The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-11-04
BILL VINES HAVING TROUBLE FEELING PULSE OF NEW NEW YORK YORK Says Gay Gotham Has En- tirely Too Many Peo-
 pie In It
PROUD WHEN OSCAR AND UNCLE HEN SPEAK
States Policemen of City Arc Entire ly Too Gay--People Are Same as Any Others-Qu0tes
 Shylock
By BILL VINES


 New York November s.-(speeial.) )--New York is getting entirely too many people in it. If it keeps on growing it will he come a hard task for the rest of the country to keep it up in the style to which it Is accustomed. Justice Golf, realizing this is working in conjunction with the electric chair in trying to reduce the pop uation. but his efforts so far have made no very noticeable impression There ought to be plank in the bull moose plat- form about it. probably there is If not, 1t was omitted through an oversight, they have every other kind of plank.
 felt rather proud of Alabama here last Thursday night, don't cher know. Probably you don't know. but don't mind that. Don't cher know is d new ex- pression about a million years old. inn ported fresh from dear old London, and very much in vogue right now in the best newspaper circles, some of our fanciest dressed cub reporters use 1t, when they can remember to do so. almost all the time But l wander l said that I was quite proud of Alabama here last Thurs day night. don'tcher know-and I hao every right to be- In the first place, Os- car-our Oscar--was one of the bright star attractions at the Madison Square Garden. and received a great ovation when he rose to speak. New York Is stuck on oscar, and that's all there Is to t, and some fourteen or twenty thousand people just according to whether you are a dem- ocrat or otherwise as to the number rose
 
 with loud whoop. Down at Cooper Union another great Alabama statesman. in the person of Uncle Henry D. Clayton was beating | tattoo on the ding dong of the coposition in great style and amjt applsust ana all that from the flower of Gothann's chivalry, How's that2
 Feeling Peoples Pulse
 In the meantime, I was taking part in the performance. in my poor, meek way snl humble fashion" expression borrowed from a distinguished candidate for Presj- den, of the United States and very effec- tive, by feeling the pulse of the people. l was sent to New York to feel the pulse of the people. and l am trying my best to earn my salary. Sometimes it is
 
 other times it is really enjoyable, don't cherknow For instance, the other night l was feeling the pulse of tall and in- tensely beautiful blonde on the corner of Thirty-eighth street and Broadway that was where we were situated-not her pulse, when rude Irish policeman came along and told me to 'beat it." I did so. l am not at all fsvorably impressed with New York policemen. They do not seem to be awed in the least with the rights of the press" In this case I shall prob- ably never know what the respiration of this young lady was. politically speaking. Now York people. however, are in most respects Just like other people I have met In the language of our old friend Shy lock- in meaning if not in text, They are chilled by the cold of winter and warmed by the summers sun; they eat the same food when hungry: when sick they take the same medicine," etc., aE other folks. They are fed politically on the same dope" probably in a little dif- ferent form than the politicians hand 10 us for consumption in the southern states. They raise up on their hind legs, close both eyes, and howl just like we do. As human beings they haven't got a thing on us. There are great punches of good looking broilers along Broadway, but they have a very striking tendency to run to feet, This may he accounted flor " the fact that they use their feet a great deal padding mp and down the Great White way, so we can have the pleasure of seeing them, which is very thoughtful.
 Reminded of Baltimore
 The two meetings held at Madison Square Garden-one by the progressives and the other by the democrats-re- minded me good deal of the Baltimore convention--in that there seemed to be much depending on the length of time ~----->--~-->-~--~------------- -.
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