davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-07-22
Giants Take Erst

Giants Take First.
Cincinnati, July 22.-New York won
the first game Of the series with Gin
cinnati mere today in an easy fashion.
Cincinnati used three pitchers, all be-
Ing hit hard and given poor support.
Wiltse for New York was driven from
the box in the first inning. CrandalI.
who succeeded him, pitched we'll.
Cincinnati 6 q a
New York ~ &
Benton. Davis, Keefe and Clark:
Wiltse, Crandall and Meyers.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-07-22
National League
Cards Take Game.

st. Louis. July 22.-Errors by the
in the third and fourth in
nings permitted the locals to defeat
Philadelphia, 3 to 0.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-07-22
RERIIN

Berlin-Wheat closes 3-8 lower.
Budapest-Wheat 7-8 higher.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-07-22
WORLDS SHIPMENTS.
INor16'c shin~op<o ~ 5.k.u

Wheat, last week, 1867, 900; prsyi.
GUS week. $4,000; last year, 1o,608,-
600; corn. last week. 6.735,00O; previ.
Gus week. ~6,S61,000; last year, 1874
900.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-07-22
Two for Chicago.

Two for Chicago.
Chicago. July 22.-Heavy batting
behind Leifield and Ruelbach gave
Chicago both games of the double
header against Brooklyn by scores of
s to 1 and II to 4 respectively. North
ems home run and the batting OF
Evers n Daubert featured the game.
First game r. H. E.
Chicago 6 II O
] 10 2
Leifield and Archer; Rucker and
Miller.
Second game r. Fl. p.
chicago ~ 0
....... I IL l
Ruelbach and Needham; Curtis.
knetzer, Kent and Erwin.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-07-22
LIVERPOOL MARKET.
CLOSED LOWER
United States Visible Wheat
Showed a Big Decrease
During the Week.

Minneapolis. July 22.-The Liver
pool market closed Ia lower than Sat-
I1PAav
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21

Uncle Andy Carnegie says II man
' can make money. Uncle Andy. by the
. a never wrote poetry for the maga-
zines.
Now that gum chewing is no longer
allowed in the LAY it is possible that
. in time the pink teas and bridge whist
contests will be eliminated.
A debating club in Kansas has de-
! cided that a bald man can't he Il hero.
This is Il terrible slap AT Richmond
Pearson Hobson.
1t has been suggested the colonel or
ganize a Saphira club. bu the colonel
Will not, for he is always a gentleman.
1t is some difficult to tell right now
whether Il statesman is Il progressive
standpatter or Il standpat progressive.
II is said a republican has been dis
covered in South Carolina. He is
probably q tourist.
The railroads have ordered 10000
new freight cars. h will be well
come news to the stranded theatrical
company that want to get back to
Broadway.
SO far as is known none of the presi-
dental candidates at the present time
| We're born in a; log cabin. The press
agents are overlooking Il bet.
~
OUR IDEALS.
OF nothing to eat-a charlotte
! rousse.
! OF nothing to wear-a fish net union
suit.
OF nothing to enter-an argument.
OF nothing to drinx-a boullion.
OF nothing to wipe OLA paper nap
kin.
OF nothing to talk about-grand
opera.
OF nothing to smoke-a cigaret.
OF nothing tn atnnt-Q fJJyZN noodle
OF nothing to read-a popular mag
azine story.
"yERITAs."
An old time friend is 'Veritas,'' who
grinds out daily stunts
OF comment for the public press, con-
tanning timely hints.
There are some others of his ilk, "Old
Reader Employee"
Also "TaXpayer.'' lone Who Knows
and good old tx. Y. H."
There's Liberty" and Justice and
there's working Girl and .'Rex.''
All ready to wage battles on affairs
that sorcly Nex.
But "Veritas' has got them all tut
distanced by q mile.
For while the others sometimes rest,
he's at it all the while.
Philosopher and scientist, essayist,
critic, wit,
Most versatile of men is he. There's
not a doubt of it.
Defender of the peoples rights with
saber ever peeled.
He does not specialize at all. the whole
world is his tield.
or course he's very seldom right and
nearly always wrong.
But life would lose Il lot of spice with
out his siren song.
For humor. unintentional. his like cans
not be found.
1t would be mighty lonesome with no
"Neritas" around.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21

