River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1912-04-18
KEEPSTORE'S HAMMER


Falls merchant, was sitting in front
of his shop recently, exchanging
hammer taps with w. B. Scribe.
Say, Scriby," said he, as he
ducked into the doorway to escape
large consignment of our fine
(dust) Main street which the
zephyrs were waiting generously
hither and yon, why shouldn t
we put our street sprinkling dues
into the church collection boxes?"
And have the pastors pray for
rain, chr" added Scribe kittenishly.
Well, something like that was in
my mind, but it amounts to about
the same thing as the present syS-
tenn. I'm not much of a weather
prophet, but when | see the city
sprinkling wagon on the job l know
it either is about to rain, is raining
or has just rained"
A dust cloud choked down
Scribe's remark to the effect that it
seemed to be "veri, veri dry spell,
yes.
Scribe munched heavily on the
bulk olives while Keepstore attend
ed the wants of customer.
'Scriby, tell me truly" began
Keepstore after the customer had
left, whats the answer to worse
and more of it?"
THE Mail Order Habit, am l
right?"
Have a segar,' invited Keep
store.
Say, Keepie," began Scribe en-
Enthusiastically, Il can tell you"
"Oh no, Scribe, you can't tell me
any one little thing on this subject
that couldn't double discount, and
then some. Listen: The gent who
just left got stung on some mail
order paint-said he might just as
well try to paint his barn with
colored gasoline-and he was peeved
because wouldn't exchange for it
even up for some of my stock, and
give him time on an extra gallon.
And to think that you, Scriby, an
old friend O. me bussum, wanted TO
tell me something on the mail order
subject. For shame"
why didn't he send it back to
the Mail Order house and. get his,
money!" queried Scribe, cit says to
do so in the book"
"Scriby, me dear cheeild, some
one, some day, will sell you lot
along an airship line, or a rattle
ticket on snow ball. Send it back.
Yah. Jefferies came back"
strong in comparison with the abil-
ity of money sent to Mail Order
outfit to come back. And to carry
the pug" comparison further, the
home merchant is the white hope"
for those whose mail orders don't
pan out as expected"
Look, look" cried Keepstore
excitedly, there's chauffeur ac-
tually stopping to allow a skittish
team to pass. Amt it gr-'
Look, look, interrupted Scribe,
the teamster is actually guiding
his team past the auto without lash
ing them with the whip
well, what you know on that, +"
exclaimed both in unison, as the
vehicles passed; and the drivers
waved friendly greeting to each
other.
THAT reminds me of an incident
one of our local autoists often re-
lates, said Keepstore. AS a
chauffeur approached carriage he
was brought to a stop by a signal
from the driver The auto was
driven out to one side of the road
and the motor stopped. The team
ster got out and led his horses by,
his wife holding the reins in the
buggy. The chauffeur, noticing
that neither horse SO much as
glanced at the machine, asked the
man why he was required TO stop.
The answer came promptly, "Oh
no, my horses are not in the least
afraid, but always have to do this
to get my wife BY"
There's something in that, too"
said Scribe, and was about to COM
ment further when a monied"
man, in passing, carelessly dropped
the hint of treat" and, of course
the dialogue ended abruptly.
red. Note1-This is the second of series of
random rankings, penned by Wood Bee Scribe
especially for the Journal, which will be con-
tinued now and then as time and space permit
-