davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18
WHY CREAM TESTS VARY
HANDLING OF THE SEPARATOR
MAKES DIFFERENCE.
Experiments at Missouri College OF
Agriculture.

The farmer is often worried be-
cause his cream test is different from
time to time, When he has not
changed the setting of the cream
screw he thinks that the test should
always be the same. Extensive ex-
periments at the dairy department of
the Missouri College OF Agriculture
proved that several factors may enter
in TO make this difference. The cream
buyer then, should not be suspected
of dishonesty on account of this va.
Tintion
In addition to the adjustment Of
Abe cream screw and the amount Of
water or skim milk used to flush out
che cream, the main factors affecting
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

are important, but the question Of &C.
tual termination is more important
than all OF them.
Several good plans have been used
FOR supplying the warmth and mois.
ture necessary for the test. II there
Is a large amount OF seed to test,
probably It would pay to make a box
especially for the purpose, filing it
with sand and marking Off with cords
into a checkerboard design, having
one square for each ear. The sand
will stay moist and 1t can be kept in
the house by the stove for heat. II II
is desired to test only few ears, q
simple way is to use moist blotting
paper or cloths on large dinner plate.
Put the kernels between layers OF
cloth and cover with another plate to
keep from drying out. This is good
way TO begin the testing.
Every farmer who raises corn
should try 10 improve his corn each
year by every method he knows, and
there is no more important factor
than the improvement OF the seed.
Now while there Is more leisure time
than there will he later in the spring,
this should be attended to.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18
Mnnania MaY.

"A woman's convention, Ell? What
do women know about enthusiasm?
Now at the last national convention
We men cheered our candidate for an
hour"
"Thats nll right" said his wife.
I'VE threw kisses at ours for sixty.sev-
en- minutes by the clock. "-Louisville
Courier Journal.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

Thousands OF Consumptives die every
year. Consumption results from a neg.
lected cold on the lungs. Iamlins Wizard
Oil will cure these colds. just rub it into
the chest and draw out the inflammation.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18
HlR Exact Sort.

what kind OF glass OF fashion
did Ophella consider Hamlet" AS
long as she called him Lord Hamlet,
| suppose she considered him peer
glass"
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

inflow reduces both the cream and
the skim milk, but the former some
what more in proportion than the
latter. a smaller inflow therefore in.
creases the per cent of fat in the
cream more or less.
The above facts were determined
by Professor c. II. Eckles. assisted by
II. 5. Wayman. Professor Echles has
the following TO say regarding cream
testing:
while the farmer selling cream
must expect reasonable variations in
the per cent Of fat in the cream sold,
be is also entitled to have his cream
tested accurately and carefully by q
man who thoroughly understands how
It should be done, and who has the
appliances at hand. The cream buyer
to comply with the laws of the state
must weigh out the sample taken for
testing. Any farmer selling cream is
entitled TO demand that this be done
and to object to selling cream on
ttbtb hlaue ny IhedsuIlHb with u
pipette. There is no reason why the
farmer should not satisfy himself re-
garding the test. 1t is an easy mat
ter for any farmer to test cream ap.
proximately correctly, while 1t would
not be easy for him to make a test
sufficiently accurate TO serve as
basis for buying or selling without
purchasing small cream scale. This
might be greater expense than he
would care to invest. The farmer. by
use OF an ordinary Babcock testing
machine and by measuring the cream
with the same pipette which is used
for measuring milk, can make a test
of his cream that will satisfy him as
to the correctness OF the test he re-
ceives from the cream buyer"
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18
Refora the Errap

why are you rushing around so to-
day." I'm trying to get something
for my wife?" Had any offers7"-
Louisville Courier.Journal.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18
Too Much RecIlnlnu.

