davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-09-21

Through Il quarte, OF 4 column OF
satire and irony The Inland Printcn
ridirulps the ancient and honorabl =
custom ia COUNTY, newspaper office,
oi printing TIE fact and giving til"
sam" when some one drops in and
rays a subscription to he paper. The
Inland Printer wants 10 know what
news value there is in it, and thinks
il unidentified Docs il not tend T.
keep alive that old notion that i
country newspaper man is Il poverty
stricken wretch thankful tor every
morscl thrown him, like Il hungry
dog says the paper Without in
reverence and rs conclusive answer
t, he objection urged. we may quote
the Scriptures where it says. Let
your light 80 shine that others soc
ing your good works may 30 and d.
likewise
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-09-21

The Barlow touricr-Infornl.int ha.
Inc following to say of forme..
Lakeland man: Mr. Percy Wclch.
nAa ls hccn agent here for alon
!; .ear s:cnod some time ago and
Ii It'll maar tp tgricola and take DO
st.ou N,l phosphate company.
Mr We!th las made Il good agent
and The people OF Barlow regret very
much TO lose him and his family
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-09-21

ny newspaper man III III. 'p'lil-
HIN WHO has been At the game .ong
j To ",l his true bearings. Will
iy e.plorsc this PARAGRAPH
ii ~ III, Live Oak Democrat:
There arc worlds of people wh1
ar. alway> ready to insist that til
Zeal newspaper take a hand in ev-
in the community and the
same fellows are usually the first to
desert the paper when its gets in
Ind
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-09-21

Eight hundred pupils in the pub
liz schools of Lakeland ON opening
day is eloquent testimony to the
Tact that The people of this city are
enthusiasts IN the cause Of cduca-
ton and will take the fullest advan-
'""r for their children of the ia
rilti"s offered by our public school
system.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-09-21
POLITICAL ANNOUNCEMENT
For Representative

hereby Announce myself i ali
didatc for representative from I
county in the Florida LEGISLATURE, i!
tie special term Of said l.. s>laiur'
eonlcnins OCT. /, 1912. subject I,
tie action of the voters in the spc
cial election to be held sept. 20
1912. Respectfully.
J. c. BROWN.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-09-21

The Arcadia News wants more
legislation to protect tn" wild game
in this State and says:
I'VE suggest for legislative action
a prohibitory law for the killing OF
deer and turkey for period oi -four
years. and Il limit annually OF not
over Il certain number 81 hu k deer.
after thai period shall have expired,
md that no lIuniin2 be permitted II
any time except hy permit issued on
~ affidavit thai the applicant Will
noi violate the law.
This would probably be i COOL
law, bllt It's enactment would in no
way cure the difficulty which con
FONTS MS on every side, not only as
to game laws but pretty nearly all
laws designed to haze a restraining
eject upon the desires OF men the
inability 10 adequately enforce them
The TELEGRAM mas received FROM
Secretary Powell Of the Tampa Board
~ Trad. i large half tone picture
giving a birdscyc view Of Tampa as
il Is today accompanied 10y 4 small
rt picture showing thai ,itg as Il
appeared in 1872 The contrast is i'm
decd striking and il is highly -
lcvtivr NAY Of prcson'ina lhe cNtrl
ordinary growth Of he metropolis o.
south Florida in th" II" twenty
years The large picture IL accurate
in detail. showing all the LEADING
buildings, the ha,hor railroads. fir-
tories. etc and as Secretary Powell
expects 10 scatter This impressive
view Of Tampa rs lons 81 thousands
all over The country, il is sure 10
prove an advertisement that will
bring good results
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-09-21
SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
from the same Office Is issued
THE LAKELAND NEWS

a weekly newspaper giving q re-
slime OF local matters, crop condI.
sons, county affairs, etc. Sent
anywhere for $l.00 per year.
The evening world., 1912-07-24
TELLS POLICEMAN HE FELL
FROM scAFFoLD

