The Washington bee., 1912-02-03
Public Men And dThinDs
(By the Sage of the Potomac.)

! JnlIlk OF 1T read Jim waters artI-
! Gle in The Bee last week, on women.
| and that night | had the worst attack
! OF nightmare, or rather | should make
/ it the plural number and saw night
mares, | ever had in my life. For 4
/ while, my mother who was sleeDing
IN the next room, thought | had the
| JIm-Jams. | read Jim's article both
ways, starting with the beginning and
| reading down to the end. and then
| starting with the end and reading up
| 10 the starting point, and it was d
/ long time before l got into my noodle
| what the boy was driving at He
/ ran III SO many old mummified resi-
/ dents OF antiquity, so many haS-beens
and once wasers, and sandwiched in
/ so many quotations that II really took
Ia Philadelphia lawyer to sift out the
| point Jim was heaving at [ finally
| located the base, however, and dis
! covered that Jim was handing the
women a few wide ones because they,
| or some OF them, aspired TO be as in
| dependent, or nearly so. as a man.
! Jim. my dear old college chum. don't
/ you know You are on dangerous
ground, ! differ with you, my boy.
/ / am just fool enough. and Just dippy
| enough to believe that a woman with
/ two ounces OF brain matter ought to
| have as much say as a Critter Of the
male persuasion who only has a fraC-
| ton Of a second OF brain matter. And
/ am Just dopy enough, after reading
your prelude to ripe essay, to be
| heyc that any woman who has brains
enough to look after the BARNS after
| she has gone through the ordeal of
bringing them into this crap game
they call life, IS good enough to vote
and do anything else that a piece Of
a man is permitted to do. If | didn't
think this way, I am telling you all,
in a low sweet voice, that I might
just as well prepare to defend my
self against a suit for divorce. But
my dear friend Jimmie Waters, don't
you know you have hit the wrong
trail when you dare write that wO-
man has no right to aspire or enjoy
independence, especially in this town
where women come pretty near wear
ing creased trousers? Your article
was very nice indeed. and | enjoyed
the quotations, and a re-intrOduction
to some of those old moss-covered
authors who hourished in the days
prior to the pOpularizing of whist.
When ever | want to enjoy a real
good laugh, I just go around to Bob
Pendleton's print shop, tell Bob
funny story, and listen to him laugh.
There is a fellow that really laughs
like he enjoyed a laugh. Did you
ever watch Bob laugh? No, never?
Well watch him some time He lis
tens attentively, for a while, his face
wreathed in a half smile, and his eyes
shinino like pair of Castleberg's dia-
monds bought from Jim HudnelI on
weekly payments, and then all of
sudden Bob will let his peppers 90
shut, break his face all up so as to
resemble scrambled egg, and just
laugh himself to death He's got a
laugh that is infectious, and | certain
ly do enjoy it, If Bob is doing a job
of printing for me, just before he
makes out my bill, | tell him some
thing funny. anu in his laughing he
fOrgets to charge as much as he in
tended to charge. You know printers
and plumbers are really charge affairs.
They fix price for Job. and then
after it Is done, add on a little more
As interest to cover the time they
have to wait on You To pay the bill.
But speaking about Bob PendletOn-.
sly old mink-don't you know there is
hustler. although he may appear
slow. Barney Oldheld never sent his
green devil as fast as Bob can go. If
he lust makes up his mind to 60.
Bob's a RIGHT clever fellow, got good
long head on his shoulders Talk
Masonry to him or tell him a funny
story and get him to LAUGHING and
he will give you the best of II every
time And with It all, he's a banged
up printer, and really knows his busi-
ness from end to end. But that IN
iectiouS laugh Of Bob's Is good for
bone SPAWN, chillbrains. gout or
cvaporated chitterlings. Try him once.
the next time you get some printing
done at his place
\
I see that original member Of the
Phi Kappa Beta fraternity and or
ganizer of the b. H. Bovine Herd
William Lionadas Houston, erstwhile
Grandmaster Of the Odd Fellows. and
a jolly good fellow himself, IS men
toned extensively as a likely next
Grand Secretary of the Odd Fellows
OF course I know when Alex Martin
read 1t, he Immediately got out a
capias, and when Asbury heard it he
got busy, but then you know when a
fellow has the machinery all creased,
oiled and fabricated, what's there to
do but let him shoot the shutcs A
member Of my lodge told me the
other day, in strictest confidence. that
the slate agreed upon is Ben Davis
for Grandmaster, William /. HOus-.
ton. Grand Secretary, some otneri
missing link whose name I don't rel
call. for Deputy Grandmaster, and
some other full-bIOOded Afriganus,
whose name 7 also have mislaiG IN
nv dresser drawer, for Editor of the
Odd Fellows Journal. if change IS
To be made. The next meeting Is toi
be held at Atlanta, and once the dele
oates land in that Georgia town they
will be treated to a bit Of hospitality
that will make them sOmnambulists
from that time to the end Of the meet
ing, and all Ben Davis and Houston
will have TO do will be just count the
AaodLo-, +ba Draran+ (rqrd