davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

WHAT STEEL RAIL HAS TO STAND
1.-The Menace Of the Broken Raii' in the
July Metropolitan Magazine.
Have you an idea of the strain to which
steel rail is subjected today? Let us
consider one for a moment. In the time of
its greatest torture, and see. The Cannon
Ball express is coming. It Is drawn by
two engines. The largest weighs 100 tons
n tons of the weight are carried on the
six driving wheels, which means almost
10 tons to a wheel Thirteen tons of
weight upon each WHEEL That means 13
tons of weight impinging for flying In
slant upon a rail surface perhaps no more
than an inch square and then moving
forward all the time, a succession of
whirling blows from a 10 ton hammer.
II the train Is going 30 miles an hour, an
imaginary square inch has but one five
hundred and twenty-eight part of a sec
ond in which to receive the blow, vince
under 1t, distribute the terrible force of it
through its elastic elements to the sur
rounding mass of the rail- brace itself to
help distribute stresses that are being
set up on adjacent surfaces and zigzag-
cling back and forth in all sorts of ways
through the content OF the rail, and then
almost instantly lift its devoted head to
receive the blow of the next driving wheel.
II the train is going 60 miles an hour in
stead of 30. this all has to be received.
withstood and passed on in one ten-hun-
bred and fifty-sixth part of a second.
And yet this isn't all that is happening
to the nerves of the rail. This is only taxi
ing account of the compression strains.
There is another set Of strains; for these
big driving wheels are pulling the train.
They have caught hold of the rails just
as your hands grip the rope in tug of
war, and they take a fresh hold every
fraction of second. The tendency Is to
pull the top or head off the rail, to pull
1t all to pieces. 1t is the business of the
rail to stick together, head and web and
fiange, In every single and separate mole
Guile with all the tenacity of which steel
is capable. But we have stated only one
half the tension strain. This strain is re-
versing all the time; for while the huge
drivers are pulling one part of the rail
toward them, they are pushing another
part away from them. This plucking and
spurning. hauling and kicking. tension
and compression goes on continuously
| Complete reversing from compression to
| tension or back again takes place with
every half turn of a driving wheel, and
at a frightfully rapid rate. The marvel is
that the rail is not ground to powder.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26
HOW TO COOK HUSBANDS

From Ideal Power.
"A great many husbands are spoiled
by mismanagement. Some women go
about 1t as IL their husbands were bal
looms, and blow them up; others keep
them constantly in hot water; others
let them freeze, by their carelessness
and indifference. Some keep them in a
stew by irritating ways and words; ;
others roast them; some keep them in
pickle all their lives. Now 1t Is not
to be supposed that any husband will
be good, managed in this way-turnips
wouldn't; onions wouldn't; cabbage
heads wouldn't, and husbands won't;
but they are really delicious when
properly treated.
I'm selecting your husband you
should not be guided by the silvery
appearance as in buying mackerel. or
by the golden tint, as IL you wanted
salmon. Be sure to select him yourself,
as taste differs. And, by the way, don't
go to market for him, as the best are
always brought to your door.
TT is far better to have none, un-
less you patiently learn to cool him. A
preserving kettle of the finest porcelain
| is the best, but If you have nothing
but an earthenware pipkin 1t will do,
with care
See that the linen in which you
wrap him is nicely washed and mended,
with the required amount of buttons
and strings. nicely sewed on. Tie him
in the kettle with a strong cord called
Comfort, as the one called Duty is apt
to be weak. They sometimes fly out
of the kettle, and become burned and
crusty on the edges, since, like crabs
and oysters, you have to cook them
alive
| Make a clear. strong, steady fire out
of Love, Neatness and Cheerfulness.
Set him as near this as seems to agree
with him. If he sputters and fizzles,
don't be anxious; some husbands do this
till they are quite done. Add a little
sugar, in the form of what confection-
ers call Kisses, but no vinegar or pep
per on any account. A little spice inn
proves them, but 1t must be used with
Judgment.
Don't stick any sharp instrument
into him, to see If he is becoming ten
,der. Stir him gently, watching the while
lest he should lie too close to the kettle
and so become inert and useless.
You cannot fail to know when he is
done. II thus treated you Will find him
livery digestible, agreeing nicely with
you and the children"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26
At LAST

