The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1912-04-17

was the type of English globe-trotter
that makes himself as unpopular
among foreigners as he is among his
own people. He is almost as unen-
durable as the Americans abroad who
twang their banjo brag through Eu.
rope, and berate France and Italy for
their innocence of buckwheat cakes.
The two porters regarded Mr.. Har-
old Wedgewood with dread, as he
bore down on them. He was almost
lost in the plethora of his own lug
gage. He asked for the San Fran
cisco sleeper, and the Portland porter
had to turn away to smother his CUR
Cling relief.
Ellsworth Jefferson's heart sank.
He made feeble effort at self-pro-
lection. The Pullman conductor not
being present at the moment, he in
CURED:
"Have you got yo' ticketT"
"Of cawse."
could l see it?"
"Of cawse not. Too much trouble
to fish it out"
The porter was fading. do you
remember yo' numba?'
"Of cawse. Take these" He began
to pile things on the porter like a
mountain unloading an avalanche.
The porter stumbled as he clambered
up the steps, and squeezed through
the strait path of the corridor into
the slender aisle. He turned again
and again to question the invader,
but he was motioned and hunted
down the car, till he was halted with
a This will do
The Englishman selected section
three for his own. The porter VEN
tured: "Are you sho' this is yo' num-
ba?"
"Of cawse I'm shaw. How dare you
question my"
Il wasn't questionin' you, boss, 1
was just astin' you"
He resigned himself to the despot,
and began to transfer his burdens to
the seat. But he did nothing to the
satisfaction of the Englishman. Every
thing must be placed otherwise; the
here, the portmanteau there,
the Gladstone there, the golfsticks
there, the greatcoat there, the rain
coat there. The porter was pulling
like donkey-engine, and mutiny was
in his heart His last COM
mission was the hanging up of the
bowler hat.
a CT ho xNf
reach the high hook From here he
paused to glare down with an attempt
at irony.
rs they anything else?"
mo. You may get down."
The magnificent patronage of this
wilted the porter completely. He re-
turned to the lower level, and shut
led along the aisle in a trance. He
was quickly recalled by sharp:
"Pawtah!"
"Yassahi"
What time does this bally train
start?"
"Ten-thutty, sab"
"But it's only ten now"
"Yassah. It'll be ten-thutty a lit
lie later"
do you mean to tell me that I've |
got to sit hyah for half an hour-just |
The porter essayed another bit OF
IRONY:
WELL" he drawled, II might tell
he conducta you're ready. And meb-
De he'd start the train. But the time
able says ten-thutty"
He watched the effect of his satire.
'ut it fell back unheeded from the
granite dome of the Englishman,
whose only comment was:
"Oh, never mind. I'll wait"
The porter cast his eyes up in de-
pair, and turned away. once more to
,e recalled.
"Oh, pawtah!"
"Yassah!"
Il think Wen put on my slippahs."
"Will WEI"
you might hand me that large bag.
70, stupid, the othah one. You might
pen 1t. No, it's in the othah one. All,
hats it. You may set it down"
Mr.. Wedgewood brought forth a
oft cap and pair OF red slippers.
he porter made another effort to
scape, his thoughts as black as his
ace. Again the relentless recall
"Oh, pawtah, think Wen unbutton
ny boots"
He was too weak to murmur "Yas-
ah." He simply fell ON one knee
nd got to work.
There was a witness TO his helpless
age-a newcomer. the American
ounterpart OF the Englishman in all
hat makes travel difficult for the fell
NV travellers Ira Lathrop was zeal
us to resent anything short of per
ection, quick and loud of complaint,
pparently impossible TO please.
In everything else he was the OBJ
osite OF the Englishman. He was
urly, middle-aged. rough, careless in
tire, careless OF speech-as uncouth
nd savage as one can well be who Is
lainly man OF means.
II was not enough that a freeborn