The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1912-12-01
ODOROF THE ROSE
LIKE L|MBURGER
Count Castellane Seymore Finds
Everything Tasteless and
0dorless.
LAYS AFFLICTIoN ON
CARELESS POLO PONY
Partisan Nobleman Advocates Mar
riage of Reason, but Has
Never Tried It.

A double quest-for a similarly afflicted
person who can sympathize with him in
the loss Of his senses of taste and smell
and for somebody who will try out his
theory of the marriage OF reason''-has
brought Count August SchaefeIysxy de
Mukkadel de Castellane Seymore to
Washington
or course the count is from Paris, but
with a charmingly cosmopolitan spirit
he carries not only that gay city, but
also New York and San Francisco upon
his carte de visite. And San Francisco
brings him very near the cause of one
Of his searches.
1t was in Los Angeles that a pig of
a horse he was riding through some
prelimiinaries TO a polo game butted him
in the head and-zut! he reminds him
self of nothing-it issto forget all! When
he aWakes in the hospital he cannot
smell; he cannot taste. Gone, the de-
lights Of Cuisinerie! Gone, those tanta-
LIKING, teasing. hypnotizing. mesmeriz-
ingly wonderful creations of the chefs
art,
'Helas.' said the count. who is very
healthy looking person. with rudy COM
pleNiOn. clear. dancing blue eyes, and a
very Nivacious mustache. MY French
claret, limburger, caviar, roquefort.
mayonnaise. the strawberry. the apple,
duck. pea souP-sh, what you will-they
all taste alike"
Here the count seemed galvanized into
self-COntrOl. 1t was not for him, a son
OF France. to complain.
American Cooking, Bah!
What import?" he asked, twirling his
great Wilhelm mustache. ''All your
American cooking is alile-abominabl
Vegetables are undercooked and give
stomach troubles and induce divorce
There is small variety: hurry and guam
tity are the basis of your cookery.
An eNample-yOur sandwiches are I'M
eatable. Quick, look, CONNIE cele,'
And with almost incredible swiftness
and accuracy the count drew pictures of
typical American and Continental sand
witches while he described them. To
show their dimensions. a ravenously
opened mouth was approached lin the
drawings) to the respective abomination
and delights. He sketched the bread and
the butter, the various meats, and the
several cheeses he theorlzed should go
between the slices of bread
These are the advantages Of the Eu-
rOpean sandwich enumerated by the
count: 1t is sliced thin: heavily and
evenly buttered on both pieces OF bread;
meats or cheese sliced a trifie thicker
than writing material; meat covered with
pickles.
What about an egg sandwich the
IL
his mouth watering at the vivid iIlustra-
tons OF The Sandwich as a Science"
as the count described IL. Did you hear
egg sandwiches would be a dime to-mor-
row?"
The count didn't hear: he was en-
thralled by his own work.
Marriage of Reason.
''All those divine cookeries-lost, gone
bang-comme celia" moaned the count.
Il shall never taste again! 1t is the
same, the rose. the violet! I can smell
nothing"
The count was very affected At 'ast
he said he wished he could find another
case like his. Physicians everywhere
have told him there is no other.
But the marriage of reason-weIl. He
believes in it.
1T is-ah, reason, that's ALL he said.
There are just six rules to be sworn to:
To abstain from all liquor, chewing to-
bacco. gambling. lies, high life. gossip
all those are equally dangerous to hap
piness Of home life The "calfs-eye"
sensuality, sentimentality, which are
characteristic. of youth and its Stiffness.
are taboo. Likewise kisses, low gas,
holding Ilands-what you call spooning.
Now. again; necessary requisites for
admission to ranks of marriage OF rea-
son are business experiences, or tall
entS LOT one Oh the arts, OF Capital
There is to be a partnership in capital
or experience or talents. There is to be
no boss. but the signatures of both par
ties to the marriage OF reason must be
on each check to make it good.
There will be no ill-win or discom
fort Provision would be made before
marriage for divorce. Both parties
would live in their respective apart
ments and commune like friends, visit
ing by invitation, not by right Of mar
Tiage.
The world is fun of fool children
now" the count concluded. The world
ought to stop producing children on such
theories as those advanced by Theodore
Roosevelt
The count said he had never found a
man and a woman who would try out
his theory. lie said two women he had
talked it over with said they thought it
was fine.
He himself is unmarried.
y permit to chloroform himself when
he is through with life" by reason of
I'll health is possessed by the count. He
said the authorities at Portland, Greg.
gave it to him.