davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
REACHED LIMIT OF TORTURE
Real Reason Why Burglar Gave Even
ing Papers Chance to Use Effec-
tive Headline.

A burglar broke into a New York
mansion early the other morning and
found himself after wandering about
the place in the music room. Hearing
footsteps approaching. he took refuge
behind a screen. From eight to nine
the eldest daughter had a singing les
son. From nine to ten the second
daughter took a piano lesson. From
10 to ii the eldest son got his instruc-
ton on the violin. From II to 12 the
younger boy got a lesson on the flute
and piccolo. Then, at 1915, the fam
lily got together and practiced music
on all their Instruments. They were
fixing up for a concert. At 1915 the
porchclimber staggered from behind
the screen. For heavens sake, send
for the police!" he shrieked. Tor
ture me no longer!" And in the even
ing paper there was the headline:
Merry Children Capture Desperate
Burglar"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
Mental Attitude for New Year.

From Wallace's Farmer.
Tn maj who starts out on New Years
day with the feeling that the cards are
stacked against him. that he is the under
dog in the fight, that he cant do nothing
nohow," will not get very far ahead;
while the man who opens his mouth wide,
expecting much-and working as il he ex-
pected it's likely to have it reasonably
wen filled; not always, but generally. For
there are times when, no matter how
great the faith nor how hard the york,
things Will go against US. for examine.
extreme urougtn, hail storms, epidemics
among live stock, great slumps in prices,
sickness which could not be prevented.
Still, IN a broad way, it is true that the
man who is a Woodworking optimist gets
his fair and Just reward. while the man
who is expecting little, and works accord
ing TO his expectations, will say, and with
good reason: Just my luck"
There Is sound philosophy underlying
this. The man who has no faith in God,
or If this word may be misunderstood in
nature, or in the benevolent intentions of
whatever Power he believes rules in this
world, and is not willing to yield obedience
to what we call natural law" on which
all good farming depends, is not likely to
think very clearly or work very hard.
TIL man who has no faith in himself. who
regards htmSelf-to use an old-fashioned
phrase common in our boyhood-as "a
bound boy at a husking,' this, man is not
likely TO use the ability, either mental or
physical, which Is his heritage.
The year 1912 is not likely to be a bed
OF roses for many OF u.s.: and If there be
roses, there will be thorns among them.
It VIII nave its trials and difficulties, just
like all ether years since the world be-
gan; but If we face these problems with a
stout heart and a cool head and strong
hands, their solution will be much easier.
II, on the other hand. we have no faith
IN the established order OF nature, cruel
stepmother as she often seems to be; IL
we nave no faith in the God behind ma
ture, and little faith in eurselves; we are
not very likely to have a happy Thanks
giving in 1912.
Some men will Eucceed this year; others,
IN exactly the same, or. it may be, more
fortunate circumstances. will fail; and the
explanation will generally lie in the per-
sonal quality, and the success will be to a
large degree measured by his faith. Who
was 1t that said: 1.-THE fault is not in our
stars, but in ourselves?" The world is
not a hammock in which we can swing
lazily under fair skies, famed by gentle
breezes. It is SO ordered that if we are
to get anything, we must expect to get it.
To use an eld-fashioned western phrase:
We must get up and dust and mot let
the grass grow under our feet" We are
quite likely to get in 1912 just about what
we expect and will really try to earn.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
Deep Grained Americanism.

From the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
An Oklahoma newspaper, published in
one of the villages Of the state which
Haskell! did not make famous, gives in
Its local columns number of items show
Ing What great melting pot this country
is, and that through It's boiling the Indian
is fusing with the body polite. Here are
some items:
Buffalo Meat and wife went down to
Calumet to attend the Christian meeting
there.
William Goodsell and family and Cut
Hair, all from Watonga, have come to
visit Joe Yelloweyes.
Little Snake has been hauling wood
from Tobacco's place.
Fighting Bull and wife, Samson Kelly
and Mary Shepherd went to Darlington
recently on business. Harry Houser has
just come back home from Watonga.
where he has been visiting his sister, Mrs.
Miller Big Nose.
As the Nov Orleans States says, these
Oklahoma society notes would make us
feel that Nc live In a land of
and war dsncss. but for the pleasing mix
ture IN nomsnciature. Such names as Buff
assurances Of dsep-grained Americanism.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
The Rox-Ihe GIr;.

