The Washington herald., 1912-04-29
FABLE TOLD TO
TEACH A LESSON
None but the Eervy Deserve to
Win.
ny DOROTHY DIX.

Once upon a time worthy but I'M
pecunious Youth fell N love with q
Maid whose father was a Rough Crea-
ture who had Accumulated a Tainted
Million In the Grocery Trade
The financial discrepancy between her
self and her Steady cut no Ice with the
Maid, who lent a willing ear to all OF
the Youths Caloric Talk. and believed
that she was Loved for herself Alone.
but Papa looked at the suitor out Of
the slants Of his eyes and passed Daugh-
ter the ultimatum.
Break Away" he said. "for II you
marry this Weary Willie, you will stand
swell chance of starving. for II You
think that am going to feed Son-in-
law on my Dough, you have missed
your guess. Endowing able-bodied young
Golf Players Is not my Line of Phil
anthropy. nor am giving away any
Genuine Government Bonds, as q matri-
monial inducement, this trip.
II am surprised that a Daughter of
Mine has not more Business sagacity
than to fall for such a Gold Brick. but
am passing you a straight tip-it is
you for the Six by Eight Harlem Flat
and the Hand Me Down Raiment. II
you tie up with this Bum Romeo. for
Nixerino OF a PUNK do you get from
Me-
Greatly Distressed.
These cruel words greatly distressed
the Maid, md when the youth came TO
call that night she turned the weeps
upon his Bosom until she wilted down
his Shirt Front
aba ~
Sentiment and Romance my Father Is
a Dead One. Loves Young Dream does
not thrill him nary a thrill, and he
wants me 10 pass you Up because you
are short on the Long Green. but never
will consent to be torn from my Hearts
IDOL viii marry you II we have to live
on Bread and Water"
Noble Creature" returned the Youth.
getting a StrsngIe Hold on her Sinuous
Figure, "let US share the Cares and
Responsibilities Of Life together. II
you will furnish the Bread. will Hustle
Around and try to. find the Water How
ever. We win not begin upon our Vege-
tartan Menu until We have ascertained
that there is no way of holding Papa
up for Lobster Eewburg and Champagne
Frappe."
With that the youth, who was In re-
ality a Slick AIgis, went forth and hiked
down to the joint where Papa did stunts
with Short Weights in his Grocery.
Now the Grocer supposed that the
Youth had come to ask for his Daugh-
ter's Hand. and he prepared TO Throw
him out. but instead of beginning q
Spiel about his Undying Affection the
Youth pulled long face and thus ad-
dressed him:
1uI have cor,s he a,fd s1,acau.. nv
Conscience tells me that I have not
Treated you on the Level. and I wish to
square myself with you. I feel that I
have been raising False Hopes In your
Breast and have led you 10 believe that
you would be able TO Corral me for a
''of course know that I am Mat
Prize that anybody would break
their Neck to get and SympathiZe with
you in your Disappointment in Missing
me, but It Is my Sad Duty to tell you
that Such is your Misfortune, and that
that Glorious Dream can never be Real
lied"
Perceiving that his Audacity had rem
dered the Grocer Speeches, the Youth
went on:
A Long Pedigree.
81 do not deny that your Daughter has
made a hit with me. but 1t would be
Impossible for me to Condescend to
Marry into a Family so far below my
own, or to Ally myself with a Creature
who sells Mackerel by the Fish instead
of the Kit. Moreover. apprehend that
my Sainted Grandmother, who was a |
D. A. r. and a Colonial Dame. would
execute Flip Flaps IN her Cofin at the
mere idea Of my espousing a Wife whose
clock came from Fourth
Avenue instead of over on the Mayfiower."
But" said the Grocer. when he got
back his Breath, my Daughter will have
the Wad as big as an Elephant"
"Faugh!' exclaimed the Youth. what
s Vulgar Wealth compared TO Blue Blood
and Aristocratic Lineage? Back to the |
Peanut Stand for yours
'Ha" said the Grocer to himself, "It
appears that in Framing Up the Situa- |
ion I have made a Mistake. and that
instead OF giving the Youth the Frosty |
Afitt he has handed II. to me. L opine
hat there must be something that Is a |
inch in this Blood Business that I am
Tot Wise TO. and, anyway II my Daugh-
er wants a Family Tree she shall have
me-"
So the Grocer began making passes at 4
he Youth, who Held on until at last
% much money was Shaken at him that /
le allowed himself to be persuaded to
overlook the Maids Pedigree, and to ac-
'ept her Hand In Marriage in Considera-
ion Of a Heavy Bonus.
Moral: This fable teaches that none