Evening star., 1912-11-10
IMME back that umbrella"

IMME back that umbrella
The fine old man turned
haughtily, glanced down at the
rain shedder and without word of pro-
test passed it over to the man who had
yelled thus raucously at him. He seemed
bewildered.
The owner accepted it with a grunt.
Fourth attempt made today to kidnap
this plain old umbrella he said to the
occupants of the lunchroom generally.
II hope" said the fine old man in a
tone of injured surprise. that you dom t
think / intended to steal
No" interjected the owner, bitterly,
of course you didn't. Nobody does.
That's what makes me so mad. If l
laid a pocketbook on this table you
wouldn't touch il, or If you did you'd
chase me a block to give il back to me.
But you and everybody else forgets that
this umbrella isn't yours. Somebody
probably took yours a week ago. Some
body will take this one soon. But steal
WELL / should say not. / didn't steal
this one. | got ii during the last rainy
spell by mistake for an old affair with
three ribs gone. which had been left for
me in exchange for an umbrella that
found"
The question of ownership becoming
too complicated for further consideration
the man with the umbrella took long
swallow of coffee and eyed the fine old
men severely.
You go and buy an umbrella" he ad-
monished, land have a cord tied to one
end of it, which is fastened around your
neck. That's the only safe way.
This incident has happened and re-
happened hundred times on any rainy
day. In lunchrooms, hotels, Offices rail-
way stations street cars, churches and
theaters ii is repeated with slight varia-
tions. Sometimes the umbrella has actu-
ally been taken. In that case the erst-
while owner merely raises his voice In
lonesome howl and shakes his fist
every two seconds as he paddles nome
with the rain beating down upon his un-
protected hat.
Why ii is that with all the umbrellas
that are taken no man ever thinks of
complaining to the police Is mystery
that civilization has evolved for scientists
to conjure over. Police verify the fact
that complaints are almost never made
against takers of umbrellas. Police court
records show that the man convicted of
stealing umbrella is rara avs.
Even when man has just purchased
a new umbrella, something tat is the
pride of his heart and the meditation OF
his soul. he merely bellows loudly when
il is borrowed-belows and inserts an
advertisement in the lost and found col
umns of the newspapers offering reward
for its return.
Many are the explanations offered for
the mystery of the taken umbrella
fiend's ability to dodge punishment One
is that the man from whom the umbrella
is taken usually has taken it from some
OF er victim previously and dares not
pursue his transgressor less similar fate
befall him. Another is that the average
man never can be quite sure where he
left his umbrella
There was one man in Washington who
used to buy one crooked handled umbrella
a week during the dry season. He would
get a supply of from five to fifty on hand
when the steady rain of late fall and
early winter-or late winter and early
spring-began. Then he would wander
forth. He would usually get past three
bars at the beginn ng of the season
Then he would leave his umbrella. hang
ing on a rail and would walk home in
the wet and catch a cold of violent quail
tiles. The next day he would fight man
fully through two barrooms-and leave
his little umbrella hanging on the rail of
the tNird. One night he got as far as
five when. looking around suddenly, he
saw his umbrella beside him.
Lets hurry and get out of here, he
said to his friend. I'm afraid I'll take
that umbrella if / remain here" And
after surprising the man next to him by
handing him the rain protector he fed.
handled umbrellas. but they proved to be
worse than the crooked-handled style. He