The herald., 1912-11-21
A DRY GOODS
COURTSHIP
BY M. QUAD
Copyright. 1912. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

Il know it's three or four or nNe or
along there somewhere. Pears to me
you spend most of your time getting
married and burying husbands"
"Silas," she says in tones of conf
dence, I've made mistakes in my three
marriages, and | don't want to make
one in my fourth. | don't admit that
there'll be fourth, but If | should
happen to decide to marry ag'in don't
want to be taken in. How is wilder
woman to judge MANI
well. now. if was thinking of mar
rying ag'in. which hain't, as I've got
an old woman and five young uns, I'd
first hunt around for soft pine shingle.
Then I'd sharpen up my jackknife and
sit down by my lonesome in some place
where no burned dog or calf was likely
to come roofing around. and then I'd
white and think and think and whit
tie. Mebbe Id white and think for a
whole week. but when | got through
I'd know that was correct"
But | can't whittle."
mo. but you can knit, and that's just
as good. Who is the Teller who is
sparkling you this time?"
Its a man named Lemuel Johnston.
and he's about fifty years old"
And what have you made up your
mind about him.
II haven't made it up at all. That's
what I'm asking your advice for"
81 see. Well. Ill do the best | can.
If I was a wilder woman and a man
come along and appeared to have de-
signs agin me Id get out my knitting
and watch him as he talked, and I'd
remember certain things-to wit.
namely:
"a man who sits cross legged most
of the time is purity certain to be lazy.
"a man who stands around with his
hands in his pockets will kick like a
steer II dinner isn't ready on the mint.
THE man who comes counting and
rings in poetry is going to raise a row
after marriage IL his wife don't like fat
pork.
1.-THE man who Is narrow between
the eyes and carries a sharp nose has
a widder's possessions figured to a
cent.
"The man who signs and shakes his
head In a mournful way and wishes he
could do more for the heather in AZ
RIGA is going to keep nightly close tab
on your pin money after marriage.
"A freckled face man is generally a
contented man. but whether contented
with his lot or to let his wife build
the fire in the morning is thing you
have got to find out later on.
There are men who come counting
who are soft spoken and move about
like a cat. After marriage they will
yell at the oxen so as to be heard a
mile away.
1.-The boisterous man Is apt to be
hearty and good natured. but he will
wake the baby up every time he comes
into the house and let all the family
quarrels be known all over the neigh
borhood.
"a man who sits and rubs his hands
and smiles and uses precise language is
thinking how much tea and coffee he
will allow you to measure out for a
drawing after marriage.
"A scowl between a mans eyes
means concentration Of thought, but
the trouble is that you don't know
what he has concentrated on. 1t may
be love. and II may be speculation.
"a wilder woman In sizing up a
Teller who has come sparkling should
take a good look at his mouth. If II
is unusually wide his talk will never
go much beyond cabbages, but II it's a
woman's mouth he'll be a good hand
at saying cutting things. If 1t droops
at the corners he considers himself q
sort Of a martyr and Ill used by the
world, and whenever the bread is
heavy or the potatoes not quite done
he's going to break out.
Then there's one more sort of man.
He's the chap that boldly knocks on
the door and stalks in when it's open.
ed and says:
"'Are you the Wilder WarnerP
"T am says you.
"'Had three husbands, I under.
standY
"T have
"Well. it's time you took the fourth
and I'm here to fill the bill. I am
what am and am worth about 5000
all told. I've got to drive along to the
blacksmith's shop to get my wheel
fixed, and I'll stop for your answer
when come back"
"And does, he stop?" asked Aunt
Sally.
"He does"
"And does the wilder consent?"
AFTER knitting and thinking for an
hour or so.'
"And-and 1t is happy marriageT
'"The chances are even up. and you
haven't fooled away any time over the
matter"
Aunt Sally turned to a piece Of cali
co and wet 1t with her mouth to see
II 1t was a fast color and then backed
up to the counter to giggle and say:
Thanks, Uncle Sile I reckon TT
60 home and wait for that Teller t.
come alongv'