davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
By FRED c. KELLY.

The gasoline ran out. and Representa-
tives Sweet of Michigan and Redheld
of New York found themselves in a
big drab. Unconditional auto that wouldn't
move from a point seven miles from
Grand Rapids, Mich, the hotbed Of mis-
sion furniture. where they were to speak
the next day.
1t was already past midnight They
walked half a mile 10 the nearest farm
house, hoping to buy an armful % gasO-
line. large. sorrel, pearly-tOOthed,
pompous dog ran out and barked bOis-
terOusly. as il bent on mischief. Sweet
stood behind a tree and talked 10 the
dog. at first banteringly and then per-
sudsivCly He used whole weeks
supply of elOquence just in a few mo-
mcnts and it awaited not at all.
Redfield remained a rod or two farther
away and said nothing. He knows more
things about the tariff than anybody.
perhaps, but when II comes to dogs. that
is something else again. Besides 1t was
Sweets affair. he thought. and he didn't
like 10 interrupt.
Sweet noticed Redfeld's silence and
asked. almost petulantly:
why don't YOU help me make UP
with this dog?'
Now. one does not like 10 be asked
a sharp question in a veNed tone in the
and il was all Redheld could do to re-
tain his composure. as he replied:
THE dog seemed to have the floor
and I didn't suppose he would yield. not
even to NE"
Then the two Congresmen took up the
trUdge to the next house, a mile farther
on
Representative Mckinley OF Illinois.
the well-known lame duck, is a cute lit
tie man with only an average appetite.
He Is also absentminded on occasion. One
noon recently he went into the restaurant
at the White House end Of the Capitol and
ate a rather hearty meal. 1t was not an
elaborate meal compared 10 the amount
OF rations that Ollie James. for example.
might consume. but II was all Mckinley
cared for. And here was the tragedy:
Just as he had finished he remembered
that he was to be a guest at a luncheon
party at an uptown hotel He had bare
" time to keep that engagement It was
a struggle eating his way through this
second luncheon for pOliteness sake. but
he got through it, though feeling like =
stuffed owl.
Well" says he to himself, tn at least
not eat again for a day or So But he
hadn't any more than thought that til
he remembered a dinner engagement. 1t
was a course dinner and each course
looked as big &c Mckinley as a bale of
excelsior.
All he ate the next day was part of an
olive.
Congressman Edward W. Townsend sat
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
STATESMEN-REAL AND NEAR
BY FRED c. KELLY

at a table in the Lambs Club, New York.
the other day discussing politics and socI-
olOgy with George AIDE, Peter Dunno and
Henry Blossom. Each member Of the
quartet was trying 10 be more of high
brow than the others and rounded out his
sentences with extreme care, as they
passed from one grave topic 10 another.
While they were sitting there, Henry
Dixey, the actor. walked by, and was in
pressed with the possibilities in the con-
versational fOursOme. You see, Town
send Is the man who wrote Chimmie Fad
den. AIDE and Dooley have each done a
few things to the English tongue. and
Blossoms first bid for fame was by means
of race track slang.
What dire things must be happening
TO the English language now murmured
DiXey more in sadness than dsrision.
Which shows how easily one may do
others an injustice The four had talked
more scholarly talk than could have
passed a given point in an hour.
Richmond Pearson Hobson. the MerrI-
mac hero. who is now endeavoring to
frame things up to be a Senator from
Alabama, delivered an address IN Bos-
ton recently. When he got through.
several members OF the audience came
up TO shake hands with him. One man.
who was extremely anxious 10 make a
hit with Hobson. said.
Alabama is mighty lucky to have two
national characters like you and Booker
Washington
HobsOn SAYS that is the meanest thing
that was ever said to him with the eN-
ception Of the time he lay III from ty-
phoid fever in a New York hospital
The doctor came in one day and asked
how he was feeling.
''Oh, I'm getting stronger. all right
| said HObson, but I don't seem equal
to much mental eNertion yet. tried
to write some letters n while ago and
| it gave me brain flag"
Yes remarked the doctor. preoc-
| Cupiedly, with no thought OF cracking
joke. the fever is likely 10 attack
the weakest part"
William Jennings Bryan admits 10
great timidity about fire. II is the one
| thing that he fears as he goes through
\ life. In strange hotels he rarely goes
TO bed without first finding out where
the fire escapes are. and even then
| sometimes he lies in bed feeling uneasy
| His new winter home in Florida is
absolutely freproof and he is thinking
of having his place at Lincoln rebuilt
| to insure him against being awakened
some night by the CraCkle Of flames all
! about his bed.
The only thing that Bryan cares less
| about than fire is the memory of Mark
| Hanna.
! Copyright. 49,, by Fred { Kelly. All nights re-
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25

