davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
MANIcUREs FOR ANIMALS
Departments to Care for Nails and
Bills Started at Zoo In
Philadelphia.

Philadelphia, Pa--So as to keep the
nails of the animals from the lion to
the monkey and the bills of the birds
from the eagle to the canary in good
shape. Yell-equipped manicuring and
dental establishment is maintained at
the geological gardens. The depart
ment Is under the supervision of Head
Keeper Manley, and 1t moves Its
sphere of work from cage to cage in
the various houses, as the occasion de-
mands. It is constantly at work
The tools employed by the mani
curists in connection with their labor
among the creatures differ materially
from the dainty utensils used by the
blonde Venus of the barber lshop, and
consist of hammer. chisel, often a
Ratchet and saw. and always a large,
rugged file about IA inches long. A
sharp, strong pair of steel wire nip
larger cats
The manicuring establishment at the
gardens was organized by Superin-
tendent Carson. Realizing that the
animals could not wear Off their nails
on the boards of the cages as quickly
as they could on the rocks of their ma
tive haunts, and that because of this
the claws frequently grew long, turned
and penetrated the soft part of the
foot, Mr.. Carson decided that in order
to alleviate the distress caused by In
growing nails these would have to be
clipped.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Fares, Please.

II was a street car conductors duty
in the church of which he was a
member to take up the collection one
day. and. as 1t happened, IT, was his
first experience. He was little ner-
vous as he started down the center
aisle, but that soon wore off and he
began to feel almost at home.
There were several chilren in the
first pew. and each put in a penny
The people in the next pew also con
tributed something each.
A big glum fellow sat alone in the
third pew. The new collector passed
him the plate, but the man shook his
head and stuck his hands deep in his
pockets.
Thereupon the conductor stopped
put his hand mp as IL to jerk the bell
cord, and said, "Well, you'll have to
get off
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Use for Gramophone.

I've found new use for those
gramophone records you bought last
week and which cost such a lot of
money said his wife.
How clever. you are.' he exclaimed.
What is your latest?"
+" In the first place." she began, 1T
hold skein of the wool on a reel. tie
one end of the wool on a reel, place
the reel on the gramophone pin and
then start the machine. The wool is
wound up in no time"
The fond husband gasped in admir-
alton.
But that is not ALL" she continued.
Tomorrow / shall place little bath
brick on one of the records, start the
Igramophone and so clean the knives"
He is still gasping.-San Francisco
Chronicle.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Old Reindeer Inn.

with its beautiful stone mullicned win
dow. Its panelled walls and its plas-
tered ceiling, is said to contain the
finest Jacobean work in the country.
The date 1887 Is carved on the panel
ling. and 1t was in this room that
Cromwell is recorded as holding a
council just before the battle of Edg-
hill.
In the process of removing the pan
cling some interesting finds" have
been made. Many old coins have been
picked up. the majority being of cop
per and belonging to the eighteenth
century. But the most striking dis
covery has been a double barreled pis-
tol hidden away behind the paneling
near the fireplace. 1t Is in excellent
preservation and between the two bar
rels runs the inscription: Presented
to Dick Turpin. at the White Bear Inn.
Drury Lane, February 7. 1885" and
the name OF the maker is given as
Baker. London.
Banbury has no legend associating 1t
with the famous highwayman, but the
genuineness OF the relic is taken for
granted.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
CITY OF BAnBuRY PASSES
Famous Old Place in England is Being
pespoiicd, While Many Relics
Are Revealed.

London--The glory of Banbury In
departing. 1t is no longer necessary
TO go to Banbury to eat Banbury
cakes; they can be bought In London
The old cross. dear to the old lady
who rode white horse" and to the
hmatesof countless nurseries, has been
replaced by a modern spirelike erec-
ton; but still the pride of Banbury re-
manned. could the old Globe room be
seen; and now that is going, and the
folks OF Banbury are angry because
they think it is being despoiled for the
qualification of American antique hunt
ers.
The old Reindeer inn itself bears the
date Of 1862 and is full OF. quaint pam
eled rooms. with waving, irregular
ceilings and unexpected beams, and in
its courtyard is the Globe room, which,
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Catching the Fish.

The customer had waited fifteen
minutes for the fish he had ordered
He was very quiet as he sat there
but internally there was a seething
At the end of the sixteenth minute
the waiter, who had been in total
eclipse for fifteen and half min.
utes, hustled up.
That fish will be here sir in five
minutes"
Five minutes elapsed three times
Then the waiter hustled up again.
The fish will be here, sir, in d
minute"
The customer turned to him.
Tell me-" he said quietly, but with
a certain emphasis, what bait are
you using?"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
"ExcIamatoryu Was RIoht.

