davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28
SAYS UNCLE CAV

Sometimes I'm afraid that I don't
really belong. THE best people" do
not concern themselves greatly about
my morals, my religion, or my politics
about my clothes my manners, and
my occupation. The last might pass,
but have my doubts as to the other
two. For one thing, I refuse to sacri-
flee my appetite upon the altar of
ostentation. I want my salad when I
want it, regardless of when the sad
dog in over ripe evening dress thinks
I should take it. Sometimes I offend
this parsonage by calling for bacon
and greens. I do not care greatly
what he thinks of me SO long as he
cannot say I have mistreated him.
Neither do I concern myself as to the
opinion of Dorabel1a, the goddess at
the cashiers desk, except that I
one else think me disdainful of an
honest occupation But the "best
people seem etos take great pains to
avoid offense tqsstfe undertaker's as
sistant who hoFers about their chairs.
Whether they love him do not know,
but they fear him, and are exceedingly
careful to dine according to his ideas.
A sneer from Dorabella when the
waiter presents their checks and re-
ceives the change makes them posi-
lively ill, but it fails to worry me. I
fear I'm the fellow who was finally
and completely damned by Dorabel-
las dictum, Hes the gink that eats
the toast that comes with tn pork
chops" Clearly, I do not belong"
I eat the toast If feel inclined.
Conventionality has its uses, but
it should be a servant rather than a
god. A temperate observance of the
proprieties as defined by the mode of
the day is doubtless good thing,
that it prevents confusion and saves
money for the restauranteur and the
tailor, if not for the consumer. But
when it makes a slave of a good two
listed American worker, the son of
a captain of industry or the descend
ant of soldier of Valley Forge, and
gives such a man a somewhat too
highly oiled gentleman from Geneva
for a master, it is time for one who
still loves a measure of personal lib
erty to snap his fingers at convention
atty, bid a reluctant farewell to the
"best people, and insist upon having
his salad when he wants it.-(Copy-
righted, 1912, by w. E. Williams.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28
GLOBE SIGHTS
BY THE ATCHISOE GLOBE.

What a smart world this would be II all
the pupils were students.
Don't be surprised if people fail to
agree with you; you may be wrong.
A person who has accomplished a little
can make others very uncomfortable.
Nobody ever accomplished anything by
saying: IT'S a good thing; you do it.
You are unusually reasonable If you will
admit that perhaps your neighbor is right
Also, as age ambles ones way, a
masque ball becomes rather foolish than
entertaining.
There is also the man who gains dis
tinction by getting well after the doctors
give him up.
Among your wide acquaintance ever
know anyone who used perfume without
using too much of 1T?
Tt takes a mighty mean man to steal a
woman's purse and the pay is poor, con-
sidering such occupation as a steady job.
There may be, as the railway folders
intimate, scenery that beggars decriptio4i,
but there is no lack of those will to
try it.
Much as the mercenary marriage is alb
horred, you will observe a girl is said to
have made a Good Match when she
marches a moneyed man to the altar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28
EVENING CHAT
BY RUTH CAMERON.

A father who was undoubtedly spelling
his children by the 1avishness with which
he anticipated their every DESIRE was
warned by friend that he was being
unkind in his effort to be very kind.
wen, you see, he answered, when I
was boy my father was very close with
me, and I was always being left ont of
things because didn't have the money.
although he had plenty. made up my
mind that If I ever had any children, they
should have everything that money could
buy If I could possibly get it for them
With an air of evident pride, and an
obvious belief that he had justified him
self, this foolish man made this foolish
explanation. And yet, as a business man.
he has great reputation for keenness
and far-sightedness.
Without doubt there are more children
spoiled by the pendulum method than any
other way.
What do mean by the pendulum
method? Why, just what this man was
doing: fleeing from one extreme of child
training to another.
II am the product of my grandmother's
belief in training girls to be good house,
wives whether they liked 1t or not" says
a woman who is singularly helpless In re-
gard to the simplest Homework. "She was
so strict and severe with my mother that
mother said we should never be forced to
do anything about the house. And behold
mel i can tell you my daughter is going
to be a good housewife If she doesn't
learn her A C's."
You see, even while she Illuminated
against the pendulum method, this wo-
man pledged herself to carry IT on.
Another woman, whose brain has been
developed at the expense of her body de-
clareS that she Is determined to have her
children make the best of their bodies
and let their brains take care of them
selves.
A man, whose faher enforced strict
church attendance upon him all through
his minority, says that he will never even
ask his boys to go inside a church.
fered from one extreme We must have SUI
fered from on extreme We must make our
children suffer from the other.
Take 1t home. You mean to be the
hest father or mother that ever lived, but
is your zeal eating up your discretion?
Are you bringing your children up by
the pendulum method?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28
PLAYING POLITICS.

