davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11
KANSAS CoMMENT
cHAMP CLARK.s BOOTS.

Some opponents of Champ Clark ara
trying to make capital of the fact that
Champ Clark went to bed with his
boots on in hotel in Florence, Kan,
some years ago. 1t won't do. An at
tempt of this sort will react. If it is
move by the Woodrow Wilson bunch
it should fall of it's own weight. In
the first place man has a right to
go to bed with his boots ON. Clark had
hired the bed for the night 1t isn't
as if he had gone to some other per-
sens bed and had worn his boots. He
was in his right. In addition to this it
is quite the style in Pike county, Mis-
souri,, for statesmen to go to bed in
their boots and a move on the part of
the highbrows, as represented by
Schoolmaster Wilson, to poke fun, VIII
come back like a boomerang Once
tackle the old styles of the Missourfans
and the entire state is up in arms, and
should be. Once start the story of the
boots on in bed after the houn' dawg
and the warmest posses that were ever
II pursuit couldn't catch up with the
vote-making possibilities of the new
slogans Clark would have coined It
is all foolishness to jump onto the hob
EieS of a statesman from Missouri for
that is the state where hobbies are
Matched. The plan to put Champ Clark
cut of the running because he wore his
boots, CHS own boots, you understand
in his bed, (his own bed, you know in
a Kansas hotel during a chautauqua
tour, will react on the perpetrator. A
man must have some sort of amuse-
ment on a chautaqua tour.-Hutch-
inson News.
WHERE IGNORANCE Is BLISS.
A good baseball story is always read
able but many a story that deals with
the national game is marred by the ig-
norance of the sport exhibited by the
writer. Heffernan is the name of an
alleged artist in short story writing
who contributes a baseball sketch TO
the June number of McClures Maya
zine. 1t is mascot story and the
hero is small terror that abandons
the joys of rat catching to give luck
to team, presumably the New York
Giants, of the National League In
this one short story, Mr. Heffernan
commits three serious solecisms that
condemn him as an ignoramus in base
ball. He deliberately calls the Chicago
team, the Reds Every fan who
knows even the primer of baseball
knows that the Cincinnati team has
been the Reds" ever since the Ma
team has failed to win the pennant
as many years as it has played ball
but it has never forfeited its right 10
be known as the Cincinnati Reds. To
make matters worse, the writer has
the visiting team go to bat in the last
half of the ninth inning in a game
tf at was to dscide the championship
of the league. Now every man who
knows a base hit from a passed bail
knows that it is the home team that
goes to bat in the last half of the
ninth inning in about nine hundred and
n1nety-nine games out of a thousand.
The third blunder of this ambitious
writer who must have learned baseball
in young ladies' seminary is that the
Hlsltlng team appeared on the field
some people is simply discouragingly
awful.-Salina Union.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11
DAFFYDXS
BY U. NoALL.

If music is study is Mozart?
(Turn off that pianola and let a man
sleep.)
If an earthquake shook the candy
off the counter in the store would the
gumdrop?
(Histl I hear footsteps approaching
on horseback
Can a steamers speed be increased
by bringing her to the dock and max
ing her fast?
(And the choir will now sing: Take
This Chair Old Lady.")
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11


