davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-30
Er little Thank You," now an den, is relished by de best nv men-when dey offers you dere seat in de street car. YasSuml

.......................s. his affection for her, by saying "she
 always laughed at his little jokes"
 This explanation may be truer than
 she knew.
 l It argues a sympathy broad enough
 to have endeared her to him and a
 strength deep enough to have held her
 share of the big issues of He that
 they might have faced together. yearly there are those of us who
 wonder over the rights of April
 Fools Day. 1 The ancient who first put cotton in
 the cakes for breakfast on that morn- ing ought to have patented the idea | for his descendants.
 They'd be multi millionaires now with an income passing the progeny of
 him who supplied the needed nook and | eye.
 l How do you know that this particular breakfast table joke is funny? What
 part of 1t is funny, and what makes it funny?
 l There must be something excrucia- l tingly humorous somewhere. just as
 there cant be the lest possible doubt | that 1t is funny to see a pedestrian slip on a banana peeling. l The world takes a keen delight in
 such an accident.
 The saddest individual alive does not
 withhold his smile when the hurried
 person Is interrupted by a perfectly | good banana peel, so 1t MUST be funny. l l know a man who positively de-
 clines to go to the very incest sort of
 house parties because, says he: q cant see anything funny in hav- l ing salt put between the sheets of my bed and red pepper put in my shoes.
 and cheese placed in the band of my
 new Panama. It may be that I'm get | ting old. and since I fail to see any thing funny in such things I suppose l ana.
 l woman of my acquaintance was re- beating the oft heard expression. You know. So and So isn't very bright" in connection with an incident 1 that took place in neignboring town. 1 She>relateds =
 1 "A party was given in my honor and
 everybody appeared in all sorts of false curls and bandeauN in their hair. when Jane Abercronbie (you known she isn't
 right bright) appeared with birds
 nest in her hair. and four tiny blue eggs pasted in it. All of the family 1 thought IL was terripiy iuiiy' Wheh one
 of the small children asked her mother what was funny about the lady having the birds nest pinned in her hair? The
 mother tried to explain it, but the child
 persisted in saying that she knew shed l have liked the lady with the bird $
 nest in her hair better than all the rest.
 for she didn't sound a bit funny to
 her"
 l Of course the mother-in-law joke must be funny, else all the editors in creation wouldn't give so mucn time
 and space to her, but Honest Injun,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-30
CHISHOLM HENDERSON
 ANNOUNCEMENT. CARDS
 Mrs Virginia Henderson announces the marriage of her daughter, Katurah. to
Thirteen mural canvases of the mythical days of King Arthur give to this cafe an environment of poetic fantasy

quaint and deli cate, portrays the mythical days of King Art hur each set of panels a complement of all the others.
 Heavy and gor- geously handsome portieres of old Italian d e s i g n, separate two ex- ceedingly beauti- ful private dining rooms from the main dining room. A basement buff fet, a modern del- icatessan d, are added feat ureS.
 Empire Cafe
 Empire Building
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-30
MISS FRANCES WHITE
 HOSTESS AT ORPHEIJM

Miss Frances White was hostess last night to the members of Crawford John sons house party. giving a theatre party at the Orpheum for their entertainment. She invited the members of the house party, Miss Gloria Lamb. Miss lone Hud- son, Robert Jones and Knapp Milburn of Chattanooga, and Miss Martha Latady, Miss Elizabeth Locke, and Messrs. Hem ry Fowlkes and Atwell Brown, MT. and Mrs. J. H, White and MT. and Mrs. Crawford Josnson to be her guests. This was third in a series of Inequalities for the house party which began with a baseball party Saturday afternoon soon after their arrival.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-30

good friends and could smile when their astonshment was over; but didn't that poor Frenchman catch 1t by the next post from both of them? It appears that by an unfortunate oversight the design made for Mrs. Beatty was not destroyed when the dress was finished. but strayed among some others that the man keeps by him. and the duchess went in in rather a hurry one day saw the sketch, and ordered a frock This little error has cost the man two good customers, as neither of the women could afford to run such risk again.
 
