davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11
WHO DOES WRITE THE JoKes7
Principally the Professional Funny
Man, Which EasiIy Explains Their
"Sad" Quality.

How are jokes made? The funny
bone Of the American people demands
q thousand new pleasantries every
day. The doctors say that our dia-
phragms must be tickled or we will:
die. How a anybody sit down and
deliberately make up jokes that will
tickle us?
The main source of newspaper jokes
Is he professional funny man. Tho
funny mar works In various ways. A.
crude beginner at the joke trade usual
ly opens the dictionary at random and
begins to look for words t. make puns
on. He comes to the word "horse."
That reminds him of horse sense"
So he frames the following little John
ny and teacher anecdote:
Johnny" said the teacher, write
a sentence using the words horse
sense" Johnny wrote: "One night
pa forgot to lock the stable and he
hasn't seen his horse sense"
This joke is duly published in the
funny column of the metropolitan pa
per. A magazine writer, seeing the
story In a country paper. thinks II
original and exclusive. He steals II
n sells 1t to a weekly magazine o!
national circulation. From this maya
Zine London editors grab the little Jest
and 1t is now afloat on the wide ocean
OF English language and 1t probably
Will outlive the man who wrote 1t.
Most OF the anecdotes that All the
funny columns never happened in real
life. They are the brain children of
some hired jester who dotes on anec-
dotes. There Is a pun. right there.
The professional funny man would
ponder that a minute, then perhaps
produce a rhyme like this:
Artie chokes on artichokes
And writhes about in pain:
But Auntie dotes on antidotes.
And soon he's we'll again.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11
kind and sensible father was

kin and sensible father was
You Low, dear, suspicion has Killed
a man before now. 1t was but a very
little while ago that q noble hearted
gentleman preferred death to such dis
honour"
you've got your head" ne retorted.
full of nonsense. Lou. Try and be q
sensible woman now. and think OF 1t all
quietly. Is there anything you would
like me to do. for instance?"
Yes, II you will"
What is it?"
couldn't you see Uncle RYDER"
AT Scotland Yard. you mean"
He is at the head of the criminal
investigation department. isn't he??"
I've always understood so"
Would he see you. do you think. at
his office"
onel Harris. "Of course he would.
What do you want me to see him
about"
He could tell you exactly how mat
tiers stood with regard toto Luke.
couldn't he"
He could. But would he?"
You can but try.''
ITS a great pity your aunt is out OF
town; You might have heard a good
deal from her."
oh. Sir Thomas never tells aunt
anything that's professional" said
LOUISA Wlln Il smile. "She'O be for
ever making muddles."
II am sure she WOULD he assented
with deep conviction.
DO you think l might go with you?"
What? To Toms? l don't think
he would like that, Lou; and it
wouldn't quite do you KNOW
Perhaps not she agreed with
hardly even a sigh of Disappointment.
She was SO accustomed. you see, to
being thwarted by convention, when
ever impulse carried her out of the
bounds which the world had prescribed.
Moreover. she expected to see Luke
soon. He would be sure to come di-
rectly after an early visit to Grosvenor
Square.
She helped her father on with his
coat. She was almost satisfied that he
should go alone. She would have an
hour with Luke. il he came early, and
1T was necessary that she should have
him to herself, before too many peo-
pie had shouted evil n good news,
congratulations, opprObrium, and sus-
picions at him.
Colonel Harris, she knew, would get
quite as much If not more information
out OF his brotherinlaw, Sir Thomas
ryder. than he could do II shea mere
woman-happened to be present at the
interview. Sir Thomas would trust
Colonel Harris with professional mat
ters which he never would confde to a
woman. n Louisa trusted her father
implicitly.
She knew that, despite the grumb-
llngs n crustiness peculiar to every
Englishman. when he is troubled with
domestic matters whilst sitting at his
own breakfast table, her father had
Luke's welfare just as much at heart as
she had herself.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11
True Enough.
Halt the world don't know how they
live themselves.-Life.
More eultabIe.

