davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
Willing TO Dc Square Thlna.

Brand Whitlock, who doubles as
mayor OF Toledo and as a literary
man, had a Chicago career. He was a
reporter on the old Herald when Pete
dunno and Charley Seymour were his
side-kdcks. Charley Chaplin was one
of hts city editors.
Chaplin is now city editor OF the
New York Evening World, and this
story was told 20 Whitlock lately by
a correspondent who had him under
interviewing fire:
A new reporter had been hired on
the Evening World, and he went to
work on a Wednesday. The pay day
on the paper is Thursday. In the
course OF a week, when the recruit re,
viewed him frst envelope, he found
that he was a day short. He went TO
Chaplin and complained, only to get
this: ....' >... ..".
oh. we'll, nevSr mind. When / fire
you. I'll fire you a day earlier and that
will make 1t come out even"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
PRAYER OF THE HuMoRIsT.

Kate Masterson, in Lippincott's Magazine.
Deliver us from those Terrible Crimes
Old Jokes, Puns, PerverSions of Speech
and Mere Foolishness.
Vouchsafe that we may not fall into the
Labored, Hard = as = Nuts, Dry = as = Dust
forms. That we ma give no limitations.
That we nay bear In mind that HumoT
poises above three Dark Morasses: Cruel
ty, Bad Taste n Stiffness. Failing in
to any OF these, humor becomes q Vice.
That we may Studiously avoid making
fun of a Nation, a Cause or an individual
that Is weak. That we may not Laugh al
Cripples.
That we may never forget our Climaxes.
That we may maintain a Playful Spiri,
and a Sense of Beauty and Sentiment,
which viii prevent us from becoming
Dun. -
That we may not be Pedantic. Arbitrary
or f-Conscious.
That we may bear In mind that II there
could be n condition worse than q
World of Eternal Tears, it would be q
World Of Everlasting Smiles.
Grant us, therefore, some sane n Lu-
cid Intervals.
Keep us from that Literary Cowardlce
that is sometimes Spoken OF as Whole,
some Simplicity.
From Cheap Slang,
From Bad Lines,
From Commonplace Themes,
From Parodies on Omar,
Deliver Us ,
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
In n Land of Socialists,
Samuel p. Arth, In the Worlds worl
Magazine.

0ohlNS "tSH 'hS WIN wan
Magazine.
A German laborer may begin life at
tended by q physician Or nurse paid
by the state; he is chriStened by q
state clergyman; Is taught the rudi-
ments of learning and his handicraft
by the state. He Is drafted by the
state into the army. deyoting two of
his best years to h drill sergeant.
- II he falls i'll. his suffering Is as
suaged by the knowledge that his wife
and children are cared for, and that
his expenses will be paid during illness.
and he spends his convalescence in a
sumptuous state hospital. If he falls
victim to an accident the ample in
surance. even If he be permanently In
jured, is a balm to his suffering. II he
gets out OF work, city and state unite
TO find or make work for him. II he
wanders from town to town in search
Of work the cities through which he
passes offer him free hospitality. II
lie wishes to move to another part OF
hfs town the municipal bureau will be
glad to help him find a house, or ever
lend him money to get one of his
own.
II he is in dispute with his employer
the government furnishes a court OF
arbitration. If he is sued by his mas
ter or wishes to sue him, the state has
provided q special industrial court. II
he is in trouble the city places a law
yer at his disposal.
And II Is I'm this land of cautious
caretaking for the humber folk that
the social democracy casts half the So
Cialist votes for the world.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
THE PEEYISH CHILD
NEEDS TREATMENT

When q child sulks drowsily, or Il
frctful, Il II usually duo to some slight
disordcF Of tins digestive organs, and .
mild laxative 10 very often all that IL
necessary TO restore cheerfulness and
Snuyancy Of spirits.
IL cases where the use OF q gentle.
elective laxative stimulant Is indi.
Gated. many Of the best physicians are
Row prescribing DIR. Caidwelrs Syrup
Pepsin- This preparation is admitted.
lySthe perfect Laxative, being mild, yet
positive In It's action on the bowels
and FAR preferable to violent cathart'
tcs ana purgative waters. 1t is very
pleasant 20 tho taste and is an ideal
remedy 90 reguTate and strengthen the
Ht8TnacA. liver and bowels. It's easy,
natural sctiOn makes It especially de-
sirahle TN the case OF children, a dose
at bedtime being sure to have the de-
sireS result next morning, with no at,
teRdant ,unpieasantness OF discomfort.
Dr. CaldweIrs Syrup Pepsin ia sold
by druggists everywhere in SOC and
t1.0A bottles II you have never tried
this splendid remedy. write to DR.. w.
B. Caldwell, s01 Washington St., Mon.
ticelio. I'm, for q sample. He will be
very glad TO send q trial bottle with
cut any expense to you whatever.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
Warm %CompIiment.

