The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1912-09-19
SUBSTITUTE AT WORK
MRS. ROSE LILA BOUNCE ON TO
THE JOB.
OF Course She Had Her Own Ideas
as to Washing Clothes, but They'd
Come Out Whittier Than tho
"DrivIin' Snow"

"Mis Johnsing cayan' come dis morn
in" announced big. strapping col
ored woman, as Mrs Younglove open
ed the front door of her apartment In
response to long, steady peal Of the
electric bell, "her baby might down
sick an she got to stay home an min
1t, so she done sen me as substifuge
reckon All cayn do yo' wash mos
well as she cayn. 'W'ot de matter wifi
de baby% An dunno 'zackly, but 1t
pears to be on de verge OBJ de rackets.
so de doctah say-anyway. w'otever
tbs dat ails de chile, 1t mighty low.
"No'm, All ain had no b'ekfus'. Two
aigs an some sa'sage?' Yaas, l reck-
on dat'll do me-jes' to keep me a-goin'
till you has de lunch ready. No, All
nevah takes coffee. 1t don gree wifi
me an some folks say it turn de COM
| plex-'um dark. Oh, yaas, All cayn
drink tea-or choclit eff yo' has it.
Well, tea1l do eff yo' ain got no choclit.
Ah ain so awful partic'lar.
"Yo' cert'ny is mighty good
COOK admitted the "substifuge," as
she rose from the kitchen table after
somewhat protracted consumption Of
the food provided by Mrs. Younglove.
Now, bout de clos? How yo' wan
'em washed? Evebody has dere own
way, an lakes to obligate de folks
w'uks fo' by doin' 'zackly de way dey's
decustom to have 'em done. Abs allus
comadatin'.
"Dis heyah yaller soap7 Dat w'ot
yo' use? 1t don't wash de clos clean
Well, of co'se eff yo' wan me to use 1t,
an yo' ain got no oder, Ah'll do NAH
bes'-but 1t de wus kim TO- de clos.
"Yo' vans de clos billed! Does yo'
bile you clos? No, m-a-'a-m, All nevah
biles clos. Bilin' jes' discumalates de
dirt t'ro de garminks, so yo' cayn' git
1t out no how. Some ladies dey don
lake bilin' TO- not'in-dey say 1t make
de 'partment small; but mebbe you
don min dat specially now de weder
is cool an de winders is close"
"Aain' yo got no oder starch dan dis,
honey? Tain de kin All luikes. All
know it's call de bes', but Ah nevah
use dat kin down Souf. o, yaas, Ahll
use it eff yo' vans me to, but All won
make no p'edilictions Of how de clos
gwine to look. Yaas, All seen de
wringer ovah by de tubs, but Ah dom
nevah use none. Usin' wringers is jes'
flynn in de face OBJ Providence. How
does All wiring de clo's?" Wy, wifi nah
hans of co'se. OATS de rail proper
way. De Lo'd nevah mean dat wiring
ers should be used, specially on desc
heyah fine pieces. All knows a lady
use to go out washin', she mo- kill
herself usin' n wringer She dismo-
Gated de spine oS her back an 1t nevah
got well no mo-, so one OBJ her shoul-
ders is higher'n de other evah sence.
So yo'll jes' have to 's-c-u-s-e me,
honey, eff All wrings wifi nah two
hans. Say, honey, yo' just leave dis
heyah wash to me. Ahll do de clos
nah own way dis time. Dey'll come
out w'iter'n de drivlin' snow, yo' see
eff dey don.
"W'ot nah name? wy nah name
Mis- Bounce-but yo' cayn call me
Rose Lila, dat nah fus' name. Tain
all de ladies / wuks fo' dat l tells 'em
NAH fas' name, but All lakes you
honey, ain All dom wan no fomentali'
ties bout nah name. New York
Press. -'-''-, + k .. --l.s,! .j..~sA