davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
Tho Label Was Plain.

At the last annual banquet of the
Indiana Society of Chicago Strickland
Gillian told story which he began
with the statement that ''Hoosiers re-
quire no more Identification than a
Kansas hotel keeper named Ed Wood
an Englishman. who stammered copi
ously. Ed went home to visit his Eng.
lish cousins. When he got back as far
as little old-whatever the towns name
is-he found his stock Of ready money
rather short. So he wired to his Kan
sas banker to send him SITS. Smith
the banker, wired to Ed. Have sent
money care Kuhns & Co. To Kuhns &
Co. he wired: Pay to Ed Wood SITS
my account. Wood may be identified
by stammer.'
when Wood got back to Kansas he
went to see his banking friend
Essay, J-joe. those K-k-kuhns peo-
PIE are the finest s-s-set of g-gentlemen
| ever m-met. | went around there and
said, did Joe S-s-s-smith s-s-send me
s-ssome m-money" They said. "Y-yes."
s-said. "Sh-sh-shell 'er out They
h-h-h-handed it out to me and nm never
asked for any decentralization
Chicago Tribune.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
An Enraqed Gander.

A man who was caught in the act
of skinning a neighbours sheep covered
his embarrassment by declaring that
no sheep could bite him and live. The
logic of this is equaled by that Of The
soldier who once had narrow escape
from an enraged gander. The men OF
a certain Maine regiment. which was
in the enemy's country in 1862. con
sidered the order mo foraging" an
additional and uncalled for hardship
One afternoon about dusk soldier
was seen beating a rapid retreat from
the rear Of farmhouse near by. close
ly pursued by a gander with wings
outspread. whose feet seemed scarcely
to touch the ground and from whose
beak issued succession of angr,
screams The fugitive was not reas
sured by the cries Of the gander's
owner: Hold on, man. hold on! He
won't hurt your Call off your gan
der! Call him off," shouted the fleeing
soldier. Neither man nor gandel
stopped until inside the camp lines
when the soldiers friends relieved him
of his fierce pursuer with the aid of
the butt of a musket. Did that gan
der think he could chase me like that
and liver the soldier exclaimed as he
surveyed the outstretched bird. but he
said nothing of the baited hook. with
cod line attached. which might have
thrown light on the unfortunate gan
der's strange actions
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
- The -
Scrap Book
Deserved to Escape.

Though he has solemn, glum look
ing face, with which he could qualify
for ticket seller in theater box office,
Senator Clarence Watson of West Vir-
g1nia is in reality jovial citizen. He
can be depended on to come through
with a good story on an average Of
once every ten days or two weeks.
Watson used to have a friend. by
name Doc Cook, who drifted to the
West Virginia coal fields and opened
up studio for ministering to the
wants Of the MANNED and diseased
Later on he started sanitarium. The
first patient to enter there up and died
with much dispatch; also the second
patient; likewise the third. So it went
until the sanitarium was popularity con-
fused with the idea of morgue.
Then a delirium tremens victim en-
tered the sanitarium The second
night he was there he became fretful
and climbed out of Il second story
window. DOC" Cook. having few
helpers. started to chase The patient
in person. But the d. t. man was a
feet runner. and after they had gone
a mile and a half DER hill and dale
the doctor sat down on rock, ex-
hausted, and muttered to himself:
"Oh. well, let the blamed fool go
He's the first one that ever got away
alive" -Philadelphia Ledger.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
Rouoh on the Major,

Captain links was giving party and
had arranged a nice little toast list in
Difference to the presence of Major
Clacquer. an able after dinner speaker
The latter was attended by his wife. Il
very deaf old lady. who was much III
tached to him. As the gallant officer
was to reply to the toast of THE
Babies his wife. knowing his fond
ness for children, judged that ii would
suit him admirably At the last mo-
ment, however. the majors subject. I'm
known to Mrs. Clacquer. was changed
to THE Ladies'" But it made no diff
ference to the officer. and his si'arkiin"
ppeech delighted the company
A lady congratulated the maior'>
wife upon her husbands brilliant IF
fort.
"Oh. Mrs. H." she replied. you
don't know how fond the major is of
them. I've seen him with two or tire:
on his lap at once
"Oh. Caroline" gasped the major
who had overheard the conversation
"Just teasing the life out of the poor
things" went on his wife wholly oh
livious to the shouts of laughter.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
LEGAL ADVERTISEMENTS
Election Proclamation.

