davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
American "Ari.soer.ey.-

II gilt were only gold. or sugar
candy common sense. what a fine
thing our society would be, II to
lavish money upon objects de vertu,
to wear the most costly dresses and
always to have them cut in the height
Of fashion; to build houses 80 feet
broad as II they were palaces; to fur
nish them with all the luxurious de-
vices of a Persian genius; to give su.
perb banquets at which your guests
laugh and which make you miserable;
to drive fine carriage and ape Eli-
ropean hveries and crests and coats
of arms; to resent the friendly ad-
vances Of your bakers wife and the
lady Of your butcher (you being your.
self a cobbler's daughter; to talk
much Of the ''old families" and CT your
aristocratic foreign friends: to despise
labor; to prate OF good 'socfety;" to
/ travesty and parody. in every con.
ceivable way. society which we
know only in books and by the super
fetal observation Of foreign travel
which arises out OF . social orgaplza
tion entirely unknown to US, and
which is opposed to our Fundamental
and essential principles: IL all these
were fine, what q prodigiously fine So
ciety would ours be.-George William
Curtis.
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
Wanted Il Complete.

SevAral days ago housefurnishing
shop on Chestnut street, west OF
Broad. had display Of bathroom sup
plies in their window. In one cor
ner was q bathtub. Over this was
hung a portable shower with. sign
attached which read. Complete.
$40" A man came into the store
and said to the salesman. I'll take
the shower" The latter was rather
surprised that such . seedy-looking
Individual would make such . pur.
chase and said. I'VE do not send
these &C. o. D." That's all right"
he replied. and took ten-dollar note
from . roll OF bills. In the course
Of the day the shower was delivered
to a certain address. The next day
a little girl came into the shop. and.
giving the address OF the purchaser
Of the day before said. I'VE got the
shower all right. but my father wants
to know where the bathtub Is" The
frm sent for the shower and re-
turned the SO bill without comment
philadelphia Ledger
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
Pump for Horn Players.

Tho patient German inventor has
produced q new labor-sRving device:
this time It IL meant to make easier
the work Of the man who plays .
wind instrument.
To maintain at the lips an air pres
sure required for some wind instru-
ments Ii fatiguing. Besides this tho
necessity for taking breath once In .
while makes It almost impossible to
render properly long passages full Of
sustained notes.
Hence the inventor has devised q
machine operated by the foot which
conveys air under pressure by q tubs
to the mouth OF the player It would
be, Of course. impossible to attach the
tube from the bellows directly to the
instrument, since It Is by the mouth
that character 10 given to the sounds.
But the musician using this inven.
ton will have his mouth constantly
filled with air. and can breathe in
through hia nose without interruptina
his flow Of music.
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
PENGUIN OIL INDUSTRY
e,aps ARE CAPTURED AND BRED
FOR PROFIT.
Maeauaris Island. Between Tasmania
and the Antarctic Continent, 10
the Center Of Promising
Commercial Enterprise.

