davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25
LOTS OF MEN LIKE THIS

From hryloH ' dpies.
 An elephant was being taken through the streets, probably as a sight It is well known that elephants are a wonder among us; so crowds of gaping iders followed the elephant. From some cause or other, a pug dog comes to meet him. It looks at the elephant, and then be- gins to run at it. to bark, to squeal, to try to get at it. just as if it wanted to fight it.
 'Neighbor, cease to bring shame on yourself says another dog. Are you capable of fighting an elephant? Just see now, you are already hoarse; but 1t keeps straight and pays you not the slightest attention
 Aye, aye;' replies the pug dog, that's just what gives me courage Tn tals way. you see. without fighting at all, | may get reckoned among the greatest bullies. Just let the dogs say:
 "Ah, look at Puggy! He must be strong, indeed. that's clear, or he would never barksat an elephant
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25
The Enect of sunshine

Weather like we are having this week will soon make the farmers forget the backward spring" said a Birmingham merchant who owns a farm between Bir- mingham and Montgomery.
 ''The farmers have been very much de- pressed, but there is time enough to make a fairly good cotton crop and to raise some corn, but the corn crop cannot be anything like up to last years.
 Cotton will be higher than it is now, and 1t will be far more profitable than last years crop.
 T predict hot weather for May and June. The wet spring has caused a se- rious loss to the trucking interests, but the big farmers will probably come out very well at the end of the year."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 The only real democracy Is the democ- racy of misery.
 It's much better to start anything with a little common sense than lot of wis dom.
 A stout woman is perfectly willing te admit she has not lost much if the gair was nine pounds.
 If folk weren't so busy loving them selves they'd find ever so much more to love in other people
 X woman is a lot more afraid of her husband catching a cold in the head than of herself catching pneumonia.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

bor. Railroads are not receiving any higher freight rates; the manufacturers of iron. steel, and metal products are receiving lower prices, and the same IS true of our great textile industries. The large profits represented by the hish prices have gone principally to the farmer and to the retail dealer.
 Hence it is that the railroad, the man ufacturer, and the other great employers of labor are wondering why they should pay the bill involved in the higher cost of living"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25
 TRUE.

TRUE. oh, life is such weary way The woeful brother sighed. I'm in land where troubles stay. By sorrow sorely tried. No sunny gleams Hume my path, No song is in my heart; On me grim Fate no pity hath, Some kindness to impart. "Oh, life is such a weary way, The woeful brother cried. I'm still defeated in the fray, My fondest wish denied. Oh, why should I endure so much, In agony so bitter?' The answer should have been, You're
 such
 An undeserVing quitter."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

Miss Fola LaFonette scored heavily when she recently asked an audience if Jane Addams as senator wouldn't be an improvement on Lorimer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

A Michigan man killed himself because his wife talked too much. It is difficult to draw the line, although every woman is interested in knowing how much she can talk without becoming a widow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25
KANSAS SCHOOL FoR POLITICIANS

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
 Three setter puppies have been enrolled as students in the University of Kansas and have taken their places alongside a Maltese cat. We suppose the students will graduate and in time become pro- gressive republicans.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

The grip that Woodrow Wilson lost was not the one he lost in the office of Har- pers Weekly.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

On the new route liners will be from nine to IA hours longer in crossing the Atlantic. The difference is immaterial to the globe trotter
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

Theodore Roosevelts cheek in ignoring the tariff question will yet prove to be the weak point of his campaign.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

The inflated Payne tariff is still defend- ed by the Lodges and Penroses of the Senate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

Now that Rudyard Kipling has come out against home rule the success of the government bill is assured.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

Marconi stands out as one of the worlds greatest benefactors, and his fame will increase as the years go on.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

The Barons are not in the first division. but a change or two in the lineup may put them there. Keep a stiff upper lip.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25
UNDERwooD's CLEAR ANALYSIS

Judson Harmon begins to consider this a backward spring.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

Senator Cummings four delegates will give him a standing in the presidential records of this year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

Ocean vessels have been asked to carry at least two wireless operators, so that the instrument can be operated continu- ously.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

