davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06
81 ODE SIGHTS
By THE ATcHISON GLOBE.

When woman gets married she has
made home run
A sedate man just naturally hates one
who smiles all the time.
Favors are generally charged up. with
compound interest attached.
Most employers are as loyal to their
employees as the employees are to them.
The Denver News is running a "prettv
ankle" contest. Did you everI
It must make a train load of people
feel foolish to be held up by a lone
bandit.
Most men, when talking about a good
town, generally mean a wideopen town
You may not think so but you probably
value.
A pretty woman and a successful man
have one thing in common: both are con
ceited.
It may be true that the world owes you
a living. but you have to get out and
collect 1t.
Most wives think their husbands could
prove an alibi if accused of being at
home.
It is sometimes said of bride: ..wen,
she got married, and I hope she's sat
isfied.''
A boy has just about as much respect
for a dog that won't fight as a gun that
won't shoot.
Jude johnson: while can't drink as
much as some men, I can become as
drunk as any of them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06

and looked at his tongue and then said;
Il think can save you II there Is no
delay
How? What?"
Come across the road with me-"
'fBut-but-''
You come on or I won't guarantee
that you'll live the day Quit"
The widow Lee was washing the last
plate from breakfast She looked her
surprise, and the peddler said:
widow, 1 hear that you are thinking
of removing to Kansas
yes"
Because widow has a better show
there2'
'sThe soil is more fertile, you know"
Never mind the soil This Is the great
and sovereign state OF Ohio
Yes"
And do you for one moment suppose
that a son of this great and sovereign
state is going to see one Of its incest
widow women driven off to Kansas in
order to find love, peace and comtortE
Never Perish the thought. Mr. GrlBgs
your arm around herl Mrs. Lee your
head on his shoulder!
But"
But"
That's right, Fine pose, Figure out
the rest for yourselves, as this Is my
busy day and I've got to trot. So long
Easy as pie when you know how NO
Kansas-no y9wning grave -(Copyr1ght-
ed, 1912, by Literary Press)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06
ADVERTISING Talks

This story was started at As D. m,
December 81, 1911, in order to finish the
old year at work
1t was finished at 1913 a. m, January I.
1872, in order to begin the New Year at
work.
To get anywhere in this world. one
must keep everlastingly at work
To get anywhere with advertising, one
must keep everlastingly at Il.
1t would be pleasant to work eight hours
a day-to play eight hours and to sleep
eight hours, but who can do II in this
work-a-day world7
Not the men who try to accomplish
something.
Just as men must work hard to achieve
anything so must advertising be contin-
uous; 1t must do its work regularly. It
cannot lay Off third of the time I'm
Ike men 1t cannot take any recreation
nor can It sleep
There is one good thing about advertIs-
ing 1t can accomplish. achieve all OF
the time Men must let up sometimes;
they must rest. Advertising does not
need rest. All Ii needs is fresh dressing
up-clothed in new language. II must
keep itself clean and honest and then Il
is all right
What win be accomplished in 1912 in an
advertising way? Who can foretell2 That
1t will be more powerful in its influence
goes without the saying. That there VIII
be more Of it is a certainty. That
IL viii be more dependable and that COPY
will be prepared with greater care. is
sure. That people will respect IL more
can be counted
AS the bells rang out the Old Year and
ushered in the New Year, said 70 my
self:
I wonder II newspapers In 1912 are go
ing to pull together better-if they are
really going to combine in an effort To-
make national advertisers appreciate to
a greater degree their tremendous collec-
tive power as advertising media
Is not that the greatest work the news
papers have ahead OF them this year,
Is not the establishment Of a great Ad-
Eertsing Bureau with subsidiary bureaus
located In different parts Of the country.
the logical way to develop greater in
terest in newspapers
Will the newspapers combine in MAIN
tanning such "A bureau2 Should they not
do so? The field is fertiie-very. IL has
not yet been scratched.
More power to newspapers in 1872 May
1912 bring to them greater advertising
honors.
(To be continued)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.
IRON the Philadelphia Recor

