davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-10-01
Dividing Up the Family

A F course, when I found myself oc-
cupying a e In . car on the
Long Island Railroad With .
farmer I felt it my duty 10 ask how
he stood on the Presidential question.
and after a little hesitation he At6,
"Well, my family 10 divided up. I
am for Taft myself"
"Yes?"
THE old woman Is for RoosevNlt.s
O. "Yes?"
"My boy Ben is for Wilson,"
"Yes?" sEa
my boy Sam is for tho Socialist"
"Yes?"
my boy Jim is for Prohibttton."
$50 you are one for each candi-
date?"
"All but my boy Zeke. He hasn't
made up his mind yet"
Waiting for another candidate 20
appear?"
well, no, Zeke's waiting to So II
J will be nominated for constable. II
he is he'll likely jine in with Ben, Jim
or Sam, II he hain't then he'u break
loose on lection day and lioa svsry
man who comes within forty rods Of
the polling place."
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-10-01
His Reason.

only natural that his change of base
should be questioned and explanations
asked for, n he was ready.
"Gentlemen," he said, II owe Squar'
Brown my election to this body. 1t
was his friendship and his money that
put me here. I pledged myself to vote
for more battleships when the ques-
ton came up"
But you didn't keep your pledge"
was protested.
Il didn't, and It was on account Of
Squar' again. When I first pledged
him he had property on Goose Creek
and wanted the protection Of the navy.
Please read this letter from HIM"
The letter read:
A I have moved my %hen-roost half
a mile back from Goose Creek there is
no longer any need of a navy. Vote
agin' it,"
A POLITICAL TIP,
Should it be your ambition to write a
humorous verse pick out an ancient
subject and express in language
terse. The editor may reject
it If the meters out Of
joint, but If you fash
ion II like this he'll
surely see the
point.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-10-01
He Was An American.

q UST how many Americans have
been killed in Mexico since Diaz
- had to skip will never be known"
said an American civil engineer who
returned to Boston the other day.
Some of the leaders were down on
them. and others favored us. 1t was
my luck TO be captured two or three
times by the latter class and como off
with my life.
"A month ago." continued the re-
turned. lit was q guerilla band that
picked me up. The leader was down
on everything American, and he was
for shooting me off hand. I did some
tall talking and was finally taken be-
fore an army captain. Then the Ques-
ton came up as to whether I was an
American or q Dutchman. II I was
an American I was all right with tho
captain; II I was a Dutchman then It
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-10-01

was a firing party for me-.
"Of course, I talked and commended.
but the captain seemed to keep on
doubling until he finally got a bright
thought and turned to me with:
"'Senor, I nave been in Texas
much.'
"Ye2"
Much poker have I played"
"Yes."
IT an American you are you can
play the game"
"A pack Of cards "a produced and
W set to. In twenty minutes I had
him dead broke"
Captain, ia he a Dutchman7'
asked the guerilla?
"'Dutchman, you fool!' was shouted
back a. the officer rose up. mol
Can't you see that he Is the worst
American that EVER struck Mexico!
Let him 90 at once!'"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-10-01

e was q Representative in Con-
gress VINO had pledged himself to
vote for two battleships, but q
fortnight later announcedith that he was
"agin'" any increase at all. It was
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-10-01

we have to be frivolous to kill the
time.
THE old-fashioped wife could darn
her husbands socks-my husband
wears socks that are guaranteed for
half a year and never need darning.
Years ago the housewife had the
wash board to break the tedium-and
the back. Automatic washers do the
work now with little time and no
t. ouble.
Instead Of a broom, sanitary dan
gers force us to use the modern
vacuum cleaner. In the place Of the
hot kitchen range, we have the fire.
less cooker that doesn't have to be
watched"
And the sad-eyed sociologist, seeing
his error. humbly asked her pardon
for it.
THE YEARL1NG BUGABoO.
We like the summer we'll enough,
The place we have been;
We would have had a splendid time
Had .
been
90 In.
The theatres are open now.
Good times will soon begin;
o, what a picnic we could have
If ,s.
the
coal
were
IN
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-10-01
Cash In Advance.

