Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-03-31

III
wv ~ It s,.:: :. .:.; ,':::
gintlemen whit to sleep on their din
ners an where there'd be no more Nv
an openin' FIR statesman with a punch
thin at meetin' Nv tn directors Nv the
Home fr Decayed Gintlewomen. In
other countries parlyminthry COVER
mint was carried on In q way to me
likin' In France whin tn riprisinta-
tives Nv that nne people get together
there's always a rite. members whack
each other with parasols. the speaker
rings a bell an Jumps through a win
dow. An tn mex mornin' all tn dep'-
ties havin' stint their dyin' wurruds to
tn newspapers. wrote their wills. made
arrangements with tn undhertaker
FIR fun'ral Nv tn sicond class. an
laid in a supply Nv arnica an sttckin'
plasther. are out on tn bicycle coorse
pokin away at each other with little
soords an horribly mutilatin' tn ris-
bands Nv their doolin' shirts
In Austhree tits tn custom to open
tn proceedin's with a hard right firm
tn leader Nv tn deep centher on tn
jaw iv tn leader Nv tn exthreem left
TIL Eyetalyan solon, as Hogan calls
Thin, puts on a woven steel vest befure
he offers a resolution. while in our
own splindid gatherin' Nv intellechool
joynts down in Pennsylvania avnoo
how often ARE tn grave deliberations
marred an made inthrestin' be . dis
graceful scene whin some pathrite firm
tn sunny southland thries to catch tn
eye Nv the speaker or tn ear iv tn
house with tn stationery provided be a
gin'rous govermint.
Il
Me taionts as a DICTATOR wud be
useful in amy iv these here ASSEMBLIES,
Hinnissy, FIR I'm as good shot as tn
next man with an ink bottle. an I've
so long sarved as an umpire FIR earnest
thruck drivers that I've picked up
knowledge iv parlyminthry language.
But firm what / heerd about tn Eng
lish parlymint 1 figured out that it was
no place FIR me. I'd picked up the
pa-aper and read: 'Balfour gives Askith
tn lie. Premier's savage retort.'
But whin I'd square mesilf away
contintedly FIR an intellechool threat
I'd read that Misther Balfour havin'
been nudged be a colleague. slowly un-
braided his legs, grajooly rose to his
feet, smoothed his hair, curled his
vice rendered almost inaudible be
passion said that much as 1T panied
him to speak at amy time. he was
more panied thin he cud say be havin'
to speak in criticism. If he cud put
IL SO fr lack iv a milder wurrud, Nv
tn right hon'rable gintlemen whose
sarvices in behalf iv tn empire he
wud be tn last TO underestimate. but
ne tME Balfour) felt that tn crisis in
tn affairs iv tn nation was such as
to compel plain an aven brutal frank
ness. little as he relished it, an he
must declare, If it was with his dyin'
breath. that tn hon'rable gintleman
was. he could think Of no other wur-
rud. incorrectly informed cloud op-
position cries iv 'Plucky wurruds be
Gad.' and hoarse govermint murmurs
iv indignation.)
"Afther tn usual recess FIR tea tn
prime ministher leaped to his feet an
with his face convulsed be emotion re-
piled that he was hurt TO tn heart
be tn attack Nv tn right honorable GIN
tleman who. much as he might differ
with him on matthers Nv impeeryal
policy, he 9th prime ministher) re-
garded him 9TH right hon'rable gin
tleman) highly as a man an appreecy-