davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
What's In q Manner

Mayor Brand Whitlock. Of Toledo,
was talking about certain trust mag.
nate. "He's got bad NAME" said
the mayor-novelist. Hence he can't
get a square deal. He's got as bad q
name for lawsuit as Dodgin had for
manager. Dodgin was the new man.
ager Of biscuit concern. There was
a workman at the concern who liked
to sneak off to a shed at about three
o'clock In the afternoon and smoke q
pipe and look over the afternoon pa.
per for half an hour or 80. Well, one
day, as the workman sat reading and
smoking in the shed. Dodgin ap.
peared. Who are your Dodgin asked
sternly, frowning at the idle work
man. The workman frowned back.
Huh. who are your said he. Tn
Dodgin, the new Manager was the
reply. At this the workman smiled.
so am T. he said. heartily. Come
In and have smoke"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
HE Motion Of Home,

A New York surveyor had IN a..
signment that took him into the depth
of the wilderness ten miles from
camp. The camp was a hundred miles
from the nearest railroad station. To
his surprise, he heard the sound Of
an ak. He followed the sound and
found busy woodsman at work. He
had cleared the timber away for q
few rods about, and on that space had
put up snug log cabin. All the rest,
on every side, was the profound, al
most untrodden wilderness. The man
stopped his work and greeted the sur.
veyor pleasantly. "And where did
you come FROM" he asked. From
New York." answered the surveyor.
olive there?" said he. Yes" Tho
man gazed at him as II amazed. and
by and by said: "Well, WELT Goshi
I don't see how you can bear to live
so fur away!"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
The DuIInes. Of Genius.

In my last mentioned my having
spent an evening with a society of
authors who seemed to be Jealous and
afraid Of one another. My uncle was
not at all surprised to hear me say
that was disappointed in their con.
versation. "A man may be very en-.
tertaining and instructive on paper"
said he. land exceedingly dull in com.
mon discourse. have observed that
those who shine most in private com.
pany are but secondary stars in the
constellation Of genius. A small stock
OF ideas IL more easily managed and
sooner displayed than a great quantity
crowded together. There is very sci.
dom anything extraordinary in the ap-
pearance and address OF a good writ
er; whereas dull author generally
distinguishes himself by some oddly
Of extravaganza. For this reason I
fancy that an assembly of grubs must
be very diverting."- Tobias smol.
lett to Sir Watkin Phillips of Jesus
college. Oxon.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
ReIaseo's Idea Of Venom.

An actor, at the Players club in
New York, praised David Belasco.
"You can't make a silk purse out
Of sow's ear" he said. "but Mr..
Belasco, time and again, has made a
skillful and fiery artist out Of a cold
and awkward amateur.
"Mr. Belasco has happy way, at
rehearsals, of driving home his points
Thus, one day. he wasn't satisfied with
the contempt that leading lady was
putting into certain speech.
"'More contempt he said, More
spite! More venom!
ooh, l can't do any better than I
am said the lady.
Rubbish! OF course you cam
cried Mr.. Belasco. Hiss the lines az
you'd hiss the word 'Musquash,' II you
saw q lady friend in a great, long,
Imitation sealskin coat New York
Sun.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
Dick Carlos Memory.

"Cashing'' on a valuable memory IL
a part of politics practiced in every
body's notice. The actor who is a
good mixer also adds tremendously to
his popularity. Few Of them are good
mike IS, but of those who know that 1t
pays Dick earle is the most remark
able.
When Richard was playing in
Springfield his friend Bill Shut gave
little blowout for him at the Sanga.
mon club after the show The stories
had passed and the party was about to
break up when one of the Springfield
men said:
I'VE have had Jolly time, Mr..
Garlic, and we hope to see you again.
It's doubtful, though. II you will re-
member any Of U.s."
ION the contrary" replied Garlic.
I'm pretty handy at that sort Of
thing"
And with that he ran over the
names Of 10 present and missed only
two.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
TREASURE TRovE IN OLD GUN
Find Of Turquolses In Arab Flrearm
Raised Interesting Question 40
to ThoIr Ownership.