BY authority Of Act SO Of the General
Assembly of the State OF Louisiana OF
1912 and by authority of resolution OF
the Police Jury Of the Parish of Bossier,'
adopted August q, 1912, notice is here
by given that an election is hereby called
and will be held throughout the Parish
Of Bossier on Tuesday, November s.,
1912, at which election there will be
submitted to the qualified electors OF
said Parish of Bossier the proposition
for ratification or rejection of said Act
80 Of 1912, p'soviding for the removal Of
the parish seat from Benton to Bossier
City.
At said election the ballots shall be
For the renxval Of the parish seat from
Benton to ssier City" and against
removal of t parish seat from Benton
to Bossier Cfsy." If at said election
two thirds OF the qualified electors OF
said Parish Of Bossier shall be in favor
of removal of said parish seat from
Benton to Bossier City, the Police Jury
shall declare the parish seat removed to
said Bossier City, and shall provide
| temporary quarters for the same at said
| Bossier City while the new court house
! is being erected.
The Police Jury at its regular meeting
in October, or as soon thereafter as
practicable, shall appoint three commits
sioners and one clerk at each polling
place in the parish, who shall make their
returns to the said Police Jury, who shall
meet on the following Tuesday after the
election and cansass the returns and
proclaim the result of said election.
The election herein provided shall be
held under the general election laws, in
SO far as they are not in conflict with
Act So of 1912, and at the polling places
established by law.
Thus done and signed on this, the 9th
day of August, 1912. J. G. LOGAN,
President Police Jury Of Bossier Parish, La.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
HAD A READY ANSWER.
A Brakeman Who Wasn't Awed by Old
Commodore Vanderbilt.

A Brakeman Who Wasn't Awed by Old
Commodore Vanderbilt.
One day while old Cornelius Wander
bilt was riding on the New York Cen
trail his car was stopped near point
at which a freight crew was at work
A brakeman was trying to make il
coupling opposite Vanderbilt's car. but
the link would not fit. In those days
there were no automatic couplers.
Three times the brakeman shocked
'em backward and forward. but failed
to couple them The engineer became
angry, halted his locomotive and. lean
ing from the cab window. abused the
brakeman for his lack of skill.
The brakeman bawled a torrid re-
tort: then, to relieve his feelings. he
snatched the offending link from the
drawbar and threw 1t with all his
strength into a creek. At that moment
he became aware that a side whisker
ed gentleman was observing him with
marked disfavor from the platform Of
a private car. A second glance con
f1rmed the brakeman's impression that
he had been watched by Commodore
Vanderbilt.
young man." said Mr.. Vanderbilt.
Il saw you Do you knoi. whose prop
erty you've been throwing into the
creeky"
"Oh, yes, sir" was the prompt.
courteous response.
"Well, whose Is itY'
"The Pennsylvania railroads. SIR
the brakeman answered
"Uh-h!' Mr. Vanderbilt grunted. com
pletely disconnected by the unexpected
reply.
The door of his private car slammed!
a moment later. The brakeman. whist
ling what he considered tune. robbed
car on the siding of its link and made
the coupling.-New York Post.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
WAS THE sEE-GAR LIGHTED?"

without any claws in it and perfecto
cigar. Then he told him how he ap-
preciated his work and adjured him
to keep it up
The district dignitary slowed ava,
the perfecto to smoke Of a Sunday and
after he had lighted 1t took spin on
the handcar to put it all over the fore
man of the adjoining section
The latter listened to the narrative
with poorly assumed control.
"Was the see-gar lighted when be
gave it to ye?" he inquired.
Not on yer life! Why so?''
"Well. because he STINT for me three
months ago-alongside of his garland
thrun wan at me. but it was burnin'"
Chicago Post
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
Couldn't Bend tho Horns.

After somewhat hilarious night a
farmer called up his son before it was
light and told him to go and harness
the donkey. The young man obcyed
but did not take light with him. 1t
SO happened that the night before had
been very frosty. and an old cow had
strayed into the stable and driven the
donkey out. Thinking the young man
long time absent, the father went to
ascertain the cause of the delay
Jack, what are you doing?" he called
when he found the stable in darkness
why. can't get the collar over the
donkey's head" replied Jack. Ills
ears are frOZen!'
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
A Comfortable Position.

