New-York tribune., 1912-03-09
THE VITAL ISSUE.

Not tariff revision or party division
our troubled reflections engage;
Nor yet conservation nor business stagna-
ton.
High prices nor average wage.
The 'stand-pat" and Progressive may each
he aggressive.
For all that (at present. we care;
But what does perplex us and worry and
Is-what Is she going to wear?
VIII she hop2. VIII she hobble or wiggle
Glide, hoat. dip or wrlthe on her way7
VIII she be wide or narrow? Curved or
straight as an arrow
That only Dame Fashion can say.
The way that God made her. when Fash
ions atrayed her
Cannot De discerned anywhere;
And at what she'll resemble next season,
tremble-
oh! what is she going to wear7
-Sonwood Notes. White Plains. n Y.
Mrs Grelg-what are you burning. my
dear?
Mr. Greig-The letters wrote you before
we were married.
Mrs Greig-You heartess wretch Have
you no sentiment, no
Mr. Groig-Pleaso he quiet. I'm doing
this for your sake. I'm trying TO fix things
so that II die nobody can dispute my will
on the ground of insanity.-Tit-Bits.'
The owner of a clever cat writes to "Our
Dumb Animals that the pet. "a great, fat,
lazy, good-natured fellow" has a fondness
for eggs. Sir Tom was detected In the
kitchen recently on table watching an
unopened bag OF eggs. stepping back
nolselessly," writes the owner. I'VE saw
him cautiously tear the bag with his teeth
and claws. stopping every little bit to
listen. Finally tho opening was large
uh TO- I'm. IN nttf htr.
little pats. He held the egg In his mouth,
jumped TO the floor rolled his prize about
gently until he got It into position. and
then bumped II against the table leg until
II broke. Then he enjoyed his feast" The
writer wonders where Tom got the taste,
ns he is and his ancestors for generations
back were clty-bred."
The phrase Not worth n tinkers dam"
comes from the fact that tinker builds a
flooded with solder. The dam is worthless
after being once used.-Miwaukee Journal
Uncle Sans consul at Zurich con-
tributes short "story," as newspaper
men say, To DAILY Consular and Trade
Reports" that will probably interest New
York City taxpayers and those of other big
cities He writes: THE Swiss budget for
1912 shows estimated total receipts OF ST.
SOC. 900. and provides expenditures for Sls.-
$4,000 The deficit OF $4,000 against $3is 900
in l91D is due to greater expenditures in
different departments particularly the In
terror, which is allowed t3,3C0,000, an In
crease OF $4,000 over 1911. This is destined
chiefly for subventions TO public works In
the various cantons. forestry and CONNER
cIal and industrial improvements. An
increase of 1909 for the construction of
state buildings has also been allowed"
BILL see that each German regiment
has attached 10 II chropodst
fellows could do some pretty good foot
work.-Yonkers Statesman.
A catch query is going the rounds. the
answer TO which Is puzzling a great many
persons. To lend this small addition to the
merriment of the nation. one man APP
proaches another-a friend. of course-and
saysi Now, with politics flying through
the air and with every phase OF the ques-
ton being taken up, I'll wager you can't
tell me what our Presidents name was In
1865" The customary procedure Is for the
questioned man to ponder a moment or two
and then finally to admit ignorance. TRY
Il en- your friends" " suggested. and then