Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1912-06-29

but long about Quittn time he'd BED"
downhearted and glum. and I'd say:
What's the matter, Billy You've had
tho captain upset all day, you ought
TO be happy--hear him hckin' now
Yes says Bill. but he's gettin' abou.
$40 a minute for kickin''
''If we ever had long stuck-up lob
Bin got SO cantankerous there waI
hardly any llvin' with him. One after
noon the captain was gone and wd
was workin' along as peaceful, and1
suddenly Bill stopped his work and
! fairly roared at me: What does had
know about trouble? He never had
any
- 81 didn't know what he was thinking
about in particular, but 1t wouldnT
have made any difference II hadN
COS Bill had on sort of a blanket
grouch--it covered everything. SO d
says to him: You don't know what
you're tall1sh' about. / heard the cap
tain tellin' man this morning what
an awful time he had playin' golf yes
terday. He said he got in n highly
critical place--them are his Words
and he couldn't tell for the life of him N
what golf stick to use. He could re.
member just exactly how the play
ought to be made, but he couldn't re
member what to do it with. First he
thought twas the driver-then he A
thought 'twasn't. It kind of seemed
like twas the brassie, and then al. x
lowed twas the mid-iron; then he felt
positive twas the putter. I didn't hap
pen to hear what the right one was,
but judgin' from some of the Language
heard him use after he specified. he
didn't get It.
"'Now, BILL says. that's trouble
and it's just as bad trouble as you
have when you can't tell what tool to
use. and after you've tried everything
from a rabbit plane to q gouge, find
out you've foozled the door jamb n
Them woes are alike says. and you
ought to be more considerable But
Bill was little short on good com.
mon sense at times.
There was something about Bill
you couldn't help likin', but If anybody
else d had his notions would o. been
all put out with them. OF course II
didn't like 'em in Bill, but somehow I
always felt he wasn't so bad-just |
young and little misguided.
"Once he come in where / was, Just
as forlorn. 1 didn't stop work-I just
said Well?
"FWhat chance have / got with
them college fellows?' he demanded
"'Oh, shucks.' says I, because he did
try my patience lot at times. If you
want somebody else's chance, pick on
a chap your own size.'
cit seems he drove nail more than
he'd intended to; he'd made up his
mind to do JUS so much that day, and
he got to thinkin' about his wrongs
and forgot and went right on workin'.
He said IL you went to college they
taught you to concentrate, and If he
could have concentrated on not dom
the work as he'd figured, it would O.
been all right.
''Well, was sick for a spell and
Bill kind of drifted away from me.
He fell in love with a girl who was
pretty ambitious and she liked him,
too, but she saw his faults. He was
ratin' around one day about capital
and plutocrats and tellin' what ought
to happen to them. and / tell you
Sodom and Gomorrah got it light COM
pared to what Bill was goin' to hand
out Hit 1t easy, BILL she says, as
smart a man as you ought to be a
plutocrat himself some day; maybe
you're only plannin' suicide
'That made Bill awful mad, but
guess on due deliberation he seen
things little different. He never let
on, though, for long time She went
out west and got the second, prize in
a land drawin'. He tried to hate her
because she wasn't poor and down
trodden any more, but she just laugh
ed at him.
''They got married and went out to
ed to do Bill lot of good, and things
kept comm their way right along
He made lot of money on sheep. and
guess by this time he's rich. The
last heard about him he was goin' at
pretty rapid clip and loolSin' over
airship catalogues.
Calf Simmons stopped to see him
when he was out west. He says Bill
sent me special invitation to come
an visit him. ALT says 1 ought to go;
says he's just as sociable as can be
and amt changed bit toward the old
crowd. He says, though, that Bill has
acquired a ravenous appetite for lot
Of things he used to think was poison.
His last fad was fancy hens. and
ALI said when he was a-goin' through
the henhouse he saw dull mahogany
frame with a dozen solid pearl push
buttons in it; that every time hen
lays an egg she has to press button
SO Bill1l be advised right up to date.
CALF told me how nice he was Twin;
told me-all about his house, mahogany
trimmin's all through. and everything
nice. or course I know he was just
havin' a little fun with me about them
hens, but would like to know II Bill
really got Tiff'ny windows in his
garage"
Judge Hoar,s Retort.