The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-09-04

friends at Prairie Pond, Fla, VIII,
: ray find themselves in the metrop
oils, | will warn them that in a higl
class Broadway restaurant they vii
miss many of the comforts OF tn,
Cosmopolitan cafe, which they are in
the habit of patronizing. For in
stance. at Rector's it is not consid.
cred de rigeur to take off ones coat
and roll up ones sleeves preparatory
to the proper enjoyment of meal
Neither should they ask to be served
a regular dinner. 81 cents" Just
keep your shirtand coat on. and await
Developments. You will be greatly
disappointed at there being no food
in sight, but this sensation will soon
give way to dismay at the array OF
strange implements which are placed
be fore you. There will be several
different patterns Of forks, instead OF
the one old reliable. with the bone
handle, slightly ycllowcd, which
served your every purpose al tn"
cosmopolitan. Likewise there will
b. a profusicn OF spoons. besides
knives, and other unclassiiied instri-
ments, which make you wonder If
! the contents of surgeons Kit has
been laid out before you Then Their"
will be SO many dishes and other ar
ticles of yirtu and bric-a-brac that
you fear the waiter has made mis-
take, and that he expects the various
members of your family to come in
presently and dine with you. Your
spcculatiOns are cut short by the
waiter poking menu card under
your nose. Here's where your trou-
blcs reach an acute stage. Under the
superciliOus stare Of the superior
waiter. you grow hot and cold by
turns, and the lines of the menu card
run together in an indistinct blur.
You finally blurt out that YOU will
take some "ronsOmmy soup, and are
about to add that You will also have
some ice cream to start with these
two items being at he top and bot
tom of the card, and therefore stand
ing ont the most plainly in your
blurred vision but the waiter is
gone. Presently he returns with an
intinitcsimal portion of liquid, which
he transfers to the vessel placed be-
fore you with the SOlcmnity of pre-
pairing the sacrament. You tackle
this with the nearest implement at
hand, which happens to be an olive
spoon, and labOriOusly dispose of il,
Il few drops at a time Again You are
confronted with the problem OF what
to order, and by dint OF haughtily
dropped suggestions from the waiter.
which YOU eagerly adopt, YOU finally
arrive at an understanding with that
individual, by which you are To have
such food as hc hlS chosen for YOU.
After that, periodically there appears
amid the elittcring ,''hara of plate |
and ware. Il tiny Oh IS OF food. |
ever and anon Is the Il.
laEt waiter At the las, he will So,
before yOn bowl containing u color
les, liquid You are not To drink
this, and il you take my advice YOU
wi. pass il up altogether. IT You
desire. however, to convince the wait
er that finger bowls are part of your
everyday existence. sail in. but do
not allow your enthusiasm To carry
'Ou to the extent OF washing your
ace. The waiter will then give you
slip Of paper bearing figures which
'ou suppose is the street number Of
he establishment hut which YOU
lhally understand is the amount YOU
ire mulcted for your neal. You may
eel like protesting Don't do il: you
", II only make a scene. and they Il
not like SCENES in New York. II
hey want scenery. they take a look
II tic palisades OF the Hudson. or
20 over Ia ton.y Island and take a
tide on the scenic railway. There's
nothing for you to do hut Ia come
lcross. and tell the waiter Ia keep
he change lie will do >n. hut with
manner that makes ,ou feel your
olive Offering 10 his greatness pitt
bly, small and inadequate
Two oi the most striking features
, New Works aspect arr additions
the past few years. and one mary
ls now as 10 how the great mctrop-
lis would look without them. The
and the electric street
gn have rc,ofutionized the appear
nee OF the principal streets. One
'arceiy realizes 10 what a trcmen-
,us extent the automobile has en- :
red into the business and social "