davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1912-04-17
THE. BURIAL or DOC Wiley.

(By Richard Henry Little.)
Who killed Doc Wiley1
IT." said Soda Benzoate,
"He fought me and met his fate,
killed Doc Wiley"
Who saw him diel
a." said Salicylic Acid,
GIVE always yearned to see him placid
Aud | saw him die"
Who caught his blood1
~" said old Formaldehyde,
"He thought he had me safely tied,
So caught his blood"
Who made his shroud1
a." said Fluoride Calcium,
"He tried to put me on the bum,
So made his shroud."
Who will be the parson1
81, said little Saccharine,
"He treated me almighty mean,
So Ill be the parson."
Who will dig his grave1
"I," said old Borax,
Gle tried to grab me by the thorax
So I'll dig the grave"
Who will be the clerk1
a." said little Coal Tar Dye,
Here's funeral where don't cry
So I'll be the clerk"
Who'll carry him to the grave?
e." said Chokem's Soothing Syrup
81 used to cause the doc to rear up,
I'll carry him to the grave.
Who will be the chief mourner?
/ said Creosote,
"He often tried to get my goat.
I'll be chief mourner.
Who will sing a psalm?
a." said Peroxide of Hydrogen,
"And listen when yell amen
I'll sing the psalm"
Who will bear the pail?
ST." said Killem's Catarrh Cure.
cat bearing pals I'm certain sure.
I'll bear the pail"
Who will toll the bell?
''I," said Tombstone Headache Pow.
der.
"None than me can ring it louder,
I'll toll the bell"
All the sulphides and acids
Fell to laughing so slyly,
When they heard the bell toll,
For poor Doctor Wiley.
Chicago Tribune.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1912-04-17
I ar. NiIeY and the secretary,

Senator La Toilette conducts a
weekly magazine which, ike the
Senator himself, is unceasing in
its public service. 1t now takes
!. up the relation of DR.. Wiley to
Nose who, upon his retirement,
remain triumphant in the Depart
ment of Agriculture. Public
health, La Follett's" says, is the
foundation of national efficiency
and greatness, and Wiley has
spent a quarter of century in
the promotion of public health.
1t took twenty-five of his twenty
nine years of service to reach a
point where the general interest
bad become strong enough to
drive the courts into action, and
the Pure Food and Drugs Act is
more a monument to him than to
any other one person. The
adulterators and prisoners, beaten
in Congress, found ardent aids in
the Department of Agriculture.
This situation, together with
president Taft's gag rule which
puts the hand of silence over the
mouth of every bureau. chief, left
Wiley helpless. He could neither
enforce the pure food law nor lift
his voice in protest to the conn--
try" Had public opinion not
been so much aroused, the false
evidence which >McCabe manu-
featured against Wiley, even at
the risk of changing a document,
would have been successful,
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1912-04-17
FINE FARM AT
PUBLIC AUCTION.

On Saturday afternoon, April
20lh. at 2 o'clock, in front of the
Court House door, at Mt. Ster-
ling, KY, l will sell to the high
est bidder, my farm, located on
the Spencer pike, % miles from
town. containing 100 and a frac-
ton acres of good land, of which
most is in old sod and young
grass.
There is a good, new frame cot
tage on this farm, a meat house,
poultry house, corn crib, and a
splendid, large tobacco stock barn
A nice, young orchard, part of an
old orchard, also plenty of grapes.
1t is we'll watered, has good,
large cistern and several never
failing springs, also pool. Rail
road station at frcnt gate, and
school house in sight.
If you are thinking of buying a
farm, be sure to look this one
over and bid on it, for it is going
to be sold at your price.
TERMs:-One-third cash, balance
in one and two years with bankable
paper. j. K. GATEwoOD.
4O-2t
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1912-04-17

There IS more Catarrh IN this section OF
the country than all other diseases put
together and until the last few years
was supposed to be incurable. For a great
many years doctors pronounced 1t a local
by constantly failing to cure with local
treatment, pronounced 1t incurable. Sci
ence has proven Catarrh to be consti-
tutiona disease, and therefore requires
constitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure, manufactured by +. ]. Cheney &
Co., Toledo, Ohio, is the only Constitu-
tional cure on the market. 1t is taken in
ternally in doses from 10 drops to a tea
spoonful. 1t acts directly on the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system. They
offer one hundred dollars for any case It
fails to cure. Send for circulars and tes-
timonials.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1912-04-17

Cheapest accident insurance
DR.. Thomas Electric Oil. Stops
the pain and heals the wound. All
druggists sell it. I'm
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1912-04-17

Soothes itching skin. Heals
cuts or burns without a scar.
Cures piles, eczema, salt rheum,
any itching. Doan's Ointment.
Your druggist sells it. I'm
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1912-04-17
Carriage.

