davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The herald., 1912-12-26
Why Rain Clouds Are Black

The color of cloud depends on the
manner in which the sunlight falls
upon 1t and the position of the observ.
er. 1t will be noticed that high clouds
are always white or light In color, and
this Is because the light by which they
are seen is reflected from the under
surface by the numberless drops of
moisture which go to form the cloud.
Heavy rain clouds, on the other hand,
are found much nearer the earth. and
so the light falls on them more direct
ly from above, giving silver lining to
the cloud, though the undersurface ap-
pears black owing to the complete re-
Election and absorption of the light by
the upper layers. Seen from above by
an observer in balloon, the blacklist
rain clouds appear of the most daz-
zlingly brilliant white.
The herald., 1912-12-26
Droppinu the English al"

In the days when packet ships ran
between New York and London a
youthful passenger asked the English
mate of the Christiana what there was
in the leather tubing around the gun
wales Of the lifeboats.
Hair, sir" he answered.
as there anything peculiarly buoy
ant about hair?" asked the American
youth.
"If you don't know that you don't
know much" replied the mate, with a
look of contempt as he moved TO an
other part of the ship.
The youth was Inundated and few
days later asked the captain why hair
was so buoyant in water. That au-
thority replied that he didn't know that
1t was and inquired why the youth
thought II was so.
"Why, sir. your mate told me that
there was hair in the tubes Of the life
boats to make them float when cap
sized"
"Ah" answered the captain. laugh.
ing. Hes Cockney; he means air"
The herald., 1912-12-26
The New Maid.

Mrs. Brown-Jones (Which isn't hel
name at all, nor nothing like it, has 6
new parlor maid. Last Thursday was
Mrs. BIS day at home. Six caller:
were at the door. and each profferet
her card.
Hilda looked the cards over care
fully one by one.
"Youse ladies ISIS all wronk" she de
cided finally. Zone Of your tickets iss
fer Mrs. Choseph Thompson, one is;
fer Mrs. Miller, one ISIS fer Miss Chenk:
and Miss Mabel Chenks-and der
dere's tree odders, all wronk names
yet. Try next door. Goodby!
Then she went back to her mistress
"None of 'em wanted to see you," she
beamed. "Deir tickets vas fer oddel
houses. guess maybe dey amt lifted
here longw-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The herald., 1912-12-26
THRIFTY NAPOLEON.
He Made Sure of Being Served With
Honesty and Economy.

Emperor Napoleon l., dressed in
plain clothes, often visited the markets
Of Paris in order to learn the current
prices of food and find out whether
his household officers served him with
honesty and economy. In Foreign
"reminiscences" Richard Lord Hol
land says that this was only one illus
tration Of the emperors thrift and
shrewdness.
When the Tuilleries was being repair
ed Napoleon suspected that the up
holsterer's charges were higher than
they should be. So he asked one of
his ministers, who was with him, how
much the ivory egg at the end of the
bell rope ought TO cost.
81 do not know" was the answer.
at shall be ascertained," said Ma
poleon. Thereupon he cut off the ivory
handle, called for a valet, babe him
dress himself in plain clothes, inquire
the price of such articles at several
shops in Paris and order a dozen as If
for himself.
The valet bought them for two-thirds
of the price that the emperor had had
to pay. Napoleon, inferring that the
-~-sa A"A-aL~-s- hod hnon made i'm
the other articles, deducted d third
from the entire account and Informed
the tradesman that it was done at his
own express command because on in
vestgation he had found the charges
to be exorbitant.
The herald., 1912-12-26
Ancient 1ippino

Tipping is an exaction Of no recent
growth. Describing life at the court of
King Henry II. Of England. Peter of
Blois complains of the importantly of
the medieval marshals. whose annoy.
ances continue until they get some
thing from you and are most ungratefuI
when they have-nay. open enemies
unless your hand is continuously in
your pocket" while the "outer porters
will tell you the most unblushing false
hoods, and If you are an honest and
religious man. but have given them
nothing the day before, they will keep
you an unreasonable time standing In
the rain and mire"
The herald., 1912-12-26
Lambs Stammer.

