The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-12-02
HOWsAMPROPOsED
Ended in Force Of Arms, CompuI.
sion, Extortion, All That,
and Then Some.
BY JOHN PHILIP ORTIZ.

the village Of Dover. Being . bach
elor it was perfectly logical that b,
should keep bachelors hall. He haa
made his own bed and cooked his owl
meals for ten years when things hap
pened.
In preparing his own dinner ON,
day the bachelor burned the meat, for
got to put the coffee In the pot Will
the water. and fried the potatoes un
til the odor could be scented acros,
the street. Then he broke . platter
kicked the cat and went out on the
back steps and said to himself:
Dog gore 1t. but I'm . fool"
Mrs. Brown. wife Of his nearest
neighbor. was on her back steps and
saw and heard him and answered:
"Of course you are!'
Il ought to have a wife"
Everybody knows that"
Y won't stand It another month"
"bont!"
But where In Jericho am going to
get one!"
That's it-where!"
She passed into her house and was
gone ten minutes. while the bachelor
sat and stared at the beet-tops in his
garden and wondered how q Teller
managed to kick himself when he
felt he needed kicking. Then she re-
appeared to say:
"Oh. Sam. come to the fence"
A breast-high fence divided the
lots. and the two we're soon leaning
over It.
"Well?" queried the carpenter in .
sulky voice.
You are single man."
Don't l know that?"
You want a wife,"
Il do I'm gosh-hanged tired Of this
homework"
Say. Sam, can get you a wife in
. day."
II don't believe 1t. Who il she!"
THE widow Martin"
"Why-why." stammered the bache. |
lor as he tried to turn pale. she
wouldn't have the likes Of me-"
You cant tell that till you ask her. |
l happen to think she'd Jump at the
chance. We were talking the other
day, and she said-said-!"
Said what?"
I'm not going to do your counting |
for you." laughed the woman a she
turned away from the fence. Ill.
were . man named Sam Andrews I
know where Id be about 8 o'clock
this evening""
"Oh Lord. where"
Right over at the widows house..
asking her to set the wedding day.
That would be me, but of course you
haven't got much grit. Light your
pipe and think 1t over"
The carpenter didn't 60 back to his
saw and hammer that afternoon. He
sat for hours with his feet cooked NJ
and pipe In mouth and went over the
case. He had known the widow Mar.
tin for years. and had a good opinion
Of her. He wasn't In love, but he had
read and heard that that sentiment
would come along . few days after
marriage. Should there be calls and
a courtship. or should he transact
business on the plan Of matrimonial
answers given while you waitr' At
sundown he had decided on the latter
course 1t was to be or not to be.
There were three interested parties
here.
Mrs. Martin. the widow. party Of
the first part.
Mrs. Brown. party Of the second
part.
Sam Andrews. party Of the third ,
part
1t might seem more than neighbor. I
~ for the party Of the second part to
oner her assistance In the emergency
recorded. The widow was q harmless
sort OF nirt, as all widows have =
right to be. Mrs. Brown was a mar
rted woman. but she liked to nirt = q
little Notwithstanding. But for her I
husbands jealous disposition sha q
might have had more opportunities
10 be restrained while the other wa.
free CALLED and ranked. She hsd '
hoped for years that the widow would '
get married and to a mighty jealous L
man at that. and thus leave her a I
clear field, but no such event had han.
pened. There were nineteen chances Y
out OF twenty that the party Of Tho u
third part would get turned down a
with a prompt mo. sir" but the Ar. Y
Istlous woman wasn't missing anv. h
thing that came her way. Under ~ h
Or conditions she would have to,d b
sam Andrews that he was bov.hacS D
ID and bowlessed and to 70 and H..
out to side show, "s
At o'clock that evening tho r,,s
w Martin was considerably surprised -
% open the door in response 70 y
mock and md the old bachelo- :. y y
ne steps. He was dressed in hi. sn" =.
lay suit. His hair was oiled ana ~. =
'oots creased. He looked pale 80 !"
10 made earnest efforts to swsllov :,
10 Adams apple. but he nnallv ~. ~
'eated. The widow wondered vSss -
brand had brought him. and =. - !. -
naa~oA aoA - -. sA0 | u