The Arvada enterprise., 1912-05-02
NEED TO BE MUSSED
BACHELORS TOO SATISFIED. DE
cLAREs MRS. BILL.
They Don't Care Enough About Other
People and Should All Be Married
to the Old Maids.

Mrs. Bill is the boss of the Bllssful
Flats In which | am happily domiciled.
We give 1t that name because only
the unmarried occupy it, except Mrs.
Bill in the basement Mrs. Bill used
to be married, but she is no longer so,
the late lamented Mr.. Bill having
passed over so long ago that Mrs.
Bill never mentions him. At least,
scarcely ever. and the few remarks
she has been heard to make leave the
inference that If Mrs. Bill ever mar.
ried again her first never would be
held up to her second as a model
And there's some comfort in that.
However. Mrs. Bill is a most exem.
plary and capable woman, and there
isn't a bachelo among us who doesn't
hope, when ila does hope, that the
woman he marries will possess most
of her virtues. Yet none of us show
any signs of wanting to marry Mrs.
Bill. Such Is the inconsistency OF
man. One of Mrs. Bills most delight
full characteristics is her conversation
or rather her talk, for she does the
most of It, when once she is started,
and she starts very easily. One of her
tenants is in the automobile business
and he says he thinks of inventing a
new style of car which he proposes
to call the Mrs. Bill, wholly on the
ease with which she can get started
And Mrs. BIZ gets there, too, when
she starts, which cannot be truthfully
said Of every motor car.
She came into my den the other
afternoon to have look at how ]
was being cared for, and after snoop
ing around some she shifted at what
she saw.
What's wrong?" says |.
20, nothing" says she, only you're
a bachelor"
Il might be something worse" says
mot much" says she with conf,
dence, "and you couldn't be no more
uncomfortable as far as tidying up
things goes. Land, alive, | don't see
how bachelors stand living the way
they do. Now look at this room. Do
you suppose if you had wife it would
look mussed up like this?"
But | might be-" ventured.
well, you ought to be" she says.
When a man never is mussed up any
he gets to thinking his way is the
best way. and 1t amt. no matter what
1t Is. Nobody can put himself up as
| the mark to go by. He's got to learn
| that everybody is different and some
cant be satisfied and most is some
unhappy, and he owes 1t to his feller
humans to do some suffering himself
SOS he will know how to sympathize
with them that amt built like he ie
or got what he's got, or hasn't And
old maids amt any better than bach
elors.' she went on. before | could say
word in self-defense.
Maybe you want the bachelors to
marry the old maids, Mrs. Bill?" says
| meekly
IT'S Just what they deserve" says
she. ficking the dust off pile Of
books. "and the Lord have mercy on
them both Nobody can be happy in
this world If they don't know what uu-
| happiness is, and you bachelors live
to yourselves and for yourselves, new
er caring a cookey whether other peO-
pie are getting along all right or not.
| so longs you don't have much to both
er you. You've got to be bothered by
other peoples bothers or you amt do.
ing what the good Lord sent you here
| below to do. that's what. If you don't
believe It you try living by yourself
on desert island some place. A
month OF that and you'd wake up I'm
| thinking You don't here because you
know you can If you want to- If you
knowed you couldn't you'd be mighty
different mighty quick"
Somebody called to her from the
hall.
Il suppose" says |, as she moved
| toward the door, that you would rec.
ommend marriage as a sure means Of
| learning how to sympathize with thosa
who suffer-"
We'll, I've been married." says she
| and went out.-New York Evening
Sun.