davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
washington Morality.

1t is becoming more and more the
fashion for great social and moral re-
formers throughout the country to
paint pictures Of the wickedness of
Washington and to compare #, in its
vice and degeneracy, with ancient
Rome with the accompanying predic-
tions of the imminent downfall Of the
republic IN consequence of this. To
those who are on the spot and are
acquainted with the conditions OF NOR
atty to be found here, il is very evil
dent that these calamity spreaders
either have a very imperfect luowl-
edge of the conditions in ancient Rome
before its fall, or else they do not
know Washington.
If, as has been publicly declared, the
man in the moon is obliged to hold his
nose when he passes over Washington,
one is inclined to wonder what he does
when, in his shifting orbit, he is com
PEELED to pass over some other places
which need not be mentioned. Every
little while we are treated to blister
ing denunciation, always, however, in
very general terms, of the unspeakable
moral rottenness of@the city. So wide
spread has this impression become that
visitors often express surprise to find
US such law-abiding people, taking
our vices as. innocently and as HARM
lessly as we do.
Washington has long been the
''frightful example" for congregations
and communities in all parts of the
country. Fearful tales of wickedness
have been spread insidiously by those
who have made one trip here, INDUCED
in an orgy of peanuts and soda water,
and have gone back telling tales of
their experience which have made
them out "a very devil of fellow" in
the eyes of their acquaintances.
Meanwhile our people, keeping the
noiseless tenor of their way, have gone
about their business, and have taken
their innocent joys and recreations all
unmindful of the fearful fate hanging
over the city by reason of their reputed
wickedness. All of this time, however,
there have been silently at work as
strong moral forces and agencies for
good as can be found anywhere. These
earnest workers, whose numbers are
the true estimate of the morale of any
community, have been doing Sue
cessfuI work. And it is they who
know of the absurdity of the thunder
ing philippics of our denuncistors which
by most of US are regarded as more
ludicrous than offensive.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
AMBITION
NJ GEORGE FITCH,
Aathor Of "At Good old siwash."

Ambition Is the stun that schemes are
made of-particularIy political sehemes
1t Is also q sort, OF mental tack which
makes Il uncomfortable for a man to
SIT down. Il Is likewise a grim task
master which takes him by the ear when
he has. finished the things he has to do,
and leads him over to a pile OF things
which he has chance TO do.
The world was once full OF slaves who
toiled nineteen hours a day for their
cruel owners Nowadays It Is full OF
slaves who toll the same hours for ambi-
tion, and plan new tasks for themselves
during the other fve.
Ambition has nIled this land full OF
milllonaires. bankrupts. statesmen. jan
gled nerves, busted digestions, poor plano
players. and unhappy fathers-in-law OF
foreign noblemen. This indicates that
ambition isn't always a good thing-
which is strictly true. Ambition Is a
grand thing when properly fitted with
check valves. brakes. and clutch-releases.
But when ambition takes a man and
yanks him from the cradle to the tomb
without giving him a day OF to go out
In the country and hear the corn grow, Il
ID no better than a runaway horse.
The world never gets tired OF viewing
the marvels wrought by ambition Am
bition Is fond Of picking up human riff
ran such as crippies, orphans. igno-
ramuses, invalids, and truant schoolboys
and making them into artists. poets. gen.
erals, statesmen. and Presidents. Ambi-
ton. plus a small man with a receding
chin. Is more formidable than a giant
with college education and a fine taste
in easy chairs.
Ambition Is harder on content than a
cat is on a mouse. II Is also tolerably
hard on honesty. but IL likewise eradi-
Gates laziness and shiftlessness. and when
a man is suffering from a large dose Of
concentrated ambition he may be found
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
RECORD OF FRENCH
AUTOMOBILE BANDITS

November 81, 1911, at chateIet-
en-Brie-Murdered a chauffeur
and stole automobile.
December IL. 1911, at Bou-
logne-Sur-seine-Stole automo-
bile of NJ. Norman.
December 81, 1911. in Paris
Attempted murder of Bank Mes
senger Caby, In Rue ordener.
January 81, 1912, In Paris
Robbed Bank Messenger Gouy-
Pallet Of $4,000.
January 81, 1919, at Les Au-
brais-Robbed freight station;
wounded two men.
February 27, 1912, at Anger
ville-Fought revolver battle
with police and killed one. Slay-
er committed suicide.
February 81. 1912, in Paris
Shot Policeman GaTnier. who
tried to stop bands flight.
February %. 1919, at Pontoise
Attempted to rob office of No
tary Tuitant.
March 20, 1912, at Chaton-At-
tempted to rob a garage.
March 25, 1912, at Montgeron-
Murdered chauffeur named Ma
thille and stole his car.
March 20, 1912, at Chantilly-
Robbed Societe Generate Bank;
got $4,000; killed two clerks.
April %, 1912, in Paris-In re-
volver duel killed Assistant Po-
lice Superintendent 'JouIn;
wounded Chief Inspector Colmas.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
Drinking in the Colleges.

President Jacob Could Schurman. OF
Cornell, has come out fatfooted for
prohibition in his school of learning.
Alcoholism among the students, he
says, is on the increase, and should be
stopped before if goes any further.
While President, Schurman does not
say that drinking among the students
inevitably brings disastrous or serious
consequences, he does believe that the
man who is trying to get the fullest
value from his studies should be a
total abstainer. Therefore, the leaders
among the upper classmen should
never be seen in any drinking resort,
because they set the example and the
fashion for the entire institution, and
their word is, in some respects, almost
law. If young student finds that his
social position or his personal pres
tige--i is strengthened by drinking, he
will drink, no matter what the effect
is upon his work.
The situation at Cornell merely en-
phasizes the ancient fact that the ma
jority of young men do not drink
through any great appetite for liquid
allurement, but because it becomes al
most an essential part of their social
duties. Many of those who drink in
the colleges would welcome prohibi-
ton, because it would remove tempta-
ton from their path.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
STATESMEN, REAL AND NEAR.
By FRED c. KELLY

cidentally turned on IN several Of ths
cars.
One Of Representative Kahn's Califor-
mia constituents wrote to him not long
ago inelosing blue prints OF a device he
had thought up for "scrutinizing heav-
emily bodies" as he put II. He wished to
have an appropriation Of a million dol
lars or so from Congress to perfect his
device. so that the humblest citizen
could know Just what Is going on in
Mars and various other celestial points
Kahn didn't like to offend the man
with a fiat refusal OF Congress to appro-
pirate the money, and he put IL 20 him
like this:
I'VE have gone over the situation care
fully. and the best lawyers among US
are Of the opinion that we can do moth
ing for the reason that Congress has no
jurisdiction over heavenly bodies"
Copyright. 1872 By Fred C. Kelly All riEhts -
seTTedD
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
Oyster vs.. The Commissioners.

There IS no excuse, under ordinary
conditions, for revamping the ancient
controversy regarding the Board of
Education. For years that embattled
body has been the center of crimina-
ton and recrimination, all futile and
unavailing. The proposal of the Dis
trict Commissioners 10 abolish the
board, however, obviously was based
upon a condition Of affairs incompat-
ible with the Washington boast that
our schools were equal to the best IN
the nation If the Commissioners do
not believe there arc some deep
seated evils in our school system, their
recommendation to Congress was a
needless invitation to municipal squab-
bic.
The Commissioners assert there IS
too much politics in the schools. Capt.
Oyster, President of the Board of Ed
ucation, challenges then to produce
proof of the assertion. He appends
the salient commentary that one rea-
son why the Commissioners no longer
appoint members of the board is that
they insisted in injecting politics into
strictly civil service institution.
Which reply is, in the words of the
Jester, "suficieney."
If the entire Pandora's box of school
gossip and pickering and alleged
favoritism should be opened to-mor-
row, it would reveal the fact that the
Washington schools are comparatively
free of petty scandal and pull and
that strictly @merit basis" prevails
not only in the appointment of all en-
ployes of the board, but in their pro-
motion and demotion. investigations
have been held in vain search for the
trail of school politics. 1t has never
been found, for such a trail does not
exist except in such isolated cases as
have cropped out from time to time
in the public prints, and which have
been promptly stamped out.
Capt Oyster is right in taking
umbEage to the Commissioners asser-
ton that 1T is more difficult in Wash
ington than elsewhere to procure the
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
mo USE BATHING"
SAY SCIENTISTS