LFrom the Philadelphia Record-J
Patience is a virtue but hustle is a
greater one
A luxury really isn't one after you get
used to it
The man who neglects the present can't
expect much of the future.
The fellow who hooks his watch isn't
the only one who lives on tick.
Unfortunately charity seldom has any
of the qualities of a boomerang
Some men are ambitious to do good,
some to make good. There's a difference.
Life is a grindstone that sharpens the
wits of some men. and the noses of 9th
ers-
Many an old fellow who tells a young
woman he would die for her is really
much stronger than he looks
Recent periodical difficulties would seem
to Indicate that the powder magazine
isn't the only one that blows up
DO you think wedding cake will pro-
duee dreams?'' asked the romantic young
man. mot unless you eat it, growled
the dyspeptic.
BIobbs-'O fficeholders are merely the
servants of the people" Slobbs-''And
like all servants. they want to run the
whole sEebang-
SiIlicus--.yvhy do you Insist upon sllalS-
ing hands with every man you rneets
Cynicus-'-That leaves him with only one
hand free to pick my pocket
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06
TIE LURE or THE POOL HALL.

A letter from a friend explains itself
and needs no comment It follows:
| What is it about a pool hall that is
SO attractive to young men and boys
Is it the crash of the balls. the pound
/ ing on the floor with the cues the
comfortable armchairs arranged along
the wall which can be found filed any
hour of the day? Or is it the hazy
atmosphere thick with tobacco smoke
that attracts the young men of our
town within the doors Of the many
halls along our main street. Can it
be any single one of these? Or can all
be taken together as a plausible ex-
cuse for a young mans entrance into
one or all of them? And yet are they
not to be seen entering them and re-
entering by the half dozen every five
or ten minutes of each day?
Inside, we find care-free youth in
dulging in what is to him delightful
sport, enjoying the open companion
ship of his comrades. Does his moth
er know he is there? Would his faith
er sanction his going even though he
be past the age required for entrance
as given on the sign backed to the
wall overhead? Does not the re-
striction in regard to age serve as an
incentive for younger boys to attain
the required age and gain undisputed
admittance?
TT is a known fact that the people
of Topeka are voicing objections to
the open riot of public pool halls
Whatever the objection is, can't it be
given the proper force and a remedy
decided upon to right what our citi-
zens deem a great wrong?
I'm Topeka, Y. NJ. c. A. work has
far-reaching influence, and is doing a
wonderful benefit for men and boys
The churches and churchgoing people
uphold the Y. M. G. A, its members
and its benefits. Yet does not the as
ISOLATION sanction the game of pool
and permit its progress within its own
walls? Is there any objection?
Nov if all the good citizens think
ing citizens-of Topeka were to dis
cuss and decide upon the abolition of
public pool halls. the movement
would no doubt, be of great service to
Topeka. But during the time that it
would take to put this into effect, how
are we going to draw the patrons of
the pool rooms elsewhere and hold
their attention. Take from a business
its trade and you take from it it's life.
Now let US reason in this manner.
Since there is no real harm in the
game of pool itself, since the 7. NJ. c.
A. of Topeka sanctions the playing of
the game within its own walls, and
since the churches and the association
are largely cooperative in their work,
why not place in some of the churches
pool tables where boys less than the
required number of years, and young
men can enjoy the companionship of
one another. and play pool amid the
best environment?
Give this some thought, you citi-
zens of Topeka, and determine what
YOU can do!'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06
THE WIND.

do not like the rowdy wind.
That buffets me about
That wrestles with me boorishly
Whenever 1 go out.
1 do not like its registering ways
1t is so rude and rough;
Somehow it irritates me more
With every loutish puff.
1t has no mercy for the weak
Who struggle with the blast
But laughs rHo. Ho"' at their distress
And roughly rushes past.
1t plays pranks with the women's skirts,
Disclosing nl-shod feet,
And grabs mems hats and jeerinsy sends
Them rolling down the street.
don't like the rowdy wind
And its ill-mannered ways,
And so 1 always try to stay
Indoors on windy days
-Somerville Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06
HUMOR or THE DAY

