The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1912-02-24
Y. c. I. j. Department
Mr. DooIy on the Ominous Size Of the
Prohibition Wave In the south

IAN, I tell ye something, Hinnissy, il
amt goin' to be very long before this
here wave iv PROHIBITION comes up
here an de1uges ye an me- Amy day
We may look TO see boots an shoes, or
more prob'bIy books, in tn window
where ye now see tn stately rows "
bottles that ye think are filed with
tempting drink but raaIy have nav
thin in thin but tn wather / filled
thin with tn year afthsr tn big fire
I'm merchant, / am, an I'll sell some
thing. I was cut out be nature to sell
people things that they first took be-
cause they made thin feel SUPERIOR
TO other people an that later became
a necessity to thin. Whin 7 bought
this thing I wear IN me shirt front.
that no joo1er or other robber wud take
FIR a dimon pin, / got it because it
raised me up a notch above me fellow
men. But afther wearin' it a little
while / cud no more do without If thin
without me undhershirt. that no wan
liver sees onless they peck up me arm.
SO 1t is with nearly all tn things that
people buy. firm neckties to autymo-
bills, includin' drink II I can't sell
booze I'll sell false hair, I'll sell cuff
buttons. Til sell hair lie, I'll sell pat
I
sell joolry. I'll sell brown-stone
houses, fast horses. or nommynations
to office. I deal in pride. I will sell
anything except tn necessities Nv life
II 1 own amy w Thin I'll put thin in
basket on tn counter an say: Take
wan
at think twill come? Faith, I wud-
dent wondher. / see what Hogan calls
portfnts iv TIL times. TIL day was whin
ivry wan that wanted a pollytickal job
asked tn privilege iv hangin' litthy
graft iv himsi1f in me window. 1 let
thin do it because il hurt thin with
many iv me customers, who said: TIL
niver vote FIR that robber' But, now
adays. be Hivens. no wan wants his
pitcher hung IL saloon They're
thryin' 10 get Thin pasted up in tn
churches Tho re getting on to US
I'll tell We a Secret fv tn trade I'd
rather have tn Father Mathew So
| ciety behind me thin tn entire saloon
vote.
| .I wudden't mind II prohibition did
break thru. In his heart tn thruest
prohybitionist is a saloonkeeper. Bet
/ Their thin annywan else he knows that
what's his meat is everybody e1se's
pizen. Hayin long assocyated with tn
dhrinkins classes, I think less iv thin
more an more ivry year. TIL drink
makes thin too fond iv thimsilves. As
me frind Mulrooney tn printer says.
/ tn drink knocks tn dot off their little
/ an they think they're upper case. A
( man comes in here whin I'm about
ready to pull down tn blinds, leans on
I tn cheese, an sings: My bonnie lies
over tn icean.' thin says: What's that?'
whin I suggest that he go home, an
4 fin'1ly ends by me weepin' over his
/ throubles I know what's tn matter
with him. He's thinkin' about himself
too much. I know that his voice
sounds like suds escapin' firm tn kit
chen sink. an I can lick him in a
1aughin' mesi1f sick over his family
vie tn bit. He's got himsi1f painted
like a combination iv Melba, Jeffrys
an tn Two Orphans, an anybody that
don't believe he's right is Iookin' fr
throuble. Faith, if amy PROXY bition-
ist thinks it's pleasant presfdin' over
this here Palace av Rum he's welcome
to tn Job. II I was an insanity ex-
pert, instead iv bein' on tn level as ]
am, I'd commit half me patients to an
asylum"
But can We liver enforce prohybi-
tion?" asked Mr. Hennessy.
Well" said Mr.. Dooley. Father
Kelly says tn best they've done so far
is to make drink wrong to take, hard
to get, an turrble bad whin We get
lit"