davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
CHARMING Old BOY.


Probably nothing in the world is as
wholesome as seeing an old man think.
ing himself young Truly, man Is
only as old as he thinks Sometimes
though, this tendency amounts 10 al.
most frenzy and becomes wholly
irreconciIabIe and beyond all reason
case in point Is emphasized 10 a
postal card received by the circuIa.
ton department OF this Famous OLD
Daily from al eighty-taree-ye ar-oio
subscriber down-state: Dear Sirs.
Why can't you send me the sporting
extra instead of this i've O'Clock reg
ular?" We have mind that this
youngster wiii rock the boat. splash
the ladies. and cut up all manners OF
kid didoes on the trip across the
River Styx,- Buffalo News
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
Marx,s LITTLE pos.serlp,.

Mistress-M Mary, wasn't that gentle
man asking for me?
The New Maid-No. mum, he de-
scribed the lady he wanted to see as
being about 30. and told him it eotld-
MT be you.
Mistress-Quite right, my dear. Ana
you shall have an extra afternoon on
tomorrow.
The New Maid-Yes. mum! Thankee.
muml Yes. mum, told him it could
MT be you. as you was about so.
Mlstress-And while you're taking
your afternoon OF you'd better look
out for new place.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

ViBcennes. famous IN the annals OF
aviation. Is noted also for 10 mediae
val chateau With castle ana donjon
The walls Of The rooms Of 'he keep
have been encountered and hidden
~ith old harnesses and arms The
staiFvsy. trodden By 50 many kings
princes and cardinals. has been re-
siored. and the prism and council
chamber. --Trayeler'a Gazette
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
rhen They,d Say a Llome.

"Bunderby has some freaklsh ideas
Of legislation"
"Yes?"
"One of his latest notions is that
rapital punishment ought to be pro-
yided for women who CAD about too
much"
Capital punishment would be rath-
er severe"
You don't understand. BnndeTby
would have such women compelled by
law to wear hats that v e out OF
style"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
How He Found Out.

Mr.. Chairman" shouted one OF the
delegates 10 the convention. Il move
that the nominating speeches be lin
tied TO one minute eachi"
Second the motion!" yelled dozen
others.
A storm of protest arose. but the
chairman put the motion.
II was lost by vote OF AZ to 45
Il merely wished to find out. Mr..
Chairman" explained the delegate
who had made the motion. how many
ambitious orators there are In this
convention. There are AZ
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
A Enrnearinu lEriend

Blenders. you were intoxicated last
night"
Bubbles. was nothing of the sort"
IAN right, old chap. Have your
way about 1t. but if should tell you
what a sorry figure you presented.
trapped IN revolving door. you
would hang your head in shame"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

she-You know Clara was ambi-
tious TO have career
Mamma-And matrlnony interferes
WITH a career?
She-Yes. but she made up her
mind that she doesn't want any ca.
Feer that matrimony interferes with.
Puck.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
Gentle Correction Need ed.

Mr.. Littlerest--Doctor, what did you
tell me was your special treatment for
sleeplessness?
Medlco-We strike at the cause or
the origin of the trouble
Mr. Littlerest--You don't say so,
Well. you will find the baby in the 9th
err room. Only. don't strike at him
too hard
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

There are great men who cannot
spell. and small people who object TO
them. spell cat. said the teacher
TO the boy at the taft end q tha class.
Kat replied tho boy. Silly re-
piled the teacher Cant you spell
cat?" Well" replied the sensible
boy. what does kat sDeil?"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

That speaker is laying down the
law in very emphatic manner for a
candidate"
He amt candidate. He's the
voter. The candidates are in the audi
ence ana he's telling them what
/, they've got to do"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
one oId Thlno.

Said the superstitious friend Of the
conservative bride who eschews ex
tremes in dress:
z do hope she win have good luck
( wonder Il she wore anything old2
Yes. the fashions" said the friend
whose motto is 'style or death"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
Think Of ri

Two brothers. each of whom is near
~ six feet and malt tall were one
day introduced by an acquaintance to
young lady. AS she sat gazing up at
the pair of giants in wonder and awe.
she exclaimed:
Great heavens. Suppose there
had been only one Of youi"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
Gathering Data.

