The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-04-28

as he iourneyed, hummed a joyous lay
 and then broke forth into the chaste
 chords of the Missouri Dog Song. The ! Equs Asinus shied. Baaam welted the l hide of the unmusical mule and after the 1 insurrection was queled the Prophet from
 Mesopotamia insulted the echoes of an in- noeent wilderness with lyrical vocal strains from Alexander's Rag Time Band.
 At this outrage the hemione onager en- deavored to scrape the singer off it's back.
 and in doing so crushed his foot against
 a wall, awaking three sort corns to their full duty. Balaam is a Biblical charac-
 ter, and it will hardly do To repeat the 1 language he used in public on this occa- l sion-the Grand-Jury room Is the only proper locality to rehearse his infamed
 voca bulary. Again the Rev. T. Balaam Beor. D. D. Ph. D. l.. l.. D., swatted that Donkey feryently. Later on when Balaam lifted his voice and essayed the opening | ode of his Lodge, No. 23, r. o. B. Sons of Guns the animal feeling that such
 barbarc sounds were unfit for the ears
 of a Lady Jackass, simply laid down in the road. The two servants fled at the first note of the melody-they had heard Baalam try that ode berore The rider beat the Jenny vigorously, and then for
 the first time in the history of the world
 an Ass-a she Ass, at that-a quadruped
 of the Family Equidae uttered spoken
 
 beaten three times. asking what she had
 done to deserve it, and asserting that she
 was not in the habit of doing as she had done today.
 Baalam answers that the reason he beat her was because Thou hast mocked me" Now Mock" is to simulate. initiate or mimic, and 1t is evident that the Hee-
 flaw moved by the minstrelsy of her
 rider "Donked' in unison with her Mas | ters voice. and with the usual jealousy
 oe the Prima Donna. Baalam got mad at
 the Arizona Mocking Bird. When it
 comes to Operatie Singing how few of us measure up to the standard of a Jack ass? At this juncture 'the Lord opened
 the eyes of Baalam, and he saw the angel
 of the Lord standing in the way and his
 sword drawn in his hand. and the angel
 told Baalam that the Ass had seen him, the angel, and had turned from me these
 three tmes-thereby saving Baalam's iife-in addition to thls Baaam was com manded to go on with the Princes of Balax," but only the word that l shall speak unto thee that thou shalt speak. So, after all, the cussing expedition was a failure and the hectic vocabulary of
 Baalam was effectualy spiked. for when the Prophet reached the locality over looking the Jewish settlement his cuss words failed, and the Lyceum Committee was bitterly disappointed in tie attrac- ton. Posterity has paid much more at tention to immortalizng Jackass than embamlng in memory the performances of a half baked Prophet from the Coast District--but we wonder why if the Jenny had bestowed upon her the gift of speech, she failed to tell Baalan mat she had seen an angel and thus account for her colty conduct. Probably the real reason is that she was an Ass. The speech which Baalam eventually made is one of the most dlgnified and striking deiiverances of all Time aboundng in splendid im- agery copied from the tablet of nature, conspicuous for the glowing elegance of the style and the form and diversity of the figures, from which we may infer that before q preacher can please some audiences it is necessary for him to have experience both with Asses and angels.
 From the beginning the Jewish Nation was organized in such way as to stand d good deal of abuse. and hard cussing, and thrive under 1t. In the centuries past this s1eatlered Nation has endured nearly as much fervent cursing as was heaped uUon the Southern states by a Radical Congress during Reconstruction days and the grey walls of the Capitol at Washington has many times since sixty five looked down upon re-enactment of Baalam and his Ass. as applied to the suf- fering South.