davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-09-03
CARE Of THE TEETH
IMPORTANT TO HEALTH

Wlthou; perfect seeth one capNnot
enjoy perfect healta. Decayed or I'M
perfect teeth are not only painful and
continuously annoying But positive
menace tc health ahd sven life
DO NOT NJ SleCt your teeth J-u0p the
FIRST sign of decay haNeN them treated
and save suffering. or if IA, teeth are
already IN ha7 condition$traVe them at.
tended 10 at once
The modern scientific painless meth
DDS in use by the Atlanta Dental Par
lorS rob dentistry of its former terrors.
ana the most difficult operations are
performed quickly and without pain.
This handsome establishment is To-
Gated at the corner of Peachtree ana
Decatur streets, entrance. at 10 IL
P6aChtree 49,
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-09-03
WOODEN MILLER ARRAlGNeD

BOSTON, Sept. William NJ. Wood
president of the American Wooden Com
pany. millionaire mill owner. appeared
before Judge Raymond in the Suffolk
superior court today and pleaded MOI
guilty To the charge of couspiring t.;
plant" dynamite i'm the textile strike
last winter He was held in $4,000 bail
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-09-03
STOMACH TROUBLES

HorStord's Acid Phosphate 3D.
Produces healthy activity of weak and
dlsordered Stomachs An excellent
strength builder 80
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-08
FROM THE ~HICKEYv1LLE
CLARION.

Mrs. Emerson Potts is believed to
be the 1912 snake champion at the
present time. She was walking along
the road ear her home one day last
week n espied what she thought
was a large log lying at the side uf
the path. She sat down to rest. be-
ing very tired, when the log moved
and started to carry her across an
open field. Mrs. Potts found that the
log was a blacksnake. one Of the
largest eve seen in that locality. and
she instantly killed It with her hat
pin. Mrs. Potts ia an ardent suf-
fragist. The reptile measured IS feet
In length.
Things always happen right for
some people. Mr.. Earnest Twigg
wanted to marry the beautiful daugh-
ter Of a nearby farmer, but the
daughter demanded q diamond ring.
and would not become engaged with
out 1t. Mr.. Twigg was d~isconsolate
and decided to walk down to the river.
jump in and end 1t all. As he vas
about to do 30 he noticed a beautiful
pickerel dlsporting itself near the
surface . OF the water. Something
told Mr.. Twisg to grab the pickerel
and by a deft movement ne did %.
Upon cutting the fish open he found
q beautiful diamond ring. It just
happened to At the left third finger
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-08
GREATEST ELECTRICIAN
Is STEINMETZ, A DWARF
From the Milwaukee Journal.

From the Milwaukee Journal.
About SO people out OF 100 never
heard the name OF Charles Proteus
Steinmetz. Nevertheless. Steinmetz
knows more about electricity than any
body else in the world.
And the General Electric mpa
pays him $4,000 a yea for knowing it.
They called him merely Charles at
first. but his schoOlmates in Breaslau,
Germany, where he was born, nick
named hin PrOteus because Of his
dwarfish form. He is only four feet
high now. The nickname stuck. Now
he has proved 1t q prophetic name by
changing himself from u dwarf to 4
mental giant. u mysterious personality
that dominates the electrical world.
He landed In New York psnniless
something more than 20 years ago. He
was about % then.
In nine years he was chief consult
Ing engineer for the General Electric
company.
Steinmetz has perfected more than
100 Inventions, most Of which mean
much to the expert and little or moth
ing to the layman.
He invented the mercury arc lamp,
that gives three times az much light as
the old fashioned arc.
Fishing in the Mohawk one day,
steinmetz got to plotting In his mind
the curve OF some electrical phenome-
non. He found that ne needed a table
Of logartthins to finish his calculations.
He hadn't any table. He didn't want to
go back to town to get n He wanted
to go right on fishing.
So then and there he computed q
whole table OF logarithms. II you
don't know what that a ask a
mathematician.
Thot, h1 ornnt an ,.,S<k, Ste o.I..o-ka~-
and finished his curve.
That's the kind OF mind Steinmetz
carried around in the big head stuck
between the shoulders of his neckless
little back.
It's a mind worth having around.
That's why the General Electric forks
out $4,000 a year for the use OF It.
And that's why the rule about smok-
ing in h Genera Electric shops was
broken. When the rule was made
Steinmetz said:
TIL either smoke or get out"
He stayed and smoked.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-08
PERSONAL.

