The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1912-03-01
Tests Of
Friendship

There is q general idea that friend
ship ID chiefly tested by adversely, that
4 y easy to retain our friends when
thiags go well with us. but that they
are likely to be driven OF BY our trou-
bles. This ID such an obvious and
sheap cynicism. 1t has been expressed
n 20 many tongues. has 20 often been
s~rystallised into proverbs or fables the
world over, that It hardly seems worth
eepeating. But one notable thing II
ssually overlooked-that It does not
apply to friendship at IN. It applies
euly 70 limitations Of friendship.
Il II the very nature Of true friend
dip - thrive best In m atmosphere
q trouble. Assuming that We are sin
oere. We Ill know that W an never
GrawH 90 closely to q friend - whsn
- Il n difficulties and needs M Il II
easy to be his friend then, because
nat u Just the condition that friend
chip dloves; tits far more dincult to
- his friend when hs Il prosperous
md seems to have no need of us.
Il may seem that this friendship IN
diversity Il . very noble thing; Ger
emily there may be much beauty.
much tender self-sacrihce and loving
service in its manifestation. But let
- not hatter ourselves too easily.
The trouble Of a friend makes It's
appeal to our vanity; we feel that we
are needed. and this Is always q graft
Tying knowledge: we feel that we are
Of importance and that IL wei q pleas
are to u self-esteem. But when
everything is well with our friend, ap-
parently he has what he wants and
= Independent Of us. Naturally, that
- . time when shams of friendship
flourish. for their aim is to get and not
20 give; true friendships aim Is to
get by giving.
OF course the difference in our
6iend's condition Is really only super
0cia1: he truly needs our friendship al
ways, as much in prosperity as in trou-
Ole. But we are disconnected by ap-
oearances; If We ever draw away from
him. cool toward him, it is when he is
t the sunshine, not when the clouds
are around him. His prosperity may
ALLEVIATE us: his trouble calls us back
10 him. And this fact should cause
rs . very limited pride. Our attitude
n his prosperity is the real test.
We may therefore say that a mans
prosperity is the greatest trial of his
1riends-that Is, OF his true friends.
It ought to be true that friendship
shares the joys as well as the sorrows
Of life. but in the case of the joys the
sharing is more difficult. 1t is not diff
0cult to 90 about seeking pleasure to-
gether. to travel, to have a good time
together; 1t is not difficult to share
oach others love of art or music or
literature or science. Comradeship in
these things may become very close.
very stimulating and satisfying; but
mere ~comradeship, good fellowship is
not quite enough for friendship.
Can We be truly glad when our
friend IL doing better than we are
In any one o. taese pursuits, when he
succeeds. while. perhaps, we are do
ing poorly, when he wins applause
that is denied US? Is it not easy to
ehfnk that his success is a little be-
y0nd measure and our is a little be-
low? Or II fortune comes to him as it
has never co.ne - us; II riches are
poured hto his hands, SO that he can
gain whatever money will purchase
and do whatever he has a mind to-;
d It then SO easy to remain his loyal
and devoted friend, assuming that we
are far above any desire to sponge
upon his wealth? Can we bring our
selves, in proper spirit, to accept his
help instead Of having the proud Joy
OF giving help? Are we not liable to
Imagine al air CT superiority in him?
Our very self-respect renders US SEN
uitive, quick to be hurt. apt to imagine
that his prosperity has changed our
Friend for the worst. 1t may be pos
Uible that it has: which proves that he
never needed our friendship more. For
prosperity is the supreme test Of a
man. because its tendency is to ener-
vate and weaken; adversely rouses
and rallies al that Is strongest in us.
Selfshly, we like our friend to be
worse off than we are; to be in need
Of our better natures. The good things
cling to us: it is merely a perversion
of our better natures. The good things
In us may SO easily be wrongly en-
ployed. The true friendship, because
the more unselfsh, may be shown
when our friend does not appear to
need us, when he can give to us rath-
81 than we to him. It is not always
more blessed to give than to receive;
sometimes the position is reversed.
Besides which there are more ways OF
giving than one, and the prosperous
1riend may really be in sore want Of
our sympathy. our tender affection and
counsel; he may also long for our &C
Oeptance Of that which it will be
1oy@to him to expend upon US. To
u13Gs nobly IL q very Ane thing; It ID
N alually fne thing to accept nobly.
HIS easy to be true to our friend
yHhf he IL In trouble. when he u
duV1. whom others Az from him, when
otu<to despise and neglect him. The
aonannaa 70 such q call 10 one Of