The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-08
The LIGHTER SIDE.
q. S. District Attorney Talks
About Complaints and Justice.
The BaId-Headed Mans Wrath
How 1t Was Turned Away.

Harry oBne, in conversational mood,
opened package of pepsin gum, and
related some of the amusing eXper~
fences that come under his jurisdiction
as United States district attorney.
Mine out of ten cases we receive -
said he, have to be turned down. I
sometimes return as many as half q.
dozen complaints in one day. To VIC
late the postal laws a letter must be
in aid of scheme to defraud, or must
be obscene, lude, lasciyious and filthy.
Few persons realize this. Of course
laws regulating postal cards are more
stringent; a man might be seriously in
jured by uncomp limentary epithets
that anyone might read. In fact, my
funniest experiences was along those
lines"
Bone; then settled back, ready to tell
good story.
IAN old Irishman who lived north
of town had grudge against a neigh
Dor. In order to vent his wrath he
purchased a dimes worth of postal
cards and sent one everyday; each card
bore the brief but profane appellation
Son-of-a-gun.' The neighbor COM
planned, and q. S. inspector was sent
to interview the son of Old Erin; he
found him p1oughing, and sat down
with him on a fence. The Irishman
denied all knowledge of the cards.
All right said the inspector, wen
have to manage this ourselves He
started to leave, but the Irishman
called him back.
Hold on minit,' drawled he. 4
wanna asst you a question. Suppos-
in 1 did buy thin ca-ards; jist sup
posin 1 stint EN-
g Yes encouraged the inspector.
But supposin,' quoth he shrewdly
'supposin' he wuz one, an 1 could
prove it, Wud that make any diff
Harry Bone-who, in all probable
ity, was the inspector referred to
shook with laughter.
8 'Supposin' he wuz one,'" he re-
peated, well, the old fellow was fin
ally indicted and fined 500. Good
enough
Most of our troubles begin with
women Mr.. Bone went on, zone
woman gives another the dickens,
and threatens to run her out of town.
That woman writes in hot haste to
the federal court, and all we can do is
have a good laugh, and return her let
from Jealous sweethearts would fill
a book. A man has two girls at
once, and the letters interchanged be-
tween them are pretty hot. This
business of Z. S. attorney shows a
man what a lot of mean people there
are in the world
What about the state postal laws ?''
inquired the reporter.
'"They're broader" re, replied Mr.;
sends a letter threatening to accuse
another of a crime, or to extort
money, he shall be punished if he is
found guilty. Had one case broke
off Mr.. Bone, chuckling, that didn't
get under either state or federal law,
it came pretty near it.
cit happened when I was assistant
attorney. A man with the perfectly
name of Henry Smith
lived in a little western town. Some |
one mailed him a card addressed to |
old Badly Smith, He got the card, |
too, but was sensitive about having no
hair and sent the communication in |
for prosecution. It might have been
a technical violation, but I straight |
ened him out. My dear SIR said I, |
the judge of this court is John S. |
Hook, the attorney is Ike Lambert |
the clerk is Frank Brown. I'm the
assistant attorney. Speaking purely |
from a friendly standpoint, I'd advise
you not to introduce the subject of
badness in the federal court
1.-The man looked at me, gasped, and |
the nrASocJfiOp