davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
Eased His Feelings.

Couldock's company was once barn
storming through Virginia. 1t was at
Petersburg. and the play was THE
Chimney Corner" All through the au-
dience sat in distressing silence. nei-
ther laughing nor shedding II tear, al
though The Chimney Corner" abounds
with humor and pathos, and the COM
pany then producing II WAS Of great
merit for those times. Couldock sp-
peared to pay no attention To the apa-
thy of his audience until just at the
close OF the performance The con
Guiding lines of the play are somewhat
to this effect: You, John, are happy,
and SO are you. Ellen; so am !, and SO
are we all. Let US hope that our
friends, the public, share our happi-
ness" But, to the surprise or every
body, Couldock fell into Il towering
passion when he reached these lines.
and in laundering tones he said:
You, John, are happy, and 80 are you.
Ellen; SO am |, and SO are we all ex-
cept the - fools that have been
sitting like stoughton bottles In front
of the footlights tonight "-Argonaut.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
a pRospEEIrY GuACE.

iUs auau4! .Jmmary Of traffic
rar.az p th, 500 canals. now published
Tor Ia1'. rauaua the ever-fresh won
der over ths Development Of this vast
inland NAVIGATION that goes on before
our ewes every year without losing it's
marvel For time il seemed to have
attained It's height. and showed signs ~
aIarkening but this summer it has re-
turned 60 its former habit of breakin.-
aI records and the bravest prophet
may hesitate now To set bounds to its
future
Dr. is only with Itself that the lake
traffic can Dc compared, observes the
Detroit Free Press. Nowhere else on
earth are figures to be found by which
TO measure its progress. The suez
canal, az yet the most crowded of
other waterways for long distance
traffic. is almost deserted when put
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
Ready to Fight For II.

He was grand actor and a won.
derful man In tragedy. He could rip
open a grave and learn all the secrets
Of sorrow and darkness. He did 1t
every night. and In every town which
he played he hired n large band OF
supernumeraries who played the part
of the mob. Not knowing anything
about art or the story Of the play the
only thing that interested supe was
whether or not he got his 20 cents for
landing up AS a member OF the mob
One night tough young man had
been taken down into the coal cellar.
which had been kindly turned over
to the supes as their dressing room
and In q temperature where the mer-
curry firted with the freezing point he
had gone through the more or less
painful performance OF getting him
self into the fragile dress Of Roman
citizen He was hurried to the stage
and appeared in the limelight just as
the great actor. the hero. rushed to-
ward the mob and shouted tercely:
NO quarter, No quarter shall you
have this day."
This was the browning touch To all
that the young man had suffered In
order to get his quarter
Don't get no quarter he called
out in shril voice III don't get
that quarter tonight III bounce this
spear off that bean OF yoursw-Popu.
lar Magazine.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

beside the showing Of our own waters
The year 1903 was the best known in
the far eastern canal, but It's total In
net registered tonnage then was bu;
l5,401,527 tons. While the correspond
ing figures at the 500 now are Sc, 49,
500 tons. And the Suez canal is In OPP
Grafton the year around, where the 500
canal must narrow It's business INTO a
bare cight months.
The water gauge Of the country IN
dustry marks nigh this year Let Us
hope that the point il has reached may
be passed yet many times ana that the
prosperity 1t indicates for the country
may continue unimpaired.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
Tskinq More Care.

IL was a perfect lady who telephoned
us this story. and therefore Cor never
theless, according to how you look at
~ we assume that it is both new and
true, says the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
II decided the other day that my
little boy was getting altogether too
big 10 have me sit with HIM till he
Went 10 sleep. And while ] was
breaking him Of this habit ] thought
ia quit leaving a light in his room,
TOO. He's 5 years old. So last night
J kissed him good night and said:
Now Harold, you are going TO be
mama's big, brave boy tonight and go
10 sleep all by yourself
Well he answered, I'm try. But
leave the light burning
No, dear. If you're going 10 be
a big boy, ! must turn out the light.
Have ] got to sleep in the dark -
Yes
Then wait a minute till ] say my
prayers again an do IT carefuller "
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
- The -
Scrap Book
A Dead Loss.

