davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05

and We have found II wanting Decidedly
so. The cost Of the simplicity is appalling
in more vital matters than that Of dollars
and cents. There may he gains for all our
losses, but in the suburban life there are
losses for all our gains Perhaps l should
explain, in Justice toward other suburban
ties, and by way OF defence that we are
a chlldess couple. and therefore need not
make a virtue of necessity.
Oh yes. we have decided. We are going
10 move back TO the city next fall. TO an
apartment with all its Inconvenience, TO
crowded public conveyances, to all the
noise and hustle. but not 10 hurry on, no,
TO a busy man city life means real, profit
able leisure in his idle hours. not waste OF
time and tissue in rushing for trains and
fretting at delays and the lordly inconven-
fence Of time tables, nor manual labor on
house and grounds. But, as A good Amer
lean husband. will let Polly be my spokes-
man.
will pass over her remarks concerning
material things. the way in which her
household money vanishes. thanks TO the
suburban bridesmaids frenzied IDEAS OF
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
Back from Sububa to City DHcomos Goes Polly

of gift for self-suppression instead OF for
acknowledgment. of an interest In small
things. and OF self-denal OF the wider in
terests OF life II will make an amateur
handy man Of ono, and in the process will
reduce that part OF ones brain which is not
devoted to the daily task the part that
really lives, TO somnolent inactivity. Man
has strven through the ages to get away
from Nature. and he probably knew what nc
was about. He certainly has widened his
horizon I'm the process. Back to Nature!
Oh yes. when one Is sixty-five and the
mind is beginning to lose its elasticity.
when IL begins to crave rest and quiet
and is stored with enough riches 10 rumi-
nate upon till the end Of its days. But
while | live. let me live in the midst OF
the struggle and its fruits, let me be near
the centre. where are found the builders or
the hour beside the temples OF the masters
OF the past, where | can hear Beethoven
and Wagner and witness the rise or fall OF
a Strauss or a Charpentier, where ] can
see a Sargent by the side of Neiasquez'
where can see the wheels go round and
listen to conversation that Is not or the
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND.

Andrew u. White stated recently that
murder in America was a safer pursuit
than hunting-that only one in a hundred
murderers were punished with death.
Our morality. so far az the treatment
of murder Is concerned" said Mr.. White
the other day In New York. seems to NE
as loose as the morality OF the guests at
a Balkan ball
1T IL said that at ball in the Balkans
a guest complained to the host, minister,
that another guest. a Judge. had stolen his
watch.
(which Judge was it?' the minister
asked. frownng.
The guest pointed out a distinguished
looking jurist with gray hair. and, an hour
or so later, the minister returned his watch
to him. Trusting 1t back into his pocket
with a contented sigh. the guest asked:
And what did the judge have to say
for himself?'
Say! said the minister. He doesn't
know I've got II back?
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
Continued from first page.

