The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-24
ONE WOMAN
 TO ANOTHER
Cousin 'Phebe Knows the
 Happy Leap Year Couple What Woman Forfeits by Making the Advances.

Cousin Phebe, did you ever honest ly know of a girl who really and truly took advantage of Leap Year? Did you ever hear of one who made a bona fide proposal of marriage to some backward masculine admirer? ?''
 This question, unsigned, was in my mail this morning. It gives me an ex- cel1ent theme for our little heart to heart talks that I hope are helping us all on that mutual benefit plan that real condolences engender.
 Yes, grille, do know of a pro- posaI made by a woman Every day of his life, her husband is thankful that she possessed the courage that he lacked.
 She wasn't bold either, save in the sense that she was strong in her con viction that the happiness of two lives would be missed if she didn't speak out.
 Of course she was very certain that her proposal would be met half way. That makes all the difference in the world.
 For my part. Leap Year or no Leap year, don't think a woman ought to ask a man to marry her. You see it isn't at all likely she can also suggest supporting him; unless she is tre- mendously rich and can thus wipe out the general existing obligation of mar ital support, I believe she is embar- rassing a man by asking him to share
 
 To my way of thinking, she puts herself in the position of the young woman who orders so profusely, that the enjoyment of her society is for gotten in the mans dread that the check will be more than he is prepared to pay.
 I still retain the primitive feeling that woman is something to be sought and labored for. She should never put herself in the light of an unde- sirable luxury, that man cannot af- ford, thrust upon him by silly tradi- tion that once every four years posi- tions can be reversed
 Another thing. I don't believe men ever really make cut and dried pro- posals. Two people. generally under stand where matters are drifting. But even this understanding doesn't war rant the girl saying twill you?''
 Free samples are never appreciat- ed. What man gains without eff fort he rarely appreciates. Once irP a while there may be an exception, as in the case which my correspondents question brought to mind. But I cer- tainly do not advocate advances oD the part of any woman, beyond the that are essential qualities of the Eternal Feminine.
 I admit that modern thought has made a new position for woman. and that the suffragette is more and more a force to be reckoned with. But can't get away from the idea that old fashioned maidenIy reserve and a proper modesty are the supreme charms that bring a man most quick ly to a realization of his need of wom- ans companionship and love. They do all that can be done to inspire him to strive for it and be worthy of ft
 In the domestic recrimina tions that are bound to occur, even between those husbands and wives who declare they never have a word, a man can't under. existing conditions throw up to his wife that she asked him to have. her
 This thought must in many cases prove 8 strong factor in the wife's defence. But if she is determined to put herself in the place of the seek CT. rather than the sought, then she will forfeit the feminine privilege of saying, You asked mel didn't ask you to have me-
 COUSIN PHEBE