Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-09-16
MOTORING BOWLING
FISHING BOtTiHn
LIVE
TIPS
By BOSCO

Watch for his picture!"
"Whose?"
"Spodinis!"
The gentleman worked overtime
yesterday so his contributions are
rather lengthy today. In fact, Old
Spod. is making such a hit that
people are writing letters to me
about him. 1 may publish one later.
Gadzooksl They've caught "Gypie
the Bleed" and Left Hand Louie!"
And in Brooklyn. l always thought
anyone could hide there very easily.
| get lost every time l go to that
burg. The funny part of the thing
is that the pair of "gun-men" were
credited with being in almost every
place in the United States during the
past two months except Perth AM
boy. / wonder how we escaped.
Better thank the local correspond
ents to the New York newspapers.
4 II
Hurrah, we're going to get an
automobile police patrol. l wonder
whose family will have the use of
it for "joy rides" on Sundays.
y y
Lyon heads the county ticket of
the Bull Moose" Animals are noted
for being feet of foot so the candi-
date ought to make a good run. Too
bad there isn't a Mr.. Wolf and a Mr..
Fox on the ballot to make it a regu-
lar animal ticket"
Young man who had an engage-
ment with a young lady last night
was one-half hour late in keeping
his appointment, due to the efforts
of two practical jokers. The latter
took the young man for an automo-
bile ride, promising to drop him off
at the young lady's residence. In
stead, however, they held him in the
car and drove to the Alpine m
terry, where the young man was re-
leased. He arrived at the young
lady's home thirty minutes later
after a DELIGHTFUL walk during
which lie said numerous THINGS.
Later in the evening the young man
received a telegram at the young
lady's home. When he read it he
placed it in his pocket. Young lady
wanted to see it but young man re-
fused, stating that it was only a bust
ness "wire." Young lady insisted
and finally managed to take it out of
young mans pocket. This is what
she read:
Everything o. K. for tomorrow
night in New York.
ELSIE"
Whereupon the young lady said
GOOD NIGHT to the young man.
SEQUEL-The jokers sent the tele-
gram. Young man is looking for
them today with a blackjack and a
cannon.
Bits Ambitions.
An introduction and description
of Bill will be necessary before de-
failing my story, in order that you
will not get him confused with the
numerous other individuals oNseNke
name in this community. , He =:
about five feet four inches tall, a
handsome and digniied head set
upon a pair of small but manly
shoulders, dark hair and large eyes of
similar hue. Sometimes it would
seem, owing to his lacking stature,
that his heels are playing tag with
the back Of his neck. Bills chief
troubles are taking care of his
money and selling liability insur-
ance, being a failure at the former
while a marvellous success at the
latter. He sits in his office on Smith
street all day long and ponders i've
his inability to so to Dover via the
Matrimonial Route; but cheer up,
William, the Love Line will take you
there, and in such you will find con-
ISOLATION while awaiting the compile
ton of the Railroad of Matrimony.
Strange that he should think it
necessary to marry in Dover. Why
not Perth Amboy? l think that he
is the Guy that put the bee in the
beach at Bayards, where he and
Captain Buck are carrying on a
large retail candy and cigar business,
as | have often heard his girl call
him Honey"
sPODINIs.
The Angry Mob.
Twas far away | heard the tramp
OF marching feet advancing,
To fall upon the innocent SOU
That had set their anger dancing.
Nearer and nearer sounds the tread,
Bill Olesen in the lead,
The protests of the brainier ones,
They would not seem to heed.
"Bull" had his fists ready and
cIinched,
Brock had procured a gun,
Luke Oliver followed Franks ex-
ample,
While "Fitzie" prepared to run.
sport carried a shillelah,
Buck" Compton a pet rifle,
For with this modern Butt-in,
They did not mean to trif1e.
"Scutie' had concocted,
A solution from some I've,
To make the disturber suffer,
And later on, to die.
"Shorty's" weapon was a baseball
bat,
Ed. Anderson's a ~tomakauk,
They shouted q warning to the
crowd,