The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-12-13
A WOMAN'S OBSERVATIONS.
(By Edna K Wooley.)
How She Trained Him.

First, know your husband. Then
Mrs. Blank knows her husband.
And this is a true tale of how she
trained him in one particular.
Mr.. Blank believes that husband
and wife should be companions, pro-
vided the wife does everything the
husband wants her to do and enjoys
the kind of things he enjoys.
For some time he has been insisting
that she should be his partner in his
evening enjoyments, which consist
largely of prowlings, drinks and leafs"
in the bright light district.
"A fellows wife ought to be a good
PAL" he explained to Mrs Blank.
That's the way she keeps him out Of
mischief. Be a sport. Don't be an
everlasting wet-blanket, like so many
of the fellows wives
''Oh, very well,' quoth Mrs. Blank
and proceeded to get herself up ac-
cordingly.
She powdered her face to a challly
whiteness. She Redeemed her lips un-
til they looked like a bloody splotch
on her whitened face. She penciled
her eyebrows, piled on a lot of extra
hair, donned a gown that showed as
much of her skin as she believed the
police would stand for, with a skirt
SO tight that it showed the undulation
Of every muscle when she moved. She
borrowed a daring hat from an act
reSS friend, also pair of long earrings
that made her look perfectly devilish,
and finished with a dash of some pow
erful perfume.
81 want to be a credit to you," she
explained, in response to her hus-
bands surprised stare when he be-
held the vision.
He looked trifle dubious, but help
ed her into taxi and they bowled
merrfly along to stop at the brilliant
door of downtown grillroom.
ct n h
ly remarked, in high tones, which car
ried across several tables: MY. but
I'm dry! What'll we have, Billy -
IAN egg lemonade for you and a gin
fizz for me- firmly announced Mr..
Blank.
Very well. SIR said the waiter.
But Mrs. Blank interrupted
II should say noti'' she exclaimed,
in the same gay high tones. Nothing
short of whisky straight goes with
me, Billy. Bring me a bottle of it,
waiter"
The waiter departed and Mr.. Blank
glared upon his spouse.
What do YOU know about whisky
straight" he Missed. You'll be drunk
in five minutes
''Who cares laughed the lady op-
posite him. ''I mean to have it, if
have to get drunk to get it saw
troduce him, Billy. I saw him nod to
you"
IT will like -' agreed Billy.
without budging. Here's your whis-
ky straight coming, and don't you dare
touch it,
But she did
She took what the waiter poured
into the glass, and she took it in one
gulp, though it nearly strangled her
and she reached a trembling hand for
the water.
Were going home" said Blank.
Were not. I'm having too good a
time" said Mrs. Blank. Whereupon
she tipped back her chair and planted
two dainty feet on the edge of the
table. Wen not go home till morn
ing" she announced. IRA, la la
But she did for Blank took her by
the arm and hustled her into a taxi,
and for two subsequent hours he spoke
unkindly and profanely to his maud
lin wife.
But, as I said, she knew her man.
The cure was complete, though dras-
tic. He never again invited her to be
a good sport, and his grillroom asso-
ciates have missed hin " acauston1ed
haunts ever since.