davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30

buried alive. Ee was then rational,
however, and while, the refinery en-
Dloyees struggled to free him from
lie quagmire told them his name and
address.
II required more than half an hour
0f hard work to save Anderson. When
/ Id was finally rescued his talk became
INDIFFERENT It appeared from what
] ~ said that he had rowed across
cea riaet TIL expectation OF catching
M uil Steamer and seeking a chance
10 york his way to Alton on the boat.
Ae sank In the quieksand while try
ing to make a landing.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
Quite The Thinn.

Il told you that If you came tomor-
row morning would give you the
money for my wash. Why did you
come tonight?' said Miss Philis to the
daughter Of her laundress.
II know you said tomorrow morn
In" responded the girl, "but me moth
er she told me to come tonight, cause
she was afraid you might be gone
away by tomorrow mornin'."
Il certainly should net go without
paying my laundry BILL" said Miss
PhiHs sharply. No respectable WON
an would do such thing"
"Oh, yes, ma'am, they would" re.
piled the child knowingly. There's
lots Of respectable ladies does.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
'sIVEs 70 CHIN IN
1RfACHER0US SAND
d, afraid of Being Buried Alive
y becomes Insane After Sink
ind Into Quieksand.

.I,,.-Although he escaped
Aa ], alive in quicksand. being drawn
ls1'a ne earth until only his head was
i1ss - ; ChEcagoan was driven in
slsu's = his terrifying experience on
!s y ~, = bank Of Wood river, about
sns ~ aoi,eg below Alton. He said he
s sssp' i 4 Anderson. sixty years old,
sas No, his home was e52 Fifty-firss
saa - kfter being rescued he was
sns. y st Johns hospital in Alton.
~ ~ man had sunk to his chin In
,.ss.nd when his faint cries were
qs, ID Il two Standard Oil employees
n.s's u,are awaiting the arrival Of a
va with supplies for a refinery
a "a t was evident he had suffered
u from the thought Of being
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
Truth About Old Ace,

George F.Baer, the famous Phila-
delphia railroad man. said on his
SEVENTEEN birthday:
II agree with Professor Metchnikofi
about the wisdom OF the old. Profess
sor Osler made it fashionable to de
cry gray hairs, but my experience has
been that the old not only possess
wisdom, but they seek it Also
With a smile Mr.. Baer added:
1.-THE only people who think they
are too old to learn are those who
really are too young
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
FRESH AIR The FIRST
or ALI, MEANS OF IMPROVING
COMPLEXION, THE BEST.
no Cream, Lotion, or Bleach Can Be
Compared to it-PEoperly Feed
the Lungs at Night as Well
~ as Day.

How large part does fresh air
play in the numerous plans you are
making for Improving your looks? Is it
not true that you have alreas selected
The cream and lotion you will use, and
the kind of bleach you think you will
prefer? believe that you have even de-
cided which new face powder you will
try in place of the old which has
proved unsatisfactory. But how about
your plans for the greatest beautifer
Of all, fresh air?
Not fresh air once In while, when
you happen to go out doors-not even
the daily airing out of your living
rooms or the ofdce-not the tiny crack
at the top of the window which let's in
an occasional Whit Of fresh air when
the wind happens to blow On the side
of the house where your sleeping room
is situated. Not one or all of these
precautions will answer the purpose.
If you would be really beautiful; II
you would have a clear complexion
with that indefinable bloom which Is
SO fascinating; II you would have
bright eyes and peachblow tints, you
must have fresh air, not occasionally,
but all the time. Your lungs must be
supplied with oxygen in order that the
blood which circulates through your
veins will be the rich, red blood that
brings health and vitality and a good
digestion.
If.fresh air is good for you at any
time, there is no time when it is not
good for you If your lungs need fresh
air in the daytime, they certainly need
1t at night. Fresh air means clean air;
air which has not become vitiated with
waste matter. You would hesitate to
take into your stomach anything you
knew was not cleanly, but do not stop
to realize that frequently the air you
are taking into your lungs is positive
" unclean, unwholesome and I'M
healthful?
The first rudiments OF hygiene will
teach us the necessity for fresh air il
we would be beautiful. We can also
make an almost immediate demonstrar
tton for ourselves, because a salloW
| 6hln WILL gSdcW 1ueSl hO4
In less than week when the constant
inhalation OF perfectly fresh air has
replaced the careless habit of breath
ing vitiated air from unventilated
rooms.
II you are troubled with pimples and
eruptions of the skin, fresh air may not
eliminate them entirely, but it will be
of great assistance. II your eyes are
not bright, and your head feels dull
and stupid, try the open air remedy for
tWenty-four hours Of the day. can
almost guarantee that the dul1ness will
vanish and not return till you are COM
PEELED to spend another day in an at.
mosphere that has been breathed and
rebreathed, till it is not fit for a hui
man being to dwell in.
So great is my faith in the many
benefits to be derived from the con-
slant dwelling in an atmosphere that
is clean and wholesome and pure, that
believe / would suggest fresh air as
the first requisite for beauty, and then
follow with the list Of creams and To-
tions and bleaches and depilatories
and all the other desired and desirable
beautifers.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
The Crooked Way. 4

