The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1912-06-27
WAKING UP A
TOWN
BY NJ. QUAD
Copyright. 1912. by Associa'eS Lit
erary Press.

Eyes; business seems to drop of
little every year." was the reply.
"And why are we dead and dying
heref" asked the deacon as be step
ped up on the platform beside bar
rel of kerosene, for it was postotfice
and grocery combined.
He waited till his audience had shut
and pocketed their jackknives and
then answered his own question.
Because nothing ever happens here
Does any one die? Do we have any
funerals2 Does any one ever get mar
ried2 Does any one steal? Has any
one present even seen a dog fight in
. the last two yearsT
mo, no."
Something ought to be done. dea
con-" suggested a voice.
"And don't know it? Don't We
ali know itT
Might call a public meeting and
resolve" was q second suggestion.
Resolve what--that we are going to
the dogsr
"Our forefathers did that. and then
we licked the British"
But where's your British TO lick
now? I've been thinking this thing
over for two years. and hain't lit on
a remedy yet. I've got whole barrel
of molasses in the cellar, and I'll give
It to the critter who can wake this
town up"
The critter to do 1t was right al
hand. The deacon meant human be
ing, but the critter was an old spotted
bull coming down the highway. the
crowd at the postoffice was scratching
its head and almost tasting that mo-
lasses when the bull turned a corner
and saw his golden opportunity. He
charged with a snort and a below.
and after smashing three gates that
were swinging open he was at the
postoffice. He knocked the crowd right
and left He cleared the platform of
barrels and boxes. He ran his horns
through windows.
The bull came and saw and did
things and went his way. 1t was a
fne beginning to wake up town
None of the three doctors in it had even
had a case Of measles I'm six months
Now they had thirteen bull horned and
bull kicked victims to practice on. In
stead Of every light being out by 0
o'clock they were burning In almost
every house at midnight
Next morning the town was early
astir to repair damages and exchange
opinions, and no one was looking for
anything more to happen when the old
bull came charging again. Instead of
being miles away he had slept just out
side the town to be ready for an early
call. That below was like the fall Of
brick house. There were three farm
ers' teams on the street, early as 1t
was. To play ball with them was fun
for the bull. He put his horns under
old Mrs. Baxter as she was crossing
the street to borrow an egg and tossed
her over fence to come down head
first in a tomato patch. He kicked
Elder Southfeld in the solar pleIus and
knocked him the length Of a black
smith shop.
There was no loaflng on the part Of
that bull. He was at work every min
ute OF the time. and when he finally
OUT 1t was because there was nothing
more In his line to be done. On this
occasion our star correspondent SIM
ply telegraphed:
81 have seen the dead and dying, and
have gazed on the wide wrought de-
struction. and am simply overcome"
At shutdown scouts that had been
sent out reported that nothing had
been seen Of the bull, and 1t was be-
lieved that he had retired to some
place where the rates were not too
high to commit suicide. There was
great felicitation and an attempt to do
business, but the old bull had fooled
EN- With the same old below. same
horns, same tail, he came charging In
for the third time. He was willing to
work overtime without extra pay.
They had axes and clubs and crowbars
and guns ready for him this time, but
they knew him not.
Abner Goodhue and his wife were
going to prayer meeting. Over a fence
they went instead Aaron Littlefeld
and his mother-in-law were going to
sit up with one Of the injured on the
nrst charge. Aaron saved himself by
climbing locust tree, but the woman
was kicked In the head and never
spoke again. though she lived on for
twenty years.
There were q score more cases like
the above. but our staff correspondent
didn't particularize. He couldn't. His
! emotions were too great He had to
simply say:
MY grandfather was at Gettysburg,
but he saw nothing like this. l simply
stand appalled, and ask myself who is
who"
II you should enter that town today
you would find $4,000 population in
place Of 1000 You would find brick
postoflce with lot of old men sitting
around. and one Of them would be like
ly to ask:
Deacon Singer, wasn't there a time
in the aistory of Beverly when she
sorter stood still"
And the answer would be.
There was. sir"
"And then the snow shovel factory
came to give her an impetusY"
"Snow shovel factory be durnedi n