davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1912-08-01
A SERMON ON WAR.

OF course you understand that
| the name of The Fool Killer does
not mean that it actually believes
in killing folks. It only wants tc
kill out their foolishness and learI
them to have some sense.
Let that serve as an lntroduc-
ton to the sermon on war which
follows.
You can notch it on the bed
post and mark it on the wall that
the editor Of this journal of justice
is unalterably opposed to the
legalized butchery they call war.
And one Of the reasons why my
sympathies are with the Socialist
party is because it is the only par
ty that opposes war. It believes
that it is just as wrong for ma
tion to murder men as it is for an
individual to do the same thing.
And that's my doctrine to a
gnat's whisker.
This is a great Christian gov
ernment, you know. 1t has law
against individual murder, and it
will yank UP a poor devil and jerk
his knot off slicker than howdy
for killing one man. And then the
same Christian @ government
will wade in and murder a thous-
and Or ten thousand men and brag
about it. Darn such business, I
say!
1t is just as great crime in the
eyes of God for the government
of the United States to kill a man
as it would be for me to kill man.
Murder is murder whether COM
mitted by nation or an individu-
al-and you can t make it anything
else.
The only reason that war is pos
sible is because SO many of the
common people of the world are
blubbsring fools. The big rich
devils get all the wars started for
their own financial benefit, and
then they force the poor dogs to
the front to do the fighting and
get killed. That's all the reason
there is for war, and that's a
mighty durn poor one. If the big
bellied bankers and plug-hatted
politicians had to march out and
stick up their own booze-bloated
bay-windows as a target to shoot
at, they wouldn't be so drotted
keen about it. When the poor
man gets sense enough to refuse
to fight the rich mans battles,
then war will cease.
The fool-killer., 1912-08-01
WHAT rs WHAT.
BY FL. GREELY MILLER.

L.
and sells it for So. 90 without add
ing durn red cent to It's value.
and that's profit.
A fellow with more cunning
alacrity, brutality, superior acu-
men or pure fool luck runs across
a valuable something and claims
| to be its rightful sole owner, sim
ply and solely because he beat
somebody else to it. That's dis
coyery.
An estate is handed down thru
generations. The original owners
may have either stolen, cheated,
swindled, grabbed, ground, lied
or wheedled to getit. But now it's
inheritance.
"A man holds Stock and sits
or lies in the shade and earns nary
nick, but lives on the fat of the
land, and only benefits the world
like a fat hog-by dying. That's
income.
The man who has an income"
Hives without earning a red cent or
doing solitary useful act. That's
a gentleman Of leisure.
Another man has no income and
does nothing useful. That's hobo
or tramp.
A poet or musician composes a
masterpiece and sells it for bread
to keep from begging or stealing.
After he is dead, another man
copyrights it and gets rich, while
the author in his humble grave
gets fame. That's genius.
A skilled worker takes a little
straw worth 2 cents, few feath-
ers worth 5 cents, a nickel's
worth of ribbon, a few artificials
worth from 2 to 5 cents, and
conjures up combination of In
describable and senseless form
which serves for a lady's head
gear. That's art.
A hat or frock.goes out of style
and wifey or daughter wouldn't
have it as gift. Next year it
comes back into style, and father
sells COW and calf and buys it.
That's fashion.
A man invests his money in
the right thing at the right time
and gets rich. He's a financier.
Another man invests in the
wrong thing at the wrong time and
hits the ceiling. He's fool.
An uneducated Irishman or
Italian labors ten or twelve hours
a day for $3.50, but earns So. 90 or
$1,000 for the stockholders in a
railroad. That's labor.
The official exercises lordship
over nation, and that's statecraft.
The soldier fights for it, and
that's patriotism.
Tho nsioc% ~v,rorc e. - l
The fool-killer., 1912-08-01
Plutocracy Prays to the Pope.

