, 1912-10-09

all human intercourse. If it had NOT been
for his wife he would certainly have been in
the same miserable condition for the rest of
his life. She. however, moved heaven and
earth to get him re-examined, and eventu-
ally a we'll known skin expert was induced
to do SO, and found that poor Early was per-
fectly free from any infectious or contagious
disease.
Blunders on the part Of telegraphists have
often had odd, and sometimes disastrous re-
suits. An amusing story of a comedy OF
errors caused 10y u telegraphlc error comes
from ST. Gemmes, near Anglers. A police
man and another man were told off by the
mayor of Cholet to take a lunatic named
Legrande to the asylum at st. Gemmes. The
lunatic seemed to the policeman to be in the
full possession of his senses, so much so that
the officer fully anticipated trouble when
they should reach the asylum. He there
fore stopped at q Wayslde inn and called for
drinks for himself and his companions, his
idea being to make the lunatic too intoxica-
ted to resist. The result was what might
have been anticipated. Not only the luna
tie, but the other two arrived eventually at
the asylum in the state popularity known as
'blind to the world" They were all utter
" inc0Lerent, and the superintendent was
quite unable to make out which OF them was
The lunatic. In order to ascertain, he tele-
graphed the mayor Of Cholct. The mayor
replied in one word, "Legrund." The mes
sage arrived in two words, lie grand"
which, of course, means Ftho tail one" The
policeman, who was in plain clothes, hap
pencd to be much the taIlest of the three,
and was at once placed i'll Il cell, while the
other two, including the real %lunatlc, were
allowed to 90. When the unfortunate police
man came to his sober senses he naturally made
a vehement protest, Of INTELLECTUALLY ma
turally-no notice whatever was taken. And
for four DAYS he was left to kick his heels III
his cell, thinking of the wigging he was due
to get when he returned.
Those who have read that delightful old
book of Max Adeler's, "Out of the Hurry
Burly," will remember an absurd adventure
of one of the characters, a young man, who
goes to call upon the girl he is in love with,
and accidentally sits upon some glue which
has been split by II careless workman upon
the edge Of the veranda. Time passes, the
hour grows late, and the lady begins to
ynwn, but the poor young man is too bash
full to explain the reason why he is obliged
to remain immovable. At last, IN sheer
despair, he blurts out, "Miss Bessie, do you
think YOUR father would lend me his front
porch for q day or tWo?" The girl, thinking
that he has suddenly taken leave OF his
senses, bolts into the house to find her faith
er. He comes out and the unlucky swain
explains his prodicamont. But by this time
The glue has set, and The only way to release
the prisoner is to saw out a piece Of plank
ing. There is a ridiculous sequel in which
the young man sneaks home by unfrequented
bywnys with a squarefoot Of board glued to
the seat Of his trousers. A somewhat SINH
lar episode occurred not long ago in real life.
MIR. jackson, superintendent Of the poor
house at Portland, Oregon, reprinted a zinc
bath with u preparation of enamel, pur-
chased in a local shop, which was warranted
to dry hard. A couple of days later he took
a hot bath and, while reclining comfortably
in the water, went to sleep. Waking ur, he
found 10 his horror that his hair, back, and
legs were securely glued to the bath. He
could not reach the bell; the door was locked.
The only thing was to shout. The water
was nearly cold by the time his cries were
heard, and then the door had to be broken
down. Even after that it was a most diff
cult and painful piece of work to prise HIM
loose, and he required a doctors attention
when the Job was at last completed.