davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03

A North side lumber dealer con-
tzcted to supply a lot OF lumber to a
Stranger. On looking it over he found
full OF knotholes and told his Gus
toner about 1t frankly.
You may not want this lumber"
be said.
why not?"
q want to be honest with you. It's
h Of knotholes."
The stranger only laughed.
TIL take IT," he declared. This
hnber is to go around some baseball
grounds, Knotholes won't hurt mat
ers any was a kid myself once.
-Pittsburg Post.
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03
Ul7[1HB ClA51ZE

citizens had no taxes to pay, and
whose head. aftcrward called the Lord
Warden. was n kind OF Pooh-Bah, who
combined in his single person the
functions Of sheriff, keeper Of the
rolls. lord lieutenant and admiral He
also nominated the representatives or
the Ave towns in Parliament. who. to
this day are known as the Barons OF
the Cinquo Ports.
They were great fighters, aud as
good shipbuilders. were those sea-dugs
Of the Cirque Ports. Their ships were
so strong that they really preferred To
fight in gale. and their favorite at
tack was to ram an enemy. Either
the rammcr or the rammed was pretty
sure to 20 to the bottom, and IL their
craft was the unlucky one, they board
ed the opposing vessel aud threw it's
crew into the water. Even King John
was able TO lie In peace In the Isle OF
Wight with the merry men OF the
Cirque Ports guarding It's shores, and
when Pope Innocent sent over Bull
| OF EXCommuniCation, which consigned
the kings soul to n locality famous
| for it's warmth, the men of Sandwich
sailed forth in their ships, seized the
vessel containing the Bull, tore the
golden instrument to shreds and cast
It upon the waves. In their spare time
they were pirtaes. They called IT
policing the seas" but the French
and German towns they plundered and
occasionally burned even in times OF
peace, found II hard to detect the diff
ference, More than once thier origin
al methods OF policing" plunged their
country into war, but as they them
selves had to do the fighting, 1t didn't
matter much to anybody else.
There have been big changes since
those times. Even the ancient organi-
zation OF the Cirque Ports has been
broken up by modern legislation, and
in 1885 the Lord Warden's jurisdiction
, over the law courts and other civil
machinery was done away with. The
number OF the Cirque Port barons has
been reduced from sixteen to three
Little, In fact, but old Walmer Castle
Itself remains to recall the glorious
past OF the Five Ports.
The castle was built by Henry VIII.
the much married He intended II
only for fort, the first OF serier
which we're to defend the coast line
! from Sandwich to Dover, but in time
1t became the official headquarters o.
the Lord Wardens. Many royalties
. were wardens OF the Cirque Ports
among them Prince George OF Den
y mark. the illustrious consort OF Queer
!, Anne.
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03
Corrected.

The friend took the visiting Boston
IN TO the ball game. The Bostonian
didn't care for the game, but the local
mar had nothing else to show him.
There. see said the native; the
d,cher has just thrown a curved ball.
DID YOU notice it7"
q noticed it" replied the Bostonian,
"h, wouldn't call 1t curved. l
would call it sinusoidal."
Vhueupon the native ceased to Of
fer iurher information-and they left
The rounds at the end Of the sixth
rrng the home team being hope
mly in the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Pain Dealer.
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03
Sound Dramatic Sense.

Among the stories told by Arnold
Bennett during his American tour
WAS one about young actress.
1.-TWO men, Just before her debut,
were discussing this young actress q
future" Mr.. Bennett said. The first
man remarked thoughtfully:
- believe her stage career will
he extraordinary. She has a most
remarkable dramatic sense
"'Yes% said the other man. And
how does this dramatic sense display
itself?'
We'll replied the other, II dis
plays itself best. perhaps, in the Sc
ries OF dinners at - q plate that sh'
has been giving week by week TO al
the dramatic critics and thestrics
correspondents
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03
Te<kG-.T ~,<..eN-
siberian Land Threatened.

Extensive tracts of land in Siberia
are threatened by the encroachment
OF the great Cobb desert, and a plan
has now been drawn up for a series OF
forest ramparts to hold back the salt
and drift The only effective defense
according 10 the report of agrono'
m.sts sent to survey the region Is In
tree belts at least two miles broad
It 10 proposed TO plant one Of these
from samara to the Caspian sea.
while others are recommended ex-
tending IN intervals OF about 20 miles
axh< sp 70 the Chinese frontier.
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03
plan Hyaiene Exposition.

