davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
Humor and
Philosophy
ASSERTING HERSELF.
~ DUNCAN ~. .snirs

GWE'RE Democrats at our house"
That's what pa used to say
When some one came and asked him.
My folks is built that way"
But that was when we lived back east.
Where everything was slow.
We moved to Colorado then,
And ma says, Are We thought"
"of course we are" says pa. surprised
And mad as two old cats
''If anything is settled sure
It's that we're Democrats.
You've lived with me some twenty wears
BY this time you should know"
He said 1t in sarcastic tones.
But ma said. Are we, thought"
Then pa he almost threw a ft,
And, my, the air was blue,
He said: Our dads was Democrats.
l guess that we are too
No robber tariff gets our vote;
Free trades about our style.
1 guess we're Democrats. all right"
And then he tried to smile.
"All right" says ma, you can Just be
Whatever suits you best.
I guess that it's your privilege,
And will not protest
1t may be I'm Democrat,
But l amt on no shelf,
For out here women have a vote,
And I'll talk for myself"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
CAPITAL COMMENT

plate dinner at Washington, is a strik-
ing example of conditions existing I'M
der a system of excessive protection
in the year of our Lord 1912 Neither
the Lawrence strike nor the Mclean
dinner are exceptions. They are but
samples of many similar illustrations
which could be cited if space permit
ted. Only recently, William NJ Wood
employees are now on a strike at Law
renee, was arrested for knocking down
and running over pedestrian with his
automobile. When arraigned in court
he was asked how many automobiles
he owned, and his reply was that he
did not know. Imagine a man SC rich
that he doesn't know how many autos
he has on hand!
A WRONG SYSTEM.
Fortunes which make it possible for
one woman to wear half million dol
lars worth of diamonds at one time,
and which enable a man to own so
| many automobiles he is unable to keep
track of them, necessarily come
through the power to place an arti-
fetal price on the things which the
| common people must have in order
! to live.
1t is significant, in this connection
that the tariff, the cost of living, s70o
a plate dinners-everything but the
workingman's wages-have increased
hand in hand. revealing the intimate
relationship of one to the other.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
The Argus Daily Story
His Fortunate Mistakenly Clarissa Maclde.
Copyrighted. 1911 by Associated Literary Bureau

From the window of his luxurious
private parlor Dick Lewis looked down
at the brilliant color and continuous
movement of life on Fifth avenue. The
great hotel which he had entered with
awe and some misgiving in his new
role of millionaire mine owner was sit
uated on the fashionable thoroughfare,
and his rooms were on the fourth floor.
From his windows he had an excellent
view of the daily parade of wealth and
fashion, and he had soon wearied of it.
He was a stranger in New York, and
because of his natural reserve and reti-
cence he had not yet been discovered
by those human vultures of society
whose instinct it is to prey upon the
guileless newcomer and separate him
from his money. AS matter of fact.
Dick Lewis had renowned cards and
gambling of any sort ever since one
night in a Gold Creek mining camp
when he had witnessed the killing of
three men over a game Of poker.
There was no one to know that he
was a stranger in the city-a raw west
Nevada and who had come to the
great metropolis to see life and to
spend his money. So far he had been
safe.
AS he looked down at the continuous
stream of automobiles and carriages in
the broad avenue. at the multitude Of
strangers, a sense of loneliness as
sailed him for the first time since his
arrival. He turned from the window
and picked up the morning paper.
''If this is all there is to New York, IS
he muttered grizzly, "I guess I'll hike
| hack To Gold Creek and settle down in
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
ALLEGED WATCH THIEVES
TAKEN BACK TO ELGIN

Chicago, March BY the arrest
of John L. Caferty and Francis A.
Valley at the Grand Pacific hotel the
mystery surrounding the disappear
ance OF thousands Of dollars worth
Of Jewels from the Elgin Watch COM
pany, Elgin, H., is believed to be
solved. The men, who were CON-
pany employees, we're charged with a
series OF Jewel robberies during their
period OF employment. Detectives,
together with George E. Hunter,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

The old towns in the Three-Eye
league that threw the hook into Rock
Island can seek more tropical climes,
80 far as we are concerned, and this
applies with equal force to those one
time companions of ours in the pursuit
Of baseball-Davenport and Dubuque
which. by preferring the friendship of
the southern bunch to that of Rock
Island at the annual meeting of the
league, started the entire rumpus.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
Wall OF JEREMIAH.

