Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1912-07-30

sleeve ana naturally enough ~ WouiO1A =
go. Any one knows my head is bigger
than my fist; and what had taken
for a sleeve was the pocket In the
blamed thing To the scientific mind 1t
is plain tina. that garment had both my
shoulders to the ma, with half nell
son and hammer lock. I commenced
to unharness myself. making all the
time. low gutteral noise like an edu-
Gated seal carrying on an argument
with his trainer over the superiority OF
fish on diet.
was somewhat surprised that no
member Of my family had appeared TO
lend me advice and comfort. Usually
when ! go to put on shirt where the
sleeve has been starched and afterward
cemented together with tho iron. 1t Is
all I can do to keep my wife at bay.
She is afraid very time lose my tenn
per / am going to have a stroke.
I heard the town clock strike the
half hour, the curfew blew just as
had turned out the light: I had been
thirty minutes trying to get into that
night shirt and had made no fur
Their progress than hearing the thing
rip a couple OF times. Finally l de-
cided TO pull down the blinds and
switch on the light The bulb hangs
from a cord in the center Of the room.
I reached I'D to turn on the light. 1t
wasn't there; then ! tried both hands.
Nothing but darkness slipped thru my
fingers. stopped and got my bearings,
then I cautiously started in to find that
light. had been too much excited and
illustrated at first: I would be calmer.
/ went around and around the room
with my arms working UP and down
| like a man trying to turn COW into
an alley. but that light was strictly
absent. Finally I got a pillow and l
| swung ii around my head as ] marched
| back and across the room, but X 1t
coIlided at any time with that bulb I
never felt 1t.
| The whole thing began 20 seem queer
| TO me. The unrecognizazle thing l was
| trying to put on as a night shirt, the
total absence OF the light. All at once
| II came to me that had been the
subject of a practical joke; that when
nv attention had been detracted FOR
| the moment, my wife had switched
/ garments on me and had pulled the
cord of the light to one side and was
now some place enjoying the joke. II
| ANYTHING was madden than l had
been before.
All at once jumped up and yelled
| woman, woman, what have you done
to my night shirt; what have you done
to this light" Then when ] heard nc
response I yelled again: Remember
YOU are fooling with your best FRIEND
now; don't yo do anything you will live
to regret" There was no answer.
knew I was all alone. I began to gel
frightened and feared dissolution. Their
liz began to wonder II hadn't beer
working too hard and this was the aw'
full consequence. 1 was leaning agains
the dresser; my hand came in contac
with the handle Of hair brush, m.
fingers closed on it and in my desper
alton / made one sweep with 1t at
place where I didn't think that iigh
could possibly be and, smash; my IN
tellect tottered and fell.
J, Az hour later when my wife came
home from the neighbors she found M
down on my hands and knees. trying
to get my head into the lower drawe
Of the dresser and barking like a Sc;
lion. That IL why I failed to hold
! meeting with my creditors the mex
day.