davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08
HUAOR or THE DAY

What do you think will finally be Sc
lected as our national plant2' We'll, II Is
dollars to dimes II will be the mint
Baltimore American.
Money, after all. means nothing but
trouble still, 1t is the only kind OF
trouble which it is hard to borrow
Baltimore American.
Mabel-George gave me such lovely
diamond engagement ring. Gladys-But
he'll want you to give ii back to him.
He always does.-Baltimore American.
mo use locking the Stable door after
the horse is stolen.' 81 should say that
was the very time to lock it. They might
come back after the automobile. wash
ington Herald.
Young Bachelor--I often wonder II I'm
making enough money to get married on
Old Bachelor-Well, I don't know how
much you're making, but you AREN'T
London Opinion
Father is It true that two can live as
cheaply as one?' That's an old saving
my dear" do you believe it?'' at think
It can be done" But If I marry George
do you think you can manage to support
him with the sum you now spend on me
every yearT'-Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08
GLOBE SIGHTS
[From the Atchison Globe.1
BY THE ATcHIsoN GLOBE.

lFrom the Atchison Globe1
We all make fun of straw votes unless
they agree with our prejudices.
A dyspeptic's idea of heaven is a stom-
ach which will stand sausage and pan
cakes.
1t is great to take a cold bath every
morning if one can refrain from Dragging
about it.
A woman may not have more troubles
than a man, but 1t takes her longer to
tell of them.
Fortunately the football season isn't
long, and many a youth is allowed to
grow to manhood.
Colossal nerve is possessed by the
fighter who arises from a knockout to
kick on the referees decision.
A college student is apt to make a large
collection of pipes, and then resume
cigarettes as a source of inspiration.
Some of the cheap safety razors are so
good they are a joke on the five dollar
kind. Not that any kind is any too
good.
You may have observed that the man
who establishes longevity record doesn't
usually attract much attention in other
fields of endeavor.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Nor does the heat of anger help
against cold weather.
X y
Some folk seem to go on the theory
that laws are made to be broken.
Most of the surgeons are expert at
operating on their patients for money.
y x
AS a general rule the individual who
is free to give advice is in need of a
lot of it.
Not a few people worry more over
the troubles of others than they do
about their own.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

A Mr.. and Mrs. Kyler, of Denison.
Tex, were recently placed in a posi-
ton to go the limit and break all rec
ords in the naming of children after
men prominent in presidential cam
paigns. Just before election day they
were blessed with the arrival of trip
lets, all boys. And in order that one
of them would be sure to bear the
name of the next president of the
United States they designated the
boys as William Howard Taft Kyler,
woodrow Wilson Kyler and Theodore
Roosevelt Kyler. Poor little tikes!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08
DAFFYDHS
BY o. NOALL.

If the kings did need1ework what
would Alfonso?
(Never mind, I'll walk quietly.
Don't think that because you're a cop
you can shove me around.)
If one woman called another an old
hen would that be foul language?
(Quick Watsoni The needle!! He
just wagged an earl
When things go wrong in the kitch-
en- does the proprietor of a restaurant?
(Shoot him at sunrise. He's the
boob that put ham in Hamburg.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR

CFrom the New York Press.J
There's a lot of money to be made not
gambling with 1T.
Even optimism knows when there's sour
cream in its coffee
One risk about a girl learning how to
make her living is later she may have to
make her husbands.
There's nobody to whom a woman's fig
ure out in public is sucn a mystery as
to her own husband.
Next to Tnislaying his favorite pipe, a
man can get most excited over who ought
to be elected but won't be.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08
LATE SUMMER.

