The Washington herald., 1912-03-29

gate to Congress. was buying sledge dogs
some time ago for a jaunt into the In
terror. He arranged with an old half
Indian Alaskan native to act as his pur-
chasing agent, as he himself knew little
about the relative value OF dogs After
they had picked out one or two that a
dealer had. wickersham indicated a par
ticularly large, jovial looking dog. and
told his agent to be sure and get that
one. The agent shook his head.
You no want him." he said.
wIckersham called him aside. whats
the matter with the dog7' he asked.
The old man desired to say that the
dog was too old. but not being fraught
with much definite knowledge OF current
English phrase. he put It this way:
Him been too long dog.
A. Mitchell Palmer. the handsome Har-
old McGrath character from Pennsyl-
van, got up a debate in the House re-
Gently on the question. ''Is J. Hampton
Moore or Michael Donohoe the greater
mani"
Both Moore and Donohoe represent
Philadelphia districts. Moore is a Re
publican and Donohoe a Democrat. The
two have fallen into a spirited rivalry
in the matter OF waterway legislation.
and they were on opposite sides OF the
question that Palmer brought up, Moore
taking the Moore side and Donohoe CIV
ing his full moral support to the Dono-
hoe side. According to Palmer, Donohoe
Is Just the Ioveliest gentleman yet. and
Mr.. Uncle Joe Cannon. who lined up with
the Moore team, gave a similarly adu-
Iatory talk on j. Hampton Moore. Among
other things, Mr.. Uncle Joe said, banter
ingly:
II haven't the pleasure Of Mr.. Dono-
hoes acquaintance. yet Notwithstanding
the delightful character that has been
pictured for MIN by his colleague, I
feel certain that when the ides OF next
November shall have come. the places
that know him now will know him no
more
So the next day Donohoe hunted up
Mr.. Uncle Joe and introduced himself
and twitted him about his attempt at
prophecy.
"Oh, I do think these wayward Penn
sylvania districts will return to the Re
publican fold" said Mr.. Uncle Joe. Il
don't know how q lot Of you fellows got
here in the FIRST place"
We'll. in my case II was simple
enough" said Donohoe. The thing that
enabled me to get here was the fact that
you spoke in my district in behalf Of
my opponent"
At that the two separated. each laugh
ing merrily.
Representative Dupre, Of Louisiana, in
troduced a resolution the other day to
prohibit the insertion of the word ZAP
plause" in any members speech IN the
Congressional Rscord. TIE day after he
had turned m his resolution one OF Du-
pres colleagues stage-whIspered to him
in Capitol corridor:
Hist Here comes a man you must
avoid. Let US run and hide. He may
plunge a dirk into your heaving bosom "
'wsy-tay-mInuteT exclaimed Dupre.
Il refuse 10 hide from any man. All my
life have so lived that / can look any
fellow human in the eye. and I care not
who he Is. Who is tho fellow. anyhow"
"Sh-h-h-h"' says tie friend It's
Adam Littlepase, and he may have heard
about your no-applause resolution. Have
a care! May heaven help you when he
catches you alCre"'
The answer is that LlttIepage is the
man who broke all records when he came
to Congress last spring for the number
OF parenthetical applauses and loud ap-
plauses he wedged into his first pub
lished utteranccs.
Francis W. Taylor. secretary to Seere-
tary MacVeagh. was running for the city
council out in Chicago some time ago. He
had never made a public speech in his
life. but his friends told him he would
have to get a textbook on elocution and
learn how to address the voters OF his
ward.
one OF his main advisers.
"Oh. you couldn't talk on anything bet
ter than the proposition for public baths, "
the man told him.
So Taylor went to work on a political