davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
BACHELOR IS EXPOSED
rWo SPECIES, THE TaocLopy-rE
AND BUTTERFLY, KNOWN.
heir Unnatural Civil Condition Re.
garded by Woman as Reproach
to Her Claims and Reflec-
tion on Her Skill.

The bachelor is man living In q
singular and unnatural state; social
ouccaneer, fawned on and followed
BY doWagers, feared and feted by
daughters; whose type in all the ages
has been considered a danger to So
,iety, threat to civilization, scan
1al to his race, man to be chased,
captured and chastened.
There are two species of bachelors
the troglodyte or hard-shell bache-
Tor, and the butterfly or temporary
bachelor. The former has his lair in
fiat, his habitat in club, and his at
mosphere Is smoky, alcoholic and
cynical; the latter is futterer in
drawing rooms, an habitue at four
o'clock teas and assemblies, smiling,
elusive, sartorial male creature, who
Is netted and hobbled in due season.
There is large and negligible
genus of male creatures who are mere
~ quasi-bachelors; men who are re-
luctantly single, and are captured and
led away by any petticoat who hap
pens along.
The bachelor is the pursuit and
prey of woman, who regards his civil
condition as reproach to her charms
and a reflection on her skill; and her
aim is to snare him and lead him into
captivity to the end that she may
acquire a house, a home, a husband
and helot to harry, hector, humble
and humanize. To survive long In
freedom bachelor must be gifted
with unusual wisdom and unwonted
WEAKNESS. The female of the species
camps on his trail eternally wise
willy and wistful, attentive, attractive
and alluring, smiling in his face, prais
ing his talents, Turing him into corners
where dangers Turk and traps are
sprung, and where the helpless old
he bachelor is hypnotized, held
hooked, battered and harnessed, and
where he speaks instead of holding
his peace. Then in the meshes oil
his slim, silken, soft-eyed feline cap
tor, the bachelor is led away to the
church, tied up in knot and reduced
to serfdom. Then is his glory depart
ed. The chase done, the quarry
seized, he becomes merely a payer o.
bills, hooker Of waists, scalI
hanging at slender belt, pitied by
those who chased and failed and stig
matized as a silly old fool as he is
led around by the Diana who hunted
and battered him.
AS bachelor he was the envy O
his sex, the desire of women. the wei
coined of spinsters, the sought-after O
mothers, the cynosure of eye, the in
spirer Of signs, lion among thu
ladies. AS benedict, none is SO poo
as to do him reverence: he is an o.
in the yoke, broken broncho, hold
er of hats, a carrier of cloaks, but
toner of gloves, shadow in the pro
lcession, mere married man. Sit
transit gloria bachelorum.-Life.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
The Story of Scotch.

Scotch was a short-nosed collie,
with slight strain of shepherd blood
and had face that was exceptionally
expressive and pleasing. When grown
he was trifle larger than the average
dog and was surprisingly agile and
powerful for his size. His coat was a
shaggy, silky black. with feet, tip OF
tail, and breast of pure white.
Talking to animals appears to make
them gentler and more responsive
Scotch never tired of listening to me
and often talked to him as though
he were child. He came to under
stand many of the words used. II l
said "hatchet," he fastened to bring
It; If fire." he at once endeavored to
discover where it was. Cheerfully and
intelligently he tried to help me, and
early became efficient In driving cat
tie, horses or burros. Instinctively he
was a heller and with swift heel n1ps
quickly awakened and gave direction
to lazy or unwilling critters.-C Country
Life In America.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
SHOWING HIM SHE DID CARE
sweet Girl Accepted Invitation to Am.
ateur Art Exhibition From
Grouchy Young Man.

