davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
HUMBUGGING THE NEW YORKER

HUMBUGGING THE NEW YORKER
 From the New York Press.
 Probably nowhere in all the world ea1 so many F. z. Marks be found undeI single roof at one time as there maJ be seen hereabouts sitting around Mari quis of Queensberry ring, in a choking atmosphere, to watch pair of yeggl make passes at each other with sof| gloves. For the latest of these pitiful ex hibitions of the manly art" no less thal 5000 was paid. Beyond all doubt thl imposition on the audience was such that had the same thing been tried in an] community which does not enjoy being bilked, the crowd would have mobbed the box office and run the alleged fghterl out of town. New York's easy ones, how ever, contented themselves with a feyI half hearted misses and then went out td be despoiled further by restaurateurs| walters, hat check boys and taxicab drivI CTS
 Still the comic papers keep on misrepl resenting the hayseed as the type of easill gulled Americans, the cartoonists and paragraphers remaining in stubborn igI norance of the fact that more comel ons dwell within sight of the Metropoli| tan tower than there are in all the on} night stands of the United States. TherI really is no reason for repeating the boxI ing law that does not apply just al well to the principle upon which thI state builds homes for tfesfeeble minded But if the E. Z. Marks we're not bunkoe{ with fake prize fights they would be lil<e| ly to invest their money in 520 per cenI get rich quick games or. blow it in oi theatrical "entertanment" which woul be greeted like "fhe Playboy" nearl} everywhere else by the eggs of morI than overheated Gaels. Patrons of tn pastime which knew such opponents al John Lawrence Sullivan, before it bel came a swindle, ought really to be lefl to their own resources with liberal choice of the means of parting fools ant their money.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
THE UNDERWOOD BOOM

From the Columbus (Ga.) Ledger.
 Commenting upon the Underwood boom for the presidency, Congressman Ayers of the Eighteenth New York district is quot ed as saying;
 ''The days when 1t was popular to wave the bloody shirt are over. For sentiment tai reasons a southern candidate would make a strong appeal in the north, for our people are eager for some opportunity to show their kindly feelings for the south and its statesmen. Then you must not forget there are more southerners in New York city than in any southern city ''
 Congressman Underwood is undoubtedly growing in favor.
 Walter Harper. Washington correspond- ent of the Birmingham Age-Herald, sends out the following special George 1T. Parker of Cullman spent today in Washington on his way home from New York, where he had been on business.
 T was in New York about a month ago, and am very much gratifed to find that since that time Oscar Underwood has grown wonderfully in the east" said MT. Parker.
 When I was in New York a month ago prominent banker in the financial dis triet expressed to me his personal liking for MT. Underwood, and said that he would like to see him President but that he did not believe there was any chance for his nomination or election While in this same bankers office a few days ago he again broached the subject, and said that he wanted to correct his former statement. He said that it is now his opinion that MT. Underwood can be nominated and is certain that he will be elected If he Is nominated Tt is my honest opinion that the only thing now necessary to secure the nomination is for the south to display the proper courage, forget any temerity or sectional preju- dice and demand what they want. The north and east stands ready to recognize the claim of the south in such man as MT. Underwood" "
 The south should stand by southern CT, so long as there Is a possible chance n plprt him
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
RAT SOLD AS A DOG

