davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26

Always remember to be a gentle
man-unless you are a woman.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26

Mrs. Wtnslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, Softens the gums, reduces inhamma-
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie, 25c q bottle
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26

Garfield Tea, for the ills resulting from i'm
pure blood, is a remedy Of tried efficacy.
Drink before retiring.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26

When an old man dies and his rela-
tives say that he is better off the
chances are that he is.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26

Our idea OF lazy woman is one
who never gets busy with her com
plexion
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26
COOKING as an Art.

CUOKIHy DIS OH FtII'
Frost What kind of cook is Daw-
ber's wife?
Snow-Impressioni
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26

This world is too small to show lust
how big a good man is.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26
MarksWomanshlp,

81 am afraid those militant suffra-
gettes are going to give US serious
trouble" said one London policeman
They mean business"
why do you think so?" inquired the
other
"a lot Of them have quit giving pa
rades and making speeches and are
practicing with quoits and base balls"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26

If angels had to live with some men
there would be more fallen ones.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26

Nothing jolts an egotist like the re-
fusal of people to pay any attention to
him
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26
The Easiest Answer

Teacher-Thirty eggs at SIS cents
dozen is what?
Pupil-It's-it's outrageous, SIR
Boston Evening Transcript.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26
For HEADACHE-Hscks, CApUr

Whether from Colds, Heat, Stomach
Nervous Troubles, Capudine will relieve you.
It's liquid-pleasant to take-acts immedi-
ately. Try 1t. loc., &C., and so cents at drug
stores.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26
THE VALUE
OF ADEFINITE
MESSAGE
By Rev. H. w. Pope,
Superintendent Of Men Of Moody Bible Institute.
Chicago

TEXT-This then is the message which
we have heard OF Him, and declare unto
you'll John 10.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26

The world has always been willing
o listen to man with a real MESSAGE
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26
For COLDS and GRIP

For COLDS and GRIP
Hicks CAPUDINE Is the best remedy-re-
iieves the aching and feverishness-cures the
Cold and restores normal conditions. It's
liqud-effects Immediately. 10c., 25c., and Soc.
At drug stores.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-04-26

De Roads-I'm dom me best t re-
Heve tn unemployed.
De Barns-Wot are youse doin' fer
'em?
De Roads-I'm tryin' ev'ry day not
to git work.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19
light, and Roland laid his hand gently

hght' and Roland laid his hand gently
on the woman's shoulder
Then she moved, rose TO her feet ana
turned up 10 him vague eyes and a
race so beautiful that he started And
the start set his strange trembling
gong afresh. But this time there was
pity In the tremor, for be saw that tbs
peautrui face was as white as death.
SAD, weary worn and so fragile that
MS instructive thought of her was as
Oh white lily cast out Ia the snow.
My dear young lady," Roland asked,
wondering, whatever brings you here
like this! For you are on the road.
ana l see you are a stranger"
My name" she answered family, lis
Phyllis Egerton. My mother was the
sfeat-great-g granddaughter OF Drusciila
Ives"
tOr moment Roland was dumb.
Drusellla Ives" he said presently.
les" she replied again. I'VE have
always kept the legend OF her fate ana
her prophecy against Barham Hall In
our family. And when was quite a
little thing / promised myself that
some day, one Christmas eve, / would
come and see Vote farm, where she
lived, ana the tree ana perhaps sing the
prophecy outside the hail where she
should have lived"
Roland felt strangely uncomfortable
and yet gently pitiful. 1t was curious
that after the long passing of cen
fury he should be the 6rst TO come into
contact with a descendant Of the fate
ful Ives
But why" he asked again, impress
ed by the hand Of fate la 1t all
Il don't know" she returned weak
iy, her head leaning against the trunk
or the tree, unless II was because
felt 1 must Druscilla died on Christ
mas eve. 1 wondered where she might
have been buried under the snow as
passed the church | looked at the
farm first Then | went up to the
house and sang, and then l came here
But | did not think | should see the
mistletoe"
But, my dear young lady, what viii
| you dor" Roland asked her, panied by
| her helplesSness and by the mystery.
And, oh" she Went on brokenly
when / came here | almost wished
| could die too! | am the last OF the
race from Amos Ives, with nothing
| left to live for-nothing! My fathel
| l lost eighteen months ago, ana my
| mother died in June So I've nothing
Six months I've struggled 10 live"
AS she spoke she slipped from TIT
| trunk Of the thorn aud would have
| fallen backward ia the snow, but will
| quick step Roland caught and support
ed hei with his arm round her waist.
| As she lay against him rather thai
stood, with her face fallen on his shout
der, Roland felt her hands. They wer
| icy cold.
Pool girl" he said, feeling her mis-
cry III himself. you must not sta,
here l must take you 10 the hall"
Then quickly he lifted her i'll hi
| arms ana carried her into the hall, tn
first of the race OF Ives, man or won
an, to pass its threshold for hundre'
years.
Sir Gsotfrsy was sitting in the wair
scot room alone when Roland entsrs
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19
A RIDICULOUS PROMISE.
10 Convinced One Man That the Editor
Was Simply Fool.


