Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-06-25
MIR. DOOLEY AT
THE CONVENTION
Copyright, 1912, by Peter Finley Dunne.)

Copyright, 1872 BY Peter Finley Dunne.)
"Hooroo! they're off," said Mr.. Dooley.
9TH dimmycrat Love Feast has started.
1 was afraid yesterdah that twas goin' to
disgrace tn TRADITIONS iv our Grand Old
battle-scarred organization. I thought me
cousin Tim, who whit down as a dillygase
an at this prisint minyit is sleepin On
a thrapeze in a Baltimore, hotel-would be
disappointed.
ME cousin Tim Graves excitement, an
whtn he whit away I told him he might
as well look fr throuble in tn American
Florists Assocyation. 'Nawthing can hap
pen,' said l. TIL republican party is
rooned, an all that remains f'r us to do
is to get together an sing says 1. 'Ye
won't like It, / says.
'sBut / was wrong. I done a great in
Justice to tn fine fellows This is goin'
to be a rale convintion, none Nv yer
Pleasant weather we're havin' gather
ms, but wan " t1iim ginooine lave me
at him. assimblages, that has kept tn
dimmycratic party goin' as an amuse-
ment Enterprise f'r more years thin I
can count. 1t all changed in minyit.
Firm far an near tn bould frinds Nv free
dom gather to rejoice an celebrate. Joy
an confidence was in the air.
Trouble Breaks Out.
They assimbled in BALTIMORE to give
hands an dance around tn PROSTATE
form iv their ancient inimy, ,whin, 10
an behold! wan iv thin accidentally
stepped on tn foot iv tn statesmen
mex to thin an tn ring-around tn :
rosy broke up. Now it's all right.
can see me cousin Tim, this minnyit, in
TIL thick iv it debatin tn Missouri
Compromise with dillygate firm
Texas Bands ARE playin.' Flags an
cittyzens ar-re flynn in ivry sthreet.
An through tn thransoms In tn room
where tn naytional cfmtty Is meetin
In solemn conclave tn chairman has
lust been heerd to e-mark, Take
ye'er hand firm ye'er hip pocket, Judge,
while addhressin' tn chair. I've got
We covered
''It happened this way. Willum Jen-
nings Bryan got job to report IN con con
vention. He's a spry repoorther Is Will
lum Jennings. gets around where things
are happenin' an jots thin down in a
pleasin way. l r-read all he wrote last
week an his sharp eye detitcted NANNY
things that only a thrained obsurvver cud
see Wan iv his articles .comminced: IT
Is ESTIMATED that fifteen thousan people
were in tn colysum, nanny Nv thin bein'
ladies. or presumably so. Tn dillygates
numbered about thousand noted that
to ordher he sthruck tn table with a
small wooden mallet. which In party
minthry language is called a gavel.
Hogan liked it, too. He says If he liver
wants to get a lithry artist to compose
catalogue Nv hardware store he'll hire
Bryan.
Fight Over Craftsmanship.
Anyhow this dashin' young Journalist
| n M int IN Po1f
more an he hadn't been in town five
minyits befure tn brick yards had to an
nounce that they cud fill no more ordhers.
What started tn fight? Twas just the
same as at the republican convintion.
Twas about tn timpry chairman. Ye see,
Willum Jennings Bryan says there's a
man in New York with fine old Irish
name who provides timpry chairmep FIR
all convhtions " ivry party. Willum
Jennings says he supplied tn very fine
lookin' timpry chairman fr tn repub-
lican convtntion. He's in tn business on
q big scale. If We want q, timpry or per-
manent chairman fr ye'er convintion, re-
publican, dimmycrat, prohibitionist. or
men supplied on short notice fr amy
pollytickal or social gatherin'. Frock
coats go with each ordher. A large stock
in Nv speakers in legislachures always
on nand. Our pat FORM depart
ment makes a specylty Nv tn cillybrated
adjustable platform with patent remova-
BILE planks. Skilled mechanics will be stint
to convintions to ssimble these to suit tn
taste. No trouble to show goods.
That's what Willum Jennings Bryan
thinks Nv tn situation. So whin he gets
to BALTIMORE who does he find has been
shipped down firm New York but Alton
B. Parker. Ye don't reminder him? Oh,
yes. we do. Ye must He's quite a we'll
known New York lawyer. TIL fact he's
unknown in pollyticks shudden't count
again him. He's a fine man. But Willum
Jennings Bryan wuddent have him. AS
he lept firm tn train he put his pencil
an pad Nv pa-aper in his pocket give a
cry iv: 'Ye shall not press down upon me
brow this tool Nv corprate greed. If
have me say. an I'm goin' to have 1t. no
chair can be timpry enough FIR this per-
son. He'll be lucky If he sets on the
fiure' An thin tn throuble started an
it's still on as l go to press.
Mr.. Ryan's Arguments.
NANNY high-minded dimmycrats thried
to stop him firm maxim q rumpus. Says
Misther Ryan: What objections can We
have to tn chairman? Amt that q good
lookin' coat? Turn around, Judge, an let
him sea tn At, IudRa Baldwin th. Coy, ,