davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
The Label Was Plain.

At the last annual banquet Of the
Indiana Society Of Chicago Strickland
Gillian told a story which he began
with the statement that "Hoosiers re-
Quire no more Identification than a
Kansas hotel keeper named Ed Wood,
an Englishman, who stammered copi-
ously. Ed went home to visit his Eng
lish cousins. When he got back as far
as little old-whatever the towns name
is-he found his stock Of ready money
rather short. So he wired to his Kan
sas banker to send him SITS. Smith,
the banker, wired to Ed, Have sent
money care Kuhns s. Co. To Kuhns &
Co. he wired: Pay to Ed Wood SITS
my account. Wood may be identified
by stammer.'
"When Wood got back to Kansas he
went to see his banking friend.
ESSAY, J-joe, those K-k-kuhns peo-
pie are the finest s-s-set of g-gentlemen
I ever m-met. I went around there and
said, ibid Joe S-s-s-smith s-s-send me
s-s-some m-money?" They said. Yves
l s-said. "Sh-sh-shell 'er OUT They
h-h-h-handed it out to me and n-n-never
asked for any decentralization" -
Chicago Tribune.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Detectinu Thunderstorms,

With instruments installed at the
Lyons observatory NJ. Flajolet has
noted atmospheric electrical disturb
ances when these were at a consider
able distance. and in some cases storms
were observed when they were a.
much as 300 miles off. He used a mod
flied wireless telegraphy outfit and
found that an electrolytic detector was
not good for this kind Of work, as it
needs to be left constantly on the cir
cult and hence gets out Of order. A
mineral detecror made with sulphide
Of lead and fine copper points answered
very well, however. and it is as sensi-
tive as the other type. A relay could
be used to take the storm signals, but
when the atmospheric effect was far
of the current was much weaker and
had to be received by a sensitive gal
vanometer with Photographic register
ing. In this way he could observe the
effects of storms at great distances
which would take at least twenty.four
hours to arrive.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
~ The -
Scrap Book
Deserved to Escape.

Though he has IA solemn, glum look
ing face, with which he could qualify
for ticket seller IN a theater box Office,
Senator Clarence Watson Of West Vir-
ginia is in reality a jovial citizen. He
can be depended on to come through
with ii good story on an average of
once every ten days or two weeks.
Watson used to have a friend. by
name Doc Cook. who drifted to the
West Virginia coal fields and opened
up a studio for ministering to the
wants Of the MANNED and diseased.
Later on he started a sa%nitarium. The
first patient tt enter there up and died
with much dispatch; also the second
patient; likewise the third. So it went
until the sanitarium was popularity o n
fused with the idea Of a morgue.
Then a delirium tremens victim en-
tered the s%anitarium. The second
night he was there he became fretful
and climbed out Of a second story
window. doc" Cook. having few
helpers. started to chase the patient
In person. But the d. t. man was a
feet runner. and after they had gone
a mile and a half DER hill and dale
the doctor sat down on a rock, ex-
hausted, and muttered to himself:
"Oh. we'll. let the blamed fool go.
He's the first one that ever got away
alive."-Philadelphia Ledger.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Concerning Lightning Rods.

Experts now consider that there is
more danger from lightning to any
thing standing alone than to any
building in a city. The theory is
that the many points offered by the
city buildings tend to conduct a silent
discharge constantly from the atmos-
phere. Thus the potential differences
and the static force never become as
great over a city as they do in the
open where there is no opportunity
for such continuous discharge. The
force of the lightning depends upon the
potential difference. 1t seems. there
fore. that lightning rods would be OF
much more benefit in the country than
in a city. Again, when the enormous
force and volume of a lightning dis.
charge is considered. it is doubtful If
a small rod could have the capacity to
convey so much current. although it
might help some.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
An Enraued Camden.

