davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1912-10-16
Bunk Snsiil tssf CyeIopedll Il
Says Wilsop Is q tfstssr ne Cafnsss Kots

ulGnbof q votea. Do you tumb3e, - u
5oke1 Haw. hAW.s The Aeia0stJon eeu3eHe
pelH iias ,of gu3 liks that. - to
NAoeDsd u up With tbrss chsaeS fof Ktd
Weody. th6 best pinch hitter VINO evee
fovlsd on ~ good ones With . ruooss
sYou don't mean to say b made thsul
his friends?' gasped ''Husky."
more than that chucklsd ''Bunh. "
they rushed home on the nsxt train
aad bsosn forming Wilson cAmpadGa
clubs By the Dozen"
.Does Wilson boost us jaclgies in that
book Of his?' asked .'Banty" Jones. z
sanner.mats with ingrowtng feet
s'tah." snapped Bunk" he did not
tt more important TO tell al those who
are dead and gone how they should have
lived"
''How does Wilson stand with the rich
guys?" wondered Sleepy"
The Wall Street coin ehasars think
he's the real goods" replied Bunk. I"
They believe in Q liberal EDUCATION for
every one who doesn't speculate. They
often stalred the professors college with
chunks Of dough when he was feeding
his students Greek roots and Latin
verbs, and It's a safe bet they are not
slishting him now. They hope. II the
professor smuggies into the White
House." added Bunk" ''that he will call
. special session Of Congress for the
purpose Of recommending that Cinnamon
b granted citizenship papers. which
would increase immigration from China
and reduce the price Of washing work
ingmen's shirts"
Where are they going to get the
That shows how little you blind cod
fish really know about prosperity"
sneered Bank" Keep your eyes on the
Cinnamon. however: they know who's
their friend and they'll show their appre-
ciation by outward signs before long.
Ching Chang Foo wilson Sing Ling
Wilson," and Wing Lung Wilson laun-
dries will be all the 90. After that we'll
have ads telling the public that We
give our shirts the Wilson shine Your
collars get the Wilson roll here We
treat your socks to the Wilson rub.' and
so on"
TT occurs to me that organized labor
has something on Wilson," butted In
Lead Pipe" Martin. . mechanic who
had been a member Of a plumbers local
before he Joined the navy.
Nothing doing, shipmate." was
''Bunk's' come back. THE professor
merely hinted in his books that there
were no labor unions in China. and he
couScyeo the impression tn1t II We ma
more Chinks and fewer labor unions in
this country we'd soon get rid Of our
most undesirable class OF citizens.
In a speech to some peevish union
men recently" concluded Bunk" a. the
bugier announced that supper was over.
''the professor suggested that he might
reduce the cost Of living by writing an
other book showing the workers how
they can increase their energy by cen
firing themselves to an exclusive diet
OF chop suey. That stunt made . big hit
with the union men. and now they are
organizing Wilson clubs, too"
The Washington herald., 1912-10-16
FiSh Bit, Fisher. Bitten.
Frpm ths New York 6sm.

Frpm ths Nev York Sun
Those who may have in mind for the
summer vacation . fishing and poker
trip to Thirty-one Nile Lake. on the
Gatineau River. may be interested to
learn that while the nsh are biting splen-
didiy. the Canadians are not. This re-
port was made at . Broadway hotel by
one Of a pair who went up there three
weeks ago with . bundle Of rods and .
poker deck.
bill would fish some" said the other
mournfully. Otherwise, might be able
to tell different tale. As the matter
stands. those Canadians took from me
just S1es Of what they call foreign
money
You may not know it. but a steamer
runs from the Fish and Game Club.
which 10 seventy-four miles from Otta-
wa, and takes you to any part Of the
lake where you fancy the fishing. We
the lake before breakfast. The boat
would start At $40 o'clock for the fish,
Ing ground. The voyage would be spent
In poker, which meant usually an hours
session.
I'VE would then nsh until IL o'clock.
hauling in any quantity Of big black
bass and then resume our game. keep
ing IL up until luncheon. Then there
would be poker until o'clock and Ash-
ing until s:so. when the boat would start
for. home. The voyage would be spent
At the game and Immediately after din
ner play would be started. 1t would last
until midnight.
Il thought the last night was there.
when I got . hand OF kings and skies.
and then drew card that made 1t
full Of kings. that I stood q pretty good
chance Of getting back some Of what I
had lost The man who stayed in with
me had four jacks In his hand. and drew
q card just to egg me on. ! had bet =
and he raised me to g. Then ! raised
him to 3. and. Of course, he cleaned me
out. would advise anybody going up
there to leave his money behind. They
.,,..lv c~. n1sv y,okar at that club."
The Washington herald., 1912-10-16
Gigantic Good Head Plan.

