The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-03-07
How One, D. Chiascuro, Dis
covers the Difference Be-
tween q Lottery and a Raj
file in America.
BRIDGE WHIST AND
CRAPS ALSO DIFFER
Prof. Russell of Earlham COL
lege Writes Clever Satire
on a Peculiar Phase Of
American Life.
~ PROF. E.seRr RUSSELL.

This chronicle concerneth one Dio-
genes Chiascuro. AZ We Americans
mangle the pronunciation. but 1t be-
gins, AZ 10 proper. with the father of
the hero. One of Garibaldi's famous
thousand. during his victorious CAM
.paign Of 1860 in southern Italy. he re-
mained In Brundisi to work up there
the plobiscite by which the territory
Of the former kingdom Of the Two Sic.
iEes was Joined to the growing domin-
ion of Victor Emmanuel. After this was
accomplished. in the spirit Of Cincin-
natus. he settled down In Brundisi,
helping In humble way the new gov
ernment dredge out the harbor. that
harbor which in conjunction with the
6uez Canal was to be the means Of the
recovered commercial prosperity Of
southern Italy. While engaged in this
task. he fell in with a Greek patriot
who had escaped thither from the col
lapse Of a premature effort to launch
the revolution. which in 1869 unseated
the Bavarian occupant OF the throne
of Hellas. A. a natural consequence Of
this acquaintance. the Italian liberator
married the fair daughter Of the Greek
patriot. Thus is explained. as far as
explanations 60. not only the classic
features of our hero. his inquisitive
mind. and love Of liberty. but also his
AAme.-DioRenes Chiascura. Possibly
''Diogenes" was only reminiscent of
some maternal uncle or grandfather: :
but II may well be that the name was a
direct legacy from the undertaking an
Client Athenian who on dark days shin
ed his fellow t0wnsmen's eyes with
his historic lantern looking for an hon
~ man '3', II, WI. s Il.
Al ~ n. .caaIs q Asssslea.
The reader will now kindly skip the
pages OF the chronicle to the place
where tho records Of a new century
begin. There IL set down that Chias-
euro. confronted by growing scarcity
Of work and the rising price of maca-
Foni and polenta. listened to the mar
velous tales OF liberty and large wages
which former neighbors wrote back
from America. And to listen was to
be lost. 1t needed only the cunning pla-
cards and oily tongue Of steamship
-oompany's agent to complete the mis-
chief And thus 1t came about that.
after many adventures. Diogenes found
himself established as q fruit deal
sr in an American city, which
for the lack of name or location
rather from the true one. We shall call
"Rosemont" and locate in the Mississ-
ippi valley. Here he ministered assidu-
lOusly to the growing attachment OF the
American palate for the slippery bana.
ma and the juicy orange; not to men,
ttion the lemon and lived. after the
manner OF sunny Italy, in the back
room Of his store. BY this latter ar
Management he saved the time wasted
I'm going and coming by the uptown
tresident and the suburban commuter.
land devoted 1t to the study OF the clas-
Isles Of his ancestors and of the langl-
lage and ways Of his adopted country.
Most Of all he loved to pore over the
klife and speeches of Garibaldi, his
Fathers hero. and to spell out the
sdeeds and words Of Lincoln. Garibal.
dis great contemporary In the land Of
his adoption.
The Church Lottery.
In Italy the church ~ well as the
municipality often helped a sood cause
land at the same time gratiAed the peo-
pies love Of chance by raffles and lot.
teries. In it's native Italy the lottery
10 to the people what the policy-shop
hs to the immigrant in the new world
AS the family OF Chiascuro increased
land the children began to demand an
American standard and style Of living,
he found that the income from selling
fruit did not keep pace with the accel'
Grafton Of his expenditures. As he
wrestled one day with this universal
problem. he received from a kindly dis
posed former neighbor in Calabria an
announcement Of new lottery enter
prize. which offered to the susceptible
o chance to acquire merit and unearn.
ed riches together Diogenes shared
the information with his compatriots g
aud turned an honest penny by send
inG money for them and himself to buy
tickets.
The Fickle Goddess Of the business
eye OF the lottery managers. or both
favored these ventures Of Diogenes
and his friends. And II came to pass
by and bye that the postal inspector
noticed an unusual number Of foreign
letters. in the same kind Of envelopes
all postmarked "Brundisi." and feeling
suspici0usly ~ II they contained pa
per money. BY an easy induction from
previous experience. the inspector
reached the conclusion that the mails
were being used for the unla wful pur.
pose OF promoting a lottery After this
It will not surprise you. kind reader,
to learn that Diogenes received u NO.
tice to call at the post once: that he
was there confronted by a particularly
fat envelope addressed to himself;
that the inspector explained to him the
severe penalty for sending lottery tick.
(Conticued on Page Ten.)