davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21
y MISS MINERVA r.
NyWWILLIAM GREEN HII@'
BY FRANCES BOYD CALHOUN
by Reilly a Britton Coz

when he come down some bad little
children say. Go long back. bald
head!' and they make pock-mocks on
him. Seems like everybody treat him
bad. so he cuss 'em, so l never see
anybody with a bald head 'thout run,
cause | don't want 10 get cussed. So
TWO Teddy bears come out OF the
woods and ate up forty-two hunderd
of 'em."
why, Frances" reproved Lima,
you always get things wrong. | don't
believe they ate up that many chill
dren."
Yes. they did too" championed
Jimmy. cause it's in the Bible and
Miss Cecilia 'splained all bout it to
me. and she's our Sunday school
teacher and bout the bullyest 'splain.
er they is. Them Teddy bears ate up
bout a million chillens, which is all
the little boys and girls two Teddy
bears can hold at a time"
Il knows a man what amt got no
hair t all on his head" remarked
Billy; hes conjure-man an me
an Wilkes Booth Lincoln been talkin'
to him ever sence we's born an he
amt never cuss US. an / amt never
got cat up by no Teddy bears neither.
liuccome him to be bald? He's out
i'll the fiel' one day a'pickin' cotton
when he sees a turkey buzzard an he
talk to her like this:
4 say turkey buzzard, say,
Who shall ! see unexpected to.
day.?
IF she flop her wings three times
you goin' to see yo' sweetheart. but
this-here buzzard amt flop no wings t
all; she Jes' lean over an th'ow up
on his head an he been bald ever
sence; ev'y single hair come out"
Did you-all hear bout that Italian
Dago that works on the section gang
eating a buzzard?" asked Frances
Nav" said Billy. Did it make
him sick?"
THAT it did," she answered; "he
sent for Doctor Sanford and tells him
Me killa de big bird, me eat-a de big
bird, de big bird make-a me SEEK"
Them Dagoes bout the funniest
talking folks they u.s." said Jimmy,
but they got to talk that way cause
it's in the Bible. They 'sputed on the
tower of Babel and the Lord say Con.
found you!' Miss Cecilia splained il
all to me and she's bout the dandiest
'splainer they is
You may tell your tale now,
Jimmy" said Lima.
I'm going to tell bout William Tell
cause he's in the Bible" said jim.
my. Once they's a man name"
William Tell isn't in the Bible"
declared Lima.
Yes. he is too" contended the lit
tie boy. Miss Cecilia 'splained it to
me. You all time setting yourself up
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21
JEW SCORED ON ARlSTOCRAT
llI-Bred Remark Brought Discontinue
on Duke Of Westminster and
His Companion.

A friend OF mine who Is In Cairo
Just now told me a good story in a
recent letter OF an old Jew of that
city who scored off the young duke OF
Westminster and his inseparable COM
panion, Lord Ricksavage, when they
were there a few weeks ago. They
were buying some jewelry in the bazaar
there. and the duke remarked audibiy
to his friend:
The fool doesn't speak English, OF
course" But the fool understood well
enough.
do you spik Italian?" he asked
them, to which they replied in the neg
alive.
do you spik Grik?"
mo"
do you spik Turk"
No"
do you Spik Russian"
No"
ME one time fool" said the old
man after a short but eloquent pause:
you five times fool" And the duke
and his friend retired discounted
Exchange.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21

Eve and William Tell amt In the
Bible. They're our fret parents"
Now. Billy. you tell a tale and then
It will be my time." said Lima with a
Observation-Disclosures air.
Once they was a OIL WITCH" said
Billy. what got outer her skin ev'y
night an lef' 1t on the berth an
turnt herself to a great. big. black cat
an go up the chim'ly an go roun' an
ride folks fer horses. an set on ev'y.
body's CHS an suck they breath an
kill 'em an then come back to bed.
An can't nobody ketch her tell one
night her husban' watch her an he
see her jump outer her skin an drop
1t on the berth an turn to enormous
black cat an go up the chimly. An
he got outer the bed an put some salt
an pepper an vinegar on the skin an
she come back an turnt to a oman
an try to git back in her skin an
she can't cause the salt an pepper
an vinegar mos burn her up. an she
keep on a-tryin' an she can't never
snuggle inter her skin cause il keep
on burnin' worser N ever. an there
she Is oman 'thout no skin on. So
she try to turn back to cat an she
can't cause it's pas twelve erclock.
an she jest swivvle an swivvle tell
finely she jest swivvle all up. An
that was the las of the ole witch an
her husban' live happy ever after
Amen"
ffv,1n
there was a beautiful maiden and she
was in love, but her wicked old pa
rent wants her to marry rich old
man threescore and ten years old.
which Is most all the old you can
get unless you are going TO die; and
the lovely princess. said. No. father
you may cut me in the twain but |
will never marry any but my true
love- So the wicked parent shut up
the lovely maiden in a high tower
many miles from the ground, and
made her live on turnips and she had
nothing else to eat; so one day when
she was crying a little fairy flew in
at the window and asked. Why do you
weep, fair one?' And she said, A
wicked parent main smut me up anu
| can't ever see my lover any more
So the fairy touched her head with
her wand and told her to hang her
hair out of the window and she did
and it reached the ground, and her
lover, holding rope ladder in one
hand and playing the guitar and sing
ing with the other. climbed up by her
hair and took her down on the ladder
and his big black horse was standing
near, all booted and spurred, and they
rode away and lived happy ever
after"
How he goin TO clam up. Lima"
asked Billy, with rope ladder in one
hand and his guitar in the other?"
II don't know" was the dianified
answer. THAT is the way it is told
in my fairy-tale book"
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21
HARD TO DROP
But Many Drop 1t.

