davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
FACE A SIGHT WITH letter

Moberly, Mo.-"My trouble began
with a small pimple on the left side of
my face and it spread all over my
face and to my neck. 1t would be scar
let red when I got warm. My face
was a sight. 1t looked very ~unpleas-
ant, and 1t felt uncomfortable. My
face was something awful; it just kept
me in agony all the time. Some said
it was letter, and some said 1t was
that awful eczema, but / rather think
it was letter. / had been troubled
with it for about two years and tried
many remedies, but got no relief until
l used Cuticura Soap and Ointment.
when I would wash my face with
the Cuticura Soap and apply the Cuti-
ours Ointment 1t would cool my skin
and draw great big drops Of matter
out Of the skin. You would think I
was sweating; 1t would run down my
face Just as though I had washed it.
It itched and smarted and / suffered
In the day time most. / used the Cuti.
cura Soap and Cuticura Ointment for
a month and I was cured Of It," (Sign.
ed) Mrs. J. Brooksher, April Is, 1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address
postcard "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Mike Amazed.

Jerry vas treating Mike to a troll
ley ride, says Judge. The conductor,
a good-looking young Irishman, came
through, collecting the fares. Mike
watched his progress with great inter-
est. Presently he turned to Jerry
with tears in his eyes.
Jerry" he said huskily, I've a
lump in me t'roat."
What for?" demanded Jerry.
""Tis the gladness of me that's too
big to swally!" said Mike. Every
American has the big, generous heart!
Dye mind the poor young felly wi
the blue cap? TITS begin his Twin
he is. l saw him hould out his hand
to t~wenty-siven people and livery
blessed wan of thin gave him a
nickel"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Telling the Truth.

On little Arthur's birthday, he re-
ceived a present Of a very large furry
toy monkey.
Two days later his father found 1t
lying in a orner with both eyes miss
ing.
my boy" asked father, more in sor-
row than in anger, why have you
spoiled that beautiful monkey by pull
ing its ayes out?"
Didn't" replied Arthur briefly.
Don't tell any untruths," snorted
father, more In anger than in sorrow,
"or I'll punish you! Why did you
pull the monkeys eyes out?"
Didn't" repeated little Arthur def
antly. Then he hurried on, as father
took off his slipper. Il pushed them
in!"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
TWO TERRIBLE CASES
OF RINGW0RM CURED
BY RssInoL. itching and p~IshgurInoL

BY ResinoI. Itching and DIshgurInp
Chicago, ILL.,, June s, 1912: my little
daughter had a running sore, which I
vas told was a wet ringWorm, on the
back of her head from ear to ear, and
also n which spread from one hip to
the other. extending from the waist down.
They ftched her continually. She had to
be carried on a pillow, and nights she
could not sleep on account of the sores.
She suffered terribly, and would scratch
continually. I bought Resinol Soap and
Resinol Ointment, and after about two
weeks my child was well and hearty
(Signed) Mrs. Emely Skelnik, 1853 Gresh-
am Ave.
Nossville. Pa. May II, 1912: SIT is tho
greatest pleasure for me to testify to tho
merits of Resinol Soap and ResinoI Oint-
ment In the treatment of ringworms,
from which / suffered for about five
weeks until / found a perfect cure in
Resinol.
'The trouble began with severe itching,
Affecting my face and neck. Then burn
ing set in, causing me to lose a lot OF
sleep. In all, there were a dozen fairly
large Sores. with many small ones. The
sores were very unsightly. / tried several
remedies without much relief until q
Soap and Ointment. 1t made short work
of the ringworm." (Signed) E. S. Gill;
land.
Your druggist sells Resinol Soap. 25c,
Ointment, 50c. For generous samples
write to Dept. 9 K, Resinol Chem. Co..
Baltimore, Md,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Works In the Garden Now.

Grown old in the service Of his
master and mistress, James was a
privileged retainer.
He was waiting at table one day.
when a guest politely asked for a fish
fork. Strangely enough, the request
was ignored.
Then the hostess noticed the cpl
sode and remarked in a most peremp-
tory manner:
James, Mrs. Jones hasn't a fish
fork. Get her n at once!"
Madam" came the emphatic reply,
last time Mrs. Jones dined here we
lost a fish fork"
James has now been relegated to
the garden.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
HAD THE BANDMAsTER GOING
Governor Suffered Because His Re-
quest Was Not couehed In Plain
Enough language.

