davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01
Us Talk 1t
Over

Well, dear sinner friends, this is
The Fool-Killer.
How does it set on your stomach?
If you like it, you al get more at
Headquarters.
The Fool-Killer is not even a forty
'1eventh cousin to any other paper on
earth.
It stands in a class by itself. and
its field is ss broad as the English
language.
This paper wears no bell. muzzle,
cellar nor halter.
You can put that down to start with.
I am the fellow who works at the
pump-handle on this pungent period
ical of thrilling thought. I print only
what / write; I write only what ]
think; and I think what / doggon
please.
/ own this entire establishment,
and Rockefeller isn't rich enough to
buy one share of it.
OOOS tf0k 6OuuO 0IA0160s
Well, bless your soul, / I'M q great
deal richer than old John.
/ never travelled any to speak of,
but / have read q great deal, and have
thunk some.
have also writ a few books which
I know are great, because they don't
sell worth a cent.
Great books never do.
And then / started The Fool-Killer
just to quiet my nerves and keep the
cid press from getting rusty.
From the seclusion of these wooded
hills there will go forth each month
q bundle Of literary dynamite thai
will shake the rotten foundations o,
society and cause the Church Of Nam
mon to at least turn wei in its sleep
The Fool-Killer will be a month";,
mustard-plaster for the blood-boils o
Society, Church and State.
It will be sailed with wit, pepperet
with humor and seasoned with sar
caam.
livery limo will cut like 2 whip, AM
every word viii raise . blister.
Hyou are . fool You had better no
subscribe for The Eool-Killer. j
you are wise ron Will. And % cha
settles Il
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01
LIGHT UP, LADIES!

LII
Dear ladies', with the winning
smile,
And charms so rich and rare,
And have you learned the latest
style
OF fixing up your hair?
The lords of fashion lately met
In old Chicago town
Three thousand of the SWEETEST
set
And laid the ruling down.
And now when you go out Of
nights,
You pretty fashion girls,
You've got to have electric lights,
A-gleaming in your curls.
10 visit the electric man
And tell him what I've SAID,
And let him draw you up a plan
For wiring up your head.
A storage battery in your hat
For momentary use;
A switch hid somewhere in your
rat
For turning on the juice.
The tiny globes, all neatly formed,
And then a man would swear
That all the 1ightning-bugs had
swarmed
And settled in your hair.
By Nedl And won't that be the
stuff?
| reckon, pretty soon,
The ladies will give lightenough
Without the sun and moon.
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01

Old Ike Stephenson paid twice as
much for his seat in the Senate as
his salary will amount to in six
years. Do you smell anythingg
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01

Is Mr.. Bruce Ismay a woman
or a child? His name appears a.
mong the list of women and chill
-dren'' saved from the sinking Ii
tanic.
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01

You might as we'll try to pull an
auger-hole out of a log as to I'M
dertake keeping the drotted mil
lionaire grafters out of the Senate.
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01

Washing the black off Of a mig
ger would be an easy job compared
with cleaning up them twin pole
cats Of the Senate-Lorimer and
Stephenson.
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01

/ am due my correspondents an.
explanation of my failure to an
sWer many letters that should
have been answered. I have SO
much Of the mechanical work Of
the Office to do that it is literally.
impossible for me to keep up with
my correspondence. To new sub
scribers and club-senders let me
say that the arrival of the paper
will acknowledge the receipt Of
your remittance.
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01

An exchange says: 1.-THE devil
will be to pay at the Chicago con-
vention.n Oh, surely not! 1t will
be a pretty out if the devil can't
trust his own children.
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01

The Jelly wabble'' dance is the
latest. They say-it looks like a bale
of cotton trying to hug a fodder
stack.
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01

Rotten mule-belly favored with
mortified dog-ham is al right-so
says the jury. Thus ends the IA
nous sham battle against the meat
trust. Now pass your plate and
have some more canned boss.
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01
The preacher says the love Of
money is the root Of all evil. And
then he passes the hat.

/ was determined not to mention
Rockefeller's name in this issue.
Well, I'll swear! There tits at last.
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01

A pretty girl with both of her
perambulators squeezed into one
leg Of a dudes breaches! If this
hobble business keeps on, the girls
will have to learn to hop like
snow-birds.
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01

Are you a Redemopublicrat, or
a Demopublicratican or a Publ
demremocrat, or a Canodemreli-
can, or a Redempubolican, or q
IDENTITY Dimity ~ dog-bite-it-all
what are you, anyhow?
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01
TAKE NOTICE.

