The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-04-30
WAsalRGT an LETTER
INTERESTING STORIES GATHER:
ED ABOUT THE CORRIDORS OF.
ffFE, CHEAT ApMINtsTRA ALTON
BUILDINGS.

r .
BUILDINGS.
WASHINGTON, :. {, April 30
Or. Il. F. Kebler, assistant chief Of
the Bureau of Chemistry. has hand,
ed rude jolt to the bald'headed mem
hers Of the House Committee on In
terstate and Foreign Commerce. DR..
Kebler knows all about patent medl.
eiiies;e gel-well.quick devices and all
that sort OF thing, He.saSs % per
cent. OF them are frauds and is will.
ing tot mpart this fact to anyone who
asks him about the natter!
The committee has been delyIng
into a proposition to extend the pure
feed Law SO as to make more effective
regulations regarding fake" proprIe.
tary medicines. Dr. Keller was called
before the committee to give his
ideas on the subject, In the course
OF the discussion, the subject of hair
restorers came up Representative
Hamilton OF Michigan, who belongs
to the near-bald.headed class immedi-
ately became interested and sought in
formation.
Doctor" said he, "in the interest Of
members OF this committee who are
a little short on hair, colud you tell
us II there is any such thing as a sue
cessful hair restorer?" 90
Il regret to say" solemnly replied
the doctor, Il don't believe tliefeiis
any such thing. At least, in all my
experience have never run across
one"
Whereupon the few members Of the
committee who are adorned with a
sufficient supply Of flowing locks had
a good laugh at the expense seatheir
shiny.pated colleagues.
Gunpowder for Fertilizer.
Many hundreds Of years ago the ad.
vocates of peace advised that swords
be turned into pruning forks but it has
remained for Uncle Sans ordnance
department to hit upon the plan Of
using gunpowder for fertilizer. d
During the war with Spain large
quantities OF brown gunpowder were
purchased. The explosives is now Of
ITO value for military purposes and for
several years the ordnance depart.
'nfent has been trying to find some
method Of getting back part OF the
money expended in this purchase.
Small quantities OF powder will be
submerged until 1t is soft enough to
spread over fields and experiments
viii be conducted 10 see If II really
aids in the growth Of crops. II 1t is
4 success, Uncle Sam will dispose Of
the gunpowder to farmers at a bar.
gain price: 1t If tails, the powder will
be taken out TO sea and dumped over
board
Great quantities Of black powder,
nurc6ased5ju 1898 haye;been used for
firing 81 titles and as ignition charges.
lut ;i6s.:SfoNn powderfs dead stock,
eSbests say, unless tfitroyes a sdc'
cess as "a fertilizer. ~
Brains from the Eyes Up.
Eeps Lewis OF Maryland, a former
coal miner, who is serving his first
term, is by long odds the smallest
man in Congress. Whenever he adj
dresses the House, It is necessary for
,hfmtto, advance in front of the Speak,
ers platform in order that his fellow
representatives may sec him! A few
DAYS ago he was asked to address a.
committee on the subject OF govern
ment ownership OF express lines, his,
chief hobby. Nearly all Of the mem,
bers Of the committee were sixitoott-
ers and when the diminutive Mary.
lander took his station at the foot OF
the table, the chairman said with a
sly wink at his associates:
Il suggest. that the gentleman from
Maryland, sit down during his speech,
instead Of standing as is customary
Lewis was quick to see the point
Like a flash he replied;
well; Mr.. Chairman, down in South
Carolina. where You came from, | un'
derstand the men have brains from
their chius down, but In Maryland, We
MI have orr brains from our eyes up"