How was It that Camps failed in
his bed.manufacturing businessi" He
got too much in sympathy with tho
business" How could he do thatT
ale lay down on the Job"
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

You will notice that the man who Is
always talking about how hard no
had to work when he was young is
usually behind with his work now.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

The annual per capita fire waste in
Europe averages S3 cents. while in
the United states Il amounts to s2.51.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

The total fire loss Tor the year 1911
10 expected to total at 100000, 900 in
the United States end Canada.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

Some people get so accustomed to
looking on the bright side that they
cant see the other side Mt all.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18
Hlnh Aim.

lie: US endeavor so to live that
when We come to die even the under
taker will be sorry."-Mark Twain.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18
Mo Doubt Ahnut IL.

And every good husband. no doubt,
is sure that he is married to one of the
worlds twenty greatest women.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

The fellow who shoots of his mouth
doesn't always hit the mark.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take LAXATIVE BRoMo ouinine Tablets
Druggists refund money II II fails " cure. Il. W.
GHOVE5 signature 10 on oh box. &c.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

PILES CURED IN TO IL DAYS
Your druggist viii refund money II PAZO ONT
HkNr falls TO euro any case OF Itching Blind.
Bleed Nc or Prutrudlng Piles IN to IL days. DC
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

The only time some people worry il
when they worry other people.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18
I'VE must recognize that th'

I'VE must recognize that the
work OF women is made more
effective by special training as
we'll as the work OF men. Mis-
souri, has provided more gener-
ously for the special training OF
men than for women. Larger
attention should be given in
schools to courses in Home Eco
Monies, not only In colleges an&
universities, but in the high
schools and rural schools Of the
state.
The management of the
household is too important to
be placed in the hands of ignor-
ant, unframed and inefficient
women. The development OF
modern applied science has
clearly Indicated the usefulness
of careful training in the duties
OF housekeeping."--F B. Mum
ford, Dean of College of Agri-
culture, University OF Missouri.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

Smokers like Lewis Single Binder cigar
for It's rich mellow quality.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

The easiest thing In tho world to
make light of is ton OF coal.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

There is difference between being
useful and being used.
The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1912-01-18

W. N. w., ST. LOUIS, NO. s-1s12.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1912-07-19
A VERSATILE INSTRUMENT.

But It Didn't Appeal to the Ovsrworked
| Housewife.
TINE woman looked up YEARLY
| from her breadmaking as the
shadow of the affabie stranger
streamed in through the open door
way.
"Waal. what do you wantT' she
drawled, pausing in her work.
Nothing, madam replied the af-
fable stranger amiably. Il have come
to bring you something that you want
Hicks patent adjustable noneother-
such clothes wringer, the acme of
wringers, the paragon off,
Don't want it, returned the wo-
man, resuming her kneading. I'VE
don't do our own washin' in this
house. Land sakes! should say not.
What with cookln' meals for the old
man, three boys an six husky farm
hands with appettes like alleygaters.
1 don't git no chance to do no wash
in. After we've baked fifteen pies Il
day.
II was going on to say. madam.
smiled the affable stranger. that this
wringer does not cOnfine it's usefulness
to clothes and the need of the wash
tub. 1t is also an invaluable aid to
the housewife confronted daily with
an overwhelming amount Of cooking.
A handful of dough placed between
the rollers and run through with just
three twists of the crank handle en-
tirely does away with the arduous la
Dor involved in the manipula ton of
the rolling pin. All that terrible ex
penditure of energy in the downward
pressure Of the rolling pin is obviated
by the use Of this wringer and the re-
suits
''Sakes alivew calculated the poor
woman. II don't want the downward
pressure cultivated. It's the one chance
thing: leastways until night comes on
after the dishes is washed an things
put to rights an / set down In the
sittin' room an listen to my darter Mi
randy playin' on the melodjiOn. an
that's only two nights a week, what
with her gaddin' out to singin' skule
an her litery clubs night in an night
out
"Then, madam" said the agent.
playing his last card. "then surely you
must have Hicks patent adjustable
etcetera wringer, for. though ! have
not mentioned it before. we provide
each wringer with a music box attach
ment. which in response to the turning
of the crank handle plays six separate
and distinct popular tunes Of your own
selection from Carmen to Cohan. and
for the insignificant sum of 50 per
year extra we guarantee to provide
you by mail with one new record per
month containing two selections. one
on either side. chosen by yourself.
from our unparalleled lists Of the lat
est pop
But he never finished. A heavy ball
Of fresh bread dough, yielding, fioury
and mushy, temporarily put his face
out of commission. for. hard worked
dOwntrodden and slave to circum-
stance though the woman seemed. she
still had an aim in life. - Harpers
Weekly
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1912-07-19
Not Playing Golf.

