davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20
STATESMEN, REAL AND NEAR.
By FRED C. KELLY

! rife walking toward the red bull, which
was tied to a tree in the side yard
I'm goin' to kill the blamed thing
he told me between his clenched teeth.
"'Knl a brand new bullT says I.
startled. I thought you just paid 800
for it.
Yes he said. and I'm rot doing this
without due elaboration. Yesterday il
dragged me all over the field and skinned
up several trees by knocking me against
them. So last night thought II all over
and 1 came TO the conclusion that 1t
would be worth 800 to me for the fun
and satisfaction Of killing the condemned
brute"
Frederick W. Lehman, Solicitor Cen
eral of the United States, was walking
briskly toward his home a few evenings
ago with four or fve cumbersome pack
ages tucked under each arm. A breeze
struck him, and as one large package
served as an impromptu sail, II was all
Lehman could 90 TO make Roadway.
A friend met him as he was lacking
desperately against the wind.
, Why don't you have the stun deliv-
ered?" asked the friend, noticing that
the bundles contained the name OF a
prosperous big store that keeps a squad
OF dulo ueuNcEy Ndns-
Because I never have things deliv-
cred" replied Lehman. That's one
trouble with the people OF this country.
They're too keen for convenience 4
young woman thinks nothing OF buying
spool Of thread or a yard OF silk and
having II delivered. Somebody has TO
pay for that delivery. So, just as a
matter OF principle, when I buy anything
carry II home with me-"
In this same connection It may be re-
marked that two high government Of
ficisls sat in a Washington club a few
nights ago and argued for an hour and
half about whether Solicitor General
Lehman or Senator Root Is the biggest
legal mind in public life to-day.
Among other things. Lehman can
quote more highbrow poetry than any
body in Washington
George r. MaIby, who represents the
Adirondack District in the House. has
number OF intimate friends among the
mountain guides. Last fall one Of these
made his first trip to New York The
next time he saw him. Malby asked him
about his trip.
Wall. / guess I seen It ALL" said the
guide. I'd go a while on the first notch.
then get on and look around and take the
second notch, and 1 took long run on
the third notch"
What do yoR mean by notches?''
asked Malby, curiously.
What? Amt you never noticed 'em?"
says the guide. why they run cars on
the first notch under the ground, the
second notch is right even with the
ground. and the third notch is clean up
over your head"
Copyright 1872. By Fred c Kelly. AL rights re-
served-l
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

And he does IL. At o'clock he goes out
again. and pays a few calls 10 various
greybeaT1s and lnoffensive people he is
allowed to know. At he dimes alone in
his private room, and twice a week he
goes either to the Francois or the Opera
On Sunday he is confined strictly to
the execution Of his religious devotions,
much to the chagrin Of the Parisians,
who hoped that he would grace the race
meetings that are always so chic, and
would be smarter still for his presence
You see, that all this is not very gay
or riotous. and really think that II II
goes on little Prince Eddy will go back
home as profoundly ignorant Of the
world. the flesh, and the devel as when
he left
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

Representative Frank Nye was a can
didate for county attorney, up Mime
apolis way. several years ago, at the
same time that Rnute Nelson, now Sena-
tor, was running for Governor OF Min
nesota. Nye had an engagement TO speak
at a Nelson meeting In Granite Falls.
and his brother Bill. the humorist. then
in Minneapolis on a visit, went along TO
keep him company.
Frank had had some campaign cards
printed in Hebrew to hand out among
the Jewish voters Of his county. and Bill
stuck three or four OF these in his pocket
before they started to the train.
Came the Inevitable train boy with cur
rent novels, magazines. and costly fruits
to sell He balted Bill Nye's seat with
couple Of books and went on through the
train. In a few minutes he returned and
inquired II Bill didn't wish 10 buy.
NO" sad the humortst. Il like the
books but have no way to carry them.
Well, III mail them 10 you" suggested
the enterprising salesman.
"Oh, very WELL" said Nye quickly.
Here's my address" And he handed the
boy one of Franks cards printed In
Hebrew.
incidentally, Bill Nye addressed the
meeting at Granite Falls. and got the
voters there into such a good humor that
Nelson's plurality broke all records.
DR.. S. W. Stratton. director of the
government Bureau Of Standards.
draws a good salary for determining
down to a gnats eyewinker just what
is a peck. a yard. or a pound. Not long
ago he paused at a little grocery near
l. haf nf an in
apples. The grocer measured them out
in a square wooden box.
That doesn't look like a hslf-peck
measure" remarked Stratton-
1T is, though" replied the grocer,
just that briefly.
We'll, It isn't a serious matter" said
Stratton, but l think you're wrong.
That box looks to me quite bit small
er than a regulation half-peck measure"
Mister" began the grocer, leaning
forward with both hands on the coun-
ter. I've been selling stun by the
measure for nigh onto thirty years and
/ know a peck or a half peck when
see it. You couldn't possibly know as
much about such things as I do"
Maybe not. maybe not" agreed
Stratton. and he walked out without
further argument.
Value is a relative term" observed
Congressman Steve" Porter, OF Pitts
burg. Some months ago. on a hunting
trip" says Porter, Il stopped at a farm
house, where the entire family was in
high glee over the possession Of a fine
red bull they had just bought 1t had
cost 800, and the man said It was worth
that much just for the pleasure its own
ership had already given them Two days
later stopped at that same house again
and found the man of the place with a
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20
Pass Empty LifeBoat.

