davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
oladstene's Refrsshmsnt.

Gladstone's recourse to refreshment when speechmaking is commented on in John Bigelow's "Retrospections of an Active Life" In 186O when Glad stone was installed as lord rector of Edinburgh university, Bigelow notes that when he rose to speak the states man ''took his position by the desk, laid down a pile of manuscript, pulled out of his pocket little flask with a cork that unscrewed and a false bot tom that made cup, emptied some thing into the cup and then addressed himself to the work of the day. ~~* He spoke just an hour and a half, refresh ing himself occasionally from the It. tie cup, which he preferred to the tum- blers standing beside him for no req son that I can imagine except that 1t did not betray the color of its con- tents. He evidently had no confidence that his audience were gentlemen enough to turn their backs if he had filled & glass"
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
Uncle Sam'a Expanaion,

The stages of our territorial expan' sion have been as follows: Louisiana, area S75,OOO square miles, 1903: Flor ida, area 10000 square miles, 1S19; Texas, area 265,oo0 square miles, 1s45i Oregon country. area 2ss,Ooo square miles, 1s46; the Mexican cession, area 523,000 square miles, 1S4S; Godseer purchase, area se,0oo square miles, 1858; Alaska, area 599,O00 square miles, 1867: Hawaiian islands. area e,700 square miles. 1897; Philippine Is- lands, area 143, 900 square miles, 1899; Porto Rico. area 3,6o0 square miles, 1898. and a few other little islands. such as Guam, Pine island, etc, mak- ing a total added area to original ter ritory of 2,937, 900 square miles.-New York American! ,-
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
Saved the Crown Jewels.

A very romantic adventure once be fell the Scottish crown jewels while they were deposited for safety in Dun ottar castle. This stronghold. was be sieged by Cromwell so hotly that the little garrison decided to surrender. On the eve of yielding the wife of .Ogilvie the commander of the beleaguered cas- tie, managed, with the aid of the wife Of the local minister, to elude the be siegers and get the jewels away. The latter were buried under the pulpit in the parish church and lay there till the restoration, though the minister and his wife were tortured to disclose the place where the jewels were hid den. Ogilvie was afterward reward ed with a baronetcy, and Keith, who stoutly declared be had seen them in the possession of the exiled King Charles H., was made an earl. But the faithful minister and his wife went unrewarded.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
A Hawk and q ANmn.

Charles Wesley, brother of John Wes- Icy, who founded the Methodist church, wrote some 5000 hymns. Jesus. Low @ O6 My Soul" was the most popular Of any he wrote. He got the idea for this ono day as he was sitting at his desk. A bird Qursued by a hawk flew in ak the opeA window. Tho hawk, afran to follow, new away. and Wes- lay, struck by the incident, was at once inspired to wr1te . song, applying what he had witnessed to our spiritual Nfe.- Kansas City Star.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
A Story of Henry of Navarro.

The following well authenticated anecdote will serve to show what man. ner of man Henry of Navarro was: One day, while on his way to join a hunting party, a countryman whom he had overtaken on the road asked him where he was going. T am going on to attend the kings hunt" replied Henry. That's where I'm going" said the rustic. "I have heard lots About the king, and want to see how he looks." Jump up behind me-" said Henry. Az they logged along the countryman asked, 'tHow will I know the king from the others" He will have his hat on, and all the rest will uncover when he arrives" answered Henry. When the pair finally reached the party every hat went ofr. "Where's tho kingT' asked Henry of the rustic. 'Tt must be either you or me-" re- sponded the countryman, "for we are the only fellows who have our hats an"
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
The Gentle Sex.

An eminent English statisticianf, has calculated that of two children. a boy and a girl, born on the same day the boy will have only seventeen chances against eleven of living one year, While the girl will have twenty-one chances against eleven, From five to fifteen there appears to be but little difference, but from fifteen to nineteen the boy will have 269 chances and the gitf PIT chances of living against one of death. If a thousand ablebodied men and a thousand ablebodied women be armed and equipped for battle and ordered on a long, weary march more men, says this authority. would probably. reach their destination, while more women would be found exhausted, but more men would be found dead by the way side.-New York American.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
anakaa Are 0raat Eaatara.

