davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

The Rev. pr. w. E. Evans, who is one of the most valued contributors to The Age-Heralds Sunday editorial section, will to physical indisposition. He has been aling for week or more and has thought it. best to give up his literary work until he entirely recovers. This announcement will cause sincere regret, but it is hoped and believed that Dr. Evans will be able to resume his contributions after two or three weeks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
HOW THEY RAN

From the St. Paul Dispatch.
 A lawyer was cross-examning an old German about the position of the doors, windows, aud so forth, in house in which a certain transaction occurred.
 And now my good man. said the law yer, twill you be good enough to tell the court how the stairs run in the house?"
 The German looked dazed and unsettled for moment.
 How do the stairs run?" he queried.
 "Yes, how do the stairs run?'
 ."Vell,"' continued the witness, after a moments thought, wen l am oopstairs dey run down, and ven l ain downstairs dey run oop.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
Shakespeare still Draws

"The question. can Shakespeare plays be made to draw in this musical comedy age? Is answered in the affirmative this season by the enormous box office receipts as the result of Sothern and Marlowe' S Shakespearean repertoire" said an old theatre goer.
 These histrionic artists have been play ing to crowded houses all the season. They have been playing all this week in New Orleans. They appear in Hamlet at the Jefferson theatre Monday night. The seat sale began Friday morning, and In less than three hours the parquet and balcony seats were all sold. There have been occasional rushes for other attrac- tions this season. but this Hamlet en- gagement is the record breaker. Shakes peare on the stage is much appre- ciated as ever when the actors are of the first rank.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
Needs Of Hotels

"It is surprising to me- stated c. D. White of New York, who represents Spalding's well known sporting goods house, that a city of the size, impor- tance and progressiveness of Birming- ham should tolerate poor hotels.
 People from the east hesitate about stopping in Birmingham because it is we'll advertised throughout the nation that the accommodations offered here are exceedingly poor.
 T am happy to learn that new hotels will be constructed in the near future. They are badly needed. There should be no delay. for the good name of this great city, in beginning the work"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

musicians. It is believed that if the city will make liberal appropria- tion, citizens will subscribe even more liberally than in the past, so as to have an augmented band play daily throughout the summer. Band play CTS usually make their summer ar engagements by the middle of April, and that being so, the movement for giving us open air music during the coming summer should be started very soon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
BREAIxING NEWS TO FREDERICK
From the Kansas city Times.

 The price of informing Frederick the Great of Prussia that his favorite horse had died was known to be death. All the attendants at the royal stables knew what it meant to tell tho King, and there was much reluctance shown. Each ser want in turn refused Finally one eouerry stepped forward and said that he wasn [ afraid to face the king and tell him the bad news.
 Well demanded Frederick, 'how is the horse?'
 Sir" replied the equerry, "the horse is in his usual place. He is lying down. He does not move. He has no strength. He does not eat. He does not drink. He does not sleep. He does not breathe. He does not"
 Then. indeed" cried the King, impa- tiently The must be dead.
 Your majesty has spoken truly" re- piled the groom calmly; "and it Is you, sir, who announced the fact
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
A FAREWELL

By Charles Kingsley. My fairest child, l have no song to
 give you; No lark could pipe to skies so dull
 and gray; Yet. if you will. one quiet hint I'll leave
 you,
 For every day. I'll tell you how to sing clearer carol Than lark who halls the dawn or
 breezy down; To earn yourself purer poets laurel Than Shakespeare's crown. Be good. sweet maid. and let who can be clever; Do lovely things, not dream them all
 day long, And so make Life, and Death. and that
 For Ever, One grand. sweet song.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
ME COULDN'T UNDERSTAND IT

From the Brooklyn Eagle.
 Bert Policeman. manager of Conan { Harris theatrical productions, used | live in Indiana, and at the Hotel Aston Manhattan, he told the Daughters of In diana in New York. who were banquetin there, story about the Hoosier poet James Whitcomb Riley.
 Riley used to tour the country wit Bill Nye in lecture courses. One night while the two were behind the scenes i the theatre of some eastern town. Rie got tired of waiting while Nye tried | make himself beautiful, and, tiptoein to the drop curtain, peered out into tn auditorium. He came, back to Nye' dressing room in consternation.
 . Great Scott! he Whispered, this awfulA There aint a1peaky handful c people out there, Bin!n
 'e'I don't know why. there isn't, Jim replied Nye. drearnily. continuing | 'wrassle' with his tie, we've never bee here before. D
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
SLEEP.