Mrs Mason's colored washerwoman,
Martha. was complaining of her hus-
bands health.
why. is he sick, Martha?" asked
Mrs. Mason.
Hes ve'y poly. ma'am, poly" an
swered the woman. He's got the ex-
clamatory rheumatism"
You mean infiammatory, Martha"
said the patron. Explanatory means
to cry out"
Yes, ma'am." replied Martha, with
conviction; "dat's what 1t is. He hol-
lers all the time."-Judge.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
When Is
Girl Old
Enough
tn
Marry?
by Mrs. C. kayser, San Francisco

follow ecatessen with quick order meals attract
the wies attention When hubby home she to the
store and gets the ready meal 1t her opinion the way
keep house. But when hubby dpep she will really find out
what trouble is.
girls ambition than Others in
opinion should not marry till she twenty old and the
five older Life not all sunshine married single When
to
keep them to herself She should learn laugh good hearty laugh
is better than medicine
Laugh and the world laughs with YOU cry and you generally
smile The smile that bubbles from that
men, will away clouds GLOOM the
again
young hubby cross him just
and be patient he cannot help loving you
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
RATTLESNAkE BITES BABY
Three Hours After Accident Poison 10
Discharged Child 10
Dead.

Goldendale, Wash.-The three-year-
old daughter of w. B. Smith, who re-
sides on Crofton Prairie. ten miles
west of this city. was bitten by rat
tIesnake in the finger and died just
three and one-half hours after the ac-
cident.
The child stepped out into the gar
den few feet from the house to get a
kitten, and @ she attempted to pick
up the kitten she was struck by the
snake The mother corded the arm
at once and applied such antiseptics
as were available.
The accident occurred a quarter
mile from where Mrs. r. d. Gray was
bitten and died as a res alt about one
year ago. Mrs. Gray was bitten on
the same finger of the same hand.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Works In the Garden Now.

Grown old In the service of his mas
ter and mistress. James was privi-
legged retainer.
He was waiting at table one day.
when a guest politely asked for a fish
fork. Strangely enough, the request
was ignored.
Then the hostess noticed the cpl
sode and remarked In a most peremp-
tory manner:
James, Mrs. Jones hasn't a fish
fork. Get her one at once!"
Madam" came the emphatic reply.
last time Mrs. Jones dined here we
lost fish fork"
James has now been relegated to
the garden.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Quite PARTICULAR.

A clerk in a bank appeared ebfore
the bank president with three days
growth of beard.
James," said the president "you
will have to get shaved"
But SIR said James 81 am
growing a beard"
You may do what you like at
home" snapped the president, "but
you must understand that I'll not
have you growing a beard during Of
flee hours
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Pity
Wholly
a Good
Thing?
By FRANK CRANE. Chicago

heirs this kind Of training pain
become chief mortal force
The history of civilization the story long pain
the sick hospitals provide asyums
We societies for the prevention Of cruelty
theology has abolished the fires of the world.
a
this world like the Albany legislator Who disguised with
bigamy determined stop and introduced
the of gamy abolished Happy
would like to put little interrogation point pain
al a bad thing? And pity wholly good thing?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Her Engagement.

Miss Vivian is much of fiirt and
she has been engaged to a dozen diff
ferent men during the few seasons
she has been on the eligible list. A
few days ago she said to her father:
Pa, you may congratulate me on
having acquired a new object of my
affection"
Il am glad to hear it, he replied.
Il hope you are as happy with him as
you will be with the next one"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Get. Bill Los. Eight Months.

New York-A SO bill lost on Broad
way on October II, is In the hands of
the owner. after having been for eight
months in the hands of Police Com
missioner Waldo.
More than 1000 persons applied to
the commissioner for the money, but
1t remained for John F. J. Sheehan of
Newark, N. j., to make the successful
claim.
Sheehan explained that the money
was blown from his hand by a gust of
wind He had witnesses to prove his
claim.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
The New Sport.

These here New Workers is bound
Silas.
Why" said Uncle Silas, "sence
they give up hoss-racin' they've gone
in heavy fer the turkey trot. Don't
seem to mes If tibet could be very
excitin'."-Harper's Weekly.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Perhans He Had.

The Professor is in his labora-
tory" said the maid. He is conduct
ing some chemical experiments. The
professor has invented a new explo-
sive and if it is success he expects
to go down to posterity."
From the laboratory: "BANG!"
II hope" said the visitor, the pro-
lessor hasn't already gone
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
She Knew Him.

