Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-07

~ II 'NN " OSSii SOMIl L ~
-! ! ! : ;! ! 81 : !: s 5: =: :: s.; s.: - !; J; !:
XM WaShington's bed.
~> @Jlk 1t is not Il COM
NMA a lNT1 Portable looking
eoSt coULIM least. and after
looking it over |
no not Wonder that George couldn't lie
l saw a large number of other inter
sstihg fellcs while at Mount Vernon.
teachers from New Hampshire, who
We're there taking in the sights. / saw
George Washington's cane. George
M~ashlngton's uniform and George
W~ashlnston's andirons, but when u
rolored gentleman showed me George
W~ashington's telephone and tried to
sell 1T TO me for $27, l balked. There
is a limit e to the susceptibility of
a greenhorn from the north. George
Washington never had a telephone.
ana ! Know it, for if he had he would
simply nave been obliged to lie once
IN a while. when Martha got to calling
him up at his office.
mere may be some people. chiefly
among the politicians. who have never
heard of George Washington and his
one most amous characteristic, but
let me tell you, he is some hero around
in this locality. Besides playing the
star part i'm all modern orations he
was the fathcr of his country. Some
people have disputed this and have
tried to prove that the father of his
stick to George. l simply have to.
for the other half of my sketch is a
member of the d. A. r.
George must have been very busy
In his day and generation. About
Was done by him, and that is probably
where the phrase originated: Let
George do it," At least this was the
speculation of a drummer for a patent
mousetrap concern who was a MEM
Der of u r~ubberneck party. When
costed AN aged colored man and
asked:
Whose place is this?"
"Marse George Washington's sah.'
rs he here?'
"Oh, no. sab. Ain ye-all evah heerd
Here the mousetrap drummer tried
to ring i'm the ancient vaudeville gag.
Yes, you've guessed it. all right. He
was going to say that he hadn't heard
that George Washington had been
sick, but he didn't have a chance, for
the darkey continues:
Mas. sub. he done been dieded a
long time ago. | was right in de room
at de time"
Were you n of the vast army of
personal body servant who used to
care for General Washington?" we
asked suspiciously.
Vas, sub. l was the only one he
evah had. All de rest am limitations
an am stealth mai thundah. All
shall s%uttinly nevah forget NIarse
Georges las words to me. He said
to me: 'Ephralm. jes' We remembah
dls yere. Don't We evan tell no lie,'
an homes to goodness. boss. All aim
nevall tell no lie f'om dat day to dis"
about how old are you, Uncle
Eph?"
All will be jes' 81 vars old de
coming spring."
"And You We're in the room when
the general passed aWayo"
"Ah sho' was, right dar.'
"But Washington died in 1893. about
10 years before you were born
KANT help that, boss. If dat am
de case All sutt1nly mus have been
bo,n ag1n. Marse George, he done
tot me nevah to tell no lie am l amt
evan done toll one Wit, nohow."
s2.s5. e'''e'''o" amounted 10
Mount Vernon looks Just like all of
the pictures of it. 1t takes a re-
markedly good photograph, and has
posed about as frequently as any other
exception of Niagara Falls and Lydia
Pinkham.
Why so many United States sena-
tors die or retire poor has peer re-
vealed to me at last. I took lunch in
the Senate restaurant today. Enough
said. i had to borrow IS from one
of the congressman to do it.
1t seems to me that most of the
young people in this country must be
getting married at the present time
and are all coming to Washington ON
their honeymoons. The oogle-google
unc around this hotel jam the cor
is no room for a gentleman who is
travelling alone. was kissed nine
times by mistake by excited brides
while trying to crowd into the grill.
This is no place for a minister's son.
THE UNITED STATES SENATE.
Washington. Feb. 10.-Dear Editor:
The United States Senate is Il small
body of statesmen entirely urrounded
by ice. If Eliza had ever tried to get
across the Senate with her child in her
arms the b~loodhounds would have got
her. n a good story would have been
spoiled. Perry n cook never tried
TO explore the Senate. If they had, it
would nav been polar exploration
worth while. / put on an extra union
suit. fuzzy side in. and wore my over
coat and earmuffs, but couldn't stand
the frigid atmosphere more than six
minute at a time. One stranger who
stayed in 10 minutes rushed back into
the press rooms with his nose frozen
and his ears turning black.
Dignity is the keynote of the SENATOR
on it during the whole piece. The
Senate is SO digniied that it is in dam
ger of falling over backward, and it
does, sometimes, especially when a