davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18
by THE WAY
By HARVEY PARSo1EA

1t is a consensus of opinion, with
the Barbershop Debating society, that
II is a bad omen for at least one of
the candidates when the Evening
of the Morning Governor twice in sue
cession.
Headliners persist in referring to
the Ohio outrage as tar party al
though the yaps used red paint. May
be it was benzonate of tar
the chemical used to make the saus-
ages So nice and red.
But the jury held that the girl was
not so red as she was painted and IS
dealing with the artists in manner
calculated to make them look blue
No, Charles, Ewing Herbert was
not paying an election bet. He has a
complete alibi. His wedding oc-
CURED twcLty-four hours prior to the
counting of the first ballot.
Pip Daniels says there are two
things that cannot be purchased with
Pip has bot,l, we accept him as an
authority.
Prof. Dyche favors the canning of
the domestic cat, but any one who
will protect the skunk as a song bird
might be expected to be a little off
on some subjects.
Vaudeville teams have to change
their presidential jokes every few
years, and it is almost worth the eX-
pense of an election to get even that
slight change in vodevil repartee.
It's long lane that has no turn
ing, and the first real sharp turn to
the left encountered by Washburn
seems to have been in Drury Lane.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18
DAFFYDHS
BY U. NOALL.

If Falstaff had a good appetite and
dined well what was it Romeo and
Juliet?
oven, Maurice, how are you fixed for
the winterO
If an old sailor found his craft get
ting unseaworthy would the old salt
cellar?
ladies first, my men, ladies first)
If the Santa Fe officials We're ship
wrecked at sea, would z. L. Cope land i?
(Tom King, you rascal, you're almost
as bloodthirsty as Bill Curtis.l
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18
EVENING CHIT
BIZ RUTH CAMERON.

When future students of history look
back to the present epoch, I wonder If
'hsy wont call At the GoIden Age.
! NO L don't mean at all in the sense Of
the old time Golden Ages. Not the Golden
Ag OF achievement or happiness but the
age of gold worship.
The age when anyone is considersd
queer If he doesn't think success ana
wealth are synonymous.
me age when the best society," is gen.
with the best bank accounts, Irrespective
OF whether they have any breeding,
morals or Intelligence.
Above all things the age when no con-
VeTsaCon between average DeonIe lasts
~ t1o re tnan rlve minutes without one party
OF the other bringing in some reference 70
ms possessions, or his friends possessions
or the possessions he used 70 have ~.
hopes to have.
At house where I once tool, nv, ,,,.oo,
1astS one woman used to regularly regaie
ne ID2rSakIasters with remarks like these:
Well I'm going to take nv hushandSs
blocked ~ 'o"' 10 De re-
for,,. hat g3 do you think, my husbands
had it a year, ' 0i'1S
Does anyone know of a good place to
nave rings reset? I am so afraid of +be
1eweler 5 substituting inferior stones Won
AiIoW nave TO be careful or account Of
my twenty-five hundred dollar emerald, y
ms woman was such a fragrant Wo--
Sh1per OF the golden calf THAI the rest of
the ooarders used to joke about ler TWEEN
ralncoat etc. And yet I noticed thaI
tnongh We were somewhat more subtle
ABOUT 1t, we also were prone to insinuafe
similar references to our possessions into
tie conversation. ~
= young man from New York married
g5rl whose home was in Bermuda and on
an The wedding presents which were sent
t5ere ne had to pay duty. So every time
the subject of customs came I'M vouId
tell his experiences ana ent1r,ai e. " ~o tI
gifts. A'e th|
There was a silver service that must
nave cost at least five hundred he yoIIId
say, and a set of hand-painted china
mat was worth between three and four
hundred, etc. We used to wonder how
the values he gave US compared with
those he qtpted to the customs Inspector
now this man pretended to be down on
the tariff. He should have been grateful
to 1t. Just think of the chances ii gave
ham to blow about those gifts!
HOW prosperous Mr.. A. looks beard
enc woman say to another, does he MAKE
great deal of money!
..,,, NO; he doesn't said the other woman.
put he manages to look as il he did
Fhats the next best thing isn't it?',
10 future students of the Golden Ace I
recommend this motto of the age as Th-a
best key to it, as Tue
To have money or to appear to hay.s If
is the whole duty,of man. ~
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18
OUT OF DOORS,

