The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1912-02-16
HI f A X ID
BY
X u B E

OUR idea of nothing to do Isl to pick
up the paper and read the list of prizes
to be awarded at a masquerade.
YOU'LL have to admit that it takes
pull If you want to be successful
dentist.
ONE thing that places Col. Tim En-
glehart above the ordinary gentility is
the fact that he has three bathtubs in
his house.
THE good people OF Dyer in their
efforts to cushion seats in the place
where you twang harps and wear wings
have already started to fast for lent.
MAYBE 1t is the menus that they
publish in the newspapers that is re-
sponsibie for the high cost OF living
NO doubt Tom Knots. figures that IL
he became governor 1t wouldn't take
him long to solve the perplexing ques-
ton why South Bend can have prize
fights and Gary can't.
THERE is some talk of having noted
men address banquets in distant cities
by means of the long distance phone
each listener to have a separate receiv-
er near his soup plate. Happy will be
the day when banqueters at Whiting,
Stieglitz Park and HessvilIe can stimuli
taneously listen to an grafton by AL
derman Castleman.
THIS is the open season for tapping
the maple strip trees.
THE RISE OF HAMMOND.
(From THE TIMES.)
TT has taken the city of Hammond
thirty years to develop a leisure class.
Twenty-Five years ago the an
nual masque ball and the butchers
picnic were the principal social events
of the year. Now a. soiree is hardly
noticed unless it is a formal affair How
things have changed.
IN Gary they hardly notice formal
soirees unless the gowns are little ex-
ira "decoileted" at either end.
OUR OWN BAEDEKER,s GUIDE.
THE TOWN OF AETNA-Althoug
Lake county's most potential noisy
town this dynamite making village has
managed TO struggle along for thirty
years with less trouble than street
in Gary. Now and then the mills go on
rampage. but the company Is con-
siderate and pays for all broken dishes
and furniture within a radius of ten
miles. The Inhabitants of the town keep
nothing breakabIe about, and, there
fore, guests are somewhat surprised
because they have to eat off tin plates
and drink out of silver cups No. pic
lures are hung the walls as one
never knows when the patriot moth
er-in-law, or of Aunt Sue is liable to
crash down and swat you on the dome
of thought. The town is strictly tenn
perate as the dynamite workers are too
economical too even import case of
Bud for fear that unlooked-for explo-
sion would break the bottles. Aetna
is also noted for its dog kennels. and
1t is not safe TO pass through the roads
near the town unless you bring a piece
OF summer sausage to give to the
hounds. One time there was a char
ity ball at Aetna given by the Moon
light club and several out of-town
guests who neglected to bring bits OF
meat with them did no dancing and
went home linlping. the result OF bad
bites in the calves of their legs. Other
erwise, there are no wild animals In
| the town. One railroad the famous
Wabash, passes through Aetna and
once, so II is said, two engines. hauling
several car loads of dynamite, collided
| The collision was so slow and gentle
that neither engineer woke up until
three hours later. owing TO the ten
dency of the powder mill company to
discourage any kind OF vibrations. there
are no locks on the doors, which are
noiseless, and all floors are heavily
rubbered This makes 1t easy for the
married men who go up to Gary ito
| go to LODGE they need have no
| fear that their wives will hear them
| coming in at midnight.
| Oracle: Your query about improv-
! ing your complexion received Sug-
gest that you get your cosmetics at a
different department store.