davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-09

profanity produced by another man, he
often takes the producer by the neck and
cleans off half block of sidewalk with
him. 1t takes a very intelligent man
to start quarrel without the aid of
profanity, but with its help anyone can
cook up a fight in three minutes.
Profanity is not refined, and IS regard
ed with horror by the best people, ex-
eept when it is heard on the stage. If
the hired girl were to say damn" in the
average family, she would be fired forth
with, but this word is always greeted
with great applause in a play, and is a
great boon to the weary author, who
would otherwise have to think up some
thing original at that point.
Profanity Is not hard art to acquire
It can be learned in the home with the
aid of telephone or weak-chested
furnace in a very few lessons.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-09

al of Tucumeari, has purchased the
business of the Model restaurant on
Second street.
Preparations are about completed for
the Quay county teachers institute,
which viii met in this city the fifth
of August, lasting until the 18th, the
course embracing 10 DAYS study. Ex-
aminations VIII be held on August Is
and II and first, second and third grade
certificates issued.
The board of county commissioners
convened Monday, after adjournment
from last Tuesday. The matter of the
assessment Of the school districts was
taken up and a number of bills acted
upon
A mass meeting was called IN San
Jon for July s to devise some means for
obtaining a new school house, which
is said to be needed badly. A prelim-
mary melting was held IN that town
last week.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-09

this country needs but do not make connections with the
and useful deed half the energy expended
and the like would shameful highways if ex
hausted the pike Hosts of Windy ms have thuuegcd on
Chicagos pleasant shore; of Windy Jms binn-
through Baltimore That's the way men
save the nation these foolish futile years, holding big
convention where they bawl ike brndled steers All their
platforms deluson all their pledges hot air. all they
give US is confusion and chance to brood swear All
a thousand pes that thus long have sinneI One
good road connecting cities beats thousand years Of
Politics is mostly page when isn't foolish noise GOOD
highway village would be better for the boys recall
referendum change in Schedule K Catch the Windy
Jms and send EN- to drag the broad highway
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-09
BY GEORGE FITCH,
PROFANITY
Author Of cat Good Old Siwasb"
Copyright, 1913. by George MathewAdams)

ROFANITY Is Biblical language
~ with a reverse gear, and is used
i to back the owner out of the
straight and narrow path.
Profanity Is convenient IN many ways.
In case Of anger it Is supposed to pre-
vent the peeved person from blowing out
through the seams. After a man has
emitted about 10 cubic feet OF high ten
sion profanity his pounded thumb feels
better and he no longer desires to throw
the hammer through a $40 window pane.
Profanity Is also used industrially by
steamboat mates and automobile owners.
1t is next to impossible to operate a
steamboat without a full head of pro-
family. In the case of the automobile,
profanity does the machine no good, but
enables the owner to endure the sport.
Pilots Of Iarge-eared and patient rules
use swear words as a sort of self-starter.
A mule who viii allow a fire to be built
underneath him without taking any in
terest in it, viii wake up and walk off all
by himself after his owner has pelted him
with a bushel of PolygOnal swear words
Profanity is also used by poor takers
to fill in blanks in their conversation
when their brains are missing fire. By
the aid of profanity, a man with a one
candle power brain can talk steadily for
a long time slipping in one cUss word to
two ordinary words and thus making his
supply last longer
Profanity Is mostly descriptive and Is
very vivid. Some OF it Is such accurate
description that after a man has finished
using it, the air smells like an old
fashioned eight day match. Profanity Is
also very irritating to the hearer. After
man has listened to i few minutes Of
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-09
One-Sentence Philosophy
REFLECTIONS OF A 8ACHELOR
New York Press).

ENbh LEOIIONS OF \ BACHELOR.
(New York Press).
Even If your ship comes in from the
high seas, she wants to anchor off
shore.
A woman with a hole in ner stock
ing Is scared almost to death of a
car step.
The man who likes to get up early
ought TO be able to lie about any
thing
Women have such queer ideas they
think a man could save money better
by not spending it,
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-09
GLOBE SIGHTS.
(Arrbfco1 CToLoh

It sometimes happens that a sweet
faced girl has sour disposition
If a fight is a draw, both sides are
pretty apt to claim a victory
Crops are seldom as badly damaged
as the board Of trade reports indicate.
To err is human, but one shouldn't
prove his humanity by that means ex-
clusively.
Perhaps you can't get just what you
want by arbitration bHt il is cheaper
than fighting
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-09
The Battle of Adrianople
By REV. THOMAS B. GREGORY.

