davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13
PIMPLEs COVERED HIS BACK

my troubles began along in the
summer in the hottest weather and
took the form of small eruptions and
itching and kind of smarting pain.
1t took me mostly all over my back
and kept getting worse until finally
my back was covered with a mass Of
pimples which would burn and itch at
night so that l could hardly sta2d tt.
This condition kept getting worse and
worse until my back was solid mass
of big sores which would break open
and run. My underclothing would be
a clot of blood.
81 tried various remedies and salves
for nearly three years and l was not
getting any benefit. 1t seemed l was
in eternal misery and could not sleep
on my back or lean on chair. ! was
finally given a set of the Cuticura
Remedies ana inside of two weeks
could see and feel a great relief
kept on using Cuticura Soap, Ointment
and also the Resolvent, and in about
three or four months time my back
was nearly cured and felt like neIv
being. Now / am in good health and
no sign of any skin diseases and l
am fully satisfied that Cuticura Rene
dies are the best ever made for skin
diseases. / would not be without
them" (Signed) w. A. Armstrong,
Corbin, Kan, May &c, 1911. Although
Cuticura Soap and Ointment are sold
by druggists and dealers everywhere,
a sample of each, with 32-page book,
will be mailed free on application to
"Cuticura," Dept. L, Boston.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13

The woman who keeps house" has
enough to do when she is in good, sound
health, but if she is weak, tired all the
time, and suffering from morn to night
with an aching back. homework becomes
q heavy burden.
Many women who were afflicted in this
way say that Doan's Kidney Pills have
made life easier for them.
Women are subject to kidney disease.
The clothing they wear, the work they do,
the worry and strain IF bearing and rear
ing children, the lack of proper exercise;
all tend to it.
Backache, bearing-down pains, headache,
dizzy spells, faintness, fits of blues" and
other troubles often thought TO be peculiar
to the sex, are found frequently in kidney
disease. When any one of these ills APP
pears, together with diseolored condi-
ton of the kidney secretions, with passages
too frequent, scanty or burning. just make
up your mind that your kidneys are weak,
and be quick to help them.
Doan's Kidney Pills have helped great
many weak women through the trying
times when kidney disease means so much
added misery. They do not disturb the
stomach or bowels and contain no poison
Gus, DANGEROUS nor habit-forming drugs.
Doan's are harmless for children too.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13
Es+ne- WAS Alarmed

Esther, a f1ve-year-old daughter OF
North side parents, heard much about
the dangers of diphtheria, and was
eager to observe every precaution to
keep from coming into contact with
it, that she and her two brothers
might not catch it,"
One day she insisted on going to
the grocery on the corner to spend
her penny, and was warned by her
mother not to stop and play with any
children she might meet on the way
After having been gone only few
minutes, she rushed into the house
much excited, exclaiming as she en-
tered:
Mamma, you must keel ose boys
away from Mr. AS house, cause they
have diphtheria and have a sign
up"
Her mother said; rs that so? What
does the sign say?"
1T says for SALE" said Esther
Indianapolis News,
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13
AbRaH9N k|NQO|lNS SUBSTITUTE
BppTHMNDJ CNRMD


