davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
LIED BEAUTIFULLY TO HER
Amy, Good Woman, Listened to Jim
Bones Autobiography. Expurgated
4E& for Her Ears.

They sat down In the entry Of
Amy's house and talked---that Is, Jim
talked. IL was the first time that he
had willingly given out In Fuckers
vile any Of the details of his past. But
now all at once 1t seemed that he had
an overwhelming desire to get it
properly expurgated and set forth to
Amy's admiring ears 1t was no more
the truth than any other mans past Is
the truth when he tells 1t to a woman.
She inspired him TO lie about II beau
tifulIy, as she inspired Ebert to lie
about his daily existence, and as ev-
cry good woman inspires every bad
man to fabricate his autobiography.
As he went on with the tale Of his
adventures he began to see himself
glorified in the placid. smiling atten-
tion OF her sweet blind face he won
dered why In the world he had been
SO secretive about those years in the
west.
Jim Bone perceived all at once that
he was not'the rowdy he had supposed
himself to be, but something of q hero
Of the chapter-head smiles upon
Amy's lips. Given the tablet Of such
countenance, and the worst man in
existence can make shining scriptures
Of an ill-spent life. The truth is, we
are all photographed liars. But the
funny thing is that once We see our.
selves clarified by such faith as
Amy's. we accept her version. and ex-
perience a shriven peace that must
distract the God who makes our moral
sense, but does not control It after
ward. On this occasion Bone finished
his metamorphosis from the outlaw in
TO the modest deprecating hero simply
by method OF narrative that left out
the undesirable parts of his real life.
And 1t Is one Of the commonest mira
cles of conversion practieed by either
men or women-Corra Harris In the
Saturday Evening Post.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28

Z =
bish burns day and night and when
the wind is blowing in the direction
OF the residential section, the citi
zens of that section are compelled
to either breathe combination Of
naseauting odors, or leave the
neighborhood
The Bulletin is in receipt of
complaint from one citizen, who de-
clares he and his family were COM
PEELED to close every window and
door of their home one of the hot
test nights last week because of the
terrible odor. He writes:
1.-THE smoke has a most horrible
odor; in fact, it is strong enough to
suffocate. We do not mind the
burning trash pile when the wind
blows the smoke in the other direc-
ton, but when it blows our way.
we've either got to grin and bear it.
or leave the neighborhood. In adj
dition to being dangerous to health
and unsightly at all times, thcI
dump has caused property values
to decrease We arc taxpayers and
the city should afford us better pro-
lection
The City Council should give this
matter immediate attention, but
before taking any action commit
tee should be appointed to investi-
gate the complaint If this is done
the citizens can depend upon relief
for 1t is said that even the mos
quitoes cannot stand the oodor.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
One Buebear OF Family Life.

The. thing ! just hate about being
at home" said young business wom-
an. is that you never have anything
of your own at home. Everything
seems to belong to the whole fam.
lily"
It is unfortunate that In many fam
lilies that the members are not
taught to respect each others prop
erty or privacy. It adds to every day
annoyance and irritations to have
some one else write with your per-
sonal pen and spoil its point, or some
one else to borrow your new kimono,
or your last envelope. Just when you
need 1t yourself. 3C @R
Family life would lose many OF It's
bugbears If children In early life were
taught to respect each others private
belongings. II the home Is to be-
CHEEKY, pleasant and altogether worth
while there must be some restraint
put on the sense of common property.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
Plav Bali


Acting Mayor w. p Greaney, in
the absence Of Mayor George Par
sons, has Issued an official procla-
nation, requesting the heads of
business houses in the city to close
their stores and offices between the
hours of and o'clock this after
noon in order that they and their
employees will be able to attend the
opening game Of the Kitty League
season.
Some of the most enthusiastic
fans in Cairo are heads of big
business houses. Taking this into
consideration, 1t is almost safe to
predict that the proclamation will
be generally observed, and 1t should
be.
What would Cairo be without a
baseball team? Answer: 1t would
be dead. Baseball is absolutely
essential in this age. If Cairo did
not possess membership in the Kitty
League, the fans" would leave go
elsewhere to take in games. There
are some enthusiasts who would
rather sit out in the scorching sun
and watch well-contested baseball
game than roll in luxury. If you
will take in few games, the fever
Is bound to get you, because no
sport-loving American can resist
the game.
If you are the head of a Cairo
business house, observe Acting
Mayor Greaney's proclamation, 1t
will not be necessary to insist upon
your employees attending the open
ing game. They have been count
ing on 1t for weeks.
Cairo always has been one of the
best baseball towns on the Kitty
League circuit and it is going to
continue as such With a good team
and the good management of Man
ager Pace, 1t is safe to predict that
this years attendance will exceed
all previous records.
Cairo simply MUST make a show
ing at todays game. DO your share,
because In doing for Cairo, you win
be doing for yourself Get together
and give the Paducah team some
thing to talk about when the mem
bers return home.
If you have an automobile, join
the parade at the foot of Washing
ton avenue at las p. m. If you
haven't any automobile, grab the
most convenient street car. When
you get there, root to beat the band
Then the season will be open.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
If WOMEN ONLY KNEW.
What Heap of Happiness 1t Would
Bring to Cairo Homes.
Respectfully,
LONG SUFFERER.

