Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-07-11
A
DIAGNOSIS
8, WILLIAM C. ERNST

In mining camp IN Colorado called
Iimdandy. there being ma dortor. the
Deopir lived In state of anxiety
When any one got sick ihrrss ainut the
patient did MT know what To do In
The premises. ana there WIS no one
nn whom To throw Tie responsible
uy. committee WAS sent over 70
Hutton. where there We're two doctors.
with orders to Try To persuade one Of
them to practice in Jindandy
DIR. Farmecute was induced TO take
a new field especially as Dr. Thorax.
the other practitioner bothered him
by disputing bis diagnosis and treat
ment In every case. II Farmecute said
man had typhoid fever Thorax de
clared he had the mumps. II Farme-
cute gave sedative Thorax sneered
and said that he needed q stimulant
Therefore DR.. Farmecute accepted the
new field with the proviso that II his
diagnosis or treatment were ques-
toned by any one and be shot the
sobjector he was not to be prosecuted.
The committee accepted the condition.
and the doctor hung out his shingIe In
Jimdandy.
There had been but half a dozen
cases Of illness In the town in a year.
though they had been worrying ones
to those who tsok care OF the patients
The hanging out OF a doctors sign
Seemed to have a peculiar effect on the
inhabitants While It had not occur.
red to-them before that there was any.
thing the matter with them. now every
person who passed the doctors office
and read his sign felt compelled to
consult him. But woe betide any one
who Sentured to disagree with him as
to the disease FROM which the patient
suffered or the treatment. One morn.
ing Tim Hickson was passing the doc
tors office when Jim Ferguson came
crashing through the door,. forwarded
by the toe of the doctors boot
Whats up. Jimg' asked dickson.
Why. consulted the doctor for
sore throat, and he told me the trouble
was I'm the stomach said could eat
well enough il could get anything
down. but | couldn't swallow, where
upon he hustled me out"
Served you right" said Hickson.
The doctor came here. with the stipu-
lation that be was not to be disputed
professionally :" -
IF that's so how am to get even
with himr
We'll. If you want to get revenge
you'd better tackle him on some other
subject II you insist on throat trouble
when he says your stomach's wrong
and ne shoots you he's not to be pun
iShed"
Ferguson passed Oh. rubbing his
bruises and trying to think Of q way
to get even With the doctor II was
evident that in professional way
Furmecute had the people OF Jinldandy
with him. In any fracas In that line J
they would favor him and the result /
would be to the discredit. OF his pa |
tent Ferguson brooded over his
treatment. but his throat got well OF
itself
One day he went back to the doc
tors ottice-this time he had his gun
with hin-and said:
Doctor. I'm sick. reckon I'm go
ing to die"
Where does the trouble lieY'
.Oh. | don't know. I'm no diagnoser.
Il
That's for you to lind out. "
Il didn't mean that ! WANT you to
tell me what's the matter with you
want to know your symptoms"
II haven't any symptoms"
Then you haven't any disease.
Yes. have" |ss
The doctor had turned away. and |
when be saw the patient again Fer
guson was looking at him from be-
hind the muzzle Of "A revolver. His /
own gun was in a drawer In his med
icine case but there was no oppOrtu-