Gov. Wilson has declared that he Is
in favor Of Federal aid to road con-
struction. His recent address TO the
American Road Congress ii Atlantic
City left no loubt on that score. But il
lis hardly to be supposed that by Fed
|eral aid the Democratic Presidential
candidate meant that the central gov
eminent should shoulder the burden Of
the States, counties, cities, and town.
ships. -
Experts have estimated that TO- per-
feet the present road system of the
United States would mean an outlay
of one thousand million dollars and
that the maintenance of these highways
would amount TO 10 per cent Of the
original cost. But States and counties
are likely to continue building roads
even when the Federal government pays
for their use as post roads and con.
structs some interstate main lines on its
own account Otherwise the Bureau of
Roads would swamp even our Treasury.
The agitation for national road build
ing has been given new impetus by a
movement on the part of the automo-
bile manufacturers and allied CONNER
eial interests in favor of the construc-
ton of stone road from coast to
coast. All those interested ask of the
Federal government is the service Of
its engineers in the inspection of ma
terial and perhaps in an advisory ca
pacity. They propose to raise money by
subscription for buying the crushed
stone and other material and trans
porting it to the locations where it is
to be used. The estimated cost of this
new movement-it is but few weeks
old-is $Io,oooooo. of which 100000
already has been raised.
The coast-to-coast rock highway
committee, whose headquarters have
been opened at Indianapolis, does not
propose to even seek the aid of the
States. After tentatively routing the
proposed highway it intends to deal d.
rectly with the county authorities, and
it is expected that the competition
among the latter to get their roads en-
bodied in the route will be lively
enough to insure cooperation.
The Washington herald., 1912-10-16
~ folG 6Ilsx1guxns

r sss.".rssnassSa -nua,f snith. the
ssaontser eyesops11a ~ ~ Uh,tet
otatea .sEmaaoas~ ~ ~ essnAa -
ard cabhaGs h6Gan - t1fksyslTet tn
3on9. meas tahls On - gun dsck; II sess'
~ rspsatsl tna lupd teuA 'that this ~,
lov ToWboat' Wllson hAs them ail
skiansd n ths PrSeiasatial ehashpsonshiy
sseass HES salrsaay Abost Two hiIliou
laundry tickets In ~ led. aecorain. b
ths latest returns from the straw vote
and hs's making gains every day"
'WhAt's he tryin' 10 DO, heeak into the
laundry game. or = he savin' up cou.
pons to get pair 81 roller slkates for Z
moequito?" tntsrSdpted "Husl<y'' lfcGin;
nia. the giant Of the crew.
Neither: he's making Z play for the
Chinese vote IN order to land the BID
Job" smiled Bunk"
What. does he want to work., de-
manded Sleepy" the fastest able bodied
seaman aboard the cruiser. In astonish.
ment. 80
mix; he wants to reform the country 9
replied Bunk" :
.How's he goin' to do II: make us al
eat With chopsticks?' joshed ''Husiy."
by translating< the Constitution into
sanskrit. writing the laws in ALGEBRA,
SAs0 sc@Shhu6 Sutu0B0 an tu0 PoOalS
schools. I guess" was ''Bunk's' re-
sponse. ''rhe profestor 10 truly great
man." continued Bunk" He can give
you complete list OF the mistakes the
people have made since Adam lost his
false teeth In the sour apple. The rem
edy for all evils. the professor has inti-
mated. 10 q sixteen-hour work-day and q
college education In our spare time"
why 10 he stuck on the Chinks?''
drawled Sleepy"
"Oh. he has studied their coolie system
observations in book he calls "A His
tory of the American People," Bunk
went on. He tips US OF that the China
men have 1t on US for long hours and
hard labor. The professor also hands out
the dope that our workingmen spend too
much time seeking soft snaps and higher
wages"
that. are they?" growled Husky
Some Of the touchy ones thought they
had a belch coming" returned Bunk. y
and bunch OF them called on the pro-
fessor and asked him to explain some
passages in the book. Wilson met them
At the gate. giad-mitted them. slapped
them on the wrists. and said. Why. dear
old chappies. how the New Jersey are
you? It's almost cool enough for a cane.
isn't It? Get wise. boys. that I'm not
strong on that dignity stun. Call me
"Woody" or kid" 90 a. far AZ you like.
Now. as for that dope l turned out about
you In my Justly celebrated contribution
to modern literature. why. simply slam
In one in the Stats and forget IT, When
I wrote that bull wasn't in politics; do
you get me? Now. that I'm a hustling
candidate for the most exalted ONCE
within the gift Of the noble American
sovereigns. things have changed. Hence
forth you must view my remarks in the
light which will give me the greatest
The Washington herald., 1912-10-16
Crops and Gold Importations.

