The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1912-01-05
Pap is Still Sick and Ailing-
Able to Suggest as Strong
as Ever.
IDA TARBELL IS RUNG IN
No Automobiles Sent Into Sucker Pre-
cinct-The Calvinists Are Shy Over
Thsre-Pap Invests in Spirits at
Boise Which May Account for his
1ndisposition.
Sagebrush Ranch, Jan. ;, 1912.

Sagebrush Ranch, Jan. ), 1912.
Mr.. Editor:
The gladsum Christmas time is over
Pap is still ailin' but is strong on sug.
gestin' He reminds me a good Bit
If a meetir' of the Federation. As
ida Tarbell says, speakin' of the en-
easy woman, 1T is a disquietin' pre-
nomenon." Suggestin' gets to be a
habit with sum people. Ida thinks
oneasiness argues chronic fermene OF
mind. It's the same with suggestin'
You can almost smell it, it's that fer
mentin'. 1t brings green mildew on
happiness and love. It's as bad as
stomach trouble in your locality
When it punches and federates, an
epidemic of neures'henia is almost
sure to break out ia the community.
If Pap don't soon get better. must
get Doc Isham out to see him. He's
the biggest expert on suggestin' !
know. l see that he and Belle Smith
are practicin' in Boise now. A neigh
Dor who had him once says there's
an occult mysticism about him that
shows up your cosmic consciousness
in no time. Especially if you have
lost tax receipt or are OWN the
First National. That's what Pap and
the Uneasy woman need to see. As
Mr.. Burns remarked:
20 wad some pow'r the giftie gle us
To see ourselves as others see US!
1t wad frae monnie blunder free US.
And foolish notion"
I'm glad Ida wrote that piece about
our Uneasy sex. 1t will save me a
lot of oneasiness.
But to return to the merry Christ
mas. Mr.. Goodfellow didn't send no
automobiles into Sucker Precinct; be-
cause there amt no Calvinists here.
We're nearly all Cambellites, except
Minks, and they're Saints. The Cam
bellites don't take to automobiles no.
how. They put their trust in terra
6rma and H2O, which bein' trans
lated means land and water. But just
the same we had a merry Christmas
and the Calvinists over to Boise had
no edge on us with their benzine We.
hicles. made Pap nice pair Of
Arabian slippers. There haint nothin
nicer for man than pair Of slipper:
for Christmas. l took a old pair o.
cast off boots. and cut away all bu
the soles and the front part of the up
pers, thus leavin' them in semi-san.
DIAL shape. Then l cut a small sill
in the top of each and tied in ami c.
bow of pink ribbon. Pap says they're
easy to put on. don't hurt his heels
| and the cat likes to play with the rib
bons when he handles the baby. Thu
economy and double utility of thes'
slippers will be seen at a glance by tn
most suggestin' Federalist. Pap mad
me a nice match box by takin' OLE
sardine can and cuttin' hole tive
inches square out of the fat side
They he tied a old shoe string int
each corner, first maxim q hol
through which to put the string will
nail. and hung it near the kitche,
stove suspended from a tin tack Sc
curely driven into the wall. He use'
tin tack SO as not to spoil the gen
eral effect. 1t was put near the stow
so as to tighten my work when &c
up in the mornin's to make the fire
You don't need to worry about tn
cheap gift nohow. That's the kin
that's remembered the longest.
Then we shellep some corn an
parched it in the fry;n' pan for tn
children, and gave them the eobs t
build houses and barns and fence
with. This is most as good as manua
trainin' that the Federalists wan
But when It comes to refreshment
that's where we all was the happies
You know we had just butcheret
lWell, we had lots of pork and bee
extras which me and the children GU
up and boiled down and mixed wit
carrots and cabbages and other vegs
| tables and sum apples that Mr.. Va
Wyngarden that lives on the old Nj
. Farlain place let US have. and mad