davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

In Philadelphia all women under
thirty are girls" Philadelphia. the
chivalrous and altruistic. is proving
itself the City OF Brotherly Love to
the lone sisters.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

Playing cards has been traced bach
20 the year 500 A. ID. 1t Is safe to pre-
sumo that the police OF those days
gathered In their graft Just n merrily
m now.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10
Cruiser eombards Fort..

Perrin, Arabia. Oct. 5.--An Italian
cruiser is bombarding the forts at
Sheik Slid. some distance to the north
OF this island.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10
Sir Thomas Upton Comma.

New York. Oct. Sir Thomas Lip
ton is expected to leave England for
a visit to this country on Saturday.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

A python In the New York zoo eats
but one meal a year.. This reduces
Bookkeeping costs to n minimum.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

Among all the adjectives that have
been applied to the costumes that the
g1ris r wearing now we haven't
noticed modest"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

ANY movement to restrain the activ-
tiles Of the genius who designs freak
shoes for men VIII deserve public ap-
probation.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

There were fourteen billion tele.
phone calls In the United States last
year. DO you wonder that the lines
were sometimes busy?
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

sound proof floors in apartment
buildings are a grand institution, Blu
uutfl the sound proof baby is inventes
somebody is sure to complain.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

London telegraph company ia hiring
girls to replace messenger boys.
Leave Il to a girl to carry messages.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

An English actor who wore a corset
has died as the result of tight lacing
Evidently the manager declined &c
give him a fat part.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

An artist who painted $40 bills has
been arrested. Painting $40 bills does
not seem to be any o profitable
than gliding lilies.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

Lemons are becoming more expen-
sive. but II Is probable that many OF
them win still be handed around.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

Canada sold so, 600. 900 Holsters last
winter New York will have to hustle
10 live up to It's reputation.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

Antiquarians have discovered an
ether Venus. doubtless without FIRST
getting the consent of their wives.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

Almost any candidate is a promis
ing candidate.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

A New York man Ia reported to
have borrowed $4,000 from his laun,
dress. II she had It 1t is quite pos.
sible.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

The girl with the coat OF seashore
tan now looks alphabetically at her
~pale-faced. stay-at-home sisters.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

Soon the lover of lake sports will
wish 20 exchange his bathing suit for
a pair Of skates.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

Now it's the cold storage cure fol
hay fever.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

baltimore policemen must not play
dominoes on Sunday. Probably It 10
the y game that they don't play at
all.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

II II were not for the old warships
what would the young warships have
20 shoot at In target practice?
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

Tobacco 10 now grown In Kansas.
and several new brands OF Havana
cigars will soon be put on the market.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

Chicago. Oct. ~7.--Sunday was the
hottest Oct : since 1879 in Chicago.
In she afternoon the mercury reached
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

The slaughter OF an aviator now and
then has almost ceased 70 be. a mat
aer OF news.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

T~ight-skirted women hobbling TO
catch a car are az funny AZ n sack
.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

DO you suppose the government will
get any nearer the telephone trust
than q Long distance call?
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

Bohemia has n woman member OF
parliament. Showing the true Bohe-
milan spirit. ~ It were.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

The air continues to be a poor place
IN which to do fancy work.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

The excursion girl now sweetly
changes into the matinee maid.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

II will be Thanksgiving day for
ITALY II she finally saws a limb OF Tur.
,ksy.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1912-10-10

Our idea OF nothing to feel sad
about 10 losing q Job al aviator.
Evening star., 1912-09-08

avenin's playin' sivin-up in tn school
houses, but I'm willin' to make a
sacrifice. An I'll go mesilf. I'll fol-
low tn thrumpet notes iv me leader
anywhere. It Is thrue that there ar-re
hood. They ar-re all four-story brick
bui1din's. It's also thrue that I'll feel
crowded sittin' in thin littul childher's $
chairs. an if sit on tn desk I'm lrble
to have me pants rooned be tn ink we'll.
But I'll go anyhow. because 1 see tn
idee. It's bold wan. 1t is to scare
tn corrupt politicians. They amt
afraid iv tn polls or tn grand jury.
but these nuclei that niver sleep will
dhrive thin out iv bizness. 1 can see
lot iv tn handy boys sittin' around in
Schwartzmeister's back room tn night
befure tn iliction, each wan busy at
his app'inted task. Wan is fasthenin'
tn false bottoms in tn ballot boxes.
Another is insthructin' tn judges and
clerks iv iliction on tn varyous crimps
in tn Austhralyan ballot, while a
third is arrangin' tn change in neat
bundles.
Suddenly tn dure is flung open an a
Evening star., 1912-09-08

