davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-04-19
q Tlfnnini

o Titanic! Titanic! you symbol OF
strength.
Against the natural forces your en-
durance had no length;
You, Inflated giant. were an atom on
the sea.
When n simple mass OF CONCEALED wa
ter bore down on thee
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-04-19

thu City Democratic Committee
nhoul,! adort the plan of a convention
to nominate the Administrative Board
outlined yesteEdny by Chairman Miles
Martin, of that committee Thc plar
is to let each precinct. by an ali-iay
primary vote 10 elect delegates TO a
convention upon the basis of cithc,
one candidate for tho convention to
each 100 voters and fraction above
fifty. or one candidate for the con-
vcntion 10 each nifty voters and frac-
ton above twenty-nve: the convention
SO constituted to nominate I'VE Dcmo-
srats to be voted for az members OF
the Administrative Board" The
Tirlcs-D:sratoh 'ndorses this suy-
Eestion es the only practical
method which can now be devised to
NEE, the ncei of very critical stu
suon IN tho governmental affairs OF
thu city.
An issue o. tremendous Importance
10 tho people OF Richmond Is at stake.
1t !s nothing less than an emergency
mat now contronts the city. The
opportunity that has been created for
the people TO seize, II rightly taken
hold o:, will mark the beginning of
mn unprecedented crn OF prosperity
ana progress for Richmond. We are
about 10 abandon the stnCccoach for
the modern railway train. but the
stage driver canno; take the place Of
the experienced engineer. II incom-
petent men arc nut at the throttle,
we shall Jump tho track or so astray
ct the frst siding Tho issue before
the people to- day is whether or not
they shall have the right to employ
competent men 70 run the city. The
primary system In the present ex-
ira ordinary situation cannot get tho
voters tho five men they want, and
some other system that can get them
the men Is what We mood now
There arc score or moro can
dldatcs IN the ncla Under single
primary the successful candidates
could be elected with 200
votes. Tint means that less than
one eighth Of tho registered voters
could elect the Administrative Board.
OF minority. The i've men elected
under primary would be unsn,is-
.' No.
o"ue'
'o"',e'
"'I Seiee' INC
'S ~ Il" way OF
upon
'''''"' - pe'"i'''F
~ ne o'o'asfE memo" VIII not
i'''"'non" : &c re" win an
',''''s'eS IN h1nniSNhl AFFAIRS When
'''''S's >'S'''d galveston few years
aso' ofoeF ana Food government were
'eSioFch IN m unusual method re-
F"'''" oF 'he GIRO necessity of the
F''hh'on' an6 SO II has been in other
hHlsf' WherH immediate action was
worcestershire 'or the interest Of the
CIT, ne oi''zenF have not hesitateA
% afTart from the cFtnhlishod oraer,
'n' TO d"v'se Some Temporary cx-
HtdieHt by witch TO protect the vel
fard Of III" mnn'c'pality So It must
Nc here None l7Eows more than The
'ifUe7h'Hnst'h tho Eiaring defects Of
the convention system when IT runs
IN 3 r"f. and is regular and perma-
nent process hui Il distinction must
&c made between conventions called
70 meet IN e'nerFenry. md permanent
routine conventions, which arc moor
n7akrshif's r"r primaries The
priinhry HHstern go regular and
permanent institution IS vastly me-
fsraHle 10 The convention system. but
u 'Nuss be recognized by nil TINT
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-04-19

me hght that lies IN woman's eyes
Is not the only one that does, for the
INDIANA ladies diamond heel. have
turned out to bo paste.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-04-19
somo truthful snyine..

a celluloid collar is vain thing for
safety.
The greatest hold-up game in this
trust
The anticipation is better than the
vacation.
NO man who ever played in q hand
has got all out OF life that there is In
It.
WhisiSey and quinine for q cold.
Pour the whlskey down a rat hole
and take the qu!nine
Every man IN the community knows
now TO run newspaper excepting the
editor.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-04-19

If the almanac could nrov,6. o.
me 'o'ai eclipse OF a few ravori,e sons.
IL would be doing good work.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

