davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07

In 'HThe Fitz- Doodle Papers" Thackeray
recalls some of his own experiences when
he was young with a fortune-whieh
he spent-and was enjoying himself at the
petty German courts which existed in
those days. He was left one fortune, and
he had to make another He did So
But always. through his novels, runs,
in many devious ways, the pleasing rec
objection which he had of those dear old
s.Pumpernckle" days when he was care
free and imagined himself to be studying
art in Germany
THE Fitz-Boodle Papers were pub
lished first in Frasers Magazine, upon
the staff of which publication Thackeray
then was. The story of Fitz- Doodle and
his adventures is here told only with re-
gard to his German experiences.
Afterward Thackeray flung sarcasm and
satire upon the society" world of Lon
don by other papers which he called
"Fitz-Boodles Professions" But now that
satire has lost the biting sting it had
then, and the second series are of little
modern value.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
Dawdley Confesses

On that fatal night of the Prince $
ball Dawdley, coming back from his
tailor, had seen, through the open win
dow. Fitz- Doodle secretly enjoying a
smoke.
Il must not betray my friend he
thought, but in love, as in war, all is
fair and he shall betray himself"
Quietly going to his dressing room he
babe his valet take that part of Fitz-
Boobies costume which he had not yet
donned, to shut himself up in a closet
with it and smoke smoke, smolse-the
strongest tobacco he. had at hand
And so it was done and though the ex :
ertion made the valet deathly sick for
time he was paid for it by his mas
ter
The costume being sufficiently satur-
ated, Dawdley called to Fitz and what
happened we know.
Fitz was godfather to one of Lady
Dawdley's sons and hers was the only
house in London in which he was al
lowed to smoke unmolested
But he never was really friendly with
Dawdley again. whom he spoke of as
"a sly, spiritless fellow who took his
name off all his clubs the year. he
married"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
DisiIlusionment, Begins

At these parties there were generally
refreshments of a nature more substan-
tial than mere tea-punch, both milk and
rum, not wine. consomme, and a pc
culiar and exceedingly disagreeable sand
wich made of a mixture of cold white
pudding and garlic.
Gradually the narrowing conviction came
over the intelligence of z-Boodle-Otil
LA ate great deal too much He did
not dislike to see a woman eat comfort
ably He even thought woman should
ear well-almost heartily-and should love
little nickknacks.
And he knew that, though sometimes
at dinner they could really eat nothing
they had had roast mutton and turnips
with the children at o'clock.
Now woman who eats a grain of rice
only-like Amina in the Arabian Nights
Is absurd and unnatural But there is a.
limit. 1t was then that Fitz began to
realize te his horror that ottillia was what
he afterward in his rage said: "a gor-
mandizer; an ogressr'
He found that she was always eating
and she got thinner and thinner. IL
seemed, and more spirituelle at every
meal.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
Tempted Beyond His Strength

AS Fitz-Booble had no fancy to drive
through the streets in a cab dressed in
full Highland costume, 1t was arranged
that he should take a seat in Dawdley's
carriage and dress at his house. When
b earrived at Dawdley's that young
gentleman's costume had not arrived and
he drove off in rage to his tailor's
TO get it.
Fitz put on part of his absurd
Highland rig-the art of costuming was
not as well understood then as it is now
and then, wrapping himself in dressing
gown went down into Dawdeys study
TO wait his return.
The windows of the pretty room We're
open and a sofa with innumerable
cushions drawn toward one of them.
A great tranquil moon was staring in
1t the room in which stood, amid books
and all sorts of bachelors lumber, a
lisver tray with a couple of tan Vene-
tian glasses on it. a bottle of maris-
chino and a box Of cigars.
In spite of the fact that Fitz had al
ready drank considerable claret with soma
bachelor friends, he took a sip or two
Of the marichino
Then he looked toward the cigar box.
The house was still. he had not smoked
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
Five Meals a Day

