davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19

have to discharge the new eovernesst
she's awfully wicked!
Wicked? How wiokedr said the
mother.
"'She tells u.s. said the little sarl,
Bible stories on week-days.'"
81 don't believe in forcing schools for
children" said Governor Woodrow
Wilson at a dinner in Trenton. IA
child that knows as much at as or
dinarily it would know at s is, to my
mind, about as useful an object as
Calhoun Clay's watch.
That's a fine watch you've got
there, Calhoun said a friend. rs 1t
a good goer?'
"A good goer?' said Clay. Well.
you bet your life it's a good goer.
Why, it can do an hour in half the
time"
Franklin Miles Day, the architect,
desired to illustrate at the T-Square
Club in Philadelphia a piece of archi-
tectural ignorance.
why" he said, "ft was as bad as
the woman who listened to a lecture
on Cologne Cathedral, and, at the end,
shook the lecturers hand and said:
"'Oh, thank you, sir, for YOU i1lu-
minating remarks. I often wondered
where our colonial architecture came
from. Now, of course, 1 see that II
comes from Cologne"
A Dayton reporter, interviewing Will
bur Wright about his new stabfiizer,
complained:
"Mr. Wright, you are net much Of
a talker, are your"
"I tell you," Mr.. Wright replied, 81
never yet learned anything new by
hearing myself talk"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19
eUsTAIIyEE,
ABoUT MENy
(6U0IoM

The county prosecutors staff of de-
tectives gave q dinner to Chief Fred
Weimer at the Essex troop armory
the other night. and while there it was
decided it would be a good idea to test
the craftsmanship of the bunch on
the revolver range.
The scorekeeper was so busy dodg-
ing wild bullets that he had no chance
to keep an official score, but it is re-
ported that the team captained by De-
tective-Sergeant Walter Godfrey won
by five points. The score, five men on
each team, with 500 as the possible to
be attained was: Godfrey team, So;
Weimer team, 80.
And the shooting took place before
dinner at that.
For expert advice on how to catch
pigeons consult Captain Vogel, Lieu
tenant Koerber, Plainclothesman Cort,
Doorman Dietman and the reserves of
the Fourth precinct. Yesterday after
al the Fourth precinct a pigeon
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19
MEDDLLNG WITH MEXICAN DYNAMITE.

0TA o the average American mind nothing has occurred in Mexico.
Ii or is reasonably likely to occur, to justify our government in
interference with Mexican affairs. And the course of our
government is hard to understand. 1t has taken steps that indi-
Gated a purpose to intervene and then retreated. From Washing
ton have gone both friendly assurances and yelled threats. Presi.
dent Tafts last performance was a note. of warning to Madero.
which was met by a defiant reply, and President Taft thereupon
subsidies. a small and picturesque affair with Mexico would help
Tafts campaign chances, but there are risks. Mexico is full of
political dynamite, and the small affair would probably develop
into a great affair. But why not let Mexico alone to deal with
her troubles as Europe left us in our Civil War when European
interests were so seriously involved?
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19
AN OCEAN PERIL NOW TO BE CONQUERED.

Sa HE peril of the iceberg in the Atlantic remains about the
Ii same as u was some fifty years ago, when the steamer Rut-
ledge c0llided with one and carried down $50 people. Man has
done much to reduce the dangers of navigation. Lighthouses line
the coasts, the ocean has been charted, derelicts are searched for
ana destroyed, great improvements have been made in ships and
storm warnings and wireless telegraphy aid the mariner. But
every year from the frozen Arctic come a procession of great ice
bergs that drift into the lanes of navigation and no patrol of the
ocean mas been established to guard against this peril. The only
warnings that are received come from the captains of steamers
that have encountered and scented the bergs. The great shock of
the Titanic disaster will serve to awaken governments as well as
shlpbulldlng companies to a realization of the necessity for an
ocean patrol in seasons like this, as well, also, for a more southern
route for ocean liners.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19
FORMAL sTA7eMeAr OF TIE SURVIVORS.

