El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-06-01

4 am glad you spared me that last
/ humiliation can never forgive my
self for being happy in your company
{ nor for spurning the hand stretched
/ out to lift us from this degradation"
Squire Hawkins" L said in bitter
! ness
yes. squire Hawkins, wnom you
! would have insulted as you nave US.
/ And to think that Just because 1 had
/ listened to him and believed myself
| unworthy of your love. You must eN-
! cuse me now" she added in cutting
| tones, for I must go TO prepare your
I dinner. 1 suppose there will be one
/ less to provide for tomorrow
She started to leave the room, but L
[ stood in front Of her.
NO, I will not go. You do not I'M
[ derstand. 1t was with love yelling in
my heart that 1 wrote that last letter.
I I. had been ordered home, and I wrote
that letter that / might stay another
fortnight After you had promised to
be my wife / would have told you all
and together we would have read It.
and in the richness Of the future we
would have laughed over it together.
No, / viii not 60 1 Will stay and tell
Bud and the colonel They will IN
derstand and plead for me. And if you
/ love me-
If I ever did, you killed it the mo-
ment you confessed to have written
so about one you prOfeSsed to love, one
whom you should have protected and
helped TO hide from the world that
which she feels so degrades her. In
stead of which you hold it up to pub
LEFTY and to the Scorn of the world.
You cannot stay here longer. Don't
force me to tell father or my brother;
that would be more that l could bear
She put her hand towards q chair as
If to keep her from falling. I came
a step nearer, but she drew back, in
voluntarily steadyinS herself, and look
ing me I'm the face and with a voice vi
brating with emotion, said:
Don't touch me 1 never want to
see you nor hear of you again"
She swept past me, and I sank into
a chair. overcome with grief and NOR
tificatiOn- How long 1 sat there 1 do
not know Every time l heard a foot
fail I would start up expecting to see
her come back, thinking in my foolish
heart that she had relented. Bud came
in and found me sitting in the dark.
He told me dinner was ready, ana We
entered the dining room together. Miss
Ellen came in late, for it would have
been unlike her to have stayed away.
In a perfectly natural voice she told
them j had been called away. Bud
begged me to stay, and the colonel anC
Mrs. Turpin made me promise to come
again. That night was a dismal one.
Miss Ellen would not play and soon
went to her room left the next
morning, Bud remaining from his wOFE
to drive me to the station. Miss Ellen
bade me farewell in the hail, but AVOID.
turned into the cedars 1 looked back,
and only the colonel and Mrs. Turpin
were standing on the porch to wave me
a farewell i hardly spoke to Bud on
the way, but ! made him promise that
if anyone should get i'll at the Pines he
would write me at once. At the station
/ found a letter from the managing
editor telling me that my last contri-
button was the cleverest bit of writing
I had ever done and that the paper
had advertised another one for the fol-
lowing Sunday.
I tore his letter into fragments. and
going to the telegraph office wrote out
the following telegram and sent it,
Accept my resignation. I will leave
for the west tonight on personal bust
ness"
1 grasped Bud hand. but was unable
to speak word. 1 boarded the train
my hands, with my face turned towards
the Pines mS scul fun Of sadness, with
not ray Of'sunlight IN my heart.
/ did not go west Immediately after
leaving the Pines. as ] had intended
doing. but remained within the state,
hoping valnly to get some word OF
forgiveness from Miss Ellen In my
calmer moments 1 reviewed my visit
she so condemned seemed to me to
be my least offence. Though 1 under
stood her resentment and appreciated
the position she had taken, 1 felt. how
Obeying her, and now wished that 1 had
remained at the Pines and confessed
everything to Bud. 1 believed then. as
L do now that he would have under
stood me better than Miss Ellen had
done and would have pleaded my
cause for me, though j doubt whether
he or anyone else at that time could
have shaken her determination not to
admit me to her friendship again.
1 would wake up each morning re-
solved TO quit the state that day but
before noon / would change my mind
as I seemed utterly incapable OF tear
ing myself from the neighbOrhOod of
the Pines. 1 even looked and lOnged :
for some change OF feeling which
might blunt the edge of my grief. but
none came, and my love seemed to
grow stronger each succeeding day. 1t !
was maddeninE 10 think that had lost |
er edge was the knowledge that I had I
FOREVER put 1t out Of my power TO be /
of any. service to her or to lend assist
ance to those she loved. / would be-
pangs Of Jealousy. I had no doubt |
that the squire would renew his suit,
and feared that she might be led,
in her bitter resentment towards me-
to accept his hand in marriage. /
wrote her several letters begging for |
her forgiveness, and If she could not
grant me that TO try at least to under
stand the feelings which had PROMPTED
me TO write the letters which had been
the means Of separating us. I told her
Of the hopeless state of mind into
which I had fallen, and that 1 believed
that my life would be aimless unless
she would touch the magic spring
which would set my blood aglow once
more and arouse the dormant ambition
within me TO accomplish something in
the world.
I wrote on and on. I exhausted my
logic and mental powers to make her
understand 1 reviewed my visit to
the Pines at length, from the moment
1 had met Col. Turpin to the last in
terview 1 had had with her. Ny first
mistake, I told her, had been in letting
my Introduction to her and her moth
er, as a relative of the Kentucky Pal
mers. go unchallenged. I explained how
I believed myself to have been merely /
bOarder, and the almost fatal mis-
take I had made in speaking to the |
colonel on the subject Such hospital
ity 1 was unaccustomed to, nor do 1 now
fully understand the promptings Of
that kind old heart when he invited
me to the Pines. 1 told her of my life /
and of my work; how / had come into |
her section with the bitterest feelings |
against it. Ny one ambition, 1 told
her, was to arouse a hostile sentiment
in New England against the political /
party then in power in nearly all the !
southern states. j did not conceal from