davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
More Light.
reality.

In view of the strong stand taken on
many occasions by The Washington
Herald on the need of better lighting
of the streets, it is only proper that We
should hasten to commend the efforts of
the Commissioners to remedy discred-
liable and unsafe conditions. We are
glad to see that something is being at
tempted in this direction. The lamps
that have already been erected are ar
tistic in design and of excellent lighting
power.
The work of properly lighting the
city is task of such magnitude that it
cannot be carried through in any way
other than by the piecemeal method
which has just been started. To replace
all of the old style lamps, to add new
ones 10 the many localities where now
faint glimmer serves only to make
darkness visible, and, above all, to
make Pennsylvania avenue what we
have. all along insisted it should be
made-one of the best-lighted thorough
fares in the world-will take more
money, time, and careful planning than
can be given to it in any one year, es-
pecially when that year is one of strict
administrative economy.
We note, too, the characteristic spirit
of commendable enterprise which
prompts some of the merchants in the
poorly lighted streets, especially in
parts of Seventh street, to share the ex-
pense incident to the installation of new
lamps near their places of business.
While we regret that there should be
any necessity for them to bear any such
burden as this, we also remember that
it is this very progressiveness which
makes the commercial service of the
city of Washington so excellent when
compared with that of other cities and
gives its people so many high-class
stores.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
STATESMEN, REAL AND NEAR.
By FRED C. KELLY.

War Secretary Stimson has one OF those
Airedale dogs-th. kind that has face
like comedian and a coat like ends OF
old rope. And everywhere that sumson
goes the dog Is sure to follow When
Stlmson Is at work in his Office the dog
curls up I'm a corner where he can keep
one eye on the boss and rests But If
the War Secretary steps down the cor
ridor to see somebody. the dog follows
him with the vigilance OF an Insurance
solicitor. Same way II he goes TO the
White House. Stimson's roam purp trots
rights into the executive chamber with
the utmost sang froid and II he took a
notion would Just as soon try to bury
bone right under the Presidents desk.
One day a doorkeeper failed TO distin-
guish between Stimson's Airedale and
the Congressman who were waiting their
turn to see the President. and failed to
open the door into the Presidents office.
but the dog made a detour through some
other rooms and got into the chamber
in time to hear the important part OF
the conference. To date. however, he
has refrained from attending Cabinet
meetings. but sits outside. looking as
gloomy as Senator Du POnt, Of Della
ware.
Stimson's dogs real name is, but the
boys about the White House have adopted
one for him. He Is Familiarity known as
IT. r.
Those who like to wax patriotic In
their speech now and then. and mention
about one land, one flag, no North. no
South. and all the phrases that go to
make up a good old Fourth OF July ad-
dress. can find a first rate text in Har-
vey B. Ferguson. one OF the two Rep
resentatives-at-large from New Mexico.
Fergussch's father organized one of
the first companies for the Confederate
army. and the new Congressman him
self was probably closer to Gen. Lee
than any man OF his time. And yet Fer
gusson has already served as delegate
to Congress from New Mexico. and was
one OF the first men spoken of to rep
resent the new State when It nudged
into the Union. His colleague. Curry,
is a Republican. and he a Democrat.
but that made no difference.
When Ferguson was attending Wash
ington and Lee University his struggle
| against poverty and overalIs caught the
attention OF Gen. Lee. president of the
college. eFrgusson was the direct an
tIthesis of the modern college boy, with
plum coIored plush hat. varsity clothes
| for varsity men, Jeweled fraternity
pin, and bulldogs; he worked on a farm
| for his board, and wore clothes so shah
| by that he avoided the society OF all
the other students The one intimate
| friend he made was Gen. Lee. who took
such a fancy to him that he invited the
boy to keep a desk in his cffice and do
n nAN~fFa nh NkAN~ ~aHVTl
| converse at odd times
\ Later on FERGUSON practiced law al
Wheeling. ". Va. until chance shifted
him from there down to the State he
twas destined to represent in Congress
A man named John Valentine Winters
died down in New Mexico worth a lot
Of money. He was supposed 10 be with
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03

