davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09
WHEN MA GETS ON THE PHONE

WHEN Mn GETS ON THE PHONE.
When ma gets on the telephone.
The whole world stands dead still,
Old Father Time halts in his flight,
And doesn't start until
She's through and sometimes that's an hour,
And sometimes three or four.
The meat boy and collectors all
Pound vainly on the door;
and cen an earthquake could occur.
The world could rock and groan.
But that would never interfere
When ma gets on the phone.
Pa says it amt no use to take
The paper every night:
So far as mother is concerned.
And he is surely right.
For ma gets all the news by wire.
They've got a scheme guess
That's patterned on the plan of the
Associated Press;
The city is gone over wcll.
tnturned they leave no stone;
III bet there are some ears that burn
When ma gets on the phone.
Different, WaNs-It is moro fun to sec a man read
a puff on himself in 3 newspaper than 10 SOC a fat man
sup on a banana peel. The narrow minded man reads
II over seven or eight times. and then goes around ia
appropriate what copies he can. Tho kind hearted
man goes around to the office and pays what he owes.
The successful business man who advcrtises rey,lar1v
and makes money by it. immediately starts out 10 find
the editor and the two walk silently down the street
and the business man takes sugar in his and thay bo,h
eat a Glove or two and life is swceter and peace settlos
down on their hearts for a moment. Such is the en-
per7ence of a mustard seed that falls on different
g~round.-Gilpin Observer.
Chance for mprovcment.-Nov Wisconsin reports
d e SHht lays dufnh bell CgCS-egEs Shaned like q
auno-he'l. with tho yolk at one end and the white al
the other. 1t is rather strange that in attaining sucb
a srea' convenience. the inventnr-hc or hen-would
not nave provided some mark indicating which end
contained which. However, a brother over east saws
someho" II would seem natural to apply another form,
to the verb lay to that yarn.
ON St'tler. living down in the CITY Of hrotherlv
love Claimed he saw Hank Dornlsh kissinc Nrs
atltler. and immediately took Hank by tho COLLAR throw
MN OUT upon the street and jumped on him Mrs
stitler claims there was nothing to i,-,ha nicr %s
~ seems that Hank was rude for Bill never hur, tho
woman one bit.
!heN 90 queer things in Russia. The cars two
oaushters-ffteen and seventecn-have been made
coioheis IN the army. Their pictures i'm full dress mi.
VI arr being published in the press. Tho riaic,,o,c
appearance or one of them with her helmet down ,,,r
ohe w IKE a hoWerN girl is consistent with tho fornieh
idea OF having them connected with the arm a,,ii
poes She:-BN the way, an actress who wi, havoc
or'h pay character parts with the company. was ~.
gagged IN Chicago the other day by ". n ciIrora
Inc somewhat astounding telegram which eached MA
loca' once concerning her, read like this: .1.uro,,o
Alien. excellent actress. loves $50. Tuesday" THO .r
ror isn't hard TO locate. VI
WIDOW Aston will he allowed 5000 nnn ~,
lor pm money until she gets her share of tho for,,na
Ky skirnpinE and living like a miscr she ,, ami
duced to poverty SD suddenly.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09

They do say Teddy went right down to a phono-
graph record foundry and bought a record of that old
favorito song of his--"My Maryland." The neighbors
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09
TOO LATE TO CLASSIFY.

WANTED-Man and heavy team with
pillow and harrow. Weeks work.
Apply at Memorial park cemetery.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09
SnaCC.

The hest grade of ice cream 40c pei
quart at Burk'S. Dinnie block.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09

Widow Aston will he allowed 5000 ono ,,a
l' Fn money uhtll sh" gets her share of tho fortu,a
ny shlihpins ana living like a miscr she ,an r,,1l
'hFoush-1t is tholcht. 1t is an awful blow, -,
duced TO poverty So suddenly. "
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09

An eastern aper heads an item Drowned in
Canoe" then contradictS itself by saving that the cano,
upset throwing the boys into the water.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09
Messenger Seryit

About the E. NJ. F. ask the MAI
who runs one Dakota Auto Co.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09

4 Pittsburgh hahy--fve months old-weigls As
pounds. AT that rate she will lie A peach in a few
wears
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09
Does She?-By the WAY. an -,

Does She:-BN the way. an actress who viii, havoc
1orth play character parts with the con,nany p.s 49,.
eaeed IN Chicago the other day by w IT. ci,n,ora
me on.e"na astounding telegram which reached the
local once concerning her, read like this: .vr
Aiien' excellent actress. loves $50. Tuesday," The ~
ror isn't hard to locate. Nv ~
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09

The Watertown Daily Public opinion must like T.
sec its name i'm print. as it carries its own name in tn
datclin" instead of the name of the town.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09
Baby Daughter.

