davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12
Medical Genius.

An old doctor, seeing a young one
who was going along the street with
half a dozen shabby-looking men and
women, called him aside and asked
Who are all those people. and where
are you going with them?"
Il will tell you In confidence" was
the reply, that I've hired them to
come and sit in my reception room.
expect a rich patient this morning.
and l want to make an impression on
him, Judges Library.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12
Common Sense commendabIe Rut.

Common sense is commeniabIe
quality. 1t keeps US from doing many
foolish acts and 1t is altogether reli-
able. like a good kitchen range or
favorite cake recipe. But the trouble
with an excess of common sense is
that it often crowds out much that is
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12
UTILIZE rian.

II wish | could tind out who wrote
this anonymous letter." said Senator
Sorghum. as he paused in the work OF
going through his correspondence.
HAS 1t annoyed your
No. But the fellow has some
mighty happy ideas in invect1ve. I'd
like to get him to write few cam
paign speeches for me-
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12

delightfully."- absurd, beautifully sweet,
and tenderly delirious. Also. too much
common sense makes US too serious
and to be too serious is not to be COM
panionable to those who love u.s. Be-
ware. you wise ones, lest you grow too
wise A little nonsense-you know the
rest
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12
In a Hurry.

Magistrate-What is the charge
against this old man?
| Officer-Stealing some birthstone,
| your honor. He was caught in the act.
Magistrate Ito prisoner)-My aged
friend, couldn't you have waited a few
years longer?
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12
Superficial ImrreSsion.

"A detective is a mysterious per
sonage."
Yes" replied Mrs. McGudley. And
one of the most mysterious things
about detectives is that their arduous
literary labors should leave them any
time to detect"
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12
Plain Proof.

DO you believe his sentiments for
you are really candid!
Il should say so by the boxes OF
bonbons he sends
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12

with a linen rag. a piece of silk or
will do more to preserve good furni-
ture than any veneer sold at the pres
ent time"
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12
Rats,

Jim-Do you think Mamie is taller
than Susie?
TIM should say that she is just
about one rat taller
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12
SAVING His Money,

Owens-Say, lend me a flyer. old
man.
Bowens-If you'd save your own
money you wouldn't have to borrow
from your friends.
Owens-But it's because ! want to
save my own money that L borrow
from my friends
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12

There are men who see that dignity
nay De disgraced, and who feel that
disgrace may be Notwithstanding
broke.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12
The Ideal

Iother-When he went to kiss you.
why didn't you call me?
Daughter-Why, ma, | never i'm
agined that you wanted him to kiss
YOU.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12
iiQhtWeiQht.

He hasn't much head"
That's a fact; If he were standing
upon 1t you could say that he had no
visible means of support"
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12
She Knew.

Miss Gusher-Oh, please tell me-!
Do you think poets have to be born
The Poets Wife-Yes, borne with.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12
1hOIpdS JefevORS Symbolic Devices

Prof BERNARD lG6RAhD
co0n@NonT 81 w * C<K<1rnAn
AMA OR the first time in
Id !. J: ! !. !. :. !. !.
ELH7 near a generation the
T&ll anniversary of Thomas
y HEMH e II erson's birthday
Il aHMEA April 13-will receive
y EEEE&ty IN v ersal recognition
EA Drs throughout the nation.
eSssf>ksy The celebration of this
great Americans natal
Cay is peculiarly APP
proprfate time to point out incidents in
his career which have been passed
over by the historians, but are none
the less fraught with deep interest to
the minds of those who look upon
him as one of the most commanding
hgures IN the ranks of the iberators
who participate in the Struggle
against British supremacy.
There are continually strange and
uncommon items relating to Jeffer-
sons career coming TO the surface
and what an author fifty years ago
cast aside as unimpOrtant and not
worthy Of publication the researcher
of today is apt to pronounce welcome
additions TO biographical knowledge.
Some of the early scripts Of Jefferson,
now in the possession of Miss Sarah
N Randolph-greatgr granddaughter Of
the famous Virginian-Were hastily eX-
amined by William Curtis. who wrote
- e ~ n
material therein contained was not
considered available for his purpose.
Among these documents are now dis
covered certain items discarded by
the distinguished biographer. but
which nevertheless proved of much
Importance in deciphering a very es-
sential element in the heraldic as
well as religious suggestions made by
jefferson during the formative period
Of our republic.
Among these seemingly unimportant
notes and memoranda appears evil
dence to the effect that in IVA two
years before Jefferson wrote the
Declaration of independence, he used
the term United States of America"
the first time that such present-day
denomination was given to the con-
decorating colonies. Further con
formation of Jefferson's deep fore
sight is found In the same record, or
semi-diary, of 1774, where the follow
ing remarkable entry occurs:
"A proper device Gnstead of armsl
for the American States United, would
be the father presenting the bundle
of rods to his sons"
This was intended as a seal of the
United States and shows that as early
as the fall of 1874 in suggesting this
design Jefferson believed in separa-
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12

