The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-05-13

p =. 2. ~" p"
bought Btaia.
Compliments paid g0u By mar
Hio wants 10 borrow dollar
The eelehfaied pr6niise 10 obey
Fnisome promlkcs o. the garden
seed catalogue.
Railroad time schedules x
Invitations 10 go automobile riding
Fsome time" ~ {. ~
Observations Of Old Cap. Wtipple.
r. r. says heSwlll not give up. even
IL he is licked this time. 7. II. al
ways was a big stlcker.
1t is almost as dangerous 10 run FOL
president in this country as II is to be
president Of Mexico.
Miss Euphemia Nudge. our poetes,
of passion, is certainly getting along
She has written some poetry that ha,
been refused By many OF the best mag
azines In this country.
When teller gets TO the poln
where he is entirely satisfied witt
himself he hits the back trail from
that moment.
It beats all how many bright youni
men, who might make money. have I
fankering TO start an opposition. news
paper in a small town.
Mrs, Ansc Judson says her youni
son Is SO bright that she Is awfuitj
afraid that when he grows up he vii
Try TO be president.
1t seems as though the entire popu
lation OF Norway, Sweden and Den
mark must be busy making those safe
~ matches that light only whei
scratched on the box.
Houseeleanins.
Every time come from town,
My wife makes me beat them rug
aroun'.
My life's a burden, III be boun'.
I'm goin' to quit beatin' them rug
aroun'. ~
Naming tic Baby.
DearSir:: We don't know what t
name the ,ba0y ana NO have decided
to appeal TO you, hoping for some ad
vice in your daily column OF Menta
Cplift and Higher Ideals. Please IA
vor{ US with some suggestions.
Mrs. L. P. w.
Certainly madam. II 1t is a bo.
name him Clarence. Percy, Roy, Perle
Cecil, Alwyn, Cyril, Guy or, Wllfred
If it is girl, name her Pansy, Violet
Puss, Birdie, Duckie, Tootsle or Dove
Then when ithe baby grows up. to b,
200pounder the name will just sui
1t. A great many parents make tn
mistake OF selecting sensible names
This should not be done under an!
condition.
The Greek classic names are yer,
nice. For a girl there is Iodine, Bella
donna, Menthol, vaseline, Aspirin
Sozodont, Arnica. Vcrmifuge, Hydro
phobia. Tragicanthe, salhepatica, Lis
terine. Antiphlogistine, Alabastine
iScarletina, or Linoleum. The Greel
Classics contain also some berry goot
substantial names for men including
Erysipelas. Pneumonia, Lumbago, Ap
pendlcitis, Quincy, Bronchitis, Paraly
sis, Paresls, Eczema, Apollinaris O.
Calomel.
But 1t really doesn't matter VIVA
you name the baby, both you and tn,
baby will wish that you had named L
something. different, .It,,
The Poor English Husband,
(This great epic poem touching upor
sociological conditions in Englant
contains no plot which must perforct
interest the reader We publish it il
serial form, attempting TO reach eli
max at the conclusion of each install
n:ant, which always makes the reader
wish for more. 1t Is really some pomt
and Kipling never wrote anything like
II in his life)
He was Just an English husband OF 9
suffraget recruit
And he didn't have button on his
combination suit.
His suspcnders broke their moorings
and he hooked 'em on with nails
And he showed lot OF patience. did
this most henpecked of males.
All his clothing needed intending, ant
his stockings were a sight.
And he fastened his pajamas on Will
safety pins at night.
lie stayed at home to mind the chill
drcn and he cooked all of tho
90, .mdals, ,s
For his better half was busy taking
Votes for Women" splels.
He did the Monday washings and he
scrubbed the kitchen floor
And he polished up the handle on his
CASTLES big front door.
He was slorn OF all his freedom and