davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-01
A SERIOUS pRoPosIrIoN.

 ''Is you de s. P. C. A.?' asked the col- ored man with his arm in a sling. T am a member of the society,"" re- piled the earnest looking young man. Well, I wants to repo't my mule to you. has been arrested twice on his account an ain't zine to hab no mo words wifi i'm"
 Has anybody hurt him?' ''No, boss. But look at me. I has been kicked, tromped on an cussed in mule talk. If Is got to be kind to dat animal, I wants some understandin' dat will con- pei reciprocity or, at de very leas', arbi- tration. n."-Washington Star
 A PARLOUS STATE.
 Excuse me, please,
 I cannot laugh;
 My neighbours bought
 A photograph
 Of ragtime tunes
 He has a lot;
 I'll soon be dead,
 As like as not.
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-01
Compound words and Human Anatomy

My attention was recently called to the predominance of compound words m the vocabulary for describing eccentr,ci- ties of the human anatomy" said mem Der of the bar association.
 'Since then I have frequently Won dered why it is that there are so many features of the human body that cannot accurately be described unless a com- pound word is used. These words mus be the relics of early civilization when the human mind had not yet reached the point where it coined new words from foreign and dead languages to give the exact shades of meaning de- sired. Our ancestors found 1t easier Io combine two common words to describe their meaning than to invent new word. I sat down for a few moments this morning and jotted down some oi compound adjectives which can be ap-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-01
RINGING THE BELL

This rather clever little thought We captured on the wing: A pretty girl Is called a belle
 Because she's maid to ring. 2 Boston Transcript. A very clever little thought,
 And yet we're bound to say, Her tongue may prove clapper loud
 After the wedding day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-01
so MANY LIKE TREBLE.

oO nIzf4s I711Nr1 iitII51b1S
 'Tribble is a discontented fellow. l don't believe he even knows what he wants"
 ''Oh. yes He knows what he wants. What makes him discontented is the fact that he also knows he can't get It.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-01

A LAME EXCUSE. "Dibbs is the boss postponer of oul neighborhood." why so?''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-10-01

z E. Morgan and w. c. Wharton a.o the only authorized travelling represen tatives of The Age-Herald in HE ciiou lstion department
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10
POLITICAL PATENT
MEDICINE MEN
ARE REP. CRITICS
Concluded from Page One.)
Americans Tnoomnetent.

Americans Incompetent.
These extraordinary statements
appear to them, SO far as they mean
anything ineligible, either that
the American people are incompe.
tent. for aolf-goyernment, or that
they have created a governmental
machinery which, while in form
under popular control, is really man
aged by private and special interests.
Examine for a moment these alter
natives. If the American people arc
incompetent for sclf-government,
then it can make little difference
what programme we propose or what
candidates we adopt. Sooner or
later a people incompetent for self
government will pass under the heel
OF q despot. where they belong.
ut appears, on farther inquiry.
that what is really meant Ia that
government and ren.
rosentative Institutions are fail
ure, and that they must be swent
aside TO make way for direct demo-
crazy In particular, ii appears
that the most characteristic and
of American Institutions
the Independent judiciary charged
with the Interpretation Of the law
and with the safeguarding of constl-
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10
MAKES GOOD, HEALTHY FLESH
Paul &. Schulz & Sons Offer to Pay
For Sam0se IL il Fails.

Paul G. Schulz d Sons 0tfer to Fay
For Samose if it Fails.
Bcsia the use Of Samose today,
and you will soon notice a gain in
good hoalthy flesh 70 All VINO are
thin, weak aad run down, this re-
markabl desh forming food prom
Uses plump, rosy perfect health, yigor
and vitality.
Most people oat enough to become
fat the trouble is not lack Of food,
but lack Of assimilation power
Samose mingles with the food
shat is eaten, 50 that it is assimilat-
ed by the blood and builds up pleas
ing p!umpness and good healthy
desh. Those who use Samose for q
week Or ten days will soon notice a
cain in weight and an Improvement
in general strength and health,
Put good, solid flesh on your
bones, and You win be strong and
well In no other way can this bs
done than by the use Of samose. Ii
gives plumpncss and physical grace
To the thin and scrawny. ana viii
make you bright, rosy and normally
fat
Samoaa is tip tablet form, pleasant
D., fe1-. o,,J ip eoId IN rra 4F +Jr
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10

tho waa'}out in the drainaGo district
Il repaired have laid a temporary
switch track along Commercial ave
nuc. Probably three a l9ur hum
bred laborers viii be JaEcn care or
at the Commissary in the Furniture
Factory during the repairing or taa
track
Mr. and Mrs. Geo. snyder and
children Of Cairo were in the city
Tuesday visiting relatives.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10
Why He Vas Late.

