davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18

good month during November and has
; had many weddings that he hasn't been
able to attend to, his lathing and plast-
ering business, but If those having any
of this to be done will be patient, he
will get around to 1t in time.
Mrs. Hank Tumms has borrowed so
much from Hold Peters wife that Hold
and his family have to go over to
Hanks to eat nowadays. Hold says
Hanks wife had got everything but
their cook stove n two plates that are
cracked Il amt much good.
It would be pretty hard to get IL
movin' pitcher Of a checker game down
to the grocery store: Uncle Ezra Pc
ters has only moved once i'm the last
six weeks. Him and Hold Purdy start
ed "A game last September. and hope to
get through with it in time to do their
spring planting.
William Hilliker. our popular gro
%cerynan, also lime and land plaster, is
thinking of making some improvements
abou his store on Main street. Among
other things, he will give the Goldfish
h u has stood out in front ofthe store
so many years u new coat of white
paint.
Miss Pansy Tibbitts. our charming
musical cache Of voice. gave II pu-
pills recital at the opry house last
Wednesday evening and there were so
many numbers on the ogra and tho
parents applauded so much that the
program lasted until 4 O'clock next
morning. Uncle Ezra Purdy says he
amt heard SO much hollerin in this
town since Cleveland was elected the
fust time.
There is a splendid vaudeville pro-
gram at the Elite moving picture the
alter this week. including the Onion
brothers In feats of strength. Miss Bir-
die Jones with musical glass and alu-
minum chimes. Professor Dexter mes
merist, magician and taxidermist, and
the Passe Sisters, eccentric dancers and
ed criticism this week. but suffice il
to say it is one of the best oprys that
has been here since East Lynne"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18
Getting Acquainted at College.

Rend0lp 3. Bourne. IN the Atlantic.
One of the most valuable opportunities
of college life il the nance to get acc
Quainted. not politely and d%istantly, but
Intimately, with all types Of men and
minds from all parts Of the country md all
classes Of society. 30 that one may learn
what the young men Of the generation are
really thinking and hoping. knowledge OF
mon Il IN Indispensable feature Of . real
education, not . knowledge Of their weak
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18
HE

Hank was up-to-date, you betcher
Took advice from old Hold Fletcher
Chawed his vittels good and plenty
Fifteen chaws or maybe twenty.
Chawed his soup and chawed his water
Cause Hold Fletcher said he'd gotter.
Took two hours to eat his dinner;
Was a ~mastication winner.
Soon he saw his jaw was growing
As the vittels ne was slowing
1t was not at all surprising
But was due to exercising.
And 1T did not cause elation
But increasing CONSERVATION
AS he sacrificed his beauty
To the stern demands of duty.
Suddenly an inspiration
Found for him a reputation
And this champion vittel bitter
Blossomed out as a prize fighter.
Every fistic title bearer
Saw his jaw n fled in terror,
On the stage he went then, winning
Wealth and fame just by his Inning.
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.
Convince a man against his will and
q lot of heirs are liable to be left OF In
the cold.
A large capacity for ticker means a
small capacity fer anything else, per-
ticklerly business.
II a man would live up to his obit-
uary poetry, this world would be a sa-
luxurious world in which to reside.
Miss Amy Pringle, our milliner, had
a party at her house the other eve
ming. The party was a travelin'
drummer from down to the city.
The fellers that are tending furnaces
now are getting all their punishment
here on earth and probably will not
have to take 1t in the future.
Every time a man goes wrong it is
laid to some woman. but when q wom-
an goes wrong, 1t is all her own fault.
Funny world.
Grandpop Bibbins, of our village. says
he is goin' to vote fer Bryan agin'
to break some of these old fellers Of a
habit.
During the fine weather the hair on
Miss Amy Pringle's beaver hat has
growed about an inch and she will soon
have to use q brush and comb on 1t.
Mr.. Amos Briggs 10 threatening to
give a vocal concert at the Town hall
next Sunday and the Sunday excur-
sion down to the city will probably
be pretty we'll ~patronixed.
Hold Peters got only n Christmas
broke It on his way home and It all
spilled out. A hip pocket IL no place
TO carry q Christmas present. anyhow.
Uncle Ezra Harkins a been visit
ing his nephews down to the city, but
has come home Disguised. He says
they have breakfast In bed and he
lever could eat layin' down and get
any s~atlsfaction out'n 1t.
Miss Pansy Tibbits has got IN en-
gagement rfne from her Teller and
the diamond In Il don't look any bigger
than q nickel'a worth q fadlum. It's q
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18
Copyright. 1911, by North American
Nur6ioafa

