davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1912-06-07
WHO IS The
'"' y Wise GUY?
An Unknown Dopesant"
Political Situation
In State and National Affairs
But Keeps Identity Con.
cealed.

Uexington Leader)
An envelope addressed Col. s. J.
Roberts, Editor LEADER, Lexington
Ky.." and postmarled Cincinnati
Paris and Lexington Train No. A.
r. P. O., May. 20. 1912" brought &c
the LEADER office on Friday some
valuable and interesting polhica
dope" from a writer who concealed
ms identity by working the alphabet
overtime on his surname. although
exercising commendable economy In
.Lbbreviatng his Christian name. II
this veracious chronicler of passing
events will make himself known he
may secure profitable employment as
campaign humorist, as the coming
contest promises TO be tragic enough
TO need little livening up. Here is
what the unknown says of Kentucky
and National politics:
Louisville. KY, May 30, 1872.
Mr.. s. J. Roberts,
Editor of Leader.
Lexington, Ky.
Dear Sir:-Whiie waiting for my
train to return home after the great
Democratic convention of 1912. held
I nthis beautiful city, l thought best
to give you a few of the details, think
ing they might be of interest in gen.
eral.
lett my home in Newport on yes
terday. just after having heard what
Roosevelt had done to your friend
raft in New Jersey. and thought of
you at once, as knew you We're a fol-
lower of Mr.. Taft, but for what reason
\ could not explain, as it seems the
whole country, Democrats and all. are
hollering Teddy.
Now as to our convention here. We
had corker, almost equal to the
Music Hall convention of 1899.
Ny dear friend, Governor McCreary
won out, defeating that great big Ollie
James, but when a man reminds him
self what else could he expect. Also
saw Watterson. Cantril, Klair and
Kimball take the same dose.
Now, If you will wait few days
more you will see some of the Repub-
lkan Officeholders get some of the
medicine that is similar, and l expect
they are like some of our people-they
need 1t. When i first saw where
Combs, Walker. Bergman. Throck-
morton and number of other Ken
tuckians had come out for Colonel
but 1t now looks as if they knew
what they were doing and the other
fellows are the crazy ones How is
Dick Sto,l, Col Field and Mr.. Smith
feeling now?
Although a Democrat. some Of my
best friends are Republicans. such
clever fellows as yourself. Morris GAL
win. collector of the sixth; Dick
Ernest. Ludlow Petty, collector Of the
Fifth. and my old friend. Captain
ThrockmortOn and Senator Bradley.
BY the way. how did 1t happen they
are not together? That is the first
time l ever knew them TO be apart
but at that l believe the Captain has
Z he best of il this time
well whenever you come 40 New
uOrt always know the latch string is
out and ready for you. If Teddy |
acts in l expect TO see a great many |
changes in Old Kentucky. AS my |
train is about to Leave l will have to
chse, with regards 10 all of my |
friends. Republicans and Democrats |
and i will add. if you so desire, you |
can put this letter in your issue if you |
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06
A MUCH BALTeD RAILROAD MONOPOLY.

-HE war against the New England transportation mo-
nopoly, begun by private citizens in New England has
Il expanded into Il general war upon the monopoly, IN which
the New England States. the federal grand jury, the Interstate
commerce Commission and, lastly. the New Jersey Chancery
Court are now actively enlisted. In the suit in equity filed IN
the court Yesterday one of the audacious acts of the New York,
New Haven and Hartford holding company" is sought to be
annuled. that of the strangling of an independent steamship
line between New York and Boston that competed with the Mel
len monopoly. How that transaction was effected is described
in the bill of chancerv. It was a case of financial thimblerlg-
cling and the plain object was to complete a control OF trans
portation to hold New England at the mercy of the monopoly,
which it did. But the conspiracy went too far. 1t provoked
Il rebellion in the most conservative section of the country, in
sited radical reprisal and brought down upon the monopoly
disciplinary powers that promise to end it and threaten dis
aster to the men who unscrupulously engineered it. The Chan
Gerry suit may hang fire for a long time. The criminal law and
The State Legislature can be summary in their dealings. There
will be hot grddles for President Melen and his directors when
the State legislatures convene in January and after the federal
grand jury and the Interstate Commerce Commission come into
allow
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06

