davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
-,.T7~JFUL MOUNT GLRSwooD
CEMETERY.

rrs,, Colored family in Chicago has
r-s,5 opportunity to secure a family
e. lot at a very low price and
- terms, $500 cash and $500 per
nOnth.
yog viii find a coupon printed on
-,,5,. page in this issue which is
ID for $500 as the first payment on
r.r,s.arv lot in Beautiful Mount
,.,,rvoc,. when accompanied with a
mali .r,h payment of $500 on any lot
: So. ii F or c, or $500 and any lot
De- e.. This offer is only good un-
i U.-,h l, so those who are wise
ILL, advantage of this opportunity
- bgv lot and make a saving of $500.
, Cemetery lot is a family necessity
md H. time to buy is when you are
:, heath and are able to make the
mall ravments. A Chicago Cemetery
l,t IN "a new Cemetery like Beautiful
vourr Glenwood is also a good invest
rsur "a, these lots must grow in value
o.. improvements are made and the de-
~,pd IN, reases each year for lots.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
vAYMAN CHAPEL NOTES.

SersIr Sunday, February %, will
l. ?, follows: Preaching at 1l:0O A.
Y The sunday Club will meet at 4:3O
, N. Ii, which time the North Side
Womrn Club will furnish the pro-
gram.
The Pastor is preaching a series of
sermons uu the seven songs of Revela-
ZION. The sermon Sunday night will be
The SOM of Power, in WHICH is a
pbrophecy Of final battle of the nations
Of the earth. This will be the third
sermon on this very important subjeSt.
Preaching 7:45 P. NJ.
SUNDAY. March 3. Special services
al day Sunday night will be wit
messed a bible scene. Characters in
ancient costumes will represent this
Gene Just prior to the sermon.
Every Sunday morning during the
month Of March there will be special
sermons, on the Law of the Lord, at
loo 4. VI.
Miss lone Goode and Miss Blanch
Abernathv Will give a concert for the
ltneft of the rally.
The Thimble Club was recognized
AZ the Pastors Tuesday night. Mrs.
l. T. Stewart, President.-"S-"
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
COUNTY JUDGE OWENS APPOINTS
INHERITANCE TAX COM.
MISSIONER.

County Judge John f. Owens this
week appointed Charles A. Ward as
one of the Inheritance Tax Commits
aOners attached to the County Court.
similar appointments were made by
Judges Carter and Rinaker; Maj. F.
4. DcnisOn serving under the former
and :. Laing Williams under the latter.
M. Ward graduated from the North
western University Law School and has
been in the active practice for the past
seven wears.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
THE BROAD AK CAN BE FOUND
ON SALE AT THE FOLLOW
ING NEWS STANDS:

From on and after this date The
Broad AK, can be found on sale at
the following news stands:
A. F. Tervalon, cigar store and
news stand, 1904 State street.
George 7. Martin, make. o: fine
cigars and news stand, Is w. 3lst
ST., near State.
R. NJ. Harvey's barber shop and
news stand, 1924 State street
Mrs. Nellie Phelps, cigars, notions
and news stand, Is W. seth St., near
Dearborn.
w. s. Cole. cigars, tobacco and
news stand, "a w. 3lst ST., near
Dearborn.
T. B. Hall, laundry Office and news
stand, II w. 10Th St, near State.
Mrs. Jas. H. Lewis, notions. cigars
and newsstand. IS w. Seth ST., near
State.
B. Davis. cigars, tobacco and news
stand, 1892 State St.
w. NJ. Maxwell, notions, cigars,
tobacco, CONNECTIONS and news stand,
5244 State ST.
Edward Felix, notions, cigars and
news stand, 81 w. 30th ST.
F. Bishop, cigars, tobacco and news
stand, 8 w. 9th ST., near State.
Turner Williams barber shop and
news stand, 32S2 State St.
Sylvester McGlofAin, news stand
and laundry Office, 4l22 State ST.
William Gaughan, laundry Office,
cigars, tobacco and news stand. 1856
State ST.
Mrs. Adella NJ. White, cigars, to-
bacco, candies and news stand 2S2O
1-2 State ST.
T. S. Harris, cigars, tobacco, no
tons and news stand 302o Armour
Ave. near 3lst St.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
MhN1

why DO ] never get a seat
In any subway train?
Why must / always clutch q strap
Which gives my arm a painr
A passenger cried to a guard
Who pushed him through the door.
"Oh." said the guard. its due to the
Uncertainties OF lAWr'
New York Pross
Why do New Workers when they wtsk
To md a rhyme for door
Ignore such words as bore and sore
And more and four and floor?
To drag In law in such a case
Appears a pity. for
II rather tends to indicate
That they pronounce Il ''laHr."
Chicago Record Herald
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
The Castle In Chess.

