Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

When a man wears good clothes it's
a zinc h a somebody has to work for
them. either himself or his wife.
Anne Hillikef's nose is so red that
1T Slnges his muStache. Anne WAS
r0ugh up i'll a drug store county.
You can't always judge the neigh
Dor by the clothes that hang out on
the line.
No Teller kin be classed as among
the truly rich until ne has been called
to testif.y before the campaign fund
investigating committee.
1t is a durn sight easier to run an
oatmobile than it is To buy one.
Most women worry more about
whether the rubber plant is going to
freeze than they do about who's go
ing to be elected president.
After Il feller has learned to run "A
a locomotive gives him the least trou.
BILE.
a Teller who thinks that the horse
is down and out ought to go and try
to buy one.
WHEN A FELLER'S in LOVE.
When a feller's in love. it's d dandy
old world:
There is JOY and content in the
breeze.
All his trouble and woes to the four
winds are hurled
And h birds sweetly chirp in the
trees.
When she lays her blond head on a
fellers broad chest
And h say that she loves him for
fair:
That he is her Lochinvar out of the
Then he feels like a quadmillionaire.
When a feller's in love he will talk
like a nut.
And he writes stuff that amt fit to
Print;
He will walk down the street with an
important strut
Just as though he could buy out a
mint.
He will put on his collar and necktie
by gum
Seven days in the week and he'll
primp
And he'll put his old savings account
And he'l act like a regular s;mp.
He will swallow the CUFF that she
feeds him 80 we'll
She a lead him around by the
nose.
She can make him jump through when
n works her wierd spell.
She can lead him right ON to repose.
She can throw him down in a flint
hearted way.
She car turn him right out in the
cold.
She can pass back his ring in a name
rats gay.
And can spurn his affection and gold.
When a %feller's in love he's a true
candidate
For the insane asylum no doubt,
There is never a cure for the dippy
love state;
1t has just got to wear itself out.
He Is lOoney. he's batty. bereft of his
sense,
He's as shy of gray matter above
AS the tomcat who yells on q back
alley fence, ~
Yes. he is. when a feller's in love.
THE DIFFERENCE.
When a pusson has got money. go
where'er he may.
1t is: "Howdy. Misto Johnsing.
won't you step dis way?
Come right up an jine de party. have
a good cigah,
And a little lobstah suppah an a
auto car"
Other times he may be achin' fo. a
meal and smoke,
But he never gifts invited when he's
clean dead broke.
When a p~usson's got a bank roll dat
would choke a boss,
holler: "Howdy. Boss"
He kin drink an play de races an
shoot craps a lot.
An de people merely murmur: Oats
a way he's got"
But dey won't stan 1t a minute FUN
a cheap skate moke.
Fob deys always got a hannah TO-
de guy what's broke.
Now. IL TO q watahmillion should a
pore man pine.
An should 60 an lift it gently from
de rich mans vine.
He'd git ninety days in prison or per-
Now de rich man steals a million az
a f~inancier,
An de folks dey make a hero OF de-
old rich bloke;
But it's different Wild de pusson VIII
am clean dead broke.
Now dere am a good time comm TO-
de ten cent guys.
An de rich folks dey will learn II
wild a deep surprise.
II dey chance to 80 to Glory. deyll
9 pore folks there.
All a-playin' harps an wearin' Of de
crown y rare.
An de rich KANT buy no better ones
70 here's de Joke.
When 1t comes to flashin' money
deyli be all dead broke.
THE NAN WORTH WHILE.
When you have seven MILLIONS.
And lead the cotillions
And have 10 automobiles,
And live in q mansion
With room for e~xpanSiOn
And know how true luxury feels:
When you're like ]. p. Morgan
And have q pipe organ
To play during ali Of your meals:
When you're robust and healthy
And wOndrOusly wealthy
And not chained In an, man.s