davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1912-10-28
FIRE INSURANCE

Might have continued congratulating
himself on economy" if some one
hadn't been careless" and brought
the fire ladies round. Now he
agrees with us that Fire Insurance
Policy, such as we've just written
for him, is any mans best-paying an
nual investment. Can we write
YOURS today?
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1912-10-28
For
en-!

The best night in the year for fun.
The only time when we can hob-nob
with hob-goblins, spooks and pump
kins and remain safe and sane.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-05-07
How they Succeeded.
THE NOVICE.

And Andy Scott?"
Andy? Oh, he married a girl in
the library and has a state job of
some Sort"
And there was Henry Taylor"
Henry? Some folks said he would
never amount to hill Of beans, but
he married a girl in the postoffice and
climbed into Congress last year."
"And there used to be a Sol Da-
Wis"
There is yet. Sol was going to the
dogs when he married subscription
book agent and was appointed Arneri-
can Consul at some place in Canada. "
There is one MORE" said the red
headed man. II used to go to school
with Pete Henderson,
Yes? Well, Pete is the only one
that has turned out lazy. All he's
ever done was to marry a widow
worth $500. 900 and ride around in an
auto"
JOE KERR.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-05-07
They Drank on That.

TWAS travelling through Texas IN
company with an Ensiishman.
said the Colonel. "and tho many
tough mon We met may have sur
prised, but did not dtsmay him. =
dozen tlmos over I thought his plain
speaking would bring on shooting
match, but he always managed to get
out of It and save his honor to boot.
Zone day in . small town We heard
sun-man telling mighty tough
yam. It was full of blood and killing.
and of course he was the hero. lot
1t go for what it was worth, OF course
but the Engiishman didn't. When the
tale had been finished he stepped for
ward aid said:
"'sir, I nave listened to your story.
and It is without the slightest hesita-
ton whatever that I denounce you
as a reprshensible prevaricator and
unworthy CT credence.
IT expected the tough to draw ana
shoot, but he made no move to DO 20.
Thst high-fown language was way
beyond him, and after puzzling over
It fnr !. long minute he took on MS
hat ard bowed to US and said:
WAY, yes, gents-bein' It's my
dine o day to Ticker up I'll take
zig 9Th yo' to show there's no nafo
-0' '' JOE KERR.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-05-07

~ NE night last winter" said the
Boston drummer, when there
~ was three feet of snow on the
ground and more coming, I was the
ONLY guest at a tavern in q Vermont
village. The storm was growing
worse every minute when a man came
in and wanted to use the telephone.
He was new to the instrument and
asked me to talk for him. OF course
I consented, and the first thing to do
was to call up. a preacher seven miles
away. Then he was asked to come
to the village and marry the man.
but we've got regular OLD ollz-
card going he replied.
II told him that mustn't delay the
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-05-07

~ROM some word dropped by the
fat man. the redheaded man in
the street car beside him turned
and said:
"Is it possible that you are from
old Cahoes?"
Eyes, I live there" was the reply.
well, we'll. 1 used to live there
myself when I was a boy. Do you
know Jim Marshall?"
ooh, yes. He married a school
ma'am and goes to the Legislature
every term now"
"And Burt Smith,"
HE married his typewriter and IS
judge now"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-05-07
NOT THAT NIGHT,

marriage.
Suppose I get stuck In a snow
drift when hallway he suggested.
Il replied that a good horse ought
to pull him through.
ASK Caleb what he's ready to
give?' instructed the good man.
Il held a conference with Caleb and
then answered:
He says fifty cents.
81 won't do it,
He'll make it seventy-f1ve If you
hurry.
Its worth more.
He's gone up to eighty.
""Tain't enough. I'd have to stop
all night at the tavern
II held another conference with Ca
leb and then shot the words over the
wire:
HE says 80 cents is his limit.
"'Tell him to make 1t So
He won't do 1t.
"'Then tell Caleb Nanwert to go
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-05-07
- ~

ITO go to where?" was asked of the
drummer.
I'VE shall never know" he replied.
AT that critical moment the wires
went down"
JOE KERR.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-05-07

Most probable"
And it'll be me That hnds herself
with a htgh-priced stock on hand to
unload on q falling market and have
my husband say I'd better stick to the
wash tub and let him do the finan-
ciering. Oh, no, sir. I'll take chances
on a head OF lettuce, but I'm the Mary
Ann that don't make any wild
plunges."
JOE KERR.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-05-07
A SURE TEST.

