davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
Tbs Limit on Toughness.

They were seeking to impress the
stranger.
''lf you really wish to get an idea
Of the toughness of New York toughs,
announced one, you should by all
means attend the annual ball given
By the Gorilla club. 1t is absolutely
the toughest stunt that is pulled any.
where. If you don't get action there
FOR your money you won't get it any.
where"
DO you mean that fights are com.
lnon at that half" inquired the man.
to-be-impressed. Am l to understand
that shoOtings-"
He got no further. One of the 9th.
ers leaned forward, solemnly took
hold of his sleeve, and remarked:
Fights? Shootings? Why, every
single person that starts to go into the
Gorilla club hall is stopped outside
and searched for concealed weapons
and, if he hasn't any-they give him
lsome!"-New York Times.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
nesouresfuI chIcsuosn Tempered
With the Truth, but Made He
Point, Just the same.

when all is said and done Chicago
people can beat the world in resource
fulness," said an envious New Yorker
An exile from that city wished to see
his wife OF on an eastern train that
positively refuses admittance to the
platform without ticket. He accom-.
panied his wife to the gate.
"'Just wait around on the platform
few seconds he said, and I'll come
through and help you arrange your
luggage
"'You cSnt go through said guile.
less New York friend. II you have
anything to say you'd better say II
now
THAT'S all right said the Chicago
man. I'll be there
Two minutes later he dashed IN
brandishing baby's milk bottle in the
face OF the astonished gatekeeper.
For heavens sake, let me through,
he said. I put this in my pocket at
the last minute and my wife has gone
on and forgotten it. The baby will
starve to death if she doesn't get It
The guileless New Yorker, who
lacked sufficient wit to see his own
wife and three small children Of
gasped in sheer envy, while the child.
less Chicago man, using milk bottle
as harmless weapon, fought bis way
through to the platform"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
Too Tall to Be a Soldier,

Nothing could illustrate better the
changes in the art of war wrought by
the evolution Of weapons than the
melancholy news that "Artilleryman
Arceau Of the Fourth Regiment at
Rochelle has been discharged on &C
count Of his height"
In the old days Arceau's prodigious
stature would have scared the enemy,
and poets would have chanted the glo-
ries Of the age which could produce
such redoubtable champions. Now,
however, smokeless powder has chang
ed all that. Invisibility Is the first
consideration on the field of battle
nowadays, and an artilleryman Of. six
feet nine might cause the discovery
and massacre Of q whole regiment
Paris Figaro.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
Easy Way to Wash Windows.

II have washed every window in my
house myself, and all in one fore
noon" said young woman who IL
noted for knowing the easiest and
quickest ways to do Homework to a
writer for the New York Sun. "And
what's more, l did not use a drop Of
water. No stopping around with wet
rags for me-" How do you manage
IT," asked the friend. Gust this way"
was the reply. II buy a pint Of dena-
tured alcohol which will wash two
dozen windows. Then l simply put q
little on a cloth and rub the window
briskly a moment. The dirt comes of
in a twinkling and the windows are
left clean and bright 1t takes Just
one-half the time and is only one-quar-
ter the work Of the old soap and water
way"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
The Mystery.

An old lady was going over the ZOO,
and after some time she went up to a
keeper and tapped him on the shout
der with her umbrella. "Well, num-"
said the keeper. Il want to ask you"
explained the old lady, which Of the
animals in the zoo you consider the
most remarkable" The keeper
scratched his head for a while. Then
We'll, num-" he replied, after
careful consideration, as you might
say, I've come to the conclusion as
the biscuit goes to the laughing n.y.
ena!" Indeed" said the old lady
in surprise; "and why do you consider
the laughing hyena so remarkable?"
well, num-" answered the geological
expert, he only has a sleep once a
week. He only has a meal once q
year. So what he's got to laugh about
Is a bloomin' mystery to mel"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
POSSIBLY TOO MUCH FOR HER
Man Should Have Recognized That
There Are Limits Even to
Fairy's Power.

