Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1912-12-20
STEALING A BATH
Adventure of a Trio of English
Tourists In Germany.


Germany on the cheap, and 1 don't
know which % US enjoyed it least.
Parker grumbled the most. but then
be always did. and. though viIks and
tried to look on the humorous side OF
things, we lost flesh over It We had
happened upon a heat wave and swal-
lowed a tremendous lot OF dust and
nies thrown In gratis. cheap though our
tarlR was. But we couldn't swallow
the foreign titles that cropped up
around US. We had too much British
pride for that And, as luck would
have Il. at the last town Of our tour
we were quartered on the top floor Of
a hotel where a German prince occu-
pied a suit Of rooms. Ii Our opinion.
three English tourists were worth more
than thirty German princes. and we
dropped our boots on the floor nj night
in the vain hope that he was under
meath. But. alas. his suit was on the
first floor. and we never even caught
glimpse Of him. though once we heard
his high pitched. arrogant, penetrating
voice and the coy fulsome rejoinders
of his valet both articulating a Ian
guage which Parker contemptuously
described as "the limit"
II was the last morning Of our stay.
Parker and ! had gone back TO the
hotel to pack our bags before departing
for the station. The weather was hot
ter and dustier than ever. and Wilks,
always energetic, had gone to the pub
lie bathing place on the river in search
of a swim. ! had a letter TO write,
and Parker wandered round the hotel
20 kill time. Presently he thrust his
face In at the door. 1t had lost its
familiar lowering look and wore a
bright and alert expression.
81 say" he calculated mysteriously,
almost under his breath, "I've just
found bathroom in this blighted hole
bath full Of tepid water. with a Their
mometer in it-clean, warmed tow
els on the rail. and all that. What
shall do?'
"Do" ! replied. "Get into It, man.
and let me know when you've finish
ed"
He wasn't long and came back look
ing wonderfully young and clean. The
mail had Just arrived and l had spent
few minutes over my letters before
also found the bathroom. following
his directions. II was without excep-
ton the best I have ever been in.
and. 10 my surprise. the big porcelain
bath was half full OF tepid water, and
set Of clean, newly warmed towels
hung on the rail. | took what the
gods gave and asked no questions. but
wanted more cold water and eX-
perimented unsuccessfully with vari-
Gus levers on the wall. AS a last hope
attacked n cart wheel affair on the
floor and after a stiff struggle man.
aged TO turn Il. A food Of cold water
gushed I'm along one side of the bath.
and It was all | could do TO wrench
the wheel around and stop the flow.
As did 20 light came upon me in a
flash This was the princes bath, pre-
pared for him n second time by his
obsequiOus valet II was the glorious
certainty Of the fact that made me en-
Jtg AAaA bAAAl 40 nave hfhtA envy VI
bath before or since The cheap
English tourists were one up on his
serene highncss. after all. Still.
admit. when ! had finished Tubing
lost no time in getting back 10 the
fourth floor again. ! told Parker the
great news. and we were just discuss
ing II with rapture when Wilks came
in, looking supremely detected for the
first time on the tour
THE bathing place isn't open" h,
Enarled Had all the flag Of goinl
there for nothing. What dirty beg
gars they are"
Not all OF them" replied. Don
you worry. old chap" And described
10 him the position OF the bathroom
and he was of like hare. During hi;
absence We thoughtfully packed ouI
own bags and his. In ten minutes HI
returned. fresh as a mountain daisl
and bubbling over with gratitude.
What sort Of bath did you getT'
l asked carelesSly.
"a clinker." Ire cr!ed. Hand Il wal
all put ready for me. clean towel,
and everything. The only difficulty