davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19
DNFFYDHS
BIZ o. NoALL.

Would you call man who puts in
store fixtures, a counter-ftter?
drop that oyster, oscar, and leave
the wharf.)
If you cooked a dinner on the crater
of a volcano, would you call it noun
tain range?
(Bridget, for the love of Mike, don't
burn the bacon.)
If Topeka Kan, J. Will Kelley?
(Stand back, I'm the boob that's in
sultin' the suItan.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

An aeroplane race is a race with
death-with odds favoring death.
1t is probable, if the truth were
known that Lots wife looked back to
see if her skirt hung right.
A. n
When a woman says she doesn't OBJ
ject to smoking it means she doesn'
object to the man.
In a small town the unexpected Is
when the drummer marries the village
belle.
\
We have f1reless cookers and head
less cats, but oh, for hairless hats!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19
The Boy and the Wolf.

A Shepherd Boy. who tended a flock
of sheep near a village, cried, "WoIf!''
one day, and all the old mossbacks
rushed out with pitchforks and pokers
to find the dreaded beast that was all
in the boys eye. For three or four
successive times the lad played this
trick on the villagers, and the finally
came to the conclusion that he was
a liar who deserved to be made an
Indian agent.
One day the Wolf really came, but
when the boy mounted the fence and
gave the alarm, the villagers refused
to move off their nail kegs at the cor
ner store, saying to each other:
William Henry can't work that
string on US again"
AS no one responded to the call the
Wolf set out to devour the flock but
before he had secured a taste of the
mutton the Boy laid him out with
bullet from his little toy pistol.
If you feel like lying, don't let
whole village discourage you. 1t Of
ten pays 200 per cent.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

1t is claimed that the Balkan bat
ties have pointed out to the armies of
United States and France the superior
ity of their manner of fighting and
the power of their guns over the meth
DDS and inventions of the Germans.
The mass movements of the Turks is
a favorite of the German armies. The
open-work style of fighting used by
the allies and suggested through the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

If the linotype operators are able to
set up this gem of poetry so it will
rhyme, it should serve as a liberal edu-
cation to college pr lessons who wish to
tell their students the wonders of for
eign literature. The poem was discov-
cred by the Cincinnati Enquirer:
THE TRUSTING PLACE.
Bulgarian maiden named PtQyghaz-
xryurrogazar,
Loved a soldier whose name was Mlu-
bgkloqkazar,
When he left for the front
He said with grunt,
'1'n meet you at Observation-Disclosures
gorffaaemloxarzar'
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19
REFLECTIONS Or A BACHELOR.

LFrom the New York Press.I
A fat woman has no time to worry
about other troubles.
The way for man to prove his sanity
to girl is for him to be crazy over her
A man gets so excited over the way the
g,Jvernment is run because he doesn't
know how 1t is run.
A girls idea about thrilling football
game is If she had some good clothes 10
wear at it.
What woman can't understand is why
men don't have political housecleanings in
the spring, the right season for 'em.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

practices of the French and American
armies had little trouble in moving
down the Turkey warriors. This war,
if nothing else. has taught the rela-
tive strength of battle formation to
the nations of the world.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

The president of the Audubon society
of Missouri, says that house cats are
the worst enemies of man. He says
they cost the state of Missouri $40, 000,-
600 year. And still people keep pets
around the. house pets that are
dangerous and expensive
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

realize that swollen glands of the
neck, formerly termed scrofulous and
lately attributed to tuberculosis orig
mates in infection of the mouth.
Let Kansas lead in encouraging the
preservation of homegrown teeth.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

WHO ever heard of a convention in
Kansas" s the cry at Denver when
the VETS were fighting the prohibit
ton amendment. If the supporters of
this class of advertising will read the
Topeka, Wichita and Hutchinson news
papers they will hear plenty about con-
ventions in Kansas-not only state
wide meetings but national gatherings
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

