davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
. Jones Admitted II.

Jones and Brown argued as they al
ways did when they had time enough.
They had dined together, and as Jones
lived at a distance and 1t was very
i&te Brown offered to put him UP for
me night.
On the way home they fell to dis
fussing the strategy of the Civil war
as Indicated by the campaigns of Lee
and Grant. The topic a elastic
enough to keep them going for half
an hour and reached its height as
they neared the Brown house
Then Brown lost his temper.
Jones'" said he. IF you don't admit
that Grant was a greater general than
Lee, you can't sleep here"
1t was then two o'clock in the morn
ing, and Jones was eight miles from
home.-Chicago Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
A HEALTHY,
OLD AGE

May be promoted by those who
gently cleanse the system. now and
then, when in need Of a laxative
remedy, by taking a desertspoonful
Of the ever refreshing, wholesome
and truly beneficial Syrup Of Figs
and Elixir Of SIENNA. which is the
only family laxative generally ap-
proved by the most eminent ply
%sicians, because it acts in a natural,
Strengthening way and warns and
tones up the internal organs without
weakening them. Its equally bene6-
6cialfort the very young and the mid
die aged, as tits always efficient and
free from all harmful ingredients. To,
get its beneficial effects it is always
necessary to buy the genuine, bear
ing the name Of the Company
California Fig Syrup Co.-plainly
printed on the frontof everypackage.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
BEST TRICK NOT IN THE AIR
Aviator Was Clever at His Work,
But Shone Best In Another
Line of Endeavor.\

Henry M. Nicely, the aviator poet of
Philadelphia, said at a recent banquet
at the Bellevue-Stratford:
Eyes, 1t is true that it takes a lot
of money to become an airman. You
can't get an aeroplane and you can't
learn to fly without plenty Of cash."
Mr.. Nicely smiled.
II was watching a brother airman
making a volplane the other day,
when l heard a young lady say:
"fHe can do a lot of tricks, can't
hep
"'Yes, you bet he cam her compan-
ion agreed.
"FWhat is his best trick?' she con-
tinued.
His best trick far and away was
the reply, is buying a biplane on cred
1t. He's done it twice now, and l
shouldn't be surprised to see him pull
it off a third time before he breaks his
neck"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
n w%RRFFA Watson Z. Coleman, Wash
BW n " ington, DC. Bookstores. High
"a knkN ~ est referencea Best results.
PULLED in DIFFERENT WAYS
Ordinary Man on the Street Some
what Puzzled by Seeming Busi-
ness Contradictions
Life is full of contradictions"

Life is full Of contradictions"
"Yes?"
For instance. about six months
ago a life insurance agent got after
me, and bounded me nearly to death.
I told him at the start that l had all
the insurance | was able to carry, but
he kept right on trying to persuade
me that / needed more and, finally, in
sheer desperation, | consented to take
out another policy. Then the COM
pany's doctor began trying in every
way he could think of to make 1t i'm
possible for me to get the insurance.
He acted as If | was voluntarily try
ing to beat the company in some way,
and when l failed to pass the examina-
ton both he and the agent appeared to
think l had wronged them by taking
up their time"
That's nearly as bad as my case.
Several months ago representatives of
a piano house got after me for the pur-
pose Of ~persuading me to buy a piano
On the installment plan. Just to get
rid of them | at last agreed to buy.
Now they've got a corps of men out
trying to dig up proof that l never
could or would pay for the piano If
they were to let me have 1t. Business
is a great thing"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
Young, but Oh, Myl

The lawyer was sitting at his desk,
absorbed in the preparation of a brief.
So bent was he OF his work that he
did not hear the door as it was push
ed gently open, nor see the curly head
that was thrust into his Office. A lit.
tie sob attracted his notice. and turn
ing, he saw his face that was streaked
with tears. and told plainly that his
feelings had been hurt.
We'll, my little man. did you want
to see me?"
Are you a lawyer"
Eyes. What do you want?"
II want" and there was a ~resolute
ring In his voice-"T want a divorce
from my papa and mammal"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
AGAINST A MERCHANT MARINE
Recent Action Must Show the Country
the Extent Of Dictatorship
Of Wall Street.

