davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-30
CUPID VERSUS
TURK O'FALLON
BY. CLARENCE L. CULLEN

r1uE catch phrase of the sapstick comedian Of the
musical comedy this, AS a Romeo | m an
Il onion" Each time the comedian, rcbuffcd in the
action of the extravaganza by "showgrls and squads"
Ii oyc ruciu utcranCe to that Sclt-derOgatory line
IT, OFallon grinned broadly. And his grins. one
remembered always were broadest when the joke was
va .r7f ncar-funnvist" observed Turk when we were
taking q bite after the performance must have met
~. a.rralv or proXly, or SomnambulStlcaly or some
other way that don't know about. The near-iunny-
=. .f course was the aforesaid acrobatic comedian
ap.~yps YOU heard him mention several times that as
% rY,HariO ne was a Bermuda
nodded There never was any use in trying to bully
T.-~. into adhcrng to the letter of a quotation.
"Dr did he say, inquired Turk, that as LaunccIot
r-... knew. merely was his "staling" method Of
Grooming for the first strand of yarn. SO permitted
e.. FL. heap up whimsicaly distorted metaphors.
..,r perhaps" he went on, stimulating density "he
...- asa LOChinVar he was a lcmOn!'
~v..." | acQuicsccd And that as a Lutheran he
,,.. rgnum Vita. Also that a Lithuanian he was
-....air Then he remarked that a L'Aiglon he
WAS. mmmox This he topped off by declaring that as
a I.-.,G he liar.
.rra chimpanzcc's words, have quoted them,
v.-. these As Romeo I'm an onion, rebukcd Turk,
H.. ...s atwinklc. (Which Is why | am saying that
tr.. f..se-Iointcd harlequin must have cut my trail
s,.,rerc when | didn't know it. He never could
h... got a halt-NclSon on the gruehng meaning OF
tf.s words without knowing me; because, when It
e IS down to being the original onion in the role OF
E.... am the plus sign tackled onto the end OF the
l,.. .,lrc decimal When it comes to connecting with
C.3,t l am shot more full OF holes than the hombre
vh poses for the Signs of the Zodiac If Clcopatras,
As.,. Hclcns OF Troy, bent on matrimony, COM
rr TWO bits per gross T. o. b., I'd be there with one
aluminium tin tag, good when lrcandS free You de-
rive from this, hope, that as wooer am wen.
lizard luck Mcssmate," said dcrsively-to draw
II. pcaroon who, in his commerce with the fair
Gu. ..rlv "has a way with him., always denies that
,.-, .r.rcnt. 1t is the nonwinncr who boasts prob
-. cover his confusion One knew, without having
.-..--,l the Seven Seas with him, that Turk OFallon
WIS well liked by women. Such, however, was his un.
spoiled ~implicity-the naive simplicity often marked
r., .r. seasoned man of much craft but glile-that
h. surely dit no, know it. He did not even suspect It,
T his habit TO aver, with convincing air OF mclan-
..... .nat in all his wandcrngS in two hcmiSphcrcN
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-30

Panama for the troupe to which Susie attached
was not only dscouraging but disabling In the
city Of Panama itself the leading comedian, glanClng
through the pccpholc on the opening night, remarked
that ne could lick the entire audience all three OF them
But the manager liked the name OF Bucnavcnura, and
there he conveyed what remained OF the company.
Susie NcDcrnOtt was one of the most highly priced
remnants She did not Join the upbound dcscrtcrs at
Panama. for three reasons she was dead game, she
hadn't the upbound price. and she was too pucky TO
send please rcmit-bywlrc despatch to her patcrna
parent, who was the wcll-to-do but unimagnativc
Mayor of Tuscaloosa, Iowa.
The troupe was swept fore and aft by the green
of Indifference in Bucnavcntura, and 1t went to pieces
under this impact Of general aIooncSS SUSIE VINO had
cXccllcI at Spnntng at the Chicago lhlShlng SChC"
where she had learned The Languages and formed the
desire TO experience the glow Of the OOtghs, beat all
the rest Of the company to it in the race to the office OF
the American Consul at Bucnavcntura. The American
Consul proposed marriage TO Susie three minutes alter
she burst in upon him, refused. and in return re-
ccivcd SllScS proposition that she be shipped forth
with rs slow freight even ballast to any port OF the
United States after which, she told him, she would 90
the rest. The Consul renewed ms ofcr OIL IFcCWiatc
marimony. was called again, and then he inquired 81
Susie how she would like ob IN Bucnavcnjurt SUSIE
told him that Job her middle name Just then II she
could get chance 70 enough TO achieve the great
getaway TO the United States.
and so Susie before nghtfal was installed in the
fines, mouse i'm ucnaycntura, the same beng the home
the richest the west coas, OF Colombia SAID
bcgldcl houbrc then being senior Amaro Costa Bar.
rcto the main noise Of 'hc Colombia mahogany monop-
DIV who had his monugmmmcI cigarettes made 10y
the million in Egypt imported his palamas by the boat
load from Paris drove par Of gpIihtrncrscI aIi'n"
mules tandem. and tz-gggnI around generally I'D a
manner that was perfectly regardless. lie was VIII
over with four Young daughters and son OF nineteen,
the latter school IN Bogo'a and there were 81 most .
many servants IN his household as there were key on
the pianyla. Su-,'s job Was 20 teach the mahogany
nagnatcs progeny the airs and grt,c,, including the
EngIi,h tongue. salary one hundred dollars per month,
gold: accommodations. four au-iurnl.Ht r0u".,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-30

