davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
KENTUCKY
By GEORGE FITCH,
Author of "At Good Old Siwash."

Kentucky is one Of the warmest
American States, not only climaticaiiy
but politically. 1t is situated just south
of the healthy repartee belt and is sep
arated from Ohio, Indiana and Illinois
by the Ohio River, which is often swum
by minority delegates in Kentucky
caucuses.
Kentucky is shaped like a suffragette
shoe and is Of medium size, about No.
9 on an last. It was settled by Daniel
Boone with the aid Of a long rife in
1863, and the Daniel Boone method OF
settlement is still piously maintained in
most parts OF the State in all important
questions.
Kentucky IS a wonderfully fertile re-
gion and huge crops are raised when
ever the inhabitants have time. The
State is full OF fast horses, beautiful
women. fine whisky, and red hot men.
II has only 2.20o,0OO inhabitants. but It
could have had 100000 II the early Ken
tuckian had been water -jacketed and
kept below a shooting temperature. Men
kill each other over politics in Tennes-
see and over cards in Texas, and as a
recreation in Chicago, but in Kentucky
crops, politics. and family Quarrels are
all fatal The result is that in some
districts the kentuckian who dies in bed
with his boots of is sat upon by the
coroner. who tries to find the reason.
Kentucky raises more tobacco than
any other State, when the night rider
doesn't ride. The night rider is a sort
Of human boil weevi which gets into
the crops and ruins them with a hoe.
It travels in crowds and is brave and
fearless wherever its opponent is Un-
armed. The feud is another Kentucky
disease which has put a sad cramp into
the population. The fued flourishes in
the mountains Of Eastern Kentucky
where the railroad and the Public
Library do not intrude, and is a sort Of
four generation family quarrel con-
dmctah With shot r-Lna Win nnn fllnAl.t
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
Built Upon Quieksand.

If successful in being launched and
fully established, We should like to
know whose party the one called into
existence at Chicago late on Saturday
night would be, the plain peoples" or
Roosevelts? We know of no party hav-
ing been formed since this government
was founded that was created for the
specific purpose of providing a disap-
pointed Presidential candidate with a
nomination Unless Americans have
taken leave of their well-Enown COM
mon sense no such party ever will be
formed.
Mr.. Roosevelts new progressive
party, whose formation he has invited
in the absence of an overwhelming call
for it among his own followers (where
was Gov. Hadley and others Of his
most ardent followers?) would not
even enjoy the vitality of the Populist
party of twenty years ago, nor would
It survive any longer than the indie
pendence League. The Populists were
a set of men at least with original prin-
Ciples, such as no other political. or
ganization ever had represented, yet
they were quickly absorbed by the De-
mocracy, just as soon as that party TN
der Bryan had met the aspirations of
their rank and file.
- he
name, prestige and reputation of a single
man is as bad as building upon quick
sand, and this is actually the only asset
the new party has at present And as
carrying into a national contest the
many radical features which he, during
the primary campaign, has discussed, all
we can say once the Presidential nomi-
nation has been gained, is that We are
used to hear Mr. Roosevelt declare the
urgent need of any number of specific
issues according to the eXigency of the
hour. Knowing him as We have reason
to believe that we do, we do not hesi-
tate to add that Mr.. Roosevelt himself
would not care for the allegiance of such
partisans any longer than to exhaust
their capacity to sutain his personal am
bitions.
That the progressive movement is
somewhat larger than any personality,
to quote one instance, is evidenced by
the action of Cows Hadley and Deneen
who declined to go into the movement,
as soon as he had satisfied himself that
the Taft platform meant to be progress
sive in a sens.bl way, and that Roose-
welt, in the eyes of thinking people,
would not have leg to stand upon
when once this was fully understood by
all.
And to conclude: The third-term
movement is nine-tenths Roosevelt and
only one-tenth progressive. Take Roose-
welt out of the situation, would there
be any talk of a bolt? New parties that
are formed to be permanent and through
the means of which serious-minded men
try to accomplish real results are never
built upon so unsubstantial a fabric as
one mans hold upon a number of ad-
herents.
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26

him with interest, and presently he
brought his paw down on the mouse, but
so gently that 1t was not injured in the
least. Then the lion played with the
mouse. now letting him run few inches
and stopping him again.
Suddenly the mouse changed his tactics.
and instead of running when the lion
shifted his paw, sprang straight at the
big animals head.
The lion. terrified. gave a great leap
backward and roared in extreme fright.
while the little mouse made his escape.
OF the two the lion was the more fright
ened.
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
4 suggestion.