Our political and spiritua
Pappy who art in Rome, if tn
holy foot isn't hurting thee to-
much we would like to pour
few supplications into thy bes'
ear this morning.
Holy Pappy, we come tumbline
down before thy bald headed
greatness like pouring rotten ap'
pies into pig-pen. We admit,
holy pappy, that we are-all a pack
Of blamed fools, and that there
is no man in America capable OF
doing his own thinking. That's
why we areall depending on thee
to lead us out of our present
political trouble.
O holy pappy, we know that
thou lowest us, and we pray thee
to help us in this campaign.
Deliver unto us the Catholic
vote, and we will soon deliver
America into thy hands, bound
and gagged.
We thank thee for what thou
hast already done in America.
We thank thee for the city
government of New York, where
the Irish Catholic police force
collects So, 600, 600 in hush money
from the robbers and gamblers
every year.
We thank thee that practically
all the chaplains in our army and
navy are Catholic priests.
We thank thee forth valuable
service thou hast rendered in
helping the money power to get
a strangle-hold on the throat of
the people.
We thank thee for all the ig-
norance and superstition which
thou hast sown and cultivated
on American soil. For thou
knowest, O pappy, that the
more ignorant and depraved the
people can be kept, the easier
sailing it is for us slick ducks
and political sharpers.
We pray thee, holy pappy, that
thou wilt help us in some way to
check the spread of Socialism.
These blamed Socialists are the
worst enemies we have. Thou
knowest that the Republicans
and Democrats love and worship
thee, and the Progressives have
never uttered one word against
thee. But the hateful Socialists
are eternally digging up some of
thy devilment and asking fool
questions about it. We wouldn't t
care so much, but it happens that
their charges are true, and that $
what hurts. Therefore we pray
thee, 0 pappy, to swat the So
cialists with a great and terrible
The fool-killer., 1912-08-01

Dear Pearson - Y You may Remember
the publisher of The Searchlight in
our amateur days of few years ago.
I did not think very highly Of your
publications at that time, but I want
TO say there is a great field for The
Fool-killer today, and shall be
pleased to help in making it a power
in the land. Yours truly,
HARRY r. NARROW,
Warren, Ohio.
The fool-killer., 1912-08-01
SERMON BY BILLY THE FAT.

mated by the n1Oss-backs and
stand -patters at Chicago, he at
once threw down his golf stick
and went into the White House.
And when he had seated himself
and adjusted his smile, he taught
the people, saying:
Blessed is Elihu Root, for he
was good chairman.
Blessed are those ninety stolen
delegates, for I could not have
been nominated without them.
Blessed are the nigger dele
gates, for they stuck to me like a
cuckleburr to a cows tail.
Blessed is the Steam Roller,
for it is mighty useful.
Blessed is the political thief,
for we just couldn't get along
without him.
Blessed is the trust that con-
tributeth to my campaign fund,
for it shall not be bothered.
Blessed is the Pope of Rome,
for he has promised me the
Catholic vote.
Blessed are Jim Sherman and
Chief Justice White. for they are
both good Catholics.
Blessed is w. HI. Lewis, my
nigger Assistant Attorney Gen
eral, for he is going to canvass
the South in my behalf.
Blessed are the Mount Airy
Leader, the Davie Record and
the Saturday News, for they are
the only papers in North Carolina
that are supporting me.
Blessed is Wall Street, for it is
my political adviser, and telleth
me all things whatsoever I must
do.
Blessed is the campaign liar,
for he is my main dependence.
Here Billy the Fat paused and
shifted his belly to the other
knee, and continued after this
manner:
Cursed is Roosevelt, for he is
nearly as stubborn as I am.
Cursed is the Progressive par
ty, for it had no business of be-
ing born.
Cursed are the Socialists, for
they are always asking me en-
harrassing questions.
Cursed are all the other par
ties, for they will get lots Of
votes that want.
Cursed are all reform move
ments, for they interfere with
my business.
A Enclosed find money order for rs
cents for which send The Fool-Killer
4 IL 4 u s.
The fool-killer., 1912-08-01

