davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1912-03-30
THE QUIET HARVEST.

( Along the street are sounds Of fife
and drum,
And, 10, tho people shout that ,
( strength is come!
: But mightier far, tho trumpeted
( the less, ,
Is strength that walks in ways Of
quietness.
( The music fades, the luster dis
appears
Into the mist Of long forgotten
years, ,
And scarce the echo lives q mo- ,
ment's span
In tho impuIsive consciousness of ,
man.
But, while in dust the pomp and /,
pageant roll,
K Tho quiet harvest of an earnest
{ Shall stand forever, needless Of ,
< decay
: And grow moro perfect to the
perfect day.
( Pail Mall Gazette.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1912-03-30
ALL ELECTRIC TRAINS

That within twenty-five years cleo
triclty will entirely supplant steam in
locomotives on all railroads Of the
country was the recent declaration of
President +. p. Ripley Of the Santa
Fe Railway company.
1T seems probable" he said, "espe-
cially in view of the remarkable evo-
luton Of the application Of electricity
during the last few years, that the
next generation viii see electricity
used as motive power Of all trains,
freight as well as passenger and
transcontinental as we'll as local."
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1912-03-30

Representative Frank Clark, Who De-
manded Florida Everglades Inquiry.
eral authorities. advertised extensive
ly throughout the United States and,
1t Is commended. collected millions of
dollars for lands obtained at 80 cents
an acre and sold as high as $50 an
acre which are now covered with
from ten to twenty feet Of water,
which will not be drained for many
years II ever and the ultimate value
Of which is doubtful.
WATERLOO CENTENARY
The committee formed under the
presidency of General Baron de Heusch
TO arrange for the celebration on June
is. 1915, of the centenary of the battle
of Waterloo decided on the construc-
ton of n mausoleum at Plancenoit or
Braine PAlleud. The memorial. ac-
cording to a design submitted for inal
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1912-03-30
UNpERWoop's STATE

April / is Democratic presidential
primary day in Alabama, and April 1G
is Democratic state convention day,
when delegates to the national con-
vention will be selected. Alabama is
Oscar w. Underwood's home state, and
when Mr.. Underwood was listed among
presidential aspirants his Alabama fol-
lowing promised to make things hum
for him at convention time.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1912-03-30

A YOUNG man stood with his hand
~ on the latch of house in the
~ country. admired the cheerful
amman, moo Of tho p1ona fhnu
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03

points The Liverpool market was slight
" better than expected but the weather
map was very favorable, no rain being
shown in the cotton belt, while tempera-
lures were fairly high. This caused some
little short selling. The census bureau
report on ginning OF 100000 bales was
Just about what the trade was looking
for. The fact that the figures were over
the 1000. 900 mark encouraged short SELL
ing to a very moderate extent At the
end of the first half hour of business.
prices were to 10 points under yester-
days close.
The market had a tendency to sag
throughout the morning session The
condition report Of ee.6, issued at II
o'clock. was not far from the average
expectation but still It filed conserva-
tive bearish predictions Just as the gin
ming figures did. After the two reports
were out of the way. considerable fresh
short selling was encouraged. Talk of
war in the Balkans caused longs to
lidu;date- At one time the rumef- was
spread that war had actually been de-
clared. At noon the trading months
were II to 20 points under yesterdays
close.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
= . = . q . . = q q O
YESTERDAYS WEATHER,

Furnished by the local ONCE. wealth
er bureeu, United States department
OF agriculture under TIE direction of
Willis J.. Moore, chief OF bureau,
Washington, .. c.
PenssooIs's Temperature Data.
Highest on record for October. sS
degrees.
Lowest on record for October IS
degrees.
Average Of the highest daily tenn
peratures for October II degrees.
Average Of the lowest daily temper
atures for October, so degrees.
Highest temperature yesterday. rs
degrees.
Lowest temperature yesterday morn
ing, 20 degrees.
Pensacola's Rainfall Data.
Normal rainfall for the month OF
October, 4.0S inches.
Total rainfall this October TO p.
m, 0 inches.
Total excess January 1st to Septem-
Der Both, 1888 inches.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
STOCK MARKET
CLOSESHEAVY