When Fraulein Braune came to this
country she discovered chat she had
not yet mastered English as it is spo
ken. though she had studied her Eng
fish grammar carefully ZACH. yes. !
shall remember" she said. This win
dow above the door Is the tr:,nsom.
the transom. did not know that
word. And you call this Il register:
Yes. shall learn that name" Not
long after the dignified German lady
astounded some visitors by asserting:
"Oh. no. l have not found this coun
try cold l have been very comfortable
sit all day with my feet over the
trunsom."
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
Succession Sale.
Succession Of Kennis Jones, deceased
In District Court. BO88ier Parish. LO

Succession of Kennis Jones, deceased.
In District Court, Booster Parrish, La.
DY virtue of commission issued to
OF Bossier Parish, La, in the above en-
titled succession, will offer for sale, on
terms hereinafter stated, and according
to law, at public auction to the last and
highest bidder, at the front door of the
Court House, in the town OF Benton, La,
during the legal hours OF sale on Satur-
day, September %, 1912, the following
described property, to-wit:
The undivided half interest in the west
half of southeast quarter and southwest
quarter OF section ", township 10, range
II, containing 24O acres, the undivided
half belonging to the succession being
100 acres, valued and appraised at $3.50
per acre, making a total for the land of
$3.50. Also, head of cattle, appraised
at $40; mule, appraised at $40; horse,
appraised at $40; old wagon, appraised
at $40; l old buggy, appraised at $40; l
shotgun, appraised at $40; farming
utensils, appraised at $40; 10 acres in
cotton, estimated at 2 bales and valued
at $50; II acres in corn, estimated at Is
bushels and valued at $40; half acre in
ribbon cane, valued at $3.50; half acre
in potatoes, valued at $3.50; quarter
acre in peas, valued at S.. The total
valuation being $500.
Terms of Sale-For cash, if the ap-
praisement or two-thirds thereof be bid,
else on credit, according to law.
MARY j. JONES,
Administrative of said Succession.
September IL, 1912. s7-s
Homestead Entry No. o. .OS4.
Department Of the Interior,)
U. S. Land Office at Baton Rouge, La, :
September 10, 1927
NOTICE is hereby given that Robert
IN L. Young, of Adner, La, who, on
March "a, 1911, made Homestead Entry
No. GA, 084 for the south half of north
west quarter and lots 1, and Of Sec
ton 80, township 10 north, range IL
west, Louisiana Meridian, has filed no
tice of intention to make communication
proof, to establish claim to the land
above described, before the Clerk of
| Court, at Benton, La, on the 18th day
of October, 1912.
Claimant names as witnesses: N. A.
Shaw and Lucian Burks of Adner, La,
R. A. Holmes of Linton, La, and A. J.
Burks of Cotton Valley, La.
JOHN F. NUTTALL, Register.
September 10, 1912. oct2
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
Make the Best Of II,

You'll find 1t hard on this old earth
To turn your sorrow into mirth.
You scarce can make a Jest of it,
But as you go the journey through.
Whatever Is, you'll find that you
Can always make the best of It.
Misfortune darkens every sky.
But not so much for those who try
To see the silver side of it.
Misfortunes may be hard to bear,
But every one must have his share,
And no one yet has died of it.
So. be the burden what 1t may.
And let there come the darkest day.
With sorrow and the rest of it.
You cannot alter what must be
Or turn the noise to melody,
But all can make the best Of 1t.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
Homestead Entry No. Oh, $40.

Department OF the Interior,
U. s. Land ONCE at Baton Rouge, La,
August 80, 1912.
NOTICE is hereby given that Homer
~ Rutherford of Ninock, La, who, on
Jan. q, 1904, made Homestead Entry
No. 03,87O, for lots II and IL of section
8, township Is north, range 10 west,
Louisiana Meridian, has filed notice OF
intention to make five year proof, to
establish claim to the land above de-
scribed, before the U. S. Commissioner,
at Shreveport, La, on the 18th day OF
October, 1912.
Claimant names as witnesses: Mack
Kellum, Earl Monroe, Robert Germany
and Lee Monroe, all of Ninock, La.
JOHN F. NUTTALL, Register.
Bossier Banner, Benton, La. se-e
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
Tanning 1'ennyson.