THE object of the average explorer
seems to bet acquire enough mate
rial for lecture"
Yes; that is my wife's aim when
she explores lay pockets"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
Imnortant plstlnction.

"you can take that ak and get up
an appetite for a little dinner. said
the farmers wife.
lady" replied MeanderiDg Mike.
what I was applyin' fur Was food;
not physical culture"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
Awful Backaehing
Kidney Trouble!
DR.. Derby's Famous Pills Will
Quickly Restore Your Kidneys and
Bladder - Danish Your Rheu-
matism Try Them Freel

Oh. the torture OF getting up in the morn
ing = those terrible pains stabbing you
through and NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. aud wrench
ing every muscle. bone and nervel You who
know the experience only 800 well. You
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
The Linqo.

4 confess can't understand what
your baby's saying"
It's queer language, isn't it?'
Yes, sort OF early English
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

About one man in a hundred can
stand prosperity The other ninety
nine rever have a chance TO find out
whether they can or not
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
stlH and Sore.

where were you day before yes
terday?"
Il was helping my wife to move"
And yesterday ?"
Had the doctor helping me to-"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

Mrs. wfnsiow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teethinR, softens the gnms, reduces innamnna-
tion, aliays pain, cures wind collie, &c bottle
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

CONSTIPATION causes and aggravates many
serious diseases. 1t is thoroughly cured BY
DR.. Pieroe's Pleasant Pellets. The favor
lite family laxative.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
Makes for Happiness.

Are they happily marriedg'
Very. His lodge night falls on her
literary club night"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

Sore Throat is no trifing ailment. It
will sometimes carry infection to the en-
tire system through the food you eat.
Hamlins Wizard Oil cures Sore Throat.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

What has become of the oldfash-
Toned man whose word was as good
as his bond?
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
- i 9 O. -
W& IS rHE ~ a M Z
- ~OF T=E gEST MEDICINE
&c. So1SHs z SoL6s

A woman falls in love gracefully
but man usually stumbles into it.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

You'll generally always end that
the person who is most suspicious OF
others. himself sNwatching.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

Some society women are known by
what they waste their affections on
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

PILES CURED IN TO ii DAYS
Your druggist will refund money II PALO OINT-
MINT fails 70 cure any case OF itching, Blind,
Blee<hng OF Erotruding Piles in 10 IA days. Soc
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

Reproaches are certainly an effec-
tive cure for indifference: but they
change II to anger rather than love.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

no CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinne Tablets
Druge SIS fund money II q fails 70 cure. n. w.
GROVES signature 3 on each box, 25e.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
An. sherlotkI

7 see where a poor fellow drown.
ed. / wonder how that happened"
Perhaps be sank
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
Iroortant 20 Mothers

Examine carefully every bottle Of
CASTORIA. a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10
Knees Became Stiff
Five Years Of Severe Rbevma,;,m

The cure of Henry j. Goldstein, IA
Barton Street, Boston, Mass, is another
victory for Hoods Sarsaparilla. This great
medicine has succeeded in many cases
where Others have utterly failed. Mr..
Goldstein says: II suffered from rheuma-
tism five years. it kept me from business
and caused excruciating pain. MY knees
would become as stiff as steel. / tried
many medicines without relief, then took
Hoods Sarsaparilla, soon felt much better,
and now consider myself entirely cured.
/ recommend Hoods"
Get IL today in usual liquid form or
chocolated tablets called sarsatabs.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-01-10

n n ONE. as in all civilized coun-
60 tries. forms the very heart
and center of the life of China
III III Population being so much
oraasar tbara than in any nth
The state herald., 1912-10-04
Unfair Comparison.

