Mountain advocate. (Barbourville, Ky.) 1904-1935, 1912-08-16
The
Misanthrope's
Secret


bank stock and township bonds and
was Just rolling in money. And Uncle
Joe said Tom Terrence was too stlngy
to get married and that he was the
closest man in q trade he had known
since old Hec was a pup. But l know
better.
For when l was a small, small boy,
Tom Terrence bought my soul and
thereafter | was his loyal slave unto
his dying day. When that purchase
was made Tom Terrence was a young
bachelor with laughing blue eyes and
a smile that made a small boy feel
good all over. And he bought me in
this wise:
1t was the day had graduated from
pink slips" into the dear glory of a
plaid blouse suit. We were at the
county fair and Tom Terrence came
up and shook hands with father and
mother, and said. ivy, l amt seen
you for six years! Gee whiz! What's
this y'u got, a girl or a boy?" And
they all laughed ana Tom says, says
he, "Lemme take this youngster while
you old folks trail around and see the
display in the Agricultural Hall" And
Tom took me bodily, and in the next
hour he bought my soul.
Says he, 81 got some money that
don't know what to do with, less
spend IL on a small boy" And l said,
Have you enough money to buy a
Shoohy' box? They got candy and
breastpins and gold dollars in em.
But they cost ten cents!" And Tom
squinted his eyes and grlnned and
said, ITS my treat" and bought the
'Shoo-ny' box, and in 1t was candy
and brass breastpin, but no gold dol
lar.
Then Tom said, "Now We'll take in
the show" And we went in and saw
the fat woman and the living skeleton
and the man with the India rubber
skin. And we saw live alligator and
three monkeys and little couple that
were called General and Mrs. Tom
Thumb.
Then he said, Les go see the mig
ger minstrels. They sing and dance
and double shuttle and pick the banjo
Ever hear a banjo?" l never had. as
it something like a macordeum?"
asked
Like a ma-cordeum?" said Tom.
Its better-a heap better. But you
watch out that it don't put the devil
in your toes!"
l hung back The devil was a real
parsonage to me-a parsonage with
horns and big tusks and a cloven foot
and he sat on his long tail that had a
singer on the end.
Jaw. come on" said Tom. 81 was
just foolin'. | meant banjo music is so
fine it makes you want to get up and
dance"
$50 we went in and heard the min
strels. They cracked jokes l could not
understand, though Tom laughed at
them. But they sang strange, weird
melodies, war time and camp meeting
melodies. To me, who had never heard
chorus singing except the long meter
tunes on Sundays when they had
preaching in the schoolhouse 1t was
indescribly fascinating. And the ban
Jos-the next day when l nailed o
board for a handle to my toy drum
and strung it with mothers best shoe
strings, mother exclaimed, For the
land sakes!" and then sat down and
laughed and said: That's what comes
of letting that boy trail around with
Tom Torrence!"
There was a tent where tintypes
were made. Only they called them
gems" want your picture took?"
querled Tom. YES" l said. 81 never
had one took since rs a boy. l got
one when Is a little girl and wore
dresses"
Then Tom bought me grapes and
peaches - ripe, rosy-cheeked, fine
smelling peaches, full of juice and
flavor. And he bought peanuts-the
first | ever tasted. And he asked me
what else | wanted and l said: 81
never tasted bologna sausage. II
looks mighty good" SO he bought bo-
logna and crackers and they tasted
then better than the fried chicken and
rolls mother had brought in a basket.
And on our way back to the family
wagon | tried to express my apprecia-
ton and said: you must be mighty
rich. Tom" and the twinkle went out
of Toms eyes and he said: mo; but
| would be If had little boy like
you-who has a ma-like you have!"
But when he turned me over again
to my father and mother and mother
said: 81 know that boy has been a
whole lot of bother to you. Tom" Tom
laughed and said mo sire-ee man!
amt had as much'fun since Hec was
a pup"
That was years and years ago. Tom
Terrence grew old and had lands and
houses and bank stocks and bonds.
and was a bank president, and died.
Man aafd ba Kuaatfn, otfpOu 10 MARRY