davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

A horse was standing along Chestnut
street the other day anchored by an
iron weight. The horse. not knowing
whit else to do to pass away the time,
was industriously chewing the strap.
A ncwsboy happened along. and after
watching the animal for awhile be
grinned cluster of grins and turned
to man who was standing near.
Don't say word" he gleefully re-
marked. "Old Umpire here is going to
hare the surprise of his life in few
minutes"
What is the matter with him?" ask
ed the man. glancing first at the hid
and then at the horse.
'.Nothin' is the matter with him"
was the happy rejoinder of the news
boy. He may eat the strap all right,
but when he gets down to that weight
he will think he has struck boardin'
house. "-Philadelphia Telegraph.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
III, s..,y II . Famous Hymn.

The story II Famous Hymn.
The famous hymn beginning God
moves in a mysterious way" known
a. "Cowper's Hymn" had its orb
gin . follows: Cowper was all his
lie the victim Of melancholia and
more than once attempted suicide.
One day. bent upon destroying himself,
he got into q cab and ordered the
driver to take him to certain point
on the river where he intended to
drown himself. The cabman. noticing
his strange appearance and feeling
that all might not be right with him.
drove him about the city and finally
stopped in front Of the poets door
Stepping out and recognising the old
familiar surroundings and shocked at
the thought Of his narrow escape.
Cowper exclaimed, God moves In .
mysterious way his wonders to Per
FORM" and, rushing in, Immediately
composed the immortal hymn.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
Suction.

People often speak Of chinineys
-dra wing" We also speak Of the sue
ton Of pump. There Is not 70 much
harm in these expressions. except that
they are liable to lead US away from
the true state AFFAIRS. But in truth
there Is NO such thing as suction. Sue
tion Is merely partial or entire absence
of pressure In one place which enables
the greater pressure Of air or fluid In
another place to rush In. In the case
Of the chimney the heated air in 1t
does not weigh SO much As an equal
volume Of cold air. and II the air In
the chimney. the air in tho room and
the outside air were all the same tenn
perature there would be no tendency
to any motion. But when the air In
the chimney Is hot 1t does not press
downword 10 much as the colder sur
rounding air presses upward. Conse-
quently an upward current ID started
and viii continue If the air In the
chimney Is kept hot.-A. 8. 8. Alderman
In London Express.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
tn. M.rs,. and IN. Pencil.


The marble trick ID a. old MS the days
Of Aristotle. Cross the middle and
fore fingers and roll a marble between
them. The marble will feel like two,
because 1t b being felt h an unaccus-
TONED way. II . psnrii b Drawn b.
tween the crossed fingers the one PEN
ell will feel like parallel bars. The
same illusion may be worked BY plac-
ing the. pencil between the lips and
then moving the under lip to one aide.
causing the pencil to feel like two.
More curious than any Of these II the
one where TN forehnger is crossed
over the little finger behind the other
two and then applied to the end Of the
nose. Not only can you feel two noses.
but one Of them seems to be about an
inch longer than the other. This last
sensation Is caused by the fact that
we do not ordinarily feel the edge of
any object with these two fingers at
the same time unless the part felt with
the little finger projects beyond the
part felt by the forednger.-St. Louis
Republic.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
An Ey. on tn. Future.

A man with 4 swollen finger TINT
had q deep abrasion under the ring
called Mt a jewelry store to get the
ring cut on. Before the operation was
begun he said:
.Can this ring be mended 80 pnw
broker will give me the usual amount
on it?'
at can be mended," said the jeweIer.
but doubt II you can ever persuade
a pawnbroker to accept 1t afterward."
Then l guess I'll take chances on
my finger getting well with the ring
on" said the young man and left the
store.
incidents like that" said the Jewell
er, "show what a surprisingly large
number Of Philadelphians live with
the pawnshop looming up just ahead
Of them as an unavoidable evil. OF all
the people who need their rings cut on
two-tIiirds of them ask that very ques'
ton. and large percentage Of them
take chances on blood poisoning rather
thnn destroy the rings value as a
pawnable asset."-Philadelphi Ledger.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

A prominent New York justice got
Jolt the other day, and he is telling the
story Of 1t yet. He said that late one
afternoon he gave case to jury
and that 1t was 4:3O O'Clock the follow
ing morning before the jury agreed
upon n verdict.
"I waited for the verdict" said the
Justice. "and after 1t was returned
told the jurors that, as it was possible
that most of them were married men.
II they desired I would give to each a
certificate that he had been detained
until 4:30 o'clock In the morning on
jury service.
1.-THE Jurors consulted together for d
few minutes" continued the Justice,
land then the foreman arose and said,
We thank you for your consideration
and appreciate the kindness of your
offer and desire to say that II your
honor needs certificate to the effect
that you were detained until 4:30
o'clock In the morning waiting for our
verdict we will gladly so certify"
The Justice hastily declined this
kind offer with thanks and just as
hastily adjourned court.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
Washing Your Hands.

