davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
Soil Enouah.

Vincent Astor, at a luncheon in
New York, praised the neatness Of
the American mans dress.
I'm the past, have been told" he
said, "the American was careless-a
little careless as to shaving, polish
ing his boots, and brushing his
clothes. But he is now as neat as his
English brother, who is acknowledged
to be the neatest man on earth.
"Apropos of the unbrushed clothes
of the past, there was an actor of the
old school type who appeared one
morning on the Rialto with red rose
In his dingy coat
"'Where do you suppose / got this p
he asked another actor, lifting his
lapel proudly.
"'Oh, dear knowsl' the other an
swered, determined to escape mash
tale. Dear knows-unless 1t grew
there"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
Saved By His Wife.

Shes a wise woman Who knows
Just what to do when her husbands
life is il danger, but Mrs. R. j.
Flint, Braintree, VT, is of that kind.
''She irsis ed on my using DR.. Kings
New Discovery" writes Mr.. F. "for
a dreadful cough, when l was so
weak nv friends all thought l had
only short time to live, and it COM
pletely cured me-" A quick cure
for coughs and colds, it's the most
safe n 4 reliable medicine for many
throat 2n lung troubles-g r i p +,
brortri'is, Group, whooping cough.
quinsy, tonsilitis. hemorrhages. A
trial will convince you. so cts. and
$1.00. Guaranteed by all druggists.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
Pic or Coon Terrier,

William Haynes tells an amusing
story of the Scottish terriers appear
Rnce in Outing. He says:
81 always smile when / think of an
experience a Scottie and / had when
was at the university. The dramatic
club was presenting one of Pinero's
farces, and was lucky enough to be
playing the part CT a young scape-
grace. In one of the acts, used to
take Scottie on the stage, and when
not before the footlights she mounted
guard in my dressing room-inciden-
tally, she made things very uncom-
Portable for one of the ladies of the
company who came, in my absence,
to borrow a filling Of tobacco for his
pipe.
zone time 1 came back to my room
to find it in an uproar. Two stage
hands were plunged deep IN discus
sion as to whether Betty was a dog,
or a tame bear cub, a debate that was
quite seriously complicated by a third
stoutly maintaining that she was a
coon. They had long since passed
the retort courteous stage and were
almost at blows, and l doubt that I
could have convinced them, had she
not spoken for herself-her bark
being conclusive proof of her dog
hood"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
JUDGE CHANGED HIS MIND Fussy MAN MAKES PROTEST
chico Kid Of New Mexico Did Not Pro
pose 70 Have Fine I'm
posed.

Broadway heard with some surprise
that II. A. Du Souchet. the author Of
THE Man From Mexico" is a candi-
date for justice Of the peace in the
hamlet in which he pays taxes In New
Jersey. Why he should want to be a
Jersey justice has the big street
guessing. The diverse Of the propo-
sition is the wonder why Jersey
should want him to be a justice.
Away back in 1875" said one of the
old-timers, "Du Souchet was justice
of the peace down on the New Mexico
line. In those days tarantulas and In
dams were the chief native products
of that region. Residents wore their
guns handy, and train robbery was
considered a profitable and not dis
oreditable form of speculation. One
day the Chico Kid, being very drunk,
insisted on being arrested. The mar
shall didn't want to arrest Mr.. Kid, but
the latter insisted.
"T wanna plead guilty to drunken
ness and disturbin' thuh peace" said
the Kid to Justice Du souchet.
81 will have to fine began Du
Souchet
'WhatY howled the Kid. Fine
me? Why, you pin cared, yaller liv-
cred, pigeon toed ole maverick. there
amt enough justices in New Mexico
to make me pay fine. T.
But Justice Du Souchet interrupted
him urbanely.
I was about to say said he, that
I will have to find time to get real
well acquainted with you, Mr. Kid. In
the meantime, suppose we go and
have drink New York Letter to
the Cincinnati Times-StaE.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
Dumb ChiIls and Fever.

