Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-11-28
Colonel Ed Gather Delivers an
Exhaustive Address On
Beauty,
COL. WALTER KELLY'S JOKE.
Discussion on Differences Be-
tween Col. Roosevelt and
Col. Bill Howell.

Another enthusiastic meeting of
the Bald Headed Club was held Sat-
urday night on the roof garden of
the PeEnyroyal Building and despite
the fact that the night was little
frosty there was a warm discussion.
The moon and the brilliant intelIects
Of the members furnished the light.
Ir1"I see," said Col. Ed Gather, as
soon as he could get the floor. that
Edna Goodrich. the actress, is out in
magazine article in which she says
beauty is disadvantage. I do not
agree with Miss Goodrich, or rather
with Mrs. whoever she is this year.
don't remember the name of her
Flast husband and so will continue to-
call her Edna. have never expert
enced any disadvantage from my
personal pulehritude. On the con-
trary it has brought me much fem
mime admiration. Along the same line
Rene Bache has started a crusade
against beauty cosmetics and is try
ind to stop their sale. Now this is
all wrong People ought to be
beautiful and if there is anything in
the market to help them be pretty /
think it ought to be sold and sold
real cheap. Suppose everybody
in town looked like Aubrey Tuggle,
Bud Guynn. Guy Startling or some
body else who persists in wearing
hair that is just apt as not to be red.
Every woman who passes through
town would go in turkey trot. No
wonder the hirsute wonders have
never married. No, what we want
is beauty and plenty of it and if
man has head on him like Col. Joe
Twyman or Col. Bill Tibbs the less
of it that is covered up with hair the
better. No, Mr.. President. do not
agree with Edna. l prefer to be
pretty and would not for all the
Wealth of tie Klondike consent to
look like Col Geo. Gary or Col Bill
Wilgus, who have never seemed to
care whether they we're beautiful or
not.
A discussion was then started on
the recent election, in which many
of the members Joined. 1t was
brought on by Col. Walter Kelly,
who propounded conundrum and
answered it himself:
Whats the difference between
Champ Clark's houn dawg that dis
appeared last summer and Bill Taft's
sick elephant? One is a houn in
doubt and the other is down and
out"
Speaking of the election, what
is the difference between Col T ddy
Roosevelt and Col. Bill Howell"
asked Col. Bill Cooper. Col. Howell
swelled with pride said there really
wasn't much difference. in fact the
dissimilarity was hardly worth
mentioning except that Teddy had
better teeth than he did.
Col. Walter Radford said that ore
difference was that Col. Roosevelt
carried his speech in his pocket,
while Col. Howell carried his in his
head. This caused Col. Howell to
look pleased. Col Bob Woodbridge
said one difference he noted was
that Teddy was shot while Bill was
only half shot.
This caused COL Howell 10 make 4
hostile movement towsrdlCol Woo :. /;
bridge. but they were noe allowed
TO get together. 40
Col. Lem Mckee said one was a
Bull Moose and the other a Full
Goose, hal bal
President Chemplin cautioned the
members nos q esl personal In their
re.narks aqa ordered the subject
" sss' !" said cSlDAa Bin ribb..
y !. ICnnijnucd "a En.r/| n ~