davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
IN FLoRENTINE BARBER SHOP

George Eliot in 'Romola."
 That beard, my fine young man, must be parted with, were 1t as dear to you as Florence we love not to see a man with his nose projecting over a cascade of hair. But, remember, you will have passed the Rr bicon when once you have been shaven; if you repent and let your beard grow after it has acquired stoutness by strug- gle with the razor, your mouth will by and by show no longer what Messer An gelo calls the divine prerogative of lips. but will appear like dark cavern fringed with horrent brambles''
 With all my heart said the stranger If the Forentine graces demand it, l am willing to give up this small matter of my beard, but
 ''Yes yes," interrupted Nelio. "I know what you would say. It is the bella zaz- zera-the hyacnthinc locks, you do not choose 10 part with; and there Is no need Just a little pruning-ecco.-an you vii look not unlike the illustrious Prince Pico di Mirandola in his prime I am quivering with the inspiration of my art even to the very edge of my razor. Ah, then, come round this way. See now, how by diligent shaving, the neither region of your face may preserve it's human outline instead of presenting no distinction from the physiognomy of a bearded owl or a Barbary ape
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
We are such stuff
Birmingham's First Referendum

The result of the first referendum vote of the city has been accepted by the commissioners, and the 10 year lighting contract has been annulled. An appeal to the people is an appeal to the court of last resort. Commis- sioner Weatherly negotiated, the con tract in question, and he accepted the decision of the people and offered the resolution annuling the contract.
 Let us hope the Birmingham Rail- way, Light and Power company will discard all legal questions, preferring a decision of the people to the decis- ion of any court, no matter how well constituted it may be.
 The trolley company should meet the commissioners half way and fair and just agreement should be entered into. No time or duration feature is necessary. A fair and just contract will stand as long as it is fair and just, and this is all either side should ask for in the light of the referendum. Beyond all doubt the matter can be adjusted satisfactorily and justly, and that is all the people desire.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
Shackled Street Workers

r. l. Monks is man who has fought injustice and oppression all the days of his active life. He fought for the op- pressed in Ireland and he stands ready to fight for the oppressed in America. When he sees in the streets of Birmingham young boys going about the streets, broom in hand and shackels on their legs, he becomes indignant and inquisitive. A young white boy thus publicly disgraced proved to have been arrested for be- ing drunk, and he had been fined $5. This fine he was working out in shackels in our streets, and he is but IS years old
 The'burning question in this matter is this: Is this the best way to reform young drunkards? The object of pun ishment is to prevent the commission of offences. The punishment inflicted on this 16-year-old boy will be more apt to turn him into hardened crim- inal than into a reformed member of society.
 The shackled men, brooms in hand or gathing waste in our streeets, is a sad page in our city's history, and the commission should certainly endeavor to find a way out of it. The matter is up to the commissioners, and Street Commissioner Gafford is not judge of the broad problem of humanity presented in the shaekles that are placed on the city's prisoners, none of whom are guilty of grave offenses.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
"TuRKEy TRoT, FORBIDDEN

rom the New York Sun.
 Deputy Sheriff Tschirky polishing his gold badge and a elnmp of green Swiss walters d. the Waldorf yesterday-you are aware Of course that Deputy Sheriff Tschirky Is Oscar, secretary of cuisine In the caDinet of George c. Boldt-ob- served that Hortense, the beautiful cham bermaid of the seventh floor, lacked the But oscar spoke kindly to Hortense, he cause he knew that one is never quite ones self after dancing steadily from Il D. m. until a. m.
 For Hortense, with most of the other attaches of the hotel. had come straight to work from the annual ball of the Wal dorf-Astoria young men at the Murray Hill lyceln, which was some function, take it from Ruby Buchanan, the hello girl. Some people connected with the Waldorf h a menial capacity, and who didn't get bids because they weren't classy enough hung around the entrance of the lyceum and spoke of the dance as the bellhops' ball. "Hallboys' Hop is much more accurate. Besides the hall- boys there were present most of the hello girls, the manicure ladies, the hair dress CTS, the chambermaids and the parlor. maids, with a considerable sprinkling of, junior elerks. secretaries and assistant managers.
 The ball didn't get under full headway until o'clock yesterday morning, be- cause many of the guests had certain du- ties to perform at the Waldorf which de- layed their switching into evening dre5s until after midnight Among the first 10 arrive was Deputy Sheriff Oscar, who was escorted by a committee of bell boys with rauch formality to a box in the balcony. 1hereupon oscar assisted the floor committee in coming to a very im- portant coneusion-that the turkey trot," ''grzzly bear" Texas Tommy and Boston dip should be cut out. No- tioe was served promptly on the boys and their girls that the first offense would bring a warning, but that the secord would result in an invitation to beat it. MT, George F. Began, who hops on the Naldorf's main floor. near the Thirty fourth street entrance, said to a Sun e porter:
 "We have decided that the turkey trot' is not to be danced in good society. Therefore, for reason of good taste, we have put the kibosh on the wiggles. We do not care to have the sensiblilties of our guests offended
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
Orckestras and the Ballet

