davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-11-16
Herald Want Ads
Bring Results
Try One and Be CoaVlaeed
Lard Is a pure,

to explain Starfish are shells"
Christmas trees were formerly a
crude vegetable substance Today
they are assessed ar 10 percent as -@un-
enumerated unmanufactured articles"
Statutes Of the kind used by churches
and religious orders are free OF duty
if OF marble, stone, alabastar, OF met
al If OF wood, however, they pay s.
percent as manufactures of wood"
There are many other curiOsities in
the same line based upon trade terms
and understandings which, rather
than scientific definition, govern de-
cisiOns in such matters. One Of TIE
oldest of them relates to kind OF
holy water, highly esteemed, which
is imported in considerable quantities.
being derived from a spring at Lour-
des. True believers take IL internally
in small amounts. like medicine for
its supposed miraculous healing effect
One might imagine that it would be
admitted at "A cents a gallon as min
eral water, but not 50. 1t comes in
free as a crude mineral"
Rene Bache-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-11-16

ter that makes a good deal of differ
ence to the customs receipts, ana
which incidentally protects the Amerl-
can fowl against cheap foreign com
petition. Ducks likewise are not
birds under the rules of the treasury
department, and importers of their
eggs must pay cents a dozen for the
privilege of bringing them in
Regulations of this kind are some
what complicated. Thus geese are
poultry and dutiable as such, where
as swans are free as water FOWL
The little chicks and ducklings, killed
when two weeks old, stuffed with
cotton wired TO keep them in shape,
and imported from Japan by millions
for the eastern market were formerly
toys" and paid IS percent ad Valorem-
Now, however, they are sJuIIeu
birds. not for millinery use and come
in free. Live frogs are fowls under
the customs rules, and pay cents
pound. Frogs legs are dressed poul-
try and are assessed at cents a
pound. This is a case OF what IS
called classification by simlhtude-
Frogs legs are fried like chicken and
taste like chicken; therefore they are
chicken in the eye Of the treasury.
Five Birds the Limit.
Five birds Cor less number) are
baggage" and as such may be
brought into the country With out
special permit. But If is necessary to
obtain a permit from the department
Of agriculture for the Importation OF
live feathered creatures in larger num-
bers. excepting only canaries and par
rots, which are admitted without re-
striction. During the last year there
were brought into the United states,
under permit. 1920 caneries, 1888
pheasants. 6507 European patridges,
1894 miscellaneous game birds, and
1887 miscellaneous nOngame birds.
In addition. there were 24,31S birds re-
quiring. no permits, these being mainly
parrots.
Of the pheasants. 1895 were Eng
1ish "ringnecks." imported for stock
ing game preserves. The other pleas
ants. including two of the rare Argus
species from Java. were for avarles
chiefly. Which remark applies also
to five greater birds OF paradise
the first living individuals Of this spe-
cies ever brought to America With
in the last few years it has become
the fashion of wealthy people to main
tain aviaries filled with rare and beau
tiful birds gathered from various parts
of the world: and the estates Of our
multimillionaires are being stocked
with fancy water fowl from other
lands, such as the Mandarin duck.
which lend attractive ornament and
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-11-16

climate multiply rapidly and invade
the fields Of sugar cane Supposlng
such a thing to happen, it might sert-
Ously cOmplicate the labor problem
because the work OF harvesting the
cane would be rendered dangerous
A decision recently made by the
treasury is that a rail of steel is not
necessarily a steel rail at all 1t was
discovered that certain importers were
bringing into this country the finest
kind Of high speed steel made up into
the form Of rails, in order to reduce
the duty to q low figure 1t was, in
other words, a fraud. But the matter
has been settled by a ruling that
such rails are not rails They may
be imported but must pay in accord
ance with the quality Of the material
Of which they are composed
some Other Things Barred.
Under the rulings of the treasury
department. soaps in the form OF ap-
pies. pears. or peaches are artificial
fruits The grease paints and nose
paste" used by actors are not toilet
preparations, but paints and colOrs.
articles" though why nobody is able
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-11-16
Sikeston, Mo-
fered everything.

