davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05
REPARTEE
From the Cincinnati Times-star.

From the Cincinnati Times-Star
 Some folk are endowed with a gift for immediate repartee. The other day a very fat man climbed deliberately on the rear stoop of a pay as you enter car. When he got aboard he very carefully frisked himself for the fare. A very small wiry. nervous. agitated woman fumed be- hind him. Move on,'' she snapped at him. punching him in his padded tender loin.
 The fat man turned ponderously. inter- rupting his search for a nickel that he might gratify slow moving. bovine curl osity. Then he went through some of his other pockets. finally found the coin. and dropped it in the box. He pushed himself through the narrow door. Almost before he was inside the little woman had dropped her nickel. seized a transfer and popped through the aperture. The fat man seated himself with dignity, and placed his stomach on his knees, and surveyed the car full The little. angry woman, finding no other seat in the car vacant, wedsed herself into a crack by his side and dug him with sour elbow. He turned his puffy eyes upon her. "Chiv- alryr' she said scornfully. looking as though she would like to bite him in the ear.
 'suffragette!g he replied. placidly.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05
ohio's Constitutional Convention

The constitutional convention of Ohio, which met last January, is still in session, and 42 proposed amend ments have been adopted, and the number will be increased before ad- journment. The amendments will probably be submitted to the people in September, and many of them are of general public interest. Many new ideas are embraced in these amend ments, as the following list shows:
 In civil cases agreement of nine jurors to be verdict.
 Equal suffrage.
 The initiative and the referendum.
 Appeals in felony cases to be lim- ited to one review.
 To authorize the issuing of $50, 0,000,- 900 in bonds for good roads.
 Establishing the minimum wage.
 To authorize the use of voting ma chimes.
 To abolish capital punishment. Statewide primaries and direct nom ination of senators.
 To tax inheritance, incomes and franchises.
 Civil service for all state appointive positions.
 The recall of judges was voted down, and it will not be submitted to the people. Many of the amendments are of local interest only, and the fear is expressed that the length of the ballot will prevent a full and faii expression of opinion, although the best observers predict that all will be adopted by large majorities in the September election.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05

nights, and as it is risky to walk abroad In the moonlight only such of the stran- gers within the gates as are fond of the spice of adventure tour the streets after dinner unattended. The sprinkers of streets who carry water in goat skins, distributing it from the throat of the skin, are effective from a practical stand point, as well as pictorially, in many eastern cities. The substitution of sprink- ling carts for sprinkling men is the least desirable improvement mentioned. Labor is highly specialized in the near east as well as the far east. Sprinkling carts will probably turn out of employment many carriers of goat skin water bags, only to turn into the pockets of some grating foreign "concessionaire" exorbitant pay ment for sprinkling the streets in the modern way The contemplated improve ments are, however as a whole, calcu- lated to remove a number of grave and universally admitted evils
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05
FORCE OF HABIT

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 The editor is reminded of an inci- dent that happened a week ago Two nice girls, out for early bargains. met in front of store on the avenue.
 q saw you in church yesterday, dear" " gurgled one.
 "oh, were you in church?' gurgled the other.
 "Yes. love And noticed that you had at last made your husband accom- pany you to divine worship"
 "Of course he went with me. He'd rather go to the theatre, but the thea tres aren't showing anything on Sun days now. But he disgraced me-
 "In church? How
 The rector read four chapters from The Acts Of the Apostles And my hus- band insisted on getting up and going out after every act"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05
THE STRENGTH OF UNDERWOOD