In the narrow and rusty depths Of
an old Arab gun which had stood for
years in the ship Of M. Zucconi, an
art dealer Of 16 Rue Victor Masse,
Paris, France. huddled 241 brilliant
turquoises, which came to light in .
curious manner.
An amateur came into the shop
searching for some sort of decora-
ton for his room. After looking over
weapons Of all styles. conditions and
ages, he selected the Arab gun, which
was standing in a corner. its long un-
used barrel plugged with cork. Tho
purchase was made and the amateur
collector was Just about to leave the
shop when his curiosity to see what
was inside the gun got the better of
him. He pulled the cork and lowered
the gun. A stream of the sparkling
stones poured out, bouncing this way
and that into the dust.fllled corners of
the shop. When the men recovered
from their surprise they were both on
their knees scrambling for the gems.
Immediately a dispute arose az to
their ownership. and this was con.
tinued for more than half an hour az
the two men, both Of naturally dig
nifled disposition. crawled about the
dust and cobwebs hunting the Jewels.
They're mine!" cried the shop
keeper For years this gun has be-
longed to me-: therefore its contents
are mine."
But have bought the gun and
paid for it!" was the retort from be.
hind stack OF other firearms Of past
ages. II have bought the gun, and
what the gun contains is NINE"
After time the search for the tur-
quoises was finished, but not 80 the
argument. which was rising in TEN.
perature every moment. Finally both
men agreed to turn the Jewels over to
the police and let tho commissary de-
eide to whom they belonged.
Possibly in some desert camp some
Arab chieftain sits by his lonely fire
and wonders, cursing the while the
white man who years ago robbed him
of his fortune and the weapon width
which he won his place at the head Of
his tribe.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
DEFECTS ALL POINTED OUT
After Appraiser Got Through With
Blouse Owner Decided Not to
Match tho Lace.

"You will never know Just how
many holes and stains a garment has
until the representative of dry goods
store passes judgment on it, said the
woman. 1.-THE other day wanted to
match the lace trimming on blouse.
It was out of the question to rip the
lace off, so the garment had to go to
the store, Since l have an unconquer-
able prejudice against carrying .
parcel of any description telephoned
for the shop people to call for the
waist and l would go down later and
match the lace. The driver was &C.
companied by a regular appraiser.
"'What do you value the blouse afr
he asked.
my estimate of ten dollars was the
signal for him to let out volley of
depreciatory ordinations. BY the
time he got through I was ashamed to
look at the poor old blouse. much less
wear 1t. 1t was peppered with holes,
threads Of the lace were broken and
where the material wasn't worn out It
was soiled. All those defects were
carefully noted on q slip of paper
which I was required to sign.
1--WE have to do this for our own
protection in case any one should
come back at us for damages which
the garment was supposed to receive
while in our possession he said We
like to be accommodating but we fight
to the last ditch against imposition
According to his own document
there was nothing left to happen to
my waist except complete humiliation,
so concluded not to match the lace"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
Their Preference.

Nov, boys" said the teacher, Il
need not tell you anything further of
tho duty of cultivating = kindly dis.
position. but will tell you little
story Of two dogs. George had a nice
little dog that was as gentle as
lamb. He would sit by Georges side
quietly for an hour at a time. He
would not bark ut passers.by, nor at
strange dogs. and would never bite
anybody or anything. Thomas dog,
on tho contrary. was always lighting
other dogs. and would sometimes tear
them cruelty. He would also fly at the
hens and cats in tho neighborhood,
and on several occasions had been
known to seize COW by the nostrils
and throw her. He barked ut all the
strange men that came along, and
would bite them unless somebody in.
terfered. Now. boys. which is the dog
you would like to own, Georges or
Thomas's?" instantly came the an
swer in one eager shout: "Thomas's."
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
Why a TalIor's ThImble,

II you have ever noticed a tailor's
thimble you must have observed that
1t Is not like the one your mother or
your sisters use, because it has no top.
AS there Is reason for everything,
there is a reason for this.
The stuff your mother sews on is
usually very light and the needle is
easily pushed through by pressing tho
top of the thimble against the needle.
But tailors often have to sew very
coarse and heavy material and they
cannot get enough pressure on tho top
of the thimble, so they use the side
and therefore they have no use for .
top.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
TRAIN CHILD FROM BABYH0oD
With the First Glimpses Of Under
standing, Importance Of Good Man.
ners Should Be InstiIled.

