Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-09-12
Copyright. 1911, by North American Pres.
Syndicate.)

SCPIlIl oOlAlCSOA1A6 SI1dl gill I 30 6llO I0 "
gently swaller that, lock. stock and
bar'l.
Apparently a lot OF good harvest
hands were spoiled this season to make
DOOR ball players.
A Teller that is very badly in love
never wears a ceuuloid collar or eats
onions.
So long as every Teller thinks his re-
ligion Is the best. what's the use in
starttn' anything in the way of an ar
gument?
Who ever heard Of a bride that wasn't
beautiful and accomplishment
1 never see a president of a railroad
or a trust magnet who had q reputa-
ton as a fine dancer.
IL; nix Tummtns says he is getting 80
skeptical lately that when anybody Of
fers to give him anything he always
onders is the matter with it.
There is only one thing as uncertain
In this world as a woman and that is
some other woman.
Rev. Hanks smelled whisky on Hold
Peters breath the other day and chided
him for drinking. Hod says the dom
1nie goes altogether too much on cir
cumstantial evidence.
Is vanity" The milliner amt looked
at Elmer since T. Egbert Peavy got
one of them new style soft with a
little bow In the back.
William Hilliker has reported to Con-
stable Ezra Hand that somebody has
picked the lock on the burglar proof
cheese case In his store and the con-
stable says the carnival of crime in this
community a got to stop.
A patriot Is a Teller that yells fer
the stars and stripes and then lodges
his taxes.
II it wasn't fer the collar buttons
and dresses that hook up the back
there wOll16 he h,if uory 1iff1o n~0-
family in the world outside the
livery stables.
A Teller that votes a party ticket al;
his life whether his party is right or
wrong may be loyal, but he is also a
darn foo.
1 never heered of a Teller that wore
q one-eyed monologue in his eye suf-
FERN from conclusion of the brain.
1t would be unimpossible.
A minister's life is not a path of
roses when you consider all of the poor
Sunday dinners he is Obliged to parti-
cipate In during the course Of a year.
There is quite a lot Of difference be-
tween a fool and a durn fool. The lat
ter will stay and raise the edge on a
pair OF treys.
Every Teller that learns how to run
a vacuum cleaner or an electric toaster
cry to run the Lusitania or the
twentieth Century Limited.
The railroad that runs by our place
IS SO rookie that the engineer kin
gossip with the passengers in the last
coach about half h time. The cow
mar sleeper the other day.
Nose glasses kin make a man who
mas been out all night look like a Hard
shell parson the next morning.
4 woman seldom has a reason for
DIN anything. particularly gettin' mar
ried.
There may be some men that don't
have a hobby of prescribin' remedies
for other folks ailments, but / amt
yet discovered one.
There was a Teller in our village the
other day with a collar and necktie
it is thought he must have been som
stranger from out of town.
The summer season is surely draw
Ing to a wane. Elmer Jones has be-
gun to save up to buy a Christmas
present for Miss Amy Pringle.
All men are born free and excl in
this country. Sure thing, but some
of them get to buyin books on the in
stallment plan.
About the ~pleasantest way 1 know
of to commit suicide is to go to a
summer resort hotel and starve to
death.
THESE MUST MAKE ANANIAs
JEALOUS.
Your luncheon. Mrs. Jones. vas the
most charming l ever attended,"
MY wife lets me smoke anywhere
I want to"
How we'll you are looking, my dear.
I was telling my husband just the other
day that you seem to be growing
younger every day. Few women do
that"
What a love of a gown. Myrtilla. It
looks at though 1t came from Paris
and fits o like a glove"
Never in my life. Hank. did a bill
collector call on me. None of that for
mine."
CANDIDATES FOR THE BOBBY
HATCH.
The young man who believes her
when h say he Is the only man she
ever kissed.
The elderly party who dyes his mus
tache and hair and thinks he Is fOoling
anybody.
The woman who thinks that she can
make a gown over and make any 9TH
er woman believe it is new
The gink who writes low letters to a
married Oma
The person who thinks he can get
ahead in his profession by crooking his
elbow over h polished mahogany.
Inc young woman VINO nus DO
urged to sing and her sings all night.
The b~arebrained galoot who expects
somehow or other to get something in
this world for nothing.
RAUS NIT 'EM.
Porch party conversation.
Anti-fat cures.
Collecting agencies.
Summer political campaigners.
Liquid butter.
Folks who own summer cottages.