davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
FRIDAY. DECEMBER 81. 1912.
WASHINGTON IN THE ABBEY.

There appears to be a iMAhoed
that in the near future a ,n~taor.n,
to Washington will be placed In West.
minister Abbey. There may seem at
first something tncongruous in hon.r
being thus paid TO the man who led
tho co!onists In their successful :e-
volt against the mother country, ana
whose skill! in warfare and pcrsis-
tence In effort lost to Britain half a
continent, IN reality. waeh!ngton'.
service 20 Great Britain was little #
any, less than his service to America.
Under whatever namc e may be
known. the spirit Of Washington was
the spirit which from the beginning
had inspired the people Of the Anglo
Saxon race in their struggles for free
dom. It was the spirit that wrested
Magma charta from John at Runny-
mede. which overthrow the feudal
system. which caused Hampden and
Cromwell to stand out stobhornly for
the rights Of the common people.
which denied the doctrine Of the d.
3Aa h1ehl W h3AiE So ldShilS 4IiSiSlOo
on by the stuarts, which drove James
a fugitive from the throne. and
which. step by step, led the common
people onward in their march toward
independence. Had Washington fall
cd the letters Of an %autocratic and die
tatorial system would have been riv-
eted on the English people for gen.
erations. washington's successful
struggle for the preservation Of the
rights Of the %colon!sts as English
9reennen. although It involved their
political separation from the mother
country. had as one Of It's results the
growth OF the spirit OF freedom in
England itself, and the En%glishman
Of today can ascrihe at least some
thing Of the democracy which he now
enjoys to the efforts Of Washington
end the determir alton Of the men
under .is command. England Of to-
day may appropriately regard Wash
tt9tcn as a friend rather than an
enemy.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
2@ @S & ! e.

A bicyclist was riding down hill
when his hat blew off. A passing
countryman picked it up and took 1t
to him as he circled around, saving
him the trouble Of getting off. IT
really must get a hat guard to keep
1t on" remarked the cyclist. as he
of without a word OF thanks.
h yokels reply was short. but ex-
One Of Philadelphia's eminent law.
yers 10 very brusque and overbearing
In manner A client came into his
Office n day and tok up about I'VE
minutes Of his time. AS he was about
10 depart he produced a ten dollar
bill from his pocket. and asked how
much the fee was.
Fifty dollars" said the impatient
lawyer.
The client demurred a little. and
did o expect to pay? Give me
what you have"
On receiving the ten dollar bill, he
turned to his negro office boy and
handed it to him, saying: This is
for you. Jim"
"Oh. / didn't know you had a part
ner." said the client as he walked out.
The clerical fox hunter is a fast
disappearing inquire. "A generation or
two ago. however, the country parson
VINO rode to hounds was by no means
a rarity. g.. W. E. Russell has a story
Ut Bishop Samuel Wilgerfore. who was
once e~ffectualiy scored on by one Of
his own clergy whom he had rebuked
Tor his addiction to fox hunting.
The bishop urged that it had 4
worldly appearance. The clergyman
replied that it was not a bit more
worldly than a bali at Blenheim Pal
ace. at which the bishop had been
present. The bishop explained that he
was staying in the house. but wa
never within three rooms Of tho dane.
ing. Oh. II 1t m to that" ra-
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
A KING AND HIS JOB.

