Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1912-04-24
A RaIllbIe In !;
Aphasia
Experience of a Man Who Lost
His Memory and Enjoyed It
By 0. HENRY
Copyright. 1910. by Doubleday. Page
- !. - e. ca 49, 80. - = :

L y . g
Ny wife and parted on that morn.
Ing IN precisely our usual manner
She left her second cup, Of tea to fol-
low me to the front door. There she
plucked from my lapel the invisible
strand Of lint (the universal act of
woman to proclaim ownership and
babe me take care of my cold.
When set out had no thought or
premonition Of what was to occur. The
attack came suddenly.
For many weeks had been toiling
almost night and day at famous rail
road law case that won triumphantly
but few days previously. In fact.
had been digging away at the law al
most without cessation for many years.
Once or twice good Dr. Volney. my
friend and physician. had warned me.
III you don't slacken up. Bellford,"
he said. you'll 60 suddenly to pieces.
Either your nerves or your brain will
give way. Tell me, does week pass
In which you do not read in the papers
OF case Of aphasia-of some man lost.
wandering nameless. with his past
and his identity blotted out-and all
from that little brain clot made by
overwork or worry?"
That morning as l walked l was
thinking of DR.. Volney's words. l was
feeling as we'll as l usually did. posi-
bly, in better spirits than usual.
awoke with stiff and cramped mus
cles from having slept long on the in
commodious seat Of day coach.
leaned my head against the seat and
tried to think. After long time l
said to myself, II must have name of
some sort" I searched my pockets.
Not card, not a letter, not paper or
monogram could find. But found in
my coat pocket nearly $4,000 in bills of
large denomination. II must be some
one, Of course" repeated to myself
and began again to consider.
! The car was we'll crowded with
men, among whom, l told myself,
there must have been some common
interest, for they mingled freely and
seemed in the best good humor and
spirits. One Of them-a stout, spec
tacled gentleman enveloped in decid-
ed odor Of cinnamon and aloes-took
the vacant half of my seat with a
friendly nod and unfolded newspa-
per. In the intervals between his
periods of reading we conversed, as
travellers will, on current affairs. I
found myself able to sustain the con-
versation on such subjects with credit,
at least to my memory. BY and by
my companion said:
| You are one Of u, Of course. Fine
lot Of men the west sends in this
time. I'm glad they held the conven-
ton in New York. I've never been
east before. My names r.. p. Bolder
-Bolder & Son Of Hickory Grove, Mis-
souri,
Though unprepared, l rose to the
emergency. as men will when put to it.
Now l must hold a christening and
be at once babe, parson and parent
MY senses came to the rescue of my
slower brain. The insistent odor of
drugs from my companion supplied one
idea; glance at his newspaper assist
ed me further.
my name" said glibly, lis Ed
ward P1nkhammer. I am q druggist,
and my home is in Cornopolis, Kan"
Il knew you were druggist" said
my fellow traveller affably. II saw
the callous spot on your right fore
finger, where the handle of the pestle
rubs OF course you are delegate to
our national convention"
Are all these men druggtsts?' /
asked wonderingly.
'They are. This car came through
from the west And they're your old
time druggists, too; none of your pat
ent tablet and granule pharmashootists
that use slot machines instead of pre-
scription desk. We percolate our own
paregoric and roll our own pills, and
we amt above handling a few garden
seeds In the spring and carrying side
line OF confectionery and shoes. l tell
you, Hampinker, I've got an idea to
! spring on this convention. New ideas
Is what they want. Now, you know
the shelf bottles Of tartar emetic and
Rochelle salt Ant. ct Pot. Tart and
Sod. ct Pot. Tart. Ones poison. you
know, and the others harmless It's
easy to mistake one label for the other.
Where do druggists mostly keep 'em?
Why, as far apart as possible. on DIFF
ferent shelves. That's wrong. l say
keep 'em side by side, so when you
want one you can always compare it
with the other and avoid mistakes. Do
you catch the idea?"
1T seems to me very good one."
said. f
"All right. When spring it on the
convention you back it up. Well make
some of these eastern orange phos-
plate and massage cream professors
that think they're the only lozenges in
the market look like hypodermic tab
lets.''
If can be of any aid" I said.
warming. "the two bottles of-er'-
'Tartrate of anthony and potash
and tartrate of soda and potash
"Shall henceforth sit side by side.'
concluded firmly.
Heres another one of these fake
aphasia cases." he said presently. hand
ing me his newspaper and laying his
finger upon an article. II don't believe
In 'em. l put nine out of ten Of 'em
! down as frauds A man gets sick of
his business and his folks and wants