davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1912-08-23
They Got No Chance.

1ney GOC NO finance.
A vegetarian, getting into con
veFsation with a stranger at res
taurant, held forth loquaciously
on the advantages of a rion-fesh
dietary. But" said the stranger,
81 seldom eat meat" ''You just
ordered eggs" said the vegetar-
ian. can egg is practically meat,
because it eventually becomes a
bird" "The kind of eggs I eat
never become birds" replied the
stranger. "Good graciousP' re-
piled the vegetarian. What kind
of eggs do you eat?" Principally
boiled eggs, sir!"
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1912-08-23

VIOLENT DEATH A HABIT
Canton, China, Aug. 23.-Sud-
den and violent death is becoming
quite commonplace here. In the
last month more than 500 people
have been executed.
Police, military and naval au-
thorities and the courts all claim
and exercise-the right to inn
pose and execute capital punish
ment.
Death is the penalty for gam
bling, theft, false representation,
extortion, selling arms without Ii
cense, piracy, joining anti-gov-
eminent organizations, treason,
murder and harboring criminals.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1912-08-23

A COUPLEALAUGHS.
+ Tit for Tat.
Old Crusty, as his name i'm
piled, was not man who was
gifted with geniality. His neigh
bors, in fact, had as little to do
with him as possible. However,
when a new visitor came to the
town and moved into the house
next to him, and knew not of Mr..
Crusty's little falling, there was
likely to be trouble soon.
Wanting a book one day, he
politely inquired of Mr.. c. if he
might borrow one from his Ii
brary.
You've welcome to read books
in my library" was the ungra-
cious reply, but I make it my
rule never to let any leave my
house."
Some weeks later Mr.. c. was
in need of a lawn mower, and he
asked the loan of his neighbours.
Certainly" was the reply.
"But since l make it rule never
to letit leave my lawn you will be
obliged to use it here"
-O-O-
They Got No Chance.
a ,,aoa+orior, oret+i0o into CON
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1912-08-23

port himself; for if he runs for
Congress as Taftite it's cinch
Alice won't support him. She's a
Bull Moosette. Politically there
is a, split in the Longworth fam
lily.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1912-08-23
THE DIFFERENCE.
By Berton Braley.

There's no sort of good in money
If you grab it;
Though to live on milk and honey
Is your habit,
You will find it isn't funny,
You will feel it
Isn't joy to gather money
When you steal it.
There's lot of good in money.
1t will bless you,
1t will help to make life sunny,
'Twon't Cypress you.
You'll enjoyyour milk and honey,
Never spurn It;
For there's lots of good in money
When you earn it!
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02
WINDOW CLEANING.

WHITE WINDOW WASHING co. 1874 Broad
way: latest process OF window cleaning
private residences q speciality. Satisfaction
rusranteed. Reasonable terms Phone 1871
Madison Square.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02
T5AcRER and ASSISTANT, in school for :

TEACHER and ASSISTANT, in school for ex-
csptional children. in country; kindergarten
and primary branches. manual and objective
methods resident position: unusual opportunity
for special training interview at school by ep-
poiniment Watching Crest, Plainfeld. y. j.
WAITRESS.-For Morristown, y. J.; three in
family: SIS. Miss FftzGeralds Agency. 503
rh ave entrance on 52d st.
WHITE MOVING PICTURE PLAYS; s25
weekly spare time; literary ability unneces
,ry; free particulars. Atlas Publishing Co.,
ms, Cincinnati. Ohio
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02
Steamer Mary Powell
IYeeWRITINc AND TYpEWaIr Rs

xSTiTy FsTUCH reduces Noise Migratory. saves
wsar of machine. s1.75 per set, Let US snew
YOU. Lamb Typewriter Co. III Nassau 81. n: I.
VICTOR VISIBLE, 10 Nassau ct. Catalo9ue
free; all makes taken part psymsnt;e Da,ks'n'
IN Underwoods. Reminstons divers sm'hs
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02

COOK-First class all branches. with or
without ktchenmaid; country preferred; .
years excellent references: S35-S40. Miss
BuckIey's Agency, II West 42d. Phone 74s5
BRYANT.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02

NAN, with some Drawing ability carpenter by
trade: knows something about reinforced con-
cete. assistant superintendent last place: moo
erate wages: steady Job preferred. r. b. Trib-
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02

rKESsMAKING. family sewing. lace mending,
fne underwear neatly, reasonably done: home,
cut city country. Capable. 35l Lenox ave. Tel.
ei4T Mornngside
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02
~ - -
LAWYERS,

