davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
ADVICE TO EMBRYO POETS
First Efforts Should Not He Directed
to Subjects That Would Test
Genius

Ear. far is it from our wish or In
tention TO hurt anybodys feelings. but
We do wish TO state. very, very gently,
that one of the most difficult tasks
real poet. experienced and skilled In
the practice of his art. could under
take, would be to write an adequate
and fitting poem on the loss of the I'll
tanic. 70. anyone else TO attempt it
IS to invite inevitable, failure, and fail
ure OF a kind that-well. of a kind
that it would be unkind, in the cireum.
stances. TO characters.
To be deeply and sincerely moved
is one OF the requisites for writing
noble verse about q tragic episode in
human history. but II is far from be
ing the only requisite. and. with all
respect for their emotions and inten-
tions. we would suggest that those
who have only a desire to express
what they feel in regard to this calam-
itous event should do it otherwise than
in verse. At least they should not
try TO get the verse printed, for by SO
doing they place upon the winnowers
of metrical offerings the always pain
full duty to be cruelty kind,
Surely, surely, surely. a first effort
to write poetry should not be en- a
subject that would test all the powers
of a long-tested genius.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
LITTLE CHANCE TO ovEREA!
Kentuckian Visits Grill Room of New
York Hotel and Has Hearty
Breakfast.

After his brother had been in New
York a little more than year, Ken
tuckian decided TO pay him visit,
Hoping to surprise his brother, the
Kentuckian did not apprise his broth
er OF his intentions Arriving at nine
o'clock in the morning, he asked to
be directed to a good eating house.
The taxicab pilot steered his course
for the largest. eostliest and most
fashionable hotel grillroom on Broad
way.
Being a stranger in a strange land
and hungry, the Bluegrass brother or
dered a regular home meal. When he
got the check from the waiter its
size staggered him. He wasn't &C
customed to New York hotel prices
After verifying the correctness of
his bill at the cashiers desk and be-
ing insulted by the waiter for tipping
him twenty-five cents. the visitor
started out to look for his brother.
whose office he found about one
o'clock.
In response to his inquiry as to his
brothers. whereabouts, clerk said:
He's over at Blanks hotels new
grillroom."
GO slow, friend. only millionaire
could overeat at the Blank hotel !
know, because | had breakfast there
myself this morning"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
TIE SAFE LAXATIVE
FOR ELDERLY PEOPLE

Most elderly people are more or
less troubled with chronic. per-
sistent constipation. due largely to
lack of sufficient exercise. They ex.
perience difficulty in digesting even
light food. With a consequent belching
OF stomach gases. drowsiness after
eating. headache and feeling of lassi-
tude and general discomfort.
Doctors advise against catharties and
violent purgatives of every kind, rec
ommending mild, gentle laxative
tonic. ike DR.. CaldwelPs Syrup Pepsin.
to effect relief without disturbing the
entire system.
Dr. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin is the
perfect laxative. easy in action, GER
tain in effect and, withal, pleasant to
the taste. 1t possesses tonic proper
ties that strengthen the stomach. liver
and bowels and is remedy that has
been for years the great standby in
thousands of families. and should be
in every family medicine chest 1t is
equally as valuable for children as for
older people,
Druggists everywhere sell Dr. Cald-
wells Syrup Pepsin in 50S md 800
bottles. If you have never tried it
send your name and address to DR.. W.
B. Caldwell, 201 Washington St. Mon
ticello, ILL.,, and he will be very glad to
send sample bottle for trial
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

meat to correspond is greater than is
the case with beef or mutton. Heads,
horns and hides are also valuable, and
the net return from one animal would
be $3.50 or more.
Deer and elk become very tame
when kindly treated and given little
salt or corn from the hand.
AN important fact is that the bust
ness can be engaged in by the small
est land owner with very little equip
ment, while it is also capable OF ex.
tension If capital is available One
hundred and sixty acres can be fenced
for 5000 for elk and slightly more for
deer Even in paddock, with shelter
and food. the business can be success
fully prosecuted.
''In and around the Yellowstone
park there are some $4,000 elk. Their
summer range is in the mountains, but
at the beginning of winter they seek
the plains where they formerly found
ample food to carry them through the
winter In recent years most OF this
land as been taken up by farmers
and the elk find It fenced and hay
stacks guarded and there is nothing
to save them from starvation. I'm.
mense numbers have miserably died
in this way.
"Meager appropriations have recent
ly been made by State of Wyoming to
feed them. but this has not proved al
together successful and there is still
untold suffering and waste. It has
been suggested that some of these elk
should be transported to other ranges
or put on private estates where they
will be cared for. Divided up among
the states they would soon become
source OF profit. While in this pres
emit condition they only excite pity
and are practically useless.
"A large private herd in Montana
has recently been sold in Italy. where
they will be set at liberty on pre-
serves in the mountains of the north.
MANY American elk have been sent
to England and the continent OF Eu-
rope where they have been crossed
with the European breeds. which has
very much improved them"
The bill provides that anyone de-
SlrlnR 10 engage III tue idl5iuE VI pSiA
ing of domesticated American elk,
white tail. red fallow deer. roebuck
or any species of deer in an inclosed
preserve may do so upon receiving a
license from the state game warden.
The license fee is fixed at FIVE dollars
TO be retained by the game warden.
who upon being satisfied with the
good faith of the applicant shall issue
breeders license.
The license. it is provided, shall give
the breeder the right to raise and sell
for breeding purposes all species OF
deer or kill the animals at any time
and to sell the carcasses for food.
When the preserve is located in Wash
ington. Allegheny or Garrett counties.
the bill provides that white tail deer
killed upon the preserve shall bear
a distinctive mark to show that the
animal was domesticated. A fine of
$50 and forfeiture OF the license is i'm
posed for failing to place a distinctive
mark
IL is also provided that the preserve
shall be fenced in manner approved
by the game warden.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
LOSING a kinq.