II you must stammer try to stammel
to yourself. When you have tut-tutted
and gur-gurred sufficiently to your
self you will be ready with the word
1t is quite astonishing how soon the
inaudible stammer becomes unneces
sary and the word is whipped out
But there are some men who hug a
misunderstanding always in the
right place-lifting curiosity to tiptoe
In the listener. Charles Lamb STAN
mered, but always In the right place
as when he went to buy cheese 1.-THE
story may be quite untrue). The shop
. man offered to send 1t home. Lamb
Inspected 1t. Then he asked for a
bit Of string. 81 think" he said. ~
could Ll-i-l-ead 1t home" London
Spectator.
The herald., 1912-12-26
A DREAM AND A CRIME.
The Story Of SIumber Vision Tina
Comes From Cicero.

ne story or Slumber vision That
Comes From Cicero.
Cicero furnishes us with a tale OF
two Arcadians, who, travelling togeth
er, arrived at Niagara, a city Of Greece,
between Athens and Corinth, where
one of them lodged in a friends house
and the other at an inn.
After supper the person who lodged
at the private house went to bed and,
falling asleep, dreamed that his friend
at the inn appeared to him and beg
ged his assistance, because the inn
keeper was going to kill him.
The man Immediately got out of bed,
much frightened at the dream; but, re-
covering himself and falling asleep
again, his friend appeared to him a
second time and desired that, as he
would not assist him in time, he would
at least care not to let his death go I'M
punished-that the innkeeper, having
murdered him, had thrown his body in
cart and covered 1t with rubbish.
He therefore begged that he would be
at the city gate in the morning before
the cart was out.
Struck with this new dream, he went
early to the gate, saw the cart and
asked the driver what was in it. The
driver Immediately fed. The dead
body was taken out of the cart and
the innkeeper apprehended and exc
cuted.
The herald., 1912-12-26
BENT BACK THE RULE.
Where Sauce For the Goose Was Not
Sauce For the Gander.

In the early days Of a certain clui
Of New York, when II was rather
harder shedding for the club than II l.
the council the question came up H.
to the arrears of members dues. ana
the treasurer reported that one man
was particularly recreant in this regard
1t was in the winter, and the club WAS
then maintaining throughout the da,
and evening beautifully heated auG
lighted quarters. At this time the
only person in the club who ire
quented it every day was this de-
linquent, who. In addition to doing a
large portion of his writing there. was
accustomed to make considerable In
roads upon the stationery of the club
for home consumption.
At the meeting Of the council re
ferred to there was protest against
this state of affairs, and a determine
ton was manifest to put an end to it.
and after discussion the secretary was
instructed to notify the member In
question that his name had been
dropped from the rolls of the club.
The question then arose whether
there was anybody else who was In ar.
rears, whereupon the treasurer report
ed that this was true Of another mem
Der.
"Who can that be2 Let US make an
example Of them both," remarked one
member. bringing his fist down on
the table for emphasis. The reply
was that 1t was Mr.. X, the poet.
ooh, heavensT' replied another. 1--WE
can't let X. go. He's too important to
the club"
Whereupon the resolution was then
amended to read as follows: Re
solved, that the secretary be instruct.
ed to drop the name Of Mr.. Q. from
the rolls of the club for nonpayment
Of dues and to retain the name Of Mr.
x. for the same reason."-Century.
The herald., 1912-12-26
Spencer and CoIors.

Herbert Spencer's notions Of art were
very crude. His favorite color was
what he called "impure purple" He
wore impure purple" gloves and. find
ing that the furniture was a little som.
Der. had binding Of impure purple
pasted around 1t by a seamstress. He
cut the first strip himself and showed
her how to stick it on with paste. He
had his vases filed with artificial flow.
ers. He wished to have everything
bright about him and consequently en-.
joyed color. When it was suggested he
could get that in real flowers he re-
piled: Boob! They would want con-
slant replenishingw He wanted to
know why the people should object to
artificial flowers in a room any more
than to an artificial landscape.-"Home
Life With Herbert Spencer"
The herald., 1912-12-26
The Harvest,

Where the river winds through grassy
meadows as sure as the south wind
brings the rain. sounding his note in
the reedy alders, the starting comes
back to his nest again. Are these not
miracles? Promptly you answer.
Merely the prose of natural fact;
nothing but instinct plain and patent.
born in the creatures, that bids them
act" Well, have an instinct as fine
and valid, surely, as that of the beasts
and birds, concerning death and the
life immortal. too deep for logic. too
vague for words No trace of beauty
can pass or perish, but other beauty is
somewhere born; no seed of truth or
good be planted, but the yield must
grow as the growing corn.-Bliss Car.
man.
The herald., 1912-12-26
Won a Grim Smile.

