davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25
VALUABLE MAN TO EMPLOYERS
Philadelphia Worker Ciinched His JOB
by Inventins Most Ingenious
Excuse.

Several mornings ago young West
philadelphia man entered the Office III
which he was employed as clerk with
tagging steps and look on his lace
that Convinced his austere employer
that the young man was burning the
candle at both ends. Later in the
morning he summoned the dissipated
looking young fellow into his private
ONCE and, because he had known his
father, proceeded to administer a lee
ture on the foolshness Of hearkening
10 the lure of the flesh
But, sir, never drink nor smoke,
neither do ! gamble or indulge In any
other sort Of dissipation declared the
young man YEARLY.
ut is useless to try and deceive me-"
said the employer severely. Il can see
that you had no sleep last night, you
look as though you had been drawn
through knothole."
The reply nearly knocked the en-
ployer from his chair. Did you ever
sleep in your cellar? Well, did last
night. | attended meeting of the Y.
NJ. c. A. and, arriving home late, found
my wife in bed. AS customary, | went
downstairs and fixed the fire, closing
the cellar door behind me to avoid
drafts When | came upstairs again
! grasped the knob and when it stuck
! gave it a heavy jerk. II came off in
my hand | tried every way | could to
open that door. | pushed 1t, | ratified
1t. but yithout result. | was In the
ridiculous position of being locked in
my own cellar. Desperately | pound
ed on the door, but my wife is sound
sleeper and she had her bedroom door
closed and locked. After an hour
spent in making the most unearthly
noises | gave it up | tried t. find a
warm place to sleep, but sleep was
out Of the question, and | spent the
might walking the cellar floor My
wife released me half an hour before
i came INTO the office, and guess that
accounts for my condition and appear
ance.''
The employer swung around in his
chair. Young man, that may not be
true, but man who can get away with
story like that is too valuable a man
TO lose. Take the day off, your salary
Is increased S. a week"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25
CHAPTER XXI.
PRETENDING Reality.


The chain-gang had been working
in the street not far from Miss Mi
nerva's house, and Lima, Frances, Eilly
and Jimmy had hung on her front
fence for an hour, watching them with
eager interest. The negroes were
chained together in pairs. and guard
ed by two, big. burly white men.
Lets us play chain-gang," suggest
ed Jimmy.
Where We goin to git a chain"
queried Billy; ct won't be no fun
'thout lock an chain
Sarah James cabin"
"Yo' mama don't low you to go to
her cabin" said Billy.
my mama don't care IL just BORA
lock and chain; so m going to get
it,"
81 m going to be the perlice of the
gang" said Frances.
"Perlice nothing. You all time talk
ing bout you going to be perlice,"
scoffed Jimmy. Il m going to be the
perlice myself"
NO you are not" interposed Lima.
firmly. BILLY and | are the tallest and
We are going to be the guards, and
you and Frances must be the prison.
ers."
We'll, I amt going to play 'thout
can be the boss of the niggers. 1t 8
Sarah James chain and she s my
mamas cook, and I'm going to be what
| please"
Il II tell you what do was Billy's
suggestion, well take it turn about:
me an Lima II first be the perlice an
y all be the changing, an then we
II be the niggers an y all be the
bosses"
This arrangement was satisfactory.
so the younger boy climbed the fence
and soon returned with a short chain
and paddock
Billy chained Jimmy and Frances to-
gether by two round fat ankles and
put the key to the lock in his pocket.
1--WE must decide what crimes they
have committed" said Lima
Frances done got rested fer shoot
in craps an Jimmy done got rested
fer sturbin' public worship" said the
other boss
(TO BE CONTINUED)
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25