A young Calf. wife talks about
coffee:
1T was hard to drop Mocha and
Java and. give Postum trial, but my
nerves were so shattered that | was
a nervous wreck and of course that
means all kinds of ills.
"At first j thought bicycle riding
caused 1t and | gave 1t up but my con-
dit!cn remained unchanged. | did not
want 10 acknowledge coffee caused the
trouble for l was very fond of it,
About that time friend came to
live with us, and l noticed that after
he had been with us a week he would
not drink his coffee any more. ] asked
him the reason. He replied, Il have
not had a headache since | left off
drinking coffee, some months ago, till
last week, when began again, here at
your table. don't see how anyone
can like coffee, anyway, after drink
ing Postum!
81 said nothing but at once ordered
a package of Postum. That was five
months ago, and we have drank no
coffee since, except on two occasions
when we had company, and the result
each time was that my husband could
not sleep. but lay awake and tossed
and talked half the night. We were
convinced that coffee caused his suf-
fering. so we returned to Postum, con-
WINGED that the coffee was an enemy.
instead of a friend, and he is troubled
no more by insomnia
Il, myself, have gained pounds in
weight, and my nerves have ceased to
culver. 1t seems so easy now to quit
tho old coffee that caused our aches
and ills and take up Postum" Name
given by Postum Co.. Battle Creek.
Mich.
Read the little book, THE Road to
MELVILLE" In pkgs. There's a reason"
Ever read the above tetters A new
one appears from time To time. They
are geswine, true, ana full OF human
Interest
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21
CHAPTER VIII.
Tellers of Tales.

The days flew rapidly by. Miss
Minerva usually attempted to- train
Billy all the morning. and by the mid
day dinner hour she was so exhausted
that she was glad to lei him play in
the front yard during the afternoon
Here he was often joined by the
three children whose acquaintance he
had made the day after his arrival.
and the quartet became staunch
friends and chums.
All four were sitting in the swing
one warm spring day, under the sur.
VIGILANCE of Billy's aunt, sewing on
the veranda
Lets tell tales" suggested Jimmy
"All right" agreed Frances. I'll
tell the first Once there's"
Nav, you amt neither" interrupt.
ed the little boy. You all time talk
ing bout you going 10 tell the first
tale I'm going to tell the first tale
myself One time they $"
mo, you are not either" said
Lima positively. Frances is a girl
and she ought 10 be the first If she
wants to- Don't you think so. Blly?"
"Yas. docs" championed he; go
on. Frances"
That little girl thus encouraged.
proceeded To tell the first tale:
Once there e man named Mr..
Elisha. and he had a friend named
Mr.. Elijah, so his mantelpiece fell on
top of his head and make him per.
fcctly bald; he hasn't got a single
hair and he hasn't got any money.
cause mama read me bout he rented
his garments. which is clo'es. cause
he didn't have none at all what be.
long to him. ! spec he just rented
him a shirt and a pair o. breeches
and wore 'em next TO bis hide 'thout
no undersbirt at all. He was dreadful
poor and had a miser'bie time and
mean Mr.. Per'dventnre took him C9
on a high mountain and left him. so
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21
His Only Complaint.