pledge an sthrike out the wur-rud dig
nified' as unsuitable.
"Pro-fissor Wilson's campaign is TIL
on'y dignified wan. He's croshayin' 1t
himsilf an it appeals to all who take
an inthrest in needul wur-ruk. Tiddy
Rosenfelt says: Boys. there ar-re burg
lars in tn house. I know, because I'm
familyar with tn sound iv their foot
steps. Get ye'er guns and we'll shoot
thim.' But We can't disturb tn pro-
fissor. He knows that burglary ended
with Aaron Burr. He knows 1t be-
cause he wrote 1T. He sits quietly
there undher tn lamp sayin' to him
silf: Take off two stitches, yarn over,
chain wan. skip wan, yarn over an
so on. A beautiful patthern. Th last
speech I read iv me sanity leader
made me heart beat at Taste twinty
to tn minyit. His idee is that there's
har'Iy anything wrong with tn coun-
thry that can't be cured be us pro-
letaries gath-rin' together in tn littuI
schoolhouses an formin' what he calls
nuclei
Its goin' to be- bad FIR me bizness
if tn dimmycrats begin to spind their
Evening star., 1912-09-08

lead. When it leaves Lima, Ohio. it
don't know whether it will turn out as
pie crust or as Car of Rooshya.
But / started to tell ye tn news iv
tn campaign. It's on tn jump all tn
time. A new bull moose hymn appears
ivry day. TIL last wan is tn wur-ruds
iv Ivrybody's Doin' It. to tn chune Nv
Jerusalem, Me Happy Home A man
in Kansas has invinted a bull moose
battle cry. Th' afiicted person stands
on his head, waves his feet in tn air.
an emits a cry somewhat resimblin
this: Hoo-eev Clifford Pinchot reports
that ivrywhere he has wint he has
been met with indifr renee. Sobs ar-re
heerd firm Nahant in tn state iv Massa-
chusetts. 1t is Hinnery Cabin Lodge
weepin because he is forced to go
where duty calls him. Tiddy Rosenfelt
promised to make three dignifed
speeches in each state iv tn union. but
he made thin all in Vermont, an he's
asked tn campaign comfy, which is
himsilf, to release him firm his rash
Evening star., 1912-09-08

0HE case Of a countess and her
little niece who were recently
detained at Ellis Island calls
public attention to the fact that
Evening star., 1912-09-08

tn sober second thought iv tn people.
He's modest man. an I will say this
f'r him, that no man has a betther rea-
son to be.
."Th' other candydates ar-re maxim q
shameless appeal to tn first thoughts
iv tn people, an they don't care
whittier they're sober or dhrunk an
disordherly. But ye'er frind is con-
tinted with what is left over. His
whirlwind campaign has aroused
gr-reat enthusyasm. Thousands iv tn
most rabid republicans iv tn old school
have announced their intinshun iv vot-
in FIR him If their votes ar-re not need
ed FIR Wilson. Be tn way, Hinnessy.
were we liver in Cincinnati? 7 won
dher what kind iv town ii wud be
to live in
who is tn Standard lie supportin'?'
asked Mr.. Hennessy.
Amy body that will dissolve Thin
agin." said Mr.. Dooley. They figure
if they can get wan more dissolution
they will have money enough to buy a
little farm somewhere an settle down
fr tn rist iv their lives"
Copyright, 1912. by Finley Peter DunneJ
Evening star., 1912-09-08
Full of Them.

