davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12
Hopeless Case.

DE trouble wild me and muh wife,
admitted old Brother Campers. lam
dat whilst we gree most O. de time,
we don't gree at de same time. l kin
gree bout anything. and she kin gree
bout anything. but we KANT gree
wild each udder bout it. When I'm
willing to gree wild her she won't
gree wild me. and when she Is ready
to gree wild me I've changed muh
mind and KANT gree wild her. We kin
b>fe gree separate, but we KANT
gree togedder on de same thing at
de same time, and de mo- We tries de
Wuss we git."-Puck.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12
Uncle Sans Representative.

Senator John Sharp Williams tells
of a negro lad In a southern town who
was not the least jealous OF Uncle
Sans servants. One day when the
mail bag for that town was thrown
from the train the pouch was caught
up by this diminutive courier, who
started off, as was his wont, on a
brisk trot to the p%ostoflce.
AS he was rounding a corner Of the
station he encountered a larger boy,
with the result that the little courier
Was upset. When the latter got up
End readJused himself he turned upon
the other exclaiming:
Look heah! Yo' wants to be keer-
ful bout dis chile. When yo' jars me
yo' jars de gov'ment Of de United
States. carries de MALL"
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12

SO the inner ends will pass when
tilted. Hang these doors on pivots
where they cross side Of box. and
have outer ends a little heavier than
inner end so when the rabbit is off the
board will swing back to its horizontal
position again.
Sides must be nailed to edges of
door inside the box so rabbit will have
to pass off at the ends, the inner end
being entirely open SO when rabbit
comes along and sees bait (Which is
hung under center of door in top OF
box) 1t also sees straight through box
and thinking it a pass through and
eat Of bait, it tips the trap and falls
into box.
l have known as high as Is to be
caught at one time. Use an apple or
corn for bait and set trap somewhere
In a rabbit trail, and It is best to
place the box about six weeks before
using 1t so things will look familiar.
Use stick fastened to underside Of
door in top Of box to fasten bait to.
We have splendid results from the use
of this trap.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12

between bud and stock had been ef-
fected, and the stump of the original
tree was almost completely roi,ed
away.
Investigation by experts, however,
show that the bearing tree unGoubted-
ly represented the original variety as
had a previous young tree, the stump
Cf which Is illustrated.
The former young tree evidently
had never borne, and it had been the
victim Of a dull TX. The owner of the
fruit believed 1t was a seeding. 1t
was almost as truly an apple form
or oblate as the Japanese Golden rus
set pear. The smaller fruits had more
Of the pear shape.
Prof. G.. B. Reeckett Of the govern
ment bureau of plant industry finally
pronounced the variety a fine type of
the Sheldon pear.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12
HORTICULTURAL
&G~@ NOTES

Leaves are fine for lining the stor-
age pits.
Prepare land for a small fruit planta-
ton next spring.
Do not neglect to provide ample ven
tilation for the cellar.
Apples keep best in a cold cellar;
just above freezing point.
Trees injured by freezing very often
need to be severely cut back.
A peach tree will stand a heavier
heading back than an apple tree.
Do not allow stock to III in the
orchard during the winter months.
Remember that your orchard, espe-
cially the young trees, need good cult
walton.
Walnut trees thrive under almost
any condition and do well In many
states.
Keep all rubbish from about your
fruit plants so that mice cannot har-
Dor there.
Move all of the trash standing in
the orchard and burn it to destroy
weed seeds.
Trees 10 90 tNelT UeSL snOuIQ De
planted in blocks or groves rather
than in single rows.
Ascertain the varieties of fruits and
vegetables wanted In the markets de-
sired to be patronized.
II there are any limbs dead or out
of share On the young trees now Is a
good time 70 look after them.
Grow trees for post timber, lumber,
nuts, fruits, as we'll as evergreens and
ornamentals for the home grounds.
Bend all young and tender fruit
bushes and vines carefully to the
ground, place a layer of straw On them
and cover lightly with dirt.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12
Cornered.

Lord Guilford tells a story OF a
young lady's at a bazaar.
Business was In full swing when a
young man strolled around the vari-
gus stalls, with nc intention of pur-
chasing anything. AS he passed a
large, beautifully decorated stall the
young lady sellers detained him
Won't you buy a cigarette holder,
SIR" she asked. mo. thank you, |
don't smoke" was the curt reply. "Or
. pen wiper worked with my own
hands?" II don't write" Then do
have this nice box Of chocolates" Il
don't eat sweets" The young lady's
patience was exhausted. Sir" she
said grimly. will you buy this box
of soap?"
The young a paid up.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12
Protect AGAINST Rabbits and Mice.

