davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26
MeditatiOnS
Of An Ass

The Opening of the Campaign of 1912.
The campaign OF 1912, in the JUG
ment of the ASS, will result in the draw
ing OF class lines" and the election, not
of real president but of a REAL
ISSUE, and that issue Capital vs..
Labor"
For many years the problem of Ameri-
can politicians has been How to fool
the people all of the time" and they
have been succeeding admirably. They
have divided the people into two sup
posedly contending factions and voted
them AGAINST EACH OTHER as cas-
lily as if they had been dealing with a
lot of wooden men, utterly void of eco
monte interests of their own, and equally
void of brains.
Lately, however, things have been hap
pening. Peculiarly sensitive vacuums
have appeared in numerous cases just
below the belt line, causing nervous
twitching in the upper region where the
working class keeps its brand new lot
of brains THAT it has never yet used as
class and there is a growing convic-
ton among the working class sheep that
'the animal that raises the wool has a
right to the product of his own hide"
This, of course, is simon-pure anarchy,
in the minds of the sheep shearers," but
for all that their "bell -wethers" will
find they have dickens of a time get
ting the sheep into the capitalistic
SHAMELESS next November-many hun
dreds of thousands, perhaps million or
two will "come home missing" this time.
After the fun is all over there will be
some great surprises for someone-the
ASS is too wise now to say just who. 1t
is safe to make the prediction now and
tell 'who" afterwards-in this way the
ASS hopes to build up a reputation for
'sagacity" equal to the "weatherman's."
He will, however, run the risk of losing
all his past reputation Ia very desirable
thing, by the way, to get rid off by
venturing to assert that the coming cleo
ton will witness the passing of ONE OF
THE OLD PARTIES-and if the flies
would let him alone for while, and he
had another ear of corn TO cheer him up,
he might venture the statement that
there is just possibility that it may
witness the passing of BOTH of them.
At any rate someone is going to get an
awful jolt-that they richly deserve.
You better join the He Haw crowd. The
ASS himself did it and takes all the
blame.
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26
COUNCIL COLUMN.

The new council is now fully organized
and familiar with its work. A very
noticeable change in its attitude and
purpose was evident Monday evening
For the first time in the history of Ev-
erett the interest of the working men
and women of our city is being presented
Watch our socialist members, as they
are the forerunners of majority rule for
majority interests.
That street speaking motion mot or
dinance) is thing of the past. The
number of free things in Everett is now
doubled-free speech is added to free air
1t seems that the free employment bu-
reau was discontinued arbitrarily and
that the ordinance governing it still
stands. Good work for the council-we
are finding out things now.
We congratulate Mr.. Carlson on his
knowledge of working class needs. It is
a pleasure to find a fourth member of
the council who is modern enough to give
attention to the comfort and well being
of workingmen.
1t seems that the class that makes
"hoboes" does not care to meet them in
Everett. Charity seems strangely lin
tied to $500 dances.
JOSEPH T. HAZARD,
Acting Editor.
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

there can be no middle. pivotal point,
my reasoning ia falhcious, aud l have
lost my sleep. Dear me, | am through
with these higher symphonies, and fleecy
tonal tweaks leased from ight.poised
keys. Ragtimc philosophy is the phil
osophy for me. "Pd rather be on the
inside looking out than the outside look
ing in" am sure of that Spencer,
Nictsche, Dietzgen! ! tell you, | AM
sure of that.
GEORGE ALLEN.
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26
SHOULD STAND FOR SOCIALIST
PRINCIPLES.

1T is sincerely to be hoped some def
mite steps will be taken toward the form
alton of Catholic socialist societies in
the United States, and our American
comrades may rest assured they have
the very best wishes OF the parent body.
Let us grid up our loins, for the future
is certainly ours. The Catholic social
lists should stand for the same principles
as do the recognized socialist bodies Of
the country, and seek specially TO propa-
gate these principles among the Catho-
lie populatitn."-William Regain, secre-
tary Catholic Socialist society, Glasgow,
Scotland
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26
Directory Socialist
Locals

