The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1912-01-26
MENDINC
An Easy Job That MIR. Gimp Tac-
killed. With Confidence.
IT GAVE HIM A BIG SURPRISE.
when He Got Through, or as Near
Through as He Was Permitted to
Get, He Was Rather Subdued-The
Plumbers Comment Was C..ite Brief.

Mr.. Gimp came home from the city
the other day and burst into his house
with an air that meant business. He
smiled when the maid told him his
wife was out, laid parcel on the
stairs, took Off his coat, rolled up his
sleeves, took his parcel and went up
to the bathroom, where he opened the
package. 1t contained monkey
wrench, a screw driver, half a dozen
assorted rubber washers and pipe
wrench.
THANK goodness, my wife's not
home" said Mr.. Gimp. IF there il
anything upsets a man 1t is the foolish
questions woman asks when he Is
trying to do Job. Plumber! Shed
get plumber to mend a leaky faucet.
would she2 I'll show her that a man
Of intelligence can do a Job in five min
utes that a plumber would take all day
10 do and charge Sc. NowF
Mr.. Gimp turned the faucet. Not a
! irop of water came out. He turned
he other 1t was dry. They were the
oathtub faucets, and the far one had
been leaking for a week, while Mr..
Gimp promised day by day to attend
to it,
"Well," said Mr.. Gimp as he saw
that no water came out OF the faucets,
that's more sense than thought that
woman possessed. Turned of the wa
ter. did she? Didn't let it run all day
when there was no need Of It, hey7
Nowr'
Mr.. Gimp took the monkey wrench
In one hand and the pipe wrench In
the other and climbed into the bath
tub. Then he sat on the edge while
he studied the faucet.
"Lemme seey' he said. "You take Off
that handle, and you unscrew that top
dingus. That's what you do" So he
did that Twice the monkey wrench
slipped and he skinned three knuckles,
but he got the handle off. and he UNI
screwed the cap and pulled out the rod
that held the washer. Then he peered
down into the remaining portion of the
faucet and looked at the washer.
The washer seemed in good condi-
ton. He peered into the faucet and
ran his finger around In 1t, accumulat-
Ing iron rust on IL. IL the washer was
not broken what could be the matter
with the thing7 There must be some
thing the matter deeper down. He set
his pipe wrench around the pipe and
grasped the faucet with the monkey
wrench The faucet held like grim
death. The more II resisted the more
he pushed and pulled and grunted and
said strong words.
When the faucet gave at last IL gave
suddenly. and Mr.. Gimp fell over the
side of the bathtub and landed with
bump that shook the house. He was
up again In a minute and in the bath |
tub. The faucet was badly married |
where the wrench had dug into its
soft brass. and the nose of 1t was
twisted awry, but the faucet was off.
He took the faucet to the window and |
studied It, Except for the damage he
had done 1t, there seemed nothing the
matter with It.
Some fool plumber" said Mr.. Gimp
angrily, has put the wrong sort of
washer into this faucet That's what's
the matter, and that's all"
He picked out a different sort Of
washer and put 1t on the plunger. 1t
was not a good fit, but 1t was change
anyway.
"Now," said Mr.. Gimp, and he
,lImbed back into the bathtub. He
bumped himself down on his knees
and looked into the water pipe on
which he had to screw the faucet.
Now" he said.
AS IL that had been the signal, a
strong, vigorous stream of water shot
,ut OF the pipe and struck Mr. Gimp
n the eye He gasped for breath and
umbled backward But the stream
pursued him. He got up and Crap
lied with the stream.
Unless you have tried TO grapple
With a stream like that you cannot
wen family imagine the difficulty OF
living 1t good, self satisfying Crap
lie. A stream like that will not fight
air. II you put your hand over the
,ipe the stream win squirt ont in for
y-two directions. Some of them lift
he ceiling. Most OF them lift Mr.
limp. He wrestled silently until the
'athroom was well soaked and he was
veil soaked, and then he decided It
vas better Just to let the stream squirt.
{ spurted into the bathtub anyway.
10 he got out of the tub and dripped
n the floor and paved water out OF
is hair and wiped water out of his
yes.
And just then the plumber came up
tairs again. He had been down cell
ar to turn on the water after he had
xed the faucet. and 1t was quite nat
raj that he should come up again to =
ee If the faucet was well fixed. So
e came up, and he looked into the
athroom. and he saw the faucet ~
lg In the bathtub among wrenches ,
nd water. and he saw the water
putting heartily.
And all he said was. swell, I'll be T
urnedr' Just like that-"well, III
e durned." That was all he said
Ills Parker Butler in Judge.