Evening capital news. (Boise, Idaho) 1901-1927, 1912-11-27
The Evening Story
A PARSONS
REMEDY
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1919. By Associated Lit
sfary Press. n

liked her looks and gave her welcome.
For ave or. six weeks all went well.
and then the widow broke out.
A villager who had done some paint
ing for the widow called for bis money.
She opened IRE on him at once. After
tongue flashing him for i've minutes
she picked up q club and drove him
from the premises. She had Z garden,
| and she had given neighbor permits
sion to cut the grass for his COW. He
was cutting away when the woman de-
scended upon him and gave him a cuff
on the ear and rushed him out Of the
yard much frightened man. The gro
Ger happened to be passing. and he
halted at the gate to see the fun. Mrs.
Goodhue walked out to him end said:
"See here, you baboon faced son Of
gun, you trot right on or Ill break
your knees"
The grocer stood with mouth open
and wondered IL he had heard Alright.
Didn't tell you to trot?" demanded
the widow a. she whirled him around
and administered a kick that raised bis
heels six inches from the ground.
Across the street a carpenter was
building q fence. As he hammered
| away a shadow fell across his feet. At
the same time stick fell upon his
head.
"what! What's thisT he asked as
he whirled around.
"To0 much darned noise!" replied the
woman.
"Why. lady, have got to hammer in
the nails.'
''Then I've got to hammer you with
this stick~
And shesailed In and drove him from
his Job. and. like the grass cutter and
the grocer. he went away to spread the
report that the Widow Goodhue had
gone plumb crazy. The facts in the
matter later reached the ears Of Dr..
Beazler, the oldest practitioner in the
county and an acknowledged authority
on mental diseases, and he made call
to see how bad the case was. He
found the patient seated on the door
In the middle Of the room. with her
hair down and a broken chair beside
her. At the first glance he decided that
she was crazy.
"Well?" she asked after they had
stared at each other for half minnie.
"Ycu are not feeling very well?" he
half queried.
you are an internal liar!' she
promptly replied.
DR.. Beazler smiled like the bloom on
bull thistle and sat down. As he sat
down the widow jumped up. He read
his peril In her eyes and made a bolt
for the door and got most of his body
outside before her foot hit the rest Of
1t. That settled 1t. The newcomer
was as crazy as March. April or May
hare. She must be restrained. The
law must be appealed to. The village
was agog over the news. but it had
something more coming to 1t. Next
day and before any steps had been
taken the smiling and good natured
widow was asking the neighbor why
he didn't cut more grass for his COW.
She was at the grocery ordering big
bill Of eatables. She was bowling to
DR.. Beazler across the street. and she
repaid three or four social calls Crazy :?
Why. the person that said SO must be
born fool. She was just lovely, she
was.
| Five times In one year the widow
had those queer spells. Then the good
Deacon Watkins came from a distance
Of nine miles to court her and win her
hand and carry her OF to Medina. 1t
was all done In six weeks time, and
none Of the villagers posted the wooer
as to those strange spells. He had
been a bridegroom for several weeks
and was still feeling mushy when one
Of them came on and gave him the
surprise of his life. He was cutfed
and kicked down cellar and upstairs
and out Of the house. and for two days
he ate raw turnips and slept in the
barn. Then peace and love were re-
stored and all went merrily. There
were four outbreaks before the deacon
began to think Of divorce. Then he
went to his pastor to talk things over.
"She doesn't get hold Of liquor?" ask
cd the pars0n.
mot q drop; not even cider"
"Was there insanity 10 her family!"
| "She says not"
deacon. you run the house, don't
your asked the parson.
Eyes, kinder-that is. ! guess do"
| (which means that your wife does"
| "Umv'
The parson reflected for Eve min
utes. and then for five more he was
busy whispering into the deacon's
right ear. Then the deacon smiled
and nodded and went home. The next
day the parson went on his vacation,
and it was six weeks before they met
again.
"Wellr' asked the parsou.
"She started In to have another"
"And you
"Gavs her the sad-pcked her good
and stout"