New-York tribune., 1912-03-19
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Anything in the line OF luck can happen
in New York City" observed a commercial
traveller recently, "and some Of the funni'
est stunts are accidentally pulled of. | saw
something the other day quicker done than
told. An automobile was going down
Broadway. woman dropped a magazine
or book from It. a man picked It up-a
man worse for poverty. AS the chauffeur
turned the vehicle this man threw tho
maCazire or book into II and the woman
tossed coin at him. Another man, run
ming down Broadway. caught the coin and
continued runnlngA The man who had lost
his tip started TO. laugh, and soon Broad
way was laughing with him, although not
knowing what It was laughing at"
The would-be contributor wrote-Youi
office boy has been returning my jokes
Please look into the matter.
And the editor replied have. lie Is now
my chief assistant.-Satire.
THE REAL REASON.
rAgc is the real reason for divorce.--New'
Eem.l
When he attains TO adult years
Man courts That's the beginning,
lie dreams Of married life which cheers,
And fights strong for a winning;
He plies his suit. he wins her hand,
They wed. And then comes trouble;
one takes trip across the land
To burst the marriage bubble.
OF course it's age that counts the most
In getting pairs minated.
When young divorce Is but a ghost,
To see which we're not fated;
But marriage is Itself TO blame
without II no divorces
sun. age promotes the marriage game
And laughs at its remorses.
A. w u
1T takes YOU pretty long while 10 shave
yourself. doesn't it,
Not so very long; l can shave myself
quicker than my old barber could
II don't believe IT,"
"It's n fact you see. he stammers terri
blythe Catholic STANDARD and Times.
"I never knew before how large my fam
ily was" said Julius Hamburger, Sheriff OF
New York County, the other day. lie
added that since he took charge OF his
present high and lucrative office he had re-
ceived letters from every part of the coun-
try from persons OF the name OF Harbur-
ger and other persons whose cosnomens
were only something like IT," who were
sure. however that the Sheriff was related
TO them, even though only remotely. But
the Sheriff, ex-Coroner. ex-Deputy Con-
troller etc. knew every living relative be-
fore he became Sheriff; and they have not
Increased since January !.
81 am quite ready now" said the Emil
mont Citizen who was about To be inter
viewed. and II you please, we VIII step
into the next room.
This is your office, isn't IT, queried the
reporter "Why not here?'
"Because [ know there's no dictosrdph
concealed in there, and m not apsoiutely
new and interesting telephone system
has been installed by the Police Depart
ment of Berlin to facilitate the calling OF
branch stations and headquarters. All the
members OF the department, uniformed and
secret service, are provided with pocket
telephom sets so compact as TO be easily
carried in the pocket or In small leather
holder attached TO a strap. Contact sta
tions are scattered over the city. on fence
posts. on the walls OF buildings, and on
trees in the parks. The connection Is es-
tablished by merely plugging the contact
station.
The Applicant-An' how many children
have you, maam?
The I.adV-Four.
The Applicant-Thats a very unfashiona-
BILE numter. ma am. I've always worked
for quality people where one child was
above the av'rage, ma'am.-Cleyeland Plain
Dealer. "