davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
SCORE ONE FOR THE TAILOR
Legal Light Thought He Had knight
Of the Shears In . Corner,
but He Hadn't.

Here is q story that was told by
Congressman Isaac Sherwood Of
Ohio the other day when the topic
switched to the turning Of the ira
ditional worm.
Recently a man omitted to hand
his tailor a few chunks Of silver in
exchange for good togs, and after
waiting a reasonable length of time
the tailor party sued for the amount
of the bill.
Thus it was that he found himself
on the witness stand one day with
the insistent lawyer for defendant
trying to establish the point that his
client had three months in which to
pay for the goods, and that that
time had scarcely elapsed.
"Now, sir, Mr., Tailor Man." mer-
cilessly continued the lawyer, chad
bought those clothes instead OF my
client, would you have summoned
me into court at this early stage?"
"No, sir" was the prompt rejoin-
der Of the witness.
"Goodp smiled the lawyer, with a
satisfied air. "And why not,
please?"
Because" came the answer of the
tabor, "in your case it would have
been cash transaction"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
THE UNMANIcUREp HAND.

w. Cameron Forbes, ex-governor
of the Philippines, saide apropos OF
some Filipino story:
"That story is an exaggeration and
possibly falsehood. 1t is like the
stories we used to hear about the pow
erty and slovenliness of the timer
ant actor.
"Betterton Booth, an itinerant
Hamlet-so one of these stories runs
was invited, in the house of pros
porous friend, to have a drink. He
accepted the invitation, naturally"
"'Say when,' said his host, pour
ing the whisky slowly forth.
"And Betterton, as he measured
certain height on his glass with his
thumb, said:
"Not much, my dear boy. Not
very much. Just to the black OF the
thumbnail.'"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
Advertisement.
WELLS TANNERY.

We are glad TO report that our
friend II. l.. Wlshart expects to
return very soon from the Lew
lstown hospital where he has
been taking treatment during the
past three weeks for the gunshot
wound which he received while
hunting deer.
Minnie Swope, daughter Of Mr.
aud Mrs. G. W. Swope, Of this
place, aud John Klutz, of Bakers
Summit, were married last We'd
nesday at the home Of the bride
by the pastor, Rev. Welse, OF
Three Springs. The time is here
when people cannot always do as
they please. The bride and
groom planned to leave after the
noon feast; but some friends
pocketed a wheel Of the automo-
bile IN order that the calithumpi-
an band might call on them.
Next morning the wheel was IN
place. Their many friends wish
them Joy and blessings all along
the way.
John Truax visited friends In
Brush Creek Valley Saturday
and Sunday.
Mrs. Viola Weiser, daughter
of Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Ford,
died on Monday in the Roaring
Spring haspltal. She and her
husband were taken there sever.
al weeks ago for treatment for
typhoid fever. Mr.. Welser was
able 20 return home with the
body OF his vile. MRS, w elser
was % years of age. She leaves
three small children. Funeral
Thursday IN Shermans Valley,
conducted by DR.. James Dalling.
Miss Clara Hlxson, Of Crystal
Springs, Is staying IN the home
of Mr.. and Mrs. w. Fl. Baum
gardner.
The stork brought a little
daughter to the home Of Mr.. and
Mrs. Sherman Amick.
Owing to the serious illness OF
DR.. R b Campbell, DR.. McClaln,
of Hustontown, has been attend
ing our sick.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
SALUYlA

Winter here! Snow 6 to 8 inch.
es-over IL inches on mountains.
Thermometer zero to 6 degrees
below along creeks Tuesday a.
N. Fine slelghlng and shedding.
John j. Mcdonald Is moving
his family and household goods
to his farm this week.
James Truax aud family have
moved to the old Thomas Runyan
place to haul lumber to Hancock,
Md, for Spangler & Harris, this
week.
Charlie and Maggie-son and
daughter Of Mr.. and Mrs. j.
Emory Slpes-have been very
sick with pneumonia. We gladly
note that, they seem little bet
ter at this writing.
Mrs. Randolph Fegley has been
very much afflicted for some
time, with little hopes of full re-
covery.
Joseph e. Mellott, of Major, Is
quite Ill, and bas been for some
time.
Palmer Strait, after having
taken unto himself a wife, has
leased the Bert Ham house, and
started house keeping.
q. w. Schooley has had erected
fine wagon shed. H. L Sipes
was the boss carpenter.
Rather cold these days for the
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
SCIENTIFIC BURGLARY.

