davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
Being q Somewhat Pc

III.
All the automobiles in the
world are made In Detroit--that
are not made elsewhere. he
American Press Humorists invettf-
gated this and found 1t to be a
fact. 1t manufactures SO many
automobiles that it's streets over
flow with them and wide as are
its streets, 1t has not room for
them all, and ships them out to
the world. This industry deyel-
oped into It's present proportions
in the last ten years, and remark
able as 1t may seem, in view Of the
motor traffic, the populations I'm
creased SO per cent in the same
time. Think what IL might have
been IL more people had survived
the automobiles! iiHa
One thing you can say for de-
troit, very few people HAYES to
walk. Really, 1t Is practically i'm
possible. Just to make us feel at
home, the automobile dealers of
the city placed machines. at our
disposal and let us ride over the
minority of the populace to our
hearts content.
The first days exploration In
automobiles had Walkerville as
its destination. This place Is
across the river, and we wondered
IL they were going to swim us
across in the machines. But no,
they faltered at the brink, and we
went across aboard a ferry boat,
on the hoof as 'twere.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
warm of Press Humorists.


and then it is called a joyride.
Naturally We went through the
distillery an dthrough warehouses
boasting an atmosphere as of a
closed street car just after the
gentleman in the middle has
dropped newspaper-wrapped
package about the size of quart
bottle on the floor. But we
emerged from it with clear eyes
and buoyant step, for, to the credit
of everyone be 1t said, we did not
touch a drop. And then We sat
down under an awning and dined
on chicken, and listened to Strick-
land Gillian Of Baltimore recite
his classic "Off ag'in, on ag'in,
gone ag'in, Finnegan," and gazed
over the placid, onyx-tinted river
with its white pleasure fleet dis
porting like swans, and we pom
dered what a joke it would be
upon a snake If 1t would come and
bite us with an antidote so handy.
Back again to Detroit, much to
the relief of the Canadian immi-
grafton inspectors who had suf-
fered us to come off the Boat. But
not until there was a touching in
ctdent. Duncan M. Smith, who
made his fame in the Hit or
Miss" column of the Chicago
News, unfurled himself simultane-
ously with an American flag that
Haunted in our honor and exuded
a masterpiece Of forensic patriot
ism.
Continued
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24

Bankers say that nine men out
of ten are helped to talk by hav-
ing a pencil in their hands. From
the days when our ancestors
scratched pictures on soft stone
with bits of flint, there has sus-
vived in every one of us some
thing of the fondness for making
hieroglyphics. Look on the wall
beside any public telephone and
you will find it black with scrawl-
ings. The blotters at hotel writ
ing desks are likely to be embel-
lished with meaningless designs,
and as men talk in their offices
their pencils or their pens are
busy.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
INADvERTENT HUMoR OF SIGNS

Long before Dickens turned
the limelight upon that Tooley
street sign: Carpets cleaned, ad-
vice given on any subject the
study of a city's signs has inter-
ested the strolling stranger" re-
marked a stopover tourist from
the West.
How suggestive that sign of a
couple of ice dealers we saw this
morning in Georgetown, Cool and
High And the versatility of his
race was exhibited by an Italian
in a sign over his shop on Ninth
street, near the public library:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
WHEN A PENCIL HELPS YOU TALK

While you are talking at your
desk downtown, Mr.. Man, does
your pencil make pictures and
draw diagrams? Unless you are
a person of rather rare compos-
ure the chances are that it does.
Not real pictures, perhaps, but
funny curlycues, odd arrange
ments of lines, quaint designs of
your own imagining words,
maybe. Ask any business man,
banker, lawyer, doctor, or what
you please about this, and he will
at first deny it, perhaps, then
look sheepish, and then show you
foolish little pictures that he
makes while talking, without
thinking about It.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
A JOCUND JAUNT BY FRED SCHAEFFER