He-Crime seems In a pretty low
way. Only last week some woman
kidnapped a baby-photographs Of 1t in
all the newspapers.
She-What did she take 1t for7
He-Nothing else TO take, l suppose.
l should have thought myself that any
body who kidnapped 8 baby would steal
an earthquake or borrow an attack OF
Asiatic cholera.
She-Babies are not so bad as all
that. The only thing l have really
got against them is that If you leave
them long enough they grow up into
human beings.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
Saw Mo Difference.

people who seek books from the
fiction section make some funny
breaks" says a librarian of the Libra,
ry of Congress. Il have made note OF
a number of these, but zone of them
amused me more than the request OF
a ~sour-looking spinster.
"She sternly demanded of me a copy
of The R~ecollections Of a Liar I told
her that l didn't know it, but that
could give her The ~Recollections OF
a Married Man
THAT will do said she acidly. cts
practically the same thing.'"-Lippin.
colts.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
! :. : H1 : = - =
An Oppressive Trust.

Before the Coffee Roasters' Association, in SEES.
sion at Chicago on Thursday, Thomas j. Webb,
Of Chicago, charged that there is in existence q
coffee combine which IS 'the most monstrous im-
position in the history of human commerce.
There is very. slight exaggeration about this
tatement. 1t comes very close to being literally
true. There is a coffee combine in Brazil, from
which country comes the bulk of the coffee used
in the United States, which is backed by the gov
eminent of Brazil and financed by it, which COM
pels American consumers, as Mr.. Webb said, tto
pay famine prices for coffee when no famine
exists"
The worst thing about this is that the consurn.
ers of the United States have been compelled to
put up the money through which this combine,
to further cinch them, has been made effective.
There were formerly revenue duties imposed upon
all coffee entering the United States. Those taxes
were denounced as an imposition upon the people;
as taxing the poor mans breakfast table, and the
like. The taxes were removed. Immediately
thereafter Brazil imposed an export duty upon!
coffee up TO the full amount OF the former customs
taxes in this country. The revenue which for
merry went into the treasury of the United States
was diverted TO the treasury of Brazil. The poor
man breakfast coffee continued 10 cost him the
same old price.
But this was only the commencement. The
stralorization" plan was evolved in Brazil.
Through this plan the government, using the rev.
enues derived from the export duties for the pur.
poses, takes all OF the surplus crop in a season Of
large yields and holds it of the market, thus
keeping the supply down TO the demands of the
market and permitting the planters to receive a
much higher price than they would otherwise
have done.
The United States consumes more Brazilian cof-
fee than does the rest of the world. We are the
best customers of Brazil, and Brazil buys little
from us. Now Brazil is promoting, financing and
maintaining a trust designed, and working effect
lively for the purpose, to compel American con-
sumefs to pay an exorbitant price for the coffee
they use. What is the remedy?-Seaate Poat-In-
teusgeReer-Nor. 19, 1911.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
WALKING for Nerves,

The nerves suffer from want of pure
oxygen. They run like a network all
through the skin and when they are
overweight the skin is apt to be dry
and colorless. Walking is an excellent
tonic for the nerves. 1t gives them
strength to control themselves.
If one has means of leisure, there
are plenty of other more enjoyable ex-
e~rcises. But few forms are SO bene-
fetal as the regular daily jaunt of four
or five miles for obtaining a good com
plexion.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
A Good Turn.

George AIDE. with the gentle cyni-
cism of the confirmed bachelor, was
talking in New York about New Year
resolutions.
Every wife" he said, loves 10 see
her husband turn over for her sake
q new leaf-in his check-book."
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
Had to Put in Human Interest.