This is one OF Sir Thomas Lipton's
stories:
During the month OF May | was mo
toring through France | had rs my
guest Sir Thomas Denver Al the end
of our trip We arrived In Boulogne and
We're obliged Ia wait an hour OF SO for
our boat While waiting Sir Thomas
went out and got "A great pile of news
papers and gave them 10 me. Then he
went away for awhile | was stand
ing there with all the papers under my
arm when Yankee. evidently IA tour
lst came rushing mp to me and with
out waiting for a formal Introduction
said.
Say, have you got any New York
papers,
NO" l said. hut I've got all the
London dailies." for Sir Thomas had
been most generous in his purchases.
Give me this one. said the Yankee
picking out n paper. How much is IL :"
"A tuppence," | told him. He paid
1t and took the paper
When my friend returned | handed
him the tuppence and said:
See. I've made you 100 per cent
profit on your paper"
Profit" he roared. Don't you know
YOU are on the continent? | paid "Trip.
pence for that. and I've lost 30 Ia per
cent on the paper" New York World.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
Beyond Him,

In our north of England town there
was IA shiftless man who would never
accept gifts outright. although he was
always depending on charity. says Al
Priddy In his book, Through the Mill"
He painted landscapes, and my aunt,
when benevolently inclined, would hire
him TO decorate our walls with rural
scenes. highly colored In glaring tints,
as IL nature had turned color blind
There were cows In every scene. and
Aunt Mile noticed that all the cows
were mp to their knees in water Not
one stood clear on the vivid green
hills.
"Jorvey,' she remarked to the old
man, "why do you always put the
cows In the waterF'
ITS this way. Mrs. Brindin." the
old artist responded. You see. ma'am,
I never learned TO paint 'oofs"
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
Corn Husk's Wisdom.

Elihu Root, at a dinner in New
York. said of the much abused cor
poration lawyer:
The good corporation lawyer gets
mis- client more than was expected and
contents himself with a negligible fee.
The good corporation lawyer reminds
me of Cornelius Husk Of my native
Clinic.
Corn Husk was called In by three
boys Snose father had uneXpectedly
died at holiday time, leaving nothing
behind him but seventeen large tur-
KEYS, The will gave half the turkeys TO
the elest boy a third to the next, and
seventeen live turkeys in that way?
Corn Husk, being consulted, prov
ed equal To the emergency. He drove
one OF his own turkeys into the run,
and then said To the oldest son
Take your half
And the eldest son took nine tur-
keys.
Take your third he said 10 the
second SON
And the second son took six tur-
keys.
Now take your ninth he said to
the last son
And the last son took two turkeys.
Thus all got more than they'd ex-
rected and Corn Husk, amid warm
thanks. drove his own turkey home
again
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
Writing for Posterity.

A story about George Bernard Shaw
comes from London.
A prominent French critic. the story
runs, once said 10 the playwright:
You are putting on a new comedy
Monday night. Let me attend one of
the dress rehearsals. won't you?'
Impossible said Mr.. Show. NY
dress rehearsals are always private
have TO refuse even the most distin-
guished critics access To them
But said the other. ] want to
write a careful criticism. II ! have
10 write IL and telegraph in a few
minutes on Monday night, IL will be
very hurriedly done and | fear that IT
viii give wrong impression of you"
comedy In Paris the next day
Have no anxiety on that score.
Mr.. Shaw replied. My comedies are
not written for the next day
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
- eEgar.sr eATTLEsAlP.

