davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1912-04-09
THE VIEWS OF THE UNIVERSITY

The views of the University are
expressed by the curators of the
University or by the president of the
University or other person speaking
for the curatorS No one. speaking
without such authority. has the
right to express the views of the
University.
The individuals who are for the
time associated with the University
as students or members of the facul-
" may. on proper occasion. express
their opinions or views upon mooted
questions or views. They may or
may not coincide with the opinions
or views of the University.
Ii is absurd to hold the University
responsible for the views of indi-
yidual students or individual teach
ers upon non-Tniyersity subjects.
The University takes no part iii par
tisan politics. This does not pre-
clude its students or teachers from
cspOusing the cause of Smith for
president or Jones for governor.
Even if Smith and Jones had a ma
jority of the University students and
teachers supporting them. this
would not. in any degree. commit
the University TO their support.
What is true in respect To the
support of candidates is true in re-
gard To the advocacy of causes. The
University may justly be held res
ponsible for the action of the institu-
tion. Its teachers and students.
Improperly free to hold opinions or ad-
pcate causes. do not commit the
iv.rsity for or against any cause.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1912-04-09
Echoes of Yesterday


DR.. Smaller Mathews. editor of
The World Today. addressed the stu
dents at assembly here. He was on
a visit To his sister. Mrs. II. :. Phil
brick
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1912-04-09
Twenty Years Ago.

One company advertised that it
had put away enough ice from lakes
TO supply the town until winter
came.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1912-04-09

Three hundred medical and den
tai students fought three hours in
a laboratory at an Omaha college.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1912-04-09

PhEnny Fellow was the comic pa
per of the day.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1912-04-09
Thirty Years Ago.

A fat boy-he weighed .opn
buried in Chicago.
Fifty Years Ago.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08
CHAPTER xlx-(Continued).

And a lady who was evidently Mrs.
Deacon spoke up:
Wen miss you terrible. We all
say you are the best pastor our church
ever had"
Mallory prepared to spring on his
prey and drag him to his lair. but
Marjorie held him back.
Hes taking our train, Lord bless
his dear old soul"
And Mallory could have Rugged him.
But he kept close watch. To the rap
ture of the wedding-hungry twain, the
preacher shook hands with such of his
flock as had followed him to the sta
ton, picked up his valise and walked
up to the porter, extending his ticket.
But the porter said-and Mallory
coud have throttled him for saying it:
"Scuse me, poison, but that's yo'
train ova yonda. You BETA move right
smaht, for it's gettin ready to pull
out"
With a little shrek Of dismay, the
parson clutched his valise and set off
at a run. Mallory dashed after him
and Marjorie after Mallory. They
shouted as they ran, but the conductor
OF the east-bound train sang out All
aboard" and swung on.
The parson made a sprint and
caught the ultimate rail of the moving
train. Mallory made frantic leap at
flying coat-tail and missed. AS he
and Marjorie stood gazing reproach.
fully at the train which was giving a
beautiful illustration of the laws of re.
treating perspective, they heard wild
hoWls Of Hi! hi" and Hay! hayu
and turned to see their own train in
motion, and the porter dancing @
Zulu step alongside.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08
CHAPTER Xxx.
Fooled Again.


Mallory tucked Marjorie under his
arm and Marjorie tucked Snoozleums
under hers, and they did a sort of
three-legged race down the platform.
The porter was pale blue with excite
ment, and it was with the last gasp of
breath in all three bodies that they
scrambled up the steps Of the only
open vestibule
The porter was mad enough to give
them piece of his mind, and they
were meek enough to take it without
word of explanation or resentment.
And the train sped on into the
heart Of Nebraska, along the unpoetic
valley of the Platte. When lunch
time came, they ate it together, but
In gloomy silence. They sat in Mar
1orie's berth throughout the appalling.
ly monotonous afternoon in a stupor
Of disappointment and helpless dejec-
ton, speaking little and saying moth
ing then.
whenever the train stopped, NAL
Tory watched the on-getting passen-
gers with his keenest eye. He had a
theory that since most people who
looked like preachers were decidedly
lay, 1t might be we'll to take a gam.
bler's chance and accost the least
ministerial person next.
So, In his frantic anxiety, he select.
ed horsey.looking individual who got
on at North Platte. He looked SO
much like rawhided ranchman that
Mallory stole up on him and asked
him to excuse him, but did he happen
to be clergyman? The man replied
by asking Mallory If be happened to
be flea-sitten maverick, and embel.
lished his question with a copious flow
Of the words ministers use, but with
secular arrangement Of them. In
fact he split one word in two to insert
double-barrelled curse. All that NAL
lory could do was to admit that he
was a fea-bitten what-he-said, and
back away.
After that, II a vicar in full uni
form had marched down the aisle
heading a procession Of choir-boys
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08
Copyright, 1911, by Ii. K. Fly GO.
SYNOPSIS.

