The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-04-06
Doing Good

I'm kind OF uneasy about my
health. DOCTOR" said the major. Il
nave been suffering from shooting
pains in my right side. where my
heart is. and all my organs seem out
Of whack in one way or another. SO l
thought Id ask you to examine me
and tell me what's wrong and give
me prescription"
I'll be glad to examine you and
prescribe, Major Standoff." replied the
doctor. when you have settled that
old account of yours. which has been
running for three years. At the last
meeting of our county medical asso.
citation We passed drastic resolutions
forbidding members to have dealings
with certain people. who are nOtort.
ously bad pay. and your name was the
first mentioned in this connection"
"Well, great guns" cried the major.
''That should have to be insulted by .
lanternjawed sawbones right here In
this town, which owes its very exist.
ence to my heroism and self-sacrifice
In the times that tried mems souls!
This surely must be an evil dream
from which l shall presently wake!
It doesn't stand to reason that any
man. much less one horse doctor.
would dare to hand such an insult to
the pioneer who made the wilderness
blossom as the rose!
"Why, sir, I have been the best
friend you ever had since you hung
out your single. I have boosted you
In season and out of season. l took
an interest in you from the first, and
whenever a friend Of mine fell sick I
would say to him: Call on Doctor
Condiment! He Is the most divinely
gifted physician in these parts
"When old John Bonehead fell sick
he was going to send for one of the
old established doctors. but I labored
with him and exhausted all my clio.
quence to get him to send for you.
Now. I ask you, as man to man. did
he send for you on my recommends
ton or did he mott"
HE certainly did. and I've always
felt that 1t was a low trick on your
part. Here I was stranger In q
strange land, a young physician try
INK to establish a practice. and you
unloaded that old deadbeat on me and
nearly broke me up In business! treat
ed him for six months and as soon as
he was able to move he jumped the
town and I haven't had cent from
hira to this day"
"Thats your idea Of gratitude. sir
ID It? When l 60 forth to the hedges
and highways to find patients for you
|, you think l should be responsible FOL
the bills they run up! I suppose 20,
have forgotten who called you III
when old Mrs. Toplofty fell sick
Just 40 soon as I heard Of her illness
nearly foundered myself rushing t.
q telephone to notify you. knowing
that you needed patients. I suppose
you have forgotten that kindness!"
mo. have not forgotten. major
and II It hadn't been for your gra!
hairs I'd have shown my appreciation
with Z wet elm club. I was just get
. ting q footing in some Of the wealth!
!. homes Of the town then. There wal
q mild epidemic Of measles, and wa
: quite busy and the outlook was en-
: couraging. Then you sent me you
|. COMPOUNDED telephone message, and
rushed down to see Mrs. Toplofty, AM
found that she had the smallpox
. When my wealthy patrons learne'
! that I was treating q smallpox patien
they closed their doors to me. Tha
b experience set me back two years
, and now you have the nerve to com
here reminding me Of IT."
well. Of all the shameless ingrat'
+ tude that ever defaced the annals o
our glorious country this 10 the worst
This 10 the reward . man gets TO
|! helping the poor and needy. for strait
, ing bic hind legs rustling around tr,
. Ing 10 DO good! A man may she
blood and sever bic heart-strlpgs tr,
0 Ing to aid struggling young men, an
1 after years they turn and rend him!
. well. you can 30 to thunder Wit
your medical association. I don
suppose you could tell IN attack
. glanders from . lunar eclipse, an!
how, and 20 your diagnosis wouldn
be worth . cent. II had q sick COZ
I wouldn't lot you prescribe for be-
{ The undertaken was telling me onl
. yesterday that he'll have to buy q
extra hearDe II you stay here. SO
bid you good morning"