Tomnly's Uncle-FIello! Tommy, I hear
you We been sick. Was IT very bad2 Tom
my-Awful- wasn't sick enough to stay
home from Observation-Disclosures Record
Visitor-Are your children doing any
thing for you in this your last illnessi
Old Man-Yes; they're keeping up my life
insurance.-Puck.
Patient-I've been awfully troubled late
ly, doctor, with my breathing Doctor
Hunt I'll soon give you something to
stop that.-Punch.
What did your lawyer friend say when
you asked him for his daughter?' He
refused to answer any question without
a retainer. Satire.
Louig-Is your new cook troublesome?
worse if she were a near relative.-7ar-
per's Bazaar.
Il see another one Of your patients is
dead" Yes; and am greatly perturbed
over his case. l gave him two kinds of
medicine, and 1 don't know which one
1t was that killed him. Judge.
Are these colors fast?" asked the pur-
chaser. ''Yes and no" answered the truth
full clerk. And what might you mean by
that They're fast enough, one way
They'll run the first time they get a
chance '-Baltimore American
How did you get this speech Of Bump
ton's2" asked the editor. Took some of
it down while he was speaking, and some
I copied from his manuscript" replied
the reporter. But this reference to loud
applause, how did you get that2 Was
there any applause mo, sir; I took
that from the manuscript"'-Yo nkers
Statesman.
Does your boy Josh take an interest
in the farm p Hes beginnin' to-" re-
piled Mr.. Corntossel- Hes been shown
me where we could have some dandy
golf links an how easy it would be to
turn the barn into garage '-Washing-
ton Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06
JOURNAL ENTRIES

If charity always began at home
there wouldn't be much left to dispense
on the outside.
X x X
Only in novels does a poor man pro-
pose to a rich girl without knowing or
her wealth.
X X
And the chances are that most grooms
do not look any more foolish at their
weddings than they feel
VI n
Two can live as cheaply as one only
when both are willing to cut out the
unnecessary extravagances common TO
single blessedness-
X X y
A girl who takes advantage of Leap
Year should also remember that the
proprieties demand that she ask the
consent of her young mans father.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.


IF'rom the Chicago News-1
1t takes a lot to live-usually house
and lot
Every man may have his price, but the
Many a man with a get rich quick
scheme goes broke in a hurry
He is a wise man who can keep his
face closed at the right time.
And many man would rather De
called a game sport than good citizen
It's surprising how much people who
write health hints for magazines don't
know.
It doesn't console woman to tell her
that wrinkles are the dimples of second
childhood.
Some things seem more important be-
fore we have accomplished them-r1aT-
rage, for example
4 man and his wife are supposed to
make the journey Of life side by side. but
occasionally a couple travel tandem with
the wife in the lead
The newly married couple who imagine
that they can live on love in cottage
will wake up some morning and find the
rats leaving the place in disgust
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06
SAYS UNCLE CAV

Most men who talk of Selling hap
piness" take the dope route and
death alone robS remorSe OF such vic
Tins Too many of us take our joy
in hypodermic injections We are Meth
er brave enough nor strong enough to
find happiness by natural means, and
must needs do violence to our mental,
moral and physical makeups for a tenn
pOrary pleasure.
To be happy is as natural as to be
healthy Man wasn't made to mourn,
and when all his functio s are work
ing properly, he doesn't. But there
is a widespread heresy that this world
is a vale of tears and that we're all of
US too good to be living here. This is
the viewpoint of the person who "seizes
happiness the viewpoint of the dope
fend." For, whether you seek your
happiness through the intoxication OF
a drul or of liquor or of dissipation
or any unnatural expedient whatever
you resort to is your kind of dope"
The result is always the samoa period
of drunkenness, a period of SOLDERING
up and a period of remOrse. And the
last stage lasts the longest.
No man was ever happy for long
who did not find IS happiness in
natural way-the joy of his work, the
love of his kith and kin, the comrade-
ship of his friends or the intercourse
of kindred minds. Through these COM
mon, everyday mediums the healthy
mind finds satisfaction of tbs craving
mind finds satisfaction of it's mediums
only.
No mind can live outside its natural
atmosphere any more than body
can. These elements constitute the nat
ural atmosphere for the human mind
in this air the human soul fOurishes.
flowers and bears fruit after it's goodly
kind, and into this air naught that is
unnatural, iolent or unclean can enter
without spreading contamination
Copyright, 1912, by W. E. Williams.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06
FROM OTHER PENS
FAITHFUL WORK.