nal Slant at the Great annual
You have to go to VAUDEVILLE
to find out peculiar thing about
Detroit. 1t turns out that De-
troit is the only city that has
something on the rest of our land
lin being north of Canada. This Sc
lcret was hurled at us in a body
las we were grouped on grassy
|waterside terrace in VAUDEVILLE
gazing pensively across the pea
green river at the electric light
towers that jut up into the skyline
of Michigan's metropolis. 1t
seems that little wedge of Cana
da insinuates itself into a position
which causes the phenomenon. At
first, however, we feared that the
Information was comic and that
they were stealing some of our
stuff, but 1t seems that they have
the mariners compass to back
them up. This is a twisted world
after all, and it is easy to get lost
In 1t.
Let's see, what were we doing
In Walkerville? Oh, yes, that's
where We visited the distillery.
There is considerable distillery
there, which comprises the manu-
featuring Industries of Canada.
Consider Detroit on the one side
of the river making automobiles
and across from 1t Walkerville
making whisky, than which two
industries could not be more re-
mote in their purpose. Unless, of
course, you combine the products.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24

Wood, Spaghetti, Coal and Olive
Oil-all the Italian necessities of
life.
Have you got any coal oil?'
l asked, urged by curiosity.
You Sc da sign,' was the Del
phic response; I don't know now
whether he had any or not.
GAS we neared the wharf, bound
for Mount Vernon, my wife point
ed to a great roof sign, over a
large supply house: Iro Sinks;
Wood Floats it ran. 'Humph,'
she sneered contemptuously, we
didn't have to come all the way
from Indiana to find that OUT"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
TEACHING THEM

schools should "teach the children how to do things
all still there bit
tion it, rather addition it, by putting it thus:
Teach the children to things.
little radsh that he
looks field
little higher and nober than has that who has
building architect
of assistance creation there mixed with eevatng
that is not found in the ordinary mural vocations.
Ask dozen city school boys what they want to nne
them
etc That they would into the overowd businesses and
ten of failures
Of those boys the of love to create things That not cu
tvated the public
the repression of initiative and orignaton But beginning learn
We
confined i while
will comparative
youth to of
Put a book you
who
To public instruction
and disciplinary forcing of the ability initiate Why
possibility
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
$25 EACH FOR AUSTRALIAN BABY

The Australian house of repre-
sentatives recently passed a bill
providing a maternity allowance
in respect of any child born in
Australia. Mothers will receive
maximum benefit of SIS, which
must be claimed within three
months from the birth of a child.
The measure excludes aborigines
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
Periodical Drinker.

A doctors patient in Excel
sior Springs the other day
was answering the usual list
of queries, prior to entering
upon a course of treatment.
Are you a steady or a
periodical drinker?" asked
the physician.
Periodical" was the re-
ply.
How long between peri
ods?"
The poor fellow studied a
moment that he might an
swer correctly, and replied:
about twenty minutes"
st. Paul Dispatch.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
Eastern Washington" seems to be a

mighty uncertain quantity politically.
Hodge supporters insist it is three
fourths Hodge; Hay, after tour, de-
clares he has it solid; Ernest Lister is
there now, and tickled to death almost;
socialists say Anna Maley is going to
fool them all in eastern Washing
tom" and now George Stivers, prohibit
ton candidate, sends word to State
Chairman Fowler that the fight is "be-
tween Hodge" and himself.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
SMILES
Her Excuse.

Her Excuse.
Lady Motorist-Oh, Mr..
Policeman, when I tell you
why 1 speeded you'll let me
go.
Officer - Why were you
speeding?
Lady Motorist-I was trying
to catch up to that car ahead
to see how the lady had her
hat trimmed. 49,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24

The standpat gangs fight in this
state reminds one of stories about the
political fights of about Is years ago,
when candidates and followers accused
each other of every known crime,
smashed windows and noses and made
language and gore flow with utmost
freedom.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
Ending IL.

"You just put 1t over
Swift in an argument, didn't
your"
How did you known"
"He just told me it was a
waste of time to talk to a
fellow like you."
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24

Sounds like tale out of an old story
book: Turkish sultan sends bag of
millet seed to Bulgaria's car, with note
saying his soldiers are as numerous as
the seeds. Gar sends note to sultan
with bag of red peppers, saying that
for Turks to stick noses into Bulgaria s
affairs is like sticking 'em into fiery
peppers.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
Confused Terms.