| can't play golf. so have found. |
must keep sweet the year around Ny
disposition cannot go around in ninety
five or so and be that same refreshing
sprite it is when l am going right. 1t
cannot slice the ball and still attend
me blithely down the hill or dig an iron
in the ground and cheer me whittier
l am bound. Full many times have l
begun as CHEEKY as the morning sun
and ended playing in the funk of one
whose game Is very punk.
! can't play golf, though much love
the matter 1t Is fashioned of-the pleas
ant fields. the exercise. the innocent
and happy lies. the fragrance Of the
summer grass and the witty badinage
we pass. Ii l could play and never
fret the game would fascinate me yet,
but as 1t IS | am resigned to what pre-
serves my peace Of mind. Now, take a
putt-upon my word. it does seem ter
ribly absurd. but l have missed one
when a crack had made Of me a ma
MAC. l did not know that homicide
is ever wholly justified until my tenn
per. once serene. got out upon a put
ting green.
can't play golf. so have found. I
must keep sweet the year around. !
like the game. but one must ken his
finish STILL my merry men My peace
OF mind is more to me than lofting
over any tree. and having cheer and
bucking I'D discount medal ar q crn
quit Lay. on. We lucky folks who do
not manufacture jokes. but. be your hu-
NOR as it may, can live and prosper
anyway.-St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1912-07-19
Never Gets There.
History reserves no space ID
her pages for the man who mas
never failed.-DetrOit Free Press !
Old Girls and New.

Old Girls ard new.
Backward, turn backward. . llus
in your fight. and give US q maiss'
dressed proper and right. We are
weary of switches and rats ou,"
Burke clusters and peach basket EAU. ~
wads of excelsior heaped In =.
and stacked on their heads " -
height of a mile. Something IS wrOn'z
with the maidens. we fear. Glse =
the girls as they used to appear. ~
us the girlies we once knew u ~, -,
whose curls didn't come from . w. =,
dressing store: maidens VINO ui. !.
with sensible view andlJo'.c ~,
Dame Nature intended them TO- o "a
US girl with figure ner oSn .,.,,
fashioned divinely by nature ' s.s
Feminine styles getting fercer s s..'
year. Oh. give US the girls = r.,l
used to appear. = Wellington
News. =. ute
Give us a girl with round cneeI .',s
a rose; give us a girl with al ~ ..,s
nose; give US a grille on common N
heels, one with head thar u W. 7,
of wheels: one that can romp sn s,,s
paw Nd the dirt; one without ho'. !,
on mind or on skirt; one tlas I,
build a shortcake like dEssM
whose complexion STANDS W. az b,
steam: one who can fasteD ne' -. a
broom and laugh as she steep -. y
thing round the room; one ~
flattery ever can bulge anu m.bk
knows something besides
fudge.-HOustOn Post
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1912-07-19
THE SKINNER BOY
humpy Undertakes to Play the
Role of Nursemaid.
WITH DISASTROUS RESULTS.

Seeking to Earn an Honest 10 Cents,
He 10 Imprisoned on kidnapping
Charge and Gets Whipping When
He Reaches Homo.
BY M. QUAD.
copyright, 1912, by Associated Literary
Press.l
@TOTHING was further from
III Humpy SINNERS thoughts as
he started for school the other
morning than that he would
meet with trouble on the way. He left
the house singing, ooh. How l Love
My Teacher Dear!' and had gone four
blocks when he met a man who held
up his hand to stop him and ask:
boy. vhas you some responsible
boy"
Eyes, SIR" was the prompt reply.
my daughter down der street vhas
moving"
"Yes. sir"
"She have two loads of furniture,
und she WANTS some responsible boy
to wheel a baby carriage along"
That's easy" said Humpy.
ut vhas easy If you don't be a mon
key und climb trees und do sooch
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1912-07-19

