davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

Mark Sheridan In the December Strand.
One often has amusing experiences.
the humor of which only strikes one
afterwards. Such a one occurred to
me a number of years ago at a very
small hall in the provinces, where the
stage accommodation was so limited
and of such primitive kind that some
of us had to use the back of the stage
as a dressing room. our ablutions after
the show being sometimes performed
In a common or garden bucket placed
on chair. One night--lt was winter.
and the audience was almost as chilly
as the weather. had finished my turn,
and. stripped to the waist, was "abiut-
ing" violently in the old tin basin,
when somebody made a mistake. and,
instead OF lowering the curtain, the
back sheet was pulled up, disclosing
me to view.
AS l had my back in that direction
did not at first realize what had
happened, and, hearing shrieks of
laughter, remarked, through the folds
of the towel in which my face was
buried: MY word, somebody's making
hit!" Getting no reply l looked up,
to discover that my erstwhile compan-
ions had vanished. and that. with drip
ping name, l was standing In full view
of the audience!
/ was pressed very much. Immediately
afterwards, to enter for the hundred
yards in the following years theatrical
sports, as 1t was thought that l might
establish a record!
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25
CONVENIENT DEAFNESS

From the Philadelphia Telegraph.
William L. Ward. republican national
committeeman for New York. is deaf. He
Is more deaf as the exigencies of po-
litical situation present themselves TO
him. He isn't so deaf when the proposi-
ton is in his favor. He reminds one OF
the story they used TO tell in Washing
ton of Representative John Ketcham OF
tho Duchess district. A constituent OF
Ketchams, on a visit to Washington. ran
short of funds.
John, lend me $40 to get home,' he de-
manded of his representative.
'Hcy?" replied Ketcham, his hand tc
his ear In the shape of trumpet.
LEND me s2o.' rejoined the constituent
you said 80 first" responded Ketcham
quick as fash.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25
RAY

Judd Morime
haIh sroadw
the stree
lay;
had her herh
to mine
She a
nd
Andshe 81
she was a by
when 81 a and
Intonny
Andtha
He
No old
light imned
And got the las o
In the o in res
& n ears,
sadde the world daughter
to scaoo
roses noda and sway all bloom
And who love In the
that she walt to
the
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25
ONLY of. f. vs.v WANTED

From EVeFybodys Magazine.
p. V. Daniel. Virginia gentleman"
was one of the general officers of the
old Richmond, Fredericksburg and Po-
tomac railroad.
Even in those days. before fe civil
war, the road was prosperous ans ~
meeting of the board of f1ttofs
some progressive introduced ssoiu-
ton TO reduce the rate for pe sseuvefs
from II to IL cents mile.
Instantly Daniel, who was ifsnan
declared the motion out of order.
"Why?' protested its patfen.
"Why2' Numbered Daniel IF you
do that you will have every ragtag and
bobtail in the state of Virginia riding
on our road. That's 'why'T
The resolution was unanimously ta-
bled
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25
ROLLING GLOBE ROUND WORLD

1Ioih tue slrdnu MdSdzlue.
George M. Schillings an American ath-
lete, is now on his way round the world
rolling globe. For wager of about
$4,000 Mr.. Schilling has undertaken the gil
gantic task of not only rolling the globe.
but living and sleeping in 1t. further
condition being that he must not earn, beg
or borrow for his subsistence, his only
source of income being from the sale of
picture postcards. He started on Febru-
airy rs. 1911, and his route is shown in
white on the globe. The globe is seven
feet In diameter, 20 feet girth. and
weighs six and half hundredweight.
Mr.. Schilling also states that, owing to
an accident. he has had temporarily to
place the globe on wheels. This is his sec
and attempt to accomplish his long jour
ney-the first time he had the misfos--
tune to lose an arm in China during the
Boxer rebellion.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Methods of snfragists

