Yerington times. [volume] (Yerington, Nev.) 1907-1932, 1912-05-25
UNCLE EDS STORIES

One day last week, after we had
concluded a conference with Senator
Barney Reymers, Charlie Gallagher,
George Webster and few other
prominent Republicans, relative to the
cat and dog contest between Taft and
Roosevelt for the presidential nomi-
nation. all were Ell route with these
gentlemen to the Pioneer Stables,
where Salty" Snyder wanted to take
the party in his handsome new Buick
through the principal parts of our
beautiful little city. and incidentally
show them the sights at Mason.
Uncle Eb. put in an appearance, stat
ing that he wished to see us at the
Times office, with such audacity as to
cause us to cancel our engagement
with aforesaid gentlemen. and accom-
pany Mr.. Blossom to the Office of the
Times.
Upon arriving at that beehive OF
intellectual and mechanical activity,
we pushed aside several double col
umn and two whole page advertisers
and journalictic advisers and gave our
venerable friend the best cushioned(O
chair in the office and good ive-cent
cigar OF our special blend, that would
make Deputy Sheriff Pohe green with
envy Then we gave him our choicest
anticipating look, used only when we
suspect that subscriber is going to
pay for his paper year in advance,
when he said
Fairbanks. if you will give me
some writing material and place to
write, | will contribute few lines to
help fill up the columns of your pa
per-"
We dug up some finest bond and
one of our best lead pencils, which by
the way, we we bought at B. for the
old gent. who soon dashed off the fol
lowing, regardless of the buzz of the
linotype and the clang and clatter of
the big press, with as much ease as
would Horace Greeley or Theodore
Roosevelt
ITO the Public"
when we see a man strutting
around in a sponged celluloid collar
? for IS at Foxes-and neatly pressed
clothes. that look just like new after
the leave the "Pantitorium." we are
impressed with the belief that such 4
person enjoys joke now and then, a
good story told in an interesting man
ner.
Laugh and the world thinks you're
silly,
Weep. and they know you are
Little funnes as told by local tai
ent:
Mason Mcleod enjoys telling the
following:
\ man in the South was saved from
conviction for DEMONSTRATING by the
powerful plea of his lawyer After his
acquittal by the jury, his lawyer
asked
Honor bright, Ike; you did steal
that horse. didn't YOU"
Now, look -a-here, boss" said Ike.
Il alters did think stole that boss,
but since hearn your speech to that
ere jury, I'll be doggone if | amt got
my doubts about it.
If you can depend upon what they
hear the following is Judge Hausers
favorite:
A woman was testifying in behalf of
her son, and swore that he had work
ed on the farm ever since he was
born"
The lawyer who cross-examined
her, said
You assert that your son has
worked on the farm ever since he was
born?'
Il do"
What did he do the first year,"
ale MIXED"
Here is one that McTaggart and
Dune Mckenzie can tell in manner
that will make you laugh and take the
shine off your shoes concerning wit
ness who answered as the lawyer
asked
do you know the prisoner wcll?"
asked the attorney.
Il never knew him sick, replied the
witness.
NO levity.' said the lawyer stern
ly, Nov, sir, did you ever see the
prisoner at the barr"
,EnnIreIs Of times sir. ,uhN I've