What is probably the most southerly
industry OF the world Is being carried
on at Macquarie island. about halfway
between Tasmania and the Antarctic
continent, in capture OF penguins for
their OIL Macquarie island belongs
To the state Of Tasmania. and has al
area of about $4,000 acres. being about
twenty-five miles long and Ave miles
wide. The island il leased by the
Tasmania government to Joseph
Hatch. who has established penguin
oil industry there. Recently meeting
Mr.. Hatch, obtained the following
particulars from him:
There are probably 100000 pen
gums on the island, SO that the stock
to be drawn from seems almost limit
less. There are also large number
Of sea elephants about the shores OF
this island. The oil Is obtained from
the penguins by boiling the carcasses
in digesters capable OF dealing with
500 birds at a time. The tops OF the
digesters are fastened down and steam
applied until about twenty-five pounds
pressure 10 ATTAINED. The steam is
then turned of and water pumped into
the bottoms of the digesters. this
causing the oil to RISE. when 1t is
takken of the top by tap.
The oil is placed in barrels and sold
to binder twine makers in Australia
and New Zealand. There is a good
market for all the oil that is produced
here. but the industry has met with
several severe losses through wreck
Of ships attempting to visit the island.
There is no harbor about the island,
so that vessels have to lie about half
a mile OF the rocky coast. and all
material has to be conveyed to and
from the shore on RATS formed OF
casks. Owing to the roughness OF
the open roadstead. 1t is impossible to
obtain insurance for vessels trading
there.
-Macquarie island is about $50 miles
southeast of Hobart. The island Is
barren, being covered only with tus-
socky grass. Whaling ships visiting
there introduced rabbits and Maori
hens; which are now quite prolific
The Mawson Antarctic expedition
from Australia has established wire
less station there. and daily messages
are now being received at Hobart. It
was the intention of this expedition to
use MacQuarie island as a means OF
sending messages all the way from
their base at Adele land to Hobart
but unfortunately the wireless station
established at Adele land has been
unable to communicated with Mac
quarie island, owing. 1t ID supposed,
to being too near the magnetic ~
turbances caused by the proximity
Of the south magnetic pole. The
station at Macquarie island, however.
has already proved Of considerable
value to shipping in Australian waters
by giving warning of storms coming
up from the south.-Consul Henry D.
Baker, Hobart, Tasmania.
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
OFFICIAL UNIFORM OF BEAUTY
?otentate Of Microscopic SCUM
American state Wished to Mako
Impression on People.

For the seventeenth time In tnree
years the microscopic South Amer
can state had undergone a cnanse "
administration. and the new potentate
President Casper the three hunoreo
and second, had summoned an arus.
and was ordering new designs for a.
the Official uniforms.
Il want something striking, ne oe'
clared-"something showy. even. MY
people are impressed by such things
have here some sketches l made my
self. Look them over. and be gulo'
ed by these ideas rs far as possible
The artist examined them carefully
They were gorgeous affairs, Green
coats Wed with crimson vests In bril-
liancy, orange-colored trousers with
scarves of Cambridge blue. All the
colors of the rainbow were there.
All" he said. turning the pages
This is evidently for the navy. this
for the army. this for the-this-what
is this for. with the long plume on the
three-cornered hat. the bright yellow
dress. trimmed with purple. and
That" explained the president
bravely. "is for the secret police'
London Answers.
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
Drunken MONKEYS.

According to recent letter from
the Congo region on the west coast Of
Africa, the monkeys there are inor.
dinately fond Of kind OF beer made
by the natives. who use the beverage
to capture their poor relations.
Having placed quantities Of the beer
where the monkeys can get 1t. the Ia.
tives wait until their victims are in
various degrees OF inebriation. and
when they then mingle with them the
poor creatures are too much fuddled
to recognize the difference between
negro and ape.
When negro takes the hand OF ono
OF them to lead him OF. some other
fond creature clings to the hand nj
the latter one. and another one to hi,
hand; thus a single negro may some.
times be seen carrying OF a string Of
staggering monkeys.
When secured the beer Ia admin,
istered in decreasing quantities. 40
that they may only gradually awaken
to the sad results OF their spree.
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
Buys THE BOTTOM OF A BAY
hartford, Conn.,, Man Flnds His Sup
posed Warrington Raneh Guarded
BY oattleships.

Bremerton, Wash.--When r. A. Full
Ter. a tobacco importer Of Hartford.
Conn, receives a letter from \ realty
company OF this city he will learn that
his Western ranch of 100 acres II
guarded from marauding Indians by a
oeet Of Uncle Sans war vessels,
which nre anchored some ten fathoms
above II At low~&iAe.
Fuller wrote to the realty company
to whom he had been referred by
Bradstreets. asking for information
about his farm, which he located &C.
curately by range. township and sec
tion.
Investigation showed "the farm
lies At the bottom Of the bay between
Fort Orchard and Brementon. where
the Pacific reserve feet 10 lying II
anchor.
Fuller did not state how he came In
10 possession Of the farm. He asked
for information relative to its value
also the probability OF finding q Gus
toner for II. a. he desired to sell. Sc
tar the realty man has found no pur
chaser.
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
TEXT TAKEN TOO LITERALLY
Little julia Was Deeply Impressed oy
Sunday School Lesson on e"'s
taInIne Angels.

