davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
MONKEY TURNS ON SCIENCE
FIees From Doctors Preparing to Give
Him InfantiIe Paralysis and
Escapes Pursuers.

New York-An intelligent monkey
sat in his cage in one of the Iaborato-
ries at Cornell Medical college, watch
ing doctors at work under the direc-
ton of Dr. Arthur Throw They were
preparing a saline solution containing
sweepings from a room that had shell
tered a case of infantiIe paralysis. 1t
is possible that he suspected their in
tention Of injecting the filtered solu-
ton into his spine. At all events, he
could be heard for a surprising dis
lance as he voiced his feelings.
Finally the filtration was finished,
and the attendants opened the cage.
The monkey bounded out, leaped to
the window and vanished by the way
of the fiVe-inch coping between the
first and second story window. Work
men passing by along Twenty-eighth
street were treated to an unusual ex-
hibltion of stmian antics, continued
by the truant, who was dead to the
coaxings from the window.
Then travelling west on the coping
he came to the space between the col
lege building and the Manhattan
brass works. This space is used for
coal, and it is closed by an iron fence
The monkey tried a flying leap and
succeeded in escaping the spikes, but
he found the fence uncomfortable
For his next leap he took the startled
shoulders of one Michael O'Brien, who
was working in the Enclosure Then.
before the mans hands could close
upon him, he jumped for the coal pit
and disappeared.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
C0MPOSES MUSIC AT SEVEN
Prodigy in France Surprises Profes-
sors by His Genius-Scientists
Are Interested.

Paris.-A seven-year-old boy OF
Renens has such extraordinary must.
cal genius that he is said to compose
beautiful and original music with as
tonishfng facility and speed. Among
the works of the boy, whose name is
Rene Guillou, are symphonies, soma
tas, melodies, fugues. and duos for
piano and violin. all of which have
provoked the admiration of the pro
fessors of the Conservative.
Scientists are much interested in
this case of abnormal precocity.
Young Guillou plays the piano per
fectly, but his chief ability seems to
be that of composing. His ability ap-
pears to have developed suddenly one
day after the child had heard mill
tary band play Chopin's musical
march
On returning home, although he had
never touched a musical instrument.
he is said to have gone to the piano
and played the march quite correctly.
Rene GuiIlou is tie son of postof
fee employe.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
Persons Failing to Draw Farms
Would Marry.
Lucky Ones in South Dakota Distribu-
ton Are Beseged by Unsuccessful
Entrants-One Man Writes Let
ter to Two Women.

Omaha, Neb.-Ten thousand men
ed to draw farms in the recent distri-
button of Indian lands in South Da-
kota, seem determined to marry 100
acres of land-at least, it looks that
way from the number of offers of
marriage now being received by those
who were lucky enough to make a
strike" in the big lottery. From ap-
pearances some of the disappointed
men have simply gone through the list
of winners and whenever there appear
ed the name of a woman as having
drawn farm they have written her,
offering their heart and their hands
the latter for use in breaking" the
100 acres of land and making a home
on it. And a lot of the women seem
to have followed the same plan.
When Judge Witten, in charge of the
land drawing at Gregory, S. D., ad-
vised from the platform that the young
men who failed to draw a farm do
their very best to draw a wife, he
probably little expected that not only
would 10000 or $4,000 men take him
at his word, but thousands of women
would enter the lists for a helpmate.
Miss Elizabeth Grove of 1910 North
Twenty-eighth street, Omaha, was
one Of the lucky ones and drew a fine
farm. Now Miss Grove can have her
pick of half dozen or more men who
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
DOCTORS DECRY HIGH HEELS
French Authorities Say They Cause
WEAKNESS and Other Ills
to Women.