At the Devon horse show a mot OF
Miss Eleanora Sears was retailed.
A very stout young woman. the
story ran. asked Miss Sears advice
about her costume for q fancy dress
ball.
II think Of going 40 Helen OF Troy"
she ended. DO you think 1t would
suit mot"
Miss N1eanora Sears. surveying the
young woman's swelling contours with
. faint smile. answered:
"Holen of Troy-or. perhaps. don't
you think. Helen Of Avoirdupois would
10 botterf"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11
When Your Eyes Need Care

Try Murine Eye Remedy. No s~marting-Teels
yine-Acts Quickly. Try Il for Red, Veal.
Wate.y Eyes and 0ran%lated Eyslids. nlus-
compounded By our Oculists-nQt . sPatent NeA-
;.ssainne ," -. nsed 10 susSc aM sffla, rhystc IL x. p. 30.
lie and sold ~ DruSgists at 10 and 6oc per Bottle
Murine Eye Remedy Co.. ohioaes
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11

A splendid and highly recommended
remedy for tired, weak. infiamed eyes,
and granulated eyelids, is Paxtine An
tiseptic, at druggists, 25c q box or sent
postpaid on receipt Of price by The
Paxton Toilet Co.. Boston. Mass.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11

No Wife's Cooking for Them.
Mrs. Crimsonbeak-This paper says
that rarely indeed is a wealthy Turk
seen at his wife's dinner table.
Mr.. Crimsonbeak- Yes, l under
stand the Turks live a long time.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11

A woman can easily win in any
kind Of an argument with a man II
she knows just when to turn on the
briny dow.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup for Childrer
teething, softens the gums, reduces inhamma
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie, sc q bottle.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11

A jealous woman enables his
Satanic majesty to take a vacation
now and then.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11

1t always makes good! What7 Garfield
Tea, the Natural Laxative, composed entirely
Of pure, wholesome and healthgiving herbs.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11

A Matter Of Names.
What is the differences between
pomme do terre and potato?" about
two dollars. Harvard Lampoon.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11

A woman laughs when she can and
weeps when she will.-Proverb.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11

Fred-What makes you think that
Miss Charming is the most popular
girl at the hotel?
Jack-She's the only one the
other girls refer to as a designing
creature"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11
SYNOPSIS.

The story opens in Brussels. Louis
Harris. a charming English girl OF fam
ily, friends and wealth. while absentlly
Walking along the Boulevard Waterloo IN
a November rain. runs into a tragedy.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11

The story opens III Brussels. Louis
Harris: a charming English girl OF fam
walking along the Boulevard Waterloo In
a November rain. runs into a tragedy.
A man is found murdered in a taxi
cab: his companion who had left. the cab
some time before and told the chauffeur
10 drive to a certain address. had disap-
peared and Is unknown.
The scene shifts to London. Luke de
a,on1tiord. I.ouisa's affianced. the nephew
Lord Radcliffe IS in trouble. An alleged
nlrect hefi. the unknown son of another
brother. mas notified Lord Radcliffe OF his
or Luke. claims that he has examined the
papers and that the claimant is an I'm
poster.
Suddenly the alleged Phillip de Mount
FORD appears In london. After a short M
lefEiew with Lord Radcliffe his lam
are are recognized and he is installed as heir:
WITHOUT explanation Luke is practically
ulsowhed. Phillip seems to exert unll1n-
lted influence over Lord Radcliffe which
puzzles his friends and defies investiga-
'loh. Lord Radcliffe Will explain TO no
one.
"A year has passed since the tragedy in
aelaII IN London. The victim Is Phillip
de Mountford. Every circumstance and
q very apparent motive points to the dis.
IN vain. Louisa. In her blind faith, tried
10 prove Luke innocent. Every investiga-
Ton brightens the chains of evidence. At
the coroner's inquest the startling devel-
uPlneht that the murdered man is not
Phillip de Mountford but a common
~scoundrel denounced by his father and
mother. who identified the body as their
does not in the least upset the appalling
proofs of L,ike's guilt. A warrant is is
sued Tor his arrest but because of his
statioh In life the police secretly warn
MN 20 cav the country before the war
rant Is served. This he prepares TO do.
Louisa sees him and asks him pointedly
Tor the truth. He confesses his guilt.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11

