davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-08-07
Nation Is Impatient.

We stand in the presence of an
awakened nation, impatient of par
tisan make-believe. The public man
who does not realize the fact and
feel its stimulation must be singular
ly unsusceptible to the influences that
stir in every quarter about him. The
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04

was Yankee man came long las
fall a-sellin' some stuff in a bottle
what he call 'No-To-Kink' what he say
would take the kink outer any Mig
gers head. An Aunt Cindy bought a
bottle fer to take the kink outer her
hair an me an Wilkes Booth Lincoln
put some on us heads an it jes' make
mine curlier'n what it was already. rs
shame to go roun' folks with my cap
off, a-lookin' like frizzly chicken.
Miss Cecilia say she like cit though.
an we's engaged. Yves goin to git
married soon's puts on long pants. :"
How long you been here, Billy ?"
asked the other boy.
Well, don't know perxactly. but
| been to Sunday-School four times.
/ got engaged to Miss Cecilia that
very frs Sunday, but he did n know
it tell | went over to her house the
mex day an toll her bout it. She
say she think my hair is so pretty"
Pretty nothin'," sneered his rival
"She JUS stuffin' you fullern a tick
with hot air. 1t just makes you look
like girl. There's young lady come
to spend a week with my mama not
long ago and she put somepin' on her
head to make it right yeller. She left
the bottle to our house and / know
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04
MANY COURT DEATH.
Hunters Every Year Venture
Forth on Niagara River.
Nlmrods Caught In Running Ice Jam
Observed by Man With Glass, Who
Watches Them Plunge Over
the Falls.

Buffalo, NJ. Y.--The fascination OF
hunting must be very great when it
will lure men out onto the Niagara
river in the winter to an almost GER
tain death trap. 1t seems that the
duck hunting is especially good but
very dangerous about mile above the
falls. Every winter adventurous duck
hunters put out in small boats and
dodge the Ice cakes while they hunt
their favorite game. AS rule, how
ever, most of the hunters perch them
selves upon a ledge Of ice and hunt
from It. They take a terrible risk even
by this method, for the ice jam that
Is constantly moving down stream is
at any time liable to dislodge the hunt
er's perch and down he goes victim
to the merciless cataract
Not many years ago two men were
observed in duck boat trying des-
perately to row out of running ice
jam which had carried them down the
Canadian channel from far up the
river, Their terrified efforts were
closely followed by a man with spy
SAcs00s WIZ Ad0 uAoCONOAO0 JnCAI lAOhA
the windows OF one of the large shore
factories on the American side The
unfortunate men had already drifted
too near the first roaring cataract to
admit of any possible rescue, SO the
watcher could only helplessly wait for
their pitiful death.
In describing the incident afterward,
he said: God, what could | do to help
them-what could any man do? The
Almighty alone seemed to hold them
in his power. One man seemed to be
wrenching his shoulders from their
sockets with the oars; the other stood
in the stern, desperately plying pike
pole. An oar broke, and was replaced
by third. The man didn't lose sec
ond in it's replacement. Then, In a
mighty stroke, the other oar went.
and he fell sprawling back in the boat.
He stood up, pulled the good oar from
its pin, and began padding insanely
from the side.
"They made little progress. Slowly
the great field of ice swept them
down, down toward those snarling,
angry cataracts below. / writhed in
agony before the hopeless vision. Into
the rapids swept the fore part of the
ice jam. Then the first great wave
seemed to rise UP and hover hungrily
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04

wnera t is. Maybe IL you'd put some
o. that on your head 'twould take the
curl out"
"'Taint nothin' a-goin' to do Il no
good" gloomily replied Billy. "'Iwould
jest make it yeller'n what tbs now.
Won't be pretty sight when / puts
on long pants with these here yaller
curls stuck on topper my head? I'd
'nuther sight ruther be bal'-headed.'
Bonnie Dicks got bout the kinki-
est head they is"
Bonnie Dick was the two-year-old
baby of Mrs. Gamers cook, Sarah
Jane.
ct sho' is. replied Billy wouldn't
he look funny if he had yaller lair.
cause his face is SO black 2"
81 know where the bottle is" cried
Jimmy, snatching eagerly at the sug-
gestion. Lets go get it and put some
on Bennie Dicks head and see IL it'll
turn it yeller."
Aunt Minerva don want me to go
over to yo' house." objected Billy.
You all time talking bout Miss
Minerva won't let you go nowheres;
she sure is imperdunt to you. You
bout the fraidest boy they is.
Come on, Billy" pleaded Jimmy.
The little boy hesitated
81 don't want to git Aunt Minerva s
dander up any more'n ! jest natchelly
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04