CORNER STORE
GOSSIP.
i, seems ike the
gossips is all
ways ASSAM the
whole dol-dum
country is goin'
to smash.
1t seems like there
always is suthin'
the matter. We're
always expectin'
there will be a
crash.
no1.ar LIN nit
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18
Supply and Demand.

From the Baltimore American.
Thu Wife-Big checks for dresses viii
not be In demand this season.
The Husband-Thank heaven!
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18
{aAN E
SlF.THE.M2wENT
W. By ROY K. MOUl.TON.

genuine solitaire. though. and those SOL
lta!leS are the best kind of diamonds,
so they say.
Hold Peters says the horse is mans
best friend. but Hank Tunms says
Hoo is Il liar AS the COW Is mans best
friend. Hank had a COW that he has
sold to the string butcher nine times
and 1T has run away and come nome
every time.
Bud Hicks has just written a felici-
tous letter to his rich old uncle down
in Massachusetts. Bud writes one
every Year just before his birthday.
Last year he got a pair of suspenders.
but Bud is contented as he says a
Teller never knows when he is goin'
to need d pair of suspenders III need
'em bad.
There is one satisfaction i'm Twin in
n country. and that is there is no
front sidewalk to shovel. All Il Teller
has to do in the morning. is to shovel
a path Il half a mile long from the
itchen door to the barn. from there
abou 50 rods to the corn crib and
then about four block around to the
pig pen. BY h time he gets that
done. If it's snowin' IL he a to turn
around and shove his way back over
the same route to the kitchen door.
THE TURKEY CALENDAR.
On Monday we reveled in our Christmas
turkey;
Twas warm and twas brown and
h trimmings We're great:
There surely was class to the fine oyster
dressing.
And -four times. hand running, we
passed back our plate.
On Tuesday again the cook fed us on
turkey:
She served it up cold and the folks
went to it.
Although The bird tasted strangely fla
miliar,
There wasn't a doubt that it still
l.iade q hit.
On Wednesday, the turkey was still on
he menu.
That bird represented a whole lot Of
cash,
And mother informed us that none
hollld be wasted.
We lived all hat day on good turkey
hash.
We thought that on Thursday our
friend would be missing;
But mothers a person who never for
gets
The high cost of living. and that's how
it happened
On Thursday we dined on turkey cro-
quettes.
On Friday we looked for a change on
the order;
We thought that our turkey had seen
it's last day.
But fine turkey soup was the piece de
resistance;
We've had enough turkey. oh, take
it away.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18

Morally speaking. the person usually q.
the one lower down.-Wa shington ~:
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18

It 10 hard to say who IL the more ra.Av
to admit hts mistakes. Mr.. Taft or ~
Chinese emperor.-New York EVENING
Post.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18
pIPPEp FRoM rHE srREAM

DIPPED FROM THE STREAM.
The president is only 81 years of age,
but sometimes he cuts up like sixty.
DR.. Wiley says q man can live for
a month on a bushel Of wheat. Yes. a
millionaire can.
One could almost believe that the
English suffragets are in cahoots with
the plate glass insurance companies.
General Funston has been sent to
China. Perhaps the government wants
somebody in China who will be in the
swim.
L might be sufficient punishment to
sentence those indicted beef trust
magnateS to eat some of their round
steak.
A Pittsburgh woman has shot a
Pullman car porter, which seems to be
carrying the anti-tipping crusades to
extremes.
Arnold Bennett. who proposes to
write the truth about Chicago, must
expect to live to a ripe old age to COM
plete the job.
Chicago for the robbery and there are a
lot OF other Chicago gentlemen in the
same business.
, Chicago IL to ave a monkey hos
pital. II all the monkeys in Chicago
go there for treatment it will do a
capacity business.
La Toilette says he would rather be
right than president. but some OF the
standpatters do not believe that he
will eve be either.
Senator Kern says Mr.. Bryan is the
greatest American. Mr.. kern's mod
esty II pleasing and quite unusual for
q member Of the Senate.
OF course. a third power will be glad
to interfere between Turkey and Italy
II h third power can have all of the
territory under dispute.
China has a newspaper which IL l.
900 years old. but doubtless there are
Q lot Of people who know how to u
It better than the editor does.
Two Now York physicians are In a
great dispute as to which side q GER
tain patients appendix 10 on. It seems
~ though anybody would know TIT
Ut 10 on the inside.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18
THESE MUST MAKE ANANIAs
JEALOUS.