have an operation. would not listen 70
that, and when friend of my husband
told him about Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound and what it had done
for his wife, I was willing to take it.
Now I look the picture Of health and feel
ike It, too. I can do my own hOusework,
hoe my garden, and milk a COW. I can
entertain company and enjoy them. /
can visit when I choose, and walk as far
as any ordinary woman, any day IN the
month. / wish I could talk to every
suffering woman and girl. Mrs. DEAlA
BETHUJE, Sikeston, No.
Murrayville, Il.-''I have taken Ly-
Ciia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
for a very bad case of female trouble
and It made me a well woman. Ny
health was all broken down, the doctors
said I must have an operation, and / was
ready to go to the hospital, but dreadedit
so that I began taking your Compound
/ got along so well that I gave up the
doctors and was saved from the opera
ion. - Mrs. CHARLES MOORE R. R.
No. 8, MurrayVille, Ill
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-11-16

~ ? ASHINGTON, d. c., Nov. 16.-
N Absinthe, that much adver-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-11-16
FOR FUDGE

Distributes as fOlIowss
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-11-16
WOMEN SHOULD
Be PROTECTED
Against So Many Surgical OPP
erations. How Mrs. Bethune
and Mrs. Moore Escaped.

[ vas in bed for four
or five days at a time
every month, and so
weak I could hardly
walk. Icramped and
had backache and
headache, and was
so nervous and weak
that I dreaded TO see
or have any
onemovein thereon.
The doctors gave me
medicine to ease ne
said that I ought to
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-11-16
RENE BACHE's BUDGET
BAN IS PUT ON MANY
THINGS BY UNCLE SAM
OTHER THINGS BESIDES ABsINTHE NOT AL
LOWED TO BE IMPORTED.

Prize Fight Films and Lottery Tickets MOngOOses and
Malta Goats Flying Foxes and Eggs of Game Birds.
Likewise Smoking Opium Exclusion Of Which
Is Building Up a New and Destructive In
dustry-When Birds Are Baggage"
and Soap Is Called 'Fruit"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06

affect our future relationship This
was the thought that sSsayed and mas.
tered me. had pledged myself to
avoid him. and indeed had used every
means possible to that end The time
was none too long. yet my mind once
thoroughly settled as to my duty to
her. became calm again. and conf.
dent in the outcome. When Cation
entered. flushed and visibiy excited
from what had evidently proven an ac-
rimonious controversy. ! greeted him
with a smile
You appear TO have experienced diff
faculties In regard to details" | sale
cuiiously
There was much unnecessary talk.
he admitted. but matters have been
at last arranged 10 the satisfaction Of
all concerned. You are to meet at
once. In the rear Of the big tobacco
shed. a spot entirely removed from OBJ
seryation. have been compelled to
accept pistols as the weapons, as we
have nothing else here at all suitable
for the purpose--cavalry sabers being
far too cumbersome. Lieutenant Starr
chances to possess two derringers ex-
actly alike which we have mutually
agreed upon ! hope this is satisfac-
tory to you. Wayne?"
II am not precisely an expert. but
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06

that does not greatly matter, Who acts
for Brennan"
Captain Moorebouse. rather against
his. viii. think"
Very well Cation, am perfectly
satisfied. and am indeed. greatly
Obliged to you; yet before we go out
/ desire to speak a word or two with
the utmost frankness" | stood facing
him, my hand resting lightly upon
the writing table. my eyes reading his
expressive face AS my second wish
you to comprehend fully my actions.
and the motives that inspire them II
they are in any way unsatisfactory to
your mind you may feel at perfect lib.
erty to withhold your services / am
now. and always have been, opposed
to dueling: | believe 1t wrong in prn,
ciple, and a trayesty anon justice: but
il is Q custom OF the South, a require.
meut among officers of our army. and
after what has just occurred betwe cen
Major Brennan and myself | cannot
houorably refuse any longer to so out
Major Brennan has deliberately placed
me in position where ! cannot avoid
meeting him without losing all stand.
ing in my corps sought To escape.
hut was prevented by accident: now
| simply yield TO the inevitable /
feel confident you viii not misconstrue
these words, you surely know me suf-
ficiently we'll so as not TO attribute
them TO cowardice ! shall face him ex
actly in accordance with your ar
rangemepts, asking nothing upon my
part, yielding him every satisfaction
he can possibly desire--but shall
IRE in the air"
He stared at me incredulously. his
face perfect picture of amazement.
" hut, Wayne" he stammered. are you
aware that Major Brennan is an ex.
pert with the piStol9 that he holds the
Sixth Corps trophy? DO you realize
that he goes out deliberately intending
to kill you9"
Il was not posted as to the FIRST fact
you mention, bur have never enter
tanned the slightest doubt as to the
other However. they do not in the
least affect my decision Yet ! do not
: 9sire you 20 suppose that ! am at all
qu.kotic in teis-there is personal
reason why am perfectly willing to
risk my lie rather than lnjure Major
Brennan
His troubled eyes studied me intent
", and then his face suddenly bright
ened with a new thought. Wayne"
he asked placing his hand upon my
arm Familiarity, lis It Mrs Brennan ="
For an instant I hesUsted. but his
manly honest countenance treasured
me. Between MS only. Il is. an.
/ swered gravely. but not the slightest
blame attaches TO her"
= do not wholly understand he
said al last yet do not doubt you
may be perfectly right In your de-
cision He extended his hand i'm
puisively. Il know you to be a good
soldier and true gentleman; I will
stand by you. Wayne. but pledge this
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06
They May Give Away Their Money,
out Never Themselves. Says
G K. Chesterton.