he had never been able to
come upon a woman who
would "have him." Nor was
this a mere method to keep
himself discntangled from the
matrimonial mesh. He be-
lievcd it, if nobody else did.
Hard luck is right" OBJ
served Turk, lodging the dc
rision. 81 am Hard Luck's
mcssmate. | never told you,
of course, how not-near |
came to trudging up to the
altar rail with the belle Of
Bucnavcntura?"
yes" | falsifcd. "IIcr
name was Ysobel Teresa, she
wore a facial armor of one
eighth of an inch of rice
powder, and smoked little
black cigars, and She
"Hcr name was Susie
McDcrmott," thrust in Turk,
"and you'd as soon have
thought Of suspecting powder
on a peach, a pomegranate,
or 4 Drlne as on the face of
Susan, which scorncd such
adventitious aids. As for
the little black cigars, no.
Susan's nicotine dish was
cigarettes, and plenty of them,
as became a maiden who had
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-30

been in several musical comedy choruscs. Susie
McDcrnott was the most beautiful blond young per
son. and the undizzcSt, that ever wore Surc-cnough
gold hair surrounding pair of perfect mazarinc lamps
Susie McDcrnott was as tall as Ellen Terry, eighty
years Younger and four times oatily graceful Susie
McDcrmott had a voice that sounded like the coolng
of pair of water hyacinths, and then again she could
tell YOU what YOU needed to know in voice that
sounded as busincskc the man on the bench giving
YOU thirty days in the House OF Correction. Susie
MCDcrmott-"
~Bucnavcntura is in the United States Of Colombia
isn't it," put in to throttle this rhapsody.
"Thats where Bucnavcntura is between tidal waves,
replied Turk. "1he tidal waves have a tendency to
shift Bucnavcntura down toward Peru; but"
And YOU expect me to believe that young blond
person, by the name OF Susie McDcrmott, former
chorus maiden presumably from the United States OF
North America regncd as belle OF all the dusky ones
in an important tropical seaport town on the Yves,
coast of the United States OF Colombian" observed
with crushing ncrcdulity.
Not only that, replied Turk unaggricycdly "bqt |
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-30

DEEDp I u.-II-.I IN IDr wIED
d Dl r,,.,. : c,,s;n Nile
81 SI, .i.., 80, . I.r r,;l,,r.
moi II'u '"h,il "i' ''' .h ',.,,,l.
III buyil"NGll'uI" 10y '''t ''..' ,.,,,
ana nQ'icIy '.ol's, .,;. ~, ' i.',
nf"hc li.cl(' i o,'s'o, a,'' h, .,.,,
inc 'IiJ ol az. J , o. ,,.,'' IN ,J
on d. 'i H., NV, .i'', n,n 81 those
(.,", 10 y ,''-I m ",,, nus,r,I
. ,[," o,,tfts fnrnrI with the
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-30

VNVVVV YOU % IVTIV7V IL, 7 ''''-'
4 chance to lead al Of this beauty
and brains before the padre and
make it my own. | estimate that
nv chance was fully one in
ninctv-scvcn trillions. | thought
the chance was larger at the time;
but the optimism OF youth
Turk executed a dcprccatory arm
flourish, then took up the thread:
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-23
HARMONY PLANS
 IN TENNESSEE
JOINT CONVENTIONS WORK OUT PLAN TO RE-UNITE DEMoc-
 RAcY OF THE STATE.
If This Plan Fails Another Conven. tion Will Be Held at Nashville
 on April 12.