A man Is found murdered in a taxi
cab: his companion who had left the cal
to drive to "a certain address,. had disap-
peared and Is unknown.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1912-08-30
CANYON COUNTY CORRESPONDENTS

where her father is holding evangel-
istic meetings.
Mr.. Jacobson visited in Weiser last
Tuesday and Wednesday.
Mrs. Williamson of North Dakota
mother of DR.. Williamson, formerly
of Parma, Mrs Eagleston of Boise
and Misses Anderson and Katherine
Green of Boise visited at J. H. Low
ellis last Thursday.
J. H. Lowell's entertained Judge
Russell and son and Judge J. f. Ker-
rick the latter part of the week.
Earl Johns and Fred Anderson are
busy tinting the school house and
getting it ready for the fall term of
school,
Chas. Paine, manager of the Steel
orchard, expects to begin picking and
packing prunes about the tenth OF
September He expects to have about
twenty carloads of prunes this year
Verne Whal visited friends Wed
nesday and Thursday in Weiser.
Clarence Hill returned to Leland
Stanford University last Friday
number of her friends at her home q
week ago Saturday night.
Mrs. L. M. Birch and children ant
Mr. and Mrs Woosley and son, lief,
Thursday evening for Carlock, ILL.,,
where they will spend the fall and
winter.
James Boone Of Caldwell, spent
Sunday with his friend Gilbert Nc
Cormick.
Rev. Cohenor gave an address or
temperance at the Presbyterian church
last Sunday evening to large audi
ence.
Miss Edna lockwood entertained ;
number of her friends last Tuesda.
afternoon.
A dance will given at the Roswell
hall next Friday night, August sc
Music will be furnished by the Cald
we'll Orchestra.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1912-08-30
GREENLEAF.

Mr.. Frank Herlocker has built a
grainary l2xl4ft on the siding at
Greenleaf, and expects to buy grain
of the ranchers in the neighborhood
who have it to sell.
family from town for dinner last Sum
day. Although a batch" Harry's
friends are always pleased to be in
vited to his place for meals.
Several have threshed and grain has
turned out well and of good quality.
An imposing porch is being built
over the entrance to the Greenleaf
Academy, adding much to the ap-
pearance as we'll as to convenience.
The grounds around the Academy
are being plowed, leveled and put in
shape for seeding. The improvements
under way will be satisfactory to all
concerned and will be finished ready
for the opening of school on Monday
next, September 2.
Lewis Jester and wife of Des
Moines, Iowa, made flying trip thru
this section last week, with Sumner
Binford of Caldwell. Mr.. Jester is
brother of J. Jester Jr., and visited
this section three years ago, and was
amazed at the transformation through
since he drove through the sage brush
only three years ago. Although a
very loyal Iowan, he was frank to
admit the changes he saw were mar
velous.
Laura Perisho returned Monday
from Parma, where she spent two
weeks with her sister, Mrs. Roy Ware.
She is much improved in health and
ready to enter school at the academy.
A number of the ladies of the church
and neighborhood attended the w. G:
T. u. Institute and convention held
in the M. E. church in Caldwell, on
Wednesday and Thursday.
Thomas Perisho and family re-
turned this week from the hills last
Monday, without bear-skin. All
though fine specimen is reported to
have exposed himself within easy
shooting range, his appearance was so
unexpectedly that he made good his
escape.
The others of the Grcenleaf camp
in the hills remained for a longer
time.
Rev. Ezra Parsons new house is
nearly finished, and the family to
move in and are getting settled.
Rev. Harry Hays, has the founda-
ton for his new house finished and
the material on the ground to begin
the building.
The finishing is being done on Prof.
Chas. MarshalPs new house and it will
soon be ready for occupancy.
Adds fuckers brother, from Boise,
is here to attend the Academy this
year, and will live at Wade fuckers.
Several from the neighborhood at
tended the Quarterly meeting held at
Star last Saturday and Sunday
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1912-08-30

