Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-05-19

men and two women whom you -
had before, and
compelled to decipher it at once,
and to comply Immediately with the concealed demands
in the FIVE completely different cases. find yourself
out the street without your job? What would you
do? And yet, all America there young men,
and in some instances young women, who, under just
such penalty, called upon to solve the cipher in
aash-ocate its answer so to speak-every night in the
week but Sunday, and forty weeks in the year, not
counting matinees Wednesdays Saturdays, and hol-
days. Permit me- Ladies and Gentlemen, to introduce
to YOU the theater usher!
There is a popular halucnation in many sections of
our country the effect that the duty of theater
usher simply to receive the seat check from the mem
Der of prospective audience, and to exchange that
check for the chair for which its letter and number call
As matter of fact, this the sole duty of
usher than the sole duty of actor to act lust as 1t
is expected of actor that he get married every other
year. assure newspaper reporters that he played
with Mansfield spats, and call klaw and Eranger
Names so ushers duty to do exactly fourteen sep
and distinct things besides seating the audience.
His imperative duties
% To deliver cewater to everyone who wants it.
(2) To say that it has been filtered.
g. To reassert that it has been filtered.
az To swear before Heaven that it has been filtered.
90 To pass out programs without dropping them.
e. To point out the cloak, the checking, and the
smoking with the orenger of the right hand at
one and the same time.
() To know the critics seats without looking at the
checks.
s) To wear dress suit six nights in the week with
out swearing aloud.
(9) To make women remove their hats without being
called "You impudent fellow! How dare your
1O) To throw back the velvet curtains for
box party in such cautious manner that the three
years of accumulated dust and dirt thereon will not
fly off and sufocate the party before the performance
begins.
I'D To tell four nqustive persons out of every five
what time the curtain goes up, and to tell them why it
hasn't gone up yet if it hasn't.
Q2) To help look for hatpns and other
things they have dropped on the floor under their
seats and to look like crook if the lost article
not be found.
OBJ To refuse all gratuities with the air of one who
doesn't then-when his heart is really breaking.
04) To ask all members of the audience the end
seats to keep their feet coats and out OF
the aisles request standees their hats;
and pacify everyone who complains of draft by
surfing them there is draft-when he, the usher,
caught the grip only the night before from that very
draft.
OF course in an article of this Sort it would be mpos-
sible chronicle all the duties of usher; l have
contented myself with citing only the simpler ones.
Such individuals as, their way, believe that
theater usher is automaton, like any elevator
boy college professor of higher mathematics far
from being right.
The average usher-in the theaters of New York, at
least-s combination of bookkeeper, doctor, detec
tive politician, diplomat, actor, elocutionist gentle
man, bouncer peddler and guide If he is not all of
these things, he must be part of them or he will find
himself bereft of his job And the head usher must be
all the things cited and must be beau into the bargain
He must evening clothes with all the grace of
johndrew, and his must be and pol