One of our naval officers tells Of an
incident that occurred when an Ameri-
can war vessel was lying at anchor
in a European port, on which ocea-
sion it was visited by monarch and
his suite.
One of the members of this suite,
resplendent in gold lace and decora-
tions, with a big sword at his side and
sporting huge Inustache, was explor-
ing the ship. and, being ignorant of
things nautical, Lad leaned against the
main-hatch windsail, mistaking it for
mast. OF what ensued the officer Of
the deck was informed by the boat
swain's mate, who had seen the catas-
trophe and who broke the news Of it
thus:
You will excuse me, sir. but ! think
one of them kings has fell down the
main hatch sir 49, Harper's Magazine.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
FACING A FAMINE.

An untimely biting frost effectually
completed the mischief done earlier
by the insect enemies of Mr.. Barden's
potatoes. The tops of the plants,
which had served as pasturage for the
pests, were entirely destroyed, and
with them Mr. Barden's hopes Of a
crop. He was not selfish, however.
and could think Of others in the hour
of adversely. Going to town in the
afternoon, he was accosted at the post
Office by James Hayes, an intimate
acquaintance.
Hello. Gilesl How's everything up
to the corners?"
Trouble enough, Jim, trouble
enough" was the gloomy response.
"Ten million 'tater bugs aRd nothing
for EN- to eati"-Youth's Companion.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

table Compound. My husband said it
would restore my health and it has. -
Mrs. MAY WYATT, Ashland, KY.
There are probably hundreds of thou
sands of women in the United States
who have been benefited by this famous
old remedy, which was produced from
roots and herbs over thirty years ago by
a woman to relieve woman's suffering.
Read What Another Woman says:
Camden, N. III had female trou-
bic and a serious displacement and was
tired and discouraged and unableto do my
work. My doctors told me never could
be cured without an operation, but
thanks to Lydia E. Pinkham' Vegetable
Compound / am cured of that affection
and have recommended it to more than
one of my friends with the best results.
Mrs. ELLA JOHNSTON, 324 Vine st.
If you want special ADVICE write to
Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co. Conf
dentiaD Lynn, Mass. Your letter will
be opened, read and answered by q
woman and held In strict confidence.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

A couple of little newsies stood in
front of the Youngstown (O) Tele-
gram bulletin recently reading the
printed lines and making comments on
the press reports,
Gee. It says here at there's liable
to be some o troubles 18th Russia on
account oh de treaty" said one,
What's de difference?" said the
other. "Dis country don't need to
worry"
"Oh, don't know" said the first
speaker, lit might bring on war"
"Huh!" shifted the second boy I'm
Gle Sam could lick Russia wild de Sal
walton Army"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
Much Required Of PhxsIeIans.

In Beloochistan when a physician
gives a dose he Is expected to par
take OF similar one himself as a
guarantee OF his good faith. Should
the patient die under bis hands the
relatives. though they rarely exercise
It, have the right Of putting him to
death, unless a special agreement has
been made for freeing him from ali
responsibility as to consequences;
while, If they should decide upon I'm
violating him. be is expected to yield
IN bis fate Ike q man
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

NIT Gravel was forming and the
urine had almost stopped began
taking Doan's Kidney pills and after
using one box. passed stone half
an inch long. continued passing
smaller stones until forty had been
elected. recovered then and was
soon as well as ever"
when Your Back Is Lame. Rem ember
the Name-DOAN'S." SOC. all stores.
Foster-Milburn Co. Buffalo. ~ Y.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
The Difference.

