davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
THRIVED ON MISFORTUNE.
A German Peddler Who Insuted the
Kaiser ard Got Rich.

- herman TeuQIeF VINO lnSultcC inc
Kaiser ard Got Rich.
A German hawker. Hans Bauer
meiSter. retired from business. having
nmasstl little fortune. According to
Paris contemporary. misfortune was
the foundation of his success. The
hawkcr's specially was the sale Of por-
traits Of the imperial family.
His mode of haranguing his audience
was something like this; Buy por-
trait of William l.. whose motto was,
I have no time to be wearied y
who'll buy this Frederick H.. whose
prayer was. Tea h me to suffer with
out complaining: "No not fail to
complete your collection and buy this
portrait of our great emperor, William
H.. whose favoritp phrase is, Augusta.
you pack YOUR trunks"
This last always brought down the
audience, and in time the police, in
another sense. Bauermeister was SEN
fenced to sixty days for lese majesty.
He did his time and on release re-
started his business. He sold his por-
traits with the old formula until he
came to that Of the kaiser. and then
he said, II have learned to my cost
that II Is not lawful to repeat what
he says SO often" The people were
just as well pleased, and the portraits
sold splendidly.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
ROMEO CAUGHT IN CHIMNEY
Curious Antics Of q Breton Lover
Arouse Excitement In Village
In Brittany.

This story comes straight from MOI.
laix, very modern place in Brittany
Our Romeo, like Chaucer's hero, was
caught in the chimney. He was 60
ing to his sweetheart. Instead OF run
ming away from her. The pretty
Juliette was a distance Of some seven
miles from his home. The enamored
Romeo tramped 1t on foot all that
distance. At night he reached the
house, and called, but got no answer.
AS the door was shut he decided to
try the roof. On the roof he found
the chimney, and 1t seemed to him
that was quite wide enough to let him
down. He descended for some dis
lance, but then. as he came near the
fireplace, the chimney narrowed. he
slipped and got In narrow neck,
Here he was caught, unable to move
up or down. Before long he felt a
suffocating sensation. If the thing
lasted much longer 1t would be the
end of him. He could stand 1t no
more. After grooming he yelled, and
he beloved so we'll that not only was
his sweetheart disturbed In her slum'
bers. but the whole village was ex'
cited.
The nearest chimney.sweep was
called, but he could not help him out.
The gendarmes woke up the mayor,
and he, with all the notables of the
place, went to look. They consulted
among them. and the only way to
liberate the captive lover was to pull
down part of the chimney This was
done by some masons, and he was
presently released. but before being
allowed his freedom a police report
was drawn up. with a view to infiict-
ing a series of fines for breaking Into
a private Enclosure, damaging other
peoples property, waking up the au-
thorties unnecessarily. and causing a
public scandal. Poor Romeo was very
sad when 1t was all over.-Paris Cor
respondence London TIE. egraph.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
WRONG DIAGNOSIS is MADE
Physician, After Careful Examination
Of Patient, Prescrlbes Fresh
Air for Aviator.

He was i'll, or at least said that he
was. and the other day he entered the
house of a well-known physician and
sank into a leather-covered armchair
In the ante-room waiting his turn on
the list.
At las: it came, and the doctor ex-
amined his tongue critically, felt his
rulse, inquired as to the symptoms OF
lis illness. and then looked wise.
Taking a pad from the table he wrote
Il rrescri' ton calling for bread pills
end distilled water, or something of
that sort. Then. turning in his chair,
the physician said, II cannot say any
thing serious is the matter with you.
What you need is plenty of air."
The patient smiled broad, bland
smile, but said nothing.
Take this prescription regularly
every night, but above all things get
plenty of air. Good. wholesome, out.
door atmosphere, that is what you
need more than anything else"
"Ha, ha. ha! need air, do II"
shouted the man. well, that Is
funny"
"Why, what do you mean?" in.
quired the doctor.
Mean? Why I'm an aviator"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
Dryino STRING Beans.