There arc Two other odd and rather
mportan, things to be said about
them The FIRST is this That with
this aristoeracy we do not have the
chance OF lucky variety in types
which belongs TO larger and looser
missionaries The moderately rich
include all kinds of people-even
good people Even priests are some
times saints; End even soldiers are
sometimes heroes Some doctors have
really grown wealthy by curing their
patients and not by fiattering them;
some brewers have been known TO
sell beer But among the very rich
YOU Will never find = really generous
man. even By accident They may
give their money away. but they will
never give themselves away; they are
egotistic. sscretive. dry S old bones
To be smart enough to get all that
money. you must be duh enough 10
want it
Lastly. the most serious point about
them is this That the new miser Is
battered for his meanness and the
old one never vas Ii was never
called self-denial in the old miser that
he lived on beans Il is called self
denial in the new millionaire II ne
lives on beans. A man Ike Dancer
Was never praise as Christian
saint for going in rags. man like
Rockefeller is praised as sort OF
?asan stole for his early rising or bis
uu,,SSs,n,fns arns HIS simple
meals. his simple" clothes. bis
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06
EtZLRzDHc1Z1zZ2zER5ZzzX ZC7HZOX

If he takes advantage treacherous-
ly. and you fall (as God forbid) / will
face his myself: and when do. there
will be no firing in the air
! do not remember that we spoke.
save once, while we passed out
through the orchard field where the
big tobacco shed stood Not until we
turned the eoI1er of the great ram.
shackle building. which in other and
more prosperous days had been dedi-
Gated to the curing of the leaf. did
we perceive any signs of the presence
Of our antagonists They were stand
ing upon the further side, directly OPP
posite the door. and both bowed slight.
ly as xe approached. The Captain
came toward US slowly.
1t is to be greatly regretted. gen.
tlemen. he said, with ceremonious po-
likeness, that we have no surgeon
with us. However, neither contestant
has any advantage in this respect.
Lieutenant Cation. may ask if the ar
rangements as already completed have
proven satisfactory to your princi.
pal?7
Entirely so"
Then if you will kindly step this
way a moment we will confer as to
certain details"
Brennan was leaning in negligent
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06

attitude against the side of the build.
ing. his eyes fastened upon the ground.
the blue smoke of cigar curled laz-
lily above his head. | glanced toward
him. and then sought to amuse myself
watching the queer antics OF a gray
squirrel on the fence rail beyond
felt no desire for further thought, ouy
an intense anxiety for them to hurry
the preliminaries. and have the affair
settled as speedily as possible was
aroused by Moorehouse's rather nasal
voice
Gentlemen. will you please take
your positions Major Brennan. you
viii stand three PAGES to the right
of that sapIing. facing directly south
Captain Wayne, kindly walk straight
west from the shed door until you
come opposite the Majors position "
! noted brennan throw away the
stump OF his cigar. and then | walked
slowly forward until reached the
point assigned me. My heart was beat.
ing fast new. for fully realized the
probabilities of the next few minutes.
and felt little doubt that serious in
jury, if not death. was to be my por-
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06
INCREASE IN NUMBER
OF AMERICANS
GOING TO CANADA

