davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
Apt Reply.

A laborer contracted with a farmer
to work during the summer, but he
tired of the job and walked of.
Later he returned and demanded
the balance OF his pay. The farmer
had been unable to get another hand.
all. being engaged elsewhere, and he
claimed his crop. was injured from
lack of attention more thar he wages
due amounted to. and he refused to
pay him. D.. ,,ys,.,..,.,.......,y.
{ The, laborer saed him. but lost the
CASE He was very angry, and openly
said he would get even.
:, The farmer owned a bunch Of fine
cattle and was amazed and Indignant
one, morning to find their tails had
been cut of. He sued the laborer and
brought witnesses who had heard him
threaten revenge: hut this. evidence
wlssseircunfit ffaf q the easeswas
dismissed for J. want 81 proof. Later
the. farmer and q rieighbor were look
ing at the cattle. and the farmer re.
marked he did not know what to do
with them. y sse....A
Well said the neighbot, 81 think
you better dispose Of them by whole
sale. Tor # IT, certain you can. never
retail then. - Norman Fl Mack's Ma
tional Monthly. $3.50 .l..:,.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
Utilizing tho Castle.

Oh Of the young men attached to
the American embassy at London
brought back with him a story that
has ~ do with feature Of the Duffer.
In e.. tie, near Belfast-a historic ruin
In the shape of castle that had been
q stronghold Of the O'Neils.
It appears that one day Lord Duff.
erin vi d 1t with his steward, one
Mulligal, and that he drew a line
with his walking-stic' round 1t. at the
same time instru> lg the steward
to build protecting wall on that line.
Then Dufferin went to the continent.
feeling quite secure as to the preser-
vation Of the historic feature. Upon
his return to Ireland he visited the es-
tate. The castle vas gone. He rub
bed his eyes and looked again. Then
he sent for Mulligan. Where's tho
CASTER" he asked.
"The castle, me lord? Sure, pull
ID It down to build the wall WITH"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
Saw Point of Resemblance.

Rev. Denis ODonaghue, whom
every one In Indianapolis knows and
loves. and who is now bishop of the
diocese Of Louisville, is as fond of
telling a joke on himself as he is of
springing one on some one else.
The bishop is nearly bald and when
he is travelling and desires to remove
his headgear he usually pulls on silk
skull cap. The bishops friends tell of
a little train incident that happened
to him while travelling between Indian.
apolis and Chicago -
Just behind the bishop sat travel.
ing man who appeared to be deeply
interested in his reverence. However,
no did not speak to the bishop until
the train began to slow up at a small
station. The traveller was to alight at
this station. Gathering his grips he
started for the door. Then he turned
back and stopped at Bishop O,Donag-
hue's seat.
Pardon me-" he said, with an anx-
ious countenance, "but aren't you Bill
NyeT
Bishop O'Donaghue, who was al
ways an admirer of the famous humor-
list. thought the joke was too good to
keep and promptly told 1t on himself.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
School Built by BOYS.

In the city of San Francisco, q
three-story and basement brick school
building, modern and artistic and
convenient in plan, Is now nearing
completion, which has been construct
ed entirely by the hands of the pupils
who are to occupy it. Every brick in
the wall was put there by the hands
of beardIess boys, the mortar which
holds the brick having been mixed by
them. They also made the handsome
supporting posts and cut the planks
Of the stairways; put In woodwork
and constructed and hung doors; saw.
ing and shaping every bit of wood
which has gone into the structure.
They even installed the plumbing,
casting the pipes In their own faund.
ries, and shaped the metal in their
own Jorge room. All the electrical ap.
pliances were installed by them and
they planned the lighting and power
systems. In short, from the concrete
foundation to the roof, the building is
IN every part the work OF boy stu
dents, done In class room, according
to their own plans and specifications.
The boys are the pupils OF the Will
merding School of Industrial Arts.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
Blanc "euntyr for TIL, Ono.

