University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1912-05-30

A
the University of Missouri,
Clarence Netherington Hedgma
was going to be great author. H
never denied it. In fact, that wa
the first thing he told the men O
the Freshman DORM" when he ar
rived at college. He did more. how
ever. than merely dream about thi
lofty aspiration. Pencil and pad il
hand, he often set out upon bushes
like expeditions to try to learn tn,
ways of men.
Hedgman was small in stature, ant
rather effeminate in build. His &C
tions were quick, nervous, and jerky
His tiny hands and feet seemed una
BILE to remain quiet. His head wa!
perched upon his shoulders at an in
quisitive angle. and his eyebrow.
seemed always to be raised inquir
ingly. His hair. eyes. and complex
ion were so undecided in shade that
they gave one the impression of be.
ing cOlOrless. and his face was one
which would attact only by the
fact that it lacked SO completely any
feature of interest.
One day Hedgman rushed uncere-
moniously into Jim Norton's room,
where the fellows had been heatedly
discussing the football prospects of
the college.
Il do beg of yOu." Hedgman lofti-
ly said. Ito start your conversation
over again. had to fill my fountain
pen before coming. and so l missed
part of the discussion. Many noted
professors have discovered that the
best dialogue is that which is most
natural, and such dialogue can only
be gotten by observation Of.
Avs 'nOugh, ''growled the fel-
lows. and Norton grabbed Clarence
NetheringtOn Hedgman by the COL
lar. and lifted him out of the room.
This explains how the future literary
genius came to be called by the be-
littling title of Snuff"
At first, Snuff. was just consid-
cred joke. but, after his propensity
for taking notes had interrupted
nearly every interesting cOnversa-
tiOn in every dOrmitOry on the cam
pus during two months. Snuff had
become unpopular. Had he seemed
to care. or if he had even realized
his unpopularity, he might have had,
at least, some sympathizers But
Snuff. even with the aid of words
and blows, could never be made to
understand that it was time for
him to stop butting in." Cndaunted,
he never hesitated to re-enter a door
through which he had been showed
just few minutes be-
fore.
Nor was the Freshman Dorm"
enough for Snuff to see
man at his daily occupation and
recreatiOns. I'm spite of the icy
weather. Snuff hustled over to the
Senior Dorm" one November night
at about ten o'clock. He entered
several rooms on the second floor. |!
but found them in mussed solitude. !
Ding bust it. Billy Mckay must
be Student President" /
But. how'll We work it? Junior
Dorm'll go for Ralph Wells. be-
'ause he's Junior. and they've
been dying to put it over the Senior
DORM
Yes. and Freshman DOrm'll go
or Wells because we Seniors have
lazed the Freshies so much this
ear"
And I'd bet a hat that even most
If the SOphs'll fail us. We should
lave known better than to side with
he faculty. when they didn't want
iunkers to play football"
Its tough. but Billy's the better
nan, and a Senior, and he must get
t. Wouldn't those pesky Juniors
lave the haw-haw on us if their man
,ot it,
At this depressing point in the
Snuff, who had traced
he excited voices to Ted ThOmp-
On's den" on the third floor, rushed
n, eager to hear what was being
aid. Oaths and sofa-pillows were,
IS usual. his only welcome.
THAT brat ought to be killed."
Let's tub the little fool"
The thought of Tubing Snuff i'm
nediately animated the crowd. They
lurried him into the bathroom, made
lin turn on the cold water, and :
waited until the tub was entirely
ull. The sleetbearing wind ratified
he windows, and Snuff shivered.
'In with you Snuff, and sing