davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
Two Smiles.

Ezra Pound, the poet. was talking
at tho Authors club in New York.
about Shclley's cremation
Cremation. although beautiful" he
said. lends itself TO ribald Jest In n
way that scpulturc doesn't
"Who can forbear smile at the
thought OF that devoted young ma.
iron. who, her front steps being coy.
cred with sleet, sprinkled her first
husbands ashes over them in order
that her second husband might de.
scepd in safety?"
Smiling himself Mr.. Pound re-
sumed:
And who could forboar another
smile at the thought of the young
widow on the blustcry March morning
who entered her drawing room to find
that the wind had overturned the vase
which contained her husbands re-
mains?
"'Pshaw.' che said, now isn't It just
like George to throw his ashes all
over my new Kirmanshah rug!
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
NEWSar MISSOURI
RESULTS OF ELECTION.
Democrats Elect II Executives ana
Republicans 7.

Jefferson ity.--Folowing are the
cities and towns which held elections;
also the chief executives elected and
their political faith:
Kansas City, Henry L. Jost, Demo
cratic.
ST. Joseph. Chas A. pfeiffer. Re
publican.
Joplin. (Councin, Democratic.
Sedalia. F. L. Ludcmann, Demo
cratic.
Jefferson City (CounciD, Demo,
cratic
Bo0nyile, J. NJ Grimes, Republican.
Fulton, T. II Fowler, Democratic.
Montgomery city, J. II. Appling.
Democratic.
Salem, W, W Roney, Republican.
Columbia, tCoun"in, Democratic,
Mexico Willard Potts. Democratic.
Macon, CEas Payson, Republican.
Fishery, J u Ellis, Nonpartisan.
Carthage W. H. Black, Republican.
West Plains, c. T. Aid, Democratic.
BrookGeld, u. NJ Lomax. Citizen.
Poplar Bluff. (CounciD, Democratic.
Pacific, A. Koppitz, Democratic.
Warrenton. T. f. Walker
Lebanon, f. r. Stebbns. Republl.
can.
Washington, Ed, f. Jasper Demo.
cratic
ilartyille, ] w CASTOR, Citizen.
Bismarck, Geo. ]. Goelse, Wet.
Hermann, A. B. Walker
Monroe city, j. S, Scott, Demo.
cratic
Huntsville. p l.. Vase, Democratic.
Springfield, Geo w. Cutler. Rcpub-
lean
Sikcston, 4. J. Malone.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
CAPITOL FEES STAGGERING.
Architect Demands $4,000 for De,
Sqn He Submits.

jefferson City.-The Missouri CAPT.
tol commission met to consider fur.
there its architectural program pre-.
pared by the advisory architect. L.
Baylor Pendleton Members Of the
commission said the program would
be announced soon.
Some discoveries have been made
not altogether satisfactory to the
commission For ir3tance. II has
learned that an architect demands for
his fee an amount equal to Der cent
Of the entire cost OF the building The
new state house is to cost $3.0oo.oo0.
which would yield to the architect
who furnishes the design, provided
The commission falls for the arrG"e e.
ment, sum amounting to $2l0,O00.
This is fee larger than the commits.
sion cares to pay and there will be a
stipulation for smaller percentage
put into the program for competition.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
Misunderstood Gator,

The winter afternoon was like June.
and. taking tea under a palm on the
lawn Of the Royal Poincana at Palm
Beach, n sportsman said:
This morning photographed an
alligator My boy to get him, stripped
and waded into the water up to his
chin The boy felt about with his
feet In the mud TIL he found big
gator Then he ducked down grabbed
the gator by the nose and dragged
him slowly ashore to his waiting
lens"
But" said a girl in white wasn't
It danEerous?"
Not a bit"
but ! thought alligators ate you!"
NO no." said the sportsman You
are confusing the alligator with the
crocodile The Indian crocodile eats
men and women. but the Florida ALI
gator Is as harmless. literally as
harmless, as a COW"
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
To Take a Different Route.

"Sistern and brethren" exhorted
Uncle Abraham, recent promotion
from the pillow TO the pulpit, ION de-
one side er dis here meetln' house is
road leading to destruction. on do
udder is a road gwine to hell and
damnatIon. which you gwine pur-
500? Oar ia the internal question::
Which is you gwine pursoo?"
Law, Brer Abraham" spoke Sis
ter Eliza from the back pew, 81 speck
I'm er gwine home too de woods! -
Lippincotts
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
Smelling the Matter. Anyhow.

