davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-03-23
Adventure and Risk Are the Por-
ton of Jack Tar Under Surface
of the Sea Nature Rebels
Against First Uncanny Dips.
Sensations Experienced by the
Novice.
RULES vERNEs fantastic vision

RULES vERNE'S fantastic vision
of a generation ago has become
a. commonplace experience to
Uncle Sans undersea Jack tars.
After $50 years of experimentation, the
expenditure of many millions of dol
lars, the loss of hundreds of lives and
the suffering of martyrs and pioneers
as grewsome as the horrors of the me
dieva1 chambers of torture the sub
marine now is recognized as an essen
dal craft. Germany, France, England,
Japan, the United States and other
nations are each equipped with a feet
Of these ironclad fish.
When England some time ago decid-
ed to give up the idea of calling sub
marines by the names of fish, distin-
tinguishing them with number and let
ter instead, a British nautical poet
broke forth in the following strain:
Only number. not even a name!
How shall posterity hear of my fame?
Perchance it may still live after the grave
In the name of an ironclad under the wave.
FISH NAMES DROPPED
This can now apply to the diving
vessels of the American navy. No
more fish names are to be given to the
submarines. The practice instituted
by Charles Bonaparte while secretary
of the navy is now held to be confus-
ing and useless. As rapidly as possible
the picturesque names hitherto used
by all these little fighting craft are
being painted out and numbers and
letters being substituted in their stead.
Here is how the changes are being
made:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-03-23
Sur. Enouah-

81 wonder why Solomon was consid-
cred the wisest man?'' asked Mr.. Meek
toms wife
Probably, my dear, because he had
so many wives to give him good ad-
vice-"-Washingto Star.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-03-23
The PsychoIoqicaI Moment.

Mr.. Flubdub-You women are mighty
slow. During the time it took you to
select that hat 1 went out and made
$500
Mrs Flubdub-I'm so glad, dear.
You'll need it--Puck-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-03-23
An Inherited Legacy.

Mrs GiEem-What makes you so
tired? Weary Willie-Heredity, mum.
Ne father was the original tired bust
ness man..Judge.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-03-23
ThankIessness

Mrs Peck-Really, we never know,
who our best friends are. Peck-That's
true There's the fellow 1 won you
away from He hasn't spoken to me
stnce.-Boston Transcript.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-03-23
.The Age of obedienee.

.Ill be awful glad when I am old
enough to do as please" said Sammy
to his father.
Poor boyr' replied the father
about as soon as you get to that age
you'll get married.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-03-23
Apprehension.

/ fear thy kisses. gentle maiden
fear thy mien. thy tone, thy motion
Methinks thine eyes are heavy laden
With thoughts about this leap year no
ton
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-03-23
Numbers Instead of Fishes
Names Adopted For Uncle
Sans Diving Demons-They
Have Been Fortunate In Point
of Accident, While Other Ma
tons Like Vessels Have Met
With Disaster.

of new whale we were, and he nosed
us as a dog might sniff at a stranger
to see if he could make friends with
him or not"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
READ HUCK FINN UNDER BED
Alabama Man Relates Difficulties He
Underwent to Absorb Mark
TwaIn's Well Known Book.

Crawford T. Run Of this city had an
experience while reading Mark
Twain's famous ''Huckleberry Finn"
which probably was never duplicated
by another admirer Of Clements.
1T must have been more than thirty
years ago." said Mr.. Run. in relating
the story to party Of friends, accord
Ing to the Montgomery Advertiser,
when I was small shaver. Only a
limited number of copies OF the book
appeared with the first edition. Only
one book came to the little town
where / lived. but 1t suf1iced for the
entire populace. The book went the
rounds, from neighbor to neighbor, and
finally landed in our home. was SO
absorbed in the first chapter that
wanted to finish 1t all before any one
else In the family started on it.
There was an old time bedstead in
our home. The headboard was two>or
three feet from the window. The COW
ering dropped to the floor on either
side, SO as to conceal me from view,
except from the rear. would crawl
under the bed with Huck Finn. face
downward, and with my head near the
end Of the bed 50 the light from the
window. enabled me to read. In this
way finished the book before any
body else In the house got 1t. /"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Count In Their Sleep.

