davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19

Illinois is ,nicknamed '"The Sucker
State" but did nothing to deserve the
epithet until ITS last Senatorial election
II is way station on the westward
course OF empire. the last stop before
years has succeeded In permanently de-
tanning 4 population Of $4,000 people.
almost all Of whom can point to some
other part Of the nation and say. fondly,
Grandfather came from there"
Illinois is printed In various colors on
the map. but as a matter OF fact. Is a
deep black State with a ten-foot soil,
which can raise twenty-foot cornstalks,
and can put an industrious farmer into
the automobile class In three crops. Since
the recent political exposures. however,
the State has been a blushing pink. orna-
mented with yellow spots and White and
Browne outbreakings. Two generations
ago the State gave Lincoln, Grant. Logan,
and Douglas to the nation. but the states
man vein has been pinching out ever
since.
Illinois is the third State in the Union
in population, wealth and manufac-
lures; the first In railroads and agricul-
tural products: the second in coal; the
third in petroleum; the second in college
attendance. and the first IN production
of beefsteaks and bacon 1t is a long
State. with a waist-line like that of our
beloved President, and a backbone COM
posed Of the Illinois Central Railroad. 1t
reaches from the lower edge OF the frozen
North to the upper edge OF the sunny
South, and spring begins at Cairo before
ice-cutting is over a. Galena. This makes
Illinois people vary greatly in tempera-
ment. customs. habits. politics. and thou
sands OF Northern Illinoisans who can
find their way around Paris alone would
like a guide IL they ventured below the
middle OF their own State.
Northern and Central Illinois are full
OF farmer sristocrats who raise leviathan
hogs and get a new model piano player
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
What Women Are Doing.

All the women are not interesting
themselves in the question whether or
not they should vote Some of them
are taking hold of practical problems,
like the improvement of housing con-
ditions, the betterment of the laboring
classes, and the raising of the standard
of living.
Take, for instance, the organization
in New York of THE Practical
Mothers Association" 1t proposes to
fight moving pictures which have cor
rupt tendencies, and insists that public
recreation places, such as dance halls,
shall be managed and supervised by
public authorities, who will be response
bic for their proper conduct In Western
Illinois an organization has been formed
which proposes that its members shall
pledge themselves to careful scrutiny
of the lives Of young men who visit
their daughters. 1t is believed that
these matters should be made a COM
mon and self-helpful duty.
The constantly increasing number of
these organizations in this country in
dicates growing tendency on the part
of women to identify themselves d.
recdy with the solution of the problems
which arise from a complex civiliza-
ton. This activity ought to be well
coined by those who are concerned in
the future welfare of the republis. Al
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19

has spent a disappointed life trying TO
fatten a red Zig on his frugal farm is
now ordering SIS worth Of bacon ana
eggs each morning in some New YORK
hotel.
Illinois Is composed OF two almost
equal parts-Chlcago and the rest OF ine
State Down State Illinois Is speckieo
with pleasant little cities and large req
barns. while Chicago attends almost ex-
cIusively to the task of swelling the
states population The finest scenery In
the State is at Starved Rock'-a great
eminence on the Illinois River, named In
honor of the last people who starved IN
Illipols-over 900 years ago.
tCopyrgnt, lsl2, b George Matthew AdannS)
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
STATESMEN, REAL AND NEAR.
By FRED c. KELLY.

