davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1912-09-04

fortunately almost as smooth as a
lake. 1t soon reached the swimmer
, who was now supporting himself on
a life preserver and holding the wO
mans head out of the water They
! were drawn into the life boat and it
headed for a gangway that had been
hastily lowered forward. Within sew.
en- minutes from the time it had hit
the water the lifeboat was at the land
ing stage; two minutes later the ship
was again moving ahead at full speed
All together, the physicians were try
ing to resuscitate the woman within
less than twenty minutes of the mo-
ment she left the rail.
To complete the story, the woman
could not be restored to consciousness
although every known method was
used during the two hours of effort
Young Jordan needed no medical at
tel4tion, but assisted in trying to re.
vive the body that he had risked his
own to save.
Shy as a schoolgirl, the recognized
hero of the boat kept out of sight for
several days, but the passengers de-
clined TO let him sink back into OBJ
security. 1t was quietly announced
that two gentlemen would wait in the
dining saloon after luncheon on a GER
tain day and would receive contribu.
| tons from those who desired to pre-.
sent to the rescuer watch as a me-
mortal. The response was so quick
that the TWO men found themselves
with 500 on hand, and they had to
cable to New York for watch ex-
pensive enough to exhaust their funds.
1t met the ship at Honolulu as the
cruise was nearing it's end.
Mr. Jordan was invited to step into
the dining saloon one afternoon after
the ship sailed. He found himself
confronted by almost the entire pas
senger list and in the presiding Off
GERS chair was former Governor Gray
of Alabama.
Ladies and gentlemen" said the
governor, you will all agree with me
that, as rule, great heroism requires
great incentive. Napoleon himself
had a world to conquer; the intrepid
Grant was saving republic, the
greatest that has ever been or ever
will be; the chivalric Lee was repell-
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1912-09-04

ing an army from his own home and
that OF his forefathers; the gallant
Hobson saw brilliant promotion
ahead of him.
"In the instance that we meet here
today to reward this condition was
lacking. There was no hope of re.
ward, no alluring benefits to be gain
ed. large party of people on
strange sea-a cry of Man overheard!
"a speck of humanity floating upon
the waves, and then this young man
offered his life as freely as ever life
was offered. 1t was indeed as heroic
as it was brave and as brave as it
from inspired lips that Greater love
hath no man than this, that he lay
down his life for his friends"
Then he handed to. the young man
one of the most beautiful watches
that were ever made and babe him
wear it as wOrthily as he had won it.
In it is this inscriptions:
ITO Marcus Jordan, from his fell
Ilow passengers upon the steamship
Cleveland, for distinguished bravery
in the Strait of Banka on December
16, 1911"
The young man, blushing like girl
graduate, took the watch and started
to express his appreciation. Half way
through the first sentence he broke
down. The passengers went quietly
out, with the assurance that there had
been no lack of appreciation.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1912-09-04

shark caught sight of your legs dang
ling in the water"
How long would it take you to
pick me up?"
Ten or fifteen minutes in a smooth
sea like this
$50 long as that"
did you ever notice how long it
takes street car to stop after the
brakes are applied? Place steam
er alongside of an electric car and
Judge of it's momentum when it is 60
ing at full steam ahead. 1t would re-
quire four or five minutes to stop the
Roadway, with both engines reversed
Then it would take another five min
utes to back"
But why not swing the ship
around in a big circle and save
time?"
Because it doesn't save time. You
can't manoeuvre 1900 ton ship like
birch bark canoe. We should stop
and back because that would be the
quickest way to bring us alongside"
Then the lifeboat doesn't start for
me until you have backed and stop
ped?"
That's the idea exactly"
Then l think see my finish" said
| the passenger.
"Not necessarily" said the chief
officer, but you would be a very wet
man by the time we had you fished
OUT
The passenger took another look
over the rail at the foaming current
that was rushing madly past the side
of the ship-and hoped down to the
deck
A few days later the passenger had
the unusual though melancholy op-
portunity of witnessing exactly what
would have happened if he had lost
his balance and fallen headlong into
the seat. The logbook record of the
incident-a suicide at sea, thrilling
rescue of the body by fellow passen.
ger and the picking up of both by the
lifeboat-is not very Illuminating but
it is terse and definite:
1855 P. M.-News reaches the
bridge.
1:59-The reversed engines have
stopped Roadway.
2:O3-The ship, at full speed astern
is opposite the body.
2:O6-The ship stops and lifeboat
is in the water.
2:13-The lifeboat is again along.
side with the body.
2:15-Full steam ahead.
Rarely has such an accident hap.
Dened with so dramatic setting. 1t
was last December, in the Java Sea
just south of the equator, about halt
way between Singapore and Batavia
THE famous belt line of the old earth
had been crossed about eleven the
night before, and Triton, Prime Minis
ter to Neptune, had come aboard in
a blaze of calcium to notify the cap
tain that the Lord of the Sea would
himself board the ship at O'Clock
the following day in order to see that
the faint of the northern hemisphere
was washed from it's passengers in
the baptismal tank. Since it was the
steamship Cleveland, cruising around
the world with five hundred pleasure
seekers, the announcement put ev'
erybody in a frolicsome mood.
Thought It Was Joke.
Never was an hour set apart by the
traditions of the sea for comedy and
buffooning more quickly turned into
one of dramatic action and tragedy
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1912-09-04

