davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
HUMOR OF the DAY
A Close Shave.

A blue grass judge was sent up 10
the Kentucky mountains to try lot
of murder cases growing out of u
desperate and bloody feud. fle took
with him as his official stenographer y
young man named wilkins, who dress
ed nattily and, in strong contrast to
the silent mountaineers did quite Il
good deal OF talking
On his first Sunday morning IN The
mountain hamlet wilkins felt the need
of shave. He had no razor, and there
was no regular barber in town, but he
learned from the hotelkeeper that
there was an old cobber few doors
away who sometimes shaved the tran
sients
wilkins went to look for the cobbler
In tiny shop he found M elderly na
tive with straggly chin whiskers anu
mild blue eye The old chap got
out an ancient razor from somewhere
stropped it deliberately and was soon
scraping away. wilkins felt the de
sire for little repartee coming over
him.
This is mighty lawless country
up here, amt IT." he began In the way
Of opening up some conversation.
81 don't know" said the old chap
mildly. "Thiugs is purity quiet ist at
present"
He paused to put keener edge on
his blade, then went on with his work
"Well," said wilkins. you can't
deny, reckon, that you have lot OF
murders In this town."
eve don't gin'raIly speak Of EN- as
murders" said the old cobbler in a
tone of gentle reproof up here we
calls 'em klllln's."
I'D call them murders all right
said wilkins brlskIy IF shooting a
man down In cold blood amt murder
then | don't know murder when !
see one, that's all. When was the
last man killed, as you call 1t, here IN
this town.
Last week." said the venerable cob
bier
whereabouts was he kIlled2" contin.
ued wilkins.
Right out yonder in the street in
front of this here shop" stated the old
man, with the air Of one desiring to
turn the conversation Razor hurt you
muchT
'The razor is all right" said VIII
kins. what | want to know is the
truth about the killing Of this last man
Who killed hlmY" he demanded
The cobbler let the edge OF the razor
llnger right over the Adams apple OF
the inquiring stranger for moment.
II killed him. he said gently
There was where the conversation
began to languish.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
TIMELY HINTS
FOR FARMERS
Tribute Paid Kinu Friction.

correspondent writing the Farm
Implement News says that the farmer
pays each year direct tax Of close TO
10 cents on the dollar on every ma,
chine In use upon the farm. He says
this is the tribute the American farmer
is paying to King Friction. He goes on
to say thar this tribute is paid on &C
count OF the lack Of proper Oiling or
the use Of the wrong kind of oil. He
says ii is the part of the dealer-the
man who sells the machlne-to caution
the buyer with reference TO the neces-
sity Of Oiling aud 10 prescribe specific
ally the kind Of Oil to be used. Human
skill has not been able to overcome
friction, In every bearing there is fric-
ton. The use to which the machine Is
put is governing factor, in the kind Of
oil to he used, and he says these are
points that should he explained and
made thoroughly clear to the purchaser
when the machine leaves the dealers
hand.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
WHAT the MAN
REALLY WANTED
Hotel Keeper EnIIghtens a Pro-
spsGtiVs Guest.

Dan sully. the ex-cotton king, was
talking on the piazza of his hotel at
Watch Hill, Il. T., about matrimony.
"You can easily tell. he said, "wheth-
er or not Il man Is happily married"
"How can you tell?" a guest de-
manded.
"Well, for instance" said Sully,
"there was a chap came here from New
York in June to engage a room for him
self. 4 want only a small ROOM he
said, for the month Of August, while
my wife is travelling in Europe.
80 | showed him a small room. but
he said: No; my wife wouldn't care
about this, A good view. you know,
isn't essential. Haven't you something
cheaper
81 showed him a smaller, cheaper
room, but he shook his head
any wife, he explained, doesn't
think ! need to be on one of the parlor
floors Haven't you got an attic room?'
Il showed him the cheapest, small
est room In the house.
"'How much is this room?' he asked.
81 mentioned a very low rate.
"'Oh. dear, he said, frowning, my
wife thinks ought to get room for
half that
Then looked the poor little chap
right in the eye.
See here said /, you don't want a
room. No, street What you want Is a
divorce"
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
A FARM AT YOUR OWN PRICE

