davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13
Alexander Bluffs Ajax In nymeneaI Mix-Up

A LEX Power and Ajax Tobey, two
IA leading members of the colored
back alley 400. who were related by
marriage, inasmuch as Alex had led
Atax's sister to the hymeneal altar
and promised to provide board and
lodging for the rest Of her natural
days, were arraigned before Judge
Douglas of the police court on a
number of charges ranging from
"cussing" to "scrapping."
The statement made by Alex was,
that the lightning defer invaded his
domicile and in the presence Of his
copper colored spouse had used Ian
gauge of a very tabascoitic variety
Alex further testified that he had pick
ed up a stick of stove wood with
which he persuaded Ajax to desist.
Unlike his famous prototype, who de-
fed the unseen, Ajax wilted when he
saw that piece of timber In the mus
:ular hands of the brawny Alexander,
and beat it. He didn't take time to
leave by the door, but jumped out of
the back room window, which, in his
precipitate flight he did not stop to
open. The result was disastrous-to
he window-and the smoky Ajax
sought protection of the police.
What brought about the difficulty
laeried the Highland chiettain, who
ls presiding over the police court in
The absence of Judge Hugo (to) L.
DE langwidge dat niger used was
lie wust ali is ever head"
What did he say?"
HE say d-n an h-ll an er heap
lc' SIGH words"
What did you say?"
wat did ali say, why ledge I tor
him dat ah'ed W-ned If ah'ed stand
nit, an dat ali would give him HI If
ne didn't quit"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13
Woe Confronts Women Golfers With High Heels

rHICAGO-The French heel, the
~ military heel, the Cuban and all
the other leather prongs Of fashion
have been Disseminated against by
the South Park commissioners in f.
vor Of the low squat, broad, common
place heel-that it,. on the Jackson
Park golf course.
Hundreds of women are complain
ing Of the new rule. But the neigh
boring cobblers regard it as dis
pensation Of Providence and are writ
ing for catalogues of the 1913 model
automobiles.
The park commissioners, who have
no soul for art and no eyes for beau
tiful heels, are enforcing this rule only
for the sake of their horrid old golf
links, say the women.
Six hundred owners of fancy heels
the other day were refused admission
to the course, and almost every one Of
them went to the nearest cobbler to
have the offending three inches or so
Of leather cut down to the regula-
ton three-quarters Of an inch.
There were many protests from
women who hesitated between their
love for the game and appearance.
But I can't wear low heels" COM
planned one. "You see, I have such
patrician instep, and those squat heels
might cripple me-"
rs this too HIGH" inquired another
golf fan, exhibiting an inch of heel
shaped on the general order Of tooth
pick. i've had it cut down already,
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13
Capital City Post Office Cats Always on lob

GA RE the post-onlce employees here
n doing their duty?"
YES" said Postmaster N. A. Mer-
rift CURLY.
How about the cats?" he was
asked.
They are on the job, too"
Then Mr.. Merritt stopped to con-
slider whether Washington had any
cats on the official pay roll or not. He
wasn't sure, but insisted that they
we're working overtime, provided they
were recognized civil service en-
ployes. 30.
Whereupon, a copy of a scanda-
lous report concerning Philadelphia
cats was shown to him.
Philadelphia has had her post-office
supplied with collection Of high
class cats. As soon as these cats re-
ported for duty at Uncle Sans office
there they Immediately contracted q
bad case of Philadelphia hookworm.
Although on the official pay roll, 20
runs the story, they fell into line,
formed union, and announced them
selves old-time Philadelphia conserve
ives. The mice have recovered from
heir SCARE and the cats are taking
graft. r =, " . a." 10. 90
.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

An immediate investigation was or
dered at which Assistant Postmaster
Louis Robinson presided. Testimony
was to the credit o. the local ONCE,
and developed the following facts:
No highly cultured civil.servico cats
were on the register. No cats of any,
kind had ever sought Official appoint-
ment, though some were on tie Job.
II any cat crusader ever finds his
way on duty bent into the postomce
he most likely will be lynched. The
post-omce cats have good records, and
count their friends by the omcial reg
lister Ct
When summoned before the inyes-
tigating COMMITTEES. the cats did not
come. IT, ~ - rat. 8 "a S..
: Always hustling IN the interest OF
the service" chuckls1 The division
chial &. 81 ~. 3 ~,
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

