davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02
Up-to-Date Jokes

Quack Doctor-Yes, gentlemen.
have sold these pills for over % years,
and never heard a word of complaint.
Now, what does that prove?
Voice from the Crowd-That dead
men tell no tales, guv'nor!
Hunting SQuire-Mu.phy, you told
me there was good hunting on your
land Why we've been here an hour
and haven't seen any game
Murphy-Just So sir. But the less
game the more hunting you have.
Sandy was walking along the road
in deep thought. and it was his minis
ter who brought him to earth again
with:
"Halloa, Sandy! Thinking Of the flu
ture, eh?"
NO" replied Sandy moodily ITO
morrow's the wife's birthday, and Am
thinkin' O. the present
She put down the book with sigh
What is It, darling?" he asked.
"Ah dearest, am so happy" she
replied
But you had such a sad look in your
eyes just now"
81 know. I've been reading about the
unhappiness that wives of men Of
genius have always had to bear. Oh
Alfred. dear I'm SO glad you're just ar
ordinary sort of fellow"
| A small boy was selling papers at 8
railway station where there were SOM
I 20 or 80 persons waiting for the train.
A comedian standing by called to tbs
newsboy:
Il say, boy. would you like a new
job?"
Yes, sir" replied the boy What is
it2"
Well said the comedian, my mas
ter wants q fool"
"Oh does he ?'' said the newsboy. rs
he going to sack you. or keep two?"
Two young fellows recently attended
tea for which they had bought tickets
at ten cents each. The profits were to
go toward treat TO the aged poor. One
of them, after consuming four cups OF
tea. six ham sandwiches, plate of
bread and butter, two tea cakes, Ave
jam tarts and four large buns was pass
ing his cup for the fifth time when he
turned to his friend and said in Sc
Iious tone:
Il think every one should encourage
a thing of this sort. fits for a good
| cause, you know"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02
TWO SIDES TO A STORY.

TN HERE had been a great deal in
the papers about the proper way
for man to propose.
Mrs. Lysander John Appleton gave a
sigh.
Your father doesn't look 1t now,
she said to her daughter, but he was Il
very ardent lover when he was young.
could have done better, but Lysander
John made love so persistently that
turned down a duke and several mil
lionaires to marry him.
A sigh in which her daughter Joined.
He proposed to me nine times The
last time he said if l didn't marry him
he would throw himself in the river.
Just had to marry him or be a muir
deress."
Daysey Mayme thought of the duke
and the millionaires, and looked re-
proachfully at her mother. But now
that father was in the family. there
was no use in complaining about it.
Lysander John cut the cards in order
to give himself square deal. and laid
them out for game of Garfield
You women" he said, turning up a
queen. don't know how funny you are
If you did. and had any sense OF hui
NOR, you would laugh yourselves tc
death.
Here you are, talking all at once
about the proper way for man &c
propose.
MY dear madam" addressing tbs
queen in tones of conviction, "the mer
don't propose. They just call on a CIR
few times. and she begins to get heI
clothes ready for the wedding"
nc began to play, but turned up sc
many hearts his mind wandered back
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02
Little Bobbie S Pa
BY William F. Kirk

n Y the way, Bobbie, sed Pa to me,
n while am up here in the coun-
try I think | win have to buy
sum honey q send it hoam. newer
tasted any nicer honey than the honey
am eating now. The bees that made
this honey must have had sweet
disposishun, Pa sed.
So after we had our breakfast Pa
q me went to a place WHARF thare
was a old farmer wich had lot of
honey to sell. All the way to the
farm Pa was talking about how much
he knew about honey, I used to keep
bees myself, sed Pa, when was a
minnit | see the bees | can tell the
kind Of honey that thay make The
minnit l look a bee in the eye, Pa sed
to me. know jest how much he knows
about honey. If he looks at YOU steddy.
sed Pa. l know ne is honest bee that
doesn't beeleeve in sliteiue his work,
but if he looks kind Of shifty ! wud-
dent be surprised if his honey wud-
dent be fit to eat.
Wen we got to ware the honey was
Pa called the old farmer oaver & sed
| want to buy sum honey to send back
to New York.
All rite. the old man sed. that is
what me x the bees is here for. How
much honey do YOU want?
| want to get whole case Of it, Pa
sed, fourteen boxes the saim as my
friend John Dick got here last week.
He sed that Your bees was as honest
and hard working as the day is long.
The only thing is, sed Pa, the days is
Citing shorter now, so maybe the bees
amt on the level any moar.
Doant worry about the bees. sed the
farmer to Pa, they made all this honey
along in the summer anyhow. Jest
talk a taste Of it & SEE.
Me & Pa both tasted the honey q it
tasted fine. This seems TO be the reel
artikel, said Pa, but beefoar take it |
Wud like to look the bees oaver.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02
Valuable Beauty Hints by Elizabeth Rsden