 | A dispatch from Paris Saturday gave | the following interesting points as to American fashionables
 '"rhe British ambassador and Lady Eco | dorowna Bertie gave a garden party at | the embassy in the rue du Faubourg Saint Honore. which was fairly brilliant in display of pretty dresses. The Infan- | ta Eulalie was present, looking most at | tlactive in a Nattier blue silk and mousse | selne robe trapped en panier, with white | Malines lace draping the corsage. The l ambassadress wore dark blue satin | trimmed with Venetian lace. Among the | many Americans present were Afnbassa- dor and Mrs. Herrics. the latter wearing | a pretty lingerie and lace frock, and Mrs. Hough. wife of the naval attache of the American embassy. who was very chic in black satin trimmed with white satin. Other guests of note were Sir Robert, Lady Walton and the Duchesse de Clermont-Tonnerre, the last in white lnousseline de soie draped with black lace. The Duehesse de Rohan was effec- tive in violet mousseline draped over ] violet tin robe buttoned down the cen- ter.
 Americans in Paris feted the glorious Fourth in a happy and joyful manner The city has never been so gaily decked with stars and stripes and French flags as on this years American national fete. Mir. and Mrs Herrick received nearly a thousand people at the American em- bassy, which was attractively decked with flowers. The gardens were enjoyed Ey the guests and an orchestra played captivating music all the afternoon. Many pretty dresses were worn by the American women present. The ambassa- dress was in a white lace and black plousseline draped gown and Mrs. Hough wore a lace trimmed lingerie dress and flower trimmed hat Mrs. Henry Taft, who was present with her husband (brother of the President), wore a toi- lette of dark blue satin. Mrs. Frank Mason was in white cloth and Mrs Deane Mason looked pretty in rose mousseline dress The Comtesse de Coetlogon was in a shot taffetas dress and Mrs. J. Monroe wore a chic white taffetas dress, fcunced with black Chantilly lace'
 CHISHOLM HENDERSON
 ANNOUNCEMENT CARDS .s,t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-30

Mir. Frederick Simpson Chisholm, Tues day. July 23 1912. Kirkvilie. Mo. At home, 920 St. Charles street. Birming- ham. Ala"
 The above card has been received by Birmingham friends of the bride and bridegroom. who are at present In Cum berland, Mo, with relatives. At the con- clusion of their honeymoon they will come to Birmingham where the bride for merly lived and the groom as paying teller of one of the local banks, Is well known and highly esteemed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-30
NOTES

morning after an absence of several weeks and will probably remain in the city the greater part of the summer. She has been the guest of her grandmother. Mrs. Howell, and of Miss Marguerite Howell in Dayton. Her brother MT. Hu- bert Kinney who has been visiting in Dayton since his graduation at Appling, returned with her.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-30

morning dIleT an absence or several weeks and will probably remain in the city the greater part of the summer She has been the guest of her grandmother, Mrs. Howell, and of Miss Marguerite Howell in Dayton. Her brother, MT. Hu- bert Kinney who has been visiting in Dayton since his graduation at Appling, returned with her.
 Miss Edna Barrett and Miss Eugenia Mitchell of Ackworth, Ga, are guests of Mrs. NJ. S. Kitchens, SIP South Wood land avenue. Miss Rosella Bennett is spending the week in Marvel, Ala, as the guest of Mrs. J. W. Bridges. Miss Ruby Meyer of Meridian is the guest of Mrs. s. B. sehoengeld. on Tenth avenue, south. Mrs. Nettie Heisted is at home after a visit to Chicago. Mrs. W. P. McAdory and her sister will leave today for Chicago and Lake Gen. eva to remain three weeks. In Heptem- ber Mrs. McAdory will again leave the city for visit 10 her sister in North Carolina.
 Miss Dorothy Johnsons friends will re- gret to know that she Is i'll at her home on Highland avenue. It is not yet known how serious Is the malady but typhoid fever is feared.
 Mir and Mrs. Price Mckinney Iucy Dwyer), of Cleveland, Ohio, are spending a part of their summer at their home in the Thousand Islands.
 Miss Rose Owen McDavid and Miss Evelyn Reynolds left yesterday to join the house party given by MT Matthews Tardy.
 Mrs Herman F. Morton Sarah Iuckie) is the guest of Mrs. David Buell. in Mo- bile.
 Mrs. l.. F. Harris and Miss Gamma Whitehead left yesterday for Talulah Falls to spend several weeks.
 