These animals may be kept from In
Turing the trunks Of trees by boxing.
or by placing a piece of galvanized
wire screen around the tree trunk and
covering it to a height of about 20
inches. This will also prevent sun
scald, and it costs much less than to
replace the trees after the rabbits
have injured them. The snow should
be well tramped about young apple
trees to prevent mice from injuring
the bark under the snow crust.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12
New to It.

They walked up to the desk Of the
Getty House in %Yonkers, both in sus
~piciously new clothes. He took a pen
from the hand Of Clerk Mailing with a
careless, Indifferent air and signed
with a flourish. 1t was just his name.
Mailing looked at him in surprise and
waited. Finally he said:
Aren't O going to register her
too?"
and with another flourish he added,
and wife"
The bride looked at him reproach
fully. murmuring. What did you
suppose ! hit you in the ribs for?"
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12
RABBIT TRAP HAS OPEN END
Scheme Devised to Capture Pestifer-
ous Little Animals in Groups Of
Two or More.

In response to a query as to how to
make a rabbit trap that catches more
than one animal without being reset
a writer in the Kansas City Star gives
the following instructions:
Make the box 4x4x4 feet and bury
It in the ground SO the bottom OF the
%trapdoors which extend out on either
side will come level with the surface
Of the ground. Make these trapdoors
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12
SAVED At THE CRISIS.
Cured After Doctor. Gave Up Hope

II. R. Hatch, 2576 Cedar Street, Everett.
Washington, says: II doubt if anyone evs6
suffered more than l did from kidney troUr
BILE. l endured the greatest agony anyone
can imagine. My back SO bad / could hard
ly walk. The least jar was or sudden nil
step caused sharp twinges through my
loins that fairly made me groan. I dreaded
to stoop for l knew what l had to suffer
when l Strengthened. At times the kidney
secretions passed much too freely. while
again there was a marked retention. The
secretions were almost like blood, offensive
in odor and terribly painful in passage. T
treated with several physicians and con
suited two specialists in Seattle and one h
Tacoma. They all told me l had Bright's
disease and could expect to live only .
short time. Finally l began using Doan's
Kidney Pills on a friends advice, and t.
my surprise, l received prompt relief. I
continued and was completely cured
Though rs years of age, l am as suppls
and active as any man in the country"
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12

EHX&
PROBLEM FOR OHIO EXPERTS
Pears Grown on Tree Which Came Up
al sprout From Stump Long Dead
Proves Big Puzzle.

In Ohio there are exhibited at the
state fair some pears which were
said to have grown on a tree which
came up as a sprout from the stump
Of an old tree long dead and gone.
The vigorous, upright tree which bore
the fruit, was five or six inches in
diameter, and about 16 feet high.
1t was difficult to determine wheth-
er 1t sprang from above or below
the point at which the original union
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12
Was Testing the Baby.

Little Phil Warmer. of Addison
road, was detected in the act of pull
ing out the baby's hair despite her
frantic protest.
II just wanted to see," he said in
explanation. whether she was cold
forage baby. Teacher told US that's
he way you can tell a chicken. If the
'eatters come out easily the chicken
as been in cold storage"
Needless to say. Phil is doing pen.
nce.-New York Times.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12
When Your EYES Need Care

Try Murine Eye Remedy. No S~martinR-Fee,s
F!ne-Acts Quickly. Try 1t for Red, Weak
Watery Eyes and Granulated Eyelids. Illus
trated Book in each Package. Murine IL
@ mpounded by our OculIsts-not q Patent Med.
iclne"- but used in successful Physicians P-ac.
tice for many years. Now dedicated TO the Pub
Nc and sold by Druggists at 2Sc and SOC per Bottle
Murine Eye Saive in Aseptic Tubes, Csc and SOC
Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12
PRUNING AppIa Trees.

Apple trees in properly pruned make
good nesting places for w~oodpeckers.
The birds dig out the decayed wood
where stubs of branches have rotted
In to the heart and there start house
keeping.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12
FIRE POTS FOR AN ORCHARD
Ignited by observation-disclosures
Frost Damage.

In many fruit belts, especially In
the west. fire pots are utilized as a
means Of preventing frost from de-
stroying the fruit crops. In the illus.
tration is shown an electrically ignit.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12
Speaking AiriIv.

