The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-04-15
The Wives of
Pine Flat
A New Version Of an Old
Roman Legend
By F. A. Mitchell

the Nevada silver mines in which from
the first was rivalry These were the
Quartz Gusch and the Pine Flat peo-
pie. Both were bad lot The Quartz
Gulchers had one good man among
them, while the Pine Flatters were all
bad. The good man at Quartz Gnlch
wasn't good because he was naturally
! inclined that way, but because he own
I ed property In the Guleh that he would
| like To make valuable. and lie was pre-
vented from doing so by the reputa-
| ton of the town. No one would invest
money there, no one would even come
there to investigate
Pete wilkins, this so called good mau
OF Quartz Gulch. sat down one day for
job of thinking with view to find
Ing some way 10 better the morals Of
his fellow citizens. lie considered the
feasibility of shutting of their liquor
supply, or corraling all the weapons in
the settlement under lock and key, OF
inducing an evangelist TO come among
them and impregnate them with reli-
gious principles. 1t didn't seem to Mr..
wilkins that any OF these plans were
feasible.
At last wilkins got down TO the foun-
tain head or all refinement woman. II
he could only get some respectable wo-
men In the camp he believed they
would act as a palliative upon the men
and eventually bring about a better
state of morals The first difficulty
was to find the women, the second to
get them to the Gulch and the third TO
keep them there long enough to pene-
trate the outside coating of vilainy and
get hold on the mems better nature.
He didn't mind the disappointment the
women would experience in expecting
to secure husbands and homes, but he
didn't like to be put in for failure.
1t occurred to him to interest the men
In his project. There would be no diff
ficulty In securing their approval of
bringing in the women. The trouble
would be TO induce them to behave in
such fashion as to induce their more
delicate partners to remain. He called
"A meeting of the citizens and thus ad-
dressed them:
"Pards, l been thinkin' o. some way
o. gittin' the better o them gaoots
down on the fiat, and 1 think I've hit
the nail square on the head. I'm gon'
to send for carload o. the best lookn'
and most respectable women 10 he
found in the east to be sent out here to
beautify the town."
There was yell of appreciation, and
the orator continued:
What we want is decent homes.
and you can't make a home without n
woman in 1t. All I'm afeard Of is that
II we induce good women TO come i'm
and ft""s Tones for us you fellers II
scare 'em away"
Cries OF 1--WE WON'T" "Try usv
Bring 'em on and seer
a collection was taken up. and suf-
hcient sum was raised for the purpose.
The scheme was popular both because
of the coming of the fair sex and top
ping the inhabitants OF Pine Flat. Pete |
wilkins was appointed a committee of |
one TO carry out the project ard at |
once opened up a correspondence with |
a society called the Helping Hand I'm /
an eastern city, and arrangements for
a first shipment of young women who
needed homes were made. II these
reported favorably on their reception
and the prospects before them another
shipment was to follow.
The probability is that all would have
worked well had it not been that GER
tain citizens OF the town were so puffed
UP with pride at their prospective out.
doing of Pine Flat that they must
needs crow over their rivals before
their chickens were Matched. When II
was learned by those of the Flat that
the Gulchers were going to have n
cargo of women sent out from tho eost
there was a feeling among the latter
that something must be done. Various
propositions were made to see this in
novation aud go their rival one better.
out they were either impracticable or
ABSURD One stupid churl suggested
that they send for cargo OF MONKEYS.
another that number of wax figures
IN the show windows of city stores be
bought up and placed In the windows
Oh the shanties, suggesting the presence
Of housekeeper.
One suggestion was received with n
howl Of delight. Aaron Skinner who
oefore going to the bad had taught
school, thus spoke TO a crowd of HE
Ieiiow citizens who were debating tho
question: VIZ
1T seems TO me-" he said. chat nv
'iabbin' the Gulchers have given us
IN ADVANTAGE over EN- What we :
want to do is first to lay our plan and
hen shoot any one OF our number we
zee heading for the Gulch. so that no
ant give II away. There was once ,
lot or fellers who started a town
hey named Rome. Not far Off was
mother town. the people of which
we're called Sabines. The Romans ,
we're as bad Off for want of women as I
We or the Gulchers, but the sabInes :
lad plenty of 'em. The Romans ipyit. I
~ the Sabines with their wives ana
daughters to a blowout, and at s,y.
iai the Romans picked up the women .
Ind run 'etn or. Now, what pronosok ,
to go out and meet these gals that's
oming TO the Gulchers befora .ho,, ,