Morris tribune., 1912-11-29

Frustrated to the East
And you wouldn't fancy when he quits
His pants were ever creased.
'The Bulgar, on the other hand.
Arises in the dark, ,. '.s...s 80, -,
And while the son of Allah prays,
Is shooting at mark.
He swings an old tomato can
A bit above the ground.
And every time he fires at it
The can goes round and round.
He lays down on his stomach
Behind bale of hay,
And spins the old tomato can
Around the other way. H.. = -.
"He sets little shaving glass s ,s,1,ec
Upright upon his nose.
And rolls the target like wheel.
Performing with his toes.
'He never mentions Allah. -. -: -.
His lips are closed and mute,
And the East is where the sun comes up,
So he can see to shoot.
A soldier of the Sultan
Lay hiding in ditch.
''The trouble with the Turk" he said,
els very plainovitch.
December gets it's name from Latin
deem (ten), there being originally 10
months in the year. Caesar. who was
F~S0 h. III
that it would be easier to pay rent in
IL installments than in 10. and added
two more months. He was assassin
ated by Casca and other real estate
men. but the Julian calender survived
and it was the terror of landlords for
16 centuries.
1t was upon this occasion that
Marc Antony. who was a friend of
Caesar. made the most artful appeal
to human nature in the history of
man. While there had been a great
deal in Caesars career that did him
no credit. Antony made such effective
use of the fact that landlords had
killed him that the people. who were
almost all renters, finally conceived
their own wrongs in the image of Gaze
sar's. and killed every landlord in
town. There is some doubt if Antony's
action was fair, but there has never
been any doubt that if the landlords
had always been fair it could not have
happened.
Alack for Fall could not last.
So wondrous was its beauty.
It fingered here a while and passed.
According to it's duty.
The more enduring sweets of life
Are always rendered tasty
For being scattered through the strife
Like raisons in the pastry.
The Greeks of winter will advance
upon the Turks of Summer, and each
succeeding circumstance will make the
season GUNNER. The fierce Bulgari-
ans of snow will stay the Moslem
weather. and the valiant hired man
will sew six pairs of pants together.
Beware when winter time appears,
and keep the furnace blowing, the
ear-muffs handy to the ears, and the
kitchen water flowing. The plumber
waiteth to devour the first bank roll
that hollers. and a little matter of an
hour will cost eleven dollars.
The hungry wolf will venture out
to sing of beer and skittIes. and make
a prophecy about the pauc ty of vict-
uals. He'll cite the present plight of
man, when eggs are worth a nickle,
and laugh to think of when we can
not even buy pickle.
The Democrats have swept the earth
But. it didn't help tbs chickens.
IT eggs persist at what they re worth,
1t means the very dickens.
We needed that reform at once,
And leaving US this menace,
For all it's legislative stunts,
The party's name is Dennis.
A greater task than tariff cuts, is
that which touches chickens. We're
feeding them on cocoanuts. and still
the problem thickens. A hen is lay
ing no more food than if she were to
Qrackle and the prnafar uunohor sooro