davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21
Way to Handle Them.

The divorce court was grinding.
"All ladies who married on a bet or
q dare or for a joke will stand up"
announced the clerk.
They lined up.
Your applications are denied. Now
the regular cases will be heard"
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21
Courteous Appreciation.

Il don't see why Bliggins goes out
and buys his wife expensive presents
every time she refuses to speak to
him.
HIM" unused Miss Cayenne: don't
you think the man ought to do some.
thing to show his gratitude?"
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

There is no foundation for the ru-
NOR that landlords Of apartment
buildings intend Aenceforth to EN-.
ploy Eskimos as janitors.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

A German savant has discovered
that German sausage Is loaded with
microbes. Kind Of a horse on the
consumer.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

A hydroaeroplane has been sue
cessfully~employed to save drown
ing man Drowning men will GRASP
at aeroplanes.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

A Pennsylvania man was stung to
death by honey bees. Another rea-
son why the English stingless variety
should be imported
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

Aviator Reid says that hydroplanes
are safer than aeroplanes Probably
because one always lands in water
instead of on the hard ground.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

A Brooklyn mans wife has eighteen
rocking chairs. and probably all
placed where they'll do the most
harm.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

Women Of a Kansas city have or
gained a club to prevent their hus-
bands from gambling. Must be q
bridge club
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21
Too Young to Be Thrifty.

TOO Young 70 30 IhrHty.
"Oh, George, baby's had an awful
time! Instead of dropping those pen
MES you gave him in the tin bank he
dropped them down his throat. All
the neighbors came over, and DR.. Do
sem and DR.. Drastic were here. and
you never saw such excitement!
What do you suppose made him do
IT."
why, suppose he preferred hu-
man interest to bank interest"
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

THE human stomach" says Dr.
Woods Hutchinson" is geared for q
continuous performance" The human
:pocketbook however Is not.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

We have heard of many mean men.
but the meanest was the Geneva me-
chanic who rescued a woman from
drowning, only to throw her back into
the stream when he found out he'd
saved his motherin-law
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

The government is about to investi-
gate the plague of rats. Swat the
fly, circumvert the willy rat. II pos
sible. The cost of feeding him. and
his damage to property. are enormous.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21
Cooks Day or.

Mistress binding jer cooks young
man in the kitchen)-What are you
doing here and where is Lena?
Young Man-It's her Cay out; she's
gone to town.
Mistress-Well, and you?
Young Man-Oh, thought I'd stay
at home.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

Recent investigations bring to light
the fact that 1t Is only during the
last hundred years that men have
been wearing trousers. From present
styles. women may be following their
example In another century.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

Aged horse was retired by It's own
er, but pinned away until allowed to
60 back to work And yet they speak
Of horse sense"
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21
Not Hard.

Not Hard.
do you expect me to be In two
places at once?"
That's not hard. II you were a
New York fugitive from justice. you
could easily be in TO-"
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

A man can live to be one hundred
and twenty-five years old. says an au-
thority. Perhaps he can, but there
aren't very many Of them that do.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

Burglars entered the Office Of q
New York dentist and made away
with eighteen sets of false teeth. That
ought to give the victims something
to chew on.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

Any man who succeeded In forget
ting to have his hay fever can just
as easily forget to have his custom
airy attack OF grip or pneumonia.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

A Winsted. Conn. man Is obliged
to play a cornet in order to keep the
deer out OF his orchard. Speaking of
fish stories. didn't Connecticut invent
the wooden nutmeg?
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

kissing on railroad trains has been
forbidden in Bavaria Are there nc
tunnels in Bavaria?
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21
The Main One,

What do you think of the possible
cuts in beef"
There is only one cut In : meat
which concerns me just now"
What is IT."
THE way it has cut my acQuain-
lance"
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

A New York paper has succeeded In
glafting a crabapple on to grape
vine. Wonder II 1t has seeds or q
core.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

A Leeds cleric advocates counting
In his church. In this respect. Leeds
leads
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

An eastern Judge has declared q
safety razor a dangerous weapon. Bet
he tried to shave with one
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

Counterfeiters are making $40 bills
for even a perfectly good 800 bill
continues to involve suspicious.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21
The St. Mary Banner
PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY
FRANKLIN. LOUISIANA

That unamiable old DOGGY. the an
nual shortage Of coal. is with US again.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

Another ray Of sunshine for the
consumer: HOLSTERS on the hoof are
no higher this year than last.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

Street gas lamps were first useo
In 1907 And some of them haven't
been replaced.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21
Ringing the Bell.

