davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10

When the uncle of a couple of
Brooklyn youngsters last called at
the household whereof they form
part he brought with him some pieces
Of candy, which were given to the
little girl to divide with her brother.
Later the uncle summoned this
child to the living room and asked:
Marie, when you divided those five
pieces of candy with your brother, did
you give him two and half pieces?"
mo, SIR said Marie. Il saw they
weren't going to come out even, so
ate one before I began to divide
Lippincott's Magazine
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10

Bancroft for a private view" of the
coveted red rose.
"Oh, that must be Benefits new
rose, the English beauty" said the
first woman to spy it.
Not at all, madame" said Brady,
proudly, that is the American red
rose"
Then it is the American Beauty"
said the lady, not to be outdone.
/ And then and there the name orig
J mated, and not all of Brady's storm
lest persuasions could ever dislodge
| it. >F'or the roses maker had already
| decided that it should be named for
! Judge Hagner, a warm friend OF Mr..
( Bancroft, and Bradys bright particu
/ lar star, and to have the choice of it's
name and the christening ceremony
swept out of his reach at one fell
swoop would have tried the patience
| of saint
Brady finally made the best of it,
and contented himself with assuring
/ Judge Eagner that things would have
/ been different if he had had any say
in them
From this time on, however, the his
tory of John Brady and his precious
rose begins to take a somber turn. Mr.
Bancroft died in 1891. bequeathing the
| American Beauty 0 Brady as a tesla
ment of his affection and appreciation.
! The famous gardens passed into other
hands, and Brady moved, with his
large and hungry family and his
handful of American Beauty rose
bushes, into a little house outside OF
! Washington.
Things went rapidly from bad to
worse. Brady had neither money
nor the knack of picking up odd jobs.
His eldest son was still too young for
responsibility, and the ages of the
others, in regular succession, dimin-
ished punctually by a year His wife
was frail, out of patience with power
ty, and worn to exhaustion with the
care of children,
Brady survived the first part of this
bleak period by observing the Span
is proverb, Patience, and shuttle the
cards" No stress of want could make
him part with his rose bushes, though
his wife, regarding him as a sort of
monomaniac on this subject, put her
noblest persuasions into the task of
undoing his resolve.
To his reiterated tales of the for
tune that would come to him some
day through the American Beauty
rose Mrs. Brady reasonably replied
that she and the children were hungry
that very day and Tour, and that more
than her soul was sick with hope de-
ferred
But some prescience of the inherent
value OF his rose kept Brady obdurate
to appeals, domestic or professional
The world of fashion had all but
forgotten the interregnum of the
| American Beauty in the Bancroft gar
deus. Rose culturists had thought,
many of them. that it had never out
lived its heyday Only a few of the
more observant had remembered that
! the treasured bushes had been a Iega.
cy from Bancroft to his gardener.
One OF these last was the elder OF
the Field Brothers, wholesale florists
on the old Seventh street road. out.
side of Washington. They made con
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10

It was ON one of these forloTn occa-
sions that Mrs. Bradys patience snap
ped and her loyalty faltered. she
seized the pampered rose bushes,
made haste to Field Brothers, ana
sold them, one and ALL for scarcely
more than the price Of single meal,
When this was told to Brady, he
touched the hour of his supreme tribu-
lation His world fell away from be-
meath his feet. Not once in the IS
years since then has the stupOr which
came upon him lifted for long enough
for realization Of his misery to sift
through
Matters went merrily with the rose
he made. Field Brothers, by skillful
advertising, were able to sell their ex-
elusive right to its reproduction for
5000. Within a year ten times that
amount was being paid for it by en-
thusiastic purchasers here and
abroad.
For ten years past moderate esti-
mate of the amount of money spent
annually all over the world for Amer
lean Beauty roses is 25,000,0 900.
John Brady is still homeless in
Washington. His wife and the fam
ished children have died, one after
another. He himself is the recipient
of constant small charities from Wash
ington florists, any of whom will give
him bits of work, spraying, or cutting,
when his mind can be held to his
task
At the funeral of William r. Smith,
| the famous old Scotch superintendent
Of the National Botanical gardens,
who had at eighty, the reputation of
knowing more public men-diplOmats,
| statesmen, and politicians-than any
other person then living in the United
States, there was an assemblage Of
| men aggregating almost incalculable
personal distinction. Into the midst
of them crept a shabby, bent old man,
who, with averted eyes and bowed
| head sided into a corner and wept
| with unmistakable suffering. He was
without aEy doubt the most humble
and obscure sorrower at the funeral
/ ceremony. He was John Brady, maker
| of the American Beauty.
| MercifuIly he does not feel the in
finite pathos of his lot His real
tragedy ended Is years ago, when,
having nothing left to hope, he had
nothing left to fear If you search
him out and question him, you will
| find him curiously apathetic
| Me? I am nothing he
will say to you. My rose? Yes, that
was my fortune, but they took it
away from me- cannot make an
| other-I am nothing"
| And he will tell you this with the
most exquisite manners, learned, per-
haps, in the Bancroft gardens. His
eyes Will tighten, his voice will in
tone gently and courteously, and for
an instant before the Iethargy steals
over him again you viii glimpse the
power that could drag from earth and
make permanent the most wonderful
rose she gives.
He has kept, or perhaps got back,
an impressive sweetness Of nature.
| One thing only stirs him to overt
flashes of rebeIIious misery-it is to
be asked to see or handle an Amer
lean Beauty rose.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
News Notes of Wisconsin.