Douglasville. Tex. Five years
ago was caught in the rain at the
wrong time" writes Miss Edna
Rutherford. Of Douglasville. "and
from that time was taken with dumb
chills and fevers. and suffered more
than can tell. | tried everything
that I thought would help. and had
four different doctors, hut got no
relief. so / began to take Cardui.
Now feel better than IN many
months" Cardui does one thing,
and does il well. That's the secre.
OF its so years of success. AS a tonic
there is nothing in the drug store
like it. AS remedy for women's
ills. it has no equal. Try it. Price
$l.OO.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
SHOULD BE ACCOMMODATING
What Are Neighbors for II They Can
not Help Each Other Out
OCCASIONALLY


Uncle Jabez and Aunt Becky
Pitcher, an easy-going old couple,
lived next door to Mrs. Perkins, al
worthy soul, although a trife lax
in small matters. Borrowing from
each other was daily custom of thI
two women, all borrowed articles
being carefully returned-if con-
venience permitted.
One evening Uncle Jabez asked
for his daily paper, the Spicerville'
Herald, which, although a morning
paper, it was his habit to postpone
reading until the days chores we're
done and he could settle down to his
after-dinner leisure.
"Heml Lemme see," pondered
Aunt Becky, "what did become of
that paper? Oh, yes, 1 recollec'. I
lent it to Susan Perkins this after
noon. I'll run and get it."
She returned soon, bearing a pa
per-not, however, the Herald and
a message from Mrs. Perkins. "Su-
san says, would you just as lives
have yes'day evenings Times? Here
tits. She says it's got nearly the
same readin' in as the Herald, but
it's narrower and don't fit her but'ry
shelf half as good, and if you'd just
as lives"
Uncle Jabez looked little doubt
fully at the Times. couldn't I
read the Herald first" he suggested
mildly, "an' let her put it on her
shelf afterwards, s'pose?"
Aunt Becky looked uncomfortable.
able. 'Well-I s'pose you could, ~
she hesitated, "only Susan got it on
the shelf now, with things settin' on
it, and it'd be some trouble to take
'em off. Besides, she's scalloped it
pretty deep, and the scallops cut
into some Of the readin' a good
deal"
"Oh, WE'LL" concluded Uncle Ja-
bez, resignedly, "ney mind, then
gimme the Times. l reckon neigh
bors ought to 'commodate one anoth-
er when they kin."-Youth's Com
ponion.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
No Place for a Washington.

DR.. R. ]. Campbell, the English
Christian-Socialist, was condemning,
at a luncheon in Philadelphia, a GER
tain type of modern business man.
This type of man." he said, sis pre-
cisely opposite to George Washing
ton. Washington got on by telling
the truth. This man gets on by lying.
ut reminds me OF a story.
"A very successful business man
took his son into his employ, and the
youth, after a few days work, en-
tered his fathers ONCE and said dis
consolately:
dad, I'm afraid l shan't make
good here. You see, I'm not used to
lying
But the father laughed easily.
ooh he said, II you tell the truth
in a place like this, everybodyn be-
lieve you're lying, anyway"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
Almost Universal Trick Of city Sales.
nen Makes No Sort Of Appeal
TO Him.

"Of course It IS generally under
stood that we can always run the 9th.
er fellows business better than he
can" said the fussy Philadelphia,
which is all the more reason for sur
prise that our advice Is so seldom re-
garded. could tell the haberdasher,
for instance. what sort Of statesmen
he should have behind his counters
Il have never yet met one Of these
fellows who could resist the tempta-
ton to tell me what ] should wear.
And that isn't the worst Of It. They
tell me I should wear certain things
because they do, not realizing that
that is the very reason why I should
not wear them.
81 rather pride myself upon the
nicely of my attire, and to have one
of these young whippersnappers say,
Here is the collar for you; I wear
those myself as though that would
influence me favorably, certainly does
get on my nerves And they all do IT,
It seems to be considered by their en-
ployers as an asset in their favor.
'If I wanted to look like a SIS a
week counterjumper might consider
their taste and follow their advice.
But l don't"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
DOCS BECOME A NUISANCE
Staten Island Made a Dumping Ground
by Its Big Neighhor, New
York City.

