davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Springfield herald., 1912-05-17
Appropriate

Appropriate.
Willis-Why do you call your ma
chine "she?"
Gillis-It is said to be the last
word" In an automobile construction.
Judge.
The Springfield herald., 1912-05-17

The man who steals our thunder is
naturally under cloud.
The Springfield herald., 1912-05-17
The One Sure Thing.

I'VE can always be sure. OF one
thing" said the wise one.
What is that?" asked the foolish
one"
thing"
The Springfield herald., 1912-05-17

A Candid Man.
Are you looking for work?"
mo. sir: I'm looking for money.
but I'm willing to work because that's
the only way can get It."
The Springfield herald., 1912-05-17

Over That Now.
"Is their honeymoon over?"
II guess so. She's stopped sitting
up for him when he's out late nights"
The Springfield herald., 1912-05-17

Many a man loses time trying to
explain mistake that he might util-
ize In making others.
The Springfield herald., 1912-05-17
Wanted to Know

Wanted to Know.
He-My father weighed only four
pounds at his birth.
She-Good gracious! Did he live?
The Parker post., 1912-08-31
AS TO CHILDREN OVERHEAD
Mrs. GobbIeton Convinces Her Hus-
band the Only Desirable Flat
ls Next to Roof.

Il think, and l have always
thought" said Mr.. Gobbleton, "that
it's good thing to have living in the
fiat over you family with children.
This is contrary to the general opin-
ion, know, and when | PROFOUND my
theory to Mrs. Gobbleton she says,
Stuff and nonsense!' But l think
there's something in it.
What we want, or what we need
most, is a chance to sleep nights. |
hold that if there are children over
head we get that rest at night be-
cause then the people there keep
quiet so as not to disturb their chill
dren. to which Mrs. Gobbleton again
says, Stuff and nonsense!'
"She says that I'm just a theoriz
er, that | get an idea about how
things ought to be, and then | think
that's the way they are. But she
says that if we have children over
head we get their noise all day, and
the noise of the grown-up people at
night just the same. There may be
cases in which the people do keep
quiet on their children's account, but
to rely on anything of this sort would
be taking a frightful chance, for, on
the other hand, there are people who
put their children to bed nights and
shut up their rooms and then go
ahead just the same and have card
parties and sing and dance till 2
o'clock in the morning, and their
children never know it, but we know
it, and We know it again a little later
when their children are up and
pounding up and down the hall at
o'clock, SO that we can't sleep then
No. she says to me, there's moth
ing in my notion. I'm just a theor-
izer'
Well. then,' l say to her. you'd
say that the only fiat to live in would
be one under the roof?
Now she says to me, now, Al.
gernon, you are showing some signs
of sanity. That's the sort of fiat we
want the next time we move"
The Parker post., 1912-08-31
In Hoo-noo.luu.luu.

Honolulu today is a decided mix
ture of nationalities and a babel Of
tongues. 1t has $4,000 Hawaiians,
$4,000 Japanese, $500 Chinese, 5,400
Portuguese, 4,300 Americans, British
and Germans, 800 Porto Ricans, 1000
Coreans and 1900 other nationalities
In a short ride on the street cars
electric, if you please, and furnishing
very good service-one can easily see
representatives of five or six nation
alities and hear as many different Ian
guag3S spoken First come the ma
tives, swarthy in complexion, with
noses, lips and ears that might sug-
gest American negroes, but with
straight (nOt kinky) black hair and a
copper color that recall the American
Indian and proclaim the Polynesian.
Their language is very simple. To
one who hears it for the first time
comes the conviction that the abort
gines expressed their sentiments in
primitive vowel sounds, to which
some consonants have been added.
Each vowel Is sounded as in Latin,
and the words are easily pronounced
by one who Is patient and wishes to
speak distinctly. The pronunciation
will be all the better if the speaker
will draw out, almost drawl. the
vowel sounds. for which reason the
language is well suited to the doleful
Hawaiian wall Say e. g.. Hoo-noo-
luu-luu, and let the word sing itself
The Parker post., 1912-08-31
NEW CANAL TO BE BUILT.

