Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1912-11-15
MA PUT INDIAN
SIGN ON CUPID
BY LAURA TURNER.

der that Heinz fellow last Sunday
night" laughed the girl with the exag-
gerated psyche knot. "He won't come
incoming around my sister Bertha any
more. "She giggled as she tucked in
few stray hairs that had curled over
her collar and surveyed her pleasing
reflection In the mirror above the lava
tory.
How did she squelch him, Annie?"
asked the sleepy looking blonde,
stretching her wet handkerchief across
the mirror to dry 1t.
well, Bertha's had an awful case
on Heinzy for quite while. He's
widower, with a boy about five years
old, but Bertha said she didn't care
for she liked him anyway. She used
to rave about him until she made
ma and me tired. l could see from
the start that ma didn't have much
use for him, and she warned Bertha
that all he was looking for was some
body to keep house and cook his meals
for him and take care of that kid of
his.
Bertha said ma was wrong, that
he was head over ears in love with
her, and she wouldn't hear word
,Bertha's fireside companion, because
he never took her anywhere, but just
sat around and acted as though he
was afraid to spend a nickel.
Last Sunday morning Bertha went
out TO the kitchen and asked ma If she
would let her have the Heinz fellow to
supper that evening. She coaxed
around until ma finally said she could
ask him If she wanted to, but you
could see that ma wasn't at all crazy
about having him come.
after Bertha had gone out and ma
and I were doing up the work, all Of
a sudden | saw that ma had an idea.
She chuckled to herself the rest of
the morning, but she wouldn't let me
in on the joke. When l asked her
about 1t she just told me l would have
to walt and keep my eyes open and l
would see something funny.
THAT evening Bertha said she want.
ed to get supper all by herself and
show HeinZy what a grand cook she
was. Ma says All right, IL you want
to get job as housekeeper, of course
you must give your future boss sam.
pie of your cooking With that she
went upstairs.
After a while ma came down again
and asked Bertha how she was get.
ting along. Bertha said that everything
was on the stove ready to dish up, and
would ma watch things while she hus.
tied upstairs in order to primp up a
bit?
ma said she would, 80 Bertha beat
1t upstairs to doll up for Heinzy.
when we all filed up to the dining
room and sat down things looked good
to me. While ma was bringing in the
dishes she says to Heinzy: I want
you to know, Mr.. Heinz, that Bertha
cooked every bit Of the supper tonight,
SO If you like it you'll have to give
her all the credit for it.
Heinzy looked over at Bertha with
fat, contented smile and tucked a
napkin under his double chin. Then
he took a bite of biscuit and next |
saw him. look all around to see If any
body was watching him as he rolled 1t
out of his mouth into his hand and
laid it carefully on his plate. I began
to get suspicious, so l took bite of
biscuit just to see. Say, 1t was about
the awfulest tasting thing I ever ate!
ut was positively green inside!
Bertha had used soda instead of bak-
ing powder, and plenty of 1t, too, and
the biscuits were simply terrible!
II copied Heinzy and got rid of my
bite quick as l could and took a swal-
low of coffee to get the taste out Of
my mouth. Say! The coffee was so
weak it was just like water! / look
ed over at ma and her face was as red
as a beet, she was trying 80 hard to
keep from laughing.
II knew pretty well then who had
queered the supper. Ma must have
put soda in the baking powder can SO
Bertha would be sure to get it, and
probably she put plenty of hot water
In the coffee pot after Bertha had
gone upstairs.
II was curious to know what else
ma had done, SO helped myself to a
chop. Salty! 1t was worse than a
mackerel that hadn't been soaked
overnight! Why, l felt picked in
brine after swallowed it! Iglanced
over at Heinzy. He was the glummest
looking somebody you ever saw!
Every now and then he looked at Ber-
tha with frown blanker than a
thunder cloud.
When we came to pie found that
ma had even switched pies on poor
Bertha. The under crust was Just like
soft rubber! Heinzy ate the filling out
and left the under crust staring Bertha
in the face. Then we all got up and
went into the parlor. but Heinzy never
said word about Berthas fine cook
ing. Bertha didn't say anything, eth.