When you 60 to the washstand and
carefully wash your hands with gen
srous application Of soap and hard
brush DO not think for an instant that
your hands arc clean. The tenacious
m3crobe refuses to be disturbed and
cIings to the nesh throughout the
whole operation. There are some chem
icaI compounds which will disiodge
the busy bacilh to q certain extent.
but not entirely. According to the In
vestigatiops Of q medical authority Of
tho Prussian army. the best results In
the direction Of giving the hands a
sanitary cleaning are accomplished by
the use Of alcohol. A bath OF pure
alcohol will remove about % per cent
Of the germs. Where It is desired to
clean the hands hygienically 1t Is rec
omnsuded that the hands be not drst
washed with water. for this will 20
adulterate the alcohol that 1t cannot
accomplish its work - effectively as
Otherwise.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

He was born in Dublin and lived In
Ireland until about two months ago.
when he came to Cleveland. Then he
began to look around for job. The
manager of furniture house PROM
ised to give him trial.
"C0me around in the morning and go
to work." he said, land IL you can de-
liver the goods we'll probably keep
you permanently"
The Dublin native went over TO tell
his cousin about 1t. He confided to
him that he didn't believe he'd go back
to take the job. after all.
"They want me to deliver the
goods" he said. 'sThink Of going
around delivering big. heavy furniture.
That's what horses and wagons are
for In my country."-Cleyelapd Plain
Dealer.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
u. Wouldn't Bril-. Them.

One of the cleverest bits Of election
sering dodgery engineered in England
was devised BY an agent who had been
forbidden to corrupt the electors. He
called meeting and attended with
his pockets full Of gold. 81 have to
inform you. gentlemen" he began.
shat there is to be no bribery on our
side during this election. Hear. hear)
For my part do not intend to give
away n penny piece. Uneasy silence)
But am afraid there are some ID
rascals in this room and that present.
" they will lay me ON the table and
take 800 sovereigns out Of my pock-
cts" The next few minutes he spent
upon the table.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
Changed the Name.

He had given up town life. with ita
cares and dissipation, and was living
In the country.
.."What charming cottagew exclaim-
ed dainty lady visitor from London.
what have you called itf'
~ have called 1t the Nutshell" he
told her. and she exclaimed:
ooh, how delightfulr'
After tea and cakes she took the
train back to London. wheFs she r.
mained for SIX months. Then ~ sran
down" to no him again.
"As sweet a. everr' she told him.
"But you have changed the name!
why Is It now Ches Nous?"
"WbyT' he responded, with some
warmth. Because was tired Of be-
ing jollied! Because WINS tired Of
being kidded! There isn't boy for q
mile round who hasn't rstopped and
rung the doorbeIi every time he passed
to ask If the colonel was in!"-London
Telegraph.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
A .w..b,ns" Mission.

The visiting housekeeper recently de-
scribed In the New York Sun must be
stout armed angel or she would never
have lived to write the entry In her
daybook quoted below:
Washed the sick woman in bed.
washed and dressed -four children. did
the washing. scrubbed two floors.
washed the dishes. washed the win
dows.~
A discriminating glance at this en-
try will disclose the fact that she
washed about everything in the house.
How the head Of the family escaped
the wash rag is not stated. Perhaps
there was no head.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
Oh. said .. Anyway.

