The Washington herald., 1912-08-18
CHAPTER 1.
The Beauty Contest.

rnangy pup unhappy"
Il suppose you think yer Venus
sneered James, remark that he fat
tered himself was rather classy"
The Watermelon sighed as one
would over the ignorance of child.
"No," said he, hardly"
Don't let that bloomin' modesty of
yers keep yer from tellin' the truth,
adjured James.
The Watermelon waved the possibil-
ity aside with airy grace. With all
due modesty, James," said he, Il can't
claim to be woman"
Not with that hay on yer mug,
agreed Mike, casting sleepy eye up
ward from where he lay in lazy con-
tent in the long, sweet grasses under
the butternut tree.
when | was kid, | took prize
in a beauty show" announced James,
with pardonable pride.
"Swiped it," asked the Watermelon.
Dog show?" inquired Mike drows-
lily. listening to the pleasing drone of a
bee in nearby clump of daisies.
James sat up and ran his fingers
with musing regret through the coarse
stubble on cheeks and chin. Il was
three. ! remember, cute little cuss. My
hair was yellow and ma curlcd lt-you
know how-all fuzzy-and l had lit
tie white dress on. 1t was a county
fair. | got the first prize for the best
lookin' kid and was mugged for the
papers. If / was shaved now and
had on some glad rags, I'd be lady
killer, all right, all right"
'Longside of me-" said the Water
melon, you'd look like blear-eyed
son of toad"
"Youl Why, you'd make a balky
horse run, you would"
When ME hairs cut, I'm a bloomin'
Adonis, not Venus" and the Water
melon drew languidly at an old brown
pipe, warm and comfortable in the
pleasant shade, where soft breezes
wandered ftfully by, laden with the
odors of the fields in June.
James was skeptical. Did y ever
take prize in beauty show?' he de-
manded. still musing upon those by
gone honors.
No" admitted the Watermelon,
Ny old man was parson, and par
sons kids never have any chance. Be
sides, | wouldn't care to. Too much
like the finest bull in a county fair, or
the best laying hem"
Huh" sneered James. MY folks
was of the bon-ton."
THE bon-tons never broke any rec
ords in the beauty line" replied the
Watermelon. And the bon-tonnier
they are. the uglier."
Beauty" said James with charming
naivete. runs in my family"
1T went so fast in the beginnin /,
then, yer family never had chance to
catch up" returned the, Watermelon.
We'll have a beauty show, just US
two"
Inspired by the thought, he sat up
to explain, and Mike opened his eyes
long enough to look each over with
slow scornful derision and a mocking
grunt
James fondled the short stiff hair
on his cheeks and chin and waited for
developments.
The Watermelon went on. we
will meet this afternoon, here, see?
Shaved and with decent duds on. And
Mike can pick the winner
Mike! He can't tell sick cat from
well one"
That's all right He knows enough
TO tell the best lookin' one between You
and me- A blind mug could do that"
But"
I'VE haven't any one else, you mutt.
We can't have too much publicity in
this show | dislike publicity any way.
at any time. and especially when
have on clothes, borrowed. as you
might say. for the occasion. If the
gang was here. we could take vote.
but seein' that they amt, we got to
do with what we got"
Il amt goin' to get in no trouble
wild this here burg" declared Mike. 81
want quiet Sunday, some place where
] can throw me feet for bite of grub
and not run no fear of the dogs taking
one first See? Besides. its decent.
law-abidin' burg, God-fearin' and
pious; too small TO be made unhappy.
You want to take somethin' yer own
size"
"Aw, who's goin' to hurt the jerk
water town." demanded the Water
melon with indignation.
'The cost of livin' is goin' up so
these days, it's gettin' hard even to bat
ter handout." groaned Mike. whose
idea of true beauty consisted of full
stomach and shady place to sleep on
a long quiet Sunday afternoon. q
amt goin' to get every place soured
on me. If the public gets any more
stingy. I'll have to give up de turf for
livin.' that's all To throw a gag will
be harder den hod-carryin'."
I'VE amt goin to hurt the burg
none," said James.
He rose languidly and stretched.
You be here this afternoon, Mike,
about three, see, or I'll knock yer
block off. It's a nice quiet hand-out
and far enough from the village to be
safe. I'm goin' TO get shave and
borrow some duds from the bloomin'
hostelry up yonder 10 do honor to de
occasion" He knocked the ashes from
his pipe and slipped it into his pock-
ct. IF you don't get the clothes and
de shave, Watermillion, you'll be
counted down and out, see?"
Sure" agreed the Watermelon.
He lay at length on the ground be-
meath the butternut tree and James
paused a moment to run his eye criti-
cally over him. from his lean face with
its two-weeks' growth of beard to his
ragged. clumsy shoes James smiled
grirnly and drew himself up to his full
height with just pride. He was six
feet two in shoes that might as well
have been stockings for all they added
70 his height His shoulders were