1t was on the text of the banner of
the Trenton mechanics. He spoke
Of the vast cost and the long time
spent in building the pyramids, Of
their uselessness, of the ignorance.
wickedness and inhumanity of the
rulers Of the Egypt of that day; OF
the misery and poverty of the slaves
who built the structures, and whose
wage was only the cost of feeding
and keeping them-two cents a day.
Since that time, said the orator, the
wages of men in the building trades
have been so greatly increased that
the smallest paid hands who built
this bridge that connects New York
with Brooklyn received as a daily
wage 267 times the daily cost of feed
ing and keeping a slave in ancient
Egypt.
Following out that line of thought
the orator portrayed the steady up-
climb in the march of labor in dig
nifty and honor, closing with a mag
nificent tribute to the illustrious Jer-
sey civil engineer who fathered the
bridge project and made the design,
and who lost his life in an accident.
WHllt SJuuylnS a plOOAClH at Tie DdSo
at the bridge, and to that engineers
son, a veteran of the army of the
Potomac, who took up his fathers
work on the bridge SO zealously that
he lost his health, and was for
months confined to his bed; then his
wife took up a large part of her hus-
bands work. Nothing in the litera-
ture of orations is finer than the al
fusion of the orator of that notable
day hat opened the New York.
Brooklyn bridge to the work of Mrs.
Roebling on that structure.
The orator, Abram S. Hewitt, OF
Trenton and Ringwood, never arose
to higher flights in addresses related
to the mechanic arts. Truly, he and
his father-in-law. grand old Peter
Cooper, were in the forefront of the
manufacturers Of New jersey who
pioneered the way for "the greatest
good Of the greatest number of the
-wage-earners in our State.
G. WILFRED PEARCE,
Civil Engineer.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06
Orpheus Club
Gives Spirited
Music Program
Arthur Mees Directed the Large
Chorus-Miss Hinkle, So
prano, and Irwin F. Randolph,
Accompanist, Excelled.

A large audience appeared at Wal
lace Hall last night for the Orpheus
Clubs first concert of the
Directed by Arthur Mees, the clubs
large chorus gave spirited rendering
to a half dozen inspiring ensemble
numbers. Not the least factor in the
success of the affair was the solo
work of Miss Florence Hinkle, So
prano. The accompanist was Irwin
F. Randolph.
The program opened with a chorus,
BLACK Clouds Away" by Chadwick.
The second part of the first number
Koschat. Both of these were sung
with fine effect, and gave the pro-
gram a most suspicious start.
Then Miss Hinkle sang an aria,
"Depuis lie Jour-" from the opera
Louise" by Ch%arpentier. The good
impression which the singer made
with this number lasted through the
evening.
Probably the best received number
of the evening was Edward A. Mac
Dowells dance of the Gnomes," by
Tie cup. IHlS was SUNG III the Sec
ond part of the program, and was
greeted most enthusiastically. A long
demonstration was given the club also
after the singing of "Shan Van
Voght," by Horatio Parker.
The quality of Miss Hinkle's voice
and her admirable singing style were
shown to good effect in her interpre-
tation of LISTS 30 Komm i'm
Traum."'This was followed by Masse-
nets "Chant P~rovencal' and Bache-
let's "Chere Mutt" The rest of Miss
1Iinkle's part in the program was:
Come Unto These Yellow Sands
Purcell; Morse Maiden's Lament
H~ockscher, and Love Is the Wind,
MacFayden.
The club also sang "Scharwenka's
Happy Light, Happy Day." Mac.
Dowell's Grade Song and Parker's
"Kittie Magee."
The program was brought to a close
with the "Invictus."
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06
FRIDAY EVENING. DECEMBER 6. 1912.
ANOTHER CANAL IN SOUTH JERSEY.

