davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
clock Struck Backward.

Chicago.-Because his grandfather $
clock struck backward. Patrick Cal
houn spent several days in q jail cell.
waking at 5 o'clock in the morning ne
heard the clock strike five, and decd
ed he would sleep another hour. Hall
awake at six o'clock he heard the
clock strike four, and turned over TINS
time for two hours Of rest. AT elgh'
o'clock he arose in wrath, as the CLOCK
was striking two. He stormed because
his wife had let him miss nornlhs
mass. She called the police ana Fat
rick was taken to jail.
After the arrest Mrs. Calhoun re
membered she had cleaned the cloci
the day before and upon investigating
noticed she had put the wheel Wh1cl
Regulated the striking in backward.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
SPIRITS FIND MINE

rms. laid the curse on him that he
should catch no bear in his traps lor
500 years. Bodfsh went on setting his
traps, but caught nothing. Ihen ne
went to the Mediator to try TO ~
duce him to life the curse. the Med1-
ator at last relented to the extent OF
taking off 200 Of the 500 years. Bod
fish went home and thought 1t over.
Even 800 years seemed too long a
time to wait, and again he called on
the Mediator, who consented that the
200 years rebate should run forward
from the beginning instead OF back
from the end Of the original sou. Al
the end of the season the customary
array Of bear pelts was hanging on
Bodfsh's fence to dry.
Brown says the spirits told MIN O.
the existence Of very rich mine II
California, TS~es described is Sc
carefully that fAy Mediator felt sure
he would be ab1g to find IT. and ~
notified some Of his earthly friends q
| the coast. The Eelifornians told hin
to come on a9s cate the mine, AM
he did SO, Returning with the new
that he had pointed out the location
Of gold deposit that would maxi
them millionaires. For himself n
had no interest In wealth.
One day the Bodfishes gave Brow
a cat.
sWhen / got that cat home,
Brown said, II took it out In my COO
room and placed a pan of fish on tn
table, and l, said to the cat: 'Bodfis
cat, there is a pan Of fish on tn
| table. I am going out Of the room &c
while and while / am gone do nc
want you to touch those fish. II yo
do, Bodflsh cat, will kill you. NOV
!, remember Well, I went out Of tt
room and returned when said
! would and part Of the fish was gon
Did I kill the cat? Well, / couldn
: break my word"
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
Oddities OF Justice.

That the whole theory Of penal#
codes is practically unsound ana ~ q !.
posed to the modern conceptions Y
the relation of the state to crime, Y
the contention Of Eugene Smith q us
New York bar, writing in tne Mst
number Of Case and Comment " "
lawyers magazine. Illustrating sae " y
surdity and disparity between psns W
for crimes in different states Ms
Smith says: '.The average sensep. y.
for perjury in Florida is ten years 9 I, Z
Maine one year; fer larceny. y ,'s W
ware ten years, IN the District 9 81 y :.
1umbia ten months; the penaity -. ,ol . ',
son IN Pennsylvania Is twice tnas ~ \
burglary, but In Connecticut tae sa \,
Of burglary is twice that OF afsaa ll. y,
guilt Of counterfeiting In ONO Y , .n.ss
that Of perjury, but IN khode ], as J. !,
the guilt OF perjury is twice 'nasIs
counterfeiting. -.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
Farmers Educational
= and Cooperative
TIL Union Of America
| Matters q Especial Moment TO
| the Progressive Agrieulturist

