davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

81 have noted with interest recent ref
erenees in the papers TO potatoes grown
in Alabama counties" said man who
is an enthusiast on farm development
"There seems to be great rivalry in va
rious counties as to which can produce
the most striking specimen of this vege-
table. think this rivalry is very healthy
1.-The first claim, as | remember, came
from Culman county, then came one
from a south Alabama county; next came
Fayette county. which thought it had the
prize with potato weighing sic pounds;
then came letter from a Selma man
saying he had two potatoes weighing re-
spectively 111a and 9ts pounds, both Of
which came out of the same hill The lat
est addition to this rivalry, however. /
note in the Tuscaloosa Times-Gazette,
which states that there are at the present
time in the window of this newspaper
office potatoes weighing Il pounds and
l1a4 pounds respectively, raised by Capt.
c. C. Kilgore on the hospital farm.
II say, let such wars as this go mer-
rily on. They will do great good"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
SICK OF LOVE
Harper's Magazine.

From Harper's Magazine.
Washington wdnan has in her employ
as butler a darby of a pompous and salts
fled mien. who not lqng ago permitted a
chocolate colored damse long his ardent
admirer, to become his spouse.
One day when the mistress of the house
had occasion temporarily to avail herself
of the Services of the buffers wife. it was
observed that whenever the duties of the
two brought them in conjunction, the
brides eyes would shine with extraordi-
rary devotion.
"Your wife seems wonderfully attached
to you, Thomas casually observed the
mistress of tie house,
"Yes. ma am answered Thomas. CONF
placently. .'Ain.t it jest sickenin'g''
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
carrled pacI. NsO years

II was standing on the corner of Twen-
tietb street and Second avenue when the
splendid corps of Auburn men passed.,
said a Confederate veteran. ''and | had
only TO shut my eyes when they began
to cheer. and / was carried back so years
to the time when the fathers and grand
fathers of these boys sprang to the charge
yelling the Rebel Yell which has be-
come immortal in history.
Indeed there was no difference in the
sound of it now and then-only change
of conditions. These boys and young
men from Auburn have inherited the
spirit and the 'yelf of their ancestors
as surely as they have their names. That
yelP cannot be taught or cultivated. it
must come naturally from lungs, throat
and heart or it will not come at all. A
distinguished federal general once told
me that whenever he heard 1t during the
war he first felt inspired. then somewhat
appalled, for he knew that h was about
to break loose in that neighborhood.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
The Fail of ConstantinopIe

For the man who Is keeping up with
events in Turkey" said a student of his
tory, now is a most appropriate time
for him to re-read Gibbons famous chap
ter on the fall of Constantinople in his
Decline and FAN of the Roman En-
pre- have just gone over this chap
ter carefully, and it is wonderfully inter-
esting in view of the events taking place
around the fortifications of Constantine
pie today.
IF the Christian people had no other
grievance against the Turks than their
conduct on that memorable May 2e, 1i53
think they would be justified in being
imbued with the utmost ferocity in getting
revenge.
Unfortunately. when Mahomet II and
his hordes We're preparing to storm Con-
stantinople in that year. religious differ
ences among the Christians themselves
within the city had torn them into fac
tions so that it was impossible to offer
united defense. The last of the Con-
stantines, John Palaeologus himself was
a hero and he died a hero's death on the
walls of the city. The city was wonder
fully well fortified, and could have been
saved If there had been united action.
The Christians controlled the sea and an
enormous wall extended all along the
land side for over 10 miles. In front OF
this wall was trench 100 feet deep, SO
that tho Turks had to fill up this trench
with their dead and debris before they
could even begin on the walls.
I'm 1853 as in 1c.. he great church of
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

