The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-11-16

naO neale0 u 0uno9 At the corner
drug store we gathered up the remains
ton. About ten minutes after we got
there n guy came in to check his
trunk. We showed him what was left
OF 1t. He got pretty mad.
I'm ruined for life,' says he.
"Bill unwound another yard of
c~ourt-plaster and began to slap it on
his wounds.
ox :' that 60 comes pretty near 0ein' our
I'm have damages says the man.
We've already got ours.' says Bill.
If you're thinkin' Of infiictin' any
more, why start right In now an do Il
that 10. II you. think you're able
adds Bill preparin' to go into action.
That cools the guy down. an he
told US the secret Of his internal ma
chine. He hadn't meant n harm.
petual motion invention that he'd been
workin' on for ten years. No doubt 1t
was pretty hard on him to lose the
fruits OF his toll In q baggage smash
up. but he hadn't ought to ship such
valuable fruits SO cafeless-like.
However. not all the trunks that !
have smashed have contained ingredi-
of them contained things that were
just queer. Take, for example. the
case Of that quiet little lady what used
to travel from New York to Chicago
so frequently to get married. ! don't
mean that she got married every trip.
So far as I know she new collared a
husband once. but each time she set
out she expected to. before she got
back. and h always carried q part Of
the wedding feast alonE with her. /
found out all about that. because for
several reasons I smashed her trunk.
But I don't break 1t on purpose. II
used to make one feel as II I wanted
to take the first train to the p%eniten-
tiary every time I saw that wedding
cake and the bottles Of wine and
glasses Of jelly tumblins out into the
make good, but the ~persevering bride
was a real lady and she wouldn't ac-
cept any such sacrifice on my part.
"'You were simply laborin' in the
discharge Of your duty says she. 1T
is my fault. I should have packed the
things in q stronger trunk
After I had spoiled about five we'd
curious. 49,
"'Didn't you find him on the other
trips?' I asked on the occasion Of the
"'No,' says she. real hopeful. but I
think he'll be there this time all right.
But ! don't believe ne was ~
summer I moved a trunk down to the
station for her again. and although
I was mighty careful not to break 1t.
II feel sure that II I had the edible
part Of that same old romance would
have rolled right out on the station
floor.
"a person not in the trunk smashin'
business can get no idea Of the tom
fool notions that possess most travel
ers when packin' a trunk. Without
that means of Information no n can
know how many thousands of pints Of
ink and how many quarts of medicine
are spilled annually over clothes. and
how many clocks see their finish in a
baggage smash-up. Those clocks are
a real menace to the baggagemaster's
peace of mind. Most Of 'em. are pro-
vided with works that wasn't made ia
2be muffled by the walls Of any ordi-
nary trunk. an when several dozen OF
them get to tickin' away at n time
the chances are that the fellow that
happens to be watchin' alone in the
midst Of 'em in the stiffness Of the
night is goin' to get some mighty seri-
Gus thoughts or the passin'. Of time
an the outlook for eternity"