New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-11-01
OvERW WEIGHTED

Among the minor Ills OF life,
That Of dllatory wife
Can scarce be ovcrstated.
A man who waits for every meal
For church md opera comes TO feel
Completely overweighted.
have a wife like that myself.
True, she's a most engaging ELF.
Not given TO beratIns.
But better far occasional strife.
Than TO be bound for all my life
To be a man-in-waiting.
And so. although / love my Kate,
Mine is a most unhappy state.
She never will be hurried.
Scolding is not a bit Of use;
II only serves as an excuse
"Why will you make me iurried?"
At one time made up my mind
Through Reno's courts relief to ind;
No longer I'd call Kate wife!
But, late for once, l missed the train.
She still is mine. although It's plain
She'll always be my late wifel
@. B. NJ.
MY theory" said the eminent student,
Is lThI the NeUub OF MILO was nOlulnH
her dTapery with one OF those lost arms. "
Il see," replied the man who knows
nothing whatever about art; and sig
mailing for taxicab with the other. -
Washington Star.
In one of the theatres in the amuse-
ment section OF this city where every
inch Of space has been utilized the seats
are so arranged that the man who goes
out between the acts ito see what time
It is is liable TO spoil the good humor OF
his neighbors and do injury 10 their feet.
One night last week when the curtain
had been up a few minutes a man OF gi-
gantic build was ushered 10 a vacant
seat few rows from the front. -Four
persons arose and turned back their chair
seats to allow him to pass and then re-
sumed their places. Then the big man,
excusing himself for having caused the
disturbance. sat down also-or rather he
tried to do so and could not. He
squirmed about a few minutes and then
walked out again, the others again rising
to let him pass. In the lobby he spoke
about the Disadvantages OF being "a big
man." disposed OF his ticket and said he
WOuld see lne OUTSIDE snow.
"How's things in Boston,"
II hear they have added a frieze OF
baseball bats TO the Public Library
Pittsburgh Post.
Under the title OF "Bevues, Lapsus, ct
Singularites Litteraires," NJ. Albert Gin
is publishing in La Revue de Paris" an
amusing series of howlers perpetrated,
not by schoolboys. but by the great pam
jandrums OF French literature. 1t APP
pears that hardly one Of the great men
In the phalanX OF nodding Homers es-
capes. First comes Theirs himself with
throughout the day torrents OF rain
poured down and twenty thousand Aus
TRANS bit the dust" The weighty and
erudite lawyer, NJ. Troplong, proclaims in
one OF his sombre tones that I'm the
midst Of many crumbling institutions that
of property stands erect on It's feet. seat
ed upon Justice!" The pen OF the famous
critic. Francisque Sarcey, had its frequent
lapses. ION his helmet waves q missing
plumel" and I'm the tones OF Mile. Ugalde
one recognizes her mothers familiar
handr' for example. NJ. Toussenel, jour-
nslist. naturalist and historian. has a SEN
tence no doubt Of profound ethnogT aphlcal
interest which might perhaps have been
phrased otherwise: The English and
Russian nations, the two greatest powers
In the world. are precisely those In which
the man makes the greatest efforts to re-
camilla the uornan-the Englishman by