davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21
SERIES.

Ever in railway accidenty'
We'll, | kissed pretty girl once;
gt:ng through tunnel"
Not very serious accident that =
Yes, 1t was; I married her"-Phil-
aGelpEia Bulletin.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

The Michigander,s petticoats
Will give him no more peace.
For he has voted to give votes
To all the MIchigeese.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21
BUSINESS

"Mirandy! Mirandy! Git up! They's
tew automobiles gone by already this
mcrnin an tn chickens amt been
turned out INTO tn road yet!"-Judge.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21
BALLADS OF THE

The pigskin ball that players k'0|
Is like pome writ BY men
Who toss off verses smooth and
For rs a product Of the pen.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

Dear Editor:-I am going on a trip
from here to San Francisco. How
may arrange for my laundry aboard
the boat?
Anxious.
Throw your laundry out the port
hole: 1t viii be washed ashore
Editor
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21
IMPOSSIBLE,

Lawyer-You say that you want a
divorce from your husband. Why is
ii that You can't get along with him?
Client-We wants me to he reason
able. ......:
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21
pocToRiNc a nocTon.

Il say, doctor. did you ever doc.
another DOCTOR,
ooh. yes
well, tell me this: Docs i f61
a doctor the way the tiUct0red 111'
wants to be doctored. OF does the al
tar doing the doctoring doctor thc 81
.er doctor In bis own way?-Ex.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

Dear Mr.. Editor:-I am desperately
in love with young man. aiif recent
ly he told a friend of mine that no
was deeply in love with me. l am
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

Poet: Let me tell you. sir. that
poem cost me months hard labor.
Editor twho has read the poem
Is that all? If I'd been the judge who
passed the sentence you'd have gotten
a year. -
Court Reporter: Why did they send
that poor boob to the insane asylum
City Editor: A train of thought
passed through his brain and wrecked
lit. . - -
Sob Miss dressed for the theater)
Is it raining, Willie?
The Cub: Not taxicab rain.
City Editor: These are the days
when the editorial writer looks medi-
tatively out of the window. takes a
fresh chew of tobacco and pens an
editorial on Winter in Alaska.
Visitor: Anything in the extra?
Editor: Nothing extra:
The Cub: I'm too tired to work. to-
day.
City Ed: What's the trouble?
The Cub: | covered that chess
tournament last night and il was Just
one blamed move after another.
Sob Sister: would love Ia nave
some furs for this winter.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

A Turk with name can't sDt''
Got shot. but where | won't ten
Said he. "Darn that Slar.
It's tough time I'll have
Standing up until | get well.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

Said the dingbat to the ballym1h.
In the shade Of the chiralrI "
Doth see, under indigo hnlIab1|1.
It's the voice OF the wigglety.I.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

Dear Sir:-I am severely troubled
with freckles. Kindly tell me how I
can get rid Of them
Miss. Ann Tique.
Try this ointment: One ounce OF
phosphorus, one-half ounce yitrol.
twenty drops carbolic acid and fifteen
drops birthstone. Rub the mixture
on each freckfe separately. being
careful not to let II run over the edge
After three hours, remove the freckle
with the point OF sharp knife.
Editor.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

SCENEIlnteriOr Of the old farm.
house.
TIME-4bOut five years ago.
CHARACTERS - The Heroine, the
Villain, the Che-ild, and, of
course, the Mortgage.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

My Dear Sir:-I am spinster OF
forty-five and have suddenly discover.
cd that am violently In love. What
can take as q cure for this!
Miss Anne Teek.
Better try chloroform Editor
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

fThe best music for. this scene
would be the piece called Hearts End
Flowers" -
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

Subscriptions must be paid strictly
in advance, not that we need the mon
ey, but more for the principle of the
thing. Subscriptions are payable In
cash, old clothes. stamps, or lamps.
We take anything but fish and wood
en nickels. Address all communica-
tons to the editors OF the Waste Bas-
ket. EYsNfg -
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

Mr.. Editor :-If that IL the ire
pole and that is the trolley wh61|
that b the trolley wire. where n
trolley?
Please apply foolish question
partment. Editor.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

We received the picture. n
want to keep on the right side 81 4
man, don't let him see you ORR
Editor.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

Standing up until get we'll
A Hungarian, Teddy GOuvash.
Blew IN quite 4 lot of c0Id c641:
TO Insure his election
AS the peoples selection,
To a seat In the HHpgarian gould.
Willie Green.
Sad regrets,
Aged Ililis.
He owned a handsome touring cal.
To ride in 1t was heaven;
He ran f,eross O piece OF glass
Bili-si467.
He took his friends ont for : ride.
'Twfs good TO be alive;
The eArburetor sprung a leak.
Bill-$40.5s.
He s5tarted on 4 little tour.
The finest sort OF fun;
He janmed into 4 hitchlng posi.
Bill-S80.51.
FIe blew in all the coin he had.
And then IN anguish cried:
ri put q mortgage on the house.
And take just one more ride
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

