davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
REPORTER MUST DO AS TOLD
distinguished Statesman Is Cut Short
in His Reflections Over the
Political Situation.

Senator" said the new reporter.
may ask what you think of the
political situation?"
The distinguished statesman re-
fiected a moment.
Il presume" he said. you do not
wish me to express an opinion as to
the relative chances of the various
candidates for the office of president
of the United States. While | may
have my own individual opinion, as a
matter of course, 1t would be worth
nc more to you than that of any 9th
er person. Every man who has pref
erence for any particular candidate,
or the candidate of any particular
party, is prone to look at the pros
poets of that candidate through party
spectacles. In other words, our opin
ions are colored more or less by our
hopes. take it that what you want
of me Is a sort of general glance
over the field at large, and"
Pardon me, senator" interrupted
the new reporter, closing his note
book, but the city editor told me te
get about a hundred words from you
and | think you have overrun thai
number a little. Thank you very
much Good day."
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
AMPLE REWARD FOR COOKING
Woman In Seattle Receives Severe
Jolt When Seeking Token of Her
Efforts to Please,

The cook for well known Seattle
family left. and no other could be OBJ
tanned, SO the lady Of the house did
the cooking herself, with such salts
factory results that, after month.
her husband gave her beautiful set
of sables as token of his apprecia-
ton Of the good dinners he had en-
joyed.
OF course the neighbors soon heard
of this, and when the cook left in an
other equally well known family the
lady Of that house said to her hus-
band:
Well, the cook has gone and I'm
not going to bother to get another
I'm going to do the cooking myself
deary. You heard what Mr.. So-and
So gave his wife when she did the
cooking?"
And, putting her arms round his
neck, she cooed. What shall l gel
for my cooking?"
Woman" said her husband, push
ing her away. you will get a Ions
black veil.'
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
An Amusing Toy.

the impact OF their blows. These
blows, by the way, are delivered by
the operators fingers, which are
thrust through openings In the shout
ders of the figures and have miniature
boxing gloves fastened on the tips.
converting them into lifelike looking
arms, The lower portion of the fight
ers-from the waist DOWNS drawn
on the card, but their torsos and heads
are in separate pieces. pivoted at the
waist, so that they swing freely.
There is a stop. however SO that If
one Of the men gets an unusually
vigorous punch In the jaw he will
only bend back to certain point and
will spring forward again to the fray.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
ITCHING AND BURNING

1866 West 46th Ave. Denver, Colo
Il had a very sore leg. 1t troubled
me for some twenty years and finally
broke out to a running sore with
much fever and terrible itching and
burning. 1t burned and itched so bad.
ly l could not rest day or night and
was obliged to lie in bed. The sores
were in spots just as raw as a piece
OF beef. l used medicine, yet il
wouldn't heal. Seeing the advertise.
ment for Cuticura Soap and Ointment
l Immediately wrote for some. The
Immediate cure was more remarkable
than l can describe l was complete
ly cured" (Signed) Mrs. Curry
Brown, April IL, 1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address
postcard "Cuticura, Dept L, Boston"
Adv.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
A Nice Distinction.

Senator Gronna, discussing a knot.
ty tariff problem, said in speech:
There is nice distinction involved
here. You don't notice it at first
Once 1t is pointed out to you, however
you perceive its immense Importance
Its the sort of distinction that
Gobsa Golde's beautiful young wife
revealed to him during a conjugal
quarrel over a diamond tiara
People say quavered the old
man, trembling with. rage People
say you only married me because had
money
The young woman smiled superbly.
Rubbish! she exclaimed. My pri-
mary reason for marrying you was
that had no money myself
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
OUR DEBT TO BUMBLE-BEEs
These Busy Little Workers Play I'm
portant Part In Fertilization OF
Many Pretty Flowers.

