davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
The Joke of It All

Some people have keen sense or humor," said restaurant proprietor "and I think that women are. more eh- dowed than the men. As you kno" my business Is to satisfy the wants or the hungry mob. However, it is quite usual occurrence for ladies to open church bazar and sell dinners to the men.
 Upon one occasion a few ladies came In and asked me if 1 would be wiling to contribute bit for charity, and l readi- Iy answered that 1 would be glad to do sJ. Then they told me that they intehoeo to open a church bazar next to me, anu that they wanted me to contribute few loaves of bread to their dinner, Whlch they would give daily.
 'I suppose the ladies wanted to snow me what good joke they could spring on me, and for the sense of humor l gave them the bread, although it was hard pun to understand"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Undcruood Sentiment in inc west

When I was in Denver last December I heard great deal of talk in favor or Underwood for President, but in other parts of the west Champ Clark or Wll- son seemed to be the favorite," said Ed ward F. Waring of Chicago T don know that Underwood will get any con siderable number of western delegates. It looked to me when I was in Los Angeies in February as though Clark would get large number of delegates in the west This is what 1 noticed especially, that Underwood is no longer an unknown man anywhere. 1 get over the country pretty well and everybody now who has any political sense is figuring on him. 1 would not be surprised at all to see un- derwood nominated on the third or fourtn ballot Of course no one can be, nominate ed on. the first or second ballot. l nave taken very little interest in politics m tue past two years, but l intend to vote tne democratic ticket no matter who Is the candidate, provided only that MT. Bryan is not the standard bearer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
UNDERWOOD IF NOT TAFT

To the Editor of the Courier-J Journal.
 As republican, l desire the nomina- tion and election of President Taft. If he cannot be elected the democrats can, I believe, if they will nominate him, elect Congressman Underwood, notwithstanding his residence. Taft is desired by those republicans whose political sentiments are plain, easily understood, requiring no descriptive adjective, and if they cannot get him they would vote, quite generally in Wisconsin, for democrat, for in- stance, like Congressman Underwood.
 WISCONSIN REPUBLICAN.
 La Crosse, Wis, February 2
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
Tho Hosp,faI for Children

"One of the most needed institutions of the city and county will be the hospital for the treatment of diseases of children, which has been founded by the several Episcopal churches of the district,' said a layman.
 While the institution will not be opened until the first of June all the preparatory arrangements have been made, and the location will be decided upon at the meeting of the promoters and friends of the institution which will be held this afternoon at the parish house of All Saints church.
 This institution is not designed to antagonize any of the splendid hospitals and other societies for the treatment of suffering humanity already established, nor will it be in any wise sectarian, but the aims and purposes of the promoters are to provide a place specially adapted to. the treatment of children, where specialists in chidren's diseases will al- ways be on hand, and to have a corps of trained nurses who are familiar with this class of work. The institution will undoubtedly fill a much wanted need in this community"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
crouched

crouched Watching the infant yet asleep. If yet It slept in that most dreadful company, Since none could see or know; nay all
 were fled For life's sake; only. in 8 peepul tree. Hard by the shrine, a camel man had
 climbed And he was calling, Haste! if ye would
 aid
 The beast is not yet hungered,, and she
 plays, Licking her jowls, curling her tail; she
 lies Eyeing the babe. which doth not move Oh, nastei'
 At any show of arms The beast had leaped upon the prey it watched Across the temple court. There. was one
 hope 1 To come between the tigress and the child Before its mood changed, while 1t sur missed still Some trap, some mischief, in its sleeping This we well knew, and the singing girl, and all; But how to come? heard her say: 'The baby is my baby of the mfn, Who wound it's arms about my neck, and kissed
 My mouth with innocent lips. See! I will go And take my friend forth from the tigers mouth, If God shall please. And if he shall not
 please Why, 'tis singing girl the brute will eat. And not that tender one born to live pure!" So ere hand could stay her, she had
 drawn The sari tight between her knees, and
 walked, sssras4 With those kind eyes fixed hard upon the
 beast, stsaight to the spot-had stopped, had
 gathered close The silent child against that heart which Fearless of fear-had reached the steps
 again, steadfastly eyeing always those fierce
 eyes That glared and sparkled, blazing rage
 and dread: Her face always full-turned to that fell Cushioned upon spread paws, yet stirring not.
 For. sirs, as God is God, the love of it, The greatness of it. and the suddenness, Lay on that snarling, bristling beast of blood, spell ana wonder which 1t could not burst For all the savage paintings of its strength. And sl 6ss gained the porch. the outer Ere, vtf 2 roarAs when the thunder
 asshs A blaek bound eloe mad to be free and Fror shs saet ts of those mastering :. Of liyins is stI iag- assed the porch. one
 clay e5f StriianK he sifi, ssaring her choli down, But cti q skie wound onlyi for the beast Sop et auitt esoape; and safe she came 10 rs, CI3seas fss hane red with her gehtle # hlrcd. A. ss rhe 'e took her infxnt bach. A from s''e 'sar girl.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

per cent of the enrolled republican voters. This calls for a petition in each district signed by about 2O00 re- publicans. The district primaries in
 New York will be held on March 26 and if Taft carries the state the boom of the sage of Oyster Bay, which is in New York state, will be in state of collapse. The press telegram ne- glects to state how the Oyster Bay district is going.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
THE REPORTERS INSTINCT

