The Harlowton news., 1912-07-05
TRUE IRISH BULLS.
They Have a Pungent Flavor Pc
cu|iar to the Green Isle.
UNDERs LINKED WITH WIT.
All Nations Mix Metaphors and Per-
petrate Self Contradictory Figures
Of Speech, but the Emerald Brand
Holds the Prize For Point and vigor.

C. Percy, the author, contrasts the
English and Irish variety to the ad
vantage Of the latter. Although the
most diverting bulls are usually IA
thered upon lrishmen. they have not
by any means a monopoly. All nations
mix metaphors and fall into self con
Trajectory blunders. Englishmen make
bulls probably just as often as Irish
men, but there is a difference The
English ones are seldom amusing.
The Irish ones almost always are.
Mr.. Gladstone never hinted at Irish
blood in his veins, yet he once warned
an NJ p. that it was no use for him
ito shake his head in the teeth Of his
own words" Mr. Balfour has spoken
Of IAN empty theater of unsympathet-
ic auditors" Lord Randolph Churchill
referred to an item of national credit
as "a mere flea bite in the ocean Of
our expenditure" II further proof be
called for it was YorkshiremaD who
told meeting of shareholders IN some
place Of entertainment at Leeds that
they had been catering for class
which does not exist and which now
goes to Bradford" 1t was an English
chairman of railway company who
said ut would pay better to carry
third class passengers for nothing
rather than let the tramways get
them"
Why is it. then. that bulls are sup
posed to he native to Ireland? 1t can
hardly be for the reason that they are
supposed to take their name from a
certain Obadiah Bull. an Irish barris,
ter. who nrncticed in London during
the eighteenth century. MIR. Percy ac-
cepts this derivation. though there is
another which relates the name with
the traditional remark of the timid
woman who was 'afraid to cross a
field full of COWS in case one of them
might be bull" That has the flavor
of the true irish bull. 1t is pungent
sharp to the point. The meaning
flashes out quick and clear Other
bulls result from a lack of oil in the
headworks Irish bulls are really due
to mental quickness, which takes
short cut rather than the high road
and relies upon the hearers to show
equal agility. That is why they leave
an impression, while the bulls of other
1 nations pass unnoticed or fade directly
from the mind.
Here, for example, is delightful
ellipse. One woman. describing anoth-
er saiG "She would talk the head off
| you. | am hoarse listening to her"
Most of us have felt that, but it need.
ed real wit to phrase it SO aptly. Quite
as funny, though less witty, was the
advice given to cyclists in an Irish
paper, The best way to pass COW on
the road when cycling is to keep be-
hind it, One is reminded of the man
who said there was only one way to
make a donkey follow you-that was
to 60 behind and push. The same writ
er on cycling once selected "a shady
nook and basked there in the sun
shine" 1t was he, too, who described
some one as having received "a grand
reception when he went away"
In Irish political speeches bulls
abound The speakers are carried
away by their subjects and their elo-
quence. Images leap to their lips and
are uttered before their incongruity
has been noticed why" asked Sir
Thomas Myles in Dublin during the
Boer war-"why should Irishmen stand
with their arms folded and their hands
in their pockets when England calls
for aid?" Lord Russell of killoWen
was denouncing a coercion bill in 1880
and it's interference with free speech
IF this measure is passed." he declar
ed, mo man in Ireland will be able tC
speak on politics unless he is born deaf
and dumb" Mr.. O'Shea, M. P, drew
a piteous picture of the desolation OF q
farm in Ireland. lis it not fact" be
asked, "that the only living animals
on this farm are the seagulls which fly
over it?'
In every one of these cases the bull
far from being a source OF confusion
adds immensely to the effect of the ar
! gument. There are bulls, however
even in ireland. which are born Of
sheer muddleheadedness. Such was
the remark of the Dublin university
lfHSHI!lIU WHO WIS " iCpp
broad and muddy ditch in College
park. Sure" he said. 'if l jumped
, across that would fall in the middle
before | got halfway" That was yer
bal carelessness. 1t was somethln:
- more than this-it was inability II
b think clearly--which made an old lad,
say one Sunday when the porch wa
4 inconveniently crowded after church
4 "If everybody else would do as | d.
and stay quietly in their seats till ev
4 cry one had gone out there would b.
no crush at the door,"
9 In between these comes class Q
bull which is neither Illuminating no
confusing. but which arises from
4 constitutional bluntness OF intellect
j TO this class belongs the reply Of
Y servant to her mistress question. "Wh
q was that at the front door?" IA ger
tlenan looking for the wrong house
. ma'am." the servant said. II did no
" | fJn ,,,on live f1nfit |