to know more'n me and Miss Cecilia.
One time they's man name William
Tell and he had little boy what's
the cutest kid they is and the devil
come long and temp him. Then the
Lord say, William Tell, you and Adam
and Eve can taste everything they
is in the garden 'cepting this one ap-
pie tree; you can get all the pears
and bunnanas and peaches and grapes
and oranges and plums and persim
mons and scalybarks and fig leaves
and bout million other kinds of
fruit if you want to, but don't you
tech a single APPLE And the devil
temp him and say he going to put
his cap on pole and everybody got
to bow down to it for idol and If
William Tell don't bow down to it he
got to shoot a apple for good or evil
off'm his little boys head That's all
the little boy William Tell and Adam
and Eve got, but he amt going to fall
down and worship no gravy image on
top pole, so he put tomahawk in
his bosom and he token his bow and
arruh and shot the apple plumb th'oo
the middle and never swinge a hair
of his head. And Eve nibble off the
apple and give Adam the core, and
Lima all time 'sputing bout Adam and
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04

knows yer, rs er-gwine ter make 20
nanny gi' We de worses whippin
yer cher got an. rs gwine ter take
dis here William right ober ter Miss
Minerva. Amt y'all shame er yer
selves? Err tamperin' wild de ha'r
what de good Lord put on er colored
pusson's head an er-tryin' fer ter
scarify my feelins like yer done An
yer hear me, rs gwine see dat some
body got ter scarify yer hides"
IF that amt just like you, Billy"
said Jimmy, you all time got to per-
pose to make niger heads yeller and
you all time getting little boys in trou-
BILE. You bout the smart Alexist jack
rabbit they Is
You perposed this here hair BUSH
ness yo'self, Jimmy" retorted his fell
low-conspirator "You's always blam-
in yo' meanness on somebody else
ever senee you's born"
"Hit don't matter who perposed
hit" said Sarah Jane firmly: mean
ness has been did, an y gotter be
structified on de place pervided by
natur' fer ter let my chile erlone."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04

Eve and William Tell amt in the
Bible. They're our first parents.
Now, Billy, you tell tale and then
1t will be my time" said Lima with
-the-best-for-the-last air.
Once they was a Of WITCH said
Billy, what got outer her skin evy
night an lef' it on the berth an
turnt herself to great, big, black cat
an go up the chim'ly an go roun' an
ride folks fer horses, an set on evy-
body's CHS an suck they breath an
kill 'em an then come back to bed.
An can't nobody ketch her tell one
night her husban' watch her an he
see her Jump outer her skin an drop
it on the berth an turn to enormous
black cat an go up the chimly. An
he got outer the bed an put some salt
an pepper an vinegar on the skin an
she come back an turnt to oman
an try to git back in her skin an
| she can't cause the salt an pepper
an vinegar mos burn her up, an she
keep on a-tryin' an she can't never
snuggle inter her skin cause it keep
on burnin' worser n ever, an there
| she is oman thout no skin on. So
she try to turn back to cat an she
can't cause it's pas twelve efclock.
an she jest swivvle an swivvle tell
! finely she jest swivvle all up. An
! that was the las of the ole witch an
her husban' live happy ever after
| Amen"
| "Once upon a time," said Lima,
there was beautiful maiden and she
rent wants her to marry rich old
man threescore and ten years old,
which is most all the old you can
get unless you are going to die; and
| the lovely princess. said, No, father,
| you may cut me in the twain but |
will never marry any but my true
| love- So the wicked parent shut up
the lovely maiden in a high tower
many miles from the ground, and
made her live on turnips and she had
nothing else to eat: so one day when
she was crying a little fairy flew in
| at the window and asked, Why do you
weep, fair one?' And she said, "A
wicked parent hath shut me up and
l can't ever see my lover any more.
So the fairy touched her head with
her wand and told her to hang her
hair out of the window, and she did
/ and it reached the ground, and her
lover, holding a rope ladder in one
hand and playing the guitar and sing
/ ing with the other, climbed up by her
| hair aud took hpr down on the ladder
and his big black horse was standing
near, all booted and spurred. and they
rode away and lived happy ever
after"
How he goin' to clam up. Lima"
asked Billy, with rope ladder in one
hand and his guitar in the other2"
81 don't know" was the dignified
answer. THAT is the way it is told
in my fairy-tale book"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04
CHAPTER VIII.
TeIIers of Tales.

