davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Imperial Valley press., 1912-12-09

No biggern my thumb, know mora
than men?
Jest show me thatl
Err prove u The bat
lEez got more brains than's in my hat,
An Ill back down, an not till tlIenl'
He argued further: ''Ner | can't see
What's The use o wings to a humble
bee
Fer to git livin' with, more'n to me
Amt my business
Importanier'n his'n is?
"That ICaruS
Was a silly cuss-
Him and his daddy Daedalus.
They might "a knowed wings made
u wax
Wouldn't stand sun-heal an hard
WhackS.
I'll make min o. luther,
Ef Sulhin' err other"
And he said to himself, as he tinkcred
and planned:
"3ul | amt goin' to show my hand
10 mummies .hal never can under
stand
The fusl idea 'ihlt's big an grand.
They'd "a lafI an made fun
O. creation itself afOre twas donc!"
SC he kept his secret from all The resi-,
safely bulIoned within his vest,
And in The loft above The shed
Il.mhsclf ne locks. with lhimble and
thread
and wax aud hammers aEd buckicS
and screws.
And all such thir@s a. genuscs use:
TWO baIs for patterns. curious fellows!
\ charcoal pot ana a pair Of bellows:
An old ho0pskiri or two, as we'll as
some wire and several old umbrellas:
\ carriage cover. for tail and wings:
i piece Of harness, and straps ana
Strings:
And big strong box
In which he locks
These and a hundred other things.
His grinning brothers. Reuben and
Burke
And Nathan and Jotham and solomon,
lurk
Around the corner to see him work
Sitting cross legged. like Turk,
Drawing the waXcd end thrOpgh with
jerk,
And boring the holes with comical
quirk
OF his wise old head, and a knowing
smirk.
But vainly they mounted each others
backs,
And poked through knotholes and pried
through cracks;
With wood from the pile and straw
from the stacks
He plugged the knotholes and calked
the cracks:
And a bucket of waller. which one
would think
He had brought into his loft to drink
When he chanced to be dry,
Stood always nigh,
For Darius was sly!
And whenever at work he happened
10 spy
At chink or crevicp a blinking eye.
He let a dipper Of water fly.
Take that! an cf ever ye git a peep.
Guess yen ketch a weasel asleep!"
And he sings as he locks
His big strong box:
''The weascl's head is small an trim
An he is leelle an long an slim,
An quick Of motion an nimble Of limb
An ef you'll be
| Advised by me
Keep wide awake when ye're kelchin
himr'
50 day after day
He stitched and tnkcred and hammered
away,
I Till at last twas done
The greatest invention under the sun
"An' now" says Darius, ''hooray fo
some fun!"
Twas lhe Fourth of July.
And The weather was dry,
II And not a cloud was on all the SIX
Save a few light fleeces, which herr
and there,
Half mist, half air,
Like foam on The ocean went flOatin-
by:
Just as lovely a morning as ever was
For nice little trip in flying ma
chine.
| urbor,rbf cuDnino HARMS ssNOyN
Imperial Valley press., 1912-12-09