A SURE TEST.
It's easy to smile when things go
right,
And everything comes your way;
When life glides along in one sweet
song.
And the sun ever brightens your day.
It's easy, I say, to smile just then,
You ne'er lave occasion to frown;
But the fellow worth while,
Is the one who can smile
When his "best girl" turns him down.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-05-07
A CONSERVATIVE.

instead Of a quart"
but you know I'm . conservative
woman. SIR"
How do you meanf"
This is presidential election year.
1T is" .#a.
1.-THE Republican candidate Is going
to promise US cheaper potatoes.
VERY likely"
And the Democrat Will promise
cheaper carrots"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-05-07

<tIE had given the grocer an order
for a quart Of potatoes, head
- Of lettuce and two carrots when
he said:
Madam, lot me tell you something
In your own interest"
"Yes?"
when you buy In small quantities
you have to pay increased prices"
Eyes, know"
IF you bought a peck Of potatoes
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-05-07
Just Be Calm.

~ HE jury in the Beef Trust suit
will not be tried as incompetents.
Mr.. Roosevelt won't hang him
self if beaten.
Taft will weigh no more II re-
elected
Beefsteak won't go over 40 cents
per pound.
The hens are getting down to busi-
ness.
You can now get a piano by paying
ten cents a week.
There has been a reduction on dia-
monds.
You can pawn your overcoat any
time now.
The Tobacco Trust is being good.
Peanuts are going to be plentiful
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1912-05-07

this year.
The baseball season has opened
with a bang.
The peach buds have not been
killed.
Wall street hasn't found sucker
in four weeks.
All the hotels are now furnishing
two towels to a guest.
No one has seen mad ,g this
spring.
Frogs legs are cheaper than ever
before. ...
And there's lots Of other things to
make US calm and happy and enthu-
siastic, and you just take brace on
yourself and come into the gang.
JOE KERR.
The Delta independent., 1912-09-27
DIRECTOR II. +. Newell. HEAD
OF RECLAMATION. is HERE.

Director F. ii. Newell. OF the u.
S. Reclamation service. has arrived
on the Western Slope from Washing
ton ID. c.. and aside from making
general inspection of the reclama-
tion projects. states his intention
of making a thorough investigation
OF the charges of incompetency
made against reclamation officers.
Mr.. Newell is quoted as saying:
THE reclamation service has been
hearing a good deal lately about the
incompetency In the management OF
government projects. and especially
L. that true concerning the Uncom-
pahgre project and we shall make n
thorough and swearing investigation.
The ranchers recently. at a meeting
in Montrose charged that the engin-
GERS were extravigant and did not
treat the farmers properly in the
distribution OF water, that gross in
justices were being practiced upon
the farmers and that the Gunnison
tunnel was shut down for a period
of twenty-four hours, thus depriv-
ing them OF the water. many of
whom had paid for 1t, and / will
The Delta independent., 1912-09-27
kilE COT kSE DINNER
FOR BUNCH OF sSTAGS."

Mrs. George C. wilson diGVnot for
get htat her husband had just pass
ed a birthday. and in order to cele-
brate the occasion appropriately she
invited eleven of Mr.. Wilson's near
friends to appear at the Wilson
home Wednesday evening at $50,
and it is needless to add that all
accepted.
Upon arrival they were shown into
the spacious dining room where
plates were laid for an even doz-
en- and in less than an hour and a
half delightful five-course dinner
was made away with in a manner
quite flattering to Mrs. Wilson S
cooking. After dinner social mat
ters were the order of things and
cigars were passed at frequent inter
walls.
Those present were,as follows:
Herbert Chase, Joe Pregent, Harry
Mathers, w. H. Garvin. ]. E. HILL
man, John J. Travis, l. C. Hall. Jay
]. Gillette. Geo. w. Bruce, DR.. L. A.
Hick. H. w. Chiles and George C.
Wilson.
The Delta independent., 1912-09-27

look into all of these things. ] will
take evidence from all farmers who
have complaints and will sift the en-
tire matter to the core.
Mr.. Newell said the service wished
to get along with the farmers under
the project and desired to give jus
tice to all of them and II would not
permit OF any injustice being done
However" he said. you must re-
member that the officers on tho
ground have to deal with many and
that Il Is well nigh impossible to
satisfy everyone. have great con-
fidence in the officers in charge and
hope that the grievances that nave
been sent to Washington have
been overdrawn-for the benefit of
the service
The Delta independent., 1912-09-27
LUMBING AND HEATING
St0CkhannBrOS&CO.
LOWER CALIFORNIA MESA.

