Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-05-05

This way, please. First-class battle
ship Oregon. Now kindly step this way
With all the air of one who knows. one
| of the old city delineators who hover In
| the vicinity of the public buildings near
the White House ready to pick up some
unWary traveller uttered these words tC
two strangers he was leading through
the long corridors of the large granite
building which houses the State, War and
Navy departments.
There was nothing unusual in those
words, except when the circumstances
are known under which they were used
The guide was in the vicinity Of five
glass cases just outside the Office Of the
Secretary of the Navy, which inclose the
models of as many naval vessels. Fol
lowing closely upon the guide with the
| two men was one who operates only in
the building. The latter was plotting a
large party of schoolgirls and was giving
a long talk before each case.
The little man with the two thought
that If his charges heard the long and
probably more correct spiel about the
ships they might believe him the little
mani an imposter and refuse his charges
The Oregon is no longer a first-class
battleship. but was the best fighter in
the last war.
But the city guide was a strategist and
carefully Unanswered his party out OF
the course of the building guide.
1t seems that any statement suits the
average visitor to Washington. just sc
| it refers to the thing he sees. The guides
| take people through the Navy Depart
ment and tell them about the ships which
are fully described on the cards attached
L 70 hn
contain more information than is told by
the guide Only the other day a party
| was ushered up before model of the
cruiser Brooklyn and the guide said: "A
| has three stacks and life saver (evi-
| IDENTIFY meaning a life buoy. The first
two stacks are for smoke. This way,
please
Say" drawled out one of his followers,
| why don't you tell us what the other
stack is for?'
THAT. sir. is to let air down in the
engine ROOM That explanation seemed
| to satisfy The people who get the most
enjoyment out of this continuous comedy
private door of the Secretary of the
Navy.
There is a new ambulance driver at
Garfield Hospital. The old one All! That
It's marvellous tale, as told by Matt Horn,
the invincible piano-phiend policeman: :.
Il was looking for you last week to tell
you the funniest story that the eighth
precinct has had for years. It's about
that ambulance driver at the hospital.
He got a call in the middle Of the night,
dressed himself, rushed to the stable
harnessed the horse and away he flew. He
drove all over most of Washington at
top speed, and when two policemen saw
him driving aimlessly about at Sth and
streets northwest they suspected some
WHATS the matter" one Of them
asked.
=" I got call for LIST and X Streets he
answered.
Ives, but this is Sth and T streets
"He didn't seem to take that in
There isn't any doctor on your am
bulance,' pursued one of the policemen.
lis that So? asked the driver. dream
lily.
''They took him back to the hospital
and made a search for the call on which
the driver hustled out. No one else had
heard of it. and the conclusion they
reached was that the driver had received
this call in q dream He was SO realistic
about It that the hospital people decided