davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
REFLECTIONS or \ BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 A cross eyed man can brag that he isn't bowlegged
 Debtor and creditor never ngure interest the same way.
 It's so natural for man to smile over great happiness that a woman weeps over it.
 You can tell when a girl has new clothes by the way she acts as if nobody else had.
 It. may be the duty of the strong to carry the weak. but their backs aren't bread enough for all that want to get on.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
 LIFE
A CLOSE SHAVE.

T presume you have had a great mar narrow escapes" said friend to the r formed burglar.
 "Oh. yes. I once had to hide myse under a bed. I later learned 1t was 2 old's maids bed. She found me there" !"
 Did you get away?"
 Yes, I escaped, but I was so shai after my experience that it was moni or two before my nerves were stead enough for me to do any second-stol work" z4a
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
IT NEVER FAILED.

The young man who reads the pape had choice lower berth in the Pullma He had noticed that day the story the young man who had given up his los CT berth to lady several years befor and was remembered in her will to U extent of $9S.000
 As he entered the car he heard a won an expostulating with the conducto There was no berth for her. As sf passed the young man she dropped bar book. The young man picked it up ar quite by accident noticed that it shove a red ink balance of s50,000
 The young man gave the lady the bar book and his berth in the same sentenc A little later the woman glanced at u book and smiled.
 "It never fails to work she murmure Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 HARD WORK.
 Jasper says he hates moving pictures "I wonder why?''
 He's too fat to climb up on ste ladder PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
SELF EVIDENT

From the Manhattan Mercury.
 A tramp applied to a Manhattan wom- an the other day for something to eat. Poor man." she said. have you wife or family?Y
 Madam" he indignantly replied. do you suppose that I would depend upon total strangers for something to eat if l had a wife?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

election, and so far as the November election is concerned so is MT. Taft. Ohio has, in other words, rejected one favorite son and divided her vote as to another in the two big parties of the country. She has seemingly become tired of being the mother of Presi- dents.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

The coming of a woman boss in the six states in which women vote is constantly expected, although no woman will be apt to permit another woman to tell her how to yote
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
HIS MIsTAKE
From the

From the Louisville Herald.
 The proprietor of the Coke and Cobble Coal company knew how to look after the pence.
 Hold on there. Jim." he shouted an- grily to an employe who was driving out of the yard. that coal looks trife large for 2 ton"
 Its two tons. boss shouted Jim.
 "Oh, right you are, Jim! Go ahead!"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

The jet black evening shirt has been warmly received in London, especially by the walters who stuff menu cards into their low cut waistcoats after taking the order.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

life But the average woman is hal worker. good mother, and a consciei tious housekeeper. She has little tin to study that outside world of whic to her the biggest figures must always a little shadowy and the greatest fore a little vague. And ever she lives in u benumbing Influence of that Moloch { the home-economy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

Not even the oldest citizen can recall a presidential year in which the political cauldron boiled so vigorously as now. The lican party has, certainly made new | high record
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
PROBABLY.

"A captious person says there is no beauty in skyscrapers.''
 "Pshaw. I dare say he wouldn't know pretty stenographer if he'd see one...
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

l One hundred thousand caddies are kept ligious convention. But there is no guar
 antee that they would go to Sunday school
 if there were no golf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

This will be Alabama's s banner coal year. The output will run a million tons or more beyond any previous years produc- ton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

A thousand new members added to the Birmingham Chamber of Commerce pres ent large membership will make it the strongest civic body in the south.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
PoETIzING.

When poets sing of birds and blooms
 And say they hear the river call. They prob'bly toll in stuffy rooms
 And never see such things at all.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
Improvement. in Architecture

No city has more beautiful resi- denoe sections than Birmingham-few cities can be compared with 1t in this respect" said travelled man.
 Five or six years ago Highland ave-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

Nearly 100000 bags of coffee are specu- latively stored up in New York, and Uncle sam proposes to uncover the entire trans action.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

The newly arrived Chinese baseball players can talk as much as they will to the umpire and he will not need them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
srILI.NEss AIMosr OPPRESSIVE.

