davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26
DON'T TALK HARD 1dJCK.

Some excellent advice for agricul-
turists is given in the current issue of
Farm and Fireside, a weIl-knowu ag-
r1cultural journal. as follows:
Plan to do things this year, Dent
be content to raise just rs bushels of
corn to the acre because that is the
United States record for the past ten
years. Don't stop at 25 bushels. the
average farm value of which for the
past ten years has been but 1885.
Why, look at 15-year-old Jerry IT.
Moore, the champion corn-grower.
who produced 22s bushels and 8 pecks
on one acre, which netted him $1,000.
Don't be content to grow but So BUSH
els of spuds to the acre because that
is the ten-year average of the country,
with farm value per acre of 4212.
Why, bless your old soul, Mr.. Sturgis
of Wyoming grew ga bushels and 4s
pounds of spuds on one acre, which
Melted STA after paying expenses.
Some difference, Ell? Well, L guess.
r. A. Chisholm and r. C. Nisbet of
Colorado produced s4715 bushels On
one acre. One of the ranchers in my
county, here in Colorado, produced
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26

fathers tree" He climbed up with a
quick movement and placed himself
beside her before Joan could gasp in
dignantly:
your grandfathers tree, indeed II
is my very own grandmother tree
and she did all her counting under it
on that very BENCH Joan informed
the young mans back, but she didn't
marry the man."
He turned about, having extricated
her ankle from the crutch and gazed
back at her.
I'm that CASE he informed her, lit
was your grandmother who Tilted my
grandfather because he lost all his
money and had to sell the Lamberth
estate"
"she did no such thing" retorted
Joan. "She gazes at his miniature
every day in this world She cast
quick glance at him. st know now"
she exclaimed. you look exactly like
that miniature"
my grandmother was very hand
some" laughed young Lamberth; then
growing serious again, he continued:
when he sent me to England he tolc
me very particularly to look for this
tree, which he said bore the best ap-
pies in the whole orchard also to look
closely to see his initials carved witt
those of the only girl he ever loved
when the estate was cut up into
building lots" said Joan, taking .ur
the thread of the story, my grand
mother made a bid for this especial
piece because it had that tree on it."
81 have carved my initials on It,"
said Lamberth. land they look a bit
lonesome" His eyes met hers ap-
pealingly.
I'VE will go in now and have tea
and a proper introduction from my
grandmother, and after that we will
discuss whose initials would look well
entwined with yours"
THAT discussion will be short.
Come" he said, give me your hands
want to- help you down from the ap-
pie blossoms" -(Copyright 1912 by AS
ISOLATED Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26
.AYHAWKER JOTS

Among those present at Paola is
Junior Petefish.
An advertisement in the Plum Creek
column Of the Miami Republican:
Chinch bugs for sale cheap.
When preachers and editors tell the
plain truth in obituaries, a whole lot
of people will begin to live better lives,
thinks the Marquette Tribune.
Some more excellent advice from the
Blue Mound Sun: In burning the
bridge behind you, use discretion. You
may find it necessary to retreat.
A real old tight wad in town, re-
ports the Pratt Union, talks a lot
but keeps such a firm grip on his
money that it cannot say word.
Election betting begins, says the
WINFIELD Courier, Some people get
than they would out of money earned
by days work.
If Stubs should be elected United
States senator, do you suppose, asks
the Lincoln Sentinel. that he would
send Dave Leahy to Washington tic
perform the duties of that office?
Jess Napier, of the Newton Kansan,
is authority for the statement that w,
B. Trousdale of that city has four
sections OF wheat IN western Kansas
from which he has just harvested
100, 900 bushels. He also tells of a farm
er near Kingman whose wheat aVeraS-
ed Sc bushels, and another in the same
locality who only got 46 bushels to the
acre, cause hail damaged his crop.
And Jess used to have a pretty fair
for truth and veracity, too.
Record.
: Bully for the Mules chortles the
Soldier Clipper and it explains: Fri
day afternoon Soldier was as quiet as
a cemetery. If anyone had happened
on the streets, he would have declared
that this was a deserted village, but
to the relief of the awful quiet spell,
from the north right down Main
street came a span of mules with the
front gear of a wagon hanging to
them. Instantly, as if by magic, from
every direction, came men and boys
running to the rescue of the mules,
which by the way never need any res
cuing, for they will take care of them
selves. When the mules got south of
the brick store they turned in on the
picnic grounds and were soon eating
grass. On investigation of the cause
Of the excitement a load of alfalfa,
with John William Cline lying under
It. was found in front of the George
Peck residence. No damage.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26
by TIE WAY

