The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1912-12-17


I sions in order TO settle points in dis
pute. But, sad to relate, oftentimes in
| the marriage relationship, folk show
much less sense than hard headed bust
nessmen in the world of affairs. John
! says to himself Che is ashamed to say
it out loud), IT am right and / know
it; 1 won't yield single inch. 1 will
not concede for moment that ! am in
the wrong And Mary says Ito her
self John imagines he is right, but 1
know better. He thinks / will Yield,
! but I won Il so there now Then, to
put the result in language more plain,
the very devil is to pay. Now, con-
cessions from both parties at that crisis
| in the married life of John and Mary
would have saved their home and would
have led them to love each other more
in the future.
''Some married people seem to have
the mistaken notion that it is belittling
and that it betrays weakness to forgive
each other. If we wrong stranger or
friend we do not think it out of place
rto say, Il regret that this has occurred
and l trust you will forgive it and
overlook it,
"But somehow we seem to uncon.
{ a
for the home. There is not a place
where woman should forgive so freely
and so fully as in the home. l cannot
conceive of two bigger fools than
husband and wife who persistently re.
fuse to forgive each other. They are
ruthlessly trampling under foot their
own interests, their dying love, their
own future prospects. Let your for
giveness be new every morning and
fresh every evening. Forgive as you
would if you sat by the bedside of your
companion this evening and watched
your conjugal mate slipping away from
Won into the great unseen.
4. "Again, / urge married folk to con.
suit with each other before undertake.
ing anything of Importance. Under
this head l must address you very
plainly because it involves the prac-
teal things of life. 1t involves the
financial success or failure of the home
oftentimes. l will be frank and ad-
nit that the wife is more apt to seek
consultation with the husband than the
husband with the wife, but sometimes
the trouble is to be found on both sides
of the house. The majority of men
have too keen a sense of independence
for their own good.
'By consulting daily with each other
concerning all mat ers of interest the
husband and wife not only conserve
their own financial interests, but they
daily grow into each others life and
come to understand and appreciate
each other more.
Bear and 'Forbear.'
"Again, I must urge all married folk
IN dli l,, T11n act N,,sA
charity and forbearance In order to
have successful and beautiful home
life there must be two bears in every
home, bear and 'forbear.' They are
not the kind of bears. however, which
are found in many homes. The
growing, biting glowering kind is
found too often in the home.
''When you are tempted to frown,
TO become angry, to speak unkindly, to
act sullenly, to be spiteful, Just for
bear. 1t may be bitter medicine to
take, but take IT as true man or true
woman should. Such medicine, taken
in the right spilit, will cleanse your
conjugal blood, tone up your matri-
menial nerves, and produce joyous
and bounding health in your welded
life. Try it and see.
1.-The husband should study his
wife's happiness as carefully as he
studies his business. He should learn
what she likes and what pleases her
and then act accordingly. There are
, nitny little things which he can do in
the daily rontine to contribute to her
happiness. The same is true of the
wife. She should study her husband
TO ascertain his likes and dislikes. So
far as possible she should keep house
in such a manner as TO please him, and
dress to please him. If more husbands
and wives did all in their power to
please each other, if they deliberately
planned each other 3 happiness day by
day, there would be more sweet homes
on earth and fewer breaking hearts.
Religion and Love.
) ~ close by urging you to cultivate
each others religious welfare. No
matter how pleasant and satisfactory
welded life may be 1t will soon come
to an end Like all other earthly
relationships, it will pass away. This
thought should not east a gloom over
any home, however. 1t onght to lead
the husband and wife to so cultivate
their religious life and interests that
they will ever look forward to sweet
eternal companiOnship.
81 cannot conceive of couple max
ing more colossal blunder than get
ting married and then shutting God
and His church and all things spiritual
out of their lives. They are losing
the sweetest, the best the most
blessed things from their lives by ig-
noring the claims of God and His
church. The saddest cases of remoTse
l have ever noted in my ministry have
been those of men and women who,
racing eternity, have regretted from the
depths of their being that they had
mistreated their kind Heavenly Father
and had refused or neglected TO be
loyal to His church.
''God forbil that you, o husband
OF wife, shoula be guilty Of such base
ingratitnde, switch wlii lead you to