The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1912-12-27
GERMS VERSUslovE'
Antlseptic Engagement Tha
Caused the Loss Of Delicate
Little Mustache.
BY GUY ARTHUR JAMESON.

'sA1u Adu ID reality been en-
e@seo over year-since an idvllic
summer at Lake Mohonk. where we
nao come to the supreme understand.
ing intultively and inevitably rather
.nan by any conscious intent. Tech
nicaiiy. we had been engaged two
months. Ours had been an ideal friend
snip and gave promise of an ideal mar
rage. We fitted into each other like
ene naives OF perfect whole. It
eeemeo that the gods had planned it
al and we were but willing. foolishly
happy puppets in their hands. The
oiendlng of our love and personalities
was beautiful to see. Then came the
serpent in our Garden of Eden with
the usual serpent results.
It happened on this wise. When /
cailed one evening Florilla did not
KISS me as was her custom. / offered
myseif as usual, but she purposely or
aDsent-mlndedly ignored me. | felt ex-
tremely awkward. 1t flashed through
my mind that her love for me had be-
gun TO grow cold. 1t filed me with
uneaslness and at the same time
tanned my passion into fame.
caught her in my arms impulsive-
~ and kissed her. Kissed her on the
snaky coils of her hair, for to my
olsmay when she fathomed my inten-
ZION she ducked her face and must
perforce expend the exuberance of my
aHectlon upon her hair-or was it her
hair?
She struggled from my embrace,
holding her hands out Extensively.
Don't, Harold, don't. You mustn't
kiss me-"
Florilla, what has come over you ?n
asked. following her up.
Please sit down, Harold, and let me
explain" she said determinedly. 1--we
peen reading"
Reading? What has that to do with
/. your refusing to kiss me?"
Don't interrupt me, Harold. I've
peen reading that wonderful book,
The lnsidious Pervasiveness of
Germs by Professor Helmbalts Won
Baldoni. He says people little sus-
pect the danger that threatens them
every minute of their lives; that there
are millions of deadly germs lowering
about us waiting a favorable oppor-
tun1ty to assault us, strike us down.
They are in the air, on the furniture
and bric-a-brac, on our clothing and
bodies. He says larvae are more to
be feared than lions. You shouldn't
have kissed my hair, Harold You
were taking an awful"
"Florilla, what nonsense. Won Bal
doni is crazy"
It's terrible to think of, Harold"
Florilla went on ignoringly: "but he
said where there was "a mustache
or beard-it gave me the creeps when
/ read that, and we'd always been SO
reckless. And you have such a little
dear of mustache. But think, dear,
what might have happened That's
the reason, dear Harold, I didn't kiss
you." she said naively. her eyes avoid
ing mine.
$50 your fear of Baldoni germs out
weighs your love for me-" said
coldly.
Harold, don't be unreasonable. 1
love you just the same, only couldn't
think Of angering--we-can love
each other just as devotedly-"
And cut out unsanitary oscillation"
I interrupted, ironically. "You are
quite correct. couldn't think for a
moment of inoculating you with any Of
the fifty-seven varieties of insidious
germs Professor Baldon1 writes of so
illuminatingly. So ours will be q kiss
less engagement We will love strict
ly along sanitary and scientific lines
Is there anything else Professor Won
Bald advises lovers to cut out? While
we are at it, we had better settle on
some definite program so as to avoid
the chance of embarrassing each
other"
Nov, don't be silly, Harold There's
nothing we need to cut out-if-you'd
cut your mustache. Really would you
dislike it very much. Harold?"
And you'll stand for the conse-
quences? ?"
Eyes"
81 warn you, Florilla, 1t will make a
difference in my appearance. You've
never seen me shaven."
"How foolish. Do you think fell in
love with your mustache? It's such a
delicate little mustache, too, Harold"
"You were kind enough once" said
reproachfully, ito say it was hand
some. That it gave me distingue
air"
$50 did. It does. But may ad-
mire you even more with it off, if that
were possible. and-and I'd feel SO
much safer"
"Then off she. he or 1T goes" said
with heroic fnality. Never again will
YOU see me adorned with hirsute,
delicate or otherwise, if it brings the
shadow of a shade between u.s."
/ rose and bent over her. selling her
arm.
kiss me, Florilla." said persua-
sively: sjust as kind of farewell to
to the old order of things"
"Td love to, Harold, but win not
lust from principle and-because
vou'ye been so sarcastic"
aoh, beg your pardon--I-"
ef.ord night Harold" she said hold