davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
srANplNe oF rHE oLuBa.
THE SECOND GAME.

Eddie Cicotte was on the mound for
Boston in the wind-up battle and Cicotte
was riddled 30 full Of holes In two in
nings that he looked like a piece OF
schweItzer cheese when he was finally
lifted from the rubber. Pape, who sue
ceeded Cicotte. had his troubles, and he,
too was yanked IN the eighth.
shanks opened the bombardment with
q base on balls. Foster singled. Milan
dumped a safe one to center, scoring
ShankA Schaefer walked, filling the
bases Gandil blasted a beauty through
Gardner, scoring Foster and Milan, and
when Red Walker singled over second
Schaefers counted A sacrifice fly to
Speaker by Mcbride sent In Gandil.
Shanks drew walk and when Gardner
booted Fosters grounder, Walker scored
with the sixth tally.
Boston also made things hot for Groom
IN their half Of the first inning 4 base
on balls, two singles, and a double
well punched sent over three runs.
CicOtte Pounded Hard.
The Nationals drove Cicotte on the
mound In the second. Schaefer singled
TO center. and when Speaker threw poor
ly to Yerkes the Teuton dashed to third.
Red Walker tripled TO the left field
fence, scoring Scaefer and scored him
self on Henry's safety.
Groom blanked the Rex Sox in the
second, but they got to him in the third
for two runs after two had gone, and
in the fourth completed the job by
knocking Sir Robert out Of the box
Long Tom Hughes, who relieved Groom,
was also badly damaged. and six runs
spattered over the plate, placing the hg-
ures Boston II; Washington, g.
Hughes did better until the seventh,
when timely hits by Wagner and Hooper
added what proved to be the winning
run, as Washington scored one point on
Pape, who relieved Cicotts in the third,
in the seventh. and sent him 10 the tall
uncut in the eighth.
One run had been scored against Pape
IN the eighth, when Bedient went in to
pitch. Al Williams, batting for Hughes,
connected for a long sacrifice ny and
scored another.
Boston's eighth terminated when Steve
White pitched two strikes and one ball
to Speaker. the first man up. Umpire
Dineen pulled out his watch, discovered
that Il was nearly Z o'clock, and in the
distant street lights were beginning to
twinkle, so he decided TO send the crowd
and the athletes home. The Boston
bunch was jubilant. What Grin and his
willing workers said cannot be found in
any Sunday school lesson.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
MANY ACCIDENTS
EXPECTED IN RACES
Motor Experts Believe that Death
Will Take Its Toll in Indian
apolis Auto Events.

indianapolis. Ind. May 2s-That death
will take its toll from sport tomorrow.
when the giant racing cars entered for
the 5OO-mile races here pound their way
around the Motor Speedway, is the be-
lief Of automobile experts who are here
to watch the race That II may mean
the finish Of big automobile race events
was the prediction OF some.
The track is slippery from recent rains.
Even a slight shower between now and
the time for the opening OF the race
would keep It in this condition. The
cars racing this year are larger and
faster than any ever before entered. The
time made in the elimination trials indi-
Gates that the big cars will maintain a
speed never before dreamed Of in such
an event Twenty-Five cars. with the
most daring drivers in the country. will
compete
Ali these things, say the motor ex-
perts. threaten many accidents before
the race IS over.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
DIXIE WALKER Is
ORDERED HOME By
MANAGERGRIFFITH
Alabama Beauty Nay Be Suspend
ed Until He Can Get Into
Proper Shape.
KAHoE ORDERED TO SEARCH
spseih 10 - w.shlnrton Hsrald.

SPECIAL to M Washington Herald.
Boston. May 9.-Pitcher Dixie Walker
has been ordered back TO Washington,
and he will not be allowed TO twiri again
for the Nationals until he Is in shape.
Walker leaves tomorrow morning.. and
while Manager Grifith would not discuss
the matter TO any great extent or admit
that he had suspended Walker, yet such
would seem TO be the case.
II was seen in New York last week that
Dixie was not giving the club the best
he had. and to-day's exhibition. when he
was knocked out Of The box, added the
mo man can play ban for me and take
Il as a joke" said Boss Grifnth at the
hotel tonight 7 propose that each ball
player on my club shall at all times give
the Washington club and the Washing
ton public the best he has In him. When
he fails to come across with the goods
he is either traded or released"
Dixie n Disappointment.
Dixie Walker should be the best pitcher
in the world. He has every requisite
speed. curves, and endurance. Thus far
he has been big disappointment to
Manager Grifith, and THE Old Fox has
virtually suspended him until he can
deliver the goods.
Grin will probably give Walker one
more chance 70 show why the Washing
ton baseball club should carry him on
its pay roll II Dixie falls down, he will
without a doubt be semi TO the minors
Scout Mike Kahoe is here tonight and
had a long talk with Grin. Kahoe has
been instructed to search the New Eng
land and Connecticut leagues for pitch
ing talent and to grab any youngster
who looks at all promising. Unless the
Washington pitchers come up TO scratch
before long the club will land at the
bottom OF the American League race
with a sickening thud.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
THREE TEAMS ARB
READY TO PLAY,
SAYS CORNELL
Managers Of Tigers States New
Clubs viii Be Put in the
League at Once.
AWAIT COMMISSION MEETING
BY c. W. SWAN.

Manager George E. Cornell, Of the Cor
nell Tigers. at present the only team IN
the Capital City League. as the Pumpers'
Seaman Gunners, and Navy Yard are
said to have quit. stated yesterday that
the league would go on. as he has. al
ready secured two teams for the circuit
and will put another fast aggregation In
the running at a minutes notice.
The Brentwood club Il one OF the teams
in question. and II IL understood that
Manager Cornell may invite the wash
ington outlaw aggregation. which num-
bers at least Hve men. to Join the circuit.
as It Is fully uniformed and can add a
few more local meh.
But Boss Cornell stated that he would
not get out Of amateur baseball not II
he had 10 take the case to the courts.
- II does seem funny that team can be
scheduled TO play in one league. and then
play. an exhibition game In another cir
cult. This is not fair TO the league that
Il Is dropping out of, II that circuit does
not wish to allow II to 90.
Another question that may be brought
up when the commission meets again Is,
what happens to the players Of the clubs
which leave the Capital City League?
Should the Navy Yard team stick, OF
H-EEE 10 a AAAAt UOpca NAANh --N-AA
ayers LeClair and Cornell can claim the
players Of the Pumping Station. and they
will be forced to stay In the league.
This muddle, for muddle IL Is, will have
TO be solved by the commission at its
next meeting. for. next to the Suburban
League mess Of last year. IL Is the limit
Manager Cornell will send his bunch
against the Bandits Of the outlaw league
this afternoon. and a rattling good game
can be expected. This Is a fast ball
club, and with Frank owen going right.
the Capital City Leaguers will have TO
hustle. The game will be called promptly
at O'Clock.
Ingram and Nativity will clash IN the
Sunday School League at 2 o'clock this
afternoon, the winner going into first
place. Srnithson and Thompson Will be
in the points for the Maps" with Beach
and Hoffman working for the Ingramites
That Ninth Street aggregation Of the
East washington League. looked pretty
good against the Presbyterians yesterday,
little GIL Cassisy on third putting up a
great game.
In the opening session. with two and
two on him, GIL slammed the pill TO left
field for a trip around the circuit. He
also managed to get three more bingles
during the fray.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
CHICAGO TO STICK.

Club Arrives in Richmond for Four
Games.
SPECIAL to The Washington Herald
Richmond. Va. May 2s.-Ths Chicago
United States League club arrived to-
night and will meet the Richmond Rebels
in q morning and afternoon game to-
morrow, also Friday and Saturday. Man
ager Nienson states that reports of the
leagues troubles have been exaggerated
and that the Chicago club is in the fight
to the end.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
bits of Baseball.

The Cincinnati Reds are losing
ground very fast, for the want Of a
strong pitching stan. They have
dropped seven Of their last eight
games.
The American Association has IS
men who are hitting over the 800
mark Carr. Of Kansas City. is the
virtual leader, with an average Of .3s4.
Joe sugden, scout for the Detroit
club, is looking over several of the
Virginia League players. with a view
Of picking up new timber for the De-
troit club.
Catcher Billy KeIly's three-baEEer
in the second inning yesterday was his
first long hit for the Pirates. He made
"a singles before hitting for an extra
base.
Rube Marquard on tn:s years records
Is not only the zenith pitcher OF the I'M
salted baseball seas. but a besrcat with
the bat. He has mscerated the ball to
the extent Of -.
How is it we get all Of cIeveIand's
excess baseball baggagey' asks a ST.
Louis man The Robson Tebeau ag-
gregation came here from Cleveland
in 1899. Jim McAleer came down from
Cleveland to run the American League
team In 1902. Now we are to get the
defunct Cleveland (U. S. Ii team"
A feature OF the campaigns Is that
the Giants and White Sox are ahead on
every series they have played, and that
being 50 no other clubs in either
league are. II generally is the case In
baseball that the strongest clubs meet
with some one OF two particular trou-
blemakers: but no rival has turned Up
yet to spoil the even exhibition OF
strength exhibited by the two pace
makers.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
LOCAL GAMES TO-DAY.

Cornell VS.. outlaws, Capital
City League Park, o'clock.
Bankers vs.. Navy Yard, Amer
lean League Park. o'clock.
ingram VS.. Nativity, Four
teenth and A Streets Northeast,
3 o'clock.
Sherwood VS.. North Carolina,
Fourteenth and A Streets North
east, $3.50 o'clock.
Pepco VS.. Aloysius, Indepen-
dence Field. 9 o'clock.
Manhattan vs.. Lofier, Indepen-
dence Field. IL o'eIoek.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
CLEVELAND TO PLAY.
VIII Face PittsburE in United
states League Series.

SPECIAL To The Washington Herald
Pittsburg. Pa, May 29.-The Cleveland
Orphans will play two games here to-
morrow in the United States League
series, a switch being made to-day as
a result OF New York being definitely
declared out Of the league. Capt. Mar
shall Henderson. OF the Pittsburg club,
said to-day that the New York franchise
probably will be transferred to some
Western town. The whole matter will
be settled at the league meeting here
Sunday.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30

TotAls.......-.. y 7s = Totals.-.--.--.. 50 h- >
'Ted With ST. Louis for last pihce-l3 won. 3 lost
Won, :; lost, 10 AHersEr runs pr game for
NationAls Is; for oppuDentS, "a. Average hits
peT Eanls foe NatioBals. IA for oppooents. 81
Arer1Es sITurs per game for Nationals, IS; foc
oppunsntS. ? 2A
P. S.-Party named Lindley Murray
writes US that our grammar yesterday
was execrabIe when we'uns said our
brave boys done It proper. Shucks, We
uns knew It should have been written
''our brave boys have did it. but the
vernacular for ours, all the time. More
over, Emory Wilson will tell this strange
gent Of our capacity to speak three Ian
guages-English, Frightfully. and Base
ball fiuently.
p. 2. S.-Asked the Amateur Editor
how many pitchers Grin used yester-
day Here is his reply: He only has
one" Wonder what he means?
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
WILD HEAVE LOSES.
St. Louis Loses After Fourteen In
nings to Detroit.

st. Louis, May 9.-The Tigers took
& fourteen-inning game from the Browns
to-day. to 5, when Austin made a
Wild throw. In the last inning Onsiow
singled, and with one out Louden bunt-
ed. Austin heaving over Stovalrs head.
Onslow scoring, and the batter getting
to third. a wild pitch scored Louden
also. The Browns had several chances
to win out when the combat went into
extra innings, but foolish base running
tossed away their opportunity. Score:
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30

TWo-base hits-LeWiA Bradley Pape, bhanks,
Hoouer Three-bass hits-Walkef, Bradley. Hits
made-Oh Cicotte in Is inning; Oh GToou, Il
in ) - innings; of Pspe, Z in Z - innings; on
Hughes 5 in SIS inninRs1 Bases On balls-Oh
Cicotte .; OF Pare. /; cf Groom, ?; Oh Hughes. L
Struck out-By Pape /: by Groom. ); b. Hughes.
l. Sacrifice hits-SchaefCr. ThomAs. Double play
Mcbride to Schaefer 10 Gandil. Wild pitch
Groom Umpires-MessrA PeTrine and Dineen.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30

Runs-Strunk 0ldTing Collins, Baker. ~, Mur-
ply. Barry. zinn. ChEss. Gardner ~. Home run
Murphy. Sacrifice hits-COllins. Murphy. stnen
bAses-Gardner and HartBell double Etelll. Dan
ielA Baker. Double plays-Bany 10 Meinnts;
Chase TO Ford. Bass On blIls-Oh Ford, ?; oi
Coombs. ) struck Out-By Ford. l; By COMBS.
Left bases-PhiIadelphiA. }; Yankees. 5. Cm-
pires-MessFN Evans and EgEn.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
gTANpINa oF THR cLuBa.
ATHLETICS TAKE ONE.
Defeat Yankees in Good Game,
2 TO &.

New York. May 2s.-Rain to-day pre-
vented the second game OF the double
header between the Yanks and Athletics
and forced the calling Of the first game,
which the Athletics won, ! to 4, at the
end Of the sixth inning. coombs, after
the first inning, held the Yanks well in
hand. Despite the fact that he struck
out two men. tumble by McInnis, three
singles and a double steal brought in
three runs in the first session Strunk.
Collins, and Baker starred at the bat.
Score:
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
Burns Beats soIaberE.

New York, May 9-Frankle Burns
ring yizardry was too much for Young
solzberg in a real old-fashioned smuggling
match Of ten rounds at me Royal Ath
letic Club. Brooklyn, tonight. and the
Brooklyn idol was soundly thrashed in >
majority Of the rounds.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
DAST PERFORMANCES
i From i Stahl to Clark Griffith

In the light Of what happened yesteF-
day, the subjoined statistics concerning
the carvings on Of our Awful Athletes
on Decoration Day in years agone are
paraded without compunction.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
MINOR LEAGUE RESULTS.
AMERICAN ASSOCIATION.

At Columbus- -Indianapolis-Columbus ain-
At LOuisyille-TOledo. g. Louisville. ). Called
By agreement at end eighth
At Minneapolis-St. Paul, ); Minneapolis. Z.
At Kansas City-MilWsukse, s: Kansas City, :.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
MAPS TAKE BOTH.
Chicago White Sox Lose Double
header to Cleveland.

Cleveland. Ohio, May 2s-The Maps
took both ends of a double-header from
the White SoX to-day to . and TO o.
In neither combat did the Sox get
smell. In the opener Benz was yanked
in the sixth, after he had been nicked
for six hits, yielding three runs. The
Maps made another tally on Peters via
the sacrifice route. The Sox rallied in
the ninth and copped two runs OF Ksler.
In the second game Blanding allowed
only hve hits and blanked the Sox. For
the first time this season the Maps
played regular baseball. Scores:
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
AMERICAN LEAGUE.

YEsTERDAY's RESULTS.
Boston, III washInEtOn, 8.
Boston, 12I waEhingtOR II.
philadelphia, - New York, 4.
CIeysIand, ~ Chicago, >.
Cleveland, ~ Chicago, O..
= Detroit, - 81. Louis, ..
GAMES TO-DAY.
washinston at Boston.
PhnadeIphiA. At New York.
Chicago at Cleveland.
Detroit At st. LouIu.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30

Runs-ShOttsn, st0valL Pratt. Austin. Knehell.
Louden, Jones q. Cobb Gainor OnsloW, Dubuc-
TNEo-hass hits-GaiDOT. LAporte, Jones' Threebase
hit-Cobb Home run-Pratt Sacrifice hits-Ons-
low. Krchell. Double plays-shottea 20 stoTalI;
MoiArty TO OnslOW: Pratt 10 Wallace 10 StOTall
Jones 70 DelehEnty; Pratt TO Austin; WORKS 10
LOudn 10 Gainor. Passed bAll-OnsloW. Stolen
hases-Shottel e. Austin. M0riarty Hit BY pitched
ball-By Z Brown, StHnAge: by Works, Stoval.
Wild Idtch-C. Brown Bases bAlls-Oh Z.
Brown. ); Od Works, 5: OF Summers. /: OF c.
Brown, /. Struck Out-By Z Brown, l: BY c.
Brown. 4; BY Summers. ); by Works. l. Hits made
on summer, in iHninEs; oH Z Brown, II in
inninEA Len On bases-St. Louis, Il; Detroit 3
Umpires-MesEN OTouEhlin and westerTelL Tine
q gsme-2 hOuB and % minutes.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30