TAKE NOTICE!
Do not send postage stamps on sub
Jcription.
Remittances should be made by
registered letter, express or p~ostof1ce
money order.
Be careful to write your own name
and address plainly, and direct all
letters and make, all orders payable
to:
THE FOOL-KILLER,
Merayian Falls, North Carolina.
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01

Entered as second class matter
March 80, 1910, at the postofice at
Moravian Falls. N. G., under the act
Of March 8, 1879.
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01
THE Die
TIONARY.

without any apologies to Webster. J
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01

One year to your heart. Is Cents.
in Clubs of Five or More. Is Cents.
The fool-killer., 1912-05-01
EDITORIALS.
Why don't they pass alaw abol-
ishing icebergs2

i
The preacher says the love Of
money is the root of all evil. And
then he passes the hat.
/ was determined not to mention
Rockefeller's name in this issue.
I'll swear! There tits at last.
The Jelly wabble" dance is the
latest. They say-it looks like a bale
Of cotton trying to hug a fodder
stack.
You might as we'll try to pull an
auger-hole out of q log rs to I'M
dertake keeping the drotted mil
lionaire grafters out of the Senate.
Old Ike Stephenson paid twice as
much for his seat in the Senate as
his salary will amount to in six.
years. Do you smell anything
Is Mr.. Bruce Ismay a woman
or a child? His name appears D.
mong the list of women and chill
-dren'' saved from the sinking Ii
tanic.
Washing the black off Of a mig
ger would be an easy job compared
with cleaning up them twin pole
cats Of the Senate-Lorimer and
Stephenson.
An exchange says: ssThe devil
will be to pay at the Chicago con-
vention. Oh, surely not! 1t will
be a pretty out if the devil can't
trust his own children.
-
A pretty girl with both of her
perambulators squeezed into one
leg Of a dudes breaches! If this
hobble business keeps on, the girls
will have to learn to hop like
snoW-birds.
50
Are you a Redemopublicrat, OF
a Demopublicratican, or a Publ
demremocrat, or a Canodemreli-
can, or a Redempubolican, or .
IDENTITY Dimity - dog-bite-it-all
what are you, anyhow
-
Rotten mule-belly favored with
mortified dog-ham is al rights
says the jury. Thus ends the f..
NOUS sham battle against the meat
trust. Now pass your plate anc
have some more canned boss.
/ am due my correspondents II
explanation of my failure to an
sWer many letters that shoule
have been answered. I have 81
much of the mechanical work 8.
nGon ~ ID that - - o~~ H.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
MAY ENJ0IN
COPALIS ROAD
Road Fund Oyerdrawn, and
Legality May Be Cues
toned in the Courts

Charles Mcintyre, pioneer citizen
of Copalis, and former county COM
missioner, was in the city this week,
and Is quite indignant over the ex-
penditure of $4,000 on the new road
from Aloha to Pacific Beach, via
Stearnsville, and will in all probabil.
ity contest the legality of the con.
tract, which is already let, in the
courts. The county road and bridge
fund is now overdrawn beyond the
limit, and, it is alleged that this ex-
pensive road is being built to accomo-
date private parties rather than the
public, and that it would really be
public service either to enjoin the
work before it goes any farther, or to
enjoin the issuance and payment of
the warrants should the commission
ers undertake to pay for the work.
The building of this road has a sus-
picious appearance, to say the least
when it is considered that all attempts
to secure roads to accommodate set
tiers in the Quiniault country and on
North river, where many of them have
been waiting more than 20 years for
road connection with the Harbor,
have met with the statement from
the county commissioners that there
was no money available. What
makes the residents of Copalis par
ticuarily sore, is that the road be-
tween Copalis Crossing and the Co.
pals river, about four miles, requires
to be graveled, but all efforts to in
duce the commissioners to make the
small appropriation have met with
eth response, mo funds" In the face
of this, the board finds-or pretends
to fnd-$35, 900 for a road in that
immediate vicinity, for which there
has been absolutely no public demand.
1t is said that should the contrac-
tors be enjoined from continuing the
work, they would have an action for
damages against the commissioners
personally. In any event, the road is
likely to find it's way into court.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
THE COUNTY
COMMISSIONERS
Cancel Sale of Bonds--Allow
McKillip a Clerk--Sell
Cruisers Outfits

