New-York tribune., 1912-03-17
TERRORS Of HAT BUY|NG'
Renewing Ones Headgear Not
Always a Joyful Experience.

Twice a year" mourned the woman who
has never been much interested in clothes,
I'm the spring and then again in the early
fall. the signs Of the times remind me that
It is my duty TO get new hat. Now,
don't want new hat; did | follow my own
inclinatlons would 10 about the city with
shawl pinned over my head. like an
Italian woman on the East Side.
THE experience OF hat getting for myself
Is bound TO be a humiliating one, because
] never look we'll in a new hat. The mil
liners know II when they see me coming
and assume their most patronizing man
ner; they are young and pretty. and boast
wonderful coifrures, wherein nature vies
with art. and It is impossible to say which
comes out the winner. | don't wonder they
look bored when a middle aged spinster
with an Intelligent expression, eyeglasses
and very little hair tImidly appears in the
salon OF fashion. on the fifth floor. TO your
right, and has the efrrontery to ask for
something quiet and becoming. but not too
expensive
so often have I undergone the ordeal
that ! know just how the demoisele-in-
waiting thus accosted is going TO receive
me- With her own fair, much-manicured
hands she pulls out chair in front OF q
triplicate mirror in face OF which blissful
ignorance as TO ones own facial defects Is
impossible The glaring light from the
electric bulb overhead pitilessly shows up
the tiny crowsreet at the corners OF my
eyelds and has no compassion upon the
thlnness OF the locks over my temples. The
demoisele lays aside the hat ! have been
wearing which never before looked so
hopeless and detected. and In tones so re-
spectful az to be more contemptuous than
contempt inquiries do | want something
youthful"
Il had thought that I did. on my way
up in the elevator. but under nre or her all
critical eyes ! waver and suggest weakly,
Let me see what styles you have Then
passes before my range Of vision an awful
succession OF chapeaus. bonnets and hats.
hats ranging from meek little shapes.
such a. my non-dressy grandmother might
select II she were going 10 funeral, 10
strange looking. beiiOwered and reathered
monstrosltles that u manikln OF Paris
might shrink from paradiug. | lose all my
sense Of proportion, | can't tell whether |
Ike anything or not II I intimate 10
the demolselle- waiting that I think any
especial style IS more than ordinarily hide
ous, she sences me with the ultimatum
It's the very latest Well, l hadn't SAID
1t wasn't had /?
Il know just what the outcome Will be;
despite feeble mental struggles to retain
my amour prOpre. the realization Is forced
upon me that II doesn't make any difference
what / wear. I cant look Ike nJthins,
anyhow, ~ / might as we'll take the rTst
thing tnat happens along. SO long II IL
the Very latest MadenOis-lle does not
say so in words but by wireless telegTaphy
she has conveyed to me the inspiring
thought that | am very difficult person
10 suit and am consuming d great deal OF
her very valuable time
Il determine 70 make some decision, even
though It may be wrong send me that I
announce firmly. indicating the plsinest
and least expensive OF the lot, resolving In
my mind that since ! am paying so little
for this j can afford 10 buy another and
better one later in the season. when all
the imported models are reduced.
"But never do. For long before the
date OF reductions my new hat has become
an old one; II has even got TO look like me.
and / would no more think Of discarding or
supplanting Il than / would OF casting
aside any other old faithful family friend"