A man who was caught in the act
of skinning a neighbours sheep covered
his embarrassment by declaring that
no sheep could bite him and live. The
logic of this is equaled by that of the
soldier who once had a narrow escape
from an enraged gander. The men OF
a certain Maine regiment, which was
in the enemy's country in 1862, con-
sidered the order mo foraging" an
additional and uncalled for hardship.
One afternoon about dusk a soldier
was seer beating a rapid retreat from
the zeal of a farmhouse neal by, close
ly pursued by a gander with wings
outspread, whose feet seemed scarcely
to touch the ground and from whose
beak issued a succession of angry
screams. The fugitive was not reas-
sured by the cries Of the gander's
owner: Hold ON, man. hold on! He
won't hurt you" Call off your gan
der! Call him off, shouted the fleeing
soldier. Neither man nor gander
stopped until inside the camp lines,
when the soldiers friends relieved him
Of his fierce pursuer with the aid of
the butt of a musket. did that gan
der think he could chase me like that
and live!" the soldier exclaimed as he
surveyed the outstretched bird, but he
said nothing of the baited hook, with
cod line attached, which might have
thrown light on the unfortunate gan
der's strange actions.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Rouoh on the Major,

NvSA VIZ ~
Captain links was giving a party and
had arranged a nice little toast list In
Difference to the presence Of Major
Clacquer, an able after dinner speaker.
The latter was attended by his wife, a
very deaf old lady, who was much at
tached to him. As the gallant officer
was to reply to the toast Of "The
Babies" his wife, knowing his fond
ness for children, Judged that it would
suit him admirably. At the last mo
ment, however, the majors subject, un-
known to Mrs. Clacquer, was changed
to 1.-THE Ladies'" But 1t made no DIFF
ference to the officer, and his sparkling
speech delighted the company.
A lady congratulated the majors
wife upon her husbands brilliant eff
fort.
ooh. Mrs. H." she replied, you
don't know how fond the major is Of
them. I've seer him with two or three
on his lap at once
ooh, Caroline!" gasped the major.
who had overheard the conversation.
"Just teasing the life out Of the poor
things" wen on his wife. wholly OBJ
livious to the shouts of laughter.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Non Coal Land. Serial No. O28261.
Notice for Publication.

United States Land Office at Great Falls. Mon
tana. July 10, 1912.
Notice is hereby given that
JAMES DEERING,
whose postofice address is Helena, Montana,
hss this 10th day Of July, 1912, filed in this office
his application to select under the provisions
OF the Act Of July /, 1895. the following described
Beginning at the quarter section corner on the
west boundary of section 9, township 20 north,
range II east; thence south one-quarter mile
mile to corner No. 2; thence south one.quarter
mile to corner No. 8; thence east one-quarter
mile to corner No. 4; thence north. oneguarter
consa in De' 20 acres res Of s unsu p,Ssv ! land 1sf'V Which;
when surveyed will be known a. the SEX SEA
section 8, township 20 north, range II east, Mon
Beginning at the quarter section corner on the
south boundary line of section 10, township 20
north. range IL east, being corner No. l; thence
south one:qusrter mile to corner No. 2; thence
north one.qu arter mile to corner No. 4; thence
east one-Quarter mile to corner No. l, the place
of beginning, containing 40 acres Of unsurveyed
NEA NWA section IL, township 20 north, range
IL east, Montana meridian.
Beginning at the quarter section corner on the
west boundary line of section ~, township 70
north, range IL east, being corner No. /; thence
north one-quarter mile to corner No. 2; thence
west one-quarter mile to corner No 8; thence
south one-quarter mile to corner No. 4; thence
east one-quarter mile to corner No. /, the place
of beginning, containing 40 acres of unsurveyed
land, which when surveyed will be known as the
p rs esst IN Montana lanai meridian. Also the SCI; NWS
surveyed.
Any and all persons claiming adversely tn
o'heI reason to the disposal to 3, aPglpilic ss,t. saou !
before the 3lst day Of August. 19l:
Il. L. BARNES, Register.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Notice To Taxpayers.

