The Washington herald., 1912-01-30

President Taft arrived in ConeyviIIe,
Kans.. on his Western tour last summer,
ten minutes late. In order for the local
committee to carry out their plans for
their large guest, It was necessary to
keep hustllng. Congressman Philip
Campbell. OF that district was superin-
tendent of the days doings. and he saw
that Mr.. Taft and party were rushed at
once to the CofTeyviIle Country Club for
breakfast.
The waitress who brought waffies to
the President was a person OF poise. but
the other Mattresses caught the excite
ment OF II all. and the result was that
the President was served ahead OF any
body else. Campbell didn't notice this.
but when he saw the President take his
fork and impale the last bite Of waff1e,
he leaned over and said:
Mr.. President, there is no time TO lose.
The moment you are through just rise
and then everybody else will rise, and We
shall proceed"
So in a moment the President laid down
his napkin and arose-and breakfast was
over for all hands.
Then Campbell saw for the first time
that Secretary Hilles was In the act OF
buttering his first consignment of hot
wafies, and Archie Butt. the Presidents
aid. had got no further than putting on
the maple sirup.
A day or two ago Hilses and Butt met
Campbell over at the White House and
recalled their breakfastless morn in COT
feyville.
We're going TO arrange for a big ban
quet. with you as the chief guest" re-
marked HiIles. and just when you're
lifting the first oyster to your mouth,
we're going to have you called to the
phone. When you return the banquet Will
be all cleared away"
An automobile salesman. newly arrived
in Washington. was tipped OF the other
day by sou;e local Merry Andrew that
Representative Bill Cox. OF Indiana,
was thinking OF buying a big limousine
Cox Is the man who arose in the House
last spring and remarked that he never
had ridden in one OF the Internal things.
referring. you understand, to automo-
biIes, and that with Gods help he
never would. When one recalls that. IT
should be quite evident that whoever
sicced the auto salesman on Cox must
have been, ineed. a comicaI fellow.
Be that as II may. when the salesman
got bis tip about Cox. he adjusted his
katydid-like goggles, cranked up, and has
tened Immediately to Cox's Office.
Cox saw at once. from the trim OF the
mans beard. that he was either an auto
mobile salesman or a painless dentist,
and was prepared for him.
NO" said Cox. Il can't make up my
mind which make to buy. so I'm going
to wait may wait about forty years
while look over the different catalogues,
examine the various kinds OF wind shield,
and think IL over. In the meanwhile
you might go and talk to Senator Jer
Davis, or Senator Joseph Bailey. Even at
this moment one or the other, or both,
may be about to buy a car"
Bailey. you know. is president and
Davis is chairman OF the executive COM
mittee OF the Automobile Haters' Asso-
citation OF America.
Senator O'Gorman. OF New York, a Vice
Presidential possibility, gives promise Of
becoming our leading advocate of Sena-
torial brevity. ConcisenesS seems to ba
chief O'Gorman characteristic So far.
his longest speech in the Senate has been
about eight minutes. The average would
be less than four minutes At the Jack
son Day banquet. where he presided as
toastmaster. OGorman held his opening
speech down TO an even four minutes
and did not devote more than two SEN