Little Harold lives In Broad Ripple
His mother got him ready for bed
one cold night, and TO be sure he
would be warm enough during the
night she took extra precautions. re
lGtes the indianapolis News. After
she had put on his little fuzzy paja
mas she tucked him carefully In be
tween the wool blankets Then. to
make doubly sure she got hot water
bottle for him-and the youngster
was apparently as snug ms could be
with only his little nose sticking out
from beneath the covers
When his mother had finished the
tucking,in job she turned down the
light Soon the entire family was in
bed But Harold is like most young,
sters. lie loves his mother and wish.
es lots Of attention So in his child
mind he figured out a way to get her
to his bed,
Mamma" he walled, I'm cold"
Nonsense, som" replied his moth.
err and she never made Il move to 20
to his rescue.
The little boy tried the opposite
We'll. I'm hot. them" he yelled
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11

Governor BeryI Carroll Of Iowa has
an amusing story of a state senator
whose amusing appearance might pos
sibly lead one to mistake him for a
labor!ng man, but who Is as sensitive
ms n woman TO nil unpleasant circum-
stances.
This man" said Governor Carroll.
happened to be standing outside q
Des Moincs undertaking establish
mcnt. conyersing with q friend on
political matters, when one of the
employees came out of the shop and
saiA:
Say, win you give IA lift with
casltct"'"
THE senator shuddercd and replied
hcsItatingly:
lis there's there anything in
IT,
Sure came the hearty reply,
there's Il couple OF drinks in IT,
Philadelphia Saturday Evening Post
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
Convenient Code

Frank l. Cobb used to be n reporter
in Detroit and knew intimately for
mer governor of the state of MIchi-
gan. who was renowned among other
things for his ability as free-hand
swearer.
One night Cobb was dining with tho
ex-governor and his family A mes
scnger came In to tell the host that
one OF his pet political schemes had
Just been defeated through the bum
Cling of lieutenent The old man
ripped out string OF dark blue ones.
Now. pa" said his wife. you prom
Used me you would quit cursinE"
Marie" said the ex-governor. I'm
not cussinE this is Just the way
talk !"--P philadelphia Saturday Even
ing Post
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
WHY PEOPLE GO TO
CANADA

Those who are wondering why tho
number of Americans going TO Canada
year by year increases in the rates
that 1t does, would not be so surprised
were they to accompany one of tho
numerous excursions that are being
run under the auspices of the Govern.
ment from several of the states, and
remain with the settler until he gets
onto the free homestCads, which, as
stated by Speaker Champ Clark, in the
L. s. senate the other day, comprises
100 acres Of the most fertile soil and
with remarkably easy settlement con-
ditions. Then watch the results,
whether 1t be on this free homestead
of 100 acres or on land which he may
purchase at from SIS to $50. per acre,
fully as good as the Sl00 and $3.50.
per acre land Of his native state, and
which his means will not permit his
purchasing. On the part of the men,
scrs Of the L, S. Senate and Congress
there is nothing but praise for Canada.
Canadian laws and Canadian lands al
though the reasonable desire is shown
in their remarks, that they pass legis.
latIon, (Which Is very praiscworthy)
that Will make the land laws of the
United States much easier.
II is the success of the American
settler in Canada that attracts others,
and when experiences such as the fol-
lowing are related 10 the friend back
home" is II any wonder that increased
interest Is aroused and a determine.
ton arrived at, to participate in the
newfound way up In Canada that
means wealth and health and all that
accompanies It.
William Johnston, who formerly
lived at Alexandria, Mimi, settled in
the AlberG District near Battle River
and In writing to one of the Canadian
Government agents, located In the
United States says I'VE have had no
failures of crops during our nine years
in Canada. | threshed 1908 bushels OF
wheat and 1888 bushels Of oats In 1911,
on my 100 acres. This is a beautiful
country. | keep six good work horses
and milk seven cows, getting good
prices for butter and eggs. We get
our coal for $500 per ton at the mine.
about one mile from the farm. Am
about one and half miles from fine
school AS for the cold weather II Is
much miider here than in Minnesota,
whore | lived for q years. Our well
is So feet deep and we have fno wa.
ter Wild land is selling fw SIS.
20 SIS. per acre. Improved farrifs are
much higher. | am well satisfied with
the country, and would not sell unless
l got big price, as We have all done
well here"
Good reasons to account for the
number going to Csrada
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
NOTHING Lost.