Partisan outcry against the pres
ent fashion of women's footwear was
raised this week by the French med.
zeal faculty.
THAT tired feeling" of which so
many women are complaining, it is
asserted, is largely due to the wear
ing of high heels. According to the
French doctors, the unnatural posi-
ton which the foot is forced to take
when shod in a fashionable shoe con
st1tutes complete displacement of
the center of gravity, and, by throw
ing the whole weight of the body on
the foTefoot, occasions a contraction
of the muscles of the toes and legs.
Strong criticism is also made of
women who. as soon as they return
home from the theater or from some
social function. give way to impulse
and change their high-heeled shoes
for a pair of soothing f1at-soled slip
pers.
This remedy. it is affirmed, is rath-
er worse than the i'll itself, for It
causes the foot to pass from one ex-
IRENE to the other, which in the end
is bound to produce persistent suf-
fering.
Varicose veins are also given as
one of the probable consequences of
| the high heels of fashion.
In the opinion of leading French
| doctors. women who value their
health should never wear heels higher
than one inch.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
DOG TO MOTHER CUB BEARS
London Geological Gardens to Try Elk
pertinent in Rearing
Polar Bears.

London. - Some young polar bears,
whose arrival is being awaited at the
London Geological gardens. are to be
mothered-by a dog!
Hitherto all the polar bears born to
Barbara, who is now collecting bits of
straw and making nest, have died.
A great effort is. therefore. to be
made to rear the polar bear babies,
which, if they live. will be the first
educated in captivity.
The new treatment of the polar ba-
bies will be a daring experiment A
few hours after birth the cubs will be
removed from the mother and taken
to the sanitorium in the zoo. where a
dog-probably a boarhound-willb be in
trusted with the duties of foster
mother.
Under the care of DR.. P. Chalmers
| Mitchell and experienced veterinary
surgeons every attention and luxury
will be given to the young bears. and
their progress watched daily.
Barbara has sad record as a moth
| er. Last year two of her cubs died,
| probably because she used to take one
out for an airing in Indictment weather.
Sam, the father polar bear takes lit
tie interest in his children, except that
he imagines they are dainty morsels
to eat He is. therefore, separated
from the nursery.
! In the reptile house five eggs of a
South African egg eating snake are ex-
pected shortly to hatch in warm sand.
Only one egg, it is feared. will be sue.
cessful.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
Defender of Blends.

Paris.-A fair-haired woman core
spondent Of the Eclaireur de Nice has
made an energetic protest against the
dictum recently laid down by French
savant on the intellectual and physical
superiority Of brunettes. The scien-
fist in question asserts that two gen
erations hence fair women will be ex-
tfnct and that the blond woman is a
degenerate type
Dark women, he adds, are usually
more robust and stronger physically
and Intellectually than their fair sis
ters. The correspondent challenges
these statements and says that a true
French blond is a gem" The letter
is signed a fair woman who rides
horses. climbs trees and receives doc
tors only at her dinner table"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
HEN PECKS MANS DIAMOND
Gem From Shirt Stud Vanishes in
Novel Manner-Owner of Jewel
Refuses to Kill Chicken.

Allentown, Pa.-Because he petted
a pretty white Leghorn hen during the
closing hours of the Allentown poultry
show, A B. Flower, a poultry fancier
from central New York state, is minus
his diamond stud
Flower came on, hoping to meet
Judge Braun of Syracuse, with whom
he had business. In the display from
the Blink Bonnie farm was an attrac-
tive little white chicken that every
body made a pet Of. During the week
she had been taken out of her cage
many times and allowed to sit on the
shoulders Of women, when she would
peck at their earrings or the buttons
on their coats
Flower was much taken up with the
hen, and put her on his shoulder, when
she began to peck at his diamond. He
and the bystanders laughed at the
cuteness of the chicken. It seems the
stone was not very well fastened, and
rs the little hen gave it a vigorous tug
the sparkIer loosened and she swaI-
lowed it.
Some unfeeling bystander suggested
killing the chicken, but Flower We
toed the suggestion, saying it was his
own fault, and that he had more dia-
monds anyway.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
I. C. johnson of Gravesend Was Pic
neer of Portland Cement Indus
try and Temperance Worker.

