Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1912-10-24
Bv NJ. QUAD

denCe, I've made mistakes in nv thre"
marriages, and | don't want to make
one in my fourth ! don't admit that
therell he fourth. but If | should
happen to decide to marry agiu don't
want To be taken in How is widder
woman to Judge a MANI"
We'll. now, il | was thinking OF mar
rying ag'in. which | hain't. as I've got
an old woman and five young uns, I'd
first hunt around for n soft pine ShiugIe
Then I'd sharpen up my jackkuife and
where no burned dog or calf was likely
10 come rootiug around. and then I'd
white and think and think and whit.
tie Mehhe I'd whittle and think for
whole week, but when got through
I'd know that | was correct
But | cant whittle
NO, but YOU can knit. and that's lust
as good Who is the feller who ~
sparkling you this time
Its a man named Lemuel Johnston
and he's about fifty years old"
And what have you made up your
mind about him?"
Il haven't made it up Mt all That's
what I'm asking your advice for"
II see. Well III do the best can
II was wilder woman and a man
come along and appeared to have de
signs agin me I'd get out my knitting
and watch him as he talked. and I'd
remember certain things-to wit,
namely
"A man who sits cross legged most
of the time is purity certain to he lazy
"A man who stands around with his
hands in his pockets will kick like a
steer If dinner isn't ready ON the mint
THE man who comes courtiug and
rings in poetry is going to raise row
after marriage if his wife don't like far
pork
The man who Is narrow bet wpeu
the eyes and carries sharp nose has
widder'S possessions figured to II
cent.
''The man who signs and shakes his
head in mournful way and wishes he
could do more for the heather in AT
RIGA is going to keep nightly close tab
on your pin money after marriage
"A freckled face man is generally "A
contented man. but whether contented
with his lot or to let his wife build
the fire in the morning il n thing You
have rot to find out later on
There are men who come counting
who are soft spoken and move about
like cat After marriage they will
yell Mt the oxen so as to be heard
mile away.
The bOisterous man Is apt to be
hearty and good natured. hut he will
woke the baby up every time he comes
into the house and let all the family
quarrels be known all over the neigh
borhood
"A man who sits and rubs his hands
and smiles and uses precise language Is
thinking how much tea and coffee he
will allow YOU to measure out for a
drawing after marriage
"A scOw between a mans eyes
means concentration OF thought. but
the trouble Is that you dot know
what he has concentrated on 1t NAV
be love. and It may be speculation
"A widder woman In sizing up
Teller who has come sparkling should
take a good look at his mouth If II
is unusually wide his talk will never
go much beyond cabbages. but II ir's q
woman's month he'll be good hand
at saying cutting things If It droopS
at the corners he considers himself
sort OF martyr and Ill used by the
world. and whenever the bread is
heavy or the potatoes not quite done
he's going to break out
Then there's one more sort OF man
He's the chap that boldly knocks on
the door and stalks In when it's open
ed and says:
"'Are you the Wilder Warnerr
Ell am says you
"'Had three husbands. under
standT
~ have
"Well. It's time You took the fourth
and I'm here 10 I'll the bill am
what am and am worth about 5000
all told. I've got to drive along TO the
blacksmiths shop to get my wheel
hAeu, hHu " sup ioI your dub"ti
when ] come back"
And does he stopr asked Aunt
Sally
"He does
"And docs the wilder consentT'
AFTER knitting and thinking for an
hour or 80 .
"And-and II is a happy marriageT
THE chances are even up. and yon
haven't fooled away any time over the
matter"
Aunt Sally turned 10 a piece OF call
90 and wet II with her mouth 10 sec
n n was a fast color and then backed
up to the counter 10 glggie and say:
Thanks. Uncle Sile reckon I'll