Special Cable to The Washington Herald.
Plymouth, May 2o-Passengers arriving
here this afternoon on the steamship
Philadelphia reported passing an empty
lifeboat Of the Titanic. The boat was
sighted last Tuesday but its location at
that time was not known.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

We were forcibly reminded of that
owl in the barber shop. which after
having been apostrophized long while
as being a stuffed owl, suddenly cried
out 10 its calumniator: Il am an owl,
you're another" after reading Of Col.
Roosevelt's narrow escape from being
bitten in the hand. And such q MINI
rod. too!
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20
with the Tide.

Percy Haughton. football coach, was
talking about queer football games.
There was a Thanksgiving day game
in Philadelphia at the end of the last
century" he said, that was played IN
a deluge of snow and rain, with Frank
lin Field 4 foot deep In slush.
The Princeton man who won the toss
said, rather bitterly, before the game
began:
do We have to play in this fiuid?
Yves, Of course you do was the i'm
patient reply. Come, come-you've won
the toss-which end do you take?'
We'll said the Princeton man, shsk-
ing his head at the waters spread be-
fore him-'wel, guess wen kick with
the tide"
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

Taking a car on Fourteenth Street, be-
tween New York Avenue and H, where
there are four tracks, is better than any
anti-fat medicine. 1t is also a business
producer for the insurance man.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

A Boston physician urges a return to
nature by the gradual discarding Of
clothes. Never mind about that, but he
appears to be giving US the means Of
meeting the question OF the high cost OF
living
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

Gloucester shad fishermen have caught
a fish with horns like a COW and. tail
like an alligator. They didn't stop TO
look for the corkscrew.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

Now that the shad season is over, there
is NJ excuse for being late after lunch.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

The Wiley baby ought to be q hun
dred per cent pure article.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20
ALITTLE NONSENSE
DAY or THE GAME.

Headache, backsche. busted lung
Pulse that's far from strong,
Feeble heart or coated tongue.
Liver acting wrong.
Earache. toothache. troubles grave,
System all run down
What a lot OF ills We have
When the teams IN town.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

The bIeachers ruIe."-T. R. Anyway,
Ty Cobb doesn't think so, and he seems
to have the people with him.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20
Supported Two.
Makes n Difference.

What is this?'
"As you see. IT is a badge demanding
votes for women"
You wearing such a badger
Yes, l."
But you always told me you could
never see any reason for woman's
suffrage"
Yes; but I didn't know it was going
to become a rather stylish fad"
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

Merely a suggestion-Ty Cobb as a
for certain gentleman in
Ohio. Straight from the shoulder with
no back against the wall"
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

Judges who object to criticism would
dc well to begin not to invite it.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

Mr.. Taft's new phrase. explosive in
consistency will need no explanation.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

wanted-A statesman who has no press
agent. Apply any newspaper.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

When a rubber combine "stretches'
its capital to 100000 where is the
Joke?
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

Summer tourists are fighting shy of
Ohio State too hot.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20
Uncle Pennywsse sayal


What a lot OF ills We have
When the teams IN town.
Uncle Pennywsse saysi
An American Indian In London was
recently nearly scared to death by
suffraeettes on the warpath.
A Mean Slap.
It was Monday and the manager was
dishing out the parts to the assembled
actors.
what part do I have In this new
play?'' inquired the leading man
You DO the boarding house keeper And
you had better start rehearsals ct once"
Hes letter perfect at doing the board
ing-house keeper" commented tire Juve-
nile gentleman. Been doing that all his
life"
May 20 I'm History.
May 20. INA George invents the hole
in the doughnut, an improvement used
to this day
May %. ISL DR.. johnson evicted for
OF rent. Boswell records
this as the e5lst time.
A strand at airline.
He sighed for lock Of the landlady's
hair.
His love he was fearful to utter.
But love finds a way and by using due
care
He saved a lock out of the butter.
We All would.
"old man. we want you in our clean
up campaign"
''AlI right"
well. name your preference. commit
tee on dumps. alleys, or backyards.
What would you like to clean up?"
I'd like TO clean up about a million
dollars"
Supported Two.
The drummer was dissatisfied with &C
commodations in Piunkville and said so
plainly.
This town amt big enough for two
hotels" he asserted to the waiter.
They're both bum"
That's just it, explained that func-
tionAry. People are forever Ieavin' one
or the other, and they've got to have
some place TO go"
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

