The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1912-09-26
Captain George a. Hero.

Our own Captain George should
have a Carnegie medal. At present
he is not only the hero of the hour
but is also the hero on the spot
One day last week a picnic was given
on the banks of the muddy Sal
kahatchie. A goodly crowd was there
so also was Captain George. The
amusement for the day was boating
and bathing. For a while every
thing was lovely, but ere long some
bathers got beyond their depths, and
were in the act of drowning-three
at that, two married ladies and 3
young married man. Captain George
was on the banks at the time smok'
ing big meerschaum as complacent
ly as any Indian chief ever did the
pipe of peace in years gone by, and
no sooner than he saw these three
persons in the act of finding a watery
grave, in he jumped, pipe and all
and no Newfoundland, st. Bernard
or Spaniel ever rescued a drowning
party as quickly and nicely as did
Captain George. So quickly was i
done, that when he came out with
the three parties his pipe was still
smoking like Yule log or a vol
cano, and parties who saw him make
the rescue declare he never missed
a puff while in the water.
Now, this act kindled the fires OF
mercy in Captain George, and scent
ing danger from afar as Jobs war
horse scented battle, Captain George
was made patrol of the day, and into
a boat he got, taking with him two
young ladies, one being, however, a
merry widow-sisters Of mercy In
case of emergency. Up and down
the river went Captain, now Patrol
George in his tiny boat, with his
human freight, the aforesaid merry
widow included, and ere long cry
for help was heard down the river.
Now the way that Captain George
piled the oars was the way, the way
not only to forward the boat with
Titanic speed, but also the way to
hit the merry widow side the head
at almost every stroke, and you can
bet that "the wall of the widow was
heard in the land" so also in that
boat and on the river, too. Now,
Captain George, the patrol, wanted
order in his craft, he wanted his
ears to catch every cry for help, and
how on earth could he hear these
cries with a merry widow wailing
like mad in his own life saving boat?
Looking back upon the wailing and
bruised widow, Captain George
shouted in real sea language: Py-
py-py-py Gosh! or-or-or-order as-as-
as-astern, or I'll send for the fool
fool-fool-killer, py-py-py-py GOSH"
"Then,' meekly answered the
wailing widow, "we'll have dan
gerous pair-the fool killer, and the
widow killer. When they come both
of us must go, George and l."
However, Captain George was soon
on the spot and his help was needed
for there upon low hanging limb
over twenty feet of water was q
young girl suspended, scared almost
unto death. On one side of the river
was a more than half drowned girl
much wetter than the drowned rat,
while on the other side, upon log,
sat a very wet young man, wetter
than the mouse we read about, and
his face paler than the face of the
very pale steed that one day takes
us out of this world of woes. And
down the river was a boat turtle
like, going slowly, but surely sea-
ward, bottom up of course. But
Captain George, the patrol, and the
knight soon set things right, and
while the bruised widow was a sight
We know that by Sunday she can put
her mite in the contribution box.
And our good young friend, Ern-
est, swears by all the gods of yore,
that in swimming never more will he
go with two married ladies weighing
less than ton each, who cares not
how far from shore they lead him, or
care not how deep the water in which
they go, and they being fully as ac-
tive as anvils, carry him down as it
were to the bottomless pit. And his
young wife warns Ernest not even
to step into a mud hole in the road,
fearing it may have no bottom, and
that two rather stout married ladies
may be therein.
AS for Captain George, he now