The microphone is now used by
burglars for picking combination
locks. On turning the lock slight
sound is made when the proper num-
Der comes opposite the working
point, and this can even be heard by
a sensitive ear. However, it is i'm
perceptible to most persons, but by
using a microphone it is an easy
matter to hear the sounds. A suit
able form of fat telephone receiver
is employed, and it is applied against
the safe next the lock. A pair Of
rubber ear tubes are used with the
telephone. In this way the sounds
are heard which allow Of opening the
lock.-Scientific American.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
Church Notices.

Bethany Church Sunday School
near Big Cove Tannery will hold
its annual Christmas entertain
ment Sunday evening, December
10th at 7 O'Clock. If the weather
should prove to be unfavorable,
the service will be held Monday
evening. A cordial invitation is
extended to all.
Preaching, December goth, at
Sloan at 10:l5 a. m, and at AS
bury at 2::30 p. me-. j. Croft,
pastor.
Elder H. H. Lefferts, of Lees
burg, Va, will preach at Need
more, Saturday afternoon, De-
cember 26th, at 3 o'clock, and al
Army ]. Peck's Sunday morning
at 10 o'clock, and Sunday even
ing.
The meeting of the men of the
Lutheran church for last Sunday
will be held next Sunday from
$50 to 1890 a. m.
Evangelist DR.. ]. R. Dalling
began services in Wells Tannery
December 18th, to continue two
weeks.
The Presbyterian Sunday schoo
will hold their annual Christmas
exercises on Christmas eve at6:3t
o'clock. The Reformed Sunda!
school will hold theirs on Christ
mas evening at 6 o'clock. Unior
Prayer and Praise sarvice in the
Presbyterian church Christmas
morning at 8 O'Clock.
Preaching services in the Pres
byterian church next Sunday il
the morning, and in the Reform
ed church in the evening.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
Might Have Drowned.

Billy Wilds is the man who
twice a day visits the Water Com
pany's reservoir to measure the
flow of water and to refill the
hypo plant wi disinfectant.
Part of his work is to hold a g.
gallon bucket under the intake
pipe and count the seconds re-
ouired to fill it. He does it eth
er by hanging the bucket on the
end of long pole, or, by stepping
over the rim of the reservoir and
standing on the pipe. Tuesday
evening he choose the latter way.
The reservoir is frozen over solid
with the exception of a narrow
space at the pipe. Billy slipped
off the pipe, through this space
and fell down the slanting wall
under the ice. BY good fortune
he threw one leg out over the ice
as he was going down and saved
his life by keeping one leg out
over the ice until he wiggled to
the pipe, got a death grip on it
and pulled himself out. He says
it was the closest call" he ever
had.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
BRUSH CREEK.

The lumbermen Of our vicinity
are very busy now making use OF
the s inches of snow that fell last
week.
John McKibbin who had been
visiting relatives IN our valley,
left last week for his home in
Washington.
James Mckee left Sunday for
a visit with relatives in Indiana
Mrs. Lizzie McKlbbin is visit
Ing relatives near Amaranth
Clad Bequeath OF Gapsville
spentSaturday nightwith friends
near Crystal Springs.
Marshall Lynch an d Bruce
Barton were calling on friends al
Gapsvllle Saturday evening.
Clara and Howard Whitfield
spent part of last week with their
sister, Mrs. George Wlgheld
near Ashcom.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
IS WORLDS LONGEST TUNNEL
That Of tho catsklll Aqueduct In New
York 10 the Record In
Earth's Borings.