so.rstarv Macveagh's Proposition

Secretary MacNeagh AiVfo
Elsewhere The Age-Herald prints
an interesting article on banking and
currency reform from the pen OF Sec
retary of the Treasury MacVeigh. lie
wants this country to quit storing It's
funds in vaults. He says no other great
government does this. He should be
hardened for overlooking Alabama
which is but state in great gov
eminent. Alabama's custom of keep
ing it's funds in vaults is, however, de-
clared to be medieval, and there is
no help for it. So long as Uncle Sam
continues to do likewise Alabama Will
keep right on being medieval. There
are worse things than that.
q Still Mr.. MacVeagh is right when
he says that government funds should
be deposited in banks as the funds OF
an individual are. This, says Mr.. Mac
Veagh. would divorce the government
from the money market and from the
banking business.
All perhaps very true and very
good, but where are the government
reserves to be deposited? On this
point Mr.. MacVeagh says; 1--WE should
have in this country quasi-public IN
stitution not only to hold the ulti-
mate cash reserves Of the banks and
to regulate the rate of discount, but
to act as the fiscal agent of the gov
crnment. Such an institution would
hold the government balances as de-
pcsits, and the government could
check against them just as any large
business concern checks against its
balances in banks. With the govern
ment balances deposited in such an in
stitution, the business of the country
would never be disturbed by the treas
ury boarding up cash, and the Secre-
tary of the Treasury would no longer
be forced to NEEDLE in the money
market"
This is very nice and comforting
until we try to define the control of
the proposed "quasi-public institu-
ton" and to say where the vast re-
serves of the country are to be kept
If they are to be piled up in New York
to promote speculation in securities.
that would be one thing; if, however
they are to be kept where they arise
as near as may be, that would be an.
other proposition. The trouble with
Mr.. MacVeagh's quasi-pubic institu
ton is that he does not say just what
kind of 'critter" it is to be.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
MOST AFFECTING.

''Once upon a time,'' begins a story in
the Chicago Record Herald. there was a
little red raspberry jampot that lived
upon a shelf in the clearinghouse room
of a school-teacher
1T was the sweetest, dearest. best little
jampot that ever was
When we got SO far in our reading we
could go no further. We Had narrowing,
vision of a bold pickle jar making lip''
to the sweet little jampot and taking ad-
vantage of her in all kinds of vilainous
ways Our feelings overcame us to such
an extent that we were on the point #
shedding tears. The thought was too, 100
much. In order to quiet our nerves and
restore that tranquility of soul which we
desire to maintain at all times. we read
a few diverting chapters from a book in
our library entitled Twenty Years in
Charnel House.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
A SUBSTITUTE.

A little fellow said to his mother The
other day. Mother, why can't 1 have a
nurse to look after me, an lots of pretty
clothes an toys?"
Because we haven't much money!"
But can't we get money!
Tn afraid not, dear, unless you go into
a dark closet and ask the good Lord to
give us some money"
The boy seemed much impressed and
stole away to the pantry, which he
thought was quite dark enough for his
purpose. While he was praying and prob
ably squirming about as most small boys
do, an onion that was suspended from
the ceiling fell to the floor and cut short
his petition.
Picking up the onion, the child vent to
his mother and said, Mother, the good
Lord said he didn't have any money, but
he sent you this onion.'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
NED BRACE TALKS ABOUT MIR. BRYAN
AND TAKES SOME CABINET SUGGESTIONS

As secretary of the treasury. With
Wilson as President. there would be a
practical administration of this gov
ernment; and an administration which
would be certain to perpetuate the dem
oceatic party.
merely throw this out as a sug-
gestion. l am sure it will be as much
surprise to oscar Underwood as to any
other man in America. But it strikes
me as practical. 1t strikes me as q
continuance of the Wilson policy. It
would be practical team work; and
team work is always successful work
when the team pulling the wagon is
possessed of good old horse sense.
y y y
And speaking about team work, l wish
we could get it in the administration
of Birmingham affairs by its three city
commissioners. If the three men we have
in charge of our affairs would get to-
gether every Monday morning in executive
session and fight things out among them
selves and finally get together and act
toward the public as one man we would
get a splendid administration, and would
soon have a real eitv individually there
are not three finer fellows anywhere than
the three city commissioners of Birming-
ham. Each and every one of them has
made a success of his own affairs. Each
one is ambitious: and this ambition may
have caused splits which have occurred
I believe there are thousands of eiti-
zens in Birmingham who would applaud a
get-together spirit on their part; and
no one more so than
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
Aid for Tubercular Patients

tuberculosis is national disease.
Its victims are found in every state,
and Governor Colquitt of Texas says
the overcrowding of Texas, Nevada,
Colorado, Utah and other states of
the southwest with tubercular patients
has. turned an otherwise state matter
into an interstate problem.
Ten states in the southwest are de-
manding in this important matter fed
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
Aee)63oaeQ