Cynthia-You say you have lost your
complexion and ask me to tell YOU
what to do. Look beneath the bureau.
PERHAPS 1t has rolled under there.
Those round boxes are very elusive at
times.
Fannie-Hips are not in style. There
are not even hips on hurrahs this
season.
Horace-If you want to know how to
nave g pretty lawn. ask your neigh
Dor. The neighbor always knows. even
II his own lawn looks like a craxy
quilt In distress.
Lemuel W.-One way to be popular
for q few DAYS Is to promise ali your
neishbors all the brook trout they can
eat.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-08
- tate 10 p It.

Thew found that he had spent 1t
All that he'd accumulated.
Carriage to the Door house waited.
Ezra passed to life eternal
And the home towns weekly journal
HARDLY gave him anv mention,
1T attracted no attention.
1T was just a ''Village Jotttin's
Poor Ezra was forgotten.
Hiram Haskins. Ezra's brother.
seemed like he was OF another
Breed of c~attle-and he looked IL.
III there was a cen he hooked 1t.
He was miserly and graspin'.
And his voice was hard and raspin'
He was always With the bidders
On the MORTGAGES OF widders.
He grew most, amazin' wealthy
In a n sharp n stealthy.
Even when so rich he counldn't
Count his piles of gold he wouldn't
Give a nickel to the needy.
He was that tarnation greedy.
But the folks all catered to him,
And his funeral was glorious.
Like an emperur's victorious:
And the paper had a column
or u notice sad and soiemn.
And the whole town joined in grievins
Ger che old man that was leaving.
We don't know what happened to 'em
When they both got what was due 'em,
But we'll bet old Hi is wishin'
For Il change In his condition
Wishin' the eternal eraces
Would let him and Ez trade places.
THE JUMPS"
No emperor OF ancient Rome was ever
half 30 great
As is the monarch that the world has
reckoned with Of late.
His Subjects stand I'm anYiN,,v a ~
o terror struck and dumb,
TIC learn their fate as signalled by the
wtggle OF his thumb.
lmperiOus and absolute he reigns, 4
power supreme
Above Napoleon's ideas and Nero's
fondest dream.
The destiny Of nations rests upon his
mighty frame
AND medieval despots We're. compared
With him. quite tame.
Upon a pedestal ne stands until, with
temper quick,
The bleacher angels take a hand and
someone heaves a brick.
observe his fine u language and
his diplomatic style:
"Gwan, you'se lint head. bush league
dub. you're out a good long
mile"
Take notice OF the dignity which marks
his every word.
Back to h bench. You'se got a nerve
dat surely is a bird"
Just listen to his polished tone as
smooth as velvet's nap.
Brush by. you'se imitation. or I'll
scramble up your map
Mark we'll the great and haugtly mien
as pearls of wisdom drop,
Play ball and cluff dat phoney talk or
else I'll flag de cop"
Decisions on affairs of state from this
arbiter fioW
Until, quite unexpected. some pop bot
tie lays him low.
The rabble's protests don't disturb the
tenor OF his way.
He's quite ~impervious to all his bleach.
er critics say.
But like the old Egyptian kings they
tell about in rhyme.
He does not reign forever. but must
pay tribute to Time.
He starts out in a major league and
slowly he works dow
Until he rules the back lot game, the
awe of same tank town.
His victims still yell ''robber'' and
make personal remarks,
Just like were heard long years ago
around the city parks.
He's In bad all his stormy life and
when the end ia night,
He o he's earned his reward. a
good safe place on high.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-08