Policeman Murphy OF the FIN street
station met Lindo on the street yester-
day. When he asked the man how he
came By the fresh wounds on his neck
and hand Linde told a story or having
been working on n scaffold ia A butcher
shop and falling upon a cluster OF meat
hooks below MIN. Murphy passed this
Information on TO Lieut.. Decring and
Detectives Kemp and Long. They had
been looking FOR man with wounds
such as had been described to them by
The Evening World reporter. Later in
the day Detective Kemp caught
glimpse OF Llnde. but the latter lodged
through livery stable on East Tenth
street and got away
Then the detectives discovered that at
few minutes after . o'clock on Mon
day ns.ht, n half hour after the shoot
ing ARRAY. man answering Llnde =
description called at the office OF DR.
Hyman, at No 2lt East Fifteenth street.
TO have fresh wounds on neck ana hand
dressed. Dr. Hyman told the detectives
that mis- patient mad explained the
wounds by say ng that no had hurt him
self with a cotton hook on the ~harvcs
that night.
Trailing Linde throughout the day the
detectives finally caught him In his
room last night Besides tho wounds
The evening world., 1912-07-24
WOUNDED BURGlAc DIES.
shot Through Neck while Trying
to Rob Engineer Of Schooner.

Sam Joseph. a colorcd snilor who
said he lived at No. 20 Henry street,
Norfolk. Va. died to-day in the prison
The evening world., 1912-07-24
YOU WILL SLEEP SOUND, EAT
HEARTY and FEEL BETTER

The tremendous amount Of rush and
hustle which Is necessary to keep abreast
Of the times these days has created
q condition Of nervousness which is
affecting the majority Of people in the
United States. That down-and-out,
nervous condition is nothing more or
less than stomach trouble. now generally
recognized as the great American plague.
A man or woman in this condition can
get little happiness or success out Of life.
They feel tired all the time, have no en-
ergy or ambition. and are gloomy, timid
and respondent. They do not sleep or
eat we'll or feel we'll, and life, instead Of
being q pleasure, is more Of burden.
Are you one Of these half sick, listless.
The evening world., 1912-07-24

ward Of Bellevue Hospital. whore he
had been confined since he was fhot
while attempting robbery. Sunday at
3 T.. ~ Engineer Jacob +. Adams OF
the schooner J. iiolmcs Pirdsdalc.
lying nj the New York Central Rail-.
road pier at the foot Of West seventy
second street, saw a man enter his
cabin. The engineer demp nded tie,
intruders business. Tho negro at
tackled him and Adams shot him. the
bullet passing through his neck. The
engineer will probably be summoned
before the Coroner to-day and released.
The evening world., 1912-07-24

tired, nervous people' II you are, you
should know that there is a medicine
now being sold that has brought back
the old energy and pleasure in lie TO
thousands who have tried it. The name
OF it is Cooper's New Discovery. II has
been pronounced the greatest medicine
ever sold to the public. Cooper's New
Discovery is sold by oil druggists, who
will refund the purchase price il i, fails to
give you full and complete satisfaction.
Let Coopcr's New Discovery build you
up and bring back your strength and
vitality. You will be astonichcd how
quickly II acts. The first few doses will
convince you what n medicine Il is. For
sale at all druggists.
The evening world., 1912-07-24

after the fusliladc q, shots. with blood
pouring from n wound In the neck and
another In the hand. They picked up
Lindc at his homo. No. -, Avenue G,
late last night Idndc has wounds
Identical with those described by he
eye witness and he has told many "on-
n!cting stories az TO how he received
,Arp,
The evening world., 1912-07-24

already described 10 the detectives Llndc
had an old wound on his shoulder,
which he said, he Hot IN gunnght n
month ago He denied that ne was ia
the vicinity Of the shooting on Monday
night.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11
NOTICE of