TT HE statement drawn up by a committee of the Titanic sur.
Ii tYIvors is businesslike. With statistical exactness and con
eIseness it gives the main facts of the wreck. emitting av
description of the scenes that attended il: pays a tribute to the
kindness of the officers and crew and passengers of the Carpatha;
describes the equipment of the Titanic, prononnces it inadequate
Tor ite-SaVlng not only as to boats but also as TO officers and
trained seanien as we'll as searchights. The boats were not
equipped wifi food and wafer and other necessaries and there had
Deeh no ifebDat drills. \ recommendation is added for an inter
national conference with a view to identical laws governing the
safety OF life on ocean steamers. the United States to take the
initiative. That our government can do and also set an example.
AS a preliminary our national law should be amended at once to
compel the steamship COMPANIES to provide IA lifeboat seat for
every soul aboard.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19
WHEN THE WHOLE WORLD is KIN.

1o HERE is little else of interest to people today in two CONT
nents than the overwhelming disaster that has appalled, the
world and made mourning in so many households. Little
else fills the newspapers, for when an event like this occurs the
public wants every scrap of news and every detail. There is no
idle interest. The story of the wreck and the statements of the
survivors are followed with the keenest sympathy and with an
emotion that is beyond control. The whole world is kin in the
presence of ealamities like the San Francisco fire, the Messina
earthquake and the wreck of the Titanic.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19
JUST BY THE WAY.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.

Rev. Fourthleigh-Well, Johnny, I
notice that you were a nice, quite
little boy In Sunday school today. l
noticed 1t particularly and with great
pleasure.
Johnny-Yes, sir. Pa said if I'd act
decent in Sunday school 1 wouldn't
halter go to church.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19

I'll get even with you for this some
day!p sobbed little Willie after a very
painful interview with his father.
What will you d~o-thrash your
father when you grow up?"
''N-no, but I'll everlastingly whale
the stufhng out of your grandchildren"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19

escaped from a box behind the lieu
tenants desk, and for three-quarters
of an hour the chase, led by Captain
vogel, continued from the assembly
room to the courtroom, and SO on un-
til the capture.
Salter and Benz did not go fishing
yesterday owing to the adverse wealth
er conditions.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19
DINNER STORIES.

Logan M. Bullitt. discussing grating
in Philadelphia, said the other day:
"These people have a mixed moral
sense. They remind me Of little
girl.
"'oh, mamma she said. You'll
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19
oheerfulIy Answered.

provide for that"
C~heerfully Answered.
Where are the girls of yester-year?"
The poet sadly sings.
He notes that they have gone from
here.
And seems to think there's naught to
cheer
His heart from dreary things.
Where are the girls of yester-year?"
Let this our -orrowing sex cheer
With %paregoric, never fear.
And %spankings now the sweet things
rear.
The pretty girls of next year!
Love or jail?
Maybelle-No, dear. I won't marry
you until you come to me with 500, 600.
Bertrand-But suppose I get caught?
As a Rule.
Johnny-Pa, what is an affinity?
Pa-A person who later develops into
a correspondent.
Didn't Touch Him.
"They say the drinking water is
unsafe again"
IT don't care-I always use settler as
a chaser, anyhow"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19
Taft and the Armory.

Taft and the Armory.
To the Editor of the Evening Star:
: Sir-I read in Tuesday evenings
STAR an article entitled "Armory for
Taft, why not for Teddy RooseveltT
| would like to say that "Guardsman,'
the writer. of the article, has the right
idea. Respectfully,
vIRGINIUS D. MATTIA.
IS Summer avenue.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19

The STAR extends the privilege
of these columns to the public and
Invites signed communications of
not more than one hundred words
treating of topics of the hour.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19
No Idle Jest.
You Bet!
Well Named.

Had to Furnish Something.
We'll" said the wealthy Pa, "if you
must marry Lord Knottared, I suppose
I'd better consent gracefully. I'll fur
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19
Nerve Hacking.

