Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13
e &:4KE& B&257
- by Rgk k.Moulton. q

but while he was in bed the weasel
anne back and got the rest of the
chickens.
ELI Binks. our village tailor. says the
way OF the pants prcsser is hard.
Arson Frisby. our banker. who is
touring Europe; writes home tina, he
has bought a Rembrandt, but he does
not say whether IL is u ix-cylindrr,
scvcn-passcnger or a runabout. His
wife says she hopes IL is n of these
glass covered limousines.
Our idea of nothing to get excited
about is the revolution In Niggerau-
ger. Central America.
One good thing about bein' Il movin'
picter actor is that a fcller never has
to walk back home.
The Huttel Hoppertown is the best
hosiery i'm our villegc. 1t is also he
worst.
Hank Griesby is busy tryln' To invent
n white tomato catsup that will not
show cm the front of a dress shirt.
Charlie Rrown ia one of the men who
cannot do two things at once. He
went out on the lawn to sprinkle puff
ing his pipe the while. When he had
exhausted the supply OF tobacco. he
carefully knocked the ashes out and
then stuck the nozzle of the hose IN his
pocket. instead OF the pipe. II was
but a second later that he discovered
his error. but ii Mas too late. Naturally
the STORY leaked out. as did the water,
and Charlie may some day find his pic
t''re on the funny pages of the Sunday
supplements.
MEMS WANTS.
Man wants but little here below
An ;idage We have met
hut, Sti!l. we have not found it go,
For nearly all the men we know
Want all that they can get.
Man wants but little here below
Yet adds unto his store:
He loves to See his fortune grow:
1t doesn't matter how much dough
tie has ne longs for more.
NOWHERE.
Where can l find.
. tell me right.
A woman's skirt
That's not too tight Bunk.
Where can l find.
IN vain I've prayed.
n pumpkin pie
Like mother made"-H. r.
Where can find
O. prithcc tell,
\ baby who
Forgets to yell?-T. d. f..
Where can l find
The wives who sit
And do not gossip
Jus u bit n-Old Timer.
Where Il l find
A tax bloke
Whom l Il hire
And not go brokc?-Hank.
Where can l find
\ college lad
Who docs not know
More Than his dad"--J. w.
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNicR.
There ain't no Teller who kin be more
polite than n who has been talkin'
you behind your back.
l never yet see II practical joker who
could TAX one gracefully himself.
Grandma Bibbins is beginning to knit
yarn mittens and wristlets. which is "A
sure indication OF Il long. hard winter.
There ain't nohudy in this world who
Is Wiser than tue postmaster in a small
W unless 1t is the telegraph oper-
a:cr.
There aim; no vacation that lasts as
long rs it ortor.
Every %feller's kid is the greatest kid
tE.t Was ever born. and if you don't
aesisve it. ask him.
J NAS w 81 " VI LLlSlt ltllItRS ABOUT
married lite taat are unexpected. Cen
rally thy are children.
y man who makes his wife believe
on. Ne out OF 10 has a high batting
average.
\ ma will laugh at a woman for
for SIS cents worth of foo and buy u
secgar for Il quarter hat contains
about { cents worth of tobacco.
Always put off until tomorrow the
feilcr who wants to do O today.
Almost any pianncr player kin
make good in vaudeville ii the house
orchcstcr is up to III standard and
plays all the difficult parts.
v see an idealist or Il love-me-
the wcrld-iS-mine poet who was
very fond OF pigs knuclles and III
kraut.
Miss. Pansy Tibbits has a class in
annesthetic dancing this winter.
Two things are necessary II a fell
Ter wants to die rich. One is to make
a lot of money and the other is to
hang onto it.
Lem Hicks and his wife haven't
spoken a cross word in 10 years. They
are both deaf and dumb.
lot of purity women git to favoring
any candidate it amt going to hurt
his chances such an awful lot.
When YOU hear any Teller say that
he never had the slightest desire to
raise chickens you kin make up your
mind-hut what's the USE? There amt
any such Teller.
1t Is surprising tn know how many
Of then genuine Russian court dam
GERS was never outside of this coun-
try.
Anybody who sympathixes with the
Turks In their war and wants to sac
rifice his life to help 'em kin do 80
by smoking Turkish cigarettes.
Rud Hicks OF u town has been ac-
cuxed Of every crime In the calendar.
but there must be some good In him,
for he has eve been caught wearin' .
red necktie.
The old sojer who y braxs il