Sharp County record., 1912-05-03
Ills ! Natural
Self

If anybody had given party WIN
a prize for the most helpless husband
there was not a bit of doubt that
Dockity would have gone home with
the prize under his arm. This was IN
indisputable fact, for his wife said
so and she should have possessed ex-
pert knowledge on tie subject
'1f you should turn James Dookity
loose in the middle Of desert" she
often said, with an oasis in plain
sight, that helpless man would turn
and walk the other way and die OF
starvation. Here I am, wearing my
self to a shadow remembering to re-
mind him of what he ought to do or
cling him where he put his pink
striped shirt or getting him more
towels when those in the bathroom
have slipped down back Of the tub
You'd think that the man never heard
Of the back Of the bathtub the way
he forgets to reach behind it! He's
more trouble than a family Of ten
children! | declare, his helplessness
dooms me to become old before my
time"
He never knew where he lad put
his umbrella when there was a rain
storm that he had to 20 out in. He
was petriied with a dismal sort Of
horror il he had to hunt out his own
apparel It was on record that once
when they We're dining out and Mrs.
Dockity had gone on ahead to spend
the day he didn't come, When finally
they telephoned him he told his ex-
asperated wife with tears in his voice
that somehow he couldn't possibly get
a white tie on that looked right.
where are you getting your dress
ties from% Mrs. Dockity inquired
with an awful premonition,
"From the little drawer to the left
in the top Of the chiflonier" recited
Dockity, pathetically.
Those breathcd Mrs. Docklty
over the phone, are my white sum
mer belts! Look in the drawer be-
low!"
She often said with pathos that II
James would only reform she would
be the happiest weman on earth.
1t was nothing short Of tragic then
when Dockity had TO 30 west on bust
ness and his return was delayed three
months. Mrs. DocHity worried inces-
sanity over him. "If he wasn't SO
helpless" she said, 1T wouldn't be
so bad, but he'll lose everything he
has and win come home with his cuffs
tied on with stringsl Tie won't be
able to find q thing and nobody Will
look out for him and he'll leave a
pair Of pajamas hanging in the closet
Of every hotel room he's in! Pm
afraid he won't get enough to eat,
because he never knows what he
wants and always insists on my pick
ing out things on the bin Of fare"
When at last Dockity returned
home his wife looked him over fear
fully. His coat was on right side up
and his right shoe was not upon his
lert foot, He was wearing his own
hat, his linen was presenfable and
be was short only one pair Of paja'
mas
do you feel well, James?" Mrs.
Docblty asked, anXiously
"It / felt any better" declared her
husband, ara be sick abed from IT.
At breakfast Dockity put sugar and
cream on his berries as nonchalan,ly
az If he had always known how Ilo
picked up HIS umbrella from behind
the door and produced his gloves air.
n.y. When he had gone Mrs, Doclty
aat down and broathod hard. she
could not understand t.
That evening It was still worse,
Oocllty dressed without once asking
whore anything was, When his vito
said that she had como to put IN Tho
ahIrt studs DockIty looked aurprIaoG
and said they were already in 10
even got out hia silk hat and brushed
it, whIstlng oheerlly while Mrs.
Docldty stood around making futile
efforts TO help him,
She was palo and not herself all
evening and persisted IN trumpng hr
partners ace, When they started
home not only did her husband nnd
hia own wraps, but he got hers and
hc'pod her into them
fho did not speak all the way homo
When DocRiDy turned out the hail
lights instead Of waiting for her 10
do It sho fed upstairs to lido her
emotion
Just when Mra, Docklty had reached
the point where she decided that tho
queer feeling which possessed her
meant that she was going 10 die Dock
'0y camo with hoHHDIug stops into
Odr room,
'poUr' no murmurcd, ~ can't 0nl
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