davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13
WAS NEW ONE ON TRAVELLER
Gastronomlc Term In Use In Upper
Peninsula Of Michigan Com
pletely Floored Him.

Every section of the country has
Its own phraseology." said travelling
man, "but the funniest l ever heard
was handed to me by waitress in the
upper peninsula of Michigan. 1t was
one Of those combination boarding
houses and general stores, at which l
was compelled to stop against my will.
When supper was announced the
oldest assortment of humanity you
could imagine gathered around the
only table, in the center Of which was
big pile of large baked potatoes. AS
the waitress, who was barefooted, by
the way, had put her thumb in every
dish she brought In, decided to make
my meal on potatoes, knowing she
couldn't put her thumb in those. After
I had eaten several paused to study
my surroundings, when suddenly the
girl thrust her face over my shoulder
and exclaimed, do you want your
changer l didn't quite understand
what she meant, as 1 hadn't given her
any money. 4 beg your pardon
said. Are you ready for your change?'
she then asked. This wasn't much of
an improvement, and was still mys-
tilted. All conversation at the table
had ceased and was the object Of all
eyes. looked at the girl helplessly
and she regarded me pityingly. Sud.
denly she burst forth again. Why,
you haven't stacked yet she said.
was now completely beWildered, and
before could decide what to say she
cast look of utter scorn upon me
and marched out Of the room in a huff
and banged the door. What did she
mean?' asked Of another traveller by
my side. Why, you poor simp,' said
he, she wanted to know if you were
ready for your dessert. They call ii
change in this country, and when
you are ready for 1t you are supposed
to stack or pile your dishes on tor
of each other"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13
Her Occupation.

The Junior member Of the old law
firm of Goldsmith, Colston, Hoadley
e. Johnson having used the phrase
e shining ornament OF the Cincinnati
bar" In refersing to some other law
yer, Murat Halstead seized upon the
phrase and thereafter invariably re-
ferred to Mr.. Johnson as "the brass
ornament Of the Cincinnati bar" At
an evening gathering Mr.. Halstead
saw O handsome woman. He begged
to be presented, and was---to Mrs.
Johnson. 1t did not occur to him who
the lady might be. He was curious
about her. johnson, Johnson?" he
repeated; II have never had the pleas
ure of meeting you before. Mrs. John
son. Do you live in Ohio?" ooh, yes"
replied the lady, trimming over with
smiles; IT live III Cincinnati" "In-
deed!" said Mr.. Halstead, quite aston
ished; may 1 inquire of what family
Of Johnsons you are?" The smiles
were more than merry this time. "Mr.
Hnlstead," she replied, "for fifteen
years have been trying to polish up
the brass ornament Of the Cincinnati
bart"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13

be called the Daughter of the Nation.
She was the famous Nellie Grant. Her
successor, Miss Plat. niece Of Presi-
dent Hayes, was not so well knownt
The Roosevelt debutantes. Miss Alice
and Miss Ethel. are matters Of recent
history.
OF course Miss Taft is no longer a
debutante. This is her second season
and before long the announcement OF
her engagement is looked for. Miss
Taft is popular not only because Of
her position but because Of her charm
ing personality. She is not beauti-
full girl, but she is good type.
Slightly more than five feet eight
inches In height, with clear blue eyes
and thick hair of luxurious golden
brown, she attracts attention wherev.
or she goes.
If her father is reelected next No
vember her friends may we'll look for
a White House wedding, but even
should he leave the executive mansion
next year there is plenty Of time-in
spite Of the fact that she is the busiest
girl Of 1872
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13
WELL CALLED
BUSIEST Girl,
IN SOCIETY
Ardous and Manifold Are the Duties That De-
volve on Miss Helen Taft, the Virtual Mis-
tress Of the White House, and Probably the
Most Feted Of All Who Have Held That
Position

