davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
Lost Hats at the Executive Office

NOW we intend to make it an issue.
~ For some years we have openly
lamented that at the executive Office
of the president of the United States
there are no hat racks. The time is
at hand when the great issue must be
met. Congressman c. B. Slemp Of
Virginia, who is generally as punctil-
tous as an ordinary mortal can be, fin
tshed rapid-flre conference with the
president and came out to find his hat,
which he had left upon one of the
seats in the outer room Hastily
and then carefully he looked, but his
hat was not there. Someone had
changed hats. Now Congressman
Slemp's hat was of fairly normal size,
and all he could find was a little hat
that would cover only the rear end of
his head. And that was discovered
only after the process of elimination
had been applied and the little hat
was the only one left.
It is humiliating to think that the
statesmen Of the country should have
to roam about the executive Office
hunting for stray hats. OF course ev.
erybody joked Congressman Slemp,
but it was far from Joking matter
to walk down Executive and Pennsyl-
vania avenues to distant hat store.
1t did not comport with statesmanlike
dignity; to say nothing of the embar-
rassment of meeting on the way his
r011oa 01,oo and 0thnr friends who uon.
dered what could be wrong with the
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
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intrepid congressman from Virginia.
Furthermore it was at that season Of
the year when not only the feminine
mind, but the masculine mind also,
was focused on the subject of hats.
Under these conditions was Mr.. Slemp
obliged to run the gauntlet amid the
volley of none too sympathetic que
ries.
This may serve as notice to anyone
who has by mistake walked away with
a size seven and three-quarters hard
boiled" hat, derby of late design and
good quality, that it should be re-
turned at once to Congressman Slemp-
Said hat has associated with it GER
tain memories-besides costing five
dollars.
Therefore are we justified in the
suggestion that hat-rack and cloak
room be established at the White
House. Then the visitor can receive
his check, emblazoned with the seal
of the government, and can. feel some
sense of security as to the safety Of
his headgear while he is chatting with
Secretary Hilles or comforting with
the Observation-Disclosures Newsletter.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
THICAGO.-Th1eves to catch thieves,
~ and women to catch women. If

rH1CAGO.-Thieves to catch thieves,
~ and women to catch women. If
the first, why not the second?
So reasons John McWeeny, chief Of
police. And since it sounded good to
the head of Chicago's police depart
ment thereupon outlined his plans for
a regular beauty squad
Hat pins caused his cogitations and
the same pointed reasons, coupled
with an old ordinance that never has
done duty, will inspire the 20 girls he
hopes to enlist in the service.
"You see, my men are bashful," ex-
planned the chief. and men are any
way. Now if you were standing on the
corner and pink checked girl stroll
ed by with the points of her hat pins
sticking out foot, would you arrest
her?
mo, you'd probably wink your eye
at your brother officer and say, No, no,
my no-she amt breakin' the law So
you see, we've just got to have girls
to catch girls-a regular beauty
squad
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
Girls to Enforce Hat Pin Ordinance

And since the decision has been
made, the next step is to get the girls.
The chief says he has received letters
from many volunteers. From these he
will choose the beauties" and they
will be placed in charge of Mrs Mary
Owens, Chicago's only police woman.
Then when the woman with the hat
pins strolls by, a fashionably dressed
girl, wearing a tiny star where she
formerly wore the pin of her sorority,
will touch her on the shoulder and
suggest that, The captain wants
you"
And herein lies just one fear that
may wreck the proposed beauty squad
before its organization.
What if the woman shouts: What
for?" and the beauty policeman says:
Your hat pins are too long; they
stick out too far; you are under ar.
rest" will the arrested one cry Leave
me alone or I'll scratch your eyes
out?"
Will this be followed by a real hair.
pulling contest? And will the original
gentleman policeman have to cry
break" stop the argument, and take
both fighters for a ride in the blue
wagon?
These are questions experience alone
can solve. And Chief McWeeny says
he will take a chance on the battles
just to try out his plan.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
Capitol Trees Planted By .Statesmen