According to the Rooseveltian
creed a pail hangs over the Amert-
can nation; a crisis is at hand; dis
aster Is impending; We are threat
ened with a reaction; the constitu-
ton has been ossifed by fossilized
courts; a labor Of Hercules is to be
performed, and there Is only one
man for the Job" His initials are T.
X. Our case is hopeless IL the nom
ination for the presidency is not
thrust upon him at Chicago. II "a
certain eminent lawyer" should be-
come the republican candidate the
demnition bow-wows will certainly
deyour us.
Now, under such circumstances
what would one suppose the "only
man for the Job" ought to do? asks
the Philadelphia Record. II the Chi
cago convention should show SO
little respect for my policies" as to
put "a certain eminent lawyer" in
nomination for the presidency; II, as
a consequence, the country should
be headed for an everlasting smash
what ought the clairvoyant, self
forgetful, patriotic and unparalleled
T. r. TO do? Since he is the only st.
George that can slay the dragon, and
release us from the constitutional
straight jacket into which Judicial
old togies have sewed US up, is not
his duty plain? Should he not thrusl
himself into a nomination which 6
reasonable convention had failed &c
thrust upon him? Aye. aye. I. !, and
]! He must run. We cannot bt
saved unless he runs.
But what does Colonel Roosevelt
propose TO do in the event that "a
certain eminent lawyer" instead OF
himself. obtains the republican IN.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
In Memory of Altgeld

Final arrangements for the John P.
Altgeld Memorial services, which are
held annually by the John P. Altgeld
Memorial association, have been an
nounced.
The services will be held in Orches-
ira hall. Chicago, Sunday afternoon,
March 10, two days previous to the
10th anniversary of the death of the
former governor of Illinois, jurist and
humanitarian
Hon. William ]. Bryan, Rev. Her
bert S. Bigelow, president of the Ohio
Constitutional convention, and Judge
Edward F. Dunno will be the princi-
pal speakers Of the day. Music will
be furnished by the Sinai Congrega.
tional choir.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
MRS. IDA Won CLAUSSEN
Is FREED FROM ASYL UNI

White Plains. n. Y, March g.
MIS- Ida Won Claussen, who achieved
prominence few years ago by charg-
ing prominent persons had conspir-
ed to keep her from being presented
at the court of Sweden, was set free
from Blooningdale asylum today. A
month ago she was released on con-
oition that she remain here for g
nnal hearing. A score OF lay wit
nesses and two commissioners In
lunacy today testified in her favor
IN the supreme court
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

Through the courtesy of the Chi
cago Historical society, Mr.. Cruice,
chairman of the Memorial association.
was able to secure the only life-size
oil painting of former Governor Alt
geld which will be exhibited on the
platform at the hall.
Mr.. Bryan was a close personal
friend Of Mr.. Altgeld and was one of
the three men who made addresses at
the funeral ten years ago. Judge
Dunno was one of his closest personal
as we'll as political friends.
At the Altgeld Memorial services
hye years ago Judge Dunno, then
mayor Of Chicago, made the principal
address.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

