davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-20

iOaN Nt1 1tttioII01OIlS .NtWS.
National conventions nave become so
important II feature of our political sys-
TEN 'hat many persons think they are
ssise.ished by law. This is a mistake.
They are merely popular assemblages, an
outg.owth OF party politics and controlled
10y party usage and rules. They had their
"r!ei in q desire to pOpularixe the meth
cd ~ nominating candidates for president
by taking the function away from the
congressional caucus. where it remained
for many years after the formation of
the and giving 1T to the peO-
pile. The first national convention ever
held was that which nominated Henry
Clay, in 1891.
General son. who was nominated
and elected under the old system, i'm 1928.
Anc waS q candidate for reelection in
ls32. saw tue possibilities OF the convention
system aHd4espou.ed 1t heartily. He was
sur: GENTLY assured OF his own
tion enr y second term. but he wished to
control that OF a vice president who
shoG.d also be his successor. and he
of doing this. His choice for vice p,esi-
dent was Martin Van Buren,. OF New York.
Jackson carried his point and the first
democratic national convention ever as
sent, ed, that OF 1892. nominated him for
a SET ond term aud his choice, Van Ruren,
for vice president. No national conven-
t!ori nj any party was ever more complete
ly al.a willingly under the domination Of
one ...an than was the democratic couven-
ton ~hich met at Baltimore May 81, lx32.
Before ba,i0tins for vice president the
convention, ut Jackson's request. adopted
the ;oilOwsuG:
"Resoived. That each state be entitled,
in he nomination to be made of Il cafdt-
date .nr the vice presidency. I" n number
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-20
Wanted the Cork Back.

A Washington hotel man tells of a
summer resort on he Atlantic coast
which. curiously enough, has near 1t u
glue factory. which. when the wind
happens to blow from that direction,
Is a source of much annoyance to the
s~ojourners.
One evening a Philadelphia woman
had armed herself with a supply OF
lavender salts and took Il seat on tho
veranda near an elderly countryman
VINO was evidently of the
proximity of the aforesaid glue fac
tory.
Whenever the breez veered, the Phil
adelphia would open her smell
ing bottle. The elderly person moved
to the far end OF the veranda, but was
no better off. Finally he returned to
the neighborhood of the Philadelphia
woman and d~eferentially addressed her
thus:
~ beg your pardon. :na'am. but il
You amt takin' hat for your health,
would o mind putin the cork back
until after supper? I'm going home
then"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-20
Second Place.

DIR. Harvey w. Wiley. apropos Of his
resignation. said to Il Washington COR
respondent:
II believe in enforcing the pure food
laws in the interests of the people. Put
the people first-that is my theory.
Don't put the food manufacturer first
and the people second. Don't, in en-
forcing the food laws. give the people
that painful feeling OF second place
which Hilary McMasters experienced.
Hillary McMasters sat In the draw
ing room awaiting his fancee. when
the little daughter of the house en-
tered.
Here said the child. here ia a
candy for you And she gave Hilary
McMasters a hard. white lozcnge.
"'Oh. what a nice white lozenge!'
said the young man.. putting it in his
mouth n beginning to suck vigor-
ously.
Yes, isn't it?' lisped the little girl.
1t was striped wiv pink once"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-20

but several million dollars OF cargo. This
cargo, of course. cannot he recovered at
f below depth .bs s,, n!vers eannot i've that far
pressure Of The water. In the natural
course of events neither ship nor cargo
VIII ever again be seen by the eye or man.
dress the law gives to those who have
lost relatives or merchandise entrusted To
this great ship. "
In 1851. in order to encourage s.,inhu;,d-
ing and having in mind the perils or fha
sea, congress enacted the limited liability
act. applying to shipowners. by Its terms.
as it has been expanded. the owner OF a
ship can by appropriate proceedings in
the federal courts. after a loss at sea.
limit his liability, as to the passengers
and cargo. to the value OF the ship and
a ship is brought into port after an acct
dent at sea, her value. even in a damaged
condition. Is generally more than enough
in case OF the sinking OF the hin win
her passengers and cargo the snip Is with.
out value and no money damages can ha
recovered. except the freight charges
divided up among those entitled to share
therein that they amount to nothing. Most
seafaring nations have a similar law.
case OF the loss OF the French liner la
B~ourgogne. which sank with most of it's
passengers after a collision Will the Brit
ish ship Cro,nartyshire % mile. off Sable
island. on Its voyage from New York to
Havre on July !. 1895. Nothing was saved
except q few lifeioats, and the value OF
constituted the only fund from which
damages could be collected under the linn
tied liability act. The wealthy stea mship
company which owned tho vessel could
not he reached beyond this. Litigation
growing out OF claims against Ia Rour-
xoghe continued for 10 years. and it wa.
not until l"S that Justice White OF tn.
Tinted States supreme court wrntc a t;n,,I
opinion In this matter.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-20
Compietion.

