Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1912-04-25

THE TALE OF A HEN

Ny names Ethyle. I've always low
ed to stay in the house. Some people
claim the yards the place for a hen
but | don't think 80. 1t may be for
an ordinary hen, but for a talented
chicken like m~yself-never!
The other day | went exploring mp
stairs and found some of the incest
seed right up on the mantel in a TIN
p%Iatter. | was having such a nice
lunch when the old lady came in and
shooed me ont, muttering some fool
norsence about ''cantalOupes'' and
~'choice' and seeds" Strange peo-
pie eau be 80 cranky!
Another day | came tip toaiug down
the hail and found the finest half a
watermelon on the stair steps. Well,
l proceeded to help myself-wouldn't
/ you? My bill way muddy and hot and
twas so refreshing. But this time the
girl interrupted, saying something
about spelling it all and doing with
out, and l had left her a plenty, too.
l just know Teddy Roosevelt takes
the Sequachee Valley News, and he
will murmur Nature Faker, but what
can a mere man like him know of the
troubles of any self respecting hem
I'm a very brave hen. Why, | lead
all the other chickens out into the
highways, ami by ways and never have
been frightened. Why, n day we
met the biggest dog n of these fierce
looking dogs, with a expression that
says, Tin cant off MY tail, boys,
and he never even stopped.
There's only one thing that | am
afraid of. think it is some kind of
instrument of torture. Maybe a gun,
| don't know. 1t has a round, smooth,
handle, about four feet long, and
brushy straw on the cad.
Some Of these folks that stay in tue
house, hut cont want me to, said
something about reinforcing reguIa-
tons and the first thing | knew this
thing I'm trying to tell you about
came whi22iug ut me. You bet ] can
% on occasions like that 1t makes me
cackle to even thiuk Of it. Why II
day way last November | started trip
ping down the hall, trip, trip, trip,
as ligut as this old witch we read
about that wouldn't wait until the
fellow got his old hat, and The Thing
was standing at the very end of the
hall il a dark corner You bet |
flew shrieking and cackling out that
front door. The old man came out to
see if any left wei Hallo'een goblin
had strayed into his house, and he
said, "Waal, I'll be darned." Come
to think of it, l heard EN- sitting on
the front porch, reading out of DR..
Kellogg's Health Magazine, and l
know they read something about sin
fernal machine and "stirring up
deadly germs" Seems, too, they call
ed it a broom, but | amt certain
about that.
Sometimes they shut all the doors to
keep me out, but | most always find a
window open. l can hop right into
the parlor from the porch and can fly
up to the other windows. It's good
exercise for me. l believe in plenty
of good exercise. Why sometimes, l
run all the way from the barn to the
house, drawing in long deep breaths
and cackling at every step. Cackling's
good exercise, just try it..
The dining room is my favorite spot.
Our dining room is big and shady and
cool and geraniums bloom on the win
dow ledge and oh, how good it all
smells. Not them flowers, shucks
there's no room to scratch in EN-, but
the side board and the table. Lemme
tell you. The other day Miss Reida
hitched up the buggy and drove into
town, and while she was gone the
south wind worked the door unbutton-
ell. | told Sister Biddy and went Oh
in to scratch back the wi cloth and
investigate, while she told the other
chickens. Well, there were two big
plates of biscuits, tiny white puffy
things and light as a feather, so we
all took one apiece and scattered over
the yard and ate them.
We've got a big black cat and me
and the cat have a big platter Of clab-
Der on the back porch every day.
Nothing like living on a farm. That
one quiet, uninterrupted meal is the
one thing that saves a high strung fe-
male like myself from prostra-
ton, and even the celebrated Jack
Spratt and his wife, made famous by
my kinswoman, Mother Goose, could
Mt get a platter any cleaner than me
and the cat. Somebody said m
thing about all that milk being too
much for that hen, but l made up my
mind to die game. l came of a long
line of illustrious game cocks. That's
where | get my bravery. My ancestry
on my mothers side are all leghorns.
I've a very melodious voice for sing
ing. The rooster said SO. I'm his fav-
orite wife. Why, only the other day
he says to me. "My dearie, your one
in a thousand don't think there's
quite a thousand of us, but we are
blooded stock.
There is one big white hen among
us. The flood washed her here. This
last flood, l mean. IT'S the other
Flood that l can trace my ancestry
back to. l used to think I'd give
anything l haven't got if l was white
like her, but I've got over that. |
Me and the cat both perform on the
piano. l told you about how l got
into the parlor. l prefer marches.
Two feet are much preferable to four
for a stately, firm march down the
keyboard and back.
We live on an r. d. near Jasper.
I've laid an egg every day since
Christmas. | lay a big brown egg.
Fact of the business is I'm a big
hen.
ETHYLE LEGHORN BROWN.
P. S. If you want one of my eggs
to set, just call on Ernest Darr.
P. P. S. Was scratchin' me out a
nest in the corner of the porch in a
box of papers and came across this let
ter | gave Cock a-doodle-do to post to
way last summer and he forgot
it. Frailty thy name is masculinity
| do hone when Jno. A. Moon gets