The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-08-25
He IS SOME WRITER
# TRUTH IS TOLD
Mac Tells About His Pr0di-
gi0us Feats
STORY OF HIS LIFE
One He Wrote in Three Languages at
the Same Time and Got $500
for the Job at Monte
Carlo
From the New York Telegraph.

I
| Yes, I guess he's got class, has
Roosevelt" They had been talking
about the convention. and McGinnis
was lust serving a long-haired fiddler
of the opera house orchestra AT the
corner table of the Church sat Mac,
grating drinks off q Harlem horse doe
| tor
| "smart?" protested the fiddler. He
is beyond understanding, sir. Even II
| they did trim him in Chicago, it don't
matter. He'll get em when the votes
are counted next November Smart?
should say he is. And politics amt all
of it. He's a wonder at anything. Why.
when he was President he wrote a
whole message to Congress in one
night-something never done before.
Roosevelt-oh, he is"
There was whoop from the corner.
| ROOSEVELT exclaimed Mac, striding
over and thrustlng his big face at the
musician, Roosevelt Is bluffer!"
"Sir-r-rr shrilled the fiddler angrily.
| Il accept your apology" said Mac.
benevolently, dropping his beefy hand
on the fddler's shoulder so heavily
| that he swayed against the bar. II
can see you are gentleman. Let there
be no hard feelings between gentlemen.
| But" he demanded, pounding the bar
with his fist, did Teddy ever write
| three things at once? Did he, or didn't
he? Answer, yes or nor
The musician looked wildly at Nc
Ginnis.
"Of course he didn't" said Mac. But
l did"
inadvertently he tossed off the must
/ clans stein of beer.
| Tell you how 1t was. An 1t shows
what a manll do If he's pressed. Got
back from Monte Carlo one morning,
dead broke. Not a ducat; not rouble:
not a farthing. An I had invited a lot
| a society people to a house party. Nice
predicament. Ell?
Mac I says, you got to do some
| thing devilish quick So I called up
| all the publishers.
Same day I got three orders. one a
drama written In Portuguese; another
| was for a book on hydraulics. in Rus
sian: the third, history of the darker
side of Cleopatra, in Welsh Made up
my mind to do them all at once.
Now, boy" Mac generously compli-
mented the fiddler, you probably know
something of brain anatomy. Every
person has a right and left lobe. each
capable of thinking Independently of
the other. haven't they? But. fortu-
nately. in my case, I was born with
| three brain lobes instead of two.
We'll, / borrowed q photograph and
two typewriters. Now for that house
| party / said placed the photograph
| in front of me, one typewriter to my
right, the other to my left. l bought a
funnel and hired niger boy to keep a
| pot of coffee hot. then sat In front OF
| the monograph and between the type
writers and, got busy
with my left hand I pounded or the
! Cleopatra story In Welsh. I shouted
| the Russian hydraulics into the phono-
| graph, and with my right hand tapped
the Portuguese drama.
Hour after hour | plodded. When
I'd begin to get drowsy I'd hold my
head back. Niger boyd put the funnel
in my mouth while ! continued drum
ming the machines, pour down quart
of coffee an I'd start at the phono-
graph again, fresh as a daisy.
Never stopped for three nights an
three days Got $500 for the job and
give the house party before | went to
sleep"
Mac waddled over TO the free lunch
counter. No one spoke until Mike the
bartender sneered.
Its a wonder that guy like you.
| ats had so many experiences, wouldn't
write the story of his life"
Mac gave him a hard eye, and then,
| as he saw more drinks ordered, -four
ished a handful of rye bread and pig S
| feet, crowding them in his capacious
mouth.
II did" he retorted. gulping the pigs
| feet. Wrote 1t for an encyclop edia. A
| freight car full. Whiskers of Moses,
wasn't that young man surprised?
Mac let out a muffed roar of laugh
ter.
"slttin' In my office at the Waldorf
one morning." he related. when tap
come at the door
Mr. Mcdonald says a STRIPPING
youth, I'm from tn Encyclopedia Brit
annica americana. We would like you
to write the story of your life
" All right boy | says How many
words do you want?'
" Well, Mr.. Macdonald he says, we'd
like to have about million an haif.
When do you want 'em?' | asked
'Oh. says he. lin year or so. Any
tinell do. so long as we get en-
" There's a circus in town. isn't there!
1 asked him.
Yes he said I think there is; but
what's that got to do with it?'
Everything my boy told him, and
then took a peep at my watch, the same
that my dear old father carried at Bala-
klava.
Eighteen minutes past To- I said.
Give me till 2 O'Clock and TIE have you
the million an half words.
For heavens sake Mr.. Macdonald,
he velps don't make fun OF me. We must
have this, and I'll lose my job If don't
land it.
"Scon as the poor kid was gone. trem-
bling like a leaf went down to Ring
ling's circus in Brooklyn and borrowed
a net that friend Of mine used to jump
ia from the top of the tent.
brought It up to the Woolworth Build
ing and stretched il over the sidewalk
lust below. Then bought 30 pads OF
paper. some pens. pencils and blue crayon
to make corrections with. and went up to
the s0th story.
I'D often heard said Mac, dropping
into n colloauia tone. that when man
Is failing from a great height his whole
life passes before him in a second. So.
yrasping a pencil | leaped off the win
dow sill on the Goth story.
'.Going down / wrote million words,
and on the rebound from the net I wrote
half million more. Signed my name
James E. MacDonald-at 119. and turned
II in at :55.
He was" said Mac, fixing on firmly
his moth-eaten hat and siding toward the
door. the most surprised editor you ever
saw"