The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1912-05-30
On the Grocer's Phone.
OPTIMISM IN THE MORNING, GLOOM
AT NIGHT.
From the Christian Herald. |

anu S1oSSiy oNoiS Pl Iol llC udy .
business. Johnny, his one assistant in
the shop, has just come, manifesting
symptoms of an unfinished sleep.
Mr.. Smart wraps his white apron
around him and smiles gleefully. ''It's
a great world, Johnny; don't you feel
happy?' he asks cheerfully.
LAS happy as caught fish," answers
the boy petulantly.
''Oh brace up. The world was m ade
to be happy in. Start the day by feeling
good toward every one. | feel like |
could love my worst enemy, and -"
The telephone rings.
''1s that Smart grocery store?" asks
voice on the wire.
Eyes, ma'am. What can l do for
your
''Do for me! You just wait till you
get chance to do anything for me again.
You charged me twelve cents more for
eggs yesterday than you did a week ago.
Do you think III stand for any such i'm
position as that?''
But, madam, let me explain; the
market price -
Explain nothing. l don't want to
talk to you any more" Bang!
My! Did you ever hear of such 2
Woman?"
Thought you said you could love your
worst enemy" comments Johnny.
The telephone rings again. "Is that
Mr. Smart?''
Eyes, ma am
Il want half-dozen eggs right away;
! haven't thing in the place for break
fast; Mrs. Jones; yes. But listen here
those last eggs you sent me weren't
fresh"
They We're fresh eggs, Mrs. Jones,
just like | always have"
Please don't argue, Mr.. Smart. |
never like to have any one contradict
me. How long before can get the eggs?
1t must be right away.
Jones. -
81 don't care if l am. l do all my
trading with you. My account last month
was S22, and if you can't accommodate
me once, I'll get another grocer.
'Oh, there's no need of doing that
I'll send your eggs Hangs up the
recovery Accommodate her once
humph. | wonder if grocer could keep
her trade a week without accommodating
her half-dozen times day!'
Another ring of the telephone ''Mr.
Smart, this is Mrs. Bradley. must have
a box of oatmeal for breakfast Please
send it right away"
Sorry, but the wagons getting ready
to go about mile the other way, Mrs.
Bradley, and it may be a halt-hour be-
fore ] can get it to you.
THAT is preposterous. Why can't you
send your clerk with it,"
Impossible, He's got to fix up the
early orders"
81 never heard Of such grocery store
in my lifeH' "a grating sound as the
receiver is slammed on its hook.)
''Ob, Mr.. Smart, " says the next voice,
this is Mrs. Lewis. Can you get me a
pound of butterine over right away? I've
got the toast already on; SO it must come
right away"
How can l get a pound of butterine
over there by the time your toast is
broWn?'
'Well, if you can't do it, you need not
send your solicitor around any NOR. I'm
tired of being refused accommodation. "
And to think; there's a woman I've
treated with all kinds of consideration, -"
Mr.. Smart soliloquizes, despairingly. "a
tire chance grocer has of getting his
customers affections"
''You love al t o5e people, don't your"
leases Johnny from the front of the
storr.
Another ring. as that you, Mr.. Smart,
This is Mrs. Jones again want some
bacon sent with my eggs. j"
"4 our eggs are on the way"
ION the way? Why, | must have the
bacon. Can't you send the boy in the
store with it?''
No, ma am, | can't spare him."
Wen, you ought to nave more clerks. -
S all can do to pay the one, MUIR
murs Mr.. Smart
Il advise you to improve your SER
vice. Good-by." with sternness.)
Mr.. Smart, you d better come and talk
to this lady; she says you cheated her."
calls Johnny.
What next?" the grocer asks him
self, struggling with his philosophy.
Look here, Mr.. SIN TT, l don't let
anybody take advantage of me, and
that's just what you have done," ex
claims the angry woman in the store
whats the trouble?" meekly in
quires Mr.. Smart
Il have been buying tomatoes for ten
cents can for years and yesterday you
had twelve cents on my ticket"
''Have to do it, Mrs. Clancy The to-
mato crop was short this year and the
price is up, pay $1.35 a dozen and |
make gross profit of nine cents dozen.
So I'm not piling up any wealth on the
canned tomatoes SELL
you can't tell me that's all the profit
you make. You grocers are getting rich
with these high prices" is her parting
shot.
''She ought to have to pay the expen-
ses; she'd change her mind" observes
Mr.. Smart as the telephone rings again.
''Hello!" says the voice. "That sack
of flour you sent me was short in weight,
and | refuse to pay for it. Yes; Mrs.
Smith,
'Ill send you another. Good"
But wait minute. That can of cof-
fee lacked more than an inch of being
full"
can right, Mrs. Smith, I'll send an
other can of coffee, too"
Il must have them right away"
every woman thinks we've got
horse and wagon waiting at the door to
deliver her stuff the instant it's tele-
phoned for" observes the grocer, land
if they pay few cents more than they
did when they came and got their goods
they cry out about the high cost of liv-
ing"
''Mr. Smart" chimes in a voice on the
telephone, "do you know, two of the
dozen eggs you sent me were broken,
and I'm sure that steak wasn't good