Mr.. Melvil Dewey. state librarian
Of New York, said recently that libra
ries would do well to furnish free mu-
sic rolls for p~layer-pianos, just as
they now furnish books.
I'm Toledo" said DR.. Dewey the
other day. my project has been late
ly i~naugurated. 1t will accomplish
much for the musical art"
Then. apropos of music and igno-
rance, DR.. Dewey told a story.
"a certain governor" he said, was
being lunched at a seaside town. Dur
ing the repast the local band played
on the beach outside the hotel. The
drum was in charge of, a blacksmith,
and be heat 1t SO resonantly that at
last this message was sent out:
""The governor requests the drum
mer to desist.'
"The bandmaster was puzzled by
this message for a moment; then his
face frightened in a smile, and he
said:
"'More drum, Joe; the governor
likes it,"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
The Proaressiva Dixon.

Senator Joseph M. Dixon is the spe-
cial messenger boy Of Theodore
Roosevelt. Senator Dixon is the
manager, Of the Bull Moose campaign.
Senator Dixon is a shining light Of
the Roosevelt type Of progressives.
He voted with Senator Aldrich on
tariff matters 126 times. Mr.. Roose-
welt was a ~free-trader In 1884. II
he has changed his mind since, he
ought to say SO. and to give the rea-
sons for his conversion, instead OF
leaving 1t to be guessed In this round.
about fashion.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
BEYOND LIMIT OF PATIENCE
Uses Of the Telephone Will Be Apt
to condone Mr.. Busiman's Brief
Loss Of Temper.

He was just about exasperated with
the telephone, was Mr.. Busiman.
Ten times that morning he had
tried to get on to a number, and each
time something had prevented him
from speaking. Either it was mum
Der engaged" or the person he want
ed to speak to was out, or else he
had been suddenly cut off. At last
he got through.
"Hallo!" said he. rs Mr.. X. there?"
Eyes," replied a voice. do you
want to speak to him?'
That was the last straw. Back
came the reply in icy tones:
ooh, no! Nothing of the sort. l
merely rung up to hand him a cigar!"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Sound Doctrine.

Up at the top OF the Democratic
platform are the words: THE high
Republican tariff is the principal cause
Of the unequal distribution Of wealth
That is sound doctrine. OF all the
measures proposed or contemplated
to improve the condition OF the
masses of the people. none has in 1t
so much promise Of practical benefit,
OF correction Of existing evils, in
equities and distresses, and discour-
agement Of wild and novel proposals.
as the reform Of the tariff by down-
ward revision.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Our Eeathered Friends.

Rose Pastor Phelps-Stokes, during
a recent visit to Philadelphia, told at
a charity society a co~untry-week story.
Under ar old apple tree" she said,
II gathered a half-dozen little country
weekers about me one August after
noon, and, holding up a book, / said:
Now. children, I'm going to read
to you. This is the book. 1t is called
Our Feathered Friends" Who are
our feathered friends, does any n
know"
1.-THE urchins on the grass regarded
n another d%oubtfully; then a little
chap piped in a shrill key:
"tAngels?'"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Awful.

A West End woman called the atten-
ton of her husband to a little baby
which was trying to sleep on the porch
of its home on the opposite side Of
the street.
TITS lying OF the bare boards, isn't
it," he observed.
Eyes, they haven't even placed a
rug for the little chap to rest his head
on"
The husband took another look.
"And what do you think of that?"
he calculated. "They haven't even
painted the boards Youngstown
CO., Telegram.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Sounds Better.

The feeling Of many men with re-
regards to public office is much the
same as that which a certain dis.
tinguished Frenchman had toward the
academy-that group of forty who are
called "the immortals." He was asked
one day why he did not propose his
candidacy for the academy.
"Ah," said he. If l applied and were
admitted, some one might ask, Why
is he in it?' and / should much rather
hear 1t asked, why isn't he in it?'"-
Christian Register.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
TRUST GRIP TIGHTENs
MEAT BARoNs REACHING OUT
FOR OTHER FIELDS.
Plan Is to Exploit Argentina and Aus.
tralla-DlssoIutlon of Trust viii
Not Bring Relief to
Consumer.