Robert R. McMullin, Sr., return
ed from Telluride last week.
M. j. Lane and family are NOV
ing from the McGraw ranch to their
home in Delta.
Tom Lake returned from Illinois
the first of the week.
L. r. Long is working on the con-
crete foundation for a new resi-
dence.
Mr. and Mrs. Fairchild and child
rem who have been visiting at the
home of Elijah Duvall. returned to
their home near Sterling, Colorado
Monday.
Mrs. Williams suffered a painful
accident Wednesday morning. While
leading a COW she became entangled
in the rope, was thrown to the
ground and sustained severe bruises
about the head.
The Delta independent., 1912-09-27
ADVENTISTS IN CONFERENCE
IN DELTA FOR TEN DAYS

The Western Colorado Conference
of Seventh. Day Adventists is hold
ing it's fourth annual session in Del
ia this year, their encampment hav-
ing been pitched at the corner of
Eighth and Howard streets. The
railroad granted special reduced
rates en- September and 81. AL
so October l and 2, and a number
of delegates and lay members are
already here while many more are
expected next week
The Western Conference is a mem
ber of the Central Union conference
and several of the Central Union
men are or will be in attendance.
such as Pastor A 7. Robinson and
Prof. NJ. B. Van Kirk, vice-pres:d dent
and educational secretary of the
Central Union. respectively; Pastor
C. G. Bellah of Kansas City, and
Pastor j. w. Christian, president of
the Nebraska conference. Dr. II.
A. Green, medical superintendent of
the Boulder sanitarium, is also ex-
pected.
E. A. Curtis, president of the
conference is presiding.
The meeting will last ten days.
The Delta independent., 1912-09-27
r,RAIsEs KING AS AN ORATOR..

PRAISES KING AS AN ORATOR.
Byron w. King, president OF the
Pittsburg School OF Oratory, will
ao.'ver lecture entitled "All the
World is a Stage" at the NJ r..
church Friday. September 27. This
lecture Is to be held under the aus
pices of the Delta public schools. /
sincerely hope that Delta people will
not fail to hear this most remark
able man.
AS an entertainer Mr.. King has no
equal. He is in class by himself. He
carries his audience with him from
the start and there Is not dry
moment during the delivery. Any
one who fails to hear Mr.. King will
miss a rare intellectual treat.
Let me urge all who possibly can
to attend, as Mr.. King Is more than
an ordinary man and Is entitled to
the largest attendance 1t is possible
for Delta to give This lecture is
worth easily five times the price Of
admission charged.
II. c. GETTY.
The Delta independent., 1912-09-27
PRESBYTERIAN NOTES.

The secretary of literature of the
Miss society would call the atten-
ton of all subscribers to the Quar-
tcily News Letter, that the year be-
gins with the November number.
Please bring your subscriptions in at
your earliest convenience.
Tie Woman's Miss society will
hold meeting at the home of Mrs.
l.. i. Angel, Garnet mesa, this aft
erpoon. Mrs. Arterberry leader.
The Junior c. e. will be led by
Grace Cook next Sunday afternoon
at the usual hour, assisted by Mrs.
Knox.
Please remember tho meeting OF
the Ladies' Aid at Mrs. c. f. Blaine's
on Howard street. Tuesday after
noon, Oct /. A good attendance is
desired Business of Importance to
transact.
The Delta independent., 1912-09-27
BYRoN's I1souBaDouRs.

The greatest organization in the
country and regarded as superior to
the Williams Jubilees.
This company will appear at tho
Baptist church Wednesday night.
October End. The seats are limited
to 600 and the doors win open at
1880. Tickets may be obtained at
Cooks Drug store.
The Delta independent., 1912-09-27
ADDITIONAL LOCAL.

