The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1912-03-15

ing their hats into the ring, and lit
tie physical exercise would do them
good. And there is Henry Rikard, par
don me, I had almost overlooked this
important and hard working official.
They did burn off the grass the other
day on one the side of the entrance and
if looked like it was in mourning, for
the rest of the premises I reckon. /
don't know what else could have been
the meaning of this dark and gloomy
appearance.
Talking about throwing your hat
into the ring reminds me of the follow
ing which l read the other day IN
Frank Stanton's column in the Allan
ia Constitution in regard to the way
they settle races down in Billville, and
commend it to the various candl-
dates in this county:
"The Best Man Wins"
(How they Settle Literary and Politi-
cal Questions in Billville.)
Last year-'long about time for
Spring to put in an appearance" says
the Billville Banner, "the people O
this here settlement got all stirred up
over the question, Who is the leading
Literary Light in our midst? and in
stead O. takin' up valuable space
threshin' it out in the newspapers they
acted sensible, decidin' it by jumpin'
match twixt the two claimants-Bill
Jenkins an Tom Silas. 1t wuz to be
a 10-foot jump, best two out O. three,
an Bill cleared Is foot on the second
round, which settled the question for
good an all.
Likewise, the two candidates for
sheriff made up their minds that in
stead O. havin' a longwinded race for
the nomination they'd hop into 10
foot ring an fight for it pugilist-fash-
ion. which was no sooner said than
done, an one of 'ern was so knocked
out that he won't be in condition to
emerge from the hospital till the win
ner is in the Office, a-settin' back in his
easy chair.
"Of course, it wouldn't be dignided
to try and settle national questions
thataway, but what big savin' of time
an hot air it would be! Time one
candidate saw the other kickln' his
dog round to take it out O. his hide
then an thar, an let the people go
long bout their business" :"
Bv the way, I wonder what's the
matter with the boys in, NeWberry.
They seem to be little bit shy. They
don't seem to be in any rush to throw
their hats in the ring. Well, reckon
there is plenty of time. The race is
not always to the swift nor the battle
to the strong. The early bird might
get out before the worm and then, OF
course, you could not find the worm.
commend the following bit of good
philosophy to all who may be inter-
ested:
Yes said the local authority, ''the
man pIayin' the fiddle is 96 years old,
an the feller doin' the dancin' is his
baby boy, who has jes' turned so. Peo-
pie dunno what trouble is round here,
is why they live so long; don't go red
eyed after Office, don't cuss out the
guv'mint, an don't give durn wheth-
er congress is in session, or gone
fshin'. Long ago they me- Happiness
in the middle O. the road, told him
good mornin',' an give him house
rent free; they made old Trouble an
his wranglin' brood take to the woods,
an then sot the woods on fire!"
Why not let old man Trouble take
to the woods and then set the woods
on fire? 1t is good advice and sup
pose we all take it.
The Idler.
Keeping a Fortune.
Il is one of the significant signs OF
the times that there is an ever-increas-
ing business of looking after" estates
| a;saonrinar Incomes to