Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-09-07

; gON ACDDCU JOu4oCAA NCdog .
1 wonder if the police "goat"
wears a uniform and carries a club.
Pardon me a moment, I've got to
go out and hold up myself.
=
Perhaps that man found dead in
Lawton place several months ago
with a score or more knife thrusts
in his body did it himself just to
play a joke on the bluecoats. Don't
laugh! Someone may hear you!
4
Have you heard the latest cong
picking Fleas From Fido'? Com
posed by Bill Compton.
Fascinating Study in Psychology.
l am just a little afraid to intro
duce my next subject, and as every
body knows BILL" there can be
none who will marvel at my timid-
ity. The mere mention of Bilps
name makes the hard guys" from
the Woods" look over their shout
ders and step lively; but as | don't
pretend to the distinction OF hard
guy"-I should worry? Besides, l
III dlNdyo IlSuIr anu Willie DILL
is positively there (Which he ad-
mits) still he acknowledges hat at
his best he Is only 81 per cent right.
| think the worst BILL" will do is
to write a letter to our (NOW
SLIGHTLY NERVOUs) Editor-be
not afraid-his vocabulary is by
far too copious for the comprehen-
sion of the Common People!"
ptJIta prnn+ ,;,4,o IL, A4I4ntu
Bills Modesty, however. becomes
him, inasmuch as what he has done
Is as nothing to what he intends do
Ing. Such always Is the Great! Bill
Is great because he Is all of three
things-a HAS WAS; an IS-NOW;
and a NOT-YET-BUT-SOON. He
WAS a great athlete; edo we not re-
call the good old baseball days when
the Raritans were a team of fame;
not to mention a basketball team
the owls" by name) he IS-NOW
an elastic" poet (Jeer not-O you
of little faith!) but here is the rub:
What will he BE? l admit wonder
ful-yea, marvellous foresight, but
it Is hard for even a mar Of my ca
liabilities to say whether at some
future date he will be preaching vo-
~ciferously on the street corners call
ing sinners to repentance. However,
there may be hope. BILL" Is al
ways looking for the opportunity,
and has been devouring with all the
intensity of a brilliant mind the
sayings of "Spodinis," and l under
stand has taken exception to a
statement therein concerning a mu-
tual friend who a few days ago was
crowned King of the ladies. Bill,
however, claims to be the chap who
put the holes in the peekaboo waists
and feels he should be given q
chance. He is ambitious at this time
to be "IT' with the ladies'. and we,
must admit he has all the q~uaiaaca-
lions to make him a serious rival to
our friend Bull" l have an idea!
This l will present to you. as I don't
believe In keeping them in strange
places! / would suggest hat "Bill"
and Frank form a partnership
Just think what this would mean to
of Perth. THUS: Wanted-Young
men to take lessons from Masters In
the art of How to Make Love"
Call on bill and Frank" Artists.
And when they call they find this
ShPliOh Ofol LhC uoOA oLuulo VI
Bill and Frank-Walk In"
It's a great vocation, Bill!
SPODINIS.
Ye Gods! Another Poem!
William Seiboth, of North Amboy,
and a prominent member OF the Oak
Field Club, has composed a poem IN
the Saengerfest of the New Jersey
Co ,pnrb,r hold IL +bis oItr Inn
day and Monday. You will find 1t,
interesting, / hope. Don't forget tor
wash 1t down with a little grape>
juice after you have waded through
the verses and become intoxicated
it slowly!
Germans at the Saengerfest.
The Germans arrived in Amboy to
have a good time,
And they got at it and drank all the
beer and wine,
They all enjoyed it much, but did
not like the rain,
Because they are still drying their
suits and waiting in vain.
Sunday afternoon, when it came to
sing for the Prize,
They stepped up to the stage, looked
at the crowd and got wise.
Every society sang their best and
fought every inch,
But they could not all get a prize
that was a cinch.
Sunday night they went to sleep in
Massopust's Hall,
And they tore everything down ex-
cept the wall.
One man went in the yard to look
for his coat,
ooh my Colt, was do l see, es is Elm
goat"
They took him inside and he made
some funny jumps
All around the hall, and he got his
bumps.
Then they dressed the goat, and up
the street they went, 81,
The boss running behind them Just
as II they owed him rent.
Billy took his goat home to bed.
And | believe 1t is up there yet.
One man was nailed to the floor
while asleep,
When he woke up he felt a draft.
and he laid all IN a heap.