The expression, Faithful work f. all
ways of the same size" appeared IN a
recently published articles. It opens a
world of thought to those who pause
long enough to consider such matters, be-
sides Offering a generous share of COM
fort and encouragement to those who
sometimes grow disheartened at the ap-
parent result OF their efforts. It is true
that the world is not always as apprecia-
tive as it might be, but then while the
world has big heart and, as rule a
kindly disposition, IL does not always
show its appreciation at the moment 1t
is just this apparent lack OF encourage
ment that makes us lose heart al times
and wonder whether after all 1t is worth
while to do our best The big things in
life seem to take up so much room in
the public eye that the smaller and just
as worthy matters are crowded out At
least that is the impression which many
persons form who see the effects OF large
efforts, whether they be along construc-
tive, or charitable or educational lines.
In a way these effects are spectacular:
indeed there Is a large proportion 90 man
kind who require brilliant effects TO make
them display interest in passing events.
The quiet unobtrusive worker intent upon
the results he accomplishes more than
upon the impression he creates is over
looked many times, and after a while the
want Of attention given him and the lack
Of announcement offered him find ex-
preston in his attitude Of growing dis
content towards lfe.-Charleston News
and Courier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06
N. THE HoME-BUmDERs

Few among those who are opposed
to woman suffrage have anything
forcafuI to present in the way of an
argument against the contention that
women who pay taxes are surely en-
titled to exercise the ballot to the same
extent as the men, many of whom are
not even taxpayers. Their answer gen
orally is that, comparatively speaking.
only a small number Of omen are tax
payers. Therefore. it would be ridicul-
Gus to give all the women universal
suffrage so that a few of them would
not be denied any privilege rightly
theirs under a free government.
Perhaps. in a technical sense, the
names of men predominant OF the tax
rolls. But, as a matter of fact. most Of
them pay taxes on property in which
women have a decided interest. There
is not a state in the Union where a
woman has not a | hit to some share
of her husbands property. In New
York state wife has at least a one
third interest in everything that be-
longs to her husband. In Kansas she
has half-interest. In no state can a
husband transfer any of his property,
realty, at least, without the written
consent of his wife. Her name must
go with his on the deed of transfer. So
in reality every wife whose husband
has taxable property, is herself a tax
payer, even If she doesn't hold the dis
agreeable session with the assessor and
her name does not appear on the tax
roll
More than this it's the women in
most instances who play the largest
part in the creation of taxable prop
erty. Say what you please. the women
are the power behind the throne in the
matter of building. Not one-tenth
of the men who own their own homes
today would do so had not their wives
done most of the saving to get the lit
tie capital needed to purchase the lots
or start the construction of the house.
The wise woman wants home of her
own. And it is such women who have
actually been responsible for encourag-
ing most of the men to get into the
homecoming class.
There are no statistic to prove the
truth of the points here raised and
made. They are facts nonetheless. even
if they may be a bit unpalatable to
some men. Nine out of ten men who
own their homes will admit them if
they are inclined to be honestly
minded. Neither would one have to
dig very deep into the affairs of his
friends and neighbors to find that the
women-folk have been the prime
movers in the home-buiIding.
Maybe there are not nearly so many
women's names as mems on the tax
rolls. But there are few pieces of prop
erty on which taxes are paid in which
some woman has not valid interest
And there are equally few pieces of
taxable property that the women did
not materially help to create, either by
or saving.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06


