Belington progressive. [volume] (Belington, W. Va.) 1912-1927, 1912-07-25
AN OPEN
QUESTION
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1911, by Associated Lit
erary Press.

pearance In the town of Goshen one
day and set up It's tents. Among the
farmers who drove in to see things was
Jabeg stebbins, but he didn't think it
a Bit wicked to view the elephants and
caInels as they psraded up and down
the streets
People Noticed that he seemed to be
feeing extra good az he drove In. but
half an hour iater De astonished every.
body He uttered d preliminary whoop
or two and then eot down from his
wagon to tackle one Of the elephants.
OF course the circus men tnterfered,
and then he cut loose and licked three
OF theih before he could be quoted
Ee @as hauled up before squar' War
mel for disturbing the peace. and the
sqGar VINO had known him for thirty
years. said
'.Jabez, | can't make 1t out You are
one of the peaoefulest men around
here, and nobody ever saw you drunk,
but you must have taken a swig or two
to make you act Us you did I'm going
to let you go. but my advice to you is
to beware of the lowing bowl In the
future"
"SQuar, 1t was hard cider nothing
but hard CIDER explained Jabez Il
took drink OF hard cider two years
old, and it made me lose my head
AS Iabez was church member, the
brethren had to take up his lapse from
grace. and nothing else was talked of
for two weeks. Thsn. ut the instance
of Deacon Baker. who had been drink
ing hard cider for twenty eight years
and never studied his toe over II,
committee of six was appointed to in
vestigate and report They drove out
to Stebbins place, and he drew a pail
OF cider and took them out to the barn.
The deacon led or with about d pint
and smacked his lips and passed the
cup There was wait of fifteen
minutes to watch results. They didn't
pan out much. Deacon Black got
little playful and threw Goodwill Jones
on his back, aud Saul Johnson turn
ed the handle Of an old tanning mill
SO fast as TO shake the whole thing
down but these things were not re-
corded
The pail was emp1ied and Jabez re-
filed It He wasn't in on TIE drinks,
but his face were a broad grin after
that second drink had been taken.
Symptoms soon developed Deacon
Hope. who had been carrying a bland
countenance. suddenly sobered up and
turned to Deacon Thomas and said:
Deacon. durn your hide but l be-
lieye you'd hide stones In load Of
hay"
what's that2 shouted Deacon
Thomas. Say. you old hog stealer.
don't you 60 talking about me or I'll
knock your head OFF,
Peace was made between the two
men. but a moment later Goodwill
Jones brought Benjamin Schermerhorn
a mighty slap between the shoulders
and cried out:
How is it. old man-do you lick
your wife as often as you used to?"
Il never licked herr
you are a liar!'
"Lemme get at himp'
There were two or three other out
breaks, but by and BY the dove OF
peace came, and all cried Oh one an
others shoulders Then Deacon Black
stepped up to the cider pail for the
thiqd time and huskily said:
Ladies' and gem'len. we have met
to test this hard cider question, and
BY gum, we are going to do it! say
it won't intoxicate, and the man who
says it Will is liarv'
Knock his head OIL" shouted Saul
johnson.
I'm knock yours of insteadr' whoop7
ed Goodwill Jones'.
Deacon Black stopped the row by
drinking another pint, and while the
cup was going around Jabez Stubbins
ran into the house and said to his
wife:
Hammer. you come out to the barn
IL about ten minutes and you'll see
more fun than boss can draw"
He made no mistake Ten minutes
after the third pint was down Deacon
Black proposed country dance. and
all began to shuttle and cavort and
sing
The horseplay lasted about a quar-
ter Of an hour. Then they fell upon
one another's necks and cried Then
Deacon Hope charged Deacon Black
with putting only cent In the contri-
button box the Sunday previous. and
the latter called Deacon Hope hu-
man hog Then the fight began 1t
went all over the barn and out into
the yard and over the fence, and when
il ended six men lay where they had
fallen and slept and snored.
Jsbez had to drive to town to get
help to load them into his wagon, and
one by one they were delivered to
their homes OF course there was
more talk and it was week before
the committee reported The substance
of the report was:
Owing to the fact that a cyclone
came along and destroyed the barn be-
fore we had finished our test we can't