davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
Poxsrtx h.. IL. Advantages.

A man OIL the wane OF life observes
that poverty has advantages and ad-
versity its uses. II you are poor you
can wear ont your old clothes. You
are excused from calls. You are not
troubled with many visitors. Bores do
not disturb you. Spongers do not haunt
your tables. Brass bands do not sere-
made you. No one thinks of present.
ing you with testimonial. No store
keeper lrritates you by asking you.
us there anything can do for you:'
Begging letter writer's do not bother
you. Flattcrers do not fiatter you.
You are saved many debts and many
a deception. And, lastly. II you have
q true friend in the world you are sure
to know 1t In short space of time by
him not deserving you.-Huntsvilie
CTex.) Post-1tem.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
4 LINGUISTIC escApaoE.
When Henry W. LonsseiIow Shocked
intsIlscl ual Boston.

When Henry w. LonsfeiIow Shocked
intellectual Boston.
IN the original impression Of LonK.
fellows poem of "Tiiawatha" there
were found In the seventh book tho
three lines following:
Straight into the river Kwasind
Plunged as II he were an otter.
Dove as II he were a beaver.
How this offending preterit passed
the proofreader without protest Is one
OF those mysteries which have never
been revealed. But the form certainly
made Its appearance and can stu be
found In copies OF the poem which
were regularly published and sold.
Boston never received such shock
since the days when Fenimore Cooper
Insisted that 1t was only In the middle
states that the English language was
spoken in It's purity. But that attack
came from an outsider. Here the Of
fender was of her own household. was.
In fact. her fayorite son. What means
of suppression were resorted to viii.
probably never be disclosed. mystic
rious reticence has always been pre-
served in regard to this linguistic esca-
pode The blographers of l-ongfellow
appear to be silent upon the subject
Measures of some sort must, however.
have been taken at once. Dove was
expunged, and the decorous "dived"
assumed its place. and the whole trans
action was 80 completely hnshed up
that no public scandal WAS created.
let him who possesses a copy Of that
f,rst Impression continue to cherish 1t.
Whatever may be Its worth now. the
time will come when 1t will reach the
value of the virtuous woman Of Scrip
turc, and its price will be far above
rnbics.-Professor Thomas n. Louns'
bury In Harper's Magazine.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
Historic Beauties.

The famous beauties Of the world are
wise when they leave no portraits Of
themselves. Take Marguerite of Va-
lois. She was an immoral, dishonor-
able, criminal. scheming. INSCRIPTIONS
viIlainess. but she was lowered with
such charm that there WINS not jailer
or an enemy she could not charm when
she tried. No. nor woman-not even
the wives of her lovers. Men cnme
from every country, taking ycnr long
journeys. only to see her and went
away, after little glimpse, saying
they Ind seen loneliness itself" Then
one sees her portraits. Too much fore
head, not enough eyebrow. straight
nose and expressive mouth lin one pic
ture lovely mouth)-and that is all.
Mary, queen Of Scots. WINS very lovely
three kingdoms hatfield because of
her beauty-and yet her pictures leave
one cold Fouche said her portrnit
showed every trait of the lowest Grim
inal type. That was before he knew
whose picture he criticised.-I.ondon
Truth
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
Sacrificing the Woman.

That Carlyle could contemplate with
equanImity being unpraised. unmoney-
ed and neglected all his life. that he
required neither the worlds pudding
nor Its breath and could be happy
without them. was pardonable and per
haps commendable. That he should
expect another person to share this
unmoneyed. puddingless and rather
forlorn condition was scarcely con-
sIstent with such lofty principles. Men
may sacrifice themselves. IL they please.
to imagined high duties and ambitions.
but they have no right to marry wives
and sacrifice them.-Exchange.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

In the morning l was generally the
one to waken first and would either
start the alcohol lamp myself or call
Astrup for that purpose. Our morning
meal consisted of lump Of pemmi-
can, six biscuits, two ounces Of butter
and two cups Of tea each. As soon as
this was finished everything was re-
packed on the sledge. then read the
odometer, aneroid and thermometer
md. taking the guidon, which had
waved and futtered over the kitchen
throughout our hours Of rest, from its
place, stepped forward and the next
march was commenced. After from
four to six hours of marching we
would halt for half an hour to eat our
simple lunch of pemmican and give
the dogs rest and then after fonr to
six hours Of travelling halt again ana
repeat the already described route
Robert F.. Peary. '.The' Great White
Journey"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

