The Washington herald., 1912-06-01
MOTHERGANCA CARRY
DUTY TO AN EXCESS
Too Much Chaperoning Makes the
Daughter an Old Maid.
BY DOROTHY DIX.

~ 1OANoAlA 0%--e
There was once Mother who sal
down and .wept bitterly.
why these Tears?" asked her Friends
observing her Grief
"AlRsi" replied the Mother, II weer
because have a Daughter that I fear
some Masculine Creature win snatch
away from me and Marry
TT seems to u.s." replied the Friends,
that If that is all that you have TO
Worry over. you are Borrowing Trouble.
Tor our Experience teaches US that It
takes Talent and Industry to set Rid Of
a Daughter, but that Keeping one Is a
Lead Pipe Cinch that Is Dead Easy"
7 am not Unreasonable continued
the Mother. "I know that 1t Is Moth
er's Duty TO Sacrifice herself for her
Child, and I shah not object to my
Daughter marrying when she Is Thirty
i've or Forty, II she finds some one who
Is Rich, Handsome, Intelligent, ana OF
IrreproachabIe Moral Character"
A Hinge Joke.
At this her Friends gave her the Merry
Ha-ha '"To the Pines for yours" they
cried. DO you not know that every
Year there is Fresh Batch Of Squads
Strlngy Old Bird when the Market Is
full Of Young ones?"
Now, the Daughter was a Pretty and
Attractive Young Creature, and IL was
not long before a number Of Eligible
WIIliss began Sidestepping around her
Way, but every time one approached
within Telephoning Distance the Mother
handed out a Farthest North Gaze that
sent his Affection down from Fever
Heat to below Normal
The Mother was also AFFLICTED with
the Chaperon Habit, and everywhere
that Mary went Mamma was sure to
go. She followed her to Balls. where
she did the Shadow Detective Act, and
svery time a Youth would get Mary out
under the Palms and began warming up
to the Work Of describing Love in a
Harlem Flat to her, and telling her what
size Wad he drew down in his pay en-
velope, Mamma would loom up on the
Scene and drag Daughter back under
her Wing into the Ballroom.
Mother likewise considered II her
Place TO entertain Daughters Company,
and when a would-be Romeo came 70
pay an evening call she held down one
OF the Parlr Chairs. while she inquired
concerning his Habits Of Life, and Re
Iigious Views, and Regaled him with the
Latest News from the Hen Clubs.
Nor Old the Mother consider II Proper
for Young Female to attend Places OF
Amusement Alone with a Man, and so
when any one invited Daughter to go to
the Theater, or have a Feed, he found
he was up against 1t Good and Hard, and
that he had to Stake out Places for Three.
This does not Suit US" said the Youths
10 one another. for II We had wanted
Mothers Company we would have Flag
ged her down in the first place, and
while we do not mind coming across with
Lobster and Champagne for the Girl, we
do not propose to Grub Stake the Whole
Family" and thereupon they passed up
Daughter IN favor OF a Pippin who was
the only One in the Bunch.
The Chsperon idea is without doubt a
Babe Of a Theory, but Mothers Con- |
tinual Presence works out in Reality |
ike Small Pox Sign in Quarantining a |
House against Visits from the Stronger |
Sex, and so It was not long before Daugh- /
ter found that she was Side Tracked at /
/ Way Station with Nothing Doing in the |
Masculine Passenger Line. Mothers Job |
became a Sinecure because Nobody came. 4
--=8 Daughter began to get Crow Feet