There has beeG considerable. in.
crease in notes issued to national banks
in the West in the last two months, due
to the larger demand for currency incl
dental to erop-moving requirements
To secure these notes an equivalen,
amount of capital has to be locked up
in government bonds deposited with the
United States Treasurer. At the same
time preparations are being made BY
the Treasury Department to facilitate
the importation of gold, as was done
IN 1905, in order to relieve the tension
in the money market due to the with
drawal of currency from the East to
help the crop moving in the West,
This is regarded as sort of emer-
gency measure. The method of 1oo6
was to make deposits of cash taken from
the Treasury Con security of bonds
available for savings bank securitv)
with banks which engage an equivalent
amount of gold from abroad, to be
repaid on the arrival of the gold. The
purpose was to. relieve the banks en-
gaging the gold from loss owing to the
time necessary to render the new sup
ply available. The gold was needed
because the bank currency of the coun-
try would not expand to meet the re-
quirements of a short period of
increased demand, which is liable to
come in the autumn of any good crop
year. This is another illustration of
the defect in our currency system. 1t
involves certain cost in doing the
business of the country which would
be unnecessary with a sound system,
and has its effect upon the ultimate
consumer" who cannot pass it along
to anybody else.
This is in striking contrast with the
annual experience of Canada, which
has a bank note system, under which
circulation automatically expands to
meet the erop-moving requirement and
contracts when that is over, without
affecting the gold movement. This Is
because the notes rest upon the credit
of the banks, secured by their own
assets, and not upon the credit of the
government represented by its bonds,
which they have to take up in order to
reduce them.
The Washington herald., 1912-10-16
A True Peace Guarantee.

President Taft. aboard the yach,
Mayfower, as he passed between the
twin lines of naval craft on the Hud-
son River reviewing the highest de-
yelopment of warship building, and
beholding the most powerful American
armada ever assembled, was looking
upon our most potent guarantee OF
peace. The war vessels, arrayed in q
line Of fifteen miles along the Hudson,
1z7 in all, symbolized as much this
country's industrial and commercial
status among the peoples of the earth
as they do the power of the United
States to prevent foreign aggressions
and to redress wrongs perpetrated.
Our naval force is. competent to de-
fend our land and flag and to uphold
the traditions of its glorious past.
From the time, I,o years ago. when
John Paul Jones convinced the world
that thirteen colonies in America had
navy superior IN effectiveness, II in
ferior IN size, to that Of Great Britain,
Americans have been proud Of their
prowess at sea. In the war of I8I7 the
most brilliant series of victories reach
ed q climax in Perry,s triumph on
Lake Eric. From the time of Barry,
On the Delaware, to that Of Dewey at
Manila and Sehlcy At Santiago. the
American navy has proved itself second
to none in those Qualities which triumph
over quantity.
Oas modern navy dates back sbout
> quarter Of century. To William
T. Chandler ssd Hilary A Herbert,
.ss Secretaries ef the NavE mus g
given cped4 Spr fehiing u 6sst stevD
4 : gssslezt - @ ! ! - J! e &
The Washington herald., 1912-10-16

Of unsound mind. The woman will Be
sent to the Warren State Hospital for
the Insane At Staunton. The commits
sion was composed of Justice Harris
White and Drs. Warfield and Delaney.
+. II. Kemper has sold to Charles H.
Zimmerman two building lots in George
Washington Park. The Washington Mon
ument Association has sold to Robert Ei-
lott three building lots in the George
Washington Park.
plea Of guilty to petit larceny was en-
tered by John r. Peveriii in the Corpora
tion Court to-day, who was indicted for
grand larceny. and he was sentenced to
serve six months in jail.
A final decree for divorce on statutory
grounds was given in the Corporation
Court to-day in the case Of Elizabeth T.
Henderson against Dexter r. Henderson.
business meeting OF the Retail Mer-
chants Association was held tonight in
the rooms OF the Chamber Of Commerce.
Following the meeting refreshments were
served.
The Alexandria German Club will hold
a meeting tomorrow night at the rooms
Of the Chamber Of Commerce, at which
time officers will be elected and plans
made for a series of germans during the
season.
The Washington herald., 1912-10-16
The Attempt on l[r. Roosevelt