seagul;
Ill dance on the chimblcys: I'll stan
on The steeple;
I'll flop up to winders an scare the
people!
I'll light on the libbe'ty pole, an crow;
An I'll say to the gawpin' fools below
What worlds this ere
That I've come near?'
Fer I'll make 'em b'lieve I'm chap
FIN the moon;
An I'll try race 'ith their Of bulloonr'
He crcpt from his bed:
And seeing the others We're gone he
said,
'Im a giItin' over the cold n my head. :
And away he sped,
TO open the wonderful box in the
shed.
His brolhers had walked but a little
way
When Jolham to Nathan CHANGED 10
say,
"Whal on airth is he up to, Iiey?"
.DOn'o'-lhe's suihin' err other to pay.
Ell he wouldn't "a stayed to hum to-
day"
Says Burke, Ills toolhache's all in his
cyeI
He never'd miss . Fn1h-o'-July,
Ef lie hcdn't got some machine to try"
Then sol the little one, spoke: "By
darn!
Les hurry back an hide n the barn
An pay him for tcIlin' us that yarn!"
"Agrcedr' Through the orchard they
creep back
Along by the fences. behind the stock
And one by one through a hole in
the wall.
In under The dusty barn they crawl,
Dressed in their Sunday garments all :
And very astonishing sight was that
When each in his cobwebbed coat anI
hat
Came up through the floor like an
ancient rat.
And there they hid;
And Reuben slid
The fastenings back and the door I'M
did
keep darkr' said he,
"While | squint an see what the is
to see"
As knights Of old put on their mail
From head TO foot
An iron suit,
Iron jacket and iron boot,
Iron breeches, and on the head
No hat, but an iron pot insteat.-
And under the chin the bail
| believe they called the thing a helm &:
And the lid they carried they called a
shield:
And. Illus accoutred, they took the
field,
Sallying forth to Overwhelm
The dragons and pagans that plagued
the realm:
50 This modern knight
Prepared for flight
Put on his wings and strapped them
light:
J0intsd and iaunty, strong and light;
Buckied them fast to shoulder an6
Ten feet they measured from tip Il
lip
And a helm had he, but that he Wore
Not on his head. like those Of yore
But more like The helm of a ship
''IIush" Reuben said,
Hes up in the shed!
He's opened the winder-I see hi
head!
He stretches it out.
An pokes it about,
Lookin' to see f the coast is clear
An nobody near!
| Guess he don'o' who's hid in here
He's riggin' q springboard over the sill
Stop lai1in'. Solomon! Burke, kee
still
He's climbin' out now-of all tn
things!
''Whal's he got on? | van, it's wings
An that tother thing? | yum. it's
tall
An there he sells like hawk on a rail
Steppin' careful, he travels the lengil
OF his springboard, an teetprs to tr
its strength.
Now he stretches his wings, Ike
mOnstrous bat:
| Peeks over Lis shoulder, this way an
that,
For to see + the's any one pasSin' by
But this only calf an a goslin' nigh
They turn up at him a wonderin' eye
To sec The dragoni he's goin' Il
fly!
Away he goes Jimmey! What
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
DANGEROUS FACTOR IN 1913
Washington Team Expected to Cut
Big Figure In Championship Race
in American League.

Owing to the success which the
Washington club has had this year it
is the opinion of many that the team
will be a more dangerous factor for
the championship of the American
league in 1913 than it has been In
1912. This is the first season in which
Washington has been a boardwalk
promenader in the junior organization.
Heretofore the Washingtons have
travelled along the side streets, peep
ing out now and then to watch the big
show.
Griffith has a team which is COM
posed Of some very good material,
some average material and no mate
rial which is really bad. If he is able
to chit up" little strength in one or
two positions between now and the
beginning Of the next season he may
enter the fight in the spring with a
formidable aggregation.
Another fact to be considered in re-
gard to the chances of the Washing
tons next year is that the team will
not start with mild curiosity as to it's
future. The players have found that
they can win, and If they get good
training season they are likely to
step out in front at the drop of the
hat and make everybody come to
them.
Johnson will probably be assisted
by better pitching staff than oper-
ated with him this year, and that is
going to add to the success of the
team. If Johnson had a running mate
who was the same type as himself, the
Washingtons might have won the
championship this year, in spite of the
fact that they were outplayed in some
other departments of the field Their
defense would have been SO strong
that their ability to make two or three
runs to a game, or perhaps even a
better margin than that, would have
pushed them out in front.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
.NOTES OF
SpOHDM
,icl-inp favorites in football games

Picking favorites in football games
is purely 6 local pastime.
Janvrin, Engle and Cady may be
tried at first next spring for the Red
Sox.
Hans Lobert has joined Hans Wag-
ner in the list Of poultry-raising ball
players.
Billy Sullivan has declined an Of
fer to manage the Elmira IN. W State
league team.
Jimmy Burke is mentioned as pos
sibility to manage the Grand Rapids
team next season.
Bill Carrigan, the veteran Red Sox
catcher, has been mentioned as the
latest possibility to manage the High
landeTs.
I'VE will have a great outfelder
next season." says Jimmy Callahan.
mo; Ping Bodie won't be in the outer
garden"
Manager Griffith believes that rip
py'' Williams. the Washington catch
er. will be valuable man the coming
campaign.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
DON'T LIKE AMERICAS GAME
Bystander, English Publication, Com
ments on BasebalI-No Use for
Imported Article.

