davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1912-01-18
THIRTEENTH CENSUS A NATIONAL JOKE
Work 70 be Left Unfinished Owing Failure c Congress 10
Furnish Additional sI,OOO0OO when 1t
Was Aked For
Is 3eclal 10 the COURIER. j

Washington, p. ri, Ian, II, 1912
The correspondent ol the Courier was
ID one of The elevators III the HOUSE ST
Representatives Office building 4 few days
since. and as the car started upwards
the affairs OF the great home newspapers
filied his mind. Someone was saying:
This is indeed a fiae building / never
have been in it before. Attracted by the
question and friendly tap looked
straight into the eyes of Andrew Car
negie, and forgetting 10 ask him FOR Il
library FOR Elk Point read III the lace
and voice of the canny old Scotchman,
who for moment was offguard. story
which columns of the human interest
description, could not accurately relate.
This little, withered old man. who has
spent his millions for libraries, charity,
philanthropy and The Advancement of the
affairs of The world Ii not the active,
energetic man commonly pictured III the
daily press Az the steel investigation
lutte matters involving only 4 million or
two were quite forgotten. and time and
again the king OF steel turned 10 his at
torneys 10 refresh bis memory. Oc-
casionally there was sharp sally spark
ling with humor thoroughly character
istic, and from these phases u the life
of Carnegie. rather than from bis usual
manner. ii The popular impression
formed Carnegie ii close range inn
presses one most With being very old,
almost feeble he has d conntenance
that fairly shines wifl benevolence; and
next 10 the great pleasure he finds in his
giving follows the ioy oF applause that
has been heaped upon him BY reason of
the dlstribnsion of his millions
csusns joke
If any 81 the great trusts would ex-
pend sl4 900 900 IN Two years and then
with The completion Of their work ID
signt by tle expenditure at another
millionanu then with ave month j
more work required to complete Ihe task
well, II ii This stage oi the proceed
ings, The aforesaid trust would tie down.
suspend turn Of 100 employees. and
close shop, then every irnss buster ID
congress would jump f2r barrel top 20
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1912-01-18
MEET WITH
MRS. ]. W. ELLIS
". 6. 7. U. Hold An Interesting
Meeting Wednesday Of
Last Week


The w. q. +. q. met at the new home
oF Mrs. J. W. Ellis last Wednesday. Jan.
loth. with Mrs Emma Halter as leader.
Thesubietct was Medical Temperance, T Y
aud the roll call was. What would one
use III place Of Jamica Guiger, Why not
use Coco Colaq and Would anyone form
alcohol habit by using Patent Medicine I
Mrs Geo. Hasson had charge Of the
music.
A paper was read from our Penal
Superintendent Lacy Borneman Of Sioux
Falls, In which she stated that she had
received s42. 40 from the various unions
ii the state, This money was to he
used to buy Christmas remem brances
for the prisoners.
The members Of the Sioux Falls Union
met and tied white ribbon bow and
pasted i scripture text On 237 bright ar
tistic calendars. There are 2s7 inmates,
g being In FOR life and there are two
women inmates. The % life prisoners
we're each given scripture wall motto
and the Two women inmates were pfes
scented with 4 fish bowl with Two gold
fish each.
The Elk Point Union sent ST rs as
their share oi the donation
The sick IN the prison hospital were
remembered with bouquet OF cul
flowers and 4 Christmas box of candy
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1912-01-18
Simple Mixture Used in Elk Point

Mary IN Elk Polntare now using The
simple buckthorn bark and glyeeFiue
mixture known IS Adler-l-ka, the new
German Appendicitis remedy. A
SINGLE DOSE relieves constipation,
sour stomach Or gas On the stomach nl-
most INSTANTLY. This simple mix
lure antlsepticixes The digestive or
gana ana draws i tbs inpul Atlas nnd
people are surprised how QUICKLY Il
helps. A ri. LEWIS, DFugglst. /
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1912-01-18
FIRE is DISCOVERED At ABOUT Has IN THE MORNING But HAD
GOTTEN BEYOND CONTROL
THERMOMETER REGISTERS 20 BELOW
emen Work Hard to Keep Fire Down THAT Surrounding Build
ngs Would Not Ienie---Men We're Ice From
Head TO Foot

