davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20
II have a fishing boat and "A chauffeur

@AA we OaIhAtt6 ItOII u
In Georgia they tell of a prisoner who
had been convicted q dozen times of steal
ing, who. when placed at the bar for his
latest offence. displayed a singular curios.
ity.
Your Honor said he. II should like
to have my case postponed for a week.
MY lawyer is sick"
But" said the magistrate. You were
caught with your hand in this gentle.
mans pocket. What can your counsel say
In yOur defence?'
Exactly SO. your Honor: that is what
I am curious to know
Mrs. Humphrey Ward and her novel.
were being discussed. A poet said: ~ met
The Humphrey Wards during the last
London season. Poor Humphrey himself
is rather ~Overshadowed by his wife. and
l think he feels 1t. At dinner a. lady. said,
In Olden times men claimed that 1t was
possible for them to make themselves in.
visible. h is still possible, madam.
said Humphrey Ward. In his grave. sad
way. Possible for q man to make him.
self invisible!' the lady cried. How or
earth can he do it?' BY marrying a cele.
brated WIFE, was the reply
-
A rich Chicago broker was strollinR or
State street mi day when his beautiful
young wife stole up behind him, threw
her arms around his neck, and kissed him
heartily. Tut! tut" the man said. hur.
riedly Strengthening his hat. Tut tut
This sort of thing. my dear. is most un.
dignihed.' His wife dropped her eyes anG
answered demurely: -..Oh, excuse me, Johr
II didn't know 1t was you"
Prisoner at the bar. I find YOU have
been sentenced to prison twice before
what have you to say why<I should moi
send you there again. II urge. Won,
nonor. the generally accepted feelins
against a third term"
The court clerk says in accent low
Your charged with speeding. Richard
Roe"
The copper says in accents sour:
the rate was eighteen miles an hour,
The chauffeur murmurs with a whine:
II wasn't going over nine"
The judge aside his law book laws.
And says: Ten dollars or ten days,
ii Some OF the answers given by candidate,
Tor the Chicago police force At q recen,
examination. were:
The duties OF . policeman are to guard
the peace n limb Of the city
III I found . man on my beat suffering
with = broken leg. / would ask him nj,
name. address. age. occupation. married
Or single, and would then rec IL he would
rather 60 nome or to q hospital"
Burglary IL . crime where you crawl ii
. mans house with the intention Of in.
t1midating 10 steal"
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

Private" John Allen went to visit an
old friend at q hospital in New Orleans.
The invalid was being fcdss on a diet of
egg n sherry. and Allen asked him how.
he liked 1t.
John" said the friend sadly. ut would
be all right II the egg was as new as the
sherry q the sherry as old as the
egg."
There 10 a good story concerning a GER
tain trip Of inspection, when Louis Hill
and q party Of officials were taking a peek
Lot the station agents somewhere along the
limo in Minnesota. AT q station we may
call Oscarville. an agent, perhaps fore
trucks and Cleaning up"
There's . hustler for you" said one
OF b party.
"Humph.'' said Hill.~
At another station the ,agent met them
s~ratlingly. smoking a good cigar and clad
In his best clothes. He was frankly idling
yet nothing was askew.
well, what do you think OF that?'' COM
mented one Of Hills friends, there's an
agent woh has time to loaf"
"Humph." said Hill.
4 month later the .'loAfer'' was pro-
NOTED.
III : man can get the work done With
ont doing Il himself. he's the man for
nae" was the explanation OF the railroad
president.
Fred Kelly began his busy life sell-
ing papers IN an Ohio city. Hes had
u Subscribers. but nj day one Of
them. q negro. stopped his paper.
Kelly went around to see what was
the trouble. 81
what's the matter with the paper!.
!. oh. replied the former patron.
'sstt,ess top many notwithstanding. i
don min Z few, but when I pick IN
q pepah 4 wants al leas' half Of e
filled VII logic.
me mayor oe I French town hal. in &C.
Fccs1ance With stAe regulations. 10 MAKE
out : pAaspert for . fich, ard highiy ~
Fs~pectahle laAy az his Acquaintance. who.
|inssptts ofsa stiaft { disthspfement, was
Evo.yAvalA 81 Observation-Disclosures
no. sn1o&tvesxpohteuss nrQpppfsd rim "a
11ose ovsr the dsfGSS III. Aaster 3 10.
Qbantse reASctton. ~ swroee arnon9 IN
1872 49, - n EF1"EtZ LNAEE 1870 EHrEl
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

