Charlevoix county herald., 1912-07-06
Chauffeur! chauffeur; DON'T 60 SO

collapsed into seat. sprawling as
helplessly as a mammoth oyster on
table-cloth.
The porter rushed to his aid and
hoisted him to his feet with an un-
easy sense OF impending trouble. He
felt as IL someone had left a mon
strous baby on his doorstep. but all
he said was:
Tickets, please"
There ensued a long search, fat.
ffabby hands Topping and fumbling
from pocket to pocket Once more
the porter was the discoverer.
Il see 1t. Don't look no mo-. Here
It is-up In yo' hatband" He lifted
1t out and chuckled. Had 1t right
next his brains and couldn't remem.
ba!" He took up the appropriately
huge luggage of the bibulous wan
derer and led him to the other end OF
the aisle.
"Numba two n yours, sab. Right
heah-all nice and cosy, and already
made up"
The big man looked through the
curtains into the cabined confinement.
and groaned:
That! Haven't you got a mans
size berth?"
Sorry, sab. That's as big bunk
as they is on the train"
Have l got to be locked up In that
pigeon-hole for-for how many days
is it to Reno?"
"Reno?" The porter greeted that
meaningful name with smile. Were
doc In Reno the-the-mawnin or
the fo'th day, sab. Yassah." He put
the baggage down and started away.
but the fat man seized his hand. with
great emotion:
Don't leave me all alone In there.
porter, for I'm broken-hearted man."
rs that so? Too pad, sah."
Were you ever a broken-hearted
man, porter?"
Always, sah."
Did you ever put your trust in
false-hearted woman?"
"Often, sab"
WAS she ever true to you. por-
ter?"
Never, sah."
Porter. we are partners in mis-
sis-ery."
And he wrung the rough, black hand
with a solemnity that embarrassed
the porter almost as much as it would
have embarrassed the passenger him.
self If he could have understood what
he was doing. The porter disengaged
himself with a patient but hasty:
I'm afraid you'll have to 'scuse me.
I got to hep the other passengers on
bode"
Don't let me keep you from your
duty. Duty is the-the-" But he
could not remember what duty was.
and he would have dropped off to
sleep, If he had not been startled by
a familiar voice which the porter had
luckily escaped.
"Pawtah! Pawtah! Can't you raise
this Lighter rather can't you lower
1t? Pawtah! This light is so in
fernally dim can't read"
To the Englishman's intense amaze
ment his call brought to him not the
porter, but a rising moon with the
profound query:
"Whass a III thing like dim light.
when the light OF your life has gone
out?"
Il beg your pardon?"
Without further invitation. the
mammoth descended on the English
mans territory
I'm a broken-hearted man. Mr.
Mr. didn't get your name"
"Er-ah--I dare say"
Thanks, will sit down" He lift
ed a great carry-all and airily tossed
it into the aisle, set the Gladstone
on the lap OF the infuriated English
man, and squeezed into the seat op-
posite. making a sad miX-up OF knees.
my names Wellington. Ever hear
OF lii Jimmie Wellington? That's
me-"
ANY relation to the Duke?"
"Nagh!"
He no longer interested Mr.. Wedge
wood. But Mr.. Wellington was not
aware that he was being snubbed. He
went right on getting acquainted:
Are you married. Mr.-Mr.-r
Not"
my heartfelt congratulations.
Hang on to your luck. my boy. Don't
let any female take IL away from you"
He slapped the Engiishman on the
elbow amiably, and his prisoner was
too stifed with wrath to emit more
than one feeble "Pawtah!"
Mr.. Wellington mused on aloud:
"Oh. II had only remained single.
But she was so beautiful and she
swore to love, honor and obey. Mrs.
Wellington is a queen among women.
mind you. and have nothing to say
against her except that she has the
temper Of a tarantula." He italicized
the word with light flip of his left
hand along the back OF the seat. lie
did not notice that he filliped the
angry head OF Mr.. Ira Lathrop In the
next seat. He went on with his por
trait OF his wife. "She has the
Extravaganza OF sultana"-another
flip for Mr.. Lathrop-"the zhealousy
of a cobra, the firtatiousness of a
humming bird" Mr.. Lathrop was glar-