davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
SAYS UNCLE CAV

The advice of that slant-eyed old
Oriental philosopher who remarked
, that "all things except rice, soup and
cotton clothes are only a trouble to
their owners, is good for what ans
some of US. There be folk. in this
world who would amount to more if
they had but one pair of trousers and
these hung by a single "gallus." Too
! many courses spoil the soup and ruin
the disposition, appetite and ambition
of persons who would cut a figure in
this world if they fed sparingly. HUI
man service, which is practical
working synonym for human joy, is
the chief end of life, and they that
are overly familiar with nervous tail
ors and opulent chefs are not likely to
have time to think of healthier things.
A certain amount of economy, a
good deal of temperance and lusty
desire for work seem to go hand in
hand. Taken together they ae a we'll
, nigh invincible combination and make
for success
The chief vice Of luxury of food or
apparel is that neither is altogether
suited to the needs of the body and
both take thought that might be
more profitably employed. Sumptuous
fare and fine linen often seduce and
enslave us. He is a strong man and
more than a master of men who can
withstand the lazy lure of both when
the one suggests and refnforceS the
wiIes of the other.
1t is not altogether good advice
that one wear sackcloth and live upon
bread and water in a fanatical devo-
ton to duty. There be souls who re-
quire such self-immolation, perhaps,
but that is not the way of strong and
healthy men. To be well-balanced be-
tween luxury and economy, labor and
ease, is to be great. Neither extreme
is to be recommended except in cases
requiring radical treatment, which is
perhaps what the Oriental sage had
in mind.
If one be strong and not liable to
ennervation through the charms of
physical luxury. little now and then
TO soften, soothe and revivify With
gentle enthusiasms the body and brain
worn with struggle, is not amiss. For
there are those who become too hard,
who lose their resiliency by excessive
abstemiouSneSS.
He that is incapable of an occa-
sional folly is in quite as hard case
as he whose chief thought is for his
raiment rather than the body it COW
ers, the brain that it should reflect
and the soul with which it should
reflect and the soul with which it
should harmonize- Copyright. 1912
by the Mcclure Newspaper Syndicate }
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
EVENING CHAT
BIZ RUTH CAAERON.

Love is a queer thing
And love is blind" in more ways than
the lovers inability to see the petty
follles they themselves commit" Love is
also blind in the strange ways in which it
gropes and grasps after what it wants in
exactly the wrong direction.
A young woman who has been married
little over a year was telling me of a
recent storm which had rufIed her matri-
monial seas.
1t seems that "himself'-we'n call him
John because that was not his name
mad planned to go Off for the week end
friends.
His wife was mortified Just think of
that, said she, he was going to leave
me for two whole days. You can imag-
inc how heartbroken 1 feIt.'''
He didn't go then? / asked.
i should say not" said the lady. Il
told him it showed he didn't love me any
cried and cried and he was frantic. He
said, of course, he wouldn't go, that he'd
stay at home and do anything L wanted
And so we are going to the theater and
have a little dinner afterwards-his hunt
ing trip would have cost every bit as
much. Isn't that Iovely?"
And you are perfectly satisfied
shouldn't be?"
Why didn't you want John to go?" 1
probed a bit further. Wasn't there any
thing you would have liked to do? Why
didn't you pay us that visit you've prom
"Oh, it wasn't that, 1 could have found
plenty to do. 1t just didn't seem to me
that John loved me the way he used to
if he wanted to go way off like that on his
day off,"
didn't probe any further.
Poor, foolish little woman. She was
satisfied and yet she hadn't in the least
altered the main fact, which was, OF
course, that her husband WANTED to go.
With the eternally feminine weapon she
had forced him to give up the trip, but
he probably WANTED 1t Just as much
ever-if not more.
And yet it was whether he WANTED
to leave her, not whether he DID, that
was the real criterion of his desire for her
society.
think women often make the great
mistake of missing this distinction.
When a jealous woman by tears or
threats makes her husband promise to
give up some other woman's society, she
feels she has accomplished something. In
reality she has accomplished nothing-or
less For she hasn't made him cease
wanting the other woman's presence,
which was, of course, the real issue.
The way to make man prefer ones
society to that of other women most en-
phatically is not to force it on him by
tears and scenes.
The lady of the hunting trip would have
laid a far better foundation for future
and find out how glad he was to get
back to her. The jealous woman can do
nothing by force and exactions, IL must
all be done by tact and by using eyerv
charm she has to the utmost
And love is binder than the proven
bal bat when it fails to recognize these
things.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
.sRuN m nTn

