The Washington herald., 1912-09-22
She Avoids Incarceration as Match Smuggler
Upon Her Arrival and Makes Her Invasion of
the French Capital in Style, Her Chief
Woe Being Due to the Pratical
Tendencies of Fiacre Driver.

are about the finest things In ear-split-
ting juggernauts ever put on the market.
They RUMBLE and groan and thunder.
and they've got horns that toot with
sort Of catch In the throat. and they're
the busiest tooters you ever heard.
think the drivers amuse themselves with
those horns. for they don't just warn
you at street corners; their way II one
prolonged, triumphant. raucous toot.
Then there are thousands Of pufiing taxfs
and other motor vehicles. all fitted out
with the latest devices for telling you
they're coming.
Well, Of course, the facre drivers can't
be left out of all this merry clamor. 80
they've learned a brand new way to
crack their whips. Take It from me. it's
awful
Why. the first time heard IT bounded
up like a rubber ball, and looked for the
firecracker. It's a regular Fourth Of July
sound. and it's all over the place.
The only Inhabitants Of Paris that
aren't bit disturbed by It are the horses
themselves. They know it's Just
plague" so they pay absolutely no at
tention to it.
Then add to all these noises the fact
that nobody can leave any one else to
his own affairs here. and that every
body is gifted with language, and you
can imagine there's some buzz of con-
versation. Buzz did I say-I mean there's
one constant shrek of conversation.
A GALLO INCIDENT.
came up to my hotel in style. II DO
aha w. Tv, 20 %f thA ra
had to be cleared for my progress.
You see. there was something In the
way Of a fracas going on. and everybody
in the neighborhood had kindly put aside
all other interests and was devoting con-
centrated attention to the combatants.
The upper windows were blocked with
women's heads. Shop proprietors stood in
their doorways; pretty. pale working
girls got as near as they could to the
fight, and a procession Of butcher boys.
postmen and loafers hung around the
outskirts. Yes. there were policemen
present. but. bless you. they didn't count
at all. They gesticulated and talked
lot, but no one paid the slightest heed to
them. and the road was quite tightly and
securely blocked.
rs 1t that you cannot see I have an
English lady traveller here. imbeciles?"
shouted my driver, and he arose in his
seat, partly to look at what was going on
and partly to impress the crowd. Incl
dentally he cracked his whip about ten
times
Immediately all the other drivers and
chauffeurs also called out things about
''imbeciles" and "espece d'imbeciles."
Nd he q
few moments. Nobody moved. but every
body talked hard and had a jolly time.
Perhaps I never should have got into
my hotel II there had not been a diver
sion. A funeral came slowly along. a
fourth or fifth Glars funeral, the hearse
covered with wreaths OF those hopeless.
artificial flowers the French love. In
moment the crowd parted. and every man
and woman stood with bowed head while
the sad little procession passed. slipped
along behind it, and Immediately every
body closed in again and the discussion
Continued.
Ny driver acted as If he had done the
whole thing himself. He cracked his
whip Importantly. curled up the ends of
his mustache and made me pay twice the
real fare.
1t wasn't exactly a gay arrival, but
snapped my fingers at omens. Paris was
gay. must be gay, always will be gay.
Ard / put on glad raiment and sent for
the one and only French male Of my ac-
quaintance to show me his city.
He came. and 1 gasped when 1 saw him,
for he wasn't bit French any more.
When I met him. way back in the dim
past, he used to wear with pride silky.