Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-11-21
Wit IN The PULPIT
Preachers With a Sense of HUI
NOR or the Gift of Repartee.
A DUEL between PUNSTERS.

Walker and Rev. Mr.. Read-6rother
Moore's Grim Retort.
Whc1 the march OF pulpit oratory
and humor was less advanced than
at present a number Of pious parish
toner's resolved to compliment their
beloved pastor with a horse. After
a great deal Of scraping together they
accumulated funds sufficient to pur-
chase a saddle, which was forthwith
dispatched to the minister, with an
intimation that the horse would be
sent at a more convenient season.
Week after week, however, passed
on, and no word Of the minister's nag.
This dilatoriness would never do,
thought the reverend gentleman, and
accordingly one Sunday afternoon he
took occasion to introduce the sub
ject In winding up a discourse on the
unspeakable ~Ioveliness Of charity.
"Now, my friends" said the preach
grass yont by at the manse in a day
or twa, l ken what III 90
Here the minister smote the pulpit
In a that made the hearts Of
the congregation melt within them like
wax, while he, stern man, continued
his appeal to their %pecuniary feelings
30 long, and repeated the fearful
threat, II ken what I'll do!' so often
that one frightened nearer said:
"And what wull you do, sirT"
"Why, man." said the minister coolly.
"I1l just sell the saddle"
The Rev. Mr.. Walker of Connecticut
saw his friend, the Rev. Mr.. Read,
sitting in one Of the pews on a Sun
day morning and, leaving the pulpit,
went to Read and urged him to preach
for him. Read begged off, as he was
provide ally detained In town over
the Sabbath and had no preparation
with him. But Walker was pressing,
and at length his friend yielded to his
importantly and entered the pulpit.
But he had no text, and after some re-
iection pitched upon Job 1, 7, Then
Satan answered the Lord and said,
From going to and fro in the earth
and from walking up and down in It,"
From this passage he drew the doc
trine and announced it boldly, that the
devil was q great Walker. He rung
the changes on the name Of his friend
till the people signiied their notice by
general smile.
Walker look the pulpit in the after
and returned his friends complf-
ments by taking for his text Matthew
xi, Z, "A reed shaken with the wind"
1.-THE doctrine of the text" he said, "fs
the instability Of Reads" On this
theme he discovered till Read wished
that he had level ventured his wit in
the pulpit at the expense Of his friend
Walker.
In the south Of New Jersey some
years ago there Travelled over some OF
the hardest counties a good, faithful,
hard working brother named James
Moore. He was devoted to the timer
ancy and a true loyal Methodist. plain,
pointed and sharp In all his preaching
and exhortations. He had been labor
ing a year on one Of bis circuits. and,
before leaving for his new field, he
gave his people his farewell sermon.
At the close he said:
MY dear brethren, this Is my last
address to you. I am going from you.
and you may lever hear the voice of
James Moore again."
"Amenw came loudly from the seat
before him.
He looked at the man with a little
surprise; but, thinking it was a mis-
take, went on. my days on earth
will soon be numbered. I am an old
man and you may not only never hear
the voice of James Moore, but never
see his face again"
"Amen!" was shouted from the same
seat, more vigorously than before.
There was no mistaking the design
now. The preacher looked at the man.
He knew him to be q hard. grinding
man. stingy and merciless to the poor.
He continued with his address: "May
the Lord bless all those Of you who
have done your duty. who have hon.
pred him with your substance, who
DCCu hlu0 W LIZ pOOis oAo, pau"
Ing and looking the intruder straight
In the eye and pointing to him with
his finger. may his curse rest on
those who have cheated the Lord and
ground the poor under their heels!
Say amen to that, brotherr
He was not interrupted again.
1t was the Rev. Rowland HilTs habit
to ride to church In an old family
carriage. a practice too nr1stocratic, In
the Judgment of one OF his flock, who
determined to rebuke 1t. 1t was Gus
tomary in his chapel for notes to be
sent to the pulpit, requesting prayers
for various objects, and n Sabbath
Hill was proceeding with the reading
of these requests as usual when he
found himself In the midst of one to
the following purport:
PRAYERS are requested for the Rev.
Mr.. Hill, that he may he more humble
and, like his divine Master, who, In
stead Of riding In a carriage, was con-
tent to be borne on an ass"
Having read the notice, he lifted
the spectacles TO his forehead and.
looking around the house. observed
that 1t was quite true he had been
guilty OF the fault alleged, but II the
writer would step around to the vestry