davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1912-08-01

| hurled the dining room table al
Uneeda's Precious Treasure, his
Favorite Brain Child, the Poetry
Machine. Gathering up the wreck
age of the table | belabOred that
most efficacious tool of his Satanic
Majesty until the jar shook my
mother-in-law out of bed at the other
end of the house. All--all affected
that Internal contraption not whit!
| tore my hair in such paroxysm
of rage and despair as may you never
be witness Of; uptil my lacerated
scalp cried aloud to be permitted to
pass it's few remaining days upon
it's native heath. But 1 was beyond
pity. With one final frenzied
wrench / tore it from it's ancestral
home, from the bosom of it's Shrek
ing family, as it were and, cast the
bloody, mangled remains of what
had once been the proud covering
of my noble Uranium upon that
Poetry Machine. Calmly, one
might suppose that would have feaz-
ed it. But not feaze 1t still ran
on; footless, meterless, rhymeless!
Then mama-in-law appeared upon
the scene of carnage, clad very
much, or very little, in neglegee, and
hopping along on her one game leg.
She stopped just within the door,
and Selling my favorite volumn of
Kipling from where it had fallen
when | did the Christy Mathewson
act with the diningroom table, she
took deliberate aim at my denuded
head and let drive. l closed my
eyes, thinking that here was deliver
ance at last, for it was a heavy book,
ornamentally bound in thick leather,
with scrolled copper corners and
back. Senile thought; who ever
heard of a man being delivered by
his mother-ln-law? With a curve
like the aforementioned Christy
Mathewson would have given a
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1912-08-01
years salary to have been author of,

years salary to have been author of.
the Kipling sailed gracefully around
the room, some seven feet from
where | stood, knocked $40 vase
off the mantel shelf, and landed in a
little hopper on the Poetry Machine
that had always been in my way.
With the purr of a contented kitten
that Internal contraption, that organ
of the DEVILS own invention, that
that-Bah! words fail me that Poet
ry Machine settled down to marking
time!
One-two, one-two, one-two, one
two, one-two! Just like that! And
then forth from the opposite ex-
tr entity of that that that
Poetry Machine there issued a
stream of syllables, of words, phrases
verses, Like this:
There his wop wot travels round, you'll meet
i'm hany where's.
Twould make typhoon 'ang is cad the way e
You'll find i'm hon the desert plains, hand in the
TIL wop wot Hi would mention his tn guy wot
puts on tong
One day when Hi was hoff on leave Hi met a
pretty maid.
Hi asst 'er would hit be small or 'ot gin lemon
ade,
She SEE. Hi doe not know you Sir! But Hi will
come halong'
She frank my beer, hand left me for guy what
put on tong!
work to doe.
Hand who hit is wot does hit we hall know han
we'll we know.
But when hit gets promotn time then hits diff
frint song;
TIL Cor'prils stripes hall goes to wops wot sings
on lots of tong
Hand when we're mustered hout O. ranks we're
Apply can be.
For who hit his wot pays the chink you bet
Tommies see
Hand when we're back in Lun'on. Boys hit will
not take us long
To fix hup like R'yal Dook-then watch hus
sling the tong.
To which letme add, by way of
revenge. this Penvoi:
Their is place called Saltwater where lots of
good folks go.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1912-08-01

