davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03
says UNCLE CIV

Haiti Hands up, my feverish
| friend. Don't take life too darned Sc
riously- You seem to feel upon your
poor little shoulders the burden of
the world, and perhaps it's there. But
If you'll just step from under for a
minute you'll find that it doesn't sag
more than an inch or two and if
Youll lie down and rest for a bit
until you get the mist of pain and
NeXatlon out of your eyes you'll no
tlce few hundred million husky
backs holding up the load that you
thought you were carrying all by
yourself.
Pardon, but you're very much in
the same position as the inebriated
gentleman who wendell his way
homeward at 4 a. m. to find his IA
vorite skyscraper Keeling dangerous
ly And like the hero that you are,
he put his shoulder against it and
held it upright until policeman
came and led him away. He was
just as much surprised that the build
ing didn't topple over as you will be
when you find that the world doesn t
sag when you get out of the way.
The trouble with you, my boy, is
that you're drunk-drunk with the
iously and painfully jagged on the
strong drink of conceit. If you were
not sadly befuddled, you wouldn't be
bruising your shoulders to hold up
by foundations reared in the bedrock
of time.
You're taking yourself too seriously.
It's quite right for you to have high
ambitions. It's creditable that you
should be determined to play a man s
part But it would be a mighty good
thing for you to learn first just what
you are trying to do. This life's
good old game if it's played right, and
the first rule of the game is that it
can't be played by a one man team.
There are millions on your side and if
you are ever going to accomplish any
thing you've got to go in for team
work and not try to do it all yourself.
You've got to realize that society
works in shifts and you are only one
little member of one shift-that the
only way to be a captain of the line
is to use your head which you haven't
been doing. The wise man knows that
work is the thing and that in order
to work you must play. Results are
after all, minor considerations.
You've got a lot of friends If you
know how to use them. You can win
if you keep your heart and your head
courage and wisdom. But you can't
keep the one or attain the other by
going in on main strength and awk-
wardnesS-
Use your shoulders less and your
head more. Think a little. rest a
little, play a little and work a good
deal If you do, you'll have less fever
and more Copyright, 1912, by
w E. Williams)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03
AYHAWKER JOTS

The nice thing about being a fool
says the Jewell County Republican, is
that he always thinks he's so wise.
The Pratt Union has discovered that
sit doesn't always require a robust
character to support a strong breath.
The jefferson correspondent of the
South Kansas Tribune closed brief
batch of new notes for last week S
issue of that paper with: Every
body good and nothing doing
D. c. Crone, the Syracuse cores
pondent of the South kansas Tribune,
quotes some rather disquieting infor-
nation from his diary as follows:
April 9, 1S73-Heavy snow storm, 8
inches on the level and drifted badly.
April 81, 18S4-Snowed half the day.
How the recent snowstorms in Kan
sas have forced the readers of many
of the weekly newspapers to delve into
ancient history is explained by the
Palco Enterprise in the following para
graphs: Some of the news in this
paper many sound a little queer as Il
was written three weeks ago and may
not fit the occasion now. Owing to
not having blank paper it has been
held over.
An expression of regret with a word
or two OF consolation from the Wei
come correspondent of the Alta Vista
Journal We were terribly sorry to
hear of the Lid being off in Junction
City, the i'll going on, on the streets
and terrible sorry to think there was
such poor police service but we are
particularly consoled since talking
with the Big Chief" who tells US it
is all in their heads up there on ac-
count of the election, see?
Here is a story the movement
against tin bridges has revived: A
man applied for a job in nursery
He was questioned as to his ability
to the place. He knew the proper
treatment for the young trees. when
to set them out, when to trim them,
when to spray them. Evidently he
would do for the place if he was
versed on grating. do you know
-Jout grafting?" asked the
man who had advertised for help.
'sWeH" the man admitted after an
EN- barrassing pause, Il was county
the year we let so
many contracts for bridges
town Optimist.
An incident in the Toronto Republi-
cans story of the big snowstOrm which
visited the vicinity on March %: And
John Armstrong-Deacon John Arm
strong, was vending his way serenely
homeward, with thoughts of the dear
old days in mind and a bag of eggs
under his arm and-Whacki a snow
ball took the deacon. And the deacon
said "Ouch!" and other words. And
he opened up his bag of eggs and
gave battle and smote the Hittites
from head to heel. And they fed bear
ing evidences of the fine old deacon's
craftsmanship. And this story is told
as warning to naughty boys who
wantonly throw snowballs at deacons.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03

