davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
Big Surplus of the Fiscal Year

The government was enabled by
the lack of appropriations at the be-
ginning of the new fiscal year to pile
up in the treasury 100000 of sur
plus money. This surplus will consti-
tute a stock argument of the Taft
republicans on the stump from now on
until November. The surplus one year
ago was $45,6S2,000. This does not
leave a wide margin for efforts on
the stump, for at the most the sur
plus is losing ground rather than
gaining it.
During the fiscal year just ended
customs receipts fell off, while in
ternal revenue taxes were increased.
The one just about offset the other.
The revenue receipts came almost
wholly from distilled spirits. beer, to-
bacco and the corporations.
Congress is expected to pass the
Fitzgerald resolution continuing last
years appropriations during the pres
ent month, and this will rapidly reduce
the surplus reported at the beginning
of the new fiscal year.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

be a limit of eight inches for the small
est trout to be taken. AL less than
that should be returned to the water
at once Catching yearling trout Is
about like bribing children or 'pipering
them with red striped.stick candy"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

From the New York Press.
Breakfast in bed is about the same as
brisk walk in sleeping car.
The way for man to please his wife
is to make her think she is pleasing him
It's pretty hard TO tell from his looks
whether a multimillionaire is ferret OF
bulldog.
One of the chief pleasures a man gets
out of smoking an old pipe is nobody
wants him to.
A man can never just lay his tongue on
witty thing he wants to say or an ex-
Guse he wants to give.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
"oUR ENEMIES HAVE FALL'N.

BY Tennyson.
Our enemies have falln. have falln; the
seed,
The little seed they laughed at in tie
dark,
Has risen and cleft the soil, and grown
bulk
OF spanless girth. that lays on every side
A thousand arms and rushes to the sun.
Our enemies have fall'n. have falIn; thes&<
came:
The leaves were wet with women's tears:
they heard
The noise of songs they would not UNDER
stand; ~ ,
They mark'd it with the red cross to the
fall, !
And would have strown it. and are falrn
themselves.
Our enemies have fall'n, have fall'n; they
came,
The woodmen with their axes: 10. the
tree.
But we will make it faggots for the
hearth
And shape it plank and beam for roof and
floor.
And boats and bridges for the use of men.
Our enemies have far'n. have falln; they
struck;
With their own blows they hurt them
selves. nor knew
There dwelt an iron nature In. the grain:
The glittcring ak was broken In their
arms,
Their arms were shattered TO the shoulder
blade.
Our enemies have fall'n. but this sha p
grow
A night of summer from the heart.
breath
OF autumn. dropping fruits of power: and
ropd
With music in the growing breeze of time.
The tops shall strike from star to star, the
fangs
Shall move the stony bases of the world.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
Secret Societies in Public Schools

Chicago is disturbed by the persist
ent effort to maintain secret socie-
ties among pupils in the high schools.
The board of education has ordered
them to dissolve, but they refuse to
do this. They do not see why they
should not be permitted to initiate the
Eeek letter societies of the colleges.
yet conditions are different.
~ from home finds par
fpr home life in club.
pupils live - sSsss
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
From Tepnysop. Not Jefferson

Capt w. Gordon McCabe, the we'll
known scholar of Richmond, Va, writes
letter to the New York Sun critics.
ing William Jennings Bryan for his
lack of education. or his sciolism," said
u member of Birmingham's Virginia
colony. THE particular offense that
prompted Captain McCabe to write was
crediting, a line from Tennyson to
Thomas Jefferson. But in the course
of his letter the Virgil tan excoriates
the Nebraskan on general principles.
After paying his respects to Mr.. Bryan
as smatterer. Captain McCabe says:
Ills latest exhibition of sciolisn oc-
Cured on Tuesday in the Baltimore
convention. according to the report In
the sun. when with the modesty of a
vestal virgin he nominated himself for
temporary chairman of that body.
1.-The committee of arrangements had
affixed to theavalls of the hall line
from Tennyson's lode on the Death OF
the Duke of Wellington" Striking the
true Bryanesque attitude the Peerless
One" exclaimed: II take as my text
that which the committee has been kind
enough to place upon the walls here:
He q. e. Bryan never sold the truth
| to serve the hour That is the language
of the hero of Monticello" (Our lead
ing local paper here adds: THE dele
gates smiled at the reference to Mon
ticello, for the quotation was not from
Jefferson but from Jackson" Query
From Andrew. Jackson or "Old Stone
| wall?'')
Here is a line from one of the
most famous poems by one of the most
famous poets in the world (many think
it Tennyson's noblest fighD, and til,
Peerless One" ascribes It to Jefferson
while the smiling delegates all think
that II was spoken or written by rug
ged old "A. j., or perhaps by stone
wall" Bryan and his "progressives" IL
truth know as little of Jefferson as T.
II. knows of Abraham Iincon.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
A KINDLY PARENT

