davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Referred to an Expert.

A stylishly dressed woman in a
smart-looking brougham narrowly
averted running over messenger boy
riding a bicycle. The woman stopped
her car and opened the door Of the
electric to express her sympathy.
But the boy was ahead Of her, and
in harangue that for emphasis would
have made Captain Kidd or any of the
old buccaneers green with envy, told
her exactly what he thought of the in
cident.
The woman closed the door hurried
ly, and, turning to her eight-year-old
son, who, dressed like Lord Fauntle-
roy, sat demurely beside her, said in
shocked voice:
81 never heard such language in my
life"
ooh, that's nothing" the little fell
low told his mother. "You ought to
have heard the cook talking to the
neighbors about you the other day"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Ought TO Be Satisfied,

Aunt Beulah's besetting sin was
housekeeping. She cleaned in season
and out Of season, causing the fam.
lily much worry when sweeping
brought on an attack of lumbago or
carrying out ashes gave her the grip.
One day her patient sister protested.
"Why don't you let the maid do
those things?" she asked.
shes so careless" groaned Aunt
Beulah; I'D rather have the pain
than the dust. I'd rather have the
pain" T
Then the Smart Little Boy jumped
into the conversation. well, you've
got the pain" he remarked. what are
you kicking about?"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
RECORD STILL STANDS
FEATs OF AMERICAN WAR HORSE
ARE UNSURPASSED.
Captain Mays Black Tom Said to
Have Made Prodigious Leaps
once Ridden Up Flight OF
Steps and Into Hotel.

"Only less celebrated than Old
Rough and Ready's favorite white
charger" writes Gen. James Grant
Wilson. was Capt. Charles Augustus
Mays Black Tom, a magnificent coal
black gelding Captain May was the
beau sabreur of Taylor's army in
Mexico.
"At the head of his squadron of the
Second United States Dragons, Cap
tain May led a gallant charge against
a Mexican battery in the battle of Re
SAGA de la Palma, May 9, 1916, and,
leaping Tom over one OF the guns, cap
tured General La Vega and the entire
battery of six pieces.
May possessed an unsurpassed mil
itary record for leaping with Tom,
and it is quite possible one that has
never been equaled in the hunting
field, or even on the race course. My
friend, the late Hon. Francis C. Law
ley, perhaps the highest British au-
thority on the subject, gives "a feet
as the greatest distance ever covered
by an English horse In a steeplechase
or elsewhere.
BLACK Tom jumped 35 feet on a
wager during the Mexican war, and
three years later May made another
bet that with flying start of so yards
he could leap Tom across canal 36
feed in width. They came laundering
along at terrific speed, the jet-black
steed nearly II hands high, and May
more than six feet, sitting like cen
taur Tom gave a mighty jump, but
fell short, and, Of course, man and
horse had very sudden and cold bath,
for the attempt was made in midwin-
ter.
For Charlie O'Malley leap over a
cart loaded with cord of weed, stand
ing in front of the city hall, the colo
mel was fined in a Baltimore court. On
another occasion the dashing cavalry
man rode Tom up the steps of the
leading hotel of that city, cavorted
around and through several Of the
principal apartments and then coolly
rode out again, as if 1t was an ordin-
airy, everyday occurrence.
Thoroughbred Tom was a spirited
and rather diff cult horse for any one
but his master to ride or control. A
Maryland friend, wishing to make a
fine appearance before a Baltimore
belle, borrowed Mays steed, but bear
Ing too hard on the bit when near the
lady's residence in Cathedral street,
Tom began bucking, finally tossing the
unfortunate lover into the street and
galloping back to his stable.-Bulletin
of the S. P. G. A.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

So shall my walk be close with God,
Calm and serene my frame,
So purer light shall mark the road
That leads me to the Lamb.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Missing the Point.

Representative Rucker of Colorado,
apropos of a tariff argument about
sugar, said to a Washington cores
pendent: ooh, we'll, those men don't
see my point. They miss 1t as badly
as the old lady missed her sons.
Mother young man said, look
ing up from the Bulletin, would you
believe that it takes 5000 elephants
year to make our piano keys and
billiard balls?'
Make our piano keys and billiard
balls!' cried the old lady. Well,
always understood elephants were in
telligent creatures, but 1 never knew
before that they'd been trained to
make piano keys and billiard balls I"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

