The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1912-04-10
Her Unlucky
Star

do you remember" asked Laura,
rather tragically of Helen, who was
calling on her, the time we sorority
girls rented a cottage for a month
my most persuasive arts to engage the
wealthy landed proprietress to do our
homework? Perhaps you recall how !
labored with her under the mistaken
idea that she was a newcomer in this
land of the free and that she was
looking for a Job as cook when she
came to see us?'
Eyes, 1 remember" answered Helen.
with a reminiscent giggle. I'm sure
If l hadn't had the presence Of mind
to explain to her that you were SO pit
iably near sighted you could scarcely
distinguish the faces of your most In
innate friends she would have turned
us all out Of the cottage in her indig-
nation. 1 hope 1 shall be forgiven
that very helpful little fiction about
your defective sight"
do you recollect," inquired Laura
sternly, that other occasion when 1
told the girl who roomed next to us
at st. Agnes school that had almost
persisted during the sermon Of the
long winded stranger preacher who
had been inflicted on us in the chapel
one morning?"
"Yes," responded Helen, cheerily,
"and she told you with unnecessary
emphasis that the visiting clergyman
was her father! 1 haven't forgotten
your expression of dismay. It was
too comical And the enormous guam
titles of our precious goodies that you
lavished upon her failed to soothe her
injured feelings"
did l ever tell you" Laura asked
again with grim countenance, how
last summer l gratuitously and force
fully favored a Princeton freshman
with my scathing opinion of any boy
who couldn't pass his college en-
trance examinations? If did tell you
1 must have added that I found out
later that be was conditioned on three
studies. OF course the bright little
summer Irritation with him that had
dreamed of promptly shriveled into
mere frigid acquaintance"
"Why do you indulge in these pain
full "reminiscences? demanded Helen.
Because of all the many malapro-
pos things I have ever said or done
there is none other that equals my
latest. Helen, behold in me a CULVER
ing mass of contritioni l am think
ing of having my horoscope cast by
some professional wizard in the hope
of discovering under which planet
am especially prone to make unfortu-
nate remarks to the horror of myself
and the Indignation of my acquaint
ances. Then l could either have my
self gagged or l could retire from So
ciety during that destructive period"
"Your latest unfortunate remark
must have been even worse than the
one you made that time when you
mentioned to Mrs. Ackers out at the
golf club that you had greatly en-;
joyed being in a foursome with her
son and she thereupon icily informed
you that she had no son and that
Mr.. Acker was her husband"
ooh, that was a mere pleasantly
compared to the thorough manner in
which l have forever lowered myself
in the opinion Of my cousin, Tom Bur
rows. You know that l have always
adored dear old Tom and when he
confided to me a week ago that he was
engaged ! was tremendously excited.
l begged him to tell me the name of
the lucky girl. He described all her
charms glowingly but refused to d.
vulge her name-just to tease me,
supposed, for Tom has always been an
incorrigible tease.
''WeIl, last evening at the Montrose
dance Tom came to me and said that
the time had come for the great meet.
ing of his favorite cousin and his
sweetheart.
Il eagerly followed him across the
floor to the side of a most attractive
looking girl. Then Tom actually in.
troduced her to me as Miss Snickle-
fritz
"'Oh Toni I exclaimed, reproach,
fully, How horrid of you'll
Then / turned to the girl and said,
OF course you've learned already that
my cousin always has to have his lit
tie joke under all imaginable circum.
stances
tom glared at me furiously, but
couldn't understand why, so ! con-
tinued as pleasantly as could, Please
tell me your real name
'Snicklefritz,' she murmured.
Il almost collapsed. Do you wonder
that ] feel It is necessary for me to
take some kind of cure? l suppose
Tom will never forgive me-"
Most certainly not, Laura" was
Helen's none too comforting assur.
ance. How could he. when the name
is doubtless a thorn in his flesh?
Snicklefritz! Isn't it dreadful? How
delighted she will be to change her
name!"-Chicag0 Daily News.