The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1912-08-22
Bob.
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and was elegantly dressed. Bob ap-
preached Bill and said:
do you see that man over there?
That's the bishop and he's the best
dressed man on the hill. Why, sir,
he's got on a twenty-five-dollar
broadcloath coat jist exactly like
mine; no difference betwixt the two,
sir!"
A well known widow Of means,
one of the most aristocratic ladies
of the Saltkeatchie, gave on one oc-
casion a sumptuous dinner and pri-
vate ball. Her home was exQuisitely
elegant, her guests well selected, and
Bob was invited as clown or fun
maker to the crowd; a jester, such as
we read about in the by gone days
of gallantry and chivalry. The din
ner was elegant, the may waltz was
beautiful "and all went merry as
marriage bell" Bob danced fire.
Quently during the evening, but he
was Don Quixote at Don Antonios
ball, and his chat, or talk was as
funny as his figures were ludlcrous.
The weather was warm, and Bob,
owing to the violent exercise, per-
spired freely.
In those days cloth was not as
plentiful as now, and many men OF
small means took advantage of a
very economical style of dress, then
fashionable, by wearing very fine
shirt front over a much less valuable
fabric, commonly and correctly call
ed a dicky. When Bob retired that
night he found that his false shirt
front was wet with perspiration, it
was spread in an open window to
dry, and during the night a puff of
wind carried it away. Next morn
ing por Bob was minus dicky, and
like Bo-Peep, he knew not where to
find it. Down stairs he went, and
| the first persons he met was the hos
tess herself with bevy of charming
young ladies. Addressing the hos
| tess he said:
Madam, 7 am in miserable and
shocking condition this morning. Last
night when I lay down my dicky was
as wet as a dish-rag and I spread it
out on the winder-sill to dry. This
morning, nam, that dicky has de-
parted and 1 would be pleased to
know if you have seen it, for l need
it sorely."
1t is needless to say that he got a
fresh. dicky instanter.
Bob bought farm on the Saltke-
atchie. The papers had been drawn
up, a notary public was taking the
jurat, and signed it as he should,
notary public" below his own sig
nature.
write that thing out complete, y
said Bob. Make it notorious re-
publican and be done with it. Also
write out the L. S. as you should.
Let it read long standing! l do
hate and detest this way you legal
men have got abbreviating all you
can. It's wrong and ridiculous"
How are your folks?" asked one
of his friends of Bob one morning:
why, sir, one of my boys got
shot the other day and he is in de-
plorable condition; and he was hit
in the most dangerous place known
in the abominable regions and ca
boosal, kerdap!'
When Bob was young man he
paid, or tried to pay court to the
lovely daughter of Captain Jim. 1t
was nuts for the captain, but gall for
the girl. She could not get rid Of
him by fair means, so she resorted to
foul. In spreading up the bed in
which Bob was to sleep, she spread
underneath the sheet basket of dry
holly leaves. The holly leaf, it will
be remembered, has several thorns
or briars on it which prick like pins.
When Bob lay down that night he
found out that he was not ION fowery
beds of ease,' but rather on one of
sore discomfort. In relating the es-
capade he said:
Il let you know, sir, I lit in, and
before you could say Jack Robertson,
lit OUT
When commercial fertilizers first
appeared upon the market, farmers
bought them carefully. Bob bought
~one bag, which was 200 pounds, and
was pleased with results. In relating
his experience with it he said:
| t.root1o,oon 7 rcod q whO1o haC