davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
CRUELTY TO POETRY.

The Authee's Feelings Wsro Mansied
as Badly ~ His Lines
An editor was sitting in his once
one day when a man entered whose
brow was clothed with thunder.
Fiercely seizing q chair, he slammed
his hat ON the table. hurled his UNI
brella on the floor and sat down.
Are you the editorT" he asked
"Yes.'
'Can you read writing?"
''Of course"
'Read that, then" he said. thrusting
at the editor an envelope with an in
scription on 1t.
3D." said the editor, trying to spell 1t.
THAT'S not a B. it's an s." said
the man.
"'SY Oh. yes, 1 see. Well. it looks
like 'Soles For Dinner or Souls For
Sinners.'" said the editor.
'No, sir" replied the man; nothing
Of the sort. That's my name-Samuel
Bruner. 1 knew you couldn't read. I
called to see about that poem Of mine
you printed the other day entitled
THE Surcease Of Sorrow"
II don't remember It," said the
editor.
''Of course you don't, because 1t
went into the paper under the villain
Gus title Of 'Smearcase Tomorrow.'
"a blunder Of the compositor. sup
pose"
'eYes, sir, and that Is what am here
to see you about. The way in which
that poem was mutilated was simply
scandalous. I haven't slept a night
since. 1t exposed me to derision. Peo-
pie think me a fool. Che editor
coughed.) Let me show you. This
first line, when I wrote It. read in this
way, Lying by weeping willow, I'M
derneath a gentle slope That is beau
tiful and poetic. Now, how did your
vile sheet represent it to the public?
Lying to weeping widow. induced
her to elope.' Weeping widow mind
you! A widow! Oh, thunder and light
ming! This is too much!'
Its hard. sir-very hard" said the
editor.
Then take the nth verse. In the
original manuscript it said. plain as
daylight, Take away the jingling
money; It Is only glittering dross" In
it's printed form you make me say.
Take away the tingling honey; put
some flies in for the boss BY George,
I feel like attacking somebody with
your fire shovel! But, oh. look at the
sixth verse! I wrote, I'm weary Of
the tossing Of the ocean as It heaves.'
When opened your paper and saw
the lines transformed into I'm wear
ing out my trousers till they are open
at the knees I thought that was tax
ing 1t an inch too far. fancy have
a right to murder that compositor.
Where is hep
"He is out just now" said the ed
itor. ''Come in tomorrow
~ WILL" said the poet, and I will
come armed"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
Cascarets Work
While You Sleep
salts, Calomel and Cathartie Pills are
vioIent-Ghey act on bowels ~

salts, Caiomel and cathartie Pills are
vioIent-&hey act on bowels ~
pepper acts in nostriIs.
Take a Cascaret tonight and thor
oughly cleanse your Liver. Stomach
and Bowels. and you will surely feel
great by morning. You men and WON.
en- who have headache. coated tongue,
can't sleep. are bilious, nervous and
upset, bothered with a sick. gassy, dis
ordered stomach, or have backache
and feel all worn out.
Are you keeping clean inside with
Cascarets-or merely forcing a pass
ageway every few days with salts, ca
thartic pills or castor Oil? This is i'm
pOrtant.
Cascarets Immediately cleanse and
regulate the stomach, remove the
sour, undigested and fermenting food
and foul gases; take the excess bile
from the liver and carry off the de-
composed waste matter and poison
from the intestines and bowels.
Remember. a Cascaret tonight will
straighten you out by morning. A 10
cent box from your druggist means a
clear head and cheerfulness for
months. Don't forget the children.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13

