davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the ChIcago News.l

IF'rom the Chicago News.]
Babies and grievances grow larger with
nursing.
The man who shoots at random never
hits the target.
Some men work overtime trying to earn
a dishonest living
1t is useless to take a vacation if you
are weary from everest
If YOU would get up in the world you
might patronize a roof garden
And many a man does the things prl-
vateIy that he denounces in public
A fussy woman says the next most an
moving thing to a man in the house is a
fly.
The world is full of the sort of friends
who take to the woods when trouble
shows up.
The political candidate who "also ran
is unable to see wherein the world is
growing wiser.
Many a man fools himself with the be
lief that his wisdom is superior to that of
the late Mr. Solomon
woman just has to worry about some
body staying out late at night If it ism
her husband or the hired girl, it's the cat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02
Cemetery of Homes.

And let me say, further, of the Con-
gressional Record: The sooner it dies
the better. (Laughter.) 1t is a neea-
less expense, it has a limited circula-
ton, and is very seldom read, unless
some one is harpooned. (Laughte-.)
1t is the cemetery of blasted hopes
and shrouded ambitions, haIf-baked
thoughts, and hot air bunk. (Laugh-
ter.)
And, furthermore, Mr.. Speaker, v.,u
called my attention to this point the
other day-not the real speaker of the
house Qaughter) excuse me if 1 have
made any mistake; did nos mean 70,
sir, but l was referring to the honor
able speaker, Mr.. Clark. (Applause.)
He called the attention of this house
to the fact that he wanted every word
spoken in debate in this house placed
III the Record correctly, as it WIS
spoken, and you know that is not SO.
This Congressional Record is a mis-
representation. It is a fake. (LausE-
teri These speeches are made here
on the floor of this house; they are
taken by the stenographers; they are
taken downstairs; they are run eff;
brought back up here, and there is
not member of this house but what
sits down and revises and revamps
and fixes it UP to suit himself, and that
is the way it goes out to the pubiic-
(AppIause.) Why fool the public any
longer ?-Representative Akin. in the
Congressional Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02
FROM OTHER PENS
TIE POPuLAR VOTE.

1t is estimated that there will be
about 100000 more eligible voters
in the United States this year than
there were in 1908. because of the
number of males coming to the voting
age and the increase of the number of
enfranchised women. In 1908 there
were som ething over 23,00d,00O poo
pie who might have voted, nut there
were only 14.Ss7,594 votes cast in the
presidential election. 1t is estimated
that this year there are approximately
26, 10000 persons who might lawful
ly vote if they would all qualify un-
der the different state laws and go
to the polls. OF these there are APP
proEimately 1,650.000 women. The
likelihood is that a larger proportion
ate vote will be cast in the national
election this year than was cast four
years ago, because of the exceptional
political conditions, with strenuous
campaigns conducted by the Demo-
cratic. Republican and Progressive
parties, and it is not improbable that
the total popular vote will be close to
1900, OO0.-Nashville Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

the earnings of one COW and keeps on
doing the same for so years, then
when he is 70 years old he viii have
a fortune running all the way from
$4,000 to $4,000. Figuring with the
smaller sum for the basis of COM
parison, a boy who was in a position
to start in with a herd of 33 Ia cows
would accumulate no less than
$1,000 900 in a like period. And who
will now say that it is impossible for
a man during an ordinary span of life
to earn honestly $1,000,000?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Few people have to try very hard to
be disagreeable.
No so many of the Jokes are worth
the laughs they get.
4 y
Every mans faults are more numer-
Gus than he imagines.
n y
The poorer the excuse, the more elab-
crate it generally is.
Too much of the ambition is pointed
in the wrong direction.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02
WHAT SHOULD poor BOY DO?


