davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-11-03

pro-hssor an other readn matther, has borne fruit an tonight to say that Taft's majority is handsome wud be like maxim tn same complimnt to Niagara falls How do I know? Because a careful study iv tn most accrate statistics will prove 1t to tn most ignorant. Fr example: A canvass iv Bill Barnes shows practically no oppo sition on his part to tn prisdint Complete re- turns firm Charles P Taft ar-re most encour agin'. A sthraw vote iv tn cabinet shows Taft four, Rosenfelt wan, an three fir throwin' tn iliction into tn house iv riprisintatives. l have compiled other reible statistics all pointin' in tn direction as tn hopefulness iv tn prisdint's immeejet family tn return iv Andrew Carnay- gie, tn fullness iv tn moon, shootin' star that fell last night, number iv fav'rable dhreams communicated to me be me aunt, an tn signi6- cant fact that nanny v tn posters we stuck up on tn fences ar-re still there. What more proof cud campaign manager want? An he gives three hearty cheers an goes downstairs an asks tn man at tn see-gar counther what he's heerd about tn campaign"
 Sure, they don't know amy more about it thin anybody else" said Mir Hcnnessy.
 "Iv coorse not" said Mir. Dooley, but wud ye have thin stop dispersin' tn univarsa gloom because iy that2 No sir, they're band iv hope an l injye thim What wud candydate do without thim? Think iv bein' a Prohybition candydate, with no campaign manager an naw- thin at all to cheer ye. l bet ye at this minyt, while I'm takin', tn campaign manager iv tn Prohybition party has got tn Prohybition candy date in back room an is telling him that tn
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-11-03

room On tn day afther iiction tn campaign sarvices but like careful good fairy slips away an niver is heerd iv again Whin tn candydate has examined tn figures carefully he borrows tn loan iv brick firm a frind an goes down to headquarthers to expriss in suitable terms his ap- preciation iv his Rainbow All that he finds is public statement firm Gleeful Gus sayin' that he is gratifed be tn magnificent showin made be tn organization. It was more thin he had amy raison to expict with candydate whose face was enough to turn sorghum mill into pickle fac tllry
 :" Ye feel down-hearted tonight, Hinnissy Ye don't know whether tn vinegar cruet iv yeer choice is goin' to win or not No more do l. I'm world about me own candydate. He's got enough sthraw votes to stuff all tn carpets in Indyanny but this close to iliction I'm not sure that there is sufficient ntiligence, honesty, and courage in this here wretched counthry to boost him into tn office. It's needless to say who l mean, so I won't But if ye're sad an want to be braced up with shot iv delirious hope, go down to headquarters. Yell know where they ar-re be tn bursts iv songs that comes through tn windows. Inside yell find a man standin on his head an warblin' tn most confident pre- dctions while he accompanies hnlsilf on man dolin that he plays with his feet That is tn campaign manager an in all tn glad New Year this is tn maddest merryest night fir him.
 At tn Pro-grissivc headquarthers me frind George w. Perkins will overcome an impedynind in his spe9h an tell ye that afther combin' over
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-11-03

