The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-10-14


I'll stay up on the shell:
The details Of my dizzy past
I'll keep right to myself.
A PiscatOEaal Adventure.
Two young gentlemen who live near
Hickeyville when they are at home.
have just had very thrilling expe-
rience. one in fact. OF which Baron
Munchausen might have been proud
II it had happened to him. They
were fishing from q canoe In Hard
wood Lake when one Of them felt
tug on the line. 1t felt like one of
the steam tugs. such a. infest the
Chicago River, but Il was not. 1t was
only a muskelonge. but 1t pulled 80
hard that 1t pulled the canoe from
one end Of the lake to the other nine
teen times. The boys had q hard
time hanging on to the pole and they
experienced all Of the delights Of mo-
tor. boating. Their average speed. ac'
cording to innocent bystanders who
watched from the score. was about
As knots per hour. While tearing
down tho lake on the twentieth lap
dragging the canoe and the two
frightened boys behind It.. the musks.
longe forgot to turn and dashed head
foremost up the bank. HIS speed
was SO great that he slid about .
quarter Of a mile down the road
dragging the canoe behind him. Sew
era. farmers came with shotguns and
killed the muskelonge. There are
various estimates as to his weight.
but it was not ascertained as there
are no hay scales in that vicinity.
Caught On the Fly.
Booker T. has decided to remain
silent during this political campaign
which is one OF the very best ways
for anybody who isn't running for
anything to remain.
One idea Of nothing to get excited
about is tho discovery by = traveller
that ice is much cheaper in Green
land than in the United States at this
time of the year.
because she wanted to kiss q railroad
brakeman. AS penalty the court
ought to make her do 1t.
There was a time when the once
sought the man. but that was away
back when people rode high-wheeIed
bicycles and played croquet.
One campaign manager says no
doesn't know how to treat the south
ern delegates. The way to treat any
southern delegate is to ask him what
he will have. i
Another problem in some quarters
is the high cost OF high balls
There seems to be As many vasie- |
ties Of progressives as Of pickles.
But it is doubtful il the franchise /,
would change the outlook generally I
for lady who has . wart on her |
nose.
The co-eds in an eastern univer- /
sity say they are not going to dirt i
any more. Probably. however, they |
will firt just as much.
When q man losses his hat into the .
ring nowadays he needs to have his
initials in it to be sure to get 1t back.
A faunal scientist says the bull
moose has a very even temper. Mad
all the time. |
A photographer who can't make /
homely woman look beautiful might
Just as well get Job on the section
gang or driving = hack.
The Colonel is about the best ad-
vetrisement the dental profession ever
had.
Bring I'D a child In the way he
should go and when 1t Is old he will
make up for lost time and marry
a chorus girl
Anybody can get along without
money until he Is thirty and then he
is used to it.
Tooth Etiquette.
Do not take the teeth out and pol
ish them during q banquet. This Is
not done in the best circles.
Do not carry the teeth In the tai
pocket of your dress suit. for you are
liable to sit down on them and be
severely bitten
When you have to sneeze or cough
go away by yourself in q dark cor
ner and hold your hand over your
mouth You can never tell what Win
happen.
If the teeth click when you talk
o;r thar, Fpeo.ept1y for noisy teeth 1