Senator Beveridge, at luncheon I'm
New York, was talking about the child
labor problem.
Children are so plucky and SO
cheerful" he said. 1--WE don't realize
how horribly overworked they are tia
It's too late-till their bodies and
minds are stunted irretrievably.
Il was once talking 10 a tiny errand
boy at the height of the Christmas
shopping season. He was working. |
knew. II hours day. AS he walked
sturdily along with a mountain Of par
cells piled on his thin. narrow shout
ders, ! said to him:
DO you like your job?'
Yes, sir. he said; I like 1t fine.
Only
Here he grinned up at me gayly
from beneath his load.
"'Only I'm afraid I'm doing an au-
tomobile truck out of a job.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21

w. New, 1923 q. First St. Mcpherson.
Kans., says: "When l began taking
Doan's Kidney Pills, had just gotten
over an attack CT grip which had
weakened my kidneys. My back ached
continually and the kidney secre-
tions caused great discomfort. Doans
Kidney Pills cured me entirely and I
have had no kidney trouble since"
when Your Back Is Lame, Remember
Foster-Milburn Co. Buffalo. N. Y.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21

a visit when the gate opened. and
Lima and Frances, their beloved dolls
in their arms, came skipping in.
Jimmy, who had had a difference
with Billy and was in the sulks on
his own side of the fence, Immediately
climbed over and joined the others
in the swing. He was lonesome and
the prospect of companionship was
too alluring for him to nurse his an
ger longer.
Aunt Minerals gone to the Aid
Society,"" remarked the host. Don't
y all wish IT met ev'y day Std 'er
jes' moetin' ev'y Monday?"
Yes | do" agreed Frances. you
can have so much fun when our ma
mas &C to the Aid. My mama's gone
too, so she left me with Brother and
he's whiting love letter to Ruth
Shelton, so slipped off,"
Mother has gone to the Aid. too"
said Lima.
MY mama too" chimed in Jimmy.
"she goes TO the Aid every Monday
and TO card parties nearly all the
time. She telled Sarah Jane to tend
to me and Sarah James asleep. hear
her snoring. Amt we glad there amt
no grown folks to NEEDLE? Can't we
have fun?'
"What1l we play?" asked Frances,
, who had deliberately stepped in a
mud puddle on the way, and splashed
mud all over herself. lets make mud
pies"
Nav, We amt a-going TO make no
mud pies" objected Jimmy. I'VE can
make mud pies all time when grown
folks r. looking at you"
Lets play sumpin' what we amt
never play, sense we's born" put in
Billy
Il hope grandmother won't miss
me" said Lima, she's reading very
interesting book"
Lets plan Injun!" yelled Jimmy;
I'VE amt never play Injun."
This suggestion was received with
bowls of delight.
My mama's got box of red stuff
! that she puts on her face when she
goes TO card parties. She never puts
none on when she just goes to the
Aid. | can run home and get the box
to make us red like Injuns," said
Frances.
MY mother has box of paint.
too"
Il amt never see Aunt Minerva put
no red stuff on her face" remarked
Billy. disappointedly.
Miss Minerva, she don't never let
the Major come to see her, nor 60 to
no card parties. is the reason" ex-
planned the younger boy, she Just
goes to the Aid where they amt no
men, and you don't halter put no red
on your face at the Aid. Wen let
you have some of our paint, Billy.
My mama's got bout a million diff'ent
kinds"
We got TO have pipes" was Fran
cess next suggestion.
My papas got bout million
pipes" boosted Jimmy, but he got
EN- TO the office. ] spec"
Father has meerschaum."
Aunt Minerva amt got no pipe"
Miss Minerals bout the curiousest
woman they is" said Jimmy: she
amt got nothing tall; she amt got
no paint and she amt got no pipe"
Ladies don't use pipes, and we
can do without them anyway" said
Lima. but we must have feathers: all
Indians wear feathers"
"Ill get my mama's duster,'' said
Jimmy.
Me, too" chimed in Frances.
Here Billy with flying colors came
10 the fore and redeemed Miss Miner
vas waning reputation.
Aunt Minerals got great, big
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21

