davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
American "Arietocracx.n

If gilt were only gold, or sugar
candy common sense, what fine
thing our society would be! If to
lavish money upon objects de vertu.
to wear the most costly dresses and
always to have them cut in the height
of fashion; to build houses 80 feet
broad as if they were palaces; to fur
nish them with all the luxurious de-
vices of Persian genius; to give, su-
perb banquets at which your guests
laugh and which make you miserable;
to drive a fine carriage and ape Eu-
ropean liveries and crests and coats
of arms; to resent the friendly ad-
vances of your bakers wife and the
lady of your butcher (you being your
self a cobbler's daughter; to talk
much Of the ''old families" and of your
aristocratic foreign friends; to despise
labor; to prate of good society,"" to
travesty and parody. in every con-
ceivable way. society which we
know only in books and by the super
fetal observation of foreign travel,
which arises out of a social orgaDiza-
tion entirely unknown to us, and
which is opposed to our fundamental
and essential principles; II all these
were fine, what a prodigiously fine So
ciety would ours be!-George William
Curtis.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
Pump for Horn PLAYERS.

The patient German inventor has
produced a new labor-saving device;
this time 1t is meant to make easier
the work CT the man who plays
wind instrument.
To maintain at the lips an air pres
sure required for some wind instru-
ments is fatiguing. Besides this the
necessity for taking breath once in a
while makes 1t almost impossible to
render properly long passages full OF
sustained notes.
Hence the inventor has devised
machine operated by the foot which
conveys air under pressure by tube
to the mouth Of the player. 1t would
be, OF course, impossible to attach the
tube from the bellows directly to the
instrument, since 1t Is by the mouth
that character is given to the sounds.
But the musician using this inven-
ton will have his mouth constantly
filled with air. and can breathe in
through his nose without interrupting
his flow Of music.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
Drunken Monkeys.

According to a recent letter from
the Congo region on the west coast of
Africa, the monkeys there are inor-
dinately fond of n kind of beer made
by the natives. who use the beverage
to capture their poor relations.
Having placed quantities of the beer
where the monkeys can get 1t, the ma
tives wait until their victims are in
various degrees OF inebriation, and
when they then mingle with them the
poor creatures are too much fuddled
to recognize the difference between
negro and ape.
When n negro takes the hand Of one
of them to lead him off, some other
fond creature clings to the hand of
the latter one, and another one to his
hand; thus a single negro may some
times be seen carrying off a string Of
staggering monkeys.
When secured the beer Is admin
istered in decreasing quantities. so
that they may only gradually awaken
to the sad results OF their spree.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
PENGUIN OIL INDUSTRY
BIRDS ARE CAPTURED AND BRED
FOR PROFIT.
Macquarle Island, Between Tasmania
and the Antarctic Continent, Is
the Center Of a Promising
Commercial Enterprise.

What is probably the most southerly
industry of the world is being carried
on at Macquarie island, about halfway
between Tasmania and the Antarctic
continent, in capture of penguins for
their oil. Macquarie island belongs
to the state of Tasmania, and has an
area of about $4,000 acres, being about
twenty-five miles long and five miles
wide. The island is leased by the
Tasmania government to Joseph
Hatch, who has established a penguin
oil industry there. Recently meeting
Mr.. Hatch, 1 obtained the following
particulars from him:
There are probably S0,000,000 PEN
gums on the island, SO that the stock
to be drawn from seems almost limit
less. There are also large number
of sea elephants about the shores of
this island. The oil is obtained from
the penguins by boiling the carcasses
in digesters capable of dealing with
500 birds at time. The tops of the
digesters are fastened doYn and steam
applied until about twenty-five pounds
pressure is ATTAINED. The steam is
then turned off and water pumped into
the bottoms of the digesters, this
causing the oil to rise, when it is
takken off the top by tap.
The oil is placed in barrels and sold
to binder twine makers in Australia
and New Zealand. There is good
market for all the oil that is produced
here, but the industry has met with
several severe losses through wreck
of ships attempting to visit the island.
There is no harbor about the island,
so that vessels have to lie about half
a mile off the rocky coast, and all
material has to be conveyed to and
from the shore on RATS formed of
casks. Owing to the roughness of
the open roadstead, it is impossible to
obtain insurance for vessels trading
there.
Macquarie island is about $50 miles
southeast of Hobart. The island is
barren, being covered only with tus-
socky grass. Whaling ships visiting
there introduced rabbits and Maori
hens, which are now quite prolific.
The Mawson Antarctic expedition
from Australia has established wire
less station there, and daily messages
are now being received at Hobart. 1t
was the intention of this expedition to
use Macquarie island as means of
sending messages all the way from
their base at Adele land to Hobart,
but unfortunately the wireless station
established at Adele land has been
unable to communicate with Mac
quarie island, owing, it is supposed,
to being too near the magnetic dis
turbances caused by the proximity
of the south magnetic pole. The
station at Macquarie island, however.
has already proved of considerable
value to shipping in Australian waters
by giving warning of storms coming
up from the south-Consul Henry D.
Baker, Hobart, Tasmania.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
BUYS THE BOTTOM OF A BAY
Hartford, Conn.,, Man Finds His Sup
posed Washington Ranch Guarded
by Battleshlps.

