The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1912-10-14
MABEIS CAITCHEr
Feeding the chimpanzees at the
New York Zoo.
MONKEY ACTS AS MAJOR DOMo
How tho Plain Husband Of a Plain
Wife Made a Successful Political
Speech Aided by Nothing More Ef-
fective Than a Butter Ball.

Wife Made a Successful Political
Speech Aided by Nothing More Ef-
fectivs Than Butter Ball.
Dear Elsa-I must tell you about a
Visit | paid to the ZOO. You, of course,
know that the geological display at
Bronx park here in New York Is one of
1.-THE wonders of the naturalist world
But with all kinds of interesting sights
lat ones very door one never seems TO
lsee them unless a stranger without the
Igates happens along and expresses a
desire to "see the animals" Well, that
is what brought about the visit to the
ZOO. My cousin Margaret has been visit
ling us for week, and as yesterday was
1.-THE time set for her departure l under
ltook to see her safely on the train. As
usual, | was the means of her missing
lit by about three minutes. There was
nothing left for us TO do but to put in
ia few hours time before the train left
for the suburban town we have been
calling home for the past month. Mar
lgaret suggested visit to the zoo, and,
las there seemed TO be no just cause
why we shouldn't avail ourselves of
this opportunity, we went The atti-
ltude of a Christian martyr was cheer
lful resignation itself compared TO my
mental state Of mind, but lived to see
the error of my ways. while martyrs
ldied for a better cause.
The monkeys were the funniest
things ever. Ny dear, six chimpanzees
sat at low table, such as is used
lin kindergartens. in chairs of the same
Childish size, with all the dignity one
associates with the meeting Of board
lof bank directors. A small monkey
dressed In white linen acted as butler
and waited on table quite like a
pilates as the courses were finished,
filling the glasses when necessary and
apparently anticipating the wants of
Ibis superlors. Whenever these same
Isuperiors became rude and grasping
over the possession of certain dainty
or spilled any of the viands, there was
an overseer of the human species on
Ihand to chastise them by applying
smart wrap over the head OF the Of
TENDERS At the end of the meal down
went each apish head into its fore
paws in devout thanksgiving to the
divine proyider OF the feast. Seats
about the monkey cage were reserved
for youthful spectators, and the peals
of childish laughter when chin
papzee forgot his table manners and
was corrected made that part OF the
Ipark ring with their appreciation. One
touch OF nature makes the whole world
kin.
Since women have gone in FOR cam
paign work in behalf of their favorite
presidential candidates there is a very
hurricane of talk about politics; in
fact. in the words Of the popular rag
time song. 'everybodys doing It," and
one hears mighty funny stories on the
subject. Here's my latest find concern
ing the misfortunes OF n citizen who
wanted TO help along the cause
This particular John was wont to say
to his wife Mary: Tin a plain man.
and among other things take no In
terest In butter balls. I like my butter
plain In pats"
But Mary, though a plain woman.
saw no reason why the butter should
emulate her. and at table the butter
continued to appear In neat round
balls. One evening John hurried
through dinner. He was due to attend
political meeting. He was going 10
make his maiden speech lie left the
table before the cloth was cleared for
dessert. but he returned for moment.
hat in hand. TO rehearse his climax for
Mary. I'VE are approaching climax"
up went the hat. "Who among you
will fail the old party now?' Hat wav-
ing In air. 81 venture to predict'-hat
nloft, still and perpendicular-"no
one" Hat In swift downward swoop.
landing bang upon the table And
John. thrusting his hat upon his head,
left the house.
John was a marked man all the way
to the meeting. Evidently the district
knew that he was about TO speak
Johns speech was a great success.
The climax seemed TO quite move the
audience. All the way home John was
a marked man. People nudged each
other and pointed him out People
craned their necks to see him and
smiled. Secretly John rather fancies
himself power In the district. When
his wife Mary met him at the door,
"John." said she. what Is on your
hat brim?"
Pertly impaled upon his stiff straw
hat front for all the world to see sat
plump yellow butter ball.
"Mary." said John sadly. ''thls would
never have happened had you been
content TO serve our butter plain. as II
comes from the cow" Now. Elsa.
dear. when Jack goes out TO make
political speech inspect his hat
You would like to know how I am
getting my hands into shape after the
summers hard usage. I'm doing It
with the following lotion, which Is the
best thing Of the kind I have ever
come across. Very simple IL the for
mula: Five cents worth Of bay rum.
10 cents worth Of glycerln. cents
worth Of alcohol and cents worth Of
ounce seed. Shake the lotion well
before using. and 10 applied regularly
for a few days the result win be
magical. Having put You on the beau
" trail. must stop Cossining with you
and see whether Maggie's washing the
white paint properly. We're cleaning
house. Woe Is all OF us. Miserably