davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

A woman can easily win in any kind of an argument with a man if she knows just when to turn on the briny flow.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05
Pleasant Feature of Winter.

There is this cheerful fact about winter: Nobndy makes any money by a report that the crops have been ruined.-St. Louis Times.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

A man thinks a girl Is perfectly proper who refuses to kiss h!m-be- cause he can't think of any other req son why she should refuse.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05
4 SpeciaI Favor.

Customer~-I want ton of coal
 Dealer-Yss, sir. What size?
 Customer--Well. if it's not asking too much, I'd like to have 2,000- pound Brooklyn Life.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

Coal Used to Drive Ocean Ships.
 estimates place the coal consumed ou he oceans of the world at approxi lateiy 75,00o, ,o0e tons per annum, val aed at >-Sr s25c, ,ooQ,ooo
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05
The One Thina That Matters.

When you come down to the very Oedrock of affairs nothing matters TO d nation excepting the health ana number of it's babies.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

If a man isn't sufficiently original to manufacture his own lies he should stick to the truth.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

A woman laughs when she can and Ueens when she will.-Proverh,
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

The gossip of today may ba the su- persttion of tomorrow.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

A jealous woman enables his Satanic majesty to take a vacation now and then.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

Every tin-e girl sees handsome young man she wonders whose sweet heart he is
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

Mrs winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children teething, softehs the gums, reduces inhamma- ton. allays pa; n, cures wind collie, 25c bottle.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

Here's consolation for the married man; When the suffragettes gain their point. and an election doesn't go his way, he can blame it on his wife.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

The man who paddles his own tomorrow
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

Quality quantity -is something to con- sider in purchasing remedy for eonstipa- tion or as a laxative How about Garfield Tea
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

Perhaps there is no marriage in heaven because the angels know bet ter
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

Garfield Tea. laxative of superior quail ity For those suffering wish constipation.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05
TO DRIVE OCT MALARIA
 ND RI LID UP THE SYSTEM

Take the Old standard GROVES PASTEL ESS CHILL TONIC You know what you talk ing The formula is plainly printed on every bottle, showing 1t is simply Quinne and Iron tasteless form and the most efectual form. For grown people and chld:on 50 cents.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

Many man hides his wife's coffin with roses. who never gave her five dollar bill to do as she pleased with.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

Garfield Tes purlfes the blood and clears the colnplexloe. Drink before retiring.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

Dickey's Old Reliable Eye-water cures sore or weak eyes. Don't hurt. Feels good
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

Men nay be born modest. but wom- en have to acquire all they get.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

Ten smiles for nickel. Always buy Red Cross Ball Blue; have beautiful clear white clothes.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

When a mans conscience troubles him he thinks he has indigestion.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05
When Your Eyes Need Care

Try Murine Eye Remedy No Smartipg--l cells Fine-Acts Quickly. Try 1t for Red, " talk. Watery Eyes and Granulated r,yelids. Illus tratee Book in each Package. Murine is compounded by our Oculists-not "Patsnt Med icnen-but used in successful Physicians prac- tice for many years. Now dedi cated to the Pub lie and sold by Druggists at 25c and 60c per Bolt le
 Murine Eye Salve In Aseptic Tubes, 25c and 60c,
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

placed asyssur,n. Aa~ tracts and hiAso 1Ac eies- Nsak. ssssu& ~rs- nasneDtAl sxsssens<<asz, cheap iasss s-a1 ssasoa. N adv e>1 metal, cAn'ssSssl - over, vii, mol s.aaIa - tnture anyshiM- Guarantees 6 es7B0
 Sold by drshe11
 6 sent pressid
 Ave. BrSsAiJn
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

The man who has something to sell is always an optimist.
The Nevada County picayune., 1912-07-05

