davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

The organist was not lacking In pat
riotism, yet he rebelled when re-
questetd to play The Star-Spangled
Banner" at a wedding.
1T is not appropriate said he
Amt it?" said the brides father
For this wedding 1t is the most ap-
propriate thing you can play. Cut all
the rest Of the program. If you like.
but stick to that had the hardest
kind Of fight 10 keep Bells mother
from marrying her on to foreigner.
Between Belle and me we won out for
an American and If this isn't the time
for the Star-Spangled Banner. I'd like
to know what is"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
HOW TO TELL A
GOOD DAIRY COW
Expert Of Ontario AxrfcuIturaI
College Puts Mech Stress
On the Babcoek
Tests.

Prof. Dean. in charge Of the dairy
department at the Ontario Agricul-
tural college, says good COW Is one
which gives 500 gallons Of milk year,
or $50 pounds Of butter in the same
length of time. He values cow-testing
highly, as It is the only means of tell
neither or not a COW viii pro-
duce this much during the year. He
writes:
"How are you to know a good COW?
You can tell by the notches in fits
backbone. You can tell by the length
Of her TAN whether she will milk for
a long time. The scales and Babcock
tests are the best tests. BY these you
weigh the milk once a month and
multiply the pounds Of milk given by
the test. After dividing by 100 and
adding one-sixth. you have the num-
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
Foiled.

The lovers whispered together be-
fore the doors of her fathers hangar.
planning the last details OF their
elopement.
Hurry, dearest" he urged. I'VE
will wheel out your runabout mono
plane and together we'll fly away on
the wings of the night. nevermore to
be separated"
Wait" she exclaimed. Il have
a better plan. We win run It out and
hide it in the old stable; then we will
walk to the trolley and papa will new
er suspect u.s."
They we're hardly half a mile on
their way down the road when, from
overhead. came the roar Of the triple
propellers OF the racing monopiane as
papa dashed out into the darkness in
hot pursuit.-Pnck.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

1t had been hard day at the polls
The addition Of nearly thousand
women's votes to the poll made the
counting a prolonged proposition.
well. James," said Mrs. Wallicky,
as her husband returned from his
arduous labors as teller. how did
the vote go?"
Nine hundred and two votes for
Bildad. seven hundred and fifty-three
for Slathers. eight recipes for tomato
ketchup. four wash lists and a milf
ner's BILL" said Wallicky. 1T was a
mighty interesting vote. Judge.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
HERE is REALLY GOOD IDEA
Fire Insurance Would BE an Easy Mat
ter 10 II Could Be Conducted
That Way.

Senator Williams at a dinner at
Yazoo, said In condemnation Of moot
ed tariff change.
They who advocate this change
know just as much about the tariff
as the old lady knew about fire In
surance.
This old lady visited an insurance
Office and insured her barn for $500.
The policy was drawn up. signed. seal
ed and handed over to her and she
put It in her cabba and started out.
but hold on. ma'am. said the
agent. must ask you. please. for
the first years premium
The first years premium said
she. And how much win that be7'
There 1t is. ma'am. written on
the policy said the agent. A small
matter of s24'
Oh said the old lady. I'm In q
hurry this morning. You just let the
premiums stand and deduct them when
the barn burns down."
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

Surely, IL We wanted plow we would
not go to the store or factory and buy
Syracuse beam, an Oliver chill mold
board. South Bend landslide and a
Mount Joy point. and go home on the
back porch, take a clawhammer and
monkey-wrench to make pillow OF
these parts. Well. 1t is just as alb
surd to think we can make the differ
ent breeds of cattle fit together and
do the desired work well. =
take II We do not expect to raise
beef cattle. or any others for that
matter, except for the profit they give
us in consuming the products Of our
own farm. converting them into beef
and establishing a new channel
through which to market these prod
ucts.
Then. II this is our desire, do as we
would IN purchasing piece of ma
chinery for any olher purpose-buy
the machine that was manufactured
for that particular purpose, and buy
the best The best is the one that will
do most satisfactorily the greatest
amount OF work and at the least cost
| am, great believer in beef cattle
when we can make them consume our
farm crops at market price and save
the trouble ~of hauling these away
Unless we can figure market prices
for our crops fed at home. then the
feeding or raising Of cattle becomes
burden and not profitable business
Yes. they should do more than this
l, They should make us a profit above
all cost Of feed, labor and incidents
which always enter into any business
proposition or venture.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
Human Yardstick.

