davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18
According To I.nc,. 49,

some men are born foolish viii.
others wear their pants turned IN ~
the bottom. UP "'
There is very little utter hopeless
ness in this world Every man nae
Il chance to be President some dav
unless perhaps I; happens that he e.
a Democrat 40
cartoonist in vaudeville has sim
ply got to draw we'll or lose his tob
Miss Pr'nsle, proprietor OF our mil
hnery emporium. says competition is
so herce now days that there amt
more than 500 per cent. profit in
.tlnninea hats any more. and she is
"!hNihG or going out OF business.
IS getting so Teller can't carry
nome jug of vinegar any more in
this mans town. but what somabod,,
starts report that he Ia drinkin,
turrible again, and Amt 1t too had
10 his wife and family.
see there is a Teller in Cinc,nrat,
VINO has got nose six inches long
lie ought to belong to our local
SEWN circle.
william Hilliker has freshened up
.he codhsh that has stood in front OF
MS grocery for nine years bv 1ivin,
1t a coat OF white paint and any-
hodE who would like nice fresh cod :
,ish VIII find no better place - buv
It. Wy
Amos Butts, livery. feed and sa,os
STABLES. also undertaking. IS about
oisGusted, as there amt q doctor In
me place now and nobody has died
Tor eight months.
sim Hicks has put chairs in his
restaurants Must DO he is afraid tho
customers won't stand for tho food.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18
THE RIVER A PLAYGROUND.

The Lynchburg Young Mems Chris
tan Association has done 4 splendid
thing for that city in furnishing an
island campus in the James River for
tho use Of the men and boys of the
community. An otherwise useless tract
OF land in the middle of the river has
been converted Into a fine outdoor re-
sort for the best kind OF athletic
nmuscmerts. Rowing and swimming
Will be only part OF the attractions
In addition, fields for baseball. tennis
and all the. games that appeal to young
men viii! be provided and equipped
The whole will add much to the pleas
ure ana health OF the entire city at q
small cost.
The Richmond Association is pur-
suing the same admi rarole end by offer
ing summer camp for boys in the
mountains. This Will furnish an out
ing and excellent training in outd COR
life TO those who are able to part.ol-
pate in 1t. We heartily Endorse the
plan. But at the same time, we sug-
gest that this city could prohta.bly
initiate the I4ynchburg idea The river
p!ayaeld offers a chance for fresh atr
and recreat!on right at the doors OF
those who need 1t most and who are
often prevented by lack of time or
money to enjoy tho more extended
pleasures OF a camping trip. The
youths who most need this kind Of
enjoyment are frequently those who
cannot get It at any great expense
1t should be tine especial aim OF the
T. NJ. c. A. to offer opportunities 10
this class.
The facilities in Richmond for a
waterfront recreation ground are just
as fine as those in Luxembourg. The
results in health and the development
of Better bodies and characters would
amply repay the outlay Of money de-
manded. Let the summer camp in the
mountains be continued. but also LET
there be permanent camp ACCESSIBLE
In few minutes and open nearly an
the year for those whose vacation must
be uaken by the half day instead OF ,,y
the week.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18
On the Spur Of the Moment
By Roy K. Moulton


OF golden opportunity-Sitting
next to man with n diamond scarf
pm during dark scene in tho the
atre.
OF steady job-Trying to save up
enough cigar coupons to get rs
cent pipe.
or nothing to read-The ordinary
Decent magazine.
Or stitch in ,ime--Leaving the
mouse locked up just before the man
arrives to read the gas meter.
OF misunderstanding life insur-
ahce agent talk about anything else.
or sad coincidencc-Two back
srspendcr buttons leaving at tho
same instant.
OF icft-handed comrliment-Lct-
Ter from PUBLISHING house prais;ng
story. but rejecting it.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18
Avoid T'l,eap.

