davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11
A Notable Centenary.

Scholars and men of science arc look
ing forward with increasing interest to
the centenary celebration of the for
nation of the Academy of Sciences in
Philadelphia. 1t was on January IS,
1872, that the first meeting of the sci
entists Of Philadelphia was held to or
gsnize the academy upon the models
which then existed in Europe The
name Academy of Natural Sciences
was adopted on March Fl, and at pre-
vious and succeeding meetings of the
small group of learned men then in
the Quaker City the preliminaries of
organization were completed.
For 100 years the academy has ex-
listed, and has stood in all that time for
the true advancement of natural SCI
e-ce in its broadest and best sense. The
academy occupied rented quarters and
moved many times in the earlier years,
until it acquired a permanent home in
1898. The publication of its famous
journal was begun in 1921. In 1880 the
society outgrew its first permanent
home, and a new building was erected
Since that time the museum and library
have been added. For many years the
academy in Philadelphia has been the
mecca of scholars from all parts of the
country to pursue their special lines of
inquiry, and it has possibly been the
chief means in this country during the
century for the advancement of the
study OF nature.
A notable feature of the centennial
will be history in detail of the acad-
emy from its foundation, compiled and
written by the librarian. DR. Edward
J. Nolan, who this year will round out
half century in the service OF the in
In its museum and library arc celc-
brated collections of books and scien-
tihc objects. Since 1868, indeed, when
the museum was housed at its present
site, it has been one of the great CEN
tiers of scientific inquiry in the United
States. The Journal of the society. con-
sisting of sixty volumes, is the record
Of the advancement of science during
the period which it covers.
The centennial celebration will be
held during three days in the month Of
and at that time many of the
celebrated scholars of this country and
not few from Europe viii gather to
pay their tribute of affection and praise
to the Academy OF Natural Sciences.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11
COLONEL RESENTS
GARBLING REPORTS
Declares No Member Of Aldine Club
Had Right to Make
Comment.

Oyster Bay. n. 7, Jan. 1O-Theodore
Roosevelt returned from New York to-
night bristling with indignation over the
fraEmentary reports made by guests at
the Aldine Club dinner last night, at
which the former President is alleged to
have declared he could not refuse the
nomination for 1872 IL 1t was forced on
him."
mo member OF the club had the right
to attempt to say what / said in my
speech" he declared. hotly. Il cannot
believe that any one did say a word.
said nothing in that speech that I had
not said before
Concerning the singing criticism Of
him BY Mr. Bryan. the colonel said:
Il am not the least interested in what
Col Bryan SAYS"
And about the petition signed by I.OIO
New Jersey progressives who asked the
colonel to consent to his name being put
on the primary ballots:
II have not seen any such petition
officially. 1 have heard OF It. but until 1t
is brought before me cannot talk about
It,"
The coloners stay in New York to-day
was marked by no occurrence Of political
significance
1t Is reported here that Col. Roosevelt
received letter from President Taft two
weeks ago. in which the latter offered TO
step down II the colonel was anxious to
run for the Presidency again. In his
srred Mr.. Taft that he would not be a
candidate for the nomination under any
Col Roosevelt, Oyster Bay is stfn con-
is in the struggle until he def
nitely declares himself out OF II.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11
STATESMEN, REAL AND NEAR.
By FRED {. KELLK.