It Is announced that the "beef trust
Is no more" Attorneys for the Nation
al Packing company have notified the
government that its constituent com
panies have taken over their proper
ties. The Swift interests get the
G. H. Hammond company, the Omaha
Packing company plant at Chicago;
the st. Louis Dressed Beef and Provi-
sion company and the United Dressed
Beef company of New York. J. Og-
den Armour takes yer the Fowler
Packing company, the Anglo-American
Provision company, and the New York
Butchers Dressed Beef and Provision
company. Morris G Co. get the Omaha
Packing company's plant at South
Omaha.
While it is an excellent practice to
be optimistic it may be we'll to with
hold approval of the dissolution. The
beef trust escaped punishment only
recently, SO why capitulate now? Rep
resentative Kinkead, a New Jersey
Democrat, is not much of an optimist.
In a speech in the house delivered be-
fore the announced dissolution Mr..
Kinkead urged the removal of the
tariff on meats, as he believed that
he proposed dissolution would not re-
iieve the consumer. He said:
THE packers exported last
year more than a hundred million dol
lars worth of meat, but there was
no competition from without. If
we defeat the beef trust and reduce
the cost Of meat, which has been felt
by every man, woman and child In this
country, let US remove the tax from
all meat. Let imports come in from
Canada, Australia, Argentina, Mexico
or from any other country, and there
will be hope for relief from the exor-
bitant prices now exacted.
More than two years ago there
was agitation for the Importation Of
meat from Argentina. Then, as now,
he American packers said that home
production was falling of. In part,
they we're right. But later it became
known that the speakers were con-
structing plants In the southern repub-
lie, thus attempting to forestall any
move to relieve the situation In the
United States by importing meats
from Argentina About the time the
government lost its case against the
beef trust at Chicago, attention was
called to Australia. Americans were
reminded that Australian meats are
regularly shipped to England. SO why
not to the United States.
Now comes the following cable from
London, which speaks for itself:
"A dispatch to the Chronicle from
Melbourne says that Australian meat
exporters are alarmed at the news that
the Swifts are setting up big meat
packing works at Brisbane, and ask
the government to interfere to pro
tect trade against the American trust
methods"
The reader car not help but won
der whether the situation thus present
cd would have confronted the Ameri-
can householder today II the Sherman
antitrust law had been enforced from
the beginning. The trust would then
not have grown SO strong as to reach
out and threaten even the possibility
OF foreign competition.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Was Rioht.

Mrs. Mason's colored washerwoman,
Martha was complaining Of her hus-
bands health.
why, is he sick, Martha" asked
Mrs. Mason.
Hes ve'y poly, Ma'am, poly" an
swered the woman. He's got the ex-
clamatory rheumatism"
You mean intiammatory, Martha
said the patron. Explanatory means
to cry out"
Yes, ma'am." replied Martha, with
conviction, "dat's what 1t is. He hol-
lers all the time."-Judge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08

The Wilmington IN. c. Star has
this comment to make IN Mr.. Roose-
velt's suggestion that some Of the
Democratic candidates for elector in
North Carolina, II properly progress
i've. might be put on the third term
party ticket: I'VE do not think there
il the slightest danger OF the col
onel's stealing any of Wilson's North
Carolina vote. At tho same time.
what cen be thought Of the moral
stamina OF a man who would toll
crate, much less conceive, d plan sc
full Of t~rickeryY"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Real Problem.

DO you think we can defeat this
mani" asked the campaign manager.
YES" replied Senator Sorghum,
but I won't be satisfied with that.
What I want to hand him is some
kind Of a defeat that he won't be able
to use as q personal advertisement
Tor future business"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Quaker Oath.

