The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-22
TIVE BIOGRAPHY OF A BURG Ar
lIOuSEBHEAkFs TELLS SOME OF HIS EXPERIENCES WHILE
MAKING HIS UNANNOUNCED NIGHT VISITS.
the kitchen range. which was still

warm.
Then I went on about my business
OF robbing the house But that done.
as was leaving by the way I
in building a fire for breakfast, might
roast the chicks in the oven without
being aware Of their presence there.
Would you believe It'll wasted 20
minutes searching for pencil and pa
per that / might write a note to leave
on the spout Of the tea kettle, warn
ing the cook to remove the basket
from the stove!
That was simply ~assinine. The
underwriting habit Is one Of the worst
a burglar can acquire, and has made
trouble Tor many a simpleton.
women are the bane Of burglars;
they largely are responsible TO rthe
100 great elements of danger in the
business of housebrcaking. A wom-
an is as uncertain asleep as she is
awake. and can't be depended on for
TWO minutes In succession. You MAJ
v her sound asleep in one room,
seemingly settled for hours to come,
and you've no more thar begun to
ransack the bureau in the next room
than she awakens. remembers that
she forgot to wind the clock. set the
light bread dough to rise. or get a
drink OF water; and the next thing
YOU know she is standing in the door
way behind you screaming Thieves"
Murder and Police" She doesn't
know enough to be afraid. and where
the average man. hearing a noise in
II house. would snuggle under the
cover n quake, a woman will search
the place from cellar t o garnet for an
Intruder. and. If she finds him. chase
MIN a block up the street in her
nightie.
Then, too, YOU seldom can tell by
listening whether n oma is asleep
or awake. they breathe SO lightly. In
Il dead Of night a sharp-cared bur-
glar can stand in the entrance hall
of a house and locate every mascul.
when a man awakes he out of
his gurgling and strangling
and coughing. like a sea lion coming
to the surface after a ffve-minutc
dive. I've had SO much trouble with
Women-but Ill tell you of an in.
stance where two of them at once
came near cutting short my career
of housebreaking.
one night l was standing Just out
SIDE the bedroom dOor of a capitalist
friend of mine. trying to distinguish
amid his stentorian snores the breath
ing of his wife. There was Just one
thing in the house that l coveted
my friend's pocketbook, for knew
he had a habit of carrying a large
sum of money in a rusty purse in his
trousers pocket-and [ had deter
mined on taking desperate chances.
II necessary to obtain it. A way of
nasty exit. something ] neglect
cd beforehand. was in readiness; a
clear passage through tho upper hall
to tho back stairs, through a door
left ajar at h bottom. and out of an
open kitchen window. If I had come
up h back stairs instead of the
front. which latter / chose because
thew were less likely to. squeak un-
dor my thread. l might have heard
the heavy breathing Of a housemaid
in a rear room--but I didn't.
Unable to hear anything in my
breathing decided to chance 1t, step
inside and light a match. That may
strike YOU as foolhardy. but it is not
SO dangerous when properly done. 1
never. by IN chance. stand erect
when 1 light a match in a sleeping
apartment In which / am an intruder.
for the reason that the room might
have a wal<eful occupant that had
heard my entrance and was all pre-.
- "I WIG IISl SIKH vi
me. My safer method was to crouch
close to the floor and strike the
match as high up as / could reach.
SO thai a shot fired at the first flash
OF light would pass over instead of
through me. Likewise, it is we'll to
interpose some object between the
night and the bed. that the sudden
glare may not awaken sleepers.
Well. entered that room silently,
| nIlDpod thu Rnor ,~I ok-,- -.
and on the instant there was a
halr-raising shrek from the bed. fol-
~cession. The capitalists wife had
been lying there, wide-awake!
l didn't wait for her to exhaust
herself: l dropped the match. leaped
through the door II shot down the
hall TOWARD the back stairs. But
there was more trouble for me. The
honseinald, startled by her mistress's
screams, bolted out Of her room lust
IN time to get in my way at the head
or the steps, and + struck her like
a SHOT from a catapult. Down the
stairs We both rolled. head over heels.
the maids screams. even under dim
culties rivaling those Of Mrs. Capt.
tailst. we wound up with a crash on
the kitchen floor. unhurt. SO far as
was concerned, but MORALLY fright
SnSu. "aHt 10 say That I a my
work cut out for me to disentanRle
myself from the maid, scoot thro,rh
the kitchen window and make it
around the block in time to join the
first flight Of anxious neighbors who
responded to the shrieks emanating
from the capitalists mansion.
remember that l was very indie-
nant in my remarks on that occasion
concerning midnight disturbers, and
| meant every word Of it, too. though,
maybe in a different n from the