or the girl he loved, and now we'd
olng bells are heard in the distance.
Mr.. 1gnatius Tootle, the renowned
authority on floral life. is at the pres
ent time. trying to o~utburbank Bur-
bank. the wiz. by growing a rectangle
watermelon. MIR. Tootle has noticed
for a number of years that ultimate
consumers ave had more or less trou-
Ole to carry watermelons home from
the store. inasmuch as they (the water
melonsl are of awkward shape and
quite slippery. and after Il watermelon
had fallen and collided with the ce-
ment sidewalk its usefulness may be
said to be Owe Mr.. Tootle's water
melon Will be long and will have
square corners. one OF which will fit
INTO the bent elbow when the melon Is
carried on the inside of the arm. MI.
lootie expects to ave his new melon
W and on the market by 1927 IL
nothing happens.
Miss Anna Peabody. who is cook at
a hotel. has won the thinnest-slice-of-
foast-beef contest and now holds the
championship. For some time there
has been a keen rivalry among the
country Motel Droprietors to furnish the
th1nnest slice of roast beef. Miss Pea
nodv evolved the nleasant and practical
e OF slicing the beef with a safety
razor. and she can now slice it so thin
That 1T looks as though it were etched
or photographed OH the plate when set
before the hotel guest. 1t is quite
possible to read the finest print in the
newspaper through 1t.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-08
THE AGE OF WOMEN.

This IL certainly getting to be
wonan's age. They are rising In
tneir might; M they are no longer
The other day in Los Angeles. Cal.
was criticized by her hus-
oand because she had not cooked the
chicken right. What did she do? Did
q go to her room and weep and
to go back to her mother?
~. e She grabbed q perfectly
1000 - platter and smashed II over
p head Of her lord. and now he 10 In
the hospital trying to figure OFT what
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-08
She is Sarcastic.

VIE, I want you to 60 to Chigger
Farm"
How can 1 go anywhere for the
summer? / ave no clothes"
That's just the point. You can
wear old clothes at Chigger Farm. Old
clothes are the thing
"Old clothes are the thing, Ell? Then
for once in my life I can make a
splurge. II old clothes are the thing.
I'll take along seven trunks Of this
oldest duds in this state"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-08
TWO BROTHERS.

Ezra Haokins was q follor
With q disposition meller;
Never graspin': greedy.
Alweys helped the Door and needy.
Always helped the poor and needy.
Ana he may have made q billion
e he. hadn't. always parted
IN 9 manner open.hearted
with such ltb'ral wads Of Doodle.
Never GOT It in his noodle
That Dame Fortunes always tickle.
And he should save every nickel.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-08