be expected under the circumstances
borly call would be very much APP
preciated.
Miss Jannette Runcman went to
Roswell Monday where she will spend
a few days in visiting friends
Some one hundred persons, repre-
senting the cream of Canyon county,
gathered at Rose Lawn ranch last
Tuesday evening and helped to make
another Brier Rose social grand and
glorious success. Teams were tied
everywhere, the house was crowded.
the lawn was full, and the pre-
vailing aspect was one of jovial
hilarity. The pros and cons OF poll
tics, the weather, crops, etc, furnished
interesting topics for the adult dis
cussions, while the catalog of out door
games was ransacked by the ambitious
representatives of the Brier Rose
youth. The housewives demonstrated
anew their wonderful art of making
delicately favored ice cream and pal
atable cakes. After about seven gal
Ions of this delicious ice desert and
twelve cakes and made a Tightening
like disappearance, the company broke
up and wended their way homeward,
by the light of the silvery moon.
At the social Mr. c. c. Gurwell was
persuaded to accept the nomination
for position on the school board
Mr.. Gurwell has the interests of all
rural sections at heart and he earn
estly desires the support of all rural
residents.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1912-08-30
NOTICE OF SALE OF REAL ES
TATE AT PRIVATE SALE.

In the Probate Court of Canyon
County, State of Idaho.
In the matter of the guardianship
of the estates of Newton Powell,
May Powell Clara Powell, Goldie
Powell, Thomas Powell and Sylvia
Powell. Minors:
Under authority of an order of
sale granted by the Probate Court
of the County of Canyon, State of
Idaho. dated December II. 1911, l
will sell at private sale the following
described real estate:
An undivided six-ninths (6-o) in
terest in the South one-half (SH)
of the Southeast quarter (SEA),
of the Southeast quarter (SEN)
and the Southwest quarter (SWH),
of the Southeast quarter (SEH)
of Section Twenty-six (26); and the
North half (NH) of the North
east quarter (NEAl of Section Thirty
five (35) all in Township four 90,
North Range Three (3). West of
Boise Meridian. in Canyon County,
Idaho; together with all the bitches
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1912-08-30
DEER FLAT ITEMS.

Mr.. Chas. Selix of Portland, visited
with Lawrence Davis last week.
Mrs. Tom Hitson of Middleton
visited Sunday with the VIM. Hitsor
family
Mr.. and Mrs. w. H. Davis spent
part of last week at the Given's Hot
Springs.
Mrs. Amanda Corn of Willow Creel
visited on the Flat Saturday.
The Misses Smiths left Sunda,
evening for their home in Chicago.
Rev. B. F. Clay preached at the
school house Sunday morning, and
he and Mrs. Clay were dinner guest:
of Mr.. and Mrs. J. M. Traughber.
Miss Julia Clark is visiting with
friends at Parma and Roswell this
week.
The school house board have de-
cided to repair the old school build
ing and not to build a new school thi:
year.
Lawrence Davis and Ben Vogt lief
Saturdany for Payette where the,
will work in the fruit.
Miss Edna Davis came down from
Boise to attend the picnic last Thurs
day and spent the night with home
folks, returning to Boise the next day
The Shelby family returned Mon
day from their outing in the hills
Quite number from here enjoyed
the free rides on the interurban Sat
| urday. Some going to Caldwell an6
others with picnic dinners to Lake
| Lowell, where good music was fur
nished by an orchestra from Caldwell
and the steam launch and boats wer,
at the service of the picnicers free o.
charge. Thanks are due Mr.. Sebret
| for making this pleasant day possible
The farmers near the electric line
are beginning to appreciate more ane
more its usefulness and convenience
Mrs. T. H. Mccullough and Mrs
| John Pemberton and daughter, Marie
will leave for an extended trip east
Mrs. Pemberton and daughter will
visit with relatives in Chicago ant
other points in Illinois, while Mrs
Mccullough will spend some tim
with her children in Montana befor,
returning home.
Mr.. Selby of Los Angles, Cal, i
here visiting with his parents, Mr.. ant
Mrs. Lewis Selby. Mr.. Selby ma,
locate here.
Mr.. and Mrs. Dale Gilman, of Ore
gon, are visiting with their parent
Mr.. and Mr.. Nelson.
| The Free Methodist people hav
their new parsonage nearly completed
| Several of our young people will at
tend the teachers institute at Bots
next week.
| Mr.. John Pemberton is planning t
leave Soon on business trip to Wis
consin.
i Mr.. and Mrs. Chas. Vogt are ex
pecting their daughter and famil,
from Nebraska, this week.
II The electric car line is complete
to the hume and cars are now runnin
regularly to that station which wi
be known as "Hoosier Heights o
the time table, Robbers Roost
was seriously considered. but the tow
site is expected to be located ther
next week, and some thought tn
name too suggestive.
d The townsite chosen last week no
has a bank, grange hall. church, lun
Der yard. store and barber shop-o
: paper.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1912-08-30
HOMEDALE ITEMS.

