New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-05-18
YHE YiKK or THE DAY.

In a description Of DR.. Cooks hrst APP
pesrauco before German audience tho
"Bcrllner Tageblatt" SAYS that there was
no official and ceremonial reception as In
the case Of Pearv. and that his Hrst audi
ence was seated at beer tables In the great
hall OF a suburban brewery. Before tho
lecturer began, his manager who IS said 10
DE the editor cf an American publication
delivered All apologize sermon. gesticulat-
ing like bad actor railing at bribed
American press and creating the impression
Of side show barker Cook, locking pale
and weary. sat still until the market cry
expectorations OF his impresario were nm
ishcd and then he began to speak. remark
ably quiet and with good humor."
what does 70 think. sab, of dis yuh
currency refaWm dat de newspapers !.
talking bout" inquired the remi.educated
WHATS currency" returned old Brother
Bomborshay
WHY. money. sah"---
"Aw. Den Is newnanimously IN favor Of
Oar Lcin' q heap mo- of II IN the hands "
&c white politicians long bout Ie'uoh
time Satire.
rho man who invented tho mechanical
trari, regulator" b. means OF which We
h,clcs and pedestrians might be warned
20 halt or told 10 proceed had the salts
faction Of seeing tho device used FOR twenty
days ~ q busy point IN Paris. iho IN
ventor. Or. Goupl. said on tho frst day
TIA, Noo York and London would soon
ask Tor tine use OF the invention and
France would have IN" glory. After
twenty DAYS u was found that AZ tho
point where - was on trial there Was more
congestion than ever. and that with the
machine IN use safety demanded the pres
once o. more traffic police than had been
stationed ,hero before. Now DR. Goup!l
has been taken up ~ the sketch artists
On the Paris vaudeville stage, writes an
American ana they arc not doing thine
TO linn.
"TLc man who doesn't drink smoke
OF play cards viii i've a longer NE. sa.d
the good deacon. Yes. ! suppose he VIII
notice the length OF the evenings especial
ly." replied the Lackshding hiother.-Phii-
adclph.a Record.
Speaking Of tho statement made to the
Presbyterian General Assembly AZ Louis
VILE by its permanent committee on tom
pcrance that In tho last year there has
been n slight increase iu the consumption
OF LIQUOR the manager OF large restau-
rant said: "We have also noticed In
crease Of liquor consumption on the part OF
our PATRONS, TO our regret For several
years the sales OF wine have been falling
OF. out never TO such n great extent az I'm
the season Just past. There must be some
thing to drink at the table. and II seems
that the majority OF those people who 10
Kind % water blend. and beer, which was
once vulgar Is gaining in popularity. The
people who open wine Sun exist, but We
see fewer Of them"
THE POLICE on PARADE
what makes the officer 40 clean
why does he look so neat7
Why + Il lustre TO be seen
From hcadtop TO his feet?
Why does he wear carefree smile?
why is his manner gay?
why does he sport that nobby tllo'
why? lie parades to-day.
Why does the burglar gloat with glee?
Why do the yeggmen huin7
Why? Here's a chance for them to see
The coppers as they come:
With the policemen keeping time
To music that is played,
VIII they arrest the mon OF crime
Who watch their spring parade?
y. w. UTTING.
For several years his friends have noticed
that at this season one Of their neighbors
who occupies a neat little house in The
Bronx district places food for the birds on
every window sill Of his house. Last year,
in answer 10 inquiry. he said that he was
born In Madrid where a festival IL held
every year on May Is I'm honor OF the pa
tron saint of the city, St Isidor. Il OBJ
serve the day here" he explained, by feed
ing the birds. a practice which our saint
was known for. What we gather from the
field is one-thrd for US, one-thrd for the
poor and one third for the birds"
Policeman 10 motorIst, who. having IN
advcrtently left his car I'm charge Of an
expert thief. has had his magnetic stolen.
Now. sir would you be prepared 10 swear
that YOU had II when you arrived?-Punch.
-------------