Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-11-14
were among the best milk s.v.r. 4.

were among the best ml1k givers n
this locality. AID the rosy-cheeked
milkmaids who sat under tactical fluid
which was gathered by the dripping
caves of said cattle was famous
throughout the country. One hot day
pened to these five COWS. Strange as
1t may seem they We're frozen to death.
There may be some who will doubt
this story III some others who. in il
1ovial frame of mind. will say that
g frozen COW Is more VALUABLE than a
COW will give ice cream instead of
plain cream, but this is not time for
merry quip or ribald jest. Mr.. Petit
crews cows We're frozen and 1t hap
pened this way: MIR. Pettigrew's next
door neighbor. Mr.. Britchen. went in
corn culture. He had noted the vast
amounts of popcorn consumed at cir
cuseS, baseball games and prize fights
and decided to make his fortune in
popcorn. He planted it accordin' to
schedule and then prayed for warm
weather. His prayers were answered
and the weather came too warm. SO
warm in fact that it popped all of MIR.
B~ritchen's popcorn. 1t made Il ter
rfiic noise. something like a Fourth
of July celebration in a county seat
village and the %neighbors FASTENED
prised to find all of Mr.. Pettigrew's
cows standing stifflegged :nd frozen.
The COWS had seen Mr.. Britchen's
west forty entirely covered with
popped corn and thought it was snow.
Believing themselves to be in the
BOSOM OF q blizzard they promptly
froZe TO death.
THE WEATHER MAN.
The Weather Man Il know him well).
Who has charge of the station.
ls quite a decent sort of chap
Outside his occupation.
When not concocting devilish schemes,
To poster us with weather.,
He Is a charming man to meet
Delightful altogether.
He is a man of brilliant wit.
He jokes and makes us smile,
Goes to his office. pulls a plug.
And let's 1t ain q while.
He says to keep the thin ones on
And then strafghtway doth go
Unto his shop and turns n switch
And let's a blizzard blow.
He is a smiling optimist,
His friends meier hear him sob.
But he Is sure a pessimist
When he is IN his job.
Outside his office he's a prince
A m%alcontent, inside.
1t seems to be another case
OF Jekyll and Of Hyde.
MOTHER. COME HOME.
Mother. dear mother, come home with
me now,
Forget votes for women the rest of
the day,
For pas in the duece of a fix.
He's been taking care OF the seven
young kids,
'Tis more OF a job than you think:
He wants to get supper. but all of the
pots
And dishes are piled in the sink.
Cho: Come home. come home"-
etc.
He's been darning stockings until he
Is lame.
His fingers are weary and sore.
He's mopped and he's scrubbed and
although he is game.
He says he can't do any more.
Inc furnace fires out and the cats II.
the milk,
The hired girl quit yesterday.
There isn't a thing in the house fit to
o. mother come home right away.
Cho: Come home, come home.-
etc.
MIR. LIGHTFOOT'S ADVENTURES.
Mr.. Lucius w. Lightfoot, the cele-
DRAFTED steeple-jackist who has climbed
a great many church steeples for the
purpose OF painting them, fixing the
weather vanes, etc, had q rather thrill
ing experience the other day. MIR.
Lightfoot. be it known, is one of the
most eminent climbers in the state.
While he vas greasing the weather
Vane which surmounts the steeple of
one of the prominent houses of wor-
ship the other day, the rope, by which
he had intended to descend, escaped
from it's moorings n fell to the
ground. Mr.. Lightfoot Ices not stay
up on top of steeples all the time. He
has to get down to the ground at meal
times. He was in a queer predicament.
He could wrap himself around the
steeple at its sharp point and hang on,
but he could not slide down that way
as one would slide a flagpole. because
q steeple broadens out as one proceeds
toward the foot and keeps growing
larger and 1t would be impossible for
one to keep his arms and legs around
1t all the way down. Mr.. Lightfoot.
being q man of resource, Immediately
remembered that once upon a time q
man who had been caught on top of a
! chimney had raveled his sock and
let the arm down and by it pulled up
a string and then q rope which had
been fastened on by an admiring con-
stituency below. Unfortunately. how