London.-There died at Gravesend
recently / c. Johnson, who completed
his one hundredth year last January.
He was known locally. as 'Gravesend's
Grand Old Man" and his career had
several remarkable features.
Born of working parents at Vaux-
hall on January %, 1911, he worked as
a lad in a cement mandatory at
Nine Elms, and in later life he estab-
lished factories for the manufacture
of Portland cement at Swanscombe-
c1iffe and Greenhithe He opened the
first cement works on the Midway,
and also established extensive works
on the Tyne.
The Portland cement industry owed
its origin to Mr. Johnson. He was
enc of the oldest total abstainers.
and had been engaged in temperance
work from boyhood. He learned to
cycle when he had attained the age Of
81 His mental faculties remained
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
WANT TO WE'D LAND

have asked to share in her good for
tune Every mail adds to the list of
those who wish to assist her in devel-
oping her Enthusiastically, as the
head of the family. Miss Grove re-
| ceiyed No. 2,282-and within three
or four days received four offers of
marriage. One was from Wyoming.
another from South Dakota and two
from Nebraska. Miss Grove is in the
cloak department of department
store
That certain of the men are going
into the business in a wholesale man
ner in order to insure a winning" is
shown by an incident which came to
! light in Norfolk, Neb. Two girls from
that town, friends, went to Gregory,
registered and each drew fairly good
number. Several days later one tele-
| phOned the other: Come on over to
my house. I've got something awfully
good to tell you"
80 have l. I'll come right away"
answered No. 2. She came. No.
met her at the gate. It's just too
funny for anything" said she. Here's
a man wants to marry me just because
drew a farm" And she Iaughingly
drew letter from her belt
just listen to this" and she read
through an appeal for permission to
come at once, marry her and go to
housekeeping on the homestead The
letter was from a farmer down in
Kansas
Yes. that's funny" said No. 2, but
not near so funny as it would have
been had 1 not received its mate
and she, in turn, drew out a letter 1t
was identical, word for word. with that
received by No. 1. And the signatures
were the same
That man is getting himself in po-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
LAWS INJUSTICE MADE PLAIN
Farmers Grievance Was That Story
Once Accepted Should Not
Remain Good.

A story is being told at the expense
Of an old English farmer who was
recently called upon to explain why
he had failed to take out a license for
q favorite fox terrier dog. Els mob
but q puppy" the defendant remarked,
IN response to a question as to the
animals age. Yes, yes! So you say
But how old is he?" "Oh, weel, I
couldn' tell to a bit" was the reply.
I never was much good at remember
ing dates, but 'e's nobbut a puppy"
OF the other hand, it was maintained
that the animal in question was a
very, very OIdfashioned puppy, and
the magistrate inflicted the usual fine
Shortly afterWard the farmer was met
By friend who wanted to know how
he had Jared at the police court.
~NObbut middIin'," was the reply.
Did they fine your" Yes" respond
ed the victim; AN 'ang me if | can
understand it! Last year an the year
afore that ! told the same tale about
the same dog, an it wor auus good
enough afore! Who's been tamperin'
vi the XIV sin last year,"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
a Golf Story

There's another story of a man who
rang the bell at the gates Of Paradise
and asked Peter if he might go
through
What were you on earth?" asked
the saint.
We'll, was the response, during
the latter part of my life | didn't do
much but play golf"
Got a golf ball on you?"
Yes; here's Chancellor.
st. Peter took it and threw it over
his shoulder, where it rolled away.
For a minute or more he looked
critically at the applicant then shut
the gate in his face and locked it,
What's the game?" said the man.
You are no real golfer" said st,
Peter You don't even know the
first rule of golf-to keep your eye on
the ball and follow through"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
- He couldr.t Sc pown.

Harry, aged six, is an orphan; but
an induIgent grandmother and kind
maiden aunt have taken care OF him.
The first pair Of knickerbockers were
secured recently, and 1t was a proud
moment for the boy when his aunt
put them on him on Sunday morning
and he was permitted 10 go to church
with his grandmother. Naturally
maiden aunts know very little about
the arrangement of knickerbockers,
and there was suspicious fullness IL
front and an equally mystifying tight
ness in the back to be observed, as
the little chap trudged happily along
In church Harry sat down, but did
not appear comfortable and stood up.
Harry, sit down., whispered his
grandmother. He obedientIy climbed
back On the seat, but soon slipped OF
again. Harry, you must sit down. %
Grandma, l can't. My pants is chok-
ing me" She looked more closely
than her dim sight had before permit
ted, and discovered the new little
knickerbockers were on hind side ne.
fore. Harry stood up during the re-
mainder Of the service.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25

