davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
AStonished Husband,

De Wolfe Hopper tells a good story
about the domestic unhappiness of an
other actor. The hero of the joke was
a man who had married because the
woman had much money, although no
beauty. Naturally, after the wedding
ceremony and the acquisition of the
brides financial resources, the hus-
band was never very attentive to her.
Another member of the company in
which the couple were appearing was,
however, far more appreciative of the
lady's charms, and proceeded to make
love to her in an ardent but stealthy
manner. The grand finale came one
evening when the actor discovered
the other man kissing his wife. The
fond lover stood petri1ed with fear,
and expected to be shot down the
next moment.
No such thing happened. The out
ragged husband only lifted his hands
toward the ceiling with a gesture of
intense surprise, and exclaimed:
"Merciful heavens! And he didp|
even have to-"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
RAE FIRST THEATER IN U. S.
Philadelphia Landmark Being Demol-
lshed-BulIt Against Opposition
In 1889.

Philadelphia.-The building occu-
pied by the first theater in the United
States is being demolished to make
way for a big business establishment.
The early theater was built in 1859
and opened a year later with Hallam's
company Of players from England.
So great was the opposition to a
theater in Philadelphia that the build
ing was located just outside the con
fines Of the city proper, in the old dis
trict of Southwark, in a locality then
in i%ll-repute, known to the wits of the
town as Society HILL" but even
there efforts were made to suppress it.
The theater burned in 1921, but was
rebuilt, and in recent years had been
used as a distillery.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

". N. U, NEW YORK, NO. 12-1ef2.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

over the little boat. Both men saw it
and rushed toward each other. Locked
In each others arms they disappeared
into the curling swell. That was the
last l saw of them"
Niagara also plays the death trap to
hunted as well as hunters. Hundreds
of wild fowls are swept each year over
the falls. During densely foggy nights
strange ducks often stop to roost in
the upper waters Of the river. Drift
ing unconsciously toward the brink,
they are suddenly hurled down into
the abyss Of plunging water.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
Not That Kind,

TT would save a lot Of trouble" said
a newspaper man the other day to
Representative Slayden of Texas, aft
er the Democratic caucus on the
Henry resolution to investigate the
money trust" "if you would allow US
to attend the caucus"
"On the contrary" replied Mr.. Stay
den, with a twinkle in his eye, 81
thought 1t would make a lot of
trouble"
We'll can't you give me an in
terview on 1t, now that the fight is
over?"
NO." answered Mr. Slayden, "It
would be against my principles. 81
never kiss and tell"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
HARD TO DROP
But Many Drop 1t.
will you

A young Calf. wife talks about
coffee:
at was hard to drop Mocha and
Java and give Postum a trial, but my
nerves were so shattered that l was
a nervous wreck and of course that
means all kinds of ills.
Sat first I thought bicycle riding
caused it and I gave it up, but my con-
dition remained unchanged. l did not
want to acknowledge coffee caused the
trouble for 1 was very fond of it.
About that time a friend came to
live with US, and l noticed that after
he had been with US a week he would
not drink his coffee any more. l asked
him the reason. He replied, L have
not had a headache since left off
drinking coffee, some months ago, till
last week, when 1 began again, here at
your table. I don't see how anyone
can like coffee, anyway, after drink
ing Postum!
81 said nothing, but at once ordered
a package Of Postum. That was FIVE
months ago, and we have drank no
coffee since, except on two occasions
when we had company, and the result
each time was that my husband could
not sleep, but lay awake and tossed
and talked half the night. We were
convinced that coffee caused his suf-
fering, so we returned to Postum, con
vinced that the coffee was an enemy,
instead of a friend, and he is troubled
no more by insomnia.
81, myself, have gained 8 pounds In
weight, and my nerves have ceased to
CULVER. 1t seems so easy now to quit
the old coffee that caused our aches
and ills and take up Postum" Name
given by Postum Co., Battle Creek,
Mich.
Read the little book, 1.-THE Road to
MELVILLE" in pkgs. There's a reason"
Ever read the above lettera A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true and full OF human
Interest.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
MADE AUTO EARN ITS KEEP
South Dakotan Uses Machine In Bad
Weather to Complete a Farm
Power Plant.