FTER standing on a street cor
ner in New York City for ten
minutes the mar who had been
hzed up as an Uncle RUDE stepped out
md headed off a passing policeman
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-10-01
WHY WOMEN ARE IDLE.

~ HE modern wife," murnured the
sad-eyed sociologist, lis too friv-
~ olous and idle
But it isn't our fault" objected the
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-10-01

ana said:
II want to square up in advance"
What do you mean?" was asked.
"I'm in town to have a go I'd time.'
"Well?"
Il shall be arrested"
VERY likely"
But I don't want to be dubbed or
locked up"
II see."
The stranger took a handful of
change from his pocket and counted
over some coins and continued:
There's a dime for YOU"
HUI"
And there's eight cents for your
captain"
HUI"
"And here's six for the lieutenant"
Say, you-."
And four for the sergeant"
What are you getting at, old mani"
And three for the man higher up.
!. hat all right?"
Look here"
Take 1t. Say nothing. Cash In
advance. you see. No receipts-no
witnesses-no bookkeeping. Just be-
tween me and the System and II any
one ever asks me If the System Is as
honest as an unborn babe I'll be right
on hand to swear to it's innocence!"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-10-01
young matron.

young matron.
Whose fault is it,"
ITS the result of present condi-
tons. We're forced to be idle, and
The Washington herald., 1912-01-05
Interest in City Government.

When the mayors of twenty or more
New Jersey cities gather together to
discuss methods of improving municipal
administration, it is a hopeful sign of
the times
Germany has an admirable system of
educating burgomasters and transfer
ring them from city to city, affording
them larger fields of usefulness as their
ability develops. Such. a system is i'm
possible in this country, where city gov
crnment seems to be regarded as a
purely political affair. As time pro-
gresses, however, the American people
will come to regard the conduct of civic
business with more intelligent concern.
The growth of the commission form
of government, the organization of civic
leagues, and the increasing popularity
Of nonpartisan elections for city off,
cials indicate that this leaven of edu-
cation is already at work in the public
mind
The Washington herald., 1912-01-05

is a pity that a question which IS purely
economic and which is so intinlately as
sociated with business should be made
the football of partisan leaders. When
the Republicans are victorious it goes
up: when the Democrats win, which
is seldom, ii goes down. This IS the
reason why the outcome of each cam
paign is awaited with anxiety by COM
mercial interests This IS the prime
cause of business uncertainty while the
spell-binder IS abroad in the land.
1t is pity, We repeat, that this
should be the case, but inasnuch as the
tariff always has been cleavage line
between the two principal parties. it is
probably too much to expect that IN
the near future, at least, there will be a
successful effort to-ldiporce it from
politics. But as for Gov. Wilson and
his latest utterances, one only needs to
recall the fact that the tariff is the only
issue upon which the Democrats have
elected a President since the civil war.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-05

One Of the most prominent dogs Is the
mastiff. He is the leviathan Of the dos
family. A successful mastiff weighs 1bc
pounds and by standing on his hind legs
can put his paws on the shoulders Of q
six-foot man and lick his face until per-
suaded to desist with hot poker.
The mastin begins life as a woolIy
puppy who is % 4l-lo0ths per cent legs.
In fact. his legs are almost full grown
at birth and It Is an entertaining sight
to see the infant dog IuggiDg his ponder
Gus feet painfully from place TO place
against their viii. The rest OF the dog
grows rapidly. however. and By the time
the mastin Is SIX months old he has
perfect control OF his feet and can trans
port them with great skill from the
nearest mud puddle to the nearest white
dress, placing his paws on the vulner-
able spots with unerring accuracy.
The mastin when full grown Is noble
dog with large intelligent face and
dignined Jowls. He is tawny In color and
can be sculptured with the aid OF a horse
clipper into a very fine imitation Of a
hqp. For all his vast size and strength.
the mastin Is kindly In disposition and
win not fight unless II Is absolutely neces-
sary. Owing to his long wheel base and
heavy body. he is no match for the bull
dog or the collie, but Ike many another
big blum, his size keeps him from being
imposed upon 10 any great extent
The mastiff Is used mainly as a deco
ration and as a playthlng for children.
being very durable and not easily broken
by careless handling. II a mastif can
be trained to sleep before the staircase,
he makes a very valuable protection
against burglars. who almost invariably
The Washington herald., 1912-01-05
CASUALTY CHIEF
ASKS FOR JUSTICE
DR.. Jaeger Defends Hospital
Against Attack.