Notice to the EIector. Of the City Of
Grand Forks, North Dakots
Notice Is hereby given that on the
from the hour Of o.elock In the
morning until . o'clock in the after-
noon Of said day. to-wit: the 18th day
Of March. A.. D. 1912, there shall be held
choosing and electing the elective OFF,
GERS of the city of Grand Forks. North
Dakota. as provided by law.
At the said election the following
officers shall be chosen:
One City Treasurer.
One Police Magistrate.
One City Justice of the Peace.
One Park Commissioners
One Alderman from each Of the seven
wards Of the city for the term Of two
years each.
Registration of voters will take place
II r the s ysr lou yards Of the city on
iEnated BY the city e coun neil as se the va "a.
rious polling. places for said election:
First Fdrst Ward.ci Pump House.
Fourth ward-Old City Hall.
Fifth Ward-First Precinct. Intsrna.
tional Avenue Fire Hall.
Sixth Wsrd-First Precinct. as
sixth wsrd-s.eond Precinct. s,a
S? sss.a aasn M.1 ssres!; Cottonwood g.
The polls at such polling places shall
in the forenoon until s o'clock in 4
Dated at Grand q md TorsSs. North p.s.t.
this 18th day Of February. A. D. 1919.
IN. =. Murphy.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11
LEGAL NOTICE
PRIMARY ELECTION Nor,x,n

Under provisions Of Chapter 10 OF
inc session sea- Law. Of 1911. the following
dominating petitions Of which have
q State snd eeEt!fiea 10 this s%t office sfssast .nad
mary" n nsmss s c1f'e, :PP Ballots Sn to he $. y PR:
ed for At the primary election to be
tSsd c Ct The yacIous pellins places IN
Of North b.Ro.ss r or M spes' snd stafs
1912: between the hours Of 8 O'CLOCK
A. Nj. . and s 9,;slock T; n: q ssid day.
President Of the United states
Robert NJ. LaFollette. Madison, wis.
Theodore Roosevelt. Oyster Ray. New
Millt.m H: TAFT, Warrington, D. c.
No petitions filed.
Thoma. 2: Marshall. cakes. n. Oak.
" P%Iesiaestisl Electors
Roger Aiiin. Park River, n. OAK.
n. H.ssn; %olfora, y. pax. ~
z. s. Buck, Jamestown, N. OAK.
+ ". Cathro. Bottineau. n. Oak.
8; ~. Ferris. Dickinson, y. OAK.
gilbert johnson. Mohall. n. Oak.
theodore Thompson. Cocperetown. y.
E. II. Tostevin. Msndan. N. Oak.
eaecs 70 National Convention
! J. Il 4 e s%s . %f1is 1sxF n OAK n Oak
A. p. Erickson. Minot. n. Oak.
i; =: Garnaas; Sheyenne. \: OAK.
Tieso1e. :,i H.xs ssE wai hSss; \ \. B Psk:
l. =: Hyds. Valley City. n. Oak.
August Il. Johnson. washburn. N.
y s. 4;ussr. w.hp.ten, y; Oak,
T y. Mashek. Lidserveod. n Oak.
Rob =; Ss ~ po,l Eoletts; n; Oak
yehs ~ =, scott estoe ai1b s:rs e 6 s., Dak'
Tora seosi Bowman; \; OAK
!. " =: T ss@"s Grand r:adG Fe y D: \. Oak,
Tx Ti2a11luf M. RSissS: \ \. Bsk:
A'' PsM Meassi rR}ast exsBr 3; Pee;
John surke. sism.r Si.ts =. f pst.
No petitions flied.
National Committeeman
John BrueEger. Williston, n. Oak.
9esfSe z; npi.' Grand Forks: =. OAK.
Frank ii f r Wiri.sa1,ns." ssts;.Sst y PIX q n,..
P%re.ide.tial E~l-ctor.
Z + ! e eamsren: w Ml11s. e'! y. B 3; p'k'
A. B. Kerlin. Devils Lake. n. Oak.
NJ: q. Williams. Jamestown, n. Oak.
DeIeGates to National ConventIon
J. W. Boeing. Mimic. n. Oak.
": E. Byerly, Velva. n. Oak.
edward ". conmy. Pembina, n. Oak.
Walter A. Fulker.on. Crary, Il. Oak.
Edward j. Hughes. Dickinson. n. Oak.
Wis A. Joy, Grand Forks. n. Oak.
Frank Lish, Dickinson, n. OAK.
Q. G. Major. Hope. n. Oak.
Charles A. Mansfield. Williston. N.
Carl Nelson. Towner. n. Oak.
": H. OHara. Kenmare. X. Oak.
William ?. Porterfield. Fargo. y. Oak.
". E: Purcell. Wahpeton. 4. Oak.
Frank Reed, Bismarck. Il. Oak.
W L.. Walton. Bantry. y. Oak.
Dated at Grand Forks. n. Oak, this
6th day Of March A. d. 1912. N'"
Hans Anderson.
1Seal! County Auditor
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