Good manners Gas well as charity
should begin at home. therefore par
ents cannot begin too early to teach
their children how to talk and how to
behave.
A child should say Eyes, father
mo, Mrs. Blank" or THANK you
Miss so-and-so;" never mo. sir
Eyes. ma'am" or merely EYES," mo-
or THANK you" The latter forms Of
speech are used by servants only.
A child should always wait to be
spoken to by an older person. He OF
she should never interrupt in a con
versation.
A boy can hardly learn too early
that he should stand when woman
or young girl enters the room or comes
to the dining table after he is seated
All children. both boys and girls
should be taught to stand whenever
they are spoken to by older persons
No child should remain seated when
older persons are standing in the
group of which they are members.
To lose ones temper with a child ID
one of the greatest mistakes a parent
can make. In a child's mind to be
mad" Is naughty, therefore when
Mother" or Father" is angry or ir'
ritable the child notices it and FEELS
that If his or her parents can do this.
why should they scold the child for
the very same fault? Example means
everything to child. Therefore. II
you want your child not only to be
good and clever. but to have good
manners and to talk well, remember
you parents set the example in all.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30

door as usual to prevent q draught-
these and many more.
Tho following day she presented her
self to the doctor.
Think Of what 1t would mean to ~
tain tho same mind, tho same will. tho
same experience. and yet to go back
back to those days when the skin was
smooth and the flesh nrm and the
glorious impulses Of youth swelled
within!
Thus q week later stood Nine Yer
sale In the garden. She had opened
the latch and walked In quietly Like
Eve, she had como. once more to tempt
her lover. Forty years had dropped
away from her. Her full figure. erect
and seductive. with the feminine charm
OF youth. and her red lips. inviting
caresses-her soft, rounded cheeks!
What marvel Of modern science!
And. best Of all, she felt, standing
there. that she still loved him. loved
him Just the same: for long ago.
IN the ancient forge Of Cupid. their
hearts had been welded together. and
now what could make her feel differ
emily toward himf
She advanced Her husband had
Strengthened up. and now. as she drew
near. he eagerly arose.
WELCOMED" he exclaimed, hold
ing out his arms. his old chivalrous
manner unchanged. "Ah! You are
home again! How I have missed
you!"
And how do you like me?" laughed
Nine, versale. "as I am now, compared
with what I VAST Look at me close
ly! See! l am young again. am
the sweetheart you courted so long
20 years ago."
"Of course" he replied, taking her
hands And why not? Haven't you
always been my sweetheart"
But" Nine. Versale impatiently ex
claimed. do you not see the change
in me? Look! Look againl"
Her husband smiled at her He drew
her face close to his and looked into
her eyes. His own, somewhat dimmed
by the years. were yet keen, and now
they remained undisturbed by his scru-
tiny.
why, no. my dear!" he replied.
with quie. smile. as he folded her
in his arms and kissed her softly. Il
cannot see that you have changed.
Why should you? Have you not al
ways been the same to me4"-Life.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
Sailor Swan Fifteen Miles.

Sailor Swan Fifteen Miles.
Alfred Schurman, a sailor on tho
British steamship Bentmore, made q
remarkable record by swimming flf-
teen miles through the Gulf of Mexico
to shore.
The Bentmore steamed from Port
Arthur and was out fifteen miles In
the gulf when schurman, who was en-.
gagged at work on the railing, was
pitched overheard by a lurch of tho
ship and was not missed by his ship
mates. He struck out and after near
ly seven hours in the water finally
made shore.
1t was turbulent sea and Schur-
man was exhausted when picked up
on the beach five miles from Port Ar.
thur and sent to hospital.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
PHRASES ON HEEL AND TOE
Two Words Seem to Have Lent Them.
solves to Inaumerable Coined
Expresslons.

