Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-04
g i Xl$6P@MER E7
N.Y. by Roy .Moulton. q

boss plowed a furrow clear down to the
Golden Nugget saloon through force Of
habit and Anne has been pinched for
rippin' UP the rud.
One good thing about the aero
plane will be that the delicious boquet
OF the gasoline will rise in the air in
stead of lingerin' around on the ground
as 1t does after the oatmobiles.
Uncle Ezra Harkins Is thinkin' some
of takin' lessons in cartoon work, as
there is a few politicians around here
that he wants to get ever with, but the
probability is that about all Uncle Ez
Will ever be able to draw will be his
pension.
l never see a real man yet that used
perfumery.
A Teller from q small town will al
ways foller a band or a fire milne.
When the wimmen git the ballot most
every one of EN- will have two votes
her own n her husbands.
There are q lot Of spring hats that
should be sprung.
Three fellers who never seem anxi-
Gus to nave a man save his money fer
a rainy day are the butcher. the baker
and the candlestick maker
l v yet heered a Teller say a word
again his own automobile, for he is
gen'ally anxious to sell it and git an
other kind.
So fur as versatility is concerned
there amt no month in the year that
has got any thing on April.
One thing we will never see is a law
suit over the will left by a poet.
Miss Lutte Perkins says the lips that
touch ticker shall never touch her'n;
but a Teller would hat to be soused be-
fore he would want to.
FROM THE HICKEYvILLE CLAIR
ION.
Elmer Jones has returned from the
races down to the city. 1t took him
there, but it took him two days and a
half to get back. Elmer says it's a
wonder the railroad companies wouldn't
arrange their ties different. They are
too close together to take one at u step
and too far apart to take two.
Hold Smith and Hank Purdy expect
to go to the circus down to tho city.
Bud Hicks expected to go with them,
but he fell off'n the wagon so hard last
week.. that he won't be able to be
around for 80 days.
Anse F'risby says his oatmobile al
a runs fine when he is in it alone,
but when he is tryin' to show 1t off 1t
develops everything from the blind
staggers to the whooping cough.
William Hilliker, u grocer. has
give $500 to have a stained glass vim
der put in the church in his memory,
0AS oIOOAIIo SdyS S1UdI SCCIIlS
like a waste of money as Williams
memory will probably be stained
enough so that folks will remember 1t
without picterin' 1t out on q winder.
William weighs in his hand with ev-
cry pound Of tea, which is cheaper than
givin' souvenirs.
Amos Hanks, our popular livery,
feed and sales stables proprietor. also
undertaken and folding chair for fun,
erals says since the advent OF the oat-
mobile. his livery business Is just about
ruined: and he has to depend on the
funerals for a livin'. But there is one
sweetly solemn thought and that is that
SO long as the oatmobiles keep busy
the undertaken business will be good.
~
THE PICNIC SEASON.
Oh Joy. oh rapture, children dear,
The picnic season now Is here,
So telephone n get the bunch,
And pack the old dyspepsia lunch.
Dill pickles. doughnuts. hard boiled
Cold pork and beans and chicken
legs,
Potato salad. cottage cheese;
Let all the folks bring what they
please:
or course. they surely will all bring
Again the same old sort OF thing.
Get on an interurban car,
And ride. 1t matters not how far.
And see II o can find a place
Where trespassers they do o chase.
Desert o hot and sultry fats,
Get out among the flies and gnats,
Mosquitoes. chiggers and the like,
The bugs that never go on strike.
Get all the rest that you can take
BY pulling kids out Of the lake
A mile away or some such thing.
And long before the hour Of 10
Begin to long for home again.
Participate In family jars
And run four miles to catch the cars.
At midnight's hour or thereabout:
Get home hot. cross and tired out.
THINGS WE COULD LIVE
WITHOUT.
Those windbells on the neighbours
front porch.
The gentleman who calls to collect
the installments on that encyclopedias
we bargained for in 1857.
Those midnight telephone calls.
ma - ---A A q -s>-A - $500 A.