davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12
GLOBE SIGHTS
gy THE ATCHTsoT GLOBE

Man commences overeating at parties.
1t isn't kicking that makes mule
valuable.
Old proverb: A bashful man will make
a woman brave.
AS a general rule ones judgment Is best
when he doesn't bet on it.
If you have the proper sort of amiabil-
ity you swallow eleven kicks every day
We used to know man SO lucky he
never got fired that he didn't fall into
better job.
People go to the Bible for family names
less tan formerly, and possibly for oth-
er purposes
Some people devote their stubbornnesS
to making their troubles last longer imam
they should.
Every man. so far as our investigation
reveals, is confident he has good menu
DRY for faces
Every community has citizen who has
spent a long life figuring on going to the
next worlds fair.
There is this in favor of the thorough
bred dog: Its owner is more likely to
keep it shut up.
An ingrown crouch complains because
fall rains last so long when nothing needs
the moisture greatly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

telephone and then her somber rela-
| tives.
Tell me-" she cried. 'Have-have
you heard from him. and is he hurt
Has the colt run away?"
No, child, there hasn't been an &C
cident, or anything like that. Uncle
man"
Love Frank? why. of course love
him. / thought you knew. We hadn I
intended to tell you so soon. but we
are to be married in August"
A smothered groan came from her
uncle The telling would be hard.
"He-he can't marry you, dear"
Aunt Emma had spoken first.
He can't marry me-and why
The red suddenly fed from the cheeks
of Elsie Higgins
He loves another"
why, what do you mean, and how
do you know this?"
But the answer to this was to be,
for the moment, postponed.
There came a CHEEKY, well remem-
bered step from outside and the door
opened to admit
Frank Greedy!
Hello, everybody, and"
The smile died on the face of the
young man as he glanced about him
Whats wrong?'' he asked. "Some
those of Elsie.
What do you mean, Frank
Uncle Johns rugged old voice doomed
in the excess of his emotion-by
coming here now?'
'And why shouldn't I? I have al
ways been welcome here"
Yes. but we did not know-be-
fore"
Didn't know what? What does all
this mystery mean, anyway"
Have you forgotten?" came in the
patient voice of Aunt Emma, that
you asked Myra Apologize to call us
up this morning-and what you told
her to tell Us?"
ooh, is that alI?" Greedy seemed
relieved. "Why, of course not. How
ever, I've got it all patched up,
and
Got It all patched up?" Aunt En-
ma stared.
why. certainly-my cart, you know.
lost 1.-THE wind blew it over the big
cliff last night, and it was pretty well
sma shed. I was afraid couldn't drive
back until I could buy another. The
colt won't stand for anything but
sulky, and
Greedy paused to stare. These sud
den and ludicrous changes in express
sion were beyond him, and now Uncle
John and Aunt Emma were smiling
broadly. Suddenly the old man broke
into a laugh.
That's a good one on you, mother"
he grinned, when he had mastered his
voice. "She though Myra said that
your heart was lost-not your cart
and all this how-de-do is about that.
Come on, Emma, let's leave the two
to themselves. '-(Copy-
right, 1912, by Mcclure Newspaper
Syndicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12
HUAOR or THE DRY

looking Forward.-Son-Oh, papa. I've
oIoken a window. Father-VVell I'm b1s,y
| now Remind me about II later ana ri
s-'e SOu "hlpping.-Eliegend Blaetter
What happens when you put the dol
L 5 peLore the mani" bawled the candi-
uate The man goes after II. ansVvere5
an oid farmer in the d-IoIfisS-ilIe
Courier Journal ie
"Oh, mother, why are the ma, - a..
front baldheaded?'' 'sTbev boupht ~ tb III
cago Tribune ny 0'i''u III
The Delay.--'Ts your wife nearly ready7
we ought to be going" She won't be
into her nds.''-F'lfegende Blaetter
The letter Il is curious part Of
speech At first mere letter, II becomes
pronoun-" Yes" replied the plain per-
son, and then 1t gets to be a habit. -
Washington Star.
She-Do you get a rest every summer.
MI Jones? He-Oh. yes You see, I'm
only only In business: I'm not in society,"
Boston Transcript
Il hate familiarity. But II man pinch
ed you in the street, what would Won
do?" KNOCK him down. But II ne were
policeman? '''-Baltimore American.
when does your husband find time 70
do all his reading2' Usually when
want to tell him something Important
Detroit Free Press
1t Would Be Appreciated "what r.-
form are you interested in novv7'' arm
advocating that people be paid double for
the work they do when they don't feel
like working. "-Chicago Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

