The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1912-09-18

put his hand on the others head and
rubbed his nose on the beef. When he
permitted his victim to arise, red
spot appeared on the top of the pro
fessor's nose.
You've come here to make an in.
spection and you've got to do 1t. You
can't smell anything unless you poke
your nose into it. What do you think
it is?"
"Roast beef. 1t smells very bad"
stammered the terrified scientist
Roast beef! Why, man, that's not
roast beef; it's unicorn"
Certainly 1t is"
"And it's rotten"
every rotten"
mot fit to eat"
Indeed it's not"
"Whatll l do with it?'
Throw it away"
mo; Ill burn it to a cinder." And
showing the meat back into the oven,
he shut the door with bang.
do you know, professor, what kind
of meat I believe in feeding insane per-
sons on?"
mo"
Human meat There's something in
human meat to nourish humans. Why
not? The waste is replenished by the
same tissue that is lost. These crazy
persons suffer from a want of brain
food. What's so good for the brain
as the brain. If l could give all these
sufferers in this asylum one dinner of
brain food | could cure 'em."
Suppose" said the professor, trem-
bling-"suppose we go out and get
some brain food for them"
"Co out? Why should we go out
when we've got it right here? You,
who have done so much for brain suf-
ferers will certainly do one thing more"
"What?" faltered the professor,
knowing well what the man meant.
Give your brain to the cause. 1t
would be worth a dozen common
brains. Its theories would be taken
in to the system as well as the organ
ic matter. Like cures like. Come, lay
your head down on that block. I'll
ldht IL Oll W III IlllS NltuNcl anu bOll II
in that cauldron."
The professor, white as a sheet and
trembling at the knees, looked about
for an avenue Of escape.
Down on the blockw roared the
maniac. "It's nothing more than many
eminent men and women among our
British ancestors have done. Think Of
Anne Boleyn, the Earl of STAFFORD,
Archbishop Lawd, Lady Jane Gray,
Charles I. and hundreds of others.
They gave their heads for no cause
you will give yours for mental suf
ferers."
The maniac seized the professor by
the arm, at the same time raising the
cleaver Van Wrinkle could stand the
strain no longer. He raised a cry that
reverberated throughout the building
Persons were heard trying to open the
doors. Then one of the windows was
thrown up, and an attendant jumped
into the room, followed by others. They
reached the maniac in time to save the
professor, took the cleaver from the
former and led him away struggling.
Six strong men were engaged in the re
moval.
Van Wrinkle on reaching home, as
soon as he had recovered from the
shock he had received, wrote out
statement to the directors of the state
asylum for the insane in which he ad-
mitted that there were cases Of insan-
ity needing rigorous treatment and that
the experienced persons In charge Of
them were the best judges Of when 20
apply such treatment. The superin-
tendant's resignation was withdrawn
The brain theorist did not again visit
the institution for two years, when DR.
Swinbourne had retired. In the new
superintendent Professor Van Wrinkle
met with surprise. He was none 9th
er than the maniac chef who had SO
nearly chopped the inspectors head Off
The superintendent smiled.
Professor" he said, 1--WE were oblig
ed to eliminate your interference with
DR.. Swinbourne's management or lose
the doctor. When you came on your
tour Of inspection was then a physi-
clan on the staff, but you had never
seen me and l concluded to play the
part Of an uncured patient. l meant no
harm. Your scientific deductions are
valuable, but we must be the judges as
to testing them"
Professor Van Winkle never told the
story as to how he had been duped and
eliminated.