davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20
SAYS UNCLE GAY

Almost any kind of a place without
nogears is heaven. There's good olo
s+orv classic bv virtue Of age and ex-
ool1a,ce which goes thus: A widow still
- -,,aods betook herself to spiritual
i H. Seance and requested that she oe
osrmitted to talk to the spirit OF ner
6enarted husband, whom she mad nag
e-etI ,,nnercifully during his natural
life. The medium assented ana the hoi-
lowing conversation occurred.
) Tbe widow: Is that you, John!
Tbe shade: CNervously) Yes, Mary
Tho widow: Are you happy, Jonn:
The shade: (Stil1 nervously) YES
Mary. ,,ov, 90
like, John? IN
Haec fabula docet-that there are
verse things than fire and birthstone
and one of them is a nagging tongue.
Nagging is a sort OF nervous IIlol! 10
mania and brings forth frult aIIeL iCs
evil kind. The home of nagger my
b. ono degree more toIerable than bed
lam but no more. Whatsoever OF JOY
and e1adness might bloom naturally is
blighted and withered by LrequeilI
angry outbursts. Love ana optimism
give way to Indifference and pesslIIielll
virtue cannot live in an atmosphere
laden with hate. And nagger 1alrly
s,-oaII,s +he nicrococi of hatred.
Nageing never corrects; 1t only ae-
oravafes. 1t is a crime against nature
in that it banishes smiles, brings tears
and breaks down the nervous system OF
its victims to make way Tor o1sease.
THE home of the nagger is never
heal+hv It's occupants are victims OF
all sorts of nerve disorders from mere
III temper to neurasthenia and insanity.
They that nag, murder.
In the good old days when they ap-
piled sound and heroic remedies, the
nagger got naggers due Anu llie
World would be happier today for a re-
viyaI of the ducking stool.-(Copyright,
1912 by the Mcclure Newspaper Syndi-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20
GLOBE SIGHTS
BIZ THE ATCEusoN GLOBE

A bluff is fine thing until it is called.
Most kicks are like heat lightning ana
the appendix
1t is also necessary to know something
about a farm to earn money out or one
When a restaurant man says he had
bis, dinner he means he had a big number
to eat it.
A man who thinks he must smoke 10
cent cigars merely to keep up appear
ances won't last long
Not everyone is after the money, but
as a general average, the professional Is
superior to the amateur in his line
One hears lot about fast mail trains
but the man waiting for a letter is III
cIined to class them with the other myth
ology.
People on land are terribly afraid of
deep water and icebergs. 1t is the dan
gers that are near and apt to hurt that
we get used to.
Not many criminals are apprehended by
the finger print system, but 1t is doubt
less more reliable than the fierce Siberian
bloodhoundS.
Careful cultivation of a sense of humor
may some day enable us to the joke
when an actor says damn, but we don't
get it yet
Perhaps, however, the narrow mlnc
prompts much of the kicking against the
narrow gauge skirts; SO many worse
wrongs need righting.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20
A RIVER SONG.


Old Father Thames, how many poets
loudly
Have hymned your stream. a brithe,
melodious throngi
Spenser. for instance; hear him chanting
Sweet Thames! run softly till emo
my song"
I. too. invoke the Muse to give you greet
CThough not poet of the olden school.
fleeing,
And spotiess boating flannels are the
rule.
Far have I wandered in this land Of
Cul1ed dusky lilies from the drOwsy
Meme,
BY Tamars shadowy bends where foliage
quivers
Have held sweet converse with the
Fairy Queen;
Climbed the steep cliffs of Wye. and
plucked moon-daisies
From Medways peaceful banks at
earliest morn,
Followed calm Severn in her leamy mazes
And tracked the murmuring Ouse mid
ripening corn.
Yet, Father Thames, whose winding wa
with FURNISHED light at lavish summer
noon,
Or break to golden arabesques each glim-
n1er :. -
OF star and Pickering lantern meath the
For You these stranger-loves are all for
saken;
1 hear your call. see your reckoning
And back to your broad bosom gently
NV queen and shall float to Fairyland!
-Papillon, in London World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Many friends start on vacations to-
gether, but they come back enemies
Applause is rated by many people
at considerable beyond it's value.
u * n
A woman's idea of having her own
way is to order the ways OF all her
relatives.
Occasionally, you'll find a meek soul
who is thankful to get even little the
worst of it.
1t being bad form these days for
men to wear jewels, maybe that's why
the politicians now have such nttle
use for consistency.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20
HUMOR or TIE DAY

