davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Uncertainty in Politics

T recall good many presidential cleo tion years when there was a good deal of stir before the convention. and a good deal of betting on results. but have never known time when 1t was so hard to guess what the two great parties would do in the way of nominations" said F. w. Singerly of Chicago.
 T usually vote the republican ticket, and have always had liking for mak- ing bets, but this year I have made no bet because I simply couldn't make up my mind how things were going, and never put up a wager unless I feel very sure.
 Three or four months ago many of my republican friends. and some demo- crats, too, made small bets that Roose- welt would be the republican nominee Then the situation seemed to change, and the chances favored Taft's renomina- tion. Two weeks ago Roosevelt seemed dead sure winner. Today I think it safe to say that MT. Taft will be nomi- mated and that Colonel Roosevelt will bolt. It looks to me as if the republicans had got themselves into a worse wrangle than in any previous year in their his tory.
 'If the democrats cannot win next No vember it will be because the Baltimore convention fails to act with any degree of wisdom. Roosevelt Is nothing like so strong with the people as some of his admirers think he is. Taft Is admittedly weak, but many practical politicians, It seems, favor Tafts nomination. In the event of two republican tickets Under wood simon pure democrat of Alabama, would have an easy victory.
 T used to take politics seriously, but now I don't care much which side wins. We have got a great country and who- ever is elected President will doubtless administer the government according to the constitution"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
Our Fleet and Marines in Cuba

Four battleships and a gunboat and force of marines are due to arrive at Guantanamo, and no more ships or marines will at present be sent to Ori- ente province, or to any other part of Cuba. The province of Oriente has been put under martial law, and the marines will be sent to plantations and property that need protection.
 On the part of the negro insurrec-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
Did Not Think It sacrilege

"I understand that several church pa pers criticised United States Senator John Sharp Williams of Mississippi for recit- ing parody on the Apostles Creed in q speech he made in the Senate last April. but the strongest article I have read Is from the Churchman-a prominent Prot estant Episcopal publication" said a. lay man. "The Churchman regrets that while the senator asked permission to have the parody omitted from the permanent rec ord he made no adequate explanation or apology for his sacreligious folly. That paper goes on to say:
 ITO devout and reverent people this travesty upon the creed by a senator has brought pain and distress. Nor does the episode admit of light or easy explana- tion. It cannot be dismissed as the blum der of a light-minded man. for the sen- ator from Mississippi is a lawyer of S5 years standing, and one of the ablest representatives the south has sent to Washington in the past two decades; nor as an act of youthful bravado, for Sem ator Williams has been almost 20 years a congressman. He has served on inn portant committees, and as leader of his party in the House. It cannot be account ed for by ignorance of the nature of the offence; for MT. Williams. as the letter from his rector published in recent is- sue of the Living Church informs us, is a churchman.
 The reply of the senator to letter of protest-that he did not regard the Apostles Creed al a sacred form of words because some of the statements it con- tains as. for example, that of the resur- rection of the body-are matters of con- troversy, is unsatisfactory In spirit even more than in content. It is not worthy of his really large ability. {. What is the explanation for an act of hppant and ribald sacrilege on the part of a man of MT. Williams intellectual stature? It has been suggested that it was due to inadvertenee and that the sen- ator did not himself write the parody, and though It might lessen our regard for his judgment, we should be glad to ad- init an element of inadvertence in the act. But the true explanation Is to be found. we fear, in the regrettable loosening of restraint in recent political controversy among us. If we are correct, the evil tendency of the times has led the senator into an act which, no doubt he has gen. timely repented. And if this be so, he owes 1t to himself, to good citizenship and to the religious sentiment which he has wronged to make ample and reverent apology 2"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
LOOKING OUT FoR NUMBER ONE

From Judges Library.
 Sydney had been given some discard ed millinery with which to amuse her. self. She trimmed a marvellous looking hat, and so arranged it that long red ostrich plume hung straight down from the front of the briIn, over her baby face.
 Come here, Sydney" said her mother Let me tack that feather back, out of your eyes"
 ''Oh. no, mother I want it that way. so I can see it myself. Most always only other people can see the feathers on my hats"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
The New Government BuildIng

''The government owns the site at the northwest corner of Fifth avenue and Nineteenth street upon which 1t will erect handsome postoffice build ing" said a citizen The site is paid for and the next Congress will prob ably make the appropriation for the editce. As Birmingham is growing rap idly and has great future, a build ing to cost fully s1.oo0,oo0 will doubt less be planned.
 "The governments architect in Washington who outlines in a general way Uncle Sams building policies has indicated that the Birmingham postof- fee would be about two stories in height with the effect of three. The government seldom, if ever, builds sky scrapers. Beauty as well as utility Is always in mind. The new postoffice will be a work of art. The money for the new building will hardly be avail able before 1915"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
ruE kIn,s VIEW or IT

