davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

BnIrlH0 HIM WITH HEn UMBRELLA.
aware, owing to the recent epidemic
among the silkworms the price Of SILK
has increased enormously Of late"
The customer took the silk. paid for
II and went away. The draper there
upon lectured his assistant, saying:
You've no commercial adaptability.
Mark my words and remember what
said for next tims."
A few days later the draper was hav-
Ing his dinner. leaving bis assistant at
the counter. Hearing a noise. he look
cd out and saw the same old lady belt
ing his assistant with her umbrella.
He separated them and asked the as
sistant what he had been doing.
''Oh," said the assistant II was mere
ly carrying out your instructions. She
asked for some tape. and showed her
some. ! sud: We can let you have
this at eightpence the dozen yards. II
1t wasn't for the fact that We have had
II In stock some time we should have
to charge shilling, for, ~ yoa -ers
doubtless aware. owing to the rscent
spidentc among the tspswornnS the
prize OF tApe has gone mp eaoraSsusly
Of late Then chs hit me- with hsr UNI
breiln."-Pearson's
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

room. where, after a few remarks, he
presented him with dollar as me
mento Of the occasion. On rejOining
his fellow supers. Eve In number. the
happy recipient spoke Of his good for
tune. dilating upon the cause thereof.
At the next performance Forrest kept
his eye ON him to see II he could again
so overcome him as to cause him to
faint. When he reached the scene and
climax his ACCOMPLISHMENT can be i'm
agined when six of the supers fell
over In a dead faint.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24
4 SHARP CLIENT.
VesieA He Counsel, but His Nseve
Wen Him Freedom.

VeeisA He Counsel, but His Nerve
Wen Him Freedom.
Ths Paris bar Il laughing At the ruse
ct youthful advocate who had to de-
fend q man whose reputation was not
Of the best.
After much thought the counsel con-
Guided that II be could produce docu-
mentary EVIDENCE of his clients hon
esty all would be well and to obtain
an acQuittal would mean much, MS fur
~ future practice was concerned. Like
most suspects, the client was PENN.
iess. - to produce the necessary EVIL
dence It was needfui to provide the
means.
Tho advocate gave his client a FIVE
franc piecs-about Stand suggested
that he should take 1t to the police and
say be found 1t in the street and thus
obtain a receipt. The client acqui-
esced. went TO the police ONCE and re-
turned with a receipt. The advocate
gave cursory glance at the docu-
ment and tied 1t up with bis brief. IT.
tie thinking of the sequel.
On the day OF the trial the young ad-
vocate relied entirely on the police re-
ceipt and thus terminated his appeal
to the jury.
II have q document which shows
that during the past week my client
found a FIVE franc piece in the street.
and without delay he took 1t TO the
police. Ii TINT the act of thief?"
Then he triumphantly handed the
document to the president Of the court.
The Judge examined It closely and
asked:
"Was 1t francs that he foundT'
Eyes, Mr.. President" was the reply.
II am quite sure a. to that"
But" said the president. "the re-
ceipt II for a franc only"
The court was convulsed. and the
Jury. appreciating either the ingenni-
ty Of counsel or the sharpness Of his
client. acquitted the "honest" knave.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

The class had just finished recitina
''The Charge Of the Light Brigade"
Now" said the teacher, ''can any
one present tell me the meaning Of
those words. Half n Lacquer"
Up shot the hand of Thomas Jones,
aged eleven, football captain and In
domitable fullback.
'sPlease. sir. 1t means they couldn't
get enough clubs l. axe up the full
league"
Some one had blundered.-Londos
Answers.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

There were introductions all around.
The big mun stared in puzzled way
at the club guest.
You look like man I've seen some
where, Mr.. Binkler." he said. "Your
face seems very familiar. fancy
you have a double. And funny
thing about II Is that remember
formed strong prejudice against the
man who looks like you-nlthough I'm
quite sure we never met
The little guest softly laughed.
I'm the mau." be answered. "and
know why you formed the prejudice,
passed the contribution plate for two
pears in the church you attended,
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