Every now and then magazine edi-
tors come across an attempted liter.
ary steal" but Munsey editor had d
few unique touches put upon such an
experience the other day. He had
gone about reading a submitted story
written out in longhand and had not
got far before he began to recognize
Cherokee Sal, Stumpy. Oakhurst and
other familiar friends from Bret
Hartes Luck Of Roaring Camp"
He called the whole STAFF, ani they
decided that the best way to treat The
contributor, who bad asked FOR a
speedy decision" was sarcastically
So the editor wrote;
My Dear Strive should be very glad
70 use this splendid story, but unfortu-
nately Bret Harts had II copyrighted when
he frst wrote 1t. and his publishers. who
now own the copyright, would object, We
fear, to your receiving money Tor II.
Not long afterward the man from
Memphis wrote IN reply:
Dear Mr. Editor-l have looked that
matter up and | find that the story was
nTst wrote IN ls.o, anu GOP1 IiEHt has
run out, and you have perfect right 10
pay me for 1t. ana ! hope 10 receive check
by return mail
This made the editor little hot un-
der the collar, but he resolved to be
patient aud go further with the sar'
casm So he wrote:
My Dear Strive are very glad to hear
that the copyright on THE Luck OF Roar
ing Camp has expired. How very care
less OF Bret! However. ! regret that II
seems stll impossible 10 pay YOU for this
story, because i now recall that when
Bret Harte lay on his deathbed he made
me promise that | would never. never buy
and print a story OF his that had been
previously bought and paid Tor elsewhere
am very, very sorry.
This Is how the sarcasm fell-shown
ia the reply written on postcard from
Memphis.
You ought TO be sorry For making such
| q promise you are -- fool
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19

the following manner
Small ropes OF green's are arranged
10 reach from the chandelier 10 the
four corners OF the room, and directly
over A number OF small tables are
bells Of silvered wire aud crystalized
grasses. The ciappers OF the bells,
representing snowhalls, are fashioned
from cotton batting and sprinkled
with diamond dust About the rooms
are crystal bowls holding white cbrys
anthemums both real and ARTIFICIAL
ana on d side table Is snow man on
a huge SNOWFALL made from trdyed
cut cotton with a coaung or salt and
crystalited alum On the head OF the
snow man is jsuntiiy perched d point
ed white paper cap
The run or the evening begins when
white paper bags are passed and the
guests are given each In turn snow
balls, OF, rather rubber balls, covered
with wool, aud requested 10 knock the
hat of the snow man When one sue
ceeds la doing su down tumble white
candy balls as big as large marbles.
The SNOWFALL is a kind OF jack Horn
OF pie piled high with cardboard boxes
initiating stockings Each box Is tied
with white baby ribbon and artistical-
iy embeiished with a sleigh, win
ter landscape, d Santa Claus, d Christ
mas tree and an appropriate couplet
| The top Of each box is marked 50 as
10 guide the players TO their places at
the little tables, at which progressive
old fashioned games, such as authors
skip. crokinole, tackstraws, dominos,
go bang, checkers, parchesi and an
CLING are to be played Each guest
| selects his or her box, and then the
hostess writes the name or the owner
upon IL. after which the boxes are
placed In a row on the mantel When
all are seated at the small tables 1t Is
discovered that the tally surprise Is to
be the most delightfully."- amusing fea-
ture OF the afternoon AT the end OF
every game those who win draw from
an immense stocking hanging from
the mantel packages done up ia firing
ed white tissue paper and drop them
In their stocking boxes, and at the end
of the afternoon the one having the
fullest stocking box receives a big
bunch or white carnations tied with
white ribbon
Much merriment follows the undo
ing OF the packages, as each one con
tains comical toy.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19
Than His Smile Eadsd.

Ramsay Gales IN his "reminiscences
says he was once travelling In a smok-
Ing compartment Oh an Irish railway.
The only other person in the compart
ment was a gentleman who was smok
ing pipe with evident satisfaction,
but whose tobacco had particularly
disgusting smell Not having any to-
bacco himself with which TO overcome
this appalling smell, MIR. Gales opened
the window But the weather was
very cold and he was Obliged TO shut
IL again almost at once IL then oc
CURED 10 him that possibly good hn
mored remonstrance might prevail and
abate the nuisance. so he said, with q
conciliatory smile, Pardon me, sir. bul
really your tobacco would poison q
toad
without moving a muscle OF his face
the smoker took his pipe FROM hi:
mouth and replied;
Evidently"
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19
HERE'S FUN.
Definitions Is a Game For Old or
Young.