This rather clever little thought
We captured on the wing;
A pretty girl Is called belle
Because she's maid to ring.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

One of the huge German dir;gibles
blew up, but. strange to say. none was
injured. 1t happened In the hangar.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

During 1911. New York burned more
than 100000 tons OF hard coal. Nc
wonder 1t Is a hot old town.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21
Tho Honest Man.

Are you looking for work."
mo. sir; I'm looking for money.
but I'm willing to work because that's
the only way l can get it"
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

People who talk the baseball Ian
guage will now give the Esperantists
q chance.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

Baltimore is predicting a lobster
famine. Only In the edible variety.
though.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21
His Own Words.

us Rigby a man of eulture?"
"Oh, yes indeed. You just ought to
hear him say, I'm strong TOR music
and the drammer'
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21
Going Up.

Real estate took 8. sudden jump II
our neighborhood yesterday"
What made 1t rise?"
"A gas pipe In the street blew up.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

She-He's very close.
He-Yes; he reminds me of an ex-
pensive umbrella.
She-How SO?
He-He's tight role.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

What makes you think he's got
money!"
We'll, they couldn't prove by his
books where the money went"
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21
A Dreadful Shock.

! The waiter bowed and sweetly smiled.
Just at the proper time;
| But soon his look was rather wild
He only got q dime.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

First Boarder latter supper)-Great
heavens. this is the second time to-
day that we've had sausage
Second Boarder-That's all right
This is grounding day.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1912-12-21

McCANE'S DETECTIVE AGENCY
Houston, Texas, operates the largest force o.
competent detectives in the South; they render
written opinions in cases not handled BY them
Reasonable rates.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1912-07-15
A Post MOrtem
Held on the Body of Mrs
Roach and Her Seven
Small Children.
BUGACIDE DID IT.

There is no question that Bugacde
did up Mrs. Roach and her seven
small children. The United Order of
Water Bugs, Council No. COZ, have
passed resolutions denouncing Fahey,
the man that makes Bugacide, but
Fahey keeps right on making it for
he knows that 1t is the best thing on
the market to rid a house of insect
vermin
Bugacide is death on bed bugs, car
pet bugs, moths, hen lice, sheep tick
and other pests. Its odor is not nu-
pleasant and il will not harm gar
ments, carpets, bed cloths, furniture,
covering. tapestries, etc. Bugacide
powder Is death on black and red
ants, cock reaches and water bugs.
The Massachusetts state prison and
Albany penitentiary, recommended
the use of these preparations. Drug
gsts and grocers (the live ones) sell
them. They are authorized and or
dered to return the purchase price
which is 25c, when they fail to sat
isfy your fondest hopes.
For complete determination of any
kind of bugs in public buildings and
institutions, hotels, apartment houses
and private dwellings, wire phone
or write L. F. Fahey, Pittsfeld Mass
Your money is yours always until you
are positively satisfied there is not a
bug, nest or egg left.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1912-07-15
Teach Them How to Swim.

Hot weather, plus desire TO get
cool, plus a body of water often re-
suits in a drowning accident. There
are other combinations which have
for their result the undertaken and
the grave. Carelessness, the failure
to observe rules of health, such as not
entering the water when overheated
and many other causes, enter in to
help swell the mortality rate from
drowning. And these are just the
kind of days that make accidents of
this nature most apt to occur. In
little Vermont there was goodly
grist of such deaths last Sunday, the
day when there is the most leisure,
and more opportunity to enter the
water.
OF course it is out of the range of
the possible so to direct human &C
tions that there will be no drowning
affairs, but it is well within the range
of the possible to cut down the num-
Der. 1t is the duty of every parent to
impress upon the boy or girl the dan
gers that exist in the cool depths. II
is also the parents duty to see to it
that, whenever it is possible, his boys
and girls are taught how to swim, for
it is a lesson that in after years will
never be regretted. Then it should
be taught TO the youngsters that
there are times when it is unsafe to
enter the water and the lesson should
be firmly impressed upon them. In
these and other ways may the sad
tales that are too frequent in the
newspapers of the land become fewer
st. Adams Messenger.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1912-07-15
Colonial Illiteracy.