Houston Post.
He crawled from meath a trolley car.
His person badly SCARED,
And as he did he sadly said,
1 fear I've been T. Rid"
Birmingham Age-Herald.
Another speeding car whizzed by,
He had it for little bit,
And then he sighed a dreary sigh.
Gee whiz, l almost Wilsoned iti''
-Johnstown Democrat.
lie chased car and missed it-quite;
Another and another'd fit;
He watched the fifth quite out of sight
And sadly sighed, i've Debsed it.
Nashville Banner.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
RErLEcTIoNs OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
Intimacy can break up the strong
est friendships.
Z A man has to know good deal before
he can realize somebody else knows lit
tie, too.
Any many knows every one OF the Zen
Commandments when it's some other fell
low breaking them.
What makes man too old to a
girl for her to be interested in him
is for him 10 be married already.
There's always a photograph OF the
children a woman has to take with
her on visit or it viii be spoiled.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

lating genius. but practical man Of az
fairs who believed in organization and
assignment of the work to be done.
He allied with himself in his work men
like William McAdoo and Josephus Dan
iels and others who were not of the ora
torical, but of the practical These men
worked as a team. and worked well
and brought about success.
IL this same college spirit predominates
in the Wilson administration it will not
only be a success, but it will .perpetuate
the democratic party in power.
The formation of his cabinet is the
most important of the duties of Mr..
Wilson and I do hope that his team
work spirit and practices will be con-
tinued in its formation.
A broad practical man is needed as
secretary of the treasury, and am rather
of the opinion that no mistake would be
made if Oscar Underwood was selected
for this position, and that such pressure
should be brought to bear upon him as
to force him to accept it.
Underwood has outlined a tariff pol
icy in his leadership in the House. AS
secretary of the treasury he would still
be at the helm, so to speak. and would
be in such close contact with the con-
trolling spirits of legislation and the
leader of the House selected TO fill his
present place, that he would practically
exercise the same influence which he
does today. And again he would be in
position where the responsibilities of
administering the law enacted by con-
gress would be upon his shoulders.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
Return From Hunting Trip

Col w. b. Leedy and Senator Joseph
f. Johnston have returned from their
annual duck hunt at "Waponoca" club
near Memphis, where they were guests
o. Capt. w. b. Mallory.
I'VE had fine shoot bagging 1856 ducks
in two days." said Colonel Leedy. Con-
ditions were not so good this season, how
ever. The spring overflow washed up
the moss and ducks were not so plentiful
as usual"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

Pauline wayne's successor is to be
Mona of Avon. registered and highly
aristocratie animal worth 5000. Pauline
was the gift of Senator Stephenson. and
Mona is TO be the gift of William Cal
loway of Waterloo, Ia.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

A ship fun of Italian storage passen-
gers was recently locked in Philadelphia,
and Is brides stepped out and were mar
ried on the pier. The Philadelphia papers
say that most of them were exceptionally
pretty.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
THE AFTERMATH CONTINUED.

THE AFTERMATH CONTINUED.
The aftermath of romance
In tragedy abounds;
The girl he left behind him
Now weighs two hundred pounds.
Birmingham Age-Herald.
The aftermath of romance
Brings teardrops to our lids;
The girl he left behind him
Now has dozen kids.
Springfield Union.
The aftermath of romance
Is, oh, so very sad
The girl he left behind him
Got everything he had.
Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
The aftermath of romance
Makes many mortals sweat;
She's gone but not forgotten
She gets alimony yet.
Capital Record.
The aftermath of romance
1t isn't quite so slow
The wife he left behind him
Now makes his money go.
Chinook, Wash, Observer.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

AT Colon a coallng plant 10 hold 100000
ment. One-half of this coal will be kept
under water because West Virginia coal
retains its qualities better under water
than in open storage. Colonel Goethals
is committed to West Virginia coal either
way,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
The Mere, Home Appeal

"Of all the charities to which we are
called upon to contribute said a MEM
bel of the Chamber of Commerce, none
makes a more poignant appeal to me than
that of the Mercy Home. At this insti-
tuition there are now 100 little tots under
1g years of age who are dependent upon
the generosity of this great open hearted
city.
1.-THE ladies of the home are now maxi
ing an appeal for funds to make Thanks
giving Day an suspicious event with these
children. | think we in Birmingham are
IN duty bound called upon to make the
children realize what Thanksgiving is
and to give them something of sub
stantial nature for which they can be
thankful.
THE Mercy Home has done a wonderful
work in Birmingham in past years, and l
hope the ladies in control of this institute
ton will never make an appeal in vain
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

Democratic National Chairman Nc
Coombs is about to establish offices in
Washington and New York with view
to keeping the democratic party in power
for 20 years, and with a particular eye
to 1916.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

The republican papers are horriled over
the thought that William Jennings Bryan
may stand in the shoes of Daniel Web
ster. Richard olney or John Hay. Tho
shoes would not object.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

Premier Asquith and home rub were
finally sustained in the house of COM
mons by Ill majority. Snap votes never
do party any good. The tories, led by
Bonar Law, are left in queer predica-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

cannot say what idle dreams
My darker moments cheer;
So brightly fair the future CLEANS,
LIES shadows disappear.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

