El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-03-07
FABLE OF THE
WISE DAME
By Dorothy Dix.

| - nee upon a time there was a gay
Youth. who was something OF a
Rounder, and who fell in love
[ with a charming Maiden, and by dint
/ Of handing her a line Of candied con-
! versauon succeeded in winning her
I Affections and in escOrting her up the
J Church Aisle to the tune Of the Lohen-
d grin Rag
During the days Of Courtship the
! Youth passed up all his Wild Ways,
and spent the Evening clinching Fins
with the Maiden, and telling her that
he would Never, Never Weary Of her
Society and that his idea of a Sporty
Time was to gaze into her Soulful
Eyes, and being Young and UnsOphis-
Icated the Maiden fell for this Con
( Game.
Unfortunately, however, by the time
they were Married and the Dust began
to settle on their Wedding Presents,
the Man commenced 10 HaWn IN his
Wires face and to yearn for some
Amusement that had little more Gin
ger IN II than asking her - as Ducky
is OOo| So he got his Latch Key into
Commission again, and after Dinner
Whey was left all by her Lonesome TO
have long, long Thinks.
This greatly distressed the Lady, so
that when her Husband rolled in at
a. m. she was wont to turn the
Domestic Hydraulics on him and give
him the Tear Treatment but, at last,
finding that this did no good, she went
to one Of the Female Oracles who ped
died out Counsel to Wives, and thus
addressed her:
Her Advice.
4 desire" she said, some sort Of
Adhesive Advice that viii enable me
TO keep nv Husband at Home Of
Nights. 1 did not Marry to become
merely a Mute Parlor Ornament, and
this thing of being left to Paper the
Wall while my Husband goes out 10
enjoy himself has gotten me gong.
Most Husbands returned the ora
Gle, regard their Wives as merely
part OF the Furniture necessary to FIJI
uD Complete and Comfortable Home,
but there are Various Kinds OF urnl-
ture. Some Of it stays Put, ana some
of it is on Rollers. DO you get me-
Ermengardeg
I am on" cried the Wife. I'VE pay
No Attention to the Fixed Pieces that
anybody can put their Hand on IN rne
dark but we keep our Eye on the
Vivacious and Elusive Rocking Chalr
whose Location keeps US guessing
You are on" returned the oracle
Thanks noble Creature, repiled
the Wife. Life henceforth may !eaa
to Reno, but It will never be dull
With that the Wife returned Home
and, after giving her Hair fresh pose
Of Peroxide, she put on her merry
Regalia. and that Night when heI nus
band began TO Frame Up an LA -Ci9
for going downtown, instead OF regis
tering the Usual Kick she ran and got
his Hat and Coat and hustled hiIn Oh;
Forget it," she cried JoyousIy-
perceive that you are riSlI anu ma 7
the Secret Of Domestic Felicity Is loL .
q Married Couple 10 take each otnef .
Society in broken Doses IL Is 4rue
that you have Apollo and Chauncey
Depew nailed to the WaI IN LOOKS
and Wit Also / am Quite Few my I
H. IN
lions: but one WearieS Of the same OLD 4
Flavor. There are others W nat
Fortunate Woman I am 10 have nus
band who has Taught me that NaIlety
is the Spice Of Life, and who setS me .
such an Admirable Example OF no"
To Be Happy Though Married
lie Didn't Like II.
Strange to say these Words did not
make Hit with the Man
II Wonder he said TO hlmseiL' as
he vended his way TO his Club, 'where
she butts in with all OF TINS Glee Loi
although never considered II OetoIe'
should not Trims there "as any S.IiAS
Particularly Thrilling in spending
Quiet Evening at Home with our BEST
Authors"
The next Evening the Wife appeared
still more Anxious TO get him on ahq
when he offered to stay at Home ana
Reaf her at Tvo-Handed Euchre, in
stead of Falling on his Neck win
Gratitude as she would formerly have
lone. she passed it up with Scorn.
do not stay al Home on My Ac-
count she said. sweetly, for i have
PLENTY Of Amusements OF my Own.
"Ha." cried the Man TO himself TINS
does not 20. 1t is well enough 70
cave WHEY alone whenN she spent the
Evenings Pining for my Society but
{ is a Different Story when she wants
20 get Rid Of me. She would not Jolly
ne off unless she had some little Game
of her own. and so il is me to stay at
Home and Mend my Fences
The Wife was Delighted at the sue
,ass of her Ruse. but being a Wise
Female she did not give the snap
Awav, and as she always kept her Hus-
7and wondering what she would DO II
Ne was Absent. ne never more dared to
Wander from his own Fireside-
Moral: This fable teaches that there
re more WAYS Of keeping a Husband
It Home than Sailing him down III
Brine.