The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-12

erty that would not rent for Salvation Army headquarters. all of which was
 taxed and retaxed until the poor owners were willing to swap them off for vel
 low pup a bag of marbles.
 Not only that what with an unfeeling
 waterworks company who take off six
 months rentals to pay water rates: plumb CTS who grab the other six months rent als tenants who believe 1t is cheaper to
 move than to pay rent or if they don move want the house papered every three months with s2 a roll paper.
 Small boys who have made every glaz- fer in the district wealthy by using win dow panes as a mark on which to gain curves or control using rocks for conven- fence, and 259I other anuoyanees that bring gray hairs to the property owner and an- nilation of the bank account. make own Ing property not all 1t Is cracked up to be. Now, look at me. l am as free as bird tenants and taxes disturb me not. l can look any old tax commission In the. eye and tell him to go to-well. where tax collectors have been consigned for the past 2000 years. I can laugh at the tax assessor and all his minions. I can give the merry ha-ha to the water trust and the plumbers association, and enjoy all the privileges of most excellent water supply. But understand me ! never drink water for the reason. if you will pardon an antique witticism, l have an iron constitution, and l am afraid water might rust it.
 'I can walk along a well paved street and shady sidewalk with a carefree mind while the abutting property holder is laying awake at nighB figuring out how
 to pay his assessments. Then, again. hera am enjoying the open. free, fresh air. reclining on this sylvan bank surrounded by flowers and shrubs and shady trees | listening to the music of the birds while the poor property holder is in that crowd 1 ed court sweating under his collar, while
 Captain Allen and Captain Rogers do the
 Gaston-Alphono act in discussing proper. | ty valuations.
 | Relieve me, high sheriff if have nc 1 property have not the thousand worries l that come to him that has"
 'Doggoned if I don't believe you are l right" interrupted Christopher "of course l am right l could enumer- ate thousand other reasons--'' Never mind just-now." said Chris, who knew something of the extent of Coper's
 voumjity and vocabulary 'I must be going"
 Just moment, high sheriff." mur- mured Copernicus in his most polished | tones. T have just arrived in town and l as yet l have not had time to visit my banker. l have a sight draft on the bdnh or OtOpla TOT moderate amount Nothing doing eased out the high sheriff.
 ] 70 course not. l knew that 10 begin
 with l merely mentioned the fact in
 order to bring out a point on the alarming 1 state of the nations finances. The un-
 equal distribution of wealth has made me what l am. It will require about $75 to 1 properly tide over my stay in your beau tiful city, but for the immediate purposes ] six bits would be ample"
 Following the precedent established by the tax commissioner and the board oi
 reyenue, Chrss compromised with Cooper.
 nicus for quarter, and bade him ''sc | long"
 "So long, high sheriff, so long" mur. mured Cooper as his benefactor disap- ] peared round the curve. "On a mathe. patical division one quarter contains five
 nickels, five nickels equal five beers. five beers produce a mild collaboration that will
 be conducive to q most refreshing repose a repose that some Of those property 1 holders would give s739 to enjoy" And | Copernieus meandered toward that part of
 the town where they sell the biggest beer l for a nickel.