The Washington bee., 1912-02-24

chairman of the Black Hague Tribune,
is right there with his salve and Glue.
But there amt never mean inten-
ton that ever fastcns its grip on
Kelly. He's absolutely without evil !
intent or sinister design.
Washington is the grazing ground
for more young, middle aged and old
bachelors than any other province.
There are so many bachelors here
that it is really pathetic for the dear
girls. The over-prOduction OF bache-
lors is just killing all the social tunc-I
tons | asked one old, SCARED vet-l
eran of the bachelor army the other
day what caused him to hug his hre-l
hearth and his bedtick all by his
lonesome, and he said that most OF
the married men in this town were
working for the ten percenters, and
he just figured it out that by renting
a hall room at five dollars month,
eating two meals a day, and accepting
all free invitations 10 functions where
they served something, he could man
age TO escape arrest for debt. But
all these bachelors, while they tell
you they don't want to be married,
never will get married, and regard
fellow who gets married as an over
ripe lobster, yet every one of them
has employed a secret service man to
find them a girl who has the green
goods in ample quantity to keep them
in clover. A few days ago | slipped
this advertisement IN a matrimonial
\ /
woman, possessed OF average educa-
ton and culture, and of $4,000 in her
own name, desires to correspond with
some promising ColOred man with a
view OF matrimOny Address Fifty
/ Thousand, care this paper" Well,
you ought to have seen nv mail. Doc
Sum WOrmley, "a karat bachelor, sent
a pink perfume5 note saying: I'm in
on the deal Money talks Jim Cobb
wired his acceptance, stating contract
! goes forward by first mail. Doc. Har-
rison wrote. Just what I've beer
waiting for" DR.. Board wrote
= Hurry and give me your name, NeeC
the money in my drug business
Nevel Thomas communicated this
UOn't care what is your age, weight
education, color or size, that htty
thousand sounds good to me" DICl
T. Henderson, Rip Van Wrinkle like, rub
7 bed his eyes, and then sent on this
} "Yau certainly look good to me, ever
5 though far away I'm on. Writ
5 quick" Ralph Stewart wrote: Jus
5 about to begin practice of medicine
I You sure will be a great help to me
l need you, honey, yes l do" Roya
} Hughes sent a lock of his hair an
. six photos, showing him in six differ
2 ent suits; Louis Gregory wrote: -
= will even renounce my interest IN tn
e Bahai fakersmith for you and you
= money" Willie Richards, who lobe
t his Uranium to one side, said he'd tax
a long shot at the $4,000 beaut; Wi
Pollard dictated a long letter sayin
e that he owned a black horse of uT
= certain age, and a cart, and that h
0 would ride her out every evening fC
e a peep at her bank account; StantO
e Wormley declared, i'll a fervid lette
5 that he would quit the country, abaT
e don his incubators for the lady low
0 with fifty thousand Dlunks; DR.. Wi
n Davis wrote a note, on which he was
c ed an ounce of perfume, saying
c You and your fifty thousand IS til
e only thing that will tear me ava
i from my drug store; You sure ca
It tear me" George Scott, carrying
e burden of about sixty years, wrOt
e that he was a clipper lad who cOul
p make a home happy for fifty plunket
E And even Howard Williams. baChelC
r since the war Of 1872, sent a quIC
el message that he felt just as young ;
II a three-year-Old, and was JOhnny-Ol
h the spot Prof Bassett offered h
y good looks, pOmpOsity and erudit
o ness in exchange for the mon Will
n. Mitchell, the iron-gray percherC
/ from Ohio, wrote that he was alWa.
= 4 prime favorite in a fifty thOusaT
5, go-as-you-please. Doc. Bud Gaskil
,e said he would stop pulling teeth
E live with this alleged heiress, al
II Dr. TignOr VIII Ferguson, Johnn
4 Cromwell and long list OF 9th
r. bachelors answered the advertis
d ment, showing that all OF them a
r. ready to quit the lonesome act for
)t girl who has got the real doe. / 10
t. got to say that DR.. VIII HOwa
.g sent a photograph Of himself.
s. Adams said he could talk in sew,
al languages for fifty thousand. and evt
Id Martin. who runs the Northwest Ca
III said he was anxious to quit the re
lie taurant business anyhow, and thoug
st this would be his golden opportunit
a Every bachelor got in the game, al
$ a few Struggling widowers brought
he the rear.
es WESTERN NEWS.