Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-03-24
BY J. EARL CLAUSON

ing is enthusiastically American. Queer
epltaphS are so welcome that one vaudeville
entertainer made them his stock in trade
for years. Those he invented were never
half so enthusiastically received by his audi
ences as the real ones he quoted.
1t is as impossible to manufacture the
equal of an unconsciously funny epitaph as
to perpetrate in cold blood anything COM
parable with the phrasing of set of resolu-
tions adopted not many months ago by the
grammar school masters of one of our larger
cities:
whereas, Almighty God in His provi-
dence, and as we believe out of loving care
for His children, has removed from our midst
by death the superintendent of our schools
Or the enthusiastic assertion of an actor
whom the late Kirke La Shelle, the author,
observed was wearing mourning band on
his arm.
dts for my father the actor explained.
"I've just come from his funeral.
La Shelle expressed his sympathy.
The actors grief was obviously real and
great. Il attended to all the funeral arrange
ments," he said. ave had everything just
as Father would have liked it."
"Were there many there" asked La
Shelle
"Were thereo" cried the actor with pride
"Why my boy, we turned them away
TT seems but yesterday when the anecdote
of character had the right of way in these
United States. Together with the stage
Irishman and the mother in law wheeze, it
has passed on-and ooh, the difference" to
all of us. For whether or not the bgosh
joke was true to life, there was something
distinctly diverting about the figure it called
to mind.
Material for a whole vaudeville sketch,
for instance, is suggested by the story OF the
rival poultry farmers who, meeting on the
highway, INDUCED in the following dialogue:
"Mornin', ST."
@Mornin', Hi"
"Wha' you give your chickens when they
had the pip?"
"Tu'pentine."
"Mornin', ST."
"Mornin Hi"
A week passed and they met again. The
conversation:
@Mornin', ST."
"Mornin', Hi"
"Wha'd you say you gave your chickens
when they had the pip"
"Tu'pentine."
oval, gave mine tu'pentine, nd they
died"
"So'd mine.
"Um-m-mornin', ST."
MOT1ll1l III.
PUT since the farmer has become the
most opulent member of our body poll
tic and has bought harmful of touring cars,
he is of as little actual use to the professional
funny man as-well, as Waterbury watch.
Our colored brother still supplies modicum
of innocent amusement, to be sure, and it
may pardonably be hoped that many year
will pass before he becomes too sophisticated
to furnish such tale as that of the old uncle
with strong ethical convictions, which Con-
gresham Nicholas Longworth tells.
This old negro was stopped in the street
on election day by white man who asked
him whether he had voted.
"Yas, indeed, Is voted" replied the
negro.
add you get anything for your vote?"
ooh, vas, sub, l got paid for my vote"
"What did you get?"
3Well, sub, it was laik dis. De Republi-
cans come to me an dey says dey give me
eleven dollahs if me and NAH three boys
vote de Republican ticket, an l took de
money. An de Democrats come to me and
dey says dey give me seven dollahs TO NAH
vote and nah boys vote, an l took de
money"
"You took money from both sides? Then
which ticket did Won yOtaon