Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-04-09

gar. come, let US nnlSh the bowt De-
fore US and be off,
The landlord and the author of q fl-
ture work entitled "A Voyage to New
England" with a highly diverting &C
count Of the manners and customs OF
the colonists. published In London in
1862, drank the remains of the plutonic
mixture before them-the author with
a grimace-and proceeded to the meet
ing house, which was the only avaiia-
BILE shelter for q court except the oedi-
nary. They arrived soon after the
prisoner, and the inhabitants OF the
village were gathering for one of the
few diversions they were ever accord
ed. Everybody knew Jake Murine
and Sarah TVttie for o pair ofinnocent
young persons, who were passing that
delightful period when lovers may sit
intwined IN each others arms while
the clock is striking the happy hours
away. And now Jacob was to pay the
penalty for their happiness, for every
one knew that there were witnesses
who had seen them bugging and kiss
ing apparently without thought of
what was to follow such conduct when
INDUCED in without Goodman Tuttie's
consent
Goodman futile was there, expectant
OF vengeance, and presently bis wife
came in with their daughter, who
showed in her vfsage and demeanor an
unhofy protest against parental author
tty. They tookvseats IN front, while the
space behind was fiffed by citizens and
Indians. Then the Judge. al being as
sembted. asked Goodman futile TO
state his charge against Jacob Murine.
The charge" replied the accuser, els
inveigitng my daughters affections
What proof have you to substanti-
ate it?'
ION May day last without asking
my permission the prisoner had some
boisterous lovemaxing with my daugh-
ter II began by his seizing her gloves
and demanding the forfeit-a kiss
Whereupon they sat down together,
his arm being about her and her arm
upon his shoulder or about his neck,
and he kissed her, and. she kissed him,
or they kissed each other, continuing
In this posture for about half an hour"
call your witnesses, said the court.
Since this outrage against parental
authority had been committed on a,
holiday when all were Maytng togeth-
er, there were plenty Of witnesses to
prove it. Some testified because they
were obliged to, but many did so that
the town might be accorded the amuse-
ment of seeing Jacob tied to the whip
ping post receiving the strokes of the
cato nine-tails Perhaps there were
some who were selfish enough to tes-
tify in order that they themselves
might be accorded this favorite
amusement. When the testimony was
all in Goodman Tuttle, confident OF
receiving a goodly sum of money
from the prisoner for fines and an
ticipating the pleasure of hearing Muir
lines bowls under the cat, looked
much pleased. The spectators were
getting ready to go out to witness the
punishment, and it appeared that moth
ing could interfere with the merry
making The judge asked Jacob II he
had anything to say for himself,
whereupon Sarah Tuttle, sham1aced,
arose and said sorrowfully:
Il have something to say, your wor-
ship"
What Is it?"
Jacob futile did not iRveigie me at
/ all l wished to induce him TO kiss
me. In fact, enticed him. l dared
him to steal my gloves that he might
have cause to demand a kiss"
Here was a damper on the assembly.
By these few words the case against
the prisoner fell to the ground.
You're a 'bould virgin" cried the
angry judge, land l must fine you for
inveigling the prisoner instead of fin
ing the prisoner for inveigling you"
But" exclaimed the disappointed
futile. al shall have to pay the fine.
My daughter has no money"
That's nothing to me-" retorted the
court. I'm here to administer the
law and must administer it as It is.
It's lucky that I'm not compelled to
administer the cat as we'll" Then
turning to the prisoner he added: ''The
Lord will administer the cat to you,
you jade! You've set pernicious ex-
ample to all the maids of the colony,
and 1 am troubled that I can make an
| example of you only by the fine"
I'm sorry, your worship" replied
Sarah demurely, land l hope God will
help me to carry it better for time to
come"
Since Sarah had thus far carried
TT pretty well for herself in saving
her lover from a frightful punishment
! for making love to her it does not ap
pear why any assistance was neces
sary. To outwit her father and the
! judge. besides depriving all present OF
the pleasure of the only amusement
vouchsafed them at her lovers expense,
was a work not to be despIsed.
When the court was dismissed the
| Londoner and the landlord went back
to the ordinary, where in order to
blunt his disappointment at not hav-
ing been able to give his guest speci-
men of the favorite amusement OF the
| colonists, be brewed an extra strong
bowl Of flip. pumpkin favored. and to
make it doubly effective gave it a
dash Of mustard.
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