Gossip from some Ct the European
capitals gays that King Haakon is
likely in the near future to resign the
sovereignty Of Norway. and that this
act will meet with quite general APP
proval among the people Of that
country. It appears that the king has
not made himself popular with the
people over whom he was selected to
reign. that his wife shares his unpop-
ularity, and that both lack the inter-
est in Norway n her people which
IL necessary to successful and pleasant
relations between king and people.
II the predicted abdication should
take place 1t will be interesting to
note what steps will be taken next.
When the Norwegian people decided
on the act of separation from the sis
ter Kingdom Of Sweden there war
government would assume. There
was q strong republican party in the
country, and 1t was believed for q
time that a republican form of gov
eminent would be organized. APP
rarently the time was not ripe for
such a step. Conservatism at home,
and tho we'll known desire OF other
European governments led to a con-
tinuation Of the monarchial form,
and from the royal family of Dem
mark the N~orwegians chose a king to
rule over them.
The experiment, apparently, has not
proven wholly successful. The af-
fairs Of government are conducted
smoothly. but that Is because tho king
has no real power. and is but a titled
~hgurehead. Il. after enough years
have passed to try the plan out, 1t
results in the abdication Of the king
chosen, there seems to be good rea-
son to believe that the country will
not make a second experiment along
this line, and in all probability the re-
tirement Of King Haakon. IL it oc-
ours. will be followed by the creation
Of the Norwegian republic.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
piled the clergyman. II never an,
within three fields Of the hounds"

Typographical errors are often so
arouse suspicion. Thus there was
CONSERVATION in the office Of the Chi
cago American recently. and all ex-
cuses and loud assertions on the part
OF the proof-readers awaited not.
There 1t was. in big black type. on
the frst page; Michael Farley Dead
from Hearst Disease"
who had screwed up courage to take
Mary for a ride. was carried away BY
the magic of the night.
me?" ~
Yes. OLE" she answered softly.
Ole lapsed into q silence that at
last became painful to his fancee.
ole" she said desperately, why
don't you say something"
LAY tank" Ole replied. they bans
too much said already"
Once the chodja. mending
thing in h open pit in his garden.
slipped and fell in. Nearly Drowned
in the deep water in the pit. he called
TO the pupils to bring a rope and drag
him out.
The dutiful school boys soon found
q rope and threw It down to their
master. and when he had seized 1t
began to drag him out. Only a few
feet more and he would be clear GU,
OF the pit-when. unfortunately, thor.
oughly wet as he was. he sneezed!
In an instant all his pupils dropped
the rope to clap their hands, shouting:
"Hayir Allah. Chodja:"
The poor chodja fell back down 10
the bottom Of the pit.
"Ah. It serves me right" he cried.
"I ought TO have taught these boys
lcommon sense first and then polite
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
n

\NIllCdsO ANoMSs
Some trains of thought 60 on
wheels.
Occasionally a distant relation is
entirely too close.
He is a practical humorist who
banks on his fund of humor.
Many a so-called strong-minded per-
o il merely stubborn.
The average nan Is apt to finch
when he looks back at his past.
1t may be a case Of double dealing
when a couple decide to marry.
Take care Of your pennies and
your heirs and dodge taxes on your
dollars.
Get on the other side Of the fence
when you have occasion to argue with
a mule.
To those who believe in fortune
tellers. charms. or love powders( ig-
norance is bliss.
We feel sorry for the oma who
is afraid to laugh for fear she may
fracture her complexion.
And many a mar who want to kiss
a girl against her will wouldn't want
to II she was willing.
The average small boy has a much
greater dread Of the scrubbing brush
than he has Of his mothers slipper.
There are more fool men in the
world than blind ones-which may
account for the average girls desire
to be beautiful rather than intellec.
tual.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27

Chicago News.)
Bud Hooker he sure thinks that he
is 1t,
But he amt got me beat a little bit.
Why. all there is in Bud-he brags a
For that I'd show him up as lief as
not.
We matched al pullin' hair once, one
by one,
To see who was the bravest. It was
fun
For me. But. zee you oughta seer
It fetched the tears right outa Bud
oh, say!
Bud brags about the awful hole he's
got
In one back tooth an how it aches a
lot.
Huh If ! had Just one. and that as
AS his, I wouldn't call 'em holes at
all!
More'n oncet I've beat him standin'
on our heads;
sleds.
And wadin' out in snowdrifts to our
necks-
Nor he can't train dogs like I trained
my Rex!
I'm better'n Bud is at jest everything,
Except at braggin'. Let him brag, by
jing!
Cause. by the looks 1 got from
'Phrony Hicks.
I know she's On to Buds old braggin'
tricks!
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

