Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11

TIA oOOuC AAllA dkSIlCICS
properly: but he said I would get used
TO the odor presently. and in time come
10 iove IT and long for it when I was
away from 1t. I told him that doubtless
he was right, but that I thought it
would do me good to go away before
never could see a joke. and 1t was
wasted on him. He walked me right
OUT 70 the swamp and stood there an
hour, Just watching the water bubble
up. 1t seemed to do him good.
There was no shanty in the village
good enough for our office, SO that aft
ernoOn we bought a vacant lot next to
the postoffice for IS. and arranged to
have a building put up for our use;
and then. as there was nothing else for
us to do until the next train came
along. Perkins sat around thinking. And
something always happened when Per-
kins thought.
In less than an hour Perkins set off
10 n the mayor n the cOuncilmen
and a notary public. He had a great
! idea.
They had a park in Gloubus-a full
block of weeds and rank growth-and
Perkins showed the mayor what a dis
grace tina park was to a town of the
size and beauty of Glaubus. He said
there ought to be a fountain and walks
and benches where people could sit in
the evenings. The mayor allowed that
was 80. but didn't see where the cash
was to come from.
Perkins told him. Here we are, he
said. w public spirited men come
over from Chicago to bottle up the old
skunk spring. and make Glaubus FAM
ous. Glaubu was to be our nome and
already we had contracted for a
beautiful one-story building. with a
two stories. If Glaubus treated US
right. we would treat Glaubus right.
Didn't the mayor want to help along
the city?
The mayor certainly did. If he
didn't have to pay out nothin'.
All right. then, Perkins said. there
was that old Skunk swamp. We We're
going to bottle up a lot of water that
came out of the spring and ship 1T
away: and that would help to clean
the air. for the less water the less
smell. All Perkins wanted was to have
those 40 acres of swamp that we owned
plotted as town lots, and taken in as
company's addition to the town of
Glaubus. 1t would cost the village
nothing; and, as fast as Perkins got rid
of the lots:s the village could assess
taxes on them, and the taxes would pay
for the park.
but what that was a square deal. so
they called a special meeting right
there: and in half an hour we had the
whole thing under way.
But, Perky" l said. when we were
on the train hurrying back to Chicago.
how are you going to sell those lots?
They are nothing but mud and water.
n no sane man would ever think of
paying money for them. Why, If the
lote next the p%ostoffice is worth IS.
those lots a mile away from it. and 10
feet deep in mud. wouldn't be worth
/ fwN CONNER ennfon ~
Self" said Perkins. sticking his
hands deep into the pockets of his cele-
brated "Baffin Bay" pants. 'Sell?"
Who wan's to sell? Well give 'em
away! What does the public want?
Something for nothing! What does it
'em real estate for nothing! A lot in
the Glaubus Land and Improvement
company's addition to the town Of
Glaubus free for 10 labels soaked from
IO-no-to-thing -um-hob water bottles.
Send In your labels. and get a real
n Perkins pays h freight"
Did 1t go? Does anything that Per-
kim the Great puts his soul into go?
1t went with a rush. We looked up the
rheumatism statistics of the United
States. and wherever there was q rheu-
fences We sent circulars and follow
up letters. and advertised in local and
county papers. We shipped the water
by single demijohns at first, and then
a half dozen crates. and then in car
lots. We established depots in the big
advertising on a big scale. Wherever
man met mar the catchwords, Per-
kins pays the freight" were banded to
and fro. How can you afford a new
hat?" "Oh. Perkins pays the freight'!"
The comic papers made jokes about
If tho d0tIV VfoVc vn0Ao n0Mfnnro
about 1t. no vaudeville sketch was
complete without a reference to Per-
ktns paying the freight, n the comic
opera hit of the year was the one in
which six jolly girls clinked champagne
glasses while singing the song ending:
To us no pleasure lost is.
And we go q merry gait
We don't care what the cost Is,
For Perkins pays h freight.
And u lots in - Glaubus Land
n Improvement company's addition
to the town Of Glaubus? We began by
giving full sized dwelling house lots.
Then we cut it Town to business lot
size: and. as the labels kept pouring
In we reduced the lots to cemetery size.
We had lot owners in Alaska, Mexico
and the Philippines: and the village OF
Glaubus fixed up it's park, and even
paved the main street with taxes.
Whenever q lot owner refused to. pay
his taxes the deed was Cancelled: and
we split the lot up into smaller lots
and distributed them to new label saw
era.
We also sent agents to organize
rheumatism clubs In the large cities.
That was Perkins greatest idea, but
It vas too great.
One morning az Perkins ri opening
the mail. ne paused with . letter open
before him mi let his Jaw drop. !
walked over. and laid my hand ON his
shoulder.
what IL 1t. Perky?" I asked.
He lay back inshis chair, and Eazed