The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1912-02-19
DEVOTED ATTENTIONS
TO MISS DEMOCRACY

mid-winter dinner of the Grfdiron CLUB
in Washington Saturday night, while
members disguised to represent the
several candidates for the democratic
presidential nomination entertained
with their wooing distinguished COM
pany, including President Taft. some Of
the candidates in person, prominent
members of Congress of all factions
and guests from a number of states.
Festivities began as usual with the
blazing up of the red and white lights
of the immense gridiron over the head
of the presiding officer and from that
moment until the diners were dismiss
ed TO the strains OF THE Song That
Touched My Heart" candidates of the
democratic faith were continually In
evidence. They appeared as judges of
election, members Of a court OF honor,
as Robin Hoods band of lusty outlaws
and as contenders in a steeplechase.
The situation was enlivened occasional
ly by a few republican progressives
and regulars breaking in upon the
dominant and insistent democratic
candidates.
Louis Garthe of the Baltimore Am
erican was initiated president OF
the club and was subjected to a grill
ing cross-examination by ten presiden-
tial candidates in order to test his Mt
ness. Champ Clark wanted to know
of Mr.. Garthe whether he favored tear
ing down custom houses and annexing
Canada; LaFo1lette asked what he
would think of Gods patient poor
biting a piece out of fat corporation
every day" while Oscar Underwood
put his question into rhyme thus:
IF cut steel and steel cuts me.
Can cut ice as nominee"
The answer was: Not If Mr.. Bryan
sees you first"
To the "Gentlemen's Court OF Hon
or" was left the reply to Woodrow Will
sons query: "Is the schoolmaster
abroad safer than at homer" Harmon
pathetic appeal, Running for a real
president, which would you rather
have Cleveland's blessing, Bryan's
curse or an Ohio candidate against
you?" brought forth the comfortless
answer. "My candidate is not running
in Ohio"
The Gridiron Club permits its guests
to share in the fun attending the ini-
tiation of new member and there
was no exception Saturday night, when
Mr.. Harry Stevens was added to the
limited membership. A spot light in
the darkened hall disclosed an old
time bard, who delivered 1.-THE Lay OF
the Last Minstrel" His songs, though
set In classic music, were redolent OF
present politics Thus sang Bryan OF
"The Nomination"
Believe me. If all those endearing
young charms,
Which so fondly to conquer 1 try,
Were to vanish tomorrow and fade in
my arms,
You would still be adored as this mo-
ment thou art,
Let the delegates vote as they will
Around your dear image each wish OF
my heart.
Would entwine itself verdantly
STILL"
the minstrel sang to the tune OF
"Tara's Harp"
"oh, the tariff talk in Congress Halls
Grows sadder day by day,
And Underwood increasingly calls,
Upon the band to play,
veto fiercely turks about,
With musket and with sword,
To kill a bill put through without
Leave from Tafts Tariff Board"
The whiskers were pulled from the
minstrePs face by a suspicious mem
Der and the trembling neophyte stood
revealed. He was warned that only
Ambassador Bryce and Uncle Joe Can
non were privileged to wear boards a
Gridiron dinners, and was then ex.
amined as follows:
What Is your opinion of Woodrow
Wilson,"
IF you want me to sing it, 1 can give
you a lovely, melancholy funera
chant"
Have you ever heard Of Senator
Cummins?"
"Oh, he's that fellow who write .Ev
cry Little Movement etc"
Can you give us a song abou
Champ Clarke"
II am afraid he might not like these
old Folk songs Of mine"
What Is your politics?"
HAS T. r. announced his candi
dacy?"
Not yet, but soon"
"Then 1 don't know what I am"
But you are a candidate for mem
bershipf-
81 am not candidate, but IL al
overwhelming majority think I am tn,
only man for the job, will take IT."
The tuneful opera of robin Hood
was the vehicle for the presentation O.
a number OF prominent progressives
Most of them had sought the bosk,
shades of Sherwood Forest for the SAX,
of its tall timber, hence they fell easil,
into Robins merry crew. There wa
little John (Jim) Garfield" and evil
Scarlet LaFollette," and "Friar Pin
chot" and good Dame Marketing
besides Robin Hood; who. introducing
himself as an outlaw sang: But out
laws now, you see. are men OF wealth
and rank and pedigree" There was
loud blast" from a bugle in the fores
depths and it was announced: That
Bob LaFollette." Very faint blast)
That's Cummings" General mix III
of discords}, Henry Watterson is II
conference with Woodrow Wilson"
That tunefu1 air, "Old Cross Bow,
was given a strange twist. as follows:
ga statesman who dwelt on the Out
looks Edge.
WAS daft with his old Big Stick
"A dove of peace lit on his windov
ledge,
HE hit it an awful lick.
"He stopped awhile. and to sigh be
gan:
They heard him both near and far,
"If you wait for the office to seek tn
man.,
THE office says, stay where yo,
areg"
Dame Marketing declared she ha,