The Mathews journal. (Mathews C.H. [Court House]) 1903-1937, 1912-10-10
WEEKLY SHORT STORY
A DOMESTIC DIFFICULTY.

Having ordered phone to be put in,
my house was invaded about 10 o'clock
in the morning by two young men,
armed with boundless confidence, a
few tools and a coil OF wire. Demand
ing step ladder, they announced that
they had come to put in the telephone.
L having greeted them with much po-
likeness, mildly indicated the place 1
wished to have the instrument; which
location they Immediately declared to
be an impossible one. So choosing a
place which was to their own taste,
they promptly began to bore holes,
which, had they all been used, would
have provided ME with at least a half
dozen phones.
However, the ways of workmen have
always been, and doubtless will con-
tinue to be, pass the comprehension of
any ordinary mortal; so it will suffice
to say that in the course of an hour
or two of turmoil L found myself pos
sessed of a long coveted telephone.
When the bell rang the first time i
sternly curbed my wild desire TO run
and answer it with all the enthusiasm
of child with new toy, and waited
for my dusky mandmaiden TO attend
to this new duty; rejoicing meanwhile
assured me that she understood all
about it,
A few moments passed, and the
phone bell rung again. SO l went to
see what caused the delay in it's being
answered; knowing that my new maid
Aunt Harriet must have heard it. /
found her standing with arms akimbo,
gazing tXedly at the instrument. Be
fore replying TO my rather SupertluouS
question as TO whether she had heard
the little bell ring, she raised her
hands to heaven, sighed deeply and
with her head tilted to a most ag-
gressive angle, pointed dramatically TO
the telephone:
"Gawd knows L done hear yer a
ringin' en- a haggermerizing all cept
def folks mos inter de grave"
But, Aunt Harriet" l remOnstrat-
ed, you told me that you knew all
about answering phones; and it is
certainly going to ring until you do
answer it."
AS if to bear out this statement, it
gave another wild peal.
Just look at me now,"-I thought
an illustration might help the cause
Il hold this to me ear, SO; then l say
well" or hello and can hear Just
had to interpolate in reply to the
operators question as to whether No.
AIS was o. X. 1T seemed to be all
right" Aunt Harriet you just come
here and try it. 1t is such a nice con-
Venient thing, and it will save my
having to send you on ever so many
messages When you finish talking
you must hang this up, SOL
fas mann, 1 sees; en- l certney see
one fyar sight. You a talking en-
lafhn' inter a lii black cup, en- a hold
In OF sumpin' what looks lax de shoe
shine bottle to 70 year. When l say i
knowed all erbout de tallygraft, twant
no sech thing lax disyer Hit twere one
OF desc here yeller letters what a lii
boy brings yer en- den axes yer ter gle
him quarter fer hit. Den when yer
gifts il open, tant with fl cents bekase
when somebody reads hit ter yer amt
got nothIn' in hit 'cept TO or maybe
six words what yo can't meek out
what dey means lessen tbs how some
body Is daid or else they's gwine be
heap er cumpny ter come on a
'scursion."
Folding her arms. and nodding con-
VlnclngIy, she continued, -"Jus' as
well go long an kill yo chickens en-
WIN NOOhlh OOOn DIS yer see one
OF dem boys pintin' yo way, j say; fer
nut don't mex no diffunce whedder it's
DE daid or cumpny a comm, 70 is
sholy gwine git everything ct I'D fore
night. Miss Mary,-casting a sideways
and most engagin' glance at mel
hopes you is gwine 'scuse me fun a
say1n' nuthin' inter dat thing widout
no hard feelin's agin me; for l tell yer
de Lawd's trufe l haint no use fer
things wild wires to UNI. Skeered of
um, OATS what is! don't just hard
~ ever nix up wild hyar pins. | JUS ac'
so ole tImey l wrops my hyar all de
week ontwell Sunday; den, bein' a de-
gree chief in de Tents of De Bloomin'
Lily''-dats my sassiety you know.
MISS Mary-u has ter put on deep
mournin' en- fix up my hyar mo- dressy
ike. But dem wire hyar-pins is mighty
tax1n, en- dey mostly gies me de haid-
acne After a pause, with a plaintive
sigh she continued "Besides dat.
honey, / knowed a oman once what
got streck by lightenin', on come ter
nm out she had got ON a wire hustle:
DAT she had. 1 amt nuver wo' one
sence' though l got several real good
ones ladies give me when dav got