Failure is always spoiled by sue
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29
Wanted Run for His Money

watching a game with interest, Stone
asked him If he didn't want to shoot
one for pastime.
Tho old man got a cue and they
banked for shot. The old fellow won
and started in. He made the first
shot, and then nudged the balls into a
corner, then ran them down the rail
broke them over to the other end and
did the same thing again. Stone sat
there with his eyes popping out of his
head until the fatherly old gent ran
the ga 1e out without a break.
Stone walked over to the cue rack
put up his cue and started out. Hold
on. Mr.. Stone" called the marker
you forgot to pay for the game"
What gamer" asked Cal.
The one you have just played"
Il haven't played any game, retort-
ed Stone. and he kept right on until he
reached the street The peculiar part
of the affair is that the old man walk
ed out. and no one knows who he was.
- Louis Globe Democrat
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

she here? What upheayaI in the hui
man reckoning has sent her adrift?"
Her voice came from the muffIed
depths of her arms. She had not
raised her head nor moved. Il
thought you had gone" she sighed;
then her voice continued its low muir
murings. q am here because during
the last year 1 have given brain and
body and everything that l possessed
to my art-struggling, fighting and
always sure of winning the big prize
that was at stake. 1 failed" An iron
ical hardness had come into her voice.
after giving gladly, freely of the
very breath 1 drew toward the COM
pletion Of my competition statue I
was awarded the second prize-a
shining gold medal with a red ribbon
attached to it!'' Trevor again flinched
from the timbre of her voice. 81
tried to crush the golden bauble with
a rock just now, but it only Knocked
me in the glimmer Of the arc light
and flung it into that fountain!"
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29
Her Excuse.

these people have plausible and
self-righteous excuse for their mis-
Deeds" said Senator Bankbead, apro-
pos of certain hypocritical Iawbreak-
ers, in an address in Fayette
They remind me, in fact, of a GER
tain parsons domineering wife. The
parson said meekly one day:
My love, you told me before the
wedding that you knew our marriage
was made in heaven, yet you now or
der me about as If l were a slave
"'Order,' the woman calmly an
swered, is heavens first law"
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29
HEN FRUIT, CACKLEBERRY OR PLAIN EGG
[By WIN. A. LIPPINCOTT.l

The egg that is laid by the Kansas
hen is a mighty interesting little ar
ticle when you really get acquainted
with it. 1t is about the only Kansas
animal product used for human food
that comes to the consumer in its
own sanitary, sealed package. It is
the original inner SEAL 1t turns
up IN unexpected forms and unsus-
Eected places.
When a sailor in the navy signs for
hen fruit and is a long way from
shore, he takes down q can of yellow
powder, mixes it with water ard sits
down to a very fair omelet An egg
substitute? Not at all. Eggs can be
cold stored but they haven't been sue
cessfully initiated yet. The whole
edible egg is there. Only the shell
and water have been left behind
Thirty dozen eggs make a ease and
ought to weigh 40 pounds Kansas
eggs are likely to be a bit shy ard
range between ~ and 43. After the
shells are removed and the moisture
driven off case will yield to 91k
pounds of powder One company is
said to have contracted to deliver 80
tons of this powder in a year.
The lonely sheep herder on the
western range can use it, too. The
only difference is that he calls it
'cackleberry'' and prefers it in flakes
Or chips rather than powder. He says
it dissOlves better that way
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29
AI'M ONLY A LITTLE GIRL"
Failing Eyesight Responsible for an
Old Mans Mistake-Rebuke
Hardly Effective.

A certain group Of youngsters in an
exclusive West Side residential section
had been very noisy throughout tie
forenoon.
The children were still doing their
utmost to initiate a bedIam, when a
very angry old man appeared at the
door Of nearby apartment house. He
was quite old, and 1t was evident that
his eyesight was not the best, but he
finally succeeded in picking out a
youngster who was aiding very strenu-
Ously in the noise making.
The aged man walked over to the
child, took it by the hand and walked
back to the apartment When he
reached the doorway he turned to the
child and said:
Don't you know it's against the
law to make so much noise?''
Yes, sir" was the meek reply.
"Well, don't you know that you'll
be arrested and put in Jail, and then
you can never be president of the
United States?"
Please, sir?" replied the child, 'T
don't care; I'm only a little girl -
New York Mail.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29
Defeated Man Was Able to Say With
Perfect Truth That He Had Not
Played Any Billiards.

