Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-07

senator Lodge, of Massachusetts. is
d aapper man and perhaps the Beau
Brummel of the Senate. The senator
is partially in ambush behind a very
correct and carefully parted beard. 1t
is said that If one hair of this beard
gets on the wrong side of the part. the
senator finds it difficult to navigate on
Il straightaway course, but that is only
d press gallery story and we are here
TO report facts. The senator was the
I~llouthplece of the Roosevelt adnlinis-
tration. but is not doing any mouth
pleclng at present.
Senator fslihu Root. who sits near
Lodge, wears bangs, like those of Ber-
that. the sewing machine girl. and he
DOESN'T appear to care who knows it.
senator Root looks like his picture. 1t
isn't necessary to say anything more
sarcastic than that about him.
Near La Toilette sits an old chan
from the beautiful sucker state of Mis-
souri, by the name of Cum Shoe Bill
stone. Stone wears one of those old
iashloned civil war stovepipe lids and
Is utmost a replica of the more or less
immortal Henry Clay. He is something
over SIN feet IN height. and when he
gets up to speak you would naturally
expect 20 hear Il sound similar to the
pellows of AN enraged male bovine who
lias Just caught sight of a red petit
coat, but you are disappointed. Cum
Shoe Bill" has one of those gentle
lyric tenor voices which comes from
nowhere. goes nowhere and makes no
morse While going. He is known as
lhe Volceless orator. and is therefore
one of the most interesting men i'm the
senate to listen to. You can't hear him
at all. ~ ''
Jeff Davis. of Arkansas. gets ON bv
nus name. He is the fire-eating states-
man lrom"the wild southwest who was
going to walk dow - the center aisle
~ ms stocking feet, and who said that
NOBODY but Il conSummate ass would
wear a dress suit. He hasn't walked
GOWN the aisle in his sock feet vet, and
ne sun sits in a back seat right near
the door. The Senate has a way of its
own of cooling off these tempestuo,,s
characters. Henry A. Dupont. the
powder King of Delaware, looks more
llke a boot and shoe merchant in
0shaloosa, Ia, than like one of these
uiillliIsu trust magnates. He wears q
mecktle that fastens behind with a
THE UNITED STATES SENATE.
Washington. Feb. 11.-Dear Editor:
Uncle Shelby Cullom, of Illinois is
Of the vast army of statesme ~
VINO look like Lincoln and near him
SIts ROBERT j. Gamble. of Yankton. S
~. VINO is known as the handsomest
man in the Senate. This, of course.
Gamble. VII
On the democratic side. tover;ng
above ms colleagues like a sunf1ower
m a garden of winter radishes. is SEN
h hae Joseph w. Bailey. of Texas. who
h hmt .le hefoic proportions of Jeffries.
put VINO: unlike Jeffries, is able to come
pack he wants to. After
looking at Bailey and hearing him make
a motion to adjourn, 1 do not wonder
mat they don't care to vote against
NE SW11chlnp nf u L. y, L'c ~, ~.o 49,
is a Slow and tedious process
Mllh the passage of a bill through the
senate. 1T travels faster than a Mar
conlsram and is gone and forgotten
% oslore anyone knows it has been there.
or course, it takes the Senate about
10 years to get ready to pass a bill. but
the passing of it takes up less time
IMAM an unexpected event that forgets
90 90 happen. The presiding officer, MI.
juncture that it takes a dozen stenog-
faphers working in relays to get him. II
is something like this:
L have here a bill No. Umpty-ump-
u~lmpetyup. Observation-Disclosures
MISUNDERSTANDING. Allin-
Vorsay'aye'allopposed'no.' The.ayes'
Observation-Disclosures
The 'ayes" have it always unless
some senator raises a holler. and this
generally comes while the presiding of
ficer is putting the fourth bill down the
list to a vote.
1t is very pleasant to note how in
terested the senators are in each 9TH
er's speeches. When a senator gets UP
TO make a speech it seems a strange
coincidence that every other senator
suddenly remembers that he has bust
ness elsewhere. Every senator has his
one favorite orator, and only one. whom
he will remain in the chamber and
listen to. This favorite orator is him
self. When anybody else speaks. he
goes out to lunch. Going out to lunch
is about the best thing the average
senator does. and they have very sur
pr1slng appetites.
A senator can go out to lunch at any
moment and stay long enough to eat a
anything on they go to lunch. When
there is anything important on they go
to lunch, and when there is nothing at
all on they GO to lunch. and it is safe
to say that when Gabriel sounds the
final warning it will find one United
states senator making a speech and the
other S0-odd down in the Senate res
taurant. The senator who is making a
speech is not embarrassed in the least.
He will spout just as long as the pre-
siding officer and the stenographer
stay. and he is always sure of an audi
ence of two. anyhow. Everything he
says goes into the Record. and copies of
the Record go back home to the faith
ful and admiring constituency. Hence,
for all the senator who is making the
speech cares for his brother senators
ton or nervous dyspepsia, IL they like.
He is speaking for posterity. and pos
terity will take time enough off from
its eating to read.