New York. Oct. 2.-Extensive selling Of
stocks for London and local interests
caused market recessions in the opening
dealings on the stock exchange here to-
day. Loss of to 2 points were sustained
by such issues as the Hill and Hartman
stocks, Canadian Pacific. the Coalers and
various specialties. first dealings In
Steel comprised 5000 shares at rs IA
and rs 3-S as against 79 at yesterdays
close.
Buying orders were met on the decline
and the list made up a considerable por-
ton of it's losses. The recovery was
assisted by heavy accumulation of st.
Paul, which rose a point.
The market became heavy again at
midday recurrent foreign selling. st.
Paul and Canadian Pacific were most ar
fected, the general list receding to below
yesterdays closing.
Further unsettlement was shown in
the late afternoon with renewed pressure
upon Steel and some other leaders, in
GLIDING Union Pacific, st. Paul and Read
ing Money rates relaxed but the ten
dency was firm.
The market closed heavy Short cover
ing caused slight hardening Of prices
In the last hour, but the tone continued
feverish on renewed operations.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
COTTON MARKET
CLOSES QUIET

New York, Oct Cotton futures
opened steady at a decline Of 4 to Z
points and sold 9 to IL points net lower
right after the call under renewed nqui-
dalton caused by lower Liverpool cables,
a heavier ginning to September % than
expected, q favorable view of weat her
conditions in the south and talk of war
in the Balkans.
Spots were buyers on the break to II. OF
for January, however, and the market
later rallied or points from the lowest
There was considerable local selling but
the pressure Of long cotton was not par
ticularly active and there was probably
some buying in anticipation Of the rally
before the publication Of the condition
report at midday
Trading became little more active
just before midday anc the market rail-
lied to a net gain of or points on the
active months as a result Of covering.
The government report making the con-
dition of the crop 6s.6 per cent proved a
little better than expected, however, and
prices Immediately sold off 10 or II points
from the best under liquidation and local
bear pressure.
Stop orders were uncovered on the
break after the government report was
published and prices sold off to a net loss
Of 25 to 81 points on the active months
Covering checked the decline and caused
rally of 10 or Il points during the mid
die of the afternoon.
Cotton spot closed quiet; middIing up
lands. 1125; middling gulf, 11.5o Sales
none.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
SAFETY BOARD
MEETS TONIGHT
FIRST REGULAR SESSION FOR
THE MONTH OF OCTOBER WILL
BE HELD IN THE OFFICE OF
THE CITY CLERK AT 1880 p. M.

Tonight at 1880 O'Clock the first
regular meeting Of the board Of pub
lie safety for the month Of October
will be held in the Office of the city
clerk, at which time a considerable
amount of routine business will be
disposed of, although there is nothing
special to come before the meeting,
so far as is known.
No charges against any members
of either the police or fire departments
have so far been filed with the city
clerk and it is not thought that there
will be any trials at this meeting.
Among the matters to come before
the board will be the reports Of the
officers under its jurisdiction, the
reading Of communications addressed
to the board and the approving Of the
bills and payrolls.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
GIANTS READY
FOR BIG SERIES
mSeAw AND mATHEwsoN GO
I PHILADELPHIA TO WATCH
RED sox WORK.

New York, Oct. 2.--The Giants ~
day made their final public annaar-
ance on home grounds before tie
opening OF the worlds series here next
Tuesday. --e.0 neal
After today's game. clearing mn the
Pniiaoelpnla series, the national
league champions will cross the river
10 Broeklyn to wind up the season in
tnsee game series. The only ac-
uvity at the Polo grounds before
Tuesoay VIII be an exhibition game
between the Giants and the New York
americans on Monday for the enter
falnment of the sailors who are here
with the vanguard of the Atlantic
fleet.
It Is understood that Manager Nc
Graw and Christy Mathewson. the
mainstay of the Giants pitching staff.
viii spend the remainder of the week
IN Philadelphia sizing up the Boston
Americans. whom the Giants meet In
the world series.
The art of combining baseball play
fag with journalism promises to be
more highly developed In the forth !.
cpn1ing world series than ever before.
) practically all of the star PLAYERS
ave been engaged by newspapers to
give the public inside information as
70 just how the games were won or
lost Tesreau, Mathewson, Marauard,
Meyers, Herzog and Doyle are con-
spicuous among those who will turn
newspaper reporters after they have
finished their days work on the dia-
mend.
IN addition. more than a score of
well known baseball players will sit
with the newspaper workers as critics
Of the game.
reporter who canvassed brokerage
houses which have Boston connections
said that about $4,000 had been wag
cred at odds Of to In the last few
days by those who believe that the
Red Sox will win the series It is evil
dent that Boston enthusiasts intend to
come down to New York for the first
game in droves. The New York club
has received a request from Mayor
Fitzgerald Of Boston for three hun
dred seats for the opening game, and
II is understood that the mayor in :
tends to lead a band of Red Sox
footers.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
THE FUNERAL OF
THOS. PETERSON
SERVICES OVER REMAINS OF
DROWNED SAILOR WERE CON-
QUOTED YESTERDAY MORNING
FROM UNDERTAKING PARLoRs
OF r. r. POU.

