davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1912-04-26
Precooioua

Small boys have a way of listening
10 remarks that older persons make
and using them when least expected.
A mother was surprised the other day
TO have her young son reply to her
when she was reproving him for some
trifing misconduct: well. mamma.
you must put up with me. You know
I'm just at the trying age"
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1912-04-26

water will prevent wrinkles. Huband
so? Then how do you account for
the numerous wrinkles | have! Wife
How do l account for them? Husband
Yes: you keep me In hot water near
ly all the time. you know.
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1912-04-26

The Sites Signal will skip an is
sue this week while the editor is out
rustling funds with which to keep
the paper going. And still there are
people who think an editors job is
a snap.
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1912-04-26
His Occupation,

Farmer Hornbeak What's your
nephew that graduated from college a
spell ago dom now! Farmer Bentover
Still colorin' a m%eerschaum pipe
Judge.
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1912-04-26
Defined.

French Teacher-Now. Tommy. what
is money In FrenchY Tommy-Argent.
French Teacher-Good. and what gen
der is 1t? Tommy-Feminine; money
talks.-Satire.
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1912-04-26

Nations. like individuals. live or die.
but civilization cannot perish.-Maz-
zini.
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1912-04-26
A Mean Retort.

Wife-According to this paper. hot
The Press., 1912-03-27
HISTORIC FIRES.
The Most FatefuI of All, Perhaps, Was
 the Burning Of Moscow.

The Most FatefuI of All, Perhaps, Was
 the Burning of Moscow.
 A list of great cities burned would be list of nearly all the great capi- tals of the world. Persepolis. the splendid residence of a long series of rulers whose tributary provinces ex- tended from the Indus to the Helles- pont. was burned. with all its pal aces and temples. Babylon and Car thage were so utterly destroyed that their very location has become a mat ter of doubt. Rome was burned eight times, Jerusalem four times. and though they rose from their ashes
 The second temple is not like the first.
 Athens. Syracuse. Bagdad, Alexan- drio and Antioch now exhibit only & shadow of their former grandeur. The Phoenfcians. like the Spartans and As syrians. disappeared with the ruin of their capitals. but the most fateful conflagratiOn recorded in the history of the world is perhaps that of Mos cow
 ''They talk as if the fate of Europe had been decided at Waterloo" says De Bourienne in his memoirs of the first empire. ''If Napoleon had beaten Wellington and Butcher a dozen times 1t could not have retrieved the reverses of the three preceding years. The truth is that the French Caesar and his fortune were ruined by the burn ing of Moscow. That city was the fu- neral pile of the great nation."-Ex- change.
The Press., 1912-03-27
FIGHT SHY OF A RAT.

Let the Rodent Escape Rather Than
 Run the Risk of Bite.
 'INever attack a rat in a closed room," says an old warehouseman who has had a world of experience in deal ing with rodents. "Open a door or window and give it a chance to get away. Even if you've got a dog to help you, you may be bitten if you don't. Rat bites are very dangerous. A rat eats all sorts of carrion and filth and then puts his dirty whiskers into anything else he wants to sample
 Here's another idiosyncrasy of rats. They logically carry out the principle of the survival of the Attest And they are not merely suffragettes or suffragists. but the females abso- lutely boss the rat tribe. The slight est token of physical weakness in the baby rat is the signal for death at the teeth of its mother. About five rats survive from a nest of ten or fifteen. The male rat will fight to save the little ones. but is invariably driven off by the ferocity of the mother. You never saw a rat yet that wasn't per feet specimen. If the mothers did not have this trait the earth would be overrun with rats.
 Rats live and travel in colonies. The head of the group is always an old female rat. When 1 start to clean up a settlement of rats lay for the head female rat. If catch and kill her the others disappear."-New York Times.
The Press., 1912-03-27
MaeterIinck,s First Play

