Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-02-15

SdlOIl. NTaHOIna feEhtuS says SIZE
would think a salon was a dangerous
place to exhibit pictures as some fell
Ter might git soused and poke a hole
in 'em. She knows it 1t Is h same
sort OF a place, even though it is
spelled different.
Luke Tibbits spent nine years
a glass bottle and lost three wives
during the interim from washboard-
tits.
When some fellers want to get their
hat blocked all they have to do is to
put them on their heads.
When anybody wants to catch a train
on our railroad they wait until they
hear her whistle for the station, then
make their toilets. pack their grips and
walk to the depot, arriving In plenty Of
time before the train does.
III Miss Amy Pringle, our village mill
liner. doesn't get d husband during the
coming year, 1t will be her own fault.
The trouble is every time Amy tries to
spring the leap year gag. she finds out
that the Teller is already married.
TIE Teller with nine old maid daugh-
ters living at home is looking forward
10 the coming year with pleasant an
ticipations.
Miss Pany Tibbitts has hopes that
her Teller is all right, after all. The
ring he gave her Christmas amt turned
green yet.
Hank Tumms has succeeded in trad
in off all of his Christmas presents ex-
ceptin' the neckties. Neckties are like
corns. Every Teller has got eight or
Among the members of the great
leisure class of this count must be
numbered the husbands of the china
painters.
Elmer Sphinx has started In maxim
a burnt wood picture for Miss Pansy
Tibbitt's birthday present, but has let
1T be noised around that If she makes
eyes at my travelin' men during the
year, somebody else will be the fair
recipient OF the same.
The young fellers that got a lot OF
impossible neckties for Christmas
should save .'em up until after they
get married. After a Teller is married
he doesn't care what he wears.
Our idea of having a good time is
going to an afternoon reception and
conversatzione. where the subject UNI
der discussion is Maeterlinck's I'm
iuence Upon Modern Drama"
FAME.
Professor Archibaldus Mutt was quite
unknown to Fame until
He found a little microbe on a twenty
thousand dollar bill.
The papers used his portrait and the
lecture managers got wise
<1A10 oi6AACO lilIIl up lOE QICGG0 wears.
agreeing that he was q prize.
When this engagement had expired
with no more lecture dates to fill
Professor Mutt was not dismayed, but
just went into vaudeville.
Life SANG for him a dismal tune.
And so he thought he'd try his hand
at-getting up a owe balloon.
He built the thing and advertised that
he vas just about to fly
Around the world. a wondrous feat
that no man yet had dared to try.
He vas profusely Interviewed. His
name was heard on every lip.
He went out %lecturing and then from
time to time postponed the trip.
Whenever interest seemed to lag once
more he would prepare to o
He'd fly five miles and then come back
and lecture for a year or more.
rss Maize Smith found life was tame.
She Travelled with a burlesque show.
For she was just a chorus girl-one
of a long N tiresome row
She bribed a fellow passenger to kiss
her in a trolley car.
The papers played the thing up big.
The managers made her a star.
Her name is on the theater. spelled
out in incandescent lights.
And Maize now is the waxing high on
IS. r. o." one hundred nights.
Just now she is the bowling rage. Her
luck is quite beyond
It's said that she is now ngage to
wed a Pittsburgh millionaire.
Erasmus Perkins thought he'd like to
grab some notoriety.
He recommended "Pilkins' Pills" and
now his smiling face you see
In all the papers round about and he's
the lion of the town.
There are a thousand easy ways to
jump into a quick renown.
With all the avenues to Fame wide
open. safe and sane and sure.
There's not a reason in the world why
anyone should be obscure.