Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-13
6 g: :4KE XiSFSME6a
ARF by Roy .Moulton. q

li"v. bndnutt asked Lem Higgins
what inoiiN" h. had for becnmiE' an
engineer ON tse ~rai!rul and Lem
said II Was 9 locomotive. The darn
joker.
never SAW a n 20 Through a
gate hNi Wi!.s' fn trieu to kjrk il vpc,
Witit Mis- loot, OF a wonlaN who didn't
fuss @rcuNd and look for lha latch.
Perhaps som" day somebody with
~ lot Of h.:,in power viii invent a
%s'i'itr" Iced pencil tAui can, roll off
the table. !Nit | doubt ii.
IiaeN ST. potatoes are going t. be
more expensive. but it is hard to sec
how the can ever ho much moro eN-
pensivo .lian they are in SOM of them
hlSh lons! Gates.
THE SCIENTISTS.
Prof Alnariah Tibbs was all unknown
II fame.
moi one day llc sci about To make
hi.is"'f !; name.
He GOT "t!i lis old telescope and
aimee IL ~, the stars.
And much to lis surprise he found n
brand iiDsN Mari on Mars.
Nc had seen the thing htf"rc: il
MAS a ',!n"us lind.
The Who'll. wnrll paid its tribute To
his scientific mind.
Prof. Tihfs discovery created such a
stir
\ lerturo bureau signed him at N
hundred dollars per.
Prof. James Tnwillinscr long occu-
pied Il chair.
The "nc-ll"l'sc collese SALARY gave him
no cash 10 spare.
The future Scrmed quite hop less To
The scientist until
Ono dan ic found so.nc. m~icrulns on
an old one dollar bili.
of course the papers get The news
ana spread il far and Wide.
And much learned editorial.
beside.
I!e trainc II troupe of thes, microbes
and put them on the stage.
And NOW ia high priced vaudeville M
is the current rage.
Prof. Alexander Butts knew not the
spotlisllt's glare.
1t sometimes struck the faculty. but
NOT his humble hair.
ON" dan he wrote IL treatise on
What Modern Dramas Mean"
y circus was the oniy SHOW that he
had yer seen.
The Modern Drama" stuff went
great. and he was i'm demand.
He spoke before the molnan's clubs
throughout the entire land.
He's quoted as authority and wor-
shipped from afar.
And when he travels now it's in a
handsome private car.
WOMEN.
They're saicy and they're tickle ind
They're mighty hard to please.
We have to cater to them all
Upon our bendc knees.
They're t'ighty and inquisiliye.
EXasperatin.' 100.
And every man must find ii out
Somehow before he's through.
They reason with II s~uddenness
That makes Il Teller jump
And they don't find it hard at all
10 make him look n chulnp.
They cannot give a reason for
"A single thing they do.
They jump at :: conclusion with
No valid cause I'm view.
They're fusss and they're frivolous;
Sometimes il seems that way.
They're tender II they're heartless,
They're '%f!curnful and they're gay.
Thcy'r" prudish n they're reckless
In faults they ali abound.
They cast Il lo1 of money. but
TheN'rn nice 10 have around.
FRONT PORCH CONVERSATION.
> " e7't1ttci every PHEASANT UlSnL.
When other people want To snooze.
And then discuss with all their might
The latest things in hats and shoes.
IheN criticize the hobble gown
That's being worn by Mrs. Jones.
And gossip about Mrs. Brown.
And her new hair in piercing tones.
They talk of novels that they've read
And tell of rumors of divorce;
Iiacy dish up all their married friends.
They couldn't leave out one. of
They review all that has occurred
Since last they met :.nd judgment
passed.
And tell With horror all they've hca,,l
About the widows, sod and grass.
lney tell what everyone has had
For dinner every day that week.
There's not a fashion or a fad
Of which they e'er forget To speak.
iheN ten what happened long ago
and what will happen ages hence.
INN 1t sometimes seems as though
IheH can talk everything but sense
FOR A SAFE AND SANE EOUErH.
While various municipal authorities
are discussing the possibility of n
safe and sane Fourth this year we
nave gone ahead and framed the fol-
lowing rough draft of a Fourth of .July
program which should suit the most
tinld and should be framed into an
ordinance:
5 q. managing of flags ON from,
porches.
= Il. m~.--Breakfast.
Z a. m.-Waving of small flags by
h populace.
8 a. m~.-Reading Of the Declaration
OF Independence. each citizen reading
1t to himself audibly.
3 a. m~.-Patriotic speech in deaf and
dumb languages from steps of city
hall.