davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
University Missourian., 1912-04-11
Fitting Climax To Hard
Campaign For Junior
Prom Committee Place.
Best Man For Job. He
Says.

A fitting climax to long poiitlcal
campaign came recently in the cleo
ton of the Hon. DavidO p. Tackus
as freshman representative on the
Junior Prom Committee. The cam
paign was a hard one because OF the
large number of candidates who were
i'm the race. Bosses on both sides
labored day and night to accomplish
the victory for the respective parties
but at no time was the contest con-
sidered close until the last count was
made of the votes.
The race was all the more spectacu-
lar for the reason that two DAYS be-
fore the election it was announced
that Tackus had Withdrawn from the
race. Friends persuaded him not TO
give up the fight and redoubled their
efforts in his behalf with the result
that Mr.. Tackus won by wide mar
gin over all other competitors.
The scene at the convention was
one of widest enthusiasm. The NOM
mating speech was made by a close
friend and for that reason was all
University Missourian., 1912-04-11
WINS PROM
OFFICE AFTER FIGHT

the more touching particularly al
ooints where Mr.. Tackus was alluded
10 as the tittest candidate ror the posi-
tjon because of his highly developed
social proclivities. Mr.. Tackus in his
reply to the nominating speech admit
ted that without doubt he stood bet
ter with the feminine sex in Columbia
than any other freshmen and that
there were possibilities that he might
even wrest honors from those who
we're better known because of their
long continued residence in the city
as students. In his speech after the
returns were all in he stated that
his withdrawal earlier in the race
was due to modesty rather than the
idea that any one else had any bet
fer chance for victory. Cheers last
ing hours followed the announcement
OF the final returns and when Mr..
Tackus had finished speaking the en-
thusiasm was uncomfortable.
University Missourian., 1912-04-11

after the discovery of Echo Springs
Bat as days passed without even a
schooner appearing in sight their
hopes of rescue vanished like bubbles
The supply of fish bait ran low. Old
Crows became scarce and raw Oy-
sters unpalatable, as their stay was
prolonged What had seemed the first
few days a lark became drearisome
monOtony before the Bordeaux was
sighted The Blue Ribbon was called
in play for a flag of distress.
The couple was taken aboard the
bordeaux in boat sent out. Hardly
had he sci foot on the deck when DR..
Farmerlee was almost tipped over by
DR. iIallwood. who exclaimed. Great
Cod Mammon. Your ship and all
aboard were reported lost
Doctor Farmerlee answered gravely
I"iIowevah. taking all things into con-
sidera,ion. should say that the re-
port was in error
After reaching Port Wine. Virginia
Dare met an old school mate, Miss
Ann Tiser. who was bridesmaid al
the wedding which followed. DR.
Hallwood vas the best man, and
Brother b. Romo Seller performed
the ceremony.
The plans of Mr.. and Mrs. Farmer
: lee are to make their future home or
Green River, Kentucky, where Doc
tor Farmerlee owns the magnificent
! estate, Mountain Dew" The newly
welded couple will sail today on the
! Iayner for New York. from which city
they will proceed to Columbia, Mo.
| on Wilson's Highball-That's all.
University Missourian., 1912-04-11

have in cOmOn is that all of them
can make good music.
When they go to ST. Louis to play
at football game. a good many visit
the ST. Anheuser Missionary Society,
founded by Hon. Adolphus Busch, and
get considerable spiritual strength.
But they can play as well full as
empty. SO what's the difference?
BIZZY IZZY.
Little lzZy is the biZZiest bizZv man
in the University. lie can make more
fuss per square inch than any two
other men in school. He is the
Professor OF Political Science and
Public Law and Dean OF the
University Faculty and SO forth.
He has an international repula-
ton as an advocate of world
peace and is the leading cross country
runner and golf player of the faculty.
except. OF course. Doctor Banley, who
is professional.
Izzy is the man who lets You enter
the University. If You will bring him
a picture of your high school gradual
ing class. not To mention Your diploma
and grade card, he will consider
whether or not he will permit you
TO go to school here. When you come
to his Office. one OF his assistants
will give YOU a little slip of paper
with a number on it. 1t will probably
be T. .22233.113 or higher. so that if you
come back in TWO or three months it
will be YOUR turn to see him.
BiZZy IzZy makes it a rule never
to say two words in the same tone OF
voice. He can make his vocal appara-
tus travel from high C. to low Il within
ten words. Nature did its best to
make him an object of terror to the
freshmen and he has aided nature
in every way possible.
University Missourian., 1912-04-11
FARMERLEE
RESCUES
DAMSEL

