The Marshall republican., 1912-10-25
Press Clippings

ing, whistling and singing through
life wins friends by the score, but
what an idiot he II at q funeral.
A farmer approached r. L. Kent
In charge of the horse and mule
department Of the Uniontown Fsir
and said: "Enter me for a mule
"well," retorted Mr.. Kent, "you're
In the right class. Where's your
owner7"-K. c. Star.
Walnut Grove Tribune: A fash
ion paper says ears have gone
out of fashion. You mustn't have
the least sight OF an Ear Now II
tongues would 60 out Of fashion
several over-worked persons in
Walnut Grove could take a long
needed vacation.
Washington Star: $50 you want
to interest yourself In ~politics7"
awell,n replied the energetic WON
an, 81 kind o. thought maybe that
II I could tend to the politics Of
the family, John would find time
to stay home and put up some
shelves in the pantry"
In Illinois a bachelor has COM
suicide because he was tired
OF cooking for himself. In Massa-
an old maid accompli hid
the same result because she was
tired OF carrying fuel making fires
and having no one but a cat to
talk to. Too bad they couldn't
have got together.
Louisville Courier Journal:
when I first hit town." remark
ID Farmer Heck, ~ ulster stand on
, corner and wonder how all these
people managed TO live"
'well9" "weil, seeing as they
rave got S3s out OF me In four
lays II amt such a mystery after
Howe's Monthly; A newly mar
led woman made a pie for dinner
Il am afraid" the bride said,
that I left something out, and
hat it's not very good" The hus-
tried II, and said: "There Is
you could leave out that
make a pie taste like that;
rs something you've put in"
The artist Whistler IL said to
ave called an eminent throat spe-
to attend a French poodle.
rhe specialist was not pleased, but
,e rendered the required service
md took his fee. The next day
,e returned to whistler's studio.
i want to Vet you about having
ny front door painted" he said
o the astonished artist.
Rosendale Signal: A certain Ros
tndale youth received n letter
rom his best girl the other day,
nd at the close she requested
i'm to look under the stamp on
he envelope. After he had spent
.ree hours steaming the envelope
o remove the stamp, II finally
anne off, when he read; "WAs II
ard to get Off"
Kansas City Journal: They were
NO bosom friends, but although
ney were women, one of them
nd never confided her age to the
ther. eyes," she was saying, "I've
ept the secret OF my age ever
nee I was 90" 1Really, said
Dr. friend. "Never told any one? ;
expect you will some time. You |
re bound to let tho cat out of the
ag when you least expect IT,"
Not ukelyi After I have kept q /.
'cret for 10 years I'm not likely :
give II awayp
Washington Star: Secretary will Z
m, OF the Department of Agricul- 3
re, vas talking about the record Z
ops OF 1912. "These wonderful Z
he said, aare almost enough {
make you believe the c~ross-cut Z
W story. "A farmer, you know, Z
mt his hired man to n neighbours {
Ith a note saying: Friend Smith Z
wiz you please lend me your &
oss-cut saw, as ! wish to cut E
watermelon up &C as to get II 8
10 my dray?' The neighbor re- z
led, Friend Jones--I would be s
ad to lend you my saw, but Z
me has Just got stuck In a cam z
:
Any man who wishes that hs was {