Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1912-08-16
"what 4 beautiful name

Tor q shtation."
Ashton announced that there was
something beautifuller still on the
platform-"Oh, a peach!-a nectarine!
and she's getting on this train"
Even Doctor Temple declared that
Dhe was a dear lite thing, wasn't
Ihe?
Wellington pushed him aside, say.
Ing: Stand back Doc. and let me
zee; l have a keen sense Of beautiful"
BE careful" cried the doctor,
the'll fall out Of the window"
mot out of that window" Ashton
sagely observed. seeing the bulk Of
Wellington. As the train started of
again. Little Jimmie distributed alco-
holic smiles to the Green Riverers on
the platform and called out:
Goodbye, everybody. You're all
bslootly-ow- owl" He clapped his
hand to his eye and crawled back into
the car, groaning with pain.
Whats the matter?" said Wedge
wood. Got something in your eye?"
NO. you blamed fool. I'm trying to
look through my thumb"
Poor fellow!" sympathized Doctor
Temple, "itS cinder!"
"A cinder! It's at leasht ton Of
COAL"
Il say. old boy. let me have peek"
said Wedgewood. screwing in his mon
pcle and peering into the depths Of
Wellington's eye. Il can't see bally
thing"
"Of course not, with that binder
on" growled the miserable wretch.
weeping in spite of himself and rub
bling his smarting orb.
Don't rub that eye" Ashton coun-
selled, rub the other eye"
Its my eye; I'll rub 1t If want to.
Get me doctor, somebody. I'm
lying"
Here's Doctor Temple" said Ash
on, right on the job" Wellington
turned to the old clergyman with pa
:hetic trust, and the deceiver writhed
N his disguise. The best he could
think of was: "Will somebody lend
me lead pencil?"
What for?" said Wellington. un-
easily
Il am going to roll your upper lid
up on it," said the Doctor.
"Oh, no, you're not" said the pa
.ient. "You can roll your own lids!"
Then the conductor, still another
conductor, wandered on the scene and
asked as if it were not world-mpor-
tant matter: whats the matter
pick up cinder?"
Eyes. Perhaps you can get it out"
he alleged doctor appealed.
The conductor nodded: The best
way is this-take hold Of the wink
ers."
"The what?" mumbled Wellington.
Grab the winkers of your upper
syelid in your right hand"
1--WE got EN-"
Nov grab the winkers of your low
er eyelid in your left hand. Now
raise the right hand, push the under
lid under the overlid and haul the
Dverlid over the underlid; when you
have the overlid well over the un-
der"
Wellington waved him away: "say,
what do you think I'm trying to do?
stuff mattress? Get out of my way.
want my wife-lead me to my WIFE"
"An excellent idea," said DR.. Tenn
Pile, who had been praying for recon.
Citation.
He guided Wellington with difficulty
70 the observation room and, finding
Mrs. Wellington at the desk as usual.
he began: ooh. Mrs. Wellington, may
introduce you to your husband"
Mrs. Wellington rose haughtily.
taught sight Of her suffering consort
ind ran to him with a cry Of "Jim-
MEL"
"Lucretia!"
whats happened--are you killed."
I'm far from we'll. But don't wor-
y. My life insurance is paid up"
"Oh. my poor little darling" Mrs.
Jimmie fiuttered, what on earth ails
'ou?" She turned to the doctor. 'Is
lie going to die?"
Il think not" said the doctor. ITS
'nly bad case Of cinder.in-the-eye-
u.s."
Thus treasured, Mrs. Wellington
vent into the patients eye with her
us that the eye?" she
sked.
moi" he howled, "the other one"
She went into that and came out
With the cinder.
There! It's just tiny speck."
Wellington regarded the mote with
mazement. us that all? 1t felt as II
had Pixies Peak in my eye" Then
e waxed tender. "Oh, Lucretia, how
an I ever
But she drew away with disdain-.
I'll: Give me back my hand. please"
"Now, Lucretia," he protested.
don't you think you're carrying this
retty far?"
"Only 40 far as Reno" she answered
rimly. which stung him to retort:
You'd better take the beam out OF
our own eye. now that you've taken
he cinder out Of mine," but she, not,
ng that they were the center of inter
st, observed: "All the passengers are
njoying this. my dear. You'd better
o back to the cafe"