The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-09-01
Yarns of the Courthouse Gang
No. 4-By wELLIN eToN vANDIvER

collection much, and she then decided to
 gimme something simpler. She fingered
 cut familiar kind of noise, that would
 hop along awhile until I was beginning to get acquainted with it, and mme-
 idately that tune would hide behind a big
 fuss. When she had damned the last
 note into the cellar of the Piano I asked her the name of the tune. That Is Yankee Doodle, with variations,' says she. Well you College girls may like such fuss
 said I, but as for me, gimme the naked
 Doodle. Miss Nellie told me that I had
 fine ear for music, but that 1t needed
 cultivation. and when I went to get on my hoss--'
 Speaking of hosses," said the Old Con- federate, "at the battle of Franklin q
 Yankee cut at me with a sabre but
 missed me and struck my hoss, which
 stumbled and fell right on top of me f That's a Hoss on you,' yelled the Yank, laughing fit to kill hisself I wrigged out
 from under that animal and got my old
 cap and ball Navy out of the scabbard
 and shot that blue-belly off of his hoss. l Yah, Yah, That's Hoss and Hoss,' I re-
 marked. and that Yankee seemed to see
 the point of the joke. for the first thing l he done was to sit up and laugh and ask
 me for a chaw of terbacco. I always
 was sorter witty and 1 used to get of | l Prohibition law come along and spoiled
 my temper If old Conner gets back into | the juberna shernal chair I will bet my
 bottom dollar he just naturally will have i this law enforced Why, blame my but
 tons, if the women as,d children out In 1 the rural districts haven't got so that they will sell you booze, in places. It's
 pity we cant get enough sober men in l Congress to pass a National Prohibition | law T-nc1e Sam wo1lid take hand | ir this here Prohibition. you bet she'd l Prohib I would die stone dead before | I would report a booze-seller, but some body ought to do 1t. l am ready to fight l again"
 "Niggers are powerful ambitious to i fight at these here Coon suppers and brunette dances thrust in the Coroner. Give Senegambian a quart of Liquor
 and razor. at supper in the Country and he is as rambunctious for a scrap as a cur dog in fence corner. Most of the funerals that I have been called on to promote were the direct results of liquor. 6 dance. a nigger and a razor. Maybe you fellows haven't noticed that the nig- gers don't smell as loud as they used to do. Just after the war If you went into
 one of these small rooms where they were dancing. you could hang saddle bags on the smell of the audience. but row 1t don't do more than to sorter make you sick at the stomach Colonel Roland
 Rose was a big plantation owner before the War. and had more than a hundred | slaves. Rose was a high-toned Chester field. with an ancestry behind him as good as King. The War swept away his wealth and because he liked horse he opened up Livery business fin q small town. One night the nisgers had
 a dance on the outskirts of the town. and they hired all the rigs that were in the stable. Rose went out to see how his rorses were fari1g and as the evening
 was cool he entered the room where they were dancing and stood tA the Ire to get the chill off him The room emelt like buzzards nest. Directly a bow-legged nigger floor Manager walked up Id Rose and said: Colonel. we don't want to of fend you sah. but de lad.es asks you to retire You smell so much like hoss dey can't stand you.
 q have often wondered if wild birds possessed the sense of smell suggested
 the Clerk. T know that the vietos aud