New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-17

THE talk OF THE DAY

Missouri undertakers appear to be lot
OF gay dogs. to Judge from The St Louis
Republics" advance notice OF their annual
meeting. The Republic" heads its article
with a reference to the silver jubilee
(slc) OF the Missouri Funeral Directors AS
ISOLATION, and then goes on 10 tell how the
delegates are to be entertained. Among
other topics OF interest on the programme
are addresses on when Should an Under
taker Re Il Gentleman" and What Does
the Undertaken DO with All His Money!
As TO the latter, it might be remarked. in
asmuch ms he has few live accounts. that
he tries Ia collect il. New York's minor
courts are cloggcd with suits OF undertake
crs who are attempting to get what they
charged for funerals Recently, however.
the SurroEatc's court here has frowned
somewhat on "fads and frllls" in obsequles,
or. az Huckleberry Finn said. orgies
How do YOU know that man Is a states
man
Because replied the analyst he can
wear a silk hat and a frock coat without
looking as n he were going to we'd
ding. Star.
This story OF Or. Elmer Ellsworth Brown,
the new chancellor Of New York Unlver-
sity. is now going the rounds. on one oc-
cason when he WAS called upon TO respond
TO a toast at banquet he compared the
evening with tho dull and drab nights he
was forced TO spend porting over his books.
1T makes me think of the little son OF
friend OF NINE" said Chancellor Brown.
"One summer he was taken 10 the circus
for the first time by his doting father
When he returned. round eyed and all but
apoplectic with delight. his mother asked
him how he liked tho circus. Mother said
my friends little boy. II you once go to the
circus with me. you'll never want to fool
away time on church again
Nell-They say pie without cheese is like
kiss without squeeze. DO you be
liove IT.
Beuc-Why. really, ! never
Nell-You never what
Bellc-Ate pie without heese.-Philadel-
phia Record.
BEFORE AND AFTER NOMTNAT1oN
delegate spsahs
REEoR1
know the proper candidate
And have him slated.
Tn. others ere \ pack II clans
That can't te nominated
There's only one man or thom sIl
who shouldn't he rejected,
And any other choice they make
should never 10 elected.
The man I'm for's tho only man
To nominate. by thunder.
Because with any other man
Wc'rc bound 10 be showed under.
AFTER.
Well now. by heck. my candidate
Was finally rejected;
But. raw. hooray. our nominee
Il hound 10 be elected.
". T. LANPTON.
Here's an item about biscuit soutache
said the man who was helping get NJ the
woman's page that day
Does that belong among the cooking
recipes OF the fashion hints" Washing
ton Herald.
In no country on earth" says the
"Russischo Corresponding" have suicid"
and the suicide idea made such progress as
I'm Russia. From ell parts % tho realm ~"
hear Of Instances where young people take
their lives because 81 tho hopeless condi-
lions Life has become void OF object, II
IS not worth while 10 live and struggle
7 am weary Of my existence are among
the recent causes given by young men for
self destruction. Because II Is known that
many suicide societies exist the authorities
are endeavoring to Illustrate their grew
some plans"
Hoax-What is the difference in time be
tween New York aud Paris?
Joax-Oh. ! don't know. You can have
pretty much Of the same time In New YORK
as IN Paris II you know how to 60 ABOUT
Philadelphia Record.