Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-05-19

A man dropped in to see a show The
theater was crowded downstairs so he
went up to the gallery and wedged him.
self In vacant inch-oh say. six inches
and proceeded to have a good time
He is a chubby man, and luck placed
him next to a woman who was fat Not
chubby. Fat. Having over-bulged her
| own lawful boundaries she started in to
pre-empt the mans share. She pushed and
pushed. and when she couldn't push any
!! more she turned on him with the express
sion Of cat that has got its back up
and is splitting:
If you'll stop crowding me. I'll be more
comfortabler'
The man. besides being chubby. is a
fine fellow who loves his family does
good work with first-class brain, and
has for all women the chivalry that
comes from belonging to what the Old
Dominion calls an F. f. Y. But he has
his limits.
IF you don't stop crowding me,
madam, you'll be in my lap
The woman glared and turned her
back.
The man chuckled.
And IL Rudyard had been around he
would probably have added another
verse to 1.-THE Female of the Species
A man was watering the grass around
= government UuuOlnS.
The grass was already drenched with
rain. with more rain coming down, but
the man with the hose paid no atten-
ton. He was watering the grass.
As the clerks of the department crowded
out of the building and along the wind
ing paths there We're chuckles and ejacu-
latiOns under hundreds of bObbing UNI
brellas. But the man with the hose paid
no attention. He was watering the grass
One clerk was curious enough to pause
nH L. ~ vryifh hos 40
made him water the grass on rainy day.
He got his information:
I'm paid by the government to water
this grass every Gay, and I'm doing my
duty
Which seems to show that Casabianca
wasn't the only member of his class.
A man and his obvious wife were pick
ing their way across a torn-up street that
had reached the wet tar stage.
The man was pOrtly, with double chin.
The woman was tired-looking little
thing, with lines between her eyes. She
carried a market basket and the family
umbrella.
The man was weighted down with
dandy cane. which he ficked to accent
his remarks:
IF the people of this town had any
spunk they'd kick at an outrage like this.
There isn't even a haif-size plank to
cross on. And it's the same thing all
over the city: either they're tearing up
tracks or tearing down houses. or run
ming sewer pipes under the earth or rear
ing Offices into the sky-always some
thing 10 keep the walking in mess.
Seems like the automobiles might show
little consideration once in a while"
And to a spinster person who was tip
ping on the plank behind the woman II
seemed as il man who demanded con-
sideration from our city fathers might
show a little consideration himself by
relieving his wife of either the basket or
the umbrella.
Still, il the wife had been called on
for an opinion she would probably have
expressed a contemptuous pity for any
poor spfnster who lacked portly hus-
band with a double-deck chin.
It's funny world anyhow you fix 1t.
He wore yellow pumps and lilac hose.
his green fedora was tilted over a head
already shaved to midsummer baroness
and he was so stocky that as ne sprawl
ed over an entire cross seat Of the car