HER REPLY
0)O

Your letter Shaun, an tits sorra on tn day
That you left tn boys of Ireland go America;
You dreaming arrah Shaun hold whist
Shu tn spreading tn barney faith could est
You there's girl there pretty mese within
May tn div fly away wild yourself and your bould lies;
thing you worship than old -ban,
smack of good oud Erin in your Cuskeen Lawn
we'll do remember when you said goodbye Ashore,
loaded with tn aytue till couldn't hould
take ather your Father he likes his little dhrop,
But with dacent for he knows just when shoP
stand all night and it with knife an FORKS
doing that off there New York.
You could sing all from early night till dawn
If tn ashings lavngs tn "Cruskeen Lawn.
Faith you had pick gur Pattern Fair,
your got tangled in web raven hair
You took mt cutting rushes an deludered me tn while,
An you claimed the had birth within rougsh Irish smiles
think dhropped from heaven said sweet
You placed back beside tn load of peat,
You said eyes jewels, step like fawn;
you talkin thru your sCruskeen Lawn
hardly your her with twists an with its crooks,
l tn jug by you, be tn token ov its looks;
sendn you your passage that you lave New York.
An you find waiting for when strike tn Cove Cork
hop loving tn don't mind dhrop two
living tn 'Shebeens, faith, will never do;
So tn word of you call your Shaun
When you put by your phandern wild tn "Cuskeen Lawn.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1912-08-01
For Sale--One Poetry Machine
Continued From FIRST Page.

sent in fire alarm. My neighbor
on the left turned in the riot call.
The cook took French leave-and
she had stayed with us faithfully
for three weeks! Nothing else
happened, except that my mother
in-law fell down stairs and broke
her leg, so that she will have to stay
with us the rest OF the summer.
When / had bribed the police and
fire chiefs to leave us, / promised
my mammal law that she should
have the first foot the Poetry Ma
chine turned out. It didn't seem
to cheer her up much.
linked with that machine. l let
my right hand neighbours daughter
torture a piano till all hours of the
morning without kicking a kick. l
volunteered to NOW my left hand
nelghbOr's lawn for the rest of
the season. I'hired nine cooks in
four days, and then bought family
ticket to Peck's Grill. | wore out
seven pairs of glasses studying that
instruction book; and l bought up
ali the back numbers of Brann's
Iconoclast in it's paimiest days in an
effort to increase my vocabulary to
a point where | could express my
feelings without biting myself in
the neck; and then my mother-in-law
did it.
had gotten down my favorite vol
umn of Kipling with larcenous
idea Of wrecking vengence upon
Uneeda via the ballad route, but had
postponed the slaughter to make one
last desperate effort with the Poetry
Machine. / started the motor, and
squirted oil into that concentration
of trouble until it poured from our
garnet window: | paced off fourteen
steps and from that point of vantage
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1912-08-01
a VOICE FROM THE HILLS

They holdin "Beauty Show down tn Kerry Fair
An tn pick all tn coeen round will be Prisned there;
Fair Mag from sBalygutrie Noreen from s'Talee'
Will be tn honors, but fur
1 gentry pasin', thinks
An tn little swild thyme that he tangled hair
tn they IL have tn beauty show,
beauty 'Kerry' fur thinks
They be dres in silks an aces an go ridin in ''hay,
(They II forget tn bit of petcoa whin rakn hays
IN thnkin' they I'll bunch stuck things,
Shure they they IL soil their g
they 'Kery praisin m
The every young colleen long stays prasin'
I've the good word neighbors I've smile fur all
So praise fur beauty long here calls
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1912-08-01
ALONE
go

IT'S roaming tn wourld 1 am wanst more
An tbs cold upon me heart,
With never wan to say ''good luck
When wan is about to start
No clasp of tn hand in sorrow,
An never tn tear fur me,
No wan to heed, or to wish wan Good Speed,
AS wan puts out to sea.
A shmile, an tn heart goes lighter,
A kiss, an wan is blest,
But never "God go wild you
Nor tn sob ov an aching breast;
No wan to cry, "Alanna,'
May God take of thee,
No wan to kiss, No wan to miss,
AS wan puts out to sea.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1912-08-01
DEPARTING
N0DO

