Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-12-01
Bv Earl Goodwin.

, then. tossing his head, and using that
rare and finely cut sarcasm for which he
\ is famous in two continents, remarked
Il have finished that enormous dinner.
NOW bring me a postage stamp. l want
to do little reading"
| For goodness sake look out for Con-
| ductor S25 on the Capitol Traction line.
| He is a merciless person. Just see what
| he did.
| There was a very nice young woman
who boarded his car on Pennsylvania
avenue and sat down beside the author
| of these lines, and after she had settled
herself comfortably she evidently began
to have some sort Of misgivings about
| where the car was going. So she turned
to the author Of these lines-a perfect
stranger. you know-and said:
will you pardon me II / ask you
whether l can get to the Wisconsin ave-
nue. cars from this line?"
|, Well, one could get to- them, but one
| would have to take long walk.
And l can't transfer"
No. one could not transfer.
But isn't there any line that will
transfer?'
Oh. certainly, there is the F. street
line. always ready to transfer.
And then the discussion grew deeper
and deeper. and finally Conductor S25
was called into conference. He grinned
and said:
''Wanta go to tn Distric' line?"
The young woman said No"
"Wanta go beyond tn Distric' line?'
The young woman said she did not.
And then the car came to dead stop
Everything was STILL and at the right
moment. the moment when one could
asked in his loudest voice:
Say, do you two wanta go to Rock
vi'le?"
And then the young woman. being as
shy as a young gazele and evidently
associating Rockville with nothing else
but Opponents and surprise marriages,
gave long and Mortified glance at Con-
ductor $50 and also gave terrific glance
or anger at the author Of these lines, and
Angus McSween. wild Irishman by birth
and famous newspaper man by develop
ment. has spent much of his working
hours TRADING against the trusts, and
with the vefemence Of his Hibernian ma
ture puts personal touch into his
writings However. he has found a tinge
of sympathy in the great combinations
OF capital. He stopped one day on the
street to admire pair of fine work
horses which were standing hitched to
a Standard Oil wagon They were ele-
CANT animals. aristocrats of their kind
and Angus patted one of them on the
forehead:
DO you know" he said, sometimes
am tempted to forgive the big corpora
tions-they take such elegant care of
their animals"
x :: x
Frank Heaton, newspaper man Of Wash
ington, believes that he is the original
author Of the joke which ends with zone
Of those nice little sparrows must have
told you He says that his wife, in the
days when Heaton was her flance, heard
a s!X-year-old Indiana urchin make that
remark She claims that she was actual
ly there on the spot and that it was
original with the urchin. Frank Heaton
thought a lot Of it. and worked it into
very good anecdote An artist illustrat-
ed 1t and one of the leading humorous
weeklies Of the country featured it, The
Joke and illustration were sold for slJ
And since that time every would-be
humorist who wants to entertain the
Heaton family unleashes that story.
There is large club in the Heaton sit
ting room. and it will be used on the
next man who Starts out with this aged
yarn and who insists that it is the ex-
perience Of his own bright child.