convention as being of the valid order.
And as Mr.. Deneen says, the "a dele
gates involved would not have changed
the result The great bulk of the many
contests that were brought by the
Roosevelt forces were without any
merit whatsoever and were merely
brought for the political effect they
would have in suggesting that the c.,l-
onePs candidacy had a strength that IL
di6 not possess. And out of this cam
paign of false pretenses, the Bull Moose
movement emerged with a battle cry:
Thou Shalt Not Steal.'' 1t is to laugh.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Any number of people are handi-
capped by not knowing what they
want.
Few humans are content with their
rights. They desire something more.
4
There would be many more towards
if the bravery of more men were put
to a test.
=
And q most important parsonage
down town doesn't always occupy a,
similar position around his own fire.
side.
Almost everybody can think of
something exceedingly clever to say
after the opportunity to say it has
Passed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
rFrom the Chicago News.1

TF'rom the Chicago News.]
The more some women talk the less
they seem to think.
Occasionally a man commands respect
by merely looking wise.
1t is an easy matter for the average
man to live down his salary
In choosing a wife, young man, use your
ears as well as your eyes
An optimist is a man who is thankful
for a lot of things he doesn't get
The average woman thinks the Lord
also loves a cheerful giver to his wife
Heaven is probably the one place where
Central will always give the right num-
Der.
Many a mans real reason for going
down town every evening is that he =
married to the wrong woman.
It's almost as dangerous to be on
friendly terms with a gossip as it is to be
unfriendly terms with one.
Probably the worst thing about being IL
love with girl is the interest you have
to pretend to have in her family
1t has been said that marriages are
ranged in heaven, but at the present
writing it looks as if most of them are
fixed up by the girls mother.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12
DAFFYDHS
BY q. NoALL.

Via the Novelty: If a telegraph
operator in New York married one in
San Francisco would it be a Western
Union?
(Sic i'm Prince! Hes the guy that
put the foot in footba1l.)
If Aunt Tidy puts up some peaches
and pears this season what will the
ash-can?
CYou change cars here Cor the funny
nouse.)
If you came across dill pickles in a
restaurant where would yo-l meat pie
Couch Doc!! You hit the nerve.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

Frank Munsey denies the rumor
current in New York that after No
vember 6, Colonel Roosevelt is to be
editor of the New York Press, the lat
est newspapers to be purchased by Mr..
Munsey. Mr. Munsey says that such
an idea has never occurred to him, but
that he would be willing to pay Col
onel Roosevelt 100000 a year to
serve as editor OF his newest news
paper venture.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

Sauce for the goose is sauce for the
gander. Under a ruling of the courts
there, the Bull Moose presidential
electors and candidates for congress
can not get their names on the bal
lots in the state of Idaho. Their
nominations were not made in ac-
cordance with the laws of that COM
monweaIth. Governor Johnson. who
arranged things in California so that
similar treatment has been accord
ed to the Taft electors there, will
probably be the loudest in his criti-
cism of the situation that has devel-
oped in Idaho.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12
RY TIE WAY
BX HARVEY PARso1sA

