davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20
JAYHAWKER JOTsS

''All empty houses in town are now
FULL" reports the Americas Greeting.
Love is too. often adulterated with
money, believes the Overlook Citizen
The more experience in love affairs
one has, says Editor Bruce Of the Mar
quette Tribune, the bigger fool he be-
comes.
Told by the Pratt Union: She
Flee! He-You mean fly, don't you
She-Never mind what insect mean.
Just run. Pas coming.
An advertiser in the Rossville Re
porter announces that he has choice
fresh fruits in season, and ice cream
when the season is fit"
The Mildred Ledger credits this to a
Western Kansas exchange: lady set
four boiled eggs along with some fresh
eggs and Matched out four boiled
chickens. 9
A dog fight on the street Saturday
caused some excitement, reports the
Canton Pilot, and ended in the arrest
of one party who was turned loose by
the police judge.
1t is moeted question, remarks the
Harveyville Monitor, whether the Meth
odists removing the ban on dancing IS
a forward or backward step; anyhow,
it is a two-step.
Some excellent advice from. the Valley
Falls Farmers indicators: Don't wor-
TX too much about this presidential
campaign. The government will not
fail, even if your favorite candidate
is defeated.
A musical criticism by the Marquette
Tribune: The principal reason why
the ordinary mortal dislilres piano So
los is because the composers write them
mile long when forty rods would be
a great plenty.
Someone has truthful1y said that
nothing but a mint can make money
without advertising, remarks the Can
ton Pilot, and it continues: 1t might
be added that a mint couldn't do it,
if it didn't put it's competitors in jail
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20
LEGALIIARs.

All men concede that the lawyer lies,
lies Ike railroad map.
Lies in his mothers lap
Lies in his cradle, dreaming lies,
Lies to his mates at school,
Lies to the birds with his sbaited trap,
And the fish in the shady pool
He lies to the tailor and laundrynlan,
The butcher and grocer, too,
And lies to the landlord every time
mat his office rent comes due.
He lies to the woman he woos and weds.
ana the parson, who earns a fee,
Then lies to the doctor later on
When his family grows to three.
He lies to his client to get the case,
With an air that forbids remorse,
Then takes the case to the court and lies
Like the Trojans' wooden horse.
He lies in his pleadings wherein he prays
For a vain and false relief,
While the mfle-long paper he hands the
court
He lyingiy calls brief.
He lies like Turk to get on the bench,
And then, with evil eye,
Hoodwinks the goddess to help him make
The scales of Justice lie.
He Judges the pleadingS in the case
And the issues he has to try,
And falsely argues the case, and says
That "Injunctfons will not he."
He lies in congress from day to day
With an Anantas air,
And then goes home and prevaricates
To the people who sent him there.
He lies when he runs for President
And lies about how he wins,
And lies when he takes his solemn oath,
And falsehoods flood begins.
He lies long as his breath holds out,
Then dies. and lies in state.
And lies in his grave till the Judgment
Day,
Then lies at Saint Peters gate,
While the Lords injunction is read to him
Barring him out of the Skies
Then goes below, with his kith and kin,
To lie with the Father of Lies:
HENRY NJ. ROBY, M. D.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

passed through the most trying winter
for 80 years. In some counties, there
were two successive wheat failures
and in almost 80 counties there was
almost a total failure of corn and
other forage crops. Such season
sent thousands of farmers to the banks
and to friends for cash loans and to
will be forced to call on the banks fol-
loans or the wholesale houses for
credit.
Interest rates seem high, and it is
not unbelievable that many were forced
to pay, to 'curbstone' bankers, moi
rectly, usurious rates of interest. The
average man does not object to, pay
the day his note falls due. Unquestion-
ably, thousands of families denied
themselves many of. the common COM
forts and necessities of life, to aVolo
borrowing more money. A small mort
gage on a big farm is one thing, BUT
a big mortgage on ones small farm
his homestead, hangs like a milestone,
and like an evil spectre haunts man $.
waking as well as his sleeping hours.
why should not Kansas inaugurate
a system of loans through some re
fund, handled by the county
or the county treasurer
to meet such an emergency as TINS
bankers, real estate men
and politicians objected strenuously &c
all suggestions about a special session
Of the legislature, but did they relieve
the distressed condition of the small
farmer with credit or loans with low
interest? If our constitution needs
changing before this can be done, let's
change it,. But it doesn't need chang
ing half so much as do the hearts OF
some men"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20
GLOBE SIGHTS
BY THE ATCHIsoN GLOBE.

