davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
THE BRANDY SET.
Vanderbilt Tells q story to illustrate
Roulette Chances.

Vanderbilt Tells Story to illustrate
Roulette Chances.
Il dined with w. X. Vanderbilt, Jr,
on his return from Monte Carlo, ut
the Cafe de Paris" said California
millionaire.
"Mr. Vanderbilt declared that there
was one sure way to. get rich BY gam.
bling at Monte Carlo. That was to
build q second casino there and run
1t on the present casinos lines. He
said that in roulette playing the
chances against you were quite un.
fair. You were in the hopeless posi-
ton Of the man who made the brandy
bet.
.'This man was met by friend. who
said:
what makes you look so blue?'
Finn the man replied, has bet
me . ten-spot that he can drink .
quart Of brandy in day without
staggering
".And you look blue! Why cried
the friend-'why, man, you've got =
dead certainty. Firms bound to lose.
He can't take two drinks without stag
gering scandalous.'
"'But the duffer.' replied the other.
has taken the bottle to bed with
him."
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06

One day, while Katherine's
mother was Ill, cup Of beef tea
was prepared for her, but Katherine
fancied 1t and drank almost all Of II.
Her father was about to scold hel
when her mother said:
Never mind, il does me Just -
much good to see her drink it."
Shortly after this dose of cas-
tor oil was prepared for Katherine
and she poured it into her DOLE
mouth.
why, Katherine" said hes
astonished mother, what did you
do that for?"
That's all right" Katherine 70
piled. at will do me just as much
good IL she drinks it."
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06

london's Last Wooden Buildings.
It is announced that with the re-
moval OF row of frame buildings not
far from Blackfriars bridge, the last
wooden buildings within the metropo-
Titan district OF London win shortly
disappear.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
WelI-Trained Memory.

II do not recall anything on that
point" said the witness. "Oh, you
don't?" sneered the lawyer. You'd
better take memory lessons" Eek
cuse me-" rejoined the witness suave-
w. "but my memory has been trained
by one OF the highest-priced lawyers
In the business. - Philadelphia Public
Ledger.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
A New Basis.

II beg your pardon" he said TO
the man On the seat with him a.
the open car, "but have a feeling
that you are a military man. =
wrong, ask to be excused"
Il am not military man now"
was the answer, though / served ~
through the Civil War"
LAS an officer. presume
"Yes, sir"
"And though no longer in the So
vice, you take an interest in military
matters?"
yes, indeed"
''Then, sir, am glad to meet You
/ am simply dealer in real estate.
know nothing whatever OF war.
but l bluff q great deal For sew
eral months / have been going around
claiming that this country could lick
Japan in 80 days. Am correct sir?'
mo, sir. You are far from it"
"Could we lick her in ninety days?'
No SIR"
Might take six months, eh?"
Longer than that. Six months
would hardly get war under way"
But you, sir, as a military msA
don't mean to say that it would taxa
us whole year,"
I'll say this to you." observed The
other. 'I'll say that think 1t wouA
take Japan quite three years 10 lick
this country"
'Lordy, man you don't mean it?"
''But do"
"Whew! But suppose you know
what you are talking about Well,
see what I've got to do. I've got e
stop blowing around and make CON
plete change of base, and at the Same
time be mighty thankful that nobody
has called me an ass An the last six
months. Yes, sir, and I'm much
obliged. sir, and I get off here. sir.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Enioy Yourself.

An individual Of the Weary Willie
type was given 10 cents by q philan-
thropic lady, who said. % she handed
him the money:
Il am not giving you this because
you begged. but for my own pleasure. "
"Oh, ma'am." replied the tramp.
make it q quarter and thoroughly
enjoy yourself" Eevrybodys Maya
zine.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Mortgage on a Cat.

A mortgage on cat is not OFTEN
heard Of. However, the other day
there was filed in the recorders Of
fee chattel mortgage the considera-
ton OF which was $40. The property
on which the money was secured was
described as cat called John.
Columbus Dispatch.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
A Sponge Garden.

