The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-03

w friends'" asked Mr. Henne'sy
 "Is it lool<in' fir fight ye ar-lc, little man?" said Mr. Dooley, backing away, Or, how much dye want"
 "What ar-re ye talkin' about?" Mr. Hennessy demanded. {" niver felt so kindly disposed to fe in me life"
 Thank ye fr that" said Mir. Dooley But khn man gifts sntimntal over his fri'n'ship f'r he I always expict ayther touch or punch There's no plazin' man in that condition. Tn kbest thing to do is to sidestep him an wait till &hes himsilf again. Whin he gets to tn pint iv Vhinl<in that his fri'n'ship is goolden threasure that he's poorin' on ye he's got to tn pint where he thinks that your own kindly feelin's tords him is short change ill punched countherfeit money. wait till his fri'n'ship has cooled down below tn b'ilin' pint befure resoomin' frindy relations with him. I'd rather be licked be an Ainimy thin banned be frind amy time. Takn 1t by an large, ain't sure that I don't get more injyement out v me nniies thin out v me frinds, anyhow They're constant and relible, an' they ain't dangerous because they don't know where to hit ye If you're wise warryor ye keep thim at distance. But friend knows all about ye He's been inside in your enthrench- ments, dye mind. So I'm afraid iv an angry Frind more thin 1 am iv an angry inimy. There's Darsy, now. He's my inimy an I'm his. If Fe look clost at his sign yell see undher Plumber ln' Gasftter tn wurruds, An perpetchool Ininy iv Martin Dooley' There's a man 1 like because he's faithful I can count on him. I hon't have to lay awake nights wondherin' if I've blinded him. I know I have, simply be Twin Whin I've said my prayers I can fall upon tn hclsin' v me bed an think iv tn things I'm goin' to do to Darsy wan iv these days an thin sink into dhreamless sleep Some day we'll meet an whin we're both in tn hospital ? In adjnin' cots I'll poke out me pale hand an grab his an say Darsy, me boy, ye've been me thred an faithful ininy f'r forty years. There's been no call iv nlnity that I cud make to ye in all that time that ye wuddent respond to- We've anticipated me vry wish. Without ye, life wud be blank. If ye shud die frim tn < injuries I have inflicted on ye I wud be left yalone in tn wurruld among me frinds. If yell fget well I promise to tache ye tn thrip that brought ye where ye ar-re
 How long have we been frinds, says ye? Faith, niver thought. I'll add it up sometime an subtract tn number iv times we've been nmes f'r frim wan minyit to eight hours, which Is me limit ivs mnity tords me frnds, an tell ye h result"
 What ails ye tonight, annyhow'" asked Mir. Hennessy Whats gone wrong with ye?"
 ' was thinkin'," said Mr. Dooley, [" iv tn bustin' iv wan iv tn historic frindships iv tn wurruld. Thim fellows Hogan is always talkin' about whin his frir iship fir me is at tn pint iv explodin' an wreckn me store, what's their names ?-Damon an Pithius-were niver more tlose thin Tiddy Rosenfet, who shall be known hereafther in this lease as Tiddy, an Willum Haitch Taft who shall be known as Willum. They were that near togither ye cuddent siparate lthm with saw. Ivry mornin' Willum found Sn his desk bunch iv violets with a card marked Tiddy.' Ivry mornin' Tiddy found on his desk ! sprig iv forget-me-nots marked Wilum.' On