The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1912-08-14
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1912. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

street he stops me TO ask:
Brother Hopkins, can you tell m,
why II is that about thirty of our lead
ing citizens gather at the postoftic,
every week day evening Of the year?
! "well, 1t is the Liars club. i
meets there every evening except Sun
day and would meet then IL the post
Office was kept open
"'Let me understand this thing says
/ the good man. DO you mean that these
citizens knowingly falsifyY
! Certainly
"'But whyT
$50 as to be at the head of the class
There's Uncle Hezekiah Davis. He
was once chased by rattlesnake
| There was only one snake when he
first told Of it, but now he has got the
number up to thirteen and is still gain.
ing. There's Deacon Spooner. He had
a brother
"But you don't mean that Deacon
Spooner liesT
"'You may judge for yourself. He
had brother who went west and was
chased by Indians. After telling the
story three or four times week for
ten years the deacon has got it that he
was run for seven miles and shot
through the calf Of the leg.
Cant you come down tonightT !
asked. Josiah Flintheart is due to
tell his. He always tells his lie Tues
day night. His hired man found a
tramp in the barn years ago, but Jo-
stab makes out that it was be who
found two robbers under the bed in the
house and captured both Of them. Our
Liars club Is going over to Dobbs
Ferry some day soon to hold lying
match with the liars Of that place
"The good man went away with
stern look on his face. and 1t was not
long before we heard from him. He
called us up one by one and said that
the club had to be broken up forthwith,
and two evenings later Deacon Spooner
announced the solemn fact from the
postoffice steps. Two days later Ebene-
ger Jackson came back 70 town after a
visit to Troy. He heard Of the calam-
ity at once, and he stood upon barrel
and said:
SIN the name OF Liberty protest. ]
have just returned from Troy with a
new lot OF lies about Troy laundries
and propose to get them of or perish
In the attempt / respect ministers of
the gospel as much as the next man.
but they can't gag me. Let the club
meet as usual tonight and hear my
new stock of lies.
But the club didn't. The ex-members
wouldn't even listen to Ebenezer as in.
dividuals.
"Ebenezer had a wife and three chill.
dren. In about week, without saying
a word to anybody, the house was shut
up and the family were gone. They
were away for week. When they re-
turned they moved about among other
families more than ever before, and |
four or five days later there was |
scare. Ebenezer came down with the
measles. His wife had some sort Of
epizootic, one of the children had i
whooping cough, another had chicken.
pox and the third had the itch.
"fUncle Jed knew where these things
could be picked up replied Ebenezer
when charged with bringing them back
to town on purpose, and so thought
would make old Swan Creek lively 4
for a little while. When fellow can't
60 down to the postoffice of an evening
and swap few gentle lies with other
liars he must find amusement in some
other direction
mo one living In Swan Greek that
summer will ever forget it. The dis
ease took hold of old and young, and
we had to send for extra doctors and
nurses. No one died, but for month
the place was like a graveyard. Ac-
cording to the doctors. the minister
who was responsible for this state OF
affairs had measles. epizootic and
whooping cough all at once, and 1t was
when he was the sickest that he sent
'or Deacon Spooner. who could just
,rawl around. and suggested that the
hub be resurrected, but the suggestion
,ould not be carried out for lack of
lars. All the rest Of them were on /,
heir backs.
''In time everybody got we'll and bust
less picked up again, but the club was
lever re-established, and the town has
lever fully recovered from the blow
4 its dissolution. Nearly all the male
Inhabitants come down to the post
flee of an evening to get their mail. ,
nd they sit around and whittle and
,ok at one another in a longing way.
Sometimes a tin peddler or a parlor
ryan man staying in the town over
light and not posted on its past history
rill start out TO tell whooping lie to
interest others. but there is never any
omment or applause. His story falls
at. and he rises up, brushes the dust
nd WRITINGS of and saunters away
aging to himself:
"'Well, by thunder. II this isn't the
urndest town ever struck in all my