FRENCH legal papers drawn ana translated ac-
cording TO French laws loans on French III
feritances consul legalixaton. A. Guislin. Notary
Public, 225 West +2d st.
LAWYER sCHNEIDER. 1873 Broadway (cor
2eth). handles all matters. satisfaction guar
anteed. Open EVENING"
RENO LAWS explained by Western lawyer
Room 5l5, 1893 Broadway (cor. 28th). Open
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02
HELP WANTED.
Male

NswaIk.- =. I-I-r-O 10 handle our s. propo-
AGENTS va % sell: easy TO handle; big
silOn rite cte' for particulars ID. ChVer' BOX
rroits WLt.s.iiIa n J.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02

COMPANION or secretary TO a lady. BY 70
hned Young woman, graduating from seminary
In June Address A. Box AZ Tribune Once
DREssMAKER.- Competent: makes and re.
models; childrens specially. Juliet, 12o
East 18th st. Tel 4os stuyvesant.
CoVERNEss-Cerman, French. English. music
high class references. Nine. t. Carnello Asen-
cy i05 West f2d ct. Phone 66II Bryant.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02

COOK, $50; chsmbernsid and waitress, s25:
separately or together; thoroughly compe-
tent; excellent references. Scandinavian EN-
pioyment Agency 727 Lexington ave. Tel
81T4 Plaza
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02
OLD GOLD AND SILVER.
CAUNDRiE

MODEL. HAND LAUNDRY.-Cieaning and dye
ine. first class hand work 900 9th ave, BE-
tween 50th and bist sts. Phone Piaza-l6s0
ROssMORD LAUNDRY. 3SO-s52 West ssth st.
Linens handled conscientiousiy. Work that
brings reputation. Telephons ls24-Madison:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02

BUTLER, VAIIET.-Thoroughy understands his
business; excellent references; go anywhere
Niss Margaret Smiths Agency. % West 42d st.
Tel an3Q
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02
WORK WANTED.
Male.
lhnhHEcE Relisbie Employment Agency,
UT AWESS 826 sixth Avenue. Phone 30s9
Sfyant Best japanese servants furnished TO

CHAUFFEUR--Married SO: careful, expert
enced operator; domestic and foreign care
clean record; license No. 5o27 A. Wunsch, Y
Inland Place, Yonkers or telephone Pastor
Nounteney, Yonkers-S241.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02
DOMESTIC SITUATIONS WANTED.
Male.
A.-JAPANESE AGENCY

BuTLER-VALET-You refined: French.
italian, English best references; go any
Where Mrs T. Carnello Agency. 10S West 42d
Z Phone 56T7 Bryant.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02

MANAGING EDITOR open for engagement
Forty dollars q week. Address r. A H..
Tribune Once
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02

COOK.-Swedish, good bread and bscuit
maker: soups, desserts, roasts, etc. excel
lent references; $50. Charles Wilson's Agency,
14I East 5Ith ST. Tel 2224 Plaza.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02
Delightful Afternoon Excursion
to West Point,
NH D-lI
sight SEEING Yacht
DOMESTIC SITUATIONS WANTED.

Leaves foot Yves, 23d 81. Pier every day. 10 80
A. NJ 230 p NJ, around Manhattan Island.
Lecturer Steamer chairs. Refreshments aboard.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-06-02

COOK.-German. understands all kinds cook
ing. excellent baker: also two friends,
waitress. parlormaid: laundress, chambermaid:
city, country. Miss Morrow's Agency, 12l
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-06-08
WILLING TO TEACH
EITHER THEORY
Had Not Made Up His Mind
Which Was Correct and
Was Ready To Be Con
WINGED.

The story is told Of young man who
applied for a position to teach a country
school. The board of education sent
for him. Among other questions. he
was asked if he believed the earth to
be round or fat.
"Well7 he replied, Pm unpreiudiced,
so I'm willing TO teach either theory"
The rural applicant was careful not
to show his ignorance. Others are not
always so thoughtful, A discussion re
Gently arose as to the boundaries Of
Roumania, the claim being made that
it does not touch the Black Sea. The
Georgians Atlas was brought out to
decide the question. 1t correctly shows
that Roumania is bounded on the north
and west by Austria Hungary. on the
east by Russia and the Black Sea. on
the south by Bulgaria, and for a short
distance on the west by Servia. So the
one that claimed that Roumania does
not border on the Black Sea was wrong.
The Standard Atlas and chronology
cal History of the World is correct in
every detail Its full pages, maps and
charts are authentic and up to date
You can get it by presenting six head
ings clipped or torn from the first
page of this paper, together with an ex-
pense fee to cover the necessary items
of this distribution.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-06-08
FOR THE NECK
AND SHOULDERS
A Free Prescription That Instantly Re-
moves Bernishes, Tans, Freekles
and the Wrinkles and Marks
Left by High Collars.

