Omaha daily bee., 1912-02-18
WOOING OF MISS DEMOCRACY
Gridiron Club Devotes Attention to
Elusive Phantom,
MUCH SPORT WITH CANDIDATES
Democratic Presidential Nomination
Theme for Much Jest at Mid
winter Dinner of News
paper Mems Club.

WASHINGTON, Feb 1f.-Miss Democ-
ner OF the Gridiron club tonight. while
members disguised TO represent the sew
eral candidates for the democratic presi-
Dental nomination entertained with their
woolng a distinguished company, inolud-
ing President Taft. some Of the candi-
dates In person. prominent members Of
congress OF all factions and guests from
a number Of states.
Festivities began as usual with the
blazing up Of the red and white lights
OF the immense gridiron over the head
OF the presiding officer. and from that
moment until the diners were dismissed
TO the strains OF ''The Song that Touched
My Heart" candidates OF the demo-
cratic faith were continually in evidence.
They appeared as judges OF election.
members Of q court of honor, as Robin
Hoods band Of lusty outlaws and as
contenders in a steepleehase, The situa-
ton was snlivened occasionally by a few
republican progresslves and regulars
breaking in upon tho dominant and In
sistent democratic candidates.
Louis Garthe OF the Baltimore Amer
lean was initiated as president Of the
club and was subjected 10 grilling
cross-examlnation by ten presidential
candidates in order to test his fitness.
Champ Clark wanted TO know Of Mr..
Garthe whether he favored tearing down
custom houses and annexing Canada;
La Toilette asked what he would think
OF Gods patient poor biting piece
out Of n fat corporation every day"
while Oscar Underwood put his question
into rhyme. thus:
II l cut steel and steel cuts me,
Can ! cut Ice as nominee7
The answer was: Not II Mr.. Bryan
sees you first"
To the "Gentlemen's Court Of Honor
was left the reply to Woodrow Wilson's
query: els the schooImaster Abroad
Safer Than at Homer" Harmon's pa
thetic appeal. Running for real presi-
dent. which would you rather have:
cleveland's blessing. Bryan's curse or an
Ohio candidate against your" brought
forth the comfortless answer. MY can
didate is not running in Ohio"
The Gridiron club permits It's guests to
share In the fun attending the initiation
Of new member and there was no excep-
tion tonight when NJ. Harry Stevens was
added to the limited membership. A spot
light in the darkened hall disclosed an
old-time bard. who delivered The Lay
Of the Last Minstrel" His songs, though
set in classic music. were redolent of
present politics. Thus sang Bryan OF
The Nomination."
Believe me. IL all those endearing young
charms,
Which so fondly to conquer I try,
Were 10 vanish tomorrow and fade in
my arms.
As they faded in campaigns gone by.
You would still be adored as this moment
thou art,
Let the delegates vote. as they will.
Around your dear image each wish OF
my heart
Would entwins itself verdantly still
Asked for one OF Taft's fayorits airs
the minstrel sang to the tune of '-Taras
Harp
Oh. the tariff talk in congress halls.
Grows sadder day by day.
And Underwood increasingly calls
Upon the band TO playi
A veto fiercely turks about
with musket and with sword.
To kill a bill put through without
Leave from Tafts tariff board.
The whiskers were pulled from the
minstrers face by a suspicious member
and the trembling neophyte stood re-
vealed. He was warned that only Am
bassador Bryce and Uncle Joe Cannon
were privileged TO wear boards at Grid
-. atz-.-. ,ra 80. tha, aran,Ipod a.
follows:
What is your opinion of woodrow
wilson,
IF you want me TO sing II. can give
you . lovely. melancholy funeral chant"
Have you ever heard Of Senator
cummtns7"
"oh. he's that fellow who wrote Every
Little Movement etc"
Can you give Us song about Champ
clarkr'
7 am afraid be might not Ike those
old Folk songs ef mine"
What Is your polt3csT-
Has r r announced his csndSdaryT'
Not Js4. bat SOM
Then do1rt know What an
But TUu are a ozn1dsse for nemhsr-
t1tp7-
I Am not candidate. but Il an over
whelmtng majority think sn the only
man 1m ths jDh. VIII take II
The trnsfui opera os Robin BDuf-
Eas The vehtrle fur the JrrsssutErtun Of
number Of prominent pruEresstves
sIust Of them had sought tfTs basky
lCnntinnzd on Fpurth Psge1