davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18
GLOBE SIGHTS

1t takes aaomesick man fully to appre-
ciate home.
A good apple crop must be great joy
to the worm family.
Link Preston always starts his biggest
knocks by saying I'm not kicking, but
A mountain climber probably works the
hardest for the privilege of risking his
life.
Possibly nagging wives fail to under
stand that they are a great boom to the
saloon keepers.
There is so much to read that it
shouldn't be printed in Old English TO
make the process more difficult
Until the practical joke has been elirn1-
mated, people shouldn't brag too much on
our well known civilization.
An apology may sometimes save one
from a whipping but in other respects it
doesn't fill any long felt want.
If spies were treated as roughly in 9TH
esteemed human race would be hanged.
HAM" says an eminent food authority,
"shrinks rapidly" In which let us add, 1t
differs materially from the price thereof.
There are remote sections of the world
in which cherry pie is an unknown quaint
ity and Americans have other causes for
patriotism.
There are many plans evolved for get
ting the young men to church. but the
right sort of girls there continue TO be
the most effective.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

GFrom the Chicago News.J
The barber sometimes works at cut
rates.
A mans friends all know that he is in
love before he discovers it.
At 30 spinster begins to realize that
she is missing the Mrs.
It's all right to think good thoughts, but
it's more so to do good deeds.
The man who understands the true
philosophy of living is glad he's alive.
Even at a society ball clothes do not
make the man or the lack OF them the
woman.
1t makes a difference whether a girl
says she will be a young mans sister or
his sisters.
A woman must be proficient in the ar.
of making up If she would have a mirror
lie to her face.
Many a girl starts out to marry mil
hona1re and ends by taking in washing TO
support the man she does marry.
Fashion is a freakish within that enables
woman to shift her waist line from
around her knees and anchor it Just be-
low her shoulder blades.
1t is only during her engagement that
a girl can understand why the mother
of her fiance doubts whether any girl on
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18
AYHAWKER .JOT.y

"Flinch," of the Carbonate Post,
often wonders how bald headed man
can tell just where to stop when he is
washing his face.
Another, but reasonable wall from
Adam Croaker of the Holton Recorder:
Just my luck-the general conference
waited until got so old did not care
to dance, before taking off the ban.
Laura Marble and Florence Stone,
both Jewell county girls, were married
recently, notes the jamestown Optim-
list, and it adds: Love will melt the
hardest heart.
Editor Smick of the Wamego Repor-
ter has been sued for $4,000 damages.
And the Marion Record insists it is
some editor that can land compli-
ment like that.
The coinage of half cent pieces,
which the government is about to I'M
dertake, will cut down the free will
offerings to some extent, thinks the
Holton Signal.
Never a cloud without it's silver lin
ing: This mud we have been having
has made bad driving on the roads,
that's true, says the Stafford County
Republican, but just think how fine
the plow slips along now.
A little city miss was visiting in the
country and strayed out into the field
one day where there were a few lambs,
relates the Pratt Union. Exasperated
by the incessant bleating of the lambs,
she stamped her foot and said: You
can tell your ma-a and your pa-a and
your family; I've got as much right
here as you have, and I'm going to
stay-so there"
One of the captains of finance of the
future, or possibly a get-rich-quick art
iSt is to be found in a lad named Jim
mic Hite who lives at Mildred, Allen
county He went into a store there
recently and told the proprietor that
he had half dozen eggs which he
wished to exchange for candy. The
mediately and Jimmie, who had few
friends with him, proceeded to devour
it forthwith. Then Jimmie handed over
his half dozen eggs, and they proved to
be the eggs of the sparrow variety.
Hear We! hear We, all the anglers.
Here is a new method of digging fish
bait. Cut the handle from q broom
drive it into the ground about three
feet and then take a board and rub
it over the top of the protruding stick.
The vibrations are heard for a radius
of about four feet by the worms and
they, believing it to be thunder, come
to the top of the ground. This method
is vouched for by the state fish and
game warden of Texas and it is said
to be practical. But if you don't care
to go to this trouble for bait, here is a
method used to catch fish by Chef
Peebler last Sunday out on Slough. He
first cut a pole about three feet in
length, and polished it until it shone
like glass, then he found a hole that
looked like there were fish in it, and
spread perfectly blank sheet of paper
on the ground about six inches from
the water. After removing his coat,
he laid down on the paper and placed
his month to the surface of the water
and made a noise like a worm and
when the fish came to the top, he
would hit them in the head with the
polished stick. This may sound I'M
reasonable, but we can prove it by
Dave Keers, who has the stick.-Oska-
loosa Independent.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18
orr PHIIIPPINE POIICY.

