davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09

At the White Tables.-A gentleman
Gently and was fortunate enough to
secure an invitation to dine in one of
the great and fashionable houses on
upper Fifth avenue. 1t was to be a
large dinner with many tables. each
one of which was known by the color
of it's decorations. AS the visitor en-
tered the house the butler inquired
his name and then handed him a card
saying:
You are to be at the white table,
sir!"
Good gracious!" exclaimed the
western man, ARE there to be mig
gers ?"-New York Herald.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09

Hoaxed the Naturalist.-One of the
most remarkable books ever publish
ed is the photographic Wirceburgen-
sis," written by a Wurzburg natur-
alist named Behringer in 1925. Prob
ably very few copies are in exist
ence, as the author destroyed all that
he could get possession Of soon after
the book appeared. He had been VIC
timized by some practical jokers who
had made a great variety of "arti-
fetal fossils" and hidden them In a
quarry, to which they then enticed
the professor Behringer was over
joyed by so rich a find and had no
suspicion of the trick, although many
of the fossils were Of very grotesque
character. He took his treasures
home, made elaborate drawings OF
them and wrote a minute description
Of each, as we'll as an exhaustive
commentary filled with ingenious
plausible theories. When he had
published the book the jokers con-
fessed. and then, of course, the pro-
fessor did his utmost to suppress the
work.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09

WHAT" cried the fairy. "She says
she has nothing to wear? Then IFS
ten to me-" And solemnly waving his
wand he chanted
Her beautiful dresses
Shall vanish at once.
In matters Of taste
l decree her a Ounce.
She says she has nothing
And so / declare
That she shall have less now
Than nothing to wear
And that was how the terrible
curse of the hobble skirt was laid upon
the land.-New York Sun.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09
JOKES FROM THE RECORD.
Congressman Heflin illustrates Speech
With Funny Stories.

With Funny Stories.
When one of our northern friends
was down in Mississippi talking to a
southern farmer he said: why don't
you people teach the monkeys to pick
cotton? The little nimble fingered fell
lows would run around the stalks and
pick out the fluffy stuff and throw it
in the baskets. Yes" said the farm
er, that's right; but we wouldn't
more than get 'em organized before
you burned Yankees would come down
A teacher once asked a boy this
Question: IF there are twelve sheep
in a pen and seven of them jump out,
how many sheep will be left?" The
boy scratched his head and was si-
lent. The teacher said Cant you
figure? There would be five left, would
there not?" The boy said: No, sir;
there would not be any left" The
teacher said: Why, there would GER
tainly be five left in the pen" The boy
said: Professor, you may understand
arithmetic, but you don't understand
sheep" daughter and applause.)
l am reminded of the story of old
Uncle Johnny. His friend said: I'm
Gle Johnny, they are going to build
railroad through this settlement" and
Uncle Johnny said, My judgment is
they will never build it." But his friend
said. They are surveying now just a
few miles from here" Then Uncle
Johnny observed: There is sight
'of difference between road surveying
and road building"
Well" said his friend, they are
digging dirt over on the hill now,"
and Uncle Johnny replied, Dirt dig
ging and road completing are two pow
erful different propositions" Laugh
teri Finally his friend said. Uncle
Johnny. they have got the road done;
they have completed the track and
the train has arrived; the engine Is
out there on the track now; go and
look at it," Uncle Johnny went out
and looked at it: cold and lifeleSs the
engine stood; and when asked, What
do you think of it now, Uncle Johnny"
he said, They'll never bulge 'er."
Laughter Why" he says, Il don't
see any traces or singletrees, and be-
sides that. it amt fit track for mules,
no how" Why" his friend said, 'they
are going to run it with steam. They
will unite the forces of wood and water
and fire and send it down the track
pulsing like a thing of life" Uncle
Johnny said, They'll never bulge her."
Laughter Finally, when they warm
ed her up, she went down the track,
whistles blowing and sparks flying.
Well" Uncle Johnny, said the man.
What do you say now?" And he re-
piled. BY golly, they'll never stop her"
daughter and applause.l
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09

