The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1912-10-17
THRILLING ADVENTURE
OF BUSINESS WOMAN


does seem to me that am never free
from the thrall of the hat. Just after
Christmas 1t begins to hang over me
like a pail and when the spring mats
really begin to sprout in the windows
get perfectly morbid" (Speaks very
humbly to naughty saleswoman) If
you could wait on us, please, 1t would
be so kind of you. Something small,
II you please" ITO sister while
naughty saleswoman departs In search
OF haD. Dear me! ! wish ! didn't
get so positively abject on these occas.
ions l know some people who really
get bitter satisfaction out OF sailing
into exclusive millinery establish
ments. where the hats are dreams OF
beauty and becomingness, and de-
handing to be shown CONNECTIONS
whose prices send the cold chills down
ones back, and then departing with
dissatisfied shake OF the head. But
not 80 l. fell impudent when cast
even a glance at the wonderful
things"
(Haughty saleswoman returns bal
ancing a hat on her hand. She looks
bored to extinction. Business woman
removes her much battered, squashy
and obviously home made headgear
and hands 1t to her sister. She looks
doubtfully at the hat In the saleswom'
ans hand).
Business woman-"It looks awfully
big"
Saleswoman-"It's the smallest hat
in the house, madam. Small hats are
not worn at all"
Business woman (hastily)-"Oh, OF
course, | know the bats are all big.
But you see my face is 80 small that
when l get one of these large things
on look just like monkey. really
don't think It's worth while for me to
try 1t on. I'm sorry to trouble you,
but IL you could find something that
wouldn't sit quite so far down on my
head I'd be so much obliged" (She
smiles pathetically and the saleswom-
an fiounces away.
Sister (disgustedly)-"Youre worse
than abject, Sarah. You're perfectly
maudlin."
(Haughty saleswoman returns and
suddenly engulfs business woman In a
hat about two feet high and with a
crown like a scrubbing paiD.
Business woman (gasps)-"Oh,
deari Where am /? Why, really
don't you think this one is bigger than
the other?"
Saleswoman-"No, madam; 1t is
not"
Business woman docking forlornly
and alphabetically toward showcase
-"But some of those hats are small
err, aren't they? I think I'll Just step
over and look at them" (She gath
ers up her belongings with the air of
a detected sneakthief and sidles
over to the showcase. Naughty sales.
woman turns away with an air of deep
disdain)
Business woman (almost in tears)
why won't they be nice to me?
If they only realized 1t, I'm such an
an easy mark A kind person
could sell me anything"
little backbone I'm perfectly ashamed
of you. Now. there's pretty hat and
a little one at that. Ask that girl
over there to take 1t out and show 1t
to you"
Business woman latter braclng her
self to the effort of addressing an
other goddess of the millinery world,
fades away In deep humiliation upon
being told that the price of the hat
In question Is $25)-"She could tell
by the culver In my voice that 1t
was not for the likes of me-"
Sister-"Why didn't you make her
take it out and show 1t to you. any
way? That's what they're here for"
business woman latter vainly tray
cling up and down and around and
around counters and showcases)-
DO you suppose If I wore one of
these | would lose my job?"
Sister-"Here. try this one Now.
If you had big bandeau 30 that you
would look little as II you had on a
hat and not a necklace.
Business womaA gratefully
How cheering you are! (She peers
out from under the hat with the air
of startled rabbit) Would you mind
asking one of the saleswomen II they
have bandeaus?'
Sister latter pursuing saleswoman
around the counter and finally bring.
ing her to bay)-"I want a large
bandeau. One that Will hold hat up
off the head"
Saleswoman (languidly and without
offering to move)-"You mean halo.
No, we don't carry them. They're not
worn" (She resumes her important
occupation of gazing dreapily into
space. Sister returns to business
woman. who Is still in a millinery
eclipse. She regards business woman
thoughtfully for moment. Then a
triumphant light suddenly comes into
her eyes. She fairly snatches the aat
from the business woman's head.
Sister (gleefully)-"They don't have
halos. But" (She seizes the old
hat, and stuffs it inside the other one,
then replaces the new hat on business
woman's head, where 1t perches In
most sprightly. II somewhat precari-
Gus. way
business woman (regarding herself
with more or less satisfaction In the
mirror)-"You're a genius!" (Wheed-
lngly). You're 30 awfully clever and
SO yery very brayet In fact 7 don't