a fire that completely destroyed the
livery barn owned and operated by the
Hammond Brothers IN this city was dis.
covered at about ll:45 on Friday morn
ing and when discovered had got such u
start thai it could moi be controlled.
The real cause Of the FIRE is unknown,
but is supposed 70 have originated from
an ovcrheated stove although at the
time of discovery, the fife il the stove
was very low.
Mrs. Jean Hammond was the FIRST to
notice anything wrong and she 1T once
called MIR Hammond who was At work
II the barn, and at that time the iire
was already coming through The clap
boards Mt the front end Of the building.
The fire department responded quick
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1912-01-18
Date will be given later.

Date will be given later.
The next meeting Of the Elk Point
IN. @ i. y. viii be held Oh Feb. 18th Ill
the home Of Mrs Jennie Barr The
subject win be Sour schools. Roll
call, what can the w G. T. u. do for
our schools Mrs Meyers viii be leader
and Mrs +. = Rust has charge Of the
music. We not only request The mem
bers 81 be present At this meeting but
especially invite all parents of the school
children IL attend
supERINTEN DENE PREss
DEPARTMENT. or tV. q. r.. Iy.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1912-01-18
WILL HOLD
ANNUAL MEETING
School 0ffiCers and Teachers VIM
Meet Saturday II the
Court House


The annual meeting oI the schooi
officers and teachers d The southern
division Of Union county vii Be held is
the court house Saturday morning and
Afternoon, Jam. 20 very good Bis.
gram b. been arranged ana 4 large III.
tendance II desired. Following Il the
complete program
Forenoon 1000
School ofIicers' Section Court Room.
Subjects for Discussion Tuition.
Deposit Of districts funds. What aud
where children drink. Payment of
teachers school fnnds. Needed lealsA
lation. Closlng 0i schools.
Teachers section ~sheFitf'a R0oms.
Second Floor.
Scott's Social Education
la) The schools social relationship.
..... ............. Sister II. PAtricin
90 Self organized group work ks....
....*s...s. Jessie Stevenson
(c) Arithmetic from socielaEy stand.
polat N. Clara johnson
kd1 Reading. language, literature. ..
....s...s...... ...,*. Glenn Wallace
General
Rainy days at school Anna Waugh
The library ~ an agent e culture. 81.
.s..... s. Edith Anderson
Discipline of youag pupils. Manda Fox
A8&ns ssf4rn Nv H. a<yx .xsx.4fF.s - 4 ~ u.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1912-01-18

bowl against the robbery of The stock.
holders and tle rights IN the people.
Iae description bits The great census de-.
paftment, Where anothef million was
required to finish the work. Congress
vetoed one-half Of The amount and the
director promptly sent the accumula.
lions cf fourteen millions or dollars ex.
pendltures to storage, discharged nearly
the entire CREW and announced that
only population and agricultural statis.
tics would be completed iii detail, while
Che country viii have 10 be content with
totals So FAR as everything else which
was % tell The great story Of industries,
manufactures, etc, Of the country is
concerned. The senate voted for an ap.
preparation TO finish The census work,
but the democratic house of represents
tiYes as part of their economy plan.
would stand for but one-half Of the
amount, with the result that The thir-
teentl census is to become the great
national joke.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1912-01-18

The dove Of peace should be re-
christened Democracy There's )
nothing like II ii recent history When
any pieceot legislation Is proposed Oscar
Underwood and Champ Clark take all
the boys hi the house of representa-.
tives into secret caucus and tell them
what % do, and # they are not willing.
give them few good-natured cuffs on
The ears alter which they app sar ia the
open house and faithfully execute their
orders OH top of alI this followed The
great jackson day banquet iii Washing
ton, wherein Bryan, Woodrow Wilson,
Hearst Clark Folk. and I'LL the rest got
together, and pulled off the love-feass Of
the season. Tie Republicans are too
astonished at The performance fof Ut.
terance The wise ones Of that party
find coptent ii declaring we are hav.
ing our troubles bow. ana when il ccnlea
ID lining up for battle we WIN all be tos
gether But Just watch Tile merry time
those Demos viii have when their
bottled Up wrath breaks loose and tie
explosions take place about nominating
time.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
WEATHER FOR THE WEEK

