The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-09-18
ON THE SPUR
OF EHE MOMENT
According to Uncle Abner.
BY ROY x. MOULTON.

According to Uncle Abner.
Our idee of the height of enjoyment is
to be passenger and to be asked to get
out and twist the tail of a bulky automo-
DlIe Tor a half an hour in the boiling SUM-
Zine Inc greatest sign of old age is fer a
i 1ener to admit that he don't take no in
| tereSt in a circus
,h mere never seems to be any possible
| SaIice OF ciVilizing a Teller who has a
passion for pigs hooks and sauerkraut
Elmer Jones says II he had all the
| iiloney ne mas spent for engagement rings
ne could now be the owner of forty
candle power snort wagon. Elmer has had
more engagements that didn't take than
any teiier In this country outside of a
! vaudeville performer.
A comfortable person to have around is
me one who is always Dragging about
"T n ne has done for you.
L. Egbert Peavey says h e doesn't believe
IN Ialr1es any more. He did believe in
one once, but her husband gave him a
1nrashlng that cured him forever.
L see another American aIress has mar
r1ed foreign duke who has got a corOnet,
but she will have to like music pretty
Wen TO get along with him if he plays
on the dang thing very much.
Inc oarkeep at the Golden Nugget is
getung rich selling crooked handled UNI
| preiias that he finds hangin' on the front
OF the mahogany when he shuts up every
night Last night he found nineteen and
| hopes the rain holds out long enough for
him to buy saloon of his own.
The sayin that little pitchers have big
ears Is true jedgfn' by the pictures of 'em
We see every Gay on the sport page
An Indianny Teller has been made min
lister to a furrin' country. The trouble
about bein' a minister to a furrin coun-
try is the danger of runnin' up agin' the
cannibals.
When a Teller uses violet ink he is either
in luv or runnin' fake gold mine
Since Bud Hicks got that 10-cent haircut
down to the city he screw his hat on
SO the wind can't blow it off.
CauDhf IN the Fly
The attention of the public is now called
to the fact that, in spite of the presidential
campaign, there is a bumper corn crop
that ought to be looked after.
American crackers are being con-
sumed in large quantities in AbyssInia.
Soda crackers, by the way, not firecraek-
erS.
They are making umbrellas in Japan so
cheaply nowadays that they are not worth
stealing.
One half of the world doesn't know
how the other half gets it's automobiles
About the only thing left for the colonel |
to do is to challenge Jack johnson.
A movement is on foot to have all |
future candidates pledge themselves not
to accept a second term. Most of them |
would be perfectly safe in .pledging them |
selves not to accept the first one.
The president of the Ohio State uni |
versity says conversation is a lost art. |
Huh! He should attend a suffraget meet |
ing.
sunny Jim doesn't care much whether
he is elected or not. That makes it I'M
1t seems as though it is almost time
to again have a president with whiskers.
Contented.
Let others grow excited DER the grave
affairs of state,
And spend their time in politics and let
their business wait.
I've got no time to waste that way for
I've got no ambish
To butt in the statecraft game,
To rather sit and fish.
don't care much about the ways
among the foreign powers,
am not one to sit and talk about the
thing for hours,
The whole burned world can get riled up
but it is not my wish
To try and solve those problems for
I'd rather sit and fish,
worry not about the germs the scientists
expose,
High prices don't fuss me bit. do
the kindred woes
For when I'm hungry I can find some
nice bass my dish;
There's not a care upon my mind
When I can sit and fish.