Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06
By NJ QUAD


tavern keeping easy and profitable. 1t
wasn't six weeks before he learned to
the contrary. 1t was easy enough, for
he had nothing 10 do, but he looked In
vain for the profits.
One summers day Uncle John sat
doing and thinking. 1t was a hot day,
and the town was dead. Nothing
buzzed but the flies. Uncle John
would have been asleep in five min
utes more but for the arrival of a
stranger on foot The arrival was
dusty and ragged. If he wasn't a
tramp then Uncle John never saw one.
He was motioned to go around to the
kitchen for a cold bite, but he sat
down and said:
"A little business talk with you first,
and then I'll take the best room in the
house and eat my meals in the dining
room"
Il can't hire no tramps," said Uncle
John.
But it may be that shall hire you.
Lead the way"
The fellow had a compelling way
with him. Uncle John led the way
upstairs, and he picked up his bundle
and followed. AS they entered a room
he locked the door on them and then
sat down for talk
When the talk was finished he
brought shears and razor and cut the
strangers hair and shaved him. Then
the old bundle was opened and fair
ly decent suit brought out. What 1t
lacked was supplied by mine host Re-
sult-a decent looking guest instead
of disreputable tramp. He appeared
downstairs just after the train came
In, and Mrs. White thought he came
by 1t. So did the villagers who stray
gled In after supper for glass of beer
and bit of gossip John Taylor had
arriVed--best room in the house-paid
a week in advance-no doubt a man of
meins-was mum as to his business
probably had some big enterprise on
hand. 1t was two weeks before the
nature of that enterprise was learned.
Uncle John had b sell a horse first,
and advertisements had to be written
and placed. 1t was also necessary for
tie editor of the local paper to make
writeup. The advertisement inserted
in various newspapers read:
"a would be philanthropist stands
ready to make a gift Of S1.000,000 for
the best interests of society but would
like personal advioeI No letters. Shall
1t be colleges, schools, asylums. hos
pitfalls. homes or gifts to widows?
Then the name of Mr.. Taylor and
the village were given. Uncle John
was running ten room tavern-that
is, only ten out of the forty rooms
were furnished. He bought, hired and
borrowed furniture for the other thirty
rooms He bought crockery and cut
lery and hired a cock and waiter.
He ordered extra kegs of beer and
raised his rates fromg$1 day to Just
double. 1t took sand TO do II. Mrs.
White was not let intD the secret, and
she almost went crazy
One day ten strangers got of AT the
depot and asked for TIA. r. The next
day there We're twenty. On the third
day Uncle John had to distribute his
guests around among the villagers. lie
was here. there and everywhere, look
ing for judgment day. AS for Mr..
Taylor. he was cool--eool and smiling.
lie had office hours from 0 a. IN. to.5
p. m. He gave each patient" one
hour That made eight per day. The
rule was rigid, and the others must
wait Therefore a conner might have
to wait five or six days for his inter
view. Meanwhile he had TO eat and
sleep al pay 81 per day.
Straf gers who knew just how that
million ought to be expended to do
the Jrld the most good kept coming
by cry train. There was no other
tave n: there was no other Mr. Taylor;
there was no other place ii town
where beer and cigars were sold. Col
leges. hospitals. asylums and every
sort of public institution sent repre-
Politicians came to get
that million TO start reform. Men came
who wanted to found pew religions.
Widows wanted cash. and townships
and counties wanted highway i'm
For two months they
came and went They slept where
they could and ate what was set be-
fore them Then the tide began to
thin out. and there was more adver-
Using This time the advertisement
read:
ANY inventor having a good thing
or any person having an idea that can
be turned into cash win find man and
money ready"
And then ii was the rush all over
again. Inventors brought their models,
and there was barn full of them.
Others brought their ideas, and they
were too numerous 10 be listed. For
five long months Uncle Johns tav-
ern hadn't room or place III the
'ablc to spare. Then along came a
man to buy him out
Sell and set ont" advised Mr. Tay
icr
The advice was followed.
Now we win figure up and whack
up"
1t was done Mrs White smiled.
t,..' John rubbed his hands. and
he tranger grlnned Uncle Johns
ta> ern has a new name and new
proprietor now. It Is not forty room
tavern any more. II. IS five room