The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1912-07-04
OLD HICKORY CHIPS.
A de1eral Mixture Designed For The
Busy Readers.

etlftt lIicll Pal " was uCdU until LneV
received an invitation to the funeral
in November of that year. History
IS about to repeat itself.
When Tom Platt made Roosevelt
Vice-President he certainly had NO
conception of what he was starting
Good baseball players, like good
politicians, now look forward to a
residence in Washington as a re-
ward.
Prospects for the cause of wo-
mems suffrage are being rapidly i'm
proved through an instictive recog-
milton Of the fact that it is easy to
get a man to make promises when
he is cornered.
Seven little governors, where have
they gone? Seven dark horses came
and they all got on!
The Spanish aviator who was
wrecked by a flock Of locusts should
congratulate himself that he wasn't
flying in New Jersey skeeter belt.
| A New York health culture faddist
says that to remain beautiful women
should talk to themselves. But
those who remain beautiful don't
, have to.
AS Mrs. Malaprop would say, it 5
the proverbial case of the irresponsi-
BILE force and the immovable body
at Chicago.
And in the meantime the person
ally conducted Ananias Club mem
ship has reached high tide and the
private census Of undesirable citi-
zens has grown beyond recognition.
There's g difference between
business administration and COM
mercializing a National convention.
First, the Republican party divid-
ed into progressive and conservative
factions. Then the progressives
sub-divided into LaFollette and
Roosevelt men. Now the Roose-
velters have divided into boilers and
non-bolters. By and by the boilers
will divide into a colonel and another
fellow, after which the colonel VIII
go off and disintegrate himself by
working off his crouch.
early to be bed and early to
rise" makes long day for swat
ting the flies.
Although he had committed his
crime a year before, hold-up man
was recognized by his victim and ar
rested The moral is that a man
with that kind Of face has no busi-
ness to go into the hold-up business.
Here is a divorced couple quarrel
ing about the ownership Of the pet
bull. dog. This is at least better
than having the feeling of tender
children wounded by court proceed
ing and the ruined home.
Bacillus glycobecter is the name
Of the newest advance agent of
longevity, which has had many
names, since men began to daily
with retorts, test tubes and germs.
A man who undertakes to support
Colonel Roosevelt must be agile in
keeping on the dark side Of the spot
light machine.
We begin to think that Harry
Thaw doesn't like Mrs. Matteawan' s
cooking.
The trust that really could dis
solve is the sugar trust, and it has
too much sand.
A former Seattle livery stable man
has just sold a flock of Alaska mines
to the Guggenheims for S2,000,0OO.
He can now follow the horses again.
Thoughtless admirers always try
to compel a man who is having a
fight of his life to waste an immense
amount of precious time shaking
hands.
A Senate doorkeeper says that the
colonel was stung in Africa by a
crazy "moonfy." Well, at least he
wasn't bitten by sleeping sickness
bug.
A New York crook, we read, kept
stiff upper lip when sentenced to
sing sing the other day for the elev-
enth time. He has the courage OF
his convictions.
Doctor Cook has returned to start
a lecture tour. He has splendid
opportunity to get even with the
colonel by swiping his press agent.
Lii Russell has missed a lot of
mighty good advertising by not ac-
companying her new husband on his
honeymoon trip.
In baseball as in politics winning
n;4cher Goes to the we'll once too
often.
Mr.. Taft may be down on college
wells, but where would he be with
out the rooters?
Meanwhile the grand old party