When peace is patched each side claims
the other surrendered.
Why should man commit bfgamy
when trouble is available at so much
lower prices
Clarion Notes are the cheapest sort or
patriotism, granting that they qualify at
all.
Excepting the preachers, the man who
argues religion is likely to be pretty
young quite old.
Probably the most contrary person is
the woman who won't get divorce from
a man she hates.
While the price of health is about the
only one which isn't soaring, how few are
willing to pay it until they begin 30
lose it,
1t must be a great trial to town chit
dren to move to the country where they
can't run to the neighbors' every five
minutes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20
QUAKER 1IEDrTATToNs.
[From the PhiladeIphia Record.1

From the Philadelphia Record.1
Many a leading citizen has the police
after him.
1t takes the spur OF the moment tc
make some men win.
All work and no play really make Jach
a dull old man.
Man wants but little here below. but
he wants II right away.
The man who kills time must be the
fellow who takes life as joke.
Tommy-"Pop. what is horse sense"
Tommy's Pop-"The ability to say nay
my son.
Hoax-"Does Pnewrich drive q fourth.
nand?" Joax-"Drtve one2 Why, ne
can't even tie one
There is only one thing more unpIeas
ant than the gun we didn't know wai
loaded, and that Is the man we meet I'M
der similar circumstances.
Blobbs-"If you were going in for music
which instrument would you choose%
Slobbs-"Well, I've always thought
would like to be a -soloist on cash reg
ister."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Expert testimony is seldom worth az
much as it costs.
X X
Anything that would please all the
people would not be very valuable
AS a matter of fact, fair, fat and
forty is a rare combination among
women.
Almost every man who owns hrst-
class automobile thinks it's the best IN
his town.
There's yellow streak in every man.
although many are able to keep theirs
covered I'D for a long time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20
DAFFYDHS
BY q. NOALL..

If chickens mother took cold would
the henhawk?
q have you, pail have you'll That
was certainly neat one.)
If they found hay at the North Pole
would the EsQuirnau?
(Take that! And thatl. And that!!!
You bad boyd
If a teapot sang would the kettle
drum?
= Oadies and gentlemen!e The next
song will be q dance.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20
by THE WAY
IN HARVEY PARsONs.

| It is easy enough, now, to see why
Old Doc Wiley jumped his job. He
knew that after the Arrival he would
be too DANCED busy to fool with
laws.
Bert Taylor of the Chi Trib favors
moist weather because it prevents the
drying out of smoking tobacco. And
although he holds. among his assocf-
ates in the Trib office, the reputation
of being crab, he must be something
of an optimist to be able to get any
satisfaction out of moist weather
food and an optifnist at the same
time. 1t therefore follows that BIT
is not the crab he is advertised.
Our chee-iId has a crouch. The
only satisfaction our chee-ild gets out
of the recent school track meet is that
a number of other schools failed to
nail first prize.
1t is a little early to suggest that
you do your Christmas shopping early,
so we will fill our advice department
with suggestions that you take slant
at the straw hat crop and SWAT THE
DANDELION-.
Rev. Richeson is putting in his last
prano tone of voice and tearing up
the Jail bedclothes. But, If the. evil
dence was not misleading, that is
about all you could expect of Rev.
Richeson.
Another New York murderer has
been released from prison on consid-
Grafton that he stop drinking. The
moral seems to be: Before killing
some person, get soused, then you can
name Demon Rum as a co-defendant,
and lay most of the blame upon him.
Now that Strawberries are about
two bits a bushel, our back yard patch
has produced a green, pithy specimen
of the fruit. Two years ago we
raised 20 cents worth of tomatoes
with only $7.S5 worth of city water.
But there is no chump like a town
farmer, and the yard will probably
produce about enough cabbage to
make a kraut sandwich next season.
Roosevelt is now telling it to Ohio.
Later he will be permitted to tell it
to Sweeney. %
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
[From the New York Press.J

