davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

LF'rom the Chicago NeWs-J
Anyway. bass drum browns a lot of
bad music.
Some men run for office and others win
in a walk
1t doesn't take a fast young man long
to run through a fortune
Fortunate is the woman who knows
her husband like a checkbook.
The coat may not make the man, but
a lawsuit may unmake him.
Pin your faith to some people and
they'll use the pin to stick you
It's easy for a man to go wrong If he
has no particular aim in life.
If a man could only live rich he would
have no objection to dying poor
You need not worry about giving his
Satanic majesty his due; he'll get it
And most of the things get for
nothing soon find their way to the dump
Many a poor man is mistaken for
genius when all that ais him IS bilious
ness.
1t is often difficult for a man in love
to distinguish between peach and a
lemon.
How often you hear this said of a
woman: ''She can't get along with her
neighbors
According to reports. there are now 20
active volcanoes in the world-not 1nciud-
ing the political spellbinders-
While the majority of US know good
thing when We see it. some other fellow
usually manages to see 1t tirst -.
Tommy-.Pop, what is diplomatist?
Tommy's Pop-t'A diplomatist, my son, Is
a man who, il he finds he can't have ms
own way, pretends the other way IS ms
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08
SAYS UNCLE CAV

The proudest man I ever knew re-
minded me of the toads in "Chante-
cler" who boosted of their warts, say
ing that they were tsem bossed by the
hands of God" Since then I have
wondered if, at all, some of my men
tai and moral beauty spots were not
warts.
Most of us are prey to a very Sc
ductive sort of conceit which causes
us to imagine that whatever is ours
is perfect. The worst bungler in the
shop is likely to be proudest of his
skill; the most faded woman the vain
est of her looks; the veriest lackwit
to boast of his bonmot, and the most
hopeless narplot to imagine h1mself
a master of diplomacy.
It is your Mrs. Ma1aprop who talks
1oudest and longest and who is hap
piest in the delusion that she is max
ing most favorable impression 1t
is your brainless fop or your shallow
souled sentimentalist who burdens the
air with thanks that he is not as other
men.
Beware of the virtue that vaunts
itself 1t may be only vice that calls
for eradication rather than cultivation.
Don't be too sure that your habits, your
opinions, your work. are the best. Or,
if you feel sure, keep your conclusion
to yourself. If your beauty spots are
warts. YOUR neighbors will get used to
them. In time they laugh less at them
than they would at your asinine boast
that your faults are marks or divine
favor=( Copyright, 1912, by w E.
WiIliamao
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08
ADKERTLSKNc TALKS
BY WILLIAM c. FREEMAN

had call the other day from young
advertising man who did not agree with
only really effective way for any manu-
facturer to secure a market for his pro-
duct was to take up communities at a
time, as he could afford, and advertise
in the local newspapers.
Then, after the product was thoroughly
distributed, as IL would be by this
method, commence an advertising CAM
paign in the publications with national
Calculations to supplement his newspaper
advertising
method of procedure ought to be re-
versed-that no successful general adver-
Using campaign had ever been started by
the use of newspapers In the smaller
cities. and that it was in the large cities
that the successful campaigns had al
ways been started.
Yet I know OF one very successful gem
eral advertiser who started adverttH-
ing campaign in the local newspapers or
a small western city That is the Royal
Baking Powder company. Their first adj
vertisinR appeared in the local neWspa-
pers OF Fort Wayne. Ind.
I don't think anybody can question the
success of Royal Baking powder, or IT.
wide general distribution
The trouble with the manufacturers OF
TIE country is that they have gotten into
the habit of starting their ADVERTISING
campaigns in the big weekly and monthly
publications-and habit is a hard thing 70
break away from
BUT they are slowly beginning to realize
that unless they have their product on
sale pretty generally throughout the
country, a good part of the circulation or
these national publications Is, necessarily,
OF no value to them.
And 1t is to the advertising columns o.
the daily newspapers that they must turn
to get general distribution, which viii en-
able them to tell the consumer in differ
ent territories where their product may
be bought in that particular community
II is only question OF time when the
necessity Of newspaper advertising for
national product will become evident 70
all, and then newspapers will come into
their own
CTo be continued-)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08
LINES 10 MAJOR ANDERSON.

