The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1912-06-13
A DEACON'S
REMEDY
BY M. QUAD -
BY M. QUAD
Copyright. 1912, by Associated Lit
erary Press.

happy one
Both are religious" answered thu
wife.
VERY religious. Neither has skipped &
sermon or prayer meeting for years.
1T will be one long, happy day fol
them"
ut surely will. This match was made
In heaven, whether any others have
been or not. I shall be only too glad
to take them by the hand and con.
graduate them"
The fact that Philetus was an old
bach and Eunioe an old maid and that
they had courted for three years before
marriage had nothing to do with 1t.
This is a free country, and one may fall
in love at sixteen or wait until he Is
forty.
Yes, the happy pair were religious
and belonged to the same church; but
though many things were discussed be-
fore marriage, religion was laid away
on the shelf and left undisturbed. That
they had it and lived by 1t was enough.
And yet there was a surprise in store
for both. While church members, there
were certain things open to doubt In
their minds. 1t was Philetus who first
gave expression TO one of his doubts.
They had been married month when
one day he called attention to the phys
ical fact that Jonah would have sufro.
Gated inside of two minutes In the
vha1 hnl1 ha n ha hnay,
but he didn't suffocate," replied Eu.
nice.
Because he wasn't swallowed"
what! You doubt it?'
II must say do"
Eunice said no more. She sat down
and gasped for breath and an hour
later visited the deacon in his real
estate office to relate the incident and
ask for advice.
I'D a leetle rather philetus believed
that Jonah was swallowed" replied the
deacon, "but can't say that his disbe
lief is goin' to keep him out of heaven
I've met some good men that kinder
SHE'D off from that story"
"But of course he was swallowed"
"Of course, but it shouldn't get up
any hard feelings In the family. Better
go home and say nothing more"
1t was Eunice that expressed the
next doubt She did it by asking Phi
letus IL he really believed the children
of Israel crossed the Red sea dry shod.
"why, of course they did," was the
reply.
but there were some puddles left,
even If the waters rolled back"
"You never mind about the puddles.
There wasn't any sidewalk built for
them as I know of, but nobody got his
feet wet"
1--WE often wondered whether they |
did or not"
Then away went Phlletus to Deacon
Roberts to relate the incident and said:
ut will be a dreadful thing IL it
turns out that have married an unbe-
lever"
ooh, guess Eunice Is all right"
drawled the deacon. Its a woman's
way to kinder doubt. Even my wife,
who got religion when she was 'leven
years old, seems to be leetle shy on
some things. Eunice is purity sure of
going to heaven when she dies"
Both Eunice and Philetus ought to
have been satisfied after an interview
with the deacon, but such was not the
case. And they ought to have had the
sense not TO bring up other subjects of
dispute, but those who have once start
ed wrangle on religious matters are
agreed that It is hard thing to break
off. The newly weds found 1t so.
There were more doubts, more dis
putes, more calling on the deacon for
sympathy and advice. He was a good
natured man, and for weeks and
weeks he bore with the disputants.
Then Philetus came again, and Eu-
nice came again, and the deacon's linn
Il was finally reached. He didn't con-
suit with the parson, his wife or any
body else. He Jus sat down and had :
a good think and then told his wife
he guessed he'd drop down to the {
postoffice and see IL there was postal /
card from his brother in Vermont. /
Philetus and Eunice were having a |
hot dispute over the 1oaves and fishes
rs the deacon walked in on them with
nut knocking
I'm glad you Gamer cried both in
,horus
"So'm TT he said as he began to shed !
ais coat I
What is ii, deaconT I
"Philetus, am going to give you +,
raul burned good whaling. and, Eu- !
lice. I'm going to lock you down cellar a
or two whole days. You've disputed
md wrane!ed and come to me till I'm
lex and tired of 1t. l thought you
lad some religion and little sense,
nut ding r,y buttons If you've got
itherv
But. deacon
mo butts about It, You either prom
Sc to quit here and now or I'll pro-
eed TO raise thunder and blazes.' :
The deacon had them on the run. I
led never made use of such language
nless he'd reached the jumping Off
lace. He had his coat off and had
pat on his hands In business way,
yhen the couple cried quits. And from
hat hour argument ceased, and the
owe Of love and peace had steady
ob at good pay and could now and
hen take a weeks vacation without =