Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-09-19

~ ''N'''S J"A 1859 aAt u ~
"Tain't no snap to be straight laced
For two weeks. and solenln-faced,
Work1n mOrnln. noon and night.
Tell you what. it's sure a fright.
Hope that we can just hold down
Till that circus comes to town.
THAT RESTAURA II PIE.
In the restaurant 1 sit. thinking
mother. dear, or you
And the good old%-fashioned pies you
used to make,
Where the top and bottom crusts had
some filling in between
And did not require a blacksmith's
sledge to break.
Now the apple pie I get tastes just
like a leather belt
And would make a dandy half-sole
for a shoe.
1T will bend. but will not break. and
IN always have to take
off my lid in fond remembrance
THE KNOT HOLE FAN.
You can talk about your aged oaken
bucket,
That messy one that dangled in the
we'll:
The old farm house you used to love
so dearly,
The daisies that grew in the bosky v
dell.
But there's one other spot that we can
mention.
For which our love was nightly in
tense:
II fingers in our memory forever
That little old round knothole i'm the
fence.
How we'll do we remember all the play-
erS
Who took part in the Doodle Center
game.
The battin' record of this mighty ball
Would make a class A league look
pretty tame.
We witnessed every contest of the sea
Without the slightest sort Of an ex-
pense,
And to our goodsSold friend We'll e'er
be GRATEFUL
Our little old round knothole in the
ence.
We saw all OF the stars that graced the
contest,
And then we saw another kind. to
boot,
| Whene'er the copper with a shinple
found us
And we had not time to take a
scoot.
How many times we've eaten from the
mantel,
But did it with a joy that was i'm
menSe,
Because we had enioyed nm to tho
That little old round knothole in the
fence.
NOW FOR A GOOD REST.
Mother and the girls are back.
lhey been down at the shore
Residing at the swell resort.
TNhQy, Ctopo1 I, rno -.-AL
They went there to recuperate,
their health was bad.
They wax quite eloquent about
n splendid time they had.
or course. they are all tired out,
And feel punk at the best.
The fun they had was worth it,
They'll now stay home and rest.
SISTERS PICTURE.
When sister gets her picture took
She looks Just like a Gibson book;
n twists her features like shed
sQuall.
And don't look like herself at all.
She wears more a than e'er before
And gets II at the 10-cent store.
She tries to look just like a saint.
n that is what my sister amt.
She poses like an actorine
Bout sixteen times or seventeen.
And frets n fumes like all pos
sessed.
Although the artist does his best.
She squints and scowls and can't sit
straight,
And makes the Teller wai and wait.
! don see what she does it fer,
The pictures never look like her.
l feel like yellin Get the hook"
When sister gets her picture took.
-
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT?
Any man who wishes that he was
a woman should try it for a day.
Fasten a counterpart and q blan-
ket round your legs: buckle a strap
around you waist SO tight YOU can't
a full breath or eat a hearty
meal; have YOU hair all loose ana
funny go that it keeps tickling your
ears and getting into your eyes; wear
high heeled shoes n gloves a size
too small for you; cover your face with
a veil full of spots that make you
squint: fix a huge hat on pins so that
every time the wind blows IL pulls
your hair out by the roots and then.
without any pockets and with a three
inch square OF lace to blow your nose
with, and short sleeves and openwork
stockings, GO for a walk on a winters
day and enjoy yourself. Oh, yes. you'd
X It, all right.
AN EMPEROR ON 81 A DAY.
Emperor Franz Joseph of Austria
Hungary lives OF two dollars a day.
but the answer IL easy He is an
emperor. If an emperor want to
a celluloid collar and wash it him
self no n dares to criticise. An
emperor can wear a 'seven-dollar suit
until the fringe hangs about It's edges
and no n dares object. An emperor
IN n vfVyA ~ not VnA01 -~~H. SOYA-8A-- -