Snakes, though at times they gorge themselves, are great fasters. In the French museum an anaconda twenty feet long was a very small feeder, though he gained in weight. Taken there in 1885, he had only thirty-four meals during the next five years, con sisting of a small goat or few rab- bits. The interval between these meals varied from 23 to 2o4 days. He would not touch food unless he was in real need of it, and 1t was only by watch ing and noticing when he seemed to be uneasy that his keepers could con- clude that he was hungry. During the long fast, which was in 1886, many strenuous efforts were made to tempt or force him to eat without the least success.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
The paem That KiIIs

The Army and Navy club in Wash ington is an exclusive organization. The clubhouse is nicely decorated. One picture of which the members are proud and which they take every op- portunity to bring to the attention of visitors Is a rather crude pen and ink drawing. obviously the work of an amateur. It depicts an officer seated before a deal table, standing in front of which is private soldier at salute. Beneath the picture is the following in- scription:
 "Pat, I hear that you have been drunk again"
 "Yis, sor."
 "Your conduct is disgraceful. Why can't you drink like officers and gentle menT'
 "Faith, BOT, and if oi did Ofd be dead fin 6 wake."-Washington Star.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
Waited For Hi. A.sa..in to Gene.


 In the American Magazine, about JO- seph Pulitzer, the late blind editor of tho New York World, Is the following: Perhaps the most amusing of all Mir. Pulitzer's stories about himself was one which related to an occur renee which took place after he had become editor and part proprietor of the Westliche Post. It appears that he had given great .offense to a certain judge in St. Louis and that the latter declared one day from the bench that before the sun set he would seek out Pulitzer and shoot him down like a dog. If my memory serves me, MT. Pulitzer was in court when this threat was made. In any case, 1t came to his ears, and he immediately issued an extra announcing the proposed assas- sination and stating that he would re main in his office until the setting of the sun in order that no hitch might occur in the program"
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
A Gmnmoimaaur

A great painter was asked by his lit. tie son, Father, what Is a connois- seurT
 "Well, my son." the father answered. ''did you notice that tall, white haired gentleman at my studio tea yester- dayr' <. .,-..
 The one with the sable lined over coat, father? Oh, yes. noticed him"
 "Well. my son, he Is a connoisseur." ]"
 But how do you know he's 6 con noisseur, fatherT'
 By his actions, my son."
 But, father. he acted like every one else at the tea, didn't her.
 Certainly not. my son! Certainly not! The others drank my Russian tea. ate my foie gras sandwiches and took leave. But he-he bought a pic turew
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
Tn. Difference !. Letter Made.

Tn the first edition of St. Matthew in Micmac for the Indians of Nova seotls the translator found when he came to revise it that in chapter xiv. T. in stead of nation shall rise against m tion." he had written ga pair of snow shoes shall rise up against a pair of snowshoes." But there was only one letter misprinted. nAooktukumiksi1ik Ia nationl having been displaced by naooktakumiksi1ik (a snowshoel.-St. James Gazette.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
Ciimhinu parnaeaue.

xn mythology Parnassus, a mountain in central Greece. was sacred to the muses. The Delphian sanctuary of Apollo was on its slope, and from be- tween ats twin summit peaks flowed tho fountain CastaliA, the waters of which were reputed to impart the vir- tue of poetic inspiration. The highest peak. S068 feet, was held sacred to Bacchus and the rest to Apollo and the muses, whence the saying of young po- ekS '@climbAng ParnassuS."
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
Hinh Ideei.

Just to be good, to keep life pure erom degrading clements, to make 1t constantly helpful in little ways to those who are touched by 1t, to keep one's spirit always sweet and avoid all manner of petty anger and irritability that is an ideal as noble as 1t is dif- eult-Edward Howard Griggs.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
A Bitind Retort.

Lady Wortley Montagu. one of Eng lands most brilliant women, incurred Pope's undying hatred in the following manner: The poet. who was deformed and very dark and addicted to ques- tioning everybody. once asked her to define an interrogation mark. She de fined it as ga little. crooked black thing that asks questions"
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
Some Fly Don'ts

DON'T allow flies in your houss.
 DON'T permit them near your food, especially milk.
 DON'T buy foodstuff where flies arc tolerated.
 DON'T have feeding places where flies can load them selves with objections from ty- phoid or dyssntsrie patients.
 DON'T allow your fruits and oonfsctions to be exposed to the swarms of flies.
 DON'T let flies crawl over the baby's mouth and swarm upon the nipple of its nursing bottle.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
lnhAritad.