The weekly weather bulletin issued
by the Agricultural Department
reads:
Temperatures during the coming
week W i average near or above the
norma in the Southern States and
generally throughout the Western
distr,c :; cool weather will prevail
the first half of the week in the
Northern States east of the Rocky
Mountains, but it will give way to
warmer weather in this region about
Wednesday. The weather over the
country during the week will be gen.
orally fair, except that it will be I'M
settled, with probably local showers
and thunderstorms the first half of
the week in the Northern States as
result of the eastward movement of
a disturbance that is now forming
in the far West. No general Storm
area will cross the country during
the week.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
GENESIS or THE CHIMNEY
Seneca Invented Tube Through
Which Passed the Heat From
subterranean Ovens.

In the excavations at Pompeii and
Herculaneum no discovery appears
to have been made Of anything APP
preaching the nature Of the modern
chimney. The earliest mention Of
the chimney seems to be in an an
Gent Venetian inscription over a
doorway, where it is written that in
1347 certain chimneys in that loca-
ton were demolished by earthquakes.
1t is by conjecture only that we are
able to say that the chimney was
known in ancient Italy. Seneca,
who lived during the first century
of our era, invented a species of tube
which he affixed to the length OF
the wall, and it seems to have run
through floors. Through this the
heat passed from subterranean ovens
called "hypocaustis," of which re-
mains were found in buried cellars
Of houses built on the Bay Of Ma
Piles. But in this there is no evil
dence of any chimney in the mod
ern sense or even of any kind of
stove. Before the invention of the
chimney fires were made in excava-
tons or pits opened beneath the
floor of habitations in about the CEN
ter of the room, as the Eskimos do
today.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
LATEST WRINKLE.

In shop recently well-known
actress, who is noted for her peren-
NAL youth, asked for travelling bag
of alligator skin. The shopkeeper,
who had none of that particular sort,
brought out instead some of smooth
leather.
"And you tell me this is alligator
skin?" objected the actress. "Why-
where are all its wrinkles?"
"Ah, madam" replied the willy
dealer, who knew his customer,
wrinkles are out of vogue. The
correct alligator bag is made from
the skin of an alligator that has been
massaged." Cincinnati Times-Star.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
WAS JUST A HOME WEDDING
How the coIored Woman Arranged q
Second Marriage Without Troubling
About Divorce.

William L. Bodine was called upon
at recent banquet given for sociolo-
gists at the Sherman, and he told
this as a true story:
"a colored woman was brought be-
fore Judge Goodnow in the munich
pal court. She was there to appear
against her supposed husband, ar
rested for abandonment. The sup
posed husband claimed he had de-
serted the woman, but he was only
second husband.
els your first husband dead p
asked the judge as he turned to the
woman.
emo, sab; he's simply husky with
health, but / amt lived with him for
five years. came the answer.
"'Then were you divorced?' asked
the judge.
"No; dat man wasn't worth no
divorce
The judge became interested and
asked: You say this is your second
husband. Were you married by a
minister or judgeY
emo, sir; it was jest home we'd
DIM
"Just home wedding. What do
you mean by home weddingT' asked
the judge.
"Well, you see it was jest dis
away. Yo' honah, aftah nah hus-
band deserted me and waited five
years met this man. We took a
shine to each other. We decided ter
git married. We made up our minds
ter git married at home. So jest
went and got the marriage 'tifcate
had when l was married de fust time
and scratched out de fust mans
name and l wrote in the name of dis
man."
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
Porto RiCO'S New Wonder.

From far away Porto Rico come
reports Of wonderful new discov-
cry that is believed will vastly bene-
ct the people. Ramon 7. Marchan,
of Barceloneta, writes. "Dr. Kings
New Discovery is doing splendid
work here. 1t cured me about five
times of terrible coughs and colds,
also my brother of a severe cold in
his chest and more than 20 others,
VII used it on my advice. We hoIe
this great medicine will yet be sold
i'll every drug store in Porto Rico. "
For throat and lung troubles it has
no equal. A trial will convince you
OF It's merit. SOC and 81 90. Trial
bottle rec. Guaranteed by all
druggists.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
ORIGIN OF THE MANOR.

