The Glenwood post., 1912-08-24
What She'~
Really Meant

/ large income. / don't mean inter
preting foreign languages. but just
plain English!
II have learned through painful
years of humping my Uranium against
stone walls and yearn to take under
my wing all the poor. bewildered NOR
tails who still think the words people
use express what they mean. want
TO pat them on the back soothingly
and murmur There! There!' and
then explain to them that DO you like
pink chickens?' really means, we
came on the 10 o'clock train
For instance. Mrs. Gamboge calls
you up over the phone some morning
and says, My dear. we're having a
few people in to cards tonight and
want you to come. I Just got it up
on the spur of the moment-it's only
little informal affair Oh. most in
formal. my dear. I assure you! Just
few friends! So glad you can come!
Go-o-od-by!'
1--WE seen the time when I'd have
dismissed the matter until just be-
fore time to dress. when / would not
have even glanced at the shelf carry.
ing my party gowns in boxes, but
would have picked out some high
necked thing. Probably I'd have just
worn my hair as 1 ordinarily do and
would have taken a street car to get
to the scene Of the festivities. But
not now!
"1 have grown wiser. I know that
the English language does not mean
what it is made to say. So l spend
all my time after luncheon preparing
to go to Mrs. Gamboge's informal lit
tie affair. have my hair dressed and
my face massaged, and ! get an extra
manicure, and I have all my clothes
under inspection. and I pick out al.
most my very best gown. Then ]
borrow mothers Paris evening wrap
and phone for a taxi and wait five
minutes in the crush at the door be-
fore l can even get in. There will be
Hungarian band playing under the
stairs and the whole place will be
simply broken out with caterers men.
who pass you along from one to the
other solemnly. trying to act as
though they had butlered and foot
named in that one spot for several
decakes, as had their fathers before
them.
'By this time wish I had borrowed
mothers diamond tiara. because be-
| gin to feel kind of plain in only
satin and crystal gown and string
of pearls. There will be four course
| supper and American beauty roses
| bursting out from all corners.
at is really maddening to think
| what unlimited money and a telephone
will do nowadays. 1t seems to me that
they take away all the fun of giving
party, all the worry being removed.
These rich women do not have to
| count their napkins and say, My good
ness! I'll have to borrow Cousin Nell's
best ones to fill out!' They do not dis
cover that they haven't enough forks
busted. All they do is phone a caterer
and florist and tell Mary to be sure
to see that she dusts extra well down.
| stairs. Then they can go to lun-
cheon and two teas and make few
calls and when they arrive home at
| dinner time they say, Dear me! I'd
almost forgotten that have a card
party tonight
| 1.-THE only difference when It is con.
sidered q formal affair is that you get
an engraved old English card ten days
In advance.
"Then when you drop in to see a
friend and she keeps you waiting half
an hour before she comes down. and
you say. I hope didn't disturb or in
| terrupt,' and she murmurs sweetly,
Not at all. my dear! 1 was just hook
Ing my collar. and am So slow about
doing things!' you would realize, II you
had an interpreter at hand. that she
| meant that Ene was up in the third
| floor sewing room working like mad
with seamstress making over clothes
and hadn't brushed her hair since she
had twisted 1t into a knob on arising.
and had on hmono thing and old
slippers. Also that she said when
your card came up, Now, what on
earth did she come today Of all days
for, I'd like to know! Isn't it provok-
| lng!'
"My helping hand would be Of bene-
ht also to prosy and boresome and
spoiled old bachelors when a sweet
young thing of 20 leans over and looks
into their eyes and beseeches. DO tell
me all about how you make iron
beams! 1 am 5000 interested! 1t
must be such fascinating business!
What she really means is, II can
keep you talking to me as though your
life depended on it I can get Harry
stirred into a perfect FRAGILE of jeal-
ousy. He needs to be taken down a
peg or two, the way he's acting of late
with that Jenkins grill
I'm quite charmed with the posi-
bilities of my plan for a new profes-
sioni" concluded the girl who likes to