davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
AND SEEN UNDER THE GREAT WHITE DOME
ny WALTER HARPER

membered as superintendent of the Boys club of Birmingham, spent a day in Washington this week. MT Willows Is now associate secretary of the National Association for OrganiZ- Ing Charity for New York.
 MT Willows speciality is social work among children and he Is making de- cided success in his new and broader field. He has just been on a trip to Memphis, Little Rock and Hot Springs, where he was successful in accomplish ing some good work in child community interest.
 "Our headquarters In New york are located in the same building with the Outlook Magazine and 1 have been able to observe some of the activities about the office of Col Theodore Roosevelt said Mr. Willows.
 "The ex President seems to keep up his old custom of receiving newspaper men on stated days l believe Tuesdays and Thursdays. On these days at about II o'clock group of newspaper men may be seen filing into the colonels office They group themselves about the desk of the eX-President and he talks to them as he would a Sunday school class. They ask him questions freely and he often reciprocates by ask Ing them many questions just as he Is said to have done while he was President.
 After the interview Is over they go down the elevator to the ground floor where they stop and hold a consultation in which they compare notes and agree on the main story and how 1t shall be handled"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
BARTHOLDT'S PLAN
 FOR IMMIGRANTS Would Have Place for States
 To Assemble Their Ad- vertising Material

Washington, February 13.--(Special) Representative Bartholdt of Missouri has introduced bill in the House pro- viding for an appropriation of s1O0,000 for the purchase of a site and the erec- tion of a building or the lease of a building in St. Louis to be used as an migration exposition building. This Idea, which is new, Is to have fin St. Louis a budding suitable for exhibits from all of the southern and south western states which may be available to desirable immigrants who may be
 seeking place to make for themselves
 a home in this country. It is the in-
 tention to have space provided in this
 building for each state that desires to have an exhibit such as maps showing where lands are available, the price per acre, the crops that may be grown, the possible yield in profits per acre, the climatic conditions and in fact all of the information that should be furnished to an immigrant who de- sires to live on farm. According to the statistics of the department of
 commerce and labor 100000 immigrants
 returned to Europe last year from the United States taking with them $500
 each-S1 20, ,000-with which to purchase farms that were worn out The sta
 tistics show further that not per cent of these people knew that there were any desirable farm lands in the United States. The governors of the 4 south
 ern and southwestern states have for some time been agitating the question of securing desirable immigrants for the millions of acres of the vacant lands i'm their sections and this is one of the first official steps that has been taken toward carrying out their ideas
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
STOP MARRIAGES OF
 WHITES AND NATIVES

Berlin, February 13.-Dr. Solph the new secretary of state for the colonies. has Issued an order forbidding for the future all marriages between whites and na- tiVes in the Samoa Islands belonging to Germany. Children of marriages hereto- fore legally contracted will be regarded as of white birth, but issues from the other unions customary in tho islands will be classed among the native popu- lation. The order comes as culmina- ffon of agitation against miscegenena- tion. The institution is now regarded as danger 10 German prestige in the isi- ands and even as 8 menace to the future welfare of the colony. According to the official viewpoint white colonists inter- marrying breeds back to primative idiocy and abornge undesrables.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
MRS. BARNES MORGAN
 A BRIDGE HOSTESS

one of the pretty informal affairs talk ing place yesterday was the bridge party which Mrs. Barnes Morgan arranged in compliment to Mrs. Claud M. Hanley of Seattle, Wash.
 Sweet peas andsnarcissi were used with artistic effect to decorate the graceful rooms in which the guests played valentine note was struck in the score cards, which were each inscribed with some Valentine thought and adorned with sketches of pretty heads.
 A luncheon was served at 1 o'clock and followed with a distribution of prizes. These were silver slipper buckles, the daintiest and most feminine of trifes.
 Mrs. Morgans guests were Mrs Han ley, Mrs. William F. Fort, Mrs. w. l.. Murdoch. Mrs. Frank II. Lathrop, Mrs. c. T. Fairbairn, Mrs. c. B. Spencer, Mrs. Lee Clafy. Mrs. Norborne Cooke. Mrs. Jesse Yates. Mrs M J. Smollen, Mrs. l.. w. Collier, Mrs. T. V. Boardman, Mrs. w. H. Jones, Mrs. Hill Ferguson, Mrs. Mortimer Jordon, Mrs. T. H. Joy, and Mrs. Alex Birch
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14

