davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

A box of ashes under clump of
shrubbery will be greatly appreciated
by the hens in warm weather.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
Parlor Trick.

tsee illustration). Then take an ordi
nary dessert knife and place the
rounded end of 1t between the table
and the decanter, pushing 1t about the
quarter of an inch under the decanter,
or just far enough to make the knife
stick out horizontally. When all is
ready. strike sharp blow with the
finger beneath the handle of the knife
If the right force is given to the blow
the knife will leap up and make a
half-circle In the air in the direction
of the mouth of the decanter. into
which 1t will fall, handle downward.
If rightly done. 1t requires good
deal of practice to accomplish the
feat, and when practicing 1t is well to
use large-mouthed decanter till you
are sure OF your blow. After you have
become expert at the trick you can
toss the knife into a medium mouthed
bottle with ease. While practicing
cover the table and your lap with
heavy cloth so as to protect both from
the sharp edge of the knife should 1t
fall wide of the mark.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
Speaker Is no Longer am Autocrat

program, the speaker has the right to
claim credit therefor, just as the pres
ident has the recognized right to APP
propriate credit for the achievements
Of his administration. even though the
work and the responsibility were i'm
mediBtely sbouldered by the subordi-
mates.
AS the prerogatives Of the speaker
have diminished In the present house,
those of the chairman Of ways and
means have Increased This ls not al
together due to the fact that this has
been tariff revision congress and
that the ways and means committee
has been busy with these revision
bills. AS chairman of the committee
that selected the committees OF the
house "a task previously falling to the
speaker. Mr. Underwood has also
been recognized as the floor leader OF
the majority to an extent not noted
before i'm many years. He has been
the floor leader also in the party eau
Gus.
While Leader Underwood has had
numerous loyal associates and has not
hesitated to take advice and counsel,
he has had to face several serious
problems alone and virtually unaided
and to work out the solution himself.
Thus there has fallen to him many OF
the worries and vexations. which in
the times agone have fallen to the
speaker.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

Nearly every member of the royal
family adopts pseudonym when trav.
cling otherwise than on state occa-
sions. says the Pail Mall Gazette. The
Duke and Duchess OF Connaugbt chose
the incognito title Of Earl and Coun-
tess of Sussex when they made their
continental journeys, and Princess
Louise, Duchess of Argyll, and the
Duke OF Argyll travel as Lord and
Lady Sunbridge. this being one of the
Argyll minor titles.
Before her marriage Queen Maud
OF Norway occasionally called herself
by the unpretentious name Of Miss
Mills, Queen Victoria always trav
eIed as Countess of Balmoral though
curiousy enough. her heavy luggage
was generally labeled "1'he Queen"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
Very Pussy Person.

A little girl, about years of age,
WAS obliged for some time to endure
the nagging annoyances of a maiden
aunt. The child puzzled her little mind
as to the best means of getting rid of
her tormentor, and at last hit upon a
plan which, she thought, would have
the desired result. She spent the
whole of one morning writing a let.
ter. and, having finished It, she dlsap-
peared In the garden. In the course
of the afternoon her mother asked the
gardener what Alice had been doing,
and was surprised to learn that she
had dug deep hole and put letter
in 1t. A search was made and the fol
lowing epistle was discovered, ad.
dressed to the potentate of the neither
regions at his official residence: Dear
Mr.. Satan: Win you kindly come and
take away Aunt Jane? She is very
fussy person. and does worry me so
Alice"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
NATION SAVED BY A SPIDER
Scotland Proflted by the Lesson the
Insect Taught TO lts
Monarch.

