davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

[From the Chicago News.1
Some men try to acquire popularity with
a club.
1t doesn't take very long for the worst
to happen.
You can't offend a homeIy woman by
telling her she isn't.
A diplomat is a man who knows when
1t is wise to be ignorant.
When girl screams on getting kissed
she has the soft pedal down.
Many a man seems to believe that the
sin is merely in being found out
A man is lucky if he comes within thin ty
days of doing what he should.
Many a man passes himself off as a
genius because he keeps his mouth shut
,Tomen seldom weigh their words
probably because they have such little
weight.
The eternal misfitness of things is fair
ly represented by a 50 frame on a 80 cent
picture.
Some men are like roosters-they crow
pretty well. but when it comes to work
they let their wives do it,
Perhaps you have noticed how nicely
woman who lives alone gets aong-and
how nicely man who lives alone doesn't.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22
GLOBE SIGHTS
ny THE ATcHusON GLOBE


An umpire is fairly lucky If he SATISFIES
either side.
A man often tries to fool himself put
he never has much luck.
An Atchison man tries so haro 10 Oe
agreeable that he is disagreeaole.
July, with all it's other faults, must De
a great source of joy to the laundryman.
A divorce case probably has the easiest
time getting it's share of free advertising.
when a man is sick, he thinks he VIII
never want to smoke againt but he re-
covers.
Sometimes a woman makes a great sue
cess in business as general manager of a
husband.
Sometimes a drunk gets the amusns
notion that he is the only sober man III
the crowd.
So much of the New Thought is fool
ishness, that more attention should ne
paid to the old variety.
bow doesn't have to be much or an
artist to convince his parents that he has
a Great Future before him in that realm
A spaniel dog is an Intelligent animal >
and never does any hard work, put hu-
man animal can't prove it in that way.
As a man begins to grow older, he
learns that there is a good deal going on
at night that he wishes wouldn't keep
him awake.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22
WISDOM FROM MISTAKES.

Is not the very best part of what
wisdom you have, is not your surest
wisdom, that which you have gained
by living through errors and wrong
notions2 writes DR.. Frank Crane in the
Woman's World for August.
When you say experience Is the best
teacher. what else do you mean than
that what you learn by recovering
from mistakes is most valuable to you?
All along your life there has been
some mysterious force leading you
back from folly to sense; a strange
rectifying principle bringing you back
always from wrong paths.
We call this Common Sense, as if
through all our individual vagaries
runs a thread of sound racial intelH-
gence that holds US after all to truth
and goodness.
Your angers, and fits of petuiance,
what If they had run on unchecked!
Nobody could reason with you, you
could not control yourself, it seemed
as if some irresistible power clutched
you; yet one thing cured you; it was
your storm spent itself under her heal
ing sunshine.
When a tree is hacked by an axe in
the forest, nature slowly but surely
fills and heals the wound. Give nature
time enough and she will reduce every
piece of carrion to wholesome dust
cover the rough wall with ivy, replen-
ish the devastated land with new
woods and people the branches with
singing birds.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22
FROM OTHER PENS
RATHER MIXED.

Although he is getting mn 49,.
party and expects it to nominate him.
nra c SH.eago next month, Roosevelt
RPracticaIy claims to be already the
republican candidate and entitled n
the votes of electors who were nonoiS
HaIeo as Republicans, wherever his
LoIlowers controlled the spring pri-
mares. He says that "as a n1affsr Of
the highest moral obIigation fIose
men are bound to vote for me. for I
am the nominee Of the rank and az.
OF the republican party" He was
NOT nominated by the convention and
there has been no nomination BY arv
other means. He is trying to orearfzs
new party, repudiates both old ONES
as non-progressive, and is going to
make himself a candidate of a real
progressive party soon, and vet he IS
already the Republican nominee aud
entitled to electoral votes as such.
But there is Mr.. Ormsby McHarg,
who endeavored to secure a majority
of delegates for Roosevelt in the Re-
publican convention by getting ND a
lot of contests, which were decided
against him. He says that it would
be revolutionary" for electors chosen
as Republicans to vote for anyone
but the nominee of the party, and that
is Mr.. Taft" "Any electoF on the Re
publican ticket" he repeats with en-
phasis, lis bound to vote for Mr.. Taft
If he cannot do that he should re-
sign before his election so that a man
who will support the nominee of the
party can take his place" McHarg
goes further and brutality declares
that no party can be built up on the
personality of one man. OF the third
party plan he says, eff anything should
happen to Mr.. Roosevelt this move
ment would be built on a more sub
stantial basis" The chance for har-
mony in the new party seems to de-
pend upon narrowing 1t down to the
that whatever Teddy says
goes."-New York Journal Of Com
merce.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22
QUAKER fluctuations.

TFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
No man likes to be over-rated, at least
by the tax assessor.
The bore would always get a good send
off If he would only CO.
The fellow who Is always the fence
always does the most Growing.
A fellow shouldn't sit in a hammock
with a girl unless he knows the ropes
THE gait's JAR" remarked the man
who was taking his first horseback ride.
The trouble with the fellow who knows
1t all is that he has so much to learn.
Discretion may be the better part Of
valor, but 1t is also the greater part of
cowardice.
Hoax-"What kind of sausages are
called dogs?" Joax-.T suppose any kird
that come by the pound"
Blobbs-'"I don't believe you have any
music in your soul" Slobbs-'T don't
think I have; every time I attend the
oper my fot goes to sleep
Who can tell me the meaning of leif-
ure2" asked the teacher. ITS the place
where married people repent" replied the
boy at the foot of the class.
Nell-"Why are you SO angry with
Jack?' Belle-"He sent me box of candy
and wrote Sweets to the sweet on it
Nell-''Why, think that was very nice''
Believes. but they happened to be
lemon drops"
Just look at those eggs, dear" re-
marked Mrs. Newlywed at the break
fast table. Don't they look simply
delicious? And such a bargain! I
got them for 20 cents a dozen, marked
down from As" And then she won
dered why Mr.. Newlywed didn't eat
any breakfast
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22

mond.'' he heard himself saying gem
"oh!'. cried the apparition, turning
AZ If to flee.
Please stay thought you were
ghost or something" he went on,
still sitting there. .old Martha has
been telling stories to me-
The girl sighed audibly.
Il apologize most humbIy," she said
in low, sweet voice that thrilled him.
you must not blame old Martha
begged her to let me come in for a
Few moments. There was no light and
voice shook slightly, for she had been
startled at finding him there.
Gladwin arose and wheeled another
chair to the fire. He tossed on some
turned to her with a charming gesture
of hospitality.
Il am sure you will rest a little
while" he said courteously.
"Oh, thank you" she hesitated and
then swept forward and sank into the
chair.
Gladwin saw that she was indeed
flesh and blood. He easily guessed
that she must be the daughter of that
fair Rosamond Dilly, who had eloped
with her lover and displeased her
stern parent.
'I am Rosamond Mallory" said the
girl with a quick upward look at the
portrait of her mother now visible in
duced- To-day is my birthday-and L
wanted to come back to the old home
and look at her picture just once
more. Grandmother does not know
she would be Mortified at such an act
She doesn't understand how I feel
about it. I never knew my mother,
but I love her memory so dearly
Gladwin's own eyes dimmed. He,
too, had never known his mother and
he understood the yearning for mother
hands and a mother heart to lean
upon.
IT know he said, hoarsely, and she
glanced at him and knew that he un-
derstood. "It is very good of you to
tell me all this, and now, if you will
honor me by remaining here as long
as you please, will send Martha to
you at once
She held out her hand, a firm pink
flesh and blood palm that he covered
in his own large grasp.
Il thank you sincerely. Mr.. Glad
wif," she said simply. 'I am sure
will be glad to meet you;
with the old place, but L feel quite
now that have met you"
You are very good,'' murmured
Gladwin as he bent over her hand.
Some day when Mrs. Dilly is able to
receive visitors I will ride over to
When he left the room Rosamond
was looking at the portrait of her
mother with the same tender gaze
that the painted Rosamond bent up
on her daughter.
He found badly frightened Martha
lingering outside the door, but when
he reassured her and sent her into
the library with a tray of refresh
ments for the unexpected visitor, she
smiled gratefully at him and there
after was devoted to him.
In time Gladwin's other dreams
came true. Into his lonely life there
came beautiful love story, and the
painted lady in the picture smiled
down upon Gladwin and his
wife, Rosamond, and their children
and upon the white-haired grand
mother, who came back into the old
home to partake of their happiness
Copyrighted 1912, by Associated Lit
erary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22
EVENING CHAT
BIZ AUTH CANERON.