Definite announcement of the forth
coming construction of a great irri-
cation canal which will mean the
opening and development of a new
inland empire, the reclaiming of
100, 900 acres of virgin soil, the build
ing of at least two new cities i'm Inn
perial Valley, homes for 800 home
seekers, the probable building of a
new belt line railway and the ship
ping of many additional thousands of
carloads of products from the valley,
was made Monday by Col. w. H.
Holabird, receiver for the California
Development company, says Los
Angeles news dispatch The building
of the great ditch, ito be known as the
east high lime canal, will be carried
through by what is known as
Water Company No. s. The canal
will begin at the point near the
Mexican border and extend to Imper-
ial junction, distance of thirty
six miles and including approximately
$4,000 acres. A second heading on the
Alamo River will pick UP all the
water of No. SIS present ditch as
we'll as the waste from the Califor-
mia Development Company's Canal
This will serve to irrigate $4,000
acres additional This water now
flows into the Salton Sea.
The new ditch will be large enough
to carry 500 second feet of water,
which will be taken from the main
canal of the development company at
the legal rate which, at the present
time, is so cents per acre foot. The
work of construction as estimated by
Receiver Holabird at about $3.50 900,
which will be raised by the entry
men under the proposed new ditch,
practically all of the land having al
ready been taken up.
The Parker post., 1912-08-31
BROKE JAIL TO FEED CATS.

oJseph Watkins, a miner, broke jail
at Searohlight and tramped forty miles
across the wilderness to feed his
cats. His act of tenderness will prob
ably lead to the dismissal of a charge
of petty larceny which had been
lodged against him.
Watkins had been absent on the
desert for months He acquired a big
thirst when he struck town, and i'm
a maudlin condition slipped away a
pair of lace curtains. for which he
had no Use whatever.
When he sObered up in Jail he
remembered his cats at his mine,
companions of his lonely life. He
asked the jailer to see that they
were fed. The jailer laughed at the
idea that he send milk across the
desert. That he was in earnest he
showed that night, when he broke
Jail and tramped back to his mines.
The sheriff took after him next
day in an automobile. The officer
arrived at the mine few moments
The Parker post., 1912-08-31
THE PRESS.

l am the printing press, born of the
mother earth. My heart OF steel,
my limbs are of iron, and my fin
gers are of brass.
l sing the songs of the world, the
orations of history, the symphonies
Of all time.
l am the voice of today, the her
aid of tomorrow. | weave into the
warp of the past the woof of the
future. l tell the stories of peace
and war alike.
l make the human heart beat with
passion or tenderness. l stir the
pulse of nations, and make brave
men do braver deeds, and soldiers
die
l inspire the midnight toiler, wea-
ry at his loom, to lift his head again
and gaze, with fearlessness, into the
vast beyond, seeking the consolation
of hope eternal.
When l speak, a myriad people
listen to my voice. The Saxon, the
Latin, the Celt, the Hun, the Slav,
the Hindu, all comprehend me.
I am the tireless clarion of the
news. cry your joys and sorrows
every hour. l fill the dullard's mind
with thoughts uplifting l am light,
knowledge, power. l epitomize the
cOnquests of mind over matter.
l am the record of all things MAN.
kind has achieved. My offspring
comes to you i'm the candies glow,
amid the dim lamps of poverty, the
splendOr of riches; at sunrise, at
high noon, and in the waning even
ing.
l am the laughter and tears of the
world, and l shall never die until all
things return to the immutable dust.
l am the printing press.
ROBERT H. DAVIS.
The Parker post., 1912-08-31