What Heap of Happiness 1t Would
Bring to Cairo Homes.
Hard to do homework with an
aching back.
Brings you hours of misery at
leisure or at work.
If women only knew the cause
that
Backache pains often come from
weak kidneys,
'Twould save much needless woe.
Doan's Kidney Pills are for weak
kidneys.
Many residents Of this vicinity en-
dorse them
Mrs. John Brandt, Main St,
Mound City, Ill, says: "In April
1907, publicly recommended Doan'A
Kidney Pills and lat this time I
gladly confirm my former statement,
For many years | suffered from at
tacks of backache had pains
through my loins and sides at night
my condition was 50 bad that / could
not sleep. often | had to get up I'M
till the pain moderated, In the
morning | arose feeling tired and
depressed and knew that something
must be done. Hearing of the bene-
fit other persons had obtained from
the use of Doan's Kidney Pills, !
soon gave the relief. Several times
since then | have taken Doan's Kid
ney Pills and they have never failed
TO benefit me-" For sale by all
dealers. Price soc. Foster-Milburn
Co, Buffalo, New York, sole agents
for the United States.
Remember the name---Doan's---
and take no other.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
BY GEORGE FITCH.
Author OF "A Good Old Siwash."

Salt Lake City is a lonely little
town in the midst of vast empire
L'of salt, sand and sagebrush 1t
has only $4,000 people, which is
less than Camden or Cambridge or
Reading or Meirut or Yekateremos-
Law or Nagpur or Bridgeport or
Helsingfors. Yet it is much easie.
to find Salt Lake City on the map
or in the encyclopedia or in the
headlines than it is to locate these
larger places Salt Lake City has
enough fame TO supply the average
city of 100000 and it would willing
ly give away about 20 per cent of 1t.
Salt Lake City was established
by the Mormons for the free and
unlimited coinage of families and
for many years it had more wives
and less husbands than any town
west of Turkey, Prominent citizens
keep track of their children by a.
phabetical index and the man who
couldn't maintain kindergarten
or day nursery all by himself was
considered unpatriotic and did not
presume to run for office. The gov
eminent has changed all this and
Salt Lake wives now have individ-
ual husbands. But the same old
fame still sticks to the town and
the. average tourist is loudly disap-
pointed because he sees no fine old
Mormon elder taking his wife out
for an airing in three motor buses.
Salt Lake City is also famous for
the lake from whihc 1t was named.
This lake is one of the wonders OF
the world. 1t is 80 miles long and
so salty that only goldfish can live
in It, Thousands of tourists batho
in it annually and proudly carry off
little deposits of salt behind their
ears to show to the loved ones az
home.
Salt Lake City is the home of the
Copyright, 1912. by G
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28

At an artists club In London they
tel the following touching an en-
inent portrait painter of American
birth: During the days when this
portraitist was just beginning to
"tind himself one of his patrons was
a social leader, who, ms her portrait
progressed, professed to be quite sat
isfled with the outlook, She had but
one criticism TO offer. The mouth
is trifle too large" said she. please
make 1t small and curved, OF course,
/ am quite aware that in reality 1t is
a straight, long mouth; but In this
portrait | should like, IL you see no
objection, to have IL very tiny.
Not the least objection, madame.
so far as | am concerned" said the
painter, with no trace OF sarcasm In
his tone. I'm leave 1t out altogether
IL you wish. "-Harper's Weekly.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28

deodorized Mormon church and is
proud of its great temple and its
vast Tabernacle whose acoustics are
so acute that if an Englishman
drops an CIR in one end of the hall.
people $50 feet away in the other
end can hear it bounce. 1t is also
proud of its wholesale houses, IFS
new and vast hotels, its streets
which are nayigable in the cutters
and so wide that hurried people take
taxicabs to cross them, its Alma
club OF millionaires, its mountain
ranges which edge up into the out
lying wards aud supply free scenery
at all times of the year, the great
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28