"lhose who care for the beginnings
of things may be glad that the quill
pen Survives to remind us that the
original pen was plucked from n bird"
observes writer. "Germans and
Frenchmen are in no danger of for
getting that. thanks to their rcspec-
tive words 'feder' and plume but the
English pen suggests n feather only
when one chooses to think about 1t
and recall the Latin 'penna.' Almost
all our writing materials are no longer
what etymologically they profess to
be. Paper is no longer made of pa
pyrus; pencil is not little tail
penicillus,' like camel's hair brush:
the lead of a lead pencil Is not lead,
and the india rubber with which we
eruse Its marks does not and never
did come from India. Even of parch-
ment there is probably not fragment
in the country. except. perhaps. In
museum and coming from Pergumum.
in Asiu."-Chicago News.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
- The
Scrap Book
p,ar,. L,k. Publicity.

In 81. Louis the street numbers run
100 to the block. but the north
and south streets have nnmes In
stead of numbers. So when street
car Is running east and west and
crosses the north and south streets the
conductor says. "Jefferson-Twenty
SIX" or "Grand-Thirty-si as the
case may be.
A birthday party was riding Oh one
Of these cars q short time ago. Whom
the car reached Sarah street and the
conductor announced. "Sarnh Forty
one." q large woman in the party be-
gan beating small man on the head
with an umbrella.
After the conductor Ind quietcd the
disturbance he asked the woman what
the row was about.
Why she said Indignantly. Just
because l had my forty-first birthday
party today I'm nice. quiet. iady-like
way there was no need Of him telling
you how old I am. SO you could bawl
II out to the whole car."-Saturday
Evening Post.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
Got Rid Of the Scum.

She was city bride who had never
before taken hand in housekeeping
and knew but little about things in the
kitchen. A few mornings ago she got
after the mllkman.
whats the matter with your milk ?"
she said, with great vehemence.
81 don't know" he replied. "Whnt do
you find wrong with it?'
"well." she said, "every morning 1t
is covered with n nasty yellow scum"
"And what do you do with the
scum"
why, I skim 1t of. of course. and
throw 1t in the garbage can."-Farm-
ers' Guide.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

A well known amateur ynchtsman Of
New York tells this Joke on himself:
With few friends he started on II
cruise by way of Long Island sound
They kept close to the shore. and.
owing to the lack Of wind and to the
alowness Of their boat. they were still
drifting by familiar country week or
30 after they left Gotham-
At one point Of land they passed a
solemn Individual sat fishing. For
some hours the boat made virtually no
progress. and after awhile the fisher
mau reused himself sufficiently to ask:
"where are ye folks from?"
"New York"
slow long outT"
"Since June ].
Then after pause the man asked:
what year!'-LippincOtt'
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

In Scottish village a farm laborer
named Bill Brown lost his wife. While
on her deathbed she implored him
to never marry again after she was
gone. Furthermore. should I've do 10
she would scratch through the ground
and come back to punish him. The
threat apparently had due effects for
some months. the widower rejecting
many tempting offers. After time
however. the village got to Whispering
about Bill being seen walking with u
certain lass. Met one day by rela-
tive Of the wife. he was asked IL there
was any truth IN the rumor that was
about the village. to which he replied
10 the affirmative.
Are We no afraid Of poor Mary's
threat p queried the relative.
mae fear O. that. my lad. took
good care to hae her berrit face ddon-
wards. % the mnir she scratches the
farther she'll sisg DOOM
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
Tn. oriain of !. Miserable joke.

