davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02
Copyright, Oy Reilly & BrittOn Coz

| wen, I reckon not. Git back; don
you tech EN-; you amt OF 'nough to
have EN-
Billy's head was swathed in a huge,
white cloth; his usually lean little
cheeks were pulled out till he resem-
bled young hippOpotamus, and his
pretty gray eyes were almost invisible.
You better git way f'om me an
don't tech EN-, like I tells you," he re-
iterated. Aunt Minerva say you amt
never had EN- an she say fer me TO
make you keep way f'om me cause
you amt OF chile like what I is"
You amt but six" retorted angry
Jimmy, and III be six next month:
you all time trying to 'suade little boys
to think you're bout a million years
old You bout the funniest looking
kid they is"
Billy Electrically touched a dfstend-
ed cheek. These here is mumps," he
said impTessively; "an' when you GOT
EN- you can make grown folks do per-
! zactly what you want EN- to. Aunt
Minerva s in the kitchen right now
maxim me 'lasses custard If I'll be
good an stay right in the house an
don't come out here in the yard an
don't give you the mumps. Course 1
can't tech that Custard now cause |
done come out here an it amt homer
Bile; but she's maxim it jes' the same.
You better git way f'om me an not
| tech EN-; you too little to have EN-"
Are they easy to ketch?" asked the
ether little boy eagerly; femme jest
tech EN- one time, Billy"
Cit way, I tell you" warned the
| latter with a superior air To increase
Jimmy's envy he continued: Grown
folks tries to see how nice they can be
| to chillens what's got the mumps. Aunt
Minerva amt been impedent to me to-
| day; she lemme do jest bout like I
please; it sho' is one time you can
| make grown folks step lively" He
looked at Jimmy meditatively ct sho'
is plumb pity you amt a OF chile
like what I is an can't have the
! mumps. Don't you come amp cIOster to
me-" he again warned, you too little
to have EN-"
l IL give you nYe p6We6S II you IL
femme tech EN- SOS 1 can get 'em, .
pleaded the younger boy.
Billy hesitated. You mighty lit
tie" he began.
And my stoney," said the other
child eagerly.
If you was OF boy" said Billy,
1T wouldn't make no difunce; I don't
want to make yo' ma mad an Aunt
Minerva say for me to keep way rom
you any how, though 1 didn't make her
no promises =
Jimmy grew angry.
You're the stingiest Peter they is,
William HILL, he cried; won't let no.
body tech your old mups. My cousin
in Memphis s got the measles; you
just wait till I git EN-"
Billy eyed him critically.
If you was OIL" he was beginning.
Jimmy thought he saw signs of his
yielding.
And III give you my china egg,
too he quickly proposed.
Well, jest one tech" agreed Billy;
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02

Come. William" she called. Z am
waiting for you"
Jimmy went back to his own porch
and the other boy joined his kinswo-
man
Why wouldn't Jimmy Gomez" she
asked.
'He-he amt feeling very wen.' p
was the eonsiderate rejoinder.
Once there was a little boy who
was born in Virginia" began Miss
Minerva.
Born in a manger," repeated the
inattentiye little boy to himself, 4
knows who that was" So, this impor-
tant question settled in his mind, he
gave himself UP to the full enjoyment
Of his chum and to the giving and re-
ceiving secret signals, the pleasure Of
which was decidedly enhanced by the
fear of imminent detection.
Father. I cannot tell a lie, I did it
with my little Ratchet" read the
thin, monotonous voice at his elbow
Billy laughed aIoud-at that minute
Jimmy was standing on his head wav-
ing two chubby feet in the air
William" said his aunt reprovingly,
peering at him over her spectacIes, L
don't see anything to laugh at,-and
she did not, but then she was in ignor-
ance of the little conspiracy.
He was good and dutiful son and
he studied his lessons so well that
when he was only seventeen years old
he was employed to survey vast tracts
of land in Virginia"
Miss Minerva emphasized every
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02