u NtIllUutN II OH pay -
been one OF the last 10 leave the
laundering vessel. threw away what
seemed the last chance for salvation
when he saw Virginia Dare still on
board The steamer, pinned TO the
deck Iv = Blue Ribbon sash which had
caught under on" OF the heavy casks
which composed the deck load of the
Lord baltimore. Sprin@ing from his
SEA. in the lie boat. he rushed to
the side OF The helpless maiden and
broke the seal. But il was too late
the cowardlv sailors had cast off.
''You seeihing mass OF craven
wrcrches." cursed Doctor Farmeriee.
You blackCuarGs But then his at
tcn;ion was demanded by the swoon-
ing of Virginia Dare.
The heavens opened up anew and
the Storm King came down in all his
wrath. The sea was lashed TO fury
and the waves rolled mountain high.
For time Dr. F'armerlee thought
that all was lost. As he attempted
10 pierce the fog, he heard screams
that told him that those in the boats
had perishcd Then he ceased 10
watch the foaming surf breaking
against the vessels side and turned
his attention to Virginia Dare.
The morning after. the fog had
lifted. The forlorn pair glOomily re-
garded each other. with hands clasped
10 aching heads. Farmerlee, goaded
on by hunger and thirst. attempted
10 reach the stewards cabin. His
path was impeded by broken glass
and watersosCed labels. Finally. fol-
lowing the gutter. he reached the ca
bin, and found some Cooks life pre-
servers. With one in each hand he
unsteadily traced his steps along the
lurching deck. greatly to the Maiden
Delight. These bouyed them up. and
TRANSPORTED them to Sherry Island.
Their spirits ran high, especially
University Missourian., 1912-04-11

I've got a good one I'll spring on
Them" said the boarder who wants
TO be an end man. I'll begin with
The evening wore away and the
middle man will interrupt me and
say One moment, Mr.. Bones. What
did the evening wear away" And I'll
come back at him and say, 1t wore
the close OF day"
University Missourian., 1912-04-11
THIRTEENTH
ATTEMPT IS
SUCCESSFUL
Found Hanging In
Her Gorgeous
Drawing Room
PLANS MHCARRIED
Roacheport Society Chicken Had
Copyright on Her Methods

BY Associated Cleanery and Pressery.
Roachport. Mo-. April l0.-Caimly
suspended by the neck with a string
of healthy frankfurters attached to
the chandelier of the beautiful draw
ing room of her gorgeous mansion.
Suicide Lena, the prominent society
chicken OF RoachpOrt, today made
good on the thirteenth attempt TO
sever her connections with this world.
Twelve times she managed to break
in on the society page of local papers
with a three column picture, but the
thirteenth bid for feature in the
gush column exceeding her brightest
expectations.
The seventeenth frankfurter failed
to disconnect when Lena swung light
ly off the mahogany chair to the
floor
Instead of bounding lightly to the
floor and tripping off to the DeTouch-
emup studio to have her portrait made
her trilbies swung in the air and she
kicked her last kick in this ignOminous
and somewhat embarrassing position.
Little did Lena reck that the seven
teenth link would not part as she had
calculated and thereby make possible
the three column half-tone in the
local society journals.
Heretofore Suicide Lena has always
pulled off the mortal coll stuff only
after she had made complete in
spection and fully assured herself that
her suicide would be only an at
tempt.
Twelve times has she accomplished
this stunt and has made her rivals
in Rcachport green with envy. She
has had :. copyright on the stunt. and
no Other society woman dared to copy
her press agent scheme. The Roach
port papers came out with not only
IA three column half-rone, but Il four
column one. with a twO-cOlumn de-
scription OF her going away dress.
she has used number Of devices
in committing her attempted demises.
Probably her most popular one was
trying 10 set fire TO herself by holding:
q powerful sun glass over her cOiffeur.
But she WAS always careful to hold
it over a specially prepared rat made
in Paris out OF asbestos and soaked
with gasoline 1t made a wonderful
and realistic appearance of burning
ones bean, and to all intents and
purposes it appeared to the innocent
bystander as if she were calmly, stoi-
cally and heroically slowly burning
, herself 10 death by degrees.
Policemen unfortunately put out the
blaze and the society reporter did
the rest. At the time, she had on
her white chiffon shirred princess with
the family jewels interspersed in the
vicinity of her person. She had a
genuine Asparagus portrait printed
with history of her previous suicidal
lattempts. 1t might be stated that she
| was none the worse for her escapades
and beyond a few stray rats in the
aforesaid asbestos creation. her Golf
| fure was not damaged.
University Missourian., 1912-04-11
VEST POCKET ESSAYS
By GEORGE STITCH

