The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1912-06-20

under bis arm it's going TO stick out
at least four feet ahead Of him and the
same distance behind. II isn't going to
balanee. but one end will tip up and
then the other. Humpy made slow
hesduay for . block. and then the
wind turned him and his burden half
way around Just In time TO collide with
q little woman on her way to q ten
cent store 10 see IL pianos we're includ-
ed in the stock. She staggered against
q fence and went down on her knees.
while the boy fell against a shade tree,
and she was the frst to recover and
sweetly say:
"You blundering young idiot. but II
wasn't a born lady with a stifr knee
I'd boot you clear across the Gowanus
canal What do you mean by such
conductT'
"Nnothing. ma'am."
Don't 'n-nothing. ma'am me. you
unhung young villain! After dislocat-
ing my shoulder and breaking two OF
my ribs you don't mean n-nOthing!
Oh, IL / hadn't been born a lady Id
twist your fool neck for you! Where
you going with that man killing
thingT"
Just down here a ways" replied
Humpy
Then you put II on your shoulder.
You must have an idiotic mother to
send you on the street with a steplad-
der like that. Why didn't she hire q
tiatcar? Go on with your
He Encounters the Police.
Humpy shouldered the ladder and
went on. More Of It struck out before
and behind. 1t turned this way and
that. The ends swayed up and down.
Bump! This time 1t was a policeman.
He was standing on a fixed post-that
Is, 1t was so fixed that he had a saloon
on one side, a poolroom on the other.
and right In front was the house of the
widow he was courting with a view to
marriage. He couldn't have been fixed
better His back was toward Humpy
and his face toward the widows. with
the saloon In the corner OF his right
eye, when the stepladder hit him and
showed him against a lamppost and
skinned his nose.
Now, by the side whiskers of my
grandfather. but I've got YOU" he
shouted as he turned and seized Hum
py by the coat collar and shook him
and the ladder all around
Il was just carrying this homer
howled the boy.
Yes, see; just on your way to rob
some bank by getting In by way Of
the transom. Sneaky Dick. know
you"
MY name is Humpy Skinner, sir,
and live
Identified.
"Sneaky Dick, I've made the capture
Of my life. shall be made sergeant
for this Drop that thrashlng machine
and come along with me, and if you
try to make run for it III fll you
with ten pounds Of lead"
But I'm only carrying this steplad-
der to the German grOcer's. He knows
me and my father"
Then come on down there, but II
you think to fool me then look out"
The ladder was leaned up against the
lamppost and the two set off. Arrlv-
ing at the grocery, the proprietor nod
ded his head and answered the officer:
Yah, dot poy vhas named Skinner
und he don't rob no banks"
Make sure, grocer. This is a very
serious case"
Yah, vhas sure"
Then he can CO. but let this be
warning to him not to look so much
like Sneaky Dick"
But where vhas dot stepladder?"
asked the grocer
Humpy ran to get it, but it had dis
appeared, and little girl explained:
please, young sir, but tramp car
ried it off. He said he wanted to step
up in the world and that If you came
back to tell you to always carry step
ladder in your vest pocket"