The Limit.-Jack Bradley, an Atch-
ison travelling man, is clever ventrilo-
quist The other day at Denton,
Bradley had Forrest Warran, an Atch-
ison Globe representative, chasing up
and down the street and through al
leys looking for a supposed farmer
who kept up continual calls for the
Globe man. When the farmer said
Il want to pay him five years sub
scription," Warran broke down the
door in William Gillan's store in his
search for the mythical voice.-Kan-
sas City Journal
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09
By Making a Club for
The Yorkville Enquirer
ATTRACTIVE CONTEST
OPEN TO EVERYBODY
Cabinet Organ, Sets of Bed Room
Furniture, Steel Ranges and Cook
ing Stoves Included Among Com
petitive Premiums.

WITH RECORD OF FIETYsX YEARS BEHIND IT. THE YORK,
THIS PART OF SOUTH CAROLINA AS CLEAN RELIABLE EMTEE-
IN THE WORK OF RENEWING
EXPLANATION OF THE CLUB OFFERS
p.
delivered without unnecessary delay
whether Old
names h is o
months clubs returned and paid
ductOn for the six
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09
GUERNSEYS

WE have a few to sell, and now Is
w your chance to buy and start
right with thoroughbred stock. Our
herd of Guernseys is headed by Dan
of Oakwood, No. 1869, out Of Gold
en- Lad and the celebrated KY. Beauty.
Also a number Of Grades for less price.
Our Berkshires are full, and Register
ed Boar, Pinehurst Col, took 1st prize
at State Fair, 1910, over all l and 2
year olds. We have all kinds and sizes
at moderate price.
We want 20 or more customers for
Milk and Cream.
J. MEEK BURNS.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09
In Bsethoven's House.-Reginald De

IN 6eetnoVenS nouSe.-t|eSIldlu be
Koven told at a musicale in Chicago
a pretty story in praise of modesty.
"A group of tourists" he said, wis
tied. in Bonn, Beethoven's house. One
of the tourists, a girl of 20 years or
so, sat down at Beethovens piano and
played the Moonlight Sonata none
too well. Beethovens own work, in
his own room, on his own piano!
When the girl had finished she rose
and said TO the old caretaker:
~ suppose lots of famous musi-
clans have been here and played on
this Instrument
We'll, Miss the caretaker answer
ed gravely: 'Paderewski was here last
year, and his friends urged him to
play, but he shook his head and said:
mo, l am not worthy"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09

Enduring Sentiment.-"This." COM
mented the prodigal son, as he sat
at the head of the table and gazed
around at the assembled family, who
were rejoicing over his return; this
is about the toughest veal ever tried
to eat"
We'll. we thought you'd like lit
tie touch of sentiment" said his
happy father.
"That is the calf you used to play
with before you ran away twenty
years ago"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09
IT'S HARD TO work
When Suffering From Kidney Ills.
Many YorkviIle People Find This
to Bc True.

10 oS IINO'
Nothing so hard as a days work
with an aching back
Every sudden twist or turn brings
sharp "stabs' of pain.
There Is no peace from the dull
ache
No rest from the soreness, lame
ness and WEAKNESS.
You can't reach the cause too soon.
Neglect is often fatal.
Sick kidneys need prompt atten-
ton.
Begin using Doan's Kidney Pills at
once
A tested and proven kidney remedy.
Yorkville readers should find fresh
courage in the following statement:
R. ]. Herndon, Main ST., Yorkville,
S. c. says: "Doans Kidney Pills,
which l got at the York drug store,
certainly helped me and 1 am glad
to recommend them. Often my back
felt weak and 1 had lumbago. Doan's
Kidney Pills gave me immediate and
complete relief from these troubles"
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-Doan's-an
take no other.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09
TEACHERS EXAMINATION.
Office of Superintendent Of Education
for York County.

