The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-08
A DRY GOODS
COURTSHIP
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1912, by Associated Lit
erary Press.

Aunt Sally Warner, as she was ia
miliarly called by everybody, wanted
new calico dress, and she went ia
Smiths dry goods store In the village
Of Clyde to price around and beat
down and finally pay the price OF
cents a yard. She was inspecting pat
terms when Uncle Silas Frisbie came
in. When they had greeted each other
she turned her back to the calico and
said
Uncle SIIas, you know have had
three husbands"
II know it's three or four or five or
along there somewhere, Pears to me
you spend most of your time getting
married aud burying husbands"
"Silas," she says In tones Of conf
dence, 1--WE made mistakes In my three
marriages, and don't want to make
one IN my fourth, ! don't admit that
thsre'l be a fourth, but IL | should
happen to decide to marry ag'in don't
want to be taken in. How is wilder
woman to judge MANI"
well. now, il was thinking Of mar
rying ag'in, which ! haln't, as I've got
an old woman ana i've young uns, I'd
first hunt around for soft pine shlngle
Then I'd sharpen up my jackknife and
sit down by my Lonesome 10 some place
where no durned dog or calf was likely
TO come roofing around, and then I'd
white and think and think and whit
tie, Mebhe I'd whittle and think for II
whole week, but when got through
I'd know that was correct"
but | can't white"
mo. but you can knit, and that's just
as good, Who Is the Teller who is
sparkling you this timeT
ITS a man named Lemuel Johnston,
and he's about fifty years old"
And what have you made up your
mind about HING
II haven't made 1t up at all. That's
what I'm asking your advice for"
81 see Well. Ill do the best can
If | was a wilder woman and a man
come along and appeared to have de
signs agln me Id get out my knitting
and watch him as he talked, and I'd
remember certain things-to wit
namely,
"A man who sits cross legged most
Of the time is purity certain to be lazy
A mau who stands around with his
hands in his pockets will kick like a
steer If dinner isn't ready on the mint
"'rhe man who comes counting and
rings in poetry is going to raise row
after marriage If his wife don't like fat
pork
"The man who Is narrow between
the eyes and carries a sharp nose has
q wldder's possessions figured to a
cent.
'The man who signs and shakes his
head IN mOurnful way and wishes he
could do more for the heather in Al
RIGA is going to keep nightly close tab
on your pin money after marriage.
a freckled face man is generally
cOntented man, but whether cOntented
with his lot or to let his wife build
the fire in the morning Is thing you
have got to find out later on.
"There are men who come counting
who are soft spoken and move about
like cat, After marriage they will
yell at the oxen so as to be heard a
mile away.
"The bOisterOus man Is apt to be
hearty and good natured, but he will
wake the baby up every time he comes
into the house and let all the family
quarrels be known all over the neigh,
borhOOd.
"a man who sits and rubs his hands
and smiles and uses precise language Is
thinking how much tea and coffee he
will allow you to measure out for
drawing after marriage.
"A scowl between a mans eyes
means concentration Of thought, but
the trouble is that you don't know
what he has concentrated OIL. 1t may
be love, and it may be speculation.
"a wilder woman in sizing up
Teller who has come sparkling should
take a good look at his mouth. II It
Is unusually wide his talk will never
go much beyond cabbages, but II it's
womans mouth he'll be a good hand
at saying cutting things. II 1t droops
at the corners he considers himself a
sort of a martyr and III used by the
world, and whenever the bread is
heavy or the potatoes not quite done
he's going to break out.
"Then there's one more sort Of man.
He's the chap that boldly knocks on