Milwaukee brewers union is secretly f'r him be-
 v tn horror they feel fir tn suds they make.
 He's ordhered forum iv ice wather an plate iv cookies an is whisperin' to tn candydate: Alonzo v coorse I don't want to make amy foolish predictions, but if can judge be tn sthraw vote we took iv people comin' out iv tn alcoholic ward at tn hospital ysterdal, ye ought to romp in.' It's thryin on tn candydates appy tite tn mornin' afther iliction, but on'y wan iv tn candydates iver grabs f'r sicond llelpin' at that meal anny1ow. Tn best thing ye can do fir amy man is to fill him full iv hope an post pone tn disappointment as long as ye can. Con tinue to jab him till tn last minyit, but be sure ye're out iv his way whin he comes to.
 So here's long life to tn gee club iv cam paign managers They ought to have a good time durin tn campaign, f'r they niver have aftherward If they don't ilict their candydate he's to blame thi, an if they do ilict him he wondhers how nanny more votes he wudvc got if they hadn't been in his way. Nanny sue cissful campaign manager, flushed with triumph, has caught cold waitn' in tn front hall iv tn White House fir tn prisidnt to come out an say he's sorry but tn job was promised durin' tn campaign.
 Annyhow, it's on'y few days befure we'll know which wan iv these joyous souls made sh' worst guess But who cares? Ye'er little boys has tn right idee iv tn iliction. They were out stealin' bar'ls fir their bone-fire today They won't care who's ilicted prisidnt so long as they can dance aroun' tn fire. feel tn same way mesf. I'm not wan iv tn kind that looks on 1ction day as day v fast an abstinence. No. sir; 'tis holiday. An iliction fir prisidnt is wan v tn gr-reat festivals iv tn poor an it don't cost annythn. I'm gon' to give meslf over to injyin it. I'm going to get up in tn mornin', sthroll down to tn pollin' place, have few wurruds with tn polisnen, get ballot firm tn s clerk, stay in tn booth till tn judges wondher If I've swooned make wan assault on tn head iv a sartan colyum with tn stub iv lead pencil supplied be gin'rous govermnt, fold up tn blanket carefully, hand it to tn judge, an watch to see he don't slip it into his boot, an go out an argye an fight tn livelong day ontil tn re- turns come in. 1 will thin say to wan an all It's just as l said it wud be three months ago, if ye remimber,' and climb into tn tckin' An in tn mornin' I'll buy me new hat an begin life over agin. But I'm not gon to feel bad, no matther what happens If tn counthry is gon' to tn divvle I've got to go along, too. I can't stop it an I can't get off. I'm billed through with it an I've med up me mind to get what pleasure I can out iv tn worst that can happen
 Dye think tn result iv tn iliction will have amy effect on tn cost v livin'? asked Mir. Hen messy.
 Sure it will" said MT. Dooley, fir tn suc~ cissful candydate.'
 Copyright; 1912: By Finley Peter punns)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-11-03
lT~HERE'S nawthin' I'd like to be soanuch
 as campaign manager" said MT. Dooley.


 It's tn most jovyal emplyen1int in tn wurruld Nawthin' to do but laugh an lie an count tn money In ivry other pro-fssyon that l know about, aven me own, there ar-re times whn man will get low in his mind, but tn canl- pagn manager is always cheery. There ar-re niver no clouds in his sky, but tn burrds ar-re warbn in tn threes night an day an he sings at his wurruk fgurn' out firm sthraw vote iv three hundherd0 an eighty-fve visitors to Grants Tomb that the city iv Oskyloosa, Ioway, will give hundherd an forty thousan' majority fir his candydate.
 Nawthin' dsturbs him an annythin' short iv lick over tn head with brake-handle fills him full v hope. Ivrybody else in tn party gets dis outraged firm time to time. Aven tn candydate whin he sees hirnsilf in tn glass in tn mornin befure shavn must sometimes wondher if amy 7 body at all will be foolish enough to hurry through breakfast to vote fir tn likes iv him. He goes down to headquarthers with kind iv an idee in his head that he may get off tn ticket an give his place to more showy candydate As he enters tn dure he hears wild burst iv cheern firm tn back room an Sunshine, tn campaign manager, daslies out, grabs him be tn hand an llollers in his ear: It's all settled I've just had a letter firm tn Culture Club (Colored) iv Red Bank, Moo Jarsey, sayin' that they'll go over in body to yeSf yell pay their nal-rent fr month. This makes it unanimous
 Yes, sir, tn campaign manager is gr-reat distributor iv harmless hi-larity But fr him at this minyit ivry cadydate on tn ticket who's made ginooine study iv his own qualifications wud be at home with his jaw in his hands won dherin' how overwhelrnin' tn majority agin him will be or seekin' an escape firm tn fury iv tn popylace be jumpn into tn river Whn all seems lost an tn sky is darkest, whn his speeches ar-re accompanied be tn low murnur iv pleasant conversation an tn thramp iv feet marchn out in disgust, whin tn conductor that punches his ticket on tn tllrain looks as though he wud like 10 do tn same fir his face, tn blithe spirit at headquarthers will prove to him in five minyits that tn rsolutions passed be tn First Prisbyteer- yan Church iv Passaic callin' on volunteers to lynch him was merely ruse iv his friends to make tn Methodists enthusyastic, that his SUD- porters ar-re all pluggn tn sthraw votes so's to get their money down at fav'rbe odds, that tn iditoryals again him in tn pa-apers ar-re ra-ally acrostes an if ye look at thim right, read Hur- rah fir honest ol Ephraim Riggs, that tn opposi- toniv the money powers will bring him thousan's iv labor votes an tn opposition iv tn labor lead CTS makes tn Stock Exchange solid fir him, an ktlat tn final thing that was needed to cinch his victhry was tn publication iv tn report that he had embedded tn funds iv Foundings Home. Afther this treatment tn candydate goes home an begins to check his thrunks fr Wash'nton an consult with his wife about repaperin tn East
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-01-09


