Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-12-27
then buy three times as much as she

- $3.50. ~ 'SAAtN "'.
marry horny-handed sons of toll. the
future OF this race would be more Sc
cure.
don't understand women and
neither does any other man, and trying
to understand them is too expensive.
l never saw a simple country maiden
who couldn't bunco q man who has
been city broke for so years.
-
THE PROCESSION.
The iceman is Il pleasant soul,
He is d man of cheer.
He drops Il cake within my o
And drinks one pint of beer.
Prom AN old print.
The groceryman delivers eggs.
The henfruit hat most dear,
He puts them in the icebox and
He drinks one pint of beer.
The butchers boy comes with the
steak
And with no shade of fear.
When he has placed it in the chest,
He drinks one pint of beer.
The plumber comes to fix the pipes
And with a knowing leer.
He straighway finds the icebox and
He drinks three pints Of beer.
But when l am athirst myself
And seek the cheer that flows,
And my icebox empty,
And l hustle down to Joe's.
THE PENDULAM OF TIME.
! remember back in sos when Hank
frisby went to school
Everybody in the village had him
doped out fer a fool.
Fer he was SO gol dunn. homely, all the
critics in the place
Said there wasn't no intelligence or
larnin' in his face.
He was tall. rawboned and knock
kneed and as awkward as Il COW,
And the gals they always passed him
by n never smiled nohow.
He was bashful and was awkward and
he seemed to nave no vim.
And the fellows round the school
house always poked their fun at
him.
Nuthin' much was said about it when
he left u town one day,
Hardly anybody knowed the fact that
he had gone away.
once in a while they'd mention Hank
and wonder where he went.
But nobody ever found out, fer they
didn't care a cent.
Nlgh a dozen years passed by and
then one day a thing occurred.
And it caused more lively gossip than
the town had ever heard.
Great big auto came a-tearin' down
the main street with a yank.
And the Teller in h back seat givin'
orders-he was Hank.
Hank had been out west and struck
a vein Of ore both wide and
deep,
And he picked up half a million
while our town folks vas asleep.
When ne jumped out Of his auto full
of vigor and of vim.
You should have seen the town folks
all a toadyin' to him.
He put up a splendid mansion and he
we'd the village belle,
And he has his dinner evenin's-or at
least that's what they tell.
He's mayor now and owns a mill. a
railrud n a bank.
And there's no one in the village who
amt mighty proud of Hank.
STINGY.
That Blinks woman Is the meanest
oma in his town. said Mrs. Jones
to her husband as they sat at dinner
How SO?
Well. we were coming out In the
car this afternoon and / reached In
my bag as though 1 intended to pay
our fares and what do you think the
a little cat did? She let me go on
and do it,"
A MEAN WOMAN.
81 think that Mrs. Jones is the mean
est little cat in this town. remarked
Mrs. Piety Hill to her husband.
How is that. m'dear?" asked I'll.
Hill.
"Well. I had fixed up something real
sarcastic to say to her about her new
hat. and h said the same thing about
mine and said it first"
CAUGHT ON THE FLY.
& Reports Jay o 10000 insects are
known and classified, but even this
number does not include the party who
smokes a cigaret in a telephone booth.
Doctor Abbott says Teddy Roosevelt
drinks nothing but milk and water. But
Teddy Roosevelt isn't that sort of cam
didafe hy anv meana.