Lieut.. Harry Mallory is ordered TO the
Philippines. He and Marjorie Newton
decide to elope but wreck Of taXicab pre-
vents their seeing minister on the way to
the train. TransCOntinental train is TAX
ing on passengers Porter has a lively
time with an Englishman and Ira Lath-
rop, a Yankee business man. The clippers
have an exciting time getting to the
train. Little Jimmie Wellington, bound
for Reno to get a divorce boards train
In maudin condition, Later Mrs. Jimmie
appears. She is also bound for Reno with
same object. Likewise Mrs, Sammy whit
comb. Latter blames Mrs. Jimmie Tor
her marital troubles. Classmates OF NAL
lory decorate bridal berth. Rev. and Mrs.
Temple start on a vacation. They decide
to cut loose and Temple removes evidence
Of his calling. Marjorie decides 10 let
Mallory proceed alone. but train starts
while they are lost in farewell. Passen-
gers join Mallorys classmates IN giving
couple wedding hazing. Marjorie Is dis
traCted. Ira LathrOp, woman hating
bachelor, discovers an old sWeetheart
Anne Cattle. a fellow passenger. Nal
lory vainly hunts for a preacher among
the passengers. Mrs. Wellington hears
Little Jimmie's voice Later she meets
Mrs. Whitcomb Mallory reports to Mar
iorie his failure to find a preacher. They
decide to pretend a quarrel and Mallory
finds a vacant berth. Mrs. Jimmie discoV-
ers Wellington on the train Mallory
again makes an unsuccessful hunt for a
preacher DR.. Temple poses as a phNsi-
clan. Mrs. Temple Is induced by Mrs.
Wellington to smoke cigar.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08
Truly a "Nervy" Youth

A New York barber says he has
discovered the nerviest man alive, He
Is young yet, but when he is fully de-
veloped with mature growth OF
nerve he will be startling prodigy.
This fellow came into my shop the
other day" said the barber, "and
asked me to shave his neck. speed.
lily accomplished the gentle task, and
called out, Next While was ad.
justing a towel around the neck of
the next customer / saw the other
youth going out the door.
Haven't you forgotten some
thing?' | asked him.
HE felt in his pockets and said he
had all that belonged to him.
81 mean you forgot to pay me fol-
that shave
PAY for that! Just shaving nv
neck!' he said, with establishment =
never heard Of paying for so little a
thing as that. could have done II
myself with my safety razor, only
couldn't reach back there"
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08
Texas Doctor Has Gentle Art OF
Correctly Initiating the
SibiIant Whirr
TAKEN AS WARNING
Much Excitement Caused by an Anus.
ing Demonstration of Ophldian Ac-
pIishments-One BacchanaIian
Friend Takes Il Seriously.

