Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-03-14

W coilStI ONLY "diHnU1trt TO Tl.yN.
Am Perkins, our popular and con-
genial tonsolial artist. has sent away
for Il new razor and in the meantime
the bong swa and elite of this town
are goin' arouno with waiskers sew
eral inches long. waiting for shavcs.
The cock at the huttcll borrowed his
former razor to open a can OF as
paragus for Il high toned banquet and
broke it in two. Nm, who is quite 4
joker. says in the future he is going
to have Il lot of shaves all done and
wrapped up so he kline and EN- out
to his regular customers on emergen-
cies of this kind.
A milliner's smile is only skin deep.
Hank I'risby is a man of regular
habits. He smokes two packages of
Pride of the Gravel Train every day
and plays funk in the pack room of
the drug store until III O'Clock every
night and then goes home and puts
his clothes to bed and hangs himself
up in the wardrobe.
During the recent cold snap. Anne
Hilliker closed up his general store
and went Over to the depot to keep
warm at the expense of the railrud
company.
Come all We smokers. far and near.
oh come and see what YOU kin hear.
When other smokin' gives YOU pain
Just try pride of the Gravel Train
oh bring your good old Henry Clay
And light her up and puff away.
1T wipes the clouds off from Your brain.
Does old Pride of the Gravel Train
Old ANDY Butts is dead YOU know.
He smoked it ninety wears or so.
He's smokin' Yet With might and
main.
But not .I,ride of the Gravel Train"
! Just save YOUR coupons. They're the
And then. if you live long enough.
You'll get a 10-cent walking game.
So smoke pride of the Gravel Train"
DIPPED FROM THE STREAM.
A Missouri man has been lodged in
Jail for hitting his wife With a pound
of butter. 1t would seem az though
our m%illionaires would find something
better to do.
stalking horse. a baking horse or a
dark horse. AS he is neither a clothes
horse or a saw horse, what kind of a
horse is he?
Now that the first robin has been
vouched for by several more or less
truthful persons, it seems almost time
for the first home grown strawberry.
A Detroit woman is the author of
- children. Even if he must remain
silent on all other subjects. T. r. ought
to be able to say a Few words about
her.
1t is claimed that a perfectly honest
man has been found in Chicago. But
the dispatches do not state that he is
! a resident there.
A bomb has been thrown at Premier
Yuan Shi kai, of China. Blu the Nc
Namara brothers can prove an alibi
this time.
If Mr.. Morgan brings the sphinx
back with him. an appropriate place
10 Dl1f the nSfDama6 1o1y u-n.11 lA
Oyster Bay.
A Wyoming young killed a
coyote with a stone. What a militant
suffraget that girl would make.
Luther Burbank has produced a seed
less lemon. Nc circus should be with
out one of these.
turkeys new laval appropriation
should be called a sinking fund.
WE'VE STOPPED BUYING MEAT.
Us folks amt goin' to buy no meat.
We're going to kill the trust.
Our dad says that the packers ring
We're surely going to bust.
We haven't ct a bit of beef or pork
since Monday norm.
But still we're feelin' fine and we will
laugh the trust to scorn,
Even if Lorimer was once a boot
black 1T was a long time g and a n
not be construed as a reflection upon
the bootblacks OF today.
Theodore Bear lives in Chicago. 1t
would not be difficult to guess who his
favorite candidate for the presidency
| will be.
Mas dug up Sarah Rorer's work that
tells you how to cook
And she amt goin' to miss a single
thing that's in the book,
Providin' that the recipe don't mem
ton any meat
She says shell fix w Vegetables so
they will be a treat.
We had potatoes Monday. cooked in
nineteen different styles
And buckwheat cakes and graham
gems in most attractive piles
OF course dad bought a turkey but
that amt exactly meat,
But he said we must have it fer to
make the meal complete.
He's b~argained for some chickens
from a man who runs a farm;
meat but chicks Won't do no harm.
Pas boycotted the butchers and saws
they won't get his dough.
But he eats sirlOin steaks down town
at noon for lunch we know.
Since we have cut out meat at home.
we're having eggs each day;
They cost u whole lot more than
meat but dad says that's the way
and save our hard earned wealth.
! We've got to have some food like that
II we'd preserve our health.
We've had canned mushrooms once or
I twice. They used to cost too much"
And lobster a la Newburg and canned
pineapple and such.
To knock the food trust in the head
We're having oysters every day. They
used to be a treat.
/ Nyosro ooy1ns nm dool ,ona.