Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1912-02-21
A Singular Bet
BY ALLAN C. LAMoND
Copyright. 1919. by American Press
Association.

/
neither wines, liquors nor cigars. vs.
had brought supply with US.
After every man of the six-the com
mandant didn't play pokershad beer
cleaned out half dozen times, pro
ceeded ION tab and cleaned out every
other man half dozen times. Carter
captain of my company, remarked:
Il offer $40 to any man Of this
Grove who will give me a new sensa.
ton
make tia hundred" said Billy Ken
dali, second Lieutenant of r company,
"and I'll try"
'I'l make it a hundred IL you sue
coed, you to pay me hundred II you
don't"
That's fair; I'll go you once"
"Who's TO decide who winsT asked
| Carter.
"I'll make a more definite PROPOSE
ton" replied Kendall. an bet you
that on or about tomorrow morning /
pull old Toms nose"
Old Tom was the major, thirty-eight
years old, bald, digni8ed, even pomp-
Gus, martinez, and his proper name
was Thomas Ordway.
Great Scott. You'll be court mar
tialed and shot"
"Do you take meT'
81 certainly do. but the money will
do you no good except to pay for your
funeral"
an risk that; put up the funds"
Seabury, captain Of + company, was
made stakeholder, and. he, with the
two first Ileutenants. were appointed
umpires The rest Of the day was
spent In wondering how Kendall was
going to get out Of losing bis bet, for
as to pulling the majors nose one
might as well pull the nose Of the Sec
rotary Of war. the highest official an
officer considers. except the president,
who Is only supposed TO figure in par
dons. But since no one could guess
what Billy was up to. we finally drift
ed into wight ct un and were obliged
to be content with this for the rest of
the day and evening.
up to treat Nose, the majors colored
striker. He found Nose throwing up
his supper OF pork and hard tack. The
next morning Nose remained In bed.
The surgeon could not see. that any
thing was the matter with him, but
Nose persuaded him to report TO the
major that his striker was unable for
the present to perform his duties.
just before guard mounting Kendall
sent an orderly to Captain Seabury TO
say that as soon as the old guard had
marched Off some one OF the umpires
were TO be at Old Toms quarters
ready to observe the pulling Of his
nose.
The major was in bad humor that
morning in consequence OF the alb
sence Of his body servant and being
required to get ready his own bath
and perform other mental duties that
were usually attended to by Nose.
When the umpires heard the tramp OF
the guard that had been twenty-four
hours on duty going to their quarters
all three of them moved. at different
times. so as not TO attract attention,
to headquarters. Near the door they
rallied ON the center and conferred.
II was agreed that Seabury should
make an excuse 10 so in. stay as long
as he could. then come out. to be re-
placed by one of the others. Seabury
entered, asked the major some trivial
question on a matter OF duty and came
out. reporting that the .aaior hsl his
coat OF and his collar unbuttoned.
while Kendall was stropping razor.
In few minutes | went III and came
out 10 report that the major was in
the chair in which Nose usually
shaved him. Kendall was latliering
the commandments face. Here comes
Lieutenant Sykes. who had entered In
his turn laughing and slappiug his
leg.
"what is NJ" asked the others,
crowding around him.
But Sykes was so full of laughter
that he couldn't so on. Finally, when
he recovered somewhat. he said:
"when | went in old Tom said apol-
ogetically. That internal striker OF
mine had TO get sick last night, and
the surgeon reports that he can't
shave me this morning. Mr.. Kendall
has kindly come to the rescue, and
am under an eternal obligation TO him.
What Is Il you wantg
Kendall" Sykes went on. "as soon
as the major had finished speaking
took hold OF old Toms nose with the
forehnger and thumb of his left hand
and, pulling II first TO one side then
10 the other, looked up at me. winked
and began 10 shave the commandant
Carter has lost"
81 believe" said Rrown. "that ras.
cal Kendall bgibed Nose to be sick
Sure enough" chimed In Seahury
LETS 30 and find Carter"
AT Carriers quarters they told the
story, and the captain agreed that the
Joke was worth the stake. In little
while Kendall came In and told how
he had bribed Nose with ten dol
lar bill 10 take an emetic. 10 fool the
surgeon and stay in bed the next
morning. Knowing how old Tor
dreaded to 60 without a shave aEL
couldn't shave himself. Kendall had
bantered him to let him do the job.
Cultivate Kind Voice.
- a