Suppose the ship should give a
roll and you should lose your bal
ance?" said the chief officer to the
man sitting on the rail.
ooh, you would spring after me-"
81 would do nothing of the Sort
s'What would you do?"
81 should throw out a life preserv-
er and then run to the bridge to stop
3he ship"
"Then l should grade the life pre-
server and hold on until you did
come laughed the passenger.
"By the time the life preserver hit
the water" said the chief, you would
be one hundred and fifty yards
astern. Ever try to swim that far
with your clothes on in a seat that is
slapping you in the face and filling
your mouth and eyes with brine?'
mo, but think could make it,
And suppose that were not stand
ing here when you went over?"
1'Oh, somebody else would throw
out the cork"
''Who, for instance?"
81 don't know That's the steam
ships business, anyway"
do you think We keep a man stand
ing all the time on each side of the
vessel with life preserver in his
l1ands OF course not The chances
ARE that you would be good deal
further astern before anybody got the
preserver over the rail-"
But wouldn't the officer on the
bridge throw it?''
''How is the bridge to see what is
happening back here when he is scan
ming the horizon ahead?"
''But would he not look over the
side when he heard the splash?"
splash" exclaimed the chief Of
ficer. do you know how much of a
splash you would make if you went
over? Just about as much as that
timed goods box that the cooks gal
ley has just thrown over We hear
splashes like that all day."
"'But l thought there was always a
lifeboat ready to go after man." ex
postulated the passenger.
$50 there is, but lfeboat does not
go plunging into the sea after a man
o{oh y i'm, Axy hofo
he hits the water. Besides, take a
look at those lifeboats. They are
all covered over with canvas to pro
rect them from the weather, and after
the canvas comes off they must be
swung over the side. 1t takes men to
do that"
1'But I should think you would have
somebody ready to do that"
eve have. Every boat on this ship
has it's crew, and every man knows
exactly his place. But those men are
at other work all over the ship, and
it takes time for them to get to their
posts. Even if they were standing
there, ready to jump in, the lifeboat
could not go directly into the water.
"Why not?"
BECAUSE it would be swamped. This
very ship lost five of it's crew once
in just that way, and the ship was
at slow speed, too. The rule now is
that the steamer must stop before the
boats hits the water"
''And by that time where would
be-" asked the passenger dismally.
Probably mile astern, if you
were still afloat And if you had man
aged to reach the life preserver, you
would be wondering if the lifebOat
would reach you before a hungry
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1912-09-04
What Happens When You Fall
Overheard at Sea


The following article written by Edgar Allen Forbes and
appeared in the New York Herald Of August 2 The paper
handed by Dr. L. NJ Coon and readers will be douby interest
they article witnessing
overheard of a who board the "Ceveand
the boat on which DR.. Coon around the world.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
SMILE AWHILE
Careless of Her

