The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-12
Annual Pest Convention Held
in Topeka Last Night.
Closed Drug Stores, Theaters-
and Everybody'S Mouth.
THEY REARED FAMILIES HERE
Green Things Came Single
Grandfathers at Midnight.
Swarmed Up and Down To-
peka's Great White Way.

Little green ones, gray oblong ones,
round fuzzy ones, tickly square ones,
sneaking, peering, joyful, oogy ones
hundreds, thousands, millions of EN-
all came to Topeka last night. They
were in Kansas City the night before
and naturally were a little fris6y IN
their actions at the Kansas State Fair
But it was the annual crusade of the
little green bugs and Topeka neither
was surprised or alarmed at the visit.
/ They closed the drug stores, made
/ life miserable for the girls with the
/ low-necks at the theaters, pestered the
/ passengers on the street cars Swarmed
/ into the food consumed at the rest
aurantS, craWled down the horns of the
band boys at the state fair, took To-
I peka's great white way by storm-in
fact they were everywhere where
/ light could be seen. Even the little red
lights along the street excavations
were surrounded-naughty little green
bu=s!
! They came without a warning. Thou
sands of them are still with us-in our
pockets, in our hair, in our stomachs-
! yes, sir-in our stomachs. The little
| green scamps were not satisfied with the
! average persons natural facial openings
they scampered into open mouths and
did the shoot-the-s shoots down frenzied
| Threats
Laid Siege to Drug Stores.
The drug stores last night were the
! first to receive warning. Immediate
| ly they turned off the store lights left
| only the outside lights burning and
prepared to fight the pests. Scientific
druggists who were up on bugs and
| their habits sprinked ill-smelling dope
| on the sidewalks in front of their stores
and the little green crawlers stayed
| away.
| Kind street car conductors who were
compelled to witness the st. Vitus
wriggling of girls and women who were
wearing peek-a-boos and nothing
around their necks, turned off the car
| lights that the bugs would hunt other
pastures. Out at the state fair grounds
| the band lights were turned out be-
| cause Jack Marshall said there was a
| certain limit to the stomach capacity
for green bugs-anyway he said the
| band boys had a good supper before
! they went out to the grounds.
| Skyrockets during the fireworks dis
! play were a fzZle-they went so far,
| were chased and surrounded by the
pesky visitors. exploded glumly, and
i were lost from the vision of the human
| beings below. The police were du1n-
founded-time and again they would
! stop a motoriSt, demand that he come
to the station with. him, only to find
| after chopping, Slicing and beatiaS
| with clubs that the lights were burn
! ing after all The city electric light
| department was called by enraged cit
| liens who declared it an outrage that
/ the lights should be allowed to go out
| on a dark night like last night-but IT
wasn't the light-it was the bug con-
vention.
Screens were useless. The bugs
| laughed at them took flying start
and shot through the mesh like a fish
| through the water. They sWarmed
| around peaceful citizens who attempt
ed to read at me f1reside. They slipped
| into the bedrooms, took advantage of
sensitive exposures, and sent the farm
lies diving into bed. They crawIad
into the mouths, ears, noses and down
the necks of every person they couli
catch-these tickly, fuzzy, exasperatIng
bugs.
Covered Up Your Pie.
When you wanted drink at soda
fountain they gave you a straw so that
you could suck the mixtures from the
bottom of the glass-and at that, am
bilious bugs dived into the depths and
came sliding Up your straw wiggling
IL glee. The restaurants awaited your
orders, brought out the food, took a
grand swipe at the plates and told you
to get busy before the bugs beat you
to it. You might cut into one pll e
expecting to find meat only to extract
your knife dripping with custard pie.
Topeka's great white way was a
regular picnic ground for the pests.
One old papa bug who had Travelled
in many cities, stated on authority
that the white way was the best resoi
he mad seen IN weeks. 1n6y nON6IeQ
around the lights like kiddieS around
a watermelon-the sidewalks and &C.
tiers were coated with them this morn
ing.
The little green bugs-unlike the
average state fair visitor, did not bring
their families with them. 1t WASH
necessary. Bugs that came alone early |
III the evening were great grandfathers
by midnight
only one person in Topeka can be
blamed for the bug convention last
night-"Sunny'' Flora, the weather
prognosticator, is the man. He fixed
up the kind of climate that agrees with |
the little green ones-and they took |
advantage of it. You can't blame the |
state fair management or Publicity |
Agent Kiene-the visitors came unso- |
Iicited. They were given free admis- |
sion at the gates-it is true-but ev-
cry one of them had perfectly 1esal
countersigned passes.
Be prepared for the steenth annual
convention next fall. Topeka has been |
chosen as the meeting place. The |
Commercial CLUB has planned an elan |
Ia n