There is such vast difference
between the ideal and the practical in
stage art" sighed the intellectual
young actor.
THE difference" replied the stolid
stage manager, "as lies between the
artistic role which leads to Already
and the fat part which leads to the
pork barrel"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
When Your Ewes Need Care

Try Murine Eye Remedy. No smarting--Fee
Fine--Acts Quickly. Try IL for Red, Weak,
Watery Eyes aud Granuiated Eyelids. Illus
trated Book I'm each Package. Murine is
compounded by our Ocusts- not a "Patent Med
icine"-but used In successful Physicians Pruc-
sice for many years. Now dedicated to the Pub
lie and sold by Druggists at Zoe and Toe per Bottle.
Murine Eye Salve In Aseptlc Tubes, 26c and bOc.
Murine Eye Remedy Co.. Chicago
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

ture. In bed for three
months with terrific
pain in my back, an
awful urinary weak
ness, dizziness. Der-
vousness and depres-
sion. I rapidly lost 45
pounds. My doctor
advised an operation
but I would not sub
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
cannibal Fishes and Humane People


While as a measure Of economy the
great majority Of all the fishes and
other creatures at the Aquarium are
fed on dead food, such as cut up fish,
or, as in the case of some of the
larger ones. small dead fish whole,
there are some Gshes which If they
are to be kept alive or in condition
must have live food such as they
would find in nature.
In their free state all fishes are
cannibals. This is the way of nature.
But among the visitors al the Aqua
riurn there are people who consider
the placing Of live little fishes in the
tanks to be devoured by bigger fish as
cruel and in Difference TO this feeling
the fishes that must be supplied with
live food are fed before the Aquarium
is opened in the morning and after IL
is closed at night.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
no Wavea.

A young mother who still considers
Marcel waves as the most fashionable
way Of dressing the hair was at work
on the job.
The precocious child WAS crouched
on its fathers lap, the baby fingers
now and then sliding over the smooth
and glossy which is fathers.
No waves for you, father" re-
marked the Little Che. "Ioune all
beach"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
Go. New wife.

"Wombat is working like a horse.
He used to be rather lazy. Why the
changer"
Hes under a new management His
latest wife needs lot of expensive
things"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
To Preserve Historic suIIdlno.

A movement has been started in
Frankfort. KY. to preserve the little
red brick" building on the old State
House square on account of its his
toric interest. The building now
standing is 90 years old. and Daniel
Boone. on the occasion Of visits to
Frankfort after it was erected, visited
the Offices on business. In two years
the building will be 100 years old. if
left standing, and is the oldest state
building in existence.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
A Quarter Century

Before the public. Over Five Million Free
Samples given away each year. The con-
slant and increasing sales from samples
proves the genuine merit OF Aliens Foot
Ease, the antiseptie powder TO be shaken
into the shoes for Tired, Aching, Swollen
Tender feet. Sample free Address, Allen
s. Olmsted. lie Roy. n. Y.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

with me. / had fe-
maleand kidney trou-
bic and was so bad off
/ could hardly rest
day or night. / doc
tored with all the
best doctors in town
and took many kinds
of medicine butnoth-
ing did any good I'M
til | tried your Won
derful remedy, Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vege-
Tr A--1 .sl "a
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

The woman who cares for a clean,
wholesome mouth, and sweet breath,
will find Paxtine Antiseptic a JOY for
ever. At druggists, 25c a box or sent
postpaid on receipt of price by The
Paxton Toilet Co.. Boston, Mass.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

Mrs. Hewligus, what is your hus.
bands attitude on the woman suffrage
question:
One foot IN the air, of course. He's
one OF the chronic kickers.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

They say mans wife often makes
him, but Bingle's wife will never be
able to put any push in that man."
Just you wait until she gets a
lawn-mower in his hands"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
Her ADVANTAGE.

81 should think Bugs made things
very uncomfortable for his wife when
be has a habit Of storming all over
the house"
What need she care how be storms.
ss long as she is reigning In it?'
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
Physicians Recommend Castoria

AST0RIA has met with pronounced favor the part physicians pama
~ cucal societies and medical authorities used by physicians with
results gratifying The extended Of Castoa unquesnahy the
result of three hos FTh indiputabe evidence that it is harmless:
sThat not only lays stomach pains and qie the but as
@ the ood T agreeable and perfect substitute for Castor Oil
absolutely SAFE does contain any Opium Morphine other narcotic
and does spe is unlike Soothing Sup Baemans Drops Gods
Cordial This good deal for Medical Joucl Our dty how
ever expose danger and record the advancing health The day
for poisoning innocent children through greed ignorance ought to end 10
knowledge Cao remedy which produces oOmpose health
regulating che symno by supplying i-and readers entitled to
the informnion.-HaLlS Journal of Reath.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

Coles Carnolisalve quickly relieves and
cures burning, itching and forturing skin
diseases. 1t instantly stops the pain of
burns. Cures without scars. Csc and soc
by druggists. For free sample write to
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
Economy In Atehison

An Atchison man is so economical
he won't go to a ball game unless he
gets pass to a double-header-
Atchison Globe.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
His weakness.