, out heirs. but some people in wheelins
recognized the name as that OF a long
lost brother. and they sent Ferguson
to New Mexico to save them a few hun
dred thousand dollars out OF the dead
mans estate. He turned the trick, but
II took several months of digging up
proofs about birthmzri<s and one thing
and another. and by the time the case
was settled Ferguson also was settled.
He saw no reason why an energetic,
seIf-respecting citizen should forsake a
large and growing Territory like New
Mexico and go back to dwell in such a
place as Wheeling. w. Va. So he stayed
right in Albuquerque until the New Mex
leans got around to sending him on to
Congress.
A year or two ago Ferguson deliv-
cred lincoln Day address. The next
day one of the local papers made this
comment: "The late war Is indeed all
over when the son of a Confederate SOL
dier and intimate associate OF Robert E.
Lee can get up and give the eulogy that
Harvey B. Ferguson passed on Abraham
Lincoln"
Even yet, after being IN Congress for
year, young Mr.. Billy Murray occas-
ionally strikes a strange doorkeeper at
one OF the side entrances tc the House
chamber. and is obliged 10 explain that
he is not a mere boy but a regular clay
worsted Congressman with seven pock-
cts and a fob.
When he arrived on the scene last
April, Murray. then not thirty years Of
age. was obliged 20 devote almost his
entire time to convincing BARRIERS. door
keepers, and other employees about the
Capitol that he was entitled TO all the
rights, privileges, and prercgatives that
his precocIty let him in on. A day or
two after Congress convened. Represent
to what he took for 4 youngster near
him and said: Here. boy, take these
papers to my Committee room right
away Then hurry back"
| oh certainly, SIR" said young Mr..
Billy Murray. for 1t was indeed our hero.
and he did the chore without revealing
his Identity. But when he returned. he
walked boldly up 10 Sulzer. and said:
II wish 10 make an arrangement with
you whereby from now on you will call
me not boy but Mr.. Murray" And
they have been getting alorE with much
smity ever since
Similar adventures still befal Luke
Lea, holder OF the youngest Senator rec
\ ord. Only a week ago Lea was halted
at a House doorway by a page boy who
bade him go 10 the gallery, II he wished
| to witness the wheels OF the House in
motion, as the floor was reserved for
/ members.
But isn't a Senator allowed on the
/ ioor?" inquired Lea
| The boy merely laughed uproariously,
not deeming Lea's query pertinent enough
| to call for a reply.
Senator Nixon, OF Nevada, has been
from Frisco TO New York and back
probably fifty times. but nevertheless
has seen comparatively little Of the
country. as habit has always compelled
him 10 go by the same railway route.
/ Copyright. 1872. hy Fred g Sciy. All rights &c.
4 served.l
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
"The Smart Young Man of Busi.
ness"

The superb metropolitan impersonal-
ism which is the dominant Characters
tic of the progressive and efficient
young business man" of the present day
IS meeting severe criticism.
The thin and base ideal, called EFF
fciency,' is Matching a race Of simple
tons" says a writer in the New York
Sun. Foreign impressionists have often
declared that the essentially native
American manner-that business ideal
of unerring directness. not necessarily
brusque, but always crisp and incisive-
was robbing our social intercourse oil
color. personality, charm, and vivacity
To certain extent this is true.
The future of the nation does not be-
long to the young man bred OF system
and method and science, the gIorifed
"grocer's boy" of the present age. In
business he has gone far; he has been
accepted as the correct and the success
full type. But while he may, by reason
of his training, be a master of method
and efficiency. he will lack personality
and power-the power to rule men.
The bright, rising young man of big
business is chiefly smiles. virtue, and
really guile. He is a conservative in
his twenties, which means that he is a
knave; worse, indeed. than the fool who
is radical in his age" These are words
from social philosopher and critic oi
the United States which contain more
than a modicum of truth.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
MATCHES
Ey GEORGE FITCH
XufhoT of at Good Old SiDdsI"

A match Is canned confiagration
which is usually carried in some one
eIse's vest pocket 1t is practically the
only thing which can be borrowed and
never paid back without injuring the
borrowers credit.
A match is made by tipping splinter
OF wood with a small sample OF the
future residence OF a misspent life. 1t
can be ignited by drawing 1t transversely
across the rear outside OF a pair OF
cheap trousers from northeast to south
west. or by scratching it on a lamp post.
or a white enameled door frame, or a
public building. or a red and gold wall
paper at 81 roll.
Matches are a modern marvel. A hum
dred years ago there were no matches
to speak Of and only a few men had
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
STRAY SHOTS.