"'RUN 1T OUT"
When you once have hit the ball,
Run 1t out.
Though your chance be great or small.
Run it out.
Many a tumble comes, you know,
Many baseman muffs a throw,
But you're lost unless you goi
Run it out.
Come the best, or come the worst,
Run it out.
You are gone? All right, but first
Run it out.
Would-haye-been or hight-have-been
Never have a chance to win;
Lively now and dig right in!
Run it out.
You may fail? OF course, but still
Run it out.
If you don't, you know you will,
Run it out.
Now alike Is the beginning
OF the losing and the winning
Just an eyelash to an inning
Run it out.
Courage now and keep your heart!
Run it out.
Nothing comes without start,
Run it out.
Other Shakespeares might be printing,
Other TitianS might be tinting,
If some constant coach kept limiting,
Run it out.
Edmund Vance Cooke.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
TFrom the Chicago News

[From the Chicago News.J
Much of Iife's friction is due to a well
oiled tongue.
A meek lover sometimes makes a strea-
uous husband.
Many unsatisfactory employee is
fired with enthusiasm.
Women would never be successful as
plain clothes detectives.
Poets are born-likewise also those WHO
only think they are poets.
Many men of many minds-but 1t
usually one woman of many minds.
Many man who plays the races doesn't
go broke-but comes home that way.
At some period in his life every man ex-
poets to make fortune raising poultry.
The girl who IS. so honely that she
doesn't care can afford to whistle on the
street.
Some men are Johnny -the-spot when
1t comes to paying grIdge, but when it
comes to paying the butcher and grocer
Well, that's another story.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
NEW FOREIGN TRADE RECORDS

1t is certain that 1912 will establish
new records in the foreign commerce of
the United States. The total of our
exports and imports combined will ex-
coed $4,000, 100000. Both exports and i'm
ports will be the greatest ever known.
October settled the years rank in for
eign trade by completely eclipsing the
BEST records ever made for any other
month in the history of the country
The October exports were IL per cent
larger than the exports for the previous
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

Inasmuch as the railroads are of
q mind to receive with open arms
such advice as the farmers can give
as to the better handling of freight
cars so that car Shortages may be
wiped out. it is assuredly up to the
farmers to produce the goods. This
IS only another wise step towards CO.
operation in all things. And it is like
ly if the railroads and the shippers
of all classes would cooperate in a
variety of directions such as more
promptness in loading and unloading
cars as we'll rs their handling with a
better efficiency. the car shortages
would not develop to such annoying
proportions whenever bumper crops
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

Most of the prominent prize-fighters
an the land put in their Thanksgiving
Day by punching the stuffing out of
each other to the limit of their abili-
ties. Their activities may have been
more remunerative, but they were
scarcely as pleasureable as those pur-
sued by a multitude of their less pug
nacious brethren who knocked the
stuffing out of many and divers tur-
keys, ducks, geese, chicken and other
things that tickle the palate and later
produce head and tummyaches.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

Henry ]. Allen, the clever Wichita
editor and humorist of the late Bull
Moose movement, has been named by
some of his enthusiastic admirers as
1.-The next Progressive governor of
Kansas" Who has preceded him in
such a capacity? Unless a hurried
recollection is entirely at fault, all of
the governors of Kansas these many
years back and including the COVER
nor-elect have been elected as candi-
dates of either the Populist, Republi-
can or Democratic parties. So far the
Progressive party has merely edged
into Kansas with a set of presidential
electors and a few candidates who had
the nerve to run for office on the Re-
publican ticket
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
KANSAS cOMAENT
THE FALL OF JOHNSON.


