The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-03-14
HOT TALK.

One of the gags of the professional
funnyists and the ground and lofty
iokesmiths for the past forty years or
70 has appertained to the man who in
guireS on a hot day, Is it hot enough,
Cor your" observed the man with the
~Drotruding chin and the deep, hoarse
voice.
We'll, 1 want that gag Cancelled.
scratched, written off, daubed out, cut
sway, Topped and sent to the b~oneyard
along with the Observation-Disclosures
at-the-picnic joke, he yoang-fellow-,
who-stays-late screech and sew-a-but-
ton-on-my-shirt thing n a whole lot
OF other passe and decrepit ones that
ought to have been wiped away long
before Artemus Ward and Josh Billings
caShed in.
What's the matter with the mai
Who asks il it is not enough for you,
anyhow? What's wrong about his ques-
tion? Why shouldn't he ask If it's hot
enough for you? Why should he be q
target for all these gaggists who pick a
little thing like that UP and mastlcate
on it for a hundred years or SO, till
everybody who reads just the first line
knows the old thing by heart, no mat
ter in what different kind of way it's
twisted?
IF the day is hot. why shouldn't a.
man say so?
When the days cold we bleat about
it and discuss it and comment on 1t and
compare thermometers and brag about
how cold it is on our Second-Story porch
and make a whole peck of conversation
in general about it, don't we?
IF we're staked to a big heap of
snow we gnaw the blanket about that,
too, don we, and tell each other how
high it is in drifts and on the level,
and how our suburban car butted
through the tallest drift of all, and how
we had to shovel a path out the kitchen
way, and how we like to've lost our
lives trying to get home, and all that
sort of gay snow poliXity, don't we,
hey?
If the rain comes Town pretty steady
and powerful, we're there with right
hefty stories, aren't we, about how we
| couldn't see our hands before us for 1t
out our way, n after while we drift
back to the times when the heavy rains
and melting snow in the mountains
made the floods during which skiffs
We're seen on Pennsylvania avenue, and
we're Observation-Disclosures
With all kinds and manner of splels on
the rain question, aren't we, l ask
again?
IF there's a nifty hail storm, we
prattle no end, don't we, o the size
of the hailstones in front OF our mouse,
and about what narrow escape our fox
terrier mutt had from being killed by
being hit by one of them when he fool
ishly scampered out into the yard to get
a bone, and how the rattle of the stones
on the roof sounded like the volleying
of iles-We'r there, are we not, with
an endless chain of conversational junk
about that hail storm, are we not?
And when we're blanketed by an I'M
usual fog, don't we get out on to the
gabfest firing line, and stake each other
to more or less fanciful stories about
the thickness of it out in u vicinage,
and how one of our young ones came
near getting lost trying to get home
from the grocery. to which he'd been
sent to get a bar of soap through that
fog, and how when we Struck a match
1t didn't light up a quarter of an inch
of radius and refused to more thar
sputter. ~anyway-we converse largely
and expansively through out chapeaus
about the big fog, don't we?
"Uh-huh. All right.
Their what's the matter with a. mar
asking if it's hot enough for you! Hea'
is weather, isn't it? It's part of the
climatic game, I suppose? Then why
should it be barred in the betting? NhJ
should the gaggists have been all these
years with the pleasant-spoken ant
good-natured chap who. Just as a sort
of greeting tina comes natural to him
asks you If it's hot enough for you?
You don't want him TO say, when n
meets you on a gizziing day, that your
wearing a bum hat or tnat your zee
are not mates. or that your troussri
need pressing, or that he hears that yoI
were selsed the ffrqft last night, or tha
he wishes your wife I'D stop practicini
on the piano for me rest Of sum
rner-do yG92
Wen, ne aoasase 10 any OF thes
things, He tgasG up agps asks you, 10 b
<s-zfu 49, 50 -.3cS~ 4 ESQ FAssaE Of Gay. II IL