Richard Harding Davis in the Saturday
 Evening Post.
 Reporters become star reporters because they observe things that other people miss and because they do not let it ap- pear that they have observed them. When the great man who is being interviewed blurts out that which is indiscreet but most important the cub reporter says
 That's most interesting, sir. I'll make a note of that" And so warns the great man into silence. But the Star reporter receives the indisereet utterance as though it bored him; and so the great man does not know he has blundered until he reads of it the next morning under screaming headlines
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

A FREE SUGAR KICK

From the Jackson, Miss, Herald.
 'The secret caucus-the darkroom oper- ations-the blind mans bluff method of legislation" said Representative Brous- sard. twill not answer modern thought on matters affecting the public welfare. fail to see the force of this. If man is doing right thing, he should Invite criticism This is legislation by caucus with every member blindfolded. 1 in- formed MT. Underwood that this system of legislating would not do. I for one will not stand for 1t. The people of the country have a right to know what is going on here''
 Less than ever, probably, will Mir. Broussard "see the force of this,'' since "the blindfold has been removed and free sugar revealed. And yet as the grow CTS have complained for 10 these many
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
Parcels Post in the POstOffice Bill

Chairman Moon of the committee on postoffice and post roads has re- ported the regular postoffice appro- priation bill This bill includes ten tative parcels post plan. Until June 30, 1913, local mail is to be carried on all rural routes, and packages of merchandise up to II pounds in weight are to be included. The post age will be cents for the first pound and 4 cents for each additional pound. An II pound package of butter or eggs sent from the farm to a consumer in town would therefore cost 25 cents.
 Under this plan the merchandise in question would be confined to rural routes, including the terminal postof- flee. Such merchandise could not be put into the general mails of the country. For example, man at Lewisburg could not send a package to Calera, or vice versa. It is an en- tering wedge merely, and as such it will have the support of every friend of the parcels post. The four express companies will continue to hold con ventions and to fight the plan, but public sentiment is plainly in favor of the establishment here of system that is popular and useful in all other progressive countries.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
SUGAR, AND THE EXCISE TAX

From the Washington Star.
 Do Mir Underwood and his friends mean
 it? Or are they merely playing politics?
 Do they desire and expect their sugar
 scredule and so-called excise tax to be
 killed in the Senate, leaving them for
 campaign purposes their bid for the free
 breakfast table vote and the votes of
 those who want the rich more heavily as-
 sessed?
 If they mean it. and promise by 1t legis-
 lation by the democracy on such line
 if the party is ntrusted with full power,
 then a most important step has been
 taken in the way of taxation.
 In the first place, free sugar will great ly impair, if it does not destroy, both
 the cane sugar and the beet sugar indus tries in this country. They have not
 grown greatly even with the aid of pro- lection. Without it they will be certain l to suffer. A dispatch from New Orleans | estimates a loss to the cane sugar inter- ests of Louisiana at $1o, ,00O-probably
 conservative estimate.
 In the second place, if an excise tax
 can be laid and made to stick in this case | it can be applied in other cases and emer- gencies. Why proceed further with the effort to amend the constitution in favor of an income tax? Has not the way been found for whipping the gentleman with horns and the forked tail around the stump? In order to make the breakfast table entirely free, or put other articles
 on the free list, 1t will only be necessary | to increase the excise tax to cover what ever loss of revenue Is to follow The
 battle will be won by the establishment of the excise tax. Raising or lowering the rate can be arranged with no great trouble.
 MT. Broussard of Louisiana protests laugh on him. The Louisiana democracy. with full knowledge of the party's tariff doctrine, helped elect the present House and organize it. The Louisiana members
 with their eyes open, voted for MT. Clark for speaker and Mir. Underwood for chair man of ways and means. Besides, come what may, Louisiana will vote for the nominee of the Baltimore convention who- ever he may be, and whatever the plat form upon which he stands may recite.
 MT. Underwood is taking no risk so far as the electoral vote of Louisiana is con- | cerned.
 | Mr. Underwood continues to manifest courage and consistency in the face of l problems which, as a rule, give aspiring politicians pause. He is an asprant for ! the presidency, and yet voted against an | increase in pensions. He represents dis I trict heavily interested in iron and steel,
 and yet he reported and passed a tariff schedule materially reducing duties on
 those articles and those products. He is 1 a southern man, and yet here he takes a whack at leading southern industry,
 alid in doing So takes long step toward l something very much discussed and | praised in certain quarters, but seldom
 boosted by an act of any kinda tariff ] for revenue only, A tax on sugar car-
 ries large incidental protection.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

