The Washington herald., 1912-01-21
By JAMES FRANK LYMAN.

Inere are three quallhcauons
necessary to a clubbing expedition
"a thirst, another thirst, and a
third thirst. OF course, a club men,
Der who can get you in the club is
advisable. Then, too, it is well to
be accoutered with money. But
without the thirst naught is posi-
bic. Thus it was that in our inves-
tigation of Washington's clubs
the heterogeneous collection of
hermitages where the genus male
foregathers, lives, and has his be-
ing-Manz and | did not achieve
what we might have achieved.
First to the Cosmos.
Whether It be the Cosmos, where seri-
Gus scientists scintiIIate in their Pile
thOric and stately fashion. or the Metro
politan. where society both American and
foreign flowers amid luxury, or the spor-
tive Chevy Chase, Nwhere the baying
hounds and driven golf balls lend spice
10 the routine OF Observation-Disclosures
il De any Of these or any other that
thirst must be with We.
We started out with no greater pur-
pose than to learn the idiosyncrasies of
Clubdom., We had heard. even as YOU
have heard, of the solemnlty of the
Cosmos, the spleudor of the Metropolitan.
the devilishness Of the National Repuub-
lican. What We wanted was a peek be-
hind the curtains. And with this idea
We started
Now, drifting through clubdom is no
easy matter. Our glimpse Of the Metro
pOlitan, for instance, was momentary. We
reached the sacred place that stands on
the southwest corner Of Seventeenth and
II streets, and through the kindness Of
one of the members, were given a
glimpse of the great assembly room that
occupies almost all of the first floor. The
hour was p. m. Men, whose names are
known to every class Of society hurried
in and out, while on the snow-covered
street the steady. unceasing whirr OF
myriad automobiles suggested a big pub
lie function.
Some Luminaries These.
The room itself was like the great hall
OF some medieval castle. Its stately
severity. gives the effect OF grandeur
and of good taste, which is more i'm
portant-that could not be obtained by
a trainIoad Of Louis XVI and Chippen-
dale. As We stood there the member
pointed out a surgeon, known through
out America for his wonderful achieve
ments, a diplomat on whose words the
press of two nations would base opinions,
a member Of the Senate, and half
dozen lesser. lights.
The surgeon was telling a story. His
bald head shOne under the brilliant lights
and his hearty laugh rang out to the
basso accompaniment Of the diplomat and
the Senator. Arm in arm they strolled
=. ~
chairs were other groups Of men, The
whole picture was OF quietude. dignity,
and culture. 4 temple of Mammon? Why
so? Why shouldn't a rich man have his
club as well as poor man?
We didn't stay there long. A few
blocks away was the good old Army and
Navy Club, the place where the geelorious
defenders of this alphabetically free ma
ton remove the ramrods from their YER
tebrae and act like human beings. To
enter here was comparatively simple.
Manz is acquainted with an army lieu
tenant who is democratic and not a bit
particular.
Gladly" he said. looking at me. Did
I say he wasn't particular. Well
Fine "0ld Gunpowder."
We entered the habitat Of admirals
and embryonic admirals, of generals and
Eenerals-to-be. and we received the
Beverest shock OF our lives. There was
& grim piratical looking man in the
trappings OF his Office, who was laughing.
This same man chews nails every day
from 9 a. m. to 4:S0 p. m. in his office in
the Navy Department. old Gunpowder"
they call him. Seated around him were
more of the grim-visaged officers. all en-
joying some tale he was telling.
All through the club was this note of
gayety. There didn't seem to be serious
man in the place. Upstairs in the library
two young officers were refighting the
last Army-Navy football battle on a
checkerboard. and apparently having the
time of their lives in so doing.
Our guide led US TO a corner where sat
q MAXWELL. he isn't considered amiable,
20 put in mildly. In response to the open
ing words Of the introduction he arose
and beRmed.
You're not army men?" he began.
No, Indeed; Not MANI.
''N-n-no," said MANI shrinkingly. Manz
seemed to think the major was going to
shoot on the slightest indication OF a
breach Of etiquette. I was standing be-
hind Manz, who is not much of shelter,
but better than nothing.
We work for a living" I explained.
The major reached for a button. MANI
Jumped apprehensively.
What WILL II be?' he asked, and he
started to- recount something. Had he