The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-22
by. TIE WY
BIZ HARVEY PARSONS.

The official opening of the hay fever
| season occurs about the time OF the
primaries-early in August. but q
| number of unfortunate ginks are play
ing ante-season games with the nay
thing. To distinguish it from the COM
mon, or garden variety of hay fever,
| they honor it with name of their own
invention, rose fever" The late May
or early June sneeze is just as noisy
and distressing as the August Septem-
Der sneeze and about the only differ
ence is the date of it's appearance on
the the job. The rose snort is
duced by about the same exposure.
Some unlucky wop5 are so sensitive to
conditions that they sneeze four
sneezes every time they pass a grass
W1doW, and seven times If she wears a
straw hat. But after a careful study
OF the malady, this department holds
that the rose has little or nothing to {! ,
with 1T. Our deductio4. is based upon
the following facts: that roses are
growing fewer as the rose fever grows
more prevalent, but the dandelions are
getting worse. It follows that the rose
has been slandered, and that the hated
dandel1on should be made the goat.
Rfcheson forgave everybody-includ-
ing; we may presume, the girl who so
deeply wronged him by inadvertently
leaving clues (which led to his arrest.
Advertisements for summer under
wear and bathing suits should be care
fully considered. There is a great
chance for a Joker in these ads, and ''75
per cent off, does not necessarily re-
fer to price .ra
A lot of misfits occur in the construc-
ton of people! Very frequently wom-
an with a shape like the back of a
hack has a voice lilkeoa cigarette pa
per, or a little bald-headed man is
caught singing base.
The great political disturbance at
this time seems to be due to misinfor-
nation. A large number of people
seem to think it is, ballyhoo man for
a circus, instead of president of the
United States, they are to elect.
The Topeka Hammer club is begin
ming to tune up and knock. Topeka's
baseball team has been playing in hard
luck, and 1T is barely possible that one
or two pitchers on ttt. staff may not
be qualified for jobs in the American
league. but knocking the players will
not help them to Knock the ball over the
fence, so why knock? Would it not be
better, Josephine, to turn out and spend
a few beans with the management, 80
that Hon. Gear might, if he sees fit,
other players without having
to pawn his watch and uniform to do
it?
In years agone,, one OF the principal
outdoor sports was knocking on the |
late Mr. Abbott It did the knocker no
good and peeved the Woodworking
Spencer A. And the knocking was I'M |
called for at that. Alb was the most |
ball player in the West |
He was worth going miles to see He |
couldn't hit a ball with a bat, but ne |
had the best trained left ear ever seen |
in professional baseball. After taking |
4 couple of swats with the bat, just |
to amuse the umpire, he would shove |
his ear in front Of the third one, thus
preventing the catcher from finding
It. Then holding this elbow in one hand |
and limping in fboth legs, he would I
stumble toward first base. Usually It |
'ooled the umpire. Foolinga the umpire I
vas his pet diversion. He was a nat
lral born robber, and a7hfirst class 7
oorch climber was spoiled when Alb
vent into baseball. He had the gall of
| mule and If caught on a second
story job would have asked the nearest
policeman TO STEADY the ladder for him.
n stealing bases ~hs made the Jump an
tccomplice and nearly always put it
'ver. 1t is a matter of history that on
he local grounds, Alb faxed his limp
ng way to first and stole the remain-
ng sacks twice in one game with an |
lnfriendly umpire barking at his heels
very jump. And the knockers knocked
Ab-who was worth the price of admis-
ion no matter who won the game, |
even Ty Cobb couldn't satisfy some of
he local Knockers
|