davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-08
RING BEER FOR
PRINTERS SUNDAY
Ring Leaders Also There
and Talked Ring
Politics

Back in the good old days it was
customary to have a basket picnic at
a country cross roads meeting house
for the purpose of cutting the rasp-
berry briars and ragweed that had
Overgrown the burying ground adjoin-
ing the church. The announcement
was always prefixed with a request TO
bring baskets well filled"
A modern adaptation of the ancient
custom was made by the ring" work
ers Sunday, with beer taking the
place of well filled baskets and vote
getting the more worthy object than
trimming up the cemetery FL Paso
typographical union No. $40 met Sun
day afternoon for its usual monthly
meeting The usual business program
was carried out and the meeting ad-
journed
Enter the ring" bunch carrying
presents TO the Greeks otherwise
the printers. The ringsIers were re-
quested to be present after they had
asked that the request be made, J. D.
Ponder acting as chief reQuester He
was as busy as a bird dog Saturday
calling the various members of the
Typo to get them to make the sDon-
taneous and unexpected request for
the ring gangs presence at the Sun
day afternoon session.
Beer has a wonderful vote getting
power, the ring thinks, and beer was
brought along, together with sand
witches. cigars and several hundred
cubic feet of hot air bottled in bond
for the occasion
The old gag of we used to be
printers like YOU was sprung by Judge
Eylar- J. D. Ponder and others of the
invading host, all of which made the
printers wonder why they had quit the
game for the less lucrative one OF
politics. Judge Eylar Joe Nealon.
Billie Bridgers and Judge" Ponder
each made III usual union labor speech
with the frills about the dignity Of
labor and the rights of the working
man to organize, but not stopping to
mention how it happened that the
ring" had been working the city en-
DlOyes longer than union hours and
in violation of the state labor law.
Tom Quigley, chairman of the So
ciaI committee of the union, acted as
postmaster
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-08


! born or not.
Honus-what does Eugene know
about it?
Heine-Not Eugene. Eurenist He
knows more about your parents than
YOU do yourself. All he's cot 10 do ie
to look at your wife and he can ten
right away whether your children are
going to be burglars, politicians or
honest men.
Honus-I see 1 see. Then if En-
genius had seen your parents before
you did, they would have been saved
all the trouble.
Heine-You don't understand. What
the Eugenist says is that parents
should be selected scientifically. Every
thing must be done TO improve the
breed Children should be raised with
the slime care and attention that we
give to bringing up dogs, cows and
horses.
Honus-But how many children
would like TO be brought up like
horse?
Heine-You don't bring 'em up like
a horse.
Heine-YOu pick out parents for the
child so that the offspring will De
stronger and healthier than If the par
ents did their own picking.
Honus-My parents are good enough
for me. 1 wouldn't let no Eugenius or
Hefne-You don't have nothing to
say about it. a Eugenist is a smart
man He has studied the subject for
years. And he knows just what kind
of parents you ought to have. And
what they want is to have the govern
ment let them oversee all marriages so
that nobody can be born unless their
parents are guaranteed.
Honus-You mean they want to have
the right to say whether I'm going to
be born or not?
Heine-EXactly.
Honus-And before we can have a
child We got to get an o. K. from
them?
Heine-Yes
Honus-And I couldn't be a father
to my own children without their per
mission?
Heine-That's the idea And let me
tell you if ever the Eugenists get in
charge it viii be pretty tough for you
Honus-Why for me?
Heine-Because you see they wouldn't
allow the feeble-minded to get mar
ried or have children.
HOnus-But everybody that getS
married is feeble-minded.
Heine-That's very true. But what
they want to do is to make everybody
submit to an examination before they
get married. And If they can't get a
clean bill Of health-no wedding bells
for them.
Misunderstanding to that you'd have
to train to set married just like train
ing for a prize fight
Heine-Ain't one pretty nearly the
same as another
HOnus-No.
Heine-Why not2
HOnus-In a prize fight they don't
let 1t go more than IS rounds, and if
it gets too One-sided and brutal it
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-08
North America.
Tribes of