az skT. Staples, and he was afterward
mustered into the service.
This is about all the information !
can give you with ->ference to the
matter, and would S.ggest that If you
desire to learn anything about the
private life Of Mr.. Staples you might
write to the postmaster or some otb7r
person at Stroudsburg, Pa, wr:r9
Mr.. Staples lived aid where he died
January IL, 1883"
(signed) j. l. DAVENPORT.
Commissioner.
There are several people still living
in Stroudsburg who knew Staples and
remember that to him belonged the
unique distinction OF representing
Lincoln on the field OF battle. Among
their number are j. T. Palmer. post
master and principal of the public
school; G. l.. Drake. editor of the
Stroudsburg Times, and Representa-
tive A. Mitchell Palmer of Pennsyl-
vania. 1t was characteristic of Lin
coin that he kept the matter from the
public press, and like modesty
seems to have imposed silence on the
young soldier who served his country
so we'll
One does not have to make a very
exhaustive study of Lincolns charac-
which led him to send a substitute to
represent him in the scenes of the
bloody drama then being enacted
throughout the land. His conscience
was not of that easily satisfied variety
which contents itself with allowing
INDUCING in exertion for the common
good His was the hand which was
steering the Ship of State through
tempest and crash of hostile guns, yet
great as was the task assigned him.
he perceived with the eagle eye that
watched the course of action, post
still untitled, an unoccupied niche
where combatant could be placed to
strike in behalf of the Union. To that
post he resolved to appoint a repre-
sentative, that he might be practical
ly in personals he was already in
was done quietly, in that simple, unos-
tentatious manner that distinguished
all of Lincofn's acts, whether in Off.
cial or private life. He never played
to the gallery, and the verdict of his
own conscience was all he cared
about.
While this is probably the only case
in history where the leader of ma
, tion sent a substitute to fill his place
in the ranks of fighting men, sort of
precedent may be said to be found
in the custom, but recently fallen into
disuse, of appointing a kings cham
pion" who was supposed to offer his
body in opposition to any challenger
of the reigning monarch of Great
Britain. Until the accession of the
late King Edward VII. to the crown
of England, this functionary was a
member of the royal encourage When.
ever the new king was publicly crown
ed the champion" appeared before
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13

into. The detective business is not
bad"
The widow laughed.
And the headwaiter at a restau-
rant makes fifty dollars a week.
She laughed again.
Would you rather see me in one
of those occupations than doing moth
ing?"
q certainly should. Then I'd
change my mind about your being d
sissy"
Good You shall change it,"
Meanwhile. drop in occasionally
and renew your proposal. can al
ways appreciate bit of humor"
Great Scotts She calls it humor!
groaned the bachelor as he left the
house. Il must have her or die, and
yet she won't see anything but humor
in it,"
Count Luigi called the next day
He had been rather dilatory in get
ting around to it, as he had had con
siderable trouble in ascertaining the
widows financial standing. When
the report came that she was worth
about 100000 he ordered his auto
around and commanded his chauffeur
to break all speed laws.
Count Luigi was an Italian count.
He owned castles in Italy Some
were built on peaks and crags. that
he might hear the wind moan
around the gables; and some were
on the seashore, where the roar of
the mad waters could be heard as a
count sat in his library and smoked
and slipped a cocktail.
Count Luigi wanted a wife. but not
rich one. The poorer she was the
better. She would then appreciate
his tens of millions far more. or
course. if he should chance to be
loved by rich woman he would
have to make the best of it. but
never. never, would he consent to
use one single silver of her money.
The count got this much off in a
twenty-minute call. The widow
Dareforth was charmed - not tco
much so. but moderately charmed.
She had always wanted to live in an
Italian castle ane have bananas
right at hand. Besides, Italy is the
place where the pure olive oil comes
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13
DANGER of a FOREIGN Spouse.

One of the most prominent college
professors took unto himself as wife a
very charming and highly cultured
German lady who is exquisitely par
ticular about all small matters.
Several years ago, just after She had
come to live in this country, she was
ever on the qui vive for new forms of
expression.
One night the professor came home
worn out with the troubles = Of
commencement. AS he was dress
ing to attend a very formal reception
he remarked:
Il wish we weren't going to this
shindig."
"Shindig," repeated his wife; what
is that?'
It's the sort Of thing we're go
ing to tonight" answered her hus-
band.
At the close of very enjoyable
evening the professor heard his wife
saying: 20, Mrs. p, have-so much
enjoyed your shindig "-Harper's Mag.
azine.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13

The Title of Countess
tcoDyrisht. 1911. by Associated Literary Press.)
By LAWRENCE ALFRED CLAY