"Cholly, but rs tired" exclaimed a
TAN and thin negro. meeting a short
and stout friend on Washington
street.
what you been dom to get tired7''
demanded the other.
We'll" explained the thin one.
drawing deep breath. "over to Broth
er Smiths dey are meamrin' de house
for some new carpets. Dey havenf
got no yawdstick. and rs just exactly
six feet tall. So to oblige Brother
Smith, rs been a-layin down and a
gettin' up all over DER house. =
Youths Companion.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
Force Of Momentum.

The old mountaineer. who was
standing on the corner OF the main
street in certain little Kentucky
town. had never seen an automobile.
When good-sfzed touring car came
rushing up the street at about 80
miles an hour. and slowed down just
enough to take the corner on two
wheels. his establishment was ex-
IRENE
The old fellow watched the disap-
pearing car with bullying eyes and
open mouth. Then turning TO by.
stander. he remarked. solemnly:
The horses must sholly ha' been
travelling some when they got loose
from that gentlemen's carriage,"-
Youths Companion.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
By W. @. CHRIsMAN.)

CBy w. @. CHRISMAN)
All cattle are divided into or fall
into certain classes according to the
work they do to best advantage. In
other words, the disposition they make
Of the feed they consume over and
above the amount needed for main
tenance determines this class.
When We take into consideration
that cattle are only machines for con
yerting hay. fodder and grains into
some product for human food, and
they are the only machines or fac
tories known that VIII convert those
materials into beef. milk. butter and
cheese. We get much clearer concep-
ton of the real meaning of beef cat.
tie. milk cattle or butter cattle.
BY beef cattle we mean those types
of cattle which will use their surplus
feed to best advantage in the manu-.
factrue of beef. OF this type we have
three prominent breeds: Shorthorn,
Hereford and Aberdeen Angus. While
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

Market gardeners who plant about
the same acreage every year fare bet
ter than those who vary the acreage
80 much from year to year. There IL
too much OF = tendency on many
farms to plant vegetable largely one
year and then reduce the acreage the
following year because prices were un-
satisfactory When the average price
Of any Of our important vegetables
such as tomatoes and cabbage. II TAX
en- for a series Of i've or ten years,
the profits, with good management.
should be very satisfactory.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
CARRYING ! suffrage Banner.

WAS your wife in the suffrage pa
rade? asked Morrowby. meeting Jel-
life on the street.
You bet she was!" said Jelliffe en-
Enthusiastically. Why, she Is the flag
bearer for her chapter!"
"Mercyl" cried Morrowby. "Do you
mean to tell me that little woman car
ried flag all that distance?"
sWell-no.'' said Jelliffe. My
chauffeur and took turns at it,
Judge.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
RECORD OF A
GREAT MEDICINE
Doctors Could Not Help Mira.
Templeton -Regained
Health through Lydia E.
Pinkham's Compound.

Hooper, Nebraska 81 am very glad
10 tell how Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound has helpedme. Forfive years
/ suffered from female troubles so I was
scarcely able to do my work. took doc
tors medicines and usedlocal treatments
but was not helped. ! had such awful
bearing down pains and my back was 50
weak / could hardly walk and could not
ride. Ioften had to situp nights to sleep
and my friends thought ! could not live
long. At my request my husband got
me bottle Of Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound and commenced to
take it. By the time had taken the
seventh bottle my health had returned
and / began doing my washing and was a
well woman. Atone time for three weeks
/ did all the work for eighteen boarders
with no signs of my old trouble return
ing. Many haye taken your medicine
after seeing what it did for me. would
not take $1,000 and be where ] was. You
have my permission to use my name il
it will aid anyone. Mrs SUSIE TEN
PLEToN, Hooper, Nebraska
ThePinkham record isa proud and peer
less one. 1t is a record of constant vic.
tory over the obstinate ills Of woman-ills
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

priggs called one evening tc
=. sweetheart, and her little
y TOM, was entertaining him
n. Young woman came down.
~ .m when your sister comes down
& ronifortably seated on the
- 9Th me, want you to tiptoe in
. q. and turn the gas down. low. win
Is too late" replied the boy.
..r sust told me to come in and
i out"-Judge.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

