The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1912-05-31
Fails to Name
Candidates

odtuIuay nlgEL ScOOpeQ the
republican party by holding the
national convention a month in
advance Of the time set for it.
The convention was held in a
downtown theater before a large
audience.
Taft, Roosevelt, LaFollette,
Cannon, Champ Clark, Wilson,
and even Clark's celebrated
'houn' dawg' were on the
stage. About $50 persons took
part in the performance. The
burlesque was in one act, it hav-
ing been announced that the club
would present in one act the
many screaming acts of the po-
itical leaders Of the day."
The curtain rose on a conven-
ton scene, with the temporary
chairman, newspaper men, tele-
graph operators and several dele.
cations in their places. A few
seconds later the New York dele
cation entered. They carried
banners inscribed Jim Jeffries
Thought So, Too" and 1--WE Are
for Big Built Aft The lone
Roosevelt delegation was tied
and blindfolded.
Roosevelt, clad in a cowboy
suit, # Flowed quickly. After
exclaiming Liars" he threw
his hat into the audience. Then
he described a chalk ring on the
stage and threw another hat into
it. In snappy sentences, he eX-
planned that he was not q candi-
date for the nomination and that
if he accepted it, he would have
to force himself to do so.
/ have gore all over the
country trying to stop this move
ment," he declared.
Roosevelt having retired, La
Toilette and the Wisconsin dele
cation appeared. After kicking
Roosevelt's hat out Of the ring,
La Toilette announced his plat
form, bearing greatly on the
Wisconsin, income tax, which, he
declared. gave men with large
families large tax exemptions.
If a man has ~ children,
Roosevelt pays him q co,npli-
nent: La Toilette pays him g
bonus, - said the speaker.
A message arrived for Roose-
welt and, upon being PACED, he
decided he had been nominated,
SO he re-entered the convention
and began to thank its members
for the great honor they had
thrust upon him. Informed Of
his error, he replaced his hat in
the ring and then departed
Amid great disorder, Cannon
rushed into the convention,
/ pushed the temporary chairman
from the platform and took UP
the gavel.
we must have harmony" he
shouted, even if we have to
fight for it,
The Ohio delegation arrived
with President Taft. He gave
Roosevelt's hat the customary
kick and made o speech.
Il am against the recall" he
said. L am exceptionally op-
posed to the recall of a president
after he is out. | find nothing
in the constitution about this out
agin', in agin' business and the
constitution must be preserved.
| don't want to move. | hope
every man who had to move May
l will vote for me-"
Champ Clark and his "dawg"
followed the next arrivals, the
divided Missouri delegation. The
dog kicked the hat from the ring
and for the insult suffered sew
eral kicks from Roosevelt, who
replaced the hat. Inquiry as to
what Clark was doing in a re-
publican convention brought the
reply that he wanted to obtain
Some pointers from the Roose-
welt faction on how to run the
Baltimore gathering.
! Both Governor Wilson and
Hearst who appeared after
Clark, knocked the hat out of the
ring with the result that Roose-
welt first glued it down and later
put brick under it. Eventually
Taft kicked the brick.