The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-12-13
THE LAY OF THE ROOSTER
By CHARLES H. MANDY

II. MANDY
 pleased, and dined at will. can still taste the grubs and worms and insects and garden truck on which I regaled myself to my hearts content and when night came I sought a leafy bower with no other canopy than the starry deeked heaven. But my happiness was short lived. I was captured and taken back to my prison pen.
 Speaking of food, reminds me of an- other burden to a prize winning fowl What with condition powders and pills, patent foods that taste like chopped hay and are about as nutritious as pine saw dust. grits and gravel and the ever pres ent oyster shell. I haven't enjoyed a meal for months. Even if some natural food is prepared it Is dosed with condition powders or other vile eondlment until the natural flavor is destroyed. Even the water has to be tempered with Why have taken so much bluestone in my daily libations that I'll bet six bits I die of sorosis' of the liver if l escape the headsman's ax, the end that all good chickens generally come to.
 Suppose Dr. Halstead or Alvin Doug las or any other bug had their morning ham and eggs sprinkled with powered calomel or their beefsteaks fried in cas- tor oil or their liquid refreshments dosed with aloes. don't you know they would raise a bigger howl than did the chief bull moose at Chicago.
 T have it in for this man spratt, the inventor of various kinds of food. He calls himself Doctor Spratt. What kind of doctor do you suppose he is?"
 "Quack," said a duck in the next coop. Quite right" said drake in hoarse whisper
 What do you think about him?" asked Chanty of the old rooster
 Pm ashamed to say in the presence of the ladies'" he replied. as he smiled at one of the pretty buff hens who actually started a irritation with the old codger.
 Across the aisle was a coop of Blue Orpingtons who claim to be the aristo- crats of the entire chicken family on ac- count of their blue blood. The rooster was a handsome fellow and while he put on an air of indifference not unmingled with scorn, 1t was evident that he had been an interested listener to Chanty' 5 remarks.
 Another grievance l have Is this hadgo of servitude," said Chanty. pointing to the metal band on his leg, T consider 1t a mark of degradation equal unto the brass collar worn by the serfs in the days of Cedric the Saxon."
 I'll bred fellow came from the blue aristocrat. What does he know about ancient history?"
 .The gall of some people who fancy themselves superior to their betters on account of"
 "Cocka doodle-do.' came in shrill tone from the blue blood, which means in roosterese, q can lick the stuffing out of you in two minutes"
 Excuse me, ladies, until I tell that fellow he is another"
 "eock-a doodle-di-doon replied Chanty in his loudest notes, which means, You are liar when you say you can lick me, you big boob"
 At this the aristocrat turned to his companion and said he would not notice that low bred. plebeian fellow any more
 'Plebeian,' came from Chanty. In the first place, l can lick that fellow with one leg tied under my wing and when it comes to ancestry, the descendants Of the Pilgrim fathers have nothing on me. In my veins runs the blood of the lordly Langshan, the naughty Houdau, the aris- tocratic Andalusian, the sturdy Plymouth Rock the grand English game, and others whose genealogy extend beyond medieval times. l represent what Iang- will in his play, the Melting Pot en- deavors to portray. that America was the crucible in which the nations of the earth were amalgamated and the product was the American So with me, and all of my kind we represent the best there is in the Kingdom of chickens, but not entirely to the exclusion of all others, for as with some nations who will always retain their individuality so will some breeds of chickens be perpetuated until time shall be no more."
 As Chanty thus unburdened himself, he sank into reverie from which he was aroused by the ancient rooster who asked, What is the answer?"
 ''I thought l made myself clear, but it seems not"
 ''Where do we come in?"
 "Aye don't come in at all; did you ever hear of a chicken being retired on an old age pension: did you ever see chicken wearing any medals for his victories In battle? No, sir, you did not; no matter how many prizes you have won in poul- try shows, no matter how many victories you have won on the main, when your usefulness, or rather your ability to bring in dollar to your owner has gone. 1t IS .Goodby, Katie, l must leave you, and you get the headsmans ax where Prin- cess Mary wears her necklace. Then after being embalmed and refrigerated, frozen and fried you are served up to some old gourmandizer as milk fed spring chicken Yes. sir. take it from me, the barn yard rooster has the ups on any prize winning chicken, no matter who he may be-
 As Chanty looked around he saw that the ancient rooster was dozing, the duck end drake next door were discussing do- nestle matters of a private nature, his two wives sleeping soundly, so he .t,atohaJ his Ioff iap aue right wing and