Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-04-19
GOING TO
THEATERS

"T have nothing to say about it.
Nothing at all-not a word" emphat-
ically declared Marjory.
Whatever do you mean?" question
ed Mildred. Everybody is raving
about it. This mornings paper stated
it is the best drama produced in
years. I fully expected to hear you
rant about it."
THAT might all be true, but l re-
iterate that l have nothing-no COM
ments to make on last nights master
piece"
"Marjory, you are exasperating.
Speak! Explain! Never before have |
heard you claim that you had nothing
to say, be the subject what it may"
How can l criticise production
that | have never seem" innocently
inquired Marjory.
do you mean to say you didn't go
to theater last night with Bob, after
all your wild anticipations and prepar-
atom" demanded Mildred
Il went to theater with Bob last
night, but | didn't see the play,
calmly vouchsafed Mariorv.
Kindly give me the answer to this
riddle. You seem 10 enjoy PROFOUND
irg conundrums."
Il didn't intend telling anybody
about this affair" began Marjory. Il
think Bob is sensitive about it, and
know my feelings on the subject. But
you have way about you of making
people tell things they have firmly
made up their minds to keep dark
secret-so here goes.
"On arriving at the theater, he
reached in his full dress coat pocket
for the tickets, turned pale and eX-
claimed: Heavens! left them in my
business suit He rushed to the
ticket office Not a seat to be had in
the house Even the scalpers had
nothing
"'Marjory said Bob, I'll take you
to the ladies' parlor You wait there.
I'll jump in machine, ride home, get
the tickets and return before you
know I'm gone. I'm beastly sorry that
was such an idiot as to forget those
card boards You won't mind, little
girl will your
so | retired to the waiting room
and waited. Never was an apartment
better named. Ladies came in and
ladies went out Still | waited. Be
tween each act fused with my hair
and powdered by nose so the ladies
would not be suspicious of my lengthy
stay. One congenial woman with her
mouth full of hairpins turned to me
and said Isn't this play divine?' And
rolling my eyes upward, | truthfully
answered, Simply unheard Of
Near the close of the third act Bob
appeared. Poor boy, felt sorry for
him.
Had deuce Of time he gasp
ed, all out of breath. I gave the
chauffeur orders to beat it" on the
way home. Got held up for speeding.
Had all kinds of trouble to straighten
it out Guess my family thinks I'm
crazy, the way ] rushed in and rushed
out. Such a miserable evening for
you Marjory. I'm mighty sorry. 1t is
too late to go in and see the finish,
isn't it.?
Most certainly it is I agreed.
"Then Bob said, Well, let's go and
have a good superb regular blow.
out-and see if we can forget my
asininity'
"The lights, the music, the gay sur.
roundings and the delicious repast put
us in good spirits and by the time the
finger bowls were served we were
quite exhilarated.
CAS- was buttoning my sixteen-inch
white glove, imagine my dismay upon
seeing Bob turn ghastly white for the
second time that evening, and hoarse
ly and pathetically gasp, 'Marjory, /
left my money in my other suit
He was complete stranger in that
restaurant. He didn't know any of the
guests, either. He couldn't pay the
bill, He couldn't tip the waiter. Think
of our chagrin.
Finally spied a Mr. Worthington,
whom ] knew in prehistoric times. We
waited until he passed by our table.
Then explained to him orr humiliat-
ing predicament Of course, he gladly
loaned Bob the necessary sum. But
the embarrassment! Most awful"
"You poor, poor child" laughed Mil
dred, Such an evening! 1t certainly
was exciting But, l wager, Bob and
you with your sense of humor will
have as much sport talking about it as
if you had had a normal evening"
Maybe We will" said Marjory "Any
way, we are really going to see the
play tonight. That is, If Bob doesn't
forget his tickets"