The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-12-24
ON THE SPUR
OF The MOMENT
Our Confession of Faith
81 ROY 4. MOULTON.

Our Confession of Faith.
We have received the following letter:
Boston, Mass, Oct 10Th
win you please outline your political
policy for your multitude of readers
What party do you belong to? Sincerely
yours. CONSTANT READER
Certainly.
The party we belong to is a small party
with dark hair and blue eyes Weight
122 pounds; height, five feet two inches;
age twenty-seven and then some. We
have belonged to this party Tor several
years and have no idea of CHANGING
We are Episcopalian in belief but we
do not allow this to interfere with our
better judgment in the selection OF
candidate. We always vote Tor the pest
man and for all We care he may De an
Allopath, a Homeopath, and Osteopath'
or a Chiropratic.
We are the advance agent for pros
we do not think a man is wrong po-
Htically just because he disagrees with
US. We know he is
man is just as good as another, If not in
some cases, little better
We are irrevocably against the code OF
living as il is at present. We believe that
where 1T is too high it should be lowered
and where it is too low it should be
highered-
We believe that all bachelors should be
married. If they are all like the ones we
know it would serve them jolly wen rlSht.
We believe in fairies, but not so much
as we did when were younger ana
were taking more notice
We believe that every member OF every
family should have his own tooth brush.
we have argued this for years.
We are unalterably in favor OF the
tight skirt, the horseless piano, the divine
right of kings (as against Jacks or tens)'
the Decent limit for poker games, the
straw hat for horses and vaccination as
a preventive OF exaggerated ego spawn
ringbone, or pip
We are unalterably opposed to the phon-
ograph, the night-prowling motorcycle,
the penny-in-the-slot peanut machine
moving picture ballads, spruce gum,
false teeth that drop in the soup, the
Bronx cocktail, garlic salad and peg top
we hope we have made the matter per-
fectIy plain for once and all.
Easy.
There are numerous ways to be happy
There are numerous ways to be gay;
But the generous Teller,
Big-hearted and meller,
He has doped out the easiest way
A Teller kin be quite contented
BY maxim his brother men glad
Because it's reflected
Right back unexpected,
The best joy a man ever had
A Teller don't have to be wealthy
To play a philanthropist's part;
He must just be keerful
To always be cheerful
And keep the sunshine in his heart
I'd rather shake hands with Teller
Who's got a glad smile on his face
Than one with a million,
Or even billion,
Who's lacking in that savin' grace
1t costs not a cent to be cheerful
Or to give warm clasp of the hand
Sometimes it is bunk
And the feller's a hunk
But it don't hurt you none, understand
We all love the things that are pleasant.
A Teller that spreads lots of salve
May come just TO flatter,
But that doesn't matter,
He's a purity good friend to have.
According to Uncle Abner.
A Teller will wallow In baby talk
before he gifts married, but afterward
he starts to break up the furniture If
his wife calls him by a pet name.
There amt nothing that will last
longer than love letter that Teller
hadn't orter written in the first place.
When a Teller goes along the street
lookin' at himself In the plate glass
winders he is either in love or he has
got a new hat, and most likely it's
both.
A single woman kin get herself up
a mighty ST t cheaper than she kin
after she is married.
Fence rail advertiser pays-the
painter.
From the Hickeyville Clarion.
Old Man Purdy has got a new
wooden leg made outn Norway pop
lar, and every time he stands still in
the mud for a minute his leg takes
root and he has have it chopped loose
by the hook and ladder department.
Elmer Jones bought a bottle of violet
ink at Tibbitt's grocery the other day.
All, there Elmer, what's the lady's
name?
Miss Lutte Bibbins expects to take
a course in a musical observatory this
winter. Hank Tumms says he always
thought an observatory was a place
where they keep followers OF course
they are both wrong. An observatory
is the place where the weather comes
from.
William Tibbitts sold a package of
hooks and eyes Thursday Must be
somebody is having a new dress made
at this writing.
Elmer Jones's shoulder was all COW
cred with powder the other day which
he said he got by carryfn' home a sack
of flour. Tell that to the marines, Ell
ner. A Teller don't go to a milliner
store to buy flour.
Grandma Perkins is not much bet
ter at this writing and there amt
many hopes for her. She lathed and
plastered two houses last week and is
digging a we'll at this writing for
Uncle Ezra Harkins.
Amos Butts, our popular and con-
genial undertaken, has gone to Chi