davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19
IMPOSSIBLE. THOUGH
In Little Old New York

the waiter witch was bothering
him and there is Jim clark, laf-
fing his he'd off
wots SO funny, ses john, you
must think you are sum kind of
a comedian, standing back there
and kidding me, if cant git
some rost beef and git it quick
ime going to sum other hash par
Ter and ime going soon
har, har, har, ses Jim, now you
know how 1t is, evry time / go
into that barber shop of yours
acrost the street to git a shave,
them guys that works for you
asks me do want a haircut, and
don't ! want shampoo, and how
about a face massoj, also a shine
and a manicure and goodness
knows wot how do you like it
yourself
ime it, ses john, have one on
me and hurry up that rost beef
johnny
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19

Jones owned some barren lots of
sand
He couldn't give away the land.
A driller came and sank a well,
1t spouted oil and gas pell-mell.
The hero of this truthful tale
Then sold his lots for heaps of
kale.
Jones said, 81 owe my wealth to
pluck
And work-there's no such thing
as Luck!"
A debtor, lacking cash to pay
Gave Smith some mining stock
one day;
Just then 1t wasn't worth a cent,
But into Smiths small safe it
went.
Then fortune = tickle jade and
Revealed the presence of pay
dirt.
Yet Smith, when asked how
wealth is struck,
Replies, There's no such thing
as luck!"
Believe me, brethren, for each
chap
Whom fame has put upon the
map,
There are a dozen good as he
Who haven't Jared as luckily;
Who've worked and sweated just
as much
But somehow always were ''In
Dutch"
Despite each prating, wealthy
duck,
You bet there's such a thing as
Luck!
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19
Article No. z.
BY EDMUND NORTON

Society Is ill--everybody knows
that who knows anything. Scores
of millions of ill-gotten and legal
ly-stolen wealth brazenly Haunted
in the faces of the robbed and
poverty driven wretches who cre-
ated it. fostering vices under
the shadow of ecclesiastical pal
aces. The body. blood and bones,
the brains and souls of little chill
dren ground by the modern steel
monsters of production into dol
lars for the masters of industry"
all these and much more tell
the fact.
To say that you don't know it
is to insult your intelligence.
That justice is Knocked, and
liberty laughed at while the
courts of the land have become a
joke and a sneer in the mouths of
the scornful, is an evidence that
something is rotten" elsewhere
than in Denmark.
Why is it that the genius of
man that can clean out a fever
breeding Havana swamp, cannot
destroy a city slum Why Is 1t
that this same genius that can
build machine to break the
backs of the mountains that have
held the oceans apart for a mil
lion years, cannot buhd one to
take the burdens from the backs
OF children? To say man cannot do
this right thing is to insult his
God-given mind. But why doesn' t
he do 1t then-when he can?
1t is because the same greed for
the "unearned increment" of land
value that is behind much of the
building of the Panama Canal is
behind the unearned increment of
the city slums that puts Rents
into the pockets of those who
"own" the land.
The Single Tax, by destroying
the private incentive to taking
this public value, will create a
public incentive to the destruction
of a public evil-and 1t will be
easy when the private interest in
maintaining the evil has been done
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19

ing with his former stenographer
to whom he had been married
after his first wife divorced him.
He was drawing pay as con-
gresham, and the MRS. Marion
Davis" was on the public payroll
as his clerk.
Mayor Gaynor says that the
ideal young woman should be
pretty, we'll educated, a splendid
singer, a good dancer, a fine cook,
and should be able to make mend
ed socks look like new ones. Any
one knowing the address of such
a young person had ought to tell
the mayor.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19
Strong Argument

Senator Bailey has
pected this of Bailey 1t the thing for Bailey
done 1t in Baieys place. couldn't
vtolets where
fleece, beatng for a
sheep. But would him a eve
glad Bailey s against women are glad
that he he is You hunt a
responsible for Bailey He is the
suffrage that walks
of such arguments that perambuate politics.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19
AND FATHER AGREED

