Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-05-26
Chicago Press Club Holds Bur-
Iesque Convention.
ALL CANDIDATES PRESENT
Those of Both Parties Are Repre-
scented on the Stage.
BREAKS UP IN NEAR RIOT
Taft. Roosevelt and La Toilette In
Tie, Each Receiving
$50 Votes.

CHICAGO. MAY 25-The Chicago Press
Club tonight "scooped'' the republican
party by holding the national convention
almost a month In advance of the set
time for II. The convention was held in
downtown theater before a large audi
ence
Taft Roosevelt, La Toilette, Cannon,
Champ Clark. Wilson, Hearst and even
Clark's celebrated ''houn' dawg' were on
the stage. About $50 persons took part
in the performance. The burlesque was
in one act. 1t having been announced that
the club would present in one act the
many screaming acts of the political
leaders of the day"
The curtain rose on a convention scene
with the temporary chairman, newspaper
men, telegraph operators and several
delegations in their places. A few sec
onds later the New York delegation en-
tered. 1t carried banners inscribed Jim
Jeffries Thought So, Too. and We Are
For Big Built Aft" The lone Roosevelt
delegate was tied and hlindfolded.
Roosevelt. clad in a cowboy outfit. fol-
lowed quickly. After exclaiming liars.
he threw his hat into the audience. Then
he described a chalk ring on the stage
and threw another hat into 1T. In snappy
sentences he explained he was not a
candidate for the nomination and that If
he accepted Ii he would have to force
himself to do so.
Il have gone all over the country try
ing to stop this movement he declared
Platform of La Toilette.
Roosevelt having retired. La Toilette
and the Wisconsin delegation appeared.
After kicking Roosevelt's hat out of the
ring. La Toilette announced his platform,
bearing greatly on the Wisconsin income
tax. which. he declared. gave men with
large families large tax exemptions
IF man has twelve children Roose-
welt pays him a compliment; La Fol-
lette pays him bonus said the
speaker.
\ message arrived for Roosevelt and
upon being PACED he decided he had
been nominated, so he re-entered the
convention and began to thank its
members for the great honor they had
thrust upon him. Informed of his
error. he replaced his hat in the ring
and then departed.
Amid great disorder Cannon rushed
into the convention, pushed the tenn
porary chairman from the platform
and took up the Savel
We must have harmony" he shouted,
even If we have to fight for it
The Ohio delegation arrived with Presi-
dent Taft. He gave Roosevelt's hat the
customary kick and made speech.
Il am against the recall he said. Il
am especially opposed to the recall of
President after he is out. I find moth
ing In the Constitution about this out
agin', in agin', business, and the Consti
tuition must be preserved. i don't want
to move. i hope every man who had to
move May ] will vote for me-
Clark and His "Dawg."
Champ Clark and his "dawg' followed
the next arrivals. the divided Missouri
delegation. The dog kicked the hat from
the ring and for the insult suffered sew
eral kicks from Roosevelt, who replaced
the hat Inquiry as TO what Clark was
doing in a republican convention brought
the reply that he wanted to obtain some
pointers from the Roosevelt faction on
how to run the Baltimore gathering.
Both Gov. Wilson and Hearst, who ap-
peared after Clark knocked the hat out
of the ring with the result that Roose-
Welt first glued IL down and later put a
brick under 1t. Eventually. Taft kicked
the brick.
While the nominating speeches We're
being made a militant Suffragette storm
ed the convention and began to assail the
various politicians present. She took
Taft TO task for never having written any
Dear Maria" letters: Roosevelt because
lie wanted the hand that rocked the
cradle 10 work overtime: La Toilette for
his hair. which, she alleged, was false
Clark for calling himself Speaker of the
House in defiance of the well known fact
1A"tt1 q Always mas Deel the right
ful owner of that title; Wilson for wear
ing q cap and gown, thus robbng woman
Of her rights, and Hearst for having as
serted he was a great editor, although
many OF his columns have been filed by
woman writer's.
The suffragette placed in nomination a
newspaper woman, who gives advice to
sentimental people regarding affairs of
The heart. The speaker declared her
candidate had exposed more crooked men
than the Sherman law.
The vote on Taft, Roosevelt and La
Toilette resulted in a tie. each receiving
''-'3 votes. Cannon announced that the
man whose friends made the most noise
would be declared the nominee. In the
bedlam which followed all of the dele
gates shouted for all of the candidates
anu the convention was adjourned with
out choice having been expressed