Miss Tooter-Isn't 1t a dreadful SEN
sation to run over a man?
Mr.. Shuffer-Oh, l don't know. Not
nearly as dreadful a sensation as run
ming over a COW. and it doesn't injure
the machine as much, either.
No Idle Jest.
who, in your opinion, deserve the
title of ladies?".
Those who are not ashamed to be
known as women"
You Bet!
Harold-My pa writes PONIES for a
Twin. What does your pa do?
Observation-Disclosures my ma tells him
to do.
Well Named.
They call her a peach, and we'll 1t
may be,
For her lovely complexion apart,
Too high for me she hangs on the tree
And she has a stone for a heart!
Had to Furnish Something.
We'll" said the wealthy Pa, "if you
must marry Lord K~nottared, I suppose
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19

nish you clothes and expenses, and
as for the rest"
And as for the rest. Pa" interrupt
ed the daughter proudly. "the lord will
provide for that"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-04-19

Johnny-Pa, what is an affinity?
PA person who later develops into
a correspondent.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30
QUESTION OF PURE ENGLISH
Stlckler for Grammar Corrects His
Wife on Her carelessness and
10 Caught Himself.

MY dear. | wish you would speak
more carefully" said stickler for
pure English to his wife. You say
that Henry Jones came to this town
from Cleveland Don't you see that
1t would be better to say that he
came from Cleveland to this town."
Il don't see any difference in the
two expressions" rejoined the lady.
But there Is difference in the
two expressions-a rhetorical differ.
ence. You don't hear me make use OF
such awkward expressions. BY the
way. have letter from your father
in my pocket"
"Oh, dear. Is my father in your
pocket?" inquired the wife, you mean
that you have in your pocket letter
from my father
There you go with your little quib
bles! You take delight In harassinl
me; you are always taking up threat
and representing 1t as a rope"
Representing 1t to be rope. 20,
mean, dear?"
And then he grinned a sickly gril
and wished he had never started tn
discussion.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30
E0rhePT)
ONES e.
NEW GAME FOR JOLLY TIME
Enjoyed by Children Of Larger Growth
40 Well as by Little Folks-How
II Is Played.

Fruit basket is game which is en-.
toyed by the children of larger
growth" almost as well as by the lit.
tie folks. 1t is so mirth- provoking
that no one can take part without hav-
ing jolly time. The players seat
themselves In circle, with leader in
the center. who gives to every one the
name of fruit, also number and i'm
mediately counts also q number He
then calls out number and immedi-
ately counts 10 very rapidly. The per-
son who has the number must answer
with his fruit name before the leader
stops counting, II he does not do this
he has to give up his seat to the lead
er and take his place, otherwise the
leader continues with other numbers
until he catches some one. Every lit
tie while the leader shouts fruit bas-
| ket," which means all are to change
seats. The one who is left standing
takes the floor.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30
SORGHUM CROP ON DRY FARM
Use of Fresh Seed-loses Its VI.
tality Very Quick.
(By II. F. PATTERSON, Assistant Ag-
xnnnrIalst AIcaIatnr,a L.aL.asarir.aaaIat ST a.

(By H. F. PATTERSON, Assistant Ag-
ronomist. Montana Experiment Sta
toni
Two types of sorghum do well in
regions OF light precipitation. The
sweet or saccharine sorghum is per
haps grown more for its sugar con-
tent than for forage purposes, while
the nonsaccharine is known primarily
as fodder. Under the latter group
are milo maize and kafir corn.
The method Of preparing the seed
bed for sorghum does not differ ma
terially from that for corn. IL the
land is to be plowed in the spring 1t
must be turned over to depth Of
about six or seven inches The land
should then be disced and narrowed
once or twice, when the seed may
be sown.
II it Is desirable to secure a crop
OF seed. we usually drill the seed In
at the rate Of six to seven pounds per
acre. Some farmers seem to have
| secured better results by drilling
sorghum with the corn planter, plac.
ing the rows about three and a half
| feet apart and the seeds from four
to eight inches apart In the row. A
large amount Of seed is used when
the grain is broadcasted, and it Is
customary to put in about 10 pounds
per acre. This amount will vary
with the character of the soil and
season. II there is any danger o.
any Of the seeds rotting allowance
for this should be made and a larger
amount per acre put on; also II
some of the seeds do not terminate
1t will mean that more seed must
be used.
Sorghum ID not sown until quite
late in the season, or until the soil
has warmed up quite thoroughly. The
plant Is very tender, and II the sol
happens to be very wet and cold the
seed will not germinte. and the
young plant will not grow.
The best results have always beer
secured by the use of fresh seed. L
loses Its vitality very quickly. and 4
old seed is used, good results are no
always obtained.
II the sorghum Is drilled the sub
sequent care will be the same as tina
for corn, but II 1t is broadcasted 1
receives but little care until time fol
harvest. However, harvesting imme
diately after seeding and just as tn,
grass comes through the soil will
keep down weeds and also aid II
forming mulch which will help t.
conserve moisture
a forage crop Is to be secured
the grain should be cut before thu
full blooming period is reached an,
only one crop secured In a season
The crop, IL cut with binder. 1
handled In much the same way a
small grain. To secure a crop OF see,
, do not harvest until the grain 4
In the milk or hard dough stage. Tn,
plant is used almost exclusively I,
secure the crop OF seed. The bus
; dies are placed In shocks and Above,
to dry, when they are threshed will
the common threshing machine.
Is not customary to allow the entir,
: bundle to pass through the thresher
but to thrust the heads into the cyliu
der and then remove the other Dol
lions. This will not break up tn
} stalks, and as result some goo
q fodder may be secured.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30
JUMPING KANGAROO IS FUNNY
Latest Toy to Please Fancy Of Partisan
Boys and Girls Has No
Mechanical Motive Power.