Paris, April 2S-To take bath only
leaves ones skin in a dirtier condition
than before, from the medical point OF
view. This is the melancholy opinion
expressed by the leading micro-biolo-
gists Of the world. whose views are col
lected by lie Matin-
According TO these experts. who have
been making a number OF tests, the or
binary hath only multiplies the growth
of microbes, which always flourish on
even the heRlthiest skin.
DR.. Tsidaka, the famous Japanese
'bacteriologist, for example, recently had
three men bathe in clean water, one
after the other. the bathersJ each time
being thoroughly scrubbed with fresh
water All afterward were found to
have three to four times as many
nicrobe colonies on their backs as pre-
viously.
Other scientists agree with the Jap
anese professor.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29

In q sanatoriuru. but IT Is perfectly use-
less to look for him IN poorhouse-
America contains vast natural deposita
OF ambition. and when these were COM
bIned with immigration. the result was
the United States An American Is an
Engiisbman plus ambition An English
man hurries up his work 30 that he can
have tea at and get into his nannels
An American hurries UP his work so that
he can, take another mans job away
from him and do II before supper time
Ambition doesn't often make man more
pleasant to have around. but Il generally
makes him much more useful to his
widow.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
EDITORIAL FLASHES.
prom Various sanctumsl

ifrom VARIOUS sanct1fnsJ
DIR. Wiley, foe OF germs, is now quot
ed as the author of verses in praise
of kisses Is no one safe in this med
dlesome age?
Whenever there is nothing else to dc
in New York they investigate Thaw's
sanity.
College professor predicts that there
will be a war between England and
Germany just as soon as the Panama
Canal is finished. Now there comes the
serious question as to whether we shall
stop work on the canal or let England
and Germany fight.
We fail to notice any collection of
discarded headeSar in the Vice Presi-
DENTAL ring.
1t has been found possible TO trans
fer a live tooth from one mouth to
another II the owner can be induced
to spare it.
The Seattle burglar who drew the
line on pie probably did not want to
carry any extra weight in his effort to
get away.
Des Moines claims to, have the larg-
est birth rate in America. and It
wouldn't be surprising if commission
government advocates claimed the
credit for it.
We might forget that there was q
Turko-Italian. war il 1t were not for
the oceasional reports that stems are
being taken to end It L.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
TAFT-ICISMs.

Mr.. Taft has tired OF turning the other
cheek.
"I haven't begun TO fight yeti" shouts
the colonel. But Taft has!
Mr. Taft will have the ten delegates
from Rhode Island as well as the eight
from New Hampshire. He already has
Connecticut and six Of the eight from
Vermont Maine is RooseveIfs Massa-
chusetts is the last New England State
to select delegates.
The Iowa idea lightly turns to Taft.
Taft is more than half-convinced of
the desirability Of forming an AnanIas
Club OF his own.
Mr.. Taft to Mexico: Naughty. naughty;
nunl1ie whip.
The political news that came over the
wire yesterday had the old Taft smile
concealed between the lines. 1t was de-
cidedly anti-Teddy.
President Taft has at last begun to
show that he has bristles and has begun
to SAY things OF the colonel. 1t is up
to Taft to show fight. for the colonel has
shown him no mercy, but has been
biffing him right and left.
President Taft said that he was obliged
TO disregard his own feelings in the mat
ter. He also seems to have disregarded
those of the colonel.
Patient, good-natured Mr.. Taft has hit
hard at last. Roosevelt is fighting on
the defensive after a stiff blow right
over the heart, and his doughty oppo-
nent has knockout punch up his sleeve.
Taffs sad and painful duty has be-
gun, but what will IT be before # is
done?
In deciding that a President Of the
United States has right to speak out
from the shoulder when he is attacked,
Mr.. Taft has the support of recent and
conspicuous precedent
It took President Taft some time to
realize thst the public might be taking
seriously some of those things T. R.
said.
The Taft luck again. Col. Harvey and
Harper's Weekly have come out in sup
port OF him.
President Taft: Life is getting to be
just one State primary after another"
President Taft read some letters from
the colonel, and now there is a fine
chance for new member of the Ananiss
Club.
His dental smile may have been in,
evidence, but when he got through read
ing Taft's speech somebody's ears were
The optimistic Taft stin hopes that the
Republican elephant win trick" the
self-appointed ringmaster.
President Taft refers to the "Insincere
dsmagogue." Wonder who he is talking
Maryland viii remain true to the ideals
OF conservatism that have ever charac-
terized her history and line up for Presi-
dent Taft in opposition 70 the radicaHsm
espoused by Col Roosevelt
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
In south America.

