The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1912-05-02
Fins, Furs, and Feathers.

In certain portions of the commun-
ity, where a solicitor for California
magazine recently worked the people
for an extension of the publication s
subscription list, the main topic of
| conversation is Petaluma chickens and
the most frequently asked question /.
Reckon when we'll get our chick
ens2' The solicitor, who had a sicker
tongue than Yankee washing ma.
chine salesman, assured the prospec-
tive subscriber that he ould receive
his publication forthwith, together
with half dozen freshly hatched from
the Petaluma Hatcheries. In cases he
told the innocent public that the chick
ems would be two months old.
The magazine came, but no chicks
or chickens appeared. A number of
ultra fasttidious and dignified gentle
men of the city had fallen for th
game of the artist Their friends
heard Of their weakness for chicken
and planned series of Jokes. Each
one who was known to have ordered
the magazine and who supposed he
was ordering chickens, was called to
the telephone and told to come over to
the American express Office and get
his chickens; that one of them was out
In a short time stream of men was
seen threading their way to the ex-
pressman's. II is said that each
thought the other the author Of the
joke and that day few near tragedies
brewed in the village.
The publication for whom the solici
tor was at work has written some of
the purchasers, who have grown urgent
IN their calls for chickens or a return
OF their money, that the chicks will
be sent them soon. The prizes will be
day old fellows. The solicitor is re-
ported to be a fugitive from Justice,
having defrauded the magazine com
pany by raising receipts in addition to
mlsrepresenting the premiums to be
awarded to subscribers.
Has anyone ever seen a Phthisit? 1t
is a species Of imaginary reptile simi-
lar TO certain ones of the Chinese
dragons. The serpent of illusions
seems to have been first discovered
by a camping party here last summer.
AT nightfall one of the men of the
party, who is gifted with more than his
share of imagination, began telling of
the wonderful Phthisit. a lady of the
company, who had always been used
to sleeping on an. 0stermoor in the city
limits asked curiously what Phthisit
was. A Phthisit?" he asked, why
1t is one of the most peculiar things in
the world. | can best describe il by
telling you how two angleworms would
look should you tie them together at
right angles to each other and in the
center of the body, then form a few
more angles by attaching few more
angleworms in a similar manner ex-
cept Phthisit is very much larger.
Oh, I've seen 'em as big as tubs "
The little lady, whose hammock was
swung between two small tif trees,
just smiled and shivered bit.
'Phthlsits enjoy living in fin trees,
continued the soft persuasive voice of
The young man, who could make any
one believe most anything, 'and there
is no more favorte spot for one of
them than that on the topmost bow of
these trees swaying IN the breeZes. "
Wow J. 1t would be impossible to
spell the ending of this shrek. 1t was
the city lady. She had arisen from
the hammock, even as though she had
seen a mouse, and was pointing to a
branch. "PhthisitW she managed to
breathe. All looked up and beheld a
tiny chipmunk wanderngly regarding
the human beings beneath him.
Now is the season of the year when
the steelhead and the salmon are be-
ginning to do gymnastic stunts at the
Devils Punch Bowl. A number of
people from the city have already
made Sunday excursions to this beauti-
ful spot on the West Fork of the Hood
river near Winans station. where the
fish may be seen jumping the falls i'll
the weather is good and the visitors
have time. Frank A. Cram has a
troupe of trained fish that will perform
for Portland Commercial club at the
Punch RowI next Saturday.