Oh, it's hoi for the fields today!
For the sweet, wide, out-of-doors!
For the air, like wine,
For the crisp sunshine,
And the asters along the way.
And it's no! for the quiet wood
For the flame on bush and tree!
For the stream, leaf strewn.
For the rifles tune,
And the quail with her scuttling brood.
Oh, it's hoi for the everywhere
That's out under Heavens blue;
For meadow and stream,
And hillsides a-gleam,
And the autumn that's in the air.
Martha R. McCabe, in the Independent
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18
Turk shrewd Business Men.


It comes rather as a surprise
to learn from a recent consular re-
port that the Turk, whom many of his
neighbors are trying to afnihilate, is
becoming a shrewd business man.
Formerly the merchant bought figs,
sultanas, or what not to the fullest
measure of his capital, and, having
at a good opportunity at the best profit
obtainable. Now he begins, not at the
buying, but at the selling end
He sells first what he has not yet
bought, what has not yet even, perhaps,
been produced and afterward begins to
buy, very often with money that is not
his own, but has been advanced by a
bank" says the report. This facility of
disposfng of other peoples capital to-
transport facilities. enables him to
transact a volume of business in a COM
paratively short space of time, alto
gether out of proportion to his own
means contenting himself with a very
small margin of profit. This method,
however. despite it's apparent advan-
tages, is fraught with great risk. A
slight fiuctuation in the market price
means a heavy loss, and often leads to
the discontinue of the merchant. Ac-
cording to a writer in the journal of the
British Chamber of Commerce at
Smyrna no less than $4,000 was in
1911 lost by speculation in figs and sui
tanas."
During the last four or five years a
number of limited liability companies
have been formed at Smyrna. there has
been an extension and generalization of
the credit system, the trust idea has
emerged. and small dealers are being
squeezed out.-Special Gable to The
Washington Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

peka lads have gone through the cpl
demic thoroughly vaccinated-at GER
tain times of the day the shadow of
the roof over the attorney generals
office touches the high school grounds.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

Yale has sent out a directory of
graduates with the request that editors
glance through the list when it is as
serted that certain criminals received
their diplomas from Yale Yale claims
that nine-tenths of these college af-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

1t is now declared that President Nc
Kinley of the Illinois Traction company
came to Topeka only on a pleasure tour
and not to figure out improvements for
the Topeka Railway company. Mr..
Mckinley might move his office here
ar l enjoy himself the year around.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

The superintendent of the Hutchin-
son schools is complaining because the
girls do not get to their classes on time.
He charges them with spending too
much time in front of the mirror with
powder rag and curling iron. Does the
Hutchinson professor forget about the
breakfast dishes?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

A Chicago man, in his haste, took
out a hunting license instead of a
marriage license. Still, it will be
handy when he wants his wife, if she
is a club woman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

The finest building INTELLECTUALLY in
Kansas stands facing the state house
grounds incomplete because of lack of
state funds. 1t is hoped that the legis-
lature this winter will appropriate
enough to finish the iE-erior to COM
pare favorably with the exterior. The
state memorial structure could be made
the finest of its kind in the country.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

Preachers are registering their COM
plants because they average 81 900 a
year and baseball pitchers go well
above the $1,000 mark. The ministers
should remember tina there is no one
standing at the church doors taking
ficLxefs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

Kansas has so much corn this year
that the young men are challenging
each other in husking contests One
central Kansas farmer boy husked 1872
bushels in a day. Ought to be plenty
of hot tamaIe covers this winter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

New York is to have a bar for wo-
men. And probably there are New
Workers with nerve enough to line up
to it with their wives and ask: What
IL you have, my DEAR
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