Confucius had just met William Penn
ut one of CleOpatra's 8 o'clock tens.
civilian PENN" he said. william
Penn? Seems to me have heard or
you. sir"
..Hes," said Penn. with a pleased
smile. IL am the man who was might
ier than the sword"
"Ah, yesr' said Confucius. You are
also the man who invented sleep. are
you not?"
NO" said Penn: ~ founded Phila-
delphia."
"Oh, yes" said Confucius. 81 knew
II was something of that kind."-Suc-
cess Magazine.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

The following Is one Of the stories
told about Eugene Field:
There were visitors In prospect one
afternoon In the Field household and
a strike in the culinary department.
Mischief was at food tide, and Mrs.
Field WIS vuinly endeavoring to be
everywhere at once when the man OF
''sharps and fats appeared In the
Kitchen doorway with folio In his
hand.
"Oh. won't you watch those pies for
nue. while run upstairs for an In
stant?" his wife exclaimed. BE sure
not to let the meringues scorch. 1t
would ruin them. You'd better give
me that book or they'll be burned to a
crisp" With mock neekness MIR. Field
allowed her to carry OF his treasure.
On returning she was Mortified to find
the oven door wide open and the rich.
duffy meringue fat. tough aud leather
like.
They're ruined" she exclaimed in
dismay. why didn't you keep the
oven door shut?"
Keep the door shut" Mr.. Field re-
peated In very genuine amnzeiDent.
why. you told me TO watch them
every instant. and I'D like TO know
how could do that with the oven door
shut"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
THE PALACE WAITED.
A Suggestion rhat Changed the Plans
Of Pope.

VI Sfvs
At time when there was great SUI.
fering among the people from lack Of
food and when famine In Its worst
form was threatened Pope Alexander
vi. had made arrangements for the
erection Of n magnificent palace. The
best architects had been employed. and
the plans had been submitted and ac-
cepted, and an accomplished builder
had been sent for to come from Venice,
a man whose work had won for him
rcnown and who was known to he
just and upright man.
The builder had arrived, and at m
appointed time he waited upon his
holiness to receive the plans and make
his estimates. There Is one thing yet
to be DONE" said the pope. "There
has been no proper inscription or leg
end thought of to be placed over the
main entrance of the palace. 1t should
be put above the great gate. You have
had experience. Do you think Of an In.
scriptlon that would be appropriate
..lf your holiness would pardon me
eor the liberty, l might suggest one
most appropriate at this time"
lyon are pardoned in advance" said
the pope. smiling. Nov. what shall
1t be?"
sovereign pontin. let 1t be thus:
Command that these stones be made
breadr"
The pope was visibly and deeply af-
fected. He paid the builder munif-
Gently for his expenses of coming and
going. and instead of building his pal
ace he fed the hungry ones of bis
children.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

A charming young lady who Glories
In the possession Of wealth Of bright
auburn colored hair Is the teacher OF
q Sunday school class. On recent
Sabbath the rector made the announce
ment of hymn to be sung and. rts-
ing. waved his hands. and the organ
peaIed forth.
'Now." said he. ''ready-sing!'
A small and precocious youth in the
young wOman's class said:
'why don't you sing. Miss Frisbee?"
'Me! Oh. I never sing" replied the
teacher. smiling her prettiest.
-But." exclaimed the boy. the min
ister says you must. Didn't he just
say Now. Reidy. sing!"
Smelling saks and numerous other
rsstoeatives had to he used to bring
the teacher out Of her faint.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
90 Reward

The Piceance and Yellow Creek
Stock association will pay 10000 re-
ward for the arrest and conviction of
my person stealing, killing or ma
uciously injuring any range cattle or
'urses belonging to any member OF
aid association. A suitable reward
viii also be paid for the arrest and
conviction of any person guilty OF
logging cattle on the open range.
Il. F. HALEY, President.
A. OLDLAND, Secretary.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

Here is Il remedy that will cure
your cold. Why waste time and
money experimenting when you can
get n preparation that has won
world wide reputation by its cures OF
this disease and can always be-, de-
pended upon? 1t is known every
where as characteristics Cough REM
edy, and is a medicine Of real merit.
For sale by all dealers.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
Frtghtfill Polar Winds

blow with terrific force at the far
north and play havoc with the skin,
causing red, rough or sore chapped
hands and lips. that need Bucklen's
Arnica Salve to heal them. Itmakes
the skin soft and smooth. Unrivaled
for cold sores; also burns, boils. sores,
ulcers, cuts. bruises and piles. Only
25c, at all druggists.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
Mature.