Honest, Grace, 1 never use a thing
for my complexion. 1t is just NATURAL
Mag. you are the only woman i
ever loved"
Il will be ready in five minutes,
Henry. Don't be inpatient
My daughter has had three offers
from opera companies, but she prefers
to stay right here at home and help her
mother with the housework.'
"Oh. yes. Taft has offered me one or
two places. but ] don't care to get
mixed up in politics.
Trying to tie an old necktie SO that
the grease spots won show.
II have enjoyed my visit here very
much and 1 shall remember it always
1 think O have the finest town in the
country and I'm just dying to locate
here"
II can cmoke or not. just as 1 please.
No effort at all"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18
AS SHE Is sPoKE.

Inc WaltreSS IN the country hotel
gracefully poked her blond pompadour
in place, set a glass of water down in
front of the guest and remarked casu-
ally and indifferently as t0ought it
didn't really matter whether she an
nounced it or not.
have roastbeefand browngravy,
curant cream custard chocolate run
raisin Observation-Disclosures
berry pork chops, porkandbeans,
cornedbeef n cabbage, Newengland-
boileddinner, boiled mashed shoestring
potatoes. combination saladand cold
slaw. Whatcherhave?"
IN take all of that and a piece OF
pie?"
What kind? Observation-Disclosures
curantcreamcustard acknowledgements
rafsinpcachlemon huuckleberryblack-
"Mince.'
"All right. Observation-Disclosures
Observation-Disclosures kindyouwouldnot
havegotit. Gee, beliaveme, thisisapunk
hotel. 1 observation-disclosures. No
indeed. Observation-Disclosures VinceatSagi-
nawonce. EverbeentoSaginaw? Lovely
towaitinit? M-m-m-m! HowIdolove
Saginaw. AfntIseenyouthere? Iusedto
Observation-Disclosures. Some
classtomethen. Let's see. Wlatkindof
piedidyouwant?"
-
RECOLLECTIONS.
Backward, turn backward,
o Time, in thy flight.
Make me a boy again,
Just for a night.
Give me n slice of
The BURBERRY pie
Ny mother once made, to
Enjoy ere I die.
Please knock off three decades
And give me one chance,
To strut ono more in my
First pair of long pants.
Just let me play hockey
And stay out of school,
And plunge once again in
The old swimmin' pool.
Please loosen a moment
Your lettering chain
And let me enjoy my
First circus again.
Just let me go back to
A JOY that's immense;
To that old knothole in
The centerield fence.
But fathers old trunk strap,
care nought about:
And If you don't mind. you
Can just leave that u
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18
THE GREATEST WOMEN

OIlCic tAIuy NdTic6lo ana ScVGrGl
Others have taken a she at naming the
20 greatest Several lists have
been made. but none of them suits US.
Following are our entries in the con-
test:
Eve.
Mrs. Noah.
Cleopatra.
Caesars wife.
Madam Butterfly.
Mrs. Wigs Of the Cabbage Patch.
Madam Yale.
Lydia Pinkham.
Madam x.
Beatrice Fairfax.
Salvation Nell.
Sarah Camp.
Mrs. Harris.
Annie Oakley.
The who went over Niagara
falls in a barrel.
Psyche.
Belva Lockwood.
Venus De Milo.
Mona Lisa.
The woman who made the first pump,
kin pie.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18
LITTLE TOUCHES OF HUMAN
NAI,I1RE