one of the greatest attractions of the season win he the Russian dancers at the Jefferson theatre tonight. The bal let comes under the head of high art and nearly all the master composers have written ballet music. The danc- ing is artistic and refined, and tends to stimulate the esthetic taste.
 '.The orchestra that accompanies the Russian ballet can be counted upon as high class, although somewhat smaller than the orchestra accompanying Pavlowa and her support last season at the orpheum," said an old music lover. Tt was announced in one of the advertisements which l read this week that the Russian ballet was composed of 50 dancers, and that the orchestra would number 90. Doubtless the size of the orchestra was overstated by
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
The Democratic Family Fuss

"The Harvey Wilson Watterson jamboulaise' will not do the cause of democracy any good" said demo- crat of unwavering fealty to the party.
 T myself feel it. and I daresay thousands of other democrats that the party has been handicapped by this family quarrel. It is all too true that the democratic party can be relied upon to do some fool thing to help it toward defeat. But for the unhappy row alluded o,it would have made but little difference as to which of the prominent candidates mentioned for the democratic nomination was chosen, victory was possible with some, or as- sured with ne--Underwood, l mean. Now with Bryan champing at the bit, and quoting scripture to cover his dis like of two of the strongest candl- dates-Saul of Tarsus' as to Wilson's change of mind is to Bryan, and the jealousies and wounds left by the H. WY, miX-up we will have to fight hard to win. It will take money and lots of it, and the sooner the demo- erats frankly confess it the more easily W IL SuCCeSS pc oDtdlileu. W ny ldkS lnS modern idea of publicity, the cost Of newspaper space, of mailed literature, and these items alone are an enor nous item of expense that must be incurred. Mr Tiiden, even in his day, knew and recognized it, for his purse was liberally drawn upon; this, too, when he was not himself the stan | dard bearer
 Ut may be that our partys snarl may be offset by an uto-dynamic manipulation within the ranks of the republicans; that Taft, Roosevelt or LaHollette will one of them get out the shears of Delilah. and if Taft ism nominated, like Cleveland in the Me l<inley Bryan campaign, he may pull down the pillars upon his party's nom- inee. Let us hope something of this kind will save our party from toe many able candidates and astute pres ident makers"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
FLAGG's WIT

In the February American Magazine there IS an interesting sketch of James Montgomery Flagg. who Is one of the most successful illustrators of the day both in an artistic way and in material way. The author Of the sketch goes on to say:
 But gifted as MT. Flagg is in his craft, I agree with MT. Charles Dana Gibson that it is in humor that he excels I don't know of anyone with a greater gift for numor,' MT. Gibson has said to me. Tt is in every line he draws Flags is big man, and he is getting bigger all the time
 His hunor is like some inexhaustible, bubbling spring. He uses all he can of it in his drawings. but he can't draw ft as fast as it pours out. There is tre- mendous overflow-a deluge of eommens, oaustic and comic, an ironical apprecia- ton of every funny little foible of hu- manitv. some of this comment comes in conversation, some in prose and some ia verse. as witness. for example this class ic limerick:
 .said the Reverend Jabez McCotton: .Tbe waltz of the devils begotten.' Said Jones to Miss Ply:
 Never mrd the old guy;
 To the pure almost eyerything's rotten. ''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
Reform Movement in Louisiana

