davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05
SUCH A POOR INHERITANCE
Tears of Rival Attorney Were Elk
planned, Not In Too Friendly
Fashion.

At the trial of Horne Tooke, Lord
Eldon, speaking of his own reputation,
said:
1T is the little inheritance ! have
to leave my children, and, by Gods
help, | will leave it unimpaired."
Here he shed tears, and to the as
tonishment of those present Milford,
the attorney general, began to weep.
Just look at Milford" said a by
stander to Horne Tooke, what on
earth is he crying for?"
Tooke replied:
He is crying to think what small
inheritance Eldon's children are like
to get"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05
HANDS WOULD CRACK OPEN

About two months ago my hands
started to crack open and bleed, tse
skin would scale off, and The good
flesh would burn and itch dreadfully.
When my hands first started to get
sore, there were small blisters like wa
ter blisters which formed. They
itched dreadfully, it just seemed as
though could tear the skin all off
would scratch them and the skin would
peel off, and the flesh would be all
red and crack open and bleed 1t wor-
ried me very much, as | had never
bad anything the matter with my skin
l was SO afraid l would have to give
up my employment.
my doctor said he didn't think 1t
would amount to anything. But it kept
getting worse. One day saw piece
In one of the papers about lady who
had the same trouble with her hands.
She had used Cuticura Soap and Oint.
ment and was cured. l decided to try
them, and my hands were all healed
before | had used one cake of Cuti-
cura Ointment. | am truly thankful
for the good results from the Cuticura
Soap and Ointment, for thanks to them
l was cured, and did not have to lose
a day from work. | have had no re-
turn of the skin trouble" (Signed)
Mrs. Mary e. Breig, 1922 Brown
Street, Philadelphia, Pa. Jan. IL, 1911.
Although Cuticura Soap and ONT
ment are sold everywhere, a sample
of each, with 32-page book, will be
mailed free on application to "Cuti-
cura." Dept. L., Boston.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

Barber Suggests Hair Tonic to
Bald Headed Man"
Pastors Parrot Tries to Help Him
Ask a Blessing at Company Dinner"
Great Airing of Soiled Linen; Fire
In Chinese Laundry"
1.-TWO Society Leaders Accidentally
Meet in Pawnshop."
Manicure Lady Recognizes Run
away Husband by His Warts"
Fighting Editor In When Kicker
Calls at Office"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05
A Beautiful Decline.

Ollie James, the gigantic and genial
congressman and senator-elect from
Kentucky, was in conversation the
other day with a .Washingtonian when
the latter made certain inquiries with
reference to a mutual friend whom he
had not seen for a number of years.
And how does Col. Prescott spend
his declining years." he asked.
Beautifully, sir; beautifully" an
swered james. "He has a fine farm,
sir. A string OF trotters, sir. And a
barrel Of whisky Is years old-aId a
wife of the same age, sir"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05
When Your Eyes Need Care

Try Murine Eye Remedy. No Smartng--Feels
Fine-Acts Quickly. Try 1t for Red, Weak
Watery Eyes and Granulated Eyelids. Illus
trated Book in each Package. Murine is
compounded by our Oculists-not n Patent Med
iene" but used In successful Physicians Prnc-
tice for many years. Now dedicated 10 the Pub
lie and sold by Druggists ut Csc and 60c per Bottle
Murine Rye Salve In Aseptic Tubes, 25c and Soc.
Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

Mr. Naggitt-It was a good thing for
Jonah that you weren't hia wife.
Mrs. Naggitt-Why so?
Mr. Naggitt-You would never have
accepted that whole story as an excuse
for staying away from home for three
days and nights.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05
Wheat Gnes DnAun

De Broker-Hear about De Curbb?
De Ledger-No What's happened
to him?
De Broker-Knocked fiat.
De Ledger-You don't say? Was
he caught by the drop in wheat.
De Broker-Well. yes; something
like that A barrel OF -four fell on
him.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05
A Poor Guesser,

Wedmore-Before | married, learn
ed to live on half my income.
Singleton-And found that it was a
wise step, Ell?
Wedmore-Yes, only half was the
wrong proportion should have made
1t an eighth.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

Knicker-I thought simplicity was
to be the keynote of your gowns.
Mrs. Knicker-It is; | have simply
got to have them.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05
Elegant Lanqua qc.