DICK LEWIS FOUND TIE WIDOW SCHMIDT.
a house of my own. That Hilltop ranch
property would be a mighty fine site
for a house"
Dick Lewis was a handsome man
even when he frowned, as he was doing
now over the dry details of the want
columns, in which he had not the
slightest interest. His hair was black,
thickly sprinkled with gray that made
him look older than his thirty five
years. His eyes were large and gray,
with keen, compelling glance that at
tracted interest in any one who met
him casually.
''Well-Tll be- whistled Dick as
his rowing eye lit on an advertisement
in the personal column of the paper:
poor widow with four children about
to be placed in an orphan asylum begs
the assistance OF some benevolent person
in preventing the breaking UP of her little
family. Address Mrs. s., box 2FF.
He himself had once been the in
mate of such an institution, and he
feeling that had attended his residence
there.
1t was characteristic of him that he
drew paper and pen toward him and
| indited a short note to Mrs. S. of the
| advertisement:
Dear Madam-If you will send your ad-
! dress to me, care of this hotel. I will be
| glad to call upon you concerning the mat
ter mentioned in your advertisement OF
this date. Yours truly,
RICHARD LEWIS.
When he addressed the envelope
Dick did not notice that his glance Lad
skipped a few lines and that the ad
dress he penned was the one append
I ed to the one following that of the poor
( widow
By noon the following day he receiv
ed businesslike little note:
Dear sir-Please call at room 81. Luck.
lily building. concerning advertisement.
g. SELDEN.
Of Selden must be the widow,
unused Dick as he ate his luncheon in
the splendid hotel restaurant "won
der what she's doing in an Office build
ing-why, of course she's scrub wo
man and some kind hearted fellow hal
]
ed there. I'll go down by and by and
see her-makes me cold all over t.
think of those four youngsters beini
torn away from their mothers arms.
Room s44 Luckily building. proves
to be tucked away in a corner ct III
end Of a long, dark corridor. Die
Lewis knocked gently and then turne
the knob and entered the Office.
1t was a small Office and containe
one window looking down on a dir
side street far below. There was littl
office furniture. and what there wa
appeared to have been recently RI
claimed from some secondhand store
for it was all pretty well battered an
SCARED. However. everything was nes
and clean and carefully arranged {
the best of its poor advantage. Their
was roll top desk and long tabl
and couple of chairs. Beside the VIII
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

Right or wrong in their conten-
tions, American suffragets are to be
commended for not emulating the
tactics employed by their French SIS
tiers. over there suffragism is asso-
ciated with riot and disorder, while
here common sense campaign meth
DDS and logic are employed. The
English women have gained nothing
but undesirable notoriety, while
over here several states have grant.
ed the ballot to women.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
March 8 in American
History.

1831-Philip Henry Sheridan, Federal
general in the civil war, born In
Albany, N. Y; died 1888.
1886 Slaughter Of the Texan garrison
In the Alamo by order of Santa
Anna Davy Crockett was among
the victims.
1s63-President LincoIn's message rec
ommending purchase and manu.
mission Of slaves in the border
states sent to congress.
1910-Thomas Collier Plat, former
United States senator and noted
political leader. died in New York
city; born 1888.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

1t costs lot to feel like a millionaire
about a million dollars. in fact.
Some women are so emotional that
they weep over their own good luck.
1t is hard to earn a competence, but
harder still to be satisfied with it.
The man who does what he can does
wonders.
Many a man cuItivates a crouch and
raises a racket.
Occasionally a confirmed liar sur
prises himself by speaking the truth.
Some persons are music mad They
generally make their associates mad
too.
We are such poor managers that we
neither keep our troubles 10 ourselves
nor lessen them when we give them
away.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

The circumstance that Senator Cum
minis is still a candidate for the repub-
lican nomination for president is in
danger Of being overlooked unless the
Iowa statesman discovers some way to
make q big noise more often.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

Schedule X OF the famous and infa-
nous Payne-Aldrich tariff bill emerges
from the Lawrence mix-up in so disreD-
utabls a condition that even the stand
patters OF congress are now moving to
take It up for some sort Of treatment
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

Pardon the impertinence, kind repub-
lican reader, but are you of the brand
Mr.. Taft describes as "neurotics," or Of
the other brand which Colonel Roose-
welt describes as political paranoi-
acs?" If you are not one. you are the
other, and you can't successfully deny
H.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
Taking Advantage.

at is an Ill wind that blows nobody
good"
What's the Illustration
you know that snippy Mrs. Stiles?'
"Yes."
shes too exclusive to exchange
fancy work patterns with any of the
neighbors."
Mean thing"
"Well, today her very prettiest lunch
cloth was out on the line and the wind
blew it over the fence into our back
yard, and copied the pattern before 1
sent 1t over to her"
Just Like Them.
Aren't men just the meanest
things?"
what nowT
Here they have been buying and
selling votes for years."
"Well?"
And now that it looks as If women
were about to get the ballot they begin
to make fuss about bribery"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
Hard to Please.