Under William the Norman the
village system of Saxon and Morse
freeholders was practically replaced
by the "manors" with which he re-
warded hundreds and thousands Of
his barons and knights, after the
conquest of England. The manor
might comprise one or more villages,
or a wide range of moor and forest,
sparsely inhabited, but for its pos
session the lord of the manor owed
service and certain payments of
money or property to his sovereign,
and in return had practical sover-
eighty over the people of his do
main. His were the rights of spit
and gallows" to drown any woman
and hang any man whom he might
adjudge guilty under the stern ORA
CONAN code of a period when thief
and poacher, hereto and railer, were
fortunate if they escaped with mutt
lation or whipping that was scarce
ly to be preferred to death.-"Nobil-
ity of the Trades" by Charles Wins
low Hall in National Magazine.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
COUNTY CONVENTION
Of Sunday Schools at Penn.
broke May 20.

The annual convention of the
Christian County Sunday School As
ISOLATION will be held at the Metho-
dist church in Pembroke on Wednes-
d 4y May 29tn. An interesting pro-
gram to include the whole day. will
be prepared, with dinner on the
ground. State Worker 7. c. Geba-
uer will be present and will also give
an illustrated lecture on the evening
of the 18th.
DOUGLAS GRAHAM.
County President
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
Tagged Train With Shirt.

Tearing his shirt from his back an
Ohio man tagged train and saved
il from a wreck. but H. T. Aston,
Raleigh. N. c., once prevented a
wreck with Electric Bitters. Il was
in a terrible plight when ! began TO
use Them" he writes, my stomach.
head. back and kidneys were all
badly affected and my liver was in
bad condition. but four bottles Of
Electric Bitters made me feel like a
new man" A trial will convince
you of their matchless merit for any
stomach. liver or kidney trouble.
Price so cents at all drug stores.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
BLIND AND LAME Co-0PERATED
Tale From the TaImud of the king's
Watchers In the Orchard
and the Stolen Figs.

A certain king, who had an or
chard of fig trees, priced the fruit
so highly that he determined to have
the trees guarded that the fruit
might not be stolen. For this pur-
pose he placed in the orchard a
blind man and lame man.
The next day when the king Wis
tied the orchard he found much of
the fine fruit gone, and he asked the
watchers what had become Of it.
81 do not know" replied one man.
"Nor J." said his companion.
The king then asked if they had
nten the fruit themselves.
81 could not steal the figs" said
the lame man, "for 1 could not walk
up to the trees"
"And l could not take Them" said
the blind man, 'for l cannot see."
But the king was very wise, and
he soon found out that the blind
man had carried the lame man, and
that while the blind man used his
legs, the lame man had used his eyes
and hands, and in this way the figs
had been stolen. But the men were
severely punished.-From the Tai
mud.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23

Clarence V. 7. Richeson, a for
mer Baptist preacher, was electro
cuted at Boston shortly after mid
night Monday night, for the MUIR
der of Avis Linnell. his sweetheart,
in order that he might marry anoth-
er girl. He had betrayed the girl,
who was only II years old, and gave
her poison, pretending that it was
medicine, He made a full confess
ion and had no trial.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23

Five persons, three men and two
women, were drowned in Chicago
when the automobile in which they
were riding plunged into the Calu-
met river at the Ninety. second street
bridge. They were having a joy
ride and speeding at 80 miles an
hour and failed to stop when told
the draw bridge was up. The
chauffeur had borrowed" the auto
to take mis- friends riding. without
the knowledge of the owner.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
FATE OF THE PoLARIs.

The Polaris, with Charles Francis
Hall in command, had been sent out
by the United States government on
a scientific expedition, and had
reached the most northern point ever
attained by a vessel. In the autumn
of 1872 the Polaris ran into an i'm
passable ice foe, and remained there
for two months. Nineteen persons,
including some of the crew and some
of the Eskimos on board, left the
ship, which was leaking badly. They
took supplies and camped on the
ice, intending to make for the land.
They had not gone far when ter
rife gale blew up and they found
themselves unable to reach either
the ship or the land. Then the ice
split and they were set adrift on the
foe. Having supplies, they were
able to live, but they faced the pros
pect of certain destruction in case OF
a severe storm, and the ice foe be-
gan to diminish in size as they drift
ed southwark. However, they were
all rescued. They numbered, in fact
one more than when they had started
on their strange voyage, for the Els
kimo Hannah had given birth to q
girl.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23

