The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1912-09-11
THE "0LD BOY"
ON THE SHELF
WaIiace's Farmer Gives Few Sugges.
tions as to How to Care for the
"OId Boy" Who Has Retired.
DON'T FEED HIM TOO MUCH
Make Him Raise Chickens or Make
Garden-Bees Will Make Him
Exercise That He Needs.

fought yellow jackets when he struck
an old stump or root, and really en-
joyed his victuals three times day,
slept soundly at night, and in the day
time INDUCED in loves young dream
We hope we have done him some
good.
Today we deal with the ''old boy
on the shelf. Nobody put him on the
shelf He climbed there himself when
he left the farm and moved to town.
Perhaps this seemed the best thing
to do, and possibly it was. He was too
old to work, and the boys and girls
had married and gone into business,
or were teaching school, and he could
not get a hired hand to suit; or his
good wife felt that she had worked
long enough and wanted to be near
church, possibly near some OF the
grandchildren. Possibly the "old boy"
had made his pile and left the farm
to give the boys chance. SO ne
goes to town and gets On the shelf.
1t must not be assumed that the "old
boy" is dead or dying, because he is
on the shelf. There may be a good
deal of life in him yet. IT, alas, he
should become a widower, he might
surprise you. Somebody must look
after him, however, for no matter
how efficient he may have been on the
farm, he is quite helpless in town.
What good he will do in the future
will depend on how he is cared for.
It's this that concerns us and prompts
us, ourselves no longer young, to suS-
gest the proper care of the ''old boy
if you are to keep him with you Tor
long.
The most important thing is to see
that he does not eat too much. he
was a good feeder on the farm. he
had to be- for he worked hard and
long. He is not doing much now, and
is very likely to eat as much as ne
ever did. If he does, he will soon be
a dead "one," and in his grave in
stead of on the shelf. Don't let him
eat much meat, either chicken or beef
steak or ham. A little breakfast bac-
on in the morning won't hurt him.
The "old boy" will probably ask
why. My dear old boy, if you eat as
YOU used to when you were hard at
work out of doors, as you now have
no opportunity to work 1t on, your
liver will become swollen and distend-
ed until you will wonder what makes
that lump on your side. The nver is
the organ that holds the fat ready for
use when needed in the future, and
you will have no use for it, the fat
not the liver. Your kidneys will DO
their best to get rid of the stuff, par
ticularly the albuminoids portion OF
it; but if you keep eating so much, 1t
will finally get discouraged and give
up. Then you will send for the doc
tor, and he will look wise and tell you
that you have nephritis, which IN
plain English is Bright's disease. You
will likely want to run to some patent
medicine guaranteed to cure you.
These guaranteed cures that you BUY
at the drug store for Bright's disease,
diabetes and kindred diseases are all
liars. BY and by you will get dis
couraged; someone will persuade you
that the only thing for you is a change
of climate, and you will perhaps go to
California, where your hard earned
money will vanish like pancakes
from your plate at breakfast when
blowing corn barefoot.
If you don't go away, you will not
take much exercise, and will be IN
clined to associate with lot OF other
"old boys" and you will all talk
about your ailments and other trou-
bles until the real joy of life will be
gone. Not exercising to amount to
much, you will become sluggish, and
unclean inside, no matter what you
will be outside. Noxious bacteria
will swarm all through your lin
nards," ninety million more or less
per cubic centimeter. Then your art
cries will begin to harden, and you
will pass off suddenly, there will be
a funeral, and the neighbors will say:
isn't it singular that so many retlr-
ed farmers die so soon after coming
to town, while their wives live on
1t isn't strange at all. The average
farmers wife keeps on working. II
she doesn't have work, she makes
some. Retired farmers don't. AS
matter of fact they usually have moth
ing to do.
If you want to keep the "old boy
with you, you must make him take
exercise. You may have to prod him
into taking it. Taunt him with the
fact that he can't lie on his back in