Evening star., 1912-11-17

Harvey E. Jester. militant press agent,
shows that he knows how to make the
best of a bad bargain. even If he is deal
ing with pair Of alleged Cuban SNUG
glers. Harvey was casting up his numer-
GUS accounts in one of his numerous OF
fees once, and his calculations were in
terrupted by the soft entrance of two
swarthy fellows, who carried large paper
packages:
"Seegars?" one Of them whispered with
the stage effect of a spurred and booted
plotter.
Their story was that they were two
Cuban refugees. political outcasts or
something Of the sort, all worked about
with Hispano-American local color. and
that friends Of theirs had sent them thou
sands of Havana cigars. smuggled into
this country to be sold at marvelouSiy
low figure, because no duty had been
paid. OF course, that little matter of no
duty stirred none Of the patriotic senti-
ments in Harveys chest. He was led to
light one of the smuggled smokes, chosen
carefully by the soft-spoKen refugee 1t
was a grand smoke. Harvey said 1t was
the equal of any thirty -five-cent cigar he
had ever smoked. and he has smoked two
or three Of them, at various times.
The soft-spoken refugee wanted to sell
Harvey several boxes of this thirty-five-
cent brand for 61a cents a piece, but Har-
vey bargained the price down to 8 cents.
The pair Of smugglers took the money
and left hurriedly, and In about an hour
Harvey discovered that the Havana ci-
gars had been made of rope in sail
makerts loft. They were awful They
wouldn't even burn, which was some
thing to their credit. The sOft-spoken
refugees had planted good cigar on
the top of their sample box and had
fooled the wise Jester In that simple
manner.
Now it appears that a week later Jes-
ter had thrown his fake Havanas away.
At this time he was casting up his ac-
counts in another one of his many offices
and the same Cubans entered, with the
same stage effect Of secrecy They did
nized them They spoke their lines with
out a break, handed the victim thirty
five-cent cigar, and Jester Lighted 1t, say
ing 1t was as good as a thirty-1ve center.
Then they came to bargaining. The
refugees asked the same price of 61s
cents.
But Harvey Jester was their match.
He bargained and bargained and bar
gained, and finally bought a box of these
atrocities for 2 cents apiece.
Why did he want them. you ask? fIis
partner had birthday coming. and Jes-
ter wanted to get him something cheap.
* X + \
Christina Swanson is a husky Swede
For years John Jensen doPged her foot
steps, and Christina, wearying Of such
distant and dindent attention, boldly de-
cided to hep her suitor.
"Yon," she said one day, you and
Aye ban lufers now seek year Aye tank
we ban batter get married.
Perhaps" grunted John Jensen.
They were walking and proceeded about
half mile in silence. Then Christina
spoke again.
Why don't you say sometheeng: Yon?.
tones, AYE tank thay ban too blame
much said already"
A handsome man walked into the smok-
ing compartment of a Pullman bound
for the west two days after the election.
Five men were there. discussing politics,
and one particularly active man was
exp aiming his own views.
II am sorry,'' he said that the re-
publicans lost this election. think.
however they lost II from the start.
They made a mistake at the Chicago
convention Now If they had nominated
q man like Hadley of Missouri the result
would have been different. Don't you
think so?'
This latter appeal was addressed to the
handsome stranger who had just entered.
WELL" said the handsome one, 1T
might have been, but I hardly like to
talk about it You see, I happen to be
Hadley myself"
Some gentle wit, signing himself "J.
E. S." sent the following to the business
Office OF The Star a few days before
election:
FOR rent-Fine colonial mansion on