An american Indian In London was
recently nearly scared to death by
suffrasettes on the warpath.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-20

In this same connection It may be re-
marked that two high government Of
ficials sat in a Washington club a few
nights ago and argued for an hour and
half about whether Solicitor General
Lehman or Senator Root Is the biggest
legal mind in public life to-day.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1912-09-25

We are better prepared to supply
your needs in shoes than ever. We
have just what the children need
for school wear. Come to us when
you wish to get the children ready
for school.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1912-09-25
BEWARE OF MALARIA.

Mmaria-Chills and Eevers-conIron
complaints among people living in the
Southeastern States, can be effectively re-
lieved in the shortest possible time by
r. L T.-Richardson's Laxative Tonic.
This prescription has been used thirty
Eve years by DR.. Richardson, of Anderson,
s. c., In his daily practice as family
physician, and has bekipd it thousands OF
testimonials from many prominent South
Carolinians and citizens of other neighbor-
ing states. R. L. T. is wonderful cor.
rector Of liver troubles and the greatest
tonic on the market today. You can abso-
autely rely on it in any case of chills and
fever or malarial pr.oon, constipation Of
biliousness.
If any member of your family need q
tonic that strengthens and builds, so to
Jour druggist today and get ffty-cent or
G dollar bottle Of r. L. T., and watch the
quick, steady improvement. II your drug.
glst can't supply you write R L. T. Co.,
Anderson, s. c.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1912-09-25
Notice of Executor s
Sale OF Land.

By virtue Of the power confer
red upon me, in and by the Will of
the late Capt. Henry B. Gallman,
I will fsell at public out-cry, at
Edgefeld, South Carolina, on the
first Monday in October. A. D.,
1912, during the legal hours of
sale, all of that tract of land, known
as the Egypt Place., containing
one hundred and ffty-fve and
l9-loO acres.
This land will be sold in two
traots; tract No. l containing 7s
acres and tract No. 9, containing II
and 19-l00 acres; plats of said
tracts will be exhibited on the day
Of sale.
This land is situate within three
or four miles of the Town of Edra-
field, aDd is we'll adapted 10 cor,
cotton and all other crops grown i.
this section. The land lies we. :.
is well timbered. and we'll weter,:1.
Persons desiring information con
corning said land, will please oall
on the undersigned at his office.
Terms of sale cash. Papers ex-
ira.
o. Sheppard.
Sept. IL, Executor.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1912-09-25
n office.

State of South Carolina, s:x.
County of Edgefield,
In Probate Court.
In re, the Estate of Thos. G. Smith
and Mrs. Mary and Joe s. Smith,
Administrators-Notice of 3D.
plioation for Final Discharge.
Whereas, we, Mrs. Mary Smith
and Joe S Smith, rs Administrators
of the estate of Thcs. Smith decd,
have made our final returns in this
case. we shall apply unto Judge w.
t. Kinnaird, Judge of Probate for
the County of Edgefeld, Stste Of
South Carolina. at his Office at Edge
field G. Il, on Sept. go, 1912, at
II o'clock, for final discharge in
said case.
Mrs. Mary Smith,
Joe S. Smith,
As Administrators.
Aug. 2s, 1912.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1912-09-25

