davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05
Humorous department.
A Domestic DiffIc ulty,

The woman with livid eye and the
man with a lurid nose were before the
court for settlement Of their diff
culties. The policeman had brought
them there. She was the landlady and
he was the star boarder.
"Um-er," unused the judge, as he
looked them over, what's the trou-
ble?"
We'll, you see, your honor both
began at once.
Stop" said the judge. This Is a
court room, not your own house, and
you both can't talk at once here. You
to the man-"keep still and let the
lady have precedence. Now, madam
what is it?"
We'll, your honor, there was
green wagon
TT was a red wagon, your honor
the man interrupted.
You keep STILL" commanded the
Judge, "or I'll have you shut up for
disorderly conduct. Do you under
stand? Now, go ahead, madam, with
your story"
Thank you, your honor; as I was
saying, there was a green wagon go
ing by and / asked him whose was the
green wagon, and he looks out and
saws II was a red wagon. He'd been
drinking till he'd got red-eyed, your
honor, and I said it was a green wag-
on and it was, your honor, and he said
II was red and I said 1t was green, and
he got ugly, and to keep peace In the
family says to him I'd agree with
him that 1t was a red wagon, your
honor"
THAT ought to have settled It," said
the Judge. =.
Sure, your honor, but when I said
1t was red just to please him he said
he was just as anxious to please me,
and he says he would agree with me
that 1t was green, and says no, /
wouldn't have him doing nothing like
that for me, and If he said 1t was red,
red II was, but he said no, If I said 1t
was green green it was, and I said
red and he said green till by and by he
lost his temper and hit me one in the
eye, your honor"
The man looked for sign from the
Judge to speak, and got 1t.
II didn't hit her. judge" he explain
ed; "she cracked me on the crazybone
and my hand just flew up and tapped
her on the mug. That's all your honor,
there was to 1t, and mighty little, I'm
thinking, to be making such row
over a red wagon"
1T was a green wagon, your honor"
the woman snapped in.
Shut up!" ordered the judge, for
getting his previous politeness. I'll
fine you IS and he can pay your fine'
and I'll fine him S. and you can pay
his fine. That will square matters be-
tween you, 1 guess, and you needn't
bother any more about the color of the
wagon."-New York Sun.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05

Circumstances Alter Cases.-His
name was Frederick. His hair was red
and wanted cutting. His coat and YES,
would have shamed their maker, and
the less said about his boots and trou-
sers the better. His Sunday collar was
in the wash. its substitute a sorry rag
BY profession he was a tramp. and
he called at a farm house, ostensibly
in search of meat and drink.
The woman who opened the dool
was sweet and comely, and Frederick
thought he had conquered at last.
Madam" said he, brushing the
snuff from his coat, You'd best give
me a drink of milk
"Yes?" she queried.
Or, else He was interrupted
again.
Farmer John, big and burly, came
forward just at that moment, hickory
stick in hand, dog at heel.
"Or else water" continued Freder.
ick, IF you please. sir"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05

That Was "Willie."-The late Bishop
William n. McVickar of Rhode Island,
harbored a large soul in a body 10
match. He was a bachelor, whose
sister kept house for him.
On one occasion he telephoned to
his tailor that he wished to have a
pair Of trousers pressed, and the tailor
sent a boy To his residence to get
them.
The bishops sister admitted the
messenger and called upstairs: Will
lie, the boy has come for your trou-
sers,"
When her brother appeared the
youths astonished gaze traversed the
prelate's impressive "cOrporosity," then
he murmured:
Gee. Is that Willie?'-The Youths
Companion.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05
TIME UP

9 UBSCRIBERS to The Enquirer on
- my club will please take note of
the fact that Pay Time Is here. Be-
cause Of so much bad weather I have
been unable to see them all, and those
who have not already done so will
please settle with me or at The En-
Quirer office z. L. FORD.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05

A. d. Dorsett, Charlotte ST., York.
VILE, S. c., says: For fifteen years !
suffered from weak back and kidneys
There were pains in my loins and the
secretions from my kidneys did not
pass regularly. Some time ago l got
a supply Of Doan's Kidney Pills from
the York Drug Store and they gave me
prompt relief. I consider this remedy
an excellent one for all kidney dis
orders"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05
UNCEASLNG MISERY
YorkviIle Kidney Sufferers Got Little
Rest or Comfort.