BAHIA met my assent with most Chester
feldian expression Of pleasure.
Mr. Mills president of the Bshaite So
ciety in New York. had placed his car al
the disposal OF Abdul BAHIA.
Can you picture your Aunt Kate and
Abdul BAHIA going TO it, hand in hand
through the Ansonia corridors?
Perhaps the guests didn't gurgle and
gasp. Perhaps.
I did feel rather conspicuous, but hraced
myself with the thought OF the universal
brotherhood and really got along fairly
well.
When we we're seated in the machine
every inch OF space taken by some memDer
Of the suite. caught myself thinking what
an amusing little anecdote might make OF
this happening. Just then the Master saiu
to ME IN A gentle but firm voice:
~ Remember. you press people are the
servants Of the public. You interpret our
words and acts TO them. With you is q
great responsibility. Please remember ana
please treat us seriously"
Often during the interview had felt IKE
saying: you dear old man! You fine olo
gentleman" I felt more tnan ever IKE IL
now.
As IL any one could hold up that pure
white soul 20 ridicule.
There was another gasp Of surprise at the
Bowery Mission as, still hand In hand-hP
Just wouldn't let me go--the Bana ana l
,rotted through lane composed OF seVeraI
score OF the society's members. a lew Oh
the young ladies had their arms filed with
flowers. which afterward filled the auto
mobile. Some four hundred men were pres
ent belonsng TO the mission.
Just before the services were concIuoeo
saw the courier stealthily approach the
platform and hand the BAHIA green palze
bag.
OF course. ! wasn't going TO let thar 20
On without finding out all about 1t. ana 10
4 my whispered inquiry the BAHIA said' smii-
;ngly:
Some little lucky bits am going to dis
tribute to the men"
What you don't expect!
had the surprise OF my life
For what do you suppose those lucky Di's
vefe7
Silver quarters, two hundred dollars
worth OF them,
There,
Guess you didn't expect IL. either.
AhiHh OF IL! some one hctuahS
70 America and distributing money. NOT
here with the avowed or unavowed inteh-
uon OF taking It away.
II seems incredible.
POSSIBLY l may be a little tired OF mere
.'ros dealing in them the way l DO out
mar demonstration OF Abdul Bahas Greco
oio more to convince me Of the absolute
sincerity Of the man than anything else
mat had happened.
ana II was all done 20 unostentatiousiy'
gracefully. without any fuss or fume'
me Master stood. big eyes always turned
rsy IRON the man facing him, far down
Nne me. four or FIVE beyond his vis-a-Vis'
mat when q particularly desperate look
- specimen came along he was all ready
~ Nina and. instead 5f ore quarter. two
49, quietly pressed into the csliohse'
palm. ..s.5A
nce young Turk of the suite slipped
snd before the BAHIA recognized nun
coin. He explained that he wanted
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
HIS CONTRIBUTION.

Robert Henri. the artist paused before q
landscape at the Philadelphia Academy OF
Fine Arts and said:I
dawn. who painted this, has sprung
from humble circumstances to great wealth
and eminence.
"Dawb made his first success in Paris.
lie was difrdent and abashed in those days
When he would sally out from his garrett
I'm the Rue Vanguard TO a duchesss In the
Avenue des Champs Elysees or a prin-
cess's in the Rue de lCniversite his heart
would be i'm his mouth.
They say that once. at dinner party
at Pailards. DAVID. the guest of honor
didn't open his mouth from the mareDnes
vertcs 10 the soutlee.
Finally, when the dessert came on, n b
beautiful and elegant hostess smiled am
said
Come dear Monsieur dawn, do say
something"
"Dawb blushed AT this challenge. rackcd
his brain and stammered. with a bashful
smile
Have you noticed, ladies and gentle
men, that this years pawn tickets are all
green
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
WILDLY HIT OFF.

THE late General James B. Weaver"
said a Des Moines Populist. had a just
faith in the American farmer. He believed
that from the farmer the Republics regen-
Grafton would come.
He once condemned, In lecture, the
caricaturist's farmer, type purely mag
mary. that he hit off wildly with an anec-
dote.
"A farmer OF this type" he said, was
seated on a barrel whiting a stick, when
a traveller stopped and said:
We'll, sir, what do you think OF Chris
tlan Science
".Hain't heard nothn' on it,, the farmer
answered.
Never heard OF Christian Science? Well.
we,lr' said the traveller. and he resumed:
with which side do your sympathies
lie In the Turko-Italian war;
.'Didn't know thar wuz no war. NUT
tered the farmer. and he bit OF chew
from a big black plug.
THE traveller then tried him on another
tack
do you consider the Wright oiplane in
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
Gardens May Be All Right,
But Oh! for the Theatres
and Other Cures for
Atrophy of the Soul!

little things OF daily life. but Of the men
who turn tho wheels, their aspirations and
their achievements.
And for all OF me- concluded Polly.
with flushed cheeks, IF ! can do that. the
caterpillars may eat the foliage, and the
ants may ruin the lawns, and the little
boys may steal the pears on our two trees.
| won't even worry IL there is a draft i'm
the clubhouse There will always be peo-
pie enough content to make It their life
work TO prevent all these calamites."
Polly" | said, you are magniiicenty
unreasonable, but you have won your case.
Back TO the city" say l. The winters Of
your discomfort are past but We Will move
at the end of glorious summer"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
a DIFFERENCE.

