The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-21
STRANGE THINGS IN the NEWS
WEIRD AND WONDERFUL HAPPENINGS EVERY DAY THAT ARE
STRANGER THAN FICTION.
ytChicago Tribune.)

nj "a kNAANuGU
(Chicago Tribune.)
The next minute. what's going to
happen to you:
Nothing?
How do You know?
This is a crazy old world. and weird
things have a habit Of bobbing up just
at h time you don't xpect them.
For instance. you might swallow a
lizard, or have a cartridge blow up in
Your pipe-or be hammered for rheu-
matism-or forced to be chloroform-
ed that you may stop laughing-or
even be hitched to a harrow and made
to pillow the fields. Impossible? Not
at all. for all these things and many
more have happened to persons with
in the last few weeks. Suppose it
should happen to YOU.
And these persons who have been
the recipients of the jokes of the God
Of Foolery aren't sideshow freaks.
They're ordinary, sober. plain living
people who have been pursuing q
calm manner of eXistence-until the
world turned topsy-turvy for them.
There is nothing to indicate that the
large crop of queer happenings that
state OF circumstances in the world.
And. taking it all in all, just why
shouldn't something like this happen
just a bit carer home?
Or, again, an accident in your fam
lily may concern clothes. There is an
example of what may come to pass,
the same being n Mrs. E. E. Newton,
who has just sued her husband for
divorce in Kansas City.
Mrs. Newton has been a patient wo-
man. For seventeen years, ever since
she UlC m rPiod in ty.nrr~ol LS-~-
land, h has worn the garments fit
TED out for her wedding %trousseau.
Now. she has figured it out that the
dresses are a bit out of style, to say
the least. and that they are wearing
out around the hens a bit. Besides,
the b%uttonholes on her last century
Jacket are becoming 30 frayed she's
ashamed to wear the thing where any
one can see her. So. attired in the
same dress in which she stood before
the clergyman seventeen years ago,
she has gone into the district court
n asked for a separation. Sure,
she's had a hard time. But she was
lust an ordinary woman, and the
same thing is liable to happen to any
one
Spose YOU should pay $4,000 for a
motor a n then when YOU got
home o found the thing was only a
poOS - happening on LIE
same principle has Just come up in
Paris. where a certain society woman
has just bought a rat. believing 1t to
be "a dog. The woman has a craze
for small dogs. One day she was
walking along a boulevard. when she
espied a street hawker advertising the
smallest dog in the world. 1t was a
great chance The society leaders
purse opened, a CLINT of happiness
"a n irfn hon ns.Nr H. ,--@ A--
purchase and hurried home.
I've my wish at last" she pro-
claimed. tho smallest dog in the
world"
The We're assembled. The
family gathered round. Reginald
he had already been named-was
placed on the ilnor-and Immediately
ran up !; window curtain. 1t wa no
respectable way for a dog to act. Aft
err tho new owner had been revived
and the servants had resained their
sang froid. they attempted also to re-
gain Reggie. They did SO. and learn
cd that he was an Esop pup, not a
wolf in sleeps clothing. but a rat in
the skin Of a dog. So, you, see. if a
society leader can he fooled. what's
to prevent o from being cnsnarcd
into one of these new-fanglcd skin
games"
You doubtless chose your wife out
Of W or three elisibles. Here's a
man who had 500 applicants from
whom to take his pick, and even then
his married, life wasn't at all happy.
Henry Clay King. so years old. has
Just applied in Pontiac. ILL.,. for an
annulment of his marriage with Miss
BESSIE Southland of Centcrtown. Ky.
Last summer King advertised for a
wife. lie got enough letters to keep
! MN in mol for n Soar and v,osppI
photographs to start a beauty gallery.
Tie had plenty of time for meditation.
He took his pick. wrote to the lucky
applicant. and married her. Where
upon the new wife. who was %
years old. went to Pontiac, took a
squint at her husband. winked her
left y e and remarked something
about having left her handbag or
something Of the kind back in Ken
lucky. Or, she may have forgotten
to put her hat on straight-anvway.
that's a minor detail. Mrs. King de-
parted for her home.
Coming back? Why. certainly. How
perfectly absurd to think that she'd
leave forever such a husband. And
so she went away; h took the train
back to the dear old home, and so
Pontiac. Moral: If o lose your
wife, keep her chained to the old fire.
side.
There's a rush into the courts over
in Paris to stop the business of a doc
tor who cures rheumatism with a
hamer. He has all the business he
can take care of. It's a simply little
system-bing. bling. bling. like that,
and it's all yer You throw Your
crutches away. forget that your Off
side leg ever had a twinge and i'm
mediately &c out and box ten rounds
with the biggest truck driver you can
find. At least that's what the doctor
says, and he has got SO much bust
ness lately that his landlord is OBJ
jecting to the crowd which surrounds
his place of business.
The doctor works on the a]uctioneer
system, three taps with the hammer,
three. no more. no less. It's a beauti-
full little hammer and It is Used on
the part Of the body where the rheu-
matism is doing its worst work. The
principle is this: Everything must
have a head. You have a head, a riv.