Funeral services over the remains
of Thomas Peterson, the first mate on
the Norwegian steamship Frances
Hagerup, whose body was found float
ing in the slip between Communicates
and Tarragona street wharves Tues
day afternoon, were conducted yes
terday morning from the undertaking
parlors Of F. r. Pou.
The funeral services were conducted
by Rev. Mr.. Struck, of the Scandi-
navian church, and interment was
made in St Johns cemetery imme-
diateiy after the funeral services were
conducted.
When his body was found, Peterson
had been missing since Sunday night
and the police had been searching for
him. 1t is supposed that he fell over
board and was drowned.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
CHICAGO GRAIN
AND PROVISIONS

Chicago. Oct. 2.-Rumors that the Bull
garian army had crossed the Turkish
frontier caused wheat to advance. There
were reports from Liverpool that the
continent was bidding freely for cargoes
on passage. The market opened Is to
1-4Q3-S to 1-2c higher. December started
at 80 7-S to 1891 1-Sc, a gain of IA to
3-S@1-2c, touched 80 3-4@7-Sc and rose
to 81 lac
Corn armed with wheat December
opened 1-S@1-4 to 1-4G3- up at 80 SIS
to 50 3-4c and steadied at SO 1-205-Sc.
Scantiness of pit oats had a bullish ef-
feet. December started Is to lac
higher at 81 rs to 32c and held around
81 3-4Q7-sc.
An upturn for provisions resulted
from an advance in hog prices and owing
to big decreased stock of packing house
products here. First sales were 2 IL to
10c higher with January $3.50 to $1S.55
for pork: S10.65 to $10.671a for lard, and
$50 @s.s21s TO 1895 for ribs.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03

tors, so no man would have- to bear
too heavy burden"
Senator Paynter asked what con-
nection Ormsby McHarg had with the
campaign. Senator Dixon was unable
to give McHarg's activity in detail.
Did you send any money to the
southern states?" asked Paynter.
Yes he replied. Not a great deal
of money went to the southern states.
however. I think / sent $1,000 to
North Carolina, about $1,000 to Geor-
gia, $500 or $500 to South Carolina to
aid in organizing the Roosevelt forces
and holding the conventions in the
southern states"
who told you of the large sums
spent for President Taft?" asked Sem
ator Pomerene.
"oh I heard it from a hundred
sources" said Dixon.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
Cleared.
VESSELS IN PORT.
Staamshina.

Steamship
Boldwell, Br, Humby, 1907. to South
Atlantic Steamship Co.
Trapea, Br. Bartlett. 3054, to Gulf
Transit Co.
santarn, Br, Kinds, 1880. to Gulf
Transit Co.
Lord Roberts, Br Boa1, 1858, to
Munson Steamship Line
Castle Eden, Br. LAing, 1241, to J..
A. MERIT & Co.
Meltonian. Br. Parker, 4066, to J. A.
Merritt g. Co.
Kish, Br, Robertson, 314s, to Gulf
Transit Co.
strathyre, Br, Nicol. so12, to ]. A.
Merritt & Co.
Ships.
Gantock Rock. Nor, Osterhaus, to
master. Ooading at St Andrews
Glenlui, Nor. Haeversen, 1915, to
master.
Protector. Nor. Erickson. 1887. to
master.
Andreta, Ital. Morchie, 1919, to Ro-
sasco Bros.
Shakespeare, Nor, Cundersen. 794,
bay).
Gudron, Nor, skoar, 1S45, to master.
Deka, Nor, Johnson, 1881, to master.
Nordstern, Nor. Madsen, 1880, to
master.
Miranda, Nor blk. Meian, 1882. to
master.
Formosa. Nor, to FIR. julius Schreyer.
Schooncrs.
Doris, Am, Peterson, 80, Havana to
John A. Merritt & Co.
Donna Christina, Am, Peterson, 165
to J. A. Merritt & Co.
Hieronymus, Br. Somerville, AIT, to
]. A. Merritt & Co.
D. j. Sawyer, Am, Sanderson, 2ss, to
ma steT
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
Saved Ry His Wife.