MT. 1smay should be asked to show his ticket on the Titanic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

The southern postmasters had no inf1u- ence in Nebraska and Oregon. They are strictly local.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25
REQUIEM

By Robert Louis Stevenson. Under the wide and starry sky Dig the grave and let me lie; Glad dids | live and gladly die, And I laid me down with a will.
 be-the verse you grave for me:
 he lies where he longed to be; ffp is the sailor, home from the sea, And lse hunter home from the hill.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

The g. O. D. will hit an iceberg in No vember that will discount any from Green lands icy mountains.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25
FAVoRITE FICTIoN.

fANORIIE FlCIlON. 'All Aboard for a Ride Around the Parks Going Right Out!" Self Cleaning Pipes"
 Honest, I Thought I'd Die!' "Yes. Sir, Here's a Pair of Calfskin Shoes for S2. 2.49e
 I'm All Ready but Doing Up My Hair, William; Ill Be Down in Minute" Gentlemen. Shall Lay Down the Bur dens of This Office With Joy" Yes, Indeed, Mrs. Jipes: Fido Under stands Every Word I Say."-Chicago Tribune.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

Nearly as many men of late seem to know how to run ship as ordinarily know how to run a newspaper.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25
An undeserving quitter. :"
IN A DIFFERENT SENSE.

IN A DIFFERENT SENSE. T understand Puffersbulk was a re- markably small baby" He must weigh over two hundred pounds now"
 No doubt he does. but a great many people say he is remarkably small man"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

An American woman piloted the first airship across the English channel-the first one by woman.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

After all, icebergs are not half as dan gerous as automobiles
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

Passengers are counting lifeboats and life rafts as they never did before.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

The wireless Is fast being considered the greatest invention of the age.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25
THE "sUFFRAGETTED FuTURE.o ,

imaginative people no doubt have all ready hgured out the suffragetted future' when some Titaness shall sink and the brave officeress at the nfeboats shall re- strain the excited women with: stand back, lasses, men and children first!- Houston Post.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25
NoTABLEs,

NOIABLES. You've heard what chanced To Jack and Jill. They're head-lined now In ''vaw-de-ville. Jacks crown is we'll He does a dance; Jill warbles some With roguish glance. They dress" their act In costly way And don't Ego on'' But twice a day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

The> death toll of the lower Mississippi is almost titanic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25
AIAREgT WITH THE TIM

WE Net5UEE How can a man Bewail his fate, Who still has time To dig some bait And fishing go
 Down sunny lanes, Where birds uplift Their glad refrains?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

STORY THE BRAKEMAN TELLS.
 The Hot Springs Express pulled into Cofeyville from the North half an hour late early Sunday morning. A tired wom- an lugging a telescope and two small and sleepy children started to climb aboard the chair car.
 Where to?" demanded the brakeman guarding the entrance.
 "Home." gasped the tired woman and she struggled up the steps.
 The brakeman smilingly let her go. Not as bad as the man in Claremore the other day. he said to another pas senger.
 Instead of asking him Where to? said What station, please?'
 "I ain't certain, he said I'm Just passing through here, but I believe they call the town Claremore. ."-Coffeyville Journal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25
CoNsOLING THOUGHT.

coNsoLING THOUGHT. Some soulful stuff The poets write, But most .of it Ne'er sees the light Of public print. Hot from the press. We should be glad Of that, I guess.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

BEHOLD HIM. Behold the ballad master On s forehead is a curl. He's just a poetaster And sings the working girl.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25
TELEPHONES

He'll (private exchange connecting all departmcnts), No. 4900.
 Peoples; Editorial rooms, 231j busi- ness office, 230.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

z. E. Morgan and W. G. Wharton are the only authorized travelling represen- tatives of The Age-Herald in its cireu- lation department.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

SINGULAR.
 A Kansas store advertises ,aan excellent baked beam Among other wares no doubt that store contains a 'keen-cut- ting scissor" and a east iron pant"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

No communication will be published without its authors name. Rejected manuscript will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

