Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-27
A MEMORY OFF LONG AGO.
DO NOT -ExPECTORATE
ON THE FLOOR
III YOU EXPECT no RATE
AS A GENTLEMAN.

IF YOU EXPECT TO RATE
;: AS A Gf;NTLEMAN.
WHAT ARE YOU KILLING ABOUT?
OF course. you may have suffered A
little from the Jun heat. but 1T
might have been ii whole lot worse.
Suppose you had to bake bread all
day for a family NJ nine kids and all
yolr wife had to do was to sit around
and smoke IL corncob pipe and give
advice.
You might be a fireman on a battle
ship where it is 147 in the shade night
and day.
Then. think OF the man who has
spent the day soldering IA tin roof i'm
the blazing sun. How would YOU like
that?
Wouldn't it be great to have a job
painting a church steeple: Lots of
men are doing that kind of work.
Surprising you had to work in Il
gravel pit all day with the sun beating
down on your head.
Then, there is the party who drives
the coal wagon How would you like
to trade jobs with him?
This is saying nothing of he poor
baseball player who has to get out and
Work his head off while other folks are
lying in hammocks and drinking lem
Onade.
REALLY yOu w NC vi
yourself.
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.
Miss Pansy Tibbitts, who has aiken
up china painting. has got the artistic
temperament SO bad that she only does
her hair up once q week and Is learn
ing to smoke cigarettes.
GONE wimmen have u great head fer
business. The last time Miss Perkins,
.our poetess of passion, was down to
the city she saved 3 cents on -four yards
Of dress goods at a bargain sale and
ruined a $25 gown and a picther hat
doin' 1t.
Some men join all lodges in sight
while others work for a Twin.
There are very few WINNIE in these
parts who will admit that they saw
the Midway Plaisance at the worlds
fair In Chicago. They can't remember
back SO far.
A good many kids are spoiled by bein'
allowed to drive automobiles at the age
when they should be drivin' cows.
Most mantcures work like nailers,
and. by gravy. that's what they are.
No wonder they have to have an
Englishman for king of Greece. All
the real Greeks are in this country
running shoe shining parlors.
l never heered OF a Teller. that smoked
q cOrncOb pipe cOmmittin' n murder, at
least while he was smokin' 1t.
Speaktn' Of the most useless thing in
the world. I think 1t ia one OF them
wooden hams that hangs in the meat
market.
Hank Purdy says he always hated
to go to a matinee. 1t breaks up the
afternoon so.
1t seems strange, but most of the
.fellers with curly hair are around SELL
Ing corn salve or starting some new re-
liGiOn.
The best way I know of to start a
family Jar IL to begin picking our paint
for the house from one of those colored
cards.
One Of the most aggravatin' jobs on
record 10 counting new $50 bills in the
United States treasury.
Hi Perkins has travelled almost con-
stAntly the past Ave years but he amt
9 much OF the country. He Is con-
ductor ON a car down to The city.
The poorest tenor singers are the
ones that always sing the most.
Anne Htlliker 10 getting the machine
In shape 10 his wife can run 1t this
ummer. It 10 q Light Running Do
me0tic.
Elmer Jones invited Deacon Stubbs
Wy Elmer - n OF the best ear play
or0Finsth3s. partaOf the country. hut the
beacon q that II q lie, for Elmer
didn't play with his ear, but with his
banda the same ~ any other pianner
slayer.
Attorney General Wickersham al
WAYS sounds to me q rood deal like
1mltati0n porch furniture.
There isn't . wOrnan who an drive
: nail Or n who can drive a bar
ealn.
There are two ways to win atten-
toOnstn this country. One way n to
ske rejected president and the other way
lestosb e:a prize aghter.s
The .wrttefs Of this country are di-
enO nAsknra md thOa0 WIN No. Ur~-