 Miss Elsie Kennon of Selma and Miss Carrie Stewart of Florida, are guests of Mrs. R. L. Kennon. | Mrs. H. w. Meigs and Miss Esther Belle Meigs left yesterday for Colorado Springs and Denver to spend the month of August. They will spend the closing days of the summer in Los Angeles and San Francisco, Cal, where Mr. Meigs will be with them.
 Miss Kathleen Moore has as her guest Miss Mary Anderson of Selma
 
 MT. and Mrs. Robert I. Ingalls,, the lat ter's sister, Miss Cora Gregg and Miss Kathleen Moore left yesterday afternoon from Blount Springs, where they spent Sunday.
 Miss Helen Coulbourne will be in charge of the primary department next year at the Margaret Allen school
 Miss Rebecca Cornell, the daughter of Mir. and Mrs. F. M. Cornell and grand daughter of the late Dr. R. s. Williams of Montgomery, will arrive Tuesday to be the guest of her cousins, Miss Saidee Carter and Miss Enid Carter. Invitations were sent out from the White House yesterday, says the Wash ington Post for a luncheon which the President and Mrs. Taft will give there on Thursday. August l. The guests are asked for 1;30, at which hour the Pres- dent will receive the formal notification of his nomination for reelection. The luncheon will follow the notification cere- mony
 daughter have returned from month S visit with relatives in South Alabama.
 
 Miss Mabele Scott of Mississippi is visiting Mrs. Hugh T. Morton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-30

Miss Edna Barrett and Miss Eugenia Mitchell of Ackworth, Ga, are guests of Mrs. NJ. S. Kitchens SIP South Wood land avenue.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-30
OFF FOR WRIGHTSYILLE

The Birmingham colony will be aug
 mented Thursday by party of the most attractive girls left in the thinning ranks of stay-at-homes. Mrs. John W. Sibley will chaperone the party which will in- clude Miss Cary Johnson, Miss Josephine
 Johnson Miss Ellen Percy Miss Kettle Sibley and Miss Iza Ryan,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-30
FOR SALE.

COMPLETE SET MAHOGANY, ITAI.- IAN MARBLE AND BRONZE BANK FIXTURES. INChUDING MOsLER
 VAULT DOOR. WE'LL SELL AT A GREAT BARGAIN. LOUIS V. CLARK q CO.,. 4TfI AVE. AND BOTH ST.
 PHONE 0O7.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-30

Of course the mother-in-law joke must be funny, else all the editors in creation wouldn't give so mucn time and space to her, but Honest Injun,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-30
Vaudeville at Eden

FTOIIl >dVfTC '.Is Miss Eve 1kins good on the Para disc circuit?"
 T should say she is. She makes seven changes of leaves
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-30

The soIemn-faced little boy who asked his mother, gravely,' when everybody else was screaming over something that he didn't find in the least amusing
 How do you tell when anything Is FUNNY"
 Has an army of sympathizers.
 WHEN is anything funny, and WHAT Is funny, and WHY?
 Some of us get through life laughing at the conventional time where the others shiek because we haven't the moral courage to differ from the opin- ion of the crowd.
 Everybody else laughs at this place, so we might as well give the line Its laugh. If we DON'T laugh now, the actor will keep on working il In until we DO laugh; so there.
 To each man his own taste.
 We have quite worn all the teeth of the ancient saw about a difference in taste as to what constitutes joke, be- ing more vital than difference In opinions about religion.
 once man grieved beyond reason for his wife.
 A sharp tongued neigh5or explained
The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-07-30

To separate you from the hum- drum of an every day existence a most beau tiful s D o t has b e e n created.
 On the first day of August the Elm pire Cafe Co.,, un- der the Empire Building, will un-. fold the sum of their endeavors. A series of 13 m ural canvaSes cover the walls their themes.
 "Banqueting, y
 Entertainment" Romance" and "Revelry.'
 The execu tion,
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1912-02-21
Z. l.. I. .

II this is the first time you have heard of r. L. r.,
don't think for moment it is new fake or an un-
tred dope Testimonials on file in factory prove the
success OF H. L. t. when used for the relief of Constpa
tion, Indigestion, Biliousness and all Liver troubles
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1912-02-21
"All Done for the Lord"

