Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1912-10-09
GEoRGR AIDE IN PARIS.
Humorist and Dramatist Gives First
AIDE to Reporter.

Hearing that George AIDE, the hu-
morist, was in Paris, a reporter
sought him out, intending to wiring
| from him the secret Of universal gay
ely, says an exchange. 1t was late
IN the afternoon, but the author of
"Fabels In Slang" was still tagging
in a hotel parlor rubbing his eyes.
81 have been asleep" he explain
ed. 1t is one Of the funny things of
Paris that there is nothing to do in
the afternoons except sleep or go to
picture galleries, which is much the
same thing"
PLEASE, Mr.. AIDE" begged the re-
porter, whisper to me the secret Of
the gayety Of Paris, so it can be
printed in the paper"
The gayety Of Paris!" Knocked
the humorist, twisting his mouth
Chicagowise. 1T does not exist. 1t
is ell stage managed for the benefit
Of tourists"
But the tourists are gay" sug-
gested the correspondent.
Gay nothing. I've seen the tour
lists. They hustle, baggage laden,
into a hotel at midnight, hurry out
before breakfast, buy a bunch Of pic
ture postals and pass the rest Of the
day addressing cards to enyfous
oSSN III lTOH a
list as long as a city pay roll. Then
they rush madly on to the next burg,
buy more postals and beat deeper the
dent of envy in the Kankakee CO.
teries. Tourists are Of two kinds:
they are either hopelessly stupid or
hopelessly smart. But l must not be
too hard on my fellow Americans.
We at least travel with the intention
Of improving ourselves, which is
more than many nations do. More
over, we no longer over-run Europe,
writing the date and our best girls
initials on famous monuments, as we
did twenty years ago.
w always must remember one
thing" e%xpounded the humorist,
punching a. finger in his fist like a
philosopher. "Take a fish out Of wa
ter and 1t can only do a silly fippity-
fap. Take John Smith, Of Main
street, and put him on the Boulevard
Montmartre n he is little better
than a lunatic. The same applies
when you put Johnny Crapud on
Main street. Moral: Every Billy
Butts His Best in His Own Bali
wick"
But, Mr.. AIDE" persisted the re-
porter, why do the American
amusement kings come to Paris to
get shows If Paris Is not amusing?"
Not one French show in twenty
succeeds IN America" retorted the
humorist. II went to a French vaude-
vile last night and there wasn't one
laugh from the rising of the curtain
to the tipping in. the coat room. My
theatrical successes r always great
est when | stick to the home atmos-
phere of the back yard and the cor
ner drug store"
But, Mr.. AIDE, why are you in
Paris If 1t is not amusing?"
because, glarcd tho humorist, ~
have Just attended two political con.
rantions and had TO go somewhere.
Why weep as,finG qucationa2 -
"Hcgauau ! want TO know the an
sw~rs, apoloGized the reporter.
"My brother Willie has just bought
rs fine horses in Belgium for our In
diana farm" confided Mr.. AIDE, OBJ
ligingly.
as rural life gay, Mr.. Ade?"
"It is interesting" corrected the
humorist. Nov I must go and get
the shirts ordered yesterday"
care the shirts gay, Mr.. Ade?"
this time with real enthusiasm.
"Then you would say, if you want
to be gay in this life be a shirt?"
Decidedly"
"And 80 on" inquired the re-
porter.
"Now come off" Whcreupon Mr..
hand, indicated that this non-fabu-
and the candid humorist had ended.