davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30
MELINDA
From the Rape of the Lock" On her white breast a sparkling cross she

From the Rape of the Lock- On her white breast sparkling cross she
 wore,
 Which Jews might kiss. and Infidels
 adore, Her lively looks sprightly mind dis
 close,
 Quick as her eyes. and as undxed as.
 those: Favors to none. to all she smiles ex- tends oft she rejects. but never once offends. Bright as the sun, her eyes the gazers strike. And, like the sun, they shine on all alike Yet, graceful ease. and sweetness void of pride, Might hide her faults. if belles had faults to hide; If to her share some female errors fall. Look on her face, and you'll forget them
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30
The Late Professor Cunningham

Menzel, the artist. has painted por- trait of the late Prot. J. B. Cunning ham, who was, for several years, and
 at the time of his death, the esteemed
 principal of the Birmingham High school The portrait is on exhibition
 at Mayer Brothers art store on Third avenue.
 Those who knew the original well speak in high praise of MT. Menzels
 " ork. Not only is the likeness good.
 but the flesh tints are warm and nat
 ural. Altogether the picture is an un- commonly fine specimen of the portrait rainters art
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30
MEAN BUSINESS

From the Houston Post.
 An Alabama lady has composed the 'underwood Grand March When the Alabamians begin to compose marches for their candidates they are just as much in earnest as the Tar Heels are when they begin to flood the earth with poetry
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

Chairman Mckinley of the Taft cam paign committee is a traction magnate, but still he rises up to call Colonel Roose- welt "a supreme egotist, an arch dem- agogue, a traitor and purveyor of false- hoods" This will do as starter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

The senatorial sea lawyers are not GOV erlng themselves with glory in the ri tanic case. A fog of contradictions ex- tends to almost every feature of the tragedy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

Mir Underwood's grandfather went to the south from Groton, Conn.,. and some of the eastern papers think the Connecti- cut votes will be cast for the majority leader after the first ballot.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

Buy your Music Festival seats early. The festival to be held here Friday and Saturday will be the great musical event of the season, and overflow housee are in order.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

It has Already cost New York S5o,ooo to keep Thaw in the Matteawan asylum. and she has not been able to keep him quiet there at all.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30
A DARK SUSPICION.

A DARK SUSPICION.
 My husband informed me that urgent business. detained him in town tonight said Mrs. Jagbitters to Mrs. Whooper My husband told me the same thingl' exclaimed Mrs Whooper.
 And I notice in this newspaper" con tinued Mrs. Jagbitters, her features har- dening slightly, that a celebrated Diving
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

The men behind the campaign funds will soon be lined up. but this will not occur in plain sight
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

TO get on the good side of man tell him he is good judge of human nature, and if that fails tell him he is an in- fallible judge of likker.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

The old Campanile of St. Marks stood a thousand years. and the hope in Venice is that the new one will roll up as good a rerpfd
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

The position of ex-Secretary Ballinger in this campaign is unknown. He evil dentiy prefers to keep out of a disreputa- ble scrap.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30
POETIC NAGARIES.

POE11C NAGARlES. The poet is a foolish wight, For greatly doth it please Him still to sing. with all his might, The things he never sees. Shut in by walls of stone and brick, He warbles of the vale Where yernal blossoms cluster thick And lovely lilies pale In beauty blow. He hears bird Sweet trilling of its love, When all the atmosphere is stirred. Below him and above, By traffics loud unceasing roar And countless kinds of noise, Which, truly, were they ten times more, Would not disturb his boise.
 CAN'T LAND" HIS STUFF. The prima donna has great faith in her press agent. That doesn't help her any, Why not?s.
 Because no city editor has any faith in her press agent
 A SAD AWAKENING. Who sees a land of roses In his dreams, Where trouble ne'er imposes And the gleams From palaces of beauty Take the eye, Doth hear the call of duty With a sigh.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

