davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS
(Clncinnati Enouirer.l

No matter how ornery her husband
is. a wife Is always glad that the
other woman didn't land him.
Nowadays the parent who tries to
train up a child In the way that it
should so has to go some.
The men who resard women as toy,
are always attracted by the ones who
display the most bright paint.
Keep this under your hat. men. and
don't let It go any further. They
have gone back to the p%et,icoat. II
IS only one lone one, but it Is a starter.
4 TOOL man will fuss around for two
years trying to win a SRI when hs
met her II he had opened his mouth.
Isn't it. funny that a man always
aas his doubts about the other fell
lows girl. but always knows that his
g;rl Is pure and irreproachabie:
know am a d!sturber. but ! don't
Like the Aims shown In the moving
picture houses. The men are all too
Pretty. and the women remind me Of
the chalky-faced hero!nes we used to
have in the good old tank meller-
dramas.
I would hate to be arrested and
have a jury CT married women try
men are. and silver-tongued law.
IS why women like to have insurance
solicitors call and entertain them at
the front door while the neighbors
are peeking out Of the sides Of the
window shades.
The wedding day kiss Is loaded
With n~itroglycerin. but three ear
later II Is charged with sawdust.
The plump girls are not letting the
cold weather styles worry them. Some
Of the coats are SO tight that they
display the .idge made by the top If
the stocking.
Thirst is thirst and culture il cul-
ture. That is the reason the prin-
cesses do not try to drink beer through
a straw.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21
r THE BALLOT.

The Times is informed that a seri-
$ effort is to be made at the ap-
.oaching session Of the legislature
bring about the adoption Of a res
ution for a constitutional amend
ent providing for the short ballot
- North Dakota, or al least for the
aterial shortening of the ballot that
e now have. 1t is to be hoped that
Ills movement Hiil be successful.
For one thing. the movement for
his great reform is not in any sense
artisan. Able men of all parties
declared for it. Former Presi-
n Roosevelt has been one of its
igorous supporters. President Taft
: heartily in favor C it. President
lect Wilson is an official of the Short
:;allot association, and has both spok-
n and written in favor Of the change.
'ther eminent men Of all factions
been ana are active promoters
f the movement. There is every
"sason, therefore. why there should
70 no opposition to the movement
party OF factional grounds from
republicans. democrats, progressives,
"r members Of any party or any fac
ION. unless the opposition comes from
he small group Of professional poll
.icians who thrive on their ability
% pull the wool over the eyes Of the
general public, a process which is fa-
,il.tated by the absurd and vicious
ballot system under which We are at
work.
There r men elected to office at
every general election where candi-
dates are numerous whom no man
with the responsibility and
authority Of a really effective appoin.
tive power would dare to appoint.
They are elected because the Offices to
they IRE !.osen are offices In
the people take scarcely any in
Of whose details they have lit
tie knowledge. and about whose In.
they neither know nor rare
rap. Such Offices should be made
and the appointing power
would then be held responsible for the
manner in which the duties were pes
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21
POINTED
(Chicaeo "


Kisses sometimes speak louder than
words.
Be sure she is the right girl. then
lose your head.
Many a girls ideal is shattered when
he zoe broke.
Every silver lining has its dark
cloud. says a pessimist.
It's easier to pose as a promising
young man than a paying one.
And many a third-class politician Is
drawing a f1rst-class salary.
When a man agrees with you at all
times look for the AK he has TO grind.
Forgive your enemies: If you have
no enemies. forgive some Of your
friends.
No, Cordelia. the bride never mar.
ries the best nan at her wedding, but
she probably thinks she does.
The average man nearly always
manages to get caught in the act when
he has occasion to perform q charit-
able deed.
Nothing is calculated to worry a
man more than TO have his wife in
form him that he has been talking
In his sleep and then refuse to tell
him what he said.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21
POINTED

Our idea Of q freak Is a man who
outtalk his wife.
A shiftless man 10 one who eats to.
morrow's dinner today.
Every great actress has her man.
ssey-but the title Is a misnoMer.
up a howl II he gets kicked.
Most Of the things a woman wants
are on the other side Of a barbed wire
fence.
And some women love dogs better
they do men. probably because
dogs can't talk.
If a man boasts Of his past after
It's a sign no didn't get the
right brand.
He Is truly a great man who a
all his neighbours to think as
much Of him us he thinks OF himself.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21
5000
TIPS FROM TEXAS.