I have called" said the young man,
to tell you that am about to start
on long Journey"
"Oh," replied the sweet girl. how
interesting. Tell me all about 1t.
When do you expect to start?"
In two or three days. may never
come back alive"
I'm sorry to hear that. Where are
you going?"
ITO the City Of Mexico"
"Have you business interests there?"
mo, but travelling In Mexico is very
dangerous, you know"
Then why do you go?"
well. have been thinking 1t over,
and 1t seems to me that I may as we'll
go. Nobody seems to care whether I
remain here or not"
I'm sure 1t can't be as bad as
that. Isn't there any girl that you
ever invite to go to the theater or
or-anything?"
Would you be sorry was going II
I ever invited you to go to anything?"
-I-I-well, I might be-"
I'm so glad to hear you say that.
I've got couple of tickets to an am
ateur art exhibition for Thursday eve,
ming. VIII you go?'
ION one condition"
what is it,"
"That you will not insist on paying
my car fare"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
CLING TO THEIR PRIVILEGES
Ambassadors Enjoy Many Rights
That Have Been Accorded Them
for Centuries.

Ambassador" and minister" mean
pretty must the same to the average
man. but there is very great Differ
ence between the two, inasmuch as an
ambassador possesses many privileges
abroad that do not pertain to a mere
minister.
Perhaps the most curious privilege OF
an ambassador, who is accredited TO
the ruler of a country and not merely
to the government thereof, as is min
lister. is that the ambassador may when
dismissed turn his back to the SOW
ereign to whose court he has been
assigned. Briefly described the MODE
of procedure is as follows:
when the audience is at an end the
ambassador waits to be dismissed Dy
the sovereign. When dismissed the am
bassador bows, retires three PAGES,
bows again, turns on his heels ana
walks to the folding doors. But wnen
the reigning sovereign is woman q
more polite method is employed. 10
turn his back would be to resign a
privilege; therefore the ambassador re-
tires sideways. He keeps one eye on
the sovereign and with the other ne
endeavors to find the door. BY TINS
unioue means he contrives to show al
no,iteness to the sovereign and at the
same time retain his ambassadorlal
privilege in retiring. Another privhege
of an ambassador is that OF being usn-
cred into the royal presence through
folding. doors. both of which must be
flung wide for him. None save an am
bassador can claim this privilege, the
greatest favor in this respect that can
be shown any non-ambassadoriai rep.
resentative consisting in the opening
to him of one door only
There is one privilege OF the amDas-
sador, a privilege that sometimes oc-
casions great Inconvenience to the
ruler which consists OF his right to
demand admission to the sovereign Dy
day or by night
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
How She FIGURED II.

And now let us insert the infantile
anecdote of the day-the one Of the
biggest bunch that arrives. This Is
from a clergyman. so it must be new
true and moral.
"A little friend Of mine," the dom1
ME tells us, came to me very proudly
the other day, to show me her Sunday
school good conduct cards. She had
lot of them. I get one every Sunday
I don't MISS said she. And I'm going
to try not to miss for whole year.
"'That will be fine,' answered
And what will happen If you don't
miss a card for all the Sundays in one
whole Year,"
"'Why. them she smiled brightly
then I'll have q complete deck!'"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
Couldn't Miss That Chance.

I'm China" said Mrs. Wadsworth,
they do nearly all things in exactly
the opposite way from that in which
they are done here"
eyes," replied Mrs. Dawson. II have
heard that they did,"
For instance, when one person de-
sires to compliment another over there
he does not say, How young you look
but How old you look and when one
person is asked to guess another's age
he always guesses that the person
whose age is under discussion is much
older than his or her appearance
lwould indicate"
Dear me, how curious. It would be
rather difficult for them to compliment
you in that way over there, wouldn't
it,"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
How They Kept Their Word.


II you happened to be in the town
Of Scituate and should see two men
engaged in an ordinary conversation
with the exception that they were
standing back to back and looking di.
rectly away from each other, you
may be sure that they are the Litch.
field brothers. And the wherefore OF
their strange relative positions origi.
mated many years ago, when both
were young and lived at home with
the old folks
A bitter quarrel resulted in the mu'
tual declaration that IT don't never
want to look at We ag'in."
And although the passing years
have obliterated the "casus belli, .
they still adhere to this traditional
show of carrying out the letter OF
their passion fraught resolution.-Bos'
ton Record.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
"A Great Friend Of Mlne.r

Why Is it that when people who are
rather superior or distinguished are
mentioned that phrase "a great friend
of mine" is attached to them? Turn
your thoughts to the best-bred people
you know, the people in whose society
It is a real privilege to be included;
do you notice how seldom they refer
to people whom you don't know
After all, their intercourse is with you
and naturally wellbred people think
Of the interests Of those tlley talk to,
and have no desire to drag in their
private affairs and friends for the
sake Of forming an impressive picture
IN their friends minds.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
Grounds for Divorce.

