Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-05-26


brated wit referred to an English joke. A
young Englishman at party mostly COM
posed of Scotsmen made several attempts
to crack a joke, and, failing to evoke smile
from his companions, he bee. me angry, and
exclaimed, "Why it would take a gimlet to
put joke into the heads of you Scotch
men,
One of them replied, GAY; but the gimlet
wud need tae be mair pointed than thae
jokes
A CLERGYMAN in the North of Scot
land was reproving parishioner for his
habits OF 1ntemperance. He represented to
him that whisky was his greatest enemy.
"Are we not told in Scripture to love our
enemies?' said the irreverent bacchanalian.
Eyes, Tohn," responded the minister;
"but it is not said we are to swallow them"
A WELL known idiot, named Jamie
Frazer, surprised people sometimes by
his replies. The congregation of his parish
had for sometime distressed the minister by
the habit of sleeping in church He had
often endeavored to impress them with a
sense of the improperly of such conduct,
and one day when Jamie was sitting in the
front gallery wide awake, when many were
slumbering round him, the clergyman en-
hearers by stating the fact, saying, "You see
even Jamie Frazier, the idiot, does not fall
asleep as so many of you are doing
Jamie coolly replied, "An' | hadna' been
an idiot | wad ha been sleeping, too.
IN one occasion two irreverent young fel-
- lows determined to confound the minis
ter. Coming UP to him in the High-st of
Dumfries, they accosted him with much
solemnity, "Maister Dunlop, hae we heard
the news?"
what news?"
ooh, the deil's dead"
as hep" said Dunlop. "Then | maun
pray for twa faitherless BARNS"
A YOUNG preacher was holding forth,
= with rather more show than substance,
and finally informed his audience that he
would conclude with few reflections.
An old man, who seemed not greatly graft
fed, gave significant shrug of his shoulders,
and said in a low tone of voice, aye medina
fash. There II be plenty O reflections Is warn
we, though you dinna max ony yerself.'
ON one occasion when going to church,
- DR.. Macknight, who was much better
commentator than preacher, having been
caught in a shower of rain entered the YES
lily Sodhcd IiuOuSll AN llitdilS WtlS uScu
to relieve him from his discomfort; but as
the time drew on for divine service he be-
came very querulous, and calculated over
and over again, ooh, wish | was dry! Do
you think | am dry? Do you think | am
dry enough noo?"
Tired by these endless complaints, his
jocose colleague, DR.. Henry, the historian,
at last replied, "Bide wee, Doctor, and
ye'se be dry eneuch, gin we once get into
the pu' pit"
A CLERGYMAN was preaching in a
= church where there was a choir that
monopolized the psalmody. He listened
patiently to complex piece of music. When
it was finished, he rose and solemnly said,
"Now that the choir have praised themselves,
let the congregation unite with me in praising
the Lord"
IN one occasion the professors at United
- College were made to feel the bitter
irony and reckless sarcasm of one Of their
students. The students residing within the
college dined together in the common hall.
The fare was mean, consisting generally of
rabbits. The students had often grumbled;
but, as professor presided at the table,
none ventured openly to complain. Each stu
dent asked the blessing by turns. One rose
reverently, and said:
e.