their disputes by his exhortations. he
determined 10 give them a practical
illustration of the evils of disunion.
For this purpose he one day told
them 10 bring him a bundle Of sticks,
and when they had done So placed the
faggot in the hands Of each of them
in succession, ordering them to break
1t to pieces. They each tried with all
their strength, and failed He next
Enclosed (untied) the faggot and took
the stick separately One by one he
again put them into their hands. and
then they broke them easily He
then addressed them in these words:
My sons, if you are of one mind
ana unite to assist each other, you
Will De as this faggot, uninjured by all
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12

Better rtrong prejudice than
yak conviction.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12

the attempts of your enc
mics; but if you are divided
among yourselves, you will
be broken as easily as these
sticks.
In the foregoing summary
we have the Jeffersonian
idea expressed as it would
relate itself to the union of
the thirteen colonies. 1t
was direct, convincing and
logical, as shown in some of
the present state seals.
Two years later than the
date of the entry referred to.
July 4, 1875, we see Jeffer-
son, Franklin and Adams ap-
pointed a committee to de-
wise seal for the young re-
public. His co-committeem
like himself, were known to
be thoroughly informed on
heraldic matters, and it was
natural that the Continental
Congress would select people
Of their culture and learning
for the performance of such
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1912-04-12

The man who argues with his wife
is one kind of an idiot
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
Watch for the Balloon.

Wichita, Kan.-The Morton-Simmons
Hardware Co., of this city, is going to
pull off an unusual stunt on July 4th-
At 10 o'clock a. m, on that day they
will release large balloon, the dimen-
sions of which are about 80 feet in
height by 25 feet in diameter. The
unique feature of this balloon is that
there will be attached to it prize
tag emitting the finder of the balloon
to "Keen Kutter' tool cabinet valued
at $1,000. All the finder will have to
do will be to return the balloon and
the prize tag to the Morton-Simmons
Hardware Co. in this city and receive
the tool cabinet If the wind happens
to be in the right direction on July
4th, you stand as good show as any
body to secure this fine set of tools,
absolutely free. Keep your eye peeled
after 10 o'clock a. m, July 4th.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
Wanted to Know the cuIprlt.
'wyer-How often was Mr.

The following story was told recent;
ly by Austin Haines to a party OF
friends he entertained at luncheon:
Down in a little Florida town two
negro families live in shanties about
a stones throw apart. They obtain
their drinking water from shallow
open well located midway between the
two houses. A fence which separates
the two yards is built up to the well
on both sides. Every evening after
her days work Is done, 1t is the GUS
tom of one of the negro mammies to
pick up buckets and go to the well for
water. One day the owner of the
property moved the fence back about
ten feet from where 1t originally stood
That evening when. Eliza started out
with her pail she fixed her eye on the
fence and made straight for it. Walk
ing hurriedly along the beaten path
she plunged into the shallow we'll with
splash. Her screams brought i'm
mediate assistance, and as she climb
ed out and spied the fence ten feet
away she Indignantly exclaimed:
"'Now, who done moved dat well?'
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
Kansas Farmers Turn To Irrigation

Manhattan, Kan.-Small irrigating
plants are being installed in many
parts of western Kansas. The sheet
of water known as the underflow, is
to be used at an increasingly large
number of places. So determined are
farmers, to insure themselves against
protracted dry spells that the Kansas
Agricultural college can scarcely sup
ply all the help they ask in putting
their pumping plants in order. II. X.
Walker, drainage engineer at the col
lege has a schedule of visits that will
keep him actively in the field for two
weeks, and nearly every one Is to
help in planning an irrigation system
for which the power will be supplied
by windmill or engine. A surprising
ly large number of five and twenty
acre plots are being arranged. This
means that every farmer, so planning,
expects to grow something that will
protect him from crop failure-gipe
him a side-line.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
KANSAS TOPICS
CONVENTION "COP' COL
LoRED GOVERNOR STUBBS
Kansas Executive Has No Ticket and
Narrowly Escapes Election.

