davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09
Spring Sports No. 3---House Hunting Time

House hunting Is essentially an April sport.
There are pot-hunters who take houses out of sea-
son. but no true house-hunter would think of taxi
ing pot shot at a house in the off season when
it was unprepared for the ordeal
House-hunting In certain aspects. resembles
Devastating Like Devastating 1t requires great
endurance and patience. Like Devastating, also,
requires great cunning, perspicuity crcumspect-
lefty and gumption.
In season hous able to disguise their
true and normal characteristics with marvellous
cleverness house that in the closed season looks
clean as pin and as orderly a card index may
assume an almost unbelievable air of neglect and
deshabille in the open season.
Approaching such house you step into water
over your shoe tops and thus learn that the drain
on the corner is choked Working a little closer
you find yourself on the silver strand of a little
lake that efectua lily masks the front lawn Skirting
this body OF water and leaping deep moat that
guards the back step, you gain the house.
inside the building, if you be brave enough to
carry the AFFAIR that far, you meet shocking dis
order The floors are disfigured by the muddy
spoor or Kind of human parasite of the sub-spe-
eies transferensis the garnet is full of garbage;
the bath tub drain is busted the gas fixtures are
green with verdigris; the whole cellar is a great
numidor, with humidity six inches deep all over it's
floor wv
1t takes house-hunter of great acumen and
long experience to tell what kind of a house this
VIII be when domestcated and lace-curtained
There Is sub-variety of this sport known as
Ildt-nunt1ng, which has gained of LOTT
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

Somebody springs into fame-and you
Gee but he's lucky-renown in day!
Jumped into fortune right off the bat,
l wish could fall into something like that"
But you you don't know that somebody toied,
OF the that he planned and he sweated and moled
OF the fight that he made the bells he
Before he was famous and envied by
And when the true tale of his fortune you've
You'll find that it's EARNED.
The writer makes good" all at seems.
But what do know of the visions and dreams
That shattered and spoiled, of the gloom despair
That gripped at his heart of the the
OF the doubt and the worries, sneers
By which he greeted for years upon years?
"A sudden success?"-no, a tide that has turned
The triumph EARNED
The actor who flashes to fame Sin a night
Say what do you know of his stubborn, hard fight?
The lawyer who jumps into note with case
Say, what do know of his PREVIOUS race?
You'll find If look, that they've the
Where there isn't much money and mighty thanks
they've fought they've schemed climb
And when Success they're ready-on time!
The fire there-through years burned
And the fame" has been EARNED!
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09
THIS JUDGMENT SPICED
WITH THE FLAVOR OF
THYME AND GARLIC

Porterhouse steaks la habeas
corpus, oysters subjected to writs
of certiorari and chops manda-
unused on the gridiron with a
sauce of simon pure romance.
This legal favored menu fig
ured conspicuously in the tangle
constituting the recent suit of
Atty. f. t. Murray against Mrs.
Georgia D. Mclaughlin, a wealthy
widow of Alameda, Cal, for $500
counsel fees.
McMurray claimed he was rem
dering-rendering means taking
the fat out of-legal fees while
Mrs. Mclaughlin, surprised and
vexed, said it was good fellow
ship.
why" she said, che even
climbed into my kitchen apron and
cooked meals!"
Her story smacked of the odor
of good cooking while the dust
of ponderous legal lore settled
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09
The Way of the Coward

Which would you rather-le with your wife o your
vote? That's
They register their
dans they've D o O
Which reminds Is a story
on-tamer stayed late night with the
he got home light burning he knew his faithful
tilous sitting him. He didn't
morning his wife sterny demanded:
why didn't come home last night, sir?"
afraid he l
and slept with the lions"
'Yes-you coward" she Kissed.
Are the 1900 Phiadephians brave enough home
their votes?
THOSE SOUTH-ENDERS think good n
other and the city $4,000 paving
to South Tacoma, why not let II the whole thing?
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

