American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1912-11-14
POSTMASTER PLANS TO
HOLD HIS petition.
VIII Try to Outwit Democrats in q
{ Bold Scheme.-Has Secured
Democratic Aid,

The postmaster of this town has
an idea he Is a pretty wise guy. He
approached the editor of the Press
this week with a plan Of action all
mapped out, and asked that the
matter be considered strictly conf
dential But as we may be a. CAN
didate for the postoffice ourself, we
have decided to turn the lime light
onto the postmaster's scheme and
warn the public against being cap
tured into supporting him for re-
appointment. He claims to have
secured a great deal of support al
ready land only lacks the approval of
Woodrow Wilson to insure his ap-
pointment With only one man
standing between him and the job
all rivals are warned to be watch
ful. We give his talk in the strict
est confidence, and hope no one will
get us in bad by repeating it in his
hearing.
Editor. Good morning, postmast-
er. You look serenely happy this
morning. What has caused the
change? Is your mother-in-law i'll?
Postmaster. o, better than that.
I've got them beat to a frazzeI.
When the Dostofifce plane Of Arm
aggeddon is reached there is going
to be real grief. I've got a Roland
for every Oliver and a large re-
serve force. Listen! I'm going to
hold a primary election to name a
candidate, a. d you know what that
means. I've got the dope books
used by John Nugent and Ben Gray,
and what 1 don't know about pri-
mary elections they haven't even
dreamed about. I'm going to beat
their pet candidate with China Eye,
by having all the republicans vote
the democratic primary ticket. This
will give China Eye a two to one
majority. Then I'll get myself
nominated by petition and beat them
to fragile. I'll show EN- a few
Ed. But how can republicans
vote at a democratic primary?
P. M. By reason of one veto mes
sage sent to the legislature by Gov
er1lor Hawley two years ago which
killed bill aiming at honesty in
nominations. I'm not so strong an
advocate of honesty as 1 was then
because it is the other fellows OK
that will be gored But 1 must act
before the coming legislature meets,
because there won't be enough of
that law left to hang anykind of
scheme on. This is my last chance
to nominate a democratic of nv own
choosing and I'm not overlooking
any last chances at my age.
Ed. But how are you going to
get nominated by petition?
F. M. o, can get any progress
slve to do that. They believe in
letting the other fellows blow their
money for campaign expenses and
have the dark spots in their reputa-
tons viewed with microscopes. and
then come with a petition signed
by three-tenths of one per cent of
the voters, naing a spotIess creature
of super-human wisdom as it's cam
didate. I'll only need one full
signature and sixty-five hundreths
of another to get my name on the
ballot, and I'll already arranged for
them. Wilford Bennion with be
the full signature and Lee Cum
VIII supply the fraction.
Ed. But suppose the petition
comes up for review before Judge
Knapp? What then?
P. NJ. o, I'll take a change of
venue to Judge Travis court. Judge
Travis has been fixing democrats for
abotu. eighty years and knows how
to do a smooth job.
Ed. But how do you figure that
you will be elected? You seem to
have as much assurance as Jim
Fisher.
P. M. Got that all figured out
It's cinch. It's the woman vote |
Ed. On what do you base your
supposed popularity with the ladies.
On your good looks?
P. M. No, not entirely on my
good looks, but they count for a
good deal. Did you ever notice that
when you like anybody real well
that the one you like always likes
You? It's human nature expressing
itself. Well I'm a great admirer
Of the ladies, and most of them
know it, because / am rather handy
vt telling them about it. It's a
psychological cinch.