The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-06-28
JAYHAWKER JOT.S

A sandwich slot machine has been
| invented, notes the Ottawa Republic,
and it adds: For railroad eating
houses, a rock crusher goes with it,
A ticket and platform for the new
party as suggested by the lola Regis
welt. For Vice President-Old Bill
Finn. Platform-Both ends against
the middle.
Disappointment is expressed by the
Parsons Sun over the way Road
Amundsen, the discoverer of the
South Pole, is failing to live up to his
opportunities so far as the chautauqua
circuit is concerned.
William Allen White wants time to
find out where he is at and has re-
signed as national committeeman from
Kansas in order to get his bearings,
and it makes this significant comment:
Indian no lost; wigwam lost"
That a real poet has a few trials
and tribulations is evidenced by this
wall from Walt Mason in the Emporia
Gazette: The man who really wants
work can always find something to do.
During the past few days an old and
world weary poet of Emporia has re-
ceived letters asking him to write: A
song eXalting Champ Clark, to be sung
at the Baltimore convention; a college
yell for an institution OF learning in
Pennsylvania; Grand Army sons
. that will fit the tune of "Dixie;" some
"Post ToaSties'' jingles to enable a boy
of twelve to earn certain prizes offered
for such; an Introduction for a volume
of poems to be published by a Massa-
chusetts bard, and a poem celebrating
the golden wedding of a couple he
never heard of. In none of these let
ters was there any hint of payment.
Speaking of lightning rods" says
the Drover's Telegram, the other day
a farmer died who for forty years pro-
tected his barn with rod. The agent
explained to him how the rod acted
as a magnet to draw the electricity
from the air and conduct it into the
ground. The farmer was told that
the rod would keep his barn from be
ing struck, so he bought it. But he
reasoned that if the rod really at
tracted electricity. it should be placed
SO as to draw it away from and not to
the barn; consequently he run it
down an apple tree standing about 100
feet from the barn. For forty years
the lightning fiirted with the tree and
kept the soil so loose about the roots
that some famous yields OF apples were
had. In the meantime the lightning
never got closer than 100 feet to the
barn. The old farmer has gone to
heaven and the son says he would
rather lose an arm than the rod"
Some of the trials and fluctuations
of the thirsty as recCu united by the
Jefferson County Tribune: A Valley
Falls young man has made his last trip
to Atchison for beer. Hereafter he
will send for it by the case and have
it come by express or freight. The last
time he was in Atchison he had half a
dozen bottles wrapped up in a paper
and lying on seat in front of him.
A young man from Nortonville was in
the act of taking a drink out of a bot
tie of whisky when the conductor
came along the aisle, snatched the
bottle from the young man and threw
it out of the window. The paper on
4, r,<,Yr- l. l.
the CON seeing the familiar sign
heaved the beer where the whisky had
gone. When the train arrived at
Cummings one of the young men
aboard thought it would be all right
If he had his head out of the window
when he took his drink and was doing
well at this, but just as the train
started some thirsty resident of Cum
mings grabbed the bottle and the last
of the liquid was gone. It is said that
the smoker of the night Santa Fe on
nights out of Atchison is al
ways loaded. but that the conductor
is equal to the occasion.