Dear Editor:
Your paper having for many
years advocated and inaugurated
many reforms for the beterment OF
our city, / would like to enlist your
valuable assistance in correcting
one of the most fragrant nuisances
with which. the citizens Of Cairo
are now afflicted, l refer to the
aggravating use of "cut outs on au-
tomobiles in this city,
While | am not an owner, | have
made diligent inquiry of owners and
repair men and all advise me that
the ''cut out" is of no earthly use
on any ear and should be eliminated
so far as any benefit is concerned
in the operation of any machine.
The owner of any automobile or
truck that will drive same through
our streets at all hours of day and
night with his "cut out" open can
rightfully be termed Human
Hog and should be prosecuted to
the full limit of the law, for he is
devoid of all sense of decency or re-
gard for the feelings and comforts
of others and no punishment could
be too severe for such pest"
Think of the poor tired mothers
who have worked hours and hours
with sick baby and by midnight,
has succeeded in getting the little
one to sleep and just as she lays 1t
down thinking that she too, can get
little rest, to have it rudely
awakened by some human hog
rushing through the street with his
"cut out wide open, not only pre-
venting the rest and comfort OF
those i'll; but arousing every one
else for many blocks and creating
in the breast of every one thus
aroused a desire to get a gun and
blow off this "human hog's'' head
and what a blessing it would be, t!
some such pests" could be made to
fealize by most stringent punish
ment, that they can not utterly dis
regard the rights Of others by the
bombardment or such awful noises
throughout the midnight hours. A
few days ago, | saw an article in
your paper stating the Cairo Auto
mobile Club is interesting them
selves in certain legislation for the
betterment Of their members rights,
why can not the officers OF this Or
ganization interest themselves in The
correction OF the evil OF which
now complain and which is con
stantly creating feelings of antag-
onism in this city?
Many owners in this city drive
quietly and noiselessly through the
streets and command the respect
and admiration of all citizens for
| their regard for the feelings OF
others: but other owners or drivers
by their reckless disregard for the
lives or comfort Of men. women and
children cause the same feeling .oi
antagonism to operate against tbs
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
When Three Were No Crowd.

According to an English actor, this
happened In q small theater In q small
town In provincial England, where a
troupe of transformers was playing
to meager audiences.
The villain dragged the shrinking
heroine down stage to the footlights
and In her ear he Kissed:
Are We alone?"
mo, gov'nor," Interrupted the lone
occupant of the gallery-"not tonight
you amt: but you will be tomorrow
night. Philadelphia Saturday Even
ing Post
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
Improving His Looks,

Bacon-Besides the usual burglar
alarms that protect bank vaults, q
snapshot camera has been introduced.
Automatically 1t will take the bur-
glars picture as he looked while in
the act.
Egbert--What's the matter with
having a monograph attachment ask.
ing him to look pleasant?
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
FIGHTING FOR PEACE.

What would not. Peace, the pa
triot bear for thee?
What painful patience? What
.incessant care?
What mixed anxiety What
sleepless toll?
Fen from the rash protected,
what reproach?
For he thy value knows, thy
friendship he
To human nature, but the better
thou.
The richer Of delight, sometimes
the more
Inevitable war. when ruffian
force
Awakes the fury of an injured
state;
Fen thu good patient man whom
reason rules.
Reused by bold insult and In
furious rage.
With sharp and sudden check
the astonfshed sons
OF violence confounds. firm as
his cause
His bolder heart, in awful Jus
tice clad,
His eyes effulging peculiar fire.
And as he charges through the
PROSTATE war
His keen arm teaches faithless
men no more
To dare the sacred vengeance Of
the Just.
Thomson.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
What TIqer.

One of the animals came up to be
named. .'Er-tiger@ announced
Adam.
princeton, Tammany or Detroit?
clamored the reporters. who were, Oh
course. present.
Whereupon the first father perceived
that he had q task of delicacy cut out
out for him.--Puck.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
Energetic Appeal,

THE violent argument you use ia
no argument" said young Mr., Noah
Heep.
NO." replied Uncle Raspberry. Hit
tin mule wifi fence rail ain no
Argument, nuther, but 1t gifts action"
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
Seven Pounds Of Tocthache.

