davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
------.--s'----------- VALUE OF \ RATTLESNA AXE

From the Louisville Courier-Journal
 In Wayne county West Virginia, a man caught live rattlesnake and took it down to Huntington, where he placed it on exhibition. One day while the owner was temporarily off guard somebody absconded with the snake. After doing Q little detective work he located the serpent and filed suit for it's recovery or it's value in money, estimated at S300.
 It is to be regretted that so unique a case never came to trial, but when the action was called 1t was announced that a settlement had been effected cut of court. The tribunals of West Virginia, therefore, will not be called upon to fix the market value of rattlesnakes. Not many poepie will agree with tho wayne county man that rattlesnake is worth $301 hi,t it must be remembered that this particular serpent was being used for exhibition purposes. Ia addition the claim for $500 may have embraced dam ages for the laceration of feelings, and the grief. worry and humiliation experi- enced subsequent to the disturbing mo- ment when tho owner woke up and found that his serpentinc meal ticket was gone, leaving not SC much as 6 rattle or a button as a souvenir of past associations.
 The average citizen doesn't care for snakes and doesn't want them at any price. Few men can appreciate the beau ties of rattlesnake, but to naturalist who has tramped the mountains Of West Virginia. captured and tanned Q rattler and taught it to eat out of his hand the sud den and abrupt departure of the pet is a loss not lightly to be felt and not sub missively 10 be sustained. A jury might have had some difficulty in adopting the naturalistic view, but 1t would have been interesting at any rate to nave mad the icc,,a tried ont.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
"HAT the assassination of Lincoln
 might easily have been prevented

might easily have been prevented
 \ is a fact which is not generally known How the inexcusable negligence of John Parker I.incolns guard on that occasion, gave Booth an opportunity to enter the Presidents box was related for the first time by William H. Crook, lin~ coins personal bodyguard, in the issue of Harpers Magazine for September, 19o1 Accounting the circumstances, Mra Crook says:
 q have often wondered why the negli- gence of the guard who accompanied the President to the theatre on the night or the 14th has never been divulged. So far as I know it was never even investigated by the police department. Yet, had he done his duty, I believe President Lin- coin might not have been murdered by Booth. The man was John Parker. He was native of the District of Columbia and had volunteered, as I believe each of the other guards had done, in response to the Presidents first call for troops from the District. He is dead now and, as far as l have been able to discover. all of his family.
 Tt was the custom for the guard which accompanied the President to the theatre to remain in the little passage-way through which Booth entered. Mir. Buck ingham, who was the doorkeeper at Fords theatre. remembers that chair was placed there for the guard on the evening of the f4th. Whether Parker oc- cupied it at all I do not know-Mr. Buck ingham is Of the impression that he did. If he did, he left it almost immediately: for he confessed to mo the next day that he went to q seat at the front of the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
MARK TwAIN's PROFANITY

Albert Bigelow Paine in Harper's Maga-
 zine.
 Among the Enterprise compositors was one by the name of stephen E. Gillis (steve," of course-one of the fighting Giliis'), small, fearless young fellow, handsome. quick of wit, with eyes like needle points.
 Clemens was fond of Steve Gillis from the first Tho two became closely asso- ciated in time, and were always bosom friends; but Steve was a mercless joker, and never as long as they were together could he resist the temptation of mak- fanity was grander than any music.
 Led by Steve Gilis, the Enterprise forre used to devise tricks to set him going. One of these was to hide articles from his desk. He detested the work necessary to the care of lamp and wrote by the light of a candle. To hide 'Sams car- dle" was sure way to get prompt and vigorous return. He would look for it little. then he would begin slow cir cuar walk-a habit acquired In plothouse limitations-and his denunciation of the thieves was like a great orchestration.
 Now, among his Virginia City aequain- tances was young minister, Mir. Ris- ing. Now and then he came to the office to call on him. Unfortunately he hap pened to step in just at the moment when, infuriated by the latest theft of his prop erty, Samuel Clemens was engaged in his rotary denunciation of the criminals. obvious to every other circumstance. Mir. Rising stood spelbound by this. to him, new phase of genius, and at last his friend became dimly aware of him. He did not halt in his scathing treadnlill and continued in the slow monotone ci speech:
 q know, MT. Rising, I know it's wicked to talk like this; I know it is wrong. know I shall certainly go to hell for 1t But if you had candle, MT. Rising, and those thieves should carry 1t off every night, I know that you would say, just as I say. Mir. Rising, may their impeni- tent souls roast for a million years" The little clergyman caught his breath Maybe 1 should. Mir. Clemens." he re-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
Arizona a Full Pledged State