out of office, or that public welfare
and good government are worthier OBJ
jects of endeavor than supplying them
with places.
The original idea of the trainers of
this government was that fitness and
merit should be the basis of public
employment, and that the administra-
tive officers of the government should
hold Office during good behavior. This
rule prevailed some forty years, and
President Madison held that the wan
ton removal of a meritorious officer
was an improbable offense. The spoils
system was of later growth. More
hurtful even than the frequent change
OF higher administrative officers was
the sweeping removal of clerks and
subordinates which later came to be
the practice, and which the enemies of
civil service reform would restore, even
at this day.
Early statesmen arc on record as
condemning this system which finally
became so injurious TO good govern
ment and so threatening to the gov
ernment itself as to cause "a revival
OF the early sentiment i'll favor of
more efficient government The peo-
pie grew tired O; public servants who
were appointed merely as followers of
certain politicians and who recognized
higher obligation to party leaders
than to public duty or public welfare
The revival of an old reform senti-
ment finally resulted in the passage,
in 1885. of national civil service
law, which has worked fairly to all
parties and benehcially to the people
1t is TO be hoped that the next Presi-
dent will see the wisdom and neces-
sity of maintaining and extending it
regardless of the clamor of job-hunters
and party-workers
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
CHRISTMAS DAY
In VIRGINIA TOWN
Observance Of Day in Alexandra to
Be GeneraI--News Notes Of
the Town.

Alexandria, Va, Dec. 2.-The' observ-
ance OF Christmas will be general here.
Church services. family reunions, and
gift-giving win be in order. Many for
mer residents of the city are here 70
i spend the Christmas holidays.
Elaborate musical programmes have
been planned for the churches. The
poor people of the city We're remembered
to-day by the various organizations
which make il a rule to dispense char
ity to the worthy INDECENT on Christmas
Day. O.. 80
Alexandria Lodge of Elks. distributed
more than 100 baskets filled with season
able provisions TO the poor of the city.
At the various institutions Tomorrow
special Christmas dinners will be pro.
vided for the inmates OF these places
City Sergt. Cox has arranged for a tur-
key dinner for the prisoners at the City
Jail. Supt. Joshua Sherwood Will furnish
the inmates of the City Almshouse with
big Christmas dinner.
The little tots at the Children's Home
will be given a Christmas dinner, and
they will also have a tree filed with
gifts. which will afterward be distributed
among them.
Elaborate musical programmes will bC
given at the services at the different
churches tomorrow. and In most in.
stances the music will be furnished by
augmented choiTs. At st. Mary's Catholic
Church masses will be celebrated at 5
6, and 10 O'Clock, the latter being the last
mass, and will be followed by benedic-
ton of the Blessed Sacrament.
Services at Christ and st. Paul's
Episcopal Churches will be held at II
O'Clock. At Grace Episcopal Church there
will be two services Christmas morning
~ III ~ -. . I,
other at 1879 o'clock. At all Of the
churches the services will be conducted
by the resident clergy and sermons ap'
propriatc to Christmastidc will be de-
livered by the pastors.
The collection which will be taken UT
at ST. Mary's will be for the benefit OF
the orphans of the diocese of Richmond
Prayer meeting services will be held
at 6 o'clock tomorrow morning at the
Methodist Protestant Church.
Christmas Sunday School celebrations
were held this afternoon by Christ and
St Pauls Episcopal Sunday schools
Elaborate program mines were given al
both. Following the exercises candy and
nuts were distributed to the scholars.
The Sunday school of the Methodist
Protestant Church will hold a Christmas
cantata Friday night next at o'clock
Forty scholars of the school will take
part. The cantata is entitled, Santa
Claus Double
4 musical and literary programme will
be given Thursday evening next at
o'clock at the parish hall of Christ Epis-
Copal Church. at which time Henry Van
Dykes lecture entitled. The Othcrwis'
Man" which will be fully illustrated. and
may be delivered by Rev. William j
Morton. rector of the church.
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
San Gimignano and Its Treasure,