The former suitor'' is always sus-
pected in a murder case, although the
chances are the former sutton spends
most of Ills time congratulating him
self over his escape, rather than plot
ting violent vengeance.
Mothers have such logical ideas
about the raising of other peoples
children, it might be a good idea for
all mothers to swap kids.
It requires some effort to appreci-
ate all the good things man has
done when you are one of them.
The only time some people ever
make a special effort is when the eff
fort is wasted. They are like the
woman who turned on the full n.y.
drant force in a wild effort to get the
lawn watered before the impending
rain storm could drive. her off the
job.
TRULY, THE DAFFYDIL IS LIT
TIE SHORT OF A CRIME.
If Roosevelt is on the Salt River
packets passenger list is Dixon?
(Toot-too. Cast off that bow line.
you blinkety-blankety blinkD
Every man, it's said, has his price,
but it should be added Cuisines of
adding it, that DANCED few of them
are worth it.
Procrastinatien loses many soft
job. Black cat came to this office
yesterday and applied for job on our
mouse farm. Job is being held down
by This and That, early applicants.
Man, says the better seven-e ighths,
is just one blamed paradox after an
other. If the coffee is cold, it makes
him hot.
Now that the crank dog ordinance
has been kicked in the Stats, the field
is open, to the sinp who wants to
equip the cats with red tail lights and
license numbers.
This colyum is getting so stale we
may have to print some political ad-
vertising to liven it up. That would
be a great Improvement as some of
the political advertising is funny
enough to get. three or four good
ha-ha's per line. e
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR.

LF'rom the New York Press.i
A man needs two vacations to get over
one.
Gratitude always finds place where II
can hide itself from sight.
The danger about having women vote
is they might get to understand all the
political questions men don't.
The man who had a million to spend on
his yacht could feel very bitter about the
man who had two million to spend on his
A girl will trust her love letters under
her pillow at night, but for her rings she
wants an absolutely safe place like an old
shoe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subsca Ibers of the state Journal
away from home during the summer
may have the paper mailed regularly
each day to any address at the rate Oh
ten cents q week or thirty cents a
month (by rail only Address
changed as often as desired. While
out OF town the State journal VIII be
% YOU like a daily letter from home.
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

Fond, but none the less cruel parents
in New Jersey. have named their sew
enth daughter IN compliment to the
Roosevelt family by combining the COL
onePs initials with the name of his
eldest daughter. The result is Tralice.
Children have to stand for a good deal
from their parents, especially in re-
apect to the names that are forced on
them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

Boston seems to have made a grave
mistake in asking DR.. Wiley to be its
health officer L he should accept, he
would undoubtedly issue orders forth
with fot a general cleansing of the
bean-pofs. Then the historic flavor,
that has made the baked beans of The
Hub famous the world over, would be
a thing Of the past.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

Although there will be general ap-
prevail of his criticism, it may be bare
ly possible that the Los Angeles clergy
man who scored the eastern society
women for giving < swell chicken din
ner to their pet dogs was just trifle
jealous. If clergymen have one fail
ing. it is a fondness for chicken
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

Another calamity has resulted, Incl
dent to the Italian ope> -tions in Tri-
poll. One of the war correspondents
there died recently. And by no stretch
OF the imagination can his death be
charged to over work.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

Nor is the action of prominent ma
tional bankers in refusing to answer
questions put to them ty congressional
committee investigating the money
trust" such as to inspire confidence In
their operations on the part of the gen.
eraI uIIhIfc
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

Those who think the bad feeling be-
tween the Taft and Roosevelt leaders
at Chicago may result in clashes of the
physical sort appear to have forgotten
the fact that barking dogs seldom bite.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

Kaiser wilhelm has Joined the back
to the farm movement. Or perhaps
it would be nearer right to say that he
has purchased a big farm in German
South Africa where some of his hired
help will try their luck at raising
sheep. If navies and armies could be
grown on South African soil, the
kaiser might be expected to take per-
sonaI charge of his farm.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

Small boy enthusiasts for an insane
Fourth of July probably read, with feel
ings of envy, about the explosion of
100000 pounds of powder in Austria
Hungary the other day.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

All OF the records of the wild and
woolly vest for card games assuredly
have been broken by the one in a Vir-
ginia mining town that resulted in
fight in which twenty-five men were
killed
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11
FROM OTHER PENS