Putting on your heavy winter over
coat for the first time and finding in
the pocket an important letter that
your wife gave you to mail last Feb
ruary.
Going to a dinner party and sizing
up all of the helping of chicken to see
if u is as large as my of the 9TH
ers.
Opening all of the other mail before
you tackle h letters with the ISM
glass front which always contains the
bills.
when somebody remarks that you
must be getting $3.50 a week in salary.
Condemning the automobiles IL you
don't happen to own one.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18

the right turn on the tariff. The cu:-
rency system is always dead wrong.
some nation and simply awaitin' the
tap of the gong.
They're always a-sayin' that crops is a
failure. and that we'll all end at the
county poor farm.
There's tophet to pay everywhere and
talk wanders and somehow life
don't seem to bear any charm.
Hold Purdy says Well be a nation of
paupers. The rich folks have got
us, there's no doubt of it.
And every time there is a Vanderbilt
weddin' wrote up in the papers, old
How throws a fit.
Hank Tubbs says the trusts is the par
amount evil. 1 guess he read that
word somewhere in a speech.
He says he can't manage to lay up Il
nickel and n one who kin git rich
is a peach.
Old Uncle Eb Peters says he'll ding
swiZZled il he knows what this
country is comm to.
We're goin' to git s~hipwrecked. that
much is dead sartin. Well see be-
fore long his prediction is true.
You'd think. if you'd heal 'em. there's
no JOY in livin'. They're blamed pes
simistic down there at the store.
Them seem to agree that the milleni-
um's comm. and that the sun amt
goin' to shine any more.
It's been that way ever since I can re-
member. Each winter it's just a
bit worse wuss than the last.
1t seems like there amt nothin' left
to demolish; they've smashed up this
country so oft in the past.
This year it's a caution. Our end is
approaching. That there's no escape
every one will allow.
But still. I opine, if we keep OF atryin'
We're goin' to n to git on
somehow.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18

Hank was up-to-date. you betcher
Chawed his vittels good and plenty
Fifteen chaws Oh maybe twenty.
Chawed his soup and chawed his water
Cause Hold Fletcher said he'd gotter.
Took two hours to eat his dinner;
Was q ~,nastication winner,
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-18
Stallion.

At an auction here the Clydesdale
stallion. Baron OF Buchlyvie. was soli
for $4,000, the largest price ever re.
ceived for a draft horse. and, for 8
horse In his 18th year, the sum ha.
few precedents wen among thorough.
breds. The best previous price eve,
received for a Clydesdale was SIS, 900
paid some 20 years ago for the 2-year.
old colt. Prince of Albion.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-10-10

year and 20o,979,000 bushels harvested
in 1910. Quality, S8.7 por cent OF q
normal compared with a ten year aver
age of s6.S per cent.
All wheat: Indicated yield per acre,
100 bushels, compared with 1875 bushs
els last year and 14.6 bushels. the av-
erage yield 190e-10. On the planted
area, 44,s45,000 acres, It is preliminarily
estimated the total Anal production will
be 720.433.O00 bushels. compared with
621, 1885, 900 bushels harvested last year
and 635,121,000 bushels harvested in
1910.
Oats: Indicated yield per acre. s7.4
bushels, compared with 24.4 bushels
last year. and 28.4 bushels, the average
yield, 1906-10. On the planted area,
37,s44,000 acres, 1t Is 5preliminarily es-
timated the total final production will
be 1,417,172,000 bushels, compared with
922,29s, 900 bushels harvested last year
and l,1s6,341.000 bushels harvested in
1910. Quality. 91.0 per cent Of a normal.
compared with ten year average Of
s6.7 per cent.
Potatoes: Condition, 85.1 per cent OF
a normal, compared with 1872 per cent
on September /, 1919; 62.3 per cent In
October last year and 762 per cent, the
ten year average for October. Indicat-
ed yield per acre, 1888 bushels. On the
planted area, 3,6s9,o00 acres, 1t is esti-
mated, from condition reports, the
total final prodnctionSw will be 401. .0o0. 900.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-10-10
ut / posttivly was not willing to make

