The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1912-03-29
Old Maid and
Preacher
By
ELMER LEWIS
ELMER E

On a certain date several things
happened. Sarah Ann reached the
age Of 81. The news spread over
the village that a new preacher was
coming to take the place Of an old
one who was to be retired, and the
new incumbent was a young man
and single. On this same day one Of
the church deacons had a talk with
Hiram Jones, and at the supper
table that evening, after having been
quiet for a quarter of an hour, Hi
ram handed his cup across for a Sec
ond helping Of tea and quietly OBJ
served:
"Sarah, I hope you won't make a
fool of yourself over this new preach
en-"
"What on earth do you mean?"
she exclaimed as she looked at him
in the greatest establishment.
Don't run after him"
Sarah filled the cup and handed
it back, and after Hiram had stirred
in the sugar and milk, she leaned
her elbow on the table and said:
81 want to know just what you
mean, sir. / run after a preacher or
any other mani, Sarah Ann Jones !
Have you had a sunstroke, Hiram?
Hundreds and thousands of men
have run after me, as you well know,
bat when have you ever known me to
run after a man? Speak, sir! Your
words are an insult to me'
"Well, don't run after him." brief
ly but grimly replied the brother.
His attitude was something new,
and Sarah didn't know exactly what
to think. After a moment she began
to cry. No effect on Hiram. In the
midst of her tears he buttered anoth-
er slice of bread. Then she dashed
aside her tears and said that She
would see the new preacher hanged
before she would even be introduced
to him. Hiram fnisbGd b;s broad
and showed back from the table.
Then Sarah resoE5ed to the dodge
that had neyE- failed her. She ut
tered a s1Tawk and a gasp and fell
out Of Yer chair to the floor. She
struck ion her shoulder, as she had
pla1Eed to do, and then turned over,
Toi2ed up her eyes and was a goner.
Hiram got up and walked out doors.
He had hens and a hog to feed and a
fate to mend, and he was a full hour
<about it.
Sarah lay where she fell for if-
teen minutes. She was astonished
beyond measure at the actions of her
brother. 1t was his business to sup
pose her struggling in the agonies of
death, but she heard the blows of
the hammer at the gate. She arose
and looked out of the window. The
dodge had failed. She began clear
ing off the table, signing one mo-
ment and gritting her teeth the next.
She had finished with the dishes and
was sitting down when Hiram en-
tered. For ten minutes neither
spoke. Then she said:
"Hiram Jones, somebody's been
talking about me-"
"Um"
Somebody's been saying that
will run after and try to marry the
new preacher that's coming"
"You probably will"
eyes, l probably wilt Yes,
know / will Hiram Jones, III
spite these people if l die for it'll"
Hiram didn't Um" this time
He pulled off his boots, CREASED {
s~tone-bruise with mutton tallow ant
then went to bed.
a week later the new preacher ar
rived. He naturally made inquire
regarding his flock, and he was sool
posted. There was a big turnout a
his first service, and Sarah AM
Jones was there in a front pew
She was among those who remaine'
to shake hands and introduce herself
and she hattered herself that sh
had made an impression. Sh
reached home in great good nature
and while eating the ! o'clock din
ner she so far forgot herself as +
eiggle. When she looked up it wa