The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-10

Many of the returning vacationers are greeting you these torrid August days illuminated, experienced-and so l was not surprised yesterday to hear one of my 'fntimates' say:
 It's perfectly delicious to be back home, even if it Is warm."
 "What?" said I, trying to conceal my mirth. Wasn't your vacation success? You look dandy and you must have gained pounds"
 "It wasn't lovely at all." she retorted. '1t was perfectly unspeakable. awful, fearful Strangers that I had to be po- lite to, day in and day out, all of whom I didn't give a darn about, bored me all the time. Horrld things to eat and I'm scared to death of burglars and l must have fresh air and plenty of 1t, and there I was cooped up with fny maid and two children, uncomfortable in two rooms and-and--"
 But you look so we'll" insisted You MUST have enjoyed yourself"
 That Is because 1 was able to get a sleeper back home one week earlier than I expected" she went on. ''I lost five pounds worrying over the earliest possi- ble moment I could get away. After KNEW I could get home I began to take new lease life and get fat. Now I'm the happiest woman alive to get back to my own house with the great big beau- | ll1ul, cOlnIOTtaDle rOO1nS anu DfOdu NCldh- das, and all I want to eat that I like and have my breakfast in bed, and-and- well, this dear old Birmingham certainly does look good to me-
 "Why--er-er," I started, 'I thought when you left in June that everything here was unbearable.
 Ignoring my Interruption. she continued:
 '.I can go to ride in my own automo- bile every afternoon and drop into the Moving Picture Shows if want diversion. There are the popular priced theatres to go to-, the Country Club and the various restaurants around town to dine in, and the nights are deliciously cool and even the hot days appeal to me, and I'm so glad to be back home that I could just shout for joy
 'I know you think am silly she rat tied on with ecstatic delight. but Honest Injun. I never expect to go to another summer resort as long as.I live. l loathe and detest them, and thereafter when l need vacation I'm going to take mine in the winter-AT HOME. I don't be- lieve I ever appreciated anything in the
 world like I do my home since I've been to one of those noisy, stuffy, tiresome resorts, where the children cry all day and the lovers court all night right under your window. Here I can take nap now in the afternoons and not be dis turbed. I can sleep at night before Il o'clock and know I'm not going to be awakened out of sound slumber by peo- pie dancing and cavorting about the place. and best of all I am not on dress parade all day, but I can slip into a negligee and enjoy myself like a real live human being, and so you see I am happy. just feel sorry for all the poor, miserable people fho are all over the face of the earth vacationing, while I've finished and am enjoying hy real vacation now You have certainly learned by experi- ence," I suggested
 q have indeed" she returned. Maybe there are those who will think I'm fool isih, but think that vacationing is all a gamble It's like going into a Paris restaurant and ordering a lunch from a Menu when you don't speak French. You