Before his wedding Pat confided to
his priest that he loved his girl so
much that he could eat her.
His marriage had been an eye
opener. and he was inclined to
grumble at his lot.
"But, Pat" said the priest, did ye
not say ye loved her enough to eat
herr"
Yes. yer riv'rince." answered Pat,
but the thrubble is ! didn't do It."
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
A Formal Figure.

!. ,s,egate doesn't get chance to
arch more than a perfunctory
big convention nowadays"
y. replied the prominent citizen;
4. associated with a successful
,.,.se he feels like an usher at a
,s,.r II he isn't he feels like an
.,,a-ary paIlbearer."
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

"0h. you win learn to forget me in
time" she said.
Il know shall" he replied. but
shall never forget the money have
spent trying to make you think me a
prince"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
Cream for churnIno.

The fat of all cream is not equally
hard at the same temperature. 1t Is
necessary that the cream at the time
Of churning should be at such tenn
perature as win produce flrm butter
In Is to IS minutes Of churninE
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
The Main Thing.

.xoold you die for me?" she muir
'e',sly. darling" he answered.
,,sa would there" she continued,
~ ne anything left for me after
'r,aertaker's bill was paid?"-The
s..zz'of's Casket.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

Mother-Johnny. you have been at
the top shelf again.
Johnnys--Yes mother. that's where
you always have the clerks pull things
down from.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

Mrs. Benham-Did you ever have
more money than you knew what to
do with?
Benham-I don't remember it. but
must have had. or wouldn't have
got married.-Capitola Capital.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
jolt to Romance.

"How about that young doctor' Has
he proposed?''
mot yet. Papa nearly ruined ev-
erything last night.
How was that?"
Just as the doctor was pleading
for a peep at my eyes. papa came in
and asked him to take look at my
tonsils."
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
what the Addition Of an asr Did.

What the Addition Of an IS" Did.
Please Do Not Pluck the Flowers
Without Leave" was the request
placed conspicuously In the garden
Of a residence to which the public 90
casionally Is admitted
One day practical joker added IS
to the last word Of the sign. The
result was that every body who visited
the estate for the next few days car
rled away large bouquet Of the
flowers, and with the blooms. lots Of
leaves.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
pandeIIon killer.

What is said to be sure dandelion
killer is to pour creosote through a
can upon the top Of the plant. This
will follow the root to its base. burn
ing 1t so that It WIN never grow again.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
In Chicago.

FNa-strangely enough. all Of her
.nbands have been named William
s,slla--Yes. she is a regular Bill
xnocioF
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

Lumbaro, Rheumatism and chIIbIsIns
There is nothing that gives so quick
benefit as Hunts Lightning Oil. The
very minute 1t Is rubbed ON the Inn
provement is noticed. For over thirty
years this Liniment has been acknowl-
edged to be the best for these troubles.
Every druggist win recommend It
Price Csc and soc PEI Bottle.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

Horan-Did yez notice about tn
joke Mike played on wan av thin
chauffeurs?
Doran-I heard turrible thing hap
pened to him. poor Mikel
Horan-Poor Mike. tn divvlei He
had shtick av dynamite in his
Pocket whin he wor run over
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

"a remove nicotine from the teeth,
,.5rleci the mouth and purify the
<.sath after smoking. Paxtine Is a
s.ou 10 all. At druggists. Csc box
4 s,nt postpaid on receipt Of price by
e Paxton Toilet Co.. Boston. Mass.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
FEEDING skim MIR.

Said a good farmer recently. Il like
to feed my skim milk as soon as It
comes from the separator. as / know
the calves and pigs like it that way"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
....artant tn Mothara
incredible.

-cbolly told me solemnly yesterday
a., he once had brainstorm-
pooh. pooh! I'd just as soon be-
s,.s that jelly fish could have, the
htkaekev
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
anne.

