The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-05-31
She
Really Meant

likes to talk. why the business o.
being an interpreter doesn't flourish
nowadays. I'm thinking of starting
out in it myself and I'm sure I'd make
large income. don't mean inter
preting foreign languages. but jus,
plain English.
Il have learned through painful
/ years of humping my Uranium against
stone walls and yearn to take under
my wing all the poor. bewildered NOR.
tails who still think the words people
use express what they mean. want
to pat them on the back soothingly
| and murmur There! There and
then explain to them that DO you like
pink chickens?' really means. we
came on the 10 o'clock train
For instance. Mrs. Gamboge calls
you up over the phone some morning
and says, My dear. we're having a
few people in to cards tonight and
want YOU to come just got it up
on the spur of the moment-it's only
a little informal affair Oh. most in
formal. my dear. assure you! Just
a few friends. So glad you can come!
Go-o-od-by'
give seen the time when I'd have
dismissed the matter until just be.
| fore time to Dress when would not
have even glanced at the shelf carry.
ing my party gowns in boxes, but
would have picked out some high
necked thing. Probably I'd have just
worn my hair as ! ordinarily do and
would have taken a street car to get
TO the scene Of the festivities But
not now!
'T have grown wiser. I know that
the English language does not mean
what it IS made to say. So spend
all my time after luncheon preparing
to go to Mrs Gamboge's informal lit
tie affair have my hair dressed and
my face massaged, and | get an extra
manicure. and I have all my clothes
under inspection. and l pick out al.
most my very best gown Then l
borrow mothers Paris evening wrap
| and phone for taxi and wait five
minutes in the crush at the door be.
fore can even get in There will be
4 Hungarian band playing under the
stairs and the whole place will be
simply broken out with caterers men
who pass you along from one to the
other solemnly, trying to act as
though they had butlered and foot
named in that one spot for several
decakcs, as had their fathers before
them.
by this time I wish had borrowed
mothers diamond tiara. because I be
gin to feel kind of plain In only 9
satin and crystal gown and string
Of pearls. There will be four course
supper and American beauty roses
bursting out from all corners.
1T is really maddening to think
what unlimited money and a telephone
will do nowadays. II seems to me that
they take away all the fun of giving a
party all the worry being removed
These rich women do not have tC
count their napkins and say. My good
ness! I'll have to borrow Cousin Nell's
best ones to fill OUT They do not dis
cover that they haven't enough forks
and that the spare room hasn't beer
busted. All they do Is phone caterer
and a florist and tell Mary to be sure
to see that she dusts extra we'll down
stairs. Then they can 30 to a lun
cheon and two teas and make few
calls and when they arrive home a
dinner time they say. Dear me! L,
almost forgotten that have a care
party tonight
"The only difference when It Is con
sidered formal affair IL that you re
an engraved old English card ten day
In advance
"Then when you drop In to see
friend and she keeps you waiting hal
an hour before she comes down. an
you say. I hope l didn't disturb or II
terrupt.' and she murmurs sweet,
p Not at all. my dear! was Just hool
Ing my collar. and I am 90 slow abou
doing things!' you would realize. II 20
had an Interpreter at hand. that Oh
meant that she was up In the thir
floor sewing room working like ma
with seamstress making over clothe
! and hadn't brushed her hair since Oh
had twisted It into knob on arisln
and had on . kimono thing and oil
slippers. Also that she said whe
your card came up. Now. what q
I earth did she come today Of all da,
r for. I'd like to know! Isn't It Provo
: ing!'
my helping hand would be Of ben
NJ also to prosy and boresome an
y spoiled old bachelors when a swe,
A young thing Of 20 leans over and lool
u into their eyes and beseeches. DO t.
g, me all about how you make ire
beams! | am 5000 interested,
. must be such fascinating business
n What she really means Ia TT I r.,