Omaha daily bee., 1912-02-19

would probably be
best for me TO curb II and so | will be
grateful to you II you win tell me how
to do So
hesitate to offer my correspondent
the advice he requests. because II seems
a pity to shatter such Il subllmely per-
feet thing as this young mans good
opinion Of himself. Also ! would moi
willingly mar anyhody's happiness, and
can think OF nothing else In the world
that is such bubhling spring OF JOY Ia
ones breast as TO be able to spend ones
time hurting bouquets at ones self
Say what you will, vanity is the root
Of all contentment. As long a. you think
well Of yourself. il doesn't matter but
| ton what other people think OF you. As
| long as you can look In the mirror and
SEQ an Adonis there. so long as you can
puff out your own chest until your but
! tons won't hold. as long as you are alb
sorbed In listening to yourself talk, and
| can laugh at your own jokes, you are
| Just as well off as II YOU were the hand
soonest, clsverest. most successful and
entertaining man in the world,
And u other people think you a dull,
homely. tlresome failure In life, YOU can
afford to snap your fingers at their lack
OF taste and judgment. You can even call
them enyious and jealous. II you want
to add frills to the compliments you pay
yourself.
In this world. where we daily see go
many big people who have done big
things I shouldn't know how TO tell any
one how to maintain an exalted opinion
OF himself. but it's easy enough to tell
one how to acquire a humble opinion
Of his own merits.
on the principle that desperate diseases
demand desperate remedies my first
recommendation to the young man who
desires to be cured Of concelt is heroic
remedy. II Is nothing short Of getting
married. II that doesn't puncture his
balloon, and let all the gas out Of him
nothing else will
No married people are concelted
They can't be. for the institution of
matrimony IL inimlcable to the growth
Of self-csteem. No consOling sprig OF
vanity cDu take root IN that rocky soil.
None 81 us. not even the meekest Of u.s.
have any idea what poor weak. imper-
feet creatures we are until We get mar
riod and have the partner Of our bosom
remind us daily Of our faults and how
far we fall short OF being worthy Of
the perfect being who eondescended to
our iowly estate.
Before marriage We may have thought
that. Ike saul. we lowered head and
shoulders above our fellow man, but
after marriage We realize that We are
the great original human shrimp, and
meme are 50 poor In our own household
rs TO do US reverence. You never hear
Of a married person calling for a sure
cure for oOneeit. lie or she has a home
remedy that always works. and for this
trouble guarantee matTimony as q
specific that never fails.
IT, however. he balks at such severe
treatment as the altar the next best
thing to matrimony for taking the
puffiness out Of mans opinion Of
himself Is to pick out the prettiest and |
brightest and most attractive girl he |
knows-some girl with a reputation as |
a heart smasher-and see how many /
dents he can make in her heart. sly |
word for t. he'll come ont Of the ex- |
nerfence chastened and humber man. |
Some day We will build monuments 70 |
nlrts. have seen a little innocent eyed /
kiiterish girl knock mans whole /
opinion OF himself into cooked hat be- /
fore you could say scat. and turn a 4
pompous eg0tist into a nice. quiet. urob- !
trIstige. respectable citizen.
Another remedy for reducing the
swelling in a mans head Is for him 10 /
measure himself up against the people |
VINO have really done things. They 1
are the true yard measures. the real
standard OF Official weights
You think you're good looking, son.
and sou szliEk and smile hack at your
reflection In the mirror as you shave.
N2E5e you are iaELs-Eicr than the red
headed. I-cc.s.Cd-f2IV. squInt-eyed. hump
sHoliG"-cd fellow On the stool next In
lcuEs In TIE Ofaoe. bai would you get