The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-12-08
GRIDIRON DINNER SENDS WAVE
 OFGOODHUMORT RTHROUGHNAT
sssssssssssssssssssse

Messrs. Clark and Keyser, qualified as members and invited them to take their seats at the table
 Election Rubbish Gathered
 If was not long after this that a white wing, pushing d street cleaning cart and carrying a broom, entered the dining room. He was halted and asked what he was doing and replied that he was here to gather up the rub bish.' When told that this duty fol- lowed the banquet and that the din- ner was not over yet the white wing replied that there was lot of rub bish lying around and it had better be taken up now and ne picked up a pair of bull moose horns and said; This is the kind of junk l am after" and dumped il into his ba g. A member then came forward and declared if that was the kind of junk | he was looking for here were the last positive predictions of Chairmen Joe | Dixon and Charlie Hilles. some one suggested that he dump the press agents into the bag and another re- monstrated that if this was done the | club would lose too many of it's val uable members. The smile that would not come off was next dumped into the cart, together with a bluff at big bus mess, o. K.'d by W. J. Bryan. two empty wallets, marked "C P. T." and e. W. P" A lot Of other campaign rubbish was collected until finally President Garthe declared that enough had been gathered and fired the white wings out
 Investigating the Expenses
 During the evening the Clapp cam |, paign Investigating committee as- sembled in the well in front of the President. Seated at long table were members made up to represent Sena tor Clapp, Senators Oliver, Paynter, Pom creme and Jones' Nearby sat a stenog rapher and a policeman stood near the long table When the committee had seated itself photographer entered the room and asked the members to look pleasant while he took their pho toeraphs Senator Clapp arose and pro- sted vehemently against such action. declaring that he alone would give out photographs to the papers He then handed out large sized photo- graph of himself, taken when he was much younger.
 In answer to query from the pres ident it was announced that this was the Clapp committee gathered to make up its report on the campaign contri- buttons investigation. Senator Clapp was then asked what were the exhibits and he replied, holding up bag of money: Contributions returned to George ". Perkins," and then exhib- iting an empty bag, declared that it was a receptacle which contained the contributions of Thomas Fortune Ryan. When the committee was asked to indorse the testimony of William B. Mckinley, the committee in chorus re- piled that he did not testify to any thing, but Mir. Clapp asked the stenog rapher 10 read MT McKinley's testi- mony. and the stenographer read: Re ceipts s305.000; disbursements, could not remember any but two postage stamps and eight lead pencils" Then Mir. Clapp asked: Nothing on T. R. and the stenographer replied: No, sir"
 Reviewing the testimony of MT Per kins, the stenographer said that MT. Perkins had testified that he was the most innocent man on the road and Senator Clapp said Nothing on T. R." Again the stenographer said: No. sir" Nothing on CT. R." John D. Archbalds testimony was re- ported as stating that Colonel Roose- welt is an ingrate and that he could | prove 1t if old Bill Jones was alive Again Clapp asked: "Anything on T. R?" with the same reply from the stenographer.
 The members of the committee then moved to indorse Thomas Fortune Ryan for saving the democratic party in 1904 and the Standard oil company for paying the democratic deficit in 1908. A member moved to amend by including the democratic angel of 1912, another to include the republican sal vxation army. and finally to include the bull moose benefactor. A member raised the point of order that this committee had no authority to dig into the cam paign of 1912. Senator Clapp sustained the point of order and asked the stem ographer if any of the democratic wit nesses got anything on T. R.? and again the stenographer replied No sir" The testimony of William Loll, Jr, was then taken up and Clapp asked if he got anything on T. R., and member replied: But he's got some 1 thing on President Taft, a $12OOO Taft job and he swore to $1O00OO | alibi for Roosevelt!'
 When the committee came to review | Colonel Roosevelts testimony the sten- ographer said that he had testified; l That he found the committee exceed ingly tractable" Then the members of the committee got into a wrangle over | what he had testified to and a loud | noise was heard outside and the pollce- man came rushing in and announced | that Colonel Roosevelt was waiting l outside and anxious to come in and eX- plain his testimony. whereupon all the members of the committee except Sen ator Clapp arose and shouted: "Good- night" and hastily left the room. Sen- ator Clapp, finding himself alone, said: The committee seems to have ad- iourned," and he took his departure.
 EulOgizing the Dead
 l The fun of the evening stopped about 10 o'clock, when. according to the GUS tom of the Gridiron club, the eulogi ss on the members who died since the last dinner were delivered. The room was darkened and as the quartet sank Hear
 Dem Bells,n the photographs. of the
 four deceased members who had died since last February were thrown on the screen.
 They were James & Henry, George
 w. Rouzer, Thomas G. Moves and Maj. John M. Carson.
 As each face apepared upon the
 screen MT. Louis Coolidge announced a beautiful and touching tribute to the
 memory of each and then as the clouds
 enveloped each photograph the lights
 were turned on and the entertainment
 was resumed.
 Saul at ArmageddOn
 The club stood at Armageddon about
 half past ten o'clock. An imposing fig
 ure in patriarch's robe with lonS
 white beard and white hair, with crown
 and sceptre, entered the darkened room and in the spotlight proceeded to the
 well where the president sat. It was