AND FATHER AGREED
Home Tommy had begun found
av himself to regular hours At bedtime evening his father
Tommy not at all pleased with the report mother
conduct today" e
NO. father, wouldn't told but
report a itf"
National Food Magazine -
Papa, what a cold snap?"
Houston Post.
,-,,1,Ty -, NC I'm --,--,r,,
The Doctor-1ow is the patient this morning2
The Patients Wife-I better,
worrying about something
The Doctor-Hum! Yes Just tell him
month That ought freshn him Orleans
SENATORIAL ORTHOGRAPHY
Senator Guggenheim
other day with frown his face
I've just lost SIS Nixon"
g in and he And the
wanted bet the himself only the other side
because 1t the only side e."-New York World
"Shes the meanes know"
Whats the matter now?"
81 offered give a to
would believe 1t,
maid hersef?'-Detroit Free Press.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19

leck telegraphed
the war depart
ment and Gen.
Geo. B. McClel-
Ian that he
could split Sc
cession in twain
in a month. It
took three years
and greater men
t h a n Halleck,
yet it would not
nbe fair to as
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19
SUNSET MEETING

The Sunset Improvement club
will hold its regular meeting this
evening at Oakland chapel, South
oath and Proctor SITS. Several mat
tiers of interest are to be taken
up. Manager Bean of the T. r.
& p. has promised to be present.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19
FARMERs AT SCHOOL

PUYALLUP, Feb. 19.-Three
hundred and nine farmers have
enrolled for the farmers school of
instruction being conducted by the
state here. The classes in agri-
and also In domestic sci
snce have Been of great benefit
o these attending.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19

w llllam j. BY
an in the house
of representa-
tives recently,
represents the
second Texas dis
trict. This Is the
second time he
has appeared in
the public eye; a
year ago he was
found living as
Marion Davis"
in a little Mary
land village. He
then announced
that he was liy-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19

Alum mighty useful Mr. Grocer in its place but the
place the human stomach
the Daily Times respectfully sign the
above-and make
Alum will when inferior is
as stypc to stou
blood when they who
nsides
relishe
alum than to make their goods right?
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19

Be happy. Use Red Cross Ball
Blue; much better than liquid
blue. Delights the laundress. Ten
smiles for a nickel. Always buy
Red Cross Ball Blue; have beau
|tiful clear white clothes. At all
grocers. 49,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19
T II E M A r K E. r s
PRICES PAID PRODUCER.

PRICES PAIL
Apples-$1.5 od az a box.
Lemons-S4.25 05.
California Grape Fruit-$3.50
% 4.50.
Oranges-$2@ 2.S5.
Potatoes-$2S ton.
Sweet Potatoes-sS % $50 cwt.
BEAMS % &c.
Lettuce-s1.25 crate.
Turnips-s1 sack.
Beef-10hc.
Pork-9 % 10c.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19

When a fellows turned down
by a girl he feels like a Swiss
cheese sandwich,
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19
TODAY IN HISTORY

Feb. 10. 1862, just SO years
ago today, Maj. Gen. II. w. Hal
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19
M0Sf


ApHlW
The Joker
He's the busiest of the busy,
A Cyclone Johnny Hump,
Most pestiferous of humans,
And always on the jump.
In laughter and in tears is he
A genius of his trade,
He finds a smile In everything,
He's never dull and staid.
He's part of every business,
The life OF every stage,
Though it's a fact that often he
Goads many men to rage.
But again he causes laughter
When tears are wont to flow,
And often stops quarrel
And stays blind anger's blow.
Yes, we need him every minute,
The Joker and his kind,
For he helps dispel our grouches,
And at least relieves the mind,
The A ID @ of Politics.
Ambition.
Dunk"
Chagrin.
They are fighting "bum" booze
in Kansas. Such originality! All
the rest of the country is fighting
the real stuff.
Picked a Lemon.
"Oh, dear" said maiden bold,
81 fear that I'm getting old,
I'm going to look out
For Leap-Year hold-out,"
She did, but is sorry, we're told.
Science doesn't know whether
a microbe is a plant or an animal.
They couldn't have examined a
mollycoddle.
The task for Christian art is to
establish brOtherIy union among
men.-Tolstoi.
The "God of Things as They
Are"
" TITS a cruel, cruel, world"
A Shopper said one day,
81 find the costly trimmings
. On my hat are just plain hay.
"But then they're very stylish, 70
And I'll leave 'em on, I guess,
For even IL they're 'phony'
They're a fine match for my
dress"
Good evening. Have you kick
ed about the weather yet?
There was a little man
Who had get-rich plan,
And his scheme was full Of
bunk, bunk, bunk.
He tried his get-rich plan
On an insurance man.
But that worthy skinned him
with his own bunk bunk.
Humming birds journey from
our middle states to South
America every year. Some hum
ming birds we know go from New
York to Reno quite often too.
JACK BINNS.
Please Write.
When the pitcher and the
catcher are thirsty, Is that a dry
battery?
If the same pitcher and catcher
got caught in the rain, would it
be a wet battery?
And if they took that pitcher
and catcher to the warehouse,
would that be storage battery?
DR.. l. d. Brom was in our mail
again this morning. He sent this:
Dust along the highway,
Clouds in the sky;
But o, the stars and roses,
BY and by.
We don't understand you, doc,
but this is our reply:
Clouds in your belfry,
Dust in your eye;
You'll be a poet, Doc,
BY and by.
Why Don't We Say It?
~ LOOK HERE, You 6AIoo7'1
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19
About People,

