The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1912-01-18

has Jest escaped a stroke o paralysis
on dis account an am now too weak
to walk across de street
My frens. hev 0u several occa.
shuns warned you again Dustin out
all 10 once an tryin 10 chauge yo
selves ober. II has ailus bin danger.
/ Gus an allus will be- De average
man am good unf fur dis cold an
cruel world. Nobody looks fur wings
+ on his shoulder blades II too had. he
may be sent 10 prison. but n too good
his punishment will be- almost as bad.
/ He will be called fu.e.
"Brudder Jones has gone back 70
swarm an chawiu an' smukir. /
hev his solemn promise dar be viii
set his dawg on he next nayhur who
comes TO his cabin 10 borry anythlu.
He has gibben up de idre OF bein'
/ honest. an II Mrs. Jones tries TO Ham
/ out agin, she'll git tAlmped COO She
| can't boiler. Ize gwiUe TO sot up wild
/ him tonight. We am hopln to save
! his life an restore bin 10 de world.
but realize dat II wIlI be clus
/ shave"
Honesty In Mule Trade.
The speaker paused 20 take drink
of hard cider and then continued:
Deacon simmons OF dis club was
Ober 10 my house last night. He cum
ober to complain to me dat Waydowu
| Bebee. also of dis club. had dun got
de best of him on a trade Brudder
Bebee had traded him a mewl for
shotgun. banjo, daWg and a dream
book Dat mewl 'peared to be fun o
bizness while de trade was gwiue on
prancin' around wild his head In de air
an his heels flyin out at eberythln'-
but de deacon had skaSsIy toted him
home when he sorter collapsed an fell
down. an de last report was to de
effect dat his hours war numbered
Il want TO take advantage Of dis oc-
oashun to say few words TO go on
de subject of honesty good many
vars ago dar was strictly honest
man. He began life wild a determine.
shun to do de squar' thing under all
circumstances. He had a cash capital
of $25,000 an lots o faith In human
natur'. He planted watermillyons an
didn't hire nobody TO watch de patch |
He kept chickens an didn't hey no
lock on de doah. He lent money an
didn't ak fur no |. O q. He signed |
bonds an notes an didn't AK fur no
security.
Fortune Gone In Nine Years.
IF he bought Il newt he took dc |
owners word fur it; if he sold one he
conscientiously p'inted out de ring
bones an spavins an owned up dat de |
beast was gwine on twenty vars ole. |
My dear frens, how long do 40 reckon /
dat man lasted? In jest nine Vars he |
was in de porehouse, an he neher dun |
got out again. 1t was an experiment |
All de rest Of de kentry was watchin |
to see how de experiment would pan |
out. II was a dead failure an solemn /
warnin'
81 say TO yo'." continued the Old man
as he looked down upon the score of
bald heads on the front seats. dat de
world has no use fur a strictly honest
man. II yo' am in de pos'onlce doan
steal no letters. If 20 am in de bank
doan' steal no money. Doan' beat yo'r
landlord nor butcher nor grocer. Doan
rob blind man nor cheat an orphan |
Aside from dat yo' am expected to take
care Of no one
Where Honesty Stops.
"lf y0'r mewl has got de spavlns
trade him off in de night If some
body sticks yo' wild plugged coin yo
am expected TO pass it Off ON a street
kyar conductor De tax assessor ex-
pects yo' to prevaricate. De gas man
dggers dat yo' will turn on all de burn
ers If de meter gifts outer order. II
yo' fail in bizness yo'r creditors am
prepared to admire yo'r leetle scheme
by which yO beat EN-. We am all
honest up to low water mark arter dat
doan' glib odds to nobody.
Deacon Simmons pears to feel ii
mo bekase he an Brudder Bebee be
long TO de same club, an he reckons
dere orter be a fraternal feelin, So
dere orter bur all fraternal feelin's
melt away when 70 swap watches or
trade nevis. | am deacon in de
church, but do yo' reckon that I'd
lend one of de odder deacons 50
widout had security for $5? is bin
libin right alongside Of preacher for
nigh onter ten vars, but would swap
watches wild him widout lookin to see
if he hadn't taken out some of de
wheels? As ! said befo'. be honest
up to sartn pint. Arter dat all men
expect yo' to take keer OBJ yo'rself.
Dat mewl will no doubt die on de
deacon's hands, an while he will be
Sll outer pocket he will hev gained S22
wuth o experience Let us now turn
lut de light an go home"