Floyd Harding OF the F1rst Nat
ional bank. is home from Collbran
and Paonia, where he spent his va
cation. Aside from getting lost in
the mountains, Floyd says he had
quite an enjoyable time.
The Delta high school has elimi-
mated both football and basketbaP.
Both the faculty and school board
were in favor of Vt, believing that
the interest taken in these sports
by pupils interfered with their
class studies. The expenses. partic-
ularly of the football teams. have
teen heavy. usually beyond the in
come of the entertainments given in
their benefit, and which entertain
ments were in themselves consum-
ers of considerable time and energy.
There were no marriage licenses
issued this week but the license clerk
made an effort to avoid defeat in
this department. A big, broad shoul-
dered young fellow of foreign birth
came into the office one day the
fore part of this week and calle d Tor
a license. The clerk thought only of
marriage permit and began filling
in the blank spaces. The lady's
name was needed for the document
and here is where the young man
took fright. He wanted nothing in
which a woman was concerned, and
told the clerk SO in his broken En-
glish. 1t was a hunting license he
wanted and the other blank bearing
his name, age. etc, was sidetrack-
ed at once.
The Independent is in receipt of
a map of the mountain states COW
cred by the Mountain States Tele-
phone and Telegraph company which
is not only complete but very inter
esting in the fact that it shows a
great number of towns which are
isolated from other means of COM
munication. The telephone has had
wonderful effect in bringing the
people of such a great territory in
to communication with each other.
almost as though they were under
one roof. Separated by great noun
tain ranges many would be cut off
from the world. especially in win
ter time, were it not for the tele-
phone, which. in many cases. has
come to reach even the lonely cabin
of the mountaineer and prospector.
The evening passenger train last
dent near Marshall pass which came
Eear causing the instant death of
track man who had push-car on
a siding. When the passenger train
came up that evening n freight on
the main line had to side track and
the fellow with the push-car thought
to have his labors lessened by al
lowing the freight engine to fur
nish power for him to reach the
distnat end of the siding. Every
thing went well at first. according
to the Delta passengers who saw
the accident. but finally the little
hand affair went off the track and
the track man fell beneath the en-
as soon as the train could be stop
ped and hurried to the Salida hos
pital where a number of serious
wounds could be given attention.
The Delta independent., 1912-09-27
CARD OF THANKS.

We desire to thank our friends
and neighbors for their many acts OF
Kindness during the illness and
death of our dear little boy.
MIR. and MRS. w. A. LAYCOCK.
The Delta independent., 1912-09-27
FOR SALE.

A span of Shetland ponies; a
nice double pony harness and pony
buggy-will sell together or separate.
Also some nice furniture. One ex-
ira large new rug and a 3Iburner
New Perfection oil stove with oven,
.ss good as new. Call at the Bap-
list parsonage.
The Delta independent., 1912-09-27
SWEET CIDER DELIVERED.

The cider mill on Garnet mesa is
now in operation. Sweet cider de-
livered at zoe. per gallon. Coop.
phone TIA. j. G. Neff.
The Delta independent., 1912-09-27
BIRTHS.

To Mr.. and Mrs. Bert Ridley was
born a daughter on Friday, Sep
tember 20, 1912.
To Mr.. and Mrs. H. w. Ooster-
house OF Read, was born a daugh-
ter, on Wednesday September 25.
A son was born to Mr.. and Mrs.
Lee Davis who resides about four
miles south of this city, on Fri
day, September 20, 1912.
Mr.. and Mrs. Alonzo Wooley are
rejoicing over the advent into their
home of a bright little girl, on
September 21, 1912.
The Delta independent., 1912-09-27

The schools of the county are
now nicely under way with bright
prospects for very successful school
year.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-03-01
Sugar Plain Items.

Arthur Hockett's sale was we'll
attended.
G. w. Bowers will have sale
the 23rd of February.
J. DeCamp and family attended
meeting at Centervalley Sunday.
A number from Bethel attended
the quarterly meeting of Friends
held at Fowler, Kan, Feb. 1917
Is. A good meeting is reported
Mrs. L. W. Parker is reported
quick i'll. We hope she will re-
cover soon.
Chas. Bechel is sick with typhoid
fever. He was a little better at
the last report.
A. F. and A. L. Hockett were
in Liberal Saturday on business.
Mrs. Arabelle Bowers is sick
with q cold.
Thelma DeCamp has been nearly
sick with la grippe.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-03-01
4. Burr was a recent visitor

j. H. Burr was a recent visitor
at Plains.
w. E. Burr made a trip to
Plains one day last week.
Pat Jones was a caller of Bern
Patton's Wednesday.
Several young people from here
attended the dance at Jackson's
last Saturday night and did not re-
turn till sunrise, so we suppose
they had a pleasant time.
Beula Mccormick has been
quite i'll since Marvin was taken
sick. Both are improving.
The children and grandchildren
of r. L. Jones gathered at his
home Sunday to celebrate the
birthday of Mrs. Elsie Jones.
Ray Lamberson was Harwo6d
visitor Wednesday.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-03-01
Harwood Items
tsigned)

