The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1912-12-18

likes Of him DARN to look at the Wld'
der Skinnerv' bowls the old nan as
be dances around.
: "Why, he's got 'leyen children!"
"And he couldn't buy shoes for a
wifep
"Go home and take catnip tear
"And you 60 to grass"
BY and by, when they had calmed
down little, suggested that the wild
ow was the one to decide between
them and they had letter walk along
to her house in company and have it
over with.
"I'll 60, of course" says Jim, ''but
she'd never marry no old crowbait
like him.
"And she'll set the dog on you" re-
piled the old man wilkins as he pulled
off his coat for about the twentieth
time.
They didn't have to take walk. AS
they were still jawing each other the
widow come driving along in her one
horse wagon, and it was agreed that
should state the case for both.
"Widow Skinner" says / as l met
her few rods away, there's two men
as is ready to die for love of YOU"
How beautiful" laughs the wide ".
Each loves you with all his soul,
and if you marry one the other will
look for mud puddA, deep enough to
drown himself"
"It's really romanticr' she laughs
again.
"But what are you going to do about
it? Pears to me you ought to settle
it one way or the other"
$50 I WILL" she says, and she beck
ons 'em both forward and smilingly
told 'em she'd been married to Joe
Wheeler two weeks age and was just
letting out the news. Then she bid
us goodby and drove away to look
over her shoulder and laugh, and after
a long time old man wilkins leans
against the fence and says:
"Waai, by thunder!'
Then Jim Blackburn gets brace
for his wabbling knees and whispers:
"Who'd a-thunk it?'
Case Of the Thompsons.
And | heard later that they stood
there looking at each other without
speaking a word for full hour. |
drove on, thinking Of various things
connected and disconnected with the
postal laws. and had just turned into
the Two Mile read VIXEN I overlook
Ben Thompson's wife and offered her
q lift. I saw that she had been weep
ing. but I asked no questions. and she
presently said:
"Abe, I've left ny old man"
"Shoo?' says /.
Eyes. I've left him at last, and I'm
going to stop with my sister Polly for
a few days"
"What's the matter this timer
. Same thing, Abe: same thing that's
been the matter for twenty long years.
I've stood it and stood it, but my pa
tience is gone at last. don't believe
anv other woman on earth would have
stood it half as long as I have"
"But what burden have you been call
ed upon to bear!" asked, not having
ever heard of any trouble between
them.
Jonah Caused Their Troubles.
"Jonah and the whale, Abe-Jonah
and the whale" she solemnly replies.
1.-THE day we was married Ben asked
me if I believed the whale swallowed
Jonah. l told him l didn't. He said
he did and that l ought to believe with
him. He's kept it up ever since He's
got up in the morning and asked me-
and when he comes in at noon and
night he asks me, and there has bin
DAYS at a time when he wouldn't speak
to me. I'm a determined woman, Abe,
and never would give in that the
whale swallowed Jonah"
"But why not?"
"I dunno, but I jest wouldn't"
"But I'd do it if were YOU"
"Do you believe that Jonah was sWal'
lowed?"
Cant say, but I wouldn't dispute
about it and break up my home. Ia 60
right back and cave in"
1T would never do, Abe,' she says
with a decided shake Of her head.
"But why? If you'd give in he'd say
no more about it"
"That's the trouble, Abe. There
where the whole thing lies. If l gave
up about Jonah, Ben would laugh anu
cackle for about half an hour, and then
he'd come to me with the children OF
Israel crossing the Red sea ana with
Daniel il the lions der, and Ia never
have another minutes peace. ! Ml%Nt
as we'll 90 now oil .jon&h's account as
to wait and go on Daniels. This IS the
house, anI there is my sister, ana
know she'll say I've done right. Geo"