The Dutch neck and the evening
gown too often expose the discolora-
tions and blemishes of high collars or
the effects of tan and freckles. 1t is
easv to overcome these conditions ana
make the neck beautiful and white and
soft and smooth-to remove. in other
words. every blemish and to make the
Dutch collar as attractive as 1t IS COM
Portable. This prescription can also be
used on the shoulders and 1t is mar
velously effective to beautify the hands
and arms.
If you want to try 1t go to your drug
gist get an empty tWo-ounce bottle,
also a one-ounce bottle of Kulux Com
pound. Pour the entire bottle of Ku-
lux into the two ounce bottle, add quar-
ter an ounce of witch hazel, then fill
with water. Prepare this at your own
home and then you know what you
have One application will astonish
YOU. 1t is deliciously cool and sooth-
ing and is not affected by perspiration.
1t will not rub off.
If YOU put it on one hand only, or
on one side of the neck, and note the
difference you will see the wonderful
change ii makes instantly. The results
are permanent. and continued use of
this prescription will result in skin
as soft and smooth as a child's, a skin
from which redness and roughness and
freckles have been entirely removed.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-12-12

ming. The United Romance and Ad-
venture Company is not listed at pres
ent. II It was, I'd sell q few shares
on my own hook. The kind Lord
knows that I've stock eenough and to
spare" He laughed again, but with
out the leaven of humor. When the
fool-kller snatches up the last fool,
let rogues look to themselves; and
fools are getting scarcer every day.
"Percival Algernon! o age Of po-
etsl l wonder, does he wear high col
lars and spats, or has she plumbed
him accurately? She is generally
right. But a man changes some in
seven years. I'm an authority when 1t
comes to that. Look what's happened
to me In seven years! First, Horace,
we shall dine, then we1l smoke our
pipe in the billiard-room, then we'll
softly approach Percival Algernon
and introduce him to Sinbad. This In
dependent excursion to Bagdad was
a stroke on my part; it will work into
the general plan as smoothly as II it
had been grooved for the part. Sinbad.
Il might Just as well have assumed
that name: Horace Sinbad, sounds
well and looks we'll" He unused in
silence, his hand gently rubbing his
chin; for he did possess the trick OF
talking aloud, in a low monotone, a
habit acquired during periods Of lone
illness, when the sound Of his own
voice had succeeded In steadying his
lettering mind.
What a woman, what q wife, she
would have been to the right man
Odd thing, a mar can do almost any
thing but direct his affections; they
must be drawn. She was not for him
nay, not even on a desert isle. Doubt
less he was a fool. In time she would
have made him a rich man. Alack
1t was always the n we pursued
that we loved and never the one tina
pursued US.
I'm afraid of her; and there vol
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-12-12

arm, the CLINT OF a polished shoulder;
his was the essence Of life he coveted.
He smiled at the thought and the sure
knowledge that he was not the only
wolf In the fold. Ay, and who among
these dainty Red Riding Hoods might
be fooled by a vulpine grandmother
Truth, when a fellow winnowed 1t all
down to a handful, there were only
fools and rogues. II one was q fool.
the rogue got you, and he in turn De-
voured himself.
He held his glass toward the table
lamp, moved it slowly to and fro I'M
der his nose, epicureanly; then he
slipped the wine. Something like! II
ran across his tongue and down his
throat in tingling fire, nectarious; and
he went half way to Olympus, to the
feet of the gods. For weeks he had
lived in the vilest haunts, in desperate
straits, his life in his open hands; and
now once more he had crawled from
the depths to the outer crust Of the
world. 1t did not matter that he was
destined to go down into the depths
again; so long as the spark burned
he was going to crawl back each time
| Damnable luck! He could have lived
like a prince. Twenty-four hundred
and all In two nights, q steady stream
Of gold into the pockets Of men whom
he could have cheated with consum
mate ease, and didn't. A fine wolf
whose predatory instincts were still
riveted to that obsolete thing called
conscience!
Conscience? Rot! Let us TO
once be frank and write 1t down al
caution, as fear Of publicity, anything
but the white guardian-angel Of tn
Immortality of the soul. Heap up tn
gold. Apollyon; heap 1t up, higher ant
higher, till not a squeak OF that still
small voice that once awoke the cha
in the Old Testament cal ever agail
be heard. Now, no more retrospectior
Horace; no more analysis; the vita
question SINNERS down to this: ]
Percival Algernon balks, how far wi
four s~overeigns go?"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-12-12

