Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1912-06-11

perors. They seem to look with scorn
at the suburban engines snorting and
grunting and shaking the arched
roof with their plebeian choo.choo as
they puff from shop to cottage and
back
The trainmen take their cue from
the behavior of thch locomotives. The
conductor Of a transcontinental mods
to the conductor of shuttle-train
with less cordiality than to a brake
man of his own. The engineers OF
the limiteds look like senate rs in
overalls. They are far-traveled men,
leading a mighty life OF adventure.
They are pilots of land-ships across
land-oceans. They have right to a
certain condescension of manner.
But no one feels or shows SO much
arrogance as the sleeping car porters.
They cannot pronounce "supercili-
ous," but they can be it. Their dis
dain for the entire crew of any traip
that carries merely day-coa ches or
half-baked chair.cars, is expressed as
only darkey in uniform can ex-
press disdain for poor white trash.
OF all the naughty pcrters that ever
curled lip. the haughtiest by far
was the dusky attendant in the San
Francisco sleeper on the Trans-Amer-
ican Limited. His was the train Of
trains in that whole system. His car
the car of cars. His passengers the
| surpassengers of all.
His train stood now waiting to set
forth upon voyage of two thousand
miles, a journey across seven imperial
states, a journey that should end only
at that marge where the continent
dips and vanishes under the breakers
Of the Pacific ocean.
At the head of his car, with his lit
tie box-step waiting for the foot Of
the first arrival, the porter stood, his
head swelling under his cap. his
breast swelling beneath his blue
blouse. with its brass buttons like
reflections of his own eyes. His name
was Ellsworth Jefferson, but he was
called anything from "Poarrturr' to
"Pawtah," and he usually did not
come when he was called.
Tonight he was wondering perhaps
what passengers, with what DISPOSE
tions, would fall to his lot Perhaps
he was wondering what his Chicago
sweetheart would be doing in the
eight days before his return Per
haps he was wondering what his San
Francisco sweetheart had been doing
In hi eiv ho Lea
how she would pass the three days
that must intervene before he
reached her again.
He had Othello's ebon color. Did
he have Othello's green eye?
Whatever his thoughts, he chatted
gaily enough with his neighbor and
colleague of the Portland sleeper.
Suddenly he stopped in the midst
of a soaring chuckle.
'Lordy, man, looky what's a.com-
I'M
The Portland porter turned to gaze.
Il got my fingers crossed"
Il hope you git him."
II hope | don't"
He'll work you hard and cuss you
out. and he won't give you even
Much Obliged"
That's right. He amt got usher
to carry his things. And he's got
enough to fill van
The oncomer was plainly Of Eng.
lish origin 1t takes all sorts of peo-
pie to make up the British Empire.
and there is no sort Neutrality-suspicious.
or pretty, or sour or sweet. But this
was the type Of English globe-trotter
that makes himself as unpopular
among foreigners as he is among his
own people. He Is almost as unen-
durable as the Americans abroad who
twang their banjo brag through Eu-
rope. and berate France and Italy for
their innocence of buckwheat cakes.
The two porters regarded Mr.. Har.
old Wedgewood with dread. as he
bore down on them. He was almost
lost in the plethora of his own lug.
gage He asked for the San Fran.
cisco sleeper, and the Portland porter
had to turn away to smother his CUR.
Cling relief.
Ellsworth Jefferson's heart sank.
He made feeble effort at selfpro-
lection. The Pullman conductor not
being present at the moment, he in
CURED:
Have you got 20 ticket?"
"Of cawse."
Gould I see IT."
"Of cawse not Too much trouble
to fish 1t out"
The porter was fading. do you
remember yo' numba?"
"Of cawse. Take these" He began
to pile things on the porter like a
mountain unloading an avalanche.
The porter stumbled as he clambered
up the steps. and squeezed thro ugh
the strait path of the corridor into
the slender aisle. He turned again
and again to question the invader.
but he was motioned and hunted
down the car. till he was halted with
q This will do"
The Englishman selected section
three for his own. The porter Ven.
tured: Are you sho' this is yo' num-
BAT"
"Of cawse I'm shaw. How dare you
question my"
II wasn't. questionin' you, boss I
was just astin' YOU
He resigned himself to the despot.
and began to transfer his burdens to
the seat. But he did nothing to the
satisfaction Of the Englishman. Every
thing must be placed otherwise; the