BE not forgetful to entertain
strangers: for thereby some have en-
tertained angels unawares."
The foregoing quotation - ITO"
chapter kill, verse 2, Book OF ,
brews, and 1t Is introduced solely Dc
cause 1t constitutes a vital part OF TINS
story. Julia is ten years old and sne
goes to Sunday school 1t appears
that on a recent occasion the SUNDAY
school teacher had considerao'e "
say about this matter OF entertain
ing angels unawares." anyway ="
made a deep impression with Ju'ia.
A few days after the lesson Jul'a
mother left her In charge OF the house
for a few hours. When the mothei
returned she went to particular cup
in the cupboard to extract there,roM
one-half dollar. In this cup 10 kep'
the family pin money. and Julia
mother knew that she had put ntey
cents there before she had gone out
But the half dollar was go'>e. Inere
was an expression Of anxiety on Ju'
LAS f.ce and mother scented mis-
chief.
Did you take that money! asAeo
the mother, somewhat severely.
Julia broke into tears. Il gave 1t to
man that came to the back door,
sobbed the little girl.
Gave 1t to a mani" exclaimed tue
mother. what for!"
.I thought he might be God. tear
fully replied Julia.-kansas City Star.
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
Corrected.

The friend took the visiting Boston
Ian to the ball game. The Sostonlan
didn't care for the game, but the local
man had nothing else to show him.
There, see," said the native; the
pitcher has just thrown curved ball
Did you notice it,"
Il noticed it." replied the Bostonlan
But l wouldn't call 1t curved.
would call it sinusoidai."
Whereupon the native ceased to OF
fer further information-and they lef'
the grounds at the end OF the sixth
inning the home team being hope
iessly In the minority.-Clevelant
Plain Dealer.
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
NEW JERSEY CASTLE ROBBED
Js>..s,a Stolen From House Built l'm
Msdiasvai Dungeon and 9uaro'
Cd BY Bulldogs.

Belleville, N. J-If you had DUN
vour house like a mediaevai dungeon
with iron doors and bars at the S'u
dows: II you had stationed 'n.e
ferocious bulldogs to guard II aS Wv
fairy-tale kings guarded their princes.
daughters: II you had put all you'
family tewelry in two strohepoAe'
locked those boxes In CLOSET ,,r.N ,"S
then locked that. and then i..
found, when you went to loon ,S
these Jewels, that they were 'o,n.
what would you think OF the sas,ns
that n "man's house Ia his easue'
Well, 1t happens in TINS 'hs'"",' an
that the castle was built by "o',~n, Tns
40 there's an end to that puazie' =,
woman is Mrs. Elizabeth LEVIN
Grayiock avenue. She ,s a "ioo" "
with with her daughter M
Two wears ago Mrs. Levin oui,. u
house like the one described, ~
has always had shiverfhs 'e" .,,h
th,eves go she had an iron oool' W."
har. behind the window, put III ."e
r-or, entrance. corralled three Oh Wv
II 10
narca., bulldogs she could find OF 'Wno W
sort that cnrtoonists portray " from
act q, tearing triangular ph'on,S ,,aoch.
the Seats of pie-seeking hopoe' two
es: locked up her jewe's ~ ,ock.
hoxes one within the other anu ''
cd these in q closet. ,,s
A few days ago a caller came ~ could u
house and Mrs. Levin said she "Vu oha
ike 10 show her the "sparKlers sot
won't 10 the closet. unlocked H. and md
ont the boxes. unlocked 'o''"
then tainted.
the Jewels were gone hons.
Ther. IL not a mark on 'he n'" no
IN .hov that 1t was broken ,n,o' ., no
.eryar. girl has left precip'ta.er,,s o,,,,sss
rhost has sroansd on the psacted
Mrs. Levin searched and '""s as then
the dwelling for two days ,,a nna '
reported tho theft to the poi p. nre
Among tho missing helrloons orrpiu
rim. with 16 diamonds. .nar Of
With 80 diamonds and nuU'''
other Jewels.
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
ANYTHING TO SAVE THE HAT
,.i,s. Forced to Smile At Antics Of
Men Caught In Rain With New
Straw HsadosAr.