The two tunnel headings Of the
new Catskill aqueduct, which is to
give New York its water supply
were joined together by boring a
short time ago.
That operation opens the longest
stretch of continuous tunnel in the
world. The clear length from end
to end of this portion of the great
conduit is 1s miles, or Q miles longer
than the Simplon, the holder of the
former record for tunnel length.
AS a result of the last blast there
is an unobstructed opening for the
free flow Of water from one end of
the Catskill aqueduct to the other,
a distance Of 10 miles, and the dan
ger of a water famine, such as
threatened New York city few
years ago, is now definitely removed.
In an emergency Catskill water
could be delivered to New York now
at very short notice.
Now that the waterway opening is
cleared, the work remaining is the
completion Of the tunnel Innings and
the installation of the regulating
works at the shafts. Thus the aque-
duct has developed in a few years
from an irregular black line on
sheet of tracing paper to hundred
mile tube of concrete and steel.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
NO REASON FOR IT.
When McCOnueIlsburg Citizens Show a
Way.

There can be no reason why
any reader of this who suffers
the tortures of an aching back,
the annoyance of urinary dlsor-
ders, the pains and dangers OF
kidney Ills will fail to heed the
words of a neighbor who has
found relief. Read what a Nc
Connellsburg CITIZEN says;
John P. Conrad, deputy post
master, Main ST., McConnells-
burg says; 81 had terrible pains
across my back and | didn't sleep
we'll at night. l was very ner-
vous, and when got up IN the
morning l was more tired than
when | went to bed. Finally l
read of Doan's Kidney Pills. |
gave them a trial. They helped
me Immediately. Before long
my back was free from pain"
LASTING RELIEF.
On December 10, 1918, Mr..
Conrad said: 81 haven't needed
any remedy for backache or kid
ney trouble since Doan's Kidney
Pills cured me-"
Price SOC, at all dealers. Dont
simply ask for kidney remedy
get Doan's Kidney Pills-the
same that Mr.. Conrad b ad
Foster Milburn Co., Props, Buf
falo, N. Y.
Advertisement.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
Senator Vests Tribute To a Dog.

"The best friend a man has in
this world may turn against him
and become his enemy. His son
or his daughter that he has rear
with loving care may prove un-
grateful. Those who are near
est and dearest to us, those whom
we trust with our happiness and
our good name, may become trail
tors to their faith. The money
a man has he may lose. 1t flies
away from him when he needs it
most. A mans reputation may
be sacrificed in a moment of i'll
considered action. The people
who are prone to fall on their
knees to do US honor when sue
cess is with us may be the first
to throw stones of malice when
failure settles it's cloud upon our
heads. The one absolutely un-
selfish friend that man can have
in this selfish world, the one that
never deserts him, the one that
never proves ungrateful or treach
erous, is his dog.
"A mans dog stands by him
in prosperity and in poverty, in
health and in sickness. He will
sleep on the cold ground where
the wintry winds blow and the
snow drives fercely if only ne
may be near his masters side.
He will kiss the hand that has no
food to offer, he will lick the sore
and wounds that come in encoun-
ter with the roughness of the
world. He guards the sleep Of
his pauper master as if he were
a prince. When all other friends
desert he remains. When riches
take wings and reputation falls
to pieces, he is as constant in his
love as the sun in its journey
through the heavens.
IF fortune drives the master
forth an outcast in the world,
friendless and hopeless, the faith
full dog asks no higher privilege
than that of accompanying him
to guard against danger, to fight
against his enemies. And when
the last scene of all comes and
death takes the master in its en-
brace, and his body is laid away
in the cold ground, no matter if
all other friends pursue their way
there by the graveside will the
noble dog be found, his head be-
tween his paws, his eyes sad, but
open in alert watchfullness, faith
full and true even to DEATH"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
L. w. FUNK
High Grade Plain Pianos, Plav,
Pianos, Organs, ViCtrolas, Rec
OrdS, and Professional Tu-
ner, McConnellsburg,
= DEALER IN =

Nothing adds more to the refinements of home than
good music To have good music you must have good
instrument. There are good bad and Indifferent nstn
ments, and to the unskled eye they look much alike
The.unprinclpled dealer is likely to make you pav
Nfrst-cIass price for fourth-claSs instrument havd
lived IN this county since my brth am taxpayer and
in position to make good any business transactions!
Buy your piano, organ or vctrola from me and if J
not all right you can come back at me.
There are families in every part Of this county tha
have purchased instruments from me. Ask them about
me.
Perhaps you want to trade your organ for Piano.
OF Player Piano. your Plain Piano, for Player SEED
me. Let's talk it over.
l.. w. FUNK.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
SURPRISED

'This matrimonial rumor is very
extraordinary exclaimed Miss Cay
enne.
"Why, there are a great many
Of them."
eyes. But thI one seems to be
true"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
SELFISH.

