Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-11
VENTURE OF THE LAME AND HALT.
BY Ellis Parker Butler.

~ -
Say! It's sulphur water with a touch
OF garlic" He reached into his pocket
n brought out a flask. The water 1t
contained was as clear and sparkling
as crystal. He removed h cork and
handed the fiask to me. 1 shifted at
1t and hastily replaced the cork.
Perkins grinned with pleasure.
Fierce, isn't it?" he asked. Smells
as II 1t ought to cure. don't it? Got
the real old style matery-medica-
'pothecary-shop aroma. None OF your
little pill. sugar coated business about
O-no-to.cetera water. Not for a min
ute! It's the good old quinine. ipecac.
calomel. know : when-you're-taking-
dose sort. Why, say! Any man that
takes a dose of that water has gor
to feel better. He deserves To feel
better"
shifted at the Task again and reso-
lutely returned 1T to Perkins.
Yes" l admitted. "it has the legal
allowance of smell. There is no doubt
about it being a medicinal water.
Nobody would mistake it for "a
table water, Perkins. A child would
know it wasn't meant for perfume, but
what is 1t good for? What will it cure:''
Perkins tilted his Pratt hat yer
one ear and crossed his legs.
Speaking as one Chicago man to
another he said. slowly, what do
you hin of rheumatism?"
III you want me to speak as man
to- man. Perkins," l replied, II may
say that rheumatism Is a mighty I'M
comfortable disease"
ITS prevalent" said Perkins. eager
ly. Its the most prevalent disease on
the map. The rich must have it: the
poorest can AFFORD 1t; the young and
the old simply roll in it! Why. man.
he exclaimed. "rheumattsm was made
specially for O-no-to-so-forth water.
There's millions and millions of cases
of rheumatism and there's oceans and
ACCOMPLISHMENTS water. Great.
What will cure rheumatism? Nothing!
What will O-no-to-so-on water cure?
Nothing. There you are! They fit each
other like a foot In a shoe" !,
He leaned back n smiled. Then
he waved his hand jauntily i'm the air.
But I'm not PARTIAL" he added. III
cure it. Anything"
Perkins," 1 said. "would you take
this water for rheumatism?"
Would I? Say, If 1 had rheuma-
tlsm I'd live on 1t; I'd drink 1t by the
gallon. I'd battle in it"
He stopped abruptly and a smile
broke forth at one corner of his
mouth and gradually spread over his
face until 1T broke into a broad grin,
which he vainly endeavOred to .stifle.
"Warm!" he murmurer. and then
his grin broadened a little and he NUT
tered-"lukewarm"-and grinned again
n ran his hand through his hair. He
I'm a benefactor! Think of the poor
old people trying to drink that stuff!
Think of them trying to force 1t down
their Threats! 1t would be a sin tu
make a dog drink It,"
aa uy}Ho6 nm onk,,n1 tons FrNrnn lSc
What II I had to drink it! What II
my Door old mother had to drink it!
Cruelty! But W. won't make 'em. We
will be good! We will be generous!
We will be great! We will let them
and night! Lukewarm! Why make
weak human beings swallowed 1t? And
besides. they'll lee more! Think OF
enough O-nO-to-so-forth water to swim
in twice a day! And good old Perkins
paying the freight"
Without another word l reached over
and clasped Perkins by the hand. II
was a silent communion OF souls-Oi
the souls of two live, up-to-date Chica-
goans. When the clasp was loosened
we were bound together. in a noble pur-
pose to supply O-no-to-something va
ter to a waiting, pain-cursed world.
We were banded together like good Sa-
aAaS1l lS6AlS y SupHI b ICIIlGUy 10 IUG
lame n the halt. And Perkins paying
the freight.
Then Perkins gave me the details
There were to be three of us in the
deal. There vas a young man from
Glaubus, Ia, in Chicago, running q
street a on the north side. He had
been raised nea Glaubus, and his
father had owned a farm: but the old
man was no flnancier. and sold of the
place bit by bit, until all that was left
was a a sWamp-.Skunk swamp
they called 1t, because Of the rank wa
ter-and when the old man died the
son came to Chicago to earn a living
He brought along q flask of the swamp
water. 80 that when he got homesick
he could take out the cork, smell II
and be glad he was In Chicago. instead
Of on the old place. Up in the corner
OF the swamp q spring welled up. and
that spring spOuted OnotOwatishika
water day and night, gallons and bar
rels. and Hoods OF 1t.
But 1t needed q Perkins the Great tc
know its value. Perkins smelled Its
value the first whifk he got. He had 8
rough map OF Glaubus, with the skunk
swamp on about q mile to the west.
We patched up the deal The next day.
The young fellow was to have a quar-
ter interest, because he put in the 4(
acres. and Perkins put In his time and
talent for half the balance; and I got
the remainder for my time and money
We wanted h young fellow to take
q third interest and put I'm his time
too: but he said that rather than &C
back to the old place he would take 9
smaller share. and get q Job in some
nice sweet spot, like the stock yards Oh
q fertilizer factory. SO Perkins and
packed up and went out to Glaubus.
When we got within two miles OF
Glaubus Perkins stuck his head out oi
the car window and drew 1t back. Gov.
cred with smiles.
Smell 1T" he asked. Great! You
can smell II way out here! Wait til
we get on the ground: It must b
/ wOnderful."