The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1912-06-05
"Why is Mr.. Davenport going to

"Yes. when you can get WidoweF
TO talking about string beans some
thing else is bound to follow. It's but
a step from that to matrimony.
"Rat | never heard OF that before.
"There's good many things you
sever heard Of before. Now then. don't
.ou 90 10 telling around that I'm try
.~g TO catch Mr. Davenport. for I'm
IrGt. The poor man is lonely. and l
may take pity on him but you know
/ don't care to get married to anyone.
I'D Won watch where he went to when
te lett here, as told you to-
Gle went to Mrs Stringer. Mebbe
he was going 10 talk string beans to
her."
Miss IIetty received box on the
car for her impudence, and for the
reyt three days the mother fiattered
herself that her market was made.
Then the widow Davis called. and at.
ter having several compliments she re-
marked:
"Dil YOU know it was all over the
village that was to marry Mr. Day.
export"
NO. l hadn't heard word about It,
lie called here first the other day, but
of course when he began to talk love
packed him off about his business.
| can't afford to marry no such man"
"Nor | either. They say he short
enei lis wife's life by years with his
fault.fnding"
"The poor thing. He was Just on
the point of asking for my hand when
remembered what I had heard and
changed the subject and shut him OIL.
Neither one of us can afford to sacri'
flee ourselves for man OF his stamp.
III he comes here again he'll get a
cool reception
"The same at my house. Well. |
must he going"
The two widows were hardly hum
dred feet apart when each one said
to herself:
"The old cat. Does she think sic
has fooled me the least little bit? Mr..
Davenport shall learn just what she
THINKS OF him"
Next day the widower received two
anonymous letters conveying the in
formation. and a great deal more. lie
was advised in paternal way not TO
trust his future to woman VINO
couldn't properly shorten a pie crust
to save her neck; who made bed
with the foot the highest; who was
certain to have lock jaw some day
from running Il rusty nail in her foot
because she would go around In her
bare feet: who stepped over Old coffee
Grounds; who had bad teeth. The
above wasn't all. No names were
molj Toned. but he had no trouble in
guessing who the writer's were.
Mr. Davenport's response was i'm.
mediate On the very next day he
called on the widow Davis to say:
widow. it occurred to me that you
msht be lonely
Dear me, but can't tell you how
lonely" was sighed In reply.
"I'nt matrimony Is a dangerous
thing"
i've heard say 1t was, but"
THE other day called to advise
YOU TO sci ont your tomato plants
early now advise you to do the same
about your cabbagcs. and to forget
matrimony."
Moses then made his way to the
house OF Mrs. Elkins and said:
widow. when I was here the other
day, advised you to plant string
leans AMI plenty of them. II you are
asked to marry refuse the offer.
stick to string beans. They never dis
appoint You
"But. Mr.. Davenport"
Sentiment - love - matrimony -
Stringbeans.
And to the widow Stringer he said:
II called here the other day to ask
IL you had a catnip bed in your yard
have now called to ask you to be my
wife"
"put thought-thought-!"
Suppose We set the day for month
ahead"
And after a blush and a wriggle and
a stammer the day was set.