the cattlemen and whose name had
been coupled with Bobby Ellis lately.
Helen looked hard at the fascinating
widow who was talking earnestly to
Mr.. Main Mrs. Watkins was evident
ly vain Of the wealth Of red hair that
was generously streaked with white,
for she made no attempt to conceal
its piebald effect. She had a round
pink and white face, sweet and good
humored, and her smile was good to
see. Gs
"She looks sweet said Helen IN
spite Of the wave Of jealousy that
rushed over her.
"She is a sweet, good little woman,
and she's seen heap Of trouble" said
Bobby emphatically. "The best day
she ever had was til 6ns on Which
sine planted Oh Watk 81"
''Was he oli?" asi: su!sn family.
"E.bolt Rawlins' a.: ray-rNed Bob
by me, ;ilcssly. "She -fjes' 70 help
her fc:s alorg. The 'ar s1a loved
vas PR thel olt b, '.lgle<i ,nd is
pretty .,en o.: now l%c1 as your
pa-ao.i as sccr dis,cei ei,iar.L!"
"Pe,AaDs Il will :.:.r-g now-is
he a v;dower?
ayes hs's free enough-but Whsth-
e. th;r marry or not-hm!"
rs at what you wanted to tell
raeq" ~ .ed Helen coidly,
"Sonaething Hike that" returned Bob
by Ellis in her pink ear. TN going
to be married tomorrow morning"
The girl in his aims stfffersd lit
tic and her hands grew cold. AL the
pretty color was drained from her
cheeks. She moved her npS to make
reply, but no sound came.
"I was going to aekyo pa to daYe
you over to the ceremony-the Darson
at Red Spider will tie tho knot"
Helen laughed 0That's funny
was telling father the other day that
I had nsver been to Wedding IN my
life. It's good Of you to asksus to your
wedding"
az hope youT come-eVerything's
arranged. even got tho ring-right
hers!' Mr., Ellis thumped his vest
pocket suggestiyely.
"Is-,s Mrs. Watkins" Helen's
voice died away In an agonized whis;
per.
Bobby Ellis paid no attention to
that. "Tle wilder? Bless your heart,
yes-couldn't do the stunt without
her!" he said cheerfully.
Helen was game. "We will come, ="
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1912-09-25
Bobby Ellis
lSEssss.ss3
eOop4riYbt, 1919, bT Associated Literary Press
Ely Grace Kerrisan

eOopYrisht, 1919, bS Associated Literary PressJ
HeleQ trenbled when Bobby Ellis
detached himself from the wallfow-
ers at the sehoolhouss dance and
s2ouched across TIE 6oor toward her.
Ee crooked his elbov and jsrked his
head In q stiff bow. In Salt Pet-e
Creek this pantomims was the custo-
mary invitation to dance. g.
The girl glanced across the room
and ,breathed sigh Of relief when she
saw that her fathers broad back was
turned toward them Bobby Ellis not
ed the hesitation and smiled tolerant
ly. Eelea's hand slipped into his arm
and In another moment they were
waltzing to the strains Of violin and
corDet Bo5by's arms clasped her
closely and she could feel the heavy
humping Of his brave heart
Il expect your pa will be-, kind OF
wrathy about this dance, but there
was something I had to Gag TO 9ou. I"
said Bobby presently.
~I don't care If he ts-Suss oone. "
said Helen Peoksessiy.
That's proper spirit, my girl, ap-
proved Bobby. "He still holds you to
your promise to marry Rawlins7'
"Yes."
"And you told him you'd be q duh-
full daughter and marry the old skin
flint, sos they could fine all THAR land
together and make the biggest range
IN tie county?" His voice was cares
sing in Its softness, but Helen tren-
bled at It's hidden menace.
Nothing more-has been said I
suppose father takes it for granted,
after your quarrel with him. He
Knows that ! haven't seen you until
tonight I hope he won't make trou-
ble.H
He's harmless for q WHILE" grin
ned Bobby IS he turned her past her
parents brad back.
who's t;:at he's talking TOT
"a lccy friend of mine"
"a friend OF yours?" inquired Helen
WITH catch in her voice.
"Ye5--i just made 'em acquainted
Your ps will enjoy her right we'll"
"Who is she, Bobby?"
"Mre. Watkins-SaIly Wathns-the
Wtddc, Watkins from ChinQuapin."
"Ohi" 7asped Helen, for she had
heard OF the gay Widow Watkins who
had cracy.ad havoc with the hearts Of
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1912-09-25
Scholarship For Sale

The Advertiser has a scholarship
in Draughn's Business College that
we srs authorized to sell for less than
the regular price. Ary young man
or ,oung lady desiring TO take
course in Bookkeeping, Stenogra.
ply or Typewriter should not
miss this opportunity. Apply at
once at this Office.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1912-09-25
Special Notices

