Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1912-04-12
BRIDGET O'FLARITY TAKES TEA
WITH MRS. MIKE MALONEY.

Good avenin' Bridget; it is roight
glad Oi am to say ye this avening
The kittle is brewing ana OlIl nave
the tay in the pot in jiffy. Oi would
ave bin all ready for ye when ye got
here only that | had to clane little
Mikes suit. You say you have none OF
these trials Of men and little boys to
worrit the life out Of ye, and yet, the
little boys are the light of me eyes,
God bic IS EN-. Oi, rally felt sorry for
pore little Mike this avening. You see
it happened this wise: Oi had dressed
him all up in his nice new clothes
and told him it was keerful he must
be, as it was company we would be
havin for tay. Miss Bridget O'Flarity,
that was so nate and clane, and was
not used at all to little boys dirt,
Just as Oi had fixed him, all gintale
and sWate, I REMEMBERED that Oi
would need some tay. SO Oi told him
to hurry and fetch me some, and not
git any dirt on his new suit; but by
the blessed Virgin, in less than tin
minutes, that spalpeen cum running
in all covered with mud black mud
at that Siz OF, And where did ye
git all that dirt? And what mugrup
of boy have ye let lick ye and wal
lup we in the mud for? But sez he,
Indade ] have not been licked at all
at all, but it is only that OF was afther
crossing the main street and the mud
had been scraped in one of them rows
so deep OF was afraid Oi could never
get home to ye. Now, what could OF
do but undress him and cuddle him
in bed with some cake while | claned |
his clothes?
"Indade, Misthress Maloney, ye
have me sympathies for your wOrrits
with the little bye, and yet / feel it is
a wonderful mission fur a woman to
raise boys that will be min, intelligent
min that kin run the machinery of
the government.
'Indade it is meself that thinks it
is a mistake for common, ignorant
women to think that they can run the
state, county and city business, like
the min"
And sure, Bridget O'Flarity, what
wimin in her sinses would be afther
runnin' this munysepal government
like the min do? Do We think that
lot of women would make old rough
streets and then put mud on them,
and then hire min and use three ma
chanes tryin' to find one that would
scrape that mud off? Indade. don't
We suppose wimin would be thinkin
of expense, at all?"
"Wcll, Mrs. Mike Maloney. how
would the min git along widout their
offices and their salaries? Do ye not
know the contentious that was on at
the last munysepal section? and
how min was afther losln their jobs
becase they did not vote right? OF
am convinced that wimin would
niver understand all the machinery
of giving jobs for votes A woman,
bein' narrow, would only look at the
question from wan side, but a broad
minded man could see clane thru the
intricaseys Of the job and vote
straight"
"Indade, Bridget OFlarity. it is
sorry Oi am for we; We have too high
opinion of min. Whln ye have lived
with three husbands, as Oi have crest
their sowls In pace). We will find that
min are average critters, good and
bad, jist like wimin, only selhshcr
than any woman could be. See what
that man Dooley said about a Mar l
ket Inspector for Dallas bein wo-
man; says he, She would go inspect
orin around whin it is at home she
should be, raisin bread and children q
Says Oi to little Mike. and why
shouldn't she? Haven't min went ex-
Dectoratin' around, both home and d
lhroad, for ages past? Oi kin tell
'c, Bridget OFlarity, what a man Il
Inspector would do. lie would have
,is mouth Alled with tobacy; as he is
ntered the dure Of the store he would
NpCctorate tohacy juice all on the ca
lure. Oi suppose to kin the microbes.
hin, with a lightning glance at the II
ot to offer as an explanation of the W
II the boss of the sthorc
ndcrstood the machinery of munysc- M
al government he would tip him a
ink out of the right corner of his
ye, and would say 4 respectfully It
SIX yez to come wild me iu the back h
nom' The man inspector would ia
uietly foller him To the rare Of the Ar
hore and would gaze at the flies ON en-
be- ceiling. while the boss handed him wi
hottie. which the man inspector
ould Thoroughly sample Whin the ce
yo came back to the front agin. the NJ
an Inspector would say Wild "a broad ed
nile AN over his face. 10 is right glad
am to see your sthore run So clanc an
ld the conditions so favorable
"Oill tcu N,z. Bridget O'Flarity. Sc -
M say what yez place. woman i'm A
.cctor m.rht hc vain and wear q
ight uniform. hut yc could never
'palc to her stomach. like Sc could =
the man Inspector"
t'WtN AIRS hfILa NTaf,-F,. s...a Y.,tref II