The registrar has an office in Aca-
demic Hall about 81 by pa feet in
size. 1t is presided over by Irwin
FitZler, who is the Registrar with a
big H. F'itzler is about ;, feet 6
inches tall and weighs about 1874
pounds. He's apt to inform you that
he is especially desirOus of having you
quickly remove the beautiful piece of
furniture which adorns Your noble
Uranium if you forget your bringing
up. When YOU contemplate entering
his sanctum for any purpose whatsO-
ever it would be well for you TO re-
move your head covering in advance,
for when he gives you the gentle hint
20 do so ii causes your hair to stand
on end and you feel slightly uncom-
Portable in other ways.
Ii You receive only F's and is on
your student card when you think you
deserved SIS and Es. don't blame
the Registrar, he really isn't respon-
sible.
TIE BAND.
The University band is composed
of iJ pieces of humanity who play
upon musical instruments in such
a way as TO arouse great enthusiasm
on the part of those who hear the mu-
sic, especially if it is at football
game or mass meeting. The band
never receives all the credit that is
due it. 1t has been for a long time
the chief means or arousing enthus-
iasm. but this position has now been
usurped by FitZ VOLTS, SudsOn jan
derson and Ceecy Biars. since the band
has been forbidden to play Cheer.
Cheer. the Gangs All Here" The
students demand something devilish.
The ~ members of the band are of
all shapes and sizes. from David r.
Francis on down. The one thing they
University Missourian., 1912-04-11

The University COOPERATIVE Store
is the students store. 1t is run solely
in their interests. If you don't believe
it. look at its signs on the bulletin
boards.
Ii is located in slightly sunken
room in Academic Hall and is con-
trolled by J. S Maddocks. l.. NJ. Fedoe,
G. VI. JaXon and others. 1t is called
cooperative because it cO-Operates
with the Missouri store in keeping
down the price of books. The two
stores agreed to form Il monopoly in
the book business. II is beneficial
TO the students 10 have a monopoly,
you know. Ii was co-Operated with
the Missouri store so we'll that stu
dents are now able 10 buy books at
only Sl.5o that formerly cost them
S!.25. Similar reductions have been
made on most OF the books used in
the University. The store sells books,
drawing instruments and students
supplies of different kinds. 1t was
formerly managed by Z, Elmer
Carrie. who resigned because he was
unable to make big enough reductions
in the price of books. such as have
been made by J. s. Maddocks.
THE REGISTRAR
The Registrar is q sort of adjunct
TO the University. He is a necessary
evil. as no one seems to know how
TO get rid of him. He gets his name
from the fact that he registers the
names of all the students and the
grades they make. If you receive rs
in 10; or more of your work he will
very kindly take your name from the
register and permit you to have a
holiday until another semester has
passed. when YOU may return to TINS
noble institution of learning if you
care to do so.
University Missourian., 1912-04-11
SPECIAL DINNER
At DINING CLUB.

The University Dining Club served
a special dinner to its members yes
terGay. The tables were appropriate
" decorated with coffee spots.
The menu in part follows:
cow-juice sky-juice
seed
punk sand
oily spuds
slick
University Missourian., 1912-04-11
Atwood AmOnS
the Plutocrats

By Consolidated Press.
New York, April IL. RumOr on
Wall Street today has it that a new
and rich vein of copper has been dis
covered On the lands of the Awfulfake-
Takemein Copper Company near
Whooperup Arizona. AS result
stock in the company rose ii points
on the Street today
If the news is true it will mean for
tunes to those who invested in the
company, including J. Nierpoint Por-
gan, Charles A. Atwood and other
noted financiers.
What did You give up for Lent?
Everything | was on a sea voyage.
Landlady: Miss. Where were you
last night?
Miss: Why, told when you let
me in where l was.
Landlady: I've forgotten what you
told me-
Miss: My goodness, so have 1.
If Parsons Charters a Carr to Nc
Balm, what Price will he have to
pay?
University Missourian., 1912-04-11

What did You give up for Lent?
Everything. | was on a sea voyage
Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-09-27
Life,