All that have is yours, why will you be leaving
The who love you dearly, for the glamour of beyond
You think twill be all sunshine but they leone day grieving
When your heart will cry bitter and respond
Faith little colleen you nice, and far pretty
staying your for slavery the mills,
It's long ways 'Alanna, from the turf hut to the cty
; An long ways back, Acushla, your Irish Hills.
Why will be saying from those who kndnes
Why will you be lstnng the city strangers wles?
He toud pleasures an Needed blindness
But lass has thousand tears fur every hundred smiles
1t has the many young CURL fast within its keeping,
Gur that left their home huts for the that kills.
All beauty an all an they wisu in their weeping
Wistul for BREATH 'Mavourneen, of their Irish Hills
awhile Agau, put your thoughts of strayings
Keep lovely hillside with tn greenness of its sod
Up in the mountains still believe in praying
An each other kindly for simple in God
If you go, twill tn day when they II be daily aching
For tn beauty of the mountains for its lakes ripping rl
Ah you'll know, grille when little heart breaking,
long ways back, "Acushla,' o your Irish Hills.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1912-08-01

MAKING UP
0~O

All thin, Mavourneen know you forbid me tn hut
But couldn't help stopping, an where is the wrong'
For as was passing, the Tilt of your voice
Put weight to my feet, it chuned into song;
know of tn SANDER you heard on the Common,
Be that same you gave me tn lash of your tongue,
If they had their Dues them that talk Of their better
They'd be tied cart then took out and hung.
Shure "Alanna but a bit of dreamer
Ia call you queen with heart of pure gold;
Id say the good Lord wanted one perfect Jewell
SO lie turned out yourself, then broke tn mould
Id say such as that but fear 'twould be blarney
For you re not what d claim, be the length of mile
You gave heed to big lawn when he ed with his lying
That he 'Bridget Rhue' meself at tn sthile
The divil step did step that avening;
Put truth on tn words that tell you, ''Machree'
It's yourself that should know left off all deluderin'-
When you promised youd only be out wild me-
Faith there isn't lass, yourself that cherish,
Achushla lave off wild your anger, pray,
Shure It's hunting hut this moment,
Knowing well in me heart, you II soon name the day.
Yourself and your scorn has me fairly distracted;
So forget tn black lies an we'll patch up tn rucon
And you IL be once agin Irish Colleen.
You say you are sorry, arrah put by your cryin',
Look up tn smile tn face of tn moon!
Faith, he be sayn twas healed tn soreness
m friend to all lovers,-Shure, he is that ''Aroon'
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1912-08-01
COURTSHIp
1oA

Place man and maid together
And, if he has ''pounds O. pence
A pig, hut, and haggart,
And She bit of sense;
If tn moon above shines O. er them
And they feel touch O. Spring,
It is shure that She II be sending
Him to town to buy tn ring.
Faith tn thing needs no explaining,
Why the colleen lost her heart,
The pig, the hut an haggart
Played the great important part,
For we know tbs truth, we re saying,
It's safe and proper bet,
That without tn pigs an turf-hut
He would not be married, yet.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1912-08-01

Down IN Maine thousands of moe
casins are made, says the Lynn Item.
Just the kind the Indians wear, the
natives of the Pine Tree State say.
Maine also makes snow shoes
Chuzzlewit.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1912-08-01
MIS- S @ ERIN
BY APACHE
The Young Celtic Poets
BY APACHE

K A.
The Bookman
hearts ire
o wall
They shed big when they sigh, "Machree'
Floods when they sob, "Aroon'
Forth young Gaels of Ireland
Ar lads that drive mad
For half their words need foot-notes
And half their rhymes bad.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1912-10-24
FEAR THAT DROVE
/ STIFF TO SUICIDE
J WAS BASELESS
Instead of Facing Bankruptcy,
Manufacturer Had $4,000
II Above All Liabilities.

