davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12
Where the Laugh Comes In
Tom, Tom, the rich mans son, Bought an aeroplane for fun He sailed moment on the breeze The notice reads: "No flowers, pleas
 Milxuo1La Capk,y


 He sailed moment on the breeze The notice reads: "No flowers, please. '"
 Milwaukee Sentinel No. I shall never marry, " sighed the old bachelor. Thespinster gazed at him scornfully.
 "You coward !" she hissed.-Phlla, delphia Record.
 "Scribbler must have unusual powers of imagination
 Yes otherwise he would not regard most of his writings as poetry. ''--Buf- falo Express.
 Faint de time he loses goiu' fishin', said Uncle Eben, "dat counts up as much as de time he wastes tellin' about it afterward. "-Washington Star. You can't judge a man by his True" re piled Miss Cayenne. Boston, once the home of the blue. stockings IS now headquarters for the Red Sox. Washington-St
 Mrs. Kelly "This neighborhood seems bit noisy, Mrs. Flynn"
 Mrs. Flynn--"Yis. tn only time it's quiet here is whiu the elevated train goes by and drowns tn noise l"-Punch Muggins-''I suppose it is human na- ture to sympathize with the under dog. ]" Bugglns-"Yes, especially if we are pretty sure he is going to get on top. i" Philadelphia Record.
 Ardent suitor-"I lay my fortune at your feet"
 Fair lady-"Your fortune I didn't know you had one." Ardent suitor-" We'll, it isn't much of a fortune, but it will look large beside those tiny feet. ."-Boston Transcript
 "Well, Binksy, have good tour in your new carl" asked Hickenlooper.
 Pretty good," said Binksy. How did you find the roads up in Maine ?" asked Hickenlooper.
 By following the ruts, said Binksy." i" -Harper's Weekly.
 Hey, waiter I want to order steak i; there's none on the bill of fare"
 ''We are not serving steak today, sir. You see, we have a new cook, and he has not as yet arranged for his bond" Louisville Courier Journal
 From @ notice in a village Post office : Host Cameo ring. Finder, if bring ing same to Laburnum Cottage, will be eff not rewarded) heartily thanked" :" It's nice to think that at the worst he won't be unished.-Punch.
 Wife-"John, which will you have 1? Iced tea, bouillon, cold coffee, grape juice or lemonade ?
 Husband-"Neither. Haven't you got something to drink ?"-Cipped.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12
THE BUSINESS MEMS ASsO-
 CATION.

The Canaan Business Mems Associa- tion will begln the year 1913 with q thew deal' and practically an entire new board of officers. President Lyles declined a reelection, after having served several terms, and A. w. Hols- apple was chosen as his successor. w. A. Wright succeeds Vice. President George $. Fuller, who retires, from choice, and N. Watson Hardenbergh succeeds E. s. Roberts in his former position as secretary. Allyn Fuller is wisely retained as treasurer.
 The personnel of this new official board is good All are men of character, progressiveness and public spirit, and under their direction the Canaan Busi- ness Mems Association should go for ward to the achievement ot result fo1 the good of the town. President Hols- apple, though comparatively 8 new. conner, has identified himself with local affairs and taken an active interest in the progress and welfare of the com. munity. and has been a valuable and helpful member in the ranks of the Busi ness Mems Association. As the admin. istrative head of that organization he may be depended upon to use his best endeavors to promote it's interests and enhance it's usefulness as a benefcent force in the community, and we ,bespeaB for him the cordial, earnest, active and moral support of the members.
 Under the administration of the retiring president. Lyles. the Association accom- plished much, of which the town has cause to be proud. Besides the material and manifest Improvements and acquisi- tions-of which the well equipped and efficient fire company is probably the most important-and which have been the direct result of agitation and work on the part of the Business Mems Asso- citation, there has come broader and better spirit of brotherliness and toler-
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12
Monster of Worst Tyne.

