The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1912-05-22
DOl:S WHET TOOLS
FOR BIG CLINIC
Will Operate on Lawyers in Base
ball Demonstration at Sumach
Park May "a

Not to be outdone by the lawyers
the doctors and dentists have hired
counsel and come right back at their
legal challengers for baseball honors
at the Business Mems picnic on May
"a at Sumach park. After consulting
all of the authorities, including Hoyle,
Blackstone, Osler, George Conan and
Bill Shakespeare. the aforesaid conn
sci got rid of the following:
Appearing in response to the sum-
mons heretofore issued out of the
baseball court of the state of WASH
ington, in and for the county of Yak
ina. the medicos and tooth carpenters
of the city of North Yakima deny the
right of dodgers of justice to restrain
or enjoin them from asserting claim
to the championship, and. therefore.
on the cath day of May, 1912, the
Medicos and T. C.s will administer an
anaesthetic to said law-breakers on
the operating table at Sumach park.
At the time and place DR.. Tetreau will
be on hand to swat any flies that may
be in sight, but the medical fraternity
will insist that no women's clubs be
used as bats. as the Medicos and T.
C.s are not challenged to q Marathon.
We further insist that the hearse be
on hand to carry away the dead balls,
upon which post will be held
for the benefit of science.
we further insist that when any
strikes are called unduly that Mayor
Splawn, Baron of Cowichee, be on
hand to furnish adequate police pro-
lection and do Justice, for which the
lawyers are incapable. We further
insist that Commissioner Redman
furnish an adequate and unpolluted
water supply and that Commissioner
q oh -
disbursements. We further insist upon
the right to administer an anaesthetic
to any lawyer that may endanger our
health or self-esteem
DIR. Cornett will furnish the music
DR.. Burns will furnish the oil to ease
any wounds caused by sliding ia
bases and DR.. Carver will cut out all
home runs. If Wight shows any vel
low streak when we are Nywenng be
will be Chased ID the Brush for
Fletcherization, and other treatment
and possibly be given a soothing
tablet - 'Ii - gpE'r tf.
Welcome the day Of the cath.
(Sfgne0 SKULL & SAWBONES.
TOOTH FILTERS"
Take Hypodermic of Gasoline
Having exuded this seething reply
to the challenge of the bar artists, the
authors felt worse. and took stimu-
liant in the shape of a hypodermic oil
gasoline. The following was the re.
suit:
DIR. Banks will be in the ranks, te
fight the legal crooks and cranks. DIR
Weir will have no fear, of curves OF
| strikes or pale Root Beer. And watcf
him when he comes to bat, the swat
ter of swats is DR.. Pratt. The doctor.
will have the latest yells, furnished b,
our DR.. Wells. And when the lawyer.
need a pill, they can get the some
from Dr. Hill; and If perchance the,
need a stretcher. they can find the
same by calling Fletcher. Baseball /:
not cinch. at least, so says DR.
Lynch. And when the lawyers swea
and groan. they'll get no help from
DR.. Sloan. And If you ever saw &
winner. keep your eye on DIR. Skinner
And when the bar men need a healer
we have the man in DIR. Keeler. You'll
find in Mcclure S some of the best, bu
the candy kid is DR.. West
IAnc-Up for Clinic
Following are the names of those
who will assist in the operation:
Catcher--Nywening, Lane
Pitcher-Fletcher, West.
First base-Cornett.
Second intermediate
Third interne--Loudon.
Shortstop-Sickenga.
Right field-Brush.
Center field-Chase.
Left field--Keeler.
Emergency men---Carver, Brock
Stanley.
N. B.-No Brush. Hill or Lane al.
lowed in the infield.