Call Lloyd's stable. phone 281,
for carriage to and from depot,
rs cents each wav, also baggage.
Prompt and first class service. 1876
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1912-04-17

The measure of any woman's
life is not what she gets, but what
she gives.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1912-04-17

Whatever work a man can do
best is woman's work. 1t has no
limitations in a "spere."
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1912-04-17

Best steaks and roasts at Va
narsdell's.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1912-03-07

ayers, but after a two years trial
with only meager returns for fruit, the
the growers became restive and de-
manded change in market methods.
In an effort to save his bob and fat
salary. the present manager worked up
another marketing connection. His
plan was really only a change of con
signees with no decrease IN the number
of commission houses and tolls. and IT
imposed no additional work on him. for
by this new deal he would continue to
bill out the ears. leaving the rest with
the middlemen. This deal was to be
with the Northwest Fruit Exchange, a
Portland corporation of jobbers in
fruit, which is affiliated with the North
American Fruit Exchange. corpora
tiou of New York fruit iobbers. The
Portland firm was not content with the
usual commission on sales, but de-
manded that the Rogue River Fruit 4
Produce Association take stock in their
corporation, and pay S.. 600 in cash for
it and to be given only small minor
ity share. This scheme meant more
assessments on the members and they
turned il down hard.
The last move of this shifty manager
was to endeavor to get the association
at Hood River, Yakima and Wenatehee
to go in with Rogue River and form a
selling agency but this has been de-
clined. Those districts had just gotten
| their associations in good working
order, and have worked up profitable
markets for their fruit and do not for
the present care to experiment IN an
uncertain deal. Just what will be the
next move on the part of the manager
or of the members of the Rogue River
Fruit 4 Produce Association, it is hard
to tell.
One of the greatest handicaps that
is on Rogue River Valley is the enor-
nous amount of money that flows in a
steady stream from the Valley, aud fan
in excess of the returns had from local
resources. Much of this money goes
for commodities that could be produced
as cheaply and efficiently at home as
abroad To be an aid in stopping this
financial drain, that brings busines:
stagnation to the Valley whenever th'
inflow OF newcomers money ceases
was one of the plans of the progressive
workers in the organization of tn,
Rogue River Fruit & Produce Associa
tion.
!, The present failure of the effort I
, have one big association to handle al
the fruit of Rogue River Valley doe
not mean that cooperative marketing
can not be made a success in this Val
, ley. HOOD RIVER, WHO NOW HA!
ONE OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL
ASSOCIATIONS IN THE UNIT.
, STATES, made two efforts, each fol
lowed by fiat failure before they go
their organization in good working
! order And every other farmers mar
keting organization that is now sue
!, cessful operation was built up on tn
, ruins of one or more failures.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1912-03-07
0. A. c. STUDENTS
NOW ALMOST 5000

The total to date of all students
registered for lectures and courses at
the Oregon Agricultural College, ac-
cording to the latest statistics of the
registrar, is 2, 1863.
In the regular courses there are 1880
students registered. representing all
the counties of Oregon, 33 other states.
and foreign countries. The enroll
ment for the fall short course was 842,
and for the poultry demonstrations and
lectures 76l, making total of !, 1903 in
the special winter work.
The college rolls for the second Sc
mester contain So new names never
before recorded here, one being that
of Stanford graduate here for work
in horticulture, and seven others from
different parts of California.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1912-03-07
FREE IF 1T FAILS
Your Money Back if You are not Satisfied
With the Medicine We Recommend.