sition to have to fight a suit for
breach Of promise, agreed the two
girls.
In Lincoln three men who drew
farms and whose names appeared in
the list printed in the newspapers have
received offers of marriage from girls
who were unsuccessful in the draw
ing. But two of these men already
have wives. More than half Of the
5000 names drawn from the huge
pile of envelopes at Gregory were of
Nebraska and South Dakota people,
with Iowa a strong third
These are the people who are re-
ceiving the offers of marriage, the
the writer's of which are scattered
from end to end of the country. with
large majority from the states ad-
joining South Dakota. where the free
lands were located.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
He Never Heard Of BRYAN.

Allentown, Pa.-Because he declar.
ed he had never heard of William Jen.
nings Bryan. that statement tempo,
rarily deprived Charles WalIitsch OF
American citizenship. Judge Trexler,
who put the question to the applicant,
deferring action to give WalIitscb op-
poTtunity to post himself upon the per.
ennial candidate.
-O~O~O~-~O~O~-~O~~~~~~~-~~
The keeper ducked and the snake
landed on the ground. Then there
was action, enjoyed by the crowd safe
in front. A snake fears shovel or a
broom. Attendants soon had one OF
each at work, but at that it required
an hour to get the cobra back into
his cage
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
SwaIIouyinc GIorv

The little daughter of a well-known
Baltimore clergyman recently startled
the family while at breakfast by sud
denly eXclaiming:
I'm full of glory!"
What on earth do you mean, child ?"
the father fastened to ask
Why" exclaimed the youngster, "a
sunbeam just got on my spoon, and
I've swallowed it."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
4 HOld:;~Uu
An Oppressive Trust.

Before the Coffee Roasters' Association, in ses-
sion at Chicago on Thursday, Thomas J. Webb,
Of Chicago, charged that there is in existence a
coffee combine which is 1.-THE most monstrous i'm
position in the history of human commerce"
There is very slight exaggeration about this
statement. 1t comes very close to being literally
true There is a coffee combine in Brazil, from
which country comes the bulk of TIE coffee used
in the United States, which is backed by the gov
eminent of Brazil and financed by it, which COM.
pels American consumers, as Mr.. Webb said, '@to
pay famine prices for coffee when no famine
exists"
The worst thing about this is that the consum-
ers of the United States have been compelled to
put up the money through which this combine,
to further cinch them, has been made effective,
There were formerly revenue duties imposed upon
all coffee entering the United States. Those taxes
were denounced as an imposition upon the people;
as taxing the poor mans breakfast table, and the
like. The taxes were removed. Immediately
thereafter Brazil imposed an export duty uponI
coffee up to the full amount of the former customs
taxes in this country. The revenue which for
merry went into the treasury of the United States
was diverted to the treasury of Brazil. The poor
mans breakfast coffee continued to cost him the
same old price.
But this was only the commencement. The
''valorization' plan was evolved in Brazil.
through LnlS plan the government using the rev.
enues derived from the export duties for the pur-
poses takes all of the surplus crop in season of
large yields and holds it off the market, thus
keeping the supply down to the demands. of the
market and permitting the planters to receive a
much higher price than they would otherwise
have done.
The United States consumes more Brazilian cof-
fee than does the rest of the world. We are the
best customers of Brazil, and Brazil buys little
from Us. Now Brazil is promoting, financing and
maintaining trust designed, and working effect
lively for the purpose, to compel American con-
sumers to pay an exorbitant price for the coffee
they use. What is the remedy?-8oattIa P0st-In-
tslZig6acsr-Nog. 10, 1911.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25

4 certain small girl, YEARLY listen
ing to a long sermon by a renowned
cleric who had an odd habit Of draw
ing in MS breath with a curious wh1s-
tie. whispered to her mother that she
wanted to go home. The mother, ex-
pecting the discourse to end momen-
tarily, refused permission The third
time this happened the mother muir
INJURED in the chiId's ear that the
preacher would soon stop now. But
the child, nervous and despairing. an
sweTed her in high faIsetto:
No mother he is not going to
stop. [ thought so now for three
times, but he has gone and bowed
himself up AGAIN."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25

The phrenologist was examining the
bumps on Sambo's head.
Curiosity and acquitiveness abnOr-
maIly large"
Sambo rolled his eyebalIs and
showed two rows of white ivory.
ImitaGFeness, casualty and consci-
entiousuess small; which with your
weak mouth indicates"
Don yu be 50 shu bout me hab-
in ma teef."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
DODGES FANGS OF DEATH
Ducks and Cobra Strikes
Ground.

