Norwich bulletin., 1912-11-15
HUMOR OF THE DAY

Moses had set his place on fire and whilst the firemen were busily playing on the flames he walked up and down and cried: q wish I vas dead I wish vas dead" Just then a brick fell down and struck him on the head. Ills looked up and shook his fist at one of the firemen whom he thought had aim ed the missile. You blithering idiot,r he cried. angrily, cant you take a joker"
 Scene, A Railway Carriage: Old Lady (to young lad who persists in puffing a cigarette)-Don't you know it's wrong to smoke. my boy? Boy Oh, smoke for my health. Old Lady But you never heard of anything cured by smoking. Boy-Oh, yes, have. That's the way they cure pigs. Old LadyvSmoke on then, there's some hope for you yet.
 A cyclist was riding through a town at rapid rate when he was stopped by policeman who asked for his nam and address. The cyclist presented his card and rode on. The vigilant pollce- man chuckled at the fine catch he had made, but his dismay may be imag- ined when on looking at the card he read:
 U. R. Requested MlnQ I our OWn Business. There had been a collision between | a cart and an automobile. The police man was taking copious notes regard- ing the accident. "Mammie," said a small boy on the outskirts of the crowd, why does the policeman al- ways lick the end of his pencil before writing?" 'To make the case look as black as possible, I suppose" answered his mother, as she helped the child into the tramcar.
 A certain minister whose son Is an undergraduate at one of the larger | colleges has frequent occasion to re- monstrate with the boy on his ex- travagance. In a recent letter he sent check for e10, but accompanied 1t with admonitions to lead a more economical life. My son." he wrote, your studies are costing me good deal" To which the son replied cheer fully: q know 1t. father. and I don't study very hard, either"
 The judge was one of those peace- loving men who hate to see their fel- lowmen get tangled up in long legal wrangles. Don't you think" he asked, after he had heard counsers opening statement, that this is a case that could be settled out of court?" Cant be done your lordship," replied tho plaintiff promptly. T thought of that but the blighter won't fight"
 Two Jews, father and son. went for a stroll one sweltering day in the mid- dle of summer. As they passed a vendor of ice cream the boy turned to his father. T wish you'd buy me some ice cream, fader," he said longingly. T do feel hot" The father gazed at him a few seconds in mild surprise. then he exclaimed: No, no, Ikey, my poy, but I'll tell you vot I'll do. I'll tell you some ghost stories vot'll mako your blood run cold"
 In the courthouse an Irishman stood charged with stealing watch from q fellow citizen. He stoutly denied tho impeachment and brought a Counter accusation against his accuser for as- sault and battery committed with a frying pan. The judge was inclined to take @ common sense view of the case and regarding the prisoner said: "Why did you allow the prosecutor, who is a smaller man than yourself, to assault you without resistance Had you nothing in your hand to de- fend yourself with?" "Bedad, your honor" said Pat, q had his watch, but what was that against a frying panT