The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-06-20
BY ESTHER GRIFFIN WHITE.

Everybody knows how to act" now
adays.
If they don't all they have to do is
to consult those elegant journals of
morals and manners sent out monthly
from various metropolises in which it
is all set forth.
You can attend a luncheon in Po-
dunkville where there are as many diff
ferent kinds of forks and spoons as
you'll find at the Warldorf
And Phyllis knows exactly the time
10 permit chaste kiss upon the cheek
To say nothing of how to manage a
man though married.
1t is very wrong, of course, to do
many things.
But, on the other hand, 1t is very
right to do many others.
And always treat father we'll be-
100, to keep register of every I'M
docketed emotion and hand it to moth
er on Saturday night.
Young wives, of course, must know
how to order cheap cuts SO they will
really seem to be turkey on toast or
pate de foie gras.
It's so easy to fool man.
All you have to do is to roll it in
cracker crumbs, add a Whit of lemon
juice, stir we'll and put in a paper bag
Then He will say
my dear, how delicious-mother
hasn't got a patch on you. always
did love chicken pie"
THAT isn't chicken pie," murmurs
the beautiful young wife, dressed neat
ly but plainly and yet in a way ire
sistibly to remind him of the time he
kissed her under the old apple-tree.
well whatever it is, it's good,' he
says loyalty. 1T tastes like ambrosia
and honey all rolled into one-come
Either, darling, so we can hold hands
the while l masticate."
With which the beautiful young
wife, clad neatly but simply, rushes
round the table and plays leading
role in matrimonial tableau
Just then the lilac spotlight burned.
And the clock scored heavily for
marriage.
What really happened was probably
this
What in thunder is this d-er-con-
founded mess" says Jack pushing the
plate rudely against the sugar-bowl
"Its-its-a recipe-I got out of the
Morning Buffer" murmurs the voting
wife hot and disheveled
at tastes like you finished it out of
the garbage pail" says M'sieu Brute.
They always told me it would be
this way quivered the beautiful
young wife beginning to cry
who's 'they?'" returns the Brute,
"and what way"
'All of 'em. They said the minute
They said"
81 don't care blankety blank what
they said or who said it. Stop crying
1t makes your nose red. hate a wom-
AT with a red nose
With which he rises and filings out
the door,
"Oh, where are you going?" she
cries despairingly. "Oh, he is going to
Kill himself"
Don't worry" says M'sieu the Brute
sticking his head through the door,
I'm just going down town to get a
good square meal-maybe it'll kill me
to eat it-so long since 1 had one"
Don't you think you are too reals
tic?" asked the cynic.
Certainly not" said Sal. I'm writ
ing this for young graduates and l
want to rub it in. I want to show 'em
what fate awaits them when the
sridiron hero gets down to brass tacks
I want them to see that we'll cooked
beefsteak goes farther than beautiful
ly embroidered doilies under each
plate"
why don't you get up something
original" said the cynic. you car
read that on women's pages any day
in the week"
well, anyway. you can't deny we
elected our woman sweetly smiled
Sal.
There was never any doubt of the
outcome in my mind when l heard you
had entered the fray" deployed the
cynic.
us that a complimenut?" inquired
Sal
Its anything you like" replied the
cynic.
And now" said Sal, coming DER a
monthly magazine, they are telling
the young girl how to act when she is
a guest"