New York merchants are clamoring
for more police. If their demand
proves unavailing perhaps they can
get the governor of the state to send
them the inmates of Sing Sing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

The New Orleans Picayune rises up
and suggests that as long as the Re-
publican newspapers are giving Wood
row Wilson credit for having horse
sense they should add that he will run
a stable government.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

A German professor says Americans
weaken their eyesight by drinking
their beer too fast. But on investiga-
ton he will find that it doubles their
vision.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

"A st. Paul man became intoxicated
on So" The odor and appearance of
some 50 bills are enough to indicate
that they can do worse than that.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

On the witness stand recently a
prominent eastern physician admitted
that doctors charge according to the
wealth of their patients. It might be
added that they charge also according
to the length of their patience
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18
FULL LEASED WERE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The state Journal Is a member Of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report OF that great news or
GRniEAtion for the exclusive afternoon
publication IN Topeka
The news Is received in The State Jour-
OoGa-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

An Italian prince is studying di-
vorce in Newport. Still his American
heiress. when he gets her. will teach
him all he needs to know on that
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

The Open Door," new melo-
drama. is said to be a pronounced sue
cess in New York. But then the open
door always is popular there, especial
ly after midnight and on Sundays.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

It is a safe bet that Woodrow Will
son will not sleep twenty-four hours
out of thirty-six when he has the tariff
and a Democratic congress on his
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

Several Kansas high school faculties
have swooped down upon the unsus-
pecting frats = frats that fourished
badly despite the state laws. The To-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

If you are not acquainted with the
tariff, take a glance at it now-when
the Democrats are through with it
after the special session it will be a
mysterious stranger
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

Another grating alliance. Luther
Burbank has sold his business to a
syndicate.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18
SAYS UNCLE CAV

The world is getting better-we've
quit Dragging about our inf1rmities.
| There was Il heap # comfort Tor some
OF the old fa'' fun, q men and nr"n
of yesterday in hearing somebody say:
Poor dear-not long for this world! ,
Nowadays the disposition is to forget
that one had been gently reared ana
to reach for the nearest club.
The American race may be suffering
from a lot of things, but it right dis
tinctly is not suffering from decadent
physical ideals. The pale ethereal eX-
quisities of other years have gone to
their long rest and they have Few sue
cessorS outside of institutions provided
for the safekeeping of those VINO are
trying - dre yC.u'G.
We have supplanted the dreamy
look in the eyes of the sedentary flow
er of maternal pride with the bullying
life better than exotic fancies. We
have shooed Claribel Mayme away
from the bonbon box and sent her
golfing, skating and cross-country run
ming. We know that Drawn is not In
compatible with brains, and beef and
spirituality are not enemies. We have
learned that the artistic temperament
dc esn't die because it has T. associate
with body that can work like horse,
and that it requires good hearnS
animal to withstand mental strain.
We hire doctors nowadays to pre-
vent disease and we take it for granted
thdt to De SICK is a QlSSTdCS. 1HSledu
of commanding unalloyed sympathy
most of the illness nowadays arousess
contempt The battered old hulk of
a dissipation-scarred BLACKBOARD no
longer takes refuge in the plea of
divine will. We know that he is
prodigal of prodigals, and if he gets
chance at the veal outlets it's when
the rest of us are not looking. He's
no hero of morbid sentiment nova
days. He's merely fool whelmed in
his follies. And that attenuated old
gossip who laced too tightly and ate
fudge when she should have been de-
vourng beefsteak finds it difficult to
arouse enthusiasm for her ailments in
the breast of the rosy, full-bosomed,
healthy bodied and healthy minded
young matron who known the value
of outdoor exercise, fresh air and
hygienic dress.
We have quit trying to populate
heaven with infant angels and are do
ing our best to give good Mother Earth
children who are worthy of her. And,
as we used to say back in Puckyhud-
die, there's a durn sight O. sense in
that" -(Copyright, 1912, by the Nc
Clure Newspaper Syndicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18

well, Binks,'' said DobbIeIe11 ..1 -
that they have just had their comnoepceo
ment up at your boys college. How did
ne stand the examination of his rnen+aI
baggage" A1 right said Binks. sst,e1l
didn't find anything dutiable. -Harper.s
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18
DIVORCE AT PLEASURE.