The confession wrung from Frank Hickey, arrested at Whiting, N J., that he murdered and mutilated little boy at Lackawanna, N. Y, and another boy Tn New York city, reveals the worst type of moral degenerate, a monster that so- ciety must forthwith get rid of. Hickey cOnfesses that he committed a third mur- der of the same Tevolting character and attempted to commit other murders. A chronic inebriate, Hickey attributes his mania for child murder and mutilation to that as a cause. There are thousands of inebriates and only one Hickey. Inebriety merely developed the abnormal instincts of the monster. He was de. generate before he became an inebrIate. But the murders were not the acts of a drunken man. The cunning and address shown by him in their commission be- louged to one in the full possession of his senses The letters written by him that led to his identification may readily be attributed to Nan inebriate condition. The dual character of Jekyl and Hyde Is singularly presented in Hickey, who, when not in his murderous mood, won confidence and favor as an amiable and useful man, even in the camp of in- ebriates. es.-HartfOrd Post.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12

little home of his own. Gets up early in the morning sometimes. Shines in so- ciety and a natural born bass drum musi- clan.
 Almerin Gillette Not much use for 1 Cupid to go shooting arrows there, but well worth trying for Never got mad in his life, but has no patience with the suffrage cause.
 John Robinson. Paddles his own canoe, but it would easily and safely carry two if he would move up a little. There isn't a handler man, about the house, than he.
 Ivanhoe Scott, Cut out for n family man, but will not do so. Likes ladies' society, but unable to make choice. If this Leap Year doesn't anchor him he's likely to go Scott free four years more.
 Dennis O'Neil. Has the temperament and attributes of d domestic man, but doesn't domest worth a cent. Will have to be approached warily, as he's naturally suspicious.
 Lyman Howe. Sedate and serious, but appreciates the things that make life worth living. Companionable and worth setting a cap for.
 Howard Lathrop. Industrious young man who can make himself useful any where. Always cheerful, and the girl who gets him will never threaten to 20 back to mamma.
 Sam Lermond, SkilIful cooper, but refuses to be cooped, himself. Would make life pleasant dream for the right one-but where's the right one? Whati
 Leonard Caldwell. Excellent habits, considering his profession. Quiet in demeanor, and could talk interestingly of his travels-but he won't. Some day he'll meet his fate. Then he'll get his.
 George Heffernan The quiet kind you can't tell by his looks what he's thinking about, but presumably it isn't matrimony. However, when he makes up his mind to take the step hc'll take 1t, but probably not before then,
 Bert Brewer. In spite of his smiling, cherubic countenance, he has escaped the yoke thus far, but he's taking some 1 chances, and when Cupid does plunk one of those arrows into him he'll sur render all in a heap.
 Sam Siegel. Bashful young man of rare accomplishments. Dances like an angela dancing angeI-and isn't q bit ticklish. Never told a lie in his life when it wasn't absolutely necessary. lust the right age.
 On concluding the reading MT. Ives asked that the secretary be instructed to keep the list out of his newspaper report of the meeting, as he "didn't want all these bachelors and widowers coming after him with brickbats," The secre- tary was instructed accordingly.
 Ed. Warner moved that the same com. mittee be ordered to compile list of the eligible young and old maids and widows, in like manner, to be submitted at the next meeting. So voted, and the meet ing adjourned.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12

ance between fellow men, neighbors and competing business men; civic pride has strengthened and broadened there is less of the chronic disposition to sheer at every well-meant effort to ''boost' the town, and more of the readiness to encourage public improvements and help to keep the wheels of progress go ing. So much for the influence of the Business Mems Association and the sensi- b'r policy of getting together and pulling together
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12
NORTH CANAAN HAS

A Apopulatiop Jf2,171, (census of 1910.D Two rairoaus.
 National and Savings Banks. Trolley railroad extending through the Berkshires to Pittsfield and beyond. Up-to-date High School and frst-class school system.
 Five churches.
 First-class hotel. Fire department. including chemical en- zine.
 Ten miles of State Roads. Electric light and power plant, Complete Sewer System. Never-failing water supply and the best water in the state.
 Wide-awake Business Mems Association. Extensive lime And iron industries. Fratern lI and benefit societies. Brass band,
 Up-to-date department stores. Pure air and wholesome climate.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12
THE EMS, AGENTS

\ Extra copies of The News are on sale at thu officeof publication and at
 Dempsey's Drag Store, Canaan, EgglestoE's Drug Store, Sharon, y Post Office. East Canaan.
 D. H. Oakes Store. LakevilP,
 Post Office Falls Village.
 George T. Johnsons Store, Norfolk, F. H. Smith ,S Co.'S Store Ashley Falls. W. D. French, Sheffield, Mass, A. l.. Dickinson. Salisbury.
 J. w. Morgan, Great Harrington, Mass.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12
THURSDAY. DECEMBER 12, 1919

No man is so foolish but may give another good counsel sometimes and no man Is so wise but may easily err, if he will take no others counsel but his own.-Ben Jonson,
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12

President-elect Wilson is to have "a fifty pound Kentucky turkey for his Christmas dinner. It is a gift from an admirer in the Blue Grass State who thought it highly proper that the demo- cratic president-elect should have part of his Christmas feast from the south.- Hartford Post.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12
We own the U. s. A.