Select young, tender, stringless
beans. wash them. cut off the stem
and blossom ends, cut in one-inch
lengths, ard rut them on plates or
trays prepared for the purpose. Cover
with net to protect them from flies.
and put to dry in a strong current Of
"ir. Stir occasionally while drying.
When thoroughly dried, put into in.
ect-proof bags, tie securely and keep
in a dry, well ventilated place for flu.
ture use. Some think beans are i'm.
proved by steaming them short time
before putting them to dry. Try both
ways, and decide for yourself which
suits you better. BY putting few to
dry each time bears are prepared for
the table, a good supply may be pre-
served with very little trouble.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
SECURING GOOD
SUPPLY OF ICE
Small Cement House Makes Excel
lent Storage Room Build.
ing Could be Built
Cheap1y.

Start the next summer right BY
having your own ice. Unless you do,
you will have to pay ice bills, or, II
you can't get ice, hang the milk and
butter in the well--both of which are
unhappy chores.
Put up your own ice. A small
cement house, cheaply made, Is just
the thing in which to store 1t. This
aouse will last longer and keep the
Ice better than frame building OF
the same construction, says G. M.
Pratt, architect with the Kansas
State Agricultural college.
Either blocks or cement poured IN
large molds can he used. The mix
ture should be rich enough that the
walls will not be porous, Two thin
walls REINFORCED with rods protected
from rust and separated by a three
inch air space gives the best combi-
nation. II blocks are used, large
cores will save material and keep the
temperature more even,
For an average family building
10 by 20 feet anG IL feet high Is y
good size. 1t does not store more
than two families can use. Ice keeps
better when stored in such quaint.
ties, says VI Pratt.
Such a hui ding could be built for
$50. A ne!"1 Dorhood could build
one a little l,r~er that would do for
all and t. individual expense would
be lessened
The ice house may be filled from
nearby streams as soon as they have
frozen to a good thickness.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
Apparatus for Finding Water.

The hazel twig as a water finder has
been supplanted by remarkable in.
vention. consisting OF simple ap.
paratus The principle on which the
instrument works is the measuring OF
the strength of electric currents
between the earth and the atmos.
pierre These are always strongest In
the vicinity of subterranean water
courses, the flowing waters Of which
are charged with electricity to GER
tain degree. The apparatus takes
the form Of box-shaped instrument
fixed on a tripod, with dial on which
a needle Is used to indicate the pres.
ence of water. If the needle remains
stationary 1t may be taken for grant
ed that no subterranean spring ex-
lists; the spot where the greatest
movement of the needle is obtained Is
that where well boring operations
should be made.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
THE THING TO REMEMBER.

A reply very characteristic of the
statesman and diplomat who made II
Is given in the Autobiography of AL
fred Austin" Lord and Lady Sails.
bury were among the guests at Hew.
ell Grange. Lord Salisbury had come
to speak at public meeting. On
the morning Of the day when the
speech was to be delivered, seeing
Lord Salisbury passing into the study,
l said to him: II suppose you are
going to think over what you will say
tonight?" mo" he said, In his iron.
ical way, rather to think over what
I must not say..".
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
AUSTRALIAN BLACKBERRY IS
ADAPTED TO ALL CLIMATES
FERRIES Have Which Are Small and Is One Oh
faest Shippers on N1arket-They Ripen Early Enough
for All Purposes and Continue Until Frost
No Crop More Profitable.

err of this berry has enabled me to dis
cover a method by which ten tons OF
berries per acre may be grown, and
averaged year after year. No crop
could be more profitable. Some PEG.
pie are inclined to think that the Giant
Himalaya, and Oregon everbearing.
and the Australian Himalaya Black
berry are all the same variety but the
Australian strain of blackberries are
entirely distinct from the other two
and while the Giant and Oregon ever.
bearing may do we'll In Oregon they
are almost worthless in California AZ
they are soft small and seedy and I'M
fit for market.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
USE OF WORDS.

Now, 1t cannot be too clearly under.
stood that, in science. technical terms
are names arbitrarily assigned, like
Christian names to children. There
can be no question of the names be.
ing right or wrong. They may be ju.
dicious or injudicious; for they can
sometimes be SO arranged as to be
easy to remember. or SO as to sug.
gest relevant and important ideas.
But the essential principle involved
was quite clearly enunciated in Won.
derland to Alice by Humpty Dumpty,
when he tod her, apropos of his use
of words, 81 pay them extra and
make them mean what like" A. N
Whitehead in IAN Introduction to
Mathematics"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
KEEPING UP APPEARANCES.