~ - .. -
We are SO accustomed to doing Ger
tain things by force OF habit that we
hardly ever stop to consider what 9
part it plays In our affairs. For in
stance: In the larger cities profess
sional fire fighters sleep In the build
lngs where their fire engines and 9TH
er appliances are kept All night long
the FIRE gong may be ringing. denot-
Ing that blazes have sprung up IN
other parts OF the town, but only one
sort Of ring warns the firenen that
It is their time to be up and doing.
Through all the other clangings Of the
bell they sleep comfortably; yet as
soon as the number Of rings strike
that denotes that 9 IRE e raging n
their district the firemen instantly
arouse BY force Of habit While hall
asleep they almost leap into their
clothes and finally they rush to their
regular places on the engine. the
hose cart or the hook-and- ladder
truck. Often they do not get tho
oughly awake till they are IA the
street and racing toward the IRE. but
they have done right BY force q
habit. 81 Fl
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

on frame house. Hold the glass Sc
that you look through only one-half Of
the glass, as shown in the illustration
Now close the left eye and get the
opera glass focused on your lines
Holding your gaze steadily on these
lines open your left eye and move
the glass until you see the same lines
with both eyes at once. With a little
practice you will get them to over.
lap as If you were not looking through
the glass at all.
Count how many spaces you see
with your left eye in the single space
that you see with the eye that looks
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
DANGER PERIOD
OF W0MANS' LIFE
FROM As to SO
Interesting Experience Of Two
Women-Their Statements
Worth Reading.

Asheville; N -'tI suffered for wears
with female trouble while going through
the Change of Life. tried local ply
stefan for a couple of years without any
substantial benefit. Finally after re-
peated suggestions to try Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, quit my
physician and commenced using it with
the happiest results. / am today prac-
tically well woman and anxious to con-
tribute my mite towards inducing others
to try your great medicine, as am fully
persuaded that it will cure the ailments
from which / suffered if given fair
chance.
eff you think this letter will contrib
ute anything towards further introducing
your medicines to afflicted women who
are passing through this trying period,
it is with great pleasure consent to its
publication. - Mrs. JULIA A. MOORE,
II East ST., Asheville, N. C.
The Case Of Mrs. Kirlin.
Circleville, Ohio.-e'I can truthfully
say that never had anything do me so
much good during Change Of Life as Ly-
dia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
Before / had taken one half bottle
of it I began to feel better, and have
continued taking it. My health is better
than it has been for several years. If
all women would take it they would es-
cape untold pain and misery at this time
of life. p Mrs. ALICE KIRLN, 358 w.
Mill CT Circ1ovi1lo Ohio
The Change of Life is one of the most
critical periods of woman's existence.
Atsuch timeswomen may rely upon Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
A. He lJnderstood II.

The lofty. browed. scholarly man
who was officiating at the banquet
turned to the man sitting next to
him.
what is the next thing in the order
Of exercises?" he asked.
The other made a whispered re-
Spouse.
Please say that again: I didn't
quite catch it."
The answer was repeated.
Gentlemen" said the POSTMASTER,
rising, "the next thing will be an Irish
song by that prince of entertainers,
Mr.. Bocklish, entitled, 'Ha! Zenny
Bottle Leer Seen Kell Lee?"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Too Complicated.

"An expert in OSCILLATION has con.
tributed an article to a newspaper on
how to kiss girl"
WELL did you learn how?"
= mo. After / had reached the ninth
stage in the proceeding without the
kiss having been contaminated, / had
q brain storm and quit.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Mice In Queer Nest.

