El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-11-28
Things That Puzzle Us
How Does the other Half Live:
II we Could Only Find
Out-Ouch!

Of US is that ancient one one. Hat Al:
- of the world does not know how
the other balf livesr'
How does the other half uve2
SUppOsing one half knew how it's
other half lived. Sufferin' Reno. think
OF the cross Hbels that would be filed,
Yet we would like 10 know how
that other half lives, not only our own
general.
Jinks is sporting an auto. How does
he do it?
We wonder and worry about that.
Perhaps the butcher ana baker know
how he does ito their sOrrow-but
everyone else wants to know.
Mrs Ena Mallface looks as young
and svelte as she did % years ago
How does she do it2 We wish we
knew, don't we
Well, shame on US for rubberersl
Sometimes, at musical comedy. we
just sit and wonder how on earth
those girls got into those costumes. We
men folks simply can't see how they
do it. We wish we could. We women
folks don't care about seeing how they
do it, but we do wish we knew how
Mr.. Pious Is such a solemn. long
faced guy, and passes the contribution
plate every sunday and wears nice
clothes and shiny lids. and lives in
such a nice house and always goes into
the city every day. We wish we knew
where he gets his money. what his
business is, how much he has got and
all that.
We suspect he may keep a gambling
place IN the city, or a horrible liquor
saloon, or something like that
And wouldn't we be sore if we did
know, and learned he merely was a
wholesale dealer in churns or hemp
rope or baking powder,
The BebOrns always close the blinds
in their dining room We are puzzled
to know what they have for dinner
They 90 to church regularly. but per
haps they serve liquor at their home
meals
And remember how we heard Mrs.
Blink scream the other night, and Mr.
Blink's voice rose loud and deep. Well
just bet they were having a regular
cat and dog knOckdOWn and dragOut
fight of it. Oh, dear, we 90 wish we
knew how they managed to live to-
gether.
And wouldn't we be disguised If we
really knew, and thus learned that
Mrs Blink saw a mouse and leaped m
to a chair and Blink struck at IT with
the poker and hit his sore toe and so
cursed horribly, and that the B1nks
never qUarreled and loved each other
dearly2
Yes, indeed, it would disappoint most
of US terribly to know that, as it would
put an end to our gossip about now
terribly the Blinks fight.
How does the other half live?
How do all the Joneses manage to
live in that little bungalOw-there'
eight Of them and only two sleeping
Who hooks the old maids dresses up
the back?
How is it so many Of these terribly
hOmely women are just covered with
diamonds
Is that handsome man who calls so
frequently at the Gazumps a relative
of theirs or only a bill collector
How on earth does Mrs Gaddabout
manage 10 be all dOlled up and on the
street every morning. and vet do her
work. when she doesn't keep maid
We've always been puzzled to know
why the SWiftleighs can never keep
maid more than a week
How on earth do so many people
manage to keep an autO2
And. for the love of Midas, where old
all these wealthy folks get their
money!
Is the bold lion tanner really afraid
of his little wife2
Did our minister actually 80 to a
moving picture shOWe
Are those real diamonds Mrs Der
bluffe wears2
Was that Mr. Harry's wife he was
with down IN Chinatown the other day!
If it wasn't. he should worry.
Yes, indeed, We do wish We could
learn how the other hslf-but hold on,
wait a minute.
In that case, everyone else would
know oil about US. wouldn't they?
Er-Weu. let's let il go as It IS
Copyright. 1912. by the star CO.
Great Britain Rights Reserved