Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1912-11-14
Ma Put Indian Sign on Cupid.

that HEINZ 1ellOW last ounudy hlSht,
laughed the girl with the exaggerated
psyche knot. "He won't come incoming
around my sister Bertha any more,
she giggIed as she tucked in few stray
hairs that had curled over her collar and
surveyed her pleasing reflection in the
mirror above the lavatory.
"How did she squelch him, Annie Z"
asked the sleepy looking blonde, stretch
ing her wet handkerchief across the mir
ror to dry it.
"Well, Bertha's had an awful case on
Heinzy for quite while. He's widow
er, with boy about five years old, but
Bertha said she didn't care, for she liked
him anyway. She used TO rave about
him until she made ma and ME tired. |
could see from the start that ma didn't
have much use for him, and she warned
Bertha that all he was looking for was
somebody to keep house and cook his
meals for him and take care OF that kid OF
his.
Bertha said ma was wrong, that he
was head over ears in love with her, and
she wouldn't hear word against him.
Ma used TO call him Bertha'S tireSide COM
panion, because he never took her any
where, but just sat around and acted as
though he was afraid TO spend nickel.
"Last Sunday morning Bertha went out
10 the kitchen and asked ma If she would
let her have the Heinz fellow TO supper
that evening. She coaxed around until
ma finally said she could ask him If she
wanted to, but you could see that ma
wasn't at all crazy about having him
come.
CATER Bertha had gone out and ma and
were doing up the work, all OF sud-
den saw that ma had an idea. She
chucked TO herself the rest OF the morn
ing, but she wouldn't let me in on the
Joke. When asked her about it she
lust told me would have TO wait and
keep my eyes open and ! would see
something funny.
"That evening Bertha said she wanted
to get supper all by herself and show
Heinzy what a grand cook she was. Ma
says All right, if you want TO get a job as
housekeeper, OF course you must give
your future boss sample OF your cook
ing With that she went upstairs.
"After a while ma came down again
and asked Bertha how she was getting
along. Bertha said that everything was
on the stove ready to dish up, and would
ma watch things while she hustled up
stairs in order to primp up bit ?
"Ma said she would, so Bertha beat it
upstairs in order to doll up for Heinzy.
When we all filed up to the dining room
and sat down things looked good to me.
"While ma was bringing in the dishes
she says TO Heinzy: & want you to know,
Mr.. Heinz, that Bertha cooked every bit
of the supper tonight, so if you like 1t
you'll nave to give her all the credit for
it,
"Heinzy looked over at Bertha, with a
contented smile and tucked napkin under
his double chin. Then he took a bite OF
biscuit and next saw him look all around
TO see if anybody was watching him as
he rolled it out of his mouth into his hand
and laid il carefully on his plate. began
to get suspicious, so took bite OF bis
cult, just to see. Say, it was about the
awfuleSt tasting thing ever ate
at was positively green inside. Ber-
tha had used soda instead OF baking pow
der, and plenty OF it, too, and the biscuits
were simply terrible |!
al copied Heinzy and got rid OF my
bite quick as could and took a swallow
of coffee to get the taste out OF my mouth.
Say! The coffee was so weak it was
Just like waterl looked over at ma and
her face was as red as beet, she was
trying so hard to keep from laughing.
al knew pretty we'll then who had
queered the supper. Ma must have put
soda in the baking powder can so Bertha
would be sure to get it, and probably she
put plenty of hot water in the coffee pot
after Bertha had gone upstairs.
al was curious to know what else ma
had done, so helped myself to a chop.
Saltyl Ii was worse than a mackerel
that hadn't been soaked over night Why,
felt picked in brine after | swallowed
it glanced over at Heinzy. He was
the glummest looking somebody you
ever sawl Every now and then he look
ed at Bertha with a frown blacker than a
thunder cloud.
"When we came to pie ! found that
MA had even switched pies on poor Ber-
tina. The under crust was just like sott
rubber Heinzy ate the filling out and
left the under crust staring Bertha in the
face. Then we all got up and went into
the parlor, but Heinzy never said a word
about Bertha's fine cooking. Bertha
didn't say anything, either. She had
caught on right away what ma had done,
but she never chirped.
"Heinzy didn't stay very late that night.
| guess he was anxious to get away and
hunt lunch counter. He'd been coming
to see Bertha every night for two weeks,
but he hasn't been back since"
"What did Bertha say to your mother
aiterward ?" asked the sleepy-lOoking
blonde. "Was she ugly about It ?
al should say not She saw that ma
was right-that he was only IookinI for
a cook-and she's glad that she found II
out in time. Ny ma is 5 sharp as they
make 'em, and nobody Car put anything
QUO, on her SFe's pot the Indian sign