The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-13

try from Maine to kally-forny,' and To- day, me fellow citizens, we've (applause) brthright of our liberties (cheers) Old Ship of State (yels). Here we Rest
 tVociferous appause). And the modest shy Patriot would step down from the stand, perspiring like q pitcher of ice- water, while the heart of every delegate present throbbed with pride and scorn of office-seelSng, strong enough to kick out his front teeth. Huh? Did Governor O'Neal speak? Son, he didl A delegation of Patriots tied him with two-inch grass rope to prevent him from doing it, but he gnawed the rope. The noise that convention made sounded exactly like the fuss my old Regiment used to make just before the rations was issued The coy, shrinking, bashfulness of them delegates about taking an office was painful to con template-every one of them had patriot ic motives as pure as the best Baking Powder-they had simply come there to inform the Nation that Wilson and Mar shall would sweep the country Gmmense applause) The next morning I woke up in an upholstered boudoir that the Man agement have had lathed and pastered ana fitted up as a kind of Inebriates Home. where surrounded with many fa- miliar faces of delegates who scorned office, we could reflect, on what a dent in History we had made the night before. in apprising the entire Hemisphere that Wilson and Marshall would sweep the ccuntry.'"
 This Women suffrage movement spoke the Country School teacher lis giving me more mental trouble than all the politics you could stack in a ten acre field. Them James over there in England have impregnated our fair sex in this land with a smidging of their fool notions, and some of our lovely females are milling around like a kitten stung by bumble-bee on this subject Why, fellows, it won't do at all. If the good lockers take up the subject it might win. Heretofore I haven't been alarmed when looked at the pictures of them Suffra- gists; from a close scrutiny of their faces 1t didn't seem likely that the doctrine was liable to spread, much. for the gen. eral effect of a photograph of 'em was that of a mud fence daubed with tad poles. But now that few Beauts in Alabama have come out in print endors- ing the movement. it is time for us down. trodden men to get together and stamp out the danger ere it is everlastingly too late We have got to argue them out of it. We have got to point out to them that paying Poll tax. joining the Lodge, and serving on a jury with Il fellows who have been drinking corn whisky and smoking rancid pipes is not a privilege. out blame hard work. The woman who begins to taInper with this insidious bev- craze of female voting needs to be told taht indulgence in this maddening thirst will affect her beauty, just as the Fruit tree business. whiskey Drumming the prize-fightlng Oratorial Contest and other forms of manual labor leaves it's indelible impress upon the human face. If this thing keeps up the ardent wooings of us men, whispered among vine-embowered Torches, will be addressed to q startling female with a complexion like q tan-bark walk. and voice resembling the sad wall of a blaming Min. Tell her that so complicated is our ballot system that it requires College Education to be able to vote a ticket without re-nigging. The average woman would be just as apt to vote {. recipe for removing pimples as the regular Democratic ticket. Picture to the sweet creature her agony when she gets caught on a Jury that is trying nigger dog-swapring case, and tine Jury cannot agree and old Farmer Squasher from Beat seventeen ta<es off his shoes in the room, and Bill Wicker and Pee Neeley. the two Jurymen from Toadvine. use in- famed language to each other as to whether the Queen. takes the Jack. and the Dutch Jnryman eats Li,nburger Cheese until the atmosphore of the Jury room gets SO strong that Sou could hang