davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13
WHY THUNDER souRs MILK.
PURIFYING Gases are Liberated and
Decomposition is Accelerated.

TVf1f - - HVV ~ "
1t is universally known that milk turns
sour after Il thunder storm. This has
been attributed TO the large quantity OF
ozone which is liberated by the electricity
in the air. The experiments of Professor
Trillat in Paris do not confirm that theory.
He has established that atmospheric de-
pressions cause putrefying g~ases-normal-
ly quiescent-to rise to the surface Of
certain substances. and in support of his
theory points out that odors of all sorts
are more permeating after storms. These
atmospheric depressions accelerate the de-
composition of gases and tend to liberate
them. Hence Tactic ferlnent is produced.
ments with diverse substances under
varying pressures and has observed that
when the barometer is lowest during
storms. etc.). the decomposition of gases
is most rapid.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13

feather, which Ia attached to a long
ftshpole. A mule VAS no sense of hu-
NOR to speak OF and MIR. Langworthy.
being a keen funal naturalist, realized
this. When he tickles the mule the
latter does not laugh or smile. He
kicks. and the more Mr.. I.angworthy
tickles him the more he kicks. He
can kick for several hoars without
stopping and all the time the Invention
which Is fastened to his hind leg. is
working the farm machinery. Mr..
L~anSworthy works al! Uf his farm MAJ
chintry in this manner and has cleo
trio or water power beaten To a Roose-
veltian fraZzl..
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13
A VERSATILE MAN.


h cheerful agent stepped into tho
business mans private office and set
his grip on the floor.
II have here" said he. "a patent
glass cutter for 25 cents. 1t is known
AS"
Don't need any glass CUTTER
snapped this business man.
"Ah. you don't need a glass cutter.
Well, then, have here a vacuum
cleaner that sells for $500. 1t is now
in use in thousands of homes. 1t is-
II don't need a vacuum cleaner"
Well, perhaps not, but then / have
something else here that will certainly
interest you. 1t is a photograph that
retal!s for the small sum of $11.OV.
There isn't another photograph in the
world that"
Il Wouldn't buy a photograph on a
bet. growled the business man. getting
red in the face.
have here a panorama camera which
sells for SGT. 1t will take the widest
scope
mo camera today" yelled the BUSH
ness man.
well, then, l have a s42s
which combines all of the necessary
points of the higher priced machines
and"
For the love OF Mike" screamed
the business mar I'll AXE a glass
cutter. Here's your quarter. Now
get out"
Thank you" said the agent. THAT'S
all I had to sell in the first place"
THE GROCERY STORE PHIL
OSOPHER.
l v see a feller that had much
git up and git"
Who'd go down to the gruc-ry store
six days a week and sit
Around the place the whole day long.
just so he could crate
Upon existing evils and the grave
affairs of state.
He solves financial problems and he
peddles out advice,
But borrows his tobacker. cause he
never has the price.
He's got a way of tellin' what u
statesmen ought to do.
He understands most every situa-
ton through and through.
He knows abOu the tariff and dis
cusses 1t all day.
When diplomats are in distress he
points the saving way.
He tells us how they should put down
that war in Mexico,
But when his wife gifts after him.
you Orter seq him &c.
He got the European situation right
NOWu pdt,
lie tells us where the furrin' prin-
cipalities are at.
He knows just 10 - solve each Sc
rious problem of the hour
And tells exactly what il wrong with
every furrin' power.
He understands big business of tho
Pierpont Morgan kid.
But when he's tradia' hcsses any
DOL kin skin him ass..sS.
He scatters very sage a6sicc TO young
men OF the town,
And tells them how they should go
forth to win wealth and senown.
He knows of more ge~t-rich-oufck
schemes than Rufus Wallihgford.
His mighty business brain would
soon put John d. by the board.
He has both DUN and Bradstreet faded.
or 30 It appears,
But still his wife has had to take
plain SEWN twenty years.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13
A Diana Of the Air

The beautiful and athletic Eleanora
Sears: at a luncheon at Sherry's. aid
OF aviation:
I like the biplane we'll enough. and
the m~onoplane I am simply mead over
heels in love with.''
To this remark one of Miss Sears
many unsuccessfui suitors answered re-
p~rOachfully:.
"Ah. another ease of mar being sup.
planted by machinery"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13

One OF The recent want ads
FEMALE WOMAN WANTS
10 DO JANITOk WORK.
ANSWERS.

