The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1912-08-08
GID HICKORY CHIPS.
A General Mixture Designed for The
Busy Reader.

Noiiioo " AaI1UlHS CUT lno gld
hand' Woodrow Wilson is an arts
that has 'em all skinned.
The man who steals a girls hear
is liable to servitude for life. Boy
be careful.
The steam roller" has retired
!, and an effort will be made to pro.
! duce the landslide.
The Democratic platform boilee
down is:-'Take your hand out Of
my pocket
The difference between DR.. VIII
sons jaw and Col. Roosevelt's law
| that the cartoonists enjoy the doc
tors almost as much as the colone
enjoys his own.
If Munsey and Dixon are right
and Roosevelt has a better chance
OF winning than Taft, Wilson might
as we'll begin composing his Inaugu-
raj address, and selecting his cabi-
net.
There's one advantage Of being a
bull moose; taking to the woods will
come easy, and natural.
Gov. Wilson is not boss. He is e
preceptor, a disciplinarian, and ac-
con1pllshed leader of the people.
Now and then a candidate looms
up who insists on running in the face
Of all kinds Of danger signals.
Try to remember that nobody
cares how warm you are and change
the subject.
New Jersey doubtless would be
content to qualify as the foster
mother of presidents.
Naturally the alledged attempt to
blow up Taft with an infernam ma
chine didn't attract much attention
at time when he is being blown up
by II. R." every day.
Express companies don't take to
the anti-fat treatment.
Swat the huckleberry pie.
The welcome planned for Lorimer
on his return 10 Chica ro--hracs band
speeches &c-ought to Undue him
with desire to stick to Chicago.
President need not fear to be list
ed among the "also rams" The
term will be ''also rolled"
Too often popularity isn't worth
the price.
A girl who is always picking quar-
rels may find it difficult to pick a
husband.
Being a busy man perhaps Mr..
Bryan has not yet picked out his
job.
Our universities should pay more !
to the classics, particular
ly to the study Of Greek, or We'll |
never win another Marathon.
One may hope that so many of
those new style nicke!s will be issued
that nickel will always be handy
when tho telephone is to be used.
AS yet it seems impossible to make
railroad safety Independent Of flag
men and semaphore operators.
VIII the steel trust find dissolution
a delightful tonic, as the old trust
seems to have done?
Nothing on earth could possibly
taste as good as watermelon looks.
I'll the divorce lawyers in the
American Bar Association should
get together and make up purse
for the Tennessee parson who has
married 1000 eIopers.
There are so many newspaper men
Down at Seagirt now that the veins
IF those New Jersey mosquitoes are
'unning with ink.
Our brave marines are being
EQUIPPED with pajanas, which should
prove something new in the wash of
he sea.
The Democratic Congressman who
7isited Woody at the Little White
House" presented him with a book
their autographs but we
lave suspicion that the governor
would rather have them at the bot
ON Of check.
Not one Of the years presidential
candidates was born in a log cabin
II used to read when a boy by the
light Of pine knot. Whittier are
We drifting?
No railroads block system should
,e permitted to degenerate into :
,lockhead system.
In New York you can tell gam 6
,ler from a policeman by the uni /;
OrTn.
How can we call Washington the
apitol when not Cabinet Hostess ,
emains in town? :
Perhaps promoters consider 1t ne
to pour in a good deal OF q
1ater to "foat" securities.