The Washington herald., 1912-02-02

Congressman Legare, OF South Caro-
lima, was passing the time Of day with
constituent in a small town, where ne
had gone to make speech.
"HoW's your wife?" asked Legare.
A pained look came over the mans
face "Ain't you heard Of my great
loss?'' he asked. swallowing lugubriously.
mo, Jim; / hadn't" murmured Legare.
why. lost my wife nearly two
months ago." the man told him.
THAT Is indeed too bad" said Legare.
aympathetlcaIly. Had she been sick
lcng?''
"oh, she always was kind Of frail
like" said the bereaved husband. And
then he added:
THE one I've got now seems to be good
and strong, though"
Every member Of either branch OF
Congress, and their secretaries, have been
swamped during the last few weeks with
calls from constituents who have lost
their places at the Census Bureau, which
recently dropped about 1.SoO employees
Representative Dixon, of Indiana, got
tired Of hearing so much woe and put
on his hat the other morning to make
a round OF all the government bureaus
in town, hoping to corrall a few Jobs for
some OF his people.
There was absolutely nothing doing.
Dixon returned to his once about $50
in the afternoon greatly disguised after
his fruitless quest. On his desk was
memoranda that one bureau chief had
called him on the phone
Without waiting to call the man. Dixon
rushed back TO that bureau. Doubtless
he was on the traiI Of a job or two at
last.
"Just wanted to say" remarked the
chief, that was so busy when you were
here this morning that forgot my man
ners. I might at least have offered you
a smoke. Here. try one Of these"
And he handed Dixon a stogie.
Henri Martin. first secretary Of the
Swiss legation. is known in diplomatic
lsociety as rear admiral Of the Swiss
navy. Strict adherence TO ones code Of
veracity makes II necessary TO state that
young Martin isn't an admiral Of the
Swiss navy at all. but II is considered q
fine joke among the diplomatic folk to
address Mr.. Martin twittingiy as admiral.
Martin, who IS one Of the best roller
skaters in town, is good natured about II.
but would Just as soon turn over his i'm
promptu title to some chleftaIn OF the
Salvation Army.
Two Wisconsin members of the House
sat in q Capitol restaurant the other
noon laughing heartily over a proposition
that one of them had just outlined. The
two are great friends and there wouldn't
be anything noteworthy about them sit
ting together and laughing while mace
rating their food, except that they are
soon TO be rival opponents for Congress.
Their names are Nelson and Kopp, and
they represent the Second and Third Wis
consin districts. The State legislature
reckoning not Of their friendship. merged
the two districts and now Messrs. Kopp
and Nelson must fight It out They both
like It irst-rate here in Washington and
would rather spend their winters here
than in Wisconsin. But one must return
home at the end OF his present term and
stay there. Every few days Kopp and
Nelson take lunch together and laugh
over the schemes they are going to re-
sort TO against one another when the
campaign opens UP.
Senator La Toilette can work long
hours without much show OF fatigue, in
consequence of a rare gift Of being able
" VIII hAtAAGEA " OA sAAoiN LoiNE-
He can drop of to sleep at any hour Of
the day or night that he desires TO sleep.
II he Is on a long. tiresomc speaking
tour. with nearly every moment occu-
pied and finds himself with twenty min
utes TO spare. he'll say: Here's my
chance for a little sleep" And within a
minute he'll be slumberinE like a cat be-
hind stove. After a quarter OF an hour
doze, picked up in that manner, he feels
refreshed and Is Eood for twenty hours.
II need be, OF hard, mental toll.
la Toilette SAYS he has cultivated his
knack of willing himself TO sleep simply
because he has to. He can't afford to
get keyed up over his work and waste
time with Insomnia
Talking about sleep recalls the sad
case Of James R. Mann. the House mi-
nority position. Mann sleeps like a
ruddy-faced. tow-headed babe. once he
gets started; but in order to relax his
mind before retiring he is obliged to read
a current novel every night. He has a
standing order at the Library Of Congress
to supply him with six quick-sellers a
week.
And. laments Mann. ''nine-tenths Of
the novels are rotten. They may be bet
ter to take than bromide tablets, but it's
tough to have TO read such stun.
Besides consuming all these popular
novels, Mann reads one book week on
gardening.
Senator Jonathan Bourne, jr.. OF Ore
gon, Is going to try an experiment. prob
ably never Before undertaken by can