NinbItI0us-YUu ask nov 10 he a
nero. Take your wife to a lecture on
~ihc trend of the modern drama" Civ
Ell by some old maid who has never
.seH anything hut s2inglins's circus and
'Eas Lynne"
Your whe, re can he cured by
AHIputattOu. Cut out tlc bnOXe.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13
out in front of I%1iliker'. gruc'ry on

out IN front OF Eilliker's gruc'ry on
a sOap box.
Abe Hicks says he ain't daffy about
havin prosperity. 1t makes him work
too hard
Every time his wife's relatives want
to tax "A ride. there is 'suthin the
meter With Anse Frisby's oatmobile.
Luke Tibbitts Is stuck on his job. He
works In "a fly ape factory.
Amy a who does business with "A
SINISTER lawyer. ought to get the worst
of ii and he generally does.
II they can't find anything else for
h Digger Indians to do why not set
them to work on the Panama canalN".
There have been a great many in
ventoTs in this world. but the Teller
who invented compound interest
wasn't So slow.
Kickin on the street car service is
the oldest form of amusement in this
country.
When " mar starts to goin down
hill there are plenty of friends ready
To help him along.
A Teller who has got the gift OF CAB
gen ally lands somewhere even il it is
only in jail.
The trouble in this country at the
present time seems to be that the dim
ncr pals are too large.
some Of the poetry a young Teller
writes to his gal certainly sounds fine
and dandy when she pulls it on him
ten years after they are married.
The man Who used to have d barn
mas put "A gasoline can behind il and
called it Il garage.
There is II thing that no man ever
made 81 success of. and hat is the
drink habit
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13

WHAT WE WOULD DO.
New York paper asks: What
v""id yon do II you had 81. OOO. 900. like
.ie Asfcr Kid iias?" We know what
"e would do. We would do one of
tile following things, and then be
scaHy {" 20 the %poorhouse:
tsn5 "a rcal pOrterhouse steak.
Take two days Off.
hire n taxicab and ride for three
Or four hours.
Tip "A parlor car porter as much as
he expects. just once.
Annex a fur trimmed overcoat.
nuy q ralabasl, pipe.
Week. %
stop at the Hotel Astor one DAY.
Yet enough genuine mushrooms for
onr meal.
have three shirts instead OF two and
par ~ s~uspcnders for each pair of
trousers.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13
CHEER UP.

I'm not afraid of hoodooes,
That's very plain TO see,
] was porn on a Friday,
The 18th. Yep. that's me.
] walk right under ladders.
l spill salt at my will.
I've also smashed a mirror
And I'm around here still.
Around my chair ! amble
The wrong way every time.
When l am playing poker.
l have contempt sublime
For people superstitiOus.
l never knock on wood.
| never pick up q horseshoe.
And don't see why l should.
l don't believe in bad luck.
1t is a foolish thing.
Whatever you imagine
That's what your fate will bring.
There's no use looking forward
10 sorrow you'll allow.
If Troubles going to get you
Twill get you anyhow.
AMBITION.
When he made just three plunks a
week.
He thought If he made five
He'd surely be the happiest
Young business man alive.
He finally got five q week.
But wasn't happy then.
He never would be satisfied
Until he pulled down ten.
When he got ten a week he thought
His compensation mean.
He knew he'd reach his hearts desire
Ii he could get fifteen.
He got his fifteen. then he knew
a person could not thrive
In this expansive day and age
On less h a twenty-five.
He finally got twenty-five,
The sum he'd thought so nifty.
But found he couldn't be content
And live on less than fifty.
He got his fifty one fine day
And then he found out that
He never could be happy quite
Without one hundred fiat.
He made some wise deals after hat
And gathered in a million.
But was he happy? No, indeed.
He had to nave a billion.
And it is safe to say that II
He really got his billion.
Old & would find him lighting to
Accumulate a trillion.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13

Copyright, 1911. by North American Pres.
6ynd.cate.)
FRIENDS.
had a friend.
loaned him ten.
haven't seen
MY friend since then.
Another friend.
He borrowed five,
doubt II he
is still alive.
Fog me more friend
signed Il note.
Etc disappeared.
wa. the goat.
I'm not Convinced
That. in the end,
A feIi~r liz
His "wn best friend.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13
PROM THE MICKEYNn.LE CLAIR
ION


