Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1912-05-28
PRESS CLUB SCOOPS
REPUBLICAN PARTY
HOLDS CONVENTION IN ADVANCE
OF DATE
Chicago Press Club Give Amusing
Burlesque Representation of Po-
litical Convention-Colonel and
his Hat Represented.
Associated Press.

lcago Press Club tonight "scooped"
the republican parry by holding the
national convention almost a month
in advance Of the time set for it,
The convention was held in a down
town theatre before large audience.
Taft Roosevelt, La Toilette, Can
non, Champ Clark, Wilson, Hearst
and even Clark's celebrated "houn'
dawg" were on the stage. About
150 persons took part in the per-
formance. The burlesque was in one
act, it having been announced that
the club would present ''in one act
the many screaming acts of the po-
\ litical leaders of the day."
The curtain rose on convention
scene with the temporary chairman,
newspaper men, telegraph operators
and several delegations in their
| places. few seconds later, the New
York delegation entered. They car
ried banners inscribed Jim Jeffries
Thought So, Too" and 1--WE Are for
Big Built Aft" The lone Roosevelt
delegate was tied and blindfolded.
Roosevelt, claid in cowboy out
fit followed quickly. After exclaim-
ing liars he threw his hat into
the audience Then he described a
chalk ring on the stage and threw
another hat into it. In snappy SEN
ltences he explained that he was not
a candidate for the nomination and
that if he accepted it, he would have
to force himself to do so.
Il have gone all over the country
trying to stop this movement" he de-
clared.
Roosevelt having retired, La Fol
lette and the Wisconsin delegation
appeared. After kicking Roosevelts
hat out of the ring, La Toilette an
nounced his platform, bearing great
ly on the Wisconsin income tax
which, he declared, gave men with
large families large tax exemption.
III man has twelve children,
Roosevelt pays him a compliment;
La Toilette pays him a bonus said
the speaker.
A message arrived for Roosevelt,
and upon being PACED. he decided he
had been nominated so he reentered
the convention and began to thank
its members for the great honor they
had thrust upon him. Informed OF
his error, he replaced his hat in the
ring and then departed.
Amid great disorder Cannon
rushed into the convention. pushed
the temporary chairman from the
plaform and took up the gavel.
I'VE must have harmony" he
shouted, "even if we have to fight
for it,
The Ohio delegation arrived with
President Taft He gave Roosevelt's
hat the customary kick and made
speech.
81 am against the recall" he said.
81 am especially opposed to the re-
call of a president after he Is out.
find nothing in the constitution
about this out agin', in agin' bust
necs, and the constitution must be
preserved. | don't want to move.
hope every man who had to move
May will vote for me"
Champ Clark and his "dawg' fol-
\ lowed the next arrivals, the divided
Missouri delegation. The dog kicked
the hat from the ring and for the
v insult suffered several kicks from
Roosevelt, who replaced the hat.
I Inquiry as to what Clark was doing
/ in a republican convention brought
the reply that he wanted to obtain
some pointers from Roosevelt faction
on how to run the Baltimore gath
ering.
Both Governor Wilson and Hearst.
who appeared after Clark, knocked
the hat out Of the ring with the re-
suit that Roosevelt first glued 1t
down and later put a brick under it,.
Eventually, Taft kicked the brick.
While the nominating speeches
were being made a militant suffra-
gette stormed the convention and
began to assail the various poll
ticians present. She took Taft TO
task for never having written any
Dear Maria letters; Roosevelt be-
cause he wanted the hand that
rocked the cradle to work over time
La Toilette for his hair. which. she
alleged was false; Clark for calling
himself speaker of the house in def
fiance of the well known fact that
a woman has always been the right
: full owner of that title. Wilson, for
n \.