The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-06-18
JUST WORDY
NOT SCRAPPY
-
SAYS BLYTHE
Talk Of Battle and Carnage
on the Convention Floor
Just Talk, but a Talkfest
Is Assured.
Continued from Page One.)

Roosevelt, having brought his trusty
ak from Oyster Bay, will appear on the
scene and chop few sections out of
the Hon. William Barnes of New York,
while the other side has put 1t in circu-
lation that the ferocious Murray
Crane will climb aboard the Hon. Will
liam Finn and macerate him in full
view of all those who are on the spot.
Be all this as it may, the fact is that
there isn't coat of mail left in Chi
,cago, and various statesmen and patri-
OTIS have rented fire helmets from the
gallant fire ladies in order to protect
the most useless portions of their ana
'tomies-their heads.
Mr.. Lillian Russell.
The appearance of Col. Roosevelt,
1T has been bruited about, will be the
Isignal for large section Of Mr.. Lii
Ilian Russells iron puddlers from Pitts
burg to advance from the center of the
hall, using iron canes with which they
have been thoughtfully provided in
Igentlemanly attempt to show the Taft
delegates the error of their ways,
while $50 brave policemen, hand pick
ed by Boies Penrose from the Chicago
force, will endeavor to run the pudd
ilers in for interfering in interstate
commerce in negro delegates. This
pickering, however, will be as calm
las summer day compared to thrill
ing scenes that will follow the advent
of Roosevelt Floor Leader Hadley, of
missouri, who will be on the spot exud-
ing parliamentary inquiries from every
pore. Mr. Hadley, it is expected, will
demand that he be given liberty or
enough delegates to win, with strong
preference for the latter, and then will
ensue such scenes of carnage as have
not been witnessed since the sanguin-
airy day when that murderous king of
France marched up the hill and then
marched down again.
1t is bound to be ~horrible-horren-
dous, even. No pen will be able to de-
scribe those frightful scenes, but a
good many typewriters will. so the
STORY will not be entirely lost to the
coming generation. The situation, as
William Barnes said, on Friday after
moon while posing for his picture with
This finger cutely tucked up alongside
his cheek will be APPALLING. The shrieks
flor recognition will mingle with the
raucous cries of Get off my FOOT" But
with that true devotion to duty that
marks the alert chronicler of events it
has been arranged by the newspaper
reporters that when the enraged patri-
OTIS start to tear down the Coliseum in
order that the colonel shall have his
rights they shall begin the work of
n <,c@y OF Vol I,
avenue end of the structure. This will
ENABLE the press stand to remain on
1.-THE job for some time before it be-
comes necessary to plunge into the
fray and die for such affairs and sires
las there may be in stock for dying-for
purposes.
There was a strange unrest. You
could feel it in the air, which, by the
way, was a fine enlivening air, coming
in from over the lake. No man was
able to foretell what an hour might
bring forth. Great deeds were immi-
.nent. That was cinch. But what great
deeds? In answering that question all
those present begged down. All, how
ever, conceded there must be a riot.
Nothing else will do. Picture to your
self Herbert Hadley of Missouri, who
weighs $50 pounds, rioting against Vic
tor Rosewater, who weighs 102. Some
thing inevitably must give way. 1t
may be what will give way will be
Senator Dixon's temper, or the colo
nel's vocabulary, or Harry News
smile, or Charles Warren Fairbanks
,receptivity, but it must be something.
When everybody says this convention
lis to be opened with call for the po-
llice reserves instead of the usual in
vocation what everybody says must be
$50.
Gimmer of Hope.
Still, there is faint glimmer of
iEope. A long experience has taught
me that the advertised riot rarely
comes Off 1t is barely possible that,
despite the dire predictions of trouble
from the start, this will happen: Mr..
lRosewater, as chairman of the Repub-
,lican national committee, will order
the roll to be called, the temporary
roll, as evolved by the committee
There will be protest from the floor
and the Roosevelt floor leader. Gov
Hadley, will offer as substitute a
roll that fits in with the Roosevelt
ideas of what temporary roll for this
convention should be. Then there will
be long parliamentary wrangle. and
unlimited talkfest that may get excit-
ed, but will hardly be deadly. and,
finally the convention will vote one
way or another and the attempt will
he made to induct Mr.. Root into his
keynote position. 1t is barely possible
that the Third commandment will suf-
fer more fractures than heads or
arms, and it may be that the pickering
will be more conversational than criti-
cal.
But the prudent managers of the
convention have provided for every
contingency, save the highly import
ant one of getting earmuffs for the pa
tient delegates who must sit and listen
to the flow of talk. IT, says the Taft
men. the Roosevelters attempt to
strong-arm this convention. they will
find that we have made preparations
to meet that contingency or any other
that may ensue." And following this
comes the stern declaration of the
Roosevelt people that they will have
their rights.
Thus II seems about standoff. The
Tafters are prepared and the Roose-