Mrs Tomwit is living very quietly since her husband died"
 Well, most women live quietly after their husbands die They do for while, at any rate.''
 But Mrs. Tomwit's case is exceptional. When the late Mir. Tomwit blew his nose he could be heard a block away"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

pr. Wiley and his baby displace a lot of campaign speeches to the great relief of a suffering public
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

Not only black dress shirts. but black straw hats, are to be worn this summer by the ultra fashionable.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

MT. LaFolette need not wait for the rest of the primaries. He should return to bis senatorial duties at once.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

The Alabama farmers were suffering from too much rain a month ago. but now they are in need of showers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
HIGH TENsroN.l

'9The whiffelhys seem to be labori under a great nervous strain. wond what's the matter?' They have a daughter who is goi. to graduate in June.''
 LITE.
 Just what is life
 We do not know.
 To some it means
 How much they owe-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

The Indian is coming along. He Is now the most accomplished tax dodger in Ok lahoma.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

Candidate LaFollette fiaunts a pompa- dour, and so does Candidate Seidel of the socialist ticket
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

The strike of the Detroit Tigers was set tied just in time to let the country rivet it's eyes on Ohio.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
WILL STICK TO MIR. uNDERwooD

The steel trade continues active in spite of political uncertainty.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

Mir Roosevelt no doubt regards the tariff as "tomfool proposition" for he never mentions it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

The powder trust has agreed to burst itself into pieces without the aid of a federal fuse.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

The man who bolted an entire isthmus may bolt mere home convention.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

ohio will now proceed to become as nor nal as circumstances permit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

The next state oracle to speak will be New Jersey. She votes on May S.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

No matter how great the clamor be in ohio. Nick Longworth's silence is almost startling.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
A HAPPY CREW.

The gods upon Olympus
 Were always feeling prime And never knew the sadness Of working overtime.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

The Detroit Tigers discovered that they could call strike as well as the umpire.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

The team with the best wind is the one that will be at the head of the procession next fall.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

Milwaukee is inviting flareback when it advances the price of beer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
IT.s THE WEATHER.

Life is reall Life is earnest!'
 That is what the poet says; somehow. we can not so view 1t,
 In these glad, go-fishing days. Seems to u6 more like a frolic.
 Day dreams sweet and visions rare. When tho sunshine scatters troubles And VIZ say goodbye to care.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
SURE

Howe'er the wind of fortune blows,
 Don't let such trifies furry you; The less you think about your woes,
 The less, old chap they'll worry you.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23

The school of experience offers no free scholarships.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
A LOVERS RUsE.

A LOVERS RUsE. He sighed for a lock of the landlady' s hair, His love he was fearful to utter. But love finds way, and by using due care He saved lock out of the butter.
 Louisville Courier-Journal. He sighed for a lock of the landlady's hair. But still hesitated to press her; So bribed a housemaid, who was dusting in there, To steal whole switch from her dresser.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-23
ALARMED.

ALARMED. Can you paint my wife's picture?" T can make a speaking likeness" For heavens sake, don't do it.'
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1912-03-21

Mrs. E. NJ. Morrow returned Mon
day to her home in Belgrade. after a
visit in the family of D. M. Bean.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harold Phillips are to
be congratulated over the recent ar
rival of a 9-pound son in their home.
Mrs. Walter Cushing and Raymond
Cushing have returned to their home
in Augusta, after visit in the fam
lily of Lewis Russell.
George A. Moore of Gardiner, has
accepted a position with the Skewhe-
gan Trust Co. as assistant cashier.
He went to Waterville, Saturday, for
brief visit
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1912-03-21

Mr.. and Mrs. c. Davis Miller have
gone to Boston for a months sojourn
A liquor case before Judge Fred +.
Lawrence last Friday was that OF
Alec Crawfos1 of Jackman on a
search and seizure process. He was
represented by E. F. Merrill. ESQ.,,
and plead not guilty. On hearing,
however, he was found guilty and in
view of prior conviction at the Sept
ember term of the Supreme Court he
was fined $500 and costs and so days
in Jail He appealed and furnished
sureties for the sum of 5000. Evil
dence showed that Al half-pints OF
liquor were found on the premises.
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1912-03-21
Il. M. s." Butter