Washington. February 1S.-(Special) AS I write this the sun Is shining warm and bright in Washington. Thou sands of people are out enjoying the springlike weather While the snow that has been present since January is still banked in the parks and In the yards the streets and sidewalks are clear and dry.
 l read in the morning papers Sun day that snow is ten inches deep in Huntsville and that the entire south is enveloped in a blizzard.
 While the temperature hovers around 10 above and has for some time, 1t causes but little inconveniences. But am told that this has been the longest and hardest winter that Washington has seen for many years.
 A Washington woman a few days ago, after spending a short time en- toying the open air in a park near her residence, returned to the house, leaving on the seat she had occupied, a purse containing about S400 worth of jewelry. Her loss was reported and got into the newspapers. Next morning she received q letter from negro woman saying that she had found the purse and its valuable contents and would turn them over to the owner when called for. The husband of the woman called at the home of the negro and received the property intact
 The negro woman, for her honesty. was rewarded with three crisp $5 bills.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
THE DUMA SUSTAINS
 RUSSIAN PREMIER

St. Petersburg. February 13-The duma today rejected by 104 votes against "A an urgency interpolation concerning alleged illegal actions com- mitted by Premier Kokovsoff as min ister of finance. He is said to have permitted an extensive issue of patents of membership in the merchants first guild to Jews in Kiev. giving them the right of residence in that city and exempting them from the original seg- regation law, which restricts the ter ritory habitable by Jews to the Polish provinces and Little Russia.
 The members of the duma, who in- troduced the interpolation, asserted that the Kiev branch of the Imperial Bank of Russia was patronizing the Jews.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14

News of Mrs. Meadows party was re- ceived yesterday from Mrs. Walter Me- Adory, who wrote February from Ha- Vana. Mrs. McAdory said: "We arrived hero yesterday by steamer, and from the moment of our arrival have been enchant- ed with the equisite panorama of color. The ancient and the modern interblend ill an extremely fascinating picture just now in Havana, and one can but feel sorry for the inevitable modernity which is so rapidly encroaching upon the an cent landmarks. For those who love tradition and delight in the associations of other days, there is much to charm. To the left of the harbor entrance rises grim Morro-beyond it, the famous ca banas, bristling with cannon. All are Actresses that have played their part in history, and are now silent guardians serving more to give picturesque as pect to the city than anything else.
 The intense, matchless blue Of the Su- nssky reflects itself more intensely blue in the water of the bay and makes 1t lovely introduction for a land that is al together beautiful by natures agencies.
 So much of Havana, indeed, is ancfnet and strangely foreign in aspect that de- spite the recent Improvements, the im- presson the tourist receives is that or something entirely, quaintly different to anything he has ever seen before. The old churches, and fortresses and mansions in the older part of the city are of splen- didly substantial construction. The wide avenues and promenades of the parks are ideally lovely.
 One place which has interested me is the Hotel Miramar, which Is in a setting ctfiously interesting according to tradi- tion. In the summer it was moved from the Prado to the seashore at the mouth of the Almendares river. Those who know their Cuba in the Spanish regime say that there was formerly a quaint little inn at this place, which was built on the site of the original city of Havana when settled in 15l5, and where later were the baths of the Bishop Almendariz. No
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
LISTEN TO ME,