are photographers who make a spe-
cialty of evening work, just to meet the
demands of the woman who looks pref
ty by candle light.
Never wear gloves in a photograph;
they make the hands look larger and
awkward If your hands are going to
show. the finger nails should be highly
polished; it gives more tone and color
to the picture, and makes the hands
look prettier.
Some More Hints.
Don't let a photographer arrange you
in curlicue way with your feet round
one way, your head another, and your
arms twined about the studio chair,
When a woman goes to photographer,
she generally leaves her will power and
her individuality at home. That's why
so few photographs resemble the orig
inal
"As to makeup Many people use il
when they are going to be photograph
ed Outlining the eys. especially where
the eyelashes are faint or very light, is
good. and the lips can be moistened or
rubbed over with vaseline to give them
more color. but rouge and powder give
the photograph a queer and unnatural
look and spoil the likeness.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02

those times, and said that ought to
have an operation. would not listen to
that, and when friend of my husbands
told him about Lydia E. Pinkham' Veg
etable Compound and what it had done
for his wife, was willing to take it.
Now look the picture of health and feel
like it, too. | can do all my own house,
work, work in the garden and entertain
company and enjoy them, and can walk
as far as any ordinary woman, any day
In the week. wish l could talk to every
suffering woman and girl, and tell them
what Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound has done for me. Mrs.
DEMA BETHUNE, Sikeston, Mo.
Remember, the remedy which did this
was Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound.
1t has helped thousands of women who
have been troubled with displacements,
Inflammation, liberation, tumors, irreg-
ularities, periodic pains, backache, that
bearing down feeling. indigestion, and
nervous prostration, after all other means
have failed. Why don't you try itf
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02

You can look at the bees if you want
to take a chanst, sed the farmer but /
can't see for the life of me what dif-
ferns it maiks how the bees look, as
long as you like the honey Cum on e.
look at them if you want to.
You bet want to, sed Pa nave
lived among bees too long 10 git stung
in a bizness deal
amt going to sting you but the
bees mite, sed the old man So then
he took Pa oaver to one Of the hives,
& stayed rite WHARF l was.
All l want to look at is one Of them,
sed Pa.
Thare is enc on the outside Of the
hive now sed the old farmer Pick
him up &. look him over
SO Pa picked up the bee 6. began
to look into the bees eyes TO see II
the bee looked honest & strate.
] doant know If The bee looked at
Pa In the eyes or not, but know It
stung him on the nose
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02
WELL IN ADVANCE.

81 would like to look at some house
hold goods" said the tall brunette a:
she entered the big furniture shop
You see. expect to be married soon
"Ah, indeed" said the polite clerk
Just step this way We have specis
inducements for young couples start
ing in housekeeping. When is the GLAD
event TO come OFF,"
"WeIl-er-the day hasn't been set.
tied yet"
"Oh, | see; the lucky young man has
just proposed and"
mo. he hasn't proposed yet. but
"Ah, he is going TO propose How
long has ne been calling?"
We'll, he hasn't started calling YET
but"
What is the young mans Nance"
Really. don't know at present, bu
mamma says she thinks some mic,
young man will start calling soon, sC
wanted to be In tiIrA"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02
PLAY

dilated nostrils That doesn't exactly
strike me as a description of beauty
Dilated nostrils, indeed! 1t sounds as
if she snorted, but probably she had
excellent lungs People with dilated
nostrils usually do, don't they?
please ask me ABOUT something that
know about" said little Miss Risdon
in her pretty English voice, and it final
| ly transpired that she knew a great dea
about what you should or should not dc
when posing for photograph Now
as every woman has to submit to b,
| photographed once in her life, and some
of them seem to be doing it all the time
| will quote Miss Risdon's advice:
Women make a great mistake in be-
| ing photographed in their latest and
most stylish frocks. because the photo
graph is soon out of date, just as the
frock is, while an arrangement of ar
tistic drapery never goes out Of fashion
THE same thing is true of the hair
OF course. a woman on the stage is
photographed for every part and that Is
different thing but fancy how ridicu-
| lous the picture looks today OF the
woman with ten or twelve puffs on heI
head such as were worn two years
ago. One should wear the hair as sim
ply as possible, and in an artistic OF
picturesque arrangement. that will al
| ways look well, while the fashionable
coiffeur Of five years ago now is laugh
able. Never brush your hair too fiat OF
arrange too carefully.
Another thing: Never allow a pho
| tOgrapher to take your picture wher
you are depressed In spirits or in II
health. Be photographed at the time OF
| day al which YOU look your best Some
people look very much brighter in the
evening than in the daytime, and Their
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02

