The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1912-11-15
RAGaQUAp

giao1Z Goodlus ~. .eoae ease
e1l1-S llfdllfRans- -sstHedssin a Con-
neetieut THIages She was a chiIdIeIs
1go1lan-Df i've, and the Villagers
liked he- lool-e and gave her welcome
Eor dTe or SIX weeks all went wen,
ana then the widow broke out
"A Vfleesr Eho5had ldOne1nQlne paint
inc 4bezlid dow called Ter HIS money
She opened IRE on him at once After
tongue Iashing him for I'VE minutes
she picked SlO a club ana drove him
from the nremises. She had garden,
and she had given neighbor perufs-
sion 60 cut the grass for his COW. He
was cutting away when the woman de
seended upon him and gave him q Gun
on the ear and rushed him out OF the
yard amuch frightened man The gro
Ger Unopened TO be passing, and he
halted at the gate to see the fun. Ms.
GOodhue walked cut to him End said:
4See here, you baboOn faced son OF
gun you tnot right on or III break
your knees
The grocer stood with mouth open
and wondered Il he-had heard Alright
Didn't / teII yOu to tTot p demanded
the widow as she whirled him around
and administered a kick that raised his
heels six inches from the ground.
Across the street a carpenter was
building a fence. AS he hammered
away shadow fell across his feet. At
the same time a stick fell upon his
head.
s,what! what's thisg" he asked as
he whirIed around
TOO much darned noise:" replied the
why. lady. I have gossO hammer in
the nails''
Then I've got to hammer you with
this stick!"
And she sailed IN and drove him from
his job, and, Ike the grass cutter and
the grocer he went away to spread the
report that the Widow Goodhue had
gone plumb crazy. The facts in the
matter later reached the ears Of Dr.
BeazIer, the oldest practitioner In the
county and an acknowledged authority
Gu mental diseases, and he made call
to see how bad the case was. He5
found the patient seated on the door
in the middle OF the room, with her
hair down and q broken chair beside
her. At the first glance he decided that
she was crazy
.Wen2" she asked after they had
stared at each other for half a minute. 4
You are not feeling very wel2' he
half queried-
You are an internal Har!' she
promptly replied.
DR.. BeazIer smiled Ike the bloom on
n bull thistle and sat down As he sat
down the widow jumped up. He read
his peril ia her eyes and made bolt
for the door and got most OF his body
outside before her foot hit the rest OF
it That settled it The newcomer
was as crazy as a March. April or May
hare. She must, be restrained. The
law must be appealed to. The village
was agog over the news, but it had
something more coming to It. Next
day and before any steps had been
taken the smiling and good natured
widow was asking the neighbor why
be didn't cut more grass for his COW
She was at the grocery ordering a big
bill OF eatables. She was bowling to
Or. BeazIer across the street, and she
repaid three or four social calls. Crazy?
Why, the person that said so must be
a born fool. She was just lovely, she
ives.
Five times in one year the widow
had those queer spells. Then the good
Deacon Watkins came from a distance
of nine miles to court her and win her
hand and carry her of to Medina 1t
was all done in six weeks time. and
none OF the villagers posted the wOoer
as to those strange spells. He had
been bridegroom for several weeks
and was still feeling mnshy when one
of them came on and gave him the
surprise OF his life He was cuffed
and Kicked down cellar and upstairs
and out Of the house. and for two days
he ate raw turnips and slept in the
barn. Then peace and love were re-
stored and all went merrily. There
were four outbreaks before the deacon
began TO think of divorce Then he
went to his pastor to talk things over.
''She doesn't get hold OF liquor?" ask
ed the parson.
Not drop; not even cider"
WAS there insanity in her famTy:"
''SShe says not
Deacon. you run the house. don't
you?" asked the parson.
Yes, kinder-that Is guess do
(Which means that your wife does"
'sUmr'
The parson reflected for Eve min
ntes. and then for Eve more he was
busy whispering into the deacon's
right ear. Then the deacon smiled
and nodded and went home. The next
day the parson went on his vacation,
and 1t was six weeks before they met
again