confidence to her about how mail an
allowance Mrs. Muffin managed on.
Mrs. Muffin went out every day and
did her own marketing. it seemed. Jsa-
bel thought OF her own careless orders
over the telephone. Yes. she must give
more OF her attention to buying. Why
these two men knew moro about tho
cost of things thar she did herself.
Yet she felt herself to be as capable
and conscientious a housekeeper as any
woman of her acquaintance.
1T was not until after dinner when
Mrs. Muffin wheeled i'm Il cart with
the coffee bubbling i'm a ~percoiator, that
lsabeI's feminine vanity was soothed.
Wont o please serve the coffee.
Isabcl?' one of the hosts asked. ut
takes a woman to- give the right tone
to that sort OF thing. You know what
mean-the charm. the spirit of homo.
Doesn't it look great to see her fuss
ing with those cups and saucers::"
admiringly. o course Mrs. Muffin
makes us pretty comfortable here, but
it isn't like a real home
Indeed. it's not" said his friend.
Isabels read went up with a jerk.
You can't work that sympathy game
on me any more she announced. You
bachelors are all a pack of takers. You
have as much comfort-more-than the
average married man. The wives Of
your friends are misled into feeling
sorry rOr you and We make reSulaI
pets of you and we try to bring a lit
tie sunshine into your lives by invit-
ing You down to inner You get heaps
OF attention-and are completely
spoiled. When i hin that i used to
feel sorry for Henry Wysp when he
would write me how he was getting
along in the city and how much he
longed for a home ISABEL paused
and looked at Henry sitting in his old
chair before the fire putting a cigar.
We'll. I feel as If I had stolen him from
the lap of luxury. Let me give you
some more coffee. Ed"
"Thanks. by the way. Isabel. would
you mind sewing on n button for me?''
Clever Of you to think OF that. Ed,
but Henry says that Mrs. Muffin sews
on buttons better than amy one he ever
saw-and she never waits until they
fall off. I shall think just as much OK
you both as j ever did-but pity you
no."
ON the way home. as Isabel ravea
about the Jolly life that bachelors had
and that of all things she wished she
were one, Henry said: well. 1 feel
as the poet did about purple cows:
I'D rather see than be one Poor Dick
and Ed. We'll have to ask EN- down
soon"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21
N@N.TfiE.SPUR.
AF.THE.MowENT
w BY ROY K. MoUuToN.
CArGHr oN raE E1.,

ON THE FLY.
That New York actress who says
she hopes to marry before she dies.
better do it. then. if she expects to at
all. There's no chance %afterward.
"A ST. Paul man has won a prize
for embroidering a lunch cloth. No
wonder the women are Disguised and
are becoming suffra gets.
one French woman says she pre-
fers an aeroplane TO a husband. And
those French husbands, by the way,
are also high filters.
Nat Goodwin has recently Nhid $751;
900 to Il former wife. which recalls
the fact that q former wife is about
the most expensive kind of wife to
have.
Billie Burke is going TO write beauty
hlnts. As an actress. Billie is one of
the best beauty hinters in the country.
But ii will be noticed that the Rus
SIAN Cossacks are not slaughtering any
innocent Japanese these days.
y male suffragist threw a brass box
Lloyd-George. chancellor of England,
and broke his nose. A female suffra-
slst would not have hit him.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21

The fate of this here nation rests upon
what they ma do:
They're goin' to set the thing to
rights before they have got
through.
They're runnin' down each m and
they're follerin' each clew,
And not a day goes by but what they
dig up something new.
Looks like the farms around these
parts will raise a crop of weeds.
Bukuz our men have got to tend to
this here country's needs;
They keep On finding out new things
and strickfn' brand new leads.
And servin' of one country is the
grandest Of all deeds.
The wimmin' round these parts all
think it Is a doggone bore:
They've heard so much Of politics. thew
don't want any more.
But politics is pilin' up and arguments
galore,
1t makes a good excuse to loaf down
to the grocery store.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21
(5ign5 ofIn|
(OPring 4IS7

