New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-09-15

Then the crowd dispersed for home ana
rest In the routine OF work Entertain
ment I'm plenty was given az these BAN
quets by the humorists, some OF whom
being popular. had To work overtime. For
instance until he rebelled so violently
that II was feared harm would be done
some one. Strickland Gillian had TO re-
cite "Finnigdn." But even at that he told
stories, all Of which were In high favor.
one especially:
An Irish couple, living In Philadelphia,
took 10 hard drinking, for which they
should be Judged mcrc!fully. They drank
up their money, jewels and furniture.
one morning Mike got up and held MS
head In his hand--or least as much OF
Il az he could get there-and tried WIN
his good wife TO recall a portion or the
nights history. II was all very hazy
and both OF them were athirst for
touch OF liquor. ,,..
Mike only shook his head, considering
the case hopeless.
Mind We. Moile. dear. Take off ,yurr
coat and hang IL over the cheer. Roll
up ynr shelves and pick oop yur Guild
dinner pail. Walk doom past Ryan place
and he'll think yez has tawb ana he
give yez a drink. Yez was always good
pay when yez had Jawb. ,,,.
of the idea. but II was an idea az mat
and the air might do him good anyway'
SO he hung up his coat ana walheo uo""
the street with his empty dinner pan.
To forestall any miscarriage or jusuce
he staged a violent NJ of coughing When
ne came opposite Ryans. Pat Ryan
came out. ~,
Good marnin' to yez, Moike, an VIII
yez jine me In bit of an eye-opener!
Nav said Mike, i nave Jd"o anu
must hurry along
"Go avn with yez. Moike, sure and yur
always good pay when yur wurrukin'.
Come have bit OF "A dhrink. 49,,
So Mike went in and took MS drink
and properly urged. took another ana
then accepted a cigar He came out on
the street made sure that Ryan was not
looking, lodged into an alley and made
for home. ~ -. 49,.
sure. gurrul. It's a foine head yez
have ON ycZ." he said IT'S foine head.
Yur ideer got me two drinks ana
segar-r.' 49,,
piled Maggie II got pint out oV IL
mcsel'." ,
"Yez got a plnt-how did ye7 do 1t
gurrulY' In
liant Maggie.
j. l.. Higginbothams wit was In evil
dence always. lie led of with one story.
which took" and continued on others
equally pleasing j. L. II. told how, at
theatre, he and his wife heard the story
OF the Irish carpenter in Philadelphia
who drove five nails In two hours and was
arrested for fast driving. Said j. u. H.:
This seemed SO perfectly respectable 1t
couldn't be misunderstood. and yet 1t
changed completely when my wife tried
TO Iepcat H. She said Philadelphia
carpenter had driven five nails In two
hours and was arrested for speeding.
Douglas Malloch. like many others,
showed the range OF the humorst In
telling stories that were funny and recit-
ing poetry Of his own making which
touched on philosophy-that philosophy
which underlies the jokesmith' trade.
one of his stories had to do with a tired
business man who lay In a BARRIERS chair
for a shave. The barber went over the
face a couple Of times, and through
Jack" Johnson's record and the Nation
al League standings, and then asked:
"Shall / go over the chin again. SIR
NO" yawned the customer. L guess l
can remember 1t ALL
And his poem-one OF his poems-which
was in great demand and which revealed
the spirit of the thinker beneath the garb
OF the Jester, was entitled To-day
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