The Washington herald., 1912-02-26
By DoRoTHf DIX.

Three thousand eight hundred ana
eighty-three persons were arraigned IN
the Domestic Relations Court in New
York during the year 1911.
Just think of the amount of domestic
misery that those figures represent:
think Of the deserts of blasted illusions
and blighted hopes, of the mountains OF
broken dreams, the salt seas OF tears for
which they standl Just think, that In
one city alone, besides the ubiquitous,
common, or garden variety OF family
spats there were ASS husbands and
wives who quarrelled to such an extent
that they took their difficulties into
court,
II is appalling. II is enough to make
anybody conclude that IL marriage ism
q failure, II is the short cut TO trouble.
In commenting on these cases OF do
mestic infelicity Miss Rose McQuade, the
probation officer Of the Domestic Rela-
tions Court, says:
The chief source of discord between
married people that sends them to our
court is the mother-in-law. II makes no
difference whether it's the mans mother
or the woman's mother. Her appearance
ina household is the beginning Of trou-
bic. and l have come to the conclusion
that a mother-in-law should never pay
more than a formal call TO the home of
her son-in-law. And under no circum-
stances should she remain overnight
The second source OF trouble is drink
ing on the part Of the husband and
slovenliness on the part of the wife. A
third reason for disagreement in the
family Is extravaganza and shiftlessness.
But underneath II all is the vital fact
that the average weekly wage of the men
arraigned here is between ten and
Twelve dollars"
Sounds SordId.
This sounds sordid, doesn't it? The
romantic young creatures who are con-
templating marrying on nothing but
love, and who believe that they can live
on kisses, Will be Mortified at this plain
blunt statement of the fact that loves
Young dream has TO be sustained on
beefsteak and onions or else IL turns
up its little toes and dies, and that peo-
pie who lack the ordinary comforts of
life no longer kiss. They snap and snarl
at each other.
Yet such is unfortunately the case.
Marriage is business, as well as a SEN
timental proposition. and IL goes into
bankruptcy If il has not a sufficient
financial backing. This does not mean
that it must be capitalized into the
millions Far from it. Undoubtedly
young people of moderate means who
build up together are the happIest.
But they must have enough income
TO provide them with the ordinary COM
forts and decencies of life, or else their
marriage is foredoomed failure. There
is no such thing possible as a cheerful.
contented, peaceful home where the wolf
sits on the doorstep bowling and where
the husbands and wife's nerves are on
edge with anxiety about the future, and
over strain and privation in the present.
The man who sees his family half
starving on his insufficient wage, who
looks at his wife's worn. white face and
his under-nourished children, must curse
himself for having brought such misery
on those he loves and, for a fool for hav-
ing married. The wife who sees her
husband haggard and old, and worn
out before his time, striving vainIy to
support his family in comfort. must re-
proach herself for being a burden upon
him and feel it would have been better
for both of them If they had been
stricken dead on her wedding day In
stead of plunging recklessly into life
that has meant nothing but hardships 10
both OF them.
4 Comparison.
1t is inevitable that the man. being
human, under such circumstances con-
trasts his lot with that of his unmarried
COMPANIONS. who on the same salary are
enabled TO live comfortably because they
can spend all they make on themselves.
1t Is inevitable that the woman, being
human, should contrast her lot with that
OF her unmarried friends who work no
harder than she does but whose salaries
enable them TO have good clothes and
good food and a comfortable place to
live in. 1t is also inevitable under such
circumstances that the man and the
woman should reproach each other and
each feel that the other was to blame.
. Unfortunately for romance, our
physical needs are more pressing than
our spiritual ones. Nobody cares
rap about his heart when his stomach
is empty. Nobody is sentimental when
hungry or uncomfortable, and for
these reasons Cupid packs UP his grip
and hikes out for a more congenIal
location when poverty invades a home
The statistics of the Domestic Rela-
tiOns Court are earnestly commended
TO the attention Of all the young
Romeos who are contemplating matri-
mony on so or 81 per. 1t has a lesson
that they will do well to heed, for it
teaches that marriage on an insufficient
income doesn't. bring a young couple
happiness. 1t plunges them into certain
misery.
People who are always worried to
death over the rent and the grocery
bill, who are overworked, and whose
tempers are raw with perpetual sacri-