Mr. Chairman" said the orator.
who had already occupied the plat
form for twenty minutes, amid many
Intersections from the audience. "Mr
Chairman May ! appeal on a point
Of order? There is really so much
desultory conversation going on in
parts OF the hall that 1t is impossible
for me to hear a word | am saying
Voice from the Back OF the Hall
Don't be downhearted; you're not
missing much
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
Eilipinos Dislike AutoA.

The reckless and nsolcnt hutomN
Dilist is hated the world over, In the
Philippines. where most of the auto
mchillsts are foreigners, and where
tho natives have been used to loIter
comfortably In the roads after tho
fashion Of easy-going southern coun.
tries. the automobiles have lorg been
n grievance. and. failing to secure eff
fectlve regulation. tho FillpInos have
adopted the practice OF rolling big
boulders into the roadway as hint
not to turn corners at breakneck
speed
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
GOOD ROADS DISCUSSED.
Palmyra Commercial Club Entertans
Hannibal Business Men.

Palmyra --- An enthusiastic good
roads meeting was held here. The
Palmyra Commercial Club invited the
Hannibal Commercial Club and the
farmers OF the county as its guests
A dinner was served at the court
house
The speakers were w j Meyers
president Of the Hannibal Commercial
Club; ] II Harrison of Fayette. C.
r. Jones OF Chillicothe; 5. J. Roy
George a. Mahan, George d. Clay
ton of Hannibal. and Or. Silas San,
ford. president of the Palmyra Com
mercial Club
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
His Number.

lie ga2ed tcnuerly into her eyes as
she spoke.
Life, she murmured drcamily. rs,
after all, nothing but romance N
which We are characters. moving Mth.
er and yon as the supreme author of
our being directs"
And in the novel OF your life.
said he, tenderly. where do | come
tn"
YOU she answered with smile
oh you are-lct me see--Ono. two.
thrce-you are Chap Seventeen. -
Harpcr's Weekly,
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
Postofflce Robbers Sentenced.

Springfleld.-llarry Ward of Spo.
zane, Frank Kcssler of Little Rock.
frank Finch of Denver and James RI
ey of Des Moines, convicted Of q
)ostolticc burglary in Howell county,
we're sentenced to six years IN the
)enitentiary
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11

Magistrate-What Is the charge
against this old man?
Omcer-Stealing some birthstone
your honor. He was caught In the act
Magistrate Ito prisonerl My aged
friend. couldn't you have waited few
years longer?
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
Recount for sprinotield Office.

Springfield. recount will be nee.
.ssary to determine whether Len
Walker, Republican. or Fred Moon.
Democrat, was elected city attorney
II Springfield A discrepancy in one
ward will have to be investigated
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11

Coles Carholisalve quickly relieves and
cures burning. itching and torturing skin
discusses II instantly stops the pain of
burns. Cures without scars. 25c and Soc
by druggists. For free sample write to
J. ". Colo & Co.. Black River Falls. Wis.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
Leans Out Window In Sleep.

Downing-Arthur Ross, 81 years
Did, while asleep. jumped headlong
through window and was seriously
injured. The crash OF glass aroused
he family, who found Ross in q
leighbors yard
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
FLOOD AID ASKED.
Governor Makes State .Wide Appeal
for Relief In Southeast Section.

Jefferson City-Gov Hadlcy issued
statement calling on the people Of
Missouri to raise funds for the relief
IF the food sufferers in southeast Mis-.
souri,. especially in New Madrid coun-
y. from n large part of which the peo-
pie have been driven from their
homes by high waters.
The governor has received $500
rom the National Red Cross Associa-
ion for the relief Of the sufferers.
subscriptions should be sent to Walk
n Hill. Mechanics-American National
oank St. Louis, treasurer of the State
Red Cross Association.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
Incident of Traffic

Didn't you tell me dat speckled moss
you sold me was gaited?" asked Uncle
Raspberry
Oats what told you" replied Mr..
Erastus Pinkloj and OATS what he
Is. He's variegated."
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
Fair Site Fixed.

