davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
GILBERT HAD A READY WIT

Rowland Grey in Century Magazine
 His table talk will not be garnered up in dismal little volumes where the champagne is flat and the lamps burn dim. Brevity was the soul of his wit The terrible verdict as to a certain Hamlet" whose impersonator unwse- ly asked him to be candid is histor- ical.
 Funny, my dear fellow--funny with. out being vulgar"
 A remark about another conceited. player was made to very limited au- dience: [
 Poor ---. he has all the faults of an actor without the excuse of being one"
 A word was enough He described d. sweet old woman, all sopins shoulders and monitor lace, as belonging to the early keepsake period" Another, who was being ridiculed for the hideous Middlesex accent, which converted bad weather into "voil d'y," was gravely defended by him: she is of ancient lineage; for it is evident she is de- scended from the Twanglo- -Saxons." Of a stout matron in society he remarked T like Mrs A, but l prefer a wom-i an to be as long as she is broad Ral- lied for his admiration of several beau ties at once, he retorted: But surely am too good to be true" which was unanswerable.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
THE EDUCATED WOMAN

Helen Keller in the Metropolitan Mag
 azine.
 I am not disposed to praise the edu- cated woman. as we commonly use the
 term. I find her narrow and lacking
 in vision. Few women whom I meet
 take a deep interest in the important questions of the day. They are bored
 by Sany problem not immediately rec lated to their desires and ambitions. Their conversation is trivial and err
 ratio They do not consider subject long enough to find out that they know nothing about it.
 How seldom does the college girl. who has tasted philosophy and studied history. relate philosophy and the chroniclese of the past to the terrific processes of life which are marking history every day, Her reputed prac- seem to become imperative in the pres ence of any question that reaches to a wide horizon. Her mind works quick fly so long as it follows traditi-nal groove. Lift her out of it and she be- comes inert and without resouce. Such a woman comes to the gravest responsibilities like the foolish vir- gins who hastened to the marriage with no oil in their lamps. She is not prepared for the battle of life Before she knows it she may be in the midst of the fight, undisciplined and disor- ganized, struggling for all that is pre- cious to her against an enemy whose
 position she has not reconnoitered. She
 sends her sons and daughters into the
 streets of life without the knowledge lthat protects. Ignorance gives her confidence. and she is fearless from
 want of understanding
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
Iron still Upward

Heavy sales, large inquiry and much excitement mark the pig iron market" say Matthew, Addy & Co, in their Cincinnati report.
 "Belated buyers who had no faith in the future of the market and who. when the advance came in August, thought it mere flash in the pan, have had a change of heart They are now rushing to cover. It is surpris- ing how completely affairs have been reversed. As recently as July the pig iron market was a plaything of the buyer. He had his own way. But now it is a sellers market. There is not a furnace in the country but has all the orders it cares to take and today the furnaces can select the business they desire and put their own price upon it.
 ITO our thinking, the end is not yet in sight. In fact it really looks as if iron had Just good start Next year prices are bound to be higher, and costs of making iron will be much greater for heavy increases are in sight in the price of both ore and coke. It is notorious that for the past three years neither the iron masters nor the ore and coke producers have made money. Some few have been lucky enough to break even and that is the best that can be said.
 Today the general price in the south for forward shipment is s14.5o and in the north sl6.00.
 "Everywhere there Is painful short age of coke. The coke situation is be- ginning to be serious and the shortage of labor and shortage of cars that is causing it does not promise to be soon reieved.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
Who cannot he crush'd with plot.
 -AlI,s Well that Ends Well.
Car Shortages in the South

