Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-10-24

There are goin' to be a lot of pco-
pic disappointed in the outcome of the
election and it wouldn't be an election
If there wasn't.
One OF the things that are hard to
understand is that the tight skirts with
Only d yard of material in 'e1n cost
more than the old fashioned ones with
about 10 yards.
Anr: Higgins who is tired of life is
inventing Il new tangled %aeroplane.
IWo married couples passed through
Sunday on their way east. The reason
sc know they were married is because
inc men were in one rig and the wom-
en- in the other.
The usual nuinbe. of freak bets are
being recorded. MIR. Eli Higgins, h
astutc and enthusiastic bull moose who
win stand on his head on the tip of the
church stceplc for two hours and a
half if Taft 10 elected and in case
Roosevelt is elected Mr.. Samuel Pick
ems Will do n same thing. Lem Jor-
dan. who is a democrat, says IT is a
purity safe bet either way.
II amt so hard to be pleasant if Il
fciier has got an automobile. a steam
yacht and about nine million dollars.
When Il teller goes away and makes
a national reputation for himself in
his w particular line. it is always
consoling t. him To go back to the
old home town and have seven or
eight old tads ask him: Well; boy.
what We a-dcin' fer Il Twin now"
For a lazy .nan's job there amt
nothing that beats coloring a meer-
chauln pipe.
The Teller that never tried to raise
chlckens are always sorry they didn't
and the felle:s that did try are sorry
they did.
Our postmaster says bein' pustmast-
cr Is an expensive job. Every time
Uncle Ezra Harikins comes in fer q let
ter. which is every day. he eats a
pound of Goldfish and a handful of
crackers and q kelpin' OF cheese. I'm
Gle Ezra hasn't got a letter in nine
years.
A'nry Tibbs, our we'll known and
versatile inventor. has beer working
eight years on @ nonpuncturable pneu-
matte automobile tire. He expects to
nave the Invention ..cOnfAete. and on
the market before he dies. But he will
have to live to be an oc~togenarian.
Speakin' OF wheels, Miss Pansy Tib-
bits. who has been takin' a cookin'
school course. made four mince pies
the other day which were so hard that
her brother made Il gocart for the kid
and used the pies fer wheels.
l don't like cucumbers and I'm glad
Of it, for If I did like 'em. I'd be eatin'
EN- all the time and I late the burned
things.
Every time I see a woman kissin' a
u dog l get more respeck for one
that smokes u pipe or dips snuff.
1t is gradually gettin' so the bank
don't wear celluloid collars
red neckties like they used to.
Ihere is only one thing more danger
u fer a gal han marryin' IL Teller and
that is goin' out in one of them cranky
canoes with him.
Since the two conventions got mixed
up SO bad, Grandpa Bibbins SAYS he
KNOW W1n he's Far o~l IN r3on,A1
give q dang.
Miss Amy Pringle says that every
Ieiier who sends her a love letter writ
ten on a typewriter queers himself for
ever. so fur as she is concerned.
OYSTER POINTERS.
10 make enough oyster stew for the
average church social send to Balti-
more and get a large oyster-one of the
largest they have in stock. Hang the
oyster on a string in 10 gallons of milk
Snd boil the milk for 20 minutes. After
the personality of the oyster has per-
meated the milk SO that there is at
least a faint suspicion of it noticeable
70 me taste remove the oyster and
wrap 1t up in tin foil and keep it in
the ice box until next social.
RUBBER oysters. manufactured by
the rubber trust. are often used in
some Oh the restaurants. 1t always in
spires confidence in the diner to see
three or four of. these floating around |
on lhe top OF the stew. They are not
very expensive n may be used until
out. which generally takes eight
= nlne wears. There is some loss. of
as occasionally a ustome may /
swallow one
THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
some teiiers talk of the good old days /
n wish h they would come !
back.
The ancient DAYS of the ora.boss
shays, when there wasn't no
- ratlrOadstrack.
Iney Were short on wealth. but were |
long on health any they worked !
from morn till night.
Twas q strenyus game, when they
s,aked a claim n hustled with
al! tneiE might.
fer Dit to. eat in the way of meat |
heads
In the old log shacks full Of holes and
cracks. on their back-breakn' |
shake-dOwn beds.
Lei EN- sing the praise of the good
free,
But I'm hound to say that the pres
ont day Is quite good enough for
CAUGHT ON THE FLY.
Mr. Lnny II running for congress
Q 2 western district. He. should !
seel perfectly at home IL elected anu F
seated.
Nat Goodwin has SO far recovered
rom his accident that he will be able
20 marry several times more.
2 aAy . coal shortage d GER !
tain f0r thie winter. All, then, thin9s
ire Uoe6AeAlv 0NRnnal
2 men With false teeth should |
cheer un. The green corn 4 WIN