Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-03-24

Oll oil OuI ClSllI pal.
"Popylation-Oursel at tn pole.
Cap Scott north iv US.
'Fauna-Wanst we thought we see
a bur-rd.
"'Gin'ra1 Obsarvations-We're here
first anyhow. Thank hivens, we bate
tn Englishman'
"Now what kind iv story is that
FIR me to dig up five cents FIR iv a
Sundah mornin? I cud've wrote tn
same mesilf FIR half tn money. An
here's ivrybody cheerin FIR Cap Amund-
sen an nobody sayin' kind wurrud FIR
me old frind tn Dock, who discovered
tn north pole without lawn tn house.
Suppose tn Dock had dhreamed he dis
covered tn south pole. thin ye'd have
something in tn pa-apers that wud be
worth talkin' about. AT this pint we
encountered a flock iv zebras that I
dogs. At latytude eighty-six forty we
discovered a range iv mountains three
hundred thousand feet high covered
with petrified pink azalyas an infested
with prehistoric monsthers, wan iv
which, Bazamalooka, or, as it is pop
larry known, tn Hickthum, I captured
be imitatin' tn love call iv tn mate.
This sthrange crather measured forty
yards firm wing tip to wing tip, an,
onlike tn other monsthers iv this re-
gion which carry their young spiked
on tn dorsal fin. wheels thin in a kind
iv prambylater made iv tn hide iv tn
Wappah
81 soon made frinds iv me captfte
an taught her to sing in a conthraIto
voice, but she took a sthrange dislike
to me Eskymo companyons, an whin
she had aten four iv tn most prom
ment Republicans iv Upernavik 1 found
it nicissry to desthroy her. Befure
doin so 1 carefully preserved an stuff
ed tn body, which I left behind with
me observations. l have tn check firm
tn baggage room somewheres an will
be very glad to show it to amy larned
s'ciety if L can find it. On DECEMBER
sixth somethin' told me [ was within
sthrikin' distance iv tn pole
1T may have been mesilf Amy
how, I determined on an early start.
Breakfast was harly out iv tn way
whin we begun our pearlOus advance.
Our sufferins firm that time on wurruds
can harly describe. In NOVEMBER we
run out iv sponge cake an five iv our
party deserted. On top iv this calam-
ity we were sthricken with an epydimic
iv snuff1es, tn most tur-ible Nv artic
plaques. On ThanksgVin' day our
carve tn turkey. In Poughkipsy I
took an observation iv tn timprachoor
be BLOWN me breath on tn window
pane. 1t was three hundherd and eight
degrees below zero. But did I finch?
On consultin' me notebook FIR this date
find that l did not. 1 knew tn covet-
ed goal was in sight An So on tn
thirty-frst Nv Febry, worn out. fam
ished, with wan overshOe gone. half
blind with waitn' be tn dim light me
eyes rested on tn lemon grove that
surrounds tn south pole
That's tn kind iv a way 1 want me
explorations wrote up, not like an ac-
count Nv voyage in hammock: 1t
takes some Inauguration to make tn
me. No wan that liver describes thin
just as they ARE will have people hid
in his books SO tn rest iv tn family
can't steal it. No. sir. An tn raison
is that tn on'y thing that's ra-aly in
threstin' to man is tn impydint little
scOundhrel himslf Ye can't tell him
annything about scenery onless some
body lives in it, mountains noun
tain an that's all it is. He don't paw
amy attintion to it onless some wan
thries to climb up it. TIL on'y thing
about a desert that's inthrestin' to him
is tn little places where a man can
get dhrink. If a fellow sets down
TO tell story about going through tn
jungle an starts in to tell about tn
threes we go to sleep till a three falls
on him or he sees So me animal or