Goodbye forever!" said the young
man, coldly, as he prepared to depart,
Goodbye" said the fair maid in
the parlor scene. But before you go
let me remind you that you can tele-
phone me in the morning ever so
much cheaper than you can send a
messenger. and you can buy me box
of chocolates with the difference"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
The Firat.

A young couple in Berlin are re-
sponsible for the following advertise
ment which appeared in one of the
Berlin newspapers:
'WANTED-A governess. who is a
good stenographer, to take down the
clever sayings of our child"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

The conspiracy to GUST the hobble
by beginning with the pannier not
having succeeded. 1t is now proposed
10 do the trick by having plaits In the
hobble They seem determined to
make women use more cloth someway
or other
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Nv Exnariment.

What was your little boy crying
about last EVENING"" over his lesson
in natural history" "a child of that
age studying natural history? You
astonish mel" TITS SO, just the same.
He was learning the difference be-
tween a wasp and a fly"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Paxtine Antiseptic sprayed into the
nasal passages is a surprisingly sue
cessful remedy for catarrh. At drug
gists, 25c box or sent postpaid on re-
ceipt OF price by The Paxton Toilet
Co., Boston, Mass.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
So Romantic.

"Hark!. observed the romantic
young woman spending her vacation
on the farm. Just hear how those
old trees in the orchard groan in the
storm, like the crying of lost soul"
Well" rejoined her practical and
unromantic companion, Il guess you'd
moan and groan too, If you were as
full of green apples as those trees
are"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

An attempt TO raise considerable
fund of money for the New York teach.
ar who accomplished the gigantic
work OF equalizing salaries in the
schools, has failed lamentably. Post
faeto gratitude is the rarest thing
known to modern science.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
What Experience Teaches.

The turning point with a lot of men
is when pretty girl passes.
The widow with money to burn can
easily get a match
Lots of our coming men" fail to
arrive.
Some of our family trees require a
lot of pruning.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
rr,norrart ~ wWotner.
Their Feelino.

well, old sport, how do you feel?
I've just eaten bowl of ox-tail soup
and feel bully"
I've just eaten a plate of hash and
feel like everything" New Orleans
Times-Democrat
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Adams Hymn.

ooh, mammal" cried Freddie, rush
ing in from church, they sang a
hymn today that Adam must have
sung"
why do you think SO. dear"
asked mamma.
"Cause Il was all about Even
Me-"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

One of the courts has decided that
woman who steps off backward from
a street car has no claim for damages
The wife of the judge who rendered
the decision must be slim and OBJ.
servant
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Afraid of Drafts.

Did you ever see any one so afraid
of drafts as Aunt Martha?"
NO; she'd put wrap on If she
came into the room and found bu-
reau drawer open"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

When is a girl old enough to marry?
When she has sense enough to know that
she honestly loves the man she is going to
marry to stay with him in sickness and
trials. Above all, she must be able to
cook good meal, see that the house is
kept clean, tend to his bodily comforts, be
contented and happy, be she eighteen or
forty years old. There would be fewer di-
vorces if those directions were honestly fol-
lowed.
great number of girls, who marry,
learn to cook after they marry. If the
husband can't agree with the meals, trouble
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Society Note.

What are these society people we
hear about?" asked Mrs. Corntossel
II dunno" replied the farmer. but
as near as l can make out they're
ies' folks that make a regular habit o.
wearin' their Sunday clothes every
day"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Serious for Him.

She: q suppose you have been sit.
ting up with sick friend again. dear?"
He; Yes. l have. Why
She: is it serious case?'
He For him, yesm. He lost all
his money"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Bottle sursts and kIIIs oIrI.

New York.-Jennie Weiss, servant.
died In city hospital, her jugular
vein having been cut by a fragment
of glass when settler bottle expiod.
ed as she was placing 1t in a refrig-
orator.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

An exchange tells us that France
Is training eagles to attack aeroplanes.
Far be it from us to contradict any.
body. but the man who invented that
story has all the qualifications OF a
successful fisherman,
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Chicago Judge has announced
that he will send to jail for six months
every chauffeur who hits a pedestrian
and doesn't stop. That's right. IFS
only fair to give pedestrians a chance
to bit back the man who hits them.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

China insists that II she borrows
any money she must be allowed to
spend 1t in her own way. If the lend.
ers do not like that they need not
lend it. This seems reasonable,
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

