The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-09-09
NOT ALL ITS CRACKED UP TO Be
Getting Next to Natures Heart Is Sometimes a Messy
and Uncomfortable Process and It's Mistake
Always to Let EN- Know You Can Cook.

well, what'd you switch me off the
track for" asked Sal ut was your
own fault"
"Was it ever anything else but my
fault?" inquired the cynic with mar
tyr air
"Oh-!!! Well it's all right to camp
If you go away up in the Canadian
woods one hundred and fifty miles
away from a hotel with hot and cold
water and chicken-salad on the half
shell. But this thing of immuring
yourself in a canvas house of the di-
mansions of your best chicAn-coop
within walking distance from all the
said Sal.
people pretend they think it's fun
But they don't. It's not so bad for the
men for man can emerge from one
of these holes looking as we'll groom
ed as if he had performed an elaborate
toilet in a three-room suite.
But that's because he's a man and
has no hair to bother with. And, also,
has clothes ideally built for manipula-
ton in close and perspiring quarters.
But if you're a woman-oh him
nell" exclaimed Sal.
II took a tent with Maria and FL
len, and by the end of two days | was
ready to murder them both to slow
music. 1t takes the discipline of tent,
especially at a chautauqua, to bring
you to a realization of the limitations
Of your own endurance.
Maria is, under ordinary circum-
stances enough to drive the ordinarily
sane person to drink and destruction
but 1 had thought that the compare
tive freedom from the usual domestic
conventions such as two forks and a
half dozen spoons, finger-bowls and sill
verbscked hair brushes might make
her endurable for the brief space in
which we hibernated in our canvas
shelter between prolonged forays after
! intellectual provender and spiritual
sustenance.
But, alas, how little can we see in
to the future.
! Maria, in her determination to look
! sleek and well groomed, spent unnam
! ed and incalculable time at her toilet
Ellen and l had to wait No matter il
We were late or early or what or when
or how. She was like one of those
women who lock themselves in the
dressing-room of a Pullman and stay
it out until they can fare forth as from
their boudoir
THE sort that the men point to az
an example and say-'why don't you
look like that?' and never will believe
your explanation of humane treatment
of the other feminine passengers il
long waiting line outside.
Then Ellen, while untidy, was
strictly sanitary.
she used mouth and nose washes
gargles, and other cleansing agencie:
and went through a regular course o.
physical culture stunts every night.
Since the correspondence course pre-
scribed that she perform lightly, if no
becomingly clad, all the tent flaps hac
to be tightly marooned during this in
terval
I'm the meantime Ellen, in her ar
dour, knocked over a table or two
backed the gasoline can into my bed
tumbled Maria's hat into the butter
crock and played general havoc
ION my timid suggestion that she
give her physical culture a much need
ed vacation she smiled sourly and sait
she had to plat it out for a grade.
Then We found that none of III
could eat the same things.
And Maria, on the third day refus
ed to cook
Said she'd make the beds.
And she finally stopped doing tina
on the plea that she had to attend tn,
Bible classes.
, Later Ellen stated that the smell
OF cooking made her i'll and as tn,
doctor had warned her her heart wa
weak she would have to give that VI
was there anything else she ceul,
do-of course as Maria was maxim,
the beds-let her know
Such concentrated essence O
cheek I never heard! 1t came to tn
PASS where they were asking me vha
they could do as though had original
ed the whole thing and they were m
guests. Why haven't worked 50 har,
: for years. secured and scrubbed an
swept and cooked and sreaksd roun
: with buckets and pals and broom
: and tied on kitchen aprons benin
: trees-think Of it-ME!"
"Tough!" murmured the cynic.
The night it stormed It raine
clear through and soaked eEerythin
: in the tent We sat in water TO GU
, shoe-tops and glared at each othel
After it drained of and we had bally
whacked round trying to find . DIR