Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1912-02-01
MEND|NCAFAUCET
An Easy Job That Mr.. Gimp Tao.
killed. With Confidence.
1T GAVE HIM A BIG SURPRISE.

Mr.. Gimp came home from the city
the other day and burst into his house
with an air that meant business. He
smiled when the maid told him his
wife was out. laid parcel on the
stairs. took off his coat, rolled up his
sleeves. took his parcel and went up
to the bathroom. where he opened the
package 1t contained a monkey
wrench, screw driver, half dozen
assorted rubber washers and pipe
wrench.
"Thank goodness, my wife's not
home." said Mr.. Gimp. IF there is
anything upsets a man it is the foolish
questions a woman asks when he Is
trying to do a job. Plumber. She'd
get a plumber to mend leaky faucet.
would she? III show her that man
of intelligence can do a job in five min
utes that plumber would take all day
to do and charge 50. Now,"
Mr.. Gimp turned the faucet. Not a
drop of water came out. He turned
the other 1t was dry. They were the
bathtub faucets and the far one had
been leaking for q week, while Mr..
Gimp promised day by day to attend
to it.
We'll" said Mr.. Gimp rs he saw
that no water came out Of the faucets,
that's more sense than thought that
woman possessed. Turned off the wa
ter. did she? Didn't let it run all day
when there was no need of 1t, hey!
Now!"
Mr. Gimp took the monkey wrench
in one hand and the pipe wrench in
the other and climbed into the bath
tub. Then he sat on the edge while
he studied the faucet.
"Lemme see" he said. "You take off
that handle. and you unscrew that top
dingus. That's what you do" SO he
did that Twice the monkey wrench
slipped and he skinned three knuckles,
but he got the handle off, and he I'M
screwed the cap and pulled out the rod
that held the washer Then he peered
down into the remaining portion Of the
faucet and looked at the washer.
ton. He peered into the faucet and
ran his finger around in it, accumulat-
ing iron rust on it. If the washer was
not broken what could be the matter
with the thing? There must be some
thing the matter deeper down. He set
his pine wrench around the pipe and
grasped the faucet with the monkey
, wrench. The faucet held like grim
death. The more 1t resisted the more
he pushed and pulled and grunted and
said strong words.
When the faucet gave at last it gave
suddenly, and Mr.. Gimp fell over the
side Of the bathtub and landed with a
bump that shook the house. He was
up again in a minute and in the bath
tub. The faucet was badly marred
where the wrench had dug into its
soft brass. and the nose Of It was
twisted awry, but the faucet was of.
He took the faucet to the window and
studied it. Except for the damage he
had done it, there seemed nothing the
matter with 1t.
Some fool plumber" said Mr.. Gimp
angrily. has put the wrong sort of
washer into this faucet. That's what's
the matter, and that's ALL"
He picked out different sort Of
washer and put 1t on the plunger. 1t
was not good fit, but it was change
anyway.
Now" said Mr.. Gimp. and he
| n1in 1,o int hn f,,h Ia
bumped himself down on his knees
and looked into the water pipe on
which he had to screw the faucet,
"Now," he said.
AS If that had been the signal. n
strong, vigorous stream of water shot
out of the pipe and struck Mr.. Gimp
In the eye. He gasped for breath and
tumbled backward But the stream
| pursued him. He got up and c,.np.
| pied with the stream
Unless YOU have crlel to lrapple
with stream liEe that Yen cannot
even fnin:}r imagine the diiii.ulty of
giving 1t good. self satisfying Crap
! PIE. y stream like that Will not fight
fair. If vow rut Your hand over the
pipe The stream viii SQUIRT out in for
| ty-two directions some Of them hit
| the ceiling Most ot tNpm hit Mr.
Gimp. lie wrostled silently until the
bathroom was we'll soaked and he was
well soaked. and then he decided il
was better just to let the stream squirt
| 1t Srur;ed into the bathtub anyway.
80 he got out of the tub and dripped
on tn" floor and paved water out of
his hair and wiped water out Of his
eyes
And just then the plumber came up-
stairs again He had been down eel
lar to turn on the water after he had
fixed the faucet. and it was quite nat
| ural that he should come up again to
see If the faucet was we'll fixed. So
ne came up. and he looked into the
bathroom. and he saw the faucet w..
Ing In the bathtub among wrenches
and water. and he saw the water
squirting heartily.
And all he said was, well. I'll be
durned!' Just like that-"Well, III
be durned" That was all he said
Ellis Parker Butler in Judge.
Didn't Want Too Much.
a MI