"What made you SO late?'
~ met Smithson."
well, that is no reason why you
should be an hour late getting home
TO supper"
Il know, but I asked him how he
was feeling, and he insisted on tell
ing me about his stomach trouble
Did you tell him to take Cham
barlaiu's Tabiets?"
Sure, that is what he needs.
Sold by all druggists.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10

A fayorito sport in New Zealand, as
also in Australia and Tasmania, is
competition in wood chopping and
saving; and in these contests, which
attract a great deal Of interest, the
championships are always won through
tie use of American tools. In fact
the expert woodsman working for a
prize would never think CG using any
other tools.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10


eli crutches after suffering a severe
injury to his right foot caused by
calling over the outlet pipe OF the
PAS pnmp at Kentucky avenue while
dolns duJy as leyee Waterman Sat
urday night.
Mia Jlcoard LETT Tuesday for
IA Haoayillo, Ill, where he win re-
his stnd;os at the Illinois Uni
'agsit following weeks vacation
s9fat in this city with relatives.
Mr and Mrs. Jef Mcclure and lit
NE daughter were Cairo visitors
Monday afternoon.
Wan Ryan % Cairo visited rela-
tita here Tuesday
News q the death Of Rev. w. d.
Alarglave which occurred a; his nome
IN lterrin Tuesday morning was re-
, ceiyed by Attorney Geo r. Martin
q re and he and Mrs Martin left
Tuesday afternoon for that city
/ where they will attend The funeral
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The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.
CHARLESTON
yss ] ] ! sss 50 - - asi.s14 Iss1ssta's

sSwS~~@ q - u ~ W v - ~ '" I" y
Col Paul Moore ard family re-
turned home on Thursday from
Bonneville, Mo, whes they have
been spending tn wintr.
Misses Miriam and Louise Ma
thewson Of New Madrid, Mo, are In
this city the gu ats Of their sister
Mrs. Luke Hewlett.
Dr.. Fred oeilyie Of Blodgett was
visitor to Charleston TUESDAY.
Rev. ]. y. Harley was UP az Cape
Cirardoau tbe first OF the week to
attend a special meeting of the Po-
tosl rresbytery.
Rev. Il. Il, Russell Of sikeston
was in the city on Monday
Mrs. S. $. Small OF Bertrand was
a visitor to this city the first Of the
week
A. Il. Wclls. Of Peoria, Ill, was
a visitor to Charleston the first Of
the week
S. sandusky Of carmi III, has re-
turned homo after 4 visit Of several
DAYS IA this citv
nrrs l. Naiye who has beeo
visiting in rho civ has rat5rnol 10
her homo n Dexter
rosa,h Knov1os ne Carri. M who
nan her, gisi1ino IN onr city has ro.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10

The wife oil Charles Dickens is re-
ported to have once said: u suppose
tho world needs few geniuscs, but
it's dreadful fate to have to live with
one OF them" Mrs Carlyle said the
same thing in substance a great many
times.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10

So surely as the day and the night
alternately follow one another does
every day when it yields to darkness,
ard every night when it passes into
dawn, bear with It its own tale Of the
results which it has silently wrought
upon each Of rs, for good or for evil.
William Ewart Gladstone.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10

Concluded on Page Six.)
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10

For rheumatism you will find
nothing better than Chamberlain's
Liniment. Try it and see how quick
ly it gives relief. For sale by all
druggists
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10

You viii look good while before
you find a better medicine for coughs
and colds than Chamberlains Cough
Remedy 1t not only gives relief--it
cures. Try it when you have a cough
or cold, and you are certain to be
pleased with the prompt cure which
it VIII effect, For sale by all drug
gists.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10

