The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1912-10-03
A Honely
Courtship
Bv SUSAN YOUNG PORTER

used as passenger boats. Then. under
competition with the railroads, they
sank into freightng only, and now they
have almost entirely passed away.
In those freighting days man named
Shock drove mule on the towpath
which pulled a boat. Shock was as
homely as his name He had never
had a sweetheart, and there was little
hope of his ever having one, for when
ever a woman looked at him she was
There was, some three or four hun
dred yards from the canal. at about
the center of Shocks route. tumble
down house in a small lot, in one corn
er of which was a pigsty. One day.
when Shock was trudging along be-
hind his mule, he saw at an open win
dow in the dilapidated trap female
figure. She was too far off for him to
see what she looked like. but she wav-
ed something white, which Enoch took
to be a tablecloth. Whether she was
trying to f1irt with him or was shaking
the crumbs out of the cloth he could
not be sure. Taking a bandanna from
his pocket he returned the wave.
Now, Enoch was cogniZant Of the
fact that he was not beautiful His
hair was a fiery red. his nose was a
pug the color of his hair. his teeth
were mostly gone. Had it not been
for this he might have made bold on
his return trip to give his mule rest
and gone to the house awooing AS it
was, and since this was the only
chance he had ever met. he was wary
He thought it better to make some
Roadway In lovemaking before risking
showing the lady his homely person at
close proximity. So, instead of stop
ping when he passed again. having
provided himself with a boys blow
gun, he fred a wad Of paper at her,
which being unrolled revealed the fol-
lowing note:
seen you at yure winder yistaday and
wood like very much to max yure &C
Quaintenc.
The lady was watching for the boat
on it's return trip, and when Enoch
fired his note at her she saw it fall
near her house and. going out. picked
it up and read it. But by this time
Enoch had gone on his way.
When Enoch passed the house again
he saw large letters chalked against
the house. which, though it had been
originally white. not having been paint
ed In twenty years. was now a dull
brown. The letters were plainly visi-
BILE from the canal, and Enoch read:
I can't see what you look like from
yere but you may be decent lookin fell
lor and If you air you kin come and see
ME.
This reply was rather a setback to
one who knew full we'll that he was
homely as a hedgehog. The communi-
cation was brief. and it contained ex
actly what Enoch would have preferred
that it should not contain The lady
evidently was looking for a handsome
man The message convinced him
that he was right in not permitting her
to see him close by before he had
stirred up some sentiment which might
I0dO uOT tO ONCIlOOh Ill q lhCctouiC
LONELINESS.
Enoch's next love letter was written
in lampblack on several boards nailed
together and set up on the deck of his
canalboat facing the house of his in
amorata. 1t read:
IL you air a purity woman wood be hap
py to stop over Hain't got no use fer
ugly wimmen.
When Enoch passed the house the
next time the blinds were all closed
and no living thing was to be seen ex-
cept a few chickens scratching the dirt
in the yard Enoch was disappointed.
1t was plain to him that this was in
tended for a snub On his next trip
he wrote on his boards. whats up?"
To which was chalked the reply.
"Nothin'."
Enoch reasoned that his lady love
had been miffed at his previous COM
munication, thinking that he had &C
cused her of being homely, but, hav-
ing thought the matter over. she had
seen his note in another light He
began to think that faint heart never
won fair lady" and he might as we'll
face the music one time as another
So he wiped the lampblack off his
boards and wrote again:
lie stop over mex trip.
When he passed again he was ar
rayed in store suit that had cost him
81. His hair had been creased with
slice of fat, and his boots had been
BACKED. Stopping his ,mule-and the
boat when 1t had lost it's momentum
he proceeded to the house of his lady
love. She had been watching him
from a window and opened the door
for him.
laws a marsy!" was her exclama.
ton.
"By gumv' was Enoch's
The woman had lost most of the hair
on her head. which seemed to have
gone to her face. Her nose had de-
veloped abnormally under the effect of
some skin disease She was sla bsided
and angular
She slammed the door in Enochs
face, who turned and. with a melan-