A typical aristocrat was the first
Marquis of Abercorn. He died in
1918, but is still revered in Ulster un'
der the name of 1.-The Ovid Marquis"
This admirable nobleman always
went out shooting in his blue rib
bon, and required his housemaids to
wear white kid gloves when they
made his bed. Before he married his
first cousin, Miss Cecil Hamilton, he
induced the prince regent to confer
On her the titular rank Of an earl's
daughter, that he might not marry be-
meath his position; and, when he dis.
covered she contemplated clipping, he
sent message begging her to take
the family coach, as 1t ought never
to be said that Lady Abercorn left
her husbands roof in hack chaise.
Collections and Recollections. (By
One Who Has Kept Daryl
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
Not Hlttinu the Pressman,

The complaint editor was trying to
pacify an indignant contributor who
was scolding him through the tele-
phone.
1--WE printed your communication
the day after it was received" he
said.
81 didn't see it and I looked all
through the paper"
1T was on the page where we al
ways run such things. Didn't you
notice blur at the bottom of the
fifth column that you couldn't make
anything out Off"
Eyes"
well, that was It,"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
Cooueijn Made the Audience Wait.


The architect Rinet was il TREND of
the elder toqnelin. He Delighted TO
speak of n performance OF "Cyrnno
DE- Bprgprnc' IN winch he went Ia
praise the genial actor IN ms drpSSln"
room bet wppn acts
Il admire you above an. he said
to the actor. Tin the couplets OF the
Cadets OF tinstDny
At that nlomenl word came to toIur
lin that the curtain was rising tor the
next act.
Wait wait" exclaimed to,llleln
Leave me mere alone win Rinet
INV friend he sad to the architect,
ut Is with pleasure that am nov
going TO rrppal the passage which mas
pleased you For me your approDn
ton IN worth more than the plnudllS
of the whole house
And while the audience waited NJ
gave anew for Binet alone the Cadets
OF Gascony. "-Cri de Paris.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01

poses. They ripen early enough for
all purposes (about the eighth of July
and continue until frost and do not
grow so much of the fruit inside the
mass of vines causing tedious picking,
but every spring they send out long
latterals or fruit stems all projecting
outside, and hanging down on each
side of the rows, loaded with berries
that are a pleasure to pick, and last
but not least, they will yield three
tons of berries per acre when only one
year old and ever after that will
more than double the yield of
any other berry grown. The extern
sive experience have had as a grow
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
THE WEAK ONES,

Police Chief Sehactian was talking
about a married man who had fallen
before the charms of the beautiful
"fiirt catcher"
George was always weak" said the
chief "Once, wh.n he was a boy at
school, his mother was apologlzing for
him to his school teacher.
George is SO easily led,' the moth
er said.
YES the teacher agreed-'except
In the right direction
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
Easily Told.

ITO what tune are the public at pres.
ent dancing?"
Considering the proximity of Christ.
mas, should say it was the turkey
trot."
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
keepinu BOYS at Home.

If we would keep the boys at home
we must meet the demands for them
that come from the cities. We must
give them chance to make money
for themselves and broaden their op.
portunities for enjoying everything
good in life within their reach.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
Recrimination.

He-My dear, you spend too much
money in false hair. Look at your
puffs.
SEe-And you spend too much mon.
ey In cigars. Look at your puffs.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01

or strike it violently with stick,
after making sure that the wasps are
at home.
1.-THE site Of the sting became excess
sively painful and swollen" reports
DR.. Morris in telling Of man who
cured himself Of influenza in this very
way. IAN hour later the symptoms Of
Influenza subsidized rapidly, and three
hours later the patient felt perfectly
we'll, with a hearty appetite for his
dinner. This relief from the influenza
continued for two days. during the
time when reaction from the sting OF
the wasp was most intense. On the
subsistence Of the Inflammation of the
leg on the third day symptoms of In.
fluenza again reappeared, and while
not as marked as previously, persist
ed for fortnight"
Bee stings have been used for the
cure Of rheumatism, and In some parts
of the country bee keepers receive a
fee from rheumatic patients for sys-
tematic applications of bee stings.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01

aId covered with little straw II the
sun is very hot. In frost or cold
weather, which often occurs in France
in the spring, a bell glass is placed
over each plant. Ill very warm wealth.
er the plants are watered more FIRE
quently. Tle skin of the squashes
shown in the illustration Is so very
tender that they must be handled and
packed carefully in baskets for trans
port to shops and restaurants Of the
large cities.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
Spoiljnu the Fun.