Howell see that Rowell has gone
into bankruptcy again.
Powell-Yes. failing is his failing.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

The most powerful remedy against
sudden starts OF impatience is sweet
and amiable silence,-St Francis de
Sales.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
FEARED AN OPERATION.

Found Wonderful Cure Without H.
James Greenman. 142 East Adams
ST.. Ionia. Mich, says: what / suf-
fered with kidney trouble can never
express. II was nothing short of tor.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

Garfield Tea helps humanity the world
over Taken for liver and kidney
troubles, billiousness and constipation.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

Patience is but lying to and riding
out the gale.-Beeeher.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

Mrs. wfnslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething. softens the gums, reduces infiamma-
ton, alIays pain. cures wind collie, CSC a bottle
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

What is really best for us lies al
ways within our reach. though often
Observation-Disclosures.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
hibernian.

Knicker-What is a stepless car?
Bocker-A step in the right Girec.
ton.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

Always meet people with smile-if
IT'S your treat
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

For cosuveness and sluggish liver try
the unrivaledherb remedy. Garfield Tea
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

Strike Breakers of Old.
Elijah was being fed by the ravens.
Il don't care if the walters do
strike" he boosted.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

The man who makes light of others
seldom sets the world on fire
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

Nothing surprises some people more
than the antics Of an alarm clock
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12
WIFE'S HEALTH
RESTORED
Husband Declared Lydia E.
Pinkharn's Vegetable
Compound Would Re-
store Her Health,
And 1t Did.

Ashland, KY. -Four years ago
seemed to have every thing the matter
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-06-12

Which vins2 Garfield Tea always wins
on its meritsas the best ofherb cathartics.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1912-01-05
HAVE NOT ENOUGH TO DO
People Like tho Inhabitants Of Pit
.eairn Island Really Deserve tho
Sympathy Of Others.

While most people are sorry for
those who have too much to do, for
my part I reserve my sympathy for
those who have too little to do. They
seem to me to have scarcely q fair
chance in the world. Their natures
are not properly taxed and tested,
trained and developed. They are sure
not to grow up to be among those who
are great, wise, good and famous in
the world. Now they are glad that
they are free from the ordinary cares
and activities of life. In the future
they will be sorry. Indeed. 1t may
help to kill them.
A traveller. who visited the Pitcairn
islanders in their lonely Pacific home,
where they led life Z absolute idle
ness, found some of them dying of old
age when only so or so years of age
time OF life when those who lead a
busy existence are in their prime.
They had too little to do. The rough
nDre OF life, for its due adjustment,
needs a certain amount of work and
worry.
TWO strangers met one day at
country village. where both had come
In search of rest. One was q news
paper man. the other a physician. In
the morning, the newspaper man lay
lazily on the grass, picking buttercups
and daisies and looking at the blue
SKY He did this for an hour, while
the physician watched him. Medi .al
men have trick Of watching their
lelloW-creatursB. We are open books
for them to read.
You seem, SIR" said the physician,
ITO be rather fond Of lying on the
grass and picking daisies"
i have passion for It," was the
answer. II should like to spend my
life lying here. picking daisies"
And yet" was the rejoinder, 81
have an idea that you are a man who
leads pretty active life-that you
take q good deal of interest In other
matters besides the picking OF daIs-
les"
Yes. work great deal more thSn
Ike and should be glad to quit
and would choose to rest here on my
back forever. with nothing in the
world to do"
DO you know, sir, what would be
the result of that?"
Well, what would It be?"
1T would probably be an attack of
paralysis. To stop work would prob.
ably end your existence"
Often people have too little to do in
early life. They have seasons Of much
holiday and glorious leisure. Then
comes the long stretch OF life, with
hard work; and they too late regret,
now when they have too much to do,
that they did not take advantage OF
the time when they bad too little 70
do
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1912-01-05
chIvaIrous New Workers.


New York." said an ex-Washing-
tonian. has always been held up to
me as a place where chivalry was
largely forgotten in the race for ma
terial things. but I'm of a different
opinion after what witnessed the 9TH
er night. A woman boarded a Sew
enth avenue car at the Pennsylvania
station, carrying baby with one arm
and with the other a large suit case
to which was strapped a violin and a
sword. A queer mixture it was. At
Forty-second street when she started
to get out to take the subway the
conductor without saying a word STOP
ped his car. picked up all her belong.
ings except the baby and carried them
to the sidewalk. There another man
who had been on the car picked them
up and carried them down the stairs
and on to train. Then at Seventy
second street. when she got out to
change for an express. II a man sitting
next to her didn't grab her luggage
and carry 1t aboard the express train
| left the train before she did, but
I'll be willing to bet that she got
some help before she got home. And
this was New York"