Bremerton. Wash.-When Z. A. Full
Ter, tobacco importer of Hartford.
Conn, receives a letter from n realty
company OF this city he will learn that
his Western ranch OF 160 acres Is
guarded from marauding Indians by a
fleet OF Uncle Sans war vessels,
which are anchored some ten fathoms
above 1t at low tide.
Fuller wrote to the realty company,
to whom he had been referred by
Bradstreet's, asking for information
about his farm. which he located ac-
curately by range. township and sec.
ton.
Investigation showed "the farm"
lies at the bottom Of the bay between
Fort Orchard and Brementon. where
the Pacific reserve fleet Is lying at
anchor.
Fuller did not state how he came in
to possession Of the farm. He asked
for Information relative to its value,
also the probability OF finding a GUS
toner for It, as no desired to sell. So
far the realty man has found no pur.
chaser.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
OFFICIAL UNIFORM OF BEAUTY
2otentate of Microscopic South
American State Wished to Make
impression on People.

For the seventeenth time In three
years the microscopic South Ameri-
can state had undergone change OF
administration. and the new potentate
President Casper the three hundred
and second, had summoned an artist,
and was ordering new designs for al!
the official uniforms.
Il want something striking" he de-
clared- something snowy. even. My
people are impressed by such things.
[ have here some sketches | made my
self. Look them over. and be guild
ed by these ideas as far as possible.
The artist examined them carefully.
They were gorgeous affairs. Green
coats We'd with crimson vests In bril-
liancy. orange-colored trousers with
scarves of Cambridge blue. All the
colors of the rainbow were there.
"Ah!" he said. turning the pages.
This is evidently for the navy. this
for the army, this for he-this-what
Is this for. with the long plume on the
three-cornered hat, the bright yellow
dress. trimmed with purple and"
That" explained the president
bravely. "is for the secret police!
London Answers.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
Effectually Aroused.

A large. perspiring individual en-
tered subway train at one of the up
town stations yesterday afternoon,
squeezed himself into a seat between
two women and promptly went to
sleep. He nodded. he swayed from
side to side with every motion of the
car, and at last, to the secret delight
of every passenger opposite. began
slowly but surely to lay his head on
the shoulder of one Of the young wom-
en- beside him. At this juncture the
unexpected happened. Without even
raising her eyes from her paper the
young woman reached into her bag
with one free hand, drew forth a
small silver vinaigrette of smelling
salts and carefully placed it under the
sleeper's nose. There was a rum
bling sound, followed by a series of
sneezes. and the man sat bolt upright.
blinking in bewildered fashion. while
the car echoed with laughter. The
only person who took no part in the
merriment was the young woman, who
calmly replaced her vinaigrette and
went on reading. The man remained
wide awake for the rest of the trip
New York Times.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
ANYTHING TO SAVE THE HAT
Lucinda Forced to Smile at Antics Of
Men Caught In Rain With New
Straw Headsear.