When an old gas main was being
taken out at Sunderland (Scotland)
recently, a mouse was seen to run out
at the end of the pipe. The pipe was
then broken up, and In the interior
was found nest containing six young
mice. How the animals could exist
In a pipe which had gas passing
through 1t Is regarded as remarkable.
but the fact that there was fracture
In the pipe may In some degree ex
plain the mystery.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
AVOID LIQUID BLUING.

The reason so many housewives
prefer RED CROSS BALL BLUE is
because it is all blue. Liquid blue
contains large percentage of water.
Why buy water when you have it by
the tub full?
Buying solid RED CROSS BALL
BLUE is real economy. Dissolve it
as you need it. A large four-oz. pack
age, all blue, for 1Oc. Used in thou
sands of homes. FOR SALE AT ALL
GROCERS.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Exasperatina.

Hold on minute, Whifits!"
Speak fast, old chap, I'm in a great
hurry"
Just moment"
Well, well. What is it?"
Are you aware of the fact that the
wife of the emperor of Germany calls
him 'Willy?'"
mo, confound your impertinence!
And don't care hang what she calls
him! You've made me miss my car"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

The German demand for apples and
nuts to hang on Christmas trees is al.
ways very great. The inland produc-
ton Of apples, even In a favorable
year, although large, Is far too small
for the demand, in spite of the fact
that thousands of acres of new trees
are planted each year. In order to
supply the inland market, large guam
titles of apples and nuts must be Inn
ported from abroad each year.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Apis.

It is difficult to believe what early
writer's tell us of the divine honors
lavished upon Apis, the sacred bull OF
Memphis, and upon Minevis, the sa-
cred OK of Heliopolis. Yet perhaps
some Of our customs of deeds of to-
day, as handed down by the uninitiat-
ed, may seem just as anonymously
absurd when heard and understood
from an equally proportionate future
time.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
One Of the Pioneers.

Isaac Pitman had invented his sys
tenn Of shorthand.
tits merely speaking by sound" he
explained: 'every little character has
a meaning all its own"
At later period Prof Br&er Ma
thuze and others tried to do the same
thing with long-hand and made an
egregiously absurd mess of it.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Peculiar ChInese lndu.trIes.

In Taochow there are some strange
Industries. One Is the raising of the
machi, sort Of large pheasant, the
tail feathers Of which are very valu-
able, as they are needed for the dress
hats OF mandarins. Timber is very
plentiful in this district and is sent
away by raft to all parts.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

Lawyers engaged to assist poor peo-
pie in New York who had been Ii the
clutches Of the "loan sharks" have
reported that their clients took an az
gregate Of $8,299.60 in loans. on which
they were to pay $3,744.71 in interest
in three months. The lawyers in most
cases were able to persuade the loan
companies to continue the loans at
the rate Of 6 per cent annually. The
loans had generally been obtained to
pay doctors bills or funeral expenses.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Near Enough.

A Chicago banker was debating q
letter to his stenographer. "Tell Mr..
So-and-So," he ordered, .'that / will
meet him in Schenectady"
How do you spell Schenectady 2"
asked the stenographer.
sc, S-c-er-er err Tell him
I'll meet him in Albany. "-Argonaut.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

First Suburbanite- I'm not going to
have a garden this year. had one
last summer and it kept me as thin as
a rail.
Second Suburbanite Worked too
hard at 1t, Ell?
First Suburbanite-No; I tried to
live on what raised in it.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Pioneer In Good Move.

In the middle Of the sixteenth GEN.
fury professor Of theology In Strass-
burg insisted upon having individual
communion cups, and during the
plague in 1854 his demand was en-
forced.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

At an examination Of nurses the
young lady was asked BY the physi-
clan: ''What would you do to cure
q cold in the head?"
She replied: Il would put my feet
in hot water till you were In profuse
perspiration. Catholic Standard and
Times.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

All He Had to DO With Il.
"And you actually consented to let
your wife run for Officer" Consented?
Certainly not. I acquiesced."
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Daily Thouuht.