''I am always frightened when see an
automobile yes: but think how you d
feel If the auto should start, dodge, run
back, go ahead full speed and then
swerve all of which the pedestrian usual
" does."-Louisville Courier-Journal
(covly)-Well, tit may be one of the sfuz
of ornission.-Boston Transcript.
He-Do you think kissing is a sin? She
Teacher-Spring showers bring forth
what, Tommie? Tommie - Umbrellas,
ma ,-Yonkers Statesman.
laxative man What do you use7'' asked
a Iaconic listener, "a barrel or a tub2''-
Chicago Record-Herald.
ct wouldn't objeck to de man dat keeps
taIlxin' all de time" said Uncle Eben, III
he didn't insis' on throwing in a question
every ten minutes or so dat you's got to
answer to show you's keepin' awake
Washington Star.
willie" said the misery old uncle,
'how would you feel II I gave you a
quarter?'' WELL confessed while, 'soc
course, at first I should feel faint. but IA
try very hard to get over t.'-New York
Herald.
Here is a button on and there is an
other. have no clean collars, and my
vest is full of grease spots. What would
you advise me 10 do?'' why, get mar
RED" Heaven on earthi / am married.
Blaetter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicaeo NeWs-l

IFrom the Chicago News.I
It's a poor rule that won't work your
way.
A woman can belive anything she wants
to believe
as an express agent.
Prize fighters are very much in evidence
at whist party.
Your opinion of man depends a great
deal on his estimate OF you
It's easier 70 get people to listen to ad-
vice than 1t is to induce them to use II
A spinster is a woman who has run
away from the men, or has run after
them.
Sometimes it happens that a woman mas
reason to be thankful because of her hIis
bands neglect.
It's awfully hard for woman to pra-
tend not to know the things she knows
she ought not to know.
Trying to guess who it is when the teIe-
phone bell rings provides the AVERAGE
woman with lot OF excitement
When a girl finally discovers her ideal
man it's up to her to tame him ana MAJ
a husband of him-if she can.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20
MEN WHO STAY THEIR FELLOWS.

When, within little more than an
hour, in a New York state prison,
seven convicted murderers, one after
another, were put to death, the coun-
try shuddered. The execution of one
man, or even two, would have attract
ed little attention, but, illogical as it
undoubtedly was, the public could not
but feel that in the legal, cold FLOODED
killing of seven a butchery had takeu
place.
Yet what is the other side of the
case? The statistics gathered by the
American prison association show that
in the United States, including it's de-
Tendencies, thirty persons are muir
dered every day. In the city of New
York, during the month of July, there
was killing every day. During July,
last year, in the same city, there were
119 unlawful homicides. In London,
which has a population more than
half again as large as New York, there
were only nineteen murders in July,
last year. Chicago, in 1909, had 118
killings, as against twenty for Lon
don, a city over three times as large.
The cause of this disparity is not
that more liquor is consumed in pro-
portion to population in the cities of
this country than in London. Gov
eminent statistics show that the con-
trary is true. There is only one pos
sible explanation. In England the
laws are enforced as rigidly and
promptly as possible and without re-
gard to persons or political pull 1t
is exceedingly difficult for a man who
Stays another to escape capture, and
when caught he is quickly convicted
and the penalty of his crime is in
flicted on him. The laxness of law
enforcement in this country, partic-
Tlarly upon those guilty of murder
is so great and general that it con-
stitutes national scandal.
Public sentiment in favor of abol-
ishing capital punishment is undoubt-
edly growing. The CHASTITY record
just made in New York will give it
new force and volume. But unless
there is a very radical change for the
better in the enforcement of the law,
the doing away with the death pen
atty will surely swell the country's
annual murder record to proportions
more startling than it has already
reached.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