Can't no woman at all 'cepting my
mama and Miss Cecilia kiss me. But
Leon Is bout the kissingest kid they
is; why, he'd just as soon 8 not let
Frances and Lima kiss him; he AIM
got no better sense Course | gotta
let Miss Cecilia kiss me cause she's
bout the plumpest Sunday school
teacher they is and the Bible say If
your Sunday school teacher kiss you
on one cheek turn the other cheek and
let her kiss you on that, too and
all time bound to do what the Bible
say. You d better call him back,
Frances, and kiss him, you and Lima
re so stuck on him."
II would mt kiss him to save his
life," declared Frances; 'he s got the
spindliest legs | ever saw"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25

teal Where they can be found In
what approaches alignment. so that
the line will not have to zlgzag too
much, the sahuara up in the eanons
through which the line Will pass are
to be utilized for the purpose OF at
taching brackets to which the wires
VIII be fastened And 50 the secret is
out.
Along the proposed line II Is diff
cult TO set poles, owing to the rocky
nature OF the country traversed Not
ony Is his the case, but II is dim
cult to get the poles up there In the
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25
Cacti for Telephone Poles

The government is TO build n teie.
phone system for the forestry serv
Ice OF the Coronado forest reserve.
The first OF these lines TO be built
out OF Tucson liz TO be used into the
catalinas, and 1t ia there that the
sahuara experiment ia to be tried.
The giant cacti win not be sawed
on and set up nor viii they be trans
planted, but the growing plant will be
used Az a pole where II In found prac
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25

Potatoes are pretty high, but moth
ing Ike In Auchtermuchty, where
some fine ones sold for s. apiece But
the flesh Of these fine ones when cook.
ed IL almost as white as Hungarian
flour. And then these potatoes are
not to be eaten. but are saved for
seed, single ones being picked out
from hundreds of thousands New
York Press
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25
OF Course.

Why do you scorn that young
mani"
Because he talks only OF love in a
cottage
Well, what's the matter with that
lie has the right idea. What you save
on the house you can put into the au.
tomOble.'
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25
Scheme for n Government Line Ir
Arizona Desert Which is Be.
ieved to Be Feasible.

Sahuara for telephone and tele.
graph poles is the latest idea and one
that IL TO be tried ont. II sounds
plausible and II Is believed that Il
gill be more economical than the old
lie OF po'es It's test Is 10 come
nm Arizona
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25

different parts OF the body and the
slightest movements are distinguish
able at 81 meters. The limbs show at
1S2 meters. At $40 meters a moving
man appears only as an indistinct
form. and at 720 meters, 2.36l.6 feet.
the movements of the body are no
longer visible
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25

hills to set. while the sahuaras are
right there in many instances. and
while not at uniform distance this
Is not considered important An.
other saving will be that while the
ready made ones. these will be OF
long life and will not demand replen-
ishing and replacing from time Il
time
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25
Color Contrasts.


She ttartly) congratulate
yourself that everything is going to
be lovely when you reform.
He (startled) Why not?
She-Because rosy futures don't 60
with purple pasts.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25
Elastic

The Lady-How much milk does the
old COW give day, Tom
Tom About eight quarts. maam.
The Lady--And how much Of that do
you sell?
Tom-About II quarts. ma am Tho
sketch
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25
Some Objection,

Does your wife object when you
stay. out lae nj night"
"she couldn't file more objections
my dear sir II she were corporation
lawyer"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25
Defined.

Knicker-What is hand laundry
Boeker-One that cuffs the collars
and collars the cuffs.--H arpers Ba-
gar.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25

''o'set, Y all gotta go right 10 al 3
nhamas an MISS Minerva dis very min
ute ! low dey II settle yo hashes
Don'' y all know dat Larroes ketch
mcdCIeIso"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25

The Range OF vision.
Data have been gathered In Ger
many with reference TO the distance
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1912-04-25
OYSTERS Are Nervous,

Ees are not nearly so easily fright
ened as oysters Oysters are SO ner.
vous that crash OF thunder will xii
hundreds OF them
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-07-05
Our Smallest Library.