Men drink to excess when they are
underpafd, underfed, worried and dis
tressed, says the Atlanta Georgian.
The Georgian should remember that in
most cases drink causes men to be
underpaid. underfed, worried and dis
fresSed
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19
FROM OTHER PENS
FRESH AIR IN wrny7,r,,

cNESA AIR IN WINTFp
Ill recent announcement - a.
National Association for tbe e.. py the
IeHenCon OF Tuberculosis U1ss ~
nroIat lhis statement: Fresh air =.
paooapiy the worlds best ne5io,,,a -
M UnIy IN the treatment of disease
-. ~ IN IT'S prevention. Not one naro
son IN one hundred gets enou1b pei per-
Sleep" AoS' or IN his
IL rs particularly well to remtrd
81 use sen OF the value of fresh air now
at the coming of colder weather -t rSy,oS5
season of the year is annroa, Inc
t Mnen remarks about What are voi,
cIyIng TO do, warm the whole GO
f 9ouls are in order, both from the
iearsome landladies and from econor3e
zeal husbands A eS"AOih-
But 1t is a whole lot better to warn,
1,+t tteeie OF all outdoors" than TO 90
%ienout Iresh air. Gas bills are
and less heartache accomnenteI al,
payment their
IN one of the boroughs Of I,ondor
tne city has taken upon itself the d1,tv
~ - fequIrlng all rooms used for sleep
ms purposes to be properly Ventilated
II Is plain that such reuuiren,ent
VIII be readily acceded to in sumner
out IN winter there will be trouble O.
many people seem to have the idea
mat cold air means fresh air. ON
that theory, in winter a window osad
never be opened. The fire could sim
ply be turned off until the tempera-
lure dropped to the fresh" degree.
FeopIe are healthier, as a whole. in
May, June and July, and it is because
sney get plenty of fresh air. Don't
Iorget this medicine of nature NAV he
oDtalned just as easily in January as
In June and that it is worth inst az
Ilucn TO you and to your family.-
Joplin Globe.
MORE BEEF, MORE Drawn
Inc secretary of the International
Live Stock exposition wants younp
men to assist in fighting the familiar
ana oalIy giant, the high cost of Hv
.s' ne would nave them go in for
the breeding and raising of cattle ne
cause or the slack in that industry
increasing population considered. II
Is readily demonstrated fact that
the restaurant sirloin of twenty wears
ago cost 40 or so cents and now cosrs
~ cents. This increase is start1Inp
TO the man with 40 or so cents SEND
ing more steers to the stoclya rSs -
4 putattve remedy for the beef eaters,
complaint and beef we certainlv need
The notably aggressive races bava
proceeded on heterogeneous food. Fir
lres based on assimilation percen-
ages are good and satisfying. and
- uIis 10 them there are refugees
n vegetables However, the susie
lance coming from a steak or roast
;arrles aggressiVeness with II. Tbe
neat eater was born to overUbeiy,
ne rice eater. no matter what as
limitation tables may show, we NAV
10 the virtual abandonment OF
'eeI' out Its absence will he sio-ngft
ant If the young men appeaIed -
" the exposition official car Sof1
helr work will be worthy Reef SUI
'ests Drawn, and Drawn alvavs IT,
chicago Post. WINS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

A professor says that men can easily
learn to breathe through their ears.
Don't do it. The megaphone charac-
teristics of some ears would make
snoring a capital offense.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

Hodges was given the official count
for governor by 81. When a man de-
ponds on a number under fifty to elect
him out of a popular vote of nearly
$4,000 the man who loses should be
given a chance to serve half the term.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

The New York police are worried
over the finding of murdered man in
a 'bathtub. Evidently the gunner are
neglecting their business.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

'The finest fur coat in the world,
worth $4,000, is owned by the wife
of a tobacco magnate." And perhaps
this isn't a pipe dream either.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal IN 9 member Of the
AaSocsated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report OF that great news or
SANITATION for the exclusive afternoon
publication In Topeka
The news IN received I'm The State Jour-
nal br-ilding over wires tor this sole pur-
pose
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

West Virginia went dry at Tuesdays
election. But it isn't a big state and
Kentucky is just over the border.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