"Sadie," said a mother to her small daughter, "why Is 1t that you and your little brother are always quarrel ing?"
 "I don't know" replied Sadie, "un- less I take after you and he takes after papa."-Chicago News.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
His Use For Soap,

"Lady," said Meandering Mike, would you lend me a cake of soapT' Do you mean to tell me you want soap"
 "Yes'm. Me partners got de hic- cups an want to scare him."-Wash- ington Star.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
interested.

Boswell, when his first biography of Johnson first appeared, met Lord Thur low hurrying through Parliament street to the house of lords and said, Have you read my bookr'
 'Yes, confound you," growled LOrd Thurlow, "every word of it. couldn't help myself"
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
in This Rapid Aaa.

'Ts mammals good little boy ready to have his bath nowT
 "Oh, msw. cut out the goody-goody spiel When a chaps six years old it's time to take him out of the kindergar- ten class I'll take my splash in the tub when I've had a smoke."-Chicago Tribune.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
Their Opportuniey.

Miss Fluny-I made quite an impress sion at the reception, didn't I? Every body seemed to be talking about me. Candid Friend-They talked still more about you after you had gonel
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
To Be PrAoiaa.

New Cook-When serve dinner should say Dinner is ready" or "Din- uer is servedr'
 Mistress-If it be as bad as last night just say "Dinner Is spoiled. d."-Satire.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
Par&icular Wnman.

Judge-she insisted on having a wo man lawyer secuI her divorce.
 ''Why was she so particularr'
 "She did not want to go contrary to that portion of the marriage ceremony that reads, Let no man put asun- der. "-New York Herald.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
Too Many of Them.

Blobbs-Do you think Miss Antique would appreciate a birthday present Slobbs-Not so much as a birthday ab- sent.-Philadelphia Record.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
The Start.

Judge-Were you present when the trouble started between the man and his wife? Witness-Yes, sir. I was at deir weddin', eff dat's whut yo' means, sah.-Exchange.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
ora nee.

Have the courage to be ignorant of . great number of things, in order to avoid the calamity of being ignorant of eVerythiDg.-Sydney Smith.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
woman's louic,

My dear. these are excellent cigars, but they are awfully strong"
 Yes. I got the strongest could find They won't break so easily in your pocket."-Judge.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
A 4ARMn.

T wonder" said the bald boarder. "why a fight Is called a scrapr'
 Because it iS a broken peace" the cheerful idiot explained, with his usual promptitude.-Stra Stories.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
Playinu a Part.

Maud-Did the manager say he'd let you play a part? Mabel-Yes. He said he'd rather have me play apart from his company than with 1t,
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
THE TYPHOID FLY.

Baby bye,
 Here's . fly.
 Lst us s~st him, you and [, While we talk. See him walk And for microbes never baIk. Do you think with six such feet You and would walk on uesatf Win this fly Toll me why
 He will walk on bread and piaf Sure he knows That his toes ,. Are all covered with typhoa. | should think if l were he I'd not fall in milk and tea. Kill him quick Or he'll make you very sick. Flies you strictly should avoid If you would not have typhoid.
 -cocksry School Magazine.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
Chronic Case.

Has your wife complained very Iongr' asked the doctor.
 Ever since we were married" re- piled Weekly sadly.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
Modern piavs-

'The average modern play" said playwright, 'calls in the first act for all our faith, in the second for all our hope and in the last for all our chari- ty."
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04

Courage consists not in blindly over looking danger, but In seeing 1t and concuering tt.-Richter.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
An Educated Bird.

The McKeesport man was telling the minister about his educated parrot. Ask him something" he urged. Polly want a crackerT asked the parson.
 Nav. Gimme three ds."-Pitts- burgh Post.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04

Real worth requires no interpreter Its everyday deeds form its blazonry.- Chamfort.
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
The. Flies Revenge
 A Poem With a Moral

TEN lHtIs N'ss %
 All ir a line One get a swat, The" there w.rs ssssssss" NINE little HISs
 oriunly ssdat@ Licking their ohsPe- s~atl There were . e . es Ei0HT little flies RaIslna Seuns more @N~atI 9~ati 9~atl 6~au Then there were e sss HOUR little NI@s
 Colerod green blue svssti (ain't it sasyf) Then there were 6 TWO little flies
 psdasd the civilian EARLY NEXT DAY THERE WERE A MlLLloNt
 Buffalo NS~@-
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
SWAT.