Bijou Hills, S. DC. B. Dreamer, a
farmer near here, has been able to
make his automobile earn it's keep"
since the roads become too bad for au-
tomobiling. Last fall he took the en-
CINE from his 40-horsepower car and
mounted it upon a substantial base in
a frost proof building. Taking the
governor from his talking machine he
attached it to the engine and has
completed a power plant with which
he grinds feed, shells corr and runs
the churn and grindstone.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
No Wonder She Blushed.

Two of the University of Pennsyl-
vania track runners passed a learned
and preoccupied professor showing a
young woman visitor through the
Gardens"
With a dainty SILVER, the girl re
marked:
Its dreadfully cold-isnt ito be
without s~tockings?"
The professors mind turned for a
moment from contemplation of the
fourth dimension.
Then why did you leave them Off"
he asked.-Lippincott's Magazine.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
Doctor FelIs Footpads.

Pottstown, Pa.-Two would-be high
waymen did not know their man when
they halted DR.. G. Houghton Clapp
while he was driving his automobile
along the lonely Schuylkill road oppo-
site Pottstown. DR.. Clapp is a sturdy
athlete and former member of the JEFF
ferson Medical college football team.
Suspecting their evident intention to
rob him, he felled the two men with
that many blows, and then coolly pro-
ceeded to see his other patients as If
disposing of highwaymen was an every
day job.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
WILL EXPLORE THE DEAD SEA
German Scientists, Headed by Or. Lud.
wig BruhI, to Take Part In
Expedition.

An expedition for thorough scientific
exploration of the Dead Sea has been
arranged. Reports concerning it have
been In circulation for some time, and
now the distinguished scientists who
compose the party are in Jerusalem
and are to embark on a motor boat
which was repaired for the trip on or
about November Is. This boat was
used for the past few years to carry
wheat from the south end of the Dead
Sea to its northern shores, whence it
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
Summer Wear,

Patrick worked for a VIGOROUSLY
stingy boss and lost no chance to
let the fact be known. Once a wag-
gish friend, wishing to twit him, re-
marked:
"Pat, I hear your boss just gave
you a brand-new suit of clothes"
NO." said Pat, only part Of a
suit"
What part?"
1.-THE sleeves ~ the vest!"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

long weeks l was afraid to lie down
on account of the terrible pain in my
back. I took the doctors medicine
regularly but became no better. Then
] began with Doan's Kidney Pills and
was entirely cured. I have had no
trouble with my kidneys since"
when Your Back Is Lame, Remember
the Name-DOAN'S," Soc, all stores.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
No lime Specified.

Two beautifully dressed women
were parting with a ~finger-tip hand
shake.
you must come and see me. Won't
you come and see me some time?"
asked one, with Just the faintest tinge
of eagerness.
yes, 1 will come and see you. I
will come and see you some time"
echoed the other, with not the faint
est tinge of eagerness and with a gla-
cial, acetic acid smile.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
What Is In a Manner

A Chicago mar who hardly knew
one tune from another made the mis-
take of taking a knowing woman to a
concert at Orchestra Hall. The Sc
lections were apparently unfamiliar to
him, but when the Wedding March
of Mendelssohn was being played he
began to evince some interest.
THAT sounds familiar" he said. "T
am not strong on those classical
things, but that's a good one. What
is it?"
That" gravely replied the woman,
SIS the Maiden's Prayer"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
Predicts Many Wars,

Rockford, Ill.-Declaring that the
Monroe doctrine is dead and hat 1--WE
have become a military republic" ].
Hamilton Lewis, speaking here of the
Influence Of the Panama canal" pre-
dicted an era of many wars.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
As It Sounded to Him.

Young Fred was on his way to his
grandmother's home. The train reach
ed a small station.
Bunker HILL" shouted the brake
man, putting his head in at the door.
Bunker Hill"
Mamma, mammal" demanded
Fred. What has she done that they
treat her that way?"
What way, my child7" inquired his
mother.
Why" explained Fred, didn't the
conductor say Bump her heels?"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
Historic Churches Gone.