Il We would all advertise our goods
as lavishly as We do the faults Of
neighbours We would all be rich.
When u woman is Incorporated an
der the laws Of M%atri!nony her figure
always becomes overcap!talized.
All newly married men tel! their
wives all they know. But It doesn't
last long.
A mar often thinks a woman has a
cinch because she doesn't have to
shave. But a man doesn't have to
comb out his switches four times q
day and rearranee his puffs and wor-
ry with his scolding locks.
You can get used to anything. Some
men celebrate their golden weddings
and are able to smile.
I know a lot Of n~ine-cylinder liars,
hu, the biggest one Of the lot Is tho
guy who looks as though he had
washed his face in cigar ashes and
tells you he likes to get up at s
o'clock in the morning.
When a man and a maid drink
more than Is good for them the man
cannot explain his steady walk. but
the maid a always blame It on the
hobble.
A woman Is a natural diplomat. She
doesn't knock her husband when he
dies. She merely places on his tomb
stone the inscription: Gone to His
Reward" and lets YOU do the picking.
Carrie Chapman Gait asks women
to e breeches. Carried in dan
ger Of being considered old-fashioned.
If a man wants to discover what a
big boob he is. let him go shopping
with his wife just nee.
Every man hates a mushy girl. The
only things he values highly are the
ones he has to fight for.
When a woman sees another woman
whom she dislikes she will sniff. And
that sniff expresses more than all the
profanity ever invented by all the
males on the Seven Seas.
1t Is hard to get rid Of a habit.
Some Of the girls have discarded the
hobble and are wearing wider skirts.
but I notice hat the same old crease
In the rear and the trouser effect are
still ~clinpinY.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27

@ from all restraint and took emil
grant rates for Cheyenne, Wyo. Here
he engaged board at the Inter-Ocean
MOTEL. and began to Loo about him for
a position in tho bank. Not succeed
ing in this. he tried the law and Jour-
nalfsm. lie did not succeed in getting
as associate editor and janitor Of tho
Laramie Sentinel. The salary was
small. but his latitude great. and he
was permitted to write anything that
he thought would please the people.
whether 1t was news or not.
By and by he had won every heart
by his gentle. patient poverty and his
delightful parsimony with regard to
an order on a restaurant which ad.
Vertiscd In the paper, he scarcely car
ed tho livelong day whether school
kept or not.
Thus he rose to justice of the peace.
INC finally to an income which is re.
ported Very large to everybody but
the assessor.
He. is the father of several beauti.
full children by his first wife, who is
stu living. Il Is a Chicago girl and
ioves her husband far moro than he
deserves. lie is pleasant to the OUT
SIDE world, but a perfect brute in his
nome. He early learned that, in or
uet ~ WIN the love OF his wife. he
should be cratic and kick the stove
over on the children when he came
home. He therefore asserts himself
IN this way. and the family love and
respect him. being awed by his great
ness and gentle barbarism.
lie eats plain food with both hands.
conversing all the time pleasantly with
anyone who may be visiting at the
house. If his children do not be-
have he kicks them from beneath the
table till they roar with pain, as he
chats on with the guests with a bright
ana everhoWing stream Of bon mots.
which please and delight those who
visit him to that degree that they al
most forget that they have hardly
anything to eat.
In conclusion. Mr.. Nyc is in every
respect a lovely character. He feared
that injustice might be done him.
however, In this biographical sketch.
SO he has written It himself.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
BILL NYE v
OPINION OF e L
> Some Facts and Near Facts i'm
the Hulnoe1st.s Life.

