Putnam patriot., 1912-04-19
Universal
 FurnisherS INCL
I0II. by Associated Literary Prsssl
By Frank H. Williams

Just tell us what you want and We II get it.
 OUR PRICES ARE MERELY
 NOMINAL
 What you want furnished when you want It. Give us a trial.
 UNIVERSAL FURNISHEBS. tINCJ
 That the ad thatH bring em!" Sam Culbertson. the aged president and practically sole owner of Uni versal Furnishers Gne)" spread the morning paper before him on his handsome new desk and leaned back in his richly upholstered new chair. He ran his hands through his scant locks. screwed up his far from hand some face and wiaked at Sallie Jor- dan, his pretty steBegrapher
 'Thisll be the best HJtle graft ever worked"
 sallie locked far from pleased at this announcement. sam laughed loudly at her expression.
 My dear girl" there was vast cendescensfon in his voice. T call everything do a graft There's nothing wrong about the scheme. You needn't feel at all worried, even If you have got one share of stock and even if you are one of the incoT- porators. Neither does Bill. the of fee boy, need to feel worried though he's got share and is also one of the incorporators. No one need feel worried, because this business is go- ing to be fair and above board. and it'll be about the only square thing I've been in for 20 years"
 But why do you call 1t a graft then?' Sallie spoke timidly. She was fresh from business college and this was her first position.
 eI call everything graft, but that word is good in this case, because 1t will be something of a graft in the prices I charge the customers. You see, people who are so anxious to get things that they will employ pro fessional getter to get them, will pay almost any price if the getter is sue cessful That's where the graft comes in. An, Sallie, 1t will be wonderful what prices we can charge our dear customers and still get away with it."
 But you say our prices are nomi- nal.'" Sallie's voice indicated her tn- dignation.
 My dear little church worker. our prices are nominal-camparatiy nominal We will scale them nicely to what our customers think the thing we get for them is worth. Now its all fair and square-just forget your Puritan conscience for time. I'd hate to have one of my fellow incorporators out of sympathy with the plans of the business. An. heres our first batch of mail"
 Sam took the three letters extended to him by the postman and opened them rapidly. It took him but a mo ment to digest their contents.
 Three orders already, Sallfe. That's fine We'll just stop adver- Using until We get these orders out of the way. It would never do to burden the company with too much business at the start. Here's man in room 314-that's on the third floor of the Portland flats. He's making a collection of hats and he wants one worn by an American soldier in the Revolutionary war. Hum. that ought to be easy. Here's another. from Rudolph Erickson. SIT Jefferson street Rudolph wants key that will open a six-by-four trunk used by his grandmother. That's explicit, isn't it? Guess I better call him up and get fuller details-he gives his telephone number. And here's the third one some fellow by the name of Ernest Randolph. Ernest will not confide his desire to his letter; he wants to see a representative of the company. tell you what, Sallie, you go up and see Ernest. I'll be so busy with these two other cases that I won't have time to work him for graft Be sure and get a good fee from him-that's the important part you know-a big fee"
 Sallie was inwardly rebeiiious at being connected with any concern which even savored of graft. but she was exceedingly anxious to make a little money by working in an office. so she had no thoughts of resigning After all. the business was really ie- gitimate, and for her part she decided as she walked toward Ernest Ran dolph's address she would charge nothing but a perfectly honest. mod crate fee.
 When Sallie returned to the office she found Sam sprawled back in his chair and looking the picture of de- spondency.
 .This is the limit" Sam fired the remark at her the moment she en- tered the room. Here I've incor- norated for s1 .0o0 and really put s200 in the company. which I've put into ofsce furniture, and now 1t looks like I was up against brick wall. This thing isn't going to go so well as l thought it would. Now you'd think ii wouldn't be such laundering hard iob to find hat worn by an Ameri- can soldier in the Revolutionary war and the key to a six-by-four trunk which A mans grandmother used and which he doesn't want to break. but which, also, yet once more. he wants to find out what's inside of 1t. But let me tell you right now. young lady. that Its one deuce of job. If I charge these fellows what their jobs are really worth I'll put both Of 'em in the bankruptcy court. don't believe I'll ever be able to find what they want. The business Is on the blink. This concern will never be able to find any one what they want H
 Sallie's blushing smile stopped him
 You don't mean that your cilent had something easy?" Sams ejacuia'