CHARLES W. DAY, The Grocer
Is gratified to state. that you can find this
pleasing brand at his Store again. For some
weeks 1t has been sold only at the Corpora
tive Store. 3wl1t
The Washington times., 1912-03-17
John Crosby Will
Speak at Conference

The faculty. alumni, and students
of Georgetown University are today
much elated over the news that John
Crosby, manager of last years baseball
team at the Hilltop, and a member Of
the crew which last represented the
Blue and Gray. will participate in the
peace conference which will proba bly,
be held in Chicago some time in April.
Crosby won first place in the inter-
collegiate peace oratorical contest which
took place In Baltimore on February
l6, and by this virtue he becomes the
representative of Maryland and the
District of Columbia at the coming con-
ference.
1t is thought by his closest friends
and associates that he stands we'll to
take the highest honors in the peace
conference, as he has oratoTical power
which has attracted many notable audi"
enceS.
The Washington times., 1912-03-17
EdmOnSton to Coach
Maryland Aggies

The Maryland Agricultural College
athletic executive board has chosen
Sam Edmonston. who is well known
among baseball men of washington,
to coach the College Park nine this
season.
The problem of selecting a tutor for
the diamond candidates this year en-
crossed the attention of the athletic
director of the college for some time
past, but it was not until yesterday
that the matter was finally decided.
Edmonston is we'll known around
Washington, That he has been a ball
player of no mean ability is certain
from the fact that he has been a mem
ber of teams which have done excep-
tionally well. While his big league ex-
perience Is confined to a part of a sea-
son with the local American League
club, he has done some good work with
several minor league organizations.
Besides having been a performer of
ability Edmonston has held positions
where it has been necessary for him to
show executive ability. He managed
the Raleigh team in the Carolina AS
sociation; he coached the Denson Uni
Yersity squad, and also tutored the
Technical High aggregation so well
that it won the championship.
Edmonston Is also well known
time been a member of the Baltimore
nine when 1t was in the Eastern
League, and having played on several
Independent teams.
The Washington times., 1912-03-17
Cathedral School
Has Good Schedule

Most of the high and preparatory
schools in this section are included in
the baseball schedule of Cathedral
School Most of the games will be
contested on the Wisconsin Avenue
grounds. However. the Cathedral nine
will make two short trips.
The majority of last years nine have
returned for the diamond and pros
poets for a successful season are good
Former Captain Crane and Gus"
Todd will be missed, but the prospects
for another good season are good. Cap
tain Small and Beggs, of last years
pitching STAFF, are both available, and
Coach Green has several others who
look very promising. Rust will do most
of the receiving, and Cleborne and Git
tings will help him. Both the inf1eld
and outtield have plenty of material to
be chosen from. The schedule, all
follows:
March q, Friends School, at Tenley-
town; 30, Eastern High.
April l, Western High; s, Business
High; u, Rutgers Preparatory School !;
Is, Army and Navy Preps at Army and
Navy; II. Western High; 30, Boys Latin
of Baltimore; %, Friends School; "a,
Central High y, Episcopal High; %,
Rockville Academy.
May /, Technical High 4, Woodberry
Forest School; II, Boys Latin School, at
Baltimore; IS, Jefferson School, at Char
lottesville; 20, Army and Navy Props
%, Alexandria Baseball Club; %, Chest
nut Hill Academy; 20, Technical High.
The Washington times., 1912-03-17

