Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

thought that Miss Maize Bibbins. the
new trimmer at the millinery parlOrs,
will get the prize as Elmer Jones has
already bought So worth of tickets.
A strained nurse from Chicago has
came to Jake care of Grandma Prin-
gle.
This is good weather for planting.
-Four funeral since Sunday.
Wide Awake Hose Company was
called out last Wednesday. IInos
Hands celluloid collar had took fire
while he was sitting in the sun.
Elmer Jones went over to- West Hic-
keyyille Tuesday to see William Jen-
nings Bryan change cars. Hank
Tun1ns has bought a nickel's worth OF
washers to drop in the horseless piano
at the Golden Nugget Buffet.
his is getting to be quite a met.
ropolitan place. Enos Hand TuesdaNed
at West Hickeyville. Calling cards
1T a homel!i galoot with a face like a
horse and buggy always marries the
prettlest girl in our town:
Grandpa Bibbins hasn't had his
whiskers Trimmed since the Chicago
fire. He found a robins nest in them
last Sunday.
Uncle Ezra Harkins. who is the old
est man In II midst at this writing,
has bought a second hand bicycle and
Will stump the country selling crayon
portraits. 1T will be funny If he don't
get those lace curtains of his wrapped
up in the wheel and break his old fool
neck. Good second hand teeth with
haircloth finish and second hand what
not for sale at this office.
Hank Tumms says Old Man Purdy
can beat any man in this country
playin' scven-up. We won't name any
names. but we think the man who SAYS
thnt is a liar. OLD Man Purdy had
the misfortune to sprain his wrist while
pitching quates back of the post office
last week and has been incapacitated
from following his business. which is
whiting back of the stove in lib
bits grocery.
Lem Whipple is getting pretty we'll
acquainted down to the city. He can
call three ~bartenders and one police
man by their first names. Elmer Jones
says there is a swell lot OF trirnmers
in them. millinery stores down to the
city and he knows for he is an epicure.
BY ginger if old Diogenes should
come around here lookin' for an honest
man somebody would steal his Ian
tern before he got as far as Alb Rem
frew's sawmill. Bud Hicks is back
from Sing Sing where he had a steady
job since Deacon Pringle missed his
roam colt five year, Ago..
Hiram jerks. our landscape paint
er. ! much on painting animals.
He says it is hard to paint ii boss
Tor YOU can't get the critter tn stand
stlli ong enough. Besides, the paint
fills up the pores in the HOSTS skin
So ne cant SWEET. A dog bit Hank
dog Is liable to die from the rabbits
superinduced by acute alcoholism. The
C~latlOn4is CLOSED today for the editor
IS having his pants pressed down to
the taylOrin' shop.
Rev. Hanks said he was going to
GXcf3nQa nr11pifS u-it1n tho rn.rt~.
owe to West Hickeyville last Sunday
but everybody that went to church
was f0oied as the same old pulpit was
there. Preachers can joke once in q
while. But there is one consolation.
The West H~ickeyville fellers was Just
as badly fooled as we was. Miss Pansv
IiDDitts sent down to the city for some
luinine and they sent 1t in capsules.
She says She don't like to get quinine
n a way as 1t look too long to shuck
the dunn things before taking 'em.
Folks all thought she was eatin' pea
nuts.
The other night. when they had COM
pany to dinner, Hold Peters wife told
him that 1t wasn't etiquette to set
down to the table III his shirtsleeves;
Y Hod said he'd be ding swizxled
y ne was gOins to tax his shirt off.
etiquette or no etiquette.
The only way to get the laugh on
q magazine editor Is to tear up your
manuscript and throw it in the fire
before sending it.
Many a successful poet got his start
writing epithets for tombstuns.
Ansel Jimkcy. u tonsorial artist
and leader of the band and orchester.
busted the G string on his violin the
.otner day. n says there will be no
more music in this burg until he runs
across q stray cat somewhere.
hiram Huggins has got = new oat-
mobile. which he calls . ~''runabout."
II Will run about forty rod. and then
they nave to get out nj fix IT,
-
THE BORE.
He stands on one foot for q while.
Then stands upon the other
Ana stares at you as though you were
Indeed his lOng-lost brother.
a aug g him is naueht but Greek.
md sticks around and takes your time
Just when you sorely reed It.
He cuts in with q word or two
And never falls to blunder
Right In upon your train Of thought
And knock It all to thunder.
When putting salt upon the tail
go some fleet Inspiration.
You're interrupted by his harsh
Urwelccme exclamation
About the weather we have had.
Or else about the pennant.
Until You feel ~ though you would
e bughouse tenant.
He Z concerned about your health
And lays you're looking sickiy.
And Il you are not sick at all
He makes Q 90 right quickly.
He : = thing to do
And not q single worry,
g no one ever sAW him yet
sNhers he Was in 4 hurry
h no business OF his own
Tina Hso0dS attention badly