Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-11-29

before At times l was terrified lest
she suspected that I was a gentleman,
but at others she ignored my pres
ence so completely that l felt assured
she was as much deceived as the
others, none OF whom paid any more
attention to me than If 1 had been a
waiter all my life, circumstance that
did not consider flattering.
l confessed that l enjoyed that
Christmas dinner very much. took in
all the good things that were said, and
there were number OF them, especial
ly Miss Phipps. who was remarkably
bright The only reason why should
have liked TO be one Of the circle was
that 1 envied her dinner companion.
l was about to take my departure,
regretting that could not assume my
own personality, join the party, tell
them what fun l had had in listening
to their chat and observing their man
ners, when Roger handed me some
glasses containing pousse cafe and
told me to take them into the COM
pany. l told him that l thought l
wouldn't go further with the freak, but
when he informed me that the hostess
had requested that bring in the liquor
l concluded that it would be better TO
obey the order, though wondered why
/ especially had been called upon. SO
took up the tray and proceeded to the
drawing room. l noticed as l entered
that most Of the guests were looking
at me. Mr.. Pepper, a genial man with
bald head and mutton chop whiskers,
beckoned me to set the tray on table
near which he was sitting and when I
had done so said to me:
IT understand from Roger that you
have waited on us to learn the busi-
ness. l wish TO say to you that you
are the best waiter have ever seen.
would like to engage you permanently"
There was a singular look in his
face when he said this, while the
guests ceased chattering and listened.
THANK you, SIR" l replied. You
are very good, sir. But don't think
I'm quite up to the work yet"
whats your Nance"
"Charles, sir"
"Do you know how to Dance
Charlesf"
Dance? No, sir.''
"Well l expect you'll have to try.
There are just fifteen of~6s, and we're
going to dance the lancers. We're just
one man short"
Every one arose, a couple of musi-
cians were called in, and the men
chose their partners. Miss Phipps was
the odd lady who was left out.
Had something occurred to reveal
| hod hat
short of a man to make up set and
noticing my respectable appearance.
called me in to help them out?
must wait and see. 1 marched up to
| Miss Phipps, made as awkward a bow
as could contrive and led her on to
the floor.
In order to carry out my part as
waiter ! made no end of mistakes. l
/ invariably at ''swlng corners" turned
to the wrong lady and In the grand
chain got the dancers all mixed up.
| For a time they refrained from laugh
ing at me, and l gathered confidence
that they were ignorant OF my identity.
This encouraged me to make more
blunders, and one by one they gave
way to laughter till the whole company
was In a roar. When the dance was
ended, with assumed confusion and
without taking my partner to a seat.
! was making for the door when the
host called out sternly: ....
"Charlesw :silsfwT'-
| "Yes SIR "a TO
"Where are you goingT
81 was going home, sir. I have
wife and seven small children weting
for me, sir"
The burst of laughter that followed
this excuse removed all doubt that l
was known for what / was. Miss
Phipps advanced and put out her hand.
"You are not very complimentary"
she said, having once made love to
me and then forgotten me-"
81 made love to your
"Yes-on the mimic stage. Some
years ago you took the part of butler
in private theatricals, and | played
housemaid. The byplay was between
us. you trying to win me from the
| coachman."
Then for the first time recalled
her. Since my prank was discovered
there was nothing to do but confess.
not permit me to decline an invitation
TO join them in what remained OF the
Christmas festivities l consented and
for the rest Of the evening found my
self the center of attraction. was
obliged to recount the circumstances
that led me to play the part Of waiter
at a Christmas dinner to every one
conversed with. Before the evening
was finished I voted 1t the Christmas
Of my life. made intimate friends Of
the host and hostess and retained the
acquaintance Of nearly all their guests
When the next Christmas came round
! had left my quarters at the club and
gone into house of my own. There
] entertained every one Of the diners
I had served the year BEFORE and the
hostess on the occasion was Mrs Lucy
Phipps. with mine for a third name.