Scotland has many legends that the
sheepherders and highland peasants
never get tired repeating. A long time
ago King Bruce ruled over Scotland
before that country became part of
England, and he learned lesson from
a spider that enabled him to succeed
when otherwise he would have failed.
King Bruce had lost many battles.
He was discouraged. He had made
his final effort against his enemies
and failed to vanquish them. Deep in
despair he went TO lonely room in
his castle, Reclining on the couch
and thinking. he happened to notice
a spider drop from the ceiling on a
single silken cord. He watched the
spider fascinatingly. 1t now began its
ascent. 1t slipped, Time and time
again II tried to mount, but each time
1t failed. The king watched intently,
forgeeful OF all else. An hour passed.
Finally the spider succeeded 1t was
an inspiration for King Bruce, Why
should he get discouraged, having
tried only few times and failed? He
made one last grand rally against his
enemies and routed them, and from
this incident came the old saying, III
at first you don't succeed try again"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
DlSFlGURlNG ECZEMA CURED

MY nephew first showed signs of
eczema on the middle finger. and 1t
came out like a blister. He must have
rubbed his face with that hand. as It
then broke out on his nose the same
way. When the bllsters broke, they
shrivelled up and formed scabs. His
nose was covered with scabs, and 1t
was very itchy. He was badly dis
figured with unsightly scabs. At first,
his nose was sore, and 1t gradually
became worse so his mother took him
TO the doctor. He told her to rub the
scabs off every day, and anoint the
affected part with the medicine he
gave her.
"The man must have been insane.
as that was extreme torture TO the
child, who was only two years old, at
the time. Well, we decided that that
treatment would have to end. | sug-
gested Cuticura Ointment and they
bought II and put 1t on freely every
day for two weeks. He had the &C.
sema for four weeks altogether. but
was getting gradually worse until they
used the Cuticura Remedies, and he
was cured In two weeks. He most
certainly would have been SCARED
with the other treatment. but now no
hasn't a single mark Cuticura Rem
edies cured him In two weeks, and
now we always keep them in the
house." tSigned) Miss Ida Slavin, 2S3
South Fifth St, Philadelphia, Pa,
Jan. 4. 1911. Although Cuticura Soap
and Ointment are sold by druggists
and dealers everywhere, a sample Of
each. with 32-page book. will be mailed
free on application to "Cuticura,"
Dept. l., Boston.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

There are many things. such as
eggs. that can be boiled hard and 9th.
err things that can be boiled soft. and
one of them is the potato.
The potato belongs to class of
foods called starchy, because II Is al
most entirely composed of grains of
starch These grains are contained in
stiff woody sort OF covering. which
will not expand. as 1t is not elastic II
the potato were left in the ground, It
would need this starch for its future
existence. hut when It Is dug up and
boiled something happens to the
starch.
The hot water soaks through the
hard woody covering and gets to the
grains of starch. which Immediately
begin TO expand. and as the hard Gov
ering cannot expand with It. there is
nothing for 1t but to burst. and by
the time all the hard part OF the potato
has been broken up In this way and a
quantity of water has been absorbed
the potato is quite soft.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
THE
CHILDREN
R.H.~Az- krOA 60
u G-E&T A
x2sS.eS9}s1 SlG1AA ]
LITTLE TAD GAINED HIS WAY
Fed In White House by LIneoln's
Son, Despite Cook.

Both the steward and the cook had
demonstrated with Master Tad" up
on bringing into the kitchen of the
White House such squads of poor.
dirty, hungry street urchins to be fed"
and at last Peter said that Mrs Lin
coin must be told. says Wide Awake
Tad flew into rage. ran upstairs to
see his mother himself. and on finding
her out. searched the place for his
busy father.
Meanwhile, the small objects of his
charity waited at the lower door
for Peter had absolutely refused to let
them step inside"
The indignant boy spied his father
just crossing the yard with bowed
head, eyes to the ground, talking earn.
estly TO Mr.. Seward as they walked to
the department of state together He
cried out to him at once.
Father. father! Can't bring these
poor, cold. hungry boys home with me
whenever ! want to? Isn't 1t oul
kitchen?"
BY this time Tad had his father by
the hand, who stopped to listen to the
frantic appeal.
Cant | give them a good warm
dinner today? They're Just as hun
cry as beasts. and two of 'em are boys
of soldier, tooi--and father I'm go
ing to discharge Peter this minute II
he doesn't get out the meat and chick
ems and pies and all the things we
had left yesterday. Say. maynt |?
Isn't It our kitchen, father?"
'ecretary Seward was shaking with
laughter. Mr.. Lincoln turned to him
with a twinkle.
Seward. advise with me. This case
requires diplomacy"
MIR. Seward patted Tad on the back
and sad he must be careful not to run
The government into debt, and the pres
ident took Tad's little brown hands in
his own big one, and with drol smile
bid him to run along home and feed
the boys" and added:
Tell Peter that you are really re-
quired to obey the Bible by getting in
the MANNED and the blind, and that
he must be a better Christian than he
Is"
In less than an hour, Mr.. Seward
said. they passed through the yard on
their way to the cabinet meeting, and
no less than ten small boys we're sit.
ting with Tad on the lower steps,
cracking nuts and having state din
ner,"
Mr. Lincoln remarked that the
Kitchen wac ours"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

