davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-12-19
GERMANS RALLY
PREPARE FOR BATTLE OF
WIT AND HUMOR IN SPOKANE
Engagements-AnsN TO Satire on
German-Trained Turkish Troops
All Try Their Talents In Verse
Clever Lines Produced.

Spokane, Wash, Dec 19.-(SpeciaD
With poetry and prose the Germans
are rallying in a battle of wit and
humor in answer to a satire on the
German-trained Turkish troops writ
of the United States army, who is
stationed at Fort George Wright, in
Spokane
Captain Steunenberg, hailed as the
poet laureate of the army, recently
had the Kiplingesque verses published
in the Army and Navy Journal, call
ing forth a note, with the Steunen-
berg name on the envelope, from Gem
eral Leonard Wood.
The first to enter the lists in op-
position to the captain is Arthur Won
pulaski of Spokane, formerly a Ger
man officer and at one time colonel
in the service of the sultan. After
declaring that the Turkish army is no
longer disciplined by German meth
DDS, Won Pulaski designates the Steun-
enberg verses as the "penny-ante
sort" He suggests that the captains
literary talents might profitably be
march song for the army.
Meanwhile, Steunenberg being an
army officer. has said nothing, but the
world is having a good laugh over his
swinging verses.
And now Stanley Mayall, a promi-
nent Spokane manufacturer, leaps
lightly into the saddle of Pegasus with
the following:
'Oh! bark you Onkle Samuel; Won
far across der see,
SIier kommt Elm voice in answer. Just
hear einmal to me.
Vielleicht we jetst can fight no more;
und zu felt are to run,
But we can do some odder dings be-
sides use sword or gun.
F'Und der is more ais Frenchmen,
wots got a lot of gaul,
In fact when first such stuff kamaus,
der Yankee got most all;
Und strassburg pies and Munich bier
und candied fruit from Metz,
They amt no fitting fighting food
which Kaiser Will forgets.
We got a scent called eau de Koln,
und auch de Limburg cheese,
Und from our Holstein cattle, we cut
Hamburg steaks nit ease;
We have some 'Maus Towers auf der
Rhine, und rats-kellers to show
Und sauer kraut and lieb fraumilch,
und udder dings also.
esTT
take mein Dachshund dog,
Und drop him in der wurst machine
und grind him op in-cog;
Und feed him to the Yankee bard
what says we can not fight,
Und give him such a nightmare his
life's cur-tailed nit fright"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-12-19
WILL SELL OLD LINER
PANAMA AT AUCTION

San Francisco. Dec. 19.-The Pa
cific Mail Steamship company has
called for bids on the old steamer
City of Panama, which was retired
from service recently upon COM
plants that it was unseaworthy. Bids
will be opened Friday One OF the
conditions imposed upon the buyer
will be that the vessel cannot be used
as a steamer.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-12-19

San Francisco, Dec. ls,-The case
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-12-19

You will find that druggists every
where speak we'll of Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy. They know from long
experience in the sale of It that in
cases of coughs and colds 1t can al
ways be depended upon, and that It
is pleasant and safe to take. For sale
by all dealers.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-12-19
MAII.CARRIER STRUCK
BY TRAIN II NAPAVINE

Chehalis. Wash. Dec. 1o.--Sunday
night William Mullins of Chehalis,
r. F. D. carrier No. 2, was struck by
train at Napavine and severely in
jured. DR.. II. L. Petit, who attended
Mr.. Mullins, stated that the injured
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-12-19
man had seven ribs broken and ia in.

man had seven ribs broken and Is In
Jured internally. His advanced age,
81 years, makes the accident more se-
rious. The manner in which the aged
man was hurt Is the same old story
Of the double track. He crossed the
rails In the rear of train No. 356 be-
fore he could obtain a clear view of
the opposite track, and before he
knew 1t train No. 315 was on him. He
was taken to hotel at Napavlne but
will probably be brought to a hospital
here.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-12-19

Oh MRS. Vivian Lyons. accused OF
shooting Robert Widney, wealthy
real estate man, was postponed for
TWO weeks on account of the inability
OF Widney to appear The woman 4,
confident that Widney will not press
the case
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-12-19
BUTTER-MAKERS MEET
IN ALBANY FOR . DAYS

Albany. Ore, Dec. 19.-The Butter
and Cheese Makers convention open
ed with large attendance from all
sections of the state. President Frazer
gave his annual address and the dele
gates will be welcomed by Mayor Gill
bert. The convention closed We'd
uesday night to be followed by the
Dairymen's Association in a two days
session.
One is seldom disappointed in love
as long as he remains a bachelor.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-12-19
Wanted at Once.