Through the generosity Of Mrs. vii.
liam X. Vanderbilt. Sr.. 3S4 apart
ments were recently opened in New
York city providing homes for persons
with tubercular tendencies. These
apartments are to be rented at nominal
prices. In planning the humane enter
prise Mrs. Vanderbilt desired that per-
sons Of limited means who might be
in delicate health should enjoy the ben
ents Of a trip to high priced santa
rum without leaving home.
For the purpose Of educating tenants
n to the most hygienic and economic
methods Of furnishing their homes an
apartment Of i've rooms and bath. fur
uished in a manner approved by emf
nent medical authorities. will be avail
able for inspection at all times. 1t IS
expected that the four buildings will
shelter about 1000 persons when all
the suits have been taken. In addition
to giving delicate members Of family
a chance to regain their health, one OF
the chief advantages of the plan will
be that families will not be broken up.
AZ is generally the case when illness
forces the ailing one to seek a more
beneficial atmosphere.
Overlooking the East river, with its
ever changing and interesting piano.
rama. the four buildings are situated
on the new John Jay park. one Of the
most desirable locations imaginable.
The buildings are separated by gener-
Gus courts in order that there shall be
free and unobstructed circulation Of air
at all times. The structures are Of
modern fireproof construction, and not
having been designed to produce in
come. in the ordinary commercial
sense. no expense has been spared to
make them sanitary and healthful. As
all the staircases are exterior. each
apartment is a unit. this arrangement
assuring greater privacy and quiet for
the patients.
The entire roof space is given over
to gardens and Fairgrounds. covered
and uncovered. and 1t is believed that
this feature will appeal to all the ten
ants.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
YOUNG PEOPLE ARE
INJURED IN CRASH
When Street Car Collides
With Bob-sleigh-Three
Fatally Hurt.
(National News Association

CHICAGO. Feb. 10 Five persons
were injured. 3 probably fatally when
. street car crashed into q bob-sleigh
containing q score or young persons,
many Of them members Of wealthy
families, at Fifty-fifth street and Ell.
lis avenue early today. The sleigh
was demolished by the collision and
all OF the occupants were hurled to
the pavement.
The windows OF the street car were
shattered and several passengers were
cut by flying glass.
Among the victims OF the accident
was Miss Florence Greenbaum. daugh.
ter OF q prominent banker and Ernest
Bifeld. son OF Joseph Bifeld. pastor Of
the Sherman hotel.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
An Early Arab Aviator.

A French oriental student has dis
covered surprisingly early record OF
experiments in aviatiQ. The hero Of
the enterprise was one Ibn Firnas. an
Arab Of Spain and physician to the
Khalif Abdurral,man H., who flourish
ed in the ninth century. Renowned
as an inventor as well as q doctor, he
devised clcckwork apparatus by
means Of which he battered himself
that he would be able to rise into the
air like a bird." and a crowd assem-
bled near Cordova to see him try.
He did, 1t seems, actually get OF the
ground, but fell again with great
thud amid the derisive cheers Of the
populace. The story has been found
and pointed out In an Arabic work by
a certain El NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Gazette.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
"loulOl0nA Lou"

The author Of play is the latter
day tyrant OF the theater. in the ex-
perience OF every manager who has
produced plays in the last ten years.
More and More has the playwright
waved In importance with the growth
Of theatricals. until today the estab-
lished author is Of far greater import.
ance in the scheme Of things than
the manager or the actor. An author
who writes q single notable success Is
. mDn with fortune easily within his
grasp. providing his success falls into
the managerial keeping Of q man Of
resources. good judgment, ana know.
ledge Of the theatrical business as it
ought to be.
Now Louisiana Lou" that kind of
q success. although by no means the
first success of any Of the three men
concerned in writing Addison
Burkhardt. Frederick Donahey. and
Hen II. Jerome. 1t Is at the Gennett
Monday, Feb. 10.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
Dents For Womon.

Nine "don'ts" for clubwomen appear
in the year book Of the New jersey
State Federation Of Women's Clubs.
They are:
Don't shop Saturday afternoons.
Don't shop after S p. m.
Don't wear willow plumes (made by
sweatshop child labor.
Don't wear aigrets.. They mean the
destruction of mother birds.
Don't wear long hatpins. They are
dangerous to others.
Don't dress too deliberately for club
affairs. We want women in club work
who cannot afford to dress deliberately.
Don't be too critical In small things
or large. Remember your own mis-
takes when you are doing things;
therefore Be helpful.
Don't work for frills. but for solid
results.
Don't Be undigni6ed or Try to ct ~
suits because OF your rex.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13

This ID the season Of the year when
mothers feel very much concerned ov-
or the frequent colds contracted by
their children. and have abundant rea-
son for it as every cold weakens the
lungs. lowers the vitality and paves
the way for the more serious diseases
that SO often follow. Chamberlain q
Cough Remedy Is famous for its cures,
and Is pleasant and safe to take. For
sale by all dealers.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
Luncheon served at Pyth-
ian Temple Thursday, IL to 1.
Oyster Supper from $40 to
Z p. m.
Woekheuse Mussums.

