The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-09
JAYHAWKER JOTy

Splitting is a manly art, advises the
Eimporia Gazette, and a woman who
tiles it looks foolish as we'll as having
her jabot run extraordinary risks.
| A farmer out in Seward county takes
| his hogs to market in an automobile
notes the Leavenworth Times and ii
adds: These are not the only hogs that
ride in automobiles in Kansas, however.
Attention is directed by the Alma
| Signal to the fact that in Clay county
! a doctor has been nominated as coroner
] by the Republicans, an undertaken by
| the Democrats, and a tombstone seller
| by the Socialists.
Eugene Overton. of near Syracuse, is
some worker. He told the Syracuse
Journal recently that he na5 not only
cultivated but actually hoed ~ hand
so acres Of corn. In addition to that
he has MIXED ten cows and looked
after his big punch of cattle.
Told by the Newton Journal: A
party of men talking politics stood ON
the walk in front Of the postofhce
the other day. Upon the approach OF
an old colored man he was asked .
We'll, uncle. I suppose you VIII support
Taft?" He replied: mo, sab! I caan
hahdly suppoht myself.
Just as the Fifth district voters were
thinking of employing Burns detec-
tive to find out where Congressman
Rees 'stands' politically. says Charlie
Biakesley in the Kansas City Star, Mr..
Rees returned home and makes 1t as
clear as possible that he's what you
might call a standpat Progressive.
A prominent ran returned recently
from a business trip to- New York, re-
lates the Fort Scott Tribune. He was
telling his wife about all the sights he
saw when he suddenly remembered the
opera he went to. "Oh, yes" he said.
ST saw grand opera and you can take it
from me 1t wa5 grand The singing was
the best ever imagined would hear"
OF course his wife was interested and
she asked several questions. Finally
she exclaimed: But did they sing it in
English?" The man was Disguised be-
yond measure, but his face had pa
tient look as he returned: "Of course 1t
was; at least that is what l was told"
Every town has a man who knows
it ALL If he is at ball game he
knows exactly when the umpire is
wrong and can tell every time the play
err makes a mistake, says Bert Walker
in his Osborne Farmer. If he is at a
horse race he will inform you where a
certain driver lost the race. At the
whist party he will tell you how you
could have won another trick by play
ing differently. In short he knows it
all and knows it all the time. It doesn't
pay to argue with him. You can't
knock any conceit out of him and you
will only loose your temper. Don't ar
que with man who knows 1T all. The
only possible thing you can do is to
try to tell a bigger lie than he does,
and then you want to tell It last.
A young Atchison couple have been
married long enough to be rather set
tied down, and have been neglected
considerably by their gay unmarried
friends, relates the Atchison Globe.
personal lately appeared in the Globe
that the Atchison couple would soon
entertain a wealthy man from the east,
and ever since this announcement they
have been deIuged with invitations.
The wifes girl friends flock to the
house continually and they have incIud-
ed the married couple in all of their
picnics and auto rides. The Atchison
couple are having the time of their
lives and fried chicken is almost be-
ginning to pail on them. but they are
accepting every invitation and enjoy
ing their popularity to the limit. When
ever the Atchison man and his wife
are alone though. they just about split
their sides laughing.