The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1912-07-19

she so condemned seemed TO me TO be
my least offense. Though l under
stood her resentment and appreciated
the position she had taken, felt, how
ever, that l had made a mistake in
2beying her and now wished that /
had remained at the Pines and con
fessed everything to Bud. l believed
then, as / do now, that he would have
understood me better than Miss Ellen
had done and would have pleaded my
cause for me, though doubt whether
he or any one else at that time could
have shaken her determination not to
admit me to her friendship again.
/ would wake up each morning re
solved to quit the state that day, but
before noon l would change my mind.
as l seemed utterly incapable of tear
ing myself from the neighborhood of
the Pines. ever looked and longed
for some change of feeling which
might blunt the edge of my grief, but
none came, and my love seemed to
grow stronger each succeeding day.
1t was maddening to think that had
! lost her, and. what gave this sorrow n
| keener edge was the knowledge that
had forever put it out of my power to
be of any service to her or to lend as
sistance to those she loved. l would
! become prey at times to the keenest
! pangs of jealousy. / had no doubt
that the squire would renew his suit,
and feared that she might be led in
her bitter resentment toward me to
| accept his hand in marriage. ! wrote
her several letters begging for her for
i giveness and If she could not grant
me that to try at least to understand
the feelings which had prompted me
to write the letters which had been the
means of separating us. l told her of
the hopeless state of mind into which
l had fallen and that / believed that
my life would be aimless unless she
would touch the magic spring which
would set my blood aglow once more
and arouse the dormant ambition with
IN me to accomplish something in the
world.
wrote on and on. l exhausted my
! logic and mental powers to make her
understand l reviewed my visit to
| the Pines at length, from the moment
had met Colonel Turpin to the last
| interview had had with her My first
mistake, told her, had been in letting
my introduction to her and her mother
| as q relative Of the Kentucky Palmers
| go unchallenged. l explained how l
| believed myself TO have been merely a
| boarder and the almost fatal mistake
I had made in speaking to the colonel
on the subject
Such hospitality i was unaccustom-
| ed to, nor do l now fully understand
the prOmptings of that kind old heart
when he invited me to the Pines
told her of my life and Of my work;
| how / had come into her section with
the bitterest feelings against 1t. My
one ambition, l told her was to arouse
| hostile sentiment in New England
against the political party then in pow
er in nearly all the southern states.
did not conceal from her the satisfac-
tion | had felt when this assignment
had been given me nor my disappoint-
| ment when l learned afterward that
| l was not to touch on politics in my
letters. l told her of my resolution to
leave the Pines on the day after l had
arrived there, but how that resolve
mGted as snow before the sun when l
had seen her and looked into her eyes;
how step by step she had led me to
look upon life with broader and
kindlier view and had brought me
finally to full understanding of her
section and her people, and how she
had made me know for the first time
what my father meant when he was
wont to say that all the two great sec
tions Of the country needed was to get
acquainted.
The letter which had so offended her,
| said, would be the means of bringing
thousands of persons to proper ap-
probation of her home land and the
southern character, just as the facts
embodied in it had caused me to
change the opinions l had held once.
l did not believe my offense was past
forgiveness, and l begged her that in
a spirit Of fairness she would try to
appreciate the impulses Of one whose
instincts seemed to be to write Of
things as they are and whose training
had led him always to seek out those
things to describe which were novel
and Of interest. l followed this letter
with another, but with no better result.
I wearied the postal officials with ques-
tons and got them to 60 through the
general delivery a half dozen times
day.
1 do not know how it would have
ended had the thought not come to me-
as if by inspiration, that l could at
least be Of some small service to her.
yet keep my identity in the back
ground. After waiting in Augusta one
more week IN anxious hope that each
day might bring letter from her /
took the train for Atlanta and there
began a search for the holders of the
mortgage on the Pines. With good
Raf I