Norwich bulletin., 1912-07-27
AUNT MARIA'S NERVOUS NIECE
By Lucretia

Good morning I hear your folks have company" said as came along by Uncle Sol Peters from the post office.
 Uncle Sol was clipping along the wall in the house-lot. He chuckled and says he:
 Yes! and then agin, no! We have and we aint," Then he shook his head and chuckled; and l knew by the way he leaned on his scythe a story was coming, so settled myself com fortably on the wall and waited. We did have; and we have!" says he.
 Flows that?"
 We'll, I'll tell you. Quite a spell along back we got a letter from round Boston saying as how some school was going to commence and invited us to see it commence, writ jest like an invite to a marrying, and in it was a | card with M. L-u-c=l-l-e, S-m-y-t-h-e. Now we couldn't make head nor tail to it After few days, long came a letter to Maria from her sister Lucy explaining that Lucy Maria Smith had jest got through school, instead as that there invite said. You know Lucy married off there and he died | and left her pretty fore-handed. Lucy was pretty proud and high toned and good manager, too; and | they lived like grand city swells- ya'-a's. Why, Maria went down once when the older gal was married. Such doin's you never seen. House dread ful stylish; but when they come to the wedding. want cheers enough for all the company (probably wedding cost so much want nothing left to buy cheers) say, what you think, Luce 1 jest took all the chairs away and made um all stand up. Allowed that was latest style Oh, she's game! Afterwards they had supper and ther want plates enough and the hired gal, l she jest whisked 'um off, washed and flung um back. company jest joked and laughed. like they was used to it; l and Lucy set there and never turned hairl Maria was dreadful cut up about it.
 Nov, Lucy Marias graduated. SayI 1 If you'll believe 1t, that there card was meant for Lucy Maria Smith, named 1 for her Grandma, mother and sister, l Her ma said as how it looked more 1 high-t toned with that away,
 Seems this cOmmencements sort of i dress parade to wind up school. Its 1 nip and tuck with the gals. One who has best toggery is right on top. | T suppose" l interrupted, your | niece was an honor scholar"
 'No-o, guess not, she's all style and i clothes, don't believe she had no time l for honors She's got all tuczered out | sewing and worrying for fear her rig or rigs wouldn't be first. Had to have two or three rigs. and Lucy Ma ria vowed she'd have the best, or none. l Well, between her and her Ma, ] guess she managed to git up stun ming rig. Her Ma said as how twas dreadful close call tween her and an other gal, but they finally agreed the ! ribbons on M. Luciley's was mite the | wider and a leetle finer than the old CT gals, so that settled it.
 NOW I reckon her Ma didn't in- tend to vast all them clothes, so they 1 were going to the shore for a spell Likely she expected they'd git a rich man for NJ Luciley. We'll the strain of that dressmaking was too much for the gal and the doctor said she must | rest with Nature for a spell. Lucy didn't say why she didn't go to Nature Maybe cost too heavy. Anyhow she writ Maria for her to come here and rest.
 Maria was all fluster, and most 1 wanted the house fixed all over; and she put the boys and I through oul 1 StenLS. SdlQ we must wear our COa Is to eat in, fol-de-roll and not to poul
 our tea in the sasser and blow it tC
 cool it and said as how we must cal with fork and thus and so l balk-
 ed at the coat, but lowed I'd try tC
 drink mite stilleri VII, the woman
 cooked for nigh two days then she
 moved all the geW- gaws in the house
 into the spare room.
 Day fore yesterday NJ. Lucille,
 comed. Maria had that spare-roon
 fixed jim dandy and a bang-up sup
 per ready, Say Nj. Luci1ey said then
 gew- -gans want sanitary, whatevei
 that might be, and the curtains ble@
 and made her nervous So her aun
 had to take um all away while sh,
 rocked and bOssed the job.
 When we sOt down to eat sht
 couldn't eat a blamed thing we had
 but some berries. She brought som,
 canned saWdGst and patent shavings
 which she eat in milk
 She got her aunt up once or twie, in the night. Say! Once for a tree
 tead.
 Next morning she come teeterin, down stairs on some high -heeied shoe
 dressed to kill. had more hairn
 ever seen afore. She was quite so ciable, told the kids about her clothes
 etc. After eating her saw dust, sait