The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1912-01-21

| ~ nee upon g time there was a Wo-
man who, although possessed OF
y the Average Measure of Pull
~ chritudc, and many Admirable
Qualities, did net succeed In flag
glnG down any Masculine Creature for a
husband, and who began To perceive that
SSpinstcr would be engraved on her
Tombstone
Happily. this Calamity cut no ice with
her for. she was a Suffragette. and in
stead OF sitting down and bcwailing her
rate IN getting Left AT the Matrimonial
Post. she Touted herself as a Winner
1T may be True she said to herself
that those who Dope out the System of
Life are Right when they figure It out
band but SO many OF my Friends have
put their Money down on Also Rams
that | am probably IN Luck not TO butt
INTO the Game at all.
''lnasmuch. however as shall moi,
nave any Hubby 10 stand for my Meal
lIGket, II is up to me to get out, my
nrnnoan sg; snd "a acquire So re- , Wad for do not
Ir,amiiy. or TO Lose my Beauty Sleep
,WNalkinS some other Womans Baby with
'Tt may he that the propn, t,ar.or
for An unmarried Female is To Listen
TO other Peoples Troubles and work
clippers for Preachers, but not for
Win this tho Woman rolled mp hcr
sleeves and Tackled a Good job and
such energy and Sagacity did She dis
p''l th''A ~ hdS lIDI long bciurp Money
was coming TO her on Wings. and she
blew herself 10 Glcesome ParaphcrnaIia
Win tarbons a-penty and as she had
no Husband to Audit her Accounts she
Blew In her Dough- whenever she liked
on 1heaters and Feeds and Life was uuc
Merry I'raia with her.
Now the Woman had A Sister who
was ono Of those Sweet Feminine Ccea
lures that Men Admire. and in her early
1outh she had Espouscd a Handsome
nn;n noGmter Inmper In a Dry Goods EN-
iration OF how Rasolcss is Mr.. Eooscyet.s
Fear of Race Suicide
indeed There were so many Little
counter Jumpers the Family would hnva
nnen nen on the Blink except that tho Old
'%yGn; Wot T., anJ nc .,,,, stood for tne R"nl
Ier Rr"atN ptticd hey Spnstcr Sister. and
When she came 10 bring the Chilorn,,
snNi,s n"T she's ,Ha; Mother would toll her on
Imnn ,,nGI ,na. 'neN nmst he very Kind IL
"Iiow sad" she would cxclaim. "if
''.iE, ~, u" 20 bc an Old Maid
~cr III @ i" True SGM tst Tepiiss miss The I5c Spin S"in
pHnIonShin ~ {" husband bur as ,i'o
r,isS having Some one {" KnocL NV
Faults and Point ont my WcoItnn.scs ny
even" '''hN ""out
But went on Tie Married Sister
have ,o ,aae ,,,e,. no Man TO pcpend on. and
klFht-", rcspou!cd the Splusror ..I.nt
W''"' want a new hat. ny 10 co In Inc
matinee ] d. not ll~ve tn dn any sJdo
stepping until can rspnotizo a hushand
T." degree where J rar rainIcssl,, ~
trnrt the T'rce f,om him"
~ Alas cried Tho Married Women
how Ter"ibl" II r,Ist he In have io rni,
fr" .voGr Daily Rread" ''
outside ot being born y MiJlionairess.
replied The SDinStcr there arc few cn,,
map" IN Lille fo, Women but II doIn-
stunts m the Ccnkirr Stove and with
ne nc, Broom and Sewing Machine and
Nursing Babies and Patching Tr"use,.s i,'
u f!n'h " hns Gotten Past Me and
SSneaklnR on the level, I advise ,.ou tn
ton. '''su''p-
There are no Ne"tarines So Acidulous
||"narkeI HE Married Sister comnlacent
- IS those shat hang above our rascL T"
love q good HluHer'' repled In,
'"nStcr' pul YOU please me too we'll"
'"'''-- '''s fall" teaches that Uanui
.'c"S ''""si"fT Ia Thinking we arc seItsr
OFF than our Neighbour.