The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-09-02
Julia Street. in Golfers Weekly. K FEW YORK next stop!"

A in the Pullman uniform falls upon you with his whisk and brushes from your clothes-some money. It is his humble way of saying: "Welcome to our clty;" of helping you to get acclimatized, so that when our parasitic population pounces on you with all sorts of services you don't desire, you'll follow the metro politan custom and reach for your change pocket instead of your gun pocket.
 Presently your train stops with long, whimpering sigh, which seems to say T wouldn't dump lot of trusting strang- CTS in New York like this, but l need the money" That is the New York point of view; try to get accustomed to 1t, ''e all know that Its a shame to take the money and taking it, protest half apolo- getically that i've need it in our busi- ness"
 You and Dulcine alight. You pass your two small handbags to station porter. You carried them to the train yourself when you left home, but this isn't home, this isn't anybodys home; it's just New York. And in New York one hands ones bags to porters, just to show-well just to show.
 Taxi? Certainly. Close as the hotel Is, you mustn't let people think that you are close too. It would never do to arrive at the hotel on foot. They'd think that you were trying to save money. Save money, indeed! You,- freeborn Amer ican! Like to see anybody try to com promise you like that! So the station porter takes your little bags to the taxi and gets his, and the taxi driver drives you and your little bags 10 the hotel and gets his, and the carriage starter Gin a uniform copied from that worn by King George at the durbar) helps you and your little bags out and gets his, and the bellboy sweeps down like a wolf on the fold, carries your bags in, waits while you register and give your trunk checks to the porter. shows you to your room. unlocks the door, and sets the bags upon the table. You reach in your pocket for dime, but the bellboy suspects you. He Is afraid that 1t will be a dime. Therefore, before the coin Is passed, he leaps to the win dows and regulates the shades. 1T they are down he lets them up; if up he pulls them down. Then he regards them crit ically, to see that they balance. All this extra attention has placed you under add ed ''obligations' to the bellboy. The dime won't do. Make it a quarter. Thank you. sir. Anything else. sir?'
 Yes; some drinking water and change for this fixer-bring plenty of small sill ver."
 "Yes, sir."
 He departs. You and Dulcine unpack the little bags that have been carried by so many hands. Presently there comes a rap at the door. Come in!'
 It proves to be boy with the change another boy. He holds the silver salver patiently while you collect the smaller | coins-all but a couple of them which you leave upon his tray. With five who-e dollars of ones money in plain view one must be rather liberal.
 Thank you. sir "Where's that drinking water that or dered?"
 l "It'll be right up, sir | Have my trunks come?"
 "Iu find out and let you know. sir | "Oh, mo-" you say. hurriedly correcting the slip. You needn't let me know. Just tell the porter to hurry them up when they come.'
 "Yes, sir.''
 He exits. At once there comes an. other rap.
 "Come!''
 It Is a boy with the ice water-still an other boy. He empties it into the pitcher on your table.
 Anything else, sir?" "Yes. I want these clothes pressed before dinner.'' You indicate your dress
 suit, lying on the bed.
 "Yes,, sir I'll send the valet" replies
 the boy, eagerly regarding your right hand.
 "very well" The hand doles out dime
 The boy departs.
 The porter now arrives. wheeling youl
 two trunks upon his little truck.
 Grunting and perspiring, as only hote
 porters can, he places them against th'
 wall and undoes the snaps and straps Had you not been in your room when h'
 arrived he would have dumped them locks to the wall. and gone away,
 .'There, sor! he puffs. wiping from hi brow the beads of precipitation whicl hotel porters can summon as emotiona