Blanc "eunty" for This Ono.
Ever since "Bunty" came to town to
pull q few strings Scotch stories have
been in the hereabouts, says the
New York correspondent Of the Gin.
cinnati Times Star. This is told By
John Dunsmore, who has a Highland
ancestry as we'll as a Highland name.
1T was hot Sunday afternoon in Ed.
inbro," said Dunsmore. "The kirk was
full Of men and women as the preach
er Numbered. But by and by they
all cropped of to sleep except one
simple-minded boy seated in the or.
gan loft.
"'A stin-necked and pervairse gen.
eration,' shouted the minister. .Ye'er
feet ha ta'en hold on the road t~at
leads doom to hell. Ye'er e
blinded and Ae'er ears are de..., and
ye'er flesh is cen glen over to the
Evil One, for there is not one Of you
all in this house of worship that is
not asleep, exceptin' for tH'o bit lad.
die In the organ lift
"'Ye're RIGHT, pairson,' said that in.
dividual in reply, and I'd be asleep
myself If were not daft"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
MANUSCRIPT
Will Be Protected Against Possible
Destruction BY Fire

Father Ehrlc, the we'll known his
torian who has been prerect of the
Vatican Library since 1896, is shortly
to retire from his important post, and
Monsignor Ratti, director o. the Am
brosian Library Of Milan. has been
selected by the Pope to succeed him.
Tho manuscripts contained in the
Vatican Library number over 10000
and surpuss not only in number but
also Ill value and interest those of all
other libraries in the world combined
because they have been accumulated
since practically the beginning of the
Christian era. 1t will be NECESSARY for
rather Ehrle to remain in charge for
mt least another couple of years In or
der that he may hand over to his sue
cessor these manuscript treasures.
which must be identified one nv one
ihe Pope OH the suggestion of the
fe,irlng librarian has awaited himself
OF this detailed examination of MANU-
scripts. which takes place whenever a
now project Is appointed. to reform the
methods heretofore adopted for their
preservation. The manuscripts arc en-
closed In low wooden cupboards called
nrlnadii." about five feet high, the
doors of which are richly decorated.
according to the plan in use for CEN
turtles In Rome. which was to combine
art galleries and libraries and thus give
room to hang pictures on the wallis
over tho books.
While every precautIon is taken for
tho preservation OF the manuscripts
from moths and dnmpnoss this old
System OF keeping them has its great
drawbacks In case of fire. us the cun-
boards arc naturally not freproof
Father Ehrlo suggested t. tho Pops
tl'at every cupboard when possible
should DO converted into a stronxbox
or Hnfo perfectly tlrcproor, and that
two or three large rooms should be
specially built with walls covered with
stoel plntos or other non -innammable
material. TO which tho manusoripts
that cannot 10 kept In cupboards could
be removed.
Ills suggestion has been fully an.
proved by the Popc. who still recalls
tho flre in tho Vatican library shortly
after his election. which hut for tho
Intervention Of tho italian f,romon
might have had disastrous results, and
the necessary arrangements have now
been mado to havo the Vatican n,nnu-
scripts preserved in such - why as Ia
Insure their safety and integrity.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
mora Mulcahey,
Amy mulcaHey,
"nattsav null .cahav ,,
Tho Man With the Umbrella,

A sculptor's adventure during the
taxi strike is told by Paris contem.
porary. The artist is renowned for his
resourcefulness and his humor. Over.
taken by a downpour of rain near din.
ner time, he took refuge in doorway
There was no taxi to be obtained,
the fiacres that passed we're full, and
there was no prospect Of the rain
abating. At the moment a gentleman
passed, we'll dressed and carrying a
large umbrella. The sculptor saw his
opportunity, shook hands with the
stranger and installed himself under
the umbrella. 1t was coincidence
that they should have met; he had
been looking out for his acquaintance
for the past fortnight. He talked in
cessantly about hypothetical family
and other matters until they reached
the studio.
Then the sculptor discovered his
mistake and apologized. The apology
was accepted coldly, so the man with
the umbrella was invited to inspect
the studio. He declined and babe eau
revoir." The sculptor entertained his
family with the ruse. One member
remarked that his tie was disordered.
He put up his hand. His pin was
missing. So were his watch and
purse.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
What Caused the Cheering.

Secretary Knox's experience with
the Central American crowd was not,
as he supposed, cheering for him, but
applauding local idol in his party,
recalls the story told by a sportsman
who went fishing last summer on the
Pecos river.
Leaving the train at Glorietta, he
took a wagon for W1ndsor's ranch. 1t
was a long, hard pull for 81 miles, and
the sportsman looked eagerly for the
resort long before 1t came into view.
Finally the wagon rounded a point,
and Windsor's ranch was revealed l,e-
low. Almost as soon as 1t appeared
the wagon in turn was discovered
from tho ranch. Some Is or 40 men
boiled out of the cabins, and re-
mendous cheer arose in the valley.
The sportsman WAS at once puzzled
and flattered.
"Great Scott" he exclaimed. "ls
that for me?"
The driver c'apped on the brakes
and reared back on the lines.
For you?" he laughed. mot on
your life. I'm bringin' the boys ten
gallons O. whisky!"- Louis Post
Dispatch.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
Ono on the Proofroonn.