France. Their edict in all kinds OF
fads and fashions is final.
One of the newspapers of Paris has
been interviewing the famous ''nlen-
Killers" of that land en- the merits and
dement's of all kinds of mustaches and
all varieties of whiskers. The unanimi-
ty of sentiment amongst them against
these things is surprising. So far only
one has been found to say a single
word in the defense of the mustache
or the bunch of whiskers. And she
says they are permissible only in men
who have an ugly mouth to hide.
This pronouncement on the part OF
the French women against boards and
anustaches will also necessitate Il re-
vision of an old proverb that was once
popular among the senoritas of Spain.
1t runs. in effect, that a kiss without
a mustache is like an egg without
salt
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03
EVENING CHAT
BIZ RUTH CAMERON.

She means so well that I suppose it is a
shame to find fault with hr, but really
She is the ultra enthusiast.
| Enthusiasm is undoubtedly one of the
qualities that most easily wins popularity.
Everyone likes a man or woman who is a
live and interested and enthusiastic.
That's one of the reasons why we all love
the young folks so-because they haven't
yet lost their enthusiasm.
But just as the balance rises in favor
of a reasonable degree of enthusiasm,
just so low I think it sinks under an I'M
reasonable degree of unnatural and
forced and unnatural" but truly, 1
can't believe that any such abnormal
amount of fervor and emotion as the
ultra-enthusiast displays every occa-
sion is entirely natural and spontaneous.
OF course, you know her type. Every
one does.
She is always in a fervor of enthusiasm
over something other. Sometimes it's
her own affairs, and sometimes it's yours.
She has always just had the loveliest
time. or she has the most interesting
thing to tell you, or she's just found the
most wonderful bargain. Superlatives are
the breath of life to her. She really
couldn't live without them. So are ges-
lures and EXPLANATIONS terms of endear-
ment and continual laughter. She couldn't
any more talk for five minutes without
this sort of an accompaniment than an
ordinary person could talk without
tongue.
You ought to be delighted when her en-
and perhaps you do enjoy it in homeo-
pathic doses But if you ever have 10
take her ALPHABETICALLY, you are sure to be
Sickened.
And all the time she is wondering why.
when she takes such an interest in peo-
pie and means well. they don't like her
better-that is, if she is a person of suf-
ficient discernment to know that they
don't.
Poor creature. She is one of the most
pitiable examples of wasted energy [
know of. Half that enthusiasm would be
delightful and would probably win her
the popularity for which she longs so
eagerly. Whereas the whole sum of it is
wearing and firing, and drives people
away or makes them laugh at her.
Isn't it too bad that she has not some
friend who loves her well enough to be
kindly cruel and open her eyes to that
waste of energy?
Perhaps she has.
Perhaps I am talking to some such
friend even now. and he she has already
decided to be brave enough to try to help,
tactfuly If possible, decisively anyway.
L sincerely hope so.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03