First Aviator-How far Is It to the
next gasoline reservoir?
Second Aviator-Two ~graveyards
and a spiral glide to your left, old
man.-Life.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12

backache, rheumatic pain, nervousness. dis
%ziness, bloating and other results of kidney
disease.
The following case is typical of the cure
effected by Doan's Kidney Pills. Grats61
testimony il the best evidence. =.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12

Nothing pleases some people more
than the opportunity to spread bad
news about their neighbors.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12

ONLY ONE "RROMO QUININE."
That is LAXATIVE @ QUlNINE e. Look for
the signature of h. w. GROVE. Used the Word
over to Cure Q Cold in One Day. 25c.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12

\ few WSeys CT matrimonial train
Z viii enahle a man TO predict brain.
ms in advance.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12

When truth gets busy, fiction Is apt
to feel ashamed of itself.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12

Mrs. Wilson Robinson, 7O4 Nessle St.,
Toledo, Ohio, writes:
II feel like a new person. ! have no
more heavy feelings, no more pain, don't
oelch up gas, can eat most anything
without it hurting me. l want to be
working. all the time. l nave gained
twenty-four pounds.
two months ago seem astonished. l tell
them Peruna did Ii. l will say it is
the only remedy for spring and all other
ailments"
Ask Your Druggist for a Free Peruns
Almanac for 1912.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12

or ufusgist wlii refund money III PAZO ONT
~ M IaIis TO cure any case of Itching, Blind.
ieed.ns or P1o,rndine Piles In 8 10 Ia Gays. SOC.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1912-01-12

CATARRH
RELIEVED
BY PERUNA.
Nv Husband Also Uses
Peruna.

Mrs. Della
NJ a S a m :
uels, W h o 8 e
pic t u e &C
companies this
{ e t j m onial
and who re-
sides at 358
N. Condo st.,
Upton, Ind,
writ e . The
Peruna Co., as
follows:
Eight bot
ties Of Peruna
G m p e tely
cured me of
systemic a
tarrh Of sew
eral y e a s.
standing, and
If my husband
feels badly or
either of US
catch cold we
at once take
Peruna."
The Keota news., 1912-11-01

have IN operation. Iwould not listen to
that, and when . friend Of my husband
told him about Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound and what It had done
for his wife, was willing to take It
Now look the picture Of health and feal
like it. too. l cen do my own housework,
hoe my garden, and milk COW. I can
entertain company and enjoy them. I
can visit when I choose, and walk a. far
a. any ordinary woman. any day in the
month. ! wish I could talk to every
suffering woman and girl. "-Mrs. DENA
BETHuNE, Sikeston, No.
Murrayville, Il.-"I have taken Ly.
dia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
for very bad case Of female trouble
and It made mo we'll woman. Ny
health was all broken down, the doctors
said must have IN operation, and I was
ready to 60 10 the hospital, but dreadedit
20 that began taking your Compound
! got along % we'll that gave up The
doctors and was saved from the opero.
don. MIN. CHARLES NOo1G. 3. r
No 4 kuzzayvillaI III
The Keota news., 1912-11-01
HE WAS TAKING NO CHANGES
Small Boys Precautions Nay Rave
Been Excessive, But He SUI
Had the Suit

Rev. John N. Underwood. one
81 Pittsburg's most eloquent and
earnest ministers, said the other day:
In q Temperance address In the spring
pointed out that drunken husbands
kill every year. with revolvers ana
hatchets and clubs. $500 wives. That
$500 babies are killed BY drunken
fathers who crush them In bed. That
80 per cent Of all our divorces are due
to drunkenness"
Mr.. Underwood paused. then added:
Il heard recently Of . little boy to
whom q warm and comfortable suit
had been given. The boys father was
a drunkard. and 1t was feared that the
suit would soon ind its way to the
pawnshop. But = week after the lad
had got the suit he was still wearing
It
"Good for you. Johnny!' said city
missionary to the little chap. Still
wearing your suit, see.'
"'Yes. SIR the urchin explained. I
sleep In it'"-Chicago Record-Herald.
The Keota news., 1912-11-01
ITCHING AND BURNING

1766 West 46th Ave-, Denver. Colo
III had . very sore leg. 1t troubled
me for some twenty years and finally
broke out to = running sore with
much fever and terrible itching and
burning. It burned and itched 80 bad
ly l could not rest day or night and
was obliged to lie in bed. The sores
were in spots just a. raw AZ . piece
Of beet. used medicine. yet 1t
wouldn't heal Seeing the advertise
ment for Cuticura Soap and Ointment
I Immediately wrote for some. Tho
immediate cure was more remarkable
than can describe. was complete
" cured" (Signed) Mrs.. Curry
Brown, April II. 1914.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample Of each
free. with 32-p. Skin Book. Address
postcard "Cuticura, Dept L Boston"
Adv.
The Keota news., 1912-11-01
VICE.PRESIDENT
IS SERIOUSLY ILL
JAMES .. SHERNAN'0 PAT9 %
SEALED ~ DREAD
DISEASE.
FAMILY At BEDSIDE
KIDNEY AND HEART TROUBLE;
BELIEVED PARTLY RESULT
OF ovERWpRk.