lars. Her friend was Very much im-
pressed, and remarked:
Them sho' is fine clo'cs. but befo'
Heaven, what is you goin' to do wild all
dis black underwear"
The bereaved one sighed:
Chile, when ! NOUNS ] NOUNS"
A. A. Whipple. who was in the real es
tate business in Kansas City when Ninth
and Grand avenue property was listed as
suburban" is regarded as a hero by his
personal friends. In assuming this atti-
tude, they take the ground that any man
who will go ahead and do a thing against
his most mortal fears is deserving of a
Carnegie medal the size of a sinner plate.
The thing in question is the making of
public speeches.
II regard an invitation to make an after
dinner talk as a challenge Mr.. Whipple
said one day. II argue this way: My
friend Blank believes l am afraid to face
a crowd and make n speech: he doubts
my personal courage. Now it's up to me
to show Blank I'm a better man than
he takes me to be. III my knees tremble
and knock together l shall lean against
the table so he will never know. l am in
some respects like the soldier who was
charging with the rest of his regiment
up the heights of Vicksburg but SO scared
he looked like a ghost. A comrade next
to him was unafraid and wen smiled at
the torrents of grape shot that swept the
ranks. The comradc. noticing his friends
plight. turned to him and said with =
sheer:
"'Coward!'
Coward YOURSELF retorted the fright
ened soldier. old man. if you were one
tenth as scared as l am, you'd have brok-
en- ranks and run, long ago."
.r.o1 ~-.~ l-.- 49,.
in LOuisvil Tile to be treated for q PAINFUL
sensation i'll one of his ears. The doctor
examined and found the ear was full OF
water.
How did this happen he asked after
he had drained the ear--"been going in
swimming?"
Nav. sub" said the little darky-..been
eatfn' watG.melon".
When Hartford Marshall. the New York
lawyer. was an assistant district attorney
under jerome. he was charged with prose-
cutions of the fortune tellcrs and AXE
mediums who infested parts of the city.
Marshall got evidence against a so-called
crystal. gazer and sent County Detective
Al Thomas to Make the arrest.
Thomas. pretending to be a customer.
called ON the seer and asked for q read
ing. The faker took Thomas brawny left
palm In one hand and his crystal ball In
the other. and after peering in a rapa
manner. first at one and then at the other,
seemed to go off into a trance. Presently
his lips moved.
"A shape is lowering above met" he said
in impressive tones. "It nearer and
nearer-it is an angel!''
Great" said Thomas. IF said anRe
is a friend of yours you'd better bring
him along with you to put up the bail.
You're pinched!"
When Charles A. Cottcriil was making
an automobile tour in northwestern Ohio
mo- . long time ago with a member Of
congress the machine got stuck in the
mud. and the party invaded a farmers
house. with a reauest for dinner.
Il don't know ou.' said the congress.
man to the. farmer, ''and. you don't know
me. but YOU elected me to congress-. and
now want you to give us a dinner"
The ar1ne and his wife furnished an
elaborate meal, and 1t was when the re-
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

There has been a marked Increase in
Europe In the use Of cremation as q
year there were 1855 cremations in
Germany, as against $500 In 1910. AT
present there arc 30 crematories In
Germany and almost as many in Italy,
In England there were 1888 cremations
In 1911. ~ against $40 in 1910. Re-
Gently Switxerland has passed q law
which practically makes interment ex-
ceptional.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

The German ministry Of education
proposes to Introduce the use Of the
clnomatograph in various courses ut
institutions Of higher education. Films
for courses in anatomy, biology and
,bactertology arc already available in
Germany. a leading philanthropist has
presented two fully equipped moving
picture machines to the schools of
Berlin. one Of which 10 ( o be used in
the higher normal schools and the 9TH
or In the hlgh schools.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

The mar with the longest name in
the world has been n~aturalized at FIT.
Worth. Tex. He is a Greek. works in a
packing house and il 81 years old. AZ
he 10 only s feet, 4 inches tall, his name
10 nearly al long as himself. The new
citizens name, which contains 30 let
ters, IL
topolos. His farst name 10 Gus. Mr..
Pap, ETC., wal unable to pronounce 1t
himself before the federal commissions
Or, who commenced to hear 1t at I
o'clock and finished at 3.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

