The Semi-weekly leader., 1912-01-17
COLUMN OF "CRAB
APPLES VIEWS
"Ths Man Who Thinks Differently.
Puts Them Down In Black
and White.

then exposes.
Get out your automobuggiesl
And let's all take ride,
Until she sinks in the mud on
every side,
Then we'll gather up our skirts
And walk home with wounded
pride.
The eternal candidate is still in
evidence, local candidates, we
mean. and we have spotted three
of them four years. before their
defeat. Take this chair!"
Come, 60 to dinner with mel"
How are all the folks!" Phew !.
Get out!
Was Swedenborg a crank? We
couldn't say that he was, and at
the same time we wouldn't swear
that he wasn't He claims that
1T was given to him" to converse
with angels, to visit the spirit
land. and have explained to him
the process of dissolution. He
emphatically states that there is a
place in which the spirit resides
for an indefinite time prior to
going to its final repose or punish
ment. Swedenborg knows these
things to be true, for he visited
this place and was told all the
secrets that the Bible failed to re-
veal. 1T was given to me" he
repeatedly states, that Il might
understand how these things are. :"
taken as theory, some of his
statements are seemingly sound
But when he talks about being an
especially favored one to witness
things beyond the comprehension
of millions of his fellow men, then
you might consistently call him a
crank!
Accidents will happen" and we
experienced one recently, both un.
comfortable and Iudicrous. While
crossing a slough of considerable
depth on horseback. the animal
stepped in hole and fell sprawIing
in the water. Two desperate
efforts to arise with US in the sad
Ole. proved futile to the horse. A
quick glance showed US that it
was 20 feet either way to high
around; with the wind whistling
from the north and the tempera-
ture falling three degrees every
minute, there was nothing to do
out to wade ashore Four miles
from home. and wet over half way
up, and cold to the crown of the
hat, we climbed into the saddle
and rode home standing up. Of
course the strikers were to blame
for the whole affair.
Tricks are sometimes very
|etfectlve in producing a desired
eject, But the pity is. that too
many never think That a trick"
dgures in some things. Years ago,
before electricity relieved the
Aorse and mule of pulling street
cars a mule that had done hard and
steady service for the street rail-
way company got it into his head
TO be obstinate for once; so when
me was stopped for a passenger to
get on, he tiatly refused to pull the
car further. Coaxing, persuasion
and beating were of no avail
One mlschievous fellow told the
driver to get on his car and be
ready to apply the brake, for he
was going to tell the mule secret
which would start him. The pre-
tended hypnotist whispered some.
thing to the mule,. at the same
time dropping a lighted cigar
stump into the mules ear. A
quick nod of acquiescence followed
Dy antics indicating that it was
time to leave the place, the mule
went for several blocks at satis-
factory speed. An old negro, who
was witness to the scene remark
ed between his boisterous laughter,
f'Lawd Gawd! | wonder what that
white man tole that muIe!"
Travelling life's short journey.
we can't fail to note that great
numbers of limitations are repre-
senting the various vocations and
professions of lIfe's great drama.
Very seldom do we find farmer
worthy of that name. His farm
doesn { show that it is fostered by
one who is in sympathy with it.
Poor land, bad fences; lean looking
stock and mortgage on the whole
outfit does not entItle the landlord
to the name of farmer. But there
may be an excuse for him. Thous-
ands DIRE going through life under
the g Sise of lawyer. doctor, minis
ter. teacher and every other occu-
patitln and profession that can be
found in the catalog. who are
either helpless failures or criminal
dead beats. The sterling are only
found in a swarm of the bogus.
You might open thousands of oyster
SMELLS and never lind one pearl
You might hunt carefully over a
train load of quartz and not find
ulme's worth of gold. There is
gbld and other valuable minerals;
Dtt you don't find it everywhere
you go. But the eternal imitation
is ever before you. More sourness
OF course!
The neurasthenic is to be pitied;
and if you have any surplus sympa-
khy, please send shower upon US,
kor we have it in the worst form.
The future seems to hold forth
nothing but the tiresome routine
that we We already passed through.
Nothing interesting for US to do or
to look to. The same old grind
e.. <f.~~R