davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1912-04-27
AN AGGREGATION OF ABSURDITlES
Disreaardina an Inquiry.

Mrs.\Jenkins was standing before the
mirror, arranging her thin hair, when
her baldheaded husband entered the
room.
"Say, Emily" he began, why don't
you do your hair the way you used to q
"Why don't you" retorted Mrs Jen-
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1912-04-27
A Oueer MALAY Maxim,

The cocoanut palm has one peculiar
fly. 1t never stands upright. There Is
a Malay maxim to the effect that ''he
who hath seen a straight cocoanut
palm will surely live forever"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1912-04-27

Seoret o. PopuIarltysi fflr
She-He 10 the most populdx nan I
know. HeIsA
He-Yes. He never tells the truth
about anybody. Cincinnati Enquirer.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1912-04-27
"Dunwell is self made man. He
worked his way up"
"'And everybody he met"
A Compromise

A Compromise
Hubby, the doctor thinks I ought to
go to Palm Beach for my nerves"
Times are hard, my dear. Here In
a dollar. Go and spend the afternoon
In the palm room Of some hotel
Kansas City Journal.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1912-04-27
apeakino From Expsrisnes.

\ Mr.. Henpeck-w We're going to remove
to the seaside. doctor.
Doctor-But the climate may dis
agree with your wife.
ut wouldn't dare."-New York Jour-
nst.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1912-04-27
Juvenile eoIicituds.

Juvenile eoIicituds.
Pop, did you hurt yourself when
you fellT
II had no fall. my son."
81 heard Uncle Hen tell ma you fell
OF the water wagon."-Baltimore Amer
lean.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1912-04-27

Popular Brand Of Poiitsnsss.
Little Elmer-Papa, what IL polite
ness?
Professor Observation-Disclosures, my
son, is the art of not letting other
people know what you really think Of
them.-Tit- Bits.
Omaha daily bee., 1912-02-15
OFFERED FOR SALE

OFFERED FOR SALE
Typewriters.
RENT an Oliver typewriter from the
Oliver Typewriter Co. pousias 2sis.
TYPEwRITERS. ALL MAKEs-For
sale or rent: largest stock: best bargains
b n. SWANSON CO, i314 Farnam St,
Omaha. Cali or write.
MiseeIiansoss.
FOR SALE-Two scholarships Ia the
Omaha Commercial college and one 10
Boyies college. Business office. Omaha
Bee.
SOW blue grass now On the snow and
have Mica velvet lawn next spring and
THE SEzRAsxA SEED CO,
TEL Douxzs M lfi7 Howard s.
Bes .anf azzs wsn san fur
ufuze paAzoa, stoves type
writerz Swing maehneA
muxscal inxruxnE7tn boy
cex- cir AZ q cost Of only
nv cents. puu't delay
gvt your ad n nov
nor gALE-Neu and secsnd-hsnc
czrorn and pocket hlifzra tables and
kovifnr slizyrx ami accezsoriek. bar Ex-
lures 81 an kinds. easy psyrrents Ths
Rrzzrvirk- Bake CnlizuGe< ca SID q
10Th 81
ID SAFES DERTGHT. isls Feruam s.
n9 SET nseen Nerenhophnnsx fta.
raa6fnan. 81 ~ n 18th
Omaha daily bee., 1912-02-15

strictly modern s-room house. with
piano. almost new, leaving city on &C
count Of health. ia 3. It'll. Phone
RED Ss3i.s
Omaha daily bee., 1912-02-15
$400 Per Year
for $500
Country Home

To lease for to 3 years. 10 acres. with
orchard. gardens. s-room house, electric
lighted, large barn, poultry houses and
private water system. 4s02 Center St,
paved. one mile west OF Hanscom Park.
with city school two blocks away; has
small house for gardener; SO per month.
Omaha daily bee., 1912-02-15

LARGE SHOPS.
u.N. GUARANTEE. higher quail
~ lily graduates. More cars
and actual repair work than any three
western schools: let us PROVE u.
WANTED--Railway mall clerks, w
month. Short hours. No layoffsi position
yours for life Omaha examinations May
/. Thousands OF appointments coming.
Common education sufficient. "Puii I'M
necessary. Candidates prepared Tree.
Write for sample questions. Franklin IN
stitute. Dept 2is NJ. Rochester. N. !.
Omaha daily bee., 1912-02-15

FULL dress suits and party dresses 70
sale; also for rent. 81 TO si5o night
JOHN FELDMAN, 2os y. 18th. ID. SIS
Omaha daily bee., 1912-02-15
HELP wANTED--MALE
Asrns., ssis.mea aaa solicitors.

