davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-12-14

S3T was late in the afternoon
OF the day before Christ
mas. The library read
~ ing room was almost de-
ESszl1zsA serted! Jane had replaced
the last popular fiction
books that had accumulated on the
Librarians desk, had put away the
stray magazines that had been left
on the tables, adjusted her date
stamp and stood looking out Of the
window before venturing out into
the steady pour Of drizzling rain.
Finally hurrying into the busy
street she unused: "It certainly is
hard enough to be immersed in the
worst case Of blues that was ever
known on sea or land on a Christ
mas evening. without having the
elements to contend with besides.
Although for weeks I've been dread
ing this Christmas day, I had firmly
made up my mind to keep up my
courage and not indulge in self pity,
but here I am at the first sign of
twilight all ready for a good old
fashioned CRY. These holidays are
all right fer happy people, bat they
were never meant for depressed
spirits. If I had the remodeling of
this world, my first official act would
be to abolish the holiday season"
AS Jane trudged along in the rain
a great gust Of wind blew OF her
hat. She ran, but before she was
able to reach it a man caught it
and. handing it to her, exclaimed in
surprise:
"of all things! It it isn't Jane!
That little bonnet seemed to have
a sort of well-know1 individuality
about it when I saved it for you
srom a watery grave"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-12-14

The governor makes the unqualified
statement to the effect that he cannot
approve of the new Phoenix charter be-
cause it conflicts with the constitution
in permitting the commission to lease
public utilities, such as the waterworks
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-12-14
Copyright 1912, BY I. J. Robinson

yIlBnL Lslzl Dy = J. hODlusOu
yS3T was late in the afternoon
OF the day before Christ
mas. The library read
q ing room was almost de-
. serted! Jane had replaced
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-12-14

a skin OF Beeuy Is a JOY Forevos.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-12-14
Special Note

All prices are marked In plain figures
and there is no departure from the
marked price, because we have made
the first price the right price.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01
THIS MEANS YOU!

Hello, Comrades, how do YOU,
like this issue Of The Fool Killer
Read every word of it carefully,
and if you think it is tolerable.
good medicine, please get all your
friends and neighbOrs to try a
years treatment.
/ want every Socialist in Amer
lea to subscribe for The Fool
Killer right at once, and | believe,
they will as soon as they see it.
Let me send bundle Of samples
to the secretary of your Local and
give all the comrades a chance to.
subscribe. And then let every
subscriber get busy and send in
other subscriptions. We are go
ing to cover the earth with Fool
Killers as the waters cover the
sea. This paper is nearly three
years old, and it has already be-
come famous all over the United
States. The great masses of the
common people love it, because it.
is fighting their battles, while
the plutes, big bugs, grafters and
grand rascals hate it worse than
the devil hates Sunday School.
Now then, comrades, the paper
is before you. If you like it, please
show your appreciation by send.
ing i'm a big club at once.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

And now Taft, Ted and Wood
pile are going to have a lovely
three-cornered dog fight over the
Catholic vote. Whichever way
the pope Of Rome points his old
skinny finger, that way the cleo
tion will go. And yet some people
are such fools as to believe that
Romanism is not in politics. Aw,
scat! Look at Belgium. The two
political parties in that country
are the Roman Catholics and the
Socialists. The day is coming
when the same political align
ments will prevail in this country.
Mark the prediction.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

When the political pot began
to boil over and mess up things,
my first impulse was to crawl up
on the fence and await develop
ments. But, 10 and behold, when
/ stuck my chin over the top rail
I found The Yellow Jacket and
The Lash complacently roosting
there. And SO | got ashamed of
myself and crawled down on the
Socialist side Of the fence.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01
Let Us Talk 1t
Over

Well, dear sinner friends, this is
The Fool-Killer.
How does it set on your stomach?
If you like it, you can get more at
headquarters.
The Fool-Kif1er is not even a forty
'leventh cousin to any other paper on
earth.
1t stands in a class by itself. and
! Its field is as broad as the English
language.
This paper wears no bell, muzzle,
collar nor halter.
You can put that down to start with.
I am the fellow who works at the
pump-handle on this pungent period
ical of thrilling thought. I print only
: what write; I write only what
think; and I think what I doggon
please.
I own this entire establishment,
and Rockefeller isn't rich enough to
buy one share of it.
Does tnat SOun0 strange!
Well, bless your soul, am great
deal richer than old John.
never travelled any to speak of,
but l have read great deal, and have
thunk some
I have also writ few books which
I know are great, because they don't
sell worth cent.
Great books never do.
And then I started The Fool-Killer,
just to quiet my nerves and keep the
old press from getting rusty.
From the seclusion of these wooded
hills there will go forth each month
a bundle of literary dynamite that
will shake the rotten foundations OF
society and cause the Church of Nam
mon to at least turn over in it's sleep
The Fool-Killer will be monthly
mustard-p plaster for the blood-boils OF
Society, Church and State.
1t will be salted with wit, peppered
with humor and seasoned with sar-
casm.
Every line will cut like whip and
every word will raise blister.
If you are fool you had better not
subscribe for The Fool-Killer. II
you are wise you wilL And SO that
settles 1t.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