'BEggins says he can't write on
a typewriter because the noise dis
turbs him"
eyes. If there is any noise going
on Bliggins wants to make it him
self"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
GLOOMY DOUBT.

"You and your wife never argue%
"Never," replied Mr.. Meekton.
"What an ideal state"
"Perhaps it isn't so ideal. I some
times fancy Henrietta hasn't enough
respect for my opinions to bother
about arguing with me-"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17

bridge builders on the Lincoln
Highway.
We are awful glad that Uncle
John Ham don't have to live
alone now. Ephralm Moore and
family have moved in with him.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
SENSE OF HUMoR DEFINED.

Willie-Paw, what is a sense Of
humor?
Paw-A sense Of humor is the
ability to laugh at your own jokes,
my son.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
As EVERYBODY KNOWS.

"How are you modern women on
the skirt question:" asked the an
cient shade.
'Divided!' bawled the young po-
initial spirit ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
Local Institute.

The fourth local institute of
Dublin township was held at Fort
Littleton last Friday evening.
The questions discussed were:
Memory work, how much and to
what grades given? What plans
do you use for beginners? How
do you overcome monotony?
The teachers present were:
Clara Byers, Esther Welch, Lii
liam Stinson, Jennie Cromer, Ira
Peck, of Dublin; Jno. Kelso, OF
Todd, and Prof. E. E. Kell, of
Huntingdon county. Lillian
Stinson, Sec'y.
Subscribe tor the News
o,o1v ri m n war
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
HIS REM EpY.

'What did the doctor do to relieve
your pain, Mrs. Malaprop'"
"Sure, and he gave me an epi-
demic interjection."
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
MOST IMPORTANT.

Clerk Country hotel)-First train
800 a. m, sir-milk train!
Guest-Um-what time is the
first milk punch trainp
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
STRICT sEcLusioN.

"You say the prince is staying
here very quietlyp"
"Oh, yes. Even his wash goes to
the laundry incog."
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
IN ENGLANp D.

'How are we going to bridge the
gaps in undermining our govern
mentT
'In very unusual way in bridge
work--you must knock out the
peers"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
AND MORE.

T hear the guests were loud in
their praises of the wine party"
$50 loud that the police ran the
whole party in"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
TRYING TO AGREE.

"You looked very foolish when
you proposed to me-"
"Well, Henrietta," replied Mr..
Meekton, "maybe / was"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
CONTRADICTION.

"The gray mare is the better
horse in that house."
81 don't see how that is possible
when she is such an old nag"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
SAD CASE.

''Your family does not seem to eat
much meat, Mrs. Jones'"
"No; you see, we are all more or
less valetudinarians."
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
OF COURSE.

care you a mind reader?"
81 don't have to be. 1t is no
trouble at all to get my wife to
tell me what she thinks Of me-"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
ITS METHOD.

"Should a proposal of marriage
be whispered"
"a should think it ought to be
made in ringing tones"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
UNCERTAIN.

'Do you prefer any particular
kind of wine, or don't you like the
subject to be mentioned?"
"Well, Mumm's the word"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
COULDN'T HAPPEN.

Johnny-Pa, is it wrong to steal
from a trust?
Pa-Don't let the question bother
you, my son. It's impossible.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
AT THE STATION.

"Ts there motor around here I
can take, porter?"
"Bettah not try it, sab. De police
am lookin' out fo' the Auto Jacks"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
PRACTICAL.