$3.50 x X x * *
From "Kings Of the Platform and
Pulpit" Edgar Wilson Nye was born
Maine. in 1850. August :5. but at .
years Of f. he took his parents by
the hand and. telling them that Pts
essaquis county was no place for
them, ne bodily struck out for ST.
Croix. Wis, where the hardy Young
pioneer soon made a home for his par
ents. The first year he drove the In.
dlans out of the st. Croix valley and
suggested to the Northwestern rail-
road that 1t would be q good idea to
build to st. Paul as soon as the COM
pany could get a grant which would
pay them two or three times the cost
OF construction. The following year
ne adopted trousers and made SITS
from the sale Of wolf scalps. He also
cleared twenty-seven acres Of land
and raised some Waterlnelons. In
1854 he established and endowed a
district school in Pleasant Valley. It
was at this time that he began to turn
his attention to the abolition Of slav-
cry in the south and to write articles
for the press. signed "Veritas." in
or as soon as the government could
get around to 1t.
In 1855 he graduated from the farm
and began the study of law. He did
not advance very rapidly in his pro-
fession. falling several times in his
examination, and giving bonds for his
at the next term of court.
He was. however. a close student of
political economy. and studied person.
al economy at the same time. till he
found that he could live on ten cents
day and his relatives easily.
Mr.. Nye now began to look about
him for a new country to build up
and foster. and. as Wisconsin had
grown to be SO thickly settled in the
neighbors were frequently found as
az five miles apart. he broke
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
KANSAS proNEE DEAD.

Leavenworth. Kan. Dec 27.-Nrs.
Mary Ann Robinson. a pioneer Of this
country, who had many thrilling ex-
periences during the early history Of
Kansas. died here today. aged 7S
years.
tIer husband. who was an abolition
list, was once captured by a band Of
pro-slavery men. who attempted to
hang him in his own yard. Just as
the moose was slipped over his head,
Mrs. Robinson covered his captors
with a shotgun and demanded that her
husband be released. The demand was
granted. and the men also obeyed her
order to get of the premises.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
Tempest and Sunshine.
DIAMOND CUT FROM FLESH.

San Bernardino. Cal. Dec. 27.-A
man who gave his name as Hitchcock
had a diamond Weighing a carat and
a half cut out of the flesh OF his arm
yesterday. He declared that the gem
had been sewed in his flesh in South
Africa. Hitchcock asked the surgeon
to do the Job In a hurry as. he want.
ed to give the diamond to his wife for
Christmas.
Hitchcock refused to give any de-
tails as to his reaso for having the
gem Embedded in his flesh.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27

The days have begun to iensthen
but the nights are still long enough
20 give the footpads and the burglars
plenty of time to ply their trade. And
some of them don't even aeed dark
ness.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
ries Of disasters transfers the innocent
girl of the woods into the splendid |

ries Of disasters transfers the innocent
girl of the woods into the splendid
household where st. Elmo's word Is
law.
She fell in love with him and re-
manned true to her great affection
through countless temptations. st.
Elmo fights against his growing fond
In every conceivable manner. He
plunges her into desperate
straits. but could not escape the girls
steady influence for good.
A more powerful series Of situations
than is presented by the play cannot
be easily imagined. 1t provides the
and w kind Of : problem play-clean
1t will be seen at the Metropolitan
for both the matinee and evenir~ per-
Torrance. Saturday. December Is.
Charles Muzer and Helen Amelia
Reed head a capable company.
Tempest and Sunshine.
Mary J. Holmes most successful
novel Will be seer at the Metropolitan
theater in its dramatic form on We'd
nesday. New Years day, for two per-
formances. The dramatization was
made by Lem e. Parker who has won
quite a wide reputation for dramatic
work. In many instances It takes u
more clever dramatist to stage a popu-
lar novel than 1t does to produce an
entirely new play as the public who
have read the novel have often form
ed ideas OF their own and the drama
tist has TO IMAGINE what would most
likely be the standpoint Of the average
reader and that MIR. Parker has taken
the popular standpoint will be seen
on Wednesday afternoon and evening
when the Earl ]. harrington company
will present the plaY here.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27

1t has remained for Turkey to find
a sure means Of stopping warfare.
That is to quit fighting.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27

Will Mr.. Taft take a chair at Yale.
or will there be a new one. made to
order:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
WHAT THEY SAY
Bring Congressional Investigators.
(Indianapolis News.)