A beautiful effect may be obtained
by means Of damp sponge and few
seeds. Take large piece OF coarse
sponge and cut 1t in any shape de-
sired. Then soak 1t In water, squeeze
half dry and sprinkle in the openings
red clover seed, millet, barley, grass.
rice, oats any or all Of these. Hang
the sponge In q window where the
sun shines at least part OF the day.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
ri. Reward,

II wonder what they will do about
the reward for that diamond necklace
Of Bingleton's?" said Dawson. He
offered thousand dollars for the ar
rest OF the thief, and the fellow was
arrested the other night by one OF
the police dogs" There will be no
trouble about that" said the Genial
idiot. They'll give the dog . thou
sand nes.''-Harper's Weekly.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Cod Liver OH for Plants.

A woman who owns two splendid
looking plants which keep green and
vigorously though their habitat is an
apartment. says that she attributes
their good health entirely to an occa-
sional dose of cod liver oil. She has
found q large spoonful Of this medt.
cine, from time to time, better than
any OF the fertilizers usually advised,
and not more expensive.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
A Swedish Custom.

The Swedes have custom At
Christmas time Of decorating a pet
lamb with red ribbons and bells, then
loading it with gifts for the family.
The lamb is turned loose in the house,
and each person attempts to catch 1t
and find his or her gift.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
~ Eorc. Of circumstance,

Il am convinced" said the proprie-
tor OF the jewelers. shop, as the plate
glass window shivered into a million
fragments and the chauffeur and his
machine began to nestle behind the
counter, that the taxicab has come
to stay"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06

Hard to BE All Things to All Men.
! Do not think that your learning and
genius, your wit or sprightliness are
welcome everywhere. was once told
that my company was disagreeable
because I appeared SO uncommonly
happy
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
EIement 81 Danger 70 society.

Element Of Danger to Society.
The real danger to modern instftu-
hons is not in the difference in the
| size OF fortunes or that some live in
mansions and others In huts. The
real danger is that the current OF
sympathy which should circulate free
lily among the entire citizenship is OBJ
structed.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Glove Cutting.

Glove cutting is purely hand trade.
No machine could cut out glove
properly. for the simple reason that It
c0uld not distinguish between good
and bad. thick and thin. pieces OF
leather. Each piece of leather re-
quirss special treatment In shaping.
and therefore the cutting can never
ho mechanical.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Cant About Advertising,

Cant About Advertising.
There is q great deal of cant at the
present day about advertising, emit
ted by persons who are very keen to
rot all the advertisement they can.
and to get 1t for nothing If possible.
Quiet people, who really do not want
to advertise themselves. are much less
oenSorious.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
A Eoozle.

Evelyn Just met Clarence. He
Is a conversational foozle. George
How's that? Evelyn-He makes love
when he ought to play golf, and he
talks golf when he ought to make
love.-Illustrated Bits.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
cromwell's Seal.

The seal OF Oliver Cromwell. now
In the possession Of prominent fam.
lily in Wales, is a plain gold mounted
corundrum stone five-eighths OF an
inch in diameter. It dates from 1853
and was used on several of his deeds.
The whole OF the Lords Prayer Is en-
graved upon 1t.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
unsympathetIc.

Others may have said the same
thing, but this rather unsympathetic
comment is attributed to the late
Judge Hoar:: Are you going to attend
the funeral OF Gen. Butler ?" e friend
asked him. NO. was the calm re-
ply. "No, l am not goir- to attend
but heartily approve OF it."
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
For STRENGTH Of character.

For Strength Of Character.
Strength of character consists OF
two things power Of will, and power
Of self-restraint It requires two
things, therefore, for its existence
strong feelings and strong command
over them.-Frederick w. Robertson.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Fast Finger Talk.

A deaf and dumb person who II
fairly expert at finger language can
speak about forty-three words per
minute. In the same space OF time
person In possession OF speech Will
probably speak los words.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06

Thinking Ones Self Old.
II at 80 you expect to be an old man
or woman. 1t IS you will be one, be-
cause the mind makes the material
correspondence Of whatever 1t sets IT.
self permanently upon.-Health Rec
ord.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
on Her Calling List.

Mrs. Flynn had just moved into the
|neighborbood and an old friend drop
ped in for a visit And are yez on
calm terms wild yer nixt-door neigh
Dor yet?" "Indade OF am. OF called
her thafe, an she called me an
other"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
start with Hot Poker.

