New Ulm review., 1912-06-12

Here's Doctor Tsnp,s,~ said Ash
ton, fright on the job." Wellington
turned to the old clergyman with pa
thetic trust, and the deceiver writhet
in his disguise. The best he coult
think Of was: "Will somebody lsnt
me lead pencil?" i..
What fort" said Wellington, un
easily. .,s5
Il am going to roll your upper ID
up on It," said tho Doctor.
"0h. no. you're not" said the pa
tient. "You can roll your own lidS!'
Then the conductor. still another
conductor, wandered on the scene and
asked az II 1t were not . world-impor
tant matter: What's the matter
pick up cinder?"
"Yes. Perhaps you can get it out,
the alleged doctor appealed. Y
The conductor nodded: "The best
way is this-take hold Of the wink
ers."
"The what?" mumbled Wellington.
"Grab the winkers Of your upper
eyelid in your right hand"
."I've got EN-. 49,
! "Now grab the winkers Of your low
| er eyelid in your left hand. Now
raise the right hand, push the under
lid under the overlid and haul the
overlid over the underlid; when you
have the overlid well over the un
der" .." e
Wellington waved him away: "Say
what do you think I'm trying to do
stuff a mattress? Get out of my way
1'want my wife-lead me to my wife
"An excellent idea," said DR.. Tenn
pie, who had been praying for a recon
ciliation. .....
He guided Wellington with difficulty
to the observation room and, finding
Mrs. Wellington at the desk as usual,
he began: "Oh, Mrs. Wellington, may
l introduce you to your husband"
Mrs. Wellington rose haughtily,
caught sight of her suffering consort
and ran to him with q cry Of "Jim.
mie!"
"Lucretia!" r-r.. .a4
'What's happened-are you killed ?"
''I'm far from well. But don't wor.
ry. My life insurance is paid up"
"Oh, my poor little darling" Mrs.
Jimmie fiuttered, what on earth ails
you?" She turned to the doctor. "Is
he going to die?''
'I think not" said the doctor. 'rIt's
only bad case of cinder-in-the-eye-
tia." "
Thus reassured, Mrs. Wellington
went into the patients eye with her
handkerchief SIS that the eye?" she
asked.
mol" he howled, "the other one"
She went into that and came out
with the cinder.
"There! It's just a tiny speck."
Wellington regarded the mote with
amazement. ''Is that all? It felt as if
/ had Pixies Peak in my eye" Then
he waxed tender. "Oh, Lucretia, how
can ever"
But she drew away with a disdain-
full: "Give me back my hand, please"
"Now, Lucretia," he protested,
"don't you think you're carrying this
pretty far?"
"Only as far as Reno" she answered
grimly, which stung him to retort:
you'd better take the beam out of
your own eye, now that you've taken
the cinder out of mine," but she, not
Ing that they were the center Of inter.
est, observed: Cali the passengers are
enjoying this, my dear. You'd better
90 back to the cafe"
Wellington regarded her with a re-
vulsion to wrath. He thundered at
her: ':I will 60 back, but allow me to
inform you, my dear madam, that I'll
not drink another drop-just to sur
prise you"
! Mrs. Wellington shrugged her shoul-
ders at this ancient threat and Jimmie
stumbled back to his lair, whittier the
men followed him. Feeling sympathy
In the atmosphere, Little Jimmie felt
lmpelled to pour out his grief:
"Jellmen, I'm q brok'n-heartless
man. Mrs. Well'n'ton is a queen
among women, but she has temper Of
tarant-"
Wedgewood broke in: " say, old
boy, you've carried this ballast for
three days now, wherever did you get
IT."
Wellington drew himself up proud
~ for moment before be slumped
back into himself. "Well, you sea,
when I announced to . few friends
that I was about to leave Mrs. Wei
linton forever and that was going
out to-to-you know
+ Reno. We know. Well?"
We'll, q crowd Of my friends got up
. farewell sort Of divorce breakfast
and some Of EN- felt 20 very sad about
my divorce that they drank little too
much, and the rest Of my friends felt
70 very glad about my divorce, that
they drank little too much. And, Of
course, I had to join both parties"
And that breakfast" said Ashton.
''lasted till the train started, eh?"
Wellington glowered back triumph.