The possession of the Philippine IS
lands by the United States left the gov
eminent of this country free to under
take to form a policy with respect to
the organization and control of the Is
lands. writes Bernard Moses in the May
Atlantic. The first opinion relating to
such a policy concerned the profit to be
derived by the United States. More
mature considerations emphasized the
advantage which the Islands might de-
rive from the connection After much
talk and more hesitation. the govern
ment of the dominant country finally
assumed toward the Filipinos the at
titude which an enlightened govern
ment is supposed always to hold toward
the people over whom it exercises its
authority, an attitude involving a duty
to take such action as will promote
their well-being and progress in civiIi-
zation.
The policy adopted had certain
features that indicated a departure
from the traditional colonial policy of
Western nations. Among other pro-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18
HUNOR or THE DAY

Giles-Peckon had a bad case of rnatrf-
Giles-His wife's doesn't agree with him.
Chicago News.
For Future Reference-'"wasn't he
surprised when she kissed hm?" In
deed. yes; he called for help" ssThen
what did she do?" Called for wit
nesses r'-Satire.
Suited the Dogs Taste-Old Donas
shuffled into Robins grocery store lead
ing a shambling, NANCY cur. "Meester
Robin" he addressed the proprietor You
got no empty barrel o. flour. 1 wants to
make my dog a chicken coop."-Afarch
Lippincotts.
Were Too Good.-F1rst Society Dame
How are the acoustics of the new opera
house? Second Society Dame-Too good
Some people in the family circle said
they could hear every word spoken in
our box.-Life-
Rank.-Visitor-You say you have the
only general store in the town. What do
you call Eph Hoskins and 81 winters
places? Southern Storekeeper-Them?
HUH Eph runs a colonel and 81 a cap
tain storei-Puck.
Ocular Demonstration.-The Charming
Wife-Charlie, IL a man were to sit on
your hat, what would you say2 Charlie
I should call him silly ass. The Charm
ing Wife-Then don't sit on mine any
longer. there's a dear.-Parson's Weekly
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18
QUAKER A1EDITATIoNs.
[From the Philadelphia Record.

From the Pn1ladelph1a Record.
You can seldom drown q mans voice by
pouring liquor down his throat.
Advice is a good bit like ready-made
suit. 1t looks good till you try it on.
Many a mans reputation is based on
what other people don't know about him.
When fellow tells a girl he ism t
worthy of her, she is apt to believe him
at the time.
Manayunk man is so mean that ne
has been accused of stopping the clock to
save time.
The man who is as cool as a cucumb Der
thereby proves that he is not as green as
he looks.
Even the topper will admit there is opIv
one thing in the world worse than
whisky; that is, no whisky.
Perhaps the reason the owl is wiser
than the turkey or the chicken is because
nobody tries to stuff him.
Ignorance of the law excuses no one y
quoted the Wise Guy. mo, not even the
lawyer" added the Simple Mug.
Wigg-'The Dolittles have lost all their
money. Mrs. Dolittle even has to do her
own housework now" Wagg-"Yes, and
poor Dolittle has to roll his own ci-
garettes''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Trying to be funny and succeeding
is almost among the impossibilities.
\ \ \
Everybody has an idea that his trou-
bles are worse than those any other
folk may have.
X
At one season of each year men have
the chance to blame their natural lazi-
ness on spring fever.
" A. %
The mistakes a man makes in his
span of life are more numerous than
the hairs on his head.
X = y
Perhaps the fact that every man is
the architect of his own fortune is
the reason so many of the latter don't
amount to much.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18
RY THE WY
BIZ HARVEY PARsoNaL

