New-York tribune., 1912-01-14
SUNDAY MAGAZINE FOR JANUARY IA, 1912

helm afraid Of any comic horseplay durn the ceremony
or Of bein mobbed afterwards
"You dear!" SAYS Wee. But Teddy
"Corked up tighter'n a bottle OF olives" says !.
You'd best get EN- under way, though while the goin
good.
A Nd, say. expect for the kind, it was a perfectly
n good home wcddin' Never saw Marjorie look
more ike captive balloon. though than she did in that
stiff white bridal gown and veil You'd thought, too,
when Old Hickory comes paddn' in with her on his
arm that he lust been sentenced for life Some Of the
bridesmaids was queens, all right but they all looked
white and scared as they parades down tryin to keep
step TO the march that was BEN piped out weak ani
faint by that gang Of kids.
Honest the only real live wire in the procession was
Wee and she even has the check 10 pass me the WINK
As She catches my eye Bcn on the outside edge OF the
crowd could only get a glimpse Of the group under
b daisy hell and hear the minister mumbln over the
service All got clear was when Ferdy is asked II he j
take Marjorie to have and hold and that I'm
shc, me- If he tries to hold her, all that be cit
Of him' be a smear the upholstery.
But it didn't take long to tie the knot once they 60.
started and the next thing knew it was all over. ami
the bridesmaids SCrambln for the bouquet. and
Marjorie was bein' hustled upstairs to get into her
travelin' clothes Then came the waters elbOWn IN
between the guests with the fancy food, and there's
lam forms in the dnin' room where the champagne
bein' passed out. Amt they lovely affairs, these
wcddin'S?
| was crowded into corner with both hands full Of
stuff I'd snitched the trays went past, and | was
irwin to put away polite with my arms pinned fast
on both sides and ladys hat trimmn ticklin my night
ear when all of a sudden there's shout Of. Here they
come and down the front stairs appears Nh and Mrs.
Ferlv.
We'll it was bad enough, just al them people s,arn'
and shoutin' things At en- without the Joyous little
roughhouse frlls Teddy and his bunch had planned.
But couldn't be hcarcSS enough to have EN- miss the
fun altogether daShcs down and out into the area,
where ii noticed a manhole cover that guessed must
open into the coalbins. Sure enough, it did, and as |
lifts it off could all the young sports gathern eX-
pecant underneath.
"Hcy Fellcrs calls, "here goes the bridal couple
and YOU re orgctin the rice How thoughtess. Her.
il isl" and | tips the whole baSketful down on en-.
"Shocs next" goes on. firm down odd ones as hard
rs | could slam EN-. Hi, hi. Let's enjoy ourselves
Who cares who gets hit at a wediin'; And You cant
soak the bride and groom the way they dcScrve-Why,
YOU can soak each other. Go to it,
Yes cxpcc, Teddy and his chums were some pccyod,
and hear they raised awful howl about It 20 Mr..
Ellns Bu, accoriin' to Wee all he lid was grn and
advise EN- 20 wash up
And Marjorie, Wee goes on. yves SO grateful She
said she wished She could hug you. She wanted me
to"
Then go on says l. "DcIvor the goods.
Silly" says Wee, pnkin up. "Ill do nothing 90, Tie
sort"
A Nd next mornn' Piidc, who'd been left hoG,n'
down the iii a, the shop, wants 70 know all ahoG,
IT, Il suppose for home wedding, says he, II "~s
rather grand affair;
oh sure says l. when it want as solemn as N
inquest it was as cheerful and lively a Sheriff auy-
ton sale with free lunch on the side. Bur nonc'n "''ne,