The castle i'm chess owes its shape
and name to misunderstanding of its
old Italian name. .'rucCu. rs IL il were
"rOcca." castle or fortress. The words
rocco. rock and ruC tFrcnChI come from
rohk. the old Persian name Of the
piece which was in the shape of an
elephant. CuriuuSly enough. the ele-
plant carried Il little castle on his back.
and the pnSiiinn of the piece ON the
board seemed suitable for castle.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

The Choral Study Club on Monday
evening at the Grace Presbyterian
Church, delightfully."- rendered "The
Seven Last Words of Christ" and
MendelsSohn's 'Lauda Sion" the
church was well filled and the sing
ing by all the members OF the club
was exceedingly fine. Prof. Pedro
+. Tinsely was at his best in directing
the fifty active members of the club.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
The Secret.

A certain Washington family is con
WINGED that its eight-year-old LOpefu;
Is destined to become a great scientist.
BE has already begun to see the con-
nection between cause and effect.
Not so long ago this youngster was
looking at a drop of water through a
microscope. Here. there. and every
where were darting animalculae.
Now I know" announced the child
TO the family, what sings when the
kettle boils. It's those little bugs.
Farm Life.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
EncIand's ROYAL Motto.

The m"JIn uT The I.,al drm> "f Eng
land. 'Dicu ct mon drDit. has dis
puted origin. Some writers attribute
IL tn Richard L. vino adopted il To i'm
ply that hr held Li> crown from no
other sovereign. hut only 10y divine per
mission and hereditary RICH, Others
affirm that il WIS first used Icy Edward
Ill. when hr laid claim &" the French
crown in right of his mother. Isabella.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
Inadenuata Refreshment.

Lady Ito exhausted furniture remov-
ers(-Here's fOurpence for you and
your friend to get glass Of beer with
Exhausted Furniture RemOver-A
glass Of beer? Love us. lady, a glass
Of beer amt no more to us than a
snowflake on a red hot stOve,-London
Oninion.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
Bacon.

II you'd listen to the boosters as they
crow like corn fed ROSTERS you would
think that he created tlSa whole world.
Why. they say he wrote the Bible. old Bill,
Shakespeare was a libel. and With
Nnanias Milton he has furled.
E.picteiuS Wa u faker and old Homer
90 ilu-A:Iker: To Alexander Pope
e.. q. 'iCt! a can:
- d.. ...4 a WAS "A liar. Walter Scott q
g. Francis BACON was a mighty
a.. :. %
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
Complimentary.

IHi" iu:n Have you named your
al. 80. FRY:
e. RI: Si.Tr thing. ! named him
after you.
Tnric Tom-That's not very compli-
mentary. j. IL:
Harry-Oh. well he hasn't got sense
enough 10 know the difference.-Chica-
90 News
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
Distribution of Effort.

Il put a lot Of work on that speech
OF mine" said the new member Of con
Gress.
"Of course you did" replied the vet
eran. After you have been here a
while you'll learn 10 put less work Oh
your original speech and save yourself
for the explanations" - Washington
Star.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
DR.. THEO. R. MOzEE
DENTIST
I5I5 SOUTH STATE STREET
CHICAGO
Phone. Oakland 1859: Automatic 7soss
A DINING Room Hint.

Before serving dinner place a bowl
Of boiling water. into which has been
dropped a little oil Of lavender. on the
dining table. This will overcome the
closeness Of the atmosphere and the
odors from the kitchen or pantry which
have penetrated into that part OF the
house
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Prof. 4. {. Cigars Orchestra, as
sisted by high-class vocalists, gave a
grand musicale and entertainment
Monday evening at Quinn Chapel,
for the benefit of the Quinn S. s.
Athletic Association. The affair was
well attended.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Society is out Of gear.
Well may the thoughtful pause and
ponder
II one NAV have a wife down hare
And an affinity on yonder.
Exchange
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
In Leap Year.

