The Pioche record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1908-1925, 1912-09-14
CONCERNING GIRLS
AND GOLD BAGS

and edged away IrolH tine soiu mesa
bag carelessly thrown down beside
her.
TAKE II away" she ordered. It's
a solid one, as can easily see, and 1t
makes me nervous to be near it! I'm
afraid Of their influenced Now, l can
face a German silver gold washed one
without fiinching;. but run me up
against a solid gold bag and begin to
get chills and fever. ] guess 1t is be.
cause ! am always so overpowered by
the thought of several hundred dollars
tied up in such small bit of frivolity.
Now, if I owned one--if, that is,
some relative should catch: me and
bind and gag me and thrust. a solid
gold bag upon me by main force-l
think | should devote the rest of my
life to sheltering Il and giving it the
reverence which was its due. l know
| should wakep in the night with
shrek, thinking had not locked it up
in the jewel case. that was In the Sc
cret drawer of the time-lock safe be-
hind a padlocked closet door.s' And
know that in my waking hours
should either sit upon it or wear II =.
chained to me.
"That is why the women who actual
ly do own solid gold bags make me so
nervous. The minute you possess one
1t is the correct thing to act as though
it were the mud under your feet or as
though you were SO sick of having
them cluttering up your pathway that
you simply couldn't stand it another
minute! You can't belong to the clan
at all unless you learn to scatter your
bag around recklessly where people
will find it and have heart disease for
fear they won't get it back to you be-
fore you have called out the police re-
serves and set them on their. trail.
ut is always the people who don't
own them who do the worrying.
"Why, once knew man who used
to run around with a girl, who owned
solid gold bag, and she carried It
upon every occasion, Of course. She
used to drop 1t between seats at the
theater and remember she had done
oo NhSh lhSy NSlC ulGC-uuai ttl . VI
the way home. And then the man
would be obliged to spend the rest of
the night chasing up janitors and box
office men and routing them out of
bed and groveling under parquet seats
or travelling miles to the residence of
the usher on that aisle and having a
talk with him.
The bag always was found, OF
course, and the person finding it was
only too tickled to get rid Of it and
perfectly delighted to pass it over to
the. harassed young man. But that did
not help much at or 5 or 6 o'clock in
the morning, when he was due at. the
office again at s, If this particular
girl did not drop it at the theater she
would leave 1t on the table at the
cafe, and then, when she telephoned
! this unfortunate young man at a. m.
that she had Just remembered doing
so and would he very much mind
seeing about it, he knew he was in for
a near-riot with all the walters at that
restaurant and that he would never
| dare face the naughty head waiter in
that particular place again, even If all
the other restaurants burned up and
he had to starye to DEATH Really, by
the end Of the, winter he was the most
popularity hated young man in town at
restaurants and box offices.
"Once she lost. it on the suburban
train, discovering the fact when they
arose to leave. She said, of course, he
could easily find it., Showing her into
her front door the, young man tore
back to the station and caught the
same train on its return trip to town
| and tackled the conductor, pop-eyed
with anxiety and responsibility and
hopelessness. Gold bag?' repeated the
conductor casually. 'Sure-here it is!
l picked it up right after you left!'
"But the unlooked-for luck was too
much of a shock for the young man
and he gurgled and fell all in heap
When he had quite recovered from
his illness he went away quickly and
married a girl who had never in her
life owned anything more elaborate
than a 1898 bargain mesh bag that
looked its price. $50.
There was another woman with a
solid gold bag who spent her summer
at the lake last year and who used to
leave the bag on logs in the woods OF
on steps when she went calling on the
cottagefs. The children, finding it on
the steps. would gleefully bury it in
their sand forts and. forget all about
what they had done, and then fol
hours all the resorters and inn serv
ants would madly search for that bag
When they had. uprootetd an the
shrubbery and devastated their homes
and politely accused everybody else
and when nearly all the maids and
nurses had burst into tears ant
thrown up their positions, somebody
would, accidentally kick over the SAND
fort and fall upon the bag with a yell
OF joy. Then every one would NOR
her or his fevered brow and call fol
lemonade and fans and talk about how
they hated that woman. She actual,
seemed to enjoy the commotion she
caused every day or SO and when SHE
left they gave her big party, they
were SO glad to be rid of her.