From the Providence Journal
 Mir. Underwood is classed as con- servative merely because he is not en- thusiastic for that trinity of political remedies, the initiative, referendum and recall. He is one of the best and sin cerest reformers in the ranks of the democratic party. He represents as scarcely another democratic leader does tho movement for prompt and genuine downward revision of the tariff. He has done his best for the economical admin
 stration of public affairs. He was in the forefront of the movement for the reform of the House rules, and under the terms of that reform has shown himself tactful, industrious and efficient leader. Unlike the speaker of the House, who was eager to be registered in favor of the Sherwood pension bill, he flatly op- posed that indefensible proposition to gouge the federal treasury; and while other presidential candidates have been touring the country, seeking votes, he has stayed quietly In Washington, mind- ing his own and the country's business, and adding to the esteem in which his fellow citizens already held him.
 If New Yorl's ninety votes should be cast for MT. Underwood it is probable that Connecticut's fourteen could be se- cured in his behalf. He has many friends in Rhode Island, and throughout New England. indeed. and 1t is not in- conceivable that he may prove the likeli- est of all the dark horses and dash off with the prize. The party needs no bet ter candidate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05
Governor O'Neal's Tax Interview


 Governor O'Neal's statement con- corning the acts of his appointees on the state tax board and of county tax commissioner in Jefferson county is manifestly open to the objection that a raise of upward of $70,000,000 in assessments in one year in one county is without parallel in the history of the state. The people cannot be blamed if they think that the trouble is at the bottom a matter of fat fees.
 Governor O'Neal says that the state tax commission had to begin some where. It began it's work in Jefferson county, where assessments have been raised at the rate of $10,O00,000 or $11 100000 year. It did not begin in Butler and Lauderdale where the combined assessments are probably less than the annual raise in Jeffer- son and where pension and school moneys outrun all taxes paid to the state. The talk about beginning is, however, misleading, for no statement has been made of any considerable raises in any other county, and The Age-Herald ventures the prediction that none will be reported.
 The county tax commissioners of Montgomery did report, it appears, a goodly number of raises, but the board of revenue refused to docket any of them, and thus Jefferson stands alone, and it is threatened with increases that aggregate $76,- 100000 in single year!
 The board of revenue in Montgom- cry county refused to docket all in creases reported by the tax commits sioner of that county on the ground that it could be compelled to docket cases involving assessments made by the county tax assessor alone. An assessment made by the county tax commissioner is a horse of another color, and the board of revenue can exercise it's discretion concerning it. The board of revenue of Montgomery county decided to pigeon hole the as- easements brought before it by the county tax commissioner. The gov ernor overlooks the sections of the code that give the board of revenue power over increased as- made by the county tax The county tax asses sor and the county tax commissioner are two different individuals, and their fees do not rest on a similar ha sic aHa
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05
Congress May Sit Until August

The House has cut out from the sundry appropriation bill the appro- priation for President Taft's tariff ! board, and the Senate has put into the naval appropriation bill provision for two more battleships. These two questions will be fought over, thus rendering an adjournment before the national conventions meet still more improbable.
 Congress has sat through conven- tion period, and it promises to do so this year. Not much business can be transacted in convention time, but a recess during the critical fortnight is now deemed feasible.
 The device of the Senate in amend ing the metal reduction bill by levy ing an oppressive tax on imports of paper and by repeating the reciprocity act has added to the obstacles in the way. Each of the four tariff reduc- tion bills is, it is said, to be amended in some preposterous manner, thus in suring their rejection by the House, and thus preventing the sending of them to the President. In this way a presidential veto would be avoided, and the republicans would go into the campaign with no additional tariff vctoes to sustain. But the device is too transparent to deceive any voter, and it will be pitilessly analysed on the stump before November.
 The amendments of the metal bill are insincere. They have no relation to the schedule in hand. The pro- posed paper duty would add to the profits of the paper trust, and re- peal of the reciprocity act would be unwise, for Canada will almost sure
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05