A young man in England calls on
his best girl He and the young lady
sit iii the parlor waiting for mamma
to come down stairs and, as is the
custom, chaperon them. Suddenly the
young lady's nose begins to bleed. The
young man. somewhat iustered, and
anxious to be of assistance, remembers
that he has heard that cold metal APP
piled to the back of the neck will stop
the nosebleed. He looks around for
cold metal and sees the key in the
parlor door-the only door in the
room. He hastily seizes 1t, and, in so
doing, unwittingly turns the lock. Then
just as he tries to apply the key to
the back of the young lady's neck.
mamma descends and tries the door.
Finding it locked, she remptorily
demands immediate admittance. The
young man in his embarrassment
drops the key down the young Iady's
back.
What, then. in this dreadful situa
ton. should the young man do?
That is the question that has been
agitating the readers of one of the
British papers, says Current Literature
for September. That is the question
that is said to have been diverting the
mind of Governor Woodrow Wilson.
The answer he reached after due de-
liberation was, we understand, this:
The young man should recover the key
at any cost
This story, gentle reader, shows us
that even in the most rampageous
midst of politics we may still find ex
ercise for our sense of humOr. 1t is
a good time for us all to remember
that, and to keep an eye open for
amusing things in these days of po
litical strife
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02
DAFFYDHS
BY o. SoALL.

If the piano told the truth would it be
upright?
kiss me Kid! I'm sterilized)
If runner drove his spikes into the
first sack would the baseball?
Cha. Ha. he chuckled, as his glass
eye fell in the chowder.)
If some band boys went on a fishing
excursion would they use their clari-
nets?
ARREST that man, officer! He's the
boob that put The mush in MILK
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02
Flying BICYCLES.

The first steamboat, steam locomo-
| tive and glider each aroused the de-
rision of the public in their first at
tempts. Such was the fate of the con-
| teStapts who entered for the first
public competition of motorless flying
machines. The prize was $4,000, but
competed. The machines were quite
similar in construction, being merely
bicycles or tricycles fitted with planes
and prepellers. The motive power was
pedals. "Aviettets is the name be-
slowed on this latest device in the art
of flying. To win the prize one had to
rise from the ground, if only a few
inches, and travel a marked course of
33 feet. A second prize was offered to
any one who flew over two strings
placed four inches apart. All the
trials met with failure, the perform
ance being likened to the antic of
lot of cowboys trying to ride bucking
bronchos. Some of the inventors were
O bsoiutely exhausted after their fruit
less efforts to get their machines off
the ground, but al no time was any one
in peril. unless it was the spectators.
L'Aero, however, treats the matter
seriously, and says The contest, al
though failure, has not proved the
1mpossibility of motorless flight. By
displaying before the public machines
which lack even common sense, an
impression has been created that the
problem is more difficult that it really
is. Paulhan, who won the $4,000
prize for the flight from London to
Manchester, comments: ''None OF the
comp etitors understands the problem
and the motorless flying machine does
not yet exist" Tissandier is quoted as
saying: They all lack scientific
knowledge and their propellors are
nearly all feeble. While 1 think it is
possible to fulfill the requirements of
aviette will be able to fly for many
miles, AS experiments involve neith-
er personal risk nor great expense
some of our young inventors might
find considerable amusement If not
profit, in attempting to work out the
pro blem.=Popular Mechanics
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

For the information of his enthu-
siastic supporters in Kansas, atten-
ton is directed to the fact that in a
speech at st. Adams, Vt, the other
day, Colonel Roosevelt emphatically
denied that his party could be char
acterized as the Progressive Republi-
can party. 1t is brand new party"
he said. Furthermore, he added that
those Republicans who had refused
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY,

Subec1 pbers of tho state Journal
evyny from home during the summer
may have the paper mailed regularly
each day to any address at the rate or
ten cents a Week or thirty cents a
month Thy nail only. Address
changed as often as desired. While
out of town the State Journal Wall be
IN you like a daily letter from home.
Advance payment Is requested on
these short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

to stand with the new party are bigots.
However, this compliment might we'll
be returned to the Colonel. An ac-
cepted definition of bigot is "a per-
son who is intolerant of opinions
which conflict with his own This
seems to fit the Colonel even a little
better than it does those to whom he
aDDlies it
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

OF the 100 deaths from violence
that occurred in Kansas during the
month of July, not one is charged
up to the fractions automobile or
motorcycle. while no less than II re-
suited from runaways or by injury
from animals
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
[From the New york Press.l

