The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1912-01-11
The Story of the Engagement
Told by correspondent

ilS SCOl VI O'S Ali5o5SlISlil
Told by correspondent
Kay Westte, Jan. 10th. (1:45 p. nj. }
/ A decisive engagement occurred
at this place early today, in which
the Italians were victorious. The
losses are very heavy on both sides
but foreign residents are safe. 1t is
not known here what the next move
will be.
The Turkish army, accompanied
by large company of eorrespon-
dents, artists, and cinematograph
men, arrived upon the scene OF ac-
ton at exactly 6:55 A. NJ, and all
dispersed to their various positions
to await the coming Of the enemy.
About eight o'clock great COM
motion was heard in the offing, and
climbing 10 the too of the great
Nailkeg pyramid, the writer de-
serted the Italian army rapidly adj
vancing upon our position from the
east. / was not a little surprised
at first to see that their valient,
though somewhat baldheaded Cor
should that be because somewhat
baldheaded?), commander. General
Soapa Tomm, was carrying what
appeared to be large and curiously
constructed piece of heavy artillery;
but as they came closer / perceived
this terrible machine Of destruction
to be in reality only a high chair "
and greatly to my relief. | will adj
nit, though not for long. Turning
my eye to where the Turkish force
had been peacefully puncturing the
hides Of defunct animals in dreamy
anticipation, my blood froze with
horror. II had always been my be-
lief that the Turks were (aside from
the drowning of wife or two now
and then. and the massacre of few
thousands of defenseless Balkin
peasants) quiet and peaceable
people mostly occupied in the car
pet and candy industries. Imag-
inc, then. the terror that clutched
my heart when the Turkish army
Immediately it caught sight Of the
approaching enemy, jumped up and
began furiously TO RUB, SOAP
ON HIS WIIISKERSMM
i While he was engaged in this fe-
rocions and bloodtbirsty occupation
the Italian army came up and
wheeled into position.
She's on!'' called Gen. Winde
Bill, commanding the Turks, but
just as the fray was about to COM
mence, Herr Limberger made the
dismaying discovery that none of
the cinematograph men were in
their positions! Instantly their was
pandemoninm.
WHAT ragged Gen. Soapa Tomm,
yuh expect muh t come way up
here an give you rnbes show of
first class action an not git any
movin' picture ROYALTIES? Say,
whatcher take muh for? Do / look
like a two-bit sport wot's wife takes
in washins t. support muh? Not
yer Uncle Willie! Trot out yer
movin'. picture box er there amt no
show
And the Turkish army rubbed
soap on his (the army's) whiskers,
while Signor Caruso whoa up! +
mean the Italian army stropped
his scimiter and practiced an imita-
ton Of the ferocious expression of
Chief Kegg. Gen. Soapa Tomm had
by this time worked himself into
such a fury at the fast vanishing
prospect of movin' picture royalties
that he began to froth at the eyes.
At which sight one Wes' became SO
panic stricken that he cid very
credible imitation of Fleeing Arabs.
In fact this was one of the most re-
alistlc and (if may SO venture au-
thentic movements throughout the
entire conflict.
Hey! come back here!" yelled
Gen. Winde Bill, waving his baton,
with the loaded end dangerously
near to Mawruss Perlmutter,s aris-
tocratic topknot. / think this was
really to blame, though Mawruss
maintains that he could have done