davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02

| word. hoping thus to impress her
nephew. But he was SO, busy keeping
one eye on her and one on the little
boy on the other porch, that he did not
have time to use his ears at all and SO
did not hear one word.
Leaving his camp fires burning to
| deceive the enemy, he stole around by
a circuitous route, fell upon the Brit
| ish and captured"
| Billy held up his hands to catch a
ball which Jimmy made believe to
| throw
Miss Minerva still read on, uncon-
scions of her nephew's inattention:
THE suffering at Valley Forge had
been intense during the winter"
Billy made a pretense behind his
aunts upright back of throwing ball
while the other child held up two fat
little hands to receive it. Again he
laughed aloud as Jimmy spat on his
hands and ground the imaginary ball
into his hip.
She looked at him sternly over her
glasses:
What makes you so silly?" she In
quired, and without waiting for reply
went on with her reading; she was
nearing the close now and she read
carefully and deliberately.
And he was chosen the first presi-
dent of the United States
Billy put his hands to his ears and
wriggled his fingers at Jimmy, who
promptly returned the compliment.
HE had no children of his own, so
he is called the Father of his Coun-
! try
Miss Minerva closed the book,
turned to the little boy at her side,
and asked:s
who was this great and good man,
William"
Jesus was his ready answer, in an
appropriately solemn little voice.
why, William Green Hill" she ex-
claimed in disgust. What are you
thinking of? | don't believe you heard
one word that read"
Billy was puzzled; he was sure she
had said Born in manger.' II didn't
hear her say nothin' bout bulrushes,' .
he thought, $50 It amt Moses; she
didn't say log cabin so t amt Aba
ham Lincoln; she didn't say Thirty
cents look down upon you,' SO t amt
Napolyon. I sho' wish I'd paid ten
ton"
"Jesus!" his aunt was saying, born
in Virginia and first president of the
United States!" a
George Washin'ton, L. aimed to
say" triumphantly screamed the little
boy, who had received his cue.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02

yuh? What dat y all got now?" AS
she, drew nearer smile of recognition
and appreciation overspread her big
good-natured face. Then she burst
into loud, derisive laugh. What y
all gwine to. do wild Miss Minerals old
bustle?" she inquired. "Y' all sho' am
de contaritest chillens in dis here cop.
peration.'
"Bustle?" echoed Billy. What s a
bustle?"
"Dat-ar s bustle-dat s what g a
hustle. Ladies useto wear 'em cause
dey so stylish, to make they dresses
stick out in the back. Come on home,
Jimmy, fore yuh ketch de yaller jandis
er de epizootics; yo' ma tol' yuh to
stay right at home"
well, m coming, amt I?'' scowled
the little boy. Mama need mt to
know nothing thout you tell"
would you take yo' mama's pres
ent now, JIMMY" asked Billy; you
amt earnt 1t.
'ewonld MT youT asked Jimmy,
doubtfully.
Nav, 1 would MT, 'thout to1'.her. "
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02
Lite Sentence.

The marquis of Queensberry, apro-
pos of the long sentence of Foulke Il.
Brandt, said at a dinner in New York:
1T reminds me of an incident in
London. A certain peer drove in a
taxi cab to Westminster and, wien he
got out, gave the driver very small
tip.
1.-THE driver mistook him for men,
Der of the house of commons and
snarled:
az hope you get turned out next
election and don't never get in again.
Don't worry, my friend said the
peer, as he set off for the house OF
lords Don't worr1-rm in fo- life.' :"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02

IAN l amt a-goin' to be sponsible
neither" and he poked out swollen
jaw for Jimmy to touch.
Ikey Rosenstein at this moment was
spied by the two little boys as he was
walking jauntily by the gate.
you better keep way fom here,
Goose-Grease," Jimmy yelled at him;
you better get on the other side the
street Billy here S got the mumps
an he lemme tech 'em SOS l can get
'em, SOS my papa and mama IL lemme
do just perzactly like / want to; but
you're a Jew and Jews amt got no
business to have the humps, so you
better get way. l paid Billy bout a
million dollars worth to femme tech
his mumps," he said proudly. Get
way; you can't have EN-"
Ikey had promptly stopped at the
gate.
'What'n you take, Billy, to femme
get 'em?" he asked, his commercial
spirit at once aroused.
'What'n you gimme?" asked he of
the salable commodity, with an eye to
bargain.
key pulled out piece of Irvine and
blue glass bead from his pocket and
offered them to the child with the
humps. These received a contemptu-
GUS rejection.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02
MISS MINERVA I'D
tAA and XKA
SyWWILIIAM GREEN HIL9
BY FRANCES BOYD CALHOUN.
by Reilly & Britton Coz

