davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05
humor Of Artemus Ward.

Some years ago the real scream in
exclamation was Artemus Ward Our
fathers we're wont to read the witt.
cisms OF this great humorist and
laugh till the tears ran down their
cheeks. AS an example OF how funny
Artemus could be when he tried, take
this extract from his letter on Jeffer-
son Davis. president Of the Confeder-
acy, alleged to have been written In
Richmond:
"Jef. Davis is not popular here,
She Is regarded as e southern sym
pathiser, & yit I'm told he was kind
to his parents. She ran away from
EN- many years ago and has never bin
back This was shown 'em a good
deal Of consideration when we reflect
what his conduck has been. Her can.
tur in female apparel c~onfooses me In
regard to his sex. & you see I speak
of him as her and as frequent as other.
wise. & l guess he feels 30 hisself.".
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05

I've got you a m~echanician, STAN
toni" he exclaimed jubilantly. Il tel
ephoned our fix to headquarters, and
Jack Rupert is coming down-the
chief tester at the factory, you know,
who used to race with the chief him
self. He 'phoned that he wouldn't see
the Mercury thrown out but to tell
you he was going to cancel his life
insurance policy first so he would not
be accused Of suicide for the benefit
of his heirs. Funny chap! He'll be
here before you go on the track
again."
What for?" demanded Stanton. "If
I kill M mechanician, | kill my car
and myself don't need two men.
and I've got one"
But l thought you said" began
the amazed Mr.. Green.
81 was wrong. Phone Rupert that
III keep Floyd. Now. I'd like to get
some rest"
The assistant manager stepped
aside from the entrance, COMPOUNDED.
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05

"Ard as 7 only arrived an hour AZ"
7 wished TO beg some information.
az am n of the men dr1Vlns'
corroborated. u.
She turned to glance at the cas-
rushing by, struggling for the ieaa'
THANK you. Can you teii
whether Ralph Stanton is now ori'iAs
the Mercury" H..
mo" he answered, interested ,oi
the first time. But he will take LILO
wheel again in half an hour"
"Ah? l have heard so u Oh us
spectacular feats, l." she gave a care
less, ripping laugh. i confess
should like to see some of them
yes? Well, half the people here
come to see whether some of the men
won't take a chance once TOO often
They say there is a pleasant thrlii III
watching some one else get killed.
Hardly that" she demurred. "StiI'
IL one comes to an automobile race
one wants to see something more ex-
citing than a drive in the park; some
thing more exciting than-that- que
waved a fragile hand toward the
track, struggling her shoulders WIN
an airy amusement and scorn.
Stanton surveyed the scene, the
darkness hiding his expression.
1.-THE Mercury is marking time with
a substitute driver. the Duplex is OH
with a choked feed-pipe, and the Stern
went through the fence" he summed
up. THE others are driving to win
by endurance, playing for accidents 10
the faster cars. 1t Is a dull PERIOD
just now. Yet every car there is 60
ing fast enough to face destruction II
anything goes wrong"
She turned to him again. and he
knew her gaze swept him interroga'
lively, searchingly. But his close
fitting linen costume offered no means
of Identification. since he purposely
kept from the light the silver letters
running across his jersey.
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05
II.
Tho Risk and the Lady.

Two hours later, Stanton emerged
from his camp and strolled toward
the paddock exit. 1t was after two
o'clock in the morning; the dark arch
Of star-set sky overhead, the black
| emptiness of the central field except
for the line of tents, contrasted oddly
with the glistening white track where
the meteor-bright cars circled t~ireless-
ly to the accompanying monotone Of
many voices, varied by the occasional
wall Of the official klaxon. One ma
chine was out of the race, after going
through the fence; a heap Of disor-
| dered metal which men were striving
frantically to restore to activity, while
In the illuminated hospital tent its
driver and mechanism were undergo
ing a kindred process of rehabilita-
ton. Other cars went in and out
from their camps, for oil, for gaso-
lene, for tires and minor repairs-for
all the countless wants Of a racing
machine. Stanton looked for the Mer-
curry, then. satisfied, crossed the track
and entered the space before the
grand-stand.
Along the edge Of the cement prom
enade we're parked a row Of automo-
biles whose owners preferred to wit
ness the race from their own cars
rather than from the tiers of seats be-
hind. Past them Stanton turned,
avoiding the fire of attention and curl
osity he would draw by crossing the
lighted space where recognition must
follow. He was going to the restau-
rant in the interior of the stand.
But as he passed a big white tour
ing a at the end Of the row a wom-
an leaned from the shadow of the top.
II beg your pardon" she sum-
moned, her tone composed and rather
imperious.
The apology yelled a command.
| Stanton halted.
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05
Banana Disease Threatens Mark,