President Comiskey of the Chicago
White Sox may be able to introduce
professional baseball in Australia,
but chances are he would have trou-
BILE convincing the sporting authori-
ties of Great Britain, of which Aus
tralia is a province, that Americas
greatest pastime is legitimate sport.
The Bystander, London newspaper,
takes this rap at Americas leading
pastime:
'The best thing that can be said
from an English standpoint Of base
ball is that it is a more sane game
than American football, which is not
saying very much. Like American
football, baseball is a game the beau
ties of which can only be appreciated
asy an American born and bred. With
the Americans it is something more
than a game. 1t is an obseSsion more
widespread and compelling even than
the cult of professional football over
here.
"It is their national game, their own
invention, although, after all, it is
rood old game of FOUNDERS, and they
are SO convinced of its supeTexcel-
lence that they have tried to educate
us up to it's transcendental joys-so
far without much success. There is
London baseball league, but TO one
ever seems to learn whether the al
legged baseball boom in Wales will
come to anything.
"To the university and public school
man baseball has never appealed, and
/ doubt very much whether it ever
will There is too much rare show
about it for his tastes. No, the truth
is that in England we have already as
many games as we can do with, and
many better games than baseball, for
which we have good cause to be
thankful. And as long as our home
products satisfy us we have no use
for the imported article"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
A DOCTORS SLEEP
Found He Had to Leave Off Coffee.

Many persons do not realize that
bad stomach will cause insomnia.
Coffee and tea drinking being such
an ancient and respectable form of
habit few realize that the drug-caf-
feine-contained in coffee and tea, is
one of the principal causes of dys-
pepsia and nervous troubles.
Without their usual portion of cot
fee or tea, the caffeine topers are
nervous, irritable and fretful. That's
the way with a whisky drinker. He
has got to have his dram ito settle his
nerves"-habit.
To leave off coffee or tea is an easy
matter if you want to try it, because
Postum gives a gentle but natural
support to the nerves and does not
contain any drug-nothing but food.
Physicians know this to be true, as
one from Ga. writes:
81 have cured myself of long
standing case Of Nervous Dyspepsia
by leaving off coffee and using Post
um," says the doctor.
81 also enjoy refreshing sleep, to
which I've been an utter stranger for
20 years.
in treating dyspepsia in its various
types, find little trouble when can
induce patients to quit coffee and
adopt Postum"
The DR.. is right and there's a
reason" Read the little book, THE
Road to MELVILLE" in pkgs.
Postum now comes in concentrated,
powder eorm called Instant Postum.
1t is prepared by stirring level tea
spoonful in cup of hot water, adding
sugar to taste, and enough cream to
bring the color to golden brown
Instant Postum is convenient:
there's no waste; and the favour is
always uniform. Sold by grocers-50-
cup tin 80 cts, 100-cup tin so cts.
A Soup trial tin mailed for grocer's
name and 2-cent stamp for postage.
! Postum Cereal Co., Ltd, Battle Creek.
Mich.-Adv.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
WENT AWAY WITH THE BOOTY
Elderly Irish Lady Proved She Was
Quite Capable of Rising to
the Occasion.

Lord Spencer, when viceroy of Ire
land, used to keep open house, and all
ladies and gentlemen who had attend
ed drawing-rooms or levees had an I'M
written right to attend the st. Pat
rick's day ball. Some very queer peo-
pie used to present themselves.
Not contented with eating and drink
ing all they could, many persons used
to make predatory raids on the tables
and carry off eatables of all sorts. On
one occasion the comptroller saw 2
stout, elderly lady take whole fowl
and stuff it with considerable dizziness
into a somewhat capacious silk and
embroidered bag. He at once went
up to her and, pointing with his finger
at the bag, said:
Madam, won't you take some ham
with that?"
The good lady was not in the least
abashed, but replied:
"Ah, captain, sure it's joker you
are," and stuck to her booty.-From
Sir Alfred Turner's Autobiography.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
LANDLORD KNEW HER WANTS
saved Lacy Tenant Much Trouble by
anticipating Her Little Talk
fer Needed Repairs.