(nQllaR NA~s

. . Q
(DaIlas Nsws.)
When a young man 10 In love with
a girl he. would. rather hear her .whis-
tie than to see Paderewski hamstrinR
z piano.
If the statistics were available prob
ably 1t would be found that half the
time a man thinks he 10 . crackerjack
he is the other kind Of a Jack.
a modern woman 10 a person who
and then consumes the reading mat
ter. after which. II she has plenty Of
time. h occasionally casually scans
the household hints.
Another reason why advertising
doesn't pay Is because a bride likes
Tor the nridegroom.s folks to kiss a
Our idea of q saint 10 any LADY, WIN
can lose . lot Of her teeth without
losing any Of her temper.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21

dead beat. who hos worked his credit
no effort to pay. n doesn't care Il
whoop whether no ever pays or not.
no Ia the man who knows that the
government IL at the bottom Of the
whole business.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21

for small target shooting. In other
rifles the flight Of the bullet causes a
sharp sound like the cracking Of a
whiplash. a sound not heard until the
powder explosion 10 sileaced.. There
fore. says Mr.. Maxim, when you see
q stage burglar within . few feet Of
people and other stage properties with
a 'sileaoed" revolver or pistol or even
with . orown-up rife don't take him
too seriously. He has to be rockoned
with only behind the footlixhts.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21
. . b . 4 =.
NO "NOISELESS" PISTOL. .


(New York Evening Post.)
There are two reasons says H. p.
Maxim, why the frearm silencer Is of
no value to the criminal who wants
a noiseless revolver. In the first place,
1T won't Silence" revolvers, and. in
the second place. such attempts to use
1T extremely dangerous. In the
o~ld-fashioned revolver" the crack
between the cartridge chambers and
the barrel renders q muzzle silencer
useless. And in the automatic pistol
ne imprisoned gases rush out into
the face of the shooter with disastrous
results when the hreech automatically
opens. Besides. eve In rifles, the
Hence does not eliminate the Crack
OF the bullets passage through the
air. except where the muzzle velocity
is below 100 feet per second. The
only rifle with SO low a muzzle veloc-
lily as this is the 0.22 caliber. popular
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21
MATL. ORDER FIGHT.
''Uncle San. Is Our Partner" snrs
Liquor nealer

Wash'ngton: Dec. Ala circular is
ing this words Uncle Sam 10 mart
nsr." wat displayed In tho ssnsts
chamher today by senator Kenyon a
an illustration Of the extent TO which.
he said, the United States wss heinz
drawn Into the violation OF local pro.
hthitson laws IN dry" states,
Senator Kenyon made the principle
perd.Kenyon hill to prohlbit shinnnsnt
of liquor by any channel Of interrtHte
commerce across the border Of a Dry
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21
@R!s4MgE7Ry@@9RG&2.
x.

Socialism, as entertained by most
people. is summed up in a story of
two 1rishmen. who were discussing
the beauties of the theory. Sure it's
the happy time coming" said Pat.
lis brotherhood Of man. and
the good fellyship, Of all. If you had
twenty thousand dollars you'd let me
have tin Of them, wouldn't ye. Mike?"
~ would that" said Mike. heartily.
And ii you had a hundred horses
the half Of thin would be mine %
Faith they would" An if We had
two pigs, sure, ye'd give me one?"
I would not. Ye know perfectly we'll
1 have two pigs"
souri, farmer came to Kansas City to
spend a few days. and registered for
a room at n of the larger hotels.
When he learned the price he was
to pay fer the room he was stunned.
He considered it an extremely high
rate, but since he had already regis
tered he decided not to be a gutter,
and kept the room.
h first night. just as the farmer
a fallen asleep. the bell boy rush
ed into his room. turned on the light
and exclaimed:
Get up: Better hurry! The hotel
is on f1re!"
l.. The man raised himself on one ell
bow. scratched his head and blinked
at the boy: Finally he said:
We'll. If ] get up at this time O.
night you needn't think I'm goin'
to pay o for this here bed"
During the recent financial panic,
according TO a contemporary. a Ger.
man farmer went to a bank for some
money. He was told that the bank
was not paying out money but was
using cashiers checks. He could not
understand this. and insisted on
money.
The officers took him in hand. one
after another. with little effect. At
last the president tried his hand, and
after long and minute explanation,
some inkling of the situation seemed
to be dawntng on the farmers mind.
Much encouraged, the president said:
You understand now how 1t is. don't
you. Mr.. Schmidt"
II tink l do" admitted Mr..
Schmidt. IT'S like dis. aindt it? Ven
my baby wakes up at night and wants
some milk, I gif him a milk ticket"
When to Go.
A young author and critic. who has
come to be an authority upon a Ger.
tain modern phase Of education, wen,
q few days ago to deliver his first lee.
ture at a girls school. He had lectur.
cd before but at a "youne
ladies' seminary" and as two white.
frocked. c~urly-haired ushers led him
out to the platform. and he sat dowr
beside tho matronly principal among
the women who made up the faculty
and faced a sea Of girls faces. he wa,
young enough to feel a bit Of embar.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21

