The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-28

"Well, anyhow, we won this tine," said Mir. Hennessy.
 We did that" said Mir. Dooey. It may be tn last time, but I'm glad iv it. l don't know why get so nthrested in these thngs-rne that cudden't roll, let alone run, hundherd yards an wud be sure to dhrop tn hammer on me toes if thryed to throw it. But I do. Why Is itl 1 ain't anything like as stirred up be our intel lechool conquests as I am be d New York polis- man peggin' tn hammer tn Tenth iv tn stajunn. There's colledge in Paris called tn Sourbun, an ivery year it asks pro-fssor firm this counthry to go over an give exhibition iv how high tn American mind can jump. Some iv our gr-reatest mintcl atheeets, with as much head above their spictacles as below thim, has enthered in these spoorts an done gr-reat honor to their native land But dye see me skimmin' tn pa-apers to find out what Dr. Sarybeum, pro-hssor iv tau tology at Raw university, has done to tn Frinch champeen? If I did chances ar-re I wudden't find it. Ye don't amy headlines in tn pa-apers, American Pro-fssor Grabs First Money at Sourbun.' Mo- sir I don't care whether he did or not. I wudden't mind if he was disqualified fir splSin' his opponent or speak in Latin through his nose But whn an Ameri- Cdl SOCS OFCl lO pulCl lOIClSHCI eye or -OW against him him off his feet set back in me rockin chair, read ivery line v tn reports, an give three cheers fir him. I'm proud to be riprisinted abroad be these young fellows Eu- ropeens usually get their dees iv America firm tn Americans they see trudgin' around th' churches readn little red books an steppin on tn heels iv old ladies sayin their pather an ayes, or cursin' tn hotels iv Rome because they can't get wthered bran fir breakfast, or tellin card- nal how much Saint Peters is like tn new coort- house at Wanskaloosa. I'd like to say: These boys that ye see hoppin around tn thrack ar-re tn rifle ripresintive Americans. They arc our anbassadures not tn la-ads ye see makin gnu- fixion befure tn king An tn foreigners wud look thim over an say: Whats tn use v maxim war again such tur'ible peope7 If we shud an fought Matt McGraw wud knock our heads off an if we run away Craig wud ketch us. Let us make peace with thin,.' Dear, o dear, Pdve liked to been in Stockholm whn Matt took tn ham, mer, dilicately, dye mind, between tn thumb an forehnger, give it graceful flourish around his head an Tipped it over into Norway. They say tn king iv Sweden tur-rned pale. What iocs that naughty man do whin he's at home says he. He's poisman, o king, says wan iv tn court yers. Thin says his majesty, I can undher- stand why tn Swedes so law abdin' iss America, he says"
 "Thim English pa-apers ought to be ashamed to be stirrin' up bad blood," said Mir. Hennessy
 It amounts to nawthin';" said Mr. Dooley. There's no hard feelin among tn la-ads that done tn sprintin'. Whin they've got throug, they go over to tn Dutchman's an break tfrainin' together.
 An says wan, I'm sorry spiked yc, Tim an says tn other, Twas nawthin'. It avcns up that kick give ye last year Spoorts, Hinnissy, is like war All tn excuses an all tin complaints ye hear come firm tn noncombytants."
 (copyright 1s12: By Finlsy Pstss Dnaa&l