The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1912-09-27
a
Plain Man


Emily. why didn't you let me know,
SOS / could have come an held your
bokay? But you never was like 9TH
er folks"
Minerva Grigsby-born an Acklen,
married to Biggers and then to a
Crook, and only yesterday to jeremiah
| Grigsby, so that her friends said she
was determined to take a wedding
| journey through the alphabet-lifted
her crisp skirts from the inch thick
dust of the country road before she re-
piled.
"Twa'n't no earthly use, Emily. I
never was a hand to make a TODD over
marry'n'. It's just like anything else
-soon's you get in the habit 1t just
comes second nature. Besides there
want no bokay."
STILL" sighed Miss Emily, 81 always
like to stand by my friends in tryin'
moments. No flowers, you say?"
mot less you count the tuberose in
Mr.. Grigsby's buttonhole. But don't
let that mislead you into thinkin' he's
like the others. II you're goin' to get
acquainted with him today you might
as we'll know beforehand what to ex-
pect."
Dear mel" exclaimed Miss Emily.
Tell fie the worst"
There amt no worst, Emily; it's all
BEST" beamed the bride of two days.
Jeremiah amt no author like my
first, an he amt no artist like my
second. He's just a plain man. I'm
that glad when / think about 1t I'm
right giddy. Happiness at last says
I to myself, with just a nice, plain,
disagreeable mani"
Minerva Grigsby's triple plated mat
rimonial experience sat lightly on her,
10 Judge from the ampleness Of her
figure and the unworried smoothness
Of her brow. The cheerful philosophy
or philosophical cheerfulness that
looked out on the world from her
mild brown eyes proclaimed her I'M
shaken faith in mankind.
81 thought 'twould a. been real nice
70 married genius" ventured Miss
Emily.
"A genius is a prenuptial ornament
exclusive" announced the bride, en-
phatically. "He don't have no wearin'
qualities. There's Mr.. Biggers, as
was Away writin' literchoor, an
namin' himself Sidney Biggers the
third / asked him if the other two
was similar to him, an when he says
they was I told him thought there'd
been a-plenty Of that kind. No, Emily,
l amt been about bein' married to lit
erchoor."
AN Mr.. Grigsby is--different?"
Hes just as plain as this gold ring
he engaged me with. / left him this
mornin', Is longs he said the sun was
too hot to come to church, with the
potatoes to scrape an the corn TO
shuck an few other things to fix for
dinner. But / amt complainin' of the
other husbands. / always feel about
husbands same's / do about troubles,
take 'em az they come"
Il never knew much about Mr..
Crook. Painted for a Twin, didn't
he?"
81. Marcus. he was, partin' his name
in the middle same's he did his hair.
He painted, all right, but not for a
Twin. No, Emily, l have home an
good farm, an I've always supplied the
livip'. told ]. Marcus he better give
up paintiR' an take to somethin' else.
But he said IL wasn't his idea of a wife
to interfere with d husbands rights,
an he wished I'd stay Oh the pedestal
where he'd always placed woman.
My landr says. We amt got room
up there. Men are so conceited
they've scourged us clean off," But
here We are, most home"
Round the house the bride led the
expected the odor Of cooking food to
greet her nostrils. Miss Emily meek
ly followed in the walks of Miner
vas white muslin wedding dress as
she whisked it's skirts from side to side
with an air of assurance that she could
now show a man who knew how to be
husband instead Of genius.
But Minerals assurance was short
lived. AS they rounded the corner of
the house they caught sight Of the
Tank figure of the bridegroom stretched
full length under g tree near the kitch-
en- door. Under his head was one of
Minerva's freshly Numbered sofa
cushions. With his left hand he held
between his teeth a jewsharp, while
his lean right hand lazily twanged the
tongue Of the instrument with meas
ured strokes as the soothing strains
of Rest for the Weary" floated out
upon the air. Miperva's quick eye
chances through the window, where
unscraped potatoes and the unshucked
corn lay on the kitchen table just as
she had left them. With a sigh that
stirred her ample figure from center
to circumference she turned to Miss
Emily.
We'll, Of all the luck!" she said.
Now, here I've gone an married a
musician! Amt husbands the strangest
race Of people!"-Chicago Daily
News.
RAsAn$e IuIn.p. a..