ct SPENT my vacation in Wiscasset
said jerome s McWade, the Duluth
capitalist. "Wiscasset. YOU know, is ia
NOUS for having originated the immortal
phrase, The woods is full Of EN-.
This is the story.
"A very deaf old man was shooting
squirrels down Wiscasset way. A stranger
happened along and said:
.''Old man, which is the road TO Wis
casset?
The deaf old fellow, failing to UNDER
stand. answered:
'Thar's one--thars a squirrel-settin
up thar on that tree. See him?
. L didn't ask you about the squirrels.
said the stranger. impat tiently. i asked
you. which was the road TO Wiscasset?
Yep said the deaf old huntsman, ex-
citedly Yep, thar's another. too. jest
a-peekin' outcn that knot-hole.
Then the stranger. losing his patience.
roared:
You're fool"
Yep, the woods is full of EN-, said
the old man. complacently."
Evening star., 1912-09-08

our pollytickal departmint. undher tn
direction iv Misther Jawn D. Archbuld,
has added to it's line iv staple goods a
fine assortmint iv naytional rulers iv
all grades an colors to match tn eli
mate. We guarantee these producks
as durable, if carefully handled, an
will be glad to sind wan nv our own
experts to attind to tn installation
Il can see tn head iv tn departmint
sittin' at his desk an openin' tilly-
gram:
'Nicaragoo, July S.-What can ye
quote US dark prisidint, speakin' Span
ish, f. o. b. N. Y?
He rings tn bell an says to tn
Office boy: Jimmy. get ye'er autymobill
an run down to tn refinry an see if
they can fill this ordher. On yeer way
out ask Misther Huggins to step this
way .Misther Huggins, tn
plant we installed al Wash'n'ton seems
to be runnin' badly. l wisht We wud
hop down there an see what's tn mat
ther with it
IAN oncartin life barl of lie must
Evening star., 1912-09-08


thry isn't speakin' to tn other half
or il it is it's sayin' things it oughtnt t
TO. Old frinds meet afther long alb
sence discuss pollyticks, embrace an
roll on tn fiure. Calm man thief
or a murderer is no more thin to bid
him tn top iv tn mornin' in ordhinry
times.
"Ivrybody is roundin' on their pals
an tellin' what they know about tn
past performances iv their frinds. First
it's Jack Rose an thin it's Penrose
ONCE. Jawnny Archbuld has put in
kick because tn men higher up touched
him rr wan hundred an fifty thou
sand. an whin he wudh't come acrost
again pulled his place an wud've dis
throyed all his implimints if he hadn't
got an ordher firm tn coorts dissolvin'
tn thrust in New Jarsey an spreadin'
1t through tn residence neighborhoods
iv tn country. TIL news firm New
York an tn news firm Wash'n'ton is
so much alike that I can't separate
thin i'm me mind or half tn time re-
mimber whether Bridgy Webber is
maxim a confession in tn Tombs or
speech in tn United States Sinit It's
about tn same thing.
.Annyhow, 'tis gr-rand campaign,
an it's givin respectable people
glimpse iv tn undherwur-ru that
they niver had befure. 1t amt ex-
actly like tn old campaigns dye mind.
whin we all turned out to see our
leaders Vaughn their chin whiskers
matther how much we hated our
inimies we had a suspicion that afther
tn smoke iv battle had cleared away
they might be found to be honest.
tn prisint campaign is more excitin'.
It's more like a slummin' expedition.
It's a show iv tn night side iv polly
ticks. It's a thrip to Chinytown. It's
an exhibition iv how tn other half
lives as well. F'r a small fee gintle-
manly guide will conduct tn more ad-
vinturous to tn Sinit chamber, warnin'
Thin I'm advance to lave their yally-
ables behind. In tn manetime Willum
Randolph Hearst sits back an ivry
time a pollytician says he's an honest
man he pulls letther on him that he
hooked away firm tn Standard lie
Comp'ny. There's wan thing I'd like
to suggist to me fellow-kerosene
merchants iv tn Standard lie Comp'ny.
Their plant is complete in ivry respict
but wan. They ought to have a stove
in lawn d. Archbuld's Office an use
IL as letther file.
But tn Standard lie Compny is a
gr-reat institution. anyhow. They're
tn boys fr my money. l always knew
Evening star., 1912-09-08