"well, | reckon not. Git back; don't
you tech 'em; you amt OF 'nough to
have EN-"
Billy's head was swathed in huge,
white cloth; his usually lean little
cheeks were pulled out till he resem-
bled a young hippopotamus, and his
pretty gray eyes were almost invisible.
"You better git way f'om me an
don't tech 'em, like tells you," he re-
iterated Aunt Minerva say you amt
never had 'em an she say fer me to
make you keep way f'om me cause
you amt a OF chile like what | is"
You amt but six" retorted, angry
Jimmy land I'll be six next month:
you all time trying to 'suade little boys
to think you're bout a million years
old. You bout the funniest looking
kid they Isl
Billy Electrically touched a distend-
ed cheek. These here is mumps,'' he
said impressively; IAN when you got
'em you can make grown folks do per-
zactly what you want 'em to- Aunt
Minerva IS In the kitchen right now
maxim me 'lasses custard If I'll be
good an stay right in the house an
don't come out here in the yard an
don't give you the humps. Course /
can't tech that custard now cause |
done come out here an it amt homer
BILE; but she's maxim it jes' the same.
tech EN-; you too little to have EN-"
Are they easy to ketch?" asked the
other little boy eagerly; femme jest
tech 'em one time, Billy
cit way, I tell you," warned the
latter with a superior air. To increase
Jimmy's envy he continued: Grown
folks tries to see how rice they can be
to chillens what's got the mumps. Aunt
Minerva amt been impedent to me to-
day; she femme do jest bout like l
please; it sho' is one time you can
make grown folks step lively" He
looked at Jimmy meditatively. 1T sho
is plumb pity you amt OF chile
like what [ is an can't have the
humps. Don't you come amp closter to
me-" he again warned, you too little
to have EN-"
I'll give you five pewees If you'll
lemme tech 'em SOS | can get 'em,"
pleaded the younger boy.
Billy hesitated. You mighty lit
tie" he began.
"And my stoney," said the other
child eagerly
IF you was oil boy" said Billy,
1T wouldn't make no diffunce; | don't
want to make yo' ma mad an Aunt
Minerva say for me to keep way rom
you any how, though / didn't make her
no promises"
Jimmy grew angry.
You're the stingiest Peter they is,
William Hill" he cried; won't let no.
body tech your old mups. My cousin
in Memphis S got the measles; you
just wait till | git EN-"
Billy eyed him critically.
eff you was OIL" he was beginning.
Jimmy thought he saw signs of his
yielding.
And I'll give you my china egg,
too" he quickly proposed.
"Well jest one TECH" agreed Billy;
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02

You can do perzactly like you
please when you got the mumps,' in
simulated Jimmy, who had seemingly
allied himself with Billy as a partner
in business; grown folks bound to do
what little boys want 'em to when you
got the humps"
Ikey increased his bid by the stub
of a lead pencil, but it was not until he
had parted with his most cherished
pocket possessions that he was at last
allowed to place a gentle finger on the
protuberant cheek.
Two little girls with their baby-bug-
giles were seen approaching.
&c way from here, Frances, you and
Lima" howled Jimmy. Don't you come
in here; me and Billy s got the humps
and you-all r. little girls and ought
n to have 'em. Don't you come near
us; they re ketching."
The two little girls Immediately
opened the gate, crossed the yard, and
stood in front of Billy They inspected
him with admiration; he bore their
critical survey with affected unconcern
and Indifference, as befitted one who
had attained such prominence.
Don't tech en- he commanded,
waving them off as he leaned grace
fully against the fence.
Il teched EN- boosted the younger
boy. 'What'll you all give us il we
II LET you put your finger on 'em?"
81 amt a-goin' to charge little girls
nothin' said the gallant Billy as he
proffered his swollen jowl to each in
turn.
A little darkey riding a big black
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02

