The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-06-04

By EMILY NEWELL BLAIR
Being Extracted from the Journal of Gladys May Haney

I ask myself. don't see any place for girl alone without folks I've studied it all out. It's taken me three weeks. Every other girl at that dance had mother there except me. That's the difference be twen us How can I play lady without folks? can't And yet now can't be satisfied to go back and be just as were.
 December 22nd Pa had decided that Miss Knox shall take me abroad. And a year ago didn't know there was any "abroad"l Miss Knox was planning to spend three months, but pa says we go together and stay year. I'm too happy for words over it.
 February 12 1sos Mr. Payne is back He was called away shortly to return He is sorry am going away soon, etc., etc. I really think he is relieved know am. The cutting to his pattern is painful. going away to find myself, and I'm too too thankful for the chance. We sail next week.
 aes
 March 1, 1909. We are back again in America I wonder hundred times day if I am the same girl who went away year ago. Every says changed, and, of course I am. One can't polish as.I have polished without changing the surface And one can't live as have this past year without feeling the difference coming back to home like mine. tried so hard to forget it. so would to belong to a different kind that I had forgotten and the return-wer it jared It may sound silly. but suppose it hurts me worse than if had been used it, mother doing the kitchen work, and fathers table manners.
 $, April 1st I am so discouraged The folks seemed to accept all said and did and be very glad for me to show them, at first, and have worked dreadfully hard It is not any fun for personally conduct every meal and stand like two-edged sword between mother and the servants and do the whole house. and yet they all act abused, as if it was for my benefit,
 April 2nd Mfr. Payne called tonight. It was veify awkward at first, could not forget the basis of our friend ship. and neither, suppose, could he. He said the right and complimentary things about me changing, and that he hoped had not changed too much, etc. fenced, and told him that he must be careful, for understood his language now We got off on Eu- ropean subjects as soon decently could and had a very interesting visit. s4s
 As he left he said: Do you mind my saying that you are as refreshing as ever ?" And as green?" asked NO, interesting" he corrected me, holding my hand just second longer than necessary.
 April 18th. told father yesterday that there was no use giving me money to spend if he will not live up to it that 1t takes more than money-it takes effort. He said that was all right-if it was my effort that he spent all his making the money
 To-day when went upstairs I mother sitting ln her room, the tears rolling down her cheeks. had been cross because she told the parlorad that my Sanothrace was not really broken, but was John the Baptist. went in at once to comfort her, and little by little had it all out of her. She is just homesick for her old friends her old life her own people. She calls >ths all unconsciousy, "Gladys's house." She took up to the third floor and un- locked room where she has new sdeboard-the 1ind she Hkes-and the old crayons and two chromos grew up with besides handicapped table holding gorgeous plush album cried then and took my dear mother in my arms though she were child. After we had calmed down, insisted on her fixing up her own rooms just as she pleased She has even been afraid to go to Zincite her friends snceI came home, for fear would not like it
 May 1st MT. Payne was here tonight He comes very often now, and we are reading together again. He is diff ferent from any other ever knew I always get along with men--its always game with them to see who comes out ahead; but with him, somehow, can't play. In spite ef all the fun we have--and I love to make him laugh his boyish, whole-souled