ter>General Frank Hitchcock and
John Barrett, the Wolcott Tucker
mans, who are great friends of Miss
Taft, Miss Margaret Draper, Oden F.
Horstmann, Alfred Horstmann of the
German embassy, the Murray Cobbs,
the Il. A, Mttchells, the George How
ards, Clarence Wilson, Charles G. Clo-
YER and Nathaniel L. Francis.
Miss Taft has signi1ed her intention
Of attending every meeting of the
"class."
Her round Of dinners and receptions
IN Washington has not caused Miss
Taft to lose interest in her college
days and associates. She will have
several of her schoolmates visit her
at the White House during the winter,
and of course social functions will be
given in their honor.
For brief rest from her strenuous
life in Washington she will spend a
weekend or two at Bryn Mawr. But
practically all her days will be taken
UP with entertaining or being enter
tanned, all of which is as much in the
line of duty for fair White House &C.
cupant az writing messages to con-
gress Is for the chief executive.
The big formal receptions and din
ners, no matter how brilliant, soon
become arduous even for the most en-
thusiastic mistress Of the White
House. Miss Taft's round of gayety"
Is pretty much hard work and the lit
tie informal luncheons with her girl
friends are about the only affairs
which are apt to be entirely pleasur-
able.
Besides all this there are hundreds
Of persons who have to be presented,
hundreds Of notes and letters to an
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13
Geological tuberculosis"

The Washington monument at the
national capital, highest of stone
structures, and designed by it's build
ers to stand as long as the pyramids,
ia suffering from disintegration that,
while not Immediately fatal, will short
en- Its life, says John S. Mosby, IT.,
In the December Popular Mechanics
Magazine.
The great shaft, 555 feet in height,
consists of walls Is feet thick at the
base. These walls are made up of an
outer facing of marble blocks and a
four-foot inner wall made of granite
and other hard stone. Between these
two walls there is filling Of heter-
ogeneous stone, held together by &C.
ment. This describes tho first 100
feet, which Is the part now affected.
This part was built continuously from
tho beginning Of the structure. Then,
for years, the construction halted at
that height. 1t liz the interior filling
between these walls that is now,
through the deadly effect of heat and
cold and dryness and dampness at
lacking 1t alternately, beginning to
disintegrate and ooze out between
the joints of the outer wall and the
crevices made by the action of the ole
ments.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13
Not in the Library.

Mr.. Claptrap arrived at the circula-
ting library the other day with his
hands full of small packages and as
cross as two sticks because his wife
had asked him to fulfill some commits
sions for her while he was out. With
a look which was just as disagreeable
as he felt he handed to the little IL
brarian a list which he had made to
aid his memory.
my wife wants these books" he
said grufly. "Be quick about getting
them, if you please. I'm in great
hurry"
The girl, who was a trife shy and
inexperienced, flushed, and, saying
that he should have the books direct
ly, went to look for them. She was
gone some time and when she re-
turned he glared at her Indignantly
and asked il she expected him to
wait all day."
I'm very sorry," she apologized.
"but you see I've been looking for the
last book on tho list. Here are the
other three, but 'Hairpins and Castor
OH can't find an2-and I'm afraid 1t
isn't in the library"
"Good heayens!" groaned Mr.. Clap.
trap, quite crestfallen. did put those
things down in the book list!"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13
QuestIoner Floored.

One Of the members of the school
committee undertook to sharpen up
the wits Of the boys by propounding
the following question::
III I had mince pie and should
give two.twelfths to John, two-twelfths
to Isaac, two-twelfths to Harry, and
should keep half the pie for myself,
what would there be left?"
There was q profound study among
the boys, but finally one lad held up
his hand as a signal that he was
ready to answer.
well. sir, what would there be
left? Speak up loud 30 that all can
hear" said the committee man.
"The plate" shouted the hopeful
fellow.
The committee man turned red In
the face, while the other members
roared aloud.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13
CAN'T BAR ALL THE DIVORCED
Monsrchs Of Great Britain and Rus
sla Find They Must Modify
Thelr ideas.