A. fond mother. when the day is DER.
Leads by the hand her little child to
bed.
Half willing. half reluctant to be led.
And leave hip broken piaythings on the
stii, casing at them through the open
door.
Nor wholly treasured and oomforted
BY promises of others In their stead.
Which. though more splendid. may not
please him more.
30 nature deals with US and takes away
Our playthings one by one and by the
hand
Leads US to rest so gently that We go
Scarce knowing II we wish to go or stay,
Being too full of sleep to understand
How far the unknown transcends the
what we know.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
Discretion.

Wife (whose husband. the local
mayor. has just been knighted)-Have
you heard from the man who offered
to trace our pedigree? Husband-Yes;
he has found out more than enough.
wife-What did you pay him? Hus-
band = Fifty pounds to hold his
tongue!-London Opinion.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
For Sale

A good stock ranch of 240 acres, In
hay; lots of water for all the land,
every foot of which can be watered.
1t IL both close to the range and to
shipping point. willsell on easy
terms, or will lease. Address DIR. o.
l.. Mccartney, Glenwood Springs,
Colorado.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

He-Here is n thrilling account Of
the way In which that daring woman
climbed to the top of a mountain
which Is five miles high. Wonderful,
isn't It? She-Yes. What did shs
wear?-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
Wind Mills

See the new Star wind mill, sold
by A. f. Lytle. These mills are per-
f-ctly self-governing; automatically
throwing themselves out of gear;
adjusted to any velocity Of wind.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
Generous.

sMy husband is the most unseinsh
Of menr' exclaimed Mrs. Youngwife.
~ gave him whole box Of cigars
and he only smoked one and gave all
tie rest away"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
The Qasideratum.

George. what do you have to do
when you draw some money out Of a
bank" asked an innocent young wife.
"Yon have to put some money In the
hank beforehand" replied the hus-
band That's always been my ex
pericncew
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

Unlimited money to loan on farm
security. Low interest. For partic-
ulars apply to F. E. Sheridan. (tD
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

MY husband always Is the severest
critic Of the gowns wear"
well. Judging from what have
heard. he has to go some II he Isl
chicago Record Herald.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

The reason many people never
have coughs is because they
have learned to use Lunga-
line at the first symptoms.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
For Sale--Fine Ranch

On Strawberry; known as the Nc
Kimpson ranch. 800 acres patented
land. Good water. Good range. Part
under cultivation. A big bargain.
Inquire or write l.. n. Boner, Meeker.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
Well Bred.

.Do you speak the truthT
"Not always"
"Why not always?"
II hate to be impolite. Nashville
American.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
DIR. Taylor, dentist, Meeker.
Get Your Harness

repaired and oiled during the winter
months. We will be rushed with
work in spring. At r. Hartke's Har-
ness and Saddlery shop, Baer block.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

LOST-Key ring containing three
keys. Reward. Return to this Office
or to Professor Patton's residence.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

our samples will help you decide.
The HERALD.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

Prejudice. which sees what II pleasea.
.annot see what Is plain.--Aubrey Dc
We're.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

See THE HERALD for your society
engraving. The best this side Of Chi
cagO.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

Paradise Is for those who ceatfs'
their anger.-Korau-
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06

Spouting and fluming, at A. E.
Lytle's.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
Will cure your cold
BROMO-FERRIN
while You sleep
Money to Loan.

DIR. R. H. Taylor, dentist, Meeker.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-01-06
A HIGH CLASS MAGAZINE

Bubbling Over With Good Things
It's contributors are the foremost men
and women Of the land. 1t is the same size
as Saturday Evening Post and is beautifully
illustrated throughout. Politics, good fc-
ton, brilliant reviews, interesting depart
ments, humor. with George AIDE and John
Kendrick Bangs as regular monthly contrib
utors to this department. A magazine that
will interest every member in the family.
The Washington times., 1912-12-11
Three Are Arrested
For Demanding Money
Or Gov. Wilson's Life