4 Public men in all countries are At
the mercy of any lunatic with homi-
cidai mania, but pre-eminently so in
countries where the press, during cam
paign times especially, INCREASINGLY
makes inaammatory attacks upon the
leader of the opposition. No people
upon earth reads the newspapers more
thoroughly than Americans. and the in
cvitable result is that he who is easily
led by stronger mind or plausible ex-
planation in his favorite paper i'm
bibes doctrines which not infrequently
leads to excesses or worse; or, if of a
brooding disposition to an unbalanced
mind.
What happened to Mr.. Roosevelt at
Milwaukee therefore is possible to
Mr. Taft or. Mr.. Wilson. or any
political leader or candidate, if yellow
journalism does not finally stop some
where The government seems power
less to protect public men and society
looks on with shrug of the shoulder
and turns to the next sensation. The
would-be murderer shot to kill. and
it was by the merest accident that Mr..
Roosevelt is not dead. That he is alive
is due to the manuscript of his speech,
written on stout paper, which he car
ried in his coat pocket and which de-
Aected the bullet,
There is not any one-even among
his detraetors--who can doubt Mr..
.Roosevelt's remarkable courage His
demeanor after being shot, his determi-
nation to make his address, as planned.
with bullet in his side; his u0linch-
ing delivery. and his pathetic attempt
to hide the bullet hole in the manu-
script from which he read in order to
not needlessly worry his mammoth
audience, are ample proof of his iron
nerve and undaunted will
True. his detractors will cry bra
vado." Well, be it SO. But let US see
whether they would possess and show
a similar ''bravado" under such con-
ditions As man Mr.. Roosevelt must
be admired. His qualities, mental and
physical, are brilliant. And the more
his detractors will assail or belittle him
with yitriolic language, the more votes
they will be making for him. The his
tory of Christ himself has taught the
world the great lesson that an attack
is boost" Unfortunately mankind is
little inclined to profit by it.
That Mr.. Roosevelt himself has COM
mitted the same error serves as no
excuse for sensible men to retaliate in
kind. Had his rivals and party oppo-
nents ignored his vituperative on
slaught, had the partisan press not been
quite so yellow and vindictive, had all
combined to give the man his dues for
at least some good qualities while op-
posing his politics they would have
killed his prospects with kindness,
whereas they have made hero of him,
and now a martyr to the cause"
The Washington herald., 1912-10-16

he 10 Q rank outsider In the forthcoming
race TO the Elysee. may have been
sWayed by the same motive. There were
huns and haws when Nine. Poincars
Was mentioned n 4 substitute for Nine.
Fallieres. who could not 60 out Of her
way to meet any lesser parsonage than
q soveretgn's consort. II was finally set
tied. Of course. with the concurrence Of
the Russian government. that nobody
should meet the grand duchess. She
alighted not on the odicial platform. but
on the other side, passing, with her own
household. on = planked and carpeted
footway Through 4 tropical grove to .
grand duke Joined her there. He almost
immediately drove away with the Pre-
mier, the grand duchess and her suite
following In covered motors.
All four Montenegrin princesses. includ-
ing the Queen OF Italy, are splendid
women. and would be appreciated at q
eugenic congress. But they bear the
traces OF the ancestral struggle that went
on for centuries for Independence. and in
which nearly every woman Joined One
Is not to look in any Of them for those
soft and subtle charms that 20 % veil
with French toilette designed and made
by true artists who prize harmony be-
tween the dress and wearer above every
thing else.
None Of them is or can be fashion
able as the term ID usually understood:
and none Of them gives much heed to
What she wears. or doubts Of her power
TO command admiration in the plainest
clothes. provided they ft well and are
in some degree appropriate to her station.
They scorn to compete with the ..pstiess
mattresses" who bring such pGlss of
money to the great dressmskine estsb-
l:shments in the Rue dc h Paix. The
grand duchess looked like any other
lady in comfortable tailor-made dress
ct some sort Of grayish cloth, but one
saw in her a parsonage"
In Russia one travels drst-class in cars
tnat at nrst sight agreeably surprises the
western European BY their roominess.
ter. handsome furniture. and a comfort
that borders on luxury. The hotel car
provided for the Cars military repre-
up might have satisfied an American
railway king. But the refinement Of the
upholstery, and the knickknacks, and the
many marks Of comfort were French.
The rooms Of the grand duke and grand
duchess extended over four, wagous-two
for each. with a dining wagon between
each pair, with accommodation for twen-
ty diners. The small paintings that hung
at room-ends came from the French for
e:en and war ministries. Those in the
salon OF the grand duchess were in a
tender yet gay tone. Framed water color
sketches OF Napoleon's Austrian and Ger
man battles adorned Q working room of
the grand duke. They were done by q
young painter whom Napoleon took to
two of his campaigns. and were discovered
on the top Of a wardrobe In the war
ministry under a coat Of dust. A study
by Meissonier, representing Ney and
other generals Of Napoleon. had its place
among these sketches Il was meant for
q group in his painting. '.1Ma"
HAEEUR.
Copyright. lsi2. b. Cont 0osip syndie.se)
The Washington herald., 1912-10-16
Practical Politics.
v0TEIEss WASHINGTON.
Capital City Of Repablie N Ane-
naly In Democracy.