Hard to Please.
"What is he kicking about?"
His long hours"
From to 50"
Something like that"
HE wouldn't want to work over
time If he had a job in the mint"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

Works Both Ways.
at is easy for me to get rid of hired
girl don't like"
How do you accomplish this mar
yelF"
by making love to her. Then my
wife fires the girl at once"
THAT is one way to get rid of wife
too.p
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

Good For the Kind.
"He Is a fine man, all right"
"Oh, is hep
whats the matter with him."
Nothing. 1 wonder they don't elect
him to membership in the woman's
club"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
Have q Care

Have a Care.
Shoot folly, said the poet.
Where 1t is flying wide,
But don't take this as literal.
1t might mean suicide.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

Gave Him a Pleasant Half Hour.
THAT check you gave me was no
good"
Il was afraid it wouldn't be-"
Then why did you give it to meT
at seemed to please you so to get it."
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

Probably President Taft wouldn't
mind now to send Theodore Roose-
welt to Mexico 20 head a band OF in
vading rough riders.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

When Roosevelt organized the Ana
MAS club he "digged" himself pit.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
Brief Manual of TRAINING,

A high school freshman wrote to q
Juvenile publication. earnestly inquir
ing what he should do to win coming
event in school athletics-the 100 yard
dash.
Run a little faster than the other
fellows" wrote the editor In reply
Youths Companion.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

The blue jay, as you know now, is
not a sure harblnger of spring.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

the grand jury at $1,000. Valleys
preliminary hearing was postponed.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

Mexico and China are both making a
few more revolutions.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
Works Both Way,

Works Both Ways.
1.-THE king dubbed him knight"
THAT is what might be called knight
ing a dub"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
THE ARGUS.

Published Daily and Weekly at 1919
Second avenue. Rock Island. Ill led
tered at the postofhce as second-class
matter.J
Rock Island Member OF the Associated
Press.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06
BY THE J. w. POTTER co.

TERMs.-DaiIy. 10 cents per week.
Weekly. 81 per year IN advance.
Complaints OF delivery service should
be made 10 the circulation department.
which sho aid also be notihed in every
instance where It is desired TO have
paper discontinued. as carriers have no
authority in the premises
AL communications OF e-gumentativs
character. political or religious. must
Lave real name attached for publica-
ton No such articles will be printed
ever fictitious signatures.
Telephones IN ali departments: Central
Union. West 1876 and 1145; Union Eleo-
trio. B145.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-03-06

1t costs lot to feel like a millionaire
a million dollars. in fact.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-10-03

VA Cnly tn us
,,.s bgl-Ia ~ E q
IN - ~ u
~ ~ g
~ - l-l
- ~ - -
80. - $3.50
us ~
uni ~ a
Ths - ~ n -
.t--b 49, ~ 49, l 60
.CS.nm0ya ~ ~ ~ ~ - @
1ol.,v - $3.50 q ~ $780,
-
U.l, ~ r1; g. Tn. -
~ - $500. cs,elal1,
- r1s: G1lylE. IA Uls
l. ~ $500 lInrih.~a. ~
ss FL ~ a; NJ
. - 1865 Lna. - Uul-s
4,,,,I. ~ I.s ,G -
s. ~ -
~ 80 ~
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-10-03

O. n1h'as I, - : - :
il..
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-17
POISON KILLS HORSES.
Food and Drink, Not Meningitis
Causes Losses.