There are few words In the un.
abridged dictionary that have not at
some time invaded the proofroom of
this office, but one came in the other
day, an utter stranger. 1t was in the
body of an astronomical article.
This beats me-" said proofreader
No. 1 to the copyholder. Lets see
the copy"
There it was written in with q
heavy hand in the blacklist Of black
Ink.
tits got more legs than a spider"
said the proofreader. Only six letters
In the word, and FIVE of 'em below the
line.
There It was syzygy-three OF the
six letters are VS..
What does the blooming word
mean?" asked the copyholder. The
proofreader for the first time in many
moons declined to give an opinion.
The dictionary was consulted. "Syz.
ygy-the point of an orbit, as of the
moon or q planet at which it is in con-
junction or opposition" The word IL
pronounced sizz-e-gee.
Sounds like tho cracker to col.
lege YELL" said tho proofreader as he
closed the book.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
Orab China,

Not q single little Chinese hat with
q button is to be seen in Wuchang to.
day, but such an assortment of caps
upon badly barbered heads-caps- of
ordinary English make and stranger
varieties made from native fabrics;
felt hats Of every description, from
the soft green, called Alpine, to Eng.
lands familiar billycock. One coolie
was seen carrying water with his
bamboo over his shoulder glorious in
q silk topper. Nearly all the queues
are gone.
I hear of Chinese gentlemen on all
sides fastening to discard their charm
Ing silk gowns, white socks and pic
turesque shoes for ordinary prosaic
Euror dress. begin to fear that
I me 'ever see a gorgeous mandarin
In all his grandeur of robes and UNI
brellas and lovely, buttoned peacock
feathered hat again. It. seems posi-.
bic, and even probable. that mandarins
oh, and the pity Of it! they were so
beautlful-may become just ordinary
mortals. Fancy a mandarin in frock
coat and black silk hat!-Wuchang
correspondent Pail Mall Gazette.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
Willing 70 Accommodate

willing to Accommodate.
A New York Justice got jolt the
other day, and he is telling the story
Of 1t yet. He said that late one after.
noon he gave a.case to q Jury and that
It, was 4: 80 o clock the following morn.
ing before the Jury agreed upon q
verdict. 49,
II waited for the verdict" said the
justice, land after it was returned I
told the Jurors that as It was possible
that most Of them were married men
If they desired I would give to each
a certificate that he had been detained
until 1880 o'clock in the morning on
Jury service. -
"The Jurors consulted together for
. few minutes" continued the Justice.
"and then the foreman arose and
said: 1--WE thank you for your consid-
Grafton and appreciate the kindness Of
your offer and debire to say that II
your honor: needs a. certificate to the
effect that you were detained until
1880 o'clock In the morning waiting
for our verdict we will gladly 80 GER
tify.'" ~
The Justice hastily declined this
kind offer with thanks, and Just az
hastily adjourned court-Law Notes.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
Poisonous Snuff.

All sorts of odd ways of being poi
soned by lead are recorded in medical
history: The man who regularly took
the first glass Of beer each morning in
a saloon, the beer standing over night
in the lead pipe running from the key
to the bar spigot; the maid using the
first glass Of water from the tap sup.
piled by lead service pipe; the
painter VINO ate his luncheon every
day with paint-covered hands; the
painter apprentice who slept in the
back room with the paint pals and
white lead kegs. It might reasonably
have been expected that the POSSIBLE.
tiles in the way Of surreptitious lead
poisoning had been exhausted. Not
SO. It was recently discovered, after
the death Of a woman who had been
suffering from mysterious case Of
lead poisoning not affecting any other
members of her family that she was
an inveterate snutf taker. The snuff
was examined and found to be badly
contaminated with lead from the. foil
In which it vas wrapped.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
New Yorker. DESIGN Accented.


