Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-07

the United states and Japan. just as
You told me to, and he gave be a Very
charming reply in Japanese. / don't
know what 1t meant, but if it meant
what it sounded like it meant war. and
bitter, cruel war. very soon. You know
what General Sherman said war was.
Well, the ambassadors conversation
sounded just like that.
MIR. Chang Yin Tang, who sounds
like one of those banjo solos you heal
IN vaudeville, is the envoy eXtraordi-
nary n minister plenipotentiary from
China. and presides over Il Very elab-
crate chop suey mansion on Nineteenth
street which is known automatically as
the Chinese embassy. l haNe not eaten
many meals there, as ] have never
been ~passionately fond of Chinese cook
ing. The first time l dined there | had
to use chop sticks, and figured that it
would take NE about is years to get
g square meal by that method of trans
portatlon. l simply ruined that laven-
der silk vest of mine.
You know tha vest. 1t buttoned up
so close under my chin that l didn't
have to wear any shirt With it. 1t has
come in handy in Washington for.
since j have been here. L have had to
part with my shirts one at a time to
keep pace With the brunette gentlemen
who work the "black hand racket on
me about every three minutes. Having
no SHIRT T. no vest, | am wearing Il
striped Weater l got for Christmas.
My valet is trying to negotiate the
loan of a shirt from the barber down
stairs so that l can attend the next
diplomatic reception at the White
House. 1t is almost necessary to wear
one there.
have struck Il great bargain here.
1t is possible to buy almost anything
you want in WASHINGTON and a great
many things chat you do not want. A
certain class of gentlemen make a bust
ness of selling relics. This morning
| bought from one in front of our
hotel the chair in which George Wash
lnston sat when he wrote the declara-
t!on of Independence. 1t is Il hand
some chair of antique design. and l ex-
pect to present it to the Kent Scientific
museum when I get home. got it
for s3l. which / consider to be a very
reasonable price, all things considered.
Later: The clerk at the hotel says
chan proposition. He says George
Washington didn't write the declara-
ton of independence. He says Henry
Clay wrote it. The porter says John
Z. Calhoun wrote it, and the elevator
boy says George AIDE wrote 1t. They
~A ~ W. 2tC SthiS SSOI SE w dSI-
ington didn't write it, ana that is all
that interests me.
Still later: l ann quite convinced now
that the gentleman who sold me the
chair drew upon his Imagination. I
have since turned the chair over. and
on the bottom find the trade mark
Of the Berkeley & Gay Furniture COM
pany, Grand Rapids. Mich.
TIE Washington social season is now
on. full tilt. and l find that i got here
Just in time. There was an oyster So
church on Ninth street last evening,
and a pound social at the parsonage
of the Colorcd Baptist church on f.
street night before last.
Acting upon you instructions, !, went
to see Senator Curtis. the fu%ll-blooded
Indian member of the upper house, but
he had very little to say. I attributed
this. of course, to his Indian reserva-
ton.
Senator William Alden Smith. of
Mlehlgan. is chairman of the committee
on Canadian relations. He has been
more than kind in Offering to do what
he can for me-. but 1 have no relatives
in Canada whom l care to have him do
anything for-none bout to die and
leave me money.
If he were only the chairman of the
committee on expenditures, now, I
might be able to use him to great adj
vantage. My expenditures need a chair
man or something of that sort very
badly.
a GREEN HORN IN WASHINGTON
Washington, Feb. l3.-Dear Editor:
They have a cute little custom here
of taking your clothing out of your room
at night and having it nicely pressed.
In other words. they press while you
sleep. A pleasant faced Senegambina
got my fawn-colored trousers away
from me at o'clock last night. / say
my "fawn-colored trousers to delude
our readers into believing that j have
other trousers, but you know, man to
man. down i'm your heart of hearts,
that III l say my '~fawn-colored
trousers" l mean nay all-all the
trousers l have. You at least will
appreciate the point Of this story. 1t
was only Z O'Clock and 1 told him /
wasn't ready to go to bed, but he said
that would simply nave to go to bed
right then or not have them pressed,
as he had to go to a dance. / suppose
! should have been suspicious, but /
am of a trusting disposition, and there
is considerable about the colored pop
ulation of this town that 1 have yet
to learn.
Just before jumped into bed /
happened to glance out of the Win
dow in time to see my fawn-colored
trousers disappearing down Pennsyl-
wanna avenue escOrtlng a cOlOred lady
with a green parasol.
The young gentleman was arrested
for hourishing a razor while at the
dance, and is now in Jail with my
trousers on. 1t is a good thing i
brought my long-tailed %overcoat to
Washington or / woul not now be
able to leave my room.