Maurice Maeterlinck began his lit erary career with three apparent fail ures. His first literary endeavor was to found a review. La Pleiade. which soon ceased to appear. His second was the publication of volume 0! poems. ''Serres Chaudes," which fell stiIlborn from the press. Then came his play La Princesse Malene." IL was printed by hand-by the authors own hands in fact-and the edition con sisted of exactly twenty five copies which were given away. For a year it attracted no attention. Then, how ever. one of the twenty-five copies fell into the hands of NJ. Octave Mirbeau. He wrote a resounding article about it in the Figaro. and the author. like Byron. woke up and found himself ia mous Westminster Gag, tte.
The Press., 1912-03-27
How Water Freezes,

It used to puzzle all thinking people why ponds and rivers do not freeze beyond certain depth. This depends on a most curious fact-namely, that water is at it's heaviest when it reach es 40 degrees F.-that is, 8 degrees above freezing point. On a frosty night as each top layer of water falls to 40 degrees it sinks to the bottom. Therefore the whole pond has to drop to 40 degrees before any of it can freeze. At last it is all cooled to this point, and then ice begins to form. But ice is very bad conductor of heat. Therefore it shuts off the freez- ing air from the big body of cOmpara- lively warm water underneath. The thicker it gets the more perfectly does it act as a great coat, and that is why even the Arctic ocean never freezes heyOnd few feet in thickness.
The Press., 1912-03-27
The Collar of Homer.

Among the curiosities preserved fin
 he Fabre museum at Montpelier France. is the famous ''collar of Ho. mer.' invented and worn by the great Italian poet Alfieri. This distinguish ed man began the study of Greek when more than forty seven years old and made such rapid progress in that language as to astonish all who knew him. He proclaimed himself 'cheva- Her of the order of Homer" and ap- peared with collar on which were en- graved the names of twenty ty-three po- cts. ancient and modern. and to which was suspended cameo portrait of Homer. On the reverse side of this preserved relic is an Italian 1istich composed by Alfieri, which translated says. "Alfieri himself in creating this order of the chevalier of Homer has invented an order more divine than that of any king"
The Press., 1912-03-27

firm, lost his life by falling from one of his lumber sheds, and since that time the business has been carried on by Mrs. Squier, to whom the busi- ness reverted, through her only sur viving son, Albert l.. Squier of Gam bridge, who acted as her attorney. For fifty two years she has been di- rectly and indirectly active in the life of the town. Socially she was much respected and loved. Her altruistic life always made for the good will of the community. Her energy was un- bounded From the inception of the Methodist Episcopal church she gave herself to the cultivation of religion in the community toward that faith, and gave one son to the ministry of that denomination. Last November she suffered a paralytic stroke, and since that time has constantly failed in health. She is survived by two children, Rev. Albert l.. Squier of Cambridge and Miss Nellie F. Squier, librarian of the public library of Mon son. There are also six surviving grandchildren: Robert K. Squier, Ruby M. Squier of Monson, Donald G. Squier, Leonard K. Squier, Roger Winthrop Squier of Cambridge, and Ruth Wesley Squier of Ashville, N. 0. The funeral services were held at her late residence Thursday afternoon at ?. 30 o'clock, conducted by Revs. F. w. Mcconnell, George A. Andrews of Monson and E. Stuart Best of Nal den. The interment was at No 1. cemetery.
The Press., 1912-03-27
MONEY BACK.
Here's Some Talk on Square
 Deals Lines.

Fifty cents; that's all, for box ot MONA stomach tablets that will bring a smile to your dyspeptic coun- tenance ten minutes after the first dose.
 And finders Jacobsen says that if MONA doesn't end the misery of indigestion or banish stomach distress of any kind, you can have your money back.
 This guarantee applies to the fol lowing ailments: gas, acidity, heavi- ness, distress after eating, fermenta- tion, heartburn, waterbrash, belching, sourness, pain in stomach, bilious ness, dizziness, nervousness, sleepless- ness, bad dreams, nightsweats, head ache, constipation, despondency, bloat- ing, foul breath, coated tongue, sea or car sickness, morning sickness. Fifty cents box for MONA stomach tablets at Anders Jacobsen and druggists everywhere.
The Press., 1912-03-27
Went as He Ate.