From the Kansas City Star.
Dad said a Bartlesville, Okla, kid to
his father the other night. Il want to go
to the show tonight
"A show at night is no place for kid
like you. You should be at home in bed
But | psddled bills and have two tick
cts said the kid, as he began to sniffle.
''All right. then" answered Dad. II
into trouble
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
WILLING TO THINK OF IT


TBfH
Pat was bashful lover; and Biddy was
coy, but not too coy.
"Bddy." Pat began timidly, did yer
liver thing of marryin'?'
sure. now, TIL subject has niver in
TERED me thoughts demurely replied
Biddy.
Its sorry OF am" said Pat, turning
away.
WAN minute, Pat called Biddy, soft
~ we've set me a-thinkin'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
SWEET INCIDENCE.

What's this I read? "Sleep-soothing
groves and quiet lawns between
Oh, how that subtle poets line doth
now appeal to me-
Who fam would rest the livelong day In
some bucolic scene.
Lulied by the song of purling rill and
drone of honey bee,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
weights and Measures

when the weights and measures ordi-
nance goes into effect I hope there will
be a standard for each so that people
may know how much of an article they
are receiving for their money" said a
man who buys by retail.
Just let me illustrate. How many
pounds are there in ton of coal? 1t
all depends upon whether it's long ton
or short ton. But why not make a
ton ton, and drop this long and short?
The same way. we have quarts and full
quarts, and u ounce pounds, IA ounce
pounds and a few. very few, 16 ounce
pounds. The same way with measures,
there's the peck. the heaped peck and
probably the small peck. All this is sim
ply pettyfoggying way of cheating a
purchaser.
"If a dollar is 100 cents, and there are
no such things as long dollars or short
dollars, or full dollars or light dollars,
let the same rule exist In all transactions
where goods are bought and sold at a
fixed price for fixed weight or quantity.
If there be no other way to correct this
variable and uncertain table of weights
and measures let us Introduce the metric
system and then we will know what we
are given in exchange for our money, =
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

entail primary almost any city will be
big enough to commodate national
cons ention, for ylt'5e of balloting
and adopting a platf IN will be only per-
funetory. The nc Iinating convention will
be about as lively as the electoral col
lege-anf. the crowd will be conspicuous
by IS absence
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
BIRTH OF FAMOUS SONG

and soldiers and marines at North Point.
preparatory to the attack on the fort,
which was defended by a small force of
raw militia, partly composed of the men
who had been so easily defeated at Ba-
densburg. They were under command Of
Colonel George Armistead who faced a
lcourt-martial if he should not win, for
the Washington administration had per-
emptorily ordered him to surrender the
fort.
Through the long hours of the 18th,
Key paced the deck of his boat. watch
ing the battle with straining eyes and a
heart that thrilled and leaped and sank
with every thunder of gun and flash of
shell. The day was calm and still, with
no wind to lift the flag that dropped
around its staff over Fort McHenry. AT
eventide a breeze unfurled. its folds, and
as it floated out a shell struck it and
tore out one of its fifteen stars.
might fell. His companions went be-
low to seek rest in such unquiet slumbers
as might visit them, but there was no
sleep in the heart of Key. Not until the
mighty question which filled the night
shy Will tllufluti anu lldillt anu SCQ
in whelming pillows through his own soul
found its answer in the court of Eternal
Destiny could rest come to the man who
watched through the long hours of dark
ness, waiting for dawn to bring triumph
or despair.
"Slence came-the silence that meant
victory and defeat. Whose was the VIC
tory? The night gave no answer and the
lonely man still paced up and down the
deck of the Minden. Then day dawned in
a glory in the east and glory in the
heart of the anxious watcher. In that first
thrill of joy and triumph our majestic
anthem was formed.
Key took from his pocket an old let
| ter. and on its blank page pencilled the
opening lines of the song. In the boat
which took him back to Baltimore he
finished the poem, and in. his hotel made
copy for the press. The Star-Spangled
Banner was soon waving over the musi-
cal domain as VIGOROUSLY as it had
foated from the ramparts of Fort Me-
! Henry
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

The convention first caught up with
sleep and then got down to business. in
the most snappy manner.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

The scout ship Birmingham is still en-
gagged in taking a census of icebergs,
and In determining how they may be
safely approached.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

King George V. participates in cere-
nronial affairs when custom demands
ceremony, but he does without page
antry and formally whenever he can. He
Paul's cathedral, London, recently with
out military escort. Their majesties
were not attended by even an aid or
equerry. 1t was the first time that roy
atty had ever gone to church in London
quietly like other folks.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

The old reliable Fourth OF July will be
relief from the convention dickerng and
uproar.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
SINCERITY.

