The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-05-15
IN MONROE TOWN
A Few Funny Fits, Fresh From
 the Farm to The Farmer

A FeW Funny FlltS, FreSn from
 the Farm to The Farmer Special to THE FARMER, by Arthur
 French.)
 Monroe. May 14.-Now it has started. like this: We must have state road from the Center to the Point house, on the Newtown turnpike This is the main highway, driving to Long Hifl or Bridgeport. Milk carriers use it largely. The terrible mud holes. the straw that broke the camel's back and more. This is the logical route for over one half of the southward teaming from the Center and environs three miles of the road is in Monroe and one in Trumbull. Lots of reason. If the trolley cars ever run, this IS the most direct road for driving to connect with them. So it is that ere many moons something promises to come up in action for a '.good road" a state road or something. A prominent resident says: This high way, at the breaking up of winter was a disgrace to the town. Yes. almost crime to have it. Also, the same allegation as to customary makeshift repairs.
 That was a mighty narrow escape from the Episcopal church going up in smoke and flame, two weeks since. On- ly a fortunate discovery and lively work of a water pail corps saved the building. A lively high wind was blow ing and it would have endangered the adjoining Hazard house and barn, had the church gone into a big blaze. It happened just as people were going into church, so that helpers were on n0a sent. The blaze was caused by the overheated furnace pipe in the eel lar, set fire to the wooden cold air fiue and had worked towards the dry and dusty tinbers and flooring. Funny things happen in pairs; like or two cases I mean. The other beau- tiful Sunday, people coming to River side church found they could not get in, the key was missing and kept shy. There were the windows that men could wiggle through. but of course the ladies would not stand for Deing boosted in, so the parson improvised rostrum of the front stoop, folks stood in the lawn and pleasant out of doors service was held. At the Con- gregational church; lately, some one put away the collection boxes and they couldn't be found, when duty called. SO it was, that the deacons used two derby hats to go Up and down the aisles, in democratic stately fashion, collecting. It was a reminder of the far back days, when the parson was wont to say: .The deacon will now pass around the hat'' Or of that coi- ored minister, who said, as he shook few pennies out of the dicer; Keep yer pennies for de candy shop; do nickels and dimes for things to eat. What we want in dis hat is bills; mon ey bills. Bills am de stuff! Dig up bill.''
 A Monroe family owned : a cat at least, they. had mortgage on it. It was a classy cat especially In the mouse catching and progency line. It might have been named Thomas. but no, 1t wasn't that kind of cat. But anyhow, not long ago it gave birth to litter of kittens. No! No! that's wrong. It wasn't a ltttet-Just one kitten and for the love of-wel, what do you think? That solitaire was nondescrfpt freak of what-is-tt-kitton. It was seemingly we'll formed. but jn- stead, three kittens had grown togeth- CT like a Ia tandem, or chain saul Had. the freak lived the owner might haves started curiosity shop or had a museum after 1t. Now give ear to Tom Pardee-and he doesn't belong to the Ananias club, either. The other night as he was 8OluR uOIuG LO A. 70. HUI D A4O Ce1SS he met a large buck deer in the road, who plunged at him with his antlers and shooed him over a stone wall and up a tree marOOning him there, quite some until his buckship gave up and beat 1t. So Tommy says.-
 Now the pea race Is on. Pea racer Yes! Some Monroe folks have long had the fad of trying to raise the earliest green peas. Anyhow, it isn't much work to bring up a green pea and train it in the way it should go. Perhaps that's the reason. Then there's no cut worm, or the rot, or blight and heaven knows what, to bother. One puts healthy pea in the ground and it's 20 to I shot that it will make good. The winner of the pea race this season, is to be present. ed with an illuminated copy of that beautiful song, phrasing: Under the trees with bowl. on her knees. Sally sat silently smelling green peas.''
 These being May days and moving days; the time to take up your bed and walk"-or any other goods and chattels-the Center Stove club got next by making some striking person. al changes at their rendezvous. John Lester who vacated the flour barrel, had it pre-emptied by Tom .Pardee,. J. I. Andrews occupies the nail ,lzeg, James German, the filled Irish potato sack, Wilbur Benedict the ozone soap box, while Brownies. Procter and French sit on the counter, where they can be seen.
 Can a Muscovy pedigree drake fy?. To be certainly he can, some. A towns man bought one lately and didn't clip his wings, or chain him down. That is. he didn't clip one wing. You see, if you Top off one of his biplanes, when he tries to aviate, he goes Top sided; round in circle. This finally makes him discouraged Or something. Well the above drake meandered, in som way, a mile from home. Nobody rub boring out the front window or sid door saw him walking so he must have flew and no motor cars were smuggling along, for him to do the ''hoOk behind" act.
 There are people in this town who unthinkingly neglect. "a mere cold" though they would not otherwise ex- naSe fheir cfildren OF themseluex fn