razor. and she can now slice it 80 thin
that 1T looks as though it were etched
or photographed on the plate when set
oelore the MOTEL guest. : 1t is quite
possible to read the finest print in the
newspaper through it.
HOW TO GET, RICH.
We have received many letters ask
ms us how to get rich. 1t ia really
a Very simple thing and can be done
rules:
First-<.ake a lot Of n,onav and .ava
it. ~ ~
second-Have an uncle worth 31e.-
10000 die suddenly and leave Won all
of his money.
Ihlrd-Find a pocketbook containing
$l.,OoV and invest in stocks that will
eral Years.
fourth-Have some good. kind gen.
tleman present YOU with 5000 shares
OF United States Steel.
fl1th.Discover u gold mine or an
OH Well i'm your back yard.
S,Alh-lnvent an automobile that
will run 100 miles on S cents worth Of
gasoline. that will have
apie tires and will sell for $217 +. o. b.
SeVenth-Write ten successful plays.
each OF which will run two Years in
New York and n year in Chicago.
-
HEARD ON THE KEROSENE
CIRCUIT.
"When ] asked my girl to marry me
bye" ~
Well. what about it?"
We'll. h has seen me bay and h,v
ever since"
: am worried about my husband.
he ak in his sleep"
Wen. ne has to have q chance to
ealk sometime. doesn't hep"
THE suffraget's husband ia a ma
tient old galoot.
Who hasn't got a button on his
union suit NA'
wizard Burbank is now experi-
men!lng on plums. 1t seems as though
to be in politics.
A RECOLLECTION,
HOW dear to my heart are the scenes
of my childhood.
When fond recollections present them
to view.
And n of these memories ever win
haunt me:
It is the most painful that 7 av.r
How Well 1 remember that sca,a g.,
the woodshed.
l ate from the mantel quite often. by
jinS: -
or all my mothers effects 1 remem-
Der
That old wooden hairbrush that she
used to swing.
AS r. LIE GALLIENNE WOULD
WRITE 1T.
upon each and every occasion when
! me myself to the metropolis the
gentlemen whom l find there persist
IN chastising, with their pedal OK
ruped. @1~"
But inform you it n by any
possibility. make an i~nfinitesimal diff
fe~rentiation II he Is, perchance. onlv
a hound. oAs
The gentlemen whom I happen upon
IN the metropolis. must discontinua
cnastising. with their pedal extremi-
AND THEY GET GOOD MONEY
FOR 1T.
Making a sort of a noise in yaude-
vllle which may or may not sound
something like an Elsie Janis imita-
ton of Eva Tanguay.
Making after dinner speeches clipped
from Joe Miller's joke book.
writing musical comedies which
~lnventing complexion lotions which
tear the complexion off the face.
THE ANTIQUARIAN.
The antique craze she early caupb+
She loved the old things, all:
Sunlcient antiques she had bought
To fill a good-sized hall.
She had a rare old davenport.
a h1Rhboy and a bed
nh 1nl -..- -.
Inat FAC tour posts and COS her quite
A lot of coin twas said.
h had old china. old brass lamna
And tapestries galore.
she had collected quite enough
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-08
AND THEY GET GOOD MONEY
FOB IN
THE AUTHORIZATIONS

The antique craze she early caught.
She loved the old things, all:
Sufficient antiques she had bought
To fill a Rood-sized hall.
She q a rare old davenport.
A highboy and a bed
Inat mad four posts and cost her quite
"A lot of coin twas said.
she mad old china. ole brass lamps
And tapestries galore.
She a collected quite enough
Old Junk to start a store.
She worshipped old things. yes she a,d
AS only faddists can.
But old thing she criticised.
AND that was her old man.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-08
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.

ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.
There are too many fellers in this
world who make their dyspepsia their
religion.
There are a lot of good" men who
are not good for very much else.
One sweetly solemn thought: There
are no more poles to be discovered.
There is u new play called The
are no presidential possibilities in it.
One thing we v see any more is
good old-fashioned buckwheat cake
which was brown on both sides.
Il all h loafers in this ountr had
to go to work there probably wouldn't
be enough work to go around.
Straw votes show which way the hot
air blows.
Amy Teller who thinks that horses
are goin' out OF style ought to try and
buy one.
So fur as i am concerned, 1 would
ruther have Il good house and lot
than an automobile, but 1 am some
Old-faShioned.
1t is gradually gettin' so it amt no.
sure sign of the millennium to see a
preacher smokin' a cigar or goin' to u
circus.
A good poker player is born and
not made.
Men will never catch up with
women in the good old art of saving
off Il board with a pair Of shears or
q razor.
OF credit for everything he does. it
is a cinch that he never does very
much.
Hank Purdy is a Baptist by mar
riage. Personally. he Is religiously
speaking, democratic.
Uncle Ezra Binks tells the weather
by his corn. When his corn aches
he says it is surely going to rain. and
1t always surely does rain-some-
times.
A Teller hasn't reached h pinnacle
of fame until somebody names a s.
cent cigar after him that nobody will
smoke.
No Teller kin ork faster than a
lazy mar for a few minutes.
There amt nothing that looks more
old fashioned just now than a 1911
model oatmobile.
OLD LOVE LETTERS.
When ma gets sore at dad.
When she is good and mad;
When they nave Quarreled all day
And there's no more to say.
When he seems to have Won
And has her on the run,
She always a in store
One argument, no more.
Which makes him grab his hat
And leave so quickly that
There's no time for, ~"good-bys'
As for his car he flies.
She opens up q trunk
Extracts a lot Of junk.
He wrote to her away
Back to their counting day.
She starts to rea the ,gush.
The drivel and the slush.
But ere three n she's read
Her audience has fled
In agonizing fear.
He cannot Stay and hear.
That's how she's had her way
For many and many a day.
The morals easy. quite,
A chap should phone. not write.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-08
6 8: :44EE Hi$S 6Mfi7
NJ by Roy e. oul+on. q
Eopyright. 1911. by North American Press
Syndicate.)

