The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1912-09-18
A THEORETIC
MEDDLER
He Needed n Lesson, and
He Received 1t
BY F. A. mitchell

the greatest liberty ShOuld De granted
to insane patients. The professor
claimed that shutting up a patient ag-
gravated the disease. 1t happened that
the college in which Van Wrinkle lee
tured was located in the same town
with the state lunatic asylum, and, as
was natural, considering his speciality,
his opinions on the treatment of the
insane confined there had great weight
with the townspeople, from whom they
were reflected upon the board Of direc-
tors of the asylum.
Dr. Swinbourne, the superintendent,
not only had the confidence of the STAFF
of doctors and nurses-indeed, all the
employees-but was very much below
ed by them, and they were always in
terror lest some visitor TO the institu-
ton witnessing necessary severity
should with the aid Of Professor Van
Wrinkle. cause the doctor to be repri-
manded and that he would resign.
Finally this very thing happened. A
mother saw her son put in a strait
Jacket. She complained to Van Wlnkle.
The professor talked" The directors
Illuminated a law against unnecessary
severity and recommended the use Of
patients, SO far as possible, for what
ever work about the institution they
were fitted. When these orders were
received by Or. Swinbourne he handed
in his resignation.
Willie the matter was pending the
directors invited the professor, who
had made all the trouble, to so to the
asylum, make an inspection pertaining
especially to the treatment of patients
md report.
During the professors visit he was
given every facility for the perform
ance of his work, the staff were not
disposed to regard his presence there
favorably. He had been there about
half an hour when he was shown to
a padded room wherein was confined
a man who showed no signs of mental
or any other disease. The professor
asked him why he was there.
81 can't understand" replied the pa
tient, "why I am detained here. The
management might better avail them
selves of my services and save some
of the money they have been wasting
l was for years chef in one of the
largest hotels in America and could do
all the cooking required here. Instead
of that | am being driven really insane
by being confined alone with no occupa-
ton"
Nothing could have conformed more
nearly to the professors theory.
"Why don't you give the man
chance?' he asked Of the attendant
who was conducting him.
"He has been under surveillance, pro-
fessor," was the reply, "and we have
about concluded to grant his request
What do you think about it? If you
say the word we will put him in the
kitchen at once"
81 will assume the responsibility of
your doing So" replied the inspector.
The patient was at once let out Of
confinement and went below while the
professor continued his inspection.
There was great relief felt by the
staff when the great mental expert
menter finished his work and was
ready to depart While standing in
the hall waiting for his carriage to
drive up to the door the patient he had
released from the padded room in
the white apparel of a cook stepped
up to him and whispered in his ear
that if he would come to the kitchen
he would show him something he
should see. The professor went with
him to the kitchen. They had no
sooner entered than the patient locked
the door and put the key in his pocket.
81 don't propose" he said, that any
Of these villains who have kept me
prisoner shall interfere with my show
ing you what miserable rotten stuff
they have been feeding us. II / gave
them a chance they would come In
here and on pretense that I show signs
of relapse kake me back TO that mad
room. Mad room! That's what 1t is
a room in which to make some people
mad. Come herew
Now, the locking of the door was in
itself not especially grateful to Pro
fessor Van Wrinkle, but when he saw
the chef getting excited he felt cold
chill run down his back. He went
with the latter to the enormous range,
capable Of cooking meals for couple
Of hundred persons. There was hot
fire within, and the noon meal was
being prepared. On the range n large
cauldron Of soup was boiling.
"How many cooks do you suppose
they had here when I came in?" the
patient asked eXcitedly. "There We're
ten cooks, and each cook had an as
sistant. Besides these fifty cooks and
assistant cooks, there were twenty
scullions. Just think of it-a hundred
cooks and sculllOns to get the meals
for not over $50 persons, and the peo-
pie of the state taxed to pay 'em! /
seized this''-talling up a cleaver-"and
drove 'em all out"
Professor Van Winkle had theory
as to the management Of lunatics
xuhan fhav haoo mo Honparnng