In eccordance with the provisions of Sections
2547, Revised Codes of Montana, notice is hereby
given that the assessment book of Chouteau
tor the year 1912 is now completed by the
assessor and delivered to the county clerk, and
is now in HE Office open to inspection by all
persons Interested. The board Of county com
on the third Monday in July duly IS, 1919, at
the court house In Fort Benton, to examine the
assessment of property in the county. and Will
to time until the business of equalization 10 dis
posed Of, but not later than the second Monday
in August august II, 1929. Any person having
essments a. shown by the assessment book
compiled by the assessor,w viii present them to the
board of equali cation during the period herein
a.y ~ 9eiy tor q t tsst 1g gqh'PSG sy o VIZ 2u tFo% ~ 3D. ,'s ss
they will be thereafter debarred from making
corrections in their assessments.
~, At tent n lon i nu called ID e %t the following 70 ~, sections % ,S Of
duties OF the board of equalization:
Section ASIA. No reduction must be made in
the valuation of property unless the party ahect-
ed thereby, or his agent, makes and files with the
board . written application therefor, verified BY
his oath, showing the facts upon which It Is
claimed such reduction should be made.
plication, or makes any reduction applied for, It
must examine ON oath the person or the agent
making the application, touching the value Of
be made unless such person or the agent making
the application attends and answers al questions
pertinent to the inquiry.
ton the board may subpoena such witnesses,
hear and take such evidence in relation to the
subject pending as in Its discretion it may deem
Section 2577. During the session of the board
the assessor and any deputy whose testimony ID
needed must be present and may make any state
ment or introduce and examine witnesses on
J. LEE SEDGWICK, County Clerk.
Fort Benton, Mont, July 10, 1912.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
SANITARY DRINKING FOUNTAIN.

Of the lips. so that the user may stand
In a perfectly easy and natural posi-.
ton while drinking. This is made pos
sible by a hose and cup arrangement.
the bose consisting Of a double tube
The inner tube is the feed pipe for the
bubbler. and the outer tube acts rs 81
waste pipe. carrying away the surplus
water while the person Is drinking.
The how OF water through the inner
tube is continuous. no matter what the
position of the cup. but when the cup
is lowered into its position in the fOun
tain basin the water flows over it and
discharges into the basin instead OF
being carried away by the outer tube
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Couldn't Bend the Horns.

After a somewhat hilarious night q
farmer called up his son before it was
light and told him to go and harness
the donkey. The young man obeyed,
but did not take a light with him. It
so happened that the night before had
been very frosty, and an old COW had
strayed into the stable and driven the
donkey out. Thinking the young man
a long time absent, the father went to
ascertain the cause Of the delay.
slack, what are you doing?" he called
when he found the stable in darkness.
"Why, l can't get the collar over the
donkey's head" replied Jack. "His
BARS are froZen!"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
A Railway Up Mount Popocatepetl,

A Railway Up Mount Popocatepetl.
1t is planned to run an electric rail-
way up to the volcanic crater Of the
famous Mount ~Popocatepetl, Mexico,
for the primary purpose of transport
ing the sulphur, of which this crater
is one OF the worlds greatest sources.
to the base of the mountain. Incl
dentally the railway will also be used
to carry tourists. Between the alti-
tudes Of 1000 and 1850 feet it will
be operated Is an ordinary traction
road, but above this the ACTIVITY Is
too great to be so mounted, and the
remainder of the distance to the sum-
NIT, which is 1874 feet above sea
level, will be by cog road.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Non Coal Land.
Notice For Publication.

United States Land Office at Great Falls, Mon
tana, July %, 1912.
Notice is hereby given that
GEORGE EVERS,
of Floweree, Montana, who, on June IA, 1907,
made homestead entry No. 1924, serial No. OOss
for SWA SWA section II, 81 SEA-, sen SWk
section 10, township "a north, range 4 east, Mon.
tana meridian, has filed notice of intention to
make final %fve.year proof, to establish claim
to the land above described, before Chas b.
Benton, Montana, on the Sd day of September,
1919.
Claimant names as witnesses: Walter A.
Knight, Theo. Evers, Walter r. Morrison, Roy
j. Digby, all Of Floweree, Mont.
e. L.. BARNES, Register.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Make the Best Of Il.

You'll find it hard on this old earth
To turn your sorrow into mirth.
You scarce can make a Jest Of 1t.
But as you go the journey through,
Whatever is, you'll find that you
Can always make the best Of it.
Misfortune darkens every sky.
But not SO much for those who try
To see the silver side of it.
Misfortunes may be hard to bear,
But every one must have his share,
And no one yet has died Of 1t.
So. be the burden what it may,
And let there come the darkest day,
With sorrow and the rest Of it.
You cannot alter what must be
Or urn the noise to melody,
But all can make the best Of It.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
A Comfortable Position.

When Fraulein Braune came to this
country she discovered that she had
not yet mastered English as it is spo-
ken. though she had studied her Eng
lish grammar carefully. ZACH, yes, I
shall remember" she said. "This win
dow above the door Is the transom,
the transom. l. did not know that
word. And you call this a register?
Yes, l shall learn that name" Not
long after the dignifed German lady
astounded some visitors by asserting:
ooh. no, I have not found this coun-
try cold. l have been very comfortable
I sit all day with my feet over the
transOm."
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
HAD A READY ANSWER.
A Brakeman Who Wasn't Awsd by Old
Commodore Vanderbilt.

