The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-22
Snaiix!i
Them's WhOt Bill Hepburn Our Ar
tistick Blacksmith Has Got at
Present, but Not so Menny of
en- as He Did Have a Few
Days Ago

Last Saturday Bill Hepburn, our ar
tistick blacksmith, made his ushual trip
to the Co. seat and got full as full as
heretofore or fuller, if anything. To
make matters worse Bill had been
drinkin' pretty heavy for several days
before he started. The first of last
week he made a trip down to Snake
Bend to collect a bill of a dollar owed
to him by Lem Quigley for blacksmith
ing. Bill askt Lem if it would be con-
venient to pay him over that doller,
being as it had run on and on for five
years, and Bill said he would like to
collect it before he forgot all about it
or before it was o%utlawed, if possible.
Lem told Bill that he didn't have no
doller by him and hadn't saw a doller
for so long that like as not he wouldn't
recognize one if he seen it rollin up
hill, but Lem said he had some choice
old two-year-old hard cider down in his
cellar and if Bill was a mind to he
would give him a 2-gal jug of that in
std of the money and they would call
the debt squared up.
Bill told Lem that since he had men,
toned about the hard cider he (Bil)
calkilated he would a site ruther have
it than the money, and to fill up the jug
at once, being as he had walked fur
and had a thirst in his throat which
water couldn't squench.
Lem, he went and filled the jug and
brought it out to Bill and Bill he tilted
it up and took a awful pull outen the
jug and then put the corn cob back into
the neck and starred to walk home.
Before he went very fur Bill was
walking all over the road, as you might
say. Then along come Pete Wilkins
from tother direckshion with a four
boss load of lumber on his way to the
Snake Bend sawmill. When Pete zen
Bill approaching and occupying the
whole entire road he hollered at Bill
and asked him to turn out, but Bill hol-
Tered back and told Pete to turn out his
self if he wanted anybody to turn out,
and if he didn't feel like doing that to
jest kindly git down often the seat and
he (Bill) would wallop the ground up
with him.
Pete he didn't want no trouble with
Bill if he could help it, being as him
and Bill did have a squabble two years
ago when Bill was in Ticker, and on that
auspishious occasion Bill handled Pete
in SIGH a manner that when he was done
with him Pete couldn't see daylight
outen one eye and precious little scenery
outen tother one, besides having his
nose smashed and a handful of his whis-
kers pu1d out into the bargain
So Pete he turned out into the ditch
as Bill could pass and Bill went on
zig-zagging lords Bingville and a-sing-
ing songs which there wasn't no tune
to. Pete said afterwards he didn't
givin' a man afoot free passin'
room on the highway, but he hated like
thunderashion to see a person make SIGH
a hog of theirself as to make a four
boss team with a load of lumber turn
out to let them git by.
Bill staggered into Bingville that same
afternoon and KEEP right at that 2-gals.
Of hard cider day after day. He wasn't
fit to be in his shop. CORN
Smiley took his horse to Bill to be shod
and blamed if Bill didn't go and nail