40 LA r E n c E CHARLOHMDY,
come right in here to mamma
Don't ever let me hear you say
such an awful word as Darn" again,
and never, never, never play with that
Willie Jones He doesn't keep his
hands cleant"
There you are. Take that!
You know all about Clarence Char
lChmdy now. You know about his straw
colored hair, in long ringlets, all about
bis sailor hat tied under his chin with
q robins egg blue satin ribbon. You
know all about his weak little chin and
squirrel teeth and his spindle legs.
going to be tenderly reared By the
time he IS Is years old his mother viii
allow him to so down to the Y. NJ c.
A and sit up as late as half past eight
playing crOkOnOle or reading the Band
Of Hope Herald.
BY the time little Clarence is IS he
viii be wearing glasses and playing
melodies on the either And he viii
be a fullfledged ''mollycoddle.'
Clarence viii then get real sporty
and go to baseball games and when a
man on the home team bunts the
sphere right into the pitchers hands
and is tossed out at first before he has
time to drop his bat, Clarence will
ness gracious, darnitall, why didn't he
run faSter2'
And what fun the follows viii have
with him They viii put glue in his
hat and drop suspicious eggs in his
pockets and drop chocolate creams
down his 3 - inch collar and then
slam him familiarity on the shoulder
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-08

Siggy Cohen? Yes, well, I ehust left
his house, and he's got fight vid MS
wife ofer dere. You see Siggy belongs
to my lodge, and last month ne had it
a party and hired out a actor to make
a theayter. After supper der actor
commenced He picked up from the
table a chicken bone and said, ''VOt
great general does il remind you about
him. Nobody knoWed it. Den he
broke it in half and said General Bona
parte. Huh-huh-ha- I nearly busted
my life OUdt- Cohen laughed too, and
ran home to his wife and shook her and
woke her up, and said I want to show
you a trick. It'll make you laugh a
lot Rachel told him to shut up and go
to sleep, but Siggy existed on doing
der trick So he took a chicken bone
Oudt of his pocket and held it up and
said, Rachel, who is it," She said,
"Vot's matter. you crazy2" Den Siggy
broke der bone in two and said, Ma
pOleon." Rachel hasn't yet made him
forgiven
NiblO-WeH, I feel sorry for Rachel.
But tell me, is it true that you were
chased by a dog yesterday?
Warfield-I should say it is true, and
I nearly had der life frightened OUdt
of me. vas Gaming down der street
and a big dog commenced it to hOIer
at me. I didn't do him holdings at all
NiblO-YOu mean he was barking at
YOU.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-08

Warfield-Yes, yes. and say, belief it,
I was frightened.
NiblO-But don't you know barking
dog never bites2
Warfield-Yes, I know it and you
knsw it, but he don't know il.
NiblO-It was sort of a miracle
that You got safely away then, wasn't
it?
Warfield-NIiracIe Volts a miracle2
Nib1O-You don't know what q
miracle is? Wei, now, supposing you
were sitting at a window and fell out:
then got up and walked away. What
would that be?
Warfield-Huh-gOO luck
Niblo-No. no. Now listen, for the
second time. Suppose you were sitting
by the open window enjoying the cool
breezes, reading a paper, and you
looked out. You leaned too far, lost
your balance, and fell clear down to
the hard pavement below. But instead
Of being dashed to death, you were not
huFt, but stood right I'D and walked
on Now. what do you thing that
would be-
Warfield-L wouldn't do it
NiblO-Oh, now you're not thinking
about the question. Listen. for the
third and last time The situation il
briefly this You are sitting at a win
dow; you fall out; you get up and walk
away, what is it?
Warfield-Thats habit
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-08