Jimmie Britt, not the pugt-
list, but the circus man, tells
a story illustrating how soft
hearted and sympathetic
some of the ringmasters are
when acrobats get hurt. The
heroine of the story was a
girl who did the four-horse
act, the six-horse act, the
trapeze and the flying bar,
for all of which she received
the princely remuneration of
$40 week.
One day she fell forty feet
from the trapeze, and, land
ing precipitately and ill-ad-
visedly on her left wrist,
broke the bone near the ell
bow. The ringmaster ran up
and sympathized as follows,
with certain profane re-
marks, which are here ex-
cluded:
What in thunder do you
mean by falling out of that
trapeZe? I'm a son of a gun
if some of you ginks don't
try to put a crimp into this
show every time we lift the
tent! Popular Magazine.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
This Is How We Elect President Of This Nation

ballots at all. In their places are
electors never mentioned In the
campaign.
The electors number as many
as there are u. s. senators and
representatives combined In the
state.
After they are chosen they
meet and vote for president and
vice president.
They are not bound to vote for
anyone particular. but generally
do vote for the party nominees.
The vote is sent to Washing
ton and opened by the president
of the senate in joint session OF
both houses.
II candidate has a majority
he is declared elected.
IL no one has a majority by
reason OF the electoral vote be-
ing split between three or more
candidates. then the house of
representatives elects the presi-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
editorial PAGE Of Che Cacoma Cimes
BOB HODGE AND HAY

spoke a Valhala all
Bob Hodge Moose hall Monday night.
last night I
filled
hall and chairs themselves at the Bob Hodge meeting
The audience the Hay meeting shrank the
The crowd the Bob Hodge meeting wanted
w
AS well anything in this campaign the sentiment of the people
shown this unmpont invitation Gov Hay last night for the
leone front"
They did after being invited.
rush
Vahala hall holds full Cover Hay.
Moose hall holds 1900 and packed to hear Hodge
backed
republican ticket, could fill small Valhalla hall.
Bob Hodges meeting
hall jammed.
All these things indicate things clearly
The sympathy of the S with Bob
The do consider Governor Hay of them.
They rank back around the door at the Hay but
right to the stage at the Bob Hodge meeting.
Probably thought why
But the felt by intuition which that
Bob Hodge of them They wanted him.
And they felt by that instinct that
the he belongs another
back around the door,
1t a powerful object lesson the
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
Dustin Farnum Isn't Bit Aesthetic, He
Is Devoted to Corned Beef and Cabbage

He was waiting for Mrs. Far
mum TO come down to supper,
and Mr.. Farnum leaned back
against the desk at the Tacoma
hotel and talked of many things
during those few minutes.
TO talk with Dustin Farnum
is to like him immensely, al
though he did speak with just a
hint of Righteousness of his last
visit to Tacoma. Mr.. Farnum
isn't fond of earthquakes, and he
experienced one the last time he
stopped at the Tacoma hotel
'No SIR" said Mr.. Farnum,
after he had expressed a regret
that so many miserable produc-
lions were forced upon the peo-
pie during season, there never
will be national theater. The
American public is too tickle.
but most of us will live to
see a wonderful change in the
theatrical business. The West
will have theatrical center as
the East has in New York. The
same plays will be produced by
competent people in both places
simultaneously, and travelling
companies will go East from the
Western play center as far as
Salt Lake or Denver, and the
New York companies will come
West that far.
There are too many theaters.
They should be decimated. Then
give the companies longer run
with the really good shows. 1t
would mean the lessening of
bad ones.
American audiences are
much more critical than those of
Europe, l find. They demand
that you shall meet their expec-
tations every minute-no relying
on a reputation goes in America,
you must produce the goods
every night.
II saw all the theaters in
Paris when 1 was there, and l
will say that IL those same
shows had been produced in Ell
lensburg, say, they would have
been ridden out of town.
"We played in Bellingham a
few nights ago. Nice little
town, isn't it? All built on
the water. Why, the orchestra
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
K1ecting q presidents an aw-
FIJI Job for Uncle Sam.

Electing q presidents an aw-
FIJI Job for Uncle Sam.
Here Is how IL Is done:
Early presidential year cifi-
Eeua I'm the precincts pick dele
gates to q county convention.
The county convention meets
and picks delegates to q state
convention.
The state convention elects
delegates to the national conven-
TIM.
And the national convention
names the candidate.
Then begins the long CAM
paign for Taft. Wilson, Debts,
CAafin, Roosevelt or whoever
gh8 candidates may be.
Election day is the first Tues
dxy after the first Monday in
November.
Women voters first participant
fnx will be surprised to find the
caudidafes' names are not ON the
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
ALMOST A MIRACLE.

