The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-09-22
Yarns Of the Courthouse Gang
NO. 7-BY WELLINGTON VANDIVER

and didn't say anything. Directly the
 lover got after tho girl to kiss him
 and when he kept insisting she says to
 him: "John, you ought to be ashamed
 of yourself to want to kiss me when
 we arc sitting up here with corpse ' l Punk reached over, right easy, and l felt of his bed fellows nose, which
 was like ice to his touch, and then that | Punk Beverly give a yell like Il mill
 whistle and rose out of that bed same
 as an earthquake. It was nip and tuck l between Punk and John and the gal
 as to which landed al the foot of the
 stairs first, but from thence Punk run
 over the nlgger porter, knocked the
 water cooler galley west and skidded
 out of the front door, shedding gar
 ments and profanity, and then he lit
 out down Main street, 8 going some. l Gen tel-menl all these here Daytonia
 races, and cup contests, and aviation
 meets. was just standing still besides i the record that Punk made from the
 hotel to the creek. The speed limit was a funeral to il. 1t wasn't run
 ning--it was a cross between a tele- l phone message and an electrical dis fl playa sort of human comet. crow 1 hopping through burnt wind Old sol
 diers said no running during the war ! was In mile of that class. They tell
 me that since MT. Punk Beverly has 1 displayed chastened. sober spirit and
 his neighbors say he Is reading for the
 ministry. Getting scared has lady | like effect some men, now I---
 1 In these days we don't sem 10 get as
 much real satisfaction out of our religion
 a. we did ;n the good old times back ! yonder.' said the backwoods parson.
 Forty years ago folks certainly got ac- , lton on their religion. IL took muscle and
 lungs, combined with some elbow grease,
 to come through.
 We had calling up morrners, and l shouting. and occasionally vixen a bully
 tried to buldoze the camp meeting we enjoyed a highly satisfactory fight; and nothing can measure the deep satsfocticn
 of the old fashioned church :riai, when | your worst enemy was on trla'. Many | | time I have been greatly edified in spirit | by these here church trials. Recollect the | time we tried Zedekiah Batley for man
 slaughter and we couldn't do anything | with him, because the proof showed nc | killed a negro woman. And when we get
 old Pete Cotton before the church for get 1 ting drunk Pete put off the case for a
 month, and N hen he was called on for his
 defense he ga il he had an of set'--that ] two of the deacons had been drnrk since he had. Another time we vas trying ] fellow for iaffling. and old John Rain
 ater who was slightly deaf, got up and said: Brethren hain't shot q rifle in 70 years. and if the Lord will forgive me for that time l promise this here church that I'll never do fl again. Major Pird was
 another member that We was just obliged
 to prefer charges aginst for in.oxieatlon.
 Everybody liked the major. He was all right citizen, but he just would get slowed on certain occasions. This time
 hc plead guilty, and was deeply repentant and everybody was sorry for him. lie was admitting everything charged against flim and sorter crying. and so vas every rody else. when the preacher asked hin.
 Major did you cuss? Really, brethren. sobbed the major I haven't heard In
 the case of Rodgers Black and Nar,ellus
 Teery for fighting the evidence was straight that Rodgers had pulled all Maf-