The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
HOBSON'S LETTER
TO THE EDITOR
CONTINUED From Page Sikh


roars and rolls with laughter at the
whole screaming farce. Try that car
toon, Blackmon. Name it "A String of
Laughs" and you'll wake and find your
self famous.
The Biggest Laugh
But no doubht the biggest laugh that
bursts from Hugh is over the fact that
these editorial opponents of Captain Hob
son should seize on such ludicrous sham
when they had thousands of bigger and
better ones. In fact, barrels OF 'em-and
hopin for train loads more as soon as
they can fool certain railroad officials
sufficiently. My italics, Mr.. Editor.
Humor is simply a quaint turn OF
thought and that is where Hugh beats Bill
Vines all hollow. Bills humor Is sorter
broad-ax like. Hugh's Is that subtle and
elusive sort. Really. when 1t comes to
humor, Hugh is as slick as an eel in an
oil bucket. In proof whereof look how
he tries to leave the quaint inference that
there is no difference in Alabama between
progressive democrat and a standpat-
ter, a certain DR.. Wilson, to the con-
trary, notwithstanding.
But, quaint as that is, here is a still
quainter turn, namely, where Conner,
when approached by Hobson actually in
dignated and went to retortin'. Now, of
course, Conner didn't "spring a leak" He
didn't tell that to Hugh or to anybody
else that could possibly tell 1t to Hugh.
because Conner is a gentleman and, be-
sides, Captain Hobson has always been
one of his strongest supporters and per-
sonal friends, and Hugh knows that the
man who would betray the confidence of
a friend unworthy of the confidence OF
the people. No. of course, Conner didn't
tell Hugh. or anybody else that would
te.t.~
supereminent trait No. of psychological
divination, so to speak, and being such
an adnrer of Captain Hobson, he had
no difficulty in establishing telepathic
communication Though thousand miles
away. So, away Hugh telepathed to
Hobson and back Hobson telepathed the
whole thing to Hugh.
Orman in Foreground
But even this humorous masterpiece
won't compare with Hugh's climateric
projection of Ormond into the foreground
with a blue crouch and sore toe because
Hobson had suggested Seed for Congress
and to keep from splitting up the progress
sive forces Now, gentle reader, prepare
your mind for the appetite tiptop Of all
humor. OF course. 1t is evident to you
that, as to all the rest of Hugh's deli
cious humor, Captain Hobson should only
feel grateful and exclaim with Shakes
perian gusto: 1--WE are advertised by our
loving friends" But this Ormond projec-
ton might cause an obtuse mind, off it's
guard, to also recall the famous plain.
of another bard:
perhaps it was best to dissemble your
But why did you kick me downstairs
But bless your soul Hugh amt tryin
to hurt Hobson. He loves him too well
for that. He's just having his fun He
knows things will adjust themselves
all right. So he just rang in Ormond.
ANYHOW. True, Hugh intlmates Ormond
was hurt, or rather that he (Ormond)
wouldn't Believe Hobson would do such
terrible thing suggest to Seed 70
run while he, Ormond, was Tentative
candidate for the congressional berth Of
the Sixth.
OF course. We can't assume that Hob
son knew Ormond was a tentative can
didate. But Hugh ntimates Hobson did.
(Oh, you humorist, HughD Most of Hob
sons friends didn't know it. 4 certainly
didn't until Ormond's altogether untenta-
tive announcement few weeks ago.
imagine Captain Hobson, like myself,
didn't remotely suspect any serious
formed design on Ormond's part to run
for Congress. particularly as Hugh saws
IL was some time ago. IN otHtr Worus'
when Ormond had just begun to warm
good the six years seat of district So
1icitor. a position to elect Ormond, to
which Captain Hobson's friends had fair
~ fallen over themselves. All, how we
rallied the Hobson clans for Ormond:
how we secured the country for him; how
we worked from pillar to post, and how
we went to the polls in droyes to vote
for him-not that we deemed him neces-
sarly superior to the gentlemen who OPP
posed him. but simply because we were
told he had been Captain Hobsons friend.
But, even IL Hobson knew Ormon1 was
tentative candidate. he didn't doubt for
a moment that IL Ormond was the true
progressive democrat Hobson deemed
him. he would certainly be willing to re-
main solicitor and forego Congress for
awhile-in other words. subordinate per-
sonal ambition for the time being-if. bv
so doing. he might save any sort of split
in the ranks of progressive democracy.
Loves Ormond Like Brother
Oh, you merry wag, Hugh. to insinuate
Hobson was ungrateful to Ormund, Why.
Robson loves Ormond like a brother. and
has always done 30. His love for hinl