r. Won want men to believe in you,
live up to your word.
The idolatry Of the dollars seems -
be a popular form of worship.
i: Despise not the day of the one-norse
farmer, for it leads to the tWo-norse
team.
It's a pretty safe bet that a man
has lust as many friends as ne ue-
serves.
+ The Russian minister Of agriculture
saws his country cannot economically
grow cotton.
A farmer cannot understand no"
any one who does not get up Till seven
O'Clock can be oyerWorked.
A lot Of people waste time praying
for things they are expected 70 nussle
out and get for themselves.
Three barleycorns make an 1ncn, ~
fbe tables say, and three sW1gs OF Oar
lev i11ice sometimes make RIOT
Il The consumer pays dollar loi
food: the farmer gets less than MY
cents for it. Who gets the rest! :,
! Too many folks who freely aunii'
that there is wealth Ii Tue soi. -
content to take somebody's word io'
1t.
i He mortgagea his farm to set Ms
son up in business in town; the s s.,
sailed and now the sher1n mas 10y
farm. !,
/ some of the ranch hands seem =
think that strong vocal chords ar
good lines with which to Work II
! horses.
/ Blessed is the man who gives nj
4 neighbors the benefit Of his good metz
4 DDS. He becomes public peneiacto
and aids in the worlds progress.
A pessimist is man WHO says far y
ers can't cooperate successfully. = =
is usually much fonder Of lighting WI
his neighbors than Of getting aion
. with them.
II doesn't pay to get "riled up owe
politics. Let every man vote accoF'
ing to his own best Judgment, ana Y
shall have faith that the goVefhlnlei
, at Washington will stand.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
Kipling's New English Home

their own business and keep them
selves to themselves, having no more
interest in distinguished writer's than
in undistinguished readers.
AT Burwash they still tell the story
Of how George ", passing through
the village on one OF his journeys to
Brighton, was greatly chagrined by
the air of utter unconcern envelopine
the place. He asked the reason and
received the explanation direct: ''Ihe5
had rung the bells for him when he
came through the first time and hi
gave them no beer, so they were no
going to ring for him again, no
likely!'
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
Quiet Town of Burwash, to Which
Noted Author Moved From
rockingham.

London,-Although every part OF
Sussex is within easy reach OF Lon
don. there are still many out-of-the-
way villages in it where you may
practically get as far from the Mad
ding crowd as il you were in the mid
die Of desert.
One Of these Is Burwash, where
Rudyard Kipling secluded himself
from the torment Of sightseers who
drove him from rockingham. Rotting-
dean is quaint seaside village, SO
close to Brighton that every visitor
here makes a point of seeing it, and
Kipling used to be looked upon az
valuable asset In the attractions OF the
place.
Every omnibus laden with holiday
trippers used to make point OF draw
| ing up close to his garden wall, while
the conductor acclaimed in loud
voice to the passengers (all cranine
| their necks in the effort to see az
much as possible). "This 'ouse, ladies
and gentlemen, Is the residence OF thk
distinguished h'author, MIR. Rudyart
Kpling."
There came a day when this Oft
repeated sentence was followed b.
another-"And there, ladies and gen
I t1emen, is the distinguished h'autho
,issel. a-takin' tea with his family o.
the lawn!
1 This was the climax. Rudyard XII
ling fed and secluded himself at Bul
wash, where there are no trippers an
where the villagers are Of the stoll
kind prevalent in Sussex, who min
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
Delicate Point.

They are happy seWiekley couple
They haven't been married very long
In fact, the honeymoon has barely
Waned. An elderly friend met inc
bridegroom downtown yesterday AID
slapped him on the back.
well, happy as a lark. I SUPPOSE
"Oh, yes.
'Iow's the cooking r.
I have AEetrcuble there. rs sasl
this, my vii, is been preparing ansel
food every d. Aafor dinner, Z
Oh must Ia getting tired off i Ssgg
II am. " j feel a hesitarcy about
saying anything. How soon aftsrs ne
honeymoon would It be proper g a 8
for beefsteak and onions 3 PlttsbuEs
Post.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
TIDE FROM COUNTRY TO CITY
secret is That Young Men and Won.
en- Are Searching for Lacking
Amusement or Diversion.