Nashville. Tenn, March 22.-As the combined result of the two con- ventions here today of democratic politicians and. democratic editors of the state, harmony plan was adopt ed which it is hoped to reunite the discordant elements of the party.
 The net result of the meetings was the adoption of a resolution provid- ing for a state convention to be held at Nashville on May Is for the pur- pose of nominating a candidate for judge of the supreme court, judge of the court of civil appeals, the nomi- nation of presidential electors. the selection of delegates to the national convention and the selection of a new state committee.
 It was further provided that in the event that majority of the members of the two state executive commit tees ratify the proposed plan by April ,. that they shall constitute the har- mony democratic executive committee to direct party affairs until their suc- cessors are named.
 In the event majority Of the ex- ecutiye committee declines to ratify the agreement under another confer ence of democrats is to be held in Nashville on April 12 for the purpose of calling the convention and to ef- feet the reorganization of the party.
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-23
BURNS SCORES DETECTIVES.
Says Private Sleuths and Some Law
 yers Are Blackmailine Thieves.

Columbus. Ohio, March 22.-Detec- tive William J. Burns was the cen tral figure today at the trial of State Senator Isaac F. Huffman, accused of bribe taking.
 This was one case of series, one having ended in three-year sentence for Rodney Diegel. sergeant at arms of the senate, and another in convic. tion of State Senator Andrews, in whose case sentence has been de ferfed Burns testimony was devoted chiefly in trying to clear attacks on the reputation of his empioye, De tectiye Smiley, from whom Huffman is alleged to have taken a $200 bribe
 Burns was asked if he had made the following statement before the Lorimer Investigating committee il Washington:
 q consider private detectives th' biggest lot of blackmailing thievei that ever escaped justice"
 T did and l say so now" replied Burns, fairly shouting and rising iron his seat
 You swore to it then; will vol swear to it now2"
 T will, but l also added to tha statement that l sometimes included lawyers in the same class as l coulC hire certain of them to commit mur der
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-23
ROOSEVELT TO MAINE.
Win Address Mass Meeting at Port
 land Tonight.

New York. March Theodore Roosevelt left at o'clock this morn. ing for Portland, Maine, where he will spea!, tonight It ;st e mass meet ing. Colonel Roosevelt came up from
 Oyster Bay late in the evening after day at home where he busied him. self with preparation of the appeal he is to make to the voters of Maine on the eve of primaries in the state.
 Colonel Roosevelt was unaccom- panied save by party of newspaper
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-23
NEW AERoPLANE RECORD.
Curtiss Machine Meets Requirements
 of War Department.

Augusta, Ga. March 22.-What army officers declare is a record for aeroplanes was made by Aviator Walsh here this afternoon at the army camp with the Curtiss machine. built to meet special specifications by the war department. In an unfavorable wind Walsh ear ried fuel ample for four hours fly ing, weighing 1S0 pounds, 4So pounds added weight, an aggregate load of i 660 pounds on the biplane, and climb ed to an altitude of BIO feet in sever minutes
 The final test of the list of speci fications which required an altitude
 of POGO feet with this weight an' amount of fuel in 10 minutes will bi | made at College Park, Md.
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-23

men. He will he met in Boston by Medill Mccormick, who will have the coloneIs trip from Boston to Port land in charge. The colonel will spend only a few hours in Portland, leaving at l o'clock Sunday morning and reaching New York on the re- turn trip that afternoon. He plans to go direct to Sagamore Hill and remain there until starting on his western trip Tuesday
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-23
TEXTILE WORKERS ACCEPT,

Fall River, Mass, March 22.-There will be no strike in the Fall River rriiiiis Monday. rnIs was definitely decided tonight when the members of the. five unions affiliated with the textile council voted unanimously to accept the advance of 10 per cent in wages rendered by the manufacturers
 Thousands of operatives are repre- sented in the unions which accepted the raise. They previously had re
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-23
Because:

Williams, Chicago Mir. and Mrs. Rob- ert NJ. Foster and Miss Virginia Eos ter, St. Louis; Jules Hurtig, New York; w H Whitford, Indianapolis; Donald w. Connor and Hiss Helen N. Connor. Marshfield. Wis. Mir. and Mrs. Richard Shell and Frank Lewis, Clinton. H.. D. F. Clark, Alexan- dria La
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-23
ARLINGTON HOTEL ARRIVALS.