Il have nothing to say against
men," said Lucinda, but really it
makes me smile to see them in the
straw hat season when a shower
comes. At such time you may see a
woman in all her finery keeping calm
ly on her way quite unruffied. while
men are darting into open doorways
or starting to run, all to protect their
precious straw hats from few drops
of rain. And what funny things they
do besides!
Plenty of men when the sprinkle
begins take off their hat and carry it
sort OF carelessly down at their sides,
as If they had taken It off just to cool
their fevered brow. don't you know, to
make themselves more comfortable;
but really so that less of the hats
surface may be exposed to the rain.
And then you may see a man carrying
his hat SO tilted that the rain will
fall on the under side Of the brim and
not on the top and crown.
You may see some men take off
their hat and put 1t quite frankly un-
der their coat and hold that over it
to keep it dry. while the number Of
men who open out newspaper and
hold that over their bright straw hat
Is not small.
THE man who holds newspaper
over his hat tries usually to do this
with careless air, as If he didn't
care much about it, but thought he
might as well give his hat some pro-
lection. But sometimes you see a man
wrestling with newspaper desper-
ately.
Here, for instance, was a man who
had been standing in doorway wait
ing for car, and who now
when he saw his car coming, clapped
newspaper over his hat and ran out
into the rain. Heavy business this
was, for he had to hold that news
paper on with one hand while he
grabbed for the handhold on the side
of the car with the other. And after
all know he must have found that
his hat had been ruined when he
got aboard.
But here was another man, who
with the aid of a newspaper was keep
ing his hat absolutely dry. He had
carefully and completely wrapped his
hat up in newspaper, and now here
he was with his hat so wrapped and
carried under his arm. walking bare
headed down Broadway!
Really, 1t does make me smile
| when / see what men do with their
hats when a shower comes."-New
York Times.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
Wanted it Complete.

Several days ago housefurnishing
shop on Chestnut street. west Of
Broad, had display of bathroom sup
plies in their window. In one cor
ner was a bathtub. Over this was
hung a portable shower with sign
attached which read, Complete.
So" A man came into the store
and said to the salesman. "I'll take
the shower" The latter was rather
surprised that such a seedy-looking
individual would make such a pur-
chase and said, I'VE do not send
these C. o. d." That's all right"
he replied. and took a ten-dollar note
from a roll of bills. In the course
of the day the shower was delivered
to a certain address The next day
a little girl came into the shop. and,
giving the address of the purchaser
of the day before said. I'VE got the
shower all right. but my father wants
to know where the bathtub is" The
firm sent for the shower and re.
turned the $40 bill without comment
philadelphia Ledger.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
TEXT TAKEN TOO LITERALLY
Little Julia Was Deeply Impressed by
Sunday School Lesson on Enter
talnIns Angels.

BE not forgetful to entertain
strangers: for thereby some have en-
tertained angels unawares."
The foregoing quotation is from
chapter xiii, verse 2, Book OF He
brews. and 1t is introduced solely be-
cause 1t constitutes a vital part Of this
story. Julia Is ten years old and she
goes to Sunday school 1t appears
that on a recent occasion the Sunday
school teacher had considerable to
say about this matter of entertain
ing angels unawares.' Anyway. 1t
made n deep impression with Julia
few days after the lesson Julia's
mother left her in charge of the house
for a few hours. When the mother
returned she went to particular cup
in the cupboard to extract therefrom
one-half dollar. In this cup Is kept
the family pin money. and Julia's
mother knew that she had put fifty
cents there before she had gone out.
But the half dollar was gone There
was an expression of anxiety on Ju.
lia's face and mother scented mis-.
chief.
Did you take that money! asked
the mother. somewhat severely.
Julia broke into tears. 81 gave 1t to
a man that came to the back door.
sobbed the little girl.
Gave 1t to a mani" exclaimed the
mother. What for?"
81 thought he might be God" tear
fully replied Julia.-Kansas City Star
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
PANTHERS SLAY COW
BEASTS CAUSE A SCARE IN OLD
PENNSYLVANIA.
State Rangers Find Many indications
Of Their Presence, Including Signs
Of Attacks That Had Been
Made on Bears.