The young pigs often become crook
ed in the legs. If kept on the hard
floor too long. and this means that
the pig, If good breed, loses much
of its value.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

We cannot longer raise paying APP
pie crops unless we spray.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
They Saved His Life.

Does it pay to stop your motor car
after an accident and go back to see
what has happened? Two young mo-
florists on the South side believe 1t
does
With a green chauffeur these two
boys We're trying out new model
touring car. They were sitting In the
back seat when the greenhorn at the
steering wheel gave 1t twist and
came within an ace Of hitting an old
man at crossing. The victim was
SO shocked that he fell to the pave
ment, and crowd gathered in an in
slant.
Looking back, the motorists decided
that things looked bad, but that they
had better go back and see whether
the old party was killed. Finding him
all right, but winded, they took him
for nice ride around the parks So
pleasant did they make 1t for him that
when they took him home to his wife
he introduced them as The two young
men who saved my life"
They are now thinking Of applying
for Carnegie medals.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
IGTAsHINGToN.--It Is hard for old.

WAsHINGToN.--It is hard for old.
w time politicians, who have lived
their day In Washington. to realize
that the speaker OF the house OF repre-
sentattyes is no longer an autocrat
Amy one desiring to get anything done
In the house Is now advised to see the
speaker and Leader Underwood. They
are the two head men Of the Demo
cratic branch of the Slxty-second con
gress. Neither of them can do things
as completely and summarily as could
the autocratic speakers OF old, but
when both of them undertake to get
something done a good start has been
made.
This status does not work as much
to speakers disadvantage as one
might suppose. AS far as there Is sat
isfaction in the exercise of authority,
speaker of the house Is not as con
tented man as his predecessors have
been. But he also has an excuse for
not complying with great variety Of
insistent demands. And when the
house carries through a policy or a
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
Game Apparatus.

diamond or field, and various bases
disposed about the same, the parts
being disposed so that the balls may
be rolled from base to base, and vari-
GUS other provisions being made for
strikes" balls" home runs" base
hits" and putting out" The appa-
ratus further comprises means where.
by a ball representing player)
reaches base, It may have the eff
feet of liberating other halls lodged
upon other bases and located more or
less distant from the ball which lib
crates them.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

Whale oil soap may be used to de
stroy lice, scale, insects and mealy-
bugs.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
line

How long have you been widow.
Mrs. Weed?"
1T will be a year the fourth of next
month"
Dear mel Is 1t as long as that?
How time flies!"
ooh, do you think SO? Well, II you
ever have to wait year to look pleas
ant when men offer you attentions
you'll give up the idea that time is
much of flyer"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

Emma. little girl OF 7. was left to
take care of her younger brother and
sister while her mother was absent
and one Of her duties was 10 put them
to bed Her mother returned. and. on
looking after the welfare of the little
ones. found them In bed with the hot.
water bag. although II was hot
night In July why. Emma" she
said in surprise. why do you have
this hot.water bag when 1t is so
warm?" well. mamma" said EN-.
ma. "you put hot water in IL In the
winter to keep us warm, and | have
filed It with Ice water so that it will
keep US cool"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
Turned the Sub

