The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1912-12-08
FIGHT ARMAGEODON
BATTLE OVER FOR
GR|O|RON DINERS
Members OF Club Stage New
Version for Benefit of
Their Guests
HERO OF CONFLICT
FAILS TO SEE IT
President Taft. Party Leaders
Ambassador Bryce and
Other Prominent Men
Enjoy Burlesque

WASHINGTON, Dec. THE bat-
Tie OF Armageddon was restaged and
re-enacted for the benefit of tho
statesmen OF the nation who as
sembled at the Gridiron club dinner
tonight The man who stood At
Armageddon three thousand years
after the fight. was not present
BESIDES the struggle which was de-
scribed and made famous by the coi~
onel there was Bull Moose fight: 4
search for vice presidential goal: 4
meeting of the senate committee thaG
Is trying to find out who paid CAM
paign contributions, and why: the or
ganization OF new party to b
known as the Sons of the Landslide:
the Gridiron Guide to Oficeseaker4
and many topical songs
The strike of the walters, one OF
the features, happened just before
the fish course. The manager Of
the New Willard breezed into the
room wearing an air of trouble, and
business suit of clothes. He held
an anxious conversation with Eecre-
tary schriyer. and both went over 10
President Garthe. who told the guests
solemnly. that, owing to a little diff
ficulty with the help. the dinner would
go merriiy on without the food and
drink, which the guests felt they CT
right ought to expect.
Howl From Guests.
When howl from the guests aro1o
at this information, the club meme
hers arose en- masse and went out
and got the terrapin which lis always
the star feature of the dinner So
ably did they perform that the
walters, according to the manager.
became Jealous and went back on
the Job.
Among the guests who seemed most
dlspieased about the prospective lack
Of food. were President Taft, who bore
no scars of the recent conflict.
Speaker Clark and Chairmen Nc
Combs. HilIes and Dixon. who played
the talking and directing parts in Mn
incident which was closed November
5th.
Director Muivane. of the Western
G. o. p. forces, looked across tho
table at Director Mckinley. OF tho
same party, and both looked up to
Ambassador Bryce. who lis attending
his last Gridiron dinner. PRESIDENT
Elect Wilson could not get away from
bermuda for the dinner. which was
just as well. for several scores OF
the members Of his new cabinet
were here, and he might have been
embarrassed hy the richness OF ma
terial that is going into that struc-
ture IL political influence can wedge
one hundred men into cabinet built
for nine
No Speeches Reported.
OF course, the great Gridiron wan
flashed in electric lights at the PSYCHE
illogical moment OF course. there
were speeches, which under the
rules cannot be reported. They wero
happy speeches, and they had the
quality of disseminating happiness.
The Sons of the Landslide party
which was happily appropriate In view
of the efforts of dozen Republicans
governors to enact the Phoenix just
now consisted of representations Of
Uncle joe Cannon, Cy Suiloway.
Murray Crane. Nick Longworth, and
other good old standpatters, III
swathed in bandages, and all earnest
~ asking each other how they could
make onother fight in that condition.
The victory. such as II was. won ~
Mr.. Taft in the great States Of Utah
and Vermont. was ,commem grated -
the following limerick:
Every mans a standpatter IN UtA
And his ten wives are voters -
boot:
They all wen daft
Over William Fl. Taft.
Hes the biggest man next TO Re40
Smotts"
SIN the Green Mountain State, reo~
oiec' III
"Old Taft won out by a meek:
AN we'd elected him,
EFF they hadn't neglected. him
I'm fcrty States. by hecki' 81
Donnas and Pri,ua Donnas
Dons donnas and prIma donnaa, m ]
sung together like the spheras IN
tra an n u,h
Champ, Don Goerdso Perkerino, and
Don Taftioo took par.
The battle of Armageddon reveAla&
Saul. who really was there telling tuD&
how 1t all happened. Here is some ~ d
the dialogue:
Saul--Look. look! There on tlaa
spreading plain and combatantS clnN&
and slay To the right the general a
the antlered animal dashes toward
the large general seated on the pt1
ting green. Many men with stranG S
weapons follow the hull moose.
Pinchot--They are the tennis cAheas|
net. s
Bourne-There il a man on t1ko
side lines who seems to be sitting emf8
a money chest.
Ciark-That's Thomas r. Ryan.
Bourne--Why does he sit there idIA1
Clark-He's waiting for the batf1
to end SO he can settle all unp4
bills of the campaign.
Watterson--Is the man who TN
shouting and waving his arnaa.
dervish? sSsSl
II Il Senator Dixon. NH
I.odge--No: that's Senator Jooo0
NJ Dixon practicing for his app1G
ance before the Ciapp COMMITTEES
Sau'--Who are the nine men
rounding the large men,
~xrna-THav ttxo
the Taft cabinet. SSgfS
Saul-Why are they not ii the ~
tie? 3 sS (
Bourne-They will get into th1
tie iust after II II over.
n There was loud burst 81 iass
moment later when sOtsse ~
served that the dawn wAs 1879