She-Sir. would like to speak to YOU
about your son.
His Father-Well:
She-I want Ia marry him.
His Father-IIOw does he feel about
It?
She-I am unable tn say just how he
does feel about it. hut he said yes.-St.
Louis POst-DiSpatch.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Attorney William L. Martin, has re-
moved his law offices from l64 w
Washington street, to Room 9l6 Chi.
cago Opera House Block. See hi:
card in another column of this paper
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
Cause For Anger.

Gee. whiZ: ! wish | c"u lind the
fellow who stole my umbrella.
"Oh. cut it out, Why do you make
q fuss over little thing like thatE'
Little thing: Why. man. ] actual
" bought that umbrella. - athOlic
Standard and Times.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
At the Peace Palace.

The guns are banging DER the sea
In Ecuador the gore flows free.
The Turks are led a merry dance.
There's mischief on in angry France.
In China. too. they smite and slay.
And hundreds fall in Paraguay.
But still, although the news is vague,
Ais quiet in the dear old Hague.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Attorney Albert H. Putney. Demo
cratic candidate for associate justice
of the Municipal Court, is well known
in the Town of Lake For some
years ago. he was a member OF the
30th Ward Democratic Club, and on
primary day April 9th, the voters will
remember him in this section of the
city
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
Money Makers.

Gracious exclaimed the kind old
lady to the beggar. Are they the hest
shoes you've got:'
Why. lady" replied the candid beg
gar, could yer imagine better ones
fur dis biZness? Every one o dem
holes means nickels an dimes ter me-
Catholic Standard aud Times.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
A GuffraEetts
May fight and night
And still look under
The bed At night.
Birmingham Age-HSrald.

Bacon-It IS said that statistics show
that fat men are rarely criminals
Egbert-Why. don't you think It
should be considered criminal to over
eat?-Yonkers Statesman.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Merchant Ito strsnEer)-I thank you,
sir, for helping my clerk throw that
book agent out. Now, what can / do
for your
Stranger-Td like to sell you the
Life Of washingtOn."-Bos Tran
script
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

II she is statuesque and tall.
A frowning Juno sort OF girl.
The kind to queen IL at a ball.
Be sure her name is Dimple Pear
But II she's little and alert,
The kind Of girl you want TO pet,
A blithe companion and a fi!rt,
Then it's Augusta AntOinette.
-p1Ick
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Those two women always greet
each other with the most ELUSIVE cor
diality."
Yes" replied Miss Cayenne. Each
takes pride in showing the other how
artistically she can conceal her real
elings."-WashingtO Star.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
The Work.

It's de work what brings de rest
Makes one dollar ten.
When you does yo' level best
De angels shouts. Amen
Atlanta Constitution.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
Peace.

The dove of peace refused to land
Quoth he, Il think Ill wait
Until 1 have enough TO buy
A suit OF Rrmor plate"
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
A Fallen Idol.

I'm not q hero any more:
She's learned that | have feet OF clay.
She's lost the faith she had Of yore-
A disappointment come her way.
Last night her algebra she brought
And asked me il Ia help her through II
And refused the aid she sought.
Admitting that / couldn't do 1t.
Detroit Free Press.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
Knew His Wife.

Aaster-Buttonsi
Manservant-Yes, sir.
Master-Don't forget to let me know
when it's 8 O'Clock. / promised to
meet my wife at .. and she'll be vexed
IL I'm not there when she arrives
Satire
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Mrs. D. H. Anderson, 3Ol8 State
street, returned home Monday morn
ing from ten days rest and vacation
trip to St. Louis, Mo.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
Illuminating Oils.

Illuminating oils uEIur '~ciUred from
petroleum. arr. >uld IN Cred Britain as
..parafiu oil. IN thu. United States as
"kpru>pur AMI uu ire continent of
EuruIt ~ ''rriiuri UrIvulcu:.I."
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

as there anything you can do better
than any one elSe:"
yes" replied the small boy. Il kin
read my own writin'."-LondOn Tit
Bits.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
Contentnent.