4
DR.. Wiley. the pure FODDER. and Wiilii
L. Moore. the boss Veathermans are
great cronies. They are drawn together
by the fact that each II a daily victim
OF amateur testers and sidewalk merry
makers who persist in cracking the same
old jokes about the weather or things
to eat.
Wiley and Moore were talking to z
couple OF friends the other day and
somebody suggested a dinner. Wiley
said he would bo IN for Il. and Moore
said he would. So Il was arranged that
the dinner should be held at the Cosmos
Club the next night.
When the guests arrived Moore. be-
lieving himself the hest, indicated the
way to table where the feast he had
ordered was to be spread.
But the dinners to be served at this
table over here" said Wiley. pointing
to another end OF the dining-room-
''WeIl. who's running this. anyhow
inquired Moore. ct suess I'm the host. .
Il beg your pardon" said Wiley. but
happen to be the host, and
There It was. Each had thought him
self ths host and ordered an elaborate
and highly edible layout Of stun in ad-
vance.
wiiey's 'food scheme included milk
fed chicken, Matched from a Strictly
Fresh egg. and Moore had arranged
for a beefsteak the size OF a doormat
and as thick as a law book. The two
hosts stood midway between the two
tables and argued about the merits of
the rival feasts with all the imagina-.
tive word pIcturings OF a pair OF press
agents. After each had failed TO con-
vince the other, Wiley suggested a
compromise. II was a compromise
characteristic OF Wiley, who has one
OF those shaft-driven, internal expand
ing appetites.
"TlI admit that your table is in the
best location" began the doctor, $50
we'll move my costly feast over to
your table. and well eat both dinnersr'
The guests who had brought only
appetite enough for one feast, looked
startled, but Wiley said 1t could be
done.
First they'd have Moore's soup
course. then Wiley's soup course, and
so on, until everybody imagined he
looked like william H. Taft.
And when 81 was all over. Wiley
leaned back and expressed the hope
that double dinners would become pop
ular. He said It was the only way to
eat.
Oscar Underwood. the House leader.
has one Of those calm. philosophic faces
that should be worth it's weight in gold
IN a friendly little poker game.
He could draw to three aces and I'LL
without ever q quiver OF an eye winker
But, strangely enough. Oscar seldom,
If ever. plays poker. A friend Of Under
wood got 20 wondering about this. and
sought out Oscar for an explanation.
Oscar" says he, somebody was tell
ing me that you hadn't played poker for
ten years And you with that face!
How's IL come that you don't play poker
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11
CHANGE
In ARMY OPPOSED
Secretary stimson and Gen. Wood
Condemn Hay Programme of Re
organizing Regular Service.

The opposition Of the War Department
and the army 10 the reorganization Of
the military establishment along the lines
proposed by Representative Hay in meas
ures incorporated In the army appropria-
ton bill was presented to the House
Committee on Military Affairs yesterday
in the form Of letter from Secretary
stimson and a lengthy statement from
Maj. Gen. Wood. Chief OF STAFF.
Secretary Stimson declared that the
adoption OF the entire Hay programme
would be a reversal OF the military policy
of the United States, and a long step
backward. Gen. Wood said that 'our
present condition. so far as the land
force is concerned is one OF unprepsred-
ness for war with any first-class power"
and expressed the view that the passage
Of the Hay bill in its present form would
make the country even more unft to
withstand conflict with the armed forces
Of another nation.
Friends and leaders OF the army regard
the present situation, brought about by
the Hay bill. as marking the greatest
crisis the military establishment has ever
had to face. The documents submitted
to the committee constitute the most Wig
orous assault the military authorities
are capable Of making upon the Hay
rOgramme. IneN expect 10 convince
the House committee OF the business OF
their opposition to the chairman's views.
Representative Hay contended that his
measures were in the interest OF econ
omy, Both Secretary Stimson and Gen.
Wood declare that on the contrary. the
proposed changes would not be econom-
ical and that II any reduction OF ex-
penses were effected II would be TO the
detriment of the military service.
The features of the Hay bill to which
the military authorities object are the
of the term OF enlistment
from three TO five years, the consolidation
OF the Adjutant Generals Department
with the General Stan corps, the making
OF permanent details TO the General
Stan. the abolition OF the post OF chief
Of coast artillery, the abolition Of the po-
sition of chief OF the militia division. and .
the consolidation of the Quartermaster's
and Pay departments into
a supply corps.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11