Prom the New York Sun.
For Secretary Of state-George Wal
bridge Perkins, OF New York.
For Secretary OF the Treasury-Frank
Andrew Munsey. Of New York.
For Secretary Of War-Cecil Anrdew
Lyon. of Texas.
For Attorney General-James Rudolph
Garfield, Of Ohio.
For Postmaster General-Ormsby Nc
Harg, of New York.
For Secretary OF the Navy-william
Finn. OF Pennsylvania
For Secretary OF the Interior-Gifrord
Finchot. Of the District Of Columbia,
For Secretary of Agriculture-Timothy
Lester Woodruff, Of New York.
For Secretary Of Commerce and Labor
Amos Pinchot, of Pennsylvania.
PLATFORM.
ca
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
A Lion and n Mouse.

In the Berlin zoo a mouse was put in
the cage Of a lion to test whether. as the
old stories assert, there was a natural
affection between them. The experiment
was rather astonishing.
The lion saw the mouse before he was
fairly through the bars, and was after
him instantly. Away went the little fell
low, squeaking in fright. When he had
gone a few yards the lion headed him
on, and this was repeated until the
mouse stood still.
The lion then stood over him, studying
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26

in a narrow alley and the second fued-
Ist refuses to sidetrack the first fued-
list shoots him. Then the son Of the
fuedist Of the second part shoots the
fuedist Of the first part and the nephew
OF the fuedist Of the first part shoots
the son and second cousin OF the fuedist
OF the second part and the brother-in-
law and uncle by marriage Of the fued-
ist of the second part catch the nephew
and grandson and sister and cousin by
marriage Of the fuedist of the first part
at church and I'LL them so full Of lead
that they have to be taken home on a
truck. Taking the census in Breathitt
County by piece work is a poorhOuse job.
Kentucky has many fine old cities and
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
THE PEOPLES FORUM
should Be Remembere5.

To the Editor: Mr.. Bryan and Mr..
Roosevelt. in spite Of many mistakes and
apparent failures, hold their places as
brilliant, thoughtful, earnest public men
who have done and said things more
numerous and more important in the es-
timation OF more of their countrymen
than any other two men Of their day.
Why should we decry them? Why not re-
member their usefulness and hearten
them to continue Il? Surely men have
leave to print and millions Of US like to
read what these men say whether we
agree or not-evenl to ''ArmaKeddon.
rHE BLACK HAWK
Fod No. Va, Juns 4, Il2 ---.S
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26

Here is a resourceful man who might
have helped along the Roosevelt cause
at Chicago, had Teddy but known him
He is from Ohio and being sued for di-
vOrce, he quickly retaliates by suing his
mother-in-law for alternating his wife's
Affections
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26

Lillian Russell has married an editor
and all the newspaper men feel chesty, .
says a paragrapher Of the st. Paul Pio-
neer Press Not we, thank you Grand
mother Lillian may be some connois-
seur" in picking out one Of the ,profesh, .
but so are we
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
DIP" GETS OFF EASY.
Judge LeRient with PIckpOcket
Who Has TubercuIOsis.

From the Philadelphia North American
Because John Ackroyd, alias Reddy
the Lamb. a pickpocket, who has been
arrested twenty-five times during the
last seven years, has developed tubercu-
losis, Judge Ralston was lenient recent
ly in sentencing him to one year in the
county prison from date OF commitment
for being implicated in the theft OF
$500 from the pocket Of Eugene a.
Menet. of East Allegheny Avenue.
Ackroyd has been in prison since last
October, and has only one month Of the
term to serve. Though he is a profess
sional picSpocket. he has never before
been convicted. He has served a num-
Der of short sentences under the pro-
teSsiopal thieves, act \
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26

Considering that the women delegates
to the Chicago convention were not heard
from at all, almost makes US wish that
the next convention should be one of
women.
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26

beautiful plantations. It is noted for It's
sunshine, its moonshine, its blue grass,
and its red noses, its mint juIeps and its
whisky. Making taxed whisky is a bust
ness in Kentucky and making an un-
taxed whisky is a recreation.
There are many mountains in Ken
lucky. but only one volcanO-Col. Wat
terson, Of the Louisville CourIer-JournaL
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
ALITTLE NONSENSE.
ALL IN THREE MONTHS.