Instead Of being on the verge Of nnan-
e1al ruin. as he had supposed, Nathan
Sir committed suicide At . time when
the assets OF his business interests to-
tailed S1ss, 500 above his liabilities. SiK
owned two silk mills. a clothing factory
end various selling agencies. He drank
poison Sept. in his office At No. II
Waverley place
Obsessed with the belief that his COM
mercial credit was imperilled and that
friends would be involved, Sifr decided
that II was the part of honor to end his
life and thus save those who had stood
by him in time OF need.
Perley Morse n Co., certified public
accountants at No. 43 Exchange place,
examined Mr.. sins financial condition
for Leo Oppenheimer. appointed receiver
In bankruptcy. Immediately after the
suicide. Their report OF yesterday shows
total assets OF y772, rs and a surplus OF
u3s,5SO over liabilities. The assets in
clude life insurance policies for $S6 300
whose ownership Il disputed. Deductins
that item the balance sheet gives . net
surplus of $51 $50.
II the assets can be liquidated at face
value and the surplus holds ~ the ac-
countants expect Siff's heirs will havs
ESQ from the business. $1$7, 900 from
nfe insurance. and probably $4,000 II
friendly notes and checks.
Slff filed his Will July in the Sur.
rogate's once, leaving his estate to his
wife In her own right and as guardian
Of their four children. July 20 he
transferred to his wife . life policy
for $4,000. and July % another fol-
$4,000. She thus had $4,000 in poll.
c1es. including ono for $4,000 trans
ferred two years sgo
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1912-10-24
THE Durable stage
CONSUMPTION N f.

Do not 70 away from homo n the hsps
Of q cure from residing . shert time N
different climate. Consumption - dis'
esss 10 just ~ durable - any other dis
ease. and can be cured in any climate.
You oan b cured at homs-lf zoo can
be cured at an-while II you improve In
another climate. you return to your home
only to have the disease break out agais
in a more viruisnt form than before.
Remember that every case passes
through its durable Stage, which 10 often
Of . years duration - plenty Of time to
b. cured. II the disease II only recognized and
properly treated before ths incursbas staSe over
taks the patient.
II you fear that there has been failure
to correctly diagnose or understand your
case. call on DR.. Anderson and invssti-
gate his means Of treatment for y0urUelf.
He 10 one Of New York's leading Special
lists In Throat and Lung Diseases. and ~
expert in diagnosis BY special x-Agh'
examination. whereby he discovers the
very earliest signs of lung trouble while
the disease 10 yet in Its durable stage.
It costs you nothing TO find out FOL
yourself. because office consultation and
examination are given without charge
DR.. Anderson. Specialist, so West 22d
street (between 9th and 9Th avenuss)
New York.
Hours-Daiiy. 10 TO =; Monday. wednes
day. Friday evenings Till o'clock
Sundays. II to 2. Valuable book OF
Tuberculosis SAINT 70 any address.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1912-10-24
MISSES FIANCE AND WALKS
STREET FOR DAY AND NIGHT

Mise Celia Henry, daughter Of tho
proprietor Of the Colonial Hotel in
Philadelphia. came TO this city Tuesday
to meet John Kaisan, a house painter.
Of Long Island City and marry him.
Her folks did not like Kalsan very we'll.
So 1t seemed better she should come to
him than ne go to her.
In his letter telling her where to meet
him Kalsan told her he would be wait
ing for her at the Elmhurst Station Of
the Long Island Railroad Thursday
morning. She misread the letter and
was there Tuesday. She waited around
all day and at last. when he did not
come. looked at the letter again and
saw she had made a mistake Of two
daye. 4-....t..-.
The girls money was gone. she did
not know where Kalsan lived and she
had no friends In this city whose ad-
dresses she knew. She walked up and
down the streets all night and all day
Wednesday. To-day early Policeman
Mahoney found her lurchinE alons
Broadway. Elmhurst. soaked to the skin
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1912-10-24

and weak from hunger and exposure.
He called an ambulance and had her
sent to st. Johns Hospital.
The police found Kalsan In Long Isl
and City and took him TO the Hospital.
kalsan wanted to take her right out TO
q parson, but the physicians said she
must stay for two or three days until
she was quite over the shock.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1912-10-24
Accident sends Liner Bask 20 Port.