The Enterprise has bee suddenly at
tackled By violent fit of public econo-
my and demands that onr taxes be low
cred. Well. there is no taxpayer OBJ
jec.ng to the lowering of taxes provid-
ed it can be done without injury to the
efficiency Of our county government,
and, if the Enterprise knows how to do
this, it has not been doing its duty to
The people in the past by withholding
this information. We find that, even
during the year 1910 when the business
OF the county was in the hands of a
democratic board Of co mmi ssioners, the
Enterprise did not have a single sup-
gestion TO make on the line of public
economy Notwithstanding the fact that
the county expenses were greater than
they are now. As soon. however, as a
republican board came into power, the
Enterprise began to advocate economy
in county affairs.
Now, 1t is parading in its columns
and mailing out to voters what purports
to be comparison Of our county tax
on land with that Of some Of the ad.
joining counties in Colorado and Nebras
ka. So far as the Nebraska counties
are concerned. we do not care TO notice
them further than to say that those
counties are being handled under en-.
tlrcly different laws and conditions
from ours and no fair comparison can
be made without knowing and taking
account Of the difference in laws and
conditions.
The Ente rprise gives a copy of a let
ter written TO the different adjoining
counties in Colorado asking for the a.
mount Of taxes on an unimproved quar-
ter OF land five miles from the county
seat. This is Il very Indefinite request
at best and, il il was answered with as
ht'le care and examination as such re-
quests are generally answered Il would
be anything but reliable. Some of these
county seats are 80 located that nearly
all OF the best land within five miles of
them is under cultivation and the result
would be that this request would bring
a reply as to the taxes on a very poor
quarter Of land something that cannot
be found within fiy e miles Of Holyoke.
Our county Is cot1parod with Yumn.
Washington. Logan. and Sedgwiek and
the Enterprisc has not commented any
on the conditions In these eouniics eth.
er as to the assessed valuation or the
size Of the countica.
The assessed valuation OF these coun.
ties Is as follows: Phillips sl.si5. bgg
Scdgwick 1865. 2g0. Washington 81
600, 996. Yuma s2'9Gi. 7i5, and Logan s5
9ig. .OOG.
The size Of these counties Ia phillipu
3I2 square miles, Sodgwiek 600. Yuma
$40 80. miles, Washington 2,62O "a.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

The Enterprise attempts to laugh at
the claim of the present republican
county administration for the payment
during the last two years. of floating
debt of about two thousand dollars and
says that is very easy to do by simply
raising the tax levy.
If the Enterprise wished to be fail
with the republican board, it would have
told its readers that this floating debt
of about $1,000 was part of the coun
ty expense for 1910 and was turned
over to the present board by the only
democratic board the county has had il
recent years.
The Enterprise says, Figures won
lie". No, they don't lie if all the fig
ures are given. The great troubl,
with the Enterprise tax etatement il
that it fails to give some very impor
tant facts and figures.
The Enterprise might explain
why it is making such vigorous fight
on the record of the only democratl,
county board we have had in recen
years.
The state herald., 1912-10-04
niles and Logan 1886 So. miles.

miles and Logan 1886 So. miles.
Any reader can see from these figures
that no fair and reasonable comparison
of land taxes can be. made between
these counties without taking into con-
sideration many facts which the Enter
prise does not pretend to give. These
counties with one exception range in
assessed valuation from nearly double
that of Phillips to three times that of
our county and in size from three to
four times the county compared with
them.
The same amount of work should be
done as cheaply in one county as in an
other in which the conditions are the
the same and the expense of county
lacks very much of increasing in direct
proportion the increase in assessed val
uation so it stands to reason that in
these counties with a much larger as
sessed valuation than Phillips the land
taxes would be much lower than our
taxes are and there is absolutely moth
ing definite to be derived from such a
loose comparison as the Enterprise at
tempts to make.
There is only sns county named that
has anything near the Phillips county
assessed valuation and that is Sedgwick
and the comparison is so loosely and in.
definitely made that we cannot know
even enough facts on which to base any
safe conclusion, The quarter of Sedg.
wick county land may not have had any
special tax while the quarter of Phil.
lips county has SIS special school tax.
Even if we admit his comparison tc
be correct, it could not be used by the
Enterprise as a campaign reason fol
turning down republican board OF
county commissioners for democratic
board when the records show that the
only democratic board we have had il
l2years spent more money on county
expenses than the republican board tn,
Enterprise is attempting to turn down
The state herald., 1912-10-04