What does old Senator DUPONT
represent in our great House Of
Lords2 Nota blamed thing but
the powder trust, and you know It.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-08-06

are rings beneath your pretty eyes: you d
have been crying IL you. weren't made OF
sterner stuff-and more'S the pity. what
are brains and spirit doing in company
with such beauty. I'd like to know. IL
not human. Mark my words, you IL De
sorry for it: it's fairly flying in the race
of nature: and punishments bound 10
follow that. But IL it's just that Critten-
den
mr.. Crittenden.' Cynthis interposed,
in haste. lis nothing to me. 1 mean, no
more than another acquaintance.
But she had perforce to bang her head
a little and look away, ASHAMED TO meet
the gaze of madame with the fib on her
lips.
Nine. Savaran permitted her an instant
of rest Then, with gentle chuckle:
..Oh" said she, IF that's all the troll
hle 49,
What do you mean" demanded Gym
thia, holly, stung by the impscauon-
''Tut. child. How you do take one up:
T mean. / don't intend further TO
fret myself about your silly love affairs.
dear"
I'm NOT Cynthia began. crimson.
Don't tell me, It's pkecept OF my
experience. dear = experience painfaiiy
harvested from life itself-taas the time
when two young people decide they are
nothing whatever to one another, merely
antedates by an hour or I'D the time
when they're willing to admit they're all
In all TO each other and wouldn't Tor
worlds he otherwise. - And Mr.. Crit
tenden., she pursued. lis fortunate be-
yond his deserts. Sidonie Says
..'Sidonie!'
(To be continued tomorrow
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-08-06

enough to listen to Rhodes account. de-
livered to madame at the port of the
latter's stateroom; of Crittenden's as
sault on Claret in the dining saloon. and
his subsequent attempt to confOund the
plans of the conspirators by means Of
wireless: of his Misunderstanding to
how, instead Of tuning his instruments
to the pitch requisite for communication
with Key West. he had actually sent out
the message Eat the pistol polntD over
an area Of very limited radius: of Crit
tenden's immediate discovery and fight
for freedom. resulting in the disablement
of Claret and in his own escape. appar-
emily unscathed. He got away clean.
Rhode had asse- ed. Il was watchin'
with the glasses. / could see him plain
enough in the moonlight swimmin'
ashore and wadin' up to the beach. He
all right-damn him.
And again. for minutes at a time. Gym
thia would sit lost in dull misery of medi-
tation: motiOnlesS, some dainty garment
dangling from her idle fingers; her knees
crossed, a trifiing satin bedroom slipper
hanging from the slim foot in its silken
casing: elbow on knee, chin in hand: eyes
their brown loneliness enhanced by
faint shades of blue round the lower lids
probing insistently the infinite dreari-
ness of parting and renc-iciation: of
life made up of days unlsghted by the
light of his smile and IT, sweetness OF
his presence-the presencesF the man she
might not love or even s&well upon IN
right to dream of loving ha. -.
Yet she was fully dressek when even
tually Mime Savaran surEised her in
like apathy of reverie. opeiEng the COM
municating door with her characteristic
vigorous readiness. sharp uptn her warn
ing knock. =
MY dear began that virile lady,
4, lat al ay1x-
morning manner And ahsn. in swift
sympathy, she paused. +;
Cynthia. dear" said she n a softened
voice touched by the girls ityan attempt
to smile as She rose and tstned.
'Child, she said, with a hfl,t of ready
arms and a bosom warm with comfort.
lis there anything I can do -Dr you?"
Slowly, her lips compressed. Cynthia
shook her head. No she ssid. her tone
lifeless 4 am all right 4 : thank
you"
"You haven't been able to sleep. can
see that This Internal racket |
shall speak to George Rhode about it,
No said Cynthia agaia. II have
slept-but not well. [ was :too tired. l
presume / don't feel rested .yet.''
She forced a semblance OF animation.
stirring about to set her room to rights
before going below for breakfast But
madame was not to be deceived
Cynthia. she insisted, In her more
tender tone, ''are YOU sure you've moth
ing to tell me?''
ITO tell you madame? Nd Cynthia
essayed an unconvincing looktcf surprise.
1t required admirable Discrimination. in
deed, to battle that kindly, sympathetic
and crafty scrutiny. Il am only-tired'
she faltered
Tell that to the marines" commented
the old lady, vigorously. .Its no good
trying to deceive a woman of my age,
child. l know very we'll that something s
radically wrong with YOU She perked
her head to one side. critically, subject
ing Cynthia to an intelligent but merci-
less summing up 1.-The way you looked
when you came back from Crittenden
with stick: and now-you're pale: there
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-08-06