Mrs. Knicker-I'm afraid those hor-
rid men beat you at poker.
Knicker-No danger, my dear; they
eat from my hand.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
cant Afford II.

Hostess--Mr. Mann. you eat roast
b,si rare, do you not?
guest--Yes. rare and rarely.-Bos-
hn transcript.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

On the ocean Of life 1t is a case Of
til or swim with a large portion Of
he coating population.-Philadelphia
pale.in-
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

Ten smiles for nickel. Always buy Red
Cross Bali Blue; have beautiful clear white
clothes
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

II a man is easily bought the buyer
Is apt to be sold.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

Even the square man may make
his living In roundabout way.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

7,ne Is frequently money lost I'M
<.s you take advantage Of II.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

When lecture is free you are ex-
pected to buy book or a shaving
strop from the man who delivered It.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

B, happy. Use Red Cross Ball Blue;
rs,h better than liquid blue. Delights
ILs ksndress. All grocers-
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

that deal out despair.
1t is an established
fact that Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegeta-
Bile Compoundhas re-
storedhealth to thou
sands of such suffer-
ing women. Why
DOM you try tiff you
needsucha medicine7
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

ne florist says palms come in
tlaiy'
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

Waiter-How is the steak?
Restaurant Patron-It's as tough as
an only child.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
A N0NnEBFul nIsc0VERY.

k..>. 80 qf research and experiment. all nature
r. ~ nan science has indeed made giants
49, 49, ccntury, and among the-by no means
49,. ~. nt--discovefies In medicine II that Qf
&,'.f q tneh has been used with great success IN
Il pttals and that Il IL worthy the attention
~. - t1ore ls no doubt In fact II seems erident
T@r5I-I Aif ercated amongst specialists. thai
>1-< @-iyn y destined to cast Into oblivion al
~ ,-Ionaole remedies that were formerly the
<t.. 4. -<t q medical men Its OF course impos-
N ga w. tQueres all We should like TO tell them
nm !. ..cc article but those who would Ike %
1<-< about this remedy that has effected 50
.crIs - nkht almost say, miraculous curea
.|....< ~ NED. Co, Hayerstock Road Hampstead.
ta< F-... t and decide fQz themselves whether the
q n. TX temedy "ThERAptON" No. I. No. 2
MI[l1 ~ nat they require and have been seeking
~ .r< life Of misery, suffering. I'll health
hall A =. trees. TherapiOn n sold BY druggists or
foueera Co, % Beekman ST.. New fork.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

pikcs6 stYs7.eFs. -
ET2r<s 9z1 Hills a.
1Iez Etk1 cI9&1 -
l.1rocr<1l. co1fcEIeuI,
cheap Lssts sIl
sesasa, Hedc Of
metal. cauI<piIIortl ~
over will not soii a.
inture snyfhfn9.
0uarsrtcc1 elfesfiya
Sold ~ eeoIcr1 =
. sent pr1p1id for -
Ave. kr1sklyn, \. =
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30
The Tendency.

What's the matter with the
woman's club?
He-It's always hitting the men.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

Mrs. Benham-Did she wear pic
ture hat?
Benham-she wore roof garden.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

Don't count on your excuses before
they are Matched
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1912-08-30

AND BUILD UP THE SYSTEM
A.. lhe Old Standard GROVES TASTkl Kiss
rIiIi TONIC You know what you are taking.
"a ;ornnla Is plainly printed on every bottle,
.uT1z u Il simply Qulnine and Iron In tAsteiess
.',< so children, % cents.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1912-09-17
The Worlds Best and Latest Movino
Picture Plays at the GEM THEATRE
Entire Program Changed Every Day. y - - Adu,:..:--

names of them before. These men
have supported those who have con.
trolled our government in the last
fifteen years and they are supporting
them still. And I, for my part do
not entertain any hope of the gov.
eminent of the United States being
freed from the control of trusts
and the control of bosses who are
the agents Of trusts, through the in.
strumentality of the adoption of tbe
trusts into the care of the govern.
ment itself"
The Governor was well recaivod
throughout the day. He shook hands
with people who flocked to the rear
platform and waved greetings to those
not SO near. The nominee reached
chicago only seven minutes late and
left at 6:O5 o'clock for Sioux civ
Ia, and Sioux Falls, S. D.. where
speeches are scheduled for TODAY
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1912-09-17
BATTLE OF so YEARS AGO.