Although Western Canada suffered,
as did many other portions Of the
west, from untoward conditions, which
turned one of the most promising
crops ever seen in that country, into
but little more than an average yield
of all grains, there is left in the
farmers hands, a big margin Of profit.
OF course there were many farmers
who were fortunate enough TO harvest
and market a big yield. and with the
prices that were secured made hand
some returns. From wheat, oats, bar
ley and fax marketed TO the LIST Of
January, 1912, there was a gross rev.
enue of S75,3S4.000. The cattle, hogs,
poultry and dairy proceeds brought
this up to s1O1 $4,000 or q million
dollars in excess of 1910. There was
still in the farmers hands at that
time about 50 million bushels of wheat
worth at least another sixty-fye mil
lion dollars following for inferior
grades, besides about 100 million
bushels of oats to say nothing of bar
ley and fax, which would run into sew
eral million of dollars.
There is great thrush of settlers
to occupy the vacant lands through
out Manitoba, Saskatchewan and Al
berta. The reports from the Govern
ment show that during the past year
upwards of 131, 900 Americans crossed
the border into Canada. A great many
of these took up farms, over ten thou
sand having homesteaded. in Fact the
records show that every state IN TIE
Union contributed. A larger number
not caring to go so far away as the
demonstrating area, have purchased
lands at from fifteen dollars an acre
to twenty-five dollars an acre. The
prospects for a good crop for 1919
are as satisfactory as for many years.
The land has had sufficient moisture
and with reasonably early spring, 1t
is safe to predict a record crop.
Those who have not had the latest
literature sent out by the Government
agents should send to The one nearest,
and secure a copy.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06
rhaekeray,s FIRST Pesm.

Thackersy's momentous first appeaf
sRce in print was a satirical poem.
published in the Western Luminary
during one Of the happy holiday times
which he spent in Devonshire when
still a scholar ak ias Cnarterho9se A
certain Mr. LaIor she'll vas to have
delivered a speech upon Penendon
Heath. but the crowd refused to hear
him. lie had taken the precaution.
however. to send copies OF his intend
ed GRAFTON 70 all the leading journals
before leaving town. and these. OF
course. printed it. The tudicrous inch
dent inspired ThackegRy to write 5
little ieu desprit, entitled Irish AIel.
ody telling how Mister Smell. whec
the Blen Of Kent began grexloas
shouting. round comfof1 Ia FeHeeting
My speech Is safe in tae Times
wot.
And eks in the Morning Chronicle
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06

The story opens in a Confederate tent
Ht a critical stage Of the Civil War. Gen.
Lee imparts to Capt Wayne an important
message TO LongstTeet- Accompanying oy
Bergt Craig an old army scout. wayne
starts on his mission. They get WITHIN
the lines Of the enemy and ~ the oare-
ness Wayne Is taken for Federal OF
hcer and a young lady on horseback y
given IN his charge. She is northeiE
Rirl and attempts 10 escape one OF tns
horses succumbs and Craig goes tnrolkt-
with the dispa tches. while Wayne ana ady
Lady OF the North are left alone Ihe1
seek shelter IN hut and entering II "a
the dark huge maatiN attacks WayhS
The girl shoots the brute just IN time,
The owner OF the hut. Jed Bungay. aiia
his wife appear and soon a party OF
horEemen approach They are led py a
man claiming TO be Red Lowrie. bot VINO
proves TO be MAI Brennan. fedefhi
oincer whom the Union girl recognizes.
He orders the arrest 0f WAYNE as g spy
and he IS brought before Sheridan. VINO
Threatens him with death unless ne re-
yeals the secret message. WAYNE bejeVea
Edifh Brennan to be the wife Of MAJ
brennan He Is rescued nv Jed BungaY
VINO starts 20 reach Cen. Lee. While
wayne In disguise penetrates 70 the bau~
room beneath which he had been i'm
pri6oned. He IL Introduced to Miss
Minor and barely escapes being unmask-
en Edith Brennan recognizing wayne
bays she viii save him. Securing pass
through the lines. they IRE confronted BY
brennan. who is knocked senseiess. Then
bdding Edith adleu Wayne makes
aash for liberty. lie encounters Bungayt
they reach the Lee camp and are SEM
with achievements 10 join Early. In the
battle Il Shenandoah the regiment IS
oyerWhelmed and Wayne. while Ia the
hospital Is visited BY Edith Brennan
wayne and BunEay are sent on scout
INK detail and arriving az the Minor
place. Wayne meets Miss Minor and Mrs
Buncay. and later Edith appears
Wayne's detachment is besieged ny 9'ier-
rli!as FREEMAN and hts men arrive ana
aid IN repeiling the invaders until res
ouing party ~ bluecoHis reach the scene
Irennan chailengeE MaRne 20 @ dueL
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06
Very Rich Never Generous