Eddie, who has been punished fol
eating green apples. Is again in the
garden, INDUCING his appetite for the
forbidden fruit when papa approaches
silently. and stands frowning down
upon him. Eddie hangs his head, with
the half eaten apple in his little fist
thrust behind him Then. suddenly
the trembling lip stiffens. he looks
up into the stern face. with a guile
less smile. and pipes: Papa. IL
dreen apple pie made out OF tur
rants?"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
AMUSING GAME OF BASEBALL
Apparatus Invented by Brooklyn Man
Whose Mechanism is Comfortable
by Skill and Chance.

In describing an apparatus invented
by d. J. Bebon o. Brooklyn. N. Y. the
Scientific American says:
The engraving is perspective view
showing the game apparatus complete
The invention relates to an apparatus
whose mechanism is comfortable part.
ly by skill and partly by chance for
playing an indoor game having more
or less analogy to baseball. 1t COM
prises parts representing a baseball
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

Nov. Johnnie" said the teacher
tell me what an engineer isY"
He is a man that works an en-.
CINE" replied Johnnie.
Correct" said the teacher. Now.
Tommy. can you tell me what a pi.
oneer is?"
Yes. sir" answered Tommy; hes
a man that works a piano"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

II was much mortified today to have
Gerald say to me before company:
Shut up, ma How discouragingi
II have done my best to teach the boy
to say: Mamma, pray be QUIET when
be desires me to cease speaking. but
1t seems have labored In vain What
am | to do?"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
Ancient Slot Machines.

tian era, says the Springfield Repub
lican. According to historian of that
time, there was In existence a sacri-
ficial vessel from which water would
flow only when money was dropped in
the slot. Now we want to know
whether the ancients had chewing
gum
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
When Your Ewes Need Care

Try Murine Eye Remedy. No SmartIng-4Feels
Fine-Acts Quickly. Try IL for Red. Weak,
Watery Eyes and GraDulated Eyelids. Illus
trated Book In each Package. Murine IL
compounded by our Oeulsta not n "Patcnt Med
icino"-but used In BuceesBful Physcians' Prac-
uce for many years Now dedicated to tho Pub.
lie and sold by Druggists at 26c ana b0c por Bottle.
Murine Eye kalVe In Aseptic Tubes, Zoo aud Boo.
Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

Johnny. what did you
mean by saying No when I asked you
II you went in bathing. when you
knew you were telling wrong story?
johnny Didn't you tell me the other
day to be man and learn to say
No'?"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
NEAT LITTLE PARL0R TRICK
Knife Is Made to Leap Up and Make
Half-Clrcie, Falling Into De-
canter-Requires Practice.

Here is a very good trick which may
be performed by boys after good
deal of practice. Take water de-
canter and place 1t on the side of the
table so that 1t rests on the very edge
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

Kidney Pills. They cured me and for
over year / have had no suffering
from my kidneys"
When Your Back Is Lame, Remem-
Der the Name-DOAN'S." SOC all stores,
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
URIC ACID
never CAUSED
RHEUMATISM

I WANT to prove It TO your satisfaction
II you have Rheumatism, acute or chronic
no matter what your condition-write
today for my FREE BOOK on "HHeo-
MATIsM-its Cause and Cure" Thousands
say it is 1.-THE most wonderful book ever
written" Don't send stamp-its ABB
SOLUTELY FREE,
JESSE A. CASE, Dept. F, Brockton, Mass,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
one nn Wlllln Smith.

Mother-"What? Smoking again
Why don't you try to be like Willie
Smith? He never smokes" Jimmie
"If 1t made me as sick as 1t does him
wouldn't peither."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
Competltion.

Royalty has its difficulties" re-
marked the lord high keeper OF the
buttonhook
Yes" replied the uneasy monarch.
ut has gotten 80 that a court function
finds It hard to compete with the
scenery and costumes of big musical
show"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
Just Ordinary.