SolIuSCu lSEIIfSs
The superintendent asked
the Sunday school: with
what remarkable weapon did
Samson Stay the Philistines?"
For a while there was no
answer. The superintend-
ent, to revive the children's
memory, commenced tapping
his jaw with the tip of his
finger, at the same time say
ing: whats this?"
Quick as thought a little
fellow replied, quite inno-
Gently:
1.-THE jawbone of an ass,
sir. National Monthly.
Too Many Already.
Barber-Have a little
tonic, sir
Doing Customer-Not an
other drop! Gimme a cigar!
Satire.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
CannihaI COnnisseur.

Cannibal COnnisseur.
First Cannibal-Don't you
think that last gentleman
had excellent taste in
clothes?
Second Cannibal-I can't
say. l didn't eat the clothes.
Life.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24

and Asiatics.
The Australian method of the
endowment of maternity is the
most direct yet in existence. In
Paris large blocks of flats for
working people have been erected.
and every tenant has a quarters
rent RENTED to him on the birth
of a child.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
JOKES
Either Way.

Either Way.
GOSH wish | were dead.
Heavens! Can't you mar
ry her, or-did you
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
Chance for some lonely bachelor t

marry: Miss q. x. Radcliffe, Elgin,
ILL.,, has got to be married this year or
she loses fortune of $4,000. She wants
q husband under 30, ga home man with
= loving disposition.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24

The Cheerful Color.
Gabe-Do you ever get the
blues
Steve-Not Il l have the
long green.-Cincinnati En-
Quirer.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24

r. w. Jameson says if he is elected
sheriff of Pierce county he will do just
as Bob Hodge did at Seattle-stop the
graft on feeding prisoners.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
A Number.

A Number.
81 understand when Smith
went out for the first time
in his new machine he struck
quite a gait"
81 believed he struck about
a dozen gates before he fin
ished the machine"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24

With congressman and governor
and candidate for vice president here
to speak all in one week, Tacoma demo-
Gratis are bracing up and beginning to
feel that really they can "come back. "
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24

A socialist challenges Albert John
son to debate. johnson won't do it.
He needs all his breath to preach stand
pat doctrines.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
Wouldn't it be a squelcher for

Hon. Jim McNeeley if the socialists
beat him out of the senatorship in the
old Paulhamus district-which the lat
ter say they will do.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24

"A GRIT, N. J., Oct. 24.-"No matter where you
start in the discussion of questions affecting the
lives of Americans, you always wind up with
the tariff
This statement by Woodrow Wilson gives
a hint of the position of the democratic nominee
for president on the question of labor and the
interests of the American workingmen He be-
leves that the workingman's problem-his pay
envelop and his grocery bill-depends for sou-
ton largely upon the immediate and heavy re-
duction in the tariff. Another statement of his
is this:
The Makers of Wealth.
1.-THE makers of wealth in this country are
chiefly the men who do the daily work--chiefly
but not exclusively. None of us would work to
advantage If were not captaned and directed
Men waste their energies If they do not cooper
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24

The supreme court can't stop Judge
Black from running for place on their
own bench, anyway.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24

Edmund Pennington, president of the
$500" railroad, can be styled a real,
tested American citizen He could be
heir to the title and estates of Lord
Muncaster, in England, but he says he's
turned down the chance.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24

Just now worlds championship
title for prizefight is very unpopu-
lar thing.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24

Poor Taft didn't cut much of a fig
ure in the straw ballot.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-10-24
WILSON SAYS THE TARIFF
ISSUE TOUCHES ALL OF
OUR PROBL EMS OFLlVlNC

is a articles by Oliver p. Newman
with
nomination Baltimore who
opportunities study the democratic candidate
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1912-10-10
COTTON CORPORATION WILL
MEET IN TEXAS

A call has been issued by the pres
dent for a meeting Of the board Of
directors Of the southern States Cot.
ton Corporation, in DallAs, Tex. ON
October Is. AT that time President
George Dole Wadloy viii report the
success OF his trip to Europe with
w. r. Anderson, Of Macon, to ar
range for finances with which to
market the crop under the plan OF
the corporation, Discussion will al
SO be had Of future plans and opera
tions Of the corporation and def
mite course Of procedure will be out
lined.
Mr.. Wadley will be able to state
that all final cial arrangements have
been made, provided the corporation
complies with certain conditions.
Confirmation os his reports have
been received by cable and letter,
which will besubmitted at the meet
ing Of the board If director,
BY arrangements with foreie n
bankers and spinners, the corpora
tioa will be able to advance 70 the
farmers as per cent Of the highest
market price for their cotton and
give interest bearing script for the
difference between fifteen cents per
pound.
The corporation will be capitalized
at 81 900, 600 and stock will be sold
Immediately after the organization
is perfected at the meetikg Of the
directors in Dallas.
Great interest is beingmanifestad
in the work of the corporation IN
Texas and Oklahoma and strong
pressure is being brought to bear on
the management to have the gene
raj offices removed from Macon to
Texas. Whether the officers viii
seriously consider the proposition is
not yet known.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1912-10-10
The Big Midway
Ga. State Fair at Macon
Oct. Is to rs.