The fact that heels and toes are tho
only words which signify both parts Of
the body and parts Of its clothing is
doubtless responsible for the innumer-
able phrases in which both words play
an important part. In these unquestion.
ably the heel IL the more frequent fac.
tor-generally in it's corporal as dis.
unguished from its sartorial signifl-
canoe. 1t Is amusing, for instance, to
recall the time when the Washers" Of
the period wore red heels to their
shoes. thereby, It will be remembered.
subjecting themselves to the hagella.
ton from the pen Of the spectator.
Not that red heels were novelty in
Addison's time. for they were In evi.
dence in the reign Of Elizabeth. In
France the height and color Of the
heel were fashion set by the grand
monarque.
Present day votaries Of the dance
might not inconceivably laugh the sug.
gention to scorn, but. in other respects
and with due notifications, the de-
scription does not seem unrecogniz
ably archaic. "Out at heels" has long
been proverbial phrase; Falstaff, who
nowadays would possibly have de-
clared he was "stoney broke" tells
Pistol he is almost "out at heels"
We have-to take to ones heels, to
kick ones heels to show q pair of
heels. to turn on ones heels, to grind
under heel. to cool ones heels, heels
over head. the iron heel. And that
we are most lofty runaway kin.
dred expression to our Showing
clean pair Of heels" and taking to
ones heels" And quotations might
be multiplied. Nor must the familiar
two for his heels" be forgotten, the
vulgarity Of which alienated the gen.
teel mind of immortal Mrs. Battle
from cribbage.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30

you again. love you very dearly
no went on In matter Of fact tone
But you are engaged to Grant
Warren. II you were free ia do my
best to win YOU"
Inc next morning shortly after the
assembly convened Grant Warren
rose and asked for recognition.
"Mr. Speaker" he said. "as chair
man Of the committee on election
contests l desire to report to the
mousse our decision In the case OF
Jones versus Ralston. After q care
tul consideration Of the evidence pre-
sented We have pronounced the cleo
uon OF Mr.. Ralston an illegal one. and
declare that Mr.. Jones IL the lawful
member from Pike county"
Mr. Ralston." announced the
speaker. having been declared H.
legally elected. is hereby requested
70 leave his seat in the house."
There was silence as the sturdy,
erect figure passed down the aisle.
As he reached the door Mary Collins
joined him and walked with him into
the rotunda. She drew him into the
empty state library.
1T is over" he said briefly. II am
political outcast. legislative mis-.
ut. l am one Of those men whose
misfortune It Is to look on subjects
differently from their fellows. And I
have to stand by my convictions"
You are not q failure. You are q
glorious success. For the sake Of
your ideals you endured this humil.
iatton. Ideals are the only things
worth clinging to. Do you still love
me and want to marry me? II you
do I'll marry you now-whenever you
wish"
What are you talking about.
Mary7"
when first knew you was en-.
gagged to Grant Warren. I did not
love him. But the life OF self.sup-
porting woman is sometimes very
hard. Mine has been cruelty hard.
He has wealth and position. IN
tended to marry him for the material
advantages he could give me. had
had ideals Of marriage for true love.
but I had put them aside. When
knew you began to care for you as
! had never cared for any other man.
But Grant was a success and very
rich. So tried to smother the ideals
and marry him. But I can't do 1t.
realized today when you walked from
the house that l honored and loved
you and the nobility you represent
beyond anything else in the world.
want the man l love and want to
live up to my old ideals Of love and
marriage. But perhaps you don't
want woman who has been so mer-
cenary. I don't care what you are
politically and l don't care how poor
you are"
But I'm not poor" he said. star
ing at her in Joyous bewilderment.
I'm only poor politician. ! am
sound in business sense. have a
great deal Of money. more than you
can spend. Do you really love me.
sweetheart 1t isn't just pity for q
political outcast?"
IAN outcast?" she said. scornfully.
II call him a hero"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
Not Like canute.

At the Acorn Club in Philadelphia
. young lady was praising the wit Of
the late Bishop Mackay Smith.
"He always had pun ready" she
said, smiling pensively. II remember
meeting him once in Broad street sta.
ton. was on the way to Florida ut
the time, and said:
"'Will 1t be very wrong, bishop, for
me to battle on Sunday in tho Atlantic
of Palm Beach,?
"'The Atlantic of Palm Beach r
said he. That. fear, is q see over
which I have no Jurisdiction"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
Ono Leg on tho Ground Always,

w
In 1872 Gov. Leland Stanford Of
California had an argument, which
ended in a bet. with friend, wheth-
er horse ever has four legs of the
ground at the same moment while
running.
Eudweard Maybridge, an English.
man and a photographer. had become
interested and put up twenty-four
cameras on the race track, so ar
ranged that the horse would have to
break the strings. The individual
pictures were all Of even size. He
pasted these together. then used the
toy known as "zeotrope," and 1t was
found that all four feet never leave
the ground except in jumping-By
the Narrator.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
Rare Gift for Mrs. Tat.