We are so positive that our remedy
will permanently relieve constipation,
no matter how chrome 1t may be. that
we offer to furnish the medicine at
our expense should it fail to produce
satisfactory results.
Ii is worse than useless to attempt
to cure constipation with cathartic
drugs. Laxatives or cathartics do
much harm. They cause a. reaction,
irritate, and weaken the bowels and
tend to make constipation more chron-
ic. Besides. their use becomes habit
that is dangerous.
Constipation is caused by a weakness
OF the nerves and muscles of the large
intestine or descending colon. To ex-
pect permanent relief you must there
| fore tone up and strengthen these or
pans and restore them to healthier
activity.
We want you to try Rexall 0rderlies
on our recommendation. They are
exceedingly pleasant to take, being
eaten like candy and are ideal for
children, delicate persons. and old
folks, as we'll as for the robust. They
act directly on the nerves and muscles
of the bowels. They apparently have
neutral action on other associate
organs or glands. They do not purge
cause excessive looseness, nor Great,
any inconvenience whatever. The,
may be taken at any time, day o
night. They will positively reliev
chronic or hahitual constipation, if no
! of surgical variety. and the myriad
/ of associate or dependent chronic all
ments. if taken with regularity for
reasonable length of time. IL tablets
/. 10 cents; 36 tablets, 25 cents; so tai
lets, SO cents. Sold in Hood River onl
at our store-The Rexall Store. Ca
. A. Plath.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1912-03-07
Notice For Publication.

DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR.
U. s. Land Office at The Dalles, Oregon, jan
uary 30. 1872
Notice il hereby given that Roy II. Routson,
OF PaFkdale, oregon, who, on November l6,
1910, made Homestead, No. U77Os, for E19 SWA,
Section 20, Township South, Range 10 East.
Willamette Meridian. has filed notice Of in
tentlon 10 make Final Communication Proof, TO
establish claim to the land above described,
before +. A. Bishop, u. ;. Commissioner, at
his Office at Hood River, Oregon, on the 18th
day Of March. 1912.
Claimant names as witnesses K. A Brown
l.. II. Rose, q c. Mckee. of Parkdale, Oregon
Cyrus Sparks. of Mt. Hood oregon.
G. W. MOORE
fgm7 Register.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1912-03-07

NOTICE TO APPLE TREE PLANTERS. n

NOTICE TO APPLE TREE PLANTERS. u
We are running bargain counter Nursery
We can do this because we are president,
manager, secretary, treasurer, planter, grow
er, digger and packer OF our company. We
have Ior sale several standard varieties OF
one and two-year-old apple trees at bargain
counter prices. All trees guaranteed true to
name and free from disease. We are looking
for q bargain, are you? Write or phone 2ls-k
] r Healeigh. Hood River, Ore, /. Q. Neal
eigh, k No. 1, sherwood, Ore. apr 10
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1912-03-07

Many q child is called dull and stupid
when the whole trouble is due 10 a lsIy
liver. We firmly believe your own doc
tor will tell YOU that an occasional dose
Of Ayers Pills, sugar coated, will do such
children a great deal OF good. ASK him.
Mste hv the J. c. AVER co Lowsn. Mass
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1912-03-07

II YOU have trouble in getting rid Of
your cold YOU may know that you are
not treating it properly There is no
reason why a cold should hang on for
weeks and it will not il You take Cham
byrlain's Cough Remedy. For sale by
all dealers.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1912-03-07
.TheCouqhs
of Children

They may not cough today,
but what abou, tomor ow?
Better be prepared for it
when. it comes. Ask your
doctor about keeping Ayers
Cherry PectOral in the house.
Then when the hard cold d
cough first appears you have
d doctors medicine at hand.
This cough medicine is
especially good for children.
No anodyneS. No alcohol.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04
The Sage Of Monticello