A curious little building is situated
at Pinebluff, North Carolina, and is be-
lieved to be the smallest public lib
rary in the world. Pinebluff is only
small place, with population OF
fewer than one hundred in summer,
and when the ladies of the village de.
cided that they ought to have public
library they found themselves with.
out a building suitable for the pur.
pose. Finally, a gentleman offered
them band-stand which he had built
in the hope that Pinebluff would soon
become a city, and the offer was &C.
cepted with thanks. BY giving enter.
tainments and so on, the ladies were
able to raise funds to purchase materf.
ais to fill in the openings of the band
stand, and generally fit it up into a
snug little building. Over 500 books
have been given and the tiny library,
of which Pinebluff is very proud, is
now in full working order.-From the
June Wide World.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-07-05
The Cat Of st. PauI's.

st. Paul's chapel and churchyard, at
Broadway and Fulton streets, New
York, have a variety of utilities. Be
sides being show place Of historic
interest to the stranger, they give rest
and soothing at the noon hour to many
weary worker in the big buildings
which surround them. Not the least
of their usefulness, however, in the
opinion of certain majestic Thomas
cat, is that they afford place wherein
he may disport himself. He is an or.
namental being Of rich, golden hue,
and he is by no means unaware of his
beauty. With stately grace he stalks
about the premises, as one who Is re,
sponsible for their proper upkeep, and
gazes haughtily at mere human intru
ders. When satisfied they are sufh
GENTLY cowed to attempt no damage
to his estate he mounts a timeworn
sarcophagus and curls himself up fol
his afternoon nap. His yellow coat
snuggled in nest Of winding Ivy
fairly illumines the greenery and
against the memorial slabs he presents
the combination Of gray and gold OF
which French couturieres are SO fond
The verger says Thomas belongs to
some tenant in one Of the big office
buildings, but he is regular habitue
of the churchyard.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-07-05
Looking for a Grievance.

There is nothing quite SO easy to
find as grievance. It can be made
to order In seconds time. no mate
rial other than the imagination being
necessary.
BY being on the watch for insults
and injuries one has little time for the
sweet enjoyments of life.
Plenty of work is the best remedy
for sensitive NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. and
self-control- Differentiation and will
Half of ones griefs are only imagin'
airy. Have you ever wished you might
have returned to you the precious
hours spent in suffering over moth.
ing?
We all need work. We all need rest.
But above all we need the proper light
of understanding that keeps us clear
from the pits of argument. the swamps
of morbidness, the stumbling blocks OF
worry and grief.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-07-05
NATIONAL BUREAU OF HEALTH
General Federation Of Women's Clubs
Will Urge Measure.

San Francisco-Three big topics
will be the main themes of discussion
at the session of the General Fedora.
ton of Women's Clubs, which meets
in convention here. These subjects
are "the Ovens bill to create ma
tional bureau of health, measure
now before congress, the suffrage
question and uniform marriage and
divorce laws.
The first named has met with siren
uous opposition from certain schools
of medicine and from the League OF
American Freedom. There is promise
of warm debate on all three topics.
Mrs. Sarah Platt Decker, of Colorado,
probably will lead the fight in behalf
of woman suffrage.
At meeting Wednesday OF
the board of directors it was decided
to recommend that the General FEEDER
alton Bulletin, published in Troy, N.
Y, under the editorship of Mrs. Har-
riett Bishop Waters, be continued as
the official organ of the organization.
The contest for the presidency OF
the federation is waxing warm and he
patisans of Mrs. Phillip Carpenter, OF
New York, and Mrs. Percy V. Penny
packer, of Texas, are campaigning ac-
lively for their respective candidates.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-07-05
nah,ke for MRuhherers.n