The East oregonian will buy your
old rags. Must be large and clean.
Bring or send them to this office at
your earliest convenience,
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-12-19
Wante.I Mt Once

The East Oregonian will buy your
old rags. Must be large and clean.
Bring or send them to this office at
your earliest convenience.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-12-19
Letter TO
DIR. Kilmer & Co.,
Binghamton, n. Y.

Prove What Swamp-Roo Will Do
For You.
Send to DR.. Kilmer & Co., Bing-
hamton, n. Y, for sample bottle. 1t
will convince anyone. You will also
receive a booklet of valuable infor-
nation, telling all about the kidneys
and bladder. When writing, be sure
and mention the Pend.eton Daily East
Oregonian. Regular fifty-cent and
one-dollar size bottles for sale at all
drug stores.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12
Register if You
Want to Vote

Fourth Ward Precinct j from Fifth
street cast to city limits from Ore.
son avenue north to Iowa avenue. Pre-
ciuct 2, from FIFTH street vest 10 city
limits; from Oregon avenue north to
Iowa avenue.
IN every instance the center Of the
street is the dividing ine.
The Inspectors and registration
places are as follows;
Ward Precinct !. ". G. Wells, al
Wells store. precinct ?. Dr. Womack
at Womacks store, Sixth and Texas
Ward 2-Precinct i. J. H. Freeman,
at Freemans feed store, on Choelaw
avenue; precinct 2. J. W. Welborne
Ninth and Michigan.
Ward Sd H. Austin. at county
clerks office court house.
Ward 44precinct !, e. G. Rogers
l25 Iowa: precinct 2. D. c. Hart. al
register Of deeds dEilee. on North
Third street.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12
ro the Point.

e. R. Smith formerly schoolbook
man and now a farmer and fruit grow
er, tells a story Of a boys essay, writ
ten in a few seconds on the subject Of
suddenly coming into possession Of
wealth.
"The teacher Instructed her pupils
to write an essay on What Would Do
If | Suddenly Became Possessed OF
s10,0OO?" relates Mr.. Smith, and she
warned them that their work was TO
be- seriously considered Papers and
pens were passed. and II was only
few seconds until one boy began to
squirm In his seat. appeared 10 be IN
hurry and suddenly announced he
had finished.
you're through alreadyf the
teacher asked.
Yes. I'm through
Remember, now. I'm going to
mark your essay very closely It
doesn't seem like you could finish such
a subject SO quickly
Go ahead; I'm ready the boy
said.
"The teacher opened the folded pa
per and read:
What would do il ! suddenly be-
came possessed Of f10.0O0g
Not a darned thing -Resoboth
Sunday Herald.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

According % the state law all vot-
ers must register every two years.
The books are now open II you de-
sire to vote in the august primary
you must get new registration cers
tiiicate.
The voting precincts are bounded
as follows:
First Ward Precinct I, from Fifth
street east to city limits from Oregon
avenue south to city limits. Second
precinct, from Fifth street west 10
city limits, from Oregon south to city
limits.
Second Ward-Preeinct J., from Fifth
street vest toeity limits; from Iowa
avenue north to choCtsw avenue. Pre-.
cinct 2, from Fifth street vest to the
city limits; from choctaw avenue
north to city limits.
Third Ward From Fifth street east
to city limits; from Iowa avenue north
10 city limits.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12


