davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
Good CarieAture.

The duke of Sutherland. in an inter
view in New York, condemned the
New York taxicab. which is, In truth.
by contrast with the luxurious taxi.
cabs of Paris and London, an out
rageously dear and outrageously ram
shackle conveyance.
"A New York cabby," he said
characterized your New York taxi
cab very we'll when, lady repulsina
him on the ground that she wanted q
taxi, he said:
"'Oh, step right in. madam. I've
Just cleaned my cushions with gaso
line and I'll guarantee to get stucl
twice, to run down q couple Of ole
women. and to charge you anythini
from ST up"
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
Pottsrlss Prospsrlna.

The output Of the pottery industries
Of the United States had . value Of
$34.61S.b60 In 1911. according to the
United States geological survey chart
Of clay products production. by states.
complied BY Jefferson Middletown.
The pottery collection for 1911 was
greater. than for 1910. when tho out
put was valued at S33. .7s4.67S. the in.
crease being 3733.SS1. OF the total
production. Ohio was nrst, with an
output valued At s14.776.2s5: New Jer-
sey second. with 3S.4o1.s41; West vir-
ginia third. with $3.50. .302; New York
fourth. with $2.17s.364: Pennsylvania
nth. with 32.15e.s17. and Indiana
sixth. with 31,004.7S7. The output Of
no other state had . value in excess
Of . million dollars.
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
The Poor Creature.

There was meeting of the new
teachers and the old. 1t was sort Of
love feast, reception. or whatever you
call 1t. Anyhow. all the teachers got
together and pretended that they
didn't have a care In the world. After
the eats were eat, the symposiarch
proposed toast: Long Live Our
Teachers!"
1t was drunk enthusiastically. One
OF the new teachers was called on to
respond. He modestly accepted. His
answer was: what on?"
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
HARD TO SEE.
Even When the Faets About Coffee
are Plain.

It IL curious how people will refuse
70 believe what one can clearly see.
Tell the average man or woman that
the slow but cumulative poisonous
effect Of caffeine-the alkaloid in tea
and cofee-tends to weaken the heart.
upset the nervous system and cause
Indigestion. and they may laugh at
you II they don't know the facts.
Prove It by science or by practical
demonstration in the recovery Of cof.
fee drinkers from the above condi.
tions. and large per cent Of the hui.
man family will shrug their shoulders.
take some drugs and-keep on drink
Ing coffee or tea.
Coffee never agreed with me nor
with several members Of our house.
hold" writes = lady. 1T enervates.
depresses and creates q feeling Of
languor and heaviness. It was only
by leaving OF coffee and using Postum
that we discovered the cause and way
out Of these ills.
"The only reason, am sure. why
Postum IL not used altogether to the
exclusion OF ordinary coffee 10. many
persons do not know and do not seem
willing to learn the facts and how to
prepare this nutritious beverage.
There's only one way-according to
directions-boil It fully Is minutes.
Then It 10 delicious" Name given by
Postum Co.. Battle Creek, Mich. Read
the little book. 1.-THE Road to Well
ville." in pkgs. There's q reason"
Ever read the above lsttePS A new
oae appears from time to time. They
ssrs Ge.ui.e: trse' and fsu OF human
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
Nothing More to Live For.

Nothing More to 1--we For.
Without question. the Scots curler
II whom Lord Lyveden tells In Fry's
Magazine. placed the proper value on
his sport.
During a recent curling-match in
Switzerland. the skip Of one of the
teams. who happened to be a Scots
man. was 80 delighted with the accu-
rate shot Of one of his team. that he
was heard to address him in the fol-
lowing manner: Lie down and dee.
mon: lie down and dee. Ye'll never
lay finer stane nor that II ye live to
be . hundred"
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
Like Mushrooms,

As they emerged from the subway
station they were confronted by a
giant skyscraper rising into the blue.
what building is that?" she asked.
not being an habitue of the downtown
district. II don't know" he replied.
She looked at him in surprise. this
quarter Of New York being his daily
locale. mo-" he insisted wearily. II
don't know. It wasn't there yester-
day."-New York Press.
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
Protected,

The late Thomas B. Reed. when q
lad. was requested to bail out small
boat that had been leaking badly, and
was almost full Of water.
Il can't do It," replied Tom, ITS
unconstitutional"
What do you mean?" inquired the
owner Of the boat.
THE constitution of the United
States says" replied the future states
man. that excessive bail shall not bo
required Of any man."
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
The Author at Her Busiest

The Author at Her Busiest.
Mr.. Wright-Is your husband busy
now?
Mrs. Penman--Oh, very busy.
Mr.. Wright-What Is he doing?
Mrs. Penman-He's at work on
story.
Mr.. Wright-Writing q story. Is hef
Mrs. Penman-Oh. no: he wrote 1t .
month ago. He's trying to sell It now.
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
Length Of skirts.