Barney Hoskin Standlsh In an ar
ticle on THE BumbleBee" for the st.
Nicholas says. The work of the |
bumble-bee In bringing about the |
cross-fertilization of flowers Is as I'M |
portant as that of the honey-bee. and
these two stand at the head OF the list
of insects useful in this respect. Each
has its flowers which 1t alone visits,
but there are many flowers on neu-
may say OF the bumblebe as of the
honey-bee, the more bumble-bees the
more seeds; the more seeds the more
howers--speciany wild flowers, az the
tall beethoven, touch-me-not, Solo
mon's-seal, gentian, Dutchmens-
breaches, and turtle-head. But prob
ably the most important work this In
sect does for agriculture is upon the
fields of red clover There is album
dant proof that this plant will not pro-
duce seed without the cooperation OF
the bumblebee. II is impossible for
the wind to bring about the fertiliza-
ton of the seed, as 1t may do In the
case of Indian corn, grain and some
forest trees. The tube Of red-clover
blossoms, too, is SO long that other IN
sects (including the honey-bee) arr
not regular visitants.
Here Is proof that this plant mus
have visits from the bumble-bee. Thii
insect is not a native Of Australia
and red-clover failed to produce seet
there until bumble-bees were import
ed. AS soon as they became numerous
the plant could be depended upon fol
seed. Again, the blossoms of the first
crop of the medium red-clover" 81
our own country are just as perfect sf
those OF the second crop, but there
are too few bumble-bees In the field
so early in the season, to produce fer
tilization; hence little or no seed In
this crop. II bumble,bees were suffi.
GENTLY numerous there is no reason
why much larger yields of clover seed
might not be expected than at pres
emit
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
Secret Of Trick.

tips closely. and perhaps will say he
scarcely knows which one to mark.
for they all look SO much alike. Final
ly, he will choose one. Open your
hand. Much to the dismay Of your
friend he will find that he marked the
first finger, the third, or the little one.
Let another person try his luck.
He, too, will meet with disappoint-
ment. After you have allowed several
persons to try, without success. dis
close the trick to them II you like.
Tell them you we're able to fool
them because your middle finger
wasn't there at all but was folded IN
der. The only way anyone could find
this out would be to sit behind the
performer.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
NAMED THE FIRST REQUISITE
Bright Boy May Have Lacked Orig
inality. but He Surely Had
Correct Answer.

This brave man, beloved by all
france, was then buried with full
military holors," Baltimore boy
read from the lesson, when his name
had been called.
What are military honors' in this
connection" the teacher asked, and
several boys seemed to be possessed
OF the right idea.
And what must one be to receive
such honors?" was the next question.
"A general?" "A hero?" "A cap.
tain?'' were few of the tentative re.
plies. Only the bright boy" of the
class remained silent.
Have you no answer james," the
teacher suggested, what must one
be-"
Why, l should say dead, Miss
Mary was the reply.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
We Expect Too Much.

81 can't understand these French
people over the telephone" com
planned the English lady who had a
fiat in Paris.
Don't they talk distinctly"
Il suppose SO. But they talk
French, while l speak only English. =
We'll. what do you expect?"
IF these inventors were really any
good, seems to me they would get ur
a patent attachment to obviate that
difficulty"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
RIDDLES.

What is the longest sentence known
TO history? Sentence for life.
What is 1t that you give away all of
It and can still keep all of it? Your
promise.
Why is Cupid a poor marksman
He is always making Mrs. (misses).
What does Washington, d. c., stand
tor? Washington. Daddy Of His Coun
try.
What is the last thing you take of
before going to bed? Your feet rom
of the floor.
When Is woman not a woman
When she Is little cross.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
POODLE DOG LOSES ONE LEG
Victim Of STREET Car Accident 10 Furn.
ished With Artificial Limb by
Sympathetic Boy.

A very intelligent white poodle dog
which had one of it's forelegs cut Off
in a street car accident wandered out
into the country and was adopted by
farm boy. He took the dog to a
doctor. who dressed the leg, and when
1t healed the boy fitted an artificial
leg over the stump with laced glove
Top and little rubber pad for the
foot With this leg the dog travels
almost as well as ever. but occasion
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
Sacrifice Made for Dress.

Using the Log Angeles fashion show
for his text, DR.. Alfred Jones, distin
guished nerve specialist of London,
now visiting the California city, made
the assertion that dress is causing
the ruination of more lives in Ameri-
ca than malignant disease" He said
the intense competition among Amer
lean women of all classes to keep up
the pace set by fashion was nerve
racking and nerve-destroying.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
HELPING the People.

