The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1912-03-01
ONE WOMAN TO ANOTHER
A Limit to Sacrifice-TOO Much May
Be Done For Children-What
Self-Respect Requires.

I have hardly been able to wait fol
my weekly chat, for I have been SO
anxious to talk about call 1 have
just made
whom I dearly loved, but whom I now
pitied as we'll. She had always been
one of those self-sacrificing creatures
on whom everyone imposed. 1t
natura ly followed that she got a
worthless husband, whose only decent
act after they were married was his
death. Even the relief of his removal
neglect of provision for his widow and
the baby daughter he left behind.
Poor Kate! She struggled along as
best she could, continuing to deny
herself in order to give this girl an
education.
At last when the cherished daughter
was eighteen, the poor little mother
realized that by neglecting herself
she had lost the grace and charm that
were possessed by other mothers. Her
own girl had outgrown her, in fact
was ashamed Of her.
On the occasion of my visit, I found
the mother in a clean but shabby skirt
and shirt waist worn over an ill fit
ting corset. She was bending over
the tub doing up lingerie gown that
Nellie must have to wear to a dance
that evening. The still abundant but
almost white hair was drawn back in
to hard knot with no pretense Of
wave Or curl. Her front teeth were
missing and her hands were red and
SCARED by fire building and floor
scrubbing.
The petted daughter opened the door
for me. What contrast! A skirt
of the best fabric and fit with a white
silk, hand embroidered waist, hair
marcelled and puffed. face powdered
h-oY nil a
at my entrance. but palpably embar
raised when I persisted on the plea
of my old friendship, in going straight
out to the kitchen where her mother
was.
Dear little Kate-proud as a queen!
.daintily drew away her skirts from
the foamy suds that dripped from her
mothers. welcoming hand
At every word she either CONTRA
dicted her mother, or openly ridiculed
her. In some way the converse ton
led UP to the girls social success.
Then it was I saw the pain and heart
hunger in the mothers eyes.
81 don't know any of NeIie's friends,
she doesn't bring them here
"Well Mother, you know I can't
They all have nicer homes than mine,
and-and, Oh, well, their mothers are
different and the girl stopped pet
tishly unnindful Of the quick hurt
that emphasized the sorrowful droop
to her poor mothers Lips as she turn
ed to the lingerie gown in the tub.
With the bravery that was pitiful,
the woman tied to gloss over the cruel
selfishnes Of this girl, for whom she
had given UP. the best days of her life.
No one seeing the two together could
be fooled for an instant
1t wasn't a pleasant picture that I
carried away with me. Yet the moth
er herself was entirely to blame.
+ don't believe that any woman
should so far forget the duty that she
owes herself in the matter of personal
appearance, that she will let herself
run down. Let her not excuse it on
the plea that she is sacrificing for
some loved son or daughter. To them
she will give the luxuries she denies
herself. Tor them she works until
her good looks are bruised and battered
and nothing remains save some cd
time photograph that even her child
rem cannot believe was ever meant for
her. Tired by her constant labors,
she neglects to read even the daily
papers. Thus she drifts into an
ignorance Of current events that
further makes her children 10th to
have her meet the more up to date
mothers Of their friends
And then by and by comes a day
when she awakes. She sees that all
this striving and sacrifice, this labor
and loving, has resulted only in her
girl or1boy being ashamed of her. She
wishes. how she wishes, that she could
have the chance to start all over
again.
If there are any such mothers in our
little circle I do hope that they will
see and appreciate the moral of this
talk. Keep in touch with your chill
dren-dress so they will admire you
hold on to your good looks for their
sake-be a fountain head of knowledge
"a court of last appeal chum and
4 counsellor all in one. 1t will mean
far more in the development of their
in peace Of mind and pride
when they have reached the age of
1iscernment and comparison, than all
the foolish, misdirected, motherly alb
mega ton that puts my friend KPte
outside the life of the daughter who
feels her superior.
COUSIN PHEBE.