OF Tennyson it is related in Nuts
and Chestnuts" that at club dinner he
insisted on putting his feet upon the
table before the guests had risen All
efforts to make him behave failed
until Brookfield (Old Brooks of the
sonneh whispered: do take your legs
down, Alfred. They're saying you're
Longfellow" Down went the legs
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
No Honor at All.

A section foreman on one of the
great lines came under the notice of
the president Of the road who had
been observant of the manner in
which the track had been maintained
Having graduated from humble 20
sition, the officer knew what it meant
to get a pat on the back
He called the section boss to the side
of his car, gave him u drink of whisky
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
Homestead Entry No. O3, 100.

IIOIHCSSCdu LHCIy No. Va, 1Ds
Department Of the Interior,
U. S. Land Office at Baton Rouge, La,
August ~, 1912.
NOTICE is hereby given that Ben
~ Hogan of Koran, La, who, on July
8, 1907, made Homestead Entry Appli-
cation No. 03, 799, for the northeast quar-
ter Of northeast quarter of section "a,
township 16 north, range Ii west, Lou
isiana Meridian, has filed notice Of in
tention to make final five year proof, to
establish claim to the land above de-
scribed, before the Clerk of Court, at
Benton, La, on the 18th day of Octo-
Der, 1912.
Claimant names as witnesses: Chas.
Lott, Tom Hogan, Chas. Woodson and
Andrew Smallwon, all of Koran, La.
JOHN F. NUTTALL, Register.
Bossier Banner, Benton, La. 1915
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19

The implicit confidence that many
people have in Chamberlain's Collie,
Cholera and Diarrhea Remedy is
founded on their experience in the use
Of that remedy and their knowledge Of
the many remarkable cures of collie,
diarrhna and dysentery that it has
effected. For sale by all dealers.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19

Wy I The Cosmopolitan Group
" 6nVfO requires the services of
representative in Bos-
sier Parish and surrounding territory to look
after subscription renewals and to extend circu-
lation by special methods which have proved I'M
usually successful. Salary and commission
Previous experience desirable but not essential.
Whole time or spare time. Address, with refer
ences, Charles C. Schwer, The Cosmopolitan
Group, 3sl Fourth Avenue, New York City. 49,
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19
No. 666

This is prescription prepared especially for
Chills and Fever. Five or six doses will break
any case of Chills and Fever, and if taken then
as tonic the Fever will not return. 1t acts on
the liver better than Calomel and does not grippe
or sicken. Price, 25 cents. 1913
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1912-09-19

Get the Banner free one year oy Sc
curing US three new cash subscribers.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1912-10-12
MEN INCREASE IN v. S.
Number Of Women Do Not Keep
PAce-Males Show Decrease
in Colorado

Dcnver-Males have increased
more rapidly than females in the
United States between the years 1900
and 1910. according to figures recent
ly compiled by Director Durand OF
the federal census bureau.
The federal census for 1910 shows
there we're 47,332.277 males and a.,
G39.9S9 females, or LOG males for
every 100 females. Ten years ago
there were 1914 males to every 100 fe-
males.
The excess of males in the United
States is attributed to the extensive
immigration.
The male population in Colorado as
q whole, however. has decreased 4 per
cent. during the last ten years, while
IN Denver it has increased 2.3 per
cent.
The population of Colorado for 1910
was 799,024. including A30,697 males
and 3GS,327 females. or 1l6.9 males for
every 100 women. Denver, with a pop
ulation of 213,3Sl in 1910, contained
107, 1895 males and l05,9S6 females.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1912-10-12
COLORADO STATE NEWS

