The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-07-12
THE MASSACRE.

There is an old saying. and it is quite true. that the
eastern people know very little of the west. They
seem to think that the west begins at Buffalo. N. V.
that Indians run wild up and down the streets of Chi
cago; that the jumping off place is at the Mississippi
river. and when one speaks of North Dakota. it means
the unknown, the lands of the no-gods and the place
where men eat human flesh and DRINK h-l-u-d!
lthe latter to he said in a Very deep, biood-curdIns
tone of voice.)
f. l.. Hathaway is a Boston boy and while he is a
good Judge of baked beans. Yet he knew nothing about
real Indians 'Tis true he had read Buffalo Bill. Mic
Carter. Diamond Dick and other authorities on In
dians. bur he never had any real experience with the
redskins. Having a longing for the wild and woollS
west he secured an engagement with an engineers
crew over in Mercer county west of the Missouri. near
Stanton.
He dropped into Mandan. where he was soon spotted
as fertile soil in which the jokesters could SOW the
seeds of blood and thunder stories of the west. In a
few days he went to tanton where he Joined the engi-
neers. and it was soon found that he was a good sub
iect for ghosting, having been we'll primed at Mandan.
The boys were not slow in filling his heart with fear
of the dreaded red skins.
The first night about 10 o'clock the cook tore out
with a war-whoop. fired a few shots and other assisted
with a vengeance. In fact the demonstration was so
fierce that il almost alarmed the hoys themselves.
Young Hathaway was out Of the tent like a new mem
her on a volunteer fire department. But he didn't fail
TO gather his suitcase and hand bag. The boys finally
decided there was not much danger as it was but some
passing Indians and all retired.
No sooner had the tender foot got settled down than
the rascals we're printing another joke. one which was
to be a corker.
occupants of the office tent. They nailed a dummy to
the telephone pole back of the tents, saturated the
dummy WIN coal OH n SCI II 20 u. linen IL louT
men wrapped i'm blankets. put on a war dance around
the burning dummy. No sooner was this second stunt
started than the boys hit for the door of their tent but
Hathaway was about the first one out. He ran straight
soushteast as fast as his fleet feet would take him and
not once did he stop. except to glance at the blazing
dummy. until he reached Mr.. Rerrys residence. Here
the Young man made an urgent appeal to Mrs. Berry,
who was alone with the children. that he might be let
in for protection. She consented and he stayed on the
porch for about fifteen minutes during which time the
whole story was told her. 1t was not until a commit
tee on explanation was sent 10 Hathaway that the joke
dawned upon him. He finally returned TO camp and is
fast becoming one of the tough westerners."
Grandpa is neutrality-suspicious. Fl. Cole. of South
Plainheld. n. j.. celebrated his s9th birthday with UNI
usual glee because of his discovery that he was cutting
a new set of teeth. His friends may now expect his
glee to disappear, and to find him very cross until the
ordeal is over. The order about his home will probably
be. don't bother Grandpa. he's teething."
Josh Wise Says: TIL proprietor o tn Beeleysport
House returned from a mysterious visit to tn city with
two dozen secondhand plug hats. His motives was
revealed when he put them on tn rack at TIL dinin
room entrance to impress strangers reluctant to sign
up on the American plan
Alice thinks the summer man wouldn't be such a
scarce article if the summer girl was more true to
her magazine picture.