ALL IN THREE MONTHS.
APRIL
Father wants q motor car,
A tiny one. indeed.
So It is free from Jolt and jar.
He doesn't want 70 speed.
MAY.
Father wants a touring car,
The 40-horsepower breed;
No extra parts its lines TO mar.
He rather likes TO speed.
JUNE
Father wants q racing car,
The kind that's guaranteed
To leave all other makes afar.
He fairly dotes on speed
Uncle PennywIse saysI
A woman thinks her husband has
changed after marriage. But he hasn't;
be- always spent several hours q day
reading the paper.
Specifying the Dates.
waiter, bring me some 1850 elaret."
Yes, SIR"
"And some 1872 eggs"
June 25 in History.
June, z, 1a5-Napoleon Bonaparts
bumps up against the steam roller.
June Is. 1534-Henry VIII inyents fudge.
Think Of This.
"I saw something sad on that Indian
reservation"
What was it7"
"A boy scout was teaching some little
Indian boys how to make traps and
trail game"
The Girl Graduate.
Standing with reluctant feet
Where the curb and asphalt meetl
Girl, beware Of tarry ooze
On your snow-white summer shoes.
Asked and Answered.
What happens when you put the dol
lar before the man?" bawled the candi-
date.
''The man goes after IT." answered an
old farmer in the crowd.
American Peasantry.
That lady's husband is worth fifty
Millions
Il suppose she doesn't associate with
you ladies whose husbands are earning
only some ten thousand a year"
mo; but understand that she alludes
to US as very fine class Of peasantry."
Why the ExceptionF
do spectators hoot at a golf gamer"
"Oh, no."
DO they try to rattle the players at
polo?"
Certainly not. That might cause ssri-
Gus accidents"
DO they get abusive at a tennis
You know they do not"
Then why baseball?'
The Real Test.
He's a real musician. He can make
TIE ToT
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26

When this history making is over, then
the appeal to the real history makers.
Considering the rulings Of a strong
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26

Free advice does not amount to much
unless the man who offers 1t can back IT
by showing a fat bank account.
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26

Even If this should be the political end
Of Senator La Toilette, he will always
be remembered as the man with the POM
padour.
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26

minded temporary chairman, as witnessed
by Mr.. Bryan at Chicago, no wonder he
opposes Judge Parker.
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
God forbid.
Frcm the PhiIadelrhia b.

From the Philadelphil Prs
The Democrats are evidently in a mood
to take chances this year. Baltimore re-
ports one TO have been injured in a bath
tub there. He slipped and hurt himself,
probably as a result Of a lack Of prac-
tice.
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26

Wonder II Gompers does not now be.
lieve in the recall Of court decisions?
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
why the Exception ?
The Real Tcnt

Hes a real musician. He can make
the piano talk.
But can he make the audience keep
still?"
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
Uncle Pennywise sayGI

A woman thinks her husband has
changed after marriage. But he hasn't;
be, always spent several hours day
reading the paper.
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
Think of This.

'T saw something sad on that Indian
reservation"
What was it7''
"A boy scout was teaching some little
Indian boys how to make traps and
trail game"
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
specifrinr the paten.

waiter. bring me some 1850 elaret"
Yes. SIR"
"And some 1872 eggs"
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
Asked and Answered.

What happens when you put the dol
lar before the man?' bawled the cAndi-
date.
The man goes after IT," answered an
old farmer in the crowd.
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
American Peasantry.

That Iady's husband is worth fifty
millions"
Il suppose she doesn't associate with
you ladies whose husbands are earning
only some ten thousand a year."
mo; but / understand that she alludes
70 us as a very fine class Of peasantry."
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
juno % fn HiGtorY.

