Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1912-05-15


who had come on q visit. Il don't take
to him at all!
"Why, the ideal" exclaimed her
granddaughter in surprise. "Mr. jar
gers is one of the most popular men
l know! He's asked everywhere and
il he pays any attention to girl eV-
cry one takes her up. OF course he's
older than just a mere boy, but I'm
sure he is well bred and entertaining
and--'
HE can be all that" interrupted
her relative, land even then sha'n't
want to welcome him as member OF
the family! It's because he reminds
me so of Artemus Milkins-1 guess
you never heard Of him. Artemus
was one of the best-looking young
men in two states and all the girls
were crazy about him. They were al
ways getting into quarrels over Arte'
mus, and they watched one another as
cats watch mice, waiting to see which
way they were going to jump, be-
cause they were SO afraid they'd get
beaten out when 1t came to marrying
him.
"Artemus must have had wonderful
endurance and a constitutional disre-
gard for sleep. for otherwise he never
could have stood up under all the din
ners and dances and balls and other
frivolities to which he was asked
Once when he had the grip and stay
ed away from O party it was just ruin
ed. for the girls all went home early
There wasn't a house in town where
the mother wasn't more than willing
to sit uD nights finishing her daugh'
ter's new frock if Artemus was going
to take the girl anywhere.
Naturally, after a few years the
first crowd OF girls gave up and mar
ried lesser lights, but there always
was a new crop of girls for Artemus
TO be the idol of, and, l tell you, they
burned incense!
HE kept getting handsomer, too
After a girl has been out ten years
she may he pretty and all that, but
she hasn't the charm Of youth that Is
so fetching. With a man it is differ
emit A man keeps right on being
sood-ooking and popular and wher
they begin calling him one OF the
bachelors it really adds tone to him
Fancy it's adding tone TO a girl when
they begin referring to her as one
of the older crowd,
Everybody wondered why Artemus
didn't marry and settle down, but
knew 1t was because he was having
too good time What's the use of ty'
inc Yourself down to one slave when
Won can Just as we'll have twenty OF
more?
well. for years and years Artemus
was our most popular bachelor. an IN
stitution. an aggravation, a sighed-for
prize. an ornament to our parties. His
decline was very gradual and unno'
ticcable. I don't think any Of us no
ticed it for a long time after Artemus
did. l presume when the tailor added
five inches to the girth of his new
dress suit waistband it made Artemus
sit I'D at last and take notice ano
think.
when n man thinks he grows sentt
mental. A!rtemus decided it was time
for him to get married He must
have enjoyed lining up the girls and
selecting the favored one, because ne
picked out the youngest and prettiest
of that years debutantes and very
gently and kindly Informed her that
she could marry him. You see. we
heard all about these things. because
nobody felt it a breach OF confidence
to talk about Artemus' doinss
at must have been a shock to Arte'
mus when lnez failed to burst into
tears of joy. Inez blushed and STAN
mered and said: No, thank you, in a
scared way and then glided from him
giggling. That might she told Tom
Flitt all about 1t as they sat IN the
hammock. Tom said, Why, the old
donkey. and kissed her Indignantly
"Artemus called next on Serena
Phipps. Serena was % and popular
but inclined to be highbrow. Arte'
mus remembered how she had looked
at him when she was IS and he re-
Hected that possibly his GOODNESS had
driven her. to economies and social re-
form. When he proposed to Serena
she regarded him as though he were
a bug. Then she told him frankly
that she wouldn't marry him because
he wasn't her ideal of man. and she
was no more in love with him than
she was with the weeping willow tree
outside, and would he please shut the
gate when he went out. so that the
dogs wouldn't trample the flower beds
There were Two after that, both
older than Serena Artemus seemed
to decide that years might bring more
appreciation of LIES blessings. Meth
er Of the two seemed to yearn for a
blessing in the shape OF Artemus'
One. of them had eyes that almost
crossed, too. Her refusal must have
oh hin,