davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
The Better Part.

A certain woman went down from
Jerusalem to Jericho, and it CHANGED
that her gown was not fully buttoned
up in the back Now, a priest and a
Levite, meeting the woman and per-
ceiving her plight, passed by on the
other side, without saying a word. But
a certain Samaritan, journeyed that
way, was touched with compassion.
Madam" quoth he, your ha-
hub"
"Sir?" the woman thereupon ex-
claimed and gave him a look which
froze him on the spot.
When it appears that discretion is
the better part of valor.-Puck.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
No Claim for Reciprocation,

Jack Reeves tells this on Felix Nc
earthly, who used to drive a night
hack before he retired to the presi-
dency of a refectory, where the goods
are sold from the wood:
81 didn't see you at Murphy's fu-
neral" said an acquaintance to Nc
Carthy. Whats the reason you didn't
go?"
"Why should II" returned Nc
Carthy, somewhat touchily. Sure,
Murphy niver attended my funeral
New York Telegraph.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

Eggs took another tumble from AZ
vile,
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
Simply

A Gilman man, it is related, has a
very red nose, and recently a very in
Guisltive person said to him: please
don't take o~ffense, but I'm curious to
know why your nose is always red ?"
And this is the reply the inquisitive
got: MY S is merely blushing
with pride over the fact that it has
never butted into any ones business"
Fort Smith Times-Record.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

Miss Olivia Bramall has been ap-
pointed a teacher in the grammar
school at B%ridgeboIo.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
Woman,s a

"a woman's convention, Ell? What
do women know about enthusiasm?
Now. at the last national convention
we men cheered our candidates for
an hour"
That's all right" said his wife.
we threw kisses at ours for sixty
sever minutes by the clock"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
LOST IS POUNDS.
Made Well by Curing the Weakened
Kidneys.

Adelbert E. Perkins, No. 50 Mechanic
Street, Danielson, Conn, says: "The pain
and weakness in my back was simply az
~onizing. | often thought l would break
in two. Then l began to pass gravel, and
only those who have had this trouble can
understand what. l went through. Every
time [ passed a stone, it would tear its way
through my kidneys until | thought I
would die. For three years my kidneys
were so tender 1 could not lie down with.
out a pillow being placed beneath my
back. Coupled with what 1 have told YOU,
| had terrible headaches and dizzy spells
which almost drove me crazy. ! ran down
in weight until | was only a shadow Of my
former self. having lost over thirty-fveI
pounds. Sick, weak, and discouraged. z
resolved to give Doan's Kidney Pills ~
trial. l improved from the first and 3i
the end of seven weeks, | was cured-cuf
to stay cured, which is proven by
being free from the disease for "A
three years"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

When you feel a cold coming on,
take Father Johns Medicine at once.
1t has a history of fifty years of sue
cess in the treatment of colds.
If you have had a cold and it still
hangs on" take Father Johns Medi-
cine without delay. Long-standing
colds lead to serious throat and lung
troubles. Father Johns Medicine gives
prompt and complete relief.
If you have a cough or throat trou-
BILE. if your lungs are affected, take
Father Johns Medicine at once. The
soothing, healing elements of which it
is composed allay the irritation and
restore normal health.
Ii you are run down and in need of
a tonic, you can find no better food
medicine and body builder than Father
Johns Medicine, because the elements
Of which it is composed are pure and
wholesome nourishment.
Because it is free from alcohol or
dangerous drugs in any form, Father
Johns Medicine is a safe medicine to
take at all times. It is the family rem
edy in countless homes. Get a bottle
today.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
Suspicious.

When the four-and-twenty black
birds which had been baked in the pie
began, Immediately the latter was
opened, to sing, the king grew sus-
picious.
"How," demanded his majesty,
were you so remarkably preserved"
The blackbirds, yisibly disconnected
offered no reply.
WAS it by the use Of benzoate of
soda?" Numbered the king, thorough
ly aroused.-Puck.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
Was TESTING the Rahu.

