Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-02-18

Continued from First Page.)


man for the job, will take it." He was
then Invested Of his disguise and form
ally declared admitted.
Pursuit Of the Money Devil.
OF course, the pending money trust in
had to come in for notice. and
did so with gusto. A money DEVIL rar
into the hall, pursued by w. j. Bryan,
Representatives Henry and Lindbergh.
II am the moneys devil" he explained
to President Garthe, land all I ask is
to be let alone
Lindbergh and Henry were chided fol
molesting the poor man., and went on t.
explain by way Of excuse with a profust
the possessors of good security, such a:
garden truck and the like, against the
Wall street spectators who get none!
without security.
Book on Presidential Race.
A laughable feature Of the entertain.
ment was the setting up Of a "booklnak.
er's" sheet in behalf Of the Great Demo
cratic Presidential Steeplechase, tn
classic of the political turf" The role
Of the bookmaker was most successfully
played by one Of the senior members OF
the club, who has often entertained 1t:
dinner guests with his representation OF
the barker" at the country circus.
Standing before a regulation bookmak
er's stand. the sport" loudly announced
his entries.
= Right this way, gentlemen. and pici
your favorite; everybody has a. chance te
win. Here is Woodrow W.. sired by jim
Smith, and damned by Henry Waiter
son, breezed out we'll on his last trial
going fast under a hard pull. Next is
Grover c., a famous stake horse. and
damned by w. J. Bryan. Here Is Tom
Marshall and J. w. Kern, entered b.
the Tom Taggart stable from the banks
of the Wabash, and coupled in the bet
ting. Next is Champ and Coy. Folk
j. Stone and J. Reed. both likely boys
will ride them Here is William Jennings
who will be ridden by w. J. Bryan. the
only rider who has ever been able to
stick on his back. Next comes Oscar W.,
a little conservative over the jumps. but
not least, Is Eugene N, entered mad
by Henry Cabot Lodge"
He then proceeded to offer odds and
there was some lively betting. A Ken
lucky sport, who resembled Ollie James,
put his money on William J., and, start
maker off t'.s sheet.
In the midst of the betting a boy from
the paddock rushed in and whispered
to the bookmaker, who received the mes
sage with CONSERVATION.
is there doctor with flask present.
he asked. Woodrow w. has just buckei
of his jockey, G. Harvey. and kicked al
innocent bystander. an editor from Ken
lucky, who is sadly in need of succor
A message from Clifford Pinchot read
III T. r. is an added starter, put 1O(
on him for me, especially If the track i.
Save your money" replied the book
maker: track drying rapidly" Another
message announced that Champ c. hat
kicked Gov. Folk in the paddock and thai
horse would be withdrawn.
The progress of the race was described
was about to be announced, the whole
was about to be announced the whole
thing was upset by Maj. Sylvester and 6
squad of cops rushing into the hall ani
''pinching" the bOokmaker and his outfit
Songs From the Tall Timber.
member of the club and a. gang OF
men arranging some trees in the center
Of the hall were called to order by Pres.
ident Garthe. 1t was explained thai
these trees furnished 1.-The tall timber te
which statesmen betake themselves these
parlous times. but the forest served also
to provide shelter for Robin Hood band
who then assembled.
There were Little Jim Garfield, Bill
Scarlet La Toilette, Friar Pinshow.
Robin Hood in bandits evening clothes
and a portly lady with a market basket,
addressed as Dame Marketing.
airs from robin Hood and
other sources. A parody on THE Ord
Cross Bow" ran thus:
"A statesman who dwelt on the Outlooks edge
Was deft with his old big stick: ,..
He hit It an awful lick.
He stopped awhile. and to sigh began;
They heard him both near and far.
Il you wait for the od1ce TO seek the man,
The Ofhce says, Stay where you are
Dame Marketing was asked about her
political preferences and waxed indig-
nant, thus vOicing her wrath against all
politicians and their works:
You promised me that one day I could buy
You said. with DR.. WIley's help you'd try
To shield the family stomach from all harm.
And yet when I take out my pocketbOOk each
And see how all my old mans coin has slipped
away,
shed another teardrop. as 1 say:
You promised me; you promised me.
Some one made the discovery that the
sure enough, from behind the trees came
a dozen men, each In the image and
of Uncle Joe Cannon. To the
melody of the Thinkers chorus they sang
some merry stanZas, knocking" men and
public questions.
A farcical skit was presented in the
appearance of loudly heralded Pink
Lady" This proved to be stout and
ancient dame, whose gray hairs &C.
corded ill with her kittenish costume, and
waltz with the several presidential candi-
dates.
Before the Court of Honor.
A Court Of Honor was held to pass
upon a number of disputed questions of
the hour. The court was equipped with
a press agent. and an innocent by
stander," who acted as interlocutor.
How have you decided the dispute be-
tweei William j. Bryan and Col. CUT
fey? was asked Of the court.
Guffey is right; he has the votes.
And that difference between La Fol-
Iette and Cummins?'
why, the only difference between them
Is that there is only one center of the
stage
Bryan's first choice?'
'Oh. no; Mr.. Wilson is Mr. Bryan
second choice"
What was the difficulty between Col.
Harvey and Woodrow Wilson,
THE principal difficulty seemed to be
that Henry WattersOn was present"
what is the tariff board doing at
Praying for an appropriation for next
years pay ROLL
do you believe that Col. Roosevelt
believes in the no-third-term ruler
Yes, but he is no bigot."
lis Col Roosevelt saying anything
about his candidacy?"