Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1912-05-16

waitin'?"
The porter essayed another bit OF
irony:
WELL" he drawled, 81 might tell
the conducta you're ready. And meb.
be he'd start the train. But the time
table says ten-thutty.'
He watched the effect of his satire
but it fell back unheeded from the
granite dome Of the Englishman,
whose only comment was:
"Oh, never mind. I'll wait"
The porter cast his eyes up In de-
spair, and turned away, once more to
be recalled.
"Oh. pawtah!"
"Yassah!"
II think Wen put on my slippahs."
Twill WEI"
"You might hand me that large bag
No, stupid. the othah one. You might
open 1t. No, it's in the othah one. All,
that's it. You may set it down."
Mr.. Wedgewood brought forth a
soft cap and pair of red slippers
The porter made another effort to
escape, his thoughts as black as his
face. Again the relentless recall:
'Oh, pawtah, think we'll unbutton
my boots"
He was too weak to murmur "Yas.
sah." He simply fell on one knee
and got to work.
There was witness to his helpless
rage-a newcomer. the American
counterpart of the Englishman In all
that makes travel difficult for the feI.
low travellers. Ira Lathrop was zeal.
GUS to resent anything short of per.
lection, quick and loud of complaint,
apparently impossible to please.
In everything else he was the op-
posite of the Eng'ishman. He was
burly, middle-aged, rough, careless in
attire, careless of speech-as uncouth
and savage as one can we'll be who Is
plainly a man of means.
1t was not enough that a freeborn
Afro-American should be caught kneel
ing to an Englishman. But when he
had escaped this penance, and ad-
yanced Hospitality to the newcomer,
he must be greeted with a snarl.
Say, are you the porter of this car.
or that mans nurse?"
II can't tell yet. What's yo' mum.
ba. please?"
The answer was the ticket. The
porter screwed up his eyes to read
the pencilled scrawl.
'Numba sem. Heah she is, boss"
Right next to a lot OF women, III
bet. Couldn't you put me in the mems
end of the carr"
Not ve'y well, sub. / reckon the
cab is done sold out"
With growl of rage, Ira Lathrop
slammed into the seat his entire hand
baggage, one ancient and rusty valise.
The porter gazed upon him with in
creased depression. The passenger
list had opened inauspiciously With
TWO of the worst types of travellers
the Anglo-Saxon race has developed.
But their anger was not their worst
trait in the-porter's eyes. He was, II
limited way, an expert in human
character.
When you meet stranger you re-
veal your own character In what you
ask about his. With some, the first
question is, who are his people?"
With others, What has he achieved?"
With others, How much is he WORTH"
Each gauges his cordially according
to his estimate.
The porter was not curious on any
of these points. He showed demo-
cratic Indifference to them. His one
vital inquiry was:
"How much will he tip?"
His inspection of his first two
charges promised small returns. He
buttoned up his cordially, and de-
termined to waste upon them the ir-
reducible minimum of attention.
1t would take at least a bridal
couple to retsore the balance. But
bridal couples in their first bloom
rarely fell to the lot Of that porter, for
what bridal couple wants to lock It.
self In with crowd of passengers for
the first seventy-two hours Of welded
bliss?
The porter banished the hope as q
vanity. Lillio ho hh0W ~" SooSAiy
the young castaways from that
wrecked taxicab desired to be q bridal
couple, and to catch this train.
But the Englishman was FESTIVE
again:
"Pawtah! I say. pawtahl"
"Yassahi"
"What time are we due in San Fran
cisco?"
"San Francisco7 San Franciscof
We are doc than the evenin' OF the
10th day. This bein' Monday. that
ought to bring US in abote Thuzzday
evenin'."
CONTINUED next week)