are. There isn't a man living who
has gone back Of that Mona Lisa smile
Of hers. If she was the last woman
and / vas the last man, / don't say"
He hunted for a cigarette, but failed
to find one almost at the bottom,
boy; the winter Of our discomfort, and
no sun Of York to make 1t glorious.
Twenty-four hundred at cards, and to
lose 1t like a tyro! Wallace has taught
me all he knows, but I'm a BOBBY.
Twenty-four hundred, firms money.
It's a failing OF mine, the firms money.
But, damn it all, l can't cheat a man
at cards; I'd rather cut his throat"
He found his pipe, and a careful
search Of the corners OF his coat-pock-
cts revealed a meager pipeful Of to-
bacco. He picked out the little balls
Of wool, the ground-coffee, the cloves.
and pushed the charge home into the
| crusted bowl Of his briar.
ITO the devil with economyl "A
pint Of burgundy and a perfecto If
they hale us to jail for 1t. Pm dead
tired. I've e three corners in hell
in the past two months. I'm going az
far as four sovereigns will take me.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-12-12

through his fingers. his pleasure-lov-
ing fingers.
Come, come, Horace: buck up.
Still the ruby kipdles in the vine. No
turning back now. Well 60 on till we
come bang! against the wall. There
may be some good bouts between here
and there. l wonder what Gioconda
would say If she knew why | was so
eager for this gamer"
He went down to dinner, and they
gave him a table In an obscure corner,
as a subtle reminder that his style was
passe. He didn't care; he was hungry
and thirsty. He could see nearly every
one, ever IL only a few could see him.
This was somewhat to his vantage. He
e~ndeavored to pick out Percival Alger-
non; but these were too many high
collars, too many monocles. So he
c~ontented himself with a mild philo-
sophical observance Of the scene. The
murmur Of voices. rising as the wall
Of the violins sank, sinking as the
wall rose; the tinkle Of glass and
china, the silver and linen, the pretty
women in their ruAtling gowns, the
| delicate perfumes. she asab az an
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-12-12

The porter then understood that he
was dealing not with a species OF
mild lunacy, but with that kind Of
light-hearted cynicism upon which
the world Gas porters know it, had set
its approving seal. In brief, he smiled
family; and If he had any pleasantly
to pass In turn, the approach OF the
manager, now clothed metaphorically
in deferentialism, relegated 1t to
the limbo Of things thought but left
unsaid.
Here is a letter for you, MI. Ry-
anne. Have you any more luggage?"
mo" Mr.. Ryanne smiled. Shall
l pay for my room in advance?"
"Oh, no, sir!" Ten years ago the
manager would have blushed at hav-
ing been so misunderstood. "Your
room is 2OS."
"Will you have a boy show me the
way?"
81 shall myself attend to that. II
the room is not what you wish it
may be exchanged"
THE room is the one I telegraphed
for. / am superstitious to q degree.
On three boats l have had fine state
rooms numbered 208. Twice the num-
| Der of my hotel room has been the
same. On the last voyage there were
| 208 passengers, and the captain had
made 2OS voyages on the Mediterra-
nean."
quite a ~coincident."
"Ah, if roulette could be played with
such a certainty"
Mr.. Ryanne sighed, hitched up his
bundle. which, being heavy, was begin
ming to wear upon his arm, and signi.
fed to the manager to lead the way.
As they vanished round the corner
to the lift, the head-porter studied the
guest-list. He had looked over 1t q
dozen times that day, but this was the
first instance of his being really in
terested in it. As his chin was fresh
ly shaver he had no stubble to stroke
to excite his mental processes; sc
he fell back, as we say, upon the con
bOILHS EuuS VI LIS duuludAL MuS
tache. Curious; but all these persons
were occupying or about to occupy
adjacent rooms. There was truly
nothing mysterious about 1t, save thai
the stranger had picked out these very
names as a target for his banter. For
tune Chedsoye; it was rather an I'm
usual name; but as she had arrived
only an hour or so before, he coult
not distinctly recall her features. Ant
then, there was that word bucolic
He mentally turned 1t over and owe,
as physically he was wont to do will
postcards left in his care to mail
He could make nothing of the word
except that 1t smacked Of the Eas
Indian plague.
Here he was saved from furthe
cerebral agony by a timely interruI
ton. A man, who was not of bucoli
persuasion either in dress or speech
urban from the tips Of his bleache,
fingers to the bulb Of his bibulou
nose, leaned across the counter an
asked If Mr.. Horace Ryanne had we
arrived. Yes, he had just arrived; h
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-12-12