When the ash pile fills the cellar
Asd the tin cans fill the yard
When \ feller's sort of lazy
And .sie work comes mighty hard;
When the wife starts in to limiting
That house cleaning time is near,
And the thirsty start to banker
For the annual book beer;
When the ball teams git to starting
For the good old sunny south,
And the robin comes %a-hoppin'
With his breakfast in his mouth:
When the old sun starts to shinin'
Upon both sides of the street.
And the n~ewly-painted autos
Come out lookin. trim and neat:
When M %overcoats git heavy
And are hard to lug around,
And a Teller gifts to longin'
For a sight of real old ground:
When the canned goods all grow
tasteiess
And the pancakes grow passe.
And the good old soapstone griddlc
is hung up out of the way;
When the cider bar'l's empty
And he's auer kraut is ell gone
And a Teller starts 70 figgerin'
On new seed for his lawn:
When the Wife is planting gardens
And the tomcats start to sing,
1T is purity middlin' certain
That it's gettin' III to'ard spring.
DOWN TO THE GROCERY STORE.
lcxcitement's runnin' wild these DAYS
down to the gruc'ry store.
The patriots amt got no time to do "A
single chore.
They can't pay any attention to the
teamwork any more.
BekuZ they've got to make a choice
lWlxt Taft and Theodore.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21
81 80
=. Vl'Nl,

Spread the news from farm to farm,
Sound the tocsin of alarm.
Hide the omnipresent flagon.
Kaiser Bill is ON the wagon.
lis passe to get a jag on.
Lushing now has lost it's charm.
Clamp the lid upon the stein,
Social d%raughts you must decline.
Cut out schnapps. also Budweiser,
For the great discerning kaiser
Thinks it would be much wiser,
To drink water from the Rhine.
Will the hardy German chaps
to irrigate their maps
Just because their ruler RACES
De a custom known for ages;
Pastime of Teutonfc sages?
Certainly they will-perhaps.
CAUGHT ON THE FLY.
The Order of the Garter has beer
conferred pom Sir Edward Gray, of
England. Such a thing as that would
be almost useless in this country,
where some of the statesmen neve,
think of wearing socks.
A good many women their
husbands on the theatrical stage. but
a great many support them, off
by teaching school or m%anicuring.
The tallest Oma in the world
lives in Missouri. 1t isn't necessary
to show her. for h can look over the
heads OF the crowd and see for her.
self.
OF all the folks in the presidential
race, Joe Folk seems to have about
the slimmest chance at the present
time.
After all. p'raps George Washington
wasn't deservin' Of no great credit for
confessin' that he cut down that cherry
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21
x-Ray Truth.

kin Of Seeming. flesh OF Form.
Coating sleek and padding warm
Gossamerly gloomward glide;
Stark the structure verified
BY the searching Light, destroying
All that's vapid. false. and cloyine.
Lips-and ever eyes! may lie.
Yet we Know when Truth is by:
Something's traitor to Deceit
T~w!tching finger. tapping feet:
Look: The Searchlight probes. revealing
Bandiness from tOady kneeling.
No. 1t doesn't pay to lie.
Quaver-Voice and Shifty- Eye,
All you can achieve 10 dust
Blown against Life's granite Must:
Truth must triumph. Right prevail:
F'alsity must made and fail.
There's NO armor strong enough
TO repel this Light: nor stuff
C~iose-Erained. fine enough to hold
Captive in its ~smothering fold
Lancing. piercing Truth. The Soul
Skeletons and keys mans whole:
Have q care OF curvatures. then:
You can't forge Lies signatures. manf
-Florens Folsom IN March Naufiiaa.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21

wrong-or the running in and out to
see personally that everything was ALI
right" These self complacent hosts
seemed to take il for granted that
everything would be right.
The table itself looked charming. As
one course followed another, Isabel be-.
a to make mental notes for future
use. Her pride had. been shattered.
She devoted most of her time to houses
keeping and the Management of Sarah
and yet two helpless bachelors had
quite eclipsad her in giving Il dinner.
1t came out that this was the fifth
dinner they had given in n week.
doesn't Mrs. Muffin limit your en-
tcrtaining?' asked Isabel.
They looked at her in surprise.
why of course not. We could give
n every night if we wanted to-" said
Dick.
Isabel honcd Henry didn't hoar Ed,a
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21