Tho latest in automobile paints comes
from England. One Of the largest
Arms there has just brought out q new
varnish called "Lumino Aluminium
Paint" and 1t il stated that the glow
OF the paint on a dark night is 20
bright that the car is visible for two
miles without being dtted with lamps.
People on the roads near the factory at
1rst were frightened by the strangely
glowing, lightless cars which silently
SKINNED through the village.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

Recently in San Francisco bay the
new submarine boat FL established a
worlds record for depth during "a six
hour submerged cruise. The craft went
down to a depth Of 2Ss feet and main
tanned this depth for 10 minutes while
travelling at q speed Of six knots. then
rising to a depth Of 10 feet 1t proceed
ed al a speed Of eight knots. The pre-
.vious record for depth was held by the
Seal. a lake type submarine. officially
designated G-1. when went to a depth
Of 366 feet.-Chicago Tribune.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

BY the provisions Of Q new ordinance
IN Minneapolis, no GIRL under the age of
1e years may take part In any public
theatrical unless she has the consent
OF ~ women, representing ~ many
organizations. This cabinet OF women
was appointed 70 IN amendment to ~
ordinance which required the consent
Of b mayor or the president Of the
city council.-Nunicipal Facts.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

One Of switssrland's noted glaciers.
that Of ealeinex. hal fallen . victim to
commercialism. Since the openinr a.
the Great st. Bernard railroad It ~
been found worth while to quarry Tic
glacier and sell tho ice. First It Il
blasted with dynamite and then the
blocks are shot down m inclined plane,
almost = mile and Q half IN length. 60
b bottom o1 the valley.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

An English physician says that BLUSH
ing is q temperamental popularity. In
most cases the sufferers are sensitive
and shy. and with the first blush they
become acutely self-conscious. Usually
the infirmity IL merely di~sagreeable,
and simply lessons the pleasure that
-Sught to be felt in conversation and
social intercourse, out In some cases
the habit of blush1ng is SO marked that
Il might almost b called a disease. In
such cases 1t virtually banishes the SUI
ferer from society, however much he
may be fitted in other ways for intel
lectual companionship.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20
S THE FATHER
OF SAVED HUMANITY
~ PASTOR RUSSELL

Cincinnati. Ohio.
Dec. 8. - Pastor
Russell's meetings
eel the religious
feature here today
We report one Of
his addresses from
the text: He shall
be called the Ever
lasting Father
Isaiah X s.
Gods people tU-
day have superior
advantages for
Bible study
eral ability to read,
convenient Bibles,
better lights. more
comfortable quar-
tiers, a m nor
H-S-. A. A.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

The principal poison In absinthe l. :
vegetable substance known q thyion.
IN making absinthe. Francs a nc
largest consumer Of absinthe. takine
Q than al the rest of Europe. ~
consumption has beon steadily a.
creasing. % that IN 1911 over 1000. 00e
gallons OF a1sinths were used Is
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-20

Her friend was very much inn
pressed. and rc.narked:
Them To- is fine clo'cs. but befo'
Heaven, what is you goin' to do wild all
dis black underwear"
The bereaved one sighed:
Chile. when ! NOUNS ] NOUNS"
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1912-02-02
INDIANA HARBOR.

Mrs. Fred Stafford of Fir street en-
tertained with a luncheon yesterday in
honor of Mr.. Stafford's sister, Miss f,
Stafford, whose marriage to Joseph
Knox will occur during the early part
of march. in Fslkhart. The table was
beautifully decorated with hearts and
cupids with a centerpiece of a large
heart filled with roses. During the aft
ernoon the guests made Kitchen hold
ers" for the prospective bride, Mrs.
Charles Egbert winning the first prize
for dizziness in this occupation. The
prize was a hand-rainted plate
At meeting of the Royal Neighbors
at x. of P. hall tonight the newly
elected officers will be installed. All
officers and members are requested to
be present.
The women's club of Indiana Harbor
win hold an election of officers at their
next regular meeting. which is to take
place Monday night. at the home of
Mrs James spittle. Baltimore avenue.
All members are urged to be present
Miss Vera Tsan of Grand Haven,
Mich. is the guest of Mrs. A. NJ. Little
of Ivy street. Miss Tsaf was guest
at the Stafford luncheon yesterday.
Beverly Chew has left the South Bay
hotel for the present. to spend the re-
mainder of the winter in Chicago. He
will return to the South Bay in the
spring.
Ernest Summers entertained ten cou :
pies at her home in Grapevine street
last night. Games and conversation
were the order of the evening, after
which lunch was served
Mrs. A. c. Lundquist of Ivy street
will entertain the Embroidery club at
her home this afternoon.
Mr.. and Mrs. ]. Yant of Ivy street
are the parents of a girl baby, born
to them "Wednesday. Mrs. Vent and the
baby are doing we'll.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1912-02-02
LOOK FOR BATTLE
ON FORWARD PASS
Hot Scrimmage Expected at
Meeting of Intercollegi-
ate Rules Committee.
FIRST SESSION TO-DAY
Stage Of Chicago and Davis of Prince
ton Will Champion the
g Present Code.

