Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-06

VI S"S Wiu8o ~ JUN ~. D DovTOl
DID u Hank and Sadie Nv.
Hank: he hollered: Honest. Sadie.
Amt 1t what o might call bliss?
Tie q clnch. my little lady.
could ride through life like this"
There amt nuthin' to prevent it,"
Screamed our Sadie in his ear,
But the motor was 30 noisy,
Hank could not exactly hear.
Seven times did Sadie scream and
Try to make him understand.
Finally he got her answer
And he blushed 10 beat the band.
Then he turned around to kiss her.
It's q foolish thing to do
when you're on q bumpy highway,
And you're hitting ffty-two.
Some time later they were rescued.
They were hanging in q tree:
Sadie. She was bruised and shaken.
Hank has Just q busted knee,
In the hospital they married.
Showing that they still had spunk.
Then he sold the motorcycle
To a man VIC dealt I'm funk.
That q many months ago, and
NOW on cycles they don't ride,
b1. they run q horseless carriage
With a cherub tucked inside.
-
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.
There is a terrible difference be-
tween a fool and a durn fool. The
latter never does.
"A Keller with an expressive counte-
nance has got no business In a poker
game.
When a Teller has got eight or nine
children he somehow loses taste for
passionate socks and neckties.
1t beats all what a lot Of bum cook
ing a Teller kin eat when he is In love.
No man should let his whiskers grow
SO long that they hang in the u
There are q few fellcrs in every town
Christmas. They are always the ones
who are not in favor Of lettin' the new
railroad come in and think that lantern
light Is good enough on the street after
s o'clock.
A state law provides for a front and
rear light on all vehicles. II a Teller
is pushin' a baby cab he will have to
hang a light on his Goa tail.
One Of the fellers who amt content
ed to sit still and let trouble overtake
him.. but feels as though he must run
down the road and meet it, is the fell
Ter who writes love letters to another
feller's wife.
There are a lot Of matinee idols and
vaudeville strong men in this country
who couldn't make $40 a month on the
section.
Never judge a mans knowledge by
the size of his eye glasses.
A man should never go to the thea
ter with his wig on crosswise. Some
body in the balcony is sure to notice
that the part runs east and west in
stead OF north and south.
About the only place an old FASH
toned Teller kin get a quill .30tApick
nowadays is on a dining car.
There never was q time in the his
tory of his country when there wasn't
something the matter with the tariff.
A Teller always knows a burned sight
more at 20 than he does at 80.
II IL q long lane that has no house
with q mortgage on It to pay for an
oatmobile.
The difference between the costly
oatmobiles and the cheap ones Is
mainly the price.
When /! see a Teller who carries his
handkerchief In his sleeve, 1 always
wonder where ne trims hats.
There are more greenhorns in the
big cities than there are in the
try.
A German scientist has invented q
milk which he say 10 Just a good as
that given by the cow, and probably 1t
i 70 - 0VOA OO61 OOSSOt Ssb0bA SA0S v
by the we'll pump.
The West H%ickeyville Intelligencer
was forced to suspend publication last
week bskus somebody had stolen the
editors shears.
Bat Il will be q LONG time before
q secretary of the navy with q niftier
middle name than has Geo. Won Len
gerke Meyer.
A star ball player must spend about
al his salary. trying to live up to the
automobiles that are presented to him
by an admiring public.
A Teller who 10 paying alimony 10
two OF three ex-wtvos can be pardon
ed, for INDUCING In . bit OF pessimism
occasionally.
Miss Pansy Tibbitt. got into her
tight skirt the other day and couldn't
back from the hem to the waistband.
There are times when yer q lodge
button doesn't guarantee you that q
teller 10 going to give you a square
deal.
Many a teller is judged by he cigars
that are named after him.
Hank Tumms and Hold Peters are
such bitter enemies that they vote diff
ferent tickets every four years Just to
knock each other out.
There are q lot Of book critics in
this country who couldn't get one of
It takes q man q long time to get
rich by saving cigar coupons.
There are Just about ~ many homely
women ~ there are homely men In this
country, but the former are better
hands ct c%oncealin' the fact.
There u only one thing more unre-
liable than boardin' house hash and
that 10 boardin' house gossip.
The trouble with Q good many ball
players IL that they do too much bat