Do life
Natures
GdD
Blodo
Godn
Medical
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

call malnutrton which attended with impoverished blood
exhaustion of FORCE The Discovery eli.
tonic which the blood, and
heart by initiating Natures methods of restoring
of tissue and feeding the nerves. heart and lungs rich
red blood.
suffered from pain under right shoulder blaze ALSO
Pierce Buffalo, Had four different doctors and dA
have OPERATION unable to .x months
Perce Golden Medical Discovery
When had taken bottle of the could sit
hour
then in good health Ny weight is 167 pounds.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
A Card Of Thanks.

wish to thank the public for the kind
words said for my book on rheumatism:
its cause and cure. feel very grateful
and well repaid for the fifteen years Of
labor that I have given to the subject
I would add that I have a few more
er from rheumatism that would like one.
No matter what your condition is from
this terrible disease I would advise you to
read it. THOUSANDS SAY IT IS THE
MOST WONDERFUL BOOK EVER
WRITTEN on the subject of rheumatism.
suffered with rheumatism for over
twenty years. I have not had a Rheu-
matte pain for over eight years.
II you would like my book, write today.
DON'T SEND A STAMP; IT IS ABSO-
LuTELY FREE.
JESSE A. CASE,
Dept. D. Brockton, Mass.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
THE OLD PLEA
He "Didn't Know Ii Was Loaded"

F.. The coffee drinker seldom realizes
-. that coffee contains the drug, caffeine,
q severe poison to the heart and
nerves, causing many forms of dis
ease, noticeably dyspepsia.
81 was a lover Of coffee and used 1t
for many years, and did not realize the
bad effects l was suffering from its
use. (Tea is just as injurious as cof-
fee because 1t, too, contains caffeine,
,the same drug found in coffee.)
"At first was troubled with indiges-
ton. 1 did not attribute the trouble
to the use of coffee, but thought 1t
:arose from other causes. With these
attacks I had sick headache, nausea
and vomiting. Finally my stomach
was in such condition could scarce
Fly retain any food.
Il consulted a physician; was told
all my troubles came from fndiges-
.tion, but was not Informed what
caused the Indigestion. kept on with
the coffee, and kept on with the trou-
bles, too, and my case continued to
grow worse from year to year until it
developed into chronic diarrhea, nau-
sea and severe attacks of vomiting. I
could keep nothing on my stomach and
became a mere shadow, reduced from
159 to 12s pounds.
"a specialist informed me I had
very severe case of catarrh Of the
stomach, which had got so bad he
could do nothing for me, and became
convinced my days were numbered.
"Then I CHANGED to see an article set
ting forth the good qualities OF Postum
and explaining how coffee injured peo-
pie SO I concluded to give Postum
trial. soon saw the good effects-my
headaches were less frequent, nausea
and vomiting only came on at long in
tervals and l was soon a changed man,
feeling much better.
Then l thought I could stand coffee
again, but as soon as tried 1t my old
troubles returned and 1 again turned
to Postum. Would you believe it,
did this three times before had sense
enough to quit coffee for good and
Keep on with the Postum. am now
well man with no more headaches, sick
stomach or vomiting, and have al
ready gained back to lat pounds"
Name given by Postum &C., Battle
Battle Creek, Mich.
Look In pkgs. for the famous little
book, 1.-THE Road to Wellville."
Ever read the above Ietterf new
one appears from time ts time. They
are genuine, true, and full of humaA
Interest.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
The RuIinu Passion,

r Little Willie was an embryo cleo
trician. Anything relating to his
favorite study possessed absorbing in
terest for him. One day his mother
appeared in a new gray gown, the
jacket of which was trimmed in fiat
black buttons showing an outer circle
of the light dress material. Willie
studied the gown critically for mo-
ment, then the light Of strong ap-
proval dawned in his eyes.
"Oh, mamma" he cried, what a
pretty new dress! It's all trimmed in
push buttons.'-Judge.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Before Publication

Patsy, bring me a paper when you
come to work in the morning" wo-
man who lived at the edge Of vii
lage told her man of all work when
he went home at night. Nov, don't
forget it," she added.
mo, ma'am," said Patsy, Il won't
l might forget it if left it until morn
ing, so I'll get it tonight"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Getting Amerlcanized.

It does not take long for Americas
future citizens to adopt American
styles. He had just landed at the Bat
terry, and was toiling up Broadway
with his big canvas-covered trunk up
on his back. A bright orange tie set
off his crisp black locks, and long,
heavy ulster tapped at his heels. But,
browning glory of all-perched on his
head, and toyed with by the biting
winds that swept in from the sea. was
a brand-new American straw hat-a
fitting crown for a citizen in a country
where every man is a king.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

LSSD a. OASE,
Dept. D. Brockton. Mass.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Caution.