Paris Cor. New York Tribune
 The renewal of the fashion for small dogs has just led to remarkable case of fraud, the victim of which is one of the pest known women in Par.s society. Ii should be known that toy dogs have once again come into special favor in Paris partly on account of the restriction of the tramways concerning the right to take q dog with one while travelling about the city.
 The very large muff so much in fashion has given many women an excellent means of evading the difficulty. while others buy silk bags specially made fol the purpose to carry their Belgian grif. ions from place to place. Nevertheless the demand for smaller dog is con. stantly growing.
 Walking up and down the fashionable side of the Avenue de Bois de Boulogne the other morning was a man who had several toy dogs to show off, ostensibly for sale. One of the smallest of them was particularly diminutive specimen oi the griffon. Finally a woman stepped ur to ask it's price. The man made the little dog perform several tricks, and then, after some minutes conversation, informed her that he had a still more remarkable speci- men in his coat pocket. He then fished out little creature scarcely more than half the size of the first.
 The woman concluded what she thought was bargain and what the man said was sacrifice. She put the little one Tn her muff went off to luncheon, and, on getting home again, pulled him out from his hiding. For a minute or two the an- imal showed fear. but then, to her great amazement and that of her servant, the little griffon suddenly started toward the window and ran up one of the curtains with the speed and agility not at all un- like the best known qualities of mouse The butler and footman were called, and there was an exciting chase about the drawing room before the little wonder was captured. The new owner was then rather more mortified than surprised tc find that her griffon was nothing else but rather oversized rat that had been sewed Into a dogs skin.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
THE scHooLMAsTER IN POLITICS

From the New York World.
 When Colonel Watterson perceived in Woodrow Wilson qualities which led him to doubt whether Governor Wilson Is not rather a schoolmaster than states man. he spoke from the old fashioned southern point of view. The north IS more familiar with the man who is both schoolmaster and statesman.
 The southern presidents of the republic have been generally men of independent property who did not need to seek teach ing for a temporary income while study ing law. But Andrew Jackson taught school, rather badly for lack of train ing; he was also ''autocratic if not ty- ranous," and yet had many qualities of a great President. Thomas Jefferson was a teacher somewhat like pr. Wilson in that he built up a great university and was prouder of 1t than of having been President Robert E. Lee, not states man, but a famous Nirginian, was a schoolmaster in the evening of his il- lustrious life.
 In the north the choolmaster-states- man was for 100 years almost the rule. John Adams was one; and in a nearer day Pierce, Garfield, Arthur, Hayes, Cleve- land, Mckinley. It was once Grant s honorable ambition to become a pro lessor in West Point Nothing but lack of the learning to get a license prevented Abraham Lincoln from teaching while studying law. He could haze handled the bad boys Of the district With tact ol muscle as the case required.
 Whether schoolmaster may become useful also as a statesman is not a ques- ton to be settled offhand. 1t depends upon circumstances and upon the man.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
MARSH HENRY SAYS
tl,n I.o,lisrille Times

From the Louisville Times.
 Washington.-Shown Governor Wilson s description of him as "a nice old gentle man" Henry Watterson today said:
 "Surely, as Mrs. Malaprop observed. the governor speaks laconcally. Age is rela- tive. l am not old enough to go back on a friend and call it a virtue.
 Mir. Watterson was asked about the claim that in speaking of the Harvey Wilson incident. he violated confidence. .
 'Who said that?' he asked.
 ''Mr. Bruce of Baltimore" he was old.
 "Ah. yes he said, Baltimore. Balti- more, that is the place where they spell civil service in small capitals, take their politics in white ehol1ers and their religion in silk hat6 and swallowraf coats and ex- pect to go to Charley Bonaparte when they die. I always did feel sorry for Bal timore.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
Acreage of the New Planting seasor

Acreage of the New Planting Season
 While the yield depends more upon the weather than upon the acreage planted, yet the acreage is factor in the case. A reduced acreage and bad weather conditions coming to- gether would indeed mean a small crop. Better methods of cultivation Fare beginning to have an effect upon a seasons total, and this influence bids fair to spread from farm to farm until it doubles at least the output from a given acreage. But better cultivation is a plant of slow growth and many years will pass before mod ern cultivation becomes the rule in the south. When it does every acre will mean a bale of cotton.
 At present, however, we must go on accepting bale from three acres, and the crop of this year will be made on that basis. The weather thus far has not been favorable for preparations for a large acreage. Continued rains in December rendered the roads impossible and many farm CTS have not been able to place fer tilizers ready for use on the farm. Some have been unable to pick and market the cotton grown last year. This is not the case in this part of Alabama. In the delta sections cot ton picking and planting will soon be going on side by side. There are careless people on the farms as well as elsewhere.
 The recent rise in the price of cot ton may encourage some farmers to plant acres that would otherwise have gone implanted, and taking the case by and large it seems probable that an average acreage will be handed over to King Cotton again this year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