Ths Chinese farmer stands second to
none In all tho world. Thb b all tlss
more remarkable since he hae rally 20
few implements with which to work
the marvels he produces. His only I'm
plements are the hos. the pillow and the
harrow. Beyond these tho Chinese
farmer never dreams Of desiring amy
other. The 6rst of these tools seems
uever to be out Of his hands, for 1t Is
the one upon which he relies the most
and il his most effective implement 1t
really takes the place Of the spade III
0ngiand, though the latter b never put
10 such extensive and general uses ~
the hoe. The Chlnaman cas- do any
thing with It but make It speak. A
farmer well on In years can easily b
recognized amidst q number OF work
ingmen by the curve his hands have
taken from holding the hoo In the
many years of toll in his fields. With
II. II he II poor man and has no oxen
to pillow the ground, he turns up the
soil where he Ii going to plant his
crops, and with It he deftly and with
= turn Of Ills wrist levels out the sur
face so that 1t is made ready for the
seed. With { broad bladed hoo he dips
to the bottom Of stream or u pond.
draws up the soft mud that has gath
cred there and, with q dexterons
swing. filings the dripping hoefuI on to
bis field nearby TO increase its richness
BY this new deposit.-London King.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24
Forrest. Wonderful Power.

An eneminate young man. mn in
tense admirer Of Forrest. enlisted
among the supers so as to be nearer
his Idol. At the end Of Forests most
effective speech, then on. the new ac-
tor was 70 overcome that he tainted
The Incident 10 pleased the "oltl man"
that he called him to his dressing
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

Mark Twain was once interviewed
and promised the interviewer the story
of his life. The journalist first asked.
"What IL your baptismal Manner and
the author Of tom Sawyer replied
that he feared he could not say exact
IT,. The journalist was discounted at
this. and his face showed 1t. Then said
the humorist: II was a twin, and my
brother and I, Of course. received our
respective names. One day they were
giving us bath, and one Of US was
drowned, and they never knew which
Of US 1t was"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24
a Re.,,vrino Truth,

A lady on one Of the ocean liners
who seemed very much afraid Of ice
bergs asked the captain what would
happen In case Of collision.
The captain replied, THE iceberg
would move right along. madam, just
as II nothing had happened" And tie
old lady seemed greatly relieved.-Sue-
cess
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

The inns Of England, celebrated by
Harrison and famous fnr and wide at
the beginning Of the last century. have
degenerated into sad places which we
visit only Of necessity. Little did
Stephenson think when he proposed
the line from Manchester to Liverpool
that he would ruin the wayside inns
Of England md kill the art Of cookery.
Magazine.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

The lady Of the house was hand
some woman Of a mature order Of
beauty. and when she had completed
her toilet she gaxed fondly Mt herself
In the glass and remarked to the new
maid. YOU'D give a good deal So be as
handsome rs l am, wouldn't you.
now?"
"Yes'ni." was the maids answer. al
most as much rs you'd give to be my
sge."
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

"Do you think that Miss Kidder was
having fun with met" asked Chawiie.
"Well. old chap, give me the details"
was Awthur's response.
You see. l had my bull terrier with
me. and said to her. That dog knows
as much rs do And she said. 'Don't
you think $3.50 was too much to pay
for hint "-Cleveland Leader.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24


A stockbroker who had his new
forty horsepower automobile delivered
to him the other day decided to cele-
brate the occasion, the market being
dull. says the New York SUN. by run
on the country roads. To be on the
safe side on his gasoline supply he de
cided TO stop at garage to have the
tank oiled. As 1t was being measured
out he turned to his son. sturdy chap
Of six. who had followed him inside
the garage. to impress upon him the
danger Of gasoline. Calling him by
name, he said. "You would go straight
to heaven II ! put . match to that
gasoline
Looking his father straight in the
eyes. the boy replied. "And where
would you go. dadT'
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24
DEsoLATIoN ISLAND.
ksrsuslsn Land 10 . Region Of Per-
pstuai Storms.