LIVERPOOL. Eng, Oct 24.-The
steering gear 70 the Canadian Pacific
steamship Montcalm which left Liver
pool for Montreal on Oct IL. has got
out of order and the vessel Is Obliged
to return to this port. She was re-
ported to-day at s.4s A. NJ. at eighty
miles west of Fastnet
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1912-10-24
French Sample Neckwear. 81 $50
regularly IS to 50, each L.

sale Of rich high impoted offered BY
III anv retail arm neck6ng imported with
copied for the high class New York trade
neckWea hand made chiffon and lace
abots
models Robespierre coiaTsj beautiful
yokes and front pieces stocks With jabots.
Sims Crswfos Co.. Sale ro-Morow Sf
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1912-10-24
6 iOc Cakes Idcalia CASTLE Soap
| 10 r2Sc.

wonderful skin food. for 2Sc.
Enchanto Beautifier, 2Sc.
2Sc lar of Plexo Greaseless or
Cleansing Cream. with Csc box
Of Plexo Tooth Powder. Ice.
Ideaiia Cold Cream. 1a-lb. tins. Sac:
lib. tins, SOC.
Mennen's Talcum Powder. lac.
Denatufed Alcohol. large bottle. lac.
SOC bottle Imported Orange Flower
Water or Rose Water. acc.
soc box of Imported Vio!ette de
Parme Soap. 23c.
2sc Cake Resinol Soap for lSc.
soc bottle Hay Hair Health. acc.
nYSl m0son GPa ~ f0gd In NJ
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1912-10-24
Toilet Articles at Special Prices
1854, for TO.M0rroW

Westphal Auxiliator. SOC sise,
acc; ~. 90 size. acc.
2sc box Woodbury. Facial Powder,
lSc.
2sc box Sozodone Tooth Paste OF
Powder, lsc.
25c box Lustrite Nail Bleach. lac.
25c Craddock's Medicinal Soap, isc
Cosmo Buttermilk Soap. 5 cakes in
box. l3c.
2sc size of Rivers Tale. for l7c.
Enchanto Face Bleach. . perfect
skin whitener and absolutely harm
less, soc.
Idealia Violet Witch Hazel. full pint
bottle, acc.
soc bottle Dorin's Blanc Dc |
| Perle. pink or white. 1Sc.
q Floor. On Sale To-Mogrow.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-05-24

Sixth ward-Magistrate. J. H. Sea
man, Waterproof; constable. John d.
Shelton, Waterproof.
Seventh Ward-Magistrate, E. d.
Coleman; constable, -.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-05-24
Insect
Kills Many
Pests
i'm Small
Flats

climate that under the housing conditions fifty years ago. would
have precuded the possibility of its presence.
An examination of the head Of this cenpede will pair
strong jaws that used against enemies and for the purpose capur
ing small insects for food considers the fly great deay and
besides this eats feas mosquitoes clothes moths
small household pests 1t hunts its mostly at night
The house cntpede has seldom been known bite person
sfefense it should happen pinch babys finger toe
swelling produced could be quickly aevaed by application
Most household pests live upon scraps of and vegetables left
about the sink and pantry inducements held pests
the house cenpede will be effective ally in rddg the premises Of
the deestabe things and then viii 20 quest
worlds to conquer.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-05-24
JOSEPH, La. FRIDAY, MAY 24,1sl2.
Working
Hours
Burdens of
Labor Should
be LiGhtened
By JAMES DUNCAN. BOSTON

ARBITRARY limit can be set at this time to the length
of the workday The nnehour day thought to be
immense stride for labor in its progress toward ideal cond
dons, and the eghthour day is justly regarded
great achievement Evolution however, viii determine
whether and how the eghhour day may be shortened
Some persons who qualified by study and observation
judge said to believe that if economic conditions
scientifically regulated the average workday would
need to exceed four hours in duration.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-05-24
School Board.

