The Alaska citizen., 1912-06-17
Mir. Dooley on the Campaign 
 ROCKY MOUNTAIN NEWS

to inform th' public that he was in ra-ality a passer iv counterfeit money who was posin' as confidence man he let th' chairman iv the campaign comity say it.
 But it's changed now fr th' bet ther All th' candydates fr our impeeryal sufferage ar-re like our silves whin We ain't oursilves. | cant go on tn sthreet without hay in me back fondled an me ar-rm pulled off be somewan who's lible to be ruin tn distinies iy this na- ton fir four years firm the Foorth iv nex' March. I'm a good fellow. have it on tn authority. dye mind, iy some iy th' noblest statesmen iv tn day who've come thousands iv miles to tell me so. Tn on'y way l know candydate fr prisident firm a candydate fr bailiff in the municipal CoOrt iS because the can dydate for baliff is a little more re- fined in his wurruk, Have a good see-gar Twas just give me be Woodrow Wilson
 II walk up tn sthreet an see crowd iv th' leesure class. small boys an thruckmen. gathered about tn back iv drhay. Says 10 me silf: This is wan iv thim Indyan doctors inthrajoocin' snake root rr nooralgy. Sometimes they're funny I'll stop an listen to him an maybe see him land a sucker But whin l get near, To and behold. like as not it's th' prisident iv tn United States tellin his aujience that annywan that has iyer been to a chicken fight knows we've got 10 uphold tn decisions iy the coorts He makes a gr-reat imprissyon on their minds Ye can see that be tn respictful ap- plause they give him. whistlin' an shoutin': Q, you Willie an Soak him again, Bill
 They've all been to see me. In tn ol days th' highest customer l got was candydate f'r judge CT sheriff but l wuddent look at tn likes iv thim now. Tn boys ar-re standin' around waitin' fir some wan to dhrop in. whin tn dure bursts open an in springs Tiddy Rosenfelt, ordhers a round, offers to shake dice with th' crowd, first flop. rassles with a longshoreman fr his vote. an gets it. 'Misther ex-Prisident.' says l. what ar-re tn probabilities iv th' success iv tn gloryous principals fr which We stand?' says l. Chop th' Prisident Eliot suff,' says he We've got tn big fellow skun 10 whisper he says, an goes out
 Hes hardly gone whin a thin man in a long coat comes in. think at first he's canvasser fir tn Life iv Calvin but he inthra- jOoCes himself as Woodrow Wilson. an says. Call me Woody; l like it. ordhers round iy limonade. offers 10 sing or do a jig to show he's good fellow, says he got a horrible headache because he was up till iliven o'clock last night playin' authors with a lot iv the boys, an tels he'd shake hands with ivry man prisnt if he hadn't f'rgot his gloves. He gives me a lithygraft iv himsilf to paste up in tn front window an goes his way.
 Tn little while the prisident iv tn bank down th' sthreet drops in with two statesmen walkin' a foot or two behind him. Boys says he, If ye value ye'er jobs yell vote fr wan iv these two men. It doesn't make much dif'rence which. Ayther Harmon, this wan. if l haven't got thim mkt, or Undherwood, this wan is good enough fir me. They ar-re both men who have been thried an not found wantin anything didn't in dorse Me candydates will now ad- dhress ye. Say something, con- gressman, like: It's always an agree greeable surprise to meet intilligint wurrukin' men or How close it is in here or something like that Dooley, take these eight dollars an let these poor fellows dhring thim- silyes crazy An he goes out be-