rer cent. in prices of foodstuus ~
Denver in the last year are SHOWN D.
bulletin Just issued by tne
States Bureau of LABOR.
The Rev. J. C. Jacoby. D. D. pas'ot
of the Trinity Lutheran churcn u
Boulder, has rendered his resignation
to accept a call TO the St John Lutn-
eran church in Wellington, Kan.
The funeral OF Mrs TheoGalc, VINO
was accidentally killed at her ranch IN
the Bergen Park region, occurred d
the home place, interment being mace
in the Idaho Springs cemeteTy
The second coming of Christ is not
a figure o. speech, but fact OF scrip
ture," declared the Rev. J. {. rage oi
the Second Congregational church III
his Sunday morning sermon al Denver
Charles w. Frickey, who shot and
killed William f. Swan, September 20
pleaded net guilty TO the charge OF
murder in the West Side Court IN Den
yer. The case was set for trial NO
vember IS.
Two thousand Greeks in Colorado
are ready to respond TO a war call OF
the fatherland in less than week, ac-
cording to George Allison and A.
Rally. leaders among the Greek people
OF Denver.
Acting on the recommendations OF
the State Board OF Stock Inspection,
Governor Shafroth has raised the
against the Importation OF horses and
mules from Kansas. Nebraska and
Missouri
James and Jess Mccarthy, who Are
mining a copper claim above timber
line on Mount Blanca, report a herd
of wild horses running, loose on the
sand dunes of the Uncompahgre range
Of mountains, southwest OF Mount
Blanca and Mosca pass.
Neither work nor age have terrorf
! for the brave heart OF Mrs. Mary
Jones, who, though eighty-three years
old and possessed OF a sixty-twoycar
old son, three grandchildren and iii
teen grcst-grandchiidren, is as spry al
cricket. Recently she ate breakfas
at a. n, SO as to como to Denver K
prove up" on 160-acre dry lant
homestead staked near Fort Luptor
/ three years ago.
One of the youngest mothers or
record is at the Florence Crittentor
home with her baby. She is Jewe
Smith, twelve years old. The chile
gave birth to baby boy. According
to the authorities at the Home tht
youngest mother on record in Denve
was a girl of eleven who gave brtl
to baby at the institution. The bab.
died a few days after birth. The cir
came from good family
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1912-10-12
Minor ention.

Craig1 first permanent electric light
plant is in operation.
Chief of Police O'Neill of Denver has
given 'rders that minors be kept of
Of Market street.
Mrs. Carrie Sophia Hetzler. age thir-
ty, died suddenly at Boulder from
eclantsia.
booked for Denver, TO open Oct. IA.
and last two days.
The Pueblo Commercial Club has ap-
pointed committee to audit the
books of all the city and county Of
ficials.
Judson Harmon, governor OF ONO,
was the guest OF honor at an informal
banquet given by Colorado Democrats
in Denver.
Estimates by sheep feeders place the
number OF sheep TO be fed this year in
the northwestern Colorado district, at
about 100000.
An interesting expel iment is being
conducted by the Bank OF Meeker and
prospector who claims to be radi-
I'm expert.
Plans have been completed and 81
500 subscribed for the rebuilding and
enlarge ement OF the First Baptist
church at Salida.
s p. Wear has been appointed game
wal den for the district comprising Rio
Blanco, Routt and Moffat counties,
vice Robert Norvell
In a collision of two automobile
trucks at Pueblo. Fred Elsin. sixteen,
was thrown TO the pavement and prob
ably fatally injured.
The home of Barcley Sanders was
the scene of pleasant gathering
planned by his Boulder friends in com
memoration OF his eightyeighth birth
day.
When Judge Graham convened Dis
trict Court at Boulder he faced the
heaviest docket in years, forty two
criminal and over two hundred civil
cases
Following a night OF drinking. John
! R. Hanson committed suicide at Du.
range in the county jail by shooting
himself through the head with re.
yolver
| More than 100 persons are securing
the hills in the vicinity OF Brown s
lake in search Of Howard Carpenter
who disappeared from hunters camp
on Elk creek.
| The body OF Frank Kostansky, at
tired in woman's garb. was found in
| the cellar of his home at Loyeland by
his daughter. He ended his life by
strangulation.
| Advances averaging more than ten
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1912-10-12
Inexperienced.

In boarding house for bachelors.
Amanda, typical Nanny" looked al
ter the guests comfort in true south
ern style SO well that one OF the men
thought he would take her away with
him in the summer in the capacity OF
housekeeper. Toward spring he way
laid her in the hall one day and said:
Mandy, do you like the country?
Mandy reckoned she did.
Would you like to go away with
me this summer and keep house for
me?"
Mandy was sure she would.
Suppose l get just bungalow. DO
you think you could take care OF 1t
nicely by YOURSELF"
Mandy gasped and rolled her eyes.
Deed, no, massa! Reckon you all
better get somebody else; l don't
know nothin' about taking care of any
animals! s!"-Harpers Magazine.