Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1912-01-19
SEVERAL kinds

fond of playing outdoors. and like
boys In general. he usually got him
self scandalously dirty. He was about
to sit down to dinner one day. when
his mother happened to notice the
soiled condition of his hands and sent
him out to the kitchen to wash them.
"You incorrigible boy!' she exclaim-
ed ms soon as she saw tie vbnsin of
water in which he had performed the
required additions. How in the world
do you manage to get your hands so
dirty?"
THAT didn't all come from my
hands," Indignantly answered Jimmy.
IL washed my face in that water too.
Youths Companion.
Gubernatorial Amenities.
When Senator Bob Taylor was gov.
ernor Of Tennessee he received let
ter from an inmate of the Missouri
State penitentiary who alleged his
name was also Taylor and. claiming
kin with the governor. begged him to
use all the influence Of his high office
to succor relative in deep trouble.
Accordingly Governor Taylor ad.
dressed letter to Governor Francis
of Missouri rs follows:
My Dear Governor Francis-You'Ye got
i fellow named Taylor In your penlten-
tiary who says he's a relative of mine.
II you can SEQ your way clear to do 1t
wish you would pardon him, and II any
Of your kinsfolk ever get In the Tennessee
pen I'll return the favor. Yours,
ROBERT TAYLOR, Governor.
New York Times.
In Boston.
Beacon Streete had called upon the
fair maiden of his dreams, and she
had received him eagerly.
"Oh. Becky. dear" she murmured, rs
he entered the room, "have you seen
papa?'
Il have endeavored to arrange an In
tcrview. Penelope" he replied YEARLY.
but l have found him in such an ex-
traordinarily loquacious state of intel.
lectual absorption I'm his own immedi-
ate enterprises that have been un-
able to insert monosyllable edge
wise"
why don't you try him with few
shorter words than usual, beloved?"
"uiSpeieu tne IuIr one. - lQrpera
Weekly.
He Was In Bad.
There is in certain town n Judge
who occasionally hits the flowing bowl
until it puts him down and out. One
morning. following an unusually swift
encounter with the alcoholic foe, he
appeared In his Office looking sad and
shaken up.
How are you this morning. Sam?"
inquired n friend.
Worse than I've ever BEEN" replied
the judge with groan I'm in bad
at home. When | left the house lit
tie while ago the children were calling
me Sam and my wife was addressing
me as Mister."-Popular Magazine.
Answering the Dean.
The man whom Thackeray calls "the
greatest wit of all time"-Dean Swift
of ST. Patrick's cathedral. Dublin-was
ms ready to take as to make retort.
why don't you don your hat to
me?" he asked n small boy who was
coaXing along an obstreperous goat.
Il WILL" said the lad "if your honor
that delighted the dean.
Cat Medicine.
The ancient physicians had firm be-
lief in the healing powers of different
portions of the cat, probably from
some confusion existing in their minds
with regard to its nine lives. Ono of
them gives as valuable recipe to
cure fevers two pints of water mixed
with three drops of blood taken from
the ear of an ass and certain parts of
cats digestive organs
Pretty Near Right.
Papa" said small Harold. "why is
1t you say long prayer and I say a
short prayer?"
"BecauseRyou are not old enough to
learn long prayer. Harold" he re-
piled.
oh" said the little fellow, 81
thought 1t was cause 1 wasn't big
enough to be as wicked as you are."-
Chicago News.
Precious Documents.
TIC University of Chicago possesses
the OXyrhynchus fragment of the Cos
pei of Mark, found ten years ago.
which dates back to the fifth century.
1t has also the first Greek New Tesla
ment given to the world, issued by
Erasmus In 1916; also the first one
printed. the Comprehension Polyglot
which came from Spanish press In
lol4. but was suppressed until 1921.
Hard to Kill.
An alligator's tenacity of life is re.
markable. II remember one time"
says an English traveller In India. IL
was with shooting party on the
Ganges. when the natives brought in
six foot alligator. They hoped some
one would want to buy 1t; but no one
did, so 1t was determined to kill the
1t was hauled out of the
tank and tied to tree. Bullets from
small rife or an ordinary twelve bore
gun seemed tO only frritota 4ho ,o.,