Who has TALKED most about dong away " "i noNEs
technicaties? Judges and lawyers Wha' nave ''''
Nothing that you can notice ,.ss... 1,
When the people get chance, there is ,; =,
Oregon people initiated and adopted law M
the suprene court should decision o -
made by trial court IF SUBSTANTIAL yosi -, TO-
BEEN DONE The law also provided thar, even y @ -, :,
- ~ ,everses case il is to render the judgment tha'
the lower court should have rendered Il the feeo'u e" "
will enable II TO do so Aa ,.h.,
II i ACTION not talking which counts ana . wns"
peurotcs and the mob" Gas per Taft and his n
otherwise the plain people. Get chance tney paiay
things TO abolish delays expense court proceenhs
In congress and every state legislature hese are .r
LAWYERS than any other class OF citizens II thes
xs 4, reform the courts as they say they are why nave
they not done something ,fecvep Who benefits oy 'ss ,
ecnicates b, the laws delays by expenses SO heaV
only rich lgan,s can pay hema Public utility eorpoau
and other forms OF big business And most oi inc
IN legislative bodies there big business 20 YOU
see why lawyers talk reform but do not give " anu
plain people suffer. -. III, - -
Oregon there will be reform in legal procedure ana
ustire viii be speedy less expensive when the pam pe
ole instead Of lawyers make laws aud can recall
bad judges.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
Takes Rap at
Winner

The following letter comes from
three Sllyerdaie Circle members
- letter Ia the result of prize.
winning manuscript OF Rita Meyer
on the City ". Country. which was
published last Saturday.
Dear Uncle Jnck--We would like
10 say few words 10 the prize win.
ner of last week on what she said
about country schools. She said
that country children have no edu'
catlonAl training, which every city
child has. but we fail 10 see II tina,
way. We may not have such fine
Blk school buildings, but we need
not be ashamed OF our school house.
which II modern and upto-date In
every respect. and, best OF all. we
have just as good teachers an can
be found In any city. When nj DIFF
ferent times pupils from our school
moved 10 tho city they proved,
time and Tins again. that they can
and DO noId their own.
or course the city may offer more
In some ways. but the country chill
drea have some advantages which
city children have not.
We hereby extend cordial invita-
tion 70 Prize Winner TO visit our
school and see for herself II we have
any advantages.
COUNTRY CLUB MEMBERS.
ALBERTA KuNz.
VIOLET JOHNSON.
AMY HAGENER.
sllyordale. Wash.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

OUR RECENT PRIMARY con
test was surely talkfest. Some
became 80 heated that when they
were not magnifying out Of all pro-
portion the
OFFICE OF MAYOR or council
man, they were sharpshooting each
candidate, good or bad AZ they were,
PEOPLE LOVE POLITICS. 1t
coIors their lives. Amy person in the
public eye. or the public mind. must
expect to be both coddled and lam
pooned. It's part OF TIE game.
ALL THIS TEACHES something.
II Seattle il o have city govern
ment OF. for and by the people, the
people will have to know more about
the
lfENT and the limitations. methods
and uses OF each department than
All the talks heard, or heard from,
would indicate that they knew.
THEREFORE, RECOMMEND
that we have Workers School Of
Municipal Government. Chicago
has one and It Is doing good work.
LIS OBJECT IS NOT to train ex-
perts for technical positions; to
mako them municipal engineers. ac-
countants. etc. but TO
1slAIN WORKING PEOPLE for
intelligent citizenship. The results
val be that successful candidates
will come from our ranks and the
standard Of efficiency will be
raised.
If you ARE INTERESTED in
kDuch movement write John c. Ken
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

QUIZ TALKING AND G ct DOWN TO BUSINESS.
az REV. JOSEPH L. GARviN, 3. o., N. a.
Pastor of the First Christian Church, Seattle

needy at University OF Chicago Set
Element. His reply will encourage
you.
BELIEVE IN the people. They
have the votes and should know
why, how. when or for what.
NOTHING LIKE KNOWLEDGE,
AID publicity to cure the ills and
drive out evils. | blame a partisan
voter more than do an undesirable
candidate.
OFFICE SEEKERS and office
users we will always have. but
ERE Is no excuse for an ignorant
public.
ELECTIONS WILL CONTINUE.
talk and debate to volley and thun-
der and rattle, yet an informed
people Will vote wisely.
LET US FIGHT the good fight of
faith In our city. hope In it's future
aha for efficiency in its servants.
TRAVELLING eastward through
Montana q am writing this on the
train. We have just passed Gus
lter's battlefield. There on a hill
by the Little Big Horn, his mon.
ument stands as an omen OF prog.
Il ess.
BENEATH THE BATTLEFIELD
! saw Indians, whose parents killed
Custer. working on the railroad. II
is progress.
DOUBTLESS SOME yet will
meet with Clusters fate In the
pioneering Of municipal reform.
NO DEATH TASTES quite &c
sweet az that sacriflc&l offering OF
life and means for the cause OF
humanity and the pubIlc's welfare.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
THE CITY PLAN
10 the Rcaders Of the aeattie atar:

TO tnt HtHdefs OF me Seattle sthF.
LEAGUE Of Seattle has granted the privilege Of placing before the
public public
city plan submitted the election March s The fol-
will
der the authority OF the Municipal league:
oTATEMENT OFFICIAL COLLABORATION or A CITY
BUSINESS
What Seattle needs Is bancsa especially needs the business
dus that employ Cities are IN competition with each other
This
facilities add TO the
the OF living
traffic facilities will
take business and manufactures away from competing cities and will
we o March 9Th
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

lond enough 20 be distinctly heard
HE In the only individual who loves
some people. but the goldfish. Tea
ha can even safely trust human m
ture. Oh. be In accomplished. soo
is Nobody" lie can catch old
hirda with chaff and make pufxs
u now's ear. mot that he need
purse. because he can get aiong
without money! Ito eau decide
vhon doctors Disagree. hr cotnpfw
bends eternity. aud ~ immortal
And wc almost forgot be.
l.svex Taft will be- reelected
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
"NonopY"

NOBODY"
When You are Ia trouble, who
comes along Just at tho riEht time
Nobody"
llo's peculiar and funny cuaf
this Nobody" His hat if the kind
that Nobody" would wear and bis
coat one that Nobody" could have
any use for. and his cane IL just the
kind that Nobody" would choose
And strip him OF bis clothes. there
IN Nobody" there.
We receive perfect flood OF In
auirics about Nobody" from Con
slant Reader and yirtas and Pr
Bono Public. but they are aueation
that Nobody could fully answer
The bcs, We can do Ia make a Il,
at n.
q. Who Is he,
A. Nobody In particular.
q. Whore does he livey
A. Nowhere.
q. What does be eatY
A. Nothing.
O. Has he any brains-
A. That's something ho keeps
under his hat.
q. In he dissatisfied,
A. On the contrafy. Nobody" /,
satisfied.
To 30 ahead and tell you every
tfing We know about him will moi
take long. We IL mysterious mem
Der OF society and somewhat Of 3
nuisance. II il he who stole the
lam. who struck fsilly Patterson
who has seen Kelly. nud who under
stands what the " waves arr
sHying.
Ito In also good deal OF a maj,
Tyr. for u Is he who w generally
hanged for the many atroclons mur
dera that are committed. Well W
can't be very sorry for him, since
the evidence always puts The blnma
strongly upon him. Stll he has sgr
tues Hie and George Washington
always told the truth. He nave,
made a mistake. does hts duty al
ways, pays his taxes willingly and
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

IL always helpful. To throw n little
more light on tho latter statement,
what you leave for Every body T.
d.. Nobody" doen.
Some eccentric qualities he alae
has, lilo believes DIR. Cook really
discovered the North Pole. lie II
the only person who will admit that
Opportunity Knocked at hIs door
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
NT4fSSSSS 'TZzz<<<<<
20paMc;,,
IASSSSSa7
an Ehtu scHAEFEB

Just becoss a man college senior
wears mortarboard cap iss no sign
he will make good hod carrier.
As Shakespeare says. der worlt
ISIS but stage ind pride cometh
before der stale egg.
Incongruity iss ven a man NIT
CRAZY spots on hiss vest years a
buttonhole bouquet.
People who dance und don'd pay
der piper let him vistle for hiss
money.
A lie made oudt OF whole cloth
chenerally bass some remnants.
vot?
Id Is polite store vich will send
ids bills TO you on abbroval.
Dance Mt Drcamland tonight. <ss
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
Oar Own Fault, Too

$4S00000
That's what ]. J. Hill paid for the iron ore
SS00OO0n00
That's what J. J. Hill 'woudnt take today for the same
iron ora matter OF 100 10 | and then some
And the difference between S45O0O00 and SsOOooooO
measures the stupidity OF the people IN giving away their
cents when hours OF labor, starvation wages
and horrible conditions OF living entaled by the necessity OF
earning dividends the enhanced valuation there no suc
thing as measuring 1t. in sweat and tears
Let repeat all together:
when lone prcys 100 sheep it is not due to the
wolishness OF wolf but the sheepness OF the sheep
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