The Perry Memorial commission
has approved the design of ]. H. Fried
lander of New York for a permanent
memorial at Put-in-Bay, O., to COM
memorate the centennial of Perry's
victory at Lake Erie, which will be
celebrated In 1913 Mr.. Friedlander
received highest honors in a competi-
tion In which ffty-four designs were
received, and the award carries with
1t q contract to supervise the erec-
ton Of the memorial, upon which
100000 will be expended. The memo
rial will be in the form OF a Dor1c
column. 800 feet high, with a spec
tators' gallery and light at the top.
It will stand on plaza, at one end OF
which will be historical museum,
while at the other end will be erected
building to symbolic the 100 years
of peace which have prevailed be-
tween the United States and England.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
LIndau and the Kaiser.

Paul Lindau. in the Memories Of My
Life, relates that after the per-
tormance Of his Countess Leah" in
Berlin, the old Emperor William, who
had been present at the play, sent for
him to congratulate him upon his fine
WORK and the favor It had won.
"Only," he added, az II casually, and
without the least phasis, ut is a
pity that the titled officers do not play
w brilliant part in IT,"
l.. IN the emperor had dismissed
.au, with q gracious nod. the man.
Ager, de Hulsen, came to the author,
md said:
II am sorry that I can no longer
pr luce your piece. It promised to
have a long run"
"But Why" asked the astounded
author; "the emperor pad me very
6attering compliments and appeared
be much pleased With the piece"
"Ah! but my dear doctor" replied
the courtier. "his majesty never ex-
presses his censure more strongly
from the Bookman. ~
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
TAKE Time TO ENJOY
LITTLE SENSE IN ovERWoRKlNo
TO THE BREAKING POINT.
Virtue That is Excellent, In Modera
tlon, Can be Transformed into q
Wicklow Ono Woman Con.
serves Her Strength.

"She's making big money" said a
man to me the other day, speaking
of mutual acquaintance. a woman
| who, beside editing a magazine. had
recently undertaken to write series
of articles that would require lot OF
research. "but what she needs is to
learn to spend some Of 1t. What's the
good of money In the bank to a dead
person. She is overworking herself
to the breaking point"
The savings bank habit Is a mighty
good one, but you don't want to let 1t
get the best of you. You can overdo
prudence just as you can anything. A
virtue that grows to be an obsession
cannot be distinguished from vice.
There are times when you ought to
be extravagant, ought to give your
self 1.-The best there is," and think 1t
none too good. We all know what it
Is to feel stale. If We realized that
severe nervous breakdowns often
start with that same stale" feeling
We might learn to regard 1t more seri.
ously than we do.
When you feel "all tuckered out"
cash a check at the bank and run
down to Atlantic City for couple OF
days. They'll do you more good than
month after the doctor has ordered
rest. One woman know takes four
days every month to play in. going on
Wednesday night and returning Mon.
day morning.
no h4 hol
day on the other Saturdays to which
she ia entitled, you see she doesn't
really lose much time, She leaves
town either alone or with chum who
won't expect her to be "sociable," goes
to the sea or the hills or to somo 9TH
Or city. puts up at simple hotel
where the food is good, and just plays.
You would never think, II you met her
on one Of these jaunts. that she knew
what work was. She always takes
good book with her, one Of the "old
fellows" az she calls them, and drops
The magazines and papers, clearing her
mind of everything in the least like
her usual routine. One in a while she
goes to visit friend, but as rule she
prefers the greater freedom Of hotel.
And she comes back to her work
woman refreshed and radiant, thor.
pughly convinced that her time and
money both have been well spent.
Many of us think we can't do things
because we haven't tried. Perhaps few
Of us can arrange to pool our holidays
and have to do the best we Gun with
those that come along in the regular
course. But we ought to give ourselves
real treat once In while, for there
Is no greater tonic in the world than
enjoyment. You don't always need to
spend money for TIA lot of enjoyment
comes as free as sunsets, a child's
laugh or good walk. But It Is better
10 spend little money foolishly, or
what seems foolishly. on oneself every
now and then, instead of to be forever
saving up for that "rainy day" we live
In 'uch terror of meeting You can't
b health, serenity and a growing
fund of pleasant memories-Hilde.
garde Hawthorne.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
Ono Husbsar Of Family Life.

