davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
Water Rates to New Orleans

The Alabama and New Orleans Navigation company is not letting any grass grow under its feet. It is up and doing, and it hopes to be able to begin the transportation of coal to New Orleans on December l.
 The company does not exist on pa per only. It is real crystalizing af- fair, and it proposes to drive Penn sylvania and West Virginia coal out of the New Orleans market. This can readily be done, for the self-pro- pelled barges of the new company will carry their own fuel, and they will traverse 500 miles quicker than the clumsy tows of Pittsburg can 2000 miles. The new barges have an inside passage through Mississippi sound and Lake Borgne all the way to New Or leans.
 The time is fast coming when the millions spent by the government in the Warrior and Tombigbee rivers will be utilized here as they would have been elsewhere. Water transportation is water transportation anywhere. In the carrying of heavy articles water is by far the better means of transpor- tation,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
Recent Commission Victories

Sheffield adopted the commission form of government by a sufficient but narrow margin-173 to 152-and in boss-ridden New Orleans the re- form went through with bells on. The affirmative vote in the latter was 23,9OO and the negative vote 2119. In the latter the right of initiative and referendum goes along, and the recall may be added in November.
 The municipal election in New Or leans takes place on the day of the presidential election in November. The city is then to elect mayor and four commissioners who will have charge of the city's executive and legislative work. The change has long been need ed. The bosses in New Orleans have been intolerant, corrupt and altogether undesirable. and the Crescent City is glad to get rid of them. None of them will be elected, it is plain, in No vember.
 Step by step the commission form of government is spreading through out the country. The utmost rotten ness in the great cities of the north is in evidence and the hope is that the commission form of government will prove an antidote.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
IN THE WRONG BERTH
From Judge,

From Judge.
 The long train of Pullman slepers was rushing toward New York with its loads of human freight. It was still early and only few of the passengers were astir. A china salesman in one of the lowers was awakened by commotion at the curtains of the berth above him. mo- ment later a bare foot was thrust through the opening and placed upon the foot of his bed. A woman's voice spoke in angry accents.
 Look here. John, l bought those stockings yesterday at Hunters for 9 cents pair and they guaranteed them not to crock. I'm going to send them back Just see my foot.'
 In some bewilderment the drummer be- held for an instant dainty foot upon which the discoloration was unmistakable.
 Madam he said, ''the crooks belong on the shelf across the aisle"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
NIT. Ufley Here


 James Seward Utley of New York. who has many warm personal friends in this section, is in Birmingham. A New York CT by birth and rearing. MT. Utley has spent many years of his life in the south. He has had a good deal of railroad ex- perience. Also he has been connected with the fertilizer business. and his head quarters for awhile were at Montgomery, Nr. Utley's early business training was in the New York office of the late Wil- liam Butler Duncan when the great flnaneier controlled the Mobile and Ohio
 Birmingham is unquestionably on a great boom," said MT. Utley. q used to spend some time here. and have seen this city when it was enjoying great prosperity, but I never saw if look 50 prosperous as now. It is evidently grow ing at rapid clip.
 'On my way south this time l stopped in Richmond. That city is going ahead at a faster rate than ever. It is rich city, and a very busy one. Atlanta more than holds it's own. It is pushing on- ward but in my opinion Birmingham is outstripping all the southern cities. It will not be many years before it even out grows New Orleans
 Asked about presidential politics MT Utley said that Woodrow Wilson would be elected by large majority
 Tn New York" said he. T have seen something of large interests, and I can say that the election of the democratic ticket has already been discounted When a long headed and influential banker like Jacob schiff comes out for the demo- cratic standard bearer, other able fnan- ciers, hitherto republican voters, will help the democrats to victory Wilson and Marshall will certainly sweep the coun- try
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
ANSWERED THE DESCRIPTION

Form the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 An Indianapolis man came to Cleveland a few months ago hoping to set the Cuyahoga afire. His match went out and he tried to promote a company. He failed at this and applied for job in store. They wouldn't have him there-and then he got homesick. So he went to one of his former friends, who is a railway mag nate.
 ..I want to go home, Cap" he Said. and haven't any money. Can you slip me pass?'
 Sir" said the magnate, we give passes to nobody'
 T know it,'' said our hero with a wan smile--'and have been in Cleveland just long enough to know that I'm the fellow you give passes to. I'm nobody"
 He got pass.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
FOREST HYMN