The days flew rapidly by Miss
Minerva usually attempted to train
Billy all the morning, and by the mid
that she was glad to let him play in
the front yard during the afternoon
Here he was often joined by the
three children whose acquaintance he
had made the day after his arrival,
and the quartet became staunch
friends and chums.
All four were sitting in the swing
one warm spring day, under the sur
veillance of Billy's aunt, sewing on
the veranda
Let's tell tales" suggested Jimmy
All right agreed Frances. I'll
tell the first. Once there's"
Nav, you amt neither" interrupt
ed the little boy. You ell time talk
ing bout you going to tell the first
tale. I'm going to tell the first tale
myself. One time they s."
mo, you are not either" said
Lima positively. Frances is a. girl
and she ought to be the first if she
W ants ". LIN JOO llll1hs So, Billy
''Yas. does" championed he; go
on, Frances"
That little girl. thus encouraged,
proceeded to tell the first tale:
"Once there 8 man named Mr..
Elisha, and he had friend named
Mr. Elijah. so his mantelpiece fell on
top of his head and make him per-
fectly bald; he hasn't got a single
hair and he hasn't got any money.
cause mama read me bout he rented
lis garments. which is clo'es, cause
he didn't have none at all what be-
long to him. | spec he just rented
him shirt and pair O. breeches
and wore 'ep next to his hide 'thout
no undershirt at all. He was dreadful
poor and had a miser'ble time and
mean Nj. Per'dventure took him up
on a high mountain and left him. so
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04
by FRANCES BOYD CALHOUN
light. by Reilly & Britton Coz

when he come down some bad little
children say. Go long back, bald
head!' and they make pock-mocks on
him. Seems like everybody treat him
bad, SO he cuss EN-, so l never see
anybody with bald head 'thout run,
cause don't want to get cussed. So
two Teddy bears come out of the
woods and ate up forty-two hunderd
of 'em."
why, Frances" reproved Lima,
you always get things wrong. don't
believe they ate up that many chill
dren."
Yes, they did too, championed
Jimmy, cause it's in the Bible and
Miss Cecilia 'splained all bout it to
me, and she's our Sunday school
teacher and bout the bullyest 'splain-
er they is. Them Teddy bears ate up
bout a million chillens, which is all
the little boys and girls two Teddy
bears can hold at time"
| Il knows man what amt got no
hair t all on his head" remarked
Billy; hes conjure-man an me
an Wilkes Booth Lincoln been talkin'
| to him ever sence ives born an he
amt never cuss us, an amt never
| got eat up by no Teddy bears neither.
| Huccome him to be bald? He's out
in the fiel one day apickin' cotton
when he sees turkey buzzard an he
talk to her like this:
I say turkey buzzard, I say,
Who shall see unexpected to-
day?'
eff she flop her wings three times
| you goin' to see yo' sweetheart, but
this-here buzzard amt Iop no wings It
all; she jes' lean over an th'ow up
on his head an he been bald ever
sence; ev'y single hair come OUT
did gou-all hear bout that Italian
| Dago that works on the section gang
eating buzzard?" asked Frances
Nav" said Billy. did it make
! him sick?"
That it did" she answered; ''he
sent for Doctor Sanford and tells him,
| Me killa de big bird. me eat-a de big
bird. de big bird make-a me seek. ?
1
Them Dagoes bout the funniest
talking folks they is" said Jimmy,
"but they got to talk that way cause
it's in the Bible They sputed on the
tower of Babel and the Lord say Con
found you'll Miss Cecilia splained it
all to me and she's bout the dandiest
'splainer they is"
you may tell your tale now.
Jimmy" said Lima.
I'm going to tell bout William Tell
cause he's in the Bible" said Jim
my. "Once they's a man name"
William Tell isn't in the Bible"
declared Lima.
Yes, he is too" contended the lit
| tie boy, Miss Cecilia splained it to
me. You all time setting yourself up
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04
END OF HISTORIC HOUSE
Residence of Nine. de Sevigne of Paris
to Be Turned Into Homes for
Workmen.

Paris-One Of the residences OF
Madame de Sevigne, whose letters re-
vealed so much of the inner history of
France during the days of lie grand
monarQue," Is about to lose its his
toric character 1t Is country house
near Livry, on the way to Gargan, and
it used to be called Madame de Sc
vignas "folie." "Folie" was a name
given in the days of Louis XIV, and in
later years to any country seat over
which an owner INDUCED an uncOm-
mon fancy in the matter of it's design.
One of the characteristics of
Madame de Sevigne's 'folie" was a
quaint. little chapel, and near 1t GU
rious sort of belfry. which long ago
fell into ruins. The rest of the cha
teau is fairly well preserved. 1t was
in this quaint residence that Madame
de Sevigne is believed to have writ
ten many of her letters to her daugh-
ter
1t is now sharing the fate of many
a similar relic of the past tits being
transformed into modern resort of
utility An association providing cot
tage accommodations for the working
classes has obtained possession of the
house and grounds. The old hall has
already been converted, and, with the
additions in progress it will become
a vast caravansary of about 200 rooms,
with as. many kitchens and offices.
Most Of the old walls will remain
standing. but. the Transformation will
be suchsthat future visitors will hard
ly recognize any vestige of Madame de
Sevigne's 'folie"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04