Says the Waterbury American "Gov. Baldwin has named J. Henry Roraback as delegate to the National Federal Aid Good Roads Convention, to be held in Washington beginning March 6. Per haps he thinks J. Henry would like to see how Washington looks under Demo, cratic administration, the convention coming only two days after Gov. Will sons inauguration, or perhaps he expects the republican state chairman will be able, by attending the convention, to get some of the national federal aid" for use in Connecticut, to make our good roads better"
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12

A Amovementto recall Mayor Alexander of Los Angeles, which was undertaken last week under the recall law, has been abandoned. There are limits beyond which even the people of that very self assertive city will not go, and the. use of the recall every day is among the mat ters that grow tiresome after a while.- Bridgeport Standard.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12
LIFE'S ASCENT
BY EMMA RODEMEYER WAIT

It was meant from the beginning,
 That throughout this earthly life, We should not attain perfection,
 But be in the ceaseless strife. Life was meant to be an effort
 Till we reach the final goal And these earthly trials soften,
 And they purify the soul. Iris by them we scale the ladder
 Leading upward to the height, Until vision is perfected
 In the Land of pure delight
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12

Joe Dutton, bright young democratic lawyer and former newspaper man, of Bristol, will be candidate for clerk of the Senate when the legislature con- venes. As the new Senate will be demo- cratic, the custom of promoting the house clerk to the clerkship of the Sen ate is likely to receive check, as the present house clerk is a republican who cannot hope to be accepted by the demo- cratic Senate; and Joseph stands fine show.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12

Ettor and Giovannitti and Caruso would never have visited the town of Lawrence, and undertaken to aid the strikers to better their conditions, had the attitude of the mill owners and opera tors been actuated by a decent view of human rights. The latter are more re- sponsible for what happened there than the three men who have now recovered their liberty.-New Haven Journal-Cour ieY&
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12
WRITE LETTER ABOUT TT

Communications on subjects of general inter est to The News readers are invited, but nc attention will be paid to anonymous letters.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12

Subscribers are requested to notify the pub sb CT promptly of any failure to receive papers egularly, changes of residence etc
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12
AS AN ADVERTISING MEDIUM

The News should appeal with special force to the sagacious business nan.
 It has an extensive circulation in Western Connecticut and especially throughout Litch- field County and Southern Bc~!lShire.
 It has competent staff of wide-awake cor respondents in the various towns to report the local doings each week. and goes into the homes and is perused by the entire families of the the long-hea led advertiser most desires to reach.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12
MISCELLANEOUS

AR. EATEN, opticau of TOrriugton, !onn. will be at The Ganhed" hotel the first Mon day and Tuesday afternoons of each month If unable to call send postal. Consultation free S. k. STARK, Nurse, Canaan Telephone l5.2 LOST-Two CrOwbars from Chemical Engine and Hose Cart of the Canaan llusc Co. One painted red and the other black, Return Co A. J. Wigglesworth, Canaan, Gem.
 PEABODY-0pth lnic optician will be at Mrs, M. A. Halls, Falls Village, Dee. II and l2 THE wAKE-ROBIN INN-of Lnk,, tllo, offers to help'you solve your Christmas problems in it's Gift Shop, There you will find craftsman and attractive Christmas letters and putt cards.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12

Hurrah for the bald heads At last they are coming into their owD.-Litch- field Inquirer.
 Only to d limited extent. The bald heads are combing into their own just around the edges.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12
PASSING THE PIE.

