The Sauk Centre herald., 1912-05-02

0e conductor nodded: "The best
way is this-take hold Of the wink
ers."
'The what?" mumbled Wellington.
"Grab the winkers of your upper
eyelid in your right hand"
1--WE got EN-
''Now grab the winkers of your low.
er eyelid in your left hand. Now
! raise the right hand, push the under
! lid under the overlid and haul the
! overlid over the underlid; when you
| have the overlid well over the un.
der"
Wellington waved him away: "Say,
what do you think I'm trying to dc! !!
stuff mattress? Get out of my way.
want my wife-lead me to my wife. +"
"An excellent idea," said DR.. Tenn.
pie, who had been praying for a recon
ciliation.
He guided Wellington with difficulty
to the observation room and, finding
Mrs. Wellington at the desk as usual,
he began: "Oh, Mrs. Wellington, may
I introduce you to your husband"
Mrs. Wellington rose haughtily,
caught a sight of her suffering consort
and ran to him with a cry Of "Jim.
mie!"
"Lucretia!"
What's haIpened-are you killed ?'
I'm far from well. But don't wor-
ry. My life insurance is paid up"
"Oh, my posr little darling" Mrs.
Jimmie duttered, What on earth ails
your" She turned to the doctor. "Is
he going to die?"
II think not" said the DOCTOR TITS
only a bad case Of cinder-in-the-eye-
tis.'
Thus reassured, Mrs. Wellington
went into the patients eye with her
handkerchief. "Is that the eye?" she
asked.
moi" he howled, "the other one"
She went into that and came out
with the cinder.
There! It's just a tiny speck."
Wellington regarded the mote with
amazement. "Is that all? 1t felt as IL
had Pixies Peak in my eye" Then
he waxed tender. "Oh, Lucretia, how
can l ever"
But she drew away with a disdain-
full: "Give me back ny hand, please" Z"
"Now, Lucretia," he protested,
don't you think you're carrying this
pretty far?"
"Only as far as Reno" she answered
grimly, which stung him to retort:
YOU'D better take the beam out of
your own eye, now that you've taken
the cinder out of mine," but she, not
Ing that they were the center of inter
est, observed: "All the passengers are
enjoying this. my dear. You'd better
90 back to the cafe."
Wellington regarded her with a re-
vulsion to wrath. He thundered at
her: II will go back, but allow me to
inform you, my dear madam, that I'll
not drink another drop-just to sur
prise you."
Mrs. Wellington shrugged her shoul-
ders at this ancient threat and Jimmie
stumbled back to his lair, whittier the
men followed him. Feeling sympathy
in the atmosphere, Little Jimmie felt
impelled to pour out his grief:
"Jellmen, I'm brok'n-heartless
man. Mrs. Well'n'ton- is a queen
among women, but she has temper of
tarant-"
Wedgewood broke in: 'T say, old
boy, you've carried this ballast for
three days now, wherever did you get
it?"
Wellington drew himself up proud.
ly for moment before he slumped
back into himself. well, you see,
when I announced to a few friends
that I was about to leave Mrs. Wei.
linton forever and that was going
out to-tO-yOu know.
Reno. We know. Well?"
"Well, a crowd Of my friends got up
a farewell sort of divorce breakfast
and some Of 'em felt so very sad about
my divorce that they drank little too
much, and the rest of my friends felt
so very glad about my divorce, that
they drank little too much. And, of
course, had to join both parties"
And that breakfast" said Ashton,
Tasted till the train started, eh?''
Wellington glowered back triumph.
antly. Lasted till the train started
Jellmen. that breakfast is going yeti"