davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18

/ laughter so merry and so loud that
Billy, turning quickly, almost fell out
of the chair.
What you dom, a-Iistening to me
talk to Marie Yarbrough th'oo the tel
ephone?" he questioned angrily.
Marie you pigs foot" was the in
elegant response. THAT was Just me
a-talking to you III the time. You all
time think you talking to little girls
and all times t amt nobody but me-"
A light dawned on the innocent one.
He promptly hung up the receiver and
| got down out of the chair. Before Jim
my was fully aware of his intention,
Billy had thrown him to the floor and
was giving him good pommeling.
Say you got 'nough?" he growled
from his position astride of the 9th
er boy.
Z got 'nough, Billy" repeated
Jimmy.
Say you sorry you done it"
q say I sorry I done it," abjectly
repeated the younger child. Get up.
Billy, fore you bust my stommick
open"
Say you amt never a-goin' to tell
nobody, cross yo' heart, was the next
! command.
7 say 1 amt never going to tell no.
body, cross my heart. Get up, Billy,
fore you makes me mad, and amt
no telling what I'll do to you if l
get mad"
Say you's low-down Jezebel
Skunk"
q amt going to say I'm nothing OF
the kind" spiritedly replied the under
dog. You all time wanting somebody
to call theirseIfs somepin. You're a
low-down Isabella skunk yourself"
You got to say it," insisted the
victor, renewing hostilities.
I'll say I'm a Isabella, cause lisa
bella discovered America, and's in
the Bible replied the tormented
one; Miss Cecilia 'spIained it to
me-"
Billy accepted his compromise and
Jimmy's fattened stomach, relieved
of its burden, puffed out to its usual
roundness as that little boy rose to his
feet, saying:
Sam Lamb would "a died a-laugh-
ing, Billy, if he'd seen you telephon-
ing"
He'd better never hear tell of it."
was the threatening rejoinder
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18

/ he say he's a plumber Hes a very
'greeable man, but don't want Aunt
( Minerva TO marry him, now. was
plump Cickied at him an l tuck him
to the bath room an fust thing
/ knowed he grabbed hotter me an
shuck me like what you see a cat
4 do a mouse. an he say
And he'd more'n a million wills
/ kers, interrupted Jimmy. who
/ thought Billy. was receiving too much
| attention, and he"
One at time" said the doctor.
/ Proceed. William"
An he say he'll bust my brains out
/ er my head if I holler, an amt a.
/ goin' TO holler neither, an he tie me
/ to a chair an tie my mouth ND an
lock the do
And I coined over" said Jimmy.
/ eagerly, and l run home and I see
I Mr. AIgernon Jones is a robber an I
! 'phoned to Miss Ninerva's beau, and if
he'd brunged what I telled him, he
wouldn't never got cracked in the face
like Mr. Algernon Jones done crack
him, and Billy got to all time let rob-
bers in the house so they can knock
mans and little boys down"
While you stand talking here the
scoundreI win get away" said the in
jured man.
That's SC" agreed DR.. Sanford,
so I'll go and find the sheriff
Sarah James huge form doomed up
in the back hall doorway, and she
grabbed Jimmy by the arm.
"Yaas. she cried, you gwine take
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18
CHAP Err XIV.
Billy. the Credulous.

After the advent and disappearance
Of the exciting Mr.. Jones, Miss Mi
nerva, much to BilIy's joy, had a tele-
phone put in the house. He sat in the
hall the day it was put in waiting for
it to ring.
Jimmy, coming up on the front
porch and through the half-open door
and seeing him sitting there, rang
the door bell just for joke,
ready to burst into a laugh when
the other little boy turned around and
saw who it was. Billy, however, in
his eagerness mistook the ring for the
telephone cell and joyfully climbed up
on the chair, which he had stationed
in readiness He took down the re-
.ceiver as he had seen Jimmy do in his
home, and, without once seeing that
little boy standing a few feet from
him, he yelled at the top of his
lungs:
Hello! Who is that?"
This is Marie Yarbrough," replied
Jimmy from the doorway, instantly
recognizing Billy's mistake.
Marie Yarbrough was a little girl
much admired by the two boys, as she
had pony and a cart of her very own.
However, she lived in a different part
Of the town and attended another Sun
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18

