Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1912-01-17
Three Straight
Games

by Michael j. Porter


If the man selling a patent churn
or washing machine had appeared in
the village of Hillsdale he might pos
sibly have made sale, but it would
only have been after week and
after he had listened to the gossip OF
the village and taken seeming inter-
est.
The stranger would have learned
that Nancy Friars, the old maid, had
almost taken a dose of paris green
because she had to go home alone
from prayer meeting; that Mr.. George
Scott and wife were thinking OF sep
arating because she liked Goldfish and
he didn't; that Tom Henderson, the
carpenter, had been disappointed in
love, and that it had made a wreck OF
him; that old Mrs Travers was using
a wrinkle remover and many, many
other things. The biggest and best
thing would have been saved till the
last, and he would have been expect
ed to exclaim that it was fierce.
g Philetus Narmore was feature in
Hillsdale. He was forty-five years old
and widower; he owned the wooden
ware factory and sung bass in church
on Sunday; he was in charge of the
fireworks on the Fourth of July, and
he had been known to give five dol
lars to the heather of Africa all at
once; he had brought about the arrest
If horse thief, and he had speculated
in Wall street and made $2S. The
stranger would have been told this
astounding news as an appetizer,
and then the real corn beef and cab
bage would have been set before
him.
There were three widows in Hills
dale when Mr.. Narmore became a
widower. 1t was four weeks after
the death of his wife before he
smiled in public. Two hours later the
gossips were betting two to one that
he would marry one of the widows
within six months. He didn't, how
ever. He didn't within year. He
didn't at ALL
1t was said that any one of the
three widows would give her old
shoes to catch the widower. This
was probably exaggerated Had he
proposed to Mrs. Dakin, Mrs. Stevens
or Mrs. Everett the proposal would
have been received with downcast
eyes and taken under advisement
| There would have been no rushing
into his arms. In month or so he
would have got his answer. 1t woulC
have been a timid yes or no. The
chances were even that he would have
been turned down.
Mr. Narmore called on each of thu
widows. Why not? The gossips saie
he was counting, but they were mis-
taken. He called to talk about the
weather, potato bugs, church affairs
fly screens and things of that sort. H,
always sat with his hat in his hands
and he always rose up exactly will
the clock striking nine.
Each of the three widows received
private and confidential advice as t.
, how to "catch" the WidOwer MAJ
, more. They should invite him t.
dinner; they should shipper; the
should look at him coyIy and archly
they should sigh and talk OF thei
? loneliness; they should boast OF thei
/ economy and how much work the.
: could get through with in day Eve
old maids who had never had bea
and never would have one sat dow
and looked as wise as Solomon an
4 said:
, ''Ah, if you only understood no,
I to handle man as we'll as | do you
e bring Mr.. Narmore to his knees witt
in a week"
9 Perhaps the three widows didn
/ want to marry again. Perhaps, bl
s for the arrival of a fourth widow i
the village they would not have r
sorted to rats and puffs and powde
and told white lies about their age
The fourth widow was Mrs. Harpe
She was no younger or more attra
tive than the other three Sne We
o seemingly handicapped by trailing
! at the end of the string.
u Within a week Mrs. Harper hs
: heard all the gossip. Within a fol-
y night she had been introduced to M
= Narmore. Within month she ha
e sent for her father to pay her a Wis
= He was sixty-five years old and had
. come all the way from Illinois, but
= came.
! The widower Narmore had a ia
u 1t was known to every one in Hill
L dale, and yet those three widow
IL each one of whom might possib
r have answered yes to a propose
i hadn't the acumen to take advanta
L. of it. Mr.. Narmore was check
8 fiend. He didn't care for hor
IL races, dog fights, pugilism or bas
- ball, but seat him in front OF a check
board and he was there for all mig
ii necessary to beat the other play
He was the champion of Hillsds
q, county. In fact, he claimed the cha
N pionship of the state.