Far rather would l a rhymester be
And ply min" humble biz
Than have writ the poems that Shake
speare wrote
And be where Shakespeare is.
-Iippincott's Magazine.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

he (Soulfullyl-There are a thousand
stars tonight looking down upon you
Shells my hat on straight7-St
Louis Republic.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Punch and Judy shows were original
ed in Italy during the seventeenth CEN
fury. and were probably introduced
into England in the reign Of Charles ii.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

81 told him there were dozens OF
people right here i'm town who had
never heard of him. Il guess that
took him down a peg or two" Il
guess II didn't lie started right out
to find them and borrow money from
them."-HOuStnn Post.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

A woman can wear low shoes and
thin silk stockings in winter time with
out feeling any I'll effects, but she
would rapidly go into q decline II de
prived OF her furs.-Phnadelphia In
Quirer.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

To win himself both wealth and fame
A man will plunge into the whirl,
And when he's gained an hOnOred name
He goes and gives II 20 some girl.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
Suspense.

Yes, / saw the play"
The plot is rather complicated
dare say you were in suspense for
awhile"
Il was. / thought the woman In
front Of me wasn't going to take on her
big hat. but she finally did."-Kansas
City Journal.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Cary B. Lewis left Memphis, Tenn,
the first of this week on his way to
the far South.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

De Cobbe-watto IL a fine looking
fellow.
O'Brier-Yep. Even a calabash pipe
doesn't detract from his appearance
Buffalo News.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

"What is the best fuel for aerial
dights:"
Gasoline"
whats the best fuel for oratorical
dightsE'
Alcohol. "-Birmingham Age-Herald.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Larry, what have you been doing to
your noseE"
''Th' other mOrnin'. SCR. l let 1t get
in tn way av a bigger mans tisht."-
Chicago Tribune.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
Trimmed.

As rich a man as e'er you saw.
But when one day he went to law
The lawyers work was so complete
He now has scarce enough TO eat
-Birmingham Age-Herald-
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
OnIya Reminder.

Things are a bit queer at home, I'm
afraid. There's your wife sticking her
tongue out at you"
'fOh. no. She gave me a letter TO
most and she's merely reminding me
that / must put a stamp on # first
Fliegende Blatter.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Ny love for you II more" he said.
Than any tongue could utter
In fact. may with candOr say
You're worth your weight in butter.
Chicago Record Herald
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

They were sitting in the parlOr Of the
pretty little cottage. Darling" he
whispered ardently, I'VE are rolling on
ward in the car Of love"
yes, dear" she whispered. nesting
on his broad shoulder. and We don't
need any conductor to say Sit closer.
please Tilt Bits.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

The time viii come" Numbered the
suffragette orator. when woman VIII
get a mans wages
Yes" sadly muttered a man on the
rear seat: next Saturday night
Judge.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Yes. our hopes are raised
Most every day.
But what We want
IHa raise In nay
Cincinnati EnduireI
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
Platinum,

Platinum.
Platinum is found associated with
gold, principally in gravel beds.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
n...n,. kno,1 ANY Rsttsr.

GabeThat fellow Slick thinks be
knows 1t all
Steve-Of course be does. He isn't
married. you know. - Cincinnati IN
auirer.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
nh.I.t.,t About Peter

Peter. Peter. pumpkin eater.
Had a wife and tried 10 beat her.
BI,t his wife was suffraEette.
And Peters i'm the hospital ye'
Judge DO
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

'Is your bOOkkeeper's heart in his Of
dce work."
"EyerybOdy's heart is in the Office
work since the blond stenographer
ame."-KansRs City Journal
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

"Why do you always hold your arms
akimbo?"
Its the bundle habit. I'll outgrow
It after living I'm town for a few
Teeks."-LOuisville COurier-JOurnal.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Odd, Isn't III
To take a wife
Is a thing sublime.
But II she's your neishbors
The thing IL a crims!
Satire.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Toumy-Pop, why Is the wife called
the better half?
Tommy's Pop-In order. my son, that
she may not get the impression she Is
the whole thing.-Philadelphia Record
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
A Domestic Dialogue.

wife-You once gave me presenu'
But now I get naught-
Hub-DOes the angler give bait
To the fish he has caught2
Boston Transcript
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24
Appreciation.