The recent primary held in Louisi- ana was a great victory for good gov ernment-for clean registration, hon est elections and for a commission form of government in New Orleans. The new legislature is committed to the last named proposition. In the primary the machine that came down from reconstruction and lottery days to the present was utterly overthrown. John T. Michel, ward boss of New Orleans, was. the machine candidate for governor, and he was defeated by Judge Luther E. Hall, the good gov ernment candidate. United States Senator Foster was defeated by Con- gressman Randsdell, and Senator Thornton by Congressman Broussard The democratic good government league will control majority of the legislature, and when a commission form of government is established 1T New Orleans the old ring will be thoroughly crushed and driven out oi the politics of Louisiana. This is a great victory, and 1t was as much needed in Louisiana as similar vic, tory is needed in the machine gov erned state of Pennsylvania.
 The New Orleans Item, an evening paper of large circulation, is entitled to great credit for its work in the re- cent campaign. It fought for better government on every page of the pa
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
THE POOR RELATION

By Charles Lamb.
 A poor relation is the most irrelevant
 thing in nature-a piece of impertinent
 correspondence-an odous approximation
 -a haunting conscience-a preposterous
 shadow. lengthening in the noontide of
 our prosperity-an unwelcome remem-
 brancer-a a perpetually recurring mortifl-
 eation-a drain on your purse-a more
 intolerable dun upon your pride-a draw
 back upon success-a rebuke to your ris-
 ing-a strain in your blood-a blot on your 'scuteheon-a. rent in your garment-a
 death's head at your banquet-Agath- oeles' pot--a Mordecai in your gate, a
 Lazarus at your door-a lion in your path-a mote in your eye-a triumph to your enemy, an apology to your friends
 the one thing not needful-the hail in harvest-the ounce of sour in pound of sweet.
 He is known by his knock. Your heart telleth you, That is MT. - A rap between familiarity and respect, that de-
 mands and at the same time seems to de- spair of entertainment He entereth sml- ing and-embarrassed. He holdeth out his
 hand to you to shake, and-draweth it
 back again. He casually looketh in about dinner time when the table is full. He
 offereth to go away. seeing you have
 company, but is induced 10 stay He flleth a chair, and your visitors two chill dren are accommodated at a side table. He remembereth birthdays, and pro- fesseth he is fortunate to have stumbled upon one. He declareth against fish, the turbot being small, yet suffereth himself to be importuned into slice. He sticketh by the port, yet will be prevailed upon to empty the remainder glass of claret, if a stranger press 1t upon him. He is a puzzle to the servants, who are fearful
 of being too obsequious or not civil enough to him. Everyone speculateth upon his condition, and the most part take him {, be a tdewaiter. He calleth you by your Christian name to imply that his other is the same as your own. He is too familiar by half, yet you wish he had less dinidence. With half the familiarity, he might pass for a casual dependent; with
 more boldness, he would be in no danger of being taken for what he is. He is too
 humble for a friend, yet taketh on him
 more state than befits a client
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
GAYAou's SIXTEEN BOoi<s
m inc kansas City Times.

From the Kansas City Times.
 Here is the list of the IS books which Mayor Gaynor says have in- fuenced him most:
 The Bible, Euclid, Shakespeare, Humes History of England tespecial- ly the notes), Homer, Milton, Cervan- tes. Rabelais, Gil Bias, Franklin's Au- tobiography and Letters, Plutarch' 5 Lives, Autobiography of Benvenuto Gel lini. Gibbons Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. Adam Smiths Wealth of Nations. Bacon's Essays, De Lome' S British Constitution.
 An admirable list, to be sure-flu cid. Milton, Homer, Adam Smith, Hume. Gibbons; imposing names. But isn't this the list of books that the mayor thinks people will think ought to have interested him, rather than the list of the books he actually readg
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
ENGLAND's OLDEST NEWSPAPER