Keeps Her Suspicious.
"hrs. closepenny has lots Of
trouble with her laundry"
lis that right r
Yes. II the bills are small she
thinks they're keeping her clothes.
and n they're big she thinks she's
oyercharged."
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

What. In your estimation. Ia the
greatest invention today That's
next weeks contest. Uncle Jack
already anticipates that no two let
tcrs will be alike. because there are
so many great invcntions. Just
think over today's great things aud
then pick out what you think is the
greatest. add good reason for this
belief. aud you've taken a big step
toward coping one OF the two
prizes to be offered. Contributions
must be received at The Star OF.
flee not later than Friday evening.
and must be written Ia ink on one
side OF the paper. The word limit
" $50. Two prizes viii be awarded.
the first OF 800 and the second SO
cents.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

Dear Uncle Jack--We have been
taking The star for five months
and ! am very interested in your
Circle.
live on a large farm about four
miles from town. My father owns
4so acres. Papa has lo,s OF sheep
and horses like horses very
much.
am II years old and Ia the
Seventh grade There are IL pupils
10 our school.
MABEL w. TUCKER.
Friday Iiarbor. wash.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

4 Waiter. this Is an /
= absnrdly small steak you've I
= given me. !
= Waiter-Yes. sir. but ifil ,
= take a wonderful long time 10 I
4 eat, sir.--Eserybodys Maya !
4 zine.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
Expenslve Instruetlon.

Experience. said the ready
made philosopher. lis the best
teacher"
Yes. said the man who has had
troubles with Wall street. but
you're no liable to go broke paying
the first installment on tuition.''--
Washington Star.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
Inducements.

Mrs. willis--Therc seems to be n
big crowd over ut Mrs. Wayups
wedding. Strange. tool She has
been married nine times already.
Mrs. Gillis--That's II, This Ia
going to be grand souvenir per-
Torrance. Puck
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
A Poor Remedy.

Il notice a man who had n cold In
his head has committed suicide"
Poor fellow, Now what fool
friend could have advised him 10 try
that remedy"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

fsoundor---i took you home the
other night.
Roundcr-Yes. and then. you COW
ard. you left me TO face my wife
alone.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
o. 9@lSe& a e.
LIFE CONE, BUT SEVEN ~
TO LIVE MIX
vEas1s AND DRAWINGS ~ sasoEalck xu,-.

WHITE
z.
'ald he: ia hate 10 ~
~, 4 foolish. hslpiess bsa., ! ''F'
VINO has 10 come when NJ =
And II he don't he's .,'.' - !. ol4
Or scoIaed ven m !, s' 2. |. lssI
While as for cats IA -
pride, '''e slI1
,,,,. THY DO Just what shev d..
when they are called unls.pp !.
choose. ~
They firmly ana with -
To SIT on peoples kness.ss '''
Just then a dog ran IA IL. -.
And grabbed tina, kitien =.
Before he quite lost eli IL -.
He cried. TIA. ha. Whs,s
more death.
I've seven left, you ~.
Read the Circle ~, go.
for Kitty kss's nsse 1s ~.
Assrophc.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

Il have a terrible coid.- he com
planned My head feels ali stopped
up"
iave you tried vacuum clean
err she qucried swcctly. Judge
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
DIDN'T HAVE TO RE

subufbanitei
tuiase Mikman twtheringiyl-Nc' Kin
mister In TACT III hand nvodoiar
my cows wax ever bit By a mad dox-ruck
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

4 Now" said the teacher.
= who had been describing the
4 habits of bears. what 10 the
4 fierccst animal In the polar
~ region. Johnny"
4 why cr err" stammcrcd
= Johnny.
4 Come. don't you remember
= 40 pol
= "oh. surel The pole cat,"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

An Ar,lss.

Sue--fou said you were going to
marry mn artist. and now you're en-
Kaeed 20 dentist
f1o--wciI. lsnt no an artist He
draws from real life.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
1T CERTAINLY DID

caused the - - - - -
'' 's'''' !" 'A'h'' -e"eas0
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
Observations

BY Of block Improvement circles associations the
Of Baltimore planning make the city san
tary and beautiful.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
FUTURE POSSIBILITY

= shall posery sighed Tho pos, ~ .
Nonsense the twill
all right Atlanta Constitution - = - $3.50
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
CROWNS

MI Wibbes-What fine haveM Kuox My
VINO "a younger than has her quite viii
knox-fes. wife
nave been gray. ioo--Boagon
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
IAlnKa SLAB aE6T.