MEMENTO THAT BELONGS HERE
No sooner does word of Wilbur
Wright's death go out than England
begins to look around for his first BIZ
plane, hoping to pick it up at a small
price, and deposit alongside Stephen
sons Rocket in the South Kensington
museum.
Probably there is no such thing as
the Wrights' first biplane. 1t had no
such permanent individuality as the
r1rst locomotive. We suspect that even
the first in which public flights were
made was the object of constant tink-
er1ng and alteration and that even If
IL has not long since been smashed up
II would today be scarcely recognize Bile
as the original air machine.
But II this aeroplane does still exist.
and II by chance 1T is in America, 1t
should stay here in the Smithsonian
institution. If it is in Europe II shoIIId
De brought home. Presumably the title
to 1t rests in Orville Wright He could
scarcely provide better for the honor
ing OF his brother than by dedfcat irp,
IT to the country. But If has passed
into the hands of others. there are
FUNDS with which to buy It,
Nor need there be haggling over the
price. If England wants an early model
OF the Wright biplane. very well. But
II the original machine. the machine
strictly comparable to Stephenson,s
Rocket, is still intact, England shouJd
nave to pass over Columbia's dead
ocdy to get it.-Baltimore News.
FIXING THE WHITE SIAVERS -
Under the federal statute one dealer
In white slaves in New York has
peen sentenced to imprisonment for
I'VE years and another to fnprison-
ment for ten years and a fine of $40 o0o
the latter part of which penalty he will
escape by taking the poor debtor's
oath: or all crimes this is the most
repulsive, and both the states and the
1eoeral government are working up to
tie necessity of suppressing III Morc
or less vice will always exist, but this
systematic and commercfaIized panter-
ing to the worst cancer that preys ON
the community can be DISCOURAGED ~
east and perhaps broken up. At any
aee, puDnc opinion Is ready to have
every effort made-PhiladeIphia Pee
ord.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11
MAID KATHARINE.

Here in the faint. toiling fever-time,
When sun-dazed flowers sorrowfully die.
find her sister where the cool
Sweet shadows lie.
1 find her sister, when the dark night
falls,
In every meadow where the stars shine
bright,
And where the moon far scattereth
: Her spears of light.
But when the waking skies are virgin
fresh,
And thick dew wrinkles on the untrod
lawn,
I find her self. her very self
At dove-gray dawn.
g. Rostrevor Hamilton, in the Pail
Mall Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS,

The State Journal I'm a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka
The news is received in The State Jour-
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

United States Senator Fail of New
Mexico seems to have a faculty of
landing on both feet regardless of his
name. He has just obtained a re-
election to the chamber of much trou-
BILE for a full term of Fix years.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

In ali likelihood, when many of the
June brides return to earth and col
Tide with the high cost of living, they'll
MARBLE a different tune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

TWO more towns have been added to
the circuit of the new United States
baseball League. But what this league
needs more is several mines of excel
lent ball players.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

Congress is likely to consider seri-
ously tho matter of an adjournment in
the near future, regardless of any of
the nations business that might stand
in the v9y. The thermometer in Wash
ington recently registered ss.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

Doc CCok surely overlooked a bet.
Central Arabia which has been as I'M
known to the white mapmakers as the
polar regions, has just been traversed
by a Danish explorer,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

That Oregon quarryman who loaded
a big blast with a lighted cigarette in
his mouth was not only a powder
monkey by profession but also in his
actions
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11
by TIE WAY
BY HARVEY PARsONa.

Notice to Kansas politicians who
are expecting to ride in on EN-:
T. RS coat tails are growing shorter
every day.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

The former sutton" is always sus-
pected in a murder case, although the
chances are the former sutton spends
most of his time congratulating him
self over his escape, rather than plot
ting violent vengeance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

Mothers have such logical ideas
about the raising of other peoples
children, it might be a good idea for
all mothers to swap kids.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-11

It requires some effort to appreci-
ate all the good things man has
done when you are one of them.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-15