Martin e. Dies, who made
particularly vicious attack upon
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19

He'll is more bearable than
nothingness. bailey. For in
stance, singer" In city flat.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19
|N.W.GroceryCo.|

When we advertise an ar
ticle we mean business. Price
and quality are what tell the
story.
EGGS. EGGS.
An awful drop in Local
Ranch Eggs. Sale limited
and we reserve the right to
alter price without notice.
Price now ID 1sc
POTATOES
Before the seeding rush
commences we offer Home
Grown Burbanks, where de-
livered with our own team
and bought with other goods
$40 Per Hundred.
Better get busy as price is
sure to advance.
SOAPS
All standard makes and
large bars.
White Floating Borax z for
25c.
Savon Laundry Soap, z for
25c.
Lenox Soap, 7 for 25c.
All sc Toilet Soaps 8 for Toe
SUNDRIES
Large Navel Oranges, per
doz. 121sc. 171sc zoe.
2-lb. Pork and Beans, per
can Zoe.
No. 2 New Orleans Molasses
per can f25kc.
Asparagus, whole or tips,
per can zoe.
Fosfo Baking Powder, lib.
15c, 5 lbs. soc.
Bulk Cocoanut, per lib. 15c.
SATURDAY OOFFEE
SPECIAL
Our 35c M. & J. Blend SOC.
Our 30c Java Blend, 200.
Northwest Grocery Co.
1302-4 Commerce
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19

PRODUCER.
onions--s1.25@ 1.5o.
Cabbage 1-2c.
Spinach, / 1-2c.
Chicken-18@20c lb.
Oysters-$7.50 per sack.
Clams-$2.50 a sack.
Crabs-s1.50 q 1.75 doz.
Butter
Washington Creamery-35c.
Eggs.
Washington Ranch-25c.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19

They've discovered copper in
Ireland. But Irish copper has
been known to New York for
many year.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19

sumo that Halleck was a cold
blooded prevaricator. He may
have been mistaken about how
big war it was. And he was
not the only one who was mis-
taken, either.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19

HEARST says that Roosevelt has been a candidate
a. Compared to Willie Randolph, Teddy is a mere
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19

NO more getting up at a. m and walking the floor
jr for daddy. Man has invented a galloway which
be made back and forth by merely attaching
to electric socket.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1912-02-19

THERE about $50, 600 miles O submarine
cables in the world and of this than 100000 miles
laid In the past ten years.
The true Democrat. [volume] (Bayou Sara [La.]) 1892-1928, 1912-08-31

refunding and settlement OF the in
deotedness of the State"
And the words:
Against the proposed amendment
to Article 46 of the Constitution of
the State of Louisiana relative to
the reminding and settlement of the
Indebtedness Of the State"
And each elector shall indicate on
said ballot, as provided in the Cen
eral Election Law of the State, wheth-
er he votes for or against the pro-
posed amendment.
l.. E. THOMAS.
speaker OF the House of Represen-
tatiVeS.
THOMAS C. BARRETT.
Lieutenant Governor and President
of the Senate.
Approved: July 18th, 1912.
L. E. HALL,
Governor of the State of Louisiana.
A true copy:
ALVIN E. HEBERT,
Secretary Of State.
The true Democrat. [volume] (Bayou Sara [La.]) 1892-1928, 1912-08-31
JOINT RESOLUTION