And the negroes in the south, who
were denied participation in the Bull
Moose national convention merely be-
cause of their color, must have read
with great enthusiasm the news that
Colonel Roosevelt dined the other day
with some of their northern brethren
in Rhode Island. Still, the colonePs
dual attitude on the negro question is
not so inexplicable as it might appear
at first glance. In the north the ne
gro has a vote. In the south, he
hasn't.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20
DAFFYDHS
BY o. NoALL.

If cobble-stone can roll can a
Couack, auack, says the duck.)
smart guy. .aAmos who?'' queried
back the nibbIer at the bait. Amos
quito -
(Ten dollars and ten days, for tnat.)
When soldiers are engaged in battle
how much does the canncnade2
(No, John, you're wrong. That's
not her own complexion.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

and a bIare of trumpets is impossible.
However, it will be difficult to en-
courage the social crusaders to go
about their business in a quiet and
effective manner. They love the lime
light too well. Reformers would be
few and far between if there was no
chance for them to obtain much per-
fectly grand and righteous notoriety.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20
RY THE WAY
~ nAwwrew pAuaoNa.


Oscar Swayze has chopped off a
generous portion of his moustache.
Upon application. we will file a COM
pls int against Il nj for defacing cotaty
property.
City," says Hondo Murphy, II noticed
that the Wave of Reform has sloshed
,, or that burg. The foot ra1i has Dctn
abolished
Phil Billiard was still out Of the
hands of the undertaken when TINS
was written, bu. he has paid one -
the penalties of the aviato-. de nas
been not only written up. but caleu
bird man" three times in live Sticks
of copy.
And, as for The story os the 5. hon
eymoon, would say in part: 1t was no
record. Many honeymoons do not last
long enough to spend two Dones al
ter squaring it with the parson.
Kindly add to the list of come backs
the Kaw team. The Kaw team Can
come back Nothing but a protractea
washout could prevent the kaW team
from coming back when series Is
scheduled for the home grounds.
Some local gent pays for the privl-
Iege of sending us, by postage caro-,
the suggestion that the feminine of bull
moose should be COW moose. he may
be right; he may be right.
Col. Roosevelt has happy way OF
fixing things. He eats dinner with Two
coIored gents to square himself Witn
the several millions of colored gems
whom he insulted at his hand picked,
family cured convention. Most am
of the moth eaten old Southen cum
nels would do the same for the same
vote. The difference is that the aver
age colored man is easily buncoed. and
the bull mooser will probably put II
over.
When you overhear man asking
woman for s'iust one-please, dear, u
is unsafe to jump at conclusions. II
thew are unmarried. he may be trying
to corner kiss; If married, the
chances are good that he is trying 70
get dollar of the weeks wages no
tnrned over to her Saturday n1gh.
1t is our private guess that the IN IN
der dog gets. the best end or tne
svmpathy Just because he does the pls
end of the bowling.
The Bible tells US that Wnen sn ~
ton on one cheek, we should turn the
other. But so far as the Bible IS con-
cerned. the movements OF the man
snaitten on the nose is maller u
personal choice.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

gub@ca Gbers of tho State Journal
AWAY from home during the summer
may have the paper mailed regularly
zach day to any address at the rate OF
ten cents a week or thirty cents a
month (by nail only. Address
changed as often as desired. While
out of town the State journal Will be
tn you like daily letter from home
Advance payment Is requested on
these short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping excuses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20
REFIECT1oNs OF a BACHELOR
IFrom the New Yorl

TF'rom the New York Press.J
A girl that doesn't ever giggle is dan
gerously worldly wise
what he is voting on Is he can't ex-
plain it
It's better to have a chance at small
profit soon enough than at a big one too
he dangerous thing about marrying a
very little woman is she has such very
big opinions
The splendid thing about mans living
in the country is when he has an excuse
for staying in town overnight.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

