The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1912-04-16
NJ

The auto on the farm arose
Before the dawn OF four:
II MIXED tho COWS and washed the clothes.
And finished every chore.
Then forth II went into the neld
Just at the break of day.
II rcaprd and threshed the golden yield
And hauled it all away.
1t rlowed The field that afternoon.
And when the job was through
1t hummed a pleasant little tune
And churned tho butter, too.
For while tho farmer. peaceful eyed,
Read by the tungstcn's glow,
The patient auto stood outside
And ran the dynamo. Peoria Transcript.
Down at Fargo Judge Pollock has been asked by
the plaintiff L" give her an ahsolni" divorce because
her old man will not talk. There have been instances
OF divorce because ono party talked too much-bu, the
failure to talk enough is a new idea.
A new clerk in one of the local stores took the
boss into his confidence tho other day aud said. II
notice some Of these barrels Of apples arc marked Y
and some 2. Are thcy different kinds" NO" said
the boss. patroniZingly. YOU know some people want
\ barrel opened ~ the top and some wan, them opened
At III" bottom Now when You find ono Of these fas-
iidiors patrons YOU can advise him TO open on tho X
or the u end, and he will feel better satisfied
Dog on tho Imrk.-some peculiar things happen
back in Indiana there" and the following under a
faNrencehurg date line is one OF them:
A.. Jackson ABBY, former sheriff, was firm in the
belief that his thorollshhrcd English bloodhound had
heen poisoned. Veterinarians confirmed his suspicious.
After III" hound died its body was cut open and four
nest eggs OF the glass variety We're found in the stom-
ach. AxhN had put the eggs in nests to encourage his
hens to lay. He noticed recently the supply of eggs
had fallen off. although the hens appeared to bc in
laying condition. II is believed tho dog had been suck
ing tn" eggs and. failing with the glass variety, swal-
lowed them.
That Tc>ky CaIf-Most people have some kind OF
experiences with a calf some time in their life. but Bill
ll"nkel. mp AT t'ando. had a fine line Of experience the
other daN which was rather unusual. and impressive.
carl Nelson OF the Democrat tells of it in this way:
BILLY licnkcl came in from the country last Tues
day afternoon with his right eye in a sling. TIr had
what srrappN gentlemen arc wont to call a peach of a
black 'Nc. His friends gathered around him on tho
street and wanted To know whore the set-to took place.
and who was there TO referee it. rilly said. bv heck.
ii was a better man than any Of tho ioshcrs around
him that did it-and then he proceeded TO toll the
crowd how an innocent lii fool calf, who didn't know
his head from a picked pigs foot. had reached ont
Just when he was opening the cato. of course, the
first thing Hill thought of was to hit back. Int ho
didnt--it was onlH a calf and ,hoy were going to make
veal out OF him anyway. The Democrat man felt allied
upon 10 read Billy the following moral: Say Fill.
retribufion is bound to overtake a fellow sooner or LAT
or. saw You put just such an eye on a fellow IN
election night in 1895. and now rou sos 1T has finally
s"' DICK 10 You. providence moves in mysterious
WAYS. Eml said: "1S"sh: put A bcefstesk ON tina,
ietloN 3 cN" and il 'amc out all right. hut There vus
nobody around to put one on minc-and look a, If
now"