Friend Collville is running this de-
partment for vice president. Thar u
the potter way of disposing or a sur
plus friend, but is not highly recon-
mended for general USE The easiest
quickest system is to hit him on the
head with an axe just before pushing
him into deep deserted well.
When a newspaper man finds his
shirt torn, he invariably observes that
his laundry must dry the clothes on a
barbwire fence But he knows, the
while, that it is because the DANCED
shirt is the victim of old age
Postmaster Rodgers boasts that he has
been in ten wrecks and escaped unin-
jured. We can beat that. We were in
ten wrecks which were all grouped I'M
der one tent, and our total loss was:
one glove, three drops OF blood ana
"a hours.
The reformers are awfully busy just
now, but it is to be hoped that after the
primary they will find time to launch
a Popular Demand for colder ice Lo-
cal manufacturers have been putting
it all over the public this summer. The
ice isn't nearly as cold as it was last
winter.
North Side Robert is an economist.
He uses his overcoat for warming pur-
poses in winter, and in the summer
as a bath robe. turkish bath, I'M
doubtedly.)
Speaking of hosiery, (dld anyone mem
ton hosiery?J the tendency in hosiery
styles is all to the thin and airy. But
the idea is by no means new: In an
old magazine we read of an artist, Who,
by reason of his art, synonym Tor
poverty, was unable to purchase the
fancy socks affected at that time. So
he shaved his legs and painted on a
pair of the most fashionable kind. And
it is said that he used thin paint, at
that.
The hot weather is our only excuse
for calling attention to the two Ham
mond, Ind, gents who were injured IN
the melee. There is nothing remark
able about the news item except the in
ference that the melee in question was
a partnership affair. But, maybe the re-
porter who wrote it was up against
this proposition: Can YOU slip US the
plural of "melee?''
There is some advantage to being
small and Insignificant. 1t takes less
cloth to clothe a little man, and less
time to count thesvote in Rhode Island.
Dodd C: We don't care a whoop
whether or not Bruce Colquhoun is the
Hawk, but do wish Meredith would
come out here and see If he can find
out whether some of the Kansas poll
ticians are Republicans or Hubbard
squashes.
We gather from the state news that
crops are going to be better than the
farmers expected-and that they ex-
pected they would be.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26
HUMOR OF TIE DlY

Peerless Maiden.-Tmpecuniou Noble
man-Sn, understand you have a peer
less daughter? Old Moneybags-Yes and
you might as well understand first as
last that she is going stay peerless, as
Tar as you fortune hunters are concerned.
Baltimore American.
i was weading an-aw-account of a
woman being gored to death by a beastly
COW, doncher-knoW,' remarked Dudleigh.
"Weally, I can't imagine a more bow
while AFFAIR, can you, Miss Caustique 90
NO, Mr.. Dudleigh." replied Miss Caus-
hque, with a mighty yawn, unless 1t is
being bored to death by calfF'-Laugh-
ter.
81 understand that his wife is of rather
diminutive stature "Diminutive? Say,
she's so short she can't wear a low
necked gown" Houston Post.
Italian-I see another naval engagement
is reported Wife-More fighting? italian
suppose so. The captain is engaged to
the rear admirals daughter.-Laughter.
When the Women Vote.-'srhinEs VIII
be changed when the women vote yes
suppose they will. Probably they witt
insist on having rugs on the floors OF all
the polling places 7 wasn't thinking of
that They will probably want to add
postscripts to their ballots after they get
them marked. ''-ChicaRo Record-HeraId-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26
FROM OTHER PENS
10 MATCH METHTTsEI.Au

