Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1912-05-30
ON THE eRocER's PHONE.
Samples of the Abuse That the Cheer
full Knight of the White Apron Has
to Endure

butcher shop and grocery store pre-
pairing for the days business. Johnny.
his one assistant in the shop, has just
leone, manifesting symptoms of an
unfinished sleep.
Mr.. Smart wraps his white apron
around him and smiles gleefully. IT'S
great world, Johnny don't you feel
happy?" he asks cheerfulIy.
las happy as a caught fish, an
swers the boy petulantly.
| "Qh, brace up. The world was
made to be happy In. Start the day
by feeling good toward every one. l
feel like l could love my worst enemy,
land"
| The telephone rings.
rs that Smarts grocery store?"
asks a voice on the wire.
| Yes, ma'am. What can / do for
you?"
"Do for me! You just wait till you
| get a chance to do anything for me
Iagain You charged me twelve cents
more for eggs yesterday than you did
| a week ago. Do you think I'll stand
for any such imposition as that"
| But, madam. let me explain; the
market price"
| Explain nothing | don't want to
talk to you any more!.' Bang!
| MY Did you ever hear of such
woman?"
Thought you said you could love
your worst enemy" comments Johnny.
The telephone rings again. is that
Mr. Smart?"
| YES. ma'am."
| Il want half dozen eggs right
away | haven't a thing in the place
for breakfast; Mrs. Jones; yes. But
listen here-those last eggs you sent
me weren't fresh"
They were fresh eggs Mrs. Jones,
just like / always have"
Please don't argue. Mr.. Smart. !
never like to have any one contradict
me. How long before | can get the
legs? 1t must be right away"
| Why, you're eight blocks away,
Mrs. Jones'
/ Il don't care if am. | do all my
trading with you. MY account last
month was $22, and if you can't ac-
cemmodate me once. I'll get another
grocer"
"Oh. there's no need of doing that.
I'll send your eggs" tHangs up the
lreceiver.) Accommodate her once
|humph. | wonder if grocer could
keep her trade a week without ac-
commodating her half dozen times a
Iday!''
Another ring of the telephone Mr.
Smart, this is Mrs Bradley. i must
have a box of oatmeal for breakfast.
Please send it right away"
Sorry, but the wagons getting
|ready to go about a mile the other
i way, Mrs. Rradley and it may be a
half. hour before I can get it to you
/ THAT is prepostercus Why can't
lyou send your clerk with it?"
| Impossible. He's got to fix up the
Iearly orders"
u never heard of such a grocery
story in my life." "a grating sound as
the receiver is slammed on its hook.)
oh, Mr.. Smart says the next
voice this is Mrs. Lewis Can you
get me pound of butterine over right
laway2 I've got the toast already on
so it must come right away"
How can get pound of butterine
lover there by the time your toast is
browne"
/ Well, if you can't do it. you need
not send your solicitor around any
more. I'm tired of being refused ac-
commodation."
| And to think there's woman I've
treated with all kinds of considera-
ton Mr. Smart soliloquizes. de-
Ispairingly. "A fine chance a grocer
has of getting his customers anec-
TONS"
You love all those people. don't
your leases Johnny. from the front
of the store
Another ring rs that you. Mr..
Smart? This is Mrs. Jones again.
I want some bacon sent with my eggs"
| Your eggs are on the way
ION the way? Why, | must have
the bacon. Can't you send the boy in
the store with it?"
NO, ma'am. l can't spare him"
clerks"
It's all can do to pay the one"
lmurmurs Mr.. Smart.
| Ia advise you to improve your SER
wee Good-by." with sternness1
Mr.. Smart you'd better come and
tax TO this lady: she says you cheat
ed her calls johnny
what next?" the grocer asks him
sell, struggling with his philosophy.
LOOK here, Mr. Smart. | don't Let
lahybody take advantage of me and
that's just what you have done" ex-
Grains the angry woman in the store
WHAT'S the trouble?" meelxIy injuries
Mr.. Smart ~
| nave been buying tomatoes for IA
| cents can for years and yesterday voa
had L cents on my ticket.
| Have to do it, Mrs. Clancy. The 10.
hato crop was short this year and ire
price Is up 1 pay $l3s dozen and T
make a gross profit of nine cents a doz.
en- 30 I'm not piling up any wealth on
me canned tomatoes | sell"
You can't tell me that's all the pro6t
you make. You grocers are getting rich
with these high prices" is her parting
shot.
She ought to have to pay the ex-
penses; she'd change her mind observes
Mr. Smart as the telephone rings again
Hello!" says the voice. "That sack of
Hour you sent me was short in weight
and l refuse to pay for it. Yes Mrs
| Smith,
"In send you another. Good"
But wait a minute. That can of cot