The Washington herald., 1912-10-23
Topics of Interest to Every Woman
EDITED BY JULIA CHANDLER MANI
We ARE RULED By
FALSE STANDARDS
Social Artifcialities Play Too Great
q Part in Life.
By FRANCES sHAFFER.


We have grown to be rather fastidioui
! in what We call the little niceties oi
life. the social proprieties that are yer,
pleasant in the observance and as dis.
quieting in the breach. when We happen
to be a bit fussy and proper"
II is women who care more for book
on etiquette. II they are not to the man.
ner born, than do men: they who most
closely observe the rules of social usage,
they who approve or condemn upon that
basis And sometimes in the observance
they lose sight Of their own sense OF
proportion.
They lose sight Of It always when they
place social usage and its arbitrary lines
above real worth, and measure men and
women by the social rule alone.
II was not 30 long ago that party
of friends and semi friends went to a
luxurious camp in the woods for the
weekend. All were away up. socially.
all but one man and his wife. They
slipped in by grace OF something or
other, but they were not born to the
social purple. He was a man pro-
nouncedly Intellectual. cultured In It's
broad sense. and interesting. but plain
and untutored in the little social ooeerv-
ances that folk take for granted when
trained that way. She was quite In
harmony, and both were familiar with
the refinements, but not the afectations
of life.
Ignorant Of Artihcfalities.
As the few days went by. those two.
a bit alien from the rest. were CRITICISED
and laughed at because they
betrayed their unfamiliarity with fixed
rulings that mean a lot or absolutely
nothing, according to the viewpoint
You see, they were quite old-fashioned.
too much concerned with things that
really count to remember, or even To
know, anything more of the table pro-
prieties than are prompted by simple
manners and delicate habits They faiied
10 do some of the things in the way
that social usage called proper. they
plainly showed that they did not know
Just what was proper. and once ne un-
left his spoon standing
straight up in his coffee cup! In dozens
of little ways they betrayed their igno-
rance of the artificialities. though never
once lapsed from tfe native graces and
that obtain among all men
and women who subscripe 10 simPie hS
ing and high thinking
But the standards Of those rule-bound
folk were false. and they were greauy
And as they narrated incideht
after incident, laughing as they recalled
the significant blunders. at least ono OF
the listeners thought-yes. and IN grace
of mind and all the things that count.
YOU are not worthy 50 much as to tie
their shoestrings.
He was we'll known lawyer then:
he In far better known to-day. They
were simple in their habits Of living
then: they are simple to-day and have
never learned to follow what they deem
the affectations OF life. Their home Is
beautiful, their friends Of a kind with
them and they observe all the refine
ments that make living pleasant-but as
for the foolish little ways that social
usage classes as proper" they are still
in seeming ignorance. and always will
remain SO.
Ashamed Of Home Standards.
It often happens that as young folk
grow up to newer customs. newer 90
,ial rules and regulations. they compare
heir simple home life with the ways
and the forms of some Of their more |
ounctillous friends and they confess to
, little shame OF their old-fashioned |
standards Of living.
Their parents do not adopt the same
he places they visit. do not even know |
low to entertain in the modern fashion. |
low to serve and be up-to-date in the
atest rulings.
The young folk are not quite happy.
because they think 1t reveals a lack OF |
and they try to work in the
,ewer ways Of doing things. just for the
AXE Of giving the impression that they
lnow how.
Probably most OF us can sympathize. |
or We are a bit reluctant to admit that
We do not know tho proper move to
make according to social standards. but |
haven't We learned yet that II really is
sign of bigness and Of growth when
We are ready to reckon values simply
md truly. without the affectations that
re really burdensome?
I once heard a woman say that the
'lder she grew and the more she noted.
he surer she was that the very choicest
ok in all this world were those who
wed by simple. natural and comfortable
ules and remained Indifferent to the ebb
nd flow Of social dictates, as meaning
ess as they were troublesome and fleet
ne.
And don't you think she Is right?
HA