| bank housed in an old time cottage and draped with vines as if nature had made an investment in it, the long winding street, the Bristol channel in the distapce these are the happy features of a bit of the older England dear to the Amer ican imagination. In the hunting season dogs and horses and gentlemen in red coats or less conspicuous hunting attire crowd the narrow streets in the early or late hours and for visitors the old town I is often astir with a kind of excite ment to which Americans are strangers. l IL is not one of those ancient villages, set in deep repose, which one would choose for period of silence and rest. The coaches are always coming and going from Whitehead to Linton; the sound of the horn is in the air and tourists go on with the most superb drive in England before them, or return with memories of yellow zorse and purple heather and misty headlands fronting quiet seas.
 It was in the summer of 1797 that Cole ridge was staying in a remote and lone ly farm house in search of health and fell asleep in his chair, with a volume of Purchas "Plgrimage' in his hand open at the description of the building by Khan Kubla of a palace with stately garden spread about it. A profound sleep of three hours descended upon him, during which, he declared later, he composed not less than 200 or 300 lines of verse-"if that
 indeed can be called composition in which all the images rose up before him as things, with parallel production of the correspondent expressions, without any sensation or consciousness of effort. On awakening, the poet had the completed poem clearly in his mind, and, instantly seizing pen and paper, wrote down the lines which fill two pages of moderate size in the various editions of his works. Then came the tragedy; for at the very mo- ment when his pen was moving with the swift impulse of vivid memory the poet was called out 'by person on business from Porlock," who detained him above an hour" and when he returned to his table nothing survived of the marvellous dream save vague and fading vision, and "Kubla Kahn will always remain one of the striking fragments which tease us with suggestion and surmise.
 Every reader of English poetry knows the story, and wonders how much fact and how much fancy contribute to the history of the unfinished poem, and whether "Kubla Kahn" like the monu- ment on Cation Hill, which is one of the striking features of Edinburgh. does not gain it's mysterious fascination largely from it's incompleteness. Coleridge him. self was such an example of incomplete ness that one wonders whether, with the most serious intention, he could have con- pleted "Kubla Kahn" or "Christabel."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
rom the New York Pres.

From the New York Press. It's safer to be sure of yourself than of a hundred other people. Heroes sem able to yell the loudest of all over a stomach ache. Confession, which ought to be tried be fore anything else to get out of a fix, always comes last. The trouble with a mans getting his salary raised is he thinks he has to live
 up to twice that much.
 The world will never give you any credit
 at all till you are success; then it will
 give you a thousand times more than you are entitled to.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

years that the sugar trust was the only beneficiary of the tariff, why so? The secret caucus' couples free sugar with an extension of the excise tax which will amply supply the lost revenue. It is claimed that President Taft will vetS the bill, or any reduction in sugar. It may be that this is true-that the Pres ident will aise the veto under the plea that his tariff commission has not recom- mended the change. If so he will. for one thing, add to the democratic drift toward MT. Underwood as their logical ca ndidate for President,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

THE MAN OF ALL WEATHER. He made the best of what befel1 And never would complain; When clouds hung darkly in the sky, He said, q hope twill rain.' And when the sun shone blazing hot Upon the earth below He simply dreamed about the days When blzzards used to blow. If cold or hot, or wet or dry.
 Whatever came along, He never was too sad to sing A halleluiah song.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
FAVoRITE FICTION

Honest, Lil, I Haven't Told Living Souli" fs 'Patchwell's Sure Cure for Callouses and Bunions.'
 'The Reason I'm Stopping There, Old Boy, Is That All the Good Hotels Were Full"
 When You Have Become Used to Our Nickel First Phones You Will Prefer Them to the Old Kind" Rover Isn't Bothering Me a Bit, Mrs. Dumley: I Like Dogs.' "Muggleton's Genuine Crab Apple Jelly; Only 10 Cents."
 Durable Gas Nantes"
 Chicago Tribune.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
COMPARATIyELY EASY

From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
 The Italian historian, Ferrero. says that when a Roman wanted to get di- vorce from his wife he had only to write her a letter. Easy, but an American has only to get letter from his affinity and leave it in coat pocket.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
SHE WAS FRIGID.

