Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1912-10-10

bent over the roast
Closer
Van Wrinkle bent lower. The maniac
put his hand on the others head and
rubbed his nose on the beef When he
permitted his victim to arise, red
spot appeared on the top of the pro-
fessOr's nose.
you've come here to make an in |
spection and you've got to do it. You
can't smell anything unless you poke
your nose into it. What do you think |
it is?"
'Roast beef. 1t smells very bad"
stammered the terrified scientist.
Roast beef! Why, man, that's not
roast beef; it's unicorn
Certainly it is"
"And it's rotten"
every rotten"
mot fit to eat"
''Indeed it's not"
"Whatll do with it?"
'Throw it away"
mo: III burn it to cinder." And
showing the meat back into the oven,
he shut the door with bang.
"Do you know. professor, what kind
of meat believe in feeding insane per
sons on?"
| mo"
Human meat. There's something in
human meat to nourish humans. Why
not? The waste is replenished by the
same tissue that is lost. These crazy
persons suffer from a want of brain
food What's so good for the brain
as the brain If could give all these
sufferers in this asylum one dinner Of
brain food I could cure 'em."
Suppose" said the professor, trem-
suppose we go out and get
some brain food for them"
go out? Why should we go out
when we've got it right here? You,
who have done so much for brain suf.
ferers will certainly do one thing more. y
WHAT" faltered the professor
knowing we'll what the man meant
"Give your brain to the cause. II
would be worth dozen common
brains. Its theories would be takeI
in to the system as well as the organ
ic matter Like cures like. Come, lay
your head down on that block. IT
take it off with this cleaver and boil il
in that cauldron."
The professor. white as a sheet anC
trembling at the knees, looked about
for an avenue of escape.
Down on the block!' roared the
maniac. Its nothing more than many
eminent men and women among on
} British ancestors have done. Think O.
Anne Boleyn. the Earl of STAFFORD
J Archbishop Lawd. Lady Jane Gray
Charles |. and hundreds of others
: They gave their heads for no cause
| you will give yours for mental suf
! fererS."
The maniac seized the professor b!
the arm, at the same time raising thu
cleaver Van Wrinkle could stand tn,
&. strain no longer. He raised a cry tina
reverberated throughout the building
Persons were heard trying to open th
: doors. Then one of the windows wa
thrown up. and an attendant jumped
into the room. followed by others. The.
J reached the maniac in time to save tn
; professor, took the cleaver from tn
former and led him away struggling
: Six strong men were engaged in the re
? moval.
Van Winkle on reaching home, a
soon as he had recovered from tn
= shock he had received. wrote out
statement to the directors of the stat
] asylum for the insane in which he ad
I mitted that there were cases Of insan
" ity needing rigorous treatment and tina
e the experienced persons in charge o
I them were the best judges of when t
apply such treatment. The superin
e tendant's resignation was withdrawn.
The brain theorist did not again visi
e the institution for two years, when Dl
2 Swinbourne had retired. In the neN
e superintendent Professor Van Winkl
+ met with a surprise. He was none otE
q er than the maniac chef who had S
y nearly chopped the inspectors head OF
d The superintendent smiled.
$ Professor" he said. I'VE were obliG
; ed to eliminate your interference wit
J DR.. Swinbourne's management or los
q the doctor. When you came on you
tour of inspection ] was then phys
y clan on the staff. but you had neve
S seen me and | concluded to play tn
S part of an uncured patient. l meant n
: harm. Your scientific deductions ar
q valuable. but we must be the judges a
J. to testing them"
Professor Van Wrinkle never told th
n story as to how he had been duped an
eliminated.