The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1912-01-13
MILLIONAIRE
RAETs his TRIP TO
HIRE 4 SECRETARY.
Great Difficulty In Find
ing Man IN All Wilkes-Harre With
More Brains Than Himself.
DOCTOR WILL GO ALoNe
TO CLASSIFY THIS BUG"
Hell Be In New York To-day and
Go to See Conan Ii, "The
Little millionaire"

OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES, McDevitt will
come hustling to New York to-day on
special leaving this city at 1880 p.
m. The delay in Mr., McDeyltt's trip,
in which he is to hand himself the ex-
perience OF being q millionaire for a
night in New York, was occasloned by
the sudden realization of Mr.. McDe-
witt that he had been remiss in the
matter Of appointing his retinue. He
Ehad given Smoke" the poolroom ne
gro, the job of valet. DR.. Sweeney
had duly accepted the part OF private
physician. Dr. Sweeney is physician
Of wealth and large practice here, who
says that McDevttt is brand new
kind OF bug" and the doctor Is
coming along in an effort to properly
classify his client.
But McDevitt had overlooked a sec
rotary, and as he said himself; God
bless me, | must have a secretary
Who ever heard Of a millionaire With
out a secretary? And, do you mind,
the secretary always has more brains
than the millionaire. That's been my
difficulty today. How could find in
Wilkes-Barre gent with more brains
than meself? The task was extreme
\ ly difficult. But at last I solved It,
| johnny Lerahan, OF the Redington TO-
tel, will act as my secretary 1t Isl not
\ that he has more brains than ] have,
but he looks as though he had, which
4 goes a great way with a great many
people.
\ ,"Many a guy gets away with high
forehead with nothing back OF It,
\ which, do you mind has no direct APP
4 plicatlon to Johnny Lenahan."
Town Thrives on Mcoevltt Yarns.
McDevitt anecdotes are stock stuff
after everybody's coffee in this COM
munity.
McDevitt that never gets up till
ldusk, that never goes to bed till dawn;
4 McDevitt that sat on his own jury
and convicted himself; McDevitt that
was constable and used to salute him
4 self nj 3 O'Clock every morning by
shooting his revolver off twelve times;
4 McDeyitt, that fooled John 7. McGraw
end the New York Giants, McDevltt
that made whole Universalist church
trrn Roman Catholic for a night; Nc
Dewitt that has the town SO well
trained that he never pays for cigars,
io3d or lodging; McDevitt that goes
.Ato politics pennliessiy and comss
walking out with nominations-like
that Of Register. Mayor and Sheriff
and gets a wad Of money to withdraw
IN each instance; McDermott-Oh,
well, anyway, this remarkable red
hpi.sd play Boy of Pennsylvania"
with his dream OF being millionaire
for Gay, will arrive in New York TO-
day.
! After dinner at the Waldorf-Astoria
he is going appropriately to see THE
Little Millionaire" but he wagged a
lean finger at your correspondent anu
/ said solemnly; Don't mention this
fact. I'm afraid George Cohan would
be offended to find himself the sub,
/! ject Of publicity. You know how
George feels about getting his name
Hin the paper 1t drives him mad-if 1t
4 doesn't haDpen often"
The story of an Eventfu Life.
McDeyitt, it appears, from earliest
1 childhood has had mania for spenu-
ing whatever money he got hoId of all
at once.
/ "At the age OF nine" said he, II
made my first dollar working as a
breaker boy in the mines. 1t was not
4 a gay life. II you'll believe me. was
full nine years old before ever saw
1 banana, and was twelve before ever
ate one. But at the age of nine, with
4 my first dollar | acted like a million
aire. i went to bakery and bought
ten raisin pies at ten cents apiece. l
| satiated my very soul in ratstn pie.
I've never been able to look at one
since. Maybe itll be like that being
a millionaire for a day IN New York.
III maybe get good and sick of the
proposition and never envy Andy Car
negie again Well, anyhow, I'm on my
way"
McDeyitt drank another Gun OF cot.