The Harvester trust Is unpopular in the west. where it's heaviest taxes are laid and collected.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

When Roosevelt speaks of good trust he means one that has been good to him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

The wireless system should gain regu- lation at least from the Titanic tragedy. That would be a worlds gain.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

An iceberg had the .1ast word" after all in the Titanic's case.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

Fear is at present regularly booked on all the liners.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

And this is another political week. Dem ocrats and republicans are both up and doing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

The women first' rule is held to be unapplcable to street cars. for on them women stand first, last and always.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

They are building a railroad across the great Australian desert, 1000 miles long.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

In pay-as-you-enter cars the particular the spot.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

Damp fclSle April will have run its course today. It has pleased no one, not even the baseball fans.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30
A GREAT BORE.

The man who thinks he knows it all- Confound him.-is q pest Whene'er he doth upon us call
 We're never at our best.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

Venus is billed to open a weeks engage1
 ment at local vaudeville theatre f1l night. W
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

The rain falls more on the just than the unjust, for the latter attach themselves to any umbrella in sight.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

b Nine out of ten men on the Titanic were
 heroes. This is considered a good aver age.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

Personalities are ontranking issues ir this campaign.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

Remittances can be made at current rate of exchange. The Age-Herald VIII not be responsible for money sent through. the mails. Address
 THE AGE-HERALD,
 Birmingham. Ala
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

No communication will be published without its authors name. ReJecteu manuscript will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

Free speech Is unrestricted at a baseball game.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

2. E. Morgan and W. G. Wharton are the only authorized travelling represen- tatives of The Age-Herald in it's eircu- lation department.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

Eastern business office. Rooms AS to 50, inclusive, Tribune building, New York city; western business office Tribune building, Chicago. The ,. U. Beckwith Special Agency. agents 1or- eign advertising.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30
TELEPHONES

Bell (private exchange connecting all iepartments), No. 4OO0.
 Peoples, Editorial rooms, 231; busi- ness office, 230.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30
INCREDIBLY FRANK.

INCREDIBLY FRANK. A candid north Missouri editor, referringl to wedding in his home town. says They were married at the home Of the brides parents, where they will remain until the groom gets job. Kansas city Times.
 
 DRAWING INTEREST.
 Unlike your clerks,
 Said Simon Heep.
 Your money works
 While you're asleep
 A MERE OBSERVATION Although there Is really nothing in a name, we are pleased to note that MT. Robert Dollar is a prominent commer- cial representative in China.
 INSATIABLE Although the game of politics Is nothing but a bluff, Some men, who're always up to tricks, Just never get enough.
 AS EVER. ."Do you know what you are going to do this summer?' Sure
 "What?'' ''Wish it was winter"
 HOW TO BE POPULAR. Methinks the world. whate'er it be, Will much applaud The bard who writes no parody Concerning Maud. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

Daily and Sunday Herald. =. $500 Daily and Sunday. per month";. " Daily and Sunday. three months. 2'OO sundav Aee-Herald 200 Weekly Age-Herald, per annum.. .oO
 Subscription payable In advance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, postoffice as second class matter under act of Congress March 3, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-30
PICTURESQUE DETAIL"

From the Louisville Courier-JournaI. "HE dimensions of the tragedy gave
 it a peculiar dignity, and the story
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-29
AYHAWKER JOTsS