ceorpe AIDE, at dinner in New YORK
urged a subtler use of words
'.Trsa words with delicate care" he said
..ohserve all their subtle distinctions
49, wr,,e vision. for instance, when
sight is what you mean.
There's no difference pet"eeh ''e"' ""0
VISION" interrupted an editor
NOR said Mr.. AIDE. ana YET, n'is,
when you and I passed each other Oh
Rroadway yesterday afternoon. the siri
was with was a vision, while the one Win
vou was a sight"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05

worse with the women: they cannot es-
cape each other at any hour OF the day.
There is never stimulus from without.
We arc like slaves chained together for
life or like a family whose members know
too well each others pecularities. limita-
lions and troubles SO It Is ever the same
round OF idle gossip FOR us women-per-
sonallties. the rector when he Is not pres
enU the doctor servants and children.
have heard more Of the iniquties OF intelli-
gence bureaus and OF Group measles,
scarletna. mumps and tonsilitis in TINS
place in Ave years than one hears in life
time in the city.
AS for the men. they talk Of business
golf tennis; the baseball enthusiasm In
summer drives me frantic. Then there are
Village affairs and trains missed or caught.
our unfalIng suburban source Of humor
You are not a biz interesting any more.
lack -
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
THE FORERUNNER.

Nine. Maeterlinck, on the French Linz
pier in New York, praised the Harlem fat
ardently.
our foreign flats. beside your Harlem
ones" she said seem as slow as-as slow
as-well. as Provencal railway.
I'm white. sun-drenched, glittering Pro-
vence there is railway remarkable for
It's slowness.
II was waiting at Proveneai station
one day, and my train was three hours
behind time out OF patience at last. ]
said to the station master:
Isn't this train coming soon?'
Just then a dog came trotting up the
line, and the station master smiled.
oh, yes, madam he said. II is bouna
to arrive soon now. Here comes the en-
gineer's dog"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
THE pRUDeERY OF GARDENING.

"An intimate knowledge of the fall treat
ment OF the lawn she says, spoils my
Measure IN It's summer verdure. ! want
my daffodils to take the winds OF March
with beauty in unexpected places. object
IN all this fertilizlng and planning and
Noting. this repulsive hunting Of things
that creep on fruits and shrubs and flowers.
I want to feel that Nature can make her
self beautiful in my garden without the
constant supervision OF horticultural
guardian. 1t is just like smelling the coal
tar before the perfume that is extracted
from IT. or like having to put glorious
poem into type and printing 1t before read
ing IT. and, of course, doing 1t in bung-
ling. amateurish fashion at that
The obvious answer to this is, | suppose,
that Polly and / have no real love OF Nat
ure Perhaps that Is true, yet submit
that familiarity with Natures weaknesses
and the prosaic ways Of counteracting them
4. not conducive TO a growth Of affection
and admiration of her poetic beauty. No
man Is a hero to his valet de chambre.
Have YOU never caught the look of mingled
acorn and perplexity on the face Of the
farmer when the city visitor goes into rapt-
ur.s, The creation OF a new variety OF
eower or fruit-yes, perhaps; but TO act as
purbank's third assistant gardener, pick
ing slugs off shrubs, or keeping drafts out
~ outhouses-no, thanks / know hun
drad other vocations more soul filing and
eve eattering In the doing and in the re-
suits.
There you have Polly's views. Suburban
life she says. is manual labor. mechani-
cal pursuit technical training Of primi-
,,ve soul deadening kind. The same proc
.ss,s and the same results approximately
.ecson after season 1t is like punching
holes in needles By way of relaxation from
the days work. And so she approaches her
main argument which is the narrowing
influence OF this semi-rursl life.
I'VE are stranded. Jack" she says land
IN. stream Of life flows by us, leaving US
high and dry. and hungering and thirsting
II is not low living and high thinking. 1t 10
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
THE TIMETABLE FACE.