June, Is. 1s5-Nspoleon Bonaparts
bumps UP against the steam roller.
June Is, 153+-Henry VIII invents fudge.
The Washington herald., 1912-06-26
The Girl Graduate,

Standing with reluctant feet
Where the curb and asphalt mestl
Girl, beware OF tArry ooze
On your snow-white summer shoes.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-05-03

aaeration.-Senator Gardner, dis
cussing in Washington his bill for TAX
ing over the express companies and es-
tablishing a parcels post, said, with
smile:
"The opponents of this bill declare
that a parcels post is too difficult an
undertaking for our government to
handle. AS II our government were in
capable of carrying on what the Eng
lish and German and French govern
ments have carried on for years.
Our opponents exaggerate the diff
ficulties. They are like the man from
Canada
"A man from Canada sat in the lob
by Of a New York hotel listening to
cold weather yarns. These yarns gave
very convincing examples Of the suf-
fering and hardship occasioned by the
last winters excessive cold. Finally.
the Canadian coughed. and said:
Your cold weather yarns, GENTLE
men, make a Canadian smile. You
think you've had a cold winter down
east here, but up my way, from last
November clean through to March,
He paused, struck his arm with his
fist and said:
Prom last November, clean through
to March, our hot water bottles froze
in our beds every blessed night.
Louis Globe Democrat.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-05-03

The Actors Clothes.-Our principal
actor Of whims was Mr.. Mansfield, as
has been made known variously. One
whim Of his is related by Fritz
Schoultz, the costumer.
When it came to the staging OF
1.-THE First Violin" Mansfield was keen
to get garments with character in
them and found that Of all places
Schoultz's was the one that could sup
ply him with redingotes. He was de-
lighted with them, introduced them
and at the end of the Chicago engage
ment absolutely declined to return
them.
The matter Of getting stage clothes
with character is interesting in itself.
Second hand shops supply the most,
although on occasions an actor has
been known to approach laborer on
the street and make him an offer for
his weatherbeaten coat.
William Norris, lately returned to
us, made an extensive hunt in New
York for clothes characteristic OF his
part in "The Children of Ghetto"
He found his quarry on the street.
made his bargain and was to have the
odd garments that night. They ar
rived, neatly secured and pressed and
with every vestige Of character miss
ing.-Chicago Post.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-05-03

What She Wanted.-Jim Mann was
on his way back from Chicago and
couldn't help hearing the converse
ton of the couple in the section right
behind his They looked like newly
married folk, but were not on their
honeymoon, as Mann learned by de-
duction. The woman laid down a
newspaper she had been reading and
said to her husband:
do you know, 1 wish / had one OF
these afinities. Oh, think it would
be Just GRAND to sit on rock
with somebody and have him rave
about the incompatible golden color
of.my hair and tell me that my eyes
were the most beautiful in the whole
world. and"-
"Uh, huh," said the husband, yawn-
ing.
land that the delicate pink of my
cheeks had been painted there by the
angels and that he couldn't live with
out me. Ooh, think an affinity like
that would be-
"'Tisn't an affinity you want" in
terrupted her husband. What you
seem to want is a plain old-fashioned
liar National Monthly.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-05-03
ENDOWMENT INSURANCE

The average layman has the impress
sion that life insurance Is a die-to-w win
proposition, but all who think this way
are mistaken. because 1t Is a fact that
it Is winning proposition whether the
assured lives or dies. The Mutual
Benefit issues policies that guarantee
to pay the assured the face Of the pol
icy in cash at the end Of Ten, Fifteen
or Twenty years, If living, or at prior
death, whether that event occurs on
the day the policy is delivered and
paid for. or on any other day pre-
vious to the end Of the Ten, Fifteen or
Twenty year period. Policies carry
ing this guarantee cost more than a
Ten, Fifteen or Twenty Pay life pol
icy-a life policy being a contract In
which the face or principal sum is pay
able at death, but under the unique
accelerative endowment plan Of the
Mutual Benefit a life policy Is convert
ed into an endowment and the pre-
MUM Is the same as Is charged on any
other life policy. The only difference
being that instead of using dividends
to reduce cost they are allowed to ac-
cumulate. The plan and its advan-
tages cannot be satisfactorily explain
ed within the space that Is available,
and If you are interested, and you
should be II you are not, II you will
indicate q desire for further informa-
tion 1t will be my pleasure to fur
nish 1t.
SAM M. GRlST, Special Agent.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-05-03