An old negro preacher, says the At
Ianta Constitution, gave as his text:
DE tree is known by its fruit, an it's
des impossible to shake de possum
down"
After the benediction an old brother
said to him;
81 V knowed befo' dat SIGH a text
wuz in de Bible"
Well admitted the preacher, ut
amt set down dat way. throwed in
de possum to hit de intelligence Of my
congregation"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
Dissatisfaction

80 you were given an interest in
your employers business?"
Yes" replied the industrious youth;
but / made a mistake in accepting it.
I had less worry as a regular employee
than as a minority stockholder."
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18

Museum freaks are complaining
about hard times; but as for that, the
ossified man says things always have
been hard with him.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
Too Much RecIinInu,

How was it that Camps failed in
his bed-manufacturing business? lie
got too much in sympathy with the
business How could he do that?"
"He lay down on the job
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18

Thousands of ~Consumptives die every
year. Consumption results from a neg
lected cold on the lungs. Hamlins Wizard
Oil will cure these colds. just rub it into
the chest and draw out the inflammation.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
OF Y

For health and energy eat it for
breakfast. Reduces cost of living.
Free Silver Spoon in every package.
Ask your grocer for a package.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18

DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate
and invigorate stomach, liver and bowels.
Sugar-coated, tiny granules. Easy to take
as candy.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
a FRIGHT,

Lady said Meandering Mike,
would you lend me a cake of soap?"
DO o mean to tell me you want
soap?"
"Yes'm. Me partners got de hic-
cups an I want to scare him.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
Pessimism.

A pessimist IS one who receives a
pair ef gloves as a present and wor-
rtes because they will soon wear out.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18

Some people get SO accustomed to
looking on the bright side that they
can't see the other side at all.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18

Mrs. Wtnslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, ~softens the gums, reduces infnmmar
ton, allays pain. cures wind collie, 25c q bottle.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18

@ PILES CURED IN 6 70 II DAYS
Your druggist viii refund money If PAHO ONT
MENT fails TO cure any case of itching, Blind,
Bleeding or Protrpding Piles in G to Il days. DOC.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18

There are two kinds of suffragettes
the unhappily married and the IN
happily unmarried.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take BR0NO Quinine Tablets.
Druggists refund money If IL fails TO cure. +. w.
GROVES signature is on each box. 25c.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
Wanted "MiII" Supplies.

g" see that you deal in aill sup
plies"
Yes"
We'll I'd like to buy a pair of
boxing gloves"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18

Most of life's so-called tragedies
are merely comedies.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18

No Doubt About It.
And every good husband, no doubt.
is sure that he is married to n OF
the worlds twenty greatest women.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18
EXPECTING TOO MUCH

Magistrate-If your parents were poor
but honest, as you say, how do you &C.
count for you presence here?
Predatory Pete-I inherited only de
poverty.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18

The fellow who shoots off his mouth
doesn't always hit the mark.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18

NIFTY ID HasNt aAU REPENT At Is4S-
ure,' you know"
Yes; but my 1ancee is rich enough,
SO I'll have the leisure all right"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1912-01-18

Standard statistics of the coffee trade
show q falling off in sales during the last
two years of over two hundred nsiRion
pounds. Authenticated reports from the
Postum factories in this city show q
tremendous increase in the sale of Postum
in a like period of time.
While the sales of Postum invariably
show marked increase year over year, the
extraordinary demand fer that we'll
known breakfast beverage during 1911 is
very likely due to q public awakening to
the oppression Of the coffee trust.
Such an awakening naturally disposes
the multitude who suffer from the Ill
effects of coffee drinking to be more re-
ceptive to knowledge Of harm which so
often comes IS a result of the use of
the drug-beverage, coffee.-Bateke Crees
Euentng Neps-Dec. 10, 1911.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28