A client of ours owns the NEi OF
section 81 township 4 ~, range %,
q, G. NJ, being 2h miles west OF
Beaver City, and is compelled to dis
pose OF 1t to protect other interests
lie has decided to sell it to the high
est bidder on the following terms:
Buyer assume a $4,000 mortgage
now on the place which may run to
June, 1916, the balance of the pur-
chase price cash. Go and see the
place, then mail us a bid, or deliver
It to our Office in person, with the no
tation on envelopes: IBID for farm"
and your name and address. All
bids will be opened at our Office at
100 O'Clock p. NJ, Nov /, 1912.
This is a good piece OF land with 60
acres in cultivation. Go and see it or
come to our Office and we will take
you out.
LAWSON & WRIGHT,
Beaver, Okla.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15

More half grown turkeys die from
lice than from any other one cause.
Fowl diseases are caused by foul
cOopS aud drinking vessels Foul yards
are great sources Of disease among
poultry
II the poultry refuses to go into the
roasting house ut night, look for the
little insects that make their lives mis-
cradle
To get good price for eggs they
must he clean as well as fresh, but no
one wants eggs that have been washed
They don't look right.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
The London Barber.

District Attorney Whitman of New
York city, apropos of the Rosenthal
case. compared Q bungling detectives
methods to a London barber.
you know the London barber?" said
the district attorney. "lu lathering
your face he makes no effort to steer
clear of your mouth. He slaps on the
lather without any idea Of keeping
your lips clean. You must compress
them tight against that white storm,
and even then.
II once saw an American In Bond
street barber shop dig pint of solid
white lather out Of his mouth with
towel Then he said in a strangled
voice:
"'You needn't bother to clean my
teeth for me, old man."
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
lns and Outs of Flying.

Orvllle Wright was condemnlng at
picnic near Dayton crank type of
mOnOplane.
"Thls machine isn't safe" he said
"and in flying safety is, above all
things, the essential.
Its machines of this type that give
rise to such a dialogue as | once heard
In New York hotel between two
young milllonaires.
"'Ever go in for hying?' said the
first.
Eyes, once the other answered.
"'How did you come out?'
"On a pair of silver mounted
crutches five months later"
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
The Valuable silo.

When more silos are built and less
OF the corn plant is wasted the cost OF
feeding will be reduced Dry corn
stalks in the field Indicate waste,
which sooner or later leads to power
y. We are told that there is 40 per
cent of the feeding value Of the corn
plant in the stalk, or, stated in anoth-
er way, when one puts corn in the sllo
be saves 40 per cent, Of the feeding
value of the corn plant Add 40 per
cent Of the value Of the corn crop OF
the southwest to its present value and
see what an enormous loss we have
been sustaining annually. Let us
build more silos. Farm and Ranch.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
Poultrv ON the Farm.

Farmers ought all to keep pure bred
poultry and become real poultry fan
ciers. with benefit to themselves 1t Is
too late in the day to put forth any argu'
ments about the advantages Of well
bred poultry Every progressive farm
err knows that pure bred poultry must
be better than the common kind The
reason all farmers do not keep really
we'll bred poultry is that so many OF
them are engrossed In other branches
Of their business and give the poultry
rather less time than they should.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
Question For pairymsn.

What scrub or mongrel COW has ever
made high record as producer even
under the most skillfnl feeding?
What herd of mongrel cows Is max
ing money out OF high priced feed?
What dairyman is buying more land
or putting up better buildings or max
ing himself richer man and a better
furmer with scrub cattle?
What has made productive cows,
prosperous dairymen and progressive
communities
Dairy blood. National Stockman,
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15

A market the year around for
butter, eggs, poultry and hides at
the highest market prices, at the
Liberal Cold Storage plant. Bring
them to us and get the cash for
them. Soft
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15

while England adheres to the absurd
and cumbrous table Of pounds, shil-
lings and pence" Rap-rap-rap.
The raps were for the lawyer, who
remained absorbed in his own CONVEX
satlon. "And even farthings,' contlnu-
ed the ironmaster-"is there anything
else In finance so ridiculous as the
farthlng% Rap-rap.
The lawyer glanced around some
what impatiently.
"Judge g." Mr. Carnegie called out,
"why do the British continue their
coinage Of farthings%
ITO enable the Scotch to practice
benevolence, Mr. Carnegie" returned
the lawyer-Success Magazine.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
Farm Wisdom.

