davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-30
DINNER STORIES.

When Bender, the star pitcher of
Athletes VINO Is an Indian came TO
the Philadelphia club from the Car
ilslc Indian school reporter asked
one OF the Philadelphia players. who
IS an Irishman, what he thought of
nav ing an Indian on the team.
The Irishusn replied: --Aw think
they ought 70 keep them foreigners
OUT of the league.'
There had been q fatal accident at
the railroad crossing in a little Penn
sylvanla town and the coroner. a
pO'lpous old fellow. who mag1i6ed
cor.scientiOEsly both his Office and its
incilrnE Gent, had lmpaueled a jury for
n inquest
There was only one witness Of the
accident. an illiteraJe SIav from the
coal mines who could understand no
English With him the coroner began
10 struggle
Can you speak German % he ask
ed The man shook Ffs head
Can you speak Italian 90 continued
che Official Again the man shook his
heed
can you speak Russian ~ finally
ASKED the coroner. Again the man
shook his head
It's no use. gentlemen. said ehe
coroner. turning TO the fury We
ant proceed with the case I've
spe Ken 10 this man in i've different
ian-uages and cant make MIN under
stand me-"
The usual large crowd was gathered
a. the New York end of the Brooklyn
bridge waiting for trolley cars. An
elderly lady. red in the face, hustered
ano russy. dug her elbows into con
Nenient ribs irrespective of owners.
a tat man on her left was the re-
ciplent OF 4 particularly vicious lab
she yelled at him. say
he WINGED slightly and moved TO
one side She. too. side stepped and
thlmped him vigorously on the back
say she persisted. does 1t make
4ut Inference which Of these cars I
laze 70 Greenwood cemetery
NOT 10 me, madam he answered
Ellppins through an opening in the
on one occasion Senator TfIlman
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-30

he made that he printed it in pam
phlet form u congratulate you
Senator Bailey said, q few days later,
''on that speech which you have cir
CUlated as a pamphlet l happened to
see one this morning, and it con-
tanned some of the best things I have
ever seen IL. any pamphlet on that
subject" Il am very proud to hear
you say Sc" said TiIlman, much
gratihed. What were the things
that pleased you so much % why, =
explained Bailey. las I passed the
senate restaurant this morning I
saw a girl come out into the cor
ridor with two cherry pies wrapped
up in it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-30
From the HickeyviIle Clarion.

Miss Euphemia Perkins has wrote a
letter to President Taft and asked him
to change the kind of stickum used on
the postage stamps She prefers vanilla
or pineapple favor, as Hckin' stamps
has been her entire occupation since
tryin' TO get her latest poem published
in one of the various magazines
Old Man Bird tried to commit suicide
the other day by taking a drink of
milk. and all he got was fever and
aggue. Must have been milk shake Fine
line of caskets and burial robes at
Amos Butts Fine nickIe-pIa 81 hearse
for rent for parties, dances, receptions.
etc. etc. By gravy. when a felIer's wife
calls him UP on the telephone it is
generally to call him down
A blind feIIer was through here SELL
in shoe strings the eother day. This
town is getting almost as busy as
Chicago.
Hi Higgins. our photographer, says
few people take a good picture Hank
Tummins says he took good one once
down to the city in an art gallery. but
they saw him and made him put it
back William Tibbitts borrowed Con
stable Hands star TO nail over a rat
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-30

about the putterineSt job agotn.
Mr.. Eluer Jones has just returned
home from an extended trip for his
health He was seIIin' penuant canes
around the country fair He says he
didn't go on the trip exactly for his
health, but it practically amounted to
that.
LATE HiIliker has lost his lucrative
position in the feed mill and as ne
has nothin' particular in view he is
tryin' TO decide whether to go into
vaudeville or the insurance business
Hank Tumms says there amt no
pertickler savin' in smokin' a five
cent seegar that some Teller gives
you. for it gen'ally takes a nickel's
with of matches to keep it agoin.'
If a Teller wants to be crouch
there is something to be mad about
all the time
Next to readin' meters for the gas
company. about the most thankless
job I know of is workin in the trou-
BILE department Of a telephone COM
panv.
It is a medium dull day when Kaises
Bill of Germany don't get on the first
page to the pure readin' matter.
Everything is divided equal in this
world. The poor man has got the
appetite and the rich man has got the
grub.
Nobody in the old home town ever
expects a Teller to make good, but
Wnen ne goes to the bad everybody
knew he would all the time.
The Teller who gets by, is the one
who keeps everIastingly at it Even
if he hasn't got the goods he makes
people think he has, which amounts
to the same thing.
The Evening Dialogue.
Voice (upstairs)-John, have you
locked the front door,
Yes.
Put the cat out?
Yes.
Have you wound the clock?
Yes.
Have you been down cellar to smell
for gas?
Yes.
Have you taken care of the furnace?
Yes.
Have you covered the bfrdcage?
Yes.
Have you brought in the hammock?
Yes.
Have you looked under the Davenport
for burglars?
Yes.
Have you put the milk bottles out7
Yes.
Have you fastened all the windows?
Yes.
Have you fixed the icewater?
Yes
Well. then. why dol't you come to
bed? What have you been doing all
the time, anyhow?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-30

