Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-08-15
(copy right. 1911. by North American Press
S,udicdfeJ

Copy right. 1911. by North American Pres.
Syndicate)
JIM.
We never counted much on Jim around
the village. CUE
There wasn't any get up 70 him. his
relatives all wuz
Jest sort o. sha!ncd to speak about the
way he ioafed around.
We knew him as a lazy lout. who jest
laid on the ground
And dreamed and dreamed the our
a"sy. They couldn't make him
While others drilled ten hours a day
his stunt was jest 70 shirk.
The village folk looked down on him
in sort o. scornful style.
Because he didn't have NJ vim
But Jim would only smile.
And keep on dreaming light along.
preoccupied his air.
He'd listen to the biuejay's song and
stare and stare an stare.
He didn't rningle much. did jim, but
read an awful lot.
The other Joys got up at five and
earned six pIunhs n wee..
But Jim. lie wasn't scarce alive, a sort
OF village freak.
One day he got an envelope from
Washington, by jung
His breast filled with a sudden hope.
because. YOU see. the hin
Contained a letter patent for d rapid
firm gun.
That vas supposed 10 end a war when
II was scarce begun.
He sold his patent right away. and
he's a millionaire.
Our foremost citizen. we say. with civic
pride to spare.
He des around i'm autos now, and
ioafs II lot. does Jim,
But all the town folks do allow. they're
mighty proud OF him.
-
SOME HOUSEHOLD INFELICITIES.
You wrong me, Robert. I never open
anybody's mail. yours especially, X
ccpting By mistake"
Where in blaZes is my batnrobe?
] suppose you have got it wrapped
around that rubber plant out on the
front porch again
Huh. | suppose you think all I've
got to do * to think up something to
eat and bring it home with me. I've
got other things on my mind
Take ii from me. madam, the next
time you burn up the pork chops while
you are gossiping over the telephone
the telephone goes out
oh. thunder, Who has been open
Ing "A can with my razor again."
Why In tunket don't women hook
up the front instead Of the back?'
WHAT'S THEIR LANGUAGE.
There are some persons in demand
Whose language we can't understand
a little English now and then
Should be adopted by these men.
me umpire steps upon his throne,
And In u jargon all his own,
Announces in about this way
The batteries who play today.
ladies' and gents theh lttieries for to-
days game willbeSmith and Jonesfor Hog
waiIow n Brown andGreenfor BirdCen-
ter-PLAYHA-W-L."
The front door Of the railway car
bursts open with a ponderous jar.
The brakeman trills his Joyous lay
In Hottcntot or else Malay.
sor Esperanto tongue. perhaps.
a lingo labeled out in scraps.
A gem that sounds a lot like this.
80 travellers won't go amiss:
al - II - |lpointseast-and w%estenthe
Observation-Disclosures. Twenty
minutes-s-s-ssf rfr' shments."
The barker In the dime m,lsee
a dapper little gent Is he.
he always wears a long frock coat.
lie Is a lecturer of note;
IN voice mysterious he speaks
About the galaxy Of freaks.
His language Is so scrambled that
You can't tell what he's driving at:
thisendoftheha-l-l-i-l-l wherweinave
incxhtbi III Observation-Disclosures
observation-disclosures
neutrality-suspicious.. Thelittlelady-isa
erylntelhgentconversationalist and has
neutrality-suspicious..
FATHERS PART.
Gems OF rare radiance adorn
A matrOnss lOyeliness.
Inc SIN worm from It's nest is torn
inat she may. have a dress.