The young man who was endeavor-
Ing to win the favor OF Bobby's pretty
sister met the boy on the street one
morning and greeted him with much
cordially.
"Er-do you think your sister was
pleased to know had called the other
dayr' he was at last forced to ask.
bluntly, after several efforts to guide
Bobby's conversation In that direction.
'sure!' said Bobby. with gratifying
pr0mptness. ~ know she was. l
heard her say So
when she came home mother said.
MIR. Brown called while you were OUT
and she said: He did? Well, I'm glad
of thatr "-Youth's Companion.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

For ink spots on leather chairs wash
the spots with milk. renewing the milk
till 1t il no longer stained and the
spot on the leather has disappeared.
Then wash the leather with warm wa
ter. and when dry polish It with very
little linseed oil and vinegar mixed In
equal parts. The ink stain should be
removed ~ quickly a. possible. for II
allowed to dry and harden 1t il doubt
full whether you win ever be able to
entirely remove It.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

At Broadmoor and Perth. England.
the criminal lunatics hive a free sup
ply Of the most exquisite pipe tobacco,
cigars and cigarettes. In fact. they
smoke far finer stun than the average
rich man. Yet all this good tobaeco
costs the government nothing The
smugglers Of England pay for the
smoking of the criminal insane 1t r.
from her con6scated smuggled tobacco
that England fills the tobacco boxes Of
Perth and Broadmooe.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
Life,


An, what Is life, SO brief at best?
A waking between rest and rest;
An insects rail- along the sand:
A gems bright fash upon tho hand;
A wave line traced on oceans shore.
Just rippled there. then seen no more;
A breath upon frosted pane.
A moment warmed. then chilled again;
The shadow Of n cloud that stays
Until obscured by passing haze.
Canst think of aught more brief, more
fleet,
To image forth Times flying feetf
Yet In the shadow, In the breath.
Our love awakes, which knows no death,
And life. which seems SO brief to be.
Il crowned by Immortality!
Margaret May
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

! a royal masgotl l am soldier,
come from the people. have made
myselfi Am I to be compared with
Louis XVII listen to everyb body. but
my own mind II my only counselor.
There are some men who have done
France more harm than the widest
rpyolutionaries-the takers and the IA
ttoaaiists. Vague and false thinkers, a
fsw lessons Of geometry would do
them good.-Napoleon Quoted in 1.-THE
Coesican'C.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

Some years ago. when playing In
IAeds, l started q swimming compe-
tition among the members Of my COM
pany and to encourage them offered
a. a prize . silver loving cup (won,
BY the way, BY tho late Edward Lon
nen,. The event apparently created
some interest in the town. and friend
beard two men engage In discussion
a. follows:
First Mani say, burst to know this
ere Terry's given . coop to bes' swim
nner + company
second Man-Aye. What's that for?
First Man-Oh, suppose It's to keep
them play actors clean.-Edward Terry
In Era Annual.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
Sapsasss LsSss.

a teacher Of English In japan ~
eeutly nave a. an sxaninatioo Qpes-
ttpa. .What " q vsnttlatorT Bestdes
t. number Of answers that were ap-
peeximately correct there were two
Which Indicated that the students
nuss have bsen absent either In body
e mind on the day when the school
room ventilator had been discussed.
Ths FIRST was, 1.-The ventiiator lives In
the mountains" the second, "COlum-
bus was q great ventilator." When
occasion offered the teacher reminded
his class that attention and application
are regulate for acquiring knowledge
and sefiously asked them why any
one should have given an answer such
~ the one concerning Columbua Ono
OF the best spokesmen in the class
assayed an explapation somewhat ~
follows:
columbus brought new ideas back to
the old world: he changed the current
Of thought and opened a great door
into the new and outer world; there
fore he YVES q great ventilator."-
Youths Companion.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

A girl named Norah O'Brien had
been employed ms housemnid for a
week. so an English story runs. dur
ing which time she had drunk the con-
tents of a bottle of choice whisky.
She became dissatisfied with her posi-
ton and asked her employer for a
character" Her employer wrote
"Norah o'Brien has been in my EN-
ploy only week, but know that
there is much that Is good In her."
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
n. Man Win !. Geld.

Tho sympathy given to the man with
. hard cold IL purely perfnnctory-
We know, or at least We think We
know, that he win mot die. We know
that be II thoroughly wretched. yet
We are equally certain that In three
days or no be will be coming upstairs
two at time. This does not comfort
him, though hs may know 1t himself.
He therefore feels himself an outcast.
a pariah. He n cut OF from the
ordinary human relations. II he 50
much a. kisses his wife or child he
IL q backyard, mentally self convict
ed Of It. Nobody loves him, and he
may 70 out into the Kitchen and drink
cough sirup.-Boston Transcript.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

