davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30
OF
 TOWN OF RAY
It Will Occupy the Same Site, Will Be of the Best Construction and Be Pro vided With a Water Sup ply

C. w. Mckee who returned recently from a visit to the town of Ray. brings optimistic reports of the future of that busy business point notwithstanding it's business section was entirely de- stroyed by fire less than two weeks ago He says the town will be rebuilt at once on better lines and as su0- stantially as one could nope to See a place of that size
 MT. Mckee says the owners of the only eleven lots that do nos belong to the company are in perfecl accurd with the company in planning the rebuilding of the place. None of them want a shack town or a wild and WooIy' place. They propose to not only nave a good town as to buildings but to set high moral standard and keep the viii lage free If the riff raff, or vigorously restrain all evil elements that may ap- pear. To that end they are cOOperat- ing on a set of rules for town govern ment and will have the authority of the sheriff for special police protection All saloons will be required to close at midnight.
 No buildings will be constructed of a type inferior to what the insurance men classify as class E and construc- tion will be with view of meeting the demands of insurance companies as far as possible that property owners may have protection at reasonable rates Moreover it is planned to de wise some method of securing a city water supply that will afford a measure of fire protection as well as be of greater convenience for the peODIe
 Assurance is absolute that the new Ray will occupy the same site which fact is mentioned in the settling of report in circulation that it might be decided to build some where else The owners of the eleven lots say they have been given the finest possible treat mcnt by the Ray company and that all are working together in harmony for the Lest interest of each other anu of the community.
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30

day. The doctors say that our dia phragms must be tickled or we will die How can anybody sit down and deliberately make up jokes that will tickle us?
 The main source of newspaper jokes is the professional funny man. The funny man works in various ways. A crude beginner at the joke trade usu- ally opens the dictionary at random and begins to look for words to make puns on He comes to horse. That reminds him of horse sense" So he frames the following little Johnny and Teacher anecdote:
 ''Johnny," said the teacher, write sentence using the words horse sense" Johnny wrote: One night pa forgot to lock the stable and he hasn't seen his horse sense.'
 This joke is duly published in the funny column of the metropolitan paper magazine writer, seeing the story in country paper thinks is original and exclusive. He steals it and sells it to a weekly magazine of national circulation. From this magazine London editors grab the lit
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30
TOUR ON
 IMMIGRATION
Randall Howard Inspects Arizona in Course of Study on the Westward Movement of America s Population

Randall R. Howard. a magazine writer of nation wide repute and at the present time doing special work for the Portland Oregonian arrived in Phoenix last night on his tour of in VestigatiOn
 The purpose of the tour is to gath CT facts regarding the westward course of immigration, the reasons for the movement and it's advantages both to the country and the home seeker
 In each state visited, and they in- clude all those west of or in the Rocky mountains d certain definite set of facts is sought. In search of this particular information. MT. How ard has travelled through twelve western states including California and Nevada and to complete the tour will take in Texas. oklahoma and the northwest country after seeing Ari- zona
 Following his intention of seeing everything of note on his route, How ard left last night with the board of trade members on the Chandler jaunt In q few days he will go over the project thoroughly with a view to adding valley facts to his voluminous data.
 The inspection will not of course be confined to this county. The rest of the state will come in for it's share of the scrutiny and by the time he is through, the expert will know all about immigration condi- tiOns in Arizona The data will be published soon in the northwestern city with special and useful publicity for the new state
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30
PLUMS AND PRICES
 DROP IN HIGH WIND
Hay Drying Wind Not Entirely a Blessns-Nose Of Falling Fruit
 Like Hailstorm

It is funny, not to say disgusting that d man can never have any ointment without q fly getting in it. That is the statement expressed pretty freely. though not always in such mild terms. by the fruit growers and farmers of the Salt River val ley
 Just when conditions were right and everything lovely for great big plum crop, came a day of most dis agreeable and damaging weather and tons and tons of the precious ripen- ing fruit were blown out of the trees, littering the ground with dollars that may now be converted only into cents.
 The high wind with all it's dust was not altogether a robber of pros perity. for it dried out the hay as well and kept the temperature down from the fever point. But like all blessings it has it's drawbacks as has been intimated In many cases the plums dropped so thickly from the boughs. the noise was like a thunder storm. It will be noticed through the want ad columns that desOlated grove men are trying to get a little out of the fallen crop. Plums will be for sale at prices that look almost like gifts, in the attempt to reCoup in some small way their losses.
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30
NEW GUN IS FOR AERoPLANEs
A Hall Of Steel Jacketed Bullets Can
 Be Fired