The man who keeps trying to pay
his bills and can't quite make It is
apt 20 be somewhat modest in his as
sertions as to how the government
should be run. But the professional
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21

rassment himself. 1t vas rather din
cult at first. but once the lecture was
started things went all right.
He finished what he had to Say and
sat down. The audience and the ma
tronly principal and the women who
made up the faculty clapped their
hands enthusiastically. Then the ap-
plause died down and silence settled
upon h lecture hall. The young
man sat on waiting for some one to
say something. dimly conscious hat a
move Of one kind or another was ex-
pected Of him. But his lecture was
finished; he had said all he had to
say; there were no questions from
faculty or students. A few Of the girls
began to fdget, but no one spoke.
The young man became unpleasant
~ aware thai he was expected to do
something and to do 1t at once: but he
did not know What to do. He reflect
ed miserably that he did not know the
etiquette Of a girls school anyhow.
And then there was a signal from the
principal and a move in the audience.
and the prettier of the two girl ush.
ers approached him, a little enbar.
; raised, a little shy, determined to do
her duty.
I'm so sorry. Mr.. B." she murmur-
ed. but I'm afraid you'll have to-
you'll have to start right this minute
If o wan to make your train"
Ironical.
What have you been doing at college.
my son?
You heavily drain my resources!"
And Willie replied. Dad. I've lately
Begun some Social Economy cours-
After making a record for them.
selves. some men are their own talk.
ing-machines.
Just . Jokclet.
Yes. my wife threw a plate at mt.
1t was a fine china plate. It broke
against my head"
Didn't she appear sorry after she
threw it,"
Yes. she appeared very sorry" =.
say" ~
She said she was a fool not to con-
troll her temper"
Good! And what else did she
say?"
She said she didn't believe she
could match that plate again II she
hunted the town through"
Acme of Pcrsistency.
Willis-They say his presidency ID
wonderful.
Gillis-it is. Whenever no start. to
Keep a score-card at a ball game he
continues 1t clear through the game.
A Suburban Remedy.
Mrs. Knicker-Did your doctor pre-
scribe for your dyspepsia?
Mrs. Bocker-Yes, he rave mo q
! medicine to be taken after cooks.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21

VINO spent fortunes and years In %.
lecting the many artistic gems that
MIR. WaTtleld now feeln proud In hav-
Ing come iuto possexsiou Of, A WON
aerful tapestry. from the 0obelin
looms adorns his hallway. and his
drawing room. furnished In Louis
embroidssies that once wore the stoles
OF priests. the copos Of S~auctunr!es
and beautiful cathedral walls. Then
too there are the wonderful creations
OF golden thread ~nsedlework with the
images OF tho Sainta stitched In colors,
the priceless labor Of Rdorin4 nuns
Of the Ecclesiastic duys. a cabinet 10
flled with smut and Jewel boxes. old
Watches and .ewelry, with enough
rare specimens Of the old art epochs
scum. All Of these Zen laden effects
OF the jewelers. art have h!stories Of
their own. one snuft box was given by
the Emperor Alexander to ono OF his
generals. an old watch encrusted with
enamal and Jewels in the shape Of u
small revolving globe has passed
through the hands Of Napoleon and
n jewel box has the imprint OF Ma
dame Recammier. and another Is
traced to Marie Antoinette.
In his dining room on the walls are.
done In fine needlework. the royal
arms Of Spain once In tho regal palace
at Madrid. The eminent actors paint
ings have been collected by him for a
number OF years and represent many
Well known artists-one Of Corot 10 Z
particularly priced work Of that great
master and hardly less precious are
the paintings by Dabigny and Jacques
and others Of the richly colorful Bar
bacon school.
St. Elmo.
1t is several years since "St. Elmo"
has been seen here and on that occa-
sion the ladies certainly turned out
in force as after the people We're all In
their seats there were about 400 white
shirt waists to be seen on the lower
floor. and the few men who had got
went up stairs 50 as not to spoil
the picture; this was on a hot night
i'll June and st. Elmo is still one
of the most popular plays.
st. Elmo will be presented at the
Metropolitan theater on Saturday,
December rs for two performances
and it Is quite likely that the ladies
will be greatly in evidence again.
Chores represent another formid.
able reason why boys leave the farm.
When the styles in mems hats gets
bad as possible, they may begin to
I'm nrOvA
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21
Acme NJ pors,stoncv