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 The child was put in the bathtub, but still she continued to shriek. She was given the floating soap and the bath brush and a rubber elephant to play with, and was then left to herself. Yet she hollered.
 Then her mother called up to her:
 Keep your mouth shut while you are in the tub"
 "Why?" insisted the voice.
 "Youll know when you swallow a lot of soapy water
 why can't l swallow soapy water? Ain't there plenty more?'
 Kids are hopeless, almost, sometimes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

From the Rogers, Ark, Co-operator.
 The mountain dew factory has been closed down the past week on account of an innocent looking individual who has been visiting here in the mean time. The chemist of the factory Is spending his enforced vacation in a cave further down the river. It Is to be hoped that the innocent looking party will soon take up his departure so that our chemist can dew as he pleases.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
Publicity in Chicago

Both sides in the Coliseum annex in Chicago want publicity. They are hungry for it. Each feels it must have it. The Roosevelt boomers want all reporters admitted, but the Taft adherents say that the reporters of five press associations can do the work, and it was so determined.
 Alabama, Arizona and Arkansas had an inning yesterday and the other states, territories and provinces will be heard in alphabetical order. In contests over state delegation 30 minutes will be granted to each side, but in district contests only 15 min utes will be granted to each side.
 There are 23s contests pending and the calendar will be cleared with diff ficulty. Alabama's contests between the ins and the outs was heard first, and the reader Is referred to the news columns of The Age-Herald for re- port of methods and results.
 Publicity in such contests is new feature. Heretofore they have been star chamber affairs. The times are changed and politicians are compelled to change with them. The peoples business can no longer be conducted in a back room by half dozen of poli- ticians. Publicity is public demand, and it is demand that even nation al committee dares not ignore.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
THE SECRET OF III.

THE SECRET OF HIS CHEER. The ightest-hearted fellow
 That ever you did see: His mood was always mellow
 He bubbled OCT with glee. No matter what the weather.
 He didn't seem to mind And taken all together,
 His like you seldom find. We wondered oft what made him So free from all alarms, That nothing ever frayed him
 And life still had it's charms. We didn't dare to question.
 But when he talked with us, We learned that his digestion Was simply marvellous.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
HUT HE HAD TO STAY

From Harper's Magazine.
 At a fashionable party held the other evening, one of the men guests stood near the door yawning.
 Another man, standing near, asked: Are you very much bored, sir?"
 'Yes, dreadfully," came the answer. And you?'
 Me? Oh, I am bored half to death." The first man yawned again.
 Suppose we clear out together? he suggested.
 I'm sorry I can't I'm the host.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
WOULD NOT SAVE HIS HEROINE

From the London Chronicle. 4
 Balfour's toast of the '1iterature in particular which serves the great cause of cheering us all up," reminds one how an artist was once tempted to give his heroine health and happiness.
 "Clarissa Harlowe" ran its course in volumes issued periodically, and at the end of the sixth clarissa was left dying. This so affected misguided enthusiast that he at once offered Richardson $5000 if in the next volume he would restore her to health.
 Richardson refused. Literature has it's heroes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
The Iron Market

Consumers of pig iron are busy" say Matthew Addy & Go. In their Gin cinnati report This is the best and most promising feature of the market. Our mail is full of requests to hurry shipments and concerns that had bought all the iron they anticipated needing have. owing to an increased volume of trade. been obliged to make additional purchases. Today there Is no piling of surplus iron in furnace yards. On the contrary there Is a demand for every ton of iron that is produced and more than that the reserve stock piled dur ing the dull times has been drawn upon heavily so that 1t is already beginning to be a vanishing body
 Prices are responding to the larger
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
POWER OF THE HUMAN EYE

Joe Mitchell Chapple, in Joe ChappIes s
 News Letter.
 How often we say, T recognized him. sometimes at distances that make us doubtful. Now the German government has made scientific investigations snow ing the distance at which this recognition may be considered reliable. According to their report, a man with good eyes will recognize not greatly exceeding s2 feet. An intimate acquaintance may be recog- nized at from 16o to 320 feet and very dear friend or relative up to 300 feet.
 The rineman can discern the different parts of his adversary's body. and every decided movement at about 300 feet, and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 Love letters take lot more ink than brains.
 All a woman needs to believe gossip is to know it isn't so.
 It's standstill race between a woman's age and waist measurement
 Most people count the chicks not only before they are matched, but be- fore the eggs are laid.
 The more a man ought to be clerk the bigger grievance he can have be cause he isn't railroad president
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
Porter an optirnist