If congress adjourns on June Is, as
Mr.. Underwood, the new GEAR" of the
house of representatives, says it must.
it is likely to break all congressional
records of the do-nothing variety. BY
no possible chance can the slow-movine
senate by that date dispose of one
tenth of the measures that the house
has put I'D to it.
Probably this will be entirely salts
factory to the Democratic leaders in
the house. They have been working
assiduously on all sorts of most i'm
portant legislation and shipping 1t to
the senate. by the CARLOAD. They have
fixed up tariff revision bills over night
on intricate and complex schedules of
the utmost concern to a variety of
business interests. They have hur-
riedly conceived legislation on all sorts
of big topics and damned it through
the house in a fashion more arbitrary
than was ever practiced by the old
Republican machine of the house in
it's most halcyon days.
In all probability, much of this legis-
lation has been quickly prepared and
acted upon, not with the idea that ii
was the best kind of legislation for the
matters affected, but merely for the
purpose of playing politics by putting
important legislation in an almost i'm
possible form up to a Republican SEN
ate with the knowledge aforethought
that it stood little chance of being ell
acted into law. Undoubtedly it was
in this very spirit that the Sherwood
dollar-a-day pension bill was rushed
through the house. Most of the Demo
cratic leaders are from below the Ma
son and Dixon line. Until the Sher,
wood bill made it's appearance, none OF
the public men in that section of the
country ever pleaded guilty to advo-
eating larger pensions for the Union
soldiers. Here, though, was a chance
to play big politics. A Democratic
dollar-a-day pension bill was passed on
to the senate with the hope that it
would result in no pension Legislation.
at all. Then the Democrats could have
made big play for the soldier vote in
the important campaign SO far away.
But the Republican senate spoiled this
little game by forcing the house to ac-
cept pension bill which is generally
satisfactory to the veterans.
For the same reason, no doubt, the
Democratic house has passed most of
its big legislation of this session. Ant
Mr.. Underwood rather let's the cat out
of the bag in his declaration that con-
gress will have to adjourn by June Is.
for he knows full well that the senate
with its cumbersome methods, will not
be able by that time to act on all .4-e
measures that the house has submit
ted for its consideration. This political
trick, however, is of such antique vint-
age, that Mr.. Underwood and his
friends will not be able to fool many
of the voters with it,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
rFrom the Chicago News.1


much feeding also maketh man run.
Most ola mans Illusions depart with MS
hair.
The morals of some people seem to run
on flat wheels.
Even a blind man may be able to see
e point of a joke
An almanac is the graveyard in which
ancient jokes are buried
When a. girl marries she exchanges an
adntrer for a regular boarder
The world owes a man nv1ng-as long
as it keeps him in the penitendary-
pessinnist can get more genuine pleas
ure out of a calamity than out OF a nless-
ing.
Too many men make the mistake OF
oyerestimating their capacity wren oney
are looking for trouble.
A knocker is a man who goes about
with hammer looking for some otner
fellow to pose as an anvil
If a man is millionaire 1T Is an easy
matter to bring up his SON SO that he
won't be able to support himself later.
When a woman asks a dis1nterested
man for his candid opinion of her the
chances are she would consider him a
brute if he told her the truth.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28
QUAKER MEDITATIONS.
[From the Philadelphia RecorC

