The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1912-07-04
SNAPPED
WIVES
Bv MARY GANSEVOORT

Mr.. and Mrs. Kirby lived on the sec
ond floor and Mr.. and Mrs. Axhalter
on the first floor Cheap things are apt
to be expensive in the end. and it was
so with this two family house. Mrs
Kirby became infatuated with Mr.. AK
halter and Mr.. Kirby with Mrs. AK
halter. Living under the same roof,
there was plenty of chance for one Of
the men to meet the wife of the other
elandestinely, and both couples were
playing the same game.
There wasn't any trouble about the
matter. Why should there be, since
all were satisfied to swap partners?
But the expense! Two single houses
would have cost so per cent more. but
the divorces cost 100 per cent more.
Besides. there were two new trous-
seaux, two weddings involving car
riages. wedding breakfasts and the
parsons fees. Would it not have been
better had each couple taken a single
house?
Unfortunately the leases ran for two
years. and the new weddings occurred
within one 1t would be a pity to lose
one years rent on account of an en-.
barassing proximity between two cou-
pies who had snapped partners. es-
pecially when there was no embarrass-
ment So the first Mrs. Kirby. having
become Mrs. AXhalter. went to live
downstairs. and the first Mrs. AXhater,
having become Mrs. Kirby. went to
live upstairs Everybody in the neigh
borhood said: How practical and how
sensible! All has been done pleas
antly Of all quarrels family quarrels
are the worst"
1t so happened that Mr.. and Mrs.
Kirby went on journey. and while
they were gone Mr.. Kirby died.
Meanwhile Mr.. Axhalter died too. The
disconsolate widows met in the hall.
That's a part of two family house
which persons who have never tried
them don't consider. The occupants
are always meeting in the hall
"Well," said Mrs Kirby-ante Ak
halter-"Tom has gone. hear"
EYES," said Mrs Axhalter- ante Kir-
by. land Jim. too. poor man!' She
wiped away a tear.
''They were two very good men,"
every good. They we're two very
good husbands to me. both Of 'em."
"And have no complaint to make of
Ia NJ
obliging in some things and my second
in other things"
Both my husbands were good in all
things said Mrs. Axhalter. heaving a
deep sigh.
HIN! Did you find Axhalter always
liberal with the cash?'
Indeed did. But it depends upon
what you ca liberal Anyway. didn't
have to go through his pockets when
he was asleep"
"Who told you that?''
"Told me what?"
''That to get money had to go
through his pockets when be was my
husband. Anyway, didn't give him
any curtain lectures when he came
home late nights"
"And who told you that?
"a little bird whispered it into my
ear"
did Kirby tell you l gave him cur
tain lectures?"
did Axhalter say l went through his
pockets?'
ho
move. So the only thing they could do
was to unlock and begin over again.
I'D like you to tell me. Mrs. Kirby"
said Mrs. Axhalter. (which Of your
husbands you liked BEST"
''Well. as man who had been in
fuenced by some one else think some
times Kirby was the best man ! ever
knew Then. again. think Axhalter
was even better than he"
What do you mean by Influenced
by any one else?'
"Well. you know. Mrs. Axhalter. that
a man after he has been married isn't
the same as he was before"
do you mean that be has deterio-
rated" asked Mrs Axhalter, looking
at her wife-in-law severely.
II mean that if man has lived with
a woman who has nagged at him he
grows irritable"
II noticed that my second husband
was sometimes a bit grOuchy."
"You did. did you? Maybe it was
getting used to new conditions"
Again the horns we're locked Again
the two ladies backed away from each
other. But only in an argumentative
sense
Are you going to have your mourn
ing dresses cut hobble?' asked Mrs
Axhalter.
mot to the extreme" replied Mrs
Kirby.
'rm puzzled about my hats. | don't
see how can get widows cap to
show under 'em. the brims are so big"
And the veil? How are we to man.
age that?"
'"They don't wear those long black
wells any more"