The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-16
ON THE SPUR
OF TIE MOMENT
Blue Monday.
BY ROY K. MOULTON.

Blue Monday.
or course everything has gone crooked.
As crooked as things can well go.
VI course deepest gloom is your portion
ana storm clouds are gathering low.
GU re 1llIed with deep, dark disappoint-
ments,
In all OF the world there's no friend;
our troubles will surely o'erwhelm you,
1hey never will come to an end,
YOUR grocery bill is corker;
Ihey're going to foreclose on the. home
stead
Unless you put up with a yank;
Your automobile has grown ba1lxy,
The kitchen roofs sprung a great leak,
And there are nine thousand more trou-
OF which you would just love to speak.
When things seem as bad as they can be
Just lay all your cares on the shelf
There are some folks worse off than you
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Why Be Superstitious?
II ANYBODY comes along the road and
OFFERS you $13 or $4,000 or $13, 900 900, take
II. Don't be superstitious. For reason,
just ponder upon the following:
There were 13 colonies that licked King
George and gained their freedom
There are ID stripes on the grand old
flag.
E Pluribus Unum contains 10 letters.
The eagle on the national emplem holds
a thunderbolt which contains ID darts.
The eagle holds an olive branch with Is
leaves.
There are 13 feathers in each of the
eagles wings.
And in spite Of all that it's some repub-
Ie and it's setting bigger all the time
Our Platform.
We have organized a fourth party
known as the Remorse party and have
made the following nominations:
For President-Mr. U. Consumer.
For Vice President-Mr. c. People
Both of these are well and favorably
known and their attitude on important
questions of the day cannot be questioned.
They stand for all that Taft, Wilson and
Roosevelt stand for and a good deal
more. The platform adopted by our ma
tional convention, which has just been
held, is in part as follows:
We are in favor of votes for women or
anything for them that will keep them
contented and quiet.
of the beelsteak trust, the shoestring
trust, the wallpaper trust and the ice
cream cone trust. and all other sinister
interests which threaten the life of our
republic.
We favor life imprisonment for persons
who smoke cigarettes in telephone booths
mobile drivers.
We favor the adjustment of the United
States senate and the house Of represen-
tativeS, believing that we can buy our
garden seeds at the stores for much less
than it costs to keep these two branches
of the government going.
w are very HUGH III AdNOF OIL 1d1 &c
families and against race suicide. We
also favor simplified spelling, the fourth
dimension, the nebular hypothesis, divine
rights of kings, recall of all officials, in
ltiative, referendum. sanitary milk bottles,
paper drinking cups, strike-on-the-boxl
safety matches and the abolition of horse
less pianos.
We also favor the Punishment to ST. |
IBERIA for amateur vocalists who live in |
districts, the curtailment of |
brass band music, safe and sane Fourth, |
perpetual motion and pcrosknit union |
suits. We are also heartily in favor of |
Lillian Russell, Billie Burke, Bessie Nc |
Coy and Eva Tanguay-
We desire to express ourselves as I'M |
alterably opposed to the weather bureaus, |
polar OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES thunder and /
lightning, garlic salad, Welsh rarebits, |
Orickly underwear, hard boiled shirts and |
photographic music.
We also in favor OF anything else
hat will help elect our candidates. More
anon.