Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1912-10-03

nome. Other equally honest souls
believing that marriage Is a human
institution whose mishaps and mis-
takes should be rectitied as far as
possible, regard the divorce courts as
cities or refuge for ill-treated Or iii
mated women and men whose lives
may be saved from utter ruination by
the intervention OF high-mindec
judges.
But, whichever view is right, the
ordeal by divorce is terrifying enough
to the poor sinners or martyrs who
must undergo it.
Little Jimmie Wellington turned
pale, and stammered, as he tried tt
ask the conductor casually:
What kind OF place is thai
Reno?"
The conductor, somewhat cynical
from close association with the di
vorce-mill and it's grist, grinned
That depends on what you're leav
ing behind. Most folks seem to gel
enough of it in about six months
Then he went his way, leaving Well
ington red, agape and perplexed. The
trouble with Wellington was that he
had brought along what he was leav
ing behind. Or, as Ashton impudently
observed: you ought to enjoy your
residence there, Wellington, with your
wife on hand" ...
The only repartse that Wellington
could think of was a rather unin
spired: "You go to -"
80 long as it isn't Reno" Ashton
laughed, and walked away.
Wedgewood laid a sympathetic hand
on Little Jimmie's shoulder, and said:
THAT Ashton is no end of a bound
er, what?"
Wellington wrote his epitaph in
these words:
well, the worst / can say of him
Is, he's the kind of man that doesn't
lift the plug out when he's through
with the BASIN"
He liked this so well that he wished
he had thought Of 1t in time to crack
it over Ashton's head. He decided
to hand 1t to him ANYWAY. He forgot
that the cardinal rule for repartee, is
Better never than late"
AS he swung out of the mems room
he was buttonholed by an individual
new to the little Trans-American col.
ony. One Of the camp-followers and
suffers who prosper round the edges
of all great enterprises had waylaid
him on the way to the battle-ground
of marital freedom.
The stranger had got on at an
earlier stop and worked his way
through the train to the car named
"Snowdrop." Wellington was his first
victim here. His pushing manner,
the almost vulture-like rapacity of his
cleaning eyes, and the very vul-
turine contour of his profile, his palmy
gestures, his thick lisp, and every
thing about him gave Wellington his
immediate pedigree.
1t Ill behooves Christendom to need
reminding that the Jewish race has
adorned and still adorns humanity
with some of it's noblest specimens;
but this interloper was of the type
that must have irritated Voltaire into
answering the platitude that the Jews
are Gods chosen people with that
other platitude, TASTES differ"
Little Jimmie Wellington, hot in
pursuit of Ashton, found himself
checked in spite of himself; in spite
OF himself deposited somehow into a
seat, and in spite of himself confront
ed with curvilinear person, who
said:
''Excoose, pleass! but are you get
tink off at R-r-reno?"
Il am" Wellington answered. curt
ly, essaying to rise, only to be deli
cately restored to his place with O
gesture and a phrase:
"Then you meet me-"
"Oh, I need you, do I? And who
are your"
"Who amt I? I am Baumann and
Blumen. Our cart, pleass."
Wellington found pasteboard In
his hand and read the legend: