The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1912-06-06
Protect the Shade Trees

Our attention has been called to the
activity of certain of our citizens in
their care of the beautiful shade trees
bordering the towns park II APP
pears that sometime ago the park
commissioners held a picnic of some
sort under the shade of these trees
and In the course of that picnic they
determined 1t wise to investigate the
longevity of the shadeproducers.
Examining the trees by means of
telescopes and microscopes and their
own sharp optics they discovered
traces of a "lookoutyoullgetbit
nest. To the initiated we might ex-
plain that that's specie of bug-a
little chap about one millionth of an
inch long but. according to the COM
through limb of an elm four feet in
thickness
Having discovered the nest, OF
course 1t was easy enough to dis
cover whole drove of the tarnal
critters. The women gathered around
the nest and they all got at least
one, sometimes two. full squfnts at
the bug. There were really literally
billions OF EN-, all a-gnawing like
sixty, Alarmed beyond expression
they Immediately appealed to one
Professor Roy L. Marston, local ex-
pert on bugology, theology, and au-
thor of the well-known textbook,
How to grow potatoes on Elm trees. y
And the Professor got alarmed,
too But a serious dispute arose. Ac-
cording to the Professor the bugs
were of another specie, known as
HowIlearnedtodete and
the danger to the trees was imminent.
BY the help of the Park commits
sioners who went ug-shooting, the
Professor finally caught and boxed
up four of the bugs. They couldn't
be seen--they were that small-but
they got them into a four-foot square
dry goods box and the Professor sent
them away for Identification together
with much of the gnawed wood. He
sent them to a bigger bugologist than
he is-and that's saying some
Another dispute arose. After
searching for four days in the four
foot square box for the bugs, the big
expert found the hind leg of one, the
wing of another, and the jaw bone of
a third, put the widely separated
parts together and got a fairly re-
spectacle looking beast. The only
trouble was that the leg wouldn't
support the weight of the jaw bone.
Thus patched. the new creation was
pronounced a "forheavensakecutth
treesdownquick, beetle. This beetle
80 said the expert. grows rapidly and
eventually is of size sufficient to en-
able him to pry open doors and eat
the raspberry jam off the cupboard
shelf. Inasmuch as the trees have
been so seriously affected by them,
the trees must be sacrificed.
Aiming themselves with small Car
rie Nation hatchets and with very
much of the blind zeal of that follower
of Neal Dow, the Professor and the
ladies sailed forth to destroy the
trees.
Whackl And according to the
commissioners, the beetles flew so
thickly that the light of the sun was
shut out, But the tree-the grand
old tree was found to be as sound as
hickory nut
OF course that was a corker on the
Professor. 1t was also tough on the
beetles. They had to seek new roost-
ing places at night. But the reputa-
ton of the Professor was at stake MS
we'll as the wisdom of the ladies In
hiring the learned expert.
So whacki and more trees fell And
every last tree was as sound as
steel rail There wasn't single
blamed beetle caught in the act of
chewing They were all a-sitting on
the telephone wires making faces at
the Professor and singing. What a
lot know about beetles"
But the trees are dead-the grand
old trees that have required genera
ton to grow-the pride of the peo-
pie and about which no one had found
a bit of fault until the women held
that picnic.
And it's funny-the zeal of these
good citizens, For why tackle so
the park trees? In front
of the house of one Of the commits
sioners is a tree that reminds one of
harn PROM, tho hoffla of hn NNilAnr