The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1912-04-07
Mr. Woodrow Wilson In the Field of Practical Politics.

hssor had wrote letter to him FIVE years ago
handIn' out harsh wurruds about Bill Bryan an
not wantin to laugh all alone, that he let his
frinds iv diff pollytickal faith firm tn pro-
6ssor copy it Off Thin it was published that
deceased statesman had wrote letter sayin' that
while TIL professor was prisidint iv Princeton he
had made free with tn cash raygisther iv tn col
ledge an committed other pickledllloes An his
throubles ar-re just beginnin'. Faith, / wudden't
be surprised to hear amy day that this mild
lookin' man was tn fellow that blew tn safe in
tn Red Bank postoffice an got off with two
thousan' dollars worth iv stamps which he is
usin' to sind out campaign mateeryal Ap-
pearances are niver more decetful thin in a pris-
idintial year.
Sicond on'y to Professor Wilson in discov-
erin Professor Wilson as candydate f'r prisi-
dint was tn iditor that Larkin talks about. Ivry
day he come out with card at tn head iv his
pa-aper: Our wan best bet Woodrow Wilson,
He wrote nanny NANNY colyurs to show that
without wantin' to say annythin again tn dead
he felt it his Jooty to remark that nayther Wash.
IN ton nor Lincoln liver saw tn day Whin ayether
iv thin as good gashtter as Woodrow Will
son. Well, wan day Wum Jennings Bryan
happened to pick up copy iv this pa -aper in his
office, an says he: What have we here2 What's
this all abouts Why, tn last see v this iditor
he was borryin' light frm wan iv tn infamyous
Wall sthreet cothery that has always thried to
desthroy me. l don't know amy man but wan
that looks good enough to lead tn Dimmycrahc
party, an he is previnted be an indisposton iv
tn party firm runnn. But will say this, that
If | was enthusyastic about Professor Wilson
befure, which do not admit will not be again
ont | learn what accursed soorces iv corrupt
wealth ar-re backin' him up in his attlmpt to
vate himself to an Office which other men ~
gr-reater worth have three times failed to get
he says.
"Whn tn professor heerd this he give
groan iv despair an yelled to tn iditor Oit
off me back What's thatP says tn lditor.
Get off me back says tn professor. Don't ye
want me support7 says tn iditor. Is it support
ye call itF says tn professor. It's dhrownin
me ye ar-re,' he says An they parted less LII
sorrow thin in anger
al don't know what1l happen to tn pro-hssor
next. II was him wudden't walk on III side
walk I'd always be home befure sunset, ID Dc
careful what ct an dhrank, an if saw trino
firm Princeton comm lords me with pleasant
smile on his face an givin' me tn high sign ~
our secret sciety I'd r-run. Th' pro-1ssor Is
bein' diacated He is takin' postgraJatc coorse.
He is arnin' that a man may know all aooul
polytickal economy without KNOWN how 10 run
slaughter house an all about pollytickal scienoe
without KNOWN anything about pollyticKs,
which is another kind iv pursoot inurey an
wan that timid an law abidin' men like IN
McNamaras an Harry Orchard, fr example'
wudden't dare to take up But he's larnin
That's wan good thing l wish him luck. In
tn coorse v few years he may turn to De
finished pollytician, although he'll niveI DC as
good wan as Big Tim Sullivan. He Will know
about pollyticks thin, but what he knows ne II
tell no wan"
Don't ye think Taft has chance asked
Mr. Hennessy
' / can't tell" said Mr.. Dooley. Did he ivcr
take wan?" II