Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-27

fall lie drinks it for medicinal pur-
l,useS.
sec the state of Massachusetts has
abolished all public drinking cups.
They ,ouid do that ia our town and
nobody would EVER find it out.
When two riva music teachers get
to talking about technique and meth
cd it is time for the innocent by
tande tn steal quietly away like a
thief in the night.
THINGS WI HAVE NEWER SEEN.
I never saw II eat get hit
by u missile thrown at it.
G. NJ. }.
/ never saw Il buck and wing
Who didn't think that he could sing.
j. $.
] never saw "A male quartet
That would stop singing. on a bet.
w. l.. Il.
| never saw Il jugxier who
Did no tricks with q billiard cue.
CLIFF.
| never saw Il wuman who
Couldn't make IL man Jump through.
BUDDY.
! never saw ii white mans hope
Who could upset Jack Johnson's dope.
SAM w.
| never saw a barber who
Could get along without Il chew.
j. r.
] never saw Il chorus maid
Who seemed to be "A bit afraid.
l.. w. j.
| meyer saw a piece OF glass
That amy auto tire could pass.
F. p. ID.
THINGS THAT MAKE LIFE WORTH
LIVING.
Having Il next door neighbour who
owns one of those cute little wooley
dogs that snap at your shins.
Being on the calling list of twenty
five OF thirty life insurance agents.
Having some kind of lady show u
tintype of you when you were five
years old and Wore curls.
Reading a flowery obituary of Il man
who had owed 20, ST for an equal
humble OF wears.
Lending your safety razor to the man
upstairs.
Going on your first automobile ride
of the year and blowing out a tire nine
miles from home.
Having several relatives from out of
town drop in unexpectedly just as You
are starting tor q weekend excursion.
OUR SWAT-THE-FLY SYMPOSIUM.
j. w. writes: 81 am Il good natured
and long suffering nan and l never
0SN - OitN NV VII "a AItIS
when patience ceases to be Il virtue.
Since my wife Joined our COMPOUNDED
Swat-the- Fly club | have been black
and blue from the apex of NY head to
my heels. She is running Il race with
the women in this neighborhood in the
S~wat-the-F1y crusade and she swats
EN- wherever she finds 'em. Most of
the flies that hang round our house
seem to light on me Thu other eve
ming the members of the musticae do
mesticac family were holding Il re-
union of Il convention upon my polished
dome of thought while I was asleep
in my Easy chair. My wife came along
With her swatter. which. by the way.
Is a piece of scantling. and broke up the
convention. ! was out for two hours
and / have Il knob on my head that you
could hang your hat on. You nave got
to stop urging my wife to swat flies OF
I'll have the law on you, darne If l
don't"
G.. Fl. II. says: Your club owes me
$lS. l swatted a fly that was roost-
ing on the curved glass front of a china
cabinet. That's ALL"
AT THE LUNCH COUNTER.
Said a bald headed man to a waitress
See here. young woman. my cocoa's
She %scornfully answered: 81 can't help
that;
Ii the blamed things chilly. put ON
you hat
Said the bald headed man to the wait
"YOung woman. l don't know what
you mean"
The scornful lady replied: You're
green
II it's cold. clamp the lid upon your
bean."
Said the bald headed man: ..Your
phrases roam;
1 get no sense from your slangy
tome"
The scornful maiden replied: Go home
And put a hot water bug on your
DOME
UNAVOIDABLE POSTPONED.
For the benefit of those who doubt
the power of the press, we reproduce
the following notice from the columns
of one Of the Michigan weeklies:
lowing to the OvercrOwded cOndi-
ton of our columns, a lumber of births
and deaths were unavOidably post
pOned this week
FROM THE JACKSONVILLE
CLARION.
The editor OF this great palladium OF
life. liberty and pursuit of happiness
does not want to name no names or to
get personal. but he would like merely
to say that the cross-eyed galoot that
operates the livery. feed and sales sta
bles next to the Hardshell church had
better return the 10 rods OF wire clothes
line that he stole out Of the back yard
adjacent to III sanctOrum me eve-
ming this week. II his identity IL
knOwed and the sleuth rounds of the
law will be placed on his trail. On
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