The Press., 1912-12-18
WEDDING STORIES
Experiences Grave and Gay at
 the Marriage Ceremony.
ODD BREAKS AND BLUNDERS.

the Heart of Happy Ex-Widow-A Pert Reply to "WiIt Thou PA Tragic Wait and It's Sequel.
 According to the stories told by sev- eral of Chicago's leading clergymen, wedding ceremonies do not always run any smoother than true love.
 People seem to act more insanely at a wedding than at any other time, save perhaps a flre," declared one pastor, ''and 1t Is usually the bridegroom who | gets the most 6ustered. It is seldom that a woman gets the responses mix ed as does the man. One time at a fashionable wedding where I was offi- ciating the bridegroom insisted upon saying in a loud and distinct voice, much to the amusement of his hearers, T take me this plight instead of the usual I plight thee my troth.
 Another time when was marrying a country couple at my home I asked the bridegroom the usual question, Wilt thou have this woman to be thy welded wifeT and he replied, with fire In his eye, What do you suppose we're here for eff 1 wouldn'tT
 "It was at a wedding in my church that the six year-old niece of the bride groom caused a ripple of laughter. With big eyes she watched the bridal procession come up the aisle, and as 1t neared the altar she noticed her uncle. who had come out of the ves- try and with his best man and me awaited the bride in the chancel. Up she jumped and, pointing a small fin T ger at the bridegroom, said in her shrill baby voice. oh, mother, if there isn't Uncle Rob with his best clothes on and his everyday noser She had been told by her uncle, who possessed an un- usually prominent nose. that when he got married it would be shorter.
 "One time after reading a ceremony the bridegroom handed me a five dol lar bill. saying. I'll give you two. Not understanding him, said, Thank you and put 1t into my pocket He touched me on the shoulder and again said. I'll give you two oh. you want changer inquired. He nodded and I handed him $3."
 One Imaginable wedding was that of a widow who married one of her boarders. She was a woman past for ty-fve, with all the airs of school girl, and amused all who knew her by her references on all occasions to her departed husband, John. In fact, John got to be a byword among all who knew the widow. Among the boarders was young fellow of twen- ty-hve, who fell in love with the fair relict of the sainted John, and In a short time the roomers were all tn- vited to attend wedding to be held Tn the parlOr.
 The widow was large. tall and stout and the bridegroom exceedingly small for a man. and when on the night of the wedding the widow appeared al the proper moment leading her pros pective husband into the parlor, much as a mother leads her little boy. ever the waiting clergyman had to suppress a smile. After the ceremony had beer read and congratulatory speeches were in order the erstwhile widow exclaim ed, with emotion. "Oh, if only my poor. dear John were here to see how happy l am at this momentw Only the perfect self control of the guests saved the situation.
 It was in an Er;S,r. | church that a superstitious bride tainted at the al tar Just as the bridegroom was about to put the ring on her finger his neTv ous, shaking fingers dropped it, and il rolled away across the floor. The bride, certain that some great calami. ty would overtake them, refused to go en with the services and then tainted After the delay of an hour or so she was prevailed upon to allow the cere- mony to be finished
 A Unitarian minister tells this story: "One time l was to read the service in my church in western state where licenses are not required, The church was filled. and the bridal party arrived on time, all save the bridegroom. For more than an hour we waited. the bride growing almost hysterical and the guests restless over a delay the reason for which was not suspected
 At last word was brought that the the party was ready, and l came out from the vestry, the organ pealed forth the wedding march, and the bride came up the aisle to the altar, pale and trembling, looking much diff ferent from the pretty. flushed girl knew.
 Imagine my surprise when the bride and best man stepped before me The man said a few whispered words l looked at the girl, and she nodded and l began the service that made the girl the wife of the best man. The bride was saved from mOrtiticati ton and the guests were not disappointed.
 Ut seems. the best man had been tr love with the girl. and when the bride groom did not come he quietly stepped in and got her consent to marry him believe she never heard directly from her recreant bridegroom, and bel marriage to the best man proved happy one" Chicago News.
 I Town.
 The late Sanders was can vassing Muu.n.la . 'ns for himself for governur He can, little settlement, not yet named.
 He met a man and said, "I am M.. bur F. Sanders"
 "Yes." said the man.
 "I am running for governor. Will you vote for me. my friendT
 No"
 We'll" said Sanders, producing bottle, twill you have drinkT
 You betr' said the man.
 And that is actually the way the town of Ubet got It's name.-Phlladel Dhia Saturday Evening Post
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 Many muscles are located at con siderable distance from the point where their force Is to be exerted and ara l cnnnected with the nnint of ODeratiOT