Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-11-28

JudSoIl. pace n expects to have 1T
done before SNOW flies.
Those who are in arrears to this pa
per. whose names is legion, will please
call and settle, as things is quite scarce
at this writing. Ye editor needs a new
pair of pants, as the ones he used to
have was stole of from him by a hack
driver at Niagara falls and he had to
come home in one OF Mrs. Yes skirts, !
which is alright for travelling pur-
poses. but is rather awkward to work
i'm around the Office. Come one, come +
all.
Lemeul Purdy has bought a thes-
aurus on the installment plan from a
convasser n is building a cage out
In the back yard to keep 1t In. He
says II 1t Dol anything like what it
sounds nk 1t is one of them fierce
prehistorical animiles and he expects
10 make his fortune exhibitin' 1t.
There was a bad fire in u midst
last Wednesday evening. But the wide
awake hose company refused to re-
spond because their new red shirts and
tin helmets had not arrived from the
UNIFORM manufacturers. The citizens
every volunteer who got hold OF al
bucket started for the Golden Nugget
saloon through force of habit and the
angry element was left to burn itself
out. Deacon Abner Jones' general
store was burned u complete. Loss.
T'NO' . uAlSO. &o,OVV.
Since her trip abroad Miss Lizzie
beeoe Is convalescent with several
languages. Washin' took in by the
day or week.
Old Man Purdy sat down on a I
spool OF barb wire in front to lib
never could see the fine points of al
thing. Eben Hand broke up the
James Huggitt funeral last Thursday
by suffering an attack of st. vitus
dance: There is a place to dance, but
II a1nt at a funeral.
Doc. FrisbN advertises himself as al
painless dentist, but we notice he is
laid up with rheumatic once in a while
just the same.
somebody stole the clapper off the
neetin' house bell to use for a bass
drum stick for the Silver Cornet band
and Deacon Pringle, one of the pillows
or the church, expects to have the law
on somebody. Constable Ezra Hand is
working on the case, but he has no
cue as to who done 1t, as Hank
luimms, the base drummer, says he kin
prove an albino as he was in jail over
10 west E~fckeyville for tryin' to make |
4 check for $1.S5 make a noise like
$3.50. 1t is believed If the outraged
people OF the town had some feathers
aha some tar and somebody to put
feather party.
Grandma Perkins is failing fast.
She was only able to pillow nine acres
Monday. She has got the gol dingest
longevity In this vicinity for an i'm
valid n Amos Butts is thinkin of
selling his hearse.
lhe 1ast time he was down to the
slty uncle Ezra Harkins drank q fancy
arlnk called the puss cafe n he says
It made him feel real kittenish. I. Egg
pert feaVy a got a new mOnOlOgue
winch he wears in n eye, n when
als celluloid collar is clean he looks like
4 regular jimslicker Of q dude.
ohcie Jabez Handy says the weather |
office Is a liar when 1t says there was
only two inches OF rain last Friday
maxim five foo that he knows Of
personally n there was probably a
lot more.
This is a weakly paper, but it would |
ne a durn sight stronger IL some of
the elite members Of the local smart
set would drop in and settle once in
Il while. According to the old blue laws, |
a Teller couldn't whistle on Sunday,
put RANK Tumms says 1t is wusser
than that in thfs burg, for a Teller can't
even wet his whistle.
Old Man Purdy and our village pres
ldent and congenial undertaken, Amos
Butts, went to a theater show down
to the city Sunday. The name of the
play was Vaudeville. Purdy said it was
pretty fair in parts. but the plot of the
f'SSS TIC Val 8Ol ll6uEcO Jul yet.
Hold Peters traded a grindstun, bug
gy whip, patent wringer and two joints |
OF stove pipe with Hi Sphinx for a corn
planter, two bushe Of apples, q phon- |
ograph and a family bible. Currency
Amt needed in these parts. A Teller
which eat peas with a knife amt
got no business on a farm. He ought
to go n voodville and get IL shillin'
a week as a juggler.
The Rev. Mr.. Hanks is busy these
days patchin' the parsonage roof with
wheat pancakes. II we only had eles-
tic currency a Teller ought to be able
to buy plenty Of suspenders all right.
Miss Pansy Tibbitts has went to
West Hickeyville to attend the alum
mum banquet of her alma matter. the
| West H~ickeyville Female conservatory. |
Hank Tumms lays a conservatory Is
where they keep fish, but Old Man Pur-
dy says Hank il a liar. for a place
where they keep Ash is an antiquarian.
T. Egbert Peavy stumped the county
last week tryin' to sell clothes wiring
ers. but he came back disguised. He
| says clothes wringers is Just like kid
around here. Every family IA four
or Ave.
off the railrud train here t'other night.
but the train was gOin' so fast the
pouch didn't light until it got pretty
near down to Peavy Junction. Seven
love letters for Miss Bibbins, u pop
ular trimmer, was delayed until next
day.
Elmer Jones started for West Hick-
eyville yesterday. but something must
have happened to him. as Postmaster
Tibbitts says Miss Amy Stubs amt
received no picture postal "a from
him yet. Foul play IL suspected and
Constable Ezra Hand and the Ladies' |
Aid is workin' on the case. Hold Pc
ters has got a new fall suit. William