The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-03-22
(kansas CITY Star.l

Burglary. l once commended. was
the king of indoor sports l esteemed
1t a perfect pastime. us we'll as prof
table. But since ! have entered upon
n tcn-year stretch" in the pcniten-
tiary ] nave had ample leisure to
weigh its merits. and now am willing
to admit it has one flaw-the element
of danger of capture and punishment,
is just a grain too great. For tbs
vocation of the robbcr is picturesque
and romantic only SO long as he is
successful: it becomes prosy and eve
sordid, l may ay. when he is cap-
tured. incontinently hustled off to
prison and set at an endless task OF
making ovcralls in company with Il
mob of moral degcncratcs and de-
f~ectives.
by the term of "burglary' ] mean,
of course. the business of house
breaking carried on in a decent and
intelligent mannc with due regard
for the artistic refinements of tho
game. ] have no patience with those
clumsy bunglers who go about smash
ing their way into peaceful homes
frightening tho wits out of rcSpccta-
BILE folk. and possibly doing some Sc
rious injury to any person who may
have the temerity to c~Npostulate with
them for their intrusion. / abhor
brutality and bloodshed. and it is
those interlopers who have sought to
make up in physical force what the!
lacked in brains that have brough,
the profession into more or less dis
rcpute with sticklers for the propric.
ties.
Personally. 7 always made it a rule
to avoid violence and the use OF
deadly weapons. either in my own
hands or those of any n else. When
ever | CHANGED to encounter a house
holder afflicted with insomnia and a
thirst for combat | did not attcmp,
To argue with him-l simply with
drew and left him to his own bad
company.
When I took up burglary it was
for pleasure solely. and not for prof
it. ! give you that on my word of
honor as a gentleman. Compelled Ivy
circumstances to endure a prosy cXis-
tcnce in Il sleepy village. where there
was absolutely no legitimate diver
sion for a person craving excitement,
III took to househrcaking us Il relief
from monotony.
Perhaps. too. 4 feminine curiosity
concerning my neishbors and 1hcir
manner of life. seen unconvcntionally
and when they We're off their guard
''''' wv "O Will NY tllttl-
prise. And let mo tell you ! was well
repair in the latter regard. II is
amazing what Il difference there is
in the Affiliations and tho persons al
our acquaintanres. seen by tho obSer-
want burglar in tho dead of night. aft
er the company has gone and the
lights are out. You would miss tho
dignity of the banker head of the
household AS o saw him twisted in
some gr%otcsquc attitude, snoring in
soddcn sleep. his pomposity shed with
his starchcd shirt. Madame Vol
would scarcely Recognizes. bercft OF
her hrocades and distinguished air
perhaps snoring a duet with her hus'
band. In Miss Annabel, with rom.
plcXion paste on her nose ana Will
her luXuriant tresses adjoining the
dressing table. YOU would not know
the fluffy dream that noated into the
parl"r a few hours before. And the
house itself-oh. houses shut them.
selves in from the world and retire
at night, as do the people who occupy
them: And any burglar can tell Vol
that all the closets in every house
and the cellars and the carrots ant
cubbN-holes and back stairs as we'll
each and every contains a do
mestic skeleton of some sort.
! used to find an impish enjoyment
in libcrating those imprisoned skele.
tons. | would drag them forth ant
set them up in conspicuous places
where. when morning came. the,
would greet the yes Of the pompou:
master of the distinguished madam,
and the exquisite Annabel. 1t wa!
difficult for me to restrain my laugh,
ter when I thought of the consterna
ton that would seize the family wher
they realized that their private ana
tolnical relics nae been paved ovel
and inspected. even by a burglar. L
was convulsing to picture the stale
respectables frantically shooing thu
uncanny troupe back to their quar
tiers or searching out new and NOR,
secret hiding places for them.
My nocturnal enterprises were no
undertaken without deliberate ant
careful preparation. l was determin
cd that my daylight reputation FOL
responsibility should not suffer
through any careless oversight or de
tcction-and 1 was confident that onl,
carclessness on my part could arouse
a doubt Of my honesty in the sleep,
town. In the matter of clothing
fatter myself ] dressed the part t,
perfection. My burglars suit was o
subdued gray, inconspicuous alike il
moonlight and in shadow. as were m,
soft hat. shirt. ennis shoes and socks
In my pockets there was not a bit o
paper or personal belonging of an,
kind that might be lost and late
picked up as a clue to the identity O
an intruder; nor vas there a loos,
button OIL my garments. The cos
tune did not differ materially from
my everyday lounging dress will
which the people of the town wer,
familiar.
l had no elaborate kit of house
breaking tools; in fact, the entir,
equipment, which I found suficed 70,
all purposes. consisted of a small
Jimmy" for, forcing windows O
door hasps: a delicate but powerful
pair Of tweezers for grasping the tip!
Of keys left in locks. a hin-blade,
pocketknife for throwing window
catches. and a pocketful of matches
Two of the tools-the Jimmy" an
the tweezers-I invariably concealed
outside a house before I entered; IN,
theory being that if l were captured
inside the evidence as to my wron,
intentions might be very strong. blu
would not be absolutely conclusive s,
long as there was nothing in my DOS
session to prove me a housebreaker
Many a man has been found in an
others habitation without being sus
pected of entertaining designs on TIL,
spoons! II the worst came to tn,
worst I could declare that in passin,
! had noticed an open window O