The Washington herald., 1912-04-07
By Louise Taylor Davis

meas-Miss Jones is always there, and the con-
versaton turns entirely discussions of things like
crepe de messaline and appiqued polka dots and
exactly the correct terms but you get my meaning,
don't your l tell you, Pm glad when the two
weeks are up and Miss Jones packs up. her pin
cushions and things and hits the highway"
But that doesn't end the dressmakng troubles
My wife, who has been sewing hard and standing
up Tor fittings, and running up and down stairs
time Miss Jones leaves. She says she's wreck and
will have to rest but does she do itl Mol She
starts in, twenty-four hours after Miss J. leaves, to
rip out and reht and generally tear to pieces the
work she's paid the dressmaker to do. She says the
clothes don't ht, and they aren't becoming and she
wishes she was dead, and she'll never have Miss
Jones again as long as she lives! But she does
She has her every spring
Man paused for breath. "Women's clothes look com
pcated, but didn't think they could cause all that
confusion"
Just you wait and see" said the Family Man.
resuming his narrative The next spring trouble
the calendar is house cleaning Believe me- it's
no no Joke The women say il has to be and to them
see the sense of 1t myself. The house looks
any cleaner afterwards than it did before. The
back where you can't find it, and half your posses
sions are broken. It's always cold the week house
cleaning is done, and the windows and doors are
open SO much that the house has chilly vault-like
atmosphere when get home at night. During the
first few days there's all-pervasive odor of soap
suds and wet wood-worl-after that it's furniture
polish and moth balls The house is in confusion
from attic to cellar We're just as apt to eat our
meals in the paror or the kitchen as in the dining
room. We sleep in depressing, dismanted bed
rooms, and lead sketchy existence generally
Finally there comes morning when my wife says:
When you get home tonight everything will be
doneP come home, worn out with the weeks dis
comforts, anticipating quiet restfu evening in
clean; orderly home, and what do 6nd1 What do
l hndP he repeated.
Dunno" said the Bachelor what do you fnd?"
Bare hoorsP exclaimed the Family Man, with
mating and carpets in the front hall! Then my
wife tells me that the man she had engaged to come
and put them down hasn't shown up and perhaps
wouldn't mind putting down few after dinner and
Good Lord!" said the Bachelor, in sympathetic
dismay "Do you do it?"
"Of course | do it," answered the Family Man.
81 sit up half the night and pound my fingers to
polish into everything she can lay her hands
After everything really is DONE and the house is
once more in its normal condition, begin to realize
that most OF my personal belongings have mysteri-
ously disappeared Most of them to light later
tucked away in strange places, but some of them
are never found until house cleaning times comes
around around again. Last year ! lett strict & orders that
until it looked like new That was all right il they
had stopped there but they didn't. They threw into
waste-paper basket, and carried out to bonfire
a package of very important letters. Then my wife
thought it was was so strange that was angry
and she cool to me for three days
Pretty tough luck" said the Bachelor, "to lose
something important like that"
you bet it is" agreed the Family Man. Say"
he went on, refectively zone of the most mystcri-
things about that house cleaning business is
that nothing you'd really like to get rid of
green glass with big punches of purple grapes
stuck on all over it, that given to my wife
wedding present by an old great aunt second
cousin somebody like that It's terrible look
OiVRS me he m 4