The Australian Natives associa-
ton is making plans for a hygiene ex-
position, to take place at Melbourne
next year. fashioned after the one
which took place at Dresden. Among
the subjects to which special atten-
ton is To be given are: Ventilation.
the fly carrier OF disease the mos
quito plague, and diseases of the
tropics. In the department of cloth
ing. space will be given to exhibits
showing the harmful effects OF corsets
and the evolution OF clothing. Ono
OF the largest departments win con
tain models OF scientifically con
stTucted homes
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03

A New York farmer visited den
fist In one OF the upstate cities, to
be treated for an liberated tooth. The
dentist advised taking gas as 1t would
only make a difference OF 80 cents and
spare much pain, at the same time
showing his machine and explaining
its workings-how he would fall
asleep for a minute or two and then
would awake with tooth and pain
gone. At last the patient consented
and took out his wallet Never
mind paying now" said the dentist.
81 wasn't thinking OF paying" respond
ed the patient, but thought If | was
going to sleep I'd like to count my
money first"
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03
a Definition.

Willie-Pa Mr.. Jones and Mr.. Smith
and Mr.. Robinson are always talking
about the III. p" of their autos. What
does ths.' mean?
Pa-Ih Mr.. Jones' case II means
high priced" in Mr.. Smiths hit peo-
pie" and In Mr.. Robinson's. half paid
or."-Satire.
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03
He Had an Exclamation.

committee had the state senator
on the carpet.
Didn't you promise II we elected
you to get our country good roads?"
Why, certainly, gentlemen"
Did you do it,"
no. You see airships are getting
very common now, / thought we'd bet.
ter wait a few years. Maybe we won't
need any roads at all then. Fine
weather for corn; isn't it,"
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03
A GIorloua Time

How do you like your new Job?"
ureat! I'm working In an antique
furniture factory"
What do you do?"
a, just what I've wanted to do all my
su e ! Kick the new tables. put my
s On them, spill hot coffee and burn
s em With cigars and matches. put
'n able through 100 years OF wear
slsht hour
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03
Nautical Distinctions.

How do you tell the difference be-
tween a yacht and a sailboat?" said
the girl with the inquiring mind.
"By lookin' into the pantry" replied
Capt elect. IF she carries plenty OF
refreshments and seegars, she's a
Yacht. II it's mostly plain victuals
she's a sailboat."
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03
Honest but shreMd.

You are an honest boy" said this
woman as she opened the roll OF five
81 bills, but the money l lost was "a
IS bill. Didn't you see that in the sSl-
vertisement?"
"Yessim," replied the boy. 1T was
a IS bill that l found, but l had II
changed 30 that you could pay me n
reward"
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03

HERE 10 abundant evidences
u that all classes of veseta-
bIes and fruit may be held in sound CON
dition without the use of personalities
Jordan.
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03
G'..E o@-~-

MIs Uptown-We're living in
much better neighborhood now.
MIS- Downtown-So are we.
MrS Uptown-Have you moved,
too?
MITE Downtown-No; we're still liv-
ing on the street you moved away
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03
InekTFGHEN
|gceE3ABINET

n 6UW Ute EIUVtl W. It"P VII0
corn,
We build the house where we NAV rest;
And then. at moments. suddenly,
We look up to the great wide sky,
1nauiring wherefore we were born
For earnest or for jest1
-E. H. Browning.
Mexico Missouri message., 1912-10-03

ALMER CASTLE, the IA
nous old fortress near Deal
once more is the residence
OF the Lord Warden Of the
CinQue Ports. Since the
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
Spit Full In His Face.

Castile) for food and depended upon
It's wool for all kinds of clothing. Be-
sides these merits. the llama under
domestication. is. for its size, the
cheapest possible animal to keep.
since 1t requires very little food, and
even less water, and can do without
either for several days at a stretch.
Little camel. the name used nearly
two hundred years back by traveller.
one Capt. George Shelrocke. an Eng
lishman. is by far the best term for
this animal, which, is in many re-
spects so like the true camel. In dis
position llamas. and particularly the
alpaca variety. are considered respon-
siye to kindness: at the same time. all
possess independence OF character to
a fine degree, which often stands them
in good stead. as when at nightfall
they slip to earth with their burden.
sure sign of their determination to
be unloaded. and sign which no SEN
sible driver disregards. for 1t is soon
learned that neither cajoling nor pun
ishment at such times has any perma-
nent power to change the creatures
will Neither are these animals with
out wit, for II man persists In riding
one when 1t is overtired. 1t will from
time to time deliberately turn round
and spit full in the face of the man.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
NOTE IN COLOR HARMoNIEs
Modlstes Have Achieved Really Elk.
qulslte Effects With the
Materials This Season.

