Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-04-14
SUNDAY MAGAZINE FOR APRIL H. 1912
HOW DEPEW GETS HIS STORIES

THROUGHOUT the last three or four
decades, or since great many thou
sand jokes ago, Chauncey Mitchell Depew
has been touted as the champion producer
of funny stories.
Now that he has retired from the United
States Senate, he ought to be able to obtain
employment at good wages running aMan
About Town" column in some good news
paper, providing a shower of new stories
each day. Few men have told more original
stories than Depew. When he makes an
after dinner speech, as he's done frequently
in the fifty-four years he has been before the
public, he is almost certain to tell two or
three stories about funny incidents that have
ostensibly come under his observation,
stories that have never before been told.
One would think, from the number of
these stories he keeps turning up, that Mr..
Depew couldn't step out Of his front door
without humping right into some uproarious
happening, or else that his friends are people
who meet with all sorts of strange exper-
fences and keep him supplied. Yet the
average person goes months at time with
out seeing or hearing anything funny enough
to be worth telling. One naturally wonders
then where it is that Mr.. Depew hears his
new stories. If he has some friends that he
shakes down for stories every so often, just
as one would an apple tree, such friends of
his ought to be searched out and cultivated.
I used to frame up daily column Of stories
for big Western newspaper; but without
ever getting to be a Chauncey Depew, and
so decided to hunt up the famous story.
teller from over New York way and see if
he wouldn't tip off his system.
found out that Mr.. Depew didn't hear
any more stories than anybody else; but he
sees lot of Incidents, apparently trivial,
and casual remarks, which, with proper en-
bellishment, may be twisted into good little
anecdotal yarns. He doesn't depend on the
funny columns of the newspapers, or the
Departments of exhumed antiques in the
backs of monthly magazines, for his story
hints. He gets them all just by noticing
things and listening to the talk Of people
he's with. His brain, in consequence of long
practice, automatically acts as sort of
anecdotal cistern for anything that will serve
as the germ for story. Then he'll work up
the story" as he puts it, until, in the final
telling, it is finished work of art.
TELL Chauncey Depew story OF some
personal experience, and by the time he
uses it at banquet, or some place, one would
not recognize ones own story. He has added
a point, Cracker" at the end; or, if it had
a point in the first place, he may have
elaborated on the characters, given the story
a setting, supplied atmosphere, some extra
touches of humor, propped up its plausi-
bility, and-as Dooley says-there you are!
A good story. says Mr.. Depew, is an evolu-
ton. Sometimes in a series of campaign
speeches he'll tell story several times. At
each telling he'll introduce new atmosphere,
or eliminate some phrase that has missed
fire with previous audience. At the close
of the campaign the story would differ from
it's original self even as real and musical
comedy milkmaid differ one from the other
in symmetry and piquancy.
The knack of gathering in stories from
casual incidents is a hobby with former
Senator Depew, and he keeps picking them
up, whether he has supply on hand or not.
Years ago. when he was president of the
New York Central Railroad, and was meet
ing people all day long, he made it point,
merely to exercise his mind, to frame up
enough good stories to carry through the
dinner at home that evening, as he expressed
it; or, if he was invited out, to keep the
guests in such good humor with his stories
that the hostess would invite him sometime
again, to an even better dinner. His family
urged him to stick to his task in the anec-
dotal orchard, and he kept bringing home
three or four good stories day, month in
and month out. And they were all new.