The Cairo bulletin., 1912-02-18

the only man for the job. will
| take it,
The tuneful opera of "Robir
| Hood was the vehicle for the pre-.
sentation of number of prominent
Progressives. Most of them hat
sought the bosky shades of Sherwood
Forest for the sake of its tall tim,
Der, hence they fell easily into Rob.
] ms merry crew. There was Little
John tJim) Garfield" and "Will
Scarlet LaFollette," and "Friar Pin
cbot" and good Dame Marketing, =
besides Robin Hood; who introduc.
ing himself as an outlaw, sang: But
outlaws now, you see, are men OF
| wealth and rank and pedigree. "
There was loud blast" from a
bugle in the forest depths and it
Was announced. That's Bob I.aFol-
lette" VERY faint blast1 That's
Cummins" General mix-up of dis
cordsl Henry Watterson is in con-
ference with Woodrow wilson
Old Tune Twisted.
That tuneful air "Old Cross Bow
was given a strange twist, as fol-
lows:
"A statesman who dwelt on the Out
looks Edge,
WAS daft with his old Big Stick
A dove of peace lit on his window
ledge;
"He hit it an awful lick.
He stopped awhile, and to sigh be-
gan;
They heard him both near and
far.
eff you wait for the office to seek
the man,
THE office says, stay where you
are"
Dame Marketing declared she
had been deceived by all parties, and
expressed her indignation at the
high cost of living, to the tune of
oh. Promise Me-"
You promised me that one day /
could buy,
"A steak without a mortgage on
the farm,
You said, with Or. Wiley's help,
you'd try,
ITO shield the family stomach
from all harm,
And yet when take out my pocket
book each day,
And see how all my old mans
coin has slipped away,
Il shed another tear drop as say
you promised me; you promised
me"
Court of Honor Meets.
The court of Honor" met in open
session before the guests ito settle
all questions requiring arbitration,
sanitation and illumination" and
was ready to report Here were
some of the questions and the courts
answers:
Have you looked into this dis
pute over Universal Arbitration"
1--WE have"
Everybody favors it, SUPPOSE"
Everybody but the United States
Senate"
what is your decision in the dis
pute between Judson Harmon and
Mr.. Bryan"
"Mr. Bryan will allow Mr.. Har-
mon to remain iR the race on one
condition. 9 #sts
What is that" sa .iltG
THE condition that Mr.. Harmon
refuses to withdraw"
Underwood-Bryan Row Up.
Have you settled the row be-
tween Oscar Underwood and Mr..
Bryan"
I'VE decided Bryan was infringing
on a copyright. He had no business
to try to organize an Ananias Club"
The court also decided that the
only difference between LaFolIette
and Cummins was in the fact that
There is only one center of the
stage" The august tribunal came to
grief when asked what 1t had to say
about the rumored struggle be-
tween Taft and Roosevelt. Each
threw up his hands, and
walked out without saying anything,
md when the press agent" Can es-
sential feature of the COURT was
appealed to he exclaimed, in great
surprise. "Me? I've got nothing to |
iay | started It,"
Book Maker on Hand.
1t remained for the Democratic |
Presidential Steeplechase" skit to
'ring out the candidates in full
orce. A bookmaker appeared with
lis blackboard, sheetwriter and other
apparatus, and announced the entire
10 follovo.