davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-09-13
Humorous department.

The Wrong Bump.-The learned pro-
fessor was giving his public lectures on
phrenology, and for the purposes OF
demonstration he invited a boy to the
platform says the New York Ameri-
can. After a critical examination of
the lads Uranium, he turned to the au-
dience:
Ladies' and gentlemen" he said.
"the protuberance on this little boys
head is remarkably we'll developed. 1t
is the bump of philo-progenititiveness.
In the present case it proves that the
boy has an extraordinary love for his
parents. addressing the boy): Isn't
that true, johnny"
Johnny hesitated a moment, then
said:
well, I get along pretty we'll with
the old lady, but the old man amt such
a much"
why, how is that, my boy?" asked
the professor.
well, if yuh want me ter let 1t out
the bump yer blowin' about Is where
pop hit me yesterday wit belt
buckle"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-09-13
Domestic combat.-E. Trowbridg

Domestic Combat.-E. Trowbridge
Dana, grandson of the poet Longfellow
who was recently married il Cam
bridge with a beautiful ritual of his
own composition, said the other day to
a reporter:
IF all couples gave to marriage the
profound thought and reverence that
my wife and I gave to it there would
be fewer missmatings.
"The average married pair, it some
times seem to me, are like the Binkses.
PA said little Tommy Binks one
day, what's a weapon?'
"a weapon, my son. Binks answer
ed, is something to fight with
Then, pa said little Tommy, is
ma your weapon?' denver Times.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-09-13
M. B. AGENTS

made my first contract as agent
for the MUTUAL BENEFIT LIFE IN
SURANCE COMPANY more than
thirteen years ago, and during my
connection with the Company have
had the pleasure Of writing the appli-
cations Of scores Of the best citizens
in this section Of the state for insur-
ance-some having applied for and
obtained as many as four or five poli-
cies on different dates-and II Is graf
flying to me to be able to state that
during my entire connection with the
company I have not had q single pol
icy holder who has so much as init
mated that he was not entirely salts
fed. 1T Is fact that many of them are
Mutual Benefit Agent today. They
do not carry a rate book, but they
never fail, when they find a friend or
acquaintance who is considering life
insurance, to advise them outright to
take 1t in the Mutual Benefit, or before
signing an application to see SAM
GRIST. There is a reason, and 1t Is
that they know, by experience, that
there is none better and they do not
want their friends to make the mis-
take Of not getting the BEST, espe-
cially when 1t does not cost any more,
II as much, as the other kind. II no
friend has advised you to investigate
the MUTUAL BENEFIT, you will act
wisely II you do so anyway.
SAM M. GRIST,
Special Agent.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-09-13

The Going Of UIysses.-A Kansas
City man said he always preferred red
headed office boys to any other kind,
as he had found them to be usually sa-
gacious and alert; but he discovered
recently that some Of them are too
much so. One day returning from
short out Of town trip he went to his
office and mentioned interrogatively
that Ulysses, his promising assistant,
was nowhere in sight, and the steno-
grapher replied that he had not shown
up.
Lifting up the last mail on his desk
he found a note addressed to him in a
very familiar, broad, vertical hand
writing.
Dear Mr.. Cross" he read, please
accept my resignation to take effect
yesterday. got a better place with
less work and more pay. Respective
ly, Ulysses S. G. Parker. City
Star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-09-13

What He Had to Say.-"Well, pris-
oner," said the justice, you have been
found guilty by the jury, and properly
so on the evidence. The law says that
you may be sentenced at hard labor for
twenty years, but before passing SEN
tence upon you shall be glad to hear
anything you may wish to say"
Il haven't anythin' to say, judge" "
said the prisoner, except that I hope
your honor will remember that there's a
CROWN feelin' in favor Of single term
six years. You might also bear in
mind that I've already served two
terms and there's a decided prejudice
among thinkin' people agains a
third
Twenty seven years." roared the
judge,-Judge.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-09-13
If You Are Particular

About the Furniture that goes into
your home, we want you to come and
see the new lines Of House Furnishings
that we are now showing.
Within the past few days we have
received large shipments OF
IRON BEDS
Which everywhere are rapidly push
ing the wooden bedsteads of the map.
The Iron Beds are neater and are more
easily taken care Of. We have an ele-
CANT line Of Iron and Metal Beds In the
newest styles and would be pleased to
show you what q good bed you can
buy for just little money.
SIDE BOARDS
Among our new arrivals Is q new as
sortment Of Side Boards. Every home
needs q Side Board and II you want
the best in style and quality for your
money. we have It. Come and let US
show you.
EXTENSION TABLES.
No dining room IL quite complete
unless II has an Extension Table. We
are showing q new line Of these-a va
riety Of styles and at pleasing prices
Come and let us show you how little
money will buy an elegant Extension
Table II you buy It here.
YORK FURNITURE CO.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-09-13