how soon these Indians wild stir up
those ON the reservation to deeds oh
murder, arson and rapine.
"When you return this band to
Arizona, the white man will begin
to defend himself, and lit may be
unfortunately, a peaceful Indian, mis-
taken for one of these, will be killed
You are going ito reinstate those In
dams by this miserably mistaken
philanthropy There is no sense in it,
''This pity of yours runs i'm the
line of absolute ignorance of the
conditions there, and you are doing
the Indian infinite harm. You are
doing those now there at home more
harm than those you would bring
back You are doing the white man
greater harm by it than the Indians.
| shall vote against this conference
report, and I trust the senate will
send it back.
'"Nhe solution of the question: Inn
my mind, as asked by the senator
from Missouri (Mr. StOne), is found
i'm the suggestion of an appropriation
sufficient to take care of these In
dians where they are. The Indians
born in Oklahoma are not acclimated
i'm Arizona and never will be. Their
condition is better where they are.
Whatever sympathy you have, let
it be shown i'm appropriations taking
care of them i'm the only environment
to which they are accustomed"
Mr.. Smith dis also responsible for
the legislation appropriating $4,000
for the relief of American refugees
i'm the state of Arizona. Mr. Smith
has been a constant watchdog i'm
the senate of the United States for
the interests of the people of the
state of Arizona, and can be counted
upon to protect Arizona's rights
whatever they may be.
The Parker post., 1912-08-31

weather and where she has to befed
dry feed a considerable part of the
year. Naturally a COW fed upon pas
trre can be cared for cheaper than
in amy other way.
The ideal way to handle alfalfa for
dairy COWS lis to cut and feed lit ito
the COWS green. In this way, while
lit takes little more work, a given
number of acres will feed at Least
are allowed to rum ON a pasture.
The Parker post., 1912-08-31
WANT NO MORE BAD INDIANS

CONTINUED from Page 1.)
The Parker post., 1912-08-31
SETTLERS MAP.

complette descriptive map of soil
and topography of the Colorado Riv-
er reservation in Arizona. Shows farm
land, fruit land, overflow land, mesa,
river, sloughs, sand alkali, roads, wa
terholeS and timber in the great Par
ker valley where $500 farms will be
opened to entry soon. Map accom-
panied by written description of ev-
cry acre. Also complete report on
Parker project Price $500 postpaid.
Randall Henderson Parker, Ariz.
SACRMENTO, Tug. 26.-The quar-
antine order issued yesterday by the
state horticultural commissioner was
signed this afternoon by Governor
Johnson, and becomes effective inn
niediately, barring from the state the
alfalfe hay from several counties i'm
Utah, Idaho and Wyoming The quar-
alttine is for the purpose of prevent
ing .he introduction of the alfalfa
wee vii into California
The Parker post., 1912-08-31

after Watkins got there, and just in
time to see the fugitive pouring out
cam of beef into a pan for half a
dozen ravenOuS cats.
The Parker post., 1912-08-31

Prizes aggregating $4,000 are to be
given to cowboys at the California
State fair ait Sacramento this year
for various brOno BUSTING stunts
The best riders from all over the
west will be entered i'm these con-
tests.
The Parker post., 1912-08-31
STRUCKMEYER G. FISHER.
Attorneys-at-LaW

Land, Mining, Irrigation, Corporation
Law, General Practice, Courts of Ari-
zona, California and U. S. Land Of
flee. Main office, Phoenix, Ariz., Cor
respondence promptly answered.
In Parker at intervaIs-Notice in Post
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21
For Sale-Reai Estate

LOOK AT THESE-A new cement block house all the Iates, finish, nas six rooms. bath. toilet, modern in every respect on West Adams near Capitol, $350o. terms only $500 down
 One room house 12X16. cement side walk. lot 50X137, the lot alone easily worth $400. hut the amount takes -he lot and improvements In northeast part of town. II acres improved with house and alfalfa two miles north
 west of city $3500. Will trade for city property. 2la acres on car line between city and Indian school $2500. 2I2 acres at end of Brill car line for $2250. A good buy. C. D. Messner- 421a West Adams If
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21

FOR SALE-A new up o-the-min- ute Stucco finish brick house, large rooms and large screen sleeping room. Has built-in book cases buffet.. china closet and cupboards. First-class gas and electric fiXturc@, separate house for help, and fine gar age. This is corner on nice resi- dencc street, on ear line, and close in. $100O00 cash will handle ,his
 Might entertain an Exchange. Bright's Realty Go. 237 w. Monroe St dg
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21
For Sale Houses

