davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-06-21
BY GEORGE FITCH,
Tomatoes
Author Of "At Good Old Siwash"
Copyright, 1912. BY George MathevAdamsl

A TORNADO Is a meteorological
~ brain storm. 1t comes mostly in
L \ June when political conventions
and other commissions of nature are
plentiful and Is positively the worst
thing that can happen to the weather.
Men who have looked the tornado in the
eye and have felt its fierce embrace are
able to enjoy cloudbursts, sunstroke,
frost bite, typhoOns and London ever
afterward.
The tornado makes its lair in the
Mississippi and Missouri valleys as a
rule 1t Is a grizzly gray greenish cloud
with a long funnel attachment which
extends to earth and through which it
sucks up the scenery with avidity. This
funnel whirls at the rate of II million
revolutions a minute and as it proceeds
across the country, it picks up farm
houses, chickens, locomotives, churches,
hay stacks, school houses, blackberry
patches, and national banks and carries
them away. This shows the natural
viciOusness of the tornado 1t has no
use for these things-it only carries
them away to cause ANNOYANCE. After
mixing them up thoroughly. filling the
school houses with locomotives, impal.
ing the hay stack on the church steeple,
picking the feathers from the chickens
and mixing them with $500 bills. it de-
posits the mess in the next county in q
40 acre stand of wheat, folds up its
funnel and goes away to take another
bite out of civilization somewhere else
You can follow the path of a tornado
across a whole state by the things
which aren't there. Even a city detee-
tive could do it.
Tornadoes rise in the southwest and
proceed northeast, like senator Bailey,
leaving horror and despair in their
wake. Like Nero and other pitiless
monsters, they are frivolous by nature
and love to produce quaint obituaries
and unique horrors, such as blowing
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-06-21
MY PERFECT WIFE.

I wish TO laud this wife of mine,
Who surely is a model;
She IS no parasite, supine,
Nor yet a mOllycOddle.
By no means hOmely in her looks
Not Overdressed; no siattern;
Besides, she never, never cooks,
Nor seeks my ways to pattern.
She never greets me with a frOwn
When from my work returning;
Nor squanders on a Paris gown
The wages that I'm earning.
She's never cross, she's never sick.
She never is complaining;
And have yet to hear her kick
Because ii keeps on raining.
So she is Just the kind of wife
That meets my appreciation:
She lives, this treasure of my life,
In my Imagination
New York Times.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-06-21


panned my dreams of prestige and of power OF leadership
have all turned and all my hopes canned For if
for president the opposition gent my record
would updg; at last the tale would be uncOsed Of how
robbed chicken and swiped widows pig He'd dig
up facts that I've concealed for scandals old he'd aed
exposing all my crmes eXhaustng all his ways and
he'd show beat the slot machines by using bogus dimes.
my life, would to public views; IC be shamed in
mind and soul that would crawl into hole when the
pagn through stole school girls hard bOiled egg
L cribbed soldiers wooden egthe truth would be
known for the white house graft The mantes of
great men like Taft methinks I'll let aone
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-06-21
GLOBE SIGHTS.
- rnL

Have a few living men on your list
of heroes. The dead ones don't care
much for appreciation.
There is enough pessimism in this
world to insure the first story of a
disaster being exaggerated
soon the days will be growing long
er. But one can't say for sure about
the skirts the women will be wearing.
Having observed more or less Great
Indignation, you have probably learned
that it is composed chiefly of Talk
Long hair on mans head may at
tract some attention, but it takes
something under it to retain that in
terest.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-06-21
One-Sentence Philosophy
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
lChicagO 49,

And many sober young man turns
out to be a gay old boy.
The gossip Of today may be the su-
perStition Of tomorrow.
Most hOmely women are clever
probably because they have to be.
Conscience is always getting in the
way OF your having a good time
But you can't judge what there is
Eat
II IS easy to appreciate the beauties
OF the simple life-if you are not
obliged TO live II.
All men are born free and equal, and
each has everything his own way-un-
til he is a year or two old.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-06-21
UNCLE Waits DENATURED POEM
Broken Dreams
By Walt Mason

XVTiEN ambitious boy it filled breast with wholesome Joy to
w to lad they
" to
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-06-21
IIRTY-sECOND YEAR o. PUBLICATION