Cal. Stone is one of the best known
passenger agents in the northwest
For many years he has made st. Paul
his headquarters, and has done a
great deal in building up the passen-
ger business of the Northern Pacific,
Great Northern and the Chicago, Mil
waukee & st. Paul roads Some time
ago he became imbued with the idea
that he could make more money in
the timber land business. and went
into it.
AS a side line he represents the
Thirt--sixth district, which is the city
of st. Paul, in the Minnesota Iegis-
lature. Cal is fond of the game of
billiards. playing a fair average game.
The other night he dropped into a no
tel billiard room looking for a game
None Of his cronies were there. but
seeing u fatherly old man sitting
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29
How GIRLS
MAY AVOID
PERIODIC PAINS
The Experience of Two Girls
Here Related For The
Benefit Of Others.

Rochester, N. Y.-"I have daugh-
ter Ii years old who has always been
very healthy until recently when she
complained Of dizziness and cramps every
month, so bad that I would have to keep
her home from school and put her to bed
to get relief.
"After giving her only two bottles Of
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound she is now enjoying the best of
health. cannot praise your Compound
too highly. I want every good mother
TO read what your medicine has done for
my child. Mrs. RICHARD N. DUNBAR,
BIZ Exchange St, Rochester, NY.
Stoutsville, Oh:a ct suffered from
headaches, backache and was very irreg-
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

Every egg the hen lays is salable,
good, bad and Indifferent That is to
say if they are not too bad. The real
ly rotten egg is a waste. The num-
Der of rotten eggs in Kansas would
be reduced nearly so per cent if the
male birds were kept from the lay
ing flock from May to November The
infertile egg seldom rots.
In this state a dealer may be prose-
cuted for selling sour eggs for human
food. So he sells them for something
else, though he takes a lower price.
Who buys them? The kid glove
maker. He beats his kids soft in a
yolk bath. And it is said that the
ripper the great foaming yellow bath
is, the better he likes it.
The Indifferent egg, neither good
nor bad, is broken and split The
yolk goes to the low grade bakers and
the whites to the paper manufacturer
for sizing. Eggs that reach the mar
ket fresh and wholesome, but cracked,
may be turned over to the confection-
er for immediate consumption or they
may be dried.
Good eggs may be sold in the shell
or they may be split and frozen.
Some lines of trade want only whites
and some only yolks and want them
in bulk. Where they are broken and
frozen eggs may be kept a long time
without acquiring the cold storage
favor, but spoil quickly on thawing.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29
Copyright, 1912, by Associated Literary
Pressl

Copyright, 1912, by Associated Literary
Press.l
There was no moon-the faint
gIimmer from an arc light shone on
the huddled figure. Trevor drew
center Of the square, but the figure
dropping near its base neither moved
nor made sound.
a fog-hung, damp midnight was
not the time for either man or beast
to be gracing the foot Of a statue,
and Trevor approached the person
there, keen sense of duty toward
the outcasts of life squirting him on.
In the dim light he could discern
nothing save a huddled mass. He
touched the human wreckage gently
with his walking stick.
From the darkness and shadows
the ghostly outlines of a white tragic
face appeared like a mirage in the
desert. Trevor caught his breath
sharply and half recoiIed The face
was that of a woman, drawn and
miserable in its portrayal of abject
failure. She would have sunk down
again into that semi-conscious stupor
of desolation had not Trevor pre-
vented her by speaking.
What is it?" he asked gently. 81
want to help you"
The girl raised a slender, tapering
hand to her brow as if to brush
away an imaginary shadow. When
she spoke, the low pitched anguish
in her voice gripped at Trevor's
heart with hitherto unknown ter
ror. He realized suddenly that he
had never experienced big emotions.
you are kind" she managed to
say in that sorrowfuI voice that
trembled even as a frightened child's,
but my faith is gone-faith in God,
in myself, in art, and even my faith
In death as a peace giver has gone,
and 1 have not the power to take
my"
DON'T" Trevor stopped her abb
ruptly, shrinking from the words that
would have followed.
The woman drew a long. weary
breath and her head fell forward on
her outstretched arms. Trevor stood
a long moment looking down at the
huddled mass that was the habita-
ton of a woman's soul, broken and
utterly trodden under by the hoofs
Of destiny.
But why (Trevor was scarcely
conscious Of voicing his thoughts) is
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