From the Montgomery Advertiser. | In quite vigorous language Governor ONeal takes to task the proposal of pertain tax payers of Jefferson county to contest the docketing by the board of revenue of the raise in assessments made by the state tax commission. With the legal phase of 1t. or rather the fea- ture which Governor ONeal crticises, we know nothing, and therefore, say nothing. It Is, however, our delib- crate judgment that mot big interests" nor "big business" alone are involved in this movement.
 | For a community or county whose tax values have been raised annual ly by the millions to be appalled, when in one lump they are notified of $40,00O,- 900 of increase and In another of $25,- 900, 900, all in one year. is not at all un- natural The latest published auditors report is for the year ending, Septem- Der 30 1910. and that shows total real and personal valuation for Jefferson county for that year to be s10S,000, 900. It was SIS, 900 for 1911. The near est approach to this Is Mobile, S4O.0OO, 900, and Montgomery $31,ooo,oo0.
  together what they ought to be is question for consideration, but an in- crease by the action of state board at one fell swoop of $65,000, 900 is enough to arouse a spirit of contention and no reasonable person need be surprised that those who are thus treated are go- ing to fight the matter in the courts. A few counties bear the brunt of the burdens of government of this state. Less than a dozen receive less from | the state treasury than they pay in, and those which are paying in the overplus are naturally dlsinclined to be made any greater burden bearers for others than they can help.
 | The onus of valuation should be placed upon the property owner and he should be subjected to the pains and penalties inflicted for perjury when he makes a false statement. Tax asses sors as rule are candidates for re- election and 1t Is human nature to seek | to conciliate those whose votes they seek. When there is more equal rate of valuation there will be no further com plaint, but when land in one county pays on valuation of s2 and $3 per acre, and land no better in another pays on a valuation of SS and s20 per acre, fair minded people are bound to conclude that all of the states atten-
 ton in matter of tax raises should not be confined to a few counties which
 are bearing more than their proportion
 of tax burdens.
 It is very easy thing to berate 'big
 interests" and "big business but if
 they did not exist in Alabama our great
 boast of being the most advancing state in the union would soon have to be
 changed to another tune. The demo- cratic platform of 1910 contained a l plank inviting the investment of out side capital, and the Alabama legisla-
 ture in January, 1911, passed joint reso- ilutions pledging fair and just treat ment to all interests that might have
 habitat in this state, but many more
 acts like those of the tax commission
 in Jefferson will begin to raise a doubi as to the correctness of those solemn
 pledges enacted by the legislators and
 approved by the governor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05

to sing the Song O Steam was the pray CT of the dour old Scotch engineer Of Rudyard Kipling's "AfcAndrews Hymn" Fervently and reverently the prayer may be echoed today. We believe that in thou sands of minds and hearts there is beat ing the hope. perhaps uniformed, that the genius which framed that prayer may see fit to chronicle in verse, for his own and future generations. the awful story and warning of the night of April 14-15.
 But. after all. would 1t be the Kipling of 'The Recessional?" Years ago we won the hostility of number of English writers by suggesting that the Man from Nowhere seems to be fzzing out. Now they are beginning to suspect as much in England. Mir William Watson has been busy explaining through his London pub fisher that he has been misrepresenteG with regard to the suggestion that he has described MT. Kipling as not great writer But why the explanation?' asks MT. Clement Shorter. If MT. Wat son had actually committed this assumed crime he would really have showed. him. self quite a capable critic, whereas most poets who write about literature write exceedingly bad criticism. Mir. Kipling is not a great writer. He did produce in his younger years series of short stories of remarkable power, giving us Q vision of India seen through the imagination of a true poet, and these were great writ ings."
 Many of these short stories, argues MT. Shorter-'The Man Who Would Be King" and others-will live among the many re- markable literary products of the later nineteenth century, but there came pe- riod in MT Kipling's life when inspiration was entirely lost. Perhaps it was after an illness that occurred in New York some years ago. Certain it is that at a given moment Mir. Kipling's work ceased to be literature and became merely journalism, his verses cheap rhetoric, his prose losing lucidity and inspiration. The British pub lie is a piteously faithful creature. Even the writer of one good book finds himself the possessor of a handsome income for the rest of his life whatever trash he may produce in succeeding volumes and for however long the number of years.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05
THE ROAD

