Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1912-01-20
CLEMENS THE BOY
The Budding Humorist Was the
Terror OF His Mother.
HE YEARNED TO BE A PIRATE

Mark Twain the boy was leader of
a band Of young incorrigibles. accord
ing TO Albert Bigelow Paine. Twain's
secretary and biographer. who in nar-
pcrs tells something of their Juvenile
goings on:
His mother declared that he gave her
more trouble than all the other chill
dren put together.
"He drives me crazy with his didoes
when he Is in the house." she used to
say. "and when he is out OF II ! am
expecting every minute that some one
win bring him home half dead"
He did. In fact. achieve the first of his
nine narrow escapes from drowning"
about this time and was pulled out Of
the river one afternoon and brought
home In limp and unpromising con
dition When with mullen ten and cas-
tor oil she had restored him to activ.
ity she said:
II guess there wasn't much danger
People born 10 be hanged are safe In
water"
She declared she was willing to pay
somebody to take him or her hands
for II part OF each day and try to teach
him manners.
Resides his mother. who had to con.
tend with the bad boy. was his school.
teacher. certain Miss Horr. Mr.
Paine tells how unlike TO bed of roses
was her lot.
Miss Horr received % cents a week
for each pupil and opened her school
with prayer. after which came chap
ter of the Bible. with explanations and
the rules or conduct. Then the A y C
class was called because its recital
was hand to hand struggle. requir
ing no preparation.
The rules OF conduct that first day
Interested little Sam. He calculated
how much lie would need TO trim In 10
sail close TO the danger line and still
avoid disaster. However, he made n
characterization during the forenoon and
received warning second offense
would mean punishment. He did not
mean 10 be caught the second time.
but he had not learned Miss Horr yet
and was presently startled by being
commanded TO 20 out and bring stick
for his own correction.
This was certainly disturbing. II
was sudden. and then he did not know
much about the selection OF sticks
lane Clemens had usually used her
hand II required second command
10 get him headed In the right dlrec
ton. and he was triie daZed when
he got outside. He had the forests of
Missouri 10 select from. but choice was
difficult. Everything looked too big
and competent. Even the smallest
switch had wiry. discouraging look
Across the way was cooper shop
with n good many shnvings outside.
One had blown across and lay Just In
front OF him. II was an inspiration.
He picked II up and. solemnly enter.
ing the schoolroom. meekly handed II
TO Miss Horn
Perhaps Miss Horr's sense OF humor
prompted forgiveness. but discipline
must be maintained
Samuel Ianghorne Clemens" she
said The had never heard II all strung
together In that ominous wayl. II am
ashamed of you. Jimmy Dunlap. go
bring In switch for sammy" And
Jimmy Dunlap went. and the switch
was OF sort 10 give the little boy an
immediate and permanent disthste for
school He Informed his mother when
he went home NJ noon that he did not
care for school: that he had no desire
to be- great man: that he preferred
10 be n pirate or an Indian and scalp
or drown such people rs Miss Horr.
Young sam conceived the notion that
pirates life would be joyous and.
with n couple OF pals. cruiscd the Mis-.
siSSippi
Some OF their expeditions were limo
cent enough They often cruised up TO
Turtle island about two miles above
Hannibal. and spent the dag feasting
You could have loaded car with tur
ties and their eggs mp there and there
were quantities. Of mussels and plenty
Of fish Fishing aud swimming were
their chief pastimes. with general ma
raudlng for adventure. Where the rail
road bridge now ends on the Missouri
side was their favorite swimming hole
that and along Rear creek. seclud
cd, limpid water with special interests
Of IFS own. Sometimes nj evening they
swan across 10 Glasscock's island. the
rendezvous OF Tom Sawyer's "Black
Avengers" and the hiding place of
Huck and Niger Jim. Once. though
this was considerably later when he
was sixteen. sam Clemens swan across
TO the Illinois side and then turned
and swan back again without land
ing. q distance OF at least two miles a
he had 10 go He was seized with
cramp on the return trip His legs
became useless and he was obliged TO
make the remaining distance with bis
arms Il was n hardy life they led.
and II IL not recorded that they ever
did any serious damage. though they
narrnwlv missed IL sometimes