New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-20
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Blair jacket thus pictures the varsity
coxswain In an article on American COL
lege Rowing in Outing: There is one
important member of the crew, however,
who is mercifully excused from all OF these
indoor inducements, /. e.. work on the row.
ing machine. He is the coxswain. The
coxswain is a tabloid, o-pence-halfpenn
edition Of a navigating department In an
eight-oared shell. Physically he should
hardly be worth mentioning; mentally he
ought to be a Gargantua. Muzzled with
megaphone he doesn't seem to do any
thing but SIT complacently about seven feet
from the end of the boat facing the stroke
oar, the rudder rope wrapped around his
stomach"
Gibbs-These woman suffragsts are de-
termned to upset existing conditions, aren't
they?
Dibbs-Upset is the word. Not satisfied
TO rock the cradle, they want to rock the
boat.-Boston Transcript.
A woman whose friends knew that an
invitation to dine at her home means
bridge after,dinner surprised her guests re-
Gently by telling them that instead OF the
usual entertainment there would be old
fashioned" games after dinner. This was
more in Difference to a couple who Just
hated cards" Tables were arranged for
lotto, "g1ocke ind hammer" and number
OF other time killers. The party dispersed
earlier than usual, and" said the woman
In telling the story. "one couple remained
because the man could not find his hat
as he said-and rushing back shouted. Now
for game. to our delight. We had just
taken our places when the bell rang, and
another couple appeared. thinking we were
alone. also with a game in mind. Well,
pretty soon we had more visitors and the
evening ended with two-table party. l
have been cured Of the old games idea.
Have they been married very long?"
Il guess so. lie never talks back 10 her
and she appears 10 be satisfied II he gets
home after midnight.-Detroit Free Press.
A special train loaded with prize agri-
cultural products grown by school children
in a statewide garden contest engineered
by l.. r. Alderman, State Superintendent or
Schools in Oregon, will invade the East
this fall. Oregon has applied scientific man
agement to school gardening to demon
strate what children can do to develop the
economic resources Of the state and check
a backward and unpromisins tendency tow
and overspeciallzation in agriculture in that
growing commonwealth Backed by the
state Bankers Association, the Leading
breeders, the State Fair Board, the Oregon
Agricultural College through It's extension
division. and the oregon Development
League, Professor Alderman, the originator
of the idea" says The Survey" expects
to enlist 70 .OOO out OF total OF $4,000 school
children in general agricultural and in
dustrlal competition. Already in every
county the contests are starting
THE GUILELEss RUSTIC
Said Sheriff Jones to Farmer Brown.
Here come some auto folks from town;
From which | argue business should
Quite soon be getting purity good.
Take down the sign where they might read
Tho limit of the lawful speed.
When 1 have fined EN- fur their spin
You drive your pigs an cattle In
The middle OF the highway, where
They may git hit If grouped with care.
Some damages Well make EN- pay
Before they travel on their way,
And further down the road we'll 60
And with assistance from hoe
And water from "A nearby dltch
Wen have a mud hole deep an rich
With sticky clay. Beyond a doubt
They'll need a team TO haul EN- out
Then as they travelled on their way
We heard the farmer sadly say:
IT'S terrible TO read what jokes
Town people play on country folks"
Washington Star.
Speaking Of the popularity Of vulgar
songs. one OF which IS said to have brought
tho composer $4,000 America says:
Filling tho songs stanzas with slang. vul-
garlty. cynlcism. mawhshness and down.
right nonsense apparently will assist rather
than prevent its having a good vogue, for
the public TO which appeal IS made IS not at
All critical or fastdious. Even men and
women OF refinement ard breeding. II Is
much to be regretted. catch the infection
and begin 10 hum songs that illiterato
poetastcrs have written and music hall
performers and negro Ministries have made
popular. Catholics, however, let us hope
will use some discernment in selecting what
songs they sing. for music and morals are
near relatives"
Papa" began little Billy, ~ they should
want TO cut out my ap-ap =
"Cut out your appetizer supposedly
calculated his sire. what are you talking
about a., ,,, -
Not my appetite; my ap-appendix. The
doctors would have an awful time finding
IL. / guess 1 don't know where IL Is my
self"-Judgc.