She gobbled up more cakes than any
six people should have eaten. Then come
supper again, and the horrid rum punch
and the egg flip.
If he called at the barons in the morn
ing there was that familiar odor of the
garlicky sandwiches. If in the after
noon dinner had just been removed and
the place smelt of roast meat.
But his love made him bear all this
until-great Caesar-her nose began to get
red-the lovely nose of the lovely Ottillia.
the ''poetess of the soul,'' began to get
red.
How he used to watch it and notice
the varying hues. Some days it was
purple; some days more OF a vermillion.
He could take his oath that after a
heavy dinner, it was more purple than
anything else.
One night she. confessed that she ate
five meals a day. That settled it! Fitz
rushed away into the night.
What" he said wildly, marry a wom-
an who eats 81 times a week? With a
human sarcophagus, cannibal. a butch
er's shop? Away!'
He strove, and strove, and strove he
whispered 1.-THE drank-and fought
against his love. But 1t overcame him,
and he yielded himself up like a slave.
He began to think her nose was not SO
very red.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
His Education Lacking

In short, Fitz got on very well until the
court season began and the COMPOUNDED
balls-and then his usual luckl.
In those days the waltz was new to
England-though all the continent waltzed
and Fitz- Doodle had never really
learned to whirl in that enticing measure.
lie had tried hard to make up for the
defects of his early education in this
matter since he had been on his travels.
and had been instructed by some of the
best dancing masters In Paris.
But dancing is thing man must learn
in his early youth If he really expects
to become an expert at it-aye, even to
make any sort of creditable showing upon
a ballroom floor. F'itz did not dare. at
first, to try his luck upon the slippery
floors of the grand ducal palace.
But it was madness to him to see Doro-
thea whirllng around the room with Off
GERS, attaches, prim little chamberlains
with gold keys and embroidered coats.
her hand reposing upon the abominable
little officers epaulets. her good-humored
face lighted up with satisfaction.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
Securing an Introduction

At first the baron contented himself
with flattening his nose against the
window of his study and looking Fat
what the Highlander was about.
Then he put on his gray cap-with the
huge green shade-and sauntered to the
door. Then he walked around Fitz and
formed one of the group of idlers who
were looking on.
Finally Speck could restrain himself
no longer and. making an elaborate bow
to the 'Englander,' he began dis
course upon art and upon architecture
| in particular.
1T is curious said Speck, that you
have chosen the same view of which a
print has been engraved"
ut is singular replied Fitz-Boodle,
| Though it wasn't, as he had at win
dow traced his drawing of the very print
| in question:.
| Thus did George Savage FitzBoodle
become acquainted with the Won SpeclS
family, and was introduced to Leocadia
the fat woman in blue, the wife-and
TO Dorethea.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
The Oyster Feast

At this juncture the city of Hamburg
sent his highness as present-there was
a commercial treaty pending-a singular
present. 1t consisted of certain number
of barrels of oysters-which are con-
sidered extreme luxuries in the "Hinter-
land of Germany, where they are almost
unknown.
In honor of the oysters and the new
commercial treaty his highness an
nounced a grand supper and ball at the
palace and invited all the quality" of the
principalities round about.
1t was a splendid affair. The grand
saloons were brilliant with hundreds of
uniforms and toilets. Not the least beau
tiful, 1t need not be said, of that throne
was Ottolia.
At midnight the supper room was
thrown open and the guests were formed
into little parties of six, each having
a little table and a lacl<ey in attendance
with a gratifying ice pail or two of
champagne handy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
Unforgettable Rapture

Ottilia had six darling friends at the
school in Strasburg and every courier
from Kalbsbraten carried of whole
reams OF her letter paper. Ottillia had
great eyes--you could scarcely see her
face because of them--they were sc
wild. so tender and shone so that they
would have dazzled an eagle-let alone
poor goose like Fitz-Boodle.
In the theatre. when she sat oppo-
site him, those great eyes would pursue
him--he could not hear the opening.
Everybody who has spend winter
in Germany knows about the sleigh
ing parties. A party of score or more
of sleighs is formed. Away they go
to some pleasure house that has been
previously selected where d ball and
a collation. are prepared and where
each man. as his partner descends from
the sleigh, is privileged to salute her.
Thus did Fitz-Boodle take chaste
salute from the lips of Ottilia. Heavens
and earth" says he in his memoirs,
.if live to be a thousand years old
shall never forget the rapture Of that
salutei"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
He Just Sees Dorethea