The American Union now consists of As states. Arizona was fully ad- mitted and inaugurated as a state on Wednesday. Thus the last of the ter ritories has been transformed into state, and the great mainland task stands complete. '
 The new governor, George w. P. Hunt, was born in Missouri, but he has lived in Arizona 30 years and is a typical representative of the state he is to preside over. In his inaugur- al address he promised the new state a Golden Rule" administration, and it is believed he will keep his pledge. He is at any rate a good democrat. The telegraphic report says the in- auguration ceremonies at Phoenix were free from ostentation. No mili- tary companies took part in it, and silk hats and frock coats were notice- ably absent. The new state cares lit tie for display, but much for the es- sentials of life.
 The admission of Arizona marks a step in the national growth, and 1t will not be lost sight of in the his- tories of the future. The original 13 is now powerful AS, and there the Union will stand perhaps a genera tion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
PA AND SON

New York Telegram to the Pittsburg Dis
 patch.
 Your honor, papa slaps me all the time, and it hurts, too. I want you to send him to jail,' plaintively said James Kelley, Jr., to Judge Mahon in Elizabeth. N. J. And did all the biz men in court weep in sympathy for the beaten James? They did not. because James Kelley, Jr., is 52 years old and six feet tall. His father is 90 years older. -e..s
 Judge" said the father, T used to think Jimmy was only mischievous. but I am beginning to be convinced he is incorrigible. He goes out every night and stay until Q or 10 o'clock and for all know he may be in bad company. When I try to show him the error of his ways he knocks me down"
 II suppose I ought to send. this case to the juvenile court" said Judge Mahon to the bad boy, but I'll take a share in dis posing of it myself. Six months in the workhouse."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16

the veto act. The lords, too, will be apt to oppose woman suffrage and even Welsh disestablishment. The latter would be regarded as fore runner of disestablishment in Eng land which is greatly needed, and which would be but an act of simple justice to those who do not belong to the established church.
 Altogether the parliamentary ses- sion promises to be one full of interest and politics. There are no indications that the life of the liberal govern ment will soon be cut short. It's work will not be done until it passes the three big bills that will be Had before it. Premier Asquith does not favor woman suffrage, but Lloyd-George does and he is man of weight and The passage of a woman suffrage bill by the commons is con- sidered probable.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
WHEN EDISON TOOK THROTTLE

From the Boys Life of Edison, by Will
 liam II. Meadowcroft.
 The engine was one of a number leased by the Grand Trunk by the Chicago. Bur lirgton and Quincy. It had bright brass bands all over the WOODWORK, was beau tifully painted, and everything was high ly polished, which was the custom up to the time old Commodore Vanderbilt stopped 1t on his roads,. It was a slow freight train. The engineer and fireman had been out all night at a dance.
 After running about b miles they be- came so sleepy that they couldn't keep their eyes open, and agreed to permit me to run the engine. I took charge, reducing the speed to about 12 miles an hour, and brought the train of seven cars to her destination at the Grand Trunk junction safely. But something occurred which was very much out of the ordinary. I was greatly worried about the water, and I knew that if it got low the boiler was likely to explode. l hadn't gone 20 miles before black, damp mud blew out of the stack and covered every part of the engine, including myself. I was about to awaken the fireman to find out the cause of this, when it stopped.
 Then I approached station where the fireman always went out to the cow catcher, opened the of cup on the steam chest and poured oil in. I started to carry out the procedure, when, upon open
 ing the oil cup, the steam rushed out with tremendous noise, nearly knocking me off the engine. l succeeded in clos ing the oil cup and got back in the cab, and made up my mind that she would pull through without oil. l learned after ward that the engineer always shut off steam when the fireman went to oil This point l failed to notice. My powers of observation were very much improved after this occurrence Just before I reached the junction another outpour of black mud occurred, and the whole en- zine was sight-so much so that when pulled into the yard everybody turned to see it, laughing immoderately. I found the reason of the mud was that I car ried so much water it passed over into the stack, and this washed out all the ac- cumuated Soot."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16

