davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1912-09-11
OFFICIAL At UNION
STATION SNEEzES
AND BREAKS RIB
Joseph E. Flynn Has Power
full Frame, But He's Also a
Powerful Sneezer.

II there are any records put down In
rib-breaking, Joseph e. Flynn, assist
ant station master at the Union station
gets one. He has found a bran-new
way to break them, and has verified
his method by breaking one of his own.
The latest style OF rib-breaking, as
invented by Mr.. Flynn, Is simply to
sneeze real hard. That's all you have
to do. The rib will break at once-and
will stay broke, II 1t Is the same kind
Of rib as Mr.. Flynn's.
Mr.. Flynn is certainly an excellent
subject on which to try out the new
method. He stands about six feet two
and tips the scales at we'll over 200
pounds. He Is thirty-nine years old,
plays baseball, and has worked for
twenty-five years in the yards of the
Union station. Such combination OF
size and habit of living is calculated to
produce some pretty fair ribs, as ribs
60, and there is really no reason to be-
lieve otherwise about Mr.. Flynn's col
lection.
For It must be remembered that while
Mr.. Flynn has strong ribs, he Is also
q powerful sneezer. 1t was almost q
case of the irresistible force meeting
an unbreakable obstacle that mathe-
maticians have puzzled about so long
The force won, or rather the sneeze
and the bad part about 1t is that the
rib refuses to heal.
II was on a Saturday night about
three weeks ago that Mr.. Flynn felt
an inclination to sneeze. Having felt
similar inclnations several times before
and responded to them without disas'
trous effects, Mr.. Flynn promptly
sneezed.
There was at once a sharp catch In
his right side. and he began to feel pain.
The pain grew worse, so much worse
that an injection of morphine was
necessary to ease 1t. Physicians ex'
amined the place and could not tel
lust what II was, until Mr.. Flynn no
ticed that every time he sneezed oil
moved or did anything else out of the
ordinary the pain was renewed. anc
further, that there was grating sound
as OF something slipping.
When the physicians were advised of
this they at once said the RIB was frac-
tured. They advised Mr.. Flynn to take
care of himself, and let 1t heal. Mr.
Flynn Is taking care of himself, and Is
perfectly willing to let 1t heal, but the
rib doesn't seem disposed to do so. 1,
is still sliding or slipping, or doing
whatever ribs ordinarily do under
such circumstances. and. what is more
certain, 1t Is still hurting.
Unless there is decided change foi
the better, Mr.. Flynn will have himself
examined by an X-ray. For the pres
ent, however, he is remaining at his
home, 325 A street northeast. Fortunate
ly, he does not have hay fever.
The Washington times., 1912-09-11
ELDERLY FOLKS! CALOMFL, SALTS
AND CATHART|CS AREN'T FOR YOU.
Harmless gentle Syrup of Figs is best to cleanse your
stomach, liver and 80 feet of bowels of sour bile
decaying food, gases and cogged-up waste.

You old people, Syrup OF Figs is par
ticularly for you. You who don't eX
ercise as much as you need to; who
like the easy chair. You. whose steps
are slow and whose muscles are less
elastic. You must realize that your
liver and ten yards of bowels have
also become less active.
Don't regard Syrup OF Figs as physic.
1t stimulates the liver and bowels just
as exercise would do If you took
enough of II. 1t Is not harsh like
salts or Cathartics. The help which
Syrup of Figs gives to a torpid liver
and weak, sluggish bowels Is harm
less, natural, and gentle.
When eyes grow dim you help them.
Do the same with your liver and
bowels when age makes them less act
i've. There is nothing more import
ant. Costive, clogged-up bowels mean
that deCaying farmenting food Is clogged
there, and the pores or ducts in these
thirty feet of bowels suck this de-
The Washington times., 1912-09-11

caying waste and poisons into the
blood. You will never get feeling
right until this is corrected-but do
it gently. Don't have a bowel wash
day; don't use a bowel irritant. For
your sake. please use only gentle. ef-
fective Syrup of Figs. Then you are
not drugging yourself. for syrup Of
Figs is composed of only luscious
figs, SIENNA, and aromatics, which
cannot inJure.
A teaspoonful tonight will gently,
but thoroughly, move on and out of
your system by morning all the sour
bile, poisonous fermenting food and
clogged-up waste matter without
grippe, nausea, or~weakness.
But get the genuine. Ask your drug
gist for the full name, syrup of Figs
and Elixir of SIENNA" Refuse, with
contempt. any other Fig Syrup unless
1t bears the name-prepared by the
California Fig Syrup Company. Read
the label
The Washington times., 1912-09-11
LEAVES FOR GENEVA
TO ATTEND CONGRESS-
The Rev. Susanna Harris Dele
gate From the Universal
Peace Union.