After his failure-his faux pas, as 1T
were-wth regard to the Scottish heir
ess. Mr.. Fitz-Boodle went abroad and
there his susceptible heart was once
more engaged
1t was at Kalbsbraten, the capital Of
THAT very same duke in whose honor
the festival had been given at which
George had disgraced himself that Fitz-
Doodle met the fair Dorethea Won Speck.
Her father was chief architect to the
Hereditary Prince and had designed the
celebrated pump. or fountain, which
graced the market place of the little
city.
The city had population of 1000 and
a palace which could contain three
times that number.
Fitz had come to the little city with
out any especial object and was pre-
pared to resume his travels the next
day-when he saw Dorethea.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
And All Were Bad

1t was no small cost to serve 200 people
on solid silver and the supper was really
prncely and magnificent.
OF course Fitz had so arranged that he
sat at the table with Ottilia. There were
at that table, also, Capt. Fridelberger of
the guards. Capt. Frumpel and Mines. de
Butterbrod and Bopp. 1t was a very
select party.
The first course consisted, of courses of
the oysters, Ottilla's eyes cleaned as she
saw them opened. There were nine
apiece for them.
Now F'itz was never much of an oys-
ter-eater and did not like them Sin nat
uralibus'-he liked pepper and other con-
diments with oysters-and horrors. bread
and butter.
Well, by the time he had made his prep
arations to eat his oysters Ottilia's oys-
tiers were gone. The two captains ana
the ladies had nearly finished theirs.
There were only Fitz- Boobies oysters
left in the dish. He took one-it was badi
They were all bad.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
In Honor of His Highness

Well, when Miss McAlster went up to
London with her noble relatve-her moth
er was the daughter of Admiral Marlin
spike and Baron Plumduff-Lieut. Fitz-
Doodle went up, too.
o, how he did long for a smoke, But
q fortune and the lovely Mary McHls-
ter stood between him and the cigar box
- Now, as may be supposed, young
woman like Mary McAlister was not with
out suitors besides Lieut.. Fits-Boodle
Foremost among the other claimants was
young Lord Rawdley, a friend, but c
ovs2 Of Ektz-BoodIs.
That was the year-as all well-informe(
people will reconsideration the grea
fete was given at B House in honor
OF His Highness the Hereditary Prime,
of braten-Pumpernckle. who hat
come over to London 10 visit his angus
relatives.
II was a fancy dress bali and Scott.
poems being then in great vogue. it wa'
arranged that the fair Mary McAliste
was to appear as the Lady of the Lake
while Fitz-Boodle went as Roderick Din
and Dawdley went in the character o
Fitz-James.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
Literary Information

He found the whole family in a most
romantic turn and that Dorethea knew
everything about the literature of AL
bion'--as she was pleased to call it-and
asked news of all the foreign authors.
Fitz-the rogue-told her that Miss Ma
ria Edgeworth was one of the loveliest
young beauties of the British court he
described to her Lady Morgan as radiant
~ beautiful; he promised to give her a
signature of Mrs. Hemans (Which he wrote
for her that very EVENING".
| He also told of a fox hunt at which
he had seen Tom Moore and Samuel Rog-
ers; and boxing match in which the
sturdy author of Pelham was pitted
against the hardy mountain bard. Words
worth.
| You see Fits education has not been
neglected. for, though ne had never read
| the works of the above-named ladies and
gentlemen, yet he knew their names well
enough.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
After the Sleighride

Otillia descended from the sleigh. sighed
as Fitz saluted her and said: THE keen
air has given me an appetite"-the dear
angel
They entered the supper room and, to
say the truth. fairy as she was, she made
a remarkably good meal-consuming a
couple of basins of white soup, several
kinds OF German sausage, some West
phalia ham. some white puddings, an an
chovy salad made with corpichons and
onions; sweets innumerable and con-
siderably supply of old Stenwine and
rum punch afterward.
Then she got up and danced--think OF
it. dancedl-as brisk as a fairy.
In this last operation. of course Fitz
did not partake. but had the honor. at
the close of the evenings amusement
once more to have her by his side in the
sleigh as they swept IN the moonlight
over the crisp snow toward the city.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
One Small Satisfaction