She's a wise woman who knows Just
what to do when her husbands life is
in danger, but Mrs. r. ]. Flint. Brain
tree, VT, IL Of that kind. she insist
ed on my using Or. Kings New Dis
covery," writes Mr.. p, for a dreadful
cough, when was so weak my friends
all thought I had only a short time TO
live, and it completely cured me" a
quick cure for coughs and colds. It's
the most safe and reliable medicine
for many throat and lung troubles
grip, bronchitis, Group, whooping
cough, quincy, tonsilitis, hernorrhages
A trial will convince you. bOc and
S1.00. Guaranteed by W. A. D'Alen-
berte.
(kdvertisenent1
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
JOHN N GRAW
KEEPING QUIET
WILL NOT BE KNOWN WHO WILL
PITCH UNTIL FIRST GAME OF
SERIES is CALLED.

New York. Oct. Until a few
minutes before the opening of the
worlds series here. nobody will know
Manager McGraw's choice for pitcher
in the first game. McGraw's present
plan Is to delay his selection until al
most the last moment. Most of the
New York players believe the final
choice will be Mathewson, who is in
good condition and is conceded to be
the steadiest> pitcher on the team.
Tesreau Is likely to be held in re-
serve because of his lack of expert
ence. In spite of Marquard's bad
showing yesterday. the big left hand :
er is said to be rounding into his best
form, but McGraw has nothing to say
on this point.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
Liverpool Markets.

LIVERPOOL Oct, Cotton IN Increased
demand prices easier. American middling
fair, 6.94; good middling, 6.72: middling,
SAG; low middling. 6.26; good ordinary,
5.T4: ordinary, SIS.
Sales $4,000 bales. of which 500 were
for speculation and export, and included
10000 American.
Receipts 1000 bales, no American
Futures opened quiet and steady and
closed easy.
October, 6.13; October November
6091a: November December, December
January, 6.04; January-February, 6.0515:
February March 6.67; March-April
s.0S1z: April-Msy, $685.: May-June, June
July. e101s; July-August, $40.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
TRANSFERS OF
REAL ESTATE

Daily Report Title GUARANTEES Company,
Oct. 2, 1e12.-Deeds.
r. s. Namely trustee by attorney to
Leslie E. Brooks trustee, block 1874, New
City.
r. P. Reese trustee to Rebecca LASH
ter ct al, 81 and other considerations.
Lot 8, except 80 feet by 80 feet and west
is feet, lot 2, In block 90, East King
Tract
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
A Queer Sin.

The Duke or Wellington once made
queer slip during a house OF lords
debate on Ireland. In the course OF
his speech he mentioned that two
clergymen had been murdered in Ire
land
A noble lord ON the other side of the
house rose at once 20 correct him.
mo, no; only one
"Only one?" reJoined the duke.
''well, II I am mistaken I am sorry."
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
HARBOR AND
MARINE NEWS
Arrived.

Arrived.
Boldwell Br IS, Humby, 2207, Bris-
toll to South Atlantic Steamship Co.
Trapea, Br ss, Bartlett. 1854, Bruins
wick to Gulf Transit Co.
Cleared,
Golden Rod, Br bl1tn, Bodden, $50.
for Havana. with 438,000 # lumber.
INDIAN, Br ss, Dickinson, 1921, for
Rotterdam, with $4,000 IT lumber.
1850 tons of coal
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
STORES
MARKET FIRM

Savannah, Oct 1.-The spirits of tur-
pentine market opened this morning at
SO IA to 3S IL. with no sales. The close
was firm at SO Ia to 3S IL, with sales
of 6S6 casks. Receipts were 663 casks,
shipments 296 casks and stocks of 37,18S
casks.
The rosin market opened and closed
firm. Sales We're 2433 barrels, receipts
1891 barrels, shipments 1886 barrels and
stocks of 101, 042 barrels.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
Ckdvertisement)

Blobbs--why do those two girls
both hate you go?
Slobbs--I once innocently remarked
that they looked alike.-Pailadelphia
Record.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03

When you have bad cold you want
the best medicine obtainable so as to
cure 1t with as little delay as possible.
Here is druggists opinion: IT
have sold Chamberlain's Cough Rem
edy for fifteen years." says Enos Lol-
lar of Saratoga, Ind, "and consider it
the best on the market" For sale by
all dealers.
advertisement
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
WEST VIRGINIA TROOPS
ARE RETURNING HOME

Charleston, w. Va, Oct. 2.-Six
companies of West Virginia militia
men in the Cabin Creek and Paint
Creek coal districts broke camp this
morning and returned to private life
after being in the field because Of the
miners strike since July 49, Other
troops will be Withdrawn Saturday.
reports from Boomer, W. Va, where
efforts are under way to have foreign
miners surrender their rifles, were to
the effect this morning that about
200 modern guns had been turned
n to the committee and leaders of the
Italians had promised that all arms
would be given up. Military authori-
ties here are inclined to view the
situation as greatly improved.
SUGAR is REDUCED.
New York, Oct 2.-Al grades of re-
fned sugar were reduced 10 cents per
hundred pounds today.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
Pensacola Cotton Market.