The English are going to make di-
Vorce easier. The minority of the
royal divorce commission says that
there is at work in all classes a
strong tendency against the continu-
Gus union of man and wife" It would
seem so, when the republic of Uru-
quay, in South America, has just pass
ed law soon to go into effect, which
provides for a decree of divorce mere
ly on the application of the wife and
at her pleasure. If she wants to go
free she just says so, and the decree
IS granted. The United States consul
at Monitevideo says the women from
other countries are focking TO that
city to obtain divorces This certainly
must be the result of a law for d.
Vorce at pleasure. Perhaps Montevi-
deo viii soon take the place of Reno
as divorce headquarters However
there amt no buses runnin'" from
BroaoNay to Montevideo. Even steam
ers going that way are few and far ho-
tween: Perhaps the new law will slim
uiate business between the ports of the
united states and Uruguay.-New Yortl
Evening Mail.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1912-11-18
FROM OTHER PENS
ARE WIVES LAZY?

In arraigning the wives and daugh-
tiers of farmers on the ground that
they are permitting their social duties
to interfere with household work
spending most of their time in the
| family automobile or gallivanting in
society, the Agricultural Department
had adopted a very canny way of in
creasing the productivity of the soil.
1t has long been the habit of sociol-
ogists to paint a doleful picture of the
wives and daughters of farmers. Up
with the dawn, drawing the water,
lighting the fires, getting breakfast
Tor the hired men, spending all the
day in the kitchen, and at times toll
ing at the pillow, the lives of women in
the country were described as being
anything but languid and luxurious
Statisticians had the habit of assert
ing that tuberculosis and typhoid were
more prevalent among the wives of
farmers than among the women of
any other class. They also said that
the lives of the women were shorter,
and that the percentage of insanity
among them was exc beSSiVe.
Was it any wonder that the popula-
ton in the country districts continued
to decrease while the population in the
cities increased? Women were afraid
to live in the country. No, appar-
emily, the department of Agriculture ia
trying new tack. George K. Holmes,
chief of the bureau of production and
distribution, in an interesting report,
says that the way the wives and
daughters OF farmers neglect house
hold work for social affairs is simply
dreadful! No more homemade pies,
cornbread. and home cooked food!
Everybody works but mother and
daughter.
Let the glad tidings be spread
broadcast to the feminine population,
and then the country can sit back
with assurance and wait for the newt
able drift back to the country from
the cities.-Washingto Post.
The Mena weekly star., 1912-01-11
ABE RUEF'S PAL
 GOES ON TRIAL
Schmitz, Who Was Taken From Theater Orchestra and Made Mayor by Ruef, Has Sixteen
 Indictments Against Him.

San Francisco. Jan. D. Former Mayor Eugene Sehmitz will face trial today on one of the i6 indict- ments charging him with bribery lin connection with the passage of trolley ordinances during his ad- ministration, 1906 and 1907.
 Sehmitz was mayor, having been elected on the Union Labor ticket when Abe Ruef was the curly boss and ezar of San Francisco. II has been alleged that that SSsohf,iTiit SSsohf,iTiittS was a mere flgurehead and that he was completely under the finger of Ruef who is now serving a i4 year sen tence in San Quentin prison.
 The trial of Sehmiiz came as a sequel to the most sensational graft inquiry ever attempted in any American city. For years the city was divided between warning par ties and dire threats and attempted assassinations were almost daily during the course of tho investigation, which uncovered much corruption, not alone among city officials, but involved many ''higher-upsN in social and flnan- cial circles who had proflted large ly through the regime of graft.
 Abe Ruef. the discredited and convicted boss, is now one of the model prisoners of San Quentin. We'll educated, an able lawyer. modestly dressed. careful and pre- else in his choice of English. he was far from being the typical rough neck boss. With great tal- ents, he might have been highly in the role of an honest man, but he chose instead the road that led to San Quentin
The Mena weekly star., 1912-01-11
SCORES IDLE OFFICERS
Georgia Congressman Charges That Most of Naval officers Spend Too
 Much Time in Club Rooms.