Two small boys in a family of
Friends, writes a contributor, had a
disagreement, during which the older
boy became very much incensed.
Finally, no longer able to control
himself, he took his brother by the
shoulder and shook him, with the ex-
clamation. "Oh, thee little you, thee!"
Then as the enormity of his offense
came over him, he said, in a changed
voice, Don't tell mother I swore."-
Youths Companion
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Telling Comment.

Ty Cobb of the Tigers said at a
recent baseball banquet in Philadel-
phia:
II admit that there is too much
loud talk, too much arguing and
wrangling and chin music in a game
of baseball.
Il know a man who was seen the
other day getting into a taxicab.
Where are you going? they
asked him.
"I'm going to hear the ball game
he replied"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Her ENGAGEMENTS.

Miss Vivian is very much of a fiirt
and she has been engaged to a dozen
young men during the few seasons
she has been on the eligible list. A
few days ago she said to her father:
PA, you may congratulate me on
having acquired a new object of my
affection"
Il am glad to hear It," he replied.
IT hope you are as happy with him as
you will be with the next one"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Rare Books for Harvard.

Harry Elkins Widener, who was lost
on the Titanic, had a very valuable
collection Of books, and these will go
to Harvard university. His grand
father, P. A. B. Widener. will provide
q building In which the books will be
adequately housed. The collection in
cludes q first folio Shakespeare, a
copy Of Shakespeare's poems in the
original binding. and what is described
as the finest collection In the world
OF Robert Louis Stevenson's works.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08

Paxtine Antiseptic sprayed into the
nasal passages Is a surprisingly sue
cessful remedy for catarrh. At drug.
gists, 25c a box or sent postpaid on re-
ceipt of price by The Paxton Toilet
Co., Boston, Mass.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Different,

Daughter-Since It is your wish,
dear parents, that l should marry the
rich old brewer, l consent, although
he Is seventy years old.
Mother-But he is only sixty.
Daughter-Sixty! Tell him to ask
me again in ten neutrality-suspicious.
Blaetter.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08

"A charge OF waste and extrava-
gance in the administrations meth
pfs Of erecting public buildings has
beens made. 1t need occasion no
great surprise II Mr.. Taft eventually
hears that there's some slight dissat-
isfaction with the Payne-Aldrich tariff
law.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
where DOCTORS
FAILED TO help
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound Restored
Mrs. Green's Health
Her Own Statement.
Covington, M .-"Your medicine has,
done me more good than all the doc

Jor medicines. AT
everymonthly period
/ had to stay in bed.
four days because Of
hemorrhages, and
my back was soweak
/ could hardly walk.
I have been taking
Lydia E. Pinkham's,
Vegetable Com
pound and now / can
stay up and do my
work. l think it in
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
BY Experiment.

What was your little boy crying
about last EVENING"" "Over his lesson
In natural history" "a child of that
age studying natural history? You
astonish mel" TITS SO, just the same.
He was learning the difference be-
tween a wasp and a fly"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Troubles Way.

He always climbed a tree when he
saw trouble coming"
And what did trouble do?"
set fire to the tree and smoked him
out again."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
A Year Hence.

Miss Observation-Disclosures, do you
think papa knows Harold is going tot
call for me in his aeroplane? >
Mammal, l think so, dear. He's
been hanging around the skylight with
a club all the afternoon.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08

E[psSSAe Es~H
First Hobo-Why am yu looking so
sad dis mawnin', pardner?
Second Hobo-Why, I am suffering
from irrigation.
First Hobo-Irrigation? You mean
irritation?
Second Hobo-No; irrigation. Do
woman in de wayside cottage emptied
a pail of hot water on my head.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
Their FeeIInu.

well old sport, how do you feel1
I've just eaten a bowl of ox-tail soup
and feel bully"
1--WE just eaten a plate of hash and,
feel like everything."-New Orleans
Times-Democrat.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
A Dare.

To the Editor--Why dc the most
worthless men often get the best
wives?
Answer--I don't know. Ask your
husband.-Smart Set.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08

Relieves and cures Itching, torturing dis
eases of the skin and mucous membrane.
A superior Pile Cure. rs and 30 cents, by
druggists. For free sample write TO J. w.
Cole q Co., Black River Falls, Wis.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08

Since the government wanted the
beef trust dissolved that combination
fastened to oblige, What il d little
thing like q dissolution to the great
purpose Of corporate life to please
th4 s-nNArnpannt7
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08

Knicker-Do you 8 l~abor-saving
devices?
Bocker-Yes. a fishing pole will pre-
vent you from having to take up the
carpet.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
A Bad Break.