nally before the Mohammedan power
1t held on until Europe had settled
down into the civilization which was
able to save il from the oriental des-
pOtism.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-09

little left for me to do. I have been
to the bank, and find that owing to
the ridiculous discussion which took
place. The manager in handing you the
notes, omitted the customary precau-
ton Of taking down their numbers. All
we car do, therefore, is to endeavOr to
trace he criminals by means of their
descriptions. But this is a tedious pro-
cess and not always crowned with
success.
He handed me the card which the
bogus, detective had given him,
An alias. 1 suppose 1 said And
Walter Craft is not an Inappropriate
name for one of his calling"
A CLEAN of something life self-con-
tempt shone in the old mans eyes.
Scarcely as appropriate as my own.
he exclaimed savagely, for if any man
richly deserves the name Of jay, am
certainly he!-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-09

-HE battle of Adrianople. fought
1859 years Ggo-July 3, 32S-
= must always be recl1oned among
the tremendously decisive conflicts Of
history.
The chief actors in the great battle
were Constantine, known afterward as
the Great" and Licinius, who, as was
the case with his competitor, was
struggling for the magnificent prize
Of the sovereignty of the Roman en-
pire.
But seldom in this world have greater
or more farreaching issues been at
stake, and probably neither one Of the
contestants, or any one of the mighty
multitude who were engaged with
them in the struggle, had the taintest
conception of the fact that what they
were doing that day was to tell upon
the political fortunes of mankind Tor
more than II centuries to come
It is probably true that the world
loves a good fighter" and II Is on
that account, perhaps, that COnStan-
tines fame has lasted so long. Con-
stantine was one of the worst men that
ever lived, and he did nothing in the
whole course OF his life that was NOR
ally great, but he was an excellent
fighter, and was never known to show
the white feather
He greatly needed the fighting blood.
for at the time he threw his hat in the
ring and announced to the world his
high aim there were, in all, six able
and energetic aspiTants for the i'm
perial hOnOrs. Galerius died a natural
death and Maximian was murdered,
leaving but four rivals for the purple
MaXentius was drowned in the midst
of his defeat a. the Milvian bridge,
and MaXimian, dying soon after, the
contest was narrowed down to Con-
Stantine and Licinius.
Constantine and Licinius were both
able men, but Constantine was the
ADLER, and was. besides, the better
general, and at the renowned battle
of Adrianople he put his last cOmpeti-
tor out of the race for good and found
himself recognized as the sole master
of the Roman world.
He was now emperor of both east
and west, and was so secure that any
attempt to usurp his power was out Of
the question.
Five years after the browning victory
at AdrianOple Constantine did some
thing that seemed very foolish and sac
religious to many of the best people
of his time-he turned his back on the
COnstantinOple, which he made the Of
fetal capital of the empire.
The new Rome. said to be the most
charm ngly situated city on the earth
remained the capital of the eastern en-
pire from its foundation in 32S to its
capture by the Turks in 1883, just 80
years before the discovery of the new
world by Columbus, period of 1,lSO
years.
The sequel showed that the founda-
ton o. COnstantinOple was, after all,
a very wise move on the part of Con-
Stantine. For generations the splendid
city on the BOsphorus served as the
bulwark of Europe against the iGrOads
OF the Turks, and, though falling fl
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-09

Il can't help thinking about myself.
That's the human instinet-to worry
over trifIes-"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-09
UNCLE WAITS DEEATURED POEM
A Suggestion
By Walt Mason.

accustomed a ping up without
highways we'd splendid
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-09

It's funny how fast some fellers walk
an don't git anywhere. What's become
o tn ole TING party man that ID vote
fer a yeuer dog if it wuz on his ticket?
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-09

AN INDEPENDENT DAILY NEWSPAPER
TO THE
CHAMPION,
controlling The Herald
A Martins
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-09

ROFANITY Is Biblical language
~ with a reverse gear, and Is used
Il to back the owner out of the
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
CITY OFFICIALS TO
Be CHOSEN TUESDAY
CAMPAIGN FOR POLICE CHIEF
APPOINTMENT is WARM
Several Candidates in the Field With
Real Race Between Gurdane and
Downey-Fitz Gerald Or ParlSes for
Recorder; Carter for City Attorney.

Tomorrow night will decide the fate
of several aspirants for the offices of
chief of police and city recorder un-
der the new administration. The
council will meet in secret caucus
then to decide among themselves up
on whom the Offices will be confer
red and the session behind closed
doors promiA IS to be an exceedingly
interesting one in view of lack of
unity in the choices of the different
alderman
Among the men who have been per-
sistently mentioned for the chieftain-
ship are Tom B. Gurdane, the present
incumbent and who has held the Of
flee for the past six years, John
Kearney, night officer for a number
of years, Dan Downey. and Dudley
Evans, we'll known brakemen, John
Heathman and Tom Means, both ex-
chiefs of police.
Gurdane VS.. DOwney.
However, if the words of those
whose ears have been close to the
ground can be believed, the race has
narrowed down until only Gurdane
and Downey are in the finishing
struggle with the chances very much
. in favor of the former. Evans
Heathman and Means have never beer
formidable candidates. but KearneN
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
KEEF{ PREDICTS
SUCCESS IN 1912