Short of Men.-Two Irishmen died,
so the story ran. One went to heaven
and the other didn't. Mike called down
to Pat:
What ARE yez doin', Pat?"
"Shovelin' COAL
ARE yez working hard?"
Not very. We has shifts an work
only three hours a day. What ARE yez
doin' up there in hivin?'
"Oi'm sweepin the golden stairs"
ARE yez workin' hard?"
"Yis. OF hov to work. eighteen hours
a day. We're short of men up here!"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-09-13

Beyond Pleasure.-The young attor-
ney was handling his first case before
a jury and in its presentation was
employing all the odd bits Of informa-
tion acquired during his college course
that would even remotely apply to a
statement of his case. The judge at
last grew weary and impatient. at
which the lawyer bridled and said:
rs it the pleasure of the court that
1 should proceed?"
Pleasure, sir" replied the court,
has been out of the question for a
long time past, but you may proceed"
New York Tribune.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-09-13

First Financial Center-The Bank of
Venice, established in 1857, was the A.
nancial centre Of the world; and when
the Revival of Letters came, followed
almost Immediately by the invention
of printing, it was Venice that led
the world in the output Of books and
the spread of intelligence.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-09-13
For ChillS--

If there is any disease that will
make a person feel more trifling than
malaria we haven't heard Of 1t, and
It is something that Is entirely unnec-
essary for ay one to suffer from for
very long at a time. We have num-
ber Of almost. infallible malaria reme-
dies. Come and let US tell you about
them. For instance:
York Drug Stores Chill Tablets are
put up in a convenient form and In
most cases will bring quick relief.
Then too, we have number Of
Chill Tonics that are most highly rec
commended by many local people as
certain and satisfactory remedies that
bring quick relief. And then we have
OSGOOD'S INDIA CHOLAGOGUE-
A remedy for chills that Is almost
infallible. It has been on the market
for nearly three-quarters Of centu-
ry and 1t has relieved malaria suffer-
ers by thousands. Try 1t.
YORK DRUG STORE
THE RExALL STORE
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-09-13

Eternal Fitness of Things.-It is
pretty generally agreed that a man
should dress according to his station.
This means, perhaps. that man with
a low salary should not wear high
hat.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-09-13
Flour Troubles Over

II you have troubles with your bak-
a Sac!, Of PERFECTION FLOUR,
and your baking troubles will be over.
There will be no more fussing with
the cook as to what's the matter with
the biscuit or the light bread. Try
a sack of PERFECTION and you will
be delighted with 1t, and your cook
will get in a good humor and stay
that way while the PERFECTION
Flour lasts.
Let us send you a sack of PERFEC-
TION. II 1t Is not what we claim
for 1t, phone us and we1l glady send
for II. Try II Today.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-09-13

SEED RYE-n you expect to sow q
few acres Of Rye, see us for the best
SEED RYE. We have it and will
be pleased to supply you.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-09-13
: THE RExALL STORE .

HICKORY GROVE REALTY co.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13
BANK ACCEPTNNCEs.

New York banks make enormous
loans to the stock market because
there is no other large market I'm
which they may use the funds that
pour into New Yorl, from all over tho
country The New York bankers
would gladly cut down their loans 10
spcculators II there could De provid-
ed a broad field for short-timc COM
morcml Investments. Since the de-
posts Of a commercial bank are pay
able ON demand, a bank must keep
the mass " its Investments liquid FOR
This reason New York banks now loan
hundreds OF millions to Wall street,
because these loans are largely paya-
blc on demand.
Tho bank acceptance I'm Europe
takes the place of our stock exchange
loan. our laws prohibit acccptanccs
by national banks. The proposed re-
form of our banking laws make ac-
coptanccs legal The proposed reform
of our banking laws makes accept
anccs legal. The introduction of the
use Of acccptanccs I'm this country
would not only greatly restrict the
present dangerous practice OF loaning
reserve money of country banks in
wall street. but II would promote the
industry and trade OF the country 10y
lowering interest rates aud broaden
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13
TuE ROAD LAW KNOCKED OUT.

