The Washington herald., 1912-06-09
.PATHFINDING IS.
UNLIKE MOTORING
The Hsrald's Representative Says
"Eevsr Again" Until Germ
Invades His System.
By wILLIAlI ULLMAN.

! ~ NlLLAAM ULLLANs
Sitting in . motor car almost eontin-
uously for three days, going over sSs
miles Of roadway, up hill and down,
through sand. over bridges, around dan
gerous curves. over rocks and bitches,
with the sun and the flying sand tortur-
ing your tender face as well as dust for
an appetizer and dust for desert that
well, that IL not the joyride or the pleas
ant little tour through sweet-smeIling
green fields that I had anticipated.
when / joyfully and eagerly accepted an
invitation to become one Of the path
finders
This being my maiden trip with a path
| finding crew and not caring to disclose
my ignorance OF such Affairs by asking
questions. ! climbed gieefully into the
machine at the starting point, picturing
to myself a heavenly journey OF three
days and inwardly sad because II was
not TO last longer.
Three days later when arrived back
at the starting point. where had stepped
into the machine so bright and happy,
/ climbed painfully out again-dirty and
weary; face, neck, and ears burned by
the sun; limbs cramped and aching,
muscles sore and every bone in my body
feeling as though It were out of place
and, like the man in the cartoon, my
on my lips.
Believe me, motoring as pictured in the
ads and pathfnding are two separate
and distinct forms Of amusement The
| first Is for the sane and the latter for
the insane. Motoring you stop. look,
and enjoy. Pathfndlng you dare to look
and Il costs you a quarter for liniment
But that was several days back. /
am feeling better now and as the rae
Ing germ gets the racing driver and
the speed germ brings fees to the con-
stable, the pathhnding germ has innocu-
lated my system and is going to sehd me
over the same course again on June II.
One Of the amusing incidents OF the
recent pathhnding trip ocucrred short
ly after the pathfinders left Allentown
The party was spinning merrily along
the road at about a forty-mile clip,
when, passing a little house on the
roadside, the entire party was startled
by q womGn's scream. Looking back
We saw a woman standing on the little
porch waving her arms frantically and
at the same time continuing her screams.
Believing that some terrible accident had
happened. the car was brought to a
halt and then driven back to the house.
By that time. We were greatly excited
while the screaming female had calmed
down and quietly asked US for cents
for toll,
Another humorous incident occurred
after we refused to heed the warning
Of the dRrkeninE skies. The rain de-
scended swiftly upon US in huge drops
before Harry Duckstein, our chief ad-
wiser, ordered the car stopped, that we
might don our rain clothes. In our
haste to cover up We could not get hold
Of our own garments, each man wran-
Cling with all the others over this or
that coat All the time We were argu-
ing, the rain kept pouring down, until,
by the time We were buttonedw up in the
waterproof clothes. We were thoroughly
drenched underneath. No sooner than
we were comfortably protected, and
ready to continue our journey, the rain
ceased; the sky cleared, and the sun
smiled down upon US. We tried to smile
back. but the best we could summon to
our faces was a foolish and sickly grin.
In connection with the foregoing I wish
to add that the frantic efforts OF Harry
Ward, endeavorinE to stow safely away
from the rain, a little siX-bit motoring
cap that he had been wearing, and the
writer stopping to ask for advice as
to what disposition he should make of
his duster, AFFORDED the little party many
q good laugh, after the rain had cleared
away, and the ridiculous side lOomed up.
Tho writer attempted TO amuse the
crowd with some gray-haired jokes and
suffered continually thereafter by being
forced to sit and listen to a lot Of al |
Eeged witticisms on the part OF Howard |
Fisk. The balance Of the party was
unanimous in declaring that our attempts |
to be funny produced the only sad mo-
ments of the trip. And Harry Ward en- |
tertained US with a song that made me |
slap my nurse right in the face the first |
time heard II.
Interlocutor Duckstein: ''Mr Fisk, you |
appear to be enjoying your trip on this |
warm day"
Tanbo Fisk: ''Yes, indeed. Mr.. Duck |