The Washington herald., 1912-06-08
MARRIAGE IS,A
LONG LIFE JOURNEY
For Which Practical Preparation
Should Be Made.
By FRANCES sHAFFER.

"A book Of verses underneath the bough'
A jug OF wine, a loaf Of bread-and
Thou
Besides me singing In the wilderness
oh, wilderness were Paradise enow."
The sentiment IS much too pretty to
destroy, the homage too acceptable to
turn aside It breathes the full spirit Of
romance and love.
But sentiment, homage, romance. and
love are not all there Is to, life, and
though they may not 'sicken and decay"
they must grow a bit dim and merge at
last into the more prosaic, practical de-
mands OF pure affection, which refuses
4 to remain forever satisfied with bread,
wine, or even Thou.
Wonder at Their Courage.
One wonders sometimes at the courage
of q young man who asks the Thou"
Of his dreams to walk with him the
long way of life, sharing the simple
bread and wine. after he has spent his
substance IN more royal and luxurious
| ways
When he has earned in fair abund-
ance, scattered his salary to the four
| winds Of pleasure, and comes with hands
laden only with bread and wine, then II
is neither sordid nor mercenary to say
1t Is scarcely fair to the woman, who
has q right to expect rather more sump-
| tuous fare from one whose capacity
| warrants IL.
Woman Must Wait.
The average woman keeps before her
the vision Of marriage, but, like the
menial at the kings banquet, tradition
has pronounced It Unseemly for her to
] speak until she is addressed. And the
tradition Of our land does not bid her to
bring any dowry; so she simply waits.
The average man has a similar vision.
and sometime expects to exchange its
faint outlines for a happy reality. Ira
dition privileges him to speak; it coun-
sells him to come bearing all the gifts
that love can offer, but 1t cautions him
to remember the practical, something
| more than bread and wine.
| Along with the proffer OF love, man
| owes the woman he hopes to marry some
! Of the fruits of his work, and II his
capabilities permitted something better
| and he still approaches empty-handed,
| she may well falter on the brink
It is far from true to say that economy
| that begins at the altar is too late; but
IT Is not unjust to say that IT is unfair
| to spend with lavish hand in the free
| days of bachelorhood and shut down,
perforce. when the two travel together.
| One might willingly continue on a road
/
| eled, but when the way has been along
! free expenditure, with anything for
pleasure the motto, there is ground for
resentment.
| Poverty Has Some Advantages.
Doubtless there is a Strengthening ef-
feet in wholesome poverty and the Gym
ical proverb which sends love inglorious-
ly out of the window when poverty comes
| in by the door savors too much Of
heresy for acceptance by any but the
most skepticaL
But If a man is dreaming Of matri-
mony, II ever so family, he is brave in
| deed If he thinks of approaching the
altar without having prepared in some
measure for financial reefs that are GER
tain to appear before the horizon.
| In the days Of Grecian splendor a sym
bolic legend was carved over the doors
| Of a beautiful temple: BE Brave; Be
door was reached, the qualified climax
] came BE not too brave"
| And it might be well for the contem-
plative benedict to bear that last in
junction in mind.
A man who, financially. has majesti-
caIy come into his own, once told me
that on his wedding day he appeared
/ in all the bravery Of borrowed finery,
\ for he literally had not "a wearable coat
to call his own.
Year of scrImpinE.
He was brave, far too brave; for the
story also told Of the long years of
pinching, almost grinding poverty that
! left their imprint upon the two who
walked. together, to be sure, but still
through what he termed "a fiery fur
mace"
They were young; their hopes need not
have been buried. but he might have
waited until the ambition, good. health
and good morals that constituted his po-
tential wealth had yielded just enough
to have permitted them to start with
fairer prospects the home drama, which
may record a long, beautiful story, or
may register failure.
Marriage is for life and just a few
years at the threshold are not lost or
in vain when spent in preparation for
the long years of companionship, which
may be idyllic or prosaic and dull, but
which are certain to bring much that is
practical.
Gold is not a cure-an, and it some
times brings more of turmoil and un-
happiness than Of bliss, but 1t does
soothe and soften many a rough place,
and since woman is hidden to come pre-
pared" is it too much to ask man to
wait until he has fortified himself with
enough to make the way bit easier?