From Inc Lohdon Chronicle.
 Besides being the governments beS, journalistic properly, tic London Ga zette is alsu our oldest existing English newspaper. It published it's first number in 1665. h That troubled year the court was at Oxford on account of the plague and the paper bore the name of the OK ford Gazette in consequence. not changing to it's present title until the twenty fourth number We can get some idea of the cost of running it from the state ment of one of it's rivals that the rivals charge for ''entertain,ng spies for infog. nation was S25oo in the first year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
VANISHING WILD TURKEY

the various states a good opportunity to provide wild turkeys with a suitable multiplers under proper conditions and with little initial expense they might be- come numerous in forest reservations. In agricultural sections it would be impos- sihle to protect them. It is difficult enough to protect game that is fleeter of fost or wing and not so easy for the poorest marksman to hit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
Tomorrow candlemas Day

tomorrow is known as Candiemas. Candles used during the year on the altar and as sacramentals in the homes of the faithful are blessed by the priest.
 The blessing of candles is a rite that comes down from the early Christian centuries. In olden times in England and in other countries Catholics marched in procession along the high ways bearing lighted candles on Can dlemas day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01

mistake. An orchestra of B or 40 l would be entirely adequate, and such an orchestra is used when the company is performing in New York. l under stand that on this southern tour the company carries an orehesta Of l9 or 20, which does very well. An orchestra of 19 composed entirely of artist-play- CTS and properly balanced can be made quite effective. Perfect ensemble Is what counts, and a small orchestra playing together every day Is far bet ter than a large orchestra made up of musicians who have not been properly rehearsed.
 One of the best small orehestras I ever heard was that which the Boston, ians brought to us season after sea- son. MT. Studley was the conductor and he had just Is men under him, but they made better music than orehes- tras of 25 or 30 patched up for given performance.
 Managers should be careful not to exaggerate in their advertising matter. The public will not complain If a chorus of 40 Is called a chorus of 50, or an orchestra of 20 is called 25, but there is such great gap between 20 and 50 that everybody notices and com ments adversely l remember hearing Patti in opera in Washington, D. C., when the great prima donna was in her prime. The advertisements which appeared day after day stated her or chestra at 50. I counted the men and there were just 28. The opera was 'Traviata,' and the orchestra she had was adequate. If it had been a Wag- merriam work much larger body of in- essary for artistic interpretation. But why there was such gross exaggera ton on the part of Patti's manager I never could understand
 T recall one occasion where an or- ehestra of 50 was advertised for Br- mingham, and by actual count there were 59 men in the orchestra, not counting the conductor I refer to the Metropolitan Opera house performance of 'Parsifaf at the Jefferson theatre a few seasons ago. and there was no dead wood in that organization. It was made up as follows: Ten first violins, second violins, yiolas. 'cellos, passes, 1 harp, ? flutes, ? clarinets, l bass clarinet, 2 oboes, 2 bassoons, 3 trnmpets. 4 French horns, l set of ket- tie drums and other percussion instru- ments requiring two men,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01

per. Its cartoons and it's editorials and it's unsparing news service all aided the cause of the progressives in Louisiana, and that state will no doubt recognize the services of the Item in the great political victory that has been won at state primary.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

1 The s:2O train is reported on time. madam l Can stand in your store little while, mister? Tn waitin' for an Elston avenue car"
 Say, you feller over there! 5 cent drink don't entitle you to 50 cents wuth l O grubi'
 'The 3:.3 train is reported one hour late. madam'
 Why didn't you wake me up, durn vel wanted to sit off at Forty-seYenth,' Hello! Yes. this Is Snoodle. | Yes, l was in little mixup this evening, but for heavens sake don't say anything about 1t in tomorrow mornings raperr'
 Seats are all sold. are they. mister? Well, I've got two good ones you can have for S4 apiece
 fhe s:zo train, madam? It's four hours late. e.'-chieago Tribune.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
Preparations Against the Weevil

In the black belt the farmers seem to have concluded to cross bridge when they come to it, and so planting is to go on as each individual farmer may decide. And yet unless careful preparations are made before hand for the coming of the weevil its ap- pearance is sure to create panic in the ranks of tenant farmers and all others labor.
 The black belt has this year and next year to get ready for it's coming in. In two years farms can be put on the new basis, and on any farm so made ready there would be no panic. The panic comes to those who must get ready to meet new conditions un- der the strain of those conditions. It would seem to be better to get ready this year and in the year to come and be ready to meet the pest defiantly.
 Cotton will contine to be grown Tn the black belt, but cotton alone would be a poor dependence after the boil weevils becomes numerous and preda- tory. New conditions should not be originated in panic They should be thought out and well started before the pest arrives.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
prr,rtvrIoNs OF A BACHELOR