From Punch. Now where are ye goin'." ses I, "wid
 the shawl An cotton umbrella an basket an all? Would ye not wait for McMullen's ma
 chine, Wild that iligant instep befttin' queen? Oh you wid the wind-soft gray eye
 wid a vile in it. You wid the lip wid the troublesome
 smile in 1t, Sure, the roads wet, ivery rain-mud-
 died mile in It." "Ah, the Saintsll be kapin' me petti-
 coats clean," But" ses I. would ye like 1t to meet
 Clancy's bull, Or the tinks poachin' rabbits above
 Slieve-na-coul An the ford at Kilmaddy is big wid
 the snows. An the whisht Little People that wear
 the green close. They'd run from the bog to the mals-
 in a catch O ye, The king O thems wishful O wed-
 din the match O ye, 'Twould be long. if they did, ere ye
 lifted the latch O ye-" What fairys to touch her that sings
 as she goes! "Ah. where are ye, going. ses l, "wid the shawl, An the gray eyes a-dramin' beneath 1t
 an all? The road by the mountains long one.
 depend Ye'u be done for. a1annah. ere reachin
 the end; YeIl be bate wid the wind on each
 back -breakin' bit on 1t, Wet wid the puddles and lamed wid
 the grit on It. Since lonesome ye're layin' yer deli-
 cut fit on it. "sure whin's a road lonesome that's
 stepped wid a friend?-f
 That's stepped wid friend?
 Who did Bridy intend? Still twas me that went wid her right
 on to the end!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05
Roosevelt Then nnd Now

Mrs. Storer's sketch of Theodore Roosevelt. which appeared in the last Harpers Weekly. throws good deal President" said an admirer of the Col onel. No one knew Roosevelt better than the Bellamy Storers did in the 90's. They were extremely fond of him. and he professed great friendship for them.
 Mrs Storer, as well as her husband, was very much of politician. She was tactful and strongly intellectual. Roosevelt is one of those men who has risen by degrees to the occasion.
 T saw something of him when he was United States Civil Service commissions CT. The late John R. Proctor was presi- dent of the commission. He was ap- pointed by Cleveland as a democrat There was another democratic member, but I forget his name Roosevelt was the one republican. the law requiring one of the three to belong to different party from the other two.
 According to accounts. Roosevelt as a Civil Service commissioner was given tc stirring up things, and making trou- ble. He was noted among his friends foI his vehemence in speech. but to the gcn- eral public he was not known at all He got some notoriety as police com missioner of New York. He used to gc through the streets at all hours of the night whistlng up patrolmen to see il they were awake and attending to theil dties.
 "As assistant secretary of the Navy Roosevelt attracted no attention, but tho spanish and American war gave him { larger opportunity than he had ever hat before It brought him out. He ha. been live wire ever since, and vii be live wire until the end of his days While he may appear to some to be dan gerous and even crazy. he made goot ] president, and will make even a better president should he be elected to succeed President Taft.
 "As a trust buster Roosevelt would b, so hand and glove with the big trusts that there would be no busting. l fint that a great many prominent and sue cessful business men who think tha with Roosevelt's return to power, al lines of business will start up with ; great whoop."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05
Two Delegates for Colonel Roosevelt

Two Delegates for Colonel Roosevelt
 While large majority of the post master delegates from this state pro- claim their loyalty to Mir. Taft, two of the number, both officeholders, say theDrwill support Roosevelt despite the instructions they received from their district, the Third congression- al district. One of the two says 90 per cent of the republicans in the Third district are now enthusiastic supporters of Roosevelt, and as the Third district convention was held be- fore Colonel Roosevelt announced his candidacy, this bolter considers it his duty to represent his constituency by supporting Roosevelt. His colleague agrees with him, and the two repre- sentatives from the Henry D. Clayton district will therefore support the sage of Oyster Bay.
 National Committeeman Barker en- deavored to bring Messrs. Trammell and Daughtry of the Third district back into the Taft fold, but he was unsuccessful. The incident is im- portant only as showing that the ten dency at present is to seek the Roose- welt band wagon, and that the steam roller and national committeeman and all other bosses cannot hold al the postmasters all the time to an as- pirant who cannot be reelected.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05
RULING STE