Slashes-Been In a fight?
Masher-No. l tried to fiirt with a
pretty suffragette.-Judge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
.Rlttera. Neat.

The grand old party Of Elihu Root
and Jim Sherman is looking for a re-
liable tonic.-Emporia Gazette.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
How Mrs. Cline Avoided
Operation.

Mrs. JENNIE GREEN, CoVlngton, MO.
How Mrs. Cline Avoided
Operation.
Brownsville, Ind.-"I can say that
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
has done me more good than anything
else. One doctor said I must be opera
ted upon for a serious female trouble
and that nothing could help me but an
operation.
II had hemorrhages and at times
could not get any medicine to stop them.
Igotin such aweak condition that I would
have died if / had not got relief soon.
"Several women who had taken your
Compound, told me to try it and / did
and found it to be the right medicine to-
build up the system and overcome
female troubles.
81 am now in great deal better health
than l ever expected to be, 80 I think I
ought to thank you for it. Mrs. o. M.
CLINE, s. Main ST., Brownsville, Ind.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
ALBANIAN NEEDS;
$4,000 FARMERS

Dairymen and stock raisers to supply her
local markets with butter, poultry, vege-I
tables, hogs and cattle. The best lands
in the world can be had at $500 to $4,000
per acre, on easy terms. Let US help you
to get a farm In Alabama, where tho
climate is delightful, where you can raise
several crops each year on the same land
and find a ready market for the same. We
are supported by the State and sell no
lands. Write for information and literature.
STATE BOARD OF IMMIGRATION
MONTGOMERY ALABAMA
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08

LEWIS Single Binder cigar; sixteen years
on the market and always the same rich
satisfying quality.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08
A PuzzIe.


Birds OF a feather flock together"
How about a rooster and a crow p
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08

Mrs. Winalow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, ~aoftens the gums. reduces inhamma-
tion, allays pain, cures wine collie. Csc o bottle.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08

Culture will do much for a woman,
but It win not permit her to snee2e
gracefully.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08

How the average married man
would like to see a tax on the old
bachelorsl
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-08-08

Important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle Of
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that It
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-10-16

~ - NJ. - llulll1llE ~
s-I,uE uga Co. l11. ~ -
a. ~ "a yulluI-ly ~ NlaJl1-lll
Ioua. uh1a ~ ~ rlIt,la = - -
lulR. LR lallainnF - uu
la1,la RnGs ~ ClDa 80 -
E-nav ~ - - - lAa ~
Il-ilu1s 49, ~ ptll-ls q
.EuSul ~ 1 ys - -
l-iis O go a
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1912-01-13
pETRoIT oPERA HousE.

The attraction In the Detroit opera
house, opening Monday evening, for
weeks engagement, will be Joe Web
er's musical comedy success. Alma,
Where Do You Liver" Miss Vera Mi
chelepa is al the head OF the company
which, Is practically the same as seen
during the years run In Joe .Webers
theater. New York. George v. Ho-
bGrt's English version OF Paul Nerves
sensational comedy Is said 20 be a rare
delight. He has discarded from the
original all Of the risque and replaced
II with comedy situations and spark
ling dialogue. The three acts of the
French vaudeville are reputed TO be
as meaty and as full of the unexpected
AS are most straight farce comedies
Jean Briquet's music has been retained
In it's entirety and the IA numbers dis
tributed throughout the three acts of
the piece are claimed 10 be irresist-
ibie. Mr.. Weber's production is COM
plete I'm every detail
The story OF alma, Where Do You
Liver Is as follows: Ambrose Cadil-
lac an Immensely wealthy Partisan,
dies. leaving a peculiar will. Aside
from the ordinary requests, IL be-
dueaths his entire fortune OF four mill
lion francs 90 his unsophisticated
nephew. Pierre lie Peache. provided he
has not made love 10 any woman or