New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-12-13
LEGISLATORS FAIL TO
SETTLE GREAT QUESTION
suueriority of BoWIegS or
KnoCk-KneeS Remains Moot
Question in Washington.
REFEREE FAILS TO DECIDE
Alleged German Gable Dispatch
Saves Hammond - Sulzer,
Penrose, Gore and Stan
ley the Debaters.
- - TrLhnno Rnreau. J

FROM Tho Tribune Bureau
washington, Dec. l2-Despite the wealth
-, erudltion brought by Governor-elect
S,,,sr Senator Boies Peurose, Senator
cors and Representative Stanley to Dear
=, the manifest'y abstruse question Re
lived That lowlcgs are "a greater men,
"a n navigation than knockknees,"
rotn HAYS Hammond. referee for the Ma
.,o,oi Press Club. before which the de-
ta,a was conducted, sought ignominious
-ot,eo in an alleged German cable dis
,stcb and refused TO render a decision.
Ignoring the brilliancy of the oratory
,sroted to both sides Of this mOmentous
question. Mr. Hammond availed himself
81 the favorite plea Of his friend Samuel
rntermyer. and declared that all the ar
currents had been absolutely irrelevant,
,,competent and immaterial." 1t was
oplv when indignant clamor threatened to
degenerate into personal violence that Mr..
Hammond betlought himself of the 81
i.gad cable message which. he declared,
ssttled the question tor all time. This
subtle refuge. ne announced was adj
dressed TO the National rress club. It
read as follows:
After the most exhaustive and conclu-
siye test made ON bOW-lcGged ana knock
frsed anthroreidai apes. international.
congress oI navigation has unanimously
-esolved that neither bOW-legS nor knock
knees I'm either sex of the genus hoiho
are to be reGardee as the slrgmeSt menace
TO navigation. -9nt heyerthe!fSSS;; l L'',.I
esthetical considerations, especially nav
jng regard 10 he erection OF modern SKY
scraners situation demands enforcement
Of laws governing the department OF
eugenics and relating 20 boW-less. ana
kuOck-knecS.
Governor-Elctt sulzer opened the de-
bate with Characteristic modesty, devoting
,bree-fourths OF his allotted time TO a de-.
scrption Of his personal architecture
which he declared TO be neither knock
kneed nor bow-lesged but perfectly
adapted to every requirement Of both
East Side ana Empire state political navi-
cation As bearing on the subject at
issue. however. he asserted that "one Of
the things I know is that women arc
more partial TO knock-kneed than to
hov-legeed men" He contended that
While the hest efforts Of the medical pro-
fesson had been devoted To the cure OF
corns. consumption and bow-legs, no one
Of standing in the profession had ever
regarded knock-knees as q sufficient
blemish to warrant medical attention. In
conclusion he asserted that the most cele-
brated men in history had been knock
kneed and cited in evidence Moses, the
law-giyer;. Socrates. the philosopher. and
~. ec1Ggev
Penrose Opens for Opposition.
Senator Penrose, opening the argument
for the opposition, offered TO prove from
the records Of the divorce courts that no
bow-legged man had ever been sued for
divorce in either Washington or Reno,
whereas the records show that an over
whelming percentage Of the defendants
and plaintiffs Of such courts were knock
kneed lie insisted that knock-knees,
IKE the thyroid gland and the vermiform
appendix. were wholly superfuous, and he
related the result Of a straw vote which
he took recently on a train between
and Philadelphia. Il found,
he said. '175 votes in the negative and As
votes in the Affirmative. and three per-
sons who said they were still for Roose-
Welt If he ever ran again As clincher,
Mr.. Penrose pointed to the Colossus OF
Rhodes. between whose legs, he declared,
the legions could never have passed had
he been knock kneed.
Representative Stanley began BY show
Ing tho white feather He informed the
assembled multitude that zone hundred
years after it IS definitely determined who
hit Billy Patterson. when we know Ann $
age to the minute, we win stu be won
dering which IS the greater menace TO
navigation. knock-knees on bow-less.'
He asserted that knock-knees were
the symbol Of the immaculate,
the incontinent attitude OF the conscien-
tious, consciously virtuous." He said fur-
Their that II is the knock-kneed that you
find In the home. II is the knock-kneed
that are tied by the tender bonds OF mat
rlmony. and It is the worthless hunks on
the outside whose legs are In perpetual
psrentheses."
As a-elincher he appealed TO the mas :er-
pieces of Raphael and dehed his oppo-
nents 10 point Us a single Work OF art
0EUlGlfu a
Senator Gore contended that, although
the fathers of the Republic had FOUND II
easy TO formulate constitution embody-
ing a series Of compromises between the
larger and the smaller states, between
representation and taxation, ana between
slavery and free men, even there IN the
amplitude Of their ability they had not
dared 10 tackle 50 Inornentous problem
as that which he and his colleagues were
called on to settle He followed his pro
logue with a proposition perilously near
straddle when he asserted that DOW
legs and knock-knees were OF equal Cd
struction to navigation, that when DOW
legged man crossed his legs he was knock
kneed and when a knock-kneed man
crossed his legs he was bow-legged. he-
spending to the ralying cries or his sup
porters. however ne told Of a race between
bow-legged man and a knock-kneeu
man. in which the former was victorious
He tainted Representatives STANLEY an"
sulzer with the fact that never durirs
their legislative career had they attempt
ed TO correct by legislation the menace
which they claimed bow-legs constituted
TO navigation,
He said, IN conclusion:
challenge denial If Governor suizer'
Jim" Cox or Congressman Stanley IN a
single speech In the remotest preclnctss
In their respective states had ever told
an intelligent audience that bow-iegs
Esre greater menace 20 navlgatloh 'il S
4nock- knees they would have been de-
Ieated by an overwhelming majority.
Not only that. but I make this prediction
DOW, that when Governor SuIzer delivers
MS inaugural address accepting his COM
mission Goyarpcr. Of fhe immortal state