When a Christian Scientist gets
hungry, / wonder if he can fill his
belly by just thinking" he has
got something to eat? Sure thing,
that would knock an ugly hole in
this high cost of living' busi-
ness.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

These plute papers that think
Socialism will be the death blow
to inventive genius are probably
ignorant Of the fact that Thomas.
A. Edison is red-hot Socialist.
Do you reckon the greatest in
ventor of all the ages is fool
enough to advocate a system that
would cut his own throat? Huh?
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

Some of my friends have urged
me to join the.new Roosevelt par
ty. No, thank you. If / am 60
ing to be a Socialist | might as
well join the genuine and not the
counterfeit. Roosevelt is a Social
ist> and don't know it, and his new
party is only a flag station for the
great army that is headed toward
Socialism. Let 'em stop at Teddy
vile for awhile. They will soon
move on, and the next stop will
be Socialist Headquarters. Guess
III just run on ahead to the So
cialist camp and tell 'em that
Teddy and his crowd are a-comin'. >
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

Every man who votes for Big
Smile next November ought to
have his brains pumped out thru
the holler of a gnat's bristle and
the hole filled up with mustard
seed.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

All, the country is the place for
genuine and unostentatious love.
Eyen the toads look into each 9TH
er's broad sweep of pouting mouth
and sweet blue lips and coyly play
with the seed warts on each 9TH
er's back, like a sweet young girl
of 20 patting a millionaire of 70
on the largest wart growing on
his bald pate. A toad's courtship
is a hopping good time, from the
toad's view of it, and they enjoy
life in a swamp or a mud puddle
far better than the people of Cap
itol Hill enjoy their fine houses
and social scandals.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

I might have slobbered over
the new political baby, called it
pet names and boughtit a calico
dress, if old Standard Oil Har-
vester Trust Perkins hadn't been
the granny.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

The farmers are advised to
raise more mules, but I don't
understand how they'll do it
with all the jackasses in Con-
gress.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

If you want to read some of
the richest burlesque and keen
est satire you ever saw, just
keep a skinned eye on The Fool
Killer.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

That doleful wailing you hear
is the new political baby crying
for its ninny. Peor little Pro
gressive! His nanny is dead,
and l guess he will have to be
raised on the bottle.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

What has become of poor old
Dick Maple? The last / heard Of
him he was trying to nurse at the
breast of Christian Science.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

Greed has commercialized So
ciety, mammonized the church
and devilized politics. Everything
is run by rich rascals who steal
their money from the poor and
who have no more religion or prin-
ciple than a hound dog.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

After November Taft wouldn't
bring five cents a pound for soap
grease.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

Some of these-here fellers that
have graduated in fy-ology are
now giving out figures to show
that one ordinary female house
fly will lay 20, OO0'eggs in a season.
Now if Burbank will go to work
and cross the house fly with the
harnyard hen golly, wouldn't
that be the truck?
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

This presidential campaign is
going to look like "a man with
seventeen legs trying to put on
his breeches.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

Chicago had it's Roosevelt, Bal
timore it's Bryan, and now the
devil is out trying to swap hosses
with himself.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

There's a few bones in Social
ism that I can't swaller, but
yum-yum how good the meat is!
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

They wouldn' let Ted set on
the Republican nest, and so he
went off and made him a nest OF
his own and stole some Socialist
eggs to put in it. Cluck, cluck!
Cheep, cheep! And what will the
harvest be?
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

Scientific salesmanship' is
the gentle art Of selling man
something he don't want, and
don't need, and, as a rule, can't
afford. No salesman is needed to
sell a man something that he
wants.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01
TAKE NOTICE!

TAKE NOTICE!
Do not send postage stamps on sub
scription.
Remittances should be made by
registered letter, express or postoffice
money order.
Be careful to write your own name
and address plainly, and direct all
letters and make all orders payable
to:
THE FOOL.KILLER.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

No able-bodied man has any
right to more than he earns and
none should receive a cent less.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

Entered as second class matter
March 80, 1910, at the postof1ce at
Moravian Falls, N. c., under the act
of March 8, 1879.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

A girl who did not lack for beaux
Assumed quite an indignant peaux
And cried: What's this!
Some one stole a kiss,
And it happened right under my
neaux.''
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

One year to your heart, 25 Gents.
In Clubs of Five or More, Is Cents.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01
EDITORIALS.