To the officers and Members OF the
Farmers Union:
The secret of the constant tide from
the country to the city IS that Tue
Young man and woman-often tne
man and woman of mature years.
lon a search for that amusement or q
version which is too often lacking on
| the farm.
The one way to counterfeit the ten
| dencv-p to find on the
| farm some substitute for the recTea-
lions that lure the man from the coun-
try to the city. Until this is done,
all the preachments in the Worla
about the beauty of country me-
and the duty of the farmer TO Ieeo
line world, will not touch the prop
lem.
In the city, the average country Doy
or girl gets perhaps a dollar or Two q
week more in actual money than ne OF
4 she could earn on the farm. And TINS
/ difference is speedily eaten up ~
1 hoard bills, in frivolous amusements'
and too frequently, in d1ss1paLlols
that unfit the participant either loi
y Toll or future usefulness. You near
a great deal about the boy or girl VINO
goes from the country to the CITY
and makes a huge success. You heai
little or nothing about the 1ncom
parably larger number who go TO tne
city and either go through life semi
failures or absolute wrecks on ths
shores Of competition for which tnes
have not been fitted.
Recently / have been much inter
ested in the study Of the reports 0
vice commissions, issued by the Va
) 1rious cities. In many cases they shoV
! that the poor wages paid girls In &c
? partment and other stores-and man
of these girls come direct from III
. country or from small toWns-are T.
g cruited by the wages OF h1e
9 shame. There is this feature 70
considered by the father or motne
$ who knows that the son or the daugf
I ter il listening to the lure OF the CIV:
r Amusements Of a wholesome natuI
can and should be provided II ID
l. country. do not say that on ever
e farm, or in every rural community,
h is possible to even approximately o.
g plicate the myriad lights, or the the
tiers or the other resorts that go
r make up the life of a metropolis y
l. the monotony Of farm life can pc !
. lieved and the farm routine use
it given a new meaning by little !
aenuity and perseverance. rega'
the introduction of such amusemen
as among the factors indispensable
= the solution of the so-called run
problem about which SO many Peep
~ vigorously preach. Let them tu
their efforts slightly in this d1fectle
The returns will be perceptible.
CHARLES 8. BARRETT.
~ Union City, Ga.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
TOO MANY LABoRERs THERE
No More Needed In Western Part OF
Canada, Says a United States
Consul.

Vancouver, B. C.-While 1t Is true
that with the approach OF spring there
are fewer unemployed In BRUSH "
lunbia than a few months ago, II can
hardly be denied that there are more
than sufficient laborers in this prov
Inoe at present for any demand hReiy
to arise in the course OF the yeai'
David r. WILDER reports from van
couver.
THE immigration OF laborers from
The United States to Canada should De
discouraged until further develop
ments have greatly changed the iapol
situation here. Immigrants from Tue
United States are bound TO pc olsap'
pointed because OF the lower wages
higher cost of living and the great un
certainty OF obtaining employmeh.s
They should In NO case come Wllhou
sufficient means to keep them ~
some time In case they cannot optai,
employment and to take them paci
to the United States II finally unsac
cessful, However, larger numbers nav
been attracted to British ColumDl,
than can possibly obtain Work' q
though the province is developing raj
Idly. Hardly day has passed durln u
this winter when the situation oi IL
! unemployed in Vancouver mas NJ
been brought repeatedly to my attel
ton by destitute Americans seekln
assistance to get home. No less tha
5000 Americans have permanently =
, turned from Vancouver alone SING
} November /.
1t should also be added that fh
/ laws against vagrancy are very s1r1 e
, and rigidly enforced In Vancouver.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
Dead Friends Direct Mediator
to Gold Deposit.
AZ Least Old Trustun n. Brown OF
Maine, Theia. confidant, Declares
They DId-Neighbor Felt
His Power.