Yesterdays arrivals at the Arling. ton hotel included MT and Mrs D. S Clark, Eau Claire. Wis; William T Bailey, Duluth, Minn. MT and Mrs. E. s. Benson, Chicago: Mir and Mrs. w L, Ross. Chicago MT. and Mrs. A. Kelly, Winnipeg Mrs A. c
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-23

Word was received last night that Mrs. Pindall. mother of ex-Governor X. 0. Pindall. is critically ill at her home in Little Rock, and not expect ed to survive the day
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-23

iected an offer of per cent increase.
 M. c. D. Borden. controlling the seven mills of the Fall River Iron Works company, announced an ad
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-23

vance of 10 per cent earlier in the week and 35 other corporations. con Trolling 100 mills, followed the lead today.
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-23

hn recon. know that We cah
 a6 cents |fsts hays |afn 1t y@ |eept s0p'' |s~ for y0H bottle
 tG5SsSSssls' 1T
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-17
BUTTE MINING DISTRICT.
Much Development Work Done During
Fast Twelve Months,

Butte.-The 1912 report Of state
Mining Inspector Walsh contains the
following:
"lu no year IN the history ~ the
Butte district has SO much work IN
the nature of development been done
as during the past twelve months. A
vast territory to the north Of the cop
per zone has been explored and has
proven TO carry extensive ore bodies
in copper. silver, gold and large per
centage Of zinc. The development ex
ceeded 10y J7cs even the large amount
of work that was done four or Ave
years ago during the height ofthecop
per boom, when score of new com
panies were engaged I'M developing
new mines The past year the small
and numerous companies were out Of
II with the exception of a few, and the
work was confined TO the large com
panies, which are doing extensive de.
velopment on the several properties
controlled by them. A great change
has taken place In Silver Bow county
by electricity taking the place OF
steam. which will in the future add TO
the life OF the camp by at least 20
years 10y cheapenng the cost Of pro
auction by which low grade ores can
he mined at a profit which otherwise
would remain untouched by the pres
ent system Of mining. While II is inn
possible for even an estimate OF re
liable character to be given of the cost
of production until after electricity has
entirely taken the place of steam. It
has been estimated that there will be
reduction in the cost of production
of a cent per pound OF copper pro-
duced."
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-17
CONSIDER u. S. As MEDIATOR
But It's Distance From Scene
May Prevent Its Selection
ACTION BY GREECE AN OBSTACLE

London Dec l1.--rhc credentials
Of the peace Delegates of the Balkan
allies and rurNey give theu rud row
er as plenipotentiaries. Thoy eau
conclude and sign peace This point
was made clear when the delegates
met this pring to commence the
serious business Of The gathering. The
meeting lIs,cl less than two hour,
aud adjourned for the day before !
o'clock.
Contrary To yesterdays procedure,
when all the delegates lunchcd to-
scthcr, the Turks today went 10 lunch
at their hotel while the allied col
leagues remained in the palace.
Greece Not In Accord.
An obstacle was encountered at to.
day session. The absence of Greecc's
signature to the armsticc was Tho
cause ot The hitch. Tho delegates ad
iourned until Thursday without ar-
tcctinG any real business.
- - eiAh'io oAbbh INV liiNAi Nl llli
Turkish plenpotentiaries do not au.
tiforiac them to recognize the Hellenic
delegates unless Greece signs the ar
misticc, and therefore they are
Obliged to refer the matter to Con
stantnoplc. Thc Balkan allies also
viii communicate with their home
governments.
rhe Greeks refused to sign the pro
togol TO-DAY, pointing out that IT will
make no practical difference as the
allies were united and the decisions
reached 10y the R.lkau league will bc
binding On Greece equally with other
members of the federation
United States as Mediator
Speaking on the subject OF foreign
mediation in Balkan affairs, Stoian
Novakovtch. head OF the Serviau del
cgation, said.
The choice of the United States
as a mediator would be an excellent
one The only fears are the distance
Of the United States from the scene,
snd It's lack Of knowledge of the DIFF
terent complex problems agitat.ng the
Balkan people might hamper It's ac-
ton"
Novakovich thinks the hest man
to carry out the work of mediation
successfully Is Premier Polncare Of
France, who has paid so much disin
tcrested attention to the Balkan con
f1gration
Another Naval Baltic,
Scdil- Rahr. Dardancllca. Dec. L.
another naval battle was begun by
the Turkish aud Greek llects this
morning outside the entrance To the
Dardanellcs, The firing is very heavy.
How many vessels are engaged Is not
known
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-17
GOV. WILSON IN
FIGHTING MOOD.
Will Block Plans of Old Political
Ring In New Jersey