BY John Greenleaf Whittier.
When on my day of life the night is fall
ing,
And in the winds from unsunned spaces
blown,
hear far voices out of darkness calling
My feet TO paths unknown;
Thou who has made my home of life s.
pleasant,
Leave not its tenant when it's walls de-
cay,
o Love divine, o Helper ever present,
Be thou my strength and stay
Be near me when all else is from me
drifting;
Earth, sky. homes pictures, days of
shade and shine,
And kindly faces to my own uplifting
The love which answers mine.
have but thee, o Father! Let Thy Spirit j.
Be with me then to comfort and uphold; 2,
No gate of pearl, no branch of palm I !
merit.
Nor street of shining gold, Z
Suffice 1t if-my good and III unrecioned. ;
And both forgiven through thy abound
ing grace
1 find myself by hands familiar beckoned
Unto my fitting place.
some humble door among thy many man.
sions.
Some sheitering shade where sin and
striving cease,
And flows forever through heavens green l
expansions
The river of thy peace.
There, from the music round about mo
stealing,
l fam would learn the new and holy
song,
And find' at last. beneath thy trees of
healing.
The life for which I long.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26
BUFFALO BILL BOOM

Chicago Letter In Cincinnati Times
Star.
1t surely has been week CT harvest
for the big hotels. That Pompeiian
room off the Marble corridor of the
Congress, wherein Is fountain and
many little stone-topped tables, with
handsome waiter attachments, has been
filled from the hour of noon until the
last arid wanderer Is turned into the
street at / o'clock. Chicago is still
a village in its outlook. The o'clock
closing hour is strictly enforced--al-
though more or less straight die games
abound on every side--whereas In New
York you cannot play dice game In
store or saloon. and there are places
licensed to furnish guests with such
liquid refreshments as may seem nee
essary after the midnight hour. And
along about midnight the playmates
of the large city began to do stunts
in the Pompeiian room that would en-
sure them the Big Time If they could
get 1t before vaudeville manager
Men. and women sing. and dance, and
give limitations and now and then fall
into the fountains pool to the vocifer-
Gus joy of those who look on. But
there is nothing worth remarking
about that sort of thing. 1t Is char
acteristic of humanity that toward mid
night of an evening devoted to ladling
it in persons who are as musical as a
saw filler, feel impelled toward song
The one new note sounded in the Pom
n. 4. q txr
a lawyer from a certain sage brush
state. He wore a black sombrero,
paint brush beard, loose black clothes
and a glad and trammelless disposition.
Also, his voice carried like an electric
horn.
who discovered Cherry creek7" he
shouted.
Every one In his neighb orhood looked
at him in decorous amazement.
Buffalo BILL" he doomed in reply.
Pretty soon he got every one going.
The waiter came to tell him that he
must make no more noise. He shook
hands with the waiter. gave him a
quarter. ordered another drink and
asked him how loud he could holler.
Can holler this loud?" he would ask.
And then, seemingly as an experiment,
he would call as loudly as lost liner
looking for her mate In the ocean
lanes:, who saved the nation? Buffalo
Billw
The house detective came, shook
hands. accepted card from the gentle
mans case, took a cigar, told the law
yer he would inevitably be thrown out
II he made more noise than a mouse
and went away grinning from ear to
ear and pretending that he could not
hear the staccato yowls from behind
which proclaimed Wyoming's ticket
Buffalo Bill and Geronimo. And when
that beautifully picked Blackstone
finally wabbled toward the door. sound
ing his trumpet on the surprising mer-
it's of Colonel Cody. he got what no
other loud and boisterous stew ever got,
perhaps--a round of applause from the
whole room. Everyone begged him to
come back, but he would not. and went
on his wabbly way.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Concerning the solid south

we sometimes hear 1t said that the
democratic party would be strengthened
If the solid south were broken" re-
marked an old voter
THE south was solidly democratic from
the time that l became a voter In 1876
until 1896. when Mr.. Bryan ran the first
time. The solid south was broken then
and we have not had a solid south since
that is. not the south as we knew it in
the seventies and eighties. The solid
south was composed of all the old slave
states, whether they seeded or not.
Delaware was the most 'northern-like'
state of the solid south, but until it left
the column in 1896, 1t was as politically
southern as Virginia or the carolinas It
hats been republican ever since Bryan S
first campaign. Maryland was carried
twice by Mckinley. West Virginia. like
Delaware, has been republican state ever
since Bryan first ran. Kentucky was car
ried by Mckinley in 1896 and Missouri,
the last of the FIVE border states of the
solid south, has been in the republican
column since 1904. Old Virginia and North
Carolina came very near gong repub-
lican in 1896. The phrase solid south
seems to be used now TO embrace only
the states that formed the Gonfederacy.
with a strong democratic ticket we would
win back Delaware. Maryland. West Vir-
ginia, Kentucky and Missouri"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