IFrom the New York Press.I
F'lattery wins the world.
The everlasting problem of life is how
not TO have any problems.
The way a woman knows her clothes
are sensible is they make men senseless.
a man thinks he has a natural gift for
farming If he knows load of hay from =
ton of coal
What a girl likes about having her older
sister engaged is how she can borrow her
fancy stockings without telling her.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

As was to have been expected, that
new explosive invented by an Italian,
whose biggest recommendation was
that it could be handled and shifted
about without danger, blew it's inven-
tor to atoms recently while he was
experirn enting with it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

Uncle Ike Stephenson is reported
to be seriously ill with a severe cold.
And wouldn't it be cruel if fate should
prevent him from getting the worth
of the 100000 it cost him to land in
the United States senate, where he
has three more years to serve?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

New York doctors are puzzled by
the fact that man can live with part
of his brain torn away. Strange,
isn't it, when you are willing to swear
that you know several persons in good
health who are apparently without
any brains?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

Colonel Roosevelt is altogether too
modest. He says the Bull Moose plat
form is the best one that has ever
been presented by any political party
since the Civil war. Some of his more
loose-tongued admirers declare it to
be on a par with the Sermon on the
Mount
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

Isn't Madame Nordica the mean old
thing? She has discovered a method of
reducing flesh that doesn't demand
violent exercise or a strict diet, or any,
thing like that And she won't tell any
body a single thing about it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

An expert in the premises is author
ity for the statement that all the men
in the world will be bald inside of
zoe years and that all the women will
be in the same predicament within
500 years. However, this is something
that the present inha bitants on earth
have no cause to worry about. But
some of them surely will.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02
TELEPHoNEs.
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The state Journal is a member Of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
Eanization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka
The news Is received in The State Jour
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

Many reformers must be hard up
for material to keep them in the lime
light in view of vo1uminous criticism
they are now directing against the
narrow skirts that are so popular
with most women.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

Any doubt that Champ Clark is
one of the few good losers in the
world is dispelled by the vigorous way
he is whooping it up for Governor
TUiI-ou
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

Colonel Roosevelt made one of his
famous whirlwind tours through YER
mont the lther day. But it is not so
easy to fool tho Green Mountain Boys
as their nickname might indicate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

Most people will now agree that truth
is at least as strange as fiction. A New
foundland dog saved a young woman
from drowning in the Raritan river the
other day. Or so says dispatch from
New Jersey
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

Perhaps if woodrow Wilson's pros
poets for victory were not SO good,
he wouldn't find campaigning for
the presidency such enjoyable work.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

At last the road to easy street in
old age has been opened up to every
young man. DIR. ]. H. West, an ag-
ricultural expert of Fargo, N. D.,
provides the recipe. He says that if
boy, twenty years old, sets aside all
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

oh. you Kansas corn! Nine ears
are reported on a stalk in the vicin-
fly of Sterling, Rice county.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

Everybody in Topeka can help in
crease the attendance at the State
Fair by inviting friends to visit them
during fair week
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02

All aboard for Boise, Idaho. Jack
Frost has arrived there.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02


Can we afford to stunt the railroads
growth? This question. which is ask
ed III all seriousness, will be passed
lightly by most people, but a farmer
who wants to market his grain or
stock and who runs up against a car
shortage, Will tell you a few things.
lie Will tell you that his prosperity
depends on the prosperity of the rail-
roads; that the interests of the farmer
and the railroad are. in a measure,
IDENTICAL In a season of plenty both
are prosperous If products can be
marketed. In a bad season each suf-
1ers, and, in addition the railroad
must night the politician who would
make the people believe their misfor-
tune is due to ruinous railroad infiu-
ence or discrimination. How the
Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe with all
1t has done for and is still doing for
the great state of Kansas, has had to
combat this sort of thing. Against the
evil effects of the political agitator the
Santa Fe has fnaugurated an educa-
tlonal movement; It has taken the
people into its confidence. given them
facts-actual facts-as to the cost of
operation, bonded indebtedness per
mile, taxes etc. and mas inspired con-
hdence. The result is noticeable. Rail-
roads are not being attacked by the
politicians as formerly. Although
politicians had largely changed their
tune those who formerly rode into of
fec on a wave of railroad abuse, were
either defeated at the primary election
this year, or were elected by greatly
reduced Observation-Disclosures Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-02
ABsTA1N From IeNoRANcE.