SINCERITY.
Away, away
Said William Blk;
II have no time
For politics"
Then, just to show
His proper bent,
He bought some bait
And fishing went.
Birmingham Age-Herald.
"Begone. begone,'
Said Mrs. Bills;
II have no use
For trips and frills.''
Then just to show
Her proper view,
She went and bought
A peek-a-boo.
Springfield Union.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

convention that sits up all night TO
listen to nominating speeches is equal TO
any demand upon it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

haunted spot and altered my course my
carriers begged to be allowed not to pro-
coed and were left behind.
After struggle through dense bush
we could see the edge of a sheet of water,
along the banks of which were the holss
of crocodiles. whose tracks covered the
shore. The scene was a weird one; the
surface was absolutely STILL and round
about were 10 foot high bushes, with
what We're apparently great tufts. a
creamy flowers These, however. proved
to be nests of tree frogs"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

An Underwood and Foss ticket has
been presented as the best possible en-
bodiment of sanity and snap.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
The Army Worm Menace

IT have just returned from trip
to southeast Alabama and while sthe
crops In that section are generally good
they are being menaced by the army
worm,'" said J. Furniss Lee.
"As yet the dreaded pest has con-
fined its attacks to the corn crop, which
has already suffered considerably and
unless speedily checked I was informed
the entire crop would be ruined.
1.-THE farmers, however, are making
systematic fight against further In
roads of the scourge and with eternal
vigilance its destructive -ravages will
be stopped"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

No demand for bandanna handker-
chiefs has been noted in New York state
OF. in the New York city market.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
SOMETIMES ITsEFIrI.

us railroad time table good for any
thing?"
We'll. in a case of emergency it makes
very fair fly swatter''
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

The reactionarles are convinced that
the running of steam roller is not
joy ride for anybody.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

Dog days are close at hand and the
colonel proposes to organize his bull
moose party regardless of the weather.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

The Colonel is spending his declining
political years at'oyster Bay, nice COM
Portable place.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

Evelyn Neshit Thaw thinks that Harry
will puncture her with bullets If he is
liberated.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
NOT LONG NOW.

Mistah Jonson: I'm going to win.'
Mister Flynn: I'm going to VIM
Oh, well. Well soon know.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

The fly swattlng crusade was originated
by a bald-headed man.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
HE cHoRTLED
HOW TRUE. PHILANpERl

You can always tell a man who isn't
used to being polite by the way he over
does it in an energency.-Philande john
son.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

Cheers an hour long spring from keyed
up lungs rather than from public enthus-
iasm.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

Those who are tired of politics should
begin to swat flies.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

Justice Hughes is summering at Lake
Placid, and his mind is as placid as the
lake.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
POWER on WoMAlN.

A sweet and lovely woman
can merely shake her head,
And half a score of suitors
VIII wish that they were dead.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
BENEFICIAL.

Kicking is simply waste Of time"
mot always. Pretty dancers have been
known to kick off kings crowns and thus
help along the interests of the common
people,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

Col Goethals looms up as candidate
for president in 1916.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

The Colonel can as a last resort fall
back to the vaudeville stage.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

'He joined third party" is consid-
cred more Of an epitaph than party
lnSsA
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
WORKED TO DEATH

Don't you know the poor delegates at
Baltimore are exhausted?"
"Pshawl 1 dare say they are not half
as tired as the poor bartenders."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

Let us all try to get an excess of poll
tics out of our respective systems.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

Acquaintance that do not talk politics
are in great demand at present.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

The watched dark horse never stam-
pedes anything.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
AS A SUBSTITUTE.

A famous dancer was recently robbed
of jewels valued at 5000. The poor thing
may have 10 wear few clothes now
when she appears on the stage.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
MAN urMps FROM BIpLANE

Bandannas are not equalling beef in tn
rise in prices.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
TIE MAIDEN SAID.

THE MAIDEN SAID.
THE lips that touch liquor
Shall never touch mine"
HE CHoRTLED.
This instant. o waiter,
A magnum OF winei"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

STILL MILITANT.
Mrs Pankhurst has been released from
prison, but she is not cured, by any
means. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
THE COLONEL GOES TO THE

THE COLONEL GOES TO THE con-
vENTION.
Contributed
MY country demands. cannot say no."
The Colonel exclaims upon taking the
a train,
And to the convention, l needs must go,
My country insists, how can I relnain?"
Ere faring forth. for his share in the
row,
Laden with adjectives. shaking his fist,
Pausing moment he makes his bow.
And sends his regards to the "sUF-
FRAGISTS"
Polite Colonel. the feminine vote
Availeth not now, though future card;
Flirting is useless and turning your coat.
The big Stick is hoist with its own
petard.
&C. w. Cole. Baltimore. Md.
MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE.
A gay and festive reporter handed us
the following outrageous pun. We dis
claim all responsibility.
Old Jonas Hardy, an eccentric character
about town, has strangely disappeared.
according TO Mrs. Telall. neighbor One
of Jonas Hardy's eccentricities was taxi
ing a bath IN benzine every morning, and
It's Mrs. Tellalls theory that the old man
must have dropped lighted match into
his bath, for he has no6benzine since.
A TRYING MOMENT.
A man at heart is just brute
And very seldom grins
When he's informed his wiley has
Presented him with twins.
STILL MILITANT.
Mrs. Pankhurst has been released from
prison, but she is not cured, by any
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
LATEST STYLE IN u