Henry L. Myers, of Montana, Just can't
get used to being a United States Sena-
tor. He goes about the Capitol as mod
estly as a bridegroom, while many other
Senators who have been here no longer
than he has act as important as an eIec-
ton clerk.
A few days ago Myers appeared at
the door OF the House chamber and asked
for one Of the Representatives.
Tell him Myers wants to see him." he
said.
Aren't you Senator Myers one OF
the boys at the door asked him.
why. uh-yes." admitted Myers,
coughing quietly.
The Representative was some time COM
ing, and the Senator stood by the door
way first on one leg and then on another
one.
You might as well 90 on inside and
sit down." suggested a kind doorkeeper.
mo need OF you sending card in"
Well, would il be all right to-" asked
Myers.
"oh, yes" the man said; YOU have
the privilege Of the floor, being a sena-
tor"
'Ah. that is indeed very nice" said
the Senator; but l didn't wish to in
trude.'
Assured again that il was perfectly all
right, he walked gratefully and unpre-
tentiously into one Of the smoking rooms
off the chamber and sat down on a
lounge.
DIR. Andy jackson BarchfeId, member OF
the House from Pittsburg. has a decided
knack at hobnobbing with royalty. He
used TO be a great friend OF the Hawaiian
queen with the funny name. and has
conversed freely with Emperor William
of Germany. as well as with the late
King Leopold of Belgium. Kings and
such people seem 10 like a man built
on an elaborate scale, and Barchfeld is
II. standing six feet. five or six, in plain
vici kid shoes.
Emperor William told Barchfeld he
wished he might have him for a member
Of the Imperial Guard, and after Barch-
field had made reply with cleverly chos-
en- and well enunciated language. the
Emperor. with a wave Of his hand. told
him that the royal palace was his. But
Barchfeld didn't take il.
The hefty Pittsburg statesman made a
hit with Leopold, the Belgian King, by
telling him about the town Of Charleroi.
in Pennsylvania, populated almost en-
tirely by Belgian glassmakers. many of
whom have grown wealthy. Before they
separated. Leopold had told Barchfeld
this story about himself
He had been. spending a few weeks
at Ostend and while there tried TO throw
of all cares Of state and enjoy himself.
One day a minister came to him and said
that he felt It his duty to tell him that
he had heard a scandal involving the
King and one Of the women guests at
the hotel. and he hoped that II the scan
dal existed II might proceed no further.
What did you say when you were
told about it," asked the King.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
WITH WHOLE STATE as UNIT.
Governor Back. the View Maryland
Presidential Primary Bill.

From the Baltimore Sun.
A Statewide Presidential primary bin
viii be introduced In the house of dele
gates this week by Minority Leader War
burton. Of Cecil County. This measure
VIII have the Endorsement Of Gov. Colds
borough, as well as OF the Republican
members Of the legislature.
Discarding the county unit idea, 1t will
declare for a Statewide vote upon the
candidates for Presidential nomination.
The State will be made the unit. and the
delegates to the national convention will
be pledged TO the candidate who receives
the majority Of votes in the entire State.
The details OF the bill regarding the
selection OF delegates have not been
worked out. II Is likely. however. that
the four delegates-at-large will be se-
lected by the vote of the entire State
and the district delegates by Congress
sional districts. All will be bound, how
ever, by the majority vote in the entire
State
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19

'I said nothing" replied the minister.
We'll. Just a few weeks ago." said
Leopold, Il heard an unpleasant story
about you and a prominent woman men,
Der OF your congregation. and do you
know what I said when I was told
about it?'
What did you say?" eagerly inquired
the minister.
why" replied Leopold. with vehe-
mence. Il promptly denied 1t. ] try to
be a true sport
John E. Lathrop. a prominent member
OF the press gallery here at the Capital
had a run of hard luck not long ago and
found himself in Baltimore on business.
He found that IL would not be neces-
sary to remain there all night as he had
feared, and joyously he rushed to a tele-
graph station. seized a blank. and wired
his wife that he would arrive home soma
time after midnight
At home the next morning he waI
aroused from sound sleep by the ring
ing OF a telephone 1t was the telegraph
company trying to telephone his Bal
timore message that in his glee over get
ting away from Baltimore, he had mad
vertently written on a might blank
Senator Taylor met on Pennsylvania
avenue the other day Southern coIorsd
man who had recently lost his job as
assistant messenger or something Of the
sort at the Capitol
"Areu't you working up on the hill
any more?"' inquired Marse Bob.
mo. sah,' replied the colored man,
"Ah'm out Of once TO the present"
Though he was born in a prairie
schooner at Carson City, Representative
found himself greatly handicapped IN his
first campaign for Congress by the fact
that he was not a native Of California
Needham's opponent kept cangratulating
himself on being a native SON What
ever county he was in. he mentioned that
his father had once owned a farm there
and that with so strong an attachment
! for the locality, he yearned to represent
the people thereof in Congress
1t became apparent to Needham and
his friends that the other fellow was
making headway with his native son talk
and that something must be done
Needham stepped to the front Of the
platform one evening, and said:
II must confess that. unlike my op-
ponent. 1 am not fortunate enough to
have been born in California. But was
born at Carson City, on my way here,
and II the confounded horses hadn't
given out. would have been a native
son of California"
After that there wasn't anything TO II.
Needham's parents. by the way, about
the time Of his birth, spent the last S24
they had in the world for a bale Of hay
for the horses.
Senator johnson, OF Alabama, and Sem
ator owen, OF Oklahoma, never eat at
noon
ICovrisht 49,. by Flrd C Kelly. An rights ne
seTed-l
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
Old Age.

