The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-01
SHUNG Up!
Bill Hepburn Our Artistick Black
smith Had a Awful %Experients
Which He Will Soon not For
get---BilI Desires to Know Who
Done 1t But He Probably New
yer Will

Bill Hepburn, our artistick black
smith, had a sickening & na~useating ex-
p%erients last Satterday, the memry of
which will cluster in his memry for
menny yrs to come, we persoom. Bill
! says if he could only find out who playd
SIGH a low down mean joke on him he
would approximate it a good cal and he
calkilates he would make it hot for the
perpetrators. We calkilate the same.
Last Satterday Bill went to the Co.
seat, leaving Bingville at 4 a. m. in the
morning. When Bill goes to the CO.
seat every Satterday he don't ushually
leave Bingville much before 8 or 9 in
the morning, but the reason Bill left SO
turrible early on the above occasion is
that he haddent had a drink all wk and
the awful Demon of Ticker in him was
demanding to be sashiated, which is
why Bill TUX a early start. He said he
felt as if he couldn't skeercely wait I'm
til he would reach the Co. seat to ticker
up, and he ~wa1lopped the old white
mare up hill and down in order to get
there as soon as possible.
Being as Bill got SIGH a early start
and reached the Co. seat sooner than
ushual and lickered up as oon as he
got there the result was that he started
back to Bingville about l p. m, and ar
rived here about 4 p. m, whereas lie
don't ushuAly get in until after dark.
The first warning folks had of Bills
approach was when they heerd some
buddy singing "Old Hundred" and other
hymns at the lower end of town, and
here it was Bill settin back in his buck
board with the lines draggin on the
ground and the old gray mare mopin
along the road with her head down and
her ears back, all tuckered out. It's a
good thing Bills old mare knows enuff
to keep the road when Bill gifts under
the weather, becuz if she diddent Bill
would git killed like es not.
Jest as Bill entered Bingyil1e little
Tommy Barker (Bige Barkers SOM
and Skinny" Peters, who is a son of
Hank Peters, happend to be sneakin into
Bingvil1e via the back alleys, being as
they had run off from home down along
Snake Crick to go swimmin when they
had ben forbid to do so by their par
ents, and they had gilty conshiences and
diddent know but praps they had been
misd and would ketch it when they ar
rove home.
After Skinny and Tommy had been
swinmin they laid out in the sun until
their hair was dried off and then they
started home thro the woods. While
they was traipsin along Tommy he spied
a big hornets nest on the lower limb
of a tree, and he stumped Skinny to
bust it open with a stone and then run
like thunder; but Skinny thort it would
be more fun to stop up the hole in the
hornets nest, thus combining the hornets
inside the nest, as you might say, and
carry the nest back to Bingville.
Well, the boys made a stopper outen
some soft fine dried grass and when
they diddent see no hornets about the
nest Skinny he closed the hole in it with
the stopper, then they broke off the limb
it was fast to and run like sixty to git
away before eny hornet which happend
to be off somewheres would come back
and ketch them.