Automobile coming down the road
with twelve-year-old kid at the
If it's mile.
Man who wants to tell you how to
run your business. Ten TO one he
can't run his own.
Man who wants TO give you some
thing for nothing. There must be
something the matter with 1t.
datron who has daughter who is
taking singing lessons.
Gold mantel clocks II you want to
catch train.
Wedding cigars The groom eon-
orally buys them last, when he is half
out Of silver.
Kind faced old gentleman with
mutton chop whiskers. plug hat and
book under his arm.
Mince pic for breakfast.
Home-m made shirts
Folding chairs AZ funerals.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18
Voice Of the eople
prniScs Our schon1s

10 the Editor of The Times Dispatch:
Slr.-At the request of a friend who
Is Ni,hliy Interested in the public
system Of to-day. l am sending
10 you these few lines as being the
conclusion arrived at after having read
many pros ana cons" regarding the
sumo have several times been
visitor TO Randolph and sidney
.9chooIs ana vas highly pleased and
"a t'hcd WIN The routine OF studies
Gnu exercises in general. cannot
realize how or why any ono sbomId
n t' iauit or complaint about what our
eH''dren are learning. either of men
TAI or manual training. I wonder how
many residents of the city remember
III. ora LABORATORY schools which were
Wen. / attended ono OF then, for
per'od OF two months (and, by the
-. haven't been since). Now.
"hen YOU compare the methods and
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18
The Fly.
The Fly.
wadeth in the gravy and he tump-


he Wa wa In the gravy and he Jump
lie walks the rim Of your coffee cum
and dives in with a swoop;
ana when anything is served that's
extremely nice and hot,
You can always count on MIR Flv,s
being Johnny the-spot.
He comes in early springtime and 'wav
late In fall. ny
You sec him in a dazed way clinging
to the wall,
And no doubt signing in his soul that
4. he Is up .agin' it,
AS ne thinks of all your nice, good
Grub and no chance OF Jumpin'
o. ye Edsons. We scientist, hurry I'm
and make NP
Me an MA, n9,irsbip thatl fly SO fast st
So 1 can wash my face and pack nv
grip ana light out for the skies.
ana NUM- ana hunt till find world
where there are not any hiesi
i@'SHihoHu BILLY DOCK"
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18
The Parting OF the wov.

=. Sir.-The American people stand al
inc, parting of the ways One road
leads to better government greater
respect for law. increased stability of
leads to greater power In the hands
or one man, to servile courts. tn the
changing; perhaps the destruction, OF
laws which have been proven to be
wise. In all ages men have learned
the danger OF judges whose position
depends on their masters within, and
that under tho law of recall their
master Is many instead of one hardly
easily swayed by the impulse of the
moment.
Likewise they are human as. much
and as likely as they to act from
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18

To the Editor OF The Times Dispatch:
Sir.-The executive board, in charge
OF the arrangements for the recent
meeting OF the Grand Council, United
Commercial Travellers of America. beg
to extend to you their thanks for your
CO. operation and help in making the
convention such a splendid success.
CHAS WRIGHT,
Secretary,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18
QUERIES &
ANSWERS
Cattle Ships.

Cattle Ships.
Can you tell me where 1 may get
Information as to sailing OF cattle boats
from United States ports 10 Europe and
as TO likelihood OF college students se-
curing places as helpers for the voy~
age? WILLIAMSBURG.
a letter to Kingan Company. Rlch-
mond, Va. would probably bring you
the information about the boats. Tho
kingan office here has no sort of cont
nection with the matter. but 1t contains
men well informed on almost every
subject connected with the meat indus
try and courteous enough 10 be willing
to help along" whether the action
sells them a bill OF meat or not.
millionaire Farmer.
Is there millionaire farmer in Vir4
ginia? r. p SIMS
Several
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18

We expect to attend the meeting Of
'he virginia Press Association at Blue
Ridge Springs in very short time. and
We request 'nose OF our patrons who
are due us their subscription to please
pay us at once. as we must have tho
money before our trip is the alto.
sether righteous demand of tho or
ange Observer
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18

Reports from South Carolina indicate
mat the Palmetto State will not offer
Coleman La Toilette Bleaso as It's IA.
for.te son for the Democratic Vice pres.
!dcntlal nomination.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18

The girls in our town are nnneine
on the gates these days and looking
very lovely but they never FIR, with
transient people.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18

The times are about g give birth TO
great literary lass!c-what Rooso-
veit VIII say when he ia steam-roller-
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18

a scientist says that man {. ~ Dcr
cent wa'er' but it is believed that Ken.
tuckians arc an exception 10 the ryle
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18

The doctrine OF efficiency has ,,o,,
gone far enough when it wants to
make ROSTERS Sit on the eggs.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18
PROTECT TILE CITY

The electric light and power fran:
chise sought by the Richmond ami
Henrico Railway Company should no,
be granted. The franchise does no,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18

There's many clip 'twixt ch.eago
ana Tho third cup Of coffee.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-06-18