District Attorney Whitman OF New
York, according to the Washington
Star, was talking about the sad case
OF western banker who had stolen
a great sum from the depositors.
The man, said Mr.. Whitman,
lived beyond his means motor cars,
house with eleven baths, son at col
lege, daughter coming out, wife hun
cry for diamonds. The inevitable re-
suit followed.
Mr. Whitman smiled and ended:
The unfortunate fellow got strait
ened, SO he became crooked
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
ESCAPED the Worst of Il.

The worst things are the Affections
that have never happened. Bobby had
just been soundIy spanked for falling
into the creek. "Gee!" he exclaimed,
rubbing the seat Of punishment,
what wouldn't have got II had
drowned? ''
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
Probably Prize Crouch.

a grouchy butcher, who had watch
ed the price Of porterhouse steak
climb the ladder OF fame. was deer
In the throes Of an unusually bad
crouch when wou1d-be customer, s
years old, approached him and handed
him a penny
Please, mister, want a cents
worth of sausage.
Turning on the youngster with q
growl, he let forth this burst Of good
salesmanship:
Go smell O. the hook. New Or.
leans Daily States.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
From a aPerpIexed Man,

Sometimes young woman is very
friendly in speaking when she enters
the dining-room; again she does not
recognize me. Since consider that
it is her place to speak first, am not
justified in not noticing her here
after?-A Perplexed Man.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
English Stump Speech.

A correspondent, "Old Briney,"
sends us the following specimen of
frenzied stump oratory: ..Feller
blokes! Thanks ter tn guy'menr, yer
got yer d'minishin wage. and yer lit
tie loaf, an all that. fWotcher got
ter do now is ter go fer devil-ootion
and local anatomy, an go it blind.'
cloud cheers London Globe.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30

You may have your own cards right
now, although until you make your
debut your name is supposed to be
on your mothers card to use in max
ing formal calls and for invitation
purposes, but there are SO many occa.
sions where a girl needs her own
card. Have Miss" and your name.
be It short or long, engraved in full,
no abbreviation or prehxing Initial
before a name
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30

would be really sure that the per
son in question was Intentional in not
noticing me, and as it is conceded that
woman has the privilege Of being
the first to show recognition. If she
continued to ignore my presence ]
should certainly give no evidence that
knew she was on earth.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30

The best man with the groom en-
tiers the church from the vestry and
with the minister awaits the coming
of the bride, who is first preceded by
the ring bearer, then the honored
maid, and last the bride on the arm
Of her father, or whoever gives her
away. II there is no one to do this
she may enter alone.
At that season of the year you
could serve chicken or sweetbreads,
creamed in heart-shaped pastry shells,
sandwiches of brown and white bread,
olives, sailed nuts, a salad with
waters, coffee, ice cream and Of course
the traditional wedding cake. Slip
pers of white or pink or tiny white
satin bags filed with candied pulled
rice are pretty for souvenirs instead
of wedding cake boxes.
Good form requires a separate invi-
tation for each unmarried member of
a household; the ''and family" Is
strictly out Of date Economic In
some other way, but not on your inv3
tations.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
Ban Full Dress Suits.

ssss soarg supt. Heeter has placed
xrs AZ " tall dress suits at high school
d ~ IONS. Incidentals" amounting
III ne done away with SO that
cop. sslthy students can finish the
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
Laced Too Tlaht.