The several million Republicans
who have hoped against hope that the
Chicago convention would make some
definite promise Of ultimate relief
from existing governmental abuses
win look in vain for any word of
promise in the Chicago platform There
is cUmplaoent satisfaction with exist
ing conditions and much praise ot
past performances, but concerning the
attitude OF the party on the great
question now agitating the public mind
the platform maintains the silence o.
the damnedno promise Of tariff re-
vision; no mention OF special priyi-
legei no promise Of progressive legis-
latIoa, The hypocritical PROMISE OF
revision downward which polluted the
platform OF 1908 does not reappear in
the platform Of 1912. The present
pronouncement means nothing, and It
frankly says so by promising nothing.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

hold tAss ome ha pef hgs
boyhooa And aH meadows. win incl
clover blossoms and butterflies there
"a; the woods with their appurte0
naueess ths Squirrels ana birds and
echoes and strange noises. aud an dis
tant places which may be visited. to-
setheF with the adventures thefs
found and 7 give to said boys each
his own place az the fireside At night
with all the pictures that may be seen
in the burning wood, to enjoy without
let Of hindFance, and without any in-
sumbfanee of care
Item. To lovers. I devise their inn
aginary world Win whatever they may
need. as the stars Of the sky, the rel
roses BY the wall, the bloom Of the
hawthorne. the sweet strains Of mu.
sic, and aught else they may desire to
figure 10 each other the lastingness
end beauty Of their love.
Item: TO young men, jointly, / de-
wise and bequeath am boisteroua. nj
spring sorts Of rivalry and / give to
them the disdain Of weakness and un-
daunted confidence in their own
strength. Though they are rude,
leave to them the power to make last
ing friendships, and Of possessing com
panions. and % them exclusively, ]
give AT merry songs and brave
choruses to sing with lusty voices.
Item: And 10 those who are nc
longer children. or youths. or lovers,
leave memory, and / bequeath to them
the volumes Of the poems Of Burn.
and Shakespeare and Of other poets
if there be others. To the end that tnel
may live the Old days over again. tree
ly and fully without title or diminn
ton.
Item 10 our loved ones with snow!
crowns, | bequeath the happiness .
old age, the love and gratitude OF thet
children until they fall asleep.-Th,
Institution Quarterly.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12
Man Hater's Library.

Misandry occasionally has its uses
A Russian lady. Nine Kaissavow. who
died ten years ago IA ST. Petersburg,
would not allow fny book written by
man 10 enter hes house. She Nas,
however, voraclous reader and
wealthy enough 10 satisfy her cray
tugs ia this direction on her death
her library vas found 10 contain near
y $4,000 yolumes-all written by
women This was said at the time 10
be the most extensive collection Of
this Hnd ever formed.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12
Saved ard Sawed Il.

TT was terrible situation" said
Dubbleigh. There We were hub deep
In the sand and the tide rising. At
the end Of an hour the water was up
to the floor level Of the tonneau, and
then l managed to get hold Of an old
cuss with a team Of horses and he
hauled us out. "By George that was
a narrow escape. What did you give
the old fellow for rescuing you?" said
Hlggs J offered the old dufter SO.
but he was a retired sea captain and
he attached the car for salvage" said
Dubbleigh.-Harper's Weekly.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

Another good thing to boost right
now is the i've days school OF agricul-
ture to be held here the latter part Of
the month Lets put some Of the
old fashioned Chickasha ginger into
the campaign and make It a big sue
cess. Last year when this school was
held at Anadarko il drew immense
crowds every day and Chickasha ought
10 beat the record of the Caddo coun-
~ capital
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12
M cIassIoa for shank.

A few days ago man Of dignifed
appearance waited for more than an
hour for an opportunity to see Mayor
Shank. His patience was finally re-
xarded when the mayors secretary
told the stranger he was next Mr..
Shank" began the stranger, 4 would
ike to interest you IN a beautiful set
OF ciassics-# Say, interrupted the
mayor, what would do with a sci Of
classics? | am going to spend my
money on politics" And the stranger
fed.-Indianapolis News.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

In the capture Of big. brown col
lie dog. the police Of Woodbury., n. j.,
believe that they have taken into Gus
tody the animal which for the last
few weeks has been feasting on chick
ems, secured in the coops Of Wood
bury residents. A resident Of South
Bend street, Woodbury., heard a noise
IN her yard, the other morning, and.
looking out Of the window. saw the
dog in the act Of killing the last Of
nine hens. Armed with club. she
went into the yard and beat the dog
into submission. but by that time al
her hens we're dead.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

President Tatt has the lone dis
tinction OF being the only president
who ever vetoed bills cheapening
clothing 60 the people, lumber tc the
homeless, meat and bread to the hrn.
cry and implements to the toillng
farmer The bills he vetoed would
have saved more than Ss50.OO0,000 an
naally 70 the consumers of the coun-
ny GAk
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12
IeonosIast Reaumea Work.

