davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
Ais countenance, like riehes' VIII change to virtue and to "or'h'hesS'
 Julius Caesar.
Patience and the Parcels Post

Patience and the Farceis o''
 The House was not willing to pass d zone system measure that would De d substantial start toward parcels post. It passed instead a bill proVid- ing for a parcels post on rural iiee delivery lines. The four express com nanies were practically willing pe- causa their revenue would probably be promoted rather than injured py It.
 But a parcels post on rural delivery lines will soon lead to extensions, and the country will secure the package convenience just as did the postal sav- ings banks.
 Let the House measure, therefore, stand as it is. If the Senate accepts it the victory in favor of complete parcels post will not be long delayed The mail order house bogey has been laid and the entire country wants the parcels post. A brief waiting spell after the passage of the House rural delivery plan is all that will stand Tn the way.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
THREE STATES FOR UNDERWOOD

From the Arkanas Gazette.
 Congressman Underwood, the democratic leader in the House. had his inning last week. To the support of his own state of Alabama in the race for the demo- cratic nomination for President he added the votes of Florida and Georgia. On Tuesday Florida voted, Underwood and Woodrow Wilson being the only can didates, and Underwood won by a good majority. On Wednesday Georgia voted and Underwood again defeated Wilson.
 The campaign in Georgia was a warm one. In Atlanta the Constitution went it's length for Underwood with the cry that the time has come for the south to have one of her sons in the White House. while the Journal was just as enthusiastic and jus. as vociferous for Wilson.
 The votes of Florida and Georgia would have been a powerful reinforcement for Wilson. They have lifted Underwood out of the mere favorite son class.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
Impeachment of Judges

Judge Archibald of the commerce court, which deals with the railroads, will probably have to defend himself in impeachment proceedings. He is charged with being interested in the purchase at low price of Culm bank property in the hard coal district from the Erie railroad. Chairman Clayton of the judiciary committee is giving the subject close attention. The House has already ordered an investigation of the charges, and the judiciary com mittee will doubtless soon make re- port on the charges of misconduct brought against Judge Archibald.
 President Taft is among those who have not much confidence in inn peachment proceedings. He says such
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
 COINED HIS OWN WORDS

From the Saturday Evening Post.
 There used to be a war veteran in owen county, Kentucky, who was always running for office and never getting it. He was a candidate by profession, breed ing and instinct He also had the gift of tongues When he needed a word and couldn't find it, he made up one out of his head and went right on. once, in de- livering an impromptu eulogy over a dead resident of his town, he said of him:
 And finally our friend was above all a man of great migosity and general un- derstanding throughout the neighbor- hood!"
 At another time he was making the race for county judge. He and his opponent were holding joint debate. He thought some of the other mans statements rather reflected on him, and up he jumped.
 MT. Green" he demanded, 'are you trying to recronicate upon my feelings?''
 ''Not at all," said the other man, won derng what recronicate meant.
 Then, sir. in that case I extend to you the oliver branch of peace" said the coiner of language
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
Demand for Steel Products

The steel trade is uncommonly ac- tive. In fact this weeks review of the steel situation shows record break ing activity in the way of orders. And there can be no other business barometer than the demand for steel
 Another sign of prosperity is the scarcity of labor. The scarcity of common labor in all iron and steel centers is now becoming acute. Pres idential campaigns are not as a rule conducive to industrial prosperity Many persons can recall presidential election years that spelt depression; but this year promises to witness ex- ceptional prosperity in nearly every direction.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
HIS "GREAT PRINCIPLES"