The battle" at Vera Cruz was very
crude thinks the Ottawa Republic.
A man doesn't have to aim very
high to hit the dollar mark, points
out the Fort Scott Republican.
Kansas, reports the Ottawa Herald,
has raised a little of everything this
notwithstanding a handsome number
of mortgages.
Now there is a demand, points out
the Leavenworth Post. for the man
who can make four ears of corn grow
on cOrnstalk.
This is the time of the year." points
out the associate editor of the Engle-
wood Leader-Tribune, when candi-
dates for office begin talking to death
what little chance they may have had"
The greatest tragedy of married life
is not divorce, as you may have i'm
agined, says the ottawa Herald. IT is
when Pa breaks his suspenders, the
baby wakes up crying and the biscuits
fall-all on the same morning.
Many years ago, when Senator In
gals was in the senate, oleomargarine
was a bone of contention, recalls the
Wichita Eagle. The debate led In
gals to utter one of the those cpl
grammatic sentences which made him
famous 81 have never, to my knowl-
edge, tasted oIeomargarine, said In
gals but I have stood in the pres
ence of genuine butter with awe for
it's strength and reverence for its
antiquity"
This story, from the Hiawatha
World. has been construed in num-
Der of quarters as detailing the suicide
of a mule: There was a Sunday
school picnic held some time ago out
at the old Betz farm on the road to
Fairview. There was a swing in use
that day and the rope was never taken
down, which omission proved fatal to
the life of a $3.50 mule belonging to
Mr.. Regier. The mule got it's head
and neck tangled and going round and
round frightened the rope until it was
choked to death.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-29
A FINE FALL.

There has been nothing serious to
complain of this fall in the way nature
has dealt with the farmers and,
through them, with the country.
Enough rain has fallen to keep the
pastures green and the wells and els
terms from running dry. Sunshine
and warmth have given the late crops
a fair chance to reach full maturity.
Fruit has not been materially dam
aged by frosts. Winter wheat has had
a good start. Fall work of all kinds
has gone on with little interruption by
unfavorable weather.
This good fortune is bringing a fat
year to a comfortable close. The great
basic industry of agriculture is fin
ishing the season in a way which
leaves 1912 high up among the years
best known for big crops and favor
able conditions. There is no other
factor in the general state of the coun-
try which means more to the Ameri-
can people. There is no sign of the
times which is a more trustworthy
promise of great and continued pros
Derity
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-29
says UNCLE CIV

He hath attained great wisdom who
hath much goods and is not a slave to
his servants. The captain of industry
who can gaze unflinchingly into the
NAV of an investigating committee
| stands in fear and trembles before the
terrible Tux" For what shall it pro-
fit a man that he hath gained bonds
in bundles and clips his coupons with
a ripsaw if the women of the house
hold are constantly reminding him
that Geneva waiter in a despike ed
spiketail always raises his eyes when
the head of the family calls for ham
and eggs.
One of these days there is going to
be a revolution in this country and
the streets of our cities are going to
run red with the blood of the Geneva
oligarchy. The brawny listed Ameri-
can who goes forth to get his good
hard dollars by the burning of brain
and the busting of antitrust laws is
going to sign a new declaration of in
dependence and rid the landscape of a
few SuperciliOuS gentlemen who never
tasted a square meal until they came
to this land of the brave and erst-
while home of the free to stand be-
hind chairs and tame its tanners.
Meanwhile, their necks are under
the yoke and mother and daughter sit
on either end. All this comes of the
worship of the great god Ostentation.
It's no use to have money unless one
does quite the proper thing" To pro-
pitiate this bugaboo, one must act as
if one has had money always, and to
act as if one has had money always
one must dine as the waiter sees fit.
The worst downtrOdden city in the
world is New York, and the heel of
the oppressor is the heel of the waiter.
For how are the new rich-and most
of us who are rich are new rich-to
know what to do and how to do it
without accepting the guidance of
those who have served the elite? And
WI he Of
his mentor Better an Indictment by
the federal grand jury for smuggling
than a flicker of the eyebrow Of Paul
the irreproachable, because one desires
coffee with ones salad. Paul was a
hostler in Paris before he learned of
the promised land of easy marks and
magnificent tips, but mother and the
girls don't know that, and dad, who
whipped the trade to a standstill on
homely diet, can't have his ham and
eggs.
One of these days dad is going to
get mad. When he does, he'll heave
an old-fashioned bootjack at the SNUG
image of the great god Ostentation,
turn its high priests and priesteSses,
miscalled imported buffers, maids and
walters, out to make room for less
formidable breed, put his foot through
the modern American motto, Thou
shalt not shock thy servant" and re-
store to it's ancient place of honor that
musty yarn and cardboard sentiment.
''God Bless Our Home" And there'll
be a noticeable accent on the our
Copyright 1912. by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-29

