The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-12-08

HERALD, SUNDAY, DECEl scene of my early conflicts. My pill srimage is ended Below me Hes the plain of Armageddon. My old eyes a-e dim. but I seem to see figures moving about
 He was interru pted by noise of hoof beats and in galloped a member, rep resenting Senator Jonathan Bourne, dressed as a war correspondent.
 He halted in front of Saul and asked 1 him who he was and Saul replied: T am Saul a member of the Armaged- don battlefield commission" Bourne asked him who appointed him, Roosevelt or Taft, to which Saul asked: "Who are they and who are l you?' Bourne replied: T am Jonathan Bourne. Jr., independent, progressive, democrat. republican, and war corres- pondent for LaFollettets weekly"
 A chatter of battle was heard and ! Champ Clark on a stick horse and dressed as a war correspondent came rushing in. He announced that he had corresponded for the "Commoner' and asked Saul what was his occupation. | to which Saul replied: "I am king and have stood many times al Arma- geddon.'
 l Champ Clark at once wished to en- gage him to report the battle Of Ar ma geddon for the "Commoner,' but Saul replied that h. did not under stand, to which Clark answered: No body does. You answer questions and | I'll do the rest"
 l He then wanted 10 find out what | Sauls name was, and was told that his name was Saul. Clark then wanted him to take first name. and while Saul liked Theodore, Clark insisted that f. .l,- l. Ga After some questions as to his pol tiles, Saul replied: T have no poll itics."
 Then Clark declared that he was no king and that he must be either Sem ator John D. Works, Charles R. Crane or Willis M. Moore But Saul would have none of these and Clark then said: You must be the other member of the LaFollette party
 Meanwhile member dressed as Sen ator Henry Cabot Lodge came Sallop- ing in and announced that he was the correspondent for the Munsey newspa- pers.
 Saul asked him How the battle goes2" and Lodge replied: "Field Mar shall Dixon has moved down Field Marshal McCombs with q harvesting machine and McCombs poured hot statement into Field Marshall Hilles, and Hillcs had hit Dixon with some ma jority claim"
 Perkins Writes Check But Saul could not understand this language and amid the sound of bat tie Clifford Pinchot, dressed as q naval midshlpmate, came galloping in. He declared that he had come because General Perkins needed ammunition and he was searching for fountain pen to write a check with. He induced Saul 10 view the battlefield through his opera glasses, but saul got them with the big end to his eyes and declared that he saw a large stout man pour ing standard oil on the troubled wa ters Pinchot declared that the mon was Boies Penrose.
 But how small he seems when he gets nearer" said Saul
 "Pinchot replied: You don't look through the glasses that way until af- ter November g."
 Then Saul declared that the battle was raging fiercelv and that he saw a man on big horse.
 When told that 1t was not horse but a bull moose, Saul asked: Who are the two men hanging on his flank? and was told: They are Adam Bede and John Harlan. the truth tellers."
 Marse Henry Arrives Henry Watterson, another war cor respondent. then made his appearance in the little group and declared that he was correspondent for Hearsts magazine. When asked for news from the battlefield he replied that when he left the democrats Of the House were trying to cut down the tariff sched- ules and the carnage was frightfui Then Saul, looking over the battleheld, described what he sew as follows; "The general on the antlered animal dashes toward the large general seat ed on the putting green. Many men with strange weapons follow the bull moose"
 They are the tennis cabinet ex- plained one of the correspondents.
 "There is a man on the side lines sitting on a money chest"
 That is Thomas F, Ryan, explained Clark and when asked why he sat there idle it was explained that he was waiting for tho battle to end So he could settle all the unpaid bills of the campaign.
 The man who is shouting and wav- ing his arms like a dervish was de- clared to be Joseph Dixon, practicihg for his appearance before the Clapp committee and that the nine men sur rounding the big man were the menu | berS of the Id1t cdGlllel anu "eie wal ing to go into the tattle just after It was over.
 Saul wanted to know who was the man rushing back and forth between the cabinet group ard the bull moose. He was told that it was senator Ali bert Cummins, who was trying to find which side he was on.
 | Saul declared that the dawn was br eaking. but was told that it was only l I Han Lewis and his whiskers appear ing over the hillside and that the nlaa whom he thought Was an engine spurt- ,ng fire and smoke was only Gov. Hiram Johnson of California.
 suddenly Saul who was gazing in- | tentlv on the battlefield, declared that he saw Joan of Are but he was in- stantly told that sse was Albert J. Beveridge, disguised as Mary of the Vineciaa, Cottage" Watterson then de- clared that the bull moose was trying 1 Ia break the solid south and ne was fold thar he would not do it for he | would orIy break Perkins and Munse%. saul wanted to know who the man in a can and gown was who was trying to hold A council, of war and he was told l that 1t was not a council of war but a meeting of the faculty.
 Fun at Its Height
 Bourne declared that they were sing ing on the battlefield and that Bill Finn was leading his forces, singing i"Onward Christian Soldiers, and Champ Clark explained'
 "The Penrose legion is singing, too
 Their song was according to Henry raFrfa