a fancydress ball was held in a Ger
tain garrison town recently. at which
many military officers and men at
tended. A soldier attired as a lady
was spoken to by the regimental chap
Lain
Well. young man." said the par
son, you are very well got up. Did
you win a prize?"
Yes. ehum; / got second prize. Did
you get a prize%"
/ Mel on, no; -"
Wen, now, that's rotten bad luck
I call It," said the Tommy, warmly
for you are about the best get-up Of
a parson I've seen ely."-Londor
Tft-Bits.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
The ONLY Son.

o bitter wind toward the sunset blowing.
What OF the daIes tonight?
In yonder gray old hall what fires are
glowing,
What ring OF festal light?
In the great window Rs the day was
dwtndling r#g-
/ saw an old man stand;
His head was proudly held and his eyes
kindlinY,
But the list shook In his hand"
q wind OF twilight. was there no word ut
tered,
No sound of Joy or wailf .
"A great fight and a good death" he NUT
tered;
Trust Him, He would not fall
What of the chamber dark where she was
lying,
For whom all life is done?
within her heart she rocks a dead child.
crying,
My son, my little son
Henry Newbolt, THE Sailing or the
Long Ships" w.a~ ..
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
. Ar. .NvN .
V9sIM

Here are three record breaking
athletics who arc moro than likely to
form part of the American team
that will compete in the Olympic
games at Stockholm. Sweden, In
June. Abel kiviat and Louis Scott
are sprinters who have a penohant
for smashing old figures, while
James Duncan bids fair to out-dis-
tanee the great Martin Sheridan In
the discus event. kiviat recently
clipped three -fifths of a second
from the 1900 metre record made
by "Pony" Wilson, of England, in
1903, covering the distance in SIN
SO 1-5s.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
Going Further Back.

A man who had suddenly become
very rich went to live in New YorE
and began to spend money with a Law
ish hand He decided that his name
needed advertising, so he visited 6
genenlOgist.
~ suppose" he said, III l pay you
enough you a trace my family bach
20 Adam"
My dear sir" replied the genealo
gist. IL you're willing to put up tbs
money We can prove by evolution thai
yoar family existed before Adam
Lippincott's Magazine.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
Ps and Qs.

Bishop Logan Herbert Roots Of
Hankow,'' said a New York ciergyman'.
must be profoundly interested In the
Chinese revolution. Bishop Root stands
very high with the HankoW Chinese.
He once told me that when he first
went to China he had O good Zeal of
difficulty in remembering faces. He
mentioned this difficulty to a mandar-
in. He said:
a Tm getting over IL now; blu In the
beginning here In HankOw you all
looked as like as two peas
Two peasT' said tho Intelligent
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
6 OUTDOOR LIFE.
VIII Not Offset the III Effects of
Coffee and Tea When One Cannot
.ir Digest Them.
A farmer SAYS:

~ -
For ten years or, more I suffered
from dyspepsia and stomach trouble,
caused By the use Of coffee (Tea con-
tains caffeine, the same drug found
In coffee). until / got so bad l had to
give up coffee entirely and almost give
up hating. There were times when 7
could eat only boiled milk and bread;
end when I went to the field to work
! had to take some bread and butter
along to give me strength.
Il doctored steady and took almost
everything I could get for my stomach
In the way Of medicine, but il I got
any better II only lasted little while
( was almost a walking skeleton.
One day I read an ad for Postum
and told my wife I would try it, and al
TO the following facts I will make afi
dayit before any Judge:
Il quit coffee entirely and used Pos
tum IN its place. I have regained my
health entirely and can eat anything
that Is cooked to eat. / have increased
IN weight until now weigh more than
lever did. I have not taken any medi
cine for my stomach since / began
nsing Postum,
MY family would stick TO coffee a
first, but they saw the effects it hat
on me and when they were feeling
bad they began to use Postum, one al
q time, until now we all use Postum.
Name given by Postum Co, Battle
Greek. Mich. .
Ten days trial of Postum In plac.
or coffee proves the truth, an easy ant
pleasant way.
Read the little book. seThe Road Il
WeIlville." In pkgs. There's a rea
SON"
liver read the above letterf A new
one nppeafs from time to time. They
src Genuine, true, and full 81 humaz
intesesf.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20

II thank you for the flowers you sent"
she said;
And she smiled and blushed and
dropped her head.
I'm sorry for the words / spoke last
night;
Your sending the flowers proved you
were right r. = 5
Forgive me-"
He forgave her. t
And Is they walked and talked be-
meath the bowers
He wondered who in h--l had sent
the flowers.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
A Natural Query.