Queen Mary ON her husbands &C.
cession to the throne caused it to be
known that she intended to revive
the rules and regulations of Queen
Victoria. She even went step fur
ther, says the Metropolitan, and in
timated that the men concerned in
divorce cases, as respondents or as
correspondents. would be regarded
with disfavor in the highest quarters.
Queen Victoria never visited her
displeasures on the men implicated in
divorce cases, save in the solitary in
stance Of Sir Charles Dixie. Indeed
several Of her most famous and most
trusted ministers, such as, for in
stance, Lord Melbourne, Lord Palmer
ston and the now octogenarian Lord
LANDAU. were mixed up in all sorts
Of divorce cases, without ever forfeit
ing either their office or her good
will.
Both King George and Queen
Mary, however, found that it was
quite impossible to put their avowed
int tions into practice. They could
not exclude divorced women from
their court unless they barred there
from the kings own first cousins,
Grand Duchess Cyril of Russia and
Princess Louise Of Schleswig-Hol-
stein, as we'll as host Of other royal
and imperial foreign personages
more or less closely related to them
by ties Of blood.
In Russia divorce -as condemned
formerly both by the court and by So
ciety. Moreover, it was extremely
difficult to accomplish, being granted
only on the grounds which would
suffice to secure a decree Of nullity
from English and American tribunals,
or else for infidelity. But in the lat
ter case the legal conditions were ex-
acting and the cost Of suit SO ex-
pensive that demands for the dissolu-
tion of marriage ties were few and
far between.
entirely changed. Divorces have be-
come frequent in Russian society, and
despite the objections of the en-
peror and Of his Hessian born but
English bred consort, the court has
had to open its doors. Thus the wife
of General Soukhomlinov, the min
lister of war, one Of the most popular
figures at the court of St. Petersburg
and in the great world on the banks
Of the Neva, was first married to M.
de Butewitch, with whom her union
was legally and enthusiastically sew
cred in 1909.
Countess White, wife of the former
premier who represented Russia at
the peace conference at Portsmouth,
N. H., in 1906, and who is still a
minister Of state, is also a Divorce
and is received at court. Moreover,
there are a number of divorces in the
imperial family itself, something
wholly unknown until the present
reign.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13
A Real DeIfcacy,

A New York clubman who prides
himself on his knowledge of things
epicurean was much interested in an
item he discovered in the menu laid
before him on the occasion of his visit
to town of the middle west The
item was green bluefish."
waiter" demanded the New York.
err what sort of blueflsh are green
bluefish?"
Fresh, SIR" quickly responded the
servitor. fright from the water"
"How dare you impose upon me?"
continued the clubman. "You know
we'll enough that bluefish are not ia
ken at this season."
Whereupon the waiter picked up
the menu and gave it careful scru-
tiny, as If by that action he would
solve the mystery. Then, with an air
Of one suddenly enlightened, he add
ed:
ooh, that. sir? That's dollhouse blue
dsh."-Lppincott's.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13
Knowing One Another.
have a friend who says:


when T first saw the Oriental rugs
Of the professor of our new red brick
high school buildings wife, hangin' on
the line, says to myself: NO. Not
that woman. ! won't never vote for
her for president of the Ladies' Aid.
She amt one Of u.s. And while they
was votin' that day set over in one
corner feelin' mean. and thinkin':
No. You don't get no ballot out Of
ME. You amt folks And then the
next mornin', while was gettin'
breakfast she comes wallin' acrost
the yard between our two houses, and
she saids: oh. Mis- Arthur. I'm ma
kin Johnny Cake. and can't tell
whether you put in soda Or hahin'
powder. Which do you?' Andt When
I'd told her how, and she'd started
back, I stood inside the screen door
just lookin' after her And thought:
why, my land. Underneath your
Oriental rugs you was like that all
the time. Why, you're folks"
The thing is AZ simple as the light:
Getting to know one another is the
problem. Social centering is the way
to work 1t out And at the last, de-
mocracy Is the answer.-Zona Gale in
La Follette's Magazine.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13
KIND HE WEARS HIMSELF
cIerk Sells the Editor Some "Nen.
Itohy" Underwear But His
veraeity 10 Doubted.

We believe in giving every man
the benefit Of the doubt. We do not
like to attack anyone's veracity in
haste. Ofte- men have deceived VI
as to facts and conditions, but always
we have liked to think they were mis-.
taken. We have gone our way con.
fldent that they had not Intentionally
led us astray.
But there IL \ certain clerk IN q,
certain underwear shop in this town
whom we would not believe again
under oath. We were In search of
some new white undergarmerts. We
hesitated in our choice. The clerk
saw that we we're slipping 6om his
grasp. to-wit: that he was about to
lose sale.
Now this garment" says he, "is
one of the kind that always wear
myself"
Pulling back his coat and shirt
sleeve he exhibited his undergarment-
Aside from the fact that it wasn't
quite as clean 1t looked like the very
stuff on the counter.
OOeS IL lLCu was asked.
mot Bit" he replied. That's the
beauty of this make. I've never had
any trouble. You can put a suit of
this right on and it won't bother you
a particle"
He looked so honest and straight
forward and frank when he said 1t
that we fell for his line Of talk. That
we haven't known a moments peace
since we need not relate. What we
wish to emphasize Is the fact that
that young man. with the honest coun-
tenance, must have had a back red
with itching and scratching when he
told us that unmitigated falsehood.
His legs and arms must have been
crimson with irritation. yet he stood
right up there and denied 1t. Either
that or he lied when he said that
he Wore the kind Of fannels he sold
us. Even as we write we hardly
know whether to finish this sentence
or get up and scratch our back
against the door.-Detroit Free Press.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13
NERVOUS IN PUBLIC
MANY WORLD-FAMED SPEAKERa
NEVER OVERCOME THIS,
With Some II Persists as Mannerlsme
-Yawn and Handkerchief of Late
Duke Of DevonshIre-GIad.
stones Peculiar Actions,

