Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1912-03-29

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Is VELVET q RAGS ;
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K BY LUE F. VERNON {
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What we need is more patriotism
in our politics and less politics in our
patriotism.
II judges would imprison all the
single men who run in debt for
clothes -
The University of Experience is
the best educational institution to
graduate from.
The greatest nuisance in crowded
thoroughfares of this day and date
are baby carriages.
have observed in my pilgrimage
DER Earth, that the Office that seeks
the man had no salary to it.
Policemen are respectable men. but
they start with the foregone conclu-
sion that every man is thief.
Columbus said the world was round,
And most of US declare
That since his time we've often found
1t anything but square.
Money doesn't always bring hap
piness and peace of mind. Some
times it tempts a man to buy an
automobile.
The tendency of to-day is for most
people to try and live up to the
standard set by those better off than
themselves.
An Olympia man says he likes
Lent because he can save money in
Lent, and when Easter comes he can
have good blowout
An Eastern paper announces that
in future its daily edition will be
printed in ink which will not injure
any meat or butter in which house
wives may wrap it.
An Eastern Washington editor
says: No animal can fight and eat
at the same time" He has evident
ly never seen q traveller at ten.
minutes-for lunch" railway station.
Mr.. Klam (speaking in a some-
what cross tone): This potatoe is
only half done, my dear"
Mrs. Klam answering in affection
ate voice.: Then only eat half of
it, my love"
There's nothing more annoying to
. boy than to follow q fire-engine
half mile up q long bill under the
impression that it's going to . FIRE,
only to find the men are taking the
machine to be repaired.
Mary had little lamb,
Likewise IN oyster stew,
Salad, cake, piece Of pie,
And bottle Of pale brew.
!
Then . few hours later
She had . doctor, too.
| A man ir St. Louis was arrested
TOR starting street fire-alarm, said
he thought he was ringing up
friend on the telephone. The man
needs Missouri's phrase show me"
applied to him. and well rubbed in,
20 to speak.
In my wanderings upon Earth I
have found that the songs one never
tires Of seem to have touch OF sad
ness lurking in the melody, and those
with never . hint OF sorrow, excite
for while, and then leave the indi.
vidual unsatisfied and bored"
"Conine "a powerful and very
poisonous vegetable alkaloid found in
the hemlock and extracted rs q color
less oil, Of strong repulsive odor and
acrid taste" There is nothing to
this except that one " Denis" better
have q care; that's all.
Grandest on this earth
Ha! hal hal
Is steady dose o'mirth.
Hal hal hal
Just you get q desperate hold
On your cares an knock 'em cold
With hearty, merry old
Ha! hal ha!
It has been discovered that the
origin Of the expression, Not worth
q tinker's DAM" was this way: In
olden times the tinkers built little
dams on their work-tables out of soft
clay for temporarily holding the
melted ores used in repairing wares.
Being frail they frequently broke
down. hence the expression: mot
worth . tinker's DAM" That knocks
all the profanity out Of the dam"
but be careful not to use the IN"
when placed in type, or the devil will
got after you.
VIII you believe there is 5 daily
newspaper on Earth which refuses
advertisement Is for theaters? Well,
there is such q newspaper. the Daily
WitRess. published in Montreal, Can
ada. This paper has been published
for more than forty years. and no
ads have ever been inserted for
theaters, saloons or tobacco manu-
facturers; nor is job printing done
for them. No dramatic criticisms or
even announcements ever appear.
Racing results are barred and prize
fights are not described. The de-
moralizing cases in the courts are
only briefly referred to. 1t is known
in Canada as the only daily religious
newspaper in the world. Costing
only one cent q copy, it consists OF
twelve to fourteen good-sized pages.
tho Saturday issue being swelled to
twenty. twenty-four and sometimes
thirty two pages, at the same price.
The strikers of the Lawrence.
Mass, textile workers is ended; the
scrikers gained practically every
point for which they cOntended.
Talking about wages in China;
| uhot dO vo,s kmo~ Ah0Nk the WAGES