Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-06
6 8E: :!EE E&i$6E@N 2t7
~ By Rex <. Moulton. d

- L6OeIt nae 10 keep track OF
What time the 9:17 train leaves every
day and also the best places in the
town where visitors kin buy picture
post cards. Egbert says a well-known
actress spoke to him the other evening.
she said: Why in thunder didn't YOU
send that ice water up to my room.
you ~red-headed. little galoot. your
r.soert expects to git acquainted in
tne theatrical profession quite rapid.
the country selling wringers, is a great
way to learn things. He has already
learned that every family has go n
!; Iibbs. who plays the base drum in
the silver n band. has caught q
aretful cold which may ~develope into
~ grippe. I,he bunghole in the bass
drum is right under his face when he
nas the drum strapped on and every
linle ne hits her q smash with the
drumstick the wind shoots out'n the
vent n hits him like a tornado.
When he plays fast music 1t 10 Just
IKE standin' In a stiddy draft. He is
going to hook the drum on different
ar1er this. so the wind will hit the
ieller n Is marchin' ahead Of him.
constable Exry Hand is on a still
n and he will prob'ly find the still
II ther Is one around anywhere. Since
some culpret stole Uncle Extra Har-
kins' %srindstun he has been usin' q
IouHo sponge cake his niece ent him
from cookin' school instead.
Rem Binks. the station agent down
TO the ratlrud depot. says a Teller that
was gotn' through here last Tuesday
on the lightnin' express had his neck
stuck so far out'n the winder of the
smokin' a that he knocked the bay
winder on'n the depot and had Ave
mai sacks hanstn on his neck which
ne packed up down the rud.
The front uipAor 80 AS&o~ A~,1, H.su-
giles millinery emporium looks like a
reg'lar flower garden and Elmer Jones
hovers around there Just like q bee.
Hod Peters has bought the old Goldfish
that has hung in Tibbftts' grocery so
long to patch up a hole in the side Of
his barn.
Amariah Tillson, our gentlemanly and
congenial t~onsorial artist, IL a sure shot
on all sporting events including prize
fights. six-hand eucher. funk, lawn ten
mis- and rotation pool. The boys all
get his opinion n then bet the other
way. Alnariah Is also we'll versed in
politics, F~letcherism, theology. social
ism. mental telepathy. barr dancing,
affinities and all other leading topics
of the day and 1t has been often won-
dered why he Is wasting his time in
the barber business. His many friends
will be glad to know h Amarlah has
just renewed his subscription to that
great family weekly, the Police Ga
zette.
that works in u greenhouse all sum-
mer deserves my future punishment,
no matter what he does.
~
LANGUAGE.
l love to hear the brakeman yell in
his peculiar tongue,
SO loudly that 1t seems as IL he wants
to split q lung.
1 cannot understand him. but l like
to figure out
What he is trying to convey when
he comes to shout:
Observation-Disclosures changeherefor
alltratns east Observation-Disclosures
for refreshments"
It's entertainment rich for me to try
and understand
The language of the candy boy, who's
always Oh hand.
In theaters to sell his wares. 1t always
makes me smile
To hear him MARBLE joyfully as he
walks down the aisle:
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. sal
Observation-Disclosures a~ndsal--ted
Almonds"
The waitress in the hick hotel has
language all her own
There's anger in her voice and there's
defiance in her tone.
She pokes her back hair deftly and she
shifts her chewing-gum.
An then she rattleS off her speech n
and makes her language hum:
MISUNDERSTANDING. roast
neutrality-suspicious. short -ribswith
brownedpotatoes custardpie, teacoffse
ormilk."
THE KICKER.
He kicks about the weather and
He kicks about the shows.
He kicks about the service and
The food where'er he goes.
He, kicks about tho street cars and
He kicks about the -:
He kicks about the baseball games
When he goes on q pass.
He kicks about the president,
He kicks about the king.
He kicks about the house Of lords,
And almost everything.
He kicks about the summer and
He kicks about the heat,
He kicks about the winter and
The hail and snow and sleet.
He kicks about his neighbors and
He kicks about his wife.
He kicks when there is too much peace
And he kicks when there 10 strife.
When he gets to the promised land
It's going to make him sick.
Il won't be heaven there for him
Without q chance to kick.
CAUGHT ON THE FLY.
Maryland Judge says an intoxicated
man has no right to ride on q street
car. II this ruling holds. the Mary
land street cars will be patronixed al
most exclusively by women hence
forth.
A woman in Pennsylvania has
smoked one pipe for twenty-fiv years.
She ought IN have almost n0n1h to-