Hens out!
Several inches longer.
Away with chopped ones.
Two inches and two and q half
Is the proper height from the
ground.
The shoe top will now go into re-
tirement.
Skirts may be any wider.
But they are longer-which helps
some.
Some folks may drop their ham,
mers now.
Usually there is another up their
sleeve for the next change Of fashion.
Heigh.ho! but busybodies cannot be
expected to neglect their Jobs.
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
Ready to Objjue,

Little James. while at a neighbor's.
was given piece OF bread and butter.
and politely said. thank you!"
That's right, James," said the lady
II like to hear little boys say thank
you.'"
well. rejoined James. III you want
to hear me say 1t again, you might
put some jam on it."
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
NIW6y0 Nnoa0 OF him.

Miss Cute ian amateur palrnist)-
This line In your hand. Mr.. Dubb. in
dicates that you have brilliant future
before you.
Dubb-Is that SO?
Miss Cute-Yes; but this other line
Indicates that you are too slow ever
to overtake 1t.
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
Lucky.

This Is the third time. you have
been here for food" said the woman
at the kitchen door, to the tramp.
Are you always out Of work?"
"Yes'm," replied the itinerant. II
guess / was born under q lucky star"
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04

FOR SALE CHEAP, several thousand feet Of Il
Inch rvettsd steel pipe. Havons. l6l2 wa1eo street.
Denver.
We pay highest cash prices for old
copper. brass and lead scrap. Write
us what you have.
The sLACk-HORNER BRASS MFG. CO.
1855 Blake ST., Denver, Colo,
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
Their Natural Element,

Wife-How imprudent you are!
You've only just finished dinner. and
now you propose to bathe!
Husband-That's all right. my dear.
I ate nothing but fish.
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04

DENVER 4 RIO GRANDDAUGHTER
PACIFIC
THE Royal Gorge Feather River
Canon Route"
Taken together form the most beautI.
full line Of continuous travel Denver.
Salt Lake. city, San Francisco.
=. The marvellous scenic attractions uf
Utah and the wonders OF the sierrss
can be seen from the car windows,
without extra expense for side trips.
For illustrated descriptive matter.
yrite Frank 4. Wadleigh., General
Railroad. Denver. Colo.
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
Precaution.

Chimmie-Hey. Maggie. hold dis
bag O. peanuts fer me fer a minute
here comes a poor relation O. mine!-
Life.
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
The Mean Thing.

Mrs. Exe-My husband has some
thing laid aside for a rainy day.
Mrs. Wye-I know Tiny hus-
bands umbrella.
The Ordway new era., 1912-10-04
Uncle Pennywiss SAYS:

II may be that you can't fool thu
people all the time. but some politi
clans average . very high percentage
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27
RASH SPREAD TO ARMS

759 Roach Ave. indianapolis, Ind
"At first / noticed small eruptions on
my face. The trouble began as rash.
II looked like red pimples. In few
days they spread to my arms and back.
They itched and burned so badly that
/ scratched them and of course the re-
suit was blood and matter. The erup-
tons festered, broke, opened and dried
up, leaving the skin dry and scaly. l
spent many sleepless nights, my back,
arms and face burning and itching;
sleep was purely and simply out of
the question. The trouble also caused
Disagreement. My clothing irritated
the breaking out.
"By this time I had used several
well.known remedies without success.
The trouble continued. Then / began
to use the sample of Cuticura Soap
and Ointment Within seven or eight
DAYS | noticed gratifying results. /
purchased full-szed cake OF CUT
cura Soap and box of Cuticura ONT
ment and in about eighteen or twenty
days my cure was complete" (Signed)
Miss Katherine McCallister, Apr. 70.
1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world Sample Of each
free with 32-p. Skin Book Address
postcard "Cuticura, Dept. L. Boston"
Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27
DESIGN FOR LAMP SHADES
May Easily Re Made at Home at Lit
tie Financial Cost and Small
Trouble.