"A poet speaks of himself as a
blind voyager across the bitter
seas"
Perhaps an overindulgence In fancy
food has given him an acute sensa-
ton of NAL de mer."
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

Cheerfulness keeps up kind Of sun
shine in the soul, and fills it with a
steady and perpetual serenity.-Ad-
olson.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05
Hard 70 Find.

Here are some verses entitled,
The Road to Already.
"Pshawi Almost any poet can tell
the way to Already, but none of them
ever gets there"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

tor s medicines. At
everymonthly period
l had to stay in bed
four days because of
hemorrhages, an d
my back was so weak
/ could hardly walk.
| have been taking
Lydia E. Pinkham 8
V e g e table Com
pound and now l can
stay up and do my
work. / think it ia
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

The Remedy that revolutionizes and re-
generates the victim of constipation is
Garfield Tea, a herb combination.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

affinity in a woman with an obese
bank account.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

He who reigns within himself and
rules passions, desires and fears is
more than a king.-Milton.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

We can do more good by being good
than in any other way.-Burton.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

Mrs. Wfnslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces infiamma.
ton, allays pain. cures wind collie, 25c a bottle
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

Two heads are better than one-in
q cabbage patch.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

Garfield Tea will keep the whole system in
perfect condition.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

PILES CURED IN 8 TO IA DAYS
Your druggist will refund money II PAZO ONT
MFNr fails to curesany case of Itching, Blind
Bleeding or Protruding Piles in to Ii days. 5Oc
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

If love is really blind how is it that
love can always find way?
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

Always hold fast to love; we win
by tenderness and conquer by for
giveness.-F w. Robertson
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05
How Mrs. Cline Avoided
Operation.

Brownsville, Ind can say that
Lydia E. Pinkham s Vegetable Compound
has done me more good than anything
else. One doctor said / must be opera
ted upon for a serious female trouble
and that nothing could help me but an
operation.
Il had hemorrhages and at times
could not get any medicine to stop them.
l got in such a weak condition that would
have died if l had not got relief soon.
"Several women who had taken your
Compound, told me to try it and / did
and found it to be the right medicine to
build up the system and overcom
female troubles.
am now in great deal better health
than ever expected to be, so l think I
ought to thank you for it. - Mrs. o. M.
CLINE, S. Main ST., Brownsville, Ind.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05
Kindly
Intentions

The first time Holpeter saw the dog
he walked on rapidly and tried to
think of something else. Memories of
past benevolences in the canine lines
and their resultant troubles prompted
him to adopt this course All his life
Holpeter had been seeing homeless
dogs, and even he had reached the
point where he realized that it was
not always we'll to have too acute a
vision.
Further, this particular dog was not
at all the sort of dog a sane person
would care to see. 1t might have been
almost anything in the line Of dog ex-
cept a Mexican hairless, because 1t
was SO grimy and matted that it's or
iginal style OF architecture and decora-
ton was quite obliterated. But Hol.
peter had caught glance from It's
eye that struck In. He turned up his
fur collar and dug his hands farther
into his pockets and strobe on, frown-
ing.
Il came near bringing dog home"
Holpeter told his wife at dinner that
night.
my goodness!" cried She Il should
think you'd have more sense!"
"Oh, l was just joking!" Holpeter
made haste to say. I'VE can't have
dog in fat"
The next morning as he he walked
down the street Holpeter saw the dog
again, shivering In the mouth of an
alley, tail between legs.
Good boy!" Holpeter said reckless
ly and snapped his fingers.
The dog put forward one shivering
paw and then huddled back 1t was
too cold evidently to risk the effort
which might end in a rebuff
That noon in the midst of his hot
lunch Holpeter choked. Bet 1t hasn't
had a square meal for weeks!" he
growled.
"Huh?" said the man who was talk
ing to him.
Nothing at ALL" Holpeter snapped.
The next morning In his pocket re-
posed neat little packet of meat and
bones and Holpeter was terribly con-
cerned when the dog was not at the
usual alley. He found the beast a
block away, however, and gave him
the food. He stood watching it eat
and was run into by six men inside
of a minute.
Say Holpeter broke out to his
| wife that evening, he'd be fine lit
tie fellow If he had bath and was
| fed up!"
Mrs. Holpeter with wifely intuition,
| Jumped the conversational gap and
guessed right the first time Henry"
she said, Il wish you'd get that dog
out of your mind! Do you remember
the collie you brought home which
ate up your aunt's new sealskin and
lost you legacy?"
We'll, there are no more legacies
to lose" said her husband cheerfully.
"And II you could see his pathetic
eyes!"
| Holpeter each morning began to get
anxious when he was a block away
! from the alley freQuented by the dog
IL ne Idlled 10 see IL ne hung around
to wait for it. His efforts to furth-
er His acquaintance with the little
beast went for naught. The dog had
stood SO much abuse that its suspi-
cions were deep.
Finally on a day which was SO cold
that Ice cream would have tasted like
hot drink Holpeter threw caution to
the winds.
It's a shame" he said, ito think of
that nice little dog freezing to death
and starving and nobody willing to put
out helping hand! I'm going to take
him home and fix him up!"
Fired by this virtuous resolve, Hol-
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