By William Cullen Bryant The groves were Gods first temples. Ere
 man learned To hew the shaft and lay the architrave. And spread the roof above them; ere hs
 framed The lofty vault, to gather and roll back The sound of anthems, in the darkling Amidst the cool and silence, he knelt
 down And offered to the mightiest solemn
 thanks And applications Let me then, at least, Here in the shadow of this aged wood. Offer one hymn-thrice happy If It find Acceptance in his ear,
 Father, Thy hand Hath reared these venerable columns;
 Thou Didst weave this verdant roof. Thou
 didst look down Upon the naked earth, and, forthwith,
 rose All these fair ranks of trees. They in Thy
 sun Budded, and shook their green leaves in
 the breeze. And shot towards heaven. The century
 living crow Whose birth was in their tops, grew old
 and died Among their branches st
 stood, As now they ssy agd tall aat
 dari- Fit ,ie sorshpDer Co Hosd Gu as Make These aifs IT aisles or hanan youlp af
 ide R, Na fantastic carvings show IT ai aqg vain racs to change The ol ks Hut TapA ast herse ri oa the soft uifaS ri rf tEesa trees In ic;A -,a-if ri from sas ilse place, Comes<. scarcely felt, 4 Ennk@
 ~sc,sgd II A.su e all .lasinsis
 ss c4it sled tas
 iAlflhles alna
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 A woman's tongue has only to be sharp enough to cut both ways.
 A politician is known by the company he can't keep when it has any self re- spect.
 It seems las if a man could never be contented with plain rheumatism till he got the gout.
 What the world really loves about lovers is how crazy they are to keep out of everybody's way. A man acts about getting his hand scratchtd the way his wife would. about getting sboth legs cut of.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
ENVY

ENVY. Though some other fellows rolling In the lap Of luxury, And you think if you were only In his place you'd happy be, There's a very ancient saying You should harbor in your breast, Tis a truth there's no denying "Qui invidet minor est" Wise men never tire of teaching Things aren't always what they seem. And we might not be contented, Had we joys of which we dream. Wc might keep on vainly wishing, Barred for aye from hope of rest, And some day come to acknowledge, "Qui invidet minor est"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

The North Haven triangle was convert ed into a we'll equipped playground with out waiting for the action of any com mission or anybody else except neighbor- hood folks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

MT. Archbold threatens to brinS suit against the colonel for libel, He says the colonel called him a liar. That suit would add to the gaiety of 4s states at any rate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

The ohio suffragettes checked their babies and then joined the political pa rade. Fortunately those babies were not mixed up.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
SWEEPING STATEMENT

SWEEPING STATEMENT. "Scriblets is going to quit being a press humorist."
 Did he tell you that?''
 NO, but he said he was not going to write any more jokes about mothers-in- law bald-headed men, women's hats, in- toxicated husbands and family fights"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

Minority Leader Mann says his op- ponents were afflicted with hookworm, but the record does not support his asser-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

The colonel speaks of the shortcomings of his country, when he created more of them to the acre than any other Pres ident.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

Intervention in Nicaragua is mere mat ter of bananas, nothing more
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

The ancient Egyptians had the hook worm, and they had no thymol and epson salts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

Senator Foral<er is gone and forgotten and Senator Penrose soon will be:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

In Belgium voters who do not go to the polls are fined, and the poll list is all the evidence that is needed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

William Jennings Bryan's contribution the Wilson campaign fund.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

No relief money was voted by the recent session of Congress to William Lori mer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

Detroit has car shortage. There are rot enough cars to carry new automo- piles to farmer buyers
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

The Presidents golf ball has been named "Col Roosevelt"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

Standard oil senators will rank low in history. They are a remniscence, the last dry stalks, of the Mark Hanna era.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

The colonel says, there are only seven states that Taft has any chance of carry ing. Vermont IS one of them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

The Standard Oips pipe lines to Wash ington should be officially plugged up.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

The thieves may have fallen out in New York, but honest men there have not yet got their dues.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
THE RED BADGE OF COURAGE

The fashions of 1880 are coming back. in- ciuding side whiskers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

The by-products of petroleum also in clude campaign subscriptions and soiled regulations.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
A BAD LOSER.