ton Hazards patients have starved TO
death, might lead one to suspect thar
her cure is somewhat Hazardous.
After interviewing t. r., Hon.
Stubbs stopped off in Chicago to un-
load portion of the glad tidings, but
unless T. r. finds time TO put him up
for membership in the Ananias club
least three columns OF his interview
with T. R. left over for the local pa
pers.
Some political bosses think they are
leaders. while they are merely bum
drivers.
Representative sekavec is for Bill
lard, but he will not rely upon the fact
as his only distinction. So, also. are
number of others.
The surest way for a candidate to
win the prize would be to frisk around
until he found a mot unfriendly'' vot-
er, and then hold private election
He should be sure, however. to have
the voter fully guaranteed before tax
ing the risk, and have his nomination.
papers drawn up in advance, leaving,
of course, a dotted line showing said
voter where to sign.
Nearly every woman thinks she I'M
derstands men, but few of them do.
The woman who really understands
them, knows that the weather and
their last meal is responsible for ma
jorfty of their actions.
To talk is natural; some people
learn to keep still, and others let ma
ture take it's course.
It's hard to decide which fades
quickest, cheap shirt or a girl school
teacher.
AS we understand it, Capper is for
T. r. on the grounds that a large
number of Kansas voters are suspect
ed of being for him.
Fred Chicken, of Minneapolis, is go
print this as an obituary of his first
name: after he gets into 1eague BALI,
he will always be known as Fried
Chicken" as a matter Of course
The old soldiers fought for their
colors during the Civil war, and finan-
ciers have held a monopoly on that
colors, however, are 'long green and
gold, instead of red, white and blue.
A man does not necessarily become
meaner with each succeeding year OF
married life; as the time passes he has
to cuss louder and raise a greater dis
turhanee to convince his wife that he
IS displeased about something.
But occasionally one finds man
who is so cussed mean he can enjoy
losing money on a bet because it will
keep his family from spending 1t foor-
ishlH.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06

Aldus Manutius, who in 1888 set up
his Office in Venice. has long been
famous as the first of the publishers
of the famous Aldine classics. which
are today so highly priced by book coll
lectors. He was the author of a Latin
treatise on the metrical methods Of
the poet Horace and originated the
form of type known by US as italic.
and by German printers as "cursive'
type
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR,

From the New York Press.I
Cocktail appetites mean brandy des-
serts.
No doubt pirates had their own opinion
of politics.
There's no disgrace a girl feels 50 keen
" as having a cold in the head.
The one bargain where both sides can
get cheated is the marriage bargain
Some people can be more ashamed Of
being in trade than Of deadbeating those
who are.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06

Maybe LaFoIette's severe arraign-
ment of the newspapers and the maya
zines was prompted by his own expert
ences as the publisher of the weekly
newspaper or magazine that bears his
name. Still it does not follow that all
newspapers and magazines are con
Quoted along the same lines that Mr.
LaFoIlette found it necessary to pur-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06
DAFFYDHS
~ Q. NoALL.

If Chattanooga is a sleepy town does
Cumberland Gap2
(Can the police. Henry. Our neigh
boris chickens are out)
If Pippin proposed to a Ben Davis
would the Maidenblush?
please pass the apple-sauce.)
When clock in the country runs
down does the rustic2
CYes. Father. / did it with my little
hatchet.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06

The scarcity of real good acrobats
is explained, if the practice pursued
by Greek in Cincinnati to make sure
that his infant son would be an aero
bat, is necessary. He broke his baby's
wrists and ankles when the child was
ten days old, so that they would de-
velop greater pIiabiIity.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06

President Madero of Mexico seems to
hold to the opinion that the pen is
mghtier or more troublesome than the
sword. One of his proposed moves to
establish law and order in Mexico con-
Germs the deportation of several news
paper and magazine writer's who have
been working out there
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06

Professor Meade. chief of the gov
ernment's weather bureau at San
Francisco, has invented device that
will give warning of approaching frost
and freezes. It is designed primarily
for the use Of fruit growers. But it
also ought to be a great boon to those
afflicted with water pipes in their
homes
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-06

No one should get overly enthusiastic
over the pronouncement of the weather
bureau that normal weather is to take
its place on the stage for a continued
period Remember it is still the winter
season, and normal weather means
winter weather