NEW YORK. Dec. 1i.A-A letter re-
ceived by President-elect Wilson.
threatening him with death unless he
paid 5000. led to the arrest by Federal
officials Of three woodchoppers. living
in log huts at Fort Mine. an iron min
ing settlement adjoining the town Of
Wharton. In Morris county. N. ].
The men arrested were Jacob Dunn.
8 years old, otherwise known as Mig"
his brother, Warren Dunn. 81 years old,
known as "Pete," and Seeley Daven-
port, q years old. known as "Snake."
The letter was received at the gov
crnor's office In Trenton on November
II last, and was opened by his private
secretary, Joseph T. Tumulty.
The letter was written in q large
scrawling hand. and was dated Novem-
ber II. The body Of the letter read:
SMr. Woodrow Wilson. ! am now ago
in to warn you Of what we are agoin'
to do to you ~ we did not want Teddy
or Mckinley either they got shoot Just
the same say Wilson you have got the
oice as President yes and we are death
to Presidents 30 no Wilson II yo uhave
got 5000 In gold for this party we will
Spair your life; but II not we will shoot
YOU before you get in the office as sure
a. your name IL Wilson SO We give you
time to think the matter over SO we
will know what you are doing right OF
wrong. Address p. ]. Shadunk, r. F.
D., Route 2 Box 43. Wharton, N. ].
The Washington times., 1912-12-11
UNCLE SAM READY
TO FACE FIGHT
ON CANAL TOLLS
Despite Attitude of Admins
tration Those on Hill Have
Made Up Minds.

That this Government will not retreat
on the question Of It's right to settle
for itself tho freedom from tolls of
American vessels In the coastwise trade
using the Panama canal IL tho c0nvic-
ti0n that obtains at the Capitol.
1t Is not 80 certain that the Admin
istration will stand firm. Reports are
that the President Ii wavering and may
send to the Senate special agreement
for the reference Of the question to the
Hague.
Il would require the ratification Of the
Senate. however. to put this agreement
Into operation. All the Indications are
that the Senate will refuse to consent
A two-thirds vote Of the Senate would
be needed and there IL every indication
now that such q vote cannot be had.
Senators who oppose free tolls for the
most part are lining up on the British
side OF the controversy. But even some
Of those who believe this Government
should not allow free tolls to American
vessels IN the coasting trade take the
view that the question IL domestic
one and that Great Britain cannot prop
erly ask arbitration.
The feeling 10 widespread in Congress
that the Canadian Pacific railway IL at
the bottom OF the whole British pro-
test. This feeling prevents a large
share Of Congress from taking much
stock In the opposition to free tolls.
The Washington times., 1912-12-11
TAKES UP CHARGES
OF MADERO HOLD-UP
Senate Investigates Allegations He
Sought 100000 From
American Firm.

Allegations that President Madero Of
Mexico tried to hold up +: X. Warren
& Sons. OF Three Oaks. Mich. for 500. 0o0
TO further the Mexican revolution
against Diaz before the battle OF Juarez,
were investigated yesterday behind
close doors by the subcommittee Of the
Senate Committee on Foreign Relations.
which IL probing the financing Of Mexi.
can revolutions.
The warrens own large ranch prop
erty In Mexico, and Charles X. Warren
and other Americans owning property
In Mexico are here to protest to tho
State Department that they are uapro-
tected. and are being harshly and un.
Justly treated by the Mexicsns.
The Washington times., 1912-12-11
Easy to End
CATARRH


Don't be prejudiced. There 10 not Q
particle OF morphine. cocaine. or any
OMEI.
II Is made Of Eucalyptus and other
grand antiseptics. It will Ereatly re.
heve the misery OF catarrh or any At
Fiction OF the nose or throat In five
minutes
No stomach dosinG-just breathe HY::
OME1. II gets at the catarrh germs and
quickly destroys them.
Ask for HYoMEI .tpronoenced Hish::
o-me) OUTFIT. 1t only costs Sl.00. and
consists OF a hard rubber. pocket in.
haier.. which. can be carried in vest
pocket. q bottle Of HYOMEI. q medicine
dropper. and simple directions for use.
Extra bottles II needed. 60c.
Leading druggists everywhere sci!
HYOMEI. which is guaranteed to end
catarrh. coughs. colds and Group. or
money returned.
II YOU could go to the Eucalyptus for:
ests OF inland Australia you would
quickly get rid Of catarrh. Booths n.y.
OMEI brings the identical air OF these
forests direct to your home. 1t is q
most wonderful catarrh remedy. Ask
Jas. O'Donncll about II.