Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-27

man III Il $tV JOD AZ Cnefe is
to level Off a country highway
with a safety razor.
There are a good many silk hats in
this country with nothing inside of
While they are talkin' OF havin' uni
form laws. why not pass one prOhitin'
entirely exceptin' for police
and railroad conductors?
II the microbes can't kill "A Teller any
other way they gently succeed in scar
in hum to death.
Bud Hicks. who. for reasons best
known to himself. desires to drop out'n
sight and conceal his identity. has de-
clded that the best way is to get elect
ed to congress.
Elmer Jones is away on an extend
ed trip to West Hickeyville for a day
n i half and Miss Pringle has al
ready received five picture post cards.
A Teller that talks with "a cigar in
his mouth is 4 good one to keep his
eye on in II boss trade
AND THEN SOME.
I'he planets will fall out of line.
The moon will cease to shed her
beams;
The poet cease to dream his dreams.
The seas will all be dry,
The stars be missing from the sky;
The warning ma lions will shake hands,
And peace will reign i'm foreign lands.
The busy mills will cease to grind,
And palsy strike all human kind.
All nature will be upside down:
kind trade places with the clown:
The blac];birds they will all be- white:
All Will be wrOn. and nothing right.
The whole world will be up the
spout
Long ere 4. r.. is down and out.
-
CAMPAIGN BROMIDEs.
"Cnmitigated liar"
Grave robber, scoundrel and black
leg"
The glorious stars and stripes.
The grand old American eagle"
THE men who fought, bled and died
on southern battle fields.''
Our peerless leader, Theodore
Roosevelt says-
II stand before o this evening""
I'm the name of justice / ask you,
fellow citizens
II stand on my record"
That immortal patriot G-a-w-g-e
Was h-i-n-g-t-o-n."
point with pride"
We view with ALARM
I'm the words of William Mckinley"
we are satisfied that ON election
day you will do YOUR duty toward
yourselves. your homes and your coun-
uIN. In3nk YOU.
IN ALMOST ANY RESTAURANT.
Guess I'll take some of thai chick
en potpie.'
That's crossed off the bill. All
gone.
We'll. then, some of thai lobster a la
Newburg.'
That's scratched too. All gone
Then some of the roast duck"
All gone"
"Sweetbreads.''.
A gone"
What on earth have you got
Roast beef and brown gravy or
roast pork with apple sass"
Did you ever have anything else?
Mot since / came to work here. IL
years ago"
well. give me some roast beef"
Rare. mejum or We'll done? Better
take we'll done. it's all we've left"
All right
IT'S ONE DRAWBACK.
They say that Esperanto is
a language that's beyond
But one thing that has been overlooked
In Esperanto one can't swear.
There does not seem the slightest doubt
This language new, will fail right
there.
Will Esperanto ever do
For him who gets up in the night
To marathon wits squalling kid
Who kicks and squirlns with all its
might?
When he treads firmly on a tack
His English will come back. all
right.
How will the chauffeur get along
When with a final wboovo o,,a rr,,k
His car gives out nine miles from
home,
Which is not an unheard of stunt?
Will Esperanto bs his choice
OF language? Indeed, 1t won't.
The ultimate consumer, too.
Is one whom we must not forget.
When he finds that his grub is gone,
And higher prices must be met.
Can Esperanto e'er suffice
To voice his burning thoughts?
Not yet.
WHY
Does a woman poke at her back hair
whether 1t needs 1t or not?
Are sQueaky shoes 30 popular with
the men who come aroun to the Of
fices collecting bills? 1t isn't necessary
to attract so much attention.
Do fat men always pick out low
crowned hats?
Do all tall women wish they were
little Della Foxes?
Does the trolley always come of
when the conductor 10 In the middle Of
the a with both hands full OF nickels
and a package Of transfers between
his teeth?
Does rent day always come just when
you haven't got a cent?
TIPS ON THE RACES.
(By our Staf Tippler).
Brass Band ought to be in front mos