lille THINGS It isn't always the big. spectac-
ular sales that bring store
the largest returns dvertfsing. Any store
likes TO have its name up for selling large
quantities Of expensive goods-but every store
is judged mainly BY the qualities of the multi
tudinous little things that go out the
counters each day. Somehow the impression
grows among people that a store where little
things are right, and pl easant little attentions
are given, is also Inc place to go wheL big
purchases are at stake. Maybe that IS one
reason why people to this store Cor the
best of the big as well little things
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-30
According to Uncle Abner.

According to Uncle Abner.
Undertaken Amos Butts has bought
a new racing automobile and is tear
ing up the ground in these parts. He
fggers that the car will increase his
business considerable if handled right
Outside of paintin' a picket fence
it always seems to me that tryin
to eat Goldfish gravy with a fork Is
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-30

He is in Who's Who 1 believer" yes,
but he is much more prominent in Here's
Howl Puck
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-30

Diamonds

If you are not a dia-
mond expert, you'd
best make your dia-
mond purchase where
quality is the first
con d er ton. At
Hayden's you are not
only positive of the
quality, you can de-
pend upon the fairest,
lowest price. And be-
sides the selection is
broader than any 9TH
er store.
PRICES:
5000 to 100000
JAS. 3. HAYDEN
TT Kansas Avenue.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07
BRAMWELL

VIM Burns is at Caldwell as
juror this term.
Ed Nelson made a trip 10 Boise
10 see his - She Is going to
leave at once for Burley TO make
her home there
II is reported that J. L. Hob,
son will soon be with us again. His
many friends will be pleased TO see
HIM
Mr. Knee was visiting the patrons
OF the phones down here this week
leaving some phones and taking
others out.
John Simpson Is still on the
mend at Boise His many friends
and neighbors are anxious 10 see
him pull through all o. X.
~ C. Nelson Is laboring down
on the Farmers canal, building
forms for cement on waste bitches.
The Socialist down this way held
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

The laughing plant is not a flower
that laughs. but one that creates
laughter. II the printed accounts OF
travellers can be believed. says an
English paper II grows in Arabia
and is called the laughing plant be-
cause the seeds produce effects like
those caused by laughing gas. The
flowers are of bright yellow. and
the seed pods are soft and woolly.
while the seeds resemble small black
beans. Only two or three grow in a
pod The natives dry and pulverize
them. and the powder. taken In small
doses, makes the soberest person be-
have like circus clown or a mailman.
for he will dance, sing and laugh
most boisterously and cut the most
fantastic capers and be In an uproar.
iously ridiculous condition for about
an hour When the excitement ceases
the exhausted exhibitor OF these an.
tics falls asleep. and when he awakens
he has not the slightest remembrance
OF his frisky doings
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07
Beautiful Dishes Free to
Everybody

Every hoseuhold delights in
handsome dishes, and here is an
opportunity for every home to be
supplied with six different kinds
OF hand decorated china serving sets
Of the most beautiful design and
finest quality.
The ware is made and decorated
Dy one of the largest and best pot
teries in America, and is absolutely
guaranteed as TO quality of body
and decoration. We buy it directly
from the potters and for that rea-
son we can afford to OF err II as
we do. 1t is positively not for
ssle-we give II away entirely free
10 any one bringing three new sub
scribers.
The sets are as follows:-Sev-
en- piece Game Sets in the famous
Old English Underglaze Floe Blue
with full god treatment with CEN
ter decalomanla designs of various
game subjects. Large platter and
six plates.
Seven piece Fish Sets with strik-
ly realistic portrayal of fish
and other marine subjects richly
bordered and traced with gold.
Large platter and six serving plates.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

Seven piece Lunch Set in the
Underglaze Floe Blue on beaut-
full Haviland plain shape with
fruit A large round handled cake
plate and six luncheon plates.
Seven piece Berry Sets, done in
elaborate floral design and lustered
with gold. A large berry bowl and
six serving dishes.
Seven piece Salad Set with a
delicate and pleasing treatment of
daisies and violets on a handsome
plain fluted shape, with gold IL
Illumination. A large salad bowl
and six small serving dishes.
Seven piece Lemonade Settle
piece "de-resistance. A large
lemonade jug and six mugs made in
a pleasing shape, floral treatment
with rich lockwood tints.
These splendid serving sets will
do credit to any home or any
table. Call and see the sets on
exhibition in our office. We are
sure you will be delighted-every-
body is.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07
LETHA

The trustees OF the First Bap-
fist church of Letha held "A spe-
cial meeting last Friday. Warren
simmons was elected president and
A. r. Pomeroy, secretary. They were
in Emmett the following day to
insure the building and transact
other legal business for the church
W. w. Wilton wrote up the insuu-
ance.
MIR. Goraoke returned last week
from Middleton with his wife
and family. She has been visit
ing near there for some time He
brought with him another COW, but
don't tell Joe, the cheesemaker.
Mae Barnard Is reported sick
and absent from school since Tues
day this week
Florence Barnard is improving
rapidly from her attack Of appen-
dicitis.
Frank Bigham has another boy.
We haven't seen Rob. Miles since
The Index reported a girl at his
place. We're getting mighty an
xious.
Warren simmons sold his 2
yearolds and is now securing the
country for calves.
Bad roads Who said so? You
can't find them here We've got
the sandy soil with the gravel bot
tom, II you want to enjoy you.
self take spin around Letha
Clarissa Frint is visiting her
Simmons cousins and going to schoc
on the mesa,
Rev. Hunter was calling here
Tuesday.
James Barnard is TO have
sale at Fruitland Saturday, }.
J. Driscoll. owner.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07
NEWS OF TWO COUNTIES
The Weeks Contribution from In
dex Reporters and Other
Sources.
HANNA

Mrs. Stanely Baer and little
sons went to Ashton. Idaho, on
wednesday, where they will make
their home.
Miss Mary schrecongost return
ed home Wednesday from a weeks
visit with her aunt. Mrs. Schnable,
who has been quite III.
Rev. A. l.. Young returned from
Boise on Tuesday evening. where
he spent several days helping Mrs.
Young and the children get set
tied in their new home,
Kenneth Reynolds is able to
be in school again. but Merle is
still quite sick
Miss Goldie Hull is spending a.
few weeks with Mrs. J |. Guthrie
Mrs. John r. Hoagland is spend
ing few days this week with Mr..
Hoagland's mother across the river
Miss Larayea spend Sunday last
at the Hiley home.
Mrs. II r. Watson OF Toppenish,
Wash. came in from Boise Wed |
nesday for few days visit with
the Guthrie, Haylor and Wayman
families Mrs. Watson Is an Oh
schoolmate of the Guthrie's and the
occasion Is very pleasant one.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

a meeting at Little Rock hall last
week. The subject was the White
Slave question A large crowd
gathered 10 hear them discuss
same.
Every storm helps to make muG
on the flats and lowlands. We
will have to call halt soon or
quit travelling on parts of the road.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07
LINCOLN NOTES