.5rom the New York Press.
 A price tas gets pinned to about every thing, including mercy.
 With most of them waste makes them want to do it some more.
 girl never gets to know more than a man till she marres him.
 Being q smart aleck can get person into more trouble than being dunce.
 The way woman keeps free form sea- sickness is to stay in her cabin and hide t from others.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
UXASPERATING.

Hold on a minute, whinits!' Speak fast, old chap, I'm in a great hurry"
 Just a noment.' Well, well. What is it?' Are ynu aware Of the fact that inc wife of tine Emperor of Germany calls him 'Willy,?" No, confound your lmpeftinencel And I don't care hang what she calls him. You've made me miss my ear.''
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Paying Poll Taxes

At the present time,e stated court house official yesterday, about 11,0o0 pol taxes have been paid in Jefferson county l February 1 Is the final day on whicn these taxes can be paid, and 1 believe that another 1000 will be recorded before the close of the limit period.
 Tt is said that the payment this year is right up to the average But 1t seems 10 me tha. inasmueh as there are mora than 1o,000 voters, as rule, in Greater Birmingham, and about twice that many in the county a comparatively few have equipped themselves for voting. of course, there are great many men above 45 years Of age in this county who do not have to pay poll taxes. Members of the military are also excused. But at the same time I believe that more should pay than do pay.
 This is especially true in view of the fact that this is to be a big political year. We will vote for a President and fer many state and county officials" A Monument for stonewall Jackson
 T am glad to know that movement has been started in Richmond to raise funds for the purpose of erecting an equestrian statue to commemorate the virtues and achievements of Stonewall Jackson" said member of Birmingham Virginia colony. "The Thomas J. tStone- walD Jackson Monument corporation has been chartered and organized with James T.. Smith. president; George L. Christian, first vice president; Mrs. L. D. Taylor second vice president: W. Witcher Keene' third vics president. E. D. Hotehkiss. treasurer and William M. Myers, secre- tary. An1 those officers have issued in the name of the directors and the exeeu- tive an appeal To ths people of the south and to the admirers of Stonewall Jackson everywhere.
 "The association has named May 1o, i912-the foi !y-ninth anniversary of Stone vail Jacasons death--as Jaekson's Statue Memorial Day, and il is requested that or that day each child in the schools of the south contribute 1d cents to the erec- lion of the proposed monument. An ap- peal is made also to Confederate camps and comrades, and to all admirers of General Jackson, especially throughout. the south
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
THE LONELY OF HEART

N. B. Yaies. '.The Land of Hearts De- sire"
 day,
 The winl blows over the lonely of heart And the lonely of hesit is withered away While the faeries dance in place apart Shaking theif mik-wl,ite feet in ring Tossing their milk white arms in tht
 air; For they near the wind laugh and mur.
 mur and sing
 Of land where even the old are fair: And even tiie wise are merry of tongue; But l heard a reed of Coolaney say, When the wind has laughed and mur
 mural and sung.
 The lonely of heart must wither aways
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01

When Congressman Berger reads about the new reichstag he has a yearning again for the fatherland.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01

MT. Dalzers heart bleeds when he con- templates the changes MT. Underwood has made in schedule c.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01
TOO COMPLICATED

TOO COMPLICATED
 "An expert in oseulation has contributed an article to a newspaper on how to kiss girl" Well, did you learn how?" No. After I had reached the ninth stage in tine proceedings without the kiss having been eonsummated, had a brain storm and quit"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01

Unless the watterson-TiIlman row dies out speedily 1t should be referred to the Hague tribunal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01

Henry Labouchere left a fortune of s4. ooo,o0o, but he did not make it editing newspapers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-01

President Butler of columbia university has been selected to preside over the re- publican state convention. This is to De done to show that all college professors are not democrats.