"A Georgia judge says it Is unlaw.
full to kill an umpire"
THAT will be sad news for anybody
with drop of sporting blood In his
veins"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
THE NEW CHINA.

In the province of the lower Yang.
Use, where, Marco Polo declared dis.
PAINFULLY, there was scarcely to be
seen man-at-arms. there are now
young men training, by gymnastic ex.
ercises and drill. for the coming strug.
gle.
"Soon," SO runs one Of their mill.
tary marching songs, soon. chiefs
will lead millions Of young men
whose battalions will crush Europe
and America From Les Dcfniers
Barbares. by Commandant d'Ollone.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01

French gardeners SOW pumpkins
and squashes in April in hotbeds
beds and finally t. the open grounG
in May. Several days before thu
plants are set out the holes are dug
at a distance of one to two yards
according to the variety. These hole:
are then filled with thoroughly rotte
manure, mixed with a little potas
fertilizer and covered with soil. TIL
, oung plants are watered frequently
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01

L. Morris Of New
York writes about
in the current is-
sue of the Medical
r e cord. Briefly
stated If you have
Influenza walk out
to the nearest nest
of yellow jackets
III vaI IL
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-02-01
HARSH CURE FOR INFLUENZA
Sting of the Yellow Jacket viii Cause
Symptoms Of Disease to
Subside.

There is a new cure for influenza
which DR.. Robert T. Morris Of New
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-05-03
This Is My ooh Birthday
Archbishop Prenderqast.

Most Rev. Edmund F. Prendergast.
archbishop of Philadelphia, was born
in Clonmell, Tipperary, Ireland, May
3. 1843. He came to the nited States
in 1859 and studied for the Catholic
priesthood at the seminary of st.
Charles Borromeo, in Philadelphia. He
was ordained in 1865 and was assigned
as assistant at St. Pauls church in
Philadelphia. He served in various
charges in eastern Pennsylvania until
1874, when he was made rector of st.
Malachy's church Sin Philadelphia
Fourteen years ago he was made auxil
iary bishop OF Philadelphia, and sever
al years later Archbishop Ryan ap-
pointed him administrator Of the arch
diocese, to take effect at the death
OF the archbishop. Upon the death of
Archbishop Ryan year ago Bishop
Prendergast succeeded him as an
archbishop and metropolitan of Penn
sylvania.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-05-03
Heart toHeart
Talks.
HOLDING THE PUTTY.
BY EDWIN A. NYE.

Take care lest you handicap your son.
There's man inside Of him-if you
can get the man out Of him. And man
hood is made by putting flesh and
blood up against the sharp corners Of
life.
Cruel? 1t is effective.
Is it your aim to shield your boy
from the hardships you knew when
you were boy? That is a natural de-
sire, but in carrying it out you may
coddle your boy and weaken his char
acter.
For instance:
You let the chap sleep late while his
mother keeps the breakfast warm for
him, and he comes downstairs to find
fault with his food. Look out! You are
pampering that boy. You are padding
things to give him an easy impact. =.
Which may be fatherly.
But very unwise.
Because you are taking away his
chance to become a man. You let him
spend money he does not earn. You
make the going easy instead of hard.
He ought to strive against odds. He
ought to work to win.
How shall he learn to swim without
going into the water?
You want to save him from suffering,
but suffering perfects character.
If your boy is to know the worth Of
a dollar he must earn it; If he is to
know the thrill of success be mus,
win it.
And mark this:
Your boy can never get into touch
with those who strive if he does not
himself go through struggle. Lacking
the struggle, he lacks sympathy With
those who contend. And without per
sonal touch and sympathy with other
folk your boy cannot be the man
among men that he ought to be.
Hard lines?
Even so. 1t is hard lines for you, my
friend, and for me, and for all Of US
but it is the way By which we get
fiber and forcefulness.
The world will give no man place un
less he climbs up to get it. Would you
keep your boy fromaclimbing, perforce
because he must blister his hands on
the rounds of the ladder?
Please remember
Your boy is made of the same sort OF
putty you are made of. You were mold
ed into what success you have achieved
while the putty was soft.
When the putty of which your boy is
made begins to harden 1t is too late tC
try to mold Ii.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-05-03
Cleaning Day.