A keeper, who was attracted the
other day by trumpetings and loud
roarings from the elephant cage In q
menagerie at Woodbridge, England,
found one of the elephants in an
agony Of toothache He was unable
TO relieve II, and later beard thud
on the floor. 1t was found that the
elephant had cast tooth Weighing,
1t is stated, about seven pounds.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
The Public Dunn Nuisance

Citizens residing near the west
end of Third street have prepared
petition requestion the mayor and
the city council to bring about the
elimination of the public refuse dump
at that point. The vast pile of rub
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
Revenge.

Say, alderman, wish you'd get me
a Job as dog catcher"
Are you out of work."
mo; but I'll quit the work I'm doing
new II you'll get me that job a,
~"Ever had any experience. I've got
the incentive--I'm q letter.carrler. -
Chicago Tribune
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
How They Love ISL

Funnier than all the comedies in
New York are the imported western
and middle western dramatic critics
before they have had an opportunity
to learn the subject Of their essays
New York Telegraph.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28

thing last night"
"How was that?" III
"Just as the doctor was pleading for
a peep at my eyes papa came In and
asked him to take look at my ton
sils."
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
Not Satisfied.

WELL" said the sBillville neighbor,
Il reckon your John is satisfied, now
that he's safe In congress"
NO" said the old lady. Just as
soon as he gifts his shoes polished,
puts on billed shirt an takes a ride
in oftermobile he'll wonder why 1t
didn't occur to him to run for presi.
dent"
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
STYLES In Ailments,

well, hero | am" announced the
fashionable physician In his breezy
way. And now what do you think Is
the matter with you?"
Doctor. hardly know" replied the
fashionable patient What is new?"
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28

Now, Willie, promise me you won't
fight any more"
Cant you wait till tomorrow,
mother? I've only got one more boy
to lick an then I'll be through. Life.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28

years to learn that / couldn't write
poetry.
Friend-Gave II up then, did you?
Scribbler-Oh. no. BY that time
had q reputation-Puck.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
An Unusual Order.

Johnnie. do you wish the etork
would bring In something?"
you bet | do"
"A brother or a sister,"
Neither; ketcher's mitt"
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
a Man 10 "a AunIdad.

"Harduppe makes me think OF q
busy bee"
industrious, is he?"
'Oh, not in that way-nearly every
one he touches gets stung"
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
Unnecessary,

Gruff Customer docking up from
the menu card)-Have you brains?
Timid Waitress (conflsed) Mo sir
That's the reason I'm working acre.
Judge. .J..a
- ia ~'S
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
Popular Subjects,

When two men meet upon the street
IT'S puzsling to say whether
They'll plunge right into politics,
Or talk about the weather.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28

marble homes of its mining kings.
its territory 1000 miles square Of
which it is the metropolis, and
Maude Adams, which the city still
regards as its principal export, in
spite of its big shelters and its fac
tory district
Salt Lake City does not bulge the
international census figures out of
shape, but very few people overlook
it while travelling west of Omaha,
and it is original in history, de-
sign and politics.
,rge Mathew Adams
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28

when the attention Of The xul.
ktin ID called to any nisshtemeni
II fact or to any error sonser1ing
any man or thing, corrections will
,sheerfully b mads.)
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
Letters From the People

The Bulletin is pleased to al
low space in this column to
readers who wish to discuss
matters of public interest, but
distinctly disclaims responsible.
ity for views expressed in such
discussion.
All communications to this
department must be written
only on one side Of the paper.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28

Mrs. Hunter Howes-Gracious
there's no room in these apartments
for children.
Agent-Oh, yes: there is. You put
the children In this collapsible cage
and hang 1t out Of the window.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28
First Rate Cutsine-

who's sent to Sing Sing should not wear
A doleful mood.
We understand the cooking there
is very good.
The Cairo bulletin., 1912-05-28

Copyright, 1912, by Gorge Mathew Adams)
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1912-04-11
MORTIMER VALLEY. /

