davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Another extinct species is the man
who has never been fooled.
Nobody is sufficiently clever
dodger to avoid bill collectors.
n 4
All the longevity records are I'M
doubtedly held by the old jokes.
y =
A prominent place in fall fiction
should be given to many of the cam
paign speeches.
y
What has become of the old fash
Toned druggist who tried to sell some
thing just as good IT'S the article de-
sired?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.
[From the Philadelphia Record

GFrom the Philadelphia Record.l
The BARRIERS tip at least isn't hush
money.
Even the aviator should be sure of ms
ground.
Speaking of mountains. it isn't every
range that has coal in it.
The bookkeeper has to be pretty steady
not to lose his balance.
The people who complain that life ism
worth living do nothing to make it so.
Many a man who can hat the bulls eye
at 100 yards frequently misses a train
Some fellows would rather borrow an
umbrella than lay one by for a rainy day
1t takes a pretty good mixer to scatter
seeds of kindness while sowing a crop of
wild oats.
Wigwag-''When Tightwad tells a story
il is always at some other fellows ex-
pense-" GuzzleT-'s'rhe same condition e:.-
lists when he takes drink
Blobbs-'-To please a woman you must
first make her decide what she wants"
SIobbs-''I suppose that's why it is always
SO hard to please a woman"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25
HUNOR or THE DAY

Hard Test.-"Can get steak here
and catch the l o'clock train?" 1T de-
ponds on your teeth, r."-Meggendorfer
Blaetter-
The Hustler.-"You used to part your
hair so nicely, Reggie. Why do you wear
it without parting now7" Life is get
ting such a deuce OF rush nowadays,
my dear girl. One must save time some
where"-London Opinion.
In the Grip of Style.-Lady cat the Dot
tom of the steps)-I want to see you JUST
a minute, but this skirt Is so tight can
climb the stairs. You come out won't
YOU? Lady Gnside)-I would II coulo,
but the new hat is too wide to go through
the doorway.=Exchange-
I-nappreciative-''I can't think why the
mater calls me a -for-nothing. Last
winter I won two toboggan races, ana
also prize for pigeon shooting ana motor
racing And then lately nave been
made vice president Of the goh cluo."-
Fliegende Blaetter.
The Eemedy-Mrs. Nipper-Ah. I've got
+ba 'eadache sutthing orfuL Yer quite
Int Mrs smith. must begin ter take
1aore care o. meself. III go back
i illols GOT a nice bit o. cold pork in the
cI,ibsrd AM some pickles, an I'll ave
a nice cup O. tea and then go straight to
bed with a glass Nv 'ot gin--Sketch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom the Chicago News.l


Mailing lie won't always keep it down.
Every man is the architect Of his own
misfortune.
In planning for the future don't over
look the present.
shoemaker's wife never thinks he is
too good to last
If a woman is really fond of vocal
music she seldom tries to sing.
man may do something worthy OF
note if he succeeds in discounting his.
Experience often teaches US that It
isn't worth anything after we learn it.
Let a famous doctor name a new dis
ease and it will soon become fashionable
Many a girl has caught the man she
wanted by pretending to try to catch one
she did not want.
It is surprising how helpless some self
reliant people are when they come face to
face with some insignificant trouble.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25
4 POLITICAL BOss DEFINED.
FROM OTHER PENS
A REVOLUTION TRUST. -