On account Of the method OF treat
ment in a morning newspaper OF the
alleged robbery Of a patient DIR. Henry
w. Jaeger, resident physician at the
Casualty Hospital. issued a statement last
night. In answer to the charge of Ir-
win johnson that he was robbed of ap-
proximateIy $50 Tuesday night. while at
the institution. DR.. Jaeger says Johnson
was taken 20 the hospital in its am
buIance Tuesday night from the corner
OF Eighth and ! streets southeast, where
he was found intoxicated.
Mr. johnson was brought TO the hos
pital in a drunken condition on Tuesday
night" said Mr.. Jaeger. After being
examined. he was searched, as Is the
custom. under the supervision Of the
resident physician, with Policeman r.
Morris, of the Ninth precinct. and one of
the nurses as Witnesses The patient was
found 20 have S2-55. box, and a key.
These things were placed in an envelope
and deposited in the safe at the hospital
Shortly afterward. Johnson declared
that he had been robbed. stating that
he had so in gold when he left his home.
The patient was again searched, but no
money was found. Wednesday morning
johnson was sober. and consequently was
liberated, after receiving the contents OF
the envelope. He again declared to the
resident physician that he had been rob-
bed, stating this time that he had SIS
when he left home.
"Wednesday afternoon Detective Smith.
OF the Ninth precinct called at the hos
pital TO investigate the alleged theft
Later in the day a detective from head
quarters visited the institution for the
purpose OF making an investigation II
johnson had the money when he left his
home. he lost Il before he entered the
hospital. He was searched IN the pres
ence OF witnesses, aud only t265 was dis
covered"
The Washington herald., 1912-01-05
BATTLE SHIP BIDS
RECEIVED BY MEYER
Three Shipbuilding Com
panies Ask for Contracts.

Three shipbuilding companies submit
ted bids to the Navy Department yester-
day for the construction OF the two new
battle ships authorized by Congress. All
were within the 100000 appropriation
for each Dreadnought. These ships viii
have a displacement Of 1900 tons. and
a speed Of twenty knots an hour. The
bids follow
Fore River shipbuiIding Company.
Quincy, Mass. one vessel with hull and
machinery according to Navy Depart
ment plans. f5.sS0.Oo0 one vessel with
Curtis turbine engines, S.sss 900: one ves-
sci with reciprocating engines OF the
bidders design. f5,955,O00.
New York Shipbuilding Company,
Camden, N j.. hun equipment and ma
chiuery according TO department designs.
but with substitution Of nickel steel for
special treatment steel. 5,9as,Ooo. and So
The Newport News Shipbuilding and
Drydock Company. Newport News. Va,
one ship with hull and machinery ac-
cording to navy plans. S5.i50.000. two
ships at ss,550O0O each.
William cramp & Sons, Philadelphia,
declined TO bid. saying in letter 10 the
department. they could not do so under
the eight-hour restriction.
Bids were received for armor for these
vessels from the Bethlehem Steel Com
pany, Bethlehem. Pa: Carnegie Steel
Company. Pittsburg. and the Midvale
Steel Company, Philadelphia.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-05
Tariff and Politics,

