The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1912-04-19
How to Invest Ones Fortune.

A gentleman who, according to mis-
own statement, recently came into $780,
600 left by an eccentric but Industrious
uncle, and decided to advertise for disin-
terested advice as to the manner of its
investment, writes a brief article in tic
Strand Magazine on the results of his
unusual procedure.
The advertisement was inserted in a
New York newspaper. Two days later
he strolled down TO learn If there were
any answers. They were. The clerk
in the department handed out six bulky
packages, 60O-odd letters in all lent him
cord to tie them together and conf
dentially advised him to got a handcart.
He spent whole day reading them.
but to his regret found that there were
practically no disinterested writers and
very few suggestions that looked rea-
sonably safe and practical. One of the
most earnest replies, for instance, was
from an inventor who had an idea that,
he said, would unquestionably net $780,.
900. Only s10O would float the scheme
and the investor would receive half of
the proceeds.
Then there.was q plysician,an English
specialist of note, who needed 5000 or
5000 to equip offices in New York. He
was a specialist on women's troubles
and he had no doubt, in view of the debili-
tated condition of the sex in America, he
would soon be able to guarantee the
oblising lender of the amount above
mentioned very handsome dividends.
The advertiser was particularly struck
with the enthusiasm of one correspond
ent who wanted him to invest the entire
amount in wonderful self-soaping
washboard. This washboard, according
to the correspondent, saved the washer
from the disagreeable necessity of hand
ling the soap, cut down the time of
washing fully one-fifth, saved half the
soap, gave superior results, and cost no
more to manufacture than the ordinary
board.
When he came to a post card from
Helene,a lady who asked him to reply in
the personal column of certain news
paper, the thought for moment that he
had certainly found disinterested adj
wiser. Helene wrote as follows:
Be satisfied with your 100000 and
don't speculate. If you must have
something to do, buy income property
and take care of it yourself. If you
have never Travelled place your money
out on mortgage and travel. If single
get married and let some good woman
enjoy your fortune with you. If
were better acquainted could give
you more advice. Above all, don't
lose your money. Answer by person
al in tomorrow's paper.
After thinking it over a bit,however
he concluded that even she had an eye to
SCSdiiu6 PCiSohai Aii tiiS SotdtS
left by his uncle. The expressed desire
for e further acquaintance left small
doubt on that point. Helene wanted
either to marry him or be his personal
palmist and fortune tller.
TO sum up,the gentleman says that he
received offers to run plays, mount
operas. finance dressmakers,. start
parlors, speculate in every
mining and industrial scheme in the
and even to help start a new
religion. All Of which,for reasons that
hardly need be mentioned. he respect
fully declined to entertain.
He concludes with the statement that
In the end he took no ones advice,b but
invested his money according to his own
Which was certainly wise, II
the only source of advice he had was
the queer crew that answered his queer
advertisement.-lnter-