Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-02-01

from families ncah an far:
l say, when All considers dcm
All somehow got a hunch
II Won't be safe TO me to take
No chances wild dat punch
liz dis yere few dat An have named
Will be do only men
IN dis yere town OATS gwinc to go
To glory sure. we'll. then
l somehow got a feelIn' dat
From all de things Ah knows
-th'll take nah chances wild de crowd,
No mattah whar it goes.
HISTORY OF THE RUSSO
AMERICAN WAR.
Russia refuses passports OF Amci-
can citizens.
representative Bill Sulzer wants to
he q hero.
Gle hears about the American citi-
xens whose passport have been re-
fused.
He gets a redhot resolution passed
through Inc House calling the car
everything but q horse thief and calls
for the a%brogation OF the treaty Of
1882.
Statesmen who had never heard OF
the treaty OF 1882 rush to the state de-
partment fcverishly to find out what
it Is.
Great excitement on the first page.
The president sends u delicateiy per-
TUNED and politely worucd note to the
EAR asking that a new treaty be
ramed to take the place of the treaty
" 1882.
is n nature faker.
The president Is firm and tells con-
gress to trail along and make no re-
marks
Val is declared by all the yellow
newspapers. The entire American fleet
sN Wsv01r41 t- A1x~ l,,--., .N.-A x~y A.
:zar orders several dozen cans of en-
oalmed beef for his army from a firm
in Argentina. This Is 81 direct slap
ut the United States. War. bitter, cruel
war. is on.
h czar is surprised. The president
is surprised. Neither OF them had been
let into the secret.
There is brisk f~ighting-in front Of
all h polished mahogany oars in
Washington.
Excitement is intense. The plot
thickel.s. 1t almost curdles.
The cars reply is anxiously await
I'd. The cabinet sits up nights. Work
ia rushed in all the navy yards In Rus
STA and America. All of the Russian
wrestlers. toe dancers and wild west
riders appearing in this country are
called home to help defend their coun-
try.
All. at last the cars momentous
message m by cable. All. the
mighty portent Of the thing. What
can the czar have said?
The Ear has wished the president q
Happy New Year.
The president wishes the car many
happy returns Of the day.
The cruel war is over.
DIPPED FROM THE STREAM.
All conductors and brakemen on the
NyEf0 hnU0a hoNn NRSnWrar7 IN rpon - hi III
neckttes: but then any neckties is black
after one trip on the Erie.
Diamond Dick and Nick Carter be-
Ing dead, 1t looks as though all the
lurid literature will have to be inspired
Ivy Detective Burns.
Andrew C~arncgie's income Is $4,000
A day. Uncle Andy ran almost afford
To ave bacon and eggs for breakfast.
Congress is investigating the price
Of sugar. II it investigates far enough
1t will find that sugar is high.
A New York woman laughed herself
to death over a joke. Harry B. Smith
or George AIDE ought to find out what
that joke was and write q musical
comedy around it.
Buffum. who walked across the con-
tlnent broke the record, ate moth
ing hut peanuts. 1t would be abso-
iutely unsafe to turn that man loose
at q circus.
A Missouri jury mas placed a value OF
only 80 cents upon a stolen kiss. Per-
hape the jury demanded Il be shown.
Roast came Is being served In he
Paris restaurants and the customers
have to hump themselves to pay for It.
a New York widow says she can't
neep her little boy on $1,000 q year.
She VIII md It much harder when he
- Old enough to bring q wife nome
TO I've.
The army In San DOMINGO has fu.t
lot . general. but inasmuch a. there
: nothing but generals IN the army
b country will try to struggie alonx's
About time for somebody 10 ret nm.
: lit of the worlds 20 greetest Christ-
mas ohoppers.
= nan died while listening 70 .
speech Ct Senator Je8 Davis, Prob
ao1y h 0te0 VI old are.
market report Z y SIX n sar-
91nG. referrang no doubt 70 some six
6o9sehow Congreasman ealser =.
NAy6euanAo like . harmless. frtssy.
oogl 0Gsa drink.
On sO1op TINT u never ! Failure /.
a. OhaO presidential possibility cron.
jwlgin9 ~ the odor Of some az &
Ctlffotmqs clgarss b tobacco trust q
deotttn9 even In hn0 shape.
An0fkoe trial 81 The Upton Sinclair
diV0eCoScAoo has been orGaGod. e ~
- GSnoe0d ~ tn public.
~ 0lhdstone pOWte T. % eater
- 1aSaSfry. Thef Wtll IS ouife
AA- 49,