San Francisco, Cal.-The site for
he Missouri building at the Panama
Pacific exposition was selected and
marked by ceremonies in which j. +.
Black represented the Missouri expo
lticn commissioners.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11

Mother-Whon he went to kiss you,
why didn't you call me?
DauGhter--Why. ma, | never i'm
aEined that you wanted him to kiss
YOU
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
Extreme Meagures,

81 hand my husband the bills.
"Well?"
Then he foots them"
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11

Owens--Say lend me a fyer old
man.
Buwens-If you'd save your own
money you wouldn't have TO borrow
from your friends
Owens-But It's because | want to
save my own money that | borrow
from my friends
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
Defined,

Frcddie-Say, dad. what's morbid
curiosity?
Cobwiggcr-Thats what the fellow
has who butts In ahead OF you and
keeps you from seeing anything.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11

As We grow more sensible We refuse drug
cathartics and take Instead Natures herb
cure, Garfield Tea.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
She Knew.

Miss Gushcr--Oh, please tell me.
DO you think poets have to be born
Tho Poets Wife-Yes, borne with.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11

Nothing disappoints some women
more than to find that scandal isn't
after all
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11

To overcome constipation and resultant
Ills, take Garfield lea, pure herb laxative
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11

PILES CURED IN O TO IA DAYS
T0nr druggist Will refund money II PhEO OlNT-
MINT fails 10 cure any cahc of itching, Blind,
Bleed ng or ProttuunR Piles in 10 ID days. Doc.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-04-11
Why Should a Chicken
Lay a Soft-Shelled Egg?

Because Willie the chicken don't know how hmdshdd unless
it has somefo odwihm in it.
So chckeuaes often provide limestone gravel broken oyster shells
other form Of lime
chicken and finds food and behaves sena
Shut it and feed stuff lacking lime and the eggs sdtheed
Let's step from chickens o human beings
Why child backward and why does have pros
There o
the food deficient in Phosphate of Potash the gray the
and brain be rebuilt each day make good the cells broken down by the
activities Of yesterday
Phosphate of Potash the element Mature demands to
albumin and water to make gray matter
Grape-Nuts food heavy in Phosphate of Potash in dgeibe FORM
always food thoughtful suit
able food for his Children. wife andh himself
The Washington herald., 1912-11-08
YOU CAN BE A WINNER! /!
Here's the Wav tn Get One of the 35l Awards

from q merchant in the contest you get
votes both from him and the manu-
facturer on the same purchase.
Read all the Advertisements in The
Herald to keep In close touch with the
contest opportunities.
Bear in mind that contestants have to
bear no expense; and because al lines
of goods are represented in the contest
unnecessary purchases are not required.
It IL advisable for contestants to Sc
cure copies Of the list of advertising
merchants and manufacturers from The
Advocate and distribute them among
their friends with the request that they
patronise those establishments and prod
ucts.
In asling . person to assist him In the
competition a contestant Ii doing that
person q favor. For BY patrouizing the
firms in the contest the public ID certain
to get reliable qualities at moderate
prices.
Success will not come by chance. Il
IL, not lucky contest. To win you
must plan. work. and step lively. Per
sistent effort 10 the secret Of succesG
Above all. b sure you know all the ad-
vertisers In the contest
By all means enter at once. The delay
The Washington herald., 1912-11-08

TIE race gets keener and moro inter-
e.tinx every day. Contestants are work
ing harder than ever. YOU must keep
on the jump to win. Patronize the mer-
chants and manufacturers whose adver-
tisements appear In The Washington
Herald either on this or some other page.
Advertisers in the contest have this line
in their announcements: I'VE give votes
In The Heralds $4,000 contest" Retail
merchants all over the city are giving
votes. Buy from them.
You get one vote with every cents
you spend with them. These firms sell
everything you need. Watch for new
announcements.
Scores Of manufacturers are repre-
ssnted. Save the wrappers. isbsaA or
cartons of their goods and turn them
In 1t the Contest Building. ~ Thirteenth
Street Northwest You get one vote
for each cent you spend for manu-
fac4uEsd product advertised h the con-
test You get the VOTES on the pEodnot
whsther the merchant you buy from u
IN the contest or not but by buying
The Washington herald., 1912-11-08