From Judge.
First senorita-she belongs to the most
exclusive societies.
Second Senorita-Yes: she is a b. S. A.
of South American Peace
She can trace her descent from ancestors
who lived IN the two years VIC didn't
have any war.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
Peaee HAN Her YIctorie.

From FncE.
She-No. can never marry YOU, but
we can always be friends
He-WeIl. that Is one OF the advan.
Itzges Of not getting married
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
WALES MAY VISIT AMERICA.
Prince to Follow Grandfather's Ex
ample, Paris Hears.

ample, Paris HeaPs.
Paris. April 2s.-The Prince OF Wales,
who Is now in this city. will shortly visit
the United States. according to a report
In the Cri de Paris. The report says the
prince will stay here until well into the
summer. after which, in accordance with
plans mapped out by the late King Ed
ward. he will journey to America TO re-
ceive the guiding influence Of the West
ern world
His grandfather visited the United
States as the Prince Of Wales in the eos.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
Easy.

EASY.
Singing Of spring
Is the bard;
Finds it thing
Not 50 hard.
Singing OF spring
He has pat;
Birds on the wing,
And ell that
Singing OF spring
With viii;
creepers that cling
BY the rilL
Singing Of spring
Becomes tame
When you've the swing
OF the same.
Verse by the string
Right on tap:
Singing OF spring
Is snap!
Uncle PenAywise saysi
How long before baseball managers VIII
begin catering to the tired business mani
1t All Depends.
"And you think Jury viii give me
damages?"
The juni6r partner wasn't certain. He
called in the senior partner. who gazed
at the lady for some moments. Then
he went out and beckoned the junior
partner after him.
Don't take the case" he whispered.
THAT girl isn't good-looking enough"
ApriI 20 I'm History.
April o. 1sOe-wnliam Shakespeare opens
his Globe Theater summer stock COM
pany's season.
April q. u77-Richard the Hearted
requests his wife TO rivet button on his
sheet-iron coat. He is referred TO a
blacksmith, and leaves home in hun.
wouldn't DO.
do you keep up the illusion7"
What do you mean?"
DO you get your arms around your
wife's waist nowadays as you did when
you were first married?"
.'oh, no: 1t would only make her mad.
You see, her waist has increased seven
inches, while my arm remains the same
old length"
A Wet Spring.
April showers,
BY the way.
Oft hang over
Into May.
Decay of Chivalry.
Plague take that girl!'
MY friend. that is the most beautiful
girl in this town"
That may be. But she obstructs my
view Of second base"
Another Viewpoint.
More worry for US women"
How nowT'
The scientists say that women's feet
will get larger with each succeeding gen.
eratIon."
THAT may be true. But do not see
why those who are already provided with
feet need worry.'
A Lap Behind.
"She certainly looks away out of date"
''Yes; the poor think is still wearing
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
TAFT HITS BACK
HARD AT 7. R.

Continued from Pas. one.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
Germany launches Battle ship.

Berlin, April 2S.-Germany's thirteenth
lDreadnought. the Koenig Albert. was
launched at Danzig to-day In the pres
ence Of the King of Saxony.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
FRENCH BANDITS
SLAIN BY POLICE

centlnaea from Pass One.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
A Lap behind.

"she certainly looks away out Of date -
Yes; the poor think is still wearing
this years styles"
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29

President Taft refers to the "Insincere
dsmagogue." Wonder who he is talking
about?
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29

The optimistic Taft still hopes that tn,
Republican elephant win trick" IN,
self-appointed ringmaster.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
Another viewpoint.

More worry for US women"
How nowg'
The scientists say that women's feet
will get larger with each succeeding gen.
Grafton"
That may be true. But I do not see
why those who are already provided with
feet need worry"
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
wouldn't Do.
Decay of ChIraIrr.

Plague take that girl"
My friend. that is the most beautiful
girl in this town"
That may be- But she obstructs my
view Of second base"
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29

Maryland viii remain true to the ideals
OF conservatism that have ever charac-
terized her history and line up for Presi-
dent Taft in opposition 70 the radicaHsm
espoused by Col Roosevelt.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29

His dental smile may have been IL
evidence, but when he got through read
ing Taft's speech somebody's ears wer,
burning.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
Uncle Pennywise saysi
II Am Depends.