Persons who are unaccustomed to
speak in public believe that their
nervousness is solely due to their in
experience, and that public men can
make speeches as coolly as they make
conversation. In some cases this may
be so, but few speakers are ever able
wholly able to cast off their nervous
ness. Sometimes it persists only in
the form of mannerism, attractive or
otherwise, but some old parliamentary
ans never escape from the tremors
and terrors which shook them when
their maiden speech was delivered.
The late duke Of Devonshire is usu.
ally spoken of as the perfect type Of
the impassive Englishman. When he
entered the house of commons as Lord
Cavendish, he distinguished himself
by prefacing his maiden speech with
a prodigious yawn. But he was by no
means as languid in fact as he was
in appearance.
When he rose to speak he would
lean one arm on the nearest of the
two iron-bound boxes on the table be-
tween the front benches. Aftlr a
slight hesitation and few quiet
words, the other hand VIC Id steal to
the tail pocket Of his coat and emerge
holding neatly-folded white cambria
handkerchief. Without unfolding it
he would gently rub the corners of his
mouth, and this done, the har !, still
holding the handkerchief, would rest
on the hip or be thrown back
Sitting near him, one could observe
that the grip on his handkerchief
frightened, and that the muscles of the
hand were in continuous action. At
the close of his speech the hand
opened, and one saw not the clean,
folded cambria handkerchief, but only
solid, greasy ball, which was quick
ly returned to the pocket Here was
the safety valve for the impassive no.
bleman's nervousness.
Gladstone was one in whom nerv-
BUSINESS had become mannerism.
When he rose to speak he began with
few gracious words on the speech
which was about to follow, or some
pointed remark as to the character
and Importance of the subject In
his earlier days this was, no doubt
to "get his BREATH
His next act was to raise his right
hand over his head with the thumb
bent down and gently scratch his
skull. That is rather common among
public speakers. The third action of
| Mr.. Gladstone was his peculiar and
individual sign. Throwing his arms
downward by his side, he would with
his fingers seize the cuffs of his coat
and draw these down over his shirt
cuffs so as to conceal them complete.
ly. The ordinary practice is just the
reverse, the desire being to expose
and not conceal the white linen of
the shirt cuffs. These were the in
variable preludes to the great com.
moner's speeches.-Pall Mall Maya
zine.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13
In Praiae of Modesty.

Reginald De Koven told at musi-
Gale in Chicago a pretty story in
praise Of modesty.
"A group Of tourists" he said, "vis-
tied Beethoven's house in Bonn. One
OF the tourists, girl Of twenty or SO,
sat down at Beethoven's plano and
played the Moonlight Sonata none
too we'll. Beethoven's own work. in
his own room, on his own piano!
when the girl had finished, she
rose and said to the old caretaker:
"I suppose lots Of famous musicians
have been here and played on this in
strument?'
"'Well, MISS the caretaker an
swered gravely, 'Paderewski was here
last year, and his friends urged him
to play, but he shook his mead and
said:
emo, am not worthy"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13

swer, numerous engagements with
modistes and milliners, for she has al
ways to be gowned in the height OF
fashion and she must have large
array of finery. OF course the ETH
quette at the White House is not as
severe as at a European court, but ite
restrictions are enough to be felt by
lively American girl of twenty, He1
life is strenuous and exacting, to say
the least.
Has Ability to Stand the Strain.
If Miss Taft were not an excellent
type Of an attractive, up-to-date Amer
lean girl she would never be able to
stand the strain. 1t is always past
midnight and frequently much later
before she is able to retire.
1t IL after nine before she is awak.
ened in the morning and walk with
some of her friends, an automobile
ride or horseback ride with her
father takes up the remainder of the
time until she has to dress for lunch.
con.
White House debutantes have
graced many administrations and have
been responsible for much Of the gay.
ETY. Of the national capital.
The first was the buxom Anne JEFF.
ferson Randolph, daughter of Thomas
Jefferson's favorite daughter, Martha
Randolph. Then came Miss Maria
Monroe, who was the first bride at the
White House. She was succeeded by
petite Alice Tyler, who gave up her
belleship to Mary Abigail Fillmore.
The old timers in Washington soci.
ETY. will rem ember the glories of the
debutante days Of Miss Harriet Lane
the niece of President Buchanan, who
entertained the young prince OF
Wales, afterward Edward VII.
Debutantes Of Other Days.
In the Lincoln regime two debu
tantes were presented, Miss Edwards
and Miss Mary Wallace. The johnson
administration also had debutante
In a young niece Of President Johnson
Miss Still of Tennessee.
The next debutante was the first te
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13