When a man is jolly bachelor OF
thirty-when he belongs to three or
four clubs-when he is liberal with
his money and is familiarly called
Fred by every one, how is any one
going to take him seriously? IL
can't be done He can not get credit
for being more than half in earnest
Such a man was Fred NEVIS, and
now and then he found 1t embarrass-
ing not to be credited with serious
ness
When he dropped in to see the
widow Dareforth one afternoon and
offer her mis- hand and heart. it was
rather embarrassing to receive the
reply:
ITS a matter you just happened
to think of"
r'Pon my soul. but have loved You
for-for-''
For thirty long seconds"
For whole year"
Poor man. How you must have
thrashed around nights
But won't you believe nle?"
mo, sir. Even If | did. / should
say no."
But what's the trouble?"
Mr. Nevins, / married one lah-de-
dab man, and / don't want another.
If marry again, it won't be sissy,
You've got money and you've got
brains, and you are throwing them
both away You are nonentity out
side your circle"
"Oh, it's that I'm not in a profess
sion or working at trader" he
queried
Just that. Just idling Nyour time
away. Just being a sissy Of a man.
You may find some women to marry
you, but | sha'n't credit her with
good sense"
by George! but l don't amount to
much. do I?' laughed Fred. "Come to
think of it. l ought to seek job at
something"
And be told that you couldn't
earn ten dollars week."
Perhaps! Say. now. I'm going to
be different. I'm going to make a
new start. Let's see what | can go
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13
Frenchman Processes TO Be Able 4
Cure rheumatism With Series
of Tappings.

Hast thou no hammer for build
ing2" Carlyle somewhere indignantly
asks a great sceptic, Voltaire. be
heye. A doctor or a healer in Paris
has hammer for curing rheumatism,
and seems 70 be making a fortune
with IL. The rush of patients to get
hammered By him is stupendous. The
house in which he has his consulting
fat is completely blocked and the
queue often stretches downstairs right
out into the street. The police have
10 take special measures. as in the
case of benefit as iheater. The
landlord is now seeking an inlunctfcn
TO have his too popular tenant eject
ed The house has become uninha BIT
able for all the other tenants. The
staircase is impossible. ard the lift il
monopolized by the pzfieEfss. These
are described as a motley crowd. be-
cns.ag % al classes u society The
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13
ChiId's Reasoning.

81 can't tell you anything about my
grandpa" said solemn little Eustace,
Questioned by happier comrade as to
his more recent ancestor, because
never had any. All my grandparents
died before l was born.
But you had grandparents just the
same. dear" interpolated listening
adult. THE fact that they died before
you were born doesn't alter the fact
that they were your grandparents"
But if our father and mothers had
died before we were born they
wouldn't have been our fathers and
mothers, would they?" the wondering
child questioned so l don't see how
what you say can be true"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13
THE CARELESS GROCER
6lundered, and Great Good Came of IL

A careless grocer left the wrong
package at Michigan home one day
and thereby brought a great blessing
to the household
Two years ago was a sufferer from
stomach troubles, so acute that the
effort to digest ordinary food gave NE
great pain, and brought on condition
of such extreme nervousness that ]
could not be left alone. ! thought l
should certainly become insane. / was
so reduced in flesh that vas little bet
ter than a living skeleton. The doc
tors failed TO give rne relief and de-
SPARED of recovery.
One day our groceryman left a
package of Grape-Nuts food by mis-
take, so l tried some for dinner / was
surprised TO find that it satisfied my
appetite and gave me no distress what
ever. The next meal ate of it again.
and to be brief. / have lived for the
past year almost exclusl vely on Grape
Nuts. It has proved to be a most
healthful and appetizing food, per-
fectly adapted to the requirements OF
my system.
"Grape-Nuts is not only easily d.
gested and assimilated, but / find that
since have been using it ! am able
TO eat anything else my appetite fan
cies, without trouble from indiges-
ton. The stomach trouble and ner-
vousness have left me, have regain
ed my plumpness and my views Of
life are ne longer desponsent and
gloomy.
Other members Of my family. espe-
cially my husband, whose old enemy,
the heartburn has been vanquished)
have also derived great benefit from
the use OF Grape-Nuts food and we
think no morning meal complete with
out il" Name given by Postum Co,
Battle Creek, Mich.
There's a reason and IT is ex-
planned in the little BOOK, ~The Road
10 MELVILLE. in pks-.
Ever read the above Iefterg new
one appears frcIn time 10 time. They
are genuine trnes and fall Of human
interest
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13