centage of reduction below the Dingley
hill is shown in the larger free list and
in the lower percentage of the tariff
collected on the total value of the
goods imported. The figures show
that under the Dingley bill, which was
in force LA months, the average per
cent of the imports that came in free
was in value 44.3 per cent of the total
importations, and that under the
Payne bill, which has peen in force
35 months, the average per cent in
value of the imports which have come
in free amounts to 51.2 per cent of
the total; that the average ad valorem
of the duties on all importations under
the - years of the Dingley bill was
45.S per cent while under the S5
months of the Payne bill this was ALP
per cent, and that the average ad
valorem of the dutiab BILE imports I'M
der the Dingley bill was 25.5 per cent,
while under the Payne bill it was 20.1
per cent. IN other words, considering
only reductions on dutiable goods, the
reduction in duties from the Dingley
bill to the Payne bill was 10 per cent
and considering both free and dutiable
it amounted to 21 per
cent"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-29
MIR. TAFT ON THE TARIFF.

81 am aware that the current be-
meath all political agitation is a voice
criticizing me because I approved the
Payne-Aldrich tariff" says President
Taft in an interview in Harper's Week
ly. and he continues: 1.-The platform
upon which I was elected president
contained a revision plank, and I
committed myself to it as intending
downward revision, as I stand thus
committed to it now. But so long as
we carry the tariff into politics, or
politics into the tariff. it cannot be
hoped to solve this great economic
question. I succeeded. so far as such
things are possible in actual practice,
in removing political influence from an
economic subject.
The statistics of the three years of
the Payne law show that there was
substantial reduction in many sched-
ules. The law provided for future
revision by giving authority to the
president to create a nonpartisan
board of experts to make a world wide
inquiry into cost of production and to
develop and systematic other tariff
data. Under the operation of the
Payne law. prosperity has been grad
ually restored since the panic of 1907.
There have been no disastrous failures
and no disastrous strikes. The per-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-29

| ing across to admire her. But as he
talked she knew she must tell him to-
night in fairness to him. She would
never be guilty of dangling-then her
eye caught the people at a table Just
behind Keith, and her face wea'
white.
What is it, dear?" whispered Keith.
She shook her head at him, and
though her lips moved, no sound car; e
from them. Her eyes were stu heio
| by Henry Morton's. He half rose IN
his seat and the two rather over
dressed girls with him asked him
shrilly if he was seeming things-al-
ready"
Keith turned his head a little, and
Henry Morton rose and came towar q
them. Tall, good-looking, careless, ne
came straight to Mavis, who seemed
not to see his outstretched hand. ana
gave him a queer little smile and
bow
"You're-looking fine. Mavis." he
said, not Familiarity, for he still had
the manner of a gentleman, but with
half-possessive tone of astonished
admiration.
Keith's eye blazed blue fire, and the
girl spoke in a little furry.
Keith" she said, this is an old
friend, Mr.. Morton. I knew hum
ages ago-at home. Henry, this IS Mr..
Keith Lowry-my fiance." The men
shook hands and then a stiff little
pause ensued, but Mavis, womeplike,
bridged it over. Il am very glad to
see you again." she said. You are
looking-well. Have you heard from
the Williamses lately? No? Keith, give
me a little more salad. Perhaps we'll
meet again since you're in town."
Somehow Henry Morton knew he was
dismissed.
Keith Lowry was very still and con-
ventional moment as he served the
salad. Then he spoke in a tone which
might have discussed the weather.
"Mavis, is that the man? Were you
saving your pride, or do you mean"
Keith she said tensely, motion
ing away the waiter with his ice water
"he never was the man! Just one
glance at him undid all the old hYpno-
tism-I-" her eyes met his, plead
ing, confessing, loving.
Beloved" he breathed the word
fervently, but in a voice so low that
of praising the Copyrighted
1912, by McClure's Newspaper Syndi-
cate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-29
ON TIE SPUR
OF The NOMENT
BY Roy b. MOULTON.
When Grandnna