1t seems that the democratic bosses
OF Holyoke were very much interested
in an effort to get n certain republican
TO come out against Gust johnson in
the primary MS candidate for county
commissioner and II is reported that
they offered him democratic votes IN
the primary to help nominate him.
They did not Of course say anything a.
bout giving him any democratic votes
on election day. They imagined OF
cou-se that he would be easier to de
ieat than Gust johnson, as he Is not so
well known In the county.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Members and adherents Of the Meth.
odist church are reminded Of the Tween.
'y'hf'h Anniversary OF the church
which will be celebrated on Sunday DC,
g. As notified the day will commence
with the usual services, after which
there will be n church dinner at the
court house where nm appropriate pro.
gram will be rendered. A committee
viii be In attendance at the cour, house
TO receive baskets,
The state herald., 1912-10-04

DR. Frederick W. Buck OF Flaglcr IL
the republican candidate for represent
alive from this district, He is well
qualified for satisfactory performance
Of the duties OF that office. lie IL a
hustler and is certainly a campaigncr "a
is shown by the fact that. although not
named by the assembly as one of the
candidates before the primary yet he
came out by petition and by successful
The state herald., 1912-10-04

a session OF the teachers county read
ing circle was held at the court house
last Saturday afternoon. The attend.
anec was not large but much in,erea,
was shown In the work and Il I. hoped
that as many Of the teachers Of the
county as can attend will have their
names enrolled as members, The meet.
lngS vii be held on the second and laat
Saturday Of each month.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Republican politicians who are now
asking so much at the hands OF the re,
publican papers will have to exercise
patience so far as the Herald office Is
concerned and be content with their
turn. We are rushed with work but
viii do our best for the whole ticket but
We cannot give any candidate moro
than his share Of space in any issue.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

The reading entertainment given by
Mrs. Bess Gearhart Morrison at the
high school building Tuesday evening
was up to the usual standard Of excel.
lenee Of all her entertainments and was
much enjoyed by the audience.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

campaigning won out. A man who
shows that much interest in campaign
ing for the nomination will be very like
ly to show considerable interest in max
ing an effort to please the people after
he is elected.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Mr.. and Mrs. G. E. Paul came uI
from Hastings, Neb., Saturday ant
will now be at home in Holyoke.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

The Herald office is so rushed with
work that the republican state platform
could no, be given this week but we
wish to say that it is one of the best
platforms ever adopted by the republi.
caps OF the state and the republicans
of the county will say so too when they
read it
The state herald., 1912-10-04

The ladies Of the Methodist church
were entertained Thursday afternoon
by Mrs. walrod and Mrs. Painter a,
the home of the latter.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Mr.. and Mrs. II. F. Behnfeldt accom-
panied their son Otto to Fort Collini
this week to start him in the State Ag
ricultural College.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Mr.. Banister from Iowa who had
been visiting in Holyoke and vicinity
left Tuesday for home. His daughter
Mrs. Cook, accompanied him,
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Miss Jennie Howser of Indianola, la.
arrived in Holyoke Monday for visi,
with the family Of her brother Roy OF
our town.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Charles Hoschouer came up iron
haywood Thursday for visit with hi
father. +. l.. Hoschoucr, Of this count,
The state herald., 1912-10-04

The freeze last month destroyed a
large amount of fruit in the state and
damaged the late corn in this locality.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Read what the HERALD has to say
about the tax statement of the Holyoke
Enterprise.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Mrs. w. l.. Irwin has been called e
Lexington by the sickness OF her moth
er. Mrs. L. NJ. Reynolds.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

A little daughter arrived at the home
of Mr.. and Mrs. G. NJ. Hit on Sunda,
Oct. %.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