s~atl S~ati swatl Though the weather be cold or hot,
 In the sun or the rain
 You must hit i'm again Ss SSSatt SVsati Swati 4 whack for each germ he's got
 Though he's only a ny.
 You must help him to de. ee S~ati Swati SwatI @Nati Swatl S~akI TtI you've killed the whole bloomin' loA
 Be they house or horse.
 They have germs, of course So sws4i SS~stI S~ati No matter what else iM forgot,
 Though the neIghbora be bounding
 About all the pounding. V0u nust S~xatI SVSatt S~atl swati sSatl swati Rejoice at each one that you've got
 For each ny that you kill Makes some bacillus nil. Sc Swati Swat S~atI
Connecticut western news., 1912-07-04
SWAT THE FLYI

CLEANLINEss is next to god
 Illness, and self preservation is the first law of nature. There fore swat the fiyI
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
Obituary..

Iva May Turley. little child of
Burk and Lola Turley. died at 8
O'Clock Saturday morning, Aug.
II, 1912, after an illness of four
teen hours. Iva was a precious
babe and at her death she was
five months and fourteen days
old. She was taken suddenly
i'll and everything was done for
her that kind hands and medical
skill could do, but all TO no avail.
and her little soul went back to
God who gave it.
The funeral services were con-
Quoted by the writer in the
presence of a large concOurse of
relatives and friends, after which
the remains were laid to rest in
the Piney cemetery.
Have you thought the resurrection
Seen in nature year by year,
Is a symbol of our rising,
Children, we are buds maturing;
May your winter be passage,
Through the gates to the glory land.
j. B. M
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
Cstarrh Cannot Be Cured

with LOCAL APPLICATIONS. as they
cannot reach the seat of the disease Ca
,a-~h ~ blood or constitutional disease,
ana in order 70 cure IL you must take IN
,trnal remedies. Halls Catarrh Cure IS
taken internally. and acts directly upon
trs HOOD and mucous surfaces. Halls
Catarrh cure is not a cuack medicine. II
was prescribed by one OF the best ply
siciars In It's country for years anu is
4 regular prescription. II is composed OF
the best tonics known. combined WIN tne
bast blood purifiers. acting directly on the
mucous surfaces. The perfect combina-
~ 90 ~ two ingredients is what pro-
duces su,n w 1erful results in curing
catarrh. Send Cor testimonials, free,
+ J. CHENEY * co, Props.. Toledo y
Sold by Druggists. price 'oc.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
Card Of Thanks.

We desire to tender our sin
cere thanks to our neighbors anc
friends around about Weston,
who so kindly assisted US anc
ministered to our dear wife ano
mother during her last illness
and death. May Gods riches
blessings abide with them in a
their troubles and trials is th'
prayers of S. A. billiard ant
children.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
ELECTRICITY FOR DULLHESS
New York Will Try the Expert
ment Of Charging its
Schoolrooms.

New York, Aug. p. The
New York Board Ct Education is
expected to authorize trial this
fall of the Swedish invention OF
DR.. Syante Arrhenius for cleo.
trifying a schoolroom, ana
thereby producing results from
the pupils. The experiment
which has been successful IN
stockholm. will be tried ton a
room in which a class of defect
i've pupils is being taught. The
cost for a years trial will be less
than $4,000.
The electrifcator consists Of a
series of wires in the walls OF
the classroom. These wires Will
be charged with high frequency
currents. The plan will be 10
have two classrooms, as nearly
alike as possible, one electrlhec
and the other not. each TO have
the same number of pupils. Al
the end of a certain period com
parsons will be made between
the pupils in the electrified room
and those in the room not cleo
trifed.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
.rss,s Made Lite Bu den on Ship

Mass. Aug. 26. The
...ufthe big steam treighter
mont Castle from the Far
...' came near being one long
...umarc Forty-one monkeys
..r. taken on board at an East
,.r port They refused 20 answer
t.g ilnner-beli. they swarmed
.. 'hc rigging. hopelessly tang
.ng any loose ends of rope they
could lind. swung on the whistle
rope. sending forth blasts of the
siren IN the dead of night; ritied
the galley shelves and upset
eyerything that was not nailed
down.
Freedom of the ship had been
granted to the monkeys 10 keep
them in better health, but Capt.
smith finally ordered them
caught and put back in the
cages. This resulted in the
death Of twelve.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
Notice..

