The Washington herald., 1912-03-20

A certain DOCTOR has deprived tne house
Of a lot of pieturesqueness by forbidding
Uncle Sam witherspoon to do any more
smoking Except for that order. the man
from Mississippi with the Uncle Sam
whiskers squirting forth from his chin.
would go about puffing at a corncob pipe.
Imagine the joy OF seeing a man who
looks like Uncle Sam" sauntering
through the Capitol with good old
fashioned corncob pipe in his mouth.
All. the unlmaginative doctor!
Uncle Sam" wItherspoon is the man
who at a single bound qualified as one OF
the real orators of the House by a five-
minute patriotic speech the other day.
When he got through there was a regular
subway rush Of members eager to grasp
his band.
"Just shows how a little applause will
encourage a fellow" said Uncle Sam"
TN never forget the first public speech
ever made I was to give q salutatory
address at commencement time. The first
sentence OF my Grafton was 142 words
long and contained more involved phrases
than Henry James ever thought of. be-
sides all the big high-sounding words that
I could gather together in three weeks.
Ny idea was to crowd 50 much learning
into that opening sentence that the crowd
would yell itself hoarse when came to
the period. and I would have plenty OF
time TO catch my breath for the rest OF
the grafton. But the sentence was so
long that nobody was able to remember
what the first of II was about by the
time l had reached the fun stop, and
there was not so much as a murmur of
applause when I had finished. I was so
startled at the dank silence in place of
the tumult had confidently expected
that forgot all the rest of my speech
and sat down"
Representative Steven 3. Ayres, who
represents the Bronx district of New
York City. is obliged to wrinkle up his
brows and think a good deal about water
way improvements. because the Bronx
is surrounded on three sides by water
and the inhabitants thereof go in for all
sorts of docks and channels.
Shortly after he arrived IN Washing
ton. Ayres went to dinner one night
and sat next to a quiet elderly man with
whom he was not acquainted. But they
got into conversation, and the stranger
gathered that Ayres was a member OF
Congress.
MAY I ask" he inquired politely. "if
you are especially interested in any par
ticular line here2''
"Oh. yes" said Ayres, Il am greatly
interested in waterway improvements.
Know anything about that sort Of
thing?"
"A littIe." said the other man.
well. it's a big subject" Ayres told
him "and imagine II would interest
you IL you looked into st." And he gave
his new acquaintance a good deal of
Information that he had recently picked
up on the topic.
A week later Ayres learned that his
table mate was Gen. william II. Bixby.
who is in charge Of all waterways i'm
provements In the United States. and
knows more about the subject than any
human living.
Later on Ayres ara Bixby became great
friends. and the latter expressed his
gratitude for the .. 8. course In river and
harbor improvements.
Ralph Cameron. until recently Dele
cate from Arizona, the man who built
and owns the trail into the Grand Can
yon, had Postmaster General Hitchcock
for his guest a summer or two ago. and
the Postmaster General descended into
the vast canyon on burrp provided by
Cameron.
The trail is as much as a yard wide in
places. and IL one grows tired Of sticking
to the tran proper. it's only l0ooo or so
down to the next landing.
"Just have confidence in your mount"
said Cameron. "and you'll have nothing
to worry about. That little burro Is as
sure footed as a cat"
Very good. but the burro was one of
those alecky ones. He liked to show how
close he could walk to the edge Of the
precipice without going over. II there
happened to be stone In the middle OF
the path. he Invariably went around II
toward the outside. Once he paused to
nibble a tuft OF grass clear over the
edge Of the cliff. Hitchcock retained his
composire only by a supreme effort.
"Oh. II looks dangerous. Of course" said
Cameron. when they had reached the
bottom, but all you have to do is put
plenty OF confidence IN your mount. as
I told you before.
II did II all right" muttered Hitchcock,
IT put more confidence In that little runt
Of a mule than most men have In their
wives. or the stability OF the American
government
Back in the days when senator Cur
It's. OF Kansas. was horse Jockey. he.
rode in = race one day where enc OF
the other jockeys was colored boy.
There was . general spill on the back