''The contrast in the manner OF work
and the ends accomplished by the Amer
lean suffragists and the English suffra-
gettes Is striking" said a politician yes
terday. 1.-THE addition of four states 70
those extending the full ballot to women
brings the number up to ten and forces
the serious consideration of all parties.
The suffragist movement in America
merits respectful consideration, and willis
! am not prepared to say with the Col
orado suffragists that women should De
represented in Wilson's cabinet they
should at least receive consideration in
the states in which they vote.
THE equal suffrage movement is no
longer one to be laughed at. And very
few now are laughing. In the parade IN
brated their victory in the recent general
election thousands upon thousands of spec
tators lined the streets In respectful 81
lence or enthusiastic applause. There was
little jeering and what there was was
done by the young 'hoodlums' who COM
mented sarcastically only npon the men
paraders.
THE American suffragists have not
made the mistake of introducing the mil
liant element into their campaign and
consequently have gained more ground IN
the past generation than the English suf-
fragettes have in century or will in a
century unless they change their tactics.
The belief that the men in England
can be coerced into granting the ballot
to women, to me, seems the height OF
folly. It Is true that conditions in Eng
land are different from those here, but
Notwithstanding the movement profits
nothing by activities of a Pankhurst. or
a Pethick Lawrence, who. by the way.
has recently reformed.
There Is one more thing. don't think
! am an inhunan man. but / do disap-
prove of the method Of the English In
handling these suffragettes who are sem
fenced to Jail for crimes ranging from in
sulting the premier to arson in trying to
burn down the residence of the homa
secretary.
When militant suffragette is COM
mitted to prison for much shorter term
than a man convicted for the same crime
would have been, she Immediately de-
NidArS Auii6Sr Stlihe-tudI rs, IefuStS
to eat anything and threatens to starve
herself to death. Forcible feeding was
tried in one instance. but was not a sue
cess, as one woman nearly died In a Dub
lin prison. ultimately those who declare
the hunger strike are released by the au-
thorities.
1T seems to me that that is not the
proper way of handling them. What
right have they to any more considera-
ton than other criminals? They are cry
ing for equality with man and go far
beyond the bounds which men set for
themselves, so why not treat them
equally? l believe with George Bernard
Shaw. who in a. recent article. declares
that If the suffragettes will not eat. let
them starve.
THE militant suffragettes received
rough reception In ireland. When John
Redmond visited Dublin an attack was
made on him and it was with difficulty
that the officers were able to rescue .hs
woman who hurled Ratchet at the home
rule leader from the enraged crowd who
Threatened to do everything to her from
IN
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

The stock market continues to mark
time pending further developments af-
fecting values" says Henry Clews in his
weekly financial review. "a week hence
Congress will open and we may then So
cure some indication of legislative ten
denotes the coming winter. OF course,
no important new legislation is antici-
pated until the next administration.
"A good deal OF preliminary work on
tariff and banking will be done in the
committee rooms this winter, which
though not utilized during the Taft ad-
ministration will be influential In shaping
tariff or financial Legislation during Mr..
Wilson's regime. Mr.. Wilson has an
nounced his intention of calling an extra
session for the purpose of shortening the
period of uncertainty. and the work done
this winter should materially aid prompt
action next spring. At the very earliest
it would seem as if six or seven months
must elapse before any new legislation
really goes into effect. During this period
it need cause no surprise II business ex-
hibits more or less hesitancy, for neither
merchants nor manufacturers can we'll
undertake important new operations ex-
tending into the future while this disturb
ing element of uncertainty remains.
consumption of merchandise will, Of
course. go on as usual; SO the retail
trades will be less likely to feel the eff
fects of hesitation than the wholesale
trades. Meanwhile both merchants and
manufacturers will carry as small stocks
as possible, and business may therefore
become of a hand-to-mouth character; a
fact of course, which will not increase
industrial activity. After this period of
hesitancy is over. and II nothing unfore-
seen develops, it is reasonable to antici-
pate renewed activity in all departments.
since our markets will be bare of goods
and high prices will tempt a rapid in
crease In production"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25
nErI,EcrIONs OF 4 BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
A lie that comes from nowhere car
go everywhere.
A mans idea of the government be-
ing all right Is II his own bank ac-
count is.
The time q girl can feel especially
romantic IL II there Is nothing to fee
romantic over.
A widow ia mighty shy to be able to
act as II she had never even spoken
TO man before.
The reason a woman never lets heI
husband know what she thinks OF hei
friends IL she let's them know what she
thinks of him.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25
street Car Extension Needed

81 wish that one or both of the street
car companies would extend line out to
the by-product plant of the Tennessee
company" said man whose business fire.
quently takes him out in that direction.
The Corey line goes within a good Is
minutes walk of the plant but If a man
is in a hurry Is minutes walk before
reaching his destination is not exactly
conducive to pleasant thoughts. There
are. in round numbers. 400 men who work
in the by-produet plant. At least 700 of
them are not residents of the immediate
section. and, therefore. have to ride the
cars TO reach their work. This num-
Der would. in a short time, pay the cost
OF extending the line for mile or so and
would earn for the street railway COM
pany the thanks of a great number of
people"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25
Spelling Of Common word.