na1y In Democracy.
From the Boston Transcript.
Washington. d. c.. 10 struggling fol
political emancipation. Washington hal
no vote and wants one. Accordingly
washington Ii planning to hold an imita'
ton election on November 5 next. and
to cast ballots for the various Presiden.
tial candidates. 10 as to show the coun
mark the slips correctly and drop them
without stufIins into the boxes.
Washington has long been an anomaly
in this democracy. Living At the seal
Of representative government. the citi.
xens OF Washington are without repre-.
sentation. They cannot vote for the
President who occupies fine white house
in the middle Of their town, nor car
they choose their Commissioners. or any
Of the administrative officers In power
in the District Building. Much wonder.
ment has this state Of aff8irs caused In
the minds Of visiting Englishmen, who
remember that the origin Of the un.
pleasantness in the eighteenth century
between the two Engiish-speaking coun.
tries was the question Of taxation with
out representation. But at last Washing
ton Is waking up. and she is shouting
injustice Justify. She bases her argu-
ments on both the taxes extorted from
her and the principle on which the thing
Is done.
One thing which has brought the agita-
tion for suffrage and representation to q
head in Washington ID the conduct of the
Democratic House. In the last sundry
civil bill. for example. the House took
three-Quarters Of q million dollars from
the tax payers OF the District and hand
ed the sum over to the general govern
ment. Asked what documentary proof
Of the validity Of the claim was in exis-
tence. Representatives Fitzgerald. Of the
Appropriations Committee. and johnson.
Of the District Committee. made out such
q shadowy case that Representative
Mann. the Republican leader, broke forth
with: Il wouldn't hang q dog on such
evidence as you have here, much less
take nearly $4,000 from the pockets of
the District Of Columbian
This is not the place to recite the in
tricate financial history Of the relations
between the United States and the Dis
trict Of Columbia. It 10 enough to state
that there exists . twilight zone where
real estate speculators, Congressmen in
clined to line their own pockets. together
with well-intentipned but not weil-in-
formed individuals, can stumble about
in the greatest confusion. The newly
formed suffrage league wants to end all
this by adopting the simple. American.
and wholly constitutional scheme Of let
ting the people Of the city have = say in
their own affairs. Such. In brief. 10 the
explanation OF the phenomenon to be
observed on the bulletin boards on the
night Of November 5. when. for the first
time In nearly half century, Washing
ton. d. c., win be recorded as among
thosA voting
The Washington herald., 1912-10-16
both Legs Mashed. 1.

Charles knight. thirty-five years old,
while at Manassas this morning awaiting
the arrival Of a train for his home at
Winchester. Va. was struck by a Chesa-
peake and Ohio engine and had both legs
badly mashed and also sustained an ugly
scalp wound. Knight was placed aboard
a train. accompanied by DR.. Merchant,
Of Manassas. and brought to this city.
where both limbs were amputated below
the knee At the Alexandria Hospital by
Drs. Delaney and Merchant. His condi-
ton Is reported to be very critical.
1t is said that Knight has just COM
pleted q six months sentence on the
state road force for engaging In the H.
legal sale Of liquor, and was about to
return to his home, having been given
a ticket to Winchester, when he was
struck.
at a meeting held at its rooms last
night discussed the alleged unsatisfac-
tory shipment Of freight from this city
over the Bluemont division of the
washington and Old Dominion Rail-
way. and II was decided to take this
matter up with the railway oficials
through the transportation committee
Of that organization.
An invitation has been received by
the organization to attend the ninth
annual meeting Of the National Rivers
aud Harbors Congress, which will con-
vene In Washington in December.
A lunacy commission to-day adjudg-
ed Lena James. twenty years old. to be