davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
LAUGHTER.
How II Has Been Defined and Some
Folks Who Never Tried II.

SN's'~
Folks Who Never Tried It.
What is laughter? An American hu-
.norist has called 1t IAN undigniiied
widening of the human mouth, accom-
panied by noise resembling cough
In the effort to avoid swallowing a
chestnut
Laughter" says Professor Sir
Charles Bell. sis convulsive action of
the diaphragm. In this state the per-
son draws a fun breath and throws it
out in interrupted short and audible
cachinnations. This convuIsion of the
diaphragm is the principal part of the
physical manifestation of laughter
But there are several accessories,
especially the sharp vocal utterance
arising from the violent tension of the
lalynx and the expression of the fea
lures, this being more intense form
of the smile. In extreme cases the
eyes are moistened by the effusion
from the iachrymal glands"
There are some people who cannot
laugh, who are wholly unable to enjoy
either the physical or the mental lux
ury of laugh. Thus it was said of
William III. that he was utterly at a
loss to understand what could be got
out of laughter except loss Of dignity.
There are many persons in history
who have been, according to common
report, incapable of laughter. Queen
Mary l., John Knox. Robespierre and
Maltke are examples. The Iron Duke
himself rarely, if ever, went beyond
grunt.-Strand Magazine.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
Notice for Publication.
ISOLATED TRACT.
Public Land sale.

IMPAIRMENT OF THE INTER
A1ior, U. S. Land Office at The
Dalles, Oregon November 18th, 1911,
Notice is hereby given that, as direct
ed by the Commissioner OF the Gener-
al Land Office, under psovisions of
Act OF Congress approved June y, 1906
ga Stats, 5l7l, we will offer at pub
lie sale, to the highest bidder, at 9:45
O'Clock a. m, on the 10th day of Jan
uary 1912. at this office, the follow
ing described land: S15SWA. Sec, "a
T. |, N. r. 26 East w. NJ, No. 0905S
Any persons claiming adversely the
above-described land are advised to
file their claims, or objections, on or
before the time designated for sale.
d7-i4 G. w. Moore.
Register.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
Famous eretna Green.

Gretna Green, Scotland. became IA
nous for its celebration of irregular
marriages. For many years the aver
age number was 800. The ceremony
consisted only of an admission. before
witness. by the couple that they were
husband and wife, this being sufficient
to constitute a valid marriage. After
this the officiating functionary for
many years a blacksmith). together
with two witnesses, signed the mar
riage certificate.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
Citation.
IN THE COUNTY COURT OF THE
l. State of Oregon for the County of

IN THE COUNTY COURT OF THE
l. State of Oregon for the County of
Morrow.
In the Matter of the Estate of Gym
thia A. Benge, deceased.
To r. L. Benge, f. H. Benge, Mat
tie Henderson, Ruth o. Barnett, Rosa
Eskelson, William Mack, Elsie King,
Myra Mack, Wilbur Mack, Frank
Benge, Gladys Benge, and Fred
Benge, Greeting:
In the Name of the State of Oregon:
You are hereby cited and required
to appear in the County Court of the
State of Oregon for the County of
Morrow on Monday, the 5th day of
February, 1912, at 10 O'Clock in the
forenoon OF that day, then and there
to show cause, if any, why an order
should not be granted to the admin
istratOr of the estate of Cynthia A.
Benge. deceased, to sell so much OF
the following described real estate of
said deceased as shall he necessary,
tO-wit: Lot /, Block II, and that
part of Lot 10, Block II, of the Town
of Lexington, Morrow County, Ore
gon, lying between the alley running
said Block II and the center
OF the Channel of Willow Greek.
WITNESS the Hon. G. G. Patterson,
Judge of the County Court of
the State of Oregon, for the
County of Morrow with the
[sEALl Seal Of said Court affixed this
23rd day of December, A. d.
1911.
ATTEST: W. o. HILL, Clerk.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
THE OLD LIBERTY BELL.
History of This Relic of the RevoIu-
tionary Patriots.

