The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-11-10
For Something Else


 The American was looking for some thing else, and after one whitening glance at the porter for detaining him on false pretenses he hurried out to find ont. The London office of an American newspaper seemed it's most likely hiC-ng place. The office boy represented the staff of that establishment and to him the American put his palpitating query:
 Any news?n he asked.
 Yes" said the boy Lots of it. Con cert of Europe breaks down. Montene- gro on rampage. Turks slaughtered"
 Only the Americans lack of time to engage in a sanguinary contest saved the boy from sharing the Turks fate. An English newspaper was tackled next. The American asked for the score and the boy at the telephone piped cheerfully Eton. 1; Windsor, 0; Rugby, IA; Rich nond, B."
 By then the American was scarcely re- sponsible for his actions. Somewhat in- elegantly he expressed his opinion of Eng llsh football and shut the receiver on fur thor information. There was no time to lose. Minutes were passing. and not even the name of the pitcher In the great game had been drawn up from the well of London ignorance. In his further prog ress from hotel to hotel and from news raper office to newspaper office the
 
 were likewise vainly imploring telegraph operators and other persons supposed to keep finger on the pulse of the world to tell them the score.
 At the theatre where an American play had been running for several weeks with an American actor in the leading role even the word score was misunderstood. Taking 1t for granted that a patriotic in stitution like that would have mind and unt fOY hut fxf, ,f .t h. | time the American asked without pre- ltminary explanation If the man at the telephone had heard 1t.
 Yes came the reply. "and it's rotten. thousand miles behind The Kiss Waltz and The Chocolate Soldier p
 The American was too distressed to try to find out whom the other fellow took hirn for or what new musical comedy had Teen unequvocally condemned. Having rln the gauntlet of news agencies the American surrendered himself to torment ing visions. In imagination he beheld the Polo Grounds, with their frenzied, shout ing crowds. Failing admission to those sacred precincts, he saw the Park Row bulletin boards, faced by seething null titudes. Asssiled by groans or cheers, the marker steped out and chalked down the details of'the game.
 He's doing it now, this very minuter'
 
 there to seei"
 Hated London Papers
 Then he took to generating London newspapers. Previously he had accepted their disregard of American news philo- sophically. It had galled him at times to see more space allotted to a little tdpenny European principalitv than to the great republic. whose only doings chronicled were freak society dinners, sensational divorces and New York po- lice scandal, but always he had accounted for that on the ground that the tupenny principalities were near at hand. whereas the republic was far away. and only vice is vigorous enough to stand daily trip across the Atlantic. He had cringed when contrasting the columns. even pages, of European news in American papers with the meagre paragraphs from home yet much as he had deplored the one-sided argument he had excused it on the prin- ciple that Europe is the mother of all, anu the mother is naturally of more inn portance in the. eyes of her contempora- ries than the child.
 But now, in his hour of agony. when not one word of baseball news was avail able. he resented this slight with intense bitterness. To his distorted imagination tte foreign representatives of American papers were tarred with the same offense. m his presentations that night he had learned that western papers were better informed on United States affairs than their New York contemporaries. but. 10 quote the American: What they knew about home would rattle around in d thimhle,''
 There was absolutely no excuse for such ignorance. he .raved. Why didn't tfey run In special wires2 Why didn't they make arrangements for reporting q nation-convulsinE event like a series of finals between the Giants and Led Sex? With the English it was differ crt. You couldn't expect 1t of them They didn't know anything about pase- ball, anyhow. never had played it and somehow had to get the idea-the Ameri-