w. Butler Duncan, chairman OF the
board of directors of the Mobile and
Ohio Railroad, celebrated his eighty
second birthday in New York last Sum-
day, being hale and hearty. In the
same city on the same day, Hilary A.
Herbert. who has just written a book,
attended the Grover Cleveland memo
rial exercises at the age OF. seventy-hve.
Instances like these might be indef-
nitely multiplied Gov. Harmon, nigh
unto seventy, is an active candidate for
the Presidency. Gen. Charles H. Gros-
venor, at the age of seventy-nine, will
be a delegate from Ohio to the Chicago
national convention. James Wilson is
Secretary of Agriculture at the age of
Iseventy-seven. In every department OF
life it is apparent that either men live
longer now than was formerly the case
or else that their mental and physical
activities are longer preserved.
Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declara-
ton of independence at an age which
nowadays would be regarded as mere
boyhood. He was considered an old
man at a period which at the present
time would be regarded merely as the
prime of life. 1t would be an inter
esting and instructive task for some one
to gather all the information about men
who are to-day active and vigorous
with nearly or over foursoore years OF
life to their credit This data, COM
pared with conditions of the past, would
prove a valuable contribution to the
study of human life
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
JOURNEY HAS DRAWBACKS.
War Department Automobiles Get
stalled in bad Roads.
Prom the Troy Recurd.

Prom the Troy Record.
A test journey from Washington to
Fort Benjamin Harrison, Ind. via At
laBta, OF three army automobiles Is
meeting drawbacks which are testing the
strength of the vehicles as well as the
patience of those operating them. Bad
roads have been encountered along the
route
\ specially constructed four-wheeI drive
truck, which was expected to lead the
way throughout the test. has been out
classed by an ordinary car. The impor-
tance of good roads is being demonstrated
by the drawbacks which have been ex-
perienced by those in charge of the army
automobiles.
In the event of the United States going
to war with Mexico or Great Britain, the
Importance OF roads which would offer
every facility for a vehicle which is rapid
and powerful would be in evidence.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
BASEBALL A WICKED SPORT.
Representative Gallagher Poses as
National HumorIst.

From the Boston Post.
Whether he desires II or not. Repre-
sentative Gallagher, of Illinois. has sud
denly acquired a resounding reputation
as a humorist by reason of his bill pro-
posing a Congressional investigation OF
the baseball trust, the most audacious
and autocratic trust in the country"
Delightful also is his account OF the
''enslaving'' of players by the big leagues
at salaries ranging from 5000 TO $500
each year for about six months work.
Whether the magnates or the players
are the more "audacious' as 10 the
money part is still a moot question.
Perhaps Gallagher can get his resolu-
ton through, though. II would be a
pleasing job for some Congressman to
travel around all summer seeing the
best games free and all expenses paid.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
SAY IT AH-M0OND-SEN.
How the Name of the Explorer
should BE Pronounced.

From the Springfield Republican.
Although Amundsen has been a famous
man ever since he discovered the north
west passage, his name is still pronounc-
ed wrong as often as right. The correct
pronunciation is with a strong stress on
the first syllable, which is made rather
Iong-"Ah-moond-sen.
The ''oo'' is not quite so close and posi-
tive as in moon, and the "e" is somewhat
sighted. The last two syllables, being
cluttered up with consonants, take each
about the same time as the long 'ah, -
so that the rhythm is much like that of
Edmonton or excellent" emphatically
spoken.
1t is a resonant, spirited name, worthy
Of a modern viking.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
LAWMAKERS FLIP COIN.
Thus Settle Fate of Mississippi
Banking Act.

Prom the New York Tribune.
Jackson, Miss, March I7.-Rules of
chance were invoked yesterday by Mis-
sissippi lawmakers. and the fate of one
OF the most important measures that have
come before the legislature at the pres
ent long session was settled by the flip
ping of a coin.
The bill in question was one for re-
vision OF the banking laws. The heads
or tails test first was suggested to settle
the name Of the bill. two representa-
tives claiming ii. To decide the dispute,
coin was tossed and the name was
chosen accordingly. A long string of
amendments was then brought in. The
coin method appealed to the tired as
semblymen as quick and efficacious. ana
the amendments were adopted or re-
jected according TO whether the date was
up or down.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
Almost q Bank Scare.

