The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1912-12-23
THE DILEMMA
OF A SOLDIER
A Humorous Episode Of the
War OF the Sixties.


Van valkenburgh. descendant from
old Garrett Van valkenburgh, who
owned farm at the time Of the Rev
olution In what is now the middle ct
New York city. left his millions and
in the ranks went down into Virginia
to help preserve the Union.
Archies regiment one afternoon.
skirmishing through a little aristo
cratic Virginia town, encountered II
brigade of Confederates, which gave
them fire that disabled most of them
The rest scattered and ran back as
fast as their legs would carry them.
Archie among the runners. Mounting
a pretty white fence that inclosed Il
flower garden. he climbed into the
/ branches of u cherry tree. The leaves
as we'll as the cherries were thick, and
he was well hidden. The Confederate
commander, fearing an ambush. order
ed halt. leaving his pickets within
a few hundred yards Of the fence.
/ Night came oil and left the soldier up
the tree.
Marches had been long and fighting
| frequent. Archie was tired, hungry,
sleepy and ragged. In climbing the
tree a sharp broken limb had removed
! what remained of the seat Of his trou-
/ sers, but he didn't mind that so long as
he was safe from capture. Finding
two parallel branches near together.
he stretched himself between them
and went to sleep.
In the morning the bright sun awak'
ened him. and he found that all ap-
pearance of war had vanished. Direct
" beneath him was girl pluckinG
roses. Unfortunately the girl looked
up and saw him.
She was about to shrek when
Archie dropped directly before her
Doffing his hat and bowling very low.
as was the custom with swells in those
days, he said:
Pardon me for coveting your cher
ries. | was hungry"
"Are you one Of ours?" was her first
question. His uniform was 80 dilapi-
dated that she couldn't tell whether 1t
was Confederate or Federal.
81 am not one Of yours" he replied.
81 wish WERE"
"What do you meanT'
81 refer to the cherries and roses"
"Ohw
IF were a cherry you could eat
me. if a rose you could wear me in
your hair"
Her fright vanished. What hand
some, ragged. dirty man.
"You are my prisoner" she said.
Delighted to be made captive"
Il mean it, A single word from me
would call a number of people"
please don't speak it."
II order you to turn and walk before
me to the house over there"
Archie remembered the missing seat
of his trousers. He paled slightly.
would you mind my walking back
ward?" he asked humbly.
"Backward%'
Eyes; you look awfully fierce"
The girl smiled. She held her arm
toward him, a rose in the hand.
"YOu see" he said, taking the rose
facing you | can disarm you"
Its all the weapon | have. YOn
are in no danger. Now turn about and
move forward or I'll call"
won't you please walk before meT'
Certainly not. Do you suppose
wish to be murdered"
"And don't wish to be cruci6ed.'
81 would advise you to do as | say
Really you are a very nice, ragged.
dirty Yankee like you, and If You
will do as | say before any one comes
I'll take you home and hide you"
Here were two horns of a dilemma
on the one hand. avoidance Of going to
Libby prison: on the other, walking be
fore a pretty girl with an exposed
shirt tail The blood of generations of
swells revolted at such an ignominious
situation.
Never" he said at last
"YOu don't mean that you fear an
unarmed girl? How can you Yankees
expect to conquer our men II you are
afraid Of our girlsY'
"If you were a man you might
march me anywhere. I'm unarmed
"About face-march"
81 mutiny Excuse me. | must mn
tinyw
"Oh. you do? Well II you continue
| to There, your obstinacy has cost
you your liberty. That's my fathr'
coming He'll call out sufficient mel
to arrest you, and they'll send yon Il"
Richmond cant protect you"
A gentleman came up and. seeing his
daughter talking with disreputahe
| looking man. knitted his brOws.
Father" said the girl. there's u
Yankee He hid In this tree when ON
boys drove his people off yesterdn,
evening. | ordered MIN to march be
fore me 10 the house, and he refuses
| Take him In charge"
you march to that house mighty
| quick" said the man. "Or up
81 will If your daughter will go first
"Why sof" asked the man, surprised
| Look"
He turned his back to the gentleman
Carey" said the latter, go on