simple funeral are all extolled as
II they were creditable him. They
are disgracefui to him, exactly as dis
graceful as the latter and yermin Of
the old miser were disgraceful to him
To be in rags for charity would be the
condition Of saint; TO be In rags
for money was that OF ftthy old
fool Precisely in the same way. TO
be simple" for charity is the state
OF a saint. to be simple" for money
is thar OF a filthy old fool OF the two
! have more respect for the old missT,
gnawing bones in an sttic-G
Chesterion in London Daily News
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06

The Last Resort Of Gentlemen.

found the library deserted. and
paced the floor for fully half an hour
before Cation appeared Stung as
had been by Brennan's harsh. uncall-
editor words. | yet shrank from the
thought that | must now meet him In
deadly combat II was no fear Of
personal injury that troubled me: in
deed ! do not recall giving this the
slightest consideration. for my mind
was altogether concentrated upon what
such meeting must necessarily mean
to Edith Brennan. and how it would
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06

friend. and with fun confidence that I
am upon the right side in the quar-
rel
For a moment no one spoke, Bren-
nan biting his mustache 20 Keep back
tho words he burst not utter. Then
Cation turned To me
III you will retire TO the library.
Wayne. I win arrange this matter with
whoever may represent Major Bren-
nan"
With a slight formal bow to those
present Quilted the room.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06

Coming home from the morning
service one Sunday Or Beecher threw
himself on lounge and said. in tone
OF deep dejection = believe that was
the worst sermon ever preached "
One OF his daughters protested that
she had seldom heard him when he
was more energetic oh. yes waa
the impatient reply. When haven't
anything to say | always boiler The
outlook
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06
Certainly Not

Mrs. Styles-Don't you think this
new hat improves my looks, dear?
Mr.. Styles suppose so.
But what makes you look so
CROSSE"
I'm thinking of the bill for that
hat. You can't expect that to improve
my looks. "-Yonkers Statesman.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06

has done
for me. Fortwoyears
| suffered. The doc
tor said Ihad a tumor
and the only remedy
W as the suNgeon's
knife. My mother
bought me Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound, and
today l am a well and
healthy woman. For
m on tn 8 / suffered
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06
Insult 70 Injury.

How dare you throw that SNOWFALL
st ME like that?"
81 didn't, sir. threw 1t at that
funny ole woman who's wiz yer!"-
London Opinion.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06
Didn't Wait to Choose.

81 presume Blobster applied some
choice expletives to his automobile
when it broke down yesterday so
miles from a garage?"
mo, indeed. He just cut loose and
said the first strong words that came
Into his mind"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06
Relics of Rarberism.

Hewitt-S Speaking of relics of bar
barism-
Jewett-I noticed them; you ought
to shave yourself.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06
Stop the Pain.

The hurt of a burn or cut stops when
Coles Carbolisalve is applied. II heals
druggists. For free sample write to
J. w Cole e. Co.. Black River Falls, Wis.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06

DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate
and invigorate stomach, liver and bowels
Sugar-eoated, tiny granules, easy to take
Do not grippe.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06

Why comes temptation but for man
- meet and master and make crouch
beneath his foot, and so be pedestalled
n triumph Robert Browning.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06
A one.Rinued Circus.

There's ring around the moon"
q guess the man in it is having a
circus"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06

Many things may come 10 the man
who waits. but better things come to
he chap who waits on himself
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-03-06

from Inflammation, and your Sanative
Wash relieved me. / am glad to tell
anyone what your medicines have done
for me. You can use my testimonial in
any way you wish, and / viii be glad
to answer letters. - Mrs. CHRISTINA
REED, los Mound St., Peoria, Ill.
Mrs. Lynch Also Avoided
Operation.
Jessup, Pa. "After the birth of my
fourth child, had severe organic infiam-
nation. Iwould have such terriLl pains
that it did not seem as though / could
stand it. This kept up for three long
months, until two doctors decided that
an operation was needed.
"Then one of my friends recommended
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound and after taking it for two months
Twas a we'll woman. Mrs. JOSEPH A.
LYNCH, Jessup, Pa.
Women who suffer from female ills
should try Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound, one of the most success
full remedies the world has ever known,
before submitting tn a surgical opera
ton.