The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-21

M K. hANh They say nobody loves fat man. ' but I'll wager that there isn't Matinee l Girl in Birmingham who wouldn't adore 1 big, fat. nice, cheer-y, charming Mr. Frank Mcintyre if she only knew him. l He's the incest fiat man" you ever saw, Angel Faces--so human and so kind and be takes such an interest in every thing you say and do, or maybe thought so, because he's been a newspaper man and is just about the most agreeable per son when it comes to giving out dope for an interview" that I've ever met
 .Ive been there," he declares with much feeling.
 MT. Mcintyre tips the scales at-well, er-well. any way he told me yesterday that he'd gained pound in the last four days and why, he didn't know because he'd eaten nothing but graham cracker day for two weeks, unless it was the Recipe that he read the other day for Plum Pudding
 Mir. Mcintyre is sort of' different from other fat men. somehow. His face, 10 be sure, is just as round and his neck erin Kles over lno DUCK Ol Ills CodA COlal JhoR the same, and he has one of those nice, joyous. contagious laughs that just make you chuckle whether you know what the | joke is or not and yet somehow he's diff ferent.
 Maybe it's the way he talksl
 We'll
 Any way, he's very different and very nice.
 MT. Mcintyre repeated my question:
 "who is the greatest snob you ever knew?"
 Over and over again, as he leaned back in his chair and pondered the situation.
 The chair looked worried and so did he.
 And then he let loose the dogs of war" with delicious laugh and the Star tf lBrowson-Howard clever Comedy, "Snobs," which is amusing Birmingham today. said:
 .rhe very greatest of them all was a barber"
 "shavian Humor," I said weakly.
 I always give myself the best lines in an "Interview if I possibly can, but said this weakly because l was so startled.
 ''Yes, indeed, l am in earnest" said Mir. Mcintyre, as he saw the look of incredulf- ty on my face. "The Grands Mogul of all the glorious order of Snobs that have crept under my observation stood just abaft the Hair Tonic. His name-a la Thackeray-was Augustus J. Clip, and he had perfume on his person and haushti- ness in his soul"
 T never thought of Snobs among that class of people," I observed.
 "It's an erroneous idea" said Mir. Mc- Intyre. that we have in regard to a Snob being a man with a fur lined overcoat. and a smiling acquaintance with all the paving tellers in town. Or indeed the kind that fits from Villa to Villa in Newport. Far be 1t from me to deny that there are many in the Candelabra Division, but the point I'm trying to make is that there are snobs among servants, and trades people, and among the people a fellows automobile grazes as it goes down the street-in fact, in every walk of life. Of all. however, that came my way, Augus- tus J. Flip had the Pennant, the Gold Medal and the Frosted Peanut, and Au- eustus was barber and lived in Chicago. knew Augustus, although I feel sure he would deny that our relations were any thing but purely business. Whenever went to his place he was very sleepy and unsteady and unnerved-hs social duties | keenin9 him up late at night-and he vyould drape himself over a chair in that graceful manner that Count hangs over the mantelpieee in big society drama. He wouldn't look at ais customers, and az for shouting NEXT, why, Augustus | .onld sooner die than do such a thing. He went about his task like gentleman never speaking a word. Take it from ME Auaustus was the King of Snobs"
 what was the end of this famous per- scn?' l asked.
 He married. if you please" said MT. ! MnIntvre He met the daughter of a 1 Ward Boss in Chicago at Soiree one evening. and she, taking him for the
 King of Bulgaria. in disguise' married him Her father had to get Augustus a | iob. and now they are living on side | street and 'wifey is taking lessons in heinz exclusive from Augustus. l relate this story merely to show that the rich have no monopoly on Snobbishness. I could illustrate it in 1o0 different ways, with elevator boys and bell boys and cahnen and Hotel Clerks.
 The star of "snobsp chuckled at a sudden recollection.
 ",rhere used to be hotel clerk in Pitts 1 bure who was so exclusive that he wouldn't write down the name of a guest with any pen but his own. 'Oh, slush. He used to arrange himself back of the desk, like King George just after the coronation. and read novels by the l Duchess Sometimes coming in late at 1 night from the theatre would try to win my way into his confidence, but he looked upon me as though were a mere worine