The supreme court decision knock
Ing out the road laN of the state Of
Oklahoma under which bonds for
road improvements can be voted, is
La disaster, II means that the six
hundred thousand dollars worth of
bonds voted by Tulsa county for per
mancut road building can not be dis
posed of and that the people in 9TH
cr counties of the state will have to
wait the action of another session of
the legislature before the necessary
steps can be taken towards building
up a permanent road system IN this
state. Next to the section Of the con-
sumtlon relating to railroads which
has hampercd and delayed railroad
work in this state, the defeat Of the
road law is one of the greatest calam-
flies that has ovcrtakcn this state. No
community can grow and develop as
Ii should without good highways and
railroads. one is as essential and
necessary as the Other. They so side
by side. Where there are railroads
and good hirhWays there is progress,
Development Improvement better
towns, high state of advancement
in the country and a greater degree
Of prosperity in the cities.
II is now up to the people to lay
pl9ns for the passage of road bill
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13
WALL STREET AND ROOSEVELT

The announcement I'm the Wall
street Journal that the moncyod i'm
terests Of the country have turned TO
Roosevelt as their one best bet has
been causing considerable ungasine-s
among the opponents of the South
African jungle explorer. There may
be some truth in this report and again
there may not be. Next to the colonel
the Wall street crowd is the crook
eldest bunch politically in the coun-
try. what they say for publication
is not always correct statement OF
their wishes and desires; but the fact
remains that some OF the worst indi-
viduals on the street have been sup
porting the colonel all through this
contest, which gives color to the
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13
"Gcc ! woodcr vhora in lhIa Darre?"


goods 0"lN'I d promise TO pay F"
hhnh-fualanlecd hiiI WhIch hc can
Immediately sen va lhe discount mar
ket
This is the security In which the
great banks Of Europe invest large
part of their funds, instead Of IN stock
exchange loans as our banks are com
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13
EIGHT YAQUIS KILLED IN At
TACK ON TRAIN.
Members of the Train Crew Succeeded
in Rcpulsing Attack of Bandit
Indians.

TUSCON, Ar2, June Flight
Naqui Indians were killed and many
injured today in battle between a
band of $50 of their tribe and the
crew Of a work train of the Southern
Pacific Of Mexico between Limones
and Potrerl, Sonora.
j. Jackson, the conductor Of the
train, and members of his crew re-
pulsed the Yaquis and though many
of the Indians bullets found lodge
ment in the train, mont of the train
men were injured.
In retroatinG the Yaquis cut the
telegraph lines and burned the bridges.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13
THE DORE Family IS
sure OF Winning
NESTNILLE OKLAHOMA COUPLE
WILL WIN UNLESS \ DARK
HORSE APPEARS.

CHICAGO, June 12.--Patrick Dore
and his WIFE Of Westville, Okla, ar
rived last night the former prepared
to do battle in the interest of Theo-
dure Roosevelt and Mrs Dore to sup
port President Taft.
Dorc was postmaster of Westville
uuul Colonel Roosevelt tossed his hat
in the ring. Then Dore resigned
Mrs Dore remained a supporter Of
Taft and was appointed to her hus-
bands place.
Dorc came decorated with a large
Roosevelt button and Mrs. Dore wears
one Of nearly as large proportions Of
the Taft variety. They agreed before
leaving homo not to argue politics
with each other.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13
r Tnms Is NOrN nIRrmnNN.

BE prepared for small troubles ana
keep stcadfast course through those
thnt come. not being turned aside by
the advice Of others. unless You arc
sure of their sincerity You viii he
tempted to spend your time and
money for useless things.
Those born today viii have lovohlo
but not serious natures, They will ho
fond OF dress and social ummphs and
win sacrifice other Interests to these
things.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13

Dimonds are found on its hundred
and hundred of miles Of paved walks
and streets There is nothing found
better than Dimond You will
make your feet glad if you wear Dia-
monds. The sale starts with White
Shoes as low as so cents: $2.44 for
the $500 White Buckskin Dimonds.
Fourteen styles Of white shoes for
ladies. IA cents starts the babies
shoes. Why not save days work,
buy your shoes here?
$4,000 stock Of shoes Store 294
feet long. Goods we'll bought are half
sold. 1,400 pair Peter Dimond sam.
plies, $1.14, worth $500, sizes up to
IA, Don't miss this sale. If more
people would learn of the low prices
on high grade Dimond Shoes they
would all wear Dmond. Get the
habit, wear Dimond Brand Shoes.
They need no guarantee. Peter
Dimond's name is there.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13
WITH THE POLITICIANS

