The Prescott daily news., 1912-04-05

"Pawtah!"
 "Yassah!"
 "What time does this bally train start?"
 "Ten-thutty, sah"
 "But it's only ten now"
 "Yassah It'll be ten-thutty a lit tie later"
 Do you mean to tell me that I've got to sit hyah for half an hour-just waitin'?"
 The porter essayed another bit of irony:
 Well" he drawled. T might tell the conducta you're ready. And meb- be he'd start the train. But the time table says ten-thutty."
 He watched the effect of his satire, but it fell back unheeded from the granite dome of the Englishman, whose only comment was:
 "Oh, never mind I'll wait"
 The porter cast his eyes up in de- spair, and turned away, once more to be recalled.
 "Oh, pawtah!"
 "Yassah!"
 T think we'll put on my slippahs."
 twill we?"
 You might hand me that large bag No, stupid, the othah one. You might open it. No, it's in the othah one. An. that's it. You may set it down"
 MT Wedgewood brought forth a soft cap and a pair of red slippers. The porter made another effort to escape, his thoughts as black as his face. Again the relentless recall:
 "Oh, Fawtah, think we'll unbutton my bcols."
 He was too weak to murmur Vas sah." He simply fell on one knee and got to work.
 There was witness to his helpless rage-a newcomer, the American counterpart of the Englishman in all that makes travel difficult for the fel- low travellers. Ira Lathrop was zeal ous to resent anything short of per lection, quick and loud of complaint, apparently impossible to please
 In everything else he was the op- posite of the Englishman He was burly, middle-aged, rough, careless in attire, careless of speech-as uncouth and savage as one can well be who !s plainly man of means.
 It was not enough that a freehorn Atro-American should be caught kneel- ing to an Englishman. But when he had escaped this penance, and ad- vanced hospitably to the newcomer. he must be greeted with a snarl.
 Say, are you the porter of this car. or that mans nurse?"
 I cant tell yet. Whats yo num- ba please?"
 The answer was the ticket. The porter screwed up h1s eyes to read the pencilled scrawl
 'Numba sem. Heqh she is, boss"
 Right next to a lot of-women, I'll bet, Couldn't you put me in the mems end of the car?"
 Not vey well, suh. l reckon the cah is done sold out"
 With growl of rage, Ira Lathrop slammed into the seat his entire hand baggage, one ancient and rusty vaIise.
 The porter gazed upon him with in- creased depression. The passenger list had opened inauspiciously with two of the worst types of travellers the Anglo-Saxon race has developed.
 But their anger was not their worst trait in the porter's eyes. He was, in a limited way, an expert in human character.
 When you meet stranger you re- veal your own character in what you ask about his. With Come, the first question Is, Who are his people?" With others, What has he achieved?" With others, How much is he worth 2" Each gauges his cordiality according to his estimate.
 The porter was not curious on any of these points. He showed a demo cratic indifference to them. His one vital inquiry was:
 How much will he tip?"
 His inspection of his first two charges promised small returns. He buttoned up his cordiality, and de termined to waste upon them the ir- reducible minimum of attention.
 It would take at least a bridal couple to retsore the balance. But bridal couples in their first bloom rarely fell to the lot of that porter, for what bridal couple wants to lock it. self in with crowd of passengers for the first seventy-two hours of welded bliss?