n OUTH Jersey representatives will ask the Legislature l"
authorize the building of an intracoastal canal across Cape
~ May county to connect Delaware bay WIN te miahu
waterway now building, in order to give access from the pay
to the canal to small freight boats from Philadelphia. Inc
southern terminus of the inland waterway is Cold Spring Har-
Dor at Cape May and the proposed lateral canal would shorten
the distance and lessen the danger of navigation for small craft.
The estimated cost is 100000, which may be interpreted to
mean 100000. The estimated cost of the inland waterway has
ALREADY been nearly doubled and the work is not finished. AS
with all such enterprises in South Jersey the state IS looked IL
to paw the bill. In North Jersey, at their own expense, muncf
ralites are building a thirteen.million-donar trunk sewer TO
redeem a river from pollution. But it is encouraging to see
that South Jerseymen have begun to learn the economic value OF
canal navigation. The inland waterway evidently is an eye
opener. AS the voters of South Jersey in legislatures in the
mast favored the sacrifice of the Norris canal In North Jersey,
perhaps change of ideas will have its effect at Trenton this
winter.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06
TUBE TAXES AND FARES.

THERE is no authority in New Jersey to give to any class
of property special privileges in the matter of assess
ment for taxes. Property may be exempt from tax by
statute, but the constitution provides for equal taxation of the
assessed property. That means equal assessment as near as
the assessor can make it. The State boards assessment of the
property of the McAdoo Tunnel Company in Hudson county,
having been duly ascertaned and declared, cannot be reduced
IS a favor to the company. Corporate enterprise in this State
mas no warrant for estimating tax exemption as one of its
assets. When private citizens build houses or factories they take
the full tax assessment into account. Mr.. McAdoO has threat
ened TO advance the tunnel fares to six cents in retaliation. He
will have to reckon with the Interstate Commerce Commission,
Dat meanwhile the State board has done its duty, and its figures
khOuld stand
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06
POOR FARMING IN NEW JERSEY.

z OVER cost of production instead of higher prices should
be the aim of the New Jersey farmer, was the sage
M remark by Professor Blair, of the State Experiment Sta
ton. to potato growers at Il farmers institute at Elmer Tuesday
evening. The professor showed that by proper methods the
WELD per acre can be nearly doubled. The Agricultural Expert
nlent Station was established years ago for the benefit of the
farmer, but it has had a discouragng work, as the farmers per
sisted in knowing more than the experts and turned a deaf
ear TO instructions. For years agriculture went on in the same
oldfashioned way and by the same slipshod methods. The plan
of sending trains through the farming sections to meet and
instruct the farmers at way stations was adopted, and with
good results. But compared with the agricultural methods in
Germany there is a woeful lack of real farming knowledge in
New Jersey and a most discouraging amount of blind obstinacy
In doing things the wrong and wasteful way.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06
WATER TERMINALS A COMMON BENEFIT.

ia IVER and harbor improvements now under way call for
ER $%270000000 to complete them. This vast sum will be
worse than wasted, so far as public benefit is concerned,
If the federal government allows railroad and allied shipping
interests to monopolize the water terminals. Delegates to the
National Rivers and Harbors Congress in Washington are
doing we'll to dwell upon the doctrine that we are not spending
hundreds Of millions of dollars on waterways for the selfish
benefit of railroads. These speakers find an apt text in the
experience of such harbors as that of Philadelphia, and the
story of Jersey Citys waterfront, years ago handed over,
almost unbroken, to the railroads, will bear repeating just now.
AS President Ransdell, of the congress, puts it, "Harbors, when
improved, shonld be open to all corners, and all should have
access on equal terms to every railroad touching the harbor.'
There is good reason for looking closely to Newarks water
front O the baV.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06
INCREASING TOKENS OF CHRISTMAS.

ATEWARK's shop windows are gay with Christmas things,
N and a stroll in the shopping centre is calculated to in
fuse the coolest nature with something of the warm
Christmas spirit. There are all the evidences, too, that people
are shopping early, a fact gratifying alike to the storekeepers
and their help and the people who will be compelled to delay
their Christmas buying until Christmas week. The increasing
tide of travel from n%eighboring towns to the caravansaries of
trade in Newark also testifes to the fact that ~out-oftown
people, too, are shopping early, which will serve to relieve the
congestion Of trolley travel in the week of Christmas.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06

mer Jones says there is n swell lot
of trimmeis in them millinery stores
down to the city and he knows, for
no is IN ericure.
BY ginger, If Old Diogenes should
come around here looking for an
honest ma somebody woul1 steal his
lantern te1ore he got as for as Alb
Renfrew's sawmill. Pull Hicks IS
back from Sing Sing. where he had a
steady job since Deacon Pringle
missed his loan colt five years ago.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06

