The Washington herald., 1912-02-23
NO HAPPINESS In
SECRET MARRIAGE
Man Who Asks It Is 8 Cad.
~ DoRorHY DIX,


A young girl writes me that she is
very much IN love with . man who
swears that he worships her and who -
urging her 10 marry him secretly. and she
asks me whether would advise her to do
SO or not.
1 can answer that question easily
enough. I would urge that girl by every
thing that she holds sacred. by her every
hope Of happiness now and in the future.
not only to be no party to secret mar
riage. but to turn the man who has pro-
posed IL 10 her out Of her home and never
speak to him again. For the man who
seeks to inveIgle a girl into q ciandestlne
marriage Is either fool or a knave. and
she does well to avoid getting either one
for q husband.
girl the idea of a Secret marriage has an
alluring air Of romance and a fine favor
of a three-volume novel Did not the
Lady Hildegarde secretly marry, at mid
night, the Duke de Montmorenci, her
hereditary foe, and did she not always
wear his wedding ring around her neck,
hidden IN her breast, until he came back
10 claim his bride: Did not Nellie. the
beautiful cloak model. secretly wed the
naughty mIllionaire's son, and. as soon
as his father died. leaving him few
billions, did he not rush madly to her
side and proclaim her his wife before the
world?
They dId-fn fiction. But, in fact, the
secret marriage turns out the other way.
The bridegroom generally doesn't come
back. and. in any event. ntnety-nine
times out Of q hundred there is a nasty
scandal that the girls family tries to
hush up by printing a belated marriage
notice in the paperS-at which the ma
jority of people shrug their shoulders
cynicaliy and in which they don't believe.
There Is a certain stigma attached 10
a secret wedding, and though woman's
house is papered with marriage certii-
Gates and she is model Of virtue, 1t is
blot on her escutcheon 80 long as she
lives.
Certain Conventions.
There are certain conventions that all
civilized people have agreed upon as the
proper thing to obtain under certain con-
ditions One OF these is the public mar
rage, and when a decent man asks de-
cent girl to marry him he does 1t in
decent way.
He publicly proclaims to the world
that she is his wife and he is proud of
II. and that he assumes all Of the re-
means to live up to them. He doesn't
stink away and marry her secretly,
without the knowledge and consent of
her parents Therefore, any girl may
well be more than suspicious Of what
a mans intentions are regarding her IL
he asks her to marry him under the
rose.
When a man tries to persuade you into
a secret marriage just sit down, little
efa NJ 4aE nd
ask yourself why? What good could
come OF It? Where do you come in?
How is II TO end for you?
Suppose the man is a handsome and
fascinating stranger. or a man who is
rich. or belongs TO a more fashionable
circle in life than YOU do. and he tells
you that for some reasons, with which
you must not bother your pretty little
head, he can't publicly marry you now.
after awhile be will come back and get
his darling little wife.
Not the Honorable Way.
Don't you know that honorable men
don't WOO their wives in that way. and
that such a man never has the slightest
intention Of doing you anything but
harm? There is no earthly reason why
any man who is twenty-one, and free,
can't proclaim to the world any mar
,riage that he is capable of legally max
ing, and the mere fact that he wants to
keep a marriage secret should be warn
ing enough to any girl.
Suppose the man urges a secret mar
riage because he says he is too poor to
marry. VIII keeping II in secret help
him to make money? VIII meeting him
around in queer places do anything but
ruin your good name? Just tell such a
man what cad and coward you think
he is to be willing to sacrifice you for
his own pleasure, for IL he had one drop
Of manhood in him he would roll up his
sleeves and work with such energy and
purpose that he wouldn't have to ask
the girl to marry him secretly, but could
do it in the face of the world. And he,
Would wait until he could support a wife
before he married her.
Suppose the man pleads with YOU to
marry him secretly because your parents
object to him. Just reflect that fathers
and mothers are mighty apt to have a
good reason when they oppose their
daughters marrying. and that, at least
until you are Of age, 1t is wise to listen
to their counsel
pro ofiaa Eon,a,-