Herberto Barron, commercial agent
OF Mexico, presents a novel, if not al
together acceptable, view of the unrest
IN various Latin American countries.
ms own included. Mr.. Barron has just
returned TO the United States from a
stay of six months in his native coun-
try, where he was one of the lesser
candidates for the presidency against
Dlaz before the latter's final appear
ance in the Mexican elections. He wag
closely associated with Diaz in the Did
days, and has had occasion even since
the aged leaders departure to hear
from him. Hence his words may be
taken as something more than gossip.
You may have noticed" he says,
that eight months ago the press dis
patches in this country told of plots
to assassinate the president of NicaI-
aqua and Mexico. Now, while Genera
Mena, who was a friend of Zelaya, IL
heading a revolution in Nicaragua.
and Castro is in the Canary islan5s
waiting for chance to descend on
Venezuela, the revolutionists in Mexi-
Co are getting help from some quNrter
unknown to me. and in Cuba an attack
is made upon Mr.. Gibson, the chargs
d'affaires.' Mr. Barron Furthermore
says that these ex-presidents know one
another well and are good friends. he
declares that they have men frequent
~ in Paris, the last meeting BEING
not very long ago. "All this means
to me-" he says, that there is an
movement on IOOA TO rem
state the old regime" At present, ap-
parently, we have no means of ascer-
tanning how much truth there is in
these surmises. But one thing we can
do; we can steer the safest possible
course. The mere fact that some OIL
Gals in Mexico think that outside in
f1uences are at work to promote trou-
BILE should warn us against the dan
gers of which Senator Chamberlain re-
Gently spoke. There is yet more talk
than actinr ardiDR intervention.
Before such step is taken, If it ever
must be taken, we should make every
attempt to solve the problem other
wise. We may not watch Diaz in
Paris, but we can watch developments
among troublemakers within our Dor
ders. Mr.. Barron truly says; THE
best help the United States can give to
Mexico is to continue to enforce the
neutrality laws II this is done the
revolution will soon die.-Providence
Tribune.
A NEW IDEA IN PHILANTHROPY.
Charity has assumed many forms.
but it is doubtful whether it ever as
sumed a more practical character than
in the case IF a man named Hawkins,
in Philadelphia. Hawkins was
wealthy man, and died at the ripe OH
age of SO years. Among his posses
sions were 8 houses. valued at about
$4,000 each. 1t is now made public
that prior to his death he paid off all
liens upon the property, and in his
will bequeathed the houses to the ten
ants who had been paying him rert
for many years. These houses were
worEingmen's homes, the kind thu
rent for about $25 a month, and the
1s families that occupied them have
bv this means been put into possession
of homes of their own, homes that
thew have come to love from long
wears of association. This is a new
idea in philanthropy, and one that
could we'll be imitated.-Los Angeles
Examiner.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25
PROGREss BEATS SOCIALISM.


President Taft's views on Socialism
and It's Menace" and "why Govern
ment Ownership Would Not Help the
Wage Garner" are reported in the Oc-
tober Century" by Charles Hilles,
Committee. A part of the article fol-
lows:
"A condemnation of Socialism would
hardly prove useful without some sug-
gestion of the alternative. There are
few so blind or so stupid as to deny the
existence of the very real evils which
Socialism seeks to obliterate. How are
they to be corrected if not by Social
ism? Let us suggest, by the gradual
remedying of each in its turn, a process
at times painfully slow, but gratifying
" certain; process repugnant to the
impatient, the seeker after shortcuts
to perfection, but a process which for
more than 1000 years has made for
human progress; a process which is
responsible for the civilizat ton of today
which will be responsible for the mil
lennium, if it is ever reached. Step by
step man has progressed. Step by step
he has conquered obstacles, developed
his economic systems. broadened his
commerce. invented labor-saving de-
vices and even eradicated diseases
which from time to time have threaten
ed his extinction. And step by step he
must go on to an end for there is no
broad highway nor rapid transit to per-
lection.
But slow as has been the process,
stUpendous have been the results And
this brings us back to the reference
made to the relation between the profits
OF the trusts and their possession of
natural mOnopolies. BY these are meant
undue privileges on the railways, whose
rights of way constitute natural mon
opoly. the possession of water-power,
oil and mineral deposits, as in the case
of the steel trust and the Messaba ore
fields, the oil-wells owned by the
Standard Oil Company, the water
power owned or devoted to the special
service of the paper trust, and so on.
Examination and analysis Of the trusts
will, it is believed, invariably show that
to the possession of some resource
which was by its very nature a mon
opoly has been due their acquisition
of undue advantage in commerce and
any inordinate profits they have ever
made. But, as the acts of this admin
istration prove. the Government is not
awaiting the arrival of a socialistic rev.
olution to begin the correction of these
evils in the economic system.
"Maladministration and impositions
due to the tariff have doubtless con-
tributed to the creation of monopolies
and to economic injustice. President
Taft has done everything possible to
take the tariff out of politics. and to
secure it's revision by scientific instead
of log-rolling methods. And finally, his
has prosecuted with re-
lentless hand those combinations of
trusts, which have affected combina- /
tions in restraint of trade and pursued
evil methods to drive their competitors
out of business"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