and she had not been able to go &c
MIN. He had died believing her cruel
and unforgiving and relentless! When
she could pull herself together she arose
and dragged her aching limbs to the
telephone. She called up the hospital
md asked for Miss Trueheart. Miss
Trueheart was ION duty and she
falteringly inquired of the girl at the
phone when Ut. Ogden had died.
oh she gasped, ''not-not dead.
Getting well-ahl Thank you so much;
was misinformed. Goodby." Mar
gerry never knew how she got out the
Words-or how she got back to her
room. The first thing Of which she was
conscious was of sitting before her
desk pen in hand.
Dear Dwight: tt have just return
ed from Macon, Ga, after a six weeks
visit. On my arrival at the house
found letter from the girl who nurs-
ed you, Miss Trueheart, telling me OF
your serious illness. 1t was written the
day you were expected to die and she
now why I did not.
Dear, can you ever forgive me:
| have been narrow, prejudiced, mean
But I have suffered. You don't know
the price I've paid, Dwight-all these
wretched weeks and today when l
thought I had lost you.
There's nothing 1 can write. moth
ing I can say, to excuse myself And
I'm not going to try. After the way
1 acted and talked that last night, of
course you could never ask me to mar
ry you again. But-but it is leap year,
dear, and I am going to ask you. Ny
people are getting ready to sail for
Paris in ten days. 1 can be ready
for the other-in a week. AS in the
old days. MARGERY."
"P. S.-After all. we are only sec
ond cousins.''-( Copyright, 1912, by AS
ISOLATED Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03
GLOBE SIGHTS
BY THE ATCHIsOE GLOBE

So far as we know, a horse never eats
horseradish.
A rude man likes to speak of a polite
person as a hypocrite-
If a man is good to his family most of
his faults will be overlooked.
A boy outgrows a good many of his
heroes as we'll as his Sunday suits.
Talk with any man long enough, and
you will find the subject he is cranky
about
There is a good deal more sympathy in
this world than the umpire is led to be-
lieVe.
If YOU can do your work and not half
try, you should look around for little
more work.
Economy won't help you much if it
doesn't reach any further than saving
the coupons.
Those wall flowers you hear about
didn't get that appellation because they
are so blamed ornamental
The silliest custom in this glorious land
is the way people who have quarreled re
fuse to speak to each other.
An Atchison man and his wife are such
staunch admirers of their pastor that
they have named their new calf LII
liam" after the pastors wife.
There used to be an old deacon in the
church I attended as a boy who put a 5
much pep in his 'amens If he had
been coaching a ball team for ninth in
ming rally''-Rufe Hoskins.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03
Where Lutherans BIazed the Way

Although the Lutherans are thought
to be slow, their record shows a com
mendable pace, and here are a few
instances:
First to prepare Protestant preach
ers who spread the gospel in Scot
land. England, Norway, Denmark,
France, Italy, Holland. etc.
First to send out foreign mission
aries to Finland, Iceland. Greenland
and East India.
Faith"-the Augsburg Confession
1880. From which the Episcopalians
got their Thirty-nine articles. From
this the Methodists got their creed.
the use of the people in public wor-
ship, together with the choral tunes.
From this the Scotch got their first
hymn book, the English theirs.
First to shed their blood in defence
of the Protestant faith. In the Small
cald war. 1916 to 1852. and in the
Thirty Years War, 1918 to 164S.
First to found a Protestant university
at Hamburg.
First in orphanage-at Halle, Aug
ust Herman Francke. founder.
First in Bible societies-the Won
Canstein Bible Institute hundred
years before the British Bible Society.
First in numbers-the largest Pro-
testant Church in the world-seventy-
five million members.
First in languages the
gospel in more languages than any
other church.
First in New York with the Hol-
landerS.
First to buy land from the Indians.
and live in peace with them-long
before William Penn.
First 1.-The Mother Church of the Re
formation" 1.-The Mother of Protest
antism," the most conservative and
substantial denomination in the world,
the thinker, the book-maker, and the
educator of the worId.-St. Marks
OnarterIv
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03
QUAKER fluctuations.
[From the Philadelphia Record I


Dink-"What are you kicking about
She said you were the light of her life =
Gink-"Yes, but 1 got turned down.
Sam-'Jack looked very happy today.
anything very important happen?" Ham
well, I should say; the lucky chap
found a deaf-mute barber
Mother-.You must not bother them
Gladys says Cholly is very lovesick. ;,
Father-"Huh; it must be one of those
lingering illnesses we hear so much
about.
The dressmaker was old and worn and
had seen better days; her girlish charms
were not forlorn and she needed many
stays Yet every man who got her bill
forgot her loss of vigor and swore quite
long in a direful song that hers was a
trim figure
Mrs. Bifem-'I don't speak to Charlie
any more Mrs. keepimnot- What's
the troubIe?" Mrs. Biffem-'The young
pup had the impudence to say my hus-
band must be very happy when told him
was far from well and did not act like
myself"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03
Boards MUST GO.