[From the New York Press.J
hat a woman likes most about SUM-
mer clothes is they aren't really clothes.
The average boy promises to be man
OF might, and then again he might not.
Poets are born, not made, SO it is not
their fault, but the misfortune of others.
It's about as foolish never to do any
thing foolish as always to do only foolish
things. <
When girl says she danced every
dance at party, it's sign she would
have if she had been asked.
The money man loses gambling would
have made him mighty mad to have
bought his wife clothes with.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

In the event of the election of Theo-
dore Roosevelt to the presidency for a
third term, which is the most inproba-
Bile political possibility that could be
imagined, he would certainly have a
merry time stopping the suits agains-
the trusts which have been instituted
by the Taft administration but which
cannot be concluded for two or three
wears to come
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

Neither the federal government mol
the states directly interested should be
content with merely patching up the
levees that were ripped open by the
Mississippi. Every effort should be
made to make them stronger and more
substantial than they ever have been.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

On Saturday of nine games between
the leaders and the tail enders in this
league. In the National League the
difference between the teams in SINH
lar positions was IL games; in the
American League it was 16 games and
in the American Association, IL games.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

Considerable sentiment appears tic
prevail among the property owners on
North Kansas avenue for the extension
of the white way system in their di-
rection. 1t would certainly be a won
derful Improvement for the North
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

And the general conference Of the
Methodist Episcopal church seems to
have about as much difficulty in select
ing bishops as do the big political
parties in choosing their presidential
candidates
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

In another way is the usual order
reversed. Some Tulsa club women
sent armsful of roses to the court room
where a murder trial was in progress.
but to the presiding judge and not the
T1risoners
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

Themistocles Pheodosupha1oph has
has been arrested by the New York
police for lettering. How could man.
who had to carry around such a name,
be expected to be active?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

There is at least one redeeming fea-
ture to the Socialist party. No wrang
ling ever occurs in it as to who will
be its presidential candidate. MI.
Eugene V. Debs has a life tenure on
the nomination. Mr.. Bryan, and Col.
Roosevelt, also. must look on him with
much envy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

For the past six weeks Colonel Roose-
welt has been iterating and reiterating
that President Taft's idea of consti-
tional government is "a government
administered by Messrs. Lorifne1, Gug-
genheim, Barnes, Gallinger and their
like in defiance of the will of the peo-
pie, etc. Could any statement be
more ridiculous or unfair?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

with each succeeding year an anna
teur athletic record. or two, or three,
is smashed. But a time must come
soon when the records will be such
that it will be beyond human endur-
ance and endeavor to better them. VIII
interest in amateur athletics then de-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
Telegraph report of that great news or
Ranization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka
The news is received in The State Jour-
nal building over wires for this sole puf-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

You say you have a musical educa-
tion?'' asked Senator Sorghum. Yes
replied the young man who is learning
politics But I don't expect it to be OF
much assistance in this business" You
can't tell There may be so much objec-
ton to a mans receiving campaign con-
fributions that every candidate will have
to be his own brass band.
Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

Soma other goat" will have to be
found for the failures of the natural
gas service. The pumping station at
Sciplo is being dismantled.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

Champ Clark got the bulk of the
delegates in Iowa Professor Wilson
got the rest. But Mr.. Bryan got the
big cheers at the Democratic state con-
yention there. .....-..s.s.. ... ....
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

From the suit for it's dissolution fled
by the government against the alumni
mum trust. it is evident that this con-
Germ is no light AFFAIR, regardless of
the raw material it works with.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

Among the socialists, the conserva-
tives who are opposed to direct ac-
tom or violence are characterized by
their more vigorous brethren as TIL
'.YelloW faction"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

In the valleys along the Mississippi
that have been flooded, there will be
some rich farming during the next few
years. if the old Father of Waters
does not get too obstreperous again.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

DR.. Wiley, apparently, is not going
to take any chances that his son and
heir will not be physically fit, at least,
to be a president of the United States.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

There seems to be a growing senti-
ment among the Democrats all over the
country that Mr.. Bryan's chances to
land a presidential nomination were
never better.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

All of the teams in the Western
League appear to be more evenly
matched at this period of the season.
than are the teams in the larger
leagues. There was only difference
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