Fired by this virtuous resolve, Hol-
peter left work an hour earlier than
usual that afternoon to search for the
friendless pup. When he saw 1t
and whistled it edged away.
Poor chap!" Holpeter said. at
doesn't know I'm his friend!"
The dog ran across the street and
Holpeter followed, narrowly escaping
the wheels of an automobile and fol
lowed by the lavish remarks of its
chauffeur. Once on the sidewalk the dog
started to run and Holpeter broke In
to a gallop. The woman whose hand
bag he carried away on a coatsleeve
button in his haste protested so vocif-
erously that Holpeter, quite uncon-
scious of his crime, was forced to
stop because of the crowd that ha-
raised him.
Everybody told the policeman that
Holpeter was trying his best to get
AWAY because they saw him lodging
and running! 1t was an exceedingly
cold evening and the policeman was
not in a pleasant frame of mind
Holpeter got home at II o'clock that
hight and told his impassioned story
TO his wife.
well" she said when he had ended
his narrowing tale, what became of
the dog?"
Dog" roared Holpeter. "If he has
any sense he's running yeti"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

acted very freely but
secretions were re-
tarded and scalded In
passage. / was weak
and much run down.
After taking 9th
err remedies without
benefit, | began using
Doan's Kidney Pills
and was completely
cured. | was going
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05
MRS. MARY |. REMINGTON.
A Resident Of Gllroy, Cal.

Cured OF Serious Case at Criti-
cal Period.
Il suffered so severely from pain
and soreness over my kidneys" says
Mrs. Remington, that 1t was a task
for me to turn In bed. My kidneys
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05
WHERE DOCTORS
FAILED TO help
Lydia E Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound Restored
Mrs. Green's Health
Her Own Statement.

Covlngton, Mo. Your medicine has
done me more good than all the doc
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05
SHELDON SMITH.
Prop. Arlington House, Woodland, Cal.

Cured Of Serious Case and Feels Like
Boy, Despite His 76 Years.
Three years ago l was almost
HELPLESS said Mr.. Smith, Kidney Sc
cretions scalded terribly and obliged
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

me to arise ten
to twelve times a
night. My left limb
became so stiff and
sore | could hardly
walk - just hobbled
around with a cane.
Il had almost every
complaint that dis
eased kidneys pro-
duce and Doan's Kid
ney Pills cured them
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

through the critical period of a wom-
ans life at the time, and after using
Doan's Kidney Pills there was a mir
aculous change for the better in my
health"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

ALL At the age of 76 | feel like boy,
and enjoy health and comfort. Can
anyone wonder at my gratitudeY'
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1912-04-05

than any other dye. One l0c package {
Write for free booklet-How to Dye,
Evening capital news. (Boise, Idaho) 1901-1927, 1912-09-29
PACT |!

"Of course" said Mrs. McKim;
your friends will be mine and mine
will be yours. If you flirt with any
Of my friends will not object, and
If l fiirt with yours you are not to
object
This matter of the friendships of
husband and wife is no trivial one.
Many marriages are wrecked be-
cause husbands refuse to like their
wives friends and vice versa. II
was frequently said that Mr.. and
Mrs Emerson, Mr.. Vanderbilt,s
parents-in-law, laid their first trou.
bic to the fact that neither would
make friends with the others
friends. In Mr.. Vanderbilt's case this
was also true. His first wife would
not fraternize with his friends.
Evening capital news. (Boise, Idaho) 1901-1927, 1912-09-29