@7HE case OF a countess and her
little niece who were recently
detained at Ellis Island calls
public attention to the fact that
Uncle Sans immigration Off
cials almost daily witness some queer re-
suits of the working Of the immigration
laws. Said Assistant Commissioner Gen
eral Larned: 'It seems we'll nigh impos-
sible to word these laws so that in no
individual case will hardship be worked.
And sometimes literal application Of
the law seems at variance with its evident
intent"
Some days ago. at the port of New
York, the countess, well-to-do woman,
was refused permission to bring into this
country her twelve-year-old niece. be-
cause the immigration law says that no
alien under sixteen years of age shall be
admitted unless accompanied by one or
both parents. That is the matter in a
nutshell. The countess not being a par
ent, the officials were obliged. in strict
compliance with the law, to hold the child
on Ellis Island until the matter could be
adjudicated.
The law provides that all persons ex-
cluded at the various ports shall be re-
turned to the country whence they came
or Of which they are citizens. Some years
ago q Canadian by birth was refused ad-
mission at Seattle and was ordered de-
ported to Australia, to the port whence
he had taken ship. The man was almost
helpless and certain to become a public
charge. He was carried back to Austria
liza. The port officials refused to allow
him to land. declaring that he was not a
citizen of that country, but had been
merely temporary sojourner. 1t was
claimed that he was Canadian citizen.
Once more the long voyage across the
Pacific was made at the steamship COM
pany's expense. He was carried to Van
couver, British Columbia. The Canadian
officials denied his claim to citizenship
and refused him permission to land. The
poor fellow was meantime growing weak
er and more helpless every day. He was
indeed "a man without q country" The
steamship had taken him aboard and no
port would receive him. So they were
obliged to keep him aboard. For the re-
manning months Of his life he was car
ried back and forth across the ocean, a
guest" of the company. He died on
board and was buried at. sea.
Many of the cases with which the bu-
reau deals contain tragedies. A Washing
ton official of the bureau said:
mo, ] do not attempt to remember the
cases. l wouldn't sleep at night IL 1 kept
all those sad. and horrible stories in my
mind"
There was a Greek named Russo who
came to-America a-feH -Xears aKQ and
Evening star., 1912-09-08

opened restaurant in a small Virginia
town. His business prospered and he be-
came an American citizen. In the course
of time there came letters telling of mis-
fortune In the home country and of the
death Of his brother. The brother had
left a son sixteen years old. So the
uncle in Virginia wrote to his nephew.
telling him to come to America If he had
money to pay his passage. Russo prom
1sed to give his nephew employment in
his restaurant and to enable the boy to
make his own living under conditions
much more favorable than he could pos
sibly have secured at home. The father S
estate left the boy money enough to pay
his passage, and he set out for America
that western land of promise to SO many
unfortunates in older and more eastern
lands.
AT Ellis Island the boy was questioned.
The fact was brought to light that he
was coming to America to work for his
uncle. This was technically violation of
the contract labor law, which expressly
forbids the entrance of contract laborers
who have been induced or solicited to
migrate to this country by sin. offers or or
the letter of the law the uncle was
guilty Of a violation of the law, and
was liable to a fine Of $1,000. The COM
missioner general says in spite of the best
efforts of the immigration officials, peo-
pie who deserve to be excluded under the
contract labor law are continuously gain
ing admission through various frauds. The
man abroad who contracts with these
laborers to come to America generally
coaches them very thoroughly. and II the
immigrant is intelligent the government
has hard time to prove that he has been
brought over under contract or that he
is other than he claims to be.
~
A rather shrewd labor agent who had
been working for a Chicago house for
some time and exploiting peasants of
southeastern Europe for the benefit of
his employers was recently caught. The
case that brought the shrewd agent with
in the grasp of the government is ON. !,
cially known as the ease of Ivanhon
and forty-four companions" They were
promised high wages. easy hours and
other inducements il they would come to
America and work for this firm. So
these hardworking Bulgarian laborers
came. A few had money to pay their
passage, others had relatives who helped,
but a majority OF the -unfortunates had
to borrow their passage money from loan
sharks at rates Of interest ranging from
8 per cent to 80 per cent The labor
agent had coached them carefully and
had given them fictitious addresses of
friends whom they were supposedly COM
ing to join.
All went well until an official at Ellis
Island noticed a number of addresses in
the same handwriting. This caused an
investigation. with the result that the
real facts were brought out and the Bull
garians dep0rted. 1t was a tragedy that
none could prevent that these men had
to 60 back to their old homes, all their
hopes Of new homes and better surround
inSs hlasted Ap6 some Of them with the
Evening star., 1912-09-08