la
According to history, Methuselah lived
20 ilne old age without the aid of anv
especial elixir of life. But since tbat
in III. oa1 8 time man has rarely ceased
II ms ~ enorts TO prolong his stay on earth.
ne Is constantly experimenting conqtsn1
y hoping. and almost as constantine an
heuncing that he has found the sprinss 81
eternal youth, in some form or anof6sr
A rev years ago we were told, for e5
ample, that buttermilk taken in large
quanCues would stave off the Grim Rea1-
er indefinitely. The fact that pigs from,
lme 1mmemorta1 have been fed butter
MIX mn on the farms of the country, with
out causing them to live beyond their al.
Iotteo years, made no difference. Butter
mix was the great health and youth pre.
servauye; so we took to drinking butter-
nlIk Later a Savant announced that bu
man beings who desired to live Longer
could accomplish this by Kidding their
coIons OF age germs-introducfng into that
Poruon OF their anatomies other germs
to destroy the bad ones. To the irnorant
Iayman, however, all germs look mora
or less alike, so this recipe did not secure
much or hold on the wouId-be Me-
musicians. But the search goes on. Now
we nave Philadelphia physician of estab-
nsned reputation, who, according to one
OF the best medical journals, has con-
cocted and tried extensively a formula
which not only cures old age bIIf
many other acute and chronic diseases,
ranging from melancholia to epliepsyi
Likewise it is "a potent factor in buildins,
up the character of the patfentt'' Shades
OF Ponce de Leon! When win that elixir
o
MIR. ROOSEVELT'S Fatal, ERROR.
The daily list of assertions from the
Republican party to join the Roosevelt
organization of boilers indicates the
colonePs desire-and perhaps his capacity
for doing harm to the candidacy of Mr.,
Taft. This is evident. Yet, IL we UNDER
stand dyed-in-the-wooI Republican senti-
ment and read the signs Alright, the
colonePs present attitude in this cam
paign is bound to produce a powerful
reaction against himself among the vast
body of nonfactional members of the
party What may be the result OF Mr..
Taft's fight for reelection in their eyes
will be secondary to the colonePs purpose
to destroy the party. In short, Republicans
will line up in determined ranks against
Mr.: Roosevelt when not the fate Of Mr..
TAFT but the life of the party is at stake.
Roosevelt may have found it an easy
matter to overwhelm Mr.. Taft at the
primaries, owing to his management of
speech and strenuosity of manner ito
get there;" but when the issue reduces
itself to the sole question OF the existence
Or destruction of the party itself, Colonel
Roosevelt faces veritable stone wall
over which he will not be able to climb
ais vengeful way to Observation-Disclosures
Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26
GLOBE SIGHTS
BY THE ATCHIsorz GLOBE.

Every man pays fool tax.
Every man thinks he has "eagle eyes
Nearly all your enemies are apt to have
a few friends.
Times never get hard enough to make
some people stop burning money.
A good deal of time is spent getting
ready for the amount that is accom-
plished.
Jude Johnson knows more about the
Chicago convention than anyone who was
there.
Probably a cool wave in July represents
the most popular form of outdoor amuse-
ment.
A tramp doesn't really see much: most
of his travelling is done merely to get out
of work.
Neither is it any longer possible to prove
one is Southern Aristocrat by applaud
ing Dixie"
Time is not so precious but there are
people who will spend about four hours
of 1t to get something free.
The small-town motorman also has the
advantage: He can read his home paper
while running his car.
Doc Robinson: 'I was never married.
but once was thrown into a barbed wire
fence and got my face badly Scratched -
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26
says UNCLE CAV

If could have my way about it and
| could reform the world according to my
| own little ideas, I wouldn't deport the
anarchists to the moon, neither would I
| worry over deadbeats, 4mollycoddIeS or
demagogues, but I would arm all the
| busy men with spiked clubs for the
benefit of the particular brand of fool
who insists upon dropping in to visit
during business hours. The majority of
mankind is good natured or this prince
of pests would have been annihilated
long since. 1t is possible that the prac-
t1ce of executing men for murder may
have something to do with it, but am
inclined to believe that if any of the
tribe of Solomon is now wearing the
ermine it would not be difficult to es-
cape unpleasant consequences through
an instruction to the jury to acquit
upon the ground of justifiable homicide
The crimes of the man who insists
upon loafing with you during business
hours are as the sands of the sea. He
wrecks your train of thought rifles I'D
your disposition until you are generally
olsorgan1zed and leaves you with a bad
taste In your mouth that reasserts
ltseIf every time you happen to recall
the vapid meanderings of the man
VINO mas nothing to do and is not do
ing 1t. AS a destroyer of human en-
ergy he has the white plague looking
ike chigger," and he has smothered
more ideas than the hookworm, sleep
ing sickness and the Inquisition put
together.
The man of big business is usually
more or less free from him. But the
masses of workers, who labor in places
more or less in the open, bear the bur-
den OF his ingenious, good-natured
and ol1ghting presence until they grind
their teeth in impotent rage. He has
the hide of a rhinoceros and the men
tai delicacy of a crocodile. Unco1-
sciously,. happy and deadly, he goes
his peStferous way, apparently I'M
awares that he is driving earnest folk
to distraction and depressing the in
dustria1 batting average of his victims
to something like III. He takes adj
vantage of the virtue of forbearance
until he makes it look like sin. HeI
babbles his nothings and spoils the
work for which the world is waiting.
He sheds hints, suggestions and even
point-blank broadsides like a duck in
regardless.
If you are one Of those unfortunates
who have time to loaf when others are
working, seek the society of your kind.
Ennui may get its work and make you
amount to something. If it doesn't,
the punishment will fit the crime. This
is world of working men and you are
an outsider, and one of these days the
long suffering laborers in the vineyard
are going to combine in a gigantic
'swat-the-loafer'' campaign, which
will cause you either to reform or get
Off the earth.-(Copyright, 1912, byl
W. E. Williams.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26