one, he greatest battleship
fin the $50 10 Nv the American
Aas. a ba ip OF nearly twice the
o.sPiaceu.. nd Of more than twice
the dght"- mc!ency Of any vessel
that was .le battle Of Santiago,
less ran ars ago.
This new ..p, the only one author
iscl bv cousress this year, viii be
called The Pennsylvania, and viii cost
tagoooYp It viii nave a displace-
mont Of u 400 tons and -peed OF u
knots
The heavy battery viii be twelve
torpedo tubes supported by a torpedo
defensive battery Of - dse-inch guns
Tie armor plate VIII be It inches
thick
Ii VIII be such on engine OF desuuc.
.ou as viii once more set d mark IN
tas march to yeuta5le noatng fort
r.e.s. It. is the big stick that with
..tt speech is o. continue the United
States or peace With all the world
b. Is USELESS q, alK Of the better
purposes 10 which this Sl2oO0,oOo
could be devoted. what it would do 20
Increase production, 10 develop wa
tcrays 10 build railroads. to develop
water power or reclaim the des-
ort places, comments the Duluth
News Tribune.
Just as long as all other nations
that az, our commercial rivals. and
nst are seeking territorial expansion.
maintain huge uayies and are con
.anu, increasing them, the United
states must keep within speaking dis.
iau.e
d. must have navy sufficient Tor
defense and with urwes defense
means ,nou.c. te protect the Fana-
ma canal. TO prevent aggression
arsins- this hemisphere and a. assure
thar talr play which is the open door
lu world trade
These Things are ugm aud Yet IL ls
DO. necessary 10 80 BACK Of this de-
cad. q, prove that not one of these
would be- safe without battle fleets
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
Reeoanized the Portrait.

whenever | think of Thanksgiving
and turkey" said Chauncey NJ. Depew
recently. II am reminded OF how the
laugh was turned Oh me ON the last
night on board ship In transatlantic
trip. A crowd gathered IN the smoke
room. Everybody had told IA story.
made n speech or done or said some.
thing to contribute to the general gave.
~ with the exception of an elderly
man, who pulled his pipe in silence.
We'll. sir. said I, 1T Is your turn.
Sing song. whistle a tune. dance jig
do something
Hum; II ! did you'd all be sorry
he replied. But how would a comm
drum answer?
Just the thing
Well said he. u twinkle IN his eve
'why-why is turkey az Thank sgivins
like Senator Depewy
Everybody gave II up
Because II Is stuffed with chest
nuts, said he, aud ! tried hard to ap
pear confused"
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
Now's the Time.

Now's the time 10 be adding
IL there's work that must he done
While the earth itself Is woolng
Fsvors from the shining sun.
Not tomorrow. You may never
Hear the bells Of morrow chime.
But for every brave endeaNor
Now's the time
Now's the time 10 be a-movins
II In life you've any aim.
II you're anxious to be proving
What In merit is your claim.
Don't. all. don't today postpone IT.
lis not idleness crime?
II you have not oVerthTown II
Now's the time
Say not even, Il will do IL
Without failure by and by"
That's time with no date to II.
In the shadows let 1t lie
seize the present! IL is flying
Ever from you as you climb.
Now. II YOU are bent on trying
Now's the time.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

only on arrival OF the proprietor that
order was restored.
The men resumed their places. and
the interrupted meal was taken up
again. The clergyman. aghast ut his
mishap, kept broodlng over the mat
ter. showing a wistful desire TO set
himself right with his son at least
why, Bob" he said earnestly. lay.
Ing trembling finger on the slphon.
IL just touched the botte-barely
touched it-like this, you see
There was hiss Of charged water,
followed by II rumble of fury from the
table below. The clergyman had re-
peated his performance with unerring
aim, the stream striking the long hair
ed Frenchman in the identical spot OF
the first performance. There was no
use attempting u second apology. The
two Americans seized their hats and
fed from the gathering wrath-New
York Press.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
A Vary FUNNY Ero,;sbmar.

A story Ia told concerning Beerbohm
Tree. who. after an evening AT one of
the London clubs. called a hanson from
a nearby stand he frequently patron
lied
Home" shouted Tree to the cabby
who was n new one about town.
BEG pardon" said the man
Home" repeated Tree In command
Ing tone. and the driver whipped u
his horse. He drove his fare about a.
half an hour or SO and then returned
again. Stopping his horse and arous.
ing the sleepy actor. he apologized and
asked to what number he should drive
Home" Numbered Mr. Tree this
time thoroughly Indignant
And where might your home be?"
queried the cabby. shaking In his boots
You idiot" replied Tree. do you
think I'm going to tell you where NY
heautifu; home is?"
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

:. NEVER a FRIEND TO
Z. SPARE.