The Rev Susanna Harris. of Wash
ington, delegate from the Universal
Peace Union to the nineteenth annual
Universal Peace Congress at Geneva,
Switzerland, will sail today from New
York for Paris on the Kronprinzessin
Cecile. She will also represent the Ma
tional Arbitration Society of Washing
ton and the American Woman's Repub-
lie OF st. Louis.
Mrs Belva Lockwood is attorney for
the latter organization, and, as a dele
gate to International Peace Congresses,
has been across seven times. Mrs.
Lockwood would have gone to Geneva
this year, but was detained by profess
sional duties.
The Washington times., 1912-09-11
Drinking Song Written
2O3 Years Ago Today

The ever-popular drinking song. called
I'VE Won't Go Home Till Morning"
was composed just 20S years ago today
by a French soldier, whose name is
unknown, after the Battle of NAL
plaquet The sprightly air was a
favorite of Marie Antoinette, and it
spread throughout the world. The Eng
lish and Americans adopted the tune,
fitting to 1t the words: 1--WE won't go
home till morning." and "Till daylight
doth appear
The profound simplicity of the song
naturally appealed to the befuddled in
tellect of the soldiers in carousal. For
he's a jolly good fellow" followed
after three repetitions by (Which no.
body can deny is another version sung
to the same tune.
The Washington times., 1912-09-11
Senator Hepburn
Is Much Better

who has been confined to his apart
ments in Stoneleigh Court since Con-
gress adjourned because of a nervous
breakdown and heart trouble, was so
much better today that it was an
nounced he hoped to leave Washington
about Friday for his home in the
West.
Friends of the Senator have been
greatly worried the past few days as
to his condition, but were greatly re-
lieved today when informed that he was
improving so rapidly that he expected
to be out in few days.
The Washington times., 1912-09-11
Took Bromide by Mistake,

In the Emergency Hospital today
William H. Kerfoot, house detective at
the New Ebbitt. is recovering from the
effects of bromide poisoning Kerfoot
took the preparation by mistake last
evening in his room at the Ardmore
Hotel, in Thirteenth street northwest
His condition Is not serious
The Washington times., 1912-09-11
Jacksons Grove Camp Meeting-Penn-

svlvania Railroad Trains leaving Wash
ington 10:0S a. m, l:10, and $40 p. m.
weekdays; $50 a. m, 1:10 and 5:55 p. m
Sundays will stop at Jacksons Grove
during continuance of camp, until Sept
l6 inclusive. Returning trains will leave
the Grove at 9:2S a. m, 1:SS and 6:51 p.
m. weekdays, S:43 a. m, 1:3S and 6:5l p.
IN. Sundays.-Advt.
The Washington times., 1912-09-11
Meets Tomorrow.

The Baltimore conference branch OF
the Woman's Mite Missionary Society
of the African NJ. r. Church will hold
its seventeenth annual convention to-
morrow at the Metropolitan A. M. F..
Church.
The Washington times., 1912-09-11
| Am the Want Ad!

live that others may be happy and prosperous.
Every day carry hundreds of messages to many thou
sands of men and women Never there such
busy worker, such tireless worker as l.
purse is lost; restore it.
home is without maid, maid is without
place; bring them together.
New furniture is bought. | find purchaser for
the old. How many attics have emptied, to the
housewives profit!
Is there laundering, scrubbng, whewashing,
painting, sodding, to be done? Leave it to me!
One man has house for sale; another is looking
for home. They consult me, and 10! the house
changes hands.
Bookkeepers, statesmen, stenographers wachn1en
all kinds of workers-look to me to keep payday
alive.
Merchants and manufacturers call me, saying: 81
want such and such help" In the morning they have
only to choose.
How my work is appreciated! People never tire
of prasing me- am swift, faithful; yet make
no promises. simply do the best can for one and
ALL
And how cheaply work. have sold second
hand automobiles at the cost of gallon of gasoene.
man bought piece of property one day; the next,
he sent me out to sell it; the next, the deed was
recorded. He made s6oo.oo less my fee of 80 cents
Is it any wonder am popular' And isn't it wonder
am content to dress in six-point type? Why every
day somebody telephones, calling me off the job,
saying have done enough.
haven't always been as important as am now.
Oh, dear, no There was time when | had very
few opportunities to exercise my talents. remember
how good felt when first filled column. Every
one in the office talked about it. But now Well,
you can see for yourself how have grown. Yet how
could help growing, when was all the time doing
such wonderful things?
am still growing. The doctor says it is because
my circulation is so good. am glad of it. | want
to become more and more useful to the people of
this big, beautiful city. If there any whom |
haven't served present my most respectful compli-
ments and solicit test of my powers. AS for my old
customers, they feel of course, that they can't get
along without me!
The Washington times., 1912-09-11
Four Escape Injury
When Car Hits Wagon