For reliable messenger service call
1927 either phone.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09

MaaprOpos"-A man used opera glasses at a cir
Gus and Phil Thomas says his act was malapropos
wherein we acquieSce that "malapropos" is good.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09

Ihe% do queer things i'm Russia. The oars ,v,
oaushters-hlfteen and seventeen-have boen made
coiohe's IN the army. Their pictures i'm full dress uni-
49, .s 'e'.S p"oilshed IN the press. The ridiculous
appearance ~ one of them with her helmet down over
n NIX a noWerN girl is consistent with the foppish
O having them connected with the arm .t,]i
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09

hNl Sfitler. living down in the CITY Of hrotherlv
love claimed he saw Hank Dornlsh kissinc Nrs
stltier. ana immediately took Hank by the collar, threw
ni!h ou' upon the street and jumped on him Mrs
ettler cialfns there was nothing to 1.-THE kissing
~ seems that Hank was rude for Bill never hurt the
woman one bit. ivy
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09

a headline announces Senate Agrees to Pension
Rill'-vhercupon an eagle-eNe of the Duluth Herald
sees the ludicrous and ventures the suggestion tina,
the senate pension Woody and Ted also.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09

Mr.. and Mrs. j. w. Jone
east of town. are mother and father respectively of
9 pound SON. born Tuesday" Rather hard on til
father.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18

handed 10 Bradncr at the proper time
 There ac. or rather there were several candidates for the chief clerk ship and other house officers but after the Lynch boom blew up no one could be found who would com init himself upon these names. Cant tell anything about it until tomor- row" they said "United?" Well we should say SO. NS an example Of united democracy fighting for the pee pull and desirable billcts we ar" tl,c great American examples
 Aud SD the legislature begins its work as a house divided against it. self. The administration is in Ibso- Iutc control of both houses and the foundations for a statewide machine are laid: foundations upon which will rise Supcrstructurc which k cN- pcctcd to pcrpctuotc the power Of the present incumhcnts.
 The gauntlet is thrown. the hat K in the ring the line is drawn. There is the administration crowd and there are the anti-administrltiuu members. War clouds hover: harmony has flown. and instead oi an orderly busiucss-likc session the present indications call for disputings. fiGhtiurs. and a constant widening of the breach between th" two factions
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
Trust Prosecutions.

It happens in these latter days that a great deal of the efficiency of pres idcntial administrations is measured by the number of trust prosecutions which such administration undertakes and carries through. And there has been much criticism of President Taft because. it is said. he has not en- forced the Sherman law as vigorously as he might. But let Us see what the record is
 From the signing of the statute to the close of Benjamin Harrisons administration there were seven pros cautions under this law.
 In the four years of President Cleveland's second term there were eight prosecutions.
 In the four and a half years when President Mckinley occupied the White House there were three prose cutions.
 In the seven and half years of Roosevclts two administrations there We're A prosecutions.
 In the three and a half years of President Tafts administration there have been = prosecutions.
 Harrison averaged about two prose cutioms a year Cleveland two, Me Kin!ev less than one. Roosevelt about six. and Taft almost IT.
 These figures. of course. will hardly appeal To the people who place a higher valuation upon the sound of their own voices than upon the oi- ficial record: but they have the merit of being true. They are taken from the records of the executive depart ment of the government.
 IL may also be mentioned as of some importance that the most i'm portant cases were begun and carried through under the present admins tration: and that this administration has record of successful prosecu- tions that is not even approached by any. of the others. Mir. Taft has s;udiously refrained from the use of brass band methods in advertising his achievements and therein he has lost much of the credit that is right fully his.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18