Western Nsvspapsr Uaien News 0ssvtsA
Utica. N. Y.-James 8. Sherman.
vice presidsu of the United States.
u seriously III and steadily failing At
his home here. While his physician. Dr..
Taystts II. Peck. believes there II no
immediate danger Of death. the pa
usnt's condition u such that 1t u
matter Of conjecture how much longer
he can Withstand the ravagcs Of the
disease with which he II afflicted.
Dr.. Peck authorized this statement:
"Nr. Sherman has been sick all o
this year. due to the condition OF the
kidneys. hardening Of the arteries and
eoftening Of the muscles Of the heart
which somewhat stretched. Mr.. 6hor.
The Keota news., 1912-11-01
JAMES .. sHgRMAN,


Voo-Presioent Of United 4tat0o
man had IN attack In the Adirondacks
a1 Big Moose lake. and expected him
70 die. He got out Of Big Moose, and
improved steadily and satisfactorily
until the latter part Of August Since
then his condition has been aggravat-
Cd and he has been steadily failing.
For the last three weeks. since he
came back from Connecticut. where he
went. to rest. he has been dressed only
once, and that was . week ago FRI
day. when, against my protest. be
went out to the polls to register.
"Nr. Sherman 10 now in the condt
ton which that sort Of trouble leads
to, and u very seriously III. but there
Il. bslievs. no Immediate danger Of
death"
After . day Of discouraS!ng symp.
toms, Mr.. Sherman rallied 1t nightfal
and continued to show improvement
during the evening.
The Keota news., 1912-11-01
The Usual Thing.

The Usual Thing.
II see," siid the guinea pig. tmidly.
that they say you are tho cause Of
the increasing cost Of eggs"
YES" responded the hen, weartly.
they're following the same old rule
when anything goes wrong. always
blame the woman"
The Keota news., 1912-11-01

AiIIss Headed for censtantinopIs.
London.-Trom al points, even Con.
stAntinople. now come dispatches tell.
ing Of astounding victories on the
part Of the Balkan allies. who are
driving the Turkish columns before
.tAamyin panio1tdckoa retreat.
The Keota news., 1912-11-01
FREE TO ALL SUFFERERS

eluc., suffer from kidney bladder ne .yous dissa:eA
write for my FREn book. Is - tho NOS instroctlvS
medical book written. It tells all about theso
frsneh kensdy .THEkAP dHM.. ~. ~: !: No3 Ne
fREH No follow up circulars. Dr.L0C1orcAe6
The Keota news., 1912-11-01
pimdent Youth.

OifRdent Youth.
.Good morning. Mrs. Ales." said .
grocery boy awaiting an order from .
lady In q suburban town.
please call me Allees." answered
the lady. That's my name"
But I don't know you well enough
to call you Alice" rejoined the youth.
confusedly.
The Keota news., 1912-11-01

Live energetic Salea.ne. Wanted to sell ouV
splendid Coast grown Nursery stock W.
have an immense Stock OF nns trees IN ap4
p!es etc. and the hustiing man can masS
big money working for Address 0ALBN
NCReEKT COMPANY. sALEN. OREGON.
The Keota news., 1912-11-01

y
/ was In bed for four
or Eve days 1T . time
every month, and 20
weak I could hardly
walk. Icramped and
had backache and
headache, and was
20 nervous and weak
that ! dreaded to see
anyone or have any.
onemovein theroom.
The doctors gave me
medicine to ease me
said that ! ought to
The Keota news., 1912-11-01
Alphabet etIeaily Speaking

Alphabetically Speaking.
Among . recent batch Of candidates
for appointment to the police force OF
Washington was big darkey. evident
ly Of rural origin, who announced Ms
readiness to stand examination.
Are you q native Of this city! ne
was asked.
mo. sub. am from the first state
in the Union"
"A New Yorker?"
mo, sub am from Alabama!"
Alabama Is not the first state In
the Union, a. the saying goes" 70
sponded the examiner.
Alphabetically speaking 1t IL. sub.
said the candidate with conviction.
Alphabetically speaking"
The Keota news., 1912-11-01

The Old Gentleman-How did you
ever come to be named Fido John
son?
The Pickaninny-why. old Jedss
Smin he don thought 80 much OF
me dat he named me after his dog.
The Keota news., 1912-11-01
Probably.

