The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1912-08-01
Bilkins.

Bilkins is made up of ten equal
parts, two human, one goodness, and
seven mischief or devilment. He
never has a bad taste in his mouth.
and if he ever had a serious thought,
he was alone.
Before Pasteur made his discovery
of the treatment of rabies or hydro
phobia, Bilkins was bitten by real
mad dog, and he lost no time in 60
ing to his family physician, who
dressed the wound, and put him on a
treatment much to his liking. He
told Bilkins to keep up that treat
ment for three weeks at least, and
to have all the fun and mischief that
he could, to play practical jokes on
any one and every one he could.
So Bilkins returned home, smil-
ing from ear to ear like an April
morning or a sixteen year old miss
engaged for the first time. He told
Mrs. Bilkins what the doctor had
said in regard to his treatment. and
of course under the circumstances
she was willing that he should carry
it out, but not to carry either the
treatment or the jokes to any unwaT-
ranted extent.
The nearest neighbor to Bilkins
was old man Grey. Now this old
man knew it was his duty to go to
see Bilkins, but he feared that Bill
kins might go mad while he was
there, and even if Bilkins did him
no harm the very thoughts of. such
thing would kill him then and
there. But the old man went one
night, and ere he saw Bilkins, he
had a talk with Mrs. Bilkins, and in
this talk asked her if her husband
had shown any signs of going mad.
Bilkins overheard this and right
then he made up his mind to have
some fun out of old man Grey. When
the old man entered the room where
Bilkins was, he wanted to know
what he could do for him, and Bill
kins told him that he could give him
dose of medicine, which the old
man did. After taking this medicine,
Bilkins began to growl like a dog,
and when he did so, old man Grey in
his stampede out of the house,
knocked down chairs and everything
else that came in his way.
Bilkins saw that old man Grey
was easily frightened, and he knew
that the old man had to pass by his,
Bilkins's home, next morning, so
Bilkins was up early fixing up foE'
old man Grey. Bilkins had a long
tail coat. One skirt of this he took
off. He cut two holes in cap, and
through this drew out two long locks
of hair, making it appear that he was
wearing horns; he combed out his
long side whiskers, and did every
thing else to appear ugly and when
he had completed this toilet CD he
| was a fright. He went near the road
| where old man Grey had to pass
and concealed himself. Soon old
man Grey appeared, and was talking
| to himself. Said he: Il know they
have got Bilkins chained down, fer
| it's teetotal fact that sich crazy
critter amt safe ter have loose
| amongst sane people: an jess sup
pose he'd bite a feller in passing.
| Why dog-gone eff that would do at
ALL"
Just then came Bilkins from his
hiding place, looking much more like
the devil than he did like human
| being, growing, snarling, and bark
ing like a dog. Old man Grey yelled
out, "Oh my Lord, save me-" and
| down the road he went with Bilkins
following, barking like deep-mouth-
ed hound pursuing Reynard. Here
went old man Grey and here went
Bilkins. However, the old man took
to the woods and Bilkins lost his
trail.
The night following Bilkins went
to a near neighbor's, took away his
back steps, went to the fowl-house,