The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-05-05

IL j
ordhnry obsarvare. or unkhead, who knows nav
thin about baseball EXCEPT what he larned be
playin' it, has no 'idee that tn game as played
today is wan " tn most intricate sciences known
TO mankind. In tn first place, tn player must
have an absolute masthry iv tn theory " balstic
motion. This is especially thrue iv tn pitcher. A
most exact knowledge iv MATHEMATICS is re-
CURED FIR tn position. What is vulgarly known
as tn spit ball, on account iv tn homely way in
which tn op'rator procures his effects, is, in
tact, solution v v tn most intricate prob
lens in mechanics. TIL purpose iv tn pitcher is
TO project tn proictyle SO that at pint between
his position an tn batsman tn tndincy to pro-
coed on its way will be countheracted be an i'm
pulse to return whence it come. TIL purpose iv
tn batsman is, afther judgin' be scientific methods
tn probable coorse thra jecthry iv the missile.
to oppose it with sufficient foorcc at tn proper
moment an at tn most efficient point first to
retard its for'ard movement, thin to correct tn
osscylatlon, an hn'lly to propel it in direction
approximately opposite firm its original progress
This, | am informed is technically known a..
FASTING tn ball on tn nose (or bugle)' In a
gr-reat number Nv cases which observed tn cx-
pertinent lv tn batsman failed an tn umpire was
obliged SO to declare, tn ball havin' actually
crossed tn plate, but eluded TIL (intended) blow.
In other cases where no blow was ATTEMPTED or
even meditated noted that tn umpire erred, an
in gn'ral must dcporc gin'ral lack iv thrained
scientific observation on tn part iv this oficyal
He made number iv glarin' blundhers an
was not surprised to larn firm gintlenan who
sat next to me that he 9TH umpire) had spint tn
arly part iv his life fish in tn Mammoth cave
w Kentucky. | thred me best to show ME dis
approval iv his onscentiic an Infamous methods
be hittn him over tn head with me umbrella as
he left tn grounds.
At tn rcquist iv tn iditor iv tn magazine,
interviewed Misther Bugs Mulligan, tn pitcher
v tn Kangaroos, afther TIL game found tn
cillybrated expert in tn rotundy v tn Grand
Palace hotel, where he was settin' with other
players. polishin his finger nails. I r-read him
my notes on tn game an he expressed his ap-
proval, addin' with show at Taste iv enthusiasm
Be- ye have head like dhrun requested
him to sign tn foregoin' statemcn, hit he de-
clined rcnlarkin that tn last time he wrote his
he sprained his wrist an was out iv tn
game f'r a week
Whatd I be dom at tn likes iv game like
that? I'd come away with narvous headache.
-
I'm not goin to a baseball game. I'm goin' to
take bag " peanuts an spind afthernoon at
tn clinical labrytory down at tn colledgc, where
there's something goin on can understand"
O. sure" said Mr.. Hennessy, " if twas as
mysterious as all that how cud Tom Donohues
boy Petite larn it, that was fired firm tn brothers
school because he cuddcn't add?"
Well, I dinnaw,' said Mr.. Dooley. at
thought iv that til last time he was in here. I'd
been rcadn an article be Professor Sapgood,
an hardy knew how to address tn young
scientist. though lis not SO nanny years since l
chased him away firm in front iv tn place with
tn hose I'd lost thrack v him since he left home,
so says: suppose we've studied hard says T.,
since seen ye last. | says How long a coorse
" science did yc take befure We entered tn pro-
hsyon? says l. Put 'em lower says he Tn
suns in me eyes he says. Well says I, where