The Church Of the Madonna della
Guardia at Genoa, Italy, has collapsed,
and, in it's fall, demolished the ada
cent historical Church of San S~tefano,
where Christopher Columbus was bap-
tised.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
When Your EYES Need Care

Try Murine Eye Remedy. No S~marting-Feels
Fine-Acts Quickly. Try it for Red, Weak,
Watery Eyes and Granulated Eyelids. Illus
trated Book in each Package. Murine Is
compounded by our Oculists-not a "Patent Med
used in successful Physicians Prac-
tice for many years. Now dedicated to the Pub
lie and sold by Druggists at Csc and Soc per Bottle.
Murine Eye SalVe in Aseptic Tubes, Csc and Soc.
Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
Neltber Credit Nor DiscredI+

Chicago.-"Smoking or chewing to-
bacco-or both-is neither to a per-
sons credit or discredit," said Judge
Lands in his court In refusing to con
slider total abstinence as ground for
clemency to a convicted mail rif1er.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
They Should,

MY parents used to threaten to
beat some sense into my head"
Those idle threats that parents
never carry out should be discouraged
in every way possible"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

Doctor-You are in pretty bad
bad SHAPE. You must stop going to
those cheap restaurants.
Patient-But, doctor, the prices at
the other places make me still sicker.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
Cold Welcome,

A clergyman in a small town was
deploring the fact that none of the
couples that came in from the coun-
try to be married stopped at his house
for the purpose.
well brother" said the man ad-
dressed, what can you expect with
that big sign on the tree there: Five
dollars fine for h~itching here?'"-
Youths Companion.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
An Eve "a Economy

NOW, remember, key, that vos a
goot glass eye you've got. Always
take it out and put it in your pocket
when you amt looking at holdings"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

A vary successful remedy for pelvic
catarrh is hot douches of Paxtine An
tiseptic, st druggists, Csc a box or sent
postpaid on receipt of price by The
Paxton Toilet, Co, Boston, Mass.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
Possibly the Day MAY Come.

To possess more than O can en-
Joy should be regarded as being as
Vicious and vulgar as to eat more
han o can digest or drink, more
ehan you can carry.-Exchang
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

Mother Gray's sweet Powders for Children Break
up Colds in "a hours, relieve Feverishness, Head.
ache, Stomach Troubles, Teething Disorders, move
and regulate the bowels, and Destroy Worms. They
are so pleasant to take children like them. Used by
mothers for % years. At all druggists, $50. Sample
mailed FREE. Address, A. s. Olmsted, Leroy, NY.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

in the raw spring
months. They stop
backache and urinary
disorders, keep the
kidneys well and pre-
vent colds from set
ting on the kidneys.
Mrs. E. Bates, SO Jay
St., P~oughkeepsie N.
Y, says: "a cold
started my kidney
trouble and for five
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
Final Recourse,

"Do you want to get a hearing in
this court?" shouted the magistrate.
Sure, sir" replied the very deaf
defendant.
Then" yelled the magistrate, with
a last mighty effort, you will have to
go to a specialist"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

Peck claims that when he married
he was mislead."
Eyes, and now he is Mrs lied"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
Clever Youth,

"Do you know" he said, that every
time I look at you I have thoughts Of
revenge?"
"Why?" she gasped.
Because" he answered, revenge Is
sweet"
Then she told him she thought to-
morrow would be a good time to see
papa.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

IS a corrective for indigestion and q regu-
or OF the system, no remedy can excel in
purity and efficiency Garfield Tea.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

Love laughs at ~locksmiths, but it
sometimes cries over spilled milk.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

The spirit of the snob sends a vast
number Of people to the place where
human rubbish is tipped.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
Summing II Up.

"Was the charity ball a ~success?"
"Oh, yes, indeed. They say the
gowns must have cost a half million
at least"
"And how much was raised for
charity?"
why, nearly 500. Wasn't that
finer"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

success as a tonic and body builder, for
healing throat and lungs and in the
treatment Of coughs and colds. Father
Johns Medicine is a doctors prescrip-
tfon,-pure and wholesome. Guaran-
teed.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

When baby has the Group give Hoxsie's Group
remedy. II is positive, swift and sure to cure.
No opium. Guaranteed by A. P. uoxsie. 50 cents,
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

Virtue may be its own reward, but
the reward isn't always legal tender
at the corner grocery.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

