Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1912-02-02
We Can't Help Saying 1t.
Geoqraphicai Glee.

attained renoMn, and Brooklyn, TO the
humorist. is baby carriage town.
Exchange.
! Houlton, to the laughter guy, turns
out the biggest spuds. while Bangor,
always on the fly. is licking up the
suds In Augusta and Waterville all
politicians grow. and over little East
port the fishy odors blow.
! The Baltimore American wants to
know who is paying Woodrow Will
sons bills. Going at the subject by
process of elimination, we should say
that the angel is neither Colonel
Harvey nor Colonel Watterson.-
Manchester Union
Nor the Carnegie pension fund.
1t will occur directly that President
Taft is rapidly getting loved for the
enemies he has made.-N. Y. Tele-
gram.
But it appears that Woodrow Will
son is not so fortunate in his choice
of enemies
The House Democrats having de-
eided in the interests OF economy not
to pass any bills for public build
ngs or for battleships. watch the
Republican editors get busy with
the old penny wise and pound fool
ish' Biddeford Record.
Too apparent
Now is the time for cold winter
stories, and now are the local
Munchausens in their glory. The
Hartford Courant says that "one win
ter a good many years ago" Long Is
land sound was frozen over so COM
pletely that man started from New
York with a horse and sleigh and
drove all the way to Newport, r. l..
on the ice. What year. please? We
must have dates and other documen-
tary evidence before accepting such a
yarn.-Portland Press.
Don't blame you, but of course it
was the same winter that a colony up
Greenville way flooded their settle
men with human. animal and archi-
tectHral figures of ice. Simply said
Man and there stood man;
Cow" and there was the cow:
House" and the house came--so cold
all words We're frozen into form, One
man discovered the misfortune of edu-
cation by trying TO establish a mu-
scum of prehistoric objects He at
tempted "Ichthyopterygia" and choked
on the fourth syllable Several of
the blooming things formed upon his
tongue, and. twisting his head for
ward. broke his neck, Following this
trapic episode. the creations consisted
mostly Of rats. eats. dogs and other
things one can say quickly OF
course the warm sun finally melted
away this winters labor, and. really,
the only absolute evidence we can
furnish the Press will be found in
the hole taken from 19-ineh can
non tmade by the patriotic Ezra Jen-
kyns) and tackled upon barn door.
More and more the paper bag is
playing prominent part in modern
life. Paper-bag cooking has become a
fad, and now we are told that a West
ern woman, hearing a burglar in her
house, scared him away by blowing.
up a paper bag and bursting it
Boston Globe.
Heard a funnier one than that.
Certain Democratic editors are using
the bags to rush the growler."
The editor of our 'steemed eontem-
porary, fthe Kennebec Journal. claims
that ne can remember away back to
l9os My. 1t must be awful for
working newspaper man to have a
memory like that,-Biddeford Journal.
For this unkindness there is one
name less in our list of Immortals.
Everybody knows Bath. If a
man gets into trouble anywhere in
the United States, the name of our
city is the first one that occurs to
him when he has to mention where
he lives. It's just as easy as saving,
Smith when the police ask his name.
All TINS is very fiattering, but it has
lis disadvantages. The public might
get the impression that Bath is a
nest of cut-throats and thieves in
stead of merely the most peaceful.
upright and law abiding as well as
the best known city in the country
| Bath Times.
| All OF which creates the impression
mat secretly, you must have been do
ing something awful.
| inc passage of the Child Labor bill
| Is Il disgrace TO the Senate of the
| United States. Congress has no more
business TO investigate child labor in
Maine than it has to investigate child
iahor IN Europe. 1t is pernicious silly
meddlc.-Lewiston Sun.
Ne more right. than man has to
vote to suppress the liquor traffic when
lie Is victim of the habit?
ALMA.
The Ladies' Aid will meet thiS week