Deer surf am beautiful ma.
OF twenty sumers. an I want q /.
a young TELLER from the EasI
lives in our town. how can .
him? to prOove that ! am bcoII|
am Enclosing my picture.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

very beautiful. and I know that /.
never live without him. Please
me what TO do,
Brickl1.
After thinking this question oT..
have decided that cannot he|D "a
You had better try Betty BIncI.
Advice to Lovers. Editor.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

Dear Editor:-How may kccn
so that it viii last longer?
Housewife
Melt the Ice and seal the waIc|
IN air-tight Jars. Il viii keep : ri
time.-Editor.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

Visitor: Anything in the extra?
Editor: Nothing extra.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

Sob Sister: would love Ia nave
some furs for this winter.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1912-12-21

Sob Miss dressed for the theater)
Is il raining, Willie?
The Cub Not a taXicab rain.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-09-28
.HE professor laid the scarab on
the tablecloth and slipped from
the room to obtain a magnify

the tablecloth and slipped from
the room to obtain q magnify
ing glass
I'm glad that there is something
about me that he likes said DR.. Paul
Harper grimly. Il asked him last night
for permission to marry you, and he
told me that he had determined that
you should marry man who would
not only appreciate his collection, but
would add to it,
Lena Cation nodded sagely.
He means Professor Katzinger."
she explained. He is here so much.
and grow so tired of him.
ITS shame" he declared. Kat
Finger cares more for mummies than
he does for flesh and blood people The
idea of asking you to marry a man like
that, / won't let you-"
But he is my. father" reminded
Lena gently.
The return of Professor Cation put
a stop to the conversation. and Paul
sat glowering upon the Psychologist.
while the old man studied the odd
scarab with wondrous eyes
At last with reluctant fingers he re-
turned the scarab to Paul and went to
his study. while Paul and Lena slipped
out for walk. Ever since Paul had
been an undergraduate at the college
he had loved Lena
Lena had promised to make every
effort to evade a marriage with Kat
Finger.
With this promise Paul had to rest
content. but it was with little of the
elation which had marked his coming
that he took his departure. 1t was
plain to be seen that the professor
cared more for the advancement of his
collection than he did for his daugh-
ter's happiness. or, more correctly, he
convinced himself that the two inter
ests We're identical. In the eyes of
Professor Cation a man who did not
care for scarabs was no man at all.
His only interest in Paul lay in the
latters possession of the odd scarab,
the like of which he had not seen be-
fore in his vast experience. He was
shocked at the careless fashion in
which Paul carried it about in his
waistcoat pocket. and when, just be-
fore the younger mans departure. he
found the precious scarab on the stairs
he told himself it served Paul right if
he lost the treasure.
At the moment he had no thought of
retaining it, hut when Paul, missing
the scarab. made inquiry the profess
sor-why he would not say-denied hay-
ing seen it and the mischief was done.
He told himself that he would pretend
to find it before Paul left, but now
Paul was gone. and the scarab still re-
posed in the private compartment of
the professors safe, while the finder
went about with a heavy sense of
guilt.
Not by any chance would it be pos
sible no.y to find the missing treas
ure. and the impulse for moment
had made him thief.
The thought gave him an odd sense
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-09-28
A Phosphorus Lamp.

Get a small vial of clear glass and
into it put piece OF phosphorus
about the size of pea. Then pour in
until one-third full some pure olive oil
heated to the boiling point and cork
the vial tightly. To get light at any
time you have only to remove the cork
and let some air get into the vial and
then put in the cork again. This viii
cause the whole empty space In the
vial to become luminous. the light be-
ing strong enough to enable you to see
the time by watch or a clock When
the light grows dim take out the cork
again and then replace it as before In
cold weather il may be necessary to
warm the vial between the hands to
take the chill out of the oil--Chicago
News
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-09-28
POCKETS IN BOYS CLOTHES.
They Should Be Made Amply Large
For His Purposes.

