The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1912-10-01
WHEN Mr.. PHIlBlN
WENT ON THE STAGE
BY FLORENCE NEYhARI.

speaking OF trials" said Mrs. Phil
I bin in a conversational tone. ALBERT
has gone on the stage!"
Not really?" the other women
shrieked after they had caught their
breaths.
mo-" said Mrs. Philbin. mot really
just on the amateur stage. But it's
lots worse than real acting. don't
know anything better calculated to
his heels. buy new neckues and gen.
orally conduct himself In a kittenish
way than request that he lend his
presence to an amateur production. II
holsters him up in his secret convic.
ton that he Is perfect mine Of un.
discovered genius.
"'Oh, MOI he said at first. You
don't want me! never acted In any.
thing in my life and l can't do It! I'd
ruin the piece! Get some one else!
Id ruin the piece! Get some one
else!' Afterward he told me that he
hated to disoblige them but he really
couldn't do It, l congratulated him on
his good sense. whereupon he looked
at me as though he had caught me
trying to poison him. He said he re-
gretted to see how little confidence
had in his ability and was panied
at my exhibition Of jealousy.
Then he raced to the phone and
told the committee that just to obige
them and help them out of hole he'd
take the part.
after that Albert was lost to the
family. He passed three whole eve.
nings running his hands through his
hair and memorizing his part. If I
spoke to him he would stare at me
wildly as though he belonged to an
other sphere and resented my advent
into 1t.
After he went to the first rehearsal
life became very hard at home be-
cause Albert took to going over what
he called the business Of his part. It
is dlsconcerting to have a man, even
II he IS your husband. rush at you
from behind portieres and wander
about with the furniture in his hands
mutterlnS 10 nlmSeH!
MRS. Lemmock called one evening
and walked In just as Albert tore
through from the dining room into the
parlor shaking his fist and yelling, I
have you now, you moral leper, and
your life-your life Is not worth an
hours purchased You can't blame
Mrs. Lemmock for taking 1t person.
ally. especially as Albert's fist was
flourished within an inch of her nose.
During this time IL remarked to
Albert that the cook was going to
leave he would stare at me and say,
Scat last, Montmorency. have un-
masked you!' 1t was impossible to
carry on any conversation with Albert
for weeks He was always bursting
out with bits OF his part. Finally he
insisted on my learning the part that
dovetailed witA his so that he could
practice at home.
Now, I love my husband and al
ways try to please him, but I consider
this my crowning act of self-sacrifice.
Ofcourse Albert was working for pub
lie applause. but Is any enc wants to
know what is my idea of zero in
pleasant pastimes should mention re.
hearsing part that you aren't going
to play. Anyhow, It's upsetting to
have your own husband lean over you
tenderly, gaze into your eyes and
make desperate love to you in dime
novel style! It makes you feel so
queer!
"Ry the third rehearsal Albert had
begun to talk about his art and to
speak of well known stage people ~
their first names. He mentioned the
public as though he had 1t eating out
OF his hand and he adopted the stage
walk. When he stalked downstairs he
thudded like a camel and when he
stalked upstairs I always thought OF
elephants. He knocked all the bric.a-
brac to pieces parading through the
rooms and when he talked he either
doomed or hissed He demanded po
tatoes in voice Of tragedy and took
to standing before mirrors In profile.
frowning over his shape. He said the
mirrors were old and worn out and
gave him a curve out instead OF
curve In.
"He got terribly fretful and when
objected he told me that should
make allowances for the artistic tenn
permanent and that the stage manager
had told him II he had gone on the
stage when he was youth he un-
doubtedly would have rivaled Mans
| field Albert gloomed and tyrannized
and had me jumping six ways at once
hunting up his costume and buying
grease paint and eyebrow pencils and
false hair and letting him repeat his
part to me and assuring him that he
was enhancing in it.
when | was worn to shredS the
play was given and | had my revenge.
l went around into the wings to see
If Albert needed any help and fell
over shivering crouching, chatter
ing individual trying to hide between
canvas tree and a rustic gate. To