These philanthropists take some
strange notions"
How now"
81 met one once in a northwestern
state He hung around the legisla-
ture all one session and bribed the
boys to vote against every crooked
bill"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
MOST AMUSING LITTLE TOY
and Forth Under Impact OF Blows
Heads Are Separated.

A most amusing toy that can be
made by any ingenious boy has been
patented by an Illinois man. 1t con-
sists of piece Of cardboard or thin
wood upon which the figures of two
boxers swing back and forth under
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
II Wasn't the Money

you advertised for young lady
to be married in cage of lions"
That's right. Fifty plunks. Where's
your young mani"
Don't you provide the man? What
do you suppose was my object in go
ing into this AFFAIR.""
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02

so that only the tips OF your four fin
gers show Hand pencil to one Of
the boys or girls and tell them to res,
the point on the end of your finger
which they think is the middle one
that is, the longest one.
Your friend will look at your finger
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
Why Not7

Madam, you wear too much false
hair. 1t Injuries the nerve centers and
fatigues the blood cells of the brain"
Young woman. what do you mean
by such impertinence?"
"Hoity. toity, now. I'm the welfare
inspector for the idle rich
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02

Winks-Why don't you live GU, In
the suburbs, where you can have a
garden and grow what you eat?
Binks-Because it is a nuisance lug
ging out vegetables from the market.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
Strictly Temperate.

THE meen-you says 'demi-tasse' at
the end, pa. Shall we git some?"
"None o. them air insidjus French
drinks for me! Tell 'em to bring US
lust plain coffee"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
Futile.

Reynard looked at the cunningly
baited trap with contemptuous
smile s~t
1T might tempt a muskrat," he
said, but my fur is too scarce and
valuable to be caught by a thing like
that"
You can't fool wise old fox even
n part of the time.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
The Difference.

THAT woman is the most curious
person ever met She wants to know
about everything"
"She isn't half as cucious as her
husband"
"My dear, he isn't curious. He sim.
ply has a great desire for Knowledge"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
Up in the Air.

Aviator-How do you like this ideal
way OF travelling?
Scared Passenger don't like high
ideals in travelling. I'd rather take
low ground.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02

Literary Aspirant-H long did 1,
take you to write that story of yours
Eminent Author-Twc weeks.
Literary Aspirant-I am going to
write one. | am going to have a va
cation for two weeks"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
Near.Gre atness,

Mrs. Shoddy told me there was
something in the papers about her be-
ing at the De styles ball"
81 didn't see her name"
mo, but she was one Of the many
others
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
Exceptions.

DO you think man ought to say,
o. you chicken! to a lady passing
by?"
Not unless he il in his green and
salad days and wants to get into 4
stew"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
CLEVER TRICK WITH FINGERS
Middle Digit May Be Turned Under
In Such Way That II is Entirely
Obscured From View.

To find out how sharp the eyes of
some of your friends are try the fol-
lowing trick In their presence:
Place your left hand over your right
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
Unsophlsticated.

Darling" said the fond youth, pro
ducing ring, (which is the right
finger?"
For goodness sake, Algy!" re.
sponded the maiden, don't you know?
Nineteen years old, and never been
engaged to a girl before!"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
OF Course.

Doesn't the sight of peach make
you want to smack your lips?"
mo, indeed. The sight of a peach
makes me want to smack her lips"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
EXPLAINED.

No politicians are ever afraid of a
thunderstorm"
why not politicians?"
Because they are only too anxious
for the lightning to strike"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02

A man isn't far from right when
he's willing to admit that he is in the
wrong.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
Too Quick.

How about your idea Of introduc-
ing parliamentary rules in your de-
bates with your wife?"
Given it up. She was too quick at
It."
"How so?"
I'm the very first debate We had
about buying handsome handwork
uenterpiece, she moved at once to lay
the subject on the table"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02

Mother-Cynthia. l wish you would
not go out and play golf so much with
that young Phoebe.
Cynthia-Why, mother, if | didn't
do that he'd come her and talk it all
the time.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
No Compromise.

