The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1912-05-05

ball. It's be larned man. Here is: 'Th
ordhinry obsarvare, or lunkhead, who knows nav
thin about baseball excipt what he larned be
pla7in' it, has no idee that th' game as played
today is wan v tn most intricate sciences known
to mankind In tn first place, tn player must
have absolute masthry iv tn theery iv ballisic
motion, This is especially thruc iv tn pitcher. A
most exact knowlege iv nathyrnatcs is re-
quired FIR tn position What is vugarly known
as tn spit bali, on account ~ tn homely way in
which tn oprator procures his effects, is, in
fact, solution iv wan v tn most intricate prob
lens in mechanics TIL purpose iv tn pitcher is
to projict tn projictyle so that at pint between
his position an tn batsnan tn tndincy to pro-
cecd on its way will be counthcracted be inn
pulse to return whence it come. TIL purpose iv
tn batsnlan is afther judgin be scientific methods
tn probable coorse thraj jecthry v the missile,
to oppose it with suficyent foorce at tn proper
moment an at tn most efficient point first to
retard its for ard movement, thin to correct tn
osscylation, an hn1ly to propcl IT in direction
approximately opposite firm its original progress.
This, | am informed. is technically known as
"pasting tn ball on tn nose Cor bugle)" In a
great number iv cases which / obsarved tn cx-
pertinent iv tn bats1nan failed an tn umpire was
obliged so to declare, tn ball havin' actually
crossed tn plate, but euded til (intended) blow.
In other cases where no blow WAS attempted or
even meditated I noted that tn umpire erred, an
in gin'ral must deplore gin'ral lack iv thrained
scientific observation ON tn part iv this oficyal.
He made a number " glarn blundhers an |
was not surprised to larn fr m gintlenlan who
sat next to me that he 9th umprc) had spint tn
arly part iv his life as fish in tn Mammoth cave
iv Kentucky. / thried me best to show me dis
approval iv his onscientihc an Infamous methods
be hittin' him over tn head with me umbrella as
he left tn grounds
"' At tn requist iv tn iditor iv tn magazine,
interviewed Misther Bugs Muigan, tn pitcher
" tn Kangaroos, afther tn game. l found tn
cillybrated expert in tn rotundy iv tn Grand
Palace hotel, where he was settin with other
players, po1ishn' his finger nails. I r-read him
nv notes on tn game an he expressed mis- ap-
proval, addin' with show at laste v enthusyasm
Bo We have head like dhrrn,." l requested
him to sign til foregon statement, but he de-
clined remarlin' that tn last time he wrote his
name he sprained his wrist an was out " tn
game fr week
"Whatd be don at tn likes iv game like
that? Id come away with narvous headache,
No. sir, wiin ] take day off, | take day off.
I'm not gon' to a baseball game I'm goin' to
take bag iv peanuts an spnd an afternoon at
til clinical labrytory down at tn coedge where
there's something goin' on can understand"
80, sure" said Mr.. Hennessy, =" if twas as
mysteeryous as all that how cud Tom Donohue' S
boy Petite arn it, that was fired firm tn brothers
school because he cudden't add ="
"Well, | dinnaw," said Mr.. Dooley. :"
thought v that tn last time he was in here. I'd
been readin an article be Professor Slapgood,
an | harly knew how to address tn young
scientist though It's not nanny years since l.
chased him away firm in front iv tn place with
TIL hose I'd lost thrack iv him since he left home,
so says suppose we've studied hard; says |,
since seen We last says How long coorse
iv science did We take beflre ye enthered tn pro-
fisyon? says I. Put 'em lower, says he LII
suns in me eyes he says WE'LL says |, where