The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-29
COPERNICUS JONES
 STOCKS THE zoo
Ky CHARLES H. MANDY

Since the day Frank W. Smith. the youthful ex-mayor of Eye ancient elite of Elyton," suggested the establishment of Geological gardens in the city of Bir- mngham, he has received numerous com munications from persons all over the state and county offering to sell animals of all kinds. from three legged chicken to baldheaded calf.
 Yesterday he received in the morning mail four letters from persons trying to dispose of a red headed duck, bandy legged frog, a flee bitten jack rabbit and g. one eyed canary bird. Frank hastened to reply that a Zoo was proposed to be es- tabllshed and not dime museum, As he sat at his desk pondering on the ways and means of securing animals to stock the Zoo he was aroused from his reverie by gentle rap at the outer door, and in response to the invitation to enter the door opened slowly and in walked a rather seedy looking individual His face was wreathed in smiles and growth of red dish whisl1ers, but withal his manner de- noted an abiding faith in himself, while his eyes showed a combination of audac- lty anu SherWdneSS.
 Have I the pleasure, nay. I might say
 the honor. of addressing the Hon. Frank w. Smith of Geological fame?" q am MT. smith,
 T thought could not be mistaken AL l low me to present myself; my name is Jones, name not uncommon, but one am proud to say dates back to the time of | tho
 slowed upon me at the baptismal fount is
 Copernicus, a little unusual possibly, but decidedly distinctive. Copernlcus Jones, sir, at your service"
 The glibness with which Copernicus rat tied this off made Frank little sus- 1 picious and visions of an artistic touch" l floated before his minds eye l What business are you engaged in, MT. Jones?"
 l am ordinarily a philosopher, but at present l have taken up the study of Zoology, and it was to discuss this branch of learning that impelled me to call on you this morning. l have a scheme to un- fold that will set all your troubles at rest in regard to stocking the proposed Geological garden. I can show you a way to gather together the greatest col lection of animals ever assembled in the world"
 T knew it, mentally commented Frank, there's where I get touched" But being so profoundly interested in the Zoo he bade his visitor be seated and unfold his scheme. He went further and gave Copernicus a cigar, which the philosopher lit with much satisfaction. Copernicus settled himself comfortably in his chair and unburdened himself.
 The greatest attraction in a Zoo is un- questionably the monkey cage It is gen orally the largest and the antics and gambols of the monkeys always attract crowd'
 That IS a matter of common knowledge. getting the animals is what is worrying us,'' said Frank.
 Nothing easier. MT. Smith, nothing easier, all you have to do is to corrol the bunch of 'Wilies who hang around the prominent corners of your magnificent city. The kind l mean are those who wear noisy neckties, whose only aim of existence Is to wear fine clothes that daddy has to pay for, who part their
 hair in the middle and ogle the girls as l they pass by. My dear sir. you could land every species of the quadaumana known to the naturalist, including the ape, the chinpanzee and even the orang- outrang.
 Then again, just think of the collection Of tigers, tigerines and tigeretts that Will Agee could contribute to the Zoo Striped ones large ones, small ones; tigers with dim lamps and tigers without any lamps