OrangedaIe, Short Horn Calf Prize
there is a ready market for the whole
milk, it is a losing proposition to feed
whole milk to a calf that will finally
sell on the market for veal
Another solution 10 this problem is
to feed the minimum amount of milk
and getting the calf to eat grain or
grueIs made of grain as early as pos
sible. Some feed the milk for two
or three months and at the end of
this time the calf is entirely fed on
dry feed. This is probably the best
method to follow
Hay tea has been fed with fairly
good results. In a trial at the Kansas
State Agricultural College, calves fed
on tea made from mixed hay tor
chard grass, bluegrass, and red
clover made less than a pound gain
in live weight per day. Some feeders
have used tea made from alfalfa hay
with good results, but as a general
rule the laxative properties of the al
falfa make it almost impossible to
keep the calves from securing. One
of the principal objections to any kind
of tea is that it is troublesome to
make and keep in good condition for
feeding. It should be made fresh at
least every other day.
There are a great many milk SUBJ
stftutes advertised on the market to-
day, but these are usually expensive
and for best results some milk should
be fed with them.
The calves should by all means be
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29
Heard on the Waterfront.

Some ancient mariners were sitting
in z seaport tavern relating their ex-
peTiences of fogs
"AhI" said one old salt I've seen
some pretty thick fogs in my time.
Why, of the coast of Newfoundland the
fog was sometimes so thick that we
used TO sit on the deck rail and lean
against it, We were sitting one night
as usual, with our backs to the fog,
when suddenly the fog lifted, and We
all went flop into the sea. A bit thick,
wasn't it?"-San Francisco Chronicle.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29
Law Of Life.

Two men were out walking one day
IN sun-kissed California Suddenly, kiss
ing time being over, it began to rain
in torrents and they were miles
from the car line. One man laughed,
long and loud. The other wept bit
terly. why do you laugh?" he asked
his chuckling companion. Because
l am paying meter rates on water.
But why do you weep?" Because
am paying SO a day for climate" re
piled the tourist. "One mans meat
is another mans meat bill.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

the Proof of Good Feeding.
more individual attention. They can
be fed as individuals, and a case of
scours among calves may be located
more readily in this manner, and a
remedy may be applied at once. Where
there is less room to be had, the
stanchions will usually give the best
results. A stanchion made of wood
by using the following dimensions will
be entirely satisfactory: The stan
chion should be made from to 81
feet high, and Is to "a inches from
center to center, and neck space
should be 4 to inches wide. The
stanchion is built in. the same manner
as the old style rigid stanchion., The
feed manger may be made II to Il
inches wide, or wide enough to &C
commodate the milk pail The calf
should be fastened while he drinks
the milk, and the grain fed immedi-
ately afterward. By the time the
calves have eaten the grain they will
lose all desire to suck each others
ears. A part of the manager may be
used for hay, but the calves should
be loosened from the stanchions af-
ter they have eaten their grain The
calf pens and stanchions should be
built in the south side of the barn
where plenty of sunshine and light
can be had. There is no disinfectant
that will take the place of sunshine
During the summer the calf should
have access to a pasture lot where
there is plenty of shade
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29
A Fine Distinction.

The friend Of the city editor was
being initiated into the mysteries OF
modern journalism
How large a staff have your he
asked.
Let me see unused the city edi-
tor. I'VE have about fifty men, five
women and three society reporters"
Judge
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

dL me hdHsds ASIIcuItuIdI OoIISSS.I
kept in clean, well lighted and ventt-
lated stables. Where plenty Of barn
or shed room is at hand, the best
method for handling the calves is to
keep each one in a separate pen. A
pen three feet wide, five feet long,
and three feet high is large enough
to accommodate the calf until it is
four to six months old. There are
many advantages in keeping the
calves in this manner. The calves
will not suck each others ears when
they get through drinking their milk,
and thereby cause the ears to freeze
in cold weather, and they can be given
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

thanks for what Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound has done for me.
I had taken other medicines but did not
find relief. Miss CORA B. FOsNAUGH,
Stoutsville, Ohio, RID, No. 1.
Hundreds of such letters from moth
ers expressing their gratitude for what
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound has accomplished for their daugh-
ters have been received by the Lydia E.
Pinkham Medicine Company, Lynn, Mass.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29
A Few prainaae Proverbs.
Do not let your SOIL wash away.
cannot stand wet feet.

