New-York tribune., 1912-01-02
THE TALK OF THEs DAY.

A traveller who has just returned after
passing several months IN Lapland has re-
vealed to tho Paris Journal" an ingenious
trick played by a German company upon
too confiding tourists This line adver-
tises trips to the North Sea. with all the
usual Accomplishments Of midnight suns.
white bears and Arctic life. Now and
again the steamship approaches the coast
OF Lapland. and touches at certain points
TO allow the tourists to visit a Lapp VII
lage. This would be all very well II Lapp
villages abounded on the shore but. as q
matter OF fact. they are always TO be found
at the end Of a day or two's laborous Jour
ney into the interior. The difYlculty was 20
be surmounted. nevertheless. and 80 tho en-
terprising Hamburg company had a neat
village built in orthodox style. and In order
not TO disturb the natives II imported a
group OF Italian gondoiiers, who, being out
OF work in winter. were dressed appro-
priately and made TO ngure as Lapps for
the benefit OF the tourists in search Of local
color.
Talk Is cheap" commented the ready
That remark" replied Senator sorsum.
proves that you have never undertaken TO
pay the travelling expenses and hotel bills
Of party Of campaign orators. Wash
ington Star.
NON CoMPoS MENTIs.
Insanity in the United States 10 growing fast
er than the population.-News item.l
Nay. do not joke and say our folk
Are daily growing nutty:
Why should they thus7 Does mental muss
Careen from common carer
Does weight OF woe cause mind to 60,
Is our gray matter putty!
Insane7 Tut! tutl They're nothing but
Queer creatures on q tear.
They seek relief from price Of beef
BY thinking wood is mutton;
And rest from rents with the pretence
They own the universe:
Then. too. they think that they do drink
Pure milk. Each is a slutton
For making mum" Insane? Have donel
Sane thoughts are surely worse.
On Sunday night we saw they're right
Nsanity's not ended
Some yelled and sang. let care 60 hang;
Each shredded. sore. his throat:
Amid carouse they made strange vows
Alas. already bendedD;
And thus We guess the worlds distress:
Mankind has lost its goat!
A. ". u.
Your poem used? should say not" an
Would you give me q candid criticism
OF TT"
Certainly. It's clumsy and vulgar and
unspeakably idiotic7"
Good
"Good?"
Yes; set to music It will become popu-
lar song."-Ttt-Bits.
College boys are a better behaved lot now
than they used to be. according to Clayton
Sedgwick Cooper. who. writing In "The
Century" takes issue with r. T. Crane, Of
Chicago. "The standards OF morals and
conduct among the American Undergrad
yates are percepubly higher than they
were fifty years ago." says Mr.. Cooper.
There is a very real tendency in the line
OF doing away with such celebrations as
have been connected with drinking and
immoralties. To be sure. one will always
find students who are often worse for their
bacchic associations and ono must always
keep I'm mind that the college Is on earth
and not in heaven: but comparison of
student customs to-day with those Of fifty
years ago gives cause for encouragement"
Church-What makes you think Flatbush
isn't right in his mind?
Gotham-Why. when 1 called there yes
terday found him In the cellar oiling his
gas meter.-Yonkers Statesman.
Speaking OF the uniform reform measures
which have been suggested by a commits
sion appointed for that purpose by the gen.
eral staff of the German army. q former
officer In that service writes: Radical
changes are always made under the fire of
criticism We saw that fact illustrated
when the blue uniform made way for the
earth colored service clothes IN this coun-
try and when the slouch hat took the caps
place But the blue cloth and the cap were
not so deeply rooted as the shiny helmet
with its spike top. which gave It the name
'pickelhaube.' and this is to be done away
with. When that decree goes forth look
for violent protests. There WIN be more,
and from another source. when the sugges-
ton of Councillor DR.. Witzel Is acted upon
favorably. He wants all women to do mill
tary duty and for certain number Of
years to be at the call Of their country for
service In the hospital, transport, clothing
and provisioning services. The German
army with . woman contingent will be