Staten Island N Y, is notorious as
3 refuge for stray dogs. The borough
across the bay is overrun with home
less ours of all sizes, ages and descrip-
tons, and the policemen are kept
busy shooting them up to appease the
fears of the nervous inhabitants.
Most of them come across on the
BOATS" explained a cop stationed at
the ferry house at st. George. mo,
they aren't stowaways, neither do
they work their passage over. They
are brought over by people who don't
want them, who have grown tired of
their pets, or want to get rid of them
for some reason, and instead of taking
them to the Society for the Prevention
Of Cruelty to Animalsothey bring them
over here and turn them loose, know
ing they will never find their way
back
"Once here they have to forage for
their food, and become wild and dam
gerous, Often they form in packs
like wolves, and then they realize the
strength of numbers, and are absolute
ly fearless. dare say there are more
dogs on Staten Island than in all the
rest of the boroughs put together"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18

The extraordinary case of girl of
% named Adelaide Dallamore, who
passed for six months as the husband
of another CIR is causing much in
terest in London. The two women
were domestic servants and we're so
much attached to one another that
they de termined not to be parted
Sc Dallamore dressed as man and
got job as a plumbers assistant,
which position she held for six
months without any one of 40 men
suepecting she was not what she pre-
tende4 to be-, but supposed her 70 be
a particularly well behaved young
married nan
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
TAKING No Chances.

"Say, Cohn, do you know nice girl
with lots of money for me to martyr"
Eyes, know several and l got pic
lures here. Now here's picture of
Bessie Sheinberg who has three thou
sand dollars. And here's one of Rosie
Mutgenstein who has six thousand dol
lars and one of Helen Goldberg who
has a gold watch all paid for, three
thouse2d dollars in the bank and
think can fix it so you can live with
her folks and it won't cost you any
thing for board"
"Oh, that's nothing for me- want
girl with some real money"
"Oh, at least $4,000 to $4,000"
II got one for you. Sarah Weisen-
stein has got $4,000"
That sounds good. Let's see her
picture"
."Oh, no; after $4,000 no pictures"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18

The word tariff" traces itself back
to Tarifa, Moorish name for a fort
ress on southern promontory of
Spain, running into the Straits of Glib
raltar, and commanding the entrance
to the Mediterranean. From this Tar
ifa the Moors, during their dominion
In Spain. were wont to watch the
merchant ships Of the nations as they
passed into or out of the Mediterran-
can, and. making a sally therefrom,
used to levy duty on the merchandise
carried by the ships. II was from this
practice that the application Of the
word came into use.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
Long Overland Journey.


A strenuous overland journey has
just been completed by Mrs. Sarah
Conner and her four small children,
who, after trip in a dilapidated bug
gy of 900 miles, have arrived at
Wheeler, S. D., their destination. Mrs.
Conner and her children commenced
their journey at Moose Jaw, Canada,
following the death of her husband,
who left them in a destitute condi-
ton. Their nearest relative resided
at Wheeler, in South Dakota. A span
of ponies were hitched to a single
seated top buggy, which contained the
mother and her four children, one a
girl of eleven, boy of nine, girl OF
seven and baby of eighteen months.
In the old buggy were piled the world
ly possessions of the family. The
journey required six weeks time.
Some days they were unable to travel
more than fifteen miles. The two old
er children, and part of the time
three of them, walked while the moth
er drove. The ponies had only such
grazing as they could fini along the
road and were without grain the en-
tire trip. They were nearly exhaust
ed at the end of the journey.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
NEW OCCUPATION FOR cop
Guardian Of the Peace AIao Called
Upon TO Act as DIspeller Of
Nightmares.

Occasionally householders require
services of policemen that seem ex-
traordinary, even to men who have
grown old on the force. Said boy to
patrolman:
Are you the new night policeman
on this beat?"
The policeman said he was.
Then there's a man around at our
house would like to fix things up with
you" said the boy. Can You Gomez"
Mentally rehearsing the crushing re-
Duke that he should deliver If request
ed to condone counterfeiting OF kin
deed illegal practices the patrolman
accompanied his guide to the first
floor fat, where a very innocuous-
looking young man sat reading a
newspaper. Having satisfied himself
that the officer would be on duty that
night, the young man said;
81 shall sleep in this room, and If
you should happen past here about 2
o'clock and hear me yelling my lungs
out don't get scared and think some
body is numbering me, but just reach
in through the window and shake me
good and hard. I shall be in the
throes of nightmare, that's all, and as
these folks are all strangers to me,
maybe they wouldn't like to come in
and wake me up. The night patrol
man in the street l just moved away
from used to perform that little job
for me. and l shall be much obliged
If you will do the same"
The policeman seemed disinclined
to assume the role of dispenser OF
Nightmares, but he finally accepted
the unique commission.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
Smoking to Be stopped.