Blackberry rolls are ripe.
Omaha daily bee., 1912-03-10
Why Want to DoAway with machine Motherhood

rear them until the time comes when they have
gone through school After that, when the child
is able TO earn something, the State aid ceases
Instead of sundering and neglecting homes We
are saving and guarding them.
child needs love as a plant needs sunshine
1t needs to feel that 1t is an important figure
in the calculations Of household The child,
growing up In the sunshine Of home where 1t
is beloved. has a fair start in life. The poor
little creature who is regarded and learns to
regard itself as a fifth wheel starts with hani
dicap. or what use is a FIFTH wheel? Brought
up In an institution or in a house that is not
home to it, the child grows not only helpless
but sullen and antagonistic. Love is the great
solvent. Under its spell the ordinary person is
TRANSPORTED. and the extraordinary person
grows into something like q godhead. In an
Institution or in a house where It reluctantly
boarded the child does not learn the lesson OF
helpfulness to humanity. My pleasantest, most
inspiring memories of wellesley. like those OF
every student from the dear old college, is that
We were trained in broad spirit of helpfulness
to humanity. Those lessons persist through
life
Don't confodnd club women with idle society
women. lay charges of home neglect and family
indifference where they belong | am q member
of Fifth avenue church, and vas one Of com
mttee that visited the homes 10 learn Why our
Sunday school languished The secret We soon
learned. There was slight attendance at sun
day school because there were no children in
the members homes
Omaha daily bee., 1912-03-10

at once. He is an Archaeological we learn from the
scarab"
And butcher. learn from the cutlet,' broke in
NJ Lecocq who was ever the jealous rival of his
patriot
"He is a pastry cook" suggested Rallies. stin cycling
the pie, which was meringue.
"A farmer" declared the Thinking Machine, with
his eyes wandering from the apple to the carrot
"A carpenter, more likely" said Arsene Lupin; see
the gimlet the Ratchet and that big iron hook"
And the lanternT asked Holmes, looking aquiine
for a change.
That proves the farmer" whned the Thinking
Machine. insistenty.
mot at ALL" said Holmes ut proves we are to look
for an honest man"
Watson detained few well chosen words, and then
Rales said. airily: But we're to look for criminal
The lantern merely means it's light matter. after ALL"
Does the carrot imply we are donkeys?" demanded
NJ. Lecocq, who quick to catch implication. But
one replied for each was intent on puzzling out
the meaning of the Portrait Pare.
THE Ratchet indicates that II is buried" unused
Holmes. "and the lantern will be useful 10 digging"
I'VE don't have to dig at night" said Raffles 81
think the mutton chop and pie indicate dinner time"
well. anyway we're to dig" persisted Holmes, and
Lupn said solemnly. "of course; why that beetle is
the cew as the Gold Bug was. It's a case Of buried
treasure. The Hook. Of course is locality, penin
sula or rocky coast"
And the apple indicates the Garden Of Eden. sup
pose" jeered Arsene Lupin; its too far away, won't
SO there"
You're all too literal" said the Thinking Machine.
peevishly, "these things merely imaginative sug
gestlons. The apple is remndfu Of Paris and Helen
and So reason. the criminal we're to search for is
beautiful woman"
Then let us cherchez Ia femme at once" cried
RATES., who gallant
We'll never accomplish anything working together"
said Holmes at last "A celebrated detectives must
celebrate alone. Go ways, my friends; remember
the Portrait Parle and return tomorrow night with
the criminal It represents"
Glad to pursue their favorite and well known
methods the infaible detectives broke up the meet
ing and disappeared.
Back to the Fakir street rooms they trooped the
next night each trumphantly leading criminal Of his
selection, and each secure in a true detective
compacency that his was the right
NJ. Lupin had arrested a prominent archaeologist.
the Thinking Machine brought a clustering. weltodo
farmer, and Rallies brought dapper French pastry
cook Each had his quarry, and the meeting con-
vened President Holmes prepared to hear and pass
Judgment the various claims from his infslble
viewpoint
Omaha daily bee., 1912-03-10

