Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-22

stole Ye Editors trousers, is requested
In the name of humanity to return
same and there will be no prose-
cution.
The Clarion won't be much Of a pa
per If we cannot get u and get the
in q horse blanket.
Hank Renfrew says when he dies
ne wants every n to be sorry he is
dead. so he is going to have the Hick-
eyville Silver Cornet Concert band play
at his funeral.
The milliners and dressmakers
have tried hard enough to rig up
costumes that no woman would have
the nerve to on the street. but
their efforts insthts direction have
been all in vain.
There amt no use in arguin' with
the old fashioned Teller who wears
sQuar spectacles and gets his weather
Outn an almanac.
1t is getting so nowadays that 1t
AXES more than q dress suit and
pair of patent leather shoes to get a
Teller into the best society, but a lot
Having a lady who is Il stranger to
your wife met you n your wife
on h street and greet you affection
ately by your first name.
Planting what you believe to be rad
ishes and having them come up sun
flowers.
AN UP-TO-DATE WOMAN.
The telephone on the weather di-
rector's desk tinkled merrily and the
official answered.
This is Mrs. Frisby talking.'' said
the voice at the other end Of the wire.
Il want to 8 you IL it is going to
rain"
rs it going to snow"
eff NAV SnNW Snrnaffmo f0dov =
think perhaps it will"
rs 1t going to soot."
"WHAT?"
II mean is there going to be an east
wind that will blow the SCOT from the
glue factory chimney over into my
Yes. the wind will be in the east
all day."
Thanks: then I will hang out my
clothes. IL you had said that 1t wasn't
going to rain n wasn't going to snow
that the wind wasn't going to
hung them out. I always put the re-
verse English on the weather predic-
lions. Much obliged; goodby."
THE SENTIMENT IN AFRICA.
The mighty lion takes the floor.
This Is the burden Of his roar,
Il am for Taft, not T~heoAore."
The rhino rises to remark:
For II. II. l have not a spark
OF love. Wood Wilson hits the mark"
The hippo says that he sees red
Whene'er a single word is said
That even slightly favors Ted.
The giraffe speaks and says: s far
AS I'm concerned he's not at par.
rms candidate they call T.. R."
The elephant says although he
L. brother OF dc G. O. p.
The colonel he can never see.
Down to the humble mountain goat,
Spake all the animals Of note.
And Teddy didn't get a vote.
Though Roosevelt may make his stand
And whoop nor up to beat the band.
There's no support in Jungle land.
IN ENGLAND.
Just a little brickbat.
Just q little pane.
Just q little suffraget
Back In jail again.
A DRAwMA.
ACT I.
Hero by the name of Hal
Loves a simple country gal.
Shes a peach. Her name is Sal:
Wed that miss, he surely shall.
william wants the maiden much,
Has her father in his clutch,
Mortgage on the farm and such.
Old mars cheerful as a crutch.
ACT II.
William says IL she don't wee
He'll f~oreclose the old homestead.
Hero hasn't got a red.
To the altar Sal is led.
Just before the words are spoke
Hero yells: Il know his bloke:
He's a slicker n he's broke;
Him or me has got to croak."
ACT III.
Villain steals the gal away,
He'll wed her another day;
Ties the hero. poor young Jay,
To the railroad rightof way.
Heroine. she gets a knife,
Cuts TIE ropes and saves his life.
Then there comes the deadly strife,
To see which shall; win the wife.
ACT ".
Then there ccmes the boxin' bout,
And the husky country lout
knocks the villain good and out,
And he y She's mine. by krout."
Hal says: Though you done me wrong,
Now to me you do belong
Pastor sounds the welding gong,
Life Is then n glad sweet song.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
I don't believe thai it will make much
difference to me
Who is 'lected president this year.
1t will not change my prospects, not
so far as l kin see.
I haven't got a single hope or fear.
Republican or democrat I do not raise