Evening journal., 1912-04-17
WAKING UP A
TOWN
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1917. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

slow, the slowsst in the statef"
Yes; business seems to drop or a
little every year" was the reply.
And why are we dead and dying
here?" asked the deacon as he step
ped up on the platform beside a bar
rel of kerosene, for It was postofice
and grocery combined.
He waited till bis audience had shut
and pocketed their jackknives and
then answered his own question
Because nothing ever happens here.
Does any one die? Do we have any
funerals? Does any one ever get mar
ried? Does any one stealf Has any
one present even seen a dog fight In
the last two years7"
"No. nor
Something ought to be done. dea-
con-" suggested voice.
"And don't 1 know TT Don't we
all know itT
might call a public meeting and
resolve" was a second suggestion.
Resolve what-that we are going to
the dogs"
Our forefathers did that, and then
we licked the British"
But where's your British to HEX
now? I've been thinking this thing
over for two years. and ! hain't Lit on
a remedy yet I've got whole barrel
Of molasses in the cellar. and I'll give
1t to the critter who can wake this
town up"
The critter to do 1t was right at
hand. The deacon meant a human be-
ing. but the critter was an cid spotted
bull coming down the highway. The
crowd at the postof1ce was scratching
its head and almost tasting that mo-
lasses when the bull turned a corner
and saw his golden opportunity. He
charged with a snort and a below,
and after smashing three gates that
were swinging open he was at the
postoffice. He knocked the crowd right
and left He cleared the platform OF
barrels and boxes. AIe ran his horns
through windows.
The bull came and saw and did
things and went his way. It was a
fine beginning TO wake up a town.
None of the three doctors In IL had even
had q case Of measles In six months.
Now they had thirteen bull horned and
ball kicked victims to practice on. In
stead Of every light being out by 8
o'clock they we're burning In almost
every house at midnight
Next morning the town was early
I astir to repair damages and exchange
opinions. and no one was looking for
anything more TO happen when the old
! bull came charging again. Instead Of
being miles away he had slept Just out.
side the town to be ready for an early
call. That below was like the fall Of
brick house. There were three farm
. ers' teams on the street, early as 4
n was. To play ball with them was ful
e for the bull. He put his horns unde
- old Mrs. Baxter as she was crossing
the street to borrow an egg and tosses
y her over a fence to como down heaC
+ first in a tomato patch. He kicked
y Elder South6eld in the solar plexus anc
!, I, knocked him the length OF a black
! smith shop.
There was no loafng on the part o.
n that bull. He was at work every min
S ute Of the time. and when he finally
n quit il was because there was nothing
{ more in his line to be done. On this
occasion our stan correspondent sim
ply telegraphed
: Il have seen the dead and dying, and
: 1 have gazed on the wide wrought de
struction. and am simply overcome y
= At sundown scouts that had been
sent out reported that nothing had
f been seen of the bull. and it was be-
S lieved that he had retired to some
place where the rates were not toe
high to commit suicide There was
great felicitauon and an attempt to dc
business, but the old bull had fooled
'em. With the same old below, same
. horns. same tail. he came charging in
= for the third time. He was willing tC
X work overtime without extra pay
n They had axes and clubs and crowbar:
S and guns ready for him this time, but
they knew him not
2. Abner Goodhue and his wife wer.
u going to prayer meeting. Over fence
II they went instead Aaron LittlehelC
and his mother-in-lav were going t
= sit up with one of the injured on thu
. first charge. Aaron saved himself bl
; climbing locust tree. but the woman
was kicked in the head and neve
d spoke again. though she lived on TO
twenty years.
D. There were score more cases lik'
& the above. but our stan correspondent
e didn't particularize. He couldn't. hi
emotions were too great. He had &
simply say:
= my grandfather was at Gettysburg
5 but he saw nothing like this. simpl
/ stand appalled, and ask myself who
r. who"
/ If you should enter that town toda
a you would find $4,000 population 4
: place of 1000 You would find a brio
s. postoflce with lot Of old men sittin
around. and one of them would be like
II ~ to ask:
lo Deacon Singer, wasn't there a tim
NJ in the Aistory of Beverly when sh
sorter stood still?"
* And the answer would be:
ID There was. sir"
1t "And then the snow shovel factor
p came to give her an impetusT'
of Snow shovel factory be burned!
$ was an old spotted .bnll. and we orte
y have a bronze statue Of him on ever
- street cornerr'
v Hnl-Miss Blanche Davis. of Ruthb,