J have friends in the North friends in
the East
Friends in the South and West,
And 1 can them all 10 my hearts glad
feast.
For ! love each one the best
And this 1 know full well
That though in the hearts Of many |
share
T" the very last | viii hold them fast,
For haven't a friend to spare, not
one.
No, never a friend 10 spare.
When tho stars shine out at night,
love - drift IN dreamlike spell
Md think that their lamps hang just
above
The hearts | love so well.
And never sky but meath II
can think Of a loved one there,
For each glad star points where they
are,
But haven't friend to spare. no,
one
NO, never a friend 70 spare.
oh. you Of the far, broad Western
plain,
or YOU of the Eastern shore.
call YOU into my life again.
And hear your words once more,
And though | stray in stranger way
II counts not when nor where,
You shall walk with me
To that silent sea,
For ! haven't a friend TO spare, no,
one.
No, never friend To spare.
Anonymous"
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
Risky Chance

She was n little bit of girl and was
canvassing the neighborhood with II
chance" book In an effort 10 enlist
public sympathy ana ten cent pieces
In an individual charity. She went up
to the big brownstone house brayely
In spite of her childish nervousness
A very pretty young woman answered
the bell
Lady. please, she stammered out,
wont you take IA chance on an old
man sick Ia bed - Everybody's.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
- MLEAns cnRlsTMAs-

..., ,-.-... r,.t.t ,r.r..a H,
.r.rr.. rs.- .,,,e,,. r,.n,,r.
....g ,... ,t. ,.,..,.
.......,,, .. ...., . r,-,-.,... ALL.
-........ ..- ,i-.,o ~. ....,.-
-... ,rl. ..u ....o.....,, ..,,r .,..
.....t ..r.. ...-...,r.,.,..... .r...I..-. ,,..
..... .,.-..,-.r. min. ,,.., ..,..,.....
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

Though China has now over 6.Oop
miles of railroad, says a writer In the
Wide World Magazine, the transpor
tation facilities In many parts 81 the
country are quite as primitive as they
we're thousand years ago. The
Wheefbarrow with a sail rugged up to
help IL along is the commonest con-
Veyance. and now and then, on the
Wind-swept plains OF the north, the
traveller may chance upon such q
string Of these odd craft under sail.
The wind must be well "abaft the
beam to be OF much use; but when
II is blowing strongly from dead
astern' the creaking barrows, with
scant effort on the part Of their
'heimsmen," are often driven along AT
a speed Of six Or seven miles an
hour
A reader questions the use Of the
word replica" In the phase "a replica
Of Hudsons ship" a replica, properly
speaking, is a duplicate copy by the
the term Is acquiring "a larger use as
is evidenced by the fact that the OK
ford English dictionary includes n
secondary definition of the word as "a
copy. reproduction, facsimile" and
quotes Kipling and other authors a.
using the word In this wider sense
The Outlook
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
SOME GOOD STORIES
The Castle Builders.

Captain Mervin Crawshay. one OF
the English officers at the New York
hands Of the Dutch officers very phil
osophically.
Bear up, old chap Make the best
Of H." an American said To Captain
Crawshay al the contests end.
oh, | will, never fear. was the
reply, We English are CHEEKY.
hopeful lot. Were always building
castles in the fog"
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
Both Hands Free.

Al the suffrage lunchrooms In New
York, woman electrician the othe,
day showed Mrs. q. H. p. Belmont
q model Of a cradle that rocks by elec
tricity
Mrs. Belmont. after examining the
model with interest. smiled ana said
This invention is Of great value 10
woman-it leaves botn her hands free
Tor the carrying al suffrage banners
and the distribution of suffrage liter
AZURE
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

A chair Of logging engineering to he
tablished in the college Of forestry or
the University Of Washington has
been strongly urged by committee
Of lumbermen. appointed by the last
Pacific Logging congress. II the board
Of regents fails to install the proposed
course Il Is said that members OF the
next logging congress will devise
means OF their owns to finance the
new branch of instruction.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

II England ~ seeking 10 make the
nj the crime why not rule
that any woman found guilty Of de
precautions now ia vogue be barred
from right Of citizenship for all time,
providing vomans suffrage be grant
81 in the future
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
In Distress.

Not long ago bottle. tightly corked.
was picked up by u resident Of st
Brevin, France. He took it to the
maritime authorities. They saw that
the message was written on stationery
of an English steamship line aud 80
hastily sent for the British consul
With much sOlemnity the message was
handed to him. and this is what he
read:
"Ship I'm distress No whisky on
board. FIJI the bottle and return It,"
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
TWO CONSECUTIVE HITS.
An American clsrsymsns Brilliant
Performances In PARIS.


