The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-31
what a conceited ass you are. Tom.

What conceited ass you are, Tom.
/ had reference to my shower"
The door closed Just in time to re-
ceive q well-aimed boot.
BY II the men were ready and on
their way to the house. AS they near
ed It, Tom became more and more
nervous. There seemed TO be weight
on his heart that he could not lift. At
that moment the best man was hang
ing out the cab window, cursing the
driver for the snaillike pace they
were pursuing.
II say, Cabby this is a wedding that
we are going to, not funeral. Ill
give you an extra half dollar IL you
hurry"
AN extra half. is it? You talk like
a politician. Well. sir, you might cor
rupt me. but this horse can't be bribed
and weddin's or funerals, his gait Ia
all the same. Rest easy while you
can, sir--the lady will drive you fast
enough once she gets the reins."
The best man was about to rail at
the Irish as nation. when Tom said:
"Tf anything should happen"
jumping Jupiter. Tom, brace up.
You look as IL you had curvature of
the spine. Pull yourself together, will
your Any girl that had such a look
ing object as you on her calling list
would be ostracized by good society
and one who would marry you would
be declared mentally incompetent"
Cali right, I'll pull up, but I've a
beastly idea that something Is going
wrong. Jack, old man, I can't do it.
I'm in love with Edna Cross and not
with Eleanor. I've Just begun to real
lie It,"
you old poacher, then why did you
ask Eleanor to marry you. when you
knew that | have loved her all my
life, and / have been trying to forget
her for months? Night after night /
went over and sat with Edna. trying
to make myself think was forgetting
Eleanor"
"And every night" said Tom, II
went to see Eleanor because you were
over at Edna's and l had no right to
trespass on your preserves. A nice
mess we've made Of 1t. What are we
going to do?"
do? Why, that's easy enough" as
sured Jack. 81 am going to be the
groom and you can Just slide back In
to my boots as best man. Well blame
the whole thing on the printer Trust
me, old man. said I'd see you
through this ordeal. and I'm going to
keep my word"
As the cab finally reached the house
the men stepped out and were usher
ed into the room where the minister
was waiting for them. No word OF ex-
PLANTATION was uttered. and the men
took their places by the minister. who
was to pronounce them man and wife.
The wedding march was played and
as Eleanor in her gorgeous robes
came forth to meet the man Of her
choice, Jack Winston stepped forth
and offered her his arm. Eleanor was
speechless, but too happy to resent.
and before the gaping crowd the min
lister tied the knot that made them
one It'll death'do them part"
Then Jack began his explanations:
Simplest thing In the world" he
said. you see, Tom ordered the In
vitations, and OF course the printer
took It for granted that II was his
wedding-merely typographical err
ror, nothing more"
Eleanor's mother stepped in at this
moment and with a naughty manner
inquired:
Then may l ask why Tom gave the
bachelor dinner-why Tom bought the
ring3"
Yes. mother" said Jack, with a
very proprietary manner. You see.
was broke at the time. and Tom. as
you all know, Is Just loaded with mon
ey. SO I gave him carte blanche to
Just go ahead as II 1t was his own
| wedding and I'd pay him back In good
time. You see. l only came into my
inheritance yesterday. and that would
have been too late to order invitations,
give dinners, etc. Anyway. how could
| you ever think that Tom was going to
marry Eleanor? Why, he's engaged
to marry Edna, and II you don't be-
lieye me, ask them for yourself, l
tell you 1t was typographical error
nothing more"
The color that suffused Edna's face.
and the smile that glorified Jacks
verified the statement, and the guests
were In futter OF pleasurable ex-
element when. In the corner. Jack
was shaking Tom by the hand and
saying:
Didn't tell you I'd see you
through 1t, old man?"