The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-03-28

"This beats the Skull and Keys initiation - re- member saying.
 With her little postagestamp of handkerchief she dried my forehead and lips.
 The worst was yet to had seen Madame act: had never acted scene aoitb her under full pressure The rehearsals childs play compared with what met me at my second entrance It took me so by surprise that for a moment I thought it personal; perhaps on account of the zzIe had made of my first scene
 Monster! Assassinr' she shrieked springinc upon me like beast in the jungle. Her hand was af my throat Her hot breath was in my face Her eyes were pushing out from under her forehead There. was saliva on her lips and the words possessed fangs that crashed through my brain and stunned me I lodged. Naturally, dueked. Who wouldn't? was supposed to catch her wrist with hand and put her masterfully into a chair. DeraiL locomotive coming at full speed and with one hand? Between you and me, if hadn't got out of the way should have been projected through the scenery As it was she was projected through the scenery. the effort to catch herself she caught-what do you suppose?- why of course the only thing the stage to catch my nose!
 I howled. Have you ever heard a coyote howl at night on the range? couldn't help it. It was pure reflex. And her clutching fingers carried away half my beard! -+a
 Had it not been for this last mishap the audience might have accepted the rest real It certainly real to both of But to my face suddenly half denuded of the fierce bomb throwing whskers was too much for Chicago. There was a general burst of laughter It crackled and snapped with handclappng
 bunch of crepe hair. like scalp lock- was tangled in Madames fingers. She couldn't shake it on. It was sticky with spirit gum, and when she picked 1t from hand it stuck to the other. In desperation she rubbed it on her skirt and the whiskers remained there like mistletoe an oak. The audience rocked like hillside of flowers hurricane.
 It is remarkable how the effort at selfpreservation had cleared my mind the only one. apparently, the entire theatre either side of the fOotlfxbts who hadn't lost control of himself. My lines clear eIectrotype the page of my mind. went right with my part thoughtfully turning the bald side of my face away from the audience just the damaged sides of the jardineres turned stage But to avail. The act was killed. Supposed to be tragic, with all the preceding building to meodramatic thril it impossible to persuade the audience to take it seriously; and the curtain fell 1abored but uninspred climax.
 Madame didn't speak to me during the rest of the evening. The others glanced at me aSkanee. Politely they refraned from mentioning the mishap, which as good way any of rubbing salt into the wound. And when the performance was at last ended took her around to the College Inn and bought her some oysters.
 "Im going to quit this," said I. "I'm completely Memo doesn't want to- He is wide awake, and resolves: Don't day dream about being leading man with etter-box congested with mash letters, unless you begin at the top or cut out the onenight stands" T
 "You poor child '" said Christie.
 Christie" said I, folding my arms and leaning toward her, "I have postponed saying something to you until could decide about acting. Now that I've decided-and decided to go back to home and mother II want you to come too. Will you? You don't like this business; don't like this business. Let's quit it. Let's go to the ranch to the magnolia trees and the pond lilies no larger than your dear, little, white fist What do you sayW
 "And go out barefoot to milk the n1ce, cream-coi- ored Jersey heifers?"
 "Will you?
 sounds terribly attractive" laughed Christie, with her little, cooing laugh
 "You know my motherd simply go daffy over yoes