NJ. D. Copp is able to be arouht
again after being confined to his home
few weeks by poor health.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Two fine boys arrived at the home oI
Mr.. and Mrs. Carl Millage on Monda,
Sept. 80.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Mr.. and Mrs. Ellis Calkins left Hol
yoke Wednesday for Nebraska to spent
the winter.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

1t does not pay to knock on yeu
home county for political purposes.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

S. Freeman of Holdrege, Neb., is Wis
iting his daughter, Mrs. A. ScheunemaI
of Holyoke.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Don't buy your millinery goods till
you have seen my stock at the Sears
Hotel. Mrs. Conover.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Millinery stock at the Sears Hotel.
Call and see my goods. MIS-. Conover.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Millinery goods at the Sears Hotelfo
the next two weeks. Conover.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Roy E. Howser, republican candi-
date for state senator from this district
needs no commendation from the Her
aid to the voters of this county. He is
well qualified to satisfactorily represent
the interests of the people in the state
senate and ne is a good clean young
man who has never asked the party for
any office before this campaign.
The democrats have nominated against
him Denver man and this very fact
should give Mr.. Howser not only the
republican vote of the other counties as
against Denver but the most of the
democratic vote. Democrats and re-
publicans alike in the counties attached
to Denver for legislative purposes have
denounced Denver for attempting to
hog the nomination of candidates. The
republicans have conceded the nomina.
tion to the country and if the democrats
had been fair they would have done
likewise The democrats of these coun.
ties should now teach Denver lessor
by giving their support to Howser
The state herald., 1912-10-04

William Heller and family now ride ir
a new Ford car.
The state herald., 1912-10-04
For Vice President:
JAMES S. SHERMAN.

"A Vi
State Ticket.
U. S. Senator Long Term
Clyde C. Dawson.
U. S, Senator Short Term
c. W. Waterman.
Congressman at Large
s. II. Kingsley.
j. j. Laton,
Congressman First Dist.
R. w. Means.
Supreme Judge
John Campbell.
Governor
C. C. Parks.
Lieutenant Governor
f. T. Elliott.
Secretary of State
John f. Ramer.
Auditor
B. c. Catren.
Treasurer
j. B. Dick.
Attorney General
Superintendent Public Instruction
Helen NJ. Wilson.
Regents of University long term
C. R. Dudley.
George d. Stattler.
Regent of University short term
Representative
DIR. Frederick W. Buck.
State Senator
Roy E. Howser.
Judge District Court
H. P. Burke.
District Attorney
Robert NJ. Work.
County Ticket.
County Judge
7. j. Mitts.
Clerk and Recorder
Gust Westman.
Sheriff
Ed W. James.
Treasurer
Harry l.. Colver
Assessor
Walter l. Kilbourne.
Supt. of Schools
Katherine NJ. Trego.
Surveyor
C. A. Guernsey.
Coroner
George S. Trego.
Commissioner End district
Gust johnson
Commissioner 3rd district
Newton Morrison.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Judge H. P. Burke has made rec
ORD on the bench during the last six
years that will re.elect him by large
majority in spite of anything the oppo-
sition can do. This is republican dis
trict by good majority and the repub-
leans will go right down the line for
him. He will also receive the support
Of good many democrats who are well
satisfied with his record as judge.
His election is a certainty and there
is no call whatever for any uneasiness
on that score.
The democratic family fight brought
on by an attempt of party leaders to
prevent the placing of a candidate for
the office on the democratic ticket will,
it is true. made Judge Burke's majori.
ty smaller than it would otherwise have
been but cannot defeat him.
Some of the Logan county democrat.
we understand are flooding the district
with lot of campaign rot against
Burke but they are making their charg
es SO rank that no reasonable voter viii
believe them even if he does not know
the facts and their style of campaign
ing will react upon them before tn,
campaign is over.
The state herald., 1912-10-04

Mrs. L. p. Foster visited in Haxtun
this week.
The state herald., 1912-10-04
Bruce Earl has purchased new car,

G. W. Garland has recently purchas-
ed a new car.