A Chicago physician has made a
tranEiation Of an Egyptian paDyrus
which. it Is claimed. dislodges Hippoc-
rates from his place as father Of
medicine" by anticipating his discov.
cries some 5000 years Even append.
citis, it is asserted. Is described in the
old papyrus. It now remains for some
one 70 show that Ecclesiastes' dictum,
There is nothing new under the sun,
was really written by Pharaoh or
Thothmes.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

A salt rub Is most beneficial to the
health. and can be obtained by procur-
ing a bowl Of moistened salt with
which the body should be rubbed An
other invigorating plan Is to buy Che
rock salt, draw a tub Of water and let
tin cups full Of salt dissolve IN Il be-
fore taking the moiA..fS plunge.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

For the man who merely Graves the
honor Of hanging onto the tail Of
Teddy's kite, we can see where the
new party possesses some attractive
power, but for the man bent upon
actuaI reform in the abuses Of gov
ernment We fail TO see Its magnetic
qualities.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

The Baltimore convention vas SIM
liar 10 tho Chicago poV-WoW In the
amount d noise and excitement gener-
ated. bal the Baltimore gathering Tas
e delibeFative assembly-it vas NOT
boughtand-qaidlo7 affair The
steam roller that worked SO effective.
81 at Chicago proved a decided failurN
ID Maryland. TIE r0rk Of the Chi
cago convention was determined be.
fore thar convention ever assembled.
It was A mere formallly, the endorsing
oi what the machine had already ar.
ranged. Il was q Democratic congen.
ton that met by the Chesapeake, and
8 militant convention at that
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12
WILL OF INSANE MAN VERY SANE

A penniless lawyer Of Chicago, hope !
lessly insane, who was an inmate OF
the hospital at Dennlng, died a few
years since, leaving nothing but the
following prose poem, in the form Of
a wilt It will ontlive many learned
treatise destitute OF imagination.
fancy or sentiment; and even many al
bit Of verse Illuminated By the glow OF
true poetic feeling. incidentally ii il.
lustrates the kinship which often sub
slsts between talent aud mental OBJ.
serFation, and may serve TO correct
certain current misconceptions With
reference to the nature OF insanity.
I, Charles Lounsberry. being oi
sonnd and disposing mind and mem
CRY, do hereby make and publish this.
my last viii and testament in order.
as justly as may be. to distribute my
interest in the world among succeed.
ing men.
That part Of my interest, which
know in law and recognized in the
sheen bound volumes as my property,
being inconsiderable and Of none ac-
count / make no disposition Of in this
viii My right 10 live. being but life
estate, is not At my disposal, but these
things excepted. all else in the world
I now proceed to devise and beQueath
/ Item: I give to good fathers and
mothers in trust for their children. al
good little words OF praise and en-
eouragement, and all quaint pet name.
and endearments. and ] charge sais
] parents to use them justly. but gener
oasly, as the needs OF their children
shall requires
Item: / leave to children exclusive
y but only lor the terms OF thei
childhood, an and every, the flower
Of the fields. and the blossoms Of tn
woods. with the right to play anon
them freely according to the custom
Of children, Neaping them at tie sam
time against tle 4histles and thorn,
And devise TO children the banks G
I the brooks and .Se golden sands b,
meath the waters thereof, and ia
odon Of the willows that dip therel
and the white clouds that float hig
6 over the giant trees and / leave /
children the long. long days to
: merry in in a thousand ways. and th
Z asshts and tie moon. and the train
8 the milky Ray to wonder at, but sui
:. Jet nevertheless. to the rights her
!. matter given to lovers.
i. item ! devise q boys Jointly. a
ne useful Idle fields and common
j #heIe bah may be played. all pleasai
= waters, where one may swim; a
+. snoTclad bills, where one may coaa
4. and all streams and ponds. where Of
d may fish or where, when grim wint'
comes one nay skate, to have and
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