The west has outwitted the south, it appears, and the cars that should be at hand in this section to be load ed with cotton and coal and iron and steel are in the west to be loaded with grain. The west is exporting great crops and it's railroads will hold every possible car until the grain movement is accomplished.
 The southern railroads stand out witted, and the prevailing car short age may be felt more acutely in the south than elsewhere. True. rental has to be paid on detained cars, but a railroad that can secure full loads at good rates can afford to pay per diem penalty.
 The state railroad commission is helpless, but the interstate commerce commission is not. As a matter of justice it should place a limit upon the right to hold cars from other rail- roads. If the southern railroads had the use of their own cars there would be no car shortage in the south.
 The railroads are urging shippers to load and unload cars promptly, and to load them to capacity. Every railroad is completing as rapidly as possible all repair work on cars and locomo- tives, and perhaps after all shippers will not be greatly inconvenienced.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

Paris Correspondence in London Express. nARIs has only lately started cine
 matograph newspaper It is called "Le Cinema and is quite interest ing to the layman, unfolding as it does a vista of quite unexpected information on the moving picture industry. An ar ticle in the current number describes how a film was produced showing the flddling of Nero while Rome burned. Over four hundred supers took part in the perform ance, and a number of houses were built era. The cost of this one picture was, says "Le Cinema" e1200.
 A still more interesting piece of nov ing picture news is that cinematograph classes in tactics have been organized in the barrack-rooms of several French reg iments. It is an obvious ract that soldiers and many of the officers learn very little of tactics during maneuvers, for, being in the movements which are executed, they do not see them as a whole or un- derstand them. For this reason cinemato-, graph pictures of the maneuvers are over, are being used to educate the soldiers. and to some extent their officers.
 An amusing order has been issued by the military governor of Paris He has forbidden all soldiers under his command,
 in other words. all the soldiers garrisoned in Paris, to read newspapers when they are walking about the streets in uniform. The prohibition is a quaint one, because of the incorrigible habit of so many Parisians. In London one very rarely sees a man reading a newspaper in the street unless he happens to be station ary In Paris it is the most usual thing in the world for a man to bump into you, and to apologize that he was so interested in his copy of the Petit Parisien or the Matin that he did not see where he was going.
 The military governor might go even further, and endeavor 10 do something to improve the general department of the French soldier in the streets. While there is little doubt as to his sterling merit as a,fighting man, his slatternly appearance and slouchng walk make it difficult for a foreigner to realize this No English visitor to Paris can fail to be impressed with the difference between the French soldier and our own Tom my for the usual attitude of the former is bad imitation of the 'Eton slouch," hands in pockets, and smoking a cigar cite. There is, of course, the difference between a conscript and d regular to be taken into account, but even allowing for this. there seems no reason why the  adopt more military gait out of bar racks.
 It requires stretch of imagination to believe that Paris was at one time famed for it's wine crop, but such is the case In the thirteenth and fourteenth cen turies the wine of Montmartre was as eel
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
THE FIRST CHANTEY

3udyard kpng.
 FINE darking found her;
 Haling the held her and bound her \ Iot her had proved her; A Hearing laugh in the gloom, greatly loved her Swift through ran; stood to guard us Few the flood barred Him sullen swollen; Planting we waited deaIh steaer and stolen. Yet ere they laid for the slaughter, Lightly leaped a log lapped in the water: Holding skins that arrayed her, Called she the of the Wind that he should aid her. Life had the tree at (Prase we the GvcrD Otterike left he he the full river Far fell their behind, flashing and ringing, Wonder and fear, yet she was singing Low lay the had left. Now the blue bound us, Even the Floor of Gods level around Whisper there word shadow nor showing, Still the light the deep. glowing and growing Then did He His place haring from under, He the Con.peler, the Sun, barred to our wonder
 Nav nota leag blinded with gazing, Cleared He the womb world huge and amazing. This we beheld live)the Pit of the Burning Then the spoke the tree for our returning; Rack to the beach flight. fearless and slowly. Back to our sla;ers went but holy. Men that were not hunt. that followed, promised bones renbed and WalloNel over the of tribe crouching and fawntnC priestess came back from the dawsfngl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