A toy kangaroo which jumps when
placed on slightly inclined board,
table or other surface, but which ia
not provided with springs or mechani-
cal motive power of any kind, is the
lates toy to please the fancy of Pari.
sian boys and girls.
The motive power Of the interesting
toy Is derived through the construc-
ton of the hind legs and the arrange
ment Of the center Of gravity OF the
body. says the Popular Mechanics
When the toy rests on horizontal
board 1t Is supported by the tail and
the bends Of the hind legs, but when
the board is gently tipped the center
OF gravity OF the body changes, the
toy leans forward until only the low.
er part OF the kind legs are resting
on the board. Then the momentum OF
the body causes the kangaroo to make
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30
MUST KEEP STRAIGHT FACE
Indoor Pastims In Which No One 10
Allowed to Smile or Laugh Dur
Ing Progress Of Game.

This IL a game in which no one is
allowed to smile and laugh. All the
players. except one. sit in q row or
half-circle, one goes out of the room
and returns with . stick or poker In
his hand, and a grave and solemn
face. He is supposed to have just re-
turned from visit to Bun.
The first player asks him: Where
DO you come from?"
From Buff"
The next asks: Did he say any
thing to your"
To which the reply 10:
Buff said 'Baff"
And gave me this stan.
Telling me neither to smile or to
laugh.
Buff says BAR to you all his men,
And say BAR to you again.
And he neither laughs nor smiles,
In spite Of all your cunning wiles,
But carries his face with very good
grace,
and passes his staff to the very mex.
place."
II he can repeat all this without
laughing he delivers up his staff tc
some one else, and takes his seat;
but II he laughs, or even smiles. he
pays forfeit before giving it up.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30
Reading
Test
Would Keep
Out Many
Honest TOilers
By MICHAEL BROWN. New York

AN OPPOSED reading immigrants would
keep of this country millions of honest toer good useful
men and who deserve opportunity life and who have
been deprived of it through fault of their
eacy, the result of oppression, and
would appear Ameransm indeed close the doors
try which has maintained the high doctrine that the oppressed and
secuted peoples of all lands should find asylum here
Labor omna ync Men of than the
of brain the building of railroads ubway harbors Every
abeoded immigrant country nrhes by his honest
labor whether be factory trench digger On the other
hand American ideals rudey the who
all the intellectual qualifications devoid of that which far
esntre nobility of character such often find among
the ilitemte class.
Have the supporters Of and the agaos for the educational
considered that the marvellous growth this country prosperity
uneald the history the world due the liberal immigration
laws?
of best citizens have sprung parents who had they
required pass kind
excluded from the country Our democratic IDEAS together with the
educational opportunities afforded immigrants and their children do
them than all the educational the world could
ps system of public school education the second generations
perfectly assimlated What rather
the fact that the second generation like the
follow the of their fathers but
lighter This another favor of the
satisfied do the work which the native born 10th perform
The claim that because people lack the opportunities their
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30
GRADING Potatoes.

