Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-08-13

peloi Thousands and millions or
unborn fish are clamoring to this con-
gress today for an opportunity to be
hatched at the Tupelo hatchery.
Now, Mr.. Chairman, I only wish
to say that If there is a member here
who wishes to have his name con-
nected by future generations with
those of Judas Iscariot and Benedict
Arnold-if he wishes to have HIM
self and his posterity pointed out with
scorn-if he desires to be despised by
men and Stunned by women-let him
vote against this amendment and he
will secure all this Infamous notori-
ety!"
John Allen Is now prosperous
planter in southern Mississippi, where
he enjoys the contemplation Of the fish
hatchery won by his humor. His name
remains only as a memory in the halls
where statesmen tread.
Adam Bede, who represented the Sth
Minnesota district in the house, was
one of the most popular stump speak
ers and spellbinders of the present
generation. His speeches were full Of
dry humor and his droll manner Of IL
Illustrating his arguments by stories Of
the day never failed to win the ap-
plause of his audiences.
A short time after he took the oath
of office Bede won front rank among
legislative humorists by a eulogy upon
the Republican party. Securing the
recognition of the chair, he opened
modestly, but soon had the house in an
uproar.
Mr.. Speaker" he said, Il had not in
tended to make any remarks at this
time. First desire to extend a formal
invitation to the Democrats to come
into the Republican party and be a
part of us.
There Is a little railroad down IN
southern Minnesota, few miles long,
with a daily mixed train that always
gets to its destination too late for a
connection.
"A lady who was riding on this train
complained to the conductor that 1t
was going too slow. Finally she as
serted that she could walk faster than
the train was going.
1.-The conductor retorted by asking
her why she didn't get off and walk,
and she said that she would do so, but
her people would not be looking for her
until the train got in.
80 I realize how hard 1t Is for the
Democrats to get out and walk faster
than their party is going, as nobody
will be looking for them. but, never
theless, I extend the invitation in the
kindliest spirit and with no feeling Of
hate"
The late Senator Jonathan P. Dolli-
yer of Iowa, by clever retort and bril-
liant repartee could cold an audience
attentive and spellbound during the re-
cital Of the dryest statistics Of a tariff
discussion. He was one Of the small
bands Of insurgents who fought val
liantly on the floor Of the senate
against the enactment Of the Payne
Aldrich tariff act. The last speech he
delivered in the senate before his death
in 1910, was a scathing arraignment Of
that bill. He spared no terms In his
denunciation Of the measure. And he
evoked peals Of laughter from hos
tile and sullen audience by declaring:
"The past year witnessed two events
of unusual interest-the discovery Of
the North Pole by DR.. Cook and the
revision of the tariff downward by the
senator from Rhode Island. Each in
it's way was a unique hoax"
Senator Chauncey M. Depew proba-
bly, enjoyed the widest reputation as a
wit of any man in congress, yet he pos
sessed not so much wit as a talent for
story telling. He was par excellence a
reconteur, and in the cloak room was
always a centre Of attraction.
In his speeches Senator Depew new
er INDUCED in those exchanges Of re-
partee which characterized the re-
marks of Senator Dolliver, nor in that
sublime sarcasm and ridicule that has
brought fame to Senator Rayner. His
speeches were always punctuated with
stories taken from the stock which has
made him the peer of American after
dinner speakers.
During the last session Of the 61st
congress, as Mr.. Depew's term was
drawing to a close, he delivered a
speech on the popular election Of SEN
ators, which was typical of his public
addresses. In this peech 1t was that
Senator Depew referred to the pro-
gressive wing of the Republican party
as "the recently organized Salvation
Army"
During the last special session Of
congress the southern Democrats In
the senate were consistently voting to
amend the free list. August l, by way
Of retaliation, Senator Lodge Of Mas
sachusetts, offered an amendment put
ting rice on the free list. This was
aimed at the Louisiana Democrats, who
have always insisted upon tariff on
rice and sugar. The amendment was
defeated. Immediately after the de-
feat of the Lodge amendment Senator
jeff Davis rose and offered the follow
ing as an amendment to the free list:
Boston baked beans. black beans.
and all other beans, raw, dried, split or
parched: also Goldfish, skinned or un-
skinned, fresh, salted or served in
balls"
This sally, aimed at his friend from
Boston, as we'll as the whole famous
Goldfish aristocracy" Of Massachusetts,,
was greeted with applause in the gal
leries as we'll as on the floor of the
staid and dignified senate.