pstual Storms.
OF all places on earth outside the
arctic and antarctic regions Kergueien
Land, in the Indian ocean, is the most
isolated and inhospitable. Indeed. 1t
Is generally known to mariners not by
It's ofFlcial title. but as Desolation H.
land.
Most nations have owned 1t by turns.
hut It has been sooner or later aban-
doned by them all rs worthless. and
this although 1t covers an area .varh
ously estimated at from 1900 to 1000
square miles. At present France Is in
nominal possession Of 1t. she having
annexed 1t in 1898.
cally the whole Of the interior is COW
cred with snow fields Of unknown
depth, whence glaciers f,ow down to
the. yea. Where there are NO snow
fields there arc mornssea and hidden.
treacherous mudholea.
The climate b probably the worst In
IN world. Terrific tampests follow one
4npt1,ef practically witAopt ceasine
and afu accompanied b torrents Of e.
god rain, han. sscet and snow. Tho
Challenger expedition spent month
there, during which time there were
only three ane days. And this was m
December-January, when It Is mid
summer in those latitudes.
Its discovcrer, N. Kerguelen Trema-
rec. although at first he professed to be
enrap.ured with 1t, lived to confess
that 1t was unit for human habitation.
'Not even Eskimos," he exclaimed,
could exist there."-Pearson's.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24
psp MIs sssr.

~ poSloeo0 uneeruetieuey ret sne hs'
suit -tNas Very oiseeurssins.
There was a man who kept small
Diapers shop and who had an assist
ant who was new to the business. Que
day an old lady came In and asked Tor
some silk. The youthful assistant show.
ed her some. saying;
1--WE can do this for you at O.. ID.
yard"
Tho master then came forward and
said:
I'm surprised at you showing this
lady stun Of that quality. Take It
away and put 1t back on its shelf"
Then. turning to the customer. he said:
you must excuse my assistant.
madsm-he Ia new to the business. But
II you will allow me will show you
something very superior"
He went away and returned, bring
ing the same piece of silk. This.
p,adam." he said, ''is very superior
article. los. Cd. yard. fit were not
for the fact that bought 1t some time
ago we should have to charge you 1t
vhillings. for. as you ARE doubtiess
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

Little Flora - Mamma, you amt a
girl. are you? Mamma-Certainly not,
my dear. I'm 4 woman. Little Flora
But you were a little girl. weren't you?
Gamma-Oh, yes. years ago.. Little
F1ofa-Well. where Is the little girl
now that you used to bel Chicago
News.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

The Heiress-I want to be loved for
myself. Count de Broke (apprebea-
siveIy)-My dear lady. is there any pos
sibility Of this being n case Of mistak-
en- identity f-1llustrated Bits.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

Erred. dear. I feel 1t in my bones
that you are going to take me to Tie
tteatcr tonight"
(which bone. dariing?'
am not sure. but I think it's my
wishbone!"-kansas City independent
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 81. lsi.
Engraved cards, Invitations, Of,
Our samples will help you decide.
THE HERALD.

II you are thinking of having any
building work done the coming sea-
son, call on Clarence Ford now and
get accurate estimates. He has
thirty volumes full Of building ideas
iiand over i've hundred plans Of resi-
sdences. Homes suitable to any
spurse. Call now.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24
Rl. nl..tl . Gaod Worker

!. II blamed my heart for severe dis
'r-s- in my left side for two years."
! rit.s W. Evans, Danvilis, Va, "but
know now that 1t wAs indigestion,
~ DIR. Kings New Life Pills cured
3,-" B..st for stomsch, liver or kid
8 y ,ruabi... constipation, headache
pr d.ability. 25c. at all druggists.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24
wind MINI

See the new Star wind mill. sold
ny A. e. Lytle. These mills arc per-
frctly s-lf-govsrnins; automatically
throwing themselves out Of gear;
adjusted to any velocity Of wind.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24
Unsettled.

Skinner-Good morning. ma'am. DID
the weather has been lately: Afss.
Hashlcy-Well. there's your board bun.
Mr.. Skinner.-Philadelph Inquirer.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

The psychologists tell US We have
Ave senses. and yet some folks act as
II they had none.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24
4Nean.

~Can you tell me what steam Isl"
asked the examiner.
sWhy. sure. sir" replied Patrick
confidently. steam is-why-cr-it's
wather thot's gone crazy wild the
heat."-Everybody's.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

One may dominate moral sufYerings
only BY labor. Study saves from dis
eourlsement.-DAb fantes.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24
WIN s,ars year cold
BRONASl-FERHIN
while you sleep.

