The labor journal. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1909-1976, 1912-07-26
WHAT WILLIAM JENNINGS DID
TO THE BALTIMORE CONVENTION
A SEMI HUMOROUS ACCOUNT OF THE STRENUOUS DoINGS
OF THE BOURBON LEADERS IN WHICH MIR. BRYAN
HOLDS THE WHIP HAND-READ FORWARD AND BACK
WARD AND SEASON WITH YOUR OWN SALT.

the telegraph companies began to reap
golden harvest from the frightened
democrats "back home" who sent mes
sages to their chosen representatives, to
resist with all their power this fiendish
attempt to throttle liberty. If they
couldn't see their way clear to do this,
the messages said, they were requested
to remain in Baltimore the rest of their
days or run the risk of being tarred and
! feathered and carried on rail if they
dared to show their faces in Cohosh or
wheresoever they hailed from.
Just as they were breathing easier
after the first batch of telegraphed in
dignation and peremptory orders, Will
lam delivered the second instalment by
offering his now memorable resolution;
inviting Messrs. Ryan and Belmont to
go away from there and pledging the
party not to nominate any one who
owed them money, marbles or chalk or
who believed that they were otherwise
than direct descendants of the Accuser
of the Brethren. That finished them for
all offensive purposes and then he landed
the knockout or bacon producing punch
by leaving Hon. Champ Clark for hav-
ing accepted the support of New York.
They couldn't get away from his blows.
Like the more or less punk pugilist who
was receiver general for a fine fusillade
of wallops, their feet suffered" Hon.
Champ fell exactly 1000 feet and
inches straight down into oblivion, emit
ting loud cries as he whizzed bottom
ward Now Bryan was on to Clarks
game for months and months. He was
aware that there was a deal on right
here in Ohio with the Harmon outfit
which kept the speakers name off the
preference primary ballot. The proof
came when Clark came rushing over from
Washington and in his rage demanded
to know "why Ohio had not kept that
agreement" What agreement? For an
answer please address a postal card
to the now closed Harmon headquarters
here. Clarks action was water on his
wheel So was the blistering attack of
John B. Stanchfield of New York, re-
ferring to. him as a lot of things that
were extremely 'un nice" William
simply smiled inscrutably. Inside the
convention hall John B. was hailed as a
hero. Outside of it he was regarded as
a demon with pronged horns, cloven
hoof and a long and prehensile TAIL
General result: More telegrams in
punches, baskets and bales.
After that it was cakewalk. The
bosses whose heads were not completely
swathed in adipose tissue began to take
counsel with themselves They were
hearing the thunder and seeing the
lightning If there is anything the poll
tician despises and fears it is getting
caught out in a shower of popular IN
dignation. Up went the umbrellas one
by one, and one by one the bosses began
scooting for shelter
Like the penitent thief on the cross
they sent word to Bryan to remember
them when he came sin to his king
dom" On the exterior they pretended
to be brave but on the interior their
cowardly natures were at work. Bryan
or Wilson was the ultimatum that the
people were sending, and their teeth
were chattering lest the chance to act
would get away. They saw to it that it
did not. There was fine Chunk" play
over releasing delegates from their
obligations" That was the slapstick
number on the program. The fact was
that the delegates were releasing them
selves, and doing it, doing it, doing it.
Each boss. bosslet and bossikin was
watching the other so that there should
not be any advantage gained in hopping
across the line. SO all at once, on the
forty sixth ballot, Mr.. Bryan, calmly
tanning himself with an evening news
paper, watched with twinkling eyes the
whole herd bolting through the gap in
the fence he had opened. All the power
of the bosses, all their tricks and all of
their money had resulted in naught.
I One man with gImption and sand had
whipped the entire gang. And that man
laughed at them