624 bushels last year. Don't stop at
the average yield. Do you know that
the countries of Europe beat us all to
pieces in the average yields per acre?
And they have land that has been Gull
tivated for ages in comparison with
ours. Trouble is. we spread ourselves
out over too much land. Try to do
too much While we average IL and
Is bushels of wheat to the acre. Ger
many has %, France 81, the United
Kingdom SS, and so on. Why. Ger
many grows on an average as many
spuds to an acre as we do on three.
Our Dutch cousins pick up 200 bush
els to the acre right along. And so it
is in everything. The slow foreign
do. We are too slow to catch a cold,
too slow to even keep the immigrants
from gobbling up our best land and
growing rich, while we highly civilized
Yankees howl about 'worn-out soil
and hustle off to the city to become
dependents, mere parasites on the
body sociological and economical, and
help boost the cost of living by our
very inability to meet Mother Nature
half way and give her a square deal.
Don't let the cold winds howl about |
an empty barn next fall after scraping
around over the meadow to get hair
ton of hay to the acre. Why, Mrs.
Harris of Michigan grew 20 tons and
500 pounds of silage corn on one acre
last wear. No use to talk hard luck. |
Get out and plow up some scrimpy
meadow. Do your part. Have you
always done it7"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26
EVENING CHAT
BIZ RUTH CAMERON.

ITO live with the saints in Heaven
Is untold bliss and glory,
But to live with the saints on earth
Is quite another story"
The wife of a neighbor of ours has in
cipient tuberculosis and has been ordered
to spend the winter at a health resort.
She leaves at home a husband and four
children of whom the Oldest is sixteen.
married sister who has no BARNS of hcI
for the winter.
We had been asked by the invalid to try
to make her sisters stay as pleasant as
possible, and had been paying our first
call. In the course of this call the sister
despite the presence of one of her small
nieces-had confided to us that she did
not like children; that it almost broke her
heart to close up her beautiful home 70
which she was devoted, and that she mad
sea trip in order to take charge of her
sisters household.
Practically our whole stay was taken up
in hearing of the sacrifices she had made
and in condoning with her
Said Molly, the little stenographer lady,
as we walked down the street, Poor Mrs.
why DOOR Mrs. Crawford, MoiIy?''
cried the ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS some
how. with spirit. Poor babies. l say:
happy? Didn't you see how much pleas
ure she got out of telling US how she was
sacrificing hersel-. don't doubt she
their father every day of her stay, and
she'll never let her sister forget it. can
see she's one of those people who love to
sacrifice themselves and then take it out
of those they make the sacrifices for.
Poor Mrs. Crawford, indeed Why, my
dear, she's simply delighted at the chance
to pose a martyr and make a lot Of
people feel uncomfortable.
The lady-who- always knows somehow
doesn't often speak with such warmth
and with such an approach to acerbity.
But don't blame her bit, do you?
1t seems to me there is scarcely any
species more trying than the saints on
earth who rub their pseudo-sainthood
contact.
rifice themselves. They seize each oppor-
tunity avidly because they know that no
pleasure they sacrifice can be half so
keen as the delight of posing martyrs.
Do you know what I think would be
the best punishment for these people? tt
this: recommend 1t to any victim-abso-
lutely refuse to accept any sacrifices at
their hands.
Remind them of Stevenson's creed that
any sacrifices which are not made gladly |
and without ostentation had better not be |
made at all. Thank them, but tell them |
that their services cost everyone con-
cerned quite too dearly.
Perhaps you don't think they will mind |
this at all, but they will. By-and-by you |
will have them begging you to let them /
make some sacrifice for you.
And perhaps If you keep them begging |
long enough, you will finally even bring |
them to that state of mind wherein they /
viii actually be eager to make a glad,
genuine sacrifice.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26
SMALL NEED OF MoNARoHs NOW