SHE SHOWED HUMPY INTO THE CLOSET
things Dot carriage he Will have
some baby in it. He Will be asleep,
but dere must be no funny peesness."
I'm afraid III be late to school,
You neffer mind about school, If
your teacher knows you vhas wheeling
q baby to a new home she can't say
something's"
But the baby may wake up and
yell"
HE don't be dot kind. When he goes
to sleep it vhas for all day. und if you
stand him on his head he don't wake
oop. 1t vhas 10 cents If you vhas a re-
spOnsible boy. 1t takes you shust sew
en- minutes
Taking Charge Of Baby.
Humpy went along with him down
to the moving vans. AT the gate stood
baby carriage with baby about
year old in it and fast asleep.
1T vhas three blocks down and one
block to der right" instructed the man.
"All you have to do is to go careful
You Will see my daughter at der
gate''
All was plain as day to Humpy, and
he started off. The cost Of high living
would be considerably reduced by that
10 cents. All went well for a block.
and then he came to where a plumber
had dug ditch across the street and
piled up the dirt three feet high.
you'll have to 60 around" said the
digger and it was plain that that was
the case.
1t was in the going around that
Humpy came to saloon with three
loafers standing in front He kept his
eyes straight in front and was passing
with proper dignity when one Of the
fellows called out:
Hello. grandpa! Hold on minute.
Is that keg Of beer You are getting
away with so slyly?'
Its baby" was the reply.
Lets see about that. boys. This
affair looks suspicious"
And 1t must be Investigated" they
answered.
An III Timed Joke.
Cant you see what it is?' demand
ed Humpy as he halted and the men
gathered around him.
1T does look like a BABY was adj
mitted by one.
"But looks are deceiving." observed a
second.
If this is really a baby and not q
keg Of lager. how did you come by it?'
was asked Of Humpy.
"I'm taking it to a woman who is
moving"
"Um! Um! Too thin, grandpa You
had best own up at once and let the
Jury recommend you to the mercy of
the court. You walked into some house
and stole this baby!'
mo, sir. / didn't!''
Look at his eyes and you can see
that he's lying. It's stolen child. and
this boy Is a black handler. There's
another crime wave rolling over this
city. It's our duty to hold grandpa
for the police. but If he has the price
Of three beers about him we might
talk Of letting him CO."
AT that moment fire engine came
galloping past. and rs the three loafers
had their attention momentarily at
tracted Humpy made q sneak with the
baby. They yelled at him as soon as
he was missed. and in his fear he hus-
tied along for four blocks and was still
going when the baby awOke and began
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1912-07-19
Feu. There was an oln,..