.1 have nothing to say against
men" said Lucinda. but really 1t
wakes me smile to see them In the
straw hat season when . shower
comes, At such time you may see .
woman in all her finery keeping calm
ly on her way quite unrufied. while
men are darting into open doorways
ar starting to run. all to protect their
precious straw hats from few drops
~ rain. And what funny things they
do besides.
PLENTY Of men when the sprinkle
begins take OF their hat and carry 1t
sort Of carelessly down at their sides.
as il they had taken It of just to cool
their fevered brow. don't you know. to
make themselves more comfortable:
but really SO that less Of the hats
surface may be exposed to the rain.
And then you may see man carrying
his hat SO tilted that the rain will
fall on the under side Of tho brim and
not on the top and crown.
You may see some men take on
their hat and put 1t quite frankly un-
der their coat and hold that over It
to keep 1t dry. while the number Of
men who open out q newspaper and
hold that over their bright straw hat
IL not small.
The man who holds newspaper
over his hat tries usually to do this
with q, careless air. as II he didn't
care much about 1t. but thought he
might a. we'll give his hat some pro-
lection. But sometimes you see . man
wrestling with = newspaper desper-
ately.
Here, for instance. was q man who
had been standing In q doorway walt
ing for a car, and who now
when he saw his car coming. clapped
a newspaper over his hat and ran out
into the rain. Heavy business this
was. for he had to hold that news
paper ON with one hand while he
grabbed for the handhold on the side
Of the car with the other. And after
all know he must have found that
his hat had been ruined when he
got aboard.
But here was another man. who
with the aid Of a newspaper was keep
ing his hat absolutely dry. He had
carefully and completely wrapped his
hat up In q newspaper. ard now here
he was with his hat SO wrapped and
carried under his arm. walking bare
headed down Broadway!
Really. 1t does make me smile
when see what men do with their
hats when . shower comes.
York Times.
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
w.oes No object.

Can't .ou get any work." asked =
woman Of the tramp who had applied
at the back door for food.
Yes. ma'am." he retorted. Il was
offered q steady tub by the man who
lives down the road In that big white
house"
That's Mr.. Oatseed. What was the
work."
"He wanted mo to get mp st four In
the morning. milk IT cows. feed, VA
ter and rub down four horses. clean
the stables. and then chop wood until
It was time to begin the days work
What did he want to payf"
II dunno, ma'am. didn't STOP te
ask."-Youth's CompaHion.
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
Mumed knocks-

"verena, bring Uncle Elijah another
napkin: he has tucked that one unde'
his chin"
81 was only joking when l said you
had been calling on the manicure. MT
Plimmins: can see that you nave
MT"
IT'S awfully good Of you to stay &c
lonR this evening. Mr.. Spooner. SUI
fering as you must be from those tisn'
shoes"
How much trouble 1t Is to look
after boys! don't wonder. MIS-
Chucksley, that you seldom have
time to wash Bobby's face.
Clarence. dear. are you starting =
beard, or have you merely forgotten
to shave?"
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
PANTHERS SLA7 81
BEASTS CAUSE a SCARE IN
PENNSYLVANIA, ~
State Rangers Find Mac,
OF Their Presence, lnclua,.s's "as'sl
I" Attacks Tina, Had a..a' s'a1|
Made on sears