Richmond
the
tied
a oil a
citizen blush Rich
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-05-03
DlSRAELI AS A SON.
His Generosity In Becoming Recon-
ciied to His Father.

His Generosity In Becoming Recon-
ciied to His Father.
Lord Dufferin used to tell the follow.
ing story about his mother and Dis.
raeli
My mother was among the first Of
Disraeli's acquaintance to recognize
his great ability. and she saw a great
deal OF him when at Mrs. Norton's,
when he was a young man about town.
She did not see very much of him after
he had once entered upon his political
career Here, however, is little anec-
dote which is very characteristic and
amusing. My mother had a great ad-
miration for the "Curiosities of Litera-
ture" and was anxious to make the ac-
quaintance of Disraeli's father, but
there was a difficulty about this, as at
the moment he was not on good terms
with his father.
However, he appeared one day with
his father in tow. As soon as they
were both seated Disraeli turned around
and, looking at his father as If he were
q piece of ornamental china, said to
my mother: Madam, I have brought
you my father. I have become recon.
ciled to my father on two conditions.
The first was that he should come to
see you and the second that he should
pay my debts"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-05-03
FIRST AERIAL POST.

Il Was Used In China. and a Wild
Goose Was the Carrier.
The ancient records Of China reveal
the fact that our aerial post was fore
stalled some thousands of years ago.
aptly enough by Celestial. 1t is true
that the first postal air man was an
aquatic fowl. and to this day the post
in China is referred to as 1.-The con-
venience Of the wild goose" and pic
lures Of that bird still appear on GER
tain stamps.
The legend tells US that a Tartar
chief was offensive to the Chinese en-
peror. who sent a special envoy to
warn him. But the chief took the en-
perors servant prisoner and made him
shepherd to his focks. In this condi-
ton Of social degradation the unfor-
tunate envoy languished for some
years until one day he captured wild
goose and his mind was Ilumined by
the bright idea Of using it to carry
news of his whereabouts to his friends.
With letter secured to its leg. the
Samaritan goose few southwark until,
virtue meeting its customary reward.
It was killed in the grounds Of the
palace by no less parsonage than the
emperor himself. The letter was read.
and punitive expedition rescued the
captive and punished the rebel chief
Pearson's Weekly.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-05-03
NO MORE MISERY FROM INDIGESTION, GAS
< OR A SICK, SOUR, DEORDERED STOMACH.

different-you are stomach sufferer,
though you may call it by some other
name: your real and only trouble is
that which you eat does not digest,
but quickly ferments and sours, pro-
ducing almost any unhealthy condi-
ton.
A case of Pape's Diapepsin will cost
fifty cents at any Pharmacy here. and
will convince any stomach sufferer
five minutes after taking single dose
that Fermentation and Sour Stomach
is causing the misery of Indigestion.
No matter il you call your trouble
Catarrh of the Stomach. Nervousness
or Gastritis, or by any other name
always remember that a certain cure
lis waiting at any drug store the mo.
ment you decide to begin Its use.
Pape's Diapepsin will regulate any
out-of-order Stomach within Eve min.
utes, and digest promptly. without any
fuss or discomfort, all of any kind OF
food you eat
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-05-03
Divorce Reforms.


his
a
dant had entered into agreement to divorce
in
in
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-05-03
Relief in five minutes awaits
every Stomach sufferer
here

If your meals don't fit comfortably,
or you feel bloated after eating, and
you believe it is the food which fills
you; Ii what little you eat hes like a
lump of lead on your stomach; if there
is difficulty in breathing after eating.
erucations of sour, undigested food
and acid, heartburn, brash or a belch-
ing of gas, YOU can make up your mind
that you need something to stop food
fermentation and cure Indigestion.
To make every bite of food you eat
aid in the nourishment and strength
of your body. you must rid your Stom-
ach of poisons. excessive acid and
stomach gas, which sours your entire
meal-interferes with digestion and
causes so many sufferers of Dyspep-
STA, Sick Headache. Billiousness, Con-
stipation, Gripping, etc Your case Is no