MONTESANO, May 22.-At the
meeting Of the board of county com.
missioners Monday, the persistence OF
County Superintendent McKillip won
out, and he was allowed a clerk, at
salary Of $500 a year, and the fric.
tion between his Office and the COM
missioners will probably cease.
J. B. Mullenix was given permis.
sion to operate a log chute over the
East Satsop road, under a bond of
$3.50.
The contract for improving Per.
manent Highway No. 8, was awarded
to Lyon & Irwin for $6,62S.OO.
E. H. Rollins & Son, who were the
successful bidders for the $15O,OOO
bond issue, having failed to come
through with the money, the board,
by resolution. cancelled the contract
All the equipment of the county
cruisers, consisting of compasses,
staffs, tents. ETC., was ordered turned
over to the county engineer, and he
was authorized to sell the compasses
and staffs for $40 each.
The engineer was directed to make
an examination of the road petition
ed for by C. D. Hansen and others
d. w. Drew was appointed justice
Of tho
The salary of the county physician
was increased from $25 to $50 a
month, commencing June 1.
A liquor license was issued to C.
A. Cooper, at Moclips.
The following double payment of
taxes were rebated: Hoquiam Wa
ter Co., s3.45; John Milhofer, s4.2S.
The treasurer was directed to ac-
cept $12.54 in full of taxes on the
NEH of Sec 1929 the same being
assessed as timber lands while they
We're logged-off lands.
Personal property taxes of B. H.
Compton and Robert Peterson were
stricken from the rolls, as being ex-
empt by law
The assessed valuation of Lots 3
and 4, Blk. TO- w. e BIS Add, Aber-
deem. was reduced from $500 to S4OO.
The treasurer was authorized to ac-
cept $5.57 in full of taxes for 1908
on Lot 20, Blk. 12, Karr's Garden
Add, Hoquiam, and the original tax
for 1910 on the Ne of the SEA of
Sec 27-19-11
The board adjourned to meet We'd
nesday. May %
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
UNIONS
DEMANDS REFUSED
International Officials Fail in Attempt
to Gain Recognition Of Union
At Aberdeen.

NJ. V. O'Connor, of Buffalo, y. Y,
president of the international Long
shoremen' Union. and j. A. Madsen,
of Portland. Pacific district secretary,
were in conference Tuesday with the
officials of the Grays Harbor Steve
dore Company regarding the labor
conditions on Grays harbor.
The Grays Harbor Stevedore CON-
pany is operated as an open shop con-
Germ. No discrimination is used
against union men, it is asserted and
the working conditions and wage
scale are said to be satisfactory to
the union men. The sticking point
was the recognition of the union.
After a lengthy conference the un-
ion officials gave up their attempt to
get recognition and left for Portland.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
PARADE TO BE LED
BY A TEAM OF ELK
Animals Broken to Harness at Lake
Quiniault to Take Part in the
Portland Procession

One big train with two engines Will
leave Aberdeen and Hoquiam on the
evening of July II for Portland. car
rving $50 Grays Harbor Elks togeth-
er with the two live elks, to attend
the national convention.
Next week the elk, which were
captured several years ago, will ar
rive with their trainer from Lake
Ouiniault. Word from the up-country
Yesterday was to the effect that the
animals are already we'll trained to
the harness
lin and Jack, as they are known,
will be brought to Aberdeen to be-
come accustomed to street traffic. The
elk, followed by the Aberdeen delega-
ton, will lead the Elks' parade.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
IN THE INSURANCE BUSINESS

Frank G. Jones has secured the
agency of some old line, reliable in
surance companies, and has engaged
in the fire insurance business, and
will open an office as soon as he Sc
cures a suitable location.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
TEAMSTER INJURED

HOQUIAM, May 23-Herman Telto,
teamster at the Eureka mill, was
caught between a load of lumber and
lumber pile and his arm was broken
yesterday afternoon. Telto was TAX
ing a truckload of lumber through a
passage way in the yards and in turn
ing a corner his left arm was pinch
ed between the truck and lumber
pile and both bones broken. He was
taken to the hospital in the ambu-
lance.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
Maneuvers Will Put Theory
of Vulnerability of the
Coast to the Test
CAMPAIGN WILL BE HARD
Coming War Game to Be
Played on Conditions
Similar to Hostilities