A Cleveland lawyer overworks the
telephone to tell us this one:
"a woman came up to my office the
other day and wanted to know If she
could get q divorce because her hus'
band didn't believe In the Bible.
told her that unless she had something
else on him there would be no use In
bringing suit.
but he Is an absolute infldel!' she
insisted.
"That makes no difference said l.
Doesn't It, indeed!' she cried, tri.
umphantly. Well, you are fine law
yer, I must say. Here's the laws OF
Ohio, and they say that inf1delity. Il
proved. is ground for divorceT"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21

In the dairy house, pushed aside the
cover of the crock, and in twinkling
sucked up a full quart of it's con-
tents, and then wriggled back to its
home under the floor-and without
having the courtesy to replace the
cover.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
Smile. Admit to Theater.

Smiles admitted at local theatel
last night, when Peter Knollenburg, q
pioneer, celebrated his sixty-ninth
birthday by inviting his friends to
share the entertainment.
Posters were sent broadcast. an
nouncing that every one with a smile
would be welcome.
The house was packed.
At the close Knollenburg was pre-
scented with a high silk hat.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21

snow, followed by fine brood OF
young chicks. The pullet had hidden
her nest in an abandoned cellar, and
her setting of eggs had Matched out
fine brood with which, in high feather,
through the teeth of a blizzard, she
proceeded to "beat it" for the warmer
Innate of the barn,
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
Ambiguous.

Temperance lecturer Tin impaA
sioned speech)-Perhaps there IL
some one In this very assembiage who
haa = bottle Of the vile liquid tn his
pocketf
Daacon scraggs e little deaf. who
has caught the spirit Of the speaker
rather than the words)-Hear. hear!-.
Puck.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
Wl.e Old George.

Shc-And how did you like the
meeting, George?
He-Fine. Especially the talk by
that pretty little Mrs. Featherly.
She-Mrs. Featherly! Why. the sill
" creature hasn't an idea In her fool
ish head.
He-Maybe not, my dear, but she's
awfully cute.
Sheen second thought. George
you needn't go with me again.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
He Had.

Haven't you any fruit that you car
guarantee to be free from worms?' 2
asked the particular customer.
Eyes, sir" said the dealer; 'Tve got
q carload of bananas. There may be
a tarantula or two, but if you can
find a worm in any of them I'll make
you present of the entire lot"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
Might Miss Something.

"Do you ever search your husbands
pockets?"
'No. He talks in his sleep and ]
am always afraid to leave the room,
even for minute. / have never been
able to get him to hang up his clothes
n our bedroom"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
1r.ntaIlze the Flowers"

Coming home the other day IN =
rnsh OF excitement, Dora rushed 70
her mother and said:
"Oh, mamma, guess what We ale
gong to dot" J.
II don't know, dear. but l nope y
is nothing dreadful"
were going to study botany, ano
next Saturday we are going out @
t,a woods to tantalixe the nower1.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
In Some Doubt.

"Does your husband know anythine
about baseball?"
Really, / don't know. He talks 2
yreat deal about It. but his remarks
,eem incoherent to me-"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
PLEASANT suRPRIsE.

A farmers wife, In the northwest,
vas rendered speechless with amaze
ment one morning recently, while
watching snowstorm from her
kitchen window, for she beheld q
young hen which had been missing
or several weeks, going through the
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21

most lazy men console themseive.
-..,, tl,e reelection that their intel
iects At least, are not torpid.
s4That.s true, but . straw vote tak'
.mmr their friends and neighbors
would oftsn disabuss them O tnas
fond belisf'
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
LIKED FRESH MILK.

An Indiana woman who had been
missing milk from her crooks every
morning, for weeks, finally set watch
.or the thief. 1t came up through hole
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21

envelope, in the center, as shown, thus
making secure the adhesive flap and
preventing any possibility Of tamper'
ing with the contents.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
oh. the Ideal

II saw q woman doing the Jelly
wabble' On the street yesterday.
How shocking! Do you suppose II
was because she was intoxicated r
mo. / suppose It was because she
was so TAT"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
Geological.

