Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-10-20
CHAPTER III.
Presenting Hiram Baxter.

CHAPTER III.
Presenting Hiram Baxter.
Hiram Baxter. whose hidden purposes
were responsible for Betty's sudden and
momentous journey to London, was in
this year of the first flying machine one
of the few really interesting self-made
men to be found in New York city, where
such sturdy and picturesque types are
rapidly disappearing. At fifty-five Baxter
was big, grizzled fellow, with pair of
straight shoulders. friendly smile and a
way of using the English language that
was absolutely and delightfully."- his own.
This grammar business amt much of
a trick he would declare with his slow
characteristic drawl. II could swing 1t
any time l wanted to. but where's the
sense O. weann' high collars and patent
leather boots if yer neck and yer feet
amt comf'table in 'em? Suppose say to
you. I like them peaches? You say those
peaches. I say no. them peaches. You
say it's wrong. 1 say it don't make a
hang O. difference; it don't hurt you
an it don't hurt me an it don't hurt the
peaches"
Baxter invariably dressed in simple
black garments. including a wide-brim-
med soft black hat, that gave him in
repose. with his ruddy, rugged usage
somewhat the look of an English bishop,
as had been more than once remarked by
his episcopal friend of Bunchester.
1t amt because 1 like it that I wear
black" Hiram sometimes explained. land
1t amt because I'm sad. The fact is
blacks the only safe color fer me If
want happy home. Why. if I ever let
pants. an fancy neckties, my wife'd start
fer divorce the next mOrnin'. Yes, sir"
When Hiram laughed his blue eyes
twinkled at you under shaggy black brows
and his strong teeth cleaned at you
beneath his white rhustache; then. per-
haps, you thought rather of bluff Ger
man statesman. But soon as he spoke
you knew he was American through and
through. and. somehow. you thought none
the less of him for his quaint lapses in
speech. Not all the rules of prosody and
syntax could alter the fact that Hiram
Baxter was figure of compelling power
strongly original and Iovable man, who
inspired immediate confidence in his Won
derful resourcefulness
1t was during his recent voyage on
the Lusitania. in the course of brisk
walk on the upper deck, that Baxter
took the Bishop Of Bunchester into his
sonal matters. Hirams friendship with
the bishop was of long standing for the
American some twenty-eight years before
at the outset Of his varied career, had
married an English lady, a distant con-
nection Of the prelate's. and 1t had long
been the Baxters' custom to divide their
year between comfortable home in
Washington square. New York. and a
out Of London. where Mrs. Baxter enter
tanned numerous relatives and friends
with lavish hospitality
II tell We. bish.' Hiram broke out
abruptly, lit amt by a mans successes
that We can size up his character No,
sir. It's by the mistakes he makes. an
the way he faces 'em and gets out of 'em
Why. ! know doctor up in New Hamp-
shire-homeliest Teller I ever seen-he got
rich maxim cough medicine out o. shin
gles''
BLESS my soul! shinglesr' the bishop
exclaimed.
Yes. sir; shingles. Good pine shingles.
A whole lumber yard full of 'em. He
got 'em in foreclosure proceedings-hadn't
the first notion what to do with them
shingles until he happened to think of
cough medicine. That turned the trick.
Ever hear S;s of peeks Peerless pectorar
them shingles. every bottle of it: and
say. bish, it's great stuff. Which is
what 1 call maxim the best of yer mis-
takes. for it amt every country doctor
would see his way to snatchin victory
out of lot O. discredited pine shingles"
This bit of homely philosophy was re-
ceived by the distinguished churchman
with amused approval.
VERY true, my dear Baxter, but I
don't see how this applies to you
'Tll show ye." chortled Hiram. ever
hear O. the Teller that used to wear de-
tachable cuffs and then went broke be
sewed on? No? It's fact. Ye see he
had to get a swell suit to match the
shirt, and a fur overcoat to match the
suit, and an automobile to match the fur
was such a swell he blew up an busted
What an extraordinary fancy!' eX-
claimed the bishop, laughing immoder
ately.
Baxter And 1 want to tell you I've
been little that way myself: I've been
tryin' to live up to the standards O. my
wife an my wife's relations That's
where I've made my mistake Yes. sir:
I'm only rough Teller. bish, but-well,
l married Eleanor and-you know what
she is. Swell English family and-grand
ideas and-you understand. Dye think
I'm stuck on havin' a country place in
England? Asbury Park d suit me lot
it was the proper thing and-so l took
cambridge Manor, with its ancestral tow
ers and its dungeons and lot O damned
foolishness. Excuse me, bish. but that's
what it is And as for relatives he
paused with grim Tightening of the
lips.
MY dear Baxter" put in the prelate,
you surely do not regret the old-fash-
your excellent wife have been practic
ing?"
Well drawled Hiram, IF old-fash-
Toned English hospitality consists in bein'
worked in every conceivable way by lot
of impecuniOus third cousins that never
did a days work in their lives then l
say it's time old-fashioned English hos
pitality got inoculated with some new
fashioned American common sense. Why,
with Lionel Fitz Brown, my wifes third
cousin. and Kate Clendennin. the Count
ess Kate. and the two Merles and vari-
Gus others, my house is about as much
like a home as a Narragansett hotel.
Now, take Merle
"Horatio Merle?" interjected the bish-
op. "You don't mean
Eyes. 1 do" continued Baxter, 1.-THE
Rev. Horatio Merle my wife's second
cousin once removed. AS good a man as
ever thumped Bible-you know what l
mean. bish." Hiram added quickly. mis-
taking for a sign of disapproval the
cough which the reverend auditor had
a downright pure-hearted Christian you
comb and not find another like Horatio
Merle; but what good does that do him?
He's lost five preachin' jobs in three |
years, and for the last six months the |
only focks that have had the benefit of
his pulpit oratory have been the birds |
and butterflies at cambridge Manor. Il
tell you. bish. he missed his vocation |
He ought to have been one of them ma
ture sharps"
Il believe you are right assented the |
bishop. "Horatio Merle would have made
his mark as a naturalist. l never knew a |