The Washington herald., 1912-07-26
MODERN TIMES. TEND TO
PROMOTE LOVE MATCHES
In These Days of Woman's Earning Capacity
One Has No Excuse to Adpance for a Mar
riage for Which Love is Not the Factor
By FRANCES sHAFFER.

| II is quite personal and q bit imperti-
tent, yet a question often asked the bach
elor-woman:
| Why don't you marry?
/ 1t looks very sharp and insistent In
print, but sounds far more pointed when
driven home by. some one who expects an
answer and awaits 1t with all the assur-
ance born Of curiosity. at worst, semi
interest. at best.
And sometimes the soundings 90 rather
deeper and the question comes:
But you are essentially one OF the
'home-loving hearts" and home is not
half home when the man-element is miss
ins-why do you subscribe to single bless
edness?
Don't you believe that men. as they
run. are pretty loyal family-centered.
and true?
Don't you learn. the longer you live,
that family life, husband. children. and
all the storm and stress, the happiness
and the SORROWS shared by the fireside.
are the only things that make life worth
| living?
And-are you satisfied
Free to Follow Her Judgment.
OF course no woman ever makes an
| swer except in a general way, because
there is always the bias Of the purely
personal; and the personal reason Is pref
ty certain to be kept under cover during
| the inQuisition.
Equally of course, the greatest Of all
general reasons is found in the economic
independence that has helped to make
woman free to follow the promptings Of
judgment and heart at the same time.
And some of us believe that IN that free
dom to wait, for years or forever. as II
happens, it is not only woman who has
been the gamer. but the institution Of
marriage as well.
There always has been and probably
there always will be the marriage in
which the questions of money and sup
port loom very large and supreme. with
love scarcely an incident. In earlier
times. when marriage was the one great
port OF womans financial safety, It was
pathetic, but quite excusable for a wom-
an to accept the first opportunity that
came, IL It promised support. But in
these freer days Of womans earning Ca
pacity, one has no excuse TO advance
dominant factor.
And IL the greater economic freedom
has widened woman's life horizon and
has elevated marriage itself. as some
times worked out. from the mercenary
to a nearer approach to the ideal. 1t has
also saved more than one man from a
life obligation in which there was moth
ing more vital than duty as the wife's
guiding star.
Among other things learned as We move
along there is the knowledge that most
of women, and men, too, take marriage
rather for granted, and they set things
in order for the coming event They
know not when nor where. ask not
whom nor how. but their creed IL some
day." and 1t generally comes. One can
not say that 1t is not the great scheme
of life that every man should seek his
mate and every woman find her happi-
ness as wife and mother; but there Is a
fringe Of women to whom marriage Is
not the expected way Of life. who look
upon it as rather remote, only coming
as certain ideals and realities meet
Intended for Home Life.
II they happen 10 meet tomorrow. the
day after, or never, the fact generally
remains pretty much the same
They believe that home, as tho Maker
of US all evidently intended 1t to be con-
stituted. is where woman finds her very
best happiness. and that where father,
mother and wee ones are gathered in
love and contentment. there are found
the manifestations Of ideals that every
normal woman dreams Of.
They believe that in the individual men
the individual woman sees the embodi-
ment Of loyalty and love, and. in more
general way, they know that men are,
as some one put 1t recently. "a pretty
constant earnest lot Of fellows" quite
worthy Of all the respect and love that
woman has to give.
And they feel quite sure that the near
est approach to complete satisfaction
with life that comes to men and women
in this many-sided world is more likely
to be found in the love that radiates
throughout the family circle from top
right down than In any other relation
ship.
Not Satisfied with Makeshffts.s
They know all that. know II well; but
don't you suppose 1t is Just because they
know It so well that they are not salts
fed with anything that falls short of
what in their mind. constitutes the max
ing of that happiness?
It may be- as one OF the inQtnsitors
put il recently, that some women remain
welded just TO ideals. and that in their
fatuous insistence they miss the things
that count heaviest of all in any wom-
ans life.
But-weil, the individual woman is the
only one who can make true answer to
these questions as they come to her;
and the individual woman knows that
perfect. lasting happiness is not found