b yell. There was an o,n,-,
sweeping s'S,s s of the walk in front s !,
gate and she thrust out her b-". q b
halted the cerriage and ero, o,0on W
.. "noo MS young man, but a..
1ast! Whose baby is this ~ not n
II don't know her nan
Humpy. replw
.oh, :: you don't' Didn't stoD ;.
quire alter you picked up the ch,, ~ u
"A Dutchman hired me to ,u,ldT
down on Ash street" "neel /
"Oh, no! Dutchman. oh, wv,
a little talk about this thing" We aaN
A kidnapping.
And she lifted the hahr
Garraage with one hand and ss,. Q.
Humpy by the collar with III. seized e,
and had both in the house ~ cue o'hs
onds. Then she said: u sec
"Therell be reward or
your arrest and the recovoru l9s
stolen kid, and I'm the wom., VI u
gong 10 get 1t. I'm not lettin, 'a na',
things slip past me-" ns god
ne wasn't stolen," replied Hr, 4
ot course you'd lie about It" Ap''
Il don't lie. l was wbeal,ns
his mother" uim
And who is his motherw
i dunno. 1t was a man who -,
me for 10 cents. He said no m. u''a
father" was be-
And he gave You his nama~
No, ma'am."
"oh' he didn't. Now, boy, you a..
lying and own right up! Soma a s.a
hlred you to do this thing and vs uas'
meet you ON the next corner w.u
you won't meet. Get right into ts,s
closet" '0 lnis-
For why?"
Because I'm going to hold vor -
der lock and key till nv bush. ~
comes home at noon. He'll b.,a a !.
truth out Of you or break your nac.a
why don't you call polIcem.,r
asked Humpy, knowing that the otR...
would investigate and find him ~
right. A III
And let the copper pocket the sm
reward! snorted the woman. @w.n
l guess not! My Jim and mo WON,
that Doodle to take us to the sea,bon
this summer. Don't look for snv A..
on US, sonny"
The Rescue Of Humpy.
She showed Humpy into thu co.o,
and locked the door on him and then,
put In her time soothing the howline
baby. At intervals Humpy begged Il
be let out, and at intervals she called
to him through the door that under n.
new law kidnapping was a life sentence
The hours Wore away until high noon
and then her husband came in.
What you doing with that kidg b.
asked as his eyes lighted on the baby.
"Stolen from home, and I've also rot
the boy that did it,
Humpy was brought out and qus.
toned, and in two minutes the man
turned to his wife and said:
you've made fool of yourself. The
police have sent out a general alarm,
but the old man Snyder. who Is The
kids grandpa. says he hired the boy,
and they think he forgot bis directions
I'll 60 with him to find the house"
"And there's no $500 in it,"
mo, not cents
II told her" put in Humpy.
Then take that for telling" answer
ed the woman as she administered
cuff on the ear.
The baby soon found its mother and \
Humpy his. Mrs. Skinner simply point7 (
ed over her shoulder toward the wood
shed. and Humpy went in and got As
licking and felt happier all the after
noon for it.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1912-07-19
Sol

So!
Myrtle. can you cookY ,np ~
mo. Lionel. Can YOU anoi'
an autO?"
mo. dear" ~, w.
So they did not marry az ,..so ~
happily ever afterward.-C
une.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1912-07-19
Ready to obliss.

At a reception in London , .
lady, king Marconi TOT a NJ
said, Il do wish you'd PA!
lovely 1ntermezzo. .,eses
with pleasure, madam - mas
Marconi. "but shall nave !" ~
on a wireless pianO."-bos'o'
script.
The Kennewick courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1905-1914, 1912-07-19

Tho Rewards Of Philosophy.
Goodwin Smith, the philoso-
pher, who died a few months
ago. left fortune of $1.OOO.OO0.
After this it may be easier to
get people to go in for philos-
ophy.-Chicago Record Herald.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1912-01-06
De MELLO IN
DOUBLE ROLE

HILO, January 2.--The boxing eX-
hfbition at the Hilo Athletic Club
last night was a disappointment The
preliminaries were poor, although
there were the markings of a good
scrap in the second. The possibilities
were spoiled, however, by the referee,
Willis, who was too busy playing the
clown to attend to his business.
The main event, slated to be a fif-
teen-round go between Ben de Mello
and Kimball, who was introduced as
the Railroad Champion" ended alb
ruptly in the first round The crowd
was greatly disappointed. though the
management could hardly be blamed
for the abbreviation of the program,
as there was every reason to believe
that Kimball would make a good fight.
After about two minutes. in which de
Mello did what little hitting there was
done, Kimball was foored by a quick
jab to the jaw, and took the count.
A number of the spectators thought
that Kimball was uninjured and was
taking. These insisted that the fight
continue. but luckily the management
declined to stand for such brutality,
which should have meant the finish
of prize fighting in Hilo
These who clamored for more were
given satisfaction when Bert KeeIen,
another railroad employee, gamely vol.
unteered to put on the gloves with
the redoubtable Ben. Keelen put up a
very creditable fight, as long as il
lasted, and plucllily stayed with the
game until the end of the third round
when he put up his hand after having
been smothered in a perfect whirlwind
of blows.
1 The management was as disappoint
ed at the outcome as was any one and
stated so frankly. The spectators did
however, thanks to Keelen, get fail
return for this money, and the only
really unfortunate feature of the even
was the exhibition of brutishness Civ
en- by some of the fans.