"The Sage OF Monticello" is the nickname that
was applied TO Thomas Jefferson for the same
reason and in much the same manner as Daniel
Webster was given the title The Sage OF Marsh
field" Jefferson the title OF sage" for the
many glorious truths he uttered, and as Webster
loved every inch OF the ground OF the beautiful
Cape Cod village OF Marshfeld and its calm
scenery he believed gave him Just such inspira
tiOn as he needed, so at Monticello. Jeterson's
Virginia estate the great statesman found the
most delightful retreat from his labors. and the
essence of contentment which inspired him to
larger, greater and more beneficial things for tho
beterment Of his country.
Jefferson was born at Shadwell. the homestead
Of the family near Charlottesville Va When
that estate was destroyed by fire In 1870 along
with its furniture books and his law papers. he
sought out another location which was even more
attractive TO him. About two miles from the
Shadwel house was hill named by Jefferson
Monticello little mounD. This eminence com
manded view Of surprising beauty. and he chose
thls place as the site for a mansion that should
embody his ideas OF architecture-ap art upop
which he expended much thought and in which
he was more than an amateur. After the fire the
building OF new house upon hts little mount"
was pushed rapidly, and in something more than
year a section was made ready for occupancv
In l772 Jefferson married and brought 10 his
new mansion Martha Shelton, a childless widow,
OF ~ In letter written from Paris in 1855 10
MTa Maria Conway Jefferson. referring to his
nome SAID; And our own dear Monticello
where has nature spread so rich a mantle under
the eye? Mountains forests rocks rivers with
What at majesty do we there ride above the storms.
HOW sublime 10 look down into the workbousa
OF nature TO see her clouds, hail snow rain
tnunder all fabricated at our feet! And the
glorious sun when rising as If out of a distant
water Just gliding the tops Of the mountains and
giving life to all nature" ''N
Jeuersons public life began IN 1863. when he
TOOK his seat as a member Of tho Vir,trt. -
OF burgesses lie was twenty.six wears M ago ~
lhe time This was only a little more than two
years previous TO his occupancy Of MontIcelro
winch he called his home during the remaIndsr
Of his life ''nSihue'
-, nerelore all the great things in the life o,
little mount" and next to the home n, wsIh
,nston H at Mount Vernon, the home OF Jefferson AZ
monticello, both in the same state. is one n, ,bs
great American shrines VI tno
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04

Brand Whitlock, who doubles as
mayor OF Toledo and as a literary
man, had a Chicago career. He was a
reporter on the old Herald when Pete
Dunno and Charley Seymour were his
side.hcks. Charley Chaplin was one
Of his city editors
Chaplin Is now city editor OF the
New York Evening World. and this
story was told to Whltlock lately by
a correspondent who had him under
interviewing fire:
A new reporter had been hired on
the Evening World, and he went to
work on a Wednesday. The pay day
on the paper is Thursday. In the
course OF a week, when the recruit re-
ceiycd his first envelope, he found
that he was a day short. He went to
Chaplin and complained. only to get
this:
"Oh. we'll. never mind When I fire
you, I'll fire you a day earlier and that
will make It come out even"
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04

marveled at and admired was executed upon the
great strip OF sheepskin now locked away In the
department OF state, Washington.
On August 2, 1875, just a month after the real
stroke OF independence. this great sheepskin was
unroled IN the presence of the Continental Con.
gress, In Independence Hall With the wording
OF the corrected draft II was carefully compared
at the table" This formaty gone through with
II was spread out upon a desk and signed by all
OF the members of Congress present Fifty OF
these fathers OF the republic signed on that day.
Six OF the revered "slgners" did not aflx their
signatures until later dates. George Wythe OF
Virginia signed about August 27. Richard Henry
Lee, Virginia; Elbridge Gerry. Massachusetts, and
oliver Walcott, Connecticut, did not afix their
signatures until some time in September. Mat.
thew Thornton OF New Hampshire did not add his
name until November and Thomas Mexican OF
Delaware probably did not afix his the final sig.
nature until five years later. or 1881. Matthew
Thornton, by the way, was not appointed to Con.
gress until November-four months after the
adoption OF the Declaration. Other signers who
were not members of Congress on July 2 or g.
but were allowed TO sign August 2, the general
signing day were BENJAMIN Rush James Wilson
George Ross, George Clymer and George Taylor
why two Georgia members did not sign is ex.
planned by Mr. Michael One Of these Rev John
Joachim Zubly of Savannah. as soon as It be-
came apparent that independence was TO be
declared had fed post haste from Philadelphia to
Georgia with the intention OF apprisng Sir James
was going on behind the closed doors OF Inde.
pendence Hall zublys conduct having excited
suspicion. he had been closely watched and one
OF his letters TO the British governor had been
seized It appearing beyond doubt that he was
divulging the secrets OF the executive sessions.
then so Eealously planning the stroke for liberty
ne had been accused Of his perhdy on the floor
OF the Congress by Samuel Chase. member from
Maryland. Zubly had denied these charges and
challenged proof It had been the furnishing of
this proof that had caused his flight Congress
directed John Houston. another Georgia deleeate
TO follow Zubly and circumyent his evil purposes
BY the time both members reached Georgia how.
ever. the crown governor had been deposed by
the people and had taken refuge In an armed
British vessel lying in Savannah harbor Thus
Zublys treachery came to naught but Il cheated
Houston out Of his opportunity TO sign the Decla
ration, and left Georgia with only three instead ~
hve signers Why Houston did not sign win
the other tardy members is not discussed in the
history but his name should be as endeared IN
the hearts Of Americans as any Of the artuol
signers. Zubly. by the way. after being banlsbcd
from Georgia with the loss Of half of his estatn
was allowed to return TO his pastoral work an
savannah. which city honors him nv nuov,,na
Two highways to soar his name-Joaehim ana
zubly Htreets anu
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04
stock exchange seeurItIss.

