The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1912-11-15
Wife No I
By NJ. QUAD
Copyright. 1912. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

berry swamp" replied Uncle Abnes
Shorts rs some one in the crowd NJ
the pastOfice put the question. but
I've heard sadder news that that to.
day yes. Il good deal sadder. Is 1t
that any one we all know is dead!
No. but perhaps it was better for him
II he WAS dead. l don't want to keep
you in suspense. and l will therefore
say that George Green got married to
day for the second time.
Il hain't looking for anybody to be
shocked dead at the news. 1t has jest
Get me to thinking and aroused a heap
of r%ecOllections. You all know that l
host my wife three years ago. and aft
CT a year l married again and am now
living with No. = | reckon it's also
purity we'll known that No. 2 bosses
the roost.
''Tbere was folks in this village. gen.
tlemen. who said that Ill grieve my
self to death over my loss, anu there
were others who said I'd be shopping
around after No. 2 within a year. AS
for me. | felt that ! was wasting
away and was powerfully surprised
q day to find myself eating heartily
of q boiled dinner. From that time !
began to pick up. but for months after
ward ] had no more thoughts OF mar
1ying ag'in than Lemuel Goodheart has
Of putting his foot ag'in a hot stove.
1t seemed to ME that the man who lost
such an angel of u wife as l had de-
nerved to be shot for thinking of mar
Eyfng ag'in.
"Jest when the idea bit me that Id
better look around IL little for another
woman ! can't say. I think it was after
I'd cooked my own meals. made my
wi bed. .sewed on my own buttons
and washed my W shirts for seven
or eight months. Then the feeling
stole over me that there was room in
the house for another. It sorter skeer-
ed me at first. but I'm saying that it's
q feeling you a get used to in a day
or two. AS 500 as l began to Won
der II ! really ought to marry ag'in
found myself advancing q dozen rea.
sons why l should.
Well. it hain't no secret that l look.
ed around aud found the Wilder Glenn.
She might have been looking around
at the same time, but I'm not going to
say that such is the a At first 1t
was a question with me whether a
widower could love for the second
time. Within a week after had hit
the widder's trail that question was
settled In the affirmative. found my
self a heap more in love than OH the
first occasion. All Of you was kind
enough to say that l made u burned
fool of myself. and. though l couldn't
zee it then, I'm admitting most Of 1t
now.
Gentlemen. l was two long months
h%esitating over asking the wilder to
be mine. and yet the rest of you was
saying that she'd jump at the chance.
Mebbe you was right know that
when I finally managed to get up the
courage hadn't hardly got my mouth
open before she says yes.
"And now N the real pint. I'd
been boss of the house, same as all of
you are boss of yours. Wasn't it nat
eral for me to keep right on bossing?
Had the thought Of surrendering the
reins Of government occurred to me?
Ii q man and a husband to be treated
like a child or a slave? At the first
g0-o6 her bossing was a novelty. and
/ rather liked it and encouraged 1t. |
was still in love, you see. After about
month the novelty wore of. and |
began to assert myself. I took the
bossing business into my own hands.
What. follered? Why. that wife got
right up on her hind legs and made
the air blue for forty rods around. She
got out ten words to my one. When
/ took her by the a to sit her down
and hush her up she lit into my hair
and pulled it out by handfuls.
Gentlemen. who bosses the roost?
Mrs. Shorts!
'sWho handles the cash? Mrs. Shorts!
."'Who tells me when ! can go and
when l shall Gomez Mrs. Shorts!
"Who gives me liberty to draw my
bEeath? Mrs. Shorts!
I'm only telling you what you ell
know and what is the gossip Of the
town. She made up her mind when
she became No. 2 that she'd be the
boss. and she's carried 1t out. That's
the way with all No. rs. No. ! knuck-
jes down and lets you do the bossing
and thinks it's all right. but No. 2 is
no such chicken. She intended to get
the whip hand when she married you,
and she's going to keep it or raise such
~ row that you'll wish you was in
your grave.
.Understand. gentlemen. that I'm
Iaaying nothing agin Mrs. Shorts.
shes hner'n silk. o Lord. but such
<pickled peaches as she does put up!
And apple sass-it makes you grin
from your neck to your heels! Just
1one Of the incest women in the coun-
and I hope that she'll outlive me
~ twenty years. but I have had to use
inef 40 an illustration. She married
I,ne to be boss. and she ID boss, same
IL all the other No. "a ! hain't ex-
llctly saying that the man who loses
Flo. 4 shouldn't look for q No. 2, but
E'm saying that IL he does he ought
- know what's coming to him and
$50 hnslv ho anro In 0of Two A. arin