Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1912-08-15
WONDERFUL DREAM.

days he made a shutter for one Of
,the doors of this barn and decided
he would keep the door shut with
a button. So he made button
and put il on the shutter instead
Of the facing and pushed the door
until it was shut, then turned the
button and to his great surprise
the door came open. He said
"by-the-bye. what is the matter
with this door anyway" He look
ed at il and put all his thinking
facilities TO work to know the rea-
son the button would not hold the
door shut. He actually could not
tell the reason why it would not
work, so he dropped his work
long enough to go after DR.. Tom
Barry and ID. Patton and got
them to tell him how fix it so it
would work. So they came and
looked at it and .old him 10 take
the button off of the shutter and
put it on the door facing which he
did and then pushed the door shut
and turned the button and it held
the door shut all right. Howell
said "by-the-bye if that don't
beat the Jews"
We understand that there are a
few people that have been charg-
ing one Of the most prominent at
torneys OF our town with writing
these Wonderful Dreams" We
hope the people have more re-
spect for the ability of our law
yers than charge them with such
al atroci1us crime as writing
such stuff" | am the guilty
wretch" and | do not implicate
anyone that has any ability at all !
will say by the way of parenthe-
sir, that any man that would
charge lawyer with writing such
stuff as thess dreams contain
hat his estimation of lawyer
must he very, very low. And |
really think he deserves the heart
felt pity of all intelligent people.
We hope there are very few peo-
pie OF this kind in this county
anyway. Now this is written
merely to correct an erroneous re
port that is being circulated on
our lawyers. II | had any ill
feeling toward any one Of our law
yers, would accuse him of writ
ing these Wonderful Dreams g"
But | am glad to say that they
are all my friends and cannot
pass such 4 report on my friends
unnoticed.
Any man that would charge
such STUFF as these dreams
being written by a first-class law
yer, (our town has no other kind
must be in a condition in which
the nerve and brain cells are in a
state of pathological fatigue and
unable for any length of time to
perform their functions with any
degree of unison and harmony.
We know that in the physiologi-
cal fatigue OF the brain and spinal
nerve cells there is a shrinkage of
the protoplasm and a contrac-
ton of the nucleus and il that
degree OF fatigue be great the
after even some times lose their
shape entirely and become irregu
lar in form. Now under these
circumstances and these clone.
would a man accuse a first class
lawyer of writing these wonder
full Dreams. Now | want it dis
tinctly understood that am no,
making apologies for the lawyers
to the intelligent people for they
know better.
You just let an intelligent per-
son read two or three sentences
of these dreams" and he knows
at ouce that it is written by an
ignoramus. l want ii distinctly
understood now that | do not pos
sess the bravery of Coriolamus,
nor the beauty of Alcibiades, moi
the wisdom of Pericles. Neither
have | the lashing sarcasm OF
Danton, TOR the sardenic sheer OF
Swift nor the contentious senten-
ces OF Mirabeau, but as Mark
Anthony said in his famous fun.
eral GRAFTON over the dead body
of Caesar: 81 am a plain, blunt
man and speak right on and tell
YOU that which You yourselves dc
know. | have neither wit moi
wor Is, nor worth, action nor ut
terance nor the power of speech
to stir mems blood like a lawyer. y
merely mentioned this matter tc
one of our most prominent law
yers the other day and told him
that it is being circulated over
the county that one of our law.
/. yers is charged with the atrociou:
crime of writing these wonder
, full Dream" | saw his countencs
fall, he threw his eyes out of the
window and gazed into nothing.
ness for some time. His face was
! expressionless, only now and Their
you could see signs of nauseatiou
about his brain and stomach both,
II you could have seen how hu-
inflated, how mortified, how dis
couraged, how broken up he look
ed at the heinous1 charge, you
certainly would never make this
charge again. He looked jus,
like a "motherless calf at a
round up. He looked like he had
lost all his law practice and INTEL
ligent friends. If you could only
J have seen how he looked it would
have called for your deepest,
warmest and tenderest sympathy
il would have dronpad otonas -,