From the Arizona Gazette
A former president of the Adams Ex-
press Company has papered one OF the
rooms in his home with railroad bonds,
which cover $50 square feet. But the
railroad in question is exceedingly dead,
and the wall paper indicates to what
extent the financier bit
Fruun the Catholic Standard and Times
"Politeness pays, raymember this"
Said courteous Mike o'Grady,
"An' be a gintleman-unless
1t happens ye're lady"
From the Boston Herald.
A man of seven feet six wishes to ad-
minister justice in Michigan. Should the
heavens fall he would be the first to
get struck
From the Chicago Evening Post
Ben Wright. young lawyer In Denver,
recently handed to Judge Allen Of the
District Court a report written in long
hand.
what figure is that?" asked the judge.
That's a fve," answered the lawyer.
"You make a very poor five"
"Yes. judge, and some days don't
make any at an"
From the New York Evening Mail.
What will be the name of the president
of Mexico in six weeks 1t Is hard to tell.
but we should guess that 1t will look
something like Diaz-Madero-Vasquez
Gomez-orozco-zapsta.
From the Deseret Evening News.
DIR. Harvey W. wiIey's wife thinks
that wives should be paid a salary.
What Is the need OF a salary when they
have the right TO go through their hus-
bands pockets7
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03

that many a man buys ten dollars worth
each year. There is a moral in this.
but the railroad magnate VINO faints
at the idea OF selling rides at one cent
mile cannot see it,
\ match is a little thinz-mereIy a
stick and a sputter-but II is so impor-
tant that many a man whose time Is
worth SO n minute Will stop work and
hunt through eighteen pockets for one:
and IL he cannot md a match, ne Will
go to a friend, whose time is worth s.
a minute and stop his work while he
borrows one. Men are divided into two
Classes-thOSe who can get along without
matches and those who have never been
able 10 give up the cigar habit. When
man learns TO smoke, he becomes a
slave to the match. He can get along
without his wife for three months, while
she seashores. but without a match he
is lost and useless and distressed To
findwhether or not a man is a slave to
tobacco, seach his vest pockets. II you
find there a match, blackened with age.
you will be perfectly safe IN Offering
him your last cigar.
Originally, matches were tipped with
sulphur and had to be scratched with
great energy and persistence, after which
II became necessary to go away until
the head was consumed. But great i'm
provements have been made In matches
in the last generation. We have now the
edible match which can be eaten by
babies with marked benefit; the safety
match which cannot be lighted unless
you can find the box IL came In; the
windy weather match which cannot be
extingushed until 1t has burned out like
Senator la Toilette; and the noiseIess
and smell-less match which is a boon
to the burglar profession and 70 hus-
bands who come in late at night.
Matches are a great boon 10 mankind
but should not be treated careIessly. One
OF the easiest ways to get rid of n
house. OF which you have become wearied.
is to leave a box or matches around
where a baby or a mouse can get a
little innocent amusement out or It
Copyright 19l2. By George Matthew Adamsl
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
"Can the Chinese Republic En-
durew

From the North American ReTisr.
The Chinese have enjoyed during many
centuries the practice Of self-government
and majority rule under the very eyeG
of the worst despots that ever sat en-
throned. For I'm sheer self-defense
against official corruption the people or
ganized all sorts Of secret unicns, the
most widely known of which among
Americans and Europeans are the trade
guilds. These unions dispensed justice
between man and man and governed the
conduct of trade. Their leaders inaugu-
rated and enforced the policy OF honesty
that gives Chinese financial credit to-day
the highest standing in the world. Ibe-
lieve that the world has never seen a
more dramatic proof OF this fact than
the present status Of the Chinese govern
ment bond.
The Imperial Chinese government 5
per cent Hukuang Railways sinking
fund gold loan bond was offered for
public subscription at 81 and accrued
interest After more than three months
of revolution, when the Pekin govern
ment has lost nearly fifteen provinces
out of the eighteen of China proper:
when not only the Pekin treasury but
also the revolutionary republicans are
bankrupt. are actually without money
to pay their soldiers and administra-
tive expenses; when the whole country
Is overrun with armed bandits: busi-
ness strangled TO death by anarchy;
when there are said TO be $1,000 people
without food; when the Ia Using
dynasty and the glories that were
Kanghi and KueIIung are ready to give
up the imperial ghost as eagerly as
any scared burglar-to-day, when all
these things and more are true. what
is the price you will have to pay for
the Chinese bond? Ninety-four-only
three points of the original price!
1t Is a financial miracle.
The real author of the miracle Is the
traditional reputation of Chinese COM
mercIaI integrity. Whatever happens
so the faith of the foreign capitalists
seems to say-the Chinese know what
commercial and financial obligation
means; they understand the meaning
of a contract as no other race of people
do: our money is safe whatever hap
pens. Do not such facts promise
a long and happy future for the infant
Chung Hwa republic.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
COAL WITHOUT MINING.
Sir william Ramsay to Test n New
Important Theory.

