The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1912-10-19
CLINkER'S BAD RECORD
WHY QUIGWAY REFUSED TO
HELP HIS ELECTION.
Declares Candidate Entirely Lacking
~ Moral Character and Proves Il
by the Episode Of the
Cow.


Qulgway," said Weatherwax. swe
want to elect Clinker alderman. from
This ward. He's the finest kind of a
man, stands strong for the uplift and
ali that sort Of thing, but he ALWAYS
mas refused to have anything to do
with politics. However, we need him.
ana II the matter is placed before him
In the right way he'll consent to run
A committee Of leading citizens of the
ward will call on him this evening
ana we want you to go along and help
us persuade him to make the race
We'll, you can count me out" re-
piled Qufgway. 81 haven't any use for
Cinker, and I think our institutions
nave come to dickens of pass when
such man is even suggested for pub-
lie office. Clinker is entirely lacking
IN moral character, and it will be an
evil day for the people when he goes
into Office"
you're talking through your turban.
QufgWay. Why, Clinker has a spotless
record. You can't find a flaw in it any.
where"
We'll, that shows all you know. and
II you elect Clinker III move out of
this ward and stay out. couldn't
sleep at night If that man was in Of
fee.
Two years ago I was looking
around for a good, respectable family
COW, the kind you read about in Sun
School books. I didn't know anything
ABOUT COWS, except that they gave
milk under proper conditions, and we
wanted real milk in our house. Clink-
er heard that I was in the market for
a COW, and he came over to my place
and told me he had the very animal
wanted. had the utmost faith in
him at that time and placed myself
entirely in his hands. T told him can
didly that didn't know a cow from a
canal boat, so far as Practical informa-
ton went, and asked him, as man to
man, to give me square deal.
He placed his hand on his heart
and swore by his grandmother's nut
meg crater that the cow he was Of
1erlng for sale was perfectly refined
and ladyllke, and that she gave an
abundance of real milk So I took
him at his word, Weatherwax, and
counted out so large. gun metal dol
lars. which represented the savings
OF months. He brought the COW over
and tied her in my shed. and in the
evening I went forth with a beautiful
new tin bucket and sat down to milk
her. The next thing I knew I was
standing on my shoulder blades, and
that handsome new tin bucket was
fattened against the roof of the shed.
never saw COW as ambidextrous
with her hind 1egs-and Clinker said
she was SO tame the children could
play with her!
Il went over to his place, my blood
boiling with indignation. and he went
back home with me and surveyed the
scene Of the uprising, and had the
nerve to say that the COW kicked be-
cause L sat at her left side instead Of
her right side, when began to milk!
AS though cow cared for such tech
nicalites. That's the sort of man
Clinker is. He's a sea lawyer. who
would rather argue far-fetched points
than be just and fair. | wanted him
to take the COW back. but he wouldn't
do it. The cow was Just as he repre-
sented her. he said. and the fault was
all mine. That's the way he'll conduct
himself If he breaks into the council.
He'll say the fault is with the people
who elected him, if anything goes
wrong
"A week after bought that cow she
quit giving milk altogether She didn't
give any more milk than a lumber
wagon. and Clinker had assured me
that she would keep the family sup
piled for year l went 10 him and
read the riot act, and he asked lot of
fool questions and then took refuge in
technicalities again. He said the COW
went dry because | nli.ked her at all
hours Of the day. Did you ever hear
anything like that? There wasn't a
clock in the barn and the cow didn't
carry chronometer. and it made no
difference to her when I milked her.
And that's the kind of man you want
to elect as alderman!
When you place the destinies of
this town in the hands of men of that
character it is time for good citizens
to hike for the tall timber."-Chicago
News.