Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-06
Copyright. 1911. by North American Pres,
S~yndicate.)

! tIIlIlk So.
Did you get my daughters fiddle"
Yes"
My son's monograph"
Yes"
MY wife's bridge outfit? ?"
eyes,
'Her tight skirt?'
my mothernlaw's parrot"
YES"
My daughters camera?'
Yes"
Well. then, call at my office tomor-
row morning and I'll give you $50. You
have done a good nights work"
"Right-o," replied the burglar as he
turned with his sack to climb out OF
the window.
Just q moment" said the household
er. Bring three or four pals tomorrow
night and take my daughters pianola
n IN double the reward"
~
YES. IT'S TINE.
To be prepared you'll find it pays,
Put on your heavy schedule KS.
NEW YORK.
New York nay not be the largest
city in he world. u 1t is certainly
n of the tallest. 1t is about twice
as tall as Detroit and 1t spreads out
over quite a bit of territory. reaching to
ANibs " MINUS vi AO ~ ASA ~
all directions. The population consists
of about 1000, 900 souls and 1,276 the
atrical managers. From h Metro
politan tower n can overlook the en-
tire city and one a to overlook quite
Il good deal in New York. too.
Broadway is a very nice street, so
called because OF the broad stories and
conversation that a person hears as
he passes to n fro. It is populated
almost exclusively by actors n bar
tenders.
New York's business streets are well
paved with brick asphalt. granite and
good Intentions. and there are some
very nice stores where nearly anything
that a person needs can be purchased.
New York also has daily newspaper
and perhaps more than one. The 5
O'Clock afternoon editions were late the
other day. They didn't get on the
street until nearly 1880 a. M.
New York also has q postoffice and
nearly all trains stop at N. Y. There
are several good churches. attended
exclusively by visitors in the city.
There is a good hack line and a per-
son can get a taxicab n minute Of
the day or night anywhere he wants
tin the neck. in the middle of the
a or between the cafe and the
grill.
tel. 1 stopped there three times yes
terday. 1t is a very nice hotel and 1t
looks perfectly respectable-a hotel in
fact where a man would feel entirely
safe in taking his wife and children.
Mrs. st. Regis is a very good cook and
cry Sunday. I haven't met Mr.. st.
Regis yet. They have clean napkins
and label cloths once q week and in
dividual towels in the washroom. 1t
is strictly up-to-date. having all mod
ern ~conveniences. including hot and
nnl6 Nafar o1octr{o 1{0h< onA n ho%h
tub.
have been collecting impressions
of the New York styles and find that
celluloid collars are not very popular
here. Almost nobody "a them but
the millionaires and the visitors from
also seem to be unpopular and I
haven't seen a pair OF earmuffs or
wristlets. Artics and yarn -mittens are
not much worn on Broadway or Fifth
enu
There are one or two good theaters
here and there is some sort of a show
almost every night. I asked a police
man at the corner Of Broadway and
Forty-second street about the popula-
tton of this town and he said the popu-
lation Was equally divided between
those who were writing musical COM
edies n those who were thinking Of
writing them.
Diner-Say. gal, where Is my chick
eng.
Waitress-she quit two weeks ~
FROM THE H1cKEYv1LLE
CLARION.
Hank Tumms ought to be about the
cleanest man in ~ village. His wife
keeps him in hot water all the time.
Hank Tumms u in trainin' out on
h fair grounds track. He expects
to run for road commissioner. Hold
Peters says. next to bein' ornery palll
bearer at some funeral, he would
rather be Moor manager at some dance
than anything else.
Doc Hanks says Elder Stubs has
got the shingles. BY ginger, now
would be a good time to put q new
roof on the meetin' house. A Teller
down to the Rapids tried to bunco
Elmer Jones. Elmer was wanting to
sell him q 22-p0und for $500. Ell
mer said he could get Q 60-opund one
Q durn sight cheaper than that right
to hum. That was one slicker that got
left. all right.
Old Man Purdy says Q chocolate
Sunday must be a durn religious
drink. Hank Tumms was put driving
last week. He drove a 40-foot well for
Anse juds0n. Grandpa Bibbins found
y trial bottle OF Doc Hanks tonic in his
Mhiskcrs this week. He had missed 1t
since early last fall. The funk game
IN the back room Of the drug store
lasted nearly all night Thursday. II
home until 8 o'clock.
A one-horse grocery store or q one
horse barber shop 10 all right. but
Amos Butts say q one-horse livery
stable I much good, especially when
there Is q funeral. Miss Amy Stubbs