New York-A ten-foot king cobra
at the Bronx Zoo gave a performance
the other day that was entirely IN
looked for by the throng gathered in
front Of his cage. The spectators had
been attracted by the snakes hostile
attitude toward a small black snake.
which he was handling in the manner
in which a cat leases a mouse.
Keeper Charles Snyder opened the
door in the rear Of the cage 10 assist
the black snake. The cobra coiIed
and flung himself toward Snyder.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
SelfEvident.

Louis N Parker. the playwright, has
a ready wit. as was demonstrated at a
supper party the other night. Par
ker's neighbor. a famous actress, nod
ded toward a pretty girl at the next
table and said: Don't you think
she's awfully young to wear such a de
couete gown?" Well" said Mr.. Par
ker, "she certainly is a STRIPPING.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
Wnmanis WzN.

"A woman's convention, Ell? What
90 women know about enthusiasm
Now at the last national convention
We men eheered our candidate for an
hour
That's all right, said his wife.
we threw kisses at ours for sixty-sev-
en- minutes by the clock. "-Louisvill
CourieT-Journal.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
Saw No Difference

People who seek books from the fc-
ton section make some funny
breaks" says a librarian of the Libra
~ of Congress. y have made note of
a number Of these, but none of them
amused me more than the request of
c sOur-lOoking spinster.
She sternIy demanded of me a copy
Of The RecolIectons Of a Liar l told
her that I didn't know it, but that l
could give her The RecoIlecUons of
d Married Man
That will do said she acidIy. Its
practically the same thing. "-Lippin-
colts
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
Inherits Fortune and Drops Dead.

IFF'iSI ItS 7 SI NN1I'S S'''1 IT OPo ISau'
Middletown, n. Y.-John Taylor,
who received word a few days ago
that he had fallen heir to a portion of
an estate valued at $18O,O00. dropped
dead. His body was found in his barn
near this city. Taylor had planned to
give up farming as soon as ne received
Is legacy.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
ENGLISH CENTENARIAN DEAD

virile to the last, and until a short
time ago his recreation was the max
ing Of literal translation of the New
Testament from the original Greek.
He had been mayor of Gateshead,
and was justice Of the peace.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
Treacherous Memory.

Parson Johnson-Yo' must nevah
cherish an enmity against youh neigh
Dor, Mis- Jackson. If you'll neighbor'
does you an injury you must forget it.
Mrs. Jackson-An' so l does forget
it, pahson-but Use got powerful bad
memory, and | keeps forgetting dat
Use forgotten it.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
Only $4,000 will secure a fan

ONLY $4,000 will secure a farm
IN South Georgia. Ideal climate, three
crops year. Larger investments also
accepted. We can pay you fine profits
until you can take possession. Abso-
Iutely new plan. Write fully how
much and HOW you want 70 invest
for special offer Geo. w. Deem, Box
o. WaycrOss. Ga.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
WALKING Tor Nerves

The nerves suffer from waQt of pure
oxygen. They run like a network all
through the skin and when they are
overweight the ska is apt to De dry
and colorIess. Walking is an excellent
tonic for the nerves. 1t gives them
strength to control themselves.
If one has means or leisure. there
are plenty of other more enjoyable ex-
ercises. But few forms are so bene-
fetal as the regular daily jaunt of four
or five miles for obtaining a good com
plexiOn.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-01-25
J J aloodis
SarsapariIIa

Acts directly and peculiarly
on the blood; purifies, enriches
and revitalizes it, and in this
way builds up the whole sys-
TEN. Take it. Get it today.
In usual liquid form or chocolate coated
tablets called Sarsatabs.