During the past few weeks there
has been a great deal of talk about
who would be the next United States
in north Alabama" said a mem
Der Of the Chamber of Commerce who
takes an active interest in politics.
I'm connection with this subject have
had occasion to read great many let
tiers referring to the matter.
ITO me, II is little short of amazing
to see the number of people who do
not know how to spell the word mar
shall Nine out of ten men spell this
common noun with two is. For their
information should like to call atten-
ton to the fact that the only time two
is are ever used in marshal is when
It is a proper name"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

william Jennings Bryan has rented a
house in Miami, Fla, which will be his
home this winter. While living in It he
will superintend improvements to be made
on Virgin Place, a beautiful estate on
the bay that he bought.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

After one more Thanksgiving and one
more Christmas our own Mr.. Underwood
will revise the tariff SO that home con-
sumner will not have to pay two prices
where foreigner pays one.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

The Baptist version OF the Old Testa-
anent would have deprived Mark Twain of
an opportunity to weep at Adams tomb.
Fortunately II came after Twain had
visited his ancestors grave.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

As things look now, scarcely any one
will be closer to the new administration
than Senator Gore a blind man. and Sen
ator O'Gorman, a New York man.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

Down on the st. Louis levee some OF
the colored brethren are accused of sucis-
ing cider from barrels through straws.
but few could resist such temptation.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

The American consuls In India report
that elephants are becoming cheaper.
Birmingham may soon need one in its
zoo and is a bear in the market.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

iters is of course by far the greatest
The canal makes patriotic appeal to
every citizen of the United States. In
order to accommodate tourists from the
middle west a convenient short cut has
been arranged by sending special cruises
from New Orleans as well as from New
York. This does away with the long jour
ney which many people from the west
were obliged formerly to take TO New
York to connect with the Panama boats.
The cruise from New Orleans to Pan
ANA, stopping at Havana, Cuba. and
Kingston, Jamaica, may be made in two
weeks. The palatial Hamburg-American
liner Kronprinzessin Ceeilie will make two
special cruises to the Isthmus of Panama
sailing January % and February 10. the
first cruise of Is and the second of IS
days duration"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

The reactIonaries spend much of their
time in cabinet making and IN trying to
hang something on Mr.. Bryan. They are
an out OF date lot of statesmen.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

Cy sulloway of New Hampshire was
defeated for reelection, and d. r. An
thony OF Kansas is to be the tallest menu
Der of Congress- after March l.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

IT is said that Mr.. Taft has saved all
told $4,000 This. together with the prac-
tice of the law in Cincinnati. will keep
the wolf from his door.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

The state banquet at Bermuda Is some
thing Governor Wilson cannot dodge.
But he sits back and thinks while the ora
tors are Grating.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

The death OF Minnie Hauk, America 5
first Carmen. will awake memories in The
hearts of operagoers of generation ago.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

Colonel Roosevelt is now considered an
aggressive progressive, and the nearer he
gets to 1916 the more aggressive he will
become.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

-Four men who will not be in the cabi-
net--Ryan, Belmont. Parker and Murphy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

Governor Wilson has sought for a few
days the protection of the British flag.
but he VIII come back full fiedged
American.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

The old-time torchlght parade came
very near being revived and restored In
the late campaign.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

The role of gunman is losing its attrac-
tiveness in New York city. 1t will be
rounded up in the electric chair.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

No one now anticipates the formation
of union by our ex-Presidents.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

Train robberies are becoming frequent
and some think correspondence school
is turning the business to account.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

George W. Perkins is standing now by
oblivion's mournful sea. having retreated
altogether from Armageddon.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

The decision against the bath tub trust
renders tho American Saturday night
doubly secure.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

A White House bridegroom certainly
seems TO loom up in the new admins
tration.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

Mrs. Andrew Carnegie declares that
she is no zuffragette. She is "well-flxed."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

Turkeys squatter rights in Europe have
nearly run their course.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

Scrank rhymes with crank, thus evinc-
ing the eternal fitness of men and
things.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

Mrs. Hetty Green is the richest woman
in America, both in dollars and shrewd
advice
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

General Sayoff seems to be a Napoleon,
Hannibal and Theodore Roosevelt rolled
into one.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

WHY this 1t IN, when men are ruPd
~ women. King hichara III
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

z. E. Morgan and W. @. Wharton are
the only authorized travelling represent
atives of The Age-Herald in its circu-
lation department
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

TELEPHONES
Bell (private exchange connecting al
iepartments), No. 4evo.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

No communication Will be publlsned
without it's authors name. Rejected
manuscript wall not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-25

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala,
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-12-05
MAYOR OF BUTTE
ON SOCIALISTS
Tells Comrades to Quit Ex-
polling Hot Air and Study
the Conditions