ton when he gave up his seat in a rail- way car to an old lady Of rural appear ance.
 Dr. II. (with affable patronage and meaning to give old lady treaD; Per haps you would like to know, ma'am, who has just given you a seat l am Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmesr'
 Old lady (unmoved and with stony com posure): Any relation tew the Holmeses daown in Duxbury?" Sudden willing of the "Autocrat"
 Our soil and climate are not yet favor able to the cult of the Hero as Man of Letters"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

Ffcn the New York Press.
 man who appreciates himself hardly ever can anybody else.
 If a maa borrows from another who dies he thinks the debt is paid.
 If there were any way of knowing what a girl means by what she says she wouldn't say it.
 When a man talks he can hear only himself: but a woman can talk and hear everybody else in the room.
 One of the mysteries of life is why q man can he so much pronder of liking oorned beef and cabbage than of being a good example
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
The "I<ilties- Coming

John Hazza, general representative of Canada's famous band the "Kilties," spent yesterday in Birmingham. He an nounced that this. band would give a matinee and a night concert here the second week in February. It is great organization of 40 performers-all of them Scots. It wears the Hfghlanders' costume hence the name.
 "The 'Kilties' have toured the world D said MT. Hazza. "They gave within two years 1000 concerts in 20 countries The band was greatly appreciated by the late King Edward and as mark of his esteem his majesty presented the conductor with a baton and also with the Victoria medal
 Tn the United States the 'Kilties are playing to crowded houses and Bir- mngham will doubtless give them q cordial welcome"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
THE MAN FOR THE PLACE

From M. A. P.
 Dignity and seriousness of conduct ap- pertain to courts of law, but there are now and then judges who give occasional reign to their sense of humor.
 The late Lord Young of the Seottlsh bench was responsible for enlivening many a dull case One of the most amusing remarks that ever fell from his lips was the reply to counsel who urged on behalf of a plaintiff of somewhat biDuioos appearance. My client. my lord, IS a most able man, and holds a very res2on- sible position: he is manager of some waterworks."
 After a long look. the judge answered; "Yes, he looks like a man who could be trusted with any amount of water
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
Taft and Teddy in Oklahoma

In the fourth congressional district of Oklahoma the first actual dele gates to the republican national con vention were selected on Tuesday, and the Taft steam roller won by vote of 118 to 32. No effort was spared to Stampede the convention for the Sage of Oyster Bay, but despite the send ing up of Roosevelt balloon and the riding of a rough rider down the hall, the convention stood true to Taft. The steam roller and patronage in hand are worth two in the bush.
 The delegates chosen are the very first that will sit in the presidential convention in Chicago in June, and they show that ali conventions cannot be stampeded and that the steam rol- fer is still efficient and active.
 The battle in the Fourth congress sional district of Oklahoma is pretty good evidence that William Howard Taft is in the race to win and that he will stay in it, to use his own words, while he is alive and kicking.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
"A DELIGHTFUL EXCEPTION"

