Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-10-31

MARy'S SKIRT.
Mary had IL little skirt.
And 1t was built so tight
She had I" hire Il chambcrnlaid
To peel it off at night.
Thty had to carry her around
And lean her '.sainst the wall.
Because the skirt go closely fit
She could not walk at all.
She ate her meals off from, II shelf
Because she dared not sit
Down in II chair like other folks
For fcnr her skirt would split.
But Mary didn't kick ut all.
1T was just rs she'd wish:
She ouldn hop around tho house
Or wash or wipe a dish.
= ACCORDING TO UNCLE .ABNEIs
There ain't no Teller WHO kin be
moro polite than the one who has
been talkin' about YOU behind Your
back.
I never yet seen n practical joker
who could take ono gracefully him
self
Grandma Bibbins is beginning to
knit yarn mit.cns and wristlcts. which
is Il sure indication of u long hard
winter.
There amt nobuddy n this world
who is wiser than the postmaster In
Al small town. unless it is the tcle-
graph operator.
There amt no vacation that lasts as
long as 1t orter.
Every fcllcr's kid is tho greatest kid
that was ever born, and il YOU don't
believe it. ask him.
The best way I know of to die poor
Is tc git involved in a lawsuit over
:: line fence.
There is only one thing that is hard
81 thQn shAyip' tho hock nF yoI,r Norl
and that Is to disengage a sheet of
sticky fly paper from the bosom of
Scr trousers.
One of the cheapest ways to get a
reputation for great wealth Is to
stand in front OF Il swell cafe with a
toothptck in yer mouth.
Vaudeville Is just one burned imita-
tor after another.
Miss Lettie Perkins has been on the
stage for several years. but she has
II ain't the felier with the most
gold leaf ON his winders that gets
the best payin' law practice.
Most all OF Luke Fringle's sons have
gone to the bad. The first is II bur-
giur. the second is u three-card monte
sha rk. the third is In politics and the
fourth Is a lawyer.
u. Egbert Pcavy is saving cigaret
coupons to get Il oatmobile. He has
only got to have 6s9. SAG more and he
NJ" piouapIE St Tue OatlnoDIe III the
cigarets don't git him first.
IL is gettin' so Il Teller has got to
have something besides long hair TO
git ahead in the poetry business.
see by the papers an organ grind
or fcllcr down to New York has saved
certainly ought to know how to crank
II.
+, Hank Tumms believes in Fremont
tions. He had a p%remonition yester-
Gay morning that something %unfavor-
able was goin' to happen and it did.
A %travelin' nan bought u round of
drinks at the Golden Nugget and
Hank got there five minutes too late.
Grandpa Bibbins says he wants to
1'nd an honest lawyer to draw up his
will. but Hank Tumms says the
chances arc the old man will die In
testate.
Judgin' by u neighborhood there
aint going to be any race suicide
among the cat population.
A feller never knows Just how much
OF a Teller he is until he gifts al auto
mobile and starts to meetin' his
friends.
some fellers nave brain and others
wear gold trimmed eye glasses with
Windcr glass in 'em.
1t takes a long time to find some
people out. bu when YOU do there
amt no comeback.
Next to the Teller that gifts a hair
cut. massage and shampoo on sSatur-
day night. the canes cuss I know Is
the ono that sends your name to an
anti-fat concern.
a Teller who sits in u poker game
on u Pullman car with three strang- =
ers amt entitled to any sympathy.
rank Iuimnls says he Is glad his kid
was born In Canada. bekus he win
never have TO run for president of this
country.
The dollar watch has certainly put
q crimp In the holdup business.
Ine gal who can make a 81 hat look
ways try to do 1t afterwards.
feed. :" Aec
= You can always tell q cheap skate
IN spite Of his disguise.
RANK Tunlms says he will eat his
nAt II Wilson Is elected. 1t is a straw 4
nat n he will run 1t through u meat
ana eat 1t for breakfast food.
Judgan' by the sentiment in this
nelghborhood he is sure the prohibition !
party I gOin' to elect a president for
several years yet.
News are very scarce in our village
JUST now as tho sewin circle has ad-
3elirned and folks will now nave to
depend upon what, little they can get
H9lu- tho newspaper.
One OF the good Jobs on q sweltering
day 10 to sit for 10 or IL hours behind
n plate glass show window demonstrate
Ing . safety razor sharpener.
Anse hudson doesn't know whether
he Il going to have q blonde or q bru
notte stenOgrnpher. His wife hasn't
made up her mind yet. Anse has had
Hing Tmnms savs he n q ,non -