The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1912-09-26
Old HICKORY CHIPS.
A GsneFal Mixture Designated for the
Busy Reader.

, fa'loh without stomachs. It is JUS
as we'll to proceed with a reduction
, OF the cost of living.
t The Bull Moose candidate pro
ceeds on the theory that a man cal
: solve great public problems and a
the same time be one himself.
Travelling with Col. Roosevelt i
conducive to loss Of sleep.
The question Of intervention coult
be settled satisfactorily by sending
all the boneheads into Mexico.
When Chicago bride insists or
taking 50 pet dogs on her hone,
moon. it's ;ime for the young hus
band to learn how to bark.
1t is reported that Thonla A. Fdi
sen worked l22 hours out Of 124
an inventor Of Electric lights and
talking machines should not expect
much sleep.
Going to motorcycle race is more
exciting than going to funeral, for
one never knows who is to be the
corpse.
One wonders why some gifted
gentleman with white apron has
not invented drink called moose
milk"
After all, New York needs a pen
nant worse than does Chicago.
Meanwhile the persimmon season
is indefinitely postponed.
VI. Vedrines has pushed the speed
limit eff the earth.
MeXico's best friends are advising
it 70 be careful.
Gov. Wilson enjoys the distinction
OF being favorabIy regarded as Sc
cond choice by both republicans and
bull moosers.
In Portland, Gre, they strew-
ed roses in front Of Col. Roosevelt.
It viii be sadly recalled that Der
mark gave a somewhat similar per-
formance in honor Of I?r. Cook,
botn IaLt and Roosevelt are do
ing their best to assist Wilson in an
effort to prevent the democrats from
being oYerconfdent.
Typewriters tell no tales-but the
same cannot always be said Of steno-
gtaphers.
Sixty people were injured at an
Irish football game. They must play
80 on q side over there
Doe Cook charges that there is a
aorth pole trust. So that accounts
for the scarcity as we'll as the high
cost Of north poles.
Inhumane, British East Africa,
where the women refuse to wear
clothes, would be poor place for
struggling dressn1aker to loclte in.
President Taft may soon have to
appoint a commission to discover
whether Maine was blown up from
the inside or the outside.
Some wise promoters have hecn
selling for S25 g scheme to lower the
cost Of living. and it did-for them;
they are getting free meals in Ohio
State prison.
When kighwaymen bent on rob-
bing Kansas woman accidentally |
t;ckled her she laughed so much that !
hey fed ia terror, which only goes
TO show shat laughter is better than
tears any day.
With so many candidates for Sen
ator in New Jersey the only solution
that is suggested is that they form
themselves into. a base ball nine ard
play the champions.
The authorities of New York have
bought a farm, where tramps will
be reiuvenated. That's the stuff.
We must keep our tramps up to the
at any cost. =
The princess who remarked that
women are too thin, due
to hurrying, at least had grace
enough not to add, after the men, -
A number of Denver officials have
been indicted, showing that those
western cities still try to keep up
their petty rivalry with New York.
It Judge Beers is elected head OF
the G. A. r. it will be a neat little
rib,te to the national beverage.
A Boston Dispatch states that the
oos and feet of women are getting
bigger, thus indicating that the bur
|eso,1e season is very active IN tnaV
town.