"It must be rather unpleasant eX- perience to bump into an iceberg ob- served the man from Milwaukee, who was lounging in the smoking room of a transatlantic liner.
 'It is,' agreed the man from Denver. You have had that experience. then? ''Yes.'
 Crossing the pond?'
 NO. Crossing Boston Common"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
FIT .ICTED

'Dubbs is man of few words" Well, he can easily keep out oi trouble.''
 "But his case is sadder than that "How so?'
 "What few words he speaks are map propriate."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

Ten tons of storage warehouse eggs are the subject of litigation that has been carried to the supreme court. It is be- leved New Workers will get a chance to eat those eggs in April, 1913.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
THE PERSON FROM PoRLock

From the Outlook.
 The village of Porlock. as many Amer jeans know, is one of the quaintest and most picturesque of Devonshire villages.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

John Hays Hammond is said to he slated as MT. Taft's running mate, knick- erbockers and all while ex-Senator Bey- eridge has the inside track if Roosevelt ia nominated.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

T. R.'s press agent is Roscoe Conkling Mitchell who was last year Doc Cook s press agent. There is no room here for the ribsld jest, for the colonels publicity campaign is in class by itself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

What is going on in Mexico should be laid at Diaze door because he had 30 years to establish public schools and he did not do it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

Attorney General Wickershams color blindness is attracting the attention of the country. He threatens to resign if his negro assistant is bounced.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

All candidates for office, to their credit be it said, have "unimpeachable integ- rity," for they themselves have said it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

The ooldest average February followed the coldest average January, and March now has a chance to set things right
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

St. Louis has been shoveling snow four feet deep, and it considers the achieve ment something to be proud of.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
srARrING WRONG

"Yvonne has announced that she will become magazine contributor"
 Somebody ought to tell her that pink scented manuscripts never get by mag azine editor.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

Seven presidential booms are equipped with national headquarters, and there is still room for more.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

The riot centers are Peking and Lon than in the latter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

The man who longs the most for spring is the man who studies the illustrations in the seed catalogs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

The hot time in the old town of Pe- king is cooling of and things may soon b, normal there.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

It's all right; we will all get back to the soil some day. Let the back-to-the- farm movement go on.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
COLLIE POOL, THE BUILDE.

Collie Pool has just completed d if- scraper show and office building on the Gatin lot adjoining the county jail. The building is one-half story high.
 Murray, Ky, Ledger,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
-----s'----- UNDERWOOD IN NEW ENGLAND

The fee system is being assailed in all states that still harbor it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
oNE. OF THE FREAKS.

It takes all kinds of people to make a
 world. including the man whose break
 fast is niclxle's worth of Coca-Cola.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
THE REASON.

Harrington Fatter says he enjoys play ing to matinee audiences much more than night audiences.''
 T guess it's safer." How is thst?"
 Matinee audiences are composed large ly of women and women can't throw straight"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

The Missouri hen is awaiting the pass ing of the houn' dawg's superior popu- larity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

Nat Goodwin rises up to say that his six wives were not consecutive.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

The vest pocket voter will supplant in November the straw voter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

A TEAR FOR K. POTNIGGI The Howard Courant thinks that 5'r K. Potnigger of Concordia is entitled ta have the rules suspended and his HaEa changed by unanimous consent.
 Kansas City Sta
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

The Ananas Marching club is getting ready to go to Chicago in June.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

The New York legislature is consider ing an anti-treating bill Reform is marching on.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

The Free Breakfast Table becomes an issue as soon as the free sugar bill passes the House
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

The windstorms and the presidential campaigns came together this year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
GRIEVoES LOSS.

Her hair it had the hue of night, Her eyes were like the stars; He held her to his bosom tight
 And broke two good cigars.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

MAUD IN LIMBO. Maud Muller was a suffragette.t One of the window-smashing set. The Judge returned fer fearless gaze. And softly murmured: Ninety days" Said Maud. in tears. "Ah. now I ken The saddest words of tongue or pen. n
 Milwaukee Sentinel. She met, in truth a doleful fate. .'Gt Maud felt she was up to date snd through the grating looking but. She heard her comrades give shout, As if to say, Iris no bad starter. Old girl, you've now become a martyri"
 WE'LL HIDDEN "Pifurs says he has an inborn love of the truth
 Tt must be ingrowihg also. It never shows in his conduct.'' r
 THE SALOME DANGER. | Blessings on you, little girl,
 Barefoot maid in may whirl,
 But is just a string of beads Quite sufficient for your needs? Louisville Courier-JournaL snirest thing, For. can't you see? That's what draws a salaree@ Let her put some raiment on~- Sooth, her job would then be gone.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07

The neurotics have settled in Mexico.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
HARD TO BEAT

Hates royalty? Well, I should say He bet against A flush one day.
 PAUL
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-07
WELL HIDDEN.

As if to say, "'Tis no bad starter. Old girl, you've now become a marty
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1912-03-11
VIGOROUS OLD AGE

Even ddycheekd youth is not beautiful
ehy old aie This however
because weakness and Hlea are
inseparable from maturity OF years.
Yet
the simple, natural treatment ride by