Young
Definitions IS an interesting game
suitable for young folks, and their ell
Gers need not disdain to Join In. The
leader gives to each a slip Of paper, on
which he or she writes the word CIV
ell TO define and the definition OF It, ac.
cording to the idea Of the writer
Each player In turn has the right 10
give word that has some connection
with the Yuletide festival, aud all these
words are written down before the
definitions are written The object Is
to allow each one liberty III defining
a word to be epigrammatic, poetlcsi'
ideal or imaginative.
In one game the word wind was
defined az rude boreas-blustsrins
rodrer," the fan OF nature" "a Del
lows that stirs up great fires ana
the sailors friend aud enemy" the
champion kisser," etc a pen was de-
fined as "a loss to one goose, and no
gain to another" the servant OF
thought" and the cause OF many
lawsuit"
There is no limit to the wise anu
witty and foolish things one may md
In these definitions.
When they are all written and each
slip signed they are folded and put Ia
vase and the best reader is chosen
to read them. The best ones sntitls
the writer to prize.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19
JACK nORNER'S
CHRISTMAS GIFT
Twas the night before Christmas.
And all through the house

Twas the night before Christmas.
And all through the house
Not creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.
TIME little verse kept continually
running through Jack Horners
u mind as he sat In his library
with no light but the ttful flick
er OF the burning Goals In the fire.
place, 1t was the night before Christ
mas, and throughout the house not a
sound was TO be heard.
For some time Jacks wife had been
Ill, and the care ana constant atten-
uon he had given her showed plainly
ia his worn looking face She was
sleeping now. so Jack had seated him
SELF before the glowing Goals to allow
his thoughts to contrast the morrow
with other Christmases that nad gons
before.
He had been married FIVE years. How
happy those Christmases had been to
both OF them, each giving token full
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19

FATHER, THE 5iNuhH1
with his burden, for the ladies ana the
children had gone to the nursery, ana
he looked up blankly.
Father, the singer" Roland saiu
grayely, 1.-THE last of the race or Dru-
scilIa Ives. found her under the tfee'
wanderer and friendless. You your
self can see how she Is
"Fetch your mother, and I'll ring Tor
Mrs Cox and Parkins," said Sir GeoI'
frey huskily.
PHYLLIS Egerton was carried to the
bedroom ia which a hundred years ago
Roger Lyndale had slept, ana kinoiy
Christmas was made for her, but four
DAYS passed before she could leave the
chamber.
ON New Years day wondering eyes
watched Phyllis and Roland going up
through the village to old Barham
church
Phyllis and Roland went to wealth
ar crumbled gravestone which, tranr
zion said. marked the grave In winch
nruscilla Ives had been buried, and
with hands clasped across the now nat
grass, they kissed.
"A happy New Year, my lady. A
s.nnv New Year. SIR" the village folks
greeted as Phyllis and Roland return
ed to the hall.
II was the happiest year that Roland
mad known. aud as he ana phyihs
nassed up the drive they looked and
SMILED at the thorn aud the mististos
bough.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19
Put His Foot In u.

A gifted amateur singer who mao
lust recovered from u slight colo re
sponded 10 an invitation 10 sing az a
swell social affair aud rendered bis Sc
lection ia most charming manner.
The host was uervous. a bit shy aud
somewhat inexperienced. and he rose
burriedly at the conclusion OF tue
song
Ladies and--er -geutemen he be
gan. before Mr. NJ. started to-er-
sing be asked me to apologize fot MS
voice. but omitted to DO so-s'
--so-i-er-apologize now"
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19