Those with house furnishing prob
lens will be delighted with the DC
tober issue of Suburban Life Maya
zine-an inside the house number.
Profusely illustrated, the leading ar
ticle "Leaded and Stained Glass in
the Home tells how this attractive
mode of decoration is possible even
in the moderate priced home. Those
who have wondered what heating
system to install should read Heat
ing the Country House Properly" by
Joseph f. Ginity, in which he tells
the advantages and disadvantages OF
the three systems. What may be ac-
complished with a little time and a
paint brush in the subject of Garrett
Winslow's article on Practical Dec
Grafton for the Home Interior" In
it, he gives some common sug-
gestions and tells how to go about
being your own decorator. How to
Choose Light Fixtures" and ''The Re-
turn of the Painted Mantel"'will IN
terest the house builder. How one
may utilize a space often wasted, is
shown in Fixing Up the Attic" by
Mary w. Mount which is illustrated
by picture of results which have been
actually accomplished. Besides these
house articles there are the following
of general interest: 1.-The Country
Woman and the Electric Car"
"Tramping in the New York City
District" 1.-The Problem of New
Thought" alfalfa for the Country
Place." Look Out for the Tree
Borer.' 1.-THE Human Pedigree OF
Flowers and Trees" and How We
Built a Small Greenhouse"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-09-27
quarters at Jersey City. This is a
worthy cause and the appeal should
not be made in vain.
Y. NJ. G. A. ENTHUSIASM.

The enthusiasm shown at the con-
cert and reception in the auditorium
last night when the public became
acquainted with the new secretary
of the Y. M. C. A., S. M. Lipscomb,
bespeaks success for that newly
formed organization. Mr.. Lipscomb
made as favorable an impression on
the public in general as he has upon
the board of directors of the Y. NJ. c.
A. and the limited number of men of
the city with whom he has come in
contact during his brief stay here.
The Y. M. C. A. is worthy OF
hearty support and is bound to be-
come one of the most important in
situations in this city. AS told in
our news columns yesterday, plans
are already been made by the police
department for exercises and drill in
the associations gymnasium. This
plan has been carried out very sue
cessfully in Plainield and we be-
lieve that our local department can
be greatly benefited along similar
lines. This is only n of the few
things that the Y. M. c. A. can do
for the city.
By everybody standing together
and working for its success, Perth
Amboy will within a very short time
have a Y. M. c.. A. OF which it can
be proud.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-09-27
WILSON CAMPAIGN FUND.

The appeal made by the Demo-
cratic finance committee to the rank
and file of the voters for contribu-
lions to the Woodrow Wilson cam
paign fund. is worthy Of considera-
ton. 1t is seldom that the voters
have been called upon to finance
such an undertaking of this kind
and we believe that the present move
in behalf of the Wilson sampaign
organization is without precedent.
Heretofore campaign funds have
been raised largely by contributions
from very rich men, corporations
and office holders. Every man hold
ing a political job used to be ex-
pected to give a certain percentage
to assist his party in carrying the
election. Reform laws have been en-
acted, however, at the demands of
the people, eliminating all these
things. To have a president elected
who is absolutely free from obliga-
tons to the money powers is
thing really worth While.
But when the people demand such
a president they must realize that
money for the campaign expenses
must come from somewhere and if
they object to the corporations and
rich men putting it up, they must be
willing to do it themselves.
By every mai interested in the
success of Woodrow Wilson, contri-
buting from twenty-five cents to a
dollar, one of the greatest campaign
funds that has ever been raised could
be established and a great work
could be done toward electing a
man who has stood for the peoples
right against all odds.
In this city, both the First Nation
al bank and the Perth Amboy Trust
Company have consented to receive
contributions, to be forwarded to
the respective national headquarters
as instructed by the donor. Be-
sides this, those desiring to contri-
butte toward the Wilson fund can
their none to Thomas j..
Scully, chairman Of the finance COM
mittee of New Jersey, with head
Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-09-27
PERTH AMBOY
Population 32,131.
g3 miles from New YORK

