Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1912-09-17

greeted with salvo, and Latino
said to Jimmie: II apologize TO
everything l have said-and thought
about you He turned to the porter
'"There amt any law against givin
this way, is there?"
The porter grinned: "Not If you-al
bride the exercise-inspector" And n
held out a glass for the bride, mur
muring, Don't git tired as 1t wa
poured He set it inside his sanctun
and then hustled round with ice-tillet
glasses and a siphon.
When Little Jimmie offered Of tn,
flask to DR.. Temple. the clergyman
put out his hand with politely hor
rified: mo, thank YOU"
Lathrop frightened him with sud
den comment: Look at that gesture!
Doc, I'd almost swear you were par
son."
Mallory whirled on him with the
eyes of hawk about to pounce, and
'The very ideal" was the best dis
claimer DR.. Temple could manage
suddenly finding himself suspected
Ashton put in with, "The only way
to disprove it, Doc, is to join u.s."
The poor old clergyman, too deeply
involved in his deception to brave
confession now, decided to do and
| dare all. He stammered, "Er-ah-
certainly" and held out his hand for
his share of the poison. Little Jim.
ME winled at the others and almost
filled the glass. The innocent doctor
bowed his thanks. When the porter
reached him and prepared to ill the
remainder Of the glass from the
siphon, the parson waved him aside
with misguided caution:
mo, thanks. I'll not mix them"
Mallory turned away with a sigh:
"He takes his straight. He's no par
son."
Then they forgot the doctor in
curiosity as to Lathrop's sudden
spasm of generosity-with Yelling
tons liquor. Wedgewood voiced the
general curiosity when he said:
Whats the old woman-hater up to
now?"
"Woman-hater?" laughed Ira. Its
the old story. I'm going to follow
Mallory's example-marriage."
Il hope you succeed" said Mallory.
wherever did you pick up the
bride?" said Wedgewood, mellowing
with the long glass in his hand.
Brides are easy" said Mallory,
with surprising cynicism. where do
you get the parson?"
"Hang the parson," Wedgewood re-
peated. who's the gel?"
I'LL bet know who she u.s." Ash.
ton interposed; "it's that nectarine OF
a damsel who got on at Green River"
mot the same!" Lathrop roared.
II found my bride blooming here all
the while. Girl I used to spark back
in Brattleboro, vt. I've been vowing
for years that I'd live and die an old
maid. I've kept my head out OF the
moose all this time-till I struck this
train and met up with Anne. We got
to talking over old times-waking up
old sentiments. She got on my nerves,
I got on hers. Finally said. 'Aw.
hell, let's get married. Save price OF
one stateroom to China anyway She
says, Damned II ! don't!'-or words
to that effect" !
Mallory broke IN with feverish IN.
terest: But you said you were going
to get married on this train i
Nothing easier. Here's howl" and
he raised his glass, but Mallory hauled
1t down to demand: How? that's
what I want to know. How are you
going to get married on this parson-
less express. Have you got a little
minister in your suitcase?"
Ira beamed with added pride as he
explained:
well, you see, when I used to
court Anne had rival-Charlie Sell
by his name was. thought he cut
me out, but he became clergyman
in Utah-Oh. Charlie! I telegraphed
him that was passing through Og-
den, and would he come down to the
train and marry me to charming
lady. He always wanted to marry
Anne. thought 1t would be burned
good joke to let him marry her-to
me-"
"Ddid he accept?" Mallory asked.
excitedly, lis he coming?"
"He is-he did-here's his tele.
gram" said Ira. "He brings the II.
cense and the ring" He passed 1t
over, and as Mallory read it look
of hope spread across his face. But
Ira was saying: "We're going to have
the wedding obsequies right here In
this car. You're all invited. Will you
Gomez"
There was general yell of accept.
ance and Ashton began to sing,
There Was I Waiting at the Church
Then he led sort of Indian war.
dance round the next victim of the
matrimonial stake. At the end Of the
hullaballoo all the men charged their
glasses, and drained them with an up.
roarious "How!"
Poor DR.. Temple had taken luxurl.
GUS delight In the success OF his dis.
guise and in the prospect of watch.
ing some other clergyman working
while he rested. He Joined the dance
as gaily, II not as gracefully, as any
Of the rest, and in a final triumph of
recklessness, he tossed OF bumper
Of straight whisky.
Instantly his Howl" changed to
"Wow!" and then his throat clamped
fast with a terrific spasm that flung
the tears from his eyes. He bent and
writhed in silent paroxysm till he
was pounded and shaken back to life
and water poured down his throat to
reopen passage.
The others thought he had merely