The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-06-24
Doing Good

I'm KIND OF uneasy about my
health. DOCTOR" said the major. Il
have been suffering from shooting
pains in my right side, where my
heart is. and all my organs seem out
of whack in one way or another. so I
thought Id ask you to examine me
and tell me what's wrong and give
me a prescription"
I'll be glad to examine you and
prescribe. Major StandOff." replied the
doctor. when you have settled that
old account Of yours. which has been
running for three years. At the last
meeting of our county medical asso.
citation We passed drastic resolutions
fOrbidding members to have dealings
with certain people. who are notori.
ously bad pay. and your name was the
first mentioned in this connection"
well, great guns!" cried the major.
THAT should have to be insulted by a
lanternjawed sawbones right here in
this town, which owes its very exist.
cnce to my herOism and self-sacrifice
in the times that tried mems souls!
This surely must be an evil dream
from which shall presently wake!
II doesn't stand to reason that any
man, much less a one horse doctor.
would dare to hand such an insult to
the pioneer who made the wilderness
blossom as the rose!
"Why, sir. have been the best
friend you ever had since you hung
out your single. have boosted you
In season and out of season. ! took
an interest In you from the first, and
whenever a friend of mine fell sick
would say to him: Call on Doctor
COndiment! He is the most divlnely
gifted physician in these parts
"When old John BOnehead fell sick
he was going to send for ono of the
old established doctors. but I labored
with him and exhausted all my clio.
quence to get him to send for you.
Now. I ask you, as man to man. did
he send for you on my recommends.
ton or did he not?"
HE certainly did. and i've always
felt that II was a low trick on your
part. Here was q stranger in q
strange land. a young physician try.
ing to establish a practice. and you
unloaded that old deadbeat on me and
nearly broke me up In business! treat.
ii aim for six months and as soon as
he was able to move he Jumped the
town and I haven't had q cent from
hira to this day"
"Thats your idea Of gratitude. sir.
Is It? Whom I 60 forth to the hedges
and highways to find patients for you.
you think I should be responsible for
the bills they run ap! I suppose you
have forgotten who called you up
when old Mrs. Toplofty fell sick.
Just as soon rs heard Of her illness
I nearly foundered myself rushing to
a telephone to notify you. knowing
that you needed patients. I suppose
you have forgotten that kindness?"
mo. I have not forgotten. major.
and II It hadn't been for your gray
hairs I'd have shown my appreciation
with a wet elm club. I was just get.
ting footing in some Of tho wealthy
homes Of the town then. There was
a mild epidemic Of measles. and | was
quite busy and the outlook was en-.
couraglrg. Then you sent me your
COMPOUNDED telephone message. and
rushed down to sec Mrs. Toplofty. and
found that she had the smallpox!
When my wealthy patrons learned
that was treating 4 smallpox patient
they closed their doors to me That
experience set me back two years
and now you have the nerve to come
hero reminding me Of it,"
We'll, of all the shameless ingra'i
tude that ever defaced the annals "
our glorious country this is the worst
This Is the reward man gets fo
helping the poor and needy. for strain
ing his hind legs rustling around try
Ing to do good. 4 man may she,
blood and sever his heart strings try
ing to aid struggling young men an,
after years they turn and rend him,
| well. you can go to thunder wit
your medical association. I don
suppose you could tell an attack G
CHAMBERS from a lunar eclipse. an!
how. and SO your diagnosis wouldn
be worth cent. II had sick COZ
I wouldn't let you prescribe for hel
The undertaken was telling me onl
yesterday that he'll have to buy q
extra hearse II you stay here. So