from after it has been shipped over
there by the Cotton Seed trust Be
sides. again, it would be so nice TO
have a husband who could swear
by simply Struggling his shoulders.
/ Yes, the count left a pleasant i'm
| preston behind, and four days later,
/ when he invited Mrs. Dareforth to
dine with him at a restaurant. chap
eroned by her aunt. the invitation
was accepted.
| Mr.. Fred Nevins met them at the
door and conducted them to table
in the most ceremonious way. He had
got place as headwaiter That is,
/ he was to have a week to make good
in. He did not smile The widow
was so astounded that she couldn't
have smiled, for cash down. The
aunt, who also knew Fred, had to
'wailow an olive or perish The only
one maintaining complacent de-
meanor was the count, and he
snapped his fingers at the head
waiter and said:
Fellow, see that my orders are
| oNtCAQSQ " Will pluOoS"
At that dinner the count grew con-
| fidential He was in America to buy
the right of patent flying machine
| for a million doIlars-~one he could
sell to his government for five mil
lion. He didn't need the four million
| but he was a charitable man He
would devote the profits of the deal
to orphan asylums. He was praised
and battered and on the way out to
the taxi he dared to press the widows
hand. At her door he dared to press
i it again.
1t was at his third call at the house
| that with simple shrug of the right
| shoulder he let the widow know that
he was in love with her. Then a
| shrug Of the left warned her that a
proposal might come at the next CALL
and that she had better get ready for
it.
1t would be ungallant to say that
! Mrs. Dareforth was ready for it, but
| it can be related that the proposal
| didn't come The count just ran in
| to say that he had bargained for the
ratent. but was short $4,000 cash.
He must raise it within two hours or
lose the four millions profit. He
would have money from Rome by
next steamer, and If the widow
would
She would and she did She was
| happy to give him check for the
amount needed, and the count shrug-
ged his gratitude with both shoulders
at once.
Two hours later Mr.. Fred Nevins
told her over the wire:
I've got the bounce at that res
taurant!"
"Of course you have" was the re-
ply. well. what now?'
I'm in the detective business.
Went into it only twenty minutes
ago, but have already struck a clew."
ITO what?"
TO Count Luigi"
What! What Fred Nevius. /
command you To-"
But he shut her off. and she had q
night of anxiety. Next forenoon Fred
came again. This time he said:
Hot on the traill"
What do you mean?"
4 Count Luigi. He got your check
cashed, but l hope to get him with
the goods on him."
Erred Nevins. have you gone
crazy"
| No answer. He was off again. Two
awful hours passed, and then came
the ring again.
Got him at lasti"
Got who?"
Count Luigi. Took him off the
steamer about to sail Got your $780,
900 back for you He was formerly
barber"
That night the jolly bachelor was
taken seriously Sor once. When he
had finished telling his story he said:
80 you can see how bad you need
a husband who is in the detective
business"
Yes was the long-drawn reply.
Which is me-"
"Y-e-si"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13
Ready for ANYTHING.

A popular neighbor had Just passed
to the great beyond in a rural Penn
sylvania community and the under
taker stood at the door of the home.
when he heard the following remarks
by the minister:
Thomas he ISIS dead. Maybe Joe Thorn
as he go to heaven up no know, und
maybe Joe Thomas he go to hell
down no know. but. mine bredren
und sisters. we must be brebared to
meet him."
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13
Has Novel Use for Hammer

bind. the lame and the halt. chiidrer
N arms, invalids on stretchers. the
aged and infrm walking with crutches,
MI the house all day All come to
nave their rheumatic" hammered
out of them The doctor taps the all
ing part gently with his instrument,
three times. like an auctioneer. and.
presto, the disease has vanished.
The court has not yet decided
whether the landlord win be justified
IN revoking the lease for the fat on
the ground that his house has been
turned into a hospital.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13

4 don't believe the misbranding
could be handled under the pure food
law" said DR. King. but Isidor W'ulf.
son might take the case"
n KiEs recalled that when Ben
Hur was Save on the Roman galley
he represented TO the overseer thai
keeping a galley slave chained 10 ole
side OF the ship all the time developed
him on one side only and that the
owner was not able to get tull yalse
received for his price for the save.
and that as a resalt the slaves Ne-e
shifted yeSalarss from one side OF the
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13