Topeka, Kan.-Governo Stubs was
in hard luck in Chicago during the
convention. A Chicago policeman had
had him by the coat collar ejecting
him from the floor of the convention,
when Harold Blase, editor OF the
Topeka capital, came to his rescue.
The governor had been so busy man.
aging the Roosevelt campaign that he
forgot to rustic a convention ticket.
About az hour before the convention
opened, Henry j. Allen went over TO
Kansas headquarters to see If he could
find ticket for the governor.
Dave Mulvane was there dishing out
tickets to the Kansans.
"You will give the governor a ticket
wont you Dave?" asked Allen.
"Well it is rather late to be making
requests for tickets" replied Mulvane,
"but l will put him on the waiting
list and treat him just the same as
other people"
But he doesn't want to go on the
waiting list" replied Allen HE wants
to go to the convention"
Dave smiled and put down the name
"Stubbs" on the waiting list. Allen
left the room and Dave evidently never
reached Stubbs name on the list.
Soon after the convention opened
Harold Chase went in on the main
floor. He had not gone far when he
saw a policeman ordering Stubs out
of the hall because he had no ticket
The governor no odubt had run across
a friendly doorkeeper. AS the govern
or was being showed along Chase
walked up to the policeman and said:
"Mr. officer, you ought not to put
that man out. He is the governor OF
Kansas"
well, I'll let him stay this time,
said the policeman, "but he ought to
skirmish up ticket somewhere for
the rest of the convention"
And so Stubs got to stay In.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
Rather an Open Secret.

A very important citizen was drawn
on jury, a week or two ago, and l
met him after he had been discharged.
He seemed to think that he was en-
titled to be on the bench, at the very
least.
What was your verdict in that
case?" | asked
1.-The defendant was unanimously
acquitted on the first ballot
"Tndeed? And how did you voter
THAT, sir, is one of the sacred Sc
crets of the juryroom '"-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
Golden Belt Route a Success.

Junction City, Kan.-That the Gold
en- Belt road is already an emphatic
success is demonstrated by the in
creased number of touring auto
mobiles which pass through the city
each day. Almost all of them are
westward bound, many to Colorado,
while others are going to the. Johnson
Flynn fight at Las Vegas. All of the
autoists are lound in their praises Of
the Golden Belt road. and especially
command the direction and danger
signs placed along the route
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
On Land and Sea.

circumstances alter cases even in
human nature"
Yes. Take Jorkins, for instance.
He's one of those grandiose Chester
fields who would give up his seat in
a lifeboat to a woman, and then make
an attempt to lead the saloon orches-
ira in Nearer, My God, to Thee as the
ship sinks"
81 see. On land Jorkins is the fell
low at o'clock who horns through
the women and children and gets a
window seat in his homebound street
car"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
Sniid ivory

Eyes," confessed Mr.. Dorkins, 1T
serves me right I engaged the man
to move our goods, and forgot to ask
him how much he was going to charge
me for the Job. If ever l do such
a thing again, Maria, you can have
my head for a football"
TT would be good deal more profit
able, john" said Mrs. Dorkins, ito
cut It up into billiard balls.
Tribune.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
Lansing Breaks Irvine Record.

Leavenworth, Kan-One million
pounds of Irvine for binding Kansas
wheat during the harvest season has
been made in the Irvine works of the
stae prison, Lansing, since April l.
The product was shipping in nine
cars. This is the largest quantity OF
Irvine ever manufactured in a prison.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
SnappY ACE.

The young man breezed into the old
mans library.
81 met your daughter" he an
nounced, "at Fifth avenue reception.
I want to marry her next Friday aft
ernoon at $3.50. She's willing"
The old man turned to his card
index.
(Which daughter" he asked.
Its Miss Ethel"
"All right" said the old man.
Make 1t 4:30 and I'll attend the we'd
ding. l have an engagement at the
other hour"
1t was ordered. This is a snappy
age-Pittsburg Post.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
The Two Sexes,

Miss Lillian Russell, at birthday
supper in New York, was congratu-
lated on her unfading beauty and on
her high spirits.
Miss Russell, laughing gaily, re-
piled:
"A woman is as happy, you know,
as she looks pretty"
And MANI" said her interlocutor,
"Oh, a man." she answered, SIS as
happy as he feels important"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

A splendid and highly recommended
remedy for tired. weak, inflamed eyes.
and granulated eyelids. is Paxtine An
tiseptic, at druggists, 25c box or sent
postpaid on receipt Of price by The
Paxton Toilet Co.. Boston, Mass.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
impractical on the Face of It.

Il understand" said Mr.. Erastus
Pinkley, dat dey has invented a
machine fob washin an ironin'
money"
GO long, man." replied Miss MI
ami Brown. you knows des as well
as I does desc white folks ain g'ineter
leave no clothes lines full O. two-dol-
lar bills hangin' out in de yard" =
Washington Star.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
Have $1,000 For Girls, oOrmItory

Lawrence, Kan.-Figures just given
out by the committee appointed for
soliciting subscriptions for the new
girls dormitory, show that $4,000 has
been subscribed by alumni, students
and friends of the university during
the last year. of this amount, $1,000
has been received since June 1.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
Mans Neck Broken in Runaway

Pratt Kan.-Ira French was killed
in a runaway accident here the other
night. The mans neck was broken
when he was thrown from buggy
in which he was riding. Bob Carr,
Ralph Swope, the two other occupants
of the vehicle we're slightly injured.
French leaves a widow and several
children,
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
Channels Rag Enough for Two.

