The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-12-14


 at the Baltimore convention.
 First Member-True enough, but that time he had a lot of sympathy. This time he'll need all the consola- ton of religion and he won't even have "Pop to pray for him.
 Second Member~-I went to see Speaker Clark and he was coldly reti- cent.
 First Menber-why, did you ask him anything about the Baltimore convention?
 Second Member-My dear sir. my presence here without medical attend ance is sufficient answer to that que B. ton.
 First Mem Daniels, Raleigh, N. c. News and Observer Is he to be postmaster-general in the Wilson cabinet2
 Second Member-It won't be time to talk about that until next summer.
 First Mernber-Until next summer? Second Member-Yes, don't you re- member that in 1896, 1900 and 1908 we always selected Josephus for the cabinet in July.
 First Member = Hello! There's Joe
 Second Member-Tsn't he wonder he is greatest as an orator, a states man or a political organizer.
 First Member-Of course he's i'm mense in all of those lines; but to my mind he's even greater mathema- tictan.
 Second Member-I don't see how you make that out. 1nOS0 uSuTSS he gave out the day before election about Roosevelt's electoral vote were all wrong.
 First Menber-oh, no. The figures Dixon made was in hitching them on to the wrong man.
 Second Mem L. Fisher, secretary of the interior" There's the $30,000 prize beauty of the cabi- net.
 First Mernber-I don't know about that; Several others look just as good to me. There's Nagel, and Meyer. and Stimson, and Knox and Wilson, and Hitchcock, and MacVeagh and ev- en Wickersham.
 the only one who has ever had an exact valuation.
 First Member-How' that?
 Second Member-Why, it's like this my Garfield and Clifford Pinchot in duced Golfers Weekly to help them deis butted in as the Peoples lawyer and said he'd like to help out, too, and then Brandeis charged Golfers $30.0oo for the job. So you see $80,000.
 First Member-That may be, but the rest of the Cabinet have a va1ua- tion. too. MT. HilIes told me that when he came to make an inventory of the Administrations political as- sets just before election he appraised C11G 0uI1To DunCn aC SO cents. AICSr election he came to the conclusion that he had set the figure too high.
 Second Member see Hilles and are both here. Did they come together?
 First Member-No, they came apart
 Second Member-What is Phflan- der c. Knox in the Cabinet for?
 First Member-He's there to help Wickersham. Second Mem ber-How's that?
 First Member-Why, Knox. is the m nSvl1 Izs k3---, trying tos find a place abroad for the American business which Wickersha m is trying to drive away from home.
 Second Mem ber-I see they're going l to fire George Perkins out of the i Bull Moose party.
 First Mem ber-Yes, it looks as though he and Bill F'1inn would have |
 Second Member-What a shame! 1 And they are both trying so hard to l make this country a fit place for their
 First Member-Victor Rosewater- wasn't he chairman of the Republican national committee for a period?
 Second Member = No, only for a | semi-colon. |
 First Member Why, here right to- | gether are two Oscars-Oscar Under | wood and Oscar Tschirky: is. He's going to revise the tariff; but who is Oscar Tschirky? |
 First Member Why, he's the fa- l nous Oscar of the waldorf-Astoria; | you must have had some experience | with him!
 Second Member--Well, with Oscar trying to reduce the cost of living and Oscar Waldorf trying to increase it, politics in this country is in a hell of a state. ]
 President-Gentleme you are go- ing too far. You are attracting alto gether too much attention. If you 1 have anything more to say about tn he | two Oscars you will have to take your remarks outside! cLEANEAsY. THE BEST HAND