The Grenada sentinel. [volume] (Grenada, Miss.) 1868-1955, 1912-12-20
Yarns That kanSanS Call Facts,
Says the Kansas City Journal:

S"S us ivy
The other day Tom McNeal received
this letter from D. w. McVey of Xe-
MIA, Ohio: Gould you kindly tell me
where | could receive some fairy tales
or exaggerated reports about Kansas
crops, winds, weather, grasshoppers,
etc? | have a few of them now. One
says that it is so dry you have to run a
Kansas well through a wringer to get
some water; another say you nave to
soak a hog over night so that he will
hold swill; still another says that the
wind blows so hard that it moves town
ship lines and changes the day of the
week; still another brags about the
wonderful sweet alfalfa and asserts
that there is a shortage of pumpkins
because the vines grow so fast that
they wear the pumpkins out dragging
them over tie ground. | shall be glad
if you will send me some additional
fairy tales of Kansas
To which Mr.. McNeal replied:
1.-The mistake you labor under is sup
resident Of Kansas, that is, any person
who has resided in the state for more
than thirty years, knows that the state
ments you regard as fairy tales are
mild statements of fact. Really dry
seasons are, of course, things of the
past, but old settlers all remember
when it was dry in Kansas. During one
oil the especially dry years back in the
tbs, it was common to have weepless
funerals, not because the relatives of
the deceased were not filled with sim
cere grief, but because their tear ducts
had run dry. Occasionally where the
bereaved family could afford the ex-
pense, the mOurners were primed and
III this way managed to pump up a tear
or two and sometimes as much as three,
but generally the minister officiating
would announce that on account of the
prolonged drouth tears would be omit
ted. 1t was during this same year that
the wind blew twenty-four hours every
day and some days blew twenty-six.
Women and children were frequently
blown away many miles from their
happy homes, but this caused no appre-
hension or worry because the next day
the wind changed and blew them back
The settlers provided themselves with
large nets attached to poles. When a
flock of women and children were blow
ing over the settler would deity catch
the members of his own family in his
net and let the others blow on. Many
men became very expert METERS. 1t
was that year the expression 81 don't
know where I'm going, but I'm on the
way" originated. Persons who were
blown across the country would thus
pleasantly salute their n~eighbors as
they passed.
The stories about the pumpkins are
chestnuts. They did not originate in
Kansas and we repudiate them. To be-
gin with, no vine is strong enough to
drag a Kansas pumpkin. The great diff
ficulty in raising pumpkins in Kansas is
to keep the pumpkin from pulling the
vine out of the ground. 1t is true that
Kansas alfalfa probably beats any in
the world, both for yield and sweet
ness. A Kansas bee-keeper says that
one trouble about raising bees near an
alfalfa field is that they gather too much
J honey. He had a large swarm of bees
located a mile from an alfalfa field.
One day he watched the workers go
out to gather honey, but didn't see any
I coming back. He didn't understand it,
and went over toward the alfalfa field
to see what was the trouble. About
. half way over he met the bees walking
back to the hive. They had loaded up
with honey till they couldn't fly and had
to walk and carry the load. He said
that he had to use over two quarts of
4 glycerine on the blistered feet of those
4 bees. The intelligent insects soon be-
came accustomed to the treatment and
would lie or their backs while he rub
bed glycerine on their sore feet. This
took so much time that it ruined the
profits of the business.