The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-05-02
Decline and
Fall

to him at All.
"Wby tie idea." exclaimed her
in surprise. MI jar
gers is one Of the most popular men
! know, He's asked everywhere and
II ha rays any attention to a girl eV-
erv one takes her up. OF course mes
older than lust a mere boy, but I'm
s,,re he is we'll bred and entertaining
and"
"ue can be all that" interrupted
her relative, land even then sha n I
want 10 welcome him as member OF
the family. It's because he reminds
me so of Artemus Milkins-l guess
Won never heard Of him. Artemus
was one of the best-loOking young
men in two states and all the girls
were crazy about him. They were al
WAYS getting into quarrels over Arte-
mus. and they watched one another as
cats watch mice, waiting to see when
way they were going to jump. BE-
cause they were so afraid they'd get
beaten out when 1t came to marrying
him.
"Artemus must have had wonderful
endurance and a constitutional disre-
gard for sleep. for otherwise he never
could have stood up under all the din
ners and dances and balls and other
frivolities to which he was asked.
Once when he had the grip and stay
ed away from party 1t was Just ruin
ed, for the girls all went home early.
There wasn't house in town where
the mother wasn't more than willing
to sit up nights finishing her daugh-
ter's new frock il Artemus was going
to take the girl anywhere.
Naturally, after a few years the
first crowd of girls gave up and mar
ried lesser lights. but there always
was a new crop of girls for Artemus
to De the idol Of, and. tell you, they
burned incense!
He kept getting handsomer, too.
After a girl has been out ten years
she may be pretty and all that. but
she hasn't the charm Of youth that Is
SO fetching. With a man It Is differ
ent. A man keeps right on being
good-looking and popular and when
they begin calling him one Of the
bachelors II really adds tone to him.
Fancy its adding tone to a girl when
they begin referring to her as one
Of the older crowd!
Everybody wondered why Artemus
didn't marry and settle down, but
knew 1t was because he was having
too good time What's the use Of ty.
Ing yourself down to one slave when
you can just as we'll have twenty OF
more?
We'll, for years and years Artemus
was our most popular bachelor. an In
stitution, an aggravation, a sighed-fol
prize an ornament to our parties. Hi
decline was very gradual and unno
ticeable. I don't think any Of us no
ticed 1t for long time after Artemut
did. I presume when the tailor added
five inches to the girth of his new
dress suit waistband It made Artemu'
sit up at last and take notice ant
think
when man thinks he grows sent
mental. Artemus decided 1t was tim
for him to get married He mus
have enjoyed lining up the girls an
selecting the favored one, because h
picked out the youngest and pretties
of that years debutantes and YER
gently and kindly informed her tina
she could marry him. You see. W
heard all about these things, becaus
nobody felt 1t breach of confidenc
to talk about Arremus doings.
1T must have been a shock to Artt
mus when Inez failed to burst int
tears Of Joy. Inez blushed and stan
mered and said: No. thank you,' In
scared way and then glided from hin
giggling. That night she told Tor
Flitt all about It as they sat in tn
hammock. Tom said. why, the oil
donkey and kissed her indignant.
"Artemus called next on Seren
Phipps. Serena was 20 and popula
but inclined to be q highbrow. Art,
mus remembered how she had locke
at him when she was IS and he r,
hected that possibly HE coldness ha
driven her to economics and social r,
form. When he proposed to Seren
she regarded him % though he wei
q bug. Then she told him frank
that she wouldn't marry him becaus
he wasn't her ideal Of q man, and Oh
was no more In love with him tina
she was with the weeping willow tire
outside. and would he please shut Ii
gate when he went out, 80 that Ii
dogs wouldn't trample the flower bed
There were two after that. bot
older than Serena. Artemus SCENE
to decide that years might bring mo,
appreciation Of life's blessings. Nett
er Of the two seemed to yearn for
blessing in the shape Of Artemu
One Of them had eyes that almo,
crossed. too. Her refusal must hay
chagrined him deeply.
He began to look haggard and I
rarely smiled. The whole processio
rushed by gayly without him, an
while he was in this respondent fran
of mind his landlady. who was 45 an
used bad grammar and had a son age
%. married him. think II serve