Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-09-05

cisterns.
Henry living sent to California for
some purnkin seeds last spring INC it
was a little late i'm coming, SO the larg-
est pumpkin he could raise this year
weighed only 81 pounls. 1t is a shame
Henry couldn't have obtained the seed
earlier so the pumpkin could have had
its full growth.
There are so many new devices on
Anse Frisby's new oatmobile that, when
the engine gets to running the devices
II amt got enough power left to run
the car.
Outside of runnin' a lighthouse, the
most thankless job we know of is
penn proofreader on a Russian news
| paper.
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT.
There are 1888 varieties of oil
stoves that won't smell-in the adver-
tisements.
a man with a large family who is
working on a salary does not have
to seek an investment. They come to
him.
A new patent mousetrap is invented
In this country every three minutes.
English is a universal language now
excepting in England and the United
States.
There are s.7e3,524 Reuse to give
the wife for getting home late and not
one good one.
If the energy wasted by. stenog-
messed it would drive all the railroad
trains in this country and 10 in Cam
ada.
THE FLIES.
with apologies to Egar Allen Poe.)
Hear the buzzing of the flies
Pesky flies
AS they seem to drop by millions from
the skies.
Every one is a newcomer
Who has never buzzed before,
Who has come to spend the summer
And to put us on the unlme
With his deadly germs galore
That he brings in at our door.
You will hasten with the swatter If
you're anywhere near wise.
Swat the flies. flies, flies, flies,
Flies, flies, flies
Swat 'em early, swat 'em often-swat
the flies.
oh, the docs who specialize
On the flies
Have already sounded many warning
cries.
One fly now will mean a million
yes. a million, bye and bye.
Later on twill mean a billion.
Then, still later on, a trillion,
And that is the reason why
1t is certain o n l
Must go out and buy a swatter and
nus take some exercise.
Swat the flies, flies, flies. flies,
Swat 'em early. Swat 'em often
swat the flies.
THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY.
You know perfectly we'll that 1
can't go to the reception, Lycurgus, 1
haven't got a thing to wear"
oh, Percival, Mrs. Jones has got
the loveliest tea wagon and l can get
one exactly like it for $57."
Huh! / don't like to take no pos
sible interest in baseball and l get
tired of hearin' about it. Say, what's
the scorer"
Gosh. 1 hate them automobiles. 1
never had money enough to buy one
myself"
my kid said the cutest thing the
other day. He's either going to be a
comedian or a humorist when he
grows up"
Maria, / never saw business so bad
as it is at present. You can't have a
limousine this year.
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.
No Teller can be more genial tina
the n who is o to touch you for
a small loan.
A confirmed loafer is always get
tim the worst of it" in this world.
Clothes don't make the man, but the
Teller with his pants pressed n his
shoes polished stands the best show
of gettin' h big job.
II q Teller wants to find out Just
how small he really is all he has to
do is to look over a nap of the world
and try to find the village he lives in.
Outside OF the musical critics who
can't make music, about the most nu-
merous thing in this country is the
literary expert who can't get anything
published.
Hank Purdy's wife says she never
misses him. She must be able to throw
straighter than most wimmen.
1t seems as though when a Teller
hasn't got anything else to do he gets
up a new brand of toothpaste.
I always like to hear a Teller brag
that he is a self-made mar, for then
l know that nobody else is to blame.
The chief smoke nuisance is the wise
gink who dispenses good advice in the
smoking compartment OF the chair car.
Saratoga chips should be seen and not
heard.
A week in the big league is worth
two in the bush.
In matrimony he who hesitates is
bossed.
In these days Of bridge whist it is
a wise child that knows it's own
mother.
It is purity hard to surprise a good
poker player. no matter what hap
pens.
There is never much use in trying
to scrare acquaintance with a Teller
VINO has got a new automobile.
There amt a quick lunch fiend in
this country who has got enough
strength Of mind to begin eating q
piece OF pine anywhere but at the