To Stand for Underwood to the End The executive Underwood commit
 tee, representing the entire state, adopted on Wednesday the following resolution:
 N Thai the democratic state conven- ton be and is hereby requested to send a delegation to the national democratic convention instructed for Oscar W. Underwood and to place his name be- fore said national convention and to vote for him as a unit for President until a nomination shall have been made"
 This should put at rest the unjust rumofs that are started from time to time. Oscar Underwood is no stalk ing morse. The Alabama delegation will go instructed to vote for him on the final ballot. This takes the stalk ing horse nonsense out of the Ala bama campaign.
 Alabama stands for Oscar Under- wood first, last and all the time, and the sooner this is understood the plainer the situation will become. The campaign in this state is to be con- ducted on that basis. Every delegate
 to Baltimore will go pledged to vote for Oscar Underwood on the final bal
 lot. The hope is that that final bal lot will make Alabama's favorite son
 the leader of his party and the next l President.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
npEIECTIoNs OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 Pedisrees pay more penalties than divi- dends
 Special grill rooms reserved in the next world for politicians.
 A man judges a girls charms by how she appreciates his brains.
 It's better for a nfan to know too little to do him any good than just enough 10 do him harm. What hurts womans pride more than anything else is for her husbands name to he spelled wrong in the telephone Look.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
Campaign Money

From all accounts more money IS being expended to promote the fortunes of democratic candidates for the presden- tial nomination than at any time since MT. Tilden was a candidate in the 70s," said an old, party man.
 MT. Tilden, as everyone knows, was very wealthy-worth high up in. the mil- lions-and he spent his own money freely in politics. He was not only liberal in the use of money in promoting his own interests, but he was most generous in helping any worthy democrat who needed financial aid. MT. Tilden was man above reproach, and every dollar he spent VI politics was honorably spent. As early as 1S72-two years before his nomination for the presidency--he maintained thorough ly organized publicity bureau, and he had newspaper organs and personal agents in nearly every state in the union. With the exception of MT. Tildens candidacy very little money has been used in the interest of candidates for the democratic nomina- ton in my day. General Hancock was nominated in 1880. He was a poor man and was nominated solely on his merits.
 "In 1884 when there were many as- pirants in the feld-Thomas F. Byard, Allen G. Thurman, Thomas J. Hendricks and Grover Cleveland-not one used money to promote his cause. In the con yentons of 1888 and 1892 no money was used by Cleveland or his friends. In 1896 William Jennings Bryan was nominated without the use of money. He burst on .,titI l, ,fr a1a trrOSc of gold speech. I have never voted for Bryan, but think 1t is but just to say that he neevr spent any money to secure subsequent nominatio I know that no money was used in Judge Parker's behalf.
 "In the present campaign there have been evidences of money used by two Of the early candidates-Governor Harmon and Governor Wilson of New Jersey. I mention this not in the way of criticism. Governor Harmon is doubtless a well off man and could afford to spend consider able money in getting up an organization. Governor Wilson is not a man of means, but his friends have evidently been tb- eral in their contributions to his cam paign fund. Wilson money has been spent lavishly.
 "Oscar Underwood has spent no money, although he could better afford 1t, no doubt than any of the other aspirants' He has been a receptive candidate all along but not being an avowed candidate, whatever has been done in his interest has been done by friends on thelr own motion, so to speak. If Underwood IS nominated, and I believe he will be on inc second or third ballot, it will be striking example of the office seeking the man rather than the man tne ollice'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
THE FUGITIVE IDEA
Ry William Watson.

