The Progressive West Virginian. [volume] (Williamson, W. Va.) 1911-1913, 1912-04-25

AHOS. p. GAkNEk, Manager,
- -
Winter should have been sent to :
school where suffering is cured. :
Both poles have been discovered /
but most of US prefer to take middle I
course. )
In some parts of Spain there are 200 /
holidays year. This is held to be
excessive a
A year on Mars contains 730 days. '
Just think Of the length of the base e
ball season c
It win readily be observed that
reaching the south pole is no Sunday e
afternoon stroll. e
We may hear next that they have c
decided in China to do something for f
the ultimate consumer. 3
Yale has given up basketball. What b
is to become of our colleges II this a
sort Of thing keeps up?
1t Is all right to tack calling cards
on the south pole, but election posters
should not be pasted there. :
highbrow informs us that wom- .
an Is at her best at the age Of fifty.
Cheer up. sisters; there is hope.
California woman wants divorce :
because her husband Is faultless. 1t I
seems he is faultless to fault !.
Eggs sell for f1ve-cents a dozen in :
China. But for ordinary purposes !.
china eggs are not worth even that.
It is said that Sir Thomas Upton
will get wife IL he wins the cup.
There is no limit to Toms gameness.
"A woman should enjoy No. s
SHOE" says a lady medic This is 2
especially true If the woman has ]
corns.
Norway appears to have been stung
by the discovery bug. A Norwegian c
astronomer says he has discovered c
new star t
A scientist has discovered that wine A
can be made of bananas. II 1t affects b
locomotion the way the skins do. take o
it away b
Il
That coming baby show at Palm
Beach will not be fashionable hotel
function, but the result of local en- f
terprise. n
The south pole has been spotted, |,
but It win prove no more valuable {
than its colleague at the other end
Of the earth.
II the courts are going to decide :
how much girls hat may cost 1t will :
be lucky that women may not serve
on the juries
Chicago will have one of the biggest
aeroplane meets ever held. and 1t has
arranged already to furnish the neces-
sary sky room
A statistician tells us that the per
capita debt of the United States is
1888. Now, II we could only con-
vince our tailor.
Americans complain that they are
not safe in Mexico, but there is no 2
law compelling Americans to live In '
that forsaken country.
About the meanest way man could
die was experienced by an unfortu- t
nate one In the south who was kicked q
to death by dead mule. I
-------4----- :
Considering their familiarity with i
the language shouted by railroad sta
ton announcers and street car con- Z
ductors. 1t seems unreasonable for 8
Americans to object to grand opera in :
French and German. +
Archaeologists claim they have dis. :
how do they account for the jar OF :
water they found there?
Another aviator threatens to fly :
across the Atlantic. but up to date {
no newspaper has bought the exclu. }
sive rights to his story. !
!.
A Pennsylvania farmer has discov- {
cred a coal mine In his cellar. This ,
has been a splendid winter in which
to make such discovery.
Philadelphia swallowed poison.
inhaled gas and cut his throat For a t
resident of that town he seems to
have been in quite a hurry. &
We are informed that plot to de.
throne the king of Siam has been dis.
covered Chowfa Maha Vajiravudh's {
name is not the only burden he has ,
to carry. I
Hiram Maxim informs US that with. I
in a few years armor plate will be
no more effective than cheese. And I
yet we have met some highly effec. i
tive cheese
Nearly all Boston girls are reported
to have bow legs and big feet. But
there NAV be Boston girls whose left