Il is gratifying to note the small
campaign contributions that are pour
ina into Gov. Wilson. The reason is
plain Wilson represents the peoples
cause. The Democratic nominee gives
it out that no donations from the "in-
interests viii be needed this time.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

Men think that women always talk
about men When they are alone, says
a writer in Harper's Bazaar. Would
that that were truel For women are
never SO interesting as when they dis
cuss the single aspect which men show
to women. for that is the only subject
that women know.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

The wool bill passed BY Demo
cratic congress and vetoed By Rs-
publican president, would have saved
the consumers s200.000,0OO per annum
on their clothing The one man who
denied the people this great relief IS
the Republican nominee for president.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

We respectfully suggest that Dennis
7. Flynn \. appointed to take charge
Of the campaign in favor Of the Re
publican fair election law" His re-
cent experience on the Republican ma
tional committee ought TO make him
the logical leader in the campaign for
honest elections.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

Doc Doolittle, wrote recipe for
keepin' cool and that's the first Of
ficial act we have heard Of his per
forming as Doc WiIey's successor.
"DooIittler is a good name perhaps
that's Why he was appointed. Doc
Wiley did too much to the food and
drug takers.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

Here's to the SUCCESS Of the Labor
Day celebration. Il is to be hoped that
every citizen will cooperate with the
union boys ia making It the biggest
and best ever
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

The Democrats Of Oklahoma viii
have no difficulty in naming three
worthy men as their nominees for CON
gressmen-at-large. There are 30 can.
didates for the three positions. any one
q whom would make a good congress
man. Some Of the candidates are
counted among the brainiest men in
Oklahoma The voters are certain 70
nominate a ticket that win be an hon.
or to the party and the state.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

For our own part we are getting
sufficiently high temperature iror
the weather man, without allowing
ourselves to become "het up over
politics during the midsummer sea
son.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

The Roosevelt followers have Sc.
leoied the bandaaa handkerchief as
their emblem. They should enacribe
npon those handkerehiefs the fact that
the tariff on handkerchiefs is IA
cents per yard and ten per cent ad-
vaiorem The tariff board has report.
ed that the labor cost OF American
handkerchiefs Is less than that Of the
EOI0pe0a product NeiLhef Roosevelt
nor Taft PROPOSES 70 lower the tariff
On the emblem Of the Roosevelt party
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

All a Washington shop the price q
loun dawgs has been marked down
from Is cents to two for a nickel
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

One Chiekasha lad barely escaped
a trouncing at the hands Of his grand
pa a few weeks ago. his offense being
the wearing Of a Wilson button, but
grandpa Is now wearing one How
times DO change
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12
What,a the una

Why should man commit bigamy
when trouble is available at so much
lower prices7-Atchis0n Globe.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

Ay erroneous reelection
psrson firm Or corporation emen which
columns 81 the Express win Be gladly corrected a being brought
he attention O management
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

Advantage Of Electricity.
Electricity can not be frozen, neith-
sr can It be adulterated. II works
equally well on hot or cold days.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12

LoFimer was cool and collected" as
hc arose to defend himself, according
to a press dispatch. And the Their
mometer was trying to bust" out at
the TOP Surely the senator carries a
private refrigerating plant on his per-
son.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1912-07-12
AA44444A4*4A44es ;
socIErY GOIroR pHoNE 7s.


= Az news intended for public =
2 alton III the Saturday social col 4
+ umns OF The Express should be
+ reported to Miss Mary Agnes
= ONeill, telephone No 10 In 4
, the future the following rule
= will be strictly observed: No I
: items for Saturdays paper will 4
: be accepted later than Friday I
4 noon, except IN case Of events I
: occurring between Friday noon
: and Saturday afternoon This
= rule is made necessary BY GER
: tain requirements in the me
= chanioal department, and can
: not be ylolaled-dont ask the
= society editor to do 50. Please
= note change IN telephone mum
= bcr OF The society editor. and
G report all items 10 Miss O'Neifi.
= No, rs.
+4@4@ %$@%4@&