The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1912-12-11

There were suppressed e1clamation$
! Of yum, yum!" among the old vet
Grams in the audience. but they also
shook their heads in puzzled way and
whispered to each other that Mr.. John
son was too deep for them.
"A few evenin's ago." said the or-
| ator as be got better hold on the
platform with his toes. II sot in my
study thinkin' things ober. Not a
mouse stirred Not dawg under de
bed sighed. De world slept OF sud
den | had q feelin' at l was beln'
taken out Of dis sphere an transport
| ed into anothc-. 1t was a slumberous
pleasant feelin'. an gave up to it.
'After an hour had passed awoke.
I was out in de kitchin takin' or my
muddy shoes A bag lay at my feet.
an lifted it an emptied its contents
on de floor. Oar was four fat hens. |
can't be sure just what took place
when l WAS III de state spoken of. but
it's my belief dat | went up de alley
four blocks an climbed ober q fence
an broke open a Eencoop.
On Getting Married.
"Of course had de ole woman make
q potpie Of dc chickens. But will some
Of you tell NE how the whyness OF de
whenceness come about? Had po-
liceman found Ele with dat bag on my
shoulder should I have been held !e-
gally Responsible"
The consensus Of opinion seemed to
be that he shouldn't, and when the
orator was satisfied Of this he went on:
What am lub? You pass ten thou
sand women an glib none o 'em Sec
end look. You don't care whether dey
am cd OF young, good lookin' OF home
~. All Of a sudden you meet your
fate. You como face to face wild a wo-
man who eibs you 4 look an smile.
an q crewbar seems to 1ab you to ae
heart You foller her. You ind out
who she an. You call an tell her Dat
you cant 1--we without her. In q week
Or 50 you are uari1ed. an you and she
has seben hpsderd dollahs In de say
ms bank. What about dc Whenceaess
Of Do what1sas7 Why diA you do 1t?
Why don't yos st Z freight trsi2 an
bsat your way ee de New Orleans
races instead?
"You an sttna' on De fsaee af q
summers nawala'. Jest a yea haTe
got q taousanA dmex befo. You aFa
wishin' your ticket In de lottery would
strike q prize Of mHlyoa dollahs. Jess
40 you have wished ten thousand times
befo'. Do four an dc 'tatezs an ba.
con am out, an de ole woman needs
shoes You am wonderin' II It hurts
70 eat nun possum to kill you when
3 lightnin' rod man drives up an Oilers
you a JOB at hunderd q month an
pays you fifty In advance
"N'ho or what sent dat man dsre?
Why didn't he take another road?
Why did his wagon break down bef0
1t got to you? Why wasn't you In ds
back yard jawil' wid do ole wonan3
We kin all see de whEness OF Dc
riea~aness But what snstle power
hrnsg it abuat2
Hea Study.
&c, ass rair," cuuiilue3 the orator
:@''," :-n'..~cn'1s lis Ens With two
.,:a,.;c.s q viGe: from tho pitcher. 4
vs, IL jail in ny uaEiGe state. Was
In &c yooas ssa;yin' de habits OF %
razorha ckea haws when s c+.ast'h'e
coms along an satheesd me Ia /
vas sent to tail ~ t::;::l::T 5aTs. 1t
,as ".:,:::.;- e. =. ~'.-. g.: ',:.0:g
30 lux Gn' 80 iasI Cat ut tiOvpeo 0ssta'
After I hAa spent ten feJH Il jail. occ
night When WAS Eitt,n' an tttnkfn'
Of &c musyons an DnEoas Of mea
who hid turned TO dust. a To:cs Wais-
pered in my ear, Try de winder:!
"Dar was 'l,h"->, 1T re IN dc JAIL
10 vu:>s cui.:,: ..,;"e coE.e Sro'a ne
,....,' .... -. l;1i - &
win6er u1*saat Of de Gra;:? x >.
saSuld try Anything? did. i'Hes'2@.
| u-l'zcji G!;er az :. - j. l.;'N "t &c
winoer an found 'em ioose. an ten
r,ir,,:t.S :;:;," ": e,.~. N G'rlne
down dc s;1eec picked up wallet
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ely friends p.,s! "a. Johnson a. ue
sun.aA ca lie cocv with lin ulEt:3''a
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ia; yuu ~,a,:,t be Philosophers. kase tis
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