Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1912-11-28
THE DILEMMA
OF A SOLDIER
A Humorous Episode Of the
War OF the Sixties.

Van Nalkenburgh. descendant from
old Gurret Van Nalkenburgh, who
owned farm at the time Of the Rev
olution III what is now the middle OF
New York city. left his millions ana
in the ranks went down into Virginia
to help preserve the Union.
Archies regiment one afternoon,
skirmishing through little aristo-
cratic Virginia town. encountered
brigade Of Confederntes, which gave
them fire that disabled most of them.
The rest scattered aud ran back as
fast us their legs would carry them.
Archie among the runners. Mounting
a pretty white fence that inclosed
flower garden, he climbed into the
branches Of cherry tree. The leaves
as well as the cherries were thick. and
he was well hidden. The Confederate
commander, fearing an ambush. order
ed halt, leaving his pickets within
few hundred yards Of the fence.
Night came on and left the soldier up
the tree.
Marches had been long and fighting
frequent. Archie was tired. hungry,
sleepy and ragged. In climbing the
tree sharp broken limb had removed
what remained of the seat Of his trou-
sers but he didn't mind that SO long rs
he was safe from capture. Finding
two parallel branches near together.
he stretched himself between them
and went to sleep.
In the morning the bright sun awak-
ened him, and he found that oil ap-
peurance of war had vanished. Direct
ly beneath him was girl piucking
roses. Unfortunately the girl looked
up and saw him.
She was about to shrek when
Archie dropped directly before her.
Doffing his hat and bowling very low,
as was the custom with swells in those
days, he said:
Pardon me for coveting your cher
rles. was hungry
''Are you one of o,lrs?" was her tirst
question His uniform was 80 dilapi-
dated that she couldn't tell whether It
was Confederate or Federal.
II am not one Of yours, he replied.
II wish We're.
''What do you menn:"
81 refer to the cherries and roses"
"Oh!"
"lf were cherry you could e.
me, II n rose you could wear me
your hair"
Her fright vanished. What a han
some. ragged, dirty man.
''You are my prisoner" she said.
'Delighted to lie made captive"
II mean It, A single word from me
would call number OF people"
please don't speak II
III order you to turn and walk before
me to the house over there"
Archie remembered the missing seat
of his trousers. lie paled slightly.
would you mind my walking back
ward:" lie asked humbly.
"BackwardY'
eyes; you look awfully fierce
The girl smiled. She held her arm
toward him. rose In the hand.
"You see.' he said, taking the rose,
facing you can disarm yon'
"Its all the weapon l have. Yon
are in no danger. Now turn about and
move forward or Ill call"
Wont you please walk before me?'
"Certainly not Do you suppose
wish to be murdered?"
"And don't wish to be crucitied.
~ would advise you to do as ! say.
Really you are very nice. ragged.
dirty Yankee like yon. and IL you
will do MS say before any one comes
I'll take you home and hide yon."
Here were two horns Of Il dilemma
on the one hand. avoidance of going to
Libby prison: on the other, walking be.
fore pretty girl with an exposed
shirt tail The blood of generations of
swells revoltcd ut such an ignominious
situation.
"Nevcr" he said ut last.
You don't mean that you fenr IN
unarmed girl? How can you Yankees
expect to conquer our men il you are
afraid Of our Sirlsy'
"If you were Il man you might
march ME anywhere. I'm unarmed."
"About face-march"
II mutiny. Excuse me. must mu.
tiny"
"Oh. you do? Well. IL you continue
to- There, your obstinacy has cost
you your liberty. That's my father
coming. He'll call out sufficient men
to arrest you. and they'll send yo', tu
Richmond. can't protect yol.'
A gentleman came up and. seeing bis
daughter talking with disreputabie
looking man, knitted his brows.
Father" snid the girl, "here's
Yankee. He hid in this tree when our
boys drove his people of yesterday
evening. l ordered him to march he.
fore me to the house. and he refuses
Take him In charge"
You parch to that house mighty
quick" said the man. "or I'll"-
II will If your day ter will go first =
why so?" asked .1e man. surprised
"Iook!'
He turned his back to the gentleman
Carey" said the latter. ''go on
ahead"
The girl obeyed the order. When she
was out Of bearing Archie snid to his
captor. II could have escaped. but not
without showing this taking hold Of
his shirt tail, ITO your beautiful dansh
ter"
"You chose Imprisonment because
you wouldn't do that. sub? You're 4
gentleman, sub. Cut and rum