Any mother who is temperate is better
guide for a child than a charitable institution
or than a woman who takes HE little one to
board. Neither gives the child the individual
moral training 1t would receive from its mother
at home.
| have first hand knowledge OF the institu
tional child for am the guardian Of one who
lived its first six years in an institution. 1t was
like all such children, q strange, sad-faced,
silent little creature, and hard as adamant. For
a long time it would not eat soup. until learned
that it wouldn't eat 1t from plate, because it
had been used to a bowl It was long time be-
fore II would drink milk from glass. for ii had
been used TO a tin cup. The. poor little thing
had not been a child in a home. 1t had been
one Of an army, the army Of the repressed. In
situations by their very conditions and necessi-
ties, crush the real self OF 9 child
The child too seldom counts in the world OF
men and women. II has become weak wiled,
and waits TO be told what to do. II is like q
chicken that has been kept in an incubator and
never allowed to run in a yard and scratch
worms for itself II becomes a creature without
self reliance, and that Is always poor sort OF
chicken. as 1t is man or woman ] am quite
aware that somebody will remember that be has
heard that the Governor Of one Of the Western
States was once a founding in an institution.
Occasionally we hear Of an exceptional result
from the institutional start in life. but in the
majority Of cases the children grow up weaklings
Omaha daily bee., 1912-03-10
By Mrs. VIM Grant Brown Cit, Federation Clubs

w yoMEN'S clubs laugh at the fear Of back
M number or ignorant folk who say that
w the club interferes with the home The
truth Is that clubs OF women are always the
force behind movements for Strengthening the
home.
The pure food law is a child of the women's
clubs The chIldrens bureau. by means OF which
we will gain the information about the needs and
conditions OF children In this country Ia our
measure But what we consider the finest flower
Of our achievement is the keeping haR orphans
under home roof and a mothers care II was
one of the organizations in the Federation OF
womens Clubs that started the Widowed Mother
Fund and our Federation. representing $4,000
women. Is soIidiy behind the bin asking the ap-
pointment OF committee of seven. who shall
keep the destitute widowed mother and her chill
dren together.
| regard this as one Of the great humane
movements Of the century. Instead OF scattering
home as direfully as the tribes were scattered
at Babel. we are working to keep the child under
a mothers influence instead OF in an institution,
and instead OF being boarded out. when there
is no room in an Institution for IT. In one case
the child is as bad OF as the other
The institution for children Is at its best, and
with the best intentions at most, maehinemade
mother j. goes through the movements Of wash
ing a cbids face. OF eombing its hair, OF feeding
IL. but it cannot do what only the real mother
can do love IL
Omaha daily bee., 1912-03-10

in the battle OF life The children OF such are
liable to become institution children. as their
forebears we're. for it has been proven that the
institution child nearly always throws back" TO
another institution child four or Eve generations
before, in It's family line
Now take the child whom the State boards
out. paying. as the law requires, IS to SO a
month for its keep. That child goes into a
family where there are three or four other chill
dren. OF course, the woman who takes the
child to board favors her own children. The lit,
tie one is an intruder. tolerated usually only be-
cause of the money 1t brings. 1t is left out OF
the household plans whenever possible. 1t gets
little fondling and few kind words. Love II sell
dom knows And what happens? 1t learns to
hate humanity. And out Of hatred the criminal
impulse is born. This unloved, lonely child joins
the crowd that fills our jails
The widowed mother Is visited by an investi-
gator of charity conditions, and is found to be
destitute. II It is found that. through no fault
OF her own, she is without funds. thechildren
are placed in a great place called home" but
that Is never such, or the State fund is drawn
upon and the little one is boarded out. All
that have pointed out follows, and the broken
beginning. to work.
The women's clubs believe that the child
should be kept under the home roof and the
mother should not be forced to 20 out to work.
The State help given, in the case, We viii say,
OF three or four children. viii enable her to keep
the children with her to love them and properly
Omaha daily bee., 1912-03-10
linal. Tia! Tia!
Sherlock Holmes, "Raffles," Arsene Lupin,
NJ. Lecocq, Carolyn Wells and Other
Lnfalhible Detectives Test the New Scientific
"SPEAKLNG LIKENESS" Discovery.
By Carolyn Wells.