A Pennsylvania minister has come
frankly out in opposition to the pro.
posed coinage of one-half cent ana
three-oent pieces. He says the
churches would suffer. The bumor.
ousiy minded disclosed this probahil.
ity sometime ago. and the voice of az.
nerfence confirms the jokers.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Perhaps the most marked trait of hui
man nature in modern times, and that
which distinguishes it most from human
nature in ancient times, is pity.
It was the main contents of the Chris
tan religion for over a thousand years.
Almost all medieval religion can be
summed up in that one word, pity. The
good works most emphasized consisted in
giving aims to the poor. The walls of the
old churches are covered with languishing
saints. The sufferings of the martyrs
were wrought into works of art in every
conceivable excrueiation. We are the
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

When young man tells girl she
is the only one he ever loved it's up
to her to tell him to go and get repu-
tation.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Quoth a woman novelist: ut takes
a clever woman to keep out OF matri-
mony." But II a mere man would
keep out of wedlock he must be moth
Ing short of genius.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Once upon time there lived man
who really enjoyed his vacation, but
that was in the ancient days before
the summer hotel had been inflicted
on humanity.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

A vacation would be beneficial to a
hard working mortal were 1t not for
the fact that 1t takes two weeks to
recover from 1t.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

''Hobble skirts" says an inyesti-
gator. were worn In early Biblical
days" Evidently one of the reasons
for the destruction of Sodom and Co
morrah
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

The New York walters who several
weeks ago organized strike have ap-
piled to their former employers for
work. They found tipless world a
cheerless one.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Some people are born famous, some
achieve fame, but girl in Newport
won the easy way by wearing an auto
mobile veil floating I've feet in the
breeze.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Some day the art of farming may
be so far advanced that humanity
will be enabled to eat a blackberry.
the substance of which IL less than rs
per cent. seeds.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Cincinnati is proud of its woman
teacher In a vacation school who UNI
pires baseball games so fairly the ire
of the bleachers is never aroused.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Drink buttermilk and live long,"
says Prof. Metchnikoff. But where Is
the Joy of living long II one must drink
buttermilk?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

kissing may be dangerous. as our
physicians say, but a little danger
now and then is relished by the best
of men-and women.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

New Yorker informs US that no
body can be happy on less than $4,000
a year. Verify. there Is vast amount
of unhappiness In this world.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Only the female mosquitoes prey on
human beings. and sometimes we are
led to believe that the females out
number the males by 1000, 900 to 1.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

The shah of Persia's kitchen uten-
sils are valued at s25,Ooo,OO0. and at
that wen bet he can't find a bottle
opener when he wants It.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Some Of the doctors say the adop-
ton OF the kilt would be more hygienic
than trousers. Yes. but would 1t be as
modest?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

| am very much interested, as every good
citizen must be, in promoting the adoption
of uniform laws on the subject of marriage
and divorce throughout the United States
The present situation is very dangerous,
for persons who are legally married accord
ing to the laws of one state may find that
in another state their1narriage is not recog-
nized, and the effect upon the status of
children may be most disastrous.
The consequence is that mistakes in this
matter often fall upon persons who are en-
tirely innocent, and great confusion is likely
to exist in regard to the delicate relation of
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Queer -
angle i'm
Many of
Marriage
Laws ==
BY MOORFlEID STOREY
Boston. Mass.

husband parent child WHILE course
much embarrassed by questions arising
conflict of laws this subject
movement promote organization the
states subjects this uniformity has been
should be glad strong public opinion organized which will
upon uniformity which regulate marriage divorce
and made th direction will
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

A Cleveland man has invented a
steel car strap" that will not carry
germs. While he was at 1t, why didn't
he invent few seats instead?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

A Maryland doctor says that cutting
out the tonsils is serious mistake.
from the doctors point of view. we
presume.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

The anti-kissing crusade may be all
right in its way, but 1t strikes US
that a great deal depends on the age
and pulchritude of the kissee.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
~THQMP$QMs 9 |a.I..l.s ss''. cause: "a
sos s WALTZ sJJE!k LIZ s:
A BAD Break

Slashes-Been in a fight?
Masher-No. / tried to fiirt with
pretty uffragette.-Judge
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

A genius in California has succeed
ed in developing a seedless tomato,
but the odorless onion still is afar of.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23
Mo Dancer.

do you believe we are in any dan
ger of losing our birthright?"
mot a bit-that is, those of us who
are doomed to always work for what
we get are not"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Our notion of true philosopher is
one who can take a calm and unruffled
view OF life while seated In q dentists
chair.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

A beauty doctor says that shaping
the face is good for the complexion.
She may prefer freckles.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

"The whale" says naturalist. will
soon be extinct" But WIZ blubbsr
about It?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Being a philosopher with $1.000.00c
in the bank h our notion OF q soft Job
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-08-23

Sometimes the exception proves the
rule. but II is generally the unexpect-
ed which happens.