From the New York Sun
Sir William Ramsay announces that he
IS going to test his theory that gas can
be made underground from the coal with
out the latter being mined. He has re-
ceived permission from a pit owner TO
try his experiment on a small scale. Sir
William says:
IF this experiment is a success a
candle may be lighted which will not be
extinguished In our time"
What is to hinder the coal being light
ed. where II is and the air being passed
down In the right quantities? II water
gas is wanted. water could be passed
down. 1t would soon become steam. The
right thing to do wouId be to use gas
engines at the pits mouth, which is
the most economical form OF power. Hav-
ing made electricity at the pits mouth.
II would cost very little to transform II
and convey 1t hundreds of miles
Sir William put forth his theory n an
address at the opening OF the Interna-
tional Smoke Abatement Exposition
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03

roads movement by the Quebec to
Miami" slogan it is probable that "on
to Richmond" will now be the propel-
ling. effective cry of the enthusiasts. The
meeting at the Chamber of Commerce
Monday means business. The business
men of the two cities, acting in unison
and with real determination, can go far
toward making the needed highway a
reality.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
''The CrowninE Glory of Washing
ton Was Renunciation.,

"The CrowninE Glory of Washing
ton Was Renunciation.o
Prom the North American Review
The crowning glory of George Wash.
ington was remuneration. Twice he had
been chosen unanimously to serve as
President of the new republic. A third
election required only his silent acquIes-
cence. Abroad he was regarded as a
chief magistrate installed for life-a con-
stitutional king in all but name. Democ-
racy meant no more than the familiar
dominance of a ruler and a class In a
new form. Government by the people
continued to be a myth. Revolution had
only severed political ties. The substance
OF control such as held the nations of
Europe was to be perpetuated on the
Western Hemisphere. Monarchs breathed
more freely; aristocracy sneered- Then
came, like bolt from the blue, the dec
laration from George Washington that
at the expiration OF his second term he
should return to private life. II was a
calm and measured averment, but defi-
mite and final. None questioned the Pres
ident's sincerity; none dreamed OF sug-
gesting reconsideration upon public or
patriotic grounds in time OF alleged need
Washington embodied Truth. His were
words OF probity and fidelity And his
act signalized the confirmation in fact of
the profession which had been advanced
in theory OF the perpetuation. no less
than the mere establishment. of popular
sovereignty II was a notification to all
the world of the actual beginning Of the
greatest experiment in government ever
known. OF the experiment which has con-
served the liberties. the prosperity. and
the happiness of q population already in
creased thirtyfold, which has driven ar
bitrary rule out of the Western Henri
sphere and which has cut the foundations
j from under the tottering thrones OF Eu-
xope.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
RECALL INDIFFERENCE.
One View of RooseveIt's Stand on
the Judiciary.

the Judictary.
From the PitisburE Dispatch.
The Cleveland Leader. Roosevelt organ
for that city, makes a strenuous effort
to use the decision OF the United States
Supreme Court in the patent case of
Dick versus Henry as an argument in
favor of the recall Of judicial decisions.
The following indisputable facts bearing
on that argument show the confusion
OF mind prevalent among Its advocates.
The promulgator and inventor of this
idea stated in his Columbus speech that
the decision of the United States Su-
preme Court on a Constitutional ques-
ton should be final One Of his organs
represents that the recall OF decisions
would be an effective cure for this deci-
sion by the United States Supreme Court
The same authority stated in his Out
look article that II is not proposed TO
apply the right of the recall to ordinary
cases between individuals. but only TO
constitutional issues in the State Su-
preme Courts. There Is no constitutional
issue In this case: Il IL only between in
dividuals, and II has never been in a
State court.
The same authority has decided that
all he wants is 10 give the people OF
the various States the same facility for
correcting an unpopular decision that
the people of the United States have
by constitutional amendment 1t is
merely a sIdelight so far as the present
point is concerned, that the people of
the States have the power of amending
their State constitutions. The bearing
on the citation OF this patent case as an
illustration OF the need for the recall is
that its correction does not require either
a recall election or an amendment of the
Constitution. 1t can be corrected by act
of Congress within the next thirty days
II Congress wishes.
Would 1t not be wise for the advocates
of this idea TO hold a convention and
define what their doctrine really is?
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
TRIMMING DAY" AT SCHOOL.
What Happens TO Some Children In
Old Kentucky.
Fru.n the shepberdsTills News