Wllis-They say his persietency Is
wonderful.
Gillis-lt is. Whenever he starts to
Keep a score-card at a ball game he
continues It clear through the game.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21
A Suburban Remedy.

Mrs. Knicker-Did your doctor pre-
scribe for your dyspepsia?
Mrs. Bocker-Yes, he rave mo a
medicine to be taken after cooks.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-12-21
st. Elmo.

Chores represent another formid-
able reason why boys leave the far2n.
When the styles in mems hats gets
as bad as possible, they ma begin to
Improve.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1912-09-20
The Best Woman.

Miss Susan H. Anthony, the social
rcformer, had no more bitter oppo
nent that Horace Greeley. the famous
editor and journalist II was for a
long time his custom TO wind up all
debates with the conclusive remark:
THE best women | know do not want
TO vote"
When the New York constitution
was being altered I'm 1867 Mics An.
thony laid trap for him. says bi.
ographer. She wrote TO Mrs. Greeley
and persuaded her not only TO sign n
petition herself. hut 10 circulate tho
paper and get 300 signatures among
her acquaintances.
In committee Mr.. Greeley, who was
chairman. had listened 10 the debate
and was prepared TO introduce 10 the
convention an adverse report lie
was just about 10 utter HIS usual set.
tier when George William Curtis
rose.
MIR, Chairman" said he. Il hold In
my hand a petition for suffrage signed
by 800 women OF Westchester headed
by Mrs. Horace Greeley"
The chairman's embarrassment could
hardly be controlled. lie had found
that one OF the best women | know
wanted TO vote,
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1912-09-20
NettIes IS substItute for COTTON.

NetUcs ~ ouDsttute Tor Cotton.
The search for a cotton substitute
has been going on In Europe for
long time, and many experiments
have been made with the common net
tie, which has been a promising plant
on account OF the strength OF It's nber
and It's ready growth Wild under the
most discouraging conditions. with a
large yield per acre. The great dlfi.
Guilty has been In separating the fiber
from the woody stem In a method
OF treatment that has been worked out
In the last two or three years. the
dried nettle stems are boiled about
half an hour In dilute soda I've. and
the loOHened libers are then separated
in machine with revolving brushes.
The material Is then subjected to a
number Of alternate boilings in dilute
I've aud thorough washIngs, both un.
der high pressure The product is a
mass OF yellowish flbers. free from
gum, that can be bleached. combed.
and spun into lustrous white yarn.
This IL claimed 10 have the smooth.
ness and softness OF fax, with a
strength even greater than that OF
hemp Tho yarn has been made into
brilliant damask. and can be used
alone or with other threads--for up.
holsteries, ribbons. and variety OF
fabrics.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1912-09-20
BIG INCREASE In
CATTLE RECEIPTS
Market Continues Strong With
Marked Advances in
Some Grades

Kansas City Stock Yards,
Sept. Ii, 1912. Cattle received
here this week n, 800, last week
65,S0O. same week last year Ga. :
600. Except for the scare Mon
day when the big run came in,
the market has been strong and
a little higher every day. Stock
ers and feeders are the big gain
ers, advancing half dollar at
least. and the yards well cleaned
up. Total shipments in the
country this week will exceed
$4,000 head. Best feeders sell at
S6.75 to $3.50, stake steers range
from 81. 60 TO $6.75. Quarantine
steers gained 80 to so cents
during the week particularly
the light steers that formerly
sold under $500. Most Of these
now sell we'll above that figure,
and good weight steers, which
have been scarce this week,
range from So. rs to 5. so. Kan
sas and other grass cattle have
token on some added value this
week. the best selling up to
1915. and few cattle under
1925. Prime cattle would make
new top here now IL the right
quality appeared. $10.75 not
being an extravagant guess for
the very best finished steers.
Colorado offered several con-
signments this week. embrac-
ing beef steers at $6.65 to $500,
odd head at $50. 90. heifers and
cows $4.75 to So. so. rstockers and
feeders So. so to Sc. 80. Panhandle
heifers made $500. Rains in
Kansas and Oklahoma last night
and to day, where 1t was needed
badly. will have the effect of
shutting off the cattle run next
week to a certain extent. Hogs
received here this week $500,
last week %, 700. same week last
year 40. 100. Pricesshave worked
upward this week. with a back
set yesterday. but the market
stronger to-day. Top to-day is
$S.S5. bulk of sales $S,45 to
$3.50. Runs are not expected to
increase soon, and no great
change in prices is expected.
The Government reports the
number of stock hogs in the
country Sept. LIST as ten per cent
less than an average year at that
date. Sheep and lambs here this
week II. 200. last week 80. 900,
same week last year 81. 100.
The market has advanced Is to
rs cents in spite of the big run,
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1912-09-20
Democratic Primary

