davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27
Cal, Missed Hi, CALLING.

Magistrate Joe Call believes in set
Ting trivial cases amicnbly. and II doz.
Ell times day he is called upon to net
an umpire. mediator or arbiter. as the
cnse may be.
As the sequel to a nelghbors' row
recently an irnte woman proceeded to
the magistrates office. demanding
warrant for the arrest of her next door
neighbor and the husband. The pros,
ecutor. after paying the $3.50 which n
warrant costs. chuckled with satisfac-
tiob m the constable went to arrest
the pair designated ~ defendants. 81,
when the hearing was held Magis-
trate Gail tried hard to smooth things
down: but. In spite of bis friendly Of
fees. the two women glared at each
other and punctuated every minute
with some TART remark. In the course
Of events the magistrate sought to
have the case settled amlcably. but
the woman prosecutor was InsIstent
that she get satisfaction"
Sufficient evidence was produced to
suStain the allegation. and Magistrate
Call held the pair in $500 bail each to
keep the peace. Inasmuch as they
were without friends who could give
that security. he allowed them to sign
their own bonds and depart In pence.
This provoked the woman pros
ecutor. and after watching the depart
ing ueighbors go she turned TO Magis-
trnte Call and said:
"And THAT'S what get for my $3.50?
You're not magistrate. You ought to
be minister. "-Philadelphia Times.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27
Would Not Keep Her Back.

Snddler Sine was a droll character
and yet Of II type by no means scarce
in the rural districts Of the north of
Scotland. One morning when neigh
Dor entered his shop he was greeted
with the following:
"Man. .Teenie. had an nwfu' dream
last nicht. thocht l saw my wife
f1eein' AVA up to heaven WI a great
big pair of weengs."
AYE man, an did We no try to pu'
her back
Ma. ma: | juist clappit my hands
an cried. 'Shoo. shoe" ! was feart
she wad n.ver haze anither chance Of
settin' sac near In
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27
Got Rid Of tho Scum.

She was city bride who had never
before taken hand in housekeeping
and knew but little about things in the
kitchen. A few mornings ago she got
after the milkman.
whats the matter with your milk ?"
she said, with great vehemence.
81 don't know" he replied. what do
you find wrong with it?'
"Well." she said, "evcry morning It
is covered with a nasty yellow scum"
"And what do you do with the
scuml'
"Why. l skim 1t off, Of course. and
throw 1t in the garbage can."-Farm-
ers' Guide.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

the rod Did he stop? No: he kept on
reeling the fish In. and just rs reach
ed the waters edge the tish's head
touched the tip. The man even tried
to pull him through the ring.
Just then he saw me standing OH
shore waving my arms. He turned to
me with bewildered look and said.
"What shall do now?'
1.-The only thing you can do now"
said. lis to climb up the pole after
him."
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27
An Appetizer.

OF sporting offers made by the large
eaters Of old that made to Charles
Gustavus of Sweden when he was be-
sieging Prague is worthy of recall. A
peasant offered for the kings amuse-
mcnt to devour n large hog then and
tlierc General Koenigsmark, us runs
the tale, suggested that one with such
an appetite ought to be burned rs a
sorcerer. on which the peasant said to
the king. "Sir. II your majesty will
make that old gentleman take OF his
spurs l will eat him before l begin
the pig"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

1t is estimated that the average
duration of human life Is thirty-tliree
years. quarter of the people die dur
Ing the seventh year and half before
the seventeenth. OF every 1000 per-
sons one only reaches 100 years, six in
100 get to 65 and one In 500 to so. 1t
Is further estimated that throughout
the world 100000 die annually. 1885,
600 day, nearly 5000 nm hour, 90 a
minute. or three In every two seconds.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

1t was about a
I o OF mig h ana
about half tue
diameter Mt the
bottom. Inc tiles
get In somehow.
and I h e II they
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

over the trap. The man looked at 1t
awhile. then loosened the bottom and
let the. liies out.
Watts der matter nit you:" yelled
the exasperated and now excited Ger
man.
Nothing" replied the man as he hur-
riediy reached the door. They We're
my flies. and could do what ! wanted
with iem."-Detroit Free Press.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

to com g along
tells what occur.
red. The fisher
man had hooked
a one FOUNDER
from the way the
line strnined.
He W as not
playing the fish
at all. With rod
held struig II ii
a h cad he was
slowly and stead
lily Keeling him III.
How he managed
to hold the fish
WAS u mystery to
ME.
Presently the
fish was directly
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

