The Parker post., 1912-11-16
The
Misanthrope's S
Secret

ScroOge of the firm of ScroOge &
Marley, was not in the running with
Tom Terrence Tom had farms and
bank stock and township bonds and
was just rolling in money. And Uncle
Joe said Tom Terrence was too stingy
to get married and that he was the
closest man in a trade he had known
since old Hec was a pup. But I know
better.
For when 1 was a small, small boy,
Tom Terrence bought my soul and
thereafter l was his loyal slave unto
his dying day. When that purchase
was made Tom Terrence was a young
bachelor with laughing blue eyes and
4 smile that made small boy feel
good all over And he bought me in
his wise:
1t was the day had graduated from
pink slips" into the dear glory of a
plaid blouse suit. We were at the
county fair and Tom Terrence came
up and shook hands with father and
mother, and said, IVY, 1 amt seen
you for six years! Gee whiz! What's
this y'u got, a girl or boy?" And
they all laughed and Tom says, says
he, "Lemme take this youngster while
you old folks trail around and see the
display in the Agricultural Hail." And
Tom took me bodily, and in the next
lour he bought my soul.
Says he, 81 got some money that I
lon't know what to do with, less I
spend il on a small boy" And l said,
Have you enough money to buy
Shoof1y' box? They got candy and
)reastpins and gold dollars in 'em.
But they cost ten cents!" And Tom
iquinted his eyes and grinned and
iaid, "It's my treat" and bought the
Shoo-f1y' box, and in it was candy
md brass breastpin, but no gold dol
ar.
Then Tom said, "Now we'll take in
he show!" And we went in and saw
he fat woman and the living skeleton
md the man with the India rubber
kin And we saw live alligator and
hree monkeys and little couple that
we're called General and Mrs. Tom
Thumb.
Then he said, Lies go see the mig
ger minstrels. They sing and dance
md double shuttle and pick the banjo.
ever hear a banjo?" never had. "Is
something like a macordeum?" l
isked.
Like ma-cordeum? said Tom.
It's better-a heap better. But you
watch out that it don't put the devil
your toes!"
hung back The devil was a real
parsonage to me-a parsonage with
horns and big tusks and a cloven foot
and he sat on his long tail that had
singer on the end
Jaw, come on" said Tom. 81 was
Just foolin' meant banjo music is SO
inc IT makes you want to get up and
lance"
$50 We went in and heard the min.
strels. They cracked jokes I could not
understand, though Tom laughed at
them. But they sang strange, weird
melodies, war time and camp meeting
melodies. To me, who had never heard
tunes on Sundays when they had
preaching in the schoolhouse, it was
lndescribly fascinating And the ban.
jos-the next day when I nailed
board for a handle to my toy drum
and strung it with mothers best shoe
strings, mother exclaimed, For the
land sakes!" and then sat down and
la1,
of letting that boy trail around with
Tom Torrence!"
There was a tent where tintypes
were made. Only they called them
gems" want your picture took?'
queried Tom. "Yes," I said, 81 never
had one took since rs boy I got
one when rs a little girl and wore
dresses
Then Tom bought me grapes and
peaches = ripe, rosy-cheeked, fine
smelling peaches, full of juice and
flavor. And he bought peanuts-the
first 1 ever tasted And he asked me
what else wanted and said: n
never tasted bologna sausage. 1t
looks mighty good" So he bought bo,
logna and crackers and they tasted
then better than the fried chicken and
rolls mother had brought in a basket.
And on our way back to the family
wagon 1 tried to express my apprecia.
tion and said: "You must be mighty
rich, Tom," and the twinkle went out
of Toms eyes and he said: mo; but
I would be if l had a little boy like
you-who has a ma-like you have!"
But when he turned me over again
to my father and mother and mother
said: 81 know that boy has been
whole lot of bother to you, Tom" Tom
laughed and said: mo sire-ee nam!
/ amt had as much fun since Hec was
a pup"
That was years and years ago. Tom
Terrence grew old and had lands and
houses and bank stocks and bonds
and was a bank president, and died
Men said he was too stingy to marry