Perth Amboy evening news., 1912-09-12
MOTORING BOWLING
FISHING BOATING
LIVE
TIPS
By BOSCO

Happy New Year!
Joe Honan is going to give a pig
roast shortly. He says he wouldn't
keep a "~squealer" so Mr.. Pig must
die to furnish a feast for The
WATERS friends.
Bob" Rippenbein called up on
the phone this morning and asked
me to let the readers of this column
know that he is not the rip" named
by Spodinis yesterday. Bob" says
he never drank a "horse's-neck' and
doesn't wen know how the drink is
made. I will say in justice to the
young man hat the story written by
Spodinis was simply a joke and az
far as 1 know the rip" mentioned
therein was not Bob"
Spodinis's Identity Affidavit.
To enlighten the victims of my
little column regarding the identity
of the undersigned and in vindica-
ton of those who have already been
accused of inventing this little arti-
Gle, 1 herewith submit the following
affidavit, signed and sealed In the
presence of a legal witness:
1 am not Bill H., R. H., Bill R.,
or any other whom anyone has as
yet named, but plain and ordinary
everyday SPODINIS, the guy that
put THE Bell in BELFORD making
1t very characteristic of me to be
continually RINGING in on business
that doesn't concern me.
Hereonto ] set my hand and affix
rNaT ona1 fht1 1 or Ia,r &c
in the year of our LORD nineteen
hundred and twelve.
(Signed) SPODINIS.
Signed and sealed in the presence OF
Perculosis N. p. Of N. J.
II 4 n
Jack and His Dollar.
Although the following little
drama took place many years ago,
and might seem like ancient history
to some, it will no doubt prove in
.teresting to a great many, but in
order to attract the interest of those
not Immediately concerned, it will
be necessary to introduce the char
a%cters, scenes and prevailing circum-
stances:
Jack-The shining light of the
beau-monde. A High School Boy
preparing to enter New York Law
School. Naturalization of his m
billions are now in vogue as he owns
a law Office and commands consider
able practice.
Smuss-Then also a High School
Boy. Now, nearly a benedict.
SINUS was walking down Smith
street with Bill, the GUY that put
the holes in p~eek-a-boo waists, when
Jack appeared on the scene attended
by about five young ladies of the
fashionable set. The following dia-
logue then took place:
(Jack)-'Hello fellows, going to
the beach?"
(Smuss)-"Don't think so?"
(Jackl-'Why-not, are yfu7bf-se
(Smuss) Aren't your"
(Jack)-'Does that look like it?
(Flashing a dollar bill) I'll give it
to you if you need it badly"
tSmuss)-"You are generous
(and grabbing the bill from Jacks
hand walked away. Bill following
with Jack yelling after him..
Jack hadn't the slightest idea that
Smuss would take his dollar, SO you
a imagine his disgust when he
to the TACT that his enron
eous ideas had caused him the loss
of a whole weeks allowance and
while Jack was raving about the
nerve of some peoples children for
separating him from his coin, Smuss
and Bill were enjoying a very de-
lightful time at Boynton Beach.
Many h~ardships did Jack suffer on
account of his loss, but had he con-
sidered the circumstances and
sequences OF his offense he might
have been relieved of the embarrass-
ment of informing his company that
1t would be impossible to go to
Boynton's that evening.
Jack was a member of the Royal
BOOSTERS but on this occasion he
imagined he was a DUCK because
he had a BILL. Too bad he got
Chicken Hearted and clucked later
on.
CDnnINrIo