Evening journal., 1912-02-06
NEW MEMS OF YESTERDAY
enc Of ArtemuS Wards
Little Jokes
By Holland


Charles Il. Briggs was a prominent
member of Americas best literary cir
Gle and in the professional and busi-
ness association with Edgar Allan Poe
on the New York Broadway Journal,
which Briggs started in 1874 and OF
which Poe was associate editor For
practically half century Mr.. Briggs
knew intimately most of the men
whose names during that period be-
came traditionally associated with
American literature But, with the pos
sible exceptions of his relations with
James Russell Lowell and Fitz-Greene
Halleck, the literary friendship in
which he took the keenest delight was
That with Charles r. Browne, better
known as Artemus Ward.
Il have always believed" Mr.. Briggs
said to me about year before his
death, which occurred in 1877, that If
Artemus Ward had not fallen a victim
to consumption when he was just en-
tering the prime of manhood, he would
have greatly increased his fame by
modifying somewhat his extravagant
style Of humor and giving it a higher
literary quality. And also believe
that had his life been spared a few
years longer, he would have gained a
substantial fortune from his writings
and lectures
"Those of us who knew Ward best,
continued Mr.. Briggs, knew that the
best of his humorous sayings and the
most deliciously quaint of his ideas
were those which came spontaneously
when he was with his friends He was
a perpetual source of delight to them,
and his humor bubbled up constantly
taking the queerest and most eXtrava-
giant terms.
Here | will tell you an example Of
it. Ward had been dining with friends
at a restaurant near Union Square,
New York, and as was customary
when he and a group OF cronies got
together around "A supper table, It was
long past midnight before the party
separated. With one or two friends
about two o'clock in the morning,
Artcmus started to walk down Broad
way TO his hotel about mile distant
On the way down they saw through
the glass doors Of hotel near Astor
Place the night clerk, who seemed to
be figuring upon accounts.
Let US enter said Ward, I have
a communication to make
"The party went up to the desk and
in his most solemn manner, Ward said
to the clerk: ---...
is the proprietor Of this hostelry
inY
Yes, SIR replied the clerk, but
he is abed'
Summons him. said Ward. Say to
him that there is gentleman below
who has a very important communica-
tion to make to him even at this late
hour
Reluctantly the clerk called the
proprietor. who came in a few mo-
ments only partially dressed
With the greatest dignity and po-
liteness possible, Ward asked; You
are the proprietor of this most re-
spectacle establishment
Puzzled by this address, and yet
conquered by the dignity and polite
ness and seriousness of Wards man.
ner, tho proprietor answered 4 am
"Thereupon Ward leaned toward
him If you have any gin,' he con-
fided, produce it, for it is over a glass
that Will make my communication to
you
Almost mechanically the proprietor
took from behind the counter a bottle
of gin and bade the clerk bring some
tumblers After the gin and water had
been swallowed, Ward turned to the
proprietor and bringing his lips close
to his ears said in stage whisper
Now / will make my important com
munication. It is this: Remember, sir
that eternal vigilance is the price Of
| liberty.
with that, Ward turned and made
for the door, leaving the hotel propri-
etor staring almost stupidity after him
AS Ward passed by the desk, he paused
a moment, took his card from his
pocket. wrote upon it, Admit two tC
my Moral Show (that was the name
of Wards lecture which he was theT
delivering in New York; and handed
il TO the clerk.
After Ward and his party were
some distance away they heard q
shout. Looking around they saw the
hotel proprietor, still in his shirt
sleeves. standing at the door of the
hotel, holding aloft the card and beck
oning TO them to return. But they die
not And that card the proprietor o.
the hotel kept for years as a treasure.
Copyright, 1912, by L. J. Edwards. al
rights reserved)