A year has passed, and another has
taken it's place. The uncertainty of
the new already seizes us, but there
must be no faltering. 1912 will be a
year of success or of failure for Pen
dleton. A year of advancement, pro-
gressive development. or year of ret
repression. Which shall it be?
With optimism and hope we look
into the future, and many of us fatal
istically await the joy or sorrow that
Ii may bring. Men are not the crea-
lures of circumstances, but circum-
stances are created by men. AS we
SOW this year, so shall we reap.
Now Is the time for every man to
resolve that he will do his shore in
creating circumstances that will re-
dound to the good of the city. He can
show his good spirit and patriotism in
no finer way than enlisting together
with his fellows in the Commercial
club of his city. With three hundred
OF more Pendleton men in the har-
ness, Pendleton will be in better con-
! dition than ever to meet any emergen-
cies that may arise.
The Commercial club is for Pendle-
ton. and should be representative Of
Pendleton. Every man who lives here,
should contribute his share to the well
fare of us all. No man but has some
influence for good or bad in COM
munity. The civically passive indi-
vidual lends an example that is easy
| for others to copy, and that state Of
feeling is infectious. On the other
hand, the active loyalty to the city is
a wholesome perfume that pervades
the innermost recesses of commun-
ity.
/ We hope that every man in the city
Of Pendleton will see where his duty
lies, and that he will be big enough
to forget the petty things, and con-
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01

Chinaman in order TO secure a two
dollar loan. Gus Schultz has a case
of obtaining goods under false pre-
lenses hanging over him, he being the
man who presented a bogus order to
H. H. Vessel
Assault with a deadly weapon is the
charge pending against James
Roach, the Umailla man who was re-
Gently arrested following an alterca-
ton at the railroad town Ed Myers
is accused of the larceny of a gelding
from A. B. Cooley, the we'll known
farmer.
George Cannon, the man arrested
at Athena and charged with stealing
grain from Charles and j. E. Mclean
on December 20 and of disposing of
the same to George Lorimer, will
probably afford cause for another
larceny case
William Thompson is accused of
stealing property from the tepee Of
| Alice Patawa, and a man by the name
of Montgomery is in jail charged with
assaulting a Chinamn. This is the
| case in which the accused hit the ce-
lestial over the head with a platter
| when attempting to strike negro.
Ed Hayes. the young man arrested
last week for tapping the till of the
Pendleton Ice & Cold Storage COM
pany for the past three years, is
| charged with burglary.
| Frank Clark, the man arrested for
| burglar 'zing the home of Fred Earle
| on Christmas. and Pat Doyle. the farm
Il
Thomas Thompson and sons and re-
fused to refund the money, complete
the list of men who will appear be-
fore the grand jury.
| However it is rumored that Charles
Workman, the young man accused of
seducing Evelyn Rugh and who was
| tried at the last term of court at
which time the jury disagreed, will
again be charged with the crime and
may be forced to stand another trial
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
SALOON KEEPERS AND w. C.
Il. u. AID DRUNKARDS
Continued from page onea

some woman of the family writes to
the league. asking for help.
One of the members looks into the
case. This woman detective gets the
names and addresses of the places
where the husband or son spends his
money for drink Then she goes to
the saloonkeeper and talks the mat
ter over with him.
If he refuses to acr at the first ap-
peal which usually falls on deaf ears
the league member tries a talk
with the drinker himself.
If this fails a printed notice is
given the sa,oonkeeper warning him
not to sell to John Doe" who is a
person of intemperate habits.
A copy of the liquor laws of Penn
sylVania goes with the notice and the
saloonkeeper has learned by this
time that failure to comply with the
notice means trouble getting a new
license next year.
A particularly hard fight was put
up on Christmas and New Years day
last wear to close all places where
strong drink is sold.
The court refused Mrs. Masters
request and her colleagues carried
the matter to the liquor dealers as
sociation. The dealers were ready
to promise if all the "speak-easies and
one-man clubs and barroom drug
stores were closed also"
But the women haven't given ur
the fight and mean to accomplish
their aim before another year.
While Mrs McMasters reluctantly
admits it's rather Utopian she Il
pushing a fight to have women bar.
red at all times from all places where
strong drink is dispensed. The work
Is beginning to attract country wild,
attention and letters are pouring in
asking for information relative to or
| gan 'zing leagues in other cities.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
Sunday School Teachers Class.