(InQlandpOIIS News
II, as Mr.. Morgan asserts. voting
trusts don't bring enormous control
and concentration Of money and busi-
ness in a few hands. what do they
bring?
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27

Chicago News.)
Dr.. Taft's dissolution pills are grand
little tones.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
Doesn't Scare Worth a Cen,

(COlumbia stated
Evidently the president.elect isn't
feeling panicky.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27

We do not ~undervalue the other ma
tons, still We think that as a general
thing the girl With a rosebud mouth
is an American beauty.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27

About the best way for a girl to be
certain that she is in love with a mar
is for him to be ~hald-headed and her
think he is a highbrow.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27

Is Rajah in the Morgan Class?
(St. Louis Republic.)
Roger Bresnahan has declined an
offer of $1,000 a week to appear in
vaudeville.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
MODEST WORTH.

DuC NO SCUrCcF IIdn TeHCc.
Nobel peace prizes are rather scarce
this year.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27

The woman with n pac. has been
dealt with on the stage. 1t has been
2 favorite subject for the playwrights
for years with more or less disagree
able effect. St. Elmo is different. In
this great production a man with n
past Is portrayed. His redemption at
the hands Of one Of the daintiest and
sweetest hero:nes aver conceived
makes a production that loses none
of the mastery ~forcefulness Of the
original novel. still 1t leaves the spec
'ator with II feeling that he is better
for having witnessed such a perform
ancc.
Following closely the lines of Au-
susta ]. Evans Wilson's successful
novel, the drarnatized version by
Grace Hayward, presents a little wild
flower girl who hears the first UNI
kind words Of her life from the lips
OF st. Elmo the misantrhope. A Sc
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
ADJUSTMENTS
David Wartield Tonight.

David Wartield's Overwhelming
popularity with the American public
Is the more remarkable when it is
realized that he appeals with equal
strength to every class. He is a pow
erful matinee favorite, but men adj
mire him with equal enthusiasm. He
satisfies equally the patron of the most
expensive orchestra seats and those
whose purses permit only the price of
the gallery. Everybody loves War
Held, and this strange and loyal re.
gard a million playgoers hold toward
n whom practically very few have
met Is without doubt the greatest tri-
quite to his genius. In The Return Of
Peter Grimm his art and personality
are given the fullest scope, and he is
reported to have scored a triumph
no less remarkable. if of another kind.
than as tn. old musician. This is the
play written for him by David 3elas.
co. and the engagement at the Metro
oolitan tonight will be the last in this
city for Il number of seasons, as Mr..
Heiasco has very ambitious plans on
loot for his favorite star which will
keep him in the large cities in the
east and Europe for some time.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
They Are All From Missouri.

Baltimore American.)
Many a laborer is happier than Nor
gan with all his wealth-although
few Of them could be convinced Of II.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
Nothing to it But j. I
(Ralfimnro Sun
The Trusts Cry For En-.

If Mr.. Morgan says there is no mon
ey trust, Mr.. Morgan ought to know.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27

Having experienced several neglect
ed Christmases. We shall not be sur
prised II Santa Claus ties a knot in
our stocking and let's it go at that.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27
TIPS FROM TEXAS.

Furthermore, 1t might just as we'll
be admitted that the sort Of man who
looks out for his own Christmas pres
ent Is more likely to get n
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27

There are some who can violate the
law and escape unscathed. but there
are one who can violate decency and
not be penalized.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-27

REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
New York Press.)
Nobody has such poor Judgment as
to call an heiress an old maid.
A sure way for a man to have to
earn his salary ia to marry 1t.
One thing that makes government
such q grand success is how a man
a talk about his political principles
all year and not vote for them cleo
ton day.
A girl can want to marry any man
II she only gets enough warnings from
her family against him.
When a woman can get 10 cents a
week u Of her husband it's a sign
she will pretend it's $40 a day.