Williamsport. Pa.-The panther
scare that has laid hold of the Pine
Creek region and which began
month ago when Abram Highwood OF
Lucullus found cow and two heifers
slain In the woods has been intensi-
fed by a discovery made by state
forest ranger, M. e. Westcott of Slate
Run, during an inspection trip over
his range.
At n point about two miles up State
Run his attention was attracted by
the torn up condition of the ground
leading to the edge of a steep bare
embankment, and a trail could be
very easily discerned in the clay soil
of the embankment itself. showing
that something or somebody engag-
ing in desperate struggle had gone
down over the embankment. West
colt followed out his discovery. fear
ing that perhaps some luckless trout
fisherman had been attacked by
bear or a catamount and had met
death at the foot of the embankment.
Westcott wasn't long finding evil
dence at the bottom of the embank-
ment to show what had taken place
there. The ground was terribly torn
up and so fresh that he concluded
that the battle must have taken place
that day. Great patches OF long
black animal hair to which in some
instances torn flesh adhered were
found upon the ground.
The brush was disturbed for yards
around. and splotches of blood were
he, hoi
of black bear. and that the animal
had been attacked by a panther there
wasn't must doubt. for no other crea'
ture native to the Pine Creek region
would tackle a full grown black bear.
The attack had evidently started at
the top of the ledge, for a subsequent
examination showed the excoriated
bark of a tree from which the panther
evidently had made its initial leap
upon the unsuspecting bear as the lat
ter passed beneath.
The distance the fighting animals
rolled was about 30 feet, and the
way the ground was torn up at the
foot of the bank showed the fight had
continued for some time.
Westcott made thorough search Of
find the carcass of the bear. but was
unable to do SO. and he concluded
that bruin at last got the better OF
the fight and drove the panther off.
The proved presence Of a panther
in the Pine Creek and Black Forest
region has created the widest sort OF
interest among all the settlers OF
those parts, and the latest find. show
ing the desperation Of the creature in
tackling bear. has added to the nat
ural trepidation. Samuel Lebo OF Lu.
cullus. ranger whose district lies in
the very heart of the black bear coun.
try. and embraces some of the wild
est territory of any owned by the
state. has equipped himself particular
ly for action If he comes in sight Of
the panther.
The theory is that II there is one
panther there are more. so that over
the vast stretch of range throughout
McHenry and Brown townships in
Lycoming county and in Gallagher
township In Clinton county the closest
watch is being kept for these destruc
tive animals.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
NEW JERSEY CASTLE ROBBED
Jewels Stolen From House Built Like
Medieval Dungeon and Guard
ed BY Bulldogs.

Belleville, N. J.-If you had built
your house like a medieval dungeon,
with iron doors and bars at the win
dows; II you had stationed three
ferocious bulldogs to guard 1t as the
fairy-tale kings guarded their princess
daughters; II you had put all your
family jewelry in two strongboxes.
locked those boxes in closet and
then locked that, and then-THEN
found. when you went to look for
these jewels. that they were GONE!
what would you think OF the saying
that mans house Is his castle?"
Well. 1t happens in this instance
that the castle was built by a woman.
so there's an end to that puzzle. The
woman is Mrs. Elizabeth Levin Of
with with her daughter.
Two years ago Mrs. Levin built a
house like the one described. She
has always had shivering fear of
thieves. so she had an iron door. with
bars behind the window. put in the
front entrance: corralled three Of the
fiercest bulldogs she could find, OF the
sort that cartoonists portray in the
act q tearing triangular patches from
the seats of pie-seeking hoboes' breech.
es locked up her jewels in two
boxes, one within the other. and lock.
ed these In closet.
A few days ago caller came to the
house and Mrs Levin said she would
like to show her the "sparklers." She
went to the closet. unlocked It, got
out the boxes. unlocked them and
then tainted.
The jewels were gone.
There Is not mark on the house
to show that 1t was broken into. no
servant girl has left precipitately, no
ghost has groaned on the premises.
Mrs. levin searched and ransacked
the dwelling for two days and then
reported tho theft to the police.
Among the missing heirlooms nre n
ring with 16 diamonds, scarfpin
with 3S diamonds and a nuubor of
other Jewels.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
Muffled Knocks.