Anacortes-Meets in Labor Temple, 10th
and Commercial Sts., every Sunday at
1880 D. m. First and third Sundays
devoted to business. Second, fourth
and fifth to propaganda meetings. X.
Sehwarz, Secy., Box 1876, Anacortes.
Bellingham North-Meets in Socialist
hall, 416 w. Holly St., every Sunday
at $3.50 p. m. Mrs. c. f. Oily, record
ing secretary, Silver Beach Station,
Bellingham; W. Horsman, financial
secretary, 1920 Iron St.; Mrs. Alice
Atkin, woman's correspondent, l4l6 N.
Elk st.
Bellingham South-Meets every Sunday,
D. m at HOG Mckenzie Ave.
Bothell-AIeets at Humans hall, first
and third Saturday evenings. Com
bined business and propaganda meet
ings. Mrs. Nellie Underhill, Secy,
Box 531, Bothell.
emerton-Meets every Sunday even
ing at Eagle hall
Everett Third Ward-Meets every Sun
day, 2 D. M, at 320S Broadway. VIM.
Sachs, 4lst and Rucker, Secy.
Everett Fourth Ward-Meets every Sun
day at 8 p. M, at Jenkins hall, 1906
Everett Ave. Frank Gillespie, 1903
Harrison Ave, Secy.
Everett Fifth Ward-Meets in Labor
Temple, big hall, every Sunday even
ing at 1880 o'clock. L. T. Waters,
Secy.
Everett, Sixth Ward-Meets every Sun
day at 2:3O in Normanna Hall annex
on North Rockefeller. Z. w. Phillips,
Secy., 29l71s Hewitt Ave-
Freeland, R. F. D. Langle y-Meets End
and 4th Sundays at 2 p m. at Crest
House. Program 8 p. m. second Sun
days. A. K. Hanson, Seoy
Granite Falls-Meets every Fr;5cy r's
in ChappelPs hall. ". X. Parr, Secy,
Granite Falls
HilIyard-Meets every Thursday night
at 446 Samson Ave j. C. Hardness,
Secy. Treas, Box 307 Hillyard.
Irondale-Meets the first and second
Sundays of the month at John Hyd-
ems, Fifth and Moore j. w. Duncan,
Secy., Irondale.
Kelso-Meets in Kelso Theater every
Thursday night. E. L. Carr, Secy,,
Kelso.
Orting-Meets at Rowe's hall the first
and third Sunday of each month at 2:3O
D. m. w. C. Bickford Secy. Orting
Port Angeles-Meets every Sunday at 2
D. m. at socialist headquarters. D.
O'Brien, Secy., Port Angeles.
Prosser-Meets on the first and third
Sundays in each month at p. M, in
the court house.
Seattle Socialist Headquarters, 1909 9th
Ave Business meetings, Fifth Ward
local every Tuesday evening. Propa-
ganda meetings in Labor Temple every
Sunday at p. m. Bruce Rogers, Secy.
Seattle Tenth Ward-Meets at Mays
hall, 9th Ave. n. E. and E. AID ST.,
every Friday at p m. r. A. Daniels,
Secy., 4O43 9th N. E., Seattle.
Seattle, Thirteenth Ward-Meets every
Tuesday evening, p. M, in Maccabee
Temple goth Ave. N. W., near Ballard
Ave. B. II. Miller, Secy
Sequim-Meets the first and third Sun
days of the month at 2 p. m. in the
G. A. r. hall. Mrs. c. H. Dover, SecyY
Sequim.
Silvana-Meets the second and fourth
Sundays at 2 p. m, at Union Trading
hall, Silvana. E. II. Erickson, Secy,
Silvana.
Wenatchee-Meets in socialist hall, Har-
lin block, every Sunday at p. M.
Geo. Egan, Secyy Wenatchee.
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26
A JURYMAN AMONG WOMEN.