can products will naturally increase
This country is certain to profit by the
progress of it's neighbors and the more
distant nations which depend largely
upon America for staples of various
kinds.
The wider the tests the better the
outlook for business. The more extend
ed the survey of commercial and in
dustrial conditions the surer the prom
Use of good times becomes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25
DAFFYDKLS
BY q. NoALL.

If YOU deal yourself four aces would
Won call it an Ideal hand?
John Henry! Take your feet out
of the oven-)
If the king of Sweden raises shop
herd dogs on his farm does that mean
that they drive. his stockholm?
(Show that guy no mercy He's the
boob that put the bark in dogwood.)
A farmers horse may have a hard
time drawing a load but a whip has
a snap.
CPort your helm. pal There's an
iceberg ahead.l
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25
THE RAT-CATCHER.

With the bubonic plague at our doors
the ancient if not specially honored
profession of the rat-catcher may come
again into vogue, at least until science
and invention have solved the problem
of eliminating the rat altogether
In the congested and insanitary
cities of centuries ago it is
easy to iamgine the utility of such
a functionary. The profession still ex-
lists in most of our larger cities, it's
representatives, sort of noncriminal
member of the MISUNDERSTANDING
special skill or mysterious professional
secrets in his way of working. It is
not to be doubted that such individuals
are better acquainted than the rest Of
the community with the ways of the
pestilent rodents, and the success OF
some has passed into tradition as little
short of marvellous. The usefulness of
the profession should make it more re-
spectacle at this time than it has been
considered in the past. Boards of health
and sanitary authorities might well
utilize this class of workers as a tenn
porary means of warding off a threat
ening crisis like the impending cpl
demic of plague. Catching the rat, tc
be sure, like swatting the fly, is
lame and unsatisfactory expedient,
says The Journal of the American
Medical association, compared with the
method of building and starving both
out of existence; but so long as such
an anachronism as the rat exists, there
is no inconsistency in fighting it with
a medieval institution like the rat
catcbar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25


machine. The inhabitants would eat
the tires before he got through TIE
first county.
A runaway town boy is always sus-
pected of having hiked for some place
in the country, and they always l5ok
for q runaway country boy where the
electric lights are thickest. In other
words, a boys favorite idea of some
good place to be is somewhere else.
1t is reported from a short-grasS
railroad camp that one cullud gentle
man killed another cullud gentleman
over cantaloupe. 1t would be easier
to believe if the fruit had been wat
ermelon.
If you can't set to the front any 9th
err way, you might try catching 5:S5
street car. They will push you to tie
front.
In his half-column interview, Dave
Mulvane has used up his next tw
years allowance of talk, and when ne
returns, friends may expect to see him
ask for match or a ciga 'ette by MAX
ing signs.
The rube idea of a metropolitan
paper is any publication that puts u
cent item.
When a man exhibits symptoms OF
uneasiness, it does not necessarily fol-
low that he is a Leftylooie or sorae
other crook; It mag be that he is mere
ly one of those geeks who always put
on their winter ones two months too
soon.
As to a local preachers recent asser-
ton that the tight skirt ruins many
young men, we are inclined to be con
sentative, and, before endorsing MS
statement would like to know whether
or not the young man has to pay r.
said skirt.
OF course, if the young man in ques-
ton had to wear the tight skirt. the
case against said skirt is proven, ana
no further evidence need be intro
duced.
The reason so many aviators carry
passengers must be that aeroplane
finishes are SO common it takes dou-
BILE killing to get on the first page
Two crooks who gave themselves up
to the New York police are chargeu
with conscience. Chances. are, how
ever, they were willing to do anything
to get out of New York.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Eubscl 1bers OF tho state Journal
away from Ilon-e during the summer
may have the paper mailed regularly
ten cents a week or thirty cents a
month Cby vail only. Address
changed as often as desired. While
cut OF town the State Journal Wall BE-
IN You like a daily letter from home
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions. to s2v0
Bookkeeping expenses
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

