The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1912-12-26
MY WIFE'S
BIRTHDAY
By CARL SARGENT CHASE

Thursday will be your birthday You
know how busy | am and how the fur
nishing of gifts for members of the
family distresses me. Bobby must
have a birthday gift for you as we'll
as me, and must provide his as we'll
as mine. Will you please relieve me
of the responsibility. by buying some
thing for me to give you and some
thing for Bobby to give your
This was not displeasing to my wife,
for she is a frugal woman and would
rather buy gifts for herself than that
/ should buy them for her. fearing
that would be too extravagant in the
matter. Besides. she has for some
time provided the family gifts for
birthdays and Christmas. However.
there is one feature of the matter that
needs careful attention. Our boy, Bob
by. aged ten. is not taken into the
secret He is supposed to assume that
| buy his and my own gifts for his
moth'NR
On this anniversary, being very much
engaged. after throwing the burden on
my wife's shoulders | did not even
take the precautiOn to have the usual
consultation with Bob as to what |
should procure for him for his mothers
birthday The day before the anniver
sary came round | suddenly remember
ed the matter. reminded him Of it and
asked him what he would like to give.
He prefers to pay for his gifts out Of
his own money and. having an eye to
business. suggested candy. we'll know
ing that nine-tenths of it would go into
his own stomach. He gave me the
money for the purchase, and straight
way Informed his mother of his choice.
telling her just what kind of sweets
he preferred for her. or. rather. for
himself
Ny wife left box containing my
gift for her in my closet, and so busy
was | that never thought to look at
it. The afternoon before her birth
day we walked out together. and dur
ing the walk she dropped in at candy
store and. finding a better article than
Bob had suggested for less money.
bought it. carefully instructing me as
to the reasons | should give Bob for
the change from his order.
That evening | took Bob into my
study, shut the door so that his mother
could not overhear our conversation
and showed him the candy. explaining
at the same time why the change had
been made Unfortunately | told him
double the price paid. He heard me
through then said:
Papa. | didn't suppose you would
allow any one to make such a guy of
you
What do you meanY' l asked, quite
taken aback.
ITO charge you so cents for half
pound of candy"
Not being able to explain the matter.
| tried to get out of it by directing his
attention elsewhere. so | took the box
containing my own present for his
mother from the closet and began to
open it.
Now. it suddenly occurred to me that
| was ignorant Of the contents of that
box While unwrapping it Bob asked
me several times what it was.
"You shall see," | said But the i'm
patient Bob did not see. for there was
a knot in the string that bound it
which | found it difficult to unite, so
kept repeating. You shall see, my boy.
what it is if you will only be patient
When | got the cover off | discovered
that the gift had been packed in ex
celsior, and | was obliged to hunt for
it. This caused more delay, during
which Bob continued to ask What is
it?" and | to reply You shall see.
But was cornered after all, for when
| produced a little round glass recep-
tacle profusely gilded. with hole in
the cover. | didn't know what it was.
What is it. papa?" again Bob que
ried, this time with new meaning.
for he had never seen one of the kind
before any more than | had.
Here was pretty predicament, l
had bought q present for mother with
out knowing to what use it was to be
put. That was a. dead giveaway l
looked it over. turned it upside down
and took off the lid. but for the life of
me | could not make out for what it
was intended Finally | hazardea:
"Why. don't you know what that u.s.
Bob? Why. it's "a thing lady puts
on her bureau to hold powder. and
that hole in the top is for the handle
of the thing she puts the stuff on her
face with The handle sticks out
through the hole"
Having said this directed Bob's at
tention again to his own present. and
he asked me if it would be allowable
for him to take Just one.
Having staggered through the matter
with Bob and come out whole by the
skin of my teeth. | went to his mother
and said:
"For heavens sake! Why didn't you
tell me what was the gift you had
bought for me to give you and what 1t