A jury composed Of American women
one gallant writer has said, should be
fair enough at any rate, and Mr. Put
nam Field of San Diego, California, takes
the pains to second this point of view
In fact. he goes 80 far rs to write n let
ter TO the Springfield Republican about
it, giving his recent experiences in San
Diego rs "juryman among women"
Says Mr. Field:
| was summoned to act on II jury in
the police court, and when the jury was
made up we had three women and nine
mcn-the first time woman had been
on "A jury in this country. In making up
the jury the defendants counsel had
been very rigid in his examination, but
the answers to his questions had been
such as to prevent his challenging but
one woman-the apparent reason in her
case was that she belonged to the Young
Women's Christian association.
The case was a prisoner charged with
having to do with the management of a
club which was a resort for gambling
and drinking. Three witnesses were
called to establish the fact of the re-
Sort but said nothing to implicate the
accused, except that he was usually
there, and sometimes gambling. A stool
pigeon was put on the stand. He said
he was employed by the police to visit
the place and get evidence on which to
found complaint. He was accepted as a
member of the club, and his membership
card was signed by the accused as secre-
tary He was there many times, and
once saw accused sell chips and take the
money, and once saw him take up the
kitty"
The women gave particular attention
to the evidence. On retiring, the jury
elected one of the women as foreman
She took the chair, and, with the judges
charge in hand, showed that she was
master of the conditions. On the first
ballot there were seven, including the
three women, who voted guilty, and five
not guilty.
From o'clock p. m. to 8 the jury
was busy talking; two of the women
said that their natural desire was not
to convict but that they could not be-
lieve that the secretary of the club was
not implicated in managing it, and con
tinued to vote guilty with the same four
The secretary question was the deciding
point. The judge was called in and the
jury reported, and he asked if they de-
sired further instructions. The matter
was explained, and he gave instructions
that the fact of the accused being secre-
tary was not sufficient in itself to con-
vict, when the seven changed their vote
to not guilty.
During the time of celebrating the
women showed more familiarity with
the evidence than the men and a desire
to have every point understood, and none
were sooner to change their vote when
the judge gave the final instruction.
At the recent election I voted against
the women being made voters, but from
my experience I am convinced that they
made better and more desirable jurors
than the average man.-Literary Digest
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

Bill Jones is a country storekeeper
down in Louisiana, and last spring he
went to New Orleans to purchase stock
of goods The goods were shipped i'm
mediately and reached home before he
did When the boxes of goods were de
livered at his store by the drayman his
wife happened to look at the largest !;
she uttered a loud cry and called for a
hammer. A neighbor, hearing the cries,
rushed to her assistance and asked what
was the matter. The wife, pale and
faint. pointed to an inscription on the
box which read as follows:
"Bill inside"
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

An early morning customer in an OPP
tician's shop was a young woman with
determined air. She addressed the
first salesman she saw. Il want to look
at a. pair of eyeglasses, sir, of extra mag
nifying power"
yes, ma'am," replied the salesman
something very strong"
yes, sir. While visiting in the coun-
try I made a very painful blunder which
I never want to repeat"
Indeed Mistook a stranger for an
acquaintance
mo. net exactly that; / mistook a
bumblebee for O blackberry"
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

'Mr, Grimes" said the rector to the
vestryman, Eve had better take up the
collection before the sermon this morn
ing!"
"Indeed!"
eyes; Pm going to preach on the sub
ject of economy"
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

If You are OF the business world and
in the world for business, let the public
know it. Inform them through the
Commonwealth.
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

All socialists should register at once
for 1912. The vote on the charter for
Commission Government" will be taken
soon.
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

The philosophy Of push and publicity
in a nutshell. Get subscribers and use
your advertising cards.
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

The Commonwealth and other socialist
books and publications for sale at Ray
mer's Old Book Store, 1922 First avenue,
Seattle.
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

aot's standing
has not been passed upon by the higher
criticism. In st. John, chapter II, ac-
count is given of Mary's using a pound
of ointment of spikcnord, very costly
to anoint Ills feet, whereupon Judas
said: 'sWhy was not this ointment sold
for three hundred pence, and given To the
poory" That listens to Us like a Red
Card man starting something.
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

