The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1912-11-21
WHEN MR.. PHILBIN
WENT ON THE STAGE
lhy FLoRENcE ,NEYHART.

.. II
just on the amateur stage. But it's
lots worse than real acting ] don't
know anything better calculated to
make a staid, grown-up man kick up
his heels, buy new neckties and gem
orally conduct himself in kittenish
way than a request that he lend his
presence to an amateur production. 1t
holsters him up in his secret convic-
ton that he is perfect mine of ur-
discovered genius.
| "Oh. MOI he said at first You
don't want me! I never acted In any
thing in my life and j can't do 1t! I'd
ruin the piece! Get some one else!
I'd ruin the piece! Get some one
| set Afterward he told me that he
ated to disoblige them but he really
rouldn't do it. l congratulated him on
is good sense, whereupon he looked
It me as though he had caught me
rying to poison him He said he re-
| sretted to see how little confidence
had in his ability and was panied
1t my exhibition of jealousy.
Then he raced to the phone and
old the committee that just to oblige
hem and help them out of hole he'd
take the part.
after that Albert was lost to the
'amily. He passed three whole eve
ings running his hands through his
air and memorizing his part. If
5nolie to him he would stare at me
wildly as though he belonged to an
q her sphere and resented my advent
INTO it.
After he went to the first rehearsal
i'e became very hard at home be-
ause Albert took to going over what
e called the business of his part 1t
: disconcerting to have q man, even
he is your husband, rush at you
rom behind portieres and wander
bout with the furniture in his hands
nuttering to himself!
Mrs. Lemmock called one evening
nd walked in just as Albert tore
trough from the dining room into the
7rlor shaking his fist and yelling, /
ave you now, you moral leper. and
cur life--your life is not worth an
ours purchased You can't blame
RS. Lemmock for taking it person
lily, especially as Albert's fist was
ourished within an inch OF her nose.
During this time il remarked to
Albert that the cook was going to
cave he would stare at me and say,
Scat last, Montmorency, / have un-
masked you!' 1t was impossible to
carry on any conversation with Albert
or weeks. He was always bursting
ont with bits OF his part. Finally he
insisted on my learning the part that
dovetailed with his so that he could
practice at home.
Now, l love my husband and al
ways try to please him, but consider
This my crowning act of self-sacrifice.
Of course Albert was working for pub
lie applause, but IL any one wants to
know what is my idea of zero in
pleasant pastimes should mention re-
hearsing part that you aren't going
TO play. Anyhow, it's upsetting to
have your own husband lean over you
tenderly, gaze into your eyes and
make desperate love to you in dime
novel style! 1t makes you feel so
queer!
by the third rehearsal Albert had
begun to talk about his art and to
speak of we'll known stage people by
their first names. He mentioned the
public as though he had It eating out
of his hand and he adopted the stage
walk. When he stalked downstairs he
thudded like a camel and when he
talked upstairs I always thought of
elephants. He knocked all the bric-a-
brac to pieces parading through the
rooms and when he talked he either
doomed or hissed He demanded DO
tatoes in voice of tragedy and took
to standing before mirrors in profile,
frowning over his shape He said the
mirrors were old and worn out and
gave him a curve out instead of
curve in.
HE got terribly fretful and when
objected he told me that l should
make allowances for the artistic tenn
permanent and that the stage manager
had told him If he had gone on the
stage when he was a youth he un-
doubtedly would nave rivaled Mans
field. Albert gloomed and tyrannized
and had me jumping six ways at once
hunting up his costume and buying
grease paint and eyebrow pencils and
false hair and letting him repeat his
part to me and assuring him that he
was enhancing in it.
When | was worn to shreds the
play was given and had my revenge.
| went around into the wings to see
If Albert needed any help and fell
over a shivering, cronching. chatter
ing individual trying to hide between
a canvas tree and rustic gate. To
my amazement 1t was Albert.
"He grabbed me with two ice cold
hands and clung to me for dear life.
He said he'd die If he had to get out
there before all those people. oh, he
moaned. wouldn't save him?
Il looked him in the eye and said,
Albert. this is just another phase of