She looked AZ me with critical fondness.
/ then observed calmly. And you are get
! ting the timetable face. and the collar OF
your coat always looks as II you had
/ slipped it on in a tearing hurry
! And then the snobbcry." she resumed,
/ returning from the personal to the general
The near English accents, the attempts
| Ia nc real county The standard is money.
or at least the display and prctence OF
wealth. Funnicr still are the lines OF
erIstocracv drawn according TO the time
table. The people vino take the 9:l1 look
down on the poor worms that must take
the 7:l5. and when they have to go to town
earlier for once they behave as Mr.. Choate
might II h unaccountaby found himself
pleading a pckpockcts case IN ponce
court II IL amusing. but II Is despicao'e'
too oh. yes. | know We are not shoos-
not yet-but we have TO play the game
more or less. just the same. III the others
turn down a poor, inoffcnsive newcomer
we can do very little. And all the time we
know who l. being dunned by the outcher'
the baker the candlCstick maker-nothlhs
but pretcncc and tlttle-tattle. There MITE
Y on the hill with her cousins the van
Rensselaerbilts, Everybody mas hesru
about the rclationship-her friends. her az
oraintances and her enemies-especlail3
her enemies. Only the Van RensseiaerU''s
don't seem TO have heard of H. Ihey GER
tslnIy never call on her. More tat'''' anu
7 shall end by taking an interest IN IL IL
we don't go away.
"'rho Womcn's FortniGhuy cub? On
Yes. Iet MS talk Of that chariot of culture
IF uodnpgS
write papers-and read them. too-on SUB
jccts they know nothing about Ihoy G't
n all out of encyclopedias. or Ruskin, or
Symons. or last months magazines anu
they get II all wrong. This Is the moh'l
Of Brownlng's centenary, ard the clno
meets here this time. Heaven help me-
jack
The trouble is" she went on, AFTER q
pause that In the country, even In SUD
urb. one has to DE his own local news
paper, ana most persons are very poor
Journalists. A village drain Is question
OF vital interest 10 us: the city dweler
glances at the headline In his paper anu
knows that the press Will prod the su-
thorlties for him. The daily crush or trans
portation is an incident of city life. for
gotten the moment one gets out OF II; there
are a thousand more important things to
think and talk about but with us change
Of time table Is an event, and the taking
of of a train an iniquity to be discussed
and denounced for weeks. The local week.
" carries the railroads advertising. so 1t
Is muzzled. Then, since we all crave ex-
element In our hybrid monotony. we have
our own yellow journalism-we talk scan
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
IRRESISTIBLE.

A New York broker was praising, apropos
of his probable return TO Wall street
Charles w Morse's ability as money
raiser.
They tell story about Morse III
cbuckled Morse went TO millionaire
one day and said:
Lend me three million. ! must haN
three million for that new deal of NINE
Sorry. Morse. said the millionaire, bT
I've only go, two million In ready mone'
to-dsy.'
is that ALL. said Morse. We'll, liant
II over then--you can owe me the sthsI
million.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
Abdul BAHIA Talks of Things
Spiritual and Mundane

lit for luck and the BAHIA most bengnanuy
patted his shoulder. When he got BACK 10
his companions they all laughed AT the Joke
! ] imagine them a merry little family
among themselves
! 1 had said good night on the platform
/ so my last view Of Abdul BAHIA was as lie
/ stood at the head OF the Bowery Mission
! line, dozen or more derelicts before him.
giving to each bit of silver and word OF
/ blessing.
And as / went out into the starlight
night ! murmured the phrase Of an Oriental
! admlrer who had described him Is
The Rreese Of Cod.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
NATURES ELUSIVE MUSIC.

