Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-05-16

generally hasn't enough of it to dress.
LIlu-We don't believe they make
pink typewriter ribbons.
@. III. T.-Wear a leather car. soak
Your gloves in gasoline every morning,
put two or three streaks of black
grease on your nose and talk about au-
tollobiles to everybody you meet. They
VIII surely think YOU own one.
Henrietta-No. we do not believe that
ladies should smoke cigarets on the
back platform OF street cars. or on the
front platform either.
Jane-We quite agree with yOu. Jane,
III he carries his lose change. before
marriage, in one of those leather wall
lets with nine yards of string around
1t there is no prospect that he would
make a spendthrift husband.
Pete-No. Zbysziso. the wrestler. was
not named after u certain popular tea
WAFER.
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.
Appearances are often mighty de-
ceVin. l meyer yet see IL fightin' Eng
llSh army officer in citizens lothes,
VINO didn't look like a cross between
u ~mollycoddle and II sensitive plant.
Most OF the fellers that are 100 years
old now had the sense to start in
80 A4''tiiS ~ OOSo
We're invented.
Mrs. Hank Tumms keeps her house
money in an old Fashioned teapot be-
cause the top is so small Hank can't
get his hand i'm and he can't top it up
without rafting it so she kin hear.
When Hold Peters son does some
thing to be proud of Hold is sure it
is on account of heredity. but when
ne gets landed in Jail Hold is dead
certain it is ON a%ccountof environ
ment.
Old ST Perkins. who has been ailin'
ana eXpectin' to pass out for the last
five years says he hopes he kin hang
on just two years more. for then it
VIII be seven years n his doctor bill
will be outlawed. Doc Hanks SAYS ST
won't come that trick on him not if
the our knows herself and he reckons
she do.
There amt no partickler law agin'
a Teller wearin' peg-top trousers, but
there ought to be.
There was a fire the other night,
but nobody Knowed about it and a lot
OF peopl" was disappointed where 9TH
erwise they might have spent a very
pleasant evening. When Constable Ezra
Hand went to ring the bell he found
somebody had stole it. The constable
is lookin' up some of our merchants
who carry a lot of insurance i'm hopes
of finding some trace of it.
HE CoULDN' TELL A LIE.
George Washington. the school books
say. could never tell a lie,
Although he was q married man, but
they don't tell us why.
We'd like to know the inside facts and
and how it was forsooth,
That George could eve get along by
sticking to the truth.
If he should run for president and
narfy hncSns. r.rO{o
A platform he could stand upon to
catch the party vote;
Would he say ed carry out each blank
right in it's place,
Or would he throw it in the air and
pull out of the race.
Would he assure each candidate for ey-
cry job in sight
That there was not a doubt but he'd
get the place all right?
Or would he give up and resign his
job right on the spot?
Perhaps he couldn't tell a lie, but times
have changed q lot.
MAY DAYS.
The doggone school clock stands dead
The hands don't move a bit.
1t seems like 60 years until
It's time Tor school to quit.
Someone passed out u good bum steer
anu WIote lHe IileS, that's all,
For just about this lime of year
1t doesn't even crawl.
Bluegill are bitin' by the ton
And 1 don't give a durn
Ii Caesar crossed the Rubbercun
Or If old Rom did burn.
The angle INC hypothenuse
Amt pastimes to my wish.
And gramma.-thunder, what's the use?
l want to set and fish.
curiosities.