Few things have so opened the eyes
of the country to the extent of the
grip of the Wall street dictatorship
on credit and industry in the United
States as the story of how this cen
tralized money power has refused to
permit the organization of a $15.000.-
900 American steamship company or
allow an independent American mer-
camille marine to be built In Ameri-,
can shipbuilding yards. The general
comment of papers wet the country
Is that nothing a 80 foster the
growth of Socialism as this revela-'
ton Of a capitalistic control to the
extent that 1t can deny the people Of
the country the natural advantages
Of their 1915. 900, 900 investment in the
Panama canal.
The people have only vaguely grasp
ed the idea that nc railroad can be
built except with the consent of q
few men in Wall street. This new ex-
hibition of the power OF the dictator
ship jars the nation into a realization,
at last, that the great problem is to
curb this power, which is now seen to
be great enough to challenge the gov
eminent itself by practically declar-
ing that there shall be no mail carry
ing steamship company organized to
operate between American ports via
the canal on the terms which the gov
eminent itself specifies. These terms
are that such a mail carrying steam
ship line. and it's directors, shall be
absolutely Independent of the great
trans-continental railway combination.
Likewise does this power serve no.
tice Indirectly on the government that
no mail carrying company SO organic
ed can get its ships built in American
yards. And this is the clique that has
been demanding that the government
at Washington tax the people of the
country to pay 1t to build ships to
give work to American laborers in
these yards. This strips the whole
ship subsidy propaganda of it's last
mask, and it is exposed not as a pro-
posal for benefitting the ship build
ers and their workmen, and ito put
the American flag On the seas again."
but as another plan, such as the tariff
Is, to turn national revenues into the
treasury Of Big Business
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
Wanted: a Rudnet COMMITTEES.

Chairman Underwood Of the ways
and means committee insists stoutly
that congress must adhere to the pro-
gram Of economy. Congress will never
economic until all the appropriation
bills shall again be restored to the
jurisdiction Of a single committee. and
1t would be better yet to give them
and bills for revenue to n commit
tee. A budget committee rs the only
remedy for prodigal expenditures, and
mr.. Underwood would do a statesman
like and an heroic work II he would
undertake to bring this about.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
Marx,s Little Postscript.

Mistress-Mary, wasn't that gentle
man asking for me?
The New Maid-No, mum he de-
scribed the lady he wanted to 9 as
being about 40,and | told him 1t could
MT be you.
Mistress-Quite right, my dear. And
you shall have an extra afternoon of
tomorrow.
The New Maid-Yes, mum. Thankee,
mum! Yes, mum. | told him 1t could
MT be you. as you was about 60.
Mistress-And while you're taking
your afternoon off you'd better look
out, for a new place! i
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
300 nIes Mar Master.

Smyrna. Del.--A shepherd dog.
owned BY Joseph Stats Of Smyrna,
stricken with grief over the death OF
his master, wandered away from home
and died in a hole he dug into the
earth Of the newly made grave. How
the dog located the graveyard or the
proper grave 10 a mystery that viii
never be solved. MIR. Stats had been
\ partial paralytic for several years.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
A Little Off.

Senator Penrose was talking in
Washington about the dreadful hunting
accidents of last month. When buck
fever seizes a man." he said, The goes
as far off his aim as the old lady went
In her definition of he word 'belli-
cose.' She was talking with a friend
about a bishop.
Hes a fine man, said the friend,
a fine, handsome man. His only
trouble is that he's a little bellicose.'
"'Bellicose?' said the old lady with
a surprised frown. He must have
changed, then. The last time I saw
him he was tall and rather slender"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
How He Found Out.

"Mr. Chairman" shouted one Of the
delegates to the convention, II move
that the nominating speeches be linn
tied to one minute each!"
Second the motion!" yelled a dozen
others.
A storm of protest arose, but the
chairman put the motion.
1t was lost by a vote of Al to is.
Il merely wished to find out, Mr..
Chairman" explained the delegate
who had made the motion, "how many
ambitious orators there are In this
convention. There are AZ"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
Dies Of a Broken Heart.

Hampstead. L. I.-Extreme grief
oyer the tragic fate Of her little girl
caused Mrs. Kate Bleowski to die Of
o broken heart. Last week the little
one was fatally burned at a bonfire
In front of her home here and as she
was carried into the house the mother
collapsed. She remained In a semi
conscious condition until her death.
The attending physician says that her
death was due solely to a broken
heart.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
All Very True. But

Fond Father-Yes, Johnny, when
the Millennium is come the lamb can
lie down with the lion in perfect
safety.
Little Johnny (doubtingly)--I s'pose
that's 80, but I'd rather be the lion,
just the anne.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
Think of IT!

Two brothers, each of whom is
nearly six feet and a half tall, were
one day introduced by an %acquaint-
ance to a young lady. AS she sat
gazing up at the pair of giants in
wonder and awe, she exclaimed:
Great heavens! Suppose there
had been only one Of you'll"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
/ poIItleaI Jokers.

What is the difference asked
Mr.. Bones, between a statesman and
a boss?" IA statesman" replied Mr.
Tambo. puts himself in the hands Of
his friends, but the boss devotes him
self to seeing what he can get his own
hands on
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
AuaInst the CLAYTON Measure.