Several Of the great London work
houses have remarkable museums at
tached to them. In a south London
union museum can be found = clergy
mans letters OF ordination (the owner
died in the house, and peculiar belt
made by human teeth and brought from
the west coast Of Africa. But perhaps
the most significant Of all the things
shown Is small pocket dice box.
Upon the box is neatly cut, This box
and other wagering cost me $4,000
and brought ME to the workhouse. -.
London Telegraph
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
Men With 0rsen Hair.

Cooper is scarce" said a broker,
''but there is still enough Of it left to
turn the copper workers hair green"
"His hair green?"
"Precisely. In those copper districts
where the ore is Of a low grade it is
roasted in open furnaces to refine it
and make It more marketable. A gas
emanates from the furnaces that turns
the hremen's hair a bright green, this
arsenic green that the firen,en's hair
takes on.
$50 If you ever see q man with
green hair you can say. Ia Sherlock
Holmes:
There, my dear Watson, Is . cop
per furnace tender"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
UnAOSumjno,

Gus De Smith-Do you know my IA
Their, Miss Birdie? Miss Birdie-I new
er met him. but I believe he Is a very
modest. unassuming sort of man. Gus
De Smith-You're right. You can get
some kind Of an idea Of how unosten-
tatious lie Is when tell you he does
not brag about having me for q son.
Pearson's Weekly.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13

bank president, John Emerson, an
easy-going financier OF the old school
turns over the affairs of the institu-
ton of which he has so long been the
respected head, to his son, Wilbur
Emerson, a speculative catapult, who
careers wildly for a brief time, but is
brought up sharply on charges of
crOOkedness.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
At the Lyric

The Haba.Haba fire eater at the
Lyric theater is creating quite a little
excitement. The Haba-Haba fire eater
will be at the Lyric tonight and We'd
nesday. Along with the added feature
the Lyric will show Cardinal Farley
Wednesday night. This picture takes
Cardinal Farley from a little before he
ia made Cardinal until after his return
home including the great welcome
when he returned.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
A Request.

II shall never forget" says the emf
nent man Of wealth during the course
Of his little speech on "How to Become
as Am" II shall never forget how
saved my first hundred dollars"
At this juncture a weary individual
in the audience, who has heard this
story many times and has read it
many times more, interrupts:
"Well, If you can't forget 1t, for
heavens sake give the rest Of us a
chance tO."-Chicago Post.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
WIRES ACCEPTANCE
TO MAKE ADDRESS
tNational News Association

(N1t1onal news A8YOc1Atf0ny
COLUMBUS. Ohio, Feb. 13.-Theo-
dcre Roosevelt wired an accept
ance Of the invitation to address the
constitutional convention here Febru-
airy 21st. The announcement caused
keen anticipation among his follow
ers here.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
Crust Of tko Earth.

According to scientists. the earthS
- lid crust. with q specific gravity Of Is
as against ST for the entire globe
crust ard liquid or semi-liquid interior
consists Of the various elements in the
following proportions by weight: Oxy-
gen. 47s9 per cent: silicon. 21-9l: aiu-
minimum. 1.S1: iron. 5.4s;: calcium SIT;
magnesium, 2.tS: sodium. go; pOtassf
um. 2.4O: hydrogen. OF; titanium. 035:
carbon. Oh: cAlorine. DOL: phospho-
rus. 010: manganese. COS: yulphuT,
O.O8; bariun, 0o3; chromium, DOL
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
A Friendly Tin

Sapleigh-WOuld you-er-advise me
to-er-marry beautiful girl or sen
sible girl? Hammersley-rm afraid
you'll never be able to marry either,
old man. Sapleigh-Why not? Ham
mersley-well, a beautiful girl could
do better and a sensible girl would
know better.-Exchange.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
THE Gamblers"

1.-THE Gamblers" Charles klein's lat
est play. will pass In review before To-
cal theatergoers at the Gennett to-
night.
The principal characters in "The
Gamblers" are five bank directors. q
federal attorney and his wife. The
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
The RI Tree.