From the Louisville Courier-Journal A YOUNG Pittsburg millionaire has "A just bestowed his heart, his hand and his millions upon a New York girl whose chief charm, in his eyes, is that she neither smokes nor drinks.
 What a delightful exception" MT Henry Phipps Hoffstot Is quoted as hay ing said when he was told that Miss Marguerite Martin always said NO" to cigarettes and cocktails and went home strictly sober from every social "func- tion" she attended. What a charming exception" And MT. Henry Phipps Hoff- stot fell in love at once and became en- gagged within three days. The marriage took place in New York the other day and the Henry Phpps Hoffstots are now en route to Egypt, where the bride will spend a drinkless and cigaretteless hon eymoon, which other young women of the brides set would probably regard as about as dull and dry as the mummies of the Pharoahs in the Egyptian mu- scum.
 ! According to reports in the New York papers AIr. Hoffstot Sr., had his pri- vate car hitched to a lightning express ard tore into New York at the rate of GO or 70 miles an hour to express to the
 Martin family the boundless joy the match gave him. Dr. Martin, father of the delightful exception" is reported as
 having been somewhat overwhelmed when Hoffstot pere catapulted from the private car into the Martin. home and ex- pressed himself so enthusiastically
 "Why, my dear Doctor" Mr. Hoffstot is reported as saying in answer to the modest words of the head of the family about to become connected by "ties of marriage" with Pittsburg millions. Why. my dear doctor, if you only knew how
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
In the Church Calendar

In the church calendar today Is ob- served as the Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul. the apostle.
 Friday of next week is Candlemas- the day when candles are blessed and distributed to the faithful. It will be known also as ground hog day, all though this fact has no connection with religion.
 Thursday, February 20 Is observed as Mardi Gras fin New Orleans and Mobile and few other southern cities. February 21 will be Ash Wednesday. Easter falls on April '.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
\ I.aundrxman,s View

Chop Soup Suey's open letter to the city commissioners reached The Age Herald too late to appear under the general head in Wednesdays issue. It reads thus;
 Me don't laka de hold up gamee. Me reed de papers an see de commishas and Mir Bodakeh say no cally gun. Me meet tufer de mueks and hold ups evey night, but me never see police. Me Brudder Yokama say you got no po- lices and me cousin, Noodle. say de commishas tied cans to 'em all. Me movee me laudry to Birmingham to help de town, but if me see no police me movee me laundry back to Pratt City,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
MADRIGAL
'y Robert Louis Stevenson.

By Robert Louis Stevenson. Plain as glister planets shine
 When winds have cleaned the skies, Her love appeared, appealed for mine And wantoned in her eyes,. Clear as the shining tapers burned
 On Cytherea's shrine, Those brimming, lustrous beauties turne And called and conquered mine. The beacon lamp that-Hero lit
 No fairer shone on sea, No plainlier summoned will and wit
 Than hers encouraged me. I thrilled to feel her influence near,
 I struck my flag at sight, Her starry silence smote my ear
 Like sudden drums at night Here. lady, To. that servant stands
 You picked from passing men, And should you need nor heart nor hant He bows and goes again.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
Cotton From Poor Soil

In Ozark lives banker whose name
 $ w. L. Casey. He is banker and ne is also at times a farmer. His speciality is the selection of the poor est sandy soil he can find in Dale .ounty-soiI that has produced about ,ne bale to six acres-and he proceeds % grow by ample fertilization and .areful cultivation a bale to the acre.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
TRYING TO FORGET IT

From the Columbia State.
 China should cut out it's bomb ahrow- ing She should rise above the level of Spain and Russia. Birmingham Age Herald. Ever hear of Los Angeles?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

glad I am that he is not marrying som, high kicking chorus girl-weli, you'd knovv how glad I am'' 9
 And the pair of modest parents shool hands again and again. It was a. re} letter day in the calendars of both fam files. l
 While the delightful, the charu1ffr6 exception" will be commended far An Wide, and referred to as a proof that vii tue is sometimes it's own reward. inc ..< titude of the happy Pittsburg fathe throws an interesting light upon the nal contingent in the circles in which shi moves.' If the girl who doesn't drin) or smoke Is exceptional it seems that tn, young man who does not admire the ,,f, conventional type of young woman is alsI exceptional among young millionaires. E
 Great riches and resultant "smartness' socially must have disadvantages whel parents who sit at home amid their f1uI keys are victims of corroding care b6 cause of the ever present probability tf1k Dick is motoring to d minister or mafzi5 trate with Tottie Twinzletoes to end white light night in a marriage that en tails divorce and the payment of alimonJ while perhaps Dorothea, too full of cociS tails to realize the danger of overtaxinI her tobacco heart" is dancing the grizzl, bear with unreluctant feet where th world and half world meet.
 But such conditions exist in limited areas and small "sets" only. Generall, speaking. an American father of good social standing does not become demonl stratively happy because the unexpected has happened when his son becomes en gaged to suitable young woman. Ant the young American who is matrimonial, inclined does not find the anti-cocktai type of girl a startling exception.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25
MID-WINTER soLAcE.

