Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-11-15
Dinner Stories

A FRENCH governor of the South
~ Pacific colony of New Gale
donia assumed his authority
while the natives in New Caledonia
were still cannibals. There had been
rumors of an instruction, and the adj
miral called before him a native chief
who was faithful to the French cause
and questioned him as to their truth.
You may be sure said the native.
that there will be no war at present.
because the vans ire yet far from
being ripe" 1.-THE yams, you say?"
Yes. Our people never make war
except when the yams are ripe"
"Why is that Because baked yams
go so very well with the captives."
During the latter part of the Civil
War Basil Gildersleeve lay one day
apparently al the point of death, sur
rounded by several members of his
family. Brother" he murmured
family, 81 have, at most, only a few
days to live, and when / am laid at
rest I want you to have my new pair
of boots in the closet yonder. | paid
$3.50, Confederate, for them, and you
are sorely in need of a pair" Instead
of the expected burst of gratitude
there was no answer. Racked with
emotion at the thought of his great
loss, the brother was evidently too
much overcome for speech. Broth
err" persisted the future "immor-
tai" weakly, you mustn't have any
| foolish sentiment about those boots.
| will never be well enough to wear
them again, and it would be poor ex-
travagance to bury me in them
Still the brother, his face flushed, his
heart too full for utterance, made no
reply. won't you promise me to
wear the boots after I am gomez"
Gildersleeve pleaded. Basil" stam-
mered the other, I've got 'em on
now"
A colored attorney walked rapidly
into the courtroom, followed by a
large colored woman. She had her
sleeves rolled up to the elbows and
appeared to have come from the
washtub. Her manner was business
like. "Ah wants to probate nah
husbands WILL" she said. The judge
went through the usual procedure.
He read the will and asked he usual
questions. "And when did he die?"
the Judge asked. "Jes' about a half
hour ago. was the answer.
When in England Governor Foss, of
Massachusetts,, had luncheon with a
prominent Englishman noted for
boasting of his ancestry. Taking a
coin from his pocket, the Englishman
said: MY neutrality-suspicious.
was made q lord by the king whose
picture you see on this shilling"
"Indeedl' replied the overnor, smil-
ing, as he produced another coin.
What a coincidence! My great
great-grandfather was made an
angel by the Indian whose picture
you see on this cent"
When President ". H. Taft was
practising his profession in his home
town he was waging a relentless war
fare against obeseness, andsso quite
naturally he looked upon walking as
a good way by which he could reduce
his figure. In fact, he was so regular
in going to and fro that he was al
ways recognized by the people who
lived on the street along which be
passed.
A young conductor was put on a
run on a line which ran on a street
which President Taft was accustomed
to use. and he wondered why this
large man did not use the street cars,
since they were SO handy. One day
Charles Taft was riding on the back
platform of the car which the young
conductor was managing, and passed
his father walking home. Curiosity
getting the upper hand, the young
conductor asked Charles, Who is
hat fat gink that walks when he can
use the trolley car? l bet you he is
too blamed tight to put up the neces-
sary five centsl"
"Oh," answered Charles, h is my
father!"
A westerner visiting in Boston was
much surprised, when served with
jelly cake, to nave 1t called Wash
| ington pie. He made a mental note
Of this, and when in Washington
asked again for Washington pie"
The waiter brought him a piece of
chocolate cake. He eyed this for
a moment and pushed it from him,
| saying, mo go! want George, not
Booker r."
An Indianapolis public school
teacher some time ago. she relates,
received in her room a small Boy
| from the acknowledgements Dor
derland, and she set about teaching
him the intricacies of addition. She
found he could run up or down a
column of figures readily, but she
could not make him understand how
to Garry from one column to an
other when the total was more than
nine.
Finally the teacher called on one
of the little girls in the class and
told her she would give her a dime
If she could make the newcomer UNI
derstand the process. Next day the
little girl called to claim the money.
"How did you make him see 1t SO
quickly" inquired the teacher.
"Oh. / told him when he got a
number Of two figures to put down