El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-04-18
The Long Green Versus Looks;
the High Brow, Superior Girl
Ms MUEKEN.
Fables of the Wise Dame.
By DOROTHY DIX.

- CE upon time there was a young
maid who prided herself upon
being a high browed proposition
who was superior to all OF the weak
nesses OF her sex
IF there is one thing that makes me
dead tired" she would say, 1T is the
vanity Of women and the way they
fall for flattery- Anything goes with
them so long as it is sugar-cOated, and
they never care what you are feeding
them so long as IL tastes like tatfy-
1t also gives me a pain to think that
immoral creatures spend the hours inst
they might devote to a discussion Of the
serious problems Of life in tanning each
other with hot air, and asking Dos
ducky IS OO2
Thank heaven do not possess that
kindergarten class Of near intellect
The very thought OF a Jolly is abhOr-
rent 10 me, and the man who wants 70
make a hit with me will be the wise
guy not to pass me out the sugared
chesInuJs, for 1 viii not stand for
them
I also apprehend that any song and
dance about being the only one he ever
loved will not get me, for 1 apprehend
that with the masculine persuasion it
is always the last female and not the
first who pulls down the orange Bios
SONS.
Likewise I opine that should not
care TO waste time holding hands, while
as Tor Kissing. my knowledge OF Dde-
teriOlogy teaches me that besides be-
ing silly, OSCILLATION is fun Of microbes.
So it's me for the decOllete truth, and
q courtshlp based on intellect and rea-
SON.
Now the maid was not strong on
good looks, but she possessed bank
account OF her own, and If she had
been only a common, or garden variety
Of girl there would have been men hot
footing Il after her but her Senu-
ments scared of all Of the sterner sex,
and II began TO look as II g career OF
pure intellect was frost for q female
At last however, an unsOphisticated
college professor strOIled into that
neck Of the woods. and as soon as he
heard OF the maiden's lofty views, he
set out in pursuit OF her
At last" he cried, Il have found the
affinity 7 have been seeking fe-
male creature who does not expect q
man 10 perJure his soul passing out
compliments about her pulchrituOe and
who would rather listen 10 him spell
about literature and art than tout her
charms, and intend to Cinch this good
thing while I can"
Noble creature he said 70 her, 'be
mine. for 1 perceive that you are 50
superior to your sex that II viii not
be necessary for me 70 push the velvet
and shove the salve with you. and that
You VIII not be foolish enough to eX-
pect me to pay you any Of those little
attentions that would distract my at
tention from my work.
4 will not tell you that you are the
only one because there are others Nor
viii 7 say that II you turn me down Il
viii blast my life, for you are next to
the fact that when a masculine crea-
ture gets on the bum IL is booze. and
not unreQuited love that does the
dinky dink for him.
Long Green Va. Looks.
Neither viii I tell you that you are
beaureOus a s your mirror will give me
the lie but I do not care for looks and
your supply of long green makes up
for your being short on nose and shy
IN hair, so that you average Up fair to
niddling''
But instead Of these veracious words
making a nit with the maiden, she be-
came very angry.
Brute" she cried, 'rbe gone! It IS
true that I do not care for flattery,
but desire TO be appreciated. and