The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1912-05-11
Decline and
Fall

said the young woman 8 Grandmother,
who had come on a visit. Il don't take
to him at ALI"
why, the ideal" exclaimed her
granddaughter in surprise. 'Mr. Jar
gers Is one of the most popular men
1 know! He's asked everywhere and
If he pays any attention to girl ev-
cry one takes her up. OF course he's
older than just a mere boy. but I'm
sure he Is we'll bred and entertaining
and"
He can be all that" interrupted
her relative, land even then sha'n't
want to welcome him as member OF
the family! It's because he reminds
me 30 of Artemus Milkins-I guess
you never heard of him. Artemus
was one of the best-looking young
men in two states and all the girls
were crazy about him. They were al
ways getting into quarrels over Arte-
mus, and they watched one another as
cats watch mice, waiting to see which
way they were going to jump, be-
cause they were so afraid they'd get
beaten out when it came to marrying
him.
"Artemus must have had wonderful
endurance and a constitutional disre-
gard for sleep, for otherwise he never
could have stood up under all the din
ners and dances and balls and other
frivolities to which he was asked.
Once when he had the grip and stay
ed away from a party it was just ruin
ed, for the girls all went home early.
There wasn't house in town where
the mother wasn't more than willing
to sit up nights finishing her daugh-
ter's new frock if Artemus was going
to take the girl anywhere.
Naturally, after a few years the
first crowd of girls gave up and mar
ried lesser lights, but there always
was a new crop of girls for Artemus
to be the idol of, and, tell you, they
burned incense!
He kept getting handsomer, too.
After a girl has been out ten years
she may be pretty and all that, but
she hasn't the charm of youth that is
SO fetching With man it is differ
emit A man keeps right on being
good-looking and popular and when
they begin calling him one of the
bachelors it really adds tone to him.
Fancy it's adding tone to girl when
they begin referring to her as one
of the older crowd!
Everybody wondered why Artemus
didn't marry and settle down, but l
knew 1t was because he was having
too good time. What's the use of ty-
ing yourself down to one slave when
you can just as well have twenty or
more?
We'll, for years and years Artemus
was our most popular bachelor an in
stitution, an aggravation, sighed-for
prize, an ornament to our parties. His
decline was very gradual and unno-
ticeable. / don't think any of US no
ticed 1t for a long time after Artemus
did. I presume when the tailor added
five inches to the girth of his new
dress suit waistband 1t made Artemus
sit up at last and take notice and
think.
when a man thinks he grows senti-
mental. Artemus decided 1t was time
for him to get married. He must
have enjoyed lining up the girls and
selecting the favored one, because he
picked out the youngest and prettiest
of that years debutantes and very
gently and kindly informed her that
she could marry him. You see, we
heard all about these things, because
nobody felt it breach of confidence
to talk about Artemus' doings.
1T must have been shock to Arte-
mus when 1nez failed to burst into
tears of Joy. Inez blushed and STAN
mered and said: No, thank you,' in a
scared way and then glided from him.
giggling. That night she told Tom
FIitt all about it as they sat in the
hammock. Tom said, Why, the old
Donkey and kissed her Indignantly.
"Artemus called next on Serena
Phipps. Serena was 20 and popular.
but inclined to be a highbrow. Arte-
mus remembered how she has looked
at him when she was Is and he re-
fected that possibly his GOODNESS had
driven her to economics and social re-
form. When he proposed to Serena
she regarded him as though he were
bug. Then she told him frankly
that she wouldn't marry him because
he wasn't her ideal of a man, and she
was no more In love with him than
she was with the weeping willow tree
outside, and would he please shut the
gate when he went out, so that the
dogs wouldn't trample the flower beds.
There were two after that, both
older than Serena. Artemus seemed
to decide that years might bring more
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