To take out rusty screws heat
poker red hot and hold it for a few
moments to the head of the screw.
Then use the proper sized screwdriver
Ito at the slot OF the screw-and 1t
will come out quite easily and with
very little trouble.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Uncle Jerry Thinks It's So.

IT shouldn't wonder" said Uncle
Jerry PEBBLES, "if there was some
thing in this idea that the condition OF
a mans teeth has whole lot to do
with his moral character. The big
gest liar ever knew in my life wore
. full set of false teeth"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Two Good Notices.

Lieut. Gen. Baden Powell has two
favorite notices. One is, Don't fur
~: patience wins the day" and the
other. "A smile and stick will carry
q man through almost any difficulty"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
n the Sunset Of Life.

We all find life is very short, but II
we give the last ten years OF our lives
in solving the innumerahle problems
that are around US, we shall feel the
better for it wherever we go after
ward.-Countess OF Warwick.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Not Quite Clear.

But qeuried the dear girls father,
do you earn enough to support two?"
'Two!" echoed the would.be SON.
in-iaw in surprise Say, ! only asked
for your daughter. Are you going to
try and ring her mother In on me.
tool"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
women and Mountainec rIn

Women and Mountaineering.
One Of the chief difficulties in .
woman's undertaking an expedition
In mountain climbing IL that, what.
sver her experience. every man be-
heves that he knows better what
should be done than she.--Harper'i
Magazine.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Here's candor.

II like to be complimented once In
while and enjoy being flattered,"
says the editor Of the Howard Cour-
ant, "but there's one old girl around
here making me mighty tired by
claiming me as one OF her old beaus."
Atlanta Constitution.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Efforts Not All Wasted.

A Geneva ear and throat specialist
declares that yawning Is helpful; In
fact, that 1t Is one OF the most bene-
fetal forms of exercise. Hereafter
speakers who are little shy on elo-
quence may know that at least they
do some good to their auditors.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
cettino Atonu with Peopie.

&a 6GNttuH SS'Ss'S "'s' SSP'Ss
Getting along with people is q valua
BE trait to cultivate. First OF all b.
amiable and forgiving; do not hea
III that is said. never repeat anything
and be willing to be pleased while do
ing your part.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06

New Works. Coal Consumption.
1t Is estimated by coal dealers that
the coal consumption Of New York
city in the next SIX months will be
100000 tons.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06

The Hand Behind the Fashions.
But for the inventive faculty of man
IN the matter OF feminine clothing.
how would fair woman exist or enjoy
life? asks the Drapery Times
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06

Many Post Offices In U. s.
The number Of post Offices In the
United States is nearing the $4,000
mark, although thousands have been
discontinued since rural free delivery.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Performing Lions.

It Is often supposed that lions are
drugged or surfeited with food prior
to going through their performances,
though both suggestions are wide Of
the mark. Drugs are unknown, and
from ten to fourteen pounds Of food
are given once a'day.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
n the Nature Of 4 sIur.

VI hUC tNdsutS " . S'Sis
Sir Hubert Won Herkomer says he
once saw the reproduction OF a picture
called 1.-THE Coming Storm" advertised
for sale in shop window and under
the title there were the words In large
type: Suitable for wedding pres
ant /" $500 fM# %
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
DON'T Cross the Line.

Women have need to learn the
great lesson that there IL line be-
tween essentials which, II oyerstepped.
leads to mental and physical ship-
wreck.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Fate Not to Be Avoided.

Fate is a mighty successful bill col.
lector. and you are wise in paying
your debt the minute 1t Is due. II
you wait for her to foreclose the mort
gage she always adds the interest
and costs.--John A. Rowland.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
LARGEST University.

Cairo (Egypt) has the biggest uni.
versity in the world. There are about
5000 students and 200 professors. The
chief subjects taught are Mohammedan
law and matters connected with the
Koran.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
How 20 Shell Pecans.

Pecan nuts can be shelled easily IL
the nuts are put up for few minutes
in boiling water. This will soften the
shell and make il quite possible to re-
move the meats without difficulty.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
The Root Of All Good.

In the man whose childhood has
known caresses there lies fiber Of
memory which can be touched to NO
bier Issues George Eliot
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06

One Use for the Root Of Evil.
Lyndon: Money may not be able
10 buy happiness. but 1t can buy OF
q great deal Of unhappiness.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Canada.

