The Washington herald., 1912-01-21
By DOROTHY DIX.


II my correspondents are any criter-
ion Of human woe. the source Of most
Of the misery in the world is the moth
er-in-law.
For ages the caricaturIst and the hu-
norist have represented his wife's
mother as driving a man TO drink. but
according to the women who tell me
their sad. sad stories. the wtfe's mother
is household angel compared 10 the
husbands mother.
Every day l get a dozen or more fat,
thick letters In which women relate the
prosecutions they endure from their
mother-in-law. One writes:
81 have been married some little time
love my husband and my home would
be Ideally happy II II wasn't for the
Interference Of my mother-in-law. I at
tend to my husbands bookkeeping and
stenographic- work. being at his ONCE
all day. and then hustle home in the
evening to prepare the meal and after
dinner do my housework. Sometimes Il
Is nearly midnight before go to bed.
yet my mother-in-law styles me an 'ex-
travagant wife because I have a wash
woman every two weeks TO do the wash
ing and ironing. which she thinks
should do, even though ! am at business
all day. when ! am sick she has no
sympathy for my suffering. but worries
about the extra expense l am causing
her SON."
Another woman writes that her moth
er-in-law has simply taken possession
OF her house. and runs II to suit her
own fancy, and that she has no author
ity in II. Still another that her mother
in-iaw makes her life intolerable by her
constant fault-finding and abuse, and
that when mother-in-law heaps all sorts
OF insults upon her her husband stands
supinely by without taking her part.
A Dire situation.
So the stories go, and the burden OF
each lsmentation Is. "oh. how happy I
could be II Il were not for my mother
in-lsw." and / suppose that with equal
truth mothers-in-Iaw could exclaim:
"oh. how happy 1 could be II II were not
for my dauEhter-in-law.'
To my mind, there Is no other situation
In life more pathetic than that engen-
dered by the in-law proposition, for out
OF IL t-o perfectly good, conscientious
women can manufacture more heart
burning and suffering In 4 minute than
malice can invent in a week. Talk about
jealousy, II you want to see the Green
eyed Monster in his most fearful aspect
watch a wife and mother fghting over
the poor, unfortunate man. who Is help
lessly trying to do his duty by both OF
theml
You might think that some pity for
him. some consideration for his happi-
ness, would stay their hands, but not so.
II Is a fight to the finish. in which no
quarter is given, and II never ends this
side OF the grave.
Whose fault is It that this perpetual
warfare goes on in practically every
home where a mother-in-law and a
daughter-in-law are brought into con-
tact? Both women are TO blame. The
young wife is TO blame because she en-
tiers into matrimony with a chip on her
shoulder instead Of carrying an olive
branch in her hand. She's out looking
for trouble. and she finds II a-plenty.
She takes no pains TO conciliate her
husbands mother, or to make a friend
OF her. but goes out OF the way TO be
aggressive and to resent her every sug-
gestIon as an attempt Of the older woman
TO boss her.
Not until woman has sons Of her
own does she realize the anguish that
tears a mothers heart when she sees
her son preferrinE another woman TO
her, loving another woman better than
her. II young wives understood this
surely they would not resent so keenly
a sons few attentions to his mother after
he is married, nor would they haunt
their monopoly OF their husbands SO
brazenly in their mothers-in-law's faces
know OF one young and tactful women
who married a man between whom and
his mother there existed a peculiarly ten
der bond OF devotion This wife at once
assumed the same attitude of affection
to her mother-in-law that her husband
occupied. She deferred to her, cultivated
her society. and even goes to the pains
Of making little opportunities for mother