Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1912-04-24
| Seats Of the
Naughty
Being the Gloomy Story of
a Travelling Snowman
By o. HENRY
Copyright, 1907, by the Mcclure
company.
By o. HENRY

Golden by day and silver by night,
new trail now leads to US across the In
dian ocean. Dusky kings and princes
have found out our Bombay of the
west, and few be their trails that do
not lead down Broadway on their jour-
ney for to admire and for to see.
II chance should ever lead you near
a hotel that transiently shelters some
one Of these splendid touring grandees,
/ counsel you to seek Lucullus Polk
among the republican tuft hunters that
besiege its entrances.
first saw Mr.. Polk coming down
the steps of the hotel at which sojourn-
cd his highness the gaekwar Of Baro-
da, most enlightened Of the Mahratta
princes, whs Of late ate b. "a and salt
N eur metropolis Of the oc,lAent.
Lucullus moved rapidly as though
propelled by some potent moral force
that 1mminently threatened to become
physical. Behind him closely follow
ed the impetus-a hotel detective.
Safe on the sidewalk, Lucullus Polk
turned and shook freckled fist at the
caravansary, and, to my joy, he began
to breathe deep 1nvective in strange
words:
"Rides in howdahs, does he?" he
cried loudly and sneeringly. "Rides
on elephants in howdahs and calls
himself prince! Kings-yah! Comes
over here and talks horse till you
would think he was president and
then goes home and rides in a private
dining room strapped on to an ele-
phant!'
murmured few words of sympa-
thy.
"The last one I solo," continued the
6spleased one, was to that three
horse tailed Turkish pasta that came
over year ago. Five hundred dollars
he paid for it, easy"
As soon as Lucullus Polk got cool
enough l picked him up, and with no
greater effort than you would employ
In persuading a drowning man to
clutch a straw, I inveigled him into
accompanying me to a cool corner in
dim cafe.
And it came to pass that men serv
ants set before us brewage, and Lucul-
lus Polk spake unto me, relating the
Wherefores Of his beleaguering the
antechambers Of the princes Of the
earth.
Ibid you ever hear of the S. A. and
"A. P. railroad in Texas? Well, that
don't stand for Samaritan Actors Aid
Philanthropy. I was down that way
managing a summer bunch of the gum
and sy1tax chewers that play the
idlewih parks in the western ham,
let's. OF course we went to pieces
when the soubrette ran away with a
prominent barber of Beeville. don't
know what became of the rest Of the
company. believe there were some
salaries due, and the last saw of the
troupe was when told them that 43
cents was all the treasury contained.
say never saw any Of them after
that, but heard them for about TWEEN
ty minutes. l didn't have time to look
back. But after dark 1 came out of
the woods and struck the S. A. and
4. Z. agent for means of Transporter
ton. He at once extended to me the
courtesios Of the entire railroad kind
" warning me, however, not to get
aboard any Of the rolling stock.
"Ahout 10 the next morning I steps
of the ties into village that calls
itself Atascosa City. bought a thirty
cent breakfast and ten cent cigar
and stood on Main street jingling the
three pennies in my pocket-dead
broke.
"All Of sudden, while I was stand
ing on the edge of the wooden side
walk, down out Of the sky falls two
fine gold watches into the middle of
the street One hits a chunk of mud
and sticks. The other falls hard and
flies open. making fine drizzle Of lit
tie springs and screws and wheels
looks up for balloon or an airsMp;
but, not seeing any, I steps off the
sidewalk to Investigate.
"But hear couple of yells and see
two men running up the street In leath-
er overalls and high heeled boots and
cartwheel hats. One man is six or
eight feet high. with open plumbed
joints and heartbroken cast Of coun-
tenance. He picks up the watch that
has stuck in the mud. The other man.
who is little. with pink hair and white
eyes. goes for the empty case and says.
Il win Then the elevated pessimist
goes down under his leather leg hol-
sters and hands handful of twenty
dollar gold pieces to his albino friend
'"The little man hustles away with
kind of Swiss movement toward jew
elry store. The heartbroken person
Stops over and takes telescope view
OF my haberdashery.
"Them's mighty slick outfit of ha-
biliments you have got on. Mr.. Man.
says he. I'll bet boss you never &C.
quired the right. title and interest in
and to them clothes in Atascosa City
"'Why@: no. says I. being ready
enough to exchange personalities with
this moneyed monument Of melancho-
~. 4 had this suit tailored from a spe.
cial line of coatericks. vestures and
paintings in st. Louis. Would you
mind putting me sane says l, oh this
watch throwing contest?'
"'Me> and George. he explains, are