Canada needs only $4,000 square
miles to be as large as the whole con-
tinent Of Europe. It is nearly thirty
times as large as Great Britain and
Ireland.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06

Feminine Lack Of Logic.
Tell wife that men are selfish. she
VIII readily acquiesce. But tell that
same woman that by spelling her boyi
whether in the nursery or at school
q university she is sowing the seedi
o. egotism. she will give an emphatic
Denial.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Calls . Halt.

A well-known feminine publication
bursts forth with this self-evident
fact: I'VE are suffering from acute
verbosity. Everybody talks too much"
Hush!
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
n..4 Measurements.

By means Of extremely delicate In
struments 1t Is possible to measure
the heat transmitted to the earth by
the moon or the temperature OF the
body Of fly walking over the instru-
ment.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Modern Advice.

my dear" said fond mother
never marry man for his money
Nowadays It Ii much easier to pla,
bridge whist for it"-Detroit Free
Press.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Asklno for Wh,t one want..

Asking for What One Wants.
Young Harry is very fond OF p'..
Recently. while saying his prayers. he
gave birth to the following. "Give VI
this day our daily bread--No. piei
pie!"-Judge.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Curb Widows Expenditures.

Curb Widows Expenditures.
The Lambeth (London) Board OF
Guardians has decided that no outdoor
relief should be given to the widows
during the first six months OF widow
hood II they have spent lavishly ON
funeral and mourning any money 10
ceived from q club. insurance society
or other source.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
That Useful pIIe ~ pouoh.

That Useful Pile OF Dough.
That New York man who dropped
40 feet onto pile OF soft bread and
escaped unhurt Is not the first to be
saved by having q pile Of dough to
fall back on.-IndianapolIs News.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06

Enormous Pay Roll Of Railroads.
The pay roll OF American railroads
amounts to billion dollars q year.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
olde.t Man In tho World.

Oldest Man Ia tho World.
Jose Gaudaloupe Aleitd Of Jalosti.
tian, state Of Jalisco. Mexico, Is said
to be the oldest man in the world.
The record Of his birth as contained
in the archives OF the parish church
snews that he was born in 1770, which
n<tes him 139 years old. He 10 In
good physical condition.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Where the Blame eIones.

Man is the artificer Of his own hap
piness. Let him beware how he COM
plains Of the DISPOSITION Of circum-
stances. for It is his own disposition
he blames.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
How Il Happens.

BY following the line Of least 70
sistance good many men get mar
ried,
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
soIvino The MIX pr, >ien,

Solving the MIX Pre Hem.
Eve are thinking Of keeping COW"
said Mrs. Lapsling. "A neighbor OF
ours has big vacant lot where we
can pasteurize he-."
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Aer nearest Wlsh.

Says the woman: "Oh. that mine
enemy would let me trim hat for
her"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Tessif1es for Itself.

Emerson: The 10Y of the spirit IN.
dicates Its strength.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06
Evil Effect Of Hate.

Hawthorne: The hate we bear our
enemies Injuries their happiness less
than ours.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06

Deacon Jones saw q little girl
playing with ball on Sunday.
my little dear" he said, you are
doing wrong. The Lord knows n
and will punish you"
God knows everything, doesn't
he?" she asked innocently.
Everything, dear" replied the
deacon solemnly.
Does he know that | haven't gos
any dolly?" she asked.
OF course He does, my dear" an
swered the deacon.
"Well, THAT'S where fooled
HIM" she rried; 1--WE got Two
dollies."
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06

Women Brick Workers.
Prussla's brick yards employ nearly
10000 women.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06

Turpentlne q Preventive.
Turpentine Is best preventive for
aoths. Saturate pieces of brown pa
pr and place in boxes.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1912-02-06

My son Albert noticed lady
wearing q hohblc skirt
Mamma" lie said, 'wnat kind Of
a skirt Is that ''
THAT is the latest style" ] said:
that's hobble skirt"
why Is II so tight at the bot
TONI" asked Albert. 'Is the lazy
afraid Of catching cold?"
A little hoy ,r his first pants aud
very Proud o. them, was riding IN q
big farm wagon Coming to very
rough plac" n the road hts fashss
eallej out
Held OF tight, nor"
''I'n hold'nst"
"Wbat are you holding to-
"RAtdins % - my pants!