SLEEP In shadowy lane I wandered. By the walls of Twilight Town, And dubiously pondered On life's thorn-woven crown. Ere long sweet voice sounded 1 know not whence it came; By phantom forms surrounded l heard 1t breathe my name. Why wait without the portal, By earthly cares opprest? Know ye not, weary mortal, In Dreamland there is rest?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELoR

In this world spunk gets away with spiritualitys
 4 All a girl needs to want to be called wllowy is to be as thin as fence rail.
 The only money most people can keer is the counterfeit somebody has worked off on them
 A man will take somebody elses rules for his religion, but he wants his own for his smoking.
 The biggest nuisance of all is tne fellow who wants you to do his way the things you like to do your way.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
BLOCKING TRAFFIC

From Judge.sf
 There were times when Melee gloried in the fact that he was the father of nine children even if they were on the lines of the proverbali human stepladder; but on the day when he was taking them out for a walk he felt ehagrined
 He was walking along at fairly good gait when he. was halted by policeman, who asked:
 ''I say. you, what you been doin'?''
 Nothing" replied McFee. "Why?"
 Well, what's the crowd following you for?" ao
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
SIR WALTERS PIPE SOLD

r IU11l ITIe ATBOHuut. V -7--- . n
 The Indian pipe that Sir Walter Ra- leigh smoked up to the time bf his execu- tion has just been sold in London for nearly sleo. Two years ago sleo0 was of fered for the pipe and refused. It's value was reduced considerably by the loss of parchment giving it's history. The pipe is iq four parts. the stem. bowl. bowl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

An officer of the New York Central rail- road says that since December B weather conditions have been the severest that state has known in ss years.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
HE HAD NOTHING ON SANDY

From Punch.
 A Scotch gamekeeper who had been left in charge of an estate was being questioned by an English visitor.
 Are there many deer on the place?'' Hundreds, sir
 Many hares?''
 Thousands, sir?"
 Well, now, are there many gorillas ?' asked the Englishman, .satirically.
 For a moment the gamekeeper hesi- tated, then he replied, .sWeel, sir. they they come like yersel, just moo and then"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
POPULAR MAGAZINE POSE.

Just a moment, please. I'd like to have another look al that picture on the pageSyou have just turned over"
 "Ahl I thought 1t was a woman with the toothache, but I see it is merely tragedy queen holding her face with both hands,"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

The table of delegates to date stands 9S Taft. Roosevelt. contested. But only 3 per cent of the delegates have thus far been elected.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
THE LAST STRAW,

The man stood with his hands up while the brisk highwayman went through him.
 "rhank you. said the knight of the gun as he slipped the loot into his DOCK cts. Your patience during this ordeal deserves the highest praise.'
 "Is that all?" inquired the victim.
 The highwayman suddenly started.
 That reminds me- he said. I'm tax inf- straw vote of presidential pref erences-what's yours?" Whereupon the patient citizen fell upon the ruffian with tremendous fury and beat him up. and took his gun away from him, and flung him down. and cleaned out his pockets and left him ly-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

These be peculiar times. The railroads that once carried whole convictions on passes will not now make reduced rates for delegates.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
NED BRACE TALKS ABOUT GETTING
 TOGETHER AND THE WAY TO DO r

No matter in what walk of life we when we feel clean and think we lo well we hold our heads high and wa somebody to look at us.
 Let's make Birmingham that way.
 < # *
 In the business way-with the me chants and the men who deal in re estate and rentals-it is the same wa Let us all get together and pull for oi end; and when we achieve that. the will be enough to go all around for Il men who have done and will do the duty.
 The fakir and the talker and the m; who produces merely the light of talk no more the man of the present day ths the man who flashes red light upon u stretched canvass across the way al produces picturesque pictures.
 We of Birmingham are down to u point where what we do must be massi- and of lasting quality. Let us do wh We do well and make it well worthy the praise and the plaudits of those VI view it.
 One who looks about in buildings, the downtown district. sees work VI done. Let us do everything in that styl That Birminghams work shall be ,astii and well, will always be insisted upon
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
STYLES.

STYLES. We wonder if She'll soon be due, The maiden in The peek k-a-boo?
 Birmingham Herald. She'll soon be here, She will, by heck! And in her trail The rubberneck.
 Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

No one north of the cotton belt Is bold erough to announce fracture of yer tebrae that has been rampant since Christmas.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

Mr Taft may as we'll get in q frame of mind to ride down Pennsylvania avenue pext March alongside MT. Underwood.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
HERE'S A SUFFERER.

cannot sing the old songs
 1 sang long years ago; It spells a singers voice to spend
 Two months in shoveling snow.
 L. G. A. in the Chicago Tribune. cannot sing the old songs,
 My heart is far from gay; 'Tis true we have no snow down here' But rain falls every day
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

The termination of the groundhog's six weeks is now a matter of deep interest tb all farmers at least
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
RATHER COOL.

He swore her smile was like the sun to him."
 And she?" stroke"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

| gloves of diplomatic language in setting 1t forth, draws an audience of proportions and the more he pounds the men of his congregation. the more of them follow one another down to the altar after the services to congratulate him upon his sermon.
 The world is made up of men who want to be praised and men who are afraid of being pounded. The latter class mentally always want to get Into the first class.
 So let us all get into the first class and each take our own share of praise for what we can do to make our fellow Ala bamian President.
 And this reminds me of word oi praise for one George Ward and the worl, he did when Mayor to make Birmingham the City Beautiful" He started a splen- did work and right now, as spring is bulg- ing upon us. is the time for the men and women not only of Birmingham, but of every town in Alabama to begin to beau tify-to clean the streets, plant lawns and flowers, cut out here and there, and add about shrubs and bulbs and the pret- ty things that bring smiles and are condu- cive to laughter rather than frowns, Ie, us put laundered shirt and collar upon our premises as well as upon ourselves
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

Santo Domingo and Hayti occupy one island, and they are by turns bad. Just now it is Santo Domingo's turn.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

The south pole has been spotted, but 1t league at the other end of the earth.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

2 President Taft proposes to put an end to the kicking of his nomination aroun if he has to work the steam roller 10 hours day
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

J. Pierpont Morgan has won the heart of the coutnry at last by placing his art collections where the people can see them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

A Mexican silver dollar is worth but cents besides to get to a dollar dinner,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

It has been decided that MT. Taft's cab to train for the oratorical season.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

This winter has broken all the records and 1t need not stay on the job any longer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

Not 10 per cent of Floridas land Is under cultivation and some of 1t is not even under water.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

China has ordered 1H,00o American hats. and none of them are of the cooked variety.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

All the poles of the earth have been discovered at last, thanks to the stars.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

Lorimer is supporting Mr. Taft. The friends of the latter are not mentioning the fact.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
HOPEFUL

HOPEFUL. The sun will soon be shining On meadows green and fair. Therell be an end to pining And gladness everywhere. Blue skies will bend above us, All nature smile below; Dark days are sent to prove us And won't last long, I know.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

No man who has stumped the country has up to today been elected President.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
FAR AHEAD.

They put on great deal of style, Do you suppose they live within their income?"
 NO. Not even within sight of it.v
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
WANTED. A BALMY DAY.

get so tired of cloudy skies
 And ain-drops ever falling Upon a world of sobs and sighs,
 Its gloom our hearts enthralling. Most glad I'd be to see the sun
 Bright through rift outpeeping, Gay little tads some races run
 And cats on porches sleeping.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

The standpatters say the colonel is gull ty of hyper-populism.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
PAS GUESS.

