Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-08-29
MOTORING BOWLING
FISHING BOATING
LIVE
TIPS
-
By BOsCO

tx ., 5 aaPo
Politics
Extra! Extra! BOsCO HAS Pc
Triton OUT FOR MAYOR.
@ =
Whose's next?
If l believed in "Hunches' I
might say that the name Seaman"
ought to help a certain candidate
sail towards home. Good wind
needed, however, as a political
calm" would only mean that he
would drift out among the derelicts.
Title for new song: "Ketchup in
Rice Pudding Makes the Dessert
Last Longer"
"solored Gait Dater Way" at
B%oynton's yesterday. 'Scuse me.
Been to the Wilson Club clambake.
I can't "bear" to read that "cub"
reporters story. So childish.
Some Fish Story.
News article tells of 1000 nsh
being electrocuted when lightning
struck a tree that stood in a pond
near Mayield, Ky. The reporter
who wrote the story ought to have
stretched his Imagination and stat
ed that every fish was broiIed by the
heat of the bolt.
Says There is "No He'll"
A brother from the 'Israelits
House of David" of Benton Harbor,
Mich, who was seen walking about
town yesterday accompanied by a
fine bunch of "wind-teasers" and
pride of the Seven Sutherland Sis
ters," during one of his street cor
ner addresses declared that there
was mo He'll" l wonder if that
guy eve had a tooth filled or
walked the floor with a baby all
night? Too bad Sherman isn't
alive.
The Ball Players Cry
That old one about a bird in the
hand being worth two in the bush
has been improved upon by the
Philadelphia Record thusly:
"If a bird in the hand, as we all
understand,
Is worth two in the bush, let me
utter
This ball-player's cry, when he says
that a fly
In the hand is worth two in the
butter"
His Offense.
What! Arrested for defaeing
public property"
eyes; a policeman caught him
cutting the corners."-September
Woman's Home Companion.
How He Was Nicknamed.
Know Howard Hardiman, who Is
called "Smuss'' by his friends?
This is how he got his nickname.H He
was on the boardwalks at Asbury
one day when a fellow friend came
along and, recognizing Howard"
slapped him on the shoulder and
playfully rubbed his hair. The AM
boyan was with several young ladies
and, not wishing his part" spoiled,
attempted to say: Don't muss my
hair!" In his excitement he ex-
claimed, however, Don't SMUSS
my hair!" Everyone laughed and
somehow he got tae handle Of
"Smuss."
Wonderful Discovery.
| have made a discovery. Perth
Amboy has a wonderful writer and
his nom de plume is "Spodinis." He
has already contributed several
poems to this column and they were
read and appreciated by many. He
has consented to give further proof
of his talent by writing several short
stories, the first of which is as fol-
lows:
Brock and "Fitzie'' at Boynton
Beach on Society Night.
A strange part of a very enjoyable
evening spent at Boynton Beach on
Society Night was the appearance
of Brock" and "Fitzie," and more
especially strange Is the fact that the
crowd enjoying the pleasures of this
popular resor did not appreciate the
honor anL nOtoriety, not to speak OF
the social benefits that generally ac-
company the presence of these two
notables. 'Fitzie" was to a slight
extent encouraged by the attitude OF
the fairer sex, whose presence was
the leading factor in this social
function by being allowed to materi-
alize his foremost ambitions in the
successful solicitation of a number
of dances, while his companion could
do naught but look on n question
the of the crowd who had
treated one of his ariStOcratic stand
ing 50 shabbily. Had some kind gem
tlemen stepped up to the crowd with
the information that they were the
guys that put the key in Keyport
and opened the lock in Lockpo~t IN
order to secure passage to the pleas
ures afforded by the glorious Means
burg resort, our friends would no
doubt have been overwhelmed with
cordially. SPODINlS.
ATHLETE WINS