Now summer sits with folded hands,
Gazing abroad where tranquil lie
Forests and fields and meadow-lands,
Slumbering beneath a cloudIess sky.
Dreaming she rests little space,
The noontide of her labors done,
Then slowly turns her gracious face
To count her subjects, one by one.
Numbering serene each leaf and flower
Or ripening fruit that owns her sway,
Forgetful of her waning power,
And winter nearer by a day.
Mildred Howel1s, in Harper's Magazine
for November.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

Refusing to bow to popular disap-
prevail and give up such chasers of
ennui as the Turkey Trot," the "Griz-
ely Bear" the Bunny Hug the
Texas Tommy and the Boston, Dip, -
some of the society leaders in the east
have combined the most attractive fea-
lures of all these dances into a new
product that is called the Argentine
Tango" Surely there can be nothing
Objectionable to a dance that travels
under such a distinguished name.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

Some strong but appropriate Ian
guage applied to the men who are
not sufficiently interested in the well
fare of their state and nation to vote
on election day comes from a Baptist
clergyman of Hartford, Conn. He con-
siders a non-voter to be worse than
a vote-seller, and adds that "God AL
mighty cannot guide an object that is
EfatioparvH
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08
ON ThE SPUR
or The AOMENT
After Bud Kip.
BY ROY K. MOULTON.


When the husband meets his helpmeet
every morning in debate,
And he's trying to explain to her why
he was out so late,
There never is any question that his
arguments will fail
For the female of the species can talk
longer than the male.
When the argument is hottest and they
get down to brass tacks,
And they land each others relatives
lot of pungent whacks;
You would think that hers were angels
and that his should be in jail.
For the female of the species can think
faster than the male.
When they're whacking up the Doodle
that he's armed throughout the
week,
And deciding how to spend it, he's a
pretty helpless geek;
1t is hard for him to look at his per-
centage of the kali.
For the female of the species can grab
quicker than the male.
When they do their weekly shopping
and they linger round the store,
Till the husband thinks that living is
most DECIDED bore;
She can take her a 5O-cent piece and get
dry goods by the bale,
For the female of the species can buy
cheaper than the male.
When it comes to information on the
gossip of the day.
On the neighborhood activities and
things that people say,
She has got her husband beaten when
she gets upon the trail.
For the female of the species can
hear" lots more than the male.
According to Uncle Abner.
A good many of the level head
ed" fellers you hear so much about
are only flat heads.
1t is getting so a political banquet
is about as popular as an epidemic
of smallpox.
A pretty woman kin do more tricks
with jury than monkey kin with
a cocoanut.
There isn't any use III going a mile
or two down the rud to look for
trouble. Hank Tumms went and
paid 81 for a medical book, and when
he read it he found he had every
symptom of every disease mentioned
and he is laid up in bed for the first
time in his life.
One thing agin' havin' a suit of
clothes made by a tailor is that he
never throws in a pair of suspenders.
Every time some fellers tell a story
they so back to the time of Adam
and after gettin' through with the
creation, the crusades and the French
and American revolutions and every
body has gone to sleep, they tell the
point of the joke and wonder why
nobody laughs at it.
Among the Missing.
Old fashioned elastic sleeve holders.
Bulldog shoes.
Wristlets.
Mems CATERS.
Disc music boxes.
Niagara Falls transparencies.
Wax flowers.
Views of the Worlds fair
Old fashioned mustard plasters.
Initials on shirt sleeves
Raincoats with capes.
Crullers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08
FROM OTHER PENS
CALLING OUT HIDDEN CASH.

CALLING OUT HIDDEN CASH.
Although we inaugurated the postal
savings bank system in a half-hearted
way, as We are soon to inaugurate the
parcels post system, it has now had
time to prove it's value so strikingly
that Congress is likely to widen the
limitations it imposes. The first two
years of operating the system ended in
June last, and it is now possible to an
nounce the volume of the postal bank
business in that time. At the close
of the second fiscal year there were
more than 1900 postal bank deposit
tories, holdinp $23, 900, 900, deposited by
270, 900 depositors. Such a showing
under the limitations imposed by Con-
gress before it would consent to the
adoption of a system here which has
been long tried and approved in Europe
proves that a much wider extension of
that system would do. Under the ex-
listing law no person is permitted to
deposit more than 800 in any month
in a postal savings bank, and no de-
positor in such bank can deposit more
than $780, The law has now worked
long enough to prove that, at the inter
est rate the government pays, no
regular banking institution has suffered
in loss of deposits for making up the
$23 900 in postal banks. 1t has been
demonstrated that the great bulk of
that sum has come out of boards long
concealed, or old stockings hid in CHM
ney corners, anywhere and everywhere
that tin1fd people with frugal habits
and afraid of bank failures have con-
cealed their savings.-St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