would that June were here
The June OF long ago,
BEFORE so many a wear
Had weighted me with snow.
The June wherein knew
Ihat every path was fair.
beyond the Ways OF rae.
Whose other name il are
I've travelled far, 40 far.
me rose that blooms today
Seems but the haunting , IN
Of roses passed away;
Inc frasranccs they shed
lhese droninx hours but seem
The souls OF roses dead.
The shadows OF a dream
would tina June We're here;
And yet when ii shall ON
With many IA fragrant tear
Ill stand before it. dumb:
Within my hear the. pain
That many a grief has brought.
Upon my sOui tn. stain
OF many a wintry thought.
And yet | would that June
With all its joy were rife;
Again Id ea its tune
OF hubbiing hope and life;
And like those submits white
That melt beneath tho sun.
I'D melt into it's light
And my last journey run;
Yea. singing. run, as flows
The fastening mountain strea,n.
That. passing. tents the rose.
And dreams All ancient dream,
Ere falls 1t in the sea
And ming,es with the whole
Where Jnnes that used to he
Shall bless the wandered soul.
C. G. Hlailden i'm Ghicag go Post
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-20
Horticulture.

From the Woman's National Weekly.
TIE xiadiolos bulbs should he planted
sOoyl.
One Of the most satisfactory plants you
can have liz sweet alyssum.
Bionming plants need more water and
sunshine than before the bloom appears.
Yonnx fuchsta slips. petunias, coieus
and oieande root finely in a Jar OF wa
Ter.
pa.ssy seed should be covered very light
ly and shaded a little from the hot sun
and dryinE Winds.
The double daisy can hardly be exceiled
as a. edginK plant In summer or a pot
plar. In wiNter.
Ds!lias are as easily grown from seeds
as s%unaowers and the seedlings begin to
bloom In midsummer and continue until
frost.
The early spring is the best time to
transplant roses. Pot-grown roses may be
set out at any time during the spring and
early summer.
Ey Sitting you can find the warns
which enter the stalks OF Zinnia and some
other plants. and after they are found
they can he destroyed.
The various peppers are quite desirable
for u summer hedge as the pods assume
variuus shapes and colors and are valu-
able IN cooking and on the table.
The roses which are seriously troubled
with m.ldew should be discarded and re-
placed with healthier ones. although a
mixture OF lime and sulphur applied to the
foliage with a dirty bag is recommended
As a good remedy.
Don't let your flower garden run all to
beds or ali to walks, and vary the shapes
OF both.
The iarksINirs are a very pretty gar
den flower. being rich in color. delicate
and very snowy.
A charming little flower 10 the forget
me-not, being fragrant, graceful and ex-
quisite in color.
The presence of the song birds in the
flower garden should be encoura ged. as
they are great destroyers of insects.
The cozsltess and GOODNESS OF the front
porch is greatly enhanced by a trailing
or ciinglng vine of some sort. There are
many kinds from which to make a Sc
lection.
Verbeuas are desirable for beds and are
easily raised from seeds. The Seeding
plants begin to bloom in a few weeks and
keep up the display until late in the
autumn.
The "African Mignonette'' is a recent
Importation from South Africa. the plant
OF which grows 10 inches high and pro-
duces numerous spikes of curiousIy
formed flowers.
Fresh manure is not the best of fertil-
izer for the garden.
Much aluab Information as we'll as
pleasure can be derived from a study of
the seed catalogs of reliable houses. even
after the flowers have begun to grow.
Save your catalOgs.
A beautiful annual is the nemesla hy-
bria. being both snowy in the garden and
excellent as pot plants. The plants grow
a faot high and bloom very profusely
throughout the season.
? The morning glory still occupies a popl-
lar place as a quick-growing and beautiful
vine for either foliage or flowers. 1t is
call. grown and very ornamental. espe-
ciaity during the early morning hours.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-20
A Prayer TO the Spirit Of Humor.
Kate Masterson. in Lippincott's.
r(Op All. MEAD