The matter of distributing the pie is already causing lot of grumbling ln the ranks of the uuterrifled and unsatlS- fled. State Treasurer elect D. 5. Roberts is letting it be known that he does not intend to demoralize nor jeOpardize the efficiency of his department by firing the experienced chief subordinates in responsible positions, no matter what their politics, and filling their places with green help. This decision is nightly displeasing to a hungry horde of democratic patriots who are yearning to give the state the benefit of their ser vices ill the treasurer's office; and the disappointed patriots Cminously predict that at the close of Treasurer Robertss S term, hls political future will be behind him
 On the other hand. Comptroller-elect Danny Dunn, in pursuance of his affirm ed belief that to the victors belong all the spells, is credited with the purpose to make clean sweep Tn his office and replace all the republican subordinates with democrats. But this plan is no more conducive of serenity of mind to the worthy comptroller-elect than the less radical one of Treasurer Roberts, for the reason that 800 hungry aspirants are clamoring ut his door for the half dozen clerlcal berths he has to bestow, and the 494 leftouts will sharpen their scalping knives for the ringlets that adorn Danny's classic head. when the next democratic state convention assem- bles.
 Verify victory is not tLe ending of the politician s perplexities. It's more often the beginning of real trouble.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12

We frankly confess open sympathy with the following SC timent from the Woodbury Reporter, and cheerfully com mend it to the Canaan croaker who slts back and sneers at his own town and at those citizens who try to improve it :
 If you don't like the town you live in go out to the edge of it and butt your head against it a few times. If it fails to fall down, and you still cherish your dislike, why, move out to some other town. But, remember this, wherever you go you will not get rid of yourself. "
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12

Get Together. Pull Together. Many a public benefit is forfeited by lack of united effort.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12

The Hartford Times thus compliments disting uished member
 Editor George Woodruff of the Litch- field Inquirer has compiled for the Bald Head club sprightly yell which con- cludes:
 We own the U. 5. A.
 For we have come to stay. Showing that Editor Woodruff, who always wears carnation in his lapel, insists upon remaining undaunted even if he has to wear jack rose under his hat
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12
Cent-a-Word Advertisements
 Minimum Charge 25 Cents
FOR SALE

FOR SALE One new gasoline engine. 8 h, D.. with wood saving outfit, or exchange for live stock. D. D. Corners, Canaan, Conn, R. F, Dt WANTED Standing Timber. Pine, Hemlock,
  FOR SALE-One new Upright Piano slightly damaged case, sells for S905 new, now S250. Call in and see. l. P. Hornbeck. Falls Village, Ct. FOR SALE-Ten swarms of Bees. k. C. Burk- ett, Falls Village. FOR SALE A good Six Octave Paror Organ. Inquire at the house of Mir. George Dodge, Canaan, Conn.
Connecticut western news., 1912-12-12
. WANTED

WANTED-l5 900 cords of lime kiln wood
 Address, Box 202, East Canaan, Conn. WANTED-Sales agent for Canaan. High grade Piano line. Write k. w. Gray, Box HIS, Hartford Conn.
 WANTED-Good strong woman for house work. Mrs. F. s. Willard, Falls Village, Conn.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1912-03-22
DID NOT REACH ANNAPOLIS.

The members of the committee on
streets OF the City Council did not
reach Annapolis yesterday, as had
been planned. Although prepara-
tions had been made for the trip by the
members of the committee, Alderman
Kenneth w. Ogdep was the only MEM
Der who made the start. He did not,
however. 60 further than Washington:
He supposed the other members would
board the train at certain points as it
passed through this city, but upon
reaching Washington found be was
alone He called a member OF the
committee over the telephone and was
told the visit to the Maryland capital
had been postponed on account OF the
unpropitious weather. Representatives
OF the company who desired the Alex
andrians to inspect certain process
for the prosecution of street work
which they desired to be adopted In
Alexandria were at the electric railway
station with two taxicabs in which to
TRANSPORT the members Of the members
OF the street committee. As the other
members failed to appear, they insisted
on carrying Mr.. Ogden to certain
poiots in Washington in order that be
might inspect their work. He &C.
cepted the invitation and was the
guest OF the company for several hours.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1912-03-22
LOCAL BREVITIES

A marriage license was Issued IN
Washington yesterday to John w.
Manerin and Dora l.. Johnson, both
OF Alexan dria.
): There were no cases on the docket
OF the Police Court this morning.
John w. Green and wife have sold
to Herbert T. and Walter M. Beach, a
lot on the south side Of Princess street,
between Royal and Fairfax.
Mrs. Annie G. Schwab and husband,
have sold to Mrs. Myrtle G. Hall, q
house and lot on the east side OF Eair-
fax street. between Duke and Wolfe.
In the Circuit Court for the city IN
vacation today, the will Of the late
Captain William R. Taylor was admit
ted to probate. He leaves all bis prop
G .ty 10 his wife, Annie M. Taylor, ab-
solutely, and she qualified as execu-
trix.
The condition of Wayne Bynrsa well
known resident OF the First ward is re-
garded as most critical.
The kid works at the foot OF Prince
street are now in operation. Kid and
goat skins are being tanned at this
plant.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1912-03-22
Convent Destroyed.