When the Millennium comes Garfield Tea
and Holy Church will not be longer needed.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

ONLY ONE "BROMO OUININE.~
That is LAXATIVE RON QUININE Look for
the signature Of 3: W, GROVE. Used the World
over to Cure a Cold in One Day. 25c.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

Mrs. Wtnslowp Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums. reduces inhamna.
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie, Csc a bottle.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

MI. Hardhead-I have called, sir, to
ask for the hand Of your daughter.
Old Gentleman with emotion)-
She is the only child I have, and her
mother is gone.
Mr.. Hardhead (hastily)-Oh, that's
no objection, I assure you.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
Be CAREFUL WHAT
YOU TAKE FOR COLDS

The danger
in using pat
ent medicines
Is from the
stimulants and
d a n 6 Q o u 8
drugs which
many of them
depend on for
their tempo
rary effect.
Because it is
free from al
cohol, a
cotics a n d
d a n G erou 8
drugs, Father
Johns Medi-
cine has had
81 Naarc Of
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

Every one is liable to a bilious attack. Be
forearmed with a package of Garfield Tea.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

pected by those who use Garfield Tea, the
natural herb regulator. For sale at ell drug
stores,
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
COLDS AND cHILLs
BRING KIDNEY ILLS.

Colds, chills and grip strain the
kidneys and start backache, urinary
disorders and uric acid troubles.
Doan's Kidney Pills are very useful
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

Women

When shown positive and reliable proof that a certain
remedy had cured many cases of female ills, wouldn't any
sensible woman conclude that the same remedy would also
benefit her if suffering with the same trouble?
Here are five letters from southern women which prove
the efficiency Of Lydia E. Pinkhamis Vegetable Compound.
LETTER FROM VIRGINIA.
Eliston, va-"I feel it my duty to express my thanks to you and your
great medicine. Iwasa sufferer from female troubles and had been con-
fined in bed over me third of my time for ten months. L could not do my
housework and had faining spells so that my husband could not leave me
alone for five minutes at a time.
Nov I owe my health to Lydia E. Pinkhams Vegetable Compound and
Blood Purifier. Whenever l see a suffering woman l want to tell her what
these medicines have done for m e and | will always speak good word for
them."-Mrs. ROBERT BLANKENsHuP, Elliston, Montgomery Co, Va
LETTER FROM LOUISIANA
New Orleans, La was passing through the Change of Life and be-
fore l took Lydia E. Pinkhams Vegetable Compound 1 was troubled with
get up in the morning feeling tired out and not fit to do anything.
Since nave been taking your Compound and Blood Purifier I feel all
BLoNDEAU, 141 Polymnia st, New Orleans, La
LETTER FROM FLORIDA
Wauchu1a, Fa-"Some time ago L wrote to you giving you my symp-
toms headache, backache, bearingdown, and discomfort in walking, caused
81 got two bottles of Lydia E Pnkhams Vegetable Compound and a
package OF anat5V Wash and hat as all used to MAKE me well woman;
not taken your remedies L would have been a great sufferer. But 1 started
either. 1 feel that you ae a friend to all women and 1 would rather use
your remedies than have a doctor."-Mrs MATTE HoDNor, Box 4e, Wau-
LETTER FROM WEST VIRGINIA.
Martnsburg, W. Val am glad to say that Lydia E. Pinkhams vege
table Compound has done wonders for my mother, daughter and myself.
abe bea ears = Girl plc @m mpIani PP With h@ cramps o asb els Pbe er to t sS v vos con
pound"-Mrs MARY A. HocKnNBERBY, 712 N. ad St, Martnsburg, W. Va
ANOTHER LETTER FROM VIRGINIA.
Newport News, va-"About five years ago was troubled with such pains
"a friend told me to take Lydia E. Pinkhams Vegetable Compound and
/ soon found relief. The medicine strengthened me in every way and my
Il viii be glad if my testimony will help som n who is suffering
News, Va.
Why don't you try this reliable remedy?
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
lntoxIcants From Many Sources.

intoxicating liquors have been made
from the sap of the birch. the willow,
the poplar and the sycamore.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

Some people love to tell the truth
when they think it will hurt.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

Bad luck is often but another nam,
for poor management. y
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