"Verena, bring Uncle Elijah another
napkin; he has tucked that one under
his chin"
Il was only joking when l said you
had been calling on the manicure, Mr..
Plimmins; can see that you have
MT"
It's awfully good of you to stay so
long this evening. Mr.. Spooner, suf-
,fering as you must be from those tight
shoes"
How much trouble 1t is to look
after boys! l don't wonder, Mrs.
Chucksley, that you seldom have
time to wash Bobbys face"
Clarence, dear. are you starting a
beard, or have you merely forgotten
to shaver"
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
Corrected,

The friend took the visiting Boston
ian to the ball game. The 3ostonian
didn't care for the game, but the local
man had nothing else TO show him.
There. see," said the native; the
pitcher has just thrown a curved ball.
Did you notice it?"
Il noticed it," replied the Bostonian.
But l wouldn't call 1t curved. l
would call it sinusoidal."
Whereupon the native ceased to Of
fer further International they left
the grounds at the end Of the sixth
inning. the home team being hope
lessly in the minority.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
A Real PhIIanthropist.

A North side lumber dealer con-
tracted to supply lot OF lumber to a
stranger. On looking 1t over he found
1t full of knotholes and told his Gus
toner about it frankly.
You may not want this lumber"
he said.
why not?"
Il want to be honest with you. It's
full of knotholes."
The stranger only laughed.
I'll take it," he declared This
lumber is to go around some baseball
grounds. Knotholes won't hurt mat
ters any. l was a kid myself once. >"
-Pittsburg Post.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24

A New York farmer visited a dem
tist in one OF the upstate cities. to
be treated for an liberated tooth. The
dentist advised taking gas as it would
only make difference of so cents and
spare much pain. at the same time
showing his machine and explaining
asleep for minute or two and then
would awake with tooth and pain
gone. At last the patient consented
and took out his wallet. Never
mind paying now." said the dentist.
II wasn't thinking Of paying" respond
ed the patient, but thought II was
going to sleep I'd like to count my
money first"
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
Waqes No Object.

Cant YOU get any work." asked a
woman of the tramp who had applied
at the back door for food.
"Yes, ma'am." he retorted. II was
offered a steady jub by the man who
lives down the road in that big white
house"
That's Mr.. Oatseed. What was the
work."
HE wanted me to get up at four in
the morning, milk II COWS. feed, wa
ter and rub down four horses. clean
the stables, and then chop wood until
1t was time to begin the days work.
What did he want to payf"
"I dunno, ma'am. didn't stop to
ask."-Youth's Companion.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
A Qeflnltlon.

willie-Pa. Mr.. Jones and Mr.. Smith
and Mr.. Robinson are always talking
about the "H. p" OF their autos. What
does that mean?
Pain Mr.. Jones' case It means
high priced" in Mr.. Smiths hit peo.
ple," and in Mr.. Robinson's, half paid
for."-Satire.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
Deserved Protest.

A French newspaper refers to the
members of the stock exchange sing
ing God shave the king" 1--WE must
protest against this total misrepresen-
tation OF our national. aspirations"
observes Punch.
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
He Had an EXCLAMATION,

committee had the state senator
on the carpet.
Didn't you promise If we elected
you to get our country good roads,"
Why. certainly. gentlemen"
Did you do it?"
mo. You see airships are getting
very common now | thought we'd bet
ter wait few years. Maybe we won't
need any roads at all then. Fine
weather for corn: isn't it?"
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
A Glorious Time.

How do you like your new job?"
Great! I'm working In an antique
furniture factory"
What do you do?"
Just what I've wanted to do all my
life. l kick the new tables, put my
feet on them. spill hot coffee and burn
them with cigars and matches. put
each table through 100 years of wear
In eight hours"
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
Prooreaa.

81 see you devote a great deal OF
time explaining the exact operations
Of free trade and protection"
YES" replied Senator Sorghum; 81
have explained It 30 much that hon
estly believe ] am beginning to under
stand II myself"
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24
Nautical Distinctions.

How do you tell the difference be
tween yacht and sailboat?" said
the girl with the inquiring mind.
by lookin' into the pantry" replied
Capt. elect ''If she carries plenty OF
refreshpents and seegars, she's a
yacht. II it's mostly plain victuals
she's a sailboat."
Gilpin observer., 1912-10-24

Mrs Uptown-We're living In a
much better neighborhood now.
Mrs. Downtown-So are we.
Mrs. Up.own-Have you moved.
too?
Mrs. Downtown-No; we're still liv-
Ing on the street you moved away
from.