The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1912-08-28

about it you needn't give me any more
pin money for Il month"
"Ill write to the papers about it,"
Eyes, you cam
"And I'll write to a dozen clergymen
and ask them why the devil they spend
their time abusing theaters and motion
picture shows when such scenes as
these are passed over. Aunt JENNY,
but there's two more couples getting
Nboard!"
"But mind"
Outside Sympathy Invited.
An oldish mar occupied a seat in
front Of the Bowsers. Mr.. Bowser felt
that he must say something more to
somebody, and he touched the man on
the shoulder and queried:
"You see it, don't your"
Eyes, sir"
"And this is the twentieth century,"
ut is"
"Have you ever seen a more nause-
ating spectacle"
Thousands of them, sir. I see moth
ing wrong ECre-nothing whatever"
Then you must be a strange sort of
man."
II am not an old crank and a Joy
killer at least"
"If you mean that for me, SIR" flus-
tered Mr.. Bowser, 'let me say that
when we reach the end Of the line I
shall punch your old head!'
"And I'll black your eyesv"
Lets get off and take a car back,''
pleaded Mrs. Bowser, with tears in her
eyes.
Never! When we get to the end of
the line and l have hammered the old
rip in front Of us half to death I'm 60
ing to tell those couples what l think
of them
"1f you do Ill-Ilr'-
you'll assist me. This is a case of
reforming public morals, and you must
do your duty. You can talk to the
girls while I have a few words to say
to the fellows"
A Tragedy Averted.
Mrs. Bowser wished the car would
jump the track; that there would be a
collision with q COW: that the power
would give out. Nothing happened.
however. The end of the line was
reached. and she vas preparing to Of
fer Mr.. Bowser millions and millions
of dollars to let up on his plans when
her heart jumped into her throat. There
were two big policemen On duty there
and swinging their clubs as if they
would gladly s them on somebody's
head. Mr.. Bowser wouldn't chance a
row. He saw the officers, realized
what would happen and said to the old
man. who was gamely standing by:
"Our scrap seems to be off, but it is
only delayed. Next time 1 meet you l
will make you holler for mercy!"
"You can't make nj side of me hol-
Ter, you old b%lowhard." was the reply.
There were four short benches under
the trees. They were at once taken
possession of by the loving couples.
leaving the Bowsers and others to
stand around on one leg or sit on a
dirt bank.
do you suppose I am going to put
up with this?" exclaimed Mr.. Bowser
after viewing the situation.
But they got the benches first" pro-
tested Mrs. Bowser.
Good Advice.
He walked up to the officers and
said, II came out here to cool Off"
"Then don't get het up," answered
one of them.
But l want q place to sit"
"You ought to have brought a nail
keg along"
"Sir, do you know that the commits
sioner is a close friend of miney"
Good friend to have. If you speak
to him about it he may buy some more
benches"
The Bowsers took the same car back.
They were the only passengers.
Not a word passed between them.
When the conductor took up the fare
he remarked to MI. Bowser:
"Not quite SO much l~ollygagging this
trip"
MI. Bowser gave him a stony stare
and made no reply.
The Bowser residence was reached.
It hadn't burned down or been robbed.
When the sitting room had been reach
ed Mr.. Bowser said:
my feelings are too deep for utter
ance tonight, madam, but in the morn
ing-in the morning! The dead line
has been reached at last!"
A Mark Of Confidence.
"I'm her best friend"
"Are you sure Of it?"
absolutely. She trusts me more
than she would her own people,"