Come. William" she called. Il am
waiting for you"
Jimmy went back to his own porch
and the other boy joined his kinswo-
man.
why wouldn't Jimmy conner" she
asked.
"He-he ART feeling very WELL"
was the considerable rejoinder.
"Once there was little boy who
was born in Virginia" began Miss
Minerva.
Born in a manger," repeated the
inattentive little boy to himself, Il
knows who that was" So, this impor-
tant question settled in his mind, he
gave himself up to the full enjoyment
of his chum and to the giving and re-
ceiving secret signals, the pleasure of
which was decidedly enhanced by the
fear of imminent detection.
Father, | cannot tell lie, | did it
with my little hatchet-" read the
thin monotonous voice at his elbow.
Billy laughed aloud-at that minute
Jimmy was standing on his head way
ing two chubby feet in the air
William" said his aunt reprovingly,
peering at him over her spectacles, Il
don't see anything to laugh at, and
she did not, but then she was in ignor-
ance of the little conspiracy.
HE was a good and dutiful son and
he studied his lessons SO well that
when he was only seventeen years old
he was employed to survey vast tracts
of land in Virginia"
Miss Minerva emphasized every
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02

well, | II tell her / just coined
over minute to see bout Miss Mi
nerva's bustle," he agreed as he again
tumbled over the fence.
A little negro boy, followed by a
! tiny white dog, was passing by Miss
Minerals gate
Billy promptly flew to the gate and
hailed him., Jimmy, looking around to
see that Sarah Jane had gone back to
the kitchen, as promptly rolled over
the fence and joined him.
'Lemme see yo' dog" said the for
mer.
"Ain't he cute?" said the latter.
The little darkey picked up the dos
and passed it across the gate.
II wish he was mine" said the
smaller child, as he took the soft, fluffy
little ball in his arms; what II you
take for him?"
l. The negro boy had never seen the
dog before, but he Immediately accept
ed the ownership thrust upon him and
Unanswered without hesitation, "I'll take
a dollar for her."
| 81 amt got but nickel Billy, amt
you got 'nough money to. put with my
nickel to make dollar?"
I NAV; amt got red cent"
/ ~ II tell you what We'll do sug-
gested Jimmy; well trade you base
ball mask for him. My mama's going
to gimme a new mask cause | all
time stay at home, so we'll trade you
our old one. Go get it, Billy"
Thus commanded Billy ran and
picked up the hustle where it lay neg
lected on the grass, and handed it to
the quasi-owner Of the puppy. The deal
was promptly closed and a black little
negro went grinning down the street
| with Miss Minerals ancient hustle
tied across his face, leaving behind
him curly-haired dog.
"Ain't he SWEET" said Jimmy, hug
ging the fluffy white ball close to his
breast, 1--WE got to name him, Billy"
Les name her Perjury Pearline,"
was the suggestion of the other joint
owner.
"He amt going to be name nothing
at all like that" declared Jimmy; "you
all time got to name our dogs the
scalawaggest name they is. He s 60
ing to be name Sam Lamb cause
he s my partner
"She's girl dog" argued Billy, IAN
she can't be nam no mans name. If
she could l ID call her Major"
II don't care what sort o. dog he is,
girl or boy, he IS going to be name
Sam Lamb Pretty Sam! Pretty
Sam!" and he fondly stroked the little
animals soft head.
Here, Perjury! Here, Peruny!"
and Billy tried to snatch her away.
The boys heard whistle; the dog
heard it, too. Springing from the little
boys arms Sam Lamb Perjury Pearline
ran under the gate and flew to meet
her master, who was looking for her.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02

horse was galloping by; Jimmy hailed
and halted him.
you better go FAST" he shrieked.
Me and Billy and Frances and Lina's
got the mumps and you amt got no
business to have 'em cause you re a
niger, and you better take your horse
to the lib'ry stable cause he might
ketch 'em, too"
The negro boy dismounted and
hitched the horse to the fence. Il
gotter little tarrapim-" he began in
sinuatingly.
And thus it came to pass that there
was an epidemic of mumps in the lit
tie town of Covington, and William
Green Hill grew rich in marbles, in
tops, in strings, in toads, in chewing
gum, and in many other things which
comprise the pocket treasures of little
boys.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02
COFFEE HURTS
One In Three.

It is difficult to make people believe
person out of every three, but people
are slowly finding it out, although
thousands of them suffer terribly be-
fore they discover ne fact
A New York hotel man says: Each
time after drinking coffee / became
restless, nervous and excited, so that I
was unable to sit five minutes in one
place, was also inclined to vomit and
suffer from loss of sleep, which got
worse and worse.
"a lady said that perhaps coffee was
the cause of my trouble, and suggested
that / try Postum, / laughed at the
thought that coffee hurt me, but she
insisted so hard that I finally had
some Postum made. / have been US.
ing it in place of coffee eve. since, for
noticed that all my former nervous
ness and irritation disappeared. be-
gan to sleep perfectly, and the Postum
tasted as good or better than the old
coffee, so what was the use of stick
ing to beverage that was injuring
me?
zone day on an excursion up the
country / remarked to a young lady
friend on her greatly improved appear.
ance. She explained that some time
before she had quit using coffee and
taken to Postum. She had gained a
number of pounds and her former pail
pitation Of the heart, humming in the.
ears, trembling OF the hands and legs
end other disagreeable feelings had
disappeared. She recommended me to
quit coffee and take Postum and was
very much surprised to find that 1 had
already made the change.
"She said her brother had also re-
ceived great benefits from leaving of
coffee and taking on Postum" There's
q reason"
Ever read the above Ietters A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full OF human
interest.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02
CHAPTER XIII.
The Infant Mind Shoots.