Runs-Zeider. Weaver. Olsen, jackson t9, Bir-
mingham. Left on bases-Chieago. 10: Cleveland, s
Hits mhde-Oh Benz, Z in inningB; on Peters.
in 2 inninES Two-bABe hits-Lord, Ball. Three
base hits-Zeidsr Weaver Sacrifice hits-Lord,
GrgEs. Birmingham, PeckinpGuEh- Stolen bases-
Olsen Jackson. Kaler Double plays-WeayeT to
Rath 20 zeider GrigEs tunassisted). Bases on balls
-Oh Kaler. ); oI Peters. /. Struck out-By Benz
/; by Peters, 2: By KaleT. ). Umpires-Messn Con
molly and Hart Time Of EAme-l hour and %
minutes
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
NATIONAL LEAGUE.
YEsTERDAY's RESULTS.
All Eamss postponed.

GAMES TODAY.
New York at Philadelphia.
Cincinnati At ohieaEo.
81. LouiH At PittsburE.
Boston at BROOKLYN.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
SECONn GAME
Totals-. % 81 Is 4

IOtal8-.... y = -
sBattcd fof Sullivan IN the eighth
tBStted for Moridge IN the eighth.
Chiczgo... y y W
Runs = Graney, Olsen Jackson. Birmingham
BiandinE. Left On bases-Chicago. !; CleIeland.. 6
Hits mdde-O: MoEridge. in innings; on Peters
In inning Threebase hit-Birmingham- Saer-
Zee hits-sunivan GrirEs Ball Adams. Stolen
hases-BirmiuEham. peekinbaugh. Double playz-
Rafh 10 zeider to Lord; Weaver TO RAih to Nei-
der Bases On halls-Of BlandinE. 2; on Mogridge
/; on Peters. L Struck Out-By BlandinG /; BY
MunddEe. . Umpiras-Acssrs. Han and connolly.
Tbns a Clms-i hour End = minutes. Attendnnre
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30

'Battcd for Sullivan In the eighth.
tBStted for Mogridge IN the eighth,
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30

Boston-.---...--......-.s.-.- III
TEo-hzss hits-Ainslith, Gardner. Yerkes. Brad
ley a. Wood Home run-Wagner. Stolen hases-
Speaker. Hooper, Yerkes. Hits-0h T. Walker 2
halls-0d Z. walker. 5: OF Cashion, Struck cut
by Wood. 4: b White. 1; b. Cashion. g. Wld
pifeh-C4shiun; Umpires-MessB. Penine aad
Dineen
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30
REBELS LOSE ONE.

Cincinnati Takes Fast Game in
Outlaw League.
Richmond, Va, May 29.-The Cincin-
natl Pippins captured the last game Of
the series from the Richmond Rebels in
the United States League this afternoon.
s TO I. Batting honoTs were even, the
game being i sessaw affair. Chicago
comes tomorrow for two games, morn
ing and afternoon. Score:
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30

'Batted for z Brown in the ninth.
tBatted for summer in the eighth.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30

IRAN for Wagner.
fBafted for White Do fourth.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30

The American Association has ?
men who are hitting over the 30
mark. Carr, Of Kansas City. is tn
virtual leader, with an average Of 1884
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30

WesteIAIIi Win AnuIHuApuII1l was
once turned back to the western
League. but he signed his second con-
tract after o'Leary took charge.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30

Walter Johnson will pitch the after
noon game tomorrow and viii be
go to his home in Coffeyville for q short
visit and Join the Nationals in ST. Louis.
The Washington herald., 1912-05-30

Totals.......... y 7s TotAls....-.-... IS loe ,
Tied with ST. Louis for last plhce-I3 won. 3 lost
Norwich bulletin., 1912-06-20
ENTIRE CHANGE OF PRoeRAMM E AT THE AUDITORIUM TODAY.