Dorothea of course, screamed and her
mother, rushing forward. shouted out
MY child, Dorotheai'
Dorothea tainted and as soon as she
could be disentangled from Fitz-
Boobies spurs was borne off by a bevy
of tittering women.
Clumsy BRUTE" cried Nine. Won jSpeck
and turned her broad back upon Fitz,
who sat in the middle of the floor wild,
ghasty-looking about.
1t was all UP with him-he knew 1t
and his only distinct wish was that
he might die then and there.
But he did not; he finally picked him
self up and-somehow-how he never
knew. got back to his hotel. Klingen-
spohr married Dorothea-that was the
long and short of it,
But F'ltz did not leave Kalsbraten. and
before the marriage he challenged
Klingenspohr and put sabre cut across
his nose which destroyed his beauty
| forever
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
His Chosen Profession

Now there are only three professions
open to him-the law, the clergy and the
army. Since Mr.. Fitz- Boobies time this
list has been somewhat amplifed. but tc
this day 1t holds good us the rule-othei
avenues of enterprise are the exceptions
which prove 1t.
Medicine. for instance, has been an
nexed in a sort of complimentary way
but 1t is not encouraged in spite of the
many medical knights. And science
we'll that will do very well-but,
Mr.. Fitz-Boodle chose the army and his
brother bought him n commission ac-
cordingly.
His first love affair was with Mary Nc
Alester. a Scottish heiress, mistress of
$4,000 year in her own right besides
prospects.
When George proposed to her she said:
"George. II you will give up your idious
habit of smoking for one year | will marry
you" George promised and Mary waited.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07

They stood by in attitudes. One was
caressing the fat ladys poodle; the 9TH
er was twirling his moustache, which
was already as nearly as possible turned
up into his eyes.
''Who are these pert looking Off
cers?" asked Fitz- Doodle of his guide
The big one in epaulets is Maj. Won
Schnable the little one with the pale
face is Stiefel Won Klingensophr."
And the big woman" The one In
blue. That is the Grand Ducal Pumper-
nickelien-Court Architress and Upper
Palace Building Inspectress Won Speck
born Won Eyer. Your well-born honor
will remember the pump in the mark ei
! place? 1t was built by the great Vor
! Speck."
And the young lady seated there?'
20, the fraulein Dorethea."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
All a Man Could Do

II Dorothea had come to him the next
day after the accident and said, George,
will you marry me?" Fitz would have
done no such thing. Rage and pride
had taken the place of love; he kept
his room for d fortnight and, sending for
the courts physician, commanded him to
give out that he had dislocated his leg
and was upon the point of death.
He became interesting and had cards
left at his door. When he came out
again be called at old Speclx's house
and apologized for his awkwardness.
He made his appearance at court
and stated, calmly. that he d;isA not in
tend to dance any more. Klingenspohr,
who was present, grlnned, and then Fitz
challenged him.
In short, Mr.. Fitz-Boodle did every
thing that a man could do to repair
his defeat.
Then. seeing Dorothea lost to him.
Fitz determined to fall in love with
somebody else. This person was Ottilla
van Schippenschlopp. a social rival of
Dorotheas.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
The Catastrophe

Who says that his first waltz is not a
nervous moment? Fitz was more excited
than by any duel he had ever fought.
The time came.
'Will you dance with your sword on?''
said the sweetest voice in the world,
and Fitz laid that weapon aside
blushed, stammered and trembled. Away
they went over the polished oak floor
like a couple of fairies.
Courage, monsieur" whispered Doro-
thea with smile. Then-"It was very
good"
Then he heard voices humming and
buzsing about-''he dances, that English
mani
On they went. twisting and whiriine
and twirling. Couple after couple
dropped off painting.
Suddenly Fitz realized that he an6
Dorothea were dancing alone. All eyes
were turned upon them. Then-it is al
most toe LNrrible to relate-but George
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
Dorethea's Rival

