Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1912-10-03
"Quick and quiet. |"


painless divorce is our speciality.
If you pay me an advence deposit
now, | file. your claim de minute de
train stops and your own wife don't
know you're divorced"
'Tll think it over" said Wellington,
rising with resolution.
Don't forget us. Baumann and
Blumen. Satisfaction guaranteed or
your wife refunded. Avoid substi-
toots" And then, seeing that he could
not extract any cash from Little jim
ME, Mr.. Baumann descended upon
Mallory, who was just finishing his
shave. Laying his hand on Mallory's
arm, he began:
"Excoose, pleass. Can ! fit you out
Wit nice divorce?"
Divorce? me! - that's good"
laughed Mallory at the vision of it.
Then a sudden idea struck him. Il
took no great genius to see that Mr..
Baumann was not a clergyman, but
there were other marriers to be had.
You don't perform marriages, do
your" he asked.
Mr.. Baumann drew himself up:
who says don't? Amt l justice
of the peaces?"
Mallory put out his hand in well
come: then new anxiety chilled
him. He had license for Chicago,
but Chicago was far away: "Do /
need a license in Nevada?"
"Why shouldn't your" said Mr.. Bau-
mann. Don't all sorts of things got
to have license in Nevada, saloons.
husbands, dogs"
How could ! get one?" Mallory
asked as he went on dressing.
Amt got few Wit me? Do you
want to get nice re-marriage IL
cense?"
"Re-marriage?-huh!" he looked
round, and, seeing that no one else
was near: II haven't taken the first
step yet"
Mr.. Baumann laved his hands in
one another: "A betchelor? All, see
you want to marry a nice divorce
lady in R-r-reno?"'
She isn't in Reno and she has
never been married, either"
This simple statement seemed to
astound Mr.. Baumann:
"a betcheller marry a maiden!--in
Reno!-oi, oil, OF! 1t hasn't been
done yet, but it might be-"
Mallory looked him over and a
twinge of distaste disturbed him:
you furnish the license, but-er-ah
is there any chance of clergyman
"a Christian clergyman-being at the
station?"
"Vy do you want it cloigyman?
Can't do it just as good? Or nice
fat alderman l can get your
Mallory pondered: II don't think
she'd like anything but clergyman"
WE'LL" Baumann confessed, "a lady
is liable to be particular about her
foist marriage. Anyway sell you de
license"
"All right"
Mr.. Baumann whipped out port
folio full of documents, and as he
searched. them, philosophical: "A
man ought always to carry good mar
riage license. 1t might be he should
need 1t I'll hurry He TOOK large
iron seal from his side-pocket and
stamped the paper and then, with
fountain pen poised, pleaded: Wat is
the names, pleass?"
Not so loud!" Mallory whispered
Baumann put his finger to his nose,
wisely: Il see, 1t is a confidential
marriage. Sit down once"
When he had asked Mallory the
necessary questions and taken his fee,
he passed over the document by
which the sovereign state OF Nevada
graciously permitted two souls to be
made more or less one In the eyes OF
the law.
"Here you are" said Mr.. Baumann.
"vit dat you can get married anyvere
in Nevada"
Mallory realized that Nevada would
be thing of the past In few hours
more and he asked:
"It's no good in Californian"
"Himmel. no. In California you bot
gotta go and be examined"
Examined" Mallory gasped, in
dire alarm.
.Vit questions, poissonally," Mr..
Baumann fastened to explain.
"Oh!"
.In Nevada" Baumann insinuated,
still hopeful, II could mary you N.Y.
self-now, right here"
Gould you marry US in this smok-
ing room?"
'In a cattle car. II you want it."
tits not bad idea," said Mallory.
IN let you know"
Seeing Marjorie coming down the
aisle, he fastened to her, and Rugged
her good-morning with new conf
dence.
DR.. and Mrs. Temple, who had re-
turned to their berth, witnessed this
greeting with amazement. After the
quarrel of the night before surely
some explanation should have been
overheard, but the puzzltng Mallorys
flew to each others arms without q
moments delay. The mystery was ex'
citing the passengers to such point
that they were vowing to ask a few
questions point blank. Nobody had
quite dared to approach either OF
them, but frank curiosity was prefer
able to nervous prostration, and the
secret could not be kept much longer
have. onn1o RIGHT