Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-10-31
gnNER @QRiE5. G1ty|
-U"S~ H

Have >'ou any ideas about the
Turkish Italian warp
Didn't know they was no war"
rs 1t Your opinion that airships are
practicalp"
Never learn OF 'om. So fur's /
know they amt none flynn vet
But exclaimed the ira weller. don't
@ ever read the newspapers?"
II useter,' replied the farmer. II
did cncet fur quite a spell: but they
got too funny. Bout ten Or 'leven
years X I quit readin' 'em. Since
then I've bin readin' a book
When Robert II. Davis was young
and loose in The feet he once wander-
ed into a little Mississippi town. IT
was u bright day In the early spring.
and he walked down the one street.
BY and 10y he came to the county Jail
"a two-storisd affair. standing iaush
negro pressing his face against the
barred window On the second floor"
said Mr.. Davis. holding on to the
bars and yaWntng. BY and by an old
negro csrne limpinE along the street.
totlng . wlttewash bucket. Hello.
Uncle Erh'm.' says the n in the
window. 'iIowdy.' lays fsphrai,n.
limping on. Watt 3 minute, uncle.
ays this lonesome negro in the win
dow. What time is 1T, uncle"!' Uncle
Epllraim limped right on. He hardly
looked up. What difunce does i,
make to you, niggeh" ne asked. You
amt goin' nowhere"
Al a ball in the Balkans a guest COM
planned To the host. a divine, that an
other guest. a Judge, had stolen his
watch. (which Judge vas it?" the di-
vine asked. frowntng. The guest point
ed u n distinguished Hooking juriSt
with gray hair. and an hour or ~ later
the divine returned his watch to him.
Thrusting it back int his pocket with
a contented sigh, the guest asked:
And whut did the Judge have to say
for himself?'' SSH" said divine.
"He doesn't know I've got 1t back yet"
. In the big Weberfields dressing
10 Joe Weber and George Beban sat
tense "vel a game of checkers. I'm
working him up to his part" muir
mured Mir. Weber. In a kind voice. He
must 30 on the stage in q tantrum in
a few minutes. Every night i beat him
a game of checkers in here before his
entrance. II has just the right effect
on Inn Every night you don't beat
met cried his opponent. II owe you
$l.90 in IL weeks. Is that much?' Not
so much. hut. I'd be glad to get it"
suggested the s~weet-voiced Weber.
AiNie IL certain pOlltlCldu SdllN-
vantin' aroun the country just now"
said n dyed-in-the-wool Taft man al
the customs house. who reminds me
of an old negro who used to work for
nv father. He's bound to be boss.
old Ike was given a job n day
by father cutting up some wood in
the back yard. Dad gave Ike a quar-
ter to do it. Later In the day he
went out and found the old negro
sitting on II stick and directing the
work Of another black. who was IN
dustriously cutting and saving.
Why, Ike remarked dad. didn't
l pay You to do this work?'
=" 'Y~essuis. boss, you sho' did
Well, why aren't you doing it?'
II CIV dis nigger 81 cents to do it,
!" 'Thirty-five cents? Why so much?'
asked father.
" Well. boss, it's dis Il way: / reck-
on it's wuf 10 cents ter be boss once
In a while.
Word had been received by the in
spector of the electric light system
that an overhead wire had fallen
down i'm a crowded street. The in
spectoi' betooi himself to the pot as
quickly as he could.
When he arrived he found the in
evitablc crowd handling the wire in u
most careless manner Luckily no ac-
cidents had occurred.
Going up to he nearest man. who
happened to be an Irishman. he ad-
monished him severely in grave tones.
You took a grave risk" said the
inspector. You had no right to touch
that wire. Why, man. do you know
you might have been killed outright
by the shock"
The lrishrnan looked at the inspector
with n knowing air.
All" said he. Il was mighty careful,
sorr!. Sure. n L felt it carefully be-
fore took hold of it,"
Colonel Winter Wimberly, of Macon.
ga, enjoys 4 wide reputation as a
story teller in Georgia, that land of
story tellers.
Colonel Wimberly was once engaged
In a case in which the plaintiffs son,
a lad OF s years, was to appear as a
witness.
n the yOungstcr entered the box
he shoes several sizes too large,
q hat that almost hid his face. long
trousers. rolled up so that the baggy
knees We're at his ankles, and, to com
plete the picture. a swallow-tail coat
that had to be held to keen it from
sweeping the floor.
This ludicrous picture was too much
for the court. but the Judge between
the sPasms Of laughter, managed to
ask the boy his reasons for appearing
In such garb.
With wondering look the lad Ashed
In an inner pocket and hauled the
nmo from it, pointing out a sem
tence with a solemn mien as he did so,
+ appear in his fathers suit it
read.
Mr.. Justin Mccarthy once said that
In his opinion III Of the wittiest re-
torts he ever heard in the house of
commons came from Dr.. Robert Wal
lace. DR.. Wallace was criticixing and
conde,nning an education measure
when a member interrupted with,