The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1912-03-05
Reaching a
Compromise

light of touching a match to a bundle
IF excelsior and daring it to burn.
All his life he had SHE'D at neck
ties on the theory that if the beneh-
cent powers above had lowered
man with chin whiskers it was rank
extravaganza for him to adOrn himself
with unseen finery. Likewise he could
not understand the blind foolishness
of masculine individuals who turned
from celluloid collars which one could
wash daily and thus save unnecessary
laundry bills. AS for clothes-they
were merely required for covering.
This, then, was the problem An
toinette Weber had to wrestle with
when she came back from boarding
school and began to get the family ar
ranged for her wedding.
Being woman, her mother was
quite amenable to new ideas, but
when Antoinette tackled Jeffrey he
figuratively stood up on his hind legs
and roared a war cry.
''Dress suit" he choked. "Me! At
my age! Cracky! Never!"
Now, father" Antoinette began
soothingly, quite as though she held
tablespoonful Of bitter medicine in one
hand and was prying open his teeth
with the other, II want you to look
your best when Horace and his friends
get here"
Look my best!" her father roared
again. Dressed up like monkey on
a stick!"
"And you've got to wear a tie," An.
toinette broke in, firmly.
They revived Antionette's father
with tender care, but he never was the
same man after that. He gloomed
around the premises, surveying with
a hostile eye the housekeeping prep
arations for the coming wedding and
he developed jumpiness at every,
thing unusual and suspicious.
Antoinette was in despair. She was
marrying into rather fashionable
family and the thought of Horace's
college friends and his family arriv
ing to find that while her father had
a heavy bank account he had no sense
of sartorial values was tragedy.
Horace and his party won't get
here till the day ITSELF" Antoinette
told her mother in one of their hope
less conferences. "They won't notice
dad so much then, but in the evening
/ at the wedding-mother, I'll just die il
he wears that baggy old gray sack
suit and his celluloid collar and nc
tie!"
'Then I'm afraid you're due to die
! daughter, "said Mrs. Weber, who haG
been married to Antoinette's father
long enough to know.
Il won't!" snapped Antoinette, will
! the blind faith Of youth in it's powers
"Ill manage it somehow. Pm not go
ing to have the only wedding I'll have
in my whole life spoiled by father:
ridiculous stubbornness!"
She and her father eyed each othe1
warily toward the last, like gladiator:
before the fight. Her father ostenta
tiously bought a new celluloid collar
| and a fresh ten cent collar button anC
| a new pair Of calfskin boots.
The day of the wedding Antoinette's
father, the only incongruous spot in {
| refurbished, decorated house, filled
with frills and fluff, went upstairs t.
get ready for the evenings fray. Lay
ing out his new collar and collar but
ton and simply tossing his old gra!
: clothes over chair, he stepped into
| the bathroom for lis additions. He
was absent 20 minutes.
When he came back to his room hs
| blinked. On the bed were spread some
! strange black things. The coat wa:
low cut and had long tails. Paten
leather pumps stood fiendishly beside
! q pair of silk socks. There were alst
t some weird stand-up linen collars ant
a box Of white ties and large
bosomed shirt. There was nothing else
in the way OF clothes in the room
Nobody paid any attention to hi:
rawlings and pOundings, for everybod!
was dressing the bride or was gettins
dressed. Choking, gasping, hectic
with rage, Aptoinette's father danced
/ in his bathrobe, pohing q finger nov
and then at the hated garments.
Finally the wedding went on. Every
body was present but the brides ia
Their. After the ceremony and con
gratulations the bride herself headed
a search party for him.
Holding her trailing satin skirt il
one hand, Antoinette, accompanied b.
Horace, ran him down at last in thu
most secluded corner Of the haymow
There he sat, hunched up, smoking {
pipe fiercely. He had on the clothes
sWathed, punched around him, the
dress shirt and the high collar and al
but the collar button cleaned def
antly between the strands of his whis
kers, proclaiming his last stand-nc
necktie! He glared at his daughter
and his newly achieved son-in-law.
Father" begged the bride tremu
lopsly, come down, please! It's time
to go in to supper. There's scallopet
oysters and"
| a.