The Washington herald., 1912-04-12
STATESMEN, REAL AND NEAR.
By FRED C. KELLY

To those OF US who never acquired any
reputation for being the teachers pride
back in the gladsome, care-free school
days. It is a constant source Of comfort
to run into men now taking part in the
councils Of the nation for whom the pro
fessors predicted dire things.
Representative Alexander Gregg. Of
Pennsylvania, left school in his early
teens under circumstances that should
teach a lesson. Just what the lesson is
does not occur to one right at this mo-
ment. but let US forge rapidly ahead with
our tale.
Gregg was studying Latin. There were
four boys in his Latin class. and they
had raised fund for the common de-
fence and Invested II in a literal transla-
tion of the text they were studying. BY
the aid OF this translation they got along
first rate. and acquired an intimacy with
such mysteries as datiye cases and plu-
perfect lenses.
One morning the professor asked the
boy at Gregg's right something about the
Caesars rather boastful chronicles of his
eoings. and the boy allowed that II was
the pluperfect tense. The professor de-
MED this. but the boy having seen It all
explained quite clearly in his translation.
took issue with the teacher. He said he
knew what tense ii was. all right. and
he didn't care q continental what notion
anybody else had on the point He
guessed he could recognize his cid friend
pluperfect tense when he saw II.
at is not wise for small crafts TO sail
too far from shore" suggested the
feacber
yes" retorted Gregg's impertinent
classrnate. "and even an ocean liner gets
lost sometimes in the middle Of the
ocean"
That was considered about the limit of
impotence, and the teacher being unable
to think OF any other retort, told the boy
he was fired from the school.
Then arose the question Of what should
become Of the Latin translation that the
four classmates owned and used cooper
ativeIy The late member OF the class
wished TO sell out his interest, but the
others did not have the ready capital TO
take over his stock, and so the boy went
away taking the book with him. That
left the others in a pretty fix, indeed.
and Gregg got out OF an embarrassing
situation by asking for his time, so to
speak. then and there. The schoolhouse
knew him no more.
N''You will end up by being hung unless
1 miss my guess" was the teachers
farewell comment
But there Is where the teacher was
wrong. or at least he hasn't made good
on his prediction up to the present time.
Gregg got job teaching school himself,
feeling that the teacher had all the soft
end OF It. anyhow, with nothing to do
L. ,r~fs. ,vA 1u FrVanefFOnE
He worked by easy stages from teacher
to editor Of paper. lawyer. prosecuting
attorney, member OF the school board
don't tumble that one-and Congressman.
A tall, lean stranger shufied into the
once OF Senator Burton the other morn
ing in quest Of Senatorial influence for
a government job. In the course of his
talk with the Senator's secretary, H. B.
Fuller, he observed:
Seems like I've met you before. Did
you ever attend the Suchandsuch Busi-
ness College out in OhioT'
mo, / never got to go there" replied
Fuller, who is a rather scholarly young
man, holding four or five college degrees,
and the author Of several books on gov
srnmental topics that read Iearnedly.
And what school did you attendT' IN
QNhc0 llio HLdHBcIs
"Oh, Yale mostly" replied Fuller, busy
ing himself with his tasks.
well" opined the visitor, affably,
..thst's a good college, too"
Representative Joe Byrns, Of Tennes-
see. has a friend back home who sells
pianos for 9 living. One morning this
salesman went to his employer and said
he believed he knew where he could sell
one Of their secondhand pianos II he
had a day on
"All right" Said the employer. ''but
hurry right back. because you know this
IL the busy season, and we can't spare
you long"
for the piano.
His employer glared at him. Il thought
l told you TO come right back" he said.