The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1912-05-14
TRUE IRISH BULLS.
They Have a Pungent Flavor Pc
culiar to the Green Isle.
BLUNDERS LINKED WITH WIT.
All Nations Mix Metaphors and Per-
petrate Self Contradictory Figures
Of Speech, but the Emerald Brand
Holds the Prize For Point and Vieor.

| G. Percy, the author, contrasts the
| English and Irish variety to the ad-
vantage of the. latter. Although the
most diverting bulls are usually ia
thered upon Irishmen, they have not
| by any means monopoly. All nations
mix metaphors and fall into self con-
! Trajectory blunders. Englishmen make
bulls probably just AZ often as Irish
men, but there is difference. The
English ones are seldom amusing.
The Irish ones almost always are.
Mr.. Gladstone never limited at Irish
blood In his veins yet he once warned
an NJ I. that II was no use for him
"to shake his head in the teeth of his
own words" Mr.. Balfour has spoken
Of "an empty theater of unsympathet-
ic auditors" Lord Randolph Churchill
referred to an item of national credit
as "a mere flea bite In the ocean of
our expenditure" If further proof be
called for it was Yorkshireman who
told a meeting of shareholders in some
! place Of entertainment at Leeds that
"they had been catering for class
I
goes to Bradford" 1t was an English
chairman of a railway company who
said "it would pay better to carry
third class passengers for nothing
rather than let the tramways get
them"
Why Is 1t. then. that bulls are sup.
posed to be native to Ireland? 1t can
hardly be for the reason that they are
supposed to take their name from
certain Obadiah Bull, an Irish barris.
ter, who practiced in London during
the eighteenth century. Mr.. Percy ac-
cepts this derivation. though there is
another which relates the name with
the traditional remark of the timid
woman who was afraid to cross a
field full of cows in case one of them
might be a bull" That has the flavor
of the true Irish bull. 1t is pungent,
sharp to the point. The meaning
flashes out quick and clear. Other
bulls result from a lack OF oil In the
headworks. Irish bulls are really due
to mental quickness, which takes a
short cut rather than the high road
and relies upon the hearers to show
equal agility. That is why they leave
an impression, while the bulls OF other
nations pass unnoticed or fade directly
from the mind.
Here, for example, is delightful
ellipse. One woman, describing anoth-
er, said: "She would talk the head off
you. | am hoarse listening to her"
Most of us have felt that, but it need
ed real wit to phrase 1t so aptly. Quite
as funny. though less witty, was the
advice given to cyclists In an Irish
paper, "rhe best way to pass COW on
the road when cycling is to keep be-
hind it," One is reminded of the man
who said there was only one way to
make Il donkey follow yOu-that was
to go behind and push. The same writ.
er on cycling once selected "a shady
shine" II was he, too. who described
some one as having received "a grand
reception when he went away"
In Irish political speeches bulls
abound The speakers are carried
away by their subjects and their elO.
quence Images leap to their lips and
are uttered before their incongruity
Thomas Myles In Dublin during the
Boer war-"why should lrishmen stand
with their arms folded and their hands
in their pockets when England calls
for aid?" Lord Russell of Killowen
was denouncing II coercion bill in 1850
and It's Interference with free speech
"If this measure is passed." he declar-
ed, mo man in Ireland will be able to
speak on politics unless he Is born deaf
and dumb" MIR. O'Shea, NJ. r., drew
Il pite0us picture OF the desoation of a
farm in ireland. "Is II not a fact" he
asked. that me only living animals
on this farm are the seagulls which tiy
: over it,"
; In every one of these cases the bull
: far from being source Of confusion
, adds immensely to the effect of the ar
gument There are bulls, however
even In Ireland. which are born OF
sheer muddleheadedness. Such was
the remark OF the Dublin university
freshman who was dared to "lepp" &
broad aud muddy ditch in College
park. Sure" he said, "if | jumped
across that would fall In the middle
before ! got halfway" That was yer
bal carelessness. 1t was something
more than this--it was inability t.
think clearly-which made an old lad,
say one sunday when the porch wa'
inconvenlently crowded after church
'If everybody else would do ms | d.
and stay quietly in their seats till ev
cry one had gone out there would b'
no crush at the door"
In between these comes a class o
bull which is neither Illuminating no
confusing. but which arises from I
constitutional bluntness of intellect
To this class belongs the reply OF
servant to her mistress question. "Wh'
was that at the front door" "A gen
tleman looking for the wrong house
ma'am," the servant said. Il did no
know the man was alive until | saw