davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1912-08-11

sent t b, the Sultan.
Ye Et must take back your wife,
we Ennot have other powers get
ting Control here, which they surely
will under these circumstances" !"
said the English official
ID possible, sir" replied his Glor-
lou B d nd Effulgent Majesty, yawning,
"tg our laws, mans wife must
ntarr1 some other man before her
first I husband can take her back"
Yogi cannot feaze an Englishman
an HS<-ore than you can make him
SCI q joke. This particular official
st1 ,ok ed his tawny n1ustache mo-
MI ln' and exclaimed @By Joye, Your
HI 81 mess, marry her to another
MI III, then have her divorce him, or
ha 9 him divorce her the minute
at I srward, then marry her over
az 4 in yourself! Great? Eh, what?"
All, but you do not quite under
st md our wonderful laws" said the
S { ltan, you see, when a woman
d / ,es this and her first husband
t / kes her back, he naturally has
{, kill her second husband or else
II o one will believe she has really
/ emarried her first husband"
"My word, no, His Majesty, King
tGeorge wouldn't stand for that, you
know, old top-er your Majesty.
{ He's a good sport and all that sort
aof silly thing, but he is not strong
c,n murder" But the clever Eng
hshman fixed 1t up. A man was
made to marry the princess, who
pomptly divorced him, the Sultan
then married the princess again and
tine second husband was spirited
away and pensioned, while a mock
execution was performed and every
body was happy-except perhaps the
Sultan and his new-old wife.
i About this time the Sultan be-
gan to introduce European ideas
into the royal court in Zanzibar.
He had taken a favorite into his
harem, Maori girl of great beauty,
from an African standpoint. The
200 second wives had nothing to say,
but his four legal wives were angry
at the favoritism, especially the
princess, SO the Sultan, to appease
them, brought on from Paris a
Omaha daily bee., 1912-08-11

n 70 mere figure Of speech Is the
M High Cost of Living. For
years it has been tightening
it's grasp throughout the coustry.
From the Battery to the Bronx in
Manhattan is it known; from the tip
of Telegraph Hill to the Ferry is,
it felt in Frisco; around and about
from Whitechapel to the Strand In
London it has settled like pail of
disceuragement.
But this is not all. Indeed is thei
High Cost of Living real, for it has
spread across continents and over
seas until to-day it has clutched
distant Zanzibar! !
Zanzibar, that tiny country so
remote In our minds that we must
have recourse to the atlas to place
it properly; Zanzibar, the ancient
and the quaint, the primitive and
the grotesque, Is as truly oppressed
by this modern Juggernaut of
Boosted Prices as any country Of
the demftasse,. demi-monde and
oC1AlJOul, CdllCu ClfiiiLCu-
And so to-day His Glorious and
Efulgent Majesty, Ali ben Hamoud,
Sultan of Zanzibar, sits gIoomily
alene in the Paris cafes and sips
his absinthe, while his commits
sioner is stirring about through
Europe, selling the jewels and
costumes and other precious pos
sessions OF the unhappy Sultan, that
he may secure the wherewithal to
combat for a while longer this
terrible High Cost of Living!
His Glorious and Efulgent
Majesty, the Sultan of Zanzibar, is.
twenty-eight years old, of true Afri-
can type, dark chocolate colored,
and every inch a royal ruler.
He possesses four legal wives and
a harem adorned by 200 concubines.
Notwithstanding this, he is most
unhappy man for his royal house
hold is expensive and his four wives
Omaha daily bee., 1912-08-11

and zoo second wives have, alas,
formed the ioy-riding, Paris gown
and champagne habits.
Consider, for a moment, the ex-
pense Of properly, or improperly,
dressing one woman in French
gowns, depending upon the individ-
ual viewpoint. Consider also the
cost of such a woman who demands
champagne morning, noon and
night, and whose chief delight Is
joy-riding in a mile-a-minute auto
mobile.
Multiply this by 204--and try to
pay for 1t all on a paltry income
of $4,000 year, and you will know
something of the sorrows and tribu'
lations and problems of His Glorious
and Effulgent Majesty, Ali ben
Hamoud, Sultan of Zanzibar.
In these days when $4,000 year
scarcely pays for little Fidos gold
booties and his tooth-hrushes, it is
small wonder poor Ali is in sore
financial distress, and 1t all came
about through education.
The Sultan OF Zanzibar was edu-
Gated at Harrow, Oxford and the
cafes Of Paris. Later Germany
sought to win his favor and gain
the protectorate over Zanzibar.
The English would not allow It.
They entertained him right royalty.
He stayed at the Ritz and had
carte blanche at the expense of the
British crown, he travelled through
France, which consisted for the
most part of remaining right in tn 1
heart and heat of Paris, and the n
he went hack to Zanzibar, whore
England allows him $4,000 a year
for the lease Of strip of about ten
miles along the coast in British East
Africa, including Mombassa.
But somehow after years in Eng
land, meeting celebrities, and being
entertained by royalty, attending
gay weekend parties and journey.
ing 1eisurely through the bright
spots in PARIS somehow, after all
of this, poor old Zanzibar did no
seem attractive.
The native women still put thre' B
pound gew-gaws in their ears, ts .
tooed their foreheads and did the d
Omaha daily bee., 1912-08-11