A commercial traveller at a railway
restaurant in one Of our southern
towns included in his order for break
fast two boiled eggs. The old darkey
who served him brought three.
Uncle" said the travelling man,
why in the world did you bring me
three boiled eggs? I only ordered
two."i
Yes, sir" said the old darkey, bow
ing and smiling, 81 know you did Or
der two, sir, but l brought three be-
cause JUS naturally felt dat one of
dem might fail you. ir."-Harper's
Weekly.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

He who has not learned how to be
gentle, forgiving, loving and happy,
has learned very little, great though
his book learning and profound though
his acquaintance with Scripture may
be; for it is in the process of becom-
ing gentle, pure, and happy that deep.
real, enduring lessons Of life are learn
ed. Unbroken sweetness in the face
Of outward antagonism is the infallible
Indication Of self-conquered soul, the
witness Of wisdom, andd the proof Of
the possession Of Truth--James Al
Len
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
How Old Was He?

In country school the boys Of a
certain grade were devoted to their
teacher, young lady of many charms.
One little fellow of rather uncertain
age was constantly proving his devo-
ton by little acts Of kindness, which
did not escape the notice of the teach
er. Coming up to him one day she
put an arm about his shoulders and
said: believe 1 will kiss you for
being SO good to me, but how old are
you?"
ooh, that's all right" he said, 81
am old enough to enjoy it."-Mack's
National Monthly.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
I Object TO GIvInu NV Bah,

soothing remedies that put him to
sleep but I find that Kopp's Baby's
Friend relieves baby when teething
and keeps him laughing and playing
till bed time, says Mrs. o. A. Brown,
Wilmington, Ohio. Sold by druggists,
10c., Csc. and Soc, or sent direct by
Kopp's Baby's Friend Co., York, Pa
Sample by mail on request.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Mas Sure He Knew Ii.

The physiology class in a country
school was studying about the back
bone.
Teacher-What are the pieces OF
cartilage for between the vertebrae?
A little boy raised his hand.
well, Eddie, you may tell u.s." the
teacher said.
ITO take the jars off the jumps"
answered the triumphant Eddie.-Nor-
man E. Macks National Monthly.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
A Sad Handlcap.

fourth floor"
whats that?"
HE plays the cornet for his own
amusement, but he got so hard up late
ly that he had to pawn the instru-
ment."
"Wel1?"
Now he can't borrow a dollar in
the entire building because everybody
Is afraid he'll get the blamed tooter
out Of pawn"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Cause of the Row,

Mrs. Brown had a dreadful quar-
rel with her husband last night?"
THAT so?"
Eyes. She bid eight on hand that
was good for ten, not thinking Mr..
Brown would overbid her, but he did.
1t almost broke Up the party"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10


less, and ran down
from ITO to 120
pounds. It was de-
cided an operation
was my only hope,
but it was unsuc-
cessful and I was
IN despair. On a
friends advice I be-
gan using Doan's
Kidney Pills and
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

shortly after passed a gravel stone the
size of pea. 1 passed nine stones
in all and from then on improved as
If by magic until now I am the picture
of health"
when Your Back Is Lame, Remem-
Der the Name-DOAN'S. SOC all stores
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, NY.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Rows Idea

Willie was looking at the pictures in
magazine when suddenly he turned
to his father and asked: PA, do CO.
coanuts really grow on trees?"
"Of course! Where did you think
they grew"
why, pa, always thought the mon
keys laid 'em" -Boston Transcript.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
In the Dark.

HAS that boy of yours who gradu-
ated from college last year found job
that suits him YETI"
Nope. He's still looking for one"
where's he looking?"
well, don't just know. He seems
to do most of his looking nights
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
When Your Ewes Need Care

Try Murine Eye Remedy. No smarting-Feels
Fine-Acts Quickly. Try It for Red, Weak,
Watery Eyes and Granutated Eyelids. Illus
trated Book in each Package. Murine is
compounded by our Oculists-not a "Patent Med
icine"-but used in successful Physicians PIac-
tice for many years. Now dedicated to the Pub
lie and sold by Druggists at CSC and Soc per Bottle
Murine Eye Salve In Aseptic Tubes, 2sc and &c.
Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
The Rockv Road

Chatty Individual (standing refresh.
ment to casual acquatntance)-ld es.
say you've had a pretty hard life,
mostly on the board, | suppose?
Tragedian- Harder than that, sir
mostly on the rocks-London Punch.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

startling message
that the Lor d
would come with
ten thousand Of
his saints to ex-
g c u t g judgment
upon all, disap-
peared. W h a t
commotion t b | s
d l 8 a p p g a r.
ance caused we
are not told.
There was no
record Of the fact,
as far as we
know, for nearly
two tn gu 8 a n d
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

"a kiss" he said after just having
had one, lis the most precious thing,
and yet women give them away"
You are mistaken" she said. I'VE
never give them away, we merely in
vest them"-Fun.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
EasiIy.