General Winfield Scott was a nota. ble figure in the Washington society of sixty years ago described by Mrs Marion Gouverneur in her volume of "reminiscences, As I Remember" The general was something of an epicure. Mrs. Gouverneur recalls seeing him sit down with great satisfaction to a meal consisting principally of jowl He did the family mark eting person ally and was discriminating in the selection of food. Terrapin, which he insisted upon pronouncing tarrapin, was his favorite dish. and he would order oysters by the barrel from Nor folk. On one occasion he attended a banquet where all the states of the Union were represented by a dish in some way characteristic of each com monwealth. Pennsylvania was repre- scented by a bowl of sauerkraut. and in speaking of the fact the next morn ing the general remarked. "l parto0E of it with tears in my eyes"
The Press., 1912-03-27
PAINTED HIS PORTRAIT.
His Wife Was the Artist. and the R,
 la NAg,A EI.AG~-:.,

His Wife Was the Artist. and the Re.
 suit Wasn't Flattering.
 A suburbanite but lately married went out to post a letter, and as the lamps had not been lit in the road in which he dwelt he could only dimly see his way. A short distance up the road he met. as he thought, his wife, who had been out to tea, and as he went past he just whispered:
 "An right. my dear; shall be with you in a minute"
 Immediately after he had said these words he saw the lady turn startled look upon him and then hurry away. and the horrible idea occurred to him that 1t was not his wife at all and that in the darkness he had made a mis- take. He decided to say nothing about the matter and quickly disappeared.
 When he returned home he found his wife waiting for him, and she at once greeted him with the words:
 'AOh, George, have had such frightfuI experience! I was just com Ing down the road when a man tried to stop me and said, All right, dear; shall be with you in a minute I ran home. found you out, and I've been so much alarmed"
 George was just about to explain when an idea came to him.
 What sort of man was it?" he asked.
 "Oh," replied the young wife. 'I saw him quite plainly, and a more villain ous face I never beheld in my life. He was a perfect monster, with crime stamped upon every feature"
 George decided 1t was best to say nothing after alI-London Tit-Bits.
The Press., 1912-03-27
Giant and Dwarf Horevh.es.

In some of the East Indian islands and on the mainland of Hindustan are to be found the smallest species of hOneybees in the world. These dwarf honey collectors are known to en- tOmologists as Apis forea Their hon eycOmbs are no larger than child'S hand, and the cells are about the size of small pinhead This honey is ex- cellent. as is the wax. The little crea- lures build the comb on the branch of low tree. and as they have not to provide for winter they work all the year through, raising broods like them selves. Tn the same land there is q species of giant bees, Apis dorsata, as large as q field cricket. These mon. Sters of the bee world build honey combs that are from six to seven feet in length. four or more in width and which weigh from 300 to 400 pounds each.-Harpers
The Press., 1912-03-27
nnin;n ae 4hn Hmrsn,.,

In the year Q06n after King Henry's death. in synod, by the dukes au- thority and attended by bishops, ab- bots and barons. it was ordered that a bell should be rung every evening. at the hearing of which prayer should be offered and all the people should get within their houses and shut their doors. This odd mixture of piety and police seems to be the origin of the fa- nous and misrepresented curfew. Whatever was it's object. it was at least not ordained as any special hardship on Williams English subjects.-E. A. Freeman. History of the Norman Conquest"
The Press., 1912-03-27
LE HAAlEIr Gsn1 Passenger Agent,
Trolley Lines
WEEK DAYS.

Lv. Stafford Springs 6.2O a. m. and ev. cry hour until 1920 p. m., arriving al Rockville on the hour. Last car to Hart ford 1920 p. m.
 The Interurban service cars, with 8 change st East Hartford. leave Hartford for Stafford Springs at 6.37 a. m and ev. cry hour until 10.37 p. m.
 Surface trolley cars leave Rockville for Hartford at 6.22 8. m. and every hour at 2 until 1922 p. m., and leave Hartford for Rockville at TOT m. and every hour until 10.07 pm. Connects for Stafford at Rockville.
 SUNDAYS.
 Lv. Stafford Springs 7.20 a. m. and ev- cry hour until 12.2O p. m.
The Press., 1912-03-27
THIRTY YEARS AGO.
March 30. 1ss2.
items of local interest taken from the columns
 of The Press, thirty years ago.

