The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-10-23

to bargain. Should l desire to sell 1t
l can make 1925 as easy as turning
my hand over. Think Of the historic
memories surrounding it,
"Yes: it might do for a wood box for
the Kitchen"
"There you go" shouted Mr.. Bow
ser as he flushed up. You've got
about as much sentiment as an old
speckled hen. and l ought to have
known what to expect of you. I sup
pose you will find fault with that blue
platter. and yet it once belonged to
Queen Elizabeth. The Royal Museum
Of London once offered 5000 for it and
would give more today. l paid only
$25 for it. as the widows gas bill came
in while we were talking. and she had
to have the cash on the spot"
"If you had waited till her butchers
bill came in you might have got the
platter for a nickel!' observed Mrs.
Bowser.
The Rarest Piece.
More sarcasm. more filings! Woman.
you do take IL positive delight in split.
ting out mean things. and If l wasn't
above quarreling I'd give you your fill.
You have no interest in these things. of
course, but I'll show. you the last Of my
bargains. This portable writing desk
is over 5000 years old"
ut looks to be over 6.OOO!"
ut belonged to the queen of Persia,
and its value is at least $ 1000. l got
it for 500. as the widow didn't under
stand what she was selling"
"She thought she was selling you a
pig poke. didn't she?"
Madam. are you aware who you are
talking to-"
II n. I'm talking to a man who
has paid out a couple of hundred dol
lars for a lot of old rubbish not worth
20 cents! Mr.. Bowser. how could you
be so foolish? You've beef worked for
an easy mark again."
"Stop right here. That will do" he
exclaimed as he pointed his finger.
THE easy mark requests that you with.
draw your presence to some other part
Of the house, and don't you dare to set
your eyes on one of these antiques
again"
Mrs. Bowser withdrew, and Mr.. Bow
ser shut the parlor door and walked
up and down with his hands behind his
back. After about five minutes of
nursing his wounded dignity a dim sus.
picion crept into his brain. In a quar-
ter of an hour he began to doubt it
John Hancock was ever rocked in that
cradle and ut the end of half an hour
Mrs. Bowser, the cook. the cat and tn.
neighbors heard smashes and crashes
loud enough to make their hail
stand up.
"What-what is it," gasped Mrs.
Bowser as she flung open the door.
DemoIishing the "Antiques."
The question was needless. Mr.. Bow
ser was attacking those antiques with
fury in his soul, and she arrived just
in time to see the cradle Of liberty aNd
Martha Washington's favorite chair fly
into splinters the length of the room
When there was nothing more to smash
and he had jumped on the fragments
the easy mark turned to her and bowed
and said:
1.-The train for your mothers home
leaves at 1910 tomorrow forenoon, and
= you can put in a claim for alimony
: with your bill"
"Why do you talk that way? sim
!. ply said
"Simply said that l was a born fool
II PierpOnt Morgan had purchased
those things abroad there would have
been columns and columns in the pa
pers about it. l will go to some cheaI
restaurant for my dinner and then will
: help you to pack your trunk. No wo
man wants to live with an idiot"
He had feasted at a fifteen cent luncl
place and had called the proprietor {
: bonehead as he went out when h
q met a local dealer In old furniture. Thu
man had a grin on his phiz. and h
patted MI. Bowser on the back ant
u asked:
"Why didn't you tell me you wer'
S out for old stuff"
"What dye mean?"
"That old furniture you bought thi
e afternoon"
:" just happened to come across 1t
a you know"
"But you could have come across /
in my place. where it had been for
year. l sold the whole bally lot TO
t $40, and l suppose they stuck you 70
about 500. They called 'em antiques
e didn't they?"
Il "Y-yes."
p "Antiques be hanged! They wer
made two years ago at a shop not thre
t blocks from us. Bowser'-
But Mr.. Bowser had vanished. H
e had stepped into a store entrance an
Ii was trying to kick himself with bot
J., feet at once.
S