Kate Masterson. in Lippincott's.
FOR ALI. HUMORTSTs, NEAR
HuMORISTS AND WOULD-BE
HCMORISTS
Deliver us from those Terrible Grimes
Old Jokes, Puns. Perversions of Speech.
and Mere Foolishness.
Vouchsafe that we may not fall into
the Labored, Hard-as-Nails. Dry-as-Dust
forms. That we may give no limitations.
That we may bear in mind that Hu,nor
noises above three Dark Morasses: Cruel
ty, Bad Taste. and Silliness. Failing into
any of these. humor becomes a Vice.
That we may Studiously avoid making
fun OF a Nation. q Cause. or an Individual
that is weak. That We may not Laugh at
Cripples.
That we may never forget our Climaxes.
That we may maintain a Playful Spirit.
and a Sense OF beauty and Sentiment.
which will prevent us from becoming dull.
That Wa una not be Pedanttc. Arbitrary.
OF Self Consc!Ous.
That we maj bear In min that II there
couI be one condition worse than a
World of Eternal Tears. 1t would be a
World Of Everlasting Smiles.
Grant us. therefore. some Sane and I.u-
cid Intervals.
Keep us from that Literary COwardice
that is sometimes Spoken OF as Whole
some Simplicity.
From Cheap Slang.
From Lines.
Fro0a Commonplace Themes.
From Parodies OH Omar.
Deliver US!
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-20
No Need.

No Need.
Professor Guy de Provost OF the Sor.
bonne in II discussion Of seasicknes. in
the lounge OF the George Washington
ended with the sad words:
..~Seasickness is incurable. The snle
consolation l can extend to the seaxick
il that afforded by the story OF the can
tain and the lady.
Captain said a lady passenger. nv
husband Is suffering dreadfu!ly from
sea sickness. Could ~ tell him what
il the best thing to do.
..The captain. with u loud and hearty
laugh. replied:
There's no need to tell him. ma.am
hell do It,"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-20
A Poet.

A Poet.
Into a tissue of remembered things
lie weaves the ~mOonbeans and the
threads of mist.
And cotors IT with sweet imasinings,
Cloudy embrOider.es. by sunset kissed.
IN fieeting prototype of children's
tears,
And in the music OF the running burns
The pent-up laughter OF a thousand
years.
Along the dear. familiar paths no knows.
The sigh that marks the crossing OF the
way,
The dreams that haunt the petals Of the
Aud all the wonders Of a quiet day:
SO glide away the years with minstraisy-
The magic of his Soundless fantasy.
Eleanor Ester. in Westminster Gazette.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-20
In Line.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
What makes you think the baby IL 60
ing to be a great Politician" asked tho
young mother. anxiously.
I'm tell you." answered the young faith
err. confidently: "he can say moro things
that sound we'll and mean nothing q al
than any kid I ever saw"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-20
A Fearful Revenge.
From d

Don't you think 1t is daxtardiy TO send
a man All Internal mach:ne?" asked Jc.cs
while motoring with Brown,
"Oh. I don't know. replied brown. az
the car gave a dying roar. halfway up
tire hill. "If 4 had an eueny I'd .orr
him Tits one"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-20
What Il Had /.

From ~Everybody's Weekly.
Diner-What do you call this?
Proprietor-It's bean soup. sir.
Diner-l dare say: but what the deuc
Is 1t now?
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-20
Lsss. Formidable.

Loee Formidable.
From the Denver News.
Editr-Pat il. Immensely pleased to hear
y0u afe.A poet.
FNcdtA-ls he?
EAethAOh. very. The last Of my lovers
~ tnoa, to kick was . football player.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-06-20
III. "ritanie" and Sea Law.

From the NT!flNt1AN Herald.
When the Titanic VI the White star line
went down she carried with her to her
resting pace TWO miles below the sur
1ace. moi only hundreds oil valuable lives
The fool-killer., 1912-10-01
Hain't Never Done Nothin'.

That terrible sad and weepy
publication known as Life, -
which tries so devilish hard to be
funny, has presented the follow
ing list of negations as evidence
that Woodpile Wilson would make.
an acceptable president:
He is not a lawyer.
He has no war record.
He does not care for hunting bears
Or other wild creatures.
He has never been judge and does
not boast of a judicial temperament.
He has not spent his life holding
political Office.
He does not come into prominence
on account of either the death or the
favor of his predecessor.
All Of which is equally true of
me. Now why in the thunder
wouldn't I do?
The fool-killer., 1912-10-01
Great is ''Property!"- Amen!

