The commonwealth., 1912-09-12
Old HICKORY CHIPS.
A daneEaI Mixture Designated fer the
Busy Reader.

/. X. should have kept carbon
copies Of all those epithets he hurled
while he was in the White House.
Mr.. Taft says that the job of Presi
dent must have been a perfect
hell, in Lincoln's time, and vet OLD
Abe made something of a succe SIS Oh
it.
Tom Edison's electric li-ht may
have started the Great White Wav
but it took chorus girls and Holsters
tboth kinds) to complete the Job.
Vermont made a noise like the
falls Of Armageddon.
When the suffrage wave reached
Ohio the tide fell.
4 St. Paul church worker, saws
that the automobile has done more
for sin than any one thing. How
ever, the self-starters have material
| " reduced the output Of cusswords.
! Enough is now known to prove
that the great Roosevelt campaign
OF 1904 was q scandal of corruption
and disgrace.
1t takes a lot Of trouble and worry
III this life to make a man lose his
optimism when apple dumpling are
as fine as they are this season.
A moose head in mourning will be
the prophetic emblem of the new
party in this state.
No bosses in the new party.
Bosses, you will note, is in the
plural.
Billion dollar congresses are get
ting to be little affairs with this big
country nowadays.
Some Kansas City women are ad
dicted to cigars. That town needs
more smoke inspectors.
Still, If people could reach the top
Of Mount Mckinley by elevator it
would not be worth the journey.
Strong talk is what is needed"
declares the man at Armageddon.
If it were true, there would be real
ly no doubt about whom to elect
President. But it is not.
Doctors say that eating corn bread
is good for the teeth. It might be
added that it is also good for the en-
tire system.
Whenever the Balkans get on fire
all Europe gets ready for a three
alarm.
One Of the allegations in Penn
sylyania divorce suit is that the de-
fendant husband had an insane de-
sire to cook his own meals" There
are households in which that kind Of
trait in q husband would be more
highly appreciated.
Those woman suf'ragists who ex-
pected the colonel to talk the cause
in every speech note with some dis
may and bcWilderment that in the
six speeches delivered in New Eng
land, last Friday and Saturday he
did not refer to it once.
The mendacious liarbirds are again
reported in great quantity at Bull
Moose gatherings.
The high cost of living at New
port; $1,000 for one fish ball.
J. P. Morgan, through his chauf-
feur, has contributed $40 to the Bull
Moose campaign fund, and now the
colonel has got to write another let
ter scorning the tainted stuff.
The explosion of that pot. of beans
out in Colorado adds another terror
to the high cost Of living.
1t seems that q Standard Oil con-
tribution now and then is relished /!
by the best of men.
No, Juliana, the Penrose is a diff
erent variety from the American
Beauty.
Having designated as liars all
those opinions fail to agree with his, |
the Third Termer now stands IN |
grave danger OF exposure as the I
"Dr. Cook Of American politiss.
1t is fortunate that President Taft
and ex-President Roosevelt won't
have to ride together from the
White House to the Capitol again
March 4. Even the Colonel would
find the experience embarrassing.
Nearly 400 places are mentioned
in the report on the N. \. gambling
LIST New York's new Four Hun
dred.
Hearst's Independence League
has fused with the Bull Moose party
in Brooklyn. Birds Of a feather.
Only people of New York coula
enioy themselves by standing around
looking at a house in which IS Co.,
900 Astor baby is sleeping.
Parcels post advantages to the
householder are another result OF
efforts in congress.
Fate cannot do much harm to
country that offsets a billion doiiaf
with a three billion doliaf