Timothy Shea is building a cottage on Church street, and will also build one on an adjoining lot on Prospect street.
 L. K. Lord is out inspecting the territories, Dakotah, etc. with view to buying one and securing position as United States senator.
 Louis Helm, having sold his barber shop at Willimantic, is now giving his attention wholly to his livery business in this village.
 Mrs. Augusta Taft is licensed to dispense medicines, by the state board of pharmacy, that she may assist in her husbands drug store.
 Fire broke out in tenement house belonging to Charles Fox & Co.,, near ly opposite MT. Fox's residence, early Tuesday morning, and the building was pretty much consumed. The fire began somewhere about the roof, and there was time to get out nearly all the effects of the family occupying it.
 A serious accident befell Messrs. Adolph and Louis Rawitser last Sun day evening. Returning from drive to Staffordville, their horses, new to them, were in too exuberant spirits, and with difficulty kept from running the entire way. They broke into a run when descending East Main street hill, and as they entered Main street the united strength of the two men could not hold them, but they came into collision with the freight depot demolished the carriage, hurled both gentlemen a considerable distance, and sent the horses rolling, or rather ''summersaulting' along the street. Louis escaped with little injury, but his brother, besides a severe scalp wound, was considerably bruised and shook up.
 Born. In Stafford Springs, 18th, daughter to August and Pauline Werner.
 In Stafford Street, 23d, a son to Ed ward w. and Evaline Kingsley.
 Died. In Stafford, 18th, at the residence of her son-in-law, ex-Gov. Hyde, Mrs. Pheba Arms, S9 years, "A days.
 In Orwell, Ohio, 25th, J. c. Dim mick, "A, formerly of Stafford.
The Press., 1912-03-27
NOBODY SPARED.
Kidney Troubles Attack Stafford Springs Men and Women, Old and Young.


 Springs Men and Women, Old anC Young.
 Kidney ills seize young and old.
 Come quickly with little warning Children suffer in their early years Can't control the kidney secretions Girls are languid, nervous, suffer pain.
 Women worry, can't do daily work Men have lame and aching backs. The cure for man, woman or child Is to cure the cause.-the kidneys. Doan's Kidney Pills are for sick kidneys
 Have brought relief to Stafford Springs people.
 Stafford Springs testimony proves it.
 Mrs. William Irons, Furnace avenue, Stafford Springs, Conn.,, says: "I can recommend Doan's Kidney Pills highly, for they have been of great benefit in our home. A member of our family was bothered by his back and kidneys. This trouble continued for 8 long time until we fortunately heard about Doan's Kidney Pills and procured a supply at the Eaton Drug Store. This remedy brought prompt relief and since then there has been no cause for complaint '
 For sale by all dealers. Price 90 cents. Foster -Milburn O., Buffalo, New York, sole agents for the United States.
 Remember the name Doan 's- and take no other.
The Press., 1912-03-27
Oh, How l Hchedl

What long nerve-raoking days Of con- Btant torture-what sleepleHa nights of terrible Ony--itch-~itch-ttoh, com mtant Itch, until it seemed that [ must tear on my very mhin-thens-
 Instant relisf--ny skin cooled, soothed and healed!
 The very first drops of D.D.D. Pre- scription for Eczema stopped that awful Itch instantly: yes, the very moment D.D.D. touched the burning skin the tor ture ceased. A 25c bottle proves it.
 D.D.D. has been known for years as the only absolutely reliable eczema remedy, for it washes away the disease germs and leaves the skin as clear and healthy as that Of a child.
 All other druggists have D.D.D. Pre- Ecription-go to them it you can't como to us-but don't accept some big profit substitute.
 But if you come to our store, we are so certain of what D.DD. will do for you that we offer you a full size bottle on this guarantee:-1f you do not find that it takes away the Itch AT ONCE, it costs you not a cent
The Press., 1912-03-27
A AL.kS
cemetery.