A light, airy bill of comedy is what the Auditorium offers for the last half Of this week, and the popular Audio- rum photoplays combined make up most pleasing entertainment.
 Myhe and Orth present their traves- ty slrit, entitled The Manager, and 1t certainly is a scream. It is an act that fE sure to please.
 Billy Nickerson offers "a little bit of everything" Billy is a clever come dian, a good singer, and a fine dancer, and his clever character portrayals are amusing and entertaining.
 Fitzsimmons and Cameron in their original novelty offering. The Circus Poster and the Country Girl, have an act that Is composed of good clean comedy which goes at the rate of "a laugh g minute"
 This weeks Animated Weekly No. 13 has some exceptionally fine scenes, @ few of them being: Wilbur Wright's Funeral, German War Fleet Leaving Kiel for United States, Cardinal Far ley Dedicating a Church in YonSers, Y. r. c. A. R. Parade in New York, and many others.
 Next Monday and Tuesday will bring No. of the popular 101 Bison films, which is entitled The Outcast. It Is n two reels. Enough said.
Norwich bulletin., 1912-06-20
STONINGTON.
Baptist Union Association Celebrating One Hundred and Fortieth Anni- Versary-Exercises at High School Graduation - Abandoned Schooner Has Been Picked Up.

Wednesday morning at 1O.3O the exercises of the graduating class of the Stonington Grammar school was held in the school hall. The class numbered S7 members. An excellent programme was carried out by the pupils, after which the presentation of diplomas was made by Dr. w. H. Pcrry, superintendent of the Stoning- ron schools. The orchestra rendered many pleasing numbers.
 Going to Europe.
 Dr. w. II. Perry, Mrs. Perry and Mss Harriet Woodward teacher of singing in the StoningtOn school, will De among those who will make d several weeks trip through Europe and part of Canada this summer. They will go to Providence today (Thurs- daY) and will take the steamer from there. They will visit France, Italy, Belgium, Germany and England, re- turning the latter part of the summer, the party will stop at Montreal and visit Lake Champlain
 Stonington Manor Inn was opened Wednesday.
 A base ball game has been ar ranged for Saturday at Stanton's park between the Stoningtons and Potter Hills. The battery for the home team will be Nenumaker and Thack- ley and for the visiting team Parker and Johnson
 Miss Stella Eldredge has returned to Yantic after spending @ few days here.
 Edward Mckinney has left the em- ploy of the public market and will re- side in Manchester, Conn.
Norwich bulletin., 1912-06-20
HUMoR OF THE DAY

Have you a good cook now" T don't know, ! haven't been home since breakfast. f-London Opinion.
 Visitor-Never say die. Boston Boy II commonly refer to the dissolution et the vital fOrces--Judgs,
 "He knows all the best people in town Why doesn't he associate with them, thenT 'They know him Cleveland Leader,
 Chief Clerk tto office boy)-Why eH earth don't you laugh when the bose tells a joke? Office Boy-I don't have to. quit on Saturday Satire,
 Wigwsg-Well, there's no scceust- ing for tastes, Guzzler-Huhi 1 can always account for dark brown enc in the merping. Philadelphia Record.
 Mrs, Knicker-What impressed yeu most in Romeo and Juliet? Mrs. Sub bubs-The fact that Juliet could keep a nurse in what appeared ts be the subuEbs.-Harpers Hazar,
 Mrs. Serappy-Did ren see thia, Iehn? Woman Stunst Can't Talk Puzzles Doctarsi Scraspy- Mar. a Weman's tongue that can't talk wOBld puzzle more than 6octers.-Life.
 Kind Eady-f fou ieek tired. Haa- road Conductor madam. Tm troubled with insomnia Kind i.ady- Poor fellow Why don't they put you on sleeping ear?-Stsnfard Chapsr- ral.
 "Hew's your ssa getting sn ih esiz lege?" Not at all, Every time theF.s are tive men on bases and it's hia turn to bat they heneh him and give a suD- stitute hitter chsnss,"--peYoit sres Press.
 Mrs. Kaler-Cooks are such ignor ant things nowadays. Mrs. Justwed - Aren't they? They can't do the slnl- plest things. I asked mine tO make some sweetbreads the other day and she said she -McCarrs MaRs l zine.
 What is your idea of socialism - asked one statesman. Socialism" re- | piled the other, lis a grab bag fuil of novel ideas of government into which man dives whenever he wants to | start new party."-W Washington Star
 Now that you have become rich. | hope you will not forget the people who were your friends when you were poor" fOh, no, I'll not forget them | The friends a man had when he Was poor never let him do that, however Id may try."-Chicago Record Herald.
 Prizehghter (entering school with his son)-You give this boy O mine a thrashing yesterday, didn't yerl Schoolmaster Every nervous)-Weil--. I-er-perhaps- Prizehghter--Well give US your and: you're a champion I can't do nothin' with i'm myself ] Punch.