When Grandma Was a Girl.
Ihey had no rats and Marcel waves
or wasplike figures then.
No high heeled shoes or patent rouge
made to deceive the men.
No purring language, mincing walk or
gay peroxide curl
No chafing dish fubdubbery when
grandma was a girl.
No bachelor maids, no culture clubs,
no time spent in the gym.
No thought of torture physical to
make them 1.-THE and slim.
No low-neck gowns to give them grip
when in the social whirl;
NO bridge whist made them nervous
wrecks when grandma was a girl.
No suffragets, no cigarettes. no
cooking NAT was vile.
No bonnets trimmed with cocoanuts
and lettuce were in style.
No brainstorm shooting by a weak and
sentimental churl.
No talk of soul affinities when grandma
was a girl.
No incompatibility of temper told in
court:
No cases of desertion and no suits for
nOnSuppOrt:
No family skeletons exposed no rec
ords to unfurl:
In fact, folks were quite sensible when
grandma was girl.
From the HickeyviIIe Clarion.
Deacon Pringle, one of the pillows
of our church, was over to Chicago
last week and was took in by a long
lost cousin who sold him a gold brick
William Tibbits, who had bought
many of them, says it must have
been some slicker who wasn't any
relation to the deacon at all. Deacon
L,
ing it to the church for twice what he
gave for it, like he did the coal stove
with the big crack in the bottom. 1t
is pretty hard to get ahead of a ded-
con or a railroad agent.
A bugologist or taxidermist or some
other scientific Teller of that sort told
Hold Peters he had found a rare old
relic on Holds farm. Hold said he
didn't know what it could be unless it
was the mortgage.
The Hotel Hickeyville now has run
ming water in every room. The roof
sprunk a leak last Thursday night.
A Teller who has got a pate de
fol grass appetite with a Goldfish in
come has one foot in the penitentiary,
the other in the pOorhousa, and his
face is turned toward the setting sun.
Elmer Jones is the most comicaI
young man in this town. He drop
ped a cat in the town pump a month
Or so ago ana now they a'A taking
Of starting mineral baths in our midst
and making us a health resort.
Uncle Ezra Harkins says he let's
his whiskers grow so as to get them
out of his system.
There amt much use bein' a nat
ural blond if you are an actress, be- |
cause nobody will believe it.
Miss Euphemia Perkins, our poetess
IF passion, is writin' play for Charles
Frohman. By jingl I wonder what |
F'rohman will say when he finds 1t |
out.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-29
GLOBE SIGHTS
BIZ THE ArcH1soN GLOBE.

Why is a bowling tourney?
Who invented the idea that horse radish
is good to eat
There is so much forensic oratory that a
good deal of it is wasted.
A long distance investment in real estate
is one way to discover the waste places.
Honestly now if you are on the losing
side aren't you against freedom of the
press?
There is a large variety of fools, but
the boy tough probably is the most dis
agreeable.
Some of those who cannot sing the old
songs should also refrain from trying the
new ones
In a little town, 1t is fairly easy for any
stranger to work himself over into a Man
of Mystery.
No man can add much lustre to his
name or fame by sitting beside great
man the lecture platform.
While the woman may not be blamed
as much the man. she has to wait a.
good deal longer for forgiveness.
Jude Johnson has resigned his job to
look at the falling leaves. Jude is so SEN
timental his family is starving to death.
A little girl just naturally knows what
is the right thing to wear. but a boy has
to learn it after he begins noticing the
girls.