There is little sleep, little rest, little
peace for the sufferer from kidney
trouble. Life Is one continual round
of pain. You can't rest at night with
a bad back, with twinges and "stabs"
of pain, with annoying urinary dis
orders, backaches, lameness and nerv-
business. You can't be comfortable at
work with darting pains and binding
dizzy spells. Neglect these ailments
and serious troubles follow. Begin
using Doan's Kidney Pills at the first
sign of disorder. You will work better
as the kidneys get better, rest better
as your back grows stronger.
Proof in Yorkville testimony:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05
FOR SALE

n ENUINE Norton Yam Sweet Po-
" tato Seed, 75 cents per bushel I. o.
b. cars. Extra Select Seed, grown es-
pecially for US, $1.00 per bushel. Have
only limited supply of last named.
Terms, Cash with order. STRICK-
LAND BROS. Blackshear, Ga. 10f4t
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05

A Blunderer.-"What you need
madam, Is oxygen. Come every after
noon for your inhalations. They will
cost you 81 EACH"
81 knew that other doctor didn't un-
derstand my case" declared the fash /.
ionable patient. He told me all |
needed was plain fresh air."-Wash-
ington Herald.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05

For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents. Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-Doan's-and
itake no other.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05
ANCONA EGGS

DEST utility stock-kept pure-1t
ID Eggs for $500. Address me q,
Hickory Grove.
1s TT ct
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05
J. M S T r O u P
- MOTTO:- QUALITY AND RIGHT PRICES ~a
FOR RENT.

~ NE-Horse FARM, good land, two
~ miles from Court House.
w. /. WITHERSPOON.
IL T. I It"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05
TIME TO PAY.

A LII Subscribers on my Club who
"A have not already paid, will please
settle at once with me or at The En-
quirer Office. ADDIE CAVENY.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05
BRATTON FARM.
Phone No. 1872.
FOR SALE

ID HODE Island Red Eggs, $3.50 fol
IL Is. Birds bred from same per
that won first and second prizes at Co.
Iumbia Fair, 1911. w. ]. FEWELL,
No. 7, Yorkville. Is 3ts
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05

DW New type, good stock and know.
ina how, is what makes The Enqui.
reTs job printing satisfy it's users.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-03-05
RHODE ISLAND RED EGGS

dor early Matching, from heavy
l. winter layers; 81, S1.75 and $2.26
per is. Mrs. A. M. GRIST, Yorkville
IL st
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
NEGLECTED NEGRO
AROUSES COMPASSION

One of the most pitiful cases which
has come to the notice of a Richmond
physician lately is that of Columbus
Jones, colored, now lying in a cold
room in his home at TAI North Four
teenth street. Jones has been en-
ployed by one of the local coal mer-
chants and has been renting rooms to
several negroes. No one is in the
house during the day and he is regard
ed fit subject for charity. He is be-
lieved to have tuberculosis and may
be sent to the state institution by the
Auti-Tuberculosis society of Wayne
county.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
S IMPRACT|CABLE
Post Office Clerks Believe
Penrose's Bill Untimely.