ton elm because when the father al
his country used to do some surveying
in the vicinity he ate his lunch be-
meath it. The other was the Cameron
tree, 80 called because Simon Cam
eron Of Pennsylvania paid for having
It saved and moved when It was
found necessary to use the spot on
which it had stood for some other pur.
pose. This spring Elliott Woods, 90:
,perintendent Of the capitol, noting
that some Of the trees on the grounds
were showing age, devised the idea Of
planting new ones to preserve the ap-
pearance of the grounds when the old
ones finally gave way. With this came
the idea Of having some statesman
hold the shovel moment In order to
give the new trees each name.
Nine trees have now been planted
and when former Speaker Cannon fin
ishes his, making the count ten, the
work for this year vii be done. The
vice-president planted purple beech.
Senator Wetmore of Rhode Island.
who is very rich, sent home for an
English beech. Senator Cullom plant
ed an American elm and said he hoped
to live until it should attain its
growth. Senator Lodge and Congress-
man James R. Mann of Illinois and
William ]. Browning of New jersey
planted red oaks, while Senator Ba-
con of Georgia inserted a pin oak into
the ground and Senator Gallinger Of
New Hampshire willow oak. Speak
er Clark planted a sugar maple and
his predecessor will plant a red oak.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

NO longer will the minds of the en-
~ ployes Of the patent office be dis
tracted by the jangling of the
aucti0neer's bell.
For some time past numerous COM
plants have been made to Clement S.
'Ucker, chief clerk of the department
of the interior, by employees of the
patent Office, to the effect that their
work was interfered with by the in
cessant ringing of bell at an auc-
tioneer's establishment, in Seventh
street Northwest, between E and F
streets, opposite the patent Office.
They complained that the bell COM
menced ringing promptly at 9 o'clock
in the morning and that it continued
until 4:3O o'clock.
Chief Clerk Ucker finally reported
the matter to the police and an at.
tempt was made to arrest the auc-
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
PRESIDENT GOMEZ BIG JOB

Notwithstanding the statement OF
President Gomez of Cuba, that he
would soon put down the rebellion
against his government, there are
well-informed Americans who think
the Cuban president has a really big
job on his hands.
One such man, who recently re-
turned from the island, said that the
chief trouble with the Cuban govern
ment is that it doesn't understand
economics and has no desire to do so.
Any person who arises with a sugges-
ton to check the reckless expendt-
lures is quickly squelched. More than
anything else Cuba needs some one
to curb this throwing away of public
money and the United States will
have to put some one in Cuba to do
that very thing in the near future.
The budget must be prepared under
some systematic plan Of making neces-
sary expenditures for the public good
and not under a general plan of dis
tributing money for :, the benefit Of
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

household, the man was finally revived
by physician. In half dozen Ian
guages the man was asked:
What is your name?" To this ques-
ton, in Italian, propounded by the
elder Comeau, the man made muttered
reply: "Gerome!" Never after that,
however, did "Gerome" utter a word
except on one occasion when asked
where he came from. Trieste" was
the reply made, seemingly in IN I'M
guarded moment.
Physicians from all parts of the
world, who have visited this Land of
Evangeline in the 81 summers that
have elapsed since "Gerome" was
found on the beach, have studied the
mans case. Most of them have agreed
that he might have spoken had he de-
cided to do SO; one or two have vouch-
safed the opinion that some terrible
experience through which "Gerome
passed frightened him out of his
senses and rendered him unable to Ut
ter an Ineligible word.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
1000 units OF ordinary illuminating

1000 units Of ordinary illuminating
gas. s.
Republican money and railway
sleeping cars are two Innovations in
old-fashioned China. H.. The new Chin.
csc republic dollars, the 5mintfng of
which has just begun, bear two lions
and the Chinese character for s"one
dollar" on one side, and on the reverse
the characters Current Mopey" and
Chinese Repueatc, z, with a wreath Of
flowers. appear. Yuan Shi-kai has in
spected the new e:dns and has given
his approval of thef=.s H., : 81 49,:
The first Of two slssping cars avail.
able for service between Shanghai ana
Marking was put into use ON April IL.
It is 6S feet long and the hunks are
each z feet long. ga. E<<5.. ~
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
Deaf Mutes Fling Epithets in Cou

an interpreter: Finally Police Ser.
geant Quackenbos, who Is six feet tall
and built like a hack, was reached at
police headquarters and came down to
court while the quiet excitement was
at its height.
Complainant Hecker was pretty
weak in the wrists when he took the
stand and related how he had been
insulted and thwacked with the UNI
brella. Quackenbos did not translate
the insults, but Informed the court
that in thumb and digit discourse the
language was pretty fierce.
Then Miss Sullivan took the stand
and talked so fast that Quackenbos
couldn't get her. He told the magis-
trate she was having a fit of manual
Mysteries. He made swimming mo-
lions at the witness, wig-wagging for
her to become calm. There was a
great stiffness in the court and at the
same time great tumult. All the
deaf-mutes were talking at once and
becoming purple in the face.
At last Miss Sullivan talked herself
into a swoon and was carried to an
ante-room. Brought out again, she
talked herself into another swoon and
came out of No. 2 quite limp. Then 1t
was drawn from her that Hecker had
made unpleasant 1eft-handed remarks
to her and that she was entirely justi-
fed in swinging at him with her UNI
brella.
Il guess this is all we can stand for
one day." adjudged the court, mop
ping his brow. case dismissed"
AS the two silent factions filed out
of the courtroom there was a wireless
riot in the corridors until the man.
moth Sergeant Qackenbos interviewed
and waved them apart.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

