Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1912-07-25
6 8E:?HES !${ SKI?
NT by Roy K.Moulton. q

K. oI
die of the following week.
If yOu go out walking an automo-
bile is liable to scramble you up or
a foOtpad is liable to tap you sud
denly yet firmly upon the dome OF
thought.
But III you sit still at home a hum
things are liable to happen to YOU.
The gas stove is likely to blow up,
you may have a fit, somebody may
shoot through the window by accident,
the house may catch fire. some weary
a lot of Turkish rugs, lightning may
strike the house, and then there is
always the possibility of an earth
quake.
AT the very best. YOU have got to
take 81 chance, whether you want
to or not.
RECIPROCITY.
L had a second cousin and he lived
out on a farm.
But he became quite smitten with
the city's potent charm,
Yes he did.
His visits to the city he would hail
with greatest glee.
And during those long winter months,
he visited with me.
He made his home at my house and
he stayed there constantly,
Yes he did.
YOU must bring all your folks
(Yes he did,
And stay upon my farm because it
will be hot in town."
Yes he did.
lie said: I'm notify you. and you
must come right away
You've got to be my summer guest,
You must not tell me nay"
Did he ever notify me-? Did he name
the happy day?
Yes he did-NOT.
GENUINE DELIGHTS.
Pounding the eternal daylights out
of a piece of MISUNDERSTANDING beef
steak with a potato masher.
Having the butcher hand you back
too much change.
Saving $4.78 by being invited to dine
out Sunday.
Getting a check for 5000 from a mag
azine story you had forgotten all about.
(This eve h~appened.)
Meeting an old friend from the
home town who refrains from refer
ring to the time that you didn't have
a cent.
Meeting a music teacher who can
talk about something else.
WHAT DRIVES NEWSPAPER MEN
CRAZY.
Where d 0 o get all Of your ideas?
Clip 'em out of the other papers?"
'Is it true hat your wife writes all
of YOUR Stuff?"
"Why don't you write a play?"
Huh, you have a snap. All you
have got to do is to sit at a desk five
or six hours a day"
Il saw that joke Of yours 10 years
ago in Hostetter's almanac"
my kid said he funniest thing the
other day. You ought to use It."
why don't you roast the gas COM
pany once In a while?"
"How much do you get a week for
worktn' on a newspaper? 1 suppose
you have lots of things given to YOU"
Most all of your stuff's sent in,
amt it?"
YES, OF COURSE.
AS soon as you bought that last ton
of coke the weather turned hot as
blazes.
The moths have made a sieve out
of your last years spring suit. You
should have known enough to fold
1t up and put 1t away in a $48 cedar
chest.
You will have to buy new garden
out before you put 1t away last fall.
A family with nine kids has moved
in next door. Did you ever know any
other kind of a family TO move in next
door? Guess not.
DARK DAYS.
There are some days when o can't
lay up a cent:
It all goes out for the ice and gas and
rent.
And you may wonder how and when
and where
You're ever going to be a millionaire,
1t somehow seems that your neighboI
gets ahead
And you stand still, just as though
you were dead:
But II the whole truth he would not
impart
He envies you to the bottom Of his
Just bear in mind before you call the
hearse
There's always some one fixed 9
whole lot worse.
FROM THE HICKEYvILLE
CLARION.
Hank Purdy's farm land IL so poor
1t is even purity hard to raise children
on It.
Grandma Perkins. who has been yer,
poorly for IL years, IL not able to dc
much manual labor any more. but Il
Willing away her time painting Anst
Frisby's barn and doing little odd jobs
OF that kind.
Abitah Wicks proprietor Of thu
huttel) told Deacon ,Pringle the othel
day that he had ordered some OF then
swell tabble de notes like they serve
In the huttels down to the city. Abijat