Christopher ST. John in the Catholic World
We miss the true character and mean
ing Of San Gimignano's treasures il we
take them only for treasures of art.
Here are also the greater treasures of
faith and humility. II is impossible to
misunderstood the attitude of the paint
ers who enriched this little town. The
preamble to the Statutes of the Siena
Corporation of Painters issued in 1855
says that our mission by the grace of
God is to manifest to the ignorant and
unlettered the marvellous things that can
be done by virtue and in the strength of
holy faith Humility is as difficult a
virtue to artists as to poets, but in the
lives of the painters of the thirteenth,
fourteenth and fifteenth centuries we
rarely encounter pride. Santi di Pietro,
in the heyday Of his powers, assisted an
inferior artist, Vecchietta, in an Assump-
ton piece for two shillings day. And
one is sure that his epitaph, Pictor fam
osus ct homo totus deditus Dec, was a
true summary of his life. These artists
were nourished on the Liturgy and on
Dante. They had confidence in the help
of God and of the Mother of God, in
whose glory they did their work. DOM
inc dilexi decorem domus tuae ct Iocum
habitationis gloriae tuae was their mot
TO, rather than art for arts sake. -
When Brunelleschi told Donatello that
a peasant put upon a cross was not a
crucifiN, he expressed an undying truth
And it is by the light of that truth, /
think. that We are able TO see what the
treasure Of San Gimignano really IS.
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
Sir Isaac Newton
~ GEORGE FITCH.
Author OF sAt Good ola sfwash."

Sir Isaac Newton was one of the
greatest Christmas gifts that has been
made to man in recent centuries. He
was born in England December Is,
1912, and while no one but his parents
bothered to give thanks for the event
at that time, the world has liked Christ
mas a little better ever since for Ike's
sake.
Newton was a bright boy with good
financial backing. and went through
the University Of Cambridge, which
was quite a job at that time. He
didn't make a Greek letter society or
the football team, nor did he invent
a new college yell or become usher
OF his class on commencement day.
But in a paInstaking way he .gobbled
up all the knowledge on mathematics
which had ever been published. and
when he had finished he still had a vast
unsatisfied appetite.
When Newton was twenty-five he
left the university with a head bulg-
ing with figures, and securing an old
secondhand telescope began TO survey
and plat the heavens and investigate
the character and habits Of the planets.
One night while wandering somewhere
between Mars and the dog star he dis
covered the laws OF gravitation. which
had hitherto been overlooked by the
scientists Of the world
Previous to this men had been able
TO weigh turnips. hogs. and elephants
with fair success, but did not know
what weight was. However. Newton,
by covering several acres with figures
proved that gravitation was the at
traction OF one planet for another and
for everything in its immediate vicin-
ity-immediate meaning within a few
billion miles. BY the aid Of the laws
Of gravitation Newton now dislodged
vast masses of information regarding
the solar system, and in a few years
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
COURT GOSSIP OF DOINGS
IN THE OLD WORLD

twin sons. Then there was the late Con-
suelo Duchess OF Manchester; one Of the
famous Yznaga girls. of New York. She
had twin daughters, but both died of con-
sumption. Lady Grey Egerton, daugh-
ter of the late Mai. Cuyler, U. S. A. Cwho
since her divorce has married Richard
McCreery, OF New York;, also had twin
sons, and there are numerous other In
stances OF these so-called international
unions that were blessed with twins.
But where twins in reality are very
rare is among the reigning houses. There
is, In fact, only one single INSTANCE, the
two sets of twin sons born 20 the sister
of the Kaiser, Princess Marguerite of
Prussia, married to Prince Friedrich
Karl of Hesse Darmstadt. FLANEUR.
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
Investigate Ennis Death.

A coroner's jury, summoned by DR..
s. b. Moore, city coroner. met at =
o'clock this afternoon at Wheatley's I'M
dertaking chapel and viewed the body
Of SUDDEN Ennis, of Hesln, Stafford
County, Va, who was killed while at
tempting to alight from a passenger train
at the Union railway station yesterday
afternoon, after which it was adjourned
over until 5 o'clock Thursday night
At the latter time the taking of the
testimony Of the witnesses will be heard.
No testimony was heard by the jury this
afternoon. owing to the inability Of sew
eral of the witnesses TO attend the in
quest.
The body of Ennis is still at the IN
dertaking establishment The jury is
composed of the following: James Il.
Martin, John II. Fisher. Charles p.
Waller, Harry d. Kirk, Thomas Chancey.
and d. L. ROhrY
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
Our Civil Servants.