The Midway al the Georgia state
Fair viii be the biggest in size than
was ever attempted before on any
other similar occasion Nat Teiss
wonderful array Of shows and rid
ing devices Will cover 10 acres Of the
big mile track. Nat Reiss always
gives the public Just what he says
he has, and never makes an asscr-
ton that is not backed up ly his
former reputation One u the rea-
sons that Nat Reis- can make good
IS that AL his aseciates show abso-
lutely that they have the shows at
heart and bis inter st is thus pro-
tected. The great attractions will
be grouped ia two parallel lines,
covering virtually the whole ten
acres. At the extreme end Of the
Iline will BE seen the great carved
and decorated III gilt, King Edward
Animal Show, and hanked on either
side will be the beautiful Paree Show
and Dixie Land The other shows
will be arranged in long avenues
with the Ferris Wheel and minor
booths in the centre spaces. Ihe
King Edward Animal Show has an
elaborate carved front and a large
and gigantic Gaciolo organ. Mox-
ellie, a beautiful woman, and the
perfect intertainer is q star attrac-
| ton Of the Paree Show In the
O'Berita Show, Mile 0'Berita,
rarely beautiful young woman, pre-
sents the acts Of classics. Dizit
Land Show presents one d the best
negro entertainments ever PLACED
J before the people, Mcfarland
side shows will be upto the STANDARD
ST tie other shows. Mr. Mcfarland
being ali Cd time show man who
knows how to cater to the pubic
The international Theatre gives onC
! glimpse Of thestrange customs anc
| games Of the Orient.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1912-10-10
Big Colony Of
Farmers Coming
To A SOUTHERN STATE, AND GEORGIA
MAY err THEM II BIG ENOUGH
TRAcT IS PROVIDED.

Atlanta, Oct. 5. lis there anyone
in Georgia who has from 5000 to
10000 acres Of land in body,
suitable for colony, that he wishes
to dispose Off
Commissioner Of Agriculture J J.
Conner would like to get inforna-
ton just now as to any such tracts
Of and which may be available, IN
order to enable him to answer an
injury which might result in the
location of about 100 industrious
and hard working agricultural fam
lies in families.
Parties interested in the location
Of this colony are considering three
Southern states, andthey have writ
ten for information not to land
agents but direct to state depart
ments of agriculture, stating that
they adopted this course with view
to getting accurate and unbiased
first hand data regarding any OBJ
tainable tracts.
As a matter OF fact the depart
ment Of agriculture does rot pos
sess this information.
Il haven't the remotest idea, ("
said Commissioner Conner, where
there is in Georgia a tract Of 5000
acres or more suitable for such a
purpose that can be had. 1t must,
Of course, be good farm land, be-
cause these people expect to go to
work al once on the tract they Sc
cure to make their living from it.
If there is anyone in the state
who has such a tract for sale, any
where from 5000 to 10000 acres, !
would be glad to have him write nae
a description Of it as soon as pos
sible, in order that | may properly
answer this inquiry. OF course
there are such tracts available, but
the department has no record Of
them, and has no means Of obtain
ing it except to ask for theinforma-
ton.
Several agricultural colonies have
been located in Georgia from time
to time, and where conducted on
business principles, they have net
only prospered, but have added ma
terially to the general prosperity OF
the state. There is no doubt about
the fact that an opportunity pre-
SCENTS itself here, if the right tract
can be found.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1912-10-10
GEORGIA, Lee County.