Ono Busbear Of Family Life.
The thing just hate about being
at home." said young business wom-
an, ''is that you never have anything
Of your own at home. Everything
seems to belong to the whole fam.
ily."
It is unfortunate that in many fam.
lilies that the members are not
taught to respect each others prop
erty or privacy. It adds to every day
annoyance and limitations to have
some one else write with your per-
sonal pen and spoil its point, or some
one else to borrow your new kimono,
or your last envelope. just when you
need 1t yourself.
Family 1ffe would lose many of its
bugbears II children in early life were
taught to respect each others private
belongings. II the home. is to be
CHEEKY, pleasant and altogether worth
while there must be some restraint
put on the sense Of common property.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
Don't Miss Ii!
Catholic Educators Will Meet.

The convention Of the Catholic Edu-
cational Association is scheduled to
be held here next June "a to ~. The
honorary president Of the association
Is James Cardinal Gibbons
Dignitaries Of the Catholic Church
of the United States and delegates
representing 225 colleges for boys.
eight universities, sos colleges for girls,
50 seminaries 1872 parochial schools.
with 1,270,131 children, will attend, to
express their views on Catholic edu-
cation. The delegates will Include a
large number Of both men and women.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
WELCOME THE "GRAD"
SWEET coLLEoIANs PROMISE no.
MEsTIc REVOLUTION,
New Method Of DISTINGUISHING May 30
Only the Beginning Of Better Thinas
Vast Field for Her Inoenu.
ity 10 Before Her.

There's something new under the
sun. after ALL" remarked the troubled
tourist. Here's woman college grad.
uate who says the college woman can
devise new methods of washing the
dishes.
If that's the case, then she's got
the helpful husband beaten a mile,
for up to the ti''"e of this new discoy.
cry he has had the record for new
methods Of dish-washing by the sim.
pie expedient Of turning the hose on
them. 1t was quick and fairly eff
cacious way Of disposing of a whole
tubful Of dishes at one fell swoop
and babe fair to revolutionize house.
keeping methods. It was invented, I
think, by man whose wife left him
to tend the fiat while she took a two
weeks vacation. Now, however, if tho
college woman is out inventing new
dish-washing methods. mere man will
have to sidestep. His occupations
gone. / don't know what these new
dish-washing methods may be, but
my advice to bachelors is to put in
their applications at once to all senior
classes in women's colleges and try
to get wife and q new dish-washing
method at one and the same time.
AS a dish juggler the sweet girl
graduate ought to lead the world.
1T seems to me that the college
woman of today is going in the do.
nestle field. It looks like q soft
thing for her husband. He won't have
to settle single dispute. All he'll
settle will be the bills. The high cost
of living needn't worry him in the
least. Let his college wife settle that.
All he'll have to do is to worry If he
is laid up and can't attend to his
Job. She'll go down to the office and
settle the business for him. She'll
probably settle the blonde stenog-
rapher first, and attend to the details
later.
see that up in York state mail
carrier was unable to deliver his let
tiers and his wife went out and cover.
ed his district for him. There you
have it. That's just what the new
dish-washing college graduate wife is
going to do-because she can settle
everything.
IF she has any doubt along about
election time that he isn't going to
vote the right way, she can promptly
lock him up and 60 out and vote for
him. If she thinks he's not up to his
usual form at cards she can keep him
at home and go take his place at the
club Saturday night.
IF there's to be any sitting up with
sick friend she can do II for him,
and spare him the long visit. 1 paint,
ed this happy future to cynical bach.
elor friend of mine and the only com.
ment I could get him to make was
Wake up, you're In Boston, "-Hous.
ton Press. u.,-
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-04-20
A Rockefeller Fake,

TITS q Rockefeller fake" said q
Philadelphia broker, zone Of those in.
Vulnerable Rockefeller fakes that float
around the country, but, fake or not,
I'll tell 1t to you.
"John D. ESQ the fake runs) got q
very suspicious looking cake by mail
the other day. He wrapped 1t up in a
newspaper and took it to chemist.
rs this likely to be poisoned? he
asked.
"'It certainly looks like poisoned
cake to me- said the chemist. Leave
It here And he smelled 1t, then he
tasted and spat out a very tiny cur
rant. Leave 1t here. Mr.. Rockefel-
Ter. I'll analyze 1t for you
"'How much will the analysis cost!'
""Ten dollars. SIR
"John D. bundled up the cake in
the newspaper again.
Humph!' he said, as he tucked It
under his arm, 'it'll be cheaper to try
e on Archbold.s cat'"