MAYBE. The summer girl Will soon be here And we'll avow She's just a dear. A winsome maid And wondrous sweet, Who's almost good Enough to eat
 PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, postoffice as second class matter under act of Congress March 3, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-25

Daily and Sunday Age-Herald. ... $500 Daily and Sunday. per month, " paily and sunday. three months. 200 Sunday e-Herald. 200 Weekly Age-Herald, per annum.. .SO
 S,,hrnri,nrin,A m "a hla In adVnnce.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-07-19
South Jersey Siftings

The Gloucester County Board of Free
holders has asked the County Board OF
Taxation to raise by taxation for the
County's use the coming year, the sum OF
$4,000. Last year the appropriation
was $l20, 600.
Senator J. Warren Davis. of Salem
county, representing a large number of
signers has filed a petition in the Cum
bertrand County Courts for the revocation
OF the licence of the Port Norris Hotel,
kept by Mrs. f. Davis, on the charge
that the bar has been operated contrary
to law. The proprietor is represented by
former Senator ]. Boyd Avis, and a hear
ing will be held next Monday.
Edward L. Sturgess, clerk OF Glou-
cester county, has announced his candi-
dacy for a denomination 1t has been
customary for Republicans to give the
second nomination without contest.
County Superintendent Of Public
Schools Henry M. Gresham, of Egg. Har-
Dor City, has been %reappointed by State
Commissioner Calvin H. Kendall for q
term Of three years and the appointment
Education.
Paulsboro Borough Council has pur'
chased a triangular piece OF ground in
front OF the M. Z. Church, on which will
be erected the Loudenslager memoriaI
fountain.
Gloucester county farmers are now
picking lima beans, some are gathering
peaches, and there is plenty OF good corr
in the markets.
The Washington's Crossing Commits
sion named by Governor Wilson som
time ago as the result of the bill in the
last Legislature to mark the historic spor
will visit the site August 9th and begir
active arrangements to do their work
The idea is to purchase five acres.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-07-19

Jersey towns, and then to drive off in
Wilmington and deliver the produce
where it is needed. Where these people
sell their products they will spend the
money and supply their needs. Alter
we get the South Jersey business you can
look for the local stores to begin to grow.
Our wholesalers should have the great
est part of that business and it is the
duty OF the city authorities to see that
such a ferry as is indicated here be start
ed as soon as possible. 1t would not
take so much money to start this and it
does look as if it would give Wilmington
one impulse that would start it towards
greatness.
"There is room for dispute about
whether a river front would make Will
mington a commercial cite, but there is
no room for dispute as to Salem county
being Wilmington's market and as to
Wilmington being Salem county's mar
ket. The money necessary to start a
ferry and operate it until it paid ex-
penses would be a small risk when we
consider the possible gains. Wilmington
should charge on the business OF South
Jersey. Logically that trade belongs to
Wilmington, and all that is needed is to
90 after it and make it easy"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-07-19

The action Of the U. S. Senate last
Saturday III ousting William Lormier,
of Illlnoles, 10y a vote OF 80 TO rs, be-
cause IL Vas proved that he was elected
by The bribery of Legislatures Two
years ago, is evidence That tlat august
body has become awakened to Ihe
fact that The country is alive to
morality i'll politics. Mr.. Lorimer a
political boss who represented prlVl-
legged Interest vas elected 10y the Turn
ing OF fifty democrats, some OF whom
confessed they were paid. The deser-
ton of their parry cou n0t lie atLrl-
bu ed 10 The 1acL that they voted for
ali unde pendent MAI with exalted pol
tical pllnclpIes. The election OF Lori
mer could only be attributed to the
control of legislators 10y certain corporl
aLlOm interests. Investigations held
within the past few years have exposed
not only the action ot corporations i'll
electlng L0rlmer but also tie vast
amounts contributed TO elect Pltsl-
dents. Publicity Is proving TO be The
remedy by which political reforms aIe
being brought about.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-07-19