any more7 Don't you like the xaue,
It'd be foolish to ask II YOU didn't mako
success OF Il, because II a man with
countennnee like yours isn't good st
poker, then I'd want to reDounce every
theory ever heard Of, including the
germ. atomic, and poker theory, as un-
sound"
Well. can tell you In a few words
why l never play poker" replied Under
wood. Il stopped playing because I got
tired staying up all the time and yawn-
Ing whenever talked TO anybody and
having folks get on that trite old phrase,
Is IL the weather or the company"
Lee Mcclung, Treasurer Of the United
States. but noted more particularly for
football prowess at Yale. got into an ar
gument some time ago with a man who
thought football should be abolished.
The game Isn't half as dangerous a.
its critics would have one believe" said
McC1ung. For example. after twenty
five years or 50. every member Of our
old team Is not only alive, but above
the average in health"
Yes" came back the other man
savageIy. and never intending to pay
Mcclung a compliment. but what be-
came Of some OF your opponents?
Representative pan" Anthony. of
Kansas. proprietor Of the LeayenEorth
Times, says he has probably drawn more
libel suits in his time than any news
paper man in the country. Young Dan
started to work on his fathers paper
in the days when the editor wrote a
couple OF strong editorials and then
hastily cooked his revolver before his
subscribers had time TO read the edi-
torials. Dan used to upbraid his father
for making his editorials too severe, and
so, occasionally. the elder Anthony
would permit Dan to try his hand. And
just as sure as Dan printed any OF his
opinions about things. another libel suit
was promptly placed on file over at the
courthouse So long as he merely wrote
up events. accounts OF fires and the like,
Dan kept out Of trouble fairly well, but
the moment he undertook TO set forth
opinions. unhampered by facts. then
there was the very Old Harry to pay.
His father would suggest that he write
just about spring, or the song OF the
birds and such, but even then Dan would
manage 20 drag somebody's name into
the discussion In a way that would give
offense- II was a year or two before
he acquired the knack Of writing an edi-
torial that didn't tend to provide car
mage for the community.
Representative william Kent. Of Cali
fornia. mas framed and hanging up in
his ofiee an envelope that he regards
as noteworthy for the abbreviated ad-
dress II bears. The envelope was ad-
dressed:
Rep. Kent. House Rep"
Kent's envelope reminds one of a let
ter received by President Taft not long
ago from a Western man 1t opened up
as follows: Mr.. Pres Taft, Wash, ID.
c., Dear Pres"
Copyright. lsls. by Fred c. Kelly. AL rights ~
seuedl
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11
Uncle Walt Says To-day:

When days cold and dreary and raging empests blow
and all the world seems weary of and drifting when
old Professor Sleeist is cutting up quite bad,
BAD WEATHER then life the sweetest and should
all be glad. l like to hear the roaring of storm
fends the oof like hear the pouring of rain upon the
roof for pull my before the gaudy fire. and read
shilling shocker mix things with my Tyre. Around happy
faces reghts glow talk Of friends and places and
days of long ago the storm grows rogher breathe
heartfelt sigh any homeless duer beneath that bitter sky Our
spirits dropping because of winters with talk and
song and whooping the pleasant evening goes.
And sit together happiness immersed and say
wintry weather "Go to lido your worstr
By WALT Mason
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11
NOT A SECOND THOUGHT"
Edwin A. Newman Explains why
Gov. Harmon Was Absent.

Gov. Harmon Was Absent.
Edwin A. Newman. chairman of the
jackson Day banquet COMMITTEES. last
night denied that Gov. Judson Harmon
was extended ''second-thought' invita-
ton.
According to Mr.. Newman, invitations
were extended on December by wire to
all leading Democrats, including Gov.
Harmon. and were followed the next day
by formal letters OF invitation.
Mr.. Harmon came TO Washington a
few days later TO attend the annual din
ner of the Gridiron Club. and both Mr
Newman and Senator Pomerene. Of Ohio.
called on him and urged him to attend
the jackson Day feast. Mr. Harmon
told them then that he had made a pre-
vious engagement 10 speak in East ST.
Louis on the night OF January 8, but
would cancel the engagement II Il be-
came necessary for him to file a brief in
the Supreme Court.
The date set By the court for the filing
of the brief was postponed. however.
which made II impossible for Mr.. Harmon
to cancel his st. Louis engagement.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11
DAFFYDnAToRY HoNK-HoNK.

With Apologies TO Whoever Started u and W
Harent the NerTe to Copyright IT.
n joy riding makes one thin.
Is that what MAKES the Easolinel
The runabout Is safe al boue.
But. say where the limousine!
A Mona Lisa DISAPPEARED.
u may be true the rsdiator.
The critics rated her quite high
How high did tho secsierstor?
Are foreign missions hetier than
An ordinary Eear transniiSsion:
Do iviclsis bloom IN the spring
That's placed within the leather cushion,
u you should hear q funny noise,
Wuuld the tonneau Whai made the racketf
steel Jack ffts the car a foot.
But bow far viii the water jacketi
What vas II made the quadrant
About the blowout q the tirei
II made the wheel base. was bis claim.
Nor cusiid the srark Plug up his ire;
Oh, ere the piston ring It's hands
Because the horn went On toot;
u claims the universal ioiut
Besnirrhed the cylinders With SCOT.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11
Wants Three Vice AdmIraIs.