Does your wife start anything
when she gets mad with you?"
mo. she never starts anything"
Lucky fellow!"
Not so lucky as you think. She
never starts anything because she has
never stopped the original row"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02

Mrs. wiusrow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces iniamma.
tion, allays pain, cures wind collie, Csc a bottle.
Adv.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02

But when friend tells you some
thing for your own good it's a sign
that pleasure will be all his.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02

Mr. Nagger-A woman's work is
never done.
Mrs. Nagger-Especially when her
work consists in trying to reform a
man.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02

A woman always suspects another
woman who never sheds tears.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
He Begins to See.

When l first hit town. remarked
Farmer Heck. Il ulster stand on a cor
ner and wonder how all these city
people managed to live"
"Well?"
We'll. seeing as they have got s3S
out Of me in four days. it amt such a
mystery, after all"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02

The man who invests in green goods
must want money bad.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02

important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
Large Paris Library.

The Imperial library of Paris con-
taips two million volumes
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02

Most people who live according to
their convictions are convicts.
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02

well, she doesn't cackle. anyhow"
The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-11-02
Point In Her Favor
auns With Artificial Leg,

"A female fly lays 10000 eggs 9
season"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-21
GOT HIS NOTES MIXED UP
!Hbssnt.M!rded Man Has Sumo DIM.
Guilty at the Book store and
the Grocers'.

As the little man walked absent.
n%rlndedly along the side walk he sud.
denly stopped In front Of a bookstore.
II recalled TO him the meaning Of that
piece % string on his finger, and with
Il frightened face he catered.
Just a minute" he said to the
clerk "aIy wife wanted ne to get
n SOCK for heJ--n certain luyel she's
hea.G a gOcd dea. stHTt. must find
the MEMORANDUM she gave NE. She
wr'!e the am on a slip Of paper,
ard put il in my pCc!.et."
AI'er considerable fumb!irg he pro.
nuced a small bit or paper, and laung
IL on the counter. TOOK GU his SPEC
la'les ard adjusted them ON his nose.
Here's the nane-Cobh's CorIa-
tine. Yes, that's H."
I'm AFRAID ! don't know the
book, sir" said the clerk apoiogetical.
", but III look through the list OF
hrW ones And lie ran his eye over
~" list on the wall NO, I'm sorry
70 say l cant find 1t here. You are
.Cro OF the Nance"
'fos, IT'S right here On this piece
II parer,"
wen. I'm afraid We haven't got
I theu."
'"Ht--bnt don't dare TO 10 home
% NJ wife without l.. l promised 20
gel 1t for her"
ihe clerk called 20 another In tha
.'cN o. the store. who cune forward.
TO the Othor he said. "Sav nm do
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-21
Many q Suffering Woman

Drags herself painfully through hel
daily tasks, suffering from backache
headache, nervousness, loss Of appetite
and poor sleep, not knowing her Ills are
due to kidney and bladder troubles.
Foley Kidney Pills give quick relieve
from pain and misery and a prompt re.
turn to health and strength. No WON
an who so suffers can afford TO overlook
Foley Kidney Pills. Globe Drug Store.
DO not ALLOW your kidney and bladder
trouble to develop beyond the reach of
medicine. Take Foley Kidney Pills.
The give quick results and stop irregu.
larities with surprising promptress.
Globe Drug Store.
More people, men and women, are
suffering from kidney and BIZ oder trou.
Die than ever before, and each year more
more OF them turn for quick relief and
permanent benefit to i, ley's Kidney
ReineIy, which has proven itself to be
one o. the most effective remedies for
kidue, and bladder ailments, tina, lnedi
cal science has devised.
DAY Asthn1> nnd Sunne- Colds
Must be relieved quickly and Foley's
tloney and Tar Compound will do il.
l.. u. Stewart, 1891 Wolfram ST., Chica.
20, writes: Il have been greatly troubled
dn:ing tie hot summer months with
Hay Gev,r and find that by using Fol.
ey's Honey and Tar Compound | get
great relief. Many others WHO suffer
similarly will be glad to benefit by Mr.,
Stewar, 5 experience. Globe Drug Stcie
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-21
HOW GOLD PENS APE MADE
Metal Is Rolled Into a Ribbon and
Pen Shapes Are Cut Out by
machinery.