Speaking of women's right have a
brand new grievance.
Another department in which men
undoubtedly have very unfair adj
And that is in the matter of pock-
cts.
Once upon a time I did lost
articles" story, which consisted in in
terviewing the clerks at some half
dozen lost articles" departments as to
which sex they thought lost the most
articles, and why.
The unanimous answer to the first
question was that women were the
biggest losers. (In a different sense
from that in which it was meant,
Agreed
In answer to the why the various
hypothesis that women were more
feather-headed, that they had too
tried to carry too many bundles, and
that they didn't know what they were
doing half the time anyway, were adj
vanced.
And no one suggested that it might
be because men are provided with
pocket space that probably aggregates
to the space in a good sized grip,
while women have none or at most
only one or two diminutiYe affairs
which they seldom use for fear of
spelling the hang of the coat. Il used
to know a little girl whose mother
promptly sewed UP the pockets of any
new garment LOT rear she might De
tempted to do such an unnatural thing
as put something in them.)
Do you know just how very many
pockets man really has?
1 doubt if you do, even If you are
a man.
I had no idea until the burning
need of this crusade occurred to me.
Then I asked the masculine man who
occasionally condescends to read
these articles, and he couldn't tell me
off hand. So we took the count to-
gether And what do you think we
found? He had fifteen pockets with
out his overcoat, and four more in
that.
In one way I should think this
plenitude of pockets would be rather
a nuisance, and that is, in remember
ing in just which pocket you had put
any particular thing.
But in all other ways this is un-
doubtedly vast injustice to our sex.
Here's a suggestion.
Why can't some woman'S club that |
hasn't quite enough committees to go |
around among all it's members, APP |
point a new committee to call the |
public attention to this injustice?
Get a dressmaker or tailor to de-
sign a feminine costume with fifteen
no, let's have sixteen-pockets, and |
lead the crusade with a banner adorn-
ed by a pretty girl in this dress.
But I don't believe any woman
would wear such a queer thing" pro-
tests Mrs Literalmind.
Well. come to think of it, there IS
that about it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22
WHY THE COAT IN SIMMER

Why do men wear coats in such hot
weather as there has been during the
last two weeks? Not one of them who
is intelligent can give an answer to
that question which will satisfy even
himself.
Men scoff at women because they
tates of fashion. But the men. in the
fundamentals of dress, don't follow
anything. They are chained to con-
ventionality.
They wear plug hats because men
have been wearing plug hats for many
years. They wear buttons on the
sleeves of their coats not knowing
that the origin of the custom dates
back to the time when handkerchiefs
were practically unknown and some en-
terprising tailor hit upon this means
of preventing the sleeves of his sar-
torial creations from becoming unduly
soiled. And here, in the year of grace,
1912, when men are breaking away
from political conventions ana tradi-
tions which had delivered them into
the hands of the Philistines, they go
about on the glaring, stony streets of
cities when the mercury is near the
top of the thermometer tube, clad a:
though they were afraid of being FROST
bitten.
And the wearing of coats in hot
weather hasn't even the merit of be-
ing a sacrifice to good appearance
For the coat, on a warm summer day
not only is uncomfortable. but looks
uncomfortable. On the other hand.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Few of the jokes are what they're
cracked I'D to be.
n
More persons ought to be Disguised
with themselves rather than with 9TH
er people.
Most of the long stories could be
shortened materially and to their adj
vantage.
T. y
Pleasant memories are a great boon.
Now is the time to provide some for
the future.
Politicians are not nearly as import
ant factors for the advancement of the
world as they think they are.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22
by THE WAY
BX HARVEY PARsoOEa

