The Ordway new era., 1912-07-05

"Chaufieur! chauffeur: don't 20 10
fasht round these corners"
He collided with small train.boy
singing his nasal lay. but 1t was the
behemoth and not the train-boy that
collapsed into seat. sprawling as
helplessly as a mammoth oyster on .
table-cloth.
The porter rushed to his aid and
hoisted him to his feet with an un'
easy sense OF impending trouble. He
felt as II someone had left mon.
strous baby on his doorstep. but all
he said was:
Tickets. please"
There ensued a long search. fat.
flabby hands Topping and fumbling
from pocket to pocket. Once more
the porter was the discoverer.
II see It, Don't look no mo-. Here
It is-up In yo' hatband." He lifted
1t out and chuckled. Had 1t right
next his brains and couldn't remem.
ba!" He took up the appropriately
huge luggage OF the bibulous wan.
derer and led him to the other end OF
the aisle.
'NNmba two is yours. sab. Right
heah-all nice and cosy. and already
made up"
The big man looked through the
curtains into the cabined confinement,
and groaned:
That! Haven't you got mans
size berth?"
Sorry. sab. That's as big bunk
rs they is on tho train"
'Have l got to be locked up in that
pigeon.hole for-for how many days
IS 1t to Reno?"
"Reno?" The porter greeted that
meaningful name with smile. Were
doc in Reno the-the-mawnin' OF
the fo'th day, sab. Yassah." He put
the baggage down and started away.
but the fat man seized his hand. with
great emotion:
Don't leave me all alone in there.
porter, for I'm broken-hearted man."
''Is that so? Too pad. sah.'
Were you ever broken.hearted
man. porter?"
always. sah."
Did you ever put your trust in =
false-hearted woman"
"Often. sah.'
was she ever true to you. por-
ter?"
Never. sah.'
"Porter. we are partners in mis-.
sis-ery."
And he wrunE the rough. black hand
with solemnity that embarrassed
the porter almost as much rs 1t would
have embarrassed the passenger him.
self If he could have understood what
he was doing The porter disengaged
himself with a patient but hasty:
I'm afraid you'll have to 'scuse me.
I got to hep the other passengers on
bode"
Don't let me keep you from your
duty. Duty is the-the-" But he
could not remember what duty was.
and he would have dropped on to
sleep. II he had not been startled BY
a familiar voice which the porter had
luckily escaped.
"Pawtah! Pawtah! Can't you raise
this Lighter rather can't you lower
It? Pawtah! This light Is 30 in.
fernally dim I can't read"
To the Englishman's intense amaze.
ment his call brought to him not the
porter, but rising moon with the
profound query:
"Whass a III thing like dim light.
when the light OF your life has gone
out?"
Il beg your pardon?"
Without further invitation. the
mammoth descended on the English.
mans territory.
I'm ken-hearted man. Mr.
Mr.-I didn't get your name"
"Er-ah-I dare say"
Thanks, l will sit down" He lift.
ed a great cnrry-all and airily tossed
it into the aisle. set the Gladstone
on the lap OF the infuriated English
man. and squeezed into the seat op-
posite. making n sad mix-up OF knees.
l.. MY names Wellington. Ever hear
of III Jimmie Wellington? That's
me-"
ANY relation to the Duke?"
"Nagh!"
He no longer interested MIR. Wedge
wood. But Mr.. Wellington was not
aware that he was being snubbed. lie
went right ON getting acquainted:
Are you married. Mr.-Mr.-?
mol"
MY heartfelt congrasnlatlons
Hang on to your luck, my boy. Don't
let any female take 1t away from you.
He slapped the EnEIishman on the
elbow amiably. and his prisoner was
too stiiled with wrath to emit more
than one feeble "Pawtah!"
Mr.. Wellington unused on aloud:
"Oh, II | had only remained single.
But she was so beautiful and she
swore to love, honor and obey. Mrs.
Wellington is a queen among women.
mind you, and | have nothing to sa!
against her except that she has the