A little bad cream will spoil a whole
churnful OF butter.
Economical gains are worth more
than larger gains that are made with
out regard to cost.
The machinery that is left unprotect'
ed at any time Of the year is the ma
:hinery that gives out just when 1t Is
needed most.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
Its Uses.

Now, this portable garage" began
the salesman.
Il see the advantages" interrupted
the prospective customer. when the
machine stalls can haul the garage
out and cover it up. What are they
worth T"-Loulsvllle Courier. Journal.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
These College Girls.

Maude was home from college,
"Wlll you" she said to her mother,
pass me my diminutive argenteous
truncated cone, convex on its summit
and semiperforated with symmetrical
lndentations?
She was asking for her thimble.--
New York Journal.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15

The Glen Falls Fire insurance
Company none better-few as good,
is represented in Liberal by Light &
Stoufer If you are not insured or
If your present policy is about to ex-
pire call on them and have them tell
you about the Glen Falls.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
Her Dilemma.

Mr.. Asklt = And how do you like
keeping diary?
Miss Gabbelgh-oh, it keeps me so
busy writing about what have been
doing that do not have any time to
do anything to write about Baltimore
American.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
Does Seem Cold.

Gosh, this New York society Is cold
blooded," declared the man who had
broken in from the west
How now?"
IAN overnight visitor at my house
fell over a chair and barked his shin. J
hear now he has consulted a lawyer as
to the liability of host for accident to
guest" Pittsburgh Gazette.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
A Stole.

Now, remember Willie, it hurts me
more than you" said his father.
well, fer an ordinary human being,
you can stand more punishment with
out yellln' than anybody ! ever saw
New Orleans Times Democrat.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
Wanted Help.

Visitor What is that1
Ghost-I am the Count Ulrich, build.
er Of this castle!
Ylsitor-Fine Tell me, then, where
the bathroom ls.-Lustige Batter
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
These Girls of Ours.

81 tell you, Mr.. MeeEer, you're awful
poplar with our hired girl"
How is that, Tommy"
why. whenever you send flowers to
sis she always gives 'em to jane
Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
new TALES
THAT ARE TOLD
Small Chance.

At the recent dinner given by An
drew Carnegie an eminent lawyer
seated halfway down the table was
deeply immersed in conversation will
his neighbor when the host opened uE
the subject Of the British coinage sys
TEN and showed signs Of wishing un
divided attention.
"Every other civilized nation" he de
.lalmed, "has the decimal system
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
Perhaps.

Mrs. Jones-My dear, dead husband
never complained of my cooking.
Mr.. Jones ther second venturel-Per.
haps that's why he's your dear, dead
husband. Philadelphia Telegraph.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
Not ouit. WHAT He Meant.

The Host = It's beginning to rain.
You'd better stay to dinner
The Guest-oh, thanks very much
but It's not bad enough for that =
Sketch.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
sAnnLES--SADDLES

Our stock has just arrived
regular Pueblo styles. Drop around
on Second street and look over a
nice. new, clean, up-to-date line
LIBERAL HARNESS co.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15

She What singular chin Mrs Fat
leigh has
He-slngular! | should call It plu.
raj. Boston Transcript.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
sTRAYEn

A big gray mare strayed to my
place Saturday evening. Three miles
southwest OF Liberal.
A. MCKEE.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
TAKEN UP

One yearling spotted heifer. In
the north part Of Liberal.
A. T. BARSSDALE
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
NOTICE TO FARMERS

have purchased a good corn
Smelling outfit and | am now pre-
pared to do your Smelling. Liberal
Route 4. Phone 4 rings on line 285
10 "a 2tp j. f. Lofland
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15
EnR SALE

1875 head good yearling and two
year old steers
FRED B. HULLETT.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-11-15

Bring your butter, eggs, poultry
and cream to us and get the cash
for them. Liberal Cold Storage
Co. 8-5-tf
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1912-01-31
ORIGIN of the Stocking.

