Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1912-10-08
husband do this for you this morn

husband do this Tor you this morn
lng?"
I-1 don't remember" Marjorie
stammered, and Mrs. Wellington
tossed over-shoulder an apothegm:
He's no husband till he's hook-bro.
KEN"
Just then Mrs. Fosdick came out Of
her stateroom. Seeing Mrs. Whit.
combs waist agape, she went at II
with q brief. Good morning. every.
body. Permit me-"
Mrs. Wellington twisted her head to
say "Good morning" and to ask, Are
you hooked, Mrs. Fosdick?"
mot yet" pouted Mrs. Fosdick.
'Turn round and back up" said
Mrs. Wellington. After some maneu.
vering. the women formed complete
circle, and fingers piled hooks and
eyes in veritable Ladies' Mutual Aid
Society.
BY now, Wedgewood was ready to
appear in bathrobe about as gaudy
as the royal standard of Great Brit.
ain. He stalked down the aisle, and
answered the male chorus's CHEEKY
"Good morning" with ramlike
"Baw."
Ira Lathrop felt amiable even to
ward the foreigner, and he observed:
GLORIOUS morning this morning."
II dare say" growled Wedgewood
IT don't 60 in much for mawnings-
especially when have no tub"
fo1t -
squelch him: you Englishmen never
had q real tub till we Americans sold
'em to you"
Il dare say" said Wedgewood In
differently. You sell 'em. We use
EN-. But, do you know, I've just
thought out a ripping idea. shall
have my cold bath this mawning after
ALL"
what are you going to dor"
growied Lathrop. Crawl in the ice
water tank?'
"Oh. dear, no. shouldn't be let"
and he produced from his pocket .
rubber hose. Il simply affix this lit.
tie tube to one end of the spigot and
wave the sprinklah hyah over my
sr-my person."
Lathrop stared at him pityin8ly. and
demanded: What happens to the wa
ter. them"
what do care7" said Wedge
wood.
"You burned fool. you'd flood the
car"
Wedgewood's high hopes withered.
II hadn't thought of that" he sighed.
II suppose I must continue just as /
am till 1 reach San Francisco. The
first thing shall order tonight will
be four cold tubs and lemon
squash"
While the men continued to make
themselves presentable in huddle,
the hook-and-eye society at the other
end of the car finished with the four
waists, and Mrs. Fosdick hurried
away to KEEP her tryst in the dining.
car. The three remaining relapsed
into dreary attitudes. Mrs. yelling.
ton shook the knob Of the forbiddins
door, and turned to complaint: what
In heavens name ails the creature in
there. She must have fallen out OF
the window"
Its outrageous" said Marjorie.
"the way women violate women'a
rights"
Mrs. Whitcomb saw an opportunity
to insert q stiletto. She observed to
Marjorie, with an innocent air:
why. Mrs. Mallory. I've even known
women to lock themelves in there and
smoke!"
While Mrs. Wellington was rum
maging her brain for a fitting retort
the door opened, and out stepped Miss
Cattle. as was.
She blushed furiously at sight OF
the committee waiting to greet her.
but they repented their criticisms and
tried to make up for them by the ex'
cessive warmth with which they all
exclaimed at once: Good morning.
Mrs. Lathrop!"
Good morning, who?" said Anne,
then blushed yet redder: "Oh, can't
seem to get used to that name!
hope haven't kept you waiting?"
"Oh, not at ALI" the women insist.
ed, and Anne fed to number six, re.
membered that this was no longer
her home, and moved on to number
one. Here the porter was just finish.
ing his restoring tasks, and laying
aside with some diffidence two gar.
ments which Anne hastily stuffed into
her own valise.
in q
Mrs. Wellington ahead:
"You go in first, Mrs. Wellington u
"You 60 first. l have no husband
waiting for me-" said Mrs. yelling.
ton.
"Oh, insist" said Marjorie.
II couldn't think Of It," persisted
Mrs. Wellington. Il won't allow you. y
And then Mrs. Whltcomb pushed
them both aside: Pardon me. won't
you? I'm getting of at Reno"
80 am l." gasped Mrs. Yelling
ton, rushing forward, only to be faced
by the slam of the door and the click
Of the key. She whirled back to de-
mand Of Marjorie: Did you ever hear
of such impudence?"
Il never did"
I'll never be ready for Reno" Mrs.
Wellington walled. land haven't had
my breakfast"
You'd better order 1t in advance
said Marjorie. 1T takes that chef an
hour to boil an egg three minutes"
Il will, II I can ever get my face
washed" sighed Mrs. Wellington.
And now Mrs. Anne Lathrop. aftel
much hesitation. called timidly. "POr.