The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1912-05-26
TheEngagement
BY MARY CHAMPION.

should the sons and daughters
of the family be left free TO mako
friends with members Of the oppo-
site sex. and when the attraction
proves strong enough, become en-
gagged and marry without opposi-
tlon from those older and presuma-
blv wiser, who may be trusted TO
have theiZ children IS best interests
at heart7
Putting ineIperience, and youth
ful hotheadedness, and the transi-
torv nature of SOME boy and girl
attachments into the scales. agains
parental affection, and wisdo-l and
worldly experience. il would surely
seem that the latter must weigh
more heavily and deserve more al
tention for everyone concerned in
the matter.
All. but another question arises
naturally from the frst-what are
the children g best interests, and do
parents and friends really know
themi Nature has its laws, which
the young follow instinctively, and
when mere man-made laws and or
dinances oppose them, there is war
to the knife. To fight against a
strong natural feeling Is danger
Gus: the risk In failure is great,
but the risk in success seems to me
incalculable.
To succeed in destroying the
whole happiness Of a loved ones
hfe, as in blindness We may do
! should not like TO be responsible
for that.
Of course there are cases where
parental interference and opposi-
tlon are imperative. We need not
discuss them where no discussion
Is ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Of the kind
will probably occur to everyone.
But short of such cases as these,
suppose there is very seldom a
marriage made, whether in heaven
or elsewhere. without much discus
sion and heartburning on the part
of the family, and friends, and re-
lations.
The young couple chiefly con-
cerned do not hear at all. perhaps
fortunate if they do not-but it
exists none the less.
Elsie was expected to marry
man with money-her father is
disappointed.
ideas "he' is not handsome
enough.
.'He'' is not interested in base
ball. cher" brothers. favorite
s,.o sport; therefore Chez is ''rum-
"Her" uncle says "he" has not
two ideas in his head, and can Z
converse intelligently, while "her"
aunt declares "heo has no man
ners. and smokes too much.
ne
that no one In the world Is good
enough for Elsie, but that is the
way with mothers, and any other
man would incur the same crlti-
cism-
She holds her peace wisely and
kindly. not being desirous Of hurt
ing her daughter, and caring for
nothing but her welfare, but the
cheerful chorus Of condemnation
from others goes on.
There is tfhis" family and cir
Gle of friends, who must all have
their say, and are at least as hard
upon Elsie.
The girl is frivolous mink,
snorts Chi" /" father, and VIII lead
the boy. dogs life.
"His" brother is rather inclined
to snub her, and resents the fact
that "Bob" wants to marry at all,
knowing that In consequence he
will give up baseball and disor-
panize their team, of which both
are SO proud.
"His" sisters do not approve of
her taste IN dress, and they
haven t a thought in common" ="
"Bob 's' mother complains that
the girl Of his choice will prove an
incapable housewife, drag on his
career. and an uninteresting COM
panion when the bloom Of youth
is worn off.
Meantime, under all this storm
Of adverse comment and criticism
Bob and Elsie pursue their unruf-
fed way, perfectly satisfied with
each other. Of course the olamor
reaches their ears, and Of course
it hurts them little, though IN
their happiness they can afford to
disregard it.
Since the only effect of opposi-
tion on average human beings is to
make them more determined In
their dangerous courses, they gaily
fight their wav through, and start
on their married life with neither
JHUIS uOI ltEc Ludn LuS 6FOIdGb
chances against them.
Opposition must be taken philoso-
phicallv. in marriage as much rs in
anv other career.
We must not wish to gain our
ends too easily-everything worth
having Is worth fighting for-and
more than fighting, Is worth living
and dying for. Do not let US
waste our compassion, then, upon
those who must suffer little hard
ship in order to gain what seems
to them the best earthly 10y.
In the hearts Of each one OF us
is planted IN innate knowledge OF
right. and IL conventional. worldly
teachings have not stifled the voice
OF nature. II Will not fan Us In the
great hour for which we were
made,
In trusting to natural feelings,
reasons. and instinct In the choice
of our life's mate. IL seems to me
that anv man or woman Of average
intelligence is less likely to err
than in following the well-meanfng
but blindfold counsels OF friends.
Noninterference-it is hard, but
worth while. Noninterference In
small matters Is a courtesy that
oulv the blatsntly egotistical neg
lect-but noninterference in the VI
tai things Of life is duty that all
human beings, whether related OF