Okphoma's contingent 10 represent
the state, both for Roosevelt and TAFT
before the national convention VIII
leave Tulsa tomorrow afternoon on
the Frisco special train. Many Of
the leaders are already In Chicago but
the delegates and sightseers viii leave
tomorrow.
OKLAHOMA CITY, June 12.-C. N.
Haskell former governor, has evi-
dontly been doing some advertising
According TO a suit filed In the SUI
perior court, the Daily Ok'ahoman
wants TO collect $3.50 from that in
dvidual, II Is alleged that the debt
was contracted September 20. 1911,
and consisted Of advertising space In
the Oklahoman. The bin filed with
the petition shows the account 10 be
Of two items. one for S70.50 and the
other $1795O. Both advertisements
were run on the front page.
USKOGEE, juno Ed Perry
]. q. Disney A, A. Davidson and the
other Oklahoma Roosevelt boosters
are TO have some strong opposition in
Chicago for the Taft people have also
sent word for a meeting of their forces
IN the Windy city prior TO the con-
vention md the advance guard Is now
on the way A dozen or more tele-
grams were received here Monday
from Chairman Mckinley and Secre-
tarv Iillcs by the Taft leaders and
they were advised TO arrange for a
counter demonstration. state Chair
man James Harris passed the word
around Monday night and this after
noon he left for Chicago. He was
preceded 10y Marshal Grant Victor and
Chas. Ruuvan will follow on Thurs
day. The Taft people will insist upon
the seating Of the two delegates from
the third oklahoma district and these
with the two from the fourth district
viii make the oklahoma count stand
four for Taft and 1G for Roosevelt
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13
Want. Paw for Farm Implcmcnts

The Hiugman Plow company yes
tcrdly filed suit in the superior court
against r. j.. Deer FOR $3.50 alleged
to be due on the purchase of farm inn
plements.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13

Railroad officials have asked the gov
ernor of Sonora for permission to
send out pilot train to fight the
Yaquis.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13
RHEUMATISM AND ECZEMA,
SKIN DISEASES AND

cured by the Radium Water treatment and
baths at Claremore, Okla, the leading health
resort of the southwest, famous for these
magical waters. Your absolute cure at mod.
crate cost. Your cure will be the best ties.
timonial For descriptive booklet address
Commercial club Station A. Claremore,
0kla
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13

When opals are first taken from
the mino they are SO soft that they
can be picked to pieces with the fin.
ger nail
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13

Conn Linn hereby announces his candi.
dScy for ,ho Office OF County Judge Of
Tulsa County subject to the win Of the
democratic voters in the Angus, primary
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1912-06-13
POLITICAL ANNOUNCEMENTS

Ralsa +, Morley hereby announces his
candidacy for Oh, office Of county judge Of
Tulsa county subject TO the viii Of the
democratic voters at the August primary
Bisbee daily review., 1912-09-29
News Forecast of Week
Events of Importance Anticipated
in oil Parts of the Country

WASHINGTON Interesting developments expected
b.
William
Nathan B. Virginia
he o be dem
November.
woodrow Wilson scheduled address the Good Roads
Atlantic Monday will on
second campaign tour the We viii speak before the National
Omaha Saturday night will fnihm in Lincoln Nebraska where he
wlfoloW
World who
during textile
d. ..-.
I Lab
affiliated with
McAiang
r brothe for he Los Ange
of
Study Peaga,
Indianapolis
c a. Chicago.
Military United Baltimore
Bisbee daily review., 1912-09-29