An upper grade teacher In one OF
the Kansas City schools was cleaning
the blackboard with a large piece of
chamois.
my, but you use large chamois!"
laughingly remarked another teacher.
Eyes, and it's large enough for two.
Use 1t whenever you need It,"
"Oh, you don't think I have that
much cheek?"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

The whale, after parting with Jo-
nah, was gazing after his retreating
form.
eff any one had told me-" murmured
the great mammal, bitterly, that |
would find a man ready to jump down
my throat, never would have swal-
lowed 1t whole"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
When Your Eyes Need Care

Try Murine Eye Remedy. No Smarting-Feels
Fine--Acts Quickly. Try 1t for Red, Weak,
Watery Eyes and Granulated Eyelids Illus
trated Book in each Package. Murine Ia
compounded by our Oculists-not "Patent Med
icine'-but used in successful Physicians' Prac-
lice for many years. Now dedicated to the Pub
lie and sold by Druggists at Csc and 6Oc per Bottle
Murine Eye Salve In Aseptic Tubes, 2bc and Soc
Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
Jiggs-That deaf and dumb woman
Melody Sometimes Becomes MaIady.

Melody Sometimes Becomes Malady.
That persons have very diverse ideas
and tastes in music was exemplified In
an incident at pupils vocal recital
lately. A young woman was having
quite struggle with song and one
woman in the audience said to her
companion:
"Isnt that beautiful melody?"
The other looked bored and said:
"It sounds more IKE malady to
me-"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

It's easier for mother to train up
her son in the way he should go than
It is for her to prevent him from 60
ing some other woman's way few
years later.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
Pertaining TO War.

Have you ever noticed how easy 1t
is to confuse the two words martial
and marital, when one sees them in
print?
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
A Matter of Names.

What is the difference between
pomme de terre and potato?" About
two dollars Harvard Lampoon.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

; Garfield Tea, laxative Of superior quail.
: ityl For those suffering with constipation.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
No wIfe,s Cooking for Them.

Mrs. Crimsonbeak-This paper says
that rarely indeed is wealthy Turk
seen at his wife's dinner table.
Mr.. Crimsonbeak = Yes, under
stand the Turks live long time.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

1t always makes good WHAT Garfield
Tea. the Natural Laxative. composed entirely
of pure, wholesome and healthgivlng herbs.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces iniamma-
ton, allays pain, cures wind collie, Csc bottle.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

A woman can easily win in any
kind of an argument with man If
she knows just when to turn on the
briny flow.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

A jealous woman enables his
Satanic majesty to take a vacation
now and then.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

Many a man hides his wife's coffin
with roses. who never gave her five
dollar bill to do as she pleased with.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

When a mans conscience troubles
him he thinks he has indigestion.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

A woman laughs when she can and
weeps when she will.-Proverb.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
As the Romans Do.

"How long did it take you to do
Rome?" About twice as long as it
took Rome to do us."-Life.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

Every time girl sees a handsome
young man she wonders whose sweet
heart he Is.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

A man is judged by the company
he keeps, and by the cigars he gives
away. ,rr
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

Dickey's Old Reliable Eye-water cures sore
or weak eyes. Don't hurt. Feels good.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

Garfield Tea purifes the blood and clears
the complexion. Drink before retiring.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

Quality quantity is something to con-
slider in purchasing a remedy for constipa-
tion or as a laxative How about Garfield Tea
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

Many a man looks like statesman
who is not guilty.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

A loafer is an animal that feeds on
a workers time.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

A man thinks girl is perfectly
proper who refuses to kiss him-be-
cause he can't think of any other rea-
son why she should refuse.
Health All Important.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05

1t is more sensible to pay serious
attention to the health of the natioi.
than to sing patriotic songs.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1912-07-05
AMERICAN STATE BANK E sSas1s

Resources 81, 500, 900. A guaran-
teed bank under the Kansas Law:
Solicits the accounts of banks and
individuals throughout the south
west. j. N. Richardson. Cashier
The Nome daily nugget., 1912-06-11
OUR CIRCULATION.
NOME, ALASKA, JUNE II. 1912.
FIRE ALARM SIGNALS.

FIRE ALARM SIGNALS. .. Standard od Go. ,. carstsns Cold Storage. ~. John j. sssnon Co. office. lJ. Headquarters Saloon. =. Recorders office. ~. Lawrence hotei. i5. Ere department. q. Discovery Saloon. ae. 4orNeys Cigar Store. tt. Pacific Cold Storage Co, sana.p,,. f- fh'fa Ave. ano Lanes Way.
 Sns,ne House Phone hla,n s1. se.sn Whistles, Water. Thre. Fire ou,