University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1912-05-30
Snuff


tiOn on The Value of Water as a Pur
flying Agent, and then to take note
on extremely personal remarks mad,
by the fellows about the evil effects
of intrusion"
Hold on. fellows. I've got it,
Fatty" White. suddenly shouted
Then. turning to the dripping ere
ature in the tub, "'Snuff, you'll sta!
in that tub until you promise t.
spend all your time till the polls
close Saturday asking the men tC
vote for Ralph Wells for Student
President
Ralph Wells." the other fellows
gasped. And then the picture OF
bothersOme Snuff. officiously can.
vassing votes for Wells presented it.
self to them, and they shouted:
Wells is the man. You're a
brick. Fatty"
Snuff was sure that he really had
no preference in the matter. He
wanted to vote for the better man,
of course, and, if the Seniors advised
| him to work for Wells. they must be
/ right. Dripping and swearing never
to whisper what the Seniors had
asked him. Snuff was tenderly with
drawn from the tub. given dry
clothes, and, for the first time in his
college career. treated as a guest
For Pete's sake, don't let him
catch cold until the polls close"
Fatty" whispered. and offered to
lend Snuff his warmest muffler
Some of the men walked home
with Snuff. spoke encouragingly to
him. and left him with strict instruc-
tiOns to canvass all the ''DOrms"
except Senior, taking the Junior
Dorm" last.
Saturday arrived, and, according
to appointment, Fatty was wait
ing for Snuff near the polls. Soon a
bedraggled, tOrn-lOOking Snuff ap-
peared. One eye was completely
hidden by bandage of court plas-
ter and cotton. the other peered
forth from the midst of a black and
blue area. He had an ugly cut on
his lip. and one ear tapped dismal
ly. Fatty" approached the limping
figure, and, as he looked at 'Snuff's
many cuts and bruises. his heart
bounded with the sense of victory.
well. how's business. Snuff. old
bOy?"
Splendid. the other weakly ans
wered, Il have seen man in an alto
gether new mood. The Junior didn't |
even want me to help them get votes |
for Wells. Astounding. must ask
one of the psychology professors
about the matter really can't COM
prehend it," /
''Aw, they were joking, Snuff"
Fatty" lied.
could it be possible? | hadn't /
even thought of that. How ex-
tremely amusing. Tee. Hee. |
shall have to portray similar Incl
dent in my next short story
Now. Snuff. you just stand here
near the polls. holding this sign. and
then come to our Dorm this evening
for dinner, as my guest Fatty"
as he unwrapped a big
,ard. which he had been carrying
lnder his arm. 1t bore the words
N big letters. Vote for Wells
That evening. the polls being
'lOsed. Snuff went to the Senior
Dorm" for dinner. Fatty" was
:Ot there. but the other fellows well
'Omed Snuff cordially. The men
we're tense with excitement during
he meal. and seemed to be able to
make no other remarks than, why
loesn't Fatty" come? or Gee. |
wish | knew how it turned out
Just as the walters were lazily
Giving ice cream u Hlen WHO cOulO
hink of nothing but the result of
he voting. Fatty" burst in.
"Y' won. Billy. old boy. v won.
freshman and Soph'more DOrms
vent for you to the last man. Three
heers for Mckay. They were Civ
N. Now three cheers for Snuff"
he hall rang.
"But-but, gentlemen" exclaimed
he bewildered Snuff, "d-d-didn't
ou want Wells to be elected? IL
hought-"
Speech, Snuff, speech. ''the
appy crowd shouted. Whereupon
Snuff was lifted up on one of the
ables from which lofty position :
e managed to stammer out,
''I-I thank you most profusely for
our kind hospitality. men of the
enior Dormitory. but I must hasten
way tO COO h.hou tho dofootod oor