Dear Uncle jack would like "a
Join your Star Circle Club and be
one Of your members. I have been
reading The star for . long time
think The Star IL the best paper
IN Seattle.
HARRY FISHERMAN.
2s07 W. Dakota ~.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

How high did de ole mnls kick
himy"
Go long. man, You think he had
time ter measure de distance -
Atlanta Constitution.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

II Columbia doesn't stop insulting Philan Knox. 81
get her wrist slapped real hard
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

Roosevelt and Johnsoni Well If Uncle Sam has to
he'd better order reinforced dash
board.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

Caby Deslys says that made love to her
while America. right fine tribute the Aner
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

i.
Next day the merry little cat
The very seifsame one
Who only lately had been drowned
by failing In q weIi--wag found
A.biinEing In the sun.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

Guess President Madero isn't very in his jol
he has to yell for suppression Of free press
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

II married my Ilrst husband for
money and my second for love"
Then you are very happy now.
a,.s...nanss -
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

et1is.
Miss Sweet--These vVGI
are stale.
Waiter-You are vr0uG -
have served you only va -
cses Of the season.
Miss Sweet---Yes. but uhaf -
son,
Eruivoeal.
DO you still bet on the rnnu
you used to-"
no. | am now 4 better -
.-altimore American
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
Nothing SERIOUSkh
1i0Sf
AWhiIzg


JoBH WISE
SAYS;
"Cood luck has
a last fell to
= Q n c . poxer,
who lost both
logs under a
train. A reier.
tive died IN
left him a mo-
forcycIc."
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
BALANCING A CIGAR


The following are boys and girls
who are successful applicants for
admittance to the Circle Club.
They have written the Circle dur
ing the past week:
Harry osterman. 25o7 w. Dakota
St.
Harry Janeway, Edmonds.
Geneva Miller, fa39 w. 53rd St.
Bessie Terrell, Startup.
Esther Pittclkan, All Whitman
Ave.
Ida Ewes, Pouisbo.
Lena Lanterman, Anacortes.
HONOR ROLL.
Geneva Miller
ilene Smith
Blanche Smith
Jesse Evans
Lucille Warren
Ben kantx
Karl BIornson
NeIs Larsen
Cecil McGunnipIe
Eta Lang
Ernest Ehrke
Leila Hego
Pia Suscth
Ida Ewes
leona Lanterman
Norlane Dunn
Irene Hayden
Alice Myberp
Howard Lowe
Oscar johnson
Marguerite euonon
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
MOTHER NEW ONE.

MOTHER NEW ONE.
Dear Uncle jack wish very
much 10 join your Circle. ! think
that Il Is q fine thing for boys and
giris. am IL years old and am In
the Sixth grade.
HAROLD JANEWAY.
Edmonds. Wash.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

No. Alas. no. You see. my first
husband married mo for love and
my second for money"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
Here's the Prize DRAWING

These prizes by last veets ~
for the best drawings OF George Washington ms
dollar and the second 50 N -
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

Dear Uncle jack guess you
viii be surprised 10 hear from me.
as u IL quite while since have
written you. read the Star Circle
every Saturday. ! wish you would
make an amendment 10 your char.
ter and aiiow all boys and girls
under IA 10 compete in the con
tca,s. ] used TO but ann now Is and
atm not eligible. although | wish
were. Hoping you will change
the age limit. I am.
Yours truly.
ELLEN LENEHAN.
1878 FIlth Ave.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24

Dance At DresmIand tonight. =.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-02-24
Fierce. All Hsoh,,

'stttAtt&s<t+t
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-07-06
WAITER TRICKED THOUGH
HE SURELY KNEW IT ALL

Here's the way to get ahead of the
cafe walters that know it all. The recipe
was handed to use by a restaurant
haunter. says the Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
He seats himself and says: waiter.
have you any nice Gorgonzola cheese7'
"Yes, sir" save the waiter. "Our Coz
g~onzola is very fine
us 1t fresh?"
Just made, SIR"
els it nice and winter"
believe me, it is as white as snow
sir"
Good. And is it hard in the middle?'
Like a rock, sir"
Thanks, George!' lis your name
George? Well, thanks, anyhow. Let me
tell you something: Gorgonzola cheese
should never be fresh. 1t should never
be white. but green. 1t should never be
hard in the middle, but mushy. If you
are not a liar, you have no good Gorgon-
zola; you are a liar, George. In either
case-weI, bring us two Swiss sand
wiches with mustard.
The waiter, then loses a whole nights
sleep studying.