Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-12-15


clouds of fancy, repeating Latin, running in
a Greek word now and then, and turning
himself loose among many involved figures
of speech. The verdict was against him.
In making the motion for a new trial, Ollie
got this out of his system, IL humbly rise to
move for a new trial: not on my own ac-
count, but because of my client, the innocent
party in this matter. In making my speech,
l let the wings of my imagination fly high.
rose to the circling stars in a blaze of lin
guistic glory. saw at the time that it was
all turkey tracks to your Honor and the jury.
Now feel humble, and if you will grant me
new trial | will bring myself down to the
mental level of the court and the jury
Responded the Judge, "Your motion is
overruled, and fine of five dollars is inn
posed upon you for contempt of court
"For WHAT" asked James.
"For insnuating that this court don't
know Latin and Greek from turkey tracks.
81 shall not appeal from that decision"
replied Ollie with great urbanity. "Your
Honor has at last comprehended me-
HOKE SMITH, the big and bulky Senator
I from Georgia, knew Governor of his
State named Crawford who sent to Wash
ington one of the sincerest recommendations
of man to Office ever made public.
The young man, not taking the trouble to
read the letter, handed it to one of his Sena-
tors. 1t read as follows:
MY DEAR FRIEND.-This will be handed to
you by my young friend John. He has the
greatest thirst for an Office, with the least ca
pacity to fill one, of any fellow you ever saw
GRAHAM B. NICHOL, who being the
- best poker player in the national Capt.
%,1 ofW och,,rto, g
and richest men, was being told one morning
of game the evening before when stranger
had lost an immense sum of money.
"That's always my luck!' lamented
Nichol "Whenever there's a lot Of soup
around, I'm about twelve blocks away with
a fork in my hand
X/HEN Theodore Roosevelt was giving
his testimony before the Clapp COM
mittee that investigated national campaign
contributions, the room in which the hearing
was held was so small that many people
were compelled to stand outside in the cor
ridors with the forlorn hope of getting seat
later on. At one time during the day an
elderly woman, who looked like school
teacher asked question of man who had
become irritated by the delay in getting into
the room. This was the question, "Isn' t
LIldL INC lOIlS -Wllllc1 DUH NlOOSc III luSIC.
mo" replied the irritated one, "He's
just bully
D REPRESENTATIVE STEVENS of Min
~ nesota tells this to illustrate how little
is known of the law by many citizens:
There came into the office Of Western
lawyer a man who was excited because his
wife had left him and he feared she would
run him into debt all over the country.
an that case. said the lawyer. "you had
better post her."
His client, not knowing what posting
meant, said he did not know where she had
gone, and, besides, she was fully as strong as
he, and he did not believe he was able to
post her. The attorney explained that he
meant putting notice in the newspapers
saying, "Whereas, my wife Helen has left
my bed and board without any just"
"But that amt true" interrupted the
client. "She didn't leave my bed. She took
it with her."