The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1912-07-05
A Sewing Machine
Bargain
By M. QUAD
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1912, by Associated Lit.
erary Press.

If Sarah Schemerborn. widow Of
Jabez Schemerhorn. had not lived In
the outskirts of the village Of Elyrta
she would have been indicted as a nui-
sance. She had some sympathy on &C.
count OF her looks. being without doubt
the homeliest woman In the state. but
she got no sympathy for the way she
played the fiddle Years ago, when she
was just as homely. but not 80 old.
she had bought cheap fiddle and
taught herself the notes of an air.
That was "Old Dog Tray" She sang
as she played. and the combination had
The widow had twenty acres of land
and some money In the bank. but ped
oilers. sewing machine men and others
with something to sell did not lind her
an easy prey. On the contrary. she
was so tight listed. as we'll as abusive.
that all got to avoid her. and the only
caller would be some new man on the
road. Such was a sewing machine
man named Brown. 1t was known that
the widow had no machine In the
house, and he was sent to her as
Joke. He found her on the front steps
with her fiddle He heard the words
OF her song when yet quarter of a
mile away He stopped his rig at her
gate and got down and went in. and as
he stood before her he realized that he
had never seen or heard the like be-
fore He was plain. straight man.
and when the woman had finished her
song and her music he dared to say:
II don't believe there Is homeiier
woman on the face Of the earth"
'Nor l, either" was the reply.
"And you ought to be jailed for tor.
turing that fiddle"
IAN l so doggoned bomely as they
say around hereY'
Il have travelled in Europe, Asia and
Africa, and l never saw the liker he
boldly replied.
"And my fiddlingT"
ut is enough to drive one insane"
"And my singing"
"Worse than all the rest"
Say" remarked the widow. you
talk like q square man. I'll 60 out to
the wagon and look machine over"
She didn't buy one. though she prom
Used to think the matter over. Mr..
Brown was going away, not greatly
disaplninted. when she said to him:
YOU probably think. same as all the
rest. that there is not man In the
state who would marry meY'
"Cm-l don't want to say that"
But you think I'd have a mighty
hard squeeze of it to pick up anything
wearing trousers?'
"Somewhat that way"
''Tell you what I'll do don't need
a sewing machine no more than cat
needs two tails. but If you'll find me
husband who'll marry me for myself
alone I'll take machine and pay yon
the price of three"
The agent took long. steady look
at the woman and shook his head In
doubling way and said:
"I'll keep my eyes open for man.
but don't expect the impossible
Fortune favored him within week
as it always has favored every SEWN.
machine agent whose heart was in his
work Forty miles away lived an old
man, long a widOwer named Andre VS.
He wasn't fright to look at. but he
had tastes that made nim talked of and
pointed out. He sang songs. When
he began to sing one all the crows IN
the neighborhood flew away and did
not return for two days. He did not
play on the fiddle. but on the accordion
That old man could take that old &C
Gordon and yank more signs and walls
and laments out OF it than all the wild
Ows in the state could utter. He was
singing and playing when the sewing
machine man arrived.
The old man played and sang for
ten minutes before noticing the stran-
ger. and then be stopped long enough
to say:
mo use for sewing machine-Pm a
lone man on this cold airth"
the reply.
II don't want any notions.
II haven't any"
And | can't be swindled on any pat
ent right.
II never handled any,"
Then what in the devil do you
want?'
Nothing tall You are the one that
wants. Mr.. Andrews. 1 know of a
woman whose voice would just har-
monte with yours"
'"Then why in thunder don't you lead
me to herY'
Three or four days later be was led.
He was accompanied by his voice and
accordion. Long before reaching the
Widow Schemerhorn's place she was
heard singing and playing.
"Tt'S what Two hankorod fOrT' amiloi