merchants. First he got as high as
$1,000 each. When they would pay
no more he dropped the price until
it got SO almost every one was
wearing the decoration of the order,
OF the Glorious Star Of Zanzibar
and then he couldn't give them
away, They were as common as
washboards in an East Side tene-
ment block.
His Glorious and Effulgent High
ness pleaded with England to double
his allowance, and he was shocked
when he learned that England was
thinking seriously of cutting 1t
down. He must have more money.
And how could he get more
money? 49, ..F.-
His Glorious and Effulgent High
ness was educated at Harrow and
Oxford, 1t has been remarked. That
education was not to be wasted
He hit upon a plan to make some
money.
AS the sole ruler of Zanzibar-in
name, with England practically
governing - he held counsel with
himself.
Alone in his throne room--slaves
are not counted as any one there
the Sultan said to himself:
Most glorious ruler of the great
and powerful Zanzibar, have come
to inform you that the people
your people-demand that you be
given another decoration"
Then the Sultan would bow low
Omaha daily bee., 1912-08-11

"'Tis WE'LL" remarks this won
derful young Sultan to himself in
his solemn monologue, "but, pray.
what shall the insignia be-"
Here the Sultan thinks a mo-
ment before replying to his own
question, then exclaims:
"Oh, most Glorious and Effulgent
Majesty, suggest that 1t be made
of an immense ruby surrounded by
Iii large blue-white diamonds, rep
resenting both the rays of the sun
and the Ill Moguili gods OF our
ancient Zanzibar faith"
Quite SO, It's an excellent de-
sign" says the Sultan, continuing
his monologue; "but 1t will cost
exceeding much. Who shall pay for
tt?' 3a " q, a.. @-..
"Ah, SIRE" exclaims the Sultan
after moments thought with
himself, "inasmuch as the people
have asked you to accept this honor,
the people shall pay for IT."
Then the Sultan goes to his min
listers and tells them that the people
have demanded that he accept this
new decoration, whereupon his min.
listers secretly smile behind their
rhinoceros-hide shields, but they
have the decoration made. The
Sultan wears 1t week or SO, and
then away 1t goes--11l great dia-
monds and mammoth ruby--into
the market, where 1t brings him an
immense sum. ~. w.
Truly, the high cost of living has
hit distant Zanzibar!
Omaha daily bee., 1912-08-11

anu reply u
himself:
=" A nd II
it pleaseth
my beloved
people to
SO h n o r
me, gladly
will I ac-
cept, solely
to brin 6
t b e m joy.
What shall
the decora-
tion be?"
/ n r e.
sponse to
this the
S u ! t a n
would tell
himself:
"The peo-
pie suggest
that you be
f o r thwith
| n yes ted
W it h t h e
d e coration
of the Or
der of tho
S e t t | n e
SUM-"
Omaha daily bee., 1912-08-11

AAN ~ AAAstA><4 49,
the lively ladies
and Paris. And
back to Paris and
Home again for
back to. Paris
again
All this peeved
his wife. That
is, his chief wife,
who was. al prin-
cess of the blood
royal, and she
made, such a
fuss over 1t. that
the young Sui
tan divorced. her.
In Zanzibar this
consists Of TAX.
ing the wife be-
fore a witness
and telling her
to go away"
But His. Giori..
Gus and Enul.
gent Majesty
overlooked one.
thing. His chief
wife was Of even
more royal blood
than he. She
was: directly de-
scended from a
line Of rulers
that may have
dated back to
the celebrated
Rameses family.
AT any rate,. her
going meant the
upsetting. Of his
country. Right
here EngIa nd
stepped In. A
high official W az,
Omaha daily bee., 1912-08-11

hair into Eiffel towers with cute
little human bones for hair-pins,
and try as he might, the Sultan
couldn't make. 'em appear quite like
the lively ladies he met in London
and Paris. And so he journeyed
back to Paris and remained a year.
Home again for brief visit and
haoE To. Roria
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
BABY SEA ELEPHANT.