Agents, statesmen ana selicftors.
statesmen WANTED by the Baker q
Martin Mfg. Co.. to call on city. water
ara gas companies, plumbers. and hard
ware dealers: expenses guaranteed. See
our Mr. A. ID. Martin. General Sales
Manager, who will be at the Ogden
hotel. Council Bluffs. la. Feb. u 10 II.
inclusive.
WE WANT local agents for the new
model Fox visible Typewriter. Write US
tor our liberal proposition. Typewriter
inspection and supply Co., Western DIS.
trfbutera Inc. ls2 FsrnAm.
sALEsMEN 70 cali on the medical pro.
fession and represent old established
cessful man. p. O. Box III. philadelphia
AGESTs-stop right here. Something
new. As 10 - q week: sells on sight;
ioe Der cent profit: no charge for terri
tory. new automatic razor sharpener;
shsolussly guaranteed for life; winso
made 81, 90 profit IN SIX weeks Stevenson
selling % daily. over quarter million
satisfied customers Only device that
homes and sharpens any raror, CID style
Or safety. Phsnomenai money-makeF;
men everywhere are excited over the
mysterious accuracy and Perfection OF
this little machine. write today Tor full
detaiis. free; we want l.oN agents In
exclusive territory. at once. Address The
Never Fan Co. LII. Cotton BIDS.
Toledo. O.
WE are looking for parties to take ~
agency for the sale in the stats af Ne
bfaska Of large and small high grnAf
/ oil engines Of well known make Must
have good facilities for esnvassins ast
rAehtng al prospective purchaser IN ta<
stzseA Experieree IN cnrnsct1on with In
t.rnsi combustion engines VIII be sa a1-
vantage In replying please give fu1
statement. covering srpsF1encs and "a
eiiifiss fer securing business A gset
eTpcrrunity for the right pzrtisz Ad.
dress n bsn
+ NAN or woman In Omaha and ever
cify or trwn TO handle sur heEeheit
neoesxaflus Eighty articles. extracts
/ spices. ctr lss pee cent prc1[ Arpoln
sub-zxsnfs and make money On thai
saiea One REPRESENTATIVE made Es-X en-
week Werk PLEASANT WrtF IN AA<zre<l
Leck Boz T. Dssk All TriRs1 La
Omaha daily bee., 1912-02-15

Clerical and office.

RoYs-Aboat Is or Is years: good ap-
Eenrance; assist In vaudeville act Address
~ Z He
Omaha daily bee., 1912-02-15

Good men are hard to get,
They don't wander around
the streets looking for sigma
In windows
When you need good help
advertise In The Bee.
Bee want ads are read by
keen, energetic men who
wieh 10 better their condi-
ton. Rates 10 per word IL
run two or more times con-
secutively. Telephone Tyler
1000.
Omaha daily bee., 1912-02-15
Harrison & Morton
MR.. STREET CAR MAN

Here is your chance to get dandy o
room cottage home, modern except heat.
walls decorated. screens. storm windows.
nice south front lot, nicely fenced. on
paved street only four blocks from 18th
and Ames Ave. few hundred cash
will do, balance monthly. or exchange
considered.
Let US show you this bargain at once,
j. w. RASP CO.,
$50 F2ra nA.is piock
Omaha daily bee., 1912-02-15
BUSINESS CHANCES


Opportunity. Buy leg shares ~ Moor-
eren Oh II yah wiAh 70 nake : ceEseefA-
uss investment with SIRE eAAacx o.
spser1d profit Wells stsrA1A3 fparzees
E-s1aa frum EnrEusInn rzllrca6 and psO-
dHc-nx the fines. iuh<1EzE< n The Nu-i&-
irses<ikztion lnvftzd
M00RCR0FT OIL CD
q Mnurer0E<. uyn--
zE CITY MARI BANK BidE- ouahs.
FOR sALE-sfoeE q groceries and
esesz.sxsrs far eaxA; cheap Box - Has,
k&<4 #Ebs
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-05-23
THE SINGLE sIX-YEAR TERM.

