The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1912-07-16
'PROGRESSIVES"
IN CONVENTION"
University Club Changes Its
Name and Listens to George
R. Carter.
(From snndayls AdveItiser.l

1
For an hour or SO yesterday after
noon the conservative University Club
became the Universal Club, y and
staid and dignifed members trans.
formed themselves into bowling, cheer.
ing maniaes. Preliminary to the as
senbling of the members and guests,
for the nonce transformed into dele.
gates to, and spectators at, the conven.
tion of the Progressive party, the dis.
eordant strains of marching Through
Georgia " were heard in the street, and
rush to the veranda was made, from
which could be seen the band, consist.
ing of three husky musicians adorned
with bandanas, following which ad-
vanced a steam roller with stately and
ponderous approach.
Seated in a perilous and unsteady
position on the roller was a reckless
young man covered with a bull IS head,
representing the new party. Escorted
by portly gentleman, locally known
as "'Jimmie'7 Wilder, a somewhat
siekly elephant following the roller,
and both were frequently placed in i'm
minent danger by the rollers tendency
to back up on them. The portly gentle.
man wore on his arm huge bow of
crepe, and the elephant's tail tied in a
knot, also bore the symbol of mourn
ing.
Democrats Enter.
Then a gentleman representing the
! L 5.wNN /. n I
to right nor left, drove up in smart
equipage and alighted at the club en-
trance. His appearance was greeted
with prolonged cheers, which he ac-
knowletlged rather austerely. A WELL
known Democrat, with rooster EN-
blazoning his headpiece, rode with
grace ballSy mule which bore gar
ish poster reading, "The Democrat tic
Party Is Eager to Save the Country
Before the assembled crowd the stout
gentleman put the elephant through
his PAGES on the lawn, and concluded
the admirable performance by com
handing his pet to lie down and roll
over, which the elephant did after
some remonstrance.
The audience and the entire show,
except the steam roller and the burro,
after partalSing of Refreshments, the
president of the " Universal Club -
called the convention to order and
stated its purposes, as follows:
Letting Loose Party
"This convention of the Universal
Club is assembled for the purpose of
| letting loose a new party-a third
party in the political pasture. 1t is
expected that it will be content to lie
| whenever and wherever it chooses, and
as it promises to break in, it has been
decided and accepted that the proper
emblem of this progressive movement
be the bull.
| "The motto which has been adopted
| is Remember Bull Rum
Gin the absence of Mr.. Holstein,
the call for delegates was sent out by
a worthy and esteemed citizen, New
Jersey.
"The rules committee, hereinafter
called the Searchers of Pedigree, have
passed on the blue blood of all of the
| representatives here present with the
exception of Jack Atkinson, the Pun
loa rancher, and Joe Cooke, fisherman
from Makiki. These contested dele
gates are now up for sale.
| II ne highways auu means cOHullI-
tee has ruled that no transfers of
delegates shall take place at private
sale. Market quotations are free for
inspection, aud the twD contestants
must be seated by the highest bidder
in this open market.
AT this point "delegate" jumped
up, exclaiminq: "Mr. Cooper and
Chairman, l rise to a point of privilege
and to suggest that as it has been pub
licly stated that Mr.. Cooke has retired
from active politics and as Our Jack
has demonstrated his ability as the
greatest Republican equestrian and
balancer who has ever jumped from
one party to another, that both these
gentlemen be seated by reclamation.
prolonged cheers).
The president resumed: ga new
party having now been definitely and
finally organized, it is in order to put
in nomination leader. ] call on one
who, from his long service as a wise
and progressive jurist, searcher for
truth, and a suffragette supporter, to
place before you man who, in his
Judgment should lead this new party
not to the branding pen or slaughter
house, but to bull things through. /
take pleasure in calling on our worthy
Judge Wilder.
Resembled Gan Gaul."
Judge Wilder stated that when the
Territory was organized, the Demo
cratic party resembled all Ganl, in that