The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1912-05-04
SUBSTITUTE AT WORK
MRS. ROSE LILA BOUNCE on TO
THE JOB.
OF Course She Had Her Own Ideas
Is to Washing Clothes, but They'd
Como Out Whittier Than the
"DrivIin' Snow"

"Mis Johnsing cayan' come dis morn.
in" announced big, strapping col.
ored woman, as Mrs. Younglove open.
ed the front door of her apartment in
response to long, steady peal of the
electric bell, cher baby might down
sick an she got to stay home an min
1t, SO she done SEN me as substifuge
reckon All cayn do yo' wash mos
we'll as she cayn. 'W'ot de matter Wit
de baby?' All dunno 'zackly, but it
pears to be on de verge oh de rackets,
80 de doctah say-anyway, w'otever
tbs dat ails de chile, it mighty low.
"No'm, All ain had no b'ekfus'. Two
aigs an some sa'sage?' Yaas, I reck-
on dat'll do me-jes' to keep me a-goin'
till you has de lunch ready. No, All
nevah takes coffee. It don gree wit
me an some folks say it turn de com.
plex-'um dark. Oh, yaas, All cayn
drink tea-or choclit eff yo' has it.
Well, teall do eff yo' ain got no choclit.
All ain SO awful particular.
"Yo' cert'ny is a mighty good
cook" admitted tho "substifuge," as
she rose from the kitchen table after
a somewhat protracted consumption Of
the food provided by Mrs. Younglove.
"Now, bout de clos? How yo' wan
EN- washed? Eve'body has dere own
way, an lakes to obligate de folks I
w'uks TO- by dom 'zackly de way dey's
decustom to have 'em done. Abs allus
comadatin'.
ibis heyah yaller soap? Dat w'ot
yo' use? It don't wash de clos clean.
Well, Of co'se eff yo' wan me to use it,
an yo' ain got no oder, Anil do NAH
bes'-but it de wus kim TO- de clos.
"Yo' vans de clos billed! Does yo'
bile you clos? No, m-a-'a-m, All nevah
biles clos. Bilin' jes' discumalates de
dirt t'ro de garminks, so yo' cayn' git
it out no how. Some ladies dey don
lake bilin' TO- notin-dey say it make
de 'partment SMALL; but mebbe you
don min dat specially now de weder
is cool an de winders is close"
''Aain' 20 got no oder starch dan dis,
honey? Tain de kim All luikes. All
know it's call de bes', but All nevah
use dat kim down Souf. o, yaas, Ah1l
use it eff yo' vans me to, but All won
make no p'edilictions of how de clos
gwine to look. Yaas, All seen de
wringer ovah by de tubs, but All dom
nevah use none. Usin' wringers is jes'
flynn in de face oh Providence. How
does All wiring de clo's?" wy, wifi NAH
hans of co'se. Oats de rail proper
way. De Lo'd nevah mean dat wiring
ers should be used, specially on desc
heyah fine pieces. All knows lady
use to go out washin', she mo- kill
herself usin' wringer. She dismo-
Gated de spine OBJ her back an it nevah
got we'll no mo-, so one oh her Shout
ders is higher'n de other evan sence.
So yo'll jes' have to 's-c-u-s-e me,
honey, eff All wrings wifi NAH two
hans. Say, honey, yo' just leave dis
heyah wash to me. Ah1l do de clos
nah own way dis time. Dey'll come
out w'iter'n de drivlin' snow, yo' see
eff dey don.
'W'ot NAH name? wy nah name
Mis- Bounce-but yo' cayn call me
Rose Lila, dat nah fus' name. Tain
all de ladies wuks TO- dat tells 'em
nah fas' name, but All lakes you,
honey, ain All don wan no fomentali.
ties boz nah name."-New York
Press.