A certain paper which is a
bran-new convert to Bullmoose-
ism is powerful tickled at the
prospect of having Roosevelt to
stand between wild Socialism
and the property interests of this
country Why, Nv course.
Property interests are very
sacred things in this country, but
mere human interests are not
worth talking about. Say, fellers,
I'll tell ye-we've all made a
devil of a mistake in being born
humans. If we want the govern
ment's "protection'' we must get
transformed into some kind of
property" Which would you
rather be, a sawmill or pet pig,
a railroad or a jackass?
The fool-killer., 1912-10-01
Not Worth The Price.

K. Lamity's Harpoon breaches
q whole sermon in the following
paragraph:
1t costs the public ten hundred
thousand dollars to manufacture a
millionaire, and as a rule he isn't
worth a dam to the country after it
gets him.
Now if I was cussin' man l
would say it just that way. But
as | don't cuss, you may just
take K. Lamity's word for it.
The fool-killer., 1912-10-01
NO. s.,

| am said to be the handsomest
and most popular man in the
country. And I'll swear you are
the prettiest girl I ever saw, SO
what's to hinder us from getting
upa case? Can I sit down here?
That's a good girl, Can I put my
arm around you? Oh, you sweet
thing! Doggon'd if amt heels
over. head in love with you a.
ready! Do you love me, sweet
ness? Then kiss me. Yum-yum!
Smack k-smack! Um-m -m-m-mp'
Teddy Boy Say, you con-
founded imposters, git away from
here. This is my gal.''
Billy the Fat;- You're an in
! fernal liar she's mine.'' .
Woody "Youare both blamed
liars she belongs to me. Hike
out, both Of you, and let us a.
lone"
Teddy Boy "Hay-ah! Hay
ah! Dad-gum! Liar! Hypocrite!
Mollycoddle! Polecat! Son-of-a-
gun! She's my gal, Itell ye-I
love her the bestH'
Billy the Fat: 'Tain't so,
you goggle-eyed gazook-I love
her the best"
Woody ''Ho, darn it! Golly-
whoop! Git out, you blankety-
: blank grandsons Of Ananias! She
is mine-I love her the best!"
All Three at Once:- "Yow-
VOW git confound- love = liar
my oh! ouch! = love gal
biff! thump! - sprawl! - oh! -
hel-hel-hel-help!"
The fool-killer., 1912-10-01
VOL. Ill.
COIN AWAY.

Pm goin' away on the evenin' train
Coin to be gone for right smart
spell;
Looks sorter cloudy an looks like
Guess better take my umberell.
Winds from the north an it may
turn cold,
An I've gotta ticklin' in my throat;
Wouldn't get sick for bag of gold
Guess [ better take my overcoat.
When I get out to Sans and James
know their table will be treat;
But there amt no certainty in them
Guess I better take me snack to
eat.
Always get dirty on that-thar ride,
Though I can't tell as it ever hurts
But just for the sake of little pride,
Guess better take me a change of
shirts.
Might get asked to brilliant ball
Where I could dance with painted
beaut.
Now what if l was to? Hang it all, =,
Guess I better take my evenfn' suit.
If I'm goin' out for high old time
If Pm going to go the pace that
kills
! just won't look at measley dime
Guess I better take me roll of
bills.
Might meet up with a robber band,
AS wealthy travellers often do;
An SO, in order to stand my hand,
Guess better take my forty two.
Say, this old suitcase amt no good
'Tain't goin' to hold all this-here
junk;
Done crammed in just all could
Guess I better take my biggest
trunk
I'd hate like thunder to get most there
An then think of somethin' that
I'd forgot;
30, in order to keep my business
square,
Guess 1 better take my house an
lot.
Aw, plague the luck! I'll just declare
It's too much trouble to run about
An l amt got the time to spare
Guess better give my journey out
JAMES LARKIN PEARSON.
The fool-killer., 1912-10-01

A POLITICAL LOVE AFFAIR.
Teddy Boy Speaks:

Teddy Boy Speaks:
''Oh dear Miss Peepu], me Nv
90 harder'n a mule can kick. Me
Nv 90 ten sousand bushels. Goo,
goo, goo! Does 90 Nv oo's Teddy
Boy?Oh, honey, me des willin' to
die for 90, me Nv 90 so dood.
Ugh! By George! Me see some old
mean mans a-comin' to spark mes
honey bunch. Now, honey, 90 des
huddle up here to me. Don't 90
div dem old mean mans nary tiss.
Don't 90 let 'em hold dem tweet
hands, nuvver. Nobody amt dot
no wight to 90 only oo's Teddy
Boy. Amt dat wight? YUM yum!
fSmack Um-m mt -
Billy the Fat Speaks:
Law, law, Miss Peepul, who
is this you are spooning with? I
say, Big Tooth, you hike out Of
here. Just tote your freight, now.
This is my gal. We have been
sweethearts for years. | love her,
and she loves me, and amt 60
ing to be cut out by no such a
looking thing as you. Now git!
(Turning to Miss PeepuD: Tum
here, honey, and tiss oo's old fat
boy. Oh, darling, mes NV for oo
am des too deep for words. Me
tan't desquibe it, honey, but, oh,
me des feels all over meself. Does
90 feel dat-a-way, too, honey? Ne
teach old Big Toof how to stea
me honey-gal. Dat me will! Nov
div oo's big boy anuvver tiss
Yum yum! Smack-smac Um-m
m-m-mI'
Woody Wilson Speaks:
"Gee-whiz! I see two fellerE
yanderwith a girl. And doggone6
if I don't believe it's that beauti
! full Miss Peepul. Shores Pm bor1
! tits. And that's old Big Tootl
and Big Smile trying to make
love to her. The old self-conceiteC
fools! I'lf'f their clock see if
don't. I'll have 'em to know tina
I'm some lady-killer myself
{ (Woody approaches and speak
/ to Miss PeepuD:: Good-morning
Miss Peepul! Allow me to intro
duce myself. Ny name is Wilson
,ther copy. Help me introduce
The fool-killer., 1912-10-01

A man and his wife are con-
sldered one, but they often have
big fuses about which one of
them tits.
The fool-killer., 1912-10-01
A New Wrinkle On His Horn.

It was the first automobile he
had ever seen, and he yanked
his team aside as it passed, close
ly followed by a motorcycle. II
hearn lots about them things y
he yelled, 'but consarn my skin
if ever hearn they had colts
before. -
The fool-killer., 1912-10-01

The reason doctors hold "con-
sultations'' with each other is be-
cause one doctor can often think.
Of something to operate for which
hasn't occurred to the other.
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1912-05-10
UNARMED GUARDS.

There is some discussion i'm the East.
ern newspapers about the RESIGNATION
OF guard at the Indiana State pcni.
Tertiary because he was not permitted
to carry revolver while in among
the prisoners, The Springfield Mass
Union argues that the guard was right.
and that guards should be allowed 10
carry their arms while on duty amono
the prisoners on the inside Of the prison
yard and the cell houses. 1t objects
to statement made by the president
or the Indiana Peuitentiary Board that
the llfe of a guard must now and then
be sacrificed. if need he, in maintaining
discipline; and certainly the President
Of the Board stated his position in a
very raw and censurabc manner. The
very reason why guards should not
carry arms while in among the prison
crs is to protect their lives; for the con
Ncts viii not be apt TO kill guard
unless they expect TO rob him Of his
arms. An armed guard in among a
yardiull Of prisoners is a great tempta.
ton TO them to jump on HIM, and If
need be, Kill him. 30 they can take his
arms for their own use. And that is
he real reason why guards should not
bc armed while they are in among the
PRISONERS. 1t IS not in order that "A
guard S life NAV he sacrificed, but that
" may he saved; for tho very. plain
reason that there would hc no sufi.
cient incentive on the part Of prisoners
10 XII guard unless they expected to
get his arms. To kill guard In more
wantonness with nothing gained would
ensure capital punishment without anv
sort OF question, and would he very
rare.
IL is tho rule in most prisons and
ought to be the rule in all, that guards.
while IN among prisoners. should not be
armed This should he so we'll under
stood aud so thoroughly enforced, that
all OF The prisoners would updcrsta nd
The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1912-05-10

fully that in assanltiue guard there
would be no chance 10 get arms To
imagine that Il guard could protect
himself from rush Of prisoners, or
even use or preserve his arms, is all
idle dream. The prisoners could make
Il rush and get the guard and has wca.
pons before he had any chance what
ever 10 use them. There is not, as
rule. any reason To believe that, ex-
ccpt for sheer malice or revenge, ahv
Of the prisoners would assault guard,
save only for the great reason of eX
pccting TO get a gun by so doing, This
is so well understood that guards them.
selves are, for the most part, not only
willing. bu, more than willing, to he
deprived Of their arms while In among
the prisoners. TO he uuarmcd is to
be safer Than 10 be armed And so
our Massachusetts contemporary is ali
wrong on ;hc main question; but lis
censure Of the president of the Indiana
board for his raw and brutal talk
about sacrificing guard now aud then.
is absolutely right. There is neither
acccpcy nor sense IN that kind Of talk.