Imperial Valley press., 1912-01-03

the mast. Indeed, instead OF a mast
the modern vessel has a smokestack.
Zachary, having read sea stories, be-
came infatuated with the great deep
and shipped as cabin boy on barken-
tine trading between New York and
Hongkong.
The boy made a trifling mistake in
thinking he would like the sea- Even
in that day there was no romance In
being reproved by the captain, sworn
at by the mate and fogged by the
cook. Even the scullion tyrannized
over little Zachary. and. having made
one voyage, the boy remained ashore
though he was too proud to go home.
Indeed. he got as far away as pos
sible from his home and went to work
in a store, his principal duties being
to sweep out early in the morning.
make the fires, clean up generally and
run errandS the rest of the day.
Thompson spent twenty years try
ing to keep his head above water. and
with very poor success. The only
thing about him that was successful
was keeping up his pride.
When he was thirty years old be
married Il girl who should have had
better sense. She, too, had never had
any luck, and now there were two I'M
lucky mortals who proceeded to bring
into the world unlucky children.
Thompson in order to fill the stomachs
of his wife and children. though he
had been born gentleman. took up
any occupation that appeared at last
accepting a position with an under
taker. This led him into that depart
ment Of the mortuary business which
pertains to carrying the dead to their
last resting place
He was taking his hearse TO cover
after Il funeral one evening when be
ran into light buggy driven by a
gentleman who, being nearsjghted and
darkness having come on. did not see
him in time to get out Of his way. and
Thompson, who was dreaming on his
bad luck and his luckless wife and
children. collded with him and smash
ed the vehicle.
You should paint your funeral wag-
on red or some other color if you're
going to drive around nights running
people down." said the gentleman. 1T
was your fault. and you'll have to pay
for my buggy
81 don't believe there is any law
to compel me to do that" said Thomp-
son.
There isn't, eh? Well l think
ought to know since I'm a lawyer"
Just my luckr' moaned Thompson.
"If any one else had run down a
wagon he wouldn't have happened to
hit a lawyer"
BY this time Il small crowd collected,
and a policeman was among the num-
ber.
whats up?" Ire asked.
This driver OF black wagons for
dead men on dark nights has run into
me and smashed a $500 buggy"
''Shall / take him in?" asked the cop.
Not if he will give his name"
Thompson was discouraged. He
gave up his name without murmur:
Zachary Taylor Thompson
The gentleman looked up from the
memorandum book on which he was
about to write the name.
Zachary Taylor Thompson" he
asked.
eyes"
"How did you happen to be named
Zachary Taylor?"
Born when General Taylor licked
the Mexicans and named for him."
"Who was your father?'
Edward Prentiss Thompson"
did you have any brothersY
'Yes-one."
"His name?"
"Winfield Scott Thompson"
"And you consider yourself an un-
lucky MANI
"Never had any luck so far"
"Well, you've got it now. Ten years
ago your brother. Winfield Scott
Thompson, died and left you an estate
worth 100000, and the executors Of
the will are clients of mine. We've
been hunting for you ever since your
brother died, and if we hadn't found
you before the end of this year your
property would have gone to chari-
ty."
"By gumr exclaimed the hearse
driver. "My luck has all come in a
lump"
Mr.. Thompson is now wealthy and
is called Lucky Thompson. the sto-
ry Of how he was found still clinging
to him. But no one who knows him
is aware Of the quarter Of century's
bad luck that attended him.