Now that the women of several
states enjoy full suffrage and those in
a number of other states are about to
have it extended to them, all of the
politicians, big and little, from presi-
Dental candidates down, are welcom-
ing women into politics with open
arms. Matters were not always like
this though
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

Gertrude Atherton probably has a
new novel in the making OF she would
not be so keen for the notoriety and
free advertising she is getting by
stumping California for Woodrow
Wilson. Miss Atherton was never very
active in politics before and it may be
that her vogue as a novelist has been
en- the decline of late.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

Chicago's park commissioners are
cruel lot. They have forbidden wo-
men from wearing high-heeled shoes
on the public go1f-courses. How, pray
tell, can a woman show off her
dainty feet while tripping over the
links in shoes that are minus heels
It's preposterous.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

1t must be that this old earth isn't
Euch a bad place, after all. A Missis-
tippi woman says that she went to the
gates of heaven and was admitted by
st. Peter, and she came back.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

There seems to be some hope for
England which has been tied up with
cricket for centuries. One of the la
dies of that land, who is of distin-
guished title, declares that the great
American game of baseball is per
fectIy ripping''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

Inasmuch as the gifted Helen KEEL
Ter can talk and sing in three Ian
guages, isn't it about time to cease re-
ferring to her as the blind, deaf and
dumb girl? She is blind and deaf but
she can scarcely be characterized as
being dumb
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

Mrs. Boney Headington, of Oakland,
Calf, who expressed much indignant
surprise the other day when the
right of her husband to beat her was
questioned, would have a most suit
able name if the "ington'' were left
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

Rose Stahl, one of the prominent
actresses of this country, appears to
be among the few who put art above
coin. She has refused an offer of
$4,000 a week to do little stunt on
the vaudeville stage
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

What is the use of cultivating an
Intellectual fad if it cannot be put to
practical use? The wife of a Dem
yer millionaire is suing for aIimony
because her husbands astral body
visits the spirit of. CIeopatra.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

If Clarence Darrow is prosecuted
again on another charge of attempt
ing to bride another of the Mona
mara jurors, won't it SAVIOR just a
rifle of persecution?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

Lillian Russell says that walking in
the rain is good for the complexion.
But surely this does not apply to COM
plexions of the talcum powder va
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

AS President Taft SO emphatically
points out, candidates for office are
dishonest who stay on the Republi-
can ticket and work and vote against
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

Maybe that effort of the Los An
geles councilmen to abolish free
lunches there was only another slap
1t the Anarchists in their midst.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

A Philadelphia grand jury appears
to be blessed with some sound sense.
II contends that the suppression of
vice with q beating of the tom-toms
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

Madge-Isn't that very small ham,
mock you're taking with you on your va
cation? Marjorie-Oh, it will hold two at
a soueeze.-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

The fault-finder should marry a deaf
woman, the f1irt a woman who's blind
Florida Times-Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20
HOW SPEED MANIA WAS CURED.

Not all persons upon becoming the
owner of a motor vehicle imagine the
price paid for the machine includes
ownership of the streets. but a good
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

Phil Billiard was still out of the
hands of the undertaken when TINS
was written, bu. he has paid one -
the penalties of the aviato-. de naS
been not only written up. but called
bird man. three TIMES in live sticks
of copy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is 3 member Of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
ganfxation for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka
The news is received In The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pnr-
Doaa.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

SMALLER DOLLAR Bulls.

Uncle Sam is going to economic by
reducing the size of dollar bills. OF
course it will be the same dollar value
but will be two-thirds the size of the
present bill. The saving on paper, ink
and cost of printing thereby effected
VIII amount to about. $4,000 a year.
That will more than pay the presi
dents salary. In addition to the
economy feature in a smaller bill, It
is claimed that the public will be
benefited. The small bill will be more
fusion and mistakes. OF course all Of
this will soon be proven by actual test
when the new bills appear. So long
as the purchasing power is not less
ened, the size is not of much import
ance one way or the other to the pTi-
vate citizen.-Minneapoli Better Way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20
sMALL TALK.