This is a somewhat milder sport than house-hunt-
ing proper, inasmuch flats not nearly as wild
as houses and never inhabit such remote and mac
cessble places those in which the most gamey
houses are to be found
Your true house-hunter despises the flat-hunt-
He look upon the latter much the polo
player looks upon the croquet enthusiast. He may
not say it, but he thinks that for a to sink to
the tame pursuit of flats when the suburban woods
are full of coy and elusive houses, fully armed with
furnaces, is indicative of condition of enema as
regards sporting blood
House-hunting, like morphine and other habit
forming narcotics, gets hammer-lock on a mans
soul if he keeps it up for two three seasons
hand-running
After that he is hopelessly confirmed house
hunter
There Is no law against doubles, but it Is not
customary for a house-hunter to bag more than one
house
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09
The College of Today

johnson written a novel, "Sover Yale" which
10 fought
Pncetonreal that
that what get there sis education but social
experience"
clubs cliques;
the mngling without their
wealth. the
satisfy their craving growth He thinks the unver
should salvation Of America
The truth is that the democracy is working
where college Society
throes a BIRTH
THE LATEST JOKE Judge lecturing
citizens against Now we'll probably another
Hanford decision illustrate subject
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09
PLEASE STOP!

We wish all the paragraphers
and comic artists would stop maa-
Ing jokes about the little boy who
steals jam from mammals closet.
We never yet have seen kid who
pilfered the preserves and got his
face all smeared. Let the mother
in-law joke stay but throttle this
reproach on American boyhood.
sti
Lawyers will have to dress bet
ter when women juries become a
fact. 81
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

The first thing Hill did was to
evolve a system to run telephone
company on the cheapest possible
basis and give the best service.
Sam had never seen the inside of
a telephone office before, but or
ganization is his chief ability.
In early days in the northwest
when James J. Hill was fighting
Wall street to build the Northern
Pacific. Sam Hill, who is no rela-
ton to lin, was president of | ) of
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

gineers, has put
up to the man
ayers of all
railroads east of
Chicago a n d
north the the
Ohio river, the
demand for an
Is per cent In
crease in wages
A strike would
take out $4,000
engineers.
b 4
Jules Vedrf-
mes, France s
most popular
airman, drops
circulars down
from the air,
announcing his
candidacy for
membership in
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

deeply over his.
Judge Arnot decided that since
Mrs. Mclaughlin had eaten the
good things McMurray cooked she
had also absorbed his words of
legal wisdom, seasoned with spice,
thyme and garlic though they
were, so she was directed to pay
the attorney $3.50.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

in getting his
fleet past FIT.
Moultrie and
within cannon
shot of Charles
ton, S. c., the
surrender OF
which he de-
manded in the
name of the
king. Gen. Lin
coin, who had
2100 men TO de-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

Apples-s1.50@2.50.
Lemons-$4.25 @4.50.
Oranges-$1.15 @3,25.
California Grape Fruit-S3.25
a $50.
Aspafagus-6c.
Potatoes-$3S @42 per ton.
Sprouts-8c.
Lettuce-$1.25@2.25 crate.
Turnips-$1 sack.
Beef " Ollie.
Pork % Toe.
Onions--4he Id.
Cabbage-3 " a 4c.
Spinach-9oc@s1 bex
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09
Observations

LATEST invention is electricity VIII
is being tried out in France.
In Prague Bohemia pictures various
crimes exhibited in motion picture
SPINNERS of the cotton
than this
WHEN stomach aches hungry, you're
OVER In Hungary a theater
cit In front and tail Very
his little
OF COURSE JIM ASHTON do such a to
the Central
particular harbor scheme
LONG distance teephoning at
banquet In Chicago listened hours
dent Hadey at his home in New away
THEY'VE got bunch to the things
mi
great grand
fathers the dispositon to get busy in sprngtims.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09
DEDUCTION.

DEDUCTION.
Thestranger looked around the
house
And saw, poured into fathers
shoe
A fish-hook and a "sugar-lump
Some cough-drops and a wad OF
glue;
And mothers lovely Easter hat
Was tied upon a hobby-h horse,
The stranger gently smiled and
said,
"You have a little boy OF
course"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

Chicken-15 a Ice Lib.
Oysters-S7.50 per sacR.
Clams-$2 sack.
Crabs-$1.50@1.75 dog.
Butter.
Washington Creamery $50
35c.
Eggs.
Washington Raneh-21 a 22c.
WHOLESALE PRICES.
Feed.
Hay, $14019 ton: oats, $3S
ton; wheat, s33 @34; shorts, $26
ton: bran, $24 ton.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09
One Man Walloping Billion Dollar Trust"