Little Phil Warmer, of Addison
road, was detected in the act of pull
ing out the baby's hair despite her
frantic protest.
81 just wanted to see," he said in
explanation, whether she was cold
storage baby. Teacher told US that's
the way you car tell a chicken. If the
feathers come out easily the chicken
has been in cold storage"
Needless to say, Phil is doing pen
ance.-New York Times.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
When Your Eyes Need Care

Try Murine Eye Remedy. No Smarting-Feels
Fine-Acts Quickly. Try it for Red, Weak,
Watery Eyes and Granulated Eyelids. Illus
trated Book in each Package. Murine is
compounded by our Oculists-not a "Patent Med
icine"-bu but used in successful. Physicians Prac-
tice for many years. Now dedicated to the Pub
lie and sold by Druggists at 25c and Soc per Bottle.
Murine Eye Salve in Aseptic Tubes, sc and SOC.
Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

Nearly ESQ., 600, 900 gallons of water
were used by the residents of Salem
last year., according to the report of
Chief Engineer Ryan.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
Reconnoitered,

Mamma was dressing when seven
year-old Freddy burst into the room
with a loud "Boo!"
why, Freddy, DEAR" expostulated
she, you mustn't open my door with
out knocking. l mightn't have been
dressed at all"
ooh, this was all right" said Fred
dy, 81 looked through the keyhole
first."-Judge.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
Man Rescued by Human Chain.

Chicago.-Roy Harris was rescued
from drowning in the Chicago river
by William Burton. a bridge tender,
and Policeman Patrick Lyons, who
formed a human chain and pulled him
out of the icy water as he was sinking
for the third time.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
IN ALL PARTS
OF new JERSEY
reIegraphed Localities Cover
ing the Entire State.
FARMERS PUSHING WORK
Cuttings From Late Dispatches That
Epitomize the News of the Stats
for a Week-Fishermen Report
Good Luck at Coast Resorts.

Energetic action by the authorities
has overcome the diphtheria epidemic
at Delanco.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
important to Mothers
Contrary Human Nature.

People seem to find it easier to be
kind than to be genuinely ap~preciative
of a kindness done them.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
Birds Attack a Man.

Bloomfield, N! frank Book was
attacked by a flock of blackbirds in a
vacant lot at Broad street and Bloom
field venue He sustained painful in
jvries of the neck, face and hands.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

You will sneeze; perhaps feel chilly.
You think you are catching cold. Don't
wait until you know it. Take a dose of
Hamlins Wizard Oil and you just can't
catch cold.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
Cabbage PUDDING.

Chop fine a small white cabbage
and put enough into a large. deep
baking pan to fill it up when the cab
bage is done. Put it into a pint of
sailed, boiling water and boil until
tender. Drain thoroughly in a coland.
er. Into two parts of the cabbage put
two-thirds of a cup of butter, with salt
and pepper to suit the taste; a pint of
cream. four eggs beaten separately.
nd a pinch of cayenne pepper. Put
mixture In a pan and bake for
an hour.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

%ziness, b~loating and other results of kidney
disease.
The following case is typical of the cures
effected by Doan's Kidney Pills. Grateful
testimony is the best evidence.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

O@bA&~ AA~GN--
MI. Henpeck-Do you pull teeth
without pain?
Dentist-Oh! yes, sir.
MI. Henpeck-Then you won't do.
My mother-in-law wants to get seven
extracted, SO I'll have to take her
elsewhere.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

Over 500 pupils are attending the
Paulsboro public school, the largest
number ever enrolled.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

A silly man is easily convinced that
he possesses more wisdom in one day
than the late Mr.. Solomon did in all
his years.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
+

I want every person
who is bilious, consti-
pated or has any stom-
ach or liver ailment to
send for a free package
of my Paw-Paw Pills.
/ want to prove that
they positively cure In
digestion, Sour Stom-
ach, Belching, Wind,
Nervous
ness, Sleeplessness and
are an infallible cure
for Consultation To do
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

When truth gets busy, fiction is apt
to feel ashamed of itself.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