Down in Fowler, Kan, few nights
ago an evangelist who was conducting
meetings became very much exaspefat'
cd by reason of folks coming In late
and because the congregation turned
around to look whenever there was
new advent. On this special night q
man came in late and every one turned
and stared.
Then the evangelist told story: "A
few years ago was out on the prairlea
riding my bronc, and as / passed q
prairie dogs den saw the funniest
looking thing with such big, starry eyes
that | got down to investigate. De.
gan walking around that hole and as J
walked that owls eyes kept fixed on
me but his body remained stationary.
inst kept on walking, the eyes Kept
fixed and the body remained station.
ary until, would you believe It, after
had walked around three or 1oui
times that owls head dropped on.
"Some Of these nights" the propne'
mora1ized. you folks will be looking
under the seats for your heads.-kan
sas City Star.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-07-05

lana, Mexico and Central America are
prospecting.
Alligators have to be fed on meat,
but they need no food from September
to May !, for this Is their hibernat-
ing season. when they do not eat at
all.
Alligator skins are used for making
bags, suit cases, purses, belts, cushion
covers, ETC., and their teeth and bones
are made into cuff links, paper knives.
whistles and many forms OF cheap
jewelry and ornaments. The skins
are worth from SO cents to So apiece,
according to size and quality.
More money, however, is made by
selling live baby alligators to muse
ums and for pets. It is said that the
state of Florida receives more than a
million dollars a year from its alliga'
tors.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-07-05
FIRST BALLOT GOES TO
SPEAKER CHAMP CLARK

Baltimore, June 28.-The unofficial
result of the first ballot in the Demo
cratic National convention was: Sui
ger Of New York 2, Clark 44Oa, Will
son S24, Underwood 117a, Harmon 148,
Marshall 81, Baldwin 20, Bryan /.
Absent 2. Necessary for choice, 728.
Baltimore, June 28.-At 6 o'clock
this morning the Democratic National
convention was still listening to nomi-
mating and seconding speeches for
presidential candidates. Messrs. I'm
derwood, Clark, Wilson, Harmon,
Baldwin of Connecticut and Governor
Marshall, of Indiana, had been placed
before the convention and only second
ing speeches remained to be heard be-
fore the first ballot was taken.
The convention had been in session
since 8 O'Clock last night. The dele
gates were many of them asleep in
their seats, the galleries were all but
empty, the policemen were red-eyed
and weary, but the flood of oratory
went on.
Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire,
New Mexico; New York and North
Carolina sat silent as the states were
called. S. ]. Doyle, of North Dakota,
read a letter from Governor John
Burke, of that state, releasing the
delegates instructed for him and ask
ing that his name be not presented to
the convention.
The delegation, Doyle said, would
cast its votes for the man thought to
be representing the progressive Demo-
cracy. That man was Woodrow Will
son. The announcement called out a
cheer from the Wilson followers.
Ohio was called at 5 AS a. M, and
M. A. Daugherty stepped to the front
of the stage to nominate Governor
Judson Harmon, of Ohio.
Mr.. Daugherty concluded at a. m.
The Harmon forces made no attempt
at a demonstration.
Senator Gore, of Oklahoma, second
ed the nomination of Woodrow Will
son. Nominating speeches were closed
and the first ballot for president was
begun at SAB am.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-07-05

tramps In America and that one-half
to three-Quarters of the trespassers
upon railway tracks are Migrants Mr..
Whiting characterizes as absolutely
unreliable.
The following figures are based
upon his analysis of the reports of &C
cidents resulting In the deaths OF
1000 trespassers. OF these 1000, 4S9
lived near the place of accident, 321
lived at distance and the residence
Of the balance, 100, was unknown. OF
these 1000, 273 left widows and chill
dren, 33 were widowers, 376 single
and of 318 the family was unknown,
$50 were living with their families.
301 were not and $50 could not be
classified.
Further, of these 1000, 598 were
self-supporting, los were not and no
information was obtainable about 297.
The actual occupation of 615 was
known
By eliminating those whose known
occupation, family, home, age, sex
and so on made it certain that they
were not tramps, Mr.. Whiting Is able
to assert positively that 764 were not
hoboes, but plain trespassers, that SO
were hoboes and that the status OF
1856 was Understandable.
From all Of which he deduces that
the number of tramps in the country
has been greatly overestimated.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-07-05

gathered in by the police and lined
up at the town hall at one end of this
street. At the other end stands po-
liceman. Then at a pistol shot the
tramps race away for liberty.
All but the last man are allowed to
keep on running as far as they will
SO long as it is away from town. The
last man is seized by the policeman
and set to work on the roads.
With feet winged by fear Of work
on the roads the tramps pun and blow
their hardest and arrive at the termi-
nus with aching sides and jaws. out
of breath, and ready, but for fear Of
a second capture, to drop in their
tracks and rest indefinitely. It is said
that no one of them has yet cared to
repeat the experience.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-07-05
Mothers Only Chance.