Have you seen the new lamp shades
in the shops, thoce made of pale silk
and decorated WITH pictures of Wat
teau shepherdesses and Gainsborough
beauties. Didn't you long to possess
one of them? Though expensive to
buy, they may be made at slight cost
and the method is very simple for
the girl who is deft with her fingers.
First buy a wire frame to fit your
lamp. Cover it with a straight length
of silk shirfed or full and fastened
tightly top and bottom to the frame.
Finish with plating of silk at the
upper and lower edges.
The pictures to be fastened on
should be such as Madame lie Brun
and Her Daughter" and other small
prints of famous paintings of that pc
riod. These may be bought for a few
cents each at a picture Dealers Four
or FIVE different pictures are needed.
Trim them all to the same size ana
shape, al oval or all round. If they
are printed on thin paper, mount each
On a backing of plain paper. cumming
of the picture. Then, arranging all
the pictures at regular distances
apart, sew them firmly and neatly to
the silk A tiny gilt braid should be
sewed around each picture as a frame
covering any stitches that might 9th
erwise show.
Now cut away the silk from under
the pictures, hemming down the cut
edges carefully on the wrong side In
many OF the shades for sale in the
shops this is not done. and the folds
of silk show through and make dark
streaks across the pictures, when the
light shines through. BY cutting away
the silk, you insure a clear image Of
the picture when the lamp is lighted
If your work has been done neatly
the result will be a shade which will
elicit admiration from every beholder
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27
A PENALTY OF AGE

The tendency of advancing years to
restrict activity and exercise is re-
sponsible for the constipated condition
of most elderly people. The wear of
years impairs the action Of the bow
els and the digestive organs are more
sensitive to the demands upon them
and rebel more quickly. Cathartics
and purgatives are violent and dras-
tic in their action and should not be
used to correct constipation. A mild.
yet positively effective remedy, and
one that is recommended by physi-
clans as well as by thousands who
have used it. is the compound of sim
pie laxative herbs with pepsin pre-
scribed by DR. ". B. Caldwell over
thirty years ago and now sold by drug
gists everywhere under the name of
DR.. Caldwells Syrup Pepsin. Dr.
Caldwell wants everyone troubled with
constipation TO try Syrup Pepsin and
viii send a trial bottle. free Of charge
to all VINO write for it, Address DR.
w. r. Caldwell, 203 West St, Month
cello, Ill adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27
HOW GIRLS
MAY AVOID
PERIODIC PAINS
The Experience of Two Girls
Here Related For The
Benefit of Others.

Rochester, N. Y.-"I have q daugh-
ter 10 years old who has always been
very healthy until recently when she
complained of dizziness and cramps every
month, so bad that would have to keep
her home from school and put her to bed
to get relief.
CATER giving her only two bottles of
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound she is now enjoying the best of
heaish. j cannot praise your Compound
TOO highly. want every good mother
to read what your medicine has done for
my child. Mrs. RICHARD N. DUNBAR,
81 Exchange St, Rochester, NY.
Stoutsville, Ohio. -"I suffered FROM
headaches, backache and was very irreg-
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27
Nenl Ideas In Furn.

Fur is sometimes considered super
fuous where these muffs are concern
ed, and some of the prettiest have a
long curling ostrich plume OF either
side. entirely taking the place Of the
fur and making a very soft and attrac-
tive finish The Tapping saddle-bag
shaped type of nun is entirely out of
favor. many Of the new designs being
round. with the fur draped softly in
stead of being stretched tightly over
the surface. while they are big enough
to have satisfied the demands Of our
Observation-Disclosures whose muffs we're
invariably larger than their hats.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27
CONTENTION WAS ALL RIGHT
Lawyer, However, Qualified Admission
With a Remark That Had
Unkind Sound.

