The Washington herald., 1912-03-29
ONE WAY TO SOLVE
DOMESTIC PROBLEM
How to Handle Mother-in-Law
Question.
Rr nnRoTHY DIX.


Once upon a time there was a man
who wooed and won a beauteous young
creature for his bride, and they set up
housekeeping in a little nat that was a
two by four dream Of bliss. The wife
was an artist, who performed with equal
skill upon the gas range and the piano.
and as she thought hubby world won
der, they lived together in much peace
and happiness.
Unfortunately, however, wifey was pos
sessed of a mother who was hoodoo.
She was a hard featured old female with
q face that would sour milk, and a
tongue with a double action movement
Besides which, she was a reformer who
felt that she had a mission to interfere
with everything that everybody else liked
TO do.
Now, mother-in-law was addicted to
paying her daughter long visits and no
sooner would she appear on the scene
han the household would run up dis
.reEs signals. She would begin by
knocking all Of the mans faults and she
.elt it her duty TO put her daughter
wise to all the sidestepping that her
husband might do IL he got the chance-
1T is clear" she would say, that you
are not taking an attitude OF hrmness
and decision with your husband because
I observe that he has a latch key, and
that when he comes home late you meet
hm with a glad smile instead OF a
club.
DO you not know that wife should
police her husbands habits? If you
have not enough strength of character
10 do II, I shall see that he has no ste
nozrapher who is not cross-eyed and
fat, and I shall give the double cross 10
all Of his old friends, and put stop
on his wasting his dough in little games
He Kicks.
This line OF conversation from mother
in-law greatly grouched the man, and he
put up a kick TO his wife.
when I married you" he said. Il did
not espouse your mother, and while
do nSsNylsh 10 appear inhospitable, 1
am weary of this continuous lecture pre-
Nformance by one who has no legal right
TO boss me. Therefore, tip your mother
off to the fact that she would be just as
welcome back home"
At these words the wife made a dolo-
rous moan, and turning on the weeps
declared that she would never stay under
a roof where her precious mother was
not wanted, and seing that it was case
threw up the sponge and mother-in-law
continued TO make a rough house.
Now the man was a foxy gaZabo, and
going aside. he thus communed with him
self, Seeing that have lost out on my
rights" he said TO himself, 1T Is up TO
me TO put something over on my wife.
land the only way can frame 1t up is 10
NAV the old one up as 2 hot favorite, for
/ am next to the fact that a wife can be
Jealous of anything from a wooden In
dian, up and down"
So he went to his wife and thus ad-
dressed her:
7 see" he said. that you are on, In
what you said about your mother, ana
that I did not appreciate her at first
! now perceive that she is, indeed, an
enchantress. and It grieves me that you
have not inherited more Of her charms.
1t is true that she is not so young and
heauteous as you are, but l opine that a
mature female who understands life Is
really more fascinating than an ignorant
young creature who has only pulchritude
of face.
He Liked Vinegar.
TT is also true that her conversation
IS full Of Taragon vinegar and ginger
hut how insipld 1t makes the talk Of those
ladies who are merely amiable. Thank
heaven, at last, properly valu' the bless
ing that has been vouchsafed me, and
henceforth it's me to enjoy the society
Of this siren as long as l can induce her
to remain in my house"
Thereupon the man began casting bou-
ouets at his mother-in-law. and chasing
after her hot foot with theater tickets,
and rides in his whIzz cart, and when
ever WHEY tried to break In on their duet
he made her feel that she was one too
many.
II was not long before wifey got good
and green with Jealousy, and when she
could bear it no longer she shut up the
apartment and went South for her
health. in order to evict mamma as
permanent resident. Moreover, the next
time that estimable lady came to pay
them visit, il was on strict time limit,
and every time she made a suggestion,
daughter jumped on her with both feet,
and made things so unpleasant that she
did not linger long.
Moral: This fable teaches that there is
a way to solve the mOther-in-law prob
lem IL you only know how.