gard which such managers always nave for the public money, plunged into campaign of expenditure which has been unparalleled in these waters. There was never. apparently, any attempt to apply ordinary business prudence to the under taking Service, terminals and boats were all made to cost as much as possiple' and the result has been far greater loss than was necessary under ordinary care full management.
 Is it not fair to assume that this Will always be the case under public manage ment of utilities? The idea among of- ficials seems to be that as the public IS paying, only the most expensive plan. should be bought, without regard to earn ing power. Does anyone believe that if the subway were municpally operated it would be paying anything like the divi- dends shown at present? Municipal fer ries should prove an object lesson to those citizens who have been befuddled by the harangues of politicians in favor of municipal ownership elsewhere
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
THE JEALOUS MERGER.

Chicago woman was arrested the other day charged with praying too loud. She prayed often and vociferously, if the protesting neighbors can be believed, and finally became disturbing element.
 Of course, nobody contends that this enthusiastic devotee was heard because O. her loud praying. The still small voice would have carried the petition quite as well. But to arrest a person for pray ing seems an anomaly.
 It recalls the story of the verger in Westminster abbey who had a foreigner arrested for kneeling and praying in the main aisle of the building.
 But" said the judge, why do you ob- ject to the mans devotional act?"
 The verger was amazed
 'Wwhy. your honor,' he stuttered, If I d-didnt make an example of this man people wonld be praying all over the place!'
 Cleveland Plain Dealer,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
SURE OF IT

From the Philadelphia Telegraph
 The doctor told him he neededSarbo- hydrates. proteids and. above all. some- thing nitrogenous. The doctor men, tioned long list of foods for him to eat He staggered out and wabbled into Penn Avenue restaurant
 How about beefsteak?' he asked tho waiter. "Is that nitrogenous?"
 The waiter didn't know.
 Are fried potatoes rich in carbohy- drates or not?"
 The waiter couldn't say.
 Well, I'll fix It." declared the poor man in despair. Bring me a large plate of hash"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
THE CAUSE
From the London Telegraph.

From the London Telegraph.
 The cheerful idiot on his way home noticed mine host of the Red Lion at his porch, who said: Nice evening, sir"
 Yes" responded the cheerful idiot; quite clear. Had any fog here to- lday?,
 Not a breath of 1t, sir
 Dear me--would you believe it? On my way to town l was on the front seat of the omnibus. and l couldn't see the horses heads
 Well, well. sir; think of that--sup- pose it's because the winds in the nor 'east?''
 "Perhaps.' answered the cheerful idiot it may be so; but the fact that it was a motor omnibus may have had something to do with it, don't you think?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
Hostilities in the Balkan States

The fighting of today is in the Balkan states and not at Armaged- don, and very real fighting it will be, too. It will not resemble the scram- bling mobs in Mexico or Central Amer ica. The Moslems fight as determ- inedly as the Japanese do, and the Bull parians and Serbs and Greeks will not be found lacking in courage and vigor. One steamer, the Macedonian, has sailed away from New York carry ing 1900 Greeks who as reservists will fight for autonomy at least in Macedo- nia and Crete. The hold of the Mace donia is filled with ammunition.
 War Minister Maxim Pasha has been placed in supreme command of the armies of the porte. Thus prepara- tions for war are going on and both sides will soon be ready for actual hostilities. In fact the fighting has been begun, and no one knows where or when it will be stopped. Austria will. it is said, try to localize the war, but this is easier said than done, for Italy will see that no troops are car ried from Asia Minor to Macedonia. Italy is to be reckoned with in the coming war.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
The ruturc of the District