The grading Of potatoes 10 quite al
important as the grading Of fruits
Large and small tubers should not
be mixed In the same barrel. The
pickers should be taught to gather
the large and merchantable tubers
n one basket and the small ones In
another, and these II placed upon the
market should go in separate recep-
tacles and be clearly marked, 30 a.
10 represent the grade.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30
RIDDLES.

When are two apples alikef
When pared.
What Is 1t everybody wishes 70,
and tries to get rid Oft
A good appetite.
When may man call his wife
"honey?"
When she has a comb on her head
II your letter Ia too short what girl
will you ask for help?
Alkaline.
Why is a comet more like a dos
than the Dog star?
The comet has a tail and the Dof
star hasn't.
In what part Of church do they
ring the bellesf
At the altar.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30
PITY Abe Ut p.


They have a wise ten-year old boy
in an East End family ard ONE OF
his sayings are really worth peddling.
At least his father thinks they are. OF
he wouldn't tell this one.
The other day the youngster APP
preached the father and stared at him
for some time.
Daddy" he finally said, you think
mamma is the most beautiful person
YOU ever saw, don't you"
"Of course" replied the father. with
great promptness.
Again the boy scrutinized his
parent.
Gee, daddy" he finally said, "itl
an awful pity she cant say the same
about you, isn't it?"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30
Nsrf ~ 80 II
Man : = 49,
Had
Never
Seen
the Ocean
RvE r HaufruS c. 1 naHla M
BY E. c. Hawtsey. 81. Louis. No.

time and who knew the distinguished attorney better than remarked
presence stronger
had looked upon the salt
hat old dufer quoth friend mpy lied his motives
tell you why he has the tossing heard the At
nts roahe meaby stngy pay the railroad fare the
That's the sole and
there decide the bet I'd
that he'd take the first the seasoe somebody pay
the expenses of the trip"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30

country they therefore inferior to ourselves would
be most dangerous if accepted. 1t not only deals
death blow to liberty of which have boosted in the
past but is concession to decadent spirit ard to
Anticipated and bgoted ideas
President Eliot of Harvard properly declared that
the only questions which should be asked of immi
grant are, Is he healthy strong and DESTROYS of
ing good living? This, to my mind, is an express
sion of true Americanism. And, like Dr. Eliot be-
lieve that reading test should be applied when the
foreigner proposes to become citizen and not before
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30
Solution OF Puzzle.

the diagram 30 as to break up all
squares-that Is. leave as many match
es as possible, but have no absolute
ly perfect squares In the arrangement.
The accompanying diagram shows
how the removal Of nine matches
breaks up all squares.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30
Valuable Fertilizer.

The suds from the wash tub is
valuable fertilizer and no better
Use can be made of them than to
pour around newly planted trees or
Iprinkied over the lawn or grass
lots
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30
auuhtyI

What is the matter. dearest?" ask.
ed the mother of small girl who
had been discovered crying in the
hall
"Somefing awful's happened, moth.
er"
We'll, what is 1t. sweetheart"
MY d-doll-baby got away from me
and broked a plate In the pantry
Lippincott's.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30

DR.. Neff, director Of the department Of
health and charities, Philadelphia, has is
sued bulletin on the Importance of fresh
air. Pure air is as essential to the health
of human beings as food or water. Once
this sensible slogan could be gotten through
the mind of the public the sooner would
all have general good health.
Disease germs, states the bulletin,
abound in the dust-laden air Of poorly ven.
tilated rooms, cars, factories and public
meeting places. The antidote against
these disease germs is pun air and plenty
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30

ferent rectangles can you And in this
arrangement of forty matchesf
One hundred rectangles Of which
thirty we're perfect squares could be
found In the diagram Of forty matches.
Another interesting puzzle consists
In discovering the least number of
matches that may be removed from
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-30
Kangaroo Toy.

a Jump, bringing It back into its orig.
inal position on the tail and bends Of
the hind leg again. The shock re-
sulting from the completion Of the
Jump throws the body forward again
and the jump is repeated. and 80 on