The adjutant generals office: Jacob 4.
Stirewalt, clerk. at $1,vO.
Promotions-Office of the chief of ord
nance: Theodore II. Eickhoff. skilled
craftsman. from 81 400 to $3.50; Henry J.
Schneider. skilled craftsman. from si,3@
TO 81, 400; Arthur b. Whittet. skilled
craftsman. from Slaoo to $1,000; 0rie l..
Beardsley. skilled craftsman. from Sl,so
to 1880: Harry Il. Boutwell,. skilled
craftsman, from 81, 100 TO Sl.En; Harold
l.. Fuller skilled craftsman, from Slo'
TO 81 100: Norman knopf. skilled drafts
man, from 81 900 TO 81. 100: John W. Pal
mer, jr, skilled craftsman, from $1,000 10
SLIGO: Walter r. krotee. apprentice
craftsman. from 5000 to $40. Robert l..
Davids. apprentice craftsman. from 500
to 500: J. Leroy Delany, apprentice
craftsman. from $3.50 to $500: Lewis X.
Bradshaw. apprentice craftsman, from
$500 TO $3.50: Thomas A. Conlon. appren-
tice craftsman. from $500 TO $3.50: George
w. Sullivan. apprentice craftsman, from
$3.50 to $3.50 George NJ. Mccain. skilled
craftsman from $1,000 TO 81, 100.
Office of the quartermaster general
Harry l.. Waggoner. clerk. from xl.2p |"
81, 400; George w. Mold. clerk. from Sl.Wfo
to 81. 300: Raymond Z. Reed. clerk, from
$500 to 81 eco: Thomas p. Newbold, CLERK,
from $1,000 to S1.4oo; Louis G. Nanl-
baugh. clerk from $1,000 to S1,2o9; Ing
wald c. Olsen. clerk. from $500 to l.o0n
once of the commissary general-Miss
Ethel Bagley, clerk from 81, 400 TO 81 COO:
Lawrence f. Murray. clerk. from $1,000
to 81. 200. Adjutant generals office-Over-
ton c. Pierce. clerk, from S1.6oo 10 SlSoo;
Winfred Beck, clerk. from loo 10
81 600: William l.. Evans clerk. from
s.. 200 to 81. 100: Michael J. Sullivan.
clerk. from 81 600 TO $1.a0o Office of the
chief of staff. Lawrence Elliott. la
borer, from $3.50 TO $500.
designations: Office of the chief of en-
eineers-Charles NJ. Shepperson. clerk. at
$500 Office of the quartermaster gen
eral-Archie =. Hinman. craftsman, at
81 200; Raymond r. Baker. clerk. at
81 coo. Adjutant generals office-Arthur
L. Dietrich. clerk at 81 800. Once of the
chief Of staff-Thomas F. Barry. messen-
ger, at $720.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-08-06
CHAPTER XIV.
Coffin Cav.