By William Watson. As some most pure and noble face,
 Seen in the thronged and .hurryins
 street, ft9EF <& Sheds OCT the world a sudden grace.
 A flying odor sweet, Then, passing, leaves tho cheated sense Baked with phantom excellence; So, on our soul the visions rise
 Of that fair life we never led; They flash a splendor past ou reyes,
 We start, and they are fled; They pass. and leave us with blank gass, Resigned to cur ignoblc days
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
The Iron Market

Rogers. Brown & Co.'S Cincinnati market report, just issued, says in part:
 The feature of the week has been the stronger position taken by south ern producers. While the aggregate sales Of pig iron for the past week are comparatively small. the market local ly continues firm and in the south is
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
WINTERS BACKBONE

From the Richmond News-Leader.
 "The backbone of the winter is broken says The Birmingham Ase-Herald. The lower part of it. which Is located down Alabama way, may be, but the middle section, which is in about this neghbor- hood, continues to be pretty solid and con- nected.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
RESTRAIN YOURSELF.

RESTRAIN YOURSELF. If you will promise not to shout, We'll pause here to remark Twill soon be time to venture out And seek the baseball park.
 Birmingham Age-Herald. If you will promise not to yell, Not even if you're pinched, A little secret we will tell: We've got the pennant clnched.
 Springfield Union.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Central Fire stafion

'I am glad to sec that the matter of moving the central fire station from the city hall is being agitated." said tax payer. 'The first suggestion was made in the Lobby column some days ago. It was. pointed out that the space now occupied by the central fire station could be fitted up for stores and rented for a good price. A site for central fire sta tion building could-be bought for com paratively little money on Fourth avenue, two or three blocks east of the city hall and a suitable building could be erected for something like s3o009. Handsome storeS in thescity hall on Fourth avenue would improve values fin that block, and in the long run the city would make money by the change.
 T read an Interview with Robert Jemi- son, Jr, in one of the afternoon papers this week on the same line The sugges- tions made are certainly feasible, and hope to see them carried out"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
IT DOES.

IT DOES. It takes a guy Whose purse is fat To occupy A city flat
 Birmingham Age-Herald. It takes much cash, And work, also, To subsist in A bungalow.
 Nashville Banner.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
ENTERTAINING A CUSTOMER.

ENTERTAINING A CUSTOMER. 'I notice you always patronize the same barber Is he a good worl<man?' Not especially SO"
 He seems to talk a great deal, be- sides"
 "Yes. but I don't mind that. You see, my barber is we'll read man and every day he tells me a story from Boccaccio."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
AN ORGY.

"Wegge dissipated dweadfully last night" What did that wecl1less fellow do?" "TIe stood in fwont of a saloon inhaled deeply thwee times and was taken home unconscious
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
A FEW sUGGEsr1oNs,

A FEW SUGGESTIONS. To play the game of politics We need bout first of all A plenitude of foxy tricks And most uncommon gall. The voters grimy hand And exercise the gift of gab On him, to beat the band. A ready smile we still must wear, No matter how we feel, And take great pains most everywhere Our presence to reveal Ne'er must We let the masses think We've any thought of self, And from the least suggestion shrink or patronage or pelf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
A VOICE FROM TEXAS

From the Houston Post.
 Oscar Underwood is big man and we would not blame the Birmingham News for tearing some of It's garments for him, but we entreat Colonel Glass to spare his undershirt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
COULD HAVE SAVED LINCOLN

