New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-12-25
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

4 youth from the country was paying
his first visit TO Manhattan and. accom-
panied By his uncle. New York banker,
went 70 the theatre While waiting IN tho
lobby before the performance the country
boy flung back his coat and with hands
In his pockets displayed a heavy gold
watch chain. The uncle observed the act
and resolved 10 teach him lesson.
While his attention was diverted the UNI
Gle slipped the watch and chain from the
boys vest and they entered the theatre.
What time IS IT." he asked when they
were seated The country youth felt Tor
his timepiece and found that it was gone
Allowing him 10 make a thorough search
FOR II. the uncle told him he had taken II
and read him a sharp lecture. you are
not in tho country now, you know. where
Won can display yaluables with inpun!ty'
You should DO more careful Let this be
a lesson To- you." So saying. he slipped
his hand into his coat pocket where he
had put tie watch. To his utter dismay
he found st was gone. And when he
looked TO sac n his own was safe he
found that also had taken wings.
Blobbs-Good thing Methusclsh was a
man and not woman.
SlObhs-Whyf
Blobbs-Wcll. II he had been woman
we would never have known how old she
really Philadelphia Record
CHRISTMAS
Say.
This is Christmas Day
And it's a good thing.
No matter how the cynics ninK
Iusinuations at IL
And say they'd shed no tears
" Christmas came but half day
in n'nety-seven years.
OF course II has discomforts.
OF course IL isn't quite
The sublimated essence
or unalloyed delight
But, say.
It's a day
That stands for something better
Than any Of us are
A Weakening OF the spirit
OF old Judeas Star.
And there's a great big reason
That once year
we should nave Drlght season
OF Christmas cheer
Peace on earth; good will to men:
Let cynics heed these words and then
No longer will they bite and sting.
But, like the children. laugh and sing
Oh, say.
Take Christmas away.
And YOU take from the world a blessing.
You take from the hearts OF men
The spirit OF cheer
Which ono time a year
Makes them like children again
SO here's TO good old Christmas.
With its troubles and its cheer.
And no matter what
They say IL is not,
It's n mighty good thing every year.
W. J. HAMPTON.
"They say il took the suffragette pro-
cession four hours to pass a given point
said Goslng.
That's nothing" said Goozeberry.
My wife got talking. ON suffrage the
other day, and she didn't get past a
given point for nine ours.'--Iiarper's
Weekly.
The graduation OF Manly Rice from tho
hat rack in n ST. Louis hotel To place
among the hotel proprietors of that city
was spoken Of In the presence OF New
York hotel man, who said that he knew
OF many similar instances In New York
if waiter" may be substituted for hat
rack man" zone Of the largest beer
restaurants In the Yorkville district he
said. lis now owned by two men who
for years were walters In the same place.
Some years ago the proprietor OF similar
resort got into financial difficulties, and
his place was taken over by waiter
who had some money and rich friend.
In n few years he amassed what he con-
sidered "A fortune sold out went to
visit his family In Germany and re-
turned. determined to live on his income. ]
He soon tired OF inactivity and became
speculator. He is waiter now In the
place which he once owned"
IT got arrested again on account OF that
automobile of mine" remarked Mr.. Chug-
gins.
Exceeding the speed limit"
NO. On the contrary. II wouldn't move
and a policeman overheard what | said
about it."-Washington Star.
THE absence from Vienna Of the Amer
lean Ambassador 10 Austria and the
death Of Vice-President Sherman would