person to call on my agent if he has
anything to say, or to write his mes
sage and mail it This is my dinner
hour and l cannot be bothered with
That's one sort of "mollycoddIe."
Ihen there is another sort. There's
really more run in him.
Inc boys pull his curls and watch
him run home and hide behind his
Hamma's apron. They make all sorts
OF fun of him, for there is something
almost irresistible about these molly
coddles" that makes one want to be
continually abusing them. They are a
rather pitiful tribe, but North America
mas all sorts Of tribes and must put up
with them.
Naughty Bill Smithers punches little
Montmorency right slambang in the
eye 1t is fearful Poor little Mont
morency has been abused like this for
several years.
When Bill hit him in the eve he
wasn't expecting it. Bill came up be-
hind him, jumped in front of him and
nit him. 1t was such fun. But some
thlng about the blow and the manner
sort OF made little red spots dance in
front of poor MOntmorency's eyes, and
when he picked himself up he took a
large, round and mudstained cobbIe-
stone with him He knew he was such
a sissy he couldn't throw it straight
SO he just jumped at Bill and mashed
him right in the face.
When the doctors got through with
his nose would never be straight again,
he would have some front teeth in
time, as those he had swallowed were
only his first ones.
And then poor little MonycOddle
Montmorency went home and cut off
his curls and told his mother TO shut
up, and went out looking for some of
BIZ Smithers's pals. But, somehow or
other, every time MOntmorency ap-
peared they had business down an
otner street or around a corner.
After Bill got the bandages off his
face so he could be recognized he came
out doors again and he and Monty"
as everyone called MOntmOrency, be-
came the greatest of chums
A mollycoddle is a very ladyII1e chap,
but beware of him, because he may
grab up a cobblestone almost any time
and smash you with it. or he may elOpe
with your rich sweetheart
There's something about a mOliycOd-
die that fascinates a great many wom-
en-, but most women, to give them due
credit, prefer a poodle,
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-08

is stopped by the police, but in mar
rage no matter how one-sided and
brutal it is, it's got to go to finish.
Helne-Thats got nothing to do
with EuSenics. And let me tell you
they've got the right idea. According
to them, before you can make love to
girl you got to produce a certificate
from doctor showing that you are
sound in wind and in limb, and before
she can make love to you she's got to
show you the same kind of Il certifi-
cate. And if either one of you can't
produce such a certificate you can't get
married.
Honus-Imagine a fellow falling in
love with a girl who can't get a GER
tificate. Instead of sending her billet
dOuX and candy he'd me sending her
prescriptions and pills.
Heine-But think what it would do
for the race.
HOnUS-When a fellows in love what
does he care for the racer
Heine-Thats just the trouble. That's
why the race is producing such bum
stock. If the principles of EuSenicism
were carried out you'd have to prove
that you was fit in every way to i'm
prove the race before she would marry
Honus-That would be an awful
thing.
HOnus-Why?
Honus-How would a fellow feel
when he proposed to girl to have to
go down on his knees and say: Oar
ling, my lungs are good, my liver is
fine, my pulse is q, my circulation IS
great, my temperature (until 1 look at
you) is 80 in the shade, and my diges-
ton is perfect. Be mine" And she
would answer, Sweetheart, I can
never be yours. I love you, but got
the pip"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-08
The MolIycoddles
AmeTean-Joura Examiner Great Rights erved
By Lewis Allen

until the aforesaid chocolate cream is
ruined beyond repair
At the dances all the boys will make
fun Of him because of the exquisite
perfume on the lace handkerchief he
carries in his sleeve, and some
big brute of a fellow Will trip him up
anc-wen, you know how it is your
self? You just cannot help having a
lot Of sport with these namby-pamby
gushy-m Ushy, milk-sOppy "mclIycod-
dies"
And while the rest of you are having
sport at baseball and tennis and foot
ball. or while you are working in Of
ices and shops and getting married
and hustIing around to support a fam
lily, little Clarence Charlohmdy will
still be lettering up and down the main
street OF your village, wearing car
nation in his buttonhole and taking
Bertha N. Slush's books out OF the Ii
brary.
Most of the girls will openly smoker
at MIN, although glad enough to dance
with him. The men he went to school
with will look pityingly at him and
make all sorts of rude remarks in his
hearing to embarrass him.
and about this time pretty Clarence
VIII meet some charming but sorrow
ing widow at a summer resort He Will
read poetry TO her and talk endearing
and cOnsOling words to her and, pres
realizes it, the widows heart has been
caught on the rebound and the mar
rage takes place
Then Clarence brings his bride home
to our village and it turns out that she
was left large bunch of millions by
a man who was not narroWminded
enough to stipulate that she lose it if
she marry again. And Clarence and
his bride begin to build a home there
that looks like a castle, and they have
large assortment of automobiles and
Clarence buys up a lot of real estate
and everyone in town begins to koW-
tow to the Hon Clarence Charlohmdy.
And the men folks who used to throw
mud at Clarence when they were lads
and soak him with eggs when they
we're youths, and make coarse remarks
about him when they were grown up.
begin to worry and wonder, now that
he has bought up all the loose real es-
tate and mortgages, If he will fore
close on them And they begin to bow
to him and smile at him, and when they
call to sort Of get their bearings Clar-
cnce stands in the reception hail, looks
squarely out in their faces and says
TO his butler James, tell that-er-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-08
mrs. DECKER DIES
IN SAN FRANCISCO
One of Foremost Women of
Country-President of
WOmen's Clubs.

