The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-08-02
USELESS

Henry" began Mrs. Sweet tenta-
lively, as her husband finished his
breakfast and reached for the morn
ing's paper, I'm going shopping to-
day."
"Uh.huh," responded Mr. Sweet from
behind his paper.
Il need some things from down.
town, Henry" Mrs. Sweet went on.
Besides, Ill have to change that rib
bon you matched for me. 1t isn't the
right shade"
"Uh-huh."
,, Henry" said Mrs. Sweet petulant-
ly, Il don't believe you are listening
at all
Course | am" returned her hus-
band, as he turned to the sporting
page. You said something about a
| shade"
81 said" repeated Mrs Sweet, with
emphatic distinctncss, the ribbon you
matched for me isn't the right
shade"
Mr.. Sweet lowered his paper and
looked across at his wife.
ITS baby blue, isn't it?" he asked.
Eyes, ! is" returned his wife.
But you know, Henry, I haven't been
able to wear that shade of blue this
last ten years"
Mr.. Sweet lifted the paper to his
eyes, then lowered it again.
why not?' he asked.
Mrs. Sweet studied her empty tea.
cup.
why not?" her husband persisted.
because l am growing stout" she
answered. reluctantly.
Mr.. Sweet stared.
How does that bar you?" he
asked.
Some people are SO Dense" his
wife returned, pointedly.
Mr.. Sweet grinned.
Am I worse than the Majority" he
asked.
You are worse than-some," his
wife qualified.
"For instance?'
Mrs. Sweet balanced Il spoon on the
edge OF her teacup.
Cite q person." her husband chal'
lenged.
Il could" asserted Mrs. Sweet.
DO" her husband encouraged.
There's Mr.. Joy" began Mrs,
Sweet.
who's he?" interrupted her hus'
band.
He lives In the brown cottage
across the street." explained Mrs
sweet.
Fellow with Dundreary wind
breakers?" questioned her husband
Il am sure his whiskers are very
NICE" said Mrs. Sweet.
How'd you like to see me break
out In that kind Of hailstone catch
ers?" grinned her husband.
Him."
Say it." urged Mr.. Sweet. Dom
spare my feelings"
A twinkle appeared In Mrs. Sweets
eyes. as she returned:
"You couldn't wear them for the
same reason that can't wear baby
blue"
disqualified because Of overweight
eh?" grinned Mr.. Sweet. "But about
the gentleman with the microbe.catch
ers: is he less obtuse than II"
Mrs. Sweet nodded.
Got any other good qualities
lack?" went on her husband.
Ills wife can trust him to brinl
the exact things she sends him for.
returned Mrs. Sweet.
Good eye, Ell? Par<icularize some
more"
He anticipates her slightes
/ Wishes"
"Must be q wizard" commented Mr.
Sweet. Go on"
HE looks after the furnace In win
, ter, without grumbling: and. in sum
mer, takes care Of the lawn"
; Model husband admitted Mr.
Sweet. But how did you get sucl
Il a straight line on him.
$ Their servants and ours are &C
quainted." explained Mrs. Sweet.
II see." grinned her husband, mucl
enlightened. Anything else Mr.
Model Husband does that don't an,
might"
when the weather permits. h
takes the baby out for an airing
Il II took ours out the other night,
d grinned Mr.. Sweet. and whcn VI
o returned you nearly broke ur TIL
l. game"
i. You ought TO be ashamed o
n yourself, Henry Sweet. said Mrs
4, Sweet Indignantly. The idea o
e keeping that boy out till long pas
6 midnight"
!. Hes Is" asserted her husband
10 And he feels the weight OF his year.
let me tell you"
Don't forget my shopping money,
Mrs. Sweet reminded him. as her hui:
band arose from the table
How much do you need" he ash
o cd, taking out his pocketbook.
.. twenty-five dollars will lie suff