The Wagner leader. (Wagner, Charles Mix County, S.D.) 1912-1912, 1912-03-15
MFANEsT MEN wE HAyjs NET.

MEANEsT MEN WE HAVE NET.
The gentleman who gets q haircut
In the barber shop when we are wait
| ing for a shave
He who goes in on a 8 and knocks
| the show.
The intellectual person who criti-
cixes another's work and can't do half
as well himself.
The busybody who gets up q surprise
! party.
The hair Drained galoot who treads
all over your feet In the street car and
then says: Il beg your pardon"
The ma who returns your snow
shovel In the spring and exchanges 1t
for your lawn mower.
The barber who fills your ears with
lather so you can't hear the story the
gentleman in the K chair Is telling.
He holds the championship mean man
belt.
ACCORDING TO UNCLE ABNER-
There is never much harm in q
mandolin player-when he amt playing
It.
1t looks as though the outcome of the
election in this country Is going to be
| purity close A straw vote was TOOK at
: T1bbitt's general store last night and
the result was as follows: Roosevelt, /;
/ Taft. 1; La Toilette, /; Cummins, /:
! LAaii " 4 AIaLtlSOu, WILSON,, II.
Underwood. /: Bryan. /: Clark, l..
| 1t doesn't look as though there is
going to be much farm work done this
year IL the politics hold out.
When a Teller learns how to run his
automobile. 1t is time to buy a new
/ machine.
| 1t seems strange, but almost every
/: body lives next door to some mean
critter who won't shovel the snow OF
! his walk.
! If all the proposed railruds were built
there wouldn't be room for a single po-
later patch from Maine to Californy.
If you fold up the napkin it is a sign
/ that you expect to be invited to eat
another meal in the house and IL you
dcn't fold 1t up it is a sign you are q
boor, SO what is a Teller to do? Hank
Tumms solves the problem by sticking
the napkin in his pocket and taking IL
home Wit him.
Who kin blame the wimmen for get
ting into politics and business when
most Of the beauty dope and advice to
mothers for the Sunday papers is writ
ter by men?
I never see a Teller who travelled
through the vest. but what came back
with the firm impression that there is
going to be a great revolution In poll
tics.
WHEN MAGGIE SINGS.
No ordinary voice in hers,
Because, O see. it really stirs
The souls of those who listen and
Her kind of music understand,
There's not another of its kind
That any n can call TO mind.
It's plain to see she has a tone
That's really, truly, all her own.
No TretaZZini or Calve car ever hope
to sing the way
That Maggie does when she Ia right
For her accustomed vocal flight.
Life loses all it's other strings
When Maggie sings.
When Maggie sings My Rosary"
n folks who listen must agree
No one on earth could initiate
Her technique and that's safe to state.
Her audience beneath her sway,
Sees other troubles pass away.
They float on a mysterious sea
Where they had never thought to be.
The universe seems to stand still.
A feeling strange Just seems to thrill
Them and a CHASTITY message send
That this world is about to end.
| always wish it would, by jings,
When Maggie sir15s:
HINTS FOR GOOD COOKS.
There is always n sure way to
tell when an egg is bad. Boil ii soft
and then open 1t with a common case
knife or spoon. If it is bad, you will
not be left long in doubt.
A very good substitute for maca
roni when company ONE unexpect-
eddy is white clothes line. 1t can be
cut up into any lengths desired and
boiled until quite tender. Then pour
on the melted cheese and the tomato
sauce and nine out of ten guests who
have eaten home cooked macaroni be-
fore will not know the difference.
Salad 6rnSSfnO ran he made re al
most anything, but the best imitation
| of the genuine can be manufactured
by taking we teacupsfull of gasoline,
a pint of ammonia. three tablespoons
full Of cod yer oil n a jigger of axle
grease. 1t would take an expert tn
detect the fact that 1t was an imita-
ton.
Corned beef and cabbage makes a
dainty lunch for an afternoon tea. The
boiling cabbage gives the house a
homelike atmosphere and will pre-
vent the guests from staying too long.
Home made brown bread is always a
treat. Mix first your dough and the
mold it into nice round loaves. Your
husbands silk hat will make an ex-
cellent mold. II he hasn't got a silk
hat have him go to a banquet and get
one by leaving Is minute ahead of the
other guests.
ADAM.
Take of your hats to Adam for he
was a lucky man.
He never had to eat stale fruit out of
an old tin can.
He simply had to sit dead still. The
fruit fell from the trees
Whene'er the garden was bestirred by
any vagrant breeze.
@ V~
f<1 NNAAyHSlHV. W.An...I
OLD ADAM !IENER HAD
10 DODGE a SIXTT