The snbtlety OF the color harmonies
of fabrics. combined with muIti-col-
ored embroideries of the evening
gowns. are quite sensational this sea-
son. Take, for instance, two shades
of soft gray chiffon marquisette. 1t
Is wonderful what effect can be Great
ed by the graceful draping. Then an
emerald green tulle over jeweled en-
broidered satin, which was shown at
recent exhibition. had a suggestion
OF Titania's gossamer draperies. An
other gown suggestive of mystery and
the East was in sapphire blue ninon,
opening over a side panel OF embroid-
cred Parma violet silk.
A regal white satin and diamond
evening gown, with narrow lace
trimmed train, which had black note
in the velvet bow at the waist and tall
feather headdress, was very striking.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
DAINTIEsT OF TABLE LINEN
Most Elaborate and Expensive Is
That In Use In ParIsIan
Establishments.

Table linen in Paris today is OF the
most elaborate and expensive descrip-
ton. Teacloths are made almost en-
tirely of lace composed of squares
with insertions OF finest embroidery,
and serviettes and napkins must also
match the cloth. Another expensive
habit is to have all the crystals in
colored Bohemian cut glass to match
the hue Of the hostess afternoon
toilet.
At recent reception given by a
society leader harmony OF color was
very successfully carried out. Plates,
glasses and decanters were of pink
cut crystal, while the lady of the house
wore a teagown of rosecolored NOUS
seline de sole. The color scheme was
also preserved In the flowers on the
table. and long-stemmed pink roses
were everywhere about the room.
A wealthy host the other day, ac-
cording to the Cri de Paris, prepared
a surprise for his guests by an elab-
crate sea fantasy" built up as ta-
BILE center, with shrimps and tiny cells
swimming about in the miniature
ocean.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
GOOD QUALITIES OF LLAMA
Alpaca Variety VIII Endure Much
Hardship, But at TImes is Ex-
tremeIy Bad Mannered.

nard working but at times bad
hammered animal is the llama Of the
variety known as the alpaca. A speci-
men mas been presented to the London
geological society and of the breed a
writer In the Queen says:
An old writer. Gregoire de Bolivar.
says that in his time 100000 ramas
were employed at the mines in Po-
tosi- Again. Augustin de Zarate, who
In lo44 was treasurergeneral in Peru.
wrote In praise of the llama-which
he called sheep-its great use to the
natives. who habitually rode upon 1t,
used Its flesh (which was accounted
as good as that of the fat sheep of
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
Judge Sentenced Dog to Death.

1T is almost as hard for me to sen.
tence that dog to death as 1t is to sen.
tence a fellow-being to serve punish.
ment. but | must do It," said Judge
Frick in police court to John Brennan.
who owned a fine black and white dog.
says the Cincinnati Times-Star.
The dog followed a woman to a
butcher shop. 1t supposed she had
GONE meat in her hand and leaped on
her, his fangs tearing the skin of her
arm. The woman had brennan ar
rested and Judge Fricke had the dog
brought to court. There the canine
made friends of everyone. But he
had gone beyond the bounds of dog
law. Brennan's eyes glisteued as he
walked from the courtroom. How am
going to tell the children that the
dog is dead?" he asked.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
One Worm After Another,

A state superintendent of schools
was recently examining a class Of
girls In natural history. Tell me the
names of animals you know" he be-
gan; but the faces of the children ex-
pressed bewilderment at the request.
At length. however. a little girl at the
back Of the class shot up her hand as
though a bright idea had suddenly
struck her. "Ah." said the questioner.
the smallest girl In the class knows
Well, my dear. what is it?" "a worm"
same the triumphant answer. well
sr--yes a worm is really an animal
but can no one think OF any other?"
Again profound silence reigned. IF I
were one Of you big girls" the super
intendent remarked after a pause, on
seeing the same hand held up. T
should be ashamed of myself" Then,
turning to the little scholar, as a last
resort: We'll. what is 1t this time.
my girl?" Another worm. Mister
was the quick response.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
OIL on Troubled Water..