The municipal government of Allan
tic City With ii mayor and seventeen
councilmen became 50 unpopular by
criticism that the people voted 10 adopt
the Commission form OF government.
Consequently tive commissioners have
been eIected. But it las turned out
that three of the five ale of the old
Kuelinle faction. The concentration of
responsibility and the doing away with
the contention for ward expenditures
may lead to better nunicipaI govern
nent. The change of government
however reminds US Of Pope's couplet,
For forms OF government let fools
contest; Whatte'el is best administered
Is best"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-07-19
AUBURN

Mfs. Mary A. Floyd is spending a rev
weeks in Wild wood.
DIR. S. given and son, Of Brooklyn,
were visitors in town last week.
Mrs. Charles Roberts and children are
spending sometime in Wildwood.
Mts. Sue Sh~ollenberger has returned
from a few days stay in Atlantic City.
Mrs. Herbert Dutton, of New York, is
her parents, Mr.. and, Mrs. Josiah Batten.
Mr.. and Mrs. Acquilla England, of AL
fred, N. V are visiting Mr.. and Mrs.
William England.
Mr.. and Mrs. Walter Denny, of Phila-
delphia, have been visiting Mr.. and Mrs.
Charles Humphreys.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-07-19
NEED NEW JERSEY PRODUCT

it? 1t is an axiom OF business that in
creased facilities always bring increased
business. Wilmington should have a
ferry. When say a ferry l mean it
should have a boat such as those in Phil
adelphia and New York harbors. These
boats should permit the Jersey farmers
to drive Oh with their produce in the
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-07-19
What Makes A Woman?

One hundred and twenty pounds, more or
less, of bone and muscle don't make a
woman. Its a good foundation. Put INTO
health and strength and she may rule a
kingdom. But that's just what Electric
Bitters give her. Thousands bless them
for overcoming fainting and dizzy spells
and for ~dispelling weakness, nervousness,
backache and tired, ~listless, worn out teeI-
ing. Electric Bitters have done mt a
world OF good" writes Eliza Pool, Depew,
Okla, ''and | thank you, with all my
heart, for making such a good medicine"
Only soc. Guaranteed by Johnson's Drug
Store.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-07-19

Former Governor Edward G. Stokes
favors Roosevelt but is opposed to a
new party. He'thinks new leaders are
needed il the Republican party, he hav-
ing been ignored 10y the Zig bosses even
tho he polled a big vote for U. 5. Sena-
tor in the primaries OF 1910. Others
are OF the same opinion.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-07-19

Senator j. Warren Davis is being
prominently mentioned for the Demo-
cratic nomination for Congress i'll this
the First District. While he would
make a strong candidate he is needed
in the State Senate where he has two
years to serve.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-07-19
The PENIS Grove Record
FRIDAY, JULY 10, 1912.

The National Prohibition Convention
held at Atlantic City last week nomi-
mated Eugene w. Chain, Of Arizona,
formerly of Illinois for President, and
Aaron S. Watkins, of Ohio, for Vice
President.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-07-19
The Choice OF A Husband

is too important a matter for a woman to
be handicapped by weakness, bad blood or
foul breath. Avoid these kill -hopes by
taking DIR. Kings Life Pills. New strength
fine complexion. pure breath, cheerful
spirits-thiDgs that win men-follow their
use. Easy, safe. sure. 25c at Johnson's
Drug Store.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-07-19
U CONVERSATIONS

Miss Julia Hopkins, of Mullica Hill,
has been elected a teacher at Firms Point
school.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-07-19
HOw's This ?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Re-
ward for any case of Catarrh that
cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh
Cure.
F. ]. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo, O..
We, the undersigned. hav known F. J.
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe
him perfectly honorable in all business
transactions and financially able to carry
out any obligations made by his firm.
NATIONAL BANK OF COMMERCE,
Toledo, o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally.
acting directly upon the blood and mu-
cous surfaces of the system. Testimonials
sent free. Price rs cents per bottle. Sold
by all Druggists.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1912-02-22
immigration Convention.

