The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1912-06-18

At ten p. m. mamma ID read
Y, capable, to jump In bed.
To see her at that time Of night
You'd cry. "Oh. isn't she a sight
Enveloped in that BIG nightie7'
Chicago Tribune
Something Reliable.
sour new servant GIRL" complained
the mere man, has had breakfast late
every day this week. Can't you do
something to get her up on timer"
"Well, you might buy her an alarm
clock" suggested the woman.
"An alarm clock Is uncertain. Il
sometimes fails to go OF ut in the
morning. Why don't you lend her the
baby T'-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
AZ You and !.
A fool there was. and he went away
Gwen as you and -.
He took an outing and swore he'd stay
Gwen as you and y.
But the beds were hard. and the grub
was tough,
The climate rotten, the boarders rough.
And In one week he had had enough
Gwen as you and u.
Los Angeles ExpresA
How, lndeed7
The Beggar-Pity poor blind man
wiv large family, lidy.
The Sympathetic Soul-And how
many children have you, my poor
man?
The Beggar (nonpulsed)- ma am.
how should l know when can't see
'em?-Sketch.
Persian Echoes.
tBy an ex-member of the Omar Khayyam
club.l
There once was a party called Shuster,
Who crowed at the Russ like rooster.
When they said. I'VE are sick
OF this doode-doo trick,"
He replied. II shall stop when choose
ter"
No Difference.
Greener-How do these new auto
matte telephones work?
Slicker-Well. suppose you call Main
4043. You will get Main 2179.
Greener-Why, that's just the same
rs the present system.
neutrality-suspicious. EnQuir-
er.
Saints and Satan.
THE PARSON.
And Satan trembles when he sees
The weakest saint upon his kneee."
THE DEACON.
"But what's that weak one, IL you please
A.dO there N I'm
-Yonkers Statesman.
---
A Hit at Last.
"And so this is the end" said tho
hero as he bent over the form of the
dying heroine, while the orchestra
played soft, sad music.
"Thank heaven for thatw exclaimed
pathetic voice from the gallery
London Tit-Bits.
Miraculous.
The girls who live today are queer. It's
wonderful ! swear,
To find three blonds and four brunettcs
who wear each others hair!
Dallas News.
No Failure About II.
ut Is too bad that your son's mar
riagc was failure"
"That's just the trouble. 1t wasn't
a failure. There doesn't seem to be
any way in which he can get u divorce
from that chorus girl."-ChicagO Rec.
ord Herald
Old Friends.
! read comic paper once
And straightway was surprised
To see how many Of Its Jokes
promptly recognized.
Buffalo Express
catty Consolation.
Grace-N-nO; Dick hasn't proposed
to me yet.
Maude-Don't worry. Your turn will
come.-St. Paul Dispatch
Sure Thing.
When lovely woman stoops to folly
And gets the man she tries to XIII
The Jury soothes her melancholy
And sends her into vaudeville.
Cincinnati Enquirer
Tho Truth.
Bangs declares that his family has
q distinguished pedigree"
$50 1t has. His show dog's."-Balti.
more American.
Honpeck.
] questioned poor Hehpeck TODAY
And thought that his answer was fine
my wife doesn't talk In her sIeep.
She oftentimes talks though. in mine,,
-iAppincott's Magazine.
All In Good Tims.
Patient-Say, that isn't the tooth I
eant pulled!
Dentist-Nsver mind: Tn coming b.
&-R0ston Tsaa9csiQk
VI !. n " ~. a.. z M