Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1912-07-25
CHAPTER /.
What's in a Name?


corpuscles in ones blood, metaphor
ically if not in fact, two characters OF
individualities under one epidermis
is, in most cases, peculiar disadvan
tage. One hears of scoundrels and
saints striving to consume one an
other in one body, angels and har
pies; but ofttimes, quite the contrary
to being a curse, these two warning
temperaments become a mans ulti'
mate blessing: as in the case OF
George p. A. Jones, of Mortimer &
Jones, the great metropolitan Oriental
rug and carpet company, all of which
has a digniied sonorous sound.
George was divided within. himself.
This he would not have confessed
even into the trusted if battered ear
of the Egyptian SphynX. There was,
however, no demon-angel sparring for
points in Georges soul. The difficulty
might be set forth in this manner:
On one side stood inherent common
sense; on the other, boundless, ro-
seate imagination which was like
wise inherent-a kind of quixote mag
iIldlIOu VI SulIdUEG LnOu0Iu pdLISIu.
This alter ego terrified him whenever
1t raised it's strangely beautiful head
and shouldered aside his guardian
angel (fOr that's what common sense
is, argue to what end you wild and
pleaded in that luminous rhetoric I'M
der the spell Of which our old friend
Sancho often fell asleep.
thQv oaI1od him hnbipd Tho
counters, was but tWenty-eight, and ~
he was vice-president in his late IA
theirs shoes he didn't wabble round
in them to any great extent. In
crowd he was not noticeable; he
didn't stand head and shoulders above
his fellow-men, nor would he have
been mistaken by near-sighted per-
sons, the myopes, for the Vatican's
Apollo in the flesh He was of me-
dunn height, beardless, slender, but
tough and wiry and enduring. You
may see his prototype on the streets
a dozen times a day, and you may
also pass him without turning round
for second view. Young men like
P. A. must be intimately known to
be admired you did not throw your
arm across his neck, frst-off. His
hair was brown and closely clipped
about head that would have gained
the attention Of the phrenologist, if
not that Of the casual passer-by. His
bumps, in the phraseology of that
science, were good ones. For the rest,
he observed the world through a pair
of kindly, shy blue eyes.
Young girls, myopic through igno-
rance or Stiffness, seeing nothing be-
yond what the eyes see, seldom gave
him a second inspection; for he did
not know how to make himself at
tractive, and was MORALLY afraid of
the opposite, or opposing sex. He
could bullyrag a sheik out of his cam
els saddle-bags, but petticoats and
lace parasols and small Oxfords had
the same effect upon him that the
prodding stick of a small boy has
upon a retiring turtle. But many
worldly-Wise woman, drawing out with
tact and kindness the truly beautiful
thoughts of this young mans soul,
sadly demanded of fate why sweet
clean boy like this one had not been
sent to her in her youth You see
the worldly-wise woman knows that
it is invariably the lay-fgure and not
Prince Charming that a woman mar
ries, and that matrimony is blind
mans buff in grown-ups.
Many of is lay the blame upon our
parents. We shift the burden of won
dering why we have this fault and
lack that grace to the shoulders of
our immediate forbears. We go to
the office each morning denying that
we have any responsibility; we let
the boss do the worrying. But George
never went prospecting in his soul for
any such dross philosophy. He was
grateful for having had so beautiful
a mother; proud Of having had so
honest a sire; and if either of them
had endued him with false weights he
did his best TO even up the balance.
The mother had been as romantic
as any heroine out of Mrs. Radcliff's
novels, while the father had owned
to as much romance as one generally
finds in a thorough business man,
which is practically none at all. The
very name itself is bulwark against
the intrusions of romance. One can
not lift the imagination to the pros
pect Of picturing a Jones in ruff1es
and highboots, pinking varlet in the
midriff 1t smells of sugar-barrels and
cotton-bales, of steamships and rail
roads, of stolid routine in the office
and Of placid concern over the daily
news under the evening lamp.
Mrs. Jones, lovely. lettered yet not
worldly, had dreamed of her boy,
bayed and decorated, marrying the
most distinguished woman in all Eu-
rope, whoever she might be. Mr..
Jones had had no dreams at all, and
had put the boy to work In the ship
ping department little while after
the college threshold had been crossed,
outward bound. The mother, while