Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-05-09
no farm work to do.

Inner Jones says there is some Worn-
en- ne a run across that he certainly
he kin see through any of 'em he is a
dandy.
Miss Euphremia Perkins, our poet
ess of passion, says the trouble is when
she sits down n tries to write she
can think of nothing. Well. most OF
the magazine short stories Just now
are Written on thai same subject.
There is q lot of charm in femininity
around the house unless perhaps a fell
Ter has got five or six unmarried
daughters. in which case the novelty OF
the thing kind of Years off.
1t amt any more d~isgraceful to wear
a pair of pants that is patched than it
is TO Wear a pair that amt paid fer.
Rev. Mr.. Hudnutt says the law of
compensation is that can't be vio-
lated by Il human bein'. Hank Tumms
has owed us for five bushels of oats
pected that Hank wasn't exactly hu-
| man.
MOVING.
OF course YOU must move. 1t is
against the rules to stay more than
a year in one house NOWADAYS. ever
ii it is a perfectly good house and in a
splendid neighbOrhoOd. The whole fam,
NY goes out house hunting collective-
ly and individually.
Your wife wants a colonial house
with pillars in front. your daughter
wants n of those new tangled bunga,
lows. and your motherinlaw wants one
OF those Ole fashioned ones with about
IA gables in tho roof and a tower in
one corner. You talk about the house
before breakfast and supper and the
various members of Your family tele-
phone you abou the house at odd
times during the day. Renting agency
men men hold a convention in your office
and ioa o down With about Is
pounds of door keys which you lug
around for about three weeks while
your family is making up its mind.
Finally you find a house that is q
sort of combination of all the houses
favored. put 1T Is in a Door n%eighbor-
MOOD. When you get in you find that
me wall paper is not right in any room,
the Kitchen pump won't work, tho
plumbing is out OF order. the back
stairs are too steep, the kitchen roof
leaks. the man next door owns a pho
hograph and triplets that cry all night,
and the house has a black eye because
the last family that lived there didn't
pay bills. This is liable to occur, no
matter what house you choose. When
you get the house fixed up at your own
expense 1t Is time to move again.
AS IT APPEARS.
When l grow up I'm goin' to be
An actor Teller, yes stree.
He's got the SofteSt snap | know
And certainly he gets the dough,
He always wears a nice dress suit
And fine plug hat and gloves to boot.
He lives In houses that are grand.
And all he has to do is stand,
around and speak his little piece,
winch seems to flow as slick as grease.
Or else he sits upon gilt chairs.
Which are around most everywhere.
He's always kissin' some nice gal
That he has managed to corral.
Don't make no difference 'hort the
crowd;
He kisses her and right out loud.
He's always got some nice green cash
Ina ne a haul right out and fash.
He Keeps the heroine from harm.
The folks all say that he's the stuff,
And though it may be just a bluff
He is a hero grand. all right.
For Two or three u every night.
THE POPULAR IDOL.
Bill is shy On education and his WAYS
are somewhat crude.
He affects q rubber collar and can't
be called a dude.
But he never muffs a grounder. as n
hero he is viewed.
Table are cratic and he eats
peas with his knife.
Couldn't read a word of Latin if ii were
to saw his life.
But he always hits 800. He's tho idol
in his strife.
Bill a neither waltz nor two-step and
is shy on etiquet.
In a dress suit he's the limit. saddest
guy you ever met.
But he CAN pound u three-baggers
n he is the one best bet.
THINGS THAT MAKE LIFE WORTH
LIVING.
Admitting a pretty woman's back and
finding out that h is your wife with
her hair lone up a new way.
Receiving a tall, dignifed clerical
looking gentleman whom you take for
a minister, n inviting him in the
house politely only to have him hand
you a bill from the coal company.
Sitting beside a man in the theate,
who saw h play with the original
company.
Getting a bunch of No. IA collar,
from the laundry when you wear us
n when you have to have one fol
the party that evening.
AVOID THESE.
Woman who volunteers to entertain th,
company with a song or two.
who wear bangs.
Red flannel underwear.
Cheap hammocks.
Seventeen dollar automobiles.
Cafe quartets.
Alfred Austin's poetry.
Mail order store teeth.
Spindle legged golden chairs.