The weekly chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Craig County, Okla.) 1905-1913, 1912-12-27
INFORMATION WANTED
BY JULIUS CAREY.

| believe | must have a touch OF
rheumatism, she remarked, lifting the
coffee pot wearily.
Whatever that may bel" respond
ed her husband scornfully. The
truth of the matter probably is that
you got all tired out running up and
down stairs when you were cleaning
the attic yesterday"
''Oh, 1t certainly can't be that" she
replied, because you know, the doc
tors say now that running up and
down stairs is the very best kind of
exercise"
'The doctors!" he scoffed, trying as
he spoke to find a comfortable posi-
tion for his left leg IF we are 60
ing to do all the fool things the doc
tors advise. or refrain from doing all
the desirable things they forbid, we
shall have a delightful time OF it,
1T grieves me to think" he contin-
ued, "how many good things I've miss
ed because the doctors forbade them,
only to be told little later that it
didn't make any difference, after all.
shall never cease to regret the rich
red beetsteaks / didn't eat during a
period when | fondly trusted in the
assertion of the doctors that red meat
caused rheumatism"
They've found out now that It's
strawberries" said Mrs. Sylvester. Il
was reading an article yesterday, by
a doctor"
mo doubt you were," interrupted
her husband TITS just the time OF
the year that the medical fraternity
would choose for the publication of
an article denouncing strawberries
right in the season when they are the
most tempting. Why, l had dish for
luncheon yesterday that made life
seem worth living again. So the doc
tors have combined to deprive us 'ot
the solace of eating fresh strawber-
ries, have they? Well, they can't
work it on me this time! I'm a pa
tient creature, but my patience has
its limits. Not till I've forgotten the
long dreary winter, during which l
abstained from eating raw oysters for
fear of typhoid, only to read in the
first month of the year without an r
an article by some noted medical man
asserting that the percentage of ty-
phoid due to oysters is so small as to
be negligible"
IT'S best to be on the safe side"
said Mrs. Sylvester.
The safe side, indeed" he exclaim.
ed. "Oh, certainly You got a great
deal of comfort out of being on the
safe side when you used to arrange
all the grape seeds so carefully along
the edge OF your plate. II you swal-
lowed a single one by mistake you
worried for weeks in fear of an at
tack Of appendicitis l don't notice
you troubling much about grape seeds
In late years And why? Simply be-
cause your feminine creduhty has
been satisfied by the assertion OF
some doctor that grape seeds are not
the cause of appendicitis, after ALL"
Mrs. Sylvester began to look
alarmed
flannels and not to wear fannels,"
he went on. We've been admonished
to drink water during meals. after
having been sofemnly warned never to
do So"
They do seem to change their
minds pretty often" admitted Mrs.
Sylvester.
Sylvester continued oratorically:
Each succeeding generation OF doc
tors since the days of Aesculapius, or
whatever his name was. has pro-
nounced false the opinions of the pre-
ceding generation"
His wife looked thoroughly fright
ened. It's perfectly dreadful" she
exclaimed. Il really never thought
about 1t before"
"Ah-oo!" groaned Sylvester, who
had so far forgotten himself as to
draw back his left leg quickly.
What is it. Henry?" asked his wife
anxiously. "Oh, don't know what on
earth we should do il you were to get
sick, with the doctors all dlsagreeiug
and changing their minds every few
minutes!"
"Nothings the matter with me- he
replied. II was about to say. how.
ever, that, OF course, the doctors are
bound to hit it once In a while, and
there may be something, after all,
in that idea that strawberries cause
rheumatism. I've been having a lit.
tie pain in my left foot for a day or
two, and as I've been eating straw
berries every day for luncheon, don't
know but it might be a good thing to
stop in on my way to the train and
ask the doctor what he thinks about
It"
dol" exclaimed Mrs. Sylvester, so
interested that her own aches were
forgotten. It's so much more com.
Portable to be sure"
The Author Who Hores.
The author who speaks about his
own books Ia almost as bad as a
mother who talks about her own chill.