FOR sALE-one registered Holstein
bull calf and four grade Holstein
%separate. NJ. L. Enrigit. East Grand
Forks. ..
FOR sALE-Single Comb Red cocker
els. Crookston show prize winners.
Mrs. Carina Olson. Erskine. MINI. -
FOR ;SALE-Carload Of heavy. sound
Iowa brood mares. Kentucky Stables,
Grand Forks.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

TEN MEN WILL BUY 100 acres OF
fruit and truck and near Tampa.
give twenty acres free for planting
and farming n cooperating with
me: expenses advanced: opportunity
OF lifetime. j. b. Perrine, 72 Adams
St, Chicago.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

WANTED-Iionest men to sell nursery
stock: experience unnecessary salary
or commission weekly. Address Mill
burn Advertising Agency, Millburn,
n. j.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

NOTICE TO FARMERs-whcn in need
OF laborers by. day or month or sea.
son. write Anderson & johnson EN-
ploymcnt office. Grand Forks. or
phone 933 N. w. f
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

TRUsTWORTHY MEN or women want
ed as local representatives. Of respon
sible manufacturer. High class mer-
chandise and clean selling methods.
$1,000 per week guaranteed on easy
and advance. Experience not neces-
sary; Manufacturer. Box 27S. Phila-
delphia.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11
: FOR SALE-MISc.

FOR sALE-complete billiard and pool
bles. cigar case, drink counter, back
bar. National cash register. safe.
standing. desk. chairs. leather setees.
card tables. oak partition End other
8. Dinnie. Grand Forks. N. d.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

WRITE NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. can
make big money. North Dakota COM
pany. Address Great Northern Life
Insurance Co. Grand Forks. N. D..
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

ADVERTISING T

ADVERT16lN0 RATES.
Advertisements in the CLASSIFIED Col.
0mns will bs inserted for . penny Q
wosd Q day. The one charge entities
sou 70 publication in both The Even.
ING Times and The Morning Herald.
Advertisements in these columns
having letters or numbers must be
answered through correspondence.
10 insure publication Of advertt:a'
nsuts the following day. copy must be
d cur hands before $3.50 p. m. All
Ads sppsar t'rst In The Aorn'ns
TE1EpHONES.
SAo Both Phonss-Business 0dnca
A PENNY A WORD A DAT
Publishes Your
CLASSIFIED AID
In Both
FH3 TINES AND THE aGRALO:
A =
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

EARN A3O WEEKLY taking orders for
! cut rate groceries. Outfit free.
Standard Mercantile Company. Hippo
dromc Building. Cleveland. Ohio.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

MEN wishing to carn three to five dol
lars per day. write for terms immc-
diately. First National Nurseries,
Rochester, n. Y.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

WANTED-First class blacksmith;
must be good horse sheer and piow
right man. Address Wiiiiam Bran
UNI, Esmond, N. ID.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

GOVERNMENT FARMERS WANTED
Grand Forks examination April 10.
$50 and living quarters. Many need
ed. Write Ozment. 81. ST. Louis.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11
HELP WANTED-MALE