Of Q single week OF day may result In
defeat at the end Of the compstition. All
that II necessary to do to enter the COM
petition il to cut out one Of the nomina-
ton blanks printed daily In The HerAld.
I'LL It In. and forward to Ths Advocate.
Upon the acceptance OF the nomination
the nominee will b credited with Lon
votes. A perSon may nominate himself
or have soine one else do Il for him. II
II II inconvenient to send In oos oe the
regulation nomination blanks. than for
ward the name, address and telephone
number. II any. Of the nominee. the
number Of the voting district. and the
name Of the nominator. Nominations
should be addressed to The Advocate.
Washington Herald Contest Headquar-
tiers. n4 Thirteenth Street Northwest,
Washington. d. C.
Only ono nominat1on VII b accspted
for each nominee. Persons IN ssn1ing
in nominations should b careful that the
number Of the voting district 70 Given
correctly. Entering the contest places
the competitor under no obligationa n
does not require the expenditure Of
money. or ths possssaoa Of unusual
gifts.
II you have not alrsaay sntrsd IL
contest. cut the hank cut Ct eaeA an
It in. and ssod u - TAs AAvoeaGA :
The Washington herald., 1912-11-08
Wide-awake Contestants Are
Making Big Gains

Everybody Washington
privileges fforan
organizers winw
supporters
10 futherg
the and standing increases strictly purchases
The Washington herald., 1912-11-08

The Advocates display the store and
the demonstrations Of merchandise and awards have aroused the
interest of the whole city contest healthy boom
see that you make the most Of the increased interest
a Get your friends Interested counts.
The roundup record. [volume] (Roundup, Mont.) 1908-1929, 1912-04-26
CATASTROPHE COULD have BEEN AvERTED.
THROUGHOUT ENTIRE EVIDENCES ,NcoM.
PLETENEss RUSHED OFF ON ITS MAIDEN VOYAGE
MATuRELY. RECORD SECURES LENGTHY INTERVIEW

Mrs. w. H. Shelly Of Deer Lodge
Titanic disaster passed thru Roundup
Tuesday morning on No. Is bound for
home Mrs. Shelly and her mother
were returning from England without
male relatives or escort, and conse
quently were more fortunate than
many other women survivors who
lost their husband, father, brother or
son in the ship wreck.
In an interview witha representative
OF The Record Mrs. Shelly stated that
their stateroom was on the same deck
as that of Mr.. Ismay, the managing
director of the White Star line, and
they were rescued in the last boat
that left the doomed ship. Mr. Ismay
was also an occupant of this boat.
According to Mrs. Shelly's version,
the Titanic was in many respects in
complete and not prepared to enooun-
ter any of the dangers that beset ves-
sells cruising the Atlantic ocean. The
fact that there was no search light on
board was often commented upon by
passengers on board. Throughout the
entire ship were evidences Of incom-
peteness and unfinished work. A
large number of the rooms occupied
to be completed That portion of the
ship occupied by the steerage passen-
gers also lacked completion and all
throughout the vessel were evidences
that the Titanic had been rushed off
on its maiden voyage prematurely.
Mrs. Shelly stated that there was
no panic or confusion Immediately fol
lowing the collision with the ice berg,
but as the life boats, one after another,
left the ship, loaded with women and
children, and pulled away from the
vessel, those on board became alarm.
ed. When the last two boats We're
lowered, the life boat which carried
Mrs. Shelley and her mother, and a
colapsable boat, the officers of the
ship were compelled to fight the
crowd on the main deck with fire
arms to prevent a stampede in the
mad rush for boat.
Mrs. Shelly saw three foreign look
ing men, probably steerage passen-
gers, shot down by officers of the ship.
The life boat in which Mrs. Shelly
and her mother was saved was low
cred simultaneously with a collapse
BILE boat AS the cOllapsable boat
Continued on page A.
The roundup record. [volume] (Roundup, Mont.) 1908-1929, 1912-04-26
COMMERCIAL CLUB MEETS
Several important Matters Come up
for Dscussion-to Make Arrange.
ments to have Good Roads
Lecturer Visit Roundup.

The Commercial Club met in the
Pioneer Club rooms Wednesday, with
,bout % members in attendance. The
first important question taken UP was
rcight classification No. 81. Consider
able time was consumed in discussing
this matter and il was finally turned
over to the transportation committee.
The giving Of financial aid TO the
Roundup band was a subject of inter
estins discussion. The matter how
ever was left in the hands Of the en-
tertainment committee.
DR.. Pigot protested against the ex-
penditure OF the funds Of the Club
withou, being frs. brought before the
club
The club extended an invitation to
Prof Lathrop, an expert on good roads
TO give a lecture in Roundup. AS soon
as definite arrangements can be made
he date of the lecture will be announc.
ed
Several other matters OF minor i'm.
portance were also disposed Of