Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-07-04
ONE GENTLEMAN
HERE'S AYSC0UNT
Invasion of Northerners Has
Made Southern Gentleman
Thing Of Past, He Says.

PHILADELPHIA, July Count Au-
gust SchaffelslSy DeMukkadel DeCas-
tellane Seymour arrived in Philadel-
phia announcing that there was but
one real gentleman in the United
States. This one. he added, was A. c.
Cunningham, real estate broker of
Buffalo
The visitor is real count; at least.
he says so himself. Also he asserts he
is cousin of Count Boni DeCasteilane.
Count August Schaffelsky, etc, trav-
els to the accompaniment of two large
crocodiles, two fox terriers, a valet and
trained flea. He learned after he
arrived that the best hotels do not have
accommodations for a menagerie They
told him so and he had to go elsewhere
He. eventually landed in an apartment
house.
His Idea Of o Wife.
The count is here to find a wife. He
is nearly six feet tall. heavy from sole
to crown; also heavy towIed, with
heavy eyes and a heavy mustacf1e OF
his mustache he is particularly proud.
The count began his lamentations by
declaring he was in the market for
second wife. He is widower.
The marriage must not be one of
those silly love variety affairs he said.
"Myawife and must beFchums. friends.
neighhpEs, united in mental work.
prefer q woman whose temples are
tingfdf with gray Che is about so years
oldg The gray hairs show reason, ex-
perience, knowledge and patience.
want a marriage of health. My wife
should be self supporting She would
have no special rights
There must be no kissing. no holding
of hands, no low gas-none of that kind
OF fooltshness. These are my ideas upon
my wife. I know I will be jeered at.
but 1eers are for all thinking men.
In the words of Ella Wheeler Will
cox your countrymen are a barbarous
race | have investigated them all.
down and outs, low brows and high
orows. Take your alleged New York
society members, for instance. They
Just talk, think and dream money. /
Nation of "Hot Air.
They are not gentlemen. In all nv
travels and Investigations, I have met
but one gentleman in the United
States He is real estate broker In
Buffalo and most charming gentle
man. | spent five hours in his home
and during that time he never spoke
about his business affairs or the affairs
of other persons.
Here | called upon some of the bust
ness men-husbands of the society
women. tried to converse with them
1t was impossible The moment the
conversation got going third individ
ual would invariably appear. Hello.
Bill! is his greeting. and Immediately
your host starts a different converse
ton You are a nation of hot air
Yes that is it-hot air. know
what 1t means. One of my ancestors
was the Baron Munchausen, who used
to lie so beautifully. Every one knew
he told lies; SO they didn't hurt any
oody. He Dragged ABOUT his wonderful
achievements. Here you Americans
brag about things you never did. and
people believe you. That is the hot
air
"AlI Cast in the Same Mold
You American men and women are
all cast in the same mold. You do not
travel and you do not observe. Why.
our working classes abroad are supe-
rior to your society You know but one
language, and when you travel You ex
pect people in other countries to speak
your language You are ignorant.
Go to the theater or your best res
taurants and see how the patrons act
In the theaters they talk and talk.
They know no better. In the restau-
rants they eat with their knives and
yes, it's lovely.
And you are nation Of gum chew
ers. When your jaws are not going
Dragging about wonderful deeds, they
are chewing gum
mo Southern Gentlemen Now"
And your wonderful Southern gen
tlemen. Well, have Travelled the South
United States also. There are not any
Southern gentlemen now Twenty years
ago there we're lots of them. You
money grabbing Northerners have gone
South, and you have ruined them. The
young women still are beautiful but
that is all"
The count ended his TRADE by ex-
planning that he never fought duels, as
does the Count Boni, and that If he
does not find a suitable woman for
wife he is willing to open a school.
with numerous branches. to teach the
people of the United States department.