visit when the gate opened, and
Lima and Frances, their beloved dolls
in their arms, came skipping in.
Jimmy, who had had a difference
with Billy ana was in the sulks on
his own side of the fence, Immediately
climbed over and joined the others
in the swing. He was lonesome and
the prospect of companionship was
too alluring for him to nurse his an
ger longer.
Aunt Minerva's gone to the Aid
Society" remarked the host. Don't
y all wish 1t met ev'y day std 'er
jes' meetin' ev'y Monday?''
Yes. do" agreed Frances, you
can have SO much fun when our ma
mas GO to the Aid. My mama's gone
too. so she left me with Brother and
he's whiting love letter to Ruth
Shelton, SO slipped off,"
Mother has gone to the Aid, too, .
said Lima.
my mama too" chimed in Jimmy,
"she goes to the Aid every Monday
and to card parties nearly all the
SAAAhOs OAC lCllCQ Odldu JduG u I0uu
to me and Sarah James asleep. hear
her snoring. Amt we glad there amt
no grown folks to NEEDLE? Can't we
have fun?"
"What'll we play?" asked Frances,
who had deliberately stepped in a
mud puddle on the way, and splashed
mud all over herself. lets make mud
pies"
Nav, we amt a-going to make no
mud PIES objected Jimmy. I'VE can
make mud pies all time when grown
folks r. looking at you"
Lets play sumpin' what we amt
never play. sense we's born" put in
Billy
Il hope grandmother won't miss
me" said Lima, she's reading very
interesting book
Lets plan Injun!" yelled Jimmy;
I'VE amt never play Injun"
This suggestion was received with
howls Of delight
my mama's got box of red stuff
that she puts on her face when she
goes to card parties She never puts
none on when she just goes to the
Aid. | can run home and get the box
to make us red like Injuns," said
Frances.
my mother has box of paint,
too"
y amt never see Aunt Minerva put
no red stuff on her face" remarked
Billy, disappointedly.
Miss Minerva, she don't never let
the Major come to see her, nor go to
no card parties, is the reason" ex-
planned the younger boy, "she just
goes to the Aid where they amt no
men, and you don't halter put no red
on your face at the Aid. Well let
you have some of our paint, Billy.
My nlalna's got bout a million diff'ent
kinds"
I'VE got to have pipes" was Fran
cess next suggestion.
my Dapa's got bout million
pipes" boasted Jimmy, but he got
'em to the office, I Spec"
Father has a meerschaum."
Aunt Minerva amt got no pipe"
Miss Minerva's bout the curiousest
woman they is" said Jimmy; "she
amt got nothing a tall; she amt got
no paint and she amt got no pipe"
Ladies don't use pipes, and we
can do without them anyway" said
Lima, but we must have feathers; all
Indians wear feathers"
"I'll get my mama's duster," said
Jimmy.
me, too" chimed in Frances.
Here Billy with flying colors came
to the fore AMI redeemed Miss Miner
vas waning reputation.
AUNT Minerals got great, big
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04

sense in Mr.. Wards arraignment or
manifestations person who ecstaticaliy
pays rs cents for food and rs cents
additional for French name to go
with 1t. The person OF that tempera-
ment is evidently convinced that grub
by more genteel name would taste
as sweet. and is determined to eat it
by the other name. cost what it may.
Why eat ''vittles" when. by merely
paying quadrupIe price. one may
have nourriture? Why. indeed! Ii
French names for Yankee dishes serve
best to keep In circulation the money
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04

over the little boat Both men saw it
and rushed toward each other. Locked
in eacE Others arms they disappeared
into the curling SWELL That was the
last l saw of tnem."
Niagara also plays the death trap to
hunted as well as hunters. Hundreds
of wild fowls are swept each year over
the falls. During densely foggy nights
strange ducks often stop to roost in
the upper waters of the river. Drift
ing unconsciouslyl toward the brink.
they are suddenly hurled down into
the abyss of plunging water.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04
CHAPTER vIl.-continued.