''Yo' unions is injured plum scan
erlous." was his discouraging decision.
and hit pears ter me dat yo' hide
done suffer. too; you's got er turrible
scratch
The child sighed. The injury to the
flesh was of small importance-he
could hide that from his aunt-but the
rent in his trousers was serious
matter.
4 wish I could get EN- mended fore
I goes home" he said wistfully.
7 tell you what do" suggested
Sam, q low Miss CeciIiau holp yeh;
/ jest go by her house an she'll darn
EN- up fer yeh.'
Billy hesitated
Well, you see, Sam, me an Miss
Cecilia's engaged an ives fxin' to
marry jes' s soon's I put on long
pants, an l shame to ask her. An
I don't believe young 'omans patches
the bTeeches of young mans what
they's gOin' to marry nohow. Do you?
Aunt Minerva ain never patched no
breeches for the major. And then"
with modest blush, my unions is
tore, too, an amt got on nothin' else
to hide my skin"
Again he turned his back to his
friend and, his clouded little face look
ing over his shoulder. he asked: DO
my meat show. Sam?"
she am visible ter the naked eye"
and Sam Lamb laughed loudly at his
own wit
I don't believe God pays me much
attention nohow," said the little boy
dolefully; 'ev'y day I gets put to bed
cause sumpin's all time a-happenin'.
II he'd had a eye on me like he ought
er they wouldn't been no snaggin'.
Aunt Minerals goin' to be mad thoo
an th'oo."
May be my OF oman can fix EN-,
SOS dey won't be so turribIe bad"
suggested the negro, faint fer, so
you jes' run down ter my cabin an tell
Sukey l say fix dem breeches."
The child needed no second bidding
he fairly few Sans wife was cook
ing, but she cheerfully stopped her
work to help the little boy. She sew
ed up the union suit and put a bright
blue patch on his brown linen
breaches.
Billy felt a little more cheerful,
though he still dreaded confessing to
his aunt, and he loitered along the
way till it was nearly dark Supper
was ready when he got home and he
walked into the dining room with his
customary ease and grace. But be took
his seat uneasily, and he was so quiet
during the meal and ate so little that
his aunt asked him if he was sick.
He was planning in his mind how to
break the news of the days disaster
to her
You are improving, William" she
remarked presently. you haven't got
into any mischief today. You have
been a mighty good little boy now for
two days"
Billy flushed at the compliment and
shifted uneasily in his seat. That
patch seemed to burn him.
IF God'd jest do his part" he said
darkly 4 wouldn't never git in no
meanness."
After supper Miss Minerva washed
the dishes in the kitchen sink and
Billy carried them back to the dining
room. His aunt caught him several
times prancing sideways in the most
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18

you a nap IS yuh. yuh 'ceitful caterpil-
lar. Come on home dis minute"
'Lemme GO, Sarah Jane" protest
ed the little boy trying 10 Jerk away
from her, I got TO stay here and
pertec' Billy and Miss Minerva's beau,
cause they'g a robber might come
back and tie EN- up and make EN-
bleed if 1 amt here"
Did Mr. Algernon Jones make all
that blood?" asked the awe-stricken
little boy gazing in admiration at the
victim of Mr.. Jones' energy. you sho'
is q hero to stan up an let him knock
you down like he done"
Yes, cried Jimmy. as the black
woman dragged him kicking and strug-
Cling through the hall. ives all he
roes, but bet I'm the heroest hero
they is, and I bet Miss Minerva's go
ing to be mad bout you all spillizg all
that blood on her nice clean floor"
''Lemme see 20 big toe what was
shot of by all them Yankees and In
juns what you killed in the war" said
Billy to Miss Minerva's beau.
The major smiled at the little boy;
a man-to-man smile, full Of good COM
radeship, humor and understanding.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18
CHAPTER XIV.-Continued.