first gallery so that he could see the play The door of the Presidents box was shut; probably MT. Lincoln never knew that the guard had left his post.
 "Mr. Buckingham tells me that Booth was in and out of the house five times before he finally shot the President Each time he looked about she theatre in restless, excited manner. I think there can be no doubt tha the was studying the scene of the intended crime and that he observed that Parker. whom he must have been watching, was not at his post. To me it is very probable that the fact that there was no one on guard may have determined the time of his attack Booth had found it necessary to stimulate him self with whisky in order to reach the proper pitch of fanaticism. Had he found a man at the door of the Presidents box armed with Colts revolver, his alcohol courage might have evaporated.
 Had Parker been at his post at the back of the box--Booth still being deter mined to make the attempt that night-le would have been stabbed, probably killed. The noise of the struggle-Parker could surely have managed to make some out cry-would have given the alarm. Major Rathbone was brave man and of enor- nous muscular strength. It would have been an easy thing for the two men to have disarmed Booth who was not man of great physical strength. It was the suddenness of his attack on the President that made 1t so devilishly successful. IL makes me feel rather bitter when I re- member that the President had said just a few hours before that he knew he could trust all his guards. And then to think that in that one moment of test one of us should have utterly failed him!'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
IMMENSELY RICH

IMMENSELY RICH. DO you see that corpulent old gentle man alighting from a big red automo- bile?"
 Yes. He seems to be prosperous "I should say so! He has yard eggs every morning for breakfast"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16

The Birmingham News is doing it's best to control its enthusiasm for MT. Underwood, but it ought to get some help. It's support is yet trine too intense.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16

A gun made of cement is one of the latest devices for war purposes. Il is dangerous to stand either at the muzzie or the breech.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16

President Taft is looking for that night letter from Oyster Bay
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16

Campaign keynote speeches are now in order. This is their season, and every aspirant, including T. R.. is expected to make one.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16

The job of governing New Jersey must he a very light one, judging by the very small amount of time devoted to 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16

Lillian Russell says she intends to marry for love alone. She desires to be some body's honey bunch, and all reports to the contrary are misleading.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
AT THE SHOW IN KANSAS.

And knew his swell stenographer.
 AT THE SHOW IN KANSAS. The other night at the show a pretty country school teacher and her beau sat near me, and between acts I could md nothing better to do than to look at the backs of their heads and wonder what they were talking about.
 The girl was dressed up, but not enough to make her uncomfortable like so many country girls have seen-well, town girls, too. And she never giggled, nor rubbered about to see what the town girls were wearing-she didn't care She laughed only at the jokes that had real wit in them, and didn't get shocked at the rotten ones-she ignored them, and the old ones she smiled at like she would on meeting an old friend. She didn't chew gum, and she ate popcorn two grains at a time, feeding with her right hand. She wore ribbers and didn't hold her beau's hat She was a good girl and I liked her. The boy-I liked him, too-was redhead- ed and had big ears. He laughed ire quently, but not boisterously. He only bought one sack of popcorn, and didn't beg her to have any more-he knew how much was good for her. He wore good clothes and had a black necktie. He wouldn't look ornamental in the Baltimore hotel, but I'll bet you couldn't sell him
  and you couldn't buy corn from him at last weeks quotations. He wasn't very talkative, but he wasn't exactly bash full And now I'm goin to look for them into town every now and then. But when they do get it fixed up and about every thing ready to go to housekeeping, if her school board remonstrates and tells her she's forsaking brilliant career to be a farmers wife. hope she tells the board to go chase itself. And they'll be happy. too They don't deserve anything else. And if he doesn't put it off too long he can have the Courant a year for noth>. ing.-Tom Thompson, in the Howard Cl<as) CoOrant.
 RATHER UNI<IND.
 "Niggles and Nagg doon't speak any more."
 "Why not?''
 "Niggles told Nagg he would send him a copy of his new book and Nagg said he would just as soon have Cremo.'
 A RAPID EATER.
 You say he is fast young man?" "At the dinner hour-yes."
 QUITE so.
 "Pa, what is a tidy fortune 2" "A clean, crisp ten-dollar bill, my son. TOO CHILLY FOR OUTDOOR READING
 "A book of verse
 Beneath the bough'
 Would be a cold
 Adventure now.
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16

China became republic on Abraham Iincolns birthday, and historians may be able to trace tho one to the other.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16
MuNcHAUsEN VISITS THE Moor

No ono can even today name Americas s 4D immortals.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-16

MT. Taft accuses, we regre. to say, his predecessor of "ies, misrepresentation and hypocrisy" This campaign Is warm ing up.