ShawanO. - Webster Ballinger.
nephew Of the ex-secretary of the in
terror, and Joseph McGlachin, both
deputy United States attorneys from
Washington, D. c., are here taking
evidence in the Koch VS.. the United
States lumber case, before United
States Court Commissioner Wescott.
The case arises out of an alleged non
payment of a bill by the United
States to W. A Koch and W. S.
Koch (deceased) known by the firm
name of Koch Lumber company, for
the banking of several millions of
feet of logs from the Menomfnee In
dian reservation four years ago.
Milwaukee.-An investigation is
being made by the coroner, assisted
by the police department, to find the
parents of the new born babe found
floating in the Kinnickinnic river.
According to the coroner, the baby
died by drowning. No marks of VIC
lence have been found on the body.
Madisos. = Milwaukee, Racine.
Chicago, Peoria, Ill; Streator, Ill;
st. Louis, Kansas City and St. Jo-
seph, Mo, and Omaha, Neb., will be
on the route Of the university man
dolin and glee clubs this year.
Sheboygan.-The Rev. Frederick
Wolbrecht, who resigned from Trim
ity Lutheran church after twenty
eight years, has been chosen pastor
of the Kohler Lutheran church
Racine.-George Morton, tramp
molder from Cincinnati, was SEN
fenced to five years in state prison
for illtreating two small boys whom
he met at Corliss and for which the
citizens tried to lynch him.
Manitowoc.-As a result of play
ing with a gun which he took down
from the wall, Clement Steinbrecher,
12-year-oId Cooperstown boy, will
probably die The gun was loaded and
went off, shooting the boy in the
head.
Neenah. The scarcity of laboring
men in Neenah is causing various
manufacturing firms to send for men
from other points. Large numbers
of Greeks, Hungarians and other for
eigners are being brought here
anesville.-Nicholas Kehoe sus-
tanned a fractured left arm and sew
eral other youths were slightly in
jured when the automobile in which
they were riding turned turtle near
here.
Kenosha.-Christian Nelson, so
years old, Silver Lake, committed
suicide on the Johnson farm near
here. Nelson went into the barn and
found a rope hanging down from the
top of the barn. 1t was not long
enough to make a loop and the man
sat down and took off his shoes and
used the leather strings to make a
moose. Nelson is supposed to have
been respondent on account of con-
tinued illness.
Racine-Jesse Bartelson, 27, a
teamster, is charged with having
stabbed his aged mother in the
breast when she upbraided him.
Manifestation Miller, a woods
man, so years old, dropped dead in
the saloon of Arthur Rettke. Miller
for ten years worked in woods at
Pentoga, Mich. Nothing can be
learned of his family. Coroner
James Tweedie will not hold an in
quest, having decided death was due
to heart trouble.
Plainfield-Carl Applebee. aged
90, was shot and instantly killed
while hunting, the charge tearing the
top part of his head off He had gone
hunting alone and nothing was
known of the accident until the body
was found.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Not Now.

brought in?" inquired the police ser
geant
He says he's a congressman" re
sponded the patroIman.
What district"
e asked i'm that, an he said he was
a congressman at large"
We'll, he isn't" snapped the ser
geant Lock him up
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
TO ADD TO MENTAL ENERGY

It took q German scientist to invent
the intellectual pill. The basis of this
is 8 drug called antikenotoxin, which
has the quality of neutralizing the
poisoOs which are said to be the cause
Of mental atigue. Doctor Weichardt,
sen. recently demonstrated that the
muscles of animals suffering from
physical or mental WEAKNESS secrete
a certain poison, to which he gave the
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
GOOD 80 |
JOKES / -
TAKING NO CHANCES.

rs Mrs. Tracey in?" the caller
asked.
The hired girl looked her over with
suspicion.
Are you an agent for the rough-dry
laundry"
No, indeed"
You amt introducing any foolish
lsbor-saving patents for the kitchen,
are your"
No"
The reason 1 ask" the girl ex-
planned, is that a lady I let in yes
terday turned out to be selling electric
wringers, and I heard her tell Mrs.
Tracey that half the society women Of
the Oranges had bought her machines
and let their help go. But if you're
just plain caller you can come in
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
MANY HOUSES OLD MAlDlSH
Sda TarbelI Coins a Phrase That
Seems to Pretty Well Express the
Idea Conveyed.