81 have been interested in lists OF
questions which educators publish
from time to time, and while a ma
jority Of the questions are easy to
answer, If one has an encyclopedia
few are 'stumpers.' said a man.
Questions bearing on political his
tory especially interest me. Most men
OF education have a. good knowledge OF
the outlines of history. but not many
can answer offhand certain facts OF
our American political history. / was
not voter in 1860. but was old enough
to understand things and take interest
in the stirring events leading up 10
the war I heard great deal about
Lincoln and Hamlin. Bell and Everett
and Breckenridge and Lane, but could
not recall who ran for vice president
with Douglas asked several men who
were old enough to vote in 1850 but
not one Of them could answer the ques-
tion. BY searching newspaper fles l
found that Hershel V. Johnson or
Georgia was Douglas running mate
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26
PUZZLED BY ROOSEVELT


Chicago Telegram to the New York Tri-
bune.
Theodore Roosevelt's followers here
usually have little trouble in understand
ing the colonel when he makes a speech
but when he declared in his mass meeting
speech, I'VE stand at Armag edden and
we battle for the Lord" he puzzled a
lot of his supporters. They could under
stand what I'VE battle for the Lord
meant. but they didn't know where. or
what "Armagedden" was
One delegate insisted that it was a bat
tleground in the civil war, but another
delegate was sure he was wrong.
You're way off," he declared That
place is a little station on the railway
on the way up here I remember it very
well because we stopped there for five
minutes and I bought two ham sand
wiches."
One of the Roosevelt delegates who
heard discussion as to where Mr.
Roosevelt was when he declared I'VE
stand at Armagedden," remarked that
he'd settle 1t at once. He knew. he said,
the place was mentioned in the Scrip
lures somewhere, but he wasn't sure
whether it was in Genesis or Revelations.
He rang up the hotel office and said;
Please send me up Bible at once
Whats happened? Chicago must have
converted you. The last thing you ordered
was an absipthe frappe.'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26
Impeachment of Judge Archibald

When Congress returns to work
next week the judiciary committee of
the House, of which Mr.. Clayton is
chairman, will unanimously recon-
mend the impeachment of Judge Arch
bald of the commerce court. Should
the offending judge resign a trial
before the Senate may be avoided
nothing else will.
All told there have been nine i'm
parchment trials in the 125 years of
government under the constitution.
The last one took place in 1905 when
Judge SVayne was acquitted by the
Senate. The necessary two-thirds
vote could not be had to convict him.
He died few years ago.
Judge Archibald will encounter a
Senate much more critical than that
body was when it tried Judge Swayne.
Partisanship will not play prominent
part when Judge Archibald is tried.
He must stand or fall on his merits
whereas Judge Swayne was saved
from sentence of guilty by a parti-
san majority made up of standpat or
old guard republicans.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

From the Chicago Tribune.
Left His Convention Ticket In His
Other Clothes
Dame Who Paid $50 for Her Hat
Compelled by Coliseum Usher to Re-
move IT.
Postmaster Delegate Loses Pocket
book Uncertain Which Crowd to Tackle
for Assistance"
"Spellbinder Robbed of Typewriter
Copy of Nominating Speech; Threatens
to Sue for Damages II Same be Pub
lished Prematurely."
Near Sighted Stranger Looking for
Man Who Sold Him Cigar Coupon for
Ticket of Admission
Had His Money Up on McGovern;
Is walking Home"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

From the New York Press.
Your ship never comes In by itself; you
have to go out and tow 1t in.
A man is brave TO begin married life
and a woman Drawer to so on with it.
A girls waist has TO be mighty slippery
not to stick naturally TO a mans arm.
Jealousy never made anybody anything
but miserable. but there would be some
thing else, anyhow.
The first thing the devil does when he
gets up in the morning is to call up a
woman on the telephone and start her off
with bit OF gossip.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26
HE CHOSE TIE Flat.

you are charged with desertion," said
the judge sternly.
Judge" answered the prisoner at the
bar, Il will explain. Our fiat is SO small
that my wife and l can't live in 1t COM
fortably at the same time. Being natur-
ally tender hearted and considerate of her
welfare, stay on the outside and let her
stay on the inside"
The Judge ruminated Ingenious but
not convincing. Take your choice be-
tween going back to live with your wife
In the narrow confines OF your fiat and
spending six months in our workhouse.
where there is plenty of room"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26
BRACES EPIGRAMS

From the Boston Transcript.
The late General Bragg is entitled to
be remembered among the epigram
makers of the time. I'VE love him for
the enemies he has made owes its
origin to him, and his remark when
defeated for the senatorship, Il have
fallen In the last ditch. stricken down
by a golden bullet" IS also worth a
place In the book of graphic sayings
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26


He entered store and beckoned to
clerk.
Got any red blood socks7" he inquired.
beg PARDON said the salesman.
Socks that grip the heart" said the
would-be customer.
The salesman looked puzzled.
Socks with the real tang of human in
terest. Socks with a punch"
The salesman looked alarmed and be-
gan to back off
II don't understand" he murmured fee
bly,
Hold on. said the prospective pur-
chaser. I'm not dangerous and must
ask you 10 excuse me. I've been reading
a lot of book notices and have become
stepped with the language. What 1 want
is to buy a pair of 80 cent socks" Louis.
vile Courier-Journal
EMBARRASSING QUESTION.
We rise up here
And now TO state.
We ne'er will be
A delegate,
For fear some chap
VIII ask us what
Pro rata of
The "slush" we got.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26
GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS.

