davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

there are men who pursue odd ways of earning money. one class of which would be designated as goats were common expression of the times used, for it is their business to be "discharged' from the department stores in which they are "employed'' a number of times each day. or as often as necessity might demand. When a grouchy or naughty customer makes complaint of dfscourteous treat mcnt or what not against clerk one of tfe goats" is summoned to the office as the person in charge of that particular department There she is given good talking to before the angry customer and summarily dismissed and the complainant goes away rejoicing.
 Women policemen are becoming rather commonplace. We have a woman chies of police in Kansas; a town in Pennsyi- vania boasts a fair deputy sheriff, who is college graduate, and Los Angeles was the first city to appoint woman to it's police force.
 One woman in Pennsylvania earns her daily break by raising Persian cats and selling them for from $25 ito s100 each
 St S iol illli CQ0ciitiy liidhtc ldf St HdfeS to weathy cat fanciers. Still another woman in Maryland devotes her time 10 pigeon raising, claiming her income from the industry to be about s700 year.
 On, of the most unique trades of the entire list, however. is that carried on by man in Seattle. His business, and a profitable one, too. is to secure the mus taches from walrus killed in Boring Straits and sell them to the Chinese for toothpicks These stout bristles are plucked from the nose of the walrus by Indians. tide into small bundles and sold by him on the Pacific coast to agents. who ship them to Cihna, where they are in great demand. In an aged bull wal rus the bristles are about a foot lorg and nearly as thick as lead pencil. Besides being extremely tough, they can, when made into picks, be pushed between the teeth without injury to the enamel Last year this dealer cleared something like 5000 by his traffic in walrus whis- kers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28
Concerning nm Extra session

Prom all accounts Governor O Neal ex- poets to call an extra session of the leg islature. but I do not think we will have the extra session before the beginning of next year." said a prominent business man. who is more or less active in poli- tics.
 "The governor has several reform prop ositions that he wishes to have the legis- lature enact into law. and although l have not talked with the governor re- cently about an extra session am pret- ty certain that there will be one. but as I have said, not before January.
 ''I think the constitutional convention made a mistake in providing that there should be only one regular session in four years We should have biennial ses- sions Matters which the legislature has to deal with, and which are often press ing, accumulate fast. If our constitution provided for biennial sessions we would know better just where we were at. A legislative session is sometimes quite dis turbing to business interests, and that is why I think the governor will find 1t ad- visable to put off the extra session as long as possible"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28
nEFLECTI0Ns OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Sun
 Some men get more tired dodging their tcbs than others doing theirs.
 Up to 30 girl wants to pick a man for a husband; after that she is willing to be picked.
 When a man proposes to girl and she tells him to ask her father she means she has already done it.
 Life is mostly made up of owing money you cant pay and of having owed to you money you can't collect.
 A sham hero thinks his picture in the newspapers is more important than real heio's monument in Central Park.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28
President Gomez's Protest

In a cablegram addressed to Presi- dent Taft, President Gomez of the re- public of Cuba protests against inter. vention by the United States, especi- ally in view of the brief period since the revolt in Oriente began and in Iview of the efforts of the Cuban gov ernment to cope with it. It is re- volt made up of negroes in the rich agricultural districts of the most easterly province of the island.
 The assembling of battleships at Key West and the undisguised plans of this country to intervene may well alarm the Cuban government. But the chances are that intervention will not take place simply because the Cuban government will speedily crush the rebellion among the negroes of Oriente province. The ships that steamed away to Key West will then steam back again, and the hurry to intervene will be forgotten.
 There may be a good deal of home politics in a plan of intervention de- vised before the revolt of the negroes had assumed dangerous proportions. It was too sudden to be really just to sister republic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28
r,,c,rn,,,,. New Conductor

Dr. Ernst Kunwald of Berlin, who has accepted the conductorship of the Cincinnati orchestra, is one fthe most distinguished musicians of Europe.
 Leopold Stokowski, who had been the Cincinnati orchestra, is one of the most man and had high rank as an fnterpre- ter of the master composers. But he felt that he was badly treated by the music festival management when it en- gagged the Thomas orchestra of Chicago
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28
MT. Underwood Did Not Stand Alone