Once upon a time a man who lived
out Bloomfield way did an unusual
service for fairy queen. don't re-
member exactly what it was; perhaps
he stepped into drift to let her pass.
At any rate she said to him in graft
tude:
Sir, for your kindness l will re-
ward you by granting you three wish
es. Name what you desire most in
all the world and it shall be yours"
The man who lived out Bloomfield
way thought a moment. He ought
have lived out South Orange way or
down Elizabeth way or over Arlington
way, but 1t happened that he dwelt out
Bloomfield way, and as this is a true
story, / must tell it exactly as it was.
He thought moment, and then he
thought another moment, making two
moments all told, after which he said:
Il wish people would quit eating
peanuts in the street cars. It gives
the cars such a vegetable air, and
besides, it is very harmful, for, as you
know, people should have cheerful sur
roundings at meals"
-. On hearing this request the fairy
queen vanished in a flash of fame
with deafening report, and the next
time the man got aboard a car to go
to his home out Bloomfield way, the
passengers were still eating peanuts
and the car had a breath.
This teaches us that fairies are not
all they are cracked up to be.-New-
ark News.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
Charming Old Boy.

Probably nothing In the world Is "a
wholesome as seeing an old man think.
ing himself young. Truly, a man Is
only as old as he thinks. Sometimes,
though, this tendency amounts to al.
most a frenzy and becomes wholly
irreconcilable and beyond all reason.
A case in point is emphasized in o
postal card received by the circuIa.
ton department Of this Famous Old
Daily from an eighty-three-year-old
subscriber down-state: Dear Sirs:
Why can't you send me the sporting
extra instead Of this five o'clock reg.
ular?" We have a mind that this
youngster will rock the boat, splash
the ladies, and cut up all manners Of
kid didoes on the trip across the
River Styx!-Buffalo News.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
Finally Took RECENT.

The baron had handed over his
wife's jewelry box to be put in the
safe.
I'll give you a receipt, baron" said
the hotel clerk.
Ell fancy 1t isn't necessary" re-
piled the baron with some hauteur as
he turned away.
He did not get far at once. He SEEM
cd to be thinking. He shifted his
weight first to one foot and then to
the other, spending several minutes
IN this profitable exercise. Then he
decided to 60 upstairs. At the end Of
an hour he returned.
Il have been thinking 1t over care.
fGlly," he said to the clerk, "and I
have come to the conclusion that per
AAps 1t might be better for me to have
. receipt" He got It
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05

Phys'sisn Has Found once Appur.
tsnanes Better Than Any Lock
and Key Yet Devised.

A physician who has had much trou-
bic with meddlesome servants, has
Just discovered a security ward in his
ONCE which he says is far safer than
q locked drawer or a safe.
Servants like to investigate things
In a doctors ONCE" he said. Every
new servant is a new investigator. A
locked instrument case is only a
temptation. They get into that, and
II caught explain that they we're only
busting the istruments. Servants oft
en- know as much or more about a doc.
tors private accounts than the doctor
himself. They rummage through
drawers and help themselves to any
thing they see.
Il had one servant who busted my
Office daily who, | found out one day.
was a habitual user of morphine. |
had noticed that bottle in my locked
chest was too often emptied, and one
day caught her slamming the door Of
the chest and then l knew. l said
nothing. l took the bottle of NOR.
phine tablets and placed them inside
human skull which l kept on my
desk. That was the last of the NOR.
phine thefts.
"One day | asked the servant why
she never busted the skull on my desk
In fact / reprimanded her for careless.
ness.
"'Oh, DOCTOR she said, I'm afraid
of bones. I'd rather lose my job than
touch that skull
And now" continued the doctor
I'm not afraid to put roll of money
in that skull. Its safer than any
safe"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
Average Woman Unable 70 ss Hso,y
Among Surroundings That Have
,...- Become Monotonous.

A certain woman was restless. She
was worn out, but II was not with
physical work. Her husband was
wiser, perhaps, than most husbands.
He did not send her to the top Of aI
mountain where she was the only in
habitant. He sent her to resort where
there were many new people, with
new personalities and new topics Of |
interest. She needed contact with the
world more than she needed a cool
climate. Frequently men who brush
elbows with dozen persons each day
DO not appreciate the solitude Of their
wives. Sometimes when a man needs
as a rest to get away from miscel-
laneous humanity. contact is Just what
is needed by his wife. Frequently
even II she has enough feminine so
ciety she lacks the society Of men.
Perhaps her husband never really |
converses, or Is able to converse, with
her A man hidden behind his news
paper at the breakfast table is not q
creation Of the comic paper; he is q
too frequent fact. Too often his wife
does not interest him because the
sphere which is imposed upon her is
too limited. Yet she may have been
so confined to her own Thoughts all
day that she feels she will 90 crazy
II she does not have some one to talk
sincerely with, or some other human
excitement. Birds often divide the
care Of the young, and when the fe-
male leaves the nest II is sometimes
merely for change and rest. There
are some who believe the French
woman is more content than the av-
erage woman in other countries be-
cause she has a share in the family
business. She is a partner, instead Of
sort Of upper servant-Editorial In
Golfers.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
Probably He Was Right In Consider
Ing the Game Of Chess Good
Deal Like Life.