From the Macon (Ga.l News
Exactly four months after the next
President is inaugurated. IL he should by
any accident chance to be a Republican,
all the national banks in the country
will close their doors. The same thing
will happen IL he should be a Demo-
cratic President, as 1t will be the Fourth
of July.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19

ready the work which has been done
by the women connected with, the Ma
tional Civic Federation has borne good
fruit, and If the efforts now in progress
and to be undertaken are prosecuted
with thoroughness and wisdom much
additional good will be accomplished.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
BASEBALL AS A BUSINESS.

From the Charleston News and Courier.
There may be a baseball trust, but st
is not in the umpire.
From the Columbia IS. c. State.
Now, Connie Mack doesn't look much
like a trust magnate, does he?
From the New York Herald.
Harvard astronomers have discovered
new star. Suggest that they turn Il
over TO the Boston National League
team.
From the Boston Herald.
President Ban johnson says that many
ball players get larger salaries than
members Of Congress. And they are
spared the pains Of writing their own
biographies.
From the PruTidence Journal.
The first baseball team to go outside
the 6nited States for fits spring train
ing is. appropriately enough. a member
of the International League. The Jer-
sey City players have sailed for three
weeks outing In Bermuda
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
LAST HOPE OF THE RACE.
II Is Found I'm the Immigrant Who
Comes to Our shores.

NUHts To UHE sHOrets
Frum the Chicago Examiner.
After much general discussion OF race
suicide, We are at last getting down 10
facts and figures-something upon which
We can base a conclusion. The ignorant
immigrant, according to Prof Giddings,
averages a family Of children numbering
five or six; the well-to-do are satisfied
with two in the family. Hence If the
race is not totally extinguished It will
be given over to ''the barbarians, the
half civilized, the brutalized. and the
ignorant"
This is not cheerful thing to contem-
plate, however # may be that those Of
US who listen to Prof. GiddinEs to-day
will cease TO be interested in things mum
dane when the reign of ignorance and
brutality is firmly established.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
still at His Trade.

From the London Chrunicie.
Some time agi Austria had re-
markably eloquent and witty tailor,
who became not only an NJ p, but a
minister of the crown. To him a new
governor made this maladroit remark:
Il hear, Mr.. Jones, you were once a
tailor" Yes, my lord. 1 was" And
how are you engaged now?" Taking
your excellency's measure"
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
MARK TWAIN FASHION.
White Clothes for Men Worn in
Winter at European Spas.

From the New York Tribune.
An English fashion article says that
Americans who visit the European spas
this year will find that Mark Twain
has left a white mark on the fashions
Of 1912. and that what was looked upon
in his day as an eccentricity has been
recognized as a sensible Innovation.
Men who thought the conventional
black dinner jacket was an immovable
fixture will cast It aside in the torrid
months for white garment OF Identical
cut. The evening coat will remain black
except as to those men who endeavor
periodically to make brown, blue. and
dark green fashionable.
But the white dinner suit for small
affairs, card parties, and stag dinners
will have its irst and probably popular
season."
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
Uncle Pennywise saysi

At my wife's Browning Club last meet
ing they discussed The Pied Piper
and the harem skirt.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
STEADILY IMPROVING.
The Business Outlook Reported to
BE Most Encouraging.

BE Most EncouraEing.
From the Philadelphia Pres.
The business outlook steadily improves.
The price making facts do not change
much, but the price making opinions
have wholly altered in two months and
the future of business is largely opinion.
II people believe good times are COM
ing and prepare for them, good times are
pretty sure to come. Railroad shares
rose slightly last week, and industriaIs
moved upward decidedly.
The prices of manufactures rose last
week, the prices OF food fell and one
great labor difficulty at Lawrence was
settled. This is all good news. Tex
tiles in January and February were
steadily moving, but when prices begin
to advance and stocks are low. orders
multiply and all are encouraged, from
raw materials upward.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
From the Boston Herald.
From the Pruridence Journal.
Two Girl. and Two Tramp..

From the Kansas City Journal
Here Is one difference between Kan
sas and New York.
An unfortunate girl in Lawrence. who
was found living with tramp, was
brought into Police Court and fined. Meta
Sinclair lived with a tramp and got her
pictures in the papers for 1t. New York
needs civilization
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
obIect Le..on to Knox.

