The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-01-05
A FAMOUS
LAWSUIT
By NJ. QUAD
b. N. QUAD
Copyright. lSll. by Associated LII.
eraFy Press.

England hills. was Z town OF peace.
1t had been founded Just forty years
| when its 6rst real sensation came.
One day Deacon Goodhue borrowed
Deacon Hardman's garden hoe. and
after using It . few minutes b. broke
Il OF at the shank. While be con.
tended that 1t was old and rusty and
ready to break. be offered to buy q
new one to replace 1t. Much to his
surprise. be was allowed to do 90, and
he went home to say to his wife:
Martha. I've known Deacon Hard
man for thirty years and have Just
found him out He's a human hog.
and II be ever goes to heaven ! want
to 60 somewhere else"
For two weeks after that the two
deacons nodded coldly to each other
whenever they met. and it gradually
became known to Bidwell that their
relations were strained. Then one
morning Deacon Goodhue set out to
drive five hogs over to the weighing
scales. He had to pass the other
deacon's house. and as be came along
the gate was open. and all the hogs
made rush for 1t. lie was trying to
drive them out of Deacon Hardman's
yard when the latter came out and
said:
by gum. Deacon Goodhue. but this
10 g0in' too fur-t0O fur! You oDened
that gate and driv' your hogs In on
me a.purpose!'
II never did. and you know
didn't" retorted Deacon Goodhue as
be paused In bis running.
"Yes. you did,"
mo, | didntr'
do you call ME a liar?"
"Yes. IL you call me one"
"Take 1t hack or III mop the ground
with you"
Come out here and I'll make you
sec stars
Then and there the deacons clinched
md rolled on the ground together. and
they were choking each other and
breathing hard when Moses Schemcr
horn came along and separated them.
Deacon Hartman went straight to Jus.
tice Somerfeld and swore out war
rant for assault and battery.
both men had their friends, and the
public was divided. The only person
who had Witnessed the fracas was
Deacon llar'lmans wife. but there
were other witnesses sworn.
Old Mrs. Taylor swOre that she had
always suspected Deacon GoOdhue TO
he man VI violent temper and that
he only needed to he kicked to become
n murderer. Moses Hunt was mile
away that morning looking for his
COW. but he sworc that Deacon Hard
man was the sort of man to lose his
temper and do awful things II he
found strange hog roofing up his
hollyhOcks. Abncr CrOssman, who
had known both parties for thirteen
years. swore that he had known Dea-
con GOOdhue to fall of haystack.
get mircd In n swamp and fight bum.
blebees for half an hour without losing
the smile on his face. and he could
not believe that he had begun this
fuss. Opposed to him was Truehcart
johnson, who said he had seen Deacon
Hardman kicked head over heels by .
COW. run over by hog and knocked
down by a ram and that he preserved
n humble spirit throughout and even
asked the COW to forgive him IL he
had hurt her feelings.
Mrs. llardman's testimony was that
she was washing the dishes after
breakfast when she heard her husband
give n grunt and rush from the hons,
She followed him to the door ard
heard and saw all that subsequently
passed. though In such nervous state
that she cOuld not be sure Of any
thing. She felt almost sure that
Deacon Gooihue said "by gum" and
"devir and "old crank" but she
wouldn't BE- positive Of il She was
almost as sure that her husband
started to sing a hymn and made some
Scriptural quotation. but she might
have been mistaken. She was not sure
who grabbed the other first. but shs
could swear on the living Bible that
they had trOdden all the cucumbers
into the earth aud broken down most
Of her tiger lilies
It took two days to try the case. and
meanwhile all business was suspend
ed. including the sawmill. There was
no jury. and when almost everybody
in town had sworn on one side or the
other Justice Somertield put on his
most dignified look and said
This case seems to go back to the
hoe and to Deacon Goodhues garden.
Was there any need of the deacon
working In bis garden that dayi
What had become Of his own hoci
Was the borrowed hoe rusty in the
shank or was il not?
Then there were the hogs. Any
man who had ever set out to drive
one hog along the road. to say moth
ing about five. knew that the animal
wouldn't 60 straight for rod at a
time. He wouldn't he hog TO pass
an open gate without making rush
for the opening. As 10 whether the