From the New York World.
 Theodore Roosevelt cannot work with William H. Taft for political progress be- cause he finds that MT. Taft is Unfit for the task" r But MT. Roosevelt could work with Platt.
 He could work with Hanna.
 He could work with Quay.
 He could work with Foraker.
 He could work with Addicks.
 He could work with Cox.
 He could work with Lorimer a long as Lorimer served his purpose
 He could work with Hartman.
 He could work with J. Pierpont Morgan. He could work with the Steel trust.
 He could work with the Harvester trust. He could work with all the privileged elements of extortionate protection.
 He could work with Cannon.
 He could work with Aldrich.
 Even now he can dork with Film and George W. Perkins and with anybody else who will work with him.
 But he cannot work with the President of the United States-because the Presi dent of the United States is a candidate for reelection.
 If William H. Taft had retired from the campaign three months ago in favor of Theodore Roosevelt. does any sane hu- man being doubt that Theodore Roosevelt would sbe on the stump today defending every art of thet Ta fl adninis stra fion and denouncing all of Taft's critics as ehe- mics of progress?
 The certain great principles" that Mr. Roosevelt is fighting for are a third term for Theodore Roosevelt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
TELLING ALL IN ONE BREATH

From the Saturday Evening Post.
 This is gem of English description dug out of an English newspaper by
 Richard V. Oulahan, the chief foreign correspondent of the New York Sun: Just as the sunN rose to flood Eng iland with glorious, life giving light giv- ing cheer to thousands of workers who rose in the cold, gray dawn, James Hack ett-42-a laborer, for the murder of his wife Jane Racket, 43-a barmaid at the
 Rose and Crown. on the twenty-seventh Of last month, under particularly distress ing circumstalces-towit. in which the unfortunate woman was strangled by her drunken husband-paid the extreme pen- alty for his crime, namely-death.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
Southern Expansion

Richard II. Edmonds of Baltimore wno has been travelling extensively through the south and who spent sev- eral days in Birmingham last week, ar rived here Tuesday night on his way home. He left yesterday morning.
 T have been greatly interested in observing the souths commercial and industrial expansion" said MT. Ed monds. The southern situation is bet ter even than I had supposed I have been writing and talking much of late about the need of railroad expansion and find on this trip that the need is much greater than I had said in re- cent interviews"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
Presidential Candidates

"One hears a great deal of specula- ton in republican circles as to which would be the easier candidate to elect Taft or Roosevelt-and in democratic circles the same idea is presented in this form: Which would be the easier for the democrats to beat-Taft or Roosevelt?" said Jackson F. Weimer Of Philadelphia
 Well, it all depends upon the point of view I usually vote the democratic ticket, and will probably do so this year. If the democrats nominate q conservative man like Underwood or Harmon, I believe that either Taft or Roosevelt would be defeated in No vember. It looks to me as if Roosevelt would be the republican standard bearer and In my humble judgment 1t would be easier to beat him than 1t would be to beat Taft. Most of the dem ocrats in Pennsylvania were for Wood row Wilson a few weeks ago, but l believe if our primary were held over again Underwood would win. The Ala bana statesman's strength has been in- creasing rapidly within the past few weeks. I take no active part in politics further than to vote, but l believe that if Underwood heads the democratic ticket he will be the next President"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

nension system in Germany? 15 What is the difference between socialism and an- archism? IS. What was Rembrandts con- tribution to the theory of painting2 IT.. What was the medium used in ancient painting? IS. Who composed the Barbizon school, and the Pre-Raphaelites? 19. What do you know about the history of the theory of medicine, and particularly of the germ theory of disease? 20. Who were Franz Hals, Spinoza, Holman Hunt, Am prose Thomas, zorn, Bossuet, TschailSow- sky, Jehovah, Goya, Bjornson, Strindberg, Savonarola, Durer, Cavour, Winslow Homer, Sir James Young Simpson, Mis- tral, Cellini, Garrick, Abbe Provost, En- gels?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
OXYGEN INToxICATIoN