More power to the strong arm OF
the United States supreme court. It's
revision of the rules Of procedure N
equity cases in the federal courts that
will reduce the cost of litigation and
eliminate delays, is a progressive move
worth while
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

German army life is sure to lose
much of it's attractions for the officers
inasmuch as a criminal law has gone
into effect in Kaiserland which pro-
vides a punishment of five years con-
finement in prison for army officers or
any one else who participate in a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

No less than 1880 love letters were
found among the effects of an Aus
tralian bachelor. Evidently he eth
err had to die or marry to stop them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

Endless and sometimes queer are
the suggestions for abating the high
cost of living. The University of
Pennsylvania has placed on exhibit
ton a collection of cannibal weapons
and utensils
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

Pierre Lott announces that he ad-
r-ires the freshness of the American
girl. He is reticent. however, con-
corning the freshness of the American
how.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

ct notice, senator" said the beautiful
girl, that you are advocating a good
many things which you said four years
ago would ruin the country Yes"
What has caused you to believe in
thenn?" Il don't believe in them; but the
public seems to."-Chicago Reeord-Her-
aid
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

The state journal In n member Of the
feieTraph report Of that great news or
sanitation for the exclusive afternoon
Dublication In Topeka
The news Is received IN The state jour
n9j bI1ildire over wires fer this sole puT-
U0gS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

More fruit for the lawyers. A
Philadelphia man has died leaving
100000 without any indication as to
where IT should go.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

Atlantic City has the first woman
municipal comptroller in the United
States. But she is not the first woman
comptrolIer BY a long shot.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

DIR. Brooks of Geneva, who discov-
cred a comet at o'clock the other
morning, hasn't a great deal TO brag
about. Most men who stay out that
late discovere more than one.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

Perhaps that Eastern Judge who
has declared the safety razor to be a
dangerous weapon tried to strop the
blade with one of those patented ap-
pliances.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

One Of the troubles with the revolu
ton business in Mexico seems to bt
that there is too much competition
In it
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

Nor is there any doubt that Dudley
Doolittle did much more than that to
Fred S. Jackson in the congressional
contest In the Fourth district.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

That New York woman who wants
a divorce because her husband drinks
cologne can't be blamed much, con-
sidering the odor of some of the con-
coctions classed under that name.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

One bookstore in Chicago sold 5000
Bibles in September. Probably some
body told the Chicago people that it
was one of the latest publications out.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

No wonder the people of Monte
negro are so wild. Their king writes
poetry.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08

Beef Is still going higher. An I'LL
nois COW towers six feet from the
ground
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08
KANSAS COMMENT
DAY OF sETTLEMENT.