LINES TO MAJOR ANDERSON.
When the news was herald broadcast
That Major Anderson was Dead
Full many heart was downcast,
And full many tear was she'd
His life was filled with good deeds.
he lived not for himself
Restricted not by church creeds
Nor greed for sordid pelf-
When Topeka wanted something
Tom was the one to always trust,
And it never found him tagging,
Fen though he left his pillow to rust.
He was ready with his basket,
In times of drouth or flood to feed,
Because he knew their pressing need
And no enterprise went under
When Major Tom was called to help,
For he seldom made a blunder,
Or failed TO keep it off the shelf
When soldier he was peerless
In trying years so long gone by,
When war took men who were fearless
Men not afraid to do and die.
Through all that awful bloody strife,
To save the union firm and strong,
He gave the best years of his life
To help that sacred cause along.
His work Of life and love is past.
The Modocs sang a parting ode,
And MaSonS at his grave, the last
Commend his faithful soul to God.
For him who never will return
Friends wept before a ray1ess sun
And homeward mournful steps they turn
AS drum beats taps, it's done, tbs done
FREDERICK NJ. KIMBALL-
Topeka, Kan.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Make fewer promises and you'll
have less trouble.
Most people who are economical are
not that way from choice, but from
necessity.
Tt.s particularly bad taste to attempt
to cheer a sick man by singing hymns
appropriate for funerals.
Il X
The wise young man OF ordinary
means will hesitate about marrying
girl whose father has given her an
auto.
one continual round of pleasure be
comes even more monotonous ana IN
sstisfa ctorv than one continual round
of work.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

ever, he has little use for the man VINO
would base his views upon straw votes
for this is what he says:
Renewal of the agitation for
presidential primary in Kansas may De
traced directly back to the scare
thrown into the opponents OF Presioent
Taft by the Kansas Day club Every
possible effort to minimize the erect OF
the Kansas Day meeting has been made
by the insurgents But the TACT re-
mains that 800 Republicans foregatner-
ed from every nook and corner of the
state 'hollered' themselves hoarse for
Taft and it is difficult to minimize
political expression of that kind The
majority of those who attended the
banquet were young men, active WORK
ing Republicans who have influence IN
their respective communities. and the
crowd included the Republican chair
men of more than ha7r the counties
in the state
That ought to hold the insurgents
tighter together than a habeas corpus,
for while.
He takes another "cinch" on
stronger than straw rope as follows:
Meanwhile, it is extremely difficult
for the impartial observer to discover
that the Roosevelt boom is getting any
where. 1t is making a tremendous
noise, but is getting nothing IN the
way of results. In Chicago Saturday,
nome
chief source of the Roosevelt propa-
ganda Cook county Republicans as
sembled in a delegate convention, KICK
ed a hole in the Stats of the Roose-
Welt boom through which Newtounu-
land dog could have been propelled. On
Saturday morning the Chicago tribune
chief organ of the Roosevelt boomers
predicted that Roosevelt would pc en-
dorsed in the convention by a vote o1
to l. That afternoon the convention
endorsed Taft by a vote of SIS to 1876
And taking it the country over. IN every
single instance in which Taft and
Roosevelt forces have ciashed ofhclally
the Taft forces have Won
IT do not believe that even my Bit
terest enemies will say that I was ever
a deserter.r Colonel Roosevelt is said
TO have remarked to the publisher or
the Pittsburg Leader, according TO ar
interview given out today by Mr.. Moore
lyon can say to the Progressives," MI
Roosevelt is said to have continued,
"that I will not desert the cause, and
that they will find me fighting side by
side with them to the finish.
The man who has proved the most
practical Progressive in this country
TODAY is President Taft, and when TaIO
is nominated, you can depend upon II,
he will be Loyalty supported by CoIonel
Roosevelt, who will not desert the re
publican cause, nor desert the man
who has written his Progressive planks
into enactments-
OF course the colonel may not have
been correctly quoted but you can
.rbank on it, that he is no deserter
and that he will fight things out on
the line of battle he draws, when he
picks up the gauge. He is progressive
all right, but eminently practical and
! regular
(chapter xcI Tomorrow
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08
DAFFYDHS