Ignorance would tear down exist
ing institutions and breed riot and
anarchy where there is now law and
order 1t makes no discoveries. no
inventions. nor does anything to bet
ter the condition of the human race.
1t goes from the cradle to the grave
in a random way, with no pilot. no
objective point, and it's frail bark is
often wrecked in this tempestuous sea
Of life. 1t fills the land with vice
and crime, builds jails aim houses
and penal institutions and is the ser
want of nature. Our school is here to
counterfeit all this evil influence and
TO make it possible for every young
man and young woman in this county
and vicinity to fit themselves for some
useful and highly profitable calling in
life and that the world may be better
for their having lived in it.-Sharon
Springs Western Times.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1912-07-11
OTHERS HAVE LEARNED.

That: a piece Of garden hose
makes an ideal carpet beater.
While STOUT enough m dislodse tie
dust. i.s fe1ibility prevents The wear
and tear given by the ordinary suck
g rattan heater.
That: A few drops q paregoric
PLACED in & small basin o. water VII
attract and destroy ell The ants on
the premises. Use q shallow basin
and Won VIII be- surprised az The
number your "ant trap viii catch
Thst. Fewer buttons viii be lost
O. broken 4 you unbutton ell cloth
ing before sending u 20 the laundry.
That. Il pays 70 have the worn
4 edges q large rugs bound with
leather-onlr g PIN shows on the
right side-and that leather keep.
/ the rug fat and outwesrs any Other
( binding.
That: To propcrly-dust books, yo-
I should take them by the half-dozer
from the shelf, hold them loosely OF
table. their front edges downward
backs uppermosL Then with g han'
e. either side q the little pil
strike them snsrtly together a fel
times. Now lay on end, top edge
uppermost, and repeat the concus
J slcr-
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1912-07-11
FAST PACE or BUSY TOWN
Time PASSES ir a. increci BE Manner
anS Ns5oSy Ever Has Spare
Minute.

A Young boy eloqusntly dilsting
on The delights q The small town n
which be lived, the baseball games,
fishing. drives. pienios, etc, vas n
terrupted by his listener, who asked
euriOUsiy:
but What DO ron DO with your
self u the evening n q place %
that son, where there are no the
Isters OF a-nusements o. any KIND =
Why, answered the youth, i
stand around IL the drug store on
the corner talking 70 e lot q fel-
Iowa and, al q q sudden, / ssk
what tine is Il And what do Won
ithinks ISs twelve o'clock Time
passe< Just ike that Never saw
lanyrhing ike il. Gone before YOU
know i. NOBODY ever has spar'
minute
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1912-07-11
OUR EMBARRASSING LANGUAGE

Once there vss az American girl
who had been permitted 70 spend
year IN England just at q critical
point in her education.
She was not there long enough 70
become really Bntish-oniy loug
enough % learn 70 mispronounoe a
few American words, and 10 commit
homicide Cd & few bits q American
rhetoric. In spite Of these things,
a American man fell X lore with
her.
BE proposed-sbe accepted. But
sic was still bit COY. When hs
opened bis arms and dashed forward
20 taste the luscious frogrance 81
her lips, she demurred.
~No, Billy" she said-"you can.
not kiss ne on the mOuth-yet. But
you may kiss me on eytber check 2
Billy stared, but did not move.
~Why do you hesitates" sh'
blushed.
"I'm trying TO choose which
I cheek." he answered.
And then she had 10 explain tia
~eyther" not only meant '.either
bat ~each." IL was swfully embaF
raising, but what could the poor gin
dor And il was her own fault.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1912-07-11
Sign OF 4 HARD WINTER