About this tire the defrauded fowl
flew from ner nest and attempted TO
get out by her rightful exit. Find
ing it stopped up by a wriggling,
squirmSng body she perched herself
on the little boys neck and Tapped
her enraged wings in his face.
PULL" yelled the child again, help
me th'oo. Billy, fore this fool chicken
pecks all the meat off m my bones"
Billy grabbed the sticky limbs and
gave a valient tug, but the body did
not move an inch. Alas, Jimmy with
his cargo of broken eggs was fast
imprisoned.
"Pull again!" yelled the scared and
angry child, "you bout the idjetest
idjet they is If you can't do no better
n that"
Billy jerked with all his strength,
but with no visible result.
Pull harder! You no-count gump!"
screamed the prisoner, beating off the
hen with his hands.
The boy on the outside, who was
strong for his years, braced himself
and gave a mighty wrench OF the
other child's stout extremities. jim
my howled in pain and gave his
friend an energetic kick.
"I4emme go!'' he shrieked, you old
impa'dunt backbiter. I'm going to
tell Miss Minerva you pulled my legs
out by the roots"
A small portion of the prisoners
blouse was visible. Billy caught hold
of it and gave strong jerk. There
was sound of ripping and tearing
and the older boy fell sprawling on
his back with a goodly portion of the
younger child's ralment in his hands.
nov see what you DONE" yelled
the victim of his energy, you amt
got the sense of buffalo gnat. oh,
oh! This hole is bout to cut my stom-
ach open"
Hush. Jimmy!" warned the other
child. Don't make so much noise.
Aunt Minerva II hear you.'
Il want her to hear me- screamed
Jimmy. You d like me to stay
stuck in a chicken hole all night. Oh!
oh! obi"
The noise did indeed bring Pilly's
aunt out on a tour of investigation.
She had to knock a plank off the hen
house with an axe before Jimmy's re-
lease could be accomplished. He was
lifted down, red, angry, sticky, and
perspiring, and was indeed sight to
behold
BILLY got to all time perpose some
thing to get little boys in trouble,
he growled "and got to all time get
'em stuck in hole in chicken
house
my nephew's name is William, =
corrected she.
you perposed this here yo'self!'
cried an indignant Billy Me an
Wilkes Booth Lincoln don know moth
in t all bout no rabbits eggs sence
we's born"
1t doesn't matter who proposed it, >
said his aunt firmly. you are going
to be punished. William | have just
finished one of your night-shirts. Come
with me and put it on and go to bed.
Jimmy, you go home and show your
self to your mother"
"Pick up 20 shirt-tail offer the
groun what | tore off, Jimmy" adj
vised Billy, IAN take it home to yo'
ma. Aunt Minerva" he pleaded, fol
lowing mournfully behind her, please
don't put me to bed; the major he
don 90 to bed no daytimes; l won't
never get me no mo- eggs to make
rabbits eggs outer
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04

"Redmanite" is yellow substance,
like sulphur, and named after its dis
coverer. which, it is said. may prove
a preventive OF steel tuberculosis =
Steel tuberculosis. it seems. is the
name of the chemical process which
affects the frames of skyscrapers. and
will cause the tallest and mightiest
of them to crumble and totter within
so years, t. cheerful scientific prophets
are to be believed "Redmanite" may
not do all that is claimed for 1t. but
at present there are high hopes in
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04
Pay for the French Names

as persons who turn up their noses
at eggs with grated cheese, Is cents,
but go into ecstasies over oeufs la
refine, $1-exactly the same dish" To
descend little in the scale, says Mr..
Ward. beef and" establishments are
highly profitable; fact which. as he
points out. goes to show that II these
can coin money at five and ten cents
a throw" the others can do better.
There Is undeniably deal OF sound
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04
Doctor Fills Footpads.

Pottstown, Pa.-Two would-be high
waymen did not know their man when
they halted DIR. G. Houghton Clapp
while he was driving his, automobile
along the lonely Schuylkill road oppo-
site Pottstown. DR.. Clapp is sturdy
athlete and former member OF the JEFF
ferson Medical college football team.
Suspecting their evident intentions to
rob him. he felled the two men with
that many blows. and then coolly pro-
ceeded to see his other patients as II
disposing OF highwaymen was an every
day job.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-04-04
Kansas. where it's discoverer. young
Mr.. Redman. dwells.
Rreaklno ! Wisdom MONOPOLY.

I'm afraid the country suffered q
great loss when they failed to send
our eloquent and able friend back TO
congress-" Not at all, replied Sena-
tor Sorghum The sense OF the piain
people again prevailed Why should
the lecture platforms be robbed that
the brainy men may be assembled 10
listen TO one another. where Instruc
ton Is supertluonsY