A vital question in the controversy be-
tween the allied Balkan kingdoms and
Turkey these days, is whether or not the
powers will be allowed to put in their
oars. There must, sometime or other,
come a settlement of the affairs that
bulge out of the war. Some decision must
be reached as to how far Bulgaria and
the other Balkan states will be pushed
back from Constantinople, the Bosphorus
and the Dardanelles. Heretofore when
something in this near-east difficulty has
dubbed to the surface the powers have
considered it their duty and their bust
ness to butt in and decide matters. This
has been partly because Servia, Greece
and Bulgaria have allowed the powers
to interfere. But it isn't that way now.
The chances now are that the winners in
this fight will claim the honor ana the
distinction of arranging articles OF peace.
as they have conducted the articles of
war. The Balkan states may decide TO DO
their own diplomatic work And II this
is done it will be up to the sultan OF Iur-
key to take whatever he can get. some
thing slipped a cog in the great move
ment for reform in the Balkan nils. Inc
powers didn't want things to go as Tar
pectation that the Turks would be able
to hold their own for time, until a plan
of peace could be perfected But the
Turks could not hold anything. The war
managed to slip out of the control or
Turkey and out of the knowledge OF the
powers, through the complete censorship
take the count of ten. And then 1t WASH I
any time for the powers to become prom,
particularly to the Balkans and to no one
else. When the time for settlement comes
the man of the near-east is to be changed
until Abdul Hamid, If he was freed
wouldn't know it.-Hutchinson News.
KANSAS EMIGRATION.
What this country needs Is not
hindrances placed in the way of i'm
migrants to prevent their coming to
this country More emigrants on the
farms and fewer in the cities is the
great need of the country. As matter
of fact, foreign emigration, for some
reason, has received a check and there
has been a decided falling off in the
numbers coming here. Official figures
I'D to June 80, show that for a period
of ten months ending with April, the
net arrivals of unmarried Italians were
only 24,817, as compared with $685. in
the previous twelve months and 49,
4e2 in 19O9-10. A diminished movement
also is reported for the last year from
Scandinavia, Greece, Holland and the
United Kingdom. For the six months
of this calendar year a total of 241,O46
aliens enligra ted from our shores. We
need the emigrants, but we need to
have them better distributed through
the country. Agents placed at Castle
Garden to direct the newcomers to the
rich fields of the west would accomplish
immense good to the country in getting
population where it is needed and in
keeping it away from places where it is
not needed.-Leavenwort Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08
BIG GUNS AND ARMoR.

Tests of the first fourteen-inch gun
constructed for coast defense prove it to
be a handy little weapon for throwing
around within a radius of seven miles
projectiles sixty-five inches long and
weighing. LEGO pounds. At this reach it
can send a shot through the thickest
armor-plate afloat. Ten rifles of this
caliber are to be installed on the battle
ship New York, which has just been
launched. and it is now planned to equip
the Panama Canal and Manila fortified
tons with similar guns, and ultimately
the whole line of our continental coas
defense. This sounds like the last word
In bfg-gun construction. and power and
reach of projectile. But is it? The one
battleship authorized by congress last
session carries an appropriation so large
and free from restrictions that a vessel
may be constructed capable of carrying
battery of sixteen-inch rifles which
might throw projectile more than seven
miles and penetrate arInor two or three
times as thick as any now existing. Why
stop at the fourteen-inch calibre when
these tests tend to prove the practicability
also of the sixteen-inch rifle OF greater
terror? AS means of bringing armor
and protectile power into a state OF
mutual destruction 1t should prove par
ticularly effective.-New York World.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-08
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.

FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-19

but instead of showing revenge deem 1t a privilege to do all it can for so worthy a cause. Indeed n Is a privilege for any of us from the richest to the poorest to con tribute to such a need.
 Christ said in as much as ye have min istered unto the least of one of these. ye did 1t unto me.
 How much better for the camp it would be if every head of every family in Jeff ferson county would pledge themselves to give $1 per year to the support of the camp (which would support it nicely). and this would relieve them from all the ap- peals they make from time to time.
 I hope this will be small start to interest the people of our city more fully cause, and may the zoo which we read about so much be far from being consid- cred when this appeal Is being so badly neglected.
 I sincerely hope when Mir. Lane reads this he will reconsider the matter and give the tuberculosis association all 1t asks.
 I am sure they can find no better place to invest the city's money where it will bring larger returns.
 I hope as Mir Lane has calls for help from this camp he will be brought face to face with its urgent needs, and each call will enable him to enlarge the city's contribution if he can do so. His efforts will be heartily endorsed by the people and God will bless the means any of us may give to help our unfortunate friends.
 MRS. P. B. KENNEDY.
 67 Highland Ave, Pratt City.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-19
NEWS 0F THE DAY
 IN SOCIAL WORLD Informal Incidents of Mo-
 ment to Various Sets THE DAYS EVENTS
Highland Clan Holds a Meeting With Miss hompson-Surprise Party
 for MT. Roberts-Luncheon
 Bridge With Mrs. Gillespy
By MYRTLE MILES