WHO IN 'SAM-HIIIi Is
TRUST is ASKING AND QUAKER FIGHTER ANSWER
ING By HEATING TRUST WITH STEREOPTICON-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

fend Charleston, sent back word
that there would be nothing doing
in the surrender line.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09
Most
Anything

AakfaEAsAH HI Il fhSOn-
Jake Mckinney. Texas con-
Wet, won a pardon with a heart
touching poem published In the
prison paper. but now 1t appears
he stole the poem from an Ohio
convict who is still in the peniten-
tiary.
Mans wisdom through the CEN
Has wrought upon all mystery;
Has solved the stars and touched
the poles
And sounded all of history
Yet. when the spring comes to his
y door,
His scientific wealth untold
Lost in new wonder cannot say
: What makes the dandelion
gold?
Russia Is buying 1000 motor
trucks for use in the army.
Competition Is the life of
trade, baseball and poker.
How much happier fish would
be IL he could conquer his appe-
lite for worms this time of year.
His sweetheart smiled upon
his suit-'twas that he was ar
rayed for. His tailor did not smile
a bit because 1t wasn't paid for.
Or
His sweetheart smiled upon his
suit. You say she hadn't oughter?
She could not help the smile De-
cause the pants were so high
water.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09
The Markets

spuds today are about the selling SAP per
in price. - " -N.'e
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09
TODAY IN HISTORY

April 9, 1880, Admiral Arbuth-
not of the British navy succeeded
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09
About People

Warren s. Stone, chief of the
Brotherhood of Locomotive En-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

HOW WOULD 1T BE to celebrate Arbor day for
town get and cut the
door instead of planting
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09
Needs a Nurse

Atlee Pomerene democrat junior
not for Ohio says he voted for seating Grandpa Stephenson
buying gold brick or blow
Ing into the muzzle guns
a
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09
The Toilers

New York's richest 1916 number
100000 By 1855 there ~ mionaires whom William
B. Aston richest He worth"
4
My, how the multi-miionaires
and pnched
the richest of
mighty late and a pleasure!
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

How much happier fish would
be If he could conquer his appe-
lite for worms this time of year.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

LATEST invention is drain clouds electricity
is being tried out in France
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

In Prague, Bohemia, pictures persons wanted for
crimes are exhibited in motion picture shows.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

the chamber of deputies.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

THOUGHT whip-cracking heads
when
Railway Political club political
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

OVER In Hungary theater manager makes short
at In front rows and tail in back. How about
Long and his little wife?
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

WHEN your stomach aches because you're hungr
not We feel hunger only in the guIet says Italian
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

Competition Is the life of
trade, baseball and poker.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

LONG distance teephoning processes; $40 alum
banquet In Chicago listened speech by
emit Hadley at his home in New Haven, 1000 away
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

SPINNERS Of the world have taken 1, 1856. 900 bales
than to this date last something like pro
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

,ack the Central Improvement league meeting tonight to
particular harbor scheme endorsed.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-04-09

Russia Is buying 1000 motor
trucks for use in the army.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1912-09-12
AGRICULTURAL INTERESTS
The Farmer Produces Nation. All
artment

What's in name? Perhaps name
for the farm is only concession to
the sentiment; nevertheless, it is be.
coming a custom that characterizes
the owner as man of pride. Posi-
bly, his knowing that the farm is
named may stimulate him to better
work on the farm. No doubt the COM
munity looks upon the name as a
trademark for this particular farm
and the things for which it is noted.
1t may carry discredit as we'll as cred
it and truly it's reputation will be only
that which the farmer makes for it.
The name for the farm should not
be hastily chosen, and should mean
something. 1t may be made to meet
some fancy of the owner, but prefer
ably should have a relation to some
distinct feature of the farm or the
line of farming pursued. The entire
family should be consulted in the Sc
lection of the name, and it should as
far as possible be made to meet the
wishes of ALL
A well-chosen name is worthy of
, publications; and it is not only we'll to
use it on letter-heads and envelopes,
but it should adorn the gateway, in
order that all who chance to pass may
read. Believing that a Well-selected
name may furnish an incentive for
better farming, we suggest the follow.
ing list:
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1912-09-12