II. J. Porter is pleased-not with any thing in particular. He is just pleased with everything in general.
 We have a great city, said he yester- day Birmingham has everything In a business way. But that is beside the ques- tion. Birmingham is greatest in that it is a delightful yin which to live.
 And here is Alabama with matchless resources. l am glad that during the re- cent administrations of state affairs at tention has been given to education When we all know what to do with the goods around us, imagine how Alabama will blossom. It will be the greatest state in the union.
 we are going to nominate Oscar un- derwood. The opportunity is before us. We will grasp 1t. This is certainly great year for the people of this section. It is good to be alive"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
UPLIFT NOTE

From the Farnum tNeb.) Echo.
 Tuesday Frank Tisdell connected up his tathtub in the barber shop. as the season is now approaching for the taking of bathA
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
LOVE WILL FIND OUT THE WAY

From Old English. Over the mquntains
 And over the waves. Under the fountains
 And under the graves Under floods that are deepest,
 Which Neptune obey. Over rocks that are steepest,
 Love will find out the way Where there Is no place
 For the glow worm to lie, Where there is no space,
 For receipt of a fly. Where the midge dares not venture.
 Lest herself fast she lay, If Love come he will enter
 And will find out the way.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

Texas is now the onion state, and the motto on its shield may yet be amended so as to read, Tn onion there is strength
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

TO THE END. This life is a game And all must play it: There's the deed we must do And the word-we must say it. And days to be met, Forlorn and dreary, When the way seems long And our hearts are weary This life Is a game And ere we finish, Our store of hope We must oft replenish- Still guard our souls From grief dismaying And, crowned or disowned, For aye keep playing!
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

''There is no use,, said Senator John sharp Williams, "in having the govern .ment bathe us." This does not, however, mean that senatorial baths are compul- sory
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

The Providence Journal says that "un- derwood and Redfield would be ticket that would appeal to lovers of forestry and the rural arts"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

Ten per cent of the bill is suggested as the official and recognized tip in New York. Negotiations are progressing on that basis
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

a movement of the legs or arms up to little more than twice that distance. At 600 yards a moving man Is a mere creep ing blur on the landscape, and at 800 yards any movements of the arms or legs are no longer visible.
 Of course, there are averages such as the turist much recognize in weighing the evidences of witnesses. and the military leader in noting the position of his antag- onist and the outside limit of effective rife and pistol fire. Then. there are ex- captions to these rules. Hunters, seacoast dwelers, prairie cattlemen and farmers whose sight. unweakened by civilized life and trained by constant exercise of Hong sight" will often nearly double the averages given. So, too, the clearer air of the elevated prairies and table lands certainly doubles the power of the human eye.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

New York is standing it's walters strike nobly, but if the dispensers of likker should also strike the situation would be- come serious.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

Judge Lindsey of Denver says he is not aware that he has been guilty of any thing that would warrant the mention of his name for Vice President.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

John Hays Hammond has been called back from Yurrup by business. He may be wanted at Chicago, where a campaign slate Is to be made up.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

No, Mabel, the Chicago convention will not indorse the junior senator of Illinois, even though it nets in his home city.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

The tomtoms keep Chicago awake and alert although the convention is ten days away.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

The impression gains ground that the colonel will not ride into the convention on a bucking broncho and shoot 1t up.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

It costs s6 to bathe senator and it costs a good deal more to whitewash one
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
BAD EFFEcT

What sort of fellow is Briscomb?" "A human cucumber" How Is that?"
 "He gives people a pain.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

demand. Tn the south quotations are particularly firm. Buffalo has gone up a dollar. The steel mills are rushed and basic iron is already in short sup ply. Undoubtedly before the year IS over there will be difficulty in fur nishing all the basic that will be needed.
 New business during the week has been good. purchases covering the en- tire field. Probably the northern Iron masters have had the larger share, put the south has had good orders.
 "The situation grows more and more favorable as the season advances. It looks now as if business were going on despite the hoodoo of presidential campaign. The real truth Is that the country needs iron, for since 1907 there has been an under-consumption or Iron and the deficiency has to be met.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

The Canadian Young Mems Christian association has seeded. It prefers inde- pendence to second fiddle position.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
0NE FORM oF IT.