llliteracy in this country in Colonial
days is a subject discussed in an his
torical bulletin soon TO be issued for
free distribution by the United States
Bureau of Education. The data were
gathered by an examination of sigma
lures to the extant legal and other
documents of Colonial days, for the
purpose of ascertaining the number
of signers who had TO make their
marks. While the data are not alto
gether conclusive they seem TO indi-
cate that Massachusetts occupied the
most advanced educational position in
the seventeenth century. while Virgi-
MIA brings up the rear The Dutch
of New York and the Germans of
Pennsylvania occupy middle positions
These are all the colonies for which
data have been compiled in the Bur
eau of Education's bulletin.
The monograph says. in part:
AT Albany of 800 mems names ex-
amined, covering the years from 1854
to 1875, u per cent made their marks.
OF 23l mems signatures at Flatbush,
covering a longer period, 10 per cent
made their marks. OF the German
male immigrants above Is years of
age who came to Pennsylvania in the
first half of the eighteenth century,
11,S23 names have been counted, with
the result of 26 per cent who made
their marks.
"A significant result appeared from
our study of illiteracy. namely that
the male Dutch inhabitants of Flat.
bush made continuous improvement
in this respect, the percentage of ILL.
teracy decreasing gradually from 40
per cent in 1876 to about per cent in
1888"
A most painstaking count of the
seventeenth century Nirginians indi-
Gates that of 2,165 male adults who
signed jury lists, 46 per cent made
their marks; and of l2445 male adults
who signed deeds and dispositions, 40
per cent made their marks.
In the case of the Dutch women
fewer names were collected and the
showing was not so good" or the l54
signatures of Dutch women in New
York which were available. an Hitter
acy of 60 per cent was indicated. OF
S,066 women signing deeds and depos-
itions in Virginia, rs per cent made
their marks.-Burlington News.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1912-07-15

Memories of incidents connected
with the administration of the old
prohibitory law in Vermont are re-
called by the hearing being held at
the present time in an investigation
of the workings of the dispensary
law in the state of South Carolina
Charges of wholesale graft in the
purchase of liquors are made. high
officials are accused of protecting IL
legal saloons and even of selling par
dons Opponents of the present Ii
cense law in this state, however,
much they may oppose the principle
upon which il is based. cannot but
concede that the existing statute has
improved conditions in one respect.
In a great measure il has severed
the illegal connection that in many
cases existed between the traffic in
intoxicating liquor and the officials
who were elected to enforce the
laws anu cary OuI ITO PiO'iNi"AS' nv
license law accomplished this much,
not because it put new souls into
men who were capable of accepting
protection money from an Illegal ven
dor or of taking a rake off" from
the agent OF a wholesale house, but
because it abolished the opportuni-
ties for petty graft that existed un-
der the prohibitory law. II has been
a case of putting temptation where
some people couldn't get TO it.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1912-07-15
PILES DEFY THE KNIFE

The Cause Of Their Formation Still
Remains
One place where surgery fails to
bring permanent relief is in the treat
ment OF piles. because even when the
evil tumors are cut away, the cause Of
their formation still remains. That
cause Is poor circulation. DR.. Leon
hardt's HEM-ROID is the tablet rem.
edy that is taken inwardly and gets
right to the inside cause.
HEM-ROID is sold for 81 by w. L.
Gokay. Bennington, VT. and all drug
gists. Money back II II falls. DR.. Le-
onhardt Co., Station B. Buffalo. N. Y.
Write for booklet.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1912-07-15
TRoTTERs AS FARM HORSES
Hambletonian Stock Holds It's Own
in the Work Horses

IN the work Horses
To the Editor of The Banner:-A
writer in the Country Gentleman"
has the following to say in regard
to the trottingbr or Hambletonian
horse. H. Leigh Hunt has a very
good article about the Morgan horse
don't believe any one can dispute
him in any respect regarding the
Morgan, as / have owned them and
found them as he claims and outside
of their size they are good all round
utility horses. But without any dis
respect, must differ from his views
of the trotting-bred or Hambletonian
horse
| lived for some time in the vicin-
ity of old Stonyford, the home of old
Hambletonian 10 and owned and saw
his descendants both pure blooded
and mixed and found them excellent
as farm or general utility horses.
owned mare sired by a son of old
Administrator. son of Hambleton-
ian 10, her dam a pure bred Messen-
ger, that was the most powerful
horse | ever saw. She weighed about
HOO pounds and was good for ten
or twelve miles an hour on the road
as long as the best of them, regard
less of size or breeding.
| | saw George w. sired by o waso
a son of Administrator, perform the
duties of farm horse to perfection
till he had passed eight years and
/ with training took a record of 2:22
| saw other colts sired by sons OF
Hambletonian 0, and their descend.
ants do as well, and they were all
model work horses, powerful, quick
and intelligent. | saw Jim Dunn
2:24, and Screwdriver 2:19A, race in
Nebraska and after the race 20 into
collar and work harness and output
any team on the grounds. AS a team
they weighed about 5000.
Kitty Story 2:16A got a good deal
of her spring training ahead of a
plough. She was raised and develop.
ed about ten miles from this point
! saw colts sired by Mountain Prince
a son of Clark's Chief and a sire him
self of five or six, in the list, Legene,
2:l2E, Midway Prince. PIP, and
others, and they were model work
| horses.
If this is not satisfactory evidence,
can, any day, take the gentleman
right here and show him colts sired
by kasco, a son of Mckinney, the
| leader among 2:10 performers, that
are wearing a farm harness with as
much grace and ease as any horse in
the world. In short my experience
and observations of the trotting bred
horse is that if his individuality is
good he makes, broken to farm work
as good as the best and a great deal
better than most and for our noun
tains. hills and rough roads, he is
preferable to the larger breeds, as he
is more active and better balanced
animal than the larger horse.
for one am bemoaning the extinc-
ton of our native bred horses on ac-
count of their vitality. intelligence,
reading qualities, and various other
good points.
]. L. Toilette
Greene Co N Y
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1912-07-15