With the abolition or preservation of
the forward pass as an issue the inter
collegiate football rules committee will
hold its annual meeting in New York
today and tomorrow Since the adop-
tion of this ground gaining play, in the
winter of 1905. 1t has been the bone of
contention at every meeting Size, and
there are not a few of the committee
who want to see the play obliterated
entirely.
That there is going to be a bitter
fight is assured. With A A Stage of
Chicago and Parke II. Davis Of Prince
ton acting as champions of the stand
pattersa and Harry l. Williams of
Minnesota and Walter Camp of Yale
leading the forces who are in favor of
the abolition of the forward pass,
long drawn out battle is expected.
Those opposed to the forward pass
and the ten-yard rule are of the opin-
ion that the stronger eievens seldom
win by scores which demonstrate the,
comparative strength of the teams.
These persons also assert the distance
between the twenty five yard lines
should be lessened, and when a team
places the oval within the twenty five
yard lines, the distance to be gained in
three downs should be shortened even
more
The standpatters. are in favor of
giving the present code another years
trial They believe the game as 1t now
stands will work out to the satisfac-
ton of all, and in this belief they are
going to make their fight. Since the
adoption of the forward pass changes
have been made yearly in the ruling
and it is hard to conceive of way to
remove any more restrictions unless
the play is abolished entirely.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1912-02-02
FIGHTS 6 MEN IN
ONE RING AND BEATS
five OF Them
Tommy Coleman Undergoes
Unique Test Before Phil
adelphia Boxing Club.

Philadelphia, Pa, Feb Tommy
Coleman was put through severe
test at the Broadway club last night.
meeting six men one round each. AL
though Kid Tracey succeeded in earn
ing an even break during the three
minute session, the frankfort negro
won victories over the other five.
The first to trot out was See-Saw
Kelly. The latter is usually an indif-
ferent fighter. hut he cut loose and
rushed at Coleman. swinging both
hands. Coleman was easily Keily's
master, however, and once had him In
bad shape against the ropes.
Bert Whirlwird put up good clever
exhibition in the second period, but
Coleman managed to get through with
a hair-Iine verdict.
Next came Tracey The latter slam
banged and roughed it up and earned
an even break. Old Steve Crosby the
former star lightweight boxer, was
outpointed in the third period.
Jack Fink, the fghting Marine. did
good work for about a minute in the
fifth session and then blew up.
The last round fighter to face Cole
man was Barney Ford. Coleman let
him do all the leading for about half
the distance, after which Barney tired
and Coleman had Ford covering up
when the thing ended.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1912-02-02
SPORTING NOTES.
BY SPIKE,

The third polo game between the In
diana Harbor and East Chicago quin-
tets will be played at the Lewis skat-
ing rink Saturday evening. Feb. 8, and
both teams are looking for hard
fought game East Chicago has cap
tured two games from Indiana Harbor
this season and are in hopes of taking
a third straight victory. The Harbor
five has put in some hard practice
work this week and will play like Tro-
jams to win.
Lake county. boxing followers were
gratified this morning to learn that
the McFarland-Murphy go will be stag
ed at South Bend, Wednesday. Feb. IA.
A number have already made plans to
attend the ten-round bout and prep
arations are being made to run a spe-
cial for their benefit.
The Meteor basketball quintet of
Chicago defeated the Emerson school
of Gary at the steel city last night in
a closely contested game. The final
score stood 31-2s. It was either team s
game and they were evenly matched.
both teams playing snappy basketball
The Meteors pulled themselves out of a
hole in the last half, scoring the needed
points to win. The lineup:
/ Meteors (s1)-Dernberger, IF; Chad
wick. II: Dodd. c; REM. rg. Gustaf Ig
Emerson School (2s)-Cusick, rf
Kennel, II; Koenig, C; Greding. rg
| Shrimp. lg.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1912-02-02
.BOMBARD|ER WELLS TO.
PAY US. SOCIAL VISIT
WON TBATTLE JOHNSON
English Heavyweight Cham
pion Will Sail For the
u. S. March 2.