ooooo.ooo ,.So~~o.-O~---e-o.
We are still selling IL os:ehrssed
Studebaker wagon. Th, asst ye-
Wilson &c Ca.r2lo1.
No matter what yoa wat IL sns
buggy line. We will gs: it foS you
if we don't happen to Eave just
what you are looking for.
y Wilson & Cantelox.
Large assortment of trunks, bags,
suit cases, etc, at reasonable prices.
Ramsey & Jones.
Ladies' writing desks in nahoga-
ny, birdseye maple, weathered oak
in mission effect. Open and roller
top Office desks and Office chairs.
NfsazE2s a5;taEs; x,s,,=s.s Ramsey & Jones.
-'-' ~A'''' .cA:SsSgS
Egse have now in st ccksline Of
cut glass and chinaware suitable for
wedding presents. We invite yeur
inspection. i. s.sE ea
w. E. Lynch & Go.
Look at our buggies and harness
before buying, we will save you
money.
Wilson & Cantelou.
If you want nice carriage, call
and see our line.
Wilson & Cantelou.
Large stock of wagon and buggy
harness, also parts of harness. See
our saddles, brides and blankets
before buying.
Ramsey & Jones.
FOR SALE: Applsr seed oats at
70 cents per bushel. Georgia Blue
Stem Wheat, made "a bushels per
acre this year, at $3.50 per bushel.
Apply to
L. G. Watson,
9-ll-4t. Trenton, S. G..
We are better prepared to supply
your needs in shoes than ever. We
have just what the children need
for school wear. Come to Us when
you wish to get the children ready
for school.
Rubenstein.
Messrs. Rives Bros. as usual have
been having big coat suit sale for
ladies the first of September and
this year they had suoh a success
with the large line that their for
mer big assorted sales brought the
trade this year without the sii of
printers ink and they have now
second lot that will bs in and will
let you hear from them. ADV.
We will enlarge our millinery de-
partment for the approaching fall
season. Our milliner, Miss Gram
lin, has arrived to sake charge.
Many of our new millinery goods
have come in and others are arriv-
ing daily by express. Soon we will
ann ounce our fall opening.
Rubensrein.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-09-06

fhHty M. C1s gl,s all
uui,-A-r. rlar-uls.l . borla sul
rrrso.s ~, q mlrn.lo 80 -.
|usG.,.lfs .1,aubR m spAlll.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-09-06

piRAE aAbE 4 cEosE cc.ITI1T
wr5se tsE eaaoi,A 1uRGt
4TOR
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-09-06

~ Q. .. 9 y IIllllI J.
]. UI1iaE AllnOn1, -
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-04-15
ACCIDENTAL SHOT
KILLS GAVALRYNAH
American Inspector Investl-
gates Sonora Slaughter
house and Markets.

.Nogales. ARR, April 15.-Private John
Mcclure of the fourth United States
cavalry. troop NJ, stationed at Nogales,
was accidentally shot and instantly
killAd by private Freeman v. Currie as
Currie drew his pistol to clean it for
the regular inspection. Funeral services
were held by Rev. I. W. Longacre at the
mortuary chapel, attended by all the
officers and privates of the troop, and
the body was attended by an escort of
honor, composed of a corporal and eight
privates, who presented arms, and the
trumpeter sounded taps" the soldiers
good night
The body was shipped to the mothers
home at Williamson, Y. c.
American Inspects Mexican Market.
NJ E. Rex. an inspector of food and
drugs in the department of agriculture,
Washington, D. c., has been at Nogales
several days, investigating the santa
tion of the slaughter pen and meat mar
ket at Nogales, Sonora. where nearly
all of the residents of Nogales, Ariz-,
buv their meat. At one time for several
months there was a restriction On buy
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-04-15

ing meat at the municipal market in
Nogales. Sonora, but 1t was removed,
and families again buy nearly all con
sumed there.
The Southern Pacific has resumed the
motor car service on the Nogales- Benson
run. instead Of the steam train.
Mrs. George W. P. Hunt, wife Of Ari-
zona's chief executive, viii spend the
month of Nav in NOgales as the guest
of Mr.. and Mrs. F. J. Duffy. Judge
Duffy and governor Hunt are intimate
friends of long standing
n. Bonscharain, who has conducted the
hotel MaderO in NOgales, Sonora, for
some years. has leased the hotel to
Aoustin Fscobosa and has removed with
his family to Hantobampo, on the Rio
MAYO. where he viii farm
Nogales and vicinity have had de-
cided drop in temperature, with heavy
frost and ice, and the mountains white
with snow
La ALBANIA lodge Of the Hispano-
Americana society gave a ball at the
armory hall at NOgales Tor the benefit
of the anniversary celebration Of the
lodge on May Is.
c. T. Jones has taken over the man
agement of the Garlic meat shop and
I. f. GARLIC viii conduct the cold stOr
age business.
N. z. Flores has moved his family
from Cllliacan to Los Angeles and trans
ferred his mining interests to Cananea,
where he viii reside.
Phil HerOld, county recorder, is crit
ically i'll with erysipelas at his home
on Elm street.
Mrs Elizabeth Walton has bought the
lumber. adobes and other building ma
terials out of the warehouses on the
railroad reservation facing the station