Frun the shepherdsEille News
Last Thursday was general trimming
day at the ShepherdsviIIe High School
On that day Prof. Thompson knocked the
dust on twenty-nine pair OF trousers. lie
broke all records for whipping boys. He
met all corners; big boys. little boys. tat
boys, lean boys, bright boys. green boys,
and other boys were called up and nber-
ally treated to hickory OIL Several OF
the youngsters had needed a Trailing or
failing or whaling for some time and
when twenty-seven were caught aiding
and encouraging a tight, Prof. Thompson
just called up the whole twenty-nlne. IN
cluding the fighters, and warmed them
up in fine fashion.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
ANNIVERSARY DATA.
APRIL 3, 1912.

Fifty years ago to-day Gen. Nc
Clellan, having received his appoint
ment as commander of the Army Of
the Potomac, started with his troops
up the peninsula formed by the James
and York rivers, on the line of ap-
proach to Richmond.
The Hon. Andrew ]. Peters, who
represents the Eleventh district of
Massachusetts, in Congress. was born
at jamaica Plain, Boston, forty years
ago to-day.
The Hon. Atterson w. Rucker, who
represents the First Colorado district
in Congress, is sixty-five years of age
to-day. He was born in Harrodsburg.
Mercer County, KY.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
a New Route.

From the Saturday Evening Post
"Yes, gentlemen" shouted an orator at
a recent convention in New Orleans,
this Panama Canal will be a great thing
for New Orleans-a grand thingi 1t will
increase our business and our facilities
for doing business. 1t will make trade
easier for US. Why, gentlemen of the
convention, it will enable US to get our
manufactures and produce to Brazil
without going round the Horn"
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03

time enough to acquire the cigar habit.
Fifty years ago matches cost quarter
a box, and a box was made TO last a
year in a frugal family. Now matches
cost a penny a box and are so cheap
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
ROOSEVELT RANDOMS.

From the Baltimore Sun.
The colonel is still standing on the Co.
lumbus speech, while everybody else is
jumping on it.
From the Chicago Record Herald.
Col. Roosevelt wears an overcoat which
has fur collar. Men who have been re-
framing from wearing fur collars owing
TO the fear that il might be molIycoddIish
may go ahead now and swathe their
necks in fur.
From the Ohio State Journal.
We don't believe BelIamy Storer and
Dear Maria are the kind of people to be
carried away by spontaneous enthusiasm.
From the Boston Herald.
Roosevelt thinks his is not a cooked
hat, but a steam-rolled one.
From the Boston Traveller.
Col Roosevelt doesn't want TO be king.
he says. He wants "a full sized mans
job" And in trying to defeat Taft, he
seems to have his hearts desire.
From the Houston Daily Post.
There was much talk when the colonel
first announced, but now the people
merely laugh when his name is men
toned.
From the Richmond Journal.
Well, the colonel only SHE'D his old hat
in the ring. Time to get a new one,
anyway.
From the Providence CR. u Journal.
At the hour of going to press the
Roosevelt confagration was under con-
troll.
From the Columbia Is. c. State
Be it remembered that the dame who
heckled the colonel has the suggestive
name OF Maud.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
TABLOID POEM.

Trees.
Leas.
Growing green;
Birds,
Herds
Dot the scene
Kline
Dine
Near the brook;
Fish
Swish.
Dodge the hook.
Bats.
Gnats
On the wing;
Buds,
Duds-
This is spring.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
IFS nm HI wind.

From the F1iesends Blaetter.
officers Servant Cwaiting at his mas
ter's dinner party. for the first time) to
the principal guest-Soup, sir. and I've
blown In it already.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-03
In the Park,

That bed Of tulips .yonder is at
tractive."
Very attractive. Looks like a big tray
of Manhattan cocktails" declared the
other wayfarer on the bench.