''Pa, who was the Man in the Iro Mask'?p
 Probably some baseball catche son. Now run along and play"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
MoMENroIrs EVENT.

MOMFN IOUS E v LIN T. "Confound his picture! Where is that office boy of ours?''
 What time is it?"
 Four thirty. Why do you ask 2" "A train from the East is due at thu, hour. The office boy has probably gone to the station to see new baseball pitcher arrive"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
ALL THE WAY TO cHEToPA.

A womans voice came over the tele- phone wire to the city editor. Mrs. Catherine Blank has returned from an extended eastern trip" said the voice, obviously the property of Mrs. Blank. Where in the east?" queried the city editor. Does that make any differ ence?" was the reply, showing trace of annoyance. Tt is much better to be defnite." explained the city editor. Well, different places" was Mrs. Blanks defiant answer. And this one,' she added, MT. and Mrs. Caleb Jones returned with her and will be her guests Where do MT. and Mrs. Jones liver" insisted the city editor. "Chetopa," !" she replied faintly. Thus Mrs. Blank s "extended eastern trip" develops to have extended at least as far east as Chetopa and possibly even to Galena or Pittsburg, Kas. Do the readers laugh at Mrs Blank or at the newspaper when her "extended eastern trip" is mention ed? That's easy. The newspaper re- eeives the jeers. And that is why Mrs. Blanks extended eastern trip" Wat, not mentioned as such in the Journa1. -Coffeyville, Kas., Journal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

and bowl fit. It is foot in length and weighs a pound. Faces of Indians, dogs and what appears to be monkeys are carved on 1t. Attached to the stem as part of it is whistle that gives shrill call. The entire pipe is of wood.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
THE ULTIMATE CONSUMER.

A little pig to market went
 Apd met fate most dreary; As potted meat in can was pent,
 To make ye boarder merry.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
AQA1,ueQ

ing helpless in the gutter.-c1evelan Plain Dealer -
 FEEL PREDICTION. Now, here's a thought
 To make one dizzy: The vernal bards
 VIII soon get busy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

K TOW comes the time for each county IN in Alabama to select delegates to
 state convention the delegates to which are in turn to select delegates to the National Democratic convention at Baltimore.
 Let the Underwood sentiment be so pre- dominant as to oyershadow all local dif- ferences in politics. Let us all cast aside our personal preJudices and bangings of one another. Let us forget that we once said to the bad place for the other fellow and go forward as a solid phalanx for the great object In view; showing the world that Alabama is solid body for Under wood and that we are determined to make him the next President of the United States.
 The opportunity and the man are with us. ssbserve all petty interests to that one victory.
 # # #
 Having won 1t, then every Tom, Dick and Harry who would scrap with Pete, Pat and Paul may do so to his hearts content. They may then take clubs. bare fists or printers ink and pound and pound. And, if announced in advance, there will be an audience for every exhibition and root CTS for every combatant. The old blood ex- ists in the human frame still. Even the minister of the gospel who announces an expose, and that he will don the boxing ...s.....s...s......... ......s..s.............. cover, and piece into which both stem and bowl ft It is foot in length and weighs a pound. Faces of Indians, dogs and what appears to be monkeys are
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

London is at present city of scared shopkeepers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10

An officer of the New York Central rail. road says that since December B weather conditions have been the severest thai state has known in 3s years. l These be peculiar times. The railroads that once carried whole convictions on passes will not now make reduced rates for delegates. The table of delegates to date stands 9S Taft. Roosevelt. contested. But only per cent of the delegates have thus far been elected.
 No one north of the cotton belt is bold erough to announce a fracture of a yer tebrae that has been rampant since Christmas.
  l President Taft proposes to put an end to the kicking of his nomination aroun if he has to work the steam roller 10 hours day. J. Pierpont Morgan has won the heart of the ooutnry at last by placing his art collections where the people can see them. The south pole has been spotted, but 1t will prove no more valuable than its col league at the other end of the earth.
  It has been decided that MT. Taft's cab met team will not come south this year to train for the oratorical season.
  santo Domingo and Hayti occupy one island, and they are by turns bad. Just now it is Santo Domingos turn.
  The termination of the groundhog's six weeks is now matter of deep interest tb all farmers at least.
 
