Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1912-11-29
MY WIFE'S
BIRTHDAY
By Carl So RENT CHASE

Ny hC.lls ~tA4'! " itis W t4t. nv \ I
Thursday wiz he your birthday. luu
know how uu>y am ana how the fur
uishinS of gifts for members of the
family dIottcSses me Rohby must
have birthday gilt for you AS well
as me, aud must provide his rs We'll
as milie. Will you please relieve me
of the responsibility by buying some
thing for me to give you aud some
thing for Bobby TO give your
This was not dispensing to my wife,
for she Is frugal woman aud would
rather buy gifts for herself than that
I should buy them for her, fearing
that would be too eXtravagant In the
matter. Besides. she has for some
time provided the family gifts for
birthdays and Christmas. However.
there Is one feature of the matter that
needs careful attention. Our boy, Bob
by, aged ten. Is not taken into the
secret He is supposed to assume that
buy his and my own gifts for his
mother
On this anniversary. being very much
engaged. after throwing the burden on
my wife's shoulders | did not even
take the precaution to have the usual
| consultation with Bob as to what ]
should procure for him for his mothers
birthday. The day before the anniver-
sary came round suddenly remember
ed the matter. reminded him Of 1t and
asked him what he would like to give.
He prefers to pay for his gifts out of
his own money and. having an eve to
business. suggested candy. we'll know
Ing that nine tenths Of 1t would 80 into
his own stomach. He gave me the
money for the purchase. and | straight
way informed his mother OF his choice.
telling her just what kind of sweets
he preferred for her. or. rather. for
himself
My wife left box containing my
gift for her In my closet. and so busy
was | that never thought to look at
it. The afternoon before her birth
day we walked out together. and dur
ing the walk she dropped in at candy
store and. finding better article than
Bob had suggested for less money.
bought II. carefully instructing me as
to the reasons should give Bob for
the change from his order.
That evening | took Bob into my
study. shut the door 80 that his mother
could not overhear our conversation
and showed him the candy. explaining
at the same time why the change had
been made. Unfortunately ! told him
double the price paid He heard me
through then said:
Papa. didn't suppose you would
allow any one to make such guy Of
you"
what do you mean?" I asked, quite
taken aback.
ITO charge you 80 cents for half Q
pound Of candy"
Not being able to explain the matter.
I tried to get out Of 1t by; directing his
attention elsewhere. 80 took the box
containing my own present for his
mother from the closet and began to
open It
Now. 1t suddenly occurred to me that
I was ignorant Of the contents Of that
box. While unwrapping 1t Bob asked
me several times what 1t was.
"You shall see." said. But the i'm
patient Bob did not see. for there was
a knot in the string that bound II
which found 1t difiicult to unite. 50
kept repeating, "You shall see. my boy,
what 1t Is II you will only be patient
when got the cover Oh discovered
that the gift had been packed in ex.
celsior. and I was obliged to hunt for
It This caused more delay. during
which Bob continued to ask "What ia
itY' and to reply You shall see.' y
But was cornered after all. for when
produced a little round glass recep.
tacle profusely gilded. with hole in
the cover. didn't know what 1t was.
what is 1t. papa?" again Bob que.
RED, this time with new meaning,
for he had never seen one Of the kind
before any more than l had.
Here was pretty predicament
had bought u present for mother with
out knowing to what use it was to be
put That was dead giveaway.
looked it over, turned It upside down
and took of the lid. but for the life OF
me ! could not make out for what II
was intended. Finally | hazardeI:
why. don't you know what that ia.
Bob? Why. it's IA thing lady puts
on her bureau to hold powder. and
that hole In the top is for the handle
of the thing she puts the stuff on her
face with. The handle sticks out
through the hole"
Having said this directed Bob's at.
tention again to his own present. and
he asked me II 1t would be allowable
for him to take Just one.
Having staggered through the matter
with Bob and come out whole by the
skin of my teeth. went to his mother
and said:
| "For heavens sake! Why didn't you
tell me what was the gift you had
fought for me to give you and what II
was forY'