JOINT RESOLUTION
Proposing an amendment to Article
20 Of the State of Louisiana, so
as to permit women to hold any
office connected with the educa-
tiOnal system of the State, or of
any political subdivision thereof,
and with institutions of charity
and correction.
Section l. Be it resolved by the
General Assembly of the State of
Louisiana, two-thirds of all the mem
bers elected to each House concur
ring, That Article 210 of the Con-
stitution be amended so as to read
as follows:
Article 210: No person shall be
eligible to any office, State, judic-
ial, parochial. municipal or ward, who
is not a citizen of this State and a
duly qualified elector of the State,
judicial district, parish, municipality
or ward, wherein the functions of
said office are to be performed; pro-
Vided, that resident women over the
age of twenty-five years shall be
eligible to hold any office connected
with the public educational system
of the State, or of any ward, parish,
or municipality in the State, and 10
hold any office in the State connect
ed with institutions of charity or cor
rection. And whenever any officer,
State, judicial, parochial, municipal
Or ward, may change his residence
from this State, or from the district,
parish, municipality or ward in which
he holds such office, the same shall
thereby be vacated, any declaration
of retention of domicile to the con-
trary Notwithstanding.
Section 2. Be it further resolved,
etc, That this proposed amendment
be submitted to the electors of the
State of Louisiana for their approv-
al or rejection, as required by Arti-
Gle 321 of the Constitution of the
State of Louisiana and the general
election laws of the State, at the
next Congressional election to be
held in this State in November, 1912.
Section 8. Be it further resolved,
etc, That on the official ballots to
be used at said election shall be
placed the words For the proposed
amendment to Article 210 of the Con
Stitution, relative to women" and
the words Against the proposed
to Article 21O of the Con-
relative to women" and
each elector shall indicate, as pro-
Vided in the general election laws of
The true Democrat. [volume] (Bayou Sara [La.]) 1892-1928, 1912-08-31

Jo1LN hLOoLo IoN
Proposing an amendment to Article
1877 of the Constitution of the
State of Louisiana relative to
the filling of vacancies in offices
in the Parish of Orleans.
Section l. Be it resolved by the
General Assembly of the State of
louisiana, tWO-thirds of all members
elected to each house concurring,
That Article 157 of the Constitution
of the State of Louisiana be amend
ed so as to read as follows:
Article 157. Vacancies cOncurring
from any cause in any of the judic-
ial offices of the Parish of Orleans
or the City of New Orleans or in
any elective office in the Parish of
Orleans, where the uneXpired term
is for a longer period than one year,
shall be filled by a special election
to be called by the proper legal au-
thority and held within sixty (60)
days of the occurrence of the vacan-
cy under the general election laws
of this State. Where the unexpir-
ed portion of the term is less than
one year the vacancy shall be filled
for the remainder of the term by the
Governor with the advice and con-
sent of the Senate.
Section 2. Be it further resolved,
ETC., That the foregoing amendments
to the Constitution of the State of
Louisiana be submitted to the cleo
tors of the State at the next cleo
ton for Representatives in Congress
to be holden on the first Tuesday
after the first Monday in November,
1912, and on the official ballots to
be used at said election shall be
placed the words For the proposed
Amendment to Article 157 Of the Con-
stitution of the State of Louisiana, -
and the words Against the proposed
amendment to Article 157 of the Con-
stitution of the State of louisiana;
and each elector shall indicate, as
provided in the general election laws
of the State, which of the PROPOSE
lions, for or against, he votes.
L. E. THOMAS,
Speaker of the House of Represen-
tatives.
THOMAS C. BARRETT,
Lieutenant Governor and President
of the Senate.
Approved July 18th, 1912.
L. E. HALL,
Governor of the State of Louisiana.
A true copy:
ALVIN E. HEBERT,
Secretary of State.
The true Democrat. [volume] (Bayou Sara [La.]) 1892-1928, 1912-08-31

ed thereon the words: For the pro-
posed amendment to Article 223 OF
the Constitution providing for the
recall of certain officers elected by
the people" And the words Against
the proposed amendment to Article
223 OF the Constitution providing for
the recall OF certain officers elected
by the people"
Section 4. Be it further resolved,
etc, That if adopted at the said
election in November, 1912, this
amendment shall go into effect and
be operative on and after the first
day of January, 1913.
l.. E. THOMAS,
Speaker of the House of Represen-
tatiVes.
THOMAS C. BARRETT,
Lieutenant Governor and President
Of the Senate.
Approved July 9Th, 1912.
L. E. HALL,
Governor of the State of Louisiana.
A true copy:
ALVIN E. HEBERT,
Secretary of State.
The true Democrat. [volume] (Bayou Sara [La.]) 1892-1928, 1912-08-31
ACT NO. 1855.
House Bill No. 29S. By Mr.. Butler.
JOINT RESOLUTION