LISTEN TO ME!
 MT. Dave Lewis. who is handing out this bit of good advice around at the Biiou this week to all the Married Men in town:
 Don't Lie To Your Wife"
 Is the jolliest. cleverest jokesmith that I've met for a long time.
 wonder how many people know that about half of the funny things he says in the show are "Lewis-isms."
 He makes joke out of everything when a chorus girl loses her slipper when the leading lady forgets her lines when anything happens out of the or dinary MT. Lewis is Johnny on the Spot with a Joke.
 What Is joke, anyway" I asked Mr Lewis yesterday just after he had finished telling me about the married man who recently offered the sum of s25oO if somebody would invent NEW excuse for husbands to hand out to their wives
 "A joke" said MT. Lewis, lis a very pleasant absurdity, contrasting with ones habitual expectation"
 Ah-Hem,
 But there are jokes and jokes" l insisted as soon as I recovered. When Is joke funny and when isn't it?"
 That largely depends upon the audi tors" replied the Jolly Jokesmith. You know a joke is form of humor which is enjoyed by the clever and misunder- stood by the stupid"
 Perhaps that is the reason" I sug- gested, ito paraphrase lincoln, that all the people see through some of the jokes and some of the people see through all of the jokes, but all the people can't see through all of the jokes"
 "A joke, before 1t becomes a full f1edged joke, must go through many stages" said the Jokesmith. It must be sterlized, examined, analysed dis sected, synthetized, and weighed and then several thousand people must be inoculated with 1t, to see how 1t takesl'
 "Then you believe with MT. Kipling," observed, that there are really only 40 jokes in existence-39 of which can not be told to-er--ladies."
 There are really very few stand ardized jokes-100 per cent jokes, as it were" said Mir Lewis "One of the best jokes I can think of in the 100 per cent class is the snake bite story. A man asked Kentucky Colonel if there was any other cure for snake bite ex- cept whisky. to which the Kentucky Colonel promptly replied:
 "'Who cares whether there is or not?"
 Another good 100 per cent joke is the one about the fellow who asked why it was that the obituary notices were always put in the newspapers right underneath the Marriage Licenses, and a muchly Married Man replied:
 Just to show that all the fools are not dead yet
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14

one ever went to Havana without mak- ing an excursion to this picturesque and beautiful spot and the remembrance of the river and the sea and the woods and the delicious "chicken and rice" and other plates served at the homely but absolute ly clean restaurant finger for years aft erward. Just off shore the English, when they took the city some centuries ago, built a small fort which was afterward a favorte haunt for pirates. It is in this exquisite tropical setting, with all it's TO- mantle traditions, that the new Hotel Miramar is built. And so one finds a wealth of quaint history surrounding the places of greatest interest.
 However fascinating Havana may be, though, a greater, grander Cuba lies be- yond 1t and it is only after travelling through this lovely island that one real izes to the full what beautiful garden Cuba is. It is rightly named Winter Par adise.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14

Mrs. Michael Clifford and Mrs. w. H. woodward will leave the latter part of the week for Mobile. to be present at the carnival festivities
 Mrs F. F. Garrett who as the guest of Mrs. J. F.. Frazier, has been delight fully entertained in Birmingham, will leave Friday for her home in Belle Nina
 Mrs s. W. Jolly is the guest of her granddaughter, Mrs. F. ". Faith, in Mobile. E Mrs. William S. Mudd is a carnival visitor in Mobile. She is the house guest of Miss Mary Danner.
 Mir and Mrs Robert Jemison have re- turned from pleasant visit to New York. They were absent ten days.
 Mrs. G. D. Washer and Master Ben M Washer are the guests of their, relatives, Mrs. J. Bandmand and family, 1850 Flew enth avenue, south.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
No OleOmargarine

New Orleans, February 13.-No oleomar- garine can masquerade as butter in New Orleans even during Mardi Gras, Is an edict announced by officials of the state board of health. and special officers have been detailed to nose around' all the restaurants and cafes in this city to pre- vent patrons from being imposed upon. Suspicious butter will be tasted, say the officers, and offending restauranteurs will be prosecuted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14

