Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1912-07-19
Illustrated FROM
HOTOGRAPHS OF
HE PLAY AS PRODUCED
+ HENRY w SHNAGEs,
eopn1.o'.r s'r T. hErrr co


The troubled features of the baf-
fled porter cleared up as by magic
when he arrived at number three, for
there he found his tyrant and tor
mentor, the English invader.
He remembered how Indignantly
Mr.. Wedgewood had refused to show
his ticket, how cocksure he was Of
his number, how he had leased the
porter's services as sort OF private
nurse, and had paid no advance roy.
alties.
| And now he was sprawled and snor'
ing majestically among his many lug
cages, like sleeping lion. Revenge
tasted good to the humble porter; 1t
tasted like candied yam smothered
in 'possum gravy. He smacked his
thick lips over this revenge. With
all the insolence of servant in brief
authority, he gloated over his prey,
and prodded him awake. Then MUIR
INJURED with hypocritical Difference:
Excuse me, but could see yo' ticket
for yo' seat?"
Certainly not! It's too much
trouble" grumbled the half asleeper.
"Confound you!"
The porter lured him on: rs you
sho' you got one?"
Wedgewood was wide awake now,
and surly as any Englishman before
breakfast: "Of cawse I'm shaw. How
dare you?"
TOO bad, but I'm 'bleeged to ask
you to gimme peek at it,
This is an outrage"
"Yassah, but just nachelly got to
see It,"
Wedgewood gathered himself to-
gether, and ransacked his many pock-
cts with increasing anger. muttering
under his breath. At length he pro-
duced the ticket and thrust 1t at the
porter: "Thah, you idiot, are you con-
WINGED now?"
The porter gazed at the billet with
ill-concealed triumph. "Yassah. rs
convinced" Mr. Wedgewood settled
back and closed his eyes. IFS con-
WINGED that you is in the wrong
BERTH"
Impossible! I won't believe you!"
the Englishman ragged, getting to his
feet in fury.
perhaps you'll believe Mista Tick
et," the porter chortled. He says
numba ten. and that's ten across the
way and down the road q piece"
This is outrageous! l decline to
move"
"You may decline, but you move
Just the same," the porter said, reach
ing out for his various bags and car
ryalls. 'The train moves and you
move with It."
Wedgewood stood fast: 'You had
no right to put me in here In the
first place"
The porter disdained to refute this
Islander. He stumbled down the aisle
with the bundles. Its too bad, It's
suit nly too bad, but you sholy must
come along"
Wedgewood followed, gesticulating
Violently.
"Here-wait-ho dare you! And
that berth is made up. l don't want
to 20 to bed now!"
'Mista Ticket says, Go to baid!'"
"Of all the disgusting countries!
Heah, don't put that thah-heah.'
The porter flung his load anywhere,
and absolved himself with curt, us
got otha passengers to wait on now.
Il shall certainly report you to the
company" the Englishman fumed.
"Yassah, p'sume so.''
"Have got to 60 to bed now? Real
ly, L" but the porter was gone. ana
the irate foreigner crawled under his
curtains, muttering, Il shall write
letter to the London Times about
this"
To add to his misery, Mrs. Whit
comb came from the Women's Room.
and as she passed him, she prodded
him with one sharp elbow and twisted
the corner Of her heel into his little
toe. He thrust his head out with his
fiercest, "How dare you!" But Mrs.
Whitcomb was fresh from pro-
longed encounter with Mrs. Yelling
ton, and she flung back venomous
glare that sent the Englishman to
cover.
The porter reveled in his victory till
he had to dash out to the vestibule
to give vent to hilarious yelps Of
laughter. When he had regained COM
posure, he came back to Mallory. ana
bent over him to say:
"Yo' berth is empty. sab. Shall l
make it up?"
Mallory nodded, and turned to Mar
jorie, with a sad. Good night, darl-
ing"
The porter rolled his eyes again.
and turned away. only to be recalled
by Marjorie's voice: Porter. take
this old handbag out of here"
The porter thought of the van
pushed Lathrop, exiled to the smok-
ing room, and he answered: THAT be-
longs to the gemman what owns this
BERTH"
PUT it in number one" Marjorie
commando ed, with queenly gesture.
The porter obeyed meekly, wonder
ing what would happen next. He had
no sooner deposited Lathrop's valise
among the homogeneous white ribbons.
than Marjorie recalled him to say:
"And, porter, you may bring me my
own baggage"
''Yo what-missus?
''Our handbags, idiot" Mallory ex-
planned, peevishly.
Il amt seen no handbags Of you
alls," the porter protested. "You-all
didn't have no handbags when you got
on this cah."
Mallory iumped as II he had been