The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1912-06-29
lEtlnger = Carroll Proprietor..
HAppY SUNDAY AT
BILL NYEs HOME

seldom been excelled for quiet humor:
awake at an unearthly hour on
Sunday morning, after which I turn
over and go TO sleep again. This sec
ond. or beauty sleep. ! find to be al
most invaluable. do IL also with
much more earnestness and expression
than that In the earlier part OF the
night. All the other people in the
house gradually wake up as begin to
get in my more fancy strokes.
BY eight o'clock everybody Is stir
ring. and so get up and glide about In
my BAHAMAS. which make me look al
most like the .Clemenceau Case" In
search OF an engagement.
Mr. Rogers Is going to have me sit
to him In my pajamas for a group of
stafuary. He also wishes to model an
iron hitching post from me.
On waking / at once take TO my tub
and give myself good cold bath.
I then put in my teeth.
After doing some little studies in
chiropody I throw a silk-velvet dress
ing gown over my shoulders and look
at my bright and girlish beauty in a
full-length mirror, comparing the
dimpling curves. as I see them reflect
ed with those shown In the morning
paper.
After reading a little from the chess
column of some good author. I descend
TO the salon and greet my family smil-
ing1y in order to open the day auspic-
ious1y. We all then sing around the
parlor organ a little paean. entitled,
IT'S Funny When You Feel That
Way.
We now go to the breakfast room.
where the children are taught to set
aside the daintiest bits for papa, be-
cause he might die some time, and then
iflWould be a lifelong regret to those
are SHARED .ifas t:.ey did not give
tne tender part of the steer or
the second joint of the hen.
After breakfast, which consists of
chops. hashed brown potatoes, mullins
and coffee, preceded by cantaloupe or
baked beans. we proceed to quarrel
over who shall go to church and who
shall remain at home to keep the cat
tie out OF the corn.
We then go to church, those who
can. at least. whilst the others remain
and read something that is improving
Sometimes shave myself on Sunday
mornings. Then 1t takes me quite a
while to get back into a religious
frame of mind. do not manage very
well in shaving myself. and people who
60 by the house are often attracted by
my yells.
go to church quite regularly and
enjoy the sermon unless 1t is too firm
or personal IL 1t goes into doctrine
too much I am apt to be quite fatigued
at Its end on account of the mental
reservations I have made along thru
1T.
like to go and hear about Gods
love. but am rarely benefited by a
discourse which enlarges upon his
: jealousy. When / am told also that
God spares no pains in getting even
with people, not only do not enjoy
the information. but 1 would sit up till
a late hour at night to doubt 1t.
shake hands with the pastor, and
after suggesting something for him to
preach about on the following Sabbath
I 90 home.
! IN the afternoon go walking IL nc
one calls. We have dinner at 2
o'clock on Sunday. consisting of jerked
beef smothered in milk gravy. This
Is the remove. For side dishes we
have squash or meat pie. We some
times open with soup and then have
clean plates all around, with fowl and
green's. tapering off with some kind OF
rich pie.
After dinner I sometimes nap a lit
tie and then fool with the colt. This
Is done quietly, however. SO as not to
break In upon the devotional spirit OF
the day. After this 1 go for a walk
or converse intelligently with any
foreign powers who may be visiting
our shores.
When walk am generally accom-
panaied by a restless Queen Anne dog,
which precedes me about mile. He
sometimes succeeds in getting himself
disliked by some other dog. and then ]
can observe the fight when 1 catch up
with him.
AS the twilight gathers all seem
ready again for more food and we be-
gin to clamor for pabulum. keeping II
up until either square or round crack
ers and smearcase are produced. These
are washed down with foaming beak-
ers Of sarsaparilla.
As the evening lamp Is now lighted.
produce some good book or PAM
phlets like THE Greatest Thing in the
World and read from it. occasional
ly cutting a child In order to keep ev-
erything calm and reposeful AT 9
o'clock the cat is expelled and the
eight-day clock Is wound up for the
week. Gazing up at the bright cold
stars. after kicking forth the cat, /
realize that another Sabbath has been
filed away in the great brawny bosom
OF the past. and with a little remorse-
ful sight and an incipient sob when 1
think that / am not making a better
record. drive B. fence nail in over the
door latch and seek my library.
which. on being properly approached.
opens and becomes a beautiful couch.
A Chinaman and a negress were