| MONTEnegro trimmed Turkey in the
first decisive battle. The local, or
garden style, could trim chicken
with less ammunition and less adver-
Using space.
OF course, the name of the country
des1gnateS the color of the mountain,
but the local colored gentlemen should
not be pinched for celebrating the
event.
And rise in price of Altar of Roses
viii have but little effect on this de-
partment- Altar of liver and onions
is our favorite pairfume. (The I-de-
yah. These peepul what work!)
Partisans of the Worlds champion
ship games may show some symptoms
of mental disqualification in New
York or Boston, but, if they can bea1
the thousand mile away fans of this
village, the Becker trial should be adj
journed to let the alienists hold a ses-
sion.
1t is so fierce in this remote viii
lage that the copy boy will give battle
to the managing editor without reas-
enable provocation.
Let US hope that the series will not
pass the seven mark. The Balkan
break-Out would be a pinochle game
compared with the eighth game in
this office.
After Golfers took a day off to OBJ
serve what others had previously OBJ
served, towit, that the Hearst copies
of the Archebold letters were forge
rieS, Mr.. Archebold bursted a golden
them very words OF course the
published letters were forgeries. The
stolen copies, sold to Mr.. Hearst,
were poor copy for an engraver.
h Ia ok
ribbon typewriter, but the story was
not spoiled with that trifling detail. |
The -cleanest signature of Mr.. Archie |
bold was made into a plate to use on |
batch was reproduced by half-to1e. |
Mr.. Hearst is not a successful presi- |
Dental candidate, but he is a dinger |
as newspaper and magazine publish |
er. Here's betting jitney cigar that |
he has original photographs of all of |
those letters in his safe.
This may look like an extremely
poor collection of paragraphs. Anyone
who wants to come into this office
and dodge eight stalwart sons of toll
as they tote two-ton iron beam over
his typewriter, is welcome to the job.
Of course. the time is coming when
his department will be punched in
private room and safe from such little
lnnoyances as a pound of plaster on
he bean or a brickbat in the type
writer. When that time arrives, the
,olyumn may improve.
What's worse, we are trying to
prove to the publisher that 10point
ype is too big. Our alleged book,
BY the Way will be on the market
within the convenience of the publish
r, and purchasable at six bits the
opy. It will be out precautionary
'e two weeks hence.
Our book doesn't cost much-bur
IL it's worth. A hundred pages 1
rabbed from the thousands of pages
his department has produced is not ]
Worth more than six bits, regardless
f publishers art and high grade pa /
er. which is about 7 5 per cent of the !
alue-
A few squeaks from Hondo Murphy
a few badly translated French and
parish proverbs; few rhymes l
nenet nothing much and a few home
made pictuFes-thats all you get fer
tx bits. Orders sent to this depart 7
lent will get prompt attention, as r
hey get the largest per cent. :
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

According to some statistics compiled
by the government farm prices of i'm
portant crops declined SIS per cent be-
tween September 1 and October 1. And
while the farmers are getting that
much less for their products. has any
consumer noticed anything like a cor
responding decrease in the prices that
he has had to pay for farm products?
T0rOba bIv NOT
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

Great is the grief in Germany
Many vineyards along the Moselle and
the Abr have had their crops entire
ly destroyed by early frosts, and
there will be a big shortage in the
production of Rhine wine. This is
little else than a national ca lamfty for
Germany, because life is scarcely
worth the living for the Germans if
they can't have all the Rhine wine
they want and at a reasonable price.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

Certainly it comes with bad grace for
Colonel Roosevelt to criticize Governor
Wilson concerning his attitude on i'm
migration as expressed as long ago as
1889. Colonel Roosevelt has never mad
any patients with any one who has
attempted to show how inconsistent he
has been on most of the public ques-
lions of this and other days. The
colonel holds to the idea that he can
change his opinions and attitudes as
often as he pleases. However, he doesn't
seem to accord the same privilege to
others.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

With one of the classics that he US
ually pens for such an occasion, Gov
ernor Stubs officially set aside today,
Columbus Day, as a legal holiday.
Everybody in Kansas. though with the
exception of the bankers and their
clerks ground out their daily tasks as
usual. Some of the legal holidays that
have edged their way into the calender
have all the earmarks of being jokes
as far as their general observation is
concerned
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

Without doubt the recent heavy rains
that were so general throughout the
state have saved next years wheat
crop for the time being, at any rate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

Topeka is to be treated to a social
survey, including, of course, an inves-
tigation of the vice conditions that
prevail here. And the results in the
latter particular will probably be a
report that not a few callow youths
lounge on the street corners and
smoke cigarettes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

that the success of cooperative bank
ing associations implies the adoption
of legislative measures which will
render their operation effective. 1t
also implies the rigid exclusion of any
Enthusiastically or unsound units
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