of heartfelt love and each receiving
with feeling that kings could receive
NO more And even before this, years
ago, when they We're sweethearts--and
they had been sweethearts FOR d long
time-tne night before Christmas had
been so much to them that each isY
awake the greater part OF the night In
order to be up all the earlier In tile
morning.
And. after all these memories, here
was Christmas eve. and his wife was
very III. She wouldn't be up In tbs
morning. No; the house would be
quiet, and she would feel worse De-
cause she could not be up. bright and
happy. a sort of living synonym or the
day.
His wife called him from his reverie
He went to her and did her mddinS'
She looked up at him with the peculiar
smile of a woman who is grateful Tor
the constant love Of u good man. Iheh
she said IL low voice;
Jack, you look so dreadfuily tired
1 feel terrible to be sick and keep you
worried ana up all times OF the night
aud day. Dear boy, you haveRft had
sny sleep In d month, have you"
Never mind me-" replied her nus
band and kissed her. How do you
feel nowr
Fine. Tomorrow's Christmas, isn't
itf' she said with sigh. well You
know. Jack, | haven't been able TO get
ont so tomorrow | will have TO wrap
up nv love for you and give It to you
again for a Christmas present You
won't mind me giving you again that
little trnket 1 gave you long ago, VIII
you. JackT'
And she laughed quietly.
Fatigue and care passed from MS
mind. He, too laughed softly and
patted her head.
mo, | won't mind" he replied.
"Tbat's a magnificent present"
You are SO tired" persisted his wife.
go to bed aud have u good sleep. Ihe
nurse will take care OF me for one
night"
After time Jack started for his
room. His wife had succeeded In
turning his thoughts in happy chan
neis.
As he was leaving the sick woman
smiled and said To him:
"And, Jack, don't forget to hang up
your stocking"
Painfully he promised and before re-
firing duly kept his promise.
How he did sleep! There were muir
fed noises all around him. The doctor
had been summoned. and the nurse was
going to and fro as softly as she
could. Jacks mother had arrived, and
she. too, was hurrying here and there
Though It was after midnight, many
lights were shining In the house San
Ia Claus or some one was very busy
But Jack slept on, dreaming dreams
never to be recalled.
1t was nearly z o'clock, when the
first rays of dawn peeped into his
room, that he awoke. The noise had
ceased aud the lights were out. He
arose quietly and tiptoed out OF biz
room to the dining room.
He was not thinking Of IL, but hs
noticed Immediately that the stocking
he had hung from the mantle was
gone. Then he heard bis wife's voice
calling;
Jack, are you looking for your stock
tngf" It said. yes? Well. have II
here. Come In. Santa Claus has beer
! real good to you"
| Going In, Jack saw bis mother and
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19
insuIted.

A bachelor who was very bald fell
in love with pretty widow whose late
husbands name was Robin. One even
ing the bachelor dropped In to have a
cup OF tea with the widow. After tea
was over she commenced to sing Rob
in Aduir."
The bachelor picked up his hat ana
said
MADAM. even If your husband did
have hair. II Is no fault OF niue that
haven't"
Then he fed.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19

South Africa was discovered by the
Portuguese, who were searching for
an ocean road TO India. Bartholomew
Diaz was the commander OF the two
little ships that formed the expedition
in l4SS Eleven years later Da Cana
took another Portuguese deet south.
he discovered Natal on Christmas day
and thus named ii in consequence.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19

the nurse. and there beside his wife he
could see the end of his stocking.
He pulled IT out IL was empty.
"Oh. Jack" exclaimed his wife with
feigned disappointment, 1T must have
fallen out of the stockingp
Then ne heard sOmetbing-a noise,
a cry, a squeak, an understandable some
tbing-that came from beneath the
covering He wanted to yell, 10 cry.
to do a highland nipg, but he didn't.
He stood very still
Let's name II Santa Claus" he said
at last.-New York Globe
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19

Religion lie not an austere thing. 1t
lie all JOY the moinent We hear the
Christmas angels cb0rusing until We
swing into glory TO the music Of the
redeemed throng about the throne.
The service OF Christ is gladness and
peace he means that his every disci
pie should live Ia perpetual Christ
mas
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19
Consolation.

What made YOU So angry at the gen
tleman. dearie;"
He said that was fool and that
nv hat was too big for me-"
Cheer up. darling He was wrons
about your hat IL BITS you tns-"-
Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19
Tin phlIosophy.

"Pink, I'm afraid you are wasting
your time brushing my hat. | don't
seem TO have anything smaller than
a $40 bill" Il kin change dat all
right, boss" "Then you don't need
the tip So long, Pink Chicago
Tribune.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19
The Dutch Patrol
By EDMUND CLARENCE STtDMAN

" HEN Christmas eve 10 ended.
Just ct the noon OF night,
M Rare things are seen ~ mortal
That have the second sight
In 81 Marks chuTchysrd then
They see the shape arise 3t
OF him who ruled Nisuw Amsterosm II
And here ia slumber lee
His face beneath the close black cap
Has martial look ana grim
Ga either SIDE has locks faii vide
10 the broad collar rim.
His sleeves are slsshed the velvet coat
Is fashioned HollSndese
Above his fustian breeches, trimmed
With scarf knots al the knees
His Les or flesh Is hosed Ia silk;
His wooden les Is bound
As well bsfits q conquerors.
With silver bands around.
He reads the lines that mark
His tablet on the wall
Where boldly "Fetrus Stuyvssant"
Stands cut beyond them ALI
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-19

1--WE a kjtchenette IN my dat What's
the feature OF yours. Jones?'
"A cellarette. And OF yours. SMITH
i've got a sufragetts In mine."-Ex-
change.