A certain European regiment sta
toned in northern India has a colonel
who has only once been seen to laugh
A private Of this corps, while a
prisoner in the guard room for a mill
tary offense, bet the sergeant Of the
guard rupees that he would make
the commanding officer laugh when be
was taken before him.
In due course, after reading the
charge, the colonel asked the prisoner
"Have you anything to sayT
81 won't say anything more about it.
sir, If you won't" was the unexpected
reply.
The grim race relaxed, but the stern
decision came all the same:
Fourteen days confined to bar
racks."-London Answers.
The herald., 1912-12-26
Giving Him a Choice,

II don't want oatmealw screamed the
kid.
you must have oatmeal" said bis
father.
"Never force anything on a child like
that" interposed uncle, who has thee
ries. always give the child a choice
"All right" said the father. "Now
kid, you can have oatmeal or you can
have a clip on the jaw. Which is itY'
The child took Observation-Disclosures
Herald.
The herald., 1912-12-26
Where the Gray Hairs Came From

The attitude of the commanding
generals of the north and the south
toward each other, after the final sur
render, writes Mr.. Thomas Nelson
Page in his book on General Lee is
one that the world regarded with as
constituent, and the Americans may
forever look back upon with pride In
illustration, Mr.. Page offers an ell
gag1ng anecdote from LonE'o memoir
Of Lee.
1t appears that on the afternoon 6f
the day of the surrender at Appomat
tox, Meade paid friendly visit 10 Lee
at his headquarters. In the course of
the conversation Lee turned to Meade.
who had been associated with him rs
his officer Of engineers In the "old
army" and said, pleasantly:
MEADE. years are telling on you.
Your hair is getting quite gray"
"Ah. General Lee" was Meade's
prompt reply. that is not the work of
years. You are responsible for my
gray hairs"
The herald., 1912-12-26
THE COUNTRY BANKER.
His Standing In and His Grip Upon
His Own Community.

The first public convenience q new
commodity wants is a bank. Outlines
1t comes before the church or a news
paper; but, as q rule, 1t follows both.
1t Is hard to beat the editor and the
preacher.
If the influence exercised by the
bankers Of our great cities constitutes
a menace to the public welfare. what
shall we say of the grip that the little
bank noIus on lJs community Inc So
called country banker to succeed
must be eminent for all the qualities
that make up truly good man. Usu.
ally he Is a church member and often
a Sunday school teacher. He is con
suited by politicians regarding the local
government. and the candidate who
has his appreciation Is envied. for he is
usually the winner. To the country
banker are contided the troubles. do
nestle as well as financial. of all who
have access to him. And everybody
seeks to have access.
The banker Is first to- subscribe to
CfCly 6OOu NduSC- NC 10 tbC NOlh
munity's adviser as to investments and
the arbitrator of its business contro
versies. His word Is as good as his
bond. and to his credit 1t must be
added that, with rare exceptions. 1t
deserves to be. he asks few favors,
and these are always granted. he is
the center Of the social life of his VI
cinity. His voice Is that Of authority
He is loved. respected. admired and
feared. The banker Is a man of In
tegrity. The slightest cloud on him or
on his bank will settle them both. In
this matter he stands with the preach.
er. So, from selfish considerations, II
from no other. the banker must be de.
serving Of the trust reposed In him
by his fellow citizens.
Who wouldn't be the country bank.
er?-Leslie's.
The herald., 1912-12-26
Her Last Card.

