Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-05-02
MOVLToN.

u!"'iu'ld fufuN. VINO mas been
failing rapidly for ninc years, and is
at present i'm a very eeble state of
Iealth. is able to do only light work
now and has accepted a lucrative posi-
non running il gang saw down to Anne
Hilliker's mill.
Miss Amy Pringlc. our village milli-
Nor, mas gone to the city to look over
the new spring styles and find out
whether she dares spring 'em here.
a travelling gentleman from lsa-
cile. WIS, is registered at the Huttel
li~ickeyNille. He represents IA safety
razor concern and ought to do real
well i'm this town. where the boys
shave every other leap year.
An nptllmistical looking gent blowed
lnto this town the other lay with a
line OF hymn books i'm which he hoped
to interest the deacons of the Hard
shell church. After selling EN- an or
der ne entertained 'eln i'm his room at
the huttell and left town that night
with $237. three pairs of pants. seven
pairs of link cuff buttons. two derby
hats. one fancy silk vest and three
watches and chains. Deacon Pringle
says he believes that hymn books are
sort of Il side line With that gent. for
when he got to Juggling the paste
boards ne acted like a regular gol dunn
silcker. The hymn books have not yet
arrived by express as promised.
Elmer Jones. who left here Il week
"S" aScepl "a very lucrative ana
permanent position i'm Chicago. has
returned. He says that his work was
so good that 1t made all of the other
employees Jealous. and i'm order to-
prevent Il general strike he threw up
the job and came home. Elmer will
continue to canvass for crayon por-
traits will board with his father.
Elmer says there amt no place like
home and SO far as our town is
concerned he is substantially cor
rect.
Anse Frisby's wife went downtown
and got her hair done up by a hair
dresser. and when She came home
Anse treated her real polite, thinkin'
She was some strange woman.
The Teller that sets a good example
by shovelin' the nov off his walk
every morning whether it needs it or
certainly is a pest to live next to.
A Teller had his head stickin' out
of Il winder in the smoker of No. IL
when she FASTENED through our viii
lage and broke the mail catcher into
smithercens. AS a result this town has
sent out no mail for four DAYS; He
must nave been one OF those hard
headed business men we hear so
much about.
Every time Grandma Purdy chews
with her new teeth they click SO it
sounds as though somebody was shut
tiIl IIe Edle Out III 'front.' OF Jne mousse.
What has become OF the old gentle
man who used to chaw tobacker in
church.
There never was a time in the history
of this world when some Teller wasn't
just bou to solve the problem of per-
petual motion.
Hank Frisby doesn't drink a drop
now. He has sent away and got some
of those new tangled jag tablets which
you carry In the vest pocket. Every
one has the potency of a three finger
drink of Old Moonshine. and 10 of 'em
will land IA Teller in the patrol wagon
without fail. Down with the drink
evil" says Hank. It'll eat mine.' Hank
went to church perfectly sober last
Sunday morning and after two tablets
ne rose and wanted to bet the preacher
~ That the Boston team would win the
National league penant this year.
Miss Euphrenia Perkins. our poetess
OF passion. is writin' q novel entitled,
Fair, But False" Elmer Jones says
he bets the plot revolves around a blond
switch.
My idea of the height of unconscious
humor Is home made obituary poetry.
1t Is getting so 1T is possible to buy
almost anything i'm a drug store. now
adays. e%xceptin' drugs.
There is only one Teller smaller than
n Dne who leaves the punctuation
marks out of his letters to save ink,
and he is the Teller who borrows his
neighbours newspaper.