An Australian tree called tt contains
q substance from which, If its chemi-
cal composition could be altered frac-
ton. it would be possible to extract
vanillin. the havoring used in vanilla
ice cream and chocolates.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
"or. Beans From Boston,"

This season the famous Smart Set"
company will feature 8. Fl. Dudley, the
clever c0lored comedian and funmak-
Or. In live and up-to-the-minute mus
zeal comedy In three acts, entitled
Doctor Beans from Boston" The new
play will be the attraction at the Gen.
nett theater Saturday matinee and
night.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
CRAZED BY DRINK:
MURDERS HIS WIFE


ALBANY. n. Y. Feb. 1S.- Atone
Mathes, Is. strangled his wife. Marie,
to death in their home early today.
walked to his brothers house nearby
told of the crime. returned and got
in bed with the corpse. He had been
drinking. He was arrested.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
Al They Could Find

"What's all that noise in the next
room?'
my wife and three Of her girl
friends are trying to play whist with
only forty-seven cards in the pack
Louisville Courier Journal.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13

Wednesday. Feb. 14.--Cardinal Fal
ley picture at the Lyric.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13

The United States uses 800, OOO, 900
lead pencils every year.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
AZ Coliseum.
Al 0aelham.
Al the Lyric

March 6th-Shenk recital, Lindley
Hall.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13
AnuSen1entS
THEATRICAL CALENDAR.
~ the Gonnott.

ToniKht-"The Gamblers"
Feb. 17-"Dr. Beans From Boston"
Feb. 1O.-"Louisiana Lou"
At The Murray
All Week Vaudeville.
A. Coliseum.
Feb. 12.13--The Rcy Sisters.
Feb. 2S-Symphony orchestra con
cert.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-02-13

A Complies History Of the
Chin1m1n 1t tiome and
Abroad, Educational, lnter-
estin0 and Sensational, with
4 Detailed Lecture Through
out by Prof. Geo. W. Smiley.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1912-06-13
BEST ROADS IN THE WORLD.
The Splendid System In France That
Has Brouoht This About.

In France. where they have the best
roads of any country in the world. the
highways are divided into several
classes, but all Of them are supervised
by the national government. which
maintains bureau of roads and
bridges and supports school for the
education Of the engineers and inspect
ors who are employed in the bureau.
This method Of building and main
tanning roads in France was started by
the first Napoleon. who appears TO
have been the earliest European states
man who clearly saw the economic adj
vantage of proper highways and VINO
at the same time had the power to car
ry out what he wished. The effect OF
these good roads in France has been
wonderful. They have brought all OF
the various parts Of the country nearer
together. they have made country lie
less lonesome. and they have reduced
the cost of transportation Of country
produce to a minimum France is the
only country in Europe where the agrl-
cultural classes are not dissatfsneu
and where they do not feel that they
have y harder time than those VINO Ia
Dor in other fields.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1912-06-13
THE MUD NUS s..ssss ON
OILED MACADsM ROADS.
A Question That is -Perpisxino Road
Engineers.

With the coming of summer mu
n1c1pal engineers have brought again
before them the perplexing question
which has been giving many of them
gray hairs for several seasons past;
What shall we do this season to cope
with the dust nuisance on ma.ada mixed
streets?
Probably the most generally adopt
ed plan has been the sprinkling of the
macadam with some asphatic oil. 1t
has been demonstrated that where
horse drawn traffic does not predomi
nate such sprinkling is success in
preventing >disintegration and undue
wear by building up rubbery traffic.
mat on top of the stone
But in escaping from the chorus of
complaints of the dust nuisance the
engineer runs foul Of new set of nro.
tests from indignant citizens who fini
carriage varnish. clothing and floor
coverings ruined by the black, greasy
mud which covers these roads after
every hard rain
The cause of this nuisance has been
varlously explained. but the condition
has seldom been remedied. 1t has now
been shown that asphatie oils and wa
ter will form an emulsion whenever
coiloldal matter like clay is added
This is what happens to the asphalt
bound traffic mat under the soaking Of
rain and the kneading of traffic. Con
siderable loan and litter are carried
On to the road in the course of ordi-
nary traffic. and the rain and wheels
complete the process After the rain
has ceased the emulsion gradually dries
out. and the traffic mat eventually be-
comes as effective as before. but it is
again converted to mud by the next
heavy storm. When the mat contains
a large proportion Of bitumen and is
dense and rubbery this emulsifying is
delayed. but only delayed When the
mat grows older and so much dirt and
litter have been ground into it that the
proportion of bitumen is lowered. then
its earlier water shedding qualities are
lost and its surface is Shiny. slippery
and nasty after every shower.
Several remedies are conceivable,
but practical objections arise to all Of
them. For instance. before applying
the binder great care must be paid to
removing the last traces Of fine dust
and litter and in throwing on gravel.
small stone or screenings as filler.
The finest dust is to be discarded.
Moreover this filler must be of ma
terial not easily reduced to an impal-
pable powder under traffic. Every
means must be taken to prevent the
carriage of dirt and litter on to the
traffic mat. as by providing frequent
ly cleaned approaches The I'M
avoidable accumulations Of dirt and
litter must be removed before each
storm. More oil should perhaps be
added from time to time during the
season to keep the bitumen percentage
high and the water shedding qualities
of the mat unimpaired The expense
involved in these measures is obvious.
So impractical. therefore. seem all
the present expedients for preventing
this greasy mud that the trouble seems
like a necessary wet weather evil Of
oiled macadam
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1912-06-13
1--WE Study to Please