Jimmy seeing no hope Of eluding
Sarah James vigilance. resorted to
strategy and deceit.
'Tain't no fun setting out here" he
called to her, so I'm going in the
house and take a nap"
She willingly consented. as she was
through with her ironing and thought
to snatch a few winks of sleep her
self
The little boy slipped quietly through
the house, nois aIessIy across the back
yard and into his fathers big gar
den, which was separated from that
of his neighbor Ly a high board fence.
He quickly climbed the fence, few
across Miss MineIYa's tomato patch
and tiptoed up her back steps to the
back porch, his little bare feet giving
no sign of his presence. Hearing Gu
rious noises coming from the bath
room, where Billy was humping the
chair up and down in his efforts to re-
lease his mouth, he made for that
spot, promptly unlocked the door and
walked ir Billy by scuffiing and tug
ging had freed his mouth from the
towel that bound it at that mo
meut
"Hushl" he whispered as Jimmy
opened the door, you'll get eat up
alive if you don't look out" His tone
was so mysterious and thrilling and
he looked so scared tied to the chair
that the younger boys blood almost
froze in his veins.
What you doing all tied up SOP"
he asked, in low, frightened tones.
MT. Algernon Jones done it.
spec he's a robber an is jes' a-rob-
BERN right now" answered Billy.
Til unite you" said his chum
Nav; you better not" said Billy
brayely. He might git away. You
leave me jes' like he fixed me SOS
you can try to ketch him. hear him
In the dinin' room now. You leave
me right here an step over to 20
4 house an phone to some mems to
/ come and git him quick. Shet the do
ag'in an don't make no noise. Fly,
now,"
And Jimmy did fly. He again took
/ the garden route and in minute was
at the telephone with the receiver to
/ his ear.
Hello! Is that you, Miss Central?
! This is me-" he howled into the trans
mitter Gimme Miss Minerals beau.
| don't know his number, but he's got
a office over my papa's bank"
His father being out of town, the
little boy shrewdly decided that Miss
Minerals beau was the next best man
to help capture the robber.
Miss Minerva what lives by me"
/ he shrieked.
Fortunately Central recognized his
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18

BilIy's little neart went out to him
at once.
4 can't take off my shoes at present .
said the veteran. Well, I must be go
ing; l feel all right now"
Billy looked at him with big. sol
emn eyes.
you couldn't never go 'thout yo'
pants, could your" he asked, cause
Aunt Minerva jest nachelly despises
pants"
The man eyed him quizzicany.
We'll, no; l don't think l could"
he replied: Il don't think I'd look any
better in a Mother Hubbard or a XII
mono"
The little boy sighed
Which you think is the fittenest
name" asked he, Billy or William"
Billy, Billy" enthusiastically came
the reply.
81 like MEMS" said William Green
Hill. Z sho' wisht' you could come
and live right here with me and Aunt
Minerva"
4 wish so, too" said the major
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18
Rash ALL OVER BABYS BODY
itched So He Could Not Sleep

'On July 27, 1909. we left Boston for
a trip to England and Ireland, taking
baby with US After being in Ireland
few days nasty rash came out all
over his body. We took him to a doe
tor who gave US medicine for him.
The trouble started in the form of a
rash and was all over baby's BODY
head and face. at different times. It
irritated, and he would scratch it with
all his might. The consequence was
it developed into sores, and we were
afraid it would leave nasty scars on
his face.
When we reached England we took
baby to another doctor, who said his
condition was due to change Of food
and climate, and gave more medicine.
The rash got no better, and it used to
itch and burn at night so bad that the
child could not sleep. He was com
pletely covered with it at different
times. It was at this time that my
mother advised us to try Cuticura
Soap and Ointment. After using Cuti-
cura Soap and Cuticura Ointment for
about nine months the places disap-
peared. There are not any scars, or
other kind of Disagreement, and baby
is completely cured by the Cuticura
Soap and Ointment. We have no fur
Their trouble with baby's skin. Moth
ing stopped the itching, and allowed
baby to sleep but Cuticura Soap and
Cuticura Ointment" (Signed) Mrs.
Margaret Gum, 20 Burrell St, Rox-
bury, Mass, March 70, 1911.
Although Cuticura Soap and Oipt-
ment are sold everywhere, sample
of each, with 32-page book, will be
mailed free on application to Cuti-
Cura," Dept L. Boston.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18

The child was silent for a long time.
his little mind busy. then he began:
Aunt Minerva"
She peered at him over her glasses
a second, then dropped her eyes to the
paper where an interesting article on
Foreign Missions held her attention.
Aunt Minerva, | snagged-Aunt
Minerva, l snagged my-my skin to-
day"
Let me see the place" she said. alb
sently, her eyes glued to a paragraph
describing cannibal fest
I s a-settin' on it right now" he re-
piled.
Another long silence ensued. Billy
resolved to settle the matter.
rs gettin' sleepy" he yawned.
Aunt Minerva, want to say my pray
ers and go to bed"
She laid her paper down and he
dropped to his knees by her side. He
usually sprawled all over her lap dur
ing his lengthy devotions, but tonight
he clasped his little hands and rear
ed back like a rabbit on its launches.
After he had rapidly repeated the
Lords Prayer, which he had recent
" learned, and had invoked blessings
on all his new friends md never-to-be-
forgotten cid ones, he concluded with:
AN, o Lord, you done KEEP me
fom meddlin' with Aunt Minerva s
hose any mo-, an you done KEEP me
fom gittin' any mo- Easter eggs, an
playin' any mo- Injun, an you done
KEEP me I'm lettin' Mr.. Algernon Jones
come agin, an now. o Lord, please
don't femme worry the very 'zistence
outer Aunt Minerva any mo- n you
can help, like she said l done this
mornin'. an please, if thy will be done.
don't Iemme tear the next new
breeches what she'll gimme like done
ruint these here what I got on"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18
FOR HUBBY TO PONDER OVER
innocent Answer OF Quiet Little Wife
Got Him Started on Train
Of Thought.