Perhaps the most remarkable gun in the world is just now receiving its tryout at the army aviation camp, at College Park. Md. It is even said that probably Uncle Sam will accept 1T as an official arm, and equip the fleet of aeroplanes with it.
 The gun, which is the invention of Lieut. Col. l. N Lewis of the army. is a rapid firearm, manufactured es- pecially for aeroplanes. It is small enough and light enough-the weight if twenty-five pOunds-to be carried on the lap of q passenger in a bi plane Moreover it is said to be the only air cooled rapid fire gun ever invented.
 It looks like a toy, but tests by of ficers unfamiliar with it's mechanism. and not used to firing at targets from the air. have proved it's value
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30

in the opinion of observers on the ground.
 The new gun is fired by a passen- ger on biplane. It can pour out perfect hail of steel jacketed bullets There is practically no recoil and the mechanism is of the simplest.
 Army and navy officers who have witnessed the tests unite in declaring it is the most powerful arm for the special purpose for which it Is de signed that has ever been projected That it will have a place in modern warfare is a general opinion here- New York Sun.
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30

Hire a little salesman at The Re publican office. A Want Ad will see more customers than you can
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30
OF LOCAL INTEREST
CARLOAD FOR CHICAGO

CARLOAD FOR CHICAGO The santa Fe last night dispatched an other through Pullman ear to Chi cago l aded mostly with Phoenix peo- pie Among the trevelers were: Mrs Chas Stambough, C. E. Gould, Carl T. Smith and father. Mary Stowers A. J Matthews of Tempe. Hans MT. Stafford.
 A PRECOciOUS THIEF-Acedio Castellano, aged 9, for the fifth time in his life fell into the hands of the police who have a problem on their hands as to what to do with him. He seems determined to steal and the industrial school even if it were considered the proper place to send him is already oVercroWded. The first time the officers got him was for rObbing the Phoenix Cycle com pany Then they got him for taking q child's bicycle. The next time he had an assortment of junk they neV- CT could locate. His latest depreda- tion was to take quantity of cart ridges from the store of Talbot & VI just how and where he secured them.
 STOLEN THEATER TICKETS - For the third time the supply room of the Coliseum theater has been broken into and this time three reelis of theater tickets were taken. The tickets are all numbered they will be ValueleSS to anyone who tries to use them, but the thief is neverthe- less irritating. l.. Soto, d Mexican boy, presented one of the stolen tick cts Friday night and was taken into custody telling conflicting stories as to how he secured it and duplicating others, among them a young man named Araiza whose answers to questions did not satisfy the police last night and he was also locked up for further investigation.
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30

tie jest and it is now afloat on the wide ocean of English language and it probably will outlive the man who wrote it.
 Most of the anecdotes that fill the funny columns never happened in real life. They are the brain child ren of some hired jester who dotes on anecdotes. There is a pun. right there. The professional funny man would ponder that minute, then perhaps produce a rhyme like this:
 Artie chokes on artichokes
 And writhes about in pain;
 But Auntie dotes on antidotes
 And soon he's well again.
 New York Evening Mail
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30
FREE MUSIC

Clip out three of the following coupons and fill in and take to the REDEWIIL MUSIC CO. 224 West Washington Street, Phoenix, Cor maiD together with five cents to pay cost of handling and get one copy of either of the following late popular songs There strings to the proposition. Simply cut out three coupons from the Arizona Republican of any three consecutive numbers and these together with five will entte you either of these beautiful songs, regular price 50c per copy.
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30
WOMAN THE MARTYR

My husband objects to me belong ing to more than five clubs"
 The monster. Why don't you get a divorce?"
 Well. it's this way My present club dues are very heavy, and my husband is one of these pig-hcaded brutes who would rather go to jail than pay alimony."
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30
POCKET BILLIARDS NOW

There is to be no such game here after as pool" the name agreed OH by billiard room keepers assembled in Chicago is pocket billiards" The old name. which comes from the French "Poule." or fowl. and is also used in French for the stakes in gambling, had come into disrepute
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30
NO TURPITUDE INVOLVED

Judge I ain't no vagrant. I'm in hard luck now, but I've seen better days"
 But this officer says you have been arrested repeatedly"
 He must be alludin to the times when l owned me automobeel"
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30
KITTY'S DISEASE