T thought you said Mrs. Gribbet didn't gamble?"
 She doesn't gamble. The idea of such a thingi"
 "umph! She's been married three times.H
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

The convention stage is near at hand, and the primart schooling has taught the people great deal of politics.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

The woman suffrage amendment is No. a3 on the Ohio ballot, but it cannot be hoodooed by a mere number.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

Judge Archibald submitted no defense, and yet his resignation would not be
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

The name of Bath. Me, may be changed to Morseville. The suggested change has at any rate been made.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
THE pERFECT JuLEp

The hotel register may be abolished, but the clerks diamonds cannot be-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

June is now engaged in wiping out deficit at the end of the national fiscal year
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
Downfall of the Pompous

There was a young man guiding us through the army post near San Antonio : said William Mudd yesterday, who de- lighted in talking and in impressing us with an idea that he was on intimate terms with people in command.
 "so. when the colonel approached, he asked: Can't you tell us in a confl- dental way if the United States is going to invade Mexico, and If so, what all the squawk is about?'
 'The colonel smiled moment, and glancing at us, winked Why sure l will tell you, said he We are going to war The United States is determined to make Mexico take you Texans back
 'The pompous individual laughed to save himself, but soon disappeared. And we saw him no more that day"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

After the little affair at Chicago will millions of voters at it's back.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

As a last resort New Workers can live on bananas waiterless city may be pushed to extremes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
EASY VICTIMS.

For years and years poor man went And hid his money in a sock Then later on spent every cent
 To purchase bogus mining stock Twas ever thus-the surest bait
 For gulls is that prospectus which Holds out to them the happy fate
 Of suddenly becoming rich.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
TOO scANT.

Raymond Hitchcock said at recent benefit performance that he felt like hobble slxirt-giving a good show and deceiving nobody. The hobble skirt may have something to conceal, but is incapable of doing so.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
RETRIBUTIoN.

Who still looks out for number one And thinks to play a selfish part, Shall carry till his days are done
 An empty heart, an empty heart.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
About Persons

The members of the state tax commits sion, J. Lee Long, John B. Powell dnd Judge A. A. Evans left for Montgomery yesterday afternoon. They will return Monday.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

Senator Kern says that res adJudicata thing is full of blow holes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08

exactly as it was run many hours later with every horse in his proper place at the winning post?
 There is on record the case of one such dreamer, who saw a race in which Iro- quois, Peregrine and Town Moor finished in the order named and exactly in this sequence they finished in the actual race the following dayl That seer" says a chronicler, twas the speed favorite of fortune. as on a previous occasion he e2Oo
 berwtch.' Of course he knew that there was no such race, but he was not long in solving the problem. Rosebery was to win both the Cambridgeshire and the Cesarewiteh, and, backing the horse for the double event, he put a few welcome hundreds into his pocket
 Of Caractacus's memorable Derby sim- liar story is told. A gentleman named Casson saw in a dream the race in which a bay horse Eon by inches after ter- rife struggle, and he heard the thunders of shouts which acclaimed the winner When he awoke, to his disgust he could not remember the name, rack his memory as he would. On glancing down the list of entries in his morning paper. however, there was the name staring him in the face. It was Caractacus. sa
 His friends to whom he told his strange story laughed at him. Why" they said, | "Caractaous is a hopeless outsider; they are laying 40 to against him." Never mind, he answered. T am going to risk a flyer on him all the same' And when Caractaeus, splendidly ridden by Parsons. the stable lad. snatched the Blue Rib and' by the margin Of neck amid a scene of frantic excitement, the laugh was with the dreamer as he pocketed his es2oO
 For the Derby of 1870 .MacGregor was prime favorite. No otherswas in the run ming with MT. Merys great horse; but when Swift, the jockey saw the race m dream the night before, MacGregor was a bad fourth, with the despised Kingeraft an easy winner Naturally when Swift told his dream story to his friends he was loudly jeered at for his pains; but, none the less. he raised every sovereign he could lay his hands on and put it on the outsider 2,
 The result is part of turf history. Mac Gregor, the marvellous galloper, seemed unable to move-he had been drigged be- yond doubt-and Kingcraft finished in a canter four lengths ahead of his nearest rival, with MacGregor hopeless fourth Swift is said to have ben e10oo the richer for his derlded vision of the night.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
PLAIN WORDS.

Why don't you try to make your self useful in the world 2. ~ " For what reason?"
 'Oh, chiefly because you can't pos- sibly be ornamental"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
THE TUMBLE.

went
 We saw him slip and reel. A word he dropped by accident Was his banana peel.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
IF HE FALLS. IT'S ENOUGH

Survival of the f1ttest''--
 Now, that's an old, old law. To prove 1t true thou hittest
 Thy neighbor on the jaw.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
-Washington Star.

The quickest route to fame he. took
 We saw him slip and ree1;a woman with naughty look
 Was his banana peel.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-06-08
GLOOM OVER ARKANSAS INDUSTRY

I'm sorry I can't. I'm the host