The recent publication of the memoirs
Of II celebrated English university pro-
lessor, Oscar Browning. recalls Il fn-
nous epigram. said to be one OF the
mnst admirable ever composed. 1t was
perpetrated by n brilliant pupil. j. K.
Stephen. upon the professor. who was
somewhat inclined TO corpulency:
o. b., oh. be obedient
To natures stern DEGREES,
For. though YOU be but one o. n,
You may be too obosei
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

George. whit do you. have to do
when you draw some money out of a
bank?" asked an innocent young wife
"You have to put some money in the
bank beforehand" replied the hus-
band. 'That's always been my ex
periencew
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

refreshment. When he got back to his
compartment he found the Scotchman
sitting where he had left him and look
ing more dour and solemn than ever.
Its Il long, wearisome Journey" said
the Englishman when the train started
by way of making conversation.
The Scotchmnn looked ut him with
an angry frown.
$50 it ought to be-" he replied frig-
IDLY; "it costs two pounds nineteen and
ninepence'
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

Wife (whose husband, the local
mayor. has just been knighted)-Have
you heard from the man who offered
to trace our pedigree? Husbnnd-Yes;
he has found out more than enough.
Wffe-What did You pay him? Hus-
band : Fifty pounds : to hold his
tongue!-London Opinion.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27
The
Scrap Book


re had never tislied before and his
rod was new and shining with resplend-
ent varnish. l'aultIessly uttired. he
was whipping trout stream when by
some odd chance he got bite. A WRIT
er In Forest and Stream who happened
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

Two men, an Englishman and a
Scotchman, We're travelling from Aber-
deem to London in train. They
reached Carlisle without exchanging a
word, and during the stoppage there
the Englishman got out and had some
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27
A Pleasing Deduction. !.

"she asked me to guess her age"
ibid yon get 1t rightly"
''She said I did and seemed much
pleased"
"How 10 the world did you do IT,"
.why. you see happened to know
her real age Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

"My husband always is the severest
critic of the gowns wear"
"Well. Judging from what I have
heard. he has TO go some If he is."-
Chicago Record-Hernid.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27
Alover Of Liberty.

A jovial German saloon keeper who
rarely gets excited was reused out Of
his usual genial mood not long ago by
Il chap with II deformed sense Of hu-
NOR The German had one of those
big old fashioned fly traps in his place
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27
IT'S Bos-RN LUCKY 1 AM"

wor licked In n fight. an later wor
blowcd fifty feet high be premachoor
blast. When | come home Dugan's
goat butted me into tn house, an the
ouid woman wor luyin' fer me wild a
rollin' pin
AN In tn name av the saints. dc
yez call that lucky?"
Sure! Amt alive this mornln'Y'--
Cleveland Leader.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

Our Young s.rbari.n. q Play.

Father What ure you moping about
the house In this trying manner? Why
don't you go out and play with Harry
Higgins?
Ron- Because played with Harry
Higgins yesterday. and don't suppose
he's well enough yet.-Harper's Week
Y
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

Prejudice. which sees what 1t pleascs,
.nnnot zee what Is plain.--Aubrey de
We're.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27
ha Was Lucky.

An Irisliman who was always cheer
full and happy go lucky appeared on
the street one morning In II badly bat
tered condition. but still smiling and
clipper. He met n friend, and the
following dialogue ensucd:
by TIL powers. it's BORN lucky
am
.Phwy do v think so?"
81 was hit be n automobile just as
was startin' FIR til shop yistherda'
mornin. 1t made me sthagger, an a
cop pinchcd me for bein' drunk. /
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

One constant element of luck
Is genuine. solid old Teutonlc pluck.
Stick to your aim. The mongrel's hold
Will slip.
But only crowbars loose the bulldog's
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27
Geographical Views.

Western Editor Ito returned native,
What do the people down east think
Of Arizona md New Mexico as states!
Native yawning, They talk MS
though they thought each state would
send pair of Indian snake dancers
to the United States senate.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1912-04-27

Small though he looks. the jaw that new
yields
Drags down the believing monarch of
the fields.
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02
MARKET NEWS
 NEW YORK COTTON.

