The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-25

alley, on the other side of the bank | looking for me to beat the band Tee. | hee, That's a joke, boys And the next | day when l got a pair of socks and a--n | "Old Bill Crew was captured by the
 Yankees, and got away from them,
 though he liked to have starved to death
 before again reaching our lines" reminis- 1 gently remarked the tax assessor "On | the third day that he had done without
 ratlons he captured a tame poll parrot.
 and straightway proceeded to devour that | bird. Bill decided that the fowl had a | l1inG of ransom taste something like coon, but it was the best substitute for chicken that was handy. The subse- i quent influence of that dlgested bird on William was some disastrous. He felt an irresistible inclination to cuss dogs, and
 eat goobers with his feet He would waddle about all day, and the chaplain Of ahe regiment had to prevent him by force from trying to hatch out some grape shot. Along about Christmas when
 Bill was waddling about the camp and
 mntterins 10 himself: Pretty polly, poly wants cracker one of the boys tron.a North Carolina regiment dropped
 one of these here fat cannon firecrackers
 just south of Bill as William was trying to incubate some doorknobs, and the ex- nloSion tore out the suburban regions Of Williams pants. Them pants wasn't no good as pants any more: but it had a re- straining effect on Bills yearning for cracker. and have often noticed that"
 When I was in Memphis short time
 ago." hastily interrupted the sewing ma- chine agent, l seen the worst scared cat in the southern states. It was lust a plain. runty Thomas H. Cat. with a stub tail. or abbreviated narrative. as the pro-
 lessor would call It. While that cat was | conducting an Atlanta versus Birming- ham argument with a neighbor gentle
 man feline, aud was enthusiasticallv talk
 tug handsfull of fur from the frontis- piece of the aforesaid, an organ grinder
 came along with one of these here fussy little mankeys. The minute that monk | observed that mouser he sat up and be-
 gan to make war medicine. and in about two shakes of a sheeps tail he lit off Of
 the organ grinders box, and landed. all
 spradded out, on the back of that as | tonished Tabby. jabbering like a flutter-
 mill and pulling out varied assortment | of cat hair and meat from the back Of
 ths Tom
 Never in all his nine lives had that cat
 seen Il monkey. and he seemed to think
 of something all at once that had es-
 caped his mind before. and Immediately | left that spot
 l About nine feet was the length of that
 eats first step. which he increased as he | proceeded. Splitting and rowling every
 iumr, he ran against a telegraph pole
 and dislodged the holt of the monkey | from lis back to his tail. He took on a | fresh head of steam when the Monk made | a final grab and carried away the tip end | of his tail. and by this time that eat
 seemed to be losing his reason. He sprang up on table, in a shoe factory, where | some sewing machines were running by
 electricity. and before that cat could get l away that machine took S79 stitches in his | stub tail, firmly sewing a set of six eye | lets for shoe. to his caudal appendage. l Funny thing about it was that the cat
 came hack next day, hanging around the -maohiiie and moving and it was long
 time before the operator could get through
 him that what the cat wanted was to