second, causing the collegian to hurI to
center field. Schaefer scored while NC
Mories was chasing the pill and brought
un at the plate with a graceful bow to
the grandstand.
Moeler whlffed, but Flynn waited and
walked. Then came the mighty biffer,
Mild Bllr' Cunningham. He carefully
selected a high enc and when it dropped
BIZ was roosting on the red light cor
ner. 1t was a truly Titanic drive. Not
to be outdorfe by the other hitsmiths,
Mcbride neatly .poled double to left
field along the line and sent Cunning
ham across for the third run of that
frame.
Just to make things interesting. the
Nationals dragged down three more
Douglass misplay and streaked it
around the paths and over the platter
when Joe Boehling hit ner in the eye
for two sacks to the middle garden. a
bay peg from Finlay to catch him nap
ping let Boehling reach third to score
on Milan's sacrifice sailer to Fitchett.
But there was yet another to come in,
and so Dutch" Schaefer, after care
he wanted the ball, bingled to right and
promptly puroined second. Finlay' G
throw to the bag was execrable, rolling
to center. while Schaerer went on to
third. Moeller struck in his oar with
one of his neat doubles to left, and
SChaefer had tailed with the concluding
run Of the skirmish.
Looked Dangerous.
Virginia looked dangerous in the third,
and might have done something but for
McGuire's ignorance of the remarkable
wing possessed by G. Ermlnie Schaefer.
MCGUIRE singled with one gone, and saw
Grant fan. Finlay hit a waste ball to
right for a single. and foolishly Nc
Gulre streaked it past second and away
to third. Then came the amazing throw
of the Dutchman, Foster getting the
ball on a perfect bounce to make the
out. And c. Erminie laughed a loud,
loud laugh, showing his mighty right
arm TO the assembled populace.
Jerry Akers yielded a couple of hits
in the fifth, bat famed two men and
covered first with surprising agility on
the third man, thus spelling the col
legians' chances. Not till the next In
ming did the one lone run cross the pan
for Rigler's recruits.
Foster wasn't prepared for tlnldy
neat bunt, and 1t went Tor a hit. Nc
Mories bunt was a pretty sacrlflce,
hit one on the handle to right field for
a bingle, Finlay legged 1t over the disil
amid the cheers of the students and Cy
Rigler Akers had no trouble disposing
of the next two.
Joe Boehling was rather nervous when
he took up the mound task in the sew
enth, and had the pleasure, s well as
the risk, of throwing out man at the
plate himself. He opened by walking
Lille and Fitchett, followed with safe
slam to center. While Foster was toss
ing out Mcclure. both runners ad-
vanced. Goodhue hit a hard one back
at Boehling, who got Lille at the plate.
After that the young Richmond sand
IOtter DitChed excellent ball and ha-
died himself like a veteran.
The Washington times., 1912-03-17
Washington Fencers
Win From Baltimore

Fcnccrs Of Prof DalIieulats school
scored their initial victory over the Bal
timore wielders of the fols by six
matches to three. Three men from
each city participated IN the matches,
which resulted rs follows:
FIRST round-Dr. SChlinlsmann defeat.
ed Cunningham, breckenridge defeated
Seal orough, and SoliIlberg defeated
front.
Second round-SolillberG defeated Scar
borough. Breckenridge defeated Schnls-
mann, and front defeated Cunningham
Third round-Schlinlsmann defeated
Solillberg, Cunningham defeated Scar
borough, and breckenridge defeated
front.
final score-Washington 6; Raliti-
more. g.
Judges-M essrs Bailey and Darrioular.
instructors of the Washington on and Bal
timore clubs respectively, and Mr.. War
den, of baltimore, and Mr.. MacNeil, Of
Washington.
The Washington times., 1912-03-17
By SENATOR"

Ing the ball hard to all corners. When
he Is hitting the ball, Cunningham Is
one of the most dangerous men on the
team in pinch, for he hits the pill Il
mile.
TE2 Nationals batting order is pretty
sweet, as 1t is now. Milan gets many
a walk, as does Schaef who follows
him. Dan Moeiler Is a good. timely
hitter and as a cleanup man, Jack
Flynn's reputation has travelled ahead
of him After Flynn comes Bill Gun
ntngh9m. whose awful clouts in 1910
It's some sweet batting order.
Al SCheer Is a close approach to Kid
Elberfeld in size, but is not OF the same
type of player. The youngstown midget
had good record last year and should
become a good man with experience.
He is a mere youth now.
Red Walker. the. Spartansburg
terror, Is working hard to have a look
in for one of those garden jobs. It's
early. you know" says Red" quietly,
'and the season is yet to begin. You
never can tell what's going to happen
berth. after all. I'm going to stay with
them, anyway"
When Jerry Akers. the Dubuque
demon" rounds into form, the Nationals
are going to see some twirler In action.
With a sixth place club last season
Akers won nineteen and lost twelve
games. He walked ffty-one men. and
had but one wild pitch in $50 innings,
showing his control to be worth watch
Ing. He Is working steadily now to
reduce his weight.
Paul Musser is sporting an old gray
sweater that resembles Chinese
laundrymans shirt in it's style. 1t
hangs loosely from his shoulders and
flaps about wildly with every motion OF
the wearer. But Musser continues to
The Washington times., 1912-03-17

