The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1912-03-16

GACldI Ahday ~SAa-S sA09 NHO
EARTH" Pupil: Five" Teacher:
Correct. Name them" Pupil:
Temperate. incorporate. canal her-
rid, and o."--Life.
Mr.. Andrew Lang once asked Mr..
Israel Zangwill to give his services
for a charity bazaar. Zangwill re-
piled In note, III A. Lang will. I.
Fang will "------------
Are you going to get married or
go to college?" Il think IN get mar
ried. Mabel says she win be my
wife on one condition. and l can't
enter college with less than four.
Washington Herald.
photographer who had taken DR..
Maclaren's picture destroyed the mega
tive. When there was a considerable
demand for the picture. the photo
grapher's Scotch heart was disturbed.
and he remarked. aggrieved. That
man MIGHT haze telrt me he was fam
Gus. and would haze kept hint-<-he
didna look like IT,
A young man was annoyed because
his view of the stage was oostructed
by the hat of q pretty girl In front
OF him. He plucked up courage and.
in a nervous voice exclaimed: SEQ
here. miss. want to look as we'll ~
you" ''Oh. de yer?" she replied In
rich Cockney accent, as she turned
round and looked at him square In
the eye. Then you'd better run home
and change Yer facc."--Tit- Bits.
---------
Little Boy-why. there isn't any
thing on this Christmas tree at all.
Christian Science Mother-Have pa
thence, Willie Wen sit down and
trim 1t mentaiiy.-Life.
1T Is the duty of every one to make
at least one person happy during the
week. said SInday-school teacher.
Now. have you done SO. Johnny"
Yes said Johnny. promptly.
That's right. What did you dor"
Il went to sec my auont. and shes
always happy when ! go home!"-
Answers.
Bridget and Pat were seated IN q
hammock. reading an article on THE
Law OF Compensation" Just fancy"
exclaimed Bridget. "accordin' To this.
wnin a mon loses wan ~ Ii sinseA,
another gifts more developed. For In
stance. a blind mon gifts more sanse
av hearin' an touch an SURE, an
It's quite true" interrupted Pat,
'Ofve noticed II myself. Whin = mon
has one leg shorter than the omar.
begorra. the others longer."--Na-
ticnai Monthly.
Scripture. Can any boy or girl here
tell me how Noah would be likely to
use his time while on the ark Z" asked
inspector. Ono boy timtdly showed
his hand and replied, please. sir. he
wad fish," well. yes. he might"
admitted the inspector. Another lit.
tie fellow waved his h--s. exctiedly.
and said. Please, he couldna fish vera
lang" What makes you think %,
my little man." because there were
only twa worms in the ark."-Cnrie-
tan Commonwealth.
A bishops coach was overturned
and the servants were, up&hls, to sex-p
tricats It. The coachman at last told
his master he believed they must stay
there all night. FOR" said he. while
your grace IL present. cannot make
the horses move" His Iordship de-
sired him to explain. ut In" said the
man. because dare not swear IN
scuA PAGoCoNCs 0uus II = uOu ~ W0 0kAA4A
never get clear The bishop re-
piled. Well. then. swear little, but
not much" Tho coachman made use
of his permission. and the horses,
accustomed to this kind acf. lAngp4Eas
soon set the coach at liberty.
Senator BENJAMIN r. Tillman relates
an amusing anecdoto about colored
man named JEFF, who has been with
a neighboring South Carolina family
since long befor, the war.
One day said Mr.. Tiliman. his
mistress was rather surprised when
old Jeff asked to have . few days on
to 60. as no put It. TO de old State Of
Bosting.' to see HIS aunt.
why. Jeff.' said the lady. 'vour
aunt must be pretty old. isn't she?"
"'Yes'm.' he replied, 'yes'm: NAH
aunt must be pretty old now--sne'a
bout an hundred an Ave years ole
now"
One hundred and Ave vears!. ex-
claimed his mistress: why what on
ton
Deed. LIS dunno what's she's
doin'. ma am rejoined old JeH in All
shes up dere Twin wild
her granmother.' "--Philadelphia
Record.
A doctor living IN rural parts was
recently called upon to visit I patient
some way from his Office. Driving TO
whore the sick man livved. he tried .
his horse to . tree In front Of the
house and started to walk across the
grounds. 1t happened that work was
In progress on q new well. Of which
the doctor knew nothing until he
found himself sinking into the earth.
He fell just far enoush to be unable
to get out Of the hole unassisted ana
Justify yelled for heip.
When he was fnall pulled up, the
hired man remarked TO him:
Il sey. doc, you had no business
down there"
!. NO. don't think ! had rsplisl
The, doctegs