davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
NEVER SATISFIED.

Rain, rain, rain. drop, drip. drop!
Is 1t Noah's food? viii IL never stop?
Wish II would get dry once more!
My, but rains an awful bore!
Boo. hoo. hoo. this awful rain!
Hope it never rains again,
Dry. dry, dry. oh, the cloud Of dust!
If IL doesn't rain something's sure to bust.
Cod. send down a waterspout.
I'm dried up inside and out.
Let 'er flicker, Let e. pour!
Let 'er rain forevermore!
Cold, cold, cold-way below zero!
Is this awful winter never going to go2
Wish hot summer days were mere!
| shall freeze to death, / fear!
Thunder. what a big coal G.Ii,
Hurry, Nv another chill
Hot, hot, hot! Amt II awful hot?
Where on earth is there a nice cool spot!
Take me up TO COOKS north pole.
Drop me down "a deep ice hole.
Rush us winter! Rush IL now.
Wow. WOW. WOW!
C. NJ. BARNITZ
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
The Real Old Article.

The stranger In Boston was inter
ested In the old family anne Of thai
city. He bore a strong letter of In
PRODUCTION TO a prominent townsman
II can give you from memory the
names of all the old families of ouI
city," the prominent townsman said
and he ratified Off two or three dozens
at an amazing rate.
The stranger looked up from bis
copy pad expectantly.
sis that all." he asked.
II have given you a complete list OF
Boston's leading families" the promi
nent townsman replied. Not one OF
them dates back less than six genera.
TONS"
The stranger stared.
"But surely you have other old fam.
lilies Of note In Boston,
Merely transients." icily replied the
Boston Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
SYSTEM NEEDED FOR FAR
Fl OCkS

Uncle Sans chief poultry asset i
the farm flock, and some goyernmcn
smart aleck gives it a knock by say
Ing that the average farm hen Ia.
but sixty eggs per year.
If nothing good came out Of Ma
areth, how about poultry statistic.
from Washington? The farm BidG-
does a better egg stunt-accurate e.
records from Uncle Sans 5,000.CI
farm flocks will prove it-but if til
farm hen on some farms does ~
reach her maximum it is not general
because she is a mongrel mutt. but be
cause of lack of system.
By system we do not refer to tht
gold brick bonanza books. by whicl
one is able to become rich quick iron.
four hens on a lot 6 by 10, but w
speak of scientific, sensible. natura
methods. by the application of which
flock pays, and pays the maximum.
On many farms there are no specia
breeding pens, where the best produc
ers are penned TO beget their kind. but
eggs for Matching are taken from the
general flock. These focks often con
sist Of old and young. mature and i'm
mature fowls. BY such a hit or miss
method a strain from best. layers can.
not be built up. With no selection
there can be no improvement. With
a mixed up flock one cannot expect
but their like. Stamina. egg produc.
ton, uniform bonton market carcass.
come from selected thoroughbred breed
ers bred straight.
On some farms all the eggs are not
found on the day laid. Hens lay in
any old place; hence the bad reputa-
ton of the haymow egg and the SLAM
der that farmers by careless nesting
and handling the rots and spots
We are not knocking the farmer here
but simply say that some farmers
should control their hens better
should have better nesting facilities,
for tons of eggs are lost in hidden
nests. and many are spoiled for table
and Matching because they lie in the
heat. Some farmers still stick to corr
the year around. This is not egg
food. but fattener and not the best
fattener at that.
There is need for the study of con.
tent tables and formulation Of feeds
to suit the needs Of the fowl for the
purpose in view, 81 that fowls may
be finely finished for market or winter
eggs may be more plentiful on some
farms.
AS to housing, there is general I'M
provement in poultry house construc-
ton. Some farmers have yet to learn
that a henhouse is not just for roost-
ing. but that 1t should be a light. dry,
clean. roomy. comfortable. well venti-
lated hen home. a place for sleeping.
summing. busting. eating and exercis-
Ing to bring those high priced winter
eggs and with the yards a comforta-
BILE place of confinement for hens
while crops are growing.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
TOOK HIM AT HIS WORD.
He Was Willing to Stand For a Dollar
and He Did.

He Was Willing to Stand For a Dollar.
and He Did.
1t was $50. and the theater was
crowded.
"What have you left?' a prospective
purchaser inquired of the treasurer.
How many, STRIP the treasurer
asked.
Two
81 have two left in the twelfth row."
the treasurer said. taking the tickets
from the rack. They're the last two
seats / have In the house,
"How muchT" the other asked eau.
tiously.
'Two dollars. was the reply.
"Two dollars!' the patron repeated.
II can't stand for that"
"Well. will you stand for a dollarY'
the ticket dispenser inquired.
Gladly the other cried. seeming a
bargain and laying a dollar on the
ledge.
The treasurer replaced the two
tickets In his rack and handed out
two others after placing the bill in his
cash drawer.
'"There they are. sir" he said
First door to your right"
The man and his friend hurried in
side and stood" for a dollar. The
willy treasurer. taking him at his word.
had sold him two admission tickets
Lippincott's.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
Hitting the Doctor.