Something that has all the ear
marks of being death knell has been
sounded at last against hirsute adorn-
ments on the faces of men. For some
time back, a number of the newspaper
wits have been banded together in a
vigorous crusade against mustaches,
boards, goatees, vandykes, muttonchops
and sideburns, or boards Or whatever
they are, ithout much success hav-
ing attended their efforts. To be sure,
there seems to be more bald-faced mer
nowadays than formerly, but it would
probably be difficult to get any one
of them to admit that he had beer
Influenced ir that direction by news
paper clamor. Newspapers are with
out any influence whatsoever on the
minds and actions of men. So contend
.he astute Politicians-when the news
papers happen to be against them.
However, the newspaper warriors
against the antique custom of a man
covering all or any of his face with a
permanent growth of hair cut in fanci-
full designs, have at last obtained an
effective ally in this, one of the most
righteous reforms that they have ever
urged Not even one guess is needed
as to who or what this ally is. The
women of course. And the women of
France in the bargain. That settles
the question. The mustaches, the
boards, the COATES ct al, are sure to
disappear as if by magic. When the
women speak the world stands at at
tention. This is more particularly
true whan the women tell of their
ideals in manhood. Most men seem
to live for the primary purpose of at
tracing and holding the attention of
at least one woman. Many of them
are not so exclusive. The more wo-
men that will smile on them the bet
ter they like it. And so when the
women decree against hairy appendages
on the faces of the males of the spe-
cies, it is a foregone conclusion that
the cecree viii be obeyed forthwith.
Such judgment, too, is all the strong
er when It comes from the women Of
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
TFrom the Chicago News.l


Back talk is a great quarrel promoter
A liberal minded man is one who thinks
the way you do.
homemade haircut.
Uneasy lies the head that sports a
In trying to carve his fortune many 4
man uses poor tools.
It's easy for a girl to believe a man is
a hero because he isn't.
Cosmetics are great help to a woman
who wants to fool a man.
All men are born free and equal, but
most women are slaves to fashion.
Some people fail to practice what they
preach because they need the money.
1t isn't the good time woman has that
counts with her; it's the telling of it.
Some people go through life waiting for
a chance to get even with somebody else.
Nothing ever surprises a newly married
man after he gets used to seeing his wife
take off her hair.
A woman who worked the leap year
privilege four years ago says it is much
easier to get attached to a husband than
it is to get detached from one.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03
ITFTNITY.

INFTNITY.
lnfinity, the heavy mist
That slowly, imperceptibly,
Recedes before our cropping hands,
As step by step most warily
We tread the only half seen ground.
We turn for guidance whence we came;
The fog drift 'gainst the straining face.
Our own paths? Look! The gulf that
yawnedI
OF our last footsteps, not a trace.
The cloud hung chasm breathes no sound.
Only the records in our hands,
Only a fitful memory
Are left of all the world that was,
False prophets of the world to be,
To which our stumbling steps now lead,
Some urged by dread. some led by hope,
Onward we move into the gray,
Darkness and silence all around,
Voices and light just for today;
Thought knows not certainty nor speed.
Sun, moon or stars illume the hour,
Yet shed no light there, just before,
AS lamps a tiny circle show
Upon a bleak, black silent moor,
Where darkness presses back the eyes,
From dusk to dusk, one step ahead,
Once glance behind, and that is all;
A working with the Seen until
The Unseen sounds its voiceless call;
The ending of one long surm1se-
Donald r. Richberg, in the Boston
Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03
HUNOR or THE DAY