San Francisco. Calf, July S.-Mrs.
Sarah PIatt Decker. OF Denver, former
president of the General Federation of
Women's clubs, died here at $40 last
night following an operation for in
festival trouble: Her daughter. Miss
Harriet Platt, of Denver, was present
The operation was performed Friday
and Mrs. Decker rallied Immediately
Until last night her condition waslcon-
sidered hopeful, but after a change for
the worse in the evening, she sank
steadily.
one of Foremost Women in Nation.
Denver, Colo, July S.-The death OF
Mrs. Sarah Plat Decker marks the
passing of one of the foremost women
in the nation. She was widely known
as distinguished club woman, philan-
thrOpist, leader of wOman's suffrage
and tireless worker in many pubic
spirited movements.
1t was due much to her efforts that
the Denver Womens club became one
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-08

of the most useful and widely known
in America, and it was because of her
recognized ability that the National
Federation of Women's clubs elected
her their national president at St.
Louis in 1904.
Native If Vermont.
Mrs. Decker, whose maiden name was
Indoe Falls, VT, her mother being a
descendant of the famous Adams fam
lily Of massachusetts,; her father Ed
win Chase was prominent temper
ance advocate.
The then Sarah Chase received a high
school education and made her advent
into public at HolyOke, Mass, where
she was made one of the members of
a board of trustees for the distribution
Of fnUds left for the deserving poor
At Queens, Long Island, where she
went after her first marriage. Mrs.
Decker was identified with the work
of the orphans home and the child
welfare movement, but on her advent
in Denver. in 1887. and she was known
only in the restricted circles Of her
own social set.
Active in Politics.
Long before the Denver WOmen's club
was organized. in 1894. and she elected
its first president, Mrs. Decker gave
her money and support to the cam
paign for woman's suffrage. In the
first silver campaign of Bryan. Mrs
Decker took an active part. During
the second Bryan campaign she pre-
sided at one of the largest political
mass meetings ever directed in the
United States by a woman.
Mrs Decker became the first woman
member of the Colorado state board
of pardons, and in 1888 was appointed
a member of the Colorado board Of
charities and corrections.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-08

his excessive labors, was forced to re-
turn to England.
such was the situation in 1850, when
SIR Eyre COOte won the decisive vic
tory at WandeWash over the French
general Lally- Between WandeWaSh
and Waterloo there is a vast difference
IN fame, as there was vast difference
IN the numbers engaged and the cele-
brlty of the chief actors; but, despite
this difference, the fact remains that
what Waterloo did for French rule in
Europe Wandewish did for the same
rule in India
In the words of the historian: That
day terminated the long hostilities be-
tween the two rival European powers
and left not a single ensign of the
French nation in any part of India"
There IS, by the way lot of real
human interest in the story of the two
men who commanded the opposing
forces at WandeWaSh-CoOte and Lally.
To begin with, they were both Irish
meH- COOte was born in Limerick and
Lally, though born in France. came of
Irish stock who emigrated TO France
along with the Stuarts. Both men were
democratic in their feelings and man
nerSs honest to the core, quick as light
ming to resent insult and as good haters
OF their enemies as they were lovers of
their friends
And both, again, are admirable IL
Illustrations Of the fickleness of fate
and the Inconsistency of fortune; for,
WhlIe LaIIy, starting out with his dec
orauons and honOrs, fetched up at
the gibbet, judicially murdered by
the people he served to the best Of his
ability Coote, beginning in obscurity,
died full of glory and was given his
everlasting monument in the great
abbey by the Thames.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-08