When a young man | was fond OF
playing chess. One day as l was de-
liberating over a move in the middle
of a game l suddenly asked myself
whether an expert standing beside me
could predict what that move would
be. Not, l saw, unless l had a past
history as a chess player with which
he was familiar. If were a beginner
he could not tell whether l would ad-
vance a pawn three squares, or move
q castle aslant, or expose my queen
to capture.
All these, and multitude Of other
possibilities would be open to me and
therefore to his prediction. But If
had a knowledge of the game, these
possibilities would be closed. And If |
were an accomplished player, the ex'
pert at my elbow might whisper to
his neighbor, There is only one move
he can make. He must attack his op
ponent's king with his black bishop"
AS I then, without hearing the re,
mark, proceed to make that move
should l feel belittled to have the ex
pert announce that it was foreknown
Should l feel that having supposed my
act to be one Of freedom, l had now
been deprived Of something precious
and myself degraded into a mere
thing? On the contrary, l should
probably feel much flattered and con
graduate myself on being, and being
known to be, a player guided by law
Evidently, then, as personality en-
larges, conduct becomes more predict
able. That was the impressive lessor
taught me by this striking case.-G
H. Palmer in 'The Problem of Free
DOM"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
At Least, One Man Thought He Had,
But in Time There Came
Great Awakening.


"To my own satisfaction had solv-
ed the tip problem" said the man.
when We took refuge in hotel dur
Ing the renovation of our hown house
said: Hundreds for legitimate eX-
penses, but not one cent for graft.
From the moment we struck the hotel
sidewalk | adhered valiantly to that
policy. In vain did walters, cabmen
and porters extend an itching palm
and importune with hungry glances.
resolutely kept my hand out of my
pocket, with results astonishing even
10 myself. Instead of the neglect that
had been prophesied as inevitable,
servants embarrassed us with lavish
attentions. grew vainglorious. See,
crowed. THAT is the way to man.
age these fellows. Just make them
understand that you don't intend to
tip, and they will give you decent
service without it. If everybody
would pursue that policy the tip evil
would soon be abolished
Yesterday we moved back to our
own house amid the salaams Of the
hotel crew. To the last stuck to
my guns, but fancied that noticed
a suspicious movement of my wife's
hand toward her purse.
"Did you tip? said l Indignantly.
Certainly she said serenely
How do you suppose We could have
endured living there these two weeks
If hadn't been tipping all the time"'
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
The Horse Pedometers.

The whorls Of hair on the coats Of
horses and other animals are natural
pedometers, inasmuch as they regis
ter the locomotive activities Of the
animals on whose bodies they are
found.
The best examples and the greatest
number OF these hairy whorls and
crests are found on the domestic
horse.
A study Of the action of the under.
lying muscles explains the origin OF
these peculiarities in the lay Of the
hair and furnishes the justification for
calling them pedometers, although the
analogy is, OF course, merely super
fetal.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
Proof Enough.

"The climate Of heaven has been
determined by two youthful philoso-
piers" announced George Arliss, who
is appearing in Disraeli. while pass
ing along a muddy street the other
morning l heard Z little chap say to
bis sister:
att don't ever rain In heaven, does
It. Nayr
"Tn course It does, ye little
chump!' the girl replied. There's
where it's all a-comil' from, amt itr "
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
Then There Was Trouble.

There was an old Scotchman In
Glasgow who was moving from one
house to another on the same
street Being Of an economical
turn Of mind, he had moved his
bits Of furniture on the wheelbarrow
himself. The last thing left for him
to carry was one Of those old grand
fathers clocks. It was rather heavy
and awkward to handle. As he tod.
died up the street to his new home,
with grandfather's clock over his
shoulder, he met friendly Scot, who
had been imbibing. "Tak ma advice, |"
said the incorporate, buy ysrSeP Z
watch"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
One Old Ihlnu.