REPRESENTATIVES, WANTED for
sale OF townsite lots in divisional and
functional points along line of Grand
Trunk Pacific railway In Western
Canada Whole or part time. Liber-
al commission. Money making side
ICED agent 6. 4. =. Ey., International
Securities Co. Ltd, Somerset Bldg.
Winnipeg. Man. for particulars.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

once, for Who'll season for any one
who is right. Will Roberts. Painter,
Lakota, n. ID.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

CAPABLE SALESMAN to cover Dakota
with staple line. High commissions.
position to right man. Jess ii. smith
Co, Detroit. Mich.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

MEN WANTED-Age 10 to 35. to pre-
pare for firemen or brakemen on
railroads In Grand Forks vicinity.
necessary; 10 strike. Promotion
engineer or conductor, $3.50 to 5000
monthly. Good life careers. State
ton. Dept: 222. 227 Monroe street.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

FOR sALE-Modern home. centrally 10.
Gated at bargain. Easy payments,
Address :16 Times-Herald.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

Statesmen WANTED-No experience
required. Earn good wages while
learning. Hundreds Of good positions
year. Write today for particulars,
list OF openings and testimonials.
Address nearest office, Dept. 402. Ma
tional Salesmen's Training Associa-
ton. Chicago. New York, Kansas
city, Seattle. New Orleans. Toronto.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

WANTED-Man and wife to work on
farm. Must give references: no chill
tion write to Mr.. Selby Hoibrook,
Pleasant Lake. n. d.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11
SALE-HOUsES.

FOR 9ALE-Furnished cottage at Ma.
PIE Lake. n. B.: Stricken.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11
MONEY TO LOAN.

MONEY TO LOAN on first or second
mortgages on real estate in Minne-
sofa or North Dakota. Sullivan
Bros. over First National Bank. East
Grand Forks. MINI.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

WANTED-Man and wife on farm. No
children. Box 1926. Larimore. N. D.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

WANTED-First class barber at Hamp-
den, N. d. No booze fighter. F. W.
Pcnner.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

IS PER 100 UPWARD paid lacking
signs. distributing advertising mat
secure price list paid and territory.
%Slepard's Agency. Lebanon, N. H.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11
SHOE REPAIRING.

YOUR FEET in wet wealth
er. Visit the Shoe Hospital. SIS De
Mers.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

AND WIFE WANTED to work on
farm for season. Must be expert
enced and no children. $50 per month
for right party. Box 1173. Cando.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11
AGENTS. WANTED.

AGENTS. AND STATE MANAGERs--
We want live men in every s ssGii"n
force for our famous Bo-Beck Vacuum
Cleaner. Runs on wheels like a car.
pet sweeper; does the work gGr q s1s' !ae
fail particulars on request; o'Neill-
Ia mes Co, Hunter Bldg. Chicago.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

FOR SAI.E-Two acre tract with build
ings. John B. Cunningham, north of
NJ. r. Roundhouse.
FOR sALE-Farm lands In North Da-
kota and northern Minnesota. NJ. F.
Murphy.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

MONEY PROPOsITIoN-Do you want
to own a mail order business-,ne 1n5
%en n an agency for me in your
vicinity or elsewhere? Al prin tsa
matter furnished for one.n "a ,oz zne
X Horton, Desk 1856. Tekonsha, Mich.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

DISTRIBUTOR WANTED for Grand
turer: mar or woman; good pay: easy
work: no money needed. Write r.
F. Lincoln. 1922 Lincoln Ave-, Chi
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-11

FOR SALE-320 acres of land. six
miles from st. Thomas. at $50 per
acre. Inquire Box II. Churcls Ferry,
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Speaking Of Colds,