THE music OF nature" exploded Polly
/ reverting to her major grievance. III i
most beautiful at sunrise when one Is 100
sleepy to listen to 1t. and silent at night
when one IL wide awake and ready to near
| Anyhow, we have no song birds here only
| chirpers and ROSTERS. and none at all IN
winter. which Is the real music season. say
what YOU will Last January there was
hoot-owl. and We both wanted to murder
him"
Here my wife stopped for breath, at the
same time taking a seedsman's catalogue
from my desk and throwing 1t into tne
waste paper basket. Its brilliant floral COW
ering suggested still another grievance
And when you want decent flowers TOT
tho table," she muttered. you nave 10
send TO town for them"
After nodding through the window to the
wife OF our local magnate. plump and piacid
C'bovine." said Polly vciously), she re-
sumed her DISCOURSE whose purpose no"
clearly saw.
"Then there Is our social life she be-
gan. lis II simple? No. II Is osentauous
We make more display ttan in the city; We
try SO hard to be a local aristocracy. Is IL
intellectual? No; 1t Is provincial. Inc
trouble is that we fall between two stools
Wa are all from the city-we come here TO
lead a different life. yet the first thing we
do is to organize II as closely as possioio
along the lines we have left behind US. But
there is this important difference: That IN
a suburb we cannot get away from each
other. We are forced TO be together morn
ing. noon and evening, under circumstances
that never vary. We know each other 100
well. and consequently there Is nothing I'M
expected and potentially interesting ieft In
anv n, us Intimacy is made fiat and UNI
profitable by unavoidab BILE familiarity. That
is why our conversation Is so iansuio ana
COMMONPLACE when we meet formally
Take the men. First OF all they VIII
not go out in the evening II they can heip
if. and when they do 90 they are tired.
istless. They have met each other on the
way to the station, on the platform, and in
the train. going and coming. why see
more Of each other at night? 1t Is even
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
Stories in Lighter Vein
Told by Well Known Persons

ferior to the foreign monoplane for swift.
safe flying?
50 fur I know said the farmer, the
world hain't seen no fiyin' ytt.'
why. man. exclaimed the traveller.
quite staggered, don't you ever read the
newspapers?
81 usetcr, said the farmer. without lift
ing his eyes from his whiting. L useter.
but ten or leven years ago | stopped it.
They got too frivolous fur me. Since then
| bin rcadin' Il book
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
us CHOICE FOR CHARITY.

Frank Morrison. secretary OF the Amer,
team Federation of Labor. was conue,f'hlhs
On washington. apropos OF the Ens'ish coa'
.tr,ke certain senseless economies, A..
Economy is all very we'll ne ss'a' n Du'
-" ., The latt.r-day scientific manage
ment economy you hear about reminds you
80 The sklnfiint millionaire whose only
charity was foreign missions. :, osoo.,
,.,an missions because 7 want to make
nv money 20 as far as possible --
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
Having Tried the Simple
Country Life She Decides
That Its Joys Have
Been Overrated.

TITS settled. We are going back to the
city to live in the autumn. We Will he
l. subnrbanites no more The last winter
has settled that. The reaction from the
back to nature" enthusiasm is bound 20
come and Polly and l are ready 40 be
among the pioneers.
Polly. you will understand. of course. is
my wife That is not her real name, but It
appears to be literary convention 10 call
her that in near to nature" illusions. 1
object to the overworked term, for we are
suburbanites, wherefore, to be honest and
precise. "near-nature" would be closer 10
the truth. Well. we have tried the simple
life so far as II is possible TO family
whose head is tied 70 a city Office STOOL
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-05
TRUMPED.UP SCANDAL.

There Is our fast set'-three married
women four embarrassing men and girl
of twenty Eight. They are really not fast
at all; we merely invent the fastness for
them. They will disarpoint us, nothing will
hapren. so after while we shall start gos-
siping about some others. until each and
every one Of us has purely imaginary
past. From sheer lack of genuine social
interests we attempt to graft the House
Of Mirth' upon Back to Nature and the
result Is a Jane Austen chronicle with Guy
de Maupassant trimmings. but without the
art OF either. believe Polly added in
conseauentially, that half the charm OF
the country In summer Is due to the fact
that II Is then Inhabited by city people"
She had reached her peroratIon-I felt it
and knew that with 1t our suburban life
would reach It's end.
Country life as It is possible for us.
she began. suburban life. that is, which Is
neither city nor country, but combines the
disadvantage OF BOTH requires a vigorous
training in primiuyeness. the cultivation