boun' to-" he said. following Jimmy
reluctantly to the fence; but III jes
take a look at that bottle an see eff
it looks anything t all like 'No-To-
Kink'."
Gigg!ing nightly, they jumped the
dividing fence and slipped with
stealthy tread around the house to
Sarah James cabin in the backyard.
Bennie Dick was sitting on the floor
before the open door. the entrance of
which was securely barricaded to keep
him inside. Sarah Jane was in the
kitchen cooking supper; they could
hear her happy voice raised in relig-
ious melody: Mrs. Garner had not yet
returned from a card party; the coast
was clear. and the time propitious.
Jimmy tiptoed to the house and soon
returned with big bottle of power
full 'blondine" in one hand and stick
of candy in the other.
Bonnie Dick" he said. here's a
nice stick of candy for you if you'll
let us wash your head"
The negro baby's thick, red lips
curved in grin of delight. his shiny
ebony face beamed happily, his round
black eyes sparkled as he held out
his fat. rusty little hands. He sucked
greedily at the candy as the two mis-
chievous little boys uncorked the bot
tie and poured a generous supply Of
the liquid on his head. They rubbed
it in well, grinning with delight. They
made second and a third application
before the bottle was exhausted; then
they stood off TO view the result of
their efforts. The effect was ludi-
crous The combination of coal black
skin and red gold hair presented by
the little negro exceeded the widest
expectations OF Jimmy and Billy. They
shrieked with laughter and rolled over
and over on the floor in their I'M
bounded delight.
Hush" warned Jimmy suddenly,
II believe Sarah James coming out
here to see bout Benny Dick. Let's
get behind the door and see what's
she's going to do"
"'Hit were good fer Paul an Silas.
Hit were good fer Paul an Silas.
Hit were good fer Paul an Silas,
An hits good enough fer me-
hoated Sarah James song nearer and
nearer.
"Hit's de old time erligion,
Hits de ole time"
She caught sight of her baby with
his glistening black face and golden
hair. She threw up her hands, closed
ner eyes. and uttered a terrified
shrek Presently she slowly opened
her eyes and took second peer at
her curious-Iooking offspring Sarah
Jane screamed aloud
Hits de handiwork or de great Je-
hoshaphat! Hits de Marster's sign
Who turnt yo' hair, Benny Dick?" she
asked of the sticky little pickaninny
sitting happily on the floor lis a
angel been here?"
Benny Dick nodded his head with
delighted grin of comprehension
Hits de doing er de Lord" cried
his mother. "He gwine turn my chile
white an de done begunt on his
head"
There was an ecstauc giggle from
behind the door.
Sarah Jane rushed inside as fast as
her mammoth proportions would adj
NIT and caught culprit In each huge
black paw.
What yer up ter now. Jimmy Gar
ner?" she asked. What yer been err
doing?"
Sudden suspicion entered her mind
as she caught sight OF the empty
bottle lying on a chair. "You been err
putin suthin on my chile's head!
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21
CHAPTER vil.--Continued.

About this time the defrauded fowl
few from her nest and attempted to
get out by her rightful exit. Find
ing it stopped up by wriggling,
squirming body she perched herself
on the little boys neck and Mapped
her enraged wings in his face.
PULL" yelled the child again, help
me th'oo. Billy, fore this fool chicken
pecks all the meat off IN my bones. "
Billy grabbed the sticky limbs and
gave valient tug. but the body did
not move an inch. Alas. Jimmy with
his cargo of broken eggs was fast
imprisoned
Pull again." yelled the scared and
angry child, you bout the idjetes.
idjet they is II you can't do no better
n that"
Billy jerked with all his strength,
but with no visible result.
Pull harder! You no-count gump!"
screamed the prisoner. beating Off the
hen with his hands.
The boy on the outside. who was
strong for his years, braced himself
and gave mighty wrench of the
other childs stout extremities. jim
my howled in pain and. gave his
friend an energetic kick
'Lemme go!" he shrieked. you old
impe'dunt backbiter I'm going 10
tell Miss Minerva you pulled my legs
out by the roots"
A small portion of the prisoners
blouse was visible. Billy caught hold
of II and gave strong jerk. There
was a sound of ripping and tearing
and the older boy fell sprawling on
his back with goodly portion OF the
younger child's raiment in his hands.
Now see what you DONE" yelled
the victim of his energy. you amt
got the sense of buffalo gnat. Oh.
oh! This hole is bout to cut my stom.
ach OPEN"
Hush. JIMMY" warned the other
child. Don't make so much noise.
Aunt Minerva II hear you"
Il want her to hear me-" screamed
Jimmy you d like me to stay
stuck in a chicken hole all night. Oh!
oh! OH"
The noise did indeed bring Billy's
aunt out on tour of investigation.
She had to knock a plank off the hen.
house with an axe before Jimmy's re-
lease could be accomplished He was
aifted down, red. angry. sticky. and
perspring, and was indeed sight to
behold
BILLY got to all time perpose some
thing to get little boys in trouble"
he growled. land got TO all time get
'em stuck in hole in a chicken
house"
MY nephews name is William"
she
"You perposed this here yo'self!"
cried an indignant Billy. ME an
Wilkes Booth Lincoln don know moth
in I all bout no rabbits eggs sence
Yves born"
1T doesn't matter who proposed it,"
said his aunt firmly, You are going
TO be punished, William. have just
with me and put it on and go to bed.
Jimmy, you so home and show your
self to your mother"
Pick up 20 shirt-tail offer the
groun' what tore off, Jimmy" adj
vised Billy. IAN take it home to yo'
ma Aunt Minerva" he pleaded. fol
lowing mournfully behind her, please
don't put me to bed; the major he
don go to bed no daytmes; won't
never get me no mo- eggs TO make
rabbits eggs outer"
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21
CHAPTER TX.
Changing the Ethiopian.

