The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1912-09-13
CANNOT RELY ON JOHN
WIFE FINDS "sTRoNo RIGHT
ARM" THEORY WRONG.
She Thought He Would Rid Her Path
Of All Annoyanoes, Great and
Small, but She Knows
Better Now.

When I married my John, firmly
expected 10 lean upon his strong right
arm, having always heard that that
was what a strong right arm was for.
And / firmly expected him TO rid my
path OF the small annoyances OF life,
as we'll as be n haven OF refuge in
lhe vaster perplexities. In a word, |
expected him 10 combine the roles Of
Iolicitous lover and proyldent hus-
band. say / expected this. says a
writer In the New York Evening Post
John and / were married In the au-
tumn. When our honeymoon was
over We moved into an apartment.
Our landlady had an apartment under
IS. AS she would not give us enough
heat, went TO my John about It.
John, Of course, would see that l
had enough heat. But did / really
need more heat? The house seemed
comfortable to him. (He was out OF
II all day. lie sort of hated to get
into an argument with a lady. We
liked the apartment. didn't we, and II
we insisted upon more heat, II might
strain our relations with the landlady,
which would be unpleasant, as we
were living in the same house,
wouldn't Il?
After surviving several bad colds,
gave John a long. sneaking look, took
the matter into my own hands, made
the landlady give us a written re-
lease, and moved out Of the apart
nent.
At first when went out with John
to mingle with our best restaurant
classes ! sat back like a fat little para
site. lazily enjoying having a man look
after me, even to ordering my food.
But John always confused the order
| got lobster Newburg when l wanted
lobster salad. John never noticed
which waiter was serving us-John
never could catch the head walters
eye-we were always having to wait
for salt or for bread while the dinner
cooled. As ordering meals was in my
daily housekeeping routine, soon
took over the ordering and John sat
back like the fat little parasite.
Upon another occasion when l tried
to lean on Johns strong right arm we
barely escaped arrest. We were on a
Pullman car with an impertinent por-
ter, l mentioned his impertinence to
John, expecting John to issue a repri-
mand. But John knocked the porter
down. There was a dreadful commo-
ton. Ladies screamed and the con-
ductor came rushing up. John wanted
TO knock the conductor down. The
conductor objected and threatened to
have us arrested at the next station.
After some pleading and arguing l
Gained John, pacified the conductor,
tipped the porter and secured peace.
When We bought our home we de-
cided to have some of the trees cut
down. ! showed the tree chopper the
trees that were to be sacrificed, but
he sent his son to do the Job before
we had moved out, and the son lost
his instructions and cut down every
tree in the froit yard. In tears went
to my John, but John said: "Now,
fearie, you are the mistress of this
house. / don't want to butt in"
Gradually my own right arm has
grown a little stronger I don't re-
gret it. ! don't even consider that it
would be fair to John to do too much
home leaning on his strong right arm.
He has a good deal to worry him
downtown. All that l regret or con-
iider is that, possibly, a good deal of
waste went into the forming of my ro-
mantle Illusions.