The late Gen. F. ID. Grant, when dis
cussing military neatness, used often
to tell a story about his father.
My father was talking TO General
Sherman, In his tent, one day" he
would begin, when a third general en-
tered, a brigadier notorious for his
slovenliness. After the brigadier left,
my father blew forth a cloud OF smoke
and said:
gets TO e his shirts the first WeekT'"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20

ommended special kidney remedy.
Mrs. John Robinson, EOS Burnay st.
Modesto. Cal. Says: my hack was
so lame and sore ] was practically
helpless. My feet and ankles swniled.
puffy spots appeared beneath my eyss
and ] became 40 dizzy i had to grasp
something to keep from falling. Relief
quickly followed the use Of Dpan's
Kidney Pills and It was not long b.
fore I was enjoying good health"
"Whan Your Back To Lame, Remember
the Name-DOAN'S." Soc, ala atOrSA
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. z.
The Substantial Part.
Don't you think the bias OF IN,
comes with the rapture of the honey
moon?" ., a-,
Maybe, but the real thing come.
with tho alimony OF the harvest
moon" ....
You are wasting time every time
you tell your sorroWs.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20

Senator La Toilette was talking
about an ungrateful o%ficeholder.
THE man reminds me of Smiths
dog" he said.
"tSmith, will your dog eat out Of
your hand2' a friend once asked. r
YES Smith answered, and out of
your leg. too" ~ s
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20

In this condi.
ton has cause
TO suspect kid.
ney trouble,
especially II
the hdney &C.
ton m 9
d isor,dered,
Doan's Kidney
pills have
cured thou.
sands. Il Ia
b hagt rao
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
HARD ron rHE HOUSEWIFE.

les hard enough TO keep house II IN
perfect health, but a woman weak,
tired and suffering with sn aching
back has q heavy burden. AnY woman
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20

IL tsstimoniAls received from those using
Gnrssld Tea aru Of any value, Garfield Te'
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
Henpecked Lion.

BenhAm-They made a lion Of me.
MIRA Benham-Well, I'm a pretty
fair sort OF Hon tanner.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20

Trouble never attempts to dodge
those Who are looking for 1t.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20

LOndOn is the healthiest capital OF
Europe.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
RECORD OF A
GREAT MEDICINE
Doctors Could Not Help Mira
T~empleton - Regained
Health through Lydia E.
Pinkham's Compound.

Hooper. Nebraska. az am very clad
to tell how Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetabl.
Compound has helpedme. F~orfveyean
l suffered from female troublesso wa,
scarcely able to do my work. ltook doc,
tors medicines and used local Treatments
but was not helped. ! had such awful
bearing down pains and my back Was 80
weak l could hardly walk and could moi
ride. Ioften had to sit up nights TO sIeeT
and my friends thought ! could not liv.
long. At my request my husband got
me a bottle of Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound and ! commenced Il
take it By the time / had taken tn.
seventh bottle my health had returned
and began doing my washing and was
well woman. Atone timefor three week.
/ did all the work for eighteen boarder
with no signs Of my old trouble return
ing. Many have taken Jour medicine
after seeing what it did for me. Lwouk
not take $1,000 and be where / was. You
have my permission to use my name
it win aid anyone. Mrs. SUSIE TEN
PLEToN, Hooper, Nebraska.
ThePinkham record is aprouda and peer
less one. It is q record of constant vic,
tory over the obstinate ills of woman-i.
that deal outdespair. a~-@A
1t is an established KAN
fact that Lydia E. M% NM
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20
Ilngratitude.