!, Dakeahead, England.-Leslie Glow
IA, sa himself into the highest Of
~ eofsets to take part in an anna
e \, alanatlc entertainment. Then
d. .sa q asphyxiation. Doctors said
VIZ L.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30

II there is only one maid she imme-
diately precedes the bride to the al
tar, stands by her side, holds her
bouquet and throws back her veil If
she wears one. II Is customary for
her to stand by. her side when re-
ceiving, but this is not always done.
/ fancy the crepe meteor is softer
and prettier for your gown than mar
quisette.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
!. Sets Precedent.

sn n, Y-For the first time
nd ~ Catholic priest sued for
shen = !, ices for a requiem mass.
eaureb a'aef Taafe of st. Patrick's
sllss. as granted s32.ss By Justice
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
I An Underworld.

You say you saw New York's I'M
derWorld ?" said the Mortified relative.
oh, yes" replied Mrs. McGudley.
And consider it very neat and in
teresting. I think every large city
ought to have a subway system"
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
Changed It's Species

Wasn't the forbidden fruit an ap-
ple?"
Eyes, but at the time Eve handed
1t to Adam, 1t was a lemon
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30

II is indeed the correct form for
young men to make party calls after
having partaken Of q persons hos
pItality, but few Of them do it-mores
the pity. Misses Is usually pre-
ceded by the word "the." and sounds
exactly as IL spe.led Mrs"
MADAME MERRL
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
Al q a. M.

Mrs. Klatter-What is it a sign
Of when a man stumbles going up
stairs?
Mrs. Klubmann-T know very well
what it's sign Of when my husband
does 1t.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
COLD rsLoopEp AND

Chills: Rev James Reed. Gainesville Tex, wrote:
~ hnye used your Cheathanl's Chill Tonic In my
family ana can recommend it to everyone affected
ofher Remedies failed Price 3d.. Sold and guar
anfeed by oil dealers 4. b. Richards Medicine Co.,
sherman, Texas Adv.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces infiamma-
tom, allsys pain, cures wind collie, CSC bottie.h
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
Duties of a Bridesmaid.

Please state the duties Of a brides
maid. In just what way should she
assist the bride? I expect to wear
deep cream OF buff Please advise.
whether you think crepe meteor would
be more appropriate than marquIsetts
-J. T.,
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30

Dropsy ared. Swelling quickly reduced. shortnees
Of Breat relieved In few hours. Sample treatment
free CasLEE DR0PsY REMEDY CO., ATLANTA, GA. Adv.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
Thanksgiving Wedding Day.

Kindly answer the following ques-
tons regarding the MONDAY wedding
to take place on Thanksgiving day at
the church. In what order should the
maid Of honor, ring bearer and the
best man enter the church? What
should be served at reception which
viii follow Immediately after the
ceremony? Is it necessary TO send
an invitation to each member of a
family. or can I say ''Mr. and Mrs.
Blank and family?'' Thanking you
most sincerely.-Perplexed.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
Visiting Cards for Young Girl.

I am a young girl-sixteen. How
soon will it be proper for me to have
my own cards and should Miss" pre-
cede the name and should my name
be written out in full Schoolgirls.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
The Proner rhlnu 70 Do.

VIII you kindly tell me if 1t is cor
rect form for young men to call and
leave their cards after they have
been invited to a party? Also the
correct pronunciation of Misses" In
the Misses Brown.-A1ice.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30

High noon is exactly IL o'clock, and
is the favorite hour for a wedding
with our English cousins, and even
more so now since Alice Roosevelt Sc.
lected that time. For the first course
serve iced cantaloupe filled with
sliced pineapple and Naraschino cher
ries. then chicken salad with plat
sandwiches.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30

Some folks calculate to get on in
the world upon the shoulders of other
people.-Christian Herald.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30

Paradoxical Promise.
Il want you to pay down.
All right. I'll settle up.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30

It's easy to feel optimistic as long
as things are coming your way
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
a Hiah Noon Wedding.