The Missouri immigration Board
held a convention at Sedalia this
week in the interests of a greater
and more prosperous Missouri.
There was a good attendance and
representatives from many sections
of the state took an active part in
the program. The visitors were en-
tertained by the Sedalia Boosters
Club. M. V. Carroll chief commits
sioner, Missouri immigration Board,
acted as master of ceremonies.
Were Missouri as densely popu-
lated as little old Rhode Island, we
would have a population of 35,000,-
600 people and we can sustain in
comfort a relatively much larger
population than that state. We
have millions of acres of unoccupied
add untitled lands that can be made
to produce bountifully and that
would provide comfortable homes
for tens of thousands of families.
We have vast stores of the essen
tial raw materials for manufacture
ers and sufficient unused water
power to enereize more factories
than exist in any state in America
we need and want those addition
al families to occupy our idle lands
and the new capital and industrial
enterprises to utilize our raw ma
terials.
The purpose of this convention is
to evolve plan for statewide CO.
operation and aggressive work for
thorough and widespread exploita-
ton of Missouris resources, advant-
ages, opportunities and industrial
needs as a means of attracting
homeseekers and investors to this
state. = Missouri Ruralist.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1912-02-22
Cooking the Old Fowls.

Nothing can be more aPpetizing
than a well-cooked old fowl But
it must be well cooked. The old,
tough hen should be fattened, if pos
sible, and then properly dressed, let
hang for a day or two to ripen the
flesh, and this can be done without
harm, during the winter weather.
Joint the fowl, and put it over the
fire with plenty of water; if you want
broth. have the water cold; if you
want the flavoring to stay in the
meat, put it on in hot water, bring
to boil and let boil for half an
hour, keeping up a brisk bubble.
After that, set it where it will just
simmer, and let it simmer gently
until done. 1t may require five
hours simmering, or maybe ten; but
simmer until done. Keep plenty of
water Oh it until it is nearly done,
then let the water slowly cook away,
until perhaps a pint remains in the
kettle, meantime sailing to taste, 1t
does not necessarily mean that the
meat will fall from the bone" to
be done; but the meat must be thor
ouehly cooked to the bone, so it can
be picked off. Let stand in the por-
ton of water until cold, and the
water will be jellied. The meat will
be perfectly tender, and can be eat
en- even by the toothless, and the
flavor will be delicious. Try cook
ing your old fowl this way. Tough
meat must not be boiled, for that
just touehens it all the more, and
by the time it is tender, it is as
tasteless as rags-which it resem-
bles. Corned beef cooked in this
way is most appetizing,- Com
moner.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1912-02-22
JAMES SMITH,
Proper Settlement.

AWest Virginia darkey, a black
smith. recently announced a change
in his business as follows;
"Notice-De copardnership here
tO-fore resisting between me and
Nose Skinner is hereby resolved.
Dem what owe de, firm. win settle
wild me and dem what de firm
owes will settle with Mose."-Ex.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1912-02-22
Greatest of Rivers.

The River Amazon, according to
a report entitled The Data of
Geochemistry," published by the
United States Geological Survey,
carries annually to the ocean 618,.
100000 metric tons of solution and
sediment. and its turbidity can be
observed in the ocean waters over
100 miles from the land.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1912-02-22

1t is when mothers discover that
their girls are hiding things from
them that they rebuke them. limo
cent faults are always pardoned by
a kind parent, You may not know
girls, just what is right, just what is
wrong, yet you cannot be blamed
for making mistake; but you will
not be likely to do anything so very
wrong If have no secrets from your
mother. H, L. Hastings.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1912-02-22
A man had been employed at {

A man had been employed at a
factory at Doniphan for sixteen
years, during which time his home
has been in the country. four and
one'half miles away. He has made
the round trip each day in that
period on foot and it is estimated
that during the sixteen years, he
has covered a distance of at least
twice around the world - or $1,000
miles.-EX.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1912-02-22
Mothers train your boys to b

Mothers train your boys to be
neat in the house. They should be
taught to look after themselves and
to keep their hats and their coats
in their proper places. Teach them
this habit and you will save many
annoyances, and you will also do a
kindness to the boys by teaching
them neatness and self-respect,
- Elk.