Because Of the fact that the much
dreaded Panama banana disease"
which has devastated the banana plan
tations of Central America and the
island of Trinidad. has made its ap-
pearance in Jamaica, the chief source
of supply for American markets. a
shortage and even a dearth in the
market supply Of bananas, the most
common of tropical fruits. Is threat
ened.
Strenuous measures are being TAX
en- to prevent it's spread. The plants
in the 26 infected districts have been
cut down, treated with lime. and after
exposure to the atmosphere a while
have been covered with earth. Another
mode of precaution is that the feet Of
all persons and animals that may pass
through the plantation are to be dis
infected, so that bacteria may not be
carried to adjoining properties. No ex-
pense will be spared in fighting the
disease.
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05
A Gard to tho Club.

Old Colonel Dick Bright Of Wash.
ington was shaved for many years BY
a negro barber. who. not being blessed
with the splendid longevity of the col.
onel. finally died. Bright went to thu
funeral. and at the dinner table that
evening said he had put his visiting
card in the old BARRIERS coffin.
That's the craziest thing I aver
heard Of" remarked a friend. "Wba,
on earth did you do 1t for?"
WELL" explained. the colonel. -,
he goes to heaven. he won't need q
But, II be goes to the other place. II
will introduce him to a lot Of ROOD
fellows.-Popular Mechanics.
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05
Asparagus Toast.

Wash and cut the asparagus in half
men lengths. Bring two quarts Of
water to a boil. add one scant tea
spoon of salt and one quart of D ar
gus n boil thirty minutes or until
ender Toast several slices of bread
and melt one-half cup of fresh butter.
when the asparagus Is tender remove
from the liquor and drain. Dip the
.oas'ea bread In the asparagus soup,
.aen In the melted butter, lay in 8
oisn and spread the asparagus over it.
Aou balance of butter and serve hot
Delicious.
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05
u Gegses< zaz In A~aaayl&eRM 0sk9ss7-

h next hour passed q trife more
quietly. Perhaps even Stanton was
sufficiently tired by the strain to drive
with some conservatism; perhaps he
acknowledged mentally that no car
built would stand such viciously CRU
cling work for twenty-four consecutive
hours. But he kept the lead gained,
for all that, and a pace like the long
swoop Of a swallow.
Gar coming out of the paddock.
Hundred and eightieth lap. Car
stopped around the bend" Floyd re-
ported, at intervals. Otherwise there
was mute attention to business on the
part Of both men.
Signal" Stanton abruptly ordered,
at last, as they rushed across the
stretch Of track between the grand
stand and the training-camps.
Floyd obediently rose in his place,
raising his arms above his head in the
accepted signal to their men to stand
ready for the cars entrance. On the
next circuit Stanton turned into the
paddock and came to a stop before
the Mercury's tent
Get out" he directed, and himself
left his seat.
The two men who alternated were
| waiting to relieve the two who de-
scended from the machine. The work
men swarmed around to fill tanks and
give swift inspection, and the fretting
car sped back to the track.
Left opposite each other In the flick
ering glare Of the swinging electric
lamps, driver and mechanician stood
for a moment. weary, car-stiff, and
still tense. Stanton unclasped his
mask with a jerk, took a step toward
the tent. then turned toward his as
sistant.
"The three hours are up" he OBJ
served roughly. "a suppose you leave
me-"
why do you suppose that7 Are
you through with me?" Floyd asked.
with studied quietness.
"I made the offer to any man who
| would go for the first three hours.
The time is up; you're free to get
your money from Mr.. Green. and
leave"
Floyd took of his own mask and
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05
MEAT DISH
DOT ROAST OFFERS MOST NUTRl-
mENT AND SMALLEST WASTE.
~, IA Made of the Cheaper Cuts of
Beef With Excellent Results
Eye of Beef Is
Best Cut.

