The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-12-22
Gas Man and a Goose

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pardoned for adding an humble plea
beside. The gas man and a goose are
two widely differing subjects, but one
il moved 10 express opinions Of them
both under sAe head OF nuisances.
The former is very astute and know
ing person. and the other can oniy
remember the "Michaclmas before last
and the Michaelmas before that. and
All the rest is saga
Nearly everybody that you meet on
the street casts imploring eyes %
heaven and makes sympathetir inquir-
les as to the size of yonr gas biH.
Mine" Says a woman 1 met the other
day. rs once and a half as big as
amy neighbors'. and they cook win
theirs aud keep the house brightly
lighted all the time"
And that is Just the whole thing in
- nutshell You call I'D the main
Office and the man will sympathize
with you and Tell you how sorry he -
that he can't change II, but that Is
the end OF IL. A man. with his eyes
sadly crossed from years Of looking
around rubber shoes and such accumu-
lsfiOns in the little closets under the
stairs where your meter lives. arrives
Al your front door. He strikes a match
and writes in q book and lac might a.
well have inscribed the Greek alpha e
pct for all you know what ne
- about. You say gently 1
am sure that our hill Will "e much
less this month We have scarcely
burned any gas al all" He gazes back
At you with surprise all over his iac"
that you should even dare to wonder
n gas bin might not be less. and
zrowls out that II is an amount by
TWO dollars larger than the last.
You tear your hair and your fanilys
hair and throw al the false hair u
hand ia the fire with the rage that
consumes your soul The cross-eyed
man will tell you with tears on MS
checks that he IS sorry- Perhaps your
meter leaks That IL the end or II a
patient friend comes and tries 70 teach
YOU 10 read the meter so that you
viii keep AN account Of the gas T0-r-
self hut the patient friend Is worn
10 frazzle. ard Won have not yet
zrsspcd the fearful intricacies OF the
system BY which our city * lighted
and for witch We lay down our pretty
pennies. Your head aches from sryine
10 stand on IL and read what seems
pnrposeIy written an the language OF
.amcse- ". and you begin 10 think II
you had that 10 90 through with a.
every door that you would make the
bill TOO Tg too.
There seems TO he nothing in the
world to DO about it but burn cannes
and tacn when YOU don't burn one /,
Is SIM there or the shelf and YOU don't
49,, tha SOU agony % having said
thar YOU cat N twilight. dress in the
dark and entertain your friends In
the shadows Yes. I believe tnat 70
barn candles is the only way out OF
Tho wretched old lighting problem
- ,Iapf does not seemingly recoE-
nize economies
Now about the goose. lie lives
soroo,~her. in town here. and whether
nc is chained by one leg or beset BY
dogs. [ know not bat he ga-gas all
through the watches OF the night, AMI
no cs.ekles away at such rate that
,ou are sure he had All ancestor that
saved Rome Certainly in the recesses
|of that wee brain inside his tiny head
mus, be an impression that he Is no"
sacred and that the city approaches
ave depending upon his speech, else
WHY should he rend the night?
The good people that lived about
this MIC. old Ga-Ga said to themselves
that he would Adorn the board on
that soon his cackllngs
would have ceased. and they encure'-
Hut ne wasn't eaten Thanksgiving,
land q great fear has come 70 hNe Ut
The hearts IF those who listen nigh,g
TO mis- song; maybe h. isn't lntenoeu
Tor Christmas either.
xasr,an and a goose rather dis
similar animals. are they not- Inc
~ood Ca-Ga must save Rome and
hence his song oft through the stliN
night. and the gasman. like the poo,
o., ou- pincushion. DO you believe
that the day Is ever coming when
peishborhood nuissnces are a thing
OF the past, and the gas 0iil-weh
when you buy a yard OF blue ribbon.
Won generally ike TO have yard OF
blue ribbon, don't you?
Dainty NeeiiEees-
Among the costume cOnceits OF the
season are TO be noted the accordion
pleated neg1lgees, which are made o.
ch;ffon net. both plain and enbroid-
|ered. and liberty silk and satin These
becoming garments are designed In
erea; variety OF styles. bit there j.
none more fetching for the woman OF
|.iender figure and some height than
line empire gown OF plested Chiffon
md satin 10 40 over it The coat for
L. pale pink gown OF this sort - more
nan half Of yellow lace II Is very
much getaway garment. with fron
f-ou Of lace cascades in front and
|Iong tailed back that is all lace and
shirrings. and frills also. The sleeves
are draped Iact fiounces. and tier" =
a wide zirdIe OF pink satin roebor.
" hich has q huge satin buckle in the
back.
Tho Fashion for Platinum
Platinum holds undispuied sway II
ihe world OF jcwelry- Gold AMI silver
make but little appeal 20 tine ultra
fashionable woman. There ar many
reasons fo- tais passion for platinum
It, HEhtness its adspta5ility TO designs
r. exquisite deIicacy. y 7aderfui effects
ike SiIxcred frost on a window pane.
and the fact thst u il a better back
ground Cor precious stones than either
rold or silver. have all contributed 60
IFS extraordinary popularity jewels
nowadays d. not weigh quarter OF
hat fhey used 70 do. but they cost a
great deal more.
There IS no doubt that the average
fashionable woman spends much more
r feUeiry than she used TO dc. and