Pouring oil on the troubled waters"
as quotation is hundreds of years
old. but 1t is only recently that It has
been actually adopted as a means for
calming real storms on the ocean.
Within the last few months many OF
the seamen who navigate our own
great lakes have begun to carry oil
In bags on their vessels. These bags
will be hung over the sides Of the ship
and the oil will be allowed to dribbIe
out slowly and form a coating over
the surface of the water Its effect is
to prevent the breaking of the waves.
converting the sea into long, smooth
ywells.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
For the Young Girls Eye.

There is nothing more beautiful
than simplicity of character 1t Is
honest. frank and attractive. How
different is affection! The simple
minded are always natural; they are
at the same time original. The af-
fected are never natural. AS for orig
'nality. If they ever had 1t, they have
rushed it out and buried 1t from sight
utterly. Be yourself. To attempt to
be anybody else is worse than folly.
1t is impossible to attain it. A genu-
inc cent is worth more than a counter
felt dollar, and the smallest person
who is real, is worth more than the
biggest fraud in existence. Let the
fabric of your character. though ever
SO humble, be at least real.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
BABY's ECZEMA AND BoILs

MY son was about three weeks old
when / noticed breaking-out on his
checks, from which a watery sub
arms. shoulders and breast broke out
also. and in a few days became a solid
scab became alarmed, and called
our family physician who at once pro-
nounced the disease eczema The lit
tie fellow was under treatment for
about three months. By the end of
that time, he seemed no better. / be-
came discouraged. ! dropped the doc
tors treatment, and commenced the
use OF Cuticura Soap and Ointment.
and In few days noticed marked
change. The eruption on his cheeks
was almost healed. and his shoulders,
arms and breast were decidedly bet
ter When he was about seven months
old. all trace of the eczema was gone.
During his teething period. his
head and face were broken out in
boils which / cured with Cuticura
Soap and Ointment. Surely he must
have been great sufferer. During
the time of teething and from the time
dropped the doctors treatment
used the Cuticura Soap and Cuticura
Ointment. nothing else. and when two
years old he was the picture of health.
His complexion was soft and beauti-
ful, and his head a mass Of silky curls.
l had been afraid that he would never
be well. and ] feel that owe a great
deal to the Cuticura Remedies" !"
(Signed) Mrs. Mary w. Ramsey. 224
e. Jackson St, Colorado Springs. Col.
Sept. "a. 1910. Although Cuticura
Soap and Ointment are sold by drug
gists and dealers everywhere. sam
pie of each. with 32-page book. will be
mailed free on application to "Cuti-
cura," Dept. L. Boston.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
Novel and Useful Clock.

Among curious clock novelties is the
shadow boudoir clock. With it there
is no need Of getting up to strike a
light or turn on the bulb. All that is
necessary is to touch button and the
time is flashed on the wall. after the
same fashion that signs are flashed on
the sidewalk. When the owner of the
clock goes to bed he turns night dial
to the ceiling and when he presses a
bulb the electric light reflects from
the dial through the lens and appears,
giving the correct time in shadow on
the ceiling.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
NeoktIes of Wood.

A syndicate comprising English cap
italists has been formed to promote
the sale Of tile silk" composed OF so
per cent wood pulp and so per cent
artificial silk. Samples are being SUBJ
mitted to the New York Wholesale
neckwear manufacturers, and consid-
srable experimenting is taking place.
In point Of price this material shows
advantage over conventional fabrics
Its luster. feel and general appear-
lnce closely resemble genuine silk.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
BOOKS THAT THE BOYS ENJOY
Philadelphia Press Makes Denial That
Children of Today Are Wiser
Than Parents Were.

An English trade publication. after
a prolix and profitless dise1ssion OF
the risks OF issuing juveH q literature.
makes this portentous statement:
The simple fact is this-children to-
day are wiser than their parents were.
They don't want Robinson Crusoe or
Alice in Wonderland. They are up to
the Had and Dante's Inferno while
their parents are reverting with de-
light to the immortal books they
scorn."
We doubt that, says the Philadei-
phia Press. A healthy boy wants and
enjoys boys books. Jules Verne
wrote them for him; so did Henty, by
the score. SO did Noah Brooks. The
beauty about the boy is that his lit
erary taste-if he is properly reared
natures with his years. He cannot
be always tied to apron strings: he
escapes from the Swiss Family Robin
son to the search for Treasure Island I;
presently his adolescent eye widens
to the clattering hoofs of The Three
Musketeers." Then, as he has aged
he has saged; In the words OF Robert
Louis Stevenson himself, "he takes
horse with D'Artagnan." Thenceforth
he may open with impunity the pages
of Virginibus Puerisque.
Meanwhile his parents have re
traced their steps. They are reading
again with astonished minds the class
les OF their childhood. They see amaz
ing beauties. forgotten or unperceived
They are barking back. They are boys
again.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31