The broadening OF the Wilmington
and Hoosac Tunnel railway from mar
row to standard guage has started a
rumor that the road is to be extend
ed to Brattleboro. The gap between
Wilmington and BrattlebOro is a
short one and the linking Of the two
towns would have a tendency to in
crease communication between the
people OF the communities in south
ern Vermont separated by the high
mountain range and at present com
PEELED to take a roundabout course
in order to reach each other With
such a road in existence the Brat
tleboro baseball team might be in
duced TO travel as far away from
home as Bennington. what
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1912-07-15
An Initial Democratic StrategicaI
Error

The Brooklyn Eagle, democratic al
ways but far-seeing. has scented dan
ger to the democratic hope of elect.
ing a president in the free trade
plank of the Baltimore platform as II
sounds a note of warning and father
ly advice, as follows:
Another tariff law cannot be
passed until the next administration.
When any that can be passed which
will avert disaster and conduCe to a
long lease of power must be one TO
reassure and must consult interests
as well as rights end take business,
labcr. capital and wage into practical
as well as ethical account. For
which reason alike for the present
and the future we hope that Mr.. Will
son will decline with thanks the well
meant but extra hazardous invi .ation
of MIR. Underwood to make himself
| q thirteenth juror on the committed
Of ways and means. The next con
6ress can better bring to Woodrow
! Wilson as president the question and
! the methods and the measure of tar
| in legislation than the democratic
nominee can now wisely anticipate
| his own course On that or any Other
subject"
I ne democratic nominee for the
presidency, Wc,diow Wilson, in al
| interview that has rot been denied
and which took pace since his nomi
nation, has declared that he viii car
ry tariff reform as a necessity oil
| lowering the gil cost of living into
the campaign as its greatest issue
The democratic Platform, written OF
dictated by Bryan whose part Ii the
Baltimore con- eIltiCn made Wilson S
nomination possible, has determined
that democratic campaigning shall
urge "a tariff ior revenue only
! There is no doubc about the language
nor is there any doubt that it voices
the war cry THAI the democratic con
ention intended Either the mill
tant nominee must so ahead alo = the
course the Bryan. dominated coavcr-
ton laid down fer him or he must
takke the hazardous alternative OF
remaking the platform.
The esteemed Brooklyn Eagle
plainly would like to see the tariit
subordnaaed in The presidential con
test and indeed, Lothing could be
safer for the democratic party. But
tie party ami it's nominee have al
ready begun forcing that subject as
the leading issue and in the absence
OF other important issues, it can not
be recalled.
From the democratic standpoint it
is an initial strategical error, hut
from the republican standpoint il
carries the fight upon ground where
republicans can fight best.
The Brooklyn Eagles note OF warn
ing has come too late.-Rutland
News.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1912-07-15

Vermont will share in the divis-
ion of laurel wreaths to be awarded
the victors in the Olympic games at
Stockholm. A. L. Gutterson, the
University of Vermont athlete, was
not only the winner in the running
broad jump but he broke the Olym-
pic record with his leap of "a feet
and IL inches. In addition Gutter
sons superiority over the jumpers
of all nations entered in this partic-
ular event was one of the pronounc-
ed features of the games. The Yer
mont man jumped but once. None
of the other competitors could reach
the mark made by Gutterson on his
first attempt and there was nothing
else to do but to award him the vic
tory.