The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1912-01-13


child of three years, nor expect that
it should know its proper place, but at
a very early period of life of the child
you must begin to teach it certain rev.
erence and make it understand the dis
lance between itself and it's parents.
This is the idea as lately expressed by
Emil Eaguet, member or the French
Academy and an authority on the sub
ject. Writing further, NJ. Eaguet
says:
do not agree with those who want
a child to say Sir" instead of father,
and ! do not even object to the child
like papa up to a certain age, but
do insist on children being taught to
address their parents in a respectable
manner and not in the same manner
las they address their comrades and
.playmates. In France, where we have
the difference between "vous" (you)
and "tu' Chou, child should GER
tainly address its parents by the for
mer word. 1t is only a little thing,
but nevertheless a very important one.
Parents, on the other side, should GER
tainly use the more familiar "tu."
Later on parents must see to it that
the respect and love grow together,
one feeling never taking the place of
the other. Montague very justly crit
icises those who seem to love their
children only while they are small,
saying: "A true and natural affection
should arise and grow in strength as
time goes on and gradually the rela-
tions between parents and children
should develop into full respect and
confidence from both sides"
When the child grows to be IA or Is
years old, discreet confidence should
take the place of respectful attention.
Then the time has come when advice,
punishment and sermons or lectures
have little or no effect, but must give
way to education by example This
seems quite selfevident, but still you
will notice that the use of personal eX-
ample is neglected in a good many
families. 1t certainly exists, but it is
used in too general a way. 1t is like
this. You are a man of orderly habits
who works hard and regularly and
who goes your Office punctually
every day. You are setting a good eX-
ample, that of regular work, to your
son, but it is not an example which is
properly adjusted and adapted to his
present duties
You, madam, are a good housewife
and loyal spouse. You are setting
an excellent example to your daughter
some time in her future, but not one
which applies very well to the present
time What you must DO is this; You
must become a child for the sake ut
your child, and through confidential
talks with her you must live over
again your own childhood with her or
with him, put yourself on an equal
footing with him or her to make them
thoroughly understand the example.
"Praeterita adstanti veniens ceI
cominus aetas."
This means that you must say:
81 did this or | did that. My mother
said to me. This happened to me, AMI
this is how l did in that case
You must pass back and forth in the
.orm of a child before the eyes of you
child. You must live over again to be
able to teach how to live.
You must never begin saying, how
ever:
when l was your age" for this
seems to indicate that you go back to
the age of your child merely for the
purpose of teaching a lesson. The con
fidential talk must seem quite natural
and spontaneous, a simple memory re-
called only by the present age of the
other.
You must never say too much, but
must know how to stop the very mo-
ment the memory is about to reveal
itself as disguised lesson, which the
keen perception of a child rapidly dis
covers.
Then you must always be careful
not to praise yourself or boast.
Goethe tells how he, after having
cun smear and q largo tahIasnoonfuI