The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1912-03-28

/ Register.
With all respect for our honored
and obese President, we must saw he
has the gift OF what we call the ice
wagon style OF oratory. He rumbles
ponderously over his subject; and
while what he says is good enough Il
is said so heavily. There Is never a
scintillation or a flash to tighten Il. an
epigram or phrase or taste of ginger
TO relieve 1t. 1t is sense usually: but
sense may be made so solid as to give
the recipients of ii intellectual indi-
gestion and the feeling Of having swal-
lowed wrought iron wedge.-Roa-
noke Times.
After all, the methods of Colonel
Roosevelt are quite simple. Any one
can carry them out to a certain noint
All one has to do is to open an office.
| hire manager and write letters COM
| plimenting the public on its wisdom
IN demanding his nomination.-Ad-
vance.
Colonel Roosevelt has volunteered
for jury duty, but the court doesn't
seem to want him any more than the
/ people want him as President.-New-
port News Press.
If Theodore Roosevelt remains
much longer on the political stage he
will become as much of a paradox as
was Horace Greedy during his cam
paign in 1872. Most of the latter's
time was occupied in attempts to ex-
plain what he had previously uttered
during his career.-Alexandria Ca
zette.
Richmond Democrats will hold a
primary as soon as somebody can in
terpret the Byrd primary bill as fin
/ ally passed by the General Assembly.
| No one is willing 20 venture a predic-
| ton as to how long this will take
Fredericksburg Journal
1t is about time for the Republican
| progressives TO ponder over the strange
spectacle of their candidate standing on
a platform Of radicalism and trusts
Amundsen found the South Pole and
came away and left it. In the mean
| time the world is concentrating the
Norwegian explorer on his success The
/ most of II is to be attained hereafter
TOT he has a news story OF surprising
/ money for it-more than the South Pole
is worth.-Charlottesville Progress.
The Judge who sent Brandt TO prison
| for thirty years for the theft OF two
| scarfpins gave a nine-year term TO a
man who looted a company OF $4,000
! Far be il from us, however. to Intimate
| that every judge is not infallihle and
incorruptible, or to take issue with
"A
vicious scheme TO place the judiciary
at the mercy OF the ignorant and unjust
: mob.-Herald-Cou
Colombia did not severely chastise her
minister Senior Ospina, because he told
Mr.. Knox that visit by him TO that re-
public would be 'Inopportune." The
! truth is, IL has rather rewarded him by
arranging that he go to the court Of St.
James, and for his temerity has given
him a sort OF Nobel prize" as IL were
-Staunton Dispatch.
The man who drew the bin taking
away from the cities OF the Common
wealth the authority to tax the rolling
stock OF railways admits it's unconsti-
tutionality. Attorney-Genera vii
/ liams. TO whom Governor Mann re-
ferred the measure for an opinion as
stitutional. The joke is on the man
VINO dratted the law and whose con-
thlng in contravention OF the consti-
/ tuition. II may be. however, that things
VIII turn out as to show the joke on
| the head OF the department Of justice
/ of Virginia And when Roanoke has
/ to close several of her public schools
because Of the change in the law no
whole matter.-IndeN-Ap
Manager Dixon. of the Roosevelt
boom. must be a man with very little
sense or very short memory. With
shocked dignity and outraged sense OF
decOrum. he laments that Manager Nc
KinleY, of the Taft steam roller, per
mitted himself to allude to the pending
presidential contest as "a game" Yet
but three weeks ago Colonel Roosevelt
signihed his aspirations for the presi-
dency with the announcement my hat
gle in the aspect of a prize fight. Later
he continued the metaphor by inform
/ ing the public that he was stripped to
the bun-inferentially hat. coat waist
/ coat, shirt and undershirt of and his
Suspenders tied around his waist, to
hold up his breeches and prevent a COM
] downfall ~ faff ,v,l
/ impairment Of his freedom OF move
ment.
Some games are gentleman's games,
! demand intellect of high order and
may be played with the most frigid re-
| gard for delicacy and department
whist and chess for instance. But the
| man whose hat is in the ring and who
| is stripped to the buff, must expect to
| do a certain amount Of caVorting and
| back TO nature business. including some
! gouging.-Roanoke Times.
One of the uplifters of the drama is
endeavoring to establish a theater
where tea will be served between the
acts. 1t is expected that no actor or
actorette who is unable to make fudge
will be permitted to defile the stage by
appearing upon it.-Chicago Record
Herald.
a New York man has invented al.
OH lIlal VIII make lne person RUBBED
in it invisible. If bill collectors would
take a bath in this oil before start
ing on their rounds they might have
less trouble finding the parties they
are looking fOr.-Herald-Cour
The backbone of winter is broke,
and so is most everybody else
Staunton Leader.
Never before did Colonel Roosevelt
realize the full power and efficiency
of the pie-counter statesman.-Staun-
ton Dispatch.
= writer of pleasant things for the
declares that strawberries require a
Southern exposure" That's not all,
be dadl They require also high sal
ry.-CharlOttesville Progress.