The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1912-04-18

primary.
S. j. TANDE.
he met was his neighbor. Hazletan.
and he was greeted with:
Hello, boy; Whittier away? You
r stepping off like a colt this morn
ing
Didn't know it was my birthday.
did yOu?" was replied.
"S-o-o-o! I'll bet l can guess within
a year Of your age"
go ahead"
'"Thirty-n:ne."
Mr.. BowSer waved his hand and
laughed and passed on He felt that
he'd give $50 If Mrs. Bowser had heard
the guess. His exultation was short
lived. however. Before he reached the
corner he struck an icy spot and went
down with u kerplunk, and u police.
man fastened up to help him to his
feet and to pick up his hat and say:
"YOu shouldn't be out without rub.
bers on. old man. At your age the
bones break like pipestems."
You talk as it l were u hundred!'
grOwled Mr.. Bowser and making nc
thanks for the assistance rendered.
"Oh. no, but of course you will never
see seventy again. That's not so old.
but, falls are dangerous"
Mr.. Bowser passed on into the drug.
store to he hailed with:
Got Il Crouch Oh again this morn.
ing:"
mo. sir"
"Thought YOU had. hut l guess you
are simply feeling your age"
Don't you worry about my age. I'm
not two years older than you are"
well. I'm thirty-six. and if you
claim to BE- only thirty-eight you are
making a fool Of yourself. You'll new
er see sixty-tive again. Three doctors
were in here the other evening. and
none Of them put your age at less than
sixty-seven."
"Then they are three blamed fools
and you are, another. exclaimed Mr.
Bowser as he stepped out.
Tho Plumbers Estimate.
Three months before, when he had
paid a plumbers bill without kicking,
the plumber had spoken of him as
young man." He now entered the
shop in search Of consolation.
Purity icy this morning?" queried
the plumber.
Eyes"
SI l4n1A plnu,s hu x,inr 81 fo1l .
"Yes."
us old boys have got to go SLOW"
"l1ow old would you take me to be?'
was asked.
well, when the carpenter spoke OF
you as Old Bowser the other day l told
him doubted you were u day over
sixty-6ve."
"What If | should tell you ! was
only forty-tive:'
I'D say YOU had forgotten the year
you We're born!"
"Just as I'll forget you when l want
any more plumbing done"
There was the butcher. One day
when Mr.. R0wser had jumped over a
barrel lying on it's side to escape a
dog. rushing at him the butcher said
that A boy Of fifteen couldn't have done
better.
Not going to the office today, Bow
ser?" he. asked as the, caller entered.
mo. It's my birthday, and l thought
I'd celebrate a little"
That's right. Say, now, that makes
me think. Can you. remember back
seventy-tive years ago?"
"Sir, what do you mean?"
you must = have been a kid then.
but perhaps
Butcher, are you blind and a fool
to boot?"
but what is itW
DO i. look like a; man about eighty
years old? Z"
: "Why-why'-
""Speak out, sir"
"Why, then, you don't. I don't think
you look a day over seventy-three."
"Oh, you don't? Wel..I don't think
you can sem NE any more meat until
you get over your blindness"
The Last Straw. d
Mr.. Bowser started for home. He
meant to take, it out on Mrs. Bowser.
but be slipped and fell against the
fence. Then he slipped and fell against
a shade tree. Then he fell down kerr
whack at; his own, gate, and an old
woman helped him up and brushed the
snow from his back and said:
4 Poor old daddy! It's a shame you
have to be out In such weather as
this" g
When be i entered the house Mrs.
Bowseri was down in the kitchen. and
he ,crept upstairs and undressed and
went to. bed. She found him three
hours later. and he, vas fast asleep,
and there were tear stains on his
cheeks.
D10pdgins = Mustachs.
Ella-HOw can you remove hair from
the face! Stella-Turn your face
away.-Newi " ork Press. @