Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-04-11

are those which will suit everybody.
Tho who prefer musical comedy and
those Who prefer heavy drama must be
pleased at the same time.
There will he patent arrangements to-
DROP from The ceiling and yank h hats
ladies' who refuse to take them
OIL: The apparatus will yank OFF moi
only the hats but all superfluOus bush
els Of hair aus we'll.
Tho theater will he hot and cold a,
the same time SO as to please both the
shivt.ring folks and the. fresh air flends.
THE KNOT HOLE IN THE FENCE.
can talk about your aged oaken
bucket.
The messy one that dangled in the
we'll.
old farm house you used to love Su
dearly.
The daisies that grew i'm the boskN
dell.
But there's one other spot tina we can
mention
For which our love WAS nightly in
tense:
1t fingers in our memory forever
That little Die round knot hole in the
fence.
How Well Il" We remember all the
Who took part in the Doodle Center
game.
battin' record of this mighty ball
team
Would make Il; major league look
pretty tame.
W.. witnessed every contest of the SEA
Without the slightest sort of an ex-
pense.
And to our good uld friend we'n e'er
be grateful.
Our little old round knot hole in The
fence.
saw all OF the stars that graced the
contest.
And then we saw another kind, to
boot.
Whene'er the copper with a saingle.
found us
And We had not the time to AXE 81
scoot.
How many times we've eaten from TIN.
nlantel,
Blu did it with Il joy that was inn
mense,
Because we had enjoyed up to the
limit.
That little old round knot hole in the
TH]I FIRST ONE.
oh. what is that:
The Easter hat.
That proud mamma is wearing?
Yes, it mast be.
For papa. he
Is in the basement. swearing.
The first expense
Is SO cents.
For feathers. straw and laces.
And colored grass
And Garden sass
Stuck round in likely places.
It's very neat
When it's complete.
It's swagger and it's nifty.
This bunch of trash
Gets fathers cash
The price is nineteen fifty.
IT'S A CINCH.
He tips his hat politely as he helps her
on the car.
And finds a seat for her, it matters not
how scarce they are.
And finds a seat for her, it matters not
show and tries to slide
Out OF his seat between the acts TO
buy Il Glove outside.
He asks if she would object il he en-
joyed a smoke.
When she approached with a touch
he never SAYS he's broke.
He never goes out evenings, for he
doesn't care TO roam.
He wears his smoking Jacket all the
time that he's at home.
He treats her as politely as he'd treat
a neighbours wife,.
He couldn't let a swear word out, not
cen to save his life.
He hangs his clothes up carefully and
simply dotes on style.
He has no slouchy and he
always wears a smile.
He doesn't growl about hard times, or
quarrel with his food.
He's simply shocked at everything that
savors OF the rude.
He gets home from his Office on the
minute every day
And there Is no attraction that can
make him stay away.
His household etiquet is simply great
and life Is one sweet song.
Yes, gentle reader. it's a cinch, they've
not been married long.
-
THE OLD MACHINE.
I love my old typewriter.
Though 1t oft goes amiss.
When 1t gets good n balky
IT Makes q line? LIKE THIS.
It Is the'p poorest speller,
And sQueaks as though in pain.
1t has no education
& KANT rite very PLAIN.
Twas built in 1870.
When h%oopskirts were the rage.
It's shaky. rambling methods
are due to ITS Crate Age"!(
I've had 1t many decades
And know it's every turn.
But I don't mind confessing
ITS ways Are hard to learn.
I bought 1t on installments,
Just when I most forget.
It's all worn out. but listen
IT ai&'t ALL paid for yet@.
THUMBS DOWN FOR THESE.
Ward heelere.