The majority report in the bribery
clse of Senator VIM. Lorimer. Ct
Illinois. declares him not guilty and
is signed by FIVE members. The
minority report, signed by three,
scores the majority and says Lorimtr
was proven guilty in that he was
elected by corrupted votes. The
matter is to be fought out in the
Senate.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
Only A Fire Hero

5u. the crowd cheered. as. with
burned hands. he held up small
round box. "Fellows!' he shouted,
this Bucklei's Arnica Salve | hold,
has everything beat for burns"
Right! also for boils. ulcers. sores.
pimples. eczema, cuts. sprains, brui-
ses. Surest pile cure. 1t sub iues
Inflammation. kills pain. Only %
cents at all druggists.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
A Great Building Falls

when its foundation is undermined,
and if the foundation of health
good digestlon-is attacked. quick
collapse follows. On the first sign
of Indigestion. DR.. Kings New Life
Pills should be taken TO tone the
stomach and regulate liver. kidneys
and bowels. Pleasant. safe and only
Is cents at al druggists.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
HIS APOLOGY.

"Sorry, old man, l called you a
fool. / should have remembered the
well-known injunction"
"You. mean the verse which says
that he who calls his brother a fool
is in danger of everlasting ire?"
"No, l mean the saying; The
truth should not be spoken at all
tines"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
Roa tied Victim Alive.

An almost unbelievably cruel hap
pening has come to light at Hiroshi-
ma, Japan. There a man and his
wife have been arrested for willfully
cremating a live man. The prisoners
were in charge of a crematorium, and
while at work a faint voice coming
out of a coffin begged for fresh air
The couple took no notice. however,
and proceeded to apply FIRE. roasting
the man alive
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23

A man who had undergone a court
examination by a Awyer in Chicago
without faltering for a second was
complimsnted by the lawyer later for
bis accurate manner OF recalling early
and milor episodes OF his life. i
was well rehearsed for IT," said the
witness only yesterday ! had to
m out an application for tels
ph0ne~
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
PAS PRECAUTIONS.

Mrs. Nubbons-My husband is
perfect brute.
Friend-You amaze me-
Mrs. Nubbons-Since baby began
teething nothing kept him quiet but
pulling pas beard. Yesterday he
shaved Variety Life.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
Lots for Homes.

Three residence lots on Canton
Pike and West 18th Street so cheap
you can't afford to miss one for a
home. John c. Duff
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23

How about selling that Farm? Do
you wish to exchange it for larger
one. one little better located, or
for city property, you should see the
Homestead Agency. They can help
you out.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
rh. EashIon BOD HoussksspIno.

The Fashion for Housekeeping.
II is no longer fashionable not TO
know on which side the bread Ii but
tered or how to cook a potato. the
intelligent society woman nowadays Is
scientifically domesticated. She can
meet her own cook without ninching
and can, moreover. give that autocrat
points" on culinary matters.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23

Money saved is money made, no
matter who saves it for you. We
can save you money on Real Estate;
let us show you. The Homestead
Agency.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
PREFERRED LOCALS

1t will pay you to see US in con
nection with the sale of your proper
ty. also about your fire and tornado
insurance. The Homestead Agony.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
A COLLECTOR.

Howell-He is always under the
doctors care; what is the matter
with him?
Powell-Nothing; he is just get
ting a collection of surgical opera
tions.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
Chickens For Sale.

To close out, want to sell 10 Buff
Orpington fowls at 80 cts each. Also
hen and % young chicks at bargain
price. S. E. CHASTAIN, or inquire
at this office.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23

See j. H. Dagg for contracting
building and general repairlwork Of
all kinds. Phone 476.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
$4,000

To loan on first-class real estate Sc
curity. The rs. KNIGHT & CO.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23

The Lion-What's the matter,
Mr.. Snake? 1t looks as though you
had experimental with some hair
grower.
The Snake-No, 1 swallowed Q
porcupine.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-05-23
FOR SALE

Lot nice driving horses and family
horses not afraid of automobiles.
C. H. LAYNE.