Last Monday Mrs. Whit Smith
and children started to Kingman,
Kansas, where they will make
their future home. Mr.. Smith is
driving through. Forty people,
including relatives and friends,
gathered at their home here on
Sunday, for farewell dinner and
visit.
Mesdames Burr and Shanlow
were visitors at the johnson home
Feb. 7th.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ratliffe we're
Harwood visitors Wednesday.
On Valentines day the school
gave a short program and enjoyed
a valentine postofice. Harwood
Patton and family we're visitors.
Mrs. Evans seems to be conduct
ing a successful school.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-03-01

city of Liberal for their generous hos
pitality to the visiting teachers and
similarly to the newspapers of the
district that have so kindly assisted
in advertising these meetings and to
the business men of Liberal who have
contributed to the success Of the
meeting.
And be 1t further resolved that we
tender our gratitude to the Liberal
school board and to Mrs. Jennie Ka-
rau for their generosity in providing
places for the meeting Of the Associ-
alton, and to the committee, cOmpos-
ed of Mr. Fulton, Mr., Martin, Mr..
Mann, MIR. Lawrence, Miss Mabel
Glenn, Miss Laura Wood, Mrs. Wick.
ers, Miss Edna Steyesson and Miss
Bertha Lawrence representing the
city and county schools of Seward
county, for the excellent reception
held for the visiting teachers. Fur
ther we express our sincere apprecla-
tion for the delightful music furnish
ed by Pfof. Chas, Laughton. Miss Brl-
erlV, the High School Chorus, Mrs.
c. e. Woods, Miss Freda Harris, Mrs.
+. A. Mccoy, and Hugh Funk and
to Hon. A. G. Parsons, Prof. Math-
ews, Prof. Richie, Prof. Black and to
Miss Lena Wright for the rare treats
which they furnished to the teachers
and friends OF education.
And lastly be it resolved that all
who have contributed to the success
of these meetings by appearance on
the program or in any other capacity
whatsoever, be asked to accept our
gratitude and appreciation for the
same.
tsigne6 Geo. L. Greene
S. W. Black
h. o. RindOm.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-03-01
Obituary

Robert W. Thompson was born
May IL. 1861, in Holt county,
Mo-, and died at his home in Okla
homa of heart trouble last week.
He united with the Baptist church
when II years old. About ten
years ago, he united with the
Christian church here. He was
married to Miss Maggie Richard
son Of Bonham, Texas, seven years
ago this month. To this union two
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-03-01
Resolutions of The P. E. A.
at Liberal, Kansas.

Whereas, the members Of the Pan
handle Educational Association de
string to show their heartfelt appre-
citation to all who have so generously
assisted in making this first meeting
an unqualified success offer the fol-
lowing resolutions:
Be it resolved;
That we extend unanimous vote
Of thanks to our County Superlntend-
ents, John E. Swain, Mrs. Mary f.
Todd and Miss Nettle b. Lynch for
their untiring efforts and excellent
management to which the success OF
the meeting is largely due.
Be it also sesolyed that we express
our gratitude to the people Of the
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-03-01

The Panhandle Educational Associ-
alton convened at Liberal, Friday,
February BIRD and closed Saturday,
February oath. We feel that we have
been helped by this meeting with the
teachers of a sister state, They In
turn say that they cannot speak too
highly of the frienliness and liberal
ity of our beautiful city. Many Of
them have asked that the next meet
ing of the Association be held in Lib
eral. We are glad that we have made
a good impression and we intend to
keep it up. We will say to the Ok
lahoma teachers that it has been a
pleasure to us to have them with us
and those who have entertained have
thanked us for sending such pleasant
guests,
We would like to give the names Of
those attending, but there are almost
ninety names and we do not like to
impose upon the good nature of our
editor.
There were three counties repre-
sented- Texas, Beaver and Seward,
and the County Superintendent Of
each of these counties we're present.
We also had with US Hon. A. c. Par
sons, Oklahoma State High School
Inspector and Hon. e. Mathews, Kan
sas State High School Inspector.
Prof. R. H. Kitchie of Emporia was
with US Saturday and gave US a splen-
did talk on the development of the
English language.