The daily star-mirror. (Moscow, Idaho) 1911-1939, 1912-04-25
Knockers Consider Press.

a specially called meeting of the Mos
! COW Knockers Club.
The meeting was called to order b
; the Chief Knocker who used as hi
gavel a 10-lb. sledge hammer fror
Sears C Roebuck He stated the oh
II ject of the meeting in his usual tiers
It manner" 1--WE are here to discuss tn
: venality of the press" he declared
1.-THE trouble with this country is tina
it is going to the dogs. There is to-
disaster. Inhuman greed caused MAJ
to sail across the ocean, and look a
the horrible disaster which resulted
That couldn't have happened in any
country but one like this where the
press is subservient to the interests
Who ever heard of wreck like tha
before the Hood? I pause for answer.
1.-The trouble with them newspap-
ers," said Knocker No. 2, the vice
president and parliamentarian, sis
that they are too darn smart. They
want to know too much. They want
to tell folks everything we do. They
are owned by the trusts. If you don't
believe that, can prove it. The Star
Mirror is getting out a telephone di-
rectory for the telephone company Is
there any more proof needed?
I'VE don't need a daily paper any
how. l get all the news l want with
out taking daily paper. l can Dor
row my neighbours. Of course it tax IS
me about an hour day to rea my
neighbours paper, but then l haven't
anything else to do. l might as well do
that"
Il won't even borrow my neighbJr's
paper if it is printed in this town.
| chimed in Knocker No. 10. eff you
read the paper in other towns you
don't have to read about any progress
your town is making Besides, the
daily paper in this town is just like the
new school house; it wants new
court house; it wants paving. 1t took
some apples to the Spokane apple show
and won the worlds championship,
| and now the prices of our land has
gone up and we'll have to pay more
taxes"
A deep shudder ran through the as
sembled knockers. Knocker No. 5
tainted. 1t was ten minutes before any
could speak Then Knocker No. 2, vice
president and parliamentarian voiced
a protest
'If the chair please" he hoarsely
whispered "Knocker No. 10 is out
of order. That word must never be
uttered in these precincts again.
Knocker No. 5 has a bad heart, and
there is nothing surer than death but
TIT"
A great moan, like the keening of
sembled knockers and drowned the |
word.
There is only one way to reach the
venal press" declared Knocker No. 4,
who is a student of sociology, land
that's through it's stomach. have been
a deep student of social movements
for many years, and l find by it's re-
Elected spirit that the press can never
attain to our high ideals of existence
Consequently we must hit it through
our support. 1 will stop my paper.
That will be SOC it don't get'
Before the chairman could state the
motion Knocker No. 2 vice president
and parliamentarian, rose to protest
Our esteemed brother Knocker No
has neglected to state what our high
ideal is" he declared For the bcne-
fit of some of our newer members
think this should be done"
Certainly" responded Knocker No.
1, "but first l want to withdraw that
notion. l guest I won't stop my paper
Come to think of it l owe the paper (,
something, and they would make me t
Day up. l want to hold onto my money
Is long as I can"
Quite correct" assented Knocker /
70. 6, who had seconded the motion
And from all over the room rose the .
chorus: quite correct"
And now, continued Knocker No
!, for the benefit of any of the broth
rs with us tonight 1 will explain
he high ideals to which our organiza-
ion aspires. In it's simplest terms
is to do everything the Moscow
'hamber of Commerce won't do, and
0 oppose anything the Chamber of
commerce works for In short, gent
amen and brother knockers, we seek
D reach that ideal of existence ex-
ressed in that marvel of geological
fe-the only animal that makes pro-
ress in the true fashion, that is, back
ards"
There were cries of Hear, hear" -
nd when the Chief Knocker with his
ears Roebuck gavel had at last re-
tored quiet Knocker No. con-
nued. And l think, brother knock
rs, that this club should adopt as it's
ffcial insignia, that animal, the crab"
The motion passed unanimously,