Grey voile with silk stripe made
up over satin forms this dainty dress.
1t has the skirt just eased into the
waist-band and faced up at the foot
by a piece of the material, which is
piped at the top with cerise satin.
The bodice also has a lace yoke
piped and trimmed on the shoulders
with buttons and loops. these also
trim the over-sleeves, while the under
ones are of the lace. Black satin rib
bon encircles the waist, bows and
ends are arranged at the left side of
front.
Materials required; 31s yards voile
40 inches wide. 3h yards satin 40
inches wide. u yard cerise satin on
the cross, 7s yard lace IS inches wide,
2 yards satin ribbon.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
The Boys Walk Through.

Of washing trough. In which the boys
can cleanse their feet before retiring
for the night
The trough is some thirty feet long
and ten inches deep. The boys walk
through the trough and each Of them
is handed towel as he emerges. AS
the floor all around is cement. the ladf
walk clean footed to bed.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
GOOD SANITATION IN HAWAII
Washing Trough Placed In Dormitory
Of school Building for Boys
to Cleanse Their Feet.

That the inmates Of boys school
in Hawaii may not suffer from un-
cleanly habits. unique contrivance
is Installed in its new building The
Hawaiian Star tells about 1t:
In the dormitory a new feature has
been adopted. which is the putting in
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
BOY Had a Reason.

A prominent Slough public man.
who is smoker himself. telsl good
story at his own expense. He entered
an omnibus at Slough and found a
lad inside putting away at cigaret
my boy" he observed. "if you smoke
you will never grow a big man."
Don't want to-" was the retort. I'm
going to be jockey"
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
INGENIOUS FlSH-LlNE REEL
Spool Not Only Rotates, But Performs
Eccentric Gyrations-Does Not
TaneIe In Winding.

This gyratory reel is SO named be-
cause the spool not only rotates. but
performs eccentric gyrations. the pur-
pose of which Is to cross-wind the line
so that 1t cannot tangle. says the Pop
ular Mechanics. 1t is applying to the
reel the winding principle employed in
winding ball of twine by hand. and
1t cross-winds the line without the aid
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31

There is very little fighting done In
the world. considering the number OF
men who go around with chips on
their shoulders.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
Motorists Lunch Box.

A toy trunk makes an inexpensive
and practical lunch box for motorists.
1t will hold enough for several meals,
and the tray can be used for napkins
anS small silver.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
Would Have Given Warnlnn-

Papa-'T hear you have been bad
girl today and had to be spanked" !"
Small Daughter-"Mamma is awful
strict. II I'd known she used to be
school teacher. I'd told you not to
marry her"
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31

The Paxton Toilet Co. of Boston.
Mass. will send large trial box OF
Paxtine Antiseptic. delightful cleans
Ing and germicidal toilet preparation.
to any woman, free, upon request.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
II YoT Are a TrIfie Sensitive

About the size of your shoes, you can
wear a size smaller by shaking Aliens Foot
Ease, the antiseptic powder, into them
Just the thing for Dancing Parties and for
Breaking In New Shoes. Sample Free.
Address Allen s. Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Y
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31

More important than the choice of Presi-
dent is the selection OF Garfield Tea as the
remedy for constipation and bllousness.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
Imnortant to Mothera

A woman can remember how a man
once made love to her long after she
has forgotten his name
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31

There is no reason why you
shouldn't try again. even though at
first you do succeed
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
The term reverend was first applied
to clergyman In 1857.

The most stubborn cosiiveness yields,
gently and naturally, to the persuasive action
of Garfield Tea
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31

Mrs. Wfnslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
tecthing, softens the gums. reduces inHamma
ton, nliays pain, cures wind collie, 25c q bottle.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31

Be happy. Use Red Cross Bag Blue;
much better than liquid blue. Delights
the laundress. All grocers.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31

The Scotchmen are the heaviest on
the average of all British subjects.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31
Spoiled Children.

Il like spoiled children why p
tits great fun to see them make
their parents obey"
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31

Garfield Tea is admittedly the simplest ant
best remedy for constipation.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31

Street gas lamps were first used ir
London in 1907.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-05-31

London is the healthiest capital of
Europe.