Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1912-10-03
A Homely
Courtship
By SUSAN YOUNG PORTER

In America. At one time they were |
used as passenger boats. Then, under
competition with the railroads, they |
sank into freighting only, and now they !
have almost entirely passed away.
In those freighdng days man named
Shock drove mule on the towpath
which pulled a boat. Shock was as
homely as his hame. He had never
had sweetheart, and there was little
hope of his ever having one, for when
ever a woman looked at him she was
appalled,.
There was, some three or four hun
dred yards from the canal, at about
the center of Shocks route, tumble
down house in a small lot, in one corn
er of which was a pigsty. One day.
when Shock was trudging along be-
hind his mule, he saw at an open win
dow in the dilapidated trap a female
figure She was too far off for him to
see what she looked like, but she wav-
ed something white, which Enoch took
to be q tablecloth Whether she was
W Will vi was Summing
the crumbs out of the cloth he could
not be sure Taking bandanna from
his pocket he returned the wave.
Now, Enoch was cognizant of the
fact that he was not beautiful. His
hair was a fiery red, his nose was
pug the color of his hair, his teeth
were mostly gone. Had it not been
for this he might have made bold on
his return trip to give his mule rest
and gone to the house awooing. AS 1t
was. and since this was the only
chance he had ever met, he was wary.
He thought it better to make some
headway in lovemaking before risking
showing the lady his homely person at
close proximity. So, instead of stop
ping when he passed again, having
provided himself with a boys blow
gun, he fred a wad of paper at her,
which being unrolled revealed the fol-
lowing note:
1 seen you at yure winder yistaday and !
wood like very much to max yure ac-
quaintenc.
The lady was watching for the boat
on it's return trip. and when Enoch
fred his note at her she saw it fail
near her house and. going out, picked
it up and read it. But by this time
Enoch had gone on his way.
When Enoch passed the house again
he saw large letters chalked against
the house. which. though it had been
| ,;rriy, oil NH ho Vt hann noinf.
ed in twenty years, was now dull
brown. The letters were plainly visi-
BILE from the canal, and Enoch read
/ can't see what you look like from
| yere but you may be decent lookin' fell
lor and If you air you kin come and see
ME.
This reply was rather setback to
one who knew full well that he was
homely as a hedgehog. The communi-
cation was brief. and it contained ex-
actly what Enoch would have preferred
that it should not contain. The lady
evidently was looking for handsome
man. The message convinced him
that he was right in not permitting her
to see him close by before he had
stirred up some sentiment which might
lead her to overlook in a measure his
homeliness.
Euochs next love letter was written
in lampblack on several boards nailed
together and set up on the deck of his
canalboat facing the house of his in
amorata. 1t read:
II you air a purity woman 1 wood be hap
py to stop over. Hain't got no use fer
ugly wimmen.
When Enoch passed the house the
next time the blinds were all closed
and no living thing was to be seen eX-
cept few chickens scratching the dirt
in the yard. Enoch was disappointed.
1t was plain to him that this was in
tended for a snub. On his next trip
he wrote on his boards. whats upT'
To which was chalked the reply,
"Nothin'."
Enoch reasoned that his lady love
had been miffed at his previous COM
munication. thinking that he had ac.
cused her of being homely, but, hay
ing thought the matter over. she had
seen his note in another light He
began to think that faint heart never
won fair lady" and he might as well
face the music one time as another
So he wiped the lampblack off his
boards and wrote again:
lie stop over mex trip.
When he passed again he was az,
rayed in store suit that had cost him
"a. His hair had been creased with q
slice of fat. and his boots had been
blacked. Stopping his mule-and the
boat when it had lost its momentum
he proceeded to the house of his lady
love. She had been watching him
from window and opened the dooi
for him.
Laws marsy" was her exclama
ton.
"By gun1!' was Enoch's.
The woman had lost most of the haiI
on her head. which seemed to have
gone to her face. Her nose had de
veloped abnormally under the effect OF
some skin disease. She was slabsided
and angular.
She slammed the door in Enoch's
face. who turned and. with a melan
| oh L., cAo ho b. 4