History of This Relic of the RevoIu-
tionary Patriots.
Overvigorous ringing of the old Lib
erty bell many years ago on the occa-
sion of the celebration of the Declara-
tion of independence was what put
the crack in it and forever destroyed
its resonant tone 1t was cast by Pass
IS Stow in Philadelphia and hung in
the belfry of the now historic state
house in lower Chestnut street early in
June, 1853. 1t contains 2,0S0 pounds
of metal.
Near the top of the bell were cast
the words proclaim Liberty Through
out All the Land Unto All the Inhabit-
ants Thereof" Prophetic of its des-
tiny, this gave it the name Liberty
bell.
When the British army marched on
Philadelphia in 1777 the bell was TAX
en- down by patriots and carried off in
the night to Allentown in order that
it might not fall into the hands of the
enemy. In 1871 it was returned to the
tower Of the statehouse.
For more than half hundred years
thereafter the bell was rung and hon
ored on Independence day every year
before the crack appeared in it. An
effort was made to restore its tone by
saving the crack wider. but this prov
ed of no avail. The bell was finally
removed from the tower to a lower
story of the statehouse and used only
on extraordinary occasions. Subse-
quently it was rugged up on its origi-
nal timbers in the yestibule. In 1898
it was exhibited at the Columbian ex-
position in Chicago.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
shakespeare as an Actor.

Shakespeare once played the ghost
in bis own Hamlet" A younger
brother of the dramatist in describing
the event said that he wore "a long
beard and appeared so weak and
dropping and unable to walk that he
was forced to be supported and car
ried by another person to a table, at
which he was seated among some
company"
In LAS You Like IT. Avon's bard
assumed the role of Adam, the old
servant, in whom was represented
''the constant service of the antique
world" and who was mot for the
fashions Of these times"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
What the Kidneys Do.
Their Unceasing Work Keeps Us
Strong and Healthy.

All the blood in the body passes
through the kidneys once every
three minutes. The kidneys filter
the blood. They work night and
day. When healthy they remove
about 500 grains of impure matter
daily, when unhealthy some part
of this impure matter is left in
the blood. This brings on many
diseases and symptoms pain in
the back, headache, nervousness,
hot, dry skin, rheumatic pains,
gout gravel, disorders of the eye
sight and hearing, dizziness,
irregular heart, debility, drowsi-
ness, dropsy, deposites in the
urine, etc. But if you keep the
filters right you will have no
trouble with your kidneys.
E. L. Berry, Main ST., Heppner
Oregon, says: "You are welcome
to use my name as one who has
been cured of kidney complaint
by Doan's Kidney Pills. My kid
neys were weak and my back was
so painful that | was obliged to
walk all stopped over. The con-
tents of one box of Doan's Kidney
Pills effected a cure and during
the past two years there has been
no recurrence of the trouble. F."
For sale by all dealers. Price
so cents. Foster-Milburn Co.,
Buffalo, New York, sole agents
for the United States.
Remember the name-Doan's
and take no other.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
Notice For Publication.
ISOLATED TRACT.
Public Land sale.

IMPAIRMENT OF THE INTER
Oior, U. $. Land Office at The
Dalles, Oregon, December 13, 1911.
Notice is hereby given that, as dir
ected by the Commissioner Of the Cen
eral Land Office, under provisions of
Act of Congress approved June q,
1906 (34stats. SIT, we will offer at Pub
lie sale, to the highest bidder, at $50
O'Clock An. on the 10Th day OF Feb
ruary 1912 at this office, the follow
ing described land; NWKNWK. Sec. IL
L. S.R.26 East W.M., No.0943S.
Any persons claiming adversely the
above described land are advised to
file their claims, or objections, on or
before the time designated for sale.
ID. % &. W. Moore.
Register.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04

'What a strangely interesting face
your friend the poet has" gurgled the
maiden of forty. 1T seems to, possess
all the elements of happiness and sor-
row, each struggling for supremacy"
Yes. he looks to me like a man who
was married and didn't know it,
growed the cynical bachelor.-Phila-
delphia Record.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04

Boys may be had and some
times girls. The older ones at
ordinary wages and others to be
schooled and cared for in return
for slight services rendered. For
particulars address w. 7. Gard
ner, Supt. Boys and Girls Aid
Society of Oregon, Portland, Or.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
No Obstruction.

In the course Of a trial at Water
bury. Conn, the examiner was trying
to get the topography of the country
and the relative situation of objects.
The witness was asked. (which way
does the road run past your hOuse?"
The reply was. Both ways. your
honor, up and down."-Case and Com
Tnanf
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
Notice To Creditors.

