Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11

Ii you are counting on getting any
pin money. marry q man who carries
his change loose in his trousers poe
ket. He nay have very much.
bu what he has o are welcome
to. Beware strong wallets.
RUBY CLAY.
(Ruby Clay finished third in the
third heat of the 2:O9 trot and 1t was
the blow that almost killed father.)
1T is time to say goodby.
Ruby Clay.
And l do 1t with q sigh,
Ruby Clay.
In my a I am immersed.
For you looked good In the first.
In the third you did your worst.
Ruby Clay.
CHORUS.
(Of ticket holders.)
GOodby, Ruby. I must leave you.
Though it break my heart to go.
I a ne'er again believe you.
Since you have deceived me SO.
For you frisked me of my bankroll.
And / walked back home that day
Farewell. Ruby, dear. forever,
Goodby. Ruby Clay.
oh. you nave a pretty face,
Ruby Clay.
%A1lu i HldyOu you SLEOnE 1OE place..
Ruby Clay,
But it wore an angry frown
When o deftly threw me down,
And I'm living on the town,
Ruby Clay.
CHORUS.
Goodby. Ruby dear, forever.
/ can't see you any more.
You were tOuted up as clever.
1 ne'er was stung like that before.
Ruby. tell me what detained you
When You hit the stretch that day?
Pork n beans now for Yours Truly,
Goodby. Ruby Clay.
PUZZLE: WHAT WAS THE
NATTER?
IT don't know what was the mat
ter with my husband this morning.
confided the June bride to her friend.
rs he sick?'
IT am dreadfully afraid SC. He has
had to stay at the office Very late three
or four nights. LAST night he didn't
get home until nearly . o'clock and he
was so exhausted and dizzy that he fell
over the umbrella rack and wakened
the whole household. This morning he
drank over a gallon of water and he
didn't touch a bit of breakfast. He
said the very thought of food offended
him and he looked so haggard and
worn that ! felt sorry for him. I
think he must be working too hard.
THE PROGRESS OF JONES.
Age 1-Bohunkus Jones.
Age 1O-Hunky Jones.
Age 17-(High school graduate). B.
Wellington Jones.
Age ~20-(Football starr. Bo Jones.
wife,. Mr.. Bohunkus Wellington Jones.
Age 30-(Merchant). b. w. Jones.
Age 4O-(United States senator) Hon.
Bohunkus Jones.
Age 60-(Retired statesman), Uncle
Age so-old Man Jones, the village
patriarch.
TIPS TO HOUSE RENTERS.
An modern conveniences." generally
means that the home has a bathtub.
a cold water" sometimes
signifies that 1t is warm in the sum-
mer n cold in the winter.
II you want to nave anything done
to the house, have it done before you
move in.
Running water in every room may
mean that the roof leaks.
Don't expect to find a house that
will suit o in every particular at
h kitchen pump may suffer an oc-
casional attack Of influenza.
When you want $50 worth of repairs
made, ask for $500 worth and then you
will probably get just about what you
want in the first place.
CAUGHT ON THE FLY.
The governor of Oregon is the
youngest governor in TIE country. a
mere boy, in fact, so he may in time
live it down.
There are to be two republics in
China. which will keep the powers just
twice as busy as they have been here
tofore.
1t is now illegal to tip a waiter in
Kentucky. but 1t is probably still legal
to shoot them in that state.
The democratic national delegates
should feel highly complimented. The
Baltimore hotel keepers seem to be pos
sessed of the idea that the delegates
are all millionaires.
A Harvard professor says women
lose their beauty by talkine too much.
That man is simply trying to scare his
wife and pay her a compliment at the
same time.
In Japan they are teaching the
children to write with both hands. It
must be they expect all Of them to be-
come presidential candidates.
Report says Goldfish is very expensive
In Portugal. Some OF our astute can
didates ought to be able to make q
| paramount Issue Of that without losing
ANY votes.
Eighteen million microbes have been
Sound on q 81 bill. When the microbes
infest the. 81. bills they become q real
menace to the general public.
A New York state farmer adverttses:
-.For Sale-A full <blooded Jersey COW
chickens and three stoves" Some cow