Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-02-29
GEORGES BODY SERVANTS.

bODY SERVANTS.
Washington, Feb. 4.-Dear Editor.
There is one unique institution
IN Washington. and ! must speak of 1t
briefly or explode The institution re-
ferred to is George W~ashington's per
sOnal body servant He is a numerous
n ubiquitous institution and can be
round IN the most surprising walks of
life. The first one l discovered was
running n elevator in our hotel.
He Is the only surviving body SER
want of George Washington. 1t is UNI
necessary to prove it on him. for he is
perfectly willing to admit it. There
are believed to be but SO or 100 other
only surviving body servants of George
Washington i'm this city, but they are
said to be scattered about through 9TH
er portions of the south quite discrim-
inately. 1 have met 20 or 20 only sur
vlvlng body servants, and l have been
here only a short time, and will prob
able meet the rest of them before I
leave. George Washington must have
of body servants.
AS l hav stated. the first personal
body servant of George Washington I
met was running the elevator in our
hotel. He told us about it while we
We're going from the first floor to the
second. Personal body servants of the
late George Washington lose no time.
We sighed deeply and handed him 81
in grateful appreciation of services rem
dered the truthful George. There may
be something in environment but none
OF Georges we'll known truthfulness
ever soaked into any of his body SER
wants. The body servant running the
elevator looked to be about 40 years
old.
Whats your Nance" we asked, a
fiendis Sherlock Holmes idea having
L nanpfr1fad nllT dome nf thn,obt
Abraham Lincoln JONES'" he replied,
with a face as innocent OF guile as that
of a standpat congressman making a
speech in his home district.
"Ah. ha! If you are old enough to
have been George Washington's body
servant % could your name be Abra-
ham Lincoln?"
Well, boss. you see it's dis yere way.
l 'herited it from my fathah and he
herited it from my grandfather. so l
toms body servant. My fathah done
tole me so. My gran'fathah he thought
of it first and held de job till he die,
den he turn it over to my fathall am he
turn it over to me. My son will be de
personal body servant of Marse Wash
ington in a few yeahs now"
There was no argument to be used
against that. 1t runs in the family like
cauliaower ears, pug noses or wooden
legs. and the only thing to do is to hand
over the price. When We see a per-
sonal body servant of George Wash
ington loom up on the horizon now we
simply dig n ask no questions.
The Washington monument is 555
feet in height. The top of this monu-
ment is the only point in Washington
from which it is possible to overlook
the sins of the United States Senate.
You get to the top of the
by means of an elevator. and you can
come down any way you want. If you
are in a hurry it is better to jump, for
by doing so o can get back to
Washington in an theoretically short
space of time. From the top Of the
monument an ordinary citizen on the
grounds looks to be about as small as
a flea. Some of the statesmen look a
good deal smaller than that, especially
since the recent election.
The monument Is heated by steam
and lighted by electricity inside, but l
would not care to use it as a place Of
residence. The ceiling is too high, and
1T requires a lot of wall paper to cover
it in the spring. The monument is
about 80 feet square at the bottom, and
is sharp at the top. They probably
sharpened it at the top 20 that no loaf
ers would sit on it. I am going up
again tomorrow to see if i can reach
the high cost of living. 1t doesn't cost
anything in the elevator. and lots of
people go just for the ride.
A GREENHORN IN WASHINGTON
Washington, Feb. 6.-Dear Editor:
Washington is singularly blessed as
to ON sees a monumen
every time he turns around.
There may be a doubt in some in
stances as to the identity of the
gentleman made immortal i'm bronze,
but there is never the slightest doubt
as to the statue to the city. Here is
a sample tablet marking a statue:
STATUE OF GENERAL JONES.