Giuseppe Corrido, proprietor of a
store in Seventh street northwest; Jo-
seph Miller, of 1415 Eighth street north
west, and Milier's two children, Cecilia
aged eight, and Annie, aged six, had a
narrow escape from serious injury last
evening, when wagon, loaded with
watermeIons, in which they were riding
was rammed by a Seventh street car
All were thrown out and badly shaken
UP, but not otherwise injured.
Nogai Sekitaro, a japanese, of l2il
Seventh street northwest, was struck
by an automobile of George Caspar, OF
1903 Seventh street northwest, and hurt
about the leg last night. The accident
happened in Seventh street northwest
Sekitaro was treated at the Emergency
Hospital.
The Washington times., 1912-09-11
FEEL FINE! LIVER RIGHT, STOMACH
SWEET, HEADACHE GONE" -"CASCARETS"


rom the
ell II a
The Washington times., 1912-09-11

Choice Roses, soc Dozen.
These are fresh cut, home grown
roses-different varieties GUIDE, 1214 F
st.-Advt.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1912-02-08

The woman who ''keeps house" has
enough to do when she is in good, sound
health, but if she is weak, tired all the
time, and suffering from morn to night
with an aching back, house work becomes
a heavy burden.
Many women who were afflicted IN this
way say that Doan's Kidney Pills have
made life easier for them.
Women are subject to kidney disease.
The clothing they wear, the work they do,
the worry and strain of bearing and rear
ing children, the lack of proper exercise;
all tend to it.
Backache, bearing-down pains, headache,
dizzy spells, faintness, fits of "blues," and
other troubles often thought to be peculiar
to the sex, are found frequently in kidney
disease. When any one of these ills APP
pears, together with discolored condi-
ton of the kidney secretions, with passages
too frequent, scanty or burning, just make
up your mind that your kidneys are weak,
and be quick to help them.
Doan's Kidney Pills have helped a great
many weak women through the trying
times when kidney disease means so much
added misery. They do not disturb the
stomach or bowels and contain no poison
Gus, dangerous nor habit-forming drugs.
Doan's are harmless for children too.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1912-02-08
Her Rubber Wedding Shoes

Kaiser Wilhelm's harbor the German
government has stationed Dr. Heise-
gang as medical officer. He is a busy
man. Natives by the dozen come to
him, not to be treated for illness, but
to get the benefit of his professional
opinion on how to scar themselves ar
tistically.
The natives are very fond of scars,
and nearly all of them are covered
with specimens which have resulted
from self-infiicted wounds which were
kept. open by frequent scratching or
by the introduction of foreign sub
stances like sand, bamboo shells and
so forth. The excrescence which re-
suits from the average vaccination is
scratched off at the proper time, and
the resulting large scar is very dear
to the native.
A young islander whose face and
body are a mass of cuts, bruises and
scars is considered the catch of the
season by the dusky bellies.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1912-02-08
SYNOPSIS.

