The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1912-05-15
Under
Discipline

Hammond noticed that his wife
looked tired one Saturday afternoon
when he returned home early from the
Office. When he spoke OF it she ad-
mitted that she was pretty well worn
out, and when he discovered that she
had dropped a tear on the lapel OF his
coat he insisted that she should take
an afternoon off.
You're worn out taking care of
that youngster," he said. Now, you
just trot along to the matinee or any
where you feel like going, and III at
tend to the offspring. He needs a
little masculine discipline, anyway"
Mrs. Hammond demurred on the
ground that she didn't want Hammond
to devote all his Saturday afternoon
to taking care of the baby, but Ham
mond was determined and eventually
had his way.
You're the dearest thing that ever
lived" murmured his wife, as she
kissed him goodby. But I'm afraid
you'll be sorry. Baby is $3.50 efrerves-
cent
"Poohl" scoffed Hammond. Then
he smiled in a superior way.
When he returned to the living room
Hammond found his son, who was
seated on a small stool and looking
quite impossibly virtuous, gravely con-
templating the landscape from the
front window. The situation appeared
easy, so Hammond sat down on the
chair nearest the infant and pulled
out his Oldest and smelliest pipe.
what do you say to having a
smoke, old MANI" he inquired, jocu-
larly.
"Ough!" replied the baby, approx
ingly. Then he squirmed of his stool
and went and stood by his fathers
side.
Rather a good stunt, having the
feminine element take itself of occa-
sionally, hey?" Hammond inquired
pleasantly, as he pushed the tobacco
down into his pipe with his little fin
ger. He laid the pipe on the arm of
the chair, rose and crossed over to
the mantel to get a match.
"Humph!" said the baby in a muf-
fed tone.
Hammond turned in time to see him
examining as much of the pipes stem
down his throat as he could convent
emily insert there. However, as his
father leaped toward him, he gave a
chuckle, removed the pipe from his
mouth, dexterously shook the con-
tents out of his own clean little era
mum, then threw the pipe upon the
hearth. The sound made by the am
Der mouthpiece as it broke against
the tiles caused baby to become fairly
delirious with joy. Squealing like an
ecstatic pig, he ran from the living
room back into the dining room.
Hammond set his lips firmly. Now %
ne said to himself, lis the time to
teach him the rudiments Of being a
law-abiding citizen"
He followed the baby into the din
ing room, where he was sitting under
the table. Hammond stopped down
and spoke sternly to the chuokling
miscreant.
Come out, son." he said.
Son merely hitched himself farther
over toward the other side of the ta-
BILE, shaking his head delightedly. he
then ran around the room three times,
dexterously avoiding the fathers out
stretched hand every time he passed,
then suddenly stopped and threw his
arms around his fathers knees, shout
ing joyously.
Hammond disengaged himself and
taking his son by the hand led him
back into the living room.
"Pick up that pipe. young man"
said Hammond, sternly. The baby
hlinked at him and the corners of his
lips curled upward. Il mean it," in
sisted Hammond. The baby respond
ed with his familiar chuckle and
capered cheerfully.
Every WE'LL" said Hammond in a
tone of finality. He led his son out
into the hall. "Now, will you go back
and pick up the pipe?" he inquired.
cor will you go into the lavatory and
stay for the rest of the afternoon"
For answer the baby dived into the
lavatory and plunged headIong into a
pile of pleasantly plump pillows that
had been left on the floor to get the
sun. Finding this quite soul satisfy
ing, he presently righted himself and
beamed upon his progenitor.
you'll stay here?" asked Hammond
Every well. You can come out when
you're ready to mind daddy"
The baby merely projected himself
once more into the mass of feathers.
Thereupon Hammond shut the door
and went back to the living room.
Three-quarters of an hour later he re-
turned and led his son forth to the
scene of battle.
"Now," he said, assuming a frown
that should have sent terror to the in
fantile heart, "pick up that pipe"
The small boy looked up into his
fathers face and the smile faded from
his own plump countenance. He
dropped his fathers hand and got
down slowly upon his knees. Once
more he glanced up at his father. See
ing DO sign of relenting, he put out
his hand slowly. picked up the pipe.
struggled to his feet and, with re-
markabiy good aim, planted the pipe
upon his fathers solar pleKus, Then,
shouting in mirth, he fed.