eis ana i9f 1ae iHl'l''i'7' '7ie'sRaa'''
'ne 'e'
''e 7'.gi i'i'us ''''s' e7'7 y '''-
country ae saiu' A's s'ea' Psi. .i'
lne tast interests afe welasp ''As'H
gi "lea 29"e'iui sttgus'n, .1s iaAAs
'i'tl@''a eAi'i' '"'l1a''on n 'Ni'oHa n
uo''als means iuln Y WV 'ouns's =
l''l's4 p epis'aion' No7 u'i'' '''s
nones' business interests ~ '''i7 = {
rear s'otii' ne serious pep''''e7
c'linol pe aFsf'eu'
"ha' Inc country uesus + q fssis-
ion q 'hs sati'i' 4 'ew s'anaa'" y
lalill spou'a "a p"Ssp III 'ne a''Ae'
e'iee Y cos n lnouuol'on Y W.
eoulu3 ai'a aplo"' 'ns 'a''ii ~"
y pAseu al''h 'ie oo9' y Pioops''on
piu7 tle enormous F'oi'la y '''4
''usr ne so9el''i''enl laNes ~
"ora q me haaula''"rgr
Is sAia @lln lae p'nsisS p1a y
looA VI ~ siHie "AS i'ne iesui's io'
lue lfuS's
fioln ia9t = l9VV, ~ Saia' W. II
IY.II. Fa4 Vi
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-01-09
SUBSCRIPTIONS RATES.

One year, delivered BY carrier $3.50
BIZ months. delivered by carrier 2a0
Three months. delivered BY carrier i.20
Ono month. delivered BY CARRIER 40
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-01-09

We have observed that 1t is impos-
sible to make sullea man good hum
ored
About the rarest thing in the world
IS man who can ten a story that has
no cuss words in it,
Wonder If some great mind has hit
upon tho Kicheson case as the founda-
tion for a great novel
A great many people try to appease
their conscience by giving large do-
nations 70 charity
Several young men OF the city are
taking a short course on now to re.
ceiye Leap Year proposals"
Because a Missouri woman "cussed"
while giving testimony IN a neigh
borhood squabble trial, the justice of
The peace dismissed the case. He said
when a woman forgot to he woman
lyH he refused to listen.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-01-09

plenty of "packagesr handed % us,
plenty of lios tod about lis. but We
have never thought Il worth while 10
pay much attention to them ana we
still think the same way.
There isn't any easy money much
less great riches. for anybody who en-
cages IN the newspaper business in a
town the size of Chickasha, but we
take # Chat We shall always have Az
least two papers here together vim
the keen competition that this implies
and such competition We welcome.
Knowing the trials that beset the pub
Usher and having our own battles to
fight We have no desire to place amy
obstacle in the way ol others.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-01-09
MODEM WOMAN.