THE PENsION LAW

1t16 G1NClON Law.
So far as we learn the old soldiers
are we'll pleased with the new pension
law. 1t has passed both houses and
been signed by the president 1t is
good news if this bill is adequate. The
war has been over for 47Ayears and if
old soldiers the time is at hand. 1t
is unfair for men who went through
SO much to be dependent on jobs for
their support. The government ought
to give them pensions big enough to
make them comparatively independ-
ent The people do not begrudge these
pensions. They know the money could
not be better spent. The remaining
old soldiers ought to be provided for
so well that they will want for MOTH
ing. The list is large but it will grow
small soon enough. The friends of
the old soldiers feel justice should be
melted out now or never and that is
why they are glad to have this new
UNDESIRABLE ALIENS.
The decision of Judge Hanford of
the United States district court at
Seattle, has aroused the ire of the
Socialists and an effort is to be
made to reverse the decision by
which a foreigner who comes to this
country and undertakes to enforce
ideas that are plainly in discord with
our national constitution. is not en-
titled to citizenship. 1t is somewhat
of an innovation in the matter of court
decisions on this particular subject,
but it will doubtless receive the COM
mendation not only of the higher
courts, but a large majority of the
people of this country who are diamet-
rically opposed to the introduction Of
anarchistic theories into our laws and
into the industrial affairs of our peo-
pie. This is country of freedom,
but not one of license to enuncfate
and perform acts contrary to our con-
stitution.-Clay Center Republican.
A SALARY GRAB.
A Chicago judge decided that hus-
band must divide his salary with his
wife, and that she is not compelled to
beg for the division. 1t is the hus-
bands duty, the judge says to hand
the money over. and not make it nee
essary for the wife to go through his
pockets. But will the wives take kind
ly to this inhibition placed upon them
that deprives them of the right to GO
through the husbands pockets? Isn't
1T more fun to get the money that way
than to have it handed over to them?
Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

Old Doc Wiley jumped his job. He
knew that after the Arrival he would
be too DANCED busy to fool with q
little side line like the pure food
laws.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

We hold that no man can. be sea
food and an. optifnist at the same
time. 1t therefore follows that BIT
is not the crab he is advertised
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-05-20

Our chee-iId has a crouch. The
only satisfaction our chee-ild gets out
of the recent school track meet is that
a number of other schools failed to
nail first prize.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1912-03-15
A BIG BUSINESS DEAL
KieWe(S Purchase BouraSSa
and vertin Properties on
Broadway East

One deal was closed this week and
another practically closed whereby the
JAG. Kiewel Brewing company becomes
the owners of the Jos. Bourassa build:
ing and the John Vertin property on
Broadway east. Considerations tor the
Bourassa property. which is occupied
by the Frank B0urassa saloon, was
$l2, COO, The Ve1tin property, hich
was formerly occupied by the Urban
ski saloon which burned out, will be
thoroughly repaired and q new front
put in at unce, together with q steel
ceiling, and, will be leased for either q
grooeiY or ladies' furnishing store, ap,
plications having been made for, the
bu,l1ing: :for. such lines Of business j.;
Mr. Bourassa has decided to sell hia
residence on seventh street ana expects
to leaxe. with bis family in JuDe for
tho Mest where be may decide to To-
cate;i:. "A daughter graduates from tho
local high this spring and q son from
the graded schools. ~
Mr.. and Mrs. Bourassa have been
residents Of this city since 1889, when
they. moved here and he entered the
employ of Richard Bros. Until a few
yealp ago he conducted the saloon now
run ;by his son, Frank, in the building
which, he constructed and which he
has just sold. o. ~ j.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1912-03-15
5000 ROAD WORK AID


"A letter has been received by the
county asditor from the stats highway
commissions, stating that under chap
ter ter IS Laws Of 1oii Morrison county IL
appertioned s., 600, available July /,
1918 as state aid tor road WORK OF .
permanent nature. To secure this aid
the county must expond an equal
amount in Toadw0rk.
The assistance Of A. j. Fenn for this
district IN surveys, engineering ser
wees, plans and estimates is offered
gratis by the state.
Plans for bridge work on which the
county expects state aid must be sub
mltted to the state highway commits
sion for approval
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1912-03-15
HOLD o. I DISTRICT |! Met
,lAlIk Rey,ll lals,tt SUNDAY
= i ! = % ! zvss.iaG &
s.1 -lf1 l.0eaQl :,