4 well known illustrator while
studying in Paris was visited by his
father diguited and amiable old
clergyman from the west The student
took great delight In conducting his
father about and showing OF the real
life Of the parisians. one evening in
"a quaint cafe the pair sat on sort of
balcony watching eXcitable men yes.
ticulaune aud talking To each other.
when the reverend gentleman iuad
yerteutly put his hand ON u siphon of
yichy aud squirted stream straight
into the face OF an anurchistic lacking
individual at a table below The cafe
was In an uprOar at once The two
Americans were surrounded by French
men, talking yehemently. demanding
and apology, and II was
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

China is said 10 have asked for an
American adviser. Colonel Bryan has
probably given as much advice as
anybody on this continent but he is
engaged just now.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

Dr. Mary Walker declares the eating
81 onions viii drive germs away. They
also viii drive your friends away-to
"a safe distance
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
Sic Justjtja.

When lovely woman stoops to folly
And gets the man she tries to kill.
The jury soothes her melancholy
And sends her into vaudeville
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
Vast Britain empIsA

More than twelve million sm,ar.
miles are embraced in the British
empire
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

Surgeons removed the stomach of a
Fort Wayne, Ind, man and nc is alive
and well Solved the problem Of the
high cost Of living.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

Punta Arneas, Chile. southernmos'
city In the world has a population OF
10000.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
Daily IhauahA

The great difference In men 10 not
In moral Judgments. but In moral 10y.
alties.--Willisms.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

New York In the first week IN
December imported feathers valued al
Ses,s9s and furs valued at S264,5i4,
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27
THIS is MY 9th BIRTHDAY"

Charles Henry Gordon Lennox, sew
cuth Duke II Richmond, possessor Of
one OF the proudest and longest titles
III the pecrage OF the United King
dom, was born in London December
-. ls45. and succeeded his father up
on the latters death in 1893. His
family traces a direct descent from
Charles II and his favorite. Louise
Renee, and through scores of inter
marriages which have taken place
since 1913 has allied itself closely
With most Of the foremost families OF
England. The present duke enlisted in
the Grenadier Guards and served gal
laGtiy through the last war in South
Africa. In parliament he has repre-
scented two divisions Of Sussex. His
principal home is Goodwood. in Sus-
sex, IN. scene Of the famous annual
race meeting of that name In addi-
lion, ne possesses magnificent resi-
uence in London ana a castle in Scot
land.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

Sir Mackenzie Powell former prime
minister of Canada SO years old to-
CAV.
Duke Of Norfolk. the premier duke
Of the United Kingdom, Go years old
today.
Sir John Hay Macdonald inventor
Of numerous devices for saving life
20 sea, IS years old today
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

Gas Is being extracted from the
cottonwood trees of Kansas,
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

French presidential election will be
held January 16.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

EnplIsh-spsakIns Psopisa
Just about 10 per cent. OF the worios
Inhabitants speak the English isr
GuaSe,
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

Birmingham. Eng, no~ has popu'
lation of s4O,373,
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1912-12-27

There are $500 licensed airmen in
the United States.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1912-02-25
EDWARD HINES FILES
SUIT FOR BIG DAMAGES

CHICAGO. Feb. 24.--Edward Hines. the
wealthy lumber dealer. whose member
ship in the Union League club here was
Cancelled yesterday. today filed suit
against Clarence 8 Funk for Sl00, 900 IN
the circuit court.
Funk, who is general manager OF the
International Harvester company testi-
ued before the senatorial committee in
the Lorimnr inquiry that Hines told him
he had put 1.orilner over and had re-
qnested That the harvester company con-
tribute $4,000 to the expenses or the
clectlon OF the senator.
Only praecipe in the suit was filed.
out
According 10 Attorney e. l., Allen. who
Med the suit the action Is for slandcr
Attorney Allen declared il was probable
ina, no further steps would be taken in
The case until the completion or the Lori
mer bearing in The United States senate
lie declined TO state what specific ut
tcrance Of the defendant was the cause
OF the suit and refused to say whether
any proceeding looking toward the rein
statement of Mr. Hines in the Union
League club would be begun.