mandarin. smiling. 'But why not say
two queus?'"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20

that deal out despair.
1t is an established
fact that Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound has re-
storedhealth to thou
sands of such suffer
ing women. Why
don't you try 1t If you
needsuch o medicine?
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20

dent"
out bI
hardly
Lord
had jU
"Lul
his vo
and ha
ton 81
thing |
No.
name
the let
was, /
hdhe.
And
Mr.. J1I
The
No Lon
and as
events.
strangd
Of far
I an
than a
The
fed III
necosS;
SUDDEN
Its
that's
Foul
that?''
Mr..
murder
at the
him col
or wait
There
moment
clock Il
announ
have n
orous
moved.
band NJ
piled al
lamp
the ira
bred n;
Of the /
ness Of
pearl s
shadow
little OIL
gle for
put so
Lord
awful e
his cOu
irnpassi
erations
now, wi
Client !
greatest
ever ha
fact of
tiles of
the f0uI
old hOul
For a
the old
the tall
with siiI
den and
mahOgaI
the gcnJ
hadfgonI
Il seer
the histt
things ID
tioh. A
eScutche
who DIV
which a
every df
minds Il
as the y
Lord
own bal
treIaof
two inen
by old |
IN the ba
Wht
s
and snn
So here
He ga
them to |
police oi
"Piease
He sat
" biddirI
made
and eyes
he 4
face
mouth, a
|
The of
h
vas knu|
old
lie man
asked
You III
i thinl
qua
"CanII
Any tII
mig
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20

You r wasting time every time
you tell your sorroWs.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1912-06-20

The
IIarri
ily.f
Walk
a Mo-
A /
cab:
some
to Or
peare
The
Noun
and ]
Lord
direct
broth,
olain1i
OF I1u
paper
poster
Sud,
ford q
tevte
are re
WithC
disowl
tied u
puzzle
tiuD.
ono.
A y,
I}ruSsl
detail
dc M,
a Vefy
placed
in val
TO pro
ton b
the co
opnleTl
PHILLIP
scounC
rnOthe.
son, {
does n
proofs
BIIed
station
him 10
rant [.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-02-08
COVER NleAI ~ NOTES.

llIfi.owr Nigyh4":, tfRs 9giges snappy
and witty comedy Which e3mes to the
Grand direct from. toe, shqbert Thea.
ter, oston, has ben responsible for in.
finitely more laughts than the average
run OF plays. To say that the1Beaon
engagement OF two months was a
highly prosperous one, is but to stare
the plain fact. for the Shubert theater
was crowded at almost every perform.
ance, Created for laughing PURPOSES
only" It certainly fulflls its mission
Every scene and situation fairly bub-
bles over with wit and humor, and
there is not the slightest ceaFssheSs
or suggesttyeness in the whole three
acts. The newlyweds on their honey
moon. whose blunders form the basis
Of the plot, are young, gushing, fool;
lsh, and sentimental, and therein lies
their charm. lover Night has been
recommended as a5cure for the blues,
and 1t certainly proves an exhlliarative
tonic, and for one who has the crouch,
1t is particularly recommended.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-02-08
The Stage
nrHE coNEEs IoN.p

The above is the title to a new play
that will be seen at the Grand Opera
House on Thursday, February 10.
The players presented by the man
agement are certainly worthy of at
tentlon of the discriminating theater-
goer; the list contains such names as
Mortimer now, Clifford Dempsey, VII.
liam sheehan, Charles canfeld, Elsie
Williams, Bartine Robertson and 9th
ers. aaaassss ,7s = .sh
The play as the title, indicates, is on
the order of, Quo vadls" and The
Sign of the Cross" andrlt is at least
refreshing to note that something is
about to be presented to the public
which is away from the class Of plays
which have been Of a. disgusting ma,
ture, .ssHa
THE Confession" ls,an intensely hu
man, powerful drama; it's author. Jas.
Halleck Reid and it's management pre-
Eers to let the press and public be the
Judges Of their efforts to present some.
thing really worthy OF patronage,
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-02-08
caALossl in MExleo.