j. The Morr,soa County Sunday school
Association? win hold district rally
at Royalton Sunday Il March 17th, 4
number of Sunday Schools Of the
county will send delegates. Following
is the program:
:. AFTERNOON SESSION
8 9:O0-Devotiona Service. Rev. Court
8:15-Symposium ''What the State
- Sunday School Standard should
do for the schools of this dis
In lettering organization. Miss Axtell
In emphasizing workers meeting.
.................... .Mr. Court
In pushing the cradle roll. Mrs Ayers
In training teachers and workers..
INSTRUMENTATION. Miss Magee
In building up home departments.
INSTRUMENTATION. Mrs. Werner.
In organizing teen age classes.
....... ........... .MrS. ADAMS
In organizing adult classes =:
In emphasizing decision day Adams
In; gathering Statistics. Mr.. Battles
In bringing delegates to convention
..........,,........>.. Miss Westlake
4:4o-Mnsio in the Ii Sunday IS School '' ~
................;.:.. :. Mrs: Douglas
4:50-The Sleeping :diant-TLeIsy :
s*.. Sunday School. -. ::.Mr. Werner
EVENING" q -, >:.s: ~ ::zz;;cj
Z 7:30-Song .Service..... Rev. Adams
Z :45-Reportsy etc :. .:;:..............7Fs 4:
= :OO-Graded Lessons ....... MIR. Weimer
8:15-Address-Practical work Ia
:. the elementary department. :.
t'" 80 ~: S2<n <$e ~ ->,,arn,,
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1912-03-15

Following are those who have fled :
Mayor-A. H. Vernon. Simon P.
Brick, j. w. Cros>field.
Clerk-Vlctor Schaiiern, z. Charter,
J. P. Lauerman.
Assessor-Lyman Signor.
Consta ble--Jos H. Schwalier, Henry
Bentfsld.
Alderman at t-large-George Kiewel.
Alderman First ward-C. A. Carl
son. -,
Alderman Second ward for years
Dana Brown.
Alderman Second ward for l year
A. F. Kosloskv.
Alderman Third ward-E. A. Loucks.
Alderman Fourth ward-H. j. La.
Fond, VIM. w. Parshall. ..>
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1912-03-15

Treasurer-Chas. Swanson: -. T..
Assessor Carlson. Justice of
the peace-Frank Nelson. j. :.
Constable-Wm. S1ogren. M. 81:
Benson. ~<.,-~~s - so
Ovvrseers Of highways s-Olof Ander.
son, road district No. l.; Louis Larson,
road district No. ;2.5vsz;~. .s.
BUCKMAN >..::
Supervisor 3 years-Johu Kelzenberg
Clerk. A. =DeRgel:: ~ =
Treasurer-Josepn Hortsoh: = s.:
Justice of the5peaoa-Js T. Hesch.
:Constable-1.4 An Heeeh: :, ~ :''.':
TOWN or sCANDIA VALLEY. II
Suvervisor 8 years-S.rJ. smut. 44t'aGf g;
!. Treasurer-Hans. .:Naatnud.;;lyE -.
: Clerk-EuRenazl) azl)ayis., ysls*.: =
}. Justice-T. NJ. GoodyinW + = ~,
Constable Theman Oleson,;%sz s.
!: swANv1LEE TOWN -, &
Supervisory. +. jacobson. :''': r. i
Clerk. F.: Pearson. -.
Treasurer-Wm. Beseman.' ...>.. - 2. !.
TOWN or SWAN RIVER D..
supervisor-Frank Krazel,,s .e.::
Clerk-Antoa Koziol. " 49,; = :,
Treasurer-4eo. Polashik:: ::'*" y:
Justice-L. N. Larson, Paul Jabas. 2s.
Constable John Manka. &t:..:.
@,:s.z. :s ! r RIPLEY y s =. ,3r ;i:.
supervisor 8 yeals-Peter .Kronbeck:
Clerk-Andrew Larson. >. !: H~&:ll, y
Treasurer--Leon Dugas.. ~
'.f.nnefn hla-T am DnUs4a =. =: = 80 NJ,
q Miss RbsA. Bracke, who is convaleec.
ing from q severe attack of 1nflamma.
tory rheumatism. was able % be out