One Of the most repeIlent houses in
which | have ever visited was one IN
which there was from garnet to cellar,
so far as I discovered, not one article
which was not Of the period initiated,
not one streak of color which was not
right" Ida NJ Tarbell writes in the
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Presence of Mind.

ooh, john" shrieked Mrs. Dorkins.
THE baby has swallowed silver
quarter!"
Mr.. Dorkins took handful of
change out of his pocket and looked
it over
Calm yourself, Maria" he said. cit
was that counterfeit quarter I've been
trying to get rid Of"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10

name kenotoXin. Then it was shown
that anti-kenotoxin injected into a man
increases physical and mental vigor
This led Professor Lorentz to think of
utilizing antikenotoxin to stimulate
work. He considered that errors Of
calculation, for example, should be set
down to fatigue. He found that prob
lens given to his class in mathemat-
les at the beginning of the lesson
was solved in five minutes by three
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Due REGARD fer Appearances.

Caller-I understand there are sew
eral vacancies in your working staff,
and I should like a job as solicitor.
paEy-Begging your pardon for my
seeming rudeness, young man, you are
too skinny and cadaverous to be a
good walking advertisement for an in
stitution like ours. Good morning.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
EnlIndlnn 1 Career

THAT was a great speech you
made" said the enthusiastic friend.
do you think it will help me?"
asked Senator Sorghum.
"UnQuestionably. 1t may not have
much influence in public affairs, but
it ought to get you an engagement
with any lecture bureau
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10

piece Of correct furnishing. but it was
curiously limiting and sitting. You
could not escape the scheme. The in
elasticity Of it hampered sociability-
and there grew on one, too, a sense of
unftness. It's clothes were an ana
chronisml They were the only thing
which did not belong.
There is an old fashioned adjective
which describes better than any other
this preoccupation with things, which
so often prevents 8 woman's coming
to an understanding of the heart of
her business. 1t is old maidish. 1t
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Motor Murder.

What's your hard luck story,
hobo?"
Il was a prosperous restaurant
keeper in New York. But that last
murder ruined me business"
las to how?"
after that every time an automo-
bile rolled up to me door me patrons
all rushed out at the back"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
The Postcard Habit

well, Hiram, your summer board
ers seem to have about everything
they want"
They're fairly content. I only over
looked one point. Forgot to provide
any postcards of such points of in
terest as the henhouse and the
pump"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
More Labor Agitation.

MiIdred-Suppose you had to
work
Maurice de-ah girl. Most
extraordinary idea!
MfIdred-OnIy suppose
Maurice-Don't; you make me feel
quite exhausted.-Lcndon Opinion
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Another Blow At Tradition.

Il don't believe" said Mr. Growcher,
that nature intended the country to
be used as picnic ground"
why not?'
IF she had she would have arranged
to grow sardines, hard-boiled eggs and
lemonade as 10 al products"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10

in three minutes by three students; in
four minutes by thirty-one, and in ten
minutes by one, And the solutions
contained fewer errors than usual.
This was the origin of Doctor Lor-
entz' intellectual pills! European
physicians are still a bit scepticaI
saying the pills must be subjected to
more thorough tests.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Looks Suspicious.

Mrs. Nupler-Are the Bridelums
happy with each other?
Mrs. Alters haven't heard them
say; but I notice they never speak to
Mrs. Levitt any more-you know, she
is the lady who introduced them
Lippincott's Magazine.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
How to Nail Them,

BiII-When a Japanese maiden de-
sires to show marked attention to her
lover she uses the sharpened point Of
one of her finger nails in writing to
him
JILL suppose many a poor Jap
has been nailed" that way.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Chicago, Oct. 5, 1912

Cattle - Beeves, $50 @11.00;
stockers and feeders, 4.4O@7.6O;
COWS and heifers. assessor; calves,
8.O0@11.5O.
Hogs-Ltght, 8.30@8.90; heavy,
sos q 8.85; rough, 8.05@825; pigs,
5.250S.25.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
ExpecIation.

