Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1912-10-03
Copyright. 1911. By II. x. Fly Co.

he interested in that man gittin'
where he's goin' to git to-" Noting
that she carried Snoozleums, he said:
l''We're comm into station right
soon" Without further discussion
she handed him the dog, and he hob
bled away
When she reached the women's
door, she found Mrs. Wellington wait
ing with increasing evaporation:
Come, join the line at the box Of
fice," she said.
Good morning. Who's in there?"
said Marjorie, and Mrs. Wellington,
not noting that Mrs. Whitcomb had
come out of her berth and fallen into
line, answered sharply:
Il don't know She's been there
forever. I'm sure it's that cat OF a
Mrs. Whitcomb."
Good morning, Mrs. Mallory"
snapped Mrs. Whitcomb.
Mrs. Wellington was rather proud
that the random shot landed, but Mar
jorie felt most uneasy between the
two tigresses: Good morning, Mrs
Whitcomb," she said. There was a
disagreeable silence, broken finally by
Mrs. Wellington's: "Oh, Mrs. Mallory,
would you be angelic enough to hook
my gown" -.-...
"Of course I WILL" said Marjorie
May hook your" said Mrs. Whit
comb.
You're awfully kind" said Mar
jorie, presenting her shoulders to
Mrs. tWhitcomb, who asked with mali
cious sweetness: why didn't your
husband do this for you this morn
tng%
IL don't remember" Marjorie
stammered, and Mrs. Wellington
tossed over-shoulder an apothegm:
Hes no husband till he's hook-bro-
ken,
Just then Mrs. Fosdick came out OF
her stateroom.' Seeing Mrs. WHIT
combs waist agape, she went at 1t
with brief, Good morning, every
body. Permit me-"
{ Mrs. Wellington twisted her head to
say Good morning" and to ask, Are
you hooked, Mrs. Fosdick?"
mot yet" pouted Mrs. Fosdick.
Turn round and back up" said
Mrs. Wellington. After some maneu-
vering, the women formed a complete
circle, and fingers piled hooks and
eyes in a veritable Ladies' Mutual Aid
Society.
BY now, Wedgewood was ready to
appear in a bathrobe about as gaudy
as the royal standard of Great Brit
ain. He stalked down the aisle, and
answered the male chorus's CHEEKY
"Good morning" with ramlike
f'Baw."
Ira Lathrop felt amiable even to-
ward the foreigner, and he observed:
FGlorious morning this morning"
II dare say" growled Wedgewood.
ri don't go in much for mawnings-
especially when have no tub"
Wellington felt called upon to
squelch him: You Englishmen never
had real tub till we Americans sold
Fem to you"
II dare say" said Wedgewood in
differently. you sell 'em. We use
Fem. But, do you know, I've just
thought out ripping idea. l shall
have my cold bath this mawning after
ALL"
4 ''What are you going to dor
4growled Lathrop. Crawl in the Ice
water tank?"
"Oh, dear, no. I shouldn't be let"
and he produced from his pocket a
rubber hose. II simply attix this lit
tile tube to one end of the spigot and
wave the sprinklah hyah over my
er-my person"
Lathrop stared at him pityingly. and
demanded: what happens to the wa.
ter, them"
What do / carer" said Wedge
wood. r.....
you burned fool, you'd flood the
car"
Wedgewood's high hopes withered.
rT hadn't thought of that" he sighed.
IT suppose / must continue Just as l
am till reach San Francisco. The
first thing l shall order tonight will
Toe four cod tubs and lemon
squash" -4.-t s-zs't t.-~-'
While the men continued to make
themselves presentable in huddle,
the hook-and-eye society at the other
end of the car finished with the four
waists, and Mrs. Fosdick hurried
away to KEEP her tryst In the dining.
car. The three remaining relapsed
anto dreary attitudes. Mrs. yelling
ton shook the knob OF the forbidding
door, and turned to complain: "Wha,
in heavens name ails the creature in
there. She must have fallen out Of
the window"
t1ts outrageous" said Marjorie
''the way women violate women's
rights"
Mrs. Whitcomb saw an opportunity
to insert q stiletto. She observed Il
Marjorie, with an innocent air
why, Mrs. Mallory, I've even known
women to lock themelves in there aRt
smoke!"
While Mrs. Wellington was rum
naging her brain for fitting retort
the door opened, and out stepped Miss
Cattle, as was.
She blushed furiously at sight o
the committee waiting to greet her