Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1912-10-18
CANNOT RELY ON JOHN
WIFE FINDS n"sTRoNe RIGHT
ARM" THEORY WRONG.
She Thought He Would Rid Her Path
Of All Annoyances, Great and
Small, but She Knows
Better Now.

When | married my John, l firmly
expected to lean upon his strong right
arm, having always heard that that
was what a strong right arm was for.
And l firmly expected him to rid my
path of the small annoyances of life,
as well as be haven of refuge in
the vaster perplexities. In a word,
expected him to combine the roles of
solicitous lover and provident hus-
band. / say | expected this, says a
writer in the New York Evening Post.
John and l were married in the au-
tumn When our honeymoon was
over we moved into an apartment.
Our landlady had an apartment under
us. AS she would not give us enough
heat, went to my John about it.
John, of course, would see that /
had enough heat. But did | really
need more heat? The house seemed
comfortable to him. (He was out of
1t all day. He sort of hated to get
| into an argument with lady. We
! liked the apartment, didn't we, and if
we insisted upon more heat, it might
strain our relations with the landlady,
which would be unpleasant, as we
We're living in the same house.
wouldn't it?
After surviving several bad colds, l
gave John long, sneaking look, took
the matter into my own hands, made
the landlady give us a written re-
lease, and moved out of the apart
ment.
At first when l went out with John
to mingle with our best restaurant
classes | sat back like fat little para
site, lazily enjoying having man look
after me, even to ordering my food
But John always confused the order
got lobster Newburg when l wanted
| lobster salad. John never noticed
which waiter was serving us-John
never could catch the head walters
eye-Ye were always having to wait
for salt or for bread while the dinner
cooled. AS ordering meals was in my
daily housekeeping routine, soon
took over the ordering and John sal
back like the fat little parasite.
Upon another occasion. when l tried
to lean on Johns strong right arm we
barely escaped arrest. We were on q
Pullman car with an impertinent por
ter. | mentioned his impertinence tc
John, expecting John to issue a repri
mand. But John knocked the porter
down. There was dreadful commo
ton. Ladies screamed and the con
ductor came rushing up. John wanted
to knock the conductor down. The
conductor objected and threatened tc
have us arrested at the next station
After some pleading and arguing
Gained John, pacified the conductor
tipped the porter and secured peace
When we bought our home we de
cided to have some of the trees cut
down. showed the tree chopper the
trees that were to be sacrificed, but
he sent his son to do. the job before
we had moved out, and the son lost
his instructions and cut down every
tree in. the froit yard. In. tears went
to my John, but John said: "Now
dearie, you are the mistress of this
house. | don't want to butt in"
4 Gradually my own right arm has
grown little stronger. l don't re
gret it. don't even consider that Il
would be fair to John to. do too mucf
home leaning on his strong right arm
He has a good deal to worry hin
downtown. All that regret or con
slider is that, possibly, a good deal O.
waste Went into the forming of my ro
mantle Illusions.