Kitty" said her mother. rebuk- ingly, you must sit still when you are at the table"
 T can't mamma" protested the little girl I'm fidgetarian. Nc CalIS MaCaZine
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30
WESTERN LUXURY

The east may have its baths of
 milk
 And comforts without number Its cushioned cots of Wadded silk on which to lie and slumber The mandarin his pleasures hath In palace or pagoda: Put, as for me, I'd like bath Of fizzy drug store soda. I'd souse my head while it was drawn By an attendant solemn, And then I'd turn the fine stream on My fevered spinal column.
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30
WHO WRITES THE JOKES?
Principally Professional Funny Men;
 Hence Their Sad" Quality

How are jokes made? The funny bone of the American people demands a thousand new pleasantries every
Arizona republican., 1912-06-30

because of the other kind of pool rooms which the police are always raiding
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1912-10-23

roaring curses IKE pirate captain in
a hurricane, and swearing that the
villains should not rob him OF his
bride
Mrs. Temple wrung her twitching
hands and tried to drag her husband
to his knees, crying:
"Oh, Walter, Walter, won't you
please say a prayer?-a good strong
prayer"
But the preacher was 50 confused
that he answered: What's the use OF
prayer in an emergency like this?
"Walter!" she shrieked.
I'm on my va-vacation. you know"
he stammered.
Marjorie was trying at the same
time to compel Mallory to crawl under
a seat and to find place to hide
Snoozleums, whom she was warning
not to say q word. SnooZleums, IN
derstanding only that his mistress
was In some distress, refused to stay
in his basket and kept Offering his
services and his attentions.
Suddenly Marjorie realized that
Kathleen was trying to faint in NAL
lory's arms, and forgot everything else
I'm a determined effort to prevent her.
After the first blood-sweat OF AFFECT
fright had begun to cool, the passen-
gers came to realize that the invaders
were not after lives, but loot. Then
came a panic of misery effort to con-
ceal treasure.
Kathleen, finding herself banished
from Mallory's protection, ran to Mrs.
Whitcomb, who had given Ashton up
as hopeless task.
What shall We do, oh, what, oh
what shall we do, dear Mrs. yelling.
TOM" she cried.
Don't you dare call me Mrs. Well.
ington!" Mrs. Whitcomb screamed;
then she began to f1utter. But we'd
better hide what we can. ! hope the
rah-rah-robbers are ge-gentlemen-
men"
She pushed q diamond locket con-
tanning q small portrait Of Sammy in
to her back hair, leaving part Of the
chain dangling. Then she tried to
stun a large handbag into her stock.
ing.
Mrs. Fosdick found her husband at
last, for he made a wild dash to
her side, embraced her, called her his
wife and defied all the powers OF Ne.
vada to tear them apart. He had a
brilliant idea. In order to save his
fat wallet from capture, he tossed II
through an open window. 1t fell al
the feet of one OF the robbers as he
ran along the side of the car, shoot
ing at such heads as were put out OF
windows. He picked 1t up and dropped
It into the feed-bag he had swung al
his side. Then running on, he clam
bered over the brass rail Of the OBJ
servation platform and entered the
rear of the train, as his confederate
driving the conductor ahead OF him
forged his way aft from the front
while a third masquerader aligned the
engineer, the fireman, the brakeman
and the baggagemen.
(Captinnad
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1912-10-23

CONTINUED Tomorrow
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11
ROSE PITONOF
In RECORD SWIM
American Girl Goes Sixteen Miles
in the Cold Waters of
the Thames.

London Sept. l0.-Rose Pitonof. the
Boston girl. swan sixteen miles In the
Geld waters of the Thames to-day in
four hours and thirty-four minutes.
Starting at Richmond Lock and finishing
at Tower Bridge at 7:l5 o'clock this
evening. she was as fit as a fish and
ready to swim farther. but the members
of the Sussex Motor Yacht Club and
the press men. who accompanied her.
urged otherwise, owing to the danger Of
the Thames.
Rose, proud at accomplishing a feat
never achieved by a woman swimmer,
intended swimming the English Chan
nel. but the weather has been so in
clement for four weeks that she was
prevented from attempting II.
She will sail for the United States in
few days and return for the Channel
swim next spring.
For the Thames performance to-day
all the London bridges were crowded
with people cheering the plucky Ameri-
can as she swan past. Miss Pitonof
used the breast stroke always, except
in the heavy wash of steamers, where
the overarm was necessary. She chewed
gum continuously. She took no nourish-
ment except two pieces OF sugar
moistened with brandy.
Americans m the crowd yelled:
"Oh. you kid. 'Hurrah for the Stars
and Stripes
Rose acknowledged the ovation from
time to time. raising her arm and chin
The Thames was patrolled by police
boats, which cleared the traffic. In
speaking of her visit. Miss Pitonof said {:
Il am pleased at English courtesy and
proud of being the American champion
in English water. / could have swan
twice the distance, but I will come
again. Send greetings to all my Ameri-
can friends
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11

