The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-12-29
BY WELLINGTON VANDIVER

and enjoy himself worse than q drunkard at a barbecue.
 He is absolutely the only species of swine that can outrun a nigger. Fact is the razorback can develop speed that beats Christmas coming Bill Ledbetter and Tom Jenkins was neighbors, and Bill had q swift pack of fox hounds, while Tom owned some Twentieth Century lu,- ited' razor backs. Tom bet Bill that his razor backs could catch fox quicker than his hounds. They got fox. loosed him, and gave the hogs 20 yards start of the dogs.
 Tn 9 minutes them hogs had caught the fox and devoured him, and taking the back track, eat up four of the dogs be- lore Bill and Tom could get there.
 Crossing a razor-back with the ble blooded stock doesn't improve the breed
 the only successful way is to cross him with a big Mogul Locomotive going x rnlles an hour. He then becomes a Reg istered imported thoroughbred, and after ar angry correspondence, lasting two years, between B. B. Conner and Milton Il. Smith, the railroad company settles for that hog at the rate of one dollar per pound-and the State pays a special At torney fifteen cents for each hair on the hogs back, and expenses, for "speca and extraordinary services in railroad lit igaton."
 The razor back is built on the Swiss cottage style of architecture. his bacs being II inches above the root of his tail His narrative has no curl but swings as limp as dish rag, while his snout, oI rooter, occupies two-thirds of his cor Eoreal system. With this formidable pro- tuberance he can overturn an Iron safe and bite pumpkin in half through the crack of a fence. It's impossible to get one of 'em fat. Joe Cowan penned up a razor back, determined to fatten him up or die in the attempt. He fed that hog swill by pouring it through the barrel oi a single barrelled shotgun. emptied into him 150 bushels of shelled corn, 20 bush els of meal. 10 bushels of goober peas anc dray load of acorns. and at the end of IS months that hog weighed IA pounds and 9 ounces dressed.
 ''The ham of q razor back is as juicy as the ham of an automobile tire, but moi quite as good eating as Asphalt paving The razor back hog is carnivorous wormivorous, and snakeivorous. He vii chew up rattlesnake with the same deadly calm that a Bank President turns down your application for loan of sever collars. Besides being highly decorative among the other fauna and flora of oui woods. he is the only insect in the wort capable of arousing a nigger from tht deepest unruffled calm and doze, to pur- sue this Ignis Fatuous through the pri Ineval forests his legs going like a pat cnt churn about ten rods in the rear Cf the serene raZor-back.
 If l am ever called on to devise Flag or a Great Seal for the State of Alabama 1 shall insist on an escutcheon containing a razor-baek- hog being pursued by hun RIy nigger on a mortgaged mule, in the foreground as to the background. you may fill that up with any old thing--a lot of disappointed candidates for Post office Jobs could be put there, they will be in the background anyhow after the 4th of March,
 "Uh. Huh" remarked the County Sur yeyor." while I'm ready to admit that the razor-baclS and the Senegambian are familiar features of our charming land scaupe, an institution of our beloved country. so to speak, yet they are not or most cherished products. Now, there's the Boys corn clubs. and the one-gallused Farmer. and these spectacled Savarts that's a telling us, from a book, how to sdbsoil hoss-appIes, and shake down tu' ners from the trees without skinning 'en and other truly rural, Agricul-too-ral-loo- ral information. Tn my opinion the good them bald-headed College Farmers. witt Ioot-Iarnt experieuce. Is doing could be