In the newest Baptist version of the
Bible the word "her' has been abolished
and the word UNDERWORLD substituted.
This can hardly be said to change the
situation however.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
A SERInIIs LOSS

Digs tells me he takes nearly all the
leading newspapers said the visitor.
Sc he does" sighed the exchange .di-
tor. HE takes them from me-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

The storage warehouses are to be drawn
upon to make good this years scant tur-
key supply. Some of those warehouses
go back to the civil war.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

The e. II. Hartman estate, which once
stood at s75,OOO,OOO has grown to 1929, 255,-
600 and is still going up. The entire es-
tate went to the widow
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

petition signed by 500 property own
ers asks that streets be cut through the
sloss-shefield Stag pile. The petitioners
must lie partial to subways.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

Mrs. Hetty Green, Is years old. has or
dered her son Eddie to take stock on
January l. She wants to know how
much she is worth.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

I used to know a little girl
Who surely was a queen;
She doesn't know me now because
She owns a limousine.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
THE MAN

He seems to make an ideal witness"
Yes, indeed. He doesn't believe any
thing he says and neither does anybody
else
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
NOTICED YEsTERDAY.

Why does the chicken cross the street.
So radiant and happy?
Because she has date to meet
certain college chappy.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
HER THOUGHT.

HER THOUGHT.
The "only girl he ever loved
Gazed deep into his eyes,
And though he was not then reproved,
She fathomed all his lies.
He swore his love would meier grow cold
Despite misfortunes frowns;
She wondered il this sutton bold
Could buy her hats and gowns.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
CAN'T DO MICH

''Dasker likes to be considered a live
wire. -
so he does. but Desker as a live
wire is effectively insulated by lack of
funds
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
TAKES LONGER.

Mn T4S I4OKS0EN.
where's the boss?''
"Out at lunch
Twill he return soon?''
mo; he fletcherizes."
AN EYE FOR BEAUTY.
He poses fore the public as
A very keen boolS-lover,
But seems to like far more, alas,
The girl upon the cover.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

Elephants are going down, but that
fact does not interest the man who is
compelled to pay Aldrlch- Payne prices
for foodstuffs
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

Two women are to cast electoral votes
for president and the world wags on just
the same.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

than he did in the Winona stage of his
career
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
HAND DRAWED KIND COME HIGH
Advertisement in Miller County (Ga.) Lib
NOTICE.

have just got Smiley Bush 81 thousand
shingles drawed by hand.
Any one wanting shingles drawed by
hand | will get them for three dolars per
thousand. them furnish the timber.
L. r. BEACH.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

Should the vote of California be
finally given to Wilson his vote would
be 446, while Roosevelt's would be
cut down to n. Mr.. Taft's vote would
continue to be 8, cast in Utah and Ver-
mont. No presidential candidate since
the war received fewer votes than Mr.
Taft did, the nearest approach being
the Fl votes cast for George B. Nc
Clellan in 1864.
Mr.. Roosevelt's vote comes from
Washington, Michigan, South Dakota,
Minnesota and Pennsylvania-77 all
told, and California may increase his
total vote to 80. The newly organized
progressive party did not poll as many
votes as John G. Fremont did in 1856
when he was the standard bearer of
the newly organized republican party,
for he got ia electoral votes.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

The extra session of Congress should
not get a puffed-up feeling, for the base
ball season will be opened April 10.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

Hail Nona Vale Pauline. Thus pass
along the vain glories of the world.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

The work of the volunteer cabinet
makers should be tabulated and sent to
Governor Wilson to fill his waste paper
basket.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
Electoral College Figures

Returns from the 4S states have
been determined except those from
California. By conceding CALIFORNIA;
13 votes to Theodore Roosevelt the
vote stands as follows:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

Andrew Carnegie admits that he owes
100000 If that man keeps on pension
ing people he will in very truth die poor.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

The Bible cannot be successfully amend
ed for UNCONVENTIONAL purposes.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24

IIetty Green nibbles a boiled onion
whenever her health is not up to stand
ard. She even nibbles it in public places.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-11-24
soFT-HEARTEp.

I'm afraid don't love Henry any
more" said Mrs. Wiffer to her closest
friend, Mrs. Agnew.
"Oh, don't say that my dear
I'm afraid it's true
Surely you are not thinking of di-
vorce?"
Yes 1 am, but when reflect that there
is probably not another woman in the
world who can make waffles just the
way Henry likes them, 1 haven't the
heart to divorce him.