Dot roast is one of the delicious
,,oat dishes that can be made OF the
cheaper mot the cheapest) cuts OF
beef with excellent results. 1t Is a
vroot mistake to imagine hat the
.beaner cuts of meat are less nutri-
uors the fact being that these offer
Tho most of nutriment and smallest
ua ste. For example, the first ribs or
beef contain about 1876 per cent. pro
teid or body building material, and
the hindquarter 1877 per cent. OF pro-
ted material.
Perhaps 1t Is not fair to call pot
roast a cheap dish, because the prices
vary 90 widely in different localities,
and the cuts vary so much. In the VI
,initv of Providence, r. l., for exam
ole our correspondents report prices
Of 10 to is cents a pound; In Phlla-
5elphia. IA to 20 cents. and In New
York, Is to 20 cents.
In Providence they sell for pot
roast the rump IA to 16 cents), shout
Ter ~ to IA cents), and bottom
round C6 to IS cents); in Philadel-
phia and vicinity the chuck roast,
next to ribs IA cents), shoulder cut
ZIG to IS cents), and the ribs C1S to
20 cents). In New York City and the
west prices are higher and their range
Is greater. The cuts are bottom round.
top sirloin (Which is too expensive, as
a rule, and requires less cooking). top
round and brisket. 16 to % cents.
The eye of the beef is considered
the epicurean cut for pot roast This
Is a triangular piece Of meat taken
from the hindquarter between the top
and bottom round after the bone has
been removed. In the west. pot roast
Is often made by cutting vertically
through the bottom and top round (in-
side round) instead Of cutting either
the bottom or the top round Inside
round) separately, as is done in the
east. This top round or part on the
inside of the hindquarter is excep-
tionally good for pot roast.
In different localities the names of
beef cuts are entirely different. In
some places, for example, the flank is
cut so as to include more of the loin,
In which case the upper portion is
often called the flank steak. Some
times the rump is called the rump
steak; the inside round. the top
round; the plate. the rattle. Often
the cross ribs and brisket are includ-
ed together under the name of cross
ribs. the foreDart of tho crocc riha in
often called the shoulder clod and the
leg underneath the second round is
called the hind shoulder. Often, too,
the socket and rump together are call
ed simply the rump. Consequently
one must know from what part of the
beef the meat should be cut and how
1t looks. This knowledge must be &C
quired in actual marketing.-Good
housekeeping Magazine.
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05
Dreamed Salt MackereI.

ooak the fish over night and wips
ary before using. Broil on a buttered
srldiron over a clear fire. Lay on 9
not dish and pour over 1t a cream
sauce mad as follows: Into one cur
=, ooiilng water stir two teaspoonfuli
corn starch. rubbed smooth with
~ que tablespoonful Of butter; cook un
"a well thickened. Add a well beaten
ess. mixing carefully to prevent
ing: Cook a moment longer. sea
on with a teaspoonful Of chopped
parsley n a tablespoonful Of pepper.
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05
Personal Affront

Striking members Of the Amslv,
mate Skirt stitchers were holding ,
conference.
Where is that tall, thin Rirl WIN
Joined the union last week." inquired
the walking delegates.
The secretary arose to reply.
"sne handed In her resignation th,.
morning" ~
What war her reason7"
She took offenss when sh. 20,
called on to act as a picket."-Jud,.
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05
Green Peas, Spanish STYLE.

To n pint Of tender green peas
add one onion chopped fine, one green
pepper, two large tomatoes and n
tablespoon Of butter. Put butter in
saucepan with chopped onion and
pepper. Cook until onion Is tender,
but not brown. Add chopped toma-
toes; when at boiling point add peas;
Season with salt. Cook until tender.
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05

barred his white. steadfast face and
tired eyes to the Others gaze.
"a" entered for the race. or for n
much Of 1t a. you want me-" he cor
rectsd. Until you quit, or find a sub
stitute you like better, I'm With you"
They looked at each other.
go rest, then. There IL coffee in
sids," bads Stanton, and swung on his
heel.
At the entrance to his tent he was
met BY the exultant assistant mana
gor.
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05

Madam" he responded. astonished
and scarcely pleased.
She deliberately stepped down be-
side him. accompanied by the crisp
sound Of shaken silk and a drift Of
faint. rich fragrance. She wore q
dark motor-veil, and In the mingling
Of dense shadows and glazing lights It
was not possible to distinguish more
than her general effect Of youth and
well-poised grace
II fancied by your costume that you
were one Of the racers" she exnlained.
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05
Making Cocoa.

Two ta~blespoonfuls of cocoa, tive
cupfuls of milk. two tablespoonful Of
sugar. two cupfuls of boiling water
and a pinch of salt. Mix the cocoa,
sugar and salt together; add the boil
ing water gradually; when smooth,
Doll five minutes; add two cupfuls of
MIX scalded, and beat with an egg
'eater or chocolate stick until frothy.
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05

I can't understand why you v,,s
to go to the legislature. Dor, -aa
think your busineE' iii NM 0
are electedf" you
On no. You see, 1 m~anu,.c,r~
things which are needed IN ,r~",AU
Ing public oficss." 'urnish-
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1912-09-05
SYNOPSIS.