they were a magnificent nanny
facthrin' consarn. I knew that man
cud come up to their facthory with a
bar'l iv crood lie, an Jawn d. Rocky
fellar wud come out in his overalls
an take it away firm him an convart
it into kerosene, axle grease, tar, am
monya, gasoline. gillytine. hair brushes.
rubber tires, raspberry jam. headache
powders, gum shoes. an foreign mis-
sions, but I niver had any idee iv tn
extint iv their pollytickal departmint
CIV coorse. I'd heerd that they turned
out a few lijislachures an judges firm
time to time. as they happened to need
thin, but didn't know it was a reg'lar
part iv this gr-reat Industry. But
firm what 1 r-read in tn pa-apers.
this is wan iv tn most extinsive plants
they have. I expict some day to see
an advertisement:
Standard lie Comp'ny. formerly iv
Moo Jarsey. but now within the reach
iv all
I'VE ar're pleased to announce that
Evening star., 1912-09-08
Complications Brought About by Immigration Laws

been bleached out and the picture of an
other Chinaman printed on a very thin
paper pasted over and the impression OF
the seal forced through from the back
The original certificate had been pre-
sented at San Francisco, the duplicate"
by another Chinaman at Seattle. Both
Cinnamon were admitted. So far the bu-
reau has not been able TO locate either
If a Chinaman once manages to get
into America il is almost impossible to
have him deported. He immediately
claims American birth. The burden or
proof rests upon the government to dis
prove his claim, which is very difhcut to
do. especially in the neighborhood OF
the Chinese colonies.
The bureau keeps its eyes open and
thousands OF fraudulent attempts at en-
try are frustrated, but the officials make
no pretense Of infallibility and readily
acknowledge that many takers slip
through their fingers.
Evening star., 1912-09-08
Queer But Correct.

nRoF. BRANDER MATTHEWS. in his
I quality of phiiologist, said the other
day in New York:
1.-The past participle. gotten has gone
out in England. though IL still fingers ON
with Us. In England, however. gotten
is almost as obsolete AS .putten.'
''In some parts of Cumberland the vii.
layers still use gotten and 'putten': ana
a pupil teacher once told me of a lesson
on the past participles wherein she gave
her pupils an exercise to write on the
blackboard.
in the midst of the exercise an urchiu
began TO laugh. She asked him why he
was laughing. and he answered:
"'Joe's put putten where he should
have putten put.
Evening star., 1912-09-08

additional burden of a debt that was
piling up with interest. The fine is $1,000
for each individual brought over in vio-
lation of the contract labor law. This
fine is assessed against tie persons i'm
porting him and not against the immi-
grant.
The law excludes those who have been
convicted of any offense, political offend
ers not included in this exemption, also
those having contagious diseases, i'm
beetles and idiots These numerous
restrictions says the commissioner
general. "are of prime Importance TO the
government in its effort to maintain a
high mental. moral and physical stand
ard of American manhood and woman
hood" The law also provides that the
child of an American citizen shall not
be excluded on account of mental deli
ciencies.
An interesting case came up recently
under this law. In this case a strict
or a lax Interpretation of the law viii
mean a difference of three years in the
time before an English laborer who i'm
migrated to America can be Joined by
his wife and imbecle child. Having de-
clared his intention of becoming an
American citizen. and having taken out
his first papers. he sent for his wife and
child. The officials construed the citizen
ship clause strictly, declaring that the
father was not yet citizen and ordered
the child deported. Mother and child
went back to England to wait until the
father has taken out his final papers
When he is full-fedged citizen his
child will be entitled to enter and the
family will then be reunited.
The tricks of the Chinese to evade
the restrictions at American ports are
unique. The Chinese exclusion laws per-
init the entrance into the United States
of naturaliZed Cinnamon and their wives,
of returning merchants and laborers,
other merchants and their families. stu
dents, teachers. travellers, officials. etc.
On one occasion a Chinaman represent
ed himself as a merchant and declared
his wish to travel in America. where he
expected to make extensive purchases of
goods for his firm. lie established his
claim to the satisfaction of the American
consul, who vised his travellers certifi
cate and attached the Chinaman's por
trait with an official seal. Some days
later the Chinaman returned declaring
that the certificate had been destroyed
by fire in his store. Enough evidence
was obtained to satisfy the consul, who,
therefore, issued second certificate, CIV
ing the same number as on the original
and marking IL duplicate, and attached
his portrait as before.
Some time later the bureau found IL
had two travellers certificates bearing
the same number Upon further investi-
CATION it was found that from the certif-