Cali men should cultivate a fixed
and firm determination, and vow that
what they once undertake they will
| never give up"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
The Eye and Glass.

through the glass and that. will be the
magnifying power. In the illustration
1t is four times. Telescopes can be
tested in the same way, II held very
steady.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Cynic Well Answered.

A cynic once observed: 1T does not
matter whom you take as a bride, be-
cause you always find out next day
that you have married some one else. "
To which every happy husband will
confidently reply: 1T is better to love
the real woman you have married
than to marry the ideal girl you have
loved"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
TRY. MURINE Eye REMEpY

for Red, Weak, Weary, Watery Eyes
and Granulated Eyelids. Murine Doesn't
Smart Soothes Eye. Pain. Druggists
Sell Murine Eye Remedy, Liquid, Csc,
SOC, $1.00. Murine Eye Salve in
Aseptic Tubes, Csc, 800. Eye Books
and Eye Advice Free by Mail.
Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
| Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tablets
Druggists refund money if it fails to cure. E. W
GROVES signature Is on each box. 25c.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

Any good doctor viii tell you that medi.
cine like Ayers Cherry Pectoral cannot
do its best work il the bowels are con-
stipated. Ask your doctor il be knows
anything better than Ayers Pills for cor.
recting this sluggishness OF the liver.
Aads By the &c. AVER CO.. Lowell. NasA.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Tho One BIo Man.

Getting tangled up is the job OF
the 999, and untangling them is the
job of the other one in the 1000.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Hcnres While xou Wan.

Aliens Foot-Ease ID certain cure for hot
sweating, callus, and swollen, aching feet Sold
sb SIT T trial pscisee TRER scc x9d nns
Allen 8. Olmsted, LIE Roy. N. Y. -
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Promises,

A man usually wants the preacher
to furnish proof that what he prom
ises is going to come true, but he is
willing to take the glib promoters
word for It.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
PRAYER and Work.

II you do not wish for his kingdom.
don't pray for 1t, but II you do, you
must do more than pray. you must
work.-Ruskin.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
oh. Tell usl

When schools of aviation are found
ed will they award scholarships?-
Lippincott's.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Point for Consideration.

I'VE must consider, not what the
wise will think, but what. the foolish
will be sure to say."-Sir Arthur Helps.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
: Chinese Compilations.

Chlneoe CompIeXIonS.
The exquisite complexion Of the
young Chinese women Is due to the
great care which they give their skin.
Generally speaking. the result is due
o massage.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
hoods.
SarsapariIIa

Leads all other medicines in
the cure Of all spring ailments
humors, loss Of appetite, that
tired feeling, paleness and
nervousness. Take it.
Get It today in usual liquid form or
tablets called Sarsatabs. 100 Doses 81
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

Hamlins Wizard Oil is recommended by
many physicians. II is used in many pub
lie fna private hospitals. Why not keep
a bottle on hand in your own home?
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

Pink Eye" IL Epidemic in the Spring.
Try Murine Eye Remedy for Reliable Relief.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

PILES CURED IN TO II DAYS
Your drugHist viii refund money If PAZO ONT
MENT fails to cure any case Of Itching. Blind.
bleeding or Protruding Piles in to IA days. Soc.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Il Can BE Done.

you make 10000 marks a year az
aviator? And yet people say you can't
live on air. "-F1iegende Batter.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

Mothers will find Mrs. winslow's Soothing
Syrup the best remedy to use for their childrel
during tie teething period.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Fundamental Error.

Fundamental Error.
We suffer, In teaching, from the
means being exalted and the end for
gotten.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

United States Behind World.
OF all the nations the United States
alone allows the use of white phos-
phorus in making matches.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
6rx ne
DUNG
PEOPLE
TESTING THE OPERA GLASSES
Ingenious Manner o. settlino pl.nu4..
among Boys as to the
Magnlfying Power.