FOR SALE-NeW modern brick house. bath, pantry, buffet, just fin ished. or one frame house with lawn lots of shade. corner lot Owner J A Parks, 1921 $ 1st Avenue dg
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21

FOR SALE-Business property on Washington St. 150X137 1-2, corner
 S260O. Better buy this now than wish you had; $500 cash will handle. See Johnston, at Costley's Real Es- tate Exchange, r w. Adams. If
 FOR SALE-Watch Phoenix Grow. This is a money maker : F acres ce- ment block house, 65 fruit trees a fine stand of alfalfa allround well inn proved home way below real value the white line will make this ideal home more than double $4S00 this is close in, Groom splash dash home built by owner. Handsomely finished, high. slightly view in Martin 3rJ St. near McDowell road $42000 beat it if you can this home is way below market value. Terms to suit goo
 trade 3 room 10 acres good stand hay, fruit trees well improved place to trade for city home. We will build for you in any direction on terms from $100 up, balance like rent. Open Sunday. MT. NJ. H. Shelton, 215 W. Washington tE
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21

FOR SALE-Magnifircn Groom residence thoroughly modern with lots of screens and porchcs and every con ceivable convenience and fine fixtures also garage. trees. shrubbery etc. on extra big lot, Indian school car line. only S6000.00. Do it now. See Werner, 130 Center St. l.,
 LIST YOUR PROPERTY WITH Us FOR QUICK RETURNS.
 Vim. NJ Costley X Go.
 Real Estate Exchange,
 r West Adams street. Ig
 BARGAIN-Modern 5-room brick. all conveniences. large stable going away. must sell, see owner. New mann at Donofrios Candy Store. dg
 FOR SALE-New 4-room modern brick. bookcases, buffet, kitchen cabinet. fire place, full set plumbing, screen sleeping room, small cash pay ment, bal. monthly, also smaller 4 room modern brick $10OO0 down, see owner 11O4 F. Mckinley. 5-Js
 FOR SALE-$10O or $200 down modern brick house. rooms balance $25 per month including interest. this SUI tiN DtdlS Day 4ItS LtilN- nun -f'' for information. GROOM alb
 OWNER of handsome. modern. = room residence, best location in city. leaving town for middle west, forced to sell at a sacrifice. Address Box 152. Republican. It
 FOR SALE-New cement block rooming house. 1924 North Third St. on Indian car line. ak
 FOR SALE.
 A room brick house and screen porch walk:no distance, r-rJern. mis = sion finish, built in cabinets book cases, fire place etc. nice lawn an fine old shade Price $265O.90. Terms
 THOMSON -McCANDLISS Co.
 Tel. 1010. Il EAST ADAMS ST
 FOR SALE - Wharton rooming house. dg
 FOR SALE-New brick house. six rooms. all modern. nice location, req sonable price and easy terms. See Sid Henry. l5 \. First Ave. If [ SUBURBAN HOUSE FOR SALE Are you looking for an ideal home place? We have a beautiful new six room brick bungalow, modern in ev- cry particular with 219 acres ground on car line, an abundance of fruit and 1 shade trees of assorted varieties. 75 rose bushes good large barn, fine 1 chicken corral and 150 thoroughbred ! Barred Plymouth Rocks Absolutely 1 soft water piped to house This is undoubtedly one of the finest subur- l ban homes near Phoenix on , cent 1 carfare, and is self supporting, $I5000O cash will handle, balance monthly Let us show you. See owner 41 West | Adams St. If
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21
For Rent-HOuSes

FOR RENT-Phoenix is Growing
 5-room brick modern. $16.0O. 4-room furnished house, $10. Houses and housekeeping rooms in all directions some good buys just like rent Open Sunday. M H. shelton, 215 West Washington t:
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21
For Sale-Miscellaneous

