The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-06-20
The
Misanthrope's
Secret

To hear Uncle Joe tell 1t. Old
Scr0oge Of the firm OF Scrooge &
Marley. was not in the running with
Tom Terrence. Tom had farms and
bank stock and township bonds and
was just rolling in money. And Uncle
Joe said Tom Terrence was too stingy
to get married and that he was the
closest man in a trade he had known
since old Hec was pup. But l know
better.
For when l was a small, small boy.
Tom Terrence bought my soul and
thereafter l was his loyal slave unto
his dying day. When that purchase
was made Tom Terrence was young
bachelor with laughing blue eyes and
smile that made small boy feel
good all over. And ne bought me In
this wise:
1t was the day had graduated from
pink slips" into the dear glory of
plaid blouse suit. We were at the
county fair and Tom Terrence came
up and shook hands with father and
mother, and said, IVY, amt seen
/ you for six years! Gee whiz. What's
this y'u got, girl or boy" And
they all laughed and Tom says, says
he, Lemme take this youngster while
you old folks trail around and see the
display in the Agricultural Hall" And
Tom took me bodily. and in the next
hour he bought my soul.
Says he, 81 got some money that I
don't know what to do with, less I
spend II on small boy" And said.
"Have you enough money to buy a
'Shoofy' box? They got candy and
breastplns and gold dollars In EN-.
But they cost ten cents" And Tom
squinted his eyes and grinned and
said "It's my treat" and bought the
'Shoo-fy' box. and In It was candy
and brass breastpin. but no gold dol
lar.
Then Tom said, "Now we'll take in
the show" And we went in and saw
the fat woman and the living skeleton
and the man with the India rubber
skin. And we saw live alligator and
three monkeys and little couple that
were called General and Mrs Tom
Thumb.
Then he said, LES 60 see the mig.
ger Ministries. They sing and dance
and double shuttle and pick the banjo.
Ever hear banjo?" never had. rs
It something like macordeum!" I
asked.
Like q ma.cordeum?" said Tom.
ITS better-a heap better. But you
watch out that 1t don't put the devil
In your toes!"
hung back. The devil was q real
parsonage to me-a parsonage with
horns and big tusks and cloven foot
and he sat on his long tail that had a
singer on the end.
Jaw. come on" said Tom. Il was
Just foolin'. l meant banjo music is SO
fine It makes you want to get up and
dance"
80 we went In and heard the min
strels. They cracked jokes could not
understand, though Tom laughed at
them. But they sang strange, weird
melodies. war time and camp meeting
melodies. To me. who had never heard
chorus singing except the long meter
tunes on Sundays when they had
preaching in the schoolhouse. 1t was
J indescribly fascinating. And the ban
jos-the next day when | nailed !
board for handle to my toy drum
and strung 1t with mothers best sho,
strings. mother exclaimed, For tn,
land sakes," and then sat down anC
laughed and said: That's what comes
of letting that boy trail around wit
Tom Terrence"
!, There was IA tent where tintype,
were made. Only they called then
gems" Want your picture took
qucried Tom Yes" said. Il ncve
= had one took since Is boy | 80
one when Is little girl and wo,,
dresses"
Then Tom bought me grapes an,
peaches ripe, rosy checked. fin
smelling peaches. full Of juice an,
. flavor. And he bought peanuts-th
> first ever tasted And he asked M
what else I wanted and said, -
never tasted bologna sausage
looks mighty good" So he bought be
logna and crackers and they taste
then better than the fried chicken an
rolls mother had brought in bashe'
And on our way back to the famil
wagon tried to express my appreci.
ton and said: you must be might
rich. Tom" and the twinkle went OF
Of Toms eyes and he said: NO: hu
I would be II I had q little boy lik
you-who has q ma-like YOU have,
But when he turned me over agai
to my father and mother and mothe
said: II know that boy has been
whole lot Of bother to you. Tom" To,
laughed and said: NO sireee man
] Amt had % much fun since Hec va
. pup"
That was years and years ago TOT
Terrence grew old and had lands an
houses and bank stocks and bond
and was . bank president. and die