Mr. Bryan appears to be drawing
bigger crowds in California than aid
Mr.. Roosevelt, and if you took Cover
nor Johnson's word for it California is
almost unanimous for the Bull Moose
1t was necessary for AIr. Bryan to
make twelve speeches in Los Angeles
the other day to accommodate all who
desired to hear him. He was schedul-
ed TO make only five.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

Something unheard of in the realm
of automobile racing happened the
other day in Wisconsin when the pro-
motors of the Vanderbilt cup race
postponed it because the course was
In an unsafe condition, due to repest-
ed rains. This is probably the first
time that any consideration whatso-
ever has been shown for the conserve :
ticll of the necks of the dare devils
who participate in auto-racing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

third in the presidential race is one of
weight. AS Mr.. Mulvane points on
there were countless Republicans for
Mr.. Roosevelt as long as he was fight
ing within the Republican party and
for the presidential nomination from
that same party that he now calls i
rotten husk'' who are not lined u;'
with him now that he has severed his
relations with the party
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

1t appears 20 have been waste OF
time and energy for the officials of ths
federal bureau of labor to have maGe
an extended inquiry which shows that
there has been a remarkable advance
in the prices of workmen's food dur
ing the past decade. Every laborer in
the country has long been well aware
of that fact
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

Nor will the use of socks by wom-
en- be opposed by mere man. Then he
will unfailingly find a pair in condition
for service whenever he looks in the
bureau drawer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

Discussing The terrible fact that
thirteen aviators have fallen to their
deaths within three weeks, the ex-
perts in the premises declare that war
has been proven impossible if air craft
are used. This seems to be a reason
able deduction. If armies are sent up
in airships, it would only be matter
of a few hours before nothing bat
their mangled remains would be
strewn over the earth. And there
wouldn't be any armies left to fight.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

No one has right to complain at
the ruling of the Oklahoma courts to
the effect that a father has the right
to protect the honor of his daughter
in any way he pleases, even to taking
the life of another. The only trouble
is that this decision is likely to encour-
age hot-tempered fathers to be trifie
previous with their protection.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

Now that rubber has been made
from whisky, the explanation is ut
hand as to why a drunken man is
never injured no matter how bad u
fail he takes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
TFrom the New York PTess.l

[From the New York PTess.I
Politics yells louder than it hurts.
Being good is an awful lonesome job.
The biggest pain man with MILL IN
has is over the fact it isn't two
It's queer how conscience bothers on
people who mostly try to do right
No matter what he does man Is a
good husband when his wife tells it to
woman with a better one.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25
KANSAS COAEENT
THE GAS "STALL.'