but get the initial start from the ground
Beautiful episodes in the domestic NE
of the German barbarians are introduced
by Tacitus, to relieve the 9th
erwise uniform narration of misery I'M
posed by the Roman arms. Following
the account of the Roman, the Decline
and Fall transcribed from "Germanite'
to his own majestic work these glori-
Gus particulars: Polygamy was not
in use, except among the princes, and
among them only for the sake OF
multiplying their alliances. Divorces
were prohibited by manners rather than
nv laws. Adultries were punished as
rare and iuexplicable crimes. The adult
ress was whipped through the village;
neither wealth nor beauty coluld inspire
compassion, or procure her a second nus
band. The Germans treated their women
with esteem and confidence, consulted
them on every occasion of Importance,
and fondly believed that in their breasts
resided sanetity and wisdom more than
human. Conscious pride taught the Ger
man females to suppress every tender
emotion that stood in competition with
honor, and the first honor of the sex has
ever been that of chastity. After lost
battle, before the wives of the Teutons
destroyed themselves, they offered tc
surrender, on condition that they should
be received as the slaves only of the
vestal virgins" Such were the virtues
of the German barbarians as they eX
listed at the beginning of the Christian
era, and were recorded by the faithful
est of Romans. Such we believe to be
the historic character of the German
people. If socialism would debase al
fection obliterate family ties, and de
stroy the home, how comes it to have
been embraced first of all by people
whose traits and characteristics so in
evitably incline them to homogeneous re
lations, a family, and home life?
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

A law of Elizabeth, imposing pains
and penalties on idle persons, included
in that number, "diviners, fortune tellers,
exhorters, gypsies and persons who study
metaphysics" These last, it would seem,
are singled out with more of justice than
is usual in such queenly determinations.
1 have read Spencer, Nietsche, and
Dietzgem until | am not sure that | am
not sure that I am alive. am ingrained
with cautioness and would test even a
golden opportunity with acid-selenic
acid. Often the operation of calculating
my wages, or of determining what I
shall eat at dinner, is vexed by the in
trusion of some doubt, like, to choose an
"Is bee bug or a bird IF
so, why not? "
This morning 1 awoke with Carlyle's
"man is a being at the confluence of
two eternities," rumbling in my dome of
thought. Close reasoning is no hobby of
mine so | reasoned loosely, thus Using
this precise second as the pivotal point,
there is in one phase an eternity we call
the past, an interval we call the present,
and then a conception termed the future.
Two weeks from now, two weeks will
have been added to the past, two weeks
will have been taken from the future,
yet the future will not be a white short
err, and consequently, the past will not
ave been made any longer, all because
ime has no beginning nor ending. Then
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

Prosecuting Attorney-Your honor
the bull pup has gone and chawed up
the court Bible.
Judge-Well, make the witness kiss
the bull pup, then. We can't adionrn
court for a week just to hunt up a new
Bible"
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

Entered as second-class matter March
9, 1911, at the postoffice at Everett,
Washington. under the act of March 5,
1879,
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26
CHUCKLES.

Marks-Say, old man, did I ever tell
you about the awful fright I got on my
wedding day?
Parks-S-sh! No man should speak
like that about his wife.
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26
Pioneer Alpine Dairy

Fresh Milk and Cream Delivered to All
Parts of the City
Ind 4O3Z Sunset 1885
1905 Lombard Ave. ..
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

The owner of a $4,000 dinky shingle
mill, for my benefit, contrasted his un-
happy plight M.sh the good fortune Of
his laborers, who, he said, had no in
vestment whatever in the business over
which to watch or to worry. He drew
his sorrows so pathetically that I yielded
to compassion, bowed my head, and as
sumed the attitude of weeping willow.
That afternoon a machine man was
killed by a bursting saw. 1t occurred to
me that the mans life had been in
vested in the industry, and life is the
ultimate sum that anyone can invest.
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

"There's just two things that break
up most happy homes" observed phil
osopher.
whats themH inquired listener,
"Woman's love and dry goods and
mans love of wet goods, b'goshl"
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

Some men are like those oeroplan'S
that sail along we'll enough, il they can
but yet the initial start from the ground
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

Published every Thursday 10y the Com
monwealth Publishing Co. 2l6-2l7 Com.
mercc Building, Everett, Washington.
Anna Agnes Maley, Editor
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

ton in the paper must DO signed and
contain the post office address of the
writer. The publication of the name
OF the writer is optional with the auth
or Matter for publication should reach
this office not later than Tuesday noon.
Address all communications to THE
COMMONWEALTH, 216-217 Commerce
Building, Everett, Washington.
The Commonwealth. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1911-1914, 1912-01-26