Notice is hereby given that the
undersigned has been appointed ad-
ministratriX of the estate OF NJ. B.
Metzler deceased.
Persons having claims against said
estate are required to present same
to me duly verified at the Drug store
OF Patterson and Son at Heppner
Oregon, within six months from date
of this notice.
JULIA r. METZLER.
Administrators
Dated December 2S-l91l.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
Notice for Publication.
ISOLATED TRACT.
Public Land Sale.
IMPAIRMENT OF THE INTER

DEPARTMENT OF THE INTER
- ior, U, S Land Office at The
Dalles, Oregon, November 10, 1911
Notice ishereby given, that, as direc-
ted by the Commissioner of the Gen
eral Land Office, under provision OF
Act OF Congress approved June ~
1906 GA Stats, 5l7), we will offer at
publcisale, to the highest bidder, at
9:30 O'Clock a. m, on the 9th day of
January, 1912 at this office, thefollow-
ing-described land; Ne NEA. See. l
T. IS. r. 26 East w. NJ, No 0SS9S.
Any persons claiming adversely the
above described land are advised to
file their claims, or objections, on or
before the time designated for sale
G. w. MOORE, Register.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
NoticeOfFinal Accounting.

Notice is hereby given that the
undersigned, administrator de bonis
non of the Estate OF Charles Z. Miller
deceased has filed with the County
Court of Morrow Courty, Oregon his
final account as such administrator
and that the said Court has fixed
Monday the 9Th day OF February, 1912
at 10 O'Clock A. NJ. as the time and
the County Court Room in the Court
house in Heppner, Oregon as the
place for hearing said account and
the settlement OF said estate. Any
person having any objection to offer
to such account must present same
on or before the date aforesaid.
ANSON Z WRIGHT
Administrator de bOnis non OF the
Estate OF Charles E. Miller Deceas-
ed.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
What He Wanted

The doctor stood at the bedside and
looked gravely down at the invalid.
81 cannot hide from you the fact that
you are very ILL.," he said. is there
any one you would like to seer
YES" said the sufferer family.
"Who is itY
++Another doctor"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
Application for Grazing
Permits.

NOTICE is hereby given that all
L ' applications permits to Craze
cattle, horses and sheep within the
UMATILLA NATIONAL FOREST
during the season of 1912. must be
filed in my office at Heppner, Oregon,
on or before February 80, 1912 Full
information in regard to grazing fees
to be charged and blank forms to be
used in making applications will be
furnished upon request.
H. b. RANKIN,
All Supervisor.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
Touching Him.

Visitor-I saw your husband in the
crowd in town today. In fact. he was
so close that / could have touched
him. Hostess-That's strange. At
home he is so close that nobody can
touch himi
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
Acts Of Kindnsss.

II every one did an act Of daily
Kindness TO his neighbor and refused
20 do any uDkindness half the sorrow
9 -r'~ world would he lifted and dis
4 IL Mac!a.aa.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
Agreed,

'I'd give anything almost If had
Mrs. Toner'S savoir faire"
Il think 1t much more patriotic to
own an American mace car."-Bir-
mingham Age II erald-
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04

''The man who makes such an ale
CATION against me is a reptile"
"Well. naturally be Is an alligator"
American.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04

The Great Reno is the nextnumber
of the Heppner Lyceum course. He
Will appear on January the Sth.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04

Raggles tcheerilyl- Good mornin
boss Farmer-Tt wouldn't be Good
mornin'" il | offered We work. Rag
giles Right We are boss; den il nd be
GOOD day Boston Transcript
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04

Love thy neighbor as thyself' and
also stop talking about yourself now
and then and say a few kind words
about him.-Norfolk Ledger Dispatch
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04

In riches dishonesty come by the
heirs Of the third generation shall not
rejoice Solomon
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04

Any one wanting a few Lin
coin buck lambs can secure them
from Minor Bros. tt
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04

Ignorance is the primary source Of
all misery and vice Cousin.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04
Notice of Stockholders
Meeting.

NOTICE is hereby given that the
y regular annual meeting OF the
stockholders OF the Heppner Mining
Co., will be held at the officeof Sam E..
Van Vactor, in Heppner, Oregon, on
the second Tuesday of February, 1912,
being the 18th day of February, 1912,
at O'Clock p. m. This meeting is
for the purpose OF electing officers
and for any other business that may
appear.
EDGAR B. AYERS, Secretary.
ID. b. STALTER, President.
Dated at Heppner, Oregon, January
4, 1912.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1912-01-04

All kinds of Xmas goods at
Gillian & Bisbee's.
Norwich bulletin., 1912-07-06
POETRY
LIFE.