Clerks in the local post office do not
think the bill introduced yesterday in
the senate by Senator Penrose, which
lowers the rate of postage on first
class mail from two to one cent for
city delivery is practical at this time
In speaking Of the bill introduced
by Penrose, one clerk said: "Postmas-
ter General Hitchcock has been work
ing gradually toward this end ever
since he has been a member of the
presidents cabinet. He is the most
competent man we have ever had in
the postmaster generals office and is
known throughout the country as an
organizer of rare ability. It was
through his ability that for the last
two years the post office department
OF this country has been self support
ing. He would In time have regulated
the postal system SO that one cent
postage would be practical, but the de-
partment Is not ready for the step at
this time"
The measure introduced would ex-
tend the one cent rate now applying in
towns that have no carrier delivery
to all cities, restoring the general
drop letter" system.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
MORE DEATHS FROM
GAINESVILLE WRECK
Three New Victims Expire
Today, Bringing the To-
tai Up to Eleven.
National News Association

GAINESVILLE, Ohio, Dec. 4.-Three
more victims died today as a result
of last nights wreck on the Pennsyl-
vania lines ten miles east of here, near
Dresden, Ohio. The list of dead now
reaches eleven.
The dead and injured were brought
here.
The coroner impanelel a jury and
left for the scene just as the MANNED
were brought in.
A passenger engine, westbound. on
the GAINESVILLE division, ployed into
the rear coach of a train bound for
GAINESVILLE from the Cleveland divis-
ion The engine and car We're tele-
scoped. The entire length of the car
was piled on top of the engine and ex-
tended from the pilot to the tender.
Without a moments warning the
crash came. Passengers were hurled
from their seats and every avenue of
escape cut off. They were literally
cooked to death by escaping steam
from the engine beneath them.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
ORDINARY STAMPS
WILL Be USELESS
Cannot Be Affixed to Pack,
ages Sent Under the New
Parcels Post System.

Clerks in the local post office are
guration of the parcel post system.
The maps showing the zone districts
have not been received here as yet,
although the tariff sheet for the dis
tricts is here.
Patrons OF the post Office are asked
to bear in mind that after January l,
when the new parcel post law is eff,
fective. ordinary postage stamps can
not be used on fourth class matter
which includes merchandise. If ordt.
nary stamps are used, the postal au,
thorities will treat the package as il
it had no postage affixed.
Special parcel post stamps must be
attached to packages containing mer
chandise The name and address OF
the sender must also be written on
the package If this is omitted the pos
tai authorities will not forward the
package.
These provisions do not obtain OF
merchandise sent as fourth class mat
ter prior to January 1. Persons may
send packages of fourth class matter
during the Christmas season as they
have done heretofore, and ordinary
postage will be accepted by the posta
authorities.
The local post office has not oompil
ed the returns from merchants regard
ing the extent to which the parcel pos
system will be used. The department
is trying to ascertain the probable
use of the innovation.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
PEtVEO THE MAYOR
Witnesses in Ray Case Did
Not Come to Trial.

The trial OF Robert Ray charged
with malicious destruction OF property
was again postponed this morning I'M
til next Wednesday. The second post
ponement was made because of the alb
sence of prosecuting witnesses. Ray
has been living with his wife at the
home Of Josiah Brumley. q North
Sixth street, and was arrested on the
complaint that Ray, in an intoxicated
condition, came home last week and
upset a table containing dishes whose
value was 50.
Mayor Zimmerman was very indig-
nant because of the absence of the
witnesses and sent a patrolman to
their home to summon them. He ac-
cused them of trying to get out of the
charges they had preferred, and threat
ened them with a Jail sentence if they
did not appear at the next date of the
trial. They were not fined for con-
tempt of court.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
RECEIPTS INCREASE
Lump Sum of S., $50 Added to
City's Tax Receipts.

According to the township asses
sor's report the value of the city's tax
able property has increased s550,o0O,
which will enhance the taxes of the
city approximately $3.50, at rate of
$1.10 per thousand. These figures were
made by City Controller McMahan to-
day The total tax receipts last year
amounted to $179,919.95.
The expenses of the last year were
heavier than they will be next year,
according to McMahan, who said that
it will be necessary to borrow money
because of the payment of $4,000 in
bonds. IF the money is not borrowed
all appropriations from various funds
will have to be reduced" said McMa-
han.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
RICHMOND PEOPLE
GOOD DRESSERS

