Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1912-06-21
.were you ever a broken-hearte1

Were you ever a broken-hearteS
man, porter?"
always, sah."
did you ever put your trust IN 6
false-hearted woman?"
Often, sah.''
"Nas she ever true to you, por
ter?'
Never, sah."
PORTER, we are partners in mis-
sis-ery'
And he wrung the rough, black hand
with a solemnity that embarrassed
the porter almost as much as it would
have embarrassed the passenger him.
self if he could have understood what
he was doing. The porter disengaged
himself with patient but hasty:
I'm afraid you'll have to 'scuse me
I got to hep the other passengers on
bode."
Don't let me keep you from your
duty. Duty is the-the-" But he
could not remember what duty was.
and he would have dropped off to
sleep. if he had not been startled by
q familiar voice which the porter had
luckily escaped.
"Pawtah! Pawtah! Can't you raise
this Lighter rather cant you lower
It? Pawtah! This light is so in
formally dim I can't read"
To the Englishman's intense amaze
ment his call brought to him not the
porter. but a rising moon with the
profound query:
"Whass a Ill thing like dim light,
when the light of your life has gone
out?'
81 beg your pardon?"
Without further invitation, the
mammoth descended on the English
mans territory.
I'm a broken-hearted man, Mr.
Mr--I didn't get your name
"Er-ah-I dare say
Thanks. will sit down" He lift
ed a great carry-all and airily tossed
1t into the aisle. set the Gladstone
on the lap of the Infatuated English
man, and squeezed into the seat o.
posite. making sad mix-up OF knees.
"My names Wellington. Ever hear
of iii Jimmie Wellington? That's
me-
ANY relation to the Duke?"
"Nagh!"
He no longer interested Mr.. Wedge
wood. But Mr.. Wellington was not
aware that he was being snubbed. He
went right on getting acquainted:
Are you married, Mr.-Mr.-7"
mol"
My heartfelt Congratulations.
Hang on to your luck. my boy. Don't
let any female take it away from you
He slapped the Englishman on the
elbow amiably, and his prisoner was
too stifled with wrSth to emit more
than one feeble "Pawtah!"
Mr.. Wellington unused on aloud:
"Oh, if | had only remained single.
But she was so beautiful and she
swore to love, honor and obey. Mrs.
Wellington Is queen among women,
mind you, and l have nothing to say
against her eXcek that she has the
temper of tarantula." He italicized
the word with a light fillip of his left
hand along the back Of the seat he
did not notice that he filliped tho
angry head of Mr.. IRA Lathrop in the
next seat. He went on with his por-
trait of his wife. she has the
Extravaganza Of a sultana"--another
flip for Mr.. Lathrop-"the zhealousy
of cobra, the Righteousness OF a
humming bird" Mr.. Lathrop was glar-
ing round like a man-eating tiger. but
Wellington talked on. "She drinks.
swears and smokes cigars, otherwise
she's fine-a queen among women
Neither this amazing vision of wom-
ankind, nor this beautiful example OF
longing for confession and sympathy
awakened response in the English.
mans frozen bosom. His only action
was another violent effort to disengage
his cramped knees from the knees OF
his tormentor; his only comment a
vain and weakening, cry for help,
"Pawtah! Pawtah!"
Wellington's bleary. teary eyes We're
lighted with triumph. Finally saw
] couldn't stand 1t any longer so
bought tic-hic-et to Reno. l stab
lish residensh in six monfths-get a
divorce--no shcandal. Even m'own
wife won't know anything about it."
The Englishman was almost attract
ed by this astounding picture of the
divorce laws in America. 1t sounded
sa barbarically quaint that he leaned
forward TO hear more, but Mr.. yelling
toms hand, like mischievous run
away, had wandered back into the
shaggy locks atop Of Mr.. Lathrop. His