williamspor'' pa.-rae D,,,
scare that has laid hoa Of W. psas
Creek region and which we
month ago when Abram u,,ps ppsan
Lucullus found COW and ,go S|"OOa u ~
slain In the woods has beer ~ ~, Iel'
ned by a discovery made by ,D'e
forest ranger. NJ. Il. Westco,, ~ u
Run. during an inspection rr,n u. 81 81
his range. U'p o
Al point about two miles I'M G.
Kun MS attention was nttr,a,.' s'
the torn up condition of tbe >,eu "
leading to the edge of A steoa 10y
embankment. and a tran co',. W
very easily discerned in IN. o,a"
OF the embankmeut itself 10y 10y
that something or somebodv " wv
Ing in desperate struggle ~, 'Hs'
down over the embankmor, n, So
cott followed out his d,scors ""
ing that perhaps some luct,o,. ~. .e
fisherman had been attactaa
bear or a catamount and haa
death at the foot of the embapkms,
Westcott wasn't long finding
dence at the bottom of the sm,aa
ment to show what had tetsn nla
there. The ground was terribly ,a
up and go fresh that he conc,rd,
that the battle must have taken Mo-
that day. Great patches o, lor|
black animal hair to which in son,l
instances torn flesh adhered ve,l
found upon the ground.
The brush was disturbed for yard|
around. and splotches of blood van
found. The hair was evidently M,
of q black bear, and that the anma
had been attacked by panther ther
wasn't must doubt, for no other Gre,
ture native to the Pine Creek regio
would tackle a full grown black bea
IsThe attack had evidently started ,
the top of the ledge. for a subseoue,
examination showed the excoria,t
bark of tree from which the pan,h
evidently had made its initial lie,
upon the unsuspecting bear as the |;
ter passed beneath
The distance the fighting anims
rolled was about so feet and t
way the ground was torn up at t
foot of the bank showed the fight h
continued for some time
yEa.t10tt v,,oIa . 4hprnpgb gaa oh
a wide area of territory expecting
find the carcass Of the bear, but W
unable to do so, and he conolud
that bruin at last got the better
the fight and drove the panther off
The proved presence OF pant
in the Pine Greek and Black For
region has created the widest sort
interest among all the settlers
those parts. and the latest find sho
ing the desperation Of the creature
tackling a bear. has added to the N
ural trepidation. Samuel Lebo Of
cullus. a ranger whose district lies
the very heart OF the black bear col
try. and embraces some OF the vi
est territory OF any owned by
state. has equipped himself particul
ly for action II he comes In sight
the panther.
The theory is that II there is
panther there are more, so that O
| the vast stretch Of range through
McHenry and Brown townships
Lycoming county and in Gallas
township in Clinton county the CLOS
watch IL being kept for these dest
tive animals.
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
A Real PhIianthroplst.

A North side lumber dealer con-
tracted to supply lot OF lumber to q
stranger. On looking 1t over he found
ii full OF knotholes and told his Gus
toner about 1t frankly.
You may not want this lumber"
he said.
why not?"
Il want to be honest with you. It's
fun Of knotholes."
The stranger only laughed.
III take It," he declared. This
lumber is to go around some baseball
grounds. Knotholes won't hurt mat
,ers any. was \ kid myself once.
-Pittsburg Post.
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24

"A New York farmer visited . den
tist in one Of the upstate cities. to
be treated for an liberated tooth. The
dentist advised taking gas ~ 1t would
only make q difference Of 50 cents and
spare much pain. at the same time
showing his machine and explaining
its workings-how he would fall
asleep for q minute or two and then
would awake with tooth and pain
gone. At last the patient consented
and took out his wallet. 'Nevel
mind paying now" said the dentist
'I wasn't thinking Of paying" respond
ed the patient, but thought II l wal
going to sleep I'd like to count m,
money first"
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
He Had an Explanaslon.