Murphy was a new cavalry recruit
and was given one of the worst
horses in the troop.
Remember" said the sergeant.
mo one is allowed to dismount with
| out orders"
Murphy was no sooner in the sad
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06

die than the horse kicked and Muir
ply went over his head.
Murphy" yelled the sergeant
when he discovered him lying breath
less on the ground, you dis
mounted"
81 did"
Did you have orders?"
81 did"
From headquarters
mo, sor; from headquarters"
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06

DIR. Wekerle, Hungarian Minister
of Finance, had a country-seat at
Pills, near Buda Pesth, where he was
in the habit of spending his Sundays.
His only piece of luggage on these oc-
casions consisted Of q small handbag,
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06

which never contained anything but
the regulation bottle, four handker-
chiefs, and a travelling cap. Return
ing one Monday to the capital, the
minister met a friend, a gentleman
named Won Fischer, who was carry
ing a bag exactly the counterpart of
his excellency's valise. Herr Won
Fischer smiled a thoughtful smile as
he noticed the similarity of the bags
and whispered TO the minister: MY
bag is filled with smuggled Turkish
TOBACCO. You will be good enough
to shield me against the custom
house spies, I hope" The minister
looked serious. II will do nothing of
the kind" he said, and when the two
gentlemen arrived at the Pesth depot,
the minister beckoned to a custom
house official and said: my friend
desires to pay duty on a lot of Turk
ish tobacco he has in his bag" His
excellency is joking" cried the baron.
who meanwhile had changed bags
with the minister; "see, / have no
c~ontraband articles about me-" and
he opened the bag in proof of what he
said. The minister looked perplexed
for a moment, then he resolutely
grabbed his friends bag and said to
the official: well, assess me for the
tobacco, but be quick about it. I
have no time to lose" The official
acted on the suggestion, and the min
lister paid three forms and fifty pfen-
nigs into the treasury of his own de-
partment. Then he jumped into the
carriage and drove off, shouting out
his thanks to the baron for his pres
| emit Of twenty pounds Of excellent to-
bacco.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06
Dinner Stories


Opie Reed says when he lived in
the mountains of Eastern Tennessee
a tall, old, gaunt hillsman came down
from across the Kentucky border one
day and told him this story:
Son. he said, i've been having a
right smart trouble lately with them
dad-fetched Hensley boys. The whole
passed. of EN- live right up the creek
a little piece above my place, and
here lately they tuck a sort of a
grudge ag'inst me. Every night when
l ven out to feed my stock they'd
be hid in the brush fence at the lower
end of my hoss-lot, and they'd shoot
at me.
Il got tired of it. I'm gittin' along
in years, and l can't see to aim a gun
the way 1 could oncet, on account of
my eyesight; but 1 jest made up my
mind the other night that 1 wouldn't
stand 1t no more. I'm ~peaceable, but
there's a limit to everything; SO that
iilSIlL WllGI L WCll Odl " lCCd L l1htll
my old gun along with me. Shore
enough, they was ambushed in the
game place, and they cut down on me
jest as soon as I came into sight.
$50 I upped with my gun and I sort
of sprayed them bushes with a few
bullets. That seemed to quiet EN-
down, and l went on with my feedin';
but in about an hour l felt sort of
curious, and 1 walked down to that
there brush fence and taken a look.
And son, all them Hensleys was
gone but three!"
Farmer John and Farmer Turmut
were having a talk over a glass of
ale In the local inn. Though they
had striven not to speak shop, their
talk had gradually veered round to
the one topic about which it was
really worth chattering:
Flows yer corn?" demanded
Farmer T.
"All right" raj the reply.
pigs doin' well?"
Fine" came the answer.
THAT little pony of yours-quite
well?"
I'm good condition. My little pony
went fourteen miles yesterday"
Good crop of cabbages?"
Excellent"
"Glad to hear it. How's the mis-
sus?"
In London the saloons are open on
Sundays between the hours of 3 and
5 in the afternoon. A couple of roughs
were standing in front of one of these
accommodations waiting for it TO
open when a Salvation Army captain
who was passing said, Men, don't
you know that when you enter a sa-
loon you enter hell" That's all right
old top" piped one of the roughs
they'll throw us out in a couple OF
hours"
II heal that Doctor Smith is treat
ing your" asked his friend.
yes" said Dobson.
"vVhat is he doing to you?"
We'll said Dodson. tive chat to-
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06
A Practical Gift

