The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-11

He's a frind iv mine," said MT. Larkin. " But somehow or other ye nver think frind is fit to be prisidint. Tn more ye see iv man tn more ye think he ain't competint fir amy office Besides, haven't we done enough f'r him i? He's been mayor fourteen or fifteen times. What more does he want? Does he want vrything !? Don't he want to give amy other Dmmycrat chanst? Does he-'
 Well" said MT. Dooey, Larkin, me frind ye make tn heart in me glad. l was gettin world about tn Dnnmycrat party. I was afraid it was changin' its charackter. But see be tn ca'm dispass'nate way ye speak iv our most thrusted leaders that it's tn same O lend-me-a brick -Mike-here- recommendation party that I've been goin' down to gloryous defeat with nearly ivry time I've poked me nose into barber shop to vote fr these forty odd years. It's Boys reminder we're all Dimmycrats an gintemen Don't lave us fight in tn house. Lave us have it out in tn sthreet' It's Who's our strongest possible candydate? Let's all jump on him at wanst' Five months befure tn cor-vintion meets we've made all tn mateeryal about oursilves that tn Republicans need fr their campaign 'Tis not till about week befure tn iliction that tn nearest frind iv tn candydate we nonmynated can speak kind wurrud f'r-him befure tn polls without bein' arristed as an accissory.
 Bein a man iv large property. I've often thought v growth side whskers an jinin' tn Republicans. But about ilicton time l go back where belong, an I wud no think iv not bein' Dimmycrat thin l wud v not goin' to a fire Thrue it is that tn Republican party has cheered Up good deal through tn efforts iv me frind Tiddy Rosenfelt. It's longer tn sleepin' powdher wanst 1t was He's tore off most iv tn side whiskers firm tn party an smashed nanny v tn stovepipe hats. But aven noble sperrit like that can't make Dirnmycrat party out iv tn Republican party. It's dff'ren proposition. We're two diff'ren kinds iv people, Republicans have always been Republicans an Dimmycrats Dimmycrats, an they always will be- Thanks be f'r that If wasn't so far along in life I'd adopt an raise Dimmycrat candydate v me own. I wudden't lave annywan see him. I'd lock him in a back room an shove his food in through hole in tn wall I wudden't projooce him till til' con- vintion met, an thin I'd bring him out with a mask on. Whin all tn other candydates had been killed off I'd unveil him an tn la-ads wud say: There's face that has niver been seen in tn councils v tn party befure. Let's nommy- nate him An they wud.
 " It looks to me, Hinnissy, as though this was gein to be>a campaign iv idjacation, an me frind Pro-hssor Wilson is tn first scholar to step up an get tn ruddynints. A pollytickal idjacation is like tn kind I got wliin I was boy in Ireland. It begins with lickin' an ends with lickin' an there ar7re few coorses v tn same in between. Pro-fssor Wilson was prsidint iv Princeton col lege, dye mind, which is boordin' school in tn state iv Moo Jarsey where young Prisbyteryens are taught infant damnation, fut-ball, an other gintlenanly accomplishmints, as Hogan says. Tn last 1 heerd about it Andhrew Carnaygie had give 1t lake which is almost as deep as Andrew Carnagie himself an had his name painted on 1t. 4s
 " Well, wan iv tn jooties v Pro-fssor Wilson was fr to tache tn la-ads at Princeton about pollyticks He was tn pollytickal shark iv this univarsity He knew more about pollyticks thin tn pro-fssor iv botany or zoolophony or amy other mimber iv tn faculty. Ivry mornn he'd stand at tn dure iv tn schoolhouse an ring tn bell, an whin tn happy youngsters gathered he wud fletcher thin Childher.' he wud say, tn