sldered, to amend the law TO conform
to long established custom than it
would be to undertake to enforce an
assessment at true and full value. A
bill was accordingly drawn providing
mong other things that, except as
may be otherwise provided by law all
property subject to a general proper
ty tax shall be valued at it's true and
full value in money, which shall be
entered opposite each item on the as
sessment rolls, and shall be assessed
at fifty per cent of such true and full
value. Such assessed value shall in
all cases be taken and considered to
be the value of such property for pur-
poses of taxation, and shall be the
value upon which the tax levy shall
be made"
The bill was introduced in the
house by the chairman of the commit
tee on taxes and tax laws, and after
the adoption of an amendment chang
ing the basis of assessment from fif-
ty per cent of true value to forty per
cent it passed that body and was
transmitted to the senate where, AZ
ter a brief debate, it was Indefinite
ly postponed
The failure of the bill to pass was
due not SO much to hostility to the
principle involved as it was to the in
ability of the members to agree upon
the percent of true value at which
the assessment should be made. A
plurality but not majority Of the
members favored the fifty per cent
basis provided in the bill as introduc-
ed. Some favored thirty per cent,
others forty, others forty-fve, and
others sixty; and in the house one
member offered an amendment provi-
ding that property containing iron ore
should be assessed at sixty per cent
| Of it's true value, city property at fifty
per cent and farm property at forty
per cent Out of this multiplicity of
views it seemed impossible to reach
common ground The bill landed at
the end of the session in the legisla.
tive ash heap where it slumbered I'm.
til the following session But the
Legislature recognizing the urgency
of the matter, and feeling that some
thing must be done to relieva the sit
! uation, just before it adjourned sins
die adopted a concurrent resolution
requesting the commission to adhere
TO existing methods until the legisla
ture met again.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1912-09-12

Airy Hill, Airy Knoll, Arrowdale,
Altamont, Avondale, Brookside,
'Beechwood, Breezy Point, Brookdale,
'Bannerland, Branching Brook, Glover
Crest, Cloverdale, Clearbrook, Cedar
croft, Deer Lodge, Daisy Meadow,
Dairy Downs, Edgewood, Elmendorf,
Echo Grove, Echo Glen, Excelsior,
Elmhurst, Eagle View, East View,
Eureka, Elmwood, Fairfield, Fairview,
Forest HILL Fountain Home, Fair
Oaks, Fanwood, Glendale, Grandview,
Grassland, Hawthorn, Hillhurst, Home
stead, Hazelnook, Haycroft, Jersey
land, Lakeside, Lakeview, Lakewood,
Lyndale, Lawnview, Maple Grove,
Morning Glory, Meadows, Northwood,
North Star, Oak Grove. Oakland, Oak
Park, Oaklawn, Overview, Usage,
Flainview, Pinehurst, Pine Ridge, Pop
lar Lane, lockwood, Riverdale, River
side, Saltwater Sunnyslope, South
Shore, Sunset, Sunrise, The Willows,
The Kpolls, Wildwood, Willowdale,
, Woodland, Woodside, Woodlawn,
Westwood, Willow Glen, Willow Lane
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1912-09-12
CHEAP ADVICE