Is it any wonder that the woman with
a big family who washes the way her grand
mother did has red swollen hands-big
knuckles-large veins?
Yours would be that way too, if you
had to spend one whole day out of each
week, standing over a tub of steaming suds,
rubbing Ike mad on the washboard
To say nothing of the labors of house
cleaning.
But, " thank goodness times have
changed since grandmother was a girl.
Fels-Naptha has relieved the world of
the hard rub and scrub; of the steaming
Suds. 1t washes clothes white as snow in
cool or lukewarm water, in one-half the
time and with One-tenth the effort of the
old-fashioned way.
That is why so many housewives of
today are retaining their soft, white and
shapely hands; their fine nails and their
clear, girhSh complexion. u
Follow the directions on the red and
green wrapper. Use any time of year.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02
Daysey Mayme and Her Folks
By Frances L. Gar5tde

to the days when he was young. II
those days he knew he had a heart
Now that he was old he knew NOR
about his liver.
81 had called on the woman who mar
ried me-" he resumed, three times.
remarked on my last call that youna
man who lived at a boarding house ate
a carload of fried potatoes year.
said it "omplainingly Shc oolled sym
pathetic and threw her arm around my
neck
1T seems" making wrong play
that | had proposed marriage without
knowing It, Then she sent for tn,
preacher"
He sighed, and shuffled for a new
deal.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02
The Right Way to do Your
HouseCleaninS.

Mrs. Tired N. Weory-" Here's letter from Mrs
Sprightly. She wants John and me to come over on
Wednesday night. / would just love to go-but no, |
will be housekeeping next week Scrubbng and rub
bling make me unfit for everything 1t is worse than
whole week of washdays isn't it. Anty Drudge?"
Antg Drudge-"It depends altogether on how you do
your housekeeping, my dear If you do it the
Fes-Naptha way-rub up your floors and paints with
cool or lukewarm water and Fes-Naptha Soap, you
will be fresh enough for any entertainment when
night time comes"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02
SEVEN YEARS
OF MISERY
How Mrs. Bethune was Re-
stored to Health by Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound.
Sikeston, Mo. "For seven years I
suffered everything. / was in bed for

four or five days at a
time every month,
and so weak | could
hardly walk. / had
cramps, blackjack o
and headache, an d
was so nervous and
weak that / dreaded
to see anyone or
have anyone move in
the room. The doc
tors gave me medi-
cine to ease me at
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02
Copyright, 1911, Street & Smith,
copyright, 1911, by Dodd, Mead &. Co.
TODAY's INSTALLMENT.

Orlando was in that shout of natural
forces, but he is not in this stiffness They
look aloft, but the heavens are void.
Emptiness is where life was. Oswald be-
gins TO sway, and Doris, remembering
him now and him only. has thrown her
strong young arm about him, when
What is this sound they hear high up,
! gh up in the rapidly clearing vault of
= t heavens! A throb-a steady pant
ia wing near and yet nearer-entering the
T. rclet of great branches over their heads
descending, slowly descending till they
catch another glimpse of those hazy out
lines which had no sooner taken shape
than the car disappeared from their sight
within the elliptical wall open to re-
ceive II.
1t had survived the gale! 1t has re-en-
tered its haven, and that. too. without
coliding with aught around or any shock
to those within, just as Orlando had
promised; and the world was henceforth
his! Hail to Orlando Brotherson!
Oswald could hardly restrain his mad
joy and enthusiasm. Bounding to the
door separating him from this conqueror
OF almost inVincibe forces, he pounded it
with impatient fist.
Let me in!' he cried. You've done
the trick, Orlando, you've done the trick"
Yes, | have satisfied myself, came
back in studied self-control from the
other side of the door; and with quick
turning Of the lock, Orlando stood before
them.
They never forgot him as he looked at
that moment He was drenched, battered,
palpitatng with excitement but the
majesty of success was In his eye and in
the bearing of his Incompatible figure.
As Oswald bounded towards him, he
reached out his hand, but his glance was
for Doris.
Yes he went on, in tones of sup
pressed elatiOn, there's no flaw in my
triumph. l have done all that ] set out
10 do. Now"
Why did he stop and look hurriedly
back into the hangar? lie had remem
bered observation-disclosures who at
that moment was stepping carefully from
his seat in some remote portion of the
car The triumph was not complete. He
la, meant
But there his thought stopped. Nothing
Of evil Nothing even of regret should mar
his great hour. He was a conqueroC, and
it was fer him now to reap the joy Of
conquest,
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02
Night.