Yorkville, S. c., Dec. II, 1911.
PURSUANT to instructions from
i the State Superintendent of Edu-
cation, notice Is hereby given that q
Special Extra Examination OF Appn-
cants for Certificates to Teach in the
Public Schools will be held in the
Court House at Yorkville, on FRIDAY.
JANUARY 12, 1912. The reason for
this extra examination Is the unusu-
ally large number Of applications made
by teachers to the State Board Of Ed
ucation at its meeting on December 4.
]. WARREN QUINN,
Supt. of Education for York County.
80 I'd
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09
THE COMPETITIVE PREMIUMS

awarded the Clubmakers
Third
be in forth below:
finished Is
double
and ocves with four
Furniture Co. for $500
double 21x42 pulls and plate
ornamened with
price sig co. and be seen on ex
hbition the Carroll Furniture Co.
spiece suit of Golden Oak Furniture
finished
IL panel
golden finished double
$4,000 OF the
FOURTH Steel Range with six hole top ana
highly nicked finish
Price
Carroll Furniture Company
Machine highly polished
all
breaks reason
PERIOD The
$4,000
x3O
Roll and
G. H. OLeary the
is $4,000
Cooking Of the best
Complete with thirty or May be
H. oLeary, where the price is $500
Stove with 1Snch
complete with all and sold by
Furniture Company for $3.50
Observation-Disclosures Harness complete Sold by G. H.
q Taarv bO
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09
FARMS FOR RENT.
FOR SALE

For Rent-A 2-horse farm and also
a 1-horse farm at Guthriesville. See
me at once. Good Level land
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09
OTHER PREMIUMS

a also
the following number
stlograph Fountain Pen; handsome Three
subscp-
tion o Progressive Farmer
Pen O a Baded Pocket Knife
Hamilton
e a 22-sing Zthern
Triumph" Watch,
subscription ENQUIRER No
Gold Mounted Fountain
Violin.
Rifle, 0-oz
Loading Shot
o following Single
Hopkins Alen
=
fine Mandol a
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09
TOWNSHIP PREMIUMS

townships returning pay
LaR Clubmaker In his
premiums
pays In
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-01-09
TERMS AND CONDITIONS

BEGINS NOW will close SATURDAY.
at O'CLOCK p. NJ, SHARP.
individually responsible for the payment Of
the
a the Clubmaker
full discontinued The Cubmakr
Is
the original entered
o
competition premium until the SUBJ
premium delivered until the
Club
creding
the for one
will permit
attempt make
The Clubmake who
called especially
the
give
forwarded sending
transmission
In initials
this will be Of avoiding
WEEKS
be alow for he working the
l.. M. CRISIS SONS, Publishers,
Yorkville, South Carolina
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1912-05-23
ENTERTAINMENT.
President Of Emerson College Gives
Interesting Reading at High School.

It seems misapplieation Of terms
to call one of Mr.. SouthWick's read
ings an entertainment, because it is
so much more; it is an education, a
clear and wonderful demonstration of
what an artist can do to show the
lights and shades of thought and feel
ing by voice and gesture. Those who
heard Julius Caesar, Z read by Mr.
SouthWick at the high school audi
torium last evening, carried away the
impression Of having listened to a
great Interpretation Of a. great drama
1t was most gratifying to those who
have been Interested in bringing MIR
SouthWick to Kenosha that so many
heard him, and that such a large NUM-
Der OF students Were there. Mrs.
Bradford said in Introducing him that
having known for a summer term in
the east Mr.. SouthWick as a teacher,
she had since taken pleasure in intro
ducing him to the people of Stevens
Point and Menominee, and finally. to
friends in Kenosha, He had continu-
ed to return to those places and she
hoped it would be so here. Mr.. South
wick speaks today at the Milwaukee
Normal and Milwaukee Downcr
College
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1912-05-23

The women of California had their
first opportunity to vote in presi-
Dental primary on Tuesday and while
il is too early yet for any extended
analysis of the vote cast by them,
the results of the participation of the
women in the California election will
be reviewed with interest in Wiscon-
sin. We are in the middle of cam
paign for the extension Of the suff-
rage in this state and figures on the
extent to which each class of women
cook part in the voting IN California,
the percentage Of all women in the
state exercising their franchise rights,
and the effect of their participation
on the general results of the election,
may well influence the vote III Wis
consin for or against the suffrage
amendment.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1912-05-23
RIFLE DISCHARGED ACCIDENTLY
Mother and Father of Little Girl Were
Arranging Bed When Rifle Was
Thrown From the Coverings and Dis
charged Bullet Pierces Brain.
From Saturday s Daily

