Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-12-08
Solve the Problem.


Resourcefulness. however, son solved
the problem. a clubman proposed that
the Gridiron men serve the dinner them
selves. OF course, he said it would mean
cutting out the entertainment which had
been provided for the evening. but in .
choice between the delightful menu
which had been prepared and the quips
and quirks of the Gridironers the club
couldn't have the nerve to propose sub
stituting witticisms for terrapin and
Champagne; this was to be no barmecide
feast.
No sooner said than done. Every man
jack of them left his seat and. repairing
to the pantry, donned the discarded
aprons of the striking walters. Fish was
next. and in a few moments the caval-
cade of Gridiron men re-entered the hall
bearing piatters OF fish and the accom-
panying cucumbers.
1t was fairly good job of waiting at
that. To make it more homelike the
walters sat down beside their guests
and ate their own fish Then they clear
ed the cloth and retired in good order.
1t was only a few minutes later when
the leader of the movement entered and
that the strike was over, and
the clubmen reappeared I'm full evening
attire. Then it was that the guests real
ized they had been ''fiimfiammed" on the
strike proposition.
1t was just another of those Grtdiron
pranks. but il had them guessing for
awhile.
Well, with this as a good running s. are.
the dinner proceeded apace and went
thereafter with a whirl.
Bunch of 'Derelicts."
About the Mime the guests were recovcrS
ing from their surprise over the walters
Str il.o fSa ct, blt, ~
derelicts entered tie~ hall. They were
made up to represent John Dalzeil. Nick
Longworth. Senator Crane. Cy Sullo-
way. William B. Mckinley and Uncle Joe
Cannon. They were on crutches. their
hats were battered. their clothes torn and
they We're generally mussed up. With
them was a pseudo William ii. Taft,
spick and span and still wearing the Taft
smile. Also there was a Mormon and a
Vermonter.
II was announced that their mission
was to reorganize the republican party
They groaned down suggestions thai
Hadley, Cummins or La Toilette should
do the reorganizing. and il was finally
decided TO allow Utah and Vermont to
undertaken the task. Nick Lonsworth al
lowed that he would sacrifice all his
wife's relations in the good cause
The mooted question of what name
should be given the new party was re-
solved by Senator Cranes suggestion
that the members be called "Sons of the
Landslide" And il was SO ordered.
Then some one discovered that Utah"
and vermont We're tmposters and. upon
being unmasked. they We're identified
Edward B. Clark Of the Chicago Even
ing Post and Charles l.. heyser of the
st. Louis Globe Democrat. two newly
elected members of the club. who We're
being initiated.
Gatherer of 1.-The Rubbish"
The appearance OF q white wings"
public servant. with complete street para
phernalia. moving about the hall. brought
Indignant protest and query from the
pre- sident.
said the imperturbable white wings as
be pushed his little wagon along"
We'll you are too previous" declared
President Garthe: that is done after the
dinner"
There is a lot that had better be taken
out now.' persisted the white wings.
This Is the kino of junk / am after"
as he picked up set OF bull moose horns
and dumped them in his sack. At that
several members crowded forward with
rubbish"
IF he's collecting that kind OF stun.
here are the last positive predictions OF
Joe Dixon and Charlie HilIes.'' cried a
member.
Here is a lot OF dope from the press
agents." said another.
..Why not dump In the press agentsv.
Because We would lose too many VAL
liable members OF this club" -
Here's that smile that wouldn't come
ofY"
Here's the bluff at big business. ItS
,. K.d by Bill Bryan"
Here's a couple OF old empey WAllVtA