Statistics gathered through investi.
cation by the authorities of New York
city show that 3,245 fires in 1910 and
1882 in 1911 we're caused by the care
lessness of smokers, mostly in places
of industry. Fire Commissioner john
son, who has been studying the laws
relating to the prevention of fires, as
well as to their extinguishment, has
discovered a statute which forbids
acts which endanger the health or
safety of any considerable number Of
persons, and he is going to attempt to
make it applicable to smoking in fac
tories. He has therefore ordered 49,
900 notices-printed in English, Yid-
dish and Misunderstanding smoking
in factory buildings. These will be
universally distributed and followed
by vigilant and constant inspection to
prevent the violation of his order.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
HE HAD TO STRIKE BACKWARD
Darkey Bound to Yield to LaEor
Movement But Was Getting
Enough Wages.

IT keep a colored man around the
house who waits on the table and
does various things" said the lawyer.
up to a year ago he was getting SIS
a month. Then he came to me one
day and said he must have more
money or he would strike. We talked
it over and settled on $28 a month.
He has got along at that figure ever
since until the other day, when he
walked in on me and said:
Mistah Blank, Use sure got 20
go on strike dis time.
"'But / thought you were satisfied,
Robert l replied.
"'No, sah-no, sab. I KANT dun
satisfied
"'Well, how much do you want?'
"T don't want any mo-, sah.'
"'Then, what's TIE trouble?
Ode trouble az1, sab, dat de strike
business am in de air all round me.
an rs got to strike or bust
"'Are yol. going to leave?'
mo, sah.'
"'But you want more money!
"'No, sah.'
well, what then?
"a year ago, sab, 1 struck ford'B
fur $2S. Now Use gwine to strike
backwards fur de same old $z5.
Sorry, sab, but I must dun strike or
desc white folks round we're will
think I'm jest common trash and hev
no respect for mel"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
LaCy.CarrOll.

ClarksgiIle, Apr. 16.-Harry B
Lacey and Miss Ruth Carroll. a run
away couple from near Hopkinsville
were married by Rev. w. S. Taylc I
at the Madison Street Methodist par
sonage Sunday afternoon. The cou-
pie, accompanied by Mr.. and Mrs
Stanley West, came in an autCHs
BILE and returned as soon as the Ger :
mony was performed.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
rrxInn II On the Girl.

"Oh, it's the grand job I've got
now" said a buxom Irish girl to her
companion, In the subway. My prin-
cipal duty is to sit in the parlor
twirling my thumbs and listening to
my lady play the piano. 1t seems
her man likes music, but she gets
so fused every time she plays in
front of people that she is after hav-
ing crying spell every time. So one
day she says to me: Mary, wish you
to leave your work and come in and
listen to me practice. ] want to get
used to playing in front of folks
dried my hands and slicked back my
hair and went to the parlor and there
sit one hour listening to my lady
play the piano and if the work is be-
hind she never says a word. Next
week she says she is going to ask in
the janitor so as to make more Of a
crowd and I have a secret hope that
she's going to ask my gentleman
friend to join us some evening when
the boss is out and he is calling on
me. It's the finest job I've had in my
seven years experience in America"
New York Times.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
WERE NOT TO BE CONVINCED
Violin Makers Work So Good the
Critics Would Not Accept 1t
as His Own.

While it is no easy matter for a
violin maker to rival the famous
Stradivarius instruments, an Ameri-
can maker once did this, and did it
In so effectual a manner that experts
pronounced his violin a genuine
Stradivarius. The successful man
was George Gemunder, who died some
ten years ago. His remarkable abil-
ity as a maker of violins was known
to many a distinguished player, such
as Ole Bull, Remenyi and Wilhelmj,
but he achcieved-so runs the story
his greatest success at the last Paris
exposition. To that exhibition he sent
an imitation Stradivarius, and, to test
Its merits, had it placed on exhibition
as the genuine article.
A committee of experts carefully ex-
amined the instrument and pronounced
it Stradivarius. So far Gemunder's
triumph was complete, but now came
q difficulty. When he claimed that 1t
was not an old violin but a new one
made by himself, the committee
would not believe him. They declared
that he had never made the instru-
ment and pronounced him an impOs-
tor. He had done his work too well.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
Fortunes In Faces.