If a woman still has faith in her
husband after reading what the oppo-
sition says of him when running for
office, her loyalty is the real thing.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

wASTED-Agents everywhere for best seller; every
laborer wants it,; repeat sales large: money doubled;
workers only need apply; particulars and samples
postpaid 2c. International Sales Co., B~lnghsmton, n. L.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

HoxsIe's Group Remedy is a cer.oin cure and
preventive of Colds, Coughs and Croup. No opium
mo nausea. Sold by Druggists. 50 cents.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

Nothing pleases some people more
than the opportunity to spread bad
news about their neighbors.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

ONLY ONE "BROMO OUININE."
That is BROMO QUININE, Look for
the signature of L. W. GROVE. Used the World
over to Cure a Cold in One Day. Csc.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

Mrs. Wfnslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
t~eething, softens the gums, reduces inhamma-
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie, Csc a bottle.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
r r { G 6 5R!7E)
I Diamond Ring, | Gold Watch, 2O-Yr(.
5 Gold LO(kets, 5 Fancy Gold Stick Pins.

Draw two straight lines across the dial or
face of watch dividing 1t into three parts
each part to contain numbers adding up 90.
For the neatest correct answer we will
give the Diamond Ring.
For the next neatest correct answer we
will give the Gold Watch.
For the next five neatest correct answers
we will give each a Gold Locket.
For the next five neatest correct answers
we will give each a Gold Stick Pin.
For the next twenty-five neatest correct
answers we will give a credit check for
$4,000 which can be used in the purchase of
Real Estate.
Each person sending In IN answer to this
puzzle will be sent a beautiful birds-eye-vieu
of Jacksonville. Fla. FREE.
Don't fail to try and win one OF these val
liable Prizes. All answers uust be in our
| hands not later than January &th 1912 and
the decisions of the Judges IN awarding the
prizes must be accepted by the contestants
as final.
Remember this contest is FREE. We
make this liberal offer to advertise Beautiful
Grand Boulevard. J~acksonyille's close-in
building addition.
Write name and address plainly and
NAIL to
| Grand Boulevard Investment Co.
N2O2-2O4 Bisbee Bldg. JACKSONVILLE. FLAH
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

Some women never take anything
seriously, not eve their husbands,
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

Sweet potatoes sold from 80 cents
the highest price in years.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

Force a man to eat his own words
and he will soon lose his appetite.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

this I am willing to give millions of free pack
ages. 1 take all the risk. Sold ~ druggists
for % cents a vial. For free packag address,
Prof.. Munyon. 5crd B Jefferson SITS. Phllad, H. hla, Pa.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

PILES CURED IN 6 TO IA DAYS
Your druggist will refund money if PAZO n
fails to cure any case of Itching, Blind,
Bleeding or Protruding Piles in 6 TO IA days. SOC.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
Misleading Sneezes.

How did you come on with your
study of the Russian language?"
Not we'll. While l was trying to
pronounce a few words our family
physician came along and forced me
to take all kinds of medicine to break
up a cold"
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
Difficult.

1t is difficult for Nine. de Stael ito
grow old gracefully" 1t is more diff.
cult to grow old ~cheerfully.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

If you would be a leader you must
set the pace.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

One way to discount a woman's ar
gument is to agree with her
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

At Bridgeton, Judge fuller in the
Cumberland County Courts sentenced
those who had pleaded guilty. Harvey
Petit, three times indicted for break
ing and entering, vas sent to State
Prison for a maximum term of four
to eight years.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

If you can't marry the one you love.
try to love the one you marry.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

register her,
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

The theory that misery loves com
pany accounts for some marriages.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12

A few weeks of matrimonial train
ing will enable a man to predict brain
storms in advance.
The Penn's Grove record., 1912-01-12
Guarding the Money

Guarding the Money.
Why was he guarded by the po-
lice?"
"They were afraid somebody else
would get his money"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11
Alter24pHaR&s AZ
VIII CN4lIA Grey ~>ATA