IL want new bonnet. but my hus.
band says he can't afford it."
"Is that final, do you SUPPOSED"
HE says 1t Is. but won't know
until tonight"
Going to get a definite answer
thenT
Eyes. I'm going to settle 1t one
way or the other I'm going to start
to cry when he gets home, and If that
doesn't work there'll be no new bon
net"-Detroit Free Press.
The herald., 1912-12-26
Tho Tact Market.

Chancellor James r. Day was once
advising a young undergraduate of
Syracuse university to cultivate tact
"But, alas" he said, 81 fear that advice
on such a subject must always be
wasted On tact the last word was
spoken by Barley d'Aureville when he
said:
:" If tact could be bought only those
already possessed Of it would want to
buy it,"
The herald., 1912-12-26
The Cleaning.

Whats the cleaning, Uncle Will
hamT
"Well, before a man is married It is
the time to take a walk with the girl
he loves. but after he is married It is
the time he falls over rocking horses
and building blocks on the parlor
floor. "-London Telegraph.
The herald., 1912-12-26
Airs Fish For the poetor,. Ne,

why. the size of your BILL" cried
the angry patient to the doctor. makes
me boil all overr'
"Ah"' said the eminent practitioner
calmly. THAT will be just $50 more
for sterillzing your system. Ladies'
Home Journal
The herald., 1912-12-26
PURPOSE and Sucness

1t is the old lesson-a worthy pur-
pose, patient energy for its accomplish.
ment a resoluteness undaunted by diff
ficulties and then SUCCESSIVE. NJ. Pun
shon.
The herald., 1912-12-26
In Doubt.

Ethel (who is not famous for her
good iooks)-I don't see why you should
call Miss Whitmore plain. I'm sure /
only wish I were half as good looking
as she is. Fred-You are, Ethel; you
know you are. (And Ethel is wonder
ing whether he meant to compliment
herr
The herald., 1912-12-26
WAYS Of Wives.

IT see this paper says that wife Is
entitled to one-third Of the husbands
salary"
"Yes; but the trouble is that so many
wives don't seem to know which third
Il Is and take all three!'
The herald., 1912-12-26
preierred tho Ache.

Mr. Frankleigh-l have nervous
headache tonight. Miss Queeler-lNe
heard that music will cure anything OF
a nervous origin. Shall ] sing TOT you
Mr.. Frankleigh-Oh. it doesn't acne as
had as that.-Musical Courier.
The herald., 1912-12-26
A Biography In q Nutshell.

Born, welcomed, caressed. cried. fed.
grew. amused, reared, studied, examin'
ed, graduated. in love. loved, engaged.
married. quarreled. reconciled, suffered.
deserted, taken i'll, died, mourned, bur
fed and forgotten.
The herald., 1912-12-26
Doinq Riuht,

Doing the right, or what you honestly
believe to be right. breeds courage in
accordance with natural law. It IN.
spires resolve, and in its wake come
. host Of minor virtues.
The herald., 1912-12-26
Her Quick Wit

He-Your new hat is charming, but I
fancy it doesn't go well with that
dress. She (enchanted)-Oh, you dear
old hubby, so you really mean to buy
me q dress as well?
The herald., 1912-12-26
Johnny on the Spot.

Johnny" said the teacher. write
sentence using the words horse
sense"
Johnny wrote, Zone night pa forgot
to lock the stable, and he hasn't seen
his horse sense."-Kansas City Star.
The herald., 1912-12-26
ATTACKING HIS Beauty.

uotoI Guest-Iook here. This ifir
ror is SO dirty that can't see NY
face in II. insolent Servant-lt striK'e
me YOU ought to be thankful Tor 'hal'
cir instead of making trouble about
ttl-London Telegraph.
The herald., 1912-12-26
A Dead One.

"The doctor says that ] will i've
about year."
THAT will be a great change for
you"
what willr'
"Iiying."-New York Press.
The herald., 1912-12-26
His Resources About Exhausted

Father-Do you think you can SUD-
port her in the style to which she has
been accustomed? Suitor-Not In the
style to which she has been accus-
toned since we became engaged.
The herald., 1912-12-26
Too Swat.

