The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-10-02
CANNOT RELY ON JOHN
WIFE FINDS "sTRoN0 RIGHT
y ARMs THEORY WRONG.
She Thought He Would Rid Her Path
of All Annoyances, Great and
Small, but She Knows
Better Now.

l.
expected TO lean upon his strong righ
arm, having always heard that thai
was what a strong right arm was for
And firmly expected him to rid my
! path of the small annoyances of life
| as Well as be haven OF refuge In
! the yastef perplexities. In word,
| expected him to combine the roles OF
soiieious lover and provident hus.
band. say i expected this, says a
/ writer in the New York Evening Post.
John and | were married in the au'
tunn When our honeymoon was
oyes we moved into an apartment.
OGt' lndlady had an apartment under
rs rs she would not give us enough
heat | went to my John about 1t.
John, of course. would see that |
had enough heat. But did / really
need more heat? The house seemed
comfortable to him. (He was out of
it all day. He sort of hated to get
into an argument with a lady. We
liked the apartment, didn't we, and If
We insisted upon more heat, it might
strain our relations with the landlady,
which would be unpleasant, as we
were living in the same house,
woul mt It?
Aver surviving several bad colds,
save John long. sneaking look, took
the matter into my own hands, made
the landlady give US a written re-
lease, and moved out of the apart
ment
At first when I went out with John
to ingle with our best restaurant
class sat back like fat little para
site, lazily enjoying having a man look
after me, even to ordering my food.
But John always confused the order.
| got lobster Newburg when | wanted
lobster salad. John never noticed
which waiter was serving us-John
never could catch the head walters
eye-we were always having to walt
for salt or for bread while the dinner
cooled. As ordering meals was in my
daily housekeeping routine, soon
took over the ordering and John sat
back like the fat little parasite.
Upon another occasion when | tried
to lean on Johns strong right arm we
barely escaped arrest We were ON a
Pullman car with an impertinent por-
ter | mentioned his impertinence to
John. expecting John to issue repri-
mand. But John knocked the porter
down. There was a dreadful commo-
tion. Ladies screamed and the con-
Guctor came rushing up. John wanted
70 knock the conductor down The
conductor objected and threatened to
have US arrested at the next station.
k.te1 some pleading and arguing /
Gained John, pacified the conductor,
tipped the porter and secured peace.
When we bought our home we de-
csjed to have some of the trees cut
Gown, I showed the tree chopper the
eos that We're to be sacrificed but
he cent his son to do the job before
re had moved out. and the son lost
Lis instructions and cut down every
tree in the froit yard. In tears went
to my John, but John said: Now,
cea lie, YOU are the mistress OF this
hot sc. don't want to butt in"
Gradually my own right arm has
grown little stronger. / don't re
gret it. don't even consider that II
would be fair to John to do too mucl
home leaning on his strong right arm
lie has good deal to worry hin
downtown. All that | regret or con
slider is that, possibly, a good deal OF
waste went into the forming Of my 70.
mantle illusions.