You can do perzactly Ike you
please when you got the mumps.' in,
sinuated Jimmy. who had seemingly
allied himself with Billy as a partner
in business; grown folks bound to do
what little boys want EN- to when you
got the mumps''
key increased his bid By the stub
Of a lead pencil, but it was not until he
had parted with his most cherished
pocket possessions that he was at last
allowed to place a gentle finger on the
protuberant cheek.
Two little girls with their baby-bug-
gies were seen approaching.
C way from here, Frances. you and
Lima, howled Jimmy. Don't you come
in here; me and Billy 8 got the mumps
and you-all r little girls and ought
n to have 'em. Don't you come near
us; they re ketching.
The two little girls Immediately
opened the gate, crossed the yard, and
stood in front Of Billy. They inspected
him with admiration; he bore their
critical survey with affected unconcern
and Indifference, as beftted one who
had attained such prominence.
Don't tech EN-" he commanded
waving them off as he leaned grace
fully against the fence.
Il teched EN-, boasted the younger
boy. Whatn you all give US If We
II let you put your finger on 'em?"
81 amt a-goin' to charge little girls
nothin'" said the gallant Billy, as he
proffered his swollen jowl to each in
turn.
A little darkey riding big black
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02

yuh? What dat y all got now?" AS
she drew nearer a smile Of recognition
and appreciation overspread her big
good-natured face. Then she burst
into loud, derisive laugh. What y
all gwine to do wild Miss Minerals old
bustIe?" she inquired "Y' all sho' am
de contaritest chillens in dis here cop
peration."
"BustIe?" echoed Billy. What s a
bustle?"
"Dat-ar s a bustle-dat s what s a
hustle. Ladies useto wear EN- cause
dey so stylish to make they dresses
stick out in the back. Come on home,
Jimmy, fore yuh ketch de yaller jandis
er de epizootics; yo' ma toP yuh to
stay right at home"
well, m coming, amt I?'' scowled
the little boy Mama need MT to
know nothing 'thout you tell
Would you take yo' mama's pres
ent now, Jimmy?" asked Billy; you
amt earnt it"
Would Mt you?" asked Jimmy,
doubtfuIly.
Nav, I would Mt, 'thout toP her. 3"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02

horse was gaIloping by; Jimmy hailed
and halted him.
you better go fast" he shrieked.
me and Billy and Frances and Lina's
got the humps and you amt got no
business to have 'em cause you re
niger, and you better take your horse
to the lib'ry stable cause he might
ketch 'em, too"
The negro boy dismounted and
hitched the horse to the fence. Il
gotter little tarrapim-" he began in
sinuatingly.
And thus it came to pass that there
was an epidemic of mumps in the lit
tie town of COvington, and William
Green Hill grew rich in marbles, in
tops, in strings, in toads, in chewing
gum, and in many other things which
comprise the pocket treasures Of little
boys.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02
CHAPTER XIII.
The Infant Mind Shoots.

Miss Minerva had bought book for
Billy entitled Stories of Great and
Good Men," which she frequently read
to him for his education and improve
ment. These stories related the prin-
cipaI events in the lives Of the heroes
but never mentioned any names, al
ways asking at the end, Can you tell
me who this man WASP
Her nephew heard the stories so
often that he had some expression or
incident by which he could Identify
each, without paying much attention
while she was reading.
He and his aunt had just settled
themselves on the porch for reading.
Jimmy was on his own porch cutting
up funny capers, and making faces for
the other child's amusement.
"Lemme go over to Jimmy's, Aunt
Minerva" pleaded her nephew, IAN
you can read to me tonight I'd a
heap ruther not hear you read right
now 1t II make my belly ache"
Miss Minerva looked at him severe
ly.
William" she enjoined, don't you
want to be a smart man when you
grow up?"
Yes, m" he replied, without much
enthusiasm. We'll, jes' lemme ask
Jimmy to come over here an set on
the other slider you willis you read. He
amt never hear bout them tales, an
l spec he d like to come"
Very well, replied his fattered and
gratified relative, call him over"
Billy went to the fence, where he
signaled Jimmy to meet him.
Aunt Minerva say you come over
an listen to her read some er the pref
ties tales you ever hear" he said, as
if comforting a great favor
NAV, sirree-bob!" was the impolite
response across the fence, them bout
the measltest tales they Is I'll come
if she II read my Uncle Remus book
Please come on begged Billy, drop
ping the patrOnizing manner that he
had assumed, in hope of inducing his
chum to share his martyrdom. You
know Aunt Minerva d die in her
tracks fore she d read Uncle Remus.
You II like these-here tales mother
sight better anyway. I II give you
my stoney If you'll come"
Nav: you amt going to get me in
no such box as that. If she d just
read seven or eight hours I would Mt
mind; but she II get you where she
wants you and read bout a million
hours. know Miss Minerva
BiIly's aunt was growing impatient.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02
ALMOST CRAZY WITH ECZEMA