are separated from their domestic
partners.
On Mrs. McKim's side the record
showed Everybody was doing It,"
Her sister. Mrs. Jack Horner, di.
vorced her husband and married
James McVickar. Then her parents.
Mr.. and Mrs. Isaac Emerson. were
divorced, and each has since mar.
ried again. Mrs. McKim's divorce
occurred just before that Of her
parents. Thus each member Of her
family has passed through the
divorce court.
With these records before them
the prospective bride and groom. SO
the story goes. decided to take this
most unusual step. A week or two
before the marriage was to be cele.
brated in the quaint little village Of
Reigate Borough. England, Mr.. Van
derbilt appeared at Mrs McKim's
country estate with several very
legal looking documents and his
lawyer.
Sin the midst Of courtship pre-
pare for divorce"
There was the marriage settle
ment and a new will to be signed.
and then this divorce agreement
was brought forth and discussed in
this manner, according to friends
who are fully acquainted with the
details:
I'VE must do all we can to avoid
any divorce complications. We have
both suffered from toe much pub
licity and newspaper notoriety. It
behooves US. therefore, to fore
stall any such publicity in the
event Of our marriage proving I'M.
successful" announced MIR. Wander.
bilt.
Mrs. McKim nodded in assent
and pointed out several things to
be considered. I'VE must arrange
the financial side. then, so that
there will be no fight over alimony
poor mother was always In hot
water over her Allowance"
Quite right" responded Mr.. Van.
derbilt.
1t was. therefore. arranged that
Mrs. Vanderbilt, the bride, was, in
event of divorce, under no condi.
tons to talk to newspaper people
or to give out any Information
about herself or her husband. Mr..
Vanderbilt. on his side. was not to
talk to any newspaper people ON
any subject but horses.
While their marriage continues
happy and they live together. Mrs,
Vanderbilt's personal allowance il
to be. approximately. one hundred
thousand dollars q year. Mr.. Van.
derbilt Is to pay all house and sta.
BILE maintenance.
In case of divorce. II Mr.. Wander.
bilt Is at fault three million dollars
are to be settled on his wife. Each
girl child Is to receive one million
and each boy three millions. Il il
further specified that each child
shall spend six months with each
parent-no matter what the causea
OF separation. In case Of Q son. hi,
entire education Is to be arranged
by the father.
II Mr.. Vanderbilt secures the Al.
vorce. or It 10 secured by Mrs. Van.
derbilt, although she be at fault.
her allowance viii be one hundred
thousand dollars annually. Nj. van,
Evening capital news. (Boise, Idaho) 1901-1927, 1912-09-29
Hon. the Interesting Alfred Vanderbllts Pax
Zach Divorced Once Most of Their
Friends and Relatives Divorced T0o) Have
Planned to Rid Themselves of Divorces
Annouances if THEY'RE Euer Divorced Again

derbilt to pay all expenses for the
education.
These vital questions fully con-
sidered, there were several minor
is said, was left unturned in Mr..
Vanderbilt's grim effort to do away
with the divorce troubles that have
previous matrimonial episode every
step he took, every breath he drew.
was construed as bearing in some
way on the divorce case. He did
not intend to have this happen
again. If he took long and un.
expected journey and his wife fol-
lowed him on the next train the
gossips said that she was chasing
him.
an our life together" said Mr..
Vanderbilt. II must be able to
travel as ! please. without any in.
reference"
Most assuredly." said his future
partner; land I. in turn. must be al
lowed to spend as much time in
Paris as l wish, without question
from you"
agreed. Neither your visits to
Paris nor my journeys into the un-
known are to be considered as
grounds for unhappiness," was Mr..
Varderbilts statement.
This was great step in the right
direction. Many wives, in society
and out OF it, make themselves ter
ribly unhappy when their husbands
seek one-sided vacations. This un.
happiness frequently leads to the
divorce court. Husbands In the
millionaire class often object 10
their wives spending much time
and money in Paris. and their oh.
1ections frequently lead to the same
bitter end. Mr.. and Mrs. Wander.
bilt have discounted this danger by
their plain and concise pre-nuptial
pact.
Absence must not make the
heart grow colder"
In her first marriage Mrs. McKim
suffered keenly when her husband
reproached her for her devotion to
yachting. She would often 60 with
her father on long cruises. Mr.. Nc.
Kim objected bitterly. There were
Quarrels and SO much unh0ppiness
that at last Mrs. Mckim had to give
up yachting.
With this in mind, Mr.. Vanderbilt
made further stipulations. II do
not like your fad for cruising. but II
you must live on the water | will
provide you beautiful houseboat.
where you can spend as much time
as you please. and this will moi
cause me to seek divorce"
Very well; then l shall not com.
plain when you devote yourself m
your horses and when you 90 on
your coaching trips" was Mira. NC
Kim's counter.plan.
In this stipulation both Mr.. ana
Mrs. Vanderbilt showed their an.
probation Of tho fact that husbands
and wives should display toleration
for each Others pleasures. There
was one thing more to be consid.
You must be friends with nv
rtends II we are to avoid the hazards
u the divorce MILL" said Mr.. Van,
lerbut
Evening capital news. (Boise, Idaho) 1901-1927, 1912-09-29
charming New Picture Of Mira Alfred Cwynne Vanderbilt f,ee
Margaret Enerson McKim). "