One of the clever events of the week was the celebration of MT. Meredith Rob erts' birthday by party of his. very good friends called together by his sis ter as a pleasant surprise MT Roberts thus became an impromptu birthday host. The pleasant informallty occurred Fri day evening at the home of his mother. Mrs. David Robert, and was marked by the cordial charm that adds zest to the smallest of entertainments.
 Among those calling during the evening were MT. and Mrs. Val Nesbitt, MT. and Mrs. David Roberts, Jr, Miss Margaret Latady, Miss Ellen Percy, Miss Marjorie Weatherly. Miss Doris Weatherly, Miss Virginia Underwood, Miss Joy Tomlnsor, Miss Fredricka Ferguson, Miss Leila Sreven, Miss Belle Roberts, Miss Lucy Pinckarl, Miss Kathleen YanHoose, Miss MaHha Dabney, Mr. Matt Murphy, MT. Frank Anderson, MT. Pelham Anderson. Mir Kettrick. Mir. Sorsby Jemison, MT Robert Malone, MT. Will Robertson, Mr. Kenneth Underwood, MT. Joseph Mudd. MT. William Hazard, MT. Monroe Jones, MT. Peyton Pinckard, MT. Beach Ceno weth, Mr ". R. Dunn, Mir. J. D. Dab ney, MT. H. G. Selbels, and MT. Freder- ick Larkin
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-19
Cripple Gives Life
 For One He Never Saw

Gary. Ind. October 1s.-"I guess turned out to be some good after all.' said Bill Rrgh today with sigh. He then turned his face to the wall and died. It was Rugh who a few days ago submitted 10 the removal of with cred leg that material might be pro- vided for a skin grating operation that saved the life of a young woman he never haG seen. Physlcians said pneu- monia was the cause of Rugh's death. but the ailment resulted directly from the self sacrifice having been due to irritation of the lungs by the ether that was administered when his leg was cut of. Rugh had no relatives and since coming to Gary tramp several years ago had made his living selling newspapers. Miss Ethel smith, the girl for whom he sacrificed his leg and later his life, had been burned terribly in a motorcycle accident. It Is just two days since her recovery advanced sufficiently to permit her removal from the hospital in which Rugh died.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-19

Is unbelievable, isn't it? But when the statement was made that the negative had won, it followed the glaring error that the first named women had upheld the negative side of the proposition, and that the last named had argued for the affirmative And the machine must have been to blame!
 Anyway, in order,tha credit be given where credit is due the offending para graph is clipped from yesterdays paper and reproduced here, with affirmative" and negative" as they should be.
 "The audience had the privilege of lis tening to four of Birmingham's ablest clubwomen in debate. The subject was Resolved, That ouf women's clubs should
 lay more stress on the investigation and solution of present day problems than on
 literary and self cultural study and Mrs. Sidney Ulman of the Council Of Jewish Women and Mrs. T.. o. Smith of the Highland Book club on the af- frmative and Mrs Sterling Wood of the Cadmean Circle and Mrs. John D. Elliott of the Clionian on the negative side Of the question, brought out each point in her conception of the argument so well that it gave the judges great difficulty to decide in favor of either side. The judges, MT James Weatherly, MT. Henry Fltts and pr. Morris Newfield, brought in, however, decision in favor of the negative. MT. Weatherly, in his happiest vein gave the decision, and there was great uncertainty in the minds of those who listened as to what the final outcome would be. for the subject had been bril- lanty handled blythe four women"