Will you kindly state at just what
time ''high noon" is? Also suggest a
menu for three courses for a wedding
breakfast at that hour, to be served
in buffet style, as a fiat prevents any
other method of serving.-Mrs. j. H. 3.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
: The Kind.

7 ne KIND.
"How did they succeed in catching
that defaulting ayiator?"
With a fly detective"
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30
Its Kind

It's RIEad.
what Is a voice from the tombs
like?"
ut must be skeletons articula-
49,,
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1912-11-30

Beryl-Poor young stickleby! He
had to give up studying for q doc
tor.
Sibyl-Lack Of brains?
Beryl-No; he found he couldn't
raise q Vandyke beard.
The fool-killer., 1912-04-01
Page Three
THE SPRING FEVER.

Yes, ! have it, but it is not the
kind that makes me want to lie
and sleep in the sun, but that va
riety that puts springs in my
heels and JOY in my heart.
In my Imagination I am a plow-
boy again, and as | turn the sweet
odored earth and listen to the
birds trllling all around me, my
soul is very glad.
No wonder poets have ever
painted their paradise as being
one eternal spring, and artists
caught the,spirit of the green hills
and blooming wales of springtime
with their brushes and transferred
them to canvas! It is the season
of the year that typifies life in all
its glory. It is the time that the
youthful John likes to go with his
Mary Jane down to the bank of
the purling brook and get his
palpitating breast in tune with
his surroundings so that he can
pour out his inward Lodgings to
his sweetheart. It is the time
when the picnic party goes forth
to dine on stale crackers, cold
ro~oster-leg and red ants.
The fool-killer., 1912-04-01
THE LIFE OF NAOMI WISE

A true story Of the wrongs of a beautiful
girl and how she was killed by Jonathan
Lewis in Randolph county. North Carolina,
about one hundred years ago. A masterpiece
of passionate and thrilling interest. We in
the song OF Naomi WISE with the
book which is neatly printed and substantial
ly bound, all sent postpaid for l2c.
E. p. NEWSUM & CO., DEPT. IS, KING, N. G.
The fool-killer., 1912-04-01

realize that he is losing
enough every day to pay his part
of the tax for a year. Poor fool!
Now, gentlemen, I amt worth
much, and the only vehicle that
depends on me for axle-grease is
a sway-backed wheelbarrow, but
| am willing and anxious to go
my part on good roads any day.
The fool-killer., 1912-04-01
RING RULE"

The day of ring rule in govern
mental affairs is right now kick
ing the bucket in it's last death ag-
ony. Ever since | was old enough
to distinguish between a lighted
lamp and a brush heap afire
| have observed that a little clique
of political nimcompoops have
been running everything from
my own precinct up to the govern
ment Of the United States. But
it appears that the day of the
ring rulers is wellnigh spent,
and that the whole people are
about to be given a front seat in
the band wagon. Just a very
short time ago the newfangled
doctrine of the initiative, refer
endum and recall' gagged the
Republicans and Democrats to
the puking point, but now listen
at EN- proclaiming it from the
stump and incorporating it in
their platforms. Mr.. Socialist,
if you don't look out, the two old
parties will soon have. all your
thunder and lightning, and you
Twill be left with nothing but a
red flag to hold. just SO sure as
the people, the masses, get full
say-so in the way our government
should be administered, you may
look for more dead political tit
sWingers'' than Carter had oats.
And that's what's going to hap
pen. You may as we'll try to dam
the current of the mighty Missis-
sippi as to keep the internal
"~ring-rule'' rascals from getting
the drubbing that has been due
them for, 10! these many years.
The fool-killer., 1912-04-01

es, and announce that he has
discovered that God does not
exist. It is utterly useless to try
to reason with such crazy crea-
lures. All we can do is to be
sorry for them. They are like the
little minnow that asked the
whale where the ocean was, and
the fool thing was I'M ocean all
the time.
The fool-killer., 1912-04-01