has been claimed bN the insistent leaders of the instIrGent movement It has always maintained that the sober sense Of the, republican party is overwhelmingly on the side of the president.
 An event of Saturday furnished a ness of that claim. On that day the republicans held their convention in the Seventh Congressional district of Indiana. As this is in q northern state. it can hardly be said to have been controlled by the office holding class" And as uhc convention was attended by I34 q delegates. chosen by the republicans of that district. il must be conceded that it was fairly representative assomblase
 Now. what did that convention do? Why. it elected delegates to the na- tionaI convention. whom il instructed to vote for Mir. Taft And it elected those Tucn and gave those instruc- tiouS hy rather decisive vote. or the I3f delegates just six voted against the president One hundred and twenty eight votes out of lG4 would seem to afford pretty comfortable majority.
 Now. in the face Of this over WhelminE indorsement. in one ot the pivotal states. what sort of excuse is insurgency to make. anyway? It would seem pretty evident that if Mr. Taft cannot carry Indiana, no rcpub- licau can And il would JIso seem 10 he d fact that in the great states of the cast and middle west the opposi- ton to th" president is about as healthy as q chicken in the last stages of cholera
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18

C A Glossncr. ci Omtari" St, Rochester. N. Y. has recovered from q long and severe attack of kidney trouble. his cure being due to Foley Kidney Pills. After detailing his case, he says: T am only sorry l did no, learn sooner of Foley Kidney Pills In q few days time my backachc com plctcly left me and l felt greatly inn proved. My kidneys became stronger, Gizzv spells left me and ! was no longcr annoyed at night. | feel loo per cent better since using Foley Kidney Pills" Elvey X Hulctt.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
BENEVOLENT

So You won't take children in your apartment house."
 Couldn't think Of il said the landlord.
 Why do you dislike chn6ren?"
 'I don't I'm so fond of them that don't want tu take chance on their being kept awake by people who play the piano till midnight"
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18

February Fourth d mob burned negro at Macon. Ga: another moo lynchcd Homer Stewart at Nidalia. Ga. two days later: ten days alter that time a negro was hanged an" shot by mob at Marshall. Texas and on February. ls one negro was shot and two others were severely wounded by a mob at ShelbyVilie' Tennessee. When We get the recall of judicial decisions each member oi those mobs will have the same voice in determining the constitutionalltH of our laws as will justice oi the sunreme court of the United States.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
READY FOR BUSINESS.

Are the pink curtains up in tn booths?"
 Yes. sir Blue ribbons on the stencils '' Yes. sir Perfume on the ballots" 'Ye,. sir Tea fixings ready to scrvcr' Yes. sir
 Then the polls are now open. - Satire
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18

Our insurGcnt friends saN George Washington declined third prcSi- dentiai term because of the abuses of the convention system. Are the insurgents aware of the fact that thc first convention for the nomination. of presidential candidate was not held until Washington had been ueau 32 years?
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
NINETEEN MILES A SECOND

without a jar. shock or disturbance, is the awful speed of our earth through space. We wonder at such ease Of natures movement. and 50 do those Who take Dr Kings New Life Pills No griping. no distress. just thorough work that brings good health and fin, feelings 2jc at all druggists
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
A DIFFICULT STANDARD

So your wifi" wants to be e sui fragctte?"
 Yes" replied Mir. Flimgilt. They have managed to get her thinking about it. But if they wan5 to keep her interested thcy'H have to do some. thing To make politics ;,s interesting as bridge wnist."-N.-. York Globe.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
SARCASM IN THE HOME

Wife-How about the tickets. dear l understand the thcater is packed at every performance
 Hub-It is. but | managed to get seats for two weeks from tonight and. by the way,
 Wifc-Well?
 Uub-Tou might began Io set read, now Boston Transcript
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
HIS CANDIDATE.

Down in Missouri q few years aG" a man who was about to declare hin- self as a candidate for judge asked a colored constituent to vote for him.
 'You'se my second choice judge. answered the colorcd man.
 Who's you're first. choice UnCl" Tum?" asked the prospective candi- date.
 Anybody who can beat you, Was the unexpected rcpIy.-Chicago Tri- bune
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
MONDAY
MARCH IS. 1912
The Legislatures Opportunity.

