Devils Lake weekly world. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1911-1914, 1912-08-30

AAA4A WA010 al DAduuC WAS, Wueu 0ln
was strolling along the street looking
at the high buildings. "Why," said
Bill, "he unloaded a new automobile
today and is down the street buying
a new automobile cap, so he can run
it home" Pickley is usually taken
along to prevent tire troubles, no
puncture ever having occurred during
Bills occupancy of the car.
Zone of the saddest things that
ever happened to break the serenity
Of my family life took place some
months ago." said E. W. Gilbertsol
one morning as he was seated in tho
car beside Sam Wineman and he
glared at Sam in "a manner that tho
latter thought was acious.
"Why, what was the matters''
"My wife received a shock at that
time and 1t chung to her for many
day.
Mr.. WineEan looked SYMPATHETIC
and said: "Well, what happentde"
'tIt was this way" and the head
of the traveller grew red in the fact
as he thought Of the occurrence. s'she
was taking part in rummage sale
that was given by her church. It .,as
warm day and so she took off her
best new hat, for which I had just
paid $14.50 and laid it down on the
table,
"Well, don't see what great CAL
amity there was in that. Did some
one sit on it,"
"It's coming. Some noodle of =
woman 'old 1t for two dollars.'' 4M
How many apples did Adam and
Eve eatf The old version says: Eve
8 and Adams 2 GIVE ate and Adams
too)-total 10. This is what certain
American newspapers have to say
about it:
Nebraska Herald: Eve and Adam
8-total 16.
Mississippi Gazette: We don't see
this: Eve and Adam s 2-total 80.
New York Screamer: Our contem-
porary is entirely wrong: Eve 8 l ana
Adam l 2-total 500.
Ohio Advertiser: We reason like
like this: Eve 4 herself and Adam
1 2 Eve-total 1898.
Illinois Telegraph: Eve a
know how it tasted and Adams 2 /
see what it might be like-total
1924. , ~, !. .ss. 4: ~-.nzA
/ Sam Wineman says the trouble with
us Is that when We want to kill =
mosquito we tip over the chairs, break
window and step on the dog, and
then we frequently miss tho mosquito.
A facetious POSTMASTER who was
introducing former Governor Black.
of New York, did so in these words:
'And now we ara to hear Governor
Black-Governor Black, one of our
most popular little after-dinner speak
ers. He dimes out e~ery night. He
always makes a speech. Indeed, it
has become an axiom in New York
that all you have to do with Black
is to drop dinner in the slot and
up comes a speech"
Black arose.
"There is one way in which I differ
from our genial POSTMASTER" he
began. "He says you can drop .
dinner in the slot and up will come
speech from me; but with him it
is reversed. If he drops speech in
the slot up comes the dinner. ''-Ev-
erybody's Magazine.
John Daely, the expert farmer and
chicken raiser, was meditating this
morning on the dissatisfied.
1T just left the worst case Of pes
simism I ever say in my life /" saii
he.
"There was a farmer came to me
from away out in the country. 1 knew
he was always dissatisfied, but I
didn't know he was as bad as found
him.
III just thought I'd sound him and
see what he had to say about the
crops, which I knew on his farm
could not be beat.
"Well, how is everythingi" I ask
ed.
"He had been smiling when I ap-
preached, but the minute said that
the corners of his mouth drew down
and he looked solemn as he replied:
f" well, don't know
81 don't think you have anything
to kick over this fall" said I. "Isn't
your crop the best everf'
"And he replied that they were.
+" fAnd the price is about as good
as you can expecta' I remarked.
+" well, yes,( guess So he said
F." well what in thunder have you
got to growl at now, and why are you
looking SO solemns'
'"Re glared at me q moment and
then he SLOWLY draw1ed ont.