New-York tribune., 1912-04-14
BY FRED c. KELLY

aqreed that a cocktail would be Just the
thing. So he ordered a cocktail. But only
one cocktail, mind you! He drank 1t slowly
and when it was all gone he handed her over
the cherry. ,.,,:1
mAh. YES he replied playfully; but cock
tails aren't good for little girls.
aShe frowned a moment and opined, IN
inst bet You'll have the cocktail and the
cherry all the way through lie.
sand now" | inquired, show much OF
that really happened" NJ,
ooh y replied the Senator, "there was a
bridal corple opposite me, and he ordered only
one cocktail. because she didn't care tor any.
COME of the most famous Depew stores
- had even less foundation than that. FOR
example. Mr.. Depew once told story at a
political convention in Saratoga about man
who went walking through cemetery eating
green apples and singing, Nearer MY 200
to Thee There wasn't so much 10 that'
but it gave him another story when ne iater
told as one of the most distressing exper-
fences of his life. Briefly, it was that he
went back to Saratoga a year after teilig tle
green apples story, and was SURPRISED tilaI
certain lifelong friend of his there was not at
the train to meet him. He inquired why' ana
learned that the old friend was greatly vexed
with him about something, and DID not WISH
to see him. That excited DepeWs curiosity
and he declared that he would not leave
Saratoga until he learned what could nave
estranged his old friend. Finally ne got 10
the man and asked him what was up.
81 wish you'd just 60 on away" said the
friend, "and let me alone. You've caused
enough trouble already.
@But what have done:' persisted Depew;;
"Oh, you've done enough, and Id hoped
never to see your face again. My wife died
aYes, and was greatly panied to hear Of
it. Didn't write you a letter OF sympathy
at the time?' put in Cepew.
"Mv wife died." went on the old friend,
ignoring the interruption, "and one OF her
last requests was that her tayorite hymn,
Nearer NV God to Thee, be sung at the
funeral. arranged everything with great
care; and is | do say it every detail was
planned with such regard for her wishes that
/ had the satisfaction of knowing it was all
lust as she would have had it, if she had been
here to look after the arrangements herself.
And then, when they started to sing Nearer
NV God to Thee, | thought OF that absurd
story of yours that you told at the conven-
ton, and, in my half hystcrical frame OF
mind, | began to laugh. | laughed until |
had disgraced myself, my wife, and all my
friends. And you were the cause OF it all!
| never want to see you again."
That was the story OF the incident as Mr..
Depew told it, and it became famous. As
matter of fact, what had actually occurred
was this: The next time Depew visited Sara
toga after the convention, a friend there re-
marked. "Do YOU know, | went to funeral
the other day, and when they sang Nearer
Nv God to Thee | could hardly refrain
from smiling over the recollection Of that
fool story Of yours"
That was the fact basis for the story-just
that and nothing more. The rest Mr. Depew
"drcmpt.'
CONE years ago, when crossing the At
~ lantic, Mr. Depew was in need of good
seasickncss story. The only thing he could
think of was the yarn about the seasick man
who was asked if the moon had come up,
and replied that if it hadn't it was the only
thing that had stayed down. The story,
which was new at that time, had been told
TO him as a conversation between two men.
Mr.. Dcpew, however, supplied his own at
mosphere, and about all he lifted from the
original version was the cracker. He told OF
4 newly spliccl couple that went abroad on
their honeymoon, and what lot OF hard
L., Il ,yrripu n Na ra-SicfprCa of thp