What is the existence Of mans life But open war or siurnbered strifs7 Where sickness 10 his senses presents The combat of the elements. And never feels a perfect peace Till deaths cold hand signs his release It is a storm-where the hot blood Outvies in rage the boiling flood. And each loud passion of the mind Is like furious gust Of wind, Which beats the bark with many e Till he casts anchor in the grave. It is fower-whhch buds and grows And withers as the leaves disclose: whose spring and fall faint ssasoW Like fits Of working before sleep. Then shrinks into that fatal mold where It's first being was enrolled. It is dream-whose seeming truth Is moralized in age and youth: Where all the comforts he can share As wand ring as his fancies are Till in mist of dark decay The dreamer vanish quite away. It is a dial-which points out The sunset as it moves about: And shadows out in lines Of might The subtle stages Of Times flight Till all-obscuring earth hath lald His body In perpetual shade. It is weary interlude- Which doth short joys. long woes h. The world. the stage. the proioru. The acts, vain hopes and varied fssrs. The scene shuts up with loss sf And leaves no epilogue but Death.
 -Bishop Kfun
Norwich bulletin., 1912-07-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY

Alice-I like this style of coifurs. You see my hair natural part. Tom-Kou don't mean to tell me that some of 1t is false.-Boston Transcript
 Madge-What makes you think that your doctor isn't up-to-date2 Mariorfs -I judge by the papers and magazinsa he keeps on the table in his reception room.-Judge.
 T has heard" said Uncle Eben, "dat politics makes strange bedfelloWs But dat don't make much diffunce when dsrs sech a rumpus dat nobody kant sleep nohow. Star.
 Mrs. Proudman-Our Willy got rner- itorious commentators at school last week. Mrs. O'Bull-Weli, we'll Ain't 1t awful the number of strange dir- eases that's ketched by school chill dren ?-Tid Bits.
 Smith-We arc certainly in luck with our new cook-soup, meat, veKetab bles and dessert-everythin perfeeti Mrp. Si-Yes, but the dessert vas made by her successor-Fliesende Blaetter.
 And yet they say there's no such thing as luck" Whats happened now?" My dentist just called up and cancelled an appointment I had with him. Detroit Free Press.
 Mistress-Well, I'm sorry you want to leave me, Mary; but what's your reason? Mary keeps silent) Mistress Something private? Mary Sudden ly)-No. mum; please mum, he's a lance corporal.-Illustrated Bits.
 Lady-Have you any creams for restoring the complexion? Druggist Ctactfully)- Restoring, miss? You mean preserving. Lady-Kes. Give me half dozen bottles.-P. I.P.
 Lady (to small boy who ls fshinE) -I wonder what your father would sav If he caught you fishing on Sunday. Boy-I don't know. You had better ask him. That's him little farther up the stream.-Lippincotts Magazine.
 And now that you are through col- lege, what are you going to do7 T shall study medicine" Rather crowded profession already isn't it. Cant help that. I shall study medi- cine. and those who are already In the profession will have to take their chances, that's all."-London Opinion.
 That husband of mine has zone toe far" Whats the trouble now7 "Wby, last night he actually complained thal my mustard plasters were not as hot as those his mother used to make" [" Boston Post
 Exceeding the limitg" cried Daw- son. Why judge, your roads around here are so rotten that man couldn't go faster than 10 miles an hour with - out endangering his life" That's ths pint" said the Justice Of the peace. You were eXceedin' the limit O safe - ty, and we find ye guilty of attempting suicide. Ten dollars, If you please % i-Hsrper's Weekly.
Norwich bulletin., 1912-07-06
BREED THEATEK.

Oae of the most thrilling pictures Heen al the Breed this season is the feature today. being entitled The Girl With the Lantern. l. is distinctly railroad picture, and pictures a story that is al once interesting and excit- ing. The great scene of the picture occMrB when the train. to be Jagged by the operator. 10 permit the presi- denf's special to pass, dashes by the station before the operator receives the message. He hurriedly phones his sweetheart some miles up the track and she in turn covers her fathers lantern EiCi a bandana handkerchief, and after a series of mishaps flags the train inst in time to have 1t re- ulrn 10 the station to be sidetracked The special immediately dashes by. its occupants entirely ooliVSous of the ac- cideut that has been aVerted by the cool headed station agent and his little EveethearL
 A yery pleasing story of hobo life is told .in the Biograph reel, entitled An Outcast Among Outcasts. and the Edison company presents a comedy and a trip through the Westminster Kennel club dog show, all the prize winners being clearly shown.
Norwich bulletin., 1912-07-06
LOST AND FOUND.
Brief State News

