Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-12-09
guest of
Atlanta
Wednesday.
9aSS9ass
BY ALPHoNsE DE RIcEUR


Sir Thomas Upton, the man who put
the sell in Ceylon, is to be in our midst
tomorrow, and my phone has been so
busy with questions as to etiquette in
the matter of noblemen and near no
blemen that I've decided to publish the
official rules
Atlanta folk get on very well with
Ty Cobb, and made no bad breaks when
Roosevelt and Taft came down. but IT
has been a long time since a sir paid
us visit and lot Of men who can
devour their way straight through a
nine -course dinner and make the knives
and forks come out even without put
ting them inside their opera vests are
in doubt about whether to call our
guest of honor Colonel" Mr. Sir Lip
ton or plain TON, old man"
But it isn't difficult to learn how to
treat sir. 1t is best to adhere to
the customs of the country in this re-
spect. In Tennessee one says. Well.
it's about my time of day How about
you?" In Kentucky they say Colonel,
YOU and gen'ral will have another
won't you? I've ordered EN-" And in
Atlanta you just step up boldly and
say I've ordered a book full of drink
tickets on every club in town. Come
on Sir Tommy and name your choice
One of Natures NobIemen.
But do notch, do not, under any
circumstances grow facetious and say
Sir Thomas, won't you sample u bit
of cold tea >"
one must never talk shop you know.
oh, no! 1t really isn't done But any
way that's the way to treat noble
man. from king down to jack They're
ali gentlemen of capacity.
Not that Sir Thomas is exactly a
nobleman. except one of natures va
riety, which we all are. except the man
who took my umbrella Saturday night,
and ! wouldn't say he is crooked, but
III bet the cigars he could hide be-
hind the handle, which was made es-
peCialiy to hang over bars. But Sir
Thomas is a square sport and good
loser which he ought to be. having had
ten years or more steady practice
A Knight for Every Day.
Sir Thomas isn't exactly a nobleman
in the British sense of the word. No
blemen originated when William the
Conqucror came across the channel
with ninety million men, according to
the family trees of present generations
whose folks were with William.
No, Thomas Upton was just plain
red-headed hishman who started in
the tea business, discovered advertis-
ing, became a millionaire and was hon
ored by his country
When a man does that over here we
call him a trust, draw cartoons of him.
fine him $29,O00,o00 and let him take
what he wants out of our weekly pay
and hand us back the envelope
But in England they make him a
knight which pleases him Just as much
and costs the consumer less. When a
man is made a h&ght in England they
call him sir When he makes a
night of it in Atlanta they call him
down. 1t seems there ought to be some
connection between those statements,
but IT'S hard to figure out.
Raronet7 Little Baron.
Anyway Mr. r. }. Upton. teas and
spices, became Sir Thomas. Afterward,
when he found there were SO many
knights up and down Piccadlly that
they had To have special traffic ordi-
nances, Sir Thomas went back To the
late queen, registered protest ana
was made harouot baIonet is "a
little baron LIS like hgIptr nm ta. MAJ,