Gen. Nelson A. Miles wac a. the
army 2sroplsne grounds, watching
'eEperiments IN flying. Several q
che birdnen had been ia the ar.
A native came along. Looks Ike
we're going 10 have q hard winter,
snighty csld," said the native.
What makes you think sOT~
asked General Miles.
AOk, them rich folks from Up
north is goin' south 90 early"
~Are beyT
"Sure they srei seen three
hocks Of them fyin' south today a.
enthusiastically Evening Post
--~-~
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1912-07-11
NORGE NEWS

Norge, Va. July oth.-Rev Gun
dcrsou. Of Hoboken. N. J. preached
in Zion Luthern church last Sunday.
and Rev. Martin BiernsOn. OF Wiscon-
sin preached IN Bethany church. the
D rssor Rev. BrekhuS. was in Norfolk.
where he held Norwegian services in
toe English Luthern church.
Mr. A. c. Rowland. and family OF
Williamsburg. spent Sunday at
Norge. visiting friends.
Mr.. and Mrs. B. Larson. of VII
Eansburg. was here Sunday visiting
n L. A. RustadS.
Mss Nellie Anderson, OF Norfolk.
spent the 4th with her people he-e.
returning to Norfolk yesterday
morning.
Mss Clara Kiads. IS spending the
week visiting friends al Skinino.
ny. 3. o. Score, has returned az
re- spending some tine visiting bis
old home IN North Dakota.
Mrs. Sophie Stephens, Of WI
hsnsou-g. was visiting with Mrs. A.
?. Peterson. last week.
Mr. and Mrs. Coleman Saunders,
OF Richmond. Mrs Chas. Scott. and
children. and Miss Stella Jensen, 81
WILLIAMSBURG. spent the +th With A
J. Hall and hniiy. OF an outing 70
York Rive.
NJ. T.. A. Bergt, returned tron
tae Rural Letter carriers convention
Monday evening and reports having
me tine. he IS now taxing lis al
nusl vacation, Il. K Tyssen. subsu-
tute IS serving Ire route
Mr. J. +. Hughes. was II Rich
uond lsst Saturday.
Mr.. and Ms. Boyd Henry and
Mr.. and Ms. 7. A. Msrs,on, sPen'
the 4th a. Tssizinas o. the York
Mr.. and Mrs. y O.esea. and child
ren. also spent the -th OF the I'VE
shore.
NJ. Glacius Maluin. who has bee
visiting AZ J. 3 Jensens has retu1neC
70 his home II MIN
Mss Msble and Selma HeieI
49,. - f--r--h he-c With Ms
Cara Kln6e
Among those here who went Z
me Seasho-t the fourth were ca
Anderson. Willie Volneberg. Tide
and Arthur Wright and Newnz
Richardson.
NJ. 3. W. Fenren. II putting Up
handsome residence OF the proper
ADJOINING us w1te's parents NJ. an
MrS- John Pitts. near Crosker. A.
VII make i his home.
Mss Emma Roulsrd OF william
burg. spent last week with her parcn
NJ. and Ms. Nisls Roulznd.
Mr.. Hans Christ. O. Nsgruo
hzs MS threshinE machine nc
tnresh.ng oats and wheat, several
TIE farmers had 4 oats and we
this year and the crops did We
these crops arc beng grown nc
and more esch year and proves ve
satisfactory and profitable
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1912-07-11
CAPT. JOHN LAMB
To SPEAK HERE

Capt. John Lamb. Congressman
from this district and candidate tor
reelection. will speak at the Court
house on Saturday night. Capt
Lamb has many friends here and
will no doubt have large audience
out TO hear him.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1912-07-11

Dysentery is always serious and
often a dangerous disease. on, II can
be cured. Cnamberlain's Coles
Cholera and Disrrhoes Remedy ha
cured it even when malignant ano
epidemic. For sale by all dealers.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1912-07-11

Mrs. A T. Iamsn has purchased
two builcing lots in the O'Keete
addition. Wsst Williamsburg. from
r T. Armistead. trustee.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1912-07-11

Rub-My. ism VII cure you.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-06-22
"The Gates of Silence .

STORY LOVE, MYSTERY THRILLING PoR.
TRAVAIL LIFE BEHIND