Mrs. Beach-Here is a letter from
Charles. Mr.. Beach-Read It. Mrs.
Beach (reading)-My dearest darling
est mother. Mr.. Beach-Great heav-
ems! The scoundrel needs more money.
The herald., 1912-12-26
For a RAINY Nav

Mrs. Exe-My husband has some
thing laid aside for a rainy day. Mrs.
Wye-1 know N-my husbands um.
brellai
The herald., 1912-12-26
Practiced What He preacb.d

Hills-Gruet says that he believes in
keeping in touch with his fellow men.
Mills-Well, there aren't many Of them
that he hasn't touc led.
The herald., 1912-12-26

1t Is seldom that punishment. though
lame OF foot. has failed to overtake a
Villain Horace.
The herald., 1912-12-26

Duty makes Us do things we'll, but
love makes US do them beautifully
Phillips Brooks.
The herald., 1912-12-26

FREE STOPOvERS ALLOWED AT NEW
ORLEANS ON ALL RAILROAD AND
STEAMSHIP TICKETS, AFF0RDING
TOURISTS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE
THE CITY.
The herald., 1912-12-26

PoNTCHARTRAIN RAILROAD.
WEEKDAY SCHEDULE.
SOUTH.
Leave Milneburg-6 200, Z 100, 0 80 a. m,
NORTH.
Leave Pontchartrain Junction 8 80,
80, S 80, IL 90 a. m, 100, 100, 3 30,
10 p. IN.
SUNDAY SCHEDULE.
Leave Milneburg-6 90. I 10, 40 10 90,
II 80 a. m. II 80, > 80. 3 80, 90, 6 100,
100, $40 p. m.
Leave Pontchartrain Junction 80,
80. S 10, Q 10, IL 100 a. m; II :01 (; . 90,
90, 90, 80, 6 80, 40 p. m.
NEW ORLEANS GREAT NORTHERN.
(Terminal Station)
Daily Except Sunday.
c 90 a. m. Jackson, Columbia, Ty-
lertown, Folsom and Inter
mediate ................ D 90 p. M
L p. m. Folsom, Columbia. Tyler
town and intermediate. s 80 a. m
Sunday Only.
40 a. IN. Jackson, Columbia. Ty-
lertown and Intermediate. 90 p. m
6 90 p. m. Columbia, TylertOwn, Bo-
galusa and intermediate. 10 30 a. IN.
Sunday Excursions.
40 a. m. Folsom, CovingtOn, .Abita,
Springs, Vaudeville Iacombe,
Forest Glen, Bogalusa and In
lermedlate ''.''........ 3 :OO p. m
The herald., 1912-12-26

Pass Harvey's Canal minutes after leav-
ing Amesyille.
Reach Gretna Is minutes after leaving
Amesville.
Last Car leaves Gretna for Amesvile
IL 80 p. m.
last Car leaves Amesville for Gretna
IL :05 a. m.
The herald., 1912-12-26
LOUISVILLE AND NASHVILLE.
QUEEN & CRESCENT ROUTE.
Terminal Station, Canal Street

Z 80 p. m. N Y. & wash. Q 10 a. m.
Z 80 p. IN. Gin. & Asheyille. % 10 a. m.
4 AS D. m. st. Louis & Chicago. 8 10 a. m.
8 100 a. m. Gin. & Asheville. AS p. m.
@ 100 a. m. Meridian Accom-. 4 :35 p. m.
4 AS D. m. d. q. Meridian Local.
.Hattiesburg Local. 8 10 a. m.
Sunday Excursions.
Z 10 a. m. .Carriere & Int. Pts. 90 p. m.
The herald., 1912-12-26
ILLINOIS CENTRAL

IL 100 a. m. Panama Limited" Chi
cago and St. Louis. 5 100 p. m.
s 100 a. m. New Orleans Limited,
Chicago, st. Louis, Louisville
and Cincinnati ........... s :55 p. m.
Z 10 p. m. Fact Mail, Chicago, st.
Louis, Louisville and Gin. 10 :55 a. m.
9 100 a. m. Local Mail. 80. 4 90 p. m.
3 100 p. IN. Northern Express. o 10 a. m.
a aS p M r MeC %aI,r Accom- %;Sa SS m.
Southbound, "The Merry Widow stops at
all stations between McComb AMI New Or
leans.
The herald., 1912-12-26
YAzoo AND MISSISSIPPI VALLEY.

