The Ordway new era., 1912-10-25
What She
Really Meant

II cant see," began the girl who
likes to talk, "why the business OF
being an interpreter doesn't flourish
nowadays. I'm thinking Of starting
,ut in it myself and I'm sure I'd make
/ large income. don't mean inter.
preting foreign languages, but just
plain English!
II have learned through painful
years Of humping my Uranium against
stone walls and yearn to take under
my wing all the poor. bewildered NOR
tails who still think the words people
use express what they mean. I want
to pat them on the back soothingly
and murmur There! There!' and
then explain to them that DO you like
pink chickens?' really means. We
came on the 10 o'clock train
For instance. Mrs. Gamboge calls
you up over the phone some morning
and says. My dear. we're having q
few people In to cards tonight and
want you to come. I just got 1t up
on the spur Of the moment-it's only
q little informal affair. Oh. most in.
formal. my dear, I assure you! Just
a few friends! So glad you can come!
Goo-od-by!'
"I've seen the time when I'd have
dismissed the matter until Just be-
fore time to dress. when I would not
have even glanced at the shelf carry.
Ing my party gowns in boxes. but
would have picked out some high
necked thing. Probably I'd have just
worn my hair as I ordinarily do and
would have taken a street car to get
to the scene Of the festivities. But
aot now!
'T have grown wiser know that
the English language does not mean
what 1t is made to say. So I spend
all my time after luncheon preparing
20 go to Mrs. Gamboge's informal lit.
tie affair have my hair dressed and
my face massaged. and I get an extra
manicure. and I have all my clothes
hnder inspection. and I pick out al.
most my very best gown. Then
borrow mothers Paris evening wrap
and phone for a taxi and wait five
minutes in the crush at the door be-
ore ! can even get in. There will be
l Hungarian band playing under the
stairs and the whole place will be
simply broken out with caterers men.
who pass you along from one to the
other solemnly, trying to act as
though they had butlered and foot.
named in that one spot for several
decakes. as had their fathers before
them.
"By this time ] wish had borrowed
mothers diamond tiara. because be.
gin to feel kind Of plain In only .
satin and crystal gown and string
of pearls. There will be four course
supper and American beauty roses
bursting out from all corners.
1T is really maddening to think
what unlimited money and a telephone
will do nowadays. It seems to me that
they take away all the fun Of giving q
party. all the worry being removed
These rich women do not have to
count their napkins and say. My good.
ness! I'll have to borrow Cousin Nell'a
best ones to flll out!' They do not dis.
and that the spare room hasn't been
iusted. All they do is phone caterer
md florist and tell Mary to be sure
% see that she dusts extra well down.
stairs. Then they can go to lun.
,heon and two teas and make few
calls and when they arrive home at
Inner time they say. Dear me! I'd
almost forgotten that I have q card
party tonight
1.-THE only difference when 1t is con.
sidered formal affair Is that you get
an engraved old English card ten days
In advance.
"Then when you drop in to see a
friend and she keeps you waiting half
an hour before she comes down. and
you say. I hope didn't disturb or in
terrupt,' and She murmurs sweetly
Not at all. my dear! was Just hook
Ing my collar. and am SO slow about
doing things!' you would realize, II you
had an interpreter at hand. that She
meant that she was up in the third
floor sewing room working like mad
with seamstress making over clothes
and hadn't brushed her hair since she
had twisted 1t into a knob on arising
and had on kimono thing and old
slippers. Also that she said when
your card came up. Now. what on
earth did she come today Of all days
for, I'd like to know! Isn't it provok
ing!'
"My helping hand would be of bene,
fit also to prosy and boresome and
spoiled old bachelors when sweet