The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-12-24

pays that bill 10000 times over. The
United States owns the land for 10
miles on each side of the canal ditch.
1t is now wasted land. A year hence it
will be growing greenbackS. Have you
read or heard Of the Panama Lavender
Cclored Celery Company? No? Then
let me explain.
You probably know that the latest
craze among the upper-ten is for laven-
der-colored celery. White celery has
had it's day. Lavender is the color and
the craze is going to spread all over
the world. 1 am the only man living
who has the secret of growing lavender
celery. I have leased the 1G-mile strip
on each side of the waterway, and shall
turn the land into lavender celery beds.
The profits cannot be figured at less
than $20.O00,00 a year. We have a
president, secretary and treasurer of
the company, but we need a manager.
Mr.. Schmidt have you ever had any eX-
perience in the growing of celery?
mo sir, and I don't vhant to talk
any more. I Vhas here for my dollar
und a half"
But experience is not necessary
Mr.. Schmidt. All you have to do is
to put in the seed in the full of the
moon, keep the pigs from breaking in
and three months after your celery
comes to maturity. The most we want
of a manager is to draw a salary of
900 a year and wear a lavender
cclored bunch in his buttonhole. As
you had confidence in me when the
clouds lowered and I could not see my
way clear"
do you talk for whole week?"
shouted Mr. Schmidt
IT could, my dear man, but I shan't.
Will you be manager of Lavender
Cclored Celery Company2s Will you
sign a contract to remain with US 10
years?"
BY golly. no. I don't vhant some
things to do nit you, only to get my
money!
Then you refuse my princely offer,
do your
The major sat down at his desk and
leaned his cheek on his hand and sighed
painfully. Something like tears came
to his eyes, and there was something
like a frog in his throat as he finally
said:
''Mr. Schmidt when you took those
grease spots out of my clothes was
discouraged man. I was standing off
the landlady. 1 was standing off the
halter and the cobbler. I was jollying
the agent of this office along. You
trusted me. You told me to come in
get the suit cleaned every few minutes
If wanted to, and that If I never paid
the bill it would be all right When
recall your confidence in me-
81 never had no confidence, I sayr
interrupted Mr.. Schmidt. II try to get
my money, but you vhas some dead
beatsi I shall hear no more talk. If
you don't pay me now, I make it hot
for your
And you don't want any lavender
co1ored celery in yours?"
No SIR
Nor salary of $4,000 year?'
mo siri''
Nor a check on the bank?"
mo, sir!''
"All right Mr.. Schmidt-au right
You cast your grease spots ON the
water, and I wanted them to return a
thcusandfold, but you make it impos-
sible. 1 owe you dollar and a half
While you are signing the receipt will
step up to the photographer and Dor
row the money"
He walked out and Mr. Schmidt sat
down to the desk and signed the re-
ceipt. Then he waited. People came
along the hail. but Major Crofoot was
none of them. Noon came, but the
major did not. One-two-three O'Clock,
and then Mr.. Schmidt left the office
and banged the door after him, and
said to himself as he went downstairs:
by golly, but the next time his neck
vhas broke und he vhas dead before he
talks to me for two minutes. Copy
right 1912 McC1ure's Newspaper Syndi-
cete.)