The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1912-05-30

snow. anu forgot tnat he ana OLD
Idaho was on the outs.
Idaho" says l. what kind of
book is yoursY"
Idaho must have forgot. too, for he
answered moderate, without any Sian
der or maliSnity.
why" says he. this here seems to
be q volume by Homer X. NJ"
Homer X. NJ WHAT" | asks.
why, just Homer X. NJ" says he.
You're a liar" says /, little rled
that Idaho should try to put me up a
tree. NO man is going around signing
books with his initials. If it's Homer
*. NJ. Spoopendylle, or Homer X. NJ.
insolvency. or Homer X NJ. Jones,
why don't you say so like a man in
stead of biting off the end of it like a
calf chewing off the tail of Il shirt on
a clotheslineY
Il put it to you straight. Sandy"
says Idaho. quiet. Its a poem book"
says he, "by Homer X. NJ. | couldn't
get color out of it at first, but there's
a vein if you follow it up. I wouldn't
have missed this book for a pair of
red blankets"
you're welcome to it. says I.
What you've got" says Idaho, SIS
statistics, the lowest grade of informa-
ton that exists. They'll poison your
mind. Give me old X. Ms system of
surmises. He seems to be a kind Of a
wine agent. His regular toast is
nothing doing and he seems to have
a crouch, but he keeps it so well lubri-
Gated with booze that his worst kicks
sound like an invitation to split a
quart. But it's poetry" says Idaho,
land l have sensations of scorn for
that truck Of yours that tries to con
vey sense in feet and inches
So that's the way me and Idaho had
il. Day and night all the excitement
we got was studying our books. That
snowstOrm sure fixed us with a fine lot
of attainmentS apiece.
That spring me and Idaho struck
pay ore. 1t was habit of ours to sell
out quick and keep moving. We I'M
loaded on our grubstaker for $1,000
dIltCe, anu llltu we uONu 10
this little town of Rosa, on the Salmon
river, to rest up and get some human
grub and have our whiskers harvested
Rosa was no mining camp. 1t laid
in the valley, and was as free of up
roar and pestilence as one of them
rural towns in the country. There was
a three mile trolley line champing its
bit in the envirOns, and me and Idaho
spent a week riding on one of the cars.
dropping off of nights at the Sunset
View hotel. Being now well read as
well as travelled, we was soon pro re
nata with the best society in Rosa
and was invited out to the most dress
ed up and high toned entertainments.
1t was at piano recital and quail eat
ing contest in the city hall. for the ben
eft of the fire company, that me and
Idaho first met Mrs De OrmOnd Samp-
son, the queen of Rosa society.
Mrs Sampson was a widow and own
ed the only two story house in town.
1t was painted yellow. and whichever
way you looked from you could see it
as plain as egg on the chin of an
O'Grady on a Friday. twenty-five
men in Rosa besides me and Idaho was
trying to stake a claim on that yellow
house.
There was a dance after the song
books and quail bones had been raked
out of the hall Twenty-three of the
bunch galloped over to Mrs. Sampson
4 >nI
the twostep and asked permission to
escort her home. That's where l made
a hit.
On the way home says she:
"Ain't the stars lovely and bright
tonight, Mr.. Pratt?"
For the chance they've got" says
I, they're humping themselves in a
mighty creditable way That big one
YOU see Is GG.OO0,O00. 900 of miles dis
tant 1t took thirty-siX years for its
light to reach US. With an eighteen
foot telescope you can see 43,000,C00
of 'em, including them of the thir-
teenth magnitude. which, if one was TO
go out now. you would keep on seeing
it for 2,700 years"
"My!' says Mrs. Sampson. II never
knew that before. How warm it is,
I'm as damp as 1 can be from dancing
so much"
That's easy to account for" says |,
when you happen to know that you've
got 100000 sweat glands working
all at once. If every one of your
perspiratory ducts. which are a quar-
ter of an inch long, was placed end
to end they would reach a distance Of
seven miles"
"Lawsy" says Mrs. Sampson. at
sounds like an irrigation ditch you was
describing, Mr.. Pratt. How do you
get all this knowledge of informa-
tion?'
From observation, Mrs. Sampson"
1 tells her Il keep my eyes open
when | 20 about the world
''Nr. Pratt" says she. Il always
did admire man of education. There
are so few scholars among the sap
headed plug uglies OF this town that il
IS u real pleasure to converse with Il