This is precisely what fully two
thirds of the people in this part OF the
country seem to be doing at this par
ticular time Of year and under such
weather conditions as have obtained
for the last few weeks. This morn
ing the New Englander who can
sound a nasal letter clearly and unob-
structedly is apt to be an object Of
envy among his or her associates
There appears to be no escape from
the suggestion Of cold. 1t is even
cold comfort to be told by DR.. J. B.
Huber, in the New York Medical
Journal, that colds seem to be the ex-
elusive privilege of civilization; that
the human race did not shuttle much
until 1t began to build houses and to
wear clothes, and that an essential
element in the catching Of colds has
been the disturbance Of equilibrium
in the body through constantly pass
ing from the superheated home into
low temperatures without the house.
The fact remains that the human
race, or that portion Of it which is
found in this latitude, does build
houses and wear clothes, and that it
finds houses and clothes indispens-
able, even when winter is engaged in
so mild an occupation as lingering in
the lap of spring.-Manchester Union
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
BABY's TERRIBLE CONDITION

when my baby boy was six months
old, his body was completely covered
with large sores that seemed to itch
and burn, and cause terrible suffering.
The eruption began in pimples which
would open and run, making large
sores. His hair came out and finger
nails fell off, and the sores were over
the entire body, causing little or no
sleep for baby or myself. Great scabs
would come off when I removed his
shirt.
eve tried a great many remedies,
but nothing would help him, till a
friend induced me to try the Cuticura
Soap and Ointment. 1 used the Cuti-
cura Soap and Ointment but a short
time before I could see that he was
improving, and in six weeks time he
was entirely cured. He had suffered
about six weeks before we tried the
Cuticura Soap and Ointment although
We had tried several other things, and
doctors too. I think the Cuticura
Remedies will do all that Is claimed
for them, and a great deal more"
(Signed) Mrs. Noble Tubman, Dodson,
Mont, Jan. %, 1911. Although Cuti-
cura Soap and Ointment are sold by
druggists and dealers everywhere, a
sample Of each, with 32-page book,
will be mailed free on application to
"Cuttcura," Dept. L, Boston.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
LIKE THE WOLF AND LAMB
inoffenslve Creatures Most Unlustly
Charged With Sudden Attack
of BIoodthirstness.

A man who was caught in the act
Of SHINING a neighbours sheep, Gov
cred his embarrassment by declaring
that no sheep could bite him and live.
The logic of this Is equaled by that
of the Yankee soldier who once had a
narrow escape from an enraged gan
der. The men Of certain Maine regi-
ment, which was in the enemy's coun-
try in 1862, considered the order mo
foraging" an additional and uncalled-
for hardship. One afternoon about
dusk, a soldier was seen beating
rapid retreat from the rear Of farm
house near by, closely pursued by a
gander with wings outspread, whose
feet seemed scarcely to touch the
ground, and from whose beak issued
succession Of angry screams. The
fugitive was not treasured by the cries
Of the gander's owner: Hold on.
man, hold on! He won't hurt you!"
Call off your gander! Call him off,"
shouted the fleeing soldier. Neither
man nor gander stopped until inside
the camplines, when the soldiers
friends relieved him of his fierce pur-
suer with the aid of the butt Of a
musket. did that gander think he
could chase me like that and live!"
the soldier exclaimed, as he surveyed
the outstretched bird; but he said
nothing of the baited hook, with cod
line attached, which might have
thrown light on the unfortunate gan
Ger's strange actions.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Modest Request.

That a reputation for oratorical ex-
cellence may have its handicaps is il
Illustrated by the experience in Arkan-
sas of certain member Of congress
noted for his mellifluous tongue.
One one occasion this statesman
was travelling in little-visited section
of the state mentioned when he stop
ped overnight in log cabin inhabi-
tated by an old man and his wife.
After breakfast the next morning, the
host, who had been in a autter of eS-
citement ever since he had learned
the identity of his distinguished guest,
said he would like to make one slight
request before the visitor departed.
"Couldn't you" he said, with evil
dent couldn't You jest make
my wife and me little speech before
leavin' us ?''-Harper's Magazine.