There is no good reason to queS- ton the permanence of the prosper ity which is now felt and talked. about in every part of the country" said one of the old upbuilders of this city
 Business men have remarked the curious fact that a boom started this year in the face of a presidential cam paign-something unheard of, certainly unheard of in my day. After the elec- tion capital may be let loose more free ly than 1t is even now but business is booming solidly today and there are indications that We will have boom times next year and the year after. With normal crops we are sure to have prosperity for some years to come.
 "The Birmingham district, of course, has a great future. There has been some talk recently of the Steel cor poration detaching the Tennessee com pany as the basis for asking tho nited States government to withdraw 1e suit for the dissolution of the so-called steel trust I believe disconnecting the Ten nessee company would be a good thing, just as I thought and as people gen. erally thought, the entrance of the Steel corporation into the district in 1907 was a good thing. If the Ten nessee company is detached and made an independent company it would ac- quire the wire mill at Corey and the Republic Iron and Steel company's Ala bama properties. It might go further and acquire the Southern Iron and Steel company and the Alabama Consolidated Coal and Iron company; but no mat ter what happens, the district will forge ahead. In the next two or three years Birmingham will be more than even the Pittsburg of the oouth.'"
 Alabama Ore Supply
 "I was much interested in reading the report of the Southern Iron and Steel company appraisers showing the total of $4,S95, ,19451," said a man who is not a stock holder nor an official of any of the corporations, but who is well in- formed on mineral properties and on the industrial situation generally '"The ap- praisers were very conservative. The valuation of the splendid steel plant $2,263, 900. is certainly low enough. Vir- ginia mines which produce the finest quality of cooking coal, is appraised at s510,000, and l would have thought $550,0 low enough. The Southern Iron and Steel company has little or no ore, but as there are now two or three tracts of ore land on the market it may acquire ore property as soon as reorganization shall have taken place. By the way, speaking of ore. raw ma terial not owned by the large corpora tions is scarce indeed. A dozen or more tracts of ore land may be offered but only two or three are of high value. These two, however. are of great value and the purchaser, whether a specula- tor or an operator, will be most for tunate in getting hold of either of the properties referred to-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
WASTING TIME.

Two men VII stop upon the street
 And plunge into an argument, Obllvious of cold or heat,
 And talk until their breath is spent And wave their arms in gestures wild
 And shake their heads as if in doubt; Yet neither one-poor fools beguiledi-
 Knows aught of what he talks about
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
Llh.rai .. . Bandmaster

"Liberati's band will be a great attrac- tion at the fair said a clubman. It was the feature at fair at Smiths park some years ago, and l understand that even a greater number of artists VIII come with the band this time.
 '.Liberati made his reputation in this country as a cornet virtuoso. l heard him about 20 years ago when l thought him the best-better, even, than Levy He is quite an old man now, but l under stand he Is full of energy and enthus- iasm. A brilliant programme has been selected for the Sunday afternoon concert at the fair grounds. Liberati is one of the few members of the old papal guard left, who fought for the integrity of the papal states. He has medal bestowed upon him by Pope Plus lX.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
A PAINFUL MEMORY.

Observe the busy little bee,
 Who fits from bloom to bloom, And even though you'll laugh at me,
 I give it lots of room, For one time many years ago
 1 if7Sd a bee to get And got it in my chubby fist
 I feel that varmint yet. W
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
THINK THIS OVER.

An oriental physician in Boston, who is Chinaman. makes diagnoses by hold ing the hands of his patients-the soft white hands of society belles preferred.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

IIentueky's penitentary is to become . reformatory. and this particular reform should be extended to the city and county jails in Birmingham.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

The blast furnaces or this district turned out in September 155.51o tons of the great commercial metal. and oniy half of them were ir 2last.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
NOTHING 10 BRAG ABOUT.

There was a man in our town
 Who would not advertise, But since he many pockets picked Perhaps his course was wise.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
THE MODERN WAY.

