The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1912-06-21
HOG TIED
b. w. X ICE

comes in. The occupants of thes,
two big chairs want to hog-tie tn,
others. The good old mother is usu
ally hanging around somewhere askinI
Jesus to see to it that her children re
the cushioned chairs, and the other
get hog-tied. When the sons of Re
bedee were about to get turned down
have an idea that they intimatet
that they would not be in Heaven a
all, unless they got just the part the,
wanted. This was to bring about
discord. until Jesus suggested that h,
could get others. And he CAN.
In every congregation there are sew
eral grandsons of Mr.. James Boaner
ges. There are many Miss Boaneree.
too. If the preacher says anythin1
about their pet sins, they don't lik1
the preacher half so we'll as they fine
they love their sins, for they dom
want to have the Devil that is in then
hogtied. To them this simple little
matter OF preaching to congregation
and holding forth the word of life j.
only a foot stool compared with the
big chair that they are going to get
They call preacher, get their folks
to give a feast of Buff Orpingtons
and at that hour the unsuspectine
preacher gets hogtied and hobbled
and told where to head in at.
Some of these grand sons of Mr.
James Boanerges have gone so far
as to get into the ministery and they
bring along with them Mrs. Salome
and if they do not get the big chair
they are going to break a ham string.
They start some relatives to working
discord and there you have it. l once
went to place to preach where l was
told that every body was in the har-
ness and pulling frantically. l found
that the only harness any body had on
was pair of hold-back straps and a
rub lock. (Not entirely Originally. The
whole church was hogtied by Satan.
On the church board also these
Boanergeses are found. They have
had large experience in controlling
the selfish traits of the men in the
ministry who have succeeded in in
gratiating % themselves into the
good graces (?) of the brotherhood
sufficiently to be called Pre- Achers. (?)
They understand (?) these men
mighty we'll and very definitely.
Somt of these Boanergeses have
also got into the newspaper work. The
editors will send thirteen-dollar-a-
week reporter down to the revival to
see what he can learn. To him the
preacher is either sounding forth the
words of Eternal life, or else he is
whiting away his time and spelling
an hour each evening for his auditors
who should either be at the Scent |
shows or at home asleep. Of course
he knows? Perhaps he gets up two
columns each day to be used instead of
Peruna matter and if he ever read
anything in the Bible he has forgotten
it, yet the report is based on his judg-
ment? He probably would not be able
to distinguish between a gospel SER
mon and the story of a scene around
the deathbed of a parent where an
Migrate son lied about what he was
thereafter going to do.
Across the street is usually one of |
these Mr.. Boanergeses who is trying
to take my audience from me and |
proselyte them into his doctrineless |
literary society members hit and drift
ing loafers. He knows that he went
off to one of his own kind of school
where there is an unwritten motto |
over the doors, reading, He who enters
here will either go out from here
preaching what WE tell him, or else
ne will be sent home to his old father
who should not be called upon to fos-
ter son of worthless brain power
and heart force. Now our schools are
not like that at all. We give OURl
students the choice of their doctrines.
We 90 not try to Hog-tie ANY
BODY'S conscience, but we make
hem every one free in the Christ. Not
so with these other men. THEYI
know they are sectarian, but WE are
not. 1T WE graduate a young man
INTO one of the other churches, we do
lot even present bill to that church
or our work, but we simply telegraph
heir powers to be, and tell them we
lave one OF our number ready for
work in their ranks. If we could get
I'D OF these other fellows or get them
o see our great love for them and
heir institutions, have an idea thew
would all come over to us and unite
With us and then we would have union
With big "U." In OUR schools we
imply say. now young men it is not
matter of interest to us at all as to
What church you are going to preach
or when you go out and we do not
'retend to tell you what certain teach
ngs in the Bible mean, but you are the
uckiest soul you ever saw that YOU
anne here instead of getting Hog
led in some of the sectarian schools
1here they KNOW they are off CEN
err and are too stubborn to acknow-
edge it. If WE could eliminate their
alse doctrines and introduce ours
nd get them to take our name. then
ur life work would be complete and
ne angels would strike up a new song
n the added line below. This para
raph is intended for sarcasm and
ony.
Hog-tie means tying them I'D as the