The Marshall republican., 1912-11-15
Press Clippings

Louisville Courier-Journal: The
automobile Is only In its infancy,
CO there Is hope that 1t may event
r,lly become less noisy.
minnie said a mother to her
little daughter who had the tell
tale habit, "why is 1t you can't
keep a s~ecret9" Because, mamma"
explained the precocious miss two
of my front teeth r. gone, and
thu se--ets just slip out"
Harper's Weekly: Do you really
believe doctor, that your old medi-
cines actually keep anybody aliveP
asurely,r returned the doctor. my
prescriptions have kept three drug
yists and their families alive in
this town for twenty years"
Little Elmer: Mamma, j saw a
man down at the blacksmith's shop
making a horse. Mamma: You
must be mistaken, Elmer. Little
Elmer: No, I'm not mamma. He
had the horse nearly finished when
I came by. He was just mailing on
the feet.
The elevator in whish the maya
zine cd tor was ascending dropped
from the sixth floor. but the great
man escaped serious injury. As he
emerged from the wreck a friend
stepped up to him end said quick
professional work, old man. You
went through half a dozen stories
in about as many seconds"
ANY wife Is eeonomising so we
will be abe TO take n long vacation
next summer" 'Finel Suppose she
Is doing with last years hat and
che has already purchased a
hat; but she has ds.iiei that !
won't need new suit this win
"Innuendo Is very effective in
oratory,r said William Jennings
"A gentleman once visited
As he sat on the hotel
and fought the Tuckahoe
mosquitoes. he said 20 an old resi-
denter, Have you newspaper
The r~esidenter. skilled In in
nuendo, answered, 'oh. no! We
have a ladies sewing :ircle.''
Abraham Lincoln was once asked
to give his opinion Of the financial
standing OF certain man whom he
knew. "The fellow has a wife and
two children wrote the president
sand they ought to be worth $50
900 TO any man. Then he has an
office with table and two chairs,
worth say 81. In the corner OF the
room Is n good sized rat hole that
goes To show that some people are
better off than they r aware
While on your way to the fur
mace this morning read this little
which we plucked from the
warrenton Banner; "Profanity
never did anyone any good. No
man Is the richer, the wiser or hap
pier for IL. II commends no one
to society or organization. II Ii
TO the refined, abomin-
able to the good, insulting to asso-
degrading TO the mind, un-
profitable, needless and injurious
to society. Ycung man, do not
stoop to the low level o. pro-
DR.. Lewis White Allen, the Dem
yer Psychologist, was giving an in
formal talk on physiology upon the
sea-fronting porch Of an
Atlantic City hotel ALSO, he
he said, at has lately been found
that the human body contains sui
phurn. "Sulphur9" exclaimed a
girl in a blue and white bllzer.
How much sulphur is there, then, ,
In girls body?' "Oh," said DR..
Allen smiling, "the amount varies"
'And is that asked the girl, "why
some of us make SO much better
matches than others?n J
Life: A Scotch lady gave her
Iervant very frticu'ar instructions ]
'egarding visitors, explaining that {
hey were to be shown into the I
irawing-room, and no doubt used
he Scottic!sm, Garry any ladies I
hat call upstairs" On the arrival !
Of the first visitors Donald was
Eager to show his stri:t attention l
the mistress orders. Two ladies !
anne together, and Donald seiz-
ng one in his arm said to the \
,ther, "Bide Gye here till I come
or ye," and in spite OF herstrug-
yles and remonstrances, ushered ]
he terrified visitor into his mis-