At the beginning of great automobile
noe the m~echanician OF the Mercury,
~Dtanton's machine, drops dead. Strange
youth, Jesse Floyd. volunteers. and II ac-
spted-
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1912-06-06
DON'T Wait UNTIL THE fall

We are of the opinion that if
you are expecting to attend our
school you cannot give a reason
able excuse for postponing en-
tering until Fall. We can pre-
sent sufficient proof to convince
you that the earlier you start in
TO obtain practical education,
the better it will be for you.
We have now almost as large an
attendance in the Summer as in
the Winter. We offer every in
ducement in Summer that we
offer in the Winter. Our past
records show tina. students at.
tending school in June, July and
August make as good progress
as those attending any other
three months in the year. This
is due to the fact that our school
rooms are cool and pleasant, and
that our teachers put forth the
same energy in the Summer
months as in the Winter. He
who enters now will finish in
time for a good position during
the busy Fall season.
If you have what you think
would be a reasonable excuse
for not attending school before
| Fall, let us have it, and we will
give you our side of the question
If we can show you that you can
start into 1918 with more money
and a practical education besid-
es, than you could to continue
as you are until Fall and then
attend school, will we not have
done you a favor? 1t has been
our life work solving Just such
problems as yours, and lualify-
ing young men and women to
earn three dollars where they
could not have earned one.
Write us by return mail; tell
us contidentially what is him
dering you from entering be-
fore Fall. Tyler Commercial
College, Tyler, Texas.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1912-06-06
new RAILROAD
FOR JEFFERSON

The old town was stirred from
top to bottom on account of the
ultimatum from the new railway
pointing this way from Smith
land.
From the tone of the mass
meeting held in the court house,
of the best men in Jefferson, one
would think she was destined to
regain her pastime splendor, as
an East Texas city We cannot
recall the names Of those who
held the floor. The mayor was
one Capt. beware, Capt. Todd,
Mr.. Whelan and others. DR..
Gum was the only speaker out
of town. He told how important
it was to seize the opportunity
and how easily it might be lost.
He cited instances of Leaven-
worth refusing to help the Han
nibal & ST. Joe Ry. cross the
Missouri river there and how
quick Kansas City grabbed the
chance to secure the railway by
building the $50, 600 bridge. How
Washington, Ind, lost a railway
in the same way and he could
have cited the former chance
that Jefferson had and lost it in
the case Of the II. & p. Ry. Then
he told how the Port Bolivar
men entered Longview and asked
"a bonus of so, 900 and how quick
ly the men of Longview seized
the opportunity and before night
had the $4,000 pledged which
has had great deal to do with
the great boom of Longview.
We are sorry we cannot call
the names of the chairman and
secretary of the mass meeting
and the leading speakers, but
when the call was made for ten
men to pledge the payment of
the $4,000 there were about
seventeen to respond. The en-
thusiasm was boundless. Men
like w. }. Sedberry, Rives and
others came forward and took
such interest as if the future Of
the city of Jefferson depended
on getting this road and well
they might, for it is coming from
and pointing in the right direct
ion. Three cheers for Jefferson!
May her best efforts cease not
until she gets not only this rail
way, but others and also until
she gets back her waterway Of
which she was robbed by the
government. -Longview Press,
MAY %.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1912-06-06

This great problem of the
choice of a profession demands
all the energy and all the seri-
BUSINESS Of which man is capa-
BILE. In these days virtually all
who are 20 amount to anything
in the world must be workers,
and if they are not happy in
their lifework, if they must look
for happiness outside of what
fills so large a part of their time
and thought, they are almost
doomed to misery,-President
Maclaurin of the Massachusetts
Institute of Technology, in The
Youths Companion.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1912-06-06
GREAT MASS OF PROOF