Lewis ]. Duncan, Socialist mayor
of Butte, told some fifteen hundred
of his comrades at meeting in Sc
attic last Sunday night to quit stand
ing around on street corners wasting
energy expelling a lot of useless hot
air, and spend a little time in intel
ligent study in order to find out
what they were kicking about.
'"You Socialists say you are OPP
pressed" he said, "and when they
ask you who you are oppressed by
you say: the system When they
ask you what the system is and how
at is depressing you, you're up in the
.atr. You don't know what you're
talking about, and won't take the
trouble to learn.
"The thing the Socialist party
needs more than votes is the educa-
1ion of its own members. You talk
about your gains in the last cleo.
tion. That amounts to less than moth.
ang unless the gain is made up Of
Intelligent, thinking people. You say
you ought to be getting more money
Tor what you do. Do you know how
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-12-05
much more you should receive or

much more you should receive or
why?
Act Like Fools.
"You think there is something the
matter with you but don't know what
it is nor why and won't take the
trouble to educate yourselves by
close study and find out. There are
times when the working class makes
me sick. We all act like parcel of
fools"
Speaking of the personal revile-
ment of wealthy men by the Social
lists, Mr.. Duncan said: II deplore
the personal abuse of capitalists by
members of our party. If any one of
you had a chance you would do ex-
astly the same thing you revile them
for doing"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-12-05
Whyf

Whyf
The sunshine smiles and dies away.
The planets circle through the sky.
zach hour fades into yesterday.
And we can only murmur. "WhyT
Washington Star.
The Ice man goes and waves farewell.
And comes the coal man by and by,
The schoolboy needs the ringing bell.
And we can only murmur. "WhyT
denver Republican.
Ere long the Christmas gifts we'll sea.
And then we'll have to buy and buy.
We will go broke as broke can be.
And We can only murmur. "Whyr'
Los Angeles Express.
The cricket's melodies have ceased,
The sweet wild flowers come to die.
The plumber hungers for the feast.
And we can only murmur. "Whyr'
ST. Louis Post Dispatch.
The styles have changed-she tells M
that
For styles are only born to die:
She's got TO have another hat.
And we can only murmur, "Whyr
Detroit Free PresA
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-12-05
PROFITABLE DAILY rITnINa.
~paiIy Heaventy Mamma"

O6Uy bJO6V9Uty WaUUos
This little book is having the largest
circulation Of any of its kind and Is
conceded by Christians everywhere to
be the most helpful.
If Christians allow the rush and
crush Of selfish ambition to deprive
them of their daily portion Of heaven
~ food. they must not be surprised II
they grow spiritually leaner day by
day. and II the peace Of God gives
place in their hearts to the discomfort
which Is growing in the world. not
withdrawing the multiplication Of our
comforts and privileges
Daily He0renlv Mama contains COL
lection Of Scripture texts with appro-
pirate quotations for every day in the
year. Surely the little 1.-THE Of time
daily spent in partaking Of its morsels
Of heavenly counsel cannot fall to
profit all who partake. 1t is published
to do good-not for profit.
Your Friends Birth Dates.
An autograph and birthday record
feature in this book is u great convent
ence. Opposite each day Of the year
are blank lines upon which you can
secure the autographs Of your friends
and he reminded Of their birthdays as
they occur. This makes the book more
valuable yearly. In ten years you
would not sell it for ten dollars.
Besides 1t has place for Birth Rec.
0rds. Marriage Records and Death Rec.
Ords Also 1t has table showing the
day Of the week of any date for one
hundred and fifty years
Printed on bond writing piper. blue
cloth. handsome. Price. 81 cents post.
paid: imitation alligator skin. gold
edges. 81 90 postpaid. Order now. Bi'
BILE and Tract Society. II Hicks Street,
Brooklyn, N. Y.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-12-05
Be an Early
Bird

You know what the early bird gets-and
Il 10 not . cold either-but did you ever
think what the late bird getsr Well. Il 10
this way: The early btrd gets the worm:
the late bird geto the h0te.
II II even 20 with the early and late
Christina shoppers. The early Christmas
shopper gets the choice goods: the late
Chrtstmas shopper COTS LETT The lats
G. g. also gets stepped on and mobbsd-
The early Chrtstmas shopper gets the
blessings OF the clerks and the approval
Of . good conscience.
The late Z. 4 gets the ieavtngs and
crouch. .s
II u the late Christmas shopper that
complains about thu way the holiday has
dsgenersted. The early one II 20 content
Cd and happy over having the shoppins
completed that he or she u prepared to
praise and enjoy Christmas for what It To-
There are plenty OF worms for the early
bird and plenty Of bargains Tor the early
shopper. IN.
Therefore
GO TO TT and
DO IT TODAY.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-12-05
PUBLISHERS NOTICE

Subscribers served BY city caEriers
tailiag TO receive the Herald on Mon
day and Thursday By 8 o'clock p. N
wi0 confer . favor on the publishss
By calling the City Messenger Co..
Phone 6S3l. who viii deliver . COPY
tnmediately. q
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-12-05
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE CHURCH.

First street. near Broadway. Sur
day school 10 O'Clock, church se'
viHe II O'Clock. Wednesday ever
Ing service. O'Clock. Readiu.
room No. 23l Finch building. Dye,
daily from 1880 until s O'Clock. excep'
ing Sundays Il