tJorc+or ToxNore othar of +ha
1910 ou,o :, ~ roro nc .bo+ - oor
&C.,. io,ito.inr .ho oihIon. u.hir. 81
. rott,oonoko cuob ic the oninion ..
oil aro,tO ne Dr q n Custnr of IN.
nata conntv He claims. in fact to
no tho only human heing who ever
made the snake noise so perfectly as
N daceiva evan the deadly and furtiye
dismondhack Of the lower Rio Grande
and lure him anorousIv from his Iair
IN snake wooing times
noro ~ Tho mint however there
uoo coma ovoitomant in one If the
vol knnur hoteI harc of Houston the
o.hor dow uhor Dr Custer made an
o,n 5oroon.+rot;on of biO onbi
Sinn observation-disclosures Nohodv had
49,. n.y. n.ioo not ovop tho nriestc
80 oaol,+o. of Tho low altar and II
oon,o s,ddor,v ond rnovnected
u;.o,
Do''04 0u''e4 10 q So 1870. "a ~, ,N, 49,
anu Soon go one pa. .isUi s-,s va"
n
.A''t,all"l t0A'pe "N-' .od,a 49,
-, - soa.od bic noruoo in
vO0 ,. ,...,. ,.t.,S 49,
'No 'N"nN ''Ns' ''.''0 ..,N
~ 'ni0 o4i4n"'e ~ "p' W. 'N
DoeIo' Ou''ei'
M, WIN on "Il--'s .I
PelSep'AptS HUN soHio " HSiO oO"H
d., 'no ep1''oono a.t"o Spiup rs, .
ne noiHo was innoIen enoeN, wv
.heie ""1 q e0nei", CIV s'1o anD
oiil INC oai IN ''ie III III VI 40000iNe
Ta Il 49, ' tou. ,ooua .,o no;.o
eN 'ne O@i 'snu1. H' - WV -O'.U
anu n'lu 'tepp.u a 49, I p,po W
,Io n m". ~ H'ei 10y : .rns
e "'.9
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08

Courts are handy institutions. There
was man who lost his dog-run over
by a railroad train. The owner sued
and got 5000 damage, the Judge in his
ruling saying the dog at the time OF
the accident was Exercising ordinary
care and diligence" Great dog that!
Then there is that noted tenor out
east. who left New York for Quebec,
and caught a severe cold in the Pull
man, which so disabled his voice that
he failed to fill several very big-pay-
ing engagements, so he sues the rail-
road company for $4,000 damages. A
Chicago dressmaker sued a woman
for making dress. The woman re-
fused to pay because the dress was
not in style. says the Ohio State Jour
nal.. Especially did she object to the
V-shaped guimpe in the back, which
she said was impossible The court
had to adjourn the case over to learn
what 1t was that made a dress impos-
sible. We haven't seen one yet. So
here on one page of a newspaper are
a dog, tenor voice and V-shaped
yuimpe before the courts.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08
"Whir-r-r-r," Again, Sharpened an
and More Prolonged.

get serious, and there was no telling
what complications in the general en-.
tente might have finally arisen had
proceedings proceeded much further.
Doctor Custer, however, suddenly
looked at his watch and remembered
ne had an appointment.
A few seconds after he left the
place the bar telephone rang.
Let me speak to Smith," came the
request over the phone when the bar.
tender placed the receiver to his ear.
Smith Is the gentleman who Just
cropped his glass when the snakes got
after him"
Inc gentleman here called Smith"
Tor convenience. placed the receiver
TO his ear and suddenly dropped 1t with
such celebrity that 1t almost broke the
cord.
There's a short circuit in there, "
ne exclaimed, red and confused. Il
got an awful shock in my ear"
One after another of those present
cautiously placed the receiver to their
ears. In each instance came distinct.
ly over the phone shrill "whirr-r-r-r."
Then finally: That's all right, boys.
It's only me. am the only man who
can make a noise like a rattlesnake.
Yours, Doctor Custer"
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08
CHAPTER XXI.
Matrimony to and Fro.

And the next morning they were in
Wyoming-well toward the center of
that State. They had left behind the
tame levels and the truly rural towns
and they were among foothills and
mountains, passing cities of wildly
picturesque repute, like Cheyenne, and
Laramie, Bowie, and Medicine Bow,
and Bitter Creek, whose very names
imply literature and war whoops, COW.
boy yelps, barking revolvers, another
redskin biting the dust, cattle STAN
pedes, town-paintings, humorous
lynchings and bronchos In epileptic
frenzy.
But the talk of this train was con-
cerned with none Of these wonders,
which the novelists and the maya.
zinist have perhaps a trifie overpub-
lished. The talk of this train was con.
cerned with the eighth wonder of the
world, a semi-detached bridal couple.
Mrs Whitcomb was eager enough to
voice the sentiment of the whole POD.
ulace, when she looked up from her
novel In the observation room and,
nudging Mrs. Temple, drawled: Spy
the way. my dear. has thSt bridal
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08
the RICE BELT JOURNAL
WELSH PIG. CO., LTD, Pubs.
WELSH. LOUISIANA
THE EVIL OF SIMPLICITY.