Il, the undersigned, cannot give
enough praise to the Cuticura Rem
edies. l had been doctoring for at
least year for eczema on my foot.
had tried doctor after doctor all to
no avail. When a young girl sprained
my ankle three different times, paving
little or no attention to it, when five
years ago a small spot showed upon
my left ankle. I was worried and sent
for doctor. He said it was eczema.
He drew a small bone from the ankle
about the size of a match and about
an inch long. The small hole grew
to about the size of an apple, and the
eczema spread to the knee. The doc
tors never could heal the hole in the
ankle. The whole foot ran water all
the time
MY husband and my sons were up
night and day wheeling me from one
room to another in the hope of giving
me some relief. I would sit for hours
at a time in front of the fireplace
hoping for daybreak The pain was
so intense I was almost crazy in fact,
| would lose my reason for hours at
a time. One day a friend of mine
dropped in to see me. No more had
she glanced at my foot than she ex-
claimed: Mrs. Finnegan, why in the
world don't you try the Cuticura Rem
eldest Being disguised with the doc
tors and their medicines, and not be-
ing able to sleep at all, l decided to
give the Cuticura Soap and Cuticura
Ointment a trial After using them
three days that night I slept as sound
as silver dollar for eight long hours.
I awoke in the morning with but very
little pain, in fact, l thought | was
in heaven. After using the Cuticura
Remedies for three months l was per
fectly restored to health, thanks to
the Cuticura Soap and Ointment. I
will be sixty-four years of age my
next birthday, hale and hearty at pres
emit" tSigned) Mrs. Julia Finnegan,
1884 Hebert St, st. Louis, Mo, Mar.
7, 1911 Although Cuticura Soap and
Ointment are sold by druggists and
dealers everywhere, sample of each,
with 32-page book, will be mailed
free on application to "Cuticura."
Dept. L, Boston.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02

Billy sul!enly gave her the promise
and she went back to her baking.
That s always the way now" he
said. meeting his little neighbor ar the
fence, ever since Aunt Minerva got
onto this-here promisin business, I
don have no freedom t all. It s VIII
liam, promise me this an it s VIII
liam, don't forget yo' promise now,
tell s jes' plumb sick n tired Of it.
She know I amt goin' back on my
word an she jes' nachelly gifts the
vantage Of me; she bout the hardest
oman to manage I ever seen sence
I s born
4 can nearly all time make my
mama do anything most if I JUS
keep on trying and keep on a-begging, -
Dragged the other boy; q just say
May I, mama?' and she II all time
say, No, go way from me and lemme
lone and just keep on, May I
mama? May I. mama? May !, mama p
and toreckly she II say, Yes, go on
and femme read in peace"
Aunt Minerva won't give in much. -
said Billy. when she say No, Will
liam, t amt no use t all to beg her;
you jest wastin' yo' breath. When she
put her foot down it got to go just like
she say; she sho' do like to have her
own way better n any oman l ever
see"
She bout the mannishest woman
they is agreed Jimmy. "She got
you under her thumb, Billy l don
see what womans re made TO if you
can't beg EN- into things. I would MT
let no old spunky Miss Minerva get
the best of me that way. Come on,
anyhow"
Nav, I can't come" was the
gloomy reply; "if she d jest tol' me
not to, l couldn'er went, but she made
me promise, an I amt never goin'
back On my word. You come over to
see me-"
i can't" came the answer across
the fence; Il m earning me a baseball
mask. I done already earnt me a mitt.
My mama don't never make me prom
ise her nothing, she just pays me to
to get 'ligion and go to the mourner's
bench. She s gone mp town now and
if l don't go outside the yard while
she S gone, she s going to gimme a
baseball mask. You got a ball what
you bringed from the plantation, and
I II have bat and mitt and mask
and we can play ball some. Come on
over just little while; you amt earn
ing you nothing like what I'm do
ing"
Nav; l promis' her not to an I
amt ever goin' to break my promise"
We'll, then, Mr.. Promiser," said
Jimmy, go get your ball and We'll
th'ow cross the fence. l can't find
mine"
Billy kept his few toys and play
things in closet, which was full of
old plumber. AS he reached for his
ball something fell at his feet from a
shelf above. He picked 1t up, and ran
excitedly into the yard.
Look, Jimmy" he yelled, there s a
baseball mask l found in the closet"
Jimmy, forgetful of the fact that he
was to be paid for staying at home,
Immediately rolled over the fence and
ran eagerly toward his friend They
examined the article in question with
great care.
1T looks perzactly like mask"
announced Jimmy after thorough in
spection, "and yet it don't" He tried
it on. 1T don't seem to fit your face
right" he said
Sarah Jane was bearing down upon
them. Come back home dis minute,
Jimmy - she shrieked, want to ketch
some mo- contagious 'seases, don't
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02
GREATEST LESSON OF LIFE
The One Thing Above All That
Woman Should Be Quick 20 Learn
and Remember

