Evening star., 1912-11-24
At the End Of the Rainbow.
THE WOOING OF WOMAN.
BY Walt Mason.
By Walt Mason.

Il noticed remarked the school super
intendent that distinguished lectur-
er has stirred up argument by advancing
the theory that the cave man style of
courtship is the proper and natural Vari-
ETY. If you want a woman. says he. go
and take her. There may be something
in it, for there's no doubt that woman
loves a masterful man.
That lecturer is a good deal like GER
tain other lecturers" said the village pat
riarch, "He thinks with his feet Maybe
there is some woman in his neighborhood
who likes to be bullied. and he concludes
that all women like to be bulled. l owe
my success along matrimonial lines to
the fact that / have used my head.
have made study of females all my life.
and l soon discovered that they are as
various as men. There are men who en-
iov trouble, who would walk five miles
to take d hand in scrap. Your lecturer,
observing a man of that sort. doubtless
would go around informing the toiling
masses that all men are suffering for
bloodshed. But we know there is moth
ing in that theory Where you VIII ma
one man who has a chip on his shoulder
you will find a hundred who climb trees
or crawl under sidewalks as soon as they
scent riot.
That's the trouble with these lecturers
They generalze too much. They study
a sample human being and take it for
granted that all the rest OF us are like
the sample. They hear that certain grain
fed women smoke cigarettes, and they go
around wringing their hands, under the
impression that the majority OF women
are smokers.
The man who goes Wooing a woman
in the cave man style may score, but
the chances against him are million to
one. The probabilities are that he will
go to a hospital to have his head re-
paired. He will stand a better show
when he goes to propose to some fair
maiden, if he carries along box of cara
mels and takes off his hat when he enters
the house If he seizes the girl by the
wrists and tries to drag her away she is
pretty apt to scream for help. Then her
big husky brother, who has been playing
foot ball at college for several years, will
come into the room and dislocate most
of his joints.
The women of 1000 years ago prob
ably expected : be taken by force
That was according to the etiquette of
the time, but we have progressed since
then. The modern girl expects her lover
to fetch and carry and come when she
whistles, and lie down and roll over at
her command. and If he gets gay and
tries any masterfuI tricks she throws him
through the transom and gives her smiles
to his blond rival. who sends her bunch
of hothouse flowers every morning.
Il never had any trouble getting bride
whenever wanted one, and that was be-
cause | made a study of girls. | realized
from the beginning that they have their
different tastes. When l began counting
the woman who became my third wife |
discovered that she was fond of poetry
! Immediately purchased book of OPP
teal quotations and committed about
thousand to memory, and when l called
upon her I'd ring them in to the best ad-
vantage / had a verse on hand to fit
any topic. and she soon began to think
I was Byron in disguise. When l asked
her to be mine she fairly wrapped herself
around my neck. Now, if / had approach
ed that girl young Lochinvar come
out of the west, throwing her over my
saddlebow and ga1loping away on a foam
ing livery steed, I'd have been in Jail next