Veryfew cities in the United Statee
can show as many we11-dressed people
as Richmond, a large per cent of them
having their clothes made to order
Men can get fine suits made from SIS
to $25. when the same goods a few
years ago cost almost twice as much.
For years Emmons Tailoring Co. have
been making fine suits from $500 up
and the business has increased every
year. They are now showing the larg-
est stock they have ever shown. Over
500 styles In Fall Suitings and are
Leaders In cornect tailoring for good
dresseGS." Corner Ninth and Main
streets.
Mr.. Louis NJ. Emmons, president of
the company, keeps posted on the sea-
SONS modes and styles and customers
know that suits and overcoats made
by ne Emmons Tailoring company are
correct In every detail.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
COLO WAS USED
TO BALLAST ROAD
More Than $500, 900 Used on
Right of Way of One
Western Railroad.
National News Assocfauon)

CHICAGO, ILL.,, Dec. 4.-More than
100000 of gold this year has been
strewn on golden pathway from
Chicago to the Golden Gate with full
knowledge and consent of the railroad
A discovery made by a tramp prospec-
tor who was stealing ride in an
empty gravel car disclosed the fact
that the Union Pacific's tracks west Of
Omaha for twenty years have been
ballasted with gravel that had "va[
ues" of nearly g. to the ton which in
two decades have reached the total
of $S,000000 according to the esti-
mates submitted ito Gerrit Mort, pas
senger traffic manager Gold to that
amount has been tamped between the
ties of the carefully ballasted roadbed
because no one "panned" the gravel
from from Sherman hill, Wyoming,
until the prospector beating his way
did so merely to kill time" In a gray
81 car in the way a prospector loves.
He was astounded to discover traces
of color in his pan and when he left
the car, fastened on his way by the
toe of an irate brakeman's boot, he
carried with him more samples of the
rock. His discoveries were told to the
of1cials Of the road and in time reach
ed Mr.. Fort. Eve have been using
Sherman hill gravel for nearly TWEEN
ty years." said Mr.. Fort, land when /
heard there was gold in it | laughed.
Then Just for fun had some assayed
and discovered that there really is
gold in Sherman hill. The report gave
us returns of a little more than 81 a
ton.
The gravel comes from Wyoming,
where there is an immense bed run
ming for miles along our right of way
We have been hauling this out at the
rate OF 10000 cars year for two dec
AIDES and l guess in that time our sec
ton men have tamped down several
millions of dollars in gold. We be-
lieve, however, that it is worth more
as gravel than as ore, and in spite of
the fact that there are millions in it
we intend to let that golden pathway
stay right where it is. It's worth
more to us as highway than as a
placer mine.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
CIVIC UNION WANTS
LAWS ENFORCED

Lack of law enforcement in Rich
mond will be the first matter rene
died by the Richmond Civic union, &C
cording to an announcement made by
the organizers today. The social evil
and gambling will be the evils which
the association will aim to better. No
officers were elected and the COM
mittee decided to adopt the constitu-
ton suggested by the state organiza-
ton. The next meeting will be held
Sunday afternoon in the Commercial
club rooms
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
AT THE DOOR
Coliseum Ready for Charity
Ball This Evening.

The managers of the charity ball
wish to state, in reply 10 many inquir-
les, that tickets may be procured at
the box office of the Coliseum this
evening and that dancing will begin at
half past eight o'clock. There will be
attendants in the women's dressing
room and mems check room and the
members of the various committees
will assist in serving the lunch which
can be procured throughout the even
ing. Over eight hundred tickets have
been sold, the proceeds to go to the As.
sociated Charities.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
Get the first pick. Jenk-
ms & Co. Open each evening.
FOR OPEN SUNDAY
Managers of Theaters Circu-
lating a Petition.