Dawn, unfolding maryelOusiy over the
Great Bahama banks its laminated waves
of light, successfully more beautiful.
strong and warm with orient color.
wasted it's diurnal wonder on the alien
visitants at Coffin Cay-so named. One
and all, the tension OF the night had
taken its toll Of them: the spring Of day
surprised them in unconsciousnass.
In the narrow roadstead, cheek by jowl,
the Cynthia and the Orion swu5g at an
Choir. scarce cable length apart. their
tunnels only family vaperous tlEeir decks
deserted.
Aboard the former the first ofhcer. Mr.
Claret. lay in stupor. his lungs Perforated
by bullet that remained untEslodged,
in the muscles OF his back. Amateur
surgery of the rudest had donef what 1t
could for him. By his side ssteward
(not Acklin) watched with Leaders eyelids.
more than half asleep.
In their berths the remainder OF the
ships company slept in varying stages
of exhaustion, SUI erinduced by work.
worry and dissipation. Only Rhode de-
spised his bed. sitting. fully dressed. IN
q sort Of wakeful torpOr in the smoking
room; his gaze. out OF lacklustsr eyes,
whose inhamed lids lent an added touch
10 MS enSanBulnSu HdDtt. uACu :"lthouk
deviation upon the emptiness of wasted
endeavor as typified In the emptiness OF
a bottle of wasted whisky; his shoulders
hunched up nearly to his ears; his great.
red hands lost in cavernous pockets; the
dead end of a cigar distilling 1uintes-
sence of rancor between his fat, unmov-
ing lips.
Cynthia herself, in her staterOoin. rest
ed in merciful lethargy. numb for q
time to the want of him who held her
soul in thrall: one white arm. round and
firm, crooked across her eyes. In unwit-
ting duplication Of the pose Of him who
lay asprawl and coverless in the shadow
of a plantation of pitch pines, out %
sight OF the vessels. deep in the stirless.
dreamless slumbers demanded by MIND
and body taxed to the extreme OF their
endurance.
Gradually, with the growth OF day,
life quickened aboard the ships. One by
one men showed themselves on the decks,
yawning and stretching lazily ere disa p
pearing to rout out others. Those with
the vesture Of command appeared. Halle
were exchanged across the brief divi-
sional gulf. The smoke of galleys min
gled with the smoke OF furnace fires re-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-08-06
plenished-and pungent incense of morn
ing mines tinctured air immaculate


ing pipes tinctured air immaculate.
On both vessels matches were removed
fore and aft. and cranes rugged with
heavy hosting tackles. In good time the
Orion was warped comfortably alongside
the Cynthia: thereafter to great clamor
of voices. to the jar and rattle and clank
OF winches and capstans and the husky
roaring Of donkey engines, was added a
shrill, intermittent piping of boatswains'
whistles directing the task of translaUng
cargo.
To this blaring discordance, the work
Of the day at the top of its swing. Gym
thia awakened.
For little while she tarried in her
berth. unstirring, confused. her eyes. like
child's, swimming with wonder ana
dread, oppressed by sense of waking
to a world blackened with despair and
sorrow-formless in her drowsy thoughts,
but none the less desperate
Then, the drift of dreams receding to
the urge of her questing conscience. with
renascent memory fell the blow: and
she shuddered, as though the hurt We're
mortal. and lay rigid, pale lids adroop
over the anguish in her eyes. face whiten-
ing to the hue of wax while the flush OF
slumber ebbed, hands clinched and still
upon her breasts.
at length pure instinct guided her to
seek ease of action. She slipped out OF
her berth and began to dress. moving
quickly and quietly round the stateroom:
quietly none to fend off interruption than
to escape disturbing Nine. Savaran, from
whose quarters Cynthia was but dimly
aware Of a hum of voices; quickly, as il
to make up for time lost during those
long whites when "reminiscences assailed
her passiOnately and imperatively. with
the resistless cogency of a will-destroy-
ing drug, enchanting her thoughts and
limbs alike with inertia.
Now she stood staring through the
port, fascinated by the suggestion of the
crcumscribed scene bounded by its round
brass frame: the hemicycle of rimpled
water sun-smitten. it's color an incred-
IDLE, nitid blue. like the blue of corn
flower sapphire; bisecting the disk. the
bar of the island beach, no less strange
and exotic to her eyes with it's glowing
tint of pink coralliferous sand: screen
of deep green tropical vegetation by way
of background. starred with splashes of
flower color unbelievably brilliant; the
smiling arc OF cloudless sky.
He was there: Crittenden. the man she
loved, the man who loved her. .
She knew, of course, of his escape.
Alarmed by the sounds of contention and
combat on the foredeck. she had reused
out of a daxe of wretchedness long
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-08-06
Duffy's Pure
Malt Whiskey