Billy and Jimmy were sitting in the
swing.
What makes your hair curl just
like a girl's?" asked the latter. It's
bout the curliest hair they is"
"Yes. it do" was Billy's mournful
response. 1T done worry me mos
to DEATH Ever sence me an Wilkes
Booth Lincoln's born we done try
ev'thing fer to get the curl out They
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21
Those Paroicd Ones.

No. 67.S40 Gust paroled)-W'y, Tur-
tie. 'ow are you? Wot's dom In d
biz"
His Old Pal - Hullo. Chicken!
Shake. Wot's new in d biz? Nottin'
much. Dere's Teller invented a
vault door OATS five years ahead OF
d. times.
No. 81, S40-Gee. dat's bad!
The Pal-An' Skinny Moss has in
vented Jimmy OATS five years ahead
OF d new door!
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21

The man who makes hay when tho
sun shines doesn't have to borrow
his neighbours umbrella when il rains.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21

ache and ur 1.
n airy disorders,
keep the kid
neyS well and
prevent colds
from settling on
t h o kidneys.
Capt. Nicholas
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21
CHAPTER X.

10! The Poor Indians.
Billy had just decided to run down
to the livery stable to pay Sam Lamb
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1912-03-21
COLDS AND CHflLs
BRING KIDNEY ILLS.

Colds, chills and grip strain the
kidneys and start backache, urinary
disorders and uric acid troubles.
Doan's Kidney Pills are very useful
~ So, M In the raw
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1912-09-20
NATIONS JOIN IN OBSEQUIES
Funeral Services for the Late Eraper-
or of Japan.

At Toxic, Japan, the funeral cere-
monies for Emperor Mutsuhito, post
humously known as the Emperor of
the Era of Enlightment," began amid
surroundings in which century old
rites and costumes were mingled with
modern military display.
Official representatives of all coun-
tries had come to Toxic to participate
in the colemnites. Among them were
several princes representing reigning
houses. The list included Philander
C.. Knox, secretary of state of the
United States, who was accompanied
by Ransford E. Miller, chief of the far
eastern section of the state depart
ment at Washington; Rear Admiral
Alfred Reynolds, United States navy,
and Brigadier General John J. Perish
ing, u. S. A.
Members of the regular foreign dip
lomatic body were present in uni
forms.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1912-09-20
HARVESTER CASE is UP
Government Is Seeking to Dissolve the
Big Corporation.

At Chicago Monday the fight of the
government to dissolve the 1nterna-
tional Harvester company was STAGED
when the suit filed by the
United States under the Sherman an
thrust law began before an examiner.
The government charges the Inter
national Harvester company controls
at least 80 per cent of the trade in
the United States in harvesters or
grain binders, rs per cent of the NOW
ers and more than so per cent of the
binder Irvine and that it has advanced
prices to the grave injury of tho
farmer and the general public" In
the answer filed by the company it
lenied all charges Of restraint of
trade, monopoly and unfair. business
practices.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1912-09-20
FEUD CLANS GATHERING
Boyces and Sneeds Assemble
Following Murder.
Amarillo, Texas, Holds Two Crowds
of Deadly Enemies and Trouble
Is Expected.

The clans of the Boyces and those
of the Sneeds are gathering at Amer
lilo, Texas, as the result Of the kill
ing Of Al Boyce by John B. Sneed
here Saturday afternoon. AIS three
brothers, Lynn, Will and Henry Boyce,
are here and they wired for a number
of other relatives and friends to
hasten to Amarillo Henry Boyce is
president Of a bank at Dalhart.
Joe Sneed. Johns brother, and J.
H. Sneed, the assassin's uncle, both
rich, also have arrived. J. T. Snyder,
father of Mrs. Lena Sneed, with whom
Al Boyce eloped and which event set
in motion the series of tragedies, is
expected to arrive today from Ros-
well, N. M. He is millionaire cattle
man and during Sneed's trial for the
killing of Captain A. G. Boyce in Fort
Worth, Snyder supported Sneed and
declared his daughter insane. j. H.
Bowman, Sneed's brother-in-law, of
Plano, also will arrive today.
With a score of members of the
feudal families here, city and county
officers have established strict sur
veillance to prevent any outbreak.