Watertown.-Friday was the ap- pointed cleanup day for Watertown and Oakville,
 Wapping.-Grandma Hayes, aged S4 years, has picked 100 quarts of straw berries this season.
 New HaVen.-The inventory of the estate of Thomas ". Corbett the Broadway plumber, filed in the pro- bate court, shows a value of $249,73S.
 Old Lyme. - The garden contest started by the directors of the Boys and Girls club has proved successful. The leaders at the present time are Miss Betsy Saunders, Raymond and Burton Stanhope.
 Waterbury.-The local postal savings bank continues to show an increase. During the last month there have been A new depositors, for a total of $879 Eight depositors have withdrawn their savings, S814 The total of the deposits on hand amounts to $S,968.
 tannford.-After displaying samples and taking orders and cash upon a DTOulI56 LO 6uppIy CuStuIu IIdQG ClUlU- ing at $10 a suit, Ignatius Farkas, claiming to represent a New York clothing concern, was recently sent to jail for year by the city court.
 RockviIIe.-Rockville friends have received announcements of the we'd ding Wednesday last of Miss Lavina Otis Meader, daughter of MT. and Mrs. James V. Meader, of Hoosick Falls. N. Y, and Irving Howard Agard of Amherst, Mass, formerly of Rockville.
 New Hartford-A curious phenom- enon took place here on the east branch of the Pennington river the other day, The sun set fire to hay in the moving lot of H. T. Gates. The tobacco stalks, cut up thin, which had been used for a top dressing, had be- come as dried punk and the blistering sun caused it to take fire It set fire to the hay which had been cut and was being raked up. Several tons of hay were lost.
Norwich bulletin., 1912-07-06
AT THE AUDITORIUM.

Ross and Ashton. the well known ec- centric comedians. will be on the bill at this popular playhouse the first half cf ueXt week They are two very fun ny men. and are born comedians. One works straight and the other does a comedy Hebrew character. and they certainly put over d line of very funny stun. Ross and Ashton promise to put over the biggest laughing hit of the season thus far. The silver hatred singer with the golden voice. Dorothy Randolph, will sing several new and poPuiSr selections in her own original style
 The Bachelor and the Lady Is light musical comedy offering presented by Collins and Kent. versatile comedy 1asm-
 Fer the pictures on Monday the bill will be headed by In the Year 2000, 6 Nery clever comedy reel
Norwich bulletin., 1912-07-06
NORWICH MARKsMEN
Make Good Scores at Annual Shoot at Attawauqan--7ecord Of Frank Place of Cochester

The annual shoot of the kftawau- gan Gun club was a success. Com petitors came in from various eastern Connecticut towns. did some good good shooting and had fine time. Frank Corey won in the 100 target event with a score of SS, while the silver trophy was again won this year and for the second time in succession by Mrs. George Brown of BallOuville. Another win next year will entitle her to permanent possession of inc trophy. r.. F.. Bitgood. Danielsou, won the honors in fh" doubles. competing with Dana ". Shippee, East kllingly. On his final shot Mir Bitgood, who is a good man after partridge in the brush. broke both clay pigeons with one shot. The sensational shooting of the day vas b ya young sport sman. Frank Place. Colchester. he getting the ax- ceptional score of g in 3 9 bird event. He had never tried trap shooting be- fore. it is said
 The following are tho scores of the competitors in the 100 bird event: Taft, so; WI $. Brown, Norwich. 84: lsham, 73; Cutler, CT; Olcott, Norwich. 6l: Corey. SS; Despeaux 56: Warren. q Truesdell, Sl; Perry, 73; Mason. 56
 Trophy contest 50 targets Arnold. 35: Brown. 3S; Mrs Brown. 70; Trues- dell, 31 Warren. 3j.
Norwich bulletin., 1912-07-06
Must Be Either eood or naa

"A mans mind may be Hkened to 8 garden, which may be intelligently cultivated, or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into 1t, then an abundance of useless wead-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to pro. duce their kind d>"-James Allen.
Norwich bulletin., 1912-07-06
I Have Sold Nv Farm

and now offer for sale Wagons, liar nesses, Tools, Stock and general farm equipment. Viscol and DeLaval Oils for sale.
 F. c. CUNNINGHAM. Telephones S54-12 and 2S7-2