The woman who makes good must
oe blessed with strength and health,
and an ambition to learn and take ad-
vantage of every opportunity that
comes her way. She must work with
all her heart and play with all her
heart; above all things avoiding in
difference.
Hers is the temperament that rec
ognizes that encouragement is all
nice and pretty, but if one is going to
do the thing that counts one doesn't
need it; that refuses to be dismayed
by repeated failures and that has a
certain faith that what has been done
by many may be done by another.
that nobody goes through life with
out disappointments, heartaches anG
the breaking of pet illusions; that
there is nothing more common than
trouble, but that it is the wise ones
of earth that keep it In the back
ground. That's the great lesson of
life.-Exchange
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02
Must Have Had Money.

Having learned that his friend had
just married, Jacob decided to pay
him a visit. When he arrived at his
friends house and saw the bride he
was terribly shocked.
why, Joseph" he said, speaking in
a whisper, for the bride was sitting
near by. "she Is not at all good look
ing"
NO." answered Joseph.
and she has a glass eye"
yes" answered Joseph meekly.
Joseph" whispered Jacob again,
"she has no teeth"
she will get a set next week"
"She is almost bald too" added ia
cob, still whispering.
"You may speak louder, Jacob" said
his friend, "she is deaf too"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02
An Infant Cuvier

Miss Griggs easily induced the
wealthy Mrs. May TO let her son Fred
die join the vacation class in naturaJ
history that she was organizing for
children
I'm sure he'll love IT." said Mrs.
May, with surprising enthusiasm
And you will find that he knows a
lot about natural history already"
Indeed! That is very pleasant"
murmured Miss Grlggs, vaguely, for
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02
THANKSGIVING PSALM
A RhythmIcal and Grateful Chant.

A teacher in d Terre Haute public
school joins in the chorus:
Teaching is business which re-
quires a great deal Of brain and nerve
force. Unless this force is renewed as
fast as expended the teacher is ex-
hausted before the close of the year.
Many resort to stimulating tones for
relief.
For 8 years struggled against al
most complete exhaustion. getting
what relief l could from doctors ton
les. Then in the spring of 1908 1
had an attack of la grippe and ma
laria which left me too weak to con
tinue my work Medicine failed to
give me any relief, change of eli
mate failed. I thought I should never
be able to go back in scgool again.
7 ate enough food (the ordinary
meats-white bread, vegetables, etc.
but was hungry after meals.
= happened at this time to read an
article giving the experience of an
other teacher who had been helped by
Grape-Nuts food I decided to try
~ 81 ES-ANtAkS anu NAS0AAls GtS OH SAECAA I
ment. 1t was a delightful experience,
and continues so after a year and
half of constant use.
First, I noticed that I was not
hungry after meals.
In a few days that tired feeling left
me, and I felt fresh and bright, in
stead Of dull and sleepy.
In three months, more than my usual
strength returned, and I had gained Is
pounds in weight.
4 finished the years work without
any kind OF tonics-was not absent
from duty even half a day.
Am still in best of health, with
all who know me wondering at the i'm
provement
Il tell them all Try Grape-Nutsi' >,
Name given by Postum Co.. Battle
Creek, Mich. There's a reason"
Ever read the above IetterF A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full OF human
Interest.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02
CHAPTER xx!.-continued.