Faultfinding may be met in any one
of several ways. The method en-
ployed by the dairyman would not
serve with some people, but apparently
it served with the lady at No. Is.
He had been told on starting out on
the route that No. Is was inclined to
find fault. but that she was a good
be rude to her
''Those eggs you left here yesterday
were stale!' grtinted Mrs. IS on the
dairyman's second visit.
CHOSE eggs" responded the dairy
man bandly, "was laid half an hour
before you had 'em by special quick
laying birds imported from the Moody
Womps Isles, ma'am, and they came
down to this very house by marconi-
gram, so you should have 'em fresh.
A bit of twangy flavor they may have,
but you can rest assured. am, they
weren't stale"
Mrs. Is gasped.
"Well, the milk didn't seem as good
as usual yesterday either" she pur-
sued.
"Well, the boss will be cut up when
he hears thatr' continued the dairy
man. "He sent down to Attorney
a-purpose for d COW that eats nothing
but peaches and pineapples. Never
mind the expense seq he. This cow
we shall keep a-purpose for the lady at
Is, and mind it sleeps on feather bed
at nights he SEE. and don't forget the
eiderdown quilt and the bed socks. :
Was there anything wrong with the
butter, ma'am?'
But Mrs rs shook her head, speech
less.-RehOboth Herald.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1912-06-13
HUMOROUS QUIPS
A Glance Ahead.

It's going to be dull when the campaign 8
DER
And the wires don't sag with the wise
ones lore.
When the circle swingers go home to stay
And nobody mentions that houn' dawg
lay
When the papers quit sending their cubs
TO see
How the speeches of A. are affecting B..
When nobody argues on Schedule K
AS the crowded trolley speeds on it's way.
When nobody's using the vitriol crop
In the hope Of making one voter flop"
When nobody pays three bucks per plate
70 starve while the Iimelght sons crate,
When none to a Pullman will push his
way
To glimpse a celebrity. negligee.
It's going to be dull when no voters gate
Is decked with the form of candidate.
When his hands not wrung from morn
till night
Nor his ear drums soothed with song
polite.
When news from the rival warriors tents
Quits crowding out all the sport events,
When nobody is being manhandled, failed
And likewise stiettoed and exc assailed.
When nobody mentions the double cross
And nobody's working that worn word
boss.
When there's pause to- the unearned in
crement
OF the landlords who advertise Halls to
Rent
going to be duH-that much is true
say. does the prospect brighten you?
Denver Republican.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1912-06-13
RECALLING the Curate's Eqq.

Ralph A. Cameron. who was defeat
ed for election to the United States
senate from Arizona not long ago, once
had an Office boy whose duty it was
every morning to fill with fresh water
a big cooler in the anteroom. Cameron
was very particular that this water
should be fresh every day. One morn
ing he took a drink from the cooler
and then glared at the Office boy.
willie" he demanded sternly, sis
this water fresh?''
eyes, sir" answered the boy with
out meeting Cameron's glance
willie" insisted the boss. 'are you
sure this water Is fresh?'
"Well, sir" qualified Willie. part Of
it is."-Popular Magazine.