"lincoln's Substitute" From a Pho
tograph Taken at the Time He Went
to the Front in Lineoin's Stead.
In the ranks OF the Grand Army of
the Republic assured lac that they
were certain that ola Abe" was un-
represented in the ranks OF the BOYS
in blue, For all that ii seemed TO me
that the story was something more
than one of those romantic incidents
SO frequently quoted as having oc.
CURED in the lives of famous men aft
er they had passed over to the great
majority; incidents lending color TO
laudatory biographical sketches. but
rejected by the thoughtful historian
as beiGg formed of the stun dreams
are made of. Lincoln. with his ex-
allied ideals. his stern devotion to
duty, his undying love for the Union
and all that it represented, was ex-
actly the type of man to consider him
self at fault II he neglected to make
every possible sacrifice in his power
10 the cause he held dearer than life
/ correspondent with the federal au-
thorities at Washington on the sub
ject. but the replies / received did not
tend 10 bring me any closer to the
goal. Instead they asserted positively
that the reported tradition was entire
ly without foundation. a letter from
the war department stated emphatic
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13
Does History Repeat Itself?

book in the history OF legislation In
very recent days we have suffered q
reaction from the formality OF the
classical schocl OF history. and We
have entered upon the orgies of resl-
ism. Starting out from half-digest-
ed theory that because antiquity in
some respects resemhled the pres
ent. therefore it must have been ex-
actly like the present. we have
reached strange and marvellous re-
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13
Nourlshment for lnvaIlds.

When the appetite has failed, as in
the case Of convalescents and many
weak children, nourishment is of
prime Importance. There is capital
way to administer it. which rarely fails
even in extreme cases. To the white
of an eg. add the juice of an orange
and tie least bit of sugar. Strain the
mixture carefully and set it away IN
til it is very cold. Then 1t may be
served as orange jelly" either with Or
without a cracker.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13

suits. Yet this presupposes that his
tory repeats itself We can OF cour e
never prove that il does not; but we
can assert that it does not. with all
the intensity of the faith that is in
us. We are not squirrels going round
in a cage. and could We see any com
pick epocn in the past as well as we
can any period in the present. We
should see the difference; and where
the eye of the mind fails We have the
right TO see by the eye OF faith
Jesse Benedict Carter. In the Attain
tic.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13
Lucky Aftertbo,,1h,

Cinderella had put Oh the glass
slipper
TO be in fashion" was her mental
comment the heel ought &c be at
least two inches higher"
Suddenly rejecting. however. thai
persons wearing glass slippers mustn't
KICK she wisely held her tongue. and
an The world IS familiar With the resi-
O. the story.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13

Rome is like some famous woodland
glade that every artist paints; she Is
like some problem in bridge-huildlng,
at which every engineer tries his
hand. Thus. I'm the days when his
tory consisted of wars and battles.
men studied Rome as the great man
ual of military experience; and when
our conception of history advanced so
as to include governmental problems
It was Rene that was the great text
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13

the assembled multitude clad in mar
tial gear, and casting down a gauntlet
opon the ground, defied to mortal COM
bat any person or persons having
quarrel with or denying the right of
the potentate to reign over the land
This custom dated back to the siren
uous days when a monarch was also
an active man-at-arms, and likely to
meet in a hand-to-hand engagement
with some persistent foeman at any
time or place. Hence the institution
of kings champion" appointed TO
keep all challengers at bay. heredi-
taiy honor. and one that was held for
many generations by the descendants
of the Dymoke family. But Edward
VII, who possessed an unusually
strong sense of the ridiculous, refused
to permit this heroic burlesque of a
medieval custom to be introduced
into the splendid pageantry at his cor
nation and abolished the office of a
warlike substitute forever.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13
Advice to a Frien5.

The young man was about to be
married.
Praise your wife's grace and beau,
" constantly" advised one friend.
But don't overdo it" counseled an
other she may conclude that she
has thrown herself away On you. and
want to go on the stage"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1912-02-13
~Llmitr in short Weight,

Or. W. F. King. assistant secretary
OF the state board Of health. has found
what he terms "the limit In short
weights. He wrote 10 sporting
goods house few days ago 70 buy
some dumhbells for his daughter, and
IN netting" q pair found thar one
was lighter than tee ether He called
the attention OF the salesman 70 bis
discovery and She 6Gmbbelis were
placed on a balance and weighed. and
hue found 10 te four ounces short Of
tae ararGss eight