Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-04-18

IolHR Win your WIG 10 a MSn-OTOW
lecture on "Maeterlick's Influence on
the Modern Drama"
Climbing into the full bathtub n
finding that there is no soap or towels.
LIGHT AND SHADE.
The sun shines down b%enignly. and
To live the life Is simply grand.
The little birds sing in the trees,
And happiness is in the breeze.
There's not a single unkind word.
Or peevish sentence to be heard.
Men are OF cheerful frame of mind,
Are phflanthropic. and are kind.
They cen give money to their wives.
SO glad and care-free are their lives
That's when the home teams winning.
The clouds hang low. the heavens scowl,
The voice OF nature is a growl.
OF happiness there's not q spark
1t is no safe to make remark
ON any subject, new or OLD.
Men view the life in manne cold.
There's not a single ray of hope.
They talk of shotguns and of rope.
They all go home and nag their wives.
So sad and gloomy are their lives
That's when the home teams losing.
FRIENDS.
had a friend,
| loaned him ten.
l haven't seer
My friend since then.
Another one
Touched me for five.
l doubt II he
Is still alive.
We wen on a note
To help a third.
He ma be dead,
haven't heard.
1 guess it's true,
That in the end
A Teller is
His own best friend.
SOME PEOPLE WHOM WE ALI.
LOVE.
The gabby man whose son has lust
been offered a fine position with a glue
company.
The friend of the family who always
drops In just at lunch time when there
is company.
The old boy who has seer all of the
shows and compares them audibly
when he goes to the theater.
The bill! collector who drops in on
Friday when pay day doesn't come
until Saturday..
The p%estiferous person who used to
know you when
The beer driver who stops in front
of the house on the very afternoon
when he Ladies' Aid is meeting with
yOu.
The friend who waits until he sees
you produce a two-dollar bill and then
strikes you for a dollar.
REPRESENTATIVES,.
Then. again, the mar who invented
the phrase to the effect that nothing
is impossible in this world. never tried
Take a friend home Unexpectedly
n n anything to eat in the house.
Make a speech sound as good to an
audience as 1t did to his riends when
he tried 1t on 'em at home.
Make his wife alight from a street
car the proper n safe way.
Remember just what size thread it
was his wife told him to buy.
Find out the age of a suffraget.
Get anything accepted by the Cen
fury Magazine.
breath.
WITH A COLD IN THE ED.
OH, how l Tub de gedle spr1g.
Its praises I most gaily sig.
The little birds their message brig.
All dature is i'd tude.
De buds appear upod de trees
Ad gedle zephyrs fill de breeze.
The lowig herds wind DER the leas,
AS i'd de mOdth of Jude.
How lovely, how salubrious
Is balby. breezy sprig to us.
That's why we IKE to bake a fuss
Whed she draws cd apace.
We started this verse oud all rigid
But suddenly there hove in siEdt
A blizzard-and i'd showed all night!
Oh, pass the uuidide capsules.
-
RAGTIME.
He has got the neighbors in a huff.
That kid x door with the ragtime
stuff.
He pounds all night and he pounds all
day,
And ragtime Is all that he can play.
To ragtime all of h gospel hymns
1s n of his most peculiar whims;
There's not a tune on the list today
That he can't manage to ~syncopate.
There's naught too solemn and naught
too grand
For slaughter beneath his ruthless
hand.
He's got the neighbors on the top.
We all walk ragtime. Just can't stop.
His domination is complete.
We chew in ragtime when we eat.
In ragtime we chop all our wood:
They call US the ragtime neighborhOod.
He knows NO pity and knows no fear,
His ragtiE:e music is all we hear.
We never know when q car goes past.
We can't distinguish an autos blast.
A q band coming down our street
Would simply have to admit defeat.