Whereas it is now unlawful for
any person TO let run on any of
the streets or alleys Of the City
OF Marion, KY, or on any prem.
ises or property other than that
owned and controlled by them,
any chicken : or other fowls, of
any kind, all persons are hereby
notified that from the first day
OF September, 1912, said ordi-
nance will be strictly enforced
for any and all violations of the
same.
JAMES A. MOORE, City Atty.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
Road Engineers Wanted.
Applicants Take Notice

Under the new road law the
Office of road oyerseer is abol-
ished and it will be necessary to
appoint a county road engineer
at the Oct. term of fiscal court
Ali persons who desire to APP
ply for this office should procure
a certificate of qualification no n
the State Road Commission and
file same with their apple" ton.
J. w. Blue, jr. Co, Judge.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
E0pCtO ROOSEVELT
TO STOP SPEECH
r,uly Crowd Causes the IL
President tlueh Annoyance

r.,.r Mass. Aug. p Al
.fo day's speaking to
......ai Massachusetts peop'v
. u.eyelttnls afternoon was
.I.a tremendous crush
-.r Common. Many IN
... crowd .eered him. forcing
....,., 20 stop his speech but
...r.l police aid. saying he
mage the crowd.
t..,,'h he secured a hearing
sized ms speech, including
"a vigorous defense OF
r.. and Flynn.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
Oldest Pensioner Dies;
Used Tobacco 80 Years

Hoopeston. Ill.,, Aug. 2S.-
Harrison Ingram, 100 years old,
died here during the night. His
father was a soldier in the war
of 1912. Ingram was said to be
the oldest pensioner on the gov
eminent roll. He was a tobacco
user from early youth.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
NOTICE

TO THE PUBLIC We have
rebuilt our shop and we are now
ready to do your blacksmith
work. Thanking YOU for past
favors and hoping YOU will con.
tlnue 20 give US your patronage.
Ne remain
Your respectfully
H. T. Summers. Rcr'oo. by.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
PILES! PILES! Piles!

Williams Indian Pile Ointment vii
cure Blind, Bleeding and Itching Piles.
1t absorbs the tumors, allays itching
at once, acts as a poultice, gives in
slant relief. Williams Indian Pile
Ointment is prepared for Piles and
itching of the private parts. Drug
gists, mail soc and sl.00. Williams
Mfg. Co., Props, Cleveland. o.
Sold only by j. II. Orme.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
The Right Of way.

When father drove old Dobbin,
he sat upon his load
And frowned on every chauffeur
who wanted half the road;
When father got an auto his
feelings seemed to switch;
He glared at every horse he met
unless it took the ditch.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
False Teeth Strangled Her.

Pittsburg, Pa, Aug. q. Mrs.
Mary Thomas, aged forty, neg
lected TO remove her false teeth
when she retired last night, and
was found dead this morning
from strangulation.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
Offer Extended.
McCalls Magazine Free

Ladies, take notice, and show
this to your husbands. A thirty
day bargain offer to everybody
in honor of our thirty. fourth birth
day. For each new subscriber
or renewal for one year at $I.OO
during the month of Aug we
will present McCalPs Magazine
The Crittenden Record Press
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
A Mere Maid.

Come on out. " said the sailor
bold
Unto the mermaid fair;
Il would" said she,
But. mercy me,
| haven't a thing to wear.
Judge.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29

hear a conversation carried on in
whisper one thousand miles
away, The instrument is at
tached to the receiver of a tele-
phone and has been given the
severest tests between Chicago
and New York. -Kentuckian.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29

81 was cured of diarrhoea by on
dose Of Chamberlain Collie, Colera
and Diarrhoea Remedy" writes M. f.
Gebhart, Oriole. Pa. There is nothing
better. For sale by all dealers a
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-08-29
CAN HEAR WHISPER
Former Owensboro Man Perfects
the Helpaphone.

Everett l.. Holbrook, now of
Chicago, ILL.,, but formerly of
Owensboro. KY, has perfected
an instrument he calls the helpa-
phone, which enables persons to