The Lambertville record., 1912-12-06
The Lambertville Record.
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 1912
MRS. TOPHAM'S
INVENTION
A New Years
Resolution
By MILDRED JERNEGAN


year. On the 1st day of January
Samuel Topham registered q solemn
VOW that on the very next day he
would set forth in quest of work for
the ensuing year-work that would
bring him in a steady income with
which to support his growing family.
On the ID day of January Mr. Top
ham usually had a brilliant idea-a
brain splitting conception of patent
dishwashlng machine or a baby tender
that might take the place Of a paid
nursemaid, or an automatic fapjack
gridde which not only would grease
itself, but would also tip n suspended
pitcher of batter so that one might
have continuous succession of we'll
Drowned flapjacks as fast as one could
remove them from the self greaslng,
nonburning, self adjusting griddle.
Anything in the way of work saver
or labor eliminator appealed to the In
ventive faculty of Samuel Topham.
AS these ideas attacked Samuel on
the second day of the new year, Of
course he then abandoned the idea of
seeking manual labor and devoted
himself exclusively to the perfecting of
this latest patent Under these cir
cumstances 1t became necessary for
Mrs. Topham to find some means of
supplying her husband and seven lit
tie daughters with food and clothing
This she did by home baking. She did
it cheerfully and without complaint.
for the Tophams great and small, had
infinite faith in "pa's" inventions and
contentedly scrlmped and saved so that
one day all of them might live sumptu-
ously on the proceeds of his success
when It should really come to pass.
On this particular New Years morn.
ing Samuel had registered his custom
ary vow with more than his accustom-
ed vigor.
"There's no use talking, Sarah," he
snld, sinking heavily into kitchen
chair and looking appealingly at his
plump little wife from his prominent
light blue eyes, II haven't got the
heart to see you go through another
year like the last. Tomorrow morning
l shall set out and find job, some
thing that will at least bring us in
bread and cheese"
you've said that before, SAM" re-
turned Sarah placldly you haven't
got to worry about that. I'm making
enough from my baking to pay the gro
Ger and butcher, and we can wear oul
old clothes for little while longer.
am sure the automatic griddle will be
money maker Why, whenever fee
extra tired / Just think how easy we
viii have it when that automatic grid
die is on the market and YOU
Samuel lifted a fat hand and shool
his head sadly. I'm afraid that thu
automatic griddle is not success" h
announced In "A hollow voice.
"Not-a-successT Sarah Topham'
voice showed more genuine disma.
than 1t had done in the case of thu
failure of the dlshwasher and the baby
tender, which had been the last tw'
inventions of her husbands restless
brain Now she removed her hand,
from a bowl of -four and surveyed
Samuels gloomy countenance with {
severe look on her usually good ma
tured face. you have heard some
thing new?" she asked
Yes. | had a letter-a most pecuI
iarly worded letter-from Mr.. Bow
man." admitted Samuel. taking an en-
velope from his pocket and surveying
the superscription resentfully
''Wel, what did he say, Samuel
You know you asked him for candle
opinion of its merits. He's your sec
ond cousin and ought not to be afralt
to speak right out"
"He spoke right out" muttered Sam
uel bitterly.
"What did he sayf"
HE said" returned Samuel reluc
family, that no one except an unmiti
gated idiot and II constltutlonally laz!
and shiftless loafer would ever hay,
spent year of Gods good time II
perfocting such FOOLS Idea as IN,
automatic griddle | believe you Nigh
call that candid opinion"
"Why the idea" gasped Sarah Top
ham angrlly
81 shall seek Job tomorrow" wen
on Samuel weakly.
He was surprised at his wife's
prompt reply. ITS good ldea Sam
uel' she said energetically. "I'n
afraid that we haven't capital enough
TO wait until the griddle is Il success "
"Of course, Sarah. when you lose
faith IN me | must so to the wall
said Samuel 'ropham with dignity, and
So folding the frankly written letter
Of his second cousin. the inventor left
lhe Kitchen and strolled into the par
lor Of the cottage. where his morris
chair wis drawn before glowing Hi
tie air tight stove,
From tho window he could see his
seven dunmutlvc daughters coastlng
down the Hill that sIoped from their
cotinyp ta the highroad He sighed
dvcplF II his wonderful schemes had
only carried out successfully these sev
an dauahters would each be an heireSs
wearing rtoh fur coats and ermiue
hoods 'nStrad 0f bright little red caps
md rlnak> fashioned by Sarah's busy
.andS
"tlH hum'" sighed Samuel. filing his
pipe nnd r"achlng Tor the morning
newSlqnef. Il was necessary for Sam
uei 'r sel's''rihr 90 a New York daily
papct 'p ailrr tn keep track OF the
latest inventions of other creative
brains. Il must so out and look for a
job of some kind tomorrow. If my
eyes didn't trouble me so much I'd try
bookkeeping, but what's tho use?
believe Sarah has a boiled dinner to-
day. Wen, I'm glad of that If there's
one thing enjoy it is an old fashion
ed boiled dinner,