"A thing II never 20 when It Ii
not So"
'rn bet 1t is II your wife says 1t
il"
The Keota news., 1912-11-01

important 70 Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, . safe and sure remedy for
infants and children. and see that It
The Keota news., 1912-11-01

Don't be mi.led. Ask for Red Cross
Bag Blue. Makes beautiful white clothes.
At al good grocers. Adv.
The Keota news., 1912-11-01
Uneratefui Guest.

Uneratefui Guest.
Brown-So you spent Sunday with
the Suburbs, eh? How far Is their
house from the stAtion?"
Towne-About two miles a. the duat
hies!-Judge.
The Keota news., 1912-11-01
Superiority.

Superiority.
my wife can make a tart answer"
my wife can do better than that
She can make . pie speak for itself"
The Keota news., 1912-11-01
Usual Answer.

Usual Answer.
What II this j0y-riding accident
an about!" Q
The Joy riders arc about Ill in.
The Keota news., 1912-11-01

teethIug. softens the gums, reduces tunamma.
fiou. aIlays pain. cures wind eo,sc. Nc bottle.
Adv.
The Keota news., 1912-11-01
women SHOULD
Be PROTECTED
Against So Many Surgical OPP
erations. How Mrs. Bethune
and Mrs. Moore Escaped.
Skeston, Mo-
fered everything.

seven year, Isuf.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1912-04-30
FRoM DREBIN,s FRIENps.

Cristobal. C. l., Panama, April 20, 1912.
Editor FL PasO Herald
We old clmraues In AIRS with che
Tow famous Capt sam DreEia. With
ten. OrOZco CL the mach s. nth u
Alexico City, reading recent accounts
of him in your valuable als.l reliable
Pal er. whH-h x e receive here aqd anX-
iOusly await by each mall have brought
bsek 70 us Pheasant Eecoiiections OF
old times with Capt. sam, or, as we
call him. "Our fighting jew making
history in other countries.
We chased the TagalOs in Luzon. the
MOrOs in MindanaO. the Gugus in Cebu.
Then we went to China and chased the
boxers out Of Taku, TOngku and Tien
Tsin. and marched to Pekin and ran
both boxers and imperial troops out OF
this latter city.
When there was no mors fighting
to be done in the orient, we came to
Panama to help Uncle sam build the
canal. peacefully If possible, but ready
at any time for any emergency.
Things were a little too peaceful On
the canal, so when Zelaya OF Nicarag1s
got into trouble, and our meddlesome
secretary Of state Knox (shOuld read
Knocks wished TO have him removed
we at once jumped into the fray and
succeeded in getting Bill Pitman in
jail, with Estrada's help we soon made
Zelaya. leave the country.
In our next venture, we are so-rv TO
say. Capt. sam was not with rs as he
missed the fun in HAyUi. but sam was
lucky. as we Were on the wrong side
and had to hike to Jamaica with Isl
mon
Now sam is hiking across a country
flat is so familiar &c us that We al
rlCst EEL that we a~e with MIN again.
as JuareZ. Chihuahua, Parral and Es-
Gallon are old stamping grounds Of ours
and as familiar as the isthmus of Pan
anna TO all Of us.
Cen Lee Christmas was here the
other day and said that he felt like go
ing 20 Mexico and would do so II the
stakes were Don POrfiriO: We would
all be with OrOZCO if he had the old
mans banner, but at present il looks
as if Don Pasqual did not know who
he had in view for the big chair.
Americans and MeXicans in Mexico
viii find out 10 their sorrow that Ii
would have been better TO have left
well enough alone and have kept Don
PorfiriO Diaz in the chair. But if they
can put fin some one like him IL might
turn out all right after ALL
But as one of the writer's has known
Mr.. AIaderO personally for 20 years and
has never considered him strong or
brainy man. we do not see how Mexico
can expect to get along with him hold
ing its chief position.
The undersigned and all of his other
friends on the isthmus and all over
Central America wish Capt sam Drebin
and the side he is fighting for the
best Of luck-
We also have the kindest feeling to-
ward all American citizens in Mexico,