From the Philadelphia Ledger.
The cabinet CT Honduras in order to
meet Secretary Knox made a sixty-hour
journey on muleback from Tegucigalpa,
the capital. This Is forcible and timely
reminder of the need of an American
loan for the development of transporta-
ton facilities, and no doubt the Secretary
has been sufficiently impressed by the
object lesson
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
A MOUNTAIN LION STORY.
How Colorado Hunter Caught
One with His Coat.

One Win his Coat.
From the New YORK Herald.
MeekeT, Colo. Sunday.-After freeing a
full-grown mountain lion. Richard Tovey,
trapper. discarded his gun, climbed
after ii. and caught the animal with only
his coat to aid him
TOvey wanted the specimen alive. As
he climbed the tree and out on a branch
the animal retreated to the extreme end
OF the swaying limb. crouched, and
watched its approaching enemy.
Finally the beast sprang at Tovey. who
had barely time to straighten up and
open his coat. fan like. when the lion
struck. head foremost, gnashing,
scratching mass, squarely within its
folds.
The impact caused the trapper to lose
his balance, and he fell to the ground.
taking his prize with him. Neither was
hurt.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
WIN Protect the Heron.
Fun the sav,nnah New

rrum the S1vannah NewL
The Maryland legislature has passed a
drastic law for the protection Of the
white heron, or aigrette. For a number
Of years Maryland has been a great
source Of supply for bird plumage Some
fifteen States now have laws forbiddins
the killing Of white herons except within
specified seasons, and then only under
limitations
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
Recall in Lo. Angeles.

Ffum the Montgomery Advertiser.
A straw hat has already made its ap-
pearance in Los Angeles. In that city.
however. they have the recall. SO there
is a strong possibility OF the straw being
stdetracked before the buds actually be-
gin TO bust.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
Mechanical Verse.

What are you doing there?"
''Tinkering up a spring poem. The
springs seem to have gotten little
rusty since last year"
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
just to Get Even.

From the Rochester Times
A Philadelphia man accused of steal
ing chickens admitted his crime, but
said in excuse that he stole the chick
ems from the man who had stolen his
wife. Evidently he meant TO get even,
no matter IL he did have to break the
law.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
ILLIN OIS
Ey GEORGE FITCH
Author of "Af Good Old Siwash"

every year. The southern part OF the
state has a strawberry blond soil. ana
does not produce such luxuriant bank ac-
counts. However, oil and coal In vast
quantities have been discovered In this
region OF late, and many farmer VINO
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
Marrying for Money.

why do you prefer Mr.. Jombat 10
Mr.. wiphddle7 Mr.. wipfiddle has the
most money"
But Mr.. Jombat has only one lung. ="
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
Up Against IL.

That fellow is a source OF great un-
easiness to me. He may be an excellent
young man. but wish he would keep
away from my house"
"Courting your daughter. Is he?''
Nav; he's counting my cook"
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
Where the FIgbting Is.

War with Japan seems imminent.
These dreadful rumors alarm me-"
TOO bad"
What's to be done?"
We'll, II l were you. ! would switch
magazines"
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
Boyhood Days.

The poets prate Of youths estate
In endless rhymes.
But now and then I think that men
Have better times.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
SIGNS OF SPRING.

I saw the first dsnodil tremble
And shake like an animate thing;
/ saw the dark storm clouds assemble,
Ard then knew II was spring.
/ saw the first woodpecker shiyer
And drop TO the earth with a bing;
/ noticed the ice on the river,
And then / knew II was spring.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
March 10 I'm History.

March 10, l5SS-oueen Elizabeth tries
to ride a bicycle. Raleigh laughs and
is sent to the Tower.
March 10. I755.-Dr. johnson pawns his
plum-colored pantaloons.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
sure Thing.

Have you popped the question yet?'
I can't seem 10 get chance"
Cant get a chance. Ell? Better turn
your attentions elsewhere. II your girl
wished 1t, you would get chance all
right enough"
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19

From the Philadelphia Record.
Texas will lose all interest in Mexican
revolutions II IT can't ship arms and am
munition across the Rio Grande.
The Washington herald., 1912-03-19
From the Newark Star.

Prom The NeWark Star.
The train robbers shot dead by an ex-
press messenger in Texas are thought to
have been Mexican insurrectos. Revo-
lutions are dull sport and a fellow must
have some excitement.