JOINT RESOLUTION
Proposing an amendment to Article
1903 of the Constitution of the
State of Louisiana, relative to
pensions for Confederate Veter-
ans as amended by Act No. e of
the General Assembly of 1900,
and Act No. 112 of the General
Assembly of 1904, and Act 269 of
the General Assembly of 1908,
and for the purpose of providing
sufficient revenue for the car
rying out of this Article of the
Constitution.
Section l. Be it resolved by the
General Assembly of the State of
Louisiana, two-thirds of all members
elected to each House concurring,
That Article 303 of the Constitution
of the State of Louisiana, as amend
ed by Act No. 73 of the General AS
sembly of 1900, and Act No. 112 of
the General Assembly of 1904, and
Act No. 269 of the General Assembly
of 1908, be SO amended as to read
as follows:
Article 3O3. A pension not to ex-
coed eight dollars ($S) per month
shall be allowed to each Confederate
soldier or sailor veteran who pos
sesses all the following qualifications:
l. He shall have served honorably
from the date of his enlistment IN
til the close of the late Civil War,
or until he was discharged or paroled
in some military organization regu.
larly mustered into the Army or Ma
Wy of the Confederate States, and
shall have remained true to the Con-
federate States until the surrender.
2. He shall not own property of
more than one thousand dollars val
uatlon and he shall not be physical
~ able to earn livelihood by his
own labor.
}. He shall not be salaried or 9TH
erwise provided for by the State of
Louisiana or by any other State or
Government. In case he enlisted in
any organization mustered into said
service as a Louisiana organization,
or in case at the date of his enlist
ment he resided in the State of Lou
lsiana, he shall have resided i'm this
State for at least five years prior
to his application for pension. In
case he resided elsewhere than in
this State, and enlisted in an organ
Ization not mustered in from Louisi-
ana, or in the Navy of the Confeder-
ate States, he shall have resided in
this State for at least fifteen years
prior to his application for such pen
sion. A like pension shall be grant |
I'd to the widow who shall not have
The true Democrat. [volume] (Bayou Sara [La.]) 1892-1928, 1912-08-31


Submitting to the people Of the State
of Louisiana at the Compression
al election held in November,
1912, an amendment to the Con-
stitutiOn of the State as amended
by Act No. 279 of the Acts of
1910 ratified by the people at
the November election of 1910,
so as to extend the time for the
organization of the steamship
companies therein provided for
until January /, 1915.
Section /. Be it resolved by the
General Assembly of the State of
Louisiana, twO-thirds of all the men,
bers elected to each branch thereof
cOncurring, That at the COMPRESSION
al election to be held in this State
on the first Tuesday next following
the first Monday in November, 1912,
the following amendment to the
amendment submitted by Act No.
279 Of Acts of 1910, ratified by the
people at the November election Of
1910, shall be submitted to the cleo
tors Of the State, t07wit:
The time granted for the organi-
cation of the steamship companies un-
der this amendment to the COnStitu-
ton shall be extended from January
l, 1913, to January /, 1916"
Section 2. Be it further resolved,
ETC., That the official ballot to be
used at said election shall have
printed thereon the words:
For the proposed amendment to
the Constitution extending the time
for the organization of steamship
companies under the Constitutional
amendment proposed by Act 279 of
1910 from January l, 1918, to Janu-
airy l, 1916"
And the words:
Against the proposed amendment
to the Constitution extending the
time for the organization of steam
snlp companies under the COnStitu
tiOnal amendment proposed by Act
No. 279 Of 1910 from January /, 1913,
to January l, 1916"
And each electOr shall indicate on
said ballot as provided in the gen
eral election law whether he votes
Tor or against the proposed amend.
ment.
L. E. THOMAS,
Speaker Of the House of Represen-
tatiVes.
THOMAS C. BARRETT,
Lieutenant Governor and President
Of the Senate.
Approved July 10th, 1912
L. E. HALL,
Governor of the State of Louisiana.
A true copy:
ALVIN E. HEBERT.
Secretary of State.