The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1912-07-28
How to Be Real English
BY WINIFRED BLACK.

THE English newspapers are hav-
Il Ing a fine time worrying about
the dreadful Americans" these days.
'Such voices. such manners. such
creatures altogether"
And Mrs, Davenport OF New York
Is in print In defense of our sisters,
and our cousins, and our aunts, and
our uncles. and all the rest Of the
family.
Davenport, lis that the old fas shioned
woman is too we'll remembered The
quiet, dlgnified Americans are not
noticed in Europe. they are taken for
English" Oh, what relief! Taken
for Englsh-ony fancy.
And yet it is very. easy TO be taken
for English. even in England. All
there is TO do Is TO be rude and just
a bit awkward and more than bit
snobbish to those beneath you or
more than trihe obsequious to those
above you; never answer any we'll
meaning stranger who dares address
a harmless remark TO you.
Never travel Hrst-class, It costs
money, Wrap up In a NANCY rug
and freeZe-like an Englishman.
Don't have a fire in your bed-sit-
ting room. only American Bounders
do that sort OF thins. Wear bed socks
over your shoes; tie up Your poor
head In knitted scarf like grandma
used TO make: perhaps some Boily
Illkee IlIaS ldNG pity UIl you 6lIu
vlte you In to sit by his fire where
YOU can watch the really dreadful way
he fuses over his poor wife and
makes her take the warmest seat
only fancy--and sits in the draught
himself Isn't 1t amusing?
When YOU meet u Frenchman. glare
at him-he isn't English.
Never miss n chance to tell Ger
man what a boor he must be to be
German.
,ols,
Ing In liquid music. smile at another
E.ngllshman and lift contemptuous
eyebrows over the language of Tasso.
That's English,
II you're man. wear clothes that
look as If they really belonged TO
your giant big brother have a coat
that rides up in the collar, put on
boots that weigh a ton more or less.
throw away that good cigar. get a
pipe and smoke 1t all over the place,
ladies or no ladies.
II you're woman and want TO be
taken for English. that's easy. too
almost too easy,
Get the worst hat YOU can find, the
one you bought for $3.50 at the coun-
try store the day the motor skidded
Put some more flowers on it-bluer
ones. redder ones, purpler ones-tie
them on with battered ribbon, give
the hat TO Fido TO play with an hour
or so, and then flatten II down over
How awfully English-regular Bond
street effect
Get out the old tweed skirt. too
short. too scant. little longer in
me BACK than In front Where's that
coat the maid had In the mountains
last year? Short wasted, is IL?
That's right Now there YOU ara
regular plccadlly dream. No ona
VIII ever accuse YOU OF being Amer
lean
As 10 the tnannero or N. u,o,,,
man and the American class there
Is no comparison. The Englishnan
has manner. yes. But We are speak,
Ing OF manners.
when his wife comes into the room
and make her sit In the drauehf
The average Enslishman will pull out
chair for his wjfe-and give her the
tough part OF the steak
The average Enslishman wouldn't
when you are no longer a stranger
he. tells you his whole family history
before you have known him a week.
He'll actually make fun OF his
mothers ideas and reveal family
Wild horses drag out OF him.
Courteous? What do you call cour-
tssy7 The, proper lifting of hat.
the exact shade Of manner at the ex-
act time for it' The Enslishnan
nus tiih'. put TX courtesy means what
We think II does here in this ter
rihle America OF ours-klndness. con-
slderation, sympathy-there cannot
be the least discussion,
The old-fashioned American talked
bit loud. he Dragged a good deal,
maybe he did estimate everything by
tho amount OF money Il cost. but he
never took the snug side OF the car
riegs away from a woman In his
life. he never told Of his mothers
weakness 10 any man alive. and he
would have died cheeHully rather