Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1912-11-14

his rellow-men, nor would he have
been mistaken by near-sighted per-
sons, the myopes. for the Vatican's
dunn height, beardless, slender, but
tough and wiry and enduring. You
may see his prototype on the streets
dozen times day, and you may
also pass him without turning round
for a second view. Young men like
P. A. must be intimately known to
be admired; you did not throw your
arm across his neck, first-off. His
hair was brown and closely clipped
about head that would have gained
the attention Of the phrenologist, II
not that Of the casual passer-by. His
bumps, in the phraseology of that
science. were good ones. For the rest,
he observed the world through a pair
Of kindly, shy, blue eyes.
Young girls, myopic through igno-
rance or Stiffness, seeing nothing be-
yond what the eyes see, seldom gave
him a second inspection; for he did
not know how to make himself at
tractive, and was MORALLY afraid Of
the opposite, or opposing sex. He
could bullyrag sheik out of his cam
els saddle-bags, but petticoats and
lace parasols and small Oxfords had
the same effect upon him that the
prodding stick of small boy has
upon retiring turtle. But many a
worldly-wise woman, drawing out with
tact and kindness the truly beautiful
thoughts Of this young mans soul,
sadly demanded of fate why sweet,
clean boy like this one had not been
sent to her in her youth. You see,
the worldly-wise woman knows that
1t is invariably the lay-fgure and not
Prince Charming that a woman mar
ries, and that matrimony is blind
mans buff in grown-ups.
Many ofIus lay the blame upon our
parents. We shift the burden of won
dering why we have this fault and
lack that grace to the shoulders of
our immediate forbears. We go to
the office each morning denying that
we have any responsibility; we let
the boss do the worrying. But George
never went prospecting in his soul for
any such dross philosophy. He was
grateful for having had so beautiful
mother; proud of having had so
honest sire; and IL either of them
had endued him with false weights he
did his best to even up the balance.
The mother had been as romantic
as any heroine out OF Mrs. Radcliff's
novels, while the father had owned
to as much romance as one generally
finds in a thorough business man,
which is practically none at all. The
very name itself is a bulwark against
the intrusions Of romance. One can
not lift the imagination to the pros
pect of picturing a Jones in ruf1les
and highboots, pinking varlet in the
midriff. 1t smells of sugar-barrels and
cotton,bales, of steamships and rail-
roads, of stolid routine In the Office
and Of placid concern over the daily
news under the evening lamp.
Mrs. Jones, lovely, lettered yet not
worldly, had dreamed OF her boy,
bayed and decorated. marrying the
most distinguished woman in all Eu-
rope. whoever she might be. Mr..
Jones had had no dreams at all, and
had put the boy to work in the ship
ping department a little while after
the college threshold had been crossed,
outward bound. The mother, while
sweet and gentle, had a will, iron un.
der velvet, and when she held out for
Percival Algernon and decent knowl
edge of modern languages, the old
man agreed II, on the other hand,
the boys first name should be George
and that he should learn the business
from the cellar up. There were sew
eral tits over the matter, but at
length truce was declared. 1t was
agreed that the boy himself ought to
have word to say upon a subject
which concerned him more vitality
than any one else. SO, at the age of
fifteen, when he was starting off for
preparatory school, he was advised
to choose for himself. He was an ODE
dent son, adoring his mother and idol
izing his father. He wrote himself
down as George Percival Algernon
Jones, promised to become q linguist
and to learn the rug business from
the cellar up. On the face Of It, 1t
looked like big job; 1t all depended
upon the boy.
The first day at school his misery
began. He had signed himself as
George p. A. Jones, no small diplo-
macy for a lad; but the two initials,
standing up like dismantled pines in
the midst Of uninteresting landscape,
reused the curiosity OF his school
mates. Boys are boys the world over.
and possess finesse In cruelty that
only Indians can match; and it did
not take them long to unearth the IA
tai secret. For three years he was
Percy Algy. and not only the boys
laughed, but the pretty girls snig-
gered. Many time he had returned
to his dormitory decorated (not in
accord with the fond hopes of his
mother) with swollen ear, or a