Miss 1 think "Bismarck H. and bachelor
quite their opinions Take marriages of
today wohirds DIVORCE the remaining onethrd
end In separation Look who come for advice children
old bachelors
travelling the hsppiest people
What majority OF girls Powder,
paint false hair. III them in their homes
wouldn't recognize the girl the evening
They nothing than living deceits,
and good for either wife mother three cheers for
Bachelor bismarck H." MERRY MAID
AWell Merry Maid, of the people who to me
Gould asking the
a
a believer habit would rather
lady redden cheeks than backen the
yomankind general
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11

The average weight of a
woman five feet five inches is
lao lbs.
Edna Wallace Hopper was
born In San Francisco in 1874.
Her real name is Mrs. o. A.
Brown.
On May 10, 1907, the first
English settlement was made in
America at Jamestown.
The soft plate prevents the
food from entering the nasal
cavity. When paralyzed there is
a nasal twang.
Combing the hair back from
the forehead. and applying a
brilliantine will help to train II
into a pompadour.
The absence of boards on the
faces Of men of some races is
due to the absence of the fila
ment in the skin. Boards are
common to the northern races.
Probably in the beginning they
were natures protection against
cold.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11
SIS y

The Ladies' Aid society of
Central M. E. church will meet
at the home of Mrs. Lewis john
son, 1891 So. X st. next Wednes-
day afternoon.
The annual session of the Ore
gon conference of the Evangeli-
cal associations is now convened
in their church at the corner of
18th and X.
Invitations are being issued
for the wedding of Antoinette
HUH and William G. H. Mahncke,
which will take place June 5th.
Mrs. w. Frank Andrews will be
host SIS for the regular program
of the Arequipa club, Monday.
Mrs. Harry Witten and Mrs. r.
o. Kepner, entertained the Au-
rora club at luncheon Thursday
afternoon.
The Tacoma Council of Women
NOIclo Will hCSI iuSoudy, mhy
IA.
The student of Annie Wright
seminary held their annual field
events and May day celebration
today.
Tahoma lodge $50, X. of p,
will give a dance at Pallies hall,
Tuesday evening, May IA.
The Presidents Council of
Women's Organizations, will meet
In st. Luke's parish house, Thurs
day, May 16.
The Women's Guild of the
Church Of Holy Communion, en-
tertained at dinner last Wednes-
day evening.
A recital will be given i'm the
Temple of Music Wednesday even
ing by Mrs. Cameron and some
of her pupils.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11
To uBISMARCK liz

Who IL kissed me when fell?-Ny mother.
Taught lfe's principles well?-My mother.
That mind and body must be always wen?-My mother
Who taught how make a kite?-My sister.
Helped get my lessons right?-My sister
Who was 1t loved me all these years?-My wife.
In spite of faults, bad luck and fears?-My wife,
Helped dress both noon night?-My sister.
And who through lfes fight always near?-My wife,
Who is it hugs lovingly around knee?-My daughter
Whose future now hold the keys?-My daughter.
o, God make capable, please-She is my daughter.
l.. A. r..
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11

Since the majority of the "Nobodys Widow" pf
birth
bent stories at the of the
The successful with Caedonan
noted thrift
has been a matter of
The story that the Scotchman shop
planning the loss of hair ccasioned
druggist who quite
warranted to produce fine growth of hsue uxuriane
"whatI he price?" asked he Scot
Two dollars chirruped
"Hoots that's fearful
worth it. You gle
he and
back and buy bottle
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11
Tagged Train With Shirt

Tearing his shirt from his back
an Ohio man tagged a train and
saved 1t from wreck, but II. T..
Aston, Raleigh, N. c., once pre-
vented a wreck with Electric Bit
ters. Il was in a terrible plight
when l began to use them," he
writes, my stomach, head, back
and kidneys were all badly af-
fected and my liver was in bad
condition, but four bottles of
Electric Bitters made me feel like
a new man." A trial will con-
vince you Of their matchless mer-
1t for any stomach, liver or kid
ney trouble. Price so cents at
Ryner Malstrom Drug Co., 938
Pacific av.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11
AGREES WITH "BIsMARCK III.