Mother Ito inQuiaitlve child -
"Stand aside. Don't you see the gen
tleman wants to take the lady's pic
ture?" why does he want tor
Life.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10

party SnOQli Hct u|A i on us kHGRS
ana apologies to the people Of this
country for having three titaes da-
feated 50 far-siahtad a man as MY
Bryan for the Presidency Of the
United States
what these revolutionary ela-
mepts Of the population most dislike
is the rule Of law Their conception
of governm aat Is sort Of gIorihed
lgrchins before which tho achieve
nenu tit Springfield Ill., or at
Coatesyille, Pa, would fade into in
significance. Any judicial officer
Who III obedience to his oath ven
lures 10 dcclsro the law 20 be some
thing which is ont OF agreement
with their present-day preDossessions
pyaiudices, emotions or desires, ba-
comes a tyrant who should be dash
ed from his place on tho bench by
the profoundly wicked instrumental
t,y Of the recall Of Judges
II ID Forgotten, apparently, that a
Judge declares tho law, but does not
make it, and that in declaring the
law he executing the peoples high
est and most mature will IN SO
doing he is not imposing anything
upon the people save what they havs
;,l,noso1 mon Themselves ae tho
,,naos.o,,, ona w.1i-ingtifed restraints
,ron annottta md nasrioo
Tbo nan ybo woula destroy tbo
5an,n5o.+ ,,1iciarv booanso no
ais,t,,o. ~ difrora from so,ao snaoffo
..st,;.I aoa,,g i j. rad ID ! man
H. r.,.t,d snt bis borsa On fro in
..tur = .,,,r,,.o lie ventilation
.ari.. I'm h;a tho panrbIican
1, a,eri ,sti,oIv II war
81, s~, ro+ III reo5- +, rqfstit,,+-
4,,.or..-,.rt ly NAN oe craar-,,b,
| Jill ;,+oreio1s gor ooyerr,non- Nv
aw ra;a caotost vitsia fha marty
.r1 r5is presidential election m
Gac,ao whether c,,r gogern.nerf !
n No ren,hIican or coseacs
ar,4 i soid tba conat,fatinr
...s ,,,ao II M aiebtoart1 c,a+,,,,,
tto consfi.,+;,, ie o,,tworn # a
n~n ,,.ha li,.oa rn9,r co,af.-oa.
ro,o ei,ca noscoa awav Tlorasorn
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1912-04-10
Only Iuatlastlo war.

The only war th2g the sp5.iI OF 'o-
Gay can think Of without shame e tha
Indignant defense az o GeE ei'1hl
which Id home for cl,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1912-03-14
Methodist Church.

S School at 9:45. L. /. Reed.
Superintendent. Morning Ser
mon, THE LINKS OF A GOLD.
EN- CHAIN Epworth League
$50 p. m, topic, Transgression
as against love, leader, Mr.. H. R.
Coe. Evening sermon, GAZE
WE TO BE PUNISHED IN
THIS WORLD FOR OUR SINS
AFTER WE HAVE OBTAIN
ED GODS FORGIVENESS
FOR THEM?"
Good music. Ali Welcome.
Mrs. Guy Smith Organist and
Chorister.
Herbert w. Dack.
Pastor.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1912-03-14

Prof. S. A. Beach, Dean of
Horticulture in the Iowa State
College, Ames, will speak in
the Methodist church, Logan,
Iowa, Saturday, March 16, at 2
p. m +, on ''The Fruit a Harri-
son County Farmer Should
Raise" and he will tell the
kinds, how to set it out, how to
tend it, and how to keep the in
sects off. As this is of import
ance to the women as we'll as
the men, the women are invit-
ed. The expense of these lee
turers from the college are
paid by the Logan Business
Mems Association, so that
every person in Harrison conn
ty may be their guest that day.
Miss Gettemy from Ames will
speak Saturday, April 6. and
DR.. Pammell has been invited
for April 20. Bring your note
book and pencil with you.
G. 5. Lyles.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1912-03-14
Loveland M. e. Church
Sunday, March II