FROM THE HICEEYvlLLE Guar
ION.
HEY. HAMS Is pnssin' around n sub
scrirtfon lis, to put n .cw stecple on
sue nseettn hut!sc. Arson i'risnv. nu-
!Wesi-knOWn banker and philartironist,
headed the lixt with IL cent?, and
Others are putti:i' down amounts au-
cording t. their means iirN. thanks
Expects to put II windmill ON top OF
thS new steeple to furnish rower To
pump the organ, which VIII save tine
~aEeS 81 Old Mar Purdv whu gets
Two Siilllin' Il Sunday fur rumliuf
fiatk Ttntllx says on still 0ays t!is
preacher kin furnish, the wind iov To
MAKE the windmill go. E4nN Is Il
.acreslgi0us galnct and wncnNticy afe
Htakln. ny a EoN to send to the Eeatlsen
OF africa lac donated IN old .,uursiin
6vcfcOat and !. sccond-.lanl ~soaastene
Q warmer. He was ciitia ised quite
seSefc Tor sending such articles IL tie
people ~ such Il hot ciirsats, hut Hunk
ZaiN ne v cav Il liestiicn Nct that
asdnft have cold feet.
isod Peters went to sleep the otl,es
1iGns smoking his plue and soon the
ued clothes was all afiie. The slafpes
Spread quite rapidly. Hod Jumped
ont the wfnder hut the tail Of his ont.
!ne flannel ntghtgown ca,:ght fire IL
re had to run like al! sit ont tn keep
encad Of the angry flames. He ran
over to Deacon Stubhis house to sum
mon assistance and then he run down
% the engine house to ring the alarm
set the fire engine house on fire.
ne didn't dast tn lingcr long in II
ON" place because the flames was
maxim Roadway up his hack. He ran
town TO Tibbitts' store thinking he
SOd'n oMy. 4 pair OF overalla there and
Nc SET T1bbitts' store on fire. He rot
the OsetalIS and run down to Swa.ey
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13
HEP PARENTS

sa~r parents arc behind the times.
ni.@ MIL admit II with Il shrug.
Iney nye back numbers plan to see
Iney do not dance the bunny hug.
1he calls them fossils. yes She does,
rne only parents she has got.
snscHiise they don't get busy and
Aearn how to dance the turkey ,rot.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13
LIFE'S LITTLE N

LIES LITTLE 1RONIES.
Asking a friend to 90 to vaudeville
on Thursday evening when she has al
ready been invited to go to grand
opera"
Buying an absolutely original we'd
ding present In shape of a fireless cook
er n finding that ~ other persons
have done the same thing"
Handing u parlor car porter a tip
of 10 cents and then seeing him go by
In his own automobile next day."
Getting an invitation out to dinner
when your dress shirt is at the laun-
dry"
Being invited to make q banquet
speech and finding that the speakers
preceding you have used up all of your
jokes"
Mr.. LANGWORTHY,S INVENTION.
Mr.. Leonidas Langworthy. the prom
fnent and eflcient disciple of Thomas
Edison. who lives near Hickeyville, has
Invented q scheme which will save him
. lot OF worry and work. BY the way.
work Is n Of the best things that
MI. Langworthy saves. He has invent
ed Q contraptton which he bitches to
h hind leg Of his mule when the latter
10 looking out of the window and adj
mirtnE the scenery n II not taking
more than q cursory interest In what IL
going on about his own person. This
state of mind does moi happen often to
nj. IAngworthy's mule or. In fact. any
other mule. md Nj. Langworthy II
Obliged to wait sometimes several days
before he can hook the contraption to
h mules hind leg. This 10 one of
the chief drawbacks Of the invention.
Having fastened the invention to the
mules hind lee. Mr.. Laneworthy sits
atar on n tickles he mule with Z
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13

Americans are buying much more
champagne and gloves this year than
last.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13
W DIDN'T WORK

II have been Investigating the uues-
ton of equal suffrage. Maria" said Mr..
Piety Hill. AS he was about to finish
his dinner. and 1 find that l am heart
ily in favor of it. l am glad that you
nave taken up that work and l ann go
ing I" help you. Ii you want any
money. call on lme. Perhaps 1 might
even undertake. to make "a few speeches
on the subject"
is that so??' remarked Mrs. Piety
filii susplclously You are very kind"
II have noticed that your limousine
needs some new uphoistering. Please
send ~ to the shop at once. think
you should have one VI two new party
gowns, too"
So" inquired Mrs. Hill politely.
Yes, n that young man who is
Your choice for our daughter. You know
! have always opposed that match. but
\ nave decided to let YOU have your
own way. Invite the young gentleman
up to dinner and | will give them my
blessing"
is hat possib!ec:" replied Mrs. Hill
shortly.
Yes. and think y trip to Florida
Will dc You a good deal OF good. /
am willing to take "a suite at one of the
hotels for a month his winter If you
care To occupy it,"
Say" asked Mrs. Hill. do YOU
think you are going to put anything
over by that kind of talk What's
your game? You don't talk like YOUR
self at all. Are you sick or have YOU
got something up Your slceve?"
We'll. I'll tell you. Maria. since you
have guessed it. l was intending to
spend the evening down town with a
couple of business friends of mine from
New York and"
NOT on your zinc etching, husband.
You are going With me to u lecture on
equal suffrage. You are so greatly i'm
terested in the subject that it would be
a shame for you to miss it. I'll be ready
in 10 minutes"
And he went with her.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-13
WE AIM TO PLEASE.