What is the most ancient joker" l asked
 Well, now, really" Mir Lewis smiled, T didn't know there was any doubt on that score. The Mother-in-law joke. of course. It can be traced back to our first parents"
 But they didn't have any in-laws or affinities or" l commenced.
 But Eve was d mother-in-law," said Mir Lewis. "She was Gains or Abels Nife's mother-in-law, or somebody's. Pm not very proficient in Biblical lore. But really, the mother-n-aw joke Is terribly old. I don't know wHY it should be so funny. either, for one of the main ele- ments of a joke is that of surprise. There is a large measure of pleasure in the Mother-in-law joke, because mothers-in- law are not popular, and anything affect ing them invariably arouses a. pleasant emotion. For instance. the old be-whis- kered joke about the man who met an- other, and said:
 How Is your mother-n-law?
 "'Why, she's dNd' said the other man.
 "'Ah!' said he. What complaint?'
 No complaint, has the answer. everybody satisfied
 NOW, that isn't really funny. do you think so?"
 had to confess that I did.
 Take the numerous Marys Lamb verses" said MT. Lewis. "rhey always excite the most enthusiastic laughter. For example:
 Mary had Little Lamb
 With hair a golden glow; He met her in drug store once
 And learned what made 1t so
 'Then, there's the Christmas stuff like !" Twas the night before Christmas,
 And all through the house We could hear Papas voice
 He came home with sousei' '
 "Does anybody know when joke is not a joker" I surmised
 'Why, of course-when it's a chestnut" said MT. Lewis like a flash, and then apologized profusely. You have no idea what 1t means for a comedian to launch new joke. Why. sometimes the audi ence receives d story with the heartiest response imaginable. and then at another time the same joke might be handed out and you can just feel 1t hit against the bridge of their noses and rebound and slap you in the face"
 And why the difference?" I asked.
 Merely matter of viewpoint" said MT. Lewis Tt strikes you as funny, but it Is absolutely unfunny to an audience"
 Have you any formulae, any prescrip- tion for your jokes?" I asked, "or are they always spontaneous?'
 '"rhe main thing about a joke is brev- itJ', which being the soul of wit, must be paramount" said MT. Lewis, and talk ing out of his pocket pencil and scrap of paper, he said:
 Here's my prescriptions:
 "Rx.
 '"rincture of Brevity ..........oz. iv. Compound Solution of Expression. .dr. vi. Concentrated Magnetism .gr. \. "Unaduterated Nerve ...........gal. will.
 Sig-Take a Tablespoonful in a little water uhe less the better) twice a day immediately after meals-2:3O D. m. and S:30 D. m LEWIS, M. D."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
MRS. COPELAND
 HOSTESS FOR DEBIJTANTE

In honor of Miss Roberta Porter, who is one of the most popular of the seasons debutantes, Mrs. Benjamin Griggsby Copeland was hostess yesterday at the Jefferson. She invited a coterie of Miss Porter's friends to witness 'The Pink Lady" including in the party Miss Amel- ia Worthington, Miss Clara Lee Woodson. Miss Margaret Latady, Miss Christian Glass. Miss Polly Libby of Princeton, Miss Ellen Percy, Miss Adele Ellis, Miss Kate Hemphil Perry. Mrs. w. A. Por- ter and Mrs. Robert Baugh and the honoree, Miss Porter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
TARIFF BOARD IS MIGHTY NEAR BROKE

Washington, February 13...The tariff boards money is running so low that 1t may not this year be able to investigate the iron and steel schedule. which is al- ready under revision by Congress. The leather Investigation now under way, probably will use up all the boards pres ent appropriation
 supplemental report on the wool schedule dealing principally with blan- kets and carpets will be made in few months.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
MRS. EDMONDS'
 ASSISTANT HOSTESSES

Mrs. Albert Sidney Edmonds, whose buffet luncheon in compliment to Mrs.
 Henry J. Porter Jr., will be the leading event of tomorrow, will not have a for maj receiving line. She will, however, be assisted in entertaining her guests by her mother, Mrs. Caldwell of Atlanta, and her aunt. Mrs. George Arthur Park. of Louisville, Ky; Mrs. H. J. Porter Mrs. Charles Thomas, Mrs. Thomas Wingfield, Mrs. Wilbr Kelley, Mrs. Mortimer Jor- dan, Mrs. Charles Nice, Mrs. Temple Sci bels of Montgomery, Mrs. Matthew Scott
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
MISS LILA ORMOND
 IN RECITAL SUNDAY

Lila Ormond, the American mezzo soprano, who will be heard here Tn recital Sunday afternoon. February IS, is a singer whose name will undoubtedly get into the biographical dictionaries of musicians some day. She is making very exten- sive concert tour of the country under the management of R. E. Johnston. Miss Ormond's mezzo soprano voice is one of rare beauty of quality and remarkable flexibility. She knows how to breathe and that enables her not only to sing without effort, but to phrase correctly.
 Miss Ormond is the third artist to be presented by Mrs. Aldrich in her series of Sunday matinee musicales.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
Euclaire Almost Wiped Out

Butler, Pa, February 13.-The business section of Eauclaire, nearby village, was almost wiped out by fire early today Almost every man, woman and child was called on for service in the bucket brigade, the town being without other protection against fire. Practically the entire town is suffering from exposure due to below zero temperature, in which the people fought the flames. Loss, s28.- OIO.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
Ovation for POrras

Panama, February 13.-Enthusiastic occurred up to a late hour last night in favor of pr. Porras, former minister to the United States. A large number of his adherents called at his res- idence and congratulated him on his nomination as candidate for the presiden- cy in opposition to President Pablo Aros- mena, the candidate of the patriotic unionst party.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
Wexler Will Attend

