Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1912-10-30
WHEN Mr.. PHllBIN
WENT ON THE STAGE
BY FLORENCE NEYHART.

NOT re0liy! the Otner women
shrieked after they had caught their
breaths.
NO." said Mrs. Philbin. mot really
Just on the amateur stage. But it's
lots worse than real acting. I don't
know anything better calculated to
make q staid. grown-up man kick up
his heels, buy new neckties and gen.
orally conduct himself in a kittenish
way than q request that he lend his
presence to an amateur production. II
holsters him up in his secret convic-
ton that he is a perfect mine OF un-
discovered genius.
."'Oh. MOI he said at FIRST You
don't want me, never acted in any,
thing In my life and can't do it, I'd
ruin the piece! Get some one else!
I'd ruin the piece! Get some one
slse!' Afterward he told me that he
hated to disoblige them but he really
couldn't do It. congratulated him on
his good sense. whereupon he looked
at me as though he had caught me
trying 10 poison him. He said he re-
GREETED to see how little confidence
l had In his ability and was panied
at my exhibition of jealousy.
Then he raced TO the phone and
told the committee that Just to oblige
them and help them out OF a hole he'd
take the part.
After that Albert was lost to the
family. He passed three whole eve
nings running his hands through his
hair and memorizlng his part II
spoke to him he would stare at me
| -rNlI - h@1 60
other sphere and resented my advent
into II.
After he went to the first rehearsal
life became very hard at home be-
cause Albert took to going over what
he called the business OF his part. II
Is disconcerting TO have a man. even
II he is your husband. rush at you
from behind portieres and wander
about with the furniture IN his hands
! muttering to himself,
Mrs. Lemmock called one evening
and walked in Just as Albert tore
through from the dining room into the
parlor shaking his fist and yelling. !
have you now. you moral leper. and
| your life-your life is not worth an
hours purchased You can't blame
Mrs. Lemmock for taking 1t person
ally. especially as Albert's fist was
hourished within an inch OF her nose
During this time II remarked to
Albert that the cook was going to
leave he would stare at me and say.
Scat last. Montmorency, I have I'M
| masked you,' It was impossible to
carry on any conversation with Albert
for weeks. He was always bursting
out with bits of his part. Finally he
insisted on my learning the part that
dovetailed with his so that he could
practice at home.
Now. / love my husband and al.
ways try to please him. but consider
this my browning act OF self-sacrifice.
OF course Albert was working for pub
lie applause. but II any one wants to
know what Is my idea OF zero in
pleasant pastimes should mention re
hearsin8 q part that you aren't going
TO play. Anyhow. it's upsetting &c
have your own husband lean over you
tenderly. gaze into your eyes ant
make desperate love to you in dime
novel style! 1t makes you feel Sc
queer,
} by the third rehearsal Albert haC
begun to talk about his art and Il
speak OF well known stage people b.
their first names. He mentioned tn,
public as though he had II eating on
of his hand and he adopted the stag,
walk. When he stalked downstairs h,
thudded like a camel and when h,
stalked upstairs I always thought o
elephants. He knocked all the bric-a
20 nj
rooms and when he talked he eithe
doomed or Kissed. He demanded pc
tatoes in a voice OF tragedy and tool
TO standing before mirrors In profile
; frowning over his shape. He said tn
, mirrors were old and worn out an,
gave him a curve out instead OF
curve in.
HE got terribly fretful and when
objected he told me that l shout
make allowances for the artistic ten
permanent and that the stage manage
had told him II he had gone on tn
stage when he was a youth he UT
. doubtedly would have rfvaled Mans
field. Albert gloomed and tyrannize
and had me jumping six ways at one
hunting up his costume and buyin
eACAoO p1Ahh anu CyCOiOW pCnSiiS
: false hair and letting him repeat hi
part to me and assuring him that b
: was enhancing In It.
When l was worn to shreds tn
play was given and had my revenge
I went around into the wings to Sc
II Albert needed any help and fe
: over q shivering. crouching. chatte
ing individual trying to hide betwee