y
We wish to announce there that will
be two services at Langston church
next Sunday with lunch" between.
This does not mean that the pastor
desires to obligate any, one to take
dinner, whether they wish or not. Any
one who desires may come for the
morning service and is at liberty TO
go or remain as he chooses. Those
who were there last fourth Sunday
agreed to go prepared for putting in
the day for the Lord We believe this
plan would be good for many of our
churches in the county, especially
where the people live a distance and
have preaching only once month.
Since our Saturday meetings are SO
poorly attended this is the only al
ternatiVe for two services a month.
The noon hour could be profitably
spent in social way by all. There
would be more time for II. NJ S. to
do their work, and all members could
be at the conferences.
| have enjoyed many and all SER
vices with my country churches in
this way. 1t gives new pastors a
great opportunity to meet and get ac-
quainted with his people, and it gives
the members chance to know one
another better. Try 1t brother pas
tors. | give most cordial invitation
to those members who were not pres
ent last month to come and enjoy the
day witch us.
b. T. Mitchell,
Pastor.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1912-02-21
FREE If 1T FAILS.
Your Money Back ii You are not Sat
lSiicd with the Medicine We Recon-


isficd with the Medicine We Recon-
mend.
we are so positive that our remedy
Will permanently relieve constipation
no matter how chronic it may be, that
we offer to furnish the medicine at our
expense should it fail to produce salts
factory results.
1t is worse than useless to attempt
to cure constipation with cathartic
drugs. LaXativcs or cathartics do
much harm. They cause a reaction.
irritate, and weaken the bowels and
tend to make constipation more chron-
lc. Besides, their use becomes a habit
that is dangerous.
Constipation is caused by a weak
ness Of the nerves and muscles of
the large intestine or descending colon.
To expect permanent relief you must
therefore tone up and strengthen these
organs and rstore them to healthier
activity.
We want you to try Rexall Order
lies on our recommendation They are
exceedingly pleasant to take, being
eaten like candy, and are ideal for
children, delicate persons, and old
folks, as well as for the robust They
act directly on the nerves and mus
cles OF the bowels. They apparently
have neutral action on other asso-
ciate organs or glands They do not
purge, cause excessive looseness, nor
create any inconvenience whatever.
They may be taken at any time, day
or night. They will positively relieve
chronic or habitual constipation, if
not OF surgical variety, and the myri-
ads of associate or dependent chronic
ailments, If taken with regularity for
a reasonable length of time 12 tab
lets, 10 cents SO tablets. 25 cents;
so tablets, so cents. Sold in Laurens
only at our store-The Rexall Store.
The Laurens Drug Co, 103 Main street.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1912-02-21
Arrested for Selling Whiskcy

Harold Sampson. who was in the
limelight here several months ago
"hen he opened up a near beer es-
adjustment, was arrested Saturday
on the charge of selling whiskey and
also Of socilicting orders for whiskey
lie was released on $500 bond to APP
pear for a preliminary hearing before
Magistrate Crews Saturday. There
are several counts against him.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1912-02-21
KEEP THE KIDNEYS WELL.
Health Is Worth Saving. and Some
Laurens People Know How to Save


haurens People Know How to Save
Ii.
Many Laurens people take their
lives in their hands by neglecting the
Kidneys when they know these or
gans need help. Sick kidneys are
responsible for vast amount of suf-
fering and Ill health-the slightest de-
lay is dangerous. Use Doan's Kidney
Pills-a remedy that has cured thous-
ands of kidney sufferers. Here is a
Laurens citizens recommendation.
Arthur Hudgens, of Laurens. s. c..
says: For six months / sucered in
tensely from pains in the small of
my back and 1t was out of the oues-
ton for me to lift. My back ached
constantly and in the morning when
| first got up, l was very lame. |
tired easily, felt nervous and had
headaches and dizzy spells. The Sc
cretions from my kidneys passed too
frequently and this weakness was al
ways worse when / caught cold. In
a short time after / began using
Doan's Kidney Pills, they relieved me
and the contents OF one box effected a
complete and permanent cure"
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents Foster-Milburn Co, Buffalo
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-Doan's-and
take no other.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1912-02-21
COLUMBIA, NEwBgRRY LAuRENs RAILWAY.

9 figures are published only as information
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1912-02-21
It's the l.. & NJ. Paint.

Every wide awake painter uses it.
Why shouldn't he? 1t wears longest!
It's cost is the least! It's pure paint.
Been the standard for thirty-five years
70 every gallons of the H. & NJ
Paint, add gallons OF Linseed Oil and
thus make Z gallons of pure Lead
Zinc and Oil Paint.
Call on j. III. & NJ. l.. Nash, Laurens
j. w. Copeland Co, Clinton.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1912-02-21
IT'S UP TO YOU!