Bangor, Me.ATrustum H. Brown,
the Mediator was in Bangor, re-
Gently, on his return from VISIT 70
Boston. and although eighty-six years
of age he tripped down town ike
how and told with enthusiasm all
about new treatise he has just COM
Melted on sThe Truths Of Christ and
the. Errors q, Christianity Not
long ago the diator demonstrated
his reputed sasisrnatural or unusual
powers BIZ locAIng g gold mine IN
California. gettiNg his lnformat lon, he "a
said, from the spirits Of intimate
friends long dead.
For many years Brown has occu-
uied little cabin on mountain
slope, spending his time chiefly IN
fishing, hunting and philosophical
meditation and research, all the while
holding communication with the
SPIRITS of the departed, he says. He
calls himself Mediator between GOO
and man.
| Beyond delivering exhortat1ons
wherever he may find listener, the
Mediator's principal occupations are
trapping for furs and bear bountle'
and preparing and peddhng q medi
cine, compounded from forest roots
banks and herbs, warranted to cur
every human malady. His gala tim
| of the year is when the spiritualist
Of Maine hold their annual camp
meeting at Etna Pond in Penobscot
county. This he always attends, 81
tering into the spirit Of the oceasio
with an enthusiasm that makes tn
lob of SURPRISING him the most di
ficult of the whole proceedings.
The Mediator's only ne1gnDor
Nymphas Bodfsh Becoming offende
at Bodfsh, the Mediator, SO the stoI
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
Profits From the FarErl.

It is reasonably certain that any
business man who runs diversified
farm as carefully as he conducts a
store can clear from $1,000 to $4,000
a year, keep up his place in proper
order and have a delightful country
home, He also will gain considerably
In the appreciation of the land, and he
has always the satisfaction Of know,
ing that his investment is perfectly
safe.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
Easily Answered.

These kids | teach aren't a Bill
SLOW" observed a school teacher yes.
terday. .'In fact, I'm afraid they read
the papers. The other day proposed
the following problem to my arith.
metic class:
GA rich man dies and leaves sl,.
100000. One-ffth is to go to his wife.
one-sixth to his son, one-seyenth 70
his daughter, one-eighth to his broth.
er and the rest to foreign missions
What does each get?
A lawyer said the littlest boy ii
the class. Case and Comment,
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
Be Honest.

The best way to cure the dishonesty
OF the world is to be honest ourselves.
We would rather trust the man who
always puts the good apples on the
bottom, middle and top of the barrel,
and says nothing about it, than all tbs
honest Johns" in the neighborhood.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

Three of Chicago's wealthy batch
slors want to adopt babies. They
explain that they desire to be fathers,
hut do not care to assume the risk OF
taking wives. Perhaps they have
never learned that sweet old song
''What Is Home Without a Mother
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

Somebody might confer a benefit
upon humanity by devising some kind
of a scheme whereby people could
learn how to operate launches before
yenturing on the water.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

Because he had become engaged to
seventeen women in Switzerland a
young man Of that country has been
sent to jail What is known elsewhere
as the summer engagement does not
flourish amid the Alps.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

A French aviator says that in two
centuries we shall be crossing the
ocean In airships. This will make
people with regard for their mum
dane lives willing to wait instead Of
making predictions of trying It next
summer.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

In one Of the Denver high schools
girls are being taught how to be good
wives. The lessons will hardly be eff
fective unless they include the folly
Of nagging.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

Surgeons have succeeded in grating
the cornea OF rabbits eye upon the
eve of a man. 1t will perhaps be only
natural for him to shy off when ne
sees q dog approaching, after this.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

These are the days when the man
who has time on his hands finds it
difficult to make up his mind whether
to go fishing or watch the excayattng
for a new building.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
What She Wants.

Il want you to build me a fashion,
able home"
Have you any special ideas as 10
the style Of house you want?' asked
the architect.
Not exactly. want one Of those
modern places. You know the kind I
mean-one with a living room too bic
to keep warm and a kitchen too smaD
to cook detroit Free Press.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
His Changed Fortune.