Through the Initiative of Rev.
Frank ]. Mines of the Presbyterian
church, class for the instruction of
teachers for Sunday school work in
any Protestant church has been or
ganized and will meet once each week
Rev. j. NJ. Cornelison, Tutuilla mis-
sionary, will have charge of the train
ing and declares his course will be
systematic and that diploma will
be given on graduation. Anyone in
terested is requested to advise with
him.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
Leap Year Social Tonight.

The Epworth League of the Metho-
dist church will conduct a leap year
party tonight in the church parlors
and every one is invited to attend.
Ladies are requested to bring their
gentlemen friends and the gentlemen
are requested to bring lunches which
will be raffled off to the girls by Mrs.
Stubbs and Miss Patience Peabody.
Boys without escorts have the privi-
lege of coming as "old maids" The
program will commence at 1880
sharp.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01

tribute to the bigger things. Let every
business man, professional man. or
otherwise feel that the Pendleton
Commercial club is representative of
the spirit Of the city. that it is the
criterion whereby he individually may
be judged. With a club recruited to
a large membership, wonders can be
done. and there need be no fear but
that 1912 will be a success.
]. e. KEEFE, JR.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01

favor because of his we'll known eff
cheney as an officer. However he has
declared openly that he would not
make race against mis- present chief
and unless Gurdane, by an unexpect-
ed turn of affairs, is put out of the
running, he will probably stay free
from the contest
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
either or both offices vacant.
Carter for City Attorney.

The appointment of the city attor-
ney is in the power of the mayor. sub
ject to the approval of the council.
and, from street talk. it is quite GER
tain that Charles II. Carter is looked
upon as the man slated to solve the
legal problems OF the city under the
new administration.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
Dance Tonight!

The degree team of Pendleton Camp
No Al, w. o. W.. will give a social
dance tonight in Eagle
hall Admission so cents, ladies free.
A good time assured and all are in
vited
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
Bishon Paddock Here.

Bishop Paddock of the eastern Ore
gon diocese of the Episcopal church
left this morning for points west after
conducting services both here and at
Weston yesterday.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
Jerry Rusk Is Here.

Jerry Rusk Is Here.
Mr.. and Mrs. John p. Rusk of La
Grande are in the city today as New
Years guests. Mr.. Rusk, who was
speaker of the house of representa-
tives during the last session of the
legislature, is a candidate for the re-
publican nomination for congress from
the new eastern Oregon district.
While in this county Mr. and Mrs.
Rusk are to visit in the east end of
the county also
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
Laurent Grille is Opened.

Gene Laurent, the well known chef
who recently disposed of his half in
terest in the st. George grill, yester-
day opened for business his up-to-date
French grill in the Martin building
on the corner of Webb and Cotton
wood streets.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
Ex-Speaker of House Here.

John Rusk, we'll known La Grande
attorney and the last speaker of the
house in the Oregon legislature, with
his wife is spending New Years day
in the city, the guests of DR.. and Mrs
1. U. Temple.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
Judd Buys New Car.

Fred E. Judd, vice-president of the
American National bank, has sold his
Cadillac car to George Woodward of
Adams and has purchased another
machine of the same make.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
n. p. Local Changes Time.

Beginning today the Northern Pa
cific local running between this city
and Pasco daily will leave Pendleton
on the return trip at 1850 instead of
1880 as in the past.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
Newsy Notes
of Pendleton
Moodman Dance Tonight.

The degree team of the Woodman
of the World will give a public dance
il. the Eagle Woodman hall tonight
and all are inyited to attend.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
Commercial Club Meeting.

Secretary ]. E. Keefe announces a
brief meeting of the Commercial as
sociation for tomorrow evening and
requests a large attendance.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
Downey Backed BY Mayor.

Downey bases his hopes on the
backing he is credited with receiving
from Mayor-elect Matlock. lie has
declared to some that he was definite
ly promised the marshalship follow
ing the support he gave Matlock in
the election and has intimated to
friends that victory Tor him is GER
tain.
However, the office of marshal does
not rest in the hands of the mayor.
according to the city ordinances, but
IS at the disposal of the council with
the approval of the mayor. In the
council Chief Gurdane has staunch
friends who are fighting hard to re-
tain him in the position where he has
served SO long and indications are
that they have not made their fight
in vain for his friends freely predict
that the present chief will secure
enough votes on the first ballot to
elect him.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
GRAND JURY MEETS JANUARY q

CONTINUED from page one.)
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-01-01
Fitz Gerald May Stay.

Indications are also favorable for
the retention of Recorder Fitz Ger
aid in the office which he has occu-
pied for nine years, but rumors have
been rife that Justice of the Peace
Joe H. Parkes would accept the po-
sition. However, the general feeling
is that the present incumbent will be
kept.
The council will hold its first regu-
lar meeting on Wednesday night and
if the secret caucus has determined
that either or both of the present in
cumbents must be supplanted. reso-
luton must first be passed declaring