The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-06-24
~ by "ytick" ~ MMSeM

pont ae tn Algel.-Astrenen,ers have recently
made rome ptastliAs discoveries and now tell ue that
among the many werldp heeidea cure. there Ia che
Alarl es aan,e-wh,eh la go much hisse. than Ours
la that the comparison makes the earth appear az a
mere ppeek,
The surface Of eueh a planet exceeds that Of the
earth ten theueand times. The Atlantic ocean stretched
out upon IL t" the sanae relative sise that 1t ID on the
earth. wou,d he more than 400. 900 miles broad. II Il
had surface features exactly preportioned to those OF
the earth. ite lottiest mountains would DO from 400 to
300 mi.es htzh, and its oceans from 900 to 600 miles
doep: \ distance corresponding to that between New
York and Chicago would he ninety thousand milea
LONG, And. Il everything were eonstructcd on the
same sralo, mon would he 600 feet tail, and tho giant
redwoods of California eight or nina miles hiKh!
OF course. tho force OF gravity, or tho weight of
bodies. must also he enormously Increased. II We
suppose the moan density of the giant planet to be the
ZANE as that at tho earth. a body that weighs ono
pound here weighs about u hundred pounds there, and
an Average man, having the same xho that no has on
the earth, would there weigh seven and u hnlf tons.
But II he were 600 feet %tnll-that Ia to say. proper
toned to tho size Of the planet-ho would weigh seven
and n half million tons.
Say Hiram, how would you like to have a little
fairy sweetheart Weighing say five or elk million tons.
and living up In the next block. about II thousand miles.
and when the atmosphere was rather light and baln,y
II would have a pressure Of say about $4,000 pounds
to the square inch? Suppose. too, Hiram, you wished
to kiss her and she was of medium height, say six
hundred feet high. and there were no aeroplanes handy
we'll, you would have to 20 without. Hence. take
our word for IT and never go to Algol.
SHORTEST STORY.
The Nation Builders.
i!icS NAa.Ga dl CdSli plISib olCU1 III iSh eye idlc
in their hearts.
You're a thief
You're a liar!"
You've never drawn a sober breath"
Your father was a thief
Things like YOU ought to be shot at BIRTH"
Your grandfather was a thief"
'Gentlemen.' said the chairman, mildly, Il fear
you are growing personal"
Feeling that there was some truth in what Chair
man Florida water had said. Delegate Senator Spiff-
hetmer and Delegate Congressman Krimpenpoof re-
SDr1a6 tha{r q and cor,a u.orEr,oo IjoCi~o tha wan
deepening reverbrations that the regular business of
Rowling Alley Trunk.-An exchange tells this one
on one of those trunks which have caused the railroad
companies to rule against trunks which are too long
for any use:
The late Will Mcconnell, an advance agent and a
broadway character of much renown. was standing in
the baggage room of a railroad station in company
with Mel Stoltz, another advance agent. They We're
waiting 10 have their trunks checked. Presently a
baggage handler passed. pushing a sample trunk. which.
according to Stoltz, was about nine feet long and about
two feet wide.
For the love Of Mike" calculated Stoltz, what do
You suppose the owner of that trunk sells"
Il don't know said Mcconnell. but from the
shape of that package I'd say bowling alleys"
IN FAMOUS.
For I'm the man who made the smile that won't
come of-Billikin Bill.
For I'm the man who put the brine in Salt creek.
w. J. B.
For I'm the man who put the III in de-li-Ted.-
T. R.