"She is the finest specimen OF the
typographical girl l ever saw"
Typographical girl? What kind Is
.hat?"
.She has level head and an undu-
ating figure.-Lippincott Magazine.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
The Penalty Of Riches.

Gabe-Wonder what Ruffnek viii do
low that he has inherited q fortune.
steve why, he'll try to forget the
iemijohn and try to learn the demi-
1sse.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
STRANGE FISHING NETS.

On the Congo the native, when catch
Ing fish, uses sort of openwork
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
SAFEGUARDING YOUR LETTERS.

Here is new method Of stamping
letters which is springing up among
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21

Mr.. Smith-Rastus, hear that your
employer drinks considerable. Was he
driven to drink?
Rastus-Wal, not 'zactly, sab, but he
carries bottle undah his automobile
seat, sab.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21

ging along the ocean bed. This Crap
mel is specially designed for the work,
our illustration showing the type used
over rocky bottom. The hooks which
project from the base Of the hollow
are held out by powerful springs. When
these springs come into contact with
rocks or similar distractions they are
forced within the shelter of the cone,
but when they grapple with the cable
they hold on.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
FISHING FOR CABLES.

When submarine cable breaks the
following ingenious method is follow
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21

private correspond
ents, as well as in
many large bust
ness houses. The
stamp is affixed
at the back Of the
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
ANOTHER NOVELTY HAT.

AS a companion to the mirror in
side the crown Of mans hat, a pic
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21

hat brush, which fits tightly, by means
of clip, inside the band of the hat.
The brush, which Is quite light, in
no way affects the balance Of the hat,
and has been found to be very handy.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21

This Is placed in the stream. The fish.
coming down, swim into the opening,
all unsuspecting.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21
The Wrono Interpretatlon,

Ino WRONG INTERPRETATIONS
Els Dlbble man Of quick apprehsn
sicnfs
~suro. Hes afraid Of his shadow.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21

trumpet, made OF
wooden withes In
terlaced together
in basket fashion.
very wide at one
end, and tapering
off RI a fnn uoint-
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21

Gu III OIUcT 10 pICK
up the ends. A
vessel is navi-
gated over the
track of the cable,
with grannel drag
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-06-21

ture or which was
recently publish.
ed, hat 'manufac-
turers have now
introduced another
nOVelty-a small
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1912-10-30

Vote Republican ticket straight.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1912-10-30
WEEKLY LETTER MARKET.
Report of Condition of Western Stock
Market at Kansas City.

Kansas City stock Yards, Oct. %,
1912. Heavy buying for the country
trade was again the feature of the
market last week, about thirty-fve
thousand head being taken out dur
ing the week. That was forty per
cent of the total supply. Buyers
wanted stock cattle more than feed
ers, and more of the feeders were of
The thin kind, intenoed for a rough
passage through the winter, finish
ing out in the mild weather next
spring and summer, on grass, not
a great many going into dry lots
for full feeding. The market hello
about steady during the week, with
middle class stock steers 10 TO l..
lower the last half of the week. a
larger number of cattle came direcs
from the range last week than hith-
erto, and buyers were able to salts
ty any kind of a desire for either
stock steers or feeders. Thirteen
cars of two year old Hereford pam
handle steers sold at S7.15, weighing
90S pounds, and a large number of
panhandle ones and twos sold at
$3.50 to $6.75 and stock heifers at
$3.50. Top native feeders last week
brought $3.50. A year ago the high
est price paid for feeders was 1928
and for stockers $5.25. An Indiana
buyer picked UP load of well bred
native yearling heifers sos pounds
at $500. The offerings are running
the whole gamut now, and will con-
tinue to do SO this week, and prob
ably next. Receipts today are So
n n
cows and heifers 10 to 10 higher
Estimate for tomorrow is $4,000, in
dicating that the total for this week
will fall little short Of last week,
though it viii be 5000 more than
same week last year. The make up
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1912-10-30
CORRESP 0kDENCE.
LINCOLN TOWNSHIP.