When Gen. Homer Lea, in his book
1.-The Valor of Ignorance, story
dealing with the unpreparedness OF
the United States in time of war,
pointed out how an invading army
could land at Grays Harbor, push
eastward to Centralia, cut the railroad
line of communication there and
quickly shut off both Seattle and Ia
coma on the north and Portland on
the south by guarding the Cascades
to prevent any assistance from the
East, he little realized that an actual
test of the strength of the American
forces in the West would be made
under his own plan of action. Such,
however, will be the case when TO-
900 troops begin their maneuvers in
July in the Chehalis valley.
Campaign to Be lard
Preparations for the two big arm
les are now being made and when
the first troops arrive they will find
everything in readiness for the ten
days campaign. 1t will be no play
this year, as every company, regi-
ment and division will be put through
the most rigid test.
For two days at least 5000 troops
will be camped at Elma. These
troops will come from three states
and represent the national guards.
This army will be known as the blues
and will have Aberdeen for it's source
of supplies. Somewhere in the vi
cinity of Chehalis 5000 soldiers rep
resenting the red army will be camp
ed. The war game will begin at a
given time and the two armies will
march in the direction Of Gate. Some
where in the vicinity of this little
village the two forces will clash.
No Snap for Anybody.
"The plan to be worked out this
year is something altogether new,
said an officer "The men will get
a real taste of warfare. 1t will be
no snap for either men in the ranks
or the officers. For ten days the mim-
ic warfare will be waged. Both arm
les will be fully equipped for field
duty and it is probable that some
long midnight hikes will be made.
Officers of the regular army as well
as the national guard have hard
study and work ahead of them.
EVERY stream, valley and farm
house in this vast territory will be
marked and, in fact, maps OF the en-
tire section to be traversed by the
armies will be gone over carefully
before the maneuvers take place. War
problems of every kind will be work.
ed out"
Rations to Be Purchased
Rations for the men and horses OF
both armies will be purchased at varl'
GUS points along the line Of march.
Officers of the regular army have al
ready taken care of this detail of
the maneuvers.
To crafty the desire of hundreds
of residents of Grays Harbor to wit
ness a part of the maneuvers, eXcur-
sion trains will run from Aberdeen
and Hoauiam to the front during the
ten days of army workout.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
EukS LODGES TO JOIN
IN FLAG DAY EXERCISES

A suggestion has been made, that
in all probability will be adopted, that
the Elks lodges of Aberdeen and Ho-
GUAM join in the observance of Flag
Day, June IA, and that appropriate
exercises be held at Electric Park
The matter may be discussed tonight
at the meeting of the Aberdeen lodge.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23

CONTINUED to page eight).
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-08-13
COAST LINE SETS
NEW HIGH LEVEL
Entire Stock List Responds to
Improvement in Business
Conditions.
BY CHARLES w. STORM

NEW YORK, Aug 12.-The favora BILE
character of news concerning the crop
ana industrial outlook published today
caused a steady opening in the stock mar
throughout the list. Good gains were
made by many of the leading railroads
ana industrialS and firmness was also dis
played in the specialties group.
Among the initial advances were the
following: Steel common 3, Amalga-
mated Copper !. Erie common Is, Balti-
more and ohio a., Reading q, Union Pac-
Tic Is, Missouri Pacific y, Canadian
Pacific "a, Southern Pacific y The de-
cllnes were inconsequential. There was
considerable activity at the outset, but
at the end of fifteen minutes trading be-
came trife slower
The curb was strong. Americans in
London made gains over New York par
'ty and reflected a confident tone.
strength displayed in the market dur
ing the forenoon was almost wholly due
to outside buying. According to brokers
watching the trading, banking interests
and the large operators usually aggressive
the early trading. Price movements were
IN the direction of higher figures, but the
only important gains were in specialties.
After midday the tone of the market
became easier and many issues reflected
profit taking sales by some of the more
confined to small fractions in most cases
and did not indicate any material change
in the speculative position. United States
Steel common, after selling at 732s, yield
ed to 1874, and a number Of other in
dustrials sold at the same amount of
concessions from the early high range.
Stocks closed steady.
Government bonds unchanged. Other
bonds firm
Stock quotations:
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-08-13
NEWS AND GOSSIP
Of the FIeeCy Staple