new Portrait Pare one doesn't need detective In
stlnct at all"
"of course not" assented Holmes bitterly. "ons
might as we'll see the omelete and then deduce broken
eggs"
Marvellous. Holmes. marvellous" breathed Watson.
sadly half fearing he said the words for the last time
At that juncture the telephone rang and the Chief
OF Police wished speech with the society.
Being nearest the instrument, Arsene Lupin answered
Here's luck. fellows" he said, after hearing the mes
sage THE Chief wants TO hunt up q hidden
criminal and he is sending us his Portrait Parle"
Various shifts. sneers and snorts greeted this in.
formation but with true detective taciturnity they
awaited the arrival Of the laborsaving device.
messenger arrived with a box, which Watson placed
the table.
The members Of the society gathered round and stood
agape. agog and sgley while President Holmes lifted
the cover
They saw what seemed to be collection OF hastily
gathered Junk There an old lantern, gimlet.
iron hook, and q Ratchet Then in a small box
scarab, or Egyptian beetle. In another box was
apple and carrot, and wrapped In sheet of butchers
paper was an uncooked mutton chop. In q caterers
box was tempting looking pie.
Rallies looked at the pie appropriately. but after
ALL he was only dettante detective. The Others be-
ing the real thing. scorned to think Of food for
the apple.
President Holmes folded his arms and put on a look
that was saturnine TO his very finger tips what do
you hear the portrait say. gentlemen" he asked
NJ. Lupn thrust his hand among his frogged lapels
and said. oracularly:
1T is great scheme Behold, we construct our man
Omaha daily bee., 1912-03-10

farmer: nor yet, to all appearances = carpenter or
pastry cook
81 fearr began President Holmes, in a sarcastic
monotone. I'VE do entirely understand the fluent
language Of your Portrait Parle"
"No?" said the Chief of Police in SURPRISE why my
dear sir you've only to look at this see that he
is perfectly photographed by the Portrait Parle l sent
you. Observe his features Is he not lanternjawed,
beeuebrowed gimleteyed apple-cheeked and Ratchet.
faced? Has he not hook nose. mutton chop whiskers
carroty hair and pie mouth? Are you all dense
you cannot understand such speaking description
Enough. Chief" said iolmes. with a Of his
long. white hand enough; your Portrait Parle is
chatterbox!"
Omaha daily bee., 1912-03-10

very deductions that have built my Tame upon! Show
the clews and describe the Portrait parle my.
self. f5as
Omaha daily bee., 1912-03-10

sufficiently unnecessary. but this Por.
trait Parle is q thousand times
worse"
what Is it?" asked the Thinking
Machine. ENORMOUSLY, what is Por-
trait ParleT
Don't you know any French?"
asked NJ. Lecocq. superciliously: 1t is
IA portrait that tells"
TITS . speaking likeness" broke in
Rallies. and Holmes exclaimed:
Speaking likeness! It's screaming
sbsurdity!"
-It's q roaring farce" contributed
Arvene Lupin TO the general opinion.
and Luther Trant remarked thought.
fully: Its q laundering shamel"
'But what Is TT" whined the Think.
ing Machine; do somebody tell mel"
WELL said Rallies. who was ever
polite to the pettish old man. its q
way Of describing criminals 90 you
can always recognize EN-. It's spe-
cial description Of each feature. arec-
ord Of each measurement and a de-
tailed account OF any peculiarities the
subject may possess"
Perfectly absurd" ranted Holmes;
'as II those weren't the very things
! deduce from abstract ciews. The
Omaha daily bee., 1912-03-10


very deductions that have built my
me the clews. and describe the
self!v
Marvellous. Holmesl Marvelous."
said Or. Watson. but q trine me.
chemically. as he was absorbed In an
intricate testing experiment. and
had his head in a rubber bag.
4 think its q great thing" de-
cIared NJ. Lupin. III l had had such
a help in my younger days. should
now be even more celebrated than
am"
Nonsense. Lupin." said Holmes,
with q slight trace OF saturninity In
his tone. only defective detective
needs such . help. To my mind this
Portrait Psrle takes away all my
chance for spectacular exploits; 1t
leaves me no room for marvellous
deduction"
"And incidentally leaves me with.
out an appropriate comment" said
Watson. who had recovered his
head.
Detecting isn't what II used TO
Omaha daily bee., 1912-03-10

The members of the In
ternational Society of In.
fallible Detectives sat In
grim gloom until the
Chief arrived. leading an
abject looking criminal,
whom they scanned with
interest. He was assur-
edly not a scientific man.
nor was he apparently a
Omaha daily bee., 1912-03-10

The telephone bell rang.
is this Mr.. Homes?" asked the Chief OF Police
-Yes," said Holmes. aslninsly-I mean aquilinely
well. we have found the criminal We wanted. you
may call of your search"
Indeed" said Holmes. MAY ask you to bring him
here and compare him with the Portrait Parls
which you sent met"
Il will bring him at once" replied the urbane and
oblging Chief
Omaha daily bee., 1912-03-10

THE International Society Of Infallible Detectives
had assembled in their luxurious offices on
Fahdr street. this time to hold an Indignation
meeting
utterly absurd" declared President Sherlock