Her father, the count. was 'Chancel-
lor of the United Duchess and lived
on the second floor of a house in the
Schnappsgasse. where. with his private
income and his revenues as chancellor.
amounting in all to come $500 a year-he
managed to keep up such a state as few
of the other officers of the grand ducal
court could maintain
He had but one child-Otillia. The
chancellor was a worthy man-very fat
and wheezy. fond of his pipe and his
rubber of whist
His countess was a very tall. Roman
nosed lady, pale and thin. who looked
as gentle as Mrs. Roy when. in the novel,
she is for putting Bale Nicol Jarvie into
the lake. She kept the chancellor in ex-
cellent order.
Fraulein ottilia had just returned from
a boarding school at Strasburg, speak
ing all the languages. dabbling in all
the sciences, an historian. a pc etess.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07

and, in consequence. he held his own
pretty well with Dorotnea.
He treated her armirer, Lieut.. Klingen-
sphor. with perfect sc6rn and had a man
ifest advantage over Major Schnable.
Somehow he used to meet the fair one
every day under the acacias in the little
park where she sat with her portly mama
and her lap-dog and read endless novels.
She confessed that she had been in love
with Uncas, with st. Breux with Ivanhoe
and with a host of German heroes Of fic-
tion.
When Fitz asked her II she, whose
heart was so tender toward heroes of ro-
nance, had never had a preference for
any one of her living admirers. she only
looked and blushed, and sighed and looked
down again and said nothing.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
What Might Have Been

Now it is said that His Gracious Ma
esty George II always insisted that his
oysters be a little "high.' But Fitz did
not like them that way. And Ottilia had
eaten nine bad oystersi
Dear Herr George" said she with her
soulful eyes shining upon him. will you
give me your oysters?" He did
That night he left Kalbsbraten forever
Long years after, when he was an old
bachelor in London. he used to think of
Ottilia-and more especially of Dorethea.
But all those days OF his youth were
passed and he could smoke and think and
think-of what might have been.
He left the army. he "sold out"-as
they could do in those days. He haunted
clubs.
Perhaps. after all, he got as much
pleasure out of life as other folk do Who
knows? But he was lonely.
Next weeks one-page classic will be
THE Wide, Wide World" by Susan
Warner.
Copyright. 1872 by Irving King)
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07

Kalsbraten is very hospitable place
as far as tea parties go. but one where
dinners are scarce. At the palace they
occurred twice month.
But on those occasions spinsters were
not invited and Fitz seldom had the OPP
portunity of seeing Otillia except at even
ing parties. Nor were those very much
to his taste.
too severe study and to play escarte
with old ladies who are sure to cheat
you is not a diversion which one longs
for.
But to have an occasional glimpse OF
Ottillia was enough and many napo-
leon did Fitz> lose to her mama, Madam
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
Camels of Small Size

From the Milwaukee Sentinel.
The first fossil camels ever found in
tact in America are being set up In the
Carnegie museum in Pittsburg. and Gu
rious little animals they are. being not
much larger than greyhounds, with slen-
der legs and long necks.
These skeletons were clothed with flesh
ages ago. ard existed in the Niobrara
valley in western Nebraska, where Prof.
o. A. Peterson of the Carnegie museum.
and Or. F. B. LOOMS OF Yale university
found them.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
What a Difference

What 9 difference there was between
poor, simple Dorethea's novel reading
and the profound. encyclopedia learn
ing of ottilia! Otilia wrote poems in
both French and English; she paint
ed pictures in real oil. and she played
the most classic music
While Dorethea sat in the park Otil-
liza was out riding upon big chestnut
mare with groom after her and such
of the officers of the little army as had
horses acting as her escort
She was tall, thin, pale--but beautiful
to look at. She said she had "soul.'
When she met Dorethea she would
rush toward her, call her her souls
darling" and a thousand affectionate
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
Born Won Ever

He had seen the wonders of the place
In about 10 minutes and was yawning
back in his hotel with his valet-de-
place when he saw in the park a young
lady with her mama by her side; the
young lady reading a novel.
Her mama was fat woman in light
blue and in attendance were two Of
ficers CHECKED in their 'astays" swith
various orders on their "spinnach-col-
ored breasts.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07

Savage Fitz-Boode fell--fell upon that
internal slippery floor!
Down they both came like a shot.
Over and over they rolled; the music
going 10 miles an hour and 900 pairs of
eyes fixed upon them.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-07
By
VIM. Makepeace Thackeray


Won schlippenschlopp, Yor the brief ner,od
when ne was blest to look upon otiliia.
Many were the tea parties he went to.
shiyering in the cold in evening clothes
after dinner-which sort of a thing he
hatedj-in order to have one little look
at the lady of his soul.