Since Bill Curtis was elected High
jimcrackus of the Elks, he has been
charged with number of crimes, but
up to late hour this afternoon, no
one has limited that he ever sang tenor
in a Y. M. c. A. qu6rtette
It begins to look like the only thing
that will save Rev. Richeson is ben
zoate of soda. That is the last resort
of the canning factories
At the Kansas City colored church
conference, there were Is eager candi-
dates for four jobs as bishop. The
latest bulletins indicate that things
look black for eleven of the candi-
dates.
Bill White hastens to write Dave
Mulvane's obituary, and tell how Dave
went down. It might be well for some
one to whisper to Bill that Dave
hasn't gone down for the third time.
We are betting a niggleswort of
chewing gum against peanut that
Dave will be naming Kansas postmas-
has pushed his last political chip to
the center.
Thad Carver came from New Eng
land, but outside of that he is all right.
He has a sufficient number of good
qualities to offset that defect. Hence,
if the simp who shot him will call at
this office, we will take great pleasure
in slamming him on the bean with a
two-column type-high cut.
And, as a further mark of displeas-
ure, we may write a real mean para
graph about the miserable thug
A Wichita woman attempted to pot
her husbands lady friend, and made
the mistake of using an automatic
pistol No woman knows enough
about machinery to get results with
an automatic. With common, or
garden variety of pistol, she may shoot
either herself OF an innocent by
Stander, but the woman who attempts
to use an automatic should secure the
services of a competent gun chauffeur
with a full kit of tools.
Truth crushed to earth may as we'll
lie there and rest until after election.
When a baby keeps it's mother up
nights, its resemblance to father be-
comes palmer.
Your friends may be able to see your
strong points without the aid of glass
es but it is just as well to remember
that your enemies can see your weak
spots through a stone wall on dark
night.
A rich mans money can't buy him
health. but it is never wasted. His
doctors children can have individual
The boob who contemp1ates matri-
mony should try keeping a string of
race horses for a year. If that doesn't
break him, he has a chance with the
other game.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18
THE SCARECROW.

All winter through ! bow my head
Beneath the driving rain;
The north wind powders me with snow
And blows me back again;
At midnight meath a maze of stars
flame with glittering rhine,
And stand, above the stubble stiff
As mail at morning prime,
But when that child, called Spring, and
His host of children, come,
scattering their buds. and dew upon
These acres of my home;
Some rapture in my rags awakes;
lift void eyes and scan
The skies for crows, those ravening foes,
OF my strange master, Man.
L watch him strfding lank behind
His clashing team, and know
Soon will the wheat swish body high
Where once lay sterile snow;
Soon shall gaze across a sea
OF sun-begotten grain,
Which my unflinching watch has sealed
For harvest once again.
Walter De Ia Mare, in the Living Age.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

visions. it was required that the finan-
cial affairs should be managed for the
advantage of the Inhabitants Of the Is
lands, and not for the purpose of crea--
ing revenue for the United States;
that the inhabitants should be brought
as early as possible into a state where
they could participate in the thought
and other civilizing influences of the
Western world; and that they should
be gradually made familiar with the
ideas and procedure of government rs
it exists in civilized nations, this to he
accomplished not wholly by precept,
but by actual participation in the bust
ness of governing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18
KANSAS COMMENT
PRESERVING THE BUFFALO.