Though the United States is still a
debtor nation on general balance, its
people stand second only to those OF
Great Britain as holders Of securities
listed on recognized stock exchanges,
and lead the investors of France by a
large margin. The sum total OF all
the stock exchange securities in the
world is nearly one hundred and six
teen billion dollars. Of which the Brit
ish hold twenty-seven billions. the
Americans twenty-five billions, the
French twenty,one billions and the
Germans eighteen billions. The days
when dividends and interest on Amer
lean securities held abroad were tinan-
cial burdens in this country have pass
ed.--New York Commercial.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04
sehu rourlst Route.

Is the Nile 70 have a rival for tour.
list trade in the Sebu? A French Off
Ger has just succeeded in plotting a
motor boat drawing about three feet
Of water within half dozen miles OF
Fez. Not only was he able to sur
mount all the obstacles in the Sebu
river. but he managed to pass the
mouth OF the Fas. the smaller stream
which comes down through the Sheree-
fan capital in a series OF famous falls
A dahabiyeh or even an everyday
houseboat on the Sebu may soon be
the most attractive proposal Of the
tourist agencies when their pacific
penetration" OF Mulay Hafd's empire
Is completed
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04
Where He Got II.

Teacher-Now. Willie. where did
you get that chewing gum? want
the truth.
Willie-You don't want the truth.
teacher, and I'd rather not tell a lie.
Teacher-How dare you say don't
want the TRUTH Tell me at once
where you got the chewing gum
Willie-UndeT yo1T' desk
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04
A Gentle Result.

she-I thought prize fights were
very exciting.
He-They usually are.
She-Well, this one l am reading
about could not have been very lively.
for = seems from this account the
fight ended because one Of them went
10 sleep.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04

II is a wise man who urges his
friends TO move into the suburbs; for
then he may visit them and enjoy all
the pleasures and delights OF suburban
life without any expense other than
car fare
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04

Some Chicago bachelors would like
10 adopt sons, but object TO wives. This
shows to what depth OF desperation
the prevailing styles of feminine garb
will drive particular men.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04

England planted its first settlement
IN this country 3O5 years ago. but to-
day American millionsires are making
settlements on the English.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04

A woman in Philadelphia was lately
convicted OF being a common scold.
But why single out a single poor
woman?
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04

Stuffed humming birds are now up
against potted English sparrows.. Ev-
erybody IS invited TO eat sparrows.
the moro the better
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04

With baseball and presidential cam,
palgns going on simultaneously, con-
gress is one OF the dullest institutions
on this justly celebrated earth.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04

A Pittsburgh woman has a dog
which swallowed lately a haitdollar
and later on, probably stimulated by
this taste OF wealth, swallowed a $500
diamond ring. A the owner Of this
dog Of luxurious diet is not on the
stage, u seems a great waste Of bust
, Nsas possibilities.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04

An eastern housewife has dIscov-
cred way to make Jam out OF spin
ach. Perhaps she'll make shredded
wheat out Of sideburns next
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04

Tho meanest husband has been dis
covered IN New York lie wanted his
wife's allmony cut down because she
had gone to work.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04

A machine has been perfected by
which the three dollar investor draws
out five dollars. It's fine machine,
but the inventor has been arrested.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1912-07-04

Two brothers have been brought to
gether, after many years OF separation.
by means of. tattoo mark-which is
the only excuse for tattooIng.