EGOTISM may be spelled with one letter
THE greatest slave owner in the world Is Fashion
so.v s,cs,. o u;,,x !, ,,,.;,o
mistakes
THERE'S nothing that makes troubles grow like tell
Ing them
MAN catches any fish with the yarn he spins
about them.
SOME people only good time by the price they
pay for il
THE who is steady cockwork isn't the who
lives tick
SOME people grief and others quite satisfied
to let it overakc them.
THE United States army ought to be Of the uckics
institutions in the counrysomebody is always knocking
Wood.-St Louis Globe Democrat.
.,
AT A. M. this morning, at the democratic convention
Senator Gore awoe sleepy delegates by remarng During
the past three and half President Taft has been busy
bee carrying the policies OF Theodore Rooseveton
stretcher."
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28

worsen that. Norken that. she
sauAwka. o dear. dear
my dear yung lady. nea the po'
ieacmRn. I've got eopps and a de
teetif setting here all rcddy 10 60
out on the trail Of the criminal. bot
II you don't turn of the ocean and
set down 10 easca. cant do no
more for yon than bill taft can for
tho republican party
sir. It's q FETCHED storey. she
holIora. hope you Kin ketch the
vilIin. Do you think you hin
madam. ses the bail. nm one o.
tho best little slllln ketchars be-
tween sandy hook and yonkeru. but
first will you Kindly slip me an ear.
full a. 10 wha, has been did to you
have been nickcd for my sinner.
that's what. res the yung lady. 2
hours ago had n dimond ring that
was worth 100 doller~ easy, why my
goodness hooked II once for 10 and
you know shat them three bail guys
IL. and now | alnt got no more
diamond ring than = rabbit
How did you come Ia be prfed
hNos. ffpth four pltH" OF Ice. A&Ah
the sariint. let us have the par.
ticklers
well. was out waIkin with n
yung Teller ! know, abe sas, and
whom ! got homo happened TO take
a slant NJ my mi,t. and tho hoop
was gone. that all
nov my deer gsri. acs the kind
old copper. know there ir guys up
heor in the brounix that would bite
your arm off for the price OF a short
beer. but don't seem 20 motifs that
you have been mangied up none.
and ! don't see how this Teller got
the ring without you knowing II
n you must know. she beilers. him
and mo waa hoidin hands
now give us his name, nes the
sarIlnt. and we will try 20 cit your
glasswae. but lisscn 10 mo my
child, when you hold hands with
any OF these guys that lives around
here. leave your ioolery 90 home or
wear gloves
morrel--it In always better to be
careful than soar at ynrseif
johnny
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28

II has been said that one big electric light in hitherto
dark alley is better than policemen Criminals ike GER
tain insects prefer tho dark q
m, electric LIGHTS do not scare away all the powers oil
.v The social evil for instance ourshes where the lights
are the brightest and the pianola sounds loudest 49,
And that is where some good folks down IN lsousNue
IN the Kentuey metropolis questionable resorts were opened
despite the protests OF homeowners The police were pa
Then the homeowners got together and hired stan OF
photographers who by night and by day. snapshot the hao
tues Of the places Some wcknown said to have
been caught by the
We venture TO predict right that the folks who want
10 own homes In decent neghbohood going to win
Eyilcven when protected by the police and the graers
can not stand being photographed and published to the world
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28
Wages and the Kids

a be according 10 the value OF his work
valuable is pachcoF
hut Then suppose your
children finds
small children suffer because the
luck good pay
but the Hungaran paria'
suffering
to consider these better
divides all government employees
general cosses known AZ the upper
allowance sso
children and tl&b
me lowe CLASSY ge o half OF these amounts
according their nseds-an entirely new
would 20 accepted
KIDS would be getting much pay
Z wclldrcssed office clerk
The bin hasn't passed Hungary
when does prove Ions way from Hungary 70
America
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28

Somebody asked DR. Anna Shaw president OF the National
Woman Suffrage Association what she would do u elected
president OF the United States and she promptly named her
cabinet follows: -.
Secretary OF Jane Adams OF Hull House chicago
secretary treasury Hy Green OF New York. secretary OF
interior Mrs Ella Fagg Young OF Chicago attorney general
Louis Brandes Boston postmaster general Jonathan bourne
of Oregon secretary war Andrew Carnegie OF Ptsbug
New York and Scotland secretary OF agriculture PROT l. H.
Bailey OF Cornell secretary of and labor John
Mitchell of Pennsylvania
say there have been cabinets that President Anna
Shaw'sl
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28
TrE JUNIoP OrfIcE BOY

new york. june 2z-hoo hoo. boo
hoo. ha~is yung lady. running
into a poleace station up Ia tbs
hronlx
wot 10 the matter my dear. Bea tho
earKirt. cam yourself and shoot
your wad. did sumboddy steal your
dorg or have you made unhappy
marriage
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28
IN THE EDITORS MAIL

