The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-10-17
On the Spur Of the
Moment.
r.; Rov X Mn,s1Snn.

| Moment.
By Roy K. Moulton.
:. .TAs Neighbe9.
My neighbor who resides next door
Forsake his downy couch at four
! Most cheerfully to NOW his lawn
And rouses all Of Us ut dawn.
My neighbor has a daughter who
Takes singing lessons as girls do
She practices the morning long:
Six weeks she's sung the same old
song.
My neighbor has a raft OF boys.
Who make most astounding noise.
They play baseball. and ''One old cat"
For racket there's some class to that
My neighbor has three charming
maids,
The young men sing beneath their
bower;
It doesn't matter at what hour.
A pianola, too. has he.
He hits 1t up in greatest slee;
He starts to playing II at eight.
TIL midnight he keeps UP his gait.
Ny neighbor has q kid that yells .
From midnight on In frequent spells.
He keeps on yelling until dawn,
Then dad gets up and mows the lawn.
Performance is continuous.
But, still, the neighbor next to W
Is one Of many on the pike,
For neighbors are most all alike.
Mushrooms.
The mushroom season now IL on
Tho experts are advising folks
How to pick out the harmless ones,
And not the kind from which taey'n
croak.
There's only one sure way to tell
Just eat tho thing and try:
It's sure q mushroom II sou live,
And q toadstool II you die.
Things to Think Abont.
There are 5,ss7.s73.64s microbes on
Q $4,000 bill II you don't believe II
take one Of your SO. coo bills some dull
afternoon and count them.
Married man are more thoughtful
than single men. Not because they
want to be. but because they have TO
be.
Il you want Q meal Of considerable
variety. one IN fact which contains
almos: everything. order Hungarian
goulASh.
Pullman car porters are somewhat
dignined but they will not refuse ten
cents II you don't offer them any
more.
One OF the worst ways TO make
ait with a man Is to call him by his
first name the first time you meet
him.
The court has ordered Kansas
sheriff to empty 1900 bottles OF beer.
There are doubtless some Kansas
sheriffs who could do it and then ask
John D. Rockefeller has declined to
EXPRESS a choice for president That
Is one case in which every candi-
date can consider himself very lucky
The report that q boy in New York
city was bitten by q franksurter was
probably slightly exaggerated.
Secretary McVeaSh would make
banknotes smaller 80 thSt they will
be easier to carry. but most folks
could carry q lot more Of them than
they have right now.
clifford P!nchot has fallen out OF
an automobile. out he didn't get as
did the time he fell out with Nj.
Taft
A woman at Niagara Fails has
twsnty-e. eight children. Let 1t be hoped
they do not all grow up to be sight
seeing hack drivers. -
A magazine writer says Woodrow
Wilson has a highly developed sense
of hunnor. But it IL the v!ce-presi-
dent who needs that
According to Uncle Abnez.
A Teller who sits in q poker game
on . Pullman car with three strang-
ers amt entitled to any sympathy.
Hank Tumms says he is glad his
kid was born in Canada bekus he
will never have to run for president
Of this country.
The dollar watch has certainly put
a cr.mp in the holdup business.
Tho gal who can make 81 hat
loolS like SIS before marriage doesn't
aIways try to do IT afterwards
Nothing will get q crowd like a
free iced.
You can always tell q cheap skate
in spite Of his disguise.
Hank Tumms says he will eat his
hat II Wilson IL elected II IL .
straw hat and he Will run It through
a meat chopper and eat il for break
fast food
Old man Hicks Of our town says
judgin' BY the sentiment in this
neighborhood he 10 sure the Prohibi-
ton party amt Ecin' to elect . Presi-
dent for several years yet
News are very scarce In our VII
,age Just now as the SEWN circle has
adjourned and folks will now have
70 depend upon what little they can
get from the newspaper.