Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-01-08
No Demand.

Your hair Is getting rather thin.
remarked the barber with sympathy
in his voice. 81 have a splendid hair
tonic that can recommend AS a
hair restorer IT'S a wonder You just
ask Mr.. Qulgway what he thinks OF
Il. He bought bottle OF IT, as his
beard was pretty light and straggly
/ He was rather careless using the
tonic and now ne has whiskers all
over his neck n few applications
would stop your hair from falling
out"
IL don't want few applications.
said the man In the chair, irritabiy
I"When ! want any hair tonic IN send
la policeman around and let YOU
know. | don't see why man cant
20 into shop " store and get
what he wants Rhhout heing bad
gered 10 buy a lot OF fool things he
doesnc want came In here TO
have my hair trimmed and you've
been insulting me and badgcring me
ever since yol got 20 work on me.
! You had the gall TO tell me that my
scalp is dirty and that | need q
shampoo There isn't cleaner
scalp I'm town than mine, for ! scour
the blamed thing myself every morn
ing, and / consider your remark an
outrage.
Then you want TO do massage
stunt on me. and your porters been
asking me 20 let him shine my shoes.
and / suppose your cashier viii want
to borrow a quarter before get
away. Talk about the high COST OF
living, a man can understand n
after he's spent an hour In a barber
shop When ! was young man my
mother cut my hair and didn't charge
me a cent and / shaved myself and
hlacked my own shoes and could 90
into the beat society looking like a
Bridegroom, ana wasn't out any
thing.
Times have changed so that a
man rs ashamed TO have his wife or
mother cut his hair, and he pushes
himself 20 a barber shop. and /! he
doesn't defend himself properly hen
run up a bill that will put him In a
hole for week I'm not knocking
on BARRIERS but on their weakness for
se.ung tonlcs and cures for ingrOw-
ing whlskers and bleaches for red
noses. and also on their blamed can
dor, which leads them 10 say that a
mans scalp Is lirty when he knows
Il isn't"
Il beg your pardon, I'm sure; ]
didn't mean
oh your intentions are all right
ana YOU don't need TO apologize, for
you're a perfect gentleman and an
ornament 20 yogr sex. a man ia up
against the same trouble anywhere
IN ! go into a grocery TO buy an al
falfa cigar the grocer isn't satisfied
10 sell me wha, / ask for and take
the money be- must tell me that
he's Just received new line Of
leather pipes RON Kalamazoo, and
he seems so ANXIOUS 10 sell me one
of those pipes hat the chances are
I'll go down 90 my jeans and dig up
the price, fOr was born an easy
mark, ana when I've bought the pipe
he'll remind me chat ! ought TO have
some tobacco SOB put la It. for a pipe
without tobacco b. Ike the play OF
Hamlet with Marks the lawyer left
out
Then when I've bought the to-
bacco he'll remember all Of sudden.
Just as though he had an inspiration,
that he has Goa hand a few Of the
/ finest little match safes, just the
thing TO carry "a the vest pocket
Hon remind wu that there rs nothing
more disiressin than The dilemma of
"a man who ha. q pipe and tobacco,
hut no matchps so he'll sell me thc
match cafe and that viii remind him
OF something e. aud before gct
away he'll have sold me the whole
store inclndu. the car under the
stove
There's tbo socret Of the high cost
OF living hy lingo People are al
ways buylng hlngs they have no
use for spending their hard earned
money for pin. zobras and stuffed
snakes and haI- tonlcs They do'
buy sach thiues because they want
them but iat because they are
easy marks. che American citizen
hates io hu. anvhody'a feelings.