Washington, Jan. Represent ative Howard of Georgia, urging today before the house naval af- fairs subcommittee the reinstate- ment of Lieutenant Col c. Nj. Perkins to the marine corps. de- clared that Perkins discharge for his alleged mental incompetcncy" was "Dreyfusp conspiracy, matched at the army and navy club in Washington. Howard at lacked both the marine corps and the navy. "Only 32 per cent of the officers of the navy" he said, "are in actual service. The remainder sit about Washington, engaged in social pursuits. Naval battles are planned and fought in the clubs, where liquor takes the place of the briny deep with red cherry as the ship and the toothpck as the propelling force. The officers fur nish the wind"
The Mena weekly star., 1912-01-11
NEW HEAD FOR BOYS
 CORN CLUB WORK
IF. NJ. Jeffords, Formerly an OlSla- homa Man, Succeeds Prof. H. s. Mobley in Arkansas-AIObley
 Will Continue Lectures.

The following item, published first in the Arkansas Democrat, will be interesting to many in Polk county who have heard Mr. Mobley talk and have come in contact with him and his work. He has spoken several times in Mena, and his talks moi only hold the closest attention of his hearers, but were of a na- lure to stimulate all to better things and better living, and 1t is to be hoped he will again visit this locality
 grhc United States Department of Agriculture has appointed T. M Ielfords, recently of Oklahoma, to succeed +. s. Mobley in charge of Inc Boys Corn Clubs and school extension work in Arkansas.
 MT. Jelfords is expected to ar rive today and at once take up his work as assistant to c. w. Watson special agricultural agent for Ar kansas, with offices in the old statehouse.
 "Dr. 0. B. Martin, who has gen. oral charge of the corn club and ,chool extension department of the United States Department of Agri- culture, is in the city. and will ad- wise with Messrs, Watson and Jeff ords in planning for the corn club work this coming year.
 This is the first time the corn club and school extension work in Arkansas has been placed directly in charge of the general agricul- lural agents and made part of the farm demonstration organiza- tion.
 Tt was stated, unoillcially, today, that MT. Mobley would probably continue in the lecture and exten- sion work of the College of Agri- culture of the University of Ar kansas under c. F. Adams"
The Mena weekly star., 1912-01-11
WESTMORELAND QUITS
Man Who Had No Show Withdraws in Favor of Robert w.
 McFarlane.

Greenwood, Jan. 5.-Leon Vest moreland has withdrawn from the 'congressionai race in the Fourth district in favor of Robert w. Me- Farlane. Westmoreland is the newspaper man who opposed Ben Cravens two years ago.
 " esstiH0feiafid was never con- sidered a factor. and his withdraw al will have little effect on the standing of the four remaining can didates-Judge J. M. Carter of Tex arkana. Judge J. D. Shaver of Mena. State Senator Oits T. Wingo of De- Queen and Robert McFarlane. whose standing here is about in the order in which their names appear, this is McFarlane's home town.
The Mena weekly star., 1912-01-11
Roosevelt Won't Talk.

New York. Jan. Roosevelt found his editorial office thronged today. Various reports that he is soon to make a statement regard ing his political position drew a large crowd who bombarded him with questions.
 Tt is no use," he said, shaking his head, T shall say nothing. Not a word.'
 Col Roosevelt was asked whether he had seen the statement by Law renee Abbott, political editor of the Outlook Company. declaring Roose- welt is not a candidate for the pres idential nomination. T have not seen 1t, he replied.
 Do you expect to see it?r
 T shall not" replied the colonel. with a vigorous shake of his head. las he strode into his private office.