BAD LOSER. Maybe the following incident has no bearing on the theme of feminine usur-s patton of mans traditional prerogatives. but there is moral in it just the same. husky French-Canadian walked into Montreal restaurant and playfully clenehing his fist on $5 bill offered to bet the money against s1 that the waitress who was serving him couldn't force open his hand and get the money. The waitress thereupon opened his hand and took the bill The amazed strong man then took five $20 bills in his hand and bet the amount against the S5 that the girl couldn't get it away from him. The girl took the hun dred. too.
 Alas for decadent manhood! The loser claimed it was all joke. But the girl didn't believe him. Neither did the judge.-Cleveland Plain Dealer
 HARDLY WISHING HIM WELL
 The man who has
 A raucous laugh,
 We'd like to write
 His epitaph.
 We wouldn't say
 Much good of him;
 Our eyes with tears
 Would not be dim
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
JUST FOR EFFECT,

The Blicl1ers are thinking of buying a limousine
 'Is that sop
 "Yes. And for the benefit of the neigh bors they are thinking out loud"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

No dun can come in the Sunday mail hereafter. This is some satisfaction at any rate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
Indicates Conntry's Expansion

That the earnings of no single rail road reflect the trade conditions of the United States more faithfully than those of the Pennsylvania, is the state ment>made in a recent number of The Statist, a leading journal of finance and trade in England" said a Bir- mingham man. Tt is pointed out that from decade to decade the traffic of the Pennsylvania and it's earnings have shown a vast increase in consequence of the expansion in the wealth, income and trade of the country.
 Referring to the present business outlook. The Statist' says: Already the recovery has commenced and since last october the gross earnings of the railroad have shown expansion. For the first five months of 1912 the expansion in gross earnings has been s5,4440O0. or nearly 9 per cent. The volume of American trade largely depends upon the abundance of the crops; and inas much as the harvest of 1912 other than winter wheat promises to be large, a great expansion in the traffic and earnings of the Pennsylvania is as sured. If the traffic of the Pennsyl- vania shows the normal rate of expan sion in the next few years as we con- fidently anticipate 1t will do, the in- crease in the profits of the under taking should prove substantial. In re- cent years the company has, construct ed additional lines of railway along the whole length of it's system and it is now in a position to operate eco nomically a much larger traffic than it enjoys. Consequently, an increase in traffic for the next few years will not mean a corresponding increase of cap ital charges, but will bring large expansion in profit for dividend.'
 Calling attention to the earnings of the Pennsylvania last year, The Stat ist' refers to the fact that the con- pany earned profit of no less than s37 .000, 900 for dividend upon it's com- mon stock, equal to S.55 per cent on the stock, a figure nearly as large as that of the previous year, and after paving a dividend of 6 per cent there was a balance of over $11,0ve
 improvements anu capital purposes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

YE SUMMER wIDowER. A dizzy blonde. Brimful of guile. Who had a most Bewitching smile, A married man. Wife out of town. Now. prudes, you may Begin to frown. He asked her if She cared to dine: She answered 'Yes. They had some wine. So lovingly
 He looked at her. His wife would have Made quite stir, Had she been there. But she was not. Her advent would Have spoiled the plot And called the cops And wrecked the place, And plunged all three In deep disgrace.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

Straw hats are becoming cheaper every
 day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
GUILTY, YOUR HONOR"

"GUILTY, YOUR HONOR" q love you,' cried the panting bard, With all his heart and soul; The damsel eyed him, cold and hard, Then said, Co get a rol.'' In fl enzied haste he left the scene, As fast as he could run. No chance to get roll, I ween, And so he got bun
 WHAT HE DESERVED.
 Because he thought
 He knew it all.
 We chuckled when
 We saw him fall.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
CORRECT.

CORRECT. The men who say Hard work is sweet Are those who live / On Easy street.
 Cincinnati Enquirer. And those who wall The 'curse of riches" For bread don't have To dig in ditches.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
A CONSERVATIVE Fsr1,tArr

It is estimated that for each minute of time the people of the world strike 3oOo,- GOO matches, of which 1,5oo,oOo are probably borrowed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

s13 for 1913 delivery Is near proba- bility, even now being quoted by some plants on last half of this year. Other furnaces are refusing to quote at the present time.
 An evidence of the transportation situation is the continued decrease in the idle car surplus which is of course to be expected, and is an indication of the activities now being enjoyed by the railroads throughout the country"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30

SHE SPOKE TRULY. 'I must eonfess.' Said Mrs. Blickens, My husbands fond Of fancy chickens" Tis even so, Dame .Rumor says The kind one meets In swell cafes.
 Birmingham Age Herald. "T must confess" Said Mrs. Bobbs, My husbands strong For fat young squabs." And she was just Exactly right .. The kind of squabs That fly by night.
 Louisville Post.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
In Boom Times