TEIRTY-SECOND YEAR OF PUBLICATION
excusye
Corespon dentsc
ingto c.
h(oxnero perez
3stockho who l. 4 J.
Mundy waters A F c. G.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-06-21

said the Maine senator. The Demo-
cratic party owes him nothing. and
it would be folly to place a man like
him in such a delicate position"
Preston Wants Vice Presidency.
Headquarters for mayor James IT,
Preston, of Baltimore. doomed for the
vice presidency, we're opened yester-
day.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-06-21
PROPOSED SUIT AGAINST COFFEE
TRUST IS A FIGHT AGAINST BRAZIL
PROPOSED

Forcing Coffee yazaiOn Scheme 1t Is Charged Brazil
Violates Sherman Antitrust Law
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-06-21

NObuddy ever went into politics fer
his health that showed any improve
ment. Mrs. Upton Bud has stopped her
newspaper an got on a party wire.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-06-21


The thought" fatal like the
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-06-21

healthy
altitude stimulating power the
native whites born Of native
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-03-26
COURTS BILL THIS WEEK
REPLETE WITH FEATURES.

Further proof of the resolution of the
management of the Court Theatre to
present high-class vaudeville at popu-
lar prices is shown in the program of
s~pecialties provided at that playhouse
for next week.. Foremost on h bill for
the first three days of the week are
Catherine Chaloner and company, in a
comedy skit, "Helen's Press Agent
Others on the program are: Hanson
and Swan, in a singing and dancing
oddly; Maude Kramer, a dainty sing
ing coincidence; the Beldens, in a little
bit of everything; Henry Lewis. Ger
man dialect comedian, and h Bell
monies, trapeze artists.
For the last three days of the week,
beginning with the matinee perform
ance on Thursday. Tunnis and Ralston
will be the feature attraction, present
ing their latest comedy success. The
Headliner." Others are Little Evelyn
Bennett, a juvenile performer; Glen
Ellison, an English comedian; Page and
Watson, in singing and dancing; Cook
and Stevens, knockabout comedians,
and Rowan and Jensen, in refined sing
ing and music.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-03-26
BURNS TALKS On
NJ NAMARA CASE

The Federation Of Mems Clubs. repre-
senting several churches in this city.
listened to an address last night by
Detective William j. Burns. of Wash
ington, at a banquet given in the Con-
tinental Hotel. Rev. James II. Mac
Donald. of st. Luke's Methodist Church,
acted as POSTMASTER.
Mr.. Burns gave a graphic description
of his experience as a detective. Much
of his address was devoted to the graft
investigation in San Francisco.
II. speaking Of the recent MclTamara
case, Mr.. Burns said: Il believe in
labor unions, but men Of the stamp Of
the Mcnamara brothers arc a disgrace
to any organization and their influence
is harmful. 1t makes no difference
what organization a mar or a lass
of men may be affiliated with. they
must be taught that they are not
greater than the Law. If this is done
such outrages as were committed by
these men Will not be repeated"
Samuel Gompers said that he had
never taken a crooked dollar" said
Mr.. Burns. but he is not dead yet,
and neither am I. and I will place him
where he belongs. He Is one of the
greatest demagogues of the present
time"
Burns Rev. Harry Emerson Fosdick, Of
the First Baptist Church, Montclair,
and Rev. Robert B.. Beattie, of the
Mum Avenue Presbyterian Church.
East Orange. delivered short addresses.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-03-26

and criminals true to life. of the un-
derworld and great white way. A brief
outline of the story fails to give n
the intrinsic value of the offering,
which reflects credit upon the company
and stage director. Lee Sterrett.
William Lake. a mining engineer. has
made a fortune in the West and re-
turns to his home in New York only
to fall into the hands of a blackmail
schemer. Harry Leland, and confidence
man, Pop Clark, but is rescued by
"'Frisco Kate" an ex-thief, who is
now trying to live the straight road
and runs a cheap-rate clearinghouse.
Her house is the rendezvous for the
schemers. She also rescues Doris
Moore, the daughter of a minister,
whom Leland, under the pretense of
love, has lured to the city to use as an
accomplice in the ruin of Lake. At the
end of the second act Lake is seen at
the home of the girl. where at the point
of the gun the schemers are foiled.
Doris is taken by Lake to the home of
his mother for protection. and when
interviewed by the inspector of police
the latter is told that he has fallen for
the "baby stare" Lake proves, how
ever, that he is wrong In his judgment
of Doris as being of the gang, and in
the fourth and last act Leland is
brought to an untimely n by Gordon
Laylock, a Western fugitive with a
ransom of $1,000 on his head. who is
rescued from Jail by Kate after the
gang had him put up for vagrancy
and divided the spoils. Suicide was the
verdict, and with Leland out OF the
way all ends happily. Harry B. Roche
did excellent work as Laylock, and
Miss Mary Cunard, who is a new mem
Der of the company, while young look
ing for the part. pleased her audience
as Mrs. Fallon. Lee Sterrett, as Pop
and Edward Van Sloan as Harry Le-
land, combined suavity n cowardii-
ness In their respective characters
Miss Brownell and Clifford Stork were
as pleasing as ever in the straight
parts.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-03-26
REV. DR.. DAWSON INSTALLED IN
FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH

Rev. William H. Dawson was last
night officially installed as pastor Of
the First Presbyterian Church. DR..
Dawson has been acting pastor for a
year. Rev. John Mcdowell, of the
Park Presbyterian Church, moderator
Of the Newark Presbytery. presided.
Rev. DR.. John F. Carson. moderator Of
the General Assembly of the Presby-
terrain Church of the United States, de-
liyered the installation ermon
The charge was given by Rev.
DR.. Pleasant Hunter. of the Second
Presbyterian Church, and Rev. DR..
w. Y. Chapman. of the Roseville Ave-
nue. Presbyterian Church, delivered the
charge to the congregation. Rev.
DR.. Robert Scott Inglis, of the Third
Presbyterian Church. read the Scrip
lures, and Rev. DR.. Lyman Whit
ney Allen. of the Park Presbyterian
Church, offered the prayer.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-03-26
IT is TO LAUGH MY, HOW ONES
SIDES ACHE AT THE GAYETY,

Some show Is the best way to charac-
terize the performance presented by
1.-THE World of Pleasure Burlesque
Company appearing at the Gayety
Theatre this week. To be truthful, 1t is
the best show that has appeared at the
playhouse this season, and IL the per-
formances the rest Of the week are as
good as the one last night, the house
will be packed to the rafters. Headed
by two clever comedians, VIII Fox and
Harry Marks Stewart, the show is one
continual laugh. The Hebrew imita-
tors are good dialect artists and do not
overdo their part.
The two-act comedy, with no special
title, is along the lines of an ~up-to-date
horse story with all the thrillers, in
Guiding the poisoning of a horse to the
delights of a mardi gras night at Cone
Island.
Miss Phrynette Ogden, a wire Taper,
gives a demonstration of clever acting,
as does the diminutive Tommy Mead, a
real little Jockey. One number that
was especially pleasing was the "Guer-
lila Grab" This is a real novelty and
the words that go with the song give
room for thought. It's a hard workout
for the chorus, but they are willing to
oblige. Eddie Foley, James Hall, Mar
jorie Lee and Sally Stewart are also
seen to advantage.
Rose Dryer. a pretty member of the
chorus. was the recipient of a hand
some floral tribute last night. She was
honored by the Fred Hoppe Associa-
ton, which was out $50 strong. Miss
Dryer is a Newark product and n we
need not be ashamed of. She can sing
and is agile.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-03-26
fIADYVILLE" LAUGH-GETTER
AT THE WASHINGTON THEATRE.

Entertainers of exceptional merit
contribute at the Washington this
week to a bill of unusual excellence,
One of the important features of the
bill is Anna Jordan and company, in
a comedy playlet, entitled "Ladyville;"
Jones and Mayo, impersonators; the
Halkings, in a new ~shadowgraph act,
and the Baldwins, bright entertainers.
Beginning Thursday an entirely new
vaudeville program will bring forth the
following talent: Vera McCord and
in 1.-THE Nihilist;'' Herbert
and Langweed Sisters, fun-makers;
Hoch and Moore, rathskeller singers;
McGarry and ReveE, singing and talk
ing; Harry LIE MARI, County Fair
im~personation, and Banks Brazene
Duo.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-03-26
Films Vie with Drama
at Newark Theatres
Durbar's Historic Splendors
Shown by WOndrOus K;nema-
color at Shubert's.
IT He Durbar in kinemacolor. shown
this week at the Shubert Theatre,
L. cradit u tha art af ca1or MIN.

