The Alaska citizen., 1912-05-13

man
 Comedian-Ha ha. she asks ne what is man Man, my dear, is just a plain son ,f gun with all the nXin's
 Mrs Robert Bent Gillies. of 1l6 Mob Hill avenue, thinks so, too.
 That Is why she inserted the fore going classified ad. in the Times of yesterday.
 And, take it from me, Mrs. Gillies, Seattle is filled with ham-fisted gen tlemen who stand ready, yea, will. ing 10 trim wife-beaters al sl0 a throw
 The husky young package If chiv- airy who took Mir Robert Bent Gil lies in hand yesterday afternoon, performed very neatly. according to Mrs Gillies
 He would have whaled the tar out of my husband for half the price" said Mrs Gillits today, but he did such good job of it that l made him take the whole s1O"
 It was only after Mrs. Gillies ap- pealed to the police and to the pros ecuting attorney that she resorted 10 the highly original expedient of advertising for a man to spank her spouse
 She first went To see Mayer George Fletcher Cotterill about il.
 The mayor wasn't in.
 Private Secretary Freddie Catlett referred her 10 the chief Of police Chief Bannick wasn't in, either. Then Mrs. Gillies appealed to the prosecuting attorney.
 One of the boys in the office, Mrs. Gilles doesn't know who, ad- yised divorce proceedings, but she spurned such advice.
 It was then that Mrs Gillies de. cided to advertise.
 No sooner was the Times on the streets yesterday afternoon than the Male Help Wanted" was read by thousands.
 A close observer might have seen several large-boned, determined white hopes board North Queen Anne street cars All of them got off at John street and walked hurriedly to Mob Hill avenue, No. 11G.
 One of the boldest strode to the front door.
 He was some specimen.
 His neckband was considerably larger than his hatband and he car ried hefty, bloodshot fists
 Also, his lower jaw jutted.
 He rapped on the door and Mrs. Gilles opened it.
 Say, is this here advertisement on the level lady?" demanded he of the jutting jaw as he pulled copy of the Times from his pocket
 It is sure" responded Mrs. Gil lies. "Wont you step in?"
 The big fellow stepped into the parlor gingerly and looked around Curiously.
 Not Yet but Soon.
 Where's the guy yuh want me to lick?" demanded the beater-to-be of the alleged wife-beater.
 Keep your seat" said Mrs Gil lies calmly. He isn't here yet, but he soon will be"
 In the course of ten minutes MT. Robert Bent Gilies entered his home He hadn't seen the Times and nat urally he didn't know what was com ing to him.
 Is that him?" growled the person with the underslung submaxillary.
 That is he," responded Mrs. Gil lies. But before you start Tn let me give you little advice. Don't break his glasses and don't bung him up too much. Just choke him good and hard. Slap his face. Give him a few good kicks and throw him OH tie HULL udl ; WUdl lie gives me and that's what he ought to get l want him to see how it feels"
 During this highly interesting col oquy Mir Robert Bent Gillies stood frozen in his tracks.
 He awakened with a jar as hairy right paw fastened on his Adams apple.
 Ringing slaps rent the air
 MT. Robert Bent Gillles didn't have chance
 His tympanums tingled to beat the band and he was impressed with the fact that a No. 10 shoe fastened to foot the size of a coal scuttle is mighty effective.
 Every so often the punisher of CT rant husbands let up a little anG looked to Mrs Gillies for instruc tions.
 Every time she nodded assent the big person resumed.
 At length Mrs Gillies thought Rob ert Bent had been on the receiving end long enough and she signalet cease firing.
 The large man with the juttint jaw deposited Robert Bent in a cor nor ip haap