Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

| grass widders not allowed. 1t is
thought that Miss Maize Bibbins, the
new trimmer at the millinery parlors.
will get the prize as Elmer m has
already bought SO worth of tickets.
A strained nurse from Chicago has
came to take care Of Grandma Prin-
gle.
This is good weather for planting.
-Four funeral since Sunday.
Wide Awake Hose Company was
called Out last Wednesday,. I.nos
Hands celluloid collar had Dol fire
while he was sitting in the sun.
Elmer Jones went over to West Hic-
heyville Tuesday to see William Jen-
nings Bryan change cars. Hank
Tumms has bought a nickels worth OF
washers to drop in the horseless piano
at the Golden Nugget Buffet.
This is getting to be quite a met.
ropolitan place. Enos Hand Iuesdayed
at West Hickeyville. Calling cards
printed at the Clarion office. Why is
it a homely galoot with a face like a
horse and buggy always marries the
prcttiest girl in U town?
Grandpa Bibbins hasn't had his
whiskers trimmed since the Chicago
fire. He found a robins nest in them
last Sunday.
Uncle Ezra Harkins. who is the old
est man In our midst at this writing.
has bought a second hand bicycle and
will stump IN country selling crayon
portraits. 1t will be funny If he don't
get those lace curtains of his wrapped
up in the wheel mt break his old zoe
neck. Good second hand teeth with
haircloth finish n second hand what
not for sale at this office.
Hank Tumms says Old Man Purdy
can beat my man in this country
playin %scven-up. We won't name n
names. but we think the man who ia
that is a liar. Old Man Purdy had
the misfortune to sprain his wrist while
pitching Quates back of the post office
last week and has been in~capacitated
from following his business. which is
whiting pack of the stove in lib
bits grocery.
acquainted down to the city. He can
call three b~artenders and one police
man by their first names. Elmer Jones
says there is a swell lot of trimmers
in them millinery stores down to the
city and he knows for ne is an epicure.
by ginger if old Diogenes should
come around here lookin' for an honest
man somebody would steal his lam
tern before he got as far as All Rem
frew's 'sawmill. Bud Hicks is back
from Sing Sing where he had a steady
JOB since Deacon -Pringle missed his
roam colt five years ago.
Hiraln jerks, our landscape paint
CIR. amt much on painting animals.
He says 1t is hard to paint a moss
for you can't get the critter to stand
still long enough. Besides, the paint
fills up the pores in the hoss's skin
So he can't SWEET. A dog bit Hank
Tumns the other day and now the
dog IL liable to die from the rabbits
superinduced by acute alcoholism. The
Clarion is closed today for the editor
is having his pants pressed down to
taylortn. shop.
Rev. Hanks said he vas going to
exchange pulpits with the preacher
over to West Hickeyville last Sunday
but everybody that went to church
was fooled as the same old pulpit was
there. Preachers a joke once in q
while. But there is n consolation.
The West Hickeyville fellers was just
as badly fooled as we was. Miss Pansy
quiftne and they sent 1t in capsules.
She says h don't like to get quinine
tina way as it O too long to shuck
the dunn things before taking 'em.
Folks all thought she was eatin' pea
nuts
Tire other night. when they had COM.
any to dinner, Hod Peters wife told
him that it wasn't etiquette ta< set
down to the table in his shirtsleeves;
but Hod said he'd be ding swizzled
u ne was goiN' to take his shirt off,
etiquette or no etiquette.
q sn1aRsxine editor q to tear nm vos,r
manuscript and throw 1t in the fire
Many a s,lccessful noe, got his start
writing enithefs fnr tonnhstuns
Ansel ,Jimkey our tonsoriai art,.t
and leader of the hand Ana ~nrchaster
busted the q sfrinr m Ms violin the
other day. and say there will be no
more music in this burg until he runs
Hiram Hucrins has vnt . rau. oct.
mohile which he cail. . .s,,,ra nc,,t !,
II WIN RIM Shnmt Scrtv ,o6 sri th:r
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