At the conference Of the Eastern
Millinery association one of the prin-
cipal addresses was on 1.-The Evil OF
Simplicity in Millinery" The presi-
dent recommended in his report,
among other things, that press COM
mittee see to it that more information
about millinery be furnished the pub
lie prints. At the banquet in the eve
ning Chief Justice Russell delivered
an address on "The Triumph OF,
Truth" These three things should be
considered together. Simplicity has
many evils, whether in millinery or
without it, but few people would have
suspected that among them is the
paradox that the more simple the hat
the more expensive it Is, The fact,
however, was confirmed by other
speakers. Thus, one authority speak
ing at the banquet said: Formerly
we paid high for millinery, but now
we pay higher for the absence Of mil
linery." This is doubtless one Of the
matters on which the president Of the
association wishes more information
given to the public. says the New
York World. 1t is probable, however.
that most people will be better
pleased by the statement that as SIM
plicity in millinery came in with the
hobble skirt, SO will it go out with
that garment. Unfortunately, while
We are assured that the coming of the
pannier will bring splurge in hats,
the intimation that there will be de-
cline in prices in proportion to the in
crease of decoration is not accompa-
MED by a guarantee. That is why we
have a special interest in the atten-
ton given by the banqueters to the
speech on "The Triumph of Truth"
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08
"elo Seller" of 1758.

In more hardy days than these snun
was used as an eye liniment 1.-THE
Compleat Housewife, or ACCOMPLISH.
ed Gentlewoman's, Companion" which
had run into 1e editions by 1853, extols
its virtues. Accomplished gentlewom.
en- who find their sight failing with ad.
vancing years are advised to rub "tbe
right sort of Portugal snuff into the
eyes night and morning, and take IL
leo through the nose" This trear.
ment, it is asserted, cured Sir Ed.
ward Seymour. Sir John Houblon and
Judge Ayres. so that they could read
without spectacles after they had
used them for many years." Some
people would prefer spectacles.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08

The young opera singer in London
who told the queen when asked If she
were not half English, that she was
all American, had the courage and the
patriotism to prefer the honor of her
nationality to royal approval to her
supposed British blood. If all Ameri-
cans abroad were to act with the
same frank and honest pride in their
Americanism, this country would be
less subject to the criticism called
forth in other countries.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08

A supreme court justice in New
York has laid 1t down that a man can.
not abandon his wife Simply because
she nags him." We've known 1t right
along, to be sure, but it's rather dis
concerting to have it thrown at us in
the form of legal decision.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08

New Zealand Is about to abandon
wooden telegraph poles for those
made of concrete. Perhaps the day
Is at hand when a telegraph pole
will be invented that will add to the
attractiVeness of the landscape.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08

The decision Of the Harvard author
dties to replace the college elms with
red oaks is another testimony to the
tact that new pests are bringing disas-
ter to some Of our old and favorite
trees. Insects are threatening the elms
today as never before.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08

According to official figures. baby
ds born in New York every three min.
utes. AS a sucker Is said to be
born every minute, 1t is apparent that
New York ia not living up to its DOE
sibilities.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08

While the world stands aghast at
The terrific battle for life in great
disasters the news comes from Phil
adelphia Of a girls suicide because
size disliked her social duties. It Is a
queer world.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08

A New York Judge decided that be-
cause a woman went to work, the fact
did not relieve her husband from the
obligation Of paying alimony. The
law, with few exceptions, has been
remarkably polite to the lady.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08

During the moving and house clean
Ing season the average householder
needs the patience of Job combined
with the digestion of an anaconda and
the muscular development Of q San.
dow.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08