The Italian government has appointed
new secretary TO the embassy here
Count Mauro Tnsti del Duchi di Val
minuti. Count Tosti Is still in Italy AND
will not arrive at his new post until
October.
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11
TWO MORE BRITISH
AYIATORS KILLED
Gasoline Tank Explodes and Officers
Are Dashed to Earth from
High Elevation.

Oxford. England. Sept. 1o.-Aviation
claimed two more victims in the ranks
OF the British army to-day, making four
members Of the royal flying corps killed
in aeroplane accidents in less than a
week.
Those who met death near here to-
day were Lieut.. Hotchkiss and Lieut.
Bettington.
While the men were passing the vii
lage of Wolvercot the aeroplane tank
suddenly exploded at a height of 500
feet. The machine seemed to disinte-
CRATE and fall TO pieces.
Hurled from the car by the force of
the explosion the bodies Of the avIators
fell far apart. They were badly mangled.
The shattered remains of Hotchkiss
fell in the river and those of Betting
ton fell in field. An investigation was
started by the war department at once.
countryman who saw the accident
said that the machine was going at great
speed when suddenly he saw a pun OF
smoke and the aeroplane broke into a
number of pieces. When the sound OF
the detonation reached the spectator he
knew that the motor had exploded.
The two fatalities to-day make a total
of fifty-two army aviators killed in aerial
ascents since the inauguration of avia-
ton. About half of the victims have
been French officers.
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11

Mrs. William F. Draper and her
daughter, Miss Margaret Preston Draper.
are to remain at Manchester until Sep
tember 20. when they go to Hopedale
for the unwilling of the statue of Gen
Draper on September Is.
An interesting visitor at the North
Shore is Miss Alice Whiting, daughter
of Dr. and Mrs. Guy Fairfax Whiting
of this city, who Is visiting Miss Mar
garet Draper. Miss Whiting accom-
panied Miss Draper on her return trip
from Bar Harbor. where the latter mad
been her guest for the horse show.
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11

Mrs. Edmund Tyler. OF this city and
Admission, Ala, has been visiting Mrs.
A c. Tyler at her home in Pequot Ave-
nue., New London, Conn.
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11
OLD SOLDIERS TO
RACE TEN MILES FOR
THOUSAND DOLLAR PRIZE

Los Angeles, Sept 1o-A remarkable
race for prize of $1,000 will be run
Thursday morning at the Washington
baseball park. The contestants will be
thirty 6. A. R. veterans. divided into
three relay teams, pitted against one
man, Col. ]. L. Smith, for a distance of
ten miles. Col. Smith has posted a GER
titled check for $1,000 to be given, he
says, to the ten men of the G. A. r.
who can defeat him in the race. The
race is creating more interest than any
other event Of the encampment. To-day
the veterans were entertained at Venice
Beach and the Soldiers Home at Saw
telle. ...
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11

Mrs Edward Burr. wife OF Col. Burr.
U. S. A, having spent two months at
Governors Island. has returned to
Washington. Her two sons, William
and John Burr, who are cadets at the
United States Military Academy, were
with her for some time at Governors
Island, where Col. Burr spent week-ends
with his family.
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11

The Minister from Nicaragua, Senior
Castrillo. is in town for few days.
The minister will return TO Rehoboth
Beach, where he and his family have
a summer cottage, later in the month.
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11
Motorcyclists Killed.

