The weekly chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Craig County, Okla.) 1905-1913, 1912-02-16
REV. RAsTUs eoNEHEAD's CON-
EDUCATIONAL TROUBLES.
Elder Takes Issue With the Pastor at
Recent Meeting-General Stirring
Up on Bible Questions.

I'D on 6lDiG GdCSkt0nSs
Editor Chieftain: Yassir, yassir,
Mr.. Editor; dar am sort of hot time
in my congregashun over dat matter
OBJ de inspirashun OBJ de Bible, an las
Friday mite after gabe my lectur on
dat fabul OBJ Noah's Ark, and wen |
frowed de meeting open fur remarks,
who should git up but Elder Craps, an
in de most imperdent manner try to
Overthrow what sed in my lectur. He
said, in the fust place. dat he met dat
linferdel feller from Restella, Jack Rat
tail. on de street, and 'octed him by
axing him ef he war de feller wot done
writ so much rubbish fur de Cheeftain.
He sed he war, and dat wat he writ
was de troof. an no ting but de troof.
axed him whar he got his inferma-
shun, ans he sed dat all de CRATE men
ov de past, sich men as Woltare, an
fBolinbroke, Cor Ded-broke. ferget
wich,) an Tom Pain, an Kunnel Inger-
sold, all OBJ dem held de same 'pinions,
an mostest OBJ de intellergent people
of dis generashun held de same 'pions.
an dat only ingeramouses an old wo-
men believed in de Bible Well, sez
II, l seed dat you poked fun at dat story
of Noah's Ark, an sed it wuz all a
fake, dat no sech sort oh rooted tub
could heye held all dem animiles. Sez
II, Mr. Rattail, didn't yer know dat one
OBJ dem old Holland shipbuilders, who
believed in de Bible, an who knowed
all erbout dem inferdel objeckshuns,
went ter work on 'bilt ship eggsackly
on de plan OBJ de ark. and dat wen he
got troo de job he sent an had all de
CRATE men OBJ his kentry to come an
'spect it, an dat it wuz found to hold
jest one-third moh frate den any udder
ship dat ebber fioted? He sed dat he
lnebber hurd OBJ dat An now, Parsun,
youse bin a pokin' fun at dat same ark,
and you seem to be in de same boat
wild Rattail, (not de ark, | fears), and
you are tryin to mex us believe dat
de ark an de food am all fairy tale.
Now, let me say to We rite here in de
pressunce OBJ dis aujence, dat eff you
keep on much longer de Judgment ob
de Lord will fall upon ye, fer I be-
Ileeves dat We ar doing de debbils dirty
work, same as dat Rattail. and dat
bofe oh YOU ef you don't repent, viii
sooner nor later find yourselves in a
climate hotter dan de tropicks.
Yassir, yassir, dat's de way dat fool
coon went on, an / couldn't stop him
He sed, too, dat dar was a rumur OF
tradishun dat wen de animiles went
inter de ark dar was lettle meezly
inferdel an higher crittuck dat krept
up de gang-plank along wild de hogs
and hiyenas unbeknownst to Noah, an
dat was de way dat de breed wuz sent
down to kuss de world An der is
anudder tradishun an dat is dat dc
higher crittuck an de inferdel am q
cross twixt de pig an de hiyena, fol
dey seem ter hab de grunt OBJ de one
and de grin oh de udder. He sed, too
dat he he'd met Cap White, and dc
Cap axed him wat dem three big let
ter ment at de end of de parsuns name
"A. D. F." I done toled him | didnt
know, an he sed he thot dat it stood
fur "A Dodgasted Fool, in all prob
berbility. Isn't dat pretty way fui
a dignertied minister like me to bt
held up ter reticule, an by one OBJ my
own elders? Vile Craps wuz el
speakin' ole Sister Buzzer sed Amen
an ebbery now an den shouted Haller
: luyer! Dey all know ! believes il
: pussonal liberty. an dats de way de,
takes advantage OBJ de Pastur. Bu
Jest you waite 'til leoktur on "De sur
! Standin still.' III show dem thlnl
er two.
REV RAsTus BoNEHEAD.
ID. d, A. u. +