Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1912-02-14
MADE VOTES COUNT
River Front Sage Discourses
on Politics in Days Agone.
BRASS "KNUCkS' IN VOGUE
Won Many an Election Back Where
Shorty" Ferris Lived.
GANG RULED WITH IRON HAND
Recalls Only Speech Boss "Dinny"
Mahoney Ever Made Dur
ing Campaign.
BRASS "KNUCks" IN VOGUE
GANG RULED WITH IRON HAND

the crew of the bugeye Roosevelt as that
vessel tapped idly In the only unfrozen
| space of water anywhere near the dock
The crews name was Keg Finney, and
he had been asking the river front sage
something about politics. Said Shorty:
II notice that some O. these yer local
politicians are bawlin' each other out on
tn supposition that some six or eight O.
tn forty-tive hun'ered ballots cast in tn
Republican primaries was dishonust Yo'
DON know what a dishonust ballot is
until yo' see 5000 of 'em dumped all at
wanst in a ballot box like they shoot
coal into tn hold o wan O. them Norfolk
steamers. TIL microscopic politics O. tn
| disenfranchised Deestrict o. Columbia
doesn't give a really dishonust politician
a chanst.
Il see that one Of 'em tried to protect
the peoples rights by grabbin tn bal
lot box and maxim toward tn river.
whole city by tn t'roat and cast a train
load o ballots amy way tn boss told us
to. After a bit that got little too crude.
We had to try another scheme. so when
ever we suspected fellah was goin' to
vote tn wrong way we took his ballot
away from him. Manny's tn time I've
been an election judge and mannys the
time I've taken a misguided individual
from tn other side by tn arm.
Brass ''Knucks" Got the Votes.
1T is this says I, shown him
row o brass "knucks,'' or is it this says
1. handin' him ballot already marked.
'Manny's the election that has been won
on tn brass knuckle ballot. Yove got to
run meetin's and yo've got to have
speeches, but for all that it was the art
of making one vote count as eight that
used to win tn day out where I come
from
II used to vote, Keg. I made money
in them days. In this town / voted in
we had bunch of aldermen that were
famous fer many things, an one Of 'em
was that no photographer had ever been
able to induce them to pose in a group.
That sort of evidence has sometimes con-
victed the wisest crooks that ever blew
safe.
"Dinny Mahoney. tn president OF tn
board, never had been to school but one
day in his life, but he could make tn
finest cross mark fer a signachoor yo
ever saw. He controlled tn pick an
shovel vote in eighty-six districts. He
held office fer seventeen years, an no
wan could beat him durin' that time, be-
cause he had a standin' agreement with
tn hackmen. Dyo' understand? No.
buddy but him could float voters around
town in hack on election day. He had
dll III HdChS. I<SCIlOu Jay looked ike
a funeral fer hacks. Yo'd see 'em
stringiR around and around, stoppin' at
every ballot box till yo'd get dizzy.
They was strong hacks. too.
Small Hacks Hurt the Cause.
They don't make EN- SOS they'll hold
eight voters apiece amy more. Dinny
begun to lose power when tn hackmen
introduced more conservative style O.
transport that I'D hold only five voters.
That was what Doc Davidson would call
the cycle-orgical moment for tn ray
form, an evenchooly it swept tn city
bpt strange to say tn rayformers found
Dinny had swept it clean. When tn
rayform mayor started in to root out tn
graft, he found Dinny had rooted it all
up and taken it wit him.
'Dinny sat back in his chair an run
things wit a. cigar in his face. He never
sad much, but l guess if he had a laugh
in his system he wud split himself when
he. heard a campaign outfit maxim
speeches about American craftsmanship
A statesman out where l come from look
ed fine on a platform but he was more at
home hgurin up where he could come in
when tn jobs was distributed. Dinny
didn't waste no time speakin' pieces. nor
listening to many of em. After bunch
o them fellahs that can speak on amy
side of amy question for $40 speech
got trough hollerin' Their arms off fer
tn Honorable Click McGluck, sayin' he
was a man who typified tn highest prin-
ciples av American craftsmanship an all
that bunk stuff, McGluck's manager
would go round and see Dinny. Dinny
never took it in checks either. If Nc
Glucks manager cow Dinny, tn
hackmen would be instructed to deliver
so many cargoes o McGluck voters as
often as possible before tn polls closed.
Cora1al Y~xo nree,
"Wanst Dinny made a speech--only
wanst. TIL boys was in bad an needed
encouragement Bill Grogan-who after
ward made a million dollars on the city
grave-digging contract-rounded up a
bunch O. rough necks an made Dinny sit
on tn platform. Yod ought to heard him
holler when they hired him a dress suit.
1 fought they'd have to give him knock
out drops before ever they could slip him
into it.
LIT binds me here says Dinny
"'G'wan, says Grogan, it's tn only
way to show tn silk stockin' element
who yare.
'somebodyll say LUX like corpse
in ut says Dinny.
''Th' wish is always father to tn
thought responded Grogan.
"Dinny sat there perspirin' like wan of
them fellahs that works tn force draft
shift on a battleship. If hadn't of boot
legged him a couple O. quarts l think he
would died that night. Between suferin'
wit thirst an tryin' to remember tn
fine speech wan of thim> reporter guys
had wrote out fer him Dinny was about
as comfortable as a guy that wakes up
after a celebration and finds himself in
a strange ash bin.
ITO make matters worse fer Dinny,
they rung in a college perfessor to give
| tn ticket some class. He had ter speak
| just before Dinny was scheduled. TIL
| perfessor says somethin' like this:
"'Of course. it's wan of tn leadin'
economical tenets Of our party that the
demand should always be equaled by tn
supply, an that congestion of supplies.
| due to what is commonly known as q
corner in tn products of tn food and
clothin' centers, will lead to an era of
| high prices. l believe it should all be
distributed 50 as to give every wan a
fair chanst.'
| Straight From the Shoulder.
Somebody hollered 'Hoorayr about
that time. an Dinny jumped to his feet.
His collar bust of at tn buttonholes,
his necktie was trailin' down his back,
he tossed his speech tn guy had written
| him over into tn orchestra chairs. and
| begun:
Looky here. youse guys. Can that
| soft stuff. Can 1t. II youse boneheads
don't stop this yer Sunday school tall
| and get out and dig up q few t'Ousand
| votes yO,,r naYfl address will he in Ri