Representative Jefferson Levy, OF New
York. yesterday introduced a bill author
king the President to appoint three vice
admirals of the navy, to receive s1l.ooo q
year on the active list and $500 a year
retired pay. It is provided that a vice
admiral voluntarily retiring shall step
down to the mex. lowest grade. In addi-
ton to their pay, vice admirals are to
have an allowance OF SIC a month for
quarters
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11
COL. ROOSEVELT.

Prom the Boston Herald.
Mr.. Roosevelt is also a man Of many
meetings.
Fru1a the PittsburE Post.
T. R. demands privacy in one breath
and prohibits Il in the next.
Prom the BuifsIo Ezr-ess.
Would an earthquake Of any kind
shake T. r. from his foundation OF ST.
lence?
From the Philadelphia Record.
OF course, T. r. hasn't committed
himself. but It looks as IL he were in
favor of the recalI-of T. r.
From the Detroit News
II that weIl-known stock market tick
er, public pulse. is any indication. T. r.
preferred seems to be going up.
From the Columbus Cohio) State Journal
Col Roosevelt announces that he is
going to remain bottled up. but we sus-
pect he viii continue to pop occasionally.
From the Atlanta Journal
Col Roosevelt is in the attitude OF
statesman whom the ofice Is seeking. but
once II finds him, the colonel won't try
to prove an alibi.
From the Jaeksonvile Times-Union.
With Roosevelt and Wilson as the can
didates the fight would not be between
the Democrats and Republicans. but be-
tween the two best advertisers.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11

only one thing to the student of the
worlds affairs.
Russia is already in Mongolia with
consular guards and numerous small
bodies of troops, and she is there to
stay until the state is part and parcel
of the Russian empire.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11

proud of their squadron, which went
forth in the imaginary defense of the
nation and met real war with the, ele-
ments.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11

Rev. Clarence Rieheson says he con-
fessed his guilt to ease his conscience.
II it is so sensitive. It Is a wonder he
had anything TO confess.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11
a stronE combInatlon.

Ffom the Cleveland Leader.
Prof. Irving Fisher declares that the
high cost of living is caused by malaria,
beokEorm. and alcohol. The professor
certainly has hit upon a combination
which ought 10 produce results in any
one case.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11

With the examples OF Gladstone and
Jefferson before him. Senator Bob Tay-
Tor should be slow to conclude that nd
ding necessarily detracts from states
manship.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11

Some railroads In Germany are equip
ping their locomotive cabs with cocoa
mats TO absorb the vibration. which II
said to affect the hearing Of the members
Of the crews.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11

1t seems to be difficult to make the
closed caucus or the executive session
OF a national committee absolutely air.
tight.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11

In the city Of London at the time OF
King John every vintner was required
to hang outside his shop an iron vessel
with pegs marking the different qualities
sold.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11

II Mr.. Carnegie VIII tell the whole
truth about the steel trust IT will make
quite an addition to his Libraries.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11
ALITTLE NONSENSE.
SMITHS IN THE SENATE.

