Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-10-31
e &8 E:4EE XlS{SM137
AW by Roy .Moulton. q

{ k:Moulton q
ing for & raft nf kids, he sort OF loses
his interest in the Fashion Notes for
Mem"
BY wearin' a long now,in' beard,
Uncle Ezra Harkins figgcrs that he has
saved $50 hat he would otherwise
have been Obliged to spend for neck
ties during the las 40 years.
Elmer Jones expects To do the county
fairs with II wheel of fortune this fall.
Last year he leaned up $14 in three
weeks and WAS arrested only five times.
ZERO IN OCCUPATIONS.
keeping IL lighthouse.
carrying water for section hands,
DRIVING x hGATAe.
Reading proof on railroad time
tables.
CLEANING" fish.
Taking care OF IL French poodle.
parachute dropping.
ilaying base drum in Village band.
i:etnE husband of n successful &C
trtss.
MIR. PETTIGREW'S SNAKE.
MIR. Elias P%ettigrew, the eminent
taui':'l naturalist and sn~akcologist has
= pet blacksnake which is tho wonder
on the ~leigiibnrhood. The snake is up
to all sorts Of cute little tricks and Is
about 70 feet long. II it were any
longer no doubt MIR. Pcttigrew would
say SO. Some time ago n culprit en-
tcTeu the otherwise peaceful %farrnyard
of MIR. Pettigrew under the cover OF
kn- and stole the rope OFF the
dinner bell which hangs at the top
OF the long pole near the kitchen door.
rms was very embarrassing inas1nuch
as Mrs. Pcttigrew was no longer able
10 ring the dinner hell and call her
hungry spouse from the west so. The
Intelligent b~lacksnake noticed the
ledy's embarrassment and. climbing
mouth and allowed his body to hang
straight down until his tail almost
touched the ground. Mrs. PettiKrew
grasped the pet snake by the tail and
was thus able to ring the dinner bell.
EveTy moo now the max climbs the
time is something more than two
mute 90 early md never q minute
late.
WHERE?
She's slender as the graceful reed.
n tight skirt vision rare.
But where arc all the petticoats
ma Maggie used to wear?
AlNIl ILL Nl/EI1hS ~ "A Y.
Please send up a hammer and a
soap"
What time does the 2:37 train
leavc?"
DO YOU know a man in this town
by the name of JONES'"
Where cnn ( have my lap dog
m~anicured?"
Cant YOU make tina old gink in tho
next room stop snoring"
l LOST my handbag when / changed
cars down to the junction to come here.
Can't you get it for me?'
- want you to find out for me at
once the quickest way to get to Peavey
Junction, Mass"
II tried to eat in your dining room
n everything was cold but the ice
water. What kind OF a dump are you
running here?"
+ II M H HICK.EYVILLE
CLARION.
Grandpa Bibbins went to church in
the rain last Saturday and is now at
home sufferin' from infiammatory re-
ligion.
Mrs. Hi Higgins has taken in wash
m. by the day or week so long that
Ill has been Dc to save up enough
soap wrappers to get a good double
jointed, bamboo fishin' rod.
Last week we inserted an adv. in
our lost and found columns to the
effect that III galoot who stole an UNI
brella at the meetfn' house lecture the
Clarion office or be prosecuted. Fiji
teen cords of umbrellas have been
throwed n our back yard since that
time. and they are still comm
Hank HuInms Is gettin' to be quite
a successful author. He has had two
VoNntVn 0~~ &c. -
three for Blink 8 Tonic accepted within
a month. Hank avs the road to liter
airy fame is some arduous, but he
poets to remain OIL top as long as folks
to make patent medicine.
Elmer Jones is gettin' quite well
quainted down to the city. He IAN.
call three bartenders by their first
name. He asked a policeman where
the Battery was h other day, and
the policeman told him It was out to
the ball ground.
Hold Peters fell down stairs last
and broke three ribs and
seven commandments.
our midst the other day, sellin' goods.
We haven't heard whether he is q
BASS or drummer. Miss Amy
Pringle. u milliner, says every drum
mer is a delusion and q snare.
Them foreign nob!emen must be a
sOuen AOs. we Scc tudV iii luOICtIIleut
has been issued down to New York
that has got 70 counts in It.
Hank Tumms has bought q thea
snurus on the installment plan from a
and 1t Is going to be de-
next week. Hank IL building q
q $ out In the hack yard to keep It in
and his wife says she supposscs the
dumhcd critter will eat it's head OF.
says 1t 10 a prehistorical animal
and he 10 going to exhibit it Mt the
county fair.