The Wagner leader. (Wagner, Charles Mix County, S.D.) 1912-1912, 1912-03-15

watchin' the fire, bur vas dragged out
unsensfble and Unconscious. having lost
his self respek and most Of his whis-
kcrs. Uncle Ezra II now on the rud
to recovery but will not be the same
man again until his whiskers grow
out.
Hank Purdy says the cost OF Twin
surely must be gettin' higher In wash
ington as congress Is receiving 30 many
bills lately.
Hod Renfrew was appointed q COM
mittee by his lodge to buy flowers for
q singer who appeared n our midst
| recently and the dollhouse Teller sent
the bin direct to o house and Hod
Is doin' more useless explainin' than
as though he had discovered the north
pole.
HI Huegfns has had an anker tat
toed on his arm, which shows that Hi
has reformed and Is goin' TO lead q
straight life and never be q fugitive
| from Justice.
| ink bottle and the ink ran down all
over the stamps n cancelled about
"a worth OF 'twos" and IS worth OF
ones" The bill Hilliker was tryfn'
to collect only amounted to $1-ss.
Am Perkins. our popular and con-
| genial tonsorial artist. has sent away
for a new razor and in the meantime
the bong swa and elite OF this town
are goin' arouno with whiskers sew
| eral inches long. waiting for shayes.
| The cook al the huttell borrowed his
former razor to open q can OF as
paragus for a high toned banquet and
broke II In two Am. who IL quite a
Joker. says in the future he Is going
to have a lot OF shaves all done n
wrapped up so he kind hand EN- out
to his regular customers on emergen-
cies of his kind.
A miIliner's smile is only skin deep.
Hank Frisby is a man Of reg'iar
habits. He smokes two packages OF
Pride OF the Gravel Train every day
and plays funk in the back room or
the drug store until IL O'Clock every
night and then goes home and puts
his clothes to bed and hangs himself
up in the wardrobe.
During the recent cold snap Anne
Hilliker closed up his general store
and went over to the depot to keep
warm at the expense OF the railrud
company.
Come all We smokers. far and near,
oh. come and see what you kin hear.
When other smokir' gives you pain
Just try Pride of the Gravel Train"
Oh bring your good old Henry Clay
And light her up n puff away,
1t wipes the LIQUIDS on from your brain.
Does old Pride of the Gravel Train"
Old Andy Butts is dead you know,
He smoked 1t ninety years or so,
He's smokin' yet with might and
main,
But not pride Of the Gravel Train
Just save your They're the
stun.
And then, IL you live long enough.
You'll get q Decent walking cane
So smoke Pride of the Gravel Train"
DIPPED FROM THE STREAM.
A Missouri man has Ger lodged In
Jail for hitting his wife with a pound
OF butter. 1t would seem as though
our m~illionaires would find something
better to do.
Mr.. La Toilette says he is not a
stalking horse. a baking horse or a
dark horse. AS he Is neither a clothes
horse Or q saw horse. what kind Of a
Now that the first robin has been
vouched for by several more or less
truthful persons, 1T seems almost time
for the first home grown strawberry.
A Detroit woman is the author OF
"a children. Eve IL he must remain
silent on all other subjects, T. r.. ought
to be able to Jay a few words o
her.
1t is claimed that a perfectly honest
man has been found In Chicago. But
the dispatches do not state that he is
q resident there.
A bomb has been thrown at Premier
Yuan Shi Kali, OF China. But the Nc
Namara brothers can prove an alibi
this time.
II Mr.. Morgan brings the sphinx
to put the esteemed lady would be
Oyster Bay.
A Wyoming young killed a
coyote with q stone. What a militant
suffraget that girl would make.
Luther Burbank has produced a seed
less lemon. No circus should be with
out n Of these.
Turkeys new naval appropriation
should be called q sinking fund.
WE'VE STOPPED BUYING MEAT.
Us folks amt goin' 10 buy no meat.
We're going to kill the trust.
Our dad says that the packers ring
we're surely going to bust.
We haven't ct q bit OF beef or pork
since Monday morn.
But still we're feelin' fine and we will
laugh the trust to scorn,
Even II Lorimer was once a boot
black 1t was q long time ago and can
not be construed a. q reflection upon
the bootblacks of today.
Theodore Bear ives In Chicago. II
would not be dificult to guess who his
favorite candidate for the presidency
| viii be.
Mas dug up Sarah Rorer's work that
tells you how to cook
And she amt goin' to miss a single
thing that's In the book.
Providin' that the recipe don't men
ton any meat
: She says she'll fx up vegetables so
they will be q treat.
/. We had potatoes Monday, cooked In
nineteen difrrent styles
And buckwheat cakes and graham
gems In most attractive piles
| OF course dad bought Q turkey hui
that amt exactly meat,
But he said we must have 1t fer to
make the meal complete.
Hes bargAtned for some chickens
from . man who runs q farm;
/ OF course we've all stopped eatfn'
meat but chicks won't do no harm.
Pas boycotted the butchers and saws
they WON'T get his dough
But he eats sirioin steaks down town
1t noon for lunch w know.
Since We have cut out meat at home,