NEW YORK. Aug 70 -Carnenter Rag-
got & Co: NCFadden in+eraGts ana cor9-
mission houses continue m sell The snii-
ing has been very heavy ali Sav Snne ~
II seems 70 Ia y,tSi,,FS al Jay sumo ~
large SPOT interests SbiIo ~ neI, % me
port seems to he nroft-talyirs h,, ~
While the news is buuiSb ~. fya5a ana
those who arc ~ - out'I9" tilc Na"f anu
majority bearish 0TiG,, seem f 10 De IN
sequence inst now. Wills We 6aIiaya IN ~
timately higher prices looks as fbnufIb
market may go some lover eT"S Do 'i'o"s Il
Liverpool Was Weak ANA orr market
was heavily sold on the oDening said To
be on more favora bl -, 80 s. S''G n, ~
Times-Democrat rep@rt Sicb eb aIw a a1
Improvement in conditions Commission
house sentiment or0,,,,S ~ I'M. %
very bearish VIC ms o''''''i''e'
Following are If M bids in Non,
York: October. il 50. December II IS.
January II "a. Nrorrb T., 60 0'''N'l' LOO
NEW ORLEANS Aug - EIa,.c,ard g.
Clark: The weather man shows yor,- "a :
vorable conditions. cloudI, in eo,,tb TeVss
partly cloudy in central states fair north
ern half Texas, Oklaboma ana AtIa6tics
Only moderate to light a+tnrad showers
in central states nracticai1v M ,atD IN
western states and AtIantirS Tndicationg
are for partly cloldy nnssihiv some Iiqb +
local showers eXCept fair in north TeTa {
and Oklahoma
Washington forecast for week. Tenn
perature will be nearer slightly above
normal and preclpitation Iight and local
coming week in southern states
Houston Texas. receives 463 nov,
bales today Advices from south Texas
and also from central Texas say rapid in
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-08-13
GRAIN.

CHICAGO, Aug. 3.-Wheat was under
some pressure at the opening today and
prices were Ad3sc lower News from
abroad was rather bullish with the &C
Ceptances smaller for cargoes and parcels
NQrthWestern and Canadian wheat re-
celpts were smaller than a year ago
September corn was up to roc on shorts
buying, showing an advance of 1ac over
last night. The December and May were
a shade lower under liberal offerings
oats were a shade better for the Sep
tember, while December and May were
fraCtiOnally lower.
Hog products were up a trife on the
strength in hogs at the yards.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-08-13
.SHORTSCOVERON
ADVANCING GRAIN
Market Declines in Early Trade
on Better Weather, But
Rallies Later.

CHICAGO, Aug. 12.-Wheat showed the
loss of a to 9sc on the putting out OF
short lines by the Northwest and the
fact that spectators refused to follow
the strength abroad
Corn was "a to a sc lower early, but this
was fully regained later and on the Sep
TENDER sc was added on shorts buying
The present weather is more favorable
for the growing crops
oats were fractionally better for nearby
months. while deferred options were a
shade easier.
There was little change in provisions.
although hogs at the yards were to 1Oc
higher.
Following lower prices early wheat
tlrmed up on the decrease in the visible
report and closed u to nc higher Com
mission houses were on both sides of the
market, while cash houses continued to
sell September against country pur-
chases.
Corn closed irregularly, prices ranging
from Is to Nc to lie higher with Septem-
Der showing the greatest gain. Specula-
tive selling pressure was all on the new
crop futures.
Oats ranged from hc higher to 40
lower. The September delivery was q
drag on the rest of the market.
Provisions were firm and higher all
around. Trade was large.
CHICAGO GRAIN MARKET
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-08-13

It's like getting money from home, for
its money easily made by reading, using
and answering the Want Ads in The
Georgian: Few people realize the many
opportunities offered them among the
small ads. It's a good sign that if the peo-
pie did not get results from the Want Ads
so many of them. If. for nothing else, sit
down and check off the ads that appeal to
you. You will be astonished how many OF
them mean money to you. The Want Ad
pages are bargain counters in every line
The ads age so conveniently arranged that
they San be picked out very easy.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-08-13
POULTRY, BUTTER AND EGGS.

quiet; turkeys l8623; chickens, '12025
fowls, isaac; ducks, 18d18Ia Live poul-
try steady; chickens, 1Sm2O; fowls, 10
turkeys, IA, roOsters, 1917, ducks, IA
geese, Il. Butter unsettled, creamery
specials, 25G26; creamery extras, 2GIa a
q; state dairy. tubs, 2lM25l2, process
specials 24024l9
Eggs firm nearby white fancy 3lN32
nearby blown fancy. 24u26; extra frsts
2312 q 25; firsts, 20d2l
Cheese steady; white milk specials
l512 q 1874; whole milk fancy, l50l5la
skins, specials, 12IaM12%: skins, fine
1912 d1115; fun skins, 61amS1a
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-08-13
TODAY'S MARKET OPENINGS
COTTON.

NEW YORK, Aug. 13.-Weak cables
and favorable weather conditions caused
the cotton market at the opening today to
snow a net loss of to 10 points from the
previous close. The August and Septeml
Der options on the decline reached the
Decent level. After the call the market
developed a steadier tone and a DISPOSE
tlon exists among some big professionals
Tor higher prices, and through their ag-
gressiveness prices rallied a few points
IN most active positions from the early
range. -'
Futures in Liverpool easy; spots easier
and in moderate demand