1t often happens that when a man
knows his duty he tries to stave 1t OF
by seeking advice.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

"Pink Eye" Is Epidemic In the Spring.
Try Murine Eye Remedy for Reliable Relic
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

PILES CURED IN 6 TO IA DAYS
Your druggist will refund money If PAZO ONT
MBNT fails to cure any, case of Itching, Blind,
Bleeding or ProtrudingP Piles in 6 to Ii days. SOC.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

No, Alonzo, a girl isn't necessarily
an angel because she is a high flyer
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
Quite So,

PA, what is a tidy fortuneT"
"A clean, crisp, ten-dollar bill, my
SON." I
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

II you are poorer than your rela-
lions 1t is easy for you to dodge them.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

Many a man can't afford to dress
well because his wife does.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
ParIez-Vous FrsncaIsY

She-Well, yes; but only enough to
make herself NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

Usually a man is a poor judge OF
his own Importance.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

Some men give a dollar with one
hand and grab two with the other.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

Some women are passing fair-and
some others cannot pass.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
Up TO the Minute,

We'll, she has succeeded in doing
the latest thing, anyhow"
Whats that?"
"Eloped with her fathers aviator"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

A Diplomat.
Don't ask a girl for a kiss IN
less"
Unless you want one?"
mo, unless you don't"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22
REAL ESTATE

RUY YOURSELF A FARM OR Rancho
- Dawes County, Sebra ska, 1.-The land of ipdepen-
dence" and be independent, Farms kl0up. Ranches
81 up. Increase in valuation alone win make you
rich. Excellent climate, water and soil. Write foE
free book of descriptions and prices and state map
Arab L. Hungerford, Crawford, Dawes Co., Nea.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-03-22

The Girl (who has been suffering
from sore throat)-The doctor told
me that l must never talk for more
than two minutes at a time.
The Man-How delightful! Darling,
will you marry me?
Evening journal., 1912-02-07
WEST CHURCH NOTES

The Teachers Lesson Study Class
which meets every Wednesday even
ing at West Presbyterian Church is
being more widely patronized this
season than ever before. The class
meets at 7.30. is taught by the Rev.
Alexander Alison. Jr., and is open 10
all who desire to study the lesson.
In the Mid-Week Prayer Meeting
which meets on Wednesday evening
at SIS o'clock the pastor has been
giving a series of studies in the Acts
of the Apostles. The study this week
will be in the 18th chapter on Chris
tianity and Philosophy" There will
be music by the,Young Peoples Choir.
The committee having in charge the
February meeting of the Woman's
Missionary Society to be held on
Thursday afternoon at 2.3O, has pro-
vided rare treat for the members
and their friends The Jubilee Sing
ers from Lincoln University. Oxford,
Pa. have been secured to present the
major part Of the program.
Miss Grace Baird and her Happy
Workers Mission Band Children.
nearly 200 strong, will have on Sat
urday afternoon at 3 o'clock their an
nual thank offering meeting. II will
be a Valentine Day affair.
Evening journal., 1912-02-07
CONNECT ADDICKS
WITH SWAIN CASE

There was report about town to-
day that J. Edward Addicks may ap-
pear as a witness on Friday before the
subcommittee of the Senate judiciary
committee at Washington that is in
vestigating protest that Cornelius
p Swain is an unfit man TO be appoint
ed United States Marshal
Willard Salisbury, who filed the
protest against Mr.. swains conhrma
tion, and Former Judge Daniel o.
Hastings. who is of counsel for Mr..
Swain. today said that they did not
know Of Mr. Addicks being summoned
In another source, however, ii was
intlmated that Addioks might bob up
voluntarily to TESTIFY
Mr. Salisbury returned from Wash
ington yesterday. He had been in con
ference there with some Democratic
Senators about the swain case. Whoth-
er Former Senator Alice, Dr Layton
and others he desires as witnesses
have been summoned Mr.. Salisbury
said he did not know. IL was said TO.
day that the Senate committee has de-
cided to limit the number OF witnesses
In addition to many witnesses Il ia
understood that the defense will have
some affidavits TO present on Friday
There are reports that some interest.
ing phases of campaign conditions may
be unfoldod that will bring In the
names OF leaders of both parties.