The Washington herald., 1912-04-22
STATESMEN, REAL AND NEAR.
By FRED c. KELLY.

As q Q campaign manager didn't have
enough troubles in his regular wakeful
hours, this happened to Representative
William B. Mckinley, chief Of the Taft
cohorts:
1t was 4 a m, and Mckinley was
sleeping sounSly, though dreaming pleas
ant dreams, in which one T. Roosevelt
was standing outside the Republican Ma
tionsl Convention hall selling shoestrings.
The doorbell rang, and Mckinley piled
out Of bed. still half asleep, TO greet
a messenger boy with a telegram marked
collect. Being half asleep. Mckinley
paid the charges before he thought. And
the charges amounted to A4. Oh, don't
thing it's a misprint Mckinley paid the
boy S4+yes. for-ty-four dollars. The
minute he had paid II and opened up the
message he forthwith got all the sleep
out Of his eyes. for II was nothing but
a bunch of advice from a hysterical Re
publican politician with wildly optimistic
notions about the intrinsic value Of his
suggestions. His 81 worth OF advice was
Of as much value to the Taft bureau as
Pomeranian dog or DR.. Lillian Rus
sells health hints. II the fellow had
only sent them by night letter, they
would have reached the campaign man
ayers hands three or four hours later
at a cost OF only Island by that time
Mckinley might have been so wide
awake that he wouldn't have paid even
the SIS Oh, IL was awful! Mckinley Is
as far from being a tghtvad as Doc
Cook was from reaching the north pole,
but S4 for a bug telegram was too much
even for him, and he tossed about, un-
able to sleep a wink the rest OF the
night.
Ordinarily Mckinley wouldn't worry or
fret any more over spending 81 than he
would over taking a second helping of
battercakes He loves TO spend money
so long as he can get action Two or
three years ago he took a bunch OF
friends down to Panama and return. and
nobody but Mckinley was permitted 20
put up even the price OF a cigarette en-
route There were sixteen in the party
when they left Washington, but before
they got through 1t had grown to about
twenty-five, for every time they met up
with a congsnial spirit Mckinley per
suaded said &. :. to come and be one OF
their happy band.
A minute or two after o'clock. on the
evening this happened. a distinguished
looking Russian in plain street attire
might have been seen rushing through
the lobby OF one OF the leading hotels,
with the excited air OF a man eager to
rescue the papers before the old home
stead burns
In a surprisingly short time the Rus
sian again hastened through the lobby,
this time clad in full diplomatic uniform.
He had just broken all American records
for rapid change OF costume-not even
De vaudeville
formers.
While the distinguished looking Rus
sian was evatanguaying into his other
clothes, a group Of gayly garbed men
and women were waiting at the White
House for the start OF the diplomatic
dinner, regularly scheduled for o'clock.
Strong men snapped the lids Of their
watches, and the women showed as
sorted signals OF distress.
At twenty minutes after the appoint
ed hour, as the society editors would
say, the breathless Russian who had
80 recently broken the quick change rec
ords arrived on the scene.
The man was George Bakhmeten, the
Russian Ambassador. never before late
to a dinner In his life. /
When they were classmates in the Uni !
versity Of Missouri 1t was the youthful
dream OF Stephen B. EIkins and Thomas
B. Catron that some day they would be
together in the United States Senate.
Each made good his ambition, but FL |
kins didn't live TO receive his old friend |
Catron when the latter arrived here as
limited States Senator from New Mexico. |
The nearest they ever came to being as
ISOLATED together in public life was when
EIkins was in the Senate and Catron was
in the House as Delegate from New |
Mexico several years ago.
II was through q little trick turned by |
Catron that Elkins was prevented from
dropping out of public life before he
really got started. The two classmates |
had each settled in New Mexico after |
leaving college. and formed a law part |
nership. Then EIkins was elected Dele |
gate to Congress. After serving a term |
here, he decided to drop out Of public |
life for Keeps, and he went OF to Europe |
before he had time to change his mind. |
While Elkins was gone the Republi- |
cans nominated him for another term, |
and his friends began his campaign. all |
without the candidate even knowing that |
he was running. Elkins' father. who |
also lived at Sante Fe. announced at
that juncture that Steve wouldn't accept |
the place in Congress again even IL he |
were elected. The Democrats made |
great capital of that, saying that there |
wasn't much sense In electing a man |
who wouldn't take the Job. and Elkins'
friends feared It was all on.
But Catron thought up little scheme. |
There was no time to get word from |
Eikins. and he wasn't sure that Elkins |
would agree to accept, anyhow. So he
sat down and wrote out q long letter from |
Elkins, dated at Amsterdam, declaring |
for any old thing so long as It Injured