viii be sold at the courthouse doorin
said county on the first Tuesday in
November, 1912, within the legal hours
Of sale, to-wit:
An one-ninth undivided interest IN all
of lot Of land No l24 and the northeast
corner Of lot No 1872 in the 18th district
OF Lee county, Georgia, containing 250
acres, more or less, with improvements
thereon, said lands levied on as the pro-
perty of Miller FL. Hunter to satisfy an
execution issued on the 23rd. day OF July
1912, from the City Court of Leesburg,
said county, in favor OF J j Hanesley
IS. Miller II Hunter Tenants III pos
session notified in term Of law Of said
levy This the 9th day Of Sept 1872.
SD. SMITH,
Sheriff, Lee Co., Ga.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1912-10-10
Reduced Prices in all Stores

II order
Greatly reduced prices for Bargain DEEPER
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1912-10-10
GEORGIA., Lee County

VIII be sold at the Court House door
lin Lee county Oh tie first Tuesday in
November, 1912 within the legal hours
81 sale, to-w.t.
One roam colt about three years old
named Pansy, one chestnut sorrell mare
about 6 IL years old named kale, also
one pair Of medium SEED gray mules
about years old leyiel on as tile pro-
perry Of ~. W. Hooks, Jr., to satisfy an
execution issued on September / 1912,
| nom the City Court d Lecsburg, said
county, in favor Of Battle Brothers
against w. w. Hooks, Jr.
This October ! 1912.
j II HINES,
Deputy Sheriff
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1912-10-10
FOR SALE

My home place in Leesburg.
Terms if desired. For further IN
formation address
MRS. N. H. WARE,
Care S. P. Crowell. Perry, Ga.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1912-10-10
GEORGE G. EDWARDS,
Ordinary.

WANTE D-A Florida Corporation
composed OF Bankers, Real Estate men,
Capitalists. want district manager fer
I4eesburg district. Duties consist in plac-
ing advertisement; managing sales depart
ment, collections, etc. Salary Sl50 per
month; extra commissions, Office and
travelling expenses. Liberal allowance
for sub-agents. This position win be
fouad pleasant, permanent, and profitable
for hustler. Address Sales Manager,
Pensacola Improvement Company, Pensa-
cola Fla
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1912-10-10
Legal Advertising
Notice To Debtors and
Creditors.

All creditors 81 the state Of H. A
Mons, late 81 Zee county, DECEASED, are
hereby notified 10 renderin their demands
10 the undersigned according TO law, and
all persons Indebted to said estate are re-
qnired to make immediate payment.
This Ser TENDER It'll, 1912
ELMIRA MONS,
6t-l0-17 Administrative.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1912-10-10

Capital Stock $4,000
Dear Friend:

On the first OF every month We are mailing e
you one Of our sor1cs or twelve calendar lessons
Banking and Dcpos1t1ng.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1912-10-10
liEORGIA. Lee County

70 the Hon. n. A. Littlejohn, Judge Of
the Superior Court Of said county
Tie petition offs. M. Jones, Sr shows
/. That he is guardian Of Fort, Floyd,
Lulabel, Walker, Saday and Eugene
Jones, heretofore duly appointed as such
guardian IN said county.
Z. That he desires to sell for reinvest-
ment at private sale the following pro-
perty, the same being the real estate be
longing to his said wards, to-wit: 66 and
two-thirds acres OF land, more or less,
situated III the north cast corner OF lot Of
land number 40 forty -seyen in the thir-
teenth district OF Lee County, Ga.
3. Said land brings about three bales
Of cotton per year rent, but is located
about three miles from your petitioner,
making it announcement for your petitioner
to overlook as successfully and probably
as il il were nearer.
4. Petitioner desires to invest the
proceeds of such sale IN land just as good,
which is nearer your petitioner, tow t.
north half OF lot No. So III said district
5. Petitioner shows that notice OF his
intention to make this application has
been published once a week for ! weeks
III the lee Co. Journal newspaper, be-
ing the newspaper in which county adj
vertisements are usually published, as
required BY law.
s. NJ. JONES, Sr.
Sworn 10 and subscribed before me,
this oath. day Of September, 1912,
JAMES MORGAN,
Clerk of the Superior Court
Of Lee County, Ga.
The Lee County journal. (Leesburg, Ga.) 1904-19??, 1912-10-10

A bank account means self
respect. Tt is the beg1nn1r {
rung on the ladder of success
you can go no higher.