The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1912-08-30
|"Mr. Dooley on Corporal Punish
oent By FTP. Dunno, in Golfers International Short Stories


-. down East have been petition
mo to be allowed to slug tn young"
"How's that?" asked Mr.. Hen
messy. a..
"Well," said Mr.. Dooley, they
,r thew can't do anything with
those tender little growths unless
I.bev use a club. They want the
hS-d iv iddycation to resthore
that's called corporal punishment
that is, tn fun iv lickin' some
one that can't fight back. Says wan
" thin: TIL little vans undher
o,,r care are far from bein' tn small
angels that they look. AS matter
r. fact they are rebellyous monsthers
that must be suppressed by vigorous
an, says he, stern measures. Is
Il right says he, that us school
masthers shud daily risk our lives
at tn hands iv these feerocious and
t;oerish inimies of human s'ciety
vitbout havin' a chance to pound
thin? Yisterdah golden haired
imp of perdition placed a, tack in
me- chair. Today I found a dead
rot in the desk. At times they
write opprobyous epithets about me
on tn blackboard; at other times
crood but pinted carrycachures.
Nawthin' will control thin. They
burl the murdherous spitball. They
mil tn braid iv tn little girl.
Thew fire baseballs through tn win
dows. Sometimes Jumps iv chewin'
gum are found undher their desks
where they have stuck thin f'r fur
ther use. They shuttle their feet
when Pm narvous. They look
around thin when they think I'm
not lookin'. They pass notes gross
" insultin' each other. Moral
suasion does no good. I have tried
writin' to their parents askin' thin
to cripple their offspring, an tn
parents have come over and offered
to fight me. I've tried keepin'
thin afther school, maxim thin
write compositions an shakin' the
milk teeth out iv thin, but to nc
avail. Me opinyon is that tn av'-
rage small boy is a threecherous,
dangerous crather like tn Apachy
Indyan an that tn only thing to
do with him is to slam him with a
wagon spoke,' says he.
An the board iv iddycation is
discussin' tn petition. 1t CAM
quite make up its mind whether
Solomon wasn't right. Solomon
said, according to Hogan, Spite tn
rod and save tn child. He must We
had large family if he was any
where near Tiddy Rosenfelt's law
iv averages. I don't see how he
could've spared time f'r writin' from
correctin' his family. He must've
set up nights. Anyhow, the board
iv iddycation is discussin' whether
it is right or not. I don't know
mys'lf. All I know is that if l was
life insurance canvasser or Goa
dealer that made me illegible to be
a mimber of the board of iddyca-
cation, and an le-bodied man SIX
feet tall come to me FIR permission
to whale a boy three feet tall, I'd
say, I don't know whether you are
compitint. Punishin' people ray.
quires special trainin'. It AIM
N'rybody that's suited for tn job
Ye might bungle 1t. Just take of
ye'er coat an vest an step into tn
next room an be examined. An
IN tn next room the ambitious id.
dycator would find James J. Jeffrys
or some other akely efficient expert
ready for him and if he come back
alive he'd have certy, ficate en-
utlln' him to whsck any little boy
ne met-except mine.
Sure there'd be very few people
to say they believed in corporal pun
ishment if corporal punishment was
gen'ral. l wudden't give anyone
tne right to lick a child that wanted
W lick a child. No one should bt
iicSed till he's too old to take a lick
ing If it is right to larrup an in