The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1912-06-20
When the Colonel Was a Coward. |.


When the Colonel Was a Coward.
Kentucky, oh! Kentucky,
The land where l was born;
Where the corn is full of kernels;
And the colonels full of corn!'
Unfortunately Kentucky is not the
only place where the colonels, and
even the privates fill up sometimes
on corn juice. I knew colonel once
who got full to overdowing and at
times he reminded me of Scott's sea
captain, Nauty Ewart of the Jump
ing Jenny, never drunk but seldom
sober, and yet he was all right other
ways, and was as brave as any man.
During the four years of the war, he
made a record. Here it is. At Bull
Run he saw the Yankee army shat
tered into fragments, and he was in
the thicBest of the fight. At Seven
Pines for two days he saw the Union
and Confederate soldiers slain by the
thousands. Then at Oak Grove,
Mechanicsville, and Gaines's Mill
the colonel fought with the fury of a
Richard of the Lion Hearted. Then
at Savage's Station and Frazier s
Farm the colonel was at the front
from start to finish. Then he took
part in the fearful carnage at Nal
yern Hill. In the mighty charge at
this famous battle the colonel took
part. In fact for the seven days in
which the above battles were fought
the colonel was on duty nearly all the
time. At the second battle of Ma
nassas our colonel was there and took
part in this bloody engagement, fight
ing like Marshal Ney in his best
days. At Chautilly, fearful day OF
carnage on both sides, he shouted for
Joy when a hard earned victory was
won by the boys in grey. Then at
Antietam, when our colonel looked
upon ten thousand "blue coats dead
upon the field, he was proud to know
that he was at the front. Then with
Stuart our colonel dashed into nor
thern parts and captured Chambers
burg, flanked the entire Yankee army
and got back safe and sound on
Southern soil again. And at Chan
cellorsville he took part in Jackson's 8
famous charge. He took part in the
fearful field of Gettysburg. He as
sisted in trying to take both Great
and Little Round Tops, the very key
to the Union army. And when Pick
EFT, like the Light Brigade at Ba-
laklava, made his famous charge, the
grandest and most awful military
achievement known to the Western
COWARDLY COL. b S GAL NO 2 -.
world-when he went down into
what we may justly name the vale of
death, our colonel was there, and
when the drama was closed, he look
ed down upon thirty thousand of his
noble comrades cold in death. Then
at'Appomattox when 'fnis' was writ
ten upon the stars and bars, when
the light of the Confederate cause
went out with a feeble dutter-when
the immortal Lee laid down his
sword. our colonel too exchanged his
own for a parole, buttoned his grey
Jacket about him, and started home
ward, yet in all this time of carnage
he had never shown a white feather.
The colonel came home and went
about his planting as bravely as he
ever charged Yankee battlements,
and in due course of time took unto
himself a wife and still later on ne
learned how to use corn juice.
Sometimes when our own colonel
would tank up too tight, and fear
ing a matrimonial minuet, he would
walk over to neighbor Jim's till his
convivial moments had passed away.
One very cold, very dark, and very
rainy night the colonel had took sew
eral drops too much, and he was
aware of it, so he concluded to walk
over to Jim's. In going there the
colonel got lost, and finding out that
he really was lost, he cried out for
help. Jim heard his call, lighted a
lantern, and went out to hunt the
colonel. Now, Jim went in every di-
rection possible, but he could find
no trace of the colonel, so he return
ed home, and to his amazemert he
heard the colonel's call again, and
the second time he went forth to as
sist the colonel, and to his surprise
nothing could be found or heard of
the colonel.
In the meantime the colonel mis-
took Jim and his lantern for Jack
and his lantern. He was not afraid