Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-15

chance.
Ever time the scientists cant get
their names liz the paper any other
way they sit down and plan out a
new comet or a new niicrobe and pat
IT over on the unsuspecting public.
Anne Hilliker is lettin' his hair grow
DOWN over his ears. so II everything
else fails he can establish a new cult
and make it support him.
There amt no use in trying to do
nothing for some people. Hank
Tumms sent Hold Peters name to an
anti-fat concern and Hold amt spoke
TO him since. Holds mail has almost
clogged the machinery of the local
postoffice.
Half OF the kid in this world make
up their minds they will be street car
conductors when they grow up. and
the other half make up their minds 20
be drum majors.
The reason a Teller never takes
much interest In a letter With an is-
inglass front is that it always con-
tains a bill.
No Teller. not ever a president or a
justice OF the supreme court. kin look
dlgnifled when his necktie is climbin'
over his collar behind.
Lem Higgins is so lazy he kin sit
on a barbed wire fence for an hour and
d half.
II a Teller hasn't got any record be-
fore he enters the race for the presi-
dency. he gen'ally has one before he
gets through.
1t is just gettin' so that a Teller kin
amount to something in this world
without havin' got his education by
the blaze OF a pine knot in a log cabin.
1t always pays a Teller to know how
to say No" especially in leap year.
What has become of the old-fash-
Toned gal who used to think it her duty
to help mother wash the dishes?
IN 0Yo I 20 h 4 Y ~ ~ -, ~. v@-A
in this country who doesn't know how
to trim cuffs with a pair OF shears.
Personal.
Angie-You say your hair is too
hair light by using a little peroxide.
g. F C.-You complain that she
that you don't know what to do
about IT. Shake hands with your
self. old man. The cost OF living is
going to be high this summer.
Lutle-lf You want heavy reading
get one of those unabridged diction-
aries that weights about 25 pounds.
Fank-We ave looked all through
the comniled game laws just issued
at Washington and can't find a word
about the game of six-hand euchre.
You will have to ask somebody else.
ABOUT THE TARIFF.
A Michigan statesman was look
Ing for reelection to a small office
and was addressing an enthusiastic
meeting. In the audience. however.
was one gentleman who evidently
hailed from Missouri.
The speaker waxed eloquent upon
the grand old flag. the civil war and
the price OF pearl buttons in Peru.
What do you think Of the tarif?"
yelled the inQuisitive one.
II was just comm to that" re-
piled the speaker. Look at Wash
ington. the father Of his country.
Look at Abraham"
What do you think of the tarifr?"
insisted he man in the audience.
What did u soldiers do at Get
tysburg and Antetan? I'll tell you"
What do you think of the tarifr?'
almost screamed the impatient lis
| tener.
These Interruptions continued for a
half hour when the speaker, finally
driven to desperation. said: s.I'll tell
you what l think of the tariff. 1 have
made a careful study of 1t. 1 think
that where it is too high. it should
be lowered, and where it is too Low
1T should be highered."
4 right yelled the nan in the
audience. that's all 1 wanted to
make sure Of"
IHE
The Regular Teller is one who kin
smile
When everything goes dead wrong;
Kin smile with a smile that's free
from all guile
And tinker up some sort OF song.
The Regular Teller kin whistle a tune
When things seems to be breaking
bad,
He tries to be happy with what he
has got
Forgetting what he might have had.
The Regular Teller don't talk all the
while.
Like rattlebrained fellers all do,
But. he says something, just
make up your mind
It's something worth listenin' to.
The Regular Teller don't tell what he's
done,
Or big things he's going to do soon.
He just goes and does 'em and keeps
his mouth shet.
His secrets he tells to the MOON.
The Regular Teller has no time to
stOOp
And dig into other folks ground.
Fol small village scandal he cares not
q whoop.
He passes no gossip around.
The Regular Teller speaks well Of his
kind.
Or else he a nothing at all.
There's no room for rubbish or Junk
In his mind.
No room for the thoughts that are