The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1912-12-03
MA PUT INDIAN
SIGN ON CUPID
BY LAURA

BY LAURA TURNER.
my ma surely did put the skids I'M
der that Heinz fellow last Sunday
night" laughed the girl with the exag
gerated psyche knot. "He won't come
incoming around my sister Bertha any
more. She giggled as she tucked IN
. few stray hairs that had curled over
her collar and surveyed her pleasing
reflection in the mirror above the lava
tory.
How did she squelch him, Annie?"
asked the sleepy looking blonde,
stretching her wet handkerchief across
tho mirror to Cry It.
well, Bertha's had an awful case
OF Heinzy for quite a while. He's .
widower, with a boy about five years
old, but Bertha said she didn't care,
for she liked him anyway. She used
to rave about him until she made
ma and me tired. l could see from
the start that ma didn't have much
use fon him, and she warned Bertha
that all he was looking for was ONE
body to keep house and cook his meals
for him and take care of that kid of
his.
Bertha said ma was wrong. that
he was head ove ears in love with
her. and she wouldn't hear a word
against him. Ma used to call him
Bertha's hresfde companion, because
he never took her anywhere, but Just
sat around and acted as though he
vuoa otpo{I $N ,0o-d n ~}oL@1
Last Sunday morning Bertha went
out TO the kitchen and asked ma If she
would let her have the Heinz fellow to
supper. that evening. She coaxed
around until ma finally said she could
ask him il she wanted to, but you
could see that ma wasn't at all crazy
about having him come.
AFTER Bertha had gone out and ma
and l were doing up the work, all Of
q sudden l saw that ma had an idea.
She chuckled to herself the rest OF
the morning, but she wouldn't let me
In on the joke. When l asked her
about 1t she just told me l would have
to wait and keep my eyes open and I
would zee something funny.
THAT evening Bertha said she want.
ID to get supper all by herself and
show Heinzy what a grand cook she
was. Ma says All right. II you want
to get q job al housekeeper, Of course
you must give your future boss a sam
pie OF your cooking With that she
went upstairs.
AFTER q while ma came down again
and asked Bertha how she was get.
ting along. Bertha said that everything
was on the stove ready to dish up. and
would ma watch things while she hus.
tied upstairs in order to primp up q
bit?
ma said she would. 90 Bertha beat
It upstairs to doll up for Heinzy.
when we all filed up to the dining
room and sat down things looked good
to me. While ma was bringing in the
dishes she says to Heinzy: I want
you to know. Mr.. Heinz, that Bertha
cooked every bit Of the supper tonight,
so If you like 1t you'll have to give
her all the credit for it.
Heinzy looked over at Bertha with
a fat. contented smile and tucked a
napkin under his double chin. Then
he took a bite Of biscuit and text !
saw him look all around to see II any.
body was watching him as he rolled It
out OF his mouth into his hand and
laid 1t carefully on his plate. l began
to get suspicious, SO I took a bite of
biscuit just to see. Say, 1t was about
The awfulest tasting thing l ever atei
1T was positively green inside!
Bertha had used soda instead of bak.
ing powder. and plenty OF 1t, too, and
the biscuits were simply terrible!
I copied Heinzy and got rid of my
bite quick as l could and took a swal.
low OF coffee to get the taste out OF
ny mouth. Say! The coffee was so
weak 1t was just like water! l look.
ed over at ma and her face was as red
as a beet, she was trying so hard to
keep from laughing.
II knew pretty we'll then who had
q~ueered the supper. Ma must have
put soda in the baking powder can so
Bertha would be sure to get it, and
probably she put plenty Of hot water
IN the conee pot after Bertha had
gone upstairs.
Il was curious to know what else
ma had done, SO l helped myself to a
chop. Salty! 1t was worse than a
mackerel that hadn't been soaked
overnight! Why, l felt picked in
brine after l swallowed it! glanced
over at Heinzy. He was the glummest
looking somebody you ever sawi
Every now and then he looked at Der.
tina with a frown banker than a
thunder cloud.
when We came to pie I found that
ma had even switched pies on poor
Bertha. The under crust was Just like
soft rubber! Heinzy ate the filling out
and left the under crust staring Bertha
in the face. Then we all got up and
went into the parlor, but Heinzy never
said a word about Bertha's fine cook.
ing. Bertha didn't say anything, eth.
er. She had caught on right away
what ma had done, but she never
chirped.
"Heinzy didn't stay very late that
l guess he was anxious to get