Perhaps the most advised individu-
al for the last several years now, is
the farmer. According to this news
paper advice among many other mat
tiers he should keep lots of hogs, a
flock of sheep, have a big herd of
pure bred cattle, and a goodly number
Of milk cows He should farm inten-
siyely, raise corn, potatoes, alfalfa,
clover, timothy, etc.
The authorities who tender the far
lner all this good advice strange to
say, are not themselves farmers as a
rule, but Of course they don't have to
be, TO know the proper manner in
which to farm proftably, for like
newspaper work, anybody knows how
to run a farm.
For example here is farm out on
the open prairie, perhaps short on
the supply Of water and only we'll
at best; the owner is advised that if
he don't get a herd of short horns for
beef and another herd of Jerseys for
milk, that his farm will go to the
bow-wows inside of ten or fifteen
years because ne is otherwise rob,
bling the soil'' Well, that means for
that farmer, big stable buildings,
and lots of hired men as well
as considerable amount of money 10
beNinvested in stock. Oh yes, he will
need to take some of his wheat land
and make a pasture which will also
require fencing.
This only refers to a comparatively
few of the reasons why the farmer
Il not follow the oft-told tale of his dear
friends. Other things will only too
readily occur to the farmer himself
why he is not better farmer.
But the greatest fact concerning the
better farming idea is, not one farm
er in a Thousand farms as well as he
knows how himself. Which being the
case also makes the advice Of these
experts somewhat superfluOus. Why
the farmers does not farm as we'll as
he knows how may be somewhat Of a
mystery to these good friends, but the
only answer they can get is to look
at their own business and see if they
themselves conduct their own affairs
as we'll as they know how.
When it comes to a show down, we
think the average farmer conducts
his farming operations about as We'll
as the average business or profession
is conducted by its operator. There
are fewer failures in farming proper.
tionately than in most business or
profession is conducted by its opera
tor There are fewer failures in far
ming proportionately than in '"cst
business or professional operations
and it takes as much brains to be sue
cessful in farming as in any othel
business.-The Pioneer Express, Penn
bina, n. D.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1912-09-12
TAXATION IN MINNESOTA
TIE FOLLOWING IS ONE OF SERIES OF ARTICLES PUBLISHED
~ REQUEST OF THE MINNESOTA TAX COMMISSION
CRITICISM OR SUGGESTION IS CORDIALLY INVITED

Irorts OF the Legislature to Amend
the Assessment Laws so that They
Could be Strictly Enforc ed-Thirty-
third Article.
~ the last article we endeavored to
snow that if property was assessed
At It's true and full value in money as
provided provided by law, without first amend
E ing several inconsistent statutes. the
result would be great and needless
increase in taxes; an uncalled for in
crease in the salaries of several hun
ored county officials and their clerks,
and, in all probability, in a great in
crease in municipal Indebtedness.
Justice in taxation can only be at
tanned by a strict compliance with the
law This is proven by universal ex.
per- snce. There is no other way.
Wien rare exceptions, when an as.
SCISSOR violates the law and sets up a
standard of his own he either inficts
an injury upon some individual tax
payer or else he does injustice to
every other taxpayer in the state. AS
general rule every step he takes
outside the straight and narrow path
provided by law leads to greater and
more glaring inequalities, and in many
cases if he gets too far away his work
degenerates, as we have said before
into mere travesty on Justice
Because of the lack of harmony in
the laws which we have pointed out
taxpayers in Minnesota, to use an apt
expression, are placed squarely ''be
tween the devil and the deep sea-" If
the law was strictly enforced, every
one Of them would be mulcted with
needless taxes, and because it is not
so enforced injustice is annually in
f1icted upon a large majority of them
Realizing that just and equitable
assessment Of property in this state
was practically impossible unless anC
until these contradictory laws were
amended and harmonized, the ia,
commission in 1909 placed before the
legislature all Of the facts bearing up
on the matter and asked that the as
sessment laws be 50 amended thai
they could be strictly enforced with
out unnecessarily increasing taxes ani
without injustice to anybody. Severa
conferences were held with members
Of the committees on taxes and ia!
laws of the house and senate and the
whole matter thoroughly canvasset
and the conclusion finally reached
that it would be better, all things con
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1912-09-12

= = = . y =
s. OSLO s.
Z n
From the Tribune:
Miss Dora Anderson Of Alvarado.
was here Saturday for visit with
Mrs Ben Johnson.
Mrs. e. 0. Nordgren returned We'd
nesday morning from Warren where
she consulted a doctor.
Miss Betsy Gunderson left Thurs.
day evening for Baudatte to make a
visit to her claim near there.
yngvad Olsen left this week for st
James, Mimi, where he will attend
school the coming season
r. A. Hallquist, our genial veterin
arian, is enjoying a visit from his ia
Their, A. Hal]quist, Of Brainerd, this
week.
Miss Laura Nelson, who has beer
employed as table waiter at the Park
Hotel for some time left this week
for her home at Viking.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1912-09-12
Sheridan's Joke.

Gen. Sheridan was asked what was
the most amusing incident Of his ex-
periences as a soldier. He said:
An Irish soldier was riding a lazy
mule thru camp one day, with his feet
dangling out Of the stirrups, when the
mule kicked up a hind foot, and got
lit caught in the stirrup. Well says
Pat, if We air goin' to get UP here I'll
get down d b