John, the twelve-year-old son Of a
widely known corporation lawyer OF
KANSAS City whose public life often
OAnss his picture in the daily press,
saused his father much amusement
alo pride when he returned home from
SCHOOL the other night. Running to
us father the boy pointed to a picture
VI himself printed in the daily paper.
"a l guess I can get my picture
~ the paper, too,' the boy proudly
s8,u' I won the first prize in the
school debate"
Inc boys mother came up and
mSusnlngly said: We'll, 1 do not think
t tnS' IS fair. Your papa has his pic
t4ie IN the paper so many times, and
e you begin. What can I do to get
picture published?"f
.. ine boy pondered a moment and
a ,Lel said: We'll, mama, 1 guess you
o s.ll nave to start taking patent medi-
hue. You can get your picture in
4e paper then"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-07-05
FoRcIHLE FEEDING Anglers.
Socialists Assail Asquith for Treat.
ment Of Suffragettes.

Socialists Assail Asquith for Treat
ment Of Suffragettes.
London Intense enlightenment has
been engendered in England by the
forcible feeding of the imprisoned
suffragettes, who declared a hunger
strike while in Jail. This was reflect
ed in an extraordinary scene in the
house Of commons, when George Land
bury. Socialist member, denounced
Premier Asquith and the government
in such vitriolic terms that the speak
er ordered him to leave the house and
threatened to have him elected unless
ne went out voluntarily.
Timothy Healey, the Nationalist,
had appealed to Premier Asquith to
release the women and the premier re-
piled that they could leave prison on
giving promise not to repeat their
offense.
Mr.. Landbury Immediately project
ed himself at the treasury bench.
shaking his fist in the faces of Pre-
mier Asquith and the other ministers.
With his face only few inches from
that of Mr.. Asquith, Mr.. Landbury
screamed:
You're beneath contempt. You
know that the women cannot give such
an undertaking. It is dishonorable to
ask them to do so. Talk of Russian
atrocities! Why, you will go down in
history as the torturers and murderers
of innocent women: You ought to be
driven out of office!''
The house was quickly in disorder.
The speaker, however, finally secured
quiet and ordered Mr.. Landbury to
leave. He replied:
"I'm going out while these con-
temptible things are torturing and
numbering women
He yelled this out in a loud voice
and appeared to be much overweight,
but when the speaker warned him that
AO "OuA0 VIC AOAS1OAy CJCSCCA OAAOoo AO
went of his own accord, the labor
members gathered about their col
league and induced him to quit.
Three suffragettes nearly succeeded
in invading the house of commons.
They obtained admission to st. Steph-
ems Hall, where they smashed the
glass panels of the door leading to the
central hall, when they were seized by
police and taken to the station house.
The militant tactics of the suffra-
gettes has assumed new form. On
the arrival of train from Tunbridge
Wells at Victoria station, in London,
it was discovered that many windows
had been smashed, carriage fittings
and cushions cut and destroyed and the
walls plastered with written demands
for votes for women and the abolition
of forcible feeding. The culprits
were not discovered.
Another batch of suffragettes who
had been on hunger strike were liber-
ated from prison.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-07-05
Bride is Lottery Prize.

st. Petersburg4A remarkable bach
elors' lottery is being organized at
Swolensk. The prize is beautiful
young wife, and 5000 tickets at half
crown each are being sold.
Not every one who pays q half
crown can, however, hope to win the
bride. She is to be cat home" every
dav for week to ticket holders. and
after interviewing them. if she does
not approve of some candidate as e
possible husband, his money is to be
refunded to him and the ticket with
drawn.