AS today. in the days gone by the
doctors were made the target Of the
TESTERS fling.
Pausanias. the Spartan general,
when asked by a physician how II
was that he was never i'll. exultingly
answered, Because | never consult
you"
At another time Pausanias said that
the best physician was the one who
dispatched his patients with the least
possible suffering.
P%ausanias. strongly disappearing of
a certain physician and his methods
and berating him in nc mild terms,
was asked by a friend how. as be had
never consulted that particular doctor.
he could be so sure of his statements.
Pausanias answered. ''Well. had | con-
suited him would | be living todayy'
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
ARABIAN coURTsHIP.
Sworn Secrecy EnveIops the Wooing
and Winning of the Girl.

anu "tuUtHS W W aiEs
An Arab loves as none but an Arab
can love. but he Is also nightly excit-
able and easily won. An Arab sees a
girl bearing water or ~brushwood and
In a moment. almost at a glance. is as
madly In love as IL he had passed
years Of courtshlp. He thinks of moth
ing else, cares and dreams Of nothing
else but the girl he loves, and not in
frequently. IL he is disappointed In his
affection, he pines and dies. In order
to commence his suit he sends for a
member OF the girls tribe and, first
insuring his secrecy by n solemn oath,
confesses his love and entreats his con
fdant TO arrange an interview.
The confidant goes TO the girl. gives
her a flower or a blade OF grass and
says:
Swear by him who made this flower
and us also that you will not reveal
TO any one that which ! am about 10
unfold to you"
If the girl will not accept the pro
posal she will not take the oath, but
nevertheless keeps the matter per
pectly secret from all. If she is favor
ably disposed to the match she an
swers:
Il swear by him who made the low
er you hold and Us" and the place and
time Of meeting are settled These
oaths afs never broken. and it is not
long before the ardent lover becomes
the happy husband.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
ceIdsmith,s Obituary Notice,

1t would be difficult to find a more
quaint announcement Of death than
that published in an old newspaper In
i774, at the time Of Oliver Goldsmith's
demise.
"1774. April 4. Died. DR.. Oliver
Goldsmith Deserted Is the village,
The traveller hath laid him down to
rest; the good natured man is no
more; he stoopse but to conquer; the
vicar hath performed his sad office;
1t Is a mournful task from which
the hermit may essay to meet the
dread tyrant with more than Grecian
Of Roman fortitude."
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04

A remarkably brief, effective sum
ming up was once quoted by Lord
James in an after dinner speech. II
was delivered by an Irish judge trying
a man for pig stealing. The evidence
Of his guilt was conclusive. but the
prisoner insisted on calling a number
Of witnesses, who testified most em-
~phatically to his general good character.
After hearing their evidence and the
counsel's speeches the indge remarked.
Gentlemen of the jury. l think that
the only conclusion you raj arrive at Is
that the pig was stolen by the prisoner
and that he is the most amiable man
In the counSy."-Lordon Chronicle.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
A Summer Without Niahts.

To the summer visitor in Sweden
there is nothing more striking than
the almost total absence Of night. At
Stockholm. the Swedish capital. the sun
goes down a few minutes before 10
o'clock and rises again four hours
later during a greater part Of the month
Of June. Rut the four hours the sun
lies hidden In the frozen north are not
hours OF darkness. The refraction of
his rays as he passes around the north
pole makes midnight as light as a
cloudy midday and enables one to read
the finest print without artificial light
at any time during the might"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
cooPs.

The exhibitor Mt shows and fairs
generally finds show coOps necessary.
as some Of these do not coop the birds.
and II one can show fowls I'm his own
cages he can make them more attrac-
tive. They are not IN danger of con-
tracing disease and vermin from old
coops. They may also he shipl"d in
their W cOops and thus will not be
handled by strangers. They are ueed-
ed for training show birds, to accus-
tom them to confinement at shows. for
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
FEATHERS AND EeGsHELLs.