Many Of the stipulations in this
agreement may seem trivial to many
husbands and wives. But they are
NOT Present-day divorces grow from
very small beginnings An unbe.
coming hat worn by a wife b no
!egaI ground for divorce. But that
nat may actually lead to one! The
husband objects to the hat. hates to
see his wife wear 1t, and. perhaps.
sees another woman at this moment
wearing q hat that makes her look
ravishingly beautiful. He follows
the hat eventually through the d.
vorce mill.
1T was my wife's hat that ala
It" he might Gay,
Evening capital news. (Boise, Idaho) 1901-1927, 1912-09-29
London, Sept. 10.

London, Sept. 10.
IN the midst of the truly regal
preparation for the advent of a
Vanderbilt heir, reports of a
curious pre-nuptial divorce agree
nent entered into by Mrs. Margaret
Emerson McKim and Alfred Gwynne
Vanderbilt q few days before their
marriage in 1911 are current among
the friends of the interesting couple.
From the terms said to be included
In this pact it would seem that
American fashionable society has
really made an innovation In the
ancient code of courtship.
From time immemorial the man
and the maid have been supposed to
be too much in love with each other
to contemplate anything but an un.
interrupted term of marriage. Do
not the fairy books say. And then
they lived happily ever after?" In
fact. It used to be thought indicate
for girl even to ask what her
lovers prospects were-and the
lover would never have thought of
inquiring into his beloved's dishar-
monies of temper. The very idea OF
thinking about divorce while still in
contemplation Of matrirnony would
have been deemed outrageous.
And yet 1t would seem that the
Vanderbilt forethought is more or
less enlightened. The girl nova
days informs herself very fully upon
her lovers financial standing and
his prospects before she weds him.
Eugenics are to the fore with their
coldly scientific iSea Of mating.
Many men when they become mar
ried get insured for the benefit Of
their wife and The prospective fam.
ily ''In the midst Of life We arc
IN DEATH" Therefore. It would
seem that the Vanderbilt idea. detri-
mental to romance as It may seem.
IL, after all. highly sensible and
practical and up to date
'<Iow the divorce germ has af.
fected the families."
Mr.. Vanderbilt is the first man Of
his class to attempt to solve certain
divorce problems before marrying.
OF course, T. is impossible to draw
M any contract and set OF regula-
tons that would have any legal
value In this country without run.
ming the risk of being convicted Of
eollusion.
Mr.. and Mrs. Vanderbilt have evi.
Aantly satisfied themselves that
their agreement will help them both
materially in the event Of divorces
euit. and their friends say they are
perfectly satisfied with 1t.
Il was, too. the most natural thing
for this prospective bride and
rroom to be the pioneers in such q
movement. The divorce records ON
both sides presuppose . tendency
"a divorce In any member OF both.
antilles. On the mediate Van. 4
Seybilt side there has Abeen two di. ]
vorces and two heard, Aorces. Mr..
Vanderbilt himself was divorced BY
Nd flrst wife, Elsie French Wander.
In. His uncle. william X. Wander.
S;if. vas divorced. his hrst wife
~ marrying Oliver H. P. Belmont, I
IN cousins. Willie X. Vanderbilt I
end he Duchess Of Marlborough.
Evening capital news. (Boise, Idaho) 1901-1927, 1912-09-29

Thus. in looking out tor these
MINOR things. as well a. the big oneA
perhaps Mr.. and MIRA Vanderbilt
nave removed from their future
many rocks on which other matek
monial craft sink,
II their present marriage provee
happy and successful one. ~
there seems every reason Il win -.
Society may take the stand that ~
divorce pact helped. And-vhe
kn0ws-perhaps this may LEAD n
including form Of divorce pscf II
suture marriage settlement *
some such way. perhaps. Society ~,
neIp to solve the problem a. IS. -
twentieth Century divorce