Holbrook argus., 1912-04-16
The Talking Cat
By Lawrence Alfred Clay

It had been a marriage of love be- tween Edward Chalmers and Irene Hope. but there had been sting or two in the courtship Neither one would have admitted to an atom Of 1ealously in their makeup, but each had betrayed it. The husband had been popular young man. and the wife had had many admirers. They hadn't been jealous enough to quarrel, but the feeling had not been quite dis sipated.
 Before six months were up Mir. Chalmers came home from the insur- ance office where he worked, and swore He had been bullied by his superior, and he said damn it!" in plain, unmistakable English. The young wife ought to have realized as girl that there are times when all men swear, and to have been prepared, but 1t hit her surprising blow. She began to cry at once.
 MT. Chalmers having arrived at the age of twenty-four and having a bow ing acquaintance with at least 6O women, ranging from old married women to girls in short dresses, should have realized that no wife cries in order to irritate her husband. They weep because the dressmaker disap- pointed them, or because the latest thing in hats doesn't become them. They have been known to sob over the erroneous idea that this Is sad old world. Mir. Chalmers wasn't posted on this point, and therefore when the wife wept he took 1t as a personal af- front. He had been bullied at the office, and now she was rubbing 1t in on him at home.
 All the rest of us could have strengthened things out in 15 minutes and then gone to the theater, but this misunderstanding hung on. There were dinner and tears and mental oaths, and romance jumped the fence and disappeared in the bushes. Things might have changed for the better next day but for the god of chance. The wife went tp the butchers to or der meat, and on the way met Jerry Simpson.
 Jerry was one of her old admirers, but the admiration was all on his side. At any other time he would have been passed with cold nod. Now 1t was different. Mrs. Chalmers was mad at her husband. She stopped and shook hands with Jerry and told him how glad she was to see him, and at the end of ten minutes she thought she had done smart thing.
 At lunch. hour, when MT. Chalmers went out for ha4bite, he met Miss Gator. There was once report that they were engaged. At any rate, they were pretty good friends. He was glad to see her, because he knew that his bride didn't like her bit. He was so glad that he asked her to lunch with him, and the bill presented by the waiter took his last nickel
 The Chalmers had a cat. She wasn't anything to boast of as a cat, but good enough to begin housekeeping on.
 MT. Chalmers entered the house with his mind made up not to speak first. All the husbands he had ever talked with had told him that in case of family row the husband must hold himself as stiff as poker and make the wife do the kneeling act. Mrs. Chalmers had decided not to rush for ward and greet him with kiss. She might look up as he entered, and if encouraging she might smile, but be- | yond that it must be a mutual thing Only two weeks previously her mar ried sister had solemnly said to her:
 Irene, you and Ed will have a quar- rel some day"
 "Never!"
 his, but stand on your dignity. Don't be the first to give in. If you do the heel of the tyrant will be on your neck forever"
 We'll, the tyrant was there with his heel. Just let him try to put 1t on her proud neck! For a moment he seemed inclined to, and then turned to the cat.
 Well, pussy, it's been cool oay," said MT. Chalmers.
 Yes, pussy, 1t has," said the wife.
 9Pussy, you can tell your mistress that this looks like mighty poor din her for hungry man."
 fAnd, pussy. you can tell your mas ter that he trotted of this morning without leaving any market money"
 It wasn't the case of a person talk ing through his hat, but talking through his cat. The feline stretched and yawned and purred. and seemed to say: "Oh. cut 1t out!" but she was held to her job. That evening. for the first time since his marriage. MT. Chalmers thought of his lodge. Be fore leaving the house he said to the eat:
 Pussy. am going to my lodge to- night, and may not be home much before midnight"
 And while Pussy closed her eyes and didn't appear to care 8 cent