Mir. Underwood Did Not Stand Alone
 The Atlanta Journal in it's wild de- sire to strike at Mr. Underwood en- deavors to make the Bristow amend ment in the proposition to provide for the election by popular vote of United States senators appear as new and dreadful power to be bestowed on Con- gress.
 As a matter of fact the power to supervise and regulate senatorial elections has been vested in Congress eve, since the adoption of the con- stitution 125 years ago. How the 1o,,r,al can sfford to base it's raid aeainst MT. Underwood upon such a
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28
THE REWARDS OF BAsEBALL

Edward Dayard Moss, in Harper's
 Weekly.
 It isn't necessary to be a pitcher tp earn big money. for there are other de- partmcnts of the game in which to shine. It has been said that every world series develops Q new hero. That applies to
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28
JUST A LITTLE GIRL

"A JIftIA
 She was just a little girl-seventeeD years old, perhaps-sitting at a table in one of New York's all-night restaurants. Behind her cabaret singers prayed through their songs. A squad of lively violins shrieked and scraped. Now and then the hired dancers twisted and writhed their way through the narrow aisles, and the men and women at the tables sat up a little straighter and bought more wine. Outside rain was falling drearily. Within all was warmth and animation and clam or. The little girl was unused to it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

Don't" says the Chicago Tribune Mir Underwood of Alabama He has been playing among the minors. hu, he is of big league calibre'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

Now that Crane and Guggenheim are to take themselves out of the Senate. Lori mer rlay do likewise. It is respectable and e ,en fashionable thing to do, for the progrossves are coming.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

Not since George Washington crossed the Delaware and drove the Hessians out Of Trenton has New Jersey been so a-oused as 1t is today.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

Dr. Lyman Abbott stands ready to boom German beer but he hasn't good word for even Milwaukee beer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

Mir. Taft wants to know what great mistake was included in his adminstia- tion. There was only one. and that was made at Winona.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

An alternate juror makes the num- on all California juries IS. This will be unlucky for somebody each time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

Now and then a day goes by and Jim Hill fails to hand out choice lot of ad- vice. All subjects look alike to him when his advice mill is in running oraer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

Tn old line reactionaries are leaving Congress. It resembles the departure of rats from sinking or at least shifting ship.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

Today is New Jersey day and tomor- row will be kentucky's day, and then the choosing of delegates will be mat ter of fractions only
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

When Senator Crane drops into oblivion no one will know it. He never forgets to pussyfoot it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

Pethic Lawrence has been sent to jail. not because of his front name, but be- cause he urged suffragettes to smash win dows.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

Elihu Root is not a satisfactory key ncte sounder to the Rooseveltians.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

The English sparrow is at any rate better than a diet of crow. and the po- litlcal bosses should act accordingly.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

The first young lady of the land is, of course, the Presidents daughter. Any other selection belongs to the silly sea- sen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

pr. Wiley should not attempt to repro duce the remarks of his baby on the campaign issues.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

buy books. Many others go to the Car negie libraries.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

Mir. Taft will become a restful ex- President, it is thought
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

Let it be said in favor of Senator Crane that he did not try to pad the Congress sional Record.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

Cy Young goes back to the farm, and many fans wish him long and happy life.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

The Indiana poets would not agree 10 vote solidly for George Ade. and his name was withdrawn.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

Senator Crane is one of those who know when tc quit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28
ARTISTIC CREATIONS.

ARTISTIC CREATIONS. ITS Brownson interested In art?'' T guess so. He stares at every stylish who passes"
 A POOR WAY TO DO. Who loafs around
 Until too late, Is apt to lay
 The blame on fate. Then sadly climbs Upon the shelf, But never does
 Accuse himself Of having thrown Away a chance His life's affairs, Sooth, to advance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28
WELL STOCKED.

Poor old Glosteri He has great many troubles.'' You don't say!' Yes; he has to use card index system to keep track of them all"
 DOOMED TO FAIL. The man who signs,
 T haven't time."
 Will never rise
 To heights sublime'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28
SATISFIED.