A writer in French newspaper has
been investigating the origin Of stock.
ings. 1t appears that Henry II. when
preparing for the marriage of his sis
ter in 1859 first conceived the idea of
silk hose, and was the first to wear
silk knitted STOCKINGS at that epoch.
making event. A hundred years later
one Hindres established a factory fol-
stockings in the Bois de Boulogne
This was the first hosiery factory in
France. It was a success at the start
and. when it received protection from
the then ministers, It was a kind OF
gold mine. In 1868 the venture was
turned into company. From it arose
''the Society Of Silk Stocking Makers.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1912-01-31


A law student is not entitled to a.
diploma until he can properly pro-
nounce the word claw" 1t is impor-
tant. It is perhaps the most impor-
rant of all, vastly more so than
kn~vledge of Blackstone
Il is impossible to write or print the
5ord claw" as a good lawyer pro-
nounces it. Type as large as a news
oaper headline, italicized and triply
underscored, might approximate the
required Importance, but it could give
no fair idea of the Loving reverence,
the respectful obesience, the authori-
tative awfuluess, the thunderbolt final
tv and the unctuous resonance with
which all good lawyers scatter this
word about a courtroom.
such and such is the Law" ne
announces stentoriously, perhaps hold
ing up a calf-bound book or shaking a
belligerent fist as if ready to stand
upon the law and fight the world. the
flesh and the devil. The mere fac. thai
opposing counsel two minutes later
proves that such and such is not the
law and never was the law, abates not
one lot his enthusiasm for the word
In an instant or two he is at it again
crowding as much mighty majesty
into these three letters as vocal cords
can fashion.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1912-01-31
WIILOUCHBY.

Frank Kimball, Jr., was home over
Sunday.
Our station agent, Mr.. Sheldon,
spent Sunday in Orleans.
Harley Chappell of West Burke
was in town over Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Henry Hunt were in
Burke Saturday on business.
Miss Myrtle Kimball spent Sunday
with her father and mother here.
Mrs. Mary Gray. who has been sick
for the past four weeks, is better.
Mr.. and Mrs. P. H. Duke visited
their relatives in Lyndonville over
Sunday.
Miss Eta Folsom was home over
Sunday to see her mother, who has
been sick.
Harry Morse has moved his family
to Barton where he will be near his
fish business.
Mrs. Annie Goslant. who has beer
caring for her sister, Mrs. Gray, has
returned home.
Mrs. o. C. Abbott has returned
home from Lyndonville, where she
has been helping her brother.
The good news has been received
from Glib Folsom that he is recover
ing from his sickness at Randolph
sanitarium.
This community was saddened tt
learn on the goth inst that one of the
oldest and most respected citizens hat
passed away. For many years Johr
Forrest has made his home here. il
fact all his long life has been spen
within few miles of this place. H
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1912-01-31
Ancient Roman Long Branch.

The sea coast of Laurentum may
have been in favor with the fashion
able and the wealthy for a brief
space of time under Augustus and his
immediate successors, but was given
up quite soon to parvelsdes and mer-
chants and retired officers, and the
same set of noisy people who haunt at
the present day the popular watering
places of the world. To make the
analogy more striking, an inscription
has been found at La Capocotta sing
ing the praises of wealthy Jew, ant
revealing the fact that a synagogue
had been built at Ostia for the use O
| the Semitic "villeggianti'' on tn,
neighboring coast.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1912-01-31
GOODBY TO CATARRH
Use Mentholatum and See How Quickly
You are Cured.

No other disease is as disagreeable and
offensive as catarrh and yet it is easily and
quickly cured by the right treatment.
Mentholatum, an antiseptic and healing
preparation that kills catarrhal germs and
soothes and heals the irritated mucous
mem brane.
No vaporizer nor inhaler is needed wit b
this simple treat ent. Apply a little at
night in the nasal passages and 1t cures
while you sleep. 1t is made from healing
herbs, combined with antiseptics that kill
the catarrhal germ, gives quick relief and
prevents further spread Of the dis
Get rs cent jar of MeDtho,atu m from
your druggist and see now quickly " will
give relief in catarrhal tr' H. :. Money
back il 1t does not give portrc, satisfaction.
Unequaled for all aches, prins tad Infam-
nation of any kind.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1912-01-31
Five Minutes
Sourness, Gas, Heartburn and
Stomach Distress Will Disappear