Miss Minerva had bought book for
Billy entitled Stories of Great and
Good Men," which she frequently read
to him for his education and improve
ment. These stories related the prin-
cipal events in the lives of the heroes
but never mentioned any names, al
ways asking at the end, Can you tell
me who this man WASP
Her nephew heard the stories so
often that he had some expression or
incident by which he could identify
each, without paying much attention
while she was reading.
He and his aunt had just settled
themselves on the porch for a reading.
Jimmy was on his own porch cutting
up funny .capers, and making faces for
the other child's amusement.
"Lemme go over to Jimmy's, Aunt
Minerva" pleaded her nephew, IAN
you can read to me tonight. I'd a
heap ruther not hear you read right
now. 1t II make my belly ache"
Miss Minerva looked at him severe
ly.
William" she enjoined, don't you
want to be smart man when you
grow up?"
"Yes, M" he replied, without much
enthusiasm. We'll, jeS' femme ask
Jimmy to come over here an set on
the other slider you willis you read. He
amt never hear bout them tales, an
l spec he ID like to come"
Very we'll" replied his fiattered and
gratified relative, "call him over"
Billy went to the fence, where he
signaled Jimmy to meet him.
Aunt Minerva say you come over
an listen to her read some er the pref
ties tales you ever hear" he said, as
if comforting a great favor.
Nav, sirree-bob!" was the impolite
response across the fence, them bout
the measliest tales they is. I'll come
if she IL read my Uncle Remus book"
please come on" begged Billy, drop
ping the patronizing manner that he
had assumed, in hope of inducing his
chum to share his martyrdom. "You
know Aunt Minerva d die In her
tracks fore she d read Uncle Remus.
You ii like these-here tales mother
sight better anyway. I IL give you
my stoney if you'll come"
Nav; you amt going to get me in
no such box as that. If she d just
read seven or eight hours would Mt
mind; but she II get you where she
wants you and read bout a million
hours. | know Miss Minerva"
Billy's aunt was growing impatient.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02
CHAPTER xxI.-Continued.

Nav, l amt neither objected the
male member of the chain-gang, Il
done cut my woman with razor
cause | see her racking down the
street like a proud coon with another
gent, like what Sarah James brother
telled Inc he done at the picnic"
The children played happily together
for half an hour, Billy and Lima COM
manding, and the prisoners, entering
thoroughly into the spirit of the game,
according prompt obedience to their
BOSSES At last the captives wearied
of their role and clamored for an ex-
change Of parts.
'All right" agreed Lima. Get the
key, Billy, and we II be the chain
gang"
Billy put his right hand in his pocket
but found no key there; he tried the
other pocket with the same success;
he felt in his blouse, he looked in his
cap, he jumped up and down, he near
ly shook himself to pieces all without
avail; the key had disappeared as if
by magic.
81 berlieve " all done los that
key" concluded he.
Maybe it dropped on the ground, -
said Frances.
They searched the yard over, but
the key was not to be found
well, if that amt just like you,
Billy" cried Jimmy, you all time per-
posing to play chain-gang and you all
time lose the key"
Lima grew indignant
you proposed this yourself, Jimmy
Garner" she said; 1--WE never would
have thought of playing chain-gang
but for YOU"
ut looks like we can't never do any
thing at ALL" moaned Frances,
'"thout grown FOLKS We got to know
bout it,
Yes, and laugh fit to pop theirselfs
open," said her feliow-prisoner. 81
can't never pass by Owen Gibbs and
Len Hammer now 'thout they laugh
just like idjets and grin just like pole
CATS
Il amt never, hear tell of pole-cat
grinnin'," corrected Billy, che jes smell
worser N what a billy goat do
''It is Glossy cats that grim ex-
planned Lima.
Look like folks would get 'em lot
of pole-cats stead O. chillens always
hafto be wearing assfetty bags round
their makes, SO S they can keep off
whooping cough said Frances.
You can't wear pole-cat roun' yo'
Make" grinned Billy.
And Len Hammer all time now ask
: ing me-" Jimmy continued, when I'm
going to wear Sarah James co'set to
Sunday school Grown folks bout the
lunaticbest things they is. Amt you
going to unlock this chain, Billy?' he
demanded.
What I got to unlock it within
asked Billy.
AS Jimmy's father was taking the
crestfallen chain-gang to the black
smith shop to have their letters re-
moved, they had to pass by the livery
stable; and Sam Lamb, bent double
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02