1000 a. M Sunday School.
Hoo a. m.-Morning service
by the pastor. The pastor will
be back for services on this
date, after an absence for some
time in meetings at the other
points and Little Sioux.
$50 p. -Epworth League.
The league contest is still on in
our league. It has created
quite an interest, so be present
and battle for your side. The
contest will soon close.
1880 p. m.-Evening service.
Sermon by the pastor; everyone
invited.
Harvey c. Travis, Pastor.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1912-03-14
Localized MECHANICS.
Thsy Appearea II Official Record, In
Colonial Times,

They Appearea II Official Records In
Colonial Times.
Nirknames are not likely to go out
Of fashion 40 ton: as human nature
remains whit It Is. Schoolboys will
nickname each other. collegians will
nickname their professors. und sol.
diers will speak uf their commanders
us "Iielt Fire Bill" .Fighting Joe" or
what not. Ia these days. however, 1t
is Let customary to spread such titles
upon official records. as was formerly
the. habit. according to the archives
OF several of our states.
In the Dutch records in lG44 we
have John Petersen. alias Friend
John. In the Ncwtown purchase from
the Indians. dated III 1866 one of the
boundaries is "by 81 Dutchmnn's land
called Hans the Hoore." and in the
Bushwick patent. dated Oct. II. 1867.
one of the boundaries Is John the
Swetle's meadow" In 1G95. In the
Ntags county records. Il man Is named
living Mt Gowanus as .'Tunis the Fish
err"
The common council OF New York
in 1901 ordered fish to be brought into
the dock lover against the city hall
or the house that long Mary former
ly lived ill.," and in the same year an
order was PASSED that Topknot Betty
and her children be provided for as
objects of charity"
The explanation of this custom In
many cases was that the persons in
question either had no family names
OF had forgotten them. so that the use
u their generally accepted nicknnmes
became necessity. So numerous
were the Smiths living upon Long Is
land that 1t was thought necessary to
distinguish the various original fami-
lies by some peculiar name. Thus we
have the Rock Smiths. the Blue
Smiths. the Bull Smiths and the
Weight Smiths.-Harper's Weekly.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1912-03-14
HIRED NEWSPAPERS.
A Custom In London In the Days Whom
Prices Were High.

A Custom In London In the Days When
Prices Were High.
4 London newspaper. the Daily
News, has unearthed an interesting
document which goes back to the days
of dear newspapers. when these papers
were taken around to houses and hired
for SO many hours at SO much an hour.
Tucked away. 1t says, in the leaves Of
an old guidebook to the Crystal palace.
dated 1854, has been found a little
printed leaflct, issued from Westerton's
library and newspaper Office. 20 ST..
Gorge place. Hyde Park Corner.
MAJ! iay the following announcements:
ian be had from the Office by 8
O'clock in the morning, to keep at 10
cents lcr COPY. or lent to read for three
no, IS ut % cents or two hours for 10
cc... per week. 1t can also be sup.
plivd at 5 o'clock in the afternoon at
the reduced price of 6 cents per copy
or posted into the country at SIS per
quarter. payable in advance"
In those days the Daily News had
been started only eight years under
the original editorship of Charles Dick
ems and was still published at 10 cents
copy. Its editor Mt the time was
William Weir. and Harriet Martineau.
perhaps the first woman in England to
undertake regular journalistic work.
was one of the writer's Of its leading
articles.
The system Of hiring did not disap-
pear quickly. Certainly down to the
year 1880 there were many households
in which the Times was still left on
the same terms. and 1t would lie diff
Gcult to say when the system finally
died out.-Christian Science Monitor.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1912-03-14
ITS YoUR KIDNEYS
Don't Mistake the Cause CT
Your Troubles

Many people never suspect
their kidneys. If suffering
from a lame, weak or aching
back they think that it is only
a muscular weakness; when
urinary trouble sets in they
think it will soon correct itself.
And so it Is with all the other
symptoms of kidney disorders.
That is just where the danger
lies. You must cure these
troubles or they may lead to
dropsy or Bright's disease.
The best endorsed remedy for
weak or diseased kidneys is
Doan's Kidney Pills. Resi-
dents of this vicinity are con-
stantly testifying.
Mrs. M. l. Penrod, of Logan,
Iowa, says: Il was almost
Frustrated by an extreme lame
ness across my hips, accompan-
led by pains in my back. l
had but little strength and was
annoyed by a kidney weakness.
AS soon as l began taking
Doan's Kidney Pills, the feel
ing of WEAKNESS disappeared
and before long my pains and
aches were relieved. l never
hesitate to recommend Doan's
Kidney Pills when l have an
opportunity
For sale by all dealers. Price
so cents. Foster Milburn Co.,
Buffalo, New York, sole
agents for the United States.
Remember the name-Doan's
take no other.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1912-03-14

