The evening world., 1912-06-07
TWO KINDS O. JAGS,
JUDGE? WHY, THERE
ARE THOUSANDS
Crying, Running, Silent, Wob-
bly,, Steady, Hilarious and
$780,, Double Jags.

Sousoiogy savan's arc amazed ~ the
judgment OF the Brockton. Mass. Juris,
who declared from tho bench that jays
can be grouped under two heads. to wit.
tho muddlc-souse and tho Sooiloose-
souse. Ills Honor Judge Lloyd u.
White OF Brock:on declared that while
there were many variants to be rcck-
state there were only two major d.
visions. the jag that went to the feet
and the lag that went 10 the head.
Students OF higher dipsomania aver
that Judge white erred grlcvousiy in
dividing intoxication into only two main
catagories Prof. Muddleheirner OF
Potts-Ptckieburgcr. Pilsener. Germany.
In his recent treatise on the subject OF
emotional alcoholism states positively
that there are at least nine main d.
visions OF jag and 7,62 intsr-sfivisions
For instance, there are the weeping jag.
the running jag. tho silent jag. the up
roarious jag. the wobbly jag. the steady
jag. the duplicate jag and tho sugges-
two jag. all worthy to be called head
line or caption Jays. with these nine
a. q working basis the Pilsensr scien-
W. splits the field into 1869 inter-
divisions. and II he lives long enough
no may spit up his inter-divisions into
sub-inter-divisions. after the German
method
Al the very outset Prof. Muddie-
heimer refuses to admit that there In
any worthy evidence to prove that 4
person may have . jag In his feet AMI
b cold sober above tho chin.
JAoe etUciDATEo ~ THE JAG
RicULrURAL EXPERT.
IT Il against the first principles Of
our natural laws" ciucidates the pro-
fessor. shat . man who knows his
feet are drunk oan maintain his head
In . condition Of independent sobristy.
The very fact that he knows his feet
arc misoehaving In . drunken manner
has psychic effect upon his brain. He
II sthsr nordinatsay amused to see his
fsst da6bis about beneath him or else
~ u eEegiouGey annoyed. In both
oasas he y AhaoPmAlly emotional about
IT, end this applies 70 men with or with
cut wooden O. otherwise ARTIFICIAL lsss.
~ eos the head being IN an alcoholic
whtra wAiis the fsst are absolutely un-
affected. suoh . hypothssis 10 equally
absurd. How In donnsrwsttsr can Q
mas - fAs gonssknSw what his feet
ere doinsf
Tn my sspasass major division Of .
steady ~ DO not predicate any such
condition. Ny steady jag u . jag stsadis ID
BY stimuisnts because he 10 naturally
wobbly. But he cannot remain steady
bsyond . certain stage Though he will
remain steady through Two phases. the
same phases during which the wobbly
jas 10 wobb,iest In the third phase he
win jo1n the wobh,y jag and become
sven wobblisr than the wobbly jaG 81
his (ths wobbly 5aTO wobblisst. Auto
suggestion and transfiguration OF inter
circumstances plays "a important
part in this. especially 20 With brandy
drinkers. In the case OF beer drinkers
super-suggestion and the subliminai
| element of dual self preponderates.
With beer drinkers the steady Jag does
not become wobbly until past the fourth
phase and by that time he 10 probably
under arrest"
NOW 10 THE Professor SOBER
OR sousEof
Further on in his treatise Prof. Mud
dishsimsr becomes . trine (seeminsiy
| to the lay mind involved. He devotsi
an entire chapter to learned discus
sion of the exact meaning of tho vert
to wobble and winds up the remark.
| AHA ann ri,, aim mat In tha hi9hAat n<afs