IL was recently asked if the authorities
 in charge of the Olympian games this year. to be held in Stockholm, would per init the competitors to carry oxygen bags to take whiffs from while they run; it was contended-and this by so eminent scien- tls1 as Sid Edwin Ray Lankester-that
 'as oxygen gas is not a drug, but as natural an article of consumption as water, there seems to be no reason why the runner should be disqualified from refreshing himself with it, as he may with water or soup" Oxygen gas is a drug in the sense that it has value in cases of impaired respiration, such as comas and lobar pneumonia. Otherwise pure oxygen
 is as harmful as any stimulent, for the stimulation is followed by depression. Frequent intoxication by this means must inevitably exhaust the vitality and shorten life. Nor is 1t true that pure oxygen is as natural an article of consumption as water" Oxygen is safe for those in health only in it's mixture as atmospheric air
 with several parts of nitrogen. This is
 the only. suitable form of oxygen inhala- ton for normal individuals-the form to which human and all other life has dur ing the ages become adapted. Meddling with nature is bound to be disastrous in the long run. Athletes have before this benr given "jags' of undiluted oxygen to stimulate them to outdistance their op- ponents. But the Journal of the American Medical association thinks that such oxy gen made records will not for a mo- ment stand in the estimation of true sportsman, because they are not made un- der the conditions with which human life must ordinarily cope. Besides. such sport" must inevitably invite collapse, ruined heart muscle and premature death.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
SON KNEW ABOUT HOBSON Fred c. Kelly in the Cleveland Plain

Representative Hobson of Merrimac. Jap war scare and other fame was riding toward Washington the other day when a stranger, accompanied by small boy, mosed over to him and inquired:
 You're Captain Hobson. aren't your" Yes admitted Hobson.
 We'll said the man, If you have no objections, I'd like to introduce my little boy to you. I thinlc it would help him with his American history to meet a war hero.'
 So Hobson obfigingly acquiesced.
 And now" the fond father asked the boy. jets see if you can remember what it was that Captain Hobson did"
 q know asserted the lad. 'TIes the fellow that blew up the Maine.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
SOMETHING NEW IN FINANoIERING

From The Twice-a-month Popular Maga-
 zine. s .t
 George NJ Bailey, whose editorial para graphs in the Houston Post are known all over the country, believes that the southern negro has a good head for busi- ness and finance. 7
 .'Rastus," said Bailey, in upholding his claim, was an old darky who worked two acres of land on big plantation. and got his foodstuffs from the big com missary which supplied everything to the tenants. Rastus, having poor land az h a share, was continually in debt, .becals. ne could never raise enough cotton to pa4 off his bill at the store. There came a season, however, when cotton grew and flourished on Rastus' acres, and when the storekeeper measured up the cotton he told Rastus:
 "'You've got go coming to you
 Hook hyuh, whiFe mani exclaimed Rastus. Go back dar an look at dem books ag'in. You don owe me no 30
 "The clerk complied and returned with the statement that he had been mistaken, and that Rastus still owed the store s9.
 !" Now you tal5in' sense,' said Rastus contentedly. Come on back hyuh an give me a strip eb bacon
 You see.' explained Bailey. that old fellow knew that as long as he kept in debt to the store they would give him credit, and he was afraid that if he ever got out of debt the store might refuse him credit the next time he asked for It. Hence his pIeasute because of his finan- cial difficulty." W
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 A girl with pretty ankles seems willing to be out in the rain like a duck.
 A woman wants her praise when she deserves it; man wants his anyhow.
 if a girl hears man pay a compliment to nybody else she can never be sure he Is to be trusted
 Some folk can take pride in how much more distinguished their family skeleton is than other peoples.
 A very useful thing about chest of tools Is all the things you could do with them if you could ever learn how.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
"coAT, GETS rARKER.s GOAT

From the New York Sun.
 Washington,-Judge Alton R. Parker appeared in the supreme court today in defence of the Black and Tan" Knights of Pythias of Georgia, the negro lodge. against the Lily White" Knights. The dispute is over the right of the white and negro lodges to use the fraternal insignia and paraphernalia.
 What l want to know said Justice Lurton to Judge Parker from the bench without a smile, lis, do these lodges use tho same goat?" The outburst of merriment which fol- lo,..u ols.uptei the courts dignity and temporarily wrecked Judge Parker's ar gument
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
MEETISG