Gov. Woodrow Wilson has left, for
the time being, the hitherto, inviting
paths which lead to the initiative. the
referendum, and the recall, and, is de-
voting his oratorical abilities to the
discussion of the tariff. This was his
subject at the formal opening of the
National Democratic Club in New York
City, and II is to be his theme at the
Jackson Day banquet in Washington
next week
In thus appearing as an expounder of
the tariff. Gov. Wilson assumes a new
role. With his collegiate training he
might naturally be expected to be a free
trader, but his utterances are by no
means radical. He is a tariff-for-reve-
nue Democrat phrase which has as
many meanings as a chameleon has
hues-and he believes that free raw
materials would lower the cost of do
nestic manufacture, as well as aid do
inestic manufacturers in foreign mar
kets. He deals, however. in generali-
ties rather than with details, and thus
avoids entanglins himself in contro-
versy with the leaders of his own
party.
Whether acting upon his own initia-
five in thus emphasizing the tariff as
political issue, or whether nc IS follow
ing the suggestions of others, Gov
Wilson is acting with wisdom The
tariff. unfortunately, is political is
sue. We say unfortunately, because it
The Washington herald., 1912-01-05
FRANK B. KELLOGG
URGED FOR BENCH
Appointments Occupy Time
of President.

With the list OF callers who yester-
day visited President Taft were COM
mittees advocating the selection of GER
tain candidates for the bench OF the
Supreme Court and 10 learn who will
probably be chosen to succeed Surg.
Gen. Walter wyman as head OF the
Marine Hospital Service. In neither Of
these matters was the President pre-
pared to give a positive answer.
The first committee to visit him in
;he interest OF a Supreme Court can
dldate was a delegation headed by
senator Nelson. OF Minnesota, who put
forward the name OF Frank B. Kellogg,
famous as "the trust buster for the
ONCE. Soon afterward a delegation rep
resenting the Illinois Bar Association
asked the President to consider favor
ably the name OF Judge o. n. Carter for
the vacancy.
with regard to the successor to be
appointed In place OF the late Surg.
Gen. wyman. the President announced
that the name would be forthcoming in
a day or so. Those who are following
the situation stated yesterday that
Surg. Rupert Blue will be named.
Friends of Surg. ]. II. white still
maintain that he has a fair chance OF
the nomination.
A delegation of New Mexico citizens.
headed by congressman Curry
and Ferguson, yesterday called upon the
President and presented him with the
returns OF the recent election held
there.
This morning at 10 o'clock they will re-
turn TO the White House, when the Presi-
dent win summon Secretary OF State
Knox and, after a conference with him,
is expected to issue his formal procIama-
ton admitting New Mexico into the
Union.
Daniel F. Breitenstein. of Utica, WAS
yesterday named 10 be United States
marshal for the Northern district OF
New York He succeeds Van r. Weaver.
who died recently. Mr.. Breitenstein was
for years superintendent Of works on the
Erie Canal He has been prominent in
State politics.
Prof. Irving Fisher. OF Yale University,
called at the White House to request the
President to issue a call for an internal
tional conference on the high cost of
living in this country and abroad ThIs
suggestion, which has been indorsed by
prominent economists OF this country
and Europe. developed at the session or
the American Economic Association in
this city last week Tne President viii
refer the suggestion to Secretary OF
State Knox
The Washington herald., 1912-01-05
Fight Against Tipping.

Considerable interest, not TO say
financial importance, attaches to the blt-
tic started by the commercial travellers
against tipping. Through their national
organization they threw down the
gage of battle on New Years Day.
So far little has been heard about
the success or nonsuccess of the plan.
We read that the commercial travellers,
true to their announcement, stopped
giving tips at the time set, but the hotel
world, the railroad world, the barber
shop, and the taxieab seem to have gone
on as before. Tipping by the rest of
the world has not stopped, and possibly
will not cease through the efforts Of
the travelling men.
The tipping nuisancc-for it is moth
ing less-is an institution of long stand
ing, 1t was borrowed from Europe,
was born of the generosity of rich peo-
pie toward those who serve them, and
in the beginning was praiseworthy. 1t
long since outgrew every commendable
feature and became a burdensome tax
upon those who travel or frequent es-
tsblishments where personal service is
dispensed. The tip is not credit to
either the man who gives it or him who
receives it. To the one who gives it the
tip is an assessment over and above the
cost and worth of the service rendered,
which he feels compelled to pay To
the receiver If is a largess which belit-
ties his manhood proportionately to the
amount given him.
The efforts OF the travelling men to
root out the practice has aroused much
interest, and the result will be watched
with even greater concern. If the trav-
elers succeed in relieving themselves
of this burden of life away from home,
possibly others may be bold enough to
emulate their example, and thus in
time put a stop to pernicious practice.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-05
Nagel on Trusts.

