Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1912-01-26
At the End of the RGinbow
CANNED SYMPHONIES.


THE man in the house next door has
invested his hard earned savings in a
photograph" said the morose Poarder,
land he keeps 1t going every evening
just when I want to read some uplifting
book Unless he can be suppressed /
foresee that I'll have to hunt another
boarding house, for 1 can't stand it to
hear corn shelter trying to sing When
the Daisies Bloom, Dear every even
ing" -
st trust you will seek another board
ing house, said the star boarder polite
ly. "Such a proceeding would give gem
eral satisfaction. As William Clarence
Shakespeare remarked, the man who is
not charmed by the concord of sweet
sounds is fit for treasons, strategems and
spoils, and some extremely sweet sounds
are produced by the photograph next
door, and by all other high class phono-
graphs which are properly oiled. There
is something wrong with the man who
protests against the photograph, and
he should take his head to a cobbler
and have it half soled. 1t is true that
man with bargain counter phono-
graph and a few second hand records
can I'LL neighborhood with grief, but
the same thing is true of the outcast
who has bad violin or mouth organ
or trombone.
baked humorists in boarding houses and
elsewhere to say biting, caustic things
of the photograph. These humorists are
the descendants of thu merry men who
used to insist in print and on the stage
that a mother-in-law In the house is
worse than a contagious disease. A
quarter of a century ago you couldn't
pick up an almanac or a comic paper
without seeing the mother-in-law held up
to scorn and contumely.
"In the course of time the. joke con-
corning this admirable female became
so halt, lame and blind that 1t was
forced into retirement, and then the
stove pipe joke made its triumphant de-
but 1t was held by American humor-
lists for many years that the chief en-
ployment of the married man was putting
UP stove pipes, and that such employment
caused him to mutilate the English Ian
guage beyond recognition. This truly
Irresistible quip did yoeman service for
MANY wears. until II was discovered by
committee of savants that the average
married man seldom has anything to
do with stove pipes.
"yThen came the monograph jest
which has contributed TO the gayety
of the nations for several years, and
which appears to have a long career
of usefulness before 1t. When man
appears in society and wishes TO con-
vulse people with merriment he makes
some casual reference to a photograph,
and everybody lies down on the floor
and INDUCES in apoplectic mirth.
Now, the truth is that the phono-
graph is one of the greatest blessings of
this age of blessings. 1 have married
friend at whose humble abode l pass
an evening once in a while, and every
time / got there he furnishes free
concert with his music mill He is
photograph f1end and Keeps his machine
going most of the time when he is at
home Perhaps some of the neighbors
are sore about it, but what of it? If
man can't open a few cans of music
in his own home. what's the use of
having a home?
Before he got the photograph habit
my friend was a restless, dissatisfied
man. He didn't know what to do in the
long winter evenings. He got tired or
beating his wife and jawing the chill
dren, and his eyes were too weak to read
much. and he was trial to himself
and everybody else He liked music
but 1t cost a good deal to go to con-
certs and take his tribe along. He be-
longed to a club, but he .was--4 PSS%
hand at poker and generally lost
"Then he was persuaded to buy a
phonograph and his nights were filled
with music and the care that infested
the days folded their umbrellas and
chased themselves He gets some hap
piness out of that little box with a
sheet iron horn attached than the mill
lionaire gets out of his yacht, and his
wife and children have an equal share
He buys record for few kopecks and
plays it a million times, and enjoys it
every time.
'Tell me, If you can, of another
amusement as cheap and satisfying. The
photograph has made home life in this
country twice as attractive as it used
to be, and 1t makes my blood boil in my
veins when I hear an a1eck speaking of
the canned music grinder in sighting
terms, in misguided effort to be
funny.
"And do hope my dear Mrs. Jiggers,
that you use distilled water when dilut-
ing the milk for this table.