Americans ought to feel kindly to-
ward civil service reform, for the
spoils system in England probably was
a factor in bringing this nation into
existence. Personal and partisan gov
ernment," says a British writer, with
all the entailed evils of the patronage
system, eliminated in Great Britain
during the reign of George III, and
was one of the causes of the Ameri-
can Revolution. 1t was a system which
as its one main achievement, brought
about the American war and made
England sick, once and for all, of the
very name of personal government "
There is no difference between per-
sonal government under a King and
partisan government under a Presi-
dent.
The American people suffered from
the spoils system a long time before
they began to take steps to. get rid OF
it, and the process of recovery is slow.
Even the treatment, necessary though
it is, is distasteful to many; and
there are some who would prefer to
stop with half cure rather than con-
tinue the treatment for complete re-
ccvery Civil service reform still is
obnoxious to the class of patriots who
think the whole science of government
is embodied in the once popular adage,
TO the victor belongs the spoils." 1t
is difficult to make job-hunting patriots
believe that civil service reform has
any other object than to keep them
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
FOR CHRISTMAS.

Auntie has a set Of furs,
Brother has a car;
Sister has a brooch for hers,
Handsome diamond star.
Grandma has a lovely shawl
Which she much enjoys;
Baby has a painted ball
And forty other toys.
Uncle has a shaving set,
Quite a fine affair.
Grandpa has the greatest yet,
IT'S a lounging chair;
You may. on the other hand,
Use II as a couch
Mother has a headache, and
Father has a Crouch.
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
Yulehde.

Year after year, across the earth,
The Christmas story echoes STILL
Glad tidings ring to ev'ry hearth
OF Gods sweet mercy and good will.
Peace and good will from heaven above
Peace and good will to great and small.
Oh. may great joy from realms of love
This Christmas Day bless one and all.
The story of the Nativity, the mes
sage it contains to Christianity, to mani
kind in general, though it has been
written, proclaimed, and reiterated
millions of times, is ever new, ever
refreshing, ever forging closer the
links of that chain of faith that binds
believing mankind to the Redeemcr.
But, taking its glorious religious
origin and meaning for granted, lcav-
ing the church to ceaselessly impress
upon her faithful the world-encompass-
ing gladstone tidings of ''Doxa Theo
Ypsistoi, Kai Anthropon Eurehneh, "
there is another cause why this is the
holiday of holidays. This is the mes
sage which the Nativity of the divine
child for nineteen centuries has car
ried-and no doubt forever will carry
to all children, making Christmas the
legendary day OF days, brimful of joy
and expectancy, providing Saint Mich
olas attends TO his business in the ap-
proved form, embodying chimneys and
RENDERS
Thus. almost the first religious i'm
pressions our children receive are
those of Joy, OF cheerfulness, of
optimism. of hope, and expectancy, and
it is we'll that they should be so forth
fed, for soon enough, in the serious
journey through life, they shall all need
the staff of genuine faith to lean
upon:
In the Worlds Broadfeld of Battle
In the Bivouac of Life,
And what would d children's Christ
mas be without a tree? What without
the mistletoe for our daughters to be
kissed under by the coming man."
The biggest Christmas tree ever seen
in England was an artificial one. 1t
was set up i'll the Crystal Palace in
1873, was 40 feet high and built up
of 1900 shrubs grated around a CEN
trail stem, that weighed $500 pounds,
and had been brought all the way from
Vancouver Island. From this MANI
moth tree 10000 toys, flags, bonbons,
&c were SUSPENDED
The majority of the fragile orna-
ments which parents attach to the
Christmas trees while their little ones
are asleep are from Germany.
They are made in the 'Thueringer
Valid" (Saxony), where every cottage
among the hills is a complete little
factory, and where the occupants are
busy all the year around to turn out
these Christmas tree ornaments. The
shipping center OF that section, Son.
nenberg, for three centuries has been
the headquarters of the tinsel and
glass decoration trade. And the good
mountain folk there arc kept pretty
busy almost day and night, for they
supply great portion of the entire
civilized world
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
Loses Christmas 'RoH.n

