The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-08-07
Brander Matthews in the Century Mas

dZile.
lW/HEN Talleyrand was created
| M Prince of Benevent he present.
his wife to the emperor. Napo-
leon knew that the new empress resem-
bled the heroine of the modern problem
play in that she was
A lady with record
Whose career was rather checkered
so he expressed his hope that her con-
duct in the future would be in accord
with her exalted rank. And Talleyrand
bowed, and responded that Mime. de Tai
lcyrand would undoubtedly pattern her
conduct on that of the empress. He
knew, and he knew that Napoleon knew
that he knew, how much scandal had at
tached to the conduct of Josephine even
after she had married Napoleon.
in ono of the bitter scenes Of alterca-
ton which We're not infrequent between
Napoleon and his indispensable minis
ter, the emperor declared that Talley-
rand probably expected to be chief of the
regency if Napoleon died.
But remember this thu Atened the
kate sovereign, "if 1 fall dangerously i'll,
you will be dead before me-" And Tai
leyrand bowed tremendously and an
swered.
"Sire, did not need this warning to
address to heaven my most ardent wishes
for the conservation of your majestys
health"
On another occasion Talleyrand heard
! a certain general talking contemptuously
of class of persons whom he designated
To1l nd N
the creatures so CURLY dismissed as I'M
worthy of regard. The general gladly ex-
planned that, I'VE soldiers call everybody
Z ekin who is not military" And Talley-
rand accepted the explanation with his
usual suavity. II see,' he said, sit is
just like what we do when we call any
body military who is not civil"
Many of the best of Talleyrands good
things are to be classed as true repartee;
but on occasion he was tempted by his
readiness of wit to puncture pretenders
tackled When a silly young fellow, seat
ed between Nine. de Stael and Nine. Re-
camier, had the folly to insult both wom-
en- by the remark that he was now be-
tween wit and beauty. Talleyrand could
not resist the temptation.
YES" he remarked, land without pos
scssing either
At first glance this may look like an
urprovoked assault and yet it may be
defended really as repartee, since IT
was due to the desire to avenge
thoughtless slur on two women to whom
be was greatly attracted. Indeed, Nine.
de Stael, when she was most intimate
with Talleyrand, was not little jealous
OF Nine Recamier. Once she inquired
of Talleyrand which of them he would
fish out of the water if she and Nine.
Recamier happened to fall in at the same
time And again Talleyrand was equal
to the OCCASION. With his most fiatter-
ing smile he replied;
"Ah, madame you swim so well.
There is a charming subtlety about this
which seems Enthusiastically French
1t is as different as possible from the
STRAIGHTFORWARD, Touchdown blow which
might have been expected from Doctor
Johnson, with his Anglo-Saxon robust
ness of retort. And yet the Anglo-Saxon
can now and again attain to an easy fe-
llcity that a Frenchman might envy.
when the late Maurice Barrymore was
once holding forth with his exuberant
brmor, an intoxicated bystander rudely
interrupted by crying out, You're q
liarv, Barrymore was known to be han
dy man with his fists and the spectators
expected swift blow from the shoulder
1t came only from the lips. Barrymore
| saw the mans condition, and with light
laugh responded.
surely Motif you say so."
We may find an analogy between these
| two masculine repartees and a feminine
rcpartee credited to British suffragette.
puny male extensively thrust himself
! forward and interrupted the woman's
eloquent address with the irrelevant
query:
wouldn't you jolly well like to be a
man?' And the champion of the fair sex
instantly proved its superiority by the
counter question:
wouldn't you?
When Oscar Wilde came to the United
States to lecture on esthetics in his high
w esthetic velvet costume-and inciden-
tally to prepare the public mind for the
proper appreciation of Gilbert and Sulli-
vans patience in which the esthetic
movement was held up to ridicule-he
used to complain that America was very
| uninteresting since it had mo antiqui-
ties and no curiosities." But he ventured
on this disparagement once too often,
for in the course of his travels he uttered
it to an American girl. and she replied
| With the demure depravity of candid in
nocence that this was not quite a fair
reproach, since I'VE shall have the an
tiquities in time. and we are already inn
porting the curiosites.'
Eazlitt-writing. it is true. before the