PRESERVING THE BUFFALO.
There are still living many Kansana
who shared the prairieS of the state
with the buffalo, and to whom this ami
NAL became so common as to excite no
more interest than do today the horses
and cattle in the fields. But after all
the disappearance from Kansas of the
bison was amazingly swift. In these
early settlers, mention of the buffalo
will probably stir a sentiment to lead
them to hope for the passage of the
Martin bill to establish a national
game preserve adjoining the Wind
Cave National park in South Dakota.
About IL 900 acres of land are included
in the tract-enough to pasture 800 buff
faloes. Ten animals have been offered
by Director Hornaday of the Bronx
Geological park in New York and the
American Bison society has undertaken
to supply the others needed to make
up a nucleus herd. When it is con-
sidered that the appropriation asked
for the securing of this game preserve
is only So, 900, there should be no oppo-
sition. The effort is to save from ex-
tinction a distinctive American animal.
In a small way many municipal parks
are raising bisons, but not all of these
efforts are successful. In the west
larger tracts of land are given over
to the former kings of the plains, some
of the preserves being public and 9th
ers private. In southern California is
a woman rancher with buffalo rang
of many thousand acres.-Leavenwort
Times.
STEADY WORK BEATS YEGGING.
There may be no such thing as a
burglar proof safe, although a good
deal of money is invested in them.
But the vault vendors have at least
offered the yegg some formidable OPP
position until the bold bandit who
doesn't wish risking the cashiers re-
volver, must be a skilled mechanic,
with a chemists knowledge of high
explosives. This should call a higher
class of Intelligence to the successors
of Robin Hood, Jesse James and
others who became famous because
they went and took. And, having
that knowledge, they should know
they could do better with a steady
job at four bones a day than running
with large sums just ahead of the
posses and odhounds.-Atchison
Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

LFrom the New York Press.J
The best way for a man to train the
children is to let his wife do it for him.
man will talk about public duty a lot
more enthusiastically than he will do it.
The way most people act about it you
would think saving money was like hav-
ing teeth pulled.
Optimism is thinking maybe the first OF
the month bills won't be more than the
money to pay them with.
1t seems natural for old people to brag
even about the way they used to get
poulticed when they were young.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18
DAFFYDHS
BIZ q. NOALL..

If you wrote notes to a girl would
you be a writer of note /?
tAnd you might also try this on
your piano.)
Would you call the crowd that visits
Coney Island beech nuts?
(Step this way. ladies and gentle
men, and see the wild wonder He
eats rats. He eats 'em aIfve.)
Would the Merry-go-round at Car
field park get hungry il the Figure s i?
(Hold your horses, man, you're on a
hilIl
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

Students at the state university have
been forbidden by the board of re-
gents to smoke cigarettes on the cam
pus. InaSmuch as there is no campus
around the Topeka high school, it is
probably not within the province of
the local board of education to pro-
ilibit the boys in this institution from
smoking cigarettes in its vicinity.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

Sidna Allen and his nephew, Wesley
Edwards, may now be expected to put
in a temperance at Hillsville and dc
a little more shooting in the court
house The jury in the Floyd Allen
case returned a verdict of guilty
against him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

Information now comes from Wash
ington that years will be required for
the money trust" probe. And some
of the wise men are sure to suggest
that banking and currency reform leg
islation should be most properly held
until that probe is concluded. This,
though, would be a tremendous mis-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

party in congress who style themselves
as such, do not look with much favor
on any kind of protective tariff. Col
onel Roosevelt has committed himself
to one. And the tariff, by the way, will
loom up as one of the big issues in the
presidential campaign to come
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

In feeling confident, of the result at
Chicago, Colonel Roosevelt is no diff
6erent from any candidate who runs
for any kind of a nomination.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

After a thorough tryout in New York
city, stepless street cars have been
found to be much superior to the other
kind. Seatless street cars are sure to
follow. But they won't be much Of a
novelty to the bulk of the people who
are forced to use the street cars dur
ing the rush hours.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

Three men were killed and. three in
jured while making aeroplane flights
during a recent day. The demands of
science are certainly levying a heavy
toll of lives in the perfection of the art
OF aviation. And it's a serious ques-
ton that any gain that may be made
will be at all commensurate with the
tremendous price in the way of human
sacrifice that will be paid.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

Among the delegates to the Chicago
and Baltimore conventions who will
have decid eddy the best time of it, are
those who will go uninstructed. Won't
they be feted and handled with gloves
during the preliminaries? All of the
candidates and their managers will be
willing servants at their beck and
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

