The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1912-04-02

well. sir" said Mr.. Dooley, IF /
lnew A way TO go about it I'd apollo
rIz4 to tn British parlymint. l Wud
20. I've done it an injustice. | al
Tvs thought iv it as a place where
English gintlemen whit to sleep off
+heir dinners an where there'd be
no more iv an openin' FIR a statesman
With a punch thin at a meeun Nv tn
directors iv the Home FIR Decayed
utlevom In other countries
m,rlyminthry govermint was carried
an in q way to me likin'. In France
uhin IN representatives iv that fine
people get together there's always a
rife members Whack each other with
r.rasols, tn speaker rings a bell an
klmps through a window, an tn
n.S mornin' all tn dep'tieS havln
s,nt their dyin' wurruds to tn news
pnpera. wrote their Wills, made ar
ranCements with tn undhertaker RI a
funral is tn sicond class, an laid in
d supply iv arnica an stickln' pias-
Their. are out on tn bicycle coorse
n.kin' away al each other with little
soorGs an horribly mutilatin' tn ris-
bands il their doolin' shirts. In Aus
three It's tn custom to open tn pro-
.4edin's with a hard right firm tn
leader IL tn deep centher on tn Jaw
il tn leader ~ tn exthreem left. Tn
Eytalian solon, as Hogan calls thin,
nuts on a woven steel vest before he
offers i resolution, while in our Owl
splendid gatherin' iV lnteilechOol
iovnts down in Pennsylvania
hnu often ARE tn grave delibera-
tons married an made inthreStn be
u ~dlScraccful scene whin some pa
Unite firm tn unny southland thries
10 catch tn eye iv the speaker or tn
.ar il tn house with tn stationery
moyiGed be a g%in'rous goyermint.
"Me talents as a DICTATOR Wud be
useful in amy iv these here aSSim-
flieS. HinniSsy, fr I'm as good a shot
as tn next man with an ink bottle,
an I've SO long sarved as an umpire
Fl earnest thruck dhrivers that I've
picked mp what We might call a good
Norkin' knowledge " parlymlnthry
language. But firm what L heerC
atout IN English parlymint l figured
out that il was no place f'r me-. Id
pick UP the pa-aper and read: Bal
-four gives Askith tn lie. Premier's
savage retort.' But Whin I'd square
mcsiIf away c~ontentedly fr an intel
lechool threat Id read that MiSthel
kaifour haVin' been nudgeu be a col
ldgue. slowly unbraided his legs
graiooly rose to his feet, smoOthet
hs hair. curled his m~ustache, put OF
ms ~eNeelaSs. an in "a voice rendheret
almost ~inaudible be passion said tina
much rs it panied him to speak a
amy time. he was more panied thil
NJ cud say be haNin' to speak in crltl
'sm. if he cud put it so fr lack i
a miIGcr Wurrud. " tn right h%on'rahl'
tIntlemen whose saryiceS in behalf |
In tmpire he Wud be tn last TO un
hhcreStinlate. but he (Mr. BalfOur
felt that tn crisis in tn affairs " tn
nation was such as to cOmpei plal
and aven brutal frankness, little a
ne felished it an he must declare. ]
II was with his dyin' breath. mat IN
non rabie gintleman was, he cud mn
y no other wurrud. incorrectly in
formed. Cloud opposition cries /
Ilucky wurruds, be CAD and hoars
scNermint murmurs iv Indignation.
"hfth4r tn usual recess FIR tea tt
nfIlne ministher leaped to his feet al
with his face CONFUSED be emotio
rtphed that he was hurt to tn hear
ht tn attack iv tn right h~On'rable gil
n"man who. much as he might dlft
with him on mattherS iv impery
policy, he eth prime ministher) rt
Farded him 9TH right hon'rable gil
ueman) highly as a man an "~"ret
waited his splindid sarvices to Il
lnpirc which he hoped Wud NEE
- Jocl ! Ill a. PhA>
Westninisther Abbey. Still, this W;
no time to place personalities befu1
PRINCIPLES or tn tenderness iv frint
ShlD befure tn NECESSITIES iv Britai
an at tn, risk iv shockin' his heare
ne Wud say With shame an" stern so
fpW an ony because tn fate iv t
lmpire was thremblin' in tn balan'
al IN another moment if he hesita
20 al Wud be lost. he u say tn
IN night hon rabfe Gintleman@'
III Speaker Cindignantly)-Is
rleht non -ble Gentleman aware tn
II is row two minyits past tea time
IN fnuf1rS ARE burnin'. | car Sm'
'hlm. Cries Of 'Privilege.)
"Th' Prime Ministher Gin gpeat di
btSs)-l apologize to tn house.
nope 1t IS not too late to repair t
pluhdher. ] move tn uSual recess
prolonged to an hour. tCheers.)
ON tn resump tiOn iv tn sitting I
bF1n.e mlDlSther concluded his nh