New-York tribune., 1912-01-21

upon him at his hotel, but I didn't mind
that. for after calling me down good and
hard he'd always wind up by tossing me a
gold coin.
"Between the addresses and the American
Society l had enough money TO live nicely,
but as I wanted extra spending money and
fine togs I turned guide. OF course, in those
days | didn't know the Louvre from the
morgue. and I found out l didn't have TO
10 make good. 7 was very slow a picking
up the language, too but all l needed was
a few friends among the csbbies and the
French words: 'Je sue lfnterprete."
That's all any guide needs 10 know TO
start in with. After that he can pick up
the language as he goes along. Any man
that goes broke over here can learn the
city in three days-that IS, all the places
that the American tourists want 70 see"
1t gets a little slow here in the summer
time" a third guide" confessed to me
over a grenadine-au-kirsch in front OF the
| Cafe de la Plix.
But we follow the crowd 20 Trouville,
AK les Bans. and so forth and touch the
| rich Americans and English people for our
| expenses. Possibly half Of the boys stay
right here and work the summer visitors.
| They don't have as much money TO spend
as the people who come here during the
season have but there's always enough
| doing 10 pay expenses and have a bit left
over 70 blow in"
| Suppose an American went 70 the con-
sui general" I vcntCred. "A bona fide
| case Of distress. What would he do?'
He'd most likely have him thrown out
OF his Office" laughed the man from Los
Angeles I've heard that he said that II
he sent every one back home that asked
him he'd have TO charter the Mauretania
or the Lucy lie wouldn't listen to a
man for a minute He wouldn't pay a
| Vassar graduates bus fare. In the dsst
| place, the United States has no relief
fund for distressed citizens stranded
abroad. You've got 10 be a shlpwrecked
sailor in order TO interest any consul. In
the second place, the consuls all along ths
line from St. Petersburg to Liverpool have
been worked TO a standstill by all kinds OF
buns and sharks.
I'm the third place, the consul general at
Paris is particularly sore on American
grafters on account OF a trick played on
the old consul general just before the fair.
guy came over here with a forged let
ter Of introduction TO him from a United
States Senator. lie was taken right into
the generals home and treated like a men,
Der Of the family. The second day he Dor.
rowed 1000 francs from the general, got
drunk and insulted the women OF the fami-
ly Since that time there's nothing doing
at the building on the Avenue de TOpera,
and / don't blame the new consul general
at all. The guy was too fresh, and
through his coarse work a lot OF decent
people whove gone broke over here have
suffered"
Some OF the guides" present a smart
appearance and occupy luxurious quarters
Even at that they are spending less than
they earn" and are saving for the rainy
days 10 come Others are satisfied with a
cot in some cheap garrett They are not
so bold as the frst-described, or, possibly
absnthe or Amer Picon is responsible for
their mode of living. Like society, the
American guides and panhandlers OF Paris
have their cllques and castes, and great
gulf separates the dressy man with the
rattan stick from the shivering vagabond
who tugs at your coat sleeve and whispers
that he knows where abSinthe can be OBJ
tanned for three sous.
But as to the guides. generally speaking,
they know nothing OF French history yet
they know the route to Versailles: they
know nothing of art, yet they will conduct
you TO the Louvre and advise you TO pur-
chase a catalogue; they pose as interpret
crs. yet most of them know less than forty
French words. But they do know the shop
keepers who pay the largest commission,
the near-naughty resorts of Montmartre
and more or less about the musty garrets
and garish dance halls of the Quarter
Latin-and there we will leave them.