Trenton n. j.. Dec. l7.-Gov. Will
son came back to the state house in a
lighting spirit and issued warning
to the voters of the state against the
politicians who opposed his progress
i've policies, aud who. he said would
again seek control or the state gov
ernmeat as goolsS as he stepped from
the governorship. lie urged their
plans nc blocked az once.
Il have been surprised" says the
statement, by the numerous inquiries
as To whether | would continue TO take
tn interest in the political affairs of
the state after assuming the duties OF
president yet | realize the significance
of these Inquiries.
II shall i'm the future use every
proper legitimate power ! have aud
every influence at my disposal 60 sup
port and assist the new forces which
have rcgencratcd our public life i'm the
past two years. | understand my duty
is TO stand back of the progressive
forces in the Democratic party every
where and at every juncturc"
Another Threatening Letter.
Newark. n. j., Dec. 17--Auother let
ter threatening Woodrow Wilson with
oeath If he failed to deposit the money
designated at o certain place. was re
ceived recently by one of his secretar-
les II was unsigned and was mailed
from New York on Dec. 12.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-17
CARTON OF EGGS CARRIED
nv MAIL SOME t,5oO MILES

Washington Dec 17-Demonstrat-
Ing the possibilities of the parcels
post, a carton OF eggs. shipped by mail
from Oklahoma CITY distance of
1,500 miles, was received uniniured to-
dsv by Postmaster General Hitch
cock Shipments Of eggs by mail are
prohibited until January when the
parcel post becomes operative The
postal authorities were pleased with
the success OF the experiment
The eggs wrapped in cotton and
paper, and placed one in each Of the
divisions found IN the ordinary egg
carton. were merely marked "Mer.
chandise" and received the usual
treatment accorded ordinary mail
matter Eggs. however. according TO
the rules promulgated for the con-
duct Of the new service. must he
marked Eggs" and naturally viii be
carefully handled.
After New Years daily delivery OF
eggs to city residents from the coun-
try viii be the rule rather than the
exception.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-17
MILLIONS ARE ON DEPOSIT
Large Amount Is Loaned Out on
Stock Exchange Securities
TAFT MAKES APPOINTMENTS

Washington, Dec 1.-THE money
trust committee resumed it's hearings
today with Frederick Lewlssohn Of
New York on the stand.
Mr. Lewissohn answered certain
questions. which yesterday he declined
10 answer in connection with opera
tions in California petroleum stock.
The attraction Of money from small
banks in the country 10 New York
City when the money market shows
hiPh rate for loans was taken up.
J. b. Niven, accountant for the COM
mittee. presented q mass Of statistics
showing money was held for country
banks i'm 81 New York city banks and
trust companies, and the amount OF
money loaned on stock market securi-
ties in New York for these country
correspondents. The figures showed
190l5 accounts for country banks in
New York institutions. In the g.
banks on November / the country
banks had on deposit four hundred
and eignty-three millions. and in ad-
dition had loaned on stock exchange
securities two hundred and forty mill
lions. At that time, Niycn said, the
money market YVES high.
on July !, with money easy, the
country banks had only one hundred
and forty-one millions out in stock
exchange loans.
Flynn Heads Secret Service.
F'lynn Of New York, was today ap-
pointed chief Of the United States se-
cret service.
President Taft nominated Claude
Grant of Illinois 10 be consul at Ese-
nada, Mexico; and John r. Jewell, Of
consul a Tsingtau. China.
Names Industrial Commission.
Taft sent TO the Senate the nomi-
nations Of nine members Of the indus
trial commission created by Congress-
to investigate the relations of labor
and capital. The men named are:
Representing the people senator
Sutherland, Utah; George B. Chand-
Ter, member Of the Connecticut legis-
lature; Charles Simon Barrett Of
Georgia president Of the farmers
union
Representing captal-Frederick A.
Delano, president Of the Wabash rail-
road Adolph Levissohr, New York
and philanthropist; IT, G.
Missouri. electrical en-
sineer
Representing labor. Austin Gar
retson, Iowa president Of the Order
1f Railway Conductor. John b Len
non, treasurer and james o'Conncl.
vice president Of The American FED
ar1tion of Labor
The commission Will choose its own
chairman.
Uslrq Urcle Sam Unjustly.
In the Senate today Kenyon spoke
,n the Interstate liquor shipment bill.
KENYON displayed a circular issue
,f mail order house. bearing the
words "Unclc sam is our partner
ls an illustration OF the extent 10
which, he said, the United States IS
implied as taking part m the violation
If local prohibition laws in dry
5tates.