The Washington herald., 1912-10-03
Topics of Interest to Every Woman
EDITED BY JULIA CHANDLER MANI
CUSTOM is UNFAIR
TO FEMININE SEX
The Right of Matrimonial Proposals
Should Be Conceded Her.
BY FRANCES sHAFFER.

Is 1t a sign OF the times and a portent
of the future that we read so many dis
cussions of the mighty question:: Shall
women propose! Newspapers actually
conduct contests to bring out an ex-
preston of opinion magazine writer's
look at the subject from every possible
angle, and meanwhile life. love and mar
riage go on in the same old way known
and followed almost from the beginning.
In passing, many of them slip In the
comment that from time immemorai
women have proposed. in the quiet man
ageriar' way in which they are supposed
ly past masters, and they have done 1t
SO adroitly and unostentatiously that no
body even guessed 1t but themselves.
Conditions Have Changed.
Probably, as a matter for discussion,
IL has all come about because matrimony
is no longer regarded as woman's one
port Of safety for life. In other days.
except for the occasional woman, 1t was
marriage or dependence; and right thank
full she was to accept the first eligible
offer that came along. just as matter
OF self-preservation. There was nothing
for her to. give up, nothing to Justify
independence. and IL she did not marry
she was ordinarily just a plain. every
dan failure. And naturally, since In mar
riage there was so large an element or
rescue and so big a question Of future
maintenance, It was the man who pro-
posed.
But now the situation is quite different.
Women have entered the economic con-
test with men. Occupations long closed
to them are freely opened. and in the
trades, the professions and the arts they
are developing their talents and receiv-
ing their financial rewards. And while
marriage lures the same as OF old. and
while the lucrative occupation is many
times gladly laid aside for the wedding
altar, there is a differepce. 1t is true,
she gives up her place In the wage
earning world. but II is not as one ac-
cepting a favor, for there Is her occu-
patton or her profession standing be-
tween her and failure.
Indeed, as one turns seeing, apprect-
ative eyes back to the earlier days, wom-
ans place in the world was not one big.
beautiful rose garden. Because IN her
chief vocation. marriage. the only right
vouchsafed her was the right of refusal.
And her world of suitors might be
very, very limited world, not one Of
made up of the few or the many who
happened to be attracted to her.
And now that men and women ap-
proach matrimony on a nearer plane OF
equality, the question OF proposal takes
on new significance.
You and I view the question with more
or less horror. from the standpoint of
sentiment. tradition and training. We
think 1t quite impossible to overturn
old habits Of life and old ways OF think
ing, and We half believe that II Is part
of the great scheme Of things that wom-
an shall protect their aloofness from all
thought of love and marriage until a
master mind puts the great question.
and makes II permissible to come out
in the open. We call 1t unseemly, un-
womanly, unthiqkable, a sort Of per-
Of nature. and an assumption
Of mans prerogatives.
But then, we have called so many
things by those comprehensive names,
only to turn about in the course of
time and think and act and live quite
to the contrary, that We never know
what the next step may be-
Takes Time to Adjust.
It would take a generation or two Of
clear thinking and of fair reasoning. and
maybe another generation or two Of ex-
perience, to free TIE air OF old traditions
and old defnitiofy OF special preroga-
tives before the right Of proposal would
be conceded as a fitting tool for the
hand Of woman.
But as It affects individual life, fam
ily life and all. there is no bigger human
right on earth than the right to choose
a mate. Important to man. it is no
less so to woman. yet he chooses from
the whole world, she from the few who
find her pleasing to their sight And II
none comes? Why. that is one OF the
tricks Of fate. And in the possibility that
none may come or that the right one
may fail to appear, there has been ample |
Justification for the little labyrinth of
deceit, the little network OF "womanly |
wiles'' commented upon since the dawn |
of time.
One of the faults in womans training |
mas been the assumption that she should |
take no initiative in life, that she should |
look down, with never the |
Kicker of an eyelash, waiting for the |
word of release.
In away. it has had its Conversations:
N another way, 1t has had its failures
and its manifest hardships We, the
products of old customs and habits of
thought will not see a change and do |
lot want to see any, because We have
ived and grown the other way. but II
We could clear our minds sufficiently to
yet at the right OF It. II would be pass
ng strange IL We came to believe that
he privilege OF proposal was never
meant to be mans birthright alone.
1t sounds very radical revolutionary,
II you like-but maybe the
oming generations will think quite 9TH
rwise