The first issue Of The Fool
Killer, a little over two years ago,
was carried to the postofice in a
25-pound -four sack, and the sack
was not half full. This present
issue will require about fifty Of
Uncle Sans big mail sacks to
carry it. Growing? Well, just
a teeny-weeny bit.
The fool-killer., 1912-04-01
THE BAYONET

The paper that prints whatit thinks,
and is not afraid to think as it pleas
es. It is sharp at both ends and
sticky in the middle. It catches 'em
on both sides and in the middle too.
An electric shock in every line for
fools, thieves and rascals. 25c a year.
6 months 15c. FLETCHER 0. BAX-
LEY, Chief Point-Grinder, Clanton,
Alabama.
The fool-killer., 1912-04-01
ADVERTISEMENTS.
SOUTHERN FARMS.

If you own a farm anywhere in the
South and will sell it cheap1y, we can
put you in touch with a hcme-seeker
who will buy it from you direct.
If you r. a home-seeker and want
to buy a farm cheaply anywhere in
the South, we can put you in touch
with an owner who will sell you ex-
actly what you want direct. Wetwill
pay your railroad or boat fare to any
Southern farm you purchase through
us. Write Us to-day, telling us your
wants.
Southern Homeseekers' Bureau.
Box lis, Wilkesboro, N. c.
ct gives me pleasure to state that
I am personally acquainted with the
head Of the above concern, and know
him to be strictly all right. / am sure
he will carry out in good faith any
agreement he enters into.-J. l..
Pearson, Editor Fcol-Killer.)
The fool-killer., 1912-04-01
Club Rates!
IN Clubs Of Five, 15c q Year.

The price of single subscriptions to The FooI-KnIer is Is cents a year
but if you will get several of your friends to go in with o d send in 4
club of five or more at one time, you car all get the paper at Is cents a
year. The Fool-KiIer is creating great excitement wherever ii is intro
duced, and it now goes into every State in the Union. Join the army Of
,club-raisers. Do it now. Address: #
THE FOOL-KILER, MORAYIAN FALLS, N. C.
The fool-killer., 1912-04-01

In the f~ree-for-all fight with
legalized grand rascality, old lady
Justice has got one whole side OF
her face knocked off and don't
look like herself any more.
The fool-killer., 1912-04-01
A KANSAS CUR.

The last cyclone that passed
over Kansas dropped something
at Great Bend and never went
back to get it. Didn't even have
manners enough to cover it up.
And so the thing got up and
introduced itself to the people of
Great Bend as w. II. Kerr. They
all agreed that he was a Cur, all
right enough, even if he didn't
know how to spell his own name.
Then one night this measley
Cur broke into a printing office,
ate 200 pounds of type and drank
a bucket of ink, and gave birth
to a book, which he called Ours
Great Discoveries"
Now when it comes to "discov-
ering'' things, this Kansas Cur
lis a whole team. Why, .Colum-
bus. De Soto, Cook, Peary,
Amundsen and all the rest of 'em
couldn't hold him a light. Now
to give you an idea what Cur has
discovered" just let me pull
the stopper out of his bottle of
blasphemy and give you a smell:
"This little Educator is distributed
by the Church of Humanity to intro
duce to all people Ours Great Discov.
cries in Nature that the universe con.
tains no real God, that ma contains
no soul, and that life is ended forever
in each person at death. That al
Gods, Saviours, Souls, Saints, Devils
Spirits, Angels, Heaven, Hell, etc.
are purely mythical, having no rea
existence whatever in Nature"
Suffering Moses! HoWling tom
cats! And the ghosts of all the
sainted prophets! But don't that
just about blow the packing ou1
of your think-box? The idea Oh
one poor little measley, ignorant,
conceited runt of a tWo-leggeo
jackass trying to set his little
nothingness up against the Gre
ator Of the universe and the wis
dom of all the ages! 1t does bea'
bobtail. Yet every little while
some bow-legged bantam will rise
up in the face Of reason ane
common sense, in the face Q.
God and all His army of witness
The fool-killer., 1912-04-01

I would as soon try to chase a
hound pup away from a slaugh-
ter pen as to try to keep one OF
those old bench-legged booze
busters from likker.