WASHINGTON. Sept. 17.-During the
last five months numerous reports have
been received by the bureau of ami
NAL industry relative to the existence
of forage poisoning in various sections
of the United States, particularly in
Louisiana, West Virginia, Kansas and
Nebraska. 1t has usually occurre'
when a hot, dry period has been follow
ed by rains, or during wet seasons,
especially those which are character
lied by frequent rains alternating with
hot sunshine, producing a damp sui
try atmosphere. Such conditions are
most favorable to the production of
molds, and all outbreaks that have
been investigated by the bureau have
been traced to the eating of unsound
or moldy forage or feed, or to the
drinking of water from wells or pools
containing surface water drained through
decomposed and moldy vegetation. The
disease has been shown to be also
due to eating damaged ensilage, hay,
corn brewers grains, oats, etc. Horse
and mules at pasture may contract the
disease when the growth of grass is 81
profuse that it mats together and the
lower part dies ard ferments or be-
comes moIdy. No specific organism or
virus has yet been found which can be
considered as the cause of this dis
ease.
The so-called cerebro-spinaI meningi-
tbs of horses being entirely different
disease from that which occurs in man,
the symptoms as well as the cause are
distinctly different. In the most rapid
ly fatal attacks death takes place in
from to 4S hours. Such cases begin
with violent trembling or stupor and
extreme weakness. or with staggering
gait, partial or total inability to swal-
low, impairment of eyesight, followed
by partial or complete paralysis, ina
bility to stand with marked delirium.
during which the animal lying fiat on
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-17
SNIP SHOTS
AT HOME NEWS

Dancing tonight at Garfield park.
Free motion pictures at S:45-
A concrete sidewalk is being laid
around the Crawford building on Jack
son and Fifth streets.
The management of the Kansas
State Fair association is now doing bust
ness in the Smith building on Ninth
| street as usual.
There was a large attendance at the
Y. NJ. c. A. reception for railroad Of
fee employees Monday night. Volley
! ball and other contests were enjoyed.
James A. Staples will erect a tene-
ment fiat at 1026-2S Quincy street tc
cost Sc, 500. The building will be two
story high, and will be completed by
January l.
The Highland Park Grange will meet
Thursday evening. How to Keep the
Boys and Girls on the Farm will be
the main topic for discussion. 1t will
be a closed meeting.
The frost that was predicted for early
this morning by the weather depart
ment did not materialize. The mercury
went but a fraction of a degree below
the 90 degree point.
A reception for fathers and sons in
Topeka will be held at the Central Y.
Nj. c. A. this evening. Wednesday ev-
ening a reception will be held for Wash
burn college students.
NE REV. u A. smut IldS OS6n C1AO-
sen to head the Topeka Ministerial
union for the ensuing year. The Rev.
A. S. Henderson will act as vice presi-
dent. and E. c. Brownell, secretary.
A special meeting of the board of
education will be held tonight for the
installation of heating plants at the
Quinton Heights and Potwin school
buildings; also the contract for the sup
ply of coal for the season.
The people on the West side are
complaining bitterly. When attempts
were made to get rid of the blackbirds
in the trees on the Bethany grounds
ing place to points further west. They
now annoy the citizens to a great de-
gree
Interest in the revival services at the
Oakland NJ. E. church, Oakland is on
the increase. Evangelist J. F. Hodge
is said to be strong and convincing
speaker There were four converts
Monday night. Services are being held
every afternoon at 2:30 o'clock and
every evening at 1880
Newton N. Riddell, of Chicago. will
be brought to Topeka by the Minis
terial Union next January for a series
of lectures that will last for two weeks
The lectures will be Observation-Disclosures
in their nature. There will be seven
of them on applied Psychology and
seven on Vital Christianity"
A meeting of the promotion committee
of the Commercial club was held today
to discuss the campaign for raising
funds for the factory aiding PROPOSE
ton. A big dinner will probably be
held about the first of October to
launch the plan. Two hundred thou
sand dollars is wanted for the fund.
A "made-in-P ittsburg'' special train
of u coaches will arrive in Topeka
Wednesday morning at o'clock, and
will remain in Topeka until noon on
d Santa Fe siding near the station. A
large number of Topeka people will
probably go down to the special to
see the displays of goods. The Com
mercial club is arranging to take the
ladies in the party about the city in
automobiles.