Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-04-21

AN "a weapon, the boom
| erang, in that i
recoiled upon 1t!
perpetrator and put a good part Of the
laugh on himself.
Sims decided that Americas monopoly
of the sensational must be done away
with. so he published in the Referee a
yarn calculated to make the princes OF
American imaginative Journalism crawl
shamefaced, into oblivion.
kx
He told how a noted American physl-
clan, having an imbecile son, transferred
to him the brain of a brilliant young Pole
whom he had got into his clutches, and
then turned the Pole out into the street,
a hopeless imbecile. The physicians son,
Sims gravely recounted, has grown up to
be a great American dramatist, with two
plays already before London audiences,
and third. hailed as master-Work,
slated for production.
After writing his yarn, Sims decided
that he deserved rest. so off he went
for weekend at Brighton.
But here is where the boomerang nature
of the hoax asserted itself. Reporters
dashed down TO Brighton after Its per-
petrator. clamoring for details about that
scoundrelly American medical man and
his victim the highly intellectual young
Pole. Sims. his holiday ruined dashed
back to London. only to be met by an
other relay of eager reporters. Wherever
he went they went, too, and 1t is probable
that Sims has by this time registered a
VOW never to start a hoax again until
he has assured himself absolutely that 1t
has not a return ticket
And in the meantime the English pub
lic against whom Sims launched his
hoax is keenly reishing his discontinue.
For all the world loves a boomerang
joke.
No form of jest is more highly appre-
ciated by the disinterested bystander. In
the eighteenth century there was favor
lite variety of practical joke which we
would now call catch" but was then
called bite" People roared when an
innocent was bitten. but they roared
much louder when the bitter was bit.
To indicate the popularity of these
boomerang jokes it is only necessary to
trace the history Of some of the most
popular and see how the same old gag
under many variants has amused many
generations of human beings.
There is the familiar Mark Twain story
which went the rounds of the press about
half dozen years ago. Once, SO the tale
runs. he went to borrow a certain book
from a neighbor In Redding, Conn.
''Why. yes, Mr.. Clements" said the
neighbor, you're more than welcome to
It. But I must ask you to read it here.
You know make 1t rule never to let
book go out of my library"
Some days later the neighbor wished to
borrow Mark Twain's lawn mower.
why, certainly" the humorist genial
y acceded. You're more than welcome
10 1t. But I must ask you to use it here
You know / make it rule never to al
low my lawn mower to go out of my
lawn"
Well. this story. SO necu,,ar,v t.rL
Twainy. SO redolent. apparently, of the
American soil. may be found, in only
slightly different FORM in SO antique and
famous book as Bacon Apothegms."
written about 800 years ago. Here is how
Bacon tells it:
Master Mason of Trinity College sent
ms pupil to another of the fellows to
borrow book Of him, who told him: L
am 10th to lend my books out of my cham
bers. but If it pleases thy tutor to come
and view it here he shall as long as he
Will 1t was winter. and some days
after the same fellow sent to Master
Mason to borrow his bellows. but Master
Mason said: L am 10th to lend nv bel
lows out of my chambers. but if thy tutor
would come and use it here he shall as
long as he will
And Of whom was Master Mason the
reincarnation? Aristippus, possibly of
ark. or Adam after he was chased from
Eden? Or the dodo or the megatherium
In the good old prehistoric days?
IT would certainly be impossible to trace
either the historic origin or the many
subsequent avatars Of another famous
story which is told by Bacon and has beer
indefinitely retold down to the present day
about present-day celebrities.
Bacon's hero is an unnamed Scottish
scholar who came down to London in the
time OF James the First 1t was the day
Of the tavern wit conrbats. The Scotch
mans chance acquaintance propounded
to him the somewhat insulting query:
''Quid distat inter Scottum at que sot-
tum? What is the difference between a
Scot and a sotD''
The north countryman answered with
but single word:
'"rabula (the tablet
Most laymen, when business or curiosity
draws them to court Of law. are de-
lighted to see a badgered witness retaliate
upon counsel. 1t is this trait of sympa-
thetic feeling which has kept alive a
story of how Rufus Choate once met his
match.
Choate appeared for the plaintiff in an
important assault and battery case al
sea One of the principal witnesses for
the defense was Dick Barton. chief mate
of the clipper ship Challenge. In his evil
dence he had testified that the night was
as dark as the devil and raining like
seven balls. Choate took him up for cross.
examination. and, after a long grilling
suddenly inquired:
WAS there a moon that night?'
Yes, SIR.
"Ah, yes a moon
"Yes, full MOON
did you see it,"
mot q mite"
''rhen how do you know there was a
NOON"
"The Nautical Almanac said so, and
III believe that sooner than any lawyer
in this world"
What was the principal luminary thai
night. sir?'
"Binnacle lamp aboard the Challenge
"Ah, you are growing sharp, Mr.. Bar
tom
What in blazes have you been grind
ing me this hour for-to make me dull?'
BE civil. sir. Now tell me what lati
tude and longitude you crossed the equa
tor In"
"Sho-you're joking
mo sir. am in earnest. and l desir,
you to answer me-"
II shan't."
"Ah. you refuse, do your
Yes, / can't"
Indeed. You are the chief mate Of