There's often much truth in the
say ing her face is her fortune"
but its never said where pimples,
skin eruptiops blotches, or other
blemishes disfigure it. Impure blood
is back Of them all, and shows the
need of DR.. Kings New Lire Pills.
They promote health and beauty.
Try them. Is cents at all druggists.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
reIephones and Ear Troubles.

The ear troubles Of telephone users
are attributed by DR.. Foster Of Char
lottenburg to the sharp cracking and
other Intermittent distracting noises,
and not 10 any electrical or electro
magnetic action. The elimination OF
these sounds ia a problem for the tele-
phone engineer. Herr Bahr Of Char
lottenburg has attempted a solution,
and claims Improvement by substtut-
ng for the iron diaphragm on Of
-, 90 49, IN iron disc.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
New Breakfast Food

Representative Mann of Chicago re-
Gently stopped to inspect some street
construction work in the Windy City.
His attention seemed to be particu-
larly drawn to large iron cylinder
that was being constantly turned over
fire for the purpose OF heating
gravel
"Whot do you make of that. Mann?"
asked a friend who CHANGED along
just then.
Il think they must be rolled peb-
bles," answered Mr.. Mann. Some
new kind of breakfast food adapted
for those Italian immigrants"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
Ladies' object to Profanity.

The woman golfers of New York
have made objections to swearing on
the links and have discussed the mat
ter In their clubs. The men who play
over the links are all supposed to be
gentlemen, but sometimes they are
not careful OF their language, and
ladies have been made very indignant
by some speeches.: II has been sug-
gested that notices be placed in the
clubhouses, but the fact that the
ladies have discussed the subject
will. no doubt, be all that IL neces-
sary.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
IN CRIMINAL PRACTICE

The Accused-Those are the facts,
guv'nor. What's your advice?
The Honest Lawyer-Huml The
case against you looks clear. And
you haven't any money to pay for a
defense?
The Accused-0nly $40, gov'nor.
The Lawyer-Then I strongly adj
wise you to confess. Ten dollars,
please"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
WELL INFORMED.

'"Timpers seems to know all about
automobiles"
81 shouldn't be at all surprised.
No one reads the advertising supple
ments of magazines more diligently
than Timpers does"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18

Gen. Bennett H. Young, of Louis
vile, command ng the Army of Ter
nessee Department, United Confed-
crate Veterans, has selected Mis- s
Regina Rambo, of Marietta, Ca,
sponsor, and Miss Annie Browning,
of lakeland, Fla. maid of honor for
that department for the reunion at
Macon in Nav.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
Chickens For Sale.

To close out, want.t to sell 10 Buff
Orpington fowls at so cts each. Also
hen and ~ young chicks at bargain
price. S. E. CHASTAIN. or inquire
at this office.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
Saves Leg of Boy.

1T seemed that my 14-yesr old
boy would have to lose his leg. on
account of an ugly ulcer, caused b,
a bad bruise," wrote d F. Howard.
Aquone. N c. "All remedies and
doctors treatment failed till We tried
Rucklen's Arnica Saive, and cured
him with one box" Cures burns,
boiis, skin eruptions, piles. 25 cents
at all druggists.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
Wrong County.

Humboldt. Tenn. April 17.-Be-
cluse they were illegally married by
Esquire E Hopper. aCrockett coun-
t, MAGISTRATE. on Gibson county soil.
EdT-n- Moore and Miss Tennie
G-e.n- - Crockett county had to
g. m ~ "a again. and the last cere-
m 40 performed BY Esquire W.
4 DAns. in Hunh0Idt, -
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18

Major Normoyle has reported to
the War Department that 115,OOO
persons are homeless as a result of
the floods in the Mississippi valleys,
and that 5000 of these are desti-
tute. The American Red Cross may
issue a national appeal for aid.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18
Too BUSY 20 Run.

Anne was not very well. and found
walking with her vigorous mother hard
work Mamma. however. was pressed
for time. and presently hurrying ahead.
called to the struggling. painting little
girl TO run. From little distance BE-
hind her came the breathless protestA'
Il can't run. mother You'll Just have
to wait for me. I'm so busy walking
that can't run"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18

County Judge H. H. Denhardt, of
Bowling Green, has received a
threatening letter, ordering him to
leave town under penalty Of death.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1912-04-18

Second hand tobacco screws. grist
mill and saw mill and an 18-horse-
power engine at a bargain.
J. j. Metcalfe.