It was then that Miss Brown decid.
ed on the visit to grocery up the
tracks. None of the seniors saw the
disposal Of the efigy, and all were
mystified at seeing the oak trea re-
lieved of it's burden.
While the q members of the junior
class were attending reception given
by Mrs. Anna Sneed Cairns, president
of the university, the seniors, As
strong, stole march. on them BY
climbing telegraph poles in thu vicin
ity and afixing their colors. yellow and
white.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

the
Japan and earned ere
MS Work reTuonary
against which it would hurl vain
" 4at originated planned
C9nese
dreamer ea1st He
unalzable
Chinese thoughts
he they constitute
first rank the nation them ~
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
YUAN SHI-KAI MAN OF FACTION

The most hopeful sign that the new
order of things in China will be bet
ter than the old is the rise of leaders.
For several decades the Chinese have
tried to arouse themselves from their
lethargy, SO as to become a wide
awake, modern people. In all their
struggles upward they have bewailed
the lack of leaders. Time and again
during the last decades it has been
said: "China has no great men, no
leaders" The revolution brought the
leaders.
Pre-eminen: among these stands
Yuan Shi-ka:s, a mHa WHO, though
trained in tho old schcol, is neverthe-
less a moderh man. he is thoroughly
Chinese and understands the capaci-
ties as well as the reeds of his peo~
pie. He is e'ninentlE a practical man.
He is not 2, theori6::, but a man of
action.
Ii Yuen E7ung, the vice president, is
the real hero of the revolution. He is
the man WHO can a~ouse the enthusi-
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Baseball magnates threaten to short
en- the playing season, but they gen.
erously refrain from taking any action
which might prevent the fans from
talking about or thinking of the
game the whole year round.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
WINSTON CHURCHILL CIIMRIN?

There is good reason for the keen
interest felt in this country in the
recent cable dispatches to the effect
that Winston Churchill bids fair to be
Asquith's successor as premier of
Great Britain and leader Of the Lib
eral party.
Half American, as he is through
his mother, the present Mrs. George
CORNWALL s-West, who before she be.
came Lady Randolph Churchill was
Miss Jennie Jerome, and who is the
daughter of the late Leonard Jerome
of New York, his every political act
has reflected his friendliness to the
United States and his high regard for
American political institutions. His
induction into the highest political
office in Great Britain should mark
the beginning of even closer relations
between the two countries than now
exist. Almost his last political utter
ance in justification Of the Irish home
rule bill passed in the House of Com.
mons offered as one of the prime rea-
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

A Chicago woman advertised for a
maid and promised an auto ride once
a week as an inducement. Her only
applicant wanted to see a picture of
the chauffeur. Certainly; there could
be no Joy in a Joy ride If the element
of joyousness were missing.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

The government has decided that
two cats employed In subtreasury tc
keep rats and mice from eating i'm
portant papers and who are faithfully
fulfilling their duties, must subsist Oh
charity, as the price of meat is toe
high for the treasury department te
feed them. { III S.@.s :SsS:$sA
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

In San Francisco, the defendant in
divorce suit ignored his child, but
asked that the custody of pet span.
lei be awarded to him. The dog with
the child was awarded by the court
to the more human-minded of the con-
jugal partners in the case.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
"ANGEL"oF IMMIGRANT GIRLS

TITS long timeto think back" said
Miss Alma Matthews, the Angel" Of
Ellis Island, and ones mind is over
flowing with memories and stories.
just don't know whore to begin. l
began work here for the Women's
Home Missionary Society Of the Meth
odist Episcopal church in. 1886, and
have been here ever since. 49,.
Just now we deal with girls only,
but years ago we often had to care
for boys too, When first began work
we used to meet! the immigrants at
Castle Garden. Those were dreadful
times. Runners from all the lodging
houses, mostly dives, waited for the
gates to open, and when the dazed
immigrants were turned loose they
pounced on them like wolves, and we
had our work cut out for US. But New
York soon woke up to the situation
and changed all that"
In the bright little parlor of the
Home at No. 9 State street, New York.
there were young women and girls
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

his belief than anything else would tend to
between England the United States
His been repeatedly by his audacy his political
lost to the public For his
this ruler Of the kings
a maintained by boldly increasing his
in building which she might devise
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

