The Detroit times., 1912-10-03
CHAPTER I.
The Beauty Contest.

Il suppose you think yer Venus,
sneered James, remark that he
battered himself was rather classy.
The Watermelon sighed as one
would over ignorance OF child
NO said he, hardly"
Don't let that bloomin modesty ol
yers keep yer from tellin' the truth,
adjured James.
The Watermelon waved the possi
bility aside with airy grace. with
all due modesty, James, said he, Il
can't claim to be a woman.
mot with that hay on yer mug.
agreed Mike, casting a sleepy eye up
ward from where he lay in lazy con
tent In the long, sweet grasses under
the butternut tree.
when was a kid, took a prize
In beauty show" announced James,
with pardonable pride.
melon.
Dog show?" inquired Mike drows-
lily. listening to the pleasing drone OF
bee In a nearby clump OF daisies.
James sat up and ran his fingers
with musing regret through the
coarse stubble on cheeks and chin.
II was three, remember, a cute little
cuss. My hair was yellow and
ma curled it-you know how-all
fuzzy--and | had little white dress
: on. Il was a county fair. got the
first prize for the best lookin kid and
was mugged for the papers. II ! was
shaved now and had on some glad
rags. I'd be a lady killer, all right, all
right"
!" 'Longside OF me- said the Water
! melon, you'd look like q blear-eyed
son of toad"
you! Why, you'd make a balky
horse run, you would"
When me hairs cut, I'm bloomin'
Adonis, not Venus" and the Water
melon drew languidly at an old brok.
en- pipe, warm and comfortable In the
pleasant shade, where soft breezes
wandered ftfully by, laden with the
odors OF the fields in June.
James was skeptical. did " ever
take a prize In a beauty show" he
demanded, still musing upon those by
gone honors.
mo" admitted the Watermelon.
MY old man was a parson, and par
sons kids never have any chance. Be
sides, wouldn't care TO. Too much
like the finest bull in a county fair, or
the best laying hen"
Huh" sneered James. My folks
was OF the bon-ton."
The bon-tons never broke any rec
ords in the beauty line replied the
{ Watermelon. And the bon-tonnier
they are. the uglier,"
Beauty" said James with charm
ing naivete. runs in my family"
1T went so fast in the beginning I,
then, yer family never had chance
TO catch up. returned the Water
melon. Well have beauty show.
just us two"
Inspired by the thought, he sat up
to explain. and Mike opened his eyes
long enough to look each over with
slow scornful derision and mockins
grunt.
James fondled the short stiff hair
on his cheeks and chin and waited for
developments.
The Watermelon went on, We
will meet this afternoon. here, see?
Shaved and with decent duds on. And
Mike can pick the winner"
Mike! He can't tell sick cat
from well one
That's all right. He knows enough
TO tell the best lookn' one between
YOU and me. A blind mug could do
that
But"
I'VE haven't any one else, you
mutt We can't have too much pub
licity In this show. dislike publicity
any way, at any time, and especially
when | have on clothes, borrowed, as
you might say, for the occasion. IL
the gang was here. We could take a
vote, but seein' that they amt, we got
to do with what we got"
Il amt goin' TO get In no trouble
: wild this here burg" declared Mike
Il want quiet Sunday, some place
where | can throw me feet for bite
Of grub and not run no fear of the
dogs taking one first Seer Besides,
it's q decent, law-abidin' burg, God
fearin' and pious; too small To be
made unhappy. You want to take
somethin' yer own size"
'Aw, who's goin' TO hurt the Jerk
water town." demanded the Water
melon with Indignation.
The cost of livin' is goin' up SO
these days, it's gettin' hard even to
batter a handout," groaned Mike,
whose idea OF true beauty consisted
OF a full stomach and a shady place
to sleep on long quiet Sunday after
noon. IL amt goln' to get every
place souBed on me. II the public
gets any more stingy. I'll have TO give
up de turf for a livin', that's all. To
throw a gag will be harder den hod-
carryin'."
I'VE amt goin' to hurt the burg
none," said James.
He rose languidly and stretched.
You be here this afternoon, Mike,
about three, see, or I'll knock yer
block of. It's a nice quiet hangout
and far enough from the village to be
safe I'm goin to get shave and
borrow some duds from the bloomin'
hostelry up yonder to do honor to de
occasion" He Knocked the ashes
from his pipe and slipped 1t into his
pocket. IF you don't get the clothes
and de shave. Watermillion, you'll be
counted down and out, see?"
Sure agreed the Watermelon.
He lay at length on the ground be-
meath the butternut tree and James
paused a moment TO run his eye
critically over him, from his lean face
with It's two-weeks growth OF beard
to his ragged clumsy shoes. James
smiled grimly and drew himself up TO
his full height with just pride. He
was six feet two I'm shoes that might