The Washington times., 1912-06-12

| CHICAGO, June 12-Obscurity Is 60
Ing out of fashion. Therefore, the
Vice Presidency isn't in much apparent
demand.
| The last imposing attribute of that
somnolent distinction has passed from
1t In these last four years At least, It
used to be perfectly dignified job. II
| isn't any longer. Our old friend, sunny
Jim" Sherman, amputated the dignity
! features and now there is no excuse for
| a man taking II unless he wants to get
forgotten.
In the good old days OF such Vice
Presidents as Garret A. Hobart and
Charles w. Fairbanks, dignity fairly
exuded from the situation. II was COM
posed of 994 per cent pure dignity.
Then came Sunny Jim," who calls the
Senate to order In a pepper-and- salt
sack suit, and inveigles substitute to
sit in for him whenever the home ball
team is in Washington. He may not
be disnifed, but the Senators all like
him. the newspaper men are strong for
him, and he has good time. 1t doesn't
| seem to have made him any less useful
as Vice President, either.
Puts on Suit of oblivion.
This Is the time of year when YOU
| want to look out for the man with a
mission of "reha bilitating the Vice
Presidency" He is liable to appear in
any guse, and to start telling you
about how sad 1t Is that an office sec
ond only to the Presidency, the second
post within the gift Of the American
people, a place Of power and eminenceA
all that old bunk-should have degraded
to the point where man who wants
10 md
man who gets 1t commonly dons, along
with the title, a fve-ply, nickel-steel
armored suit OF oblivion.
This missionary pours out the assur
ance that this is the time when the
party ought to pick one of its biggest.
ablest, most commanding man for Vice
President. The country needs the coun-
sells of such man in the Senate-just
as II any Senator would pay any at
tention to the Vice Presidents advice
about anything on earth land 1t should
be made an attractive, desirable office,
not pigeonhole in the catacombs Of
mummified political antiquities
Work of the Missionary.
Whereupon, proceeds the missionary.
: he desires to draw your attention to
the especial desirability of nominating"
somebody you never heard Of. and
, somebody who. II you did. impressed you
) as of about the right calber for town
snip trustee.
This is the open season for such mis-
, sionaries, and truth to say the sport is
J bad. There aren't many Of them here,
and it's a lot nicer convention on that
account.
: The general uplift movement has had
quite a run OF late; but the particular
business of uplifting the Vice Presi-
dency Is on the rocks. Governor Mead
Of Vermont is mentioned. only you don't
hear him mentioned: you see In the
that he is. He really wants the job.
which has commonly been the particular
reason why a man doesn't get 1t.
about the Vice Presidency. Nobody
7 must want It, To seek 1t Is to lose:
to fight for II Is to be ridiculous. John
Hays Hammond advertised that he
campaign fund II nominated; and II he
got any votes at all there's nobody here
: who can recolect whence they came;
, seems as II he did get little bunch
. Country Is Finicky.
Why should the country be so finicky
about the Vice Presidency? A group
: of leading citizens can get out on the
hustings and lambast each other all
over the place; search the dictionaries
8 Of epithet for such choice and amiable
s descriptives as "neurotic," and "reac-
: tionary." and burglar" call each other
: : horse thieves. anarchists, tools OF the
= plutes, and so on. They may forget
s all about dignity or anything else: and
( II they're running for the Presidency
D it's all right.
= People expect men to scrap for the
r Presidency. They may scrap for the
Senatorship. for Congress. for governor
road supervisor. township assessor. or
what not, and we rather look up TO them
as patriotic folks, earnestly maintain
ing their convictions.
, But let a gent who owns a tailcoa'
I and has had his name In the papers
= few times go out and whisper to a
friend that he'd like to be the Vice
ITndignified. don't ye know: awfullS
bad form. Isn't 1t curious, when yot
think OF 1t?
Reservoir of Dignity.
The truth is that the Vice Presidential
office is the great national reservoir
of political dignity. 1t is required tC
provide all the dignity for the entir'
; scheme of things. Nobody else neet
i care a fig about dignity, propreties
u form or manners; but the Vice Presi
y dent. he must hand out supply larg'
u enough to salve up our whole nationa
life.
C All the dignity rivers and creeks ant
rivulets pour their flow into this Vic
n Presidential reservoir The Speaker o
: the House may smoke a black ciga
and tell any kind of story he likes th'
= President Is liable to be slapped on thu
back and called Teddy, old boy" o.
+ Colonel" or BILL" or most anything