If the Democratic party allows IT,
self to be suspected Of undue favor
for bills like the Clayton measure 1t
will lose far more than 1t can gain.
The judiciary committee has sunk to
a low estate in treating this matter
from a biased and partisan point OF
view. House leaders a correct the
harm that has been done only by re-
fusing to accept responsibility for the
action OF the committee and by de
clining to allow this bill to 60 fur
ther.-Exchange.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
Knees Became Stiff
Five Years Of Severe Rheumatism

The cure of Henry j. Goldstein, IA
Barton Street. Boston, Mass, is another
medicine has succeeded in manv cases
where others have utterly failed. Mr..
Goldstein says: 81 suffered from rheuma.
tism five years, it kept me from business
and caused excrueiating pain. NY knees
would become as stiff as steel. / tried
many medicines without relief, then took
Hoods S~arsaparilla, soon felt much better,
and now consider myself entirely cured.
1 recommend Hoods"
Get it today in usual liquid form or
chocolated tablets called Sarsatabs.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
Important pIstlnctlon.

You can take that ak and get up
an appetite for a little dinner" said
the farmers wife.
Lady" replied Meandering Mike,
what 4 was applyin' fur was food;
not physical culture"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
h pIdn,t Paw.

It is the duty OF the Republican
party to resist attacks on business.-
Chairman Barnes, OF New York.
And 1t has had long experience at
III, but 1t begins to look as II 1t felt
that the work didn't pay.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

The beef trust would feel worse
about the refusal OF the British gov
eminent TO deal with It II II did not
control large meat interests In Ar
Isentsna and Australasia.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
Probably.

Teacher-What did the Philistines
say after David had slain Goliath?
Willie-N, l suppose they said,
Never mind. The seasons young yet.
Wait till David hits a siump."-Christ-
mas Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

"My wife can't decide on a car"
This model is the last word in
touring cars"
THE last word. Ell? Then she'll
have it."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
His Theory.

Teacher-What is 1t, Tommie, that
Shakespeare tells us becomes the
throned monarch better than his
CROWN"
Observation-Disclosures Bazaar.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

Stamp Needed in That Case.
"She stamped her foot"
THAT was all right, If her foot was
going by mall"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

There is scope for chance every
where; let your hook be always hang,
ing ready. In the eddies where yop
least expect It. there win be \ 1sh.
Ovid
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

Sore Throat is no trifing ailment. It
will sometimes carry infection to the en-
tire system through the food you eat.
Hamlins Wizard Oil cures Sore Throat.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
Not Afftnities.

Mistress-And why did you leaTe
your last place?
Maid-Me and the missis was not
congenial.-Harper's Bazaar.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

81 fought yous said yous kin lick
me wild yer hands tied behind yer
back?"
"I-I-can! I'm just goin' now
to get a string to tie 'em!"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

A woman falls in love gracefully.
but a mar usually stumbles Into It.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

Many a mans handshake is less sin
cere than the wag Of his dogs tail.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

And the love of money is also the
root of much matrimony and all all
mony.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tablets.
Druggists refund money II IT fails to cure. II. W.
GROVES signature Is on each box. 2c.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

PILES CURED IN 6 TO IA DAYS
Your druggist will refund money If PAZO N
MENT fails to cure any case of Itching, Blind,
Bleeding or ProtrudingP Piles in 10 Ia days. 60e.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

Squilbob-Don't know how to court
the girl? Well, my boy, you just tell
her that you know she despises "jol-
lying" and is the one woman in the
world who can't be flattered.
Squilligan-Well?
THAT sort OF CUFF will fatter her!"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

Lewis Single Binder, straight 5c-many
smokers prefer them to l0c cigars.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

Most Of US Would keenly enjoy
working--if only we weren't compelled
to do It
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

Mrs. Wtnslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces inhamma.
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie, 25c q bottle.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

Lewis Single Binder, extra quality to.
bacco, costs more than other Sc cigars.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

TITS never too late to-" lend.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

Profitable goods are good friends
that we dearly love to part with.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04
Imnortant to

important to MotherS
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

1t seems that to make both ends
meet requires no end Of money.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-01-04

Some society women are known by
what they waste their affections on.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-11-30
1nlSa Today Expects Every
Man to DO His Full Duty
WORK OF RAISING MONEY FOR THE LOCATION Oh THE DRY
FARMING CONGRESS WILL DE BEGUN
TULSA TODAY