SAY nothing Is impossible in this world
the Turkish navy seems to be.
One great fault of Naniman's dirigi-
bic seems TO be that it isn't.
New York papers say Vice Presi-
dent Sherman dimes in a Waldorf-As-
toria cafe and was not recognized. Mr..
sherman Was always a lucky man.
Henry James has written a new book
Which Will probably be understood and
greatly enjoyed by all the college pro-
fessors.
China's republic seems to be made
up OF about as many different elements
as her chop sueA.
Nobody kin look more innocent than
the Teller who hasn't paid his fare.
Between coo}lin' the meal and wash
in the dishes. the average woman sort
of loses her appetite.
Hank Purdy traded some land he had
in the river bottom to Deacon Frisby
for q bucNsaw and a squirrel rifle. h
original deal vas for 40 acres of land,
but Hank got a good deal of the best OF
near sighted and he can't read good and
When Hank made out the deed he made
it for so ceres, instead of 40. and all the
deacon will have to do from now on ~
to pay the taxes.
Amry Hicks. who has a great head
for figgers, has got it doped out that
every day in this country $4,000 acres
of timber is whitfield up in %sharpenin'
lead pencils Amry has also fingered
it out that if all the automobile tires
in this world We're hooked together
they would reach nine times around the
earth and leave room for a bow knot.
Amry's wife takes in washin'.
BY UNCLE EPH.
yo' feels you's gettin' mac
Go out in de shed
Stay dar till yo's feelin' glad,
Till yo' ire am dead.
Folks dom lax ma grouchy cuss.
Always stirrin' up a muss.
Feller who kin dodge a fuss
Am dat much ahead.
Keep yo' heart, now, good an wahm.
Yo' haid good and cool
And de friends will round you
Swahm-
Don't act like a mewl.
Speak no i'll of amy man.
Help de needy when YOU ram
Alive been Twin some time an
OATS NAH golden rule.
ON THE WAGON.
(According to the press dispatches.
Emperor William has condemned the
drinking OF beer and wines and is now
q teetOtaler.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21
Most Remarkable Prison in the worla.

Most Remarkable Prison in the World.
When the authorities of Graham
From the Wide World Magazine.
county. Arizona. decided to look about
for "A place in which TO confine crim1-
nails, they found a natural depression
in the side of a hill. This was enlarged
into what might be called an artificial
The cave was ~eXcavated parallel to the
side of the mountain in which 1t was
made. and daylight admitted by holes
blown out Of the wall with explosives,
the windows being guarded by a net
work of heavy steel bars. The entrance
to the depression was also closed in the
same manner and a vestibule or porch
of masonry built out from it to provide
quarters for the sheriff and his assist
ants. This vestibule is also divided
into compartments, which are con-
nected by gates of steel bars. The
only way of entering the prison is
through the vestibule Of masonry. and
IN order to escape the Inmates would
have to cut their way through three
let's of bars which are an inch In
above the rock forming the floor of
the cells that they could not reach
them. 1t is necessary. however. to
have q very secure place. as the
criminals in this part of the country
are Of a most desperate class, and
the inmates frequently include muir
aerers and ~highwaymen. The noun
tain which has thus been turned into
a prison is composed Of solid quartz
rock, and the excavation was made
principally by the use Of explosives.
rhe Jail is located in the town OF
Clifton. the county seat.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21
FROM THE ~HICKEYVILLE.
CLARION

There is Il new 1S-hOur train on u
railroads. hours late.
Miss Pansy Nudge heard a scandal
the other day and promised not to tell
It to a single sould and she didn't. She
told it to q married person.
On New Years day Lem I'risby took
a pledge that he wouldn't drink amy
more and he doesn't. He drink just
as much. however.
No matter what comes up fer con-
sideration in our town, it seems aus
though the Ticker interests are always
agin' it.
Mrs. Ann Purdy. the teacher of our
smart set, says she doesn't know what
kind of q machine she will drive this
season. Mrs. Lem Frisby will drive a
SEWN machine, as usual.
There is a whole lot of good cabi-
net material goin' to waste around the
stove in Hiliker's general store and
somebody should put Taft next.
Undertaken Hanks SAYS he is doing
his spring planting and business is
rushing.
Tage Butts tried to initiate an oat-
mobile and crank UP his old mule the
other day by twistin' her tail. When
last seen. Tage was sailin' through the
roof of the barn.
There are other things that e to-
ward longevity just as much as the
act OF scorchin' around a one-mile
track in one minte.
Anse Purdy says his new 1918 mo-
del oatmobile is already five years be-
hind style.
What has become of the old fash
toned dude who waxed the ends of
his mustache and curled his front hair
up over his finger:
MELoDRAMA.
She struggled vainly to arrest
mr. r,s11oinsc N,o,O0ofrV0 hand
He dragged her round and round the
stage.
And cussed to beat the band.
Said he: Your lover is a chump.
Your brother is a thief
Your father stole a boss n time
And druv your ma to grief.
s.Unhand me. villain" hen she cried,
"Or you will rue this day.
I'll scream for help" She done it,
too.
But no help came that way.e
s'You love mhh." cried the villain. al
He grabbed her by the hair
"'Tis false" she cried. In anguish wild
And wRted DER her chair.
"'Tis false" she screamed. IT'S
false" again.
"As false as false can be-"
He found three switches In his hands
slt surely u.s." said. he.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21
A Boys Essay On Cats.
From the Rants Horn