Editor The Star: The announce.
ment that the Pacific Power. Light G.
Traction company has been forced
to reduce It's rates on light comes
as welcome news to thousands.
The history Of that company In
this town has been one OF the peo-
plo fighting the corporation. II has
been hard fight. the Stone Web
ster bunch Is powerful one, but
little by little the people haf won:
step by step they have driven them
back till now the company Is go
ing 10 lower It's rates. and soon
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28

they win begin to build more
street car lines.
The one factor that has been the
most powerful in the fight against
the Stone-Webster company Is the
city light plant. That has forced
the company to come to terms and
has shown the public service com.
mission some things In the way OF
fair rates.
John e. Black
Now that the F'urth bunch Ia
tanned we ought TO go after the gas
company and compel Il TO give US
fair rates.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28

tho Fourth Ia tho soda cracker.
With plenty Of Jam on II.
Anna Held wants TO got married
again.
II Prof. Metchnfkofra giyeobacfor
microbes prevent old age. whattl
dc do for "oldsnt citixens7~
Merely Suggested
Wear n poppy on Fathers Day"
the next time II comes round.
Alaska 10 q Regular Wlsenhelr,er
Tho Alaskan legislature won't
have any senate TO tangie things
up for 'eu.
You American girls have not
such healthy complications an We
have said an English duchess. II
always wonder why our nohioman
take a fancy 10 your white facss :
III Isn't our faces that attract
thsm." responded tho American
girl; 'it's our greenbacks Judge.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28

Thenis,oEieis hsrslsrpos
Papakyriakopoulos applied for
naturalization papers ~ Chi
cago recently. Theu,-eto. n.
Papa-ete. hss asked Chicago
citizens 20 suggest good
American name with . sllaht
crecian flavor 10 IL for him.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28
a Fine Distinction.

rs your daughter willing to learn
10 cook and aweep7"
no: she declines to do those
things. But she says she'll take n
course In domestic science II well
send her to some college. Louis
vlIle-CourIer-Journal.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28
InstruetIon. From bench,

Helen. what does that young
man who called iast night dor
Hes baseball player. father"
We'll. tell him 20 cut out his
squeeze plays whom he comes up
here. Brooklyn Citizen.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28

"Don't keer what you say. th'
Beelsysport Hovse may have ia
faults. bo, Tn perpristor 10 allus
urbanc an vneompixinirgi puts vp
at m year with what his guests
only endure occasionally"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28
FRECKLES

sew Drug That Quickly Removes Thcs~
Nom-iy Spets.
There's no longer the slightest need oi
fsniinK ashamed % yeur fraukIes az a
new drus. othins~-d1uhie strength, has
been discovered that positively removes
these homely apota
simply set one ounrs Of ethins
double strength, from narteil Drug CO
and apply a little % n at nisht ana In
the morning you viii 500 that even the
worst frechieH have begun 70 disappear
while the lighter ones have vanished on.
tir~iy. II IL seldom that more than an
ounce IL needed 20 completely clear the
pierion
10 sure 20 ask for the double strength
oihine, as thts II sold under guarantee ~
money back N u fails TO remove frschiss
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28

The circus. gorgeous enterprise.
Though mostly Joy. some sadness
brings
With Just one pair Of eyes.
One can't keep tab on all three
rings.
Judge.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28

why does Daisy take off her
wedding ring whenever abe slta
down TO read novply"
because she enjoys reading ono
better II she can temporarily forget
that she married"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1912-06-28

Mrs Manaernpper-No that the
suffrage movement has succeeded.
why DO you oppose II 90 bitteflyg
Mrs. fiomebody You'd oppose Il.
too, ~ you should so home some
evening aud find your cook run.
ming for alderman. your second
girl serving az election clerk and
your nurse maid drawn on q jury.