Now that he is the father of a son
perhaps it Is just as well that DR..
Wiley gave up his position as chief OF
governments chemistry bureau. Nc
man, 81 years old, could be expected to
devote any time to business with his
first born baby boy to look after.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

Kansas again provides history with
something unusual in politics. A father
and son are contestants for election to
the legislature from the same district
one carrying the Democratic banner
and the otter the Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

In all likelihood, the huge army of
hotel, Pullman and other employees
who have their hands out for tips are
not enthusiastically in favor of the
plan of the treasury department to coin
haIf-cent I'D three-cent pieces.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

This sensational decline in the price
of wheat is all the evidence needed
that it was not the actual condition
of the prospective wheat crop which
was responsible for the unusual ad-
vances of late in wheat prices. AS is
generally the case, the advance was
due to the manipulations of the specu-
lof
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

One of the scientists has discovered
that the human body contains S,2OC
feet of gas This may explain why the
gas companies doing business in Kan
sas did not think it necessary to fur
nish a larger supply of their product
during the winter time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

No wonder some of the dogs are so
uneasy during flea time Some one has
Just put out the statement that thers
are 400 different kind of feas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18

Most of the June brides, if they have
any real friends. will receive a few
bushels of potatoes among their we'd
ding gifts,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Present indications are that Champ
C1ark's houn' dawg will be sleek and
fat by the time he reaches Baltimore.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-18
FROM OTHER PENS
RHopEs CHR1sr1AN AGAIN.

There is much more than passing in
| terest in the taking of Rhodes by Ital-
ian troops, its singular history being
| full of the rich and dramatic romance
of the crusades and of the early strug-
| giles of Christianity. The Knights of
Jerusalem conquered it in the year
| 1910, and took the name of the knights
| of Rhodes and under their sway
Rhodes for a hundred years was the
| most powerful state in the Mediterra-
mean, and her knights the militant de-
tenders of the cross and the inveterate
enemies of the followers of Mahomet
| their original duty having been to
guard and protect pilgrims on their
way from Europe to the holy sepul-
cher in Palestine. So revered were
they that when Philip lie Bel sup
pressed the knights Templars he was
not permitted by public opinion to
destroy the knights of Rhodes, who
were also the objects of his animosity.
After the conquest of Constantinople
Mahomet tried in vain to take Rhodes,
which resisted not only his efforts, bur
for many years those of his successors
who finally effected it's capture in 1922
when the island fell into the hands Of
the Turks. The famous city of Rhodes
once the stronghold of Christianity, be-
came a bulwark of Moslem rule in
the East. Many buildings and fortifi-
cations dating to the time of the Mo-
hammedan conquest may be seen today
III an SAcellenI state or preservation,
and the ancient city maintains the pic
turesque appearance it had in the six
teenth century. The temple of St John
was destroyed by an explosion in 1856,
but much of its beauty remains. and
the houses of the masters of each
of the nations of knights have also
wfthstood the ravages of time, rapine,
and battles. The Turks, during their
long period of suZerainty would not
permit a Christian to sleep within its
guarded walls. Now the arms of italy
have wrested it from the inffdel. the
crescent flag of the prophet has been
hauled down from it's walls, and we arc
brought to a realization of what a
short span, after all, in the history Of
the world is 400 years.-Washingto
Post.
DIRECTION WILL BE NEEDED.
The high hotel rates at Baltimore
and Chicago may force four or more
delegates to a room where ordinarily
one or two would be thought enough.
In arranging for rooms il NAV ne
necessary to exercise some discretion
with a view to harmony among the oc-
cupants. Four of a kind might do. hut
to assign two Taft men from Ohio AMI
two Roosevelt men from Oklahoma 20
the same number. or two Clark men
and two Wilson men, might not pro-
mote repose in sleep or the utmost con-
geniality during the waking hours Of
these patriotic representatives of the
people. 1t Is assumed that a prefereu-
tfal vote among the crowded oc
cupants will be taken before thew are
chucked into their quarters.-BIoom-
ington Paragraph