Pockets IN boys clothing must be
made amply large One piece should
be one inch longer than the other The
longer piece should be faced at the top
with Il piece of the cloth two inches
wide. and this should be stitched fat
To adjust the pocket if the opening
is straight turn down the upper edge
of the smaller piece one-quarter OF an
inch and place it with the raw edge
Just turned next to the wrong side of
the garment and haste it in position
with the upper edge one-eighth of an
inch below the pocket opening. Stitch
from the right side. Lay the longer
piece on top of the pocket piece just
sewed with the cloth facing next to
the garment and the lower edges of
the pieces perfectly even, one-eighth
of an inch above the upper edge of
the pocket opening. Basic this to the
garment straight across.
The stitching used to finish the peck
ct will hold each piece in place. after
which the edges of the pockets are
turned over one-quarter of an inch all
around and stitched. The ends of the
pockets are finished on the right side
with a buttonholder bar.
b The side pockets in the trousers are
made by basting to the front portion Il
piece OF cloth one and one-half inches
wide and sufficiently long to extend
one-half inch above and one inch be-
low the notches at the top and bottom
that Indicate the pocket opening. The
two pocket pieces are cut from lining
material and must be amply large. the
size varying with the age of the boy.
Basic one side of the pocket piece
to the front of the trousers over the
facing just applied. so that one row of
stitching will hold them both. and
In any case never send n stained cloth
or table napkin to be washed. 1t is
stitch from notch. then stitch the edge
of the facing to the pocket.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-09-28
The kaiser's Joke,

During the German maneuyers re-
Gently Il company of Dragons was
told off to represent q convoy of wag-
ons. The kaiser. riding over the field
of battle and seeing Il Dragon lying
on the ground. said to him:
We'll. what are you lying down
there for?''
L am representing a wagon. your
majesty" replied the soldier.
Are you:'' said the kaiser We'll.
get mp and go and join the others,'
THAT is impossible. your majesty
said the soldier. because / have lost
one of my wheels. ---..-
The emperor burst out laughing and,
giving the man shillings. observed,
Here's something for you to get the
other wheels oiled with Paris NIatin
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-09-28
TABLE LINEN ECONOMY.
Adequate Supply of Two Grades Ad-
Nisahle-Care of the Tabl ecIoth

Adequate Supply of Two Grades Ad-
visable-Care of the TableoIoth.
While it is impossible to absolutely
regulate quantities of table linen, few
households can do with less than half
Il dozen large tablecloths, n dozen ta-
bic napkins and half Il dozen afternoon
tea cloths of varying degrees of or
nateneSs, besides tray cloths. Nearly
every ordinary woman will find it wise
linen. best and ordinary. Linen should
never be allowed to get low all around,
so that each article requires replenish-
ing at the same time.
Two large tablecloths should be kept
in use at once, one for breakfast and
one for dinner. Crumbs should be re-
moved. and the cloth should always be
handled carefully. To fold Il table
cloth in the same creases each time it
tends to make the cloth wear into
holes in the folds very quickly
In case of stains upon tablecloth
it is not necessary to change it imme-
diateIy. Try the effect of putting a
bowl under the stained part and pour
ing boiling water through until the
stain disappears In case of fruit
stains cover the mark first with salt
Then remove the basin and press the
wet part between two rather heavy
folded clean towels When nearly dry
press lightly with fairly warm iron.
Philadelphia Press.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-09-28
For Our Boy and Girl Readers
WHAT AM | DOING?
A Game In Which Absurd Gestures,
Etc, Are Made

The players take their seats in a
straight row. Behind them the person
chosen to lead the game takes his
stand. Placing himself directly behind
the players seated at the top of the
row. he begins to behave in the most
absurd manner possible-for instance,
making grimaces. shaking his fist. rails
ing his arms over his head. ETC.; any
foolish gesture he can think of he
may make. Then he asks the player
before him. What am l doing?" If
the player cannot guess he must rise
and initiate in silence the antic he
could not divine till he has permission
to stop.
More often than not the players can
not guess what the unseen questioner
is doing. and as each in turn has to
rise and continue the unguessed ges-
ture the spectacle becomes very laugh
able when five or six are repeating the
late performances of their leader but
for a smile they pay forfeit and for
a laugh two forfeits- This is fun for
little folks.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-09-28
. GO 30 . Q Q o o 600
Kitchen ak.

Wind wrapping Irvine into balls
when taken from parcels. 1t is an
easy way to dispose of it. and it will
be found useful i'll many ways
Rub fatirons over waxed paper be-
fore setting them away and they will
keep bright and smooth.
Wipe the kitchen oiIcloth with
SKINNED milk This treatment is al
most as beneficial to the cloth as a
coat of varniSh
Ia baking biscuits have the oven
quite hot at first. but lower the tenn
perature just IL little before the biscuits
are ready to take cut. This will aid
materially i'll making the biscuits light.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-09-28

The tough luck is tough.
And the steep hills are steep:
The rough road is rough.
And it's mournful to weep.
There are burdens to bear
That are heavy. l know.
But aren't the skies fair
When the trouble clouds go?
Admitting that pain
Is encountered on earth.
That frequently rain
Comes 10 dampen our mirth.
That sadness is found
AS we tread on our way,
Aren't the joys that abound
Most delightfully."- gay?
The tough luck is tough.
And some troubles are great,
And the rough roads are rough.
And love suffers from hate.
But isn't it true
That the pleasures we meet
When our skies become blue
Are delightfully."- sweet2
Detroit Free Press
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-09-28
THE ENDLESS GALLERY.

