The Washington herald., 1912-11-24

\ statesman In the nation divests himsel
OF every semblance of intellect and orig
inality when he sits down to dictate ;
telegram on the morning after the elec
| tion-a telegram which he knows vii
| inevitably be given to the press? ask
| Edgar Allen Forbes in the New Yorl
World. Why can't he say something
different from what might be expected II
q telegram from an institution for In
ebriates and imbeciles.
congratulate you upon your
election, and wish you the fullest
measure Of success throughout your
administration
Anything in that worth paying two
| cents a word for except the signature
which is free? Has IL not been passed
along since that notable day in lis
| when the first President Of the United
States began to figure out how much he
would probably save out OF the salary?
And when John Adams came out oi
the scramble eight years later with two
votes more than Jefferson. the message
sent by the great Thomas J. to the win
ner probably was this:
Il cordially congratulate you on
your election, and extend to you my
best wishes for q successful admin
istration.'
And when in 1894 Andy jackson swept
TIC chlAu Win one J. " ADAMS, IL WIS
up to John Quincy to sit down with pen
in hand and write after his fashion:
Congratulations both on your per-
sonal victory and on the fact that
you Will have a House and Senate
to support the policies OF your ad-
minlstration-''
Fortunate It is for Woodrow Wilson
that he is both a student and a writer
Of American history. II saves a lot of
eNWrUM 1NrVk.W
In the reading of his kilograms of con-
graduation. Knowing the mental pro-
cesses Of statesmen throughout all the
changing dynasties in the history of the
republic he need only glance at the sig
nature and pass the message to his sec
retary with the remark: Send Answer
No. to him
Some Exceptions.
have taken the pains to spread cut
before me the kilograms to Gov.
Wilson from all sorts and conditions of
men high up in the political and business
life of the nation. and It has been rare
sport to read them over. one by one.
In the effort to find some message that
departed from the perfunctory.
In this particular collection 1 have
found three.
The first is from Senator Gore Of Ok
lahoma:
Il congratulate you. and I congratu-
late the country. We must prove that
the Democracy deserves this vote of con-
fidence. this splendid triumph
That was a telegram worth sending
prepaid, and II was worth while to pass
1t along to the people through the news
papers. There is a ring Of sincerity
about II that is different from the tone
of Wishing you a Merry Christina s
and a Happy New Year.
Then comes Gov. Foss. of Massa-
chusetts who does not carr for the eX-
pense when 1t comes to using the wire.
CHe gets even with the telegraph COM
pany by using long words. for which
they are not allowed to charge more
than for monosyIlables) But the Gov
ernor really says something:
Hearty congratulations on your vote.
II is the most remarkable tribute ever
PAID to an American public official. IL is
also an Endorsement of the Democratic
platform. Its magnitude shows unmis-
takably that the people of the entire
country believe In you and look for con-
structive statesmanship."
But when It comes to kilograms that
hit the bull's-eye squarely in the center,
Miss May Irwin. the actress. walks away
with the sharp shooters medal. She
didn't say much-but II sounds good after
all the stereotyped phrases to hear her
say:
God bless you! We have needed you
for long time"
Real Sentiments.
What an uproarious time We should
have on the morning after-we, the great
American pubiic-if our statesmen would
only get the habit of stringing their real
he faIa nh xa.fr haN
run to the successful candidates peaceful
firesidel II the resulting messages were
gwen to the press and wisely distributed
different editions the clamOr
for papers on election day would be a low
in comparison with the insistent
howl for them on the day after.
The first edition might read somewhat
like this:
Gov. Wilson: l have never admired
your politics. but II is some satisfaction
to know that I shall not have to ride
down Pennsylvania Avenue with T. r.
TAFT"
And to this frank outburst Of confidence
the man from Princeton might reply in
such terms as these:
President Taft: Same to you. I don't
like politics OF any kind. 1t is pleasure
that a great campaign can be
in a gentlemanly way and in
the best of humor. WILSON"
OF course the operator over at Oyster
Bay had been cutting In during this cleo
trical conversation. Before the last period
would be finished something like this
would be buzzing toward Princeton:
Wilson: Didn't we have a bully time?
Let's get the reporters of in some Sc
cluded place and tell one another about
t. TR"
And this would be headed toward
"Bill: Now you see! Four years ago I
made you President. Look what the I
oe ople did to you when the Big Stick
vas not around! TEDDY
When these messages reached the
Iewspaper Offices they would not be set
Ip in subnormal type. as kilograms |!
Usually are, but would be displayed in !
ctters specially constructed for the oc- |
;asion.
Then This Batch.
BY the time 100000 copies Of
the first edition had been sold the, sec |
ond would come along with such greet |
Ings as these:
''Hnles: 1 did it with my little
hatchet! r. R."