/. Fortune C~hedsoye." His blue
eyes became less hard and his mouth
less defiant. q" repeat, the heart
should be nothing but a pump. 9th
erwise 1t gets In the way, becomes an
obstruction, q bottomless pit. Will
power, that's the ticket l can face q
lion without an extra beat, l can face
the various countenances, Of death
without an additional iutter; and yet,
here's a girl who, when l see her or
think Of her, sends the pulse soaring
from seventy-seven up to e~ighty-four.
Bad business; besides, it's SO infer
nally questionable. It's hard work
for a man to keep his balance 'twixt
the devil and the deep, blue sea; Clio
conda on one side and Fortune on the
other. Gioconda throws open windows
and doors ut my approach; but For
tune locks and bars hers, nor knocks
at mine. That's the way It always
goes.
"If q man could only 90 back ten
years and take a Q start. ASST"
balling his fist at the reflection In the
mirror. Swivel and whine over the
bed Of your own making. You had
your opportunity, but you listened to
the popping Of champagne-corks, the
mutter Of cards, the inane drivel Of
ch~orus-ladies. You had a decent col
lege record, too. Bah! What a guile
less fool you were! You ran on, didn'
you, till you found your neck in the
loop at the end Of the rope? Ant
perhaps that s~oftfooted, estimablt
brother of yours didn't yank 1t taut al
a hangman's? You heard the codicili
into one ear and out the other. Ever
then you had your chance; patienc'
for two short years. and a million. No
a thousand times 40. You knew wha'
you were about, empty-headed fool
And today, two pennies for a deat
mans eyes"
He dropped his fist dejectedly
Where had the first step begun? An
where would be the last? In SOM
drab corner, possibly; drink, moi
phine, or starvation; he'd never hav
the courage to finish 1t with a bullet
He was terribly bitter. Everything
! worth while seemed to have slippe'
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-12-12

pairing minutes from timetables. Fol-
a man in his business 1t was a clever
~expedient, deceiving all but those VINO
knew him. He hesitated at the door,
however, as If he had changed his
mind in the twenty-odd PAGES 1t TOOK
to reach 1t. He stared for a long
period at the elderly gentleman who
was watching the feluccas on the
river through the window. The white
mustache and imperial stood out In
crisp relief against the rudy sunburn
on his face. If he was aware Of this
scrutiny on the part of the pursy gen.
tleman, he gave not the least sign.
The revolving door spun round, send
ing a puff Of outdoor air into the
lounging-room. The elderly gentleman
then smiled, and applied his thumb
and forefinger to the waxen point OF
his imperial.
In the intervening time Mr. Ryanne
entered his room, threw the bundle
on the bed, sat down beside 1t, ana
read his letter. Shadows and lights
moved across his face; frowns that
hardened it, smiles that mellowed 1t.
! Women hold the trick of writing let
tiers. Do they hate, their thoughts
flash and burn from line to line. Do
they love, It's lettered music. Do they
conspire, the breadth Of their imagi.
nation is without horizon. At best,
man can indite only a polite business
letter. his love-notes were adjudged
long since a maudlin collection Of
loose sentences. In this letter Mr.. Ry'
anne found the three parts Of life.
"She's a good general; but hans
these birthstone efforts of hers. She
talks too much of heart. For my part
1 prefer to regard it as a mere phys
ical function, a pump, a motor, q pow
er that gives action to the legs, ethel
in coming or in going, more especially
in going" He laughed. We'll. hers
is the inspiration and hers is the law
And to think that she could plan al
this on the spur of the moment, dowI
to the minutest detail! It's a science.
He put the letter away, slid out hi
legs and glared at the dusty tips O
his shoes. THE United Romance ant
Adventure Company, Ltd, of New
York, London, and Paris. She has thu
greatest gift Of all, the sense Of hu
NOR"
He rose and opened his kit-baj
doubtfully. He rummaged about II
the depths and at last straightene'
up with a mild oath.
mot a pair Of cuffs in the who'll
outfit, not a shirt, not a collar. OF
we'll, when a mar has to leave Hagda,
the way I did, over the back fence
so to speak, linen doesn't count"
He drew down his cuffs, detache
and reversed them, he turned his folt
ing collar wrong-side out, and use
, the under side of the foot-rug as