have called to collect the rent
said the landlord.
Yes" replied the lady Of the house
come In. Now, before 1 give you the
money this month L"
Just minute, madam" said the
landlord. Il can save your time for
you. | know the parlor isn't fit for a
pig to live in, the dining room wall
paper Is shock to people Of refine.
ment, the kitchen walls are a disgrace
and the back porch is a menace to life
ana limb. I'm also aware that you
won't stay here another month unless
the barber shop wall paper in the back
bedroom is changed to something in
a delicate qink, and I'm next to the
Iact that you are ashamed to have peo-
pie look at such gas fixtures as l have
provided. This spring I'm going to
paint the front and back porches and
let it go at that"
Thank you very much" said the
lady meekly. you have saved me a
lot of trouble. That is all we really
expected to have done, but was
afraid that I should have to make the
same old bluff to get that much out OF
you"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
As Women pIay the Game.

Two Kansas City sisters we're max
ing round of calls few days ago.
There we're many to be made, and
whenever there was nobody at home
and cards could be left with the maid
there was that much gained. One
of the sisters smiled contentedly
when the callers, as had happened
several times that day, were inform
ed that the prospective hostess was
not at home. The other sister re-
pressed the smile severely.
you mustn't look so pleased when
we don't find them at home" she
said, as they went down the walk
they may be watching US out of the
window"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
ogE OBJECTION IN RESERVE
Husband WaA Willing to Concede
Everything 10 Wife's Wishes
WIKI EEr option of Baseball.

so You nav given up smoking?"
Yes"
Too costly, OF did you have reason
70 believe it was bad for your
lerres?'
No. l cult because my wife ordered
ne to do So"
Did YOU shave off your mustache
because your wife ordered you to do
:o2"
You've guessed it the first time"
4 suppose you would part your hair
n the middle if your wife told you
that was where she wanted it parted :"
Certainly"
Il hear that you have quit sending
money to your mother because your
wife objected"
Yes. 1 tried to do it secretly, but
she found it out"
q should think you'd spunk up and
assert your manhood"
Just you wait. Some day my wife
Will order me to quit going to ball
games and then she'll find out where
she gets off"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11

De Oro's 200, making the challengers
total score 466 when De Orc reached
the 600-point goal.
1t was the thirteenth time De Orc
has been called on to defend the
championship.
Besides holding his title, De Orc
has been four times king of the three
cushion billiard players. 1t is his in
tention to go after this title again
He is the only expert that ever held
both titles for any length Of time.
Former champions have declared ii
impossible TO play championship poo
and three-cushion billiards simultane
ously. but De Orc has a different idea
about it. He has been playing poo
and billiards for twenty-five years.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
Yachting an Expensive Sport.

Sir Thomas Upton of England, who
has decided not to challenge for the
Americas cup, has this year proved
himself the yachting champion in
European waters by winning % first
prizes out of 29 races in which he COM
peted. He beat the German emperor's
yachts and the Krupp schooner in
their own waters. Sir Thomas three
attempts to lift the Americas cup
has cost him 100000, and about
$5,000,000 has been spent by. English
men in the II attempts to recover the
trophy since the America beat all
Corners in the race round the Isle of
Wight, in 1851.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
BEST AT POCKET BILLIARDS
Champion Alfred De Orc Successfully
Defends Title in Game With Sher-
man of Washington.

Alfred De Orc the other day sue
cessfully defended his title as worlds
champion at pocket billiards. Frank
Sherman of Washington, who chal-
lenged the Cuban, was outclassed in
the last block of the 600-point match.
De Orc made some wonderful com
bination shots and scored a high run
of twenty-nine, which equals the mark
set by Sherman when he took the
lead in the first block. Sherman's
best was 25, his score being 221 to
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
Pitches a No-Hit Game.

Hubert Leonard, who pitched this
year for Denver in the Western
league, and who has been sold to the
Boston Americans, celebrated his ar
rival in his home town the other day
by pitching a no-hit, no-run game
against Lemoore, champions of the
San Joaquin Valley. Leonard pitched
for Fresno, and only one of the Lee
moore players reached seed md base.
This man walked and stole second.
The game was called at the end of
the ninth inning because of darkness,
the score being nothing to nothing.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11