When a woman on the witness stand
gets talking at full speed can the court
reporter
mr.. Bailiff. a little more air please
The jury is almost down and out)
When the early spring flowers are
due will the snow-drop?
dynch him! Lynch him. He persists
in cracking Jokes)
If a key fails to work does the lock-
jaw?
(Cheer upi The worst is probably yet
to Gomez
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08
rHE SUCCESSFUL NJ.
FROM OTHER PENS
cOLLEGB REGULATION.


College registration statistics for the
current year are now at hand. It appears
that the largest student body in the Unit
ed States belongs to Columbia. On the
basis of fall term enrolment the largest
u American universities in 1911 were as
follows: Columbia, $3.50; Cornell, 4Se9'
Michigan 4,7S3; Harvard, 4,724; Pennsyi-
vania,, 4.71S; Illinois. 1870. Minnesota
1907; California. 4051; Wisconsin, 1856;
New York, s,6SS; Northwestern. 1887; Yale.
1924. Princeton is twenty-second with
1543 students, and Johns Hopkins last.
with TAO students. The student body OF
the q institutions amounted to something
over 100000. These figures VIII be consid-
erably increased by the students enter
ing in the second term. The number of
second term entrants is steadily increas-
ing at the larger institutions. America
totals of attendance are much exceeded
at certain foreign universities The Uni
versity of Paris, for instance, which APP
pears to hold the worlds record, had
during the winter of 1909-1O no fewer than
1872 students. 1t is interesting to note
the statistics OF attendance at American
colleges for women. The 1911 fail enroll
ment at Smith 1.508: at Wellesley.
1, 433; at Mount Holyoke. III, and at Bryn
Mawr, 40. The Smith attendants fell on
somewhat from last year: the other three
showed an increase of students.-Milwau-
kee Wisconsin
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08
RY THE WAY
BY HARVEY PARSONS.

The report that the Florida Repub-
Ican convention has split, is not SO
important as it might SEEM 1t taxes
about all the Republicans in Florida TO
hold convention, and to split the same
is good deal like splitting hair or
cigarette paper.
AS we understand it, DR.. Bob Stew
art is being sued for prescribing milk
shake.
The burning of several loads of jack
rabbit ears out at Hill City would IN
dictate that the inventors are neglect
ing the Main Chance. Otherwise they
would have invented some way to utIl-
ize the rabbit ears in the manufacture
of breakfast food.
La FoIlette's manager says that Hon
Bob will back out And it is VIDE
spread theory that the return trip Is
not of sufficient length to greatly 1au-
que him.
Gompers says he was quoting from
Shakespeare, and not Intentionally
tutes a defense, the courts should MI
their ears with cotton. A student OF
Shakespeare could give a court one OF
the highest grade ''cussings" on recoIu
without departing in the least from the
late Bard of Avon's text.
While the bath tub trust investiga-
ton is on, it might be well to look Tor
an answer to the fact that modern pain
tubs are SO short that man OF aver
age length has to wash himself on the
installment plan.
Pupils of the city schools are to be
given q course in gardening 1t is
subject in which the kids Will take
great interest-until the opening OF the
gardening season
Book review: This department has
inspected and passed Doc Crumblne
Pasteurized Paragraphs of Pure Phil
osophy. AS the book is for free dis
tribution, it should De widely read.
Among other good advice in the book
may be found the Docs famous ad-
vice to those having swatable flies In
stock.
The Standard Oil company was d.
vided according to court order, but as
usual TIT unfortunate siTnp, Con
Sumer, got the Indians share in the
division.
When the King and Queen of Eng
land got home, they We're greeted with
salvO upon salvo of cheering. we
have always been curious to know Just
how much cheering is contained in
one salvo.
Maybe the politicians keep talking
about war and financial ruin because
the voters are so busy that 1t takes
some kind of a scare to attract their
attention
Buff Rockington chicken is a cock
erel'' while a plain chicken, with no
capital letters in his name is a young
rooster" at the same age?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
LFrom the New York Press-1