Jack Keith. a Virginian. now Dor
der p1ainsman. il looking Tor roaming Wal
parties 0f sayages. He sees wagon team
at full gallon pursued by men on ponies.
When Keith reaches the wagon the RAD
ers have massacred two men ana 1,, ue
parted He searches the victims nnolns
papers and a loeket with woman's por-
trait Keith is arrested at Carson Guy
charged with the murder, his accuser De-
ing a ruffan named Black Bart. a negro
companion In his cell named Neb tells MN
that he knew the Keiths In Virginia Nep
Sibley. the other Gen. Willis Waite; form
erly a Confederate officer. The plalnsHIidIi
and Neb escape, and later the IuglIlEess
come upon cabin and find its occupaint
to be a young girl whom Keith THINKS
he saw at Carson City. The girl explains
that she is In search Of brother, VINO
had deserted from the army, and thaI
Mr.. Hawley induced her to come to the
cabin while he sought her brother. t1dW-
ley appears. and Keith in hiding recog-
Ejzes him as Black Bart. There Is ter
rife battle in the darkened room in WnlcIi
Keith is victor. Horses are appropriated.
and the girl who says that her name Is
Hope, joins in the escape. Keith explains
his situation and the fugitives make LOT
Fort Larned. where the girl is left with
the hotel landlady. Miss Hope tells th ma
she IS the daughter of General Waite.
Keith and Neb drift into Sheridan. where
Keith meets an old friend DIR. Falrbaln.
Keith meets the brother of Hope Waite Waite
loughby. and becomes convinced that
Black Bart has some plot involving inc
was thought murdered, is at Sheridan.
and goes there, where she is mistaken FOR
Christie Maclaire. the Carson City singer.
Keith meets the real Christie Maclaire
and finds that Black Bart has CONVINCED
her that there is a mystery in her life
which he is going to turn TO her advan.
tage. The painsman tells Hope Waite of
her resemblance TO Christie Maclaire
They decide that Fred Willoughby may
hold the key to the situation. Keith finds
Willoughby shot dead. Hope is told of
the death of her brother Keith fails to
learn what representations Black Bart
has made to Christie Maclaire. Hope
suggests that in order to learn the secret
she must briefly impersonate the stage
singer. DR.. Fairbain is In love with
Christie Maclaire and Keith induces him
10 detain her from the stage while Hope
goes TO the theater where she meets
Black Bart, who, thus deceived, tells
Hope that General Waite has suspected
hts. plans and that they must fly. Hope,
greatly alarmed, demurs. General Waite
appears and says Black Bart has stolen
papers from him regarding an inherit
lance. Keith is informed that Christie
Maclaires real name is Phyllis Gale and
that she is the half sister of Hope. The
latter has beer carried away by Black
Bart ard his gang
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1912-02-08

| prising, that all power of expression
| lifted her face and looked into her
eyes. Perhaps she realized-with the
swift intuition of a clever woman
the mans perplexity, for instantly she
| led his mind to other things.
But let US not talk of ourselves
any more, tonight. There is so much
wish to know; so much that ought
to be DONE" She sprang to her feet.
/ why, it is almost shameful for us to
stay here. selfishly happy, while 9TH
ers are in such trouble. Have they
discovered Hopper
mo; we secured the whole town
and found no trace. Now they are out
side on the prairie. but there can be
little chance of their picking up a
trail before daylight"
And Hawley?'
doubt they are together. What do
you suppose he can want Of her? How
| do you imagine he ever got her to
go with him? She isn't that sort of q
| girl
She shook her head. shivering a lit
| tle
He must have mistaken her for
me-perhaps has not even yet discov-
cred his mistake. !, But what it all
means, or how he gained her consent
to go with him, cannot conceive"
! She stood with hands clasped. star
ing out of the window.
There is little light showing al
ready" she exclaimed, pointing. See.
yonder Oh, trust they will find her
alive, and unhurt That man, | be-
lieve, is capable of any crime. But
couldn't you be of some help? Why
should you remain here with me? 1
am in no danger"
"You really wish me to go. Chris
tie?"
mot that way-not that way" and
she turned impulsively, with hands
outstretched. "Of course | want you
here with me, but | want you to help
bring Hope back"
He drew her to him, supremacy hap
| by now, every feeling of embarrass-
me0C lOSC IN complete C0ItdiHIy Vi POS
| session
| And | will" he said solemnly
Wherever they may have gone shall
| follow. | am going now, dear, and
when come back you'll be glad to see
me?"
Shall IL" her eyes uplifted to his
own, and swimming in tears. Il will
be the happiest girl in all the world.
reckon Oh, what night this has
been! What wonderful night! 1t
has given me a name. mother. anu
the man I love-"
He kissed her, not in passion. but
| in simple tenderness, and as he turned
away she sank upon her knees at the
window, with head bowed upon the
sill At the door he paused and
looked back, and she turned and
smiled at him. Then he went out.
and she knelt there silently, gazing
| forth into the, dawn. her eyes blurred
with tears-facing a new day. and a
new life.
(TO BE CONTINUEDo
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1912-02-08
A Terrible Tale of Kidney Suffering.

