The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-03-24

thin sixty or siventy feet deep made tn sleighin excellent. In August we had brisk weather, but along in October tn spring came with rush, all nature was awake, an tn timphrachoor rose to ninety degrees below zero. We found tn change little reaxin' at first but be tal1n off all but eight pairs iv pants an siventeen layers iv undherclothes we were comfortable, an we started on dash fir tn pole It was thin we found out what frind man has in tn dog. Along about Novimber first we noticed that Towser was weary with his labors an we ct him. Good old Carlo wint next. An on Christmas day tn always cheerful Fido. I cannot speak too highly iv these cherished frinds ayether' he says, as common carryers or he says, biled Tn weather at this time had sthrange effect on tn dogs. Whiniver they see tn cook bowin' on tn fire they begun to howl, and wan day whin attimpted to pat little Rover tn threacherous beast bit me an run away. On Febry fourteenth l obsarved that iv'ry time I took step I was goin north. thought at first I was out iv me head, but thin 1t occurred to me that we must be at tn south pole. So marked it an come home. l have ony to put down me scientific discov'ries:
 IcE-We found practically onlimted
 supply iv durable ice iv good quality
 SNow-We were onable to bring back
 amy samples iv ann-artic snow, but in a
 gin'ral way 1t can be described as snow.
 'VIcYrATroN-Thraces iv canned vigyta-
 bles were discovered in our soup firm
 time to time.
 'PoPYLArIoN-Ourselv at tn pole. Cap
 Scott north iv us
 FAUNA-Wanst we thought we see a
 bur-rd.
 "' GIN'RAL OBsARvATIoNs-We'r here first
 annyhow. Thank hivens, we bate tn
 Englishman.'
 Now what kind iv story is that f'r me to dig up five cents fir iv Sundah mornin'? tudve wrote tn same mesilf fir half tn money. An here's ivrybody cheerin' fir Cap Amundsen an nobody sayin' kind wurrud fir me old frind tn Dock, who discovered tn north pole without lavin' tn house. Suppose tn Dock had dhreamed he discovered tn south pole, thin ye'd have something in tn pa-apers that wud be worth talkin' about. At this pint we encounthered flock iv zebras that thrained to take tn place iv our tired dogs. At latytude eighty-six forty we discovered a range iv mountains three hund- herd thousand feet high covered with petrihed pink azalyas an infested with prehistoric mon- sthers, wan iv which, Bazamalooka, or, as it is pop'arly known, tn Hickthum, I captured be imitatin' tn love call iv tn mate. This sthrange crather measured forty yards firm wing tip to wing tip, an' onlike tn other monsthers iv this region which carry their young spiked on tn dorsal fin, wheels thim in kind iv prambyater made iv tn hide iv tn Wappah. I soon made frinds iv me captive an taught her to sing in a conthralto voice, but she took sthrange dislike to me Eskymo companyons, an whn she had aten four iv tn most prom nent Republicans iv Upernavik found it nicissry to desthroy her. Befure doin' so carefully preserved an stuffed tn body, which left behind with me observa- tions. have tn check firm the baggage room an will be very glad to show it to amy larned s'ciety if can find it. On Decimber sixth somethin' told me I was within sthrikin' distance iv tn pole. It may have been mesilf. Annyhow, determined on an early start. Break fast was harly out iv tn way whin we begun our pearlous advance Our sufferins firm that lime on wurruds can harly describe. In Novim- Der we run out iv sponge cake an five iv our party deserted. On top iv this calamity we were