Three days had passed, and Orlando
Brotherson sat in his room at the hotel
before a table laden with kilograms, let
tiers and marked newspapers The news
of rs achievement had gone abroad, and
Derby was, for the moment, the center
OF interest for two continents
His success was an established fact.
The second trial which he had made with
his car, this time with the whole town
gathered together in the streets as wit
nesses, had proved not only the RELIABLE
ity Of its mechanism, but the great ad-
yantages which it possessed for direct
fight to any given point. Already he
saw Fortune reckoning to him in the
shape of an unconditional offer of money
from frst-class source; and better still
for he was man of untiring energy
and boundless resource-that opportunity
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02
Not Exactly Right.

Miss Risdon continues to be healthy,
and she is very pretty, with traces of
her Scotch-Irish descent In her big
eyes, slight face and earnest express
sion, despite the fact that she goes con-
trary to all the best known and most
neglected rules of health and beauty.
"Have you found out what Bernard
Shaw's ideal of beauty is?" said l, with
the air of the orchestra leader when he
is "vamping' till ready.
NO" said Miss Risdon, none Of Us
know Margaret. the heroine OF Fan
ny's play, is described somewhere
think, as a vigorous young woman with
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02
By Margaret Hubbard Aver.

THIS is Miss Elizabeth Risdon, the
Fanny of "Fanny's First Play" a
very young woman, and as shy
about talking of herself as most Eng
lish actors seem to be when they first
come to this country.
During the course of the interview l
admit that l did most of the talking
somebody has to talk on these occa-
sions, and every woman likes the sound
Of her own voice
Besides, l can tell you IT is no easy
thing to draw out the secret of her
beauty from an English actress.
Miss Risdon put her hands over her
face and chortled with glee at the very
thought of having to talk on such a
topic But she didn't say anything, so
asked few of those leading questions
which would be so rude if one did not
have the excuse that the dear public
thirsts for such information, and this is
what she said:
Il know all the things you ought to
do, and I don't do one of them"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-02

THERE had been a great deal in
the papers about the proper way
for a man to propOse.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1912-01-25
Oak Hill GRANGE.

There was a public installation OF
the officers of Oak Hill Grange of Scar
boro, on Friday afternoon, Jan. 10
The following officers We're installed
by Deputy George Alden of Gorham.
master, Charles O. Libbey; overseer
Frank NJ. Harmon; lecturer, Berry,
Waldron steward, Winfred Skillings
Assistant Steward. Arthur S. Hudson;
chaplain Henry Burnham: secretary,
Arthur Ralph Libbey; treasurer Mrs.
Nettie Plummer; gate keeper. Record
l. Plummer; Ceres, Mrs. Mary f. Lib
hey; pomona, Jennie l.. Harmon, flora,
Mary E. Hudson; lady assistant stew
ard, Delona Waldron.
After the installation a short pro-
gram was given. Then all We're invited
to the dining room, where delicious
clam stew, cake, coffee and fruit We're
served. The program was as follows:
vocal solo, Violet NJ. Laidlaw; reading,
Nellie F. Hudson; piano solo, Elsie Nj.
Spear; reading, Ruth A. BowleN; vocal
solo. Ruth +. Johnson; reading, Elinor
+ Harmon: remarks. Horace +. fur-
ner; vocal solo, Mrs. Dorothy l.. Shaw.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1912-01-25