The jury was hearing the closing
arguments in a damage suit before
Judge Ben NJ. Smith, in which SANDER
was alleged. The attorney fcs the
plaintiff had been directing his broad
sides against the defendant for his
show of ingratitude. when the latter's
counsel objected.
Gratitude is inspiring but is not a
constitutional requirement" interpos-
ed the director. who had borrowed sew
eral law books from the other lawyer
some time before.
"One look as your face convinces me
that you are right" said the first law
yer. IF gratitude were a constitutional
requirement you couldn't be a citizen. F"
Chicago Evening Post.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

well and hearty and weigh about
200 pounds. / feel very grateful that
| found Dodds Kidney Pills and you
may publish this letter If you wish. |
am serving my third term as Probate
Judge of Gray Co Yours truly,
PHILIP MILLER, Cimarron, Kan.
Correspond with Judge Miller about
this wonderful remedy.
Dodds Kidney Pills, soc. per box at
your dealer or Dodds Medicine Co,
Buffalo, N. Y. Write for Household
Hints, also music OF National Anthem
English and German words) and re-
cipes for dainty dishes. All sent free.
Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27
Rhlnes+nnes Eneotlve

Silver and crystal represent the key
note Of the new trimmings There is a
crystal lace which follows the design
Of fabric lace Rhinestones viii fash
from gowns in many ways this winter.
They form the outline Of bodice gar
niture. Of girdle and Of sleeves. Ef-
fectiye as the rhinestone trimming ls,
it should be used disereetly. as It is
ye1y easily overdone.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27
ROYALTY WELCOMES THE
AMERICAN SETTLER
HIS ROYAL iiIGHNEss, THE DUKE
OF coNNAuGHT. WELCOMES
AMERICANS TO CANADA.

IL was happy speech, that on that
beautiful October day, the Duke of
Connaught, GoVernor-General of Can
ada, made at Macleod. Alberta. It
was an opportune speech, heartful
and resonant with good fellowship.
And. as it was specially intended for
american ears, the audience, COM
prlsed largely of so many American
settlers in Canada, the time and place
could not have been better chosen.
1t was in reply to an address of well
come rendered to him az the pretty
city Of Macleod, with the foothills of
the Rockies as a setting, and the
great wheat fields between. and in
fact all around the place as the fore
ground, that His Highness, true to the
best interests of the country and to
those of the Americans VINO choose
TO make Canada their home, said in
part:
Il am well aware that among those
whom I am now addressing, there are
very great proportion who were not
born under the British flag. Most of
these will have realized by now that
residence under that flag implies no
disabilities. All we ask is that the
laws of Canada should be obeyed.
With this provision every one is
free to come and go, to marry, to live
and to die as seems best to him. and
as it pleases Providence.
I'VE bring no pressure to bear on
anyone to adopt the Canadian nation
ality, for we do not value citizenship
which is obtained under compulsion.
Our American cousins are welcome
from over the border. Thrice we well
come our Canadian and British broth
ers. who return to the Union Jack. aft
er living under the Stars and Stripes.
History is repeating itself. For
many years hundreds of young Brit
ishers have sought fortune in the
western States. Time has brought
about change, and the tide has set
in the other direction, bringing across
the frontier numbers of our neighbors
to whom we are glad to return hos
pitalities.
Zone of the chief dispensers of such
hospitality in proportion to its popu-
lation has, as we have said, changed
its character from an important cat
tie town to a thriving wheat producing
area.
What it has lost from the pictur-
esque point of view, it has gained in
the material side, and l wish, in con-
clusion, to express the hope that the
prosperity which has evinced itself
here for the past ten years, may con-
tinue undated in the future"
There is no reason why at a hun
dred places on this educative, instruct
i've and interesting trip of His Royal
Highness he might not have express
ed himself in the same terms, and on
each occasion, addressed large gather
ings of Americans who are now set
tied on the prairies of Western Cana.
da-Advertisement.
EXnIained.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27
His snanlelons Aroused.

Lecturer-Al statistics prove that
the blond woman is more difficult TO
get along with than the brunettes.
Astonished Man in the Audience
fstarting up)-Are you certain of the
fact?
Lecturer-It is a fact
Astonished Man--Then believe my
wifes black hair is dyed.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27
Evening Goats.

