New-York tribune., 1912-01-27
TIE MOTHER-IN.LAW.

Had Adam had n mother-in-lnw
The human race to-day
Would have m Eden home with not
A cent OF rent 10 pay:
The strenuous life would not be known.
The heart would feel no care;
No cost OF living would disturb
The happy people there;
No pain OF body. mind or soul
Would find a place within
Those blessed precincts, nor would death
Impose tho wage OF sin;
Because. dear friends. II there had been
A mother-in-law I'm call
The devil never would have dared
To cross that garden wall.
WILLIAM j. HAMPTON.
Mrs. Jones, my egg is bad again this
morning; ! can't possibly eat IT,
"Iave you tried the other end. sir?"-
Punch.
Stair climbing Is ono OF the arduous tasks
OF daily life, and even the strongest men
are affected by IT, whIlo those with weak
hearts run grave risks. Herr Schurig. Ger
man military doctor. wishing TO remedy
this. has devised slipper which does
away with the exhaustion. This new slip
per does not differ from other slippers ex-
CO I'm one particular. 1t has "A thick sole
of about three inches. So. each step being
about six inches deep and the slipper being
worn only on one foot. the energy needed
for passing from one step 10 a higher one
Is reduced by half II must be noted. OF
course, that the two feet have to go on
every step. Tho slipper is light. easily put
1a al,f ina
the level can easily be replaced in his
pocket.
Tommy" said n visitor TO a bright little
flve-year-old. what would you do II l gave
you n pennyT
"Wish II was n nickel" was the reply
Chicago News.
Mary and Annie have n might Off" every
week Mt the New Wed home. but they
have been told that they must arrange so
that one remains at home when the other
is out Annie asked for Wednesdays in
January, Thursdays I'm February and, III ]
stay that long. Fridays I'm March," and so
Il was arranged. Annie resigned" a few
days ago because there was too much
company comm in all the time and too
much waitin." Before going and seeking
n quieter and more congenlal home she ex-
planned the plan by which she had chosen
her nights orr by saying: II always
takes them that has five I'm a month"
Don't you feel sort OF lost when your
wife is away, Dobby?" asked Bilkins.
Yes, | do said Bilkins but | don [
worry about II. Maria is a pretty success
full detective. ."-Harpers Weekly.
when one meets the same people every
day az we do one can usually tell what
they will talk about before they begin -
said a veteran commuter 10 his weekend
visitor as the train started for New York
Nov that fnan coming toward us-he
usually sits right behind me-has two sub
iects--automobile and baby. Wonder which
it'll be this morning" Greetings were ex-
changed, the man took his accustomed
place. but newspapers seemed to preclude
conversation. Presently the observant one.
probably wishing to establish the truth of
his theory. turned back and said: "Well.
anything new7' NO" said the other, "ex-
cept what's In the papers?" How is the
automobile?" The question was hardly
asked when the man jumped up and rushed
to n passenger further forward In the car,
to whom he whispered n word or two and
returned to his seat wearing a broad grin
II made a bet on you this morning." he
said to the man with the weekend friend.
II bet Frank you would tell me about the
barn you are going to build or ask about
his commuter friend and said: Guess