Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1912-05-02

| trio button as II he were comforting q
favor: "The drinks are on you,
Wedgewood. I'll ring" And he rang.
"Awf'lly kind Of you," said Wedge.
wood, "but how do you make that
, out?"
"The man that misses the point,
pays for the drinks" And he rang
again. Wellington protested.
But I've jolly well paid for all the
drinks for two days"
Wellington roared: That's another
point you've missed" And Ashton
rang again, but the pale yellow indi
vidual who had always answered the
bell with alacrity did not appear
Where's that internal buffet waiter?"
grumbled
Wedgewood began to litter 1--WE
were out of Scotch, SO sent him for
some more"
"When?"
1.-TWO stations back. fancy we
must have left him behind"
We'll, why in thunder didn't you
say so?" Ashton roared.
ut quite escaped my mind" Wedge.
wood grinned. Rather good joke on
you fellows. what?"
We'll, don't see the point" Ash.
ton growled, but the triumphant Eng.
lishman howled: That's where you
pay!"
Wedgewood had his laugh to him.
SELF for the others wanted to murder
him. Ashton advised lynching, but
the conductor arrived on the scene in
time to prevent violence.
Fosdick informed him of the IRE.
trievable loss of the useful buffet wait.
err The conductor pror ised to get
another at Ogden.
Ashton walled: "H' re we got to
sit here and die Of thi. st till them"
The conductor refused to back up
for a COON" but offered to send In
sleeping-car porter as temporary
substitute.
AS he started to 60, Fosdick, who
had been necessarily consulting his
watch. checked him to ask: "Oh, con-
ductor, when do we get to the state
line of dear old Utah?"
Dear old Utah." the conductor
grinned. Wed "a been there already
If we hadn't "a fell behind a little"
Just my luck to be late" Fosdick
moaned.
What you so anxious to be in
Utah for, Fosdick?" Ashton asked, sus-
piclously. you 60 on to Frisco, don't
you?"
Fosdick was evidently confused at
the direct question. He tried to
dodge it: "Yes, but-funny how things
have changed When we started, no.
body was speaking to anybody except
his wife, now"
Now" said Ashton, drily, every
body's speaking to everybody except
his wife"
You're wrong there" Little Jim
mie interrupted. II wasn't speaking
mic interrupted. II wasn't speaking
to my wife in the first place. We got
on as strangersh and we're strangersh
yet. Mrs. Welln'ton is "a"
"A queen among women. we know!
Dry up" said Ashton, and then they
heard the querulous voice OF the por-
ter OF their sleeping car: 81 tell you,
don't know nothin' about the buffet
business"
The conductor pushed him in with
a gruff command. Crawl in that cage
and get busy"
Still the porter protested: "Mista
Pullman engaged me for a sleepin'
car, not a drinkin' car I'm a berth
maker, not mixer" He cast re-
sentful glance through the window
that served also as a bar, and his
whole tone changed: Say, is you
goin' to allow me loose amongst all
you do, can't guarantee my con-
duck"
them beautiful bottles? Say, man. II
III you even sniff one of those bot
Ties" the conductor warned him, "lll
crack 1t over your head"
THAT won't worry me none-as
long as my mouf's open." He smacked
his chops over the prospect OF inti-
macy with that liquid treasury.
"Lordy! Well, I'll try to control my
emotions-but remember. don't guar
antee nothin'."
The conductor started to go, but
paused for final instructions: And
remember-after We get to Utah we
can't serve any hard liquor at ALL
whats that? Don't they low moth
in in that old Utah but ice-cream
soda?"
That's about all. If you touch q
drop, III leave you In Utah for life."
"Oh, Lordy, III be good!"
The conductor left the excited black
and went his way. Ashton was the
first to speak: Say, Porter. can you
mix drinks?"
The porter ruminated, then con-
fessed: well, not on the outside, no,
sir. II you-all is thirsty you better Or
der the simplest things you can think
Of. II you want to command anything
fancy, Lord knows what you'd get.
Supposin' you was to say, Gimme
Tom Collins I'd be just as liable as
not to pass you Jack Johnson
well, can you open beer"
"Oh, I'm natural born beer
opener"
Rush 1t out then. My throat Is as
full of alkali dust as these windows"
The porter soon appeared with
tray full Of cotton-topped glasses. The
day was hot and the alkali dust very
oppressive, and the beer was cold. DR..
Temple looked on 1t when 1t was am