The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-02-25

hiS Ol " ldiii y LII ldSC iS ifC ffiuou duck as deep as he without 1osin' his bal ance an buttin tn rifle parsonage in th' stomach. How far he'll go over depinds oti his build. A ' man iv my shape wnd be required to do no morea thin sink his chin into his collar till it hurt But5 little, thin fellow like ye'ersif mst bend owed till his back is all but broke. An ye mustra open ye'er nouth mind ye, or yell be thrun2 out on1ess tn king asks ye to. If he taps ye oH3 tn shou1dher an says: Say something, md man, ye can cnt loose till he shoves ye away.
 Tn exercise with American ladies is fdef4 severe. Whin an American lady is tip agaih ri1ey 'tis entirely proper f'r her to swoofi away Nanny have done so, but 'tis not often practised because iv it's inconvenence. Tn fright an consarvitive thing f'r her to do is to pfet{nd to suddenly lose her left leg an sink as 1eaf to in fufe as possible without fa1lin'. Sfie can't have amy outside assistance. If she grabs holt iv chair she's out. It's up to her to detarrnine what her strentft will stand. If her Glety Is gr-reater thin her agility she's in fr bhnp. On ht' other hand, if she don't go down as deep as she can without breakin' something she need niver come ar-roand again, / I see that wan New York lady has practised this nanoover n gym nasyum til she can dhrop tlr' left knee to if Hurc wan hundhred an forty-fve times wfthoat Iosin' baton, Iv course 1t won't stop here. Tn king fv England himsf is comins tothis countffy next year an as Americans arr too devoted to tfr' throne to nigfict amy exertion no faatther how dangerous to show how we feel mere gintfexion may be good enough fir a jock, but whin t1' ra1e article arrives we'll show him what young an active people can do in these here gyn,nastics, I expict to r-read in tn pa-apers this spring; Mrs, Solder lint, wife N tR we1 known (,vholesale) plumber, is practising hand spring which she will do whin presinted to his majesty, Mrs. Lottson will rely on her ci1y- brated crouch an spring. Mrs. Van Rhinestone will do head-spin' But tff ladies iv tn cider arrystocracy will prob'b stick to tn, simple cus- toms iv their ancestors an go by his majesty On their hands an knees 2
 ~T wondher how it's al goTT to come oait, Hnnissy.. Since tn news got around v how vel we threat kings in this counthry ivry potintats in tn wurruld is gettin' r-ready to come over here on a spree Suppose tl' king iv BeloocASs- tan shud take it into his head to pay Us q uisss- If Hogan is tellin' me tn tllrutn tn on'y way ye can approach this here monarch is be wrig- gln' up on ye'er stomach. An we'd have to do it or maybe he'd niver come back"
 They ought to be ashamed ip thimsiwes," said Mr. Hennessy.
 Sure, what diff renee does it make?" said Mr.. Dooley. 2" Doc Larkin says it's good fir thim. Says he: If they do it often enough twill rayiooce tn weight an' 'tis fine fr tn ab- donlida1 muscles. If as nanny kings comes hers as their press agents promise, these here nobly bor-rn ladies will get almost as much exercise as if they did tn family washir'."
 What wud ye do if ye were a king an come to this counthry?" asked Mr.. Hennessy.
 "Well," said Mr. Dooley,. :" theres wan thing Iwuddent dol 1wuddent r-neadi thr Declssatioa iv Independence. I'd be afEaidi Ed. die augbtn.:
 Scopxrasht' 1912: Bx Finley rttsE Dump :.