A Brakeman Who Wasn't A~ed by Old
Commodore Vanderbilt.
One day while old Cornelius Wander
bilt was riding on the New York Cen
trail his car was stopped near a point
at which a freight was at work.
A brakeman was trying to make q
coupling opposite Vanderbilt's car, but
the link would not 1T. In those days
there were no automatic couplers.
Three times the brakeman Stacked
'em backward and forward, but failed
to couple them. The engineer became
g halted his locomotive and, lean
ing from the cab window, abused the
brakeman for his lack of skill.
The brakeman bawled a torrid re-
tort: then, to relieve his feelings, he
snatched the offending link from the
drawbar and threw it with all his
strength into a creek. At that moment
he became aware that a side whisker-
ed gentleman was observing him with
marked disfavor from the platform OF
a private car. A second glance con-
1rmed the brakeman's impression that
he had been watched by Commodore
Vanderbilt.
"Young man." said Mr. Vanderbilt,
II saw you. Do you know whose prop.
erty you've been throwing into the
creek?"
"Oh, yes. sir" was the prompt,
courteous response.
"Well, whose Is it?"
1.-The Pennsylvania railroads. sir"
| the brakeman answered.
"Uh-h" Mr.. Vanderbilt grunted. com
pletely disconnected by the unexpected
reply.
The door of his private car slammed
a moment later. The brakeman, whist
ling what he considered a tune, robbed
a car on the siding Of its link and made
the coupling.-New York Post.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Non Coal Land.
Notice For Publication.

United States Land Office at Great Falls, Mon
tana, July %, 1912.
Notice is hereby given that
SAMUEL J. STANTON,
of Fort Benton, Montana, who, on June 10, 1911,
made Homestead entry serial No. 022359 for WV
SEX section z, WV NEA section IL, township q
north, range 6 east, Montana meridian, has filed
notice of intention to make final Communication
proof, to establish claim to the land above de-
scribed, before Chas. H. Boyle, U. s. commits
sioner, at his Office, at Fort Benton, Montana, on
the 4th day of September, 1912.
Claimant names IS witnesses: Adam John
stone, Robert Imbert, Charles M. Smith, Charles
H. Brown, al Of Fort Benton, Mont.
&. L. BARNES, Register.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
WAS THE SEE-GAR LIGHTED?"

without any claws in it and a perfecto
cigar. Then he told him how he ap-
preciated his work and adjured him
to keep it up.
The district dignitary slowed away
the perfecto to smoke of a Sunday and
after he had lighted it took a spin on
the handcar to put it all over the fore
man Of the adjoining section.
The latter listened to the narrative
with poorly assumed control.
Was the see-gar lighted when he
gave it to ye?" he inquired.
mot on yer life! Why soT'
"Well, because he stint for me three
months ago-alongside Of his garland
thrun wan at me, but 1t was burnin'."
Chicago Post.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Notice to Creditors.

Estate of Arthur s. Porgsr, deceased.
Notice 10 hereby given by the undersigned,
Lille Porger, execntrlx Of the estate Of Arthur
8. Porger, deceased, to the creditors of, and all
persons having claims against the said deceased,
to exhibit them with the necessary vouchers
this notice, to the said Lille Porger, at the
offices of Stranshan, & Stranahsn, in the Stock
mems National bank building at Fort Benton, In
the county of Chouteau, state of Montana.
LILLE PORGER,
Executrix of the estate of Arthur 8. Porger,
deceased.
Dated July 9, 1919.
First publication, July 10, 1912.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Non Coal Land.
Notice For Publication.

United States Land Office at Great Falls, Mon
tana, July ~, 1912.
Notice 10 hereby given that
HORACE A. HIBBARD,
of Teton, Montana, who, on July Is, 1910, made
home entry serial No. Ol3996. for NJ SWA,
EN- NWk, NWA NWk section %, EH NEA,
s east, Montana meridian, has fled notice Of IL
tention to make dnal ive-year proof to establish
claim to the land above described. before Chas. 81
Benton, Montana, on the 4th day of September
1912.
Claimant names 80 witnesses: Scott R. Hib
bard, Josephine Gamble, Mary Schiewe, Alvin
Schiewe, all of Teton Bench, Mont.
E. L.. BARNES, Register.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Notice For Publication.