FRIEND Pip Daniels spent last week
IN tne pursuit af the festive catfish.
ana while away, witnessed q major
league game between the Chiggers and
the mosquitoes. And after returning
10 Howard he searched himself and
discovered that he must have been the
umpire.
Our Social and Accidental reporter
mas observed that Cupid is hanging
around the switchboard of the local
phone exchange. From our experience,
since the consolidation, we are fully
satisfied that the Unclothed Pest has
poLted all the girls who realized the
difference. between a telephone num-
Der and lunch invitation in Esper-
anto.
The trouble with Link Steffens is
the same trouble that causes SO many
editors to invite reporters to seek
other Walks of Life. Somewhere in
natured editor. who permitted him to
inject editorial matter into his copy
and get by with it.
And, when the headIiner referred to
it as a soft Drink Craze,'' he was not
so far wrong at thati
Saint Louis girls who wear mems
socks and brag about it, claim 1T is
because socks are cooler. Draw your
own conclusions. We believe that it
is in the interest of economy. AS you
may know, stockings come higher.
And in this season of hard times
and increased cost of living, it be-
hooves us all to watch every leg of the
desperate race between Dollar Bill and
Running Expenses.
When the impecunious nob1eman
proposes to an American heiress, it is
her father who considers the PROPOSE
ton.
The worst kind of lollop wouldn't
think of setting an alarm clock to
wake his foot when it goes to sleep,
but there are still people who affect
the belief that thick underclothes are
coolest.
Just a few days now, and President
Taft will be startled with the report
that he has been renominated on the
ticket. We hold that it is
cruelty to fairness to keep him in sus-
pense during this hot weather. Why !
doesn't some patriot wire him little
mint? |
At Providence, R. L, they have dis |
covered some 100-year-old hams.
which are so good that they are sell |
ing for 81 per pound. But up to late |
hour this afternoon the demand for
l00-year-old eggs to go with the 100 |
ham has been vurry, vurry |
slight.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22
THE TURN or THE YEARS.

THE TURN OF THE YEARS.
How may we know you, year of all!
You come. as others come,
Night-sandaled, and your flying feet
Set bells aswing in every street
But you are dumb.
We run, unwearied travellers
Still on the upward slope
OF life, to take your strong young hand
To search. to dare. to understand
Pilgrims of hope.
You lead us on, you lead US UP;
We seek your Avatar
By fords of faith the pass of tears,
Peaks of deiight-O year of years,
You take us far!
And then you go. We hear your voice,
We know your name at last.
You were the future that we sought,
And all the years may bring us naught
But you, the Past.
". H. Friedlander, in Westminster Ga
zette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22
DAFFYDMS
BY U. NOALL.

If the cat can't bark can we make
error?
CHow are you fixed for the summer?)
If the Tower of Pisa is over four
feet out of plumb and doesn't fall,
how far can a barrel of gasoline and
not burst?
Crank her up. pal. There's a long
journey ahead of us.)
If birthstone is sulphur is Yellow
stone Park?
(Johnii Don't forget to wind the
clock and put the cat out.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22
HUAOR or THE Day

! Government NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Well
have to cut out this mama business.
eminent interference. We are TO be n
dicted on four counts. They claim tire
stuff is dutiable as foreign import, that
it is obstructing traffic, restraining trade
and violation of the pure food law
Judge.
Providence tempers the wind to the g.rl
with the silk, stockings-Maxwell, iI
Judge.
A New Jersey woman has been brought
into court for carrying a revolver. It
won't to do to permit the women to take
their leap year privilege too seriously
Laughter
Madam. I am just out of the hospital
and" Don't tell me any such story ss
thati You are the same man gave
piece of pie to not two weeks ago"
'Yes'm, dat was just fore I went to de
hospital. "-Houston Post.
Loyal to Her Own Faith and Order
Aunt Matilda, who while absent from
home had evidently longed to be with her
own church people, surprised them lateIy
in conference meeting by saying. well.
brethren and sisters. 1 m glad to be back
again with those of my own disorderI'-
Judges Library.
Hard on the Clothes.-"Tm glad you're
dear?" From the way they slide and
throw themselves about, IT seems to me
that their poor wives must be forever
sewing buttons on their trousers. -
Judges Library.
I'm not afraid of woman suffrage"
said Little Binks. My wife is a mIli-
tant suffragette bat up to date / am
julius Caesar IN my house" II guess
you are, Binlxs, I 4Ress you are" said
Wiggles. There aiMre many deader ones
than julius Caesar m this world. '-Hor-
per's weekly.
Starting IN Ts,1sfness -Prettv NFiss-Ts
this the license bureau. please? Clerk
Yes. ma'am. Pretty Miss-We1l, I've just
finished my first book of poems and [
want to take out poetical hcense-how
much will il be?-Judge.
ella-Was their marriaEs
a happy one? Bella-Veryi Their divorce
was featured on the front page of all the
papers.-JudsA
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22

since he assumed all of the political
righteousness in these United States.
So far, however, he hasn't had a word
to say in reply to the questions of
Senator La Toilette concerning the
contributions to his most recent cam
paigr fund and the manner in which
II was expended.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
TFrom the New York Press.J