The husband and wife were on their
way to the theateT when the husband
began kicking because his wife took
sucn a long time dressing.
What delayed you this timer" he
growIed,
Seeing the children TO bed" she re-
sponded quietly.
What's the nuroe for?" snapped the
man
The nurse is for our convenience
yours and mine. especially mine she
answered. But the boy certainly takes
after you He asked the same kind Of
a fool question just as l was kissing
him good night"
Fool question. en-? Well, what was
it?"
81 asked him if he had said his pray
ers. And he said no And I asked
him if ne didn't want God to take care
Of him during the night He answer
ed: What's the nurse for?'"
For the remainder Of the way the
man pondered on this answer.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18

tor told me to go to a hospital. / did
not like that idea very well, so, when /
saw your advertisement in a paper, I
wrote to you for advice, and have done as
you told me. ! have taken Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and
Liver Pills, and now l have my health.
If sick and cling women would only
know enough to take your medicine, they
would get relief. ~ Mrs. BENZ. H. STAINS
Berry, Route 6, Box is, Upper Sandusky,
Ohio.
If you have mysterious pains, irregu-
Iarity, backache, extreme nervousness,
Inflammation. liberation or displace-
ment, don't wait too long, but try Lydia
E. Pinkhan's Vegetable Compound now.
For thirty years Lydia E. Pinkham' :
Vegetable Compound, made from roots
and herbs, has been the standard remedy
for female ills, and such unquestionable
testimony as the above proves the value
Of this famous remedy snd should give
every one confidence.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18
CHAPTER XVI.
The Humble Petition,


Billy, sitting in an old buggy in
front Of the livery stable, had Just
engaged in = long and interesting
conversation with Sam Lamb. He was
getting out of the vehicle when the
sharp wire around the broken rod
caught in the back of his trousers and
tore a great hole. He felt a tingling
pain and looked over his shoulder to
investigate. Not being satisfied with
the result, he turned his back to the
negro and anxiously inquired: 'Ts my
breeches tore, Sam?"
''Dey am dat" was the reply "dey
am busted I'm Dan ter Beersheba."
What I goin' to do bout ft?' ask
ed the little boy. Aunt Minerva sho'
will be mad. These here's bran-spankin'
new trousers what I amt never wore
tell today Amt you got needle an
thread SOS you can fix 'em, Sam?"
Nary er needle" said Sam Lamb.
Is my union suit tore, too?" asked
Billy again turning his back for in
spectiOn.
His friend made a close examina-
ton.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18
MSS MINERVA
go and SKA
~}|1 WILLIAM GREEN Hill
by FRANCES BOYD CALHOUN
Copyright, by Reilly & Britton CO