lFrom the Philadelphia Record]
Many a man prunes his family tree by
cutting his poor relations.
The average woman is so susceptible
that even her pictures flatter her.
A man may complain that he isn't feel
ing himself without believing in dual
personality.
The man who assumes the I-am-holier-
than-thou attitude seems to forget that
the Swiss cheese can do the same thing
Marrying for money may demonstrate
that even when woman makes man a
poor wife he may make her rich hus-
band.
Truth is stranger than fiction" quoted
the Wise Guy. Yes" agreed the Simple
Mug, but any magazine editor will tell
you 1t hasn't such high market value"
what did you enjoy most about my
play?' asked the budding dramatist. THE
waits between the acts replied the can
did friend. They were so long could
get in three drinks between each scene.'
She was a cook. very good cook. and
she was dying. "Oi hope Oh shall mate
yez in heaven" she gasped. ST hope so,
Bridget" replied her mistress Good SER
wants are mighty scarce, even in heaven,
imagine, and 1 don't want to lose track
OF you"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28
THE TITANIC DIsAsrER.

Il
When Pinch-fist and Plutocrat. Mammon
Set up. a, new kingdom, with Midas
athrone,
They challenged old Neptune and all the
That rule the great oceans from zone unto
zone.
They sent new Titan. steel-eIad and 81
gantic,
To battle with Neptune and conquer the
And wrote on their banner:-'.Unsinkab
ever,
Wen ride the wild pillows of ocean. care
Then over the surges. men saw the IT.
Sweep seaward and onward with gigantic
Defying all danger-a matchless sea-
ranger,
Which nothing should hinder or swerye
On pathways of pleasure, high over the
A throng of gay mortals. in joys jubilee.
Took leave of their kindred, while many
Smiled down on the sun-kissed and SHIN
mering sea.
Then. out in the shadows. where midnight
was dreaming,
The voice of old Midas. was heard, in
the hold
1.-The time is suspicious, the hour is pro-
Wen make worId-record. and pile up
the gold.
ION with more energy, Speed up your
engines!
There's nothing can daunt us, or make
us afraid,
Danger unthinkabIei Liner unsinkable!
Speed, to the limit! Let none be dismayed!
"Avaunt, all We scoffers! It's coin in our
Let glory and honor be ours for all time,
The king of sea-forces!-The master of
courSeS
The world shall declare our achievements
"Cut out the fool warnings of danger be-
fore us,
Forget that the air grows a little more
cold,
Wen speed up the engines and grind up
And turn all their fragments to ingotS of
goldi
strenergy,
Make hell cool place alongside of the
hold;
Life-boats are needless, search-nghts but
Lo, here's the Leviathan, Job hath fore
told!'
But, Neptune stood waiting out there on
the ocean,
And thrust his great trident through
armor and keel;
And down to the underworld, miles from
the daylight,
Men saw the Unsuitable" stagger and
reel.
And there, as the midnight shook hands
with the morning,
With prayers going up, and brave men
going down,
The world found it's mightiest greed-born
disaster,
crown.
HENRY w. ROBY, M. D.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28
Eski1nos of Labrador.

It is suggested by DR.. S. K Hutton,
who spent five years in Labrador,
that the progenitors of the Labrador
Eskimos came from Siberia, and that
they are physically related to the
Mongolia So far as is known, they
are the aboriginal owners of the
Labrador coast, and their territory ex-
tends inland more than a hundred
miles. Two hundred years ago they
oo cupied the whole length of the
coast from north to south, about 500
miles, and their numbers were great
er. Now they are confined to that
part which hes between Makkovik
and Killinek. between latitude 55 de-
grees and so degrees 80 minutes
north. In that area there are now
fewer than 1900, people, practically
all that remain of the Labrador
branch of the Innuit race They are
all protesting Christians and live such
orderly, quiet and regular lives that
there is no policeman or even a resi-
dent justice of the peace in their coun-
try. At present there is little for the
white man to covet in the country of
the Innuit, and therein lies the prin-
cipal safety of the Eskimos.-Chicago
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28

the east and the operators had been
settled by an advance in wages that
the miners demanded, than there
came another announcement from the
coal operators that the price of coal
had been advanced sufficiently to pro-
vide the increased pay for the min
ers and a little bit more. The time is
not far distant when the consumers
will not show the sympathy they have
in the past to workers who demand
more pay under threat to strike.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28
JOURNAL ENTRIES