S~yndicate.)
THE STATESMAN.
When ultimate consumers rage
And tell him of their urgent needs;
When fearful war besets the land
Until In nations great heart bleeds;
When hostile nations do enforce
Their policies and chosen creeds:
When mighty trust magnates encroacll
And satisfy their w pet greeds:
When others fare forth to the fray
Upon their champion battle steeds;
When others do the hero act
And gather fame for valiant deeds;
When others win the victories
Of which a thankful nation reads;
The statesman does his noble part.
Flo he sends out the garden seeds.
~
LEAP YEAR IN THE COUNTRY.
The enterprising correspondent at
Keeler, Mich. sends in the following
encouraging items to the HON paper:
Ron Cheney is repairing Lawrence
Lewis front steps. 1t looks now as
if some young lady had taken advan-
tage of the leap year privilege.
Frank Nodrouf has IL young chick
ems. Now you ladies who want to take
advantage OF leap year there is a
chance to help Frank bring up the
family.
OTHER PER1LS OF MATRIMONY.
Professor Zueblin might also include
the following in his lecture on The
Perils of Matrimony":
MISUNDERSTANDING.
Gin fizzes.
Carpet beating.
Exploding gas ranges.
IndigeStible cheese ramikins.
Forgetting to come home to dinner.
Telling his wife's right age.
Careers for women.
Naming the baby.
Losing husbands slippers.
Deciding upon a summer resort.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-08
LIFE's LITTLE IRoNIEs.

Having the minister call when YOU
are in the midst of a stag poker game
Being in a hurry and having the
mar ahead Of you in the barber chair
take a hair cut. egg shampoo. cleo.
trio massage. head rub and shave.
The Blackfoot optimist. [volume] (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1907-1918, 1912-10-07
ADVERTISED LETTERs

List Of letters remaining uncalled
for in the Post Office at Blackfoot
Idaho for the week ending October l.
1912
Persons calling for these let.
ters will please say advertised Octo-
Der /. 1912.
Allen, E.
Allen, c. A. ca
Bowens. w. A.
Brown, w. F.
Coma. Melvin
Ferguson. Mrs. James w.
Hawley, Mrs. Jane
Hatch, G. H.
jackson. Miss Mae
Marinelli. Annibale
Mitchell, Owen
Mcbride, Burton
Ornenby, Cromwell
Palsen, John
Pilgrim. A. J.
Palkeral, f. p.
Standish, Earl
Turner, Theo
Wiley, George
H. B. CURTIS.
Postmaster.
INTERNATIONAL DRY FARMING
CONGRESS
Lethbridge, Canada. October 1926.
Excursions via Oregon Short Line
October 16, II and 1S. with limit of
November 14th. See agents for rates
and further PARTICULARS mO-1S
The Blackfoot optimist. [volume] (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1907-1918, 1912-10-07
CANNOT COME BACK