Puffs and Puffs.-He-My dear, you
spend too much money in false hair. Look
at your puffs. She-And you spend too
much in cigars. Look at your pufrs.-
Bright Bits.
Say" began the determined looking
man, II want a good revolver" Yes,
SIR said the salesman; "a six-shooter?'
''Why-er-you'd better make It nine
shooter. I want to use it on a cat next
door "-Philadelphia Press.
Mr.. Nagg (angrily)-Oh, when you get
started in to talk, there's no end to it.
Mrs. Nagg-That's not true and you
know it. Mr.. Nagg-Well, I was wrong,
/ admit there is an end to 1.-THE start
ing end.-Boston Transcript.
Mother-Fritz, I thought I told you q
little while ago not to make that noisel
Fritz-This is quite different noise.
mummy. The first was with drum and
this is with a trumpet.-F,legende Blaet-
ter.
pa what's the difference between a
mortician and undertaken They
both do the same kind of work, son, but
I am inclined to think a mortician will
charge more."-Birmingham Age-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03
JOURNAL ENTRIES

If you would keep a friend never
nod agreement when he is confess
ing a fault.
X
Not infrequently, a sport wears a
fancy vest of the SIS variety over a 80
cent shirt.
y
Chicken pie is generally conspicu-
Gus for the bulk of its crust and the
scantiness of its filling
X X Ss
When the women get running
things, they'll probably pass a law
prohibiting milliners from selling dup
y e
AS a matter of fact was there ever
a man who told his wife as an excuse
for being out late that he'd been SIT
ting up with a sick friend?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03
FROM OTHER pEKS

ANOTHER SPECIALISTS DILEMMA
The Socialist mayor of Lorain ap-
pears to be experiencing somewhat the
same trials a came earlier in the year
to the Socialist mayor of Lima. Tn
able to get the results he wanted from
his service director, the Lorain eXecu-
tive has now summarily dismissed him
and appointed a Republican in his
place. 1t is expected that his act Will
cause a split in the Socialist party in
the steel town, which will be bad for
the party, possibly bad for the city
Socialists. like others, learn wisdom
by experience in office. Accidentally
considered it may look like a good
plan for the mayor of a city of 10000
to refer questions of public policy to
his party leaders for determination. In
practice, however, it becomes neces-
sary for the mayor to act independent
ly, to shoulder responsibility for his
important acts and to sink or swim on
the issue.
Possession of an important office
changes ones conceptions of its eXac-
lions. The free and easy methods or
the party smoker will not run big
executive office satisfactorily. \
mayor who finds himself hampered by
partisan conditions does wisely to cast
them off.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03

decision has been reached by the
city commissioners to cut down the
useless posts and poles that are prom
inent on some of the streets and al
leys. The Western Union telegraph
poles on Kansas avenue which hide
many of the lights on the east line
of the White Way are not affected by
this order. They appear to be so ex-
ceedingly useful to the telegraph
company that it has failed to obey the
order for their removal which was is
sued by the city commissioners sever
al months ago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03

dog succeeded in killing the tiger.
The only defect to this story is that
there are no tigers in either North,
South, East or West Africa. In fact,
tigers are to be found only in Asia
and on some of the larger islands
off its coast.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03
DAFFYDLLS
BY u. NoALL,

Because st. Paul is mentioned in the
Bible that not saying Minneapolis.
please take your troubles to the Uni
versity of Copenhagen
If China is a republic is real estate?
(And one of the best ways to get
ahead is to raise lettuce-)
If Baron Trenck and the Quaker Girl
took a trip around the world would
Monsieur Beaucaire?
(Get your tickets for the concert after
the big show. ALI for a dime-ten
cents.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-04-03
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
[From the New York Press.I

[From the New York Press
A girl gets a very fine figure think
ing so.
Anything in love is fair for a woman
except to marry the man.
A man really entitled to have a good
opinion of himself hardly ever does.
It's a great shock to new celebrity to
find there's another right after him.
When woman's hair begins to fall out
at So she knows it's because all her fam
ily begin to lose theirs so young.
The deserving poor do not always de-
serve to be.