Mr.. and Mrs. James Mortimer will
move back on their farm this week.
Russell Hiccock has been working a
few days for Fl. G. Harvey.
Walter and Harry Bradley went to
Wonewoc Saturday to bring some
household goods for Erwin Bradley
and Mrs. George Bradley who have
been living in Madison but will now
reside on the George Bradley farm.
Mr.. and Mrs. Arthur Glbeaut are
moving on one of Bert Mortimer's
farms this week.
Mrs. Bert Mortimer and son, Herbert,
attended the Robertson sale, Saturday,
and called at the Messing home.
Oscar Shore and family spent part
of Sunday at the home of his father,
William Shore.
Bert Mortimer purchased two cows
Of Blaine Snyder and two of Noah
Mortimer.
Ed. Mortimer was in Wonewoc Sat
urday.
Mrs. Murdoch is at the home of hel
daughter, Mrs. James Mortimer.
II. 6. Harvey has been grinding
feed for some of his neighbors during
the bad roads.
Miss Tressie Mortimer is employed
! at the home of her brother, Nate.
Eddie Bradley has hired out for one
month to James Mortimer.
Bert Mortimer took dinner at the
Messing home Monday.
Miss Iva Shores school has closed.
David Bradley is helping his broth
er, Harry.
Mrs. Jardot, who has been i'll, il
now gaining.
Miss Agnes Jardot passed through
this valley Sunday on her way to hel
school.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1912-04-11
MIRROR LAKE.

Mr.. and Mrs. Osiah Manning of
Fern Dell visited Mr.. and Mrs. John
RhInehart Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Marion Risiey spent
Easter with their sons Henry Risley,
and family.
Mr.. and Mrs. Joe GoIding were XII
bourn callers Saturday.
Blue birds, robins, fish and mud
turtles are sure signs Of spring.
The Excelsior Lyceum gave pro-
gram at the school, Dist. No. 8, FIJI
dly night. A debate "Should we
have consolidated schools in SSauk
county," was given by Ida Lawrenz
and Mary Simpson carried the affirme-
tive and Alvin Claridge and Emmett
Reynolds the negative. The affirma-
tive won the decision although it was
hard test for the judges as both sides
did well. This is the last literary
The next will be a social at George
Hengstler'S Friday, April 26, for mem.
bers of the Lyceum only.
John Dankert, Jr., John Rhinehart,
AdOlph Lombard and S. Hammer
meister were callers in Kilbourn Sat
urday.
Mr.. and Mrs. VIM. Leissmann, Sr.,
of Reedsburg and Mr.. and Mrs. w.
Leissmann and son of Chicago were
callers at Fred Leissmann's Monday
of last week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Joe GOlding have pur-
chased new photograph.
Mrs. q. Hammermeister is able to be
up and around.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1912-04-11
SAUK CITY.

Mr.. and Mrs. Samuel Meyer of Bah
cock spent from Friday until Monday
at the home of his brother, Jacob
Meyer, of this city. They went from
here to Middleton, for visit at the
Gottfried Smalley home before return
ing to Babcock.
Miss Juanita Post, who attends ST.
Mary's Academy at Edgewood, spent
several days with her parents, Mr.. and
Mrs. P. j. r. Post.
Richard and Walter Ziemke visited
several days last week with their
brother, Louis, in Chicago. The latter
attends the Northwestern Dental
College in that city.
Mrs. Herman Doerr and son, Julius,
returned to their home in Beraboo af-
ter spending the past week with her
parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Adrian Becker
Charles Steidtman of this city and
Edwin Steidtman of Sumpter are in
Prairie du Chem since Monday for
treatment at the sanitarium.
School started Monday after weeks
vacation.
The "Freie Gemeinde" Ladies' Aid
society of this city served a 6 o'clock
banquet at the Park Hall Wednesday
evening in honor of the twenty fifth
anniversary of their organization.
About seventy-five were in attendance.
Mr.. and Mrs. Conrad Jaeger and
grandsons, Marcus and Willie Shorer,
spent from Saturday until Wednesday
with DR.. and Mrs. Bossard at Spring
Green.
Misses Henrietta Kabot, Mary Nor
ris and Nellie Welsch, teachers in the
public schools of this city, spent their
Easter vacation at their respective
homes in Watertown, Spring Green
and Ripon.
Among those from away who att n
ded the twenty-fifth anniversary OF the
"Freie Gemeinie" Ladies AID society
were: MIS-. Andrew Sprecn. .ud son,
Waldo, AMI Mrs. LOUISA Lohmar of
Milwaukee; Mr.. ami MIS-. Alex. Fer
Der, Mr.. and Mrs. Henry Ferner and
Mrs. Ed. Sellers Of West Ais; VI Iss
Minnie E> chenbacA of ADleman; Mrs.
Richard Barry and daughter, Linda,
# Merrimack; Gail Mfr, r chard
MeIkel and Carl Groto ,hurst Madi-
on; Mr.. and Mrs. Frank X, senUaunp,
Henry Grotophorst and Ferdinand
Keller of Honey Greek.