New York. March 1.-The English labor situation continued to hold the attention of the trade in the cotton market today and business was again very quiet but the general ruling ot prices was steadier than yesterday and the close was quiet and steady with last prices showing 8 gain of from 3 to points compared with the final figures of yesterday.
 The opening was steady at an ad- vance of to 3 points in sympathy with higher Liverpool cables, and act i've months sold up to a net gain of about to points, during the morn ing, on the relative firmness of the English market, covering by some of yesterdays sellers and moderate sup port from leading trade or Wall Street bulls Private cables attributed the advance abroad to continental buying and increased confidence in a quick settlement of the English strike through the intervention of the gov ernment and there may have been some buying and increased ecnfi- dence in a quick settlement of the English coal strike through the in tervention of the government and there may have been some buying on this view of the situation in connec- tion with continued complaints of de- layed crop preparations in the east ern belt and the absence of south ern news, or of southern trading here to indicate any increased pressure of spot cotton in the South.
 Receipts today were 6S,315 bales against 56,3SO last week and 1S,6S1 last year Today's receipts at New Orleans were ,970 against 6,166 last year: at Galveston, 1894 against G. 050 last year, and at Houston, 6,O64 against 9,516 last year
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02
ARLINGTON HOTEL ARRIVALS.

Yesterdays arrivals at the Arling ton hotel were again necessarily light as it is only when Manager Corring- ton has some departures that new guests can be accommodated. Those securing rooms were Mrs. annie w. Stanwood. Brunswick, Me; ]. E.. Tappan, Knoxville, Tenn; F. r. Bund- schen, Knoxville, Tenn; w. M. Han ney, Memphis; B. F. Cooper, Mem phis; N w. Fisher, St Louis; w. c. Cook, Bostcn.
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02
REAL ESTATE BARGAINS.

No. 1--
 Four (D lots, embracing an acre or more, two ttoeks from car line. iood four-room house on 1t in good repair. We'll Of good water at kit hen door; good fences and outhouses. shrubbery and flowers in yard; fine garden; young orchard of peaches, pears, apricots, apples plums, mul- berry and persimmons. Lots of grape vines of all varieties; fine cultivated blackberries and raspberries. Elec- tric lights in house. City water and
 sewer accessible. For quick sale will take s2,000.
 No. II.
 Four (D adjoining vacant lots in Ioaklawn Addition, fronting on Henderson avenue. 5000 will bus the four.
 No. III.
 Lot, and part of another, being 100 feet by S2S feet, with one-room house and bored well 150 feet deep, near Ostrich Farm on bench of mountain; high up, yet accessible; beautiful mountain view; surrounded by natur- al forest trees with West Mountain for background. An ideal place for health at any season by reason Of ,ense pine growth. s35O. % cash will buy.
 lNU. ".
 Two vacant lots adjoining Morris on and Bedding addition on Belding avenue. Water and sewer on street line of property. Surrounding lots cannot be bought for less than sS50 each. For quick sale s40O % will buy both lots.
 NO. V.
 One vacant lot on South avenue, in South Hot Springs. fenced, ad. joining residence of Henry Reece. Worth s25O. %. Will sell now for Sl75 cash.
 NO. VI.
 80 acres, unimproved about four niles from city on Gulpha about mile from Thoburn station on the Iron Mountain Railway, abo1t 20 acres creek bottom, 30 acres virgin timber, running water through the tract. ideal place for chicken ranch, dairy ing, truck farm, etc. s70000 will take this, worth twice the sum. Enough saw timber and wood on the tract to pay for 1t.
 NO. VII.
 40-acre tract unimproved; just this side of riler on Gardner Bridge oad. Best road in the county di- sides the tract. Surrounding prop erty we'll improved. Graded railroad through the place. New railroad will need right of way over tract. Ideal property to divide into five and ten acre tracts for truck farm, tairying etc. Only few minrtes drive from city. Will sell the tract for s1,500, worth $50 per acre. Also three small farms, about four miles from the city for rent.
 c Fl oNn LttEE r,.nnr
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02

The most common cause of insom- mia is disorders of the stomach. Chamberlain's Stpmach and Liver Tablets correct these disorders and enable you to sleep. For sale by all dealers.
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02
SOUTHERN RowLIMe AlLgYs.

The Southern Bowling Alleys. in tbe Dugan Stuart building are equip ped thoroughly for the accommoda- tion and convenience of bowlers. the alleys being regarded as modern in ever, particular. t2-3 If.
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02
MlsdELLANEvus. 5.

