American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1912-10-03
A
DIAGNOSIS
By WILLIAM C. ERNST

t>ORS AVSo ~ q la "a y
When any one got sick those about the
patient did not know what to do in
the premises. and there was no one
On whom to throw the responsible
ity. A committee was sent over to
Hutton. where there were two doctors.
with orders to try to persuade one OF
them to practice in Jimdandy.
DR.. Farmecute was induced to take
a new field. especially as DR. Thorax,
the other practitioner. bothered him
by ~disputing his diagnosis and treat
ment in every case. IL Farmecute said
a man had typhoid fever Thorax de
clared he had the mumps. II Farme-
cute gave a sedative Thorax sneered
and said that he needed a stimulant.
Therefore DR. Farmecute accepted the
new field with the proviso that If his
diagnosis or treatment were ques
toned by any one and he shot the
objector he was not to be prosecuted.
The committee accepted the condition.
and the doctor hung out his shlngle IN
Jimdandy
There had been out half q dozen
cases of illness in the town in a year.
though they had been worrying ones
to those who TOOK care of the patients
The hanging out OF a doctors sign
seemed to have IA peculiar effect on the
inhabitants While it mad not occur
red TO them before that there was any
thing the matter with them. now every
person who passed the doctors office
and read his sign felt compelled to
consult him. But woe betlde any one
who ventured to disagree with hin as
to the disease from which the patent
suffered or the treatment. One morn
ing Tim Hickson was passing the doc
tors office when Jim Ferguson came
crashing through the door, forwarded
by the toe OF the doctors boot
whats Up. lin z" asked Hickson
why. consulted the doctor for a
sore throat. and he told me the trouble
was In the stomach said could eat
well enough II could GET anything
down. but couidn I swallow. where
upon he hustled me out
Served you light, said Hickson
The doctor came mere with the stlpu
Iation that be was not to be disputed
professionally
If that's SO now am TO get even
with him?"
Well. If you want to get revenge
you'd better tackle him on some other
subject If you .uSiSt on throat trouble
when he says your stomach : wrong
and he shoots you ne : not 10 De pun
ISbed
Ferguson passed on. rubbing MS
bruises and trying to thiDk at a way
to get even with the d.cIui II was
evident that in a professional way
Farniecute had the people Ji jimdandy
with him In any traca~ 10 thai ilne
they would favor nim. ana HE result
would be 10 the dIscredii ut ms pa
tleut. Ferguson brouded over his
treatment. but his throat got well VI
itself
one day he Went pacE to the doc
tors office this time he had Ills gun
with nim and SAID
Doctor. nj sick | reckon I'm 90
ing to die
Where does the trouble lie?"
'Oh. / don t KNOW im no diagnoser
That's for you to lind out.
Il didn't mean that want You TO
tell me what's the matter with you /
want to know your symptoms"
Il haven any symptoms
Then you haven any disease"
Yes. | have
The doctor mad turned away. ami
when be SAN the patient again Fer
guSoD was cooking at him from be
hind the muzzie OF a revolver His
own gun WAS in "A dra wer in his med
icine case. but there WAS no opportu
nifty to get it If Ferguson objected.
i've got ID frighttui disease. and !
want you to tell me what 1t is"
How can tell you without know
ing your symptomSy
Il told you my symptoms the iast
| called Oh yUu professionally
and you fired me out tor my pains
We'll. | can do anything for you"
Ferguson cooked ms weapon II
you don't diagnose my case before |
count five" he said. "i1I make a case
for an undertaken. One. two
"YoD are suffering from amnesla.'
whats thatT
"You re forgetting Yourself"
Three
LET ue see your tongue"
Ferguson put out hs tongue.
II must feel your pulse
Not much. Youll have to nnd out
what's the mntter with me in ZONE
other way
You will need a sedative. Excuse
a moment and IN give you q nypo
to quiet you
A little syringe was lying on a able
With other lustrunents The Doctor
picked it up. tlled II with a liquid ana
advancing boldly toward his patient.
raised n anC squfrtpd the
contents In Ferguson = ~ Jim drop
,ed his revolver ana cIapped his hands