Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-15
6 &:??EEES ;$ 8Mz5??
NT by Roy .Moulton. q

10 that 1 got a photograph Of you
pulling off any stunt like that. Matilda.
when | come home"
Any time l bang my head on the
floor for any two-legged biped with
q n~annygoat whisk.r and a wart
on his nose. | don't said Mrs. Meek
with considerable emphasis.
Furthermore. in Japan" continued
Mir. Meek. the husband can go home
at . O'Clock in the morning with a
4o-hors@power seven passenger jag on
and his wife approaches him on her
hands and knees and kisses his hand.
She calls him honorable king or
sweet potentate' and then she raps
her head on the floor seven times
and tells him that he is the ruler of
the universe and that she isn't At 10
i've with him. What does the wife
in this country do? Does she Bang
her head on the floor: No. She
bounces a rolling pin on the head OF
her loved one and yel!s 'BanZai.
Votes for women. Then she hits
him again for fear she missed him
the first time. ] am glad hat l have
had considerable backbone and have
never allowed my wife to walk over
me. What l say around this shack
goes. There are times when l feel
like a regular Japanese. BY the way.
i nave got AN engagement with an
old college chum tonight and prob
ably won't be in until about Midnight
is that So" queried Mrs. Meek.
freezingly. You've got an engage
nent right here with me tonight. and
II you go out. you don't get in again.
Do you get that"
oh. Of course. If you feel that way
about it, my dear. I won't go" said Mr..
Meek.
And he didn't.
IN A NUTSHELL.
The Initiatives:
Taking the train to Reno.
The referendum:
Putting the matter up to the Judge.
The Recall:
Marriage called off by the court.
~
IT is CERTAINLY A SCREAM.
When a newspaper man gets married
and says: With all my worldly goods
| thee endow."
When the father Of the young hope
full artist starts in to explain how it
is right for the father to do certain
things and wrong for the kid to do
them.
When two women get to quarreling
as to which shall have the privilege
of paying street car fare and neither
lone opens her purse.
When a $1,000 a year minister gets
up and tells an audience Of substantial
business men how to succeed in life.
When a lady who has never seen
anything blu East Lynne" and Uncle
Toms Cabin reads a paper before the
club on The Trend of the Modern
Drama.
When a man passes a millinery store
window with his wife and tries to en-
gage her In an absorbing conversation
on the political situation.
THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There's a vast difference between
heredity and environment.
When a young ma goes out into the
world and make good and brings home
bales of long green. buys a house and
lot for his parents and becomes u ia
nous man.. the parents claim 1t Is due
10 heredity.
When a young man goes out in the
world and makes a failure and finally
comes home to live with his parents.
a sort OF shiftless good for nothing,
the parents believe that it is a pure
case Of environment and that there is
TO such thing as heredity.
THE CABINET OF THE FUTURE.
And then. again, when the suffragists
assume control of things in his coun-
try and we have a woman president,
we may expect to see a cabinet made
OF the following:
~ vi lIIAilIS
Secretary of Social Functions.
Secretary of the Drama.
Secretary OF Embroidery.
Secretary Of Cosmetics and Mani
curing.
Secretary OF Bridge Whist.
Secretary of Psychical Research.
Ethical Culture General.
Secretary OF Music and Art.
Sociological Problem General.
.
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.
When a friend tells you something
unpleasant 1t Is always FOR your own
good"
There never was a time II. the his
tory OF this country when there wasn't
somethin' wrong with the tarin.
When a Teller gifts old enough to
know better. 1t Is too late fer him to
take advantage of 1t.
l. II all OF a PERSONS troubles really
happened. he would never live to be
old enough to vote.
Lem Purdy ~ any Teller who
wears a collar and necktie on week
days is a dude and will bear watchin'.
There Amt nothin' colder In this
world than a pair Of clippers when a
barber slaps 'em on the back OF your
neck.
The greatest thing that can happen
to any cat IL to some day have his
various violin.
II doesn't matter much who's elected.
It 10 always q grand victory for the
common people temporarily.
n say. the common people seem
to be getting more common right along.
One cent post.ge Z goin' to make
want to write love letters.
There Amt no woman who looks AZ
good at . o'clock In the morning az she