I iS splendid opportunity which
 lies in the hands of the first state Legislature. which meets today
 This legislature, by patriotic action,
 ths strict performance of duty. and devotion to business principles. has
 the chance tc make record that will
 he a credit to itself as we'll as of vast and enduring value to the state
 it is said occasionally that there is
 not enough business in politics. That Is favorite expression to which Governor Wilson. of New Jersey. has Frequently given voice Just what
 Mfr Wilson means no one is prepared 10 say. Certainly he is hardly qual- flied business man. People who spend the greater part of their lives within business men. II is quite probable that Mir Wilson's conception Of bus mess in politics" is included within his present program, which consists mainly in chase for popular support and the injection into his utterances Of q sufficient amount of insurgency to balance the more lcveI-headed ut tcranccs to which he was addicted before politics was presented to him in its practical aspects.
 But the motives which prompt the ideas and the practices of the oX- schoolmaster will hardly be found to obtain in the case Of the Arizona les isIators. No one Of these men is likely to be called upon To serve his country as president Very few Of them. in fact. are likely ever to go any farther than they now find them selves And if they will just look at il in that light if they will leave out the spectacular-if they will address themselves to the rather prosy but absolutely necessary features of their work. they will make the best possi
 ble record and will have the satis- faction of a work well done.
 And these essentials are extremely simple They include careful eX- pcnditurc Of money and the applica- ton to the affairs of the state of those business principles of which mention has been made And after all business principles are merely 'he principles of common sense. A successful business man spends aS much money as necessary and no more. lie uses as much time as nee cssary in the transaction nf any giyeD task and no more. H- avoids vast and extravaganza and-he cuts out the unnecessary talk.
 The legislators do not occupy q sentimental position. Nobody care particularly about their politics, now that they have been elected. But the people of Arizona do care very materially whether the legislature is l sensible or otherwise. They do care great deal about economy.
 The Republican sincerely hopes the | legislature will proceed along the lines here suggested. IL hopes the members of the first state lawmakinS ! body will make a record of which | the people of the state may heartily | approve. It is extremely earnest in its wish that the new commonwealth i be started right. It is ready to give | approval where approval is due; and | it will not hesitate to criticise | where. in it's judgment. criticism may | he necessary And that the minimum or criticism may De required, is it's l earnest hope.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18

When the city council got ready |" pass the ordinance providing Tor citv market fl was found one llttlc detail had been overlooked. The city thought the farmers were going to pav for the market and the farmers thought that little matter was |" pc attended to by the city. But what's the use of quibbling about an unim- uortant detail like that?
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18

Senator La Toilette says the people should elect to the presidency man who works and not one who merely talks. It is patent that Mir. La Foi- latto himself. is the man who works; but who's the other fellow?
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
SC|SSORED WIT
AN EARLY START, BUT

Mabel" said the girls father. T want to salk to you about that young man of yours When he Iid he say good night to you last evening""
 At 10 o'clock replied the dear E;Ii.
 'Nn,t: Why. it was 1 o'clock al least"
 'Oh. that was when he finished say ing it."-CathoIic Standard and Times.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
LIPS AND DOWN.

The public is always ready to pick up a new idea"
 Yes" replied Snator Sorghum. and the public is always ready to throw il down again as soon as it locks il over and decides il doesn't suit star.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
TAXING CHANGES

Cholly-T would like to introduce to you a friend of mine-a charming feI- low.
 His Fiance-Nery we'll. bu: you do it at your own risk.-Boston Tran script.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
TOO WILLING

Say, Frost. lcnd me your iazor. will you""
 Gladly"
 "Oh. if it's as dull as that drl'r want -HouSckccper
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
THE NATURAL CONCLUSION

When l Was d tiny boy with ring lcis," saiJ the man with little hair they used to call me Archie"
 T suppose now they call YOU ArcGl- bald. .'--CltrSti4 Register.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
-AlE WENTNER CAh.ING

"Beli",c me. S'r hlle ",e:i better days"
 So have |. but cheer up .nc bar omcter is rising -Flieeendr Blatter.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
The Real Sentiment.

The Republican has all along con tended that in the country at large there is no such opposition to the re- nomination of President Taft as
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
A GOOD GUESSER.

