El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-06-11

z \ n a b
MI Diary. since I wrote on these
pages. and my last record was
of poor Mary's death
Only a month, and it seems as II
all the months of my life before are
not longer. 1 have tried to be recon
ciled to lOsinG Mary. and have tried
just as hard TO make up my mind TO
90 through life without Josephine, and
Z seems TO me the struggle is just as
hard as it was the day il began
/ want Mary back, that l may 80 to
her and ask her TO marry me, not only
that 1 may make her happy, but that
it is all that Will save me. I want this
struggle to escape from thoughts OF
JOsePhineNtO end, and / know the only
way it can ever end is for me to place
my heart and soul and future keep
ing in the love of some good woman
Once for all, ] know to my sorrow
that / love Josephine against reason,
against promise, against peace, against
hope, against happiness Once for all.
I love her none the less because I
know il, and il has no more influence
in restraining me than if 1 deVoutly
believed her to be human perfection.
1 love her because L find her ir-
strong drink that takes away mis-
senses, makes him a slave, and gives
him nothing in return.
Haunt Her House At Night.
love her so madly that I sneak
past her house at night, hoping to
catch glimpse of her at the window.
/ love her so wildly that / have not
changed my WILL which leaves her all
1 have, though that viii and my death
would again make Mary's little brood
of nieces and nephews homeless
love her more than I can ever say,
yet with such a stubbornneSs that I
refuse to answer her letters, and have
barred the doors of my home against
hn- Ia a
heart as well.
/ went west after NIary's death.
first making arrangements to help her
brother care for his little family He
has taken the oldest boy to a ranch up
north with him; 1 have put the two
next in age in college, and have the
two little girls here in my home with
a nurse in charge.
All this was uOne while / was gone.
1 wanted TO be spared the detail OF
arrangement and left 1t to a good
friend TO convert the top Of my house
into nursery, get skilled nurse, ana
bring the babies here.
Elizabeth is seven, Manette five and
I found when I returned a week ago
from month in the west that they
had taken possession OF the hearts Of
the household. Forbes gives me a
divided attention these DAYS, and last
evening. when in my loneliness I tried
to pass the time with my Nictrola, he
came in with the suggestion that the
noise might disturb Miss Manette.
Well. 1 am glad of it. I am glad
] have the children here. I have is
sued orders that they are to have din
ner with me every night, much against
the wishes of the nurse, who has iron
clad rules hedging them about, one
of which is they must be in bed by
seven.
That's all right" I said to her;
FORBES, tell the housekeeper that
hereafter I want dinner served at
six"
But" she protested. you will have
things to eat not good for them:
wouldn't il be better for them to have
a very light supper in the nursery2T
we will have "A very light supper
here" 1 replied, and now I am going
back to a diet good for babies. But
it will be just as good for me. for il
will prove diet that SuStainS love
breeds tenderness, and develops char
ity. I need what these two babies
will do for me a great deal more than
they need what L can do for them
Dinner With the Children.
We had dinner together tonight for
the first time 1t certainly would have
had seen me. I had Manette on my
right, and Elizabeth on my left. and
we told wonderful tales about fairies
over our broth discovered the most
unkitten like traits in the pet kitten
while eating the very little meat and
We getabIes allowed us. and decided we
could fight a giant as high as the
church steeple while eating our rice
pudding
Then 1 held one on each knee. and
told them stories Of little Brownies
that punish bad boys / find that.
Young as they are. they like best the
creatures of the imagination who nun ]