Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1912-04-18

The Audubon County Farmer is ex-
periencing a sort of cup in the air.
feeling this week. My intentions last
week were, as you all know, to get
some of those California cattle with
safety valve equipment, but just now
| have letter from the Wright broth
ers who want me to be their guest on
an airship trip across the sea in July,
1854, and this proposition sort of puts
my mind off everything else that's
happened between now and after
while. They want me to report the
the trip for the Journal and the Paris
newspapers and my pay will be so big
that if the dollars were piled one on
top of the other there wouldn't be
enough brains beneath the moon to
calculate the height. All this looks
pretty good to me, but have one big
fault that might throw all my pros
poets in the soup and that is that |
was born fifty years too soon. The
big question that [ have to battle
with is, how am going to live anoth-
er As years when am So years already.
And if drink Florida cows milk now
and trot along another As autums is
that any proof that the Wright broth
ers will behave themselves and not
break their necks before that time.
When a man gets into such a stew
as this he always consults the women
folks for calm answer, and so at the
breakfast table put the question be-
fore.Le lengthwise, crosswise, end
wise, and was just going to turn it
sidewise when she put in a word edge
wise that settled everything-except
the coffee. Well, l guess there will
be no airship excursion for me-unless
l drink enough Florida cows milk to
be the last one in the family. But you
can't fool the cook, for she is tiddling
around the Florida milk, too. And
that isn't all by far shot. We are
getting so careful around this diggin'
that, an accident insurance agent
would have to live on wind to acct
dentally make a living here. We are
beginning to appreciate life SO much
that death couldn't touch us with a
a ninety foot fence rail. | am trying
to outlive Lena and she is trying to
outliye me. If | live the longest |
will get an airship ride across the sea,
a pile of money, and might see the
inside of whales stomach, thus end
ing my career in head cheese fashion.
IflLena lives the longest she will COL
lect $247.73 life insurance, wear con-
ventional black, and carry out her
agreement not to make coo coo eyes
to another living soul except our pet
cat. The race is off!
Alas! here is the rub again: Lena
being seven years younger is seven
years ahead of me, SO will have to
live mighty fast life to catch up and
pass during that time. With that
impression | scanned the sky this
morning and all looked serene to me.
The fog that rose from Troublesome
creek mingled with the zephyrs that
blew DER the onion patch, and of
they scampered, like children in June
My thoughts were resting, sweet sun
beams stole DER my eyebrows, kissed
the bridge of my nose and laughed in
my face. In that beautiful frame OF
mind / whistled "Gander in the Hay
hitched up old Dick, and drove tt
Extra to see doctor. "Doc," said
chow can live a fast life?" Doc look
ed at me while and the sky turned
gray. And that isn't all; for what
Doc told me put tears in my whiskers
and cramps in my heart. He told mi