The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-18

there's throuble well remimber whin come first to tn Ar-rchy road there was an Orangeman kept tn grocery store on tn next corner, man be tn name iy Foster, an as good little fellow as iver ye see He was gr-reat frind iv nine' but twas twinty to that if wint by his store on Pathrick's day singin Tn Wearin' iv tn Green nachrally, dye mind, lords hn, hed throw something at me out v a window and not wanst but dozen times he's been so insutin an imitatn on tn Twelfth iv July that I've had to chase him blocks down tn sthreet.
 "Relijon is quare thing Be tsilf it's all right. But sprinkle little pollyticks into 1t an dinynite is bran four compared with 1t. Alone it prepares man fir bother life Combined with pollyticks it hurres him to it. Dye suppose tn old a-ads who started all these things goin cinchries ago had amy rejon2 Divvle tn bit tn likes iv thim ver had thin or now. They wanted to get piece iv land or a bunch iv money an they knew they cudden't get anybody to lave home an fight just be sayin' want land and money That wudden't make much in battle cry. So they made rellijous issue out iv it. They said to tn likes y you an me; hat fel- low over there thinks ye goin' to hell whin you die Ye take his life an I'll take his land an his money
 [" don't blame tn jocks an tn narquesses an th' ears fr bein cross about home rule. Busi- ness in their line has been bad fr some time an nanny iv tn Irish peers has had to go to wurruk sen' wine or marvin American heiresses. But we'd wondher why hero that's calkin' seams or forgin' bolts in Belfast shpyard wud care who ruled Ireland But he's got idea in his head .t, A.. f.-I trolr holt tpex'd do tn same to him that his leaders did to us whin they were on top. He can see himsllf goin' to whativer kind v haythen sarvice tn Prisbyter- vans have in barn an little Prisbyteryan boys larnin' their a-b-abs behind hedge, an you, Hinnissy. chasn tn look or Earl whatiyer he is iv Rosconnon off tn potato patch that his father chased ye'er father off fifty years ago. That's why he is singin Libulero an tearin up th' pavemint.
 But I'm afraid nawthin will come iv 1t but more wurruls fr tn sthrcet department iv Belfast an Londonderry. I'll sleep with me pike along side me bed an be ready to go over at minyit's notice. But I'll not be needed. There's hardly a chanst that therell be amy fun, Our angry little frinds frim over beyant will have to go back to wurruk whin tn whistle blows an save their rellijon fir Sundahs an their pollysicks fr holi- days. Tn jocks an tn earis will go home to England, an in few years yell hear tn same tired joke about this rivouci,ioa that tn boys who tell tn old, old vans at dinner have been tellin' abo1e olr riyouchions fir cinchry. Sir Ed Carsoa tn nthrepd lawyer who is at tn head v tt boodthirsty movement, will say: We had ten millyon Ulsthermen armed to tn teeth ready to use at a signal An why didn't they ? They were pinched be tn constabry. F'r ye can put this in ye'er little book that no rivolu- chion iver succeeded that didn't have tn polls with it."
 "An so," said Mir. Hennessy we've got thirn with us at last We aren't goin' to get annything out iy it afther all these years iv oppression.'
 "Well,' said MT. Dooley think we ought to stop all Orange procissyons on tn Twelfth " July in tn inthrests iv peace an ordher."
 "That'd be grand" said Mir Hennessy.
 (Copyight 1912: By Finley Peter Dsnas.)