No act is too trivial for the enthusi-
astic gossip to overlook.
Even a false friend provides you with
some valuable experience.
y =
What has become of the old-fashioned
man who used to fight when called
Har2
n
And the vanity of humans is also
shown by the number of Photographic
galleries they support.
x K
Another joke that's greatly overwork-
ed concerns the alleged promiscuous
purloining of umbrellas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28
HU1NOR OF THE DAY

Optimistic Wife-I think cook is improv-
| ing, don't you? Husband-Why, at dinner
tonight everything but the black coffee
was horrible. Optimistic Wife, know
that. But usually that's bad, too.-LAfe.
what did you do with all the get-rich-
quick money you landed?" asked Mr..
F1amm. Lost it, replied Mr.. F1imm.
"a fellow invented a get-rich-quicker
scheme and lured me into it-"-Washinn-
ton Star.
what you need is outdoor exercise"
but a man can't take outdoor exercise
at this season, doc. It's too cold to sit
games haven't started yet."-Washington
Herald.
Gladys fjust 2zJ-This is my birthday.
Mabelle. Guess how old am? MabeIle2
Oh, I'll guess 26- Gladys-Not very good
-Four years out of the way. MabeIle-WelI
dearie, I wanted to be sure and be on the
safe side.-Judge.
Takes US some time to train a girl"
remarked the head of the large depart
ment store. And then you lose LOT Of
girls through marriage" yes: but tbinSz
even up. A lot of girls get tired of theiT
husbands and come back to us.''-Wash-
ington Herald.
ST understand that he was critically i'll 10,
He was as soon as he became con-.
valescent." las soon as he became con-
valescent Yes He was dangerously
i'll, and then as soon as he became con-
valescent he became so critical there was
no pleasing him."-Houston Post.
Miss snowflake-Yo' beau am very
ntrary sort OF pussoni Miss Johnsing-
Yais- It runs in de family. He saws hia
gran father was one OBJ de six bes' se1IerS
in slavery days--Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28
.AYHAWKER JOTy

Fix this busted tire said Tippy
Baldwin, according to the Dickinson
County News, as he threw his dilapi-
dated shoe to a. cobbler.
Gold bearing coal has been discov-
cred in Wyoming, notes the Galena
Republican, and it adds: That's the
kind we've been paying for all winter,
The Little River Monitor reports
that the Crawford rooming house is
being further improved this week by
a handsome curb, which is being put
in by John Deeds
Rev. Hodson, the Agra United
Brethren pastor, was in our town Fri
day and purchased car of Tete John,
reports the Athol Record, and then it
signs: 1t seems as though all can af-
ford them but editors and school
teachers.
J. R. r. Hill was our official re-
porter at the ball game played Sun
day afternoon out at Proctor Farm,
says the Toronto Republican. cit was
a big game" says Jim. There was
and some runnin.' The score? 1
dunno; and I dunno which side
licked
A Rhode Island Red hen in DR..
with clear, plain ''W' on either side,
reports the Mankato Western Advo-
cate. Now, what did those letters
mean? Was one of them for Wilson"
ana the OIner 1Or william = Is II TO
be w. H. Taft and woodrow Wilson ?
Possible they were both for "Wil-
liam The Democrats have a William
who, might be at the head of the
ticket.
Over in st. Joseph the other day
the editor of the Wetmore Spectator
heard a story that is too good to keep.
An elegant new church had been COM
p1eted and time for dedication had
come. The officiaI-board desired had
they always do, that the building fund
should all be provided before dedica-
ton, so they sent to Indiana for a
minister with a national reputation
for raising funds. The reverend gen.
tleman came, and after putting in a
couple of days calling on prominent
members, he held a monster public
meeting. He preached eloquently,
wept copiously, and exhorted fervent-
1y, and raised a tremendous sum. The
next day the official board, which
had been deeply impressed with the
minister's spirituality and earnestness.
met and asked him how much they
owed him for his services. Imagine
their establishment when he replied,
Three hundred dollars The Specta-
tors old man will rub onions in his
eyes and weep a couple of hours every
day for a whole month at one hundred
Def
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28