A poll by the New York World in
dicates that the majority of the mem
bers of the national House favor the
proposed amendment limiting the
president to single term of six years
and thus doing away with personal or
other campaigns by chief magistrates
of the nation for their denomination
and reelection. In the Senate the
judiciary committee has voted to re-
port such a resolution favorably. and
il will undoubtedly be adopted.
Several presidents have heartily in
dorsed this idea. Jackson was the
first and Taft the last of these. Pres
idents are only human, and when
sorely tempted they may fall, like
the rest of us. The system which
tempts them to thing of bills in terms
of politics." which leads to misuses
of patronage, to neglect of business.
is a bad one. 1t, and not this or that
individual president, is to be charged
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-05-23
ELABORATE CATHEDRAL CLOCK.

Twenty thousand minute pieces OF
wood entered into the construction of
an elaborately ornamented Notre
Dame cathedral clock made by James
Galway of Skowhegan, Maine. This
clock. which is finely carved. stands
7 feet and 10 inches in height and
took Mr.. Galway six long years to
complete.
In the upper story six folding doors
open every ten minutes and the ap-
ostles appear marching in time to an
air played by a large music box that
is governed by the clock, each one
bowing before the Saviour as they
pass, except the fourth one (Which
represents Peter), who turns his back
upon the Savior, and the dvil comes
out of the top of the clock and blows
a trumpet in honor of Peter.
The second story is in the form OF
mansion with double doors in front
which also open every ten minutes.
Lazarus appears at the rich mans
door and on bended knees asks for
charity, the dogs licking his sores,
and the rich man stands in the door
swinging his arms as If he were
throwing crumbs from his table. All
these movable figures are run by
machinery connected with time
movement, so as to work on the min
ute. The bottom story is a very ell
aborate designed foundation of fine
inlaid work.-Scientifi American.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-05-23
EARLY IRRIGATION.
~~~~~~~%>%~>%< .

While the government has an irri-
cation expert upon the Umatilla res
ervztiOn it may be timely to suggest
that food or winter irrigation often
sccOmpIislnes great results in this
country Very frequently the Una
tiIlz river carries a big head of water
until the beginning OF summer. The
river is well up now and the highest
water on record occurred on May 80.
1906
By the construction Of flood irri-
cation bitches upon the reservation
il should be possible to raise annual
crops Of great diversity on a large
portion Of the UmatiIla reservation.
Such development would be of great
benefit to the governments wards. the
Indians
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-05-23
AN IMPOSING SIGHT.

The great parade by the Odd Fell
lows and Rebekahs through the
streets Of the city yesterday was 4
fine demonstration Of the wonderful
strength Of the two orders in this
state In line were representatives
from every city. town and village in
Oregon They are here for a common
purpose-the advancement Of organi-
zations that stand for the betterment
Of manhood and wOmanhOOd.
Spectacles such as this make peo-
pie think better OF the world. Our
modern life is not given up entirely
70 the mad struggle for wealth and
material success Great hosts of men
and women are willing to work earl
uestIy and hard for the benefit Of the
tribe and particularly for those who
need aid the most They are ready
u attend the sick and suffering. care
for the widows and educate the chill
dren.
II Is inspiring
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-05-23
IN \ BAD WAY.

The victory OF Roosevelt over Taft
in the presidents own state furnishes
more proof of the fact the president
is not popular in the sense the col
oneI is popular. 1t has been easy for
Roosevelt to make headway against
Taft for aside from having the people
behind him the colonel has also had
a very large segment of that part
of the world known as big business.
With the steel trust and its auxiliary
companies fighting the president and
backing Roosevelt with their power
full support it is not surprising the
president lost out. The people either
have very little use for a judicial
president or else Taft is an extremely
POOR politician. He has allowed him
self to be caught between the upper
and the neither mill stones and he is
getting smashed. The administration
steam roller will have to be guarded
or it may be taken by the enemy at
Chicago.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-05-23
SOME DAY THEY'LL DO 1T.

In a message which he sent to con-
gress December 3. 1907, ex-President
Roosevelt said:
THE need for collecting large cam
paign funds would vanish II congress
provided an appropriation for the
proper and legitimate expenses of
each Of the great national parties, an
ample enough to meet
the necessity for a thorough organ
izatiOn and machinery, which re-
quires a large expenditure of money.
Then a stipulation should be made
that no party receiving campaign
funds from the treasury should ac-
cept more than a fixed amount from
any individual subscriber; and the
necessary publicity for receipts, and