Wow! There went smithkina /,
his new six. When l knew him sav
years ago he had junk shop.
He still has. Only he moved Il Is
a fashionable street, kept the sara
stock, and labeled it Antiques.
Judge.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

A Detroit man has secured six cents
damages for being beaten up by a pc
liceman. 1t appears from this distance
10 be a poor way to earn money.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

A Boston man has invented an au-
tomato trombone player. But then
Boston may find relief by treating It
with baked beans and Goldfish balls.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

That perpnd. who smuggled $4,000
glass eyes indtbue this country must have
thought that the long hatpin had COM
mitted dreadful ravages.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

II the inhabitants Of Mars are IL
Reet high, as some people think, no
doubt they find 1t easy to reach the
sirup pitcher at the breakfast table.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

Potted English sparrow is recon-
mended as delicacy for the table
We should prefer stuffed humming
birds.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

Dressed poultry reached its maxi
mum when $25O,0oo was paid for Rem
brandt's "Old Woman Plucking
FOWL"
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

A messenger boy in Wall street was
given 25 cents for restoring 1000
worth of bonds. How different It is
In life outside OF Wall street!
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

A Philadelphia explorer has gone to
Brazil to take moving pictures OF a
boa constructor. Perhaps some OF
Them will be inside views.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
4 WHO.

The lean -4schower Of Pisa continues
TO stand. although the vertical
earnperary al Yenics tumhled down
and nade bs rebuilt.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

When the half-pennies make their
appearance II may become necessary
to get larger toy banks for the chill
dren.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
Grain-Fed lambs.

Lambs that are fed grain from birth
are ready for market from four to sew
en- weeks earlier than lambs not fed
grain till after weaving. This during
12-month period
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

Wireless In midair is the latest" 1st
up-in-the-air communication As
really novelty.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

Macveagh's plan to make money
smaller Is excellent, but 1t would be
more popular idea to make 1t more
frequent. 49,
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

II Is to be hoped the hot air gener-
nted in the campaign will not rehi"iA
permanently in the atmosphere.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

Even the thirst for glory may M.
its direful after effects.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

A Central park elephant oo'ec.s ~
the pairing of his corns VILLA
plane.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

The reichstag has adopted an anu
dueling bill, which Is one way u eAAeAA
longing the kaiser.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

Now an aviator and his bride arr
about to pass their honeymoon Ia 'ns
air. It simply had to come!
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

The Wors, of 1t.
DO you keep cook, Mrs. suburbsss
Madam, I not only keep the cool
but also her entire family" Is
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
Still heplka.

Still hepikg.
Life is series Of disappoiDb
ments.'
Yes. I know a man who has bean
hoping nearly all his life that he would
some day come into possession cf !
coin worth more than its face value
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

A modern physician says nouseheep'
Ing is the best known cure ZOE noA
ousnesss
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

San Francisco'g three mile bridge
will at least be more tanglple WIZ
der than the Golden Gate.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
Destined for Many Trims

DesEIheu TOT Wany Trips.
IT have written short story sais
the amateur literary person. ssWba.
is the first step to take in selling ifsss
BUY ten dollars worth Of stamps
advised the old hand at the businas.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
ships Seven Tons of Bibles.

New York.Seven tons Of Bibles,
consigned to South Africa, none print
ed In English, comprised the record
shipment Of the American Bible So
ciety.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

Louisiana farmers would feel pet'es
about it If they had wanted 'hei' ''"
irrigated. =-~ z,. b.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

1t will take all of that $1,ooo,ooo
gift to break some farmers OF plantins
potatoes In the dark of the moon
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

The only objection to 3-cent piece
Is that some factory Is sure TO iilahe
q cigar bad enough to fit 1t in price.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
What has become of the old fass
toned girl who used to chew awarsa

For years Garfield Tea has been On tha i.
ket. This must mean q remedy worth viii aas'
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

One way to become contenteo VIII
eo,r ioh is to knock off and go nsn'
Ing.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29

THE waters fear that the ne"
rant pleces will be used as tllz''
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-06-29
The Dona|dsonVille Chlol
pI1LIslgUD WEEKLY.

noyAl DsoNylLLE. LOUISIANA