Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1912-12-06
TYRANNY OF HER
DAUGHTER-IN-LAW

.
hostess, "I1l admit that I'm suffering
from an overdose of daughter-in-law.
A certain amount is mental stimulus
too much simply stultifies.
Frances, my son Arthur's wife,
came to visit me just at the time all
we'll regulate housekeepers think they
have to 90 through the deadening
process known as housecleaning." she
went on. "Now, don't breathe 1t to
a soul but never clean house. l cer-
, tainly try to keep things nice and
comfortable, but my natural instinct
is to avoid dirt. My attitude is that
| II it will leave me alone | will leave
it alone.
"Who minds a little dust under the
beds and In the closets? l will answer
my own conundrum by telling you that
| Frances does. She Is perfectly intol-
| Grant about It, She is constantly talk,
ing about germs and microbes. Since
am confessing all my shortcomings
| will admit that | don't believe in mi
crobes, anyway. They're far too small
Frances does, though. Oh, dear, yes,
she does.
"She simply can't sit down and read
happily unless the house has been
thoroughly swept and garnished. | can
do 1t without tremor. l can leave
dishes unwashed until every dish in
the house has been used and not feel
| Qualm Frances has the dishes round
ed up and washed so quickly after
| they have been used that she leaves
you with q defrauded feeling, as
though you had been done out of part
of your meal.
"The morning after she came | saw
her eying the living room curtains,
which I must confess were not i'm
maculate.
Don't look at those curtains,
Frances I said, in my merry, light
hearted way. I know they're not very
clean, but I'm going to have the
laundress wash and iron them Mon
| day
Frances half opened her mouth,
then shut it again. | wondered at the
| time why she didn't say whatever it
was she had on her mind, but later in
| the day found out.
| "'Mother,' she said, tactfully-
Francis is very tactful--that afternoon
when we were sitting in the living
room having what considered a cozy
! little chat, I've been wondering If it
wouldn't be nicer If we should get
some curtain stretchers and stretch
[ the curtains on them instead of hav-
| ing the laundress wash and iron them
ITO make long story short, she
| dragged me downtown that very after
noon and we bought curtain stretch
ers. The next morning, with her own
/ hands, she washed those curtains, oh,
there Is no doubt that she Is wonder
! full. I stand in the greatest awe of
any one who can wash things clean. |
never could. They're always much
worse when | finish with them than
| when | began.
after the curtains were arranged
! to suit her happened to mention that
| had some material which | intended
to make into comforters when the
spirit moved me. Again speaking
metaphorcally, she fell upon that ma
terial tooth and nail. Then for days
she and | struggled and perspired
amid pillows of cotton.
when one morning she accidental
| ly opened the door of the chamber of
horrors | thought she was going to
| faint. The chamber OF horrors, by the
way, is the room into which 1t is the
time honored custom of the family
to pitch everything that the family
wishes to rid itself Of Personally, l
get along very nicely by simply shut
| ting my eyes, opening the door slight
! ly and shying in the article. Then
after the door Is shut I have no fur
ther qualms. But Frances got quite
white when she looked in. She made
me feel-she did it tactfully-that no
decent, self-respecting woman could
exist in a house with a chamber of
horrors. So together we pulled and
hauled and worked and suffered and
threw things away and had a perfect
ly horrible time generally, but we fine
ly emerged in that pathetic and
despicable condition called "as neat as
a PIN
"It took us days to do 1t and we
We're both nearly dead when we got
through. But the very next morning
after we finished, If you can believe
me, found her with her head out of
the window and the air of hound
that is just getting the scent. She was
listening to a vacuum cleaner that
was chugging across the street!
"'Oh, mother she said I'm going
| nj f, o ne DO
morrow
Frances l said, you will do moth
ing of the kind. l positively refuse
to be any cleaner than l am. From
now to the end Of your visit l intend
to have my kind of good time even
II there isn't a floor swept or q dish