The Wagner leader. (Wagner, Charles Mix County, S.D.) 1912-1912, 1912-03-15

We lHIuk ABOUT you Only.
Down In the dismal. darksome depths
In YOU most humble station
You cheerfully perform your task.
And ask for no vacation.
A faithful servant. tried and true.
We think 1t right to mention
The fact we think your masters should
Retire you on a pension.
You click and chatter all the day
And seem to tire out never.
For men may come n mel may 80.
But you go on forever.
FROM THE HIcKEYvLLE
CLARION.
Am Hilliker q IL there Is anything
on earth he would rather do than some
thing else, II is to rose for a dentist for
q set OF teeth or q few lead filings.
/ He got into Doc Bink's chair havin'
| clean plum forgot about that balky
boss he let Doc have ON trade o u
| years ago and what Doc did to him
was a plenty. He sent out and got q
| set OF burglar tools to yank AIMS teeth
| with and said he was sorry. but he
was all out'n chioroform and ether
and laffing gas. Every time he thought
| OF that balky boss he hit Am an extra
clip % 70 with the maui. Then he let
Am 60 without any teeth at all for
| about six weeks and Am had to live on
sour and mush n milk until he got so
WOAA IC = w A(V( = 80 -
any more TO ask for the teeth. Finally
Doc got q set from q mail order house
and they didn't at AIMS face. but Am
ts wearin' 'em although his mouth is
around under his left a and he can't
shet II nohow. His wife makes him
put 'em In the chiny closet with the
rest OF the chiny every night.
Miss Pansy Tubbs desires to an
nounce that the rumor to the effect
that she Is engaged to Ansel Perkins
Is premature. as he amt asked her yet
and she Is going to turn him down
when he does There doesn't seem to
be anything further to say In regard
to the matter and any editorial COM
ment by the Clarion would be super
fiuous-
Hod Peters youngest kid planted
some bird seed last fall and expects to
raise a flock OF canaries this coming
season.
Hank Purdy a IT seems durn
strange that, although congress keeps
adding more states, the map of this
country don't get no bigger.
Hi Haskin's brother. who Is the liv-
ing skellington for a circus in the sum-
mer r Is so thin that you kin play
q June on his ribs with a couple of
maflets Just like a zylaphone. A very
sad accident took place to Deacon
Purdy's n day last week as
TIC QG8IOH WIS 0u Ills WAY nOme IRON
b gruCery store with q Jug Of cider In
n hand and a dozen Of eggs in the
other. The sidewalk IA some slicker-
tsh in from Of Am Perkins barbershop
and deacon sat down quite sudden,
suffering h fracture OF about a dozen
ribs and the dozen eggs. The deacon
says he don't mind Dustin the ribs, but
eggs Is eggs these days. The deacon
also suffered a compound fracture OF
the cider jug. The jug was all busted
up. but the cider was 70 hard It didn't
break
Owing to the high price Of meat, the
Supreme Knights of the Universe has
felt called upon to sacraflce their lodge
goat and there will be q barbecue In
b lodge hall up rel the drug store
next Tuesday evening. Amos Butts,
tur gentlemanly undertaken, also livery,
ssed and sales stables, has got one Of
hem big calendars which just gives
ane date on each sheet and Amos says
ae can't eve keep track OF what day
II Is. for he can't remember whether he
pulled the sheet on OF left II on. Four
lays went by last week unbeknown to
Amos and he missed q funeral by two
days. but II didn't make such diner
ence - Amos il the only undertaken
here and b late deceased had to wait
Ter him.
Nick Longwortn announces that he il
supporting Taft still. and that is one
OF the best ways for Nick to support
anybody.
In Missouri this week. She ought to
be able to reach the high cost OF living.
There are a lot OF presidential pos
sibilities who will have to 90 back To
work again next summer.
But doubtless he would raen~4 be
called the eminent Roosevelt than the
imn{nent Roosevelt.
Th0sA seems to be room now for a
democratic Ananias club.
A New York woman rescued q man
from the slums ans then married him.
That may or may not be considered 8
rather doubtful sort OF rescue.
But China will never be q republic
ike the United States until 1t adopts
baseball az its one absorbing passion.
Ohio win have a new constitution
Her old n Is terribly run down, es-
pecially by the magazine writer's.
Mr.. Edison says Chicago Is dirty.
that remark. BY the way. IL not an
invention.
LAvin, pictures was given at our opry
Hank Purdy and Hod Renfrew posed
for The Rasslers." and Hod reached
into Hanks back pocket fer 10 get
Hanks bottle while they was In
clinch and Hank soaked Hod ON the
0uGl0 something desperate. That wao
he o successful picture OF the eve
ming when Il got to going good and
Constable Ezra Whipple busted into it
just In time to- 30 salin' through the
winder and ont on Z snowbank. That
wa the last picture Of the evening. n
somebody turned m = m alarm and
everybody had "a % & the nre, which
was 4 nsxle and wasn't half - good
a. the pictures.
Mim Euphem1n Perk1ns. our poetesa
Of passion. has won four packages Of
tchacker for sending In the best poem
about pride OF tho Gravel Train
amokin.. which will b used for adver-
tisin' purposes Colonel Nudge sayu
there amt nothing like having 4 tai
enked daughter ID the family, a. h<
probably won't have to hit the box Of
free mnOkins t0backer down 10 Hilli-
k0rs store Tor two or three weeks.
Nf6o Mudgess prize winning poem
wa9 ~ 1o11oWm. towif.
There was . rad accident at the
pustoffce che other day. Pustmasteu
Hilfker Mas writing = Cumming letter
to friend ~ hisfn who had owed him
bEl TOR nlne years and he upset thu
There va = nsd flre the other night u
Anse Purdy's ccxncrib. but Wide Awake