Population 32,13l.
90 miles from New YORK
az staten island Sound, at the
uoutb of the Raritau river ana d.
he head of Raritan Bay.
ocean steamers can dock III Aio
35 to 40 feet of water. low water,
leading up the bay from SANDY
Daily steamer service to New
York. z..1vania
Central railroad of New JerseF;
Jehigh Valley and the Staten islaHo
rand Transit Branches running IN
all directions, affordlng almost an
unlimited number of eXcellehI Aao
vi Has two telegraph and w tele-
phone companies. os
Electric light and gas companies
Two daily newspapers;
Federal postoffice building.
Nine grammar schools and one
high school, which is on Tue up
! proved list of all the leaolhg UNI
yersities in the country. four paro-
chial schools and a business COL
lege.
City Hospital.
Municipal water works.
Prominent center for trolleys TO
all parts or the Siate.
Richest clay deposits in the coun-
try in the Immediate vicinity.
Splendid theatrical advantages.
Some of the leading Industries are
American smelling heIlnlng
Company's smelter; Farltan Copper
Works smelter; Barber Asphalt
Works, United Lead Works: united
States Cartridge CO.; Architectural
TILE & Faience Co.; G. Pardee steel
and Tile Works; Atlantic Terra Cot
ia Co; Federal Terra Gotta Co.; New
Jersey Terra Gotta Co.; three plants
of the National F~ireproofing COM
nanv and other similar industries
within the immediate VICINITY Tose GH1o
Works; Marcy Stove Works; two
drydock companies, together with
shioyards and marine railways;
Standard Underground. Gable Com
pany; Roessler & Hasslacher Chem
ical Works; emery mills, coke ana
cigar factories; cement stone WORKS:
coal shipping piers; handkerchief
factory; cement works;
shops and iron foundries.
For further particulars address:
George ST. Audrassy, secretary of
the Board, of Trade.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-09-27
TALK PERTH AMBOY.

This is a good time of year to be-
gin talking Perth Amboy. You have
lust returned from your summer
vacation during which you probably
visited many places. You know how
glad you were to get back to Perth
Amboy once more. 1t is one of the
most hustling cities to be found and
we are all proud of it.
There are a great many new
things about which to talk when
booming Perth Amboy to your out
side friends. OF course we have our
faults, but what city hasn't? If we
should all dwell only on II bad
Qualities all the time what would
become Of us? The case would be
hopeless if we had nothing good to
talk about, but we have. 1t is easy
to talk Perth Amboy to everyone if
you only want to.
Remember, the city is just what
YOU make it. 1t cannot rise bow
the people who live in it. If there
are any defects try to remedy them
and in the meantime look upon the
good points and talk Perth Amboy
everywhere. 1t will do the city good.
1t will do you good. Talk up.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-09-27
COMING EVENTS.

Sept. 27-Dance of A. B. c. Club
in Washington hall.
Sept. 28-Anniversary ball of
Danish Sisterhood in Washington
hall.
Oct. Harvest supper for Home
for the Aged in Goodwill hall.
Oct. Orally day at First Baptist
church.
Oct. 17-Grape gathering festival
of Liberty Camp, No. 65, w. o. w,
Washington hall.
Oct. 24-Firemen's parade.
Oct. 25.-Ball of Lady Maccabees
in Washington hall.
Oct. 31-Ball, Singing Society
Frem in Washington hall.
Nov. 2S-Dance of Goodwill Camp
No. 81, w. of w, in Dana hall.
Nov. 15-Masquerade ball, Com
panion's Order Foresters of America,
1885,, Washington hall.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-09-27
NEW JERSEY CENTRAL.

TRAINS LEAVE PERTH AMBOY
beth. at 6:as, Til. KIDS. 1855, xs:2s,
$3.50, 9:42, 1906. 11:16 a. M; 1898, 3:1a.
1925. 4:48, sos, 6:29. TAO, STA, s8:26,
e:49, $1,000, SLIGO p. m; Sundays, S:32.
1928 a., m; 1928, 5:25, 1852, 1926. 9:27
Knew York only.
saturday only.
For Philadelphia and Trenton, via
Bound Brook: 6:2S. I'll, 9:42, 1905,
.11:16 a. m. ;12:33, 3:14, sos. 6:29, 8:14,
s:49 p. M; Sundays: s:S2. 9:2S a. m.
1928, b:25, 1852, 1925. 9:27 p. m.
For Long Branch, Asbury Park,
Ocean Grove, etc: $40, sos a. m; 1902,
1928, 1855, 6:34, 9:54. 1881 p. m; Sun
days: 4:23, 9:37 a. m; Asst, 1901. 1851
For Freehold: $40, 1902, 9:o6 a. M:
1902, 2:23, $50. 6:34 p. M; Sundays:
w g. BESLER. V. p. & G.. M.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-09-27
Creps DrsperIes,

The young daughters room may be
made dainty nowadays at a small
cost Among the new drRperies being
shown are those OF new cotton crepe.
The goods can be Numbered frequent
~ and need not BIS ironed; the dra-
peries can always be kept fresh and
clean. The crepe is manufactured
In lovely designs and II almost any
,loaor.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-09-27

According to the Newark Star,
James Smith, Jr., is getting a great
deal of satisfaction out OF the prlm-
airy election. 1t is nice that every
body can be satisfied so easily.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-09-27

Camden opened a permanent curb
market today in an effort to reduce
the cost of living. Perth Amboy IS
several years ahead Of Camden IN
this regard.