! Mrs. Wheeler OF Brownlec spent
a few days visiting her parents.
MFR. Jensen. who has been very
sick is reported slowly improving.
Good news to his many friends.
Boise Riggs. one of the jury
men for this term OF court. re-
turned home Saturday and reported
again for duty Monday morning
Rev. Parker OF Emmett spent sew
eral days in this vicinity visiting
the sick. and making several homes
happy by his cheerful visit.
II you want to see a fine young
peach orchard, Go to the Cooke
orchard
Mrs. Drake, who has been visit
ing her father. returned to
Brownlee after a weeks sojourn "a
mong us.
Mr. and Mrs John Miller spent
Sunday with Mrs. Miller's parents,
Mr. and Mrs. Alsager.
Lutheran services were held at
Mr. Werle's last Sunday.
Boise G. Riggs was in attend
anee at the Bryan reception last
week
Ollie Marchant visited at the
Refs home Sunday
Mr.. Smith of Emmett was Wis
ting his daughter Mrs VIM Ry-
nearson last week
We are locking for the fellow !
who said spring has come, accord |
Ing to ground hogology
Joe Ricketts, of Letha was in
Emmett Saturday. We were won
dering IL he was seeking the par
ty of the first part to that
female contract mentioned here
tofore.
How do you like the deal where
in our friends the Mountain States
Co. broke their con-
tract alreay? Ask the committee.
Several families of this section
took in the Socialist rally and
dance at Emmett Wednesday, and
all report good time.
Dave Gilmore was out our way
N our friends the Mountain States
Telephone and Telegraph Co. We
ire always glad TO see Dave.
Messrs. Warden, Miller and Ded-
.ell were Caldwell visitors Satur-
lay.
Mrs. Jenkins and Mrs. Hoppock
we're visitors in our parts Sat-
lrday, visiting at the Sitter
Iome.
Peter Casper will aid Guy Gill {
nore in moving to Brownlee. '
Thos. J. Coonrod was a Boise
isitor Monday.
Mr. Jones has moved to the
,uckku place.
Mrs. Clara Kroush was Will 1
Nv creek visitor Friday. a
The patrons of the Electric Light
o. were pleased to hear of John p
rr'a promotion. Il
A. A. Richards is still improving "
Is country home. What we "
ant is more men like him. 1t
i'll solve the question of our boys d
lshing to the city. u
DR.. Martin who was Mr. Jen- 9,
ms former minister in Utah, came ~
visit him, and need not say
did him a great deal of good.
Martin Powell fell and cut his
ce a few days ago. n
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

FOR Eight-acre fruit tract
on east slope. About 4 u acres
set to apples, balance in peaches
which will bear next year. Cheap.
Liberal terms. Or will trade for
town property. Index office.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

FOR SALE-Thirty choice tur-
keys for breeding. One brood
SOW. One good mare. Albert Young
Hanna. 19tf.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

WANTED-More men every Sun
day in the Big Brothers class at
the NJ. E. church, GAS a. m.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07
FOR sALE-or rent cheap, /

FOR SALE-Or rent cheap, II
acres of land one mile west of
Emmett, 5-room house, cellar, wood
house, stable room for horses,
hen house, 500 fruit trees in full
bearing, acres in meadow, bal
lance grain truck and pasture land.
A few good horses and mares for
sale. w. r. Davis, on premises. 20
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

Now is the time to buy a gun YoI
will save money by taking advan-
tage of the special low prices Of
fered at Hawkins hardware store.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

FOR EXCHANGE-Goo Portland,
Oregon, residence, 8 rooms, close
in, for Idaho ranch. See NJ. E.
Wells, Emmett, Idaho, R. F. d.
No. /, at Bramwell 22tf.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

FOR SALE-Good recleaned seed
wheat. This wheat went over
40 bushels to the acre, 60 lbs. to
the bushel. Jas VanderdasSon. 20
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

FOR SALE-A good work horse.
c. A. Pape 21-2tp.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

FOR SALE-Four brood sows, 3
fat hogs, Charles Grant, at David
Nelson's place across from sawmill.1
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

FOR SALE-Buff Plymouth Rock
eggs for Matching. $1.OO per
setting of Is. c. M. Park. %
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07
FOR SALE.
weigh

FOR SALE-Big team, weigh
$500 pounds, 6 and years old.
Inquire of H. J. German, Letha. 1al
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

FOR SALE-Two bay mares z
{ years OLD, $500 pounds. S. G.
Knee.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07
Column

LoST-Lady's gold watch, with
fob and nugget charm. Reward
for return to Mrs Fairdhild. %
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

FOR SALE-Six dozen Plymouth
Rock chickens. Hiram Miller II.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

FOR SALE-Fresh COW. B. G.
Riggs.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

FOR SALE-About one dozen Nam
moth Bronze Turkey. Harry S.
Workman.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1912-03-07

FOR SALE-Good dry cord wood
block wood and posts. j. e.
Wilton, Letha, Idaho; Phone 26
2s-1l-1s. IA
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-05-11
SAN SIMON is ON
LIVELY BOOM NOW
Oklahoma Capitalists De
cided to Locate and De
velOp Valley Lands.

