Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1912-06-17
WAKING UP A
TOWN
By NJ. QUAD
Copyright. 1912. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

slow, the slOwest IN the slater
Yes: business seems to drop OF
little every year." was the reply.
And why are we dead and dying
hereT' asked the deacon as he step
ped up on the platform beside bar!
rel OF kerosene. for II was pOstotiice
and grocery combined.
lie waited till his audience had shut
and pocketed their jackknives and
then answered his own question
because nothing ever happens here.
Does any one dler Do we have any
funerals? Does any one ever get mar
ricd? Does any one steal? Has any
one present even seen dog fight in
the last two years?"
mo. nor
something ought to be done. dea.
con-" suggested voice.
And don't know III Don't we
oil know itr'
Might call public meeting and
resolve" was second suggestion.
Resolve what-that we are going to
the doGsT"
our forefathers did that. and then
we licked the British"
But where's your British TO lick
now? I've been thinking this thing
over for two years. and ! hain't III on
n remedy yet. I've got whole barrel
of molasses In the cellar. and III give
Il to the critter who can wake this
town up"
The critter to do II was right at
hand. The deacon meant human no
ing, but the crlttcr was an old spotted
bull coming down the highway. The
crowd ut the postoflice was scratching
its head and almost tasting that mo.
lasscs when the bull turned IA corner
and saw his golden opportunity. lie
charged with snort and n below.
and after smashing three gates That
were swinging open he WINS Mt the
pustolliCe. He knocked the crowd right
and left lie cleared the platform of
barrels and boxes. lie ran his horns
through windows.
The bull came and saw and did
things nnd went his wny. II was Il
fine beginning TO wake up town
None of the three doctors In II had even
had u case OF measles In six months
Now they had thirteen bull horned and
bull kicked victims to practice On. In
stead OF every light being out by
o'clock they were burning In almus
every house NJ midnight
Next morning the town was early
astir to repair damages and exchange
| opinions. and no one was looking fOI
bull came charging again. Instead al
| being miles away he had slept Just ont
side the town to he ready for mn early
| call. That below was like the fail u
! brick house There were three farm
crS' teams Un the street. early as Il
was. Tp play ball with them was fuI
for the bull. lie put hiS horns uudr
old Mrs. Baxter us she was crOsSin'
the street to borrow an egg and toSS'N
her over u fence 10 come down hea,
first In u tomato patch lie kick"'
Elder Soui hheld In the solar pleXus nnI
knocked him the length of II black
smith shop.
| There was no loafnG on the part o
that bull. He was at work every min
ute OF the time. and when he tinall.
| quit 1t was because there was nothing
more In his line to be done. On thi
occasion our staff correspondent sim
ply teIegraphed:
81 have seen the dead and dying, ant
l have gaZed on the wide wrought de
struction. and am simply overcome.
At shutdown scouts that had BEEF
sent out reported that nothing ha'
been seen of the bull. and 1t was be
lieved that he had retired to som
place where the rates were not to-
high to commit suicide. There wa
great felicitation and an attempt to d
business. but the old bull had foole
Fem. With the same old below. sam
horns. same tail. he came charging 4
for the third time. He was willing I
work overtime without extra pa!
They had axes and clubs and crowbar
and guns ready for him this time. bu
they knew him not.
Abner Goodhuc and his wife wcr
| EDlhS W WV " i'hN
they went inst, lad Aaron I.ittlehel
and his mothcr.in.law were going I
sit up with one Of the injured on tn
first charge. Aaron saved himself h
climbing n locust tree hut the wOmn
was kicked In the head and neve
spoke again. though she lived on Il
twenty years.
There were score more cases III;
|. the above. but our stnff cOrrcspOndrT
didn't particularize lie couldn't, Il
omoti0Hs were too great lie had
simply say:
My grandfather was NJ Gcttyshur
but he saw nothing like this ! simp
stand appalled, and uSk myself who
: who"
II you should enter that town toda
you would find 25.OOO population
. place Of 1000 You would find u brio
pOstofIlCe with lot of old men sittir
around. and one of chem would be liz
~ 10 ask:
Il , In