Like all Of the hard fighters and
champions, Colonel Roosevelt cannot
come bck and has been put to the
stress Of turning his campaign into q
vaudeville stunt, If the report from
Oklahoma City is true.
1t is reported that the fair associa'
ton at Oklahoma City secured the
Colonel to make a speech at the
grounds during their fair, as was done
at Blackfoot fair this year, for the
purpose of alluring the people into
spending their good money to enrich
the golfers Of the fair association. The
Colonel was perfectly willing to speak
at the fair, but demanded and receiv'
ed proportion of the gate receipts.
Since appearing in Blackfoot the
big Bull Mooser has struck his gait
He makes good advertising medium
and has the commercial acumen to
demand his share of the .srake-off -
Although the Colonel is defeated he
may console himself with the old pro
verb, There is no loss without some
small gain"
The Blackfoot optimist. [volume] (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1907-1918, 1912-10-07
PEANUT POLITICS

There is absolutely no excuse for a
western citizen supporting tho Demo
cratic party or any candidate on its
ticket unless he has a grudge against
his own interests ard wants to do
some mean thing to get even with
himself The simplest and easiest
way Of backing up this statement is
by giving a short review of what the
last Democratic house of representa-
tives has done for us in Southeastern
Idaho in one matter, small within it.
self. but Of vital Importance to our de-
velopment and welfare.
On January 3rd of this year Senator
Borah introduced in the Senate a bill
providing for the acquisition of sur
face title for agricultural purposes, IN
der the agricultural land laws, Of lands
now withdrawn from entry because Of
phosphate deposits supposed to under
lie same. This bill would effect all Of
the Rocky Mountain States and re
stora to agricultural entry and develop
The Blackfoot optimist. [volume] (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1907-1918, 1912-10-07

animal is nothing more than the
Democratic donkey clothed in the skin
Of dismantled and defeated Moose,
with horns imported from Skull Val
ley and fastened between the long
ears Of the donkey with Democratic
adhesive plaster. And as a result
on the first attempt Of the donkey to
represent himself as any other ami
NAL. the adhesive plaster gave way
and his horns were brushed aside, his
withered overskin was seen to con-
tain numerous defects and the real
and not the pretended animal was ex-
posed to the view Of all.
Just as the fox, IN Aesops fable Of
the donkey in the lions skin, laughed
at and ridiculed that discounted ass,
so now we may sit by and laugh at
the shallow trickery Of the Idaho De
mocratic mule.
Moral: Leave the donkey to his
own folly.
The Blackfoot optimist. [volume] (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1907-1918, 1912-10-07
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION

Department of the Interior, u. s.
Land Office at Blackfoot, Idaho. Aug.
20. 1912.
Notice is hereby given that Edward
M. Jackson, of American Falls, Idaho,
who, on April 10, 1909. made H. e.
Serial, No. 0549O. for VIZ NEA, EN-
NWA, Section 80. Township 6 s.
Range 30 East. Boise Meridian, has
filed notice of intention to make final
three year proof. to establish claim
to the land above described. before
David Burrell. U. S. Commissioner. al
American Falls, Idaho. on the 18th
day Of November, 1919.
Claimant names a. Witnesses:
John Chilin, John Lidstrom. William
F. Jasmann, Harold Samuelson, all Of
American Falls, Idaho
Henry w. Kiefer,
S9-O7 Register.
The Blackfoot optimist. [volume] (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1907-1918, 1912-10-07
THAT TiLDEN BRIDGE

1t would appear from street talk in
the north and south ends of the
county that Commissioner Bennett,
who is again candidate for reelection
on the Democratic ticket has two
brands Of medicine for the doctoring
of the Tilden bridge. The dope in the
south end is that he will build a
bridge in exactly the same place that
the the ruin now stands at whatever
cost, if he has to extend the bridge
as far west as Seattle to touch the
western bank Of Snake river. In the
north he would be so careful, so eco
nomic that 9 bin fora single sheet
of sticky fly paper wosild d studied fel
days by the county board ARdscfinally
diEallowed unless every available por
ton of same had demonstrated. ITS
usefulness by catching wary courl
house flies. Which end of the county
likes this double dope best?