El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-04-24
Fables Of the Wise Dame
By DOROTHY DIX.

- nee upon a time there was a
man who was always knocking
his wife's faults. and who made
existence one perpetual hot roast for
her.
At the table he would hammer ev-
crytnlng from soup to nuts. and when
she appeared in the new gown. or with
a fresh piece Of millinery on her head,
she was sure Of getting a merry haha
from him.
TO Eighth avenue with your near
sris coufcctiOns," he would cry, uh-
happy woman, DO you not know
enough nct to FurC base raiment that
turns - searchliGht on your deIecIs
OF sace and figure, and that adTer-
tiSeS the fact that your blrtn0ay pc
longs ID the I@cOrGs Of ancient MS
toryg'
These words would cause the woman
to weep bitterly. and as they also gave
her a crouch against her clothes. the
next day she would chase down town
and buy a fresh consignment Of merry
regalia In the vain hope that she v QUO
get something that would suit her Pc
culiar style and that would win
round OF applause from her husband
in this way she ran up bills that
paralyZed her lord and master, ana
that kept his nose on the grindstone
Z q
that il was the bankruptcy court for
his. unless a crimp was put in his
Wife's eXtraV aganCe. he went to a wise
old man and told him his troubles
The Reason Why.
Il do not understand" said the hus-
band to his friend. how il is that you
are on easy street while I am on the
bum. for we are both married, and II IS
my experience that a wife can give the
Il year locusts cards and spades and
r--o NV, 10
Ever since 1 was idiot enough 10
put my neck into the matrimonial yoke
] have been the faithful slave Of the
department store and the milliner, but
at last the thing has gotten on my
nerves, so that van endure my misery
no longer. and it's me for a cute little
dose Of rough on rats and the place
where the bill collector ceases from
troubling and the bargain hunters
husband is at rest"
Your misfortunes." replied the
friend, are your own fault for throw
ing cayenne at your wife, instead Of
showing the salve. I am surprised that
man OF your sagaCity does not know
that when you make a female discon-
tented with her lot you always get the
hot end of the situation, because you
have to provide her with a new one.
Il have gotten along with my wife
in pence and economy because when
eve- size made q purchase. instead OF
rlppjug il l spiele6 about her having
pulled Ott a N OLC=rIul financial Zeal
and shat Kept her from taking IL back
and changing IL for something thar
rs ould have cost twice as much.
Il throw bcU@Iets at her when she
wears an old gown and tell her how
young and beautiful it makes her look
and how well that color suits her. and
she is afraid to get a new dress lest
she might not hit the lucky combina-
ton.
Neither do I have to put up the
money for three months sOjOurn at a
swell summer hotel where il costs
money for the privilege of gazing al
the clerks sparkler AS soon as the
thermometer begins doing stunts in
the tube. and before my wife has a
chance to get her song and dance
about being run down and needing a
change, Z commence telling her tna5
her cheeks are as rosy as d girls, and
she has not the nerve 10 mention her
health TO me.
They Get Even.
Besides. she does not care to tear
herself away from one on whose APP
probation and appreciation she can al
ways count. ana as compliments are
cheaper than shopping tickets. domes-
tice harmony is preserved. and Il IS
money in my pocket. / apprehend that
many wives get even with their hus-
bands knocks BIZ running up bills. and
that If more men would try TO make