In Boom Times
 "The Birmingham Chamber of Com- merce started a good work a year or two ago in what was k>>own as the farm movement" said a well known citizen. aThe object ofs the movement was to advertise the truck farming advantages of Jefferson county. Those who had been engaged in small farming hereabouts had faund it highly profitable, and it was thought that with intelligent exploitation hundreds of homeseelsers would come here from the north, buy small farms and add to the wealth of this community.
 ''The farm committee of the Chamber of Commerce did well, I thought. The results were appreciable the first year, but it was hardly worth while to start Il movement of the sort referred to un- less it was to be pushed for at least three or four years.
 If 100 families of truck fsFnning ex- perience could be induced to settle here during the first stwo years, double that number might be counted on for the third year. I believe, with well directed energy. fully 800 families would settle on little farms in this county before the end of five years.
 T have not kept run of the farm move ment; do not know whether the farm committee is still in existence. In this boom year a great deal of valuable work in the trucking field could be done. If the small farmer, after satisfying him self that the soil of the Birmingham dis  trict was well adapted to vegetables, bought land here when business condi- tions were not especially active it oer- tainly would be all the easier to interest that class of homeseekers now when ev- erything is prospering"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-08-30
SIGNIFICANT.

'Is Blabson a henpecked man?'
 q wouldn't like to say that about Blabson, but I notice that when he's at home he does a great deal of his loafing in the garage
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1912-07-13
CHEROKEE INDIANS WIN.

Everett. Pa, July 12.-The Cherokee
Indians beat the Everetts here in an
eleven inning battle, the score being b
to 4. Big Snake held the home team
down to six hits. In Bedford, Pa, Pa
teka shut out the Bedfords. . to o. The
Indians will play in Keyser, W. Va, on
the 18th; Piedmont. W. Va. on the 18th;
Davis W. Va. on the 18th; Cumberland.
Nd, on the 18th: Berkeley Springs, Va.
on the 18th; Winchester, Va, on the
18th; Front Royal, Va. on the 18th: Ma
nassas, Va, on the 18th: Alexandria,
Va. on the Goth. and Washington, D. c.,
on the 2lst.
The games in Washington will be
played at Union League Park. The
morning game, with the Post-office. will
be called at 1880 o'clock. The afternoon
game, q double-header. with the Wash
inston Giants, at 2 o'clock sharp. The
Indians have played this season. so far,
seventy-four games; lost i've and tied
one
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1912-07-13

Ruas-Ftzgerald. Gibson e.. stswsr 81. sEider.
Harvey. Baron. Bush SheehAn ~. Lands. Will
Jams Smallwood. First base hy errors-AdamS. l.
Left on basss-Adams. 4: Station. 4. First base
on balls-Of Harvey. !; of McCauley. !. Innings
pitched-By McCauley, Is: by Wsner. %: by
Haynes Z. Hits made-Of McCaulcy. O. of War
nor 1; of Haynes, Z Struck out-By HanEey. u;
by HAYNES. 4 Three-base hits-Stcwart, Williams.
Two-base hits-Ftzserald. Bush Sacrifice hit
Knott Stolen bases-FitzgerAld e.. Suidsr ~.
Baron o. Sheehan "a. Violet ~, McMahon.
Lsndis Smallwpod Double plsys-BeAi to Ian
dis; McIahon to Lands TO Knott: Baron to Glib
ron to Violet. Hit BY pitcher-By Harvey. Ian
dis. Wild pitches-Hanrey. McCsuley ~. Passed
balls-Snidsr. s. Umpire-Mr. Kehl. Time Of game
i hour and % minutes.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1912-07-13

Huns-HaTis q, StrctheTs. Murray e., F. MillcT
A White. FitzhuEh -. McCaffray O. Ligon
Boehschmidt. Left on bases-FirSt ". p. s: Metro
roltan. .. First base on bals-Of Lloyd. 4; OF A
White. 4. Innings Iitched-By Thoup-on Is; by
Lloyd, 623 Hits nade-On THOMPSON !: OF
Lloyd, 3. Struck out-By Thompson. /: BY Lloyd. 4 !:
BY A. White. g. Three-base hits-Lizou . Two
base hits-F. Miller ~. Harris Murray. Sacrifice
fy-G. Miller. Sacrifice hits-HArrs McCafray o.
stolen bases-Haris Murray. Jackson e., l. Miller
]. White. Hit By ritcher-By A. White Bach
schmid. Fitzhush, McCafrey. Wild pitches-Lloyd
!. Umrdre-Mr. Jaeschke. Time Of game hour and
30 minutes
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1912-07-13
ALEXANDER FANS TEN.
PhillieS Beat the Reds by TO 1
Score,