THE Durbar in kinemacolor, shown
this week at the Shubert Theatre,
is a credit to the art of color pho
Biography and the industry of those
who took the films. To can the old
phrase over it is Interesting, educa-
tional and instructive The impor-
ant ceremonies, professions and pag-
eants in Bombay, Calcutta and Delhi
are faithfully reproduced, with an at
tention to detail, which is notably
p~raiseworthy, during the visit of their
nnajesties, King George V. and Queen
Mary. A crowded house greeted last
nights performance. There will be a
matinee every afternoon this week.
Military pomp predominates, a spec
tacle of soldiery being presented which
1t would be difficult at least to match;
and the films are so life-like with the
inspiring music which constantly ac-
companied them, that it is hard to
think at times that the actual Durbar
is not occurring before the very eyes
of the audience. The films were taken
from such elevations and positions that
the viewpoint of the audience Is much
more enviable than that of the or
binary spectator.
Elephants which are most real
camels and other animals which seem
ready to step from the curtain, add
much to the enjoyable features of the
show. The 300 jumbos are more notice
able with their queer trappings, but
they do not detract from the oddly of
seeing thousands upon thousands of
well-groomed horses in full action.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-03-26
THIRD WARD DEMOCRATS
TO HOLD SMOKER TONIGHT.

If past affairs are an indication,
several hundred Democrats will attend
the annual smoker of the Third Ward
Democratic Association at Columbia
Hall tonight. The organization is COM
posed Of stanch champions of the Essex
County Democratic Committee, and
very likely some action will be taken.
as the Hill leaders are generally the
first to boom the prospective candi-
dates. Prominent officials of the city
and county are included among the
guests, including Mayor Jacob Hauss-
ling, Sheriff John F. Monahan, City
Counsel James R. Nugent, Board of
Works Commissioner Charles F.
Kraemer and Judge Simon Hahn.
Miss Edyth Gibbons. regarded as one
of the best s~oloists in the metropolis,
will head the bill with a sextet Of other
star vaudevillians. Harris Cash Is
chairman of the arrangement commit
tee.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-03-26
MANS TOE
SPLIT OPEN
ResinOl Saved Weeks of Suf-
fering.

Probably he was lending a hand in
house-cleaning. We don't know-but
here is what he says:
Some time ago 1 met the very pain
full mischance OF having a heavy case
fall on the big toe of my left foot
The toe was split open and 1 wasslaid
up for a few days. A friend recon-
mended the use of Resinol Ointment.
1 used 1t with such good effect that
the serious-looking wound healed in
about a week after l began to apply
the Ointment, aided by the Resinol
Soap as a cleanser. Without the use
of the Resinol Ointment and Soap 1
am satisfied that would have had
at least a month of suffering, plus
confinement and the loss of the toe
nail. The nail remained intact, n
it is but fair to say that your Oint-
ment n Soap did the speedy work
z. S. NJ. Monro,
Brooklyn, N. Y.
The very best dressing for boils is
soothing, healing Resinol Ointment. 1t
is equally good for felons, c~arbuncles,
cuts, wounds and all skin abrasions.
The action Of Resinol Ointment is
direct, and Its effects promptly mani
fest in the relief OF pain and the re-
duction of Inflammation and irrita-
ton. 1t quickly relieves eczema, ring
worm, BARRIERS itch, pimples and other
eruptive skin diseases.
Resinol Ointment can be used or
raw or inflamed surfaces with safety
and comfort. 1t cannot harm the kin
of the youngest infant. Resinoi Soap
is a high-class health soap. 1t pro-
tects and preserves the skin and should
be used in connection with Ointment.
All druggists sell the Resinol prep
arations; or, II you prefer to make a
free trial first. write for samples 10
more. Ma Ma ReS'n'' o"sn'sa' TO- AA''-
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-03-26
CAT CRIPPLE CREEK" THRILLS
NIGHTLY AT THE COLUMBIA.

Hal Reid's thrilling play Of Western
life. AT Cripple Creek" is the at
traction at the Columbia Theatre this
week. It's a good old-fashioned melo-
drama, with a thrill or a laugh in
every line, and not a moment passes
after the rise of the curtain when
there is not something interesting hap
pening on the stage. Every member
of the cast, especially those who de-
pict the Western characters, is more
thar competent. The scenic equipment
is splendid and the whole play moves
along with ease and smoothness.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-03-26
MODELS A LA CARTE FILL
BILL AT MINERS EMPIRE