What do you want, ma'am? Do
come here and buy!"
Not today, but in a few days we
shall inherit 5000 marks, and I want
to look at something now."-Meggen-
dOrfer Rlaetter
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Youthful Wnman Pasfnr

Rev Miss Ina L. Morgan, of the
Methodist church of Georgetown and
Arrowsic, Me-, is the youngest woman
aston in New England. She is in her
arly twenties and has been engaged
n church work for nearly four years,
aving received license in 1903 from
bishop John w Hamilton, of Worces-
e..
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
HesrtthFobs

Patience-It is said that man has
never constructed piece Of machin-
cry with the efficiency Of ;he human
heart. 1t has a capacity Of 1922 gal
Ions per day.
Patrice-I never knew before that
they measured love by the gallon.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10

Those love truth best who to them
selves are true, and what they dare
to dream of, dare to do.-James Rus.
sell Lowell
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Making Him Useful.

lester. why do you encourage that
city dude to call on you?"
Father insists on it. He has the
fly swatting habit, that city Teller has.
Yesterday afternoon he sat on the
porch and killed 400 flies"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
What He Had Done.

What have you ever done for me?"
complained the young man whose
father had chided him for his in
ability to get ahead
We'll, I kept your mother from
naming you Percy or Clarence"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10

Redd-Does Black adopt any Of the
frst-aid-to-the-injure methods?
Greene-Oh, yes. He carries an ak
in his car, and when he runs over
chicken he always jumps put ard
chops off its head
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Mas Short

Barber-Hair cut, sir?
Customer-Yes, please.
Barger-ShOrt?
Customer Feeling in his pockets
Well, l am a little. VIII it do if
pay you urday?-London Tele-
graph.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
PrscocitY.

Mamma I think Henry is going to
be a linguist."
why, dear?"
81 have just been listening 10 him,
and in less than three minutes he
used five different kinds Of slang"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Exnert knnNulhdne

She-Do you think bats can really
do harm to your head?
He-They can make it feel like it's
three times as big the next morning
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10

has often been the pathetic fate Of
single women to live alone To min
lister to themselves becomes their oc-
cupation. The force of their natures
turns TO their belongings. If in strait
ened circumstances they gave their
souls to spotIess floors, if rich TO flaw
less mahogany and china, to perfect
household machinery. Wherever you
find in women this perversion-old
maidish is perhaps the most accurate
word for her-it is a sacrifice Of the
human to the material. A house with
out sweet human litter, without the
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Nothing to II.

81 suppose you met your fate while
you were away" exclaimed the ro-
mantle girl.
4 got engaged eight of nine
times" responded the practical dam
gel eff that's what you mean"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
q Wise Dad

I'm going to do something for this
infant for which he will be grateful
to me in after life"
What is that2"
I'm going to see that he is never
photographed minus his clothes"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
HARDLY.

'I was so disappointed in him"
why? Did he seem when he invit-
ed you out to dinner to be stingy2"
No: but one doesn't expect a man
who wears tortoise-shell glasses to
saw them kind
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Suspicious.

Editor-Have you submitted this
poem anywhere else?
Jokesmith-No, sir.
Editor-Then where did you get
that black eye?-Satire.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Patriot Perils.

TO private life, in this unresting land,
How many public servants hold have
goneI
It's difficult to set an office and
Considerably more so to hold on.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Her Preference,

She-Jack tells me all his secrets.
Her Friend-WeIl, you don't object
to that, do you?
She-Oh, / don't know. l think I'd
rather ind them out
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10

students: in eight minutes by thirty
three; in ten minutes by sixteen.
Other similar problems, given at the
close Of the lesson, were solved in five
minutes by one student; in eight min
utes by twenty-seven; in ten minutes
by twenty-three. Evidently, said the
professor, it is mental fatigue that
causes the slower work On a subse-
quent day, Professor Lorentz vapor-
lied antikenotoxin in the classroom
first before the close of the period and
then set his pupils problems as before
The result was that they were solved
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Inhcrited.

Bacon-Did you ever notice how
slow he moves?
Egbert-Yes. he inherits that trait.
HIS people were great chess players,
you know.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
The Wisdom Of Experience.

rs this your first matrimonial yea
ture, Mrs Boggsley?"
This is not q venture at all" re-
piled the former grass-widow. Il
made him settle $4,000 on me before
the wedding.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10

Office Boy-My vacation begins to
morrow.
His Chum-How long have ger got?
Office Boy-As long as I like. The
boss told me I needn't come back at
all.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
Music and Money

Blobbs-f you were going in fol-
music, which instrument would you
choose?
Slobbs-Well, I've always thought
would like to be a soloist on a cash
register.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10
In the printer,s Office.

THAT copy is damning proof Of our
charges. Where is it?"
The damning copy? I guess the
devils got it."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-10-10

Marinette.- Chief of Police Cook
has been suspended by the fire and
police commission on charges filed
by Sheriff A z. SchWittay, who
claims that the chief pulled a re-
volyer on him on two different ocea-
sions and also that he appropriated
fees to which he was not legally en-
titled.
Chippewa Falls-Fred GoodeII,
age q, of Wheeler, was brought here
with his right forearm shot of. He
almost bled to death. The accident
occurred while he was hunting ducks,
his shotgun discharging accidentally.