We are in receipt of IL pale note from
Il pink lady. or. rather. II pink note from
Il pale lady, asking us for suggestions
as regards wedding gifts. All of the
presents are so st%ereotyped that she
needs suggestions as to something nov
ell. Here are a few suggestions for
wedding presents:
Pair of crutches.
Rubber tired baby cab.
One pound of real butter.
One dozen corr plaslers.
Cork leg.
Crosscut saw.
Slide trombone.
Set of false teeth.
Neckyoke.
Compass.
Wheel chair.
The Fargo forum and daily republican., 1912-12-30
CHRIS PERSON
AND ANDERSON
THE BIG ATHLETIC ENTERTAIN
MENT AT Prizes HALL WILL be-
GIN THIS EVENING AT S:30 AND
WILL START OFF WITH RATTLING
SIX-ROUND BOXING BOUTS.

Manager Heffner of the Fargo Ath-
letic club which has the brig athletic
entertainment at the Pirie hall this
evening, states that the fans will not
starting, for the first preliminary will
be in the ring at 9 o'clock sharp,
whether there is an audience or not.
He believes that the fans of Fargo and
the show starts early and gets through
before midnight and he will start right
at the hour of 8.
Those who attended the last wrest-
ling contest, when Person was on, will
remember that it was all over before
1880 and the same will be the case to-
night.
Anderson arrived in the city Satur-
day from Lowell, Mass, and it looking
fit and in great shape, and he says that
he is sure to win the bout this even
ing with Person. Whoever wins this
bout will have the distinction of meet
ing Westergard here about Jan. 10,
at a date yet to be announced, and
while the latter will be handicap at
fair it will give the man a big boost
in the game.
Person, who resides in Fargo, is al
ways In condition, but he is in better
shape than he ever was before, for
he realizes the. great advantages he
will have by beating Anderson decisive
ly this evening. You can rely on one
thing" said the big fellow to the sport
Anderson just as sure as / am standing
before you this minute. / know / can
do it, but not without some trouble. 1
want the chance to go against West
ergard and I mean to have it by win
ming the match tonight.
There will be two great preliminaries
this evening. The first will start at 8
and either McPhait or Spike" Adams
will appear, and one or the other will
go against a good man in the semi
windup. They are two good local men
and ought to make a great showing.
BY the way, young McPhail is soon to
go to the twin cities to be under the
tutelage of his cousins, Mike Gibbons
and his younger brother. Mac" is a
conner and no mistake and the first and
only time he appeared in the ring here
he gave a good account of himself
The we'll known ability of Spike"
need not be commented on, as he al
ways goes in for business right from
the word go. It will be big show and
the house should be crowded,
The Fargo forum and daily republican., 1912-12-30
BEACH MAKES A REPLY
Has Something to Say About the
Statement of Oscar "Cyelone"
keIIy's Article. .-. 80.

Jack Beach, who is to meet Leo
kossick in this city in the near future,
takes offense to the statement that
was made by Oscar Kelly in The
Forum of last Saturday and says in
a letter:
Il noted in your paper OF last Sat-
urday a letter from Oscar Kelly want
ing to meet the winner of any bout
that might take place between myself
and Leo Kossick and he also has few
things to say about me, which I want
to answer. He states that he put me
out in four rounds in Minneapolis be-
fore the Owls club last year. / don't
know who, Oscar Kelly is, but the last
time l met Cyclone Kelly before the
end Of the fifth round on account Of
being fouled. In every round the only
part of me he could hit was below the
belt and the only punches / got were
three. He would not have lasted two
rounds If had not been injured in the
first round and he kept up the dirty
work. The referee would not disquali-
fy him as the crowd wanted it to go
the limit He fights on the defensive
all the time and the only way to get
him out of his tracks or to uncover is
to knock him out. If l should beat
KoSsick I would be only to glad to
meet him but it would be V Try dis
interesting fight. I don't know who
Oscar is, unless it is the Minneapolis
Jew, Cyclone Kelly who has to take
an Irish name to get up enough cour-
thing, I think Kelly is doing little
knocking or he would not expose a
club that has to have fights on the
quiet"
FOR STATE NEws--THE FORUM.
The Fargo forum and daily republican., 1912-12-30
CHAMP.
ARRIVED in U. S.