You're much 600 vain, the pulpits say;
Too chilly, cheerful, chic Or chat.v
Your soul-wreeked husbands strew
Broadway
From ancient Yonkers to the Bat
terry.
You're fond of fiction, Of flattery
You do not seorn a naughty play.
Why should my heart get pls.-
pattery,
Whch ga he friendless cross my
Naas
The doctors eriiieise your dress.
From hat to heel. with stern sever
ity.
Your diet and venv stays. they guess
Are both imperilling posterity;
But /, aspiring TO asperily.
Seeking 10 break you. only bless.
How can you have the wild temerl-
~
10 be SO rich IN loveliness2
iiow did this blindness come to be?
Where is my sense OF true mortali-
W
Whom, every day, hear and see
New Diatrihas gainsl your rascaIi
ty
It's grim The verbal liberality
With which the experts all agree
That Modern Woman" spells Fa.
tality.
Why doesn't She seem bad to me?
Oh, wicked ones, 50 worldly-wise,
Cultured and gentle and imperious
From your emaneipated eyes
Comes the same age-old and mys
terious
Thrill thar cid lovers. staid and ser
ious,
Got from prim james and Margerys.
/ Oh YOU are dear, IL deleterious
THO ] alone aposrophze.
The New York American
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-01-09
rHH PUBLISHING BUSINESS.

Even in normal times. the publish
ing Of q newspaper. especially a daily
IN small city is a preearlous business
requiring FOR It's success an the ener-
gies Of those who engage 10 it. togeth.
er with an The knowledge gained by
years 81 experience, ana under such
conditions as We have had during the
past year. it has been hard pun for
everybody in the business Some of
The best newspapers III oklahoma have
seen the lights flicker out during rec.
ent months.
Along with the rest the publishers
81 the Express have bad their dlfft
culdps but they expect u continue ID
fight them tilI tHe brighter Gays
dawn and they have faith thai thc
presen business clouds win roll away
IN eight years experience in Chlcka
sha we have seen many times when
we didn't know where TIE next weeks
payroll was coming FROM how the
nrnt paper bills were going to ha
paid or how our landlord was To be
appeased, but We kept Oh some way
and eventually these difficulties were
met We have alWaya considered it
the bee, policy to 90 ahead attending
TO our own business. endeaYorlng 70
give our patrons fnll value .rs ail they
pay us and 10 merit ali tnat comes
our wr ana ve expect " contlnue "
follow ihe same course We hnfe had
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-01-09
SENATOR LA TOILETTE STRIKES
BODY BLOW

Senator Ia Toilette. the progressive
republican candidate Tor president
has been campaigning in Ohio and
Michigan in The interest Of progress
iTs principles He Is making trouble
for the standpatters.
THE following IS taken from thc
Associated Press report Of one 81 his
speeches
seaaior z ~. la Toilette addressed
"a large andenthusiastc audience in
tie arrary here last MONDAY ia de
fiaed the progressive movement aa
aiaAalne f0r a representative govern
ment direct nomination of aH ofiic-
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-01-09
Mothers
Friend

ant mothers which contains much
valuable information and many sng-
gestions of a helpful nature.
BRADfIELD REGULATOR co., ktanta, Ca
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-01-09

Z II Q Y y q u u 5 OF
cases. Mother s
Friend is sold at
drug stores.
Write for free
book for expcct-
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-01-09
The Guarantee Doctors
Permanent Address.
OKLAHOMA CITY 121lsW- Grand.