Castile) for food and depended upon
it's wool for all kinds of clothing. Be-
sides these merits, the Hama under
domestication. Is, for its size, the
cheapest possible animal to keep,
since it requires very little food. and
even less water, and can do without
either for several days at a stretch.
Little camel, the name used nearly
two hundred years back by a traveller,
one Capt. George Shelrocke, an Eng
lishman, is by far the best term for
this animal, which, is In many re-
spects SO like the true camel. In dis
position llamas, and particularly the
alpaca variety, are considered respon-
sive to kindness; at the same time, all
possess independence of character to
fine degree, which often stands them
in good stead, as when at nightfall
they slip to earth with their burden.
sure sign of their determination to
be unloaded, and a sign which no sen.
sible driver isregards, for it is soon
learned thateheither cajoling nor pun.
ishment at such times has any perma.
nent power to change the creatures
will. Neither are these animals with.
out wit, for If man persists in riding
one u len it is overtired, 1t will from
time to time deliberately turn round
and spit full In the face Of the man.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-15
Antidrudaery Club.
long.

Six women in Chicago have organ
lied a club to lessen household cares.
The club is the possessor OF an cleo
trio vacuum cleaner, one electric
washing machine, two electric irons
and fan for drying the washing.
The only dues are those required
for the upkeep Of these labor savers,
and this amount has been estimated to
be about three cents week. The mi
tiation fee consists Of the price of the
apparatus divided into six equal parts.
The members arrange their work so
that small boy may take the appara-
tus around to each in turn. They live
In one neighborhood SO the affair is
easily arranged. How practical; how
easily the idea could be explained to
take in any number of housekeepers.
What help it would be in solving the
servant problem.-American Club
Woman
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-15
BABY's ECZEMA AND B0ILs

"My son was about three weeks old
when noticed a breaking-out on his
cheeks, from which watery sub
stance oozed. A short time after, his
arms, shoulders and breast broke out
also, and in a few days became solid
scab.. I became alarmed, and called
our family physician who at once pro-
nounced the disease eczema. The lit
tie fellow was under treatment for
about three months. BY the end of
that time, he seemed no better. ] be-
came discouraged. I dropped the doc
tors treatment, and commenced the
use of Cuticura Soap and Ointment,
and in a few days noticed marked
change. The eruption on his cheeks
was almost healed, and his shoulders
arms and breast were decidedly bet
ter When he was about seven months
old, all trace of the eczema was gone.
During his teething period, his
head and face were broken out in
boils which l cured with Cuticura
Soap and Ointment. Surely he must
have been great sufferer. During
the time Of teething and from the time
dropped the doctors treatment, !
used the Cuticura Soap and Cuticura
Ointment nothing else, and when two
years old he was the picture of health
His complexion was soft and beauti-
full, and his head a mass of silky curls.
had been afraid that he would never
he we'll. and I feel that owe q great
deal to the Cuticura Remedies"
(Signed) Mrs. Mary W, Ramsey, 224
e. Jackson ST., Colorado Springs, Col,
Sept. "a, 1910. Although Cuticura
Soap and Ointment are sold by drug
gists and dealers everywhere, a SAM
pie of each, with 32-page book, will be
mailed free on application to "Cuti-
cura," Dept. L, Boston.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-15
One on the Tenor.

John Mccormack, the Irish tenor,
told the following story on himself at
a dinner of the Irish society in New
York recently:
''My wife and had been entertained
at dinner by Archbishop Ireland of St.
Paul. said Mr.. Mccormack. after
the dinner my wife and / both sang
for the prelate, and when Mrs. Nc
Cormack had finished the archbishop
turned to me and said: You should
be very proud of such a talented wife.
"Indeed I am / replied with en-
thusiasm.
"sThis is the first time he ever
made such confession said my wife,
looking at the archbishop with twin
kle in her eye.
g He couldn't make a confession in
d better place, remarked one of the
guests, indicating the archbishop.
"'True,' smiled the prelate, but
cannot forgive him. because he isn't
worry for it.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-15
judge Sentenced poq to Death.

sit is almost as hard for me to SEN
tence that dog to death as it is to sen
tence fellow-being to serve punish
ment, but must do It," said Judge
Frick in police court to John Brennan
who owned fine black and white dog
says the Cincinnati Times-Star.
The dog followed woman to a
butcher shop. It supposed she had
some meat in her hand and leaped on
her, his fangs tearing the skin OF hei
arm. The woman had Brennan ar
rested and Judge Fricke had the dog
brought to court. There the canine
made friends Of everyone. But he
had gone beyond the bounds OF dog
law. Brennan's eyes g1istened as he
walked from the courtroom. How am
/ going to tell the children that the
dog is dead?" he asked.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-15
.l t5s!3sJ 3ss .E5 .Ss
SinanIest WAY of ALI.

