Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-27

! nc LauleS Ala gave Il Soclal 1ueS-
day evening for the benefit of the
heather in Madasgar. Refreshments
consisting of Japanese lanterns and
paper napkins We're served. Those at
tending got fooled and the heather
got $1.9S.
They are thinkin' OF buildin' an
lnnertuben railrud through our midst.
Seccnd-hand tombstuE for sale at this
oitlce Tor somebody who expects to
die by the name of jackson as that is
the name carved on 1t.
Doc. Hanks says every time he looks
at Uncle Ezra Harkins lately he thinks
Darwin was right after all. Uncle
Ezra certainly has been making one
of himself since he began counting
all the old soldiers in this vicinity.
He ought to be called in by all sick
veterans as he Is a veterinary surgeon.
(Adv.) Amariah Tflson, our gentle
manly n accomplished tonsorial art
list. charged Chef Binks double price
for q Shav this week because Chet
has got the humps. Since Miss Amy
Pringle. u milliner. had her own hair
washed at a manicure parlor down to
the city her switch is too dark.
Old Man Purdy has got a new job
with his wooden leg. He got notches
cut In 1T and he stands out in Swaxey
creek SO the people can see IL the flood
is raising or falling. Purdy says the
only help for this town is to dam the
river and a good many people in our
midst are following his suggestion. with
the exception of the Rev Hudnutt, who
doesn't believe in 1t.
Amos Butts, our genial undertaken,
says business is quiet this spring.
What Amos ought to do is to advertise
IN the Clarion. We reach all the dead
ones. There is going to be an anna
teur tank drama at Tibbitt's nal next
Wednesday evening and Hank Tumms
is goiry to take the leading part. Some
kick is being made because it is claim
ed Hank Is not al amateur, but a pro-
fcssional tank.
The Hickeyville Silver Cornet band
a been engaged to play over to West
Hickeyville next Thursday. That's
when we will get even with West
Grandma Perkins is still alive and a
lot OF relations is kept in suspenders
to know which will get her eighty.
Amos Butts. our popular and con-
genial undertaken. has purchased a
new whip socket for his hearse. Let
the improvements go on. Racin' home
from funerals is all the go in these
parts at this writing.
Amariah Tilson. our popular ana
congenial tonsorial artist. guitar play
er and fancy whistler. has got his pic
ture in h Police Gazette at last. He
SNPSNSo " dSCCRt b lucrative OIIcc
from some vaudeville opry in the near
Iuture as this town is getting too small
for him.
Reginald Hickey. who has been
heavy man with the De Coursey stock
the past season. has com
mother. who takes in plain sewing by
the day or week. Hank Tumms
said whoever hired Reginald for a
neavy man was stung, as Reginald
only weighs 1872. Old Mar Purdy said
mats nothing as he once knowed an
aE : VINO weighed 346 and the papers
al Q fooled into calling him a light
comedian on account of the color of
ms hafr. and old man Purdy said Hank
vas 4 liar and Constable Ezra Hank
nad TO; interfere and pry Ham and old
Euroy apart with a crowbar.
HI Higgins has invented a new
iiyln machine. He says he will sail
through the air on it and when he
wants 1t to light he will touch a match.
20 IT. Hi Is almost as comic as an
almanac.
Honesty nay or may not be the
US. po!lcy. put a Teller never has a
chance to find out in this mans town.
william Tibbitts now sells ice cream
sody water in his grocery store. It Is
something brand new but We editor.
VINO got 9 glass Of 1t the other day.
don't think much of 1t, as It is most
all wind and too hard to swaller.
I. Egbert Peavey expects a ioh In
theatrical business as leading man
With Doc Hanks Marsh Root Patent
Medlctne show. and T. Egbert will
pronaOly be q matinee Idol and one
q the brightest stars In the ferment.
pany. His mother had did it SO far, ~.
EgDert is g disciple of Edwin Booth
or BallingtOn Booth, don't recaii
which. and will do the legitimate on