The following report is furnished daily
for The Pensacola Journal by Harris,
Allison & Co., Cotton Merchants, Pen
Sacola, Florida;
Good Middling .................11 3-15
Strict Middling ........-...........1 IL 1-16
Middling $500. .-.... ........ 10 7-8
Strict Low Middling .............. 10 Ia
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03

New York 1. Philadelphia
Chicago s, Pittsburg 5.
Boston 81, Brooklyn 2-6.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
GAMES TO-DAY.
National LEAGUE.
American Leaoua,

New York at Brooklyn.
Philadelphia at Boston.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
National leaoua,

Detroit 5, Chicago s.
st. Louis 2. Cleveland 4.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
New Orleans Futures.

New Orleans, Oct Cotton futures
opened steady at d decline Of to s
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03

Boston at Philadelphia.
Washington at New York.
Cleveland at st. Louis.
Chicago at Detroit.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03

IF you miss your paper,
phone (1500) before ten
o'clock, and one will be de-
livered you by special carrier.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
American League.
American Leauue

RESULTS YESTERDAY.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1912-10-03
Cleveland Beats St. Louis;
Chicago Defeats Detroit

r. H E.
81. Louis '............---.' 2
SIONGldAu ....ss-. ~. =
Batteries: Hamilton, Allison and
Alexander; Banding and O'Neill. I'm :
pires. Connolly and O'Brien.
Others not scheduled.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-12-27
BAND OF EXPERT
 JEWEL THIEVES
 WORK NEW YORK

New York. Dec. 27-That a band of expert jewel thieves is operating in this city rwas the belief of the police, today, following the report that Miss Frances Barnes, daughter of the late A. s. Barnes, publisher, had been rob bed of Jewels valued at $10,0 900 Two other families living at the hotel also reported the theft of jewelry and it was said the total theft was over $20, 900.
 The robbery of Miss Barnes, who is a frequent exhibitor at the horse show and well known in society, was mys- terious. She says the jewels were talk from her room while she was rid ing in Central Park and the police are working on the theory that a band of experts with duplicate keys, is op- els, according to Miss Barnes, were kept in a secret drawer in a dresser and the keys in still another drawer which was locked.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-12-27
PADS AND FASHIONS

Beautiful sets of natural red fox, with their dangling legs and tails, look as if their fair wearers had just returned from the chase.
 The Turkish blouse seen on after noon gowns is made of a darker ma terial than the fancy mouese1tne dress. and edged with fur.
 Some of the new Russian tunics are scalloped around the bottom and bordered with. fur The full sleeves are gathered fin at the wrists.
 A charming Russian tunic coat is of green and gold brocaded tissue with sable fur border. The skirt to this is of black with a train.
 Broadtail is being used by the wealthy for long wraps. for hats, for handbags and for entire suits. The suits are necessarily very simple.
 The al1-white skating costumes worn by the best dressed children abroad are charmingly finished by a colored wool rose on huff and scarf.
 There Is a strong trend toward the trimmed tailored suit-some people even prophecy that by spring the plain suit will be a thing of the past.
 The long Moujik blouse is a capti- vatfng fashion when worn by a woman who is tall and extremely slender Sometimes it is made of brocaded velour.
 Some enchanting new slippers are of brocades and tissues stamped with old fashioned chintz patterns-even tropical birds and gay-colored fruits
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-12-27
Wiuinn to Trada.


 Uncle Nose was a chronic thief, who usually managed to keep within the petty larceny limit. One time he nis- calculated, however, and was sent to trial on charge of grand larceny.
 Have you a lawyer, Mose7' asked the court.
 "No, sah.'
 Well, to be perfectly fair I'll ap- point a couple. Mir. Jones and MT. Brown will act as counsel
 Whats dat?"
 "Act as your lawyers, Consult with them and prepare to tell me whether you are guilty or not guilty
 ''Yes, sah-''
 Nose talked to his attorneys for a few moments in husky whispers. The judge caught only the several times repeated word aIibi. Then Nose arose, scratched his head and addressed the court.
 'tJedge, yoh honah," he said, "eOu'ss I's only an ign'ant n5ggah an An don want toh bothah yoh horfah, but An would suttinly like toh trade, yoh honah, one ob desc yeah lawyahs foh a wftness''-Kansas City Journal.