The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-05-09
KING BUSINESS is ON THE BUM
BEING \ RULER in THESE DAYS IS FAR FROM WHAT IT
USED To- BE.

ment and not allowed So many ele-
plants to play with.
Perhaps the most powerful ruler in
the world today is the czar of Russia,
but, after all. what JOY Is there in be-
ing powerful when o have to wear
q oombproof union suit and can never
be certain that some grand duke has
not slipped a pinch of cyanide into
your coffee:
Another trouble with being a king
is that YOU have to get married and
there are only a few girls whose rank
is high enough to make them appro-
PIRATE matches. Princesses in the
tiful t"r chroniclers were all liars.
which sounds more p%robable.) But
there has been a sad falling off in
the appearance of royalty in recent
wears if We may judge by the pictures
of most OF the princesses. You coulo
pick II half dozen better looking girl.
mt most any d%ebutante dance in this
country.
In the story books, of course. the
prince breaks away in masterful fash
ion n weds the girl of his choice.
whose parents are Door but o dis
honest. to get locked up. Unfortuh-
atcly that only happens in the story
book Real princes are so hedgcl
about by their wv greatness that 1t
is hard to imagine one getting out and
having a real. r~ed-bloodcd good time.
Some of them sneak off to Paris now
and again and get stewed and play
about with the chorus persons. and
then likely enough return home only
to find that some Wild-nyed reformtr
has mov into the palace and hung
out the standing room only sign
on the front door.
OF course. the writer realizes that
Nl-too tlfnnSD md NTnnno1 rn,j <l,ic
they will be pretty sore. but it really
is written more in a spirit of sorrow
than anger. Goodness knows, nobody
ought to blame Il poor king for what
he can't help, and as for those rude
persons who run about With bombs
concealed in their whiskers and with
the avowcd object of scattering a
king over a township. why. nothing
is too harsh to be said about them.
Their morals are bad, not to mention
their Why seek nut a harm
less. unnecessary king to kill when
there are SO many men who are real
menaces like the ice man and the
coal dealer?
For the kings of the present day
are we'll behaved. for the most part.
Perhaps its because they know they
wouldn't be king if they weren't. but
anyhow they are inoffensive. Look at
George OF England. A more HE
and harmless man never lived. He
wouldn't even wat a fly if parliament
asked him not to.
The chances are most of them
wouldn't he kings if they could get
ont of it and knew how to earn a liv-
ing any other way. But they don't
However. kings confer certain mild
benefits upon mankind after all.
Americans are enabled to exhibit their
iewelry whenever a king is crowned
and compare their wives. glittering
with s~orgeousness, to the quenn in a
bunch of tawdry old trinkets that
have been handed down since long
before the time of Tiffany.
Perhaps Colonel Roosevelt sized up
the situation about as concisely as
possible When replying to somebody
who accused him of wanting to be
king. He observed that being a king
these days WAS about the same as
being vice president for life with the
leadership of the -four hundred"
thrown in.
Tho colonel added that there are
jobs that would appeal more to a life
sized man.