The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-03-02
IONA was inthroiooced he asked. What nams?'

an me had give ache other tn high sign iv two
men in akel station iv life, ye'd stick out yeer
fist at him an say, PLACED to meet ye.' If We
did I'd have to throw ye into tn sthreet. l wud
Whin free born American citizen meets
king or amy iv his family tn idee is he must
duck deep he without losin' his bal
an buttin tn rile parsonage in tn stomach
How far he'll go over depinds on his build.
iv my shape wud be required to do no more
thin sink his chin into his collar till it hurt But
a little thin fellow like ye'ersilf must bend
till his back is all but broke. An we mustn't open
yeer mouth, mind ye, or yell be thrun out, onless
tn king asks we to. If he taps we on tn shoulder
an says, Say somethin, man. ye can cut
loose till he shoves we away.
9TH exercise with American ladies is more
severe Whin an American lady is up against
riety tits entirely proper FIR her to swoon away.
Nanny have done so, but It's not often prac-
tised because iv its inconvenience. TIL fright
an conservative thing FIR her to do is to pretnd
to suddenly lose her left leg an sink as near to
tn hure as possible without fallin'. She can't
have amy outside assistance. If she grabs holt
iv chair she's out. It's up to her to detarmine
what her strenth will stand. If her ilety is
gr-reater thin her agility she's in FIR bump On
tn other hand, if she don't go down deep
she can without breakn somethin she need
niver come ar-round again / see that wan New
York lady has practiced this manoover in gym
nasyum till she dhrop tn left knee to TIL
fure hundred an forty-6ve times without
1osin' button. Nv course it won stop here. TIL
king iv England himsilf is comm to this country
next year, an us Americans ARE too devoted to
tn throne to nglict amy exertion, no matther
how dangerous, to show how we feel. A mere
ginufexion may be good enough FIR jock, but
whin tn rale article arrives we'll show him what
young an active people can do in these here
gymnastics. l expict to r-read in tn pa-apers
this spring: Mrs. Solder-Jint wife iv tn we'll
known (wholesale) plumber, is practising hand
spring which she will do wi1in PRESENTED to his
majesty. Mrs. Lottson will rely on her cilly-
brated crouch an spring. Mrs Van Rhinestone
will do head-spin' But tn ladies iv tn older
arrystocracy will probbly stick to tn simple Gus
toms iv their ancestors an go by his majesty
their hands an knees
wondher how it's all goin' to come out.
Hinnissy. Since tn news got around iY how WEI
we threat kings in this country ivry potntate
in tn wurruld is gettin' r-ready to come
here on a spree. Suppose tn king Nv Beoochys-
tan shrd take it into his head to pay us visit.
If Hogan is ten me tn thruth tn on'y way
We can approach this here monarch is be wrig-
Gin up on ye'er stomach. An we'd have to do
It or maybe he'd niver come back"
They ought to be ashamed iv thimsives,"
said Mr.. Hennessy.
Sure, what difference does it make" said
Mr. Dooley. Doc LarlSin says it's good fr
thin Says he: If they do it often enough
twill rayjooce tn weight an It's fine FIR tn alb
domidal muscles. If as NANNY kings comes here
as their press agents promise these here nobly
BORN ladies will get almost as much exercise as
if they did tn family washin'."
What wud We do if we were king an come
to this counthry?" asked Mr.. Hennessy
Well" said Mr.. Dooley, there's wan thing
wudden't do. I wuddent r-read tn Declaration
iv independence. I'd be afraid I'd die .auglain"
Copyright: 1912: BY Finley Peter Dunns)