I OS ANGELES, CAL.-When is a lap
Il dog? Lap dogs are carried free
Of charge on Los Angeles street cars,
and the rule defines the limits and
boundaries Of such a canine as lone
which may be carried in the arms and
kept in the lap In such a way that
other passengers will not be annoped."
or words to that effect.
She" came from somewhere out
yonder and when the Arcade station
was clear of her ample bulk there was
SO much room left that the waiting
room looked like a church on Tuesday
afternoon.
She had dog with her. A dog
built upon good, old-fashioned sub
stantial lines, long, low and rakish
and a leg on each corner; zoologi-
cal specimen weighing perhaps so
pounds. All know every dog has his
day. The animal had a kindly, open
countenance-it was open anyway
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13
THINKS MARKETING one OF LOST ARTS

Many influential and prominent
women of New York city are actively
cooperating with the city commission
In furthering the adopted plan for the
creation of public markets. Among
the most enthusiastic, who is wager.
ing a systematic campaign for the Gre
alton Of such a system, IS Mrs. Elmer
Black, the international peace advo-
cate.
"Our plan now before the city au'
thorities is a feasible one," said Mr..
briggs, "and one which both Mr.. Mil.
Ter and myself have given months OF
study to after long investigation OF the
subject in this and other countries.
We are asking for five blocks, conven'
lent to all lines of transportation, IN
Little West Twelfth street. The land
would cost around $3,500,000 and the
buildings about that much more.
"Such markets are certain effective
ly to reduce the cost of living and at
the same time encourage farming in.
torests Aa II Is noW the actual loss
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13
MAKES BIG GIFT ON KRUPP CENTENARY

In honor of the centenary of the
great Krupp works at Essen the com.
pany has donated $3,500,000 to be dis.
tributed as gratuities to the 10000
workmen, as welfare funds for citizens
of Essen, and for the army and navy.
DR.. Sydow, the Prussian minister OF
commerce, who attended the celebra,
ton, announced that a large number
Of orders would be conferred on Krupp
employees by the emperor.
Frau Bertha Krupp Won Bohlen und
Halbach, the richest woman in Ger.
many, whose wealth is estimated at
$70,000.000, was hostess to kings.
The celebration, for which prepare
lions have been going forward for
nearly two years, was attended by
Emperor William at the head of a
brilliant galaxy Of his fellow German
sovereigns. generals, admirals and
civic dignitaries.
The festivities lasted an entire week
and were of most imposing and
memorable character. The chief fea.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13
VINCENT AS1oR SENDS ROSES TO J. J. VI

According to the announcement CIV
en- out by DR.. Cragin, the Astor family
physician, John Jacob Astor vi. Is get
ting along beautifully. The lusty IN
fant's mother is also doing we'll AS
for the little heir, he is phenomenally
healthy and picking up weight amaz-
ingly.
The servants of the great Aston
mansion at Sixty fifth street and Fifth
avenue continue in state of strenu-
Gus activity receiving presents for
the heir and, multitudes of messages
of congratulations for the mother.
William Vincent Aston acknowl-
edged the arrival of half-brother by
cabling to a Fifth avenue florist to
send Mrs. Astor a magnificent bunch
of American Beauty roses. Other
members c: the Astor family have
also sent flowers and presents.
There was also cablegram from
Vincent Astor congratulating his step
mothe-. The young head of the Amer
lean branch Of the Aston family who
may have a legal cattle on his hands
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

conges
freight
to rot before reaches the market"
Elmer Black study of
declared that the American wants earnestly
and market.
declared Of ribbon
phone o their supplies.
women induced markets. but with
chandlse."
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13
JUDGE SWAMI ON THE INNER CIRCLE"

"They worship no God save graft,
and they bow down at the shrine Of
their idolatry!"
In these words Judge Edward
Swami of the court of general sessions
in New York, summed up the police
situation. Judge Swami has been
careful and patient student of the po-
lice system for many years. He has
upon numerous occasions seen fit to
speak about police matters from the
bench.
He has listened, with. establishment
at times, to the testimony given by
policemen and police detectives at the
trials Of men charged with being COM
mon gamblers. And upon more than
one occasion he has heard the foreman
OF a jury return a verdict of mot
guilty. in gambling cases where the
district attorney had to rely almost ex-
clusively upon the testimony Of po-
licemen and their stool pigeons.
Judge Swami was asked IL in his
opinion and from information that had
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

Let US remark In charity that per-
haps some Of the young women on tho
street never realized how unclothed
they were until they saw it in the pa.
pers.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

The treasury department plans to
make paper money smaller in size,
but not because the ultimate consum-
er Is troubled with enlargement Of the
bank roll.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

Theaters without orchestras? With
out the shivery music, how are we to
know whether the villain is hunting
mushrooms or creeping up to the
sleeping hero to stab him through the
heart?
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

his official
could exist places violation
You cannot make me believe that
ALL length Of time
ao wish to say right here that the police department
honest
policeman
department
There this a
also Theyar
h item
Swami
would believe the testimony given under oath by
speaking myself replied
defendant although felt
with the evidence
II a
with the police department
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