A great enemy to English poultry is
the rock, whose relative, the crow,
keeps up the family reputation in this
country. The crow is death on eggs,
young turkeys and chicks. Now, if
you don't believe this don't curtain
the turkeys nest in the wood with pine
boughs and watch how quick Jim Crow
gobbles the eggs.
The summer school for instruction
in poultry culture at the Connecticut
Agricultural college, Storrs. Conn,
was held this year from July 5 to
July %. This college offered the first
summer course in 1909, and the move
ment was a success from the start.
The charge is nominal.
After extended experiments the Ore
gon agricultural station advises that
it is not profitable to keep the large
breeds for eggs. They do take longer
to come to laying maturity and are GER
tainly greater hatchers than Leghorns,
but some strains Of Langshans are
wonderful layers, and for capons the
Brahma can't be beat.
"A kIlcuu WIllcS u5, uldh L hidht
much on my chickens this year, but
I've got my health back, thank God"
We print that cheering line for those
who are respondent over poor health,
who feel the wear and tear of life's
treadmill. Get out into the sweet. pure
country air. friend. Get into the sun
shine. Get close to nature. That's the
best tonic to take.
Bacteria not only enter the egg IL
exposed after laying. but may easily
enter the egg in the process of forma-
ton, as the oviduct of the hen has a
free opening at its upper end to the
peritoneal cavity and at the terminal
opens into the %cloaca, where the intes-
tine and kidneys empty. Bacteria
may easily enter both Of these pas
sages and get mixed in the egg ron
tents.
A story from California Of n
wealthy widow who believed in the
TRANSPORTATION Of souls and concluded
that her husbands soul had entered
into a bantam rooster. On her death
she directed the servants to a well
Tor their master the bantam) and will
ed him her estate. The relatives had
an Indignation meeting and were dis
cussing a contest Of the will when the
nearest Of kin simply took that ban
tam. wrung Its neck and inherited the
whole property quick as a wink.
n
V. MTaDcrMk.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
The Low Affairs of Handel.

Women greatly admired Handel
who was very handsC ne. but the
serenity of the composer seems only
to have been rufiled twice by love on
his part. His first attachment was to
a London girl, a member of the arts
tocracy. Her parents believed him
beneath her in social position. but were
good enough to say that If he alb
stained from writing any more music
the question of marriage might be en-.
tertained. Ii was easier to abstain
from their daughter than from his art.
and he did SO. Years after almost the
same thing occurred. Handel and an
other beautiful pupil of his fell in love
with each other. aud proud parents
gave him the choice between giving
up his profession or their daughter.
Music. heavenly maid," was chosen
'The Love Affairs Of Some Famous
Men,"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
Something 70 Show

"Do you mevn to tell me-" demanded
Mr.. Sillicus angrily. shat you actually
ordered $40 worth Of groceries Of a to
tai stranger at prices less than any
wholesale dealer can buy them and
paid for them In advance?"
Eyes, that's what I said" replied his
better half.
"And you hadn't ems enough to see
that It was a barefaced swindlew
xoared Sillicus. well, your moneys
gone now. and you have nothing to
show fer It,"
why. yes. l have, john" said his
wife. II have the mans receipt for
the money" Lippincott's.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04

An English farmer Ind a Dumber Of
guests to dinner and WAS about to help
them to some rabbit when he discov-
cred that the dish was cold. Ceiling
the servant. he exclaimed. Here.
Mary. take this rabbit ont and eat II
and bring u hack a little 'otterr
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04

Poetical Lady Is there anything OF
earth that you long for at times with a
great yearning?
Mere Man-Yes. there is. When 1
draw two cards to three aces there is
one spot that | vearn for with all my
But the lady bad left him.-Toledo
Blade. =
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04

drying off after washing and for the
confinement of the finished bird till
date Of show.
At some plants where show birds
are sold there is an exhibition room
lined with coops, where specimens are
shown off before prospective buyers.
The buyer thus may inspect fowls at
close range, and the seller can have
some birds always trained and condi-
toned and is more apt to make a sale.
There are many good coops on the
market, and we present an old and
new style for inspection
The old style coop is generally Gov
cred with muslin, except floor and
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04

According to tests made In France.
dead leaves possess a high value as
fertilizers. They are extensively used
by the market gardeners about the
city Of Nantes. Pear leaves have the
highest quantity Of aitrogenous. oak
leaves come next. and the leaves Of
vines stand lowest in value.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
Not Her Fault.

The mistress comes home without
warning. she finds the maid In gala
attire.
"Why. what do yor mean." she cries.
by wearing my best black skirt?"
1T is not my fault" replies The maid.
"Madam locked up all . coIored
ones."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
Put on His Guard.

Little Brother ,who has just been
given some candy)-lf | were you !
shouldn't take sister yachting this aft
ernoon. Ardent Suitor-Why do you
say that? Little Brother Well. 1
heard her tell mother this morning
that she feared she'd have to throw
you over.-Exchange.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04

What has become of the meer-
schaum piper inquired an inveterate
smoker.
swell, my dear" his wife replied. lit
was getting awfulIy discolored, so 1
gave 1t a Goa Of white enamel. and
It is not quite dry yeti"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04

The destructive Philippine volcanoes
have value for one thing at least.
says a writer In the Pacific Monthly.
They are directly responsible for the
finest hemp producing area In the
world. Hemp thrives in Q soil heavily
impregnated with volcanic ash.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
A Bio JOS.