Evidently even the moving pictures
can't revive the old dime novel 1t is
reported that a recent street fight in
Cheyenne spread terror through the
town."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

Moslem fanatics are preaching holy
war in the Turkish camps, but fervid
words stop no Bulgarian bullets.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

Chatting dishes have been found in the
ruins of Pompeii. Now we know why
the people of that city failed to be-
alarmed by volcanic upheavals.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

Statistics show that more bachelors
go insane than married men. All of
which goes to show that the average
man can stand one woman, but not
more than one, the jokesmiths will say.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

A Wisconsin man has to wear a
straw hat all winter as tine result of al
election bet. Still, a man with that
kind of a head won't be subjected tc
much discomfort.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

Apparently one of the provinces of
the roasted chestnut vendor is to DEM
onstrate the fact that the early bird
doesn't get all the worms.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

Now the young man who took his
girl out in a canoe during the summer
is taking her out on a motorcycle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

IT, last and one of the best of the
bumper crops this year will be tha-
borne by the Christmas trees.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

We still have the high cost of living
with us. A Kansas City woman has
just paid $50 for a husband.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19

do you really believe, doctor, that your
old medicines really keep anybody aiive?"
asked the skeptic. Surely" returned the
doctor. my prescriptions have kept three
druggists and their families alive in this
town for twenty years."-Harpers Week
"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-19
by TIE WAY
az HARvr1 PARsoasA

1t is now rumored that the Young
Turks are plotting to convert what is
left of Turkey, into a republic, but
those who have made close study OF
the situation feel that what is left will
be more suitable for converting INTO
hash.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1912-09-11
School Work Resumes

Despite the fact that scores of the
scholars of the North Yakima schools
are, engaged in the hop yards and the
orchards and at other ranch and var
ious occupations the registration of
the schools of the district Monday,
when studies were resumed for the
year. was a total in excess of 1900.
In the high school there was a regis
ation of 1876; at Barge 2O3; at Con.
trail 240; at Columbia 290; at Fairview
l49; at Garfield 12I; at Lincoln 212;
at Summltvlew 1872; at, Mckinley 297.
1t will be seen from these figures that
apart from the high school the regis
tration at Mckinley was highest de-
spite the fact that the seventh aud
eighth grades there have been elm
mated. That part of the district is
growing rapidly The work this year
will be done with last years staff of
teachers almost totally the changes In
the teaching force numbering scan
hair dozen.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1912-09-11
TETON ASSOCIATION
MUST RELEASE SHARES
Over Eleven Thousand Represent
j Non-Irrigable Acreage-Years
Financial Statement

Secretary R. H. Warwick Of the
an interesting report to the associa-
ton at its annual meeting Saturday,
when he showed that with 1890
shares subscribed during the year the
date reaches an aggregate of 41,72S.
The irrigable area is 3o,55234, which
leaves to be released, because the
land is non-irrigable some 11,175.89
shares. This makes, therefore, a to-
tai of 34,500 share under the Teton.
The land for which shares have
not been issued comprises 2274 acres
belonging to the state. 581 of public
lands, which is homestead land, ETC.,
327 acres of railroad land and sos
acres in private ownership.
The income of the association for
the year, as reported by Mr.. WARWICK
with, with 1878 cash on hand at the
first of the year, a total of s4.O54 and
tie expenditure was 1854, which
leaves a round figure balance of $500.
Amendments to Bylaws
Amendments were made to the by
laws on Saturday providing as fol-
lows: THAT one share, and no moro,
shall be allotted for each acre of land
provided that fractional shares may
be allotted for ,proportionate fraction
al areas"
There was an amendment also COW
ering the time within which shares
might be withdrawn and return
made thereon of assessments exacted.
The time was extended to read with
in two years after April 1, 1905" and
this was an amendment to section 8
of article 2.
Hon. A. j. Splawn. president of the
association, resigned his office and
his position as trustee, the meeting
hours as fixed conflicting with hours
now devoted to public service for the
city of North Yakima. As the five
trustees Messrs. H. M. Gilbert, w. l.
Huxtable. w. l.. Lemon, F. ]. Will
cox and Nick Hartung We're selected.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1912-09-11
MITE ESKIMOS' RE
d|G1ND AQRsEI
Explorer Stefanson Believes He
Has Found Descendants of
Early Morse Colony