That everything was going wrong He never would agree; Just said. "I guess this good old world Is good enough for me. 'rhe skies are fair and blue above,
 The birds sing, glad and free; This time O year this good old world Is good enough for me. 'I don't begrudge the Lady Rose
 To Mister Honey Bee; I simply say, This good old world
 Is good enough for mel! "
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

OF COURSE NOT ''Do you know Pillsforth?'' NO, Why do you ask?" He has an office in the same building with you.' What floor is he on?' ''The twenty I believe" 'Pshaw. I'm on the tenth floor. You don't think he's neighbor of mine. do you?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28
THE OLD PHILOSOPHER

THE OLD PHILOSOPHER. The years they are many. the years they
 are long. But host of beautiful fancies throng And ne finds more joy in a heart grown
 old Than many another. whose days of gold Still brighten the way of an untried life, And battles to be won in worldly strife; Who strains at the leash and would fain
 be gone Over the hills and on, on, on To the susnmits that call, to the goal
 of dreams, That pierces the gloom of the night with
 it's beams.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

THE TIRESOME sAvANT. We know chap with bulging brow Who dearly likes to wrangle; And every time he starts row We almost wish he'd strangle.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-28

SMALL CROP. se This year, he says He had poor luck; One beet was all His garden truck.
 PAUL COOK.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-08-16
LYNCH WINS TYPO CONTEST
Overwhelmingly Defeats Plan to Elect
 Board of Eighteen Directors.

Cleveland, O., Aug. 16-The progress sives in the International Typograph- ical Union convention proposed the election of a board of eighteen direc- tors to wield the power now intrusted to the executive council of three. President James M Lynch condemned the anti-administration as theorists of the organization. He declared that every so-called progressive measure that had yet been offered would. if adopted. mean $50,O00 to $60000 a year greater expense.
 You say have a machine" said Lynch. Well, may be I have. but If you want to see a smoothly running, well-oiled machine just attend the next convention of the American Fed eration of Labor and watch the work ings of it's executive board of eleven members That is what your eight een-mennber board of directors would be-"
 For fifteen minutes a demonstration for Lynch was kept up at the conclu- sion of his speech, and the convention then defeated the board plan over- whelmingfy.
 The Ladies' Auxiliary of the union Is awaiting the return of the books by Mrs Frank W. Long, secretary. and treasurer, who walked out of the con- vention, followed by a small coterie. because her choice for stemographer was not that of the auxiliary. A registered letter was sent to Mrs. Long denanding the return of the books and records The only ac- postman obtained. The auxiliary has consulted a lawyer and has advised the bank not to honor drafts made by Mrs. Long upon the funds.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-08-16
COP LOSES ROLL
REPORT THAT MEMBER OF PRIZE POLICE SQUAD MISSED S9O AND WALLET IN
 CLEVELAND.

New Haven, Aug. 16-Although the story has been kept under cover ever since their return to this city some five days ago, it has just leaked out that roll of 80 was sotlen from one of the members of the prize police squad which was sent from the local ;aerie of Eagles to the Cleveland con yention last week. Any attempt to discover the details of the rumor from any one of the squad was frustrated immediately and each policeman said [" 6"Nothing doing. But the story goes that the robbery was pulled off while one of the party was absent from his room in the hotel in Cleveland where they were stopping.
 t When this police officer discovered his loss he thought he had misplaced his wallet, and so entreated his, fellow officers to assist him in searching through the rooms The examination of every article in the, rooms occupied by the squad was conducted carefully but they were unable to find the roll of bills.
 It was further stated that the officer personally requested that the matter would not be reported to the hotel de- tectives, but kept as quiet as possible. The Eagles will hold a meeting in a few days. and it is stated by several officers that something will come up at that time that will be an eye opener, but just what that is, they will not divulge.
 This is the second time a member of the police force has been the victim ot big loss within the last month, lhe other person being Sergt- William G. Doherty, who lost his $500 watch and fob presented him by the Eagles a short time ago.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-08-16
Anril ln Western Europe.

