The Washington herald., 1912-02-18

Ne" when the tune was adapted to
verses that began:
TOr promised me that some dayI could
A steak without a mortgage on the
farm.
The appearance from behind the trees
of groRp OF standpatters, each made
up TO resemble "Uncie Joe" Cannon,
added TO the merriment. And then
finally. the merry outlaws made their
exit TO the following rolIicking song;
oh. merry. merry. merry hapimermen
Each with an empty pan. sir.
We tramp, tramp. tramp where the
voters ought to be.
And we knock the best we can, SIR.
II any their defiance shout
And make us surly answers.
We say, "Oh, turn the rascals outI
And keep tap, tapping on our pam sirs.
rink-tank. tink-tank, tink-a-tink-a-tink-
Loud our voices ring.
None cries or sobs,
Even though we're out of jobs;
We're happy and gay as king.
A Spirited steepIechase.
A very spirited and much-appreeiated
stunt was a description of Presidential
steeplechase. When It was announced
that there was a gentleman present who
desired to make a book on the Demo-
cratic Presidential Steeplechase, believ-
ing that there were some live sports
present. President Garthe gave pernis-
sion, provided that the Gridiron Club
was not held responsible for any viola
ton OF the anti-betting law.
So the bookmaker appeared. with all
the paraphernalia of his craft, and in
loud voice began:
pick your favorite for the Democratic
Presidential Steeplechase, the classic
OF the American political turf. Every
body has a chance to win: Here is
damned by Henry watterson; breezed
'out well on his last trial; going fast
under a hard pull. Next Is Judson
Grover G an ola ,smops apsisheE stsEe hSase ssS aDS
damned by w. J. Bryan. Here is
Tom Marshall and J. w. Kern, en-
the banks Of the Wabash. and coupled
in the betting. Next is Champ and
Me- Stable. The governor has Just
GSamp efsn eGsG Coupled in the ed3sA BestiGs with
him, and layers can let their money
stand or take It down. W. J. Stone
and J. Reed. both likely boys, will
who will be ridden by W. ]. Bryan.
the only rider who has ever been
able to stick on his back. Next comes
Oscar W., a little conservative over
the jumps, but a fast colt; J. Bank
head up. Last, but not least, Is
Eugene n, entered Inadvertently by
Henry Cabot Lodge.
An Accident on the Track.
1t was at this point that there were
loud cries for q doctor. It seems that
Woodrow w. had just bucked OF his
Jockey, G. Harvey, and had Kicked. an
innocent bystander, an editor from Ken
lucky. After this untoward incident.
betting became last and furious. GInord
Pinchot wanted to put 1oo on T. r., es-
pecially II the track were muddy, as ''he
likes heavy going"
Track drying rapidly. Save your
money" was the reply.
Another telegram, in Greek, said that
big pool of 50 had been raised for
Woodrow W., who ran under the name
Of "Prexy'' on the Princeton track.
Some one labeled ollie James proceeded
to plunge heavily on Bryan, and there
upon the books were closed, the race
having started. With much dramatic
force came this description. the book
maker holding field glasses to his eyes
and apparently scanning the distant
track:
A Lively Run Around.
They're at the post william Jen-
nings acting badly: takes a kick at
Jpdson y. woodrow ": fighting for
son n. standing fiat-footed and the
barrier going up. Come on you
They're of. They're of, oh. you
little Champ! Here they come!
woodrow W. on the rail, Judson n.
and Champ nose and nose with him
M5iam SiId Go eRniPfs IT. ia sS%ns sSout? osSar S w.
swinging wide at the turn in the soft
going. Get out OF that. you piker!
Now he's going easy and closing up.
ing up, Gov. Folk at his saddle,
Eugene n. trailing, but running hand
ily. Woodrow w. setting the pace,
with William Jennings blowing hard
Champ and Judson n. under double
At the half woodrow W. by a neck
over Champ and JudSon N; all run
YOU Eugene N! You're standing
still, Judson n. takes the lead. and
William Jennings bolts against the
on Tom Marshall J.. Reed, on Gov.
Folk, giving him whip and spurs.
At the three-duarters. Champ and
three boys draw whips. William Jen.
nfngs back on the track again, and
is trying to run over Judson \. Os-
car W. coming strong on the out,
Judson n. shows in front. tPauseD
Woodrow W. moving up. Give 'em
the whip, boysi Give EN- the steel!
No one knows exactly how the race
would have ended, for at this exciting
moment a crowd of policemen rushed In
and drove the bookmaker out OF the
room.
A ComicaI Court of Honor.
The dinner would not. of course, have
been complete without a court OF honor
For ten minutes II held the center OF
the stage and settled many disputes In
its own peculiar way. There was an
Innocent Bystander and an Ohicial Press
Agent as necessary adjuncts.
The dispute over universal arbitration
first demanded attention.
Does everybody favor it," was asked.
Everybody but the United States Sen
ate," was the reply.
What is arbitration chiefly used for?'
ITO advertise Andrew Carnegie"
The dialogue was filled with refer
ences to men and things that seemed to
EYEeI ASSES