Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-10-17
- On .TAE. SPVRA9
f9 ~.THEiMOMENT
NC by Roy K. Moulton. q

%aeroplane that will stay stationary in
the air. But if IL does. how can it
get anywhere?
But Jane Adams cannot supper
I. RS simplified spelling plank un-
I'll she removes that extra ID" from
one New York burglar always
wears rubber gloves. He is probably
not taking any chances with tainted
money
An agronomist is n mar who is an
expert i'll crops. a pessismist is a
man who tries to raise them.
BRoMIDEs.
"If Jones. next door. doesn't keep
his chickens out of the garden there
is going to be a murder in this neigh
borhood before the week is over"
II Just know little Ronald is going
TO De a newspaper reporter when he
grows up. He has such a vivid imag-
ination and such u knack for story
telling"
III o want to get cured. go and
see my doctor. He's the best in his
town"
II amt had a bit OF trouble with
this n since bought it seven
years ago. Yes, I'll sell tat "a bar
gain, too"
CONSOLATION.
When the world seems dark and
And you're feelin' mighty blue.
And you think that old Dame For
tune
Has the Chinese curse on you,
1t will bring a lot of comfort.
Though the pessimist may scof,
To consider some poor Teller
who's Il htlndre times worse of.
If your finances are droppin'
In u dismal sort of way.
And YOU owe someone IS
That you hin you ought to pay.
While YOU may think you surely
Are he most foriorn of men.
You're exactly twice as we'll Oft
AS the Teller that owes $40.
When your clothes are gettin' shabby
And Your friends begin to think
That you've hit the steep tobogEan
And you're surely on the blink.
When this summer you are Wearin'
The same buds you wore last fall,
just consider we'll the Zulus
Who dOn't have n clothes at all.
When you've got a jumpin' headache
And you think there amt no chance
That you're going to live till morning,
And your nerves all seem to dance,
just consider some poor fellow
With sciatic rheumatic,
Who's been laid up since last Christi
And compare you woe with his.
NO use kickin' on your troubles.
You can't dodge 'em and l guess
That. while everybody has 'em,
Some have more and some have less.
You can just defy Dame Fortune
And her Wanted Chinese curse.
FOR no matter much what happens.
1t might be a whole lot worse.
PERSONAL.
Sylvia Bird, You say that YOU sent
a love story to a New York magazine
nearly q week ago and have not vet
received a check for it; also that you
are very anxious. Our advice is NOT to
begin to worry until about one year
after you send the story. In the mean
time 1t will probably come back to
you with a neat note of apology, tell
ing you that your story is too good to
print. we sent one is years ago and
nave been sending it to different mag
every year since. We started with
the Century and may he able to land
1t IN the Police Gazette in a decade or
SO from now. and then. again. we may
not. Be not discouraged. fa1r one, the
worst Is yet to come.
Hortense: 1t is not likely that the
young man has forsaken you, Just be-
cause he hasn't written to you since
tuesday. Maybe he hasn't got a
stamp. Send him n or two occa-
sionally. Don't be a tightwad.
Bob Fitz: You ask how much
whisky to put into a bull moose high
Dali. Two horns, of course.
y. H.-No. Venus is not q city in
italy noted for Its canals. Venus was
a woman without any arms. who
couldn't have operated q clean
ier or played the aluminium chimes in
vaudeville to ave her life.
James-A husbandet il q husband OF
= -- Well. you know who he's the
husband of. Yes. there are several OF
4us.
Reconnaissance, we think the stand
ards in this country should be raised,
but there IL one standard that Is thor
oughly capable OF raising itself, and
that 10 Standard OH.
YES. WE COULD LIVE WITHOUT
THESE.
Old -feshioned mustard plasters.
Detachable cuffs.
Political conventions.
Bridge whist.
English comic papers.
Literary critics who can't write.
Hoo mince pie.
Homemade shirts.
Sleeve elastlcs.
Friends who tell US things for our
own good.
-
.HONEYFUGLERS.
The duck who lets his wife pick out
his clothes.
The nttle old party with side whis-
IN A1~SANeA -~ae-A-A-M A. Nn-Al--A