New-York tribune., 1912-11-20
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The late Homer Lea, who did SO much
TO organize the army OF the Chinese Re-
public, was a man who saw little actual
service In spite OF his title OF general"
lie was fond of relating the story Of his
first military command. by which he re-
ceiyed this prefix. He was then young
man whose only claim to military dis
tinction was book knowledge OF the
theory OF warfare. II was said OF him
that he knew every detail OF all Nspo-
Icons battles. Upon his arrival In China
ne went 10 the Taotai Of Canton and asked
that he be made general OF all the troops
in the province. Lea's youth and his hg-
ure-for he was hunchback-did not
combine to make much Of an impression
upon the astute old Chinese official.
How old are you?" he asked. The came
age as Napoleon when he won tho battle
OF Austerlitz," answered Lea. He got the
Job
"snaggs is a most eccentric chap
"Yes?'
Sure! He has named his place Pine
Terrace"
well. what OF it7'
''Why, he has pine trees and terrace.
Judges Library.
It wasn't respectful to "Btl' EDWARDS
TO say the least. This was what nap
pened: One of the Commissioners dust
disseminators was backed right up against
a big touring car stationary on the north
side Of Maiden Lane, near Nassau street.
iEdustrlously pushing his broom. lie wore
his clean Monday morning suit-pura alpa'
The street was crowded with luncheoh-
gocrs Suddenly a terrific explosion oc-
Cured and the automobile, white wings,
broom and pushcart were enveloped in
cloud OF dense black vapor. Persons from
all sides ran toward the car, expecting to
see IL burst into flames. Instead they saw
the street cleaner srope out OF the murk
with his fingers In his ears. near-traB-
edy began to metamorphose into laugh
when transfixed spectators saw two young
men standing by the forward seat holding
on to their sides to restrain their merri-
ment They had charge OF the car, ana
seeing the street sweep In such tempt
ing proximity to the end OF the exhaust
pipe they contrived, successfully, to
effect an outside spark" which exploded
the gasolene vapor outside the cylinders
A generous quantity OF lubricating oil IN
the cylinder and the absence OF the cut
out contributed to furnish spectral re-
suits that couldn't have been surpassed
IL the iokesters had set off stick or
dynamite under a lamp black factory
Everybody laughed except Mr.. Edwardss
faithful servant
"Johnnie," asked his teacher. "can you
give us a sentence using the word IN
Johnnie hestated moment, then
yves 'uTn." he replied. :" The boy opened
the door and in come a cat. '-Woman's
Home Companion.
Writing from Innsbruck. Austria, an
American says that in q row between
German" and Clerical" students, mem
hers of the Gheeze and Rhatobavaria
corps, over trivial matter, one Of the
young men was struck on the head with
a heavy cane. and, though bleeding en-
deavored to walk TO his home. After
short time. however, he fell to the pave
ment where he was found by police
officer. who placed him under arrest for
beirg drunk. He was locked up, and
when his friends appeared the next morn
ing and he was lifted from the cell floor
II was found that his skull had been
fractured and he died within few
hours" This incident was referred to In
the papers under the headline, "As in
America"
"How is II that you never coax Miss
Green to sing any more?
well. you see, one night we coaXed ana
teased and begged and pleaded with her
to favor us with sorg. and after that
we decided never to do II again
"No, she gave in"-Detroit Free Press. |
There's the cheapest highball l ever
saw" yemarked man to his companion