New Orleans, February 13.-Chairman Sol Wexler of the New Orleans cotton exchange special cotton bills of lading committee, has been selected to attend a meeting February IS in Washington of the bills of lading committee of the American Bankers association. The members of the bankers committee will attend a hearing of the Senate committee op the Stevens measure.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
Ligon Succeeds Collins

Jackson, Miss, February 12-Judge Niles of the federal court has named w. O. Ligon as United States marshal for the southern district of Mississippi, temporarily to fill the vacancy caused by the death of Frederick w. Collins, 1t became known today.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
Delayed Schooner Safe

schooner Robert G. Dunn, 26 days out. arrived in port today. She was greatly overdue on account of bad weather and had several narrow escapes from damage. The Dunn is from San Juan. Porto Rico without cargo.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
THE TROUBADOURS
 AT PHOENIX CLUB

The Phoenix club entertainments are always delightful, but the presenta- ton of ''The Troubadours" last evening was particularly so. since it combined musical and histrionic talent with the most delightful hospitality. After the musical programme was concluded q dance was enjoyed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
MRS. FRANK GLASS
 GAVE A LUNCHEON

Mrs. William Libbey of Princeton, N. J., was the honoree at a delightful lunch con given yesterday by Mrs. Frank P. Glass at her home on Quinlan avenue. There were eight in the party invited by the hostess, and they encircled a table whose decorative motive followed the spring flower plan. A gold basket in the center held quantity of jonquils and smilax. The place cards were painted with sprays of these blossoms. The luncheon was deliciousy appointed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
MISSION MEETING

The Federation of Mission societies of the Birmingham district will hold an ex- ecutive board meeting in the parlors of the First Methodist church Wednesday, the 14th inst, at D. m. Reports from the ''every member campaign" of the several denominations represented in the federation are expected.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
THE ASSEMBLY

Now as the Little Season" is here, society everywhere is beginning to look back upon the period just past and con- trast it with other years when affairs were brighter or more quiet, as the case may be. From Boston comes this news
 The second and last assembly at the Somerset on the ninth of the month brought the gaieties to an end for the older set and 1t was lively enough affair
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14

MONTGOMERY & STONE, IN THE OLD TOWN, APPEAR AT THE JEFF PERSON THEATRE TONIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME. ORIGINAL CON- PANY OF s5, AND THE NEW YORK THEATRE PRODUCTION.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
BRIDGE TEA
 AT GREGG RESIDENCE

The bridge tea to be given by Miss Luet. ta Gregg and Mrs. Robert l. Ingalls or Saturday afternoon will take place at the lovely new NJ. J. Gregg residence or Sycamore street The bridge guests art invited at o'clock and they will b; joined at 4:30 by the afternoon tea guests
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14

to make a fitting ending for wha. has really been a dull winter, although the great success of the Bachelors ball was a telling feature. It is the first season for years that there has not been at least one brilliant wedding, but the only we'd dings of interest this winter centered around Boston men who went afield for their brides so that the weddings were out of town. There are numerous engaged girls, but in these days of high living a country wedding is so much cheaper even with the added expense of special cars, that it is probable that June will bring a plethora of brides. Not even one promi- nent wedding is scheduled for Easter
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
ANNOUNCEMENTS

Pelham chapter. United Daughters of the Confederaey, will meet this afternoon at 8 o'clock with Mrs. R. N. Bell, 12l5 North Twenty-sxth street.
 The West End Music club will meet Thursday morning at 10:30 with Mrs. w. Eo C Gilman, 502 Princeton avenue.
 The Fountain Heights Study club will meet Thursday afternoon with Mrs Charles s. Blair.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14
NEWS OF SOCIETY
 HERE AND ELSEWHERE
Letter from the Birmingham Party in Havana Small Events of Interest Socially Edmonds' List of As sistant Hosesses-Informal Bridge-Personal News
 of Well Known People
BY MYRTLE MILES

Sloane. Mrs Harrington Hehin and Miss Luetta Gregg.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-14

Bachelor Girls in compliment to Miss Isabel Turpin, her house guest.
 In the Lyeeum course, John Kendrick Bangs will lecture at the high school, his theme being, "Salubrities l Have Known"