Z u, W .h-.t+r picture shows are
~: r''ursdxy, Saturday and Sun
.irss.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

Men are like hens, the harder they
Sav- to scratch for living the more
as,.fMl they become.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

Suspicion always hasnts the gu1k
mind.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

Il was afruid you'd scream when
kissed you.-
II didn't dare. Mamma was h ~
next room and would have heard "a"
-Houston Fost.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24

The power Of necessity b irrsssssssaa
-AeschyfuA
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24
Who Marc Was.

In the days when Sir Charles Gavan
Duffy was a leading figure In Victo-
rian politics there sat in the Melbourne
parliament wealthy but not well ill.,
formed butcher. The chief secretary
Of the day was deprecating the atti-
tude Of the lender Of the opposition.
whose conduct was. he declared, worse
than Nero's.
who was Nero?' interjected the
knight Of the clever. with equal scorn
and sincerity.
"who was NeroT' replied the de-
lighted chief secretary. THE honor
able gentleman ought to know. Nero
was celebrated Roman butcher"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-02-24


At a marriage service performed
some time ago in little country
church In England, when the minister
said in solemn tone. "Wilt thou have
this man to be thy welded husbandy'
instead Of the woman answering for
herself q gruff mans voice answered:
"Oi will"
The minister looked up, very much
perpfexed. and paused. He repeated
the sentence. and again the same grun
voice answered:
'Of will"
Again the minister looked up sur.
prfsed. not knowing what to make Of
II. when one Of the groomsmen at the
end Of the row said:
"'Er be deaf. OF he answerin' foe
a."
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31
Advises Deep TiIIage

To Wallaces' Farmer:
The season of 1912 has brought
as a bountiful harvest, for which
we should all feel most grateful.
We have had an abundance OF
moisture all through the grow
ing season, which has kept the
ground in such condition that
the roots could penetrate in
search of food. They found it,
and the result was a good crop.
This exhausted the plant food 70
4 certain degree. The excessive
rainfall washed off another por-
tion of the fertility, consequent
~ "a double drain on the soil, and
unless We replace this in, some
manner, we are sure to have a
light crop in the season of 1913.
Agricultural architects are what
We want and must haze, right
now. The common, every day
architect is of no more impor-
lance than the agricultural arch
itect-the man who will provide
the material for the growth of
any and every crop that he
wishes to raise.
The exceptional drain of plant
food from the soil this season de-
mands special care and attention.
Plow deep, and thoroughly pull
vefize the entire furrow slice,
leaving it in perfect connection
with the underlying soil. This
will receive and retain all the
moisture that falls, and capillary
action will bring it forth in time
of need.
The architect will provide the
material in accordance with the
building he plans on raising. Il
is equally as essential that the
agricultural architect provide
material in accordance with the
crop he plans to raise,
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31

In pursuance with the law, and
in conformity with the proclama-
tion issued by the sheriff, l, G..
M. Jones, Mayor of Baxter
Springs, Kansas, hereby an
nounced and proclaim that an
election will be held in this city
in its various wards, on Tuesday,
November, S, 1912, for the pur-
pose of electing a national, state,
congressional and county ticket;
also for the purpose of electing
constables and justices for the
city of Baxter Springs, Kansas:
The following persons are
named for judges and clerks of
said election and polling places
are hereby designated:
FIRST WARD.
Judges-A. G. Hanback,, G. E.
Lundgren, John Jennings. Clerks
&C. A. DiveleY, J. =. Ryon.
Polling place, Perkins build
ing, block 6, o. p.
SECOND WARD.
Judges-B. E. Devillers, R. S.
Weaver, J. M. Newhouse. Clerks
"A. o. Rossmann, G. w. Skin.
ner.
Polling place, City building.
THIRD wAsD.
Judges-M. A. Patton, S. ].
Armstrong, J. "A. Dennis. Clerks
IT. T. McAboy, Ed. Johnson.
Polling place, Preston Buttons
residence, on East street.
In testimony whereof, / have
hereunto set my hand and seal,
and caused the same to be at
tested by the city clerk, with his
seal, this 21st day of October,
A. D. 1912.
Chas. M, Jones, Mayor.
Attest: B. W. Patton,
(Seal) City Clerk.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31
advertisement
Democratic Ticket.