w. P. Bean made business trip to
Caldwell, Boise and Nyssa the last
of the week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Yaden were among
those who attended the big picnic at
Fair Acres, Thursday. A very enjoy
able day was reported.
visiting at the Schenck and Parsons
ranches last week. He had been sell
ling nursery stock on Sunny Slope
and he went from here to the King
man Kolony.
w. H. Jesse made short visit home
Saturday.
Messrs. Helly, Tucker and WEIGH,
who are putting in the drops in the
Gem bitches, went to their home near
the Nampa ferry to spend Sunday.
Arthur Irwin, A. L. Knight, and
Willie Cowan were Caldwell visitors
Monday.
Guy Gordon had charge of the store
during the absence of w. P. Bean.
R. D. Jesse made trip to Wilder,
Saturday.
Mrs. A. A. Paul of Caldwell, is
spending the week visiting at the
Schenck ranch.
w. H. Schenck and Miss Ida made
a trip to Caldwell Monday.
Lewis Smith was over on the Ros-
we'll bench last week, irrigating the
crops for his sister.
Mrs, Lewis Smith, Mrs. Day, and
Mrs. w. H. Schenck spent the day al
w. H. Jesse's Thursday.
J. P. Wood and family are now liv-
ing in their new bungalow.
The ellis Construction Company
has completed work at the lower
pumping plant and gone to Boise.
Charles Tabor is busy hauling
lumber for drops and fumes, for ths
Gem District.
Mrs. Moore, from the DR.. Becl
ranch, was in town Tuesday. She il
selling fruit from the orchard on tha
place.
Charles McCoard was called ava,
on business this week.
Mr. Freeburn's son has been yer.
sick but he is now slightly improved
DR.. Cue of Caldwell. has charge Of tn
case.
Mrs. Roy Myler is not yet able t.
come home, but is steadily though
slowly improving.
Farmers have begun blowing for tn
planting of fall and winter grain.
w. F. Bean expects to 60 to tow
Saturday to meet his wife and bah
who are coming from Occur d'Alene
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1912-08-30

and laterals used in the irrigation
OF the same and the water rights
connected herewith; also all the
right, title, and interest OF said
minors in and to that certain water
right filed by John R. Rannels, for
200 inches of water, and recorded
in the office OF the recorder if Can
yon County, Idaho, on the 18th day
Of May, 1902. in Book of Water
Rights, page 476.
The sale will be made on or after
September IA, 1912, and bids will be
received at the office of Rice,
Thompsin g. Buckner. Caldwell Com
mercial Bank Building, Caldwell
Idaho. Terms of sale. ten per cent
QO%o) to accompany bid, balance on
confirmation by the Court.
CLARA POWELL,
Guardian of said minors.
Dated June Goth, 1911. a3O-sl3
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1912-08-30
THoRNs FROM BRIER ROSE

Mrs. Ratlae is visiting relatives in
Salt Lake city.
A somewhat serious accident befell
Mrs. II. L. Williams one day last week
while the men folks were all at Mid
dleton, with apples for the manufact-
uring cider. She was picking apples
from a step ladder she lost her balance
and fell to the ground. The force OF
the fall, or the manner in which she
struck, broke two ribs and her
shoulder and rendered her unconscious
for an hour. Upon coming to she
summoned all of her true American
pluck and unaided, made her way to
the house, where she telephoned for
doctor. She is doing as we'll as car
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1912-08-30
ROSWELL.

Threshing has been in full blast in
Roswell this week. Two threshing
outfits are busy with the unusually
large crop.
Mr.. Charles Allen is suffering from
an attack of rheumatism this week.
J. NJ. Frey threshed FIVE acres OF
oats Saturday that went lightweight
bushels to the acre.
Mr.. and Mrs. Chas. Paine made a
trip to Weiser the first of the week
in his new F. NJ. F. auto. Miss Louise
Bledsoe accompanied them to Weiser