Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-09-10
MOTORING BOWLING
FISHING BOATING
LIVE
TIPS
-
By BOsCo
Here are a few jokes in the key
of G, but they sound like L.

ltS a good JnlnS ne a little guy
Ever since he went up in that hy-
dro-aeroplane his head has been
swelling-(from the air pr~essure)-
but he's a little fellow and you don't
notice it.
Latest popular song: "A Round
Head is Better Than a Square-head
When Flying"
julius Zevrines, the French avi-
ator, few 105 miles an hour at IL
lionis yesterday, which is just a
trife faster than the Staten Island
Rapid Transit Railway trains.
Taxi driver had to call two cops
to help him collect a fare. Good
thing we only have two taxis, as We
haven't very many policemen.
Eddie Reagan, a prominent MEM
Der of the Riyersides and Frank
Inns, asked a friend last night
which would grow the quicker a to-
mato plant or an egg plant.
The friend said he thought the
egg plant would produce more
rapidly.
ooh, no." smiled Reagan, "the to-
mato would ketch-up when it was
time"
Reagan ducked but not quick
enough, and the blow caught him
under the hyoid bone. That's the
reason he can't whistle today.
Don't think it is dead Just be-
cause it looks dead" This advice
is being handed out by Nick" of
the Plaza Restaurant. The other
night there was a tray of soft she'll
crabs in the window of the eating
emporium and to an ordinary OBJ
server they looked dead. One wise
young man felt certain that they
were and told Nick" so. The lat
ter Immediately offered to wager the
drinks that there vas not n dead
one in the pan. The wise guy took
him up and an examination Of the
supply followed. There were three
dozen crabs in the lot and out of the
entire number only three dead ones
were discovered. Nick" of course,
lost the bet, but the wise guy" was
also wrong and won only on a
technicality as he thought all OF
them were dead,
Hats off to Joe Honan, "The
Fighting Waiter" He's there. He's
there.
Scelly, the vanquished Italian,
when he arrived on earth again af-
ter his balloon trip at the Permo
last night, wanted to know who
stoppe the bout.
If Kid Ginger puts ginger in his
blows, Joe Honan mu~t nut cayeDae
pepper in his. -
You have heard of the famous
"cork-screw" and solar plexus"
blows, no doubt, but Joe Honan has
one which puts them all In the
shade. He used it last night and it's
success was evident. After the bout
l said: "Joe, what do you call that
%punch?" and he replied: tits a
pizzer."
Spodinis Praises Luke"
We will leave all jokes aside for
the present while we look into the
character of Old Boy Luke, the
heavyweight Prince of the Roped
Arena, and note the various lido
syncrasies contained in his over
grown and good natured personality.
Luke, l understand, will be seen in
fighting toys at the Permo A. A.
meeting which will be held Septem-
Der % at the Auditorium, ready to
administer a beating to anyone
whom the management chooses to
send to the ring, but | fear for his
success on account of influence
brought to bear by his Feminine
Flash. Listen: Luke has a girl and
her name is Kitty. Somehow or
other she Is somewhat averse to her
1ance joining the ranks of the mitt
artists. This adversely Is due to her
overabundance of kindheartedness.
1t causes a very repugnant feeling
within her to think Of her soul-lov-
ing beau-ideal pounding the life out
of some poor individual with less
science than he. Luke, OF the other
hand, has, although deeply consid-
ering the protests presented by his
beloved one, drawn up his motto,
thus: at is more blessed to give
than to receive" so he pounds away
until he manages to shoot over the
pill that contains the sleeping po-
ZION. Dul, SuOuiu ne Willie SpdIIluS
for an opening, think of that pretty
little maiden who had stolen his
heart, / am afraid that her soft
heart would be transplanted in him
and allow an opportunity for his OPP
ponent to deliver a jab that would
knock him into a state of uncon-
seriousness likened only unto a death
in a frigid region, for the sake OF
saving his adversary a beating,
I which without doubt would have
| been handed to him had Luke's
mind been free to act on its own
impulses. What Reuse has he to Of
fer for such an occurrence? None.
only to look up into his S~weetheart's
eyes as they are nearing the hospital
and whisper softly; Il did 1t for
your sake, KITTY" When I tell
you that Love is a funny thing, you
can believe me because I've been
there. SPODlNlS.