Managers of local playhouses are
circulating petition asking the state
legislature to change the law to en-
able the theaters and moving picture
houses to be open on Sundays.
1t is argued that the opening of
theaters will in nowise interfere with
proper observance of the Sabbath
and that it cannot be construed as a
measure giving offense to persons who
believe in a quiet Sunday.
The petition has been circulated
among citizens generally, and it is ex-
pected that the sentiment of the COM
munity on the problem will be pretty
fairly ascertained.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
WANTS A DECREE

In a complaint filed today in which
allegations of adultery are made, LII
ella Yost asks a divorce from Lewis
Yost. The plaintiff also asks the Gus
tody of their two youngest children,
Ruby and Elizabeth and 500 for the
support OF the children during the
tendency of the action. They We're
married in 1891. They have six chill
dren.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
BASKETBALL SERIES
OF SUNDAY SCHOOLS
Sunday Schools Are Asked to
Have Teams in the New
City League.

The executive committee of the Sun
day School Athletic association has ar
ranged for Sunday school basketball
tournament to be played December 26,
27, %, and January 1. Any Sunday
school In the city may enter a team.
The following are the rules Of entry
and eligibility:
Teams must be composed Of boys I'M
der II years of age.
Each team must have written
statement from the superintendent OF
the school, naming the players and
certifying that they are members of
the school and are under II years Of
age.
All entries must be left at the Y. NJ.
G. A. office by December 81.
We hope your school will enter a
team and get in on the fun the boys
will have.
Very truly yours,
N. C. Heironimus,
Roy J. Horton,
Judge Boggs,
Ed. Cox,
Paul Benfeldt.
disorderod stomach3 Go to your drugHis'
/ get a Soc or 81 bottle of DR.. Caldwell 2
up Pepsin. which Is positively GUARANTEED to
anc. keep sou well
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
TOO MUCH PROFANITY
AT THIS DANCE

Willis Ray, colored, was fined SIS
and costs in police court this morning
by Mayor Zimmerman for profanity.
Ray entered plea of not guilty. He
was attending a dance in Bob DeVin-
ney's dance hall Monday night and
was heard cursing some of his asso-
ciates. Patrolman Mehke introduced
the evidence which resulted in i'm
posing a fine. Menke quoted DeVin-
ney as saying that Ray always started
a fight whenever he came to one Of
the dances.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
An Autograph Request.

Ambassadors receive many queer re-
quests in the course OF their official du-
ties. Here Is one that was sent to Mr..
white by a western woman. who In
closed pieces Of linen, when he was
minister 10 Germany many years age:
I'VE are going to give a fair in our
church, and am making an autograph
quilt. I want you to get me the auto
graphs of the emperor and empress,
the crown prince and Bismarck. and
tell them to be very careful not to
write too near the edge Of the squares
as a seam has to be allowed for put
ting them together"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
REV, REESE F, ALSOP
Will Conduct Services at
Episcopal Church.

Rev. Reese F. Alsop, D. D., will con-
duct the services both morning and
evening, in st. Pauls Episcopal church
the coming Sunday. through arrange
cese.
The Board of Missions of the Epis-
copal church meets next week in In.
dianapolis and Bishop Francis has as
signed leading clergymen to the va
rious churches throughout the state
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
TO POST RULES

Copies of the rules and regulations
pertaining to sanitary matters have
been issued by Health Officer DR.. 7.
H. Davis and will be sent to all the
ards will be posted in prominent
places and any violation of the rules
may be reported to the health officer
by customers of the markets.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
Mar Eui6IIp,apt

Jones told me today that the ball
on the top of that tall tower building
was blown down by the strong gale
and came very near striking him
down."
I've told Jones often that highballs
would sooner or later be the death of
him."-Balimore American.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
FOULKE LECTURES ,
ON ART GALLERIES

William Dudley Foulke spoke to the
studahts of the high school in chapel
assembly this morning on European
art galleries. Later he spoke to the
art students of the high school and
members of the Art association who
were present in the public art gallery
on several of the pictures exhibited
there.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04
9rutus and Caesar.

''Brut'ss." said Caesar as he drew
himself up majesicany, this is ex-
ceedingly rude of you"
Rude? How" demanded Brutus.
why" answered Caesar just before
he fell. ito cut an old friend. "-BaltI-
more American.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-12-04

Make your selections early.
Open each evening. Jenkins
& Co.