The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-08-02
A Bouquet of SunflOwers
(By Tom McNeal)

ern Kansas range An attractive
eastern young lady came out to visit
friends in Dodge City, and was per
suaded to stay through the winter
and teach O. school near town, A
young, vlrile, but not highly educated
cowboy met the school teacher and
became enamored with her. He fin.
ally got his courage up to the point
where he asked II he might call or
her and was granted permission
When 1t came to showdown, how
ever, Bill saw that he was plainly
outclassed The pretty schol teach
er talked about books that Bill had
never heard of, much less seen. He
was somewhat familiar with the
Deadwood Dick style of literature
but the young woman showed no in
terest in that, and on the whole Bill
spent a perspiring and not altogeth-
er comfortable evening. He was not
the sort of man, however, to give
up without struggle. He had a
friend who was quite a scholar and
to him he went for advice He said,
"You know Miss --' what's herd
in this bunch of two-legged little
mavricks out at the school house next
to town." yes" well, in my
opinion that is the likeliest heifer
that ever came onto this range. I'm
all gone on her and not ashamed to
own it, but she is too many for me
when it comes to a talkfest.
was over to call on her and she
opened up on the book game. !
found out in less than minute that
I didn't hold nothin. | hadn't a
white chip left after the first round.
She set there and talked about books
that | never knew existed and asked
me questions that put me out for
the count. For instance, she asked
me II | liked John Millions works.
| thought mebby she was referrin' to
that Milton who runs ranch down
on Crooked creek. told her
that couldn't say that | was on in
innate terms with Milton, had heard
of him a number Of times, but nobody
ever accused him so far as | knowed
of workin' any, that he might meb-
by when there wasn't nobody else
to do 1t and that | couldn't say that
| blamed him none for not workin'
more tan was necessary.
well, | see by her looks that |
was off on what was trump, but /
didn't know just how. Then she
asked me If was familiar with
Shakespeare, and concluded that
would hedge and play safe, and
said that | couldn't say that | was
familiar with him, but 1t seemed like
I had heard of him, and those who
had seen him, and made his acquaint
ance all spoke we'll of him. And then
she, tryin' | guess to let me down
as easy as she could, said that pos
sibly didn't catch her question. She
said she was referring to the party
who wrote the plays of Shakespeare
and who had been dead some three
hundred years. 1t was just like that
all the evenin. 1t wasn't very
warm evenin', but | must sweat
at least a quart durin' them two
hours. Now what | want is some
instructions in this here literary
game, so that when call for cards
will know what I'm drawing to.
Tell me somethin' about some book
that Is standard and I'll try to alb
Horb It,"
well" said the friend, there is
the Bible. That is standard and be-
sides If you make the young lady be-
lieye that you are familiar with the
Bible know that 1t will please her
very much.
you may be right" said Bill,
"but the fact Is that | hain't been to
church since Heck was a pup, and
what little my mother taught me
when was little kid | hev clean
forgot. If you will tell me some
things that | can hand out to her
along the Bible line you'll sure do
me a plum favor.
WELL" said the literary friend,
there are a great many interestins
stories in the Bible. For instance,
there is that interesting story oil
Sampson"
What did he do?" asked Bill.
"Oh, he did good many things
For instance, he had trouble with the
Philistlnes, and on one occasion he
caught three hundred foxes. tied them
together by the tails and then set
fire to the bunch and turned them
loose in the growing grain of the
Philistines."
Gee" said Bill, that was sure go
In some. What else did he do?"
"Why, he on one occasion took the
Jaw bone of an ass and with it slew
a thousand of these Phillstines."
Look here, pardner, that is draw
in it pretty strong. You say he took |
the jaw bone of the daddy of mule |
and cleaned up thousand of them
Filipinos?"
81 said Philistines, not Filipinos.
well, they sure must have been
eastern tenderfeet, all right" said |
Bill. "Howsumever, you all amt o |
kiddin me are your" That story is
sure enough in the Bible?"
Sure"
"Well, I'm sure obliged to you.
kind of think mebby | kin hold a |
little better hand the next time |
call"
Bill pOndered over the story as he
rode the range, and when he called |
on the school teacher he felt certain |
he had the story in substance If not
in the exact language.
The school teacher led off after the
preliminary observations about the
weather, by asking sweetly. "Mr. |
Williams, Civilians by the way was
not his name), what books are you
familiar with?"
We'll, Miss, CANT say that I'm
up on very much literatoor. &