san Simon, Ariz. Nav iI-San Simon
secured new and valuable friends ana
allies when four Duncan. Oklahoma,
capitalists invested in land in the val
ley close to the city. The party is
composed as follows; DIT J. w. Whise-
nant, banker. J. d. Xix. recently retired
from the ice, electric light and water
works business in his home city; r. l.
skinner capitalist, real estate; and j.
T. Griffith. cotton buyer. All are re-
puted men OF means.
Each filed on $50 acres of land as a
desert entry, and each proposes later
locating hOmesteads here if they can
be suited as TO location and price
They are so well pleased with the
valley that they have decided to pur-
chase well rig and put down as many
artesian wells on their claims as shall
be necessary to irrigate the entire
tracts. 1t is expected that work on the
first well will be commenced within
the next 60 days. With these wells
down, they viii then proceed to further
Improvement and cultivation OF their
land.
1t is possible they viii also engage
in other enterprises here
Promise has been made by Messrs-
Whisenant, HiX, Skinner and Griffith
10 be influential in sending relatives
and friends in the Oklahoma country
10 san Simon TO take up land, and
the favorable report which they will
make IS expected TO result in many peo-
PIE from LldL SecLlOu removing 10 san
Simon to make their home.
The population of san Simon has in
creased during the past six weeks,
there being at least so people more
making their home here now than
there were on the first of April; and
still they come According TO a con-
servative estimate. more than so land
filings have been made here before L.
S. commissioner Sigh during the same
period. Among those filing recently, in
addition to the above, are the follow
ing: T. 5. Mayhem, Bakersfield. Cal;
Wilson D. Rust, Basin, Wy; and G. c.
Reed, Hardy Fuller. and Mrs g. II.
Ebsen, Of san Simon.
J. II. Roy and family and +. l.
Walker and family. OF Tucson, have
arrived in town to make their home
here. The former Is the new 5. 2. sec
ton foreman. and the latter the new
msintainer.
W. c. Morrison has rented the J. c.
Page building. next door TO The Belt
office, and viii arrive with his family
from California soon, TO make his home
at san Simon. having land interests
here. He is from the east and had
shipped his goods to California. stop
ping off at san Simon en- route to Cal
ifornia. he was favOrably impressed
with this valley. and concluded to
make his home here instead
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-05-11
POLICE BENEFIT
PLANS PERFECTED
May 10 to Be Policemen s
Day at Washing
ton Park.

May 19 viii be pOlicemtn's day at
Washington park. Then members OF
the Police Benefit Fund association
VIII put on an afternoon and night en-
tertainment 10 raise money TO take care
Of sick policemen and the widows OF
deceased policemen There is money
IN the treasury Of the association, but
its officers wish enough funds TO guard
against unforeseen trouble which might
take more than one life OF the men
who protect FL Paso property
1t is going TO be great show, mark
ing the opening CT the FL Paso pleasure
park on sunday Of next week Walter
A. Williams. the policeman who used
10 be circus clown and acrobat and
a member OF the board of directors Of
the association, is promoting the show
he has put on many other amateur
shows in FL Paso-
Arrangem ents have been made with
the City baseball league TO put on a
game between the InternaJiOnals and
the Army team beginning at 1870. Field
sports Of the policemen will start at 8
O'Clock. The fourth cavalry band viii
furnish noise.
The night entertainment win be Of
quite another sort. A regular carni-
val with an old fashioned midway
will be put on by Mr.. Williams. There
viii be freak shows. minstrel shows.
boxing exhibitions and the notorious
Turkish band, accompanied BY Madam
Fatema." who win for the first time
ipjn this country" introduce the won
OerfuI Turkish toe trOt."
PatrOllmen and corner men vii.
soon begin the sale OF tickets to their
friends. NewsbOys identified by the
circulation managers of newspapers
viii be admitted free. There viii be
ickts good for every side show on
the grounds.
The police benefit association was
organized Sept I. 1909, explains VIII
liams. 1t is for the protection of the
men and families OF the men who are
riskiug their health and lives for the
people of El PasO. Since the organ
iZatiOn. less than three years ago, we
have buried four brother officers, pay
ing $1,000 in each case, and we have
paid sick benefits to p men More
than half the members have received
some benefits. We have paid out
S706.10. We still have IN the treasury
S463.47, but we hope 10 have 81. 900 to
guard against any sudden disaster
which might take many lives.