April is one of the driest months in the whole year in England. Tn the southeast of England, including Lon don and it's surrounding counties, the average April rainfall is only 1.64 inch. That of March, reputed the driest month, Is 1.46, while Mays rainfall is nearly quarter of an inch in excess of Aprfl's. Not only is April dry but also very cold month. April 10th to 10th is notoriuusiy cold period.
 All over the western part of Europe April is a month which is justly dread ed for its severity. Even in Spain this is the case. In central Spain there is an old story that shepherd promised March lamb if be would temper the winds to suit his docks. March did so, but the faithIess shepherd failed to keep his promise. Tn revenge March borrowed three days from April, which were worse weather than any experienced in March.-London An swers.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-08-16
 DRIVEN OUT IN
 TERRIFIC FIGHT

London, Aug 16-Three hundred strikebreaking dockworkersi were driven from the Tilbury Docks today after a terrific fight with strike sym pathizers in which dozens were injur- ed To save the vanquished non-un- ionists' lives they were tumbled helter skelner aboard a train which happen ed, fortunately. to be waiting with steam up at T1ibury Station, and rushed to London.
 The docks at Tilbury, on the west bank of the Thames, just opposite Gravesend, are among the largest in the world and special efforts have been made by the employers to pre- vent work on them being interfered with by the strike.
 The strikers gathered so quickly that police endorsements could not be rushed to the scene fast enough, and by the time they arrived the fight, waged with clubs, stones and knuckieS, was over
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-08-16
'NERVY CHAUFFEUR AVERTS
 IMPENDING CATASTROPHE
Howard Polly Sticks to His Wheel While Automobile Backs Down Hill 40 Miles An Hour,
STAMFORD
Special to The Farmer.)

S6Q6C1di to Iul6 FdLI10T.J
 Stratford, Aug. 16-Howard Polly. driver of the automobile truck owned by H. c. Lowell & O., hardware mer- chants, yesterday by sheer pluck ana coolnees averted a disaster and pre- age to the machine. With a load or plum bing supplies and six men on the truck he was on his way up the Der by road when he struck a steep hll above Pine Rock Park, in the town of Huntington. The truck negotiated the hill all right until almost to the summit when something went wrong with the engine and the car began to back down the hill. The brake re- fused to work and. the machine gath cred headway in a, few seconds Polly instantly realized the danger and shoutedj to the men on the truck to jump. All his passengers Jumped and reached the ground safely. Polly stuck to his post as tn emachine back ed down the grade, which Is very steep. At times the car reached a speed estimated by the men who got off at over 40 miles an hour Polly kept his head and also the machine in the road. With his hand on the wheel he watched the road and kept in the beaten track until near the bot tom, when he checked the speed or the truck by steering to the bank by the roadside.
 At the bottom he guided the truck into a. telegraph pole and stopped. A few minutes work restored the ma chinery to it's normal condition and the men again mounted the truck and the outfit proceeded to it's destina- tion. The only damage was broken tail board where the truck struck the pole The east side of the road on the hill is a. sheer declivity 9 feet in height and the machine would cer- tainly have gone over the cliff but for the nerve and skill of the driver. Polly received much praise for his work, last night when the facts be- came known at the Center.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-08-16
NEWTOWN

