The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1912-01-10
I'll e A r ID
BY
R u b E
~Then You.n Remember,

..Then You'll Remember"
When even the very earth is baked.
And the ice man cruelty passes you up,
When your thirst won't stay slaked.
And you don't care for drink or sup.
When the nercurys up to 9S
And it goes ahead with its climb.
When even the water boils in the lake |
Then you'n remember this good old |
zero time
-HENNERY COLDBoTTLE
Paste the above poem on your icebox !
door for future use.
THEN again. you might throw a few
of the bread scraps out on the back
steps for the snow birds
BE careful about throwing away your
old 1911 calendars. You cam use them
again in 1922. 1882 and 1899.
THE probable reason that East Gary
is for Taft and 10 for Teddy is be-
cause the former is advertising out of
town for candidates to fill the post
mastership.
Well, You Have Four saloons.
CLARK Station correspondence to THE
TINES
FOR a long time it has never hap
has frozen. II cause q great incon-
venience without enough water
THE next time you see a married
| man with neck looking like the map
of Macedonia you can put it down that
he uses a Gillette and that his wife
shaves his neck
MISS FAwN LIPPINCUT says she
kin hardly wait till she gifts up in TIL
TT
wuz so cold Yesterday that even tn
scent theaters lost money
ABE MARTIN.
| IF we only thought of it last sum-
mer when things were dull we would
have put all of the printers to work
setting up heads: Frozen Pipes Causes
Fire. More Cold in Sight" Trains
Late as Usual" etc.
The Cruise of the Water Wagon
! THIRD day-No temperance lecture
| as yet. Sorry to say that the crew is
up against 1T. Every pump I'm town
has frozen up and everybody in East
Gary has to drink near beer to allay
his thirst. Hennery Coldbottle has
developed a tremendous thirst and he
keeps the bellboy busy carrying pitch
ers of near beer up to HIS room. John
Miller sent Charlie Hannifan over to
! Hammond to see what is the matter
with that carload OF Edeiweiss he or
dered two days ago. 1t is expected
that Hennery will deliver his temper
ance lecture In the new town hall. To-
day Ky Balls wife was in town looking
for him, but Hy was busy riding around
on the new street car line. The proof
! reader likes the town so well that he is
thinking of staying and starting a
weekly paper. Bud wiser says that he
hopes the pumps stay frozen for week
or more. Members of the W. C. 7. U
sent in $500 to Hennery to aid in the
temperance work If the weather is
nice the water wagon will take a short
run over to New Chicago. where Hen
merry has learned that there are -four
saloons and six houses. He believes
that he can do good work there. To.
day a half dozen good fellows, whe
came over to the water wagon head
iquarters to sign the pledge, stayed fol
| several hours and when they left they
! sang, For He Is a Jolly Good Fellow.
III I.ater-The usewives of the towr
| are getting suspicious. They are try
ing to find out why so many empty bot
tie were carried out of the temperance
4 headquarters under cover of darkness.
last night In a way, Hennery ex
planned this by stating that he hat
found that the proofreader had sue
;, cumbed to temptation and that he tool
the bottles away from him and empties
| their contents out the back window.
/. METHUSELAH is about the onl,
man that we know of who found tina
it didn't pay to carry life insurance
h PROF. PHII4AS BUGGS the notes
professor of political economy of Hos
: ford Park is trying to figure out wher
the poor get off when a charity bal
l. that cost se.25O for new gowns bring
Il in net receipts of sss.43.
II ONE good thing about being poor
that YOU don't have to worry abou
: your Cadillac So freezing up while
Al stands out in front for ten minutes.
II Hazel. MUTT, who intends to sum
'e mer it out at Miller beach, has ordere
a half dozen pairs OF those new he
:. wave sox
w. II. II. P-Your letter for Henner
Coldbottle has been forwarded to Eas
Gary. Replying to your query to I
whether the water wagon has been I
the patch yet, it will be there in du
time.
TWENTY THREE for life on til
farm. especially when you have to tax
,ri your Saturday night bath in the was
:. tub and with not more than kettle
= full of hot water handy.
isi ORR idea of ha=ing things your ow
il way. To be a coal dealer up at Med
al cine Hat. where it is 10 below zer
ini three months at time.