The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-10
HOW OLD IS BowsER?
He May Be IS, and He May Be 30.
His Friends Guess.

When Mr.. Bowsera came down to
breakfast the other morning there was
knowing smile on his face and a
chucIle in his throat. Mrs. Bowser
looked at him in astonishment, but
asked no questions, and at the end
of five minutes he said:
You don't seem interested at all.
In what"
1.-The day"
1T seems to be a fine winter morn
ing"
Cooks got the toothache.''
And the milk froze and burst the
bottles
"IIa ha! ha! I thought you'd for
gotten all about it, My dear Mrs.
Rowser, let me introduce you to the
fact that this is my birthday
Gracious. but so it Isl" she ex-
claimed How careless of me 10
have forgotten. You dear old thing,
but I'm going to kiss youl'
he said:
4 thought we'd celebrate the day
a Bit
"Oh. we surely must. How time
does fly. It doesn't seem ten years
since you were a young man of 20,
and here you are, an old man of
ST.
What. What, What" shouted
Mr.. Bowser, as he dropped his knife
and fork and turned as red as
painted beet
1t was an unfortunate slip on the
part of Mrs. Bowser. and she real
lied it and wanted to make amends.
but before she could find anything
to say Mr.. Bowser demanded:
so [ am in my dotage, am II"
You know I didn't mean that. I
was simply saying that time has
passed quickly. No one calls man
''F'ifty-nine. Woman. what in the
devil ails youl DO you think you are
talking to some one else."
Why, it's your fifty-ninth anniver-
Sary, isn't it ~
-F'ifty-nine. F'ifty-nine, No! It's
my one hundred and TENTH
Now, please don't be mad" she
coaxed- Ever since [ got a bug in
my ear l have found that I don't
remember things very well. had go
it in m ymind that you were SO years
old, but if You are not"
"Of course I'm mott"
rs it 81, dear?"
Not by a darned sight! If your
memory is as bad as this youd better
go to a hospital for treatment. [ am
) years old today
Mrs. Bowser is not always polite
She should have let the figures stand
although she knew they ought to be
50, and Kept peace in the family. But
she didn't. She came back with
But was consulting the family
bible the other day and
And what in thunder has the fam
| lily bible or the family almanac to do
with my agel" yelled Mr.. Bowsaf.
It's put down there in the family
record that you were born in the year
1853. This being the year 1911, that
makes you
But you've gone at it and changed
the record You've altered the figures
You wanted some sort of a club to
hold over me. I'll bet a hundred dol
lars to a cent your malicious-rninded
old mother suggested that move Oh,
yes, you'1l deny it and offer the bible
as proof, but there will be no more
wrangling over the case. You've zone
at it in the most cold-blooded way and
spoiled my happy day
offered to make affidavit that Mr..
Bowser wasn't a minute over 0 years
old, but it was too late. The iron had
entered his soul. He rose from the
table with an icy glare in his eyes and
went out for a walk. The first man
he met was his neighbor, HazelCon,
and he was greeted with:
Hello, boy. whittier away? You
are stepping off like a colt this morn
ing
Didn't know it was my birthday
did you % was replied.
5000? I'll bet 1 can guess within a
year of your age?"
Go ahead"