Hold up, beaten and robbed Of his
Christmas roll" OF S9N. was the expert.
ence Of a countryman named Henry
Clark while near the old Toll Gate. Fair.
fax County. n mile west Of this city. al
$50 o'clock last night Clark informed
residents of that section Of the robbery
and a pursuit was made for the man
without avail. The opinion prevails thai
the highwayman made off on a freight
train. Clark was given assistance by
residents Of that section.
The Real Estate and Investment Cor.
pOration of Virginia. with a capital stock
of from $1,OOO TO $4,000. the objects OF
which are to engage in the buying and
selling of real estate investments ana
securities. have been granted a charter
by the State Corporation Commission
officers are all local people and follow
John G. Graham, president: V. Ward
Boswell, secretary; G. Washington
Lewis. treasurer, all of this city The
new concern will have an office in the
Alexandria National Bank Building.
Old Dominion Commandcry. No. l
knights TempIar. will assemble at it,
asylum at noon tomorrow aud drink a
toast to the health OF Right Eminent Sill
William b. MelIish, grand commander
of the Knights Templar Of the United
States. whose home is in Cincinnati. The
toast will be proposed by Eminent Com
mandPr William G. lie Hew, OF Old
Dominion COmmandery.
Marley Encampment Of Odd Fellows
has elected the following officers to serve
for the ensuing year: W. Leon Clark
chief patriarch; J. w. McMenamin, high
priest: W. Z. Latham, jr., Junior war
den: l. S. Groves, recording scribe; W
a. Conway, financial scribe, and P. NJ
Bradshaw, treasurer.
Funeral services for Robert Lloyd, who
died yesterday. will be held at 10 O'Clock
tomorrow morning from his home. 11OS
Prince Street. They will be conducted
by Rev. w. +. Watson, pastor of the
First Baptist Church. Burial will be
in Bethel Cemetery.
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25

When his figures showed that the sun falling
Of a little during the heated ssas0n-"
grieved deeply whenever his figures
showed that the sun was falling OF
little during the heated season, or
that Venus wasn't as plump as she had
been the year preceding.
Newton died at the age Of IS, having
contributed a great amount OF wisdom
TO the human race. His life shoulC be
great encouragement to the tired
school boy who signs for death rather
than algebra Even algebra has its
uses IL mixed with brains.
Copyright 1872. by Georgs Mathew AdEnAl
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
CHRISTMAS.

Tho Star Of Bethlehem tonight
stil shines across two thousand years
Difusing glorious lambert light
To drive away all human teaS
The dawn Of Justice then began,
When Christ with love and Truth held sway
And money was beneath the man,
Triumphant in his GOdsliko way.
And through the ages yet to be,
Mankind in every land and cline, b..
Shall worship truth and liberty
JOHN A JOYCE.
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25

was able to publish the weight, height,
and girth of every planet
These discoveries made Newton very
famous, and he was knighted by Queen
Anne. However, he did not mind this
much and continued for the rest OF his
life studying the planets and weighing
them ever and anon with the sedulous
care of a mother Weighing her young
infant. So absorbed was he that he
took little interest in the world, and
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
December Is in History.

December ., 1595.-William Shakespeare
catches Queen Elizabeth under the mistle
toe and claims the usual forfeit.
December .. 15S9.-Sir Walter Raleigh
gets forty boxes Of Christmas cigars, and
eleven smoking jackets. You know, he
discovered tobacco.
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
Not a Bad Plan.

"Onr final sales for belated shoppers
worked very we'll"
what was the scheme
We piled everything on a big table
and the customers just shut their eyes
and grabbed
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
Just the Thing.

From Judge.
Mrs. Crabshav-According to you, this
breakfast food isn't good for anything.
Crabshaw-Not at all, my dear! I
think il would be first-rate stuff to
sprinkle on the sidewalk during slippery
weather
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
Reciprocity.

Pa" said the little boy who lives in
a fashionable hotel
Yes, my SOM
Santa Claus has certainly treated me
well. How large a tip should one give
Santa Claus?'
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
Money Thrown Away.
ur wife seems grouchy."

Your wife seems groucpy'
Same old Christmas grouch.
What's the trouble2'
why. after investing 500 in Christmas
presents for her folks, thoughtlessly
went and squandered "a on my own folks"
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
Tommy Had Been Busy.

Can the presents you bought be ex-
changed?' asked mother grimly.
II dunno" said father anxiously'
What's wrongT
Guess I'll have to try to exchange a
set of tools for a new parlor table"
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
The Small Boy.

From Judge.
1t is now you see that his greed is strong.
As he picks, out stocking Tor Christ
mas.
Could he have his way, he would have 1t
as long
As the coming canal at the isthmus.
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
A Real Santa.

/ saw Santa Claus one day;
On a country road was he.
And his wagon, by. the way,
Was initiated r. F. d.
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
Habit.


They say that Mrs. Newrich was a
kitchen maid before she married"
THAT accounts for her ability to cook
I'D stories and roast her neighbors!'
The Washington herald., 1912-12-25
Uncle PennYWise Saws:

I realize how little 1 am understood by
my friends.