While the subject of early Christmas
shopping is on your d, let your
thoughts turn to a gas dome.
Such a gift, besides identifying the
home, would be a constant reminder of
the donor, and the Christmas cheer would
be in evidence throughout the year.
Handsome, artistic domes, which
would grace any room, can be had for
$3.50 and upwards.
Sold on easy credit terms, and hung
ready for use.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06

Lambert Caspers, a Chicago attor-
ney, told this story at a recent Y. NJ,
c. A. banquet:
A Kansas farmer, a Dane, applied
for naturalization papers. The judge
asked him:
Are you satisfied with the genera.
conditions of the country?"
"Yas," drawled the Dane.
docs the government suit your
queried the Judge.
"Yas, vas; only 1 would like to see
more rain" replied the farmer.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06
On the ~ ~ ~
SPUR T Of
By Roy K. Moulton

WHEN A FELLER'S IN LOVE.
When a feller's in love, it's a dandy
old world:
There is joy and content in the
breeze.
All his troubles and woes to the four
winds are hurled
And the birds sweetly chirp in the
trees.
When she lays her blond head on a
feller's broad chest
And she says that she loves him
for fair;
That he is her Lochinvar out of tn"
west
Then he feels Ike a quadmillion-
aire.
When a feller's in love he will talk
like a nut
And he writes stuff that amt fit to
print;
He will walk down the street with an
important strut,
Just as though he could buy out a
mint.
He will put on his collar and necktic.
by gum,
Seven days in the week, and he'll
primp
And he'll put his old savings account
on the bum
And he'll act like a regular simp.
He will swallow the CUFF that she
feeds him so well
She can lead him around by the
nose.
She can make him jump through
when she works her wierd spell.
She can lead him right on to re-
pose.
She can throw him down in a flint
hearted way.
She can turn him right out in the
cold.
She can pass back his ring in a man.
ner that's gay,
And can spurn his affection and
gold.
When a feller's in love he's a true
candidate
For the insane asylum, no doubt:
There is never a cure for the dippy
love state;
1t has just got to wear itself out.
He is looney, he's batty, bereft of his
sense,
As the tomcat who yells on a back
alley fence
Yes, he is, when a feller's in love.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06
From the HIckeyyiIIe clarion.

Wide Awake Hose Company was
called out last Wednesday. Enos
Hands celluloid collar had took fire
while he was sitting in the sun.
Elmer Jones went over to West
Hickeyville Tuesday to see William
Jennings Bryan change cars. Hank
Tumms has bought a nickel's worth
of washers to drop in the horseless
piano at the Goledn Nugget buffet.
This is getting to be quite a met
ropolitan place. Enos Hand Tues
dayed at West Hickeyville. Calling
cards printed at the Clarion office.
Why is it a homely galoot with a
face Ike a horse and buggy always
marries the prettiest girl in our
town?
Grandpa Bibbins hasn't had his
whiskers trimmed since the Chicago
fire. He found a robins nest in
them last Sunday.
Uncle Ezra Harkins, who is the
oldest man in u midst at this
writing, has bought a secondhand
bicycle, and will stump the country
selling crayon portraits. 1t will be
funny II he don't get those lace cur
tains Of his wrapped up in the wheel
and break his old fool neck. Good
secondhand teeth with haircloth I'm
ish and secondhand whatnot for sale
at this office.
Hank Tumms says Old Man Purdy
can beat any mar in this country
playin' seven-up. We won't namf
any names, but we think the mai
who says that is a liar. Old Mar
Purdy had the misfortune to sprair
his wrist while pitching nroits back
of the %postof1ce last week and has
been incapacitated from following his
business. which is whiting back o.
the stove in Tibbitts's grocery.
Lem Whipple is getting pretty wei
| acquainted down to the city. HI
| can call thIe e bartcnders aad on'
! policeman by their first names Eli
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-12-06

II hear that Doctor Smith is treat.
ing your" asked his friend.
YES" said Dobson.
what is he doing to you?"
"Well,' said Dodson, I'VE chat to-