Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-07-24
Senator Stephenson Loses
"UncIe" Because of Story.
HOLDS BRAHANY TO BLAME
Taft's New Assistant Secretary Jok.
ingly Taken to Task.
CARRIES CAR TICKETS IN HAT
Representative Willis Finds Thew
Do Not Become Lost So Easily.
President Not at Once.

When Senator Stephenson walked into
the executive offices this morning look
ing for President Taft-who never went
to the offices all day-he found Tommy
Brahany. the new assistant secretary.
sitting behind a desk. beginning his first
days work at the White House
Tommy. you certainly have got mo
into trouble" said Or" Stephenson.
his title Of Uncle" having been changed
to DIR" by the work OF Brahany
'-How's that. SENATOR" asked Brahany.
and Assistant Secretary Rudolph Foster
looked up. expecting reproach to fall
from the lips of the ighty-thrce-year- oid
senator from Wisconsin.
Well, / have been getting more than
twenty letters a day from persons SUI
fering from indigestion and deafness
since you wrote that story about me.
and il begins 10 look as II | will have
to give up politics and go into the
business OF curing stomach and ear
troubles"
Told Of His "Doctoring."
DR." Stephenson was telling Brahany
about three weeks ago how he used
to attend to the sick and wounded
boys in the lumber camps OF wiscon
sin sixty years ago. and declared that
he had set more bones and dressed
more wounds than any surgeon In the
country. Then the doctor confessed TO
Brahany that for thirty-nine years he
had been taking a certain pill right
after the principal meal each day and
that through this he kept hale and
hearty. He also declared that some
snuff taken through the nostriis In the
help in deafness. He told how he had
benefited former Senators Daniel OF
Virginia. McEnery OF Louisiana and
McLaurin OF Mississippi by prescrib-
ing SNUFF and pills to them.
Brahany. who knows a good story
and Is an expert on tariff matters all
at the same time. wrote for new
York paper the cures OF the new doctor
of the Senate. Result: The afflicted
from all directions are now filling the
Senator's mails with inquiries
What l told Brahany Is true. said
the doctor" to a Star reporter. What
Is good for a horse is good for man.
II you have ever watched a good vet
erinarian you will observe that when
a horse is of its feed he gives a large
pill Of aloes and watches the erect.
The horse soon picks up an appetite ana
is again ready for work. Now these pills
are composed largely Of aloes. When l
was q young man in the lumber camps L
could digest hard tack and bacon three
times q day and keep strong at that
can do il now with the aid OF these
D1ll8. AB We BTOW OAoGI NC osc As0c.S
to suffer from deafness. j know posi-
lively that little SNUFF Will help the
hearing"
And while the new Senate doctor was
talking he was chewing gum-never over
one slice at q time. The doctor has .
recipe for reducing the flesh. and guar
antees to take any fat man and bring him
out q regular Apollo. without Apoiiinaris.
within six months. The receipt is simple.
Take several good axes and go direct to
the lumber camps OF Wisconsin. Uee
these axes In telling trees and chOppanG
them up. sticking to the JOB consistenuy
each day for six months. during TINS
period confirming the diet to bacon. hare
mother wouldn't know you. but the doc
tor guarantees that You will be strong
enough to fight Jack johnson.
Willis and His Car Tickets.
Representative Willis was one Of the
several other callers who made visit
to the executive Offices to find the Presi-
dent away and still engaged on his speech
Of acceptance.
An inouistive reporter observed that
there were three car tickets sticking out
hat.
II see some car tickets in your hat
band" yentured this reporter.
Yes" said the Ohio representative. Il
used TO carry my car tickets in my pock-
ct. I was always losing them and having
difficulty about locating them when
got on q car. Now / stick the quarters
worth that / buy in my hat band and
Just pay the conductor from my hat"
What Brahany hates worse than any
thing else about entering the work at the
White House is that he will have to give
up newspaper work. to which he was
fondly attached.
Mr. Brahany takes the place OF Sher-
man Allen. who is now assistant secre-
tary OF the Treasury.
President Taft did not go to the execu-
tive Offices and saw no one except Sena-
tor Brandegee, who wished to discuss
with him the Panama bill before the
Senate