No school teacher
without
econdit
lhat condition exists, not within them
cannot
can hold a Ia s ALL
No force outside you But
inside lies
and keep
the -
In his life and make him Unit
to i the
ambition
to live go 80 =
True manhood the guilty alton the
%
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1912-02-21
ARIZONA ADMITTED
AS SOVEREIGN STATE
The Last Bit of Territory Left Within
the Bounds of the United States now
EniOyS Equal Prestige with the Rest.


Phoenix, Ariz., Feb. 14.-With West
ern simplicity, known elsewhere in
matters of official as "Jeffersonian,"
George w. p Hunt was inaugurated
as the first State governor of Arizona
today A few hours earlier in the
day word had come by telegraph from
Washington that President Taft had
signed the proclamation admitting
Arizona to the union, the last of the
territories on contiguous soil and the
4Sth State
In the ceremonies attendant upon
the birth of the tSate, and the induc-
ton into office of its first executive
the military was conspicuous by it's
absence, the new governor being
averse to ostentation. There was but
meagre display even of silk hats
and frock coats, which invaded Ari-
zona only few years ago.
Started as Waiter.
Accompanied by a number of the
newly elected State officers and few
close friends, Gov. Hunt who began
life in Arizona quarter of a cen
tury ago, as waiter in a small min
ing camp restaurant at Globe, walked
TO the capitol building, about a mile
from the centre of the city.
The inauguration ceremonies were
Drief The oath of office was admin
istered by Edward Keit, chief JUS
tice of the territorial supreme court
his last official act in that capacity.
Richard e. Sloan, Arizonas last ter
ritorial governor, stood beside his
successor.
Inaugural Address.
Then followed the inaugural ad
dress in which Gov. Hunt promised
the new state golden rule" admin
istration and pledged anew his fealty
to the constitution which he helped
to frame.
The new governor of Arizona is a
native of Missouri and is not vet
90 years Of age. He came to Arizona
in the early SOS and punched" a
Durro into Globe. Later he became
clerk in the Old Dominion Com
mercial company, of which he is now
president and largest owner. Seven
years ago he married Mss Duet Ell
son, native of Arizona. Like her
husband, Mrs. Hunt cares little for
display She is an excellent horse
woman and an expert shot. Her vaca-
tions are spent on the Ellison ranch
in the Sierras about hundred miles
from Globe. She goes to and from
the ranch on horseback, carrying her
little daughter with her.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1912-02-21

Dear Sirs: In response to your in
quiry, l cheerfully state that | have
used r. l.. t. In my family for sew
eral years with very beneficial results
/ have personally used it recently for
its tonic effects and have been much
benehted. For chronic constipation,
indigestion and torpid liver. | do NOT
know better remedy.
GEO e. PRINCE,
Judge of 10th Circuit, South Carolina
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1912-02-21

L always keep on hand a bottle of
X. j.. L. l have used it in my fam
lily with most satisfactory results for
liver troubles, for indigestion and as
general tonic. l value it very
highly and know from experience that
1t does all that Is claimed for 1t.
(Signed) P. B. WELLS,
Pastor st. John Methodist church, An
derson, s. G.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1912-05-31
Clarion News Notes.

Special to Times Republican.
Clarion, May 31.-Mr. and Mrs. j. NJ
Overbaugh were in the city to attend
the high school commencement.
Superintendent NJ. l.. Howell and
Mrs. c. V. Lucas were in Gait last eve
ming, where they both gave addresses
at the commencement Of eighth grade
graduates
Mr.. John Linebarger Is in the city
after spending several months at Cor
pus Christi. Tex. where he went on &C
count of his health.
Mr.. Guy Gibbs met with a very I'M
fortunate accident when he caught his
left thumb in pump and mashed 1t
severely.
The high school commencement ex-
ercises were held in the NJ. f. church
Wednesday evening before a crowded
house. Fay Case gave the class poem.
Louise Oyerbaugh read the class his
tory. Mabel Young rendered two vocal
selections, Helen Mcleod gave the
class prophecy, Alice Osier presented
the last will and testament, and the
president Of the class. Henry Eddy.
presented the senior mantle and cap to
the class of 1913. Alice Osier was
given the reward for the highest
scholarship which entities her to free
tuition in any Of the state schools. AZ
ter the program was given banquet
was held in the church: Miss Helen
Mcleod acted as toastmaster. In be-
half Of the class she presented to Mr..
and Mrs, Myers cut glass water set.
F. A. Tullar has purchased the cafe
maintained by II. NJ. Walters. Mr.. Tul-
lar was formerly an engineer on the
Great Western and OF late has been In
charge Of meat market here.