Voice at the other cud-llcil", ls that Madison l3Gi2
 Bridgct-Glory he. ut is How the dickens did yc guess Woman $ Home Companion
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
TIME WILL TELL

And what is your last name, 7it.ic sirl?"
 Don't know. sir. | aiu't married yct"-Bosjuu Transcript
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
IN LEAP YEAR

Maudc-l'Nc something tu fcII yo. I'm engaged tu Jack
 Ethel-i am not surprised Jd,i, never could say no.-Boston Tran script
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18

At all events. anyone who lives a ear in Reno in order to get di- corce is entitled tO some rccOmpensc
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
IHE ARIZONA REPUBLICAN

tIIl hIlIlUNh I'LL VuliVhU
 Published bv THE ARIZONA PUBLISHING co. The only Paper in Arizona Published Every Day in the Year.
 $. W HIGLEY.
 President and Manager.
 CHARLES A. STAUFFER
 Business Manager
 CIIAS. (. CUTCHSUAW
 Editor
 C $. SCOTT.
 City Editor.
 SALLY JACOBS.
 Society Editor Exclusive Morning Associated Press
 Dispatches. office. Corner sccohd and Adams s,s Entered at the pOStoffice at Phoc- nix. Arizona. as mail matter of the second class.
 Address all communications to THE ARIZONA REPUBLICAN. Phoenix, Arizona
 TEL EPHONES. Consolidated .....--.......... Main A. overland. Business office. ......... t22 overland. City Editor. or............. 4@5 SCBSCRIPTION RATES-By Mail Daily. one month. in advance. 2 .7j Daily. three months in advance. 200 Daily. six months in advance. 400 Daily. one year. in advance. ..... 500 SCndays only. by mail or carrier. 2.5o By carrier. daily. Der month. .t5 Sample copies sent on application Republican subscribers. who do not receive their paper by eight o'clock on any morning. should notify the of I,-c by 'phone and delivery by special messenger will be ordered at once
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
TROUBLE

Nlne-tcnths of 1t can be traced to the lack of ready money.
 savings account will save you trouble and also pay interest at l&c yearly.
 The Valley Bank of Phoenix
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
OVERHEAD

"IS my hat on straiGht?' No. one eye shows Life.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18

Entered at the pOStoffice at Phoc- nix. Arizona. as mail matter of the second class
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18

office. Corner sccohd and Adams s,s
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18

Exclusive Morning Associated Press
 Dispatches.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18
STEAM ROLLER METHODS

Continued from Page Oucl
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18

Published bV THE ARIZONA PUBLISHING co.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18

The only Paper in Arizona Published
 Every Day in the Year.
Arizona republican., 1912-03-18

Address all communications to THE ARIZONA REPUBLICAN. Phoenix. AriznnI
The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1912-05-24
For Maaistrate.
The Chautauqua

The seven-days chautauqua, billed to
take place in Union City on the Jockey
lot June 1925, 1919, depends entirely
upon the sale Of season tickets. The
chautauqua carries some OF the best
attractions in America and Europe and
a number of our business men have
made it possible to secure the meeting
by guarantee. There are provisions
in this guarantee which make it posi-
BILE to cancel the engagement unless a
certain number Of season tickets are
Sold. The committees are out now en-
dcayoring to sell season tickets. These
tickets are so each, emitting the holder
to admission for the entire seven days
TO all attractions. A single ticket is
probably 30 cents, which would, II
bought that way, amount to $7 for the
entire seven days OF the great show
We are making this statement first to
show that it is important to buy
season ticket in order to secure the at
traction. Next itis altogetIier cheaper
to buy season ticket, even II used not
more than five times. The committee
selling tickets will call soon, If they
have not already done 50, and every
person in UnionACity or the surround
ing country should get season ticket
at once and make ii possible to have
the most expensive, extensive and
talented combination OF artists and
classical entertainment ever visiting a
small city. We take it that no person
posted in such matters will hesitate to
buy season ticket, and no other will
make q mistake to buy and take adj
vantage Of the opportunity to see and
hear what will be altogether liberal
education in seven days, an opportunity
that cannot be secured otherwise except
through the expense Of travel to city
and the hotel Accommodations and incl I
dcntals ofsuch a trip. Get season
ticket and help to make the chautauqua
d possibility and an event extraordinary |
in Union City.