from the Rams Horn.
\ school boy wrote an essay on cats.
Inc chapter On different breeds sup
plies the following information:
Cats that's mad for little boys and
girls to maui and tease is called Mall
tese cats. Some cats is known by their
queer p~urrs-there are called Pursian
cats. Cats with bad te,npcrs is called
Angorrie cats. Cats with deep feelin's
is called Feline cats"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21

yacht and proud seaside chateau.
He travels in a private car wherever
he may go.
His fortune now is reckoned at 5000, 900
plunkS or so.
He doesn't shoe mules any more, or
mend the n horse shay.
He makes more in q second now than
ono he did all day.
He merely thinkers touring cars that
pass along his way.
THE SPELLBlNDER.
His voice is gently pleading as to
And epigrams roll blithely from his
tongue,
He tells some merry stories OF his
own,
That Henry VIII enjoyed when he
was young;
The opposition's arguments he chokes,
The rival candidate he loves to
whack
BY handling out side-splitting quips
and jokes
From Doc Hostetter's Family AL
His argument is terse and to the
point,
He asks: Why does a chicken cross
His hearers laugh themselves all out
OF joint, ,
And say he Won a victory complete.
His first jokes makes the enemy look
sick,
His second starts the foe upon the
His third joke sends them going dou-
ble-q.licz,
His fourth n sees the party's bat
"How will the trusts be wiped out
from the map?
III tell YOU Then q joke comes
without fail,
<You ask me how about the uoxious
Jap?"
Its this way" then he tells another
t'Wben will we fix the tariff Ah.'
says he.
CHATS easy. Listen we'll and YOU
shall hear"
He tells q funny story. then with glee,
One that we heard in vaudeville last
year.
Ee works up to his climax swift and
And roops his fevered brow and
swings his arms
This nightly nations certain to en-
lure
Throughout the ages. free from ills
and HARM
The audience hen gives a rousing
cheer.
The band plays and the people leave
the hall.
On what they've heard they're not ex-
actly clear.
But twas a rafting good speech
after all.
The orator winks secretly a wink,
And says unto himself in bed at
night:
''I'm not exactly certain, but 1 hin
l struck that bunch OF patriots. all
right"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21
according to|
[ Uncle Abner

DIR. Wiley says
good cooking IS
The best cure for
the divorce evil.
But the lawyers
c O " | d cook UP
something to offset
that.
A scientist says
insects have rea-
soning power. Ger
tainly. The moths
know right where
to tackle a dress
suit.
Although t h e v
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21

tree with his Ratchet, for hatchets IN
those days were scarce, and George
had the only one i'm the state of Vir-
ginia. There was'a preponderance Of
evidence a'gin him all the time.
But 1t takes a purity persistent sort
of microbe to hang on a roller towel
when it Is bein' whirled around In a
huttel by a peevish travelin' man.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21
Copyright, 1911, by North American Press
SYndicatel

THE VILLAGE
BLACKSMITH.
Under the spread
ing chestnut tree,
the village smithy
stands
The smith a mighty
man is he, with
large and sinewy
hands.
ae owns a dozen
village iots and.
handsome coun-
try lands.
He owns a hand
come n q q
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21

can make money. Uncle Andy, by the
way. never wrote poetry for the maga-
zines,
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-21

(According to the press dispatches.
Emperor William has condemned the
drinking OF beer and wines and is now
n teptOt1ler
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1912-10-24
BEWARE OF MALARIA.

Malaria-Chills and Feyers-comnon
complaints among people living in the
Southeastern States, can be effectively re-
lieved in the shortest possible time by
r. L. T.-RichardsOn's Laxative Tonic
This prescription has been used thirty
five years by DR.. Richardson, of Anderson,
s. c., N his daily practice as family
physician, and has behind it thousands Of
testr lonials from many prominent South
Carclinians and citizens of other neighbor-
ing states. r. L. T. is q wonderful cor
rector of liver troubles and the greatest
tonic on the market today. You can abso-
lutely rely on it in any case Of chills and
fever or melarial poison, constipation OK
biliousnesS.
If any member of your family Geed a
tonic that strengthens and builds, go to
your druggist today and get a ffty-cent or
a dollar bottle of r. L. T., and watch the
quick, steady improvement. If your drug
gist can't supply you write r. L. 7. Co.,
Anderson, s. G.