Do not let your soil wash away.
Alfalfa cannot stand wet feet.
Cut the timber on the river bank
and use it for fire wood
Tile drainage unlocks the stored-up
plant food in the soil
A clean river channel will carry
from 20 per cent to 40 per cent more
water than an obstructed one
Proper soil drainage prevents con-
tamination of the water-supp1y.
Improper drainage causes malaria,
typhoid, dysentery, rheumatism, and
pneumonia
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29
His chanoed Eortune

wow There went Smithkins In
hi; new six. When 1 knew him few
years ago he had junk shop
He still has. Only he moved it to
a fashionable street, kept the same
stock, and labeled it Antiques -
Judge.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

~ n MANY farms, especially those
near the larger milk markets,
the whole milk is sold from
the farm. On such farms the prob
lem Of feeding calves is more serious.
Here the calf must be raised on the
minimum amount of milk, and this
usually is whole milk Some farmers
solve the problem of raising the
calves by letting two of them nurse
one COW. Often there are COWS in
the herd that are hard to milk, and
such COWS are turned over to the
calves. In such cases only the very
best heifer calves are raised Where
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

ular. A friend adj
vised me to tax Q
Lydia E. Pinkham's
V e g e table Com
pound, and before I
had taken the whole
of two bottles I
found relief. l am
only sixteen years
old, but 1 have bet
ter health than for
two or three years.
/ cannot express my
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

A very successful remedy for pelvic
catarrh is hot dOuches of Paxtine n
tiseptic, at druggists, Csc a box or sent
postpaid on receipt of price by The
Paxton Toilet, Co. Boston, Mass
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29
Destined for Many rrins.

81 have written a short story" said
the amateur literary persoE What
is the first step to take in selling it2"
Buy ten dollars worth of stamps"
advised the old hand at the business
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

Dat teller 'Rastus Skinnah done
bin talktn' a powahfuI lot bout how
he's a-raisin' chickens
Shot He doan' mean raisfn',' he
means liftin'. "-Catholic Standard and
Times.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

Too Favorable 4 DescrIpt,on
THAT man is a pinhead
You fatter him pinnead kToEs
just how far to go -
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

The United States is second in the
number of cattle, with 20 million
head. British India is first with 81
million. Russia is third with SIS
million. There are about 40 million
cattle in the world.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29
The Condensed Product

ooh, auntie, can I go to the fancy
dress ball as a miIkmaid?''
mo, darling; you're too SMALL
We'll, then, can 1 go as a condensed
milkmaid?''
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

No. Cordelia, a man isn't necessa
rily a beat because he ha red lace
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

Liver and kidney complaints will be greatly
helped by taking Garfield Tea regularly.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

A large percentage or ali sickness sIar1s
with unhealthy conditions Of the digestive
organs Garfield Tea viii set them right
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

Even the thirst for glory may have
: It's direfuI after effects
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

Some people away up in the social
scale are really too light to bring the
scale down.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

Mrs WILSON'S Soothing Syrup for C1iso7ea
teething, softens the guns, reduce- ~ "a
ton, AR4ys pain cures wind coIie - s-Dstla
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

Smokers find LEWIS Single Binder Sc
cigar better quality than most 1Oc cigars.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

No amount of culture will make q
man stop snoring in his sleep
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

a good memory is essential to a sue,
cessful liar.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

The old friend is better than the new.
found true Made Of pure wholesome Herbs.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

The wages of arbitration should be
paid as peace work
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1912-06-29

It is possible for q man to be
straight and make both ends meet?