The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1912-01-19
~ ESTHER GRIFFIN WHITE.


But it is not etiquette" said the
foreigner.
He referred to the fact that a com
munication he had addressed to a GER
tain distinguished man in this coun
try had had no acknowledgement.
A compatriot of the latter tried to
explain-to smooth it over. The dis
tinguished man. the compatriot said
was careless, regardless, bored.
He was beset by his admirers. by
toadies. by sycophants. by the uncou
the importunate, the collector.
He didn't intend to be rude, discour
teous.
1t was merely his little way"
He was excused by everyone.
The foreigner listened politely
with that deferential detachment found
only in the continental of a certain
class, and then said
But it is not etiquette"
There Is nothing to be gained by
sneering at the politenesses of life
Americans may be gOOd-hearted but
they are notoriously lacking in atten
tion to those rules of courtesy which
govern social life and which, incon
siderable in themselves. make up the
sum of much comfort or discomfor,
and. indeed, happiness or unhappiness
Stop and think-how many of youl
Christmas presents have you acknOwl
edged? Did you sit down the day af
telV or at some convenient time, anC
to your friends and acquaintance fol
the gift, however insignificant or tri
vial the latter may have been?
Or, if you have not written, did yol
. take the trouble to thank them il
person the first time you happened tt
see them after?
II not then you must be ranked will
the regardless and. in the minds O.
those who have Il knowledge of the
amenities of social intercourse. witt
the ignorant and hncou-those 'wht
don't know any better"
No matter how little you care fo1
social fOrmality or how unimportan
you think convention. an attention tt
etiquette" as the foreigner terms it
only shows true courtesy Of heart
whether ingrained by custom or from
nature impulse.
Nothing is more charming than {
well hammered child.
Who shows his training by an out
ward manifestation. Even If the chilt
has an ugly disposition which canno
be controlled If it is softened by goot
manners. society is ameliorated tina
much.
The average person in this country
Is apt to jeer at the foreigner Of th<
better class and say that his manners
and his manner. are both a veneer. Al
for me-"give me the true heart"
The true heart" in fact. is so noto
riously absent in the average human
that the moral hiatus needs filler
And a true heart" is. ten to one. &C
companied by a natural courtesy tina
takes the place of acquired social &C
complishments.
This is the rare thing, however. W.
are all more or less savages and barba
rians and without training or school
ing will run amuck socially.
There are certain rules and regl
lations," social "unwritten law" tina
obtain the world over among civilize,
peoples. These should be inculcated il
every child. no matter how modest tn
position into which he is born.
One Of these is that courtesy whicl
the younger owe the older. This is tn
day Of the snippy young thing. Sh'
never rises when her elders come int
the room. She never apologies 70
walking in front Of her mother o
grandmother. She never asks pardon
for thousand and one little inadvert
ences which give pain and make dis
comfort
She whispers and giggles and tee
hees and punches her companions ey
erytime she sees anything or anybod
that doesn't measure up to her crud
social standards. She laughs loudl
and self-consciously on the stree,
thinking thus to show her sophistica
ton but only betraying her sillines
and lack of knowledge of the proprie
ties.
But it is in the matter of epistolar.
etiquette that Americans are especial
ly deficient.
| In the division of their social an,
business correspondence there is littl
attention to either form or material
The foreigner never fails to make thi
distinction. Both in quality, size AM
color of paper, the address and the le,
tering. You never fnd anything print
ed where it should be engraved o
written.
There is a story OF business ma
who took a letter addressed to himsel
beginning My dear Mr. Blank" t
/ his secretary and asked if he didn'