is the medicine you need. 1t Is
gentle, invigorating stimulant that
influences for good every important
organ of the bodT. 1t is especially
valuable to rebuild the system that
/ has become run down and weaken
cd Strengthens the digestive or
gans and bowels. brings refreshing
sleep. makes the old feel young and
the young strong and vigorous.
All druggists, grocers and dealers.
OF direct, 500 large bottle. Be
sure YOU get Duffy's and that the
seal over the cork is intact Refuse
substitutes and limitations: they are
Injurious. Send for free doctors
advice. together with medical book
let containing testimonials and rare
commonsense rules for health.
Duffy Malt whiskey Co.. Rochester. y. Y.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-08-06
RETAILERS TO ORGANIZE
ON INDEPENDENT LINES
Merchants Decide to Have
Separate Organization
From c. of c.

An organization of the retail merchants
of Washington separate and distinct
from the Chamber of Commerce. of which
the Retail Merchants Association il now
an auxiliary body, will be the final out
come of the controversy between the par
ent organization and its offspring over
the right of the retail association to ad-
NIT members who were not first MEM
bers of the chamber This decision was
reached at meeting of the board Of gov
ernors of the Retail Merchants Asso-
citation yesterday afternoon.
President Joseph Strasburger of the Re-
tail Merchants Association said today
that a meeting Of the retailers for the or
ganization of the new body would be held
in September. In the meantime work will
be done by the retailers looking to the
building up of a strong organization
\ resolution was adopted by the board
of governors for a separate organization,
but urging the present members of the
association to retain their membership in
the Chamber Of Commerce
While no definite plans have yet been
made, 1t is said that effort will be
made to rent from the Chamber Of
Commerce office space for the retail
merchants new organization. Failing
in this. adequate headquarters will be
eStdDllSneu ELSEWHERE.
To Act in Harmony.
Mr. Strasburger said that il was the
desire of the retail organization to act
always in harmony with the Chamber
OF Commerce. and the chamber will
be urged to turn over to the new or
ganization all retail matters which
may come before it,
1t is believed that doing away
with the necessity Of paying dues to
the Chamber of Commerce as well as
to the retailers association will make
it possible to bring into the association
many of the smaller retail merchants
who do not wish to incur the
added expense of the Chamber of
Commerce. The retailers association
will have sliding scale of dues, the
minimum being $40 year.
The decision OF the board of govern
ors of the Retail Merchants Associa
tiop to break away from the Chamber
of Commerce will be reported to the
board of directors Of the chamber at
that boards meeting at 6 o'clock to-
morrow night. President. Strasburger.
who is also a member of the board of
directors of the chamber. will lay the
matter before the board.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-08-06
EDUCATIONAL.
IN WASHINGTON
College of
Veterinary Medicine
George
Washington
University.

\ thorough course in all branches.
fitting the student for general prac-
tice on specialized work.
Degree of ID. V. NJ. given. which
is recognized by the American
Veterinary Medical Association and
all State Boards Of Examiners.
Evening Glasses for Day Workers.
DAVID E. BUCKINGHAM, VIVID.
DEAN,
2l13-2115 18th ST. NV.