TFrom the New York Press-I
man who is too good to trick any
BODY in a horse deal also doesn't know
how.
The man who is competent to fill a job
is too busy doing it TO stop and tell how
he can.
What a girl hates about sleigh riding is
the disgustingly comfortable things she
has to wear
When a girl doesn't get letter she
was expecting it's a sign she can cry
about it to show she doesn't care.
4 man can't fix his furnace without
rav-iue. when he does it. about how bad
ii is and lying afterwards about how good
il is
In qualifying for the engagement ring
many a young man has found it neces-
sary to select a pawnbroker as his time
keeper
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

There is nothing so extraordinary in
the charges of fraud in connection with
one of the shoe contracts for Uncle
Sans soldiers Was there ever an
army contract of any kind in any land
against which there was not at least
. suspicion of fraud? Bilking gov
ernments seem to be a perfectly le-
sitimate pursuit in the minds OF most
people who have a chance to transact
business with them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

EngIand's populace is again highly
fnflamed against Germany because the
latter has in orisoned a British sub
dect. after a snap trial. on charge OF
espionage. 1t is beginning to look as
though the peoples of England and
GERMANY will never rest content until
their countries have measured swords
So the sooner they fight and get it over
with. the better it will be for them
and all the rest of the world.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

Criticism against the new football
rules that they will not give a weaker
team much of chance does not APP
pear to be well founded Is it reason
able that the rules of any sport should
so be juggled that weaker team
should have any greater chance than
its weakness deserves against SUI
Derior rival?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

Mfnnesota's Progressive League hav-
ing announced that it will stand by
the presidential candidacy Of La Fol
lette. the chances are better than ever
that the Minnesota delegation to the
Republican national convention will be
for President Taft. If there ever was
a dead horse in the United States po-
litical arena, it is this same La Fol-
1ette
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

News comes from Nevada that the
law licensing prize-hghts may be re
pealed. This may deny to Nevada the
privilege and pleasure of being the
scene of the Johnson-Flynn bout. But
why should Nevada or any portion OF
it look on such a possibility as any
thing akin to a calamity? She still
has her Reno. That's a sufhciency OF
fame
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

Cruel and inhuman punishment IS
taboo in these United States And
yet a California judge has declared
that a boy burglar who came before
him can only escape prison sentence
by agreeing to exile himself in Aus
4ralfa for five wears.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

Why should congress get 50 excited
over this third presidential term bus
mess? There is no evidence that any
one in this country is seeking third
term If that sort. Why cross bridges
until thew are reached?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

Kansas farmers who are smiling
with unusual satisfaction these days
are the ones who held onto goodly
port ons of their wheat crops for last
season. They are getting better than
q dollar bushel for the golden
cereal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

If the magnates of the Western
league are too vigorous with the axe
IN chopping the salaries of their play
ers. it is likely that the public which
patronizes this league will be treated
TO nroportionate baIl-pIaying.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

An extra cheer should be given by
the men and boys of Topeka for Har-
old Greider, the honor student of the
high school graduating class. It's a
long time since this distinction has
been carried OF by male of the
z1aofoz
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

