The Washington herald., 1912-03-16
COLLEGE TO TEACH !.
ART OF COURTSHIP
Is Seriously Advocated by a Boston
Clergyman.
By DOROTHY DIX.


ton clergyman advocates some philan-
thropist starting a properly equipped and
endowed college where people can be
taught the at of courtship."
He must be awfully old and unat-
tractIve." commented the Very Pretty
Girl
Why" inquired the Spinster.
'Oh. nothing" replied the Very Pretty
Girl. Il only meant that hadn't noticed
any need-I mean. I hadn't observed any
lack. no. l don't mean that either. What
was going to say was that II there
vas anything the matter with the love-
making now I-er-er'-
Take your time" urged the Spinster.
laughing, make a fresh start at the sub
ject."
Well anyway" said the Very Pretty
Girl, lit would be horrid being made
lcve 10 by rule. and having a courtship
worked out like a geometric problem, or
an algebraic equation. or whatever they
call those dreadful things. Fancy a man
who had graduated at Cupid's ColIege-I
surpoSe that's what they would call the
place-making love to you.
Just as you were beginning to get
thrilled a cod chill would strike down
our spine as you remembered that he
nad rehearsed that very scene with some
young and charming professoress. And
she's put him wise to the psychological
moment to take your hand and Just how
hard TO squeeze H. Ughr'
which Method Would school Pur-
suer
Il wonder" mused the Spinster, IF In
the college OF courtship they would teach
the outh Of the land to make love after
the old classical. romantic school. or the
modern quick lunch method? It would
be q case OF Romeo and the guitar versus
Charlie and the golf sticks Would the
professors teach their young charges all
for love and the world well lost or that
the Marriage OF Convenience Is really the
prtferred matrimonial risk after ALL and
that while beauty fades, and sentiment
gels the gliding knocked on. a comfort
able bank account grows dearer and
dtarer as the years go by-'
The Very Pretty Girl shook her head.
Fancy how 1t would work outr" she ex-
claimed ''World the teacher say. The
class in first love will now come up and
recite,' or would she say, The class In
the second stage OF the engagement will
repeat that kiss, and do II a little slower,
ard throw a little more warmth into itZ
VIII Mr.. Jcnes be given demerits be-
when he popped the question? Or viii
Miss Smith be reprimanded because she
wasn't coy enough in leading Mr.. Brown
Up to the proposing point?
Il see a great field OF usefulness for
such q school. And one thing ! hope
they'll pay special attention TO, and that
is TO teach men how to pop the question.
Most Of the men offer themselves to
you now with an cir that indicates that
they know you'll die Of 10y. and that
you'll bless heaven for having bestowed
such unparalleled luck upon you. They
Seem TO say by their manner:
I know there isn't a woman living 7
couldn't have for the asking, but you ara
a good little thing, and as near worthy
as any one know, so III bestow myself
upon you. and hope you are properly
grateful for it.
Just compare that with the way
Romeo did It. I never hear him say,
oh. that were a glove upon that hand.
that might kiss that cheek that
don't think that IL were Juliet would
pitch myself over the balcony to hear
him say It over again"
Not suited to Present Conditions.
But you wouldn't" Jeered the Spin
ster; you could not resist saying to
him, oh, come on" Romance doesn't
thrive under present conditions. Suppose
some modern Leander should swim the
Hudson because the ferries had stopped
running and he was bound to see his best
girl. Would we hold him up as an ex-
ample and exploit him as a hero? Not
much. The people would probably arrest
aim as he arose dripping from the water,
Ind the newspapers would head their ac-
count OF the romantic deed: Another
-hump.'"
We'll" said the Very Pretty Girl .T
ion't think much Of that preachers idea
II College Of Courtship. I should b
! little suspicious Of the man who knew
low to make love too glibly. II would
ook to me as II he had too much prac-
ice. Personally I prefer the article In
which the man halts. and suffers and
Itammers. and threatens to choke on his
Adams apple And as for It's affect on a
woman. when she loves q man and he
ellis her that she's II to him she Is
soing to think that his eloquence has got
Patrick Henry discounted, no matter
low he has mumbled out his ssnti-
nents."
"And no College OF courtship can throw
my light on how to pick out the right
lind Of a husband or wife" said the
;pinster; nobody knows who is going
o suit whom until after they have tried
,eing married-and then the knowledee
'omes about q couple Of years too late to
'e OF any advantage"
WELL" said the Married Woman, 'ff
hey do start college Of loyenaking I
lope to goodness they viii open a post
'raduate course for husbands. know
OF OF them who need to rub up on the
1T Of saying nice things to their wives
When washing oilcloth. q tablespoonful
n pafnter's size added tn q natfS,tf 80