RICHMOND

Frank Kennedy of Portland passed
Sunday with his mother, Mrs. John
Kennedy.
Henry Libbey left Monday, on
short business trip to Boston.
Frank Connors was business Wis
itor in Augusta, Tuesday,
Joe Riley of Portland is spending a
few DAYS at the home of his mother
Mrs. Mary Riley of Iceboro.
Miss Laura Darling of Rockland is
spending a few days with her friend,
Miss Sadie F'airclough.
Merle Mitchell, who has been en-
ployed for the Central Maine Power
Co. at this town for the past six
months, left, Monday, for Bingham.
Miss Emma Foster of Boston is
spending a few days with friends and
relatives in town.
Mus Harry Hartshorn of Portland
is visiting her parents, Mr.. and Mrs.
Chas Tarr.
Frank McMaster was business Wis
itor in Gardiner, Wednesday.
4 dance will be held at Curtis hall,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1912-01-25

missed in all events for the advance
ment of the town and State He
served for many years as selectman
of the town and also represented the
class towns of Washington, Appleton
and Hope in the Legislature. He was
d member OF the Masonic Lodge. the
Eastern Star and the Grange and a
very earnest worker in the church
and Sunday school, being superintend-
ent of the North Union Sunday school
at the time of his death. He was the
instigator and a heavy contributor to
the soldiers monument in the square
at the village that was dedicated at
the recent town centennial held, Aug.
s, ILL., land mark that the town
may always be proud of. He was al
ways foremost in any great moral or
religious movement or reform and a
very active temperance worker, being
at the time of his death a member
of the North Union w. c. 4. u. He
was man who always weighed we'll
what he was about to do, so made
comparatively few, il any, mistakes.
No one ever went to him for aid
comfort or advice but what found him
friend in every sense of the word
A widow, son, Seldom d. Bartlett
superintendent of the Metropolitan
Life Insurance co. of the Boston dis
trict. a daughter, Mrs. Eide Stone of
Boston, Mrs. Raymond Bowley of San
Francisco. Cal, several grandchildren,
two brothers, Melvin and Charles and
a host of friends deeply and sincerely
mourn his loss. Funeral services will
be held at his late residence, on
Thursday.
Mrs. Emma Black of North Palermo
is visiting her friend, Mrs. Lottie
Jones, at Razorville.
State Sunday School Missionary w.
f. Overlook, who has been working
in Cumberland, oxford, Androscoggin
and kennebec counties, for the past
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1912-01-25
A Common Skin Trouble.

Eczema is the most annoying and
most common of all skin diseases
third of all skin troubles are
eczema in one of its various forms.
The best known treatment is the new
remedy Cadum, 1t is soothing and
antiseptic, stops the terrible itching of
eczema at once and begins healing
with the first application. Cadum can
be used with confidence in skin and
scalp troubles of adults and infants,
and has proved a blessing to thou
sands who have suffered for years
from tormenting and disfiguring skin
diseases. Cadum is antiseptic, pre-
vents infection from disease germs.
and should be in every home for
prompt use in skin troubles. OF drug
gists, Ice. and 25c. per box.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1912-01-25
low weeks. has returned home.

few weeks, has returned home.
Mi and Mrs. Ralph HILBERT of Mid
dletown. Conn, are passing their va
cation with his parents. Mr.. and Mrs.
J6nn NJ. Hilbert, at Razorville
The Eastern Star held Il public in
stallation of officers, Jan. II, when the
following officers were installed by
Past Matron Mrs. Paulena Pierpont,
assisted by Mrs+-4da Bryant as grand
marshal and Mrs. Edith Overlook as
grand chaplain: w. NJ. Mrs. Rosie
Gramer a. NJ, Mrs. Alice Ware;
Pat. e. X. Ware; Cond., Mrs. Jessie
Cramer
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1912-01-25
SPARKS FROM MAINE WIRES.

Mrs. jeanette II. Turner died at her
home on North Main street, Auburn,
Tuesday morning, aged 81, She was
the oldest woman in Auburn. Mrs.
Turner was horn in Pownai. Jan. IT.
1915. daughter OF Simeon and Sarah
Estes. She married Nathaniel Turner
of Durham in 1899. They lived in
Durham until 1855. when they moved
to Auburn. Mr.. Turner died in 1883.
They had five children of whom only
one, Elbridge Y. Turner of Auburn is
living
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1912-01-25

Rev. Mf. Holmes. district superin
tendent, preached "A very interesting
Sermon, Sunday, Jan. u. at the NJ. e
CHAPEL at Readaeld Corner. Forty-two
attended the Sunday school, after the
church services. The Depot Sunday
school, the same day. had SC in attend
ance.
w. a Wright. NJ. D.. who for two
weeks past has been suffering with in
flamation of the cornea of the left eye,
went to Auburn again. Jan. "a. for
treatment.
George w. Carson of this village is
passing a few days with his mother
in Mt Vernon, helping cut her ice.