The Washington herald., 1912-03-08
By DOROTHY DIX.

A clergyman has promulgated a deea-
iogue for girls. His first commandment
is, Make a confidant Of your mother.
This is good advice, and II girls re-
ligiously kept this first commandment
they might well do without the other
nine, for very few girls would ever ges
into trouble IL they were In the habit
of having heart-to-heart talks with their
mothers over their little affairs.
The idificulity. however, is that the
average girl doesn't confide in her mother.
She couldn't do 1t to save her life. There
is no other woman in the world she Is
so shy with as her own mother. There
is no stranger to whom she coulo not
more freely speak her real thoughts. ana
before whose eyes she could not more
easily fetch forth for display her little
secret hopes, and plans. and aspirations
and affections.
Nor is there any other girl in the circle
OF her acquaintances with whom the
mother is so little really acquainted as
she is with her own daughter. She knows
more about the girl next door. She Is on
terms of closer intimacy with the girl
across the street. All she really knows
Of what her own daughter is thinking
and feeling is what she gathers from the
teasing remarks of the other girls.
daughters fault and she's bitter about
it. She says that nobody ever loved their
daughter better than she does hers, or
was better 10 one. She points to the
sacrifices that she has made for the
girl, and then says it's pretty hard that
daughter doesn't confide in her.
No doubt; but confidence between peo-
pie isn't a matter of right and duty. It's
the result of a spiritual correspondence
haf bae wa
to babble. that makes everything com
plete until you have TURNED It over and
talked 1t over with another. All girls
have this impulse. 1t is what makes
having an intimate friend" as Emmy
Lou said. an absolute necessity TO them,
and il mother hasn't been foxy enough
TO etablish herself in the position OF in
innate friend it's her own fault.
Look Into the Matter.
Before blaming the girl because she
doesn't confide in YOU, mother. suppose
you try to look at the matter from her
standpoint. OF course, yoU and l know
that your motives are the purest. and
that all of your admonitions to her. and
your criticisms of her. are just the result
Of your over desire for her 10 be perfect
and make no mistakes. But this is about
the way II works out. Mamie comes joy
ously into the room and throws herself
down on a couch. She is bubbling over
with some plan, but before she can speak
YOU begin:
For goodness sake. Mamie, won't you
ever learn to enter a room like a lady?
hy can't you come in quietly. without
banging the doors? Do sit up. and draw
your feet in: don't stick EN- out like
hoodlum. And hold your shoulders back
You're getting to be a regular humpback.
Is that gum you're chewing? How often
have / told YOU that it's the most unre-
fined thing 10 do? What's that you're
reading? I don't see why you waste
Your time on trash when there are so
many really improving books. Where
have you been? To Bessy Thompson's?
You know I disapprove of her because
she's so silly and fiighty. And who was
that came home with you? Bobby Bur
nttt-well. l shouldn't think a girl like
you would waste her time on a great big
lumberinE football player like he is. Now
don't fiounCe out of the room. II your
own mother can't talk to you l don't
know who can. But you've never got
word to say at home. I'd never even
know half you did if it wasn't for the
neighbors.''
DO you think that line of convers sation
is likely to esta blish a confidential foot
iHE between mother and daughter? Yet
il is the way ninety-nine mothers out OF
a hundred talk to their girls.
The truth is that in the minds of the
majority Of girls mother figures only as