The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-21

er has headwaters, a pin has a head
therefore. rheumatism should have a
head. Its a wonderful system and
we'll liked. so well liked that the
crowds which have blocked the physi.
clans consulting fiat and extended
into the street have caused the mullet
headed landlord, who has no brains
for science, to protest. He has asked
the courts to intervene, but so far the
men of robes and wigs have not been
able to determine their powers in the
matter.
The next time the servant girl quits
and you're forced to do the sweepins
yourself. don't a a word. Be thank
fui. You might be playing pillow
horse out in the fields while your hus.
band chased along behind. guiding
the harrow and making unkind re.
marks about how you follow the fur
row. Also he might now n then
WELD the whip. o, it's happened.
Mrs. Lafayette Choat Of Liberty. Mo-,
is the living example Of the fact that
a woman may be used as a beast of
band for divorce in the circuit court
of Independence. Mo. Her charge
guess it! It's cruelty. And while this
is going on. Mr.. Choate is harboring
the memory Of a Jail sentence. where
he was sent on a charge of felonius
assault.
OF course, you may live in a fiat
and not be where there are any fields
to pillow. Then. too, YOU husband
may be a perfect gentleman. But
it's a queer old world.
There's the loaded cigar to keep
away from. Also, if you'd be careful,
look out for the loaded pipe. That
wise old n about history repeating
itself also goes for accidents. and
here's the experience Of William
Brown OF Salina, Kan. to profit from.
William is a farmer. He carried
his tobacco sack in his pocket and
when the sack ran dry he was in the
habit of %"scoopin' up tn leavin's"
from his pocket. He did it the other
day and neglected to notice that the
tobacco felt unusually heavy. A few
seconds later. however. there was a
flash. a report. a wild howl and a hur-
ry trip to the doctors office. The
list of missing included n right hand
which formerly had been in the en-
ploy and ownership of Brown. In the
lighting Of the pipe. a cartridge.
which had become mixed with the to-
bacco and put into the bowl had ex-
ploded. So, take the tip.
There are two things to watch for,
if you're going to talk a trip to any
States. One is being bitten by sand
f1eas. That's ordinary and simply an
moving. The other thing is worse.
Don't swallow any Lizards. Swallow
is the word. for it has happened, and
in addition to causing loss of appetite,
headaches. spots before the eyes, and
loss of flesh. it's hard on the lizard.
Joseph Schneider Of Wales. n. j..
is the latest person to be accused Of
wandering around last summer when
the weather vas hot and threats were
p%arching. He needed a drink and was
so eager to get it hat he looked not
before he drank. According to the
Geographic reports from the scene of
the occurrence. Mr.. Schneider admits
that he felt a slight tickling in his
throat when he drank, but thought
nothing of it. 1t was the last spas
defend himself against doing a mod
ern Jonah act. Then. having been
swallowed. the lizard began to retali-
ate. Within a short time Schneider
began To lose weight. He continued
to lose it at the rate~ OF a pound q day
until recently, when he relented and
cousl,ed ny the lizard. Now he is
getting we'll again. T'ut you can see
the lesson in this happening. Not
is fclled. not a lizard is swallowed
but there follows r%etribution. And
so be careful.
The doctor has advised ice cold
baths every morning, has he? That's
not so bad. Something a whole lot
worse might happen ou. For in
stance. o might be Orville Baker
of Alexandria. Ind. Orville. a fresh
man at Earlham college. was stripped
ed in a bathtub by seven classmates
and rubbed down. with wire hair
brushes until his entire body was COW
cred with scratches.
OF course. it was only a little joke,
a mere hazing affair. but it hurt Or
ville's feelings. He didn't know it was
going to hapnen to him. He wouldn't
have believed such a thing was posi-
Bile, he told the heads of the college
who are investigating the affair. But
that's the way it goes; nobody eve
knows.
Disaster may evcn Turk in a Joke.
A doctor bill may follow, as there
was in the case of Mrs. A. Fox. Of
Ames, Iowa. Mrs. Fox's daughter had
been to a circus and was telling her
mother Of it. \ clown had done
something funny. Az ledSt tNe INOIner
thought it was funny and she began
to laugh. She continued to laugh for
two hours. when physicians were
called into consultation. They seized
a bottle of chloroform-by hard
work put her under the influence Of
it-and kept her there until the eff
fects of that funny happening had
worn off. Then Mrs. Fol- stayed in
bed for two days. recovering from
the exertions of her two hours siege
of merriment.
And that's the way it goes. all over
the world. Something is always hap
pening, and it always occurs when
the victim doesn't know a thing about
It. The god Of foolery ley sleeps.
He stalks his game by day and by
night. ne finds It in the most unex-
pected places. and deals out his little
iests at the most inopportune times.
That's the reason for the question:
The next minute. now. what may hap.
pen to you?