Conditional only upon the raising OF comparatively small sum
International Dry Farming Congress in Tulsa yesterday assured
COMMITTEES OF local people met with the repeenGt'gs OF 'no
conference finally determined that Tulsa should receive tho
S H.s s ns % oss cn P9en of the $4,000 bonus originally ''''
committee viii today canvas city
the Of the convention anyone
they realize that upon the success of their efforts today depends
whether their shall be the of the greatest eXpoS
uon Of practical modern and approved farming the world mas eve"
Tulsa stondpionts
Primarily 1t win mean the education Of the farmers Of Iaa
with regardless of droughts other cNemies
twenty-five state in
from the showing made at the last convention esd IN ehrdET age
Canada to be presumed that no less than 5000 people VIII
I Burns, secretary treasurer of
Will offices here and place word twelve clerks
plan Of publicity that win extend
throughout the civilized word advertise Tna almost beyond
problem handling crowds that VIII visit tho
city viii be taxed and the exact facilities Of this city
peore be determined before the convention opens next oe
buildings viii be erected the site near
the city where the convention VIII hold Its demonstration ETC.
organizations OF entertainment
the social side of the convention
or the $4,000 bonus that is to be given by Tulsa TINS c wl
be required furnish only small portion The state legislature
The United States government this year gave appropriation
Ihbridge Canada 1t Is expected
that $4,000 will be appropriated by congress for the Tulsa eonyen
In the meantime federal appropriation is looked for that WILL
benefit Eastern Oklahoma aeruaess Ana during hs CON
vnton the produeyene OF different kinds OF soil Will be demon
e5@nsSS eoanIS f@ f@% S' delegates
The amount of money toward
the convention is small compared
OF the world and other sources OF rev.
that there be doubt as to the be OF local people
the call OF the committee that has in charge today
campaign for contributions 49,, -,
70 m % Of Tulsa and the state Of Oklahoma all Tusans
what the International Dry Farming Con-
their city there would be no difficulty in raising even
when the talks today them with smile and
handshake and give what your municipal conscience dc
For today Tulsa expects every 10 his
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-11-30
SNEED Case COMES
TO AN end TONIGHT
ATTORNEYS FOR BOTH DEFENSE
AND STATE MAKE MASTER.
LY PLEAS TO JURY.

FORT WORTH. Texas, New. 20
The case OF John Beall Sneed, on trial
here for the murder Of Captain Al O.
Boyce. last January. will 90 to the
Jury at a night session saturday
night. Argument was commenced
Friday morning. three attorneys, two
for the state and one for the defense,
speaking.
Walter Scott, who spake for the
defense. termed Sneed the man
without a home" claiming that the
action Of Al Boyce. aided and abetted
by other members Of the family, de-
priyed him OF his home His appeal
to the jury was one II the most
touching ever heard here. being ex-
ceeded, it is said only by him in a
trial some time ago, when he was
defending a woman who was on trial
for shooting a woman who she calm
ed had alienated the affections OF
her husband At that time he sang.
Home sweet Home to the jury,
and an acquttal was returned
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-11-30
FINALLY LAND AKIN
IN THE COUNTY JAIL
GAVE HIMSELF UP, But COULI
NOT MAKE THE NECES-
SARY BOND.

NORMAN. Nov. 20.-Ollver II.
Akin, school teacher and ex-member
Of the Oklahoma legislature, Is In
jail hers tonight In default Of three
bonds OF $500 each. after being lib
Grated on one OF similar amount on
charge Of Issuing bad checks.
Akin said tonight he was kidnapped
IN Los Angeles BY two detectives
hurried into an automobile and de-
ilvered to Sheriff Ike Sales Of Cleye-
land county. Okla, forty miles out Of
Los Angeles. while no had habeas
corpus proceedings pending. Akin
promised not to attempt to escape II
permitted to return to Los Angeles for
his family. but the promise. he said
did not apply 10 his escaping from
the train near Amarillo, Texas He
went OF Lone Wolf Okla. and Mrs
Akin came TO Norman to arrange FOR
his bond
Akin. thinking bond in all three
cases had been provided, notified the
Cleveland county officers 10 come
after him. which they did November
20, and returned with him today.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-11-30
Preacher IS GUILTY
OF ROBB|KG A CRAVE
CHARGED WITH ROBBING GRAVE
OF AN INDIAN BURIED 50
YEARS AGO.

FORT SMITH, Ark. Nov. ca
Charged with robbing a grave, Rev.
G. w. Adkins. Baptist preacher. OF
Brazil. Okla, was found guilty by a
jury in the district court at Poteau,
Okla. today Adkins is SO years old.
Owing to his advanced years the jury
was unable to reach an agreement
upon the term Of Imprisonment for
him. adkins and three other men.
said to be members Of the same
church, We're indicted charged with
robblng the grave OK Willy Kincade.
an Indian. who died and was buried
near Brazil. 52 years ago. 1t was sup
posed that Kincade's relatives from
the traditions Of his race, buried sew
eral thousand dollars In the grave.
Kincade is said to have been one OF
the wealthiest Eastern Oklahoma In
dians Of his day.