Evening star., 1912-11-08
At the End Of the Rainbow.
BURNING MONEY.
By Walt Mason.
"What's that canned stuff l see in the
BY Walt Mason.

whats that canned stuff l see in the
kitchen?" inquired Jamesworthy.
| That's a new kind Of prepared wax TO
put on the floor" explained his wife.
| THE floors in this house have been
disgrace for long time and l intended
| to have them stained, but the hardware
man tells me that this composition is
the finest thing ever invented. 1t will
make the floors look like that of a ball
room, he says"
"The next time I go into Pumphead s
/ hardware store, said Jamesworthy.
.I'll rend him limb from limb. l sup
pose he's stocked up with lot of this
patent wax, or whatever it is, that he
couldn't sell to anybody else and
he sized you up as an easy mark and
worked off a lot of it on you. | never
| heard of anything more preposterous
than waxing the floors of an old shack
| like this and you can send back his
! old wax and tell him to eat It, nave
endured and suffered until the limit
has been reached, Mrs. Jamesworthy; !
have stood for sleeping porches and bay
windows and all kinds of expensive fool
I ishness, but when you talk about wax
ing the floors of this humble abode
rear up on MY hind legs and say: Thus
far shalt thou go and no farther.
| IF there's anything more idiotic IN
this world than a slippery floor | wish
you'd take down the encyclopedia ana
| tell me what It is. waXed floor Will
| do for a family of acrobats, but am
| well stricken in years and spawned in
/ both legs and l want good safe loot
| ing as journey around the house. !
cant imagine anything more huml 1atlng
than to see the father of family
, his ear. and that's what d De dolis
liz you waxed the floor. The floor should
| be carpeted with sandpaper and then a
man could walk around with feeling OF
security.
But this proposition is strictly In line
with your firm determination to send
me to the poor farm by the shortest
route. The only reason why you bought
that wax is that it cost three times as
much as the ordinary materials In the
grand old days when l lived at home
we painted the floors ourselves and the
cost was so little that We never missed
it. Mother would go to the drug store
or some other joint and buy two quarts
Of linseed oil and a couple Of pounds
Of yellow ochre. She mixed the in
gradients herself and then after supper
down on their marrowbones and painted
away like the old masters, and in the
morning the paint was dry and we had
floor good enough for the crowned heads
of Europe.
| of my mother and other grand old
women of her time have no attractions
| for the spendthrift wives of this gener-
aton The idea OF buying linseed OIL
| and ochre never occurred to you, Mrs
Jamesworthy. No, indeed! That would
| be letting your husband down too easy!
Your one ambition is to squander the
doubloons for which he barters his life
blood So you go to Pumphead's and
ask him what's the most expensive dope
| yet invented for floors and he digs up
| his confounded old wax and tells you 1t s
the best thing that's happened since CO.
lumbus discovered America"
| 'I'Il send the wax back to Mr.. Pump
head said Mrs. Jamesworthy, with a
resigned air, "and I'll have him send out
some yellow ochre and linseed oil. l
| have no doubt that you'll be glad to
paint the floors in the evening. as you
used to do in the grand old days"
| .'There you go again. cried James
worthy. .'You put a wrong construction
on everything l say! Painting the floor
was a recreation when / was young and
so agile that l could tie myself in a
|doubie-bowknot. but now that I'm in the
sere and yellow leaf you don't see me
Hoping around on my hands and knees
ldaubing yellow ochre over everything. !
don't believe any other woman ever had
SO little sympathy for her toilworn hus-
band. l come home from the changing