This is an age of great discoveries.
Progress rides on the air soon we
may see Uncle Sans mail carriers
flying in all directions. transporting
mail People take a wonderful in
terest in a discovery that benefits
them. Thots why pr Kings New
Discovery for Coughs. Colds and 9th
er hroat and lung diseases rs the
most popular medicine in America.
1T cured me OF a dreadful cough,
writes Airs j. r. Davis, sioekney
Corner. Nc. "after doctors treat
meat and all other remeries had
tailed" For coughs. colds or any
bronchial affection is uneqaaled.
price s0c and sfo0- Trial hottie frse
If Brown * co.
ARw
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-01-09

It does no5 follow that because
young man starts to high school these
mornings that he goes skating's
good
When 4 young man begins to re-
ceive letters from girls, his mother
begins to feel that the apron string Is
being slowly united
A iloosier postmaster is trying 70
locate tine sweetest girl in tho
world a package has been receiy.
ed III his office bearing that address
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-01-09
The Guarantee Doctors
The Regular and Reliable Speci-
alist Who VIII Open a Branch
0f'ic in Chickasha, at Pres
ent One Day Each Month
at Hotel Early.

Cures permanently Inc cases they
undertake and send the incurable
home without taking a fee from them.
Eminenty successful specialist ia
all chronic diseases. proven BY the
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-01-09

many cures effected IN chronic cases,
which had baffled the skill Of all 9th.
er ordinary physicians will be at the
EARLY Hotel, chiekasha
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 10TH.
tone day only) and viii return once
every Is days.
Their hospital experience and ex-
tensiye practice has made them so
proficient that they can name and To-
cate a disease in a few moments.
Treats an cnrable cases Of catarrh.
Nose, Throat and lhng Diseases,
Eye ana Ear, stomach. Liver and Sid.
neys Gravel. Rheumatism. Paralysis.
Neuralgia, Nervous and Heart Diseas-
es. Blood and Skin Diseases. Brighfs
Disease and Consumption in early
stages. Diseases Of Bladder and Fee
male organs
A never failing remedy Tor Big
Neek.
Every case Of PILES. FIsTULA
and RUPTURE guaranteed cured
without detention from Msiness
SEXUAL WEAKNESS AND PRl-
vATE DISEASES A SPECIALITY.
Syphilis. Gonorrhoe. Structure.
elect, Snermatoreae, Seminal Weak
ness. Lost Manhood and the effects
Of Early Vice, producing Emissions.
Debility, Nervousness. Dizziness. De-
feciive Memory, etc. which rnins
mind and body positively cured
WONDERFUL CURES
Perfected in old cases. which have
been neglected or unskillfully treat.
ed. No experiment or failures. We
undertake no incurable cases but
cure thousands given np 70 die
Consultation Free { Confidential
The Guarantee noctOvC
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-01-09

Any standing
firm corporation maomeu which
OF the Express will gladly
the attention Of management
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1912-05-02

word, hoping thus to impress her
nephew. But he was so busy keeping
one eye on her and one on the little
boy on the other porch, that he did not
have time to use his ears at all and so
did not hear one word.
Leaving his camp fires burning to
deceive the enemy, he stole around by
a circuitous route, fell upon the Brit
1sh and captured"
Billy held up his hands to catch a
ball which Jimmy made believe to
throw.
Miss Minerva still read on, uncon-
scious Of her nephew's inattention:
THE suffering at Valley Forge had
been intense during the winter"
Billy made pretense behind his
aunt's upright back Of throwing ball
while the other child held up two fat
little hands to receive it. Again he
laughed aloud as Jimmy spat on his
hands and ground the imaginary ball
into his hip.
She looked at him sternly over her
glasses:
What makes you so silIy?" she in
quired, and without waiting for reply
went on with her reading; she was
nearing the close now and she read
carefully and deliberately.
And he was chosen the first presi-
dent of the United States"
Billy put his hands to his ears and
wriggled his fingers at Jimmy, who
promptly returned the compliment.
He had no children of his own, so
he Is called the Father of his Coun-
try"
Miss Minerva closed the book,
turned to the little boy at her side,
and asked:
who was this great and good man,
William"
Jesus" was his ready answer, in an
appropriately solemn little voice.
"Why, William Green Hill" she ex-
claimed in disgust. What are you
thinking of? don't believe you heard
one word that read"
Billy was puzzled; he was sure she
had said Born in manger." Il didn't
hear her say nothin' bout bulrushes," I"
he thought, so t amt Moses; she
didn't say log cabin SO t amt Aba
ham Lincoln; she didn't say Thirty
cents look down upon you,' so t amt
Napolyon. sho' wish I'd paid ten
ton"
"Jesus!" his aunt was saying, born
in Virginia and first president of the
United States!"
George Washin'ton, aimed to
say" triumphantly screamed the little
boy, who had received his cue.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1912-05-02