A Draw.
81 found so cents this morning" con.
fded Jimmy.
"Found whole half dollar!' cried
his mother "How fine! What did you
do with it?"
Pete Jones was along. so gave him
half
Dear. generous boy! Did you do
that Of your own accord?"
"Ycssuln-well. we decided that
would lie right"
Jimmy. He didn't whip you and
make you give up half?"
NO. mamma. If he'd licked me he'd
n had it all Tho scrap was draw"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1912-03-14
Cleaning Fluid.

An excellent homemade cleaning
fluid useful generally for many emer.
gencies is made by dissolving four
ounces Of white castile soap in quart
OF boiling rainwatcr. When cool add
two ounces each Of alcohol. ether and
;,lyccrin. four ounces of ammonia and
finally one gallon of rylinwater and
then bottle. This will remove grease
spots from clothing and spots from ia
HE covers. carpets and rugs.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1912-03-14
Storm of 1870.

We were informed today by
]. D. Brown that just AZ years
ago this noon, March 10, 1870,
one of the worst storms ever
witnessed in this country,
started and lasted for three
days and three nights.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1912-03-14
Clarinda, Iowa
Mar 10 1910

Dear Rush: | want to thank
through the Times, all my
friends, for the post card show.
err | received from them a few
days a ago, and assure them it
was certainly appreciated by
me, coming as it did, such a
surprise to me. 1t is the little
tokens of friendship and kindly
feelings that helps us bear the
burdens and casts the Sunshine
throughout our lives. To one
and all who so kindly remem.
bered me, send greetings and
best wishes, again thanks.
Mrs. G. G. Lahman.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1912-03-14

IMPROVEMENT LEAGUE
Report OF President, March
I, 1912.
Ladies and friends of the
Improvement League. Today
closes anothers years work Of
the Improvement League. AL.
though we have not done such
a great deal of work, we have
helped to do one part in agreat
work which we hope will be OF
great benefit to the people of
Missouri Valley, and also to the
country people as we'll. We
have helped to build one of the
most beautiful Libraries in the
Go,l sty, for which we are very
proud. 1t was my desire to dc
all we could during my term of
oaise to help complete the
Wo k.
The first thing we did was to
pledge ourselves for one hun
dred dollars toward the com.
pletion of the work, when we
did not have but a very few
dollars to begin with. Where
there is a will there Is a way.
So started out and in a very
short time added 40 new mem
bers. This meant $40 toward
our pledge. In a short time
we had the desired amount
raised, and as time passed on,
and we still continued to add q
few dollars to our treasure.
We thought our library was
incomplete without lights at
the entrance of the building.
The president appointed Mes
DANES F. M. Myers, r. G.. Hills
and M. OConnor, a committee
to interview Owen and
Schmidt in regards to the cost
of installing two electroliers at
the entrance of said building.
Committee reported that two
electrotliers would cost $53. 10,
which we had installed and
which add a great deal to the
beauty of the library building.
We have had 10 regular and
and four special meetings, this
year, with very small attend
ance, considering a membership
of rs We have 76 members in
good standing and ! hope the
coming year there will be as
many more added to the roll.
We have such a beautiful
building to hold our meetings
in now. | think the ladies
should take more interest in
the Improvement of our city.
There is much yet to do before
our library is complete. We can
do a great deal yet if we are
interested in our work. | want
to thank all who so kindly as
sited me the past year and help
ed to do and make what little
we did.
Your retiring president hopes
to see the coming year more
prosperous han the last
Resp actively Su omitted,
Margaret q. Myers,
President.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1912-03-14
Ambiouous.

Ambiguous.
He-They asked me to their recep.
ton. but 1t wasn't because they like
me. It was only because I can sing.
She-Oh. I'm sure you're mistaken.-
Exchange.