The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1912-02-29

tram SlN years ago, ne was out SELL
Ing patent medicines. was out In
vestigating them. Chance acquaipt-
ance in the smoking compartment led
TO his Offering me a drink of some
great unknown's Balm Blossom Bit
ters" from sample bottle which he
carried IN his overcoat pocket. Under
the expansive influence OF this bcv-
erage. he informed me that business
was good with the bitters (strongly
alcoholic). particularly in the no-li
cense districts, and that he was do
Ing profltably with side line OF ca
tarrh snuff.
start 'em in on 1t for cold, aud
then make em believe that It's a
good preventive, and the trade is
yours. You've got 'em. They can't
stop IT,"
"Cocaine?" / asked.
Sure" he replied blithely. Then
with sudden change 10 suspicion:
What do you know about cocaine"
Enough to appreciate the SOUND
ness OF your method. re a man takes
your cocainized snuff regularly for a
short time. OF course you've got his
trade, because you've made a cocaine
fiend OF him and he can't stop"
He demanded explicitly and some
what violently 10 know who was. |
told him.
Golfers, eh?" he barked. And
what good do you expect TO do with
all your bowling and beefing against
the proprietary medicine trade?"
why. there Is some educative force
in print. you know" mildly ventured.
Print? Sure there is! And who's
got the prlnt?"
He jerked newspaper from mis-
pocket and flung It open before me.
Look at that" he cried tri-
umphantly. Let 'er go as she lies.
There you are, just as the page hap
pened TO turn. What's on it?"
There were many things on IL, but
most conspicuously DR.. Kilmer OF
Swamp Root ill-fame was leering
across the sheet at Lydia Pinkham
/ (long dead but still doing business AT
the old stand), the one promising
unctuously to cure the incurable, tile
other preaching her false doctrines OF
( salvation to Sister Woman.
Look at EN-" crowed the pateut
I
1 What does your little splurge in type
come to? You tell folks maybe hall
/ a dozen times a year that patent med
icines won't cure 'em. The newspa'
pers tell EN- every day OF every year
that patent medicines will cure en-
Which are they going 10 believer
He paused to let that sink In be-
fore continuing with the outthrust
chin OF menace: And, say, do YOU
know what you're up against? You're
up against a hundred million dollars
OF the toughest money ever earned.
You'll make your little blum. and then
well get you one way or another
We've got the newspapers and we've
got the politicians, and We'll have Tie
lawyers when il comes time. You
( cant hurt our business. After yours
all through. and in jail, like as not,
for libel, I'll be doing a better trade
than | was before. Paste that in your
hat"
A few weeks ago we met again IN
the lobby of Chicago hotel. was
still out OF jail and SO. though by a
decidedly smaller margin, was my
nostrum-peddling friend. Much va
ter land considerable patent medi
cinel had run under the bridges since
our former meeting. The Pure Food
law had gone into effect, and all
ouackdom had been severely shaken
thereby. My former acquaintance re-
called himself to me blythe name Oh
"Mr. billing"
"Still travelling for Balm Blossom
Bitters?" | asked. You ought &c
know" said he reproaehfully. Tht
Bitters blew up three years ago. In
out of the medical game And NJ
proceeded to give me birds-eye view
of one of those careers which balance
ON the razor edge between fat-and
easy profits on the one hand and The
penitentiary on the other. For
time he had struggled phenacetir
from Canada. Then he had bought
, into a developer" TO which the post
office department put an end. Subse
ouentIv he had been run out OF Kan
sas for trying to sell stock In purely
atmospheric mine, and was. at ,ht
time OF our meeting, living rather
scantily on a real estate boom, th'
real etsate being real enough, but un
suitable for building operations pS
reasc- of the two fathoms OF Lake
Michigan water everything IT, Du' ~
didn't feel at home in that pursuit, ne
said. He yearned to get back into
the nostrum line.
THE trouble is to find anything
The complained. "The patent medi
lciue business is all shot to pieces
|, Maybe it'll take brace now that the
United States supreme court ha:
kicked hole in your rotten Pure
Food law Say, you know whats
aein, ON in washington. I spose." Ht
looked at me cunningfy. Who got
to them fellows?"
What fellows?" queried, not fol
lowing him at first
Why. the supreme court judges"
I tried TO explain TO him that Jus
tees Of the supreme court OF the