FOR SALE-A piano in good con
 dition at a bargain. 33O E. Taylor
 St dm
 FOR SALE-A good laIies wheel cheap 373 No. 6 Ave. dd
 WINDMILL-Win sell for $5O.OO, 50 it. tower, F 1t. fan. NJ. f. Nun
 ger, 3 miles east of Indian school. al
 FOR SALE-15 acres of 1st class pasture. only 1 mile from Phoenix. Address A. G. $. care Republican. dm
 FOR SALE-Horse and vegetable wagon at Bargain. ZOOS E. Washing ton St. db
 FOR SALE-Cheap. wagon and hay
 frame also fresh COW, big milker. McNulty, g N. 2nd St. db
 PHOENIX-Cararien the finest in the land, all sizes and other palms. Riverside Nursery. Both Phones. db FOR SALE-Underwood typewriter in good condition. Also roH top desk and office chair. II E. Adams. If l PIANO. 1 double seated trap, | 1 pneumatic tire Bailey buggy. Cash 1 or will trade for cattle. w. W. Cook. ] Both phones. $40 No. Fifth Ave ak
 FOR SALE-Make offer on 1000 shares Overland Telephone stock. Ad dress 145 Republican. ak
 RELINQUISHMENTS for sale, some good ones. Salt River and GiIa Valleys $500 to $25OO. Werner, 150 \. Center St. If
 A BARGAIN-One twin lndian and one 1912 Yale motorcycle also a lot of ! 2nd hand bicycles, 132 N. 1st Ave. Pl- oneer cycle Co. If
 FOR SALE-Two second hand safes cheap Phoenix Warehouse Co. Third Ave. and Jackson. If
 FOR SALE-Flying Merkel motor cycles; many other good second hand cars. Bicycle and motorcycle repair ling. Supplies for both. PCT W. Wash ington. If
 We do printing-cards- ter heads-enveopes-c etc, Arizona Republican, both phones. If
 FOR SALE-BaIance of , STAN | DARD guaranteed tubs Tor sale at $l6OO each. GEO. HAGEMAN co. If 1 FOR SALE-Runabout horse and harness. a classy outfit in good con dition. horse is gentle and splendid driver. W. NJ Fickas. r N. 1st Ave. If FIVE POINTS LIVERY-Classy urnouts. hest saddle horses in city, horses broke, bought and sold. Bur- rOs for sale. Babb and Phillips. 220 N. 7th Ave. Phone Overland 10f3 | COMPLETE-Hay baling outfit for sale cheap, if taken at once. John F. Birchett Tempe, Ariz. db VISIT MY STORE-322 w Wash ington and inspect my new and select line of trunks. refrigeratOrs, stoves and ranges. Bargain week J. C. Gibbs. gs
 SOME BARGAINS-For quick sale. Nat Cash Register and Toledo Com putting scales, good as new ice boxes and refrigerators. brand new single lJop buggy and harness. PhX. Fur. Co, 3rd Ave. and Washington. gs
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21
GOOD BUYS

, acres close in and on ear
 line, well improved. Price. $J500.00 10 acres on car line. all in
 grain ..............-... 165.00 20 acres well improved. fine
 soil .................... $5250.0O 40 acres all alfalfa. on corner. $7000.00 80 acres fenced and plowed.
 with water. per acre ...$ 5000 240 acres. with water. per acre $ 2S.00 16O acres we'll improved. all
 in alfalfa. close in and
 sure bargain. Price per acre 155.o0
 Wm NJ. Costley x Co.,
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21

FOR SALE-Get the Phoenix spirit and buy now before prices advance in the beautiful Capitol Addition. See McCabe; he will sell lots to you or for you. This addition is his spe- cialty. Trades of all kinds. McCabe, 42 1-2 West Adams. dg
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21
Auctions

