Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-11-14

the reply. 1.-The d-n things won't eat
it,
A bachelor who lived near Paris
managed 10 secure much amusement
out of Il "topsy-turvey room," which he
had built i'm his house. A gentleman.
who MAS N of Il stag party that Wis
tied him from Saturday to Monday.
SAYS: When we woke up. about ,
o'clock. on Sunday morning. after Il
jolly evening. one of our number. sound
asleep ON the couch i'm the billiard room
was carried out like a log by a couple
of servants. My host gave ME Il SOL
emn wink. and told me hat IL Il sud-
den summons came l was to rush from
my bedroom. or else l might miss a
but sleep-and Was relieved when the
came To find that it was
broad daylight. Yawning. l followed
the valet. and found myself. with four
others. silently peeping through little
holes i'm a wall. The scene WAS ABB
waking to full consciousness. WAS ly-
ing ON a plastered floor. looking up in
horror at a carpeted ceiling. Two
heaNN couches. AN easy chair. chairs
and tables. secured fastened. stared
down at him from above. The mans
rectly over his head. from which a
fiaring rose-apparently real-was
blooming. He gave a cry. and. rolling
over. grasped With frenzicd hands the
stem of the chandelier which came up
through the floor. The host burst into
the room with a loud laugh. "T'hey all
do it," he cried. they fear they Will fall
up To the ceiling"
Secretary Wilson was talking about
the record crops of 1872. These Won
derful crops" he said. are almost
Nm fA Nn1 49,. -I.---
cut saw story. A farmer. you know.
sent his hired man to a neighbours with
a note. saying: Friend Smith: Will
you please lend me your cross-cut saw,
as | wish to cut a watermelon up, so
as to get it into my dray.' The neighbor
wrote back; Friend mes: l would
be glad to LEND you my saw. but same
has Just got stuck in a canteloupe.'"
when l first decided to ALLOW the
people OF Tupelo to use my name as
u candidate for congress l went out to
q n~eighboring parish to speak, said
Private John Allen recently to some
friends at the old Metropolitan hotel
Ito Washington.
after the meeting. 'Marse Allen he
said. is powerful glad to see you. rs
known oh 70 sense yo' wuz a baby.
knew yo' pappy long befo' yo-all wuz
bohn. too. He used to hold de same Of
flee you got now. l members how he
held dat same office f' wears an
years.,
"What office do YOU mean. uncle"
4 asked, AS l never knew pop held any
office.
Why. de office of candidate. Marse
John: yo' pappy was a candidate 70
years
During a discussion OF the fitness Of
things in general some one asked:
IF a young man takes his best girl 20
the grand opera. spends a 80 note on a
supper after the performance, and then
kiss her good night?'
AN old bachelor who was present
growled:
II don't think she ought to expect it.
Seems to me he has lone enough for
her"
"You must have had a terrible experi-
ence. with no food and mosquitoes swarm
inE around you, said a friend to the Shin
wrecked mariner who had been cast away
upo a tropical island.
You just bet / had a terrible experi-
ence.' ne acknowledged. MY experience
was worse than that of the man who
wrote Water, water everywhere. but not
a drop TO drink With me it was bites.
bites everywhere, but not a bite to eat"
Frank p. Morse. the press agent.
walked into a fashionable hotel in Chi
cago n evening and wrote on the
register the set of peculiar hieroglyph-
les which he is pleased to call his sig
nature. How much will you charge
me for a room and BATH" he inquired,
With an air of. a man to whom money
was not a question. The clerk told
him. Yes. yes said Morse. with ex-
treme ~urbanity. quite So. Now I
would like to see MIR. James, What
Mr.. James, asked the clerk. MIR.
James, the proprietor of this HOTEL ex-
planned Morse. What was more to the
point, he grew very peevish when the
clerk insisted that Mr.. James was not
me proprietor of the hotel. and that no
Mr.. James was in the house. You
can't kid me-" said Morse angrily. II
want to see Mr.. James. the proprietor
OF this hotel. and 1 want to see him
quick. 1 mean Mr.. Jesse James. the
most notorious robber OF modern
A North Carolina negro was brought
out on the gallows to be hanged for
murder.
Henry" said the sheriff. have you
anything to say?"
Vas. subj" said the condemned man.
Use got 2 ew words to say. I merely
wishes to state dat dis suttinly is
goin' to be g lesson to met"
Aunt Caroline and the partner OF
her woes evidently found connubial
bliss q misnomer, for the sounds of
war were often heard down in the little
cabin In h hollow. Finally the pair
were hailed into court. and the dusky
lady entered a charge of abusive Ian
guage against her spouse. The Judge,
who had known them all his life, en-
a Tn VNNNN~ NO. 49, 49,