EDITORIALS.
G. @. P. now stands for Gone
Off Petered.
Say, honey, why don't you
start you a party?
Labor produces wealth and
laziness walters in it.
A woman with breeches on is
a pantaloonatic, I reckon.
The big bugs use the straddlez
bugs to humbug the doodlebugs.
Woodpile Wilson thinks he can
cuss his way into the White
House.
Gee! But I'm glad I got off of
the old Republican ship before
she hit the iceberg.
Golly! It must give feller an
alfred 'kuris'' feelin' to be a
Republican these days.
No able-bodied man has any
right to more than he earns and
none should receive a cent less.
There's a few bones in Social
ism that / can't swaller, but
yum-yum how good the meat is!
Chicago had it's Roosevelt, Bal
timore it's Bryan, and now the
devil is out trying to swap hosses
with himself.
This presidential campaign is
going to look like "a man with
seventeen legs trying to put on
his breeches.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

Golly! It must give a feller an
ALFRED ''kuris'' feelin' to be a
Republican these days.
The fool-killer., 1912-07-01

The big-bugs use the straddle-
bugs to humbug the doodlebugs.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-15
NoTRE DAME BANQUET TONIGHT
Ball Players VIII he Guests of
Warrington Alumni.

The Washington alumni Of the Uni
versity Of Notre Dame have completed
arrangements for banquet to the Notre
Dame baseball team, which is to play
Georgetown and the Catholic University
teams to-day and tomorrow. The ban
quet will be held at Rauscher's this
evening when 100 alumni will be present
The president of the university, the
Very Rev. John Cavsnaugh, who is now
in New York City, has been invited to
attend. Elmer Murphy, 81, will act as
POSTMASTER and the speakers will be
President Cavanaugh, Senator Shively Of
Indiana, DR.. Maurice Francis Egan,
United States Minister to Denmark: Dr..
Hannis Taylor, former United States
Minister to Spain; Representatives Barn
hart and Korbly OF Indiana: DIR. Charles
p. NeilI, United States Commissioner of
Labor; DIR. Edward A. Pace, of the
Catholic University; Very Rev. James A.
Burns, rector Of Holy Cross College,
Brooklsnd; George Griswold Hill, chief
Of the New York Tribune Bureau; Revs.
Eugene P. Burke and Joseph A. Quin-
Ian, Of Catholic UniversIty( and Man
ager Murphy, of the baseball team.
The committee in charge Of the ban
The Washington herald., 1912-05-15
Milady's Toilet Table
By Nine. D'MILLE

''The easiest way to preserve and re-
store youthful complexion is to lightly
massage the face. neck and arms with a
solution made by dissolving an original
package Of mayatohe in eight ounces OF
witch hazel. No powder is necessary.
for mayatone prevents that shiny look
and keeps the skin soft, satiny and
altogether lovely.
'sThe hair can be kept light and fluffy,
and beautifully lustrous, by dry sham
pooling. Mix four ounces OF powdered
orris root with an original package OF
therox, sprinkle a little on the head and
brush thoroughly through the hair. II
anything will make the hair grow.
therox will
Nothing is more humiliating to a
woman than hair on her face. Wild
hairs can be quickly and safely removed
by applying delatone paste. Mix enough
powdered delatone with water to cover
the hairs; leave on for two minutes.
then wipe on. wash the skin and the
hairs will be gone.
Many suffer now from tired. sore,
swollen OF aching feet Nothing will
give quicker relief than Mothers Salve.
II Is easy to use. quick to act. and re-
lieves pain In any part Of the. body
headache. backaehe or sore muscles"
The Washington herald., 1912-05-15
ESTATE GOES TO WIDOW.
Andrew Veissman BequeRths All
His Property to Wife.

Andrew Veissman Bequeaths All
His Property to Wife.
The will Of Andrea Veissman. dated
April Is last. and fled for probate yes
terday, gives his wife, Louisa W. Weiss
mann, the life use OF his estate during
her widowhood, and provides that in
the event Of her death or remarriage the
estate shall go to his son, Lawrence
Neissman. The estate consists prin-
cipalIy of saloon at on H Street North
west
BY the terms OF the will Of Harry N
Robey, dated May s, 1870 a policy Of in
surance for 1900 is left to his sister,
Sara J. Rippon. No other provision is
contained in the will.
The will OF Susan P. Preston. dated
June 2, 1910. provides that 81 900 be given
10 her sister, Mary n. Shafer, and 500
to Marie P. Pratt. The remaining es-
tate is to be divided into three shares,
one for Mary n. Shafer, for the children
OF Maria G. Gwynne. and one for Will
lam H Mcknight Jesse W. Proctor is
named as executor.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-15
TRIBUTE TO TITANIC DEAD.
Resolutions of Col. Petit Camp to
BE Sent to President.