English children find great deal of
amusement in a little homemade toy
based on little optical illusion and
known as the "endless gallery En-
terprising boys can easily construct
one of these galleries. and, on looking
through the eyehole. they viii get a
view of great length and breadth ap-
parently endless. This box should be
made eighteen inches long. twelve inch
es wide and nine deep. and against
each end place a plane mirror within
one-eighth of an inch of the height Of
the box Then a small hole should be
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-09-28
oman and the Home Sphere
RULES FOR MAKING PASTRY.
Goodness of Room and Hand and Tenn
perature of Oven Important


The important things to remember
when making pastry are these: First,
the room and the makers working
hand shoSld be cool: second. the ingre-
dents should be of good quality; third.
the temperature of the oven should be
just right These rules must be care
fully followed in preparing pun pastry
of the airy kind.
To insure good. fiaky crust use
half a pound of butter or a quarter
o. a pound of butte. and the same of
lard to one pound of -four. Divide the
butter into four parts, rub one of them
into the flour, with which a small tea
spoonful of baking powder should be
mixed and a little salt. Make it into a
paste. turn it on the lightly Toured
slab and roll it out into long strip
Add another portion of the butter cut
in little bits. flour lightly. fold the paste
in three. turn it out and press the sides
together with the pin-this is to ex-
clude the air-roll it out again into
strip.
Add the remaining portions of but
ter in the same way. rolling it out be-
tween additions: then. after the last
rolling. let the paste remain on ice or
in Il cool place for an hour =
This paste is good for meat pie, pat
ties or tarts- A squeeze of lemon juice
added to the paste helps to render it
light in texture and white in color
Fine pastry can be made with beef
suet- The suet should be skinned. fine
ly chopped. pounded in mortar and
If dry moistened with salad OIL 1t
should then be the consistency of but
ter. Equal portions of flour and suet
are needed.
The flour is heaped on the slab and
well made in its center, into which
the beaten yolk of an egg and a few
drops of lemon juice are putt also a
pinch of salt A little cold water makes
this into soft dough. 1t is rolled out
and fourth part of the suet spread
on 1t. The rest of the process is the
same as in the preceding recipe
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-09-28
USES OF MINING WASTE.
Refuse From Lead and Zinc Ores Has
Become a Handy Material

Become a Handy Material.
For miles about the city OF Joplin.
Jasper county, Mo-, lead and zinc ores
are being removed from the earth in
tremendous quantities To facilitate
matters the rough product is crushed
into small pieces, permitting. the valu-
able portions to be removed from the
lime and flint which compose the bod
of the ores
Thousands OF tons of this rocky MAJ
terial accumulate each month. and for
years great piles of what the workmen
call ..chats" were to be found scattered
all over that section
Roads were constructed from this
refuse Then all the railroads entering
that section used it for ballast. ~
When cement paving was begun
gravel was scarce while this refuse
was TO be had in great quantities. and
it was found to be as good as any other
material for the body of concrete paw
ing.
Next the refuse found its way into
cement foundations and then into
building blocks used as steps. window
caps and sills and. in fact. almost any
thing in the form of cement construc-
ton.
Thousands of fenceposts have been
cast from it. and now whole buildings
are being built with it,
1t is cheap, costing but, a trifie per
load. and about all the outlay of con-
tractors in securing it is the cost of get
ting it to the place it is to be used. 1t
has brought down the price of cement
work, and mechanics declare it is first
class in every respect.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-09-28
Our /IluStrAted StOry
The Coveted Scarab
By AMANDA nERRIwETHER

of anger. He blamed not alone HIM
self. but Paul. whose carelessness had
made the theft possible. At first he
had argued that it served Paul right.
but now the tiny scarab had grown TO
the weight of a milestone about his
neck z@e
He did not dare take it sout and
place it in his collection He did not
even dare to look at it himself lest
Lena, coming in suddenly, as was her
wont, should discover him with the
evidence of guilt in his hand
The evil he had done preyed> upon
his health. He suddenly grew very old
and feeble. and his enthusiasm for his
collection waned- The thought that his
hobby had made of him thief was
bitter indeed. and in the long silence
of the night he tossed sleepless on his
bed and cursed the day he had seen
the scarab on the stairs
Paul Lad taken his loss as a slight
thing and after casual inquiry had
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1912-09-28

cut through one end and likewise
through the mirror resting against it
Mirrors should also be placed on the
longer side of the box Cut grooves at
various length across the box. and in
these fit small colored figures. trees.
etc. having been previously cut out
from cardboard and bearing the same
representation on either side. At the
end of - place similar figures. leav-
ing plenty of mirror space behind. The
top OF the box should be of ground
glass or oiled paper. The view Is sur
prising