New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-09-06
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The confidence that or foreign friends
have boz our great America IS almost "a
tnetic. albeit their geographical knowledge
NAV hc rather hazr. a. a certain settle
me1t worker in 81 middle Western city
found out recently Sire was examining
Lithuanian a. % the validity OF her
marriage. "Of course m married said
the woman. Indignantly. producing . mar
rage certificate. which written IN q for
eign tongue. vas az Greek to the ques-
toner. Where were YOU married." she
asked Cant you resdT" was the re-
ioinder. pointing 20 the paper IN her hand.
spsrring FOR time. the visitor asked 4
mean BOZ what countryT when quick a. A
nash came the retort. why. Ia the coun-
uy OF Des Molnes
Wealth doesn't always BRING happi-
ness remarked the youugster with the
large spectacles
Nav asserted the other KID Look
AZ me cousin yondcr. He's got Two cents
and he cant decide hetEs~cn lolfpops and
ice cream. Pittsburgh Post
4 man VINO for several wears has spent
his vacation In a place which had little
attraction for him save that his wife
called u home" and the children received
an the attention that fond grandparents
could bestoT. returned 10 his New York
apartment house as usual on Labor Day.
This is the FIRST time IN four years ne
said. that the time passed quickly IN that
quiet place Did YOU find better com
pany7" No" he said lust the same
old lot but 7 have a note 20 pay or the
10th OF this month. and n ever YOU want
time 10 slip away quickly Just sign one OF
those papers"
Father t. % tru. that two can live as
cleaply as one
That's an old SAYING my dear.
Do you believe it,
r think II can be done
But n I marry George 90 YOU think
YOU can manage 90 support him with the
sum you nov spend on me every year? -
Detroit Free Press.
Tho multiplicity Of uses 20 which mod
ern mechanical household contrivances
can be- put Is APPLY illustrated by the
experience a few evenings ago, OF A
French horn player in volpe's orchestra.
This musician was about 20 leave his
home In Brooklyn for the nights concert
on the Mail. when he noticed that the
case In which he carried his instrument
was unlocked. Luckily he stopped TO in
vestigate lie soon discovered that his
small son. with the perverse ingenuity
OF youth. had poked an apple into the
end OF the horn. where II fitted so tightly
that no amount Of persuasion could dis
lodge H. After q frantic fifteen minutes
work and Just as he was about TO give
W. the job a. hopeless. the musician
found Providence coming TO his aid IN
vacuum cleaner, The nozzle OF the
cleaner was htted into the bell OF the
horn, the power was turned on, and out
came the apple
It's wonder 10 me" said Uncle Ebcn.
dat some smart politician doesn APP
peal straight 10 de hearts OF de. popuiace
by demandin a gineral Tree list Ton
circuses Washington star.
The chauffeur OF Baron Msrschall Won
Bieoerstein. the German Ambassador In
London. figures as the defendant In an in
teresting case. and the ambassador him
self mas lent piquancy 10 the proceedings.
Hugh snowie Jones. Welsh Cockney,
charged with speeding invoked immunity
under the act OF Parliament OF i70s which
exempts foreign ambassadors and their
domestics" from arrest on lessl process.
Baron Marsehall declined TO indorse mis-
servants claim. telling the court that the
man had evidently "a better head for
excuses than for beer" The law how