Recently. there appeared over an
Associated Press dispatch the head
line, Jack johnson Again.. InoSs
three words revealed more graphical
ly than numerous paragraphs, thS
attitude of the whole United states
toward the mighty negro prize fight
err The nation is tired of him, the
very mention of his name brings re-
pugnance. The people have been
been granted the right of citizenship
and allowed the liberty of batterinS
up wkits prize fighters. -le has been
given the honor and recognition due
him, as CHAMPION fighter OF the world
and he has justly came me loathing
that he is now receiving from the
American people. One of the big ma
tional questions today is the race ques-
ton. It's too bad that Jack Johnson
feels no more obligation to humanity
than to punch unfortunate men full OF
bruises and Gaping wounds It's
shame that his ambition is no nigh
er than to keep in the limelight, what
ever the cost. If this man had been
satisfied to accept soberly the willing
tribute due him, as a giant OF physl-
cal strength-if he had retired to an
honorable, unquestionable, d1gnihed
private life-if he had proved himself
to be powerful to some extent, men
tally and morally, he would today be
one of the greatest men in America,
and the colored people, could hold him
up as their champion. AS 1t is, he is
now imprisoned like some huge, Gagged
brute, and he has brought disgrace
and degradation to his race, when it
was possible for him to do great SER
vice to his people by his example. His
failure is miserably sad.-Emporia
Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
HUAOR or THE DRY

Mistress Ito new but1er)-"Oh, James 7
found this bowl Clipped and cracked in
the pantry this afternoon" James-"T n,
not the culprit, madam; never chips nor
cracks. When I breaks, smashes IItts.c
ly."-Punch.
which do you consider the most nne1o-
d'ous Wagnerian opera?'' asked ~
Sumrox There are several / havensf
heard aren't there?" rejoined her nus
them "-washington Star. o"e OF
w nat IS the real difference betvasn
feast, and the other q funeral ~ Is q
more American. -DAlu-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Most of the Jokes are of the alleged
variety.
No man is as happy as he thinks
he ought to be.
Every mans own idea is that his
virtues far outweigh his vices.
4
AS a general rule, the fellow who
can be fooled once can be fooled again.
= X
Love in a cottage isn't so bad II
the place can be kept warm in the
winter time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

/ Sometimes, the Thanksgiving dinner
is responsible for the loss of a game,
but it was beef, and not turkey, that
laid Washburn in the shade.
| London correspondent speaks of the
ingenuity of the suffragettes who put
! the London mail boxes on the fritz.
Maybe ingenuity is Londonesque for
| pure cussedness.''
We haven't an artistic soul. The only
reason we prefer to draw pictures of
blondes is that it takes less time and
ink.
To the list of "used-to-be's,'' Ad VOL
CAST.
When a gifted friend starts out to
! boost you. he can transpose the story
! of sordid, uninteresting life into a
biography filled with interest and
romance. We know.
Pip Daniels, of the Howard Courant,
is falling down on his copy. His para
graphs grow fewer and fewer, and I'M
less he settles" down before January
1, Polk Daniels should can him and put
Sofy on the job.
A Brooklyn doctor says no one should
enter the medical profession unless he
has an independent source of income.
Probably what he meant to say was
that no one should fall into the hands
of the medical profession unless he has
a large income-and plenty of insur-
ance.
Wichita is rejoicing over an increase
in the gas pressure. 1t is apparent that
lot of the Wichita bullmoosers, who
have been spending the fall telling the
rest of the state how to vote, have re-
turned home.
Iowa gent who narrowly escaped
being eaten by hogs, should refrain
from making a noise like an ear OF
corn.
We may not be satisfied with our lot
but may get some satisfaction out of
the fact, although the lot of some may
be satisfactory, they may not approve
of the house on it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR

LFrom the New York Press1
Money has wings that can't fly back
ward
An extra easy way to get fooled by a
girl is to try to fool her.
Heroes make the biggest fuss of all over
sand in their shoes.
A woman will trust her instinct in buy
ing house and lot, but she wants e<-
pert advice about a hat.
You can tell by the way a man negIeci 8
his wife how devoted he was to her when
they were engaged
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
QUAKER MEDTTATToNs.
rFrom the Philadelphia Press

TFrom the Philadelphia Press.1
Love laughs at iokesmiths.
Many man is clothed with authority
that doesn't fit him.
The man who expects the unexpected is
seldom disappointed.
TIL devil is seldom as black as he IS
painted. nor the town as red.
The fellow who is addicted to poker dice
is always a great hand-shaker.
The hand of fate demonstrates that fate
seldom extends the glad hand.
Women should make good doctors. At
any rate most of them are cureious.
Some fellows could run through for
tune without even getting out of breath
Never hit a man when he is down., -
quoted the Wise Guy. THE same rule ar-
plies to beating a carpet added the SIM
pie Mug.
Blobbs-''Why do you call Grouchleich
the Human Football?" Slobbs-"Oh, he
always feels that he has a kick coming to
him.
Mrs. Henpeckke-''Here'S piece in tae
paper about married couple who have
lived together for u years without speak
ing to each other" Mr. -Henpeckke-
Some men have all the luck"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

From Governor Stubbs's mote" of
congratulations to Judge Thompson 1t
seems to appear, between the lines,
that if the latter ever finds himself in
need of advice as to how to conduct
himself in the United States senate,
he will know whittier to turn for it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
DAFFYDHS
BY o. NoALL.

If the clerk couldn't fit lady with
a pair of shoes, could the counterfeiter?
Crouch not a hair on yon bald head)
When the pawn broker installed lot
of electric lights IN his window did he
say: This IsreaIite?'
Chats the kind of guy I am.l
Would Montenegrin at a joke?
Cry to be gent. even if it hoits
yuhO
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

Now that there is a big labor short
age in this country, the volume of i'm
migration will soon begin to increase
with leaps and bounds; provided, of
course, that all the able bodied men
in Europe are not forced to remain at
home and engage in the less profitable
pursuit of war.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

Missouri justice has just staged an
other peculiar stunt. A women on
trial for the murder of another wo-
man confessed the crime. Yet the
judge directed the jury to bring in a
verdict of mot guilty because in
sufficient evidence had been produced
to corroborate the confession.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

Evidently the Democrats are of a
mind to continue as much federal pat
ronage as possible as an adjunct to
politics. They are UP in arms against
the progressive order of President
Taft placing all fourth class postmas-
tiers on the classified civil service list.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

Here's a hint for the swell-dressers
among the men in Kansas. Alexandra
Duval, the Paris dandy, has recently
appeared in a black silk frock coat.
And he promises to wear a blue velvet
coat with gray trousers next.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
Wilson

Governor Wilson is especially
pleased with his retreat in the Ber-
mudas because not even the daily
newspaper invades that locality. But,
then, nobody has to read the daily
newspapers in this country if he does
MT so desire
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

There have been heavy snowstorms
in the North, the East, the West and
even in the South. But in Kansas
the sun has continued to shine. Hur-
rah for Kansas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

Professor Scott, of Northwestern
University, advises women to use
psychology in buying their hats. IN
der present conditions, most of them
use their elbows, if it is bargain day.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

and a rush in all other lines of bust
ness arrive. And they always come
fOgether
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

Surely the local weather forecasters
are playing safe in predicting much
colder weather for the near future.
This is the season of the year for it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Now that Thanksgiving Day is a
memory, don't foget to do your
Christmas shopping early.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

Incidentally, the turkey is a bird
that tastes much better than it acts or
sounds. About looks there may be a
question
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

Eyes, he is regarded as one of our lead
Smear?'' Eyes, indeed Why, there's one
of his bits of still life, study of a raw
beefsteak that looks like a Sicilian sun
set."-Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
A SATURDAY SERMON.