WE HAuL YOUR BAGGAGE AND CHECK SAME TO YOUR DESTINA- TON WITHOUT EXTRA CHARGE. CALL AT OUR OFFICE OR PHONE 2s2 COOPER BROS. LIVERY AND TRANSFER co.
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02
QUICK RELIEF FoR RHEuMATIsM
J. WExLER

Has expert workmen for cleaning, dyeing, pressing and repairing. We clean furs, fnr coats and all other wearing apparel Our work is guar anteed Office, SaS Central Phone 2132. 2-1-tf
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02

ARLINGTON TACK STAND oP. sosITE ARLINGTON HOTEL. CAR RACE cALLv ANSWERED PROMPTLY DAY OR NIGHT PHONE ,sfs. LEE MAYsERRY. PRcPRlE. TOR
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02

FOR RENT-Two well furnished g. room cottages, each can accommo- date two small families without chli- dren; nice front and back yards;
 large fine Verandas; situated on car line. Apply to John H. Lewis, 625 Central avenue. 1-2S-1mo
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02

FOR RENT OR LEASE-Roek Spring. Inquire at 119 Glade street
 2-29-1w
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02

oung man pianist de- Ind of position in Hot
 -ss fine references. Rags, clas- sieal or any kind of dope. Address Robert, this office. 2-2s-4t
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02

FOR SALE-For the destruction of rats, mice and reaches. got paste that will positively rid the house Of hats, mice and reaches, The rats Will not die in the house; will die in the open air; 25c and soc box. If 1t fails to do as agreed in ten days, money back. I will deliver it if you send me a card John Dunlay, POI
 Prospect avenue. 2-27-6t
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02
' PER CENT MONEY

MONEY-Wanted to borrow. from sl 900 to s5,O00 at per cent; can give excellent real estate security and frst-class name. Address L. H.. care sentinel-Record. 2-27-tf
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02

FOR RENT-One broom and one 1. room furnished cottage. 322 East Grand. Inquire BIS East Grand or phone 106s. 2-1-tf
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02

Mammoth Imperial Pekin duck eggs for setting, $l0 per 1O0 Also ranch eggs, $1 per setting. Address Miss Lizzie M. Taylor. phone 92 2-26-tf
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02
FOR SALE.

FOR sALE-6ood furnished farm. 215 Oak 1-26-1mo
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02
FOR RENT

FOR RENT-Fnmished cottages for light housekeeping, $7 per month; good we'll of water. Aplly No BIO Dell street. 2-2S-1mo
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02

FOR SALE-Five-room house, mod ern improvements. about 10 acres. good pasture, two barns, two chicken houses, two wells, three blocks from Oaklawn car line, on Third street. Terms to suit purchaser. Address F
 Geiser. R. F. D. No. 1. 1-5-tf
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02

An experienced publisher of ability desires educated man or business woman with capital to assist in pro- noting a high-class National Journal to be issued from Hot Springs. Writer, printer or advertising solicit or considered also. Care Reference sentinetRecord. 2-2S-tf
The Sentinel=record., 1912-03-02

c. FLOYD HUFF. Owner.
Bisbee daily review., 1912-03-05
BISbEE PUTS II OVER
 WARREN BALL NINE
Preseason Game Draws Good Crowd of Fans
 and PieaSeS

In the first baseball game of the season at Warren Park, the Bisbee Tri-TOwn league team defeated the Warren club by the score of sixteen to two. The initial contest was wit messed by a good sized crowd, and the roofing was enthusiastic. The game was staged as an exhibition for the fans, and an opportunity to give the team managers a chance to get a line or selected material. Consid- ering the fact that none of the play CTS had had any practice to amount to anything. excellent preseason form was shown.
 Champion and Brown were the dia- mond dust twins for Warren in the first part of the game. Later Brown went in to relieve Champion in the box, and Spec" Gill put himself in side the protectors. For the Bisbee team McClintock and Irving worked in the box and Ben Kelly caught Me Clintock pitched a splendid game, and is being doped out as conner of the league season.
 Bisbee and Lowell will play next Sunday and on the following Sunday the Tri-Ttown league opens After that, fingers vii be crossed. and il will be nip and tuck and tit for tat for the league pennant. The directors will have the season schedule ready for publication in a few days.
Bisbee daily review., 1912-03-05
9&sMAN&9ssMegsa Na
FINE RACING CARDS
 FOR SPRING MEETING
Spokane Expects 600 Horses Will Be Seen at
 Cour d'Alene

