The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1912-06-29

I'm a broken-hearted man, Mr.
Mr. didn't get your name"
"Er-ah-I dare say"
Thanks, | Will sit down" He lift
ed great carry-all and airily tossed
it into the aisle set the Gladstone
on the lap of the infuriated English
man, and squeezed into the seat op.
posite, making sad mix-up OF knees.
MY names Wellington. Ever hear
of iii Jimmie Wellington? That's
me-
ANY relation to the Duke?"
'Nagh!"
He no longer interested Mr.. Wedge
wood. But Mr.. Wellington was not
aware that he was being snubbed. He
went right on getting acquainted:
Are you married, Mr.-Mr.-y"
MOI"
MY heartfelt congratulations.
Hang on to your luck, my boy. Don't
let any female take 1t away from YOU"
He slapped the Englishman on the
elbow amiably, and his prisoner was
too stifled with wrath to emit more
than one feeble "Pawtah!"
Mr.. Wellington mused on aloud:
"Oh, If l had only remained single.
But she was SO beautiful and she
swore to love. honor and obey. Mrs.
Wellington is a queen among women,
mind you, and l have nothing to say
against her except that she has the
temper of a tarantula." He italicized
the word with light fillip of his left
hand along the back of the seat He
did not notice that he filliped the
angry head Of Mr.. Iva Lathrop in the
next seat. He went on with his por-
trait of his wife. "She has the
Extravaganza Of a sultana"-another
fllip for Mr.. Lathrop-"the zhealousy
Of a cobra. the flirtatiousness Of q
humming bird" Mr.. Lathrop was glar-
ing round like a man-eating tiger, but
Wellington talked on. She drinks,
swears and smokes cigars, otherwise
she's flne-a queen among women"
Neither this amazing vision Of wom-
ankind, nor this beautiful example Of
longing for confession and sympathy
awakened q response in the English
mans frozen bosom. His only action
was another violent effort to disengage
his cramped knees from the knees of
his tormentor; his only comment q
vain and weakening. cry for help.
"Pawtah! Pawtah!"
Wellington's bleary, teary eyes we're
lighted with triumph. Finally I saw
couldn't stand it any longer 30
bought tic-hic-et to Reno. stab
lish residensh in six monfths-get a
divorce-no shcandal. Even m'own
wife won't know anything about It,"
The Englishman was almost attract
ed by this astounding picture of the
divorce laws In America. II sounded
sa barbarically quaint that he leaned
forward to hear more. but Mr. yelling
toms hand. like a mischievous rum
away, had wandered back into the
shaggy locks atop Of Mr.. Lathrop. His
right hand did not let his left know
what 1t was doing, but proceeded quite,
independently to grip as much Of
LathrOp's hair as 1t would hold.
Then as Mr.. Wellington shook with
JOY at the prospect Of Dear old
Reno!" he began unconsciously to
draw Ira Lathrop's head after his hair
across the seat. The pain Of It shot.
the tears into Lathrop's eyes, and as
he writhed and twisted he was too
,ull OF profanity to get any one word
out.
When he managed to wrench his
skull free, he was ready to murder his
tormentor. But as soon as he con-
fronted the doddering and blinking
topper, he was helpless. Drunken men
have always been treated with great
tenderness in America, and when We'll
lington, seeing Lathroy's white hair.
exclaimed with rapture: why, hello.
Pop! here's Pop" the most that Lath-
rop could do was to tear loose those
fat, cropping hands. slap them like q
school teacher, and push the man
away.
But that one shove upset Mr.. Well
lington and sent him topping down
upon the pit Of the Englishman's ston-
ach.
For Wedgewood, 1t was suddenly as
IL all the air had been removed from
the world. He gulped like a fish
drowning for lack Of water. He was q
long while getting breath enough for
words, but his first words were wild
demands that Mr.. Wellington remove
himself forthwith.
Wellington accepted the banishment
with the sorrowful eyes Of a dying
deer, and tottered away wagging his
fat head and wailing:
I'm a broken-heartsd man. and no
body gives "a" At this point he ca
romed over into Ira Lathrop's berth
and was welcomed with savage roar:
What the DEVILS the matter with
you?"
I'm a broken-hearted man, that's