That part of Secretary Nageps re-
port to the President which deals with
trusts gives official utterance and seal
to an economic truth as obvious as the
simplest statement of the rule of three.
Mr. Nagel takes the stand that under
modern conditions of manufacture,
transportation, and the handling and
care of money large corporations arc
as necessary to efficiency as the diffu-
sion OF investments and the application
of the law of competition was in the
days of Adam Smith. Circumstances
in the industrial and commercial world
having completely changed, new ma
chinery is necessary to conduct the
processes of production and business.
Secretary. Nagel finds efficiency in the
Sherman law for the restraint of these
large corporations, but he makes the
reservation that the breaking up of
trusts like the Standard Oil Company
into its original parts, to be finally oper-
ated under a new central agency much
as before, does not solve the problem,
but complicates it. He further sug-
gests that some permanent authority or
Federal agency be established TO ex-
crcise supervision, insure publicity, and
safeguard the public interests. In other
words, Secretary Nagel points out most
clearly that it is not destruction of
trusts, but their legitimate restraint and
control, that is needed.
Mr.. Nagel does not consider il his
province TO decide whether this control
shall be exercised in the way of Fed
eral Incorporation and license, or
through Federal office or commission
clothed with the necessary powers un-
der the law. What he does insist upon
Is that the nation shall recognize that
large corporations, destined to become
still greater, are here to stay, and that
1t is the duty of Congress to enact leg
iSlation which shall do justice 10 the
trusts as well as to the public He spe-
cihcally recommends that the govern
ment establish by appropriate Iegis-
iation a broad system of supervision,
and publicity for all those industrial
and commercial organizations engaged
in interstate and international business" {"
The position of the Secretary OF Com
merce and Labor is particularly to be
commended, because it seeks to build
up, and not destroy, what has naturally
grown out Of the enormous expansion
and evolution of industry and CONNER
cial activity in the last fifty years.
The Washington herald., 1912-01-05
Rear Admiral Evans.

In the passing of Rear Admiral Rob-
ley D. Evans. Familiarity known to the
world as Fighting Bob" the nation
loses one of its most distinguished naval
leaders. and the Capital City mourns a
loyal friend and esteemed citizen. Few
men have made a greater impression
upon their generation than Rear Ad-
miral Evans. A bold and gallant officer
of the old navy. he won celebrity IN
the terrible baptism of fire through
which the sea fighters passed in the
civil war. Later he rose to eminence
in the new navy, where conspicuous
ability, safe leadership. and gallant ac-
ton were not wanting among his col
leagues. From among them all he was
chosen to command the battle-ship
squadron which sailed around the globe,
and in that last distinguished place. OF
responsibility and honor he won the
plaudits of the world and rounded out
to completeness picturesque and bril-
liant record.
Rear Admiral Evans was a man in
whom two phases of character predom-
mated. He was a born leader of men,
and command was with him a trait of
genius. He was a serious man on
duty. severe in discipline, and intent
upon accomplishing the work in hand.
In danger he was fearless, alert, full
of resources, and never dismayed by
peril. In private life he was genial
with friends, kind, unaffected, impulsive
in his generosity. and emotional as few
men are. When on shipboard the dis
cipline of the bridge and quarter deck
was relaxed a little in the officers
cabin. Admiral Evans was the life of
the party His anecdotes, conversation,
and demeanor were those of friendship,
and not of the ship commander. At
home and in social life the same gentle
graces of manner marked his life Rear
Admiral Evans. though in failing health
for some years, passed from life with
a suddenness which has overwhelmed
the nation with sorrow. His work was
done, but he was still in the worlds
eve, full of years, glory, and honor,
when he answered the last summons.