For President
WOODROW WILSON
of New Jersey
For Vice President
THOMAS R. MARSHALL
of Indiana
For Governor, George H.
Hodges, Olathe.
For United States Senator, W.
H. Thompson, Garden City.
For Congressman Third Dis
trict, Francis M. Brady, Oswego.
For State Senator Tenth Dis
trict, Gabriel Schmuck, Galena'
For Representative 22nd Dis
trict, Ralph Deacon, Weir City.
For Representative 23rd Dis
trict, r. L. Armstrong, Melrose.
For County Clerk, Emerson
Hull, Columbus.
For County Treasurer, Fred
Hitler, Ross Township.
For Register of Deeds, James
A. Orr. Stippville.
For County Attorney, r. W.
Emerson, Weir City.
For Probate Judge, F. A.
Jackson, Columbus.
For Sheriff, Ralph E. Martin
Columbus.
+ For Coroner, r. B. English,
Baxter Springs.
For County Superintendent,
E. E. Stonecipher, Pleasant View
For Clerk of District Court, W.
S. Wickersham, Ross Township
For County Surveyor, James
C. Brown, West Mineral.
For County Assessor, J. C.
Boyes, Galena.
For High School Trustees
Joseph Hanley, Weir City; l.
W. Schreiner, Columbus; R. o.
Thomas, Baxter Springs.
For County Commissioner End
District, Allen Hall, Sheridan
Township.
For County Commissioner Bro
District, J. G. Livingston, Lo'
well Township.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31

When you have a bad cold You
want the best medicine obtainable
so as to cure it with as little de-
lay as possible. Here is a drug
gist's opinion: II have sold
Chamberlain's Cough remedy for
fifteen years." says EuoS Lollar
of Saratoga, Ind, and consider
it the best on the market" For
sale by All Dealers.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31

]. w. Copeland, of Dayton,
Ohio, purchased a bottle of Cham
berlain's Cough Remedy for his
boy who had a cold, and before
the bottle was all used the boys
cold was gone. Is that not better
than to pay a five dollar doctors
bill? For sale by All Dealers.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31

Deep tillage is what liberates
the plant food and increases the
feeding ground for the roots,
thereby securing a bountiful
crop.-SoiI' Architect.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31
Notice,

Notice is hereby given that
parties taking tailings, gravel or
rock from the Abrams or l. and
o. Co.'S. grounds will be prose-
cuted unless arrangements have
been made. "A. w. ABRAMS.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31
DR.. English. Phone 1913.

A chorus of about IS voices
support the soloists and leading
characters in the beautiful Eng
lish cantata, to be presented in
the Opera House Friday night,
Nov. 9Th Tickets will be on
sale at Granthams.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31

you will find Chamberlain's Stom-
ach and Liver Tablets excellent.
They are easy and pleasant to
take, and mild and gentle in
effect. For sale by All Dealers.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31

We have sold out an entire Car
of Weber Wagons in the past
three weeks-and another Car is
en- route. If you want the best
wagon that runs on wheels buy
the wagon the people are buying
the Weber. Hood sells 'em.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31

Notice to farmers having wheat
to sell. This is to notify you,
that we can not receive wheat at
Baxter, testing under 50 pounds
until further notice.
Willard Bros.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31

If you have young children you
have perhaps noticed that disord-
ers Of the stomach are their most
common ailment. To correct this
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31
$40 REWARD

For evidence which will convict the
party or parties who have been
damaging the property of the Bax.
ter Telephone Company, by break.
ing glass insulators or otherwise.
Y w Now Maro0av
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31

Here is a woman who speaks
from personal knowledge and long
experience, viz, Mrs. p. "a. Bro
gan, of Wilson, Pa, who says,
II know from experience that
Chamberlaiu's Cough Remedy is
far superior to any other. For
Group there Is nothing that ex-
cells it." For sale BY All Dealers.
rnr go f-...t. t.;ii,
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31

Many q child Is called dull and stupid
when the whole trouble Is due to q lazy
liver. We firmly believe your own doc
Tor will tell you that an occasional dose
Of layers Pills, sugar-coated, will do such
children q great deal OF good. Ask him.
AEadO By the !. o. AVER CO.. Lowell. Mass
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1912-10-31

nc this Ufate for sale bills.