The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-12-14

effect it had upon her system. l Occasionally she glanced at her vic tim" for encouragement, but if she found none in that lady's knitted Brow and ab- stracted gaze, she gave no sign what ever but went chattering until the Young Woman got up and left and started to the little Millner's. l Here she found the little Miliner almost as loquacious as the Stranger in the Tea Room and before she got seated she was regaled with her Tale of Woe. She began to tell about how her Sis ter's twins were i'll and that the house the family lived in was all too small. and they were going to have to move before Christmas and wasn't that awful?
 Both of the twins are blonds," she re- lated, and I'm so sorry because I never could stand blonde people-only brunettes can be relied upon to do what you expect I them to do.' 1 Then she told how brown was her favor ite color and always had been-and so on, ad museum, while the poor victim writhed and wriggled. | She was a nice little Milliner, too, but she just longed for good listener, and when she had one by the head she just could not resist unburdening her heart to her.
 T wonder what it is about me-" the Young Woman unused as she left the Manicurist's and went into the book de- partment of one of the big shops that makes every body tell me their woes. Why don't they go to a Policeman with their troubles?"
 Just at this point big, lazy looking man turned to her and said: These clerks are the stupidest people ever saw. I'm looking for a book: | don't know the name of it. but it's thick and it's got blue back, and it's about SO long and SO broad Qndicating the length and breadth of the desired vol ume). Do you happen to know the name of it?''
 This time I'm a Circulating Library" the Young Woman medtated sotto voce.
 No I don't" she snapped aloud, and then turned her back while the man ''nosed' about among the books and fin- ally with a look of triumph, picking up volume he cried proudly:
 Funny you didn't know it! Why, it's Alice in Wonderland
 There's no doubt about the Wonder land" the Young Woman silently ob- served.
 As our heroine was about to make some purchases for herself, one of her "best friends" happened along and said just as though he were remarking upon the weather:
 Please select some Christmas Gifts for Me, won't you?
 Its rather late" the Young Woman replied looking at her watch, and I'm
 
 day and I haven't accomplished a single blessed thing for myself. I seem to have spent the day listening to the troubles of other people,
 But here's the money" the man said, unheeding her warning, and taking from his wallet a bunch of crisp bank notes Tt won't take you any time to get the things. Just consult your own taste. There'1l be something for my sister, the boys can go hang I'll give them money. Just get something for her. Oh, the Young Woman sighed ana congratulated herself that she didn't have to select things for the whole er-- d. fam fly.
 T don't mind looking at the things with you" he volunteered Has 1t ever occurred to you that I have never even seen your sister," she asked.
 What difference does that make?' he
 
 other woman-the common or Garden Va riety. Young and with entirely normal tastes, but if you are going to make me supply both the money and the ideas I may as well do it myself!'
 Well, nobody asked you, Sir" she said, ito let me do it." the Young Woman quoted and handed him the Bank Notes
 Tt was only joke, Kind Lady" he pleaded. DO get something for me. l don't want the money back. I only want you to get SOMETHING for my sister. P-le-a-s-e."
 Has she a Chafing Dish?" the Young Woman asked.
 ''Im sorry to say she has. I've eaten some of the stuff she's cooked up in it." he replied.
 Has she a Kmona?" she questioned. l''I think so. I see her flying around every morning in something pink he responded.
 "A tea kettle?" she suggested
 "She makes tea every afternoon when people call, so I suppose she has," he said
 Has she an Opera Glass?" she ques- tioned.
 Best Beau gave her one last Christ mas he announced.
 T thought you said it would be EASY" the Young Woman gasped Tt would be if we could only think of something"
 How about an Opera Cloak?" came next.
 Bought one in Paris last Summer" he said.
 Something in jewelry--a bracelet, brooch, a necklace?" she advised
 T can't afford jewelry for mere sis ter" de declared. How about silver articles for her din- ing tabe?" she queried. Has a full set" he remembered, "The Young Woman was completely ex. asperated.
 Its pleasant day." the man observed | facetiously. And only nine more shopping days be- fore Christmas" the woman announced, | Well. don't let that little present for my sister interfere with your own Christi mas shopping Just get anything you hap pen to run across. She says she needs EVERYTHING" l And the Young Woman wondered more