Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1912-11-26

Purity good theory, but, like most thee
ries, it was faulty in Jest one petick.
Ter.
well, you'd ought to "a seen Mr..
Gobbler. Gentlemen, take my word
for it or not, in one months time it
was big as horse, an by the first O
November it was bigger n an ele-
plant
along come a huckster. buyin'
Thanksgivin' turkeys. Lowed he'd
pay 20 cents a pound for 'em. ! SEE
to him l had one gobbler I'd sell him,
pervidin he'd take it alive. Told him
/ was busy man, what with my re-
searchin' an other scientific work, an
didn't have no time for KILN an
cleanin' turkeys. Huckster said he'd
take tn gobbler jest as it stood. So I
piked off to tn back corner O. tn
farm, let down tn bars, an 'druv tn
gobbler up to tn college.
Honest, ! was scared of 1t myself.
It stood twenty feet high, an built &C.
cordin'. That turkey was big enough
to furnish church dinners for all tn
churches in this state. But it was as
gentle as lamb. Only thing about 1t
was its voice. I'd forgot to tell about
that. When 1t gobbled it made more
noise than a house afire. Well,
drove it up to tn college, an tn fac
ulty an tn huckster an tn students
an all was there-an' they blame nigh
died with establishment.
"Just think how you'd feel II all
Of a sudden right down lane would
come turkey as big as freight car,
an If just when 1t got about forty feet
from you it spread tail as big as
circus tent and began gobbling in
voice that could be heard in the next
county. Why, tn faculty nachly duck
ed right inside tn college instanter,
an tn huckster was SO scaret he jump
ed into his wagon an tried to hide in
one of his coops that was full Of roost-
ers an hens an turkeys an guineas.
Then my turkey, bein' q shy and tim
i'd creetur, got scaret, too, an it
few up on top o. tn Hall O. Lib'ral
Arts an let out q gobble that sounded
ike a million freight trains BLOWN
'or tn flag man all at once. Seem.
ID like that was tn first time it ever
Knew it could fly. 1t Topped its wings
,nce or twice, knocking all tn climb
eys off tn buildin' in tn exercise, an
hen started right up in tn air, an
vas never seen since. No. sirs, no
'ody ever seen hide nor feather Of 1t
rom that day to this.
$50 that was why lost my job at
h college. Alphabet he got sore be-
ause I'd stole his quick-growin 'medi-
inc, an tn rest O. tn faculty got
mad because they'd got scared over
title scientific experiment They pass
d tn word around an couldn't get
york at no other college in tn coun-
ry, SO at last made up my mind to
ettle down here in what is as near
oblivion as l can find an seek to be
orgotten. l wouldn't a. told you fell
ers about thishyere turkey, only
now you'll respec' my confidence"
What became Of the huckster,
lm'zi?" asked Lafayette Allen, tug
ing at his whiskers.
well, now, that's just what started
1e to rememberin' thishyere turkey. l
aw that same huckster goin' through
own today, an how knowed 1t. was
i'm was that he kept watchin' the sky
II tn time, expectin to see thishyere
turkey come down to roost."
That's pretty near as good a story,
Am'zi," said the grocer. preparing to
lose the store for the night, "as you
sually tell me when dun you for
hat little bill Of yours"