Now here" said lady at the corners
Monday, as she sat down to table with
three lady companions and loosened the
neckband of her dress to make respira-
tion more easy and removed a slipper
that was interfering with a corn on a lit
tie toe and rolled up her sleeves and
shifted deck of cards ready for a game
of bridge. lis where friendship ceases
Stockton, Kans., Review.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

HE FoRBoRE.
A poet lay on couch of pain
His end was drawing near;
His relatives could not refrain
From wailing sad to hear.
The poet, on one elbow raised,
His confidence declared
That otherwhere he would be praised
From Hades' fury spared,
Because, although he'd found life hard,
With many rhymsters We'd.
Old Omar, prosecuted bard,
He'd never parodied.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

Gen. Edward s. Bragg is dead. 1t was
he who said of Grover Cleveland, I'VE
love him for the enemies he has made"
This was the veterans only immortal cpl
gram.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
AWAKENING

A " AK EN- ING.
Into the heart of sorrow"
Stole a song.
Sweet dreams of tomorrow
Gaily throngi
Into the house of weeping
Crept a smile.
Lol the sun upleaping.
Lies worth whilel
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

The Pennsylvania delegation at Chicago
sang We'll hang Boies Penrose on a sour
apple tree" To ft the case they should
have made 1t a plum tree.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26
WOMEN OF THE WATERWAYS

geraniums fill the little square windows
and even the small slxylight becomes an
lmprovised conservatory, by means of
few boards laid across its beams, wherein
hourishing flower pots and boxes give
touch of summer throughout the bleakest
days. And she has her sun parlor. too,
for In winter. in order to have a "loolx-
out" and change from the darker cabin
below. the boatmen build little storm
houses on the upper decks One of these,
whose owner has been 60 years on the
water, is painted to simulate red bricks,
and would tempt even millionaire
baby to want to play house inside.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

IL you have joined the new party then
get out your bandanna. Even the mil
lionaires in 1t are expected to carry the
new war banner.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

mid-winter treats Is to open jar of
homemade preserves or canned fruit
and think of the good old summer time
when Jack Frost has all nature under
rule"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

The elephant is handicapped with both
Taft and Sherman and IT Will never hear
this year the electoral college yell.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

If the Cuban rebels destroy the tobacco
crop Connecticut will be hard pushed to
supply the demand for Havana cigars.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

The four months and a half that In
tervene before election day will be needed
to explain to the voters why ]. Schooicraft
sherman was renominated.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

The prohibitonists will yet hold ma
tionai convention. The socialists have al
ready nominated Mr.. Debs.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

The protective policy is now lined up
against a revenue tariff, and the people
will decide in November.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

All of the standpatters are indicated
except Statesman Bill Lorimer.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

The new Orchestra hall party will con-
sist almost wholly of outs
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

There is no vacancy, says DR.. Lyman
Abbott, on the outlook staff
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

Governor Dix and Mr.. Murphy took sep
arate trains to Baltimore. They do not
enjoy each others society.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

There is no alliance of seven little gov
ernors at Baltimore.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

Boss Barnes says he can see nothing hut
harmony ahead of the republican party,
He must be looking at least 10 years
ahead.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

Governor Dix desires to be his own sue
cessor In New York. and he VIII prob
ably secure denomination.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

1t was not an iceberg but a Napoleon
that wrecked the republican party.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

The machine bosses say popular pri-
maries are dead. but bosses sometimes
count chickens too early.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

After this week baseball VIII resume at
the old stand and the people will be
happy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

The sage Of Oyster Bay went back home
still fighting the great battle of Armag-
eddon.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26
EcoNoMIzrNG.

LOO4tO4l1zk14s1.
Poor Mr.. Rockefeller has reduced the
number of his automobiles from FIVE to
four, since the government ordered the
dissolution of the Standard OIL company
Isn't IT painful to think OF anybody hay
ing to worry along through life with
only four automobiles?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

The crowds turn readily from politics to
the baseball bulletins.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26
WAS IT PERK. Z?


Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner,
Reading the Morning Dispatch;
And he said to himself,
WHO spent all this pelf,
T. RS nomination to catch?"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

In Chicago there is a loud demand for
the disinfection of the convention hall.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

Behold the prune-fed humorist-
We hope some day he'll choke
Who always looks the saddest when
He's bout to spring a joke.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1912-06-26

oyster Bay begins to look more and
more like Helena.