A baby sea elephant weighing 500
pounds and valued at $4,000 was
seized by the customs officers al San
Diego, Cal, a short time sgo, when
it was brought there on the schooner
Santa Barbara from Guadalupe Isle
and, off Lover California. The mann
NAL is owned by John Ramsey of
Los Angeles. Ramsey protested
payment Of duty and had given orr
ders to leave the sea elephant in
charge Of the government when .
compromise was effected. The mam-
NAL was captured after hard battle
with its mother on the shores Of
Guadalupe.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
MORTALITY iN WAR.

War; called by Che great Eraarus,
the malady oa princrs.v has had 80
many victims we will newer b. able
70 reckoa them up. However. il 10
computed that up 70 the middle Of
the nineteenth century no laas than
$500, GOO, 900 men persisted on illa
feld Of battle. IN all probability
the estimate ia under, rather than
over. the mark. You mas be correct
in thinking that ~wam are practical
II over among civilized people, bur
from she presens-day ornaments q
the so-caIled civilized peoples il
would look as though those in SUI
thority had not yea gotten oveF the
feaF Of the old terror.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
SUN AS THE LAmPLIGHTER
Novel System Of Illumination That In
70 Be Employed on the Panama
Canal.

The Panama canal, which is nov
bearing completion is 70 have a
novel system Of illumination for its
lighthouses. The gas used for the
flame is acetylene, but the sun is 70
De the lampiighserl These lamps
viii be lit BY a lampIighser nearly q
hundred million miles away The
lamps viii be fitted with copper
cylinders exposed 20 the cir. When
the sun rises in The morning is rays
will cause the cylinders 10 expand,
and 30 close valves which admit gas
TO the burners. As che sun goes
down and tho cir cooIs the copper
cylinders will contract, 50 opening
the valves and admitting gas 70 the
burners, where II viii be lighted by
small pilot-jets resembling The ore
binary bypass.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
CARNATIONS FROM THE BODY
Students Of Photography Have fer
Some Time Recognized Them aa
to Be Guarded Against.

Major D'Anget's reported discov-
Try of the Photographic powers Of
he human body, or of supposed
manations from it. may contain new
ietails OF interest, but the general
principle will not appear startling to
those who have had experience in
photography. Many photographers
have learned from experience that It
IS not well to handle extremely sem
sitive dry plates more than is abso-
hntely necessary-that, indeed, it Is
best while developing them to keep
hem at arms length from their
bodies, and even to screen them with
tome noncondueting substance; and
they have found now and then on
plates strange marks and blnrs and
fogs which were inexplicable save on
the theory Of actinic carnations
from the body. The French discov-
erer may add some interesting infor-
nation TO what has thus long been
knownin a general way.--New York
Tribune.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
ARE THESE clacAssIAns

Two quaint daggers -ahe pair be-,
long In one sheath, and are worn
slung across the body from the right
shoulder-are believed % Be Circas-
sian, and are owned BY George w.
Rhoades. The bone-handIed wea~
pons have keen blades, eight inches
long. One handle Is wrapped with
brass wire, and the other with cop
per.
Circaasian. or Tcherkesses, Is .
general term applied 20 the north
western group Of peoples inhabising
the region Of the Caucasus, nov in.
cluded in Prussian territory. There
are many tribes and the blood Ia
much mixed. They have few manu-
features, bnt they have skill in maxi
ing rugs, weapons and the like.
Many Of their women have decided
beauty. Circassians are brave and
hospitable, but vindicfiyc.
Their subjugation was completed
in 1864, when many thousands Of
them emigrated TO Turkey.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
IS GARDEN OF EDEN MYTH
Science and Poetry Clash In Deter
mining the Status Of Oar
Forbearss