An English writer tells US that wo-
men would make successful explorers
When 1t comes to exploring the fast
nesses of friend husbands trousers in
the dead of night they certainly are
there, as the lowbrows say
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
Easy Ink Eraser,

A blot of ink on your paper may b
easily removed by means of one Of
those little emery cardboard stripi
that are used for manicuring the nails
Just rub it lightly over the ink ate,
blottfng carefully, and it will remove
every trace, yet leaye the paper IL
good condition. ..% >s.. ! y. . z..s.:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

An Indian woman wants a divorce
because her husband tried to compel
her to wear his old false teeth. When
the case comes to trial her lawyer
ought to be able to work in few bits
of biting sarcasm.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
The Chocolate Plant.

The chocolate plant is native of
America. When first introduced into
Europe chocolate was used only az q
luxury, but 1t speedily advanced in
popular esteem. II Is now cultivated
II countries far from its original home.
The chocolate plant, 40 well % tea
and c36ee, has been cultivated from
time fmmemoriaL Chocolate 40 e
beverage rapidly made IT. Wy IN
Europe, beginning fl Spain, whittier II
80 drst brough t l11Iarper's Wsskly.z.s.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Ten bull fighters killed and 166 in.
jured in S72 bull fights in Spain dur.
Ing 1911 Is a statistical testimonial
that SPANS bullfighting game is de-
termincd to keep ahead of our nation
al pastime of football
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

The New York Medical Journal
makes the announcement that card
playing is injurious to the mind. It
does not explain how it found the ma
terial that was necessary for expert
menting.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

A Philadelphia brain expert says
that women save not as much brains
as men. Just now no man interested
in public affairs would be bold enough
to indorse any such insinuation in q
state where women are voting.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

A Pennsylvania court rules that Il
voters home is where his wife lives.
Which leaves the bachelors to find
their own homes, a feat sometimes
difficult for some of them late al
night.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Trinity Church, New York. has an
income OF 100000 a year. How
cheap a man who cart afford to put
more than nickel upon the contribu.
ton plate must feel there.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28


DRESS
mother
These" continued Miss
are scattered all big continent Look this little We
these
their distant relatives
this continually
lost
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Cincinnati women have voted to set
an example in simplicity. But It Is
said sometimes that there is nothing
else so expensive as simplicity. that
is, fashionable simplicity.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Now scientist says that big nose
Is sign Of nerve. True, and often its
bfgness is due to the fact that it's
owner insisted on putting it in other
peoples affairs
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Nearly 1900 American books were
listed by publishers this spring, and
few Of them, indeed, will provide
money to those who wrote them for
summer vacations.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Chicago boasts OF the years first
heat prostration. Evidently trying to
live up to its reputation as a hot old
town.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

In France eagles are being trained
to attack airships. The day may come
when we shall have city ordinances
requiring the muzzling of our eagles.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Once in a while the weather man
causes us to forget the straw hat ques-
ton and cast longing eyes at some
body's umbrella.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Chicago man was given a divorce be-
cause his wife persisted in going
through his pockets. The Judge, we
take it, Is a married man.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Every time we read Of an aeroplane
that there is one born every minute.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

'Massaging with warm cocoa but
ter" says a beauty expert. develops
the arms" So does massaging dishes.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Bathing" says a German scientist,
"multiplies bacteria" but few men
have died from excessive cleanliness.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

A few drops of oil, properly admin
istered. will soften your lawnmowes's
raucous voice.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

The new French aeroplane line over
the English channel has adopted IT,
minute schedule.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Some men live for years in indus
try and righteousness and then spoil
1t all by going into politics.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Speaking of unsolved mysteries,
what has become of the bearded lady
and the dog-faced boy:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
empty now and the country

those Office The Cuban practically
has little for it.
good deal expected IL
the son wealthy cattle raiser When
demonstrated
dsunted
sDots n the administration
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

New Jersey is discussing whether
dead mosquitoes should be paid for by
weight or by the pint.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

All genuine Mocha and Java coffee
comes from Brazil, and the valortza-
ton mill.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Today's short story deals with q
man who poured gasoline into his mo-
tor car while smoking a pipe.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28

Avtators who carry the mails will
have no chance to read the postcards.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-06-28
Life in Cuba Is just one roughhouss
after another.

Chicago's birth rate is decreasing.
but its population liars are not.