New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-02-04
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Seldom has a rebuke been received by a
great statesman more humiliating or more
damaging to the effect Of Il keynote speech
than was that which Don G. Seitz gave
10 Senator La Toilette AT the Periodical
Publishers Association dinner In Philadel-
phia. After Mr.. La Toilette had talked for
two hours and kept an exhausted audience
until half past l in the morning waiting
for n chance 10 hear the remainder OF the
dinner programme. Mr.. ScitZ. as toast
master told them that tho rest of the town
had gone 20 bed, so they might rs well stay
and finish. He added that the situation
reminded him OF the story Of the long
wnded critic OF Darwin who shouted: Are
you men or are you monkeys? II you're
monkeys, where are your tails" And a
man in the audience replied: Mister, we've
been sitting still SO long that our tails are
worn Of"
I'VE keep our automobiles In the mirage"
asid Mrs Bunderby.
That's where most OF u.s. keep our auto
mobiles" returned her caller with an in
ward smilc.-Boston Transcript.
JUST FICTION.
Mothers learn that childrens hbs due to
an inability 10 separate fact and nction.-Ncws
1tem.I
Why do children fb? iris plain
Human nature, nothing mere,
Just kinking OF the brain,
Adams trouble DER ana DER;
IT'S a humankind affection
Mixing up the fact and Action.
When a public. worn and tired.
For a subway gins TO shrek
Shrleks until all hopes expired.
Then is told: ones sure-next week.
Pray don't think the falsehood wilfu-
Fiction simply is more skiful
When a man denies he wrote
Letters-never mind Just who
Then to light IS brought note
And his words appear untrue,
Kindly credit him with knowing
What truth is, though fiction throwing.
A. w. u.
Mary, how was IL saw you entertaining
a policeman to supper last night!'
II dunno, mum, unless YOU was peering
tEro' the key ole. Punch.
In 4 lawsuit over the will OF Joseph
Friedenwald OF Baltimore. the question as
to the testator's mental condition at the
time the will was drawn. by which
fortune of nearly 100000 was disposed OF.
must be settled. Among those who APP
peared 10 testify to the soundnesS of mind
of the testator was Cardinal Gibbons, who
was Mr.. Friedenwalds intimate friend and
beneficiary under the Will. The Cardinal
carries n cane which the testator presented
to him, on the handle of which Is Inscribed
in Hebrew and English a verse from Deu-
teronoTy.
what is conscience?" asked the Sunday
school teacher. This was followed by
dead silence.
What. 10 we call the thing that tells us
when we do wrong?" asked the teacher
Grandma" promptly r, piled the littlest
girl In the class.-PhIadelphia Record.
While the Societe Culinairc Philanthro-
pique and its invited guests were interested
I'm the danties and culinary masterpieces
at the exhibition which took place at Ter
race Garden, note was received by one of
the well known chefs from man in tho
adjoining restaurant. which read over
our beer we have been discussing your ex-
hibltion, and my wife contends that not one
Of your members can sive n recipe for
Kuggel or Gesetztes Essen. These are
dishes, we'll known and popular with
mlInon New 1ofkerS. no" ABOUT III Inc
note went TO the president, Emile Gigoux
and other celebrities and oamo back with
this Endorsement: wife right-wifc always
right. Dishes belong to pork and beans
class maybe. We never trouble with such"
ut is unlawful. isn't T. 10 dun a man by
means of a postal card?"
II don't know, but will say that it's i'm
pote."-Chicago RecordHerald.
Max Lowenthal. who Is referred TO in the
Berlin newspapers as the restor OF Ger
man Journalism" celebrated his nnetieth
birthday !. that ely on January o. The
revolution OF lSls made his. country uncom-
Portable for him. and, like many of his COM
patriots. he emigrated TO the United States,
where he remained until 1866 when he re-
turned to his home and became the editor
OF the "Berliner Bank uni iIandleszeitung,"
which place nc filed for many years aud
resigned 10 accept position of trust with a
philanthropic organization. "He is now en-