By Robert Browning.
 The gray sea, and the long black land; And the yellow half moon large and low; And the startled little waves that leap In fiery ringlets from their. sleep, As I gain the cove'with pushing brow. And quench its speed in the slushy sand. Theioa mile of warm. sea scented beach: Three fields to cross, till a farm appears; A tal, at the pane, the quick sharp scratch And blue spurt of a lighted match And voice less loud, through it's joys and
 fears,
 Than the two hearts, beating each to
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
Exnansion of the Wireless

Hereafter at the ports deferred wireless messages will be sent for s cents word, reduction of one-half. All telegraph offices in the United Kingdom and all Western Union of fees in this country will handle Marconi dispatches. The rate for immediate transmission is to be Is cents word as against cable rate of 25 cents word.
 While the distance that the wire less can cover is limited to 5000 miles, there is no limit to it's capacity. It l is plain therefore that cable rates must be cheapened even though $100,- 000,O0 of capital has been invested in the old system. The wireless system is now fully demonstrated and it has come to stay, and there cannot be two prices for like serv- ice.
 The wireless has just begun to en- ter the transatlantic service, and it will soon no doubt create field and business for itself. A great growth in messages other than those of a code or commercial nature is antici- pated, and the indications are that the wireless is about to win a great victory.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

A HAPPY FELLOW. The fisher is A man of mirth And gaily rests On Mother Earth. However torn
 The clothes he wears. His life, at least, Has fewer cares Than ever we
 May hope to miss, Who scarce have time To dream of bliss And still host
 Of troubles meet, Through winters cold And summers heat. Iris not for us
 At peace to lie, Where some fair stream Meanders by And sweetly sing The birds around, And solace for co The soul is found In tranquil scenes, Where Natures smile Doth all our press Of cares beguile.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
The Policemnn,s Cnp

"The new caps tAat are being used by the police department are a great i'm prcvement over the unsightly old hel- mets," said a citizen of Birmingham yes terday When you meet policeman now you feel that you are meeting a human being and not a monstrosity.
 q was certainly in accord with Chief Bodeker when he abolished the billy for to ny mind there was nothing more brutal than one of those clubs. In his efforts to 'Bodekerize' the police force, even though he has but few in number, the chief has my heartiest co-operation.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

The new Roosevelt boss in Pennsylvania is worth $15,0o0,Co0 and abuse is showered on him as freely as it once was on the late lamented Boies Perose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

The other mutlmillonaires are not tum- bling over each other to adopt the course chosen by the late Dr. Pearson.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
RISE OF A RICH INDIAN

car into full speed. Upon reaching home the chauffeur asked for his pay. He said he guessed he would go back to New York
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

The Chicago Coliseum, where the re- publican national convention is to meet, is to be enlarged and so should the near est hospital facilities be.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

The vulgarity of the republican presi- dertial contest is without precedent in this or any other land.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

The dark horse republicans may have their eyes on Justice Hughes, but he will never be President unless he first gets a hair cut.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

young woman survivor of the. Titanic has gone back to England to be married There's courage for you.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
THE SUMMER GIRLS HAT

From the Millinery Trade Review.
 The sale of bananas in retail circles. even at this early date, has been large enough to draw attention to their value It is expected that July and August will see practically every well dressed woman Wearing a panama either draped with i very gay scarf or bound and banded with grosgrain. Fine bananas are also to be used for trimmed millinery and are trimmed with flowers oftener, maybe, than leghorns, which are seen with ostrich this season and faced with velvet. Anent the panama outing hat it may be mentioned that summer felts in colors, as well as in pearls. white and bisque are also very smart.
 Derby shapes are being made up in sum- mer felts, these being sometimes faced with velvet but more often bound and banded as mans hat is, with gros- grain, only women's hats are usually bound with a different color than the first.
 The newest sailor is reminiscent of the shepherdess shape inasmuch as 1t has a decided dip in back and front and ia rather narrow in the brim.
 Flowers are much better than last sea- son. As previously mentioned, coclSades and all high standing effects are good, particularly in combinations. which give unusual coler schemes, such as, for exam pie, roses and nasturtium shades, cerise and blue, green and orange and purples and reds.
 Some of the newest montures combine small fruits and flowers. Miniature crab apples for example. and English violets or cherries and roses or other bloom. Yel- low daisies and American Beauties are curious but very smart combination.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