Mrs. H. w. Heagy, 1916 L St., Bakers
field, Cal, says: My kidney trouble began
in the fall of 1907 i used remedy after
remedy prescribed by physicians but no re-
lief came and | was in despair. On ac-
count of the numbness and grating sensa-
ton could not lie down comfortably and
some nights / was not in bed half an hour
l became so nervous and restless hardly
knew what to do. Hot waves came over
me like a flash and | became so dizzy that
staggered. had feeling as if there
was gravel in my bladder, the kidney Sc
cretions acting too freely at times, while
again they were very scant and accom-
panied by terrible pain. | cannot describe
the suffering endured for over two years.
Finally began using Doan's Kidney Pills
and while l did not notice much relief for
week or SO, continued persistently and
when / had taken eight boxes l was feel
ing fine. The numbness and smarting fin
ally left, the kidney secrstions became
clear and natural and my Eealth improved
one hundred percent. Doan's Kidney Pills
cured me at time when it seemed that
would go crazy and never can express
my gratitude"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1912-02-08
A True Son of the South.

A statue was unveiled at Sceaux to
CLOVIS Hughes, poet and deputy. says
the Paris correspondent of the Lon.
dor Standard. Clovis Hughes was a
TYPICAL son of the south. and like all
Mffseillais he believed that the Paris
bculevards would be a very fair imi
tstion of the Cannabiere if there were
only bit of sea at the end of the
street. One afternoon in Marseilles
Partisan ventured to claim some
charm for Paris. Absurd" said Clovis
Hughes, Paris cannot compare with
Marseilles at all. Here, at least, we
have the SUM-" We have the sun in
Paris, too" remarked his friend "Ah.
babi" said Clovis Hughes: your sun
in Paris is only an old moon which
Marseiiles has no further use for"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1912-02-08
Bric@ Discovered to Her Dismay She
Fiad on Her Mothers Largest
Gaioshes.

I'll was not until after the ceremony
had teen performed and / was coming
dowE the aisle on my husbands ARM
said sdrs. June Bride, that discover
ed''--she paused and tremor passed
over Aer delicate features.
That you discovered prompted
nearer.
There was not prettier wedding
in Rschercheville this spring than
mine she resumed retrospectiyely
My gown was a dream and | must
admis looked very well. 1t rained in
torrents on the morning of my we'd
ding day, and when we were about to
start for church somebody hustled me
into a rain coat and rubbers, SO
might not get damp going from my
door to the carriage. The sun came
out fust as we reached the church, but
WIS too nervous and excited to no
tice. | only knew that somebody help
ed fne out of the carriage, that some
bod; else removed my rain coat and
thas somebody gave my veil final
toueh-and next thing | remember
vita clearness was coming down the
ais.e on Jacks arm and then when it
was too late, the miserable discovery
wss made.
Dearest whispered Jack, what
undar the canopy have you got On
your feet?'
"'srty feet,' murmured and. glaze
ing iown, perceived that my snuw,
shimloering wedding gown was Lot
long enough to conceal the dreadful
fact that | wore mas Oldest and
Target pair of rubbers!"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1912-02-08
WOMEN AND HEALTH.

Women are beginning to realize
more fully that good health is not to
be found in the use of cosmetics and
face powders. The appearance OF
health may follow facial treatment,
but health itself lies much deeper than
the surface.
Most important to the health OF ev-
and digestive organs. The weary
eyes, bad breath, frequent headaches,
pimples and general air of lassitude,
is in most every case due to consti-
patton or Indigestion, or both. There
are various remedies prescribed for
this condition, but the easiest, most
pleasant and certainly effective, is
a combination of simple laxative
herbs with pepsin known to druggists
as DR.. Caldwells Syrup Pepsin. This
simple remedy is far preferable to
harsh salts and cathartics and violent
purgative waters that disturb the
whole system without affording more
than temporary relief.
DR.. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin is a
tonic laxative, mild in it's action,
pleasant to the taste and positive IN
it's effect, Strengthening the muscles
of stomach and bowels SO that after
a short time these organs regain the
power to perform their natural func-
tons without assistance.
DIR. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin is sold
nv druggists everywhere in soc and
s1.00 bottles. If you have never tried
it, write for a sample to DR.. w. B.
Caldwell, POI Washington ST., Month
cello, ILL.,; he will gladly send trial
bottle without any expense to you
whatever.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1912-02-08
SuccessWard.

Miss Annie S. Peck. the famous
mountaineer, was talking at garden
plated climb in the Andes.
ITO what" said a girlhood friend
from Providence. do you attribute,
Miss Peck, your success as a noun
taineer?"
Simply to perseverance, to assid-
uity,'' the other answered. THAT is
the secret of all success. A great de-
partment store keeper put the idea.
though, more neatly thar have done.
At a birthday dinner he said: I at
tribute my success u the fact that if
a customer doesn't see yhat she
wants I've always made her want
what she Sees