! - 4
quarrel YETI"
The MaIlorvs?" Mrs. Temple
flushed as she answered, mercifully.
"Oh, yes they were very friendly
again this morning"
Mrs. Whitcomb's countenance was
cynical: INV dear, I've been married
twice and 7 ouobt n know something
about honeymoons. but this honeylesa
honeymoon" she cast up her eyes
and her hands in despair.
The women were so concerned aDou'
Mr.. ahi Mrs Mallory, that 'heS
hardly noticed, the uncomfortaOI'
plight Of the Wellingtons, or the cuiI-
! Gus behavior of the lady from 'hS
stateroom who seemed to De al'"'u u
something and never spoke 10 amy
BODY. The strange behavior ol ANN
cattle ana ira Lathrop even eScap t
much comment though they We're 10
ever OeIh8 stumbled on "He" a"! '"''
Went OUT 10 me observation i'"',o' ~
men 'hey were dlsiod&eu !Fol4l 'i,e'''
'hey sat paying checkers anu ld1hiIs
very NIUE but making eyes at one "u
0'n1' anu S'9n'iiS ''Ae Iu'li"oe''
"'' i.''u & '"et''S Co"I0O''' ST..
'eCte' VI ','e'' ~" H. lol i'"' '0',
",S avn, no ,'u' III III eu 9t , ,oro
,,aiD" 0"'S " i'" '''0
,,
anu Anne .O' neu se' an Z ~ -00'o ~,
',i'u N,oppeU d n"iiolul Vi oi'eone''' !
uon hAo" No" l Can lace H. -,
IA s,o"'su IKE !o'e'''A ''0'
HM' "n"' w YOU care
nut was never Hal'leu oeio!e 9
''"' ANDe p'oIeSteo' anu oh " u "'N'
'oo'
why, all the bridal couples take 10
the railroads"
shouId thlnk 1t would De 'he last
place they go. said Anne-a sensible
woman, Anne! LOCK at the Mallorles
how miserable they are"
i thought they were happy" said
Ira, whose great virtue it was to pay
little heed to what was none OF his
business.
"Oh, Ira" cried Anne, II hope we
shan't begin to quarrel as soon as we
are married"
AS if anybody could quarrel with
you, Anne" he said.
DO you think III be so monotonous
as that" she retorted.
Her SKUNK DELIGHTED him bevond
words. He whispered: Anne. you're
so gol,darned sweet if I don't get a
chance to kiss you. III bust"
why, Ira-we're on the train"
"Da-darn the train. Who ever
heard of a fellow proposing and get
ting engaged to a girl and not even
kissing her"
But our engagement is so short"
well, I'm not going to marry you
until | get a kiss"
Perhaps innocent old Anne really
believed this blood-curdling threat. 1t
| DTOuSlI neT instantly TO terms, though
she blushed: But everybody's al,
ways looking"
Come out on the observation Mat.
form"
och, Ira again."
81 dare you"
81 take you-but" seeing that Mrs
Whitcomb was trying to>oyerbesr. she
whispered: Lets pretend it's the
scenery"
So Ira rose, pushed the checkers
aside, and said in an unusually posi.
tive tone: "Ah. Miss Cattle won't Won
have a look at the landscaneq"
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08
EreakIr. /,

Pat =, ''ne h.
l a'-Nrs. Fl,,,
Moike has fus, I.ra's
Mrs. FIanni ,,,'slt h%
-jtivins, '''p ''oaE
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1912-11-08

MccANE's DETEcTM 4
Houston, Texas, operate. b. q
competent detectives in he Sss
written opinions in cases nj -
Reasonable rates.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-12-29

visiting a texas
ranch in the latter COS.
happened to be by one
dav when one of the COW
bows discovered himself
to be a ."belted Earl of
Britain, heir to two peer
ages and one of the great
est landed estates of
England.
The cowboy was a
reserved young English
man, sfresh skinned and
light haired. His title
among his mates of the
clubhouse was Blondv
Bill. None of them knew
anything of his affairs.
| mere are always Il lOt Oh
British younger sons
kicking around" the
West and Southwest of
the United States, and.
however "raffish they
may be. one of their main
characteristics IS that
they don't become garru-
lous about their family
affairs or about the
troubles that have served
to set them to roaming.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-12-29

degenerated into a mere
hanger-on and tout of
the tracks. 1t had been
a gray world for Tink
for a long while; but
on this day he "hit it
right. At that time
there was a worthless
sort of thoroughbred
named Shieldbearer
running at the Fair
Grounds track and in
variably finishing last.
Shieldbearer couldn't
run fast enough to keep
himself warm on a fast
track; but he was a
speedy sort of animal
in muddy going, though
this fact wasn't known
in St. Louis, for the
horses owner, no doubt
with an eye to a clean
up, had been racing the
horse only on a fast
track.
Shieldbearer was en-