SMALL NEED OF MONARCHS NOW
OF all civilized countries Japan is the
one which makes the most of the old
tradition of divinity In kings. No 9TH
er modern state has so sedulousIy de-
voted the enormous influence of the
government to the perpetuation of the
ancient belief in the absolute right off
the sovereign to every sacrifice which
might be asked of the subject. No
where else has the head of the state
been so screened from the masses and
so hedged about with mystery.
And now Mutsuhito lies near death
and Japan must realize that he has
been nothing more than a name. a
shadow monarch, a sham master of
MS empire. He has been i'll for a long
time, desperately broken in health and
strength, and not one of his subjects in
every thousand knew anything about
it.
The affairs of the nation have moved
on as before. The condition of the
emperor has had not the slightest eff
feet upon the policies, outside reIa
tons or internal problems of Ianan
1t has been demonstrated that the
strong men who have been ruling in
his name could go on doing SO in
"AInOuI any Sucn mask Tor
themselves-if the deep devotion of
the Japanese to their sovereign did not
demand an emperor
The mikado is a concession to the
spirit of the past He is a personaI
embodiment of the boundless loyalty
OF the japanese to japan. They cher
ism him as chosen son and vicegerent
OF heaven, even though they have not
been able to discover the slightest diff
ference since he has been stricken by
mortal disease.
This cannot last long. It is hope
lessly Illogical. The spirit of the age
wars upon such adherence to outworn
creations of the past as the traditional
sovereign who can do no wrong and is
the anointed of the Lord.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Good music, like everything else that's
good, is exceedingly rare.
& = y
AS 8. matter of fact, few people work
because they really like to.
X -
Too many of the excellent converse
tionalists are short on ideas worth
while.
It is also possible to judge man
by the company he keeps away from.
"
Set it down for a fact that the man
who puts on a freak stunt or puts
out a freak idea can attract attention
in no other way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26
DAFFYDHS
BY U. NOALL.

Is a man suffering from corns like
a farmer because he has several acres?
Yes, he only had one idea and that
was wrong.)
When a reporter looks does he get
an interview?
(Hey, you cub! Find and identify the
body which belongs to this hnger-nail.
and do it quickly.)
If the stars should laugh would the
moonbeam?
be president by and by9
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News.1


Buried hopes require deep graves.
It's up to many reformers to reform
their theories.
Many a mans best friends are those
who know him least.
Probably more men would kiss their
wives If it was forbidden.
Anyway, the man who builds castles in
the air is his own landlord.
Even perfectly cold cash will burn a
hole in the pocket of a spendthrift.
cheerful spender never outlives his
populaTity-if his money holds out.
There is something wrong with the ser
mon that doesn't last over seven days
A man may get the short end of II be-
cause he imagines he is smarter than the
other fellow.
Don't try to learn everything worth
while. Leave the world a few unsolved
problems when you depart.
A burglar seldom gets low enough to
rob widows and orphsns-but the same
thing cannot always be said of a frenzied
financier.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-07-26
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

[F'rom the Philadelphia Record.J
About the only exercise some men get Is
running for office.
About the only thing some people seem
to do is take up room.
No, Maude, dear; all the weeping in
court isn't done by the court crier.
Some men are so courteous that they
are even polite to their own wives.
Does it improve a ball players batting
average to make hit with the manager:
girl might consider the dealer in glass
eyes in her search for the eye deal man.
Some people jump at conclusions and
others are more leisurely in making their
mistakes.
Hoax-"He has all kinds OF money!
Joax-'Why, I had no idea he was rich
Hoax-'He isn't He's a coin collector"
She I'm afraid you are tickle" He
'Fickle? Not I. For over eight years L
have stuck to the same brand of cigar
cites"