Attorney General Wickersham also thinks that the alleged spots on Judge Archbald's ermine should be investigated furtl.er.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

A soon as the season of floods is ended the season of forest fires will be in order |. is one season after another.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

The Germans now say bathing multiplies bacteria. It, however. reduces smells, and the one offsets the other.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

Jack Johnson is willing to go to Aus t--lia, but not for S3o.oo0. The ante must b1 iaised to secure him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

The Titanic disaster will fill the statute books, to say nothing about the general literature 1t is creating.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

Robert Browning was born 100 years ago, ard some of his poetry still remains uninterpreted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
IT DOTH.
JUST LIKE TEDDY.

JUST LIKE TEDDY. With many ehuckles, Wall street is tell- ing new story. The narrators aliege. that upon date not certain, Colonel Roosevelt died and went to heaven. HeI was met at the gate by St. Peter, whoseI keys he took. Then he called for a. throne, sent in a messenger call, and an- nounced that he planned a slight reorgan-| ization. ''I don't like the choir very well,9l said he. T think I'll fix it up a little" Those in previous authority agreed that 1t wasn't much of choir, anyhow, and would be all the better for some fixing.
 'Very we'll" said the colonel Send for one thousand sopranos-the best you can get.'' we will do so." said the angel whom he addressed.
 And thousand contraltos, and thou sand tenors-good tenors, mind you. They must be like Caruso" That will be attended to-"
 ''Very we'll" said the colonel, see to it."
 But" objected the choir master, you haven't got any bassos."
 That's all right" said the colonel, way ing his hand. I'll sing bass myself"- New York correspondent of the Cincin- natl Times-Star.
 PREJUDICED. Some things there are we do not like
 Of which we quickly tire; The man upon a motor bike
 We never could admire.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

And the 15,00O women who marched in New York's suffrage parade all fell into line on timel
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
QUITE so.

"Jiblots asked me about my garden. Confound his impertinence I haver1't any garden and never expect to have one"
 Well, don't get huffy. The fact that he gave you credit for being considerably more industrious than you really are is a compliment"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

The Russian minister of agriculture says his country cannot economically grow cotton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

Tie southern postmasters do not relish d compulsory vacation to 1916.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

Mems straw hats are becoming almost as freaky as womens.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

The vice presidency in either party is creating no hubbub or confusion what ever
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

Campaign managers whistle merrily in political graveyards this season.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

President Madero must wonder why he risked his life for his present ungraclous job.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

A GAY WHIRL. There lived girl
 In Kolomo,
 Who never missed
 A picture show.
 "Alack, alas"
 Acknowledged she, This rapid life
 Is killing me"
 POPULAR SUBJECTS. When two men meet upon the street lis puzzling to say whether They'll plunge right into politics Or talk about the weather.
 Birmingham Age-Herald. And you can gamble all you've got No matter who they are, Before they part they'll say a lot About the great T. R.
 Cincinnati Enquirer. Another topic has the call; Each day we hear it more From big and little, short and tall: Say. brother, what's the score?''
 Youngstown Telegram. Another one you always meet, No matter where you go, Dodge up an alley or a street; My lettuce bed will grow
 St. Louis Times
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

A well known actress, 1t is said has to shave twice a day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
AMERICAN NoBLEMAN

Henry Cabot Lodge is sitting tight and saying nothin.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
SLIGHTLY CONTIGUOUS. sDoas ha asSocia+a x,;4,. AL, :.

Docs he associate with the best peo-
 ple?" well, he sometimes rides on the same| trolley car with them"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

Entered at the Birmingham Ala,, postoffice as second class matter uA~e' act of Congress March 3, 1Sfs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09
ALoFTY TITLE

The head of the Hon' Dawg society organized recently in Cabool. is lxnowi as Master of the Kennels" according to the Enterprise.-Kansas City Times.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-05-09

2. E. Morgan and w. G. wharton ane the only authorized traveling replesen tatives of The ge-Herald in us eiieu lation department.