~ q BEl~1C4 CO.J
.EssStz <5z.t ~ q ? =T7rs- Z TT = tx
spoons from the sideboard to his peck
cts when a noise at the dining room
door caused him TO look in that di-
rection. With an oath he sprang for
ward. and landed his fist upon the
nose Of plump gentleman standing
there, bringing stream of blood and
sending him sprawIing to the floor
Mr.. Jones overturned a big-eyed little
boy who was in his way, and walk
ing rapidly in the direction Of the rail
road, the erstwhile plumber was seen
no more
Jimmy quickly recovered himself
and sprang to his feet. Seeing the
blood streaming down the white shirt
front of Miss Minerva's unconscious
beau, he gathered his wits together
and took the thread of events again
into his own little hands. He flung
himself over the fence careless Of
Sarah Jane this time, mounted a chair
and once more rang the telephone.
Hello! Is that you, Miss Central?
This is me some more. Gimme DR..
Sanford's Office please
Hello! Is that you, doctor? This
is me. Mr.. Algernon Jones done kilt
Miss Minerals beau. He's on her
back porch bloody all over. He's bout
the deadest man they is. You'd better
come toreckIy you can and bring the
hearse, and a coffin and clean shirt
and a tombstone. He's wounded me
but amt dead yet. Goodby."
DR.. Sanford received Jimmy's crazy
message in establishment. He. too,
rang the telephone again and again,
but could hear nothing more, so he
walked down to Miss Minerva's house
and rang the door bell Jimmy open
ed the door and led the way to the
back porch, where the injured man,
who had just recovered consciousness,
was sitting Imply in a chair.
What does all this mean? Are you
hurt?" asked the doctor as he exam
ined Mr.. Jones victim.
No, think I'm all right now" was
the reply; but that scoundreI certain
ly gave me a severe blow
Billy, shut up in the bath room and
listening to all the noises and confu-
soin, had been scared nearly out of his
senses. He had kept still as a mouse
till now, when thinking he heard
friendly voices he yelled out: open
the do an unite me-"
We done forgot Billy" said the
little rescuer, as he ran to the bath
room door and opened it. He was
followed by the doctor, who cut the
cords that bound the prisoner.
Now, William" commanded Dr.
Sanford, as they grouped themselves
around the stout, plump gentleman in
the chair. begin at the beginning
and let US get at the bottom of this. !"
Mr.. Algernon Jones he come to the
gate" explained the little boy, an he
say he gOin' to fix the water pipe an
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18

WIZARDS Plea for Closed incident at
Least Had Merit of Perfect
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..

The minister had been invited to
dinner. and 5-year-old Willard was
warned that he must use his Sunday
manners at the table. As the plate of
potatoes was passed to him, after ev-
eryone else had received helping.
Willard emptied the contents onto his
plate. His mother, blushing. put back
q greater part of the potatoes.
Hog. said the little fellow. where
upon he was Immediately sent to bed.
The next morning Willard sat oppo-
site his mother at breakfast. The look
on his mothers face soon told the boy
an unusual atmosphere was surround
Ing the family meal, and he became
suspicious that he was the cause.
Well, he said, looking his mother
straight in the eye. you don't need to
get sore about it. You got me. didn't
you?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18

"Mr. Chairman!" said the orator,
who had already occupied the plat
form for twenty minutes, amid many
interjections from the audience. Mr..
Chairman! May ] appeal on point
of order? There is really so much
desultory conversation going on in
parts of the hall that it is impossible
for me to hear a word l am saying"
Voice from the Back of the Hall
Don't be downhearted; you're not
missing much!
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18
Repeated Sermons

TIE prejudice against the repetition
Of sermons is not universal A good
boob. repays Te-reading and g good
sermon should be all the more valuable
on second hearing. Dr. John Watson
clan Maclaren") openly repreached
his sermons when minister OF Seton
Park. Liverpool. and found that his
congregation approved of the prac-
tice. They insisted. however. that the
repetition should be exact, and were
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18

One morning. in Chicago, he was
examining his mail. Out Of the so
odd communications before him he
took one.
This letter" he said, is the only
one that gets rise out Of me. I'm
going to write to this old fellow"
He passed the letter to a friend,
who read:
'Dere Marster Cobb-How you KUN
in long? My rtspecEs to Madom
Cobb. Pleas, sir. rite me line. Desc
niggers down here in Mistsipi says /
don't know you and I wants to show
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18
Not Overcome by Sorrow

Roix, and after a few minutes con-
yeFsation, during which he affected
great mental depression, he asked her
for a drink of water. AS he took the
glass from her hand he produced a
tiny phisI from his pocket, and, emp
tying the contents into the water,
drank it off before she could hinder
him His face then contracted and he
sank a helpless mass on the floor. He
had only time to beg his sweetheart 5
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18

forgiveness before he expired, as she
thought
Unfortunately for Suzanne, Al
phonse was not even unconscious, and
he was able to watch the effect on her
of his own death Without the slight
est show of sorrow she fastened to
the telephone and rang up the police
station to say that a suicide had been
committed in her apartm ents. and beg
ging that the body might be removed
as soon as possible.
This was too much for Alphonse-
who promptly resurrected himself and
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-18

I'm afraid that prima donna's lack
of mathematical knowledge is going
to get me into trouble" said the man
ager.
You are obliged to accept any
terms she makes"
Il am. But it was little thought
less of her to insist on my signing
contract TO pay her 101 per cent OF
the gross receipts.