SEATTLE, Sept 9.-Vilhjalmar
Stefanson, after spending more than
four years in Arctic exploration, re-
turned to Seattle today by a steam
er from Nome and told Of his prob
able discovery of the descendants of
the Scandinavian colonists Of Green
land, who were last heard of in 1412.
Stefanson and his companion, DR.. r.
NJ Anderson, of Forest City, Iowa,
made a valuable geological and
chronological collection which is being
taken to San Francisco by Anderson
on board the whaling vessel.
The so-called white Eskimos,'
Stefanson said he discovered along
Coronation Bay. He says they are
taller than the Greenland Eskimos,
but shorter than the Alaskan Eskim-
os. They spoke Eskimo though Stef-
anson said he believed he detected
some Morse words. He said they
have no tradition of their ancestry.
Tho blonde Eskimos have blue eyes,
very blonde eyebrows. and many have
sandy or red boards.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1912-09-11
Quarrel Over Roosevelt

PORTLAND, Sept, s.-Colonel
Roosevelt will not visit Vancouver
Wednesday. AS the result of n
remonstrance sent by the local COM
mittee when they learned the colonel
had consented to visit the little city
across the Columbia, Colonel Roose-
welt wired the committee this after
noon that the Vancouver trip had
been abandoned.
After the committee on arrange
ments tonight decided not to allow
the ex-president to visit the luncheon
of the transportation club, the club
wired to Roosevelt asking that the
committees decision be overruled.
They stated the committe previously
promised that the colonel should visit
the lunch, but at the last minute re-
scinded the agreement.
The plan was abandoned tonight 20
shower the colonel with roses during
the parade. The federal authorities
objected on the grounds that it gave
too great an opening to person
seeking 20 assassinate Roosevelt.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1912-09-11
TACOMA IS COMING
TO THE STATE FAIR
Boosters Will Have a Special
Train Bearing Banners An
nomcing Destination

Tacoma is coming to the state fair.
A whole trainload of Tacoma's bust
ness men are due to arrive in North
Yakima Wednesday, September rs, to
spend the afternoon and evening
here. Word has been received from
Secretary T. A. Martin of the Tacoma
Chamber OF Commerce and CONNER
cial club that they have accepted an
invitation Of the Yakima Commercial
club, seconded by the state fair asso-
citation, 20 be here on that day. and
plans for their entertainment are now
being worked on by Secretary Ware
Of the commercial club and Secretary
Averill of the fair.
The Tacoma boosters expect to
leave that city early in the morning
on their special train, which is TO
carry banners announcing that they
are coming to the state fair. They
are to make O. short stop at Gle Elum.
and another at Ellensburg, and are
to arrive in North Yakima at 1916
Plans for their entertainment here
Will probably include short sight
seeing trip about the city and sub
urbs as guests of the commercial
club, and a visit to the fair grounds,
where the visitors will have an oppor-
tunity to see some of the displays of
Washington products. Plans for the
evening entertainment are not COM
plete..
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1912-09-11
COMPANY IS RifIemen

Lieutenant John w. Diamond Of
Company E Of North Yakima of the
National Guard of Washington has
selected the team which will repre-
sent his company at the state match
which will be held this week at Fort
Lawton, 1t Is as follows: First Ser
geant Lloyd Y. Turnell. Sergeant
George j, Benout. Sergeant Sam r.
Martin, Artificer VIM. A Mondell and
Privates II. w. Smith and c. w.
O'Neal and Musician Clarence Parne-
ly. Lieutenant Diamond viii be cap
tain of the team. The men will leave
here Wednesday evening and will go
into camp at Fort Lawton Thursday.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1912-09-11
FRANKIE BURNS WINS
IN GRUElL|NG FIGHT
Settles Old Grudges By Signal De-
feat of Hogan Before 5000
Frenzied Fans