Small talk is the small change OF
life; there is no getting on without It.
There are times when a little nonsense
is very palatable, and gravity and Sc
dateness ought to be kicked down
stairs. philosopher cuts a poor
figure in q ballroom unless he leaves
his wisdom at home. We have met.
with men who were too lofty for small
talk They were abov5 such trifing;
in other words they were above making
themselves agreeable, above pleasing
AND above. being pleased. The world is
made up of t-ifies: and he who. can
tribe elegantly and gracefully is a val
VA bic acquisition to mankind. He IS
a Corinth1an column in the fabric Of
society.-Grainfield Cap Sheaf.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

And, as for The story os the So hon
eymoon, would say in part: 1t was no
record. Many honeymoons DO not last
long enough to spend two bones at
ter squaring it with the parson.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

During my last visit in Kansas
City," says Hondo Murphy, II noticed
that the Wave of Reform has sloshed
}, or that burg. The foot rail has been
abolished
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

Oscar Swayze has chopped off a
generous portion of his moustache
Upon application. we will file com
plF int against n nj for defacing co.Iaty
property.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

Kindly add to the list of come backs
the Kaw team. The Kaw team CAN
come back Nothing but protracted
washout could prevent the kaw team
from coming back when series Is
scheduled for the home grounds.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

Some local gent pays for the privi-
lege of sending us, by postage caro-,
the suggestion that the feminine OF Dull
moose Should be COW moose. He may
be right; he may be right.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-08-20

The RibIe tells US that when srnIt-
ton on one cheek, we should turn the
other But SO far as the Bible is con-
cerned. the movements of the mar
smitten on the nose is a matler %
personal choice.
Evening journal., 1912-06-25
pI.r..Ir, Ideal Of er.asnea..

When Disraeli was curly and smart
and comparatively unknown he visited
the Royal Exchange OF Liverpool In
company with Duncan Stewart. a lead
ing merchant OF the city. It was at
high noon. and the exchange vas
thronged by merchants. Tho scene so
impressed the young member Of paria-
ment that he said to Mr. Stewart:
MY ideal of greatness would be that
a man should receive the applause OF
such an assemblage as this-that he
should be cheered as he came into this
room"
Disraeli went in and came out un-
noticed, but several years later he
again visited the Liverpool exchange
in company with Mr.. Stewart His en-
trance was greeted by a cheer which
spread into roar and ended In an ova-
tion. The testimony to his political
prominence deeply moved Disraei.
who. recalling to Mr.. Stewart the re-
marx he had made years before. said,
MY ideal test of greatness has been
realized"
Evening journal., 1912-06-25
CECILTON

Special to THE EVENING JOURNAL.
CECILTON. Md, June 25-Mr. and
Mrs. j. w Taylor are in Baltimore
to attend the wedding of their son.
Millard f. Taylor and Miss Inez
Dietz, which will take place on We'd
nesday.
Mrs Edna Smith, OF Harrington,
visited friends here last week
Miss Georgia Walmsley has been
visiting her aunt, Mrs. Davis, in Ches-
tertown and attended the commence
ment exercises at Washington Col
lege.
Mrs. William NJ. Mullen, Of near
Port Penn. visited her sisters, the
Misses Mccoy, last week
Mrs. Mollie Manlove was q recent
visitor with Middletown friends.
Misses Ruth and Mary Hardesty
have been entertaining seaforc
friends.
Mrs. w Freeman. Of Philadelphia
has been staying al the home Of II
W. Black, who has been very I'll.
r. c. Pearoe and Edgar Pesrce Wis
tied relatives here last week.
Mr.. and Mrs. ]. T. Watts and Mrs
J. H. Black we're in Baltimore las
week attending the commencement
exercises at the Normal School
Miss Iona Benson. OF Earlsville, Wis
tied friends here last week.