How long before baseball managers VIII
begin catering TO the tired business mani
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29

President Taft: Life is getting to be
just one State primary after another"
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
April 20 I'm History.

April q. lsoe-wflliam Shakespeare opens
his Globe Theater summer stock COM
pany's season.
April q. 1lT7-Richard the LION Hearted
requests his wife TO rivet button on his
sheet-iron coat. He is referred TO a
blacksmith, and leaves home in a hun.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29

President Taft read some letters from
the colonel, and now there is a fine
chance for new member of the Ananias
Club
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29

The Taft luck again. Col. Harvey and
Harper's Weekly have come out in sup
port of him.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29

The political news that came over the
wire yesterday had sthe old Taft smile
concealed between the lines. 1t was de-
cidedly anti-Teddy.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29

On another occasion. Curry was sup
posed to have been killed In a fight on
the plains and his obituary was flashed
over the country.
Then, at the battle of San Mateo, in
the Philippines. where Gen. Lawton was
killed. all Curry's company perished and
he was supposed to have been included.
But the F1lipinos liked Curry. and they
purposely allowed him to escape He had
to go without food for two or three days,
but merely frightened his belt and kept on
his way.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-29

The Seattle burglar who drew the
line on pie probably did not want to
carry any extra weight in his effort to
get away.
Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1909-1915, 1912-06-14

Lake, N. d., says: Il have taken
Doan's Kidney Pills and am in a posi-
ton to acknowledge their value. Last
spring I had various symptoms of kid
ney complaint that annoyed me. The
use Of one box Of Doan's Kidney Pills
brought entire relief. This remedy is
entitled to all the praise it has re-
ceived." @
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents. Foster.Milburn Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United
States. 3sE NJ KS. w..
Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1909-1915, 1912-06-14

Atlanta has sold Catcher cMurray
to Rochester
The Giants have released Pitchers
Evan Evans and Jack Ferrell to DIAL
las. 3tS II
Cy Young is d sporting editor "a a
Boston paper. Now look for some real
dope on baseball. 5s5 "a .ig
4 Art Brouthers. last year id the Tri.
State and New York State, has been
signed with Yoingst own
[ G. Manager Harry w olverton will keep
himself In trim in; ord Ter to act the:role
Of utility inaelder for the Highland
ars. $5ss IN 5fstss Il $Iss$
Frank Schultz OF the Cubs, has
made 4S home runs of So pitchers
since he has been In the National
league. 81 8 t3 ri Ri
Tesreau. the Giants big pitcher, is
the only exponent Of the spitball on
| the The \ New York team. He's a hard man
to catch. n. Fl s;5's
Otto Jordan, purchased by Chatta-
nooga from Atlanta, has been made
field captain Of the Lookouts By. Man
ager Smith. X n f,.g
M Manager Dahlen Of the Brooklyns
predicts that Allen, his $4,000 left
handler. will be a sensation in the Ma
tional league. {, IL #ls s553E
New Orleans figures that It Is to get
Grover Land from Toledo, the Mud
Hens in turn to get another catcher
from Cleveland. 81 :s3 !.
Bob Bescher will give Ty Cobb a
battle for base stealing this year. The
speedy giant OF the Reds Is pilfering
the bases every day. 5t 4 3z "a ,5.3 "A, q
$ Bill Dahlen says he has powerful
staff Of pitchers with Rucker, Barger,
Stack, Knetzer. Ragon, Schardt and
Allen to depend upon. .:.
"Ace" Stewart, one-time member Of
the Chicago National league club, and
q native Of Terre Haute, Ind, died in
Terre Haute at the age Of forty-two,
Gipe and Bonner, two Athletic re
cruit pitchers. sent to New Orleans by
Manager Mack, went with a strong
string attached and may be recalled
next fall. si Ii II. u IS .$ SAG A NJ .is "a.
Manager McGraw has sold Pitchers
Evans and Farrell to Dallas Of the
Texas league, Evans was with Dallas
last season and Farrell 4 was with
Spartanburg. 81 Il ..5s5
FL Clark Griffith may have another
pitching star on his staff to be q fit
! Pide partner Of Walter Johnson If
Cashion, the Senator's young twirler,
comes up to his spring promise.