American Tourist gazing into the
crater Of Mount SeSuviuSy-It looks
Just ike the Internal regions.
English T"uriSt-Oh. say. How
these Americans do travel.-Lite.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Helen. aged four, was spending .
night away from home. At bedtime
she knelt at her hostess's knee to say
her prayers, expecting the usual
prompting.
Finding Mrs. l. unable to help her
out, she concluded thus:
please. God. 'scuSe me. / can't
member my prayers, and I'm stayin'
with a lady that don't know any
Chicago News.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

State Senator Samuel A Ettelson,
is still making successful Roadway
in his campaign for States Attorney.
and all signs indicate that on primary
day April 9th, he will come in under
the wire ahead of all of MS competi-
tors on the Republican ticket
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

The PhalanX Club gave it first an
nual ball at Oakland Music Hall,
last Monday evening. Mr.. and Mrs.
Eugene F. Renfro led the grand
march. Many of those belonging to
the upper crust of the best Afro
American society were present at
the ball
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1912-02-24

Toumy-Pop, why Is the wife called
the better half7
Tommy's Pop-In order, my son. that
she may not get the impression she Is
the whole thing.-Philadelphia Record
Helen. aged four, was spending Q
night away from home. At bedtime
she knelt at her hostess's knee to say
her prayers, expecting the usual
prompting.
Finding Mrs. /. unable to help her
out, she concluded thus:
"Please. God. 'scuse me- / can't
member my prayers, and I'm staytn'
with a lady that don't know any
Chicago News.
The saddest words
Right on the bat
Are just these four:
I'm getting fat"
Memphis CommerciAl-Appeal
why do you always hold your arms
akimbo?"
ITS the bundle habit. I'll outgrow
It after living in town for a few
Teeks."-LOuisville COurier-JOurnal.
They were sitting in the parlOr Of the
pretty little cottage. Darling" he
whispered ardently, we are rolling on
ward in the car Of love"
Yes. dear" she whispered. nesting
on his broad shoulder. and we don't
need any conductor to say Sit closer.
please "-Tit-Bits.
Lives OF great men oft remind us
We need lots OF push behind Us.
Judge.
"Is your bOOkkeeper's heart in his Of
Zee work."
"EyerybOdy's heart is in the office
work since the blond stenographer
came. "-Kansas City Journal.
"What is the best fuel for aerial
fights"
Gasoline"
whats the best fuel for oratorical
hights?"
Alcohol. "-Birmingham Age-Herald
To win himself both wealth and fame
A man will plunge into the whirl.
And when he's gained an honored name
a. al
Cincinnati Enquirer.
els there anything you can do better
than any one else"
yes" replied the small boy. Il kin
read my own writin'. London Tit
Bits.
81 told him there were dozens Of
people right here i'm town who had
never heard of him" Il guess that
took him down a peg or two" Il
guess Il didn't. lie started right out
to find them and borrow money from
them."-HOuStnn Post.
II she is statuesque and tall.
A frowning Juno sort OF girl.
The kind to queen IL at a ball,
Be sure her name Is Dimpie Pear
But II she's little and alert,
The kind Of girl you want TO pet,
A blithe companion and a fi!rt,
Then it's Augusta AntOinette.
Puck.
Larry, what have you been doing to
your nose:"
''Th' other mOrnin'. sor. let II get
in tn way av a bigger mans fisht."-
Chicago Tribune.
Those two women always greet
each other with the most effusive cor
dIality."
Yes" replied Miss Cayenne. Each
takes pride in showing the other how
artistically she can conceal her real
feelings."- Star.
Society is out Of gear.
Well may the thoughtful pause and
ponder
Rone NAV have a wife down hare
And an affinity on yonder.
Exchange
he (soulfullyl-There are a thousand
stars tonight looking down upon you
Shells my hat on straight7-St
Louis Republic.
A woman can wear low shoes and
thin silk stockings in winter time with
out feeling any I'll effects, but she
would rapidly go into q decline II de-
prived OF her furs.-Phnadelphia In
Quirer.
A Guffra Eetts
May fight and night
And still look under
The bed At night.
Birmingham Age-HOrald.
Bacon-It Is said that statistics show
that fat men are rarely criminals.