New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-11-19
TALKS ON DIVORCE
"T0o Much Concentration on 2
Points of 3-COrnered Figure"
THE CHILD Is THE THIRD
Marriage and the Family Dis
cussed Before Women of Eth
ical Culture Society.

THE great flaw in the modern attitude
toward marriage and divorce" said DR..
Felix Adler in his talk before the women s
conference at the meeting house of the
Ethical Culture Society, No. West 64th
street, yesterday. 'the thing which makes
much of our discussion OF It false, is
that vision is concentrated upon two
points Of three-cornered figure.
ut is He anc T. Can / be happy with
her?' Can l get along with him" But
there is third part to be considered. and
X seems to ME that instead OF saying
that IT is unholy to live with a man
after love has ceased men and women
should rather consider the question with
reference to the chlld's right to love and
care"
DR.. Adler prefaced his talk by saying
that he would deal not so much with d.
vorce as with the state Of mind which
leads intelligent and. apparently. refined
women to say, as have heard them say.
that they believe in marriage on short
tenure-experimental marriage.
There is undeniably a desire on the
part of many women 10 get loose from
any tie which prevents them from being
independent personalities" he went on.
The higher education of women has
something to do with this; so has the
so-called women's movement-w1th which,
by the way, am In profound sympathy,
even. or rather especially. in its political
aspects.
Nevertheless. this tends for the time to
make women revolt against entering a
door where they are free to go In but
not free to go out and In spite Of the
shocking increase in divorce that is still
the normal assumption regarding marri-
age in most homes.
"One great modern heresy is that the
state can take care OF the child. We talk
in an offhand way of great public asy-
lums for the care of children. Much is
said about what scientific experts can do
with children, but while IL is true that
parents cannot take the place OF scien-
tihc experts. they cannot take the par
ents' place.
Il believe heartily in the scientific ex-
pert in kindergarten and school, but back
OF these must be the parents, the home
life, to give the child that nest in the
heart to which every child has a right.
I'VE humans are the torchbearers or
the mind. We must die, but the race
goes on. Consciously or not, the thing
which lies back Of the best sort of mar
riage Is the desire to choose the mate
whose qualities one would wish to see
perpetuated."
DR.. Adler blamed modern fiction for
much OF the modern fatal attitude toward
marriage. THE conception Of love In
most modern novels is rather vulgar or
else cultural he said.
He thought, however, that the divorce
statistics were not as alarming as they
appeared on the surface.
Put the hundred thousand divorces OF
the year against the millions of homes
where presumably there is no division,
and the situation seems not so bad" he
said.
Lastly, he warned the mothers who
heard him mot to compel obedience from
their children, to grant the young indi-
viduality and independence.
But consult your children about your
affairs" he said, and that will lead the
way to your advising them in theirs"