Said the superstitious friend Of the
conservative bride who eschews ex-
temes In dress:
Il do hope she will have good luck.
! wonder II she wore anything oldT
Yes, the fashions" said the friend,
whose motto Is style or death"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
Fatal Gas.

Illuminating gas has caused more
deaths in some states recently than
have scarlet fever, infantile paralysis,
or typhoid fever. In Massachusetts, 1t
has become an important cause of
death and serious sickness. The re-
peal Of the law regulating the amount
Of carbon monoxid in gas has been,
according to Prof. Sedgwick Of the
Massachusetts, Institute Of Technol-
ogy, one Of the direct causes Of the
increase here, and 1t is recommended
that the state 60 back to the old
fashioned coal gas and prohibit the
manufacture Of water gas.-Boston
Post.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1912-01-05
Claimed 40 Record Bridge.

Claim is made that the new bridge
spanning the Eel river at Weeott, Cal.
Is the longest and largest reinforced
concrete structure Of the kind In the
world. It Is 1901 feet over all.
Evening journal., 1912-08-14
CONCRETE in
TREE HARDENS
HIS APPLE CROP

NEW YORK, Aug. 14.-Charles
Bauermeister, who has a farm at
Fairfield, about two miles from Cald-
we'll, n. j., was a bitterly disappoint-
ed man yesterday and minus one gold
cap he used to have on a front tooth
Also he has lost his belief in tree
surgery.
Last fall he doctored an apple tree
that showed signs Of decay He
plugged the affected parts with con
crete and told his wife the tree would
bear the finest apples of any on the
farm. Yesterday he decided the ap-
Piles we're ripe enough to pick. He
had friends in for dinner, and glow
ing with pride, NJ BaueImeister
brought in a basket of the fine look
ing apples.
Not until the guests had made wry
faces, without a single compliment
about the apples, did Mr.. Bauer
meistsr try one A bite was enough
for Mr.. Bauermeister. His best gold
mounted tooth gave way under the
strain. The farmer now is convinced
that the concrete got into the fruit
There's only on thing to do with
apples like these" he sal "We'll
give them to the chickens. II might
help the egg shells to get harder and
then we'll send 'em to Europe with
out fear Of breakage."
Evening journal., 1912-08-14
IF YOU NEED A MEDICINE,
YOU SHOULD HAVE THE BEST

Although there are hundreds of pre-
parations advertised. there is only one
that really stands out pre-eminent as
a remedy for diseases Of the kidneys,
liver and bladder.
Dr. Kilmers Swamp Root stands the
highest, for the reason that it has
proved to be just the remedy needed
in thousands upon thousands of even
the most distressing cases.
Swamp-Root makes friends quickly
because its mild and immediate effect
is soon realized. It is a gentle, heal
ing vegetable compound.
DR. Kilmer's Swamp-Root is a ply
sician's prescription for special dis
eases. which is not recommended for
everything.
A Sworn Certificate Of Purity is
with every bottle.
For sale at all drug stores, in bot
ties of two sizes-fifty-cents and one
dollar
SAMPLE BOTTLE FREE BY MAIL.
In order to prove what Swamp
Root. the great kidney, liver and
bladder remedy will do for you. every
reader of the Wilmington Evening
Journal. who has not already tried it,
may receive a sample bottle by mail
absolutely free. Address DR.. Kilmer
g. Co.. Binghamton, N. Y. Write
to-day.
Evening journal., 1912-08-14
AN OCCASIONAL CLEANING &
PRESSING KEEPS CLOTHES
IN TIE BEST CONDITION

To keep clothing in the best condi-
ton It should be cleaned and press
ed frequently But in having clothes
cleaned. remember there are two
ways of doing It. The right way is
to have them dry cleaned. This sys-
tenn Of cleaning removes all dirt and
spots and restores the life to clothing
The old method Of securing" clothes
if persisted in will wear out clothing
faster than actual wear, while the
new method OF Dry Cleaning refresh
ems It.
Let us make your summer suit look
In August like Il did in June. Well
make your summer suit look like 1t
did when II came from the tailor
Wen clean IT, press It and have It
sent home in record time. We have
the reputation Of giving better salts
faction on cleaning and pressing than
anyone else in this city. Dry Clean
ing is the best way to have your
clothing cleaned Try the Re-Nu-It
System.
Let us keep your clothing cleaned
and pressed for one month. II. isn't a
costly transaction by any means and
will make your suit last much longer.
Our Rebuilt System Of Dry Clean
ing is the most improved method OF
cleaning clothes. This week we added
another delivery wagon to our in
creasing business in order that we
can Keep up with our trads.
Evening journal., 1912-08-14
POLICE SAY
THEY ENFORCE
THE MOVIE LAW