Miss Grey: N my opinion
in his opinion The
the standard old Mothers Generally
gddy frivolous unreliable. highest ambition
is $50 Outlandish a Uranium. She
delights in going questionable dances, teaters and
mingng with questionable people, She overly fond of the
shallow of the world BY her wes bandh
mens she sometimes succeeds sharing good the
kno once tied she proceeds to and torture her victim for the
rest OF his days. When he his rights
heads for the divorce court and exhibits herself msryrke
ptiable example of mans inhumanie
Freed she waits for the next victim with cruelty Of the
spider When the fly caught
atroous She believes In galzed pOlygamy but
the wholesome laws of God
children. they incumbranoe Her nfnitesimal
convinces
She fears might miss
jority Good admire The
kind hold in contempt. EXPERIENCE
Alike attracts like and sorry your experience
brought what it Experience
some of the
fathers and also that pessismisc
we still building school houses
TO SET TABLE CORRECTLY.
Dear Miss Grey: Would kindly advise where could
find directions table q
girl advertisement
'Ni ANXIOUS
AT library cooking house
hold that will give information
librarian will direct them.
1t risky for girl advertisements
housekeeper single wdowers
should be demanded the accepting
position.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11
i uNclE\5AnoA
lCAEESE BOOK M
MACARONI AND CHEESE
No

NO. 4.
One cupful of macaroni, broken
into small pieces, 2 quarts of
boiling sailed water, 1 cupful of
milk, tablespoonfuls of flour,
II to NJ pound of cheese, N
teaspoonful of salt, speck of cay
enne pepper.
Cook the macaroni in the boil
ing sailed water, drain In a
strainer, and pour cold water
over it to prevent the pieces
from adhering to each other.
Make a sauce out of the flour,
milk and cheese (see first Uncle
Sam cheese recipe printed in the
Times.) Put the sauce and mac
aroni in alternate layers in a
buttered baking dish, cover
with buttered crumbs and heat in
oven until crumbs are brown.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11

To hold an endorser liable, the
holder Of promissory note must,
upon its non-payment at maturity,
give prompt notice of such nom
payment to the endorser, and
that the holder looks to the en-
dorser for payment. Such notice
must be sent within twenty-four
hours
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11
TO SET A TABLE CORRECTLY.
TELL.

Dear Miss Grey You given girls adv
and want do the by I a young mother
Fl and have children My husband parted
they with him. Now keeping with a nice
young and he loves
L a single girl If o
it, would Grey you
all let it 1t is? BLONDY.
AYou certainly should tell him;
simply
doing the mans attentions
loved husband married
ypassin is love-.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11
A Delicate Point!

Dear Miss Grey: L am a
young fellow who has been
trying to quit smoking cigar
ettes,. but could not seem to
make Ii stick. So making q
proposition with a fellow that
works with me, that the first
one caught smoking would
have to buy the other a hat.
Yesterday I made a cigarette
and smoked 1t outside the
house. Before coming In I
took a puff, and ON coming in
i met said man at the door.
He says he saw smoke COM
ing out of my nose and mouth
and afterwards saw tobacco
on my lips. Now, I didn't
have a cigarette in my mouth.
Did he really catch me smok-
ing. w. s. q +. Y.
A.--No man of honor woul
wade the issue, as the catch" 1
he agreement really meant
discover that you smoked"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-05-11
A Point in Etiquette.

A u OAAt lh 1httsl uCtDos
Dear Miss Grey: L am
very thankful for the vaIu-
able information 1 have re-
ceiyed from your column,
and have problem. 1
visited some people I'm Ta-
coma last summer and they
asked me to come stay with
them and GO TO school this
year, but they have never
mentioned IL since came
home. In the last letter
they asked me to come for
the Montamara Festo, but
not to go to school. Shall
ask outright II they are
going to take me, or not?
: II. 8. q.
At depends altogether OF
the case. If you are little CIR
or boy whom they had though
of taking to raise, 1t would b,
all right to ask their inten
lions; but IL you are grown, o.
nearly so, and have a home Of
means of support. do not mention
1t. / do not think 1t wise tt
stay with friends so long unles.
you do something to help them II
return, or pay board--unlesl
they are taking you to raise.