Man In Indiana ate gallon of Ice
cream at single sitting All of which
goes to show how easy it is to break
q record
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

A lingu!st tells US that there are
5000 known dialects. but the lingo an
umpire uses when he announces the
batteries will always be an unfath-
ENABLE mystery.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

Real reform has finally struck
wicked New York The humane So
ciety there Is threatening to prosecute
the owner Of q troupe Of trained fleas
for putting their collars on too tightly.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

IF you want to be beautiful, do
your own washing" says one Of the
doctors. Most women will prefer the
drug store brand of beauty.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

:, Man In Vienna shot himself because
three girls were in love with him.
He was loved not wisely, but too
well.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

Woman up state wants a divorce
because her husband insists on talk
ing politics. This comes under the
head of cruel and inhuman treatment,
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

Archa biologists in Asia have run
across remains Of nation that once
;worshiped the peacock. But the pea.
cock, in all his glory, was not arrayed
as one of these up-to-date damsels.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

A New York woman says she loves
her horses better than she does her
husband. Probably she doesn't drive
them as hard.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

, The mayor Of Boston says that
women know less about flying than
men, They know more, because few.
er Of them are doing it.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

Farmer in Ohio says he owns a cat
with three heads. Think of listening
In the Silly night to a cat with three
voices.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

A cow up York state is said to have
caught fish with her tail, but who
wants to fish with a COW? Fawncy
casting a cow in a trout stream.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

Woman In New York has left all
her money to her lawyer. probably
on the theory that he would get It
anyhow.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

The fear that the price Of shaves
may be fixed under the patent law
need not alarm. There is no law
against whiskers.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

: A Long Island woman eloped the
other day with Hveryman. We sup
posed nverymen had become obso-
1ete.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

The letter.carrier will be glad when
the vacation season with its food Of
foolish post cards is over.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

A scientist says that Cleopatra
would. II now alive, be put in a luna,
tic asylum, but she might put the
alienist there first
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

The recent death Of the 1876 year old
Mexican must have been a happy
one. Think of living 1856 years in
Mexico!
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

However, perhaps we ought to be
glad that the girls are showing ten
dency to wear their own hair in fas-
cinating little punches.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

An aviator fell 200 feet without be-
dng hurt, but this is no proof that
aviation is being made safer.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

That pupil Of aviation who fell 200
feet without being hurt is of the tyne
that should succeed In aviation
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

Eat SIX times a day. If you want
to be healthy, says q New York doc
tor, but not II you would be wealthy,
too.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

! Mans best friend at present is the
electric fan. It is better even than Z
lsnoW-bank.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

II lobster is mot an ANIMAL" what
Us It? You cant classify it either as
n vegetable or az a mineral.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13
Defined,

"Pa, what does it mean when 1t
says man has arrived at years OF
discretion?" 1T means, Johnnie, that
he's too young to die and too old to
have any fun.'-Judge
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13
Speaking by the Card.

Mrs. Taylor-"What's that saying
about the watched pot, Bob? A
watched pot" "Mr. Taylor Cab
sently)-"A watched pot IS seldom
shy"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

A contemporary asks: Can a mar
ried man be hero?" Yes. verify. he
shows his heroism BY marrying.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13
Designating is tho latest addition
to the English vocabulary.

! II you are in favor of pajamas. a
against n1ghties, tell it to the ma
|rines.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

; Speaking of civilization, Chinese
women once crippled their feet but
never wore tight skirts.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

A Missouri woman has written q
book with her toes. Probably it was
made up from footnotes.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

A Philadelphia policeman is going
unto vaudeville. Going to do sleep
walking act, probably.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

II Boston wins the American league
tpennant baked beans will become the
national dish.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

substitution Of
weapons The principal Of the pageant
Macmillan ESQ retired
of the German played the Of Knights
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

What q happy little world this
would be II we could only shovel snow
in the summer time.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1912-09-13

After all, q pennant ia only =,
nag.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-02-01
When Rhymes Come Hard,

Matthew Arnold complained of the
unmusical sound of the names Of many
of his countrymen. But an American
is astonished by the substantial must.
cal quality Of countless English names
A list OF first year" students at one
OF the English colleges for women con.
tains hardly a name that lacks en-.
phony, and May CT them. Ike the
following, are a "treatr to the ear
Laetitia Helen Afford, Alice Sengs
Margaret Bryson, Ethel Muriel Mere
dith. But IS any name quite so musi
cal as Meredith. and has any name 81
ravishing a connotatiou? An Englist
journalist some weeks ago set him
self the task OF finding a rhyme for II
and produced "oUt-Herodeth." which
was clever if not affOrding a perfect
concord.-Detroit Free Press.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-02-01

