Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-11-19
Battle Hill Folks Better Step Real Lively NotO
UNCLE HI BUYS AN AUTY

IL Uncle Hi Suggs had not heard the
band playing as he drove his produce
wagon past the Auditorium, he proba-
Oily wouldn't have seen the auto show.
But he paused to listen, and a man
VINO always stops at Uncle His farm
Tor drink of well water saw the old
man, bought him ticket and drew him
through the door.
don't know where I'm goin'. but
as long as 1t don't cost nothin' 1 mought
as we'll take 1t in" said Mr.. Suggs.
My, that band certainly is hittin ,up
Dixie Minds me of a bugle PLAYER
we mad In GA Jimmy Robbins was his
name, and he bowed the bugle for the
Ihlrd Gawgy reg'mint. Jimmy he went
foragin' one night and found a still
house. He didn't hev nothin' else to
tote Ticker in ceptin' his insides and
MS hawn, so he filed up both and
starts for camp. He had his finger in
the leetle end of the hawn, when he
met up with the cunl The cunI he
says to Jimmie"
Just then somebody pressed the but
ton of an electric horn and its demoniac
snort made the old man jump for safe
ty.
Uncle Hi Hates "Them Horns"
"Dad-burn them things!" said Mr..
Suggs. I'D jest as soon be run over
as have one of them insultin', screech-
in devils busted loose under nys feet.
l swear if Gabrul's trumpet makes a
noise like that therell be a passed. of
country folks plowin' through the
ground and Dustin off coffin lids when
1t cuts loose on Judgment day"
THAT won't happen again, Mr..
Suggs," said an, attendant, soothingly.
There's a rule against horns in the
show, anyway"
There ought to be rule agin 'em
on the road" returned Uncle Hi. pee
vishly. why can't they tote bell
like my chicken Vaughn? Never heerd
OF me runnin' over nobody, did you?''
Mr.. Suggs' friend and sponsor was
quietly pointing out the old man to a
salesman.
Some Solid Comfort.
See the old farmer? He looks like
a back number, but he's got all kinds
| Of coin. You can sell him a car il
you go at him right, and don't let him
get started on the weather" was the
Atlanta mans tip. The salesman woke
UP.
II there's anything Uncle HI likes
next to talking, it is listening to anoth-
er man talk, especially if he has a fine
flow of language, and this motor sales
man knew words Uncle Hi had never
dreamed of. The old man bit off g
fresh chew, offered the plug to the
bystanders, accepted a cigar which he
tucked into his vest pocket. and sal
down on a fore wheel to listen. Fol
rs minutes the salesman discussed
horsepower, differentials, electric start
ers, Cylinder bore, stroke and uphol-
stery. He lifted the hood and showed
Uncle Hi where the gas went in. how
1t was exploded and what happened
next.
III you're thinking of buying q car
you couldn't do better than try THU
one" he concluded at last.
''Who, me?" returned the old man
in amazement. Me buy one of then
things? I'd look a sight comm inter
town with that there parlor on wheels
all filled up with chickens and eggs anG
turnip green's, now wouldn't -"
Hi Gets on His Favorte Subject.
| ooh you'd use this for a pleasure
car" explained the salesman, conf
IDENTIFY. "Of course you could buy g
light gas truck for marketing, or stick
to your wagon. But this would be the
thing for you and Mrs. Suggs to drive
to town in and to drive round the coun.
try this pretty weather. We're going
to have the prettiest fall you ever saw
II you'll let me take"
Pretty fall, eh ?" interrupted Uncle
Hi. Pretty fall? Why, son, you cam
tell your Uncle HI nothing about
weather l been a studdyin' the wealth
er sense the spring Of '63 and I aim
never gone wrong yet. Now, you may
know somethin' about autymobiles-
anyway, you've got conversation
enough about 'em--but when 1t comes
to weather! Why, let me tell you, son
I'm the only man who predicted the bis
freeze of 80. I'm the man"
But the salesman had surrendered
Pleading date with customer, h
melted into the wilderness of cars\anC
Uncle Hi strolled on down the line.
Looks Over the "coops."
The old man climbed into an cleo
trio coupe and smeared mud on it,
whipcord lining He put his finger OF
spark plug in a cutaway engine ant
got shock which made him swear
He tried every tire in the show TO SCI
II he could squeeze a dent in 1t, great
" to his disappointment, He asked
the price Of everything from q tool boz
to a six-cylinder limousine. But non'