The many friends of Mrs. Samuel IN. Daniels were shocked and grieveo to learn of her quietly passing away Wednesday evening. Mrs Daniel had been in delicate health for about year, and it was known that she was not as well as usual, still her demise came unexpectedly. She was a Wo- man of retiring disposition, but pos sessed of large heart, and kindly feelings and a patient sufferer. Be- fore her marriage she was Caroline Ackley, daughter of the late Rev. Charles J. Ackley and Elizabeth Cor neiia Elting. Rev. MT. Ackley was well known in New Milford where for 70 years he was rector of St., Johns church. Besides her husband she leaves two daughters, Mrs. Frederic F. Mygatt of Plainf1eld. Ns J.. and Mrs. William $. Hawley of Hawley- Vllle. Funeral services will be held at the home on Saturday afternoon at l o'clock. The interment will be at the convenience of the family.
 Mrs. W1n. J. Driscoll has been cali ed to Seabright, N. J., on account of the illness of her brother. Rev. B. J. Egan.
 John Shannon, an aged and highly respected resident of Walnut Tree Hill passed away early Wednesday even ing. He leaves his wife and six chii- dren. Mrs. Patrick Kolar of Long 1LAlA, V1IS. J OQn MCOaTGny or SanQy Hook, John, Michael, Martin and Charles Shannon at home. MT. shan non belonged to the type of rugged honesty and was for years employed in the shop of the N. Y. Betting and Packing Co. The funeral was held today from St. Roses church.
 A pair of silver nose glasses were lost Thursday on Route 16. The owner will be glad for their return in any mail box or. have them left at the Newtown post office.
 Headquarters for the war maneuv- CTS locally are now established at the Newtown Inn. The officers tents are pitched on the ground in the rear. A wireless telegraph system is also in effect.
 Mrs. siIas Driggs and daughter. Miss Alice Driggs of Brooklyn, N. T., are guests of MT. and Mrs. William A. Leonard.
 Mrs. Owen Ryan of Bridgeport is the guest of her sister, Mrs. Owen Burns
 MT and Mrs. E. J. Murphy of Bridgeport have been guests of Mrs. M. c. Bradley.
 An important school meeting of Middle district will be held Tuesday evening, Aug. 20 at o'clock.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-08-16
FIREMEN'S CARNIVAL
 STARTS MONDAY NIGHT
WI1I Be Better and Bigger Than Ever New Fire Apparatus to Be Se-l
 cured With Proceeds.
} FAIRFIELD

Fsirdeld Aug. 16-The Firer1en ( carnival win start Monday. Aug. IS ard will continue for a week. Through present plans of the many committees kt would appear that the carnival will Ehe hfrwer than ever. There. iS no Feason to doubt but Shat the affair khoald be better than ever. Thas week the various members have pitch Ied dn and are now bringing about rear of the fire house and the Shar- man sdRpol The dance floor has been ronstTcfed and witf1iz. a day or two mhe sides to the grounds will be erect ed -4. The canvassing committee re- norss that they have met with very lib era4 response, from local and Bridge port merchants in the way of dcnA- Fiors- With the proceeds of former carnivals the firenen purchased the present auto chemical engine. Be- he~ang that the work of the auto chemical has been effective it is the such apapratuS.
 Miss Catherine KinSeifa. is now To- rated as cashier and bookkeeper al nhe C. A. Wyrtzen store, succeeding Miss Ella May Seery of Sasco Hill whe has gone on a hunting trip to Maine.
 hheADwight school is enjoying a DOT riont of her vacation at Northfleld Mass She is accompanied by her sis ter. Mary E. Wakeman.
 Seeley Jennings is suffering at his nno1ne from injuries sustained when Ehe fork of his bicycle snapped Throwing him to the roadway.
 Mrs Harry Edwards has as her guest, her sister, Miss Grace Wisner
 Harold Banks is stopping at the home of his aunt, Miss Elva Banks.
 There will be a meeting Of the members of the Greenfield Hill cluk next Monday evening. when commit tees will be appointed to arrange fol 4het bazaar at the club grounds Sept Il and 12.
 George Harris and family from Pal ener. Mass, have moved into the Oak ley house in Oxford place, Southport
 Many fishermen can be seen in 10. gal waters now fishing for harhol blues The fish are biting good al i ahe present tima but atie running ernSlI Many grabbing parties can be wssm around local inlets.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-08-16
The Riaht Kind of Aua4iar.

There is good story concerning a certain trip of inspection when Louis Hin and party of officials were talk Ing peek at the station agents some where along the line in Minnesota. At a station we may call Oscarville an agert, perhaps forewarned, was ob- served frantica1Iy moving trucks and cleaning up.
 There's a hustler for you,'' said one of the party.
 "Humph,' said Hill.
 At another station the agent met them snilingly, smoking good cigar and clad in his best clothes. He was frankly idling, yet nothing was askew.
 well, what do you think of thatY' commented ons of HilTs friends. 'sThere's an agent who has time to loaf"
 "Humph," said Hill.
 A month later the ''loafer'' was pro- noted.
 'Tf man can get the work done without doing it himself he's the man for me-" was the explanation of the railroad president. Metropolitan Mag. mZinA.