London. Feb. 2.--Bombardier Wells,
the heavyweight champion of England.
sails March for the United States.
Wells is considered the Sir George
Alexander of the ring ever here, being
tall. cleancut and with the face of a
Creek god. He is the picture card rage
and a decided favorite with the fair
members of society.
Wells jumped into prominence when
he defeated .'Porky" Flynn, the Ameri-
can pugilist. At that encounter the
arena was Well filled with titled ladies';
in fact m(e of the weaker sex were
present than the sterner gender.
Wells enjoys the reputation of being
the first pugilist that became society
craze. He declares that his trip
abroad is strictly a pleasure jaunt. but
it is limited that he may arrange for a
match with Jack Johnson, the worlds
champion. Wells was matched to fight
Johnson here last year. but the battle
was prevented owing to strong public
disapprobation.
In the opinion of Eugene Corri, the
famous referee, Wells has a big chance
of beating Johnson on account of his
youth, clean living and skill
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1912-02-02
DOYLE IS DEAD: LOSS HARD
BLOW TO CUBS HOPES
succumbs to Effects of Appendicitis Operation Became
Star in Two Years.

Syracuse. \. Y, Feb. Jimmy Doyle
is dead. The brilliant young third
baseman OF the Chicago Cubs passed
away at o'clock last night from the
effects of an appendicitis operation.
The death came as no great surprise.
as the doctors gave up all hope OF
saving him early yesterday afternoon.
Last evening it was announced that he
could not live until midnight He put
up a plucky fight to the end.
The young ball player was operated
on Monday afternoon at st. Joseph's
hospital He rallied well from the
shock. and on Tuesday morning the
attending physicians announced Ne
would recover. That night he suffered
a relapse from which he never rallied.
The death of Doyle robs baseball of
one of Its most promising players.
Though a major Lacquer for less than
two years, he had come to be regard
ed as one of the best fighters in the
game and player who would be one
of the greatest stars the national pas
time ever produced
Doyle Joined the Chicago Cubs last
year after a brief trial at Cincinnati,
wonderful playing kept the Chicago
club in the pennant race at times when
it looked as II the team was about to
crumble. He hit well, being one of the
best of the Cubs in the years aver
ages. and above all he never knew
when the team was whipped
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1912-02-02
GARY TEAM DEFEATED

The Tabernacle A. C. of Chicago
played the E.. !. & f. five at Emerson
school last night and rolled up a score
ofJ31 to % in favor of the Tabernacle
team.
All through the first half the E, J.
& f. seemed to have the game swing
ing their way. but the Tabernacle I'VE
finally rallied and at the end of the
first half the score stood II to 16 in
favor of the E., j. & E. FIVE. Six of
the eight baskets made by the Taber-
nacle team were made in the last four
minutes of the first half.
In the second half the "J'' team
seemed to weaken and rallied very
slowly, but in this rally the visitors
had scored five baskets. The E., J. &
E. saw that something must be done
and dropped four baskets in less time
than it takes to tell 1t. When the score
stood only one point in favor of Tab
ernacle both teams seemed to rally
suddenly and played an even and fast
game to the finish, when the score
reached 81 to 20 in favor of the Chicago
team. Lineup:
E., J. G. E.-Cusick, f Kinzel. I;
Kienig, c, Greding, g; Shrimp, &.
Observation-Disclosures f; Chad
wick. f; Dodd. e; Gustaf. g: REM. g.
Dodd. center OF the Tabernacle five,
and Greding, right forward of the ~
team, each made seven baskets, or Ii
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1912-02-02
The National college association has

The National College association has
instructed its representative to vote
for the amendments presented by DIR.
Williams of Minnesota Some of Will
1iams' ideas are to lessen the distance
between the two twenty five yard lines
from ten to seven yards and the dis
lance to be gained inside of the TWEEN
ty-yard lines to the goal line to be
shortened to five yards. williams also
is a strong advocate of allowing tho
ball to be thrown any distance into
the enemy's territory, which viii do
away with the neutral zone, which
does not permit of throws more than
twenty yards. It Is believed these al
teratioHs will increase the scoring
possibilities OF the attacking teams.