expenditures could without difficulty
be provided"
Thus it is shown as W. ]. Bryan re-
Gently pointed out in a letter to this
paper. that Col. Roosevelt was the
original advocate of having the gov
eminent itself finance the presidential
election or at least that portion Of
the election subsequent to the max.
ing Of nominations by the two great
Il
be very hard for the government tC
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-05-23
4~N~~AA~~~~~~~~~
THE BRIGHT SIDE.

y There Is many a rest in the .
road OF life .
II we only would stop to take .
il q
y And many tone from the bet o
ter land. O
q II the queruIOus heart would o
wake il, o
y To the sunny soul that is full OF o
q hope. o
And whose beautiful trust ne O
Ct faileth. o
. The grass is green and the o
flowers are bright. o
y Though the wintry storm pre- .
q vaiIeth. .
y Better to hope. though the .
clouds are low, .
y And to keep the eyes still lift .
q For the sweet blue sky Will soon q
= peep through .
When the OminOus clouds are q
y rifted. O
. There was never night without .
a day. o
Or an evening without a .
morning.
. And the darkest hours. as the .
prOTerb goes.
y Is the hour before the dawn .
. ing q
. Better to weave in the web of =
o life o
. L bright and golden filling, .
. And TO do Gods viii with a .
. ready heart -
. And hands that are swift and o
D willing -
, Than to snap the delicate. s,en- y
D der threads y
OF our curious lives asunder. -
D And then blame Heaven for the =
D tangled ends q
. And sit and grieve and Won =
. M a. Kidder. .
|. . . a
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-05-23

meet the expenses of the campaigns
for nominations. There are too many
candidates.
The idea contained in the expires
ident's message to congress five years
ago is the same as that which the
East Oregonian has been advocating
and which Judge King and Thomas
McCusker will lay before the national
conventions this summer, with one ex-
ception. Roosevelt's recommendation
was not that private contributions to
the presidential fund should be pro-
hibited but that they should be limited
to a "fixed amount" There is no
sensible reason why any private con-
tributions at all should be allowed.
The government of the United States
should be entirely capable of meeting
the expense of the presidential cam
paign and private giving should be
barred completely because Of the dan
ger of evasion of the law If private
donations are allowed.
The financing by the government
O.. the presidential election would be
q great reform and some day 1t is go
ing to be enacted into law. 1t is also
very probable that before another de-
cade many states will come to see the
necessity of financing important state
contests in the same manner.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-05-23

bottles and it made me well and strong
and | avoided dreadful operation. j
now have two fine healthy children, and
/ cannot say too much about what Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has
done for me" - Mrs. LEE MANGES,
r. F. D. 10, Mogadore, Ohio.
Why will women take chances with an
operation or drag out sickly, half
hearted existence, missing three-fourths
of the Joy of living, when they can find
health in Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound?
For thirty years it has been the stand
ard remedy for female ills, and has re-
stored the health of thousands of women
who have been troubled with such all
ments as displacements, inflammation,
liberation, tumors, Irregularities, etc.
II you want special advice write to
Lydia e. Pinkham Medicine Go. (cOnfi:
dentiaD Lynn, Mass. Your letter will
be opened, read and answered by q
woman and held In strict confidence.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-05-23
STRENUOUS TACTICS.

English courts have sent Mrs.
Pankhurst and several other suffra-
gettes to Jail for nine months each
because they want votes for women
and took what seemed to them the
best manner of attracting attention to
the cause. At this distance it is hard
TO see the benefit of window smash
ing as an argument for equal suf-
f-age. Yet If in England as in Am
erica, women are denied the fran
chise while the privilege is given to
macqueroux, drunks, ignorant lobs
and the 1. W. W. it is possible to ac-
count for the anti-glass crusade on
the theory that feminine indignation
must have an outlet. Or it may be
the suffragettes have decided that the
only way to reach the British intellect
is by use of an axe. Some Americans
once got the English started by
dumping some good tea into Boston
bay.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-05-23
[II9t5er5qp9E'I)

The highest point Of woman's hap
piness is reached only through moth
erhOOd. in the clasping Of her cL-ld
within her arms. Yet the mother-to-
be Is often fearful Of natures ordeal
and shrinks from the suffering incl
dent to its consummation. But for
uature's ills and discomforts nature
provides remedies, and IN Mothers
Friend Is to be found a medicine Of
great value to every expectant mother.
II is an emulsion for external
application, composed OF ingredients
which act with beneficial and sooth-
ing effect on those portions Of the
system involved. II is intended to
prepare the system for the crisis, and
thus relieve, in great part, the suffer
ing through which the mother usually
