The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1912-07-25
USELESS

breakfast, and reached for the morn
ing's paper, I'm going shopping to-
lay"
"Uh-huh," responded Mr.. Sweet from
behind his paper.
Il need some things from down
Town, Henry Mrs. Sweet went on.
Besides, Ill have to change that rib
bon you matched for me. 1t isn't the
right shade"
"Uh.huh."
Henry" said Mrs. Sweet petulant-
ly, 81 don't believe you are listening
at all"
Course | am" returned her hus-
band, as he turned to the sporting
page. You said something about a
shade"
81 said," repeated Mrs. Sweet. with
emphatic dlstinctness, "the ribbon you
matched for me isn't the right
shade"
Mr. Sweet lowered his paper and
looked across at his wife.
ITS baby blue, Isn't it?' he asked.
yes. is," returned his wife,
But you know. Henry. l haven't been
able to wear that shade Of blue this
last ten years"
Mr.. Sweet lifted the paper to his
eyes, then lowered It again.
"Why not7" he asked.
Mrs. Sweet studied her empty tea
cup.
why not?" her husband persisted.
Because | am growing stout" she
answered, reluctantly.
Mr.. Sweet stared.
How does that bar your" he
asked
Some people are so Dense" his
wife returned, pointedly.
Mr.. Sweet grinned.
Am l worse than the majority?" he
asked.
You are worse than-some," his
wife qualified.
For instance"
Mrs. Sweet balanced a spoon on the
edge of her teacup.
Cite a person." her husband chal-
lenged.
Il could" asserted Mrs. Sweet.
DO" her husband encouraged.
There's Mr.. JOY" began Mrs.
Sweet.
Who's he?" interrupted her hus-
band.
He lives in the brown cottage
across the street." explained Mrs.
sweet.
Fellow with Dundreary wind
breakers?" questioned her husband
Il am sure his whiskers are very
NICE" said Mrs. Sweet.
How'd you like to see me break
out in that kind Of hailstone catch
ers?" grinned her husband.
Him."
Say it," urged Mr.. Sweet. Don't
spare my feelings"
A twinkle appeared in Mrs. Sweets
eyes, as she returned
You couldn't wear them for the
same reason that can't wear baby
blue"
disqualified because Of overweight,
eh?" grinned Mr.. Sweet. "But about
the gentleman with the microbe-catch-
ers; is he less obtuse than ~"
Mrs, Sweet nodded.
Got any other good qualities l
lack?" went on her husband.
Ills wife can trust him to bring
the exact things she sends him for"
returned Mrs. Sweet.
Good eye, Ell? Particularize some
more"
He anticipates her slightest
wishes"
Must be a wizard" commented Mr..
Sweet. 60 on"
"He looks after the furnace In win
ter, without grumbling; and, in sum-
mer, takes care of the lawn"
Model husband admitted Mr..
Sweet. "But how did you get such
straight line on him?"
Their servants and ours are ac-
quainted," explained Mrs. Sweet.
Il see," grinned her husband, much
enlightened. Anything else Mr..
Model Husband does that l don't and
might?"
when the weather permits. he
takes the baby out for an airing"
81 took ours out the other night"
grinned Mr.. Sweet, "and when we
returned you nearly broke up the
game"
you ought to be ashamed Of
yourself, Henry Sweet" said Mrs,
Sweet Indignantly. "The idea of
keeping that boy out till long past
midnight"
He's 49," asserted her husband.
And he feels the weight of his years,
let me tell you"
Don't forget my shopping money"
Mrs. Sweet reminded him, as her hus-
band arose from the table.
"How much do you need?" he ask
ed. taking out his pocketbook.
twenty-five dollars will be suffi-
cient," said Mrs. Sweet. after am mo
ment's hesitation.
Mr.. Sweet took four five-dollar bills
| from his wallet.
"By the way" he ventured casually