In all likelihood, the presidential
candidates and other office-seekers VIII
be delighted when the baseball cham
pionship series are a thing of the past
Then they will stand a show of at
tracing a little attention.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

Another remarkable thing about the
games in the worlds series is that no
one even breathes a suggestion that a
game is lost or won by rank umpiring
Maybe that excuse only passes current
in the minor leagues
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR.
rFrom the New York Press.I

TFTrom the New York PreSs.1
It's safer to bet on horse sense than on
genius.
Anyhow, a woman doesn't sing any
louder than a man argues
Fat wives aren't so bad on night cold
enough for more bed covers.
No matter how thin a girl is she can
think how wonderful it is it should be so
becoming to her.
man can have a crouch with his wife
because he didn't get a good seat to the
baseball game
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

This, surely, is additional evidence
OF the evangeIistic tenor of the Bull
Moose movement. They are now pass
ing the hat at each important stop
made by the Roosevelt special in the
middle states
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

And the plain people play in a little
luck once in while. Many of the can
didates for office, big and little, are
losing their voices.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12
HARMONIzATION NEEDED.

the International Congress Of Hygiene.
children brought up on farms are fed
on ill-cooked food, sleep in unsani-
tary rooms, have scanty baths, drink
impure water or worse milk and live
amid surroundings that violate all
laws of scientifically regulated health.
Yet according to another set boys
brought UP in the country average at
fourteen years of age five inches more
Of height and thirty pounds more of
weight than those brought up in the
city. What the congress needs most
is committee on harmonization of
oIutions.-Hutchinso Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member Of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
Telegraph report of that great news or
ERl1ixAtion for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka
The news is received in The State Jour-
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

Now comes Governor Deneen with the
statement that Colonel Roosevelt actual
~ considered only "a of his famous con-
tests before the Republican national
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

"She is in great demand as a brides
maid" Wonder why? She is neither
pretty nor stylish" But she can sob
beautifully, and all the brides like that
New York Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12
FROM OTHER PENS

PLAYING THE RECALL GAME.
With commendable restraint the people
OF Arizona have gone nearly a year with
out trying out that shining new recall
pocket-knife which they cried so heartily
TO get. But human endurance has its
units Recall petitions are being circl.-
lated in Arizona. They are aimed at 10
corrupt judges, at no venal creatures Of
the reactionary regime, but at the gov
ernor of the state. who was himself an
ardent champion of the recall Moreover.
the issue on which the governor has be- n
tried and found wanting is the question
OF prison administration. Governor Hunt
is In favor Of a liberal parole and pardon
ing policy which is everywhere recognized
as an important feature of the humanl-
tartan, progressive. social-tustice pro-
gram. HIS opponents, reactionaries pre-
sumabIy, are now using the recall for
their own purposes. simultaneously re-
can petitions are being circulated against
Two state senators who are opposed to
woman suffrage. Thus IL is fully demon
strated that the recall is a game which
Two can play at, and that the people of
Arizona will go on playing it with great
spirit for some time, until the novelty OF
the game has worn off.-New York Ever
ing Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

An anxious correspondent wishes to
know whether the plural for bull moose
is bull moses or bull meese.' There
is but one bull moose.-Chicago Record
Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12
LOUIsIANA'S SHOE Law

Louisiana has placed upon her statute
DOCKS a law which seems bound to arouse
the interest of other states. 1t is a law
shoes the same principle of n,Jblicifv
Whlcn runs through the federal purs
1000 act The manufacturer is perfectfv
iTee TO turn out shoddy shoes II he pIeases
70 90 So He can use paper or fiber a..
leather-board or other substances Of that
S Sort, But ne must indicate plainly upou
that the customer, if he is Intelligent
can can protect himself. Shoddy shoes, iIKe
S5iiote1es, ieVy a heavy tax upon the in
ulVIuual curing the course of his life Z
Is part OF that great waste which constf-
eutes- SO important a factor in the in
~ ~ easeu cost or living There is no state
n e,, me country which wouldn't be glad 10
I II1 the Louisiana law If It proves as
MotkapIe as its Louisiana advocates pre-
dict it will be.-Chicago Post. ~
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

But if the wicked turn from his wicked
ness, and do that which is lawful and
right he shall live thereby. Ezekiel
XXXIII 49,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12
KANSAS cOMA4ENT
TIE APPLE CROP.

