The Winslow mail., 1912-04-13
The
Talking Cat
BY Lawrence Alfred Clay

tween Edward Chalmers and Irene
Hope, but there had been a sting or
two In the courtship. Neither one
would have admitted to an atom Of
1ealously In their makeup, but each
had betrayed it. The husband had
been popular young man, and the
wife had had many admirers. They
hadn't been Jealous enough to quarrel,
but the feeling had not been quite dis
sipated.
Before six months were up Mr..
Chalmers came homo from the insur-
ance ONCE where he worked. and
swore. He had been bullied by his
superior, and he said damn it," in
plain. unmistakable English. The
young wife ought to have realized as
a girl that there are times when all
men swear, and to have been prepared,
but 1t hit her a surprising blow. She
began to cry at once.
Mr.. Chalmers having arrived AZ tha
age of twenty-fOur and having bow
ing acquaintance with at least 20
women. ranging from old married
women to girls In short dresses,
should have realized that no wife cries
In order to irritate her husband. They
weep because the dressmaker disap-
pointed them, or because the latest
thing In hats doesn't become them.
They have been known to sob over the
erroneous idea that this is sad old
world. Mr. Chalmers wasn't posted
on this point, and therefore when the
wife wept he took 1t as a personal af-
front. He had been bullied at the
office, and now she was rubbing 1t in
on him at home.
All the rest of us could have
Strengthened things out In IL minutes
and then gone to the theater. but this
misunderstanding hung on. There
were dinner and tears and mental
oaths, and romance Jumped the fence
and disappeared IN the bushes. Things
might have changed for the better
next day but for the god Of chance.
The wife went to the butchers to or
der meat. and on the way met Jerry
Simpson.
Jerry was one Of her old admirers.
but the admiration was ali on his side.
At any other time he would have been
passed with q cold nod. Now it was
different. Mrs. Chalmers was mad at
her husband. She stopped and shook
hands with Jerry and told him how
glad she was to see him, and at the
end Of ten minutes she thought she
had done a smart thing.
At lunch hour, when Mr.. Chalmers
went out for bis bite, he met Miss
Gator. There was once a report that
they were engaged. At any rate, they
were pretty good friends. He was glad
to see her, because he knew that his
bride didn't like her bit. He was SO
glad that he asked her to lunch with
him, and the bill presented by the
waiter took his last nickel.
The Chalmers had a cat. She wasn't
anything to boast Of as a cat, but
good enough to begin housekeeping on.
Mr.. Chalmers entered the house
with his mind made up not to speak
first. All the husbands he had ever
talked with had told him that in case
Of family row the husband must hold
himself as stin as poker and make
the wife do the kneeling act. Mrs.
Chalmers had decided not to rush for
ward and greet him with a kiss. She
might look up as he entered, and If
encouraging she might smile. but be-
yond that 1t must be a mutual thing.
Only two weeks previously her mar
ried sister had solemnly said to her:
Irene, you and Ed will have quar-
rel some day.
"Never!"
TT may be your fault and it may be
his, but stand on your dignity. Don't
be the first to give in. II you do the
heel Of the tyrant will be on your neck
forever
Well, the tyrant was there with his
heel. Just let him try to put it on her
proud neck! For q moment he seemed
inclined to, and then turned to the
cat
We'll, pussy, it's been cool day,"
said Mr. Chalmers.
Yes, pussy, it has," said the wife.
Pussy, you can tell your mistress
that this looks like mighty poor din
ner for hungry man."
'And, pussy, you can tell your mas
Ter that he trotted of this morning
without leaving any market money"
1t wasn't the case of person talk
ing through his hat, but talking
through his cat. The feline stretched
and yawned and purred, and seemed
to say: "Oh. cut 1t out!" but she was
held to her job. That evening, for the
first time since his marriage, Mr..
Chalmers thought OF his lodge Be-
fore leaving the house he said to the
cat:
Pussy, | am going to my lodge to-
night, and / may not be home much
before midnight
And while Pussy closed her eyes
and didn't appear to care a cent
where he went or when he got back,