Cincinnati. July 12.-Alexander struck
out ten OF the Reds to-day. most Of them
with men on bases, and so pulled through
to to victory. Although he was hit
freely and gave four bases on balls,
Suggs was not effective and his support
by the Reds infield was poor. The Phil
lies had their regular team in action for
the first time in weeks and put up a
hustling and aggressive game. Score:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1912-07-13
RELY AFTER BOUT.
Irish Wrestler from West Wants
Match In Capital.

Tim Rely. the well known heavy
weight wrestler from Long Beach, Cal.
arrived in town last night, looking for
a match with the best man in the DIS
trict. Rely stated that he would take
on any man in the world.
Rely will be in town for the next few
days and would like to arrange a match
at once. He can be reached at this ONCE
at o'clock tonight.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1912-07-13

Runs-Csmpbell. Sweeney. Tinker. leach. EVers.
Cheney e.. Left on bases-BoStou. e; Chicago. 5
Tvotase hits-ZmmeTman, Cheney. Sacrifice hits
Rourke Sheckard ~. Schultz. Stolen bases
Leach, 2 Double plsys-kIke to Sweeney TO Gowdy;
Tinker to Erers TO Safer. First base on bals-Of
Cheney. 2; of Donney. ! Struck OIt-By Cheney.
9. Hit by pitched baIl-CAmPbell. Wild Pitch-Dcn-
nelly Cmrires-Messrs. Rigler and Fnneran. Time
Of game-l hour and 30 minutes
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1912-07-13

Left on bases-Braddock. 4: Southern, 5 First
base on bals-Of Munich, J. Struck out-By
Munich, s; by Cuttings. l. Twcbase hits-Gittings,
Handy. Sacrifice hit-Shugrue. Stolen bases-
Morris. shugrue. Helm e.. LoehI e. Mudd. John
son Hit By pitcher-By Munich. Seay: by Gittings,
Bolen. Passed balls-Loehl Shea Umpre-Mr
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1912-07-13
METROPOLITAN LOSES.
First NJ. p. Takes Good Game by
to q Score.

The Methodists won out in the last
inning. to 6. from Metropolitan in the
East Washington Sunday School League.
Thirteenth and D Streets Northeast. The
game was interesting all the way. The
fielding OF Johnny Lyon and the batting
OF Fred Miller and Lyon featured the
contest. Score:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1912-07-13

Runs-Hunmel. o. Miller. Byne Carey, DOnlin,
Wagner (2J. J. Miller. simon. Hendrix TWcbaSe
hits-Doulin. J. Miller. q. Miller. Wagner. Tire
base hit-Tcoev. Sacrifice hit-Tco!ey. Stolen bases
j. Miller Wagner Simon. Carey. McKetchnie, n.
Miller Double plays-Tooey to DaubcTt: Mccarthy
TO Wagner: Dauhert p Tooey. Left on bass
Brooklyn. Z Pittsburg, 4. First base on tnlls-Or
Allen .: of Hendrix, L Struck oGt-By Barger. l.:
by Allen, ;: by Hendrix. 5. Wild pitch-headrix.
CmpiTCs-Messrs. KLEIN and Bush.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1912-07-13

Runs-Hamuil. Keamon, Graef Mullen e. Move
e.. Cunningham 81. Mulvey o.. Coogsn. Stanton
e. johnson, Cox. Left on baseS-Narines 10; Capi-
tai, .. First base on baIls-Of Geis, OF Cox ..
Struck out-By Gels. H. by Coz. Z. Twobase hits
Graef, Baugh Mullen Mulyey. Sacrifice hit-Nful-
len. Stolen bases-Mulen a.. Moye 81, Cunning
ham Mulyey, Coogan ~. Stanton johnson o. Hit
by pitcher-By Gels. Mullen ~ and Johnson By
Cox, Thompson. Passed ball-Thompson. Umplre-
Mr.. CollifOaer. Time Of game hours.