Another tragedy due to the careless
use of firearms took place in Kenosha
county at nine o'clock this morning,
when little Marie Elizabeth ,Rusch, the
fourteen month s old daughter Of Mr..
and Mrs. Henry Busch Of Sheboygan,
employed as beetworkers on the Steph-
enson farm was instantly killed by the
accidental discharge of rife. The
rife which was Of very small calibre,
was discharged by being thrown against
a. bed and the bullet entered the mouth
of the little girl and pierced the brain.
Dr. Lowe of Pleasant Prairie was call
ed to the Rusch home but the little
child had been dead for some time when
he arrived.
The rifle was the property of Henry
Gross, a thirteen year-old boy and bro
ther of Mrs, Rusch. He had been hunt
ing early in the morning and going into
the house he had thrown the rifle on
the bed in the living room of the cot
tage. Later in the morning Mr.. and
Mrs. Ruseh started to make the bed.
The little girl who had been walking
for only few weeks had been follow
ing the father about the bed laughing
and growing. The man and woman
failed to see the rifle which was par
TALLY concealed by the clothing Of the
bed and when the clothing was thrown
back over the side of the bed the rife
was discharged. The little child fell
to the floor and before the father reach
ed her she had died. ltis thought that
the rife had been partially cooked and
that the blow against the side of the
bed brought the discharge of it.
The little girl was the only child Of
Mr.. and Mrs. Rusch and both mother
and father were Frustrated as a result
Of the accident.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1912-05-23

1t is to be expected that certain deal
ers will mistake any consideration on
the part of the city sealer shown them
in the beginning of the enforcement
of the new weights and measures law
in this city as evidence Of an inten-
ton on the part Of that official and
the state pure food commission to let
things run along in the old hit or miss
fashion, but if they do they will find
themselves in trouble in short order.
Whenever a new law of this kind is
put in force it has been the policy of
the state to overlook all failings on
the part Of dealers once, but that is
as far as the leniency extends. The
city sealer has full powers and we be-
lieve every intention to enforce the
law and protect the consumers from
the impositions of INSCRIPTIONS deal
ers. Even if the city official was dis
posed to be lax and overlook repeat
ed violations of the law which he is
not the state inspectors would soon
straighten matters out.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1912-05-23
LOSES PRIZE BEARD
Zion City Man Has Mark Of
Patriarch Destroyed in q
Celluloid Blaze.
NARROWLY ESCAPES INJURY

William Marsh has discovered, great
ly to his sorrow that a full crop Of
whiskers and a pail of celluloid
scraps thrown on fire do not go well
together,
Mr.. Marsh has been carefully and
tenderly fostering these whiskers for
many moons and his friends declare
that they We're the one greatest pride
of his life. Mr.. Marsh resides at 2705
Elm avenue, Zion City, and is en-
ployed at the Cook Electrical Com
pany. Although the whiskers are sup
posed to be badge of the Iheocraties
and sign OF eldership IN the church
Mr.. Marsh declares that this was not
his reason for growing his unusually
beautiful and attractive crop Of, hay.
But the facial adornment came to
grief in this manner. Mr.. Marsh was
going about his duties at the Cook
plant yesterday, when he had occa-
sion to put a pail full of celluloid
scraps in furnace. Immediately the
material caught fire and in no time
Mr.. Marsh s face was th9 same way.
The injury was a painful one and alr..
Marsh is forced to wear court plaster
and cotton, where formerly nature 5
most beautiful gift occupied the place
of honor.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1912-05-23
While teaching in Menomonie,