AT this time Of year. when people
80 70 Inc theater good deal. boys
OFTEN have disputes as to the magni.
Tying power Of the grownups' opera
glasses. Here is the way they are
tested.
FlcK out some object with a number
Of equally distant lines on It. like J
Dr1ck wall the Stats on a blind, the
rungs OF q ladder or the clapboards
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
WAS CAREFUL IN MARKETING
'e.ery Had Lost It, crIspness While
sAus'ou. Woman Was Making Up
Mind About Purchase.

Lady-Is this celery fresh,
Dealer Yes'm.
Real fresh?"
Yes'm..
Just in?"
SYes'm."
sTs it crisp?"
''Yes'm."
Are you sure It Is all right?.
Yes'm."
Where did you get it,"
From q market gardener. num-"
Today"
"Yes'm."
How much is it,"
Ten cents bunch"
Isn't that rather high?"
Not at this season"
I've got it here lately for less"
That was small and rather green"
Can you send it up?"
"Yes'm."
In time for dinner?"
"Oh, yes'm."
Just break of . piece and let me
try it."
"Yes'm. Here is some"
"H'm! It isn't nice at all. It's with
cred"
We'll, mum, it's a good while since
you asked if it was fresh"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

Most Akin to Love.
OF all the paths that lead to wom-
ans love, PHYS the straightest-
Beaumont and Fletcher.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

RecoanIzed His Limitation.
'But," her father objected, you
have never shown that you are capa
BILE Of supporting wife," "Oh." the
young man replied, III you want her tc
marry q widower I'll have to confess
that can't qualify"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
Coughs
and Colds

-. /. = "a.
You could not please Us BET
ter than to ask your doctor
about Aver Cherry Pectoral
for coughs, colds, Group. bron-
chitis. Thousands of families
always keep It in the house.
The approval Of their physi-
clan and the experience Of
many years have given them
great confidence in this
standard cough medicine.
Sold for seventy years.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29

cr,Mpc Seals. Stencils and Brass
pIRRFR SlAMro Signs. Celluloid, Buttons
1 asssec ss SCI SC Is e' Acme STAMP
and for ,S rEn4lpSt St., Tacoma, Wash.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-03-29
I'm rpFr EMPLOYMENT BUREAU

P(kIL''" onv kind Of help you want. male
M furnish you a az unskilled, farm, sawmill, log
Nsmse skilled s,e III labor. Call. write or
a. any mso Of any kind charged in this Office
No Tee, fses Main 1855. us Seos'd s.. P'rdaaa o.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1912-04-27
Grass Fire Gives a Scare.

A grass fire which was started on
the hill above I. S. Van valken-
burgh's barns, Thursday afternoon,
got away from the men in charge OF
the blaze, and burned over ten or a
dozen acres before it was headed off,
running along near the top of the
hill into the woods burning up few
of last years leaves on Carl Hatborn's
land. Help was summoned from the
village and several automobiles car
ried fre-fighters to the scene. The
FIRE was CONSPICUOUS from some
points, but not damaging, as the
ground is not dry and only grass-tops
and leaves were-scorched
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1912-04-27
EMMoNs.YouNG.

The Boston Transcript of Tuesday,
April %, has the following of local
interest
Miss Margaret Young, daughter of
Mrs. Benjamin Loring Young of e85
Beacon street, and William Bacon
Emmons of Woodstock. VT, were
married this noon at the home of the
brides mother The ceremony was
performed by Rev. Howard N. Brown
of Kings Chapel in the presence of
a small company comprising mem
bers of the\two families and few
close friends. The bride was given
in marriage by her mother. and she
wore gown of white satin and car
ried lilies of the valley. She was
unattended, and the bridegroom was
without best man. There were no
ushers, Mr.. and Mrs. Emmons will
make their home at Cloudland Farm,
Woodstock, Vt