The tiny tip OF white metal seer on
pen may lie Of platinum, but it is Ia"re
likely to lie iridium. Iridium is u ;,!y
hard metal and IT is expensive; il
costs about four times as much as
gold. The purpose Of the iridium tip
), of course, 10 give tie pen a more
durable tip.
The gold pen maker buys his gold
t the assay Office In bars Of pure "a
arat gold. which he malts and alloys
,th his silver and copper to the de
cree Of fneness required. Geld OF II
l:ara,s IS used in the manufacture Of
the hes, American gold pens. that be-
ing the degree OF frcness deemed
most suitable for pen use; hut good
ems made In this country for sac in
France are made OF Is karats, the
french government requiring that al
articles exposed for sale in that Il
':y az god shall be OF not less than
Is karats.
The gold from which the pens ~re
10 hc made Is rolled and rcgolled unit!
' hat was originally a thick. heavy bar
Cf gold has been rolled into n tina
rold ribbon about three feet in length
~ tour inches wide. Then this gold
ribbon Is put into a machine which
stamps out Of II pen shanas. al Still
fat. Then on the tip Of each Of these
! ems is fused the iridium l'."t, and
tlen the shapes 70 to n s|littias ma
thine, which cut the slit in TIE pen
from this Sitting machine the pens
p through another. which gives them
taeir rounded, familiar ron form. ard
ten the pens are ground and polish
{ and finished ready Cor use,
American gt'd pens In fountain peas
Or az dip rens are so!d In every coun'
I y In Europe in competition VITA pas
G. British or Of German manufac'cro.
aad undcr tho same competition they
&C sold throughout the world, in
America. Africa. Japan. C-!ne,
. Ae.ever Iens are used.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-21
70 Our Friends.

We wouid,asx our trends who have
orders Of publication, trustees sales,
administrators notices, and other
legal printing, TO remember us, we
can do your work correctly and at
fair prices. Please remember and
aol't forget it.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-21
Repels Attack Of Death.

Give years sgo I've doctors told me
had ouly two years to live" This start
Ing statement was made by Stillmar
Green, Malachite, Col. They told the
| would die with consumption. II was
up to NE then to try the best lung med.
icine and l began to use DR.. King s New
Discovery. 1t Vas we'll I did, for today
/ au working ard believe l owe my life
t. this great throat and lung cure that
has cheated the grave of another victim"
Its folly to suffer with coughs, colds or
ether throat aud lung troubles now.
Take the cure that's safest. Price so
cents and si.OC. Trial bottle free at
Karde,l Drug Co.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-21
To MOthers-and Others.

You Can use Bucklen's Arnica Salve to
cure children Of eczema, rashes, letter,
chsfngs, scaly and crus.ed humors, as
we'll as their accidental injuries, cuts,
burns, bruises, etc, with perfect safety.
Nothing else heals SO quickly. For
boils, ulcers, old, running or fever sores
or piles it has no equal. IS cts at Kar-
del! Drug Co.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-21

A sore throat can be treated best from,
the outside. The throat should be
rubbed scnily with BALLARD'S SNOW
LlNfMt.NT. Apply at night and cover
with a Gotten cloth bandagc; by morning
ilie soreness will disappear. Price 25c,
soc and 81 w per bottle. SOLD by Globe
Drug Store.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-21


bad.
A good nights sleep is of more value
Loss Of Money Means Loss Of Psy
Kidney trouble and the ills it breeds
means los, time and lost pay to many q
working man. NJ. Balent, 1914 Little
Penna ST.. Streator, H., was so bad from
kidney and bladder trouble that he could
not work, but he says; ~ took Foley
Kidney Pills for only a short time and
got entirely well and was soon able t. 20
back to work, and am feeling we'll and
healthier than before" Foley Kidney
Pills are tonic in action, quick in results
"a good friend to the working man or
woman who suffers from kidney ills.
Globe Drug Store.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-21

HERBiNt; cures constipation re and
estabiishe regular bowel movements.
Price Soc. Soid by Globe Drug Store.