"Ah, my suburban life is truly
sunny lot~
"Then why don't you plant few
trees on it?"
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17
Special Bargains In Real EStaI

100 Acre Farm in Union township, Fulton Coun.
ty,iPa.E Good frame house and bank barn and 9th.
er buildings, plenty of fruit and fine water. This
farm lays in sight of school, church, store andpost.
office, right along public highway
175sAcres in Licking Creek township, new barn,
fair house, considerable meadow land and in fair
state of cultivation. One mile from school and
church.
300 Acre Farm in Fulton County, Pa. One of the
finest in the County nearly all in grass, five miles
from railroad and near lime. Fine brick house and
large barn and other buildings. Right along main
highway. About rs acres of excellent timber
ITO acre farm in Whips Cove, near Locust Grove,
Pa, on State Road from Hancock to Everett Well
watered and land in good condition. Good.eieht
room house, bank barn and all necessarysoutbuild-
ings. This farm will be sold reasonable and on
easy terms.
Write for prices and particulars We have many
other properties for sale and will be glad to show
them to you.
GEO. A. HARRIS,
REAL ESTATE,
MCConnellsburg Pa.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1912-12-17

Subscribe tor the News
only $1.00 a year.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1912-07-20

owl The Ford Flour Co. is connected
in no way whatever with any other
mill or -four concern and the clain
that other brands put out by other con-
Germs is the same nour under a uiief-
ant brand is unequivocally false
w. H. RagsdaIe, State Mgr"
;,,,toeoo Ford Flour co.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1912-07-20
AWAY WITH CATARRH
A FILTHY DISEASE
a Common Sense Treatment Quickly
Relieves All Distressing
Symptoms.

If YOU have any symptoms OF ca
tarrh, such as stuffed up feeling in the
head, profuse discharge from the nose'
phlegm in the throat, causing hawking
and splitting, dull pain in the head, or
ringing in the ears, just anoint the
nostrils or rub the throat or chest with
little Ely's Cream Balm, and see how
quickly you will get relief.
In just a few minutes you will feel
your head clearing, and after using the
Balm for a day or so the nasty dis
charge will be checked, the pain, sore
ness and fever will be gone, and you
will no longer be offensive to yourself
and friends by your constant hawking,
splitting and blowing
Shake off the grip of catarrh before
it impairs your sense of taste, smell!
and hearing and poisons your whole
system. In a short time you oan be
cured of this distressing disease by
using Ely Cream Balm. This heal
ing, antiseptic Balm does not fool you
with short, deceptive relief, but com
pleiely overcomes the disease. II
clears the nose, head and throat of al
the rank poison, soothes, heals ant
strengthens the raw, sore membranes
land makes you proof against catarrh.
/ One application viii convince you
and fifty cent bottle will general,
effect complete cure. Get it from
j your druggist and start the treatmen
at once.-THE OWL DRUG STORE
F. e. Williams & Sons, Proprietors
Hattiesburg.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1912-07-20

vicinity and dear mamma was thrown
to the rails with such violence that
she Immediately croaked, wherefore
he desired monetry recompense in the
sum of 100000.
The liability of the company was SO
apparent, under the case as stated
that four lawyers not only agreed to
prosecute the damage claim for Green
on a contingent fee basis of fifty per
cent, but loaned him real money 10
meet some pressing obligations.
Green was captured by Deputy
Sheriff Ben Broome on the Herring
plantation after an exciting chase,
during which several shots were fired
1t is believed that he has been travel
ing over the state for several months
perpetrating this story on lawyers,
and that heretofore members of the
fraternity have kept silent after learn
ing how they had been defrauded, as
the average practitioner does not rel
ish a public laugh at his expense.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1912-07-20
JACKSON lawyers
MULCTED BY
negro

Jackson, Miss, July 20.-John Green,
it, and it is hardly likely that they
will prefer additional charges against
the negro.
Green's plan of touching the legal
fraternity for sums varying from $3.50
to $1OO was cleverly conceived and
executed. He presented to each attor-
ney a clear-cut case of legal liability
on the part of the Y. & M. " road for
the tragic death of his mother, alleged
to have been killed in an accident at
Harriston, where she was employed
as cook with construction crew. AS
Green told the narrowing story, his
poor old mother was standing in the
door of the cook car when cold
blooded and inconsiderate switch en-.
CINE pulled of flying switch in that
the negro who mulcted at least -four
prominent lawyers in Kinds and JEFF
ferson counties with bunco game OF
striking originality, has been captured
and will serve term Of six months
on the county farm at Raymond
Members of the local bar believe
that Green had several other victims
but the lawyers who fell TO- his unique
scheme are keeping mighty quiet abop1