Reports Of 10000 Cases OF Kidney
Trouble, Some of them Jefferson Cases.
Each OF some 5000 newspapers of the
United States i, publishing from week
to week, names Of people in it's partic-
ulsr nelghborhood, who have used and
recommended Doan's Kidney Pills for
kidney hscsAche. weak kidneys. blad-
der troubles and urinary disorders.
This mass of proof includes over 50, 600
testimonials. Jefferson il no exception.
Here is one Of the Jefferson eases.
Mrs. \, 7. Collier. Jefferson, reIas,
says. II suffered from kidney com
plant for the past year and my back
MAS very painful. My sight blurred aud
often black specks seemed tn tioat be-
fore me. | also had diaEy spells and
headaches aud nav Kidneys we're irr.s-
ulsr IN action. When | vas advised hy
by net hbor to Try Doan's Kidney
PILE. procured a supply from The
Citizens Drug Co They improve ny
health and intend TO continue taking
them.
For sale by al dealers. Price 80 cent.
tostcr.M ilburn Co. Buffalo. New York
sole agents Tor the United States.
Remember the s-and
tab. no other.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1912-06-06
Lot Women Vote

Woman suffrage will be the
beginning of new era of reforms
in this land of crooked politians,
corrupt Judges, two faced law
yers, unprincipaled bankers,
dishonest church members, non.
practical clergy, yellow press,
and get rich-qnick gamblers.
Women are nose self sacrigcing
than men, and seldom in trouble
without a man being the cause.
The church and school would
long since have been destroyed
II woman had not supported
and encouraged them.
Philanthropy, art and reforms
Of all kinds owe their incentive
to women of superior intelli-
gence, and higher in culture and
nobler in purpose tsan men.
Men who are greatest in history
almost without exception attri-
butte their success to mother or
wife.
The home with woman is
cheerful as the man who poses
as it's king with honor to the
queen. She seldom brings dis
honor where he tries to be
square. Both occasionally
make mistakes, but the man is
more often the .hAlac as no is
usually the big receptacle for
ignorance. Men have proven a
fiat failure in everything per
tanning to government. They
are only entitled to wear the
laurel as butchers.
Give women an equal chance
with men and she will make both
men and woman better. Let
her vote and God bless her.
Monitor Magazine.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1912-06-06
ITCHING, FIERY,
RAW ECZEMA

Zemo soothes. cools and heals angry
skin and quickly cures eczema and
every form of skin disease. Zemo is q
clean liquid wash that sinks right in.
Quickly aIlays all pain, all itch, all
distress. Zemo does the work in a way
that is simply astonishing and your
druggist will refund the purchase price
if the first bottle does not give entire
satisfaction. Try one bottle at our
risk, Zemo is prepared by Z, w Rose
Medicine Co., and is sold by. the ReIall
Drug Store. 5
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1912-06-06
iiOW'S This!

We ofer One Hundred Dollars Reward for ANY
case OF Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halr,
Cstarrh Cure. +. J. CHENEY 4 co. Toledo. o.
We, the undersigned, have known +. J. Chenc,
Tor the last 10 years. aud believe him perfectly
honorahle IN All business transActiouSand lnau
cially able to carry out any obligations made hy
MS urn. WALDINo kiSsAs 4 MARVts,
Wholesale Druggists Toledo O.
Hair Catarrh Cure Ia taken internally acting
directly upon the blood aud mucous surfac oI
the system Testimonials sent free. Price Is
rents per bottle. Sold by all Druggists.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1912-06-06
Man Coughs and Breaks Ribs

After frightful coughing spell a
man In Neenah, Wise, felt terrible
pains in his side and his doctor found
two ribs had been broken. What agony
DR. Kings New Discovery would have
saved him few teaspoonsful ends
a late cough, while persistent use routs
obstinate coughs, expells stubborn
colds or heals weak, sore lungs al
feel sure it's God send to humanity,
writes Efiie Morton. Columbia Mo.
"for | believe | would have consump
ton today. II had not used this
great remedy" Its guaranteed TO sat
isfy and you can get free trial bottle
or so cents or 81 90 size at w, ]. Sed-
berry
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1912-06-06
Fell From Seanoldiny

Oklahoma City, Okla Oscar A
Anderson Of 2A0l South Walker street
fell rom scAt'old, and though con.
sldersbly sprained aud bruised, 10 able
To be about lie says Hunts Lightn-
ING CA took all the soreness away. II
= slso good Tor headaches. neuralgia.
rheumatism. All dealers eel in a5t
aud zoe bottles.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1912-06-06
\ Card

This is to certify that Foly's Honey
and Tar Compound does not contain
any OPT ates any habit forming drugs
or any ingredients that cold possibly
harm its users. On the contrary its
great healing and soothing qualities
make it re al remedy for coughs. colo
and irritations of the throat chest and
lungs. The genuine is in = yellow
package. Ask for toley's Honey anG
Tar Compound and accept no substi'
tute, At Allen Urquhari.