10 a. m. Delta Express 9 20 D. m.
30 p. IN Bat. Rouge Fast EXP. II 80 .. m.
10 p. m. Bayou Sara and Wood
vile passenger ......... o 40 a. m.
ii 100 p. m. Northern Express, Vicks-
burg, Monroe, Shreveport and
MempnS ............... 10 q. m.
The herald., 1912-12-26
NEW ORLEANS. SOUTHERN AND GRAND
ISLE RAILWAY co.
Between Algiers and Gretna.

Leaves Gretna, Jackson Ave; Ferry LahG-
in@1 nassing through McDonOghville, TO Al
giers. meets Canal st. Ferry, passes Third
District Ferry, Southern Pacific Terminals
and yiaduct, crossing over the Newton ST
Viaduct, the Southern PACING X. X. 1arus'
alone the roar of the y :. Naval Station.
10 the U. $. Immigration Station.
Returning over same route, meeting the
Y -. and Western Railway cars and JACK
sonAve. Ferry at Gretna.
The herald., 1912-12-26
SOUTHERN PACIFIC.

(Union Station.)
6 AS a. m. Texas Local, for Hous-
ton and all stations interme-
IL 80 a. m. Sunset Express, for
Houston, Austin, Fort Worth,
Dallas and other north Tex
II 80 a. m. Sunset Express for San no p ILL.,
Antonio, Mexico, Ell Paso,
Arizona and California -. 6 As D. m
3: 05 pm. Lafayette Local, for La
fayette and all stations in
s:S0p m. Texas Limited, for Hous- -
ton, Galveston, Austin, Waco
Fort Worth, Dallas and other
north Texas points 49,. 6 40 a. m.
ii 40 p. m. Sunset Mail, for Hous-
ton, Galveston, Waco, Fort
Worth, Dallas and other north
II AS p: m. Sunset Mail, for San 40 d. Ill.,
Antonio, Mexico El Paso,
Arizona and California Z AS a. m
TEXAS AND PACIFIC.
:35 am. - Texas Express. . o 40 p. m.
II 80 noon Texas Colorado Linn. S:55 ga. m
20 p. m. .Torras Local IL AS a. m
ZOO p. m. The Cannon Ball.. :35 o. m.
FRISCO LINES.
(From Terminal Station)
IL 40 p No.. Houston ...... 4 :15 D. m.
LOUISIANA SOUTHERN RAILWAY
New Orleans, Texas and Mexico R. R. Les
sees.)
(Station, ST. Claude and Elvsian Fieldsl
To Shell Beach and Pointe a la Hache.
Shell Beach Only.
Nv. New Orleans. 9 :05 am 4 80 pm
IT. . a x ii
The herald., 1912-12-26
Leave Shell Beach

LOUISIANA RAILWAY & NAVIGATION
COMPANY
(Terminal Station, Canal street,
No. .. No. /.
10 p. m .Ly. New Orleans. Ar S 30 a. m.
No. s. Daily Elk. Sunday No. Z.
@ 40 a. IN Lv. New Orleans. Ar. : 10 p. IN.
No. s. Sundays Only No.
g 40 a. m Lv.. New orleans. Ar. ! 80 p. In.
The herald., 1912-12-26
SCHEDULE /:

LEAVE GRETNA-5 80, 6 80, I 10, 80,
80, 9:1O, . go, 10 80. II 10,
IL 80 a. m. IL 80, 10, 80, 2 30,
$40, 8 80, 80, 10, ) 80, q 30,
10, 7 80, 80, 0 10, Q 80, 10 30,
IL 10, IL 80 p. m.
The herald., 1912-12-26

Leaves Gretna jackson Avenue Ferry
Ianding), along Copernicus Avenue, passing
Texas and Pacific and Southern Pacific De
pots to Fourth Street, thence along Fourth
Street to Public Road, crossing Harvey
Canal to Amesville.
Returning over same route, meeting the
Algiers Railway cars and Jackson Avenue
Ferry at Gretna.