Monday, Oct. 20, 1912.
General election next week Tues
day.
Hope everybody viii be satisfied
with the results of the election as
we are with the weather.
Miss Emma Mix came home from
Lawler recently to help the folks pick
corn.
Rev. John Heinmiller, agent for
Wilson Bros. extracts, soaps, etc.,
made his periodical call through
here last week.
John Weidaman of Cresco called
upon the boys here last week, and
greeted some Of mis- old friends.
C. f. Bertossa of Freeport came
up here last Saturday to visit his
daughter, Mrs. Frank Kuntz.
Herbert Keune of Golden Ridge,
Howard county, called at the t.
Kratz home last Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. VIM. Kratz of Cresco
attended services in the Evangelical
church here last Sabbath.
Miss Hattie Kratz went to Cresco
Tuesday to take part in Halloween
piano recital at the home of her
music teacher Miss Lauraine Meade
Mr.. and Mrs. Sam Kratz OF How
ard county, visited friends and rel
atives In this vicinity Sunday.
Mrs. Frank Kuntz and the children
departed for Chicago last Saturday
TO visit the formers mother who will
leave for the state Of Washington
this week Friday.
a number Of young folks enjoyed
themselves at an old fashioned candy
pull at the home of Mr.. and Mrs. VIM.
Kuntz last week one evening.
Halloween this week Thursday,
SO look out for some boy pranks.
Wild ducks and geese have been
driven southwark by the recent cold
spell that we have had
Joe Noyak and his sister Miss
Agnes have been entertaining a
cousin of theirs from North Dakota
the past week.
Mrs. Albert Milk has been reported
among the sick the past week.
Sam Kratz of Howard county, was
agreeably surprised one evening last
week by number of his friends and
relatives from here, who went in a
body to remind him of his birthday.
Young and old enjoyed the occasion
very much and it was not until the
early morning appeared in the east
ern horizon that they. all departed
again to their several homes.
Fritz Ramseyer and Miss Pauline
of Ridgeway were callers west of the
river Sunday.
The bridge across the Turkey river
is now completed all but filling in On
both sides.
There was basket social in the
Smith schoolhouse last Friday even
ing.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1912-10-30
CONOvER.

Monday, Oct. %, 1912.
Miss Lizzie Krall arrived from
Cedar Rapids last week for a visit
with her folks.
Mrs. Albert kuderna and daughter
and Rosie Kafka of Calmar visited at
the Mike Krall home Sunday.
Math Phillips was at DEBORAH on
Saturday on business.
Mrs. Joseph Becvar was at Calmar
Wednesday shopping.
Mrs. Ed. Sberal of near Spillyille
was at Cresco Saturday on business.
Barney SwartZ was at DEBORAH on
Monday between trains.
Mrs. Albert Janeckek visited at
Calmar Sunday with her daughter.
Fred and Susan Swehla of Calmar
spent Sunday at the Ed. Swehla
home.
Mrs. Ed. Phillips was shopping at
CaImar Friday
Mrs. John Frana and Wilhelmine
We're passengers for Calmar Satur-
day.
Mrs. Frank Pavelosky was at FIT
Atkinson one day last week visiting.
A. A. Novak and family from Spill
vile spent Sunday afternoon at the
George Cummings home.
Ed. Sberal and wife and Mrs. Jos.
Novak visited at the John Frana home
Sunday afternoon.
Mrs. Mike Krall is visiting al
Charles City with relatives.
James Humpal and wife and VIII
Phillips and sister Stella visited al
the Mike Phillips home near Calmal
Sunday.
Mrs. Thos. Erland was a DEBORAH
visitor Saturday.
Miss Lena Suchan and sister Agnes
were at DEBORAH Friday.
A. A. Novak from Spillville got in
q car of coal here Monday.
Miss Lou Klimesh of Spillyille was
la passenger for Calmar Saturday.
Miss Anna Kubousek was at Cal
mar Monday.
John Frana and Mike McShatko
we're out to Mike Phillips Sunday
evening
j. p. Kuhn of near Spillville was a
visitor at the Mat Phillips home on
Sunday
j. Kubousek and son were at Cal
mar Monday on business.
Mrs. John Prazak and children OF
Calmar visited at the Joe Klema home
few days.