Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-01-25

And n railroad thai always pays.
The orator that we knew so we'll
Is clerk in q dry goods store;
While The bashfui kid that we knew
has baeu in congress 10 years or
The model boy is behind the bars
For stealing s. neighbours COW,
And YOU ask what of the tough young
nut"
Oh he is q preacher now
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.
Miss Amy Pringle, our village mil
liner. has got a new dress designed ar
ter a wall paper pattern, and there
amt a drummer h comes to this
town that don't stop. look and listen.
George Washington must have been
q Very versatile man. No two pictures
OF him look alike.
Outside of waiiin' FOR q train IT Phil
a%delphia. about the saddest occupation
l know of l,cin' in is palibearer for
some teller that died OWN you SIT.
There is nothing that viii heal 50
quickly as the backbone of an old
fashioned winter that has heen broken.
The trouble with this country today
is that there are TOO many people
writiM' musical comedies and not
enough engaged III other business SO
they can buy tickets.
Elmer Jones has got an automobile
cap and an automobile morn. q pair
of leather leggins aud q coat with a
belt around it. Il all he needs to
complete the outfit is a machine.
Miss Euphonia Perkins. who writes
the epithets for the to,nbstones in this
locality, is N of the greatest unknown
poets in this country.
Our idea Of a waste Of time is to
talk about the high cost of Twin 10 a
Teller that is in love.
Old MAJ Hicks q Y there is nothing
like striking a fair average in his life.
two in vaudeville.
1t beats all o some fellers go back
ward. Luke Tibbits. who used to be
the best pin pool player in his local
ity, has gone to work to make an hon
est living by selling cuu cleaners.
in other things. it doesn't seem as
though time or tide will ever knock out
the wing collar.
No matter how a man i'm politics
gets his money. there will always be II
few people who will say nothing, but
look mighty wise.
The hardened miscreant and culprit
who stole the clapper otT'n the fir
bell is warned to return the same at
once and avoid trouble, as his identi-
ication is knowcd to a Teller that seen
him when he done it. There amt n
u in faNin' Il fire unless every ono
kin claim that he was the first enc to
hear the bell and tell what he was
Coin when he heered it ring and how
long it took to get to the scene.
Ezra Purdy got IA Christmas pres
ents-a dozen bananas and a pair of
socks.
1 never yet see a good penn,an who
could spell worth a durl. or Il good
speller who could write so you could
read it,
There may be some small villages
that has nj City Barber shop. bu:
there amt one that hasn't got Il Pal
ace livery stable.
One thing that ! never see was an
undertaken with a red necktie.
There amt nothing i'm his world
that can create so much damage in a
short time as fer IL cat to git to lickin'
a silk hat the wrong way.
The general impression seems to be
that George Washington had at least
characteristic which would bar
him from making n1uch OF a success
es a politician in this day and age.
There are so many wciners con-
suined' nowadays that it seems as
though the country is going to the
dogs pretty fast.
Old Hi Perkins. of III town. is dis
consulate and refuses to be comforted.
He got his wife's life insured for S2s,-
600 and paid the premium five years in
advance. and new the astronomers say
the world is coming to an end in 1918.
1t seems as though the navy depart
ment ought to name one of the revenue
cutters High-cost-of-living. for there
amt nothing that cuts into a feller's
revenue more han that.
-
THE POLITICAL BANQUET.
Upon this momentous n long looked
for date.
The easy ones ante 81 q plate
To listen while various statesmen crate
And save h poor old totteriag ship OF
ship Of state
From going bro lside to its doom.
it, lucky for that they go no,
The menu is not what you might cal
The neck OF a chicken is considered
a treat.
The S%anausters just sit and shuttle
And wait for the big guns TO boom
The gay speakers table is surely .
Tor all OF the boys wear their shir,
fronts that night.
The dress suits. OF course. DO not al.
ways ut right:
The borrowed ones are o too loose
or too tight.
hut the general tone is immense.
The hours wear on slowly. they pass
round the smokes.
The toestmaster rises ut last 49, HI