White satin and broadcloth are pop
MAR materials for evening coats: vel
vet and brocaded silk are newer and
are preferred where service ard ex.
pense need not be considered
These new embossed velvets on the
sheerest and most clngine Of crepe
or satin o. chiffon grounds have been
seized eagerly by the evening coat de
signer. and exceedingly beautiful mod
ell have been built from them The
velvet may be ia one tCne or two
tones. may combine gold or silver With
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

ular. A friend ad-
vised me to tax e
Lydia E. Pinkham's
V e ge ia Bile Com
pound, and before I
had taken the whole
of two bottles I
found relief. / am
only sixteen years
old, but / have bet
ter health than for
two or three years.
| cannot express my
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

var. and has the front and back of the
stripe. The upper part of front turns
back with little revers faced with
material, and showing a little vest OF
lace to match collar The sleeves are
drawn up and set to bands of the
stripe.
Materials required: Three ard one
half yards cashmere Al inches wide.
one yard foulard 10 inches wide one
fourth yard lace for vest and a lace
collar, about four dozen buttons.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

my breath was
short and / had
cLilis and back
ache. { took the
pills about a year
ago and have had
no return of the
palpitations. Am
now 6S years old,
able to do lots of
manual labor, am
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

thanks for what Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound has done for me.
/ had taken other medicines but did not
find relief. Miss CORA B. FosNAUGH,
Stoutsville, Ohio, RED, No. l.
Hundreds of such letters from moth
ers expressing their gratitude for what
Lydia Z. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound has accomplished for their daugh-
ters have been received by the Lydia E.
Pinkham Medicine Company, Lynn, Mass.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27
Diana of the Air.

The beautiful and athletic Eleanora
Sears, at a luncheon at Sherry's. said
of aviation:
4 like the biplane well enough, and
the monoplane / am simply head over
heels i'm love with
To this remark one Of Miss Sears
many unsuccessful suitors answered
reproachfully:
All. another case of man being sup
planted by machinery"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27
IN New York.

First Prison OGicial-Well have 20
stop giving permits to people to go in
and see the prisoners
Second Prison Ofiicial-Why so?
First Prison Oficial-Too much cor
fusion They keep getting in the way
of the fellows who are escaping
Puck
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

The MaId-Billy Brown says l have
the prettiest mouth III the world.
The Man-Did he? I'd put mine up
against it any day English Magazine
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

He says she made his life a sa.
hara"
Maybe that's why he has such a
terrible thirst.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27
JUDGE CURED. HEART TROUBLE

took about 6 boxes of uodds Kid
ney Pills for Heart Trouble from
which / had suffered for years.
had dizzy spells, my eyei pulled,
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

Or. Pierces Pleasant Pellets first put up
40 years ago. They regulate and invigonte
stomach. liver and bowels. Sugar-coated
tiny granules. Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

You can always get a lot for your
money If you patronize a real estate
dealer
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

And n tricky man. like a WORKOUT
deck of cards. is hard TO deal with.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

AS a girl grows older she becomes
wiser and quits wearing so many pins
in the vicinity of her waist line.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

Eben-So Miss Antique is going to
get married at last. Who is the lucky
man?
Flo-The clergyman. He's going to
get paid for it and assumes no re-
sponslhility.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

YOU CAN CURE CATARRH
By usiaE Coles Carboisalve. Il Is most
effective remedy. All druggists. Is and soc. Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

its color scheme on a shot ground Of
chiffon or crepe.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

Explained.
Why do epitaphs always begin.
Here lies-""
Because the majority of them do"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27
Pretty fer Afternoon.

The illustration shows an effective
style for cloud gray cashmere. The
skirt is fulled in on the hips, and
trimmed with a "" shaped piece OF
back of waist, also each side of foot;
buttons are sewn down the center
stripe OF each of these pieces. The
bodice has sleeves and sides cut Mag
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

Rather Mixed.
Hes dead in earnest"
Yes, I've noticed he's a live one"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-11-27

brown may be the prevailing color
This. too, is an imported novelty and
costs S. yard.
Another velour whipcord, also i'm
ported, has very fine black diagonal
ribs separated by narrow lines OF gray
blue. green or brown silk. This gives
the effect OF different oolors in differ
ent lights and is very lovely 1t is
much finer in texture than the others
and ii is particularly suitable for the
handsome two an three-pieee cos
tunes or wraps for afternoons.
Still another novelty. and quite d.
ferent from any of the preceding, is =
brocaded velour de lame" The raised
velour design is the same color as the
wool background, otherwise the effect
would be too garish. Even so. one
could scarcely imagine this material.
attractive as it is. being employed for
an entire costume. 1t is clearly in
tended to be used in conjunction with
a plain tissue. say, for example, a
silk and wool pOplin of the same
shade,