The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-11
No I never like to make fuss Unless thing is positively shady;
 But when they rail
 Beyond the pale We'll I don't thi nk that's the way to treat lady!

"The Pet Cat sat on the Critics lap and looked with feline wlstfulness into l the Critics face and then rubbed it's soft little fuzzy fur against the Critic s perfectly good "Tailor-made." The Critic was, of course, your none too Humble Servant" l I call myself that because I can think of no more opprobious epithet.
 "The Pet Cat" was named "Mitz,' after the tiny bit of fluff and feathers who played "The Spring Maid here this season. and she belonged to the Fairness Kat"
 She was gray and white and soft and terribly frisky. C'The Pet cat"-not the Fairness Kat.D
 She didn't know exactly what she want cd, and in that respect she was almost human.
 After Aitzi had finished with me, she suddenly bounded away and sealed the knees of the .Kirmess Kat into whose Fife secrets I was prying, and she started to bite her grlish, pretty arm. Therefore, the "ISirmess Kat" admin istered nice little slap-just like that on Mitzi's sassy cheek.
 "Good Lord," I hope she doesn't treat me like that" calculated seto voce.
 Mitzi didn't mind it a single bit, though, and went right on biting her arm around where she had twined her scratchy paws.
 I dare say it didn't, but Mitzi had very spiteful eyes and a vicious looking mus tache- -horrd things for any Lady.
 She was very important person, how ever, I'll have you to understand, because she was playing "Chaperon" to me, and the xirmess Kat-me principally, l guess. since she resented my prying, inqusitive attitude; but l didn't mind, because that is the kind of Chaperon I prefer--the REAL instead of the HUMAN Cat. | The "I<irmess Kat" sat in her cozy den. She was wearing a simple little black frocl, looking as demure as Pris- cila herself-her hair was done high and she was trying to be very dignltied and reserved, and l was quite willing to coun- tenance the effort.
 I pretended that I was chatting with a
 real live actress" in the Kirmess in stead of the mere "Kat'-iust to get the usual sort Ol Atmospilele, uoH you see?
 "Atn;osphere" is very necessary in the deadly game of "Interview''-whether it's good or bad, and this looked pretty ''cloudy"
 T want to know something about what been going on in the filtration line ! at the Kirmess,'' 1 said as the Kirmess Kat pircked up Her ears and looked | wise"
 "Flrtaticn?' "Flirtation?' she shifted l What's a fiirtation?"
 "Oh, it's er-er-' You don't mean to say that you've been prying around be hind tne scenes all this time where two or three hundred boys and girls are gathered together, and haven't scented a nirtation?" I scowled.
 Well to be perfectly truthful, Dolly 6ear," answered the I<irmess Kat there by stringing me as she stro<ed my hand and applied that really confidential look in her eyes that captivates the moment it turned full on you, Ito be absolutely frank, Ve been terribly disappointed. I've attended every single blessed re- hearsai, night ard day, taking my krit- ting along and preening my eyes and ears for sensation, but Honest Injun there g | been nothing doing. The Cheese of Lime Light, to be sure, has proved allaring to