Among the strange gifts Mrs. Taft
has received are several sacred tea
plants from the garden of the Bud.
dhist priests in Ceylon. The plants
were sent to the Secretary of Agricul.
ture, who will have them cared for In
the tea farms Of the Carolinas, which
are under the supervision of the de.
partment
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
Didn't Need Il,

DIDN'T Need I&
Redd-Do you believe In this GUS
tom Of breaking bottle Of champagne
over the bow of a new ship?
Greene-I certainly do. It brings
good luck to tho ship.
"Well, I know Of one vessel where
they never broke any wine over her
bow and she made q very successful
voyage"
Name the vessel, pleasef'
1.-THE Ark"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
Her Claims to Eama.

Rising Author-Ah, Miss Porking.
ham. you little know the glory, the
dissatisfaction, the pride one feels
in having ones name brought before
the public mind!
Miss Porkingham "a Chicago
beauty)-Well, you bet do! Why.
pape has named patent ham and his
best brand Of lard after me.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
wom.n,s Fine AppIe orch.,a

Miss Elizabeth NJ Hayward Is the
manager Of one of the largest apple
orchards in this country. The orchard
10 situated near Hancock. N. H.. and
IL owned by Miss Hayward's father.
who managed 1t himself until a few
years ago. when because Of his illness
the work fell to his daughter The
farm comprises 1000 acres and there
are upward Of 10000 bearing trees in
the orchard At the recent New Eng.
land fruit show Miss Hayward won
several first prizes In addition to her
orchard Miss Hayward keeps from
5000 to 5000 hens.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
More Mirror superstltlons.


It is not only in Greece that mir
ror superstitions survive. English
folk still adhere to the belief that to
break mirror il to insure seven years
pf i'll luck; in Scotland the same calam-
lty is regarded as portent Of death.
In the southwestern counties It is
considered unlucky for bride to look
In a mirror on her wedding day-but
the superstition must be strong In.
deed to prevent a woman taking "one
last look at herself In the glass on
that most important occasion Some
folk, too. cover over all mirrors in the
presence of death. and believe that
anyone looking in glass in house
where a dead man lies will zee the
dead person looking over the shoulder.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
The eoston courtshIu.

TU0 60BIOU VOVTtUTOp.
II think | could make you happy"
be averred.
I'VE are not here to be happy" she
explained I'VE are here to fultiu
missions"
Then consider me a. yours"
1t was upon this basis that they
become engaged.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
Wanted 70 Be Helpful.

Wanted TO Be Helpful.
Elderly Bachelor-Mrs. Burnside.
will you marry me?
Attractive Widow-Mr. Wackford,
are you forgetting that have six chill
dren?
Elderly Bachelor-Not at all. /
want to help you train up those young
Bters-darn 'em.-Chicago Tribune.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
Executions,

Exceptions.
skipping the rope is very danger.
Gus practice to the health"
mot to a convicted murderer with q
smart lawyer"
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1912-03-30
Didn't Appreciate II

Didn't Appreciate Il.
Mrs. Peck-Really, we never know
who our best friends are.
Peck-That's true. There's the fol-
low won you away from. He hasn't
spoken to me since
The daily star-mirror. (Moscow, Idaho) 1911-1939, 1912-10-16
Barton Gets Land.

The Lewiston land office was, yes
terday notified by the general land Of
flee at Washington that The decision
handed down last July in the case OF
the United States VS.. Earl d. Barton,
involving homestead entry in the
Dent section, by which the register
and receiver in Lewiston recommend
ed the dismissal Of the contest and
the granting of final papers to Barton,
had been affirmed. The contest suit
was instituted against Barton at the
instance of special agents Of the in
terror department, the allegations be-
ing that he had failed to establish and
maintain residence on the land the
required length of time; that he had
failed to cultivate the land, and that
his entry was made for speculative
purposes.