The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1912-11-28

] give Mr.. Gobbler. Next day blame
my hide if it wasn't twicet as big as
it had been!
THAT give me my idee l drove that
gobbler away over to the far end O
the farm an penned it up, and from
then on l fed it three times a day.
Every day | give it a peck O Alpha
bets rapid grower. Alphabet kept
Wonderin what was becomin' O. his
powder, an finally got to work on a
theory that this petickler ingrejunt O.
tn system was so pecooliarly con-
structed that it nachly faded out O.
existence, which was, accordin' to his
theory, the reason people that don't
grow fast or big don't grow at all.
Purity good theery, but, like most thee
ries, it was faulty in jest one petick-
Ter
We'll, you'd ought to "a seen Mr..
GObbler. Gentlemen, take my word
for it or not. in one months time it
was big as horse, an by the first O
November it was bigger n an ele
plant.
Along come a huckster, buyin'
Thanksgivin' turkeys. Lowed he'd
pay 20 cents a pound for EN-. l SEE
to him l had one gobbler I'd sell him,
pervidin' he'd take it alive. Told him
| was busy man, what with my re-
searChin' an other scientific work, an
didn't have no time for KILN an
cleanin' turkeys. Huckster said he'd
take tn gobbler jest as it stood. So
piked off to tn back corner O. tn
farm, let down tn bars, an 'druv tn
gobbler up to tn college.
Honest, l was scared of it myself.
1t stood twenty feet high, an built ac-
cordin. That turkey was big enough
to furnish church dinners for all tn
churches in this state But it was as
gentle as lamb. Only thing about it
was its voice. I'd forgot to tell about
that. When it gobbled it made more
noise than a house afire. Well,
drove it up to tn college, an tn fac
ulty an tn huckster an tn students
an all was there-an' they blame nigh
died with astonishment.
Just think how. you'd feel If all
Of sudden right down a lane would
come turkey as big as a freight car,
an if just when it got about forty feet
from you it spread a tail as big as a
circus tent and began gObbling in
voice that could be heard in the next
county, Why, tn faculty nachly duck
ed right inside tn college instanter,
an III bIclSta,, yt-ac 60 cnarat h. i11r,,r,
ed into his wagon an tried to hide in
one of his coOps that was full of rOost-
ers an hens an turkeys an guineas.
Then my turkey, bein' a shy and TIM
id creetur, got scaret, too, an it
flew up on top O tn Hall O Libral
Arts an let out a gobble that sounded
like a million freight trains BLOWN
for tn flag man all at once Seem
ed like that was tn first time it ever
knew it could fly. Il Topped its wings
once or twice, knocking all tn climb
leys off tn buildin in tn exercise, an
then started right up in tn air. an
was never seen since. No, sirs. no
body ever seen hide nor feather of it
from that day to this.
SO that was why | lost my job at
tn college. Alphabet he got sore be
cause Id stole his quick-growin 'medi-
cine, an tn rest O. tn faculty got
mad because they'd got scared over
little scientific experiment. They pass
ed tn word around an | couldn't get
work at no other college in tn coun-
try. so at last | made up my mind to
settle down here in what is as near
oblivion as | can find an seek to be
forgotten. l wouldn't a told you fell
lers about thishyere turkey, only I
know you'll respec' my confidence"
What became Of the huckster,
Am zip asked Lafayette Allen, tug
ging at his whiskers.
Well now, that's just what started
me to rememberin' thishyere turkey.
saw that same huckster goin' through
town today, an how | knowed it was
him was that he kept watchin the sky
all tn time, expeCtin to see thishyere
turkey come down TO roost"
That's pretty near as good story
Am'zi,' said the grocer, preparing to
close the store for the night, as you
usually tell me when l dun you for
that little bill of yours"
LApn tn HECInE