The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1912-05-29
SCOOP c. 0. P.
] ON CONVENTION
Chicago Press Club Holds Repub-
lican National Gathering
Month in Advance
ALL CANDIDATES ON THE
STAGE, EVEN THE HOUN'
Roosevelt Not q Candidate
Cannon Fights for Harmony
Suffragettes Nominate Relative
of Laura Jean Libbey

Vi AS00h o JCdI ASAVUCy
Il CHICAGO. May 25.--The Chicaa o
Press club tonight "scooped' the re-
I publican party by holding the national
I convention almost month in adj
4 vance of the set time for it. The con-
vention was held in downtown the
alter before large audience
+ Taft, Roosevelt, La Toilette, Cam
non, Champ Clark, Wilson, Hearst
and even Clark's celebrated "houn
dawg' were on the stage. About 1850
persons took part in the performance
The burlesque was in one act, it hav-
would present lin one act the many
screaming acts of the political leaders
of the day
The curtain rose on a convention
4 scene, with the temporary chairman,
newspaper men. telegraph operators
and several delegations in their
places. A few seconds later the New
York delegation entered They car
ried banners inscribed Jim Jeffries
i Thought So, Too and 1--WE Are afor
4 Big Built Aft" The lone Roosevelt
delegate was. tied and blind-folded.
| Roosevelt Not a Candidate
| Roosevelt clad in a cowboy outfit
! followed quickly. After exclaiming
| Liars he threw his hat into the
ring on the stage and threw another
hat into it. In snappy sentences he
! explained he was not a candidate for
the nomination and that if he ac-
cepted 1t he would have to force HIM
self to do so.
II have gone all over the country
trying to stop this movement" he
declared.
Roosevelt having retired. La Fol-
lette and the Wisconsin delegation APP
peared After kicking Roosevelt's hat
Tout of the ring. La Toilette an
nounced his platform, bearing greatly
on the Wisconsin income tax, which,
he declared, gave men with large
families large tax exemptions
eff a man has IL children, Rooss-
welt pays him compliment; La Fol-
lette pays him bonus" said the
speaker.
A message arrived for Roosevelt.
and upon being pa ged, he decided he
had been nominated so he re-entered
the convention and began to thank its
members for the great honor they had
thrust upon him. Informed of his
error, he replaced his hat in the ring
and then departed.
Cannon Fighting for Harmony
Amid great disorder Cannon rushed
, into the convention, pushed the .ern-
porary chairman from the platform
, and took up the gaval.
I'VE must have harmony" he
shouted, "even if we have to fight
for it,
The Ohio delegation arrived with
; President Taft. He gave Roosevelt
, hat the customary kick and made a
, speech.
81 am against the recall he said.
81 am especially opposed to the recall
' of a president after he is out. / End
M in 10 I'M a
out agin', in agin business, and the
. constitution must be preserved.
. don't want to move. T nope every
man who had to move May 1 Will
vote for me-
Champ Clark and the "Dawg''
Champ Clark and his "dawg" fol-
lowed the next arrivals, the divided
Missouri delegation The dog kicked
the hat from the ring and for the in
: suit suffered several kicks from
: Roosevelt who replaced the hat. In
quiry as to what Clark was doing II
a republican convention brought the
reply that he wanted to obtain some
pointers from the Roosevelt faction
: on how to run the Baltimore gather
> ing.
Both Governor Wilson and Hearst,
who appeared after Clark, knock ed
the hat cut of the ring with the re-
suit that Roosevelt first glued it down
and later put a brick under 1t.
Eventually, Taft kicked the brick
Sufragetes Take Part
While the nominating speeches
were being made a militant suffrag get
stormed the convention and began to
assail the various politicians present.
: She took Taft to task for never hav-
: ing written any Dear Maria" letters;
Roosevelt because he wanted he
hand that rocked the cradle to work
|, overtime; La Toilette for his hair,
which she alleged, was false; Clark
for calling himself speaker of the
, house in defiance Of the well-knowr
/ fact that a woman always has been
/ the rightful owner OF that title; Will
son for wearing a cap and gown, thus
robbing woman of her rights, and
Hearst for having asserted he was d
columns have been 1lled by women
; writer's
The suffraget placed in nomination
, a newspaper woman who gives advice
to sentimental people regarding az
fairs Of the heart The speaker de-
clared her candidate had exposed
: more crooked men than the Sherman
, law.
The vote on Taft. Roosevelt and La
Toilette resulted in q tie, each re-
ceiving $50 votes. Cannon announced
that the man whose friends made the
most noise would he declared the
nominee. In the bedlam which fol-
lowed all of the delegates shouted FOR
all of the candidates and the convea-
ton was adjourned without a choice
having been expressed