Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-11-28

Purity good theery. bat, ike most thee
rtes. 1t was faulty in Jest n petick-
Ter.
Well you'd ought to "a seen Mr..
Gobbler. Gentlemen, take my word
for it or not, in one months time it
was big as a horse. an by the FIRST o.
November It was bigger n an ele-
plant
Along come a huckster, buyin'
Thanksgivin' turkeys. Lowed he'd
pay 20 cents a pound for 'em. l seq
to him / had one gobbler I'd sell him.
pervidin' he'd take 1t alive. Told him
was a busy man. what with my re-
searchin' an other scientific work, an
didn't have no time for KILN an
cleanin' turkeys. Huckster said he'd
take tn gobbler jest as 1t stood. So l
piked of to tn back corner O. tn
farm, let down tn bars, an 'druv tn
gobbler up to tn college. :
Honest, / was scared of It myself
1t stood twenty feet high, an built ac-
cordin'. That turkey was big enough
to furnish church dinners for all tn"
churches In this state. But it was a.
gentle as a lamb. Only thing about IT.
was its voice. I'd forgot to tell about
that. When 1t gobbled it made more
noise than a house alre. Well, II
drove 1t up to tn college, an tn facl
ulty an tn huckster an tn Students
an all was there-an' they blame nigh
died with astonishment.
Just think how you'd feel II all
of a sudden right down a lane would
come a turkey as big as a freight car,
an If just when it got about forty feet
from you it spread a tail as big as a
circus tent and began gobbling in a
voice that could be heard In the next
county. Why, tn faculty nachly duck
ed right inside tn college instanter,
an tn huckster was so scaret he jump,
ed into his wagon an tried to hide in
n OF his coops that was full Of roost7
ers an hens an turkeys an g~uineas.
Then my turkey, bein' a shy and TIM
lG creetur, got scaret, too, an it
flow up on top O. tn Hall O. Lib'ral
Arts an let out a gobble that sounded
like a million freight trains BLOWN
for tn flag man all at once. Seems
ed like that was tn first time it ever
knew 1t could fly. 1t Topped its wings
once or twice, knocking all tn climb,
leys off tn buildin' in tn exercise, an
then started right up in tn air, an
was seen since. No, sirs, mo-
body ever see hide nor feather Of 1t
from that day to this.
so that was why l lost my job at
tn college. Alphabet he got sore be-
cause I'd stole his q%uick-growin 'medi-
cine, an tn rest O. tn faculty got
mad because they'd got scared over a
little scientific experiment. They pass!
ed TIL word around an l couldn't get
work at no other college in tn coun-
try, SO at last | made up my mind to
settle down here in what is as near
oblivion as | a find an seek to be,
forgotten. l wouldn't a. told you fell
lers about thishyere turkey, only l.
know you'll respec' my confidence"
What became of the huckster,
Am'zi?" asked Lafayette Allen, tug
ging at his whiskers.
We'll, now, that's just what started
me to r%ememberin' thishyere turkey. L
saw that same huckster goin' through
town today, an how l knowed it was
him was that he kept watchin' the sky
all tn time, expectin to see thishyere
turkey come down to roost."
That's pretty near as good a story,
Am'zi." said the grocer, preparing to
close the store for the night, "as you
usually tell me when l dun you for
that little bill Of yours"