Carlyle turned his back upon
Huxley on the streets of London be-
cause Huxley had taught that man.
kind had an ape-like ancestor. Why
is such a thought uncongenial and
lepelling? No doubt that it is 80,
John Burroughs writes in the Allan
tic. There is no poetry or romance
in it as there is IN the Garden OF
Eden myth. If we could look up to
pur remote progenitors instead OF
down, il we could see them clothed
In light and wisdom instead OF
clothed IN hair and bestiality, how
much more enticing and comforting
he prospect would bel But we sim
ply cannot, we must see them down
a long, darkening and forbidding
prospect, clothed in low, animal
forms and leading low, animal lives
IA prospect that grows more and
more dim till it is lost IN the abyss
Of geologic time.
Carlyle would have none Of it'll
The Garden Of Eden story had more
beauty and dignity. That this
backward glance Ger travelled
roads" repels US is no concern of
science. It repels as because we re-
gard it from higher and fairer es-
iate. Go back there and look up, let
The monkey see himself as man III
he were capable Of ~, and what
would his emotions be9 The prehis-
toric man living n caves and
clothed in SKINS, If we go no further
back, is not a cheering person to
contemplate. And his hairy, low
proved forbears IN Tertiary times
can we see ourselves in themf 1t
makes 8 vast difference whether We
zee the past as poetry or see it as
science. In the Bible and in Whit
man We see Il as poetry, Ia Darwin
we see il as science.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
JUNE THE MARRIAGE MONTH
lts General Selection 10 Simply the
Survival Of Ore OF ths Oldest
superstltlone.

The superstitions relating 10 mar
rage are perhaps the queerest Of ali
superstitions. Even the custom Of
the bride tossing her bouquet to the
bridesmaids is pure superstition.
though we scarcely consider it such
since it is SO universally in vogue
Even this superstition does not COM
pare with some Of the others.
Our forefathers believed in mag
ical inyocations, love philters and
fastings June was then, as now,
the month of months. The Romans
considered the most fortunate month
Of the year for the season OF mar
rage was June.
II there happened to be full
moon on the wedding day this was
especially fortunate. They also be-
lieved that It meant woe to the
couple married in May, and this
month was always avoided If pos
sible because il was believed that
then the people united in marriage
would be under the influence Of spir-
its adverse to happy households.
In those days the marriage was
never considered fortunate If the
bridal party, in going to church, met
monk. a priest, a hare, dog, a
cat, a lizard, or serpent; while all
would 60 well II it were a wolf,
spider or a toad.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
PRACTICAL MEN ON FACULTY
Educators In South American unlvsr-
sltles Have More Than knoNE
edge Of Written Lore.

Professors in the universities
throughout South America are often
men who practice their professions
at the same time ae they teach. Law
yers, doctors, engineers, architects.
newspaper men, publishers and edi-
TORS make up the faculty. says Or.
Edgar L. Brandon, who has Just ~
turned to Washington after a year
spent in the study Of educational IN
stitutions in South America. These
men teach probably only three or
four hours a week, but they come
right in from the actual practice Of
their profession TO do this. They
are all men Of considerable learning
and high regulations in their conn
munities. The best physicians, the
best lawyers. and even the high state
officials all willingly accept profess
aorships in any Of the colleges. This
lends certain dignity TO the inssi-
tutions which is sometimes lacking
in the United States IN spite Of our
better teaching methods. These
men, Of course. cannot make d live
ing from teaching alone, but shey
combine their own profession with
teaching in order 60 supplement
their income. in proportion 20 the
time given 70 teaching, professors
are better paid in Latin America
than in ehis country.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18

Wh@a ans amela 81 q couple of
gsF@okIyn youngsters Last called n1
gha household sharoof thay form
cnFa no brought stir hlm acme placeu
oe candy. ufleh mere given 90 tho
sSsaia gigE GO divide uith her brother.
G.Asng an@ naeie summoned ghis
child 20 sne Giving Foom ard asked:
Marie. uhen POS divided those ave
eseeea Of candy uitn your brother. die
you give bin tho and q half piecssY-
mo. afr. aald Marie 4 aAu they
@agen's going 20 come ons even. %
sse ono before . began 20 divide -~s
LiDplncDgF's Magazine
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18

Tna SaEic lac gn that you mnee
take everything win . grain Of salt
Julius Caesar uas renowned FOR
hfs great strength. Bia shreu bTidgs
oegoaa cha Rhine
The sodisc Is sne 800 Of the shy
uheTe lions. goafn aud other animals
50 after they ara dead
The Fhnrls@es were people vhs
alhe6 10 show on their goodness Dr
grnyln6 70 synonyms
An abstract noun IN eomeshina
goR cane acn when yen ara looking ng
H9v
~AiRm0raical symbols age Hse0 uhea
you 90 NOS Anow unAs you ara talking
about ~-~ sEensmlnsssg 0axvsEa.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
LIFE SAVED BY YOUNG HERO.