One of the most startling
changes ever seen in any man, ac-
cording to w. B. Holsclaw, Clar-
endon, Tex, was effected years
ago in his brother. "He had such
dreadful cough" he writes,
that all our family thought he
was going INTO consumption, but
he began to use DR.. Kings New
Discovery, and was completely
cured by ten bottles. Now he is
sound and well and weighs 218
pounds. For many years our fam
lily has used this wonderful rem
edy for Coughs and Colds with
excellent results" It's quick,
safe, reliable and guaranteed.
Price SO cents and 800. Trial
bottle free at Ryner Mafstrom
Drug Co., 938 Pacific avenue.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30

dent. selecting him from the five
having the largest vote.
For this vote each state has
but one vote, the congressman
in each state deciding among
themselves for whom they will
vote.
The senate elects the vice presi-
dent in the same manner.
Both are inaugurated the
fourth day of the following
March.
No wonder Uncle Sam gets
weary of elections and is agftat-
ing for election by a direct vote
of the people who will settle 1t
all in one day.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
As q Boy Sees It

Here is a contribution by
a boy of fourteen, printed
verbatim in one Of the pop
nlar magazines, as to what he
thinks the easiest way for a
man to understand his boy:
eff q man wants to learn
the ways of his boy, he must
find out what he likes to do
or play.
His father must not be
finding fault with a boy IL
he does wrong. But he must
tell him he has done wrong
and try to explain to him
what wrong he has done and
tell him to try and not do 1t
again.
"If he is like most boys, he
will want to go swimming and
to the circus; his father must
take him.
eff he likes to play baseball
or football or wishes to go to
any other sports, his father
must take him.
"If the father is kind to
the boy, l am sure that the
father and the boy will have
a good time together. In that
way a man can learn the
ways of his son."
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
NIX ON A NEW JOB

Mills he doesn't about his street railway
the
railway
his
dsendth to the for
The really practical thing simply after
But they need about thirty And they will service
until they get them.
that department
awnaing
lot results if they business.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
Her Fighting Clothes

A certain matron alludes
to a certain gown of hers as
her quarrel dress"
81 always wear it," she ex-
plains, when l have had a
quarrel with my husband"
But why do you call 1t a
quarrel dress?"
Because it is the only
gown l have that doesn't
button in the back. Conse-
quently l don't have to call
on the old crouch to help
me-" - Louisville Courier
Journal.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
- The City p D.
szzzlsa RntA Dream
'AS"o" DY DEPTON LN2ALEY
DY DEPTON

/ wish I had a farm, a comfy little farm,
Where life of charm;
Somewhere the a maybe;
The absolute locations imIpateria @ me,
Although 1t must be nearS yes comfortably near
A likely big metropolis that's full of life cheer
Electric lights power warm;
/ wish 1 had farm, a modest little farm,
wouldn't for
I'd like to have trolley line that before the
/ weary of the town, the busy dizzy town!
/ want little rural place where l settle down.
I wish 1 had farm, nifty little farm,
With herds of and chickens and with
oh, wouldn't 1t be grand, Just wonderfully grand,
To gain honest living by the tillage of the land!
wouldn't mind the irl, + wouldn't shirk
The job of being farmer--tf would 10 the work.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30

Mistress - Really, cook,
what have you been doing?
Seven o'clock-and the rab-
bit not put ON yet!
Cook-Can't 'elp 1t, ma'am;
/ never knew anything to take
so long to pluck in my life
Sketch.
3@4@@4@1H114@@ @1444@@@A
, ST. PAUL-Girls who APP Z
, peared in hobble skirts to- q
, day to participate in the Uni .
> versity of Minnesota outdoor 9
> games were barred. Wide g
, skirts We're insisted upon. 9
GW@M@NMHMHN MNNHNAHDAsNAs
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30

Severe Father = Rather
inc, what is the meaning of
the diamond ring on your
finger?
Willful Daughter 1t
means, papa, that Jack has
something to ask you that it
will do no good to refuse
Boston Transcript.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
Frost, republican candidate for con.

