The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1912-01-04
Grandma Hardin S
Tooth


Copyright. 1911. by Associated Lit
erary Press.


age of forty-five they were still all
there. and she was capable of masti-
! eating the toughest meat Then two
things happened. She lost her hus-
| band and her teeth began to decay At
/ fifty she had only one tooth left.
You may think that had grandma
been ever so poor. which she wasn't,
she would have tried hard to save her
teeth She was financially able to do
this or to have artificial ones supplied,
4 but she was eccentric.
1 Grandma could have lived along on
the property left her by Hardin, but
luck came her way. A sister died and
left her $4,000 in cash. She had
brothers and sisters and nephews and
nieces, and all lived in and around a
/ village.
I'm going to break up housekeeping
and board around among you she
said Il shall pay my board. None of
you will get any of my money till my
death, and then it will he divided up
according TO the way think best.
Now. then, why should those rela-
tiyes, and with them "A large number
of the villagers. have concerned them
selves about grandma's sole surviving
tooth? 1t was there and doing bust
ness. One lone tooth in a mouth is not
much of an ornament. but grandma
was not proud Almost the first ques-
| ton asked her when she came among
her relatives and strange people was
why she didn't have that tooth yanked
out and a false set put IN. For i've
long years that question was asked al
most daily, and no one was exactly
satisfied with the answer.
We'll. that has been good tooth TO
me, and | don't want to 20 back on II
at the end. can chew everything
with it except a rind of pork. and
rinds amt healthy anyhow
One of her brothers got 1t into his
head that grandma was too stingy TO
buy false teeth. and be generously or
fered to foot the bill. sister offered
TO take her 10 the city free OF cost.
and another brother brought a dentist
10 the house and said the plates must
be of gold.
NO; we'll let 1t go just as 1t Is, was
the reply Il can't expect TO be purity
at my age, and | haven't got the least
mite of vanity about me-"
One woman went so far as to doubt
IL a person with only one tooth could
20 to heaven. Grandma replied that
4 as an angel she expected TO be supplied
4 a. INT ha m a tfpr
began to worry her. 10 heaven she
surely wanted to go when her time
came. and she didn't want that tooth
to keep her out. and one day she
sought the minister and asked his ad-
vice. He had been posted in advance
but he couldn't deceive her. He
thought she ought to get false teeth.
but the most he would say in the case
was that he had never heard OF any
connection between the soul aud the
teeth. There might be. but he had
not come across It."
well. I'll take chance on i" re
piled grandma. considerably relieved.
Any doctor will say right Off hand
that bad teeth or lack of teeth Is
bad for the stomach. About seven diff
ferent doctors were paid to drop in
and tell Grandma Hardin so. They
made 1t extra strong in her case, They
talked Of fiatulency. indigestion bill
lousness and all that, but the old lady
only laughed at them and replied:
LANDS save you, but have never
had one of them ailments in my life.
and I'm too old to begin now"
1t was hoped by the villagers that
grandma would leave money for a
church bell. library and fund to
drain large marsh. 1t was hoped by
her relatives that they would get every
cent of it. though there were no hard
feelings about It. When the good old
woman finally died she had a large
funeral, and there was an amicable
gathering to hear her will read After
the usual preface 1t started Off with:
ITO each of the seven doctors who
have advised me to have my tooth out
leave 81 TO help them study up on
dentistry.
II leave no bell TO any church. II a
OUTlSlldu eau ten WHEN IL . tinS "
go to meeting let him stay home.
II leave no money to drain the
marsh. It's been there fifty years.
and the people ought to have got used
to 1t.
81 leave no money for public IL
brary. The men haven't time to read.
and the women have housework TO do.
ITO Parson Williams leave the
sum of 500. that he may look further
into the subject of the soul and the
tooth.
ITO each of my brothers and sisters
the sum of $500, this being the num-
Der of times. as near as can estimate
to date. that they have asked me to
have my tooth drawn.
ITO Mrs Martha Stebbins. who said
looked like an old cow. the sum of
$50. to be used to straighten her cross
eyes.
ITO Miss Helen Davis, my niece.
who has never once mentioned my
tooth nor attempted 10 advise or
eajole. all the rest OF MY estate. real
and personal. and may she go through
life minding her own business in the
same sensible way"
That was the will. and Il held good.
and should a stranger with only one
o. ali III faN Nfrr