Sharpsburg, Md, Sept. 17.-Num-
erous flags and wreaths were placed
this morning about the monuments
and markers that dot the field where
thousands of soldiers of the blue and
the gray fought and fell fifty years
ago today in the battle of Antietum
The battle was one of the most ter
rible of the Civil War. The Union
forces were in command of General
Mcclellan and the Confederates were
led by General Lee, who had been
Joined the previous day by stone
wall" Jackson. About 100000 men
were engaged, and the. conflict ragged
with great fury from daylight until
dark. The Federals were repeatedly
repulsed, but at night both armies
held the same positions as in the
morning. In the eleven hours fight
ng 10000 of the Northern army and
10000 of the Confederate army fell,
n addition to many thousands who
lied after the battle.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1912-09-17

"Pansy," the story of a bear. A. bear
and a moving picture camera at
summer resort furnish one thousand
feet Of reel" laughs at the Lomo to-
day. 1t is an original and delight
full comedy full of amusing situations.
"A Stern Destiny" is Pathe Ameri.
can drama, showing the effect of
poorly chosen associates. "Pa Trumb-
alls Troubles" some troubles, take
our word for it. He gets his in try
ing to stop his daughter from clipping.
He gets pair of black eyes and other
things too numerous to mention. Don't
fail to see the Pathe Weekly Of cur
rent events next Friday. Swimming
races, diving contests and the New
York City Labor Day parade, is larg-
er than ever. Boston, Mass. A fea-
ture of the gathering of the associat-
ed Scottish Clans is the Highland
Fling and the Sword dance competi-
ton. Also many events of political
interest.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1912-09-17

pionship pennant, counting the
flag already in sight of Nc.
Aleer's team of Red Sox, for
every twenty-five years of her
career. This calculation by an enthu-
siastic baseball fan, and the hosting
of flag on the city hall, marked
the only observance of Boston's 1S2nd
birthday anniversary today.
While it was in July, 1880, that the
colonists brought by John Winthrop
to Salem established themselves at
Charlestown, it was not until Sep
TENDER 18th of that year when
the greater part of Winthrop's COM
pany moved to Trimontine. Then
the place was renamed Boston, after
the Lincolnshire town from which
many of the colonists had come.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1912-09-17
IS YOUR CHILD'S
TONGUE COATED?
" Cross, Feverish, Bilious, Stomach
Sour, Give "syrus Of Figs" To
Clean Its Little cIogged-
up Stomach.

Mother. Don't scold your cross.
peevish child! Look at the tongue,
See IL it is white, yellow and coated,
II your child is listless, dropping.
isn't sleeping well, is restless, doesn't
eat heartily or is cross, irritable. out
OF sorts with everybody, stomach sour,
feverish, breath bad; has stomach
ache, diarrhoea. sore throat, or is full
of cold, 1t means the little ones stom.
ach. liver and 80 feet of bowels are
filled with poisons and foul. consti.
pated waste matter and need a gentle.
thorough cleansing at once.
Give teaspoonful of Syrup of FIGS
and In a few hours all the clogged-up
waste. undigested food and sour bile
will gently move on and out of its little
waste clogged bowels without nausea,
gripping or weakness, and you will
surely have a well. happy and smiling
child again shortly.
With Syrup of Figs you are not drug
ging your children, being composed
entire'y of luscious figs, SIENNA and
aromatic it cannot be harmful, besides
they dearly love it's delicious taste.
Mothers should always keep Syrup
OF Figs handy 1t is the only stomach.
liver and bowel cleanser and regula.
tor needed little given today will
save sick child tomorrow
Fun directions for children of all
ages and for grown-ups plainly printed
on the package.
Ask your druggist for the full name. |
Syrup Of Figs and Elixir of SIENNA"
prepared by the California Fig Syrup
Co. This is the delicious tasting, gem
uine old reliable. Refuse anything
else offered