The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-04-14

after tomorrow.
After the debutantes of the future
have paraded around. each wheeling
a baby carriage quite large enough
for her own use. these music monsters
come trotting In on oil four fect
stopping in the centre of tho stage
| to turn somersault. At the very
end OF the line of boys. comes the lit
TEST boy OF all. sage little John
Swartwout, aged four. CARRIED In his
fuzzy bearskin and enveloped in an
atmosphere OF unfalterinE determine
ton. lie is about twenty measures
OF music behind the others, but It is
far from his mir 1 to exhibit an un-
! seemly haste,
with that somerset" firmly fixed in
his baby brain, he solemnly advances
TO the mattress spread for the protec-
tion OF tender heads and bodies. tucks
his little snout into his chest and rolls
deliberately over on his side, while the
audience roars. He didn't turn all tho
way over, and no knows IT. He was
told to turn clean over. and oil the
noisy laughter of all the silly grown
people in the world can atop him until
he does 1t.
Come on, John. get into line" calls
hiss Stewart, between sobs OF laugh
Ter. Now that lady is wrong" thinks
turn clean somerset fore 1 gets into
line and he goes to II again. Undis-
turbed and sure In his conyiction or
the right way to do that part, he
sticks his solemn little poll into the
mattress, elevates the latter por ton OF
his little self as high as his chubby
legs win allow. gives a frantic push
with his furry hind paws and he is
over with soft thump Gat on his back.
On goes the music, up gets John
Deliberate and unperturbed, he wends
his unhurr!ed way to tho al Ia OF the
little blonde doll who has been await
Ing his return, and. at the signal which
notifies each bear that he must hug
the unterritied and dainty doll oppo-
site him. stout John reaches out his
baby arms and calmly. literally and
without fear or favor, places them
about the baby neck opposite his and
chokes tho delighted Infant honored
BY his masculine attentions.
And no fear OF the future intrudea
upon her feminine happiness, no dawn
Ing desire to mar her ecgtaoy-
that wonderful. ail-powerful being
known to her as John has just Rugged
her. Let others throw bricks and
smash windows; let them toll and grow
Tired In the public forum: let them
wear white ribbons and parade with
banners and big drums. while ribald
boys shrek piercing pleasantrtes. II
matters not to her: nothing else In all
the world matters, for John, her John,
has just choked her with his loving
stranGle-hold.
He is the bear on the right end.
Please. please watch himl
King of the IIirmess
One Of the most interesting person
ages OF the Kirmess will be the suo-
cessor to that illustrious potentate.
King Henry Valentine L, OF recent car
niVal fame. whose sceptre. crown and
royal mantle have fallen upon tho
shoulders of King Fuller l., who Is also
assistant czar OF tho post-omce
His Majesty's apparel will rival that
OF the eminent Sam Stern, the un.
crowned Mayor of Richmond. In such
loving esteem does King Fuller l. hold
his varlets. serfs. henchmen, letter car
rlers. politicians. knights, mail clerks,
subjects, suiragettes and other voters
that he intends that his whole royal
OUTFIT will be furnished by the mer-
chants OF this goodly city. With that
end In view. King Fuller L Will give
orders that his royal collar and his
imperial pair of Sunday socks shall h,
dry" He has commanded the royal
physician to prescribe only "Rexall
Remedies" including perfumes and
scented soaps The royal purveyor will
instruct the royal tobacconist to send
to His Majesty only kingly smokes.
such as Sovereign Cigarettes, Principe
dc Gales, Henry w, Prince George
and Royal Bengal Cigars. with Sultanas
and Harms for Oriental and leisure
moments. The Kings royal pantaloons
VIII be pressed at The Grown Press
ing Club: his imperial figure Will DO
kept princely and shapely by the
princess stays" whils his royal feet
will gisten in Regal shoes" Instead
OF using an alarm clock, tho King 81
Richmond viii use a box OF Royal
Early Rising Baking Powder. His
bath Will DO heated with the Majestic
Range. and he will cook his matinal
pcrkchop and his Klng-an's breakfast
bacon on q Monarch heater. 1t should
not bs forgotten that King Fuller l..
wears Monarch shirts and Monarch ho-
siery. end that his stenographer. Miss
King, uses Monarch typewriter and
Queen Quality shoes Tho King OF
Richmond and Emperor OF Manchester
will givo ordera that no Will drink