The Board of Police Commissioners.
at their regular meeting yesterday
afternoon. received a communication
from City Council asking why the
ordinance regulating moving picture
theatres was not being enforced by
the police.
President Jones. of the board, said
that he thought the ordinance was be-
ing enforced as far as it was possible
for the police to go. He displayed
a number of reports submitted by the
street sergeants and captains, show
ing where the patrolmen had and
were inspecting such places. Com
missioner Stayton expressed Mr..
Jones views. and both he and Mr..
Jones remarked that if the Council
wanted the Police Department to sup
ply the managers of the theatres with
men to look after their places, Coun-
Gil should appropriate additional
money.
Chief of Police Black said the po-
lice were doing everything possible
to enforce the law Just at this time,
however, with the men going on their
vacations, two men on motorcycle
duty and one doing mounted duty, he
said there was scarcity of men. He
said that at present there was no
Market street squad. and he had to
depend entirely on the district men,
whose beats border on Market street
TO inspect the moving picture thea
tres. He said he did not propose to
take the men off their districts and
leave them ungusrded at night foI
the sake Of placing them in front oi
moving picture places. The COM
missioners sided with him in the stand
he Is taking. The latter thought il
would be a good thing for the NOV
ing picture place owners to employ
their own special officers and allow
the selection Of them to rest with the
Police Commission.
Evening journal., 1912-08-14
EBENEZER YOUNG
FOLK In SOCIAL

Special to THE EVENING JOURNAL
EBENEzER. Del, Aug. IA
crowd Of young folks of this vicinity
spent a very pleasant time in Red
Mems Hall at Union on Saturday
evening. Ernest Lamborn furnished
music. Those present we're: Miss
Elizabeth Little, Miss Mabel f. Wor-
rail-. Miss Bertha Eastburn, Miss
Katharine p Mouseley, Miss Sara
Wilson. Miss Nellie Van SAINT, Miss
Mabel S. Davis, Miss Nell G. Neill of
Wilmington, Miss Elva Dempsey, Miss
Ada Mitchell Miss Rachel Mitchell,
Miss Erma Pennock, Miss Louise
Baldwin, Miss Irving, Miss Elsie
Slack of Newark, Miss Bessie Jones
of Wilmington. Raymond Bucking-
ham. Ernest Lamborn, Warren Buck
ingham, T. Harold Little, Thomas Van
SAINT John Dennison, Caleb Wilson,
Edward Van SAINT, Edward Worrall,
William Baldwin. Stanley Howell, Lee
Lewis, Frank Comfy. Clarence Hark-
ness, Leonard Avery, Willard Buck
ingham, Ralph Hill, Clifford Petit.
Herman Little, Clarence Little, Sam
uel Eastburn, Reese Jarmon, Taylor
AAooAbuiHt nay NuOuu NloOlt VI Iulh-
lyn.
PERSONAL-Mis Lora H. Little is
visiting Miss Emma Welsh at Mount
Cuba-Mrs. J. H. Geoghegan is en-
tertaining Miss Julia Paynter of Will
mington-Warren Buckingham was
recent guest with his cousin, Edward
Worrall-Mr. and Mrs George R.
Dempsey and son George, Mr.. and
Ms. T. jefferson Whiteman were Sun
day guests of Harry Davis and fam
ily-Mrs. Fred Strahorn and daugh-
ters Florence and Gertrude spent
part of last week with her sister,
Mrs. George Dempsey-Miss Alice b.
Moore has returned home after visit
ing Miss Anna Herlihy in Whining
ton-Miss Nellie NJ. Van SAINT spent
a few days last week with her uncle
and aunt, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Hig-
gins near Stanton-Mr. and Mrs Da-
vid r. Eastburn Of Red Mills, and
Mrs. Emma Buckingham were Friday
evening visitors with Thomas Moore
and family-Mr. and Mrs. Frank V.
Whiteman are entertaining Mr..
Whiteman's mother and brothers,
Mrs. Sara Whiteman and Willard
Whiteman. both o fWilmington-Mr
and Mrs. A. H. |. Eastburn of Union,
were guests of the latter's parents,