United states Land Office at Lewistown, Mon.
tAna, July 5, 1912.
Notice 10 hereby given that
TON N. DENSON,
of Hawarden, Montana, who,. on May II. 1911,
M SEX and ny SWk section II, township 81
north, range 10 east, Montana principal meridian,
has died notice Of intention to make hnal
communication proof, to establish claim to the
land above described, before Chas. H. Boyle,
U. s. commissioner, at his Office At Fort Benton,
Montana, on the 10th day of August, 1912.
Joe Howells, Lester Kellogg, Ross Kellogg, all
of Hawarden, Montana.
c. E. McKOIN, Register.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Decentralization Of Motor Cylinders

Decentralization Of Motor Cylinders.
A new method of Decentralization Of
gasoline engine cylinders, imported
from England and giving promise Of
considerable success in the eradication
Of carbon deposit troubles, consists Of
injecting oxygen into the cylinders by
means Of a special apparatus. The CYL
inders are first warmed by running the
engine a few minutes, and then. on the
application of a flame. the oxygen
combines with the carbon until the
whole is burnt away. No dismantling
Of the engine is necessary in this
method of Decentralization. which
means a saving of time and trouble.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Non Coal Land. No. 027966.
Notice Of School Indemnify Selection

United States Land ONCE at Great Falls, Mon
tana, July 8, 1912.
Notice IL hereby given that the state of Mon
tans, on June q, 1912, applied for Sh SWk Sec
ton Is, and NEk section IS, township 70 north,
north, range 10 east, Montana meridian, and filed
In this office . list OF school indemnity selections
In which it selected said land, and that said list
10 open to the public for inspection.
Any and ali persons claiming adversely the
above described land or any legal subdivision
Their eof, or claiming the same under the mining
laws, or desiring to show said land to be more
valuable for mineral than for agricultural pur-
poses, or to object to said selection for any law
full reason, should hle their elaine, or sfddavite
of protest or contest in this ONCE.
e. L. BARNES, Register.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Notice for Publication.

United States Land ONCE at Lewistown. Mon
tana, July s, 1912.
Notice 10 hereby given that
JOHN NARY,
OF Fort Benton, Montana, who, on March ~, 1911,
made Homestead entry serial No. 0l347S, for NEk
SEN section ~, ny SWA, NWk SEX sec.
ton q, township 81 north, range ~ east. Mon
tana meridian, has hled notice of intention TO
make hnal commutstion proof, to establish
claim to the land above described, before Chas.
H. Boyle. o.. 8. commissioner, at his Office q
Fort Benton, Montana, on 10th day August, 1912.
Claimant names ~ witnesses: Joseph Jones,
Heinrich Engellant, Herman Engellant, Jakob
F. Hansen, all of hawsrden, Montana.
G. e. McKOIN, Regieter.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
How to Drive Nails to Avoid Splitting

How to Drive Nails to Avoid Splitting.
When It is necessary to drive nails
in places where there is danger OF
splitting and a drill Of the proper size
Is not at hand for starting a hole.
simply file or grind the point OF the
nail to a chisei edge instead of the
regular four sided point, and drive the
nail with the sharp edge thus made
cutting across or at right angles to
the grain Of the wood.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Bids For Coal

Sealed bids for coal will be received by the
trustees of School District No. l up to 6 p. M. on
August s, 1912, for 200 tons mine run coal, more
or less. The coal is to be delivered in basement
of the school house as wanted. The trustees
reserve the right to reject any and all bids. The
shipped, and should be marked on the outside of
the envelope ''Bids for Coal and addressed to
GEO W.. CRANE,
Clerk Of School District No. l.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-07-31
Notice to Contractors.

Notice is hereby given that the board of county
commissioners of Cheuteau county will receive
sealed bids for the grading Of / rs miles of road
on the Nottingham Saw Mill to Fort Benton
county road. Said grading to be on what Is
known as the Morrow lane. Plans and epeclics-
tions Of said grading are on file in the office of
the county surveyor. Bids to be filed with the
county clerk and opened August 5, 1912, at l0
o'clock q. m. The board reserves the right to
reject any or all bids.
By order of the board.
j. LEE sEDGwICK, County Clerk.
july l, 1912,