SAN FRANCISCO, Sept "a deep
seated grudge of long standing settled
here today when frankie Burns of
Oakland knocked out zone Round
Jack Hogan Of this city in the tenth
fore 5000 frenzied fight fans.
The venom and hate behind every
punch was so intense that force was
necessary to make the belligerents
take their corner on one or two &C.
casions after the gong had terminated
the round. The contest was one OF
the most sanguineary every witnessed
in the local arena and the gameness of
Hogan, who was subjected to gruelling
trip-hammer face punches was mar
velous.
Bui rs took command at the third
and only the expert coaching of Spider
Kelly, Hogan's chief second and the
gong saved Hogan from defeat. Burns
tried to end matters in the fourth,
but Hogan rallied marvelously, as
sumed the aggressive and sent in hard
rights and lefts until Burns features
were badly swollen.
The five next rounds were savage
ones, Burns boring in and Hogan
gamely trying to check the Oakland
er's onslaught. In the tenth Burns
met Hogan with a vicious uppercut
that signalled defeat. He followed
this with three crashes to the jaw
that sent Hogan to the canvas. Hogan
gamely struggled to his feet, but he
was done for. The rest was easy for
Burns, who planted a solid finishing
blow to the chin.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1912-09-11
FREH4V|ATOR WINS 5.
lEHllAhE CUR RACE
Jules Vedrines Making Average
Speed of 1865 Miles Per
Hour Gets Trophy

CHICAGO. Sept. 9.-France today
won the worlds aviation champions
ship. Jules Vedrines driving a mono.
plane took from America the James
Gordon Bennett silver trophy without
contest. Not an American aeroplane
rose in defense of the cup won by
this country from England last year
Lloyd Thompson, the only American
aviator, who had not withdrawn FROM
the race up to the last hour, took a
flnal glimpse at Vedrine's record and
walked off the field, Vedrine's time
for completing 124S miles over ala
mile course was 1:10;56.S5. His aver
age time was 1865 miles per hour.
His only competition was two
Frenchmen. Provost, who made the
distance in 1;13.10.82 and Frey who
descended after 23 laps because of en-
CINE trouble.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1912-09-11
PROGRESS|vES
MUST GUESS
Official Returns From Saturday's
Primaries VIII Not Be Before
Convention
COUNT OF BALLOT WILL
NOT BE AVAILABLE
On Eve of State Convention Of
Progressive Party 1t Seems That
Official Information VIII Not
Be in Possession of Leaders

SEATTLE, Sept. 81. w. Bryan
was nominated congressman at-large
at the progressive primary Saturday
by 1900 majority, over John E. Bal
laine. The only uncertainty in con-
gressional nominations remaining IL
in the Third district. where Goodwin
is increasing his lead over Durham.
SEATTLE, Sept. 9.--It looks as
though the progressive state con-
vention would be obliged to guess at
the result of the state primary cleo
ton last Saturday for the state head
quarters is without official informa-
ton Of the votes cast in many coun-
ties and early tonight even the count
of King county was not completed.
However, the decision of the state
convention is binding upon the score
tary of state and he will place upon
the ballot the nominees certified by
the convention and not inquire into
the primary.
Probable Progressive State Ticket
From all information obtainable,
the following will be the list of prob
able winners In the primary as COM
piled.
Governor-Robert T. Hodge, Se-
attic; Lieutenant Governor, Govnot
Teats Tacoma; Secretary of State. W.
H. Ford, Darlington treasurer, u.
Corey, Centralia; attorney general,
G. Mills. Seattle: commissioner
public lands, w. H. Kaufman.
lngham; insurance commissioners
N. Hunt, North Yakima. II
Apparently John E. Ballaine hAs
beaten j. w. Bryan for the nomina-
ton for congressman at larger M
Durhans [6uccdes Deaeat ~
SPOKANE. Sept. 9.--N. w. Dur
ham conceded tonight the nomination
of F. M. Goodwin. his opponent for
the congressional nomination in the
Third district.