Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-09-12

pearance, VINO had mOtOred over from
the nearest own to deliver his lecture,
1.-The Art OF Getting On" in the village
schoolroom concluded with a fine burst.
The successful man is the man who
strives persistently. His motto is
Push. and keep pushing for by that,
and that alone, he reaches his goal"
Before the audience made much
Roadway with their clapping, a small
ma at the back got in a laugh that
might have come from a megaphone.
The lecturer held up his hand for
silence.
You, too, my friend. will have to
push" he commenced.
$ will you. I reckon" interrupted
the small man: there is a half a doz-
en- kids pinching the gasoline out of
your motor ca to light a bonfire"
Tweed & Cheviot, %tailors, wrote to
Livingston Bigfront as follows:
w must have something on ac-
count by Saturday next-what can we
count on?"
And Mr.. Bigfront promptly replied:
Ever try an adding machine?"
Gentleman (who has Just picked up
9 30 bill to tramp who claimed it)-
But how can you prove 1t belongs to
you?
Tramp@Why, boss. boss. you can see
for yourself-I've got a hole in me
pocket!
Even a policeman can't arrest the
hight OF time" said the funny man.
"Oh. l don't know" rejoined the mat
ter-of-fact person. "Only this morn
Ing 1 saw a policeman enter a side
door and stop a few minutes.
There had been a quarrel between
two western editors. But Smith got
when Brown. who owned a small
farm. bought a mule. Smith printed
q paragraph about this purchase and
headed it. Extraordinary Case of
Self Possession."
Egerton L. Winthrop, at the end
OF one Of the meetings of the board
of education in New York said, APP
propos of severity in the school room:
Ihese oVersevere teachers always
remind me of an oversevere parson.
He, at a dinner party during Lent,
said to n of the guests, a famous
aconteur:
my dear sir, as it is Lent-and a
Friday to boot-would you mind if 1
asked you to confine your efforts ex-
clusivefy to fish stories?'"
An applicant for The post of mis-
questioned by those in authority.
AND what Is your position with re-
gard to h whipping of children?"
one member asked.
My usual position" she replied, sis
on a hail with the child across my
knees, face downward"
~
II have called to collect the rent
said the landlord briskly.
Yes, said the lady of the house
calmly. Come in, please. Before /
pay you there are n or two things
one moment, madam interrupted
the landlord suavely. ''Permit me
t save you the trouble. 1 know the
dining room isn't AT for a dog to sit
In; the wallpaper in the drawing
room Is a downright shock to people
of taste; the state of the kitchen is
disgusting. and h front door a blot
on the n~eighborhood. I also feel sure
that you do not intend to remain unless
n have the coal cellar thoroughly
w~h1tewashed. But I may say tha I
only mean to Sedo the drawing room
n paint the front gate this sea-
son."
The lady of the house bowed her
head. gently.
of YOU" she said quietly. e1prteeI
thought I would have to work off the
same old bluff to get ever that"
The teacher was earnestly trying
to Illustrate the outcome of aziness
and idleness. He drew a terrible pic
ture Of the habitual loafer. the man
who hates work, and his ultimate fate.
NOW, Charlie" he continued to a
little boy who had been looking out Of
the window, n whose mind was far
from h lesson Of the hour. tell me
who is the wretched. miserable indi-
vidual who gets clothes. food and lodg-
ing and gives nothing in retv,n?"
Charles face glowed.
please, SIR" he replied, the baby."
rs mammals good little boy ready to
have his a now?"
oh, NAV, cut out h g~oody-goody
business. When a chaps 6 years old
it's time to take him out OF the kin
dergarten class. I'll take my splash in
the tub when I've had a cigaret.'
Things didn't seem to work together
In your series of dramatic representa-
TONS"
They didn't admitted Mr.. Stor-
mington Barnes. "When we played
tragedy the box office receipts were a
farce. and when we played farce they
were a tragedy"
John Martin, for several presidential
campaigns sergeant at arms Of the
democratic national convention, carries
around with him about 200 pounds Of
adtpose. even when he is perspiring in
q lawyer. His clients were, for the
most part, such as had litigation about
the -Four Courts building. in st. Louis.
One summer day, when the courts
were languishing and clients were
scarce. Martin and several attorneys of
his class were cooling themselves on
the shady III of the old building. Mar
tin had taken off his hat, then he re-
moved his shirt collar. and finally he
removed his shoes and socks.
That reminded him OF the time when
he was a boy. And then:
I'll bet the drinks for the crowd