':NaTs amt neither" objected the
male member Of the chain-gang, 81
done cut my woman with a razor
cause I see her racking down the
street like a proud coon with another
gent, like what Sarah James brother
telled me he done at the picnic
The children played happily together
for half an hour. Billy and Lima com
handing, and the prisoners, entering
thoroughly into the spirit Of the game,
according prompt obedience to their
bosses. At last the captives wearied
Of their role and ClamOred for an eX-
change of parts.
"AII right" agreed Lima. Get the
key, Billy, and we II be the chain
gang"
Billy put his right hand in his pocket
but found no key there; he tried the
other pocket with the same success;
he felt in his blouse, he looked in his
cap, he jumped up and down, he near
ly shook himself to pieces all without
avail; the key had disappeared as if
by magic.
q berlieve y all done los that
key" concluded he.
Maybe it dropped on the ground, .
said Frances.
They searched the yard over, but
the key was not to be found.
well, if that amt just like you,
Billy" cried Jimmy, you all time per-
posing to play chain-gang and you all
time lose the key"
Lima grew indignant
you proposed this yourself, Jimmy
Garner" she said; we never would
have thought Of playing chain-gang
but for you"
1T looks like we can't never do any
thing at all" moaned Frances,
'"thout grown folks We got to know
bout it."
yes, and laugh fit to pop theirselfs
Open," said her felow-prisoner. 81
can't never pass by Owen Gibbs and
Len Hammer now 'thout they laugh
just like idjets and grin just like pole
cats"
4 amt never hear tell Of a poIe-cat
GRIMM" corrected Billy, che jes smell
worser n what a billy goat do"
1T is Glossy cats that grim" ex-
planned Lima
Look like folks would get EN- a lot
Of pOle-cats stead O. chiIIens always
hafto be wearing assfetty bags round
their makes, so s they can keep off
whooping cough" said Frances.
You can't wear a pole-cat roun' yo'
make, grinned Billy.
'And Len Hammer all time now ask
ing me-" Jimmy continued, when I'm
going to wear Sarah James co'set to
Sunday school Grown folks bout the
lunatickest things they is. Amt you
going to unlock this chain, Billy2" he
demanded
What got to unlock it with?''
asked Billy.
AS Jimmy's father was taking the
crestfallen chain-gang to the black
smith shop to have their letters re-
moved, they had to pass by the livery
stable; and Sam Lamb, bent double
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02

she was not prepared for scientific at
talnments in spoiled boy OF five.
Yes" said Mrs. May, complacentIy.
ever since Freddie was a baby the
chef has made all his blanc-mange in
the shape of rabbits and squirrels, and
only lately he has begun to make him
marshmallow frogs and chickens and
turtles. and Freddie simply worships
thm-you can't get him to touch any
thing In a plain mold
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02
WOMEN AND HEALTH.

Women are beginning to realize
more fully that good health is not to
be found in the use OF cosmetics and
face powders. The appearance OF
health may follow facial treatment,
but health itself lies much deeper than
the surface.
Most important 20 the health Of eT-
cry woman is regularity Of the bowels
and digestive organs. The weary
eyes, lad breath, frequent headaches,
pimpIes and general air Of lassitude,
is in most every case due to colsti-
patton or indigestion, or both. There
are various remedies prescribed for
this condition, but the easiest, most
pleasant and certainly effective, is
a combination of simple laxative
herbs with pepsin known to druggists
as DR.. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin. This
simple remedy is far preferable TO
harsh salts and cathartics and violent
purgative waters that disturb the
whole system without affording more
than temporary relief.
Dr. Caldweu's Syrup Pepsin Is q
tonic laxative, mild in its action
pleasant to the taste and positive in
its effect, strengthening the muscles
of stomach and bowels SO that after
a short time these organs regain the
power to perform their natural func-
tons without assistance.
DR.. CaIdwelI's Syrup Pepsin is sold
By druggists everywhere in SOC and
$100 bottles. If you have never tried
it, write for a sample to DR.. W. B.
Caldwell, 2O1 Washington St., Month
cello, Ill; he will gladly send a trial
bottle without any expense to you
whatever.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02
Birds Are Early RIsers.

He was an affable young man and
DESTROYS of demonstrating his kindly
and genial disposition So when the
canary bird chirped sleepily from its
cage on the wall he spoke up cheer
lily.
What's the matter, bird?" he in
quired
The girl glanced at him with a
dreamy smile. She was a southern
girl. and she spoke with a gentle
drawI.
He thinks it's mawnin' " she cooed.
The man who loves birds hasn't
been back.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-05-02

guests into the parlor, while he made
hasty tracks for the gas range neigh
borhood and kissed the cook again,
privately.
We'll. how about everything, little
woman. Got all the stuff together?"
SYe-yes, dear" replied small Mrs
B. with just a shade of reservation in
her voice. I've got the crown of chops
and the peas and salad-oh, a beeee-
autifuI salad-and I've baked some
little biscuits! There's only one thing
I simply couldn't get q do hope you
aren't too disappointed), for l went