Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-10-24
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Penlleton about . IL. M. al.u went up
to- the Jackson home. The house was
lighted. Jackson was surprised to find
Mrs. Jackson waiting for him and was
further surprised to observe u rather
stern expression OH her face.
She met him AT the door.
where's The wonlan". she asked,
acidly.
What woman?!" spluttered jackson.
This woman you refer to in this
message said Mrs. Jackson. handing
her astonished husband the telegram
he had sent.
Ii read: Coming in the morning
woman With With me"
do you give gas hcrec" asked 4
Withholding man who had rushed into
a dentists.
we do" replied the dentist.
Does it put a fellow i" steep?"
lit does"
"Sound asleep. so YOU can't wake him
Yes"
You could break his jaw or gouge
out his eye. and he wouldn't feel ity'
"llow long does he sleepy"
"The physical i~nsensibility produced
by lnlnling gas lasts q minute, Or
probably II little less"
II expect that's long enough. Got
ii all ready for a fellow to take?'
Yes" take a seat in this chair ana
show me your tooth"
Tooth! Nonsense!" said the ex-
cited caller. beginning rapidly to re-
move his coat and vest. ~ want you
Now said the lawyer who was
conducting the cross examination, 81
will ask YOU whether you have ever
been in .tail?"
II have not" replied the witness.
Have YOU ever been indicted by =
grand jury"
Have YOU ever been arresled?"
NO"
"Have you ever rum away with an
other mans wife,"
Il never have"
"Have o ever cheated anybody in
n horse trade?"
Il " never had a horse"
"Ah! You arc cvading my question:.
l thought we should find you out SOON
err or later. You are excused"
Dan Cunningham was a town char
acter in a Southern community. BY
trade he was a chimney builder and
fireplace member. One day he was
doing a job of repairing for a lady of
the town. 1t was in the house cleaning
season, and in the mex room two eld-
n discussing religious topics MT the !.
same time. Their voices came through
the open door.
Use q shoutin' Meht'dist myself.
was saying. "When my time comes
Ise goin' straight to de bosom of Faith
er Abraham"
Madam" said Dan. I'm thinkin',"
Thinking what?" said his employer.
TIM thinking madam. what Father
Abraham will be sayin'-walkin' round
heaven with Il dead niger in his
bosom!"
II Declare" said Mrs. Cu,nrox. after
making a round of calls. ..all these
buffers must la unpired baseball
games.
"lmpolite?'
mo. Polite. but positive. They
seem to have got into the habit of say
ing everybody is out.
q
At all stages in his career King
George has made Il point of composing
made at the g of 16. was a failure.
1t was In the form of Il reply to an
imaginary toast of welcome proposed
by a foreign host. The part of host
was taken by he princes tutor and
was proposed in German. and the royal
lad. of course. mad to respond in the
same tongue. For a long time he could
not find his tongue but when he had
found 1t he blurted out in plump ana
plain English. Ladies and Gentlemen.
VI AZ lulOI OGOukHI HIS
speech to an abrupt end by Il none.
too complimentary ms and his
somewhat angered the prince. He flung
down II book he was holding, shouted
that he had done with such cackle;''
and, striding from the room, slammed
the door behind him.
-
The physician in Mankato had
agreed that during their ,chautauqua I.
assembly they would employ q call
boy. and each was TO pay his share
of the expense. This boy was to call
n doctor who was wanted, without
disturbing the speaker. az it was en-
barrasing to him and looked as IL
they were doing it to advertise with
out expense. So it all went we'll until
the afternoon when Strickland w.
Gilliland spoke. AS he was talking
away a certain doctor had a call from
the platform, and he walked out rath-
who knew of the arrangement laughed
or snickered. and the speaker got it.
he said: Don't laugh. folks. That
Is the way my brother got his start"
And everybody roared.
Finley Peter Dunno. creator Of Mr.
Dooley, was dining with a friend at a
New York restaurant. Rice birds were
served. The tiny cadhvers. picked and
lean. We're brought in upOn large slices
of Toast ~. =E, J,
Poo little things" said the. host.
Seems a shame to kill 'em-don,t it,.
How do you suppose they ever murder
enough rice birds to make n mess?' :.
dunno turned v an inhn1tesfnai
specimen with his fork.
Il don't know" he said-'unless they
use insect powder"
Louis Hin and a party of Official.
Were akin n neck nj tho afh tfnn