At meeting last night Of the Col.
James S. Petit Camp, No. 3. United
Spanish War Veterans, resolutions Or
dered drawn up at a previous meeting
were read.
Glowing tributes to the memories OF
Col John Jacob AStor, Mai. Archibald
W. Butt, and o. A. Woody, a mail clerk.
were contained in the resolutions, which
were not confined to the heroic acts of
these Spanish War Veterans in the IT,
tsnic disaster, but also to the crew and
men of the passenger list who showed
heroism during the disaster.
The resolutions were ordered sent to
the President of the United States and
to the families of the veterans named
The members OF the resolution committee
were Samuel G. Mawson, Robert l..
Longstreet, and William W. Fentress.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-15
K. OF C. PLANS BIG BANQUET.
Convention Hall to BE Scene OF
Feast on June =.

The committee in charge of the pub
lie banquet to be held Saturday even
ing. June s. in celebration of the un-
yelling of the memorial to Columbus,
reports splendid progress in the plans
for that function. Reservations have
been received from prominent men,
not only of the National Capital, but Of
the country at large.
This banquet to be held at Conven-
tion Hall Is expected to be the largest
ever given in Washington. A wonder
full decorative scheme has been out
lined and will be carried out by we'll
known local florists and decorators.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-15
quet arrangements is composed Of
James d. Barry, Francis X Gull, and
Francis J. Kilkenny
RUSSIAN BOYCOTT GROWS.
Resentment Against United States
Strong in CEar'a Empire.

The movement in Russia to boycott
American goods because Of resentment
over the abrogation by the United States
Of the treaty OF 1882 is by no means dying
out, according to dispatches received at
the State Department yesterday.
John H. Snodgrass, United States con-
sui general at-Moscow, cabled that at
special meeting of the Assembly Of the
province Of Rursk, Il was decided to Join
the boycott against American agricul-
tural machinery. This particular phase
Of the movement was initiated by the
provincial assembly at Kherson. The
Assembly at Rursk also agreed to ar
range with other provincial bodies to Join
the general movement in protest against
the action of the United States in de-
nouncing the treaty.
Agents for the Kursk stores for the
supply Of agricultural machinery to
peasants have already been asked TO pur-
chase no supplies from the United States
Prospective BrideErOOmH should Phone
Downey's Stables, 1870 L St., for carriages
The Washington herald., 1912-05-15

The Attorney General and Mrs. Wicker
sham entertained at dinner last evening
IN honor Of the japanese AmbassrdeS end
Viscountess Chinda. The other guests
were the Peruvian Minister and Nine de
Pezet. the Secretary OF Commerce and
Labor and Mrs. Nagel, the Panama Min
ister, Senior Arias; the Military Attache
Of the French Embassy and Countess
! de Chambrum, the Chief Of Stan of the
Army and Mrs. Leonard Wood, Mr.. and
Mrs Henry White. Count andN Countess
Ogasawara, Nine. Nagasaki, Miss Mabel
Boardman, and Gen. Crozier.
Mrs. wickersham entertained a small
company at luncheon yesterday at the
Manor. Randle Highlands.
The Misses Patten entertained His EN-
inence James Cardinal Gibbons at dinner
last evening in their Massachusetts, Ave
nue. home.
viscountess d'Azy, wife Of the naval at
tache of the French Embassy. was
hostess at a small tea yesterday after
noon at the Manor, when covers were
laid for twelve. Il
The marriage Of Miss Eleanor Ander-
son to Ensign Rush southgate Fay,
Il
home of the brides parents Medical
Director and Mrs Frank Anderson.
U. S. N, instead Of at St Thomas
Church, as formerly planned. Only a.
small family gathering was present at
the ceremony. which took place at s.
o'clock, Rev c. Ernest Smith, rector Of
St. Thomas Church. officlating. A small
reception followed. Miss Dorothy An
derson was her sisters maid Of honor.
and Miss Gay Lloyd. Of New York. and
Miss Harriet Bayne acted as brides
maids Capt. W. G. Fay, u. S. NJ. c..
brother of the bridegroom, was best
Meade OF the u. 8. S. Connecticut, and
Ensign v. o. Mills, of the U. 8. g.
Utah.
The house was tastefully decorated
with white blossoms, trailing vines,
palms and ferns, in a color scheme Of
white and green. The bride wore an
exquisite costume OF white satin and
point lace, the latter worn by her mother
on her own wedding gown. The upper
part of the bodice was entirely Of the
lace over tulle, and II was draped
around and over the train and held with
orange blossoms. Her tulle veil was also
held with orange blossoms. and she car
ried a shower bouquet OF lilies Of the
valley. Her maid Of honor wore white
satin with green chiffon, arranged in a
tunic effect. and the bridesmaids wore
green chiffon cloth over, green. They
all carried pink sweet peas. After the
supper, when the bride cut the cake
with the bridegroom'E sword. they left
for a wedding trip, the bride wearing q
becoming suit OF gray Bedford cord,
with hat to match. Among the out-of-
town guests. who formed quite COM
pany In themselves, were Mr.. and Mrs.
VaIlient. OF Baltimore; Mr.. and Mrs.
Henry, OF Brooklyn, and Mr.. and Mrs.
W. A. Henry. OF Columbus, Ohio.
The baseball game between the Metro
politan and Chevy Chase clubs, which
is one OF the most important social
events OF the season and which is
played annually for the beneft OF the
free wards Of Providence Hospital. has
been arranged this year for Saturday
afternoon, June 1. at American League
Park. Some Of those who have already |
taken boxes are Mr.. and Mrs. John r.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-15
Blues to Entertain Reds.