P. A. Gaudett is doing some inside repairs to his hotel.
 O. P. Royce has purchased of Mrs. Julia Parker her house on Main street.
 Jess Hulett reports a catch of 13 white rabbits the past season, some of them weighing nearly four pounds.
 A. A. Hubbard, who has been doing some repairs on his newly purchased house, has it nearly completed. Ar thur Walbridge has been doing the work
The Press., 1912-03-27
The Iron Glove,

A refinement of cruelty is the torture of the ''iron glove" as 1t is called. which used to be common in Morocco. A lump of quicklime is placed in a mans hand. which is closed up into n list. Then the fist is tightly bound with leather thongs and plunged into 2 tub of cold water. The agony soon becomes extreme. The torture is con tinued for eight or ten days, until in the end modification ensues and prob ably death.
The Press., 1912-03-27
EATON DRUG co.
INSURANCE MEN

Splendid opportunity offered to handle our health, accident and natural death benefit policy, costs $l per month. This is form of insurance that appeals to the masses and is easily sold liberal com missions with collecting interest, given right men. Apply Security, Box 3455, Boston, Mass.
The Press., 1912-03-27
While He Waited In the ParIor.

MT. Sooper (to her kid brotherI-May hope to see your sister pretty soon Kid Rrother-You'll see her pretty. all right. She's been fixin' up to beat the band Exchange.
 The Water In the Oceans.
 One per cent of the water of the ocean would cover all the land areas Of the globe to depth of 29O feet
The Press., 1912-03-27
Crazy In Moderation.

Wife-If were to die. Phil. what would you do? Phil-I'd be almost crazy Wife Would you marry again Phil-No: wouldn't he that crazy.
 A Remedy For the Defect.
 Editor Your story as it stands is too bald. Author-Then l will introduce aome hair raising incidents.
The Press., 1912-03-27
Deatness Cannot be Cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach the diseased portion Of the ear. There is only one way to cure deafness, and that is by constitu- tional remedies. Deafness is caused by an tn- Eustachian Tube. When this tube is inflamed you have a rumbling sound or imperfect hear ing, and when tt ie entirely closed. Deafness is the result, and unless the inflammation can be taken out and this tube restored to It's normal condition, hearing will be destroyed forever nine cases out or ten are caused by CatarTh, which is nothing but an inflan Cd condition of the mucous surfaces.
 We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case of Deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for circu- lars free. F.J. CHENEY & co Toledo, O.
 Sold by Druggists, 75c
 Take Hairs Family Pills for constipation.
The Press., 1912-03-27

Stops earache in two minutes tooth utes hoarseness, one hour; muscleache, two hours; sore throat twelve hours Dr. Thomas Eclectic Oil, monarch over pain.
The Press., 1912-03-27

Most disflguring skin eruptions, scrofu. la, pimples, rashes, etc., aIe due to inn pure blood. Burdock Blood Bitters is a clear sing blood tonic. Makes you clear eyed, clear brained, clear skinned.
The Press., 1912-03-27
The Trouble With Allie

"Alice has very poor figure. She has no waist. and so she doesn't yearn for clothes"
 "I see. It's a case of waist not. want not."-Smart Set Magazine.
The Press., 1912-03-27

There ca nnot be any goodness unless 1t is practical goodness Meredith
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1912-10-01
EVEN BREAK AT
SEASONS FINISH
MOTisiOWn A. A. Beats Madison
Loses 10 CALDWELL.


In the last games of the season at
Speedwell field Saturday afternoon
the Morristown A. A. defeated the
Madison A. G. five to nothing but in
turn was beaten in the second game
by the Caldwell +. c. three to one
Dickson started for Madison and the
locals found his offerings easy, get
ting in some good healthy wallOps.
He was replaced by Bill Totten, for
merly OF the Orange b. b. G., who
kept the locals from scoring further.
Swenson pitched for Morristown and
worked nicely. Ahles was late iii get
ting TO the grounds and Collins went
behind the bat with Cullinan at first.
During the latter part of the game
Cullinan was struck in the nose by
a Madison base runner and retired in
favor of Crowell
Inability to hit Monroe cost the
locals the second contest The Cald-
well had lot ON the ball and held
the local sluggers to five hits. Tommy
Ryan, the southpaw. started for Nor
ristown but after he had been ham
mered TO all quarters of the lot in
the fifth inning Crowell welit TO the
rescue and Collins went to first base.
Crowell held the visitors from further
scoring.
The game in figures: First game
A. ID