The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1912-03-07
MISS DEMOCRACY ENTERTAINED
At THE GRIDIRON CLUB

Iall questions requiring arbitration,
sanitation and illumination" and was
ready to report Here we're some o
the questions and the courts an.
swers:
"Have you looked into the dispute
over universal arbitration
1--WE have"
Everybody favors It, I suppose?"
Everybody but the United States /
Senate"
what is your decision in the dis.
pute between Judson Harmon and
Mr. Bryan"
Mr.. Bryan will allow Mr.. Harmon
to remain in the race on one condi-
ton"
What is that?"
1.-THE condition that Mr.. Harmon
refuses to withdraw"
"Have you settled the row between
, Oscar Underwood and Mr.. Bryan?'
I'VE decided Bryan was infringing
r on a copyright He had no business
+ to try to organize an Ananias Club"
5 The court also decided that the only
j difference between La Toilette and
Cummins was in the fact that there
= is only one center of the state" The
e august tribunal came to grief whe
g asked what it had to say about the
Il rumored struggle between Taft and
). Roosevelt. Each member threw up
r his hands, and walked out without
g saying anything, and when the press
l. agent" Gan essential feature of the
e COURT was appealed to he exclaimed
L in great surprise: "Me? I've got
n nothing to say started It,"
"a 1t remained for the Democratic
Presidential Steeplechase" skit to
bring out the candidates in full force.
A bookmaker appeared with his black
IL board, sheetwriter and other appara.
tus, and announced the entries as fol
lows:
" Here is Woodrow W., sired by jim
=. Smith and damned by Henry Waiter
sen; breezed out well on his last
~ trial, going faster under a hard pull
20 Next is Judson H., an old cam
at paigner, begot by Grover c., famous
sc stake horse and damned by W. J
lg Bryan.
mere is Tom Marshall and ]. w
70 Kern, entered by the Tom Taggart
,g stable from the banks of the Wabash
Id and coupled in the betting.
IN Next is Champ Clark and Governor
ne Folk, entered by the "Show Me-
in stables. The governor has just beef
Id kicked in the paddock by Champ
of coupled in the betting With him, ant
Oh layers can let their money stand .
mt take it down. w. ]. Stone and
IN Reed, both likely boys, will ride
them.
lg Here is William Jennings, who
will be ridden by w. j. Bryan, the
only rider who has ever been able tC
de stick on his back
Next comes Oscar W., little con
ne sentative over the jumps, but a fas
colt; J. Bankhead up.
is Last but not least is Eugene N.
entered inadvertently by Henry Cabo
H. Lodge"
'H The funniest kind of betting fol
lowed, and the horses got away, bu
~ unfortunately the Gridiron Club faileC
to enilghten it's guests as to the iden
tity of the winner, for just as thu
ponies were punched in the home
: stretch in an exciting finish the police
raided the hall and "pinched" thu
bookmaker
Among the guests of the club were
President Taft, Ambassador Bryce
Ambassador Berstoff, Ambassado
Bauhmeteff, Speaker Champ Clark
ex-Speaker Jos. G. Canon, Charles d
he Hilles, secretary to the President
N Postmaster General Hitchcock, Gen
I'D eral John A. Mead, Vermont; Norman
,lv e. Mack, chairman Democratic Ma
m tional committees; Secretary Charlie
DIS Nagel, DR.. Paul Ritter, Swiss minis
en- ter; Associate Justice Willis Va
Devanter Assistant Secretary of tn
1w Navy Beekman Winthrop, many Sena
tors and Representatives, attaches O
an foreign legations, correspondents, etc