BY sucking the poison from a
wound in his brothers foot, inflicted
by copperhead snake, Roller Driy-
er, q I2-year-old boy Of Rockingham
county, Va, few days ago saved a
life. The boys we're in the noun
tain hunting squirrels when the older
one, IA years of age, was bitten. Ta-
king in the situation in a moment,
the younger boy ripped off his sus-
penders and tied them tightly
around his brothers ankle to stop
the circulation Of blood and then APP
piled himself to extracting the
venom. Making his brother COM
Portable, the little hero ran down the
mountain, where he summoned his
parents and the physicians.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
CHILDREN STRONG At BIRTH
Are Capable Of Sustaining Their
Whole Weight BY One Finger fer
Astonishing length Of Time.

Medical men assert that, accord
ing to well-conducted tests, ii Is
shown that the newborn babe il rel
atively much stronger than a full
grown man. The muscles Of the
forearm are astonishingly vigorous.
A few hours after birth a baby sus-
pended by its finger to stick or to
the finger of grown person can sus-
tain itself in the air for about ten
seconds-in the case of particularly
strong infants for 50 long q period
as thirty seconds.
When four days old an appreciate
increase in the infants strength may
be noticed, and the time during
which it can thus sustain itself Is
about 21z minutes for % per cent.
Of babies. The maximum is at
tanned in two weeks. Few infants
can chang on" for more than 1I2
minutes, although il is Of record
that one exceptionally developed
child remained suspended for 2
minutes and 80 seconds by bis right
hand. After that he continued to
hang on with his left for IS seconds
longer.--Harper's Weekly.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
FLEETINo SHADE.

asBy Jove, am glad 10 see you
looking so gay and festiyel'' said Mr..
Olde Friend. ~You were all in
black the last time / saw you"
seYes," demurely replied Mrs.
Brown, who had just taken second
husband; 'Fbut il wasn't q fast
black."-Judge.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
a MIxup.

$50 il aeerns when you started to
thrash your wife, she armed herself
with the rolling pin and whipped
you first How do you explain
that ?"
81 guess il was because she beat
me TO it"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
THE GUN MIGHT HELP.

Footpad with revolver Give
me your money, quick
Married Victm-Certainly, my
good man. Come with me and we'll
ask my wife for it.--Boston Eve
ming Transcript
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18

The Professor-You know the
banana and the potato are almost
identical in chemical composition7
The Student Yes, though: So
@What made you think so ~
Because one locks like a pill and
the other looks like capsule"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18

Tha Foz. the vessel IN which the
ate Sir Leopold Ac1ilneock made his
discovery Of kbe fae9 81 Sir John
Franklin and hin companions. has been
urecked on the Greenland coast. In
recent yeaFs she has been employed
Dg the Danish Greenland authorized
N coastal frfpa
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
FINANCIAL

Dick--Say, Jack, lend me $40.
will your want 10 go on my va
cation.
Jack-Ten dollars / haven't got
ten cents. ] have just got back
from mine.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
ACCOUNTED FOR.

He-She didn't look as If she was
having a good time at the party.
She looked bored.
She-How do you know2
He-Wasn't with her nearly the
whole EVENING"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
AS THE SAYING 10.

"Can you tell me what is desired
most BY baseball pitchers and mar
ried women ?"
IL give it up7~
"sPerfcct control
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
FITTING RECEPTION.

~How did your wife take your
mothers hint about her houseclean-
ingY
"she brushed by the subject with
a sweeping denunciation."
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
PHONETIC OCCUPATION.

'1es funny name they give the
man you hire for an automobile"
"Why SOP"
II never saw one doing any SHOW
ing"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
IRRELEVANT.

The Husband-If ] should die.
will you ever marry agajn9
His Wife Tan actress) What viii
your dying have to do with it, dear
est Puck.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
GOING SOME.

"In India brides OF twelve are not
uncommon.
81 do not expect to equal that rec
ord" said the summer belle, "but
90 far I've been the fancee Of six. !"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
FINDING 1T.

''What do you want, young man ?"
Il come to you, looking for an
opening, air"
''There's the door directly back Of
YOU"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
THAT KIND.

@Have you been following the
news from Hayre de Grace?"
@Yes; it makes racy reading.v
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
TO DARE TO DO IT.

She--Wait Q moment, dear. |
want to give an order to the cook.
Z Hs--0h, you brave little woman I
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18
3sttits &.ls Safee w e:..' =. = T..

Never do kaythinK concerning tbs
eecsisude % uhleh yoa have douoe-
--Pliny,
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18

CuaEs ITCHING SKIN DISEASES.
gn4sss Czrssasfualsa stne8 Ifxklaa A. azzfs
~ uAln snsnoxl. All 1ruRa lzsn is and s1e Az
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1912-10-18

~Tf@g husband Is seM mnda man.
-she'o aure % anaiss % alters
aoan