The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-07-06
BY ESTHER GRIFFIN WHITE.

why was it invented?" inquired
Sal.
| Gracious heavens, Sal, list thee-an
instructor of youth-that asks the
why of this our great national holiday
when our forefathers-'
Enough cried Sal dramatically.
This is not celebration"
NO, thank-er thank heaven"
said the cynic.
"The Fourth of July" went on Sal,
sis worse than Christmas. The only
difference is you can get out of doors
on the Fourth and thus ooze by gradu-
ated manouvers into the offing and no
one will notice.
Not even after you've gone fin
ished the cynic.
Brute" cried Sal Still don't
care what you say. | don't want to be
missed on the Fourth of July. That is
if it's family party. Family parties are
without any exception past, present or
future, at any time o. year, the most
IA"
i
agree! They are the most-a-a-!"
| We'll, anyway, you know what |
want to say but am restrained by con-
siderations of what's expected of me
| because I'm a woman"
why this modest and shrinking re-
! straint?" inquired the cynic. 'A1l the
women say damn nowadays"
Sir. How d-d-d-dare you!" exclaim-
ed Sal. But anyway family parties on
the Fourth of July are an awful form
of alleged entertainment.
Aunt Methitable calls you up on
the telephone and says you are to take
cake and pickles and anything else
| you want to. That We are to meet on
Uncle Abner's lawn at two o'clock to
| listen to history of the Waynetown
branch to be read by Cousin Eliza
| BroWn-Smith, who is well known in
the literary world as the author of
How Oft I Think of Thee. and other
nearpoems and is president for
the Thirteenth District of the Inter
national Federation of Mothers
why I thought Cousin Eliza-Smith
Brown was still an unattached vir-
gin" interrupted the cynic.
Stupid! Everybody belongs to this
Mothers affair-even men,
"Ah-proceed," murmured the Gym
ic.
and her researches into the ram
ifications of our family have been at
once vast and Misunderstanding has
escaped her Aunt Mehitable says it
will be a treat. That after the paper
which will possibly occupy the time
untilNhalf past four. there will be music
by Pearl, Mary and Adelaide who will
perform on the violin and piano and
bers by the boys
who in the name of George Wash
ington are the boys interpolated the
cynic curiously.
"Oh any of 'em they can get togeth-
er among the second generation-Un
Gle Abner. Cousin Pete, Lizzie's hus-
band and Eddie, possibly
This, of course, gives you great iov.
since none of 'em can sing, especially
together. Their repertoire, hastily
made up in the grape arbor, is an
agreeable commingling of classic Of
ferings with excerpts from the latest
vaudeville ditties.
Aunt Mehitable asks for Home
Sweet Home Pull For the Shore
Down on the Swanee River, and
Where is My Wandering Boy To-
night while the kids vociferate for AL
exander's Ragtime Band and hushed
appeals for 'Dearie' emanate from the
hammock swung in the deepest shade
of the old apple tree
During this musical interval all sit
with fixed glances on the horizon the
while Adelaide. who has been taking
course in the Greentown Conserva-
tory, writhes in visible agony.
Then Uncle Abner suggests the
grandsons carry out the parlor organ
and all join in regular old time sing
ing spree ending with gospel hymns
and "America',-the relations stand
ing respectfully. and with heads bow
ed
Through reverence or exhaustion ~
asked the cync
shame" cried Sal You're no bet
ter than the man without a country
Have you no patriotism?"
Not at family party" grinned the
cynic.
In the meantime the sun has shift
ed so that you are aware it is blister
ing the back of your lovely white neck
and are only consoled because if is
burning Cousin Eliza Brown-Smith's
nose.
You consign her to much hotter
place. together with the family tree
root and branch. and wonder why
you didn't leave town the week before
as you intended and only waited be-
cause you wanted the check from the
school board before starting.
In the meantime Uncle Abner is
calling for "reminiscences of pioneer
days from great Uncle Joshua with an
addendum to the civil war from Col
onel Jabez Doolittle who has been in
vlted because everybody is so sorry
for him having no family with which
to spend the Fourth of July.
BY this time the kids are firing off
toy pistols and giant fire-crackers. the
half-and-halfs are playing horse-shoes
and croquet. the women are melting
into the rearward regions and the sem
4 toll