And suppose Colonel Roosevelt did
tell Governor Stubs he considered it
the duty of every American to answer
his country's call There is some diff
ference between a country's call and
the noisy shouts of a few designing
politicians who have their eyes always
on any move that will enhance their
chances for further political prefer
1nent. Nor is Colonel Roosevelt 50
inexperienced at the political game as
not to recognize this important fact.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08
FULL TEAGFD WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED Pl<I.--

incidentally, the appointment of
Governor Herrick as ambassador
to France is pretty conclusive evidence
that he has plenty of money with
which he does not know what to do.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

Coincident with the announcement
that Kubelik intended to retire to pri-
waite life comes the news that Sarah
Bernhard is to make another tour
of this country. in vaudeville This
suggests that perhaps Kubelik's re-
tirement is of the same kind that Nine.
Bernhard has INDUCED in repeatedly
AS a matter of fact, it is against hui
man nature for any artist to retire
to the Joys of private life as long as
he or she is able to draw crowds to-
gether at two dollars per head.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

ne WoRLp NOW.

While the empress dowager Of the Chi
nese empire was writing letters 70 her
friends saying that she was thinking OF
abdicating. Cinnamon crowded into the
throne room and pumped down into the
ruling chair. While the lady was trying
to make up her mind that II was coming
to the time when a change OF climate
would be good for her health, Cinnamon
had taken the rcins Of government ana
had forgotten there was a dowager-
This is illustrative OF the tact tnat the
world moves some these days The dow
ager couldn't realize that IL was up 10
her to move until the day OF grace was
past and the rent was due. Imperialism
was about to be doomed. Old emma
thought, and New China already had IL
buried with the past and the ne" oroeF
of things eating political pic.
1t took China several thousand years
to find out what was the matter Win it,
and education finally brought ABOUT lne
the job, when all that was LETT was an
empty honor. the parade was past ana the
the strecA leading the hosts OF the heN
olution. The Manchu government sent
word 1t was still fighting, when daily pa
pers issued special editions, telling or the
new order of things and how Manchu
government was only memory.
The Chinese dynasty was "a long time
falling but the fan recorded has been "A
long one and hard one It viii never re-
cover from the hurt.-Hutchinson news
o.
THE SUCCESSFUL MAN
A man who has made happy home
for Ids wife and children no matter what
he has not done in the way of achieving
wealth and honor; il he has done that no
is a grand success. If he has not done
that. and it i his own fault. though he
be the highest in the land he Is a most
pitiable failure We wonder how many
men in a mad pursuit of gold Whlcn
characterizes the age realize that there
is no fortune which can be lcft to their
families as great as the memory OF a
happy Reconsideration Nonpareii-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

The report that the Florida Repub-
lican convention has split, is not SO
important as it might SEEM 1t takes
about all the Republicans in Florida to
is a good deal like splitting a hair or
cigarette paper.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

AS we understand it. DR.. Bob Stew
art is being sued for prescribing milk
shake.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

The burning of several loads of jack
rabbit ears out at Hill City would IN
dictate that the inventors are neglect
ing the Main Chance. Otherwise they
would have invented some way to util-
ize the rabbit ears in the manufacture
of breakfast food
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

La Follette's manager says that Hon
Bob will back out And it is a wide
spread theory that the return trip Is
not of sufficient length to greatly fati-
que him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-02-08

CTo be continued)
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-10-10
Answsrina the Critics.

Some members of the congregation
of the late Dr. Joseph Brown OF Glas-
cow objected to his frequent absence
from home and complained Of it-some
Of them 90 him personally and more Of
them behind his back. When he
thought he had heard enough OF 1t he
addressed his congregation one Sun.
day thus:
with regard to objection concerning
my absence, have to say, first, when
am out of the pulpit am usually In
some other body's pulpit When you
are not In your own pew. are you in
some other body's pew? Second. when
am out of my pulpit put some other
body Into It. When you are out Of your
pew. do you put some other body into
1T Third, when am out of my pulpit
I sometimes get better men than my
self.to all Il, and you have chance of
hearing the leading preachers in the
church, and sometimes get worse
men than myself to I'LL 1t, and the
chance Of hearing them ought to make
you thankful for your mercies."