Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-02-22
Ell .THE.SPUR.
ESF.THE.M9wENT
w By ROY f.. MouLToN.

4 HAENl
MOUIToN.
$780, 900 900 lead pencils are used in this
country every year. Most OF them are
being used this year to figure out who
VIII be h next president.
Siam has three kinds of grapefruit,
so " is just three times as hard to be
country.
when General Bell bade farewell to
.he soldiers going to China it must
nave been a ringing speech.
Philadelphia is going to have a new
convention hall. 1t should be provided
| with cots.
The Gomez boys are thinking some
OF starting another revolution in Mex
leo. No man by that name ever thinks
OF anything else.
An artist is making an Oil painting
OF President Taft. He'll nave to paint
fast or he'll run out of paint before he
gets his job done.
So Ohio is to have IL new constitu-
tlon. Her old one has been terribly run
down since the vote buying scandal.
IT Or. Mary Walker thinks collar but-
tons drive men crazy what does she
think of suspender buttons?
To hear them talk everybody in this
country predicted an o~ld-fashioned win
ter.
Senator Lee. of Detroit, says he sees
victory in 1912. Yes, indeed. but for
whomc
The Kansas employment bureau says
college students make the best farm
hands. 1t may also be said that farm
hands make the best college students.
Now that 1t is rumored that Editor
George Harvey has gone back on Wood
row Wilson. the latter nay view the
situation with some degree Of hope.
L. r. is still chopping down trees on
his Oyster Bay estate. Can it be that
he is getting ready to build a presi-
DENTAL platform?
John ID. Rockefeller now wears a
paper vest to protect him from the cold.
An, another vested interest.
An Indiana woman who is rich has
married Il chauffeur. Only the rich can
afor to marry them.
An eastern paper asks IL poets make
good husbands. Most of them make
better husbands thar they do poets.
Mr.. Beljawskv's comet chose a poor
time to visit the earth. There are too
1t would take n pretty lively NOV
ing picture machine to catch all the
details of that Chinese revolution.
The Whitlock Brand seems to be the
brand thai Toledo likes.
A Connecticut minister has started
Ne9NAAAS AASC III Nv ~ DIT
Weddings. Nothing, however. has been
said o fiatirons and rolling pin
throwing after weddings.
DIR. Pearsons, the philanthropist, has
decided to quit tobacco after using it
for 20 Years. 1t is always wise to stop
q thing like that before it becomes a
habit.
Eddie Young, a California pugilist,
has gone into the ministry. He will
find a shrinkage in the gate receipts.
1t seems as though the Hague peace
conference should do a little confer
ring just about now.
Buffalo Bill has said farewell to the
show business forever until next sea-
son.
SOME LEAP YEAR HINTS.
Girls, be sure and look before you
leap.
Pick out a fat man. They wear bet
ter in the long run, and then, too, they
are easier to land. A fat man is ten
der hearted and simply cannot refuse
an offer of marriage.
Never mind the looks. Don't wait
until you find a Greek God. Grab off
a homely one while the grabbing is
good. The homely ones are the ones
who bring home the pork chops.
If you cannot support the young
nan i'm the n to which he has
been accustomed, be honest and
= o1SlilloI WdIu ABOUT IL ana tell MIN
so. Don't lead him to expect cham
payne when you have only a beer in
come. Never lie to the young nan
about your salary, for when he learns
the truth there is apt to be trouble.
BE sure that your approach is all
that it should be. Everything depends
upon that. When you ask a young
mar to marry you don't go about it as
though you were ordering a ham sand
witch in a one-armed restaurant. Be
pleasant and polite abou it. APP
proach him with tact and let him find
out your true nature after it is too
late for him to back out.
~
THE ENDLESS PROCESSION.
She was a dream, a vision sweet;
think her name was Marguerite.
She stayed with us almost three days
Before she found fault with our ways.
She left, her rath just boiling DER.
When asked to sweep the kitchen
The next one, Bridget was her name,
An old han at the housemaid game.
For two days all was quite serene.
Then came a most distressing scene.
She left US with an angry shrug,
When asked to shake the parlor rug.
Then Pansy came, then fair Lucille.
Then Amy, Daisy and Camille.
Our want ad now runs every day.
1t really is the only way.
Well try them all out while they last
And stick till the parade has passed.
ANOTHER UPRIGHT JUDGE.
The attorney had pleaded earnestly
for the young married woman who had
been arrested for Sneedinp her anfO-