While teaching in Menomonie,. /
worked for three years neighbnr to
these schools and had abundant oppor-
tunity to find out the kind Of service
they were giving the community and
TO obserxe the beneficial results Of
these schools to TIE county and city.
i trust that, as Mr.. mccarthy says, the
next legislature will act in such way
as to make it imposs bic for an OPP
posing combination on the county
board to defeat the efforts of rural
members to help country children TO
what is justly theirs-the right to bet
ter and more practical teaching.
The short courses in agriculture in
the university and the three or four
county agricultural schools, excellent
as. they are, are not enough, are but
a drop in the bucket as the report
says. 1t is the thousands upon thous-
ands of children in our state, in the
district schools not touched by these
influences, who must be reached with
better means for an education adapt
ed to their needs, if our state would
preserve its rank, and progress as an
agricultural state
Mary D. Bradford,
Supt. Of Schools. =
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1912-05-23
ASKS HEAVY DAMAGES
Mr.. and Mrs, Michael Bode
File Suits Against North
western Railway Co.
WIFE Permanently INJURED

Two suits demanding damages to
the amount Of more than $4,000 were
fled in the circuit court today in
which the Northwestern Railway Com
pany is the defendant. They are filed
by Michaed Bode and Elizabeth Bode,
his wife, and the claims for damages
are based on an accident which occur
red at the Grand avenue crossing of
the railway on Oct 20, 1911. On that
day Mr.. and Mrs Bode and an infant
child were riding east on the avenue
III All automobile. At the crossing the
automobile was struck by train and
both Mr.. and Mrs. Bode were injured.
The automobile was badly demolished.
In the complaint filed by Mr.. Bode
damage to the amount of $1,000 are
demanded. Mr.. Bode declares that his
wife was permanently injured in the
collision and that the damages to the
automobile exceeded $500. He asks
the $4,000 for theinjuries to his wife.
The suit brought by Mrs, Bode is a
demand for damages for personal in
iuries and she also claims permanent
disability. In neither suit does Mr.
Bode demand any damages for his own
injuries. The suits will probably be
i
tried at the September term of the cir
|cuit court. 1t is claimed that since
the accident Mrs. Bode has suffered
from extreme nervous attacks and that
the shock at the time she was thrown
from the automobile was directly re-
sponsible for her condition In both
complaints it is alleged that the in
jury to Mr.. and Mrs. Bode was d.
rectly tie result of the negligence Of
the employees of the company. It is
asserted that the gates We're not low
erred to prevent the automobile going
on to the track and that no bell was
sounded to warn the occupants Of the
automobile of their approaching dan
ger.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1912-05-23
Fight Against Consumption
Shows Result in Decrease
in Deaths.
GAIN PROVES NOTABLE ONE

Ia the decade from 1901 to 1910,
the death rate from tuberculosis in
the United States declined from 1868
for each 100000 persons living to.
1903, a decrease of 1877 per cent,
general death rate, includ-
il causes of death, declined only
o. as fast, or at the rate of 81
per cent, from 1850 to 1858.
These figures were given out in a
statement issued today by the Nation
al Association for the Study aud Pre-
Ivention of Tuberculosis. They are
based on data distracted from the re-
ports Of the United States Bureau Of
the census, and cover the registration
area in this country. According to the
statement, the tuberculosis death rate
has declined steadily since 1904, when
it was 201.6. On the other hand, the
general death rate shows ductuation
downward in general trend, hut not as
steady as the tuberculosis rate. The
decline in the tuberculosis death rate
lin the last ten years means saving.
of 27000 lives at the present time.
In certain cities, such as New York,
Boston, Cleveland and Chicago, and
in states like Massachusetts, Rhode
Island and Connecticut, the decline in
the tuberculosis death rate is much
more marked than in the country at
large.
The national association says that
there are many factors working to-
gether to cause the decline in the
tuberculosis death rate, such factors
as the change in the character of our
urban population, increased sanitation,
and better housing, but probably as
patent factor as any has been the
nation wide anti-tuberculosis com
paign. cit may be foretold with con-
siderable certainty the statement
concludes, "that when the effects Of
the present rapidly increasing proyi-
sion for the care of tuberculosis
patients shall have become evident,
the decline in the death rate from con
sumption in the coming decade will be
even more marked than has Iii the
last. one.