1.-THE Girls From Missouri Is the
title of an up-to-date and clever
musical comedy presented at Miners
Empire Theatre for the week. The old
method of slam-bang work of bur-
lesque is eliminated INK instead a clean
show of new people, new costumes and
fun is shown.
The title of the two acts of nonsense
is Models a la Carte" The title fills
the bill, for many of the girls are real
models of beauty. and particularly Mil
dred Cecil, who is billed as the most
perfectly formed woman on the Ameri-
can stage"
A special feature Of the show is the
Hands troupe of seven Arabian whirl-
winds. They furnish hair-raising feats
in strength and agility. and the ap-
plause is we'll deserved.
The performance itself is good and
every member does his or her share
to make the show a success.
Those who do creditable work are
Eva Null, Margaret Clemens, late of
the Naughty Marietta Company; Fred
Russell. Frank P. Murphy, Bobby Har-
rington and Herbert Terry. Tuesday
is story-writers' night; Wednesday,
wrestling night, and Friday, amateur
night.
The manager of the theatre, Frank
Abbott, will be rendered a testimonial
benefit on April Z. The road companies
arriving are all offering the services
of their best comedians, and many are
being accepted. But those who are
looking after the affair have received
the offers of several of the best acts
in vaudeville. and have been assured
a place on the bill. This event will be
one of the banner ones Of the season.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-03-26
STOMACH SOUR. HEADACHY, BILIOUS,
BOWELS CONsT|PATED? CASCARETs

Furred Tongue. Bad Taste, Indigestion. sanow Skin and Miserable Head
aches come from a torpid liver and clogged bowels, which your
stomach to become filed with undgested food. which sours nd ferments
like garbage in a swnl barrel That's the first step to untold misry-foul
cases. bad breath, yellow skin, mental fears everything that is horrible and
box from your druggist will keep o feeling good for months
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-03-26
Get Rich Quick Wallingford
Deals Out Laughter Tonic
at the Newark.

CASSAFRAS Is a we'll advertised
- spring tonic, but as an exhil-
arating medicine, the tonic pur-
veyed at the Newark Theatre this week
far ~surpasses all the patent dope.
One dose of "Get-Rich-Q Quick Wall
ingford" will work wonders. 1t is pleas
ant to take and it's effect is instan-
taneous. "Get-Rich-Quick Walling-
ford" rightly enjoys the reputation Of
being n of the best plays of modern
times. 1t is distinctly Cohanesque in
action and decidedly picturesque IN
style and character.
1t is a refreshing comedy of undis-
puted merit and unstinted fun; effer-
vescent, sparkling and Astounding with
lines of brilliant wit and humor. There
is a generous assortment of laughs, to
which the audience helps itself greed
lily.
The comedy Is Infectious and the
laughs are contagious. The laugh is
spontaneous and irresistible when one
gets just a look at that row of repre-
sentative citizens of the town of Bat
tleburg,' who turn over their thou
sands of dollars to the get-rich-quick
man with an abandon and an alacrity
tAidt 40 90 I'LL NlhAAl6 W LC do0i-
ence as 1t is astonishing to Walling-
ford.
Last night the Newark Theatre was
sold out entirely to the members Of
the Republican Indian League of New
Jersey and their friends. The place
was appropriately and somewhat
deliberately decorated with flags and
bunting and large portraits of Indians
hn 49, - $500 II
cony.
The audience was a fashionable one.
Evening dress predominated, and the
theatre took on an air of genuine
metropolitanism. A representative of
the Indians stood at the door and pre-
scented each of the ladies as they en-
tered white carnations, which per-
meated the air with their fragrance.
1t was the annual theatre party of the
Republican League. The special en-
tertainment committee was headed by
William ]. Schmauder, chairman;
George C. Bergen, secretary; Richard
w. Booth, treasurer.
The adventures Of w~allingford and
those associated with him are so Wv
idly protrayed that one imagines him.
selfspart of h action, and there lever
is a moment during the entire perform
ance when interest lags. The scene of
the play is laid in a small Western
town, which Wallingford and his part
ner descend upon with the idea of
cleaning 1t up" The scheme they de-
wise to separate the natives from their
money is the floating of a concern for
the manufacture of carpet-covered car
pet, tacks.
The scheme works to perfection. and
everyone is induced to get in on the
ground floor, but then much to the sur
prise of Wallingford and his partner
they have the manufacturing of their
article put before them so favorably
they decide to remain in town and ac-
tually go into business. With their help
the town begins to boom Immediately
factories spring up like mushrooms and
more money than the natives ever
dreamed was in the world flows int
it. A pretty love story runs through
out the play Inc for good, clean wit
humorous situations and w~ell-worked
| up climaxes 1t is a record breaker.