Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1912-04-18
How
She Shopped

81 wasn't responsible" Baird said
81 always had known better than to
venture into a department store with
a woman bent on shopping. but, you
see, / was on my wedding trip. So
when Anne suggested going shopping
! smiled fatuously and consented.
"Anne made for the elevators and
led me to the topmost floor. Being
totally ignorant of the correct method
of storming a women's store, | took 1t
for granted that starting in at the top
was the rule, and that you got locked
If you didn't begin that way. l be-
lieve Ii was the floor where you get
fitted and altered when you buy ready
mades. / bashfully skunk along be-
hind Anne as she strolled down ma
hogany corridors through the doors of
which came walls and complaints and
storms from women In the process of
being altered and fitted.
"Just as l opened my mouth to ask
Anne what she had bought to be fixed
and when she had bought it, she turn
ed on me blandly and said she was
ready to go down to the next floor.
There was a furniture display there
and / think she priced every piece of
1t. In half an hour my head was
mixture of Flemish bookcases, ma
hogany dining room sets, rocco
screens and tea wagons.
much as / loved Anne, I began to
feel pale. ] figured out that my whole
annual income would just about pay
for what the dear girl apparently had
in mind.
"When she began talking with the
attentive salesman about an $500
carved chest l drew her aside. My
dear said l in quavering tones, real
ly. you know, we can't afford an eight
hun
"'Silly!' she said. AS IL I didn't
know that! Why, I'm not going to
buy any furniture-I'm just looking!'
And she sailed out of there under the
outraged eyes of the salesman with
out turning hair.
"How women do it I can't figure out
they undoubtedly possess sort OF
courage that men lack.
when got my breath found we
were on the china and glass and pic
ture floor. We priced about 100000
worth of stuff there-at least Anne
did. The salesman was so impressed
by her air that he did his best to sell
her dozen plates, very cheap at ST.
500. I assure you that l got cold
chills, so realistic was her assumption
that possibly If the plates pleased her
she might condescend to have them
sent to our address.
And size was absolutely impervious
to my agonized glances. #W
''She considered sets in rock crystal
and she turned up her nose at 800
coffee cups. At last she led me down
TO the floor beneath. 1t was full Of
hats-women's hats. Anne almost
there / couldn't imagine, because
distinctly remembered hearing her say
that her trousseau included ten hats.
"She didn't give me a chance to
point out to her that she could wear
only one hat at time, because she
promptly had the head milliner and
two earnest saleswomen surrounding
her.
"That girl tried on thirty-three hats
by actual count and, as each one was
more expensive than its predecessor,
you can imagine the state of mind /
was in. ] never knew there were so
many different kinds of birds and
feathers and things in the whole
world until that day. / saw myself
proceeding through the rest of our
trip Juggling bandboxes and just as
was working up an extremely bitter
frame of mind Anne smiled sweetly
at me and said she believed she was
ready to go.
I'VE left the saleswomen reviving
each other and proceeded to the silks
and velvets. 1t was perfectly wonder
full how much Anne knew about quail
ties and wearing abilities. She routed
six statesmen before she descended to
the linens and lingeries. l won't at
tempt to relate our visit to that floor,
UuL SOut tllu0 L WduI W lcil yOu
about a $500 tablecloth and napkins
to match.
"The rest is a sort Of mist. I know
that at last we found ourselves in the
basement among the kitchen furnish
ings. There Anne simply had glor-
ious time pricing things. Up to now
she had bought absolutely nothing. SO
/ woke up with start when she ran
out from dark. underground corner
with a teakettle in her hand.
:. Isn't this dear?' she asked. And
only 80 cents-think Of it! How love-
ly it will look in the fireplace.' So
she bought it.
"That isn't all. When we unpacked
1t at home she deliberately marked a
IL in front of the so. Then the first
time her cousin, who is one of those
women who pride themselves on
knowing the value of every article on
earth, saw It she threw up her hands.
"'My dear!' she cried. Did you get
that kettle for only twelve dolalrs and
narfnnflV