A committee had the state senator
on the carpet.
Didn't you promise II We elected
you to get our country good roads"
Why. certainly. gentlemen"
Did you do IT."
mo. You see airships are getting
very common now, thought we'd bet.
ter wait few years. Maybe we won't
need my roads at all then. Fine
weather for corn: isn't it?''
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
Deserved prote.t.

A French newspaper refers to tba
members OF the stock exchange sing.
ing God shave the king" I'VE mu.t
protest against this total misrepresen.
tation OF our national aspirations !"
observes Punch,
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
Proar arsoa.

II 80 you devote . great deal Of
time explaining the exact operations
Of free trade and protection"
YES" replied Senator Sorghum, 81
have explained 1t so much that hon,
estly believe ! am beginning to under
stand It myself"
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
A Definition.

willie-Pa. Mr.. Jones and Mr.. Smith
and Mr.. Robinson are always talkins
about the H. p" Of their autos. What
does that meant
Pain Mr. Jones' case It means
high priced" in Mr.. Smiths hit peo.
pie" and In Mr. Robinson's. "half paid
for."-oat1re.
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
Nautical Distinctions.

How do you tell the difference BE-
tween . yacht and sailboat?" said
the girl with the inquiring mind.
by lookin' into the pantry" replied
Capt. elect ''If she carries plenty Of
refreshuents and seegars. she's q
yacht. II its mostly plain victuals
she's q sailboat."
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
A olor,eus Time.

How do you like your new 5ob!"
Great! I'm working In an antique
furniture factory"
What do you do1"
.Just what I've wanted to DO all my
life. kick the new tables. put my
feet ON them. spill hot coffee and burn
them with cigars and matches. put
each table through 100 years Of wear
In eight hours"
The Greeley tribune., 1912-10-24
R.A4E As-S~--

Mrs. Uptown-We're living in .
much better neishborhood now.
Mrs. Downtown-So are we.
Mrs. Up.own-Have you moved.
Mrs. Downtown-Ne: we're still liv.
ing ON the street you moved away
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1912-02-27
CONGRESS ENGAGED
IN ROUTINE WORK
Credentials of Senator-Elect
Vardaman of Mississippi Pre-
sented in Senate.
DISCUSSION ON TARIFF
Resolution in House Congrat-
ulating China on Becom-
ing a Republic.
BY international News Service.

BY international News Service.
WASHINGTON. Feb. Ex-senator
ovcrman OF North Carolina criticised
Commissioner OF Labor NELL for compar-
ing cotton mill operatives in the south
in the Atlanta penitentiary. In his report
OF conditions OF labor in the cotton mills
and Senator Cummins addressed the SEN
ate in favor Of a liberal pension policy.
A long discussion, which disressed into
talk about the tariff, followed the Intro
duction OF resolution by Senator Poin-
dexter 10 direct the department of com
mercc and labor 10 investigate certain
conditions In come ction with the Law
renee, Mass, strike. The resolution
went over until tomorrow.
Senator Williams presented the crcden-
tisls OF Senator elect James w. Narda-
man 81 Mississippi and the Page voca-
ton education bill WAS reported to the
senate.
Senator Cummins introduced bill IL
create an interstate freight rate commits
sion. TO consist Of three commissioners
with powers OF visitation. examination
investigation and publicity similar to
those OF the interstate commerce com
mission. He also introduced An anti
trust bill drawn by Edgar II. Farrar oi
New Orleans. formerly president OF Tho
American Bar association. This bill pre-
scribed the conditions upon which cor
porations may engage in interstate com
merce
Secretary OF the Navy Meyer appeared
before the naval committee of the house
10 urge the necessity Of two hattleships
year Unless this is done. he declared
the United States would be surpassed as
a naval power by Japan In 1913. lie
recommended an appropriation of $40,
600 600