Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1912-02-08
By Way
Of Proof

Mint, SAID Ampley, careleSsly.
"Catnip," contradicted Ampleys
wife, decisively.
Ampley regarded her with the be-
nignly plying look men reserve for
erring and weak-minded members Of
their families. Geraldine" he said
in panied tone, do you suppose I've
lived all these years and escaped an
intimate acquaintance with mint in
it's various forms? 1t is Just as easy
to tell mint when you see it as it is
to recognize potato! This is mint"
Mrs. Ampley dropped her golf clubs
and sat down plump in the middle of
the disputed green stuff At the eight
eenth hole they had wandered off the
course into the inviting autumn woods
bordering the links. Her cap was one
sided and her face was flushed.
you may know mint" she admit
ted crisply. 1--we not the slightest
doubt that you could tell it in a tall
glass mile away, but let me inform
you that when it comes to catnip
you've nothing on me. Why, l was
brought up on catnip-almost!
Haven't l gathered it by the bushel
for the cats and kittens we always
had at home? Il"
Fine aroma" interrupted Ampley,
twisting the sprig he held beneath his
nose with the maddening air of con-
noisseur. Il don't know when I've
stumbled on finer bed of mint,
really!"
You'd infuriate me if you weren't
so silly" remarked his wife. "And
you are so absurGly stubborn!"
"What're you doing?" demanded
Ampley with curiosity as she began
picking handfuls of the herb and
stuffed them into her sweater peck
etc.
Mrs. Ampley regarded him coldly.
II am picking catnip," she informed
him, ito take home to the cats next
! door-and l intended to incidentally
prove to you that am in the right"
"Any sane cat" scoffed her hus-
band, would be insulted if handed a
bunch of that stuff! 1t would collect
all its intimate friends and sit out on
the back fence and yowl at you in
disgust"
His wife shifted. "Any cat would
be my friend for life" she contradict
ed. "The poor thing would be hys-
terical with joy! Did you ever see
cat playing with catnip?"
mo, but 1 am curious to observe
one having a jag of joy on plain
mint" said her husband. at will be
| novel;
"Shoo!" said Mrs. Ampley six times
to the golf club cat, which seemed de-
termined to tag them into the station
bus.
What ails the animal?" asked Am
pley.
"Catnip!" explained Mrs. Ampley,
sweetly.
"Umph!" commented Ampley. Walk
ing up the avenue to their home in
the dusk Ampley fell over some ami
NAL twice. what the" he began.
II think" said his wife casually,
chat it must be that big black cat
I've seen in this block 80 much. 1t
probably has shifted the catnip in my
pockets"
ooh, fudge!" growled Ampley.
Just as they sat down to dinner
there was a new from the front
porch. 1t was an insistent call and
Mrs. Ampley beamed.
"The dear thing!" she murmured.
"Cats are so intelligent! l dropped a
leaf of the stuff on purpose as came
in and it's calling for more! Listen
there are two of them now!'
Ampley got to his feet violently.
"Have we got to endure this serenade
all through dinner?" he inquired with
awful sarcasm. "Just because some
fool cats can't tell mint when they
see it,"
He opened the front door to scare
away the invaders, but they vanished
suddenly. For moment he thought
he saw shadowy forms fit by him, but
when he glanced back into the hall
nothing was to be seen.
'1t is really remarkable" unused
Mrs. Ampley, chow cleverly cats will
discover catnip and search it out!
See how those two on the porch"
"That was mere coincidence" Am
pley insisted. "a cat wouldn't walk
foot to smell of mint! And I'm tell
ing you that it was mint you picked!"
"Catnip!" said Mrs. Ampley serene
ly.
Ampley went upstairs to bed a lit
tie later, murmuring contradictory
things under his breath about the
green leaves plucked by his wife a
few hours before out at the club
Then presently he yelled. So weird
and alarmed was his cry that Mrs
Ampley came running to his assist
, ance.
When she got the room light turned
on she discovered Ampley crouching
with blanched face near the bed, on
which he evidently had placed his
hand. And he had thrust it into the
midst Of bunch of warm, furry. live
| lit FN, re-