The suns of September having
brought the rosy blush to the cheeks
of the apple, the orchards are full of
harvesterss and the CHEEKY rattle OF
the plump fruit is heard in the bar
rels. The apple crop has become one
of the largest resources of American
farms, and the holds of many Euro
pean steamships are full of the frag-
rant fruit on it's way to feed the old
world. The old fashioned orchard
was a dreary swamp of untrimmed
trees where on years when the canker
worm was taking a vacation, the
farmer might get a barrel or two of
fruit from each tree. No one ever
thought of enriching the soil OF of
cultivating around the trees, any
more than you would attempt to fer
tilize tract of scrub pines. II insect
pests got at the trees. you no more
thought of getting out to fight them
than to drive them out of a tract of
woodland. Under modern scientific
spraying ana cultivation, the apple
has become the most important single
crop on thousands of farms. AS the
price of good fruit is higher than it
was years ago, the demand does not
YET seem to be supplied. steep hill
sides on which cattle could scarcely
stand upright are turned from waste
land into lavish production. and the
farmer hands over an inheritance to
his children that is just like a bank
account.-Winfield Courier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12
TIE sTINGY MAJ.

If there is anything on earth that
gives us a longing for eternal rest and
deep, damp solitude it is a man VINO
comes to town or county, builds up
a big, paying business, grows rich and
then squats down on the gold like a
hen on a doorlknob and is too stinsy
even to let the gravels grind in his
own big gizzard. A real, genuine IS
karat, stingy. selfish man can't be
honest, and if he ever gets to heaven
and has wings, he will fold them up
and walk for fear he will ruffie a
plume or lose a tail feather. The kind
of men who build up town and coun-
ty and enjoy life and make the best
citizens, are the enterprising energetic
and liberal men, who believe in living
and letting others live; and who does
not, when they get a dollar squeeze
it till the Goddess of Liberty feels like
she had on a corset. Such squeezing
is what causes hard times and stops
the circulation of the American Eagle.
If it were not for our broad gagged,
enterp1ising men it would be impossible
to build up a prosperous city.-Sylvan
Grove News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

MONTEnegro trimmed Turkey in the
flrst decisive battle. The local, or
garden style, could trim a chicken
with less ammunition and less adver
Using space.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-10-12

A few squeaks from Hondo Murphy
"a few badly translated French and
Spanish proverbs; a few rhymes
anenet nothing much and a few home
made pictuFes-that's all you get fC1
six bits. Orders sent to this depart
ment will get prompt attention, as
they get the largest per cent.
The Daily Missoulian., 1912-07-30
MAX FRIED TRIAL
IS BEGUN
DAY SPENT IN GETTING JURY TO
TRY PROMINENT RESI-.
DENT OF BUTTE.

Helena. July 29.--(Special) Max
Fried and Sigmud Suslak of Butte
went to trial today I'm the federal
court on "a charge of having imported
Grace Beal. alias Grace Ridley. from
Spokane tn Butte, January r. last, for
immoral purposes. Motions for n
continuance and separate trials were
renewed, but denied.
All forenoon was consumed In sccur-
ing jury. both the government and
defense cxhausting their challenges
From the crowded appearance OF the
courtroom and corridors. goody
number 0f residents OF Butte's re-
strctcd district are attending the trial,
which viii be the most important at
this term OF court.
-Four or five witnesses were exam
incd this afternoon but the only one
OF consequence was "A Mrs. Smith OF
Spokane. n sister of the Beal woman.
who testified to n conversation her
sister had In her presence with Fried
at the Spokane hotel in Spokane. I'm
which the matter of "a position I'm
Butte Fried said was waiting for the
Beal girl, was discussed