A Democratic primary will be
held in the city hall tonight at
8 o'clock for the purpose of
electing SIX delegates to the
county convention which con-
venes in Cedar City Monday for
the purpose of nominating full
county ticket.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1912-09-20

and seems ready for another
squirt next week. Best lambs
sell at $500. fair to good around
$685.. feeding lambs $5.75 to
So. %. fat wethers around $6.S5.
yearlings $3.50, ewes $500 to
$500.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1912-09-20
Tho Main Point.

Why is Clara going so much with
that young college fellow? She is the
ohiy one apparently who can see any
thing attractive about him"
on. she thinks no Is a perfect bore.
put hiS college colors are so becoming
70 her complexion. when she wears
them at the football games"
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1912-09-20

For hire, a fine team Of driv
ing horses and a buggy, at
reasonable prices. Inquire Of
WALTER JONES.
The Daily Missoulian., 1912-07-30
ENTHUSIASM BROUGHT OUT
IN HORKAN'S KEYNOTE TALK

Helena, July 29.-(Staff Correspond
ence.) 1.-The keynote OF the progressives
was sounded by G. A. Horkan of
Forsyth. when he assumed the gavel
az temporary chairman. He said:
Gentlemen Of the convention: /
thank you for the honor conferred and
the confidence reposed In selecting me
as your temporary presiding officer
We have assembled In this. the capital
OF the state. for an upright and worthy
purpose. believing az we do. that the
time has come for the citizens of this
magnificent and resourceful commons
wealth. to display their colors. to un-
furl to the breeze their flag OF politi-
cal independence. to align themselves
with and march forward in a move-
ment. nation -wide In its scope. which
haA for Its basic and fundamental
principle the restoring Of the govern
inent. state ana national to the people,
no that all men will know that this IL
indeed. and In fact. "a government Of
the people. by the people and for the
people,
THE greater number OF you, whom
am addressing. have been lifelong
The Daily Missoulian., 1912-07-30

Helena July 2ssaf few than
d s the Auditorium this afternoon Never in the political history
enthusiastic gathering
there were loyal citizens Of the state sincere in their desire
allegiance
their declaration Of those principles
date
born the state party with the its
hOldO
Its Of
proceedings
platform
mentioned
danas and shouting their rcsol
climax
Montana
departure
their homes the good cheer invention - t
enton There others who
There the
democrats All actua motive
of the -" ''"'"'"
There was no hesitation whatever decision absolutely np
a asu an WIN o promptly
tine h % formed hay have state ekst and fight the
been accorded corporate interests under the
controlled
49," saw
The Daily Missoulian., 1912-07-30

republicans. You belonged to tha
party because of Its glorious history,
its uplifting and worthy principles. its
devoted love for the protection of life.
liberty and property.
You belonged to 1t because of its
great patriotic and moral leadership
embodied In the persons of Lincoln. OF
Grant of Blaine. of Garfield. OF Nc
Kinley and of Theodore Roosevelt
A Mere Skeleton.
Until recent years, II has been yo!r
ideal as party of progress, Of ad-
vancement, OF patriotism and of uplift-
ing leadership Today 1t has become
n mere skeleton. From party of
high and uplifting ideals II has become
party OF reaction and of selfish pur-
poses, under its present leadership.
Born in the cause of human free
dom, 1t Is itself today slave to boss
ism, corporation interests and corpor-
ate influences. Dominated as 1t now
Is. and was at the recent Chicago con-
vention. by its Barneses. its Penroses.
Its Guggenheims and its Lorimers. It
certainly Is but the plain unvarnished
truth. that the republican party, under