The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-12-15

Af-N
 eIIe was jabbing his pitchfork into the hay, he said, and chucking the hay down to the barn floor, when pretty soon a deeper jab of the work than any of the others struck into something sort of pudgy, and all of & sudden the hay rose as if a whirlwind had hit it from under. and out of it busted a fair to middling sized bear, with howl that made things shake. And well it might, if the tines of ter's flank more than two inches, as Bob said it had.
 Knew What It Meant
 "'Soon as I see the bear said Bob, T knowed to wunst what it all meant. The poor varmint had been overlook by the student winter weather, an bein' sort O prowlln' round nigh here, moren likely. he had made straight for the barn, clum in somehow, skinned up the ladder to the haymow, slowed hisself away down in the hay, an gone off, as he thought, to sleep fer the win ter. But that jab O mine with the pitchfork broke in on his nap, an I'd a got up quick an ugly too, jest as the bear did, if l had been him. said Bob.
 Then Bob told me that as soon as he could yank the pitchfork out of the bear he jumped for the mow window and threw it open, intending to shoo the bear out of 1t so that he could go and hunt up another place to winter in, but the bear was so mad at being woke up that way that he didn't ap- pear to see what Bob's charitable in- tention was and hauled off and gave Bob a swat that shooed him out of the window himself, heels over head
 That made Bob mad, he said, and he picked himself up and ran around to the barn door to get in again, now with the intention, he said, of giving that 'tarnal bear a booting that would send him away with something to re- member him by.
 "'But when I got in the barn. said Bob, the bear want in the now, an I couldn't see nothin' of him nowheres about Then by an by seen that kick in sorrel mare O mine kind O glarin' an chafin' in her stall, an 1 knowed she must "a been up to somethin'. l look ed over the manager, an there, over agin the side O the barn, 1 seen what it was that the spiteful critter had been up to- It was that unfort' Init an misguided bear, layin' there deader n a mackerel.
 "'Now, that sorrel mare O mine said Bob, won't stand for nothin' goin' be- hind her. The bear, not knowin' that, an mebbe feelin that I wouldn't be likely to let that swattin' he had give me go by without hayin' some more to say about it, had hurried down outen the now to git outen the barn by the open back door. To do that he had to pass behind that mare the upshot O which bein' that she jest let out an landed both feet ag'in the bears neck an broke it as complete an proper as a hundred pound O rock tumblin' on to it would a done it.
 q nodded to Bob, and said yes: but how about that bullet hole in the bears side I had heard about?
 "'Well, now, as to that hole in the bears side,' said Bob, 1t sartin does look like as if it moyt "a been ripped an tore by a bullet. An it mowt jest as well "a been a bullet, too, as to have been n three inch spike stickin in the side O the barn, an ag'in which that rash an miscalc'latin' bear land- ed as he was rig an slammed by that pesky kixin' sorrel mare O mine. Jest as we'll as not, said Bob, as fur as 1t made any difference to the bear.
 Showed the Splke
 'Although Bob took me to the barn and showed me the three-inch spike sticking in the side of the barn, and al- though there was the sorrel mare, md l saw her kick, l said to Bob that accord ing to the statute In such case made and provided I would have to take him with me to the squire's and take the dead bear along as an exhibit of his good faith in the settlement of the matter So Bob said all right, and went along with me toward the woodshed to get the dead bear, and the way he was surprised when he saw the woodshed door open was tremendous.
 "'Why. consarn it.. said he. That door was shet last night
 But we went on to the woodshed. We looked in. The head bear was gone. looked at Bob, and Bob looked at me, and when he got over some more tre- mendous surprise Bob said:
 Well, if this aint spooky. then you kin eat me! That bear was deader n Collar with Davids sling shot in him, an he's gone awayl Can't be, kin it. said Bob after pondering a little, that the 'tarnal bears mate was woke up an come nosin' round here an lugged that bear away? Bears is queer, you know Why, dod rot it's pictures! If I only knowed it was so, an it want ag'in the law, I'd run that thevin' bear to it's hole, by hickory, an give it everlastin' beelix!
 q didn't see as there was anything more for me to say, and I jumped in my sleigh and went back home. And that mysterious disappearance of Bob Somer- dike's dead bear is still unsolved