Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1912-08-08


ize a clearinghouse of off-color stories.
The doctor listened in spite of him.
self, and in spite of himself he was
amused, for stories that would be
stupid if they were decent, take on a
certain verve and thrill from their
very forbiddenness.
The dear old clergyman felt that 1t
would be priggish to take fight, but
he could not make the corners of his
mouth behave. Strange twitchings of
the lips and little steamy escapes of
giggle-jets disturbed him. And when
Ashton, who was a practiced racon.
teur, finished a drolatic adventure
with the epilogue, And the next
morning they were at Niagara Falls
the old doctor was helpless with laugh.
ter. Some superior force, the devil
no doubt, fairly shook him with glee.
"Oh, that's bully" he shrieked, 81
haven't heard a story like that for
ages"
Why, where have you been, DR..
Temple?" asked Ashton, who could
nv lLldSiuC q man NOulu We
concealed himself from such stories
But he laughed loudest of all when
the doctor answered: you see, live
in Ypsilanti. They don't tell me
stories like that"
"They-who?" said Fosdick.
why, my pa-my patients" the
doctor explained, and laughed so hard
that he forgot to feel guilty, laughed
so hard that his wife in the next room
heard him and giggled to Mrs. Whit,
comb:
Listen to dear Walter. He hasn't
laughed like that since he was "a
medical student" Then she buried
her face guiltily in book.
Wasn't it good?" DR.. Temple de-
manded, wiping his streaming eyes
and nudging the solemn-faced English.
man, who understood his own nations
humor, but had not yet learned the
Yankee quirks.
Wedgewood made hollow effort at
laughter and answered: Extremely
very droll, but what | don't quite
get was-why the porter said" T.
others drowned him in a roar of laugh
ter, but Ashton was angry. why, you
blamed fool, that's where the joke
cane in. Don't you see, the bride
groom said to the bride" then he
lowered his voice and diagramed the
story on his fingers.
Mrs. Temple was still shaking with
sympathetic laughter, never dreaming
what her husband was laughing at.
She turned to Mrs. Whitcomb, but
Mrs. Whitcomb was still glazing at
Mrs. Wellington, who was still writ
ing with flying fingers and underscor-
ing every other word.
Some. people seem to think they
own the train" Mrs. Whitcomb ragged.
That creature has been at the writ
ing desk an hour. The worst Of 1t is,
I'm sure she's writing to my hus-
band"
Mrs. Temple looked shocked, but an
other peal Of laughter came through
the partition between the male and fe-
male sections of the car, and she
beamed again. Then Mrs. Wellington
finished her letter, glanced It over, adj
dressed an envelope, sealed and
stamped 1t with a elaboration that
maddened Mrs. Whitcomb. When at
last she rose, Mrs. Whitcomb was in
the seat almost before Mrs. yelling
ton was out of it.
Mrs. Wellington paused at another
wave Of laughter from the mems
room. She commented petulantly:
What good times men have.
They've formed a club in there al
ready. We women can only sit around
and hate each other"
why, I don't hate anybody, do
you?" Mrs. Temple exclaimed, look
ing up from the novel she had found
on the book shelves. Mrs. Yelling
ton dropped into the next chair:
"On a long railroad journey l hate
everybody. Don't you hate long jour
ncys"
Its the first I ever took" Mrs.
Temple apologized, radiantly, and I'm
having the-what my oldest boy would
call the time of my life. And dear
Walter-such goings on for him! A
few minutes ago l strolled by the door
and l saw him playing cards with a
stranger, and smoking and drinking,
too, all at once"
Boys will be boys" said Mrs. Will
hngton.
But for DR.. Temple Of all people"
why shouldn't a doctor? It's a
shame the way men have everything.
Think of it, special smoking room.
And women have no place to take a
puff except on the sly"
Mrs. Temple stared at her in awe:
THE woman in this book smokes!-
perfumed things!"
"All women smoke nowadays" said
Mrs. Wellington, carelessly. Don't
you?"
The politest thing Mrs. Temple
could think Of in answer was: Not
yet"
Really" said Mrs. Wellington,
Don't you like tobacco?" .,
Il never tried it,
Its time you did. l smoke cigars
myself"
Mrs. Temple almost collapsed at
this double shock: "Ci-cigars?
YES; cigarettes are too strong for
me; will you try one Of my pets?"
Mrs. Temple was about to express
her repugnance at the thought, but