New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-01-06
A STRENUOUS CHRISTMAS
Lonaworth Says It's No SineCure
To Be a Son-in-LaW.
HARD WORK AT OYSTER BAY
Had to Chop Down Three Trees
and Walk Seventeen Miles
but Never Again"
TFrom The Tribune Bureau.l


Washington, Jan. 5.-That the mere
massive state of being son-in-law 10 a
etronuous father-in-law is far from Il
sinecure has long been appreciated py
the more intimate colleagues of the Hon.
Nicholas Longworth, member ot the
House Of Representatives from ONO puI
the full extent TO which such an uhlortu-
nate NAV be made to suffer has never
been realized until now, for only since
tbo goptIa hand Of time has touched with
soothing grace his strained ana weary
muscles has the Hon. Mick cohsehteu
20 foil the true story of his Christmas at
Oyster Bay.
with his normal misgivings lulled into
fancied security by the holiday spirit
according TO the son-in-law OF the co'o-
mel he accepted an invitation to spenu
Christmas at Sycamore HILL The even
ing Of his arrival. Christmas Eve
rassed without untoward incident ana
on Christmas morning he arose with the
Of spending a DAY Oh rest
and good cheer in the bosom OF MS as
,i,,o,,iebed father-in-law's family-but It
was not TO be.
No sooner had Mr.. Lorgworth lighted
his post-breakfast cigar and settied
down for a comfortable, lazy forenoon
tbor the colonel appeared clad in riding
breeches and leggings.
".Nick'" he said, with his inimitaoIe
s-,iIe "Im not feeling precisely ht these
DAYS I'm not getting enough eXerciSe'
Let's go and chop down few trees
Unwilling to be called "A gutter Nr'
L,ongworth extricated his somewhat 'o-
tund self from the depths of an easy
chair and went.
Following us came the seconds saws
,rr I,ongworth, as he relates 'ne
notbetic story. Each bore he"'y
sharpened axe, and we strode on un','
we came to a clump Of eight trees e'0''
as big as the coloners thigh.
pick your four" exclaimed ule
colonel. and with great care MI L""s
worth picked the four which iooNeu ''e
sr,aIIor Then the two aXcmen STARCH
- pefore he was half way through LIS
first tree he heard the coIohei IAN
With straining muscles ana ol','''l
c,ro,,ing shorter and shorter the plucNy
son-in-law chopped mantully on
As he dropped the third tree the cor
onoI drorned his fifth, and feeling that
u slower he was still game MI Long
worth accompanied his strenuous parent
INV marriage to the house.
..%ovor before did ! know | had 50
...,,,. muscles never used says MT
I,ongworth mournfully as he 'eI'S ,"e
toIo And every one of those musc'eS
,ros so sore that l felt as II Ia pee"
-, from, head to foot. | can tell you
:. ,,ao with infinite relief that l sank
- ,n,t easy chair again and thought
the colonel satisfied
bountiful midday meal followed ana
inc, &c the sore and weary son-in-la"
','a, '", aortamplating nap the colonel ap-
peared again. ,oor,,,,. 20
must have little VAIN ' '''N
his blandcst smile.
NOW I couldn't admit l was a molly
ooda,o couId 70 says Mr.. Longworth 70
his interested colleagues
lust a short walk; we Il take IL le'S-
nro,y' y"'s said the colonel reassurinsIy, as
yo started out say about four miles
ar hour g.. tour borrs and
,no ord Of that time we had covered
'',.on,oen d. 80, miles. says Mr. Longworth;
s no adds, almost tearfuIly: Be
'" ,,",a me it was the most miserable
n,.,.,mas ever put In; but If ever |
80, ~ Cool enough % go there for a holiday
aaair the first Democrat that catches
"'s mn in the open may shoot me on sight
and Iu never prosecute HIM for muir
der" ,,,...
,.,,n.orth started in with tremendous
,a"ry ','"S 70 draft wool bilI and it is only
,'''' ,,,,nation %, Of his entire loss Of en-
.,,,. - ,hat he has now consented to tell
no 90 .,nry Of his Christmas At oyster
Ray.