Distress after eating, sourness, gas
and heartburn can be quickly relieved
by taking one or two MONA stom-
ach tablets.
They're guaranteed to Danish any
case of Indigestion, acute or chronic
stomach aiiment no matter what it is
called, or money back.
MI O Ma stomach tablets are small
and easily swallowed. They are sold
by F. D. Pierce and druggists every
where for SOC box. They are put
up in neat ms tai box that can con-
veniently be carried in the vest peck
ct. They are especially recommend
ed for nervousness, sleeplessness
bad dreams, constipation, dizzine s.
and bi'iousness.
Sold and guaranteed in Orleans by
F. ]. Kinney.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1912-01-31
The Plain Truth
What More Can Barton People Ask?

What More Can Barton People Ask?
When well-known residents and
highly respected people of Barton
make such statements as the follow
ing, it must carry conviction to every
reader:
Mrs. William Cobb, 10 Prospect
St., Barton, says: 81 suffered from
badly disor dered kidneys, I had in
together with soreness through my
loins and did not sleep yell, getting
up in the morning feeling more tired
than when | went to bed, | was also
subject to headaches and dizzy spells
and everything seemed to be whirl-
ing before me. Several of my neigh
bors had used Doan's Kidney Pills
with good results and deciding to try
them ! obtained box at Barron Co.'S
drug store. By the time l had taken
half the contents had improved and
gradually the symptoms of my troub-
lie disappeared. l owe my present
health entirely to Doan's Kidney
Pills." Statement given September
4, 1908 }
A LATER ENDORSEMENT
On June 5, 1911, when Mrs. Cobb
was interviewed, she said: can CON
firm my former statement regarding
Doan's Kidney Pills. l have u.s. d
them occasionally since 1908 and tn
results have been very satisfactory ,
For sale by all dealers Price 81
cents. Foster Milburn Co., Buff lIo
New York, sole agents for the Unitec
Stafes.
Remember the name-Doan's--anG
take no other.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1912-01-31
Rus in urhe.

A Springfield, Mo-, man, describing
his experience in New York, says: Il
got on street cars two or three differ.
ent times and told the conductors the
names of friends ,long the line that
wanted to visit. and blame me ii
they could tell me where any of them
ived!'-Kansas City Times.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1912-01-31

was born April IS. 1881, in the edge
of Sutton, but early moved here and
has been one of it's leading citizens.
For about year he has been gradually
failing and passed quietly away after
being i'll about two weeks at the home
of his daughter, Mrs. P. H. Duke, Jan.
20. John Forrest married Abigail
Downing Nov. 20, 1849. He was the
father of six children, three of whom
are living, namely, John L. Forrest
of Warren, Maine, Mrs. P. H. Duke
and Mrs F. j. Duke of this place.
A most rugged, energetic and resolute
man, he was capable of doing the work
of two men, was indus trious, accOmmo-
dating, ready to help in sickness and
did many acts of kindness to the poor
and unfortunate. Many years ago he
received license to preach and joined
thirty years he gave, largely without
pay, his services to communities that
were destitute of church privileges.
He preached at this place, Albany.
| Newark, East Bloomington, Sheffield,
Westmore, Sutton and other places.
He would work hard all the week
days, study evenings, sometimes far
into the night and rise Sunday morn
ings, drive to his appointments, sell
dom missing them. do his work there,
return to his home and again take up
the duties needful for the support of
his family He was a natural speak
er, made the Bible q study and was
abe to repeat much OF it, which fact
enabled him to always give scripture
passages to confirm the doctrines he
presented. In this manner he did
much good and was himself blessed in
doing it. Five years ago his wife
died, since which time he has lived a
quiet life in his home, until one year
ago last April when his son and
daughter, Mr.. and Mrs. p. H. Duke,
moved here. Then he went into their
home and lived there until his death.
The funeral was held on Monday, Jan
22nd, Rev. w. A. Warner officiating
and the interment was in the Will
loughby cemetery.
Card Of Thanks-We, the under
; signed, desire to express through the
Monitor our thanks to the friends
and neighbors for their kindness ant
sympathy toward Us during the sick
, ness, death and burial of our dea
! one.
George Wheeler and family,
= P. H. Duke and family.
, Mrs. F. !. Duke and family.
f John L. Forrest and family.