The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1912-12-12

know Why he vas not at the bull j
fight or anywhere around the last ten4
days, .Awkins squatted on deck
chest and stamped down the tobacco
IN his pipe wiSh a horny hngeF. A. /
last. after the silence became almost
unbearable. .AwkIns slowly fixed US
with his eye and commenced
As you fellers know, I went ashore
to buy grub for the mess and spent
all the first day purchasing things
thought yoa would Ike for your deli
cate stomach. When that was over
kind Of thought would take hike
around town ike, outside the limits
1 must a travelled Win q hull set o
canvas spread. for after few hours
1 conslderedss 1 was about ten or
twelve mics beyond the outskirts OF
the baby berg. Thinking it was about
time for me to beat eF back TO Town,
wore around jus, in time TO get
swat over the top piece with be-
Toying pin which some land lubber
had eayed. Talk about stars, blarst
ma. butsIeseens maze tga1ts. then an
two seconds than ] seenztn Old Ions
don. all my life. When I come to p2e
nktnral senses q STsas blindfoldeds atteS
vSas being, carried. along in one OF
themsbloomin paIadin AFFAIRS IKE 3,
HIND al, prince. IJmanaged TO take.
things pretty easy like, exceptn. q
course, I couldn't smoke. 1 couldn't
hear a word spoken, but the most in
fernal sneezin' ever card in me
/ life. One of the blarsted hombres
would let out sneeze and would get
battery in return After about
couple of hours march they set me
down and, took the pad offe me eyes.
Blarst them. then began the greatest
noise 1 ever card. Talk about a
suRragette bunch raidin parliament,
il wasn't IN it. The people, funny
little devils, crowded around me-
sneezing right and left. l began to
wish 1 had brought me oil skins
They understood each other ali right
but to me, the b3oomin lingo resem-
bIed an old ladies' tea party, with TOO
much snuE. They locked me in the
calaboose. but F=soon got oH=friendly
terms with the head Jimmie Legs
and when 1 held up anything he would
name it with a sneeze. began to
get on to their frizzied talk and in
six or seven days. by tickling my
throat. could rip out some fairly good
sized words. One day the guard told
ne that the old shorter. the high
fa!utin Sking of the Sneezers was
called z4lcheek. and that .he-was go
ing to bold conclaye next day TO
decide nay fate They said it was all
up the spout for mine, and that had |
better say my prayers. 1 looked in
my clothes for some baccy, since l !
did not want to leave anything val !
liable for that Jot.. and found a pack
age OF. fine cut. I started TO take a /
chew when some of the bally stuff
got in my nose and let out a. yell.
kerchook. 1t was cayenne pepper /
had bought for. the mess. l started
with jump when remembered that
the, word .kerchook' meant pardon.
BY the great hornspoCu, just
larfed TO think OF the trick / would
play on the old Ripsnorter at the
trial. Soon I was carried before the
eor jury. They. wus setting
around in a circle, sneezin away untHl
their faces looked like them deb!l-
tated cheeses I'VE get IN them aago
countries. They sets me down in the
midst of them and .staTtS to arguing
right away could see they was
dead set. aginsr me-. Phe ssneezerzfor
the defense got up and made spme
arr .arted remarks in. some 'arf
smoothered sneezes as though e was
only dom his duty and would be glad i
TO be in Halifax. After some palav-
ering they started to take a roundup
of the sneezes to see If I was guilty
or not. Just as they got ready to re-
turn the verdict let loose the pep
per among them A deathly silence
prevailed among them for few mo-
ments. and then, with mighty blast. Z:
that sounded like abroadside OF 'leTen !.
inch guns, that judicial bunch let go 7
with mighty .kerchook. When the
trees had stopped trembling and the !
people had crawIed from beneath the :
ruins of their shacks found was
free. They kind OF took it as dis :
pensation of divine providence or
like that, and here am.
An awful silence reigned when
sAwkins concluded. which was not
broken until. recovering with a gasp.
one Of the small apprentice boys