is in the city as a witness in the
Cunningham-Costello case.
Postmaster Taylor. of Webb, called
10 this city as n juror, was summoned
home by the Illness of his wife
Mrs. H. Cook, mother OF Mrs. HaE
ry Evenes. arrived last week from
Colorado Springs, Colorado. She win
make an extended visit with her
daughter.
Thomas Grady, formerly of Bisbee.
now an oil man of California, is a
witness in the Cunningham Costello
case.
The early resumption of the Christ
mas and Imperial mines is reported,
and the rumor of the reviying of all
the company properties may have
some foundation, although nothing de-
finite has been announced.
Mrs. Hughes, who returned from a
trip in California, visiting Los Ange-
les, San Diego and San Francisco, and
has been visiting her daughter in this
city, returned 70 Bisbee last Satur.
day
Judge Suffer has gone to Nogales.
where he will hold court for several
days and pass upon cases for Judge
Duffy. in which he is disqualified to
act.
Miss Julia Rockfellow OF this city,
and Miss Esther Curry of Douglas.
who has been visiting Mrs. Rockfel-
low, have gone TO Tucson. where
thew will enter the University OF Ari-
zona.
The case of Yeager VS.. IJanders. in
which water rights on the Babacomari
are involved. has been submitted, and
decision will be rendered in No
vember. when briefs are to be filed
on both sides
Mrs. F. NJ. Doan has returned from
Douglas. after a short visit. Mrs.
Doan gave a dinner party last Tues-
day evening in honor Of Mrs. p. Cum
ningham and Mrs. John Gleason, who
are old-time friends.
Mrs Frances Abel and Miss Helen
and Norman Abel, have returned
from Encinitas, San Diego county.
whore they spent their summer vaca-
ton with relatives.
President William Holmes, OF the
| Leadville Mining company at Court
| land. was a city visitor last week.
| He saws they are ready to begin ship
withstoOd the operation She Is nine
years OF aga.
| William wallace returned to Chi
huahua. Mex, last week 10 resume
! his duties as manager of the la
Princessa Mining company. Untn the
Bisbee daily review., 1912-09-29
ROCKEFELLER IS
TRUST VICTIM
Italians Raised Reptiles and
Disposed of Skins to
Millionaire at Good
Price
THRIFTY SICILIANS

NEW YORK. Sept 2S:-The gene--
al belief that Il would take a pretty
shrewd citizen to separate John d.
Rockefeller from any part Of his
wealth under false pretense received
a severe Jolt yesterday. John d., II
became known, has been buncoed out
Of several hundred dollars by a little
group OF hiS own laborers. This is
how il happened;
Mr.. Rockefeller is very much afraid
OF snakes. He'd walk a mile to get
out of the way of the most harmless
sort of wrigglcr.
When he bought his 5000 acres OF
land in the Pocantieo hills he dis
covered, TO his great distress that
place called BTttermilk Hill was fair
~ alive with reptiles Knowing that
he wouldn't dare walk there until
they were cleaned out he offered
standing reward of % cents for every
snake skin that an employe should
bring to the superintendent quart
ers
The thrifty Sicilians set to work
with clubs and tefore long snake
skins were being turned in by the
hundreds every few days and shiny
Rockefeller quarters were passing
out in like numbers. There was a
sort of monopoly of the business, con-
trolled by half dozen experts in
the art OF finding and clubbing the
Objectionable denizens of Buttermilk
Hill, and this snake trust gathered
in several thousand OF the 25-cent
boupties by the time the reptiles
turned in for last winters slesta.
When snake time arrived this
spring the trust got busy again.
More hundreds OF skins were turned
in. But the business fell off grad
ually and the last time John ID.
walked over ButtermilS Hill he didn't
see a single wriggling form to scare
him
Recently. however, the Italians be
gan showing up again at Superin-
tendent Briggs office with snake
skins by the score. That seemed
strange. II there were no snakes to
breed in the spring. where did these
fall victims come FROM
The sTperintendent. after puzzling
for a while, had some of the snake
trust members followed. His tratlers
found that the Italians were spend
Bisbee daily review., 1912-09-29

ing their Sundays. holidays and noon
hours securing the surrounding coun-
try for snakes. Some they killed.
Others they took home and enconr,
aged to raise large families.
Probably a thousand immature rep
tiles being nurtured by the Italians
to grow up for the club-and the
guarter-were found near tho bounty
Chalmers home.
The trust was dissolved right there
but. unlike other dissolved trusts, its
component parts will not continue in
the same businessmen at Pocantico
Hills, they won't
Bisbee daily review., 1912-09-29
SWEATER FOR PRESIDENT

MAIDEN, Mass. Sept 2S:-A visit
from President Taft brought Nal.
denis trade carnival week celebration
to a climax Friday. After reviewing
the trades parade the president Wis
tied the exposition of Malden-made
products AS a memento of the &C.
casion be was presented with navy
blue sweater made of the finest
lambs wool The sweater is size
81 and the largest garment ever
manufactured at the local factory.