LATEST STYLE IN HOSIERY.
little mouse was on her stocking
With screams she did not rend the air;
Although such fads are sometimes shock.
ing,
That little mouse was woven there.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
A TRYING MOMENT

A man at heart is just brute
And very seldom grins
When he's informed his WHEY has
Presented him with twins.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3. 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02

h NE reason why there have been
50 few really great patriotic
poems written may be because in
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-07-02
MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE.

A gay and festive reporter handed us
the following outrageous pun We dis
claim all responsibility.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1912-03-20
): :: :: :: :: :: !: :: :; :: :: !: :: :;
:. WHAT CAN BE DONE ON A ::
:: PLOT OF GROUND eco 3:
:: FEET SQUARE. ::
:: ::
. y ;: :; :; :: :, :: ;: = :: :, :; ;: :: :, ;.

Gardening is Just like any other
business or occupation, one must
study their advantages and shun the
Disadvantage My experience is
10 always try 10 have something 20
sell find beans and tomatoes the
lest paying crop 10 can, While there
are many other things good At this
writing, March Il, | have pumpkin,
sWeej potatoes, okra, turnip greens,
snap peas, beans, beets, tomatoes
and lots of fruit canned in 3-pounl
in cans. My Gamer cost me $500.
have had it five years and to this
date | nave bought 1850 cans.
Now 10 my gardening. | always
plant something early, as the early
vegetables always bring the cash al
a fancy price. Then when vegeta-
bles get plentiful | begin TO can.
My tomatoes | start in boxes o.!
old tubs. ! never like forcing plants
unless one is fixed for that business,
and a new beginner Is very liable
10 make mistake and, become dis
couraged. ! have no special or fixed
rule for planting anything. ! planr
from early spring to late autumn.
The ground has to be worked and
kept clean and to drop in few seel
IS easily done, only a few seed los
if nothing is made. On my plot of
ground | have few grape vines
peach trees, blackberries and Dlums
| always can find something to do,
but | enjoy it and make il pay, too
Hon't tell me that the man or woman
who tils the soil in a business way
can't make an independent, honest,
honorable living God has fixed Fl,
so, and it must be.
Mrs. PERRY ENRLES,
Cornish. Okla.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1912-03-20

West Main, and gave qui;o delight
iul kitchen shower in homer OF Rev.
and Mrs. Gray.
The sitting room was decorated N
pink and white, the cnosen color tor
decorations at the wccGing Of Rev.
and Mrs. Gray.
In the dining room purple was "a"
chosen color srheme in anticipation
OF Easter, which is close upon us.
Miss Nonei greeted the guests a.
the door and Miss Butcher introduced
them to Rev. and MIS-. Gray.
\ program. rich in lovely musical
mmbers, was enioye, followed by srN-
eral old-time games.
Satin ribbons We're drawn from ihe
dining room to the living room and
at las, their significance was e\-
planned when the honorees were
asked 70 follow them TO the end.
Instead Of the pot of gold that fable
tells us is at the end of the rainbow,
Rev and Mrs. Gray were delighte
in finding something more substantial
and Of easier attainment table
loaded with all sorts OF conveniepces
Tor the kitchen!
Misses Celia Cornell, Mona Webb
aud Lee Webb presided oYer the
shower and presented MIS-. Gray with
lovely bouquet of carnations,
Miss Celia Cornell was in chargo
Of the guests register, a dainty BOOK
with tulip decorations and "A hand
nome cover in which vas sketched
in Wd'er colors Holland scene.
Assisting the hostess We're Mes
Games Cornell, Ran Webb and J. W.
Krueger.
Delicious refreshments were served
and the evening Will be remembered
most happily by all present.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1912-03-20
A Withered Filtration.

"Oh, whittier away, my little mad
Oh whittier away" quoth !.
She gave me a glance all una1rald
And thus did she make reply:
oh wither away yourself said she,
Id never be seen wither likes OF
thee
And she withered the while
With a withering smile
That totally withered me.
A. Sufferan Mann, in Harper :
Weekly.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1912-03-20
CHILD WELFARE CONGRESS.
Nat.onal Congress Of Mothers Meet
in DaIlas-Reform Work


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