The Weak Boom.-Medill Mccormick
was talking in Washington about one
of many feeble boonfs.
That boom is as feeble" he said,
las feeble, ah-well, 1 can only illus
trate it's feeblenesss by means of a
story.
"a drummer was waiting at Nola
Chucky for the Southern Cannon Ball
Limited. The train crawled in at last,
nine hours late-a ramshackle. clat-
tering thing, as ridiculous as an old
fashioned high-wheel bicycle.
THE drummer got aboard. There
seemed to be only one other passen-
ger. The locomotive hooted. the bell
changed, the wheels spun around and
steam Missed, but the train failed to
move Then there were more boots,
more puffs and Kisses and still the
train didn't bulge. Finally, after a
third vain effort, the engineer got
down and shouted to the passengers,
whose heads stuck anXiously out of
their respective windows:
"'Say' I'll have to ask you two
gents TO climb off till l get her start
edr'-Washington Star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-05-03
TERRIBLE COST OF WAR.
Expense Goes on Even in Time OF
peace.


Peace.
The fear of war Is consuming the
homes of the rural and village popula-
tions of Germany, France, Great Bri-
tain and the United States in a single
generation, according to a bulletin on
the school observance Of Peace day.
which Is soon to be issued for free dis
tribution by the United States bureau
of education:
In discussing the cost Of war, the
bulletin says in part: War debt be-
gan with the nineteenth century. Not
until the establishment of constitution
al government had nations any credit
in the world of finance. The bond of a
king was notoriously bad security.
Since 1900 the war debts Of the
nations have grown by leaps and
bounds. That of Europe as a whole
amounts to more than $4,000, 100000
bearing interest at the rate Of $1,150,-
OOO,OO0 per year. All these endless
caravans of ciphers' represent sums
which have never been paid, can never
be paid, so long as the present system
of national armament goes on. For
practically the entire amounts now
raised by taxation in civilized nations
go into the support of armies and ma
vies. The United States in splendid
isolation from old entanglements,
without an enemy in the world, and
bound by ties of blood and commerce
to all civilized nations, spends seven
ty-three per cent Of her income In
this way. The civil, or non military
expenditures of Europe are so small as
to be negligible.
AT the present rate of expenditure
the four countries of Germany, France
Great Britain and the United States
will spend in the next forty years, the
life Of one generation, for the support
of armies and navies an amount suf-
ficient to build 100000 country and
village houses at an average cost of
$4,000 each. With father, mother and
four children in each of these houses
they would furnish homes for 100000
900 people, which Is more than the to-
tai present population Of these four
countries living in. villages and the
open country. Thus the fear of war
is consuming the homes of the rural
and village population of these great
nations in a single generation.
1T is estimated that the total direct
cost of the armies and navies Of the
world each year in time of peace is
two and one-half billion dollars, which
equals the total valuation Of the wheat
and corn crops of the whole Of the
United States"
The bureau of education's bulletin.
which is entitled Peace day." con-
tains suggestions and material for the
observance in the public schools of the
occasion, which comes on MAJ IS. The
bulletin was compiled and in part
written by Mrs. Fannie Fern Andrews,
secretary of the American School
Peace League.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-05-03
Humorous department.
Wasted a Whole NiekeI-A tale of

Wasted a Whole Niekel.-A tale of
the Ozark country was told by Ray
Long, editor of the Red Book, at re-
cent dinner given at the La Sale by a
local publishing firm.
Il happened to be in Pineville, Mo-,
just on the Ozark line" Mr.. Long
said, "and was waiting for a stage In
one of the little stores. 'Pineville is a
county seat In few minutes a bust
ling little man came hurrying in.
"'Lookey here he exclaimed to the
storekeeper, 'ain't you got an empty
seegar box kin put my checks in?'
mo, amt the storekeeper answer
ed.
We'll, amt you a fine feller not t
have a seegar box? Lookey here, 1 see
a box in thet there case with three see
gars in 1t. Gimme tn box an I'll buy
tn seegars. What be they, two fer
nickel?'
mo, sir, they be straight five cent
seegars. Lend me your Barlow. want
to scratch off this here stamp. Think
I want the United States revynue Of
ficers gettin' me?'
For fifteen minutes he scratched
until every reminder of that stamp was
gone. Then he handed the box over to
the county treasurer, watched him
leave the store, and then lay back and
howled with laughter. I watched him
for a while until he subsided a bit.
Then l approached him.
why the laughter? 1 asked.
"Yaw-w-w-w-w, yaw-w-w-w-w-w,'
he burst out again, here was box
over here with only two seegars in It,
an he never seen it at ALL .'"-Chicago
Tribune.