Jamaica, L. l., March 22.-Thirty
girl students from various parts of
the United States were rescued in
their night clothing today, by good
work on the part of the six sisters in
charge, when the Roman Catholic
Church was damaged and the convent
of St. Boniface was destroyed by fire,
The girls were routed from their beds
formed into line and carrying only
wraps hastily seized, were marched
into an open snow covered field near
by. They were cared for by neigh
bors.
The fire spread rapidly. Fifteen
minutes after it was discovered the
entire structure was blaze.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1912-03-22
Nine-Tenths of Town Witnesses

Wilmington, DEL, March 22.-Nine
tenths of the town of Woodland, Del,
has been summoned as witnesses and
the remaining tenth will 60 along as
spectators at hearing before Magis-
trate Stengle at Seaford TOMORROW
afternoon, the case arising from a
pitch battle between residents Of the
former town. AS result of the pros
pective exodus, Mayor Luther Moore,
of Woodland has announced that all
public buildings will be closed for the
day.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1912-03-22
PREPARING FOR VISITS.
Jackson Council of Jr. o. A. NJ.
Held Important Meeting Last
Night and Initiate Men,
hers

A well attended meeting of James
w. Jackson Council No. 55, Jr. 0. U.
A. NJ, was held last night at their
hall. corner of Prince and Royal Sts.,
at which much business of Importance
to the members was transacted. Sew
eral candidates were initiated and
several applications were received
from prospective members.
The initiatory WORK was con-
ferred in accordance with the new
ritual, and the thorough manner in
which the members have familiarized
themselves with this work in the
short tine in which it has been in use,
was the subject of muc7l comment by
the visitors from several other Coun-
ellis, who were present. The Enter
tainment Committee reported that on
next meeting night they expect to
have quite an elaborate program ar
ranged for the entertainment of the
members. This Committee consists
of four members, all Of whom are ex-
cellent musicians, and something of
a treat is therefor promised those
who attend
R. L. Merchant, chairman of the
Good of the Order Committee, report
ed that all arrangements have been
made for the proposed visits to Ii
berty Bell Council of Washington and
St. Elmo Council of ST. Elmo. The
remarks of Mr.. Thomas Travers, Dep
uty State Councillor Thomas F.
Dawson and State Council Trustee
J. F. Pettey, as we'll as those of W.
+. Baker, Sr., wel= all interesting
and instructive, and we're listened to
with much interest, each speaker ell
letting an abundance of applause as
he closed his address.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1912-03-22
RESOLUTIONS OF RESPECT.

At meeting of the board of direc'
tors Of the Alexandria National Bank
held at its banking house in Alexan'
dria, Virginia, on March 21st, 1912
it was resolved as follows:
First, that this board has heard
with the profoundest sorrow of the
death of Mr.. B. F. Board, one Of the
directors of the Alexandria Nation
al Bank.
Second, that in our association with
Mr.. Board as director of this bank
we were impressed with his uniform
courtesy, his clear Judgment, and hi:
devotion to duty in the performance
,of his obligations as director.
Third, that in the death of Mr.
Board this bank has lost most valu
ed friend and supporter, and this com
munity an interprising and public
spirited citizen, honorable and upright
in all the relations of life, and one
who was loved, admired and respect
ed for his noble qualities of mind ant
heart, and whilst he has passed in th1
meridian of life to eternal rest, ye'
we sincerely mourn his loss and shal
treasure his memory with lasting al
fection.
Fourth, that we tender to Mr.
Boards widow and other members O.
his family our profoundest sympathy
in their great bereavement.
Fifth, that a copy of these resolu
tions be spread on our minutes an'
that copy be sent to Mr.. Boards
family, and published in the Alexan
dria Gazette and the Alexandria New