Mayor Schriver read an ordinance
repeating an ordinance providing for
the improvement of Thirty-eighth'
street in the city of Rock Island, ILL.,,
from the south line of Seventh avenue
to the city limits.
Mayor Schriver offered a resolution
that the ordinance just read, be con-
sidered. Carried by unanimous vote.
Mayor Schriver offered a resolution
that the ordinance just read and con-
sidered be adopted. Carried by unan-
imous vote.
Mayor Schriver offered a resolution
that the city attorney be and is hereby
instructed to dismiss all proceedings
now pending in the county court of
Rock Island county in reference to
the improvement of Thirty-eighth
street from the south line of Seventh
avenue south to the city limits. Car
ried by unanimous vote.
Mayor Schriver offered a resolution
that the city clerk be instructed to
call the election on the question OF
submitting an ordinance giving per-
mission to the Union Electric Tele-
4
phone & Telegraph company to sell
it's telephone plant and appurtenances,
on April 2, 1912, in connection with
the township election to be held on
that date Carried-Ayes: Schriver,
Rudgren, Hart Bear. Nay: Rey-
nolds
Commissioner Rudgren offered a
resolution that the Chicago, Rock Is
land & Pacific Railway company be
allowed the sum of s11 for demurrage
and that the Tri-City Railway com
pany be allowed the sum of IS for
street car tickets for laborers. Car
ried by unanimous vote.
Adjourned on motion CT Ccmm:s
sioner Reynolds.
II. T. RUDGREN,
!. City Clerk.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-02-01

One and oHS-haJ cups Stfted -four; u
Es1se0oafM salt; 3 AezeL teaSpOOnfnkS
K { Baking Poz0dez; 4 cup shorten
ing; about y CUP milk; apples.
Fill the cups of a buttered muffin pan
with pared and sliced apples, sprinkle
with salt and turn two or three table
spoonfu1s of water into each cup. Sift
together. three times, the -four, salt and
baking powder; work in the shortening,
and mix to soft dough with the milk.
Drop the dough from a spoon with the
apples in the cups, givingit smooth ex'
terror. Let bake about twenty-five min
utes. Invert the pan on alarge serving
dish. Put spoonful of hard sauce above
the apple in each dumping and finish
with a grating OF nutmeg.
-rtis is only one of the many new. delicious ana
sppetiziug recipes contained in the Z Cook
BOOK. which may be Obtained free by serdini
the coicred certificate packed in every 2-cen
can Of X Baking Powder to the JAoCEs MIG
Co, Chicago. Be sure TO get the z5-cent size
smaller cans DO not Contain Cooks Book ceT
Ehcates.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-02-01
ELKS CELEBRATE
AN ANNIVERSARY
Last Night Marked Beginning
Of Fifth Year in the Club
House.
HAVE SUMPTUoUs REPAST
Vaudeville and Series of Talks Fol-
low and Evening Proves
Most Enjoyable.

More than $50 Elks gathered round
the festive board at Elks' hall last
night TO celebrate the fourth anniver
sary of the opening OF the present
quarters, and 10 say that the AFFAIR was
an unqualified success would be ex
pressing II mildly. The Bills" gath
cred In the club rooms shortly before
s o'clock and a half hour was devoted
to "howdys" and handshaking. The
big elk which arrived from Des Moines
occupied a position OF honor in the
rooms and was the subject Of great
deal OF favorable comment Abou'
$3.50 the bills" marched to the hal
upstairs, which had been beautifully
decorated for the occasion with palms
potted plants and American flags.
VAUDEVILLE AFTER TALKS.
After the astronomical and speech
making parts were over. a vaudeville
was put on which was a scream from
start to finish. A number Of perform
ers from various theatres in the tri
cities contributed their share to The
general good time, the greatest hit o
the evening. however, being scored b!
Max Bloom Of The Sunny Side O
Broadway" company, assisted by hi
leading lady.
After plates had been pushed aside
A T. Huesing. exalted ruler, introduc
ed the POSTMASTER of the evening, H
z. Casteel, who gave fair warning tina
he would take advantage of his opnor
tunity to take dig at some Of tn
men he had been wanting to get a
for some time, at the same time re
minding those present that he coul,
occupy Just as much time as he desil
ed. Whereupon he pulled out a regr
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-02-01
MUNICIPAL MATTERS

Hl.-The city council met in regular
session at 3 o'clock p. m, Mayor
Schriver presiding with Commission.
ers Rudgren, Hart, Reynolds and Bear
present.
The clerk read the minutes OF the
regular meeting held Jan. %, 1912,
which were approved.
Commissioner Rudgren offered an
ordinance which was Immediately
considered and adopted by unanimous
vote, allowing weekly payroll for week
ending Jan. q, 1912, in amount OF
S241.45, as follows: