The Mobridge news. [volume] (Mobridge, Walworth Co., S.D.) 190?-1917, 1912-09-27
A Sewing Machine
Bargain

Copyright. 1912. by Associated Lit
erary Press

Ill tiARN lAHSSt III
If Sarah Schemerhorn. widow OF
Jabez Schemerhorn. had not lived IN
the outskirts Of the village OF EI!rla
she would have been indicted as a nui-
sance She had some sympathy on ac-
count of her looks. being without DOUBT
the homeliest woman in the state, but
she got no sympathy for the way she
PLAYED the fiddle. Years ago. when she
was lust as homely. but not so old'
she had bought Il cheap fiddle ana
taught herself the notes OF IN ar
That was "Old Dog Tray" She sang
as she played. and the combination had
made COWS die and horses run away.
The widow had twenty acres OF land
and some money in the bank. but ped
dlers, sewing machine men and others
with something to sell did not lind her
an easy prey. On the contrary. she
was so tight listed. as well as abusive.
that all got to avoid her. and the only
caller would be some new man on the
road. Such was Il sewing machine
man named Brown. 1t was known that
the widow had no machine in the
house, and he was sent to her as a
Joke. He found her on the front steps
with her fiddle. He heard the words
of her song when yet a quarter OF a
mile away. He stopped his RIG at her
gate and got down and went in. and as
he stood before her be realized that lie
had never seen or heard the like be
fore. He was a plain, straight man,
and when the oma had finished her
song and her music he dared to say:
Il don't believe there is n homelier
woman on the face of the earth
Nor |. either" was the reply.
"And You ought to be jailed for tor
turing that fiddle"
Am | so ~doggOned homely as they
say around hereF"
Il have travelled in Europe, Asia and
Africa, and | never saw the like! he
boldly replied.
And my iddlingT
at is enough to drive II insane"
"And my singing"
Worse than all the rest"
Say" remarked the widow, you
talk like a square man. I'll go out to
the wagon and look a machine over"
She didn't buy one. though she prom
ised to think the matter over. Mr..
Brown was going away, not greatly
disappointed, when she said to him:
You probably think. same as all the
rest, that there is not a man in the
state who would marry me?'
UNI don't want to say that"
But you think I'd have a mighty
hard squeeze of it to pick up anything
wearing trouserS?"
Somewhat that way"
Tell you what I'll do. don't need
a sewing machine no more than a cat
needs two tails, but if you'll find me a
husband who'll marry me for myself
alone I'll take a machine and pay you
the price of three"
The agent took a long, steady look
at the woman and shook his head in a
doubling way and said:
I'll keep my eyes open for a a
but don't expect the impossible"
Fortune favored him within a week.
as it always has favored every sewing
machine agent whose heart was in his
work. Forty miles away lived an old
man, long a widower, named Andrews.
He wasn't a fright to look at. but he
had tastes that made him talked of and
pointed out. He sang songs. When
he began to sing n all the crows in
the neighborhood flew away and did
not return for two days. He did not
play on the fiddle, but on the accordion
That old man could take that old ac-
Gordon and yank more signs and walls
and laments out of it than all the wild
ows in the state could utter. He was
singing and playing when the sewing
machine man arrived.
The old man played and sang for
ten minutes before noticing the stran-
ger, and then he stopped long enough
to say:
mo use for a sewing machine-I'm a
lone man on this cold airth."
~ don't want to sell you one," was
the reply.
81 don't want any notions"
~ haven't any"
"And / can't be swindled on any pat
ent right.
81 never handled any,"
Then what in the devil do you
want?"
Nothing tall. You are the one that
wants. Mr.. Andrews, l know of a
woman whose voice would just har-
monte with yours"
Then why in thunder don't you lead
me to herr"
Three or four days later he was led.
He was accompanied by his voice and
accordion. Long before reaching the