Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-03-17

THERE is a room in the Capitol at Wash
l ington, just off the main corridor and
nearly opposite the Supreme Court chamber,
in which the members of that august body
meet for luncheon daily at one o clock when
the court is in session. The shutters of the
window leading out on the balcony are
drawn The table is spread. The highest
iudiciaries of the land are boys again, If
rl1mor has it right, sans gown, sans response
bilitv, and sans dignity. If the walls have
ears and could talk, it is said, many a
"screamer' would be repeated just as it
came straight from the lips OF these astute
Judges of the highest tribunal.
Occasionally, however, choice witticism
leaks out through the sacred portals. Gen
orally it is at the expense of one of the men,
bers; for they enjoy that sort especially.
The late Chief Justice Fuller was accorded
the honor of being the best storyteller, while
the late Justice Brewer was considered the
wittiest of the nine. The late Justice Harlan,
it seems, was inclined to monopolize the con-
versation with lengthy narratives of long
drives on the Chevy Chase Golf Club course
and sensational puts from the edge of the
green To him is attributed the classic
effusion," Golf is the most blasphemous game
ever invented
Not long ago Justice Harlan was playing
on the Chevy Chase links with a friend. In
driving from one of the tees the ball hit
COW in the mouth. As rule, COWS are not
allowed the liberty of the golf course; but
there, for Justice Harlan said that the only
conclusion left him, when the ball failed to
reappear, was that the COW had swallowed
it along with yawn.
The friend attempted to make the animal
disgorge the sphere by pounding it on the
back Bossy gazed on in mild surprise at
this unusual procedure for time, and then
whisked her tail and took to her heels
straight for the next hole. More than that,
she CONSIDERABLY dropped the ball on the
green only a few feet from it.
Judge Harlan's opponent waited for him
to come up, and then calmly holed his ball.
The Justice followed suit.
How many strokes, judge" inquired
his friend.
Eight" replied the Justice modestly.
"Well," said the friend with a smile, Il
made it in two
Il beg your pardon" objected the Judge,
"but YOU mean thirty-two, don't you?"
How do you make thato" parted the
friend.
Il counted one for every whack you gave
the cow was the reply.
And the decision OF the Supreme Court
stood.
THE late Chief Justice Waite, man OF
extreme dignity, started for Baltimore
one afternoon many years ago from the old
Baltimore & Ohio station. He discovered,
to his horror, that he had only few pennies
in his pockets. His train was due to depart
in few minutes, and his engagement was
an important one. He looked round for a
friend; but found none. So he filed boldly
up in line to the ticket Office. When he
reached the window, he smiled pleasantly
at the agent and asked him if he recognized
him.
Nav, don't!" snarled that amiablc Of
fetal What do you wanto"
Il want a ticket to Baltimore and re-
turn replied the Justice. am Chief Jus
tice of the Supreme Court. | have no money
with me. must have forgotten my purse.
l can give you my personal check"
"Oh, you can, can YOU" interrupted the
agent wrathfully. You mean-you can't!
That game don't go with me. just had
two members of the Cabinet try to work me
for tickets, and the Supreme Court gag don't
60 half as good! Brush by! There's others
behind you with the price!'
Justice Waite was dumbfounded. He
couldn't fine the young man for contempt
OF court; SO he just glared at him and
blushed and perspired
He dashed out of the station in hope of