The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1912-06-20
The Man
That Figured
n AT nfIhn
BY M. QUAD
Copyright, 1912, by Associated Lit
erary Press.

hTrlfeu III the FllldSe OF OdKVlle ant
told the landlord of the tavern that b,
wanted rest and might stay for cou
pie Of months.
At the end Of three weeks the village
constable. the justice of the peace, the
leading merchant and others had sort
of meeting at which it was resolved
that a stranger that wouldn't tell al
about himself was probably hiding
from the law. This resolution was
handed to Mr.. Harper by the constable
and after reading it two or three times
the newcomer carelessly said:
II kinder want rest and kinder
want to figger something out"
But we don't like 1t. We don't like
It," announced the man of the law.
''Well, dunno what you are going to
do about it."
Neither did the constable nor any
body else. Mr.. Harper paid his board
every Saturday night in good and law
full money, and IL he was a fugitive
from justice he didn't do any skulking.
Soon after he had been told what the
public thought of him he bought a
tape line at one OF the stores. OF course
the clerk that sold 1t to him asked him
what he was going to do with 1t, but
Mr.. Harper refused to give out any in
formation whatever. This nearly re-
suited in another public meeting. But
for the fact that the man was seen
measuring the distance from the school
house to the bridge the meeting would
have been held and at least three diff
ferent resolutions adopted.
And the next day Mr.. Harper meas
ured the distance between the tavern
and mudhole hundred feet away.
A day elapsed. 1t was spent by Mr..
Harper in figuring. and he took great
care that his figures should not be seen
by others. Deacon Smythe had al
ways had great good luck in pumping
strangers. and he was called upon to
exercise his talents on the man of mys-
terry. He took seat beside him on the
tavern veranda and began:
''Mr. Harper, this town of Oakville
is inhabit by plain people"
YES"
I'VE have nothing to conceal"
"N-o."
"Then / shall expect you TO answer
a few questions concerning yourself.
Where do you come from?"
II believe they call the place Hades
row, but that hasn't changed the tenn
perature anyf'
"Sir! Sirl This to mer' shouted
Deacon Smythe.
please don't bother mel want to
fgger."
When 1t became known how Deacon
Smythe had been turned down that
second public meeting was held. The
resolutions were bold and red hot The
landlord must give Mr.. Harper notice
to quit. He must also make oath as
to what suspicious things he had OBJ
served. Mr.. Harper must tell why he
came to Oakville instead of stopping
at Mount Ivy. He must also make
clean breast of the tapeline and meas.
uring affair. If not But he must
The committee named proceeded to the
hotel and reached the place Just as
Mr.. Harper returned from measuring
the distance between the cooper shop
and the frog pond.
"Sirp' said the undertaken, who was
chairman by virtue of having the |
deepest voice. I'VE must know all
about you or there will be conse-
quences. For one thing the landlord
will turn you out"
Then he'll get suit for damagesw
was the reply.
But. sir, 1t is consensus of opinion |
that you are a-a"-
Suspicious character?"
"Yes-ah-yes. Yes, sir, that Is It."
Thanks. Tomorrow will begin suit |
against each and every one of you"
That shot told. The committee left,
and. the landlord had nothing to say,
and for three days men shivered when
they thought Of damage suits. Then
Mr.. Harper packed his trunk and left
In leaving he placed written ex-
PLANTATION in the landlords hands to be
read 10 all interested parties. 1t read
as follows:
THE distance from the schoolhouse
10 the bridge is Just 200 feet and z
inches. What was figuring on was
the distance 1t would be If about forty
old soakers and lazybones in this town
had to let whisky alone and go to
work.
1.-THE distance between the tavern
and the mudhole down the street,
which has been a mudhole for forty
years, is just ninety-seyen feet and
four and a half inches. ] was fgur-
ing on how a shovelful of that mud
could get into the cofteepot every
at breakfast.
1.-THE distance between the cooper
shop and the frog pond is exactly 234
feet and / inch. What I was figuring
on was how much less II would be IL
all the bullfrogs came ashore and
helped the people of the town to poke
their noses into knotholes to try to find
put other peoples business.
"I was going to measure the dis
lance between Squire Hampton's spot
ted dog and Deacon Smythe's onion
bed, but not wishing the community to
suffer agony ! have determined to
take my departure"
The above explanations went from
- A. nam and Fror, ho,on &n hnt,aA I