New York, Sept. 10.-While racing
through the streets of the East Side
early to-day on a motorcycle to keep an
appointment. Peter Millet, twenty-five
years old, a piano teacher, was killed
and Samuel Palofsky. an electrician, was
fatally hurt when their machine crashed
into a truck at the corner ofAvenue A
and Eleventh Street Both men were
hurled thirty feet and the horses at
tached to the truck were thrown to the
street.
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11

Mrs. William Haywood, Of I Street,
has arrived in the city with her son
and daughter from Atlantic City. Mrs.
and Miss Doris Haywood are contem-
plating, taking short motor trips in the
neighboring States during the coming
autumn.
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11
Re-probate Astor VIII.

New York, Sept. 10.-The will of the
late Col. John Jacob Astor was re-
probated to-day, an action made neces-
sary because of the birth of John Jacob
Astor, posthumous child of the million
aire No objection was interposed.
Egerton Winthrop. jr., guardian of the
baby who received only s3,oo000O of the
vast fortune. said the probating of the
viii In no way acted as barrier to any
subsequent proceedings that might be
deemed necessary.
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11

Mrs. Robert L. Henry. wife of Repre-
sentative Henry, after spending the early
summer at Atlantic City, has been max
ing a visit to Representative and Mr.
Martin w. Littleton at their country
place on Long Island.
Mrs Henry has now gone for a serie.
of visits at Virginia resorts.
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11
TUFTS Pills

enable the dyspeptic to eat Whatever he
wishes. They cause the food to assimilate and
nourish the body. give appetite, and
DEVELOP FLESH.
DR.. Tut Manufscturin4 c.. New York.
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11

Miss Helen Disney, who has been
visiting Miss Estelle Murray for the
past two weeks, returned to her home
in Baltimore yesterday.
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11
On an ocean Liner.

Frur1 Judge.
Maud-My neighbor at table doesn't
look very rich, and yet she constantly
growls about her trouble with servants.
Beatrice-Perhaps she keeps an intel
ligence office.
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11

sail from Boston on Saturday for Italy.
with her mother. Mrs. Charles Tingue,
to join her husband, who is assistant
to the naval attache of the embassies
in Rome and Vienna
The Washington herald., 1912-09-11

Mr.. and Mrs. William W. Finley, jr.,
spent Labor Day with Mr.. Finley, presi-
dent OF the Southern Railroad, and Mrs.
Finley at their cottage in Newport.
Mrs Finley, Jr., who was formerly Miss
Vera Downing. Of this city, accompanied
her husband on his return to Baltimore
where she is busy arranging her new
apartment at the Latrobe for the COM
ing winter.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11
PANTAGES

i, With special scenery depicting
the famous rendezvous of the
denizens of the Paris underworld,
ten talented French pantomimists
are presenting an exciting scene
of Apache life entitled "A Night
in the Paris Sums" as special
feature of the new vaudeville bill
at the Pantages theater begin
ming Monday afternoon. La
Danse du Coteau" or 1.-The Dance
of the Dagger" is said to be a
feature.
The Tilt and swing of popular
melodies will be interpreted by
Sonto Santucci, an Italian ac-
cordeon player.
Leon Morris famous wrestling
ponies are said to be trained to
an unusual degree. Banner and
Madison are the wrestling men,
bers of the troupe.
Miss Dorothy Vaughn, for
merly of Madame Sherry" in
PRODUCES a number of new popu-
lar melodies.
Duffy and Dyso are pair of
funny Australian comedians.
New motion pictures and spe-
cial music complete the show.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11
Tacoma
Company Here

The Kum-and-Go company, or
ganized to give both Tacomans
and tourists chance to see Ia
coma and surrounding sections,
will start it's auto service tomor-
row. A large White car carrying
rs will be put in commission to
tour the residence sections of Ia
coma, and make Titlow beach. A
passenger boat is to be put on to
go from Titlow beach to the
points across the bay.
Service will also be put on to
the Mountain.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11
THE EMPRESS

The new Empress bill presents
offerings which complete one OF
the widest varieties of vaudeville
entertainments, beginning with
Monday matinee.
The dramatic offering is eat
the Threshold" introduced by
Walter Law.
Del Francois miniature circus
is a dog and pony show with
trained ant eaters.
Peppino, celebrated accordeon-
list, is an Italian who has devoted
a life time to accomplishing won
derful technique.
AL Princie and Helen Dearie
are a pair of bright and illumin-
ating stars with a grist of snappy
patter, songs and dances.
Landry Brothers perform sensa-
tional feats on revolving ropes.
Mort Fox is a mimic. He is
said to be a bushel of fun all by
himself when he "takes off" q
Hebrew character.
The moving pictures for the
week are very good.