E Nowadays the man who waits for an in- spiration is apt to be crowded out of the way by a feverish mob It is safer to
 keep humping and let the inspiration
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

He says anent the universe,
 "Whoopee. Just let her roll His lot in life might be far worse He's bought his winter coal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
AN s. P. A THoI-cui

We don't indorse the scheme of scien- tist to divert the Labrador current in favor of the Gulf Stream and soften the climate of the Arctic zone. That would be cruelty to polar bears.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

pr. Sun Vat Sen is q patriot, for he IS determined that the railroads, coal, iron and copper of China shall remain in the hands of the Chinese people.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

The Balkans are full of politics and unrest and yet there is no third term can didate in those little countries.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

Coz .rn ,r Wilson is to speak in ChicaT go on october 10. and he should keep at least one eye on his grip lest it be again stolen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

Birmingham has million dollar bud get, but New York has one that goes to two hundred millions without tremor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

Governor Dix has ceased to stand at Armageddon and William Sulzer will bat tie for ttk democracy in New York here after
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
FOREIGN JOKES.

What do you charge for glass oa milk?n
 "Ten pfennigs' Can I go with you into the shed aud have 1t straight from the cow?" "Yes, but that will be b pfennissfs- , Fliegende Blatter
 Wife: "oh, George dear, do order rat trap to be sent home today" George But you bought one last week." Wife: "Yes. dear. but there's a rat in that."-Tatler. Dentist: Have you been anywhere else?"
 Patient: T went to see the chemist in our village
 Dentist: And what idiotic advice did he give you?''
 Patient; "He told me to come and. see you, sir."-London Opinion solietor' '(endeavoring to discover clients status): But, madam how long is 1t since you heard from your husbaAd?''
 Client Well, yer see. e left ne the day e was married, and truth is I aint card nothin of i'm since, nor wanted; eastways, I did ear casual-like that e were dead. but it may be only 'is fun Punch.
 Cook: I've arranged beef la mode for tomorrow" Mistresss q hope 1t will be still la mode by that time. ."-Pele Mele.
 POPULAR. There was a girl in our town
 No wonder she was vaint f,# A ct,i4 tore l,o
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
coming war

In the factories of New York and Mass achusetts women, girls and boys can work hereafter but 54 hours week. Nine hours a day is surely enough.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

Chairman Hillcs is actually hypnotized to the-point of believing that Mir. Taft really has a chance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

Colonel Roosevelt, alas. has no oppo- nent who tells the truth. This is indeed pathetic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

war between Christians and Moslems in the Balkan states will be an Armased- don that does not exist on paper only.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
PREPARED.

overtake you as you speed mile mir
 ute toward the grave.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
NEAR-PATRoN OF THEATRES.

Although 'tis true fife never goes, He always reads About the shows, Of every star
 A picture gets And talks at length Bout gay soubrettes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
SOMEHOW OR OTHER.
book is>a resourceful man.

"JdDUUtk Issd TtsOUTctIuI IIIdH
 Indeed he isl If lubbock were ship wrecked on desert island, I believe he would still be able to dress for dinner
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

intervention in Mexico would not only be financial madness, but it would also be poor politics.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

No one can say there is no agriculture in the Alabama state fair at Fairview.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

Beef may get setback. when rabbits are hurried to market about Christmas time
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

Governor Dix ascertained at Syracuse that he had dropped in on moving day
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

Beehive buildings call for a beehive people who will pay the rent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

New York state has gathered in in the fiscal year s2,1ss,lss from a collateral in- hcIitsnce tax.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

Sucking hope through straw vote is a waste of time and effort.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
THE TAMING OF BILLINGsGATE

Chicago is happy The steam heat has been turned on.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

Another period of four years. of public apathy will be inaugurated next month.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

Any day Is good day to register in.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

It requires a stretch of Imagination tn believe that Paris was at one time famed for its wine crop, but such is the case. In the thirteenth and fourteenth cen turies the wine of Montmartre was as eel
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05

Paris Correspondence in London Express. nARIS has only lately started a cine
 N matograph newspaper. It is called
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-05
POPULAR.

There was a girl in our town No wonder she was vaini r.M A dozen suitors helped her on Each time she caught train.
 PAUL COOK.