Easily.
Howell-He has a prosperous look.
Powell-Yes, you could tell at a
glance that he was single man.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
UnduIy Suspicious.

"Gwendolen, have you been out
driving with a young MANI"
Yes, auntie."
"H'umph!"
But he had only one arm that he
could use, auntie; he had been vac
cinated on the other one"
(Pause)
"Gwendolen, didn't you do the driv-
ing?"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

The Paxton Toilet Co. Of Boston,
Mass. will send a large trial box of
Paxtine Antiseptic. a delightful cleans
ing and germicidal toilet preparation,
to any woman. free. upon request.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
a Short TrIp.

"Dibbles started to church last Sun
day"
THAT was a step in the right direc-
ton
"True. but unfortunately a step was
as far as he went"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Fish Story.

Knicker-A month ago l told a lie
on the water.
Bocker-Well?
Knicker-I cut open the fish
caught today and found he had swal-
lowed 1t.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Takes a Week

Il thought your daughter was COM
ing home from the beach this week"
We had t. let her remain another
week in order to finish saying good
by to a young man."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

Hicks CAPUDINE is the best remedy-re-
leves the aching and feveris lness-cures the
Cold and restores normal conditions. It's
hquid-effects Immediately. l0c., Csc, and SOC.
At drug stores
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Misunderstood.

misunderstood.
your wife will be married twice.
Her second husband will be hand
some, wise and honorable, man OF
simple tastes and refined habits with
the manners Of courtier."
Hang the old cat! She never told
me she had been married before"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Do Not Require Alcohol.

People in ordinary health do not
require alcohol in any form, and are
not benefited by it even in very small
quantities. Surg Major H. Caylay.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

Every woman is sorry for some 9th
er woman because Of what her hus-
band told her about the other woman's
husband.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Her CiQarette.

Il never smoke except in my own
room"
Il often smoke when I'm out, but
it's always for the first time!''
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

Garfield Tea, the incompatible laxative.
Pleasant to take, pure, mild in action and
wonderfully health-Giving.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Expiainad

THE count has painfully snobhish
air. What does he base it on?"
why, his father, the marquis. was
the victim of a duel"
"a French dued?"
Yes
"Impossible!"
Not at ALL The marquis climbed
a tree to get out Of the way, and fell
and broke his neck"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
In the Chase

Gink-Your son is pursuing his
studies at college, isn't he?
Dink-I guess so. He's always be-
hind.-Judge.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Pa Knows.

Willie-Paw, what does discretion
mean?
Paw-Picking out a small man
when you are looking for trouble
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

Mrs. Wtnslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces iuhamma-
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie, 25c a bottle.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

For HEADACHE-HIcks CAPUDINE
Nervous Troubles, Capudine will relieve you.
It's llquid-pleasant to take-acts immedi-
ately. Try 1t. l0c., 25c., and 50 cents at drug
stores
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
JWlIlE s aSa Eve E YES ENIl1A
A HOT ONE.

Miss Antique-He asked me II l re-
membered the awful cold winter OF
1869. Insulting, wasn't it?
Miss Caustique-I guess he didn't
mean to offend you. l guess he didn't
know what a bad memory you have.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

"That child actor has a part which
fits like a glove
"Yes-sort of kid glove"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

When a bachelor is landed by leap
year girl, he can imagine about how a
fish out of water feels.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

bottle-the first is hard to get, but
the rest come easy.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

The system takes kindly to natures laxa-
tive, Garfield Tea, which is mild in action
and always effective.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

Don't tax your friends overmuch
when you try to make a touch.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
Naturally,

Coated tongue, vertigo, constipation are
al relieved by Garfield Tea.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

The hot ain treatment for financial
~ Is seldom curative.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10
The Young man who tells girl

during leap year that he could listen
to her voice all the rest of his days
takes Desperate chances.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

Garfield Tea keeps the liver normal. Drink
before retiring. (.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

Even a woman never learns to
sneeze gracefully.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

The higher criticisms Of the drama
usually come from the gallery gods.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1912-05-10

Sweethearts are always dear, but
wives are far more expensive.