With each succeeding day it begins
TO look more and more as if the Kan
sas Natural Gas company is attempt
ing to put through a deal for raising
gas rates in its various branches at
the expense of the shivering public
each winter. There is plenty evidence
that there is gas enough in the fields
70 Keep all the consumers warm on
the coolest days. There is also evi-
dence to the effect that there can be
plenty of pressure injected into The
pipe line to bring about perfect con-
ultlon OF heating. Then, in addition TO
tnat, there are indications that the
pipe line company purposeIy stinted
Ine patronage on gas in order to help
aIong their plea of shortage so that
t .helr price might be raised. With all
these things in mind it is no wonder
ehat the people who have bought gas
from the Kansas Natural Gas COM
pany are anxious to get at a settle
.ileht OF the condition so that the en-
TIRE patronage may be treated fairly.
Iney do not object to a raise in the
price OF gas in case there is a real
scarcity. But when. they feel abso-
luteIy confident that thev are holding
the sack for a lot of promoters Who
want to boost the price before they
deliver the goods they are going to
make howl and make it big. The
hoWl is beginning to be heard IF the
Kansas Natural is entitled to a btgJ,
er price for its gas well and COOL.
However, if il is ''stalling" and only
Tor the erect OF securing its raise be-
fore 1t secures the gas for its con-
sumers, there should be an investi-
cation Immediately and the peonle
who buy gas should know Just what
the situation is. Kansas appreciates
its ability to burn gas for it is a con-
venient and clean fuel. But 1t ap-
preciates 1t only while 1t is getting
square deal and not being held up on
its price.-Ottawa Herald.
A POLITICAL BOSS DEFINED
There is quite little discussion Just
now as to what a political boss is The
matter will probably not be settled to
the satisfaction of all. but upon this
point We may all agree. The boss is
always a member of the other party,
your own never has a boss. and would
MT stand for one.-Lawrence Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

The English military authorities al e
in a state of CONSERVATION over the
feats of the war aeroplanes. For one
thing, there is a growing shortage of
leutenants.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

Isn't it shame the way the e;S-
press companies are being treated?
They have had to ask for time IN
which to adjust their rates't to the new
parcels post law.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal Is a member OF the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report OF that great news or
sanitation for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka
The news is received in The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole puT-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

And the judges of the supreme court
of the United States must look with
just a little envy on Ty Cobb who
seems to be in a fair way of getting a
salary of $4,000 year for his peg
Torrance in the baseball arena.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

If the Kansas suffragists really have
in their keeping tonic that will make
hair grow on bald dome, theiT
cause is as good as won. Most of the
men of these days are either bald or
getting that way fast.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

ChristabeI Pankhurst says she real
ly wouldn't venture to advise Ameri-
can women. Wherein ChriStabcl
shows the acumen of that sophisticat-
ed parsonage the American married
man.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

Among those betting on the outcome
of the baseball championship series.
the Boston Red Sox are the favorites.
But any down-and-out sport will tel;
you that he ost his roll gambling on
favorites
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

Dave Mulvane is not given very
much to political prophecy. And he
seldom speaks unless he knows wha1
he is talking about So his opini n
thai Colonel Roosevelt Will run bad
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25
BY THE WAY
NY HARVEY FARS03sA

1t is reported that Emperor willum
of Choimany has an auto with tires
made out of booze. He should avoid
trying to cross Kansas with such q
machine The inhabitants would eat
the tires before he got through TIE
first county.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-25

1t is reported from a short-grasS
railroad camp that one cullud gentle
man killed another cullud gentleman
over a cantaloupe. 1t would be easier
to believe if the fruit had been a wat
ermelon.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-10-01
TREE THAT SHOWS ANGER.
In Idaho a Species Quakes and Emits
an Unpleasant Odor.
From Harper's Weekly.

From Harpers Weekly.
In idaho there exists a species Of the
acacia tree which is entitled to be classed
as one of the wonders Of plant life. This
tree attains height of about eight feet.
When full grown it closes it's leaves to-
gether in coils each day at sunset and
curls it's twigs to the shape of pigtails.
When the tree has thus settled itself for
it's nights sleep it is said that if touched
1t will flutter as If agitated or impatient
at the disturbance. The oftener it is
averred the foliage is molested the more
violent will become the shaking Of the
branches. Finally. it is further alleged.
II the shaking be continued. the tree will
at length emit nauseating odor quite
sufficient to induce a headache in the
case of the person disturbing the tree.
In Idaho it is called the ANGRY tree. -
and it is said that it was discovered
by men who. on making camp for the