MID-WINTER sOLACB. How sweet it is to dream of spring When days are dark and dreary, When there's no bird around to sing And all the world is weary Of frowning skies and sunless morns And icy raindrops falling On barren fields no bloom adorns, Where no glad voice is calling. How sweet 1t is to dream of spring, A pensive hour beguiling. As we to radiant visions cling When tears prevent our smiling. Who can not dream when gloom en-
 shrouds
 Shall never cease from pining. Shall never turn lifes somber clouds And see their silver lining.
 LIMITED KNOWLEDGE. "Does Biffkins know much about farm ing?"
 Not a great deal. Every time he9ees the word 'silo' in print he thinks 1t is typographical error for solo AIASi When once we pass from mortal scenes And sleep beneath the sod, If one with honor him demeans, Or leaves behind a wad, Iris sad to see-how very soon We hear his name no more, Who once thought none could fill his
 shoon When he had given OCT. NOT VERY ENCOURAGING. Pebbles says he is thinking of running for Congress- Just so." DO you think that would be advisable?'' Well, the exercise might do him good. ,
 STARTED AT THE BOTTOM. Ills rise was very rapid, as His neighbors all declare; lie once was a. chirododist, But now he's clipping hair.
 DISTANT NOW.
 He comes from good family" He seems to have come a long way. ''
 FORLORN HOPE. ITS great to leave ones footprints, friend. Upon the sands of time. But he will ne'er achieve that end Who writes this sort of rhyme,
 MAYBE. "A Missouri editor wants to know what men did with their money before they began spending 1t on motor cars"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

The sighted and the uninvited in New York will remember the Duke of Con naught's visit at any rate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

Key West still considers itself semi- tropical. and 1t Is all we have that is. If every enc goes to eating oleo 1t, too, will go up, even up to butter itself. Mr. Taft is opposed to any application of the recall to one-term Presidents.
  Purse proud millionaires now buy a whole pound of butter at a time.
 %---e.---- The spring styles in women's garments are not a bit reaetlonary.
  No Joe Cannon boom is to be launched in this progressive year.
  The Easter bonnet is said to be crack ing it's shell.
  The grade crossing takes it's tolls in hu- man lives.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

Gotham society is immensely fattered by the presence of his royal highness, King of Canada
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

Americans in Canada are marooned with nothing but Canada boom advertise ing to read.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

The Roosevelt stampede has not ye. been started. The steam roller stands in the way.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

France has a great cabinet, and the people begin to wonder how long 1t will last.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

Elgin has not been annexed by Chi cago. but its butter market has been ab- sorbed by the underground route
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

The United States possesses 1.750,0o0 guinea fowls, all in good voice and traia- ing
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

Mr. and Mrs. Connaught and young Miss Connaught are stirring the AGO in New York from center to circumference.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

The Emperor of China and the Presl- dent of China vii continue to quarrel until all are dead who cannot get food in that country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

J. P. Morgan's art treasures have cost him. it is said, seo. .ooO,Ooo. and New York is expecting 10 become an art center Of the world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

Even eX-Governor Folk and Speaker Champ Clark are to become good natured opponents and friends. This is year for democratic harmony everywhere.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

The dissolution of trust without land ing the men who formed it in the peni- tentiary accomplishes nothing for the public good.s
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-01-25

This big republic should lend republican, China a helping hand. The attention of Secretary Knox is respectfully called to this matter.