The Washington herald., 1912-01-21
LYCANDER JOHN
And Ills FAMILY
He Loses Chance of Causing a
Sensation When His
Mother Dies.
By FRANCES L. GARsIDE.

With that total disregard Of an oppor-
tunity TO create a sensation by waiting
till he received word that his mother was
dying and then hiring a special train to
reach her deathbed, Lysander John Ap-
pleton hastened to his old home as soon
as she fell i'll. and stayed with her for
three weeks till the end came.
He always was blind to the oppor-
tunities for attracting public attention" {"
complained his wife, who realized that
a special train at the last hour is the
fashionable way of showing fiIial afrec-
tion.
He was gone four weeks. and when he
returned he experienced such surprise
that he is still gaspinE.
He let himself in with a latchkey and
walking into the living-room saw two
wondrously beautiful ladies sitting there.
The elder, with hair as black as a
ravens wing, a complexion that suggest
ed peach blossoms in spring, a skin
without a wrinkle, and form that
would save her money in buying ready
made garments, sat with her eyes fixed
on the ceiling: and the other, tall and
wiIlowy, as the novelist would say,
though il is beyond comprehension why
II should be considered a compliment to
say a woman is willowy when the willow
tree is notoriously round-shouldered, was
admiring her golden hair and perfect
complexion in a mirror.
MarveIed at Change.
Il beg you pardon stammered Ly-
sander John, Il am looking for my wife
and daughter"
We are your wife and daughter" said
the raven-haired woman. Come in. and
don't stand there like a fool
But my wife" said Lysander John,
has a figure that looks like a feather
bolster with a string around the middle
and her hair is gray, and that peach
over there doesn't resemble Daysey
MRyme."
I'VE have been made over" said the
woman. with her eyes still on the cell
ing. Since you left We have devoted our
days to messages, lotions, cold creams,
hot sand baths and methods for eradi
eating wrinkles and reducing the hips,
and behold the result!' with a sweep OF
her hand toward Daysey Mayme which
included herself.
Lyssnder John dropped into a chair.
dazed and bewildered. Would he ever
have the courage TO ask dreams like
these two women to darn his socks, mix
up a mustard plaster and fry an egg?
Would It not be profanity TO expect that
aIabastor hand of his wife to patch his
pajamRs2 Would he ever dare TO stroke
hair as marvelously gold and elaborate
as his daughters?
He felt lonesome, ugly, neglected,
abused; they had no right to be born
again and let him remain in the old
world of misshapes and derelicts.
Too Busy to Look at Him.
why don't you look at me?" he COM
planned to his wife, who still had her
eyes on the ceiling.
I am reducing my double chin" she
replied, land can't look lower than the
picture molding. II you want me TO
see how you look climb on top Of the
piano"
But you." he stammered to Daysey
Mayme, ARE not reducing a double chin.
Can't you look at me and show me you
are glad I am back?''
"A part of the cure" said his daugh-
ter, stiu gazing at her image in the mir
ror, is 10 keep ones eyes and thoughts
on the beautiful"
Lysander John stumbled out OF the
room with a groan. He had lost his
mother, and beauty specialists had
caused him TO lose his wife and daugh-
ter!
II don't believe" he said. addressing
the two fat pillow cushions in his den,
that a duck Matched in an incubator
and given to a hen to raise was ever
more lonesome"