Chicago, Dec. SO-Henry Irslinger,
Europe's middleweight champion
wrestler, has arrived in America and
will seek matches with the best men
pond. He was in the United States
several years ago and remained un-
defeated. All efforts to match 1rs-
linger with Kartye or Willoughby
however, proved of no avail as no clubs
offered suitable purses for matches Of
this high class at that time.
Since Irslinger's departure from
America, the cause of the smaller
wrestlers has been espoused by the
Chicago Athletic association and the
game of the middleweights has taken
big boost. 1rslinger will have little
difficulty securing match with the
winner of the G. A. A. championship,
who will hold the American title, If
he is on the level. The winner of this
match will hold the worlds champion
ship.
Irslinger is holder of five belts, in
cluding the worlds championship and
Lord Lonsdale diamond belt. He is
known in Europe as the king of all
wrestlers' and the Frank Gotch' of
his class. Three years ago he made
successful tour through the states,
Canada and Mexico, and lost not one
fall to anyone. He won his title in
1908 in Henkler's circus at the big
international tournament in London,
including many American stars Sam
Anderson of Boston lost two falls to
none to Irslinger in the semi-finals.
The next big tournament at the London
Alhambra was won again by Henry,
and also the last, on Nov. IA, in Rams
gate, England.
The light heavyweight tournament of
Europe was also captured by him. Irs-
linger has also the distinction to be a
straight and fair wrestler, always on
The Fargo forum and daily republican., 1912-12-30

punishment and when he faces Nc
Carly he probably will emulate JEFF
fries when he fought Corbett and Fitz-
simmons. Round after round the eX-
numerically, but his rugged physique
enabled him to withstand the punching
until his opponents weakened. Then
Jenries waded in and stopped them.
Palzer>Nmay do the same thing. He
route yet, and 1t Is more than possible
his blows will have telling effect on
McCarty about the fifteenth round, IL
the contest continues that long. If
McCarty weakens by that time the
chances are more than bright that Pal
ger will stop him before the final gong
is sounded. If McCarty's strength lasts
beyond the fifteenth session he will be
favored, for he is faster than Palzer
and had a wider knowledge of the
game. He will be handicapped in
putting into execution his skill, as Pal
zer'S reach is five and one-half inches
longer, and that makes difference
when the opposing boxer is not bur-
dened with science. McCarty, although
confident he will whip Palzer, probably
Will find that the task is not so simple
as he, thought,
lowing the fight fans to come to his
camp and pass Judgment, on him. He
does not care to sing his own praise.
HIS move, apparently, is the correct
have watched both men and have Sc
lected Palzer to win. They are making
him q slight favorite, They believe
it will take a sledge-hammer blow to
there, but the fans have not enthused
so much over him, as he has not dis
played the aggressiveness and deter-
mtnation to battle. They say the reason
he trimmed Flynn was because the
latter carried the fight to him at all
The Fargo forum and daily republican., 1912-12-30
Duluth Cash Close.
Duluth Fax.
Local QuOta lions.
BroOmhnII's Report.

Total worlds shipments of bread
stuffs last week 7,768,O0O bushels, pre-
vious week 1O,4SO,O0O bushels, last year
lO,128.O00 bushels; corn last week, S.
033,000, previous week 1851, 900, last
year 3,4S5, 900 bushels
LiverpoOl-Wheat-T easier Amer
lean cables on Saturday were offset
here by light worlds shipments and
the comparatively small amount to the
United Kingdom and prices were un-
changed to 4 higher. Following the
opening tnere was a further advance
of Is to 4 on the improved demand
for Canadian, better continental in
duiry. The advance, however, was
checked by the favorable advices from
Argentine, larger Argentine offers Of
new crop at advance weight and the
increased stocks in the United States.
At 1880 p. m. the market was duh
and steady with prices 4 higher than
the plate grade continued unchanged.
BrOOmhaIl.