TIE situation IN Mexico appears to
is more chaotic than 1t was at any
iie during the revolution which re.
,snifed in the, withdrawal Of Dlaz and
the passing OF executive authority to
sl,iSdero. The State of chihuahua is
proposing to secede and setnp an in,
Ii aiidsnt government and theawhole
.tf fsEico Seems to be seething with
Evolution, intrigue and riotous anar
The .Madero government thus
n mas been powerless 10 cope with
lie situation. Thousands OF Ameri.
cltis are distributed through all parts
of Mexico, American investments in
siaxi6ah enterprises aggregate over
Sse9,o0O;O0O3
This explains why the entire mobile
army in the United States has been
ordered to hold itself in readiness for
d movement to the Mexican border.
The President is determined that
american interests in Mexico shall be
protected About 800 American sol,
Iliers are nov at Ell APaso OF, other
Joints along the Rio Grande and a
S 5sti sgsl ar RBE a8SglsS: ta& ensS
reach OF thsAagHeE. oThe1 present revo-
luton has the main area OF its activI-
ties not along the border. however, 'bU6
10 The vicinity Of the city of chihuahua,
800 miles south OF the Rio Grande..
The threatened secession of Chibua,
hua creates a situation which differs
from any that existed during the Ma
.defo revolution II one state SHOULD
make good in the attempt at secession,
there is no telling just where the
movement toward the breaking up of
The Mexican Republic would end.
There are now eighteen Mexican
states united under a federal system
Very similar 10 that OF the United
States. The peace in Mexico follow
ing the Madero revolution, If there
3dyer was peace, was very short.llved.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-02-08
PEOPLES ElRgM
sALE oF MAUDE adams

D.
TICKETS.
!. AT the request or a number Of per-
sons who attended the ticket sale this
morning for the Maude Adams show,
the following communication written
BY one OF the disappointed purchasers
vino attended the sale is given space:
More than 100 people gathered at
christieis drug store this morning,
some coming as early as Z a. m for
the purpose of getting in line for the
0 O'Clock sale OF tickets for the Aaude
Adams engagement of the Chantecjer
performance next Monday nightc How.
ever, a great many Of those attending
the opening sale were disappointed in
securing tickets, for after the 22d man
in line had been served twas stated
to those who had charge Of the sale
that the lower floor of the Opera House
was sold with the exception few
scattering single seats This was due
to the unfortunate method Of conduct
ing the sale, several parties in line
buying as many as 80 tickets and 1t
appeared that no one was restricted
as to the number Of tickets purchased.
This, of course, left the general public
out in the cold so far as securing de-
sirable seats was concerned, and many
parties who have heretofore been regu.
lar patrons OF the Opera House, went
away with their money in their
pockets.
The unfair method Of conducting the
sale was the subject of much qnlaa,yor-
able comment this morning FOR ,. every ;,9E
one in line should have been restrict
ed to the purchase Of a reasSnaslbgLle
number of tickets and the result would
have been that the seats on the lower
floor of the Opera House would not
have been placed In the hands Of a
f9ee 80 A PURCHASER.
E Il p. Il.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-02-08
LINgQLTS NlRls
tcoatInnea trom page OAel.

people Of being anarchists when they
made similar stateIshts.g
During the last few weeks report
ers have been persistently ipsistive.
that Roosevelt make a statement Of
bis position. He has steadiastly de.
ciibed, but finally told theireporers
that If they Togi&;b bring to him GER.
tain history Of the Life 81 Abra6am'
Liheoln. a You'd point out to them
certain plaee which he and Lincoln
lad been In Similar positions.
II - further references to capital and
labor, Rooseyeat qroted Lincoln as
follows: - p
capital has Its rights which are
as worthy otIifofeetlon as any other
rights. Nor sat to be denied that
there is, and pfobably always wIII'be,
a relation between, capital and labor,
PROCURING mutual benegts.
Another paragraph reads:
Now should this lead 70 a war
upon property, or the owners of prop
erty. Property Is the fruit of labor;
property is desiFablej is q positive
good in the world. That some should
be rich shows that others may be-
come rich, and hence in just encour-
agement to industry and enterprise. "
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-02-08

~
eoEiIIcAL. ANNou JUDGEMENTS.
The prices charges for inserting an
,n6nneements OF candidates for State
ofIisea in5these columns will be as fol-
lows:
Governor, $500.
auditor $500.
Secretary OF State, $500,
Attorney General, $500.
Treasurer, $1,000.
superintendent Of Schools, 5000.
Congress, $500.
This fee viii include the publlca-
iton 81 61t and formal ammo ntemerft
Il id & Standing card under the general
head Of acknowledgements" to'tun daily
hntil the contest for which the an
houncement is made Is ended. For
iifst page announcements add $500 to
boIe schedule Of prices.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-02-08

Is n large u ensure The TAX o New.
York, iii which the hero was aiso the
unsophfstlcated but honorable KID
Burns. though the character deilneas
tion and role conception Of Mr. Victor
Moore in The Talk OF New York IS.
slightly different than the character Of
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