Though thou exaIt myself as the eagle
and though thou set thy nest amonS the
stars thence will bring thee down, saltf
the Lord. Obadiah Ia.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30
ny THE WAY
~ HARVEY PAR9osEA

Sometimes, the Thanksgiving dinner
is responsible for the loss of a game,
but it was beef, and not turkey, that
laid Washburn in the shade.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

London correspondent speaks of the
ingenuity of the suffragettes who put
the London mail boxes on the fritz.
Maybe ingenuity is Londonesque for
pure cussedness''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-30

reason we prefer to draw pictures of
blondes is that it takes less time and
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-12-04
chairman Haugh and A. B. S

Chairman Haugh and A. B. Sc
branek accompanied Rudolph Pesik
over from Union, appearing as wit
nesses in his citizenship declaration be-
fore the court. Mr.. Sebranek is the
hustling merchant and postmaster at
Oily.
The families of I. N. Sine and
Carlos Buchanan of La Fargo, autoed
over to attend funeral of their relative,
Mrs Louis Johnson. Others who came
from distance were A. O. Unseth and
wife, Westby; julius Slime and wife.
Readstown; Chas. Hawkins and wife,
Chicago; John and Tosten Hooverson
and wives, Soldiers Grove. Other friends
and relatives were present.
Louis johnson and daughter Agnes
were accompanied here with the. re-
mains of their precious dead y dele
cation of Richland county 3ntlemen
consisting of Messrs. E. j. Ccfiand, j..
w. Martin and Mr.. Peel. trustees OF
the county asylum; DR.. +. w. Mckee,
institutional physician; DR.. Ferebee.
r. C. Lybrand and NJ. J. Cofiiand. Mr..
Johnson and daughter desire the. CEN
soR to express their appreciation to
Virooua friends who contributed as
sistsrce and floral pieces.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-12-04
:: RURAL NEWS ITEMS
Contributed by the Censor's
Live Correspondents
JEFFERSON.

Mills RIDGE. December Weather good, but
muddy roads. School is progressing nicely after
a few days vacation -. Ole Christanson and wife
also Mr.. and Mrs. John Christanson. returned af-
ter visit 20 Minnesota and other places Steve
Mills and Ella Mills also Mrs. MauGe Graham. at
tended the dance at Chaseburg recently John
7. johnson and family have removed near Viro-
qua We regret their departure as neighbors and
friends Chris Graham has purchased the John
son farm and will move in the future. Ed Mills
OF Prosp rity Avenue having purchased the G.
Graham farm Ole Dahrs have a new well and
windmill complete. Mr. and Mrs. Herman Mills
also Owen Moore and wife attended surprise given
for our NJ. z. minister Rev. Nixon in Viroqua -.
Katie Graham Edwin Selin and Bertunis Chris
Hanson are attending w. b. u in La Crosse
Mrs. Phil Jaeobus went to La Crosse lately and is
home again. She consulted an eye specialist and
now has new glasses. G. C. Olson took dinner
at g. II. Mills last Monday Martha EHefson
was taken suddenly sick and DR.. Schriener of
Westby was called She is well again. James
Mills and SOD. Robert were at Philip Boaffleur's
funeral in Viroqua.. Nellie Davis and Florence
Graham visited Matte Heron Sunday Iast.....-
Cresty Jaeobus possesses fine new piano.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-12-04
No Better in the State

Viroqua Woman's Relief Corps was
officially inspected by department pres
ident, Mrs. Maloney, Wednesday even
ing. on which occasion q banquet was
spread in honor of the distinguished
guest. Following the repast toasts
were responded to by the visiting pres
ident, General Rogers, Col Butt, Cap
tain Buffers, Principal Smith and o.
G. Munson. Miss Ella Wilson presided
with fine facility as toastmistress. The
new city orchestra RECALLED the party
with their best selections. Inspection
of officers followed. President Maloney
paid the local corps the compliment of
saying that it is inferior to no corp in
the state in efficiency and good work
being done.