AN | amt a-goin' to be sponsible
neither" and he poked out a swollen
jaw for Jimmy to touch
Ikey Rosenstein at this moment was
spied by the two little boys as he was
walking iauntily by the gate.
"You better keep way rom here,
Goose-Grease," Jimmy yelled at him;
you better get on the other side the
street. Billy here s got the mumps
an he lemme tech 'em SOS | can get
'em, SOS my papa and mama IL lemme
do just perzactly like I want to; but
you're a Jew and Jews amt got no
business to have the mumps, so you
better get way. l paid Billy bout a
million dollars worth to lemme tech
his mumps," he said proudly. Get
way; you can't have EN-"
Ikey had promptly stopped at the
gate.
''Whatll you take, Billy, to lemme
get 'em?" he asked, his commercial
spirit at once aroused.
"What'll you glmme?" asked he of
the salable commodity, with an eye to
bargain.
Ikey pulled out piece of twine and
blue glass bead from his pocket and
offered them to the child with the
mumps. These received a contemptu.
GUS rejection.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1912-05-02

yuh? What dat y all got now?" AS
she drew nearer a smile Of recognition
and appreciation overspread her big
good-natured face. Then she burst
into a loud, derisive laugh. What y
all gwine to do wild Miss Minerals old
bustle?" she inquired. "Y' all sho' am
de contaritest chillens in dis here cop
peration."
"Bustle?" echoed Billy. What g a
bustle?"
"Dat-ar g bustle-dat 8 what g
hustle. Ladies useto wear 'em cause
dey so stylish to make they dresses
stick out in the back. Come on home,
Jimmy, fore yuh ketch de yaller jandis
er de epizootics; yo' ma top yuh to
stay right at home"
well, m coming, amt II" scowled
the little boy. Mama need mt to
know nothing 'thout you tell"
Would you take yo' mama's pres
ent now, jimmy" asked Billy; you
amt earnt II"
Would MT your" asked Jimmy,
doubtfully.
Nav. would mt, 'thout toll her.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1912-05-02

you can do perzactly like you
please when you got the mumps," in
sinuated Jimmy, who had seemingly
allied himself with Billy as a partner
in business; grown folks bound to do
what little boys want 'em to when you
got the mumps."
key Increased his bid by the stub
Of lead pencil, but It was not until he
had parted with his most cherished
pocket possessions that he was at last
allowed to place gentle finger on the
protuberant cheek.
Two little girls with their baby-bug-
gies were seen approaching.
&C way from here, Frances, you and
Lima" howled Jimmy. Don't you come
in here; me and Billy s got the mumps
and you-all r. little girls and ought
n to have 'em. Don't you come near
us; they re ketching."
The two little girls Immediately
opened the gate, crossed the yard, and
stood in front of Billy. They inspected
him with admiration; he bore their
critical survey with affected unconcern
and Indifference, as befitted one who
had attained such prominence.
Don't tech EN-" he commanded,
waving them off as he leaned grace
fully against the fence.
Il teched EN- boasted the younger
boy. "Whatll you all give US If we
IL let you put your finger on 'em?"
II amt a-goin' to charge little girls
nothin'" said the gallant Billy, as he
proffered his swollen jowl to each in
turn.
A little darkey riding big black