/ admit that l have several names
(they total dozen or more), but am
being imposed upon. am not Al
phonse, a valet, who is looking for
job, nor am Jules, a waiter, who
hopes to go out to Chicago to be a
butler for some wealthy pork packer.
Look at this letter! The man to whom
1t is addressed is evidently waiter
who has bride over here but whose
family over in France Ia waiting anx-
iously for news Of him. l am not in
terested. will give you card bear
ing list Of my names and titles and
shall be glad to receive letters ad-
dressed to any Of them, but please, I
beg Of you, do not send me any others
just because you don't know Of any
body else who has name you cannot
pronO0nce.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-01-13
AFTER A WITcHcA7
FAMILY LIES IN WAIT WITH
SOLID GOLD BULLET.
"Hex" Has Caused Various Kinds Of
Woe In TumbIlng Run Valley and
Can't Be Killed With Ordl-
nary Ammunition.

At Tumbling Run valley, near Potts.
Vile, Pa, a family Is lying in wait
for witchcat with gun loaded
with a solid gold bullet. and has also
put withdrawing cat" on the
trail of the hex" or witchcat. This
wi+chcat appeared at the home of
Howell Thomas, some weeks ago. It
was always seen at four o'clock in
the morning prowling around the
grown until 1t was four feet long.
1t Is averred that the hens began
Growing like ROSTERS and the pigs
barking like dogs, and this first EVIL
dence that something was wrong was
followed by horses, cattle, poultry
and even people pining away and
dying.
The climax came when Howell
Thomas himself died. Two daughters
were left-one spinster, the other
married. The former charged the lat
ter with having put the "hex witch
cat" on the property, and at the
funeral the two had grievous clash,
Aol SAo 4Cu 6l6COl I1lOU W OK.
pei from the house the married
"witch-sender."
The Thomases had been shooting
at the "hex" and though their aim
ordinarily was good. they seemingly
could not hit the strange cat. After
her fathers death, Miss Thomas held
conference with an unknown witch
doctor and announced that 1t had
been revealed that the reason the
bullets had not been effective was be-
cause they were lead. She followed
directions and nodded a solid gold
bullet out Of a f1ve-dollar gold piece.
But when the magic ballet was in
the gun ready for use, the cat failed
to reappear Miss Thomas and the
neighbors have lain in wait for the
"hex," but all in vain. Some declare
Its absence due to tho fact that too
many people have been wearing
crucifixes and talismans to protect
themselves. The affair became so
mysterious that the Pottsville Repub.
lican editorially asked complete
investigation.
The latest turn to the mysterious
case, however, la the most interest
Ing Of all. A black cat owned by a
Schuylkill Haven man has been found
by the "hex" doctors to be a "hexa-
hemeron cat" This cat ia said to
have been born on the 9Th day of
the sixth month In 1906, and to have
been one Of a litter Of six kittens
1t was blind only six days after be-
Ing born, whereas all ordinary cats
are blind nine days. The word
| hexahemeron Is taken from two
Greek words, "hex" and "hemera,"
and means completion in six parts.
f1t is usually used in referring to the
six days labor of Creation, as de.
scribed in the first chapter Of Genesis
While there are only five books in
Moses in the authorized Bible, the
hex doctors declare they have a
sixth book Of Moses. In this book the
witch of Endor ascribes full power to
the hexahemeron cat In warding off
evil spells.
It was declared that the "hex cat"
had beyond doubt an engagement
with the evil one, whereby 1t had i'm
parted to 1t an imp, or spirit. The
schuylkill Haven cat has never eaten
anything but toads. frogs, lizards
and serpents, and the hex doctors
| agreed that its presence will restore
the Thomas homestead to q normal
condition.