School Board.
First ward-M. w. Bland, Point
Pleasant.
Second ward-Robert Y Newell,
Newellton.
Third ward-w. ]. steen. St Jo-
seph.
Fourth ward-P. c. Smith. Delta
Bridge.
Fifth ward. c. Ellis.
Sixth ward-w. d. A. Gorton, Wa
terproof
Seventh ward-D. F. Miller. Cold
man p. o.
Secretary School Board and Super
intendent Education = Thomas M.
Wade. Newellton.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-05-24
Members Parish Democratic Execu
tive Committee.

Members Parish Democratic Execu-
tive Committee.
First ward-R. W. Newell Newell
ton; F. L. Guthrie. Notnac P. o.
Second ward-Louis Buckner, New
elton: r. Y. Newell, Newellton.
Third ward-A. e. Green, st. Jo-
seph; Louis Buckner Jr., st. Joseph.
Fourth Ward-R. B. Lynch, New
Light; P. c. Smith, Delta Bridge.
Fifth ward-D. Fl. O'Kelley. Ash
wood: B. F. Mcvay. Ashwood.
Sixth ward-G. c. Goldman, Cold
man P. o.; Allan Shelton. Waterproof
Seventh ward-D. F. Miller. Cold
man; e. d. Coleman. Highland.
At Large-Joseph Curry, st. Jo-
seph: w. NJ. Davidson, st. Joseph;
John Hughes, st. Joseph; Or. X. B.
Mcmillan. Point Pleasant; John Muir
doch, Newe1lton-
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-05-24
Many
Little
Things
of This
World
BY Sarah MONTGOMERY

neghbohood that my individuality than
a of souless cottages.
may that husband about $18 week and there
are five in my family
who oed and saved until she
She also has resulting smnvdm She had time to read
spiritual things did interest her. She had property
home for her old Today she is most unhappy dontend
She read tires bo her She knows spiritual
up peace that only from within Books unknown
quantity and she is mental beggar
have not money saved property but have the things worth
vhile which will sustain me when I'm old.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-05-24

The house eentipede has but recently
come to Chicago. Another name for it is
"skein centipede," from the tangled, thread
like appearance of the numerous legs,
which easily detach themselves when the
animal is captured or crushed under foot.
The house centipede belongs to the
same family as the very poisonous cent?
pede of the southern states and its home
was originally in that part of the country,
but since we have continuous summer con-
ditions here in our warm fiat buildings the
house centipede has gradually moved north
ward until it has become very abundant
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-05-24

In recent address the president of Princeton college said that
throughout the world today the subject of receiving
attention from those who and all subjects
This being it obvious that the
anty developing strength against the great of economic waste
which mentioned growth
public feeling everywhere against the waeu and destructive
of society," inevitable that ghened
since military glory and ggrandement pays bills out of the pockets
of the workingmen.
The product of labor that satisfy
does not strain productive capacity
kind The heaviest created the which
absolute waste has caused Unsuitable greed has xacted
Some remarkable results have attended the reduction of the hours
labor When this reduction first ad its opponents argued that
the leisure which the wonmn would have could only result
increase of and disorder and especially of drunkenness 1t
found however, that not only such discovered
that actual and pronounced decrease of all
to be noted wherever the shorter wokday had been established
The fact that the reduction of the labor
dence of the growth in strength of the labor and has
panied usually by the of the movement for higher wages and
the improvement of labor in other ways.
The charge sometimes that wokngmen favored
go day less for the leisure that provides oppou-
In all weguaed trade there provision for time and
the wongman has any overtime for purpose
dscouraging the overtime practice by the employer.
The wokngman has developed interests activities which
his leisure has devoted New created calling
the development of of supply and the world profe
ndustria socially and spiritually by the change The process of
s:s 81 's.s s:.,s. !. 8 ). &c: