Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-02-12
Col. Jim Calls for Another.

This brings us, gentlemen-put square
piece of ice and a dash of lemon in mine
to the consideration of philanthropy and
charity There is no doubt that philan-
thropy is more fashionable than charity.
It Is more elegant and abundant. 1t is
higher sounding and gets more space in
the newspapers. Charity is more quiet In
it's habits. 1t does not stand on a street
corner and throw away money where
everybody can see 1t, but as a means of
publicity philanthropy has charity beat a
mile: Philanthropy wears silk hat and
carries a gold-headed cane, while charity
wears a shiny coat and carries market
basket. Philanthropy rides fast in a red
automobile. while charity walks to save
carfare. l have heard it said that philan-
thropy sometimes has charity concealed
in it. and that sometimes the concealment
is well done.
The ideal philanthropist is man who
did not make his fortune by the use Of
philanthropy, and finding that he cannot
keep down his income by eating, dressing.
travelling. buying pictures, paying big
prices forrarebindings with books in them,
employing dukes as sOns-in-law, or set
Ting the bills of his sons. determines to
quicker way to attract notice than by
giving away money. 1t is so very I'M
usual Very few men do it, especially II
they can afford to.
Being a pnlldntnIOplSC IS not as easy
as 1t looks. In the first place it is neces-
sary to have some money. Making for
tune Is a great tax upon the capacity Of
some Of us. myself am not talented in
this respect. When a man gets to be a
philanthropist he must undergo the hon.
most Independent men l know will pay
homage to man who gives away money.
Others will camp on his trail, whine on
his doormat,, sneeze when he reaches for
I,fc hair oSl 10 IL
ter when he cracks a wormeaten chest
nut. and applaud in ecstasy when he says
a commonplace, whereas if he had 80
cents instead of $50,OOO,OOO they'd holler,
pist is one who let's some Of his philan-
>thropy come our way. Otherwise, he is
visionary.
Real Art Of Flattery.
But this sort Of fattery is very vulgar
nowadays. 1t is still practised. but most
millionaires. though they Hike it. are next
to 1t. The most delicate flattery is to
make a philanthropist a member of some
scientific society. give him bunch of
honorary degrees from some college that
is too proud to beg more openly and in
vite him to deliver addresses before learn
ed associations. Who writes these adj
dresses Is not my business to discuss.
Some of them sound as though the phil
anthrOpist might have written them him.
self, though l dislike to criticise these ad-
dresses so sharply. A public address rep
resents a lot of writing. rewriting. men,
orizing and rehearsal especially II it is to
be an impromptu address. A man usually
puts in q great deal of hard work on an
extemporaneous address. when he knows
that he is to be unexpectedly called upon.
1.-The finesse of fiattery Is where an in
stitution of learning. famous for the Gull
tured way it's gridiron scholastics chew
the ears Off rival academicians makes the
philanthropist a LII. D.. an X. Y. z. or
something else. When the philanthropist
puts on a black gown. a motarboard hat
and a wise solemnity and takes part in
the procession to and from the hall of ex-
ercises / tell you, gentlemen Of the
Crystal. F1agon, the beatiic vision is al
most enough to drive me to glass of
sarsaparilla. You understand that such
extreme action on my part would only be
taken under the stress Of greatest provo
cation.
But, gentlemen. your health: and my
toast is: TO philanthropy, especially when
It comes our way.