The following story the Saturday
Evening Post. says is told of Col
George w. Goethals, who at the time
it took place was an instructor in en-
cheering at West Point
One day, in recitation, he gave out
this question to a class Of cadets.
The post fagpole, sixty feet high,
has fallen down You are ordered by
your commanding officer to put it up
again You have under your command
a sergeant and ten privates of the en-
gineer corps. How would you get the
pole back into place?
Each cadet, after long consideration
and much figuring over the derricks,
blocks, tackle and SO on, evolved a
different method.
No" said Goethals, you are all
wrong. You would simply say: Ser.
geant, put up that fagpole!'"
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-15
DOCTORS ADVISED
THE HOSPITAL
Mrs. Herberger, Who Would Not
Consent to Go There, Finally
Relieved AT Home.

st. Louis, Mo.-Mrs. Mary Herber-
ger, of this city, says: "I was sick in
bed for ten weeks, with womanly
troubles, and had four Of the best
doctors waiting on me-
Every one of them said / would
have to so to the hospital and have
an operation, but would not consent
to that.
I thought I would give Cardui a
trial. When I began to take the first
bottle, could not turn over in bed,
but had to be lifted.
Before finished the first bottle, my
pains were leaving me, slowly, and
soon I was out of bed and walking
around.
My pains have not come back,
since. I weigh $50 lbs. and feel fine.
Cardui saved me from an operation.
I am going to keep it in the house,
for would not be without it.
Cardui's Strengthening effects quick
ly show themselves in many different
ways. This is because the ingredi-
ents, from which it is made, go to
the source of the trouble, and by act
ing specifically on the cause, relieve
or cure and help bring back health
and strength.
In the past so years, more than a
million women have been benefited
by Cardui. Just try it.
N. B.-Write to: Ladies' Advisory
Dept, Chattanooga Medicine Co., Chat
tanooga, Tenn, for Special Instruc-
tions, and 64-page book, @Home Treat
meat for Women" sent i'm plain wrap
per, ON request.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-15
One Worm After Another,

A state superintendent of schools
was recently examining a class of
girls In natural history. TELL me the
names Of animals you know" he be-
Gan; but the faces of the children ex-
pressed bewilderment at the request.
At length, however, a little girl at the
pack Of the class shot up her hand as
1hough bright idea had suddenly
struck her. "Ah," said the questioner,
ne smallest girl in the class knows.
well, my dear, what is it?" "a worm"
came the triumphant answer. well
Eyes worm is really an animal,
Dat can no enc think of any other?"
Again profound silence reigned. eff /
were one of you big girls" the super
1ntendent remarked after a pause. on
seeing the same hand held up. '1
should be ashamed of myself" Then,
turning to the little scholar, as last
resort: well, what is it this time,
ny girl?" Another worm, Mister +"
was the quick response.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-15
Oil on Troubled Matters

fourlng Oil on the troubled waters"
= . quotation Is hundreds of years
Wy out 1t is only recently that it has
wen actually adopted as a means for
ssalmlng real storms on the ocean
4Mlnin the last few months many of
ssne seamen who navigate our own
:, saeae iakes have begun to carry oil
~ bags on their vessels. These hays
Ialil pe hung over the sides Of the shin
ano me Oil will be allowed to dribble
~. \, slowly and form coating over
we surface Of the water. Its effect Is
y prevent the breaking of the waves
.oaYefting the sea into long, smooth