The First Baptist c. E. Blue Team"
Miss Sadie Yeatnan Lynn, captain. will
give a reception and entertainment to
the members of the Red Team" at
o'clock tits evening, at the church.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-15
Woodward & Lothrop.
New York-wAsHNGIoN-Pari.
Protect Your Home and Possessions
From Moths, Pests, and Insects.

Every precauon should taken abolition of the
Inconvenience and dangers wrought % these pests
concevaby small in comparison with the comfort and protection
derived
CEDAR CHESTS-There is not more effective storage
lasting odor which is dsied by all clothing insects Some
plain; others trimmed with brass and many of the interiors
have sliding trays.
$4OO to $3.50 each
WAYNE CEDARED MOTH BAGS-Made of a tough,
sanitary and dustproof paper that will last indefinitely These
and also for blankets Sedeohes &c They are fitted with hang
and of sufficient size TO- let anything placed within them
hang free and without wrnking and forcing into unsapeness
SOC to $1.5O
MOTH MATERIALS-Preparatons that have gained
strong and favorable reputation for efficiency and va
lines whose excellence well acquainted with and
thoroughly recommend
osRss bs iss :'9PGn Uss . '. nsA.
Compound. inches %
Moth 9a Dc.s e each and iS iS
ADJUSTABLE ALL-METAL WINDOW SCREENS-By
actual test and service these Aa Window Screens have been
declared by be the best Readymade Window Screens
the market Sizes all windows of the average dwelling
30c, 40c, 45c, 50c and 55c each.
SCREEN DOORS-High-grade hardwood frames
nhed natural nsh shown plain and fancy designs and
securely constructed The wire is of high quality, inserted in
the frames in manner that is lastng complete with fixtures
Six sizes.
SIPS. $2.25. and $500 each.
CUSTOM-MADE SCREENS for windows and doors-An
wire used is guaranteed rustess In fact the wire the wood
frames the fixtures the construction quality of
Screens throughout have superior They will warp swell
STICK bnd-nany will do this in damp weaher-he
sag bulge in the frames We making
ceponay quick delivery immediate orders Estimates free
MOSQUITO NETTING-Superfne Mosquito Netting:
strong substantial weave of close mesh in white green and
black S-4 wide yards to the piece
90c piece.
Vudor Porch Shades.
The Porch Shade has nddua-n appearance and in
1t admits plenty of fresh air. permits you see
excludes and the of those without porch is
COOL comfortable secluded living with Vudor
Porch nclosing it. They extremely light weight
and very durable
Shown in green, complete for hanging
AXIS $225l SKIS ft...........S425 #.
6x7S f............ So % IlOx7s ft.........S560I 30
WOODWARD & LOTHROP.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-15

Mr. and Mrs. Myron NJ. Parker will
entertain at a musicale next Tuesday
evening at their residence in Vermont
Avenue. Miss Ruth Parker. who Is
spending a few days in Baltimore, will
return to Washington tomorrow.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-15

Prospective BrideErOOma should Phone
Downey's Stables, 1870 L ST., for carriages.