passes. The regular use Of Mothers
Friend will repay any mother in the
comfort it affords before, and the help
full restoration to health and strength
it brings about after baby comes.
Mothers Friend
Il: !: Il: +: 6: {: !; : ;; ;:: ]: A
expectant moth
ers which contains much valuable
information, and many suggestions Of
a helpful nature.
BRADFIEID REGULATOR CO.. Atlanta. Go.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-05-23

with many of the things which we de-
plore in presidential politics.
The movement for an amendment
giving the president a single six-year
term without the possibility of re-
election at any time is nonpartisan
and progressive. 1t should be treated
as such. 1t is a movement in the
Interests of efficiency, dignity, fidel-
ity, independence in the executive de-
partment of our government. Sober
minded citizens now appreciate its
Importance and real significance.
The time has come to take up the
single-term question and settle it in
harmony with the lessons of expert
ence and the dictations of common
sense and political science.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-05-23
PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE.

Morgan Is Digging Into Egypt's
Past" says headline over an account
of how this well-known magnate is
personally supervising excavations in
the land of the pyramids. In the
meantime his agents here at home
are diligent in excavating into Am
erica's present. and, as he has re-
Gently forced a large loan upon the
new oriental republic. we are entire
ly safe in saying that he is digging in
to China's future.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1912-05-23
WOMAN ESCAPES
DREADFUL
OPERATION
How She Was Saved From
Surgeons Knife by Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound.
Mogadore, Ohio. "The first two years
I was married suffered so much from

female troubles and
bearing down pains
thatI could not stand
on my feet long
enough to do my
work. The doctor
said / would have to
undergo an opera
ton, butmy husband
wanted me to try
Lydia E. Pinkham's
VegetableC Compound
first. / took three
Evening star., 1912-11-19

PHILADELPHIA. November 1e.-The
old adage, Shoemaker, stick to your
last has been given a Frank Baker
punch. The expression is supposed to
have originated as an encouragement to
apprentices to stick TO their line of work
instead OF trying to seek fortune by jun :
ing from one position to another. But the
case of Connie Mack proves that shoe
makers can find success by getting in
some other business and sticking ever
lAstingiy at 1t.
When Cornelius McGil,icuddy wiped his
name. OF the pay roll of a shoe factory
down east and went into base bah as a
profession he took a long chance of 60
ing hungry In summer and cold in win
ter. In those days base ball wasn't rated
as the national game of America, and
even the biggest parks in the country hal
wooden stands for spectators and lots Of
knot holes for youths who didn't have the
price Of admi- sion. Even when he be-
came a ma ior Lacquer Connie often Won
dered. as he sized up the few fans in the
grounds, where the money came from to
pay the salaries of the players
Twelve years ago. when the American
League was in process of formation, Con-
NE could have taken his bank roll and
gone into business in small town. That
was the usual route in the old days for
base ball players. Instead he took a long
chance and decided to invest his life 3
savings III the club to be formed IN this
city. After twelve years of the hardest
kind of work as manager and mag
nate, Connie today blossoms out as one
Evening star., 1912-11-19
MACK'S SUCCESS SHOULD BE
A LESSON TO HIS RIVALS
Comics Ri Partly Due to His Working
When Other Managers Enjoy
Vacations.

Of the biggest owners Of base ball stock
in the country. He is now owner Of
one-half interest in the Athletes and IN
Sh.he Park. No old-fime base ball pay
er has been able % reach such height
Connie has distanced all of his former
teammates and riva's. By hard work.
thrift. shrewdness and gameness to take
a long chance he has pushed his way
upward in the base ball world
His success is a lesson to other man
ayers and players. Instead OF taking life
easy during the OFF season, Mar, age
Mack has kept himself in touch with the
game all over the country He has tol ed
when others took their vacations. and
his tireless energy has met with Its prop
er reward.
An Illustration Of how Connie does
things was shown last week. Then. he
took a trip to Milwaukee. where minor
try were gathered In six hours of close
contact with the men who develop the Dig
league stars. Manager Mack secured In
formation that he desired. He acted
promI tly, and cut adrift six players and
secured one--an outtielder named Daley.
With these deals closed, Connie broke
away from the scenes of jolliication and
hiked back for this city. Unlike the other
base ball men. he wasn't on a vacation.
He has big business proposition to take
care of this winter. This Is to shape up
plans for team which he hopes VIII,
come back" next year and win the
American League pennant. Considerao Die
of Connie Mack's success is due to his
working while other magnates and man
ayers are enjoying life.
That it pays to stick to ones last as q
shoemaker or as a magnate Is shown In
the career of the Athletics leader.