gressman-at-large, admits he is wool
en- mill magnate and wants high tariff
on clothes. Now wouldn't he be a fine
one to send to Washington to "revise
tariff downward.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
Rash Youth

Sonny-Aw, pop, l didn't
wanter study arithmetic.
Pop-What! A son of mine
grow up and not be able to
figure up baseball scores and
batting averages? Never!-
Chicago Daily News.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
Manager Bean says the T. R. & P.

will have ten new cars here within a
month to help remedy the wretched SER
vice. 1t would be well, perhaps, if Bean
would bolster up few of the decrepit
cars on the 18th street ine-they are in
imminent peril of falling apart, as it is
now.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
Tacoma public morals officer comes

back from convention of the "police-
women" of the Pacific Coast with the
startling intelligence that parents are
to blame for the waywardness of boys
and girls. Let's see, that doesn't seem
to jibe with the Pensions-for- Mothers
plan, does it7
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30

Friend (congratulating the
poet) Now your dream il
realized. You have become
immortal.
Poet-Yes; now I can die
In peace.-Pele Mele.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
It Takes Time

Peck-You will never get
the dog to mind you, my
dear.
Mrs. Peck-I will, with
patience. You were Just as
troublesome yourself at first.
Boston Transcript.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30

"a real lady called here to-
day."
what for?"
"From the church. oh,
my, she was a lady?"
Heightened, eh?"
Eyes, sir. She admitted
that she didn't know a thing
about bringing up a baby"
Detroit Free Press.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
If Govnor Teats wants to be elected

II G0Vn0r TeatS Wants TO be elected
unanimously he ought to get Louis f.
Hart, his republican competitor for
lieutenant governor to talk all the time.
Louis will make more votes for the pro-
gressive party than all their own spell
binders.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30

Mrs Tod Sloan, wife of the once fam
GUS jockey, secured divorce from her
husband yesterday and Sloan announc-
ed that he will now go in for aviation,
apparently not caring what happens to
him now. What tender tribute to his
ex-wife!
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30

Bflly-Pa, what Ia an
abridged dictionary"
Pa-One that always has
the word you want to look
up omitted.-Judge.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30

do you think it helps
any with a girl to tell her
she's the first woman you've
ever loved?"
Eyes; IL you happen to be
the first liar she's ever
met."-Baltimore American.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
D'You Want This Dollar?

Don't be backward with your jokes about the
dear old motherinlaw; the best one sent in before
Saturday will earn one dollar prize.
Your wheeze about this much-respected relative,
this paragon of the home fireside need not be orig
inal the shorter the better.
Be sure to add your name and address to your con-
tribution, but if you are afraid of your mothern-
law. Just say So and your will not be printed.
Just address the JOKE EDITOR of the Tacoma
Times.
HIS REPLY
Little Willie (who has an inquring mind Papa,
are all men really born free and equal?
Mr.. Hennypeck-Yes, but good many OF them
marry
Il. Fairbrother Genl Delivery
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
Albert Johnson last night took few

filings at the socialists, but if Albert is
so cock sure they are bad lot why does
he not accept the challenge of their can
didate for congress and "show 'em up"
in debate.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30

And Standpat Hay never said word
In his speech about his $4,000 bill for
getting the nomination.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
Tacoma woman applies for divorce

IdCUUHd WOMdH dppIIeS IOT uIVOTC6
from her husband whom she married 40
years ago, and who has been in the in
sane asylum for the past 80 years. Sure
ly, one couldn't call this hasty decis-
ion on the lady's part!
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30

"Beeleysport Is going to vote
bonds for a fine new city hall fer
its tired officials. This puts off a
new school buildin' ten more
years, but then tn children kan
take it out in bein' proud of tn
city hall"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
HIS REPLY
SOCIETY ITEM.

"Where'd you get the black eye2'
GIVE just been initiated"
''Into what society?"
''Into the society of my mother-in-law."
"A f. T.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30

A Boston girl who had
just returned from her first
trip abroad was asked If she
had been seasick. Sea
sick" she replied. "Why, I
went into the stateroom and
sat down ON my best hat
and I didn't care. "-Boston
Transcript.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-30
Displacement

do you think the automo-
bile will displace the horse?"
NO." replied the reckless
driver. I'VE can't even get
the pedestrians off the roads"