Cotton" johnson, the young ANA
teur pitcher from Nandalia, Ill. Is
getting few laudatory press notices,
hut he is getting plenty of work. Mali
ager Griffith evidently considers the
lad worth watching for he sends him
to the mound at every opportunity 10
twirl to the batters.
"Husk' Cashion and Walter johnson
are taking readily to the instructions
of Manager Griffith to experiment with
the slow ball. 1t is something after
the order of Eddie Cicotte's "knuckle
ball." only it Is slow. When these
two giants master this delivery, they
should be almost inhuman on the hill.
Chester Spencer says little but saws
wood all the time. Though generally
believed to be a weak hitter, he is do
Ing as we'll as the rest in practice, get
ting in his solid raps every now and
then in businesslike style. AS a fielder,
he Is a beauty, working around the bag
with far more grace than John Somcr-
lot had, and John was some pretty
fielder, too.
Eddie Gagnier, the recruit from Lin
coin, Neb. is one of the most peppery
players in the Nationals squad. Will
llams. Ainsmith. Ray Morgan, Carl
to keep things moving from the minute
they appear until the last one leaves
the field.
"Zeb" Milan, the Tennessee flyer.
should have a good season. lie has a
little weight to drop in the warm
weather but Is as fast as ever in the
field and on the bases. Il feel I'm gO-
Ing to hit this year." says "Zeb," and
that'll suit me-"
Mild Bill" Cunningham is displayine
good batting form these days lie has
changed his style at the plate, under
Manager Grifilth's advice. and is belt
The Washington times., 1912-03-17
Friends School Events
Prove Interesting

Much good sport was seen at the in
dor meet of Friends School, held at
that institution last night William
Harrison wan the silver medal in the
intermediate class, and Smith won the
bronze medal. Marshall Low and James
Osgood tied for honors in the senior
events, as did Dudley Robinette and
Mercer Springg in the junior games.
Summaries:
Event No. 1-Intermediate high jump
Won by Harrison; second, Brown; third.
Cushman. Height, feet 614 inches.
Event No. 2-Intermediate broad
jump-Won by Harrison; second, NJ.
Smith; third, ]. Smith. Distance, 7 feet
II inches.
Event No. 3-Intermediate bar snap
Won by NJ. Smith; second, H. King;
third, B. Cushman. Distance, feet 4
inches.
Event No. 4-Intermediate bar vault
Won by w. Harrison; second, NJ. Smith:
third, B. Brown. Height, feet 4
inches.
Event No. 6-Junior high jump-Won
by D. Robinette:- second, M, sprigg;
third, d. Gates. Height, feet.
by M. Sprigg; second D. Robinette;
third. D. Gates. Distance, feet 7
inches.
Event No. 7-Junior bar snap-Won by
Miller tie for seG09dt 9eat & g Ss5es ssSns and
Event No. S-Senior high tump--Won
by NJ Low; second, ]. Osgood; third, c.
Hartung. Height, 5 feet IA inches.
Event No. 9-Senior broad jump-Won
by M Low; second, J. Osgood; third,
c. Hartung. Distance, 10 feet 8 inches.
Event No. 1O-Senior bar vault-Won
by J. Osgood; second, e: Smith; third,
Nj. Low. Height, feet II inches.
]. ST. G. Brookes, jr., E. r. B. Willis, A.
King. r. B. Platt, James W. Roberts. G..
H.! Sensner. Floor manasers-Miss Sue
Ann Wilson, DR.. w. r. Jobson. An
nouncer and scorer-William Kenly.