SPOKANE, Wash, March 4:-One hundred and twenty thousand dollars in purses, including II stakes, each Of not less than $1.200, will be hung up at the CoOur d'Alene Racing as sociation's spring meeting at the Alan track, beginning April 27. An added feature is the breeders stake every week, the association presenting anil mals 10 farmers in Idaho for breeding purposes.
 Elaborate arrangements are being made for Derby day, the middle of June. when 1t is planned to run spe- cial trains from various parts of the northwest. The amount of the stake has not yet been decided upon, but it is given out it will not be less than S5 900. Blanks for this and other stake races will be issued in ten days. Sixty horses were wintered at the trach this season and they are in good condition" said Frank W. Smith, secretary of the association. We ex- Iect several cars from Fl Haso in a few days and there will be others from Oklahoma, Texas, Kentucky, Washington, California, Montana, Ore gon. Idaho. British Columbia, Alber- ta. Manitoba and other states and pro- vinces. Present adyices indicate we will have 600 horses on the ground when the first bell rings.
 "Horsemen in various parts of the country already are making reserva- tions at the hotels in Spokane, Occur d'Alene and Hayden Lake and We are looking forward to a highly success ful meeting. which probably will be the only one at the Idaho track this year. The course is faster than ev- CT and some new marks are in order"
 Besides the special service by steam and electric railroads operating in the Spokane valley, it is planned to run a steamboat and electric launches from Occur d'Alene to the track. ride of nine miles along the picturesque Spokane river, which is within six furlongs of the grand stand. Automobiles will be used on the transfers.
Bisbee daily review., 1912-03-05
GREATEST HITTING IN BASEBALL
 HAS BEEN BY BIC FELLOWS
Medium-Sized Men Have Also Made Some Great Records While Suggers Among Little Fellows Has Been Few.

broadly and solidly built but short Latham leans more toward smallness than bigness. Tiernan was of goodly height. but slim and sineWy and Dal- rymple fairly tall. but spare in build. Griffin and Childs were of the roly- poly type and Van haltren slender. Davis. Jennings, Stenzel. Dolye, Brod- It. Selbach. Collins, Flick and Beau mont were all muscularly made. Lowe rather slight and Clarke and Jones trim and medium. Donlin Is oi medium. symmetrical build and Cobb wiry and of medium tall statue.
 Of the Goiiaths. Anson. the noblest SIusEvT or Jn5:p ale a hard, straight away hitter was of big frame. big stature, powerful and solid. Others of general physical bigness of prom thence. eye-filling bulk were Roger. Conner, Dan BroutheTs, Ted Larkin. Jake Beckley. Geo. Lachance and Sam Crawford. Chance is a big fellow. but
 does not bulk quite as large as these.
 sam Thompson, Pete Browning and Harry Stoyey were tall and rawbon- ed types-big frames. but spare or
 flesh.
 Long John Reilly was sall and thin,
 Dave orr and Tom Burns not tall but
 heavy and clumsy. So( too, was ES
 McKean. O'Neill and Ryan were tall
 and symmetrically built and their
 size was somewhat masked by their easy gracefulness. Hardie Richard son and Jim White were medium big men Paul Hines was solidly con- structed: Mike Kelly was tall and ac- tive and Bill Everett Of the tall. lean. sprawiing kind
 Delehanty was big in bone and height and suggested power. bit
 more rugged perhaps than the tall trim ana easy-moying Laioie. Buck 1 Ewing wasn't so tall but strong and ] sturdy JACK Glasscock's size ran
 more to height than to breadth, Clem i ents on the other hand being shorter
 and stockier Stiyetts. who. with Win Mercer, is the only pitcher in the list ! Of monar:hs of the bhdgeon, had a physique much like that of Hans Wag ner, powerful shoulders. long arms, 8 | big torso. Pat Donovan was tall and slender, 2 trifle more so in the latter regard than Tom Tucker, one of the pest first basemen. baseball ever had 1 Bill Joyce was Of heavy blkld and me- dium height, Jim ORourke slightly | beyond the average in height and
 weight. Seymour and Jos Kelley oi | goodly height and well propOrtioned and Bill Lange well over six feet,
 with long legs and big shoulders, a trifle ungainly, but alert and quick. i From Q4illiput to Brobdinghag a notable list truly. and each a master Of the locust. no matter what his in Ches