Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-04-11

lence. Presently Jimmy broke the
quiet by remarking:
Don't you all feel sorry for old
Miss Polite Bumpus? She live all
Dy herself, and she bout a million
years old, and Doctor Sanford amt
never brung her no chiIlens cause she
amt got 'er no husban' TO be their
papa and she got a octopus in her
mead, and she poor as post and deaf
as Jobs old turkey-hen."
Jobs old turkey-hen wasn't deaf, +"
retorted Lima primly: she was very,
very poor and thin"
She was deaf, toe" insisted jim
my, cause it's in the Bible. I know
all bout job" Dragged he.
I know all bout Job. too" chirped
Frances.
JOB, nothing!" said Jimmy, with
sheer; you all time talking bout
you know all bout Job; you bout
the womanishest little girl they is.
Now / know JOB cause Miss Cecilia
'splained all bout him to me. He's
in the Bible and he sold his birth
mark for a mess Of potatoes and
You never can get anything right,
Jimmy" interrupted Lima; that was
Esau and it was not his birthmark,
it was his birthstone; and he sold his
birthstone for mess of potash"
Yes" agreed Frances; ''he saw
Esau kissing Kate and Esau had to
sell him his birthstone to keep his
mouth shut"
Mother read me all about Job, -
continued Lima; che was afflicted with
boils and his wife knit him a Job S
comforter to wrap around him, and
he"
And he sat under a 'tato vine, -
put in Frances eagerly. what God
grew to keep the sun off O. his boils
and"
That was Jonah" said Lima, and
it wasn't potato vine; it was"
No. It wasn't Jonah neither; Jonah
is inside of whales bel"
.Frances!"
'Stommick," Frances corrected her
self, and whale swallow him, and
how's he going to sit under a pump
kin vine when he's inside of a
whale?"
1t was not a pumpkin vine, it"
And I'd jus like to see a man in
side of a whale asserting under a
morning glory vine"
THE whale vomicked him up" said
Jimmy.
What sorter thing is a octopus like
what y'all say is in Miss Polite Bum
pus's head?" asked Billy.
"'Tain't octopus, it's a polypus, ="
explained Frances, cause she's
named Miss Polite. It's a someping
that grows in your nose and has to
be named what y0u's named. She's
named Miss Polite and she's got a
polypus."
I'm mighty glad my mama amt
got no Eva-pus in her head" was
Jimmy's comment. Amt you glad,
Billy, your Aunt Minerva amt got
no Miss Minerva-pus
Il sho' is" feryently replied Miss
Minerals nephew; she's hard 'nough
to manage now like she is"
I'm awful good to Miss Polite, -
said Frances. Il take her someping
good to eat most every day. I took
her two pieces of pie this morning; I
ate one piece on the way and she
gimme the other piece when I got
there. l JUS don't believe she could
get long at all 'thout me to carry her
the good things to eat that my mama
send her; l takes her pies all the
time; she says they're the best smell
ing pies she smelt"
you bout the piggiest girl they
is said Jimmy, "all time got to eat
UP a poor old woman's pies. You'll
have Frances-pus in your stomach
first thing you know"
She's got horn that you talk
tn 90" continued the little girl, serene
ly contemptuous of Jimmy's adverse
criticism, ''and fore l knew how you
talk into it, she says to me one day,
'How's your MAJ? and stuck that old
horn at me; so I put it to my ear, too,
and there We set; she got one end of
the horn to her ear and | got the
other enc. to my ear; so when 1 saw
this wasn't going to work 1 took it
and blew into it; you-alId died a.
laughing to see the way / did. But
now I can talk th'oo it's goods any
body"
That is an ear trumpet, Frances, :"
said Lima; ''it is not a horn"
Let's play Hide the Switch" sug-
gested Billy.
I'm going to hide it first" cried
Frances.
Nav, you amt" objected Jimmy,
you all time got to hide the switch
first. I'm going to hide it first my
self"
No, I'm going to say William Com
Trimbleton, said Frances, "and see
who's going to hide it first Now you
all spraddle out your fingers"