Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-08-28
Too Much Mother-in-Law.

Ia hloHdoLlhS dulI- 6N CII
Head"
Too Much Mother-in-Law.
I've read and heard many jokes
about "mother-in-laws," but until I
found the following story in a re-
cent newspaper | didn't believe any
one would act like Dubois. She
must have got his goat" on several
occasions. Here's the clipping:
Geneva, Aug. %: - Returning
home from work along the bank of
the Rhone, at Bellegrade, a young
mechanic named Dubois heard cries
of distress and, seeing a woman
struggling in the stream, plunged in !,
and started to tow her to safety. AS
his feet touched bottom Dubois dis
covered that he had saved his moth
er-in-law, with whom he had been on
bad terms for a long while. He
promptly threw her out into the wa
ter again and walked away swearing.
A boatman saved her.
An EventfuI Evening.
A contribution came in this morn
ing and methinks it tells a story of
the trip of some Amboyites to the
Keyport carnival. Complete, it Is as
follows:
Twas down in lear old K%eyport.
That the old crowd met one night,
To have some ~jolliication
And to turn things inside out.
There were disturbing obstacles
In hindrance Of our fun;
The jealous ones about US
Who sought to make us run.
-
But then we overlooked their case =
And continued on u way.
We bought the town and ran it
Till the dawn of the following day.
Luke" a the impressive orator
AS on the stand he climbed
I'D delivered "Cassium M. Johnsou''
In a manner we thought prime.
Then "Scutie" had to have his say.
He told the people facts
His knowledge Of medicine
Was far from being quack.
"This medicine" he said, will drive
away
The blues hat play such FRANKS
AS turning a good natured fellow
To a pessimistic crank.
To illustrate my confidence
In the product of the herb,
I'll drink the contents of this vial
And my blues it will disturb"
The people crowded about him
To get the precious stuff
That had the wonderful tendency
To make your system tough.
But alas, they could but look on,
To see the bottle raised high,
While perched upon his noble head.
Was allowed to drain quite dry.
We then removed u platform
To the confectionery up the street,
And when within proceeded
To perform some difficult feats.
The proprietor couldn't appreciate
The talent we displayed;
He then stepped out and told us
That in the wrong place we had
strayed.
Desperation drove anger
Beyond control of the brave man,
1t was noticed when we quit the
place
He was minus a candy stand.
Our next stop was the Mansion
House,
We were received quite cordially,
And allowed to deliver our speech
To a crowd filled with glee.
The cornetist tried to interrupt,
When a hat thrown at his nose,
With the accuracy of a Robin Hood,
! A bump thereon arose.
The turkey trot then led the parade,
They all put up a boiler,
But the proprietor being a good feI-
low,
Proceeded then to follow.
We roamed about; havoc was
wrought
Wherein we choosed to travel
| Until twas time to yacate
The town of the wonderful battle.
Keyport shall reign forever
First on the list of places
That allow your fun TO roll along
In harness without traces.
| We will try our last draught to the
health
Of the glorious little town
| Where we spent the long remem-
bered night
Each acting like a clown.
NOTICE.
All nersons concerned may take
notice that the subscribers. execu-
- "a DoE1r NalSpn doppa qp6 e.