Billy sullenly gave her the promise
and she went back to her baking.
THAT s always the way now" he
said, meeting his little neighbor at the
fence, ever since Aunt Minerva got
onto this-here pro1nisin' business,
| DON have no freedom t all. 1t s Will
| liam, promise me this an it s Will
liam, don't forget yo' promise now,
tell / s jes' plumb sick n tired of it.
She know l amt goin back on my
word an she jes' nachelly gifts the
vantage of me; che bout the hardest
oman to manage / ever seen sence
g born"
81 can nearly all time make my
mama do anything most if | JUS
keep on trying and keep on a-begging, .
Dragged the other boy; Il just say
May |, mama? and she II all time
| say, No, go way from me and lemme
lone, and | just keep on, May l
mama? May I, mama? May |, mama?'
and toreckly she ii say, Yes, go on
and femme read in peace"
Aunt Minerva won't give in much y
said Billy. when she say No, Will
liam,' t amt no use t all to beg her;
you jest wastin' yo' breath. When she
| put her foot down it got to go just like
she say; she sho' do like to have her
own way better n any oman ! ever
see"
"She bout the mannishest woman
they is" agreed Jimmy. "She got
you under her thumb, Billy. l don
see what Womans re made fo' if you
can't beg EN- into things. / would MT
let no old spunky Miss Minerva get
the best of me that way. Come on,
anyhow"
NAV, | can't come,' was the
gloomy reply; eff she d jest toll me
not to, l couldn'er went, but she made
me promise, an / amt never goin'
back on my word. You come over to
see me-"
II can't" came the answer across
the fence; II IN earning me baseball
mask. l done already earnt me a mitt.
My mama don'ttnever make me prom
Use her nothing, she just pays me to
be good. That S huccome / m bout
to get 'ligion and go to the mourner's
bench. She s gonesup town now and
if | don't go outside the yard while
she s gone, she s going to gimme a
baseball mask. You got ball what
you bringed from the plantation, and
| II have a bat and mitt and mask
and we can play ball some. Come on
over just little while; you amt earn
ing you nothing like what I'm do
ing"
Nav; l promis her not to an
amt ever goin' to break my promise"
well, then, Mr.. Promiser," said
Jimmy, "go get your ball and We'll
th'ow cross the fence. | can't find
mine"
Billy kept his few toys and play
things in a closet, which was full of
old plumber. AS he reached for his
ball something fell at his feet from a
shelf above. He picked it up, md ran
excitedly into the yard.
Look, Jimmy" he yelled, here's a
baseball mask found in the closet"
Jimmy, foTgetful of the fact that he
was W Ne pdlu lOI SldylHS dt HoHhe,
Immediately rolled over the fence and
ran eagerly toward his friend. They
examined the article in question with
great care.
ut looks perzactly like mask"
announced Jimmy after thorough i'm
spection, "and yet it don't" He tried
it on. 1T don't seem. to fit your face
right" he said. d
Sarah Jane was bearing down upon
them "Come back nome dis minute,
Jimmy!'' she shrieked, want to ketch
some mo- contiguous 'seases,. don't
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02

for the wits are very difficult There
Is nothing to do 100 times, or SO times:
II is not something to which one can
give 20 minutes the first thing in the
morning and then go the. rest of the
day. Socrates. who was the Sandow
of mental exercise, kept his pupils at
it pretty much of the time. There is
one phase of it which is especially
hard: This is the exercise of ones
rights, Unexercised rights are much
worse than unexercised. musclesJ
Thus. after voting. we are ordinarily
mentally stiff and sore for several
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1912-05-02
CHAPTER XIV.
Education and Its PeriIs.

1t was warm day in early August
and the four children were sitting con-
tentedly in the swing. They met al
most every afternoon now, but were
generally kept under strict surveil-
lalce by Miss Minerva.
a. T won't be long fore we II all
hafto go to school," remarked Frances,
"and / II be mighty sorry; | wish we
did MT ever hafto go to any old
school"
II wisht we knowed how to read
an write when we s born" said Bill
ly IF l was God d make all my
babies SO IS they is already dedicated
when they gifts born. Reckon If we