The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1912-12-03
tRhamkatte ROaster.l

(Rhamkatte Roaster.p
Mister Editore. deer Sur:
l war aWl thru the mountings en-
durin' ov the past fl daz, albumin
OK turky gobblers fer the Thanksguv-
IN markit, and | gethered togedder a
rite smart passul ov EN-, and war cut
tin in acrost down below Ashvul in
Bunchum county. a-razin ov a purity
peert dust, when | seed d clowd on
dust away down yander, and | SCI,
SEE [, thar, now b'gosh, thar he an
luther turky drove a-comin', ez shore ez
| be bOrned, n | begun ter take steps
to keep mine and his'n frum sittin'
aW1 mixed up soZe W. couldn't tell one
from fodder. l druve EN- oft to one
side on a trail, drapped down sum
corn. and run back to the rode to
see the drove pass.
But bless yore sole, hit warn't no
turky outfit a tall, but a passul ov
men, awl dusty and tarred and wore
eileen to a frazzul. They toted their
cotes on their arms and neerly evry
one kerried a, poke slung to a stick
acrost his shoulder. What hit me wuZ
tibet tarred as they scanned, they kept
a purity brisk step and war stra!nin'
their eye balls lookin' ahed. A fu
had their lungs hung out like a steer
and wuz a BLOWN like a tizisked boss.
l Wuz thet 1ustered I couldn't git my
o"A ALI ~ W. tl1A S0II1 Wv N11O1li
had past me, but correctly when a fell
Ter walkin' sorter on the aidge ov the
possession cum by, I asst him what fer
crowd hit ~uz.
SEE I, Air the hookwurm doctors a
holdin' OF a meetin' up the rode?
He stopped, throwed down his cote,
taken off his poke and got out a piece
CIV this heer beloneF Sassidge and bit
off a whelt.
No, SEE he, hit hain't no hookwurm
bizness.
Wall, seq I,mebhe thar be a airship
at AshvuL
No, seq he, chawin' on his sassidge
thar be no alligator goin' to fy.
Then, SEE I, hit must be thet Ash
vul has went wet agin.
No, he sez,po wetter then common
Wall, by gum, nabor, what in tar
naShun is takin' awl yeW foxes up thi:
heer rode? I asst him.
We be gwine to see Locke Craig
seq he.
My shockins alive, I busted out
shore. and hain't yew never see6
Locke Craig afore? l thowt evrS
man, womin and chile in North Ca
liner had seed him.
Vas, he SEE, we have seed him afore
but not sincet the elecshun. He:
been made gunner sincet We seed hin
last.
AL, SEE /, l dOn SpoSe ne iook!
no diffrunt then he did afore he WI:
made gunner. do he?
In corse not. SEE ne. but my frien
= he SEE, gittin' elected guvner gives hin
, a anc to reward his friends. ane
, awl ov US hoped him kerry the state
and we be on our way to visit will
him.
Rite then, Mister Editore, a graf
lite broke on me, so to speak. | WI
Mum illuminated Thief hoy on tn
burnin' deck never hao no more blaz
around him then me. | see, seq |,
see, ov corse. but what do yew aw
want?
We air not like sum peepul. he seq
we hain't pertickler. We air perfec
willing to Ieeve hit to Mister Craig.
But, SEE l. air thar enuH offiees I
ackomYdate awl this heer delegation
This is a powful corpse of men.
8 He seq. the boss thet pulls the ploy
1 orter git the fodder seq he: and | sho'
WIZ 2 pair ov HOSES fer Lock Craig
pillow.
And after he had ct a bait ov DO
Ioner sassidge, he taken UP his marc
: aein. n eZ he went over the hill n
wuz singin'. on the tother SIDE Q
. urdun in the sweet fields Ov Ede-
thar air rest fer the weary, thar b
rest fer me. And | kin see en- rest
- in on Gunner Craig's front yard gras
trompin hit to deth. and a-litterin' u
his premises with meat skins, bone
n and SIGH like.
Wall I cum on down about q mil
and awI to oncet q profane outbJst q
F, ,enruinN. nan-size cussin tore out Q
one side OK the rode. and skeered II
gobblers powful, and when | invest
V gated. [ seed The purtties fist tite {
tui,t two fellers ! have saw II III