Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-02-15
M@N.THE.SPUR.
E1F.THE.MoMENT
~ BY ROY r.. MOuLToN.
K. MOULToN,

OF the romantic novels OF h presen
ear Will do him.
German sufrragets want to Join TIN
will he perfectly willing.
Secretary stimsor says this countr,
Is in no shape for war. Good, ther
we. simply can't IA one.
Grand Junction, colo, has a either
ia years OF age. When he dies GRAND
Junction will have hard work staying
In the newspapers.
Andrew Carnegie says he looks for
ward to a very happy winter. Uncle
Andy is one OF those who are SUI
ticiently we'll heeled to look forward
with impunit~.
Mr.. zee will be head of the depart
ment of education in the Chinese re-
public. 1t seems as though Mr.. Yee
should be an editor.
DR.. Wiley has been asked to de-
fine the component parts of a mince
pie. a mince pie Us composed OF Il
crust and n little of everything.
The Chicago police are searching
for n oma who has rabies and
doesn't kno 1t. But so long as she
doesn't find it out, whats the diff
ference.
hen the Yuanited States of China
wouldn't be SO bad for a name either.
Or perhaps. the Wu-Nited States of
china
However. things will be tranquil in
dear old Lunnon until the women cast
the ballot instead of the brick.
Experts have figured 1t out that 1t
costs % cents per mile to carry a
IA cents a minute. Well. at the pres
ent cost OF living. flying is even then
cheaper than staying on the ground.
Employees OF the steel trust must
not use tobacco while OH duty. But
of course this does not prevent them
from smoking cigarets.
Professor Sargent. OF Harvard. says
the trousers are better than the skirt
for all purposes. But not for flag
ging a train. professor.
New Workers now carry beer in
oyster buckets. An oyster bucket.
by the way. is one of the best places
to carry beer.
One OF the vaudeville actresses has
adopted the name of Mona Lisa. May
| be some rich art collector will steal
| her.
A Chicago man was bitten by an
oyster. No. it didn't happen at a
church oyster upper.
1t takes only IL hours to make a
Chinese day, and that is long enough
a day for anybody in that country.
Mr.. Bryan believes in the initiative.
referendum and recall. But there are
probably some events that he would
just as soon not recall.
The main business street of Colum-
bus, Ohio. is High street, which seems
very appropriate in view of the cost
of living.
But no party of men could possibly
be as innocent as those beef trust au-
thorities look right now.
There seems to be considerable un-
certainty as to Mr.. Roosevelt's future.
Mr.. Roosevelt. by the way. seems to
share this uncertainty.
The middle name of the new lord
x.A- - L. w.
or may not signify anything in par
ticular.
The French now think that Mona
Lisa was stolen by an American. But
an American would never have left the
frame.
Or. Sun. the new president of China,
certainly sounds good to the news
paper headline writer's.
After the government takes the
watch trust apart nobody will ever be
able to put 1T together again and get
all the wheels in.
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER.
In some of the remote OF this
country there are still fellers who are
tryin' to win q solid gold washed watch
by guessing how man beans there are
in II glass jar.
There never was a time when there
We're so many fellers in this country
lookin' for trouble n so few gettin'
it.
Mrs. Hank Higgins. of our town. is
practicin' up to go on the stage n be
an actress. After she has been di-
vorced once more, she thinks she will
be we'll qualified.
Amateur tenors cause about half Of
the misery in his world and squeaky
monographs cause the other half.
Most of the young lady pianists who
saw thay can't NAV nOthin' m11ch are
tellin' the truth.
There is goin' to be another case of
matri-money in Hickeyville next month
when one of our young ladies is goin'
to strike it rich by marryin' the pro-
| prietor of 8 movin' pitcher show.
There amt hardly any Teller now
adays that can't run a typewriter, but
there amt anybody that can run a
| stenographer.
There was a i'm when the fellers
from this town that went to the city
was afraid to look at the electric lights
Hank has stopped rinkin' q
| good many times in his life. In fact,
he stops every night.
Undertaken Amos Butts OF our town
expects to begin his spring planting
soon.
1 never yet see a book agent that
didn't wear rubber heels.
Grandpa Bibbins says he kin re-
member when a Teller could get a
good segar for q nickel, but 1t don't
seem as though any Teller could be
as old as that-not even Methusaler.
What has become OF the travelin'
man that used to come along and
write his name on the plate glass
cigar case with his diamond ring?
Operations IN always successful.
What people die OF is the shock.
A feller kin show that he Is an
aristocrat in a good many other ways
than by wearin' q soiled white vest.