The Senate now has four Smiths and II
Is stated that a NTH viii shortly ar
rive from AriEona.-News Item.
Some odd traditions fioat about.
Some Senate myths:
But there Is not a BIT OF doubt
As TO its Smiths.
You've heard Of VIM. Alden Smith
Who Is a man
OF real moment and OF pith
From Michigan.
j.. ter comes from Maryland
N = Pocomoke.
And Georgia kindly sends US grand,
Imposing Hoke.
We have a Carolina Smith
And rumors say
That Arizona steps UP with
Her Marcus A.
Some Senate legends We may doubt
And deem them myths.
But certainly It has a stout
Array of Smiths.
Uncle Pennywise sayst
After man gets famous. people place
tablets on houses that he was, perhaps.
elected from for nonpayment OF rent.
There Are More Marya.
II see your daughter Mary has changed
her name to Marie"
she had. but she changed it back in
a hurry the other day"
why the change backg'
"She read somewhere that all the
Marys in the British empire Clipped In
and gave Queen Mary $4,000 as a eoro-
nation present. She thought something
OF the kind might possibly happen 70
her some day."
No Great Harm.
Harold. baby got hold of the ink bot
tie this morning.
And what has he done?'
Spilled ink all over the new rug"
That can be easily rectihed. thought
you were going to tell me that the un-
fortunate child had written a novel"
shedding His Troubles.
His resolutions gone to pot.
His diary on the shelf,
He'll get a chance as like as not
To now enjoy himself.
Wanted the Latest.
The lady descended from a handsome
automobile and entered the seed store.
What have you In bulbs?' she demand
ed. Il wish to plant some jonquils and
tulips"
Here is our noral catalogue. madam"
"Ah! And can you assure ms that
these blooms are all 1872 models?''
Had . Treasure.
why must you call up your house
every fifteen minutesg" snorted the
senior partner. zone would think you
a bridegroom. Do you have to talk love
talk to your wife at your age?'
1T isn't that" explained the Junior
partner somewhat sheepishIy. ~ Just
want to see II the new cook iF still
there"
Not Like the Old Days.
These times are too many for me.
declared Senator Smugg.
"As to how?''
why. a fellows term is up before
they get through investigating his elec-
fTop
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11

The ice in the street doesn't cause az
many fails as that on the seats OF the
water wagon.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11

1t might now be almost excusable to
call the Democratic committeeman from
Pennsylvania Col Guffaw.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11

Importers OF cutlery are reported to
have defauded the government OF five
millions. Trim 'em!
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11

An inventor has placed a small horse
shoe magnet on the side Of a thimble
to help tsiIcrs pick up needles
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11
THE POLITICAL PROCESSION

There will be a slight stir among the
Senators when the secretary OF the SEN
ate reads the namo OF Creighton Foraker
in the list OF appointments to be made by
President Taft to-day or tomorrow. The
older Senators will recall that the name
Of Foraker was often in the Record a
few years back, when Joseph Benson
Foraker was senior Senator from Ohio.
The Creighton Foraker whose name may
come to the Senate for confirmation this
week has long been the United States
marshal in New Mexico Territory, and
the Republican leaders have indorsed
him for reappointment in the new State.
1t has often been remarked that while
Marshal Foraker was not a lawyer he
was almost as potent in New Mexico
politics as his older brother in Ohio. The
story runs that Creighton Foraker was
first a candidate for marshal under the
Mckinley first term, and Joseph Benson,
the Senator, began his Senatorial term
along with the President. The New Mex
leo brother indicated his ambition to be
marshal and the Ohio brother indicated
rather forcibly that he did not want to
begin his Senatorial career with nepotism
or appointing brothers TO any once.
Il am not asking your Endorsement at
the White House" rejoined Brother
Creighton. II will get the appointment
from President Mckinley on my own
merits. All that I ask IS that you will
not oppose my confirmation when my
name reaches the Senate"
This retort caused a general cooling
down on the part of the Ohio brother.
and tho story pleased President McKin-
ley, who promptly sent in the name.
The arrival Of Marshal Foraker yester-
day revived interest in New Mexico and
its new position in national politics In
other national conventions II has had
two delegates. 1t will now have eight.
Also there will be the appointment Of
new Federal oficials on a new basis.
Besides marshal. the President will
make appointments for United States
judge, United States attorney, collector
OF internal revenue, and many Land
Office agents.
The chief candidate at present for COL
lector is Henry Bardshire. who has long
been busy getting Endorsements.
Under the Territorial regime there were
Federal judges appointed for the minor
courts, seven in number. These all give
way to elected judges, both Supreme and
District. W. II. Pope, who has been
chief Justice Of the Territorial Court. will
probably be made the Federal Judge,
while Dave Leshy, late local Judge, will
no doubt be made United States attorney
Marshal Foraker is saying nothing about
the other possible contests for Federal
places, and serenely contents himself
with watching his own affairs.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-11

Defective Burns is one OF those who do
not let their high magazine rate interfere
with their conversational powers.