but posttivly was not willing to make
up any shortages, due to the failure
Of others to pay their subscriptions, or
to personally become responsible for
them, az I had already assumed pay
ment OF all that was willing to take
care Of amounting to some $4,000 In
cash, which, with the ground and other
considerations, would have made my
investment fully $4,000, which in fact
is more, under all the circumstances
than l should invest In the project and
much more than INTENDED to at the
outset.
There was and Is no desire on my
part to avoid carrying out my pro-
position In good faith, but on account
Of the dilatory and adverse actions Of
others It was impossible to get mat
ters in shape to accept Montrose g.
McIIugh's proposition by October 10,
and as was both discouraged and
very tired saw no other course open,
as It seemed absolutely useless to ex-
pect additional subscriptions to be
made at this time in order to take
care OF any possible shortage. Per
haps my action will meet with general
favor. w. R. Daum. !"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-10-10

washington, Oct. 9.-With the gath
erinr Of the harvests Of the country,
predicted earlier In the season to be
greater in most cases than ever grown
BY this or any other nation. the de-
partment of agriculture continued It's
preliminary estimates OF the productlon
of these drops in the October report OF
the crop reporting board. of Its bureau
OF statistics. !
Details Of the report, with compari-
sons for other years. follow: Condition
figures relate to October !. or at time
of harvest).
Corn: Condition. s2.2 per cent Of .
normal compared with S1.1 per cent on
September l, 1912: 70.4 per cent IN
October, 1911, and S0.4 per cent, the ten
year average In October. Indicated
Yield per acre, 27.9 bushels, compared
with 23.9 bushels in 1911 and 27.l bush
els, the 1905 10 year average yield. On
the planted area, 10S. ITO, 900 acres, 1t
is estimated, from condition reports.
that the total yield will be s,0le,ooo.-
900 bushels, compared with 2,531, 1885,
900 bushels harvested last year, and q
8S6 $3.50, 900 bushels harvested In 1910.
Spring wheat: Indicated yield per
acre, 17.2 bushels, compared with 9.4
bushels last year and 13.4 bushels, the
average Yield, 1S06-10.s On the planted
area, 1s,201, 900 acres, 1t is preliminar-
lily estimated the total ANAL production
will be 330,391,00o bushels, compared
with 1s0,6S2, ,000 bushels harvested last
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-10-10
Game Was a See-saw From
the Start, Boston Taking
Lead Early, Losing it and
Then Tying Up Score.
COLLINS DRIVEN TO
BENCH IN SEVENTH
Star Southpaw Succumbs to
s2 '2 s's,s s's's ], $ Giant Onslaught
and is Succeeded BY Hall;
10000 at the Game.

Fenway Park, Boston, Mass. Oct a
The Boston Americans and N.-
York Nationals battled for eleven N.
nlngs to tie score. to tndav
when the contest was called IN ~.
count OF darkness. The second eama
VIII be re-played on the Boston fieId
tomorrow. The contest was ercitin~
from the first to the last inning With
lead Of three runs handicap aenin.t
them the Giants bitterly contested stha
Red Sox all the way until thew finaIlv
caught them and passed them n m.
eighth inning. Boston rallied strongiv
and sent fifth run across tha Nat.
which tied the score. Collins had
pitched good game for the Rad so~
until the eighth inning when fha
Giants batted him from the mound.
The closing innings were intensely er.
citing.
Boston turned out more than 3f, .10O
strong today to see the American lea
que champions battle the New York
Giants IN the second game OF the
worlds series. The Boston team
marched on Fenway park field Ia :
triumphant welcome from nome
crowd. '-'
The bleachers ana unreserved sranU
stand crowds came early and long BE-
fore the game began all the best seats
were taken. n 4. b n
The sky became overcast an honr
or 20 before the game and II was :
good day for speedy pitching.
The Giants began to warm up On the
side lines while Mathewson and NV.
ers went far down the left iield line
where the New York boxman INDUCED
In light pitching practice. -
Umpire O'LOughiin took his position
behind the plate, Rigler on the bases.
KLEIN went to left field and Evana ~
right feld. II was announced that Z
hit into the left field stands vould
count 40 two base hit, while ritz
into other temporary stands would ~
|as home runs.
The night on the ticket line was ora
|of interest. It was too cold to sleen
and those In line could not wait 4
keep warm, lest they lose their pIaeeS.
Bon fires were lighted and few rafh.
cred about them and dosed. One MN
lost his false teeth while he slept and
was looking for them at daylight m.
other slept on his crutch and broke Il
and was forced TO hobble about on the
shortened staff. 4