PUBLIC SALES miles west Q
 Phoenix on Yuma road and Il mile north, Wednesday April z4. 1912. Commencing at 1 D. m. I will sell at public auction to the highest bidder on the above date 20 Al dairy COWS Durhams and Holsteins. These are fine individuals and heavy milkers; 3 head work horses. 1 wagon, 1 buggy and harness. Terms: $50 anI un
 der. cash: over $50 six months time; , per cent off for cash Jerry Sulli- van, owner. c. Q. McMurtry, Auc- tiOneer. ak
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21
SWELLING & SONS

Next sale Saturday April 20, cor. First and Monroe streets. Phone 1870 We will sell for the PUBLIC and get you cash for anything you have to sell Sale starts l o'clock. Live stock and farm sale auctiCneers.
 If
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21

G. F. TINSLER-25 years experi- ence Win handle your goods right. Terms right. Gilt edge Phoenix ref erence Will pay highest cash price for household goods. AS West Wash ington St Phone Overland 1349. If
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21
For Sale-Real Estate


 FOR SALE-125 feet frontage on North Central Ave; half interest in 160 acres Section l. I North, East; five forty-acr tracts south side with reservoir water; ten acres on Tempe read with house, barn. corrais, wind mill and pump. Telephone Overland S40S or call on L. NJ Hogbe. dn
 FOR SALE-Two lots in northeast part of city A big snap for cash at s100 per lot less han adjoining property is selling for. See Cranson al I5 N. First Ave. If
 FOUR 25 FIT. LOTS-Adjacent to front of Capitol grounds, facing south on Jefferson street, all for $11500 0O A beautiful lot 112x195 on. CentraI Ave. and West Baltimore Heights for S1.400. A very fine lot in East Ever green addition, one block from car line. size 10X19G a bargain at S100o Terms-Lot 50x137A in Capitol ad- dition with broom brick house. screen porches, hardwood flooring, everything modern, price $3O00.. 5000 down. bal. per cent. beautiful lots in North Evergreen add facing west $500. f beautiful lots in North Evergreen addition facing east each $S50 The above arc choice building lots WI 'h restrictions. See Boon about it, 121is N. First Ave. IL
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21
Wanted-Room and Board
Both Phones.

YOUNG MAN wants room and board, with screen sleeping porch, on ranch in vicinity of Phoenix. State location, terms and full particulars Address 149, Republican. db
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21

AUCTION SALE-Tuesday, April 3, miles west of Phoenix, on Low CT Buckeye road, or 1i2 miles south of Fowler school house. Commenc- ing at 1O: 50 a. m. sharp I will sell at public auction at my ranch on the above date my entire herd of dairy COWS: 70 dairy cows. Holsteins and Durhams, heavy milkers and fine in
 dividuals. w. J. Dawson and son, owners. C. 0. McMurtry, Auctioneer, 5 North 1st Ave, Phoenix. dg
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21
Wanted-Situations Male

MIDDLE-AGED MAN, best char acter, with references, wants position with reliable company; can speak French, Spanish, Italian and English
 Address PA East Madison. dp
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21
FOR SALE.

REIMBURSEMENT - 160 acres. north on Center St at $62.5O an acre. Must be sold at once.
 THOMSON ON-McCANDLISS co. . TEL. 1010 II East Adams St.
 f
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21

c. o. McMURTRY-Exper H-
 censed live stock auctioneer. sell sales anywhere in the state at a reasonable rate; see him before claiming dates. Am judge of values and get the prices. Office Is N. 1st Ave. Both phones If
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21
For Sale-Real Estate
BARGAINS in residences. Ranch and business property, improved or unimproved. Houses to rent
 w K. JAMES,
 37 N. Center St. If

FOR SALE-Snaps-Do it now, 32O acres $5O.0O per acre. 160 acres $125- co per acre. Glendale Loess. alfalfa, close in. so, 40 and 20 acre tracts, the pick of the valley. Werner 13O N. Center If
Arizona republican., 1912-04-21
For Sale or Exchange

EXCHANGE for Phoenix property, 450 acres land. half rolly, half culti- vation: 45-inch rainfall $60 per acre. Pays $2O acre rent w. Y
 Knight, Avery, Red River County, Texas. db