Advertising rates upon application.
Publication of legal notices solicited.
Telephones; Sunset 76l, Ind. 1907.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
irag net system OF arrest and invcstiSa

dra gnet system OF arrest and inycstiGa-
ton
At such times hundred arrests OF
more are often made in Il single night.
and in the houses or apartments OF
the persons made prisoners mousetraps
are set to catch all corners. The police
in charge of the traps are strictly en-
Joined to send to the nearest precinct
station house every person caught. no
matter what he may look like and no
matter what plausible account he may
give of himself Revolutionists and
terrorists often wear uniforms. and
man who declares that he is colonel
Of gendarmes or even general of
division may really be Il dangerous
conspirator in disguise. The instruc
tons given to the trap tenders are al
ways implicitly obeyed, and they some
times bring about results of an extraor-
binary and wholly unforeseen charac-
ter
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
WHY He Was Called GOOD Friday"

Alfred Bum, the celebrated English
impresario and operate librettist OF
the last century, was not always In an
amiable frame of mind. and one day
he was seen at rehearsal holding a
wretched super" by the collar and
scolding him savagely. The poor fell
lows fright and distress. says F. J.
Crowest in his biographical anecdotes
of famous musicians, attracted the at
tention of Malibran, the famous pNma
donna. The lady crossed over to the
manager and said:
do you know. shall call you Good
FridayY"
"Why?" he asked.
Because" replied Malibran. you
are such hot cross bun"
oig Mourneo.
"I'm self made man." said the
proud individual.
"Well. you are all right except as to
your head" commented the other part
Of the conversation.
Flows that?"
"The part you talk with is out Of pro-
portion to the part you think with
London Answers.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
Parliamentary "Poppinq."

A member of congress had been pay
ing attention to a young lady for
long while and had taken her to at
tend the house until she was well
posted in the rules. On the last day
of the session as they came out he
bought her bouquet Of flowers and
said to her, May ! offer you my hand
full Of fowers?" She replied promptly
Il move to amend by emitting all after
the word hand" He blushlngiy ac'
cepted the amendment. and they ADOPT
ed it unanimously.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
OBEDIENCE.

We mustn't be in a hurry to
fix and choose our own lot. We
must wait to be guided. We are
led on like the little children by
a way that we know not. 1t is
a vain thought to flee from the
work that God appoints us for
the sake of finding greater bless
ing to our own souls, as If we
could choose FOR ourselves where
we shall find the fullness of the
divine presence instead of seek
ing it where alone it is to be
found, In loving Obedience
George Eliot.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23

TTdppeUs
"JOhn. did YOU post that letter |
gave you this morning."
"Yes. dear" said John without look
ing up from his paper
well. what is your answer?"
"Wh-w what 2"
What is your answer? That letter
was directed to you
"Wh-what do you say? Directed to
me? l didn't notice it,
And as John in Amusement took 1t
out of his pocket to verify his wife's
assertion he saw that he had been
caught again. 1t was not addressed to
him.-Buffalo Express.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23

nuts, copper dust, camphor and anti
mony. 1t is supposed that the water
used for the dye in London has Il great
deal to do with The fine results OBJ
tanned by the use of this dye. The ma
tives of different countries, using their
own processes, obtain better results
with some skins than with Others. but
the American furriers are rapidly COM
ing to the front in handling the various
kinds of peltS.-New York Sun.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
Tho Siierced Pretender.

Bilts-Did you know that the oldest
of Prices seven daughters had eloped:
Siffert-No. How was the old man at
fected? Bilts-Oh. he took on dread
fully at first, then he found out that
every one knew he had bought the
girls railroad ticket.-Judge.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
Cotton and Wool.

Cotton can only be grown in tropical
or semitropical countries. but wool is
mainly product Of temperate regions.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
A Faith Cure,

"Have you ever really known of
cure by faith?"
"Yes. When | was sixteen years old
! fell madly in love with widow Of
thirty. but my mother and father had
faith that l would live if didn't get
her, and l did."-Judge's Library.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
a SINGLE Blow.

You say he died from single bic
administered by himself?"
THAT is just what he said"
"But 1t isn't possible"
"Yes, 1t is"
but how did he do it?"
"Blew out the gas"
"Ohw-London Telegraph.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23

Alice-Which of his letters did you
save for your breach Of promise suit?
Kate-The ones he told me to burn
Boston Transcript.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-05-23
The Worm Turns.

Ocean voyager-Don't the passen-
gers make you tired with the ques-
lions they ask? Captain-Yes, very.
What else is it you want to know?-
Boston Transcript