The Chitina leader., 1912-03-09
BULL CON- KEEL.
LY'S LAMENT

Healy is in throuble up in Chitina
There's two iv thim," answered
Mr.. Hennessy; ''Sleuth Brown II
lookin' as sore as an Indian thryin
to get bald-headed mans scalp"
"Thrue for ye," observed Mr.
Dooley. "These two representative
citizens are gettin' theirs, an it's q
good thing for tn country. There's
thribulashun among tn boes; onl.
lh' other day l heard Bull Con Kell!
unload a bale iv woe that'd mIlt q
neart iv stone.
"I had just retired for tn night,
said Bull Con, an was comfortabl!
reposin' on tn soft ind Nv bee.
oarrel in tn Chitina Hotel. l ha,
i've inches iv Cloninger's rye insid.
ne belt an a-feelin' Nv pace an con,
-intment was gradually o'erspreadin
ne sowl, whin tn sarpint entere.
ne garden iv Eden in tn shape iv al
innocent appearin' gink with tn pa
per. 1t was full iv me ouid frin
dealy-an outrageous attack upo
aim; an me Guild tillicum Marsha
drown came in for a roast also.
Immediately wept bitter tears iv mis-.
cry at tn insult to me two bis
.rinds, an I've never recovered frol
shock. Me pace iv minds bee.
gon liver since; me poor sympatheti
ould hearts nearly busteu; I'm
victim iv insomnia; thin lamps
nine won't remain shut; tn bee
Jarrel that I've warmed so long ha
40 charms for me, an me name
mud. To add to all me throubles m
nidical attindant hez took TO IN tai
timber, an if 1 wish to consult hil
I've got to hike to the Scolai Pass.
"'But me gorge is rapidly risin
ne old tillicums are not to be al
.acked VIII impunity. I've starte
% rare up on my two hind legs an
here's goin' to be somethin' dom
5ein- under tn weather mesilf,
couldn't undertake thrip to Cor
lovy on a brake beam, so I Lepute,
ne cabin mate, Box Car Ryan, an
ne left for tn metropolis tn o.Ae.
lay. He's twisted with me full
powers to demand an audience witt
Judge Cushman an lay tn matte.
before him.
"'An order has also been stint t,
Seattle for hand press, an paper
TO be known as the Chitina Repub
lean, will be issued in few week.
I'm one iv tn principle stochnold.
ers. It's purpose is to champion m.
two frinds, Healy an Brown. Speak.
m iv Brown, it really hurts me appe.
lite for booze to see tn pathetic lool
IN that reliable ould sleuth's mug
He can't enjoy a game iv pool an.
more. He's so distracted that HI
)okes holes in tn clotn, much to tn
Joy iv tn Gamblers Ghost" who i,
loin' a thrivin' bizness repairin
thin. Brown is gettin' so thin thai
Als crony-th' slick young gint in tn
overcoat who is lookin' atuuer tn in.
terests iv his two relatives on tn
outskirts iv towns disconsolate
An we'll he may be, for his bizness is
on tn bum; there's q slump in tn
market. -
TIL only thing that prevints me
from calm hoboes' convintion an
answerin' these base attacks by
aominatin' Healy for delegate, is tn
fear that tn drunks might follow tn
gineral example an bolt.
9TH connthry's rapidly goin' to
tn dogs; but whta tn 'Chitina he.
publican comes out, as its associate
editor, I'll have somethin' further to
say on tn subject. an Healy an
Brown will be avenged"
9TH commissioner and tn mar
shall hiv strong champeen in Bull
Con Kelly" remarked Mr.. Hen.
messy.
livery gintleman afflicted with tn
hook-worm in Chitina is fighting fol
EN-" replied Mr.. Dooley. tits Z
case iv God save me from me frinds
with these two-there'll be nothin
doin' for them at tn federal trough
very SOON"