 Not 10 per cent of Florida's land is under cultivation and some of 1t is not even under water
 -s--- Lorimer is supporting MT. Taft. The friends of the latter are not mentioning the fact.
 Chna mas ofdefed l44,WU Aineflcdn hats, and none of them are of the cooked variety.
 This winter has broken all the records and 1t need not stay on the job any longer.
 --------s'---------T No man who has stumped the country has up to today been elected President.
  All the poles of the earth have been discovered at last thanks to the stars.
  The standpatters say the colonel is gull ty of hyper-populism. London is at present city of scared shopkeepers.
 ------s.----- The selection of a pivotal state Is now in order
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-10
GETTING IDEAS

The selection of a pivotal state is now in order.
The Ely miner., 1912-03-29
NO WORDS WASTED
A Swift Transformation Briefly De-
scribed.

About food, the following brief but
emphatic letter from Georgia WON.
an goes straight to the point and Is
convincing.
MY frequent attacks of Indigestion
and palpitation of the heart cul-
minated in sudden and desperate I'll
ness, from which / arose enfeebled in
mind and body. The doctor advised
me to live on cereals, but none of
them agreed with me until l tried
Grape-Nuts food and Postum.
"The more used of them the more.
/ felt convinced that they were Just
what / needed, and in a short time
they made different woman of me.
My stomach and heart troubles disap-
peared as if by magic, and my mind
was restored and is as clear as 1t ever.
was.
Il gained flesh and strength so rap
idly that nay friends were astonished.
Postum and Grape-Nuts have benefited,
me SO greatly that l am glad to bear
this testimony" Name given by
Postum Co., Battle Greek, Mich.
There's reason" and it is explained
In the little book, 'Tae Road to Well.
ville," in Pkgs.
Ever read the above Ietters new.
one appears from time to time. They,
are genuine, true, and fun Of hvnaz
interest
The Ely miner., 1912-03-29
HIGH MASONIC OFFICER DYING
SAMUEL E. ADAMS, OF MiNNEAP.
OILS SERIOUSLY ILL.
Minneapolis Man Has One OF the
Highest Masonic Offices In
the World.

Minneapolis. Samuel Emery
Adams, lieutenant grand commander
of the Scottish Rite Masons OF
the southern jurisdiction of the
United States. Masonic honor Sec
ond only to grand commander in this
country, who has been resident of
Minneapolis since 1855, is seriously ill
at lis home here, and his physicians
fear that he will not survive.
Mr. Adams is SO years old and was
taken seriously i'll two weeks ago with
complication of troubles. He had
been in poor health some time. He
is unconscious and he has weakened
noticeably.
Mr.. Adams is an active" thirty
third degree Mason, there being only
about thirty such in the supreme coun-
Gil, southern jurisdiction, mother coun-
Gil of the world, which includes all
the United States south of Mason and
Dixon's line or west of the Mississippi
river. He is inspector general for
Minneapolis Scottish Rite bodies. He
is well known throughout the state
and has held many public offices and
positions of trust
The Ely miner., 1912-03-29
MINIMUM WAGE PASSES
British Measure Goes Through Third
Reading by Vote of 213 to 4e.

London, March pa fateful day in
the history of British trade struggles
came to a close early with the passage
through parliament, by large major
ity, of the bill establishing in legisla-
ton the principle of a minimum wage
in the countrys most important in
dustry.
The minimum wage bill passed it's
third reading in the house of commons
by a vote of 213 to 4S, amid a scene
of great excitement The house of
lords reassembled to receive the bill
and on motion of Lord Herschell it
passed it's first reading.
After a strike lasting nearly a
month and involving the whole coal
country in untold distress the miners
have thus secured recognition of the
principle which they set out to obtain
But they are still dissatisfied because
the bill does not specify the amount
of the minimum wage. Thus there is
no prospect of an immediate settle
ment of the strike.