Nine hundred automobiles are owned
by Topekans- This makes an automo-
bile for every fifty of Topeka's inhabi-
tants It is fair to assume, counting
the families, relatives and friends of
the automobile owners, that a dozen
or more persons get an occasional ride
in each automobile. In other words,
an unusually large proportion of To-
pekans enjoy the delights of automo-
bling
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28

An effort is to be made by the
American Railway association to COM
bat the more or less prevalent opinion
that railroad travel in foreign countries
is much safer than 1t is in the United
States. And when one stops to think
of the millions and millions of people
that are carried without injury on the
railroads of the United States each
year, the fact forces itself to the front
that railway travel here is remarka-
bly, safe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28
DAFFYDHS
BY u NoALL..

If a mans bed caught fire in Arkan-
sas would he be on Hot Springs?
CTommy! Keep your fingers out of the
ice creamy
If the sun got an encore would the
rainbow?
Cwhy not ask Sunny F7ora?)
If it's feet were cold would postage
stamp?
(Hand me that croduet mallet, Agnes.
There's fly on baby's nose.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28

If the Germans keep on building mon
ster dirigible balloons they will soon
win the honors for perseverance from
the spiders. The Parseval VI, of the
flexible type, has just been destroyed BY
q rqual. And the builders of these air
ships are running a close race with
Count Zeppelin in the number of their
expensive craft that have been destroy
ed without much, If any service being
obtained from them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28

If Colonel Roosevelt's and President
Taft's campaign managers are right in
their claims of the delegates they will
have on the first ballot at Chicago, the
unique spectacle will be presented at
the forthcoming Republican national
convention of the same delegates vot-
ing for two candidates on the same
hal1of
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28

than anticipated a fortnight ago. An
other encouraging feature often over
looked is the satisfactory state of our
foreign trade, the results of which for
the current fiscal year promise to
surpass all, records both in exports
and imports.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28

In an editorial in The Outlook. Colo
mel Roosevelt declares that political
bosses are useless. But this is only
another instance where he has changed
his mind. Such bosses were particu-
larIy useful in making his major politi-
cal career a success, and he so consid-
Ared them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28

wouldn't it be a good plan for the
sergeants-at-arms and doorkeeper5 at
the Republican national convention to
see that the delegates check their
shooting-irons and bowie-knives be-
fore they are allowed to enter the con-
Vention hall?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
From the New York Press

[From the New York Press.I
Girls are mighty lucky till they get mar
ried-
Quarrels breed only dozens, lies mil
lions.
Genius In man acts on his friends like
the stomachache. +-+.t+. --.-.
A millionaire doesn't need to care
whether he looks like one or not.
The reason it takes woman so long to
condole with another is it wouldn't II she
meant 1t.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28

One OF Mr.. LaFollette's admirable
traits is that 1t is always possible to
get an answer from him as his stand
on any question of the day. And he
never gives an equivocal answer. At
the New Jersey camp meeting he was
asked by a clergyman If he believed in
prohibition, and he answered promptly
ruffT7
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28

Why should the Temperance society
of the Methodist church have its head
quarters removed from Chicago to To-
pekao There is much more need for
labor for such an organization in Chi
cago and Illinois than there is in To-
zDel1a and Kansas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28

And what by the way has become of
one William Loeb, who was the VIII
liam Goat of all the blunders made by
Colonel Roosevelt during the two
terms of his presidential incumbency?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28

Who says the Mexicans are not prac-
teal people? The Commercial club of
the City of Mexico has agreed to pay a
days wages to all road overseers who
will attend lectures by D. Ward King
ON the advantages of the road-drag.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal Is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
felegraph report of that great news or
eanization for the exclusive afternoon
qualification IN Topeka
The news Is received in The State Jour
.al building over wires for this sole pslr-
QpS0.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28

That alleged anarchistic plot to as
sassinate President Taft, because he
abrogated the Russian treaty, was no
more cruel, heartless or without suf-
ficient reason than the plot that has
been conceived to kill him politically.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-28

They varied the monotony in Texas
the other day by burning negrot at the
stake in the principal street of a town.
Usually such barbarisms are perpe-
trated on the outskirts of a city.