Nellie tagged flve)-"Our family Is
awfully exclusive. Is yours?" Bessie
(aged four mo, indeed We haven't
a~vfhing to be ashamed Of"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

If your stable floor is of plank and
in need of repairing, the laying OF
min coat of cement over the old and
then putting a new layer of planks on
II will serve to make the floor water
tight and at the same time, to pre-
vent dry rot.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

[ could scarcely stay
on my feet from dizzi-
ness. My back ached
az though it would
break and l was SO
nervous l cried. l doc
tored but grew 70
better and the out
look was dark, In
deed. Yet relief was
to come and l can al
W0ys thanh noapto
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

There is no germ slayer better than
an ounce of carbolic acid added to a
pail of whitewash.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
SLOT MACHINES NOT MODERN
Found In AlexaI dria Century Before
Christian Era, According to
Hunter of Curious.

A hunter OF the curious tells us
that slot machines, very far from be-
ing a modern invention. were found in
Alexandria, a century before the Chris
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

Paxtine Antiseptic sprayed into the
nasal passages is a surprisingly sue
cessful remedy for catarrh At drug
gists. 25c a box or sent postpaid on re-
ceipt OF price by The Paxton Toilet
Co., Boston, Mass.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

Weighing milk at stated intervals
not only tells the owner which are
his profitable cows, and which are
robbers. but it stimulates rivalry be-
tween the mixers.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

"That horrible weather"--how pleasant II
really Is when you are we'll Garfield Tea
helps always.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

Satisfactory results were obtained
last year at the Kansas Agricultural
college from the use of Kafiir as ST
lage.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

Boxsic's Group Remedy is a certain cure and
preventive OF Colds, Coughs ana Group NJ opium
no nausea Sold by Druggists ~ cents.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

Before buying exchanging or selling your car consul,
us IL BILE TO cali write for list and tell ue what
Won want 10 buy exchange se for cash The largest
and most reliable AUTO BROKERS In the world Agents
wanted. USED MOTORCYCLES FROM t2b.O0 UP.
IhS7.lasa BROADWAY. COR. 18th STREET. NEW YOhk
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
HERE is HER OWN STATEMENT.

Paw Paw, Mich" TWO years ago I suffered
very severely with displacement Il could not
be on my feet for long time. My physician
treated me for several months without much re-
lief, and at last sent me to Ann Arbor for an OPP
Grafton. l was there four weeks and came home
suffering worse than before. My mother advised
me to try Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, and did. To-day l am well and strong
and do all my own housework. I owe my health
to Lydia Il. Pnkham's Vegetable Compound and
advise every woman who is afflicted with any
female complaint to try it, Mrs. ORvILLE Rock,
IL IL No & Paw Paw Mich
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

Occasionally we meet man who
would rather work for a living than
get into politics.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

The man who steals our thunder 1.
naturally under a, cloud.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

Even the absent-minded man may
have good presence.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

Garfield Tea is unequalled either as an
occasional or daily laxative.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

The man who wears silk hat
shouldn't butt In.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

The man who wants the right of
way wants 1t right away.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

A friend in words is not always a
friend in deed
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17

unsightly eruptions disappear aftera course
of Garfield Tea.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
New York Journalists.

Here's a man who claims to under
stand birds?"
"Well?"
Cant we feature it7"
I'VE might" replied the editor of
the New York paper, III II were played
up properly, Send him out to get an
interview with the first robin, and let's
see what he makes of It,"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1912-05-17
Used Autornobi1es

sreens Purchasing Agency, Cor tsth ST. and Broadway
SELF STARTING ATTACHMENT FREE
BY special arrangement with the manufacturer
Of the famous Self Starting Attachment we will
equp free OF charge to every car purchased this
Self Starting device, so that every used car sod
by us will be equal to a 1912 Model that either
woman or a child can operate. Each and every
ear fully guaranteed and demonstration cheer
fully given. EASY TERMS ARRANGED.