From the Cincinnati Times-Star
 The gasoline bus was jolting horribly down Riverside Drive, the other morning. Two fur overcoateds men took up twice as much room as they were entitled to on one of the seats that run lengthwise of these awkward contrivances, inside One of them-a bold-beaked. rude-eyed, ruddy- -coored man-talked loudly.
 History will never repeat itself" he stated, as an oracle. "The common peo- pie will never rise against us. We are their superiors and their masters, and they know it. They will only fawn upon us'
 Another man entered the bus. He stood to give him a seat. The conductor pre- tended blindness. Finally the man in the aisle became impatient
 Move up, please" said he to the fur overcoated men. I think I can squeeze in next to you"
 There is no room,' said the loud talker.
 Nevertheless, move up.' said the man in the. aisle. angrily. Make room. You are taking up twice as much space as you have paid for"
 The tallxer tried to stare him down.
 'Do you know who am?" he beloved. am So-and- -So"-giving the name of a man who inherited fortune and a bad name He has largely dissipated the one and has not bettered the other The man in the aisle put his straw-colored mus tache right up close to the face of the man in the fur overcoar and whisnered sn that every one in the bus heard him. T believe you," said he i've always heard you described as bluff and a bully and a cad Now. I'm going to find out If you're coward, too. Move overi" The man in the fur overcoat moved ever, reluctantly. At the next corner he got out Still, the chances are that he still believes himself one of the ruling caste.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05
srRINDBERG,s MARRIED LIFE

From "Strindberg in America" By Clay
 ton Hamilton, in the June Bookman. At the age of 26 he fell in love with the woman who was to exert deeper influ- ence upon his work than any other factor in his life experience. She was already married; but she obtained a divorce and married Strindberg. For a time their welded life was happy; and the poet, in this single sunny period of his experience. poured forth an amazing number and va- riety of literary works conceived in the romantic mood. But little later his marriage began to be disrupted by dissen- sions; and the domestic life became in- creasingly unbearable, to both parties, as the years proceeded Held together by their children, they endured life of tor ture, until finally, after Is years they abandoned the hopeless struggle and were divorced.
 This tragic experience has colored all the later work of Strndberg. He had begun by conceving life as war; and he now discovered, in his own case, that love, which is the origin and essence of life, is also war-a yearlong, lifelong bat tie, without an interrupting truce. Hence he conceived love as only the obverse of two-sided passion. of which the inevi- table reverse is hatred Other poets have made the same discovery: compare, for instance, MT. Kiplings narrowing lines, 1T ate you. grnnin there. An, Gawd, love you so!'
 It is highly likely that the only gen timely happy marriages are those in which one party is so preponderously powerful as to make a complete conquest of the other. The trouble in the case of Strndberg's marriage seems to have been that both parties, individually, were so strong that the battle between them could be neither won nor lost. In strug- gling vainly to merge themselves in unity, they merely violated the sanctity of each others Individuality. To say the same thing in less pendantic terms, they got upon each others nerves.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-05
ITS FATAL DEFECT.

The glib tongued agent was trying to persuade MT. Wipedunks to buy dietion- ary.
 Its the latest thing out" he said; "up to date in every particular, contains more words than any other, has all the technical and scientific terms that have come into use in the last ten years, and there isn't feature missing that goes to make a first class work of the kind.''
 Let me look at it a minute,' said Mr. Nipedunks
 The agent handed it over, and he in- spected It briefly. Then he handed it back.
 Young man." he said, you can't work that book off on me-"
 Whats the matter with it?"
 Tt hain't got no copious index"-Chi- eago Tribune.