The Delta independent., 1912-05-31
ANY relation to the Dukef"

"Nagh!"
He no longer interested Mr.. Wedge
wood. But Mr.. Wellington was not
aware that he was being snubbed. He
went right on getting acquainted:
Are you married, Mr.-Mr.-f
moi"
my heartfelt congratulations
Hang on to your luck, my boy. Don't
let any female take it away from you"
He slapped the EngIishman on the
elbow amiably, and his prisoner was
too stified with wrath to emit more
than one feeble "Pawtah!"
Mr.. Wellington unused on aloud:
"Oh, If l had only remained single.
But she was SO beautiful and she
swore to love, honor and obey. Mrs.
Wellington is queen among women,
mind you. and l have nothing to say
against her except that she has the
temper of tarantula." He italicized
the word with light flip Of his left
! hand along the back Of the seat. He
/ did not notice that he filliped the
angry head of Mr.. Ia Lathrop in the
next seat. He went on with his por-
trait of his wife. she has the
i Extravaganza of sultana"-another
flip for Mr.. Lathrop-"the zhealousy
of a cobra, the flirtatiousness of
humming bird" Mr.. Lathrop was glar-
ing round like man-eating tiger, but
Wellington talked on. She drinks,
swears and smokes cigars, otherwise
she's fine-a queen among women"
Neither this amazing vision of wom-
ankind, nor this beautiful example OF
longing for confession and sympathy
awakened response in the English
mans frozen bosom. His only action
was another violent effort to disengage
his cramped knees from the knees OF
his tormentor; his only comment
vain and weakening. cry for help.
"Pawtah! Pawtah!"
Wellington's bleary, teary eyes were
lighted with triumph. Finally l saw
| couldn't stand it any longer SO I
bought a tic-hic-et to Reno. l stab
lish residensh in six monfths-get a
divorce-no shcandal. Even m'own
wife won't know anything about it."
The Englishman was almost attract
ed by this astounding picture of the
divorce laws in America. 1t sounded
sa barbarically quaint that he leaned
forward 10 hear more, but Mr.. yelling
toms hand, like a mischievous rum
away, had wandered back into the
shaggy locks atop of Mr.. Lathrop. His
right hand did not let his left know
what it was doing, but proceeded quite
independently to grip as much OF
Lathrop's hair as 1t would hold.
Then as Mr.. Wellington shook with
Joy at the prospect of Dear old
ha soil
draw Ira Lathrop's head after his hair
across the seat. The pain of 1t shot
the tears into Lathrop's eyes, and as
he writhed and twisted he was too
full of profanity to get any one word
out
When he managed to wrench his
skull free, he was ready to murder his
tormentor. But as soon as he con-
fron:ed the doddering and blinking
topper, he was helpless. Drunken men
have always been treated with great
tender ness in America, and when Wei
lington, seeing Lathroy's white hair,
exclaimed with RAPTURE why. hello,
Pop. here's Pop!" the most that Lath-
rop could do was to tear loose those
fat cropping hands, slap them like
school teacher, and push the man
away.
But that one shove upset Mr.. We'll
lington and sent him topping down
upon the pit Of the Englishman's stom-
ach.
For Wedgewood, 1t was suddenly as
II all the air had been removed from
the world. He gulped like a fish
drowning for lack Of water. He was
long while getting breath enough for
| words, but his first words were wild
demands that Mr.. Wellington remove
himself forthwith.
Wellington accepted the Punishment
with the sorrowful eyes OF dying
deer. and tottered away wagging his
fat head and wailing:
I'm a broken-hearted man, and no
body gives "a" At this point he ca
romed over into Ira Lathrop's berth
and was welcomed with a savage roar:
What the DEVILS the matter with
your"
I'm a broken-hearted man, that's
ALL"
"Oh, is that ALL" Lathrop snapped.
vanishing behind his newspaper. The
desperately melancholy seeker for
word of human kindness bleared at
the blurred newspaper wall while,
then waded into a new attempt at &C.
quaintance. Laying his hand on Lath'
/ rop's knee, he stammered: "Ess'
cuzhe me, Mr-Mr-"
From behind the newspaper came a
stingy answer: "Lathrop's my name
If you want to know"
PLEASED to meet you, Mr.. Lothrop."
"Lathrop!"
"Lathrop! My names Wellington.
LII Jimmie Wellington. Ever hear OF