Evening star., 1912-11-10
I/OU folks up to the city certainly
Y do crack up lot of newfan-
gled notions about how to make

AA v II w lOihS up ~ lhC NY ~ ec~AAiAy
do crack up lot of neWfan-
gled notions about how to make
everybody successful and happy and pros
porous and all that, just by passing
few new laws said country store
keeper at a crossroads ten miles below
the capital.
We've been passing new laws down
here in Maryland for almost three hun
dred years, and we've found that legisla-
ton can't make a man successful If he
amt got it in him to succeed; can't make
him happy if he's got sour disposition
by nature, and can't make him prosper
GUS if he don't know anything, amt got
good hard sense and don't care about
working. There amt any law that man
can make that can make everybody hap
py and do away with poverty. Poverty
comes natural to lots of people. No
matter how much money they'd get,
they'd soon be poor again. There's got
to be a lot of poor people. There's lots
of hard work in the world that's got to
be done by somebody, and nobody amt
a-goin' to do this work unless they're so
poor they've got to do it. Some people
have got to have bosses or they wouldn't
get up in the morning, would never touch
a pickax or a hoe, and would idle them
selves to death, if they didn't starve first.
1.-The legislature amt no fairy god
mother that can shake wand over a
PERSONS head and turn a kitchen maid
into a royal princess with golden coach
drawn by four white horses, or turn a
calico wrapper into a velvet dress. If
every kitchen maid was turned into a
royal princess there wouldn't be any
body left to fry the bacon, boil the cab
bage or wash the dishes. Besides, that
royal princess couldn't go anywhere with
out footmen. coachman, outriders, or
positions, or other servants. Her white
horses would. have to be curried and shod
and fed and their stables cleaned out
and if the golden chariot should break
down she'd have to hunt up blacksmith
or wheelwright to mend 1t. 1t would have
to have the mud washed off, and it wou
have to be painted or regilded every
year You couldn't expect that royal prin-
cess to shine her own shoes, sew her own
dresses or button them up, make up her
bed, throw out her own wash water and
comb her own hair. Somebody's got to
work If everybody was a royal princess
or a royal prince, how could l sell fat
N.
lasses? They'd all be eating .marmalade
and jelly cake, and then the price of
those things would go so high that on
The top-notch royal princesses and the
SWEETEST royal princes would be able to
buy them and then the world would be
full of trouble again.
1.-THE troub with You city folks Is that
you all want to be SO rich you won't
have to get up in the morning and go to
work. You want to be so rich that when
the ; o'clock whistle blows you can turn
over and go to sleep again, and then get
up make a fancy toilet, telephone to
your chauffeur to bring the car around
to your front doorstep and then ride in
the park until the dinner bell rings. You
can't bring this about by legislation. Too
many other people want to do the same
thing The only chance you have to ride
in an automobile in the park is to get up
cary, go to work, attend to your busi-
ness, show good sense and aptness AID
talent in your work, save your money.
put it in bank so that somebody else will
pay for the use of it, or buy land in your
own town or invest in honest local en-
terprises, and be sane instead of crazy.
Marching in torchlight professions
standing around the depot waiting to
celebrate the arrival of your favorite can
didate, yelling at the top of your voice
when a stump speaker. making an easy
living out of easy marks. says some
thing that everybody else has been say
ing for 10 N00 wears Amt going fO helm