Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-14

You are forever in our minds,
We think about you daily.
Down in the dismal, darksome depths
In your most humble station
You cheerfully perform our task,
And ask for nc vacation.
A faithful servant, tried and true,
We think it right to mention
The fact we think your masters should
Retire you on q pension.
o click and chatter all the day
And seem to tire out never.
For men may come and men may go
But you 60 on forever.
FROM THE HICKEYVILLE
Am Hilliker says If there is anything
ON earth he would rather do than some
thing else, it is to pose for a dentist for
a set of teeth or a few lead filings.
clean plum forgot about. that balky
hoss he let Doc have on trade four
years ago and what Doc did TO him
was a plenty. He sent out and got Il
set of burglar tools to yank AIMS teeth
with and said he was sorry. but he
was al out'n chloroform and ether
and laffing gas. Every time he thought
of that balky boss he hit Am an extra
clip or So with the maui. Then he let
Am go without any teeth at all for
about six weeks and Am had to live on
soup and mush n milk until he got so
weak he ouldn crawl up Docs stairs
any more to ask for the teeth. Finally
Doc got a set from a mail order house
and they didn't fit AIMS face. but Am
is wearin' 'em although his mouth is
shet it nohow. His wife makes him
put 'em in the chiny closet with the
rest of the chiny every night.
Miss Pansy Tubbs desires to an
nounce that the runor to the effect
that she is engaged to Ansel Perkins
ic nrop1lt1Ira ao hn ain't asked hnr 1af
and she is going to turn him down
when he does. There doesn't seem to
be anything further to say in regard
to the matter and any editorial COM
ment by the Clarion would be super
fluous.
Hold Peters. youngest kid planted
some bird seed last fall and expects to
raise a flock of canaries this coming
season.
Hank Purdy a y it seems durn
strange that. although congress keeps
adding more states. the MAJ Of this
country don't get no bigger.
Hi Haskin's brother, who is the liy-
ing skellington for a circus in the sum-
mer and is SO thin that you kin play
a tune on his ribs with a couple of
sad accident took place to Deacon
Purdy's n day last week as
the deacon was on his way home from
the grucery store with a jug OF cider in
one HAND and a dozen of eggs in the
other. The sidewalk was some slicker-
ish in front of Am Perkins barbershop
and the deacon sat down quite sudden,
suffering the fracture OF about a dozen
rips and the dozen eggs.' The deacon
says he don't mind Dustin the ribs, but
also suffered a compound fracture of
the cider jug. The jug was all busted
up, but the cider was so hard it didn't
break.
Owing to the high price Of meat. the
Supreme Knights of the Universe has
felt called upon to s%acraf1ce their lodge
goat and there will be q barbecue in
the lodge hall up over the drug store
next Tuesday evening. Amos Butts.
our gentlemanly undertaken, also livery,
feed n sales stables, has got one of
them big calendars which just gives
one date on each sheet and Amos says
he can't ever keep track Of what day
1t is, for he can't remember whether he
pulled the sheet off or left it on. -Four
days went by last week unbeknown to
Amos and he missed a funeral by two
days, but it didn't make such differ
ence as Amos is the only undertaken
here and the late deceased had to wait
fer him.
Nick Longworth that he is
supporting Taft still. and that is one
of The best ways for Nick to support
anybody.
A woman nine feet tall was married
in Missouri this week. h ought to
be able to reach the high cost Of living.
There are a lot OF presidential pos
abilities who will have to go back to
work again next summer.
But doubtless he would rather be
called the eminent Roosevelt than the
imminent Roosevelt.
There seems to be room now for a
democratic Ananias club.
"A New York woman rescued a man
from the slums and then married him.
hat may or may not be considered a
rather doubtful sort Of rescue.
But China will never b. a republic
like the United States until it adopts
baseball as its one absorbing passion.
Ohio will have a new constitution.
Her old one is terribly run down, es-
pecially by the magazine writer's.
Mr.. Edison says Chicago is dirty.
That remark, by the way. is no an
invention.
Livin' pictures was given at our opry
house last week by the Ladies' aid.
Hank Purdy and Hold Renfrew posed
tor The Rasslers," and Hold reached
into Hanks back pocket fer to get
n bottle while they was in a
clinch and Hank soaked Hod on the
bugle something desperate. That was
the most successful picture of the eve
ming when 1t got to going good and
Constable Ezra Whipple busted into it
just in time to go salin' through the
winder and out on a snowbank. That
was the last picture Of the evening. as
somebody turned in a nre alarm and
everybody had to go to the fire, which
was a fizzle n wasn't half as good
as the pictures.
Miss Euphemia Perkins, our poetess
of passion, has won four packages Of
tobacker for sending In the best poem
0hnpNk S6E04AAA ut Tho H-AIyn T->a-ee