The Holbrook news., 1912-04-26

1 school French might even serve to get him to Versailles and back again without serious mishap or extraordi- nary expenditure. But nearly all American visitors, both male and fe- male, desire for once in their lives to witness the far-famed near-naughti- ness of Paris at first hand, and that is where the guide comes in. Versailles, the Bois de Boulogne, the Louvre, a dinner at the Cafe de Paris, followed by night at the Folies Der gere, might suit a small minority of the American visitors, and a few of the women folk, after a cheap glove hunting trip, day in the dressmak- Ing establishments in the Rue de Ia Paix and a grenadine at one of the marble topped tables along the Boule- yard des Italiens, feel that they have seen all that is fit to see of Paris.
 Not so, however, with the great ma jority. Male and female alike clamor for the Moulin Rouge, the Bal Tara rin, the Abbaye, Maxim's, the Tavern of the Red Ass, the Rat Mort and other resorts of lesser repute. They seek to comb the narrow streets of the Latin Quarter that they may zee Bohemia with their own eyes. They are anxious to buy wine at the Dome for models who sometimes pose; they do not rest until they have visited the Bal Bullier, famous on five continents. Hence the guide-for 1t is an easier matter for a multi-millionaire to get by St. Peter than for an mustered" stranger to find some of these estab- ltshments.
 When an obliging young man offers to show you around town without any expense to yourself, what is more nat ural than for you to accept such a kind offer.
 Having accepted the gratuitous of fer of the American guide, you map out a tour for the afternoon and eve ming. we will say. Singularly enough, your guide is not satisfied with the first cocher who cracks his whip and solicits your patronage-he needs must go down the line and pick out certain driver.
 "This feller's on the level with his charges" the guide explains as you drive of 'T know him for a square cocher. Some of the others would most likely drive you of into some side street where the Apaches would hold you up and split with him."
 Having arrived at your destination by a more or less circuitous route, you pay the driver a sum which seems cheap when compared with a drive of the same length in the States, and yet 1t is usually twice or three times the amount of the legal fare. You notice that the guide seems to be very friendly with the driver and that when you dismiss the cabby he shakes hands with the guide. Indeed, this handshaking continues throughout the entire evening, for no matter where you stop to drink or eat or gaze the proprietors always shake hands with the guide-invariably at the moment you take youB leave.
 It seems quite unnecessary to add that from the moment you enter a re- sort a careful account is kept of your expenditures, and at the moment of your leavetaking a commission vary
  passes from one palm to another. It is usually 50 per cent. in the resorts which appeal to the inner man, as well as at the show places and caba- rets of Montmartre.
 Even should you venture into place where your guide is personally unknown to the management he still obtains his commission, for when you enter his first move is to whisper to the proprietor or manager these four magic words: "Je suis Pinterprete." The commission is added to the price, and rare indeed are the shops or re sorts which do not make 1t worth while" for the man who accompanies you.
 Indeed, some of these self-styled interpreter-guides" have been resi- dents of Paris for such short space that their French vocabulary is prac- tically limited to those four words.
 In the early hours of the morning. after the guide has shaken hands with the last cocher in front of your hotel, you thank your companion for his kindness in helping you to pass an enjoyable evening. You may even take pity on him on account of the dull state of his business and surrep- titiously slip half-louis into his re- ceptive palm. He will not object. He has spent twelve hours. more or less.