Middletown transcript., 1912-02-24

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something in the light OF touch
ing a match to a bundle OF
excelsior and daring it to burn.
All his life he had SHE'D at
neckties on the theory that if the
benefcent powers above had
lowered man with chin
whiskers it was rank extrava-
gance for him TO adorn hlmself
with unseen inery. Likewise
he could not understand the
blind foolishness of masculine
individuals who turned from
celluloid collars which one could
wash daily and thus save un'
necessary laundry bills. AS for
clothes-they we're merely re-
quired for covering. This, then,
was the problem Antoinette Web
Der had to wrestle with when she
came back from boarding school
and began to get the family ar
ranged for the wedding.
Being a woman, her mother
was quite amenable to new IDEAS
but when Antoinette tackled
Jeffrey he fguratively stood up
on his hind legs and roared a war
cry.
Dress suit! he checked. Me!
At my age! Cracky! Never!
Now, father, Antoinette began
soothingly, quite as though she
held a tablespoonful of bitter
medicine in one hand and was
prying open his teeth with the
other, l want you to look your
best when Horace and his friends
get here
Look my best! her father roar
ed again. Dressed up like mon
key on a stick!
And you've got to wear a tie,
Antoinette broke in, firmly.
They revived Antionette's
father with tender care, but he
was never the same man
after that. He gloomed around
the premises, surveying with a
hostile eye the housecleani1g
preparations for she coming we'd
ding and he developed jump
ness at everything unusual and
suspicious.
Antoinette was in despair. She
was marrying into rather a
fashionable family and the
thought of Horace's college
friends and his family arriving
to find that while her father had
a heavy bank account he had nc
sense of sartorial values was
tragedy.
Horace and his party won't get
here till the day itself, Antoinette
told her mother in one of their
hopeless conferences. They won'l
notice dad so much then, but il
the evening at the Wedding
mother, I'll just die if he wears
that baggy old gray sack suit and
his celluloid collar and no tie!
Then I'm afraid you're due tc
die, daughter, said Mrs. Webber,
who had been married to An
toinette's father long enough tc
know.
| won't, snapped Antoinette,
with the blind faith Of youth in
its powers. I'll manage it some
how. I'm not going to have the
only wedding I'll have in my
whole life spoiled by fathers
ridicnlous stubbornness!
She and her father eyed each
other warily toward the last, like
gladiators before the fight. He1
father ostentatiously bought
new celluoid collar and a fresh
ten cent collar button and new
pair of calfskin boots.
The day Of the wedding Antoi
nette's father, the only incongru
GUS spot in refurnished, decora
ted house, filled with frills and
fluff, went upstairs to get ready
for the evenings fray. Laying out
his new collar and collar button
and simply tossing his old gray
clothes over a chair, he stepped
into the bathroom for his oblu
tions. He was about twenty minu
tes.
When he came back to his
room he blinked. On the bed
were spread some strange black
things. The coat was low cut and
had long tails. Patent leather
pumps stood tendishly beside a
pair of silk socks. There were al
so some weird stand up linen
collars and a box of white ties
and a large bosomed shirt.
There was nothing else in the
way Of clothes in the room.
Nobody paid any attention to
bis rawlings and poundings, fol
everybody was dressing the
bride or was getting dressed