And the other fishing days 49, yos
S0t up before dawn and stole down
stairs to the dim kitchens drink Of
milk. q doughnut and q triangle II pie.
then you stole ont quietly TO tn iarn
and got the spading fork: then the
search, armed with fork and tomato
can, under the broad leaves Of Tie Shu-
barb bed, back Of the heuhofss and
down by the COW barn until yeu had
enough worms for the days sport.
Then Of course you left the fork stick
Ing in the ground-you never would
learn to put things away-and started
OF: through the garden and orchard.
stopping long enough for handful Of
currants and 4 pocketful Of sopsavines
-over the pasture bars, eating . hand
full OF huckleberries or low bush black
berries here and there; into the wood
road-very dark and still In the dawn
where you stepped along very quietly
20 a. not to disturb the hsars you
knew perfectly well there were no
bears. but you rather enjoyed the
creepy sensation); then out through
the deep wet meadow grass to the riv-
er. where the sun was now beginning
to burn away the wisps Of mist and
the red winged blackbirds were max
Ing a tremendous fuss over their house
keeping. You reached the river bank
at the pout hole or the big rock or the
old willow (of course you know the ex-
act place., and then you started nsh-
ing.-Atlantic.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
ARTISTIC TASTE.


In This ths Frsneh Ar Ftss< a~d ~
irish cssss Nest.
Artistic TASTE IL doc to temperament.
end whsrs this EXIST the simplest ma
terials lend themselves to artistic CON-
binations and beautiful e6ects.
The Frsseh excel In dainty, gracsful
designs because Of their volatile. mlrth
loving temperaments. Tho Germans
can never reach these heights because
their tempsraments, arc Just the re-
verse. while II has been proved In sew
eral workrooms that, next to the
French. the Irish temperament IL the
most artistic.
The mope artistic the general train
Ing OF a person the mors ready are
they to appreciate and prodt BY the
ans productions Of others: hence we
arc glad to see and grateful for the
privilege Of studying the models"
brought from Paris each season by the
enterprising importers.
twenty-five years ago in Paris and
London the houses that catered to
America and the colonies put aside for
this trade any designs that were too
extreme or ''screaming' for the fastid-
ious home buyers. says the Millinery
Trade Review. But times have changed.
and the American woman u now con-
sidered the beet dressed in the world.
and the leaders Of American society
are the women who dictate quite ~
much as the elite Of France.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

Pepys. the diarist. was greatly scan.
datised when no 1rst saw cards played
on Z Sunday. II did ind the queen,
the Duchess Of York and another at
cards. with the room full OF ladies and
grpat men. which was amazed to see
% q Sunday. having not believed, but
costrarily Salty denied the same = lit
tie While since"
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
A Pointer to Others.

He-Going to marry the rich jack
Hammond2 Why. I thought he had
thrown all his money to the dogs. She
80 he did. but they turned out to bS
MISREPRESENTATION NJ. A. p.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

"what did father say when you ask
ed him for my hand?"
.4Ob." replied Augustus. "he-he did
his best to be pleasant. He said there
was something about me that he real
IL admired"
"Did he say what?
eyes; my i,upudence."
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

"My income Is small" said a ratllee
dilatory lover. land perhaps It IL cruel
Of me to take you from your fathers
roof"
"But I don't live on the roof" was
the prompt reply.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
Dmsli rh;asa

We are too fond Of our own will.
We want to be doing what We fancy
mighty things, but the great point b
to - small things when called to them
in z rigAt spirit.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
His Sun.

Mrs. Buggins-Before We were mar
he'd you used to say was the sun
shine Of your life. Mr.. Buggins-Well.
admit that you still do your best to
make things hot for me.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

Throe feoH aN9 Q Yae9.
The trouble with buying residence
property by the front foot 10 that It
requires considerably more than thFee
feet to make 4 presentabls Yard
Kansas City Star.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

10 give awkwardly IL churiishness.
The most dimcult part b to give. Thsn
why not ed . sHtlsf-LA Bfuyeea
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

n money didn't talk. some peopls
would never b heard se.-PhiladslpA1a
Telegraph.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
SELF oatjsNeA,

Sell oat5ssyed.
Look at the self satisfied dub! Now
what commendable trait does be pos
sessr'
well. that Of being easily pleased"
-Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25
tn, Convenient Excuse

the C6hV0uI0Hx EN1u1t
Hard luck Is generally the name peo-
ole give to the thing that happens
when they have been acting foOlishly.
Chicago Record Herald.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

Laughing cheerfulness throws sun
uxht on all the paths of lifc.-Richtsf.
The Meeker herald., 1912-05-25