Twelve of the f1fteeN sthletic teams
of Columbia university were carried
on at loss during the last season
The crew deficit amounted to over
$4,000. The track team lost s1,52O
and the swimming and water polo lost
1886. Soccer lost 1922 and hockey
S495. The varsity and freshmen base
ball teams and the varsity rife teams
alone came out on the credit side of
the ledger.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11

leaguers with eighty-one passes to his
credit, leading Dodie Bush of the
Tigers by one.
A ball player who leads off and can
able in the extreme. Pitchers on
other teams say Rath is the hardest
man to throw to in the league. They
can't explain why except he has a
keen eye and refuses to hit unless the
ball crowns the plate.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11

and combination of backs like Har-
wards might be able to drive through
it with a comfortable score.
Thorpe, Aracasa and Guyon of the
Carlisle team are regarded as stars Of
AllAmerican magnitude, and the
West Point coaches are a unit in de-
claring that Thorpe has probably
never had superior in the history Of
the sport.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
Uncomfortable Distrust.

Daily exercise will add ten years
to your life," said the solicitous friend.
"Humph!" replied the suspicious
person; Il suppose you are still work
ing in the interests Of the company
in which you persuaded me to insure
nv life"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
Lacrosse Increasing in Popularity.

Lacrosse, the national game Of Cam
ada, is rapidly becoming worldwide
sport The Britisher has scattered
cricket and association football wher-
ever he has settled. Baseball is con-
fined almost entirely to Americans
and Canadians, and is being taken up
by the Japanese and Chinese. On the
other hand, lacrosse is played not by
Canadian residents in foreign lands,
but by teams composed of natives in
the Urfted States, Great Britain, Aus
tralia, New Zealand, South Africa,
Japan, etc.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11

After the great work of the Indian
eleven in their game with West Point,
there are many army football experts
who are ready to acclaim them the
best all-around team Of the year.
Others doubt whether they would be
able to stand up against either Prince
ton, Harvard or Yale. Certainly no
team has shown more spirited at
tack, but the end mems line is weak,
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
Explaining What a snob Really Is.

"UncIe Roy, what IS Snob!
"a snob, Eddie, is person who in
herits a great deal of money. goes
abroad and buys himself veneer of
culture, returns home and poses as
connoisseur of something, and goes
around calling his poor relations par
venues Why do you ask such a
question, Eddie?"
Because heard Donald's big
brother talking about you this after
noon aud he said you were a snob."
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
RATH IS A VALUABLE PLAYER
White Sox Second Baseman Leads
American League With Eighty
One Passes to Credit.

Morris Rath of the White Sox, that
splendid little second baseman who
received little boosting when he join
good with vengeance, is the best
waiter of 'em all. When the golden
month of August ended, bringing in
the harvest moon and the rest of that
junk, Rath was leading the American
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
Comparatively Easy.

An aviator is building a machine to
1y across the Atlantic"
That has already been done"
You mean to tell me that men have
already flown across the Atlantic?"
No. merely that men have already
giIt machines to do it."
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
Gradual Spread of Knowledge.

Gradual Spread of knowledge.
rs this the information editor?"
Yes"
Will you please tell me why
straw votes are so called?"
Because straws show which way
The wind blows"
Then I've lost a pound of chcco-
late creams. had an idea that it
was because they packed them in
bales and sold them"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
A Year or Two later.

The Stranger-They tell me the
famous baseball player who won the
automobile lives in this town.
, The Native-Yep, that's Hank over
there with tn trunk on his shoulder
He runs tn hack between tn hotel
an tn deepo He traded tn auto
mobile fer it.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
No Wife for Him.

What do I want with a wife?'
snorted Bachelor Bockwedder, on
reading an old maids reasons for not
wanting a husband. 81 have a game
rooster that is vain about his fine
feathers, a goat that chews the rag,
an areoplane that gets me up in the
air, and an automobile that keeps me
all the time broke!"-Judge.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
Mean.
Who's sick at your ho1

who's sick at your house?" she
asked.
mo one" she replied.
But l saw a swell automobile
standing out in front yesterday"
eyes, we own it. That makes some.
body sick at your house now, doesn't
it?"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
Yes Indeed.

at is said that Lord Byron had cou-
wilson's when he heard that the first
GIRL he ever loved was married to
another man."
How proud she must have beer
during the rest Of her life"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1912-12-11
MIST BE Black.

She wants a black dog. I dont
link this deg Will be black enough
Why must she have such a blach
ls2"
She's in mourning for her father
Ilaw Didn't you know"