Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-10-24
TOOTH ETlQUET.

not done in the best circles.
Do not carry the teeth in the tail
pocket of Your dress suit, for you
are liable to sit down on them and
be- severely bitten.
When you have to sneeze or cough
so away by yourself in Il dark cor
ner. and hold Your hand over yout
mouth. You can never tell what will
happen.
If the teeth click when you talk.
oil them frequently. for noisy teeth
often disturb the neighbors and there
is enough to keep them awake at
night without tina do not carry the
tooth brush in the upper vest pocket.
for 1t YOU do people will know that
you have not had o teeth very
long.
PUNK JOBS.
Beirg president of Nicaragua.
Being "a campaign manager.
Taking moving pictures of the
Tupko-ltalian war.
Running for vice president on the
populist ticket.
Digging for Captain kidd's buried
treasures.
Crossing the Atlantic in a motorboat.
Riding a cranky s-eroplane. or in fact
any aercplane.
~Blue-penciling one of Teddy's
speeches.
C~hau1ering a o roller.
Writing speeches for statesmen to
deliver.
THE SUMMER ROMANCE.
Oh. where are the lovers of yester~
day,
Who strolled along the beach?
He had the grace of a D'Orsay-
She was Il lustrous peach.
He was a foreign count, he said.
She was a rich mans daughter.
IL was enough to turn her head
The way this Apollo sought her.
He wooed n he won Der heart and
hand.
Back in the pale moonlight.
Ihey pllghted their troth-it was
simply grand
An evening of rare delight.
Twas ar act of kindly Providence
Naught else was this happy meeting:
But neither of them seemed to have
the sense
TO know the other was cheating.
Where is the manc of Yesterday?
IL passes beyond the ken.
shes back Singing hash in a punk
cafe,
And he's selling ribbon again.
NOW,S THE TIME.
He snOrts N lie wheezes,
He trelnbles and sneezes,
He shivers and freezes
And sticks by the CRATE.
He sends down to Gus's
For rye and he fuses
And inwardly cusses
His ornery fate.
He grumbles and mutters.
He mumbles and shutters
And constantly utters
Unprintable stuff.
He spends his time signing
And sobbing and crying
And thinks he is dyingf.
But not fast enough.
When he gets to checking
He mas TO stop smoking.
lis not time for joking
And life is a frost.
There's none to befriend him
Or sympathy lend him.
He knows that will end him
And that he is lost.
His wife does not worry
OR hurry or skurry
she Knows she'll not bury
Him and sheds no tear.
she knows. he'll not leave her.
Hes onc gay deceiver.
Hes Onesgay deceiver.
He's got the hay fever
The same as last year.
-
WE COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT
THESE.
Caruso tomcats>
Hot mince pie.
New York police scandals.
campaign promises.
yellow automobiles.
Furniture polish conyassers.
OPPORTUNITY.
Tney say dat opportunity knocks once
at each mans do.
An knocks jes' ono an goes away
-. an don come back no mo-
Dat may be so. but jes' de same All
entertains a doubt. -
Fo' eff she evan called on ms OH.
called when An was out.
An thinks dat opportunity done git
ner dates all mixed.
SHe KNOCKS at one mans do SO much
he has to get 1t fixed.
Ne next man may be Waitin. IN, IN
entahtatn her call,
; MS mouse amt upon her list nm.
n don come at all.
She calls on some folks every d,v
H.. and knock till she am 10. Ivy
She rings do bell and fonts 49,.
-. q den breaks down de do.
FL oey Don 'spond And Let her IN
she takes Il In her haid
~ :" up staafa n grab 'em quick
an drag EN- out OF bald.
All tells you what, II dat a..
mould come Aroun' NAH place
Shell Tim me waitin' at d. az: -
!rab her rouns dc wais'.
AL. nsne f1snt on jes lax Ah.s
She'll have ioa' 0nN afficIt" ustV.