According to Chinese law. q wife
who Il too laxative may b divorced.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1912-10-29

wards the front AZ inches and
pin the sleeve in at that point.
Then measure again from the un-
derarm seam of the waist up to-
wards the back 81 inches and pin
the sleeve there. Between the
~ and 35z points the sleeve is
basted plain into the armhole,
and the waist should be held to-
wards you during this basting to
preserve the curves.
Holding the sleeve next to you,
gather the remaining edge and
haste into the armhole, distribut-
ing whatever gathers there may
be, with perfect evenness.
The second rule is to crease
the waist, on a warp thread, close
to the armhole, beginning at the
shoulder seam and extending to
a short distance below the bot
tom of the armhole, letting this
crease cross by the first one.
At the intersection of these
creased lines make a third crease
diagonally up to the armhole. Pin
the inside seam of the sleeve at
the point where the creased line
touches the armhole. Follow the
other measurements for basting
the sleeve in.
To make a sleeve set right
across the top, after it is stitched
in and the seam finished, turn the
seam towards the shoulder seam,
and where there is lining tack
the seam edge to the lining for a
distance of two or three inches
-
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1912-10-29

Private Unison was relating
his experiences of the Boer war.
He said he was once taken pris-
oner and the Beers stripped him
of all his clothing.
did you feel the cold much?"
asked pal
NO" replied Unison, mot at
all. You see, they carefully COW
cred me with their rifles"
WEATHER FORECAST
Generally fair tonight and
Wednesday for Chicago and vi
cinity; colder; brisk west winds,
shifting to northwest tonight.
y
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1912-10-29
LATE NEWS

- ~ - - -
Salem, Ore.-Salem Bank &
Trust Co.'S building was blown
here at noon today. Pres. East
and several others seriously in
jured. East will probably die.
Cause unknown.
Worth, Ill.-Tony Landers,
one of three convicts who escap-
ed from Joliet prison last Sunday,
was captured here today.
Winchester, Ill.-Wm. Rhodes,
self-confeSsed murderer of his
mother-in-law, escaped from jail
here. Bloodhounds traced him.
Found dead in well. Suicide.
Bloomington, Ind.-Wm. Cat
lin, p, charged with burglary,
broke jail here today. Escaped.
Decatur, Ind.-Auto engine
exploded here. Gerhard and inc.
Hessler, brothers, fatally injured.
Case of Jack Johnson, negro
pugilist, continued today until
Nov. II.
Utica, N. Y.-There is no inn
mediate danger in condition of
Vice President Sherman.
-O-O-
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1912-04-13

for d good thing. should ask you to
come in with me, but you'll be busy
with your cattails."
woman, what--what is thlsi" shout
ed Mr.. Bowser as he stood up.
"And | think / might convert lemon
peels into alligator skins" she went
on. "Just think how many could be
picked up at Coney Island in day by
hustling boy!"
81 don't understand, by thunder, l
don'tp'
He Catches the Point.
And then he caught the smile on
Mrs. Bowser's mouth, and when she
was forced to laugh aloud he roared:
"Insultedl Insulted and humillated
in my own house! BY the living lingo.
but this is too much-too muchI'
"But those cattails! Those ostrich
plumesp'
Mrs Bowser. leave the housed
leave 1t never to enter 1t again! No
living, breathing woman can make a
fool Of mel"
"But you know
"Too late Too later
And he stamped down the hall aud
was in such a hurry to get outdoors
that he carried his hat in his hand and
his overcoat on his arm. He did not
go far or stay away long, however.
He went over and told his story to the
druggist, and the man Of hair dyes and
plasters soothingly said:
"Bowser, there is just one way you
can get ahead Of that wife OF yours"
| How
"Get admitted to an idiot asylum"
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1912-04-13
True TO Form.

The Anonymous Correspondents were
holding a reunion.
Veritas had told II fish story.
Fair Play had sung Il comic song that
he knew one of the others was intend
Ing to sing.
Justitia had occupied twice the time
that had been allotted to him.
Pro Bono Publico had made a speech
advocating n wide open town.
Vindex had been called a liar and
had not resented II.
Pax Vobiscum had raised a fuss be-
cause the cigars were FIVE centers.
"Gentlemen, spoke the toastmaster,
II should like to hear few words
from our silent friend on the other side
of the table. whose name seem to be
unable to recall"
Never mind me-" said the silent
friend. I'm vox Populi; never talk
except when have something to kick
about."-Chicago Tribune.