EINE-That was bowling swell
affair society gave the other day
IL Eonus-Where was that2
Heine-At the Hotel Vander-bilk.
Honus-Was you there?
Heine-I should say not 1t was a
luncheon given by hale a dozen So
ciety women in honor of their pups.
Honus-You mean their husbands?
Heine-No. Their dogs Dog lunch
cons and KiOOdle dinner parties are
quite the thing nowadays. If you amt
invited out 20 sit down and eat with a
dog you amt in snappy society at all
Honus-That's why there are so many
divorces in society
Heine-Why2
HHonUs-Because so many women treat
their nuts better than their husbands
Heine-W ell, 90 you think that it
would be better if a society woman
treated her husband like a dog?
Honus-Sure- When a man marries
a society woman nowadays the dog has
got all the best of it. She calls the
dog pet names, she takes him out auto
mObilIng, she invites him to swell din
ners, she even lets her dog lick her
when he wants to, and you bet she
wouldn't let her husband do that
Heine-t might be a good thing If
he did.
Honus-He amt got chance. She
Heine-You can't blame him for
wanting to take to the club.
Honus-There IS only one way IN
which she allows her husband TO be
on the same footing as a dog.
Heine-And what is that?
Honus-She makes him work like
one.
Heine-Thats where give the min
listers credit They are speaking
against dog dinners.
HOnus-You can't blame them Lots
of our swell ministers like to attend
society dinners themselves and they don't
like TO see them going to the dogs.
How would you feel TO have your ap-
petite all saved UP for an elaborate
dinner and have It called off at the
last minute because the guest Of honor
had the mange2
Heine-Besides such dinner would
have too much Of a curry flavor.
HOnus-That is the least Suppose
you attended a banquet at the St ReclS
less and the party you had to take in
TO dinner had fleas?
Heine-It would be even worse il
you invited your neighbOr to have a
bite of a stew and she took a bite
out of your leg
HOnus-But there's one good thing.
Society women don't give dinners TO
monkeys any more
Heine-They don't have to. They
give dinners to dogs and make mon
keys out of themselves.
HOnus-I tell you one thing, Heine,
If rich people don't stop giving dog
1uncheons and things like that. it's
going to come to a terrible continue
ton.
Heine-There's only way to stop it.
Honus-And how is that?
Heine-DO what the Eugenists say.
HOnus-And what is a EUgenSt2
Heine-Eugenist is a fellow that
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-07-08
The Battle of Wandewash
By REV. THOMAS B. GREGORY.

" He battle of Wandewash, fought
I52 years ago today, has not re-
ceived the place in world his
tory to which it is fairly entitled. Off
hand. not one person in a hundred,
probably not one person in a thOus-
and would be able to say where or
was fought. And yet Wandewash gave
England the proud empireship of In
dia, that wonderland, with its three
hundred millions of people, its magni-
ficent plains, mountains and rivers,
its gems and gold, and all its wealth
of ancient story.
In 1745, just before Give took
charge in the great Oriental peninsu-
Ia, the prospect was blue for England
The French with headquarters at Pom
dicherry, seemed everywhere to have
the advantage which they could not
very well lose Under the leadership
Of Duplex they were winning tri-
umphs on every hand, and the outlook
for the Britisher was fOrlOrn indeed.
Only at Fort ST David, a few miles
south of Pondicherry, where Give
ter, did England have any sort of a
hold upon the soil of India.
But Ckye was a host within him
self, and his heaven born genius soon
began to make itself felt in ways that
were substantial and permanent At
Plassey and Arcat Give put a new face
upon the English situation in India and
the rule of the French was shaken
to its foundations.
That rule was, however, still SUI
preme in the Deccan, as well as in the
region known as the Northern Ci--
cars" and, to make matters worse,
Give, Frustrated by the climate and