The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1912-04-12
Tests Of
friendship

Friendship
There Is a general idea that friend
ship is chiefly tested by adversely, that
it is easy to retain u friends when
things go well with us, but that they !
are likely to be driven of. by u trou.
bles. This. is such an obvious and
cheap cynicism, it has been expressed
in so many tongues, has so often been
|scrysrallized into proverbs or fables the
world over, that it hardly seems worth
repeating. But one notable thing fs
usually overlooked-that it does got
apply to friendship at all. 1t applfesa
only to limitations Of friendship. y
1t is the very nature Of true friend
ship to thrive best in an atmosphere
of trouble. Assuming that we are sin
cere, we all know that we r eve
drawn so closely to a friend as when
he is. In difficulties andSneeds us: 1t is
easy to be his friend them because
THAT is just the condition that friand-
ship loves; 1t is far more difficult to
be his friend when he is prosperous
and seems TO have no need of us
It may seem that this friendship in
adversely is a very noble thing. GER
tainly there may be much beauty.
much tender ~self-sacrifice and loving
service in its manifestation. But let
us not fatter ourselves too easily.
The trouble Of q friend makes its
appeal to !odr vanity; we feel that we
are 1needed, and this is always a graft
flying knowledge; we feel that we are
Of Importance and that is ever apleas-
ure to our self-esteem. But when
everything is well with our friend, APP
parently he has what he wants and
is independent Of us. Naturally, that
is a time when shams of friendship
flourish, for their aim is to get and not
to give; true friendships aim is to
get by giving,
OF course the difference in our
friends condition is really only super
fetal; he truly needs our friendship. al
ways. as much in prosperity as in 'trou-
OANs pDul WVudl0 uISCOASO IOu NY az
p%earances; If we v draw away from
him, cool toward him, it is when he is
in the sunshine, not when the clouds
are around him. His prosperity may
ALLEVIATE us; his trouble calls us back
ia. him. And this fact should cause
us avery limited pride. Our attitude
in his prosperity is the real test.
VIZ rnort%b 1roFo,o cor 4Io% - o,o~,a
prosperity is the greatest trial Of his
friends-that is. of his true friends.
II ought to be true that friendship
shares the joys as we'll as the sorrows
Of life, but in the case of the joys the
sharing is more difficult. It is not diff
ficult to go about seeking pleasure to-
tgether, to travel, to have a good time
together; It is not difficult to share
each others love of art or music or
literaturesor science. Comradeship in
these things may become very close,
very. stimulating and satisfying; but
mere comradeship, good fellowship ia
not quite enough for friendship.
Can we be truly glad when our
friend is doing better than we are
in any one Of these pursuits. when he
succeeds, while. perhaps. we are do
ing poorly when he wins applause
lthatris denied us? Is it*not easy to
think that his success Is a little be-
yond measure and ours is q little be-
low? Or It fortune comes to him as It
has never come to us; If riches are
pouredsin his bands, PC that he. can
bgain .Whatevers money will purchase,
and do Whatever he has a mind to;
is it then so easy to remain his loyal
and devoted friend. ass,itaing that we
are far above any desire to sponge
upon his wealth? sssCan we bring our
selves, in proper spirit, to accept his
help instead of having the proud joy
Of giving help? Are we not liable to
Imagine an air Of superiority in him?
Our very self-respect renders us sem
sitiYe. quick to be hurt. apt to imagine
that hts prosperity has changed u
friend for the worst. 1t may be pos
sible that 1t has; which proves that he
never needed u friendship more. For
prosperity is the supreme test Of .
man. because its ~tendencySis to ener-
vato and Weaken; N adversely rousess
and rallies all that Is strongest in US.
sel1shly, we, like II friend to be
worse$0n than We are; to be in need
Iof our better natures. The good things
cling to us. 1t Is merely a p~erversion
of our better natures. The good things
in us may so easily be wrongly em-
plcyed. The true friendship, because
the more unselfish. may be shown
when u friend does not appear to
need us, when he can give to US rath-
er than We to him. 1t is not always
more blessed to give than to receive:
sometimes the position Is reverted.
Besides which there are more wayssof
giving than one. and the prosperous
friend may really be In sore want of