From the new 1Ork
When a man can fool girl, it's be-
cause she wants him to-
What girl doesn't know she can tell
a good deal straighter than what she
does.
Girls would know more about geography
If they could hemstitch the boundary
lines.
man heavily in debt has lots of peo-
nile concentrating themselves on his be-
ing in good health
Diplomacy is treating another mans as
sIIrances as if you both didn't know
that both of you were lying.
By the time girl gets her thin stock
fngs worn thinner in summer they are
nearly the way she will want to wear
them in winter
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22

If, in the next few years, suffrage
should be extended to the women of
Great Britain, none of the females now
prominent in the struggle there to
bring this about, will be able to take
advantage of it. All of them will be
in prison. Eight of their number
worked out in Ireland recently by at
tempting to burn the Dublin theater.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

eubsca Sbers OF the state Journal
away from home during the summer
Inny have the paper mailed regularly
each day to any address n the rate OF
ten cents q week or thirty cents a
month (by nail only Address
chaDged as often ms desired. While
put of town the State Journal VIII be
70 you like q dnily letter from home.
Advance payment is requested on
Ehcee short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22

That auto-polo game at Wichita the
other day may be considered to have
been a fine success. One of the autos
turned turtle. There were several
head-on collisions and innumera BILE
hair-breadth escapes from serious in
jury or death on the part of the par
ficipqntS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-22

FALSE PRET;Enrer


1t is urged that thou shalt not steaPs
Pc mace a prominent plank in the
tnlro-term platform. No party needs
such declaration more, but it does NOT
should be added, "thou shalt not a.
tempt to steal" If all the delegates to
Whom serious claim was made nv
Roosevelt at Chicago had been given
MN MN py the committee. he would stflI
nave been short of votes necessary r.
nominate him. To make 1T possibia 10
get the necessary votes it was planned
10 contest large number of deIegates
ana 10 deprive those delegates of ali
rights in the convention until Roosaveit
could so organize it as to give him cor,,-
plete control This rascalIy scheme
Iaueo. IL Is no new thing for a de-
tected malefactor to cry thief" The
same dishonest tactics are beine nian~
neo m Kansas Petitions were circu-
lated in this state for the nomination ~
republican electors with the clear mn
oerstanding that if elected thew would
vote Tor the nominees of the Een,,b1ica,,
party as declared by its national con-
e, IarttUn whoever they might be. These
eiectoraI candidates are now being
urged to run on the Republican ticl<ef
WIN the understanding that thew will
vote Tor candidates for pr-osidart 81
PRESIDENT who were not nominated
DY tne national Republican convention
ana VINO never seriously claimed q w.
10y OF the delegates to that conven-
non ana who will run as the nonninea.
OF third party convention. in Ucbic,
ioIIner republicans and Democrats a..
nVlted to participate. It win reo,,ire
much protesting of superior honastv -
, UonSeaI the dishonesty of such disren1
utaDie tactics. With most man ~.
Sely goes as a matter of course Ths,,
uo not ma it necessary to rrocIair, ~
OF even to discuss it. The man W.
boasts OF or who asserts on All occaO 80
SONS, his superior virtue. win sIwss-
oear NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Post
OH. YOU HYPOCRITEs
II The Roosevelt followers are ats
eere IN their claims in Kansas Wv
90 tney not place their electors ~,
separate ticket and let their adherents
Inc only object they can have IN
ms ling ing ON having their names On
me sae IaIt ticket is the hope of Tetttng
some OF the Taft vote.
me same spirit that actuated oar
IAN roosevelt leaders to brtn1 80
ae.end 100 contests at Chicaeo that
we're proven fraudulent on their Saos
fre So actuates them to perpetuate =
fraud on the voters of Kansas ThoS,
Olathe Mirror 0 ii'Pociiees'--