''That is old Jed wombat, our oldest
lnhabitant.r
why doesn't be get his whiskers
frimmedY'
"Well, he does start a decker with
the barber every winter, but they amt
never been able to reach no agreement
yet."-Washington Herald.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
NEW STYLE SHOW O O

front, and is Objectionable for its drop
door, which is hard on fingers and
feathers. The new style opens full
height. the wide door makes it easy
to clean and to remove bird, and hard
wood Stats put no rust on the plumage
and are close, so fowls cannot put their
heads through. The front, top and
back are hinged for folding. and the
back is double, so that it may be made
slat or solid. as is necessary.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04

Wnlie-Dh the doctor make Won
take nasty medicine when You were
sick2 Freddie-No. II was father who
made me take u. Exchange.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04

Hub-Reckless and extravagant--If
When did ] ever make a useless pur-
chaser Wife-Why, there's that nre
extinguisher you bought a year ago!
We've nev used It oncel
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04
He Share.

How do you propose to support my
daughter, young many"
"Rnt. sir. | was only proposing to
marrv her."- Exchange.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1912-01-04

ITS hard 70 collect money nova.
days."
'*Besn trying 20 collect somef.
mo. oh, no! But a lot OF people
have been trying to collect from me-"
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1912-01-02
World Movements.

The decision of the United States t.
abrogate the Russian treaty because
it is so construed as to discriminate
against American citizens of the Jew
ish faith, has encouraged a protest
in England against the Anglo-Russiar
treaty on similar grounds.
The incident is Illuminating in
showing how sensitive public opinion
is throughout the world to any dis.
turbance anywhere, so that local hap.
penings become world movements.
The discontent aroused in England
by the American stand for decency in
the Russian treaty is due to the same
international sensitiveness that has
given Turkey and Persia constitutions.
Russia a duma, Mexico a representa-.
tive president, and China a new gov.
eminent.
The twentieth century is developing
unified world public opinion. Kan.
sas City Star.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1912-01-02
HOUSTON MARKET REVIEW

Houston, Texas, Jan. 1.-The New
Year season brought the usual holiday
rush In the Houston produce marke.
all lines of table Injuries being de
pleted by the last weekend. The new
week will bring refilllng of all de-
pleted lines, followed by general rest
throughout the row. Not a great bust
ness is looked for after the first of the
year and interests that supply the
produce markets will do well to with
hold receipts over the week, pending
readjustment OF the general market.
The market is well supplied with all
kinds of fruit and vegetables. Tur-
keys are in little less supply, which
firms the prices at HOBO. The chick
en- market is very poor on account of
the rain. Fresh egg receipts practic-
ally are nothing and quotations range
from 33@35c.
A feature OF the new week in the
produce market will be the arrival OF
the first seed potatoes, now en- route.
The supply is coming from Maine and
Is said to be Of good quality. Toma-
toes are coming from Cuba.
The recent rains appear to have
been general throughout the South.
In many localities 1t was quite heavy,
interfering with the gathering of the
remainder Of the cotton crop. The
movement OF cotton continues liberal.
according to advices received by the
Houston cotton exchange from con-
centration points.
With the coming of the new year
and the passing of the holiday season !!
business has taken on a slow tone In.
ventories are going on quite generally,
which are showing much carried over
stock on account OF the unreasonable
weather for Christmas. The trade re
ports good movement in rubber
goods.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1912-01-02
STEEL MILLS RESUME

Pittsburgh, Pa, Jan. MANY stee
mill furnaces that have been idle since
last May were started up today, and
from a rate Of rs per cent of maximum
capacity month ago the steel indus.
try Is today running at 80 per cent OF
maximum.
Owing to the great demand for steel
the usual elght-day holiday vacation
was cut down to two days. Christmas
and New Years, Orders that were
issued a month ago for the banking
of merchant pig iron furnaces over the
holidays were rescinded and pig iron
production was maintained at the full
rate during the holiday season.
Bryan daily eagle and pilot. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1909-1918, 1912-01-02
Farmers Attend School.

Lexington, KY, Jan. 2.-Scores O.
progressive farmers and stock raisers
left their homes In various parts Of
the state today with Lexington as
their destination, and at noon today
began to arrive on every train, all pre-
pared to attend the annual institute
at the State College of Agriculture
one Of the principal events of the year
in Kentucky agricultural circles. Dur.
ing the week there will be conven-
tions of breeders OF dairy and beef
cattle. swine, sheep and horses, to.
gether with exhibitions and daily lee.
lures OF special interest to the corn
growers, dairymen and horticulturists.