davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-12-25

Lem Haskins bought brindle heller
ninetees years ago and he amt got
through lawin' about it yet.
Ii seems as though the fellers that
are all ears and nose get their pitcher
in the paper the most
There are burned few fellers that
know more than the station agent
down to the railrud depot in a small
town.
good many fellers have lost their
money by bein' willing to invest II in
a town where the people are perfectly
contented TO go. arounJ nights carry
ing barn lanterns.
1t is purity hard 10 put anything
over on anybody nowadays. They all
read the newspapers too much.
No woman ever buys a corset from
a tin peddler more than once.
Lem Purdy says on account of high
cost of stickin' around on this ter
restral globe. he Amt had a chance
to get real well acquainted with his
pay envelope for nine years.
They say that a Teller never really
falls in love but once BY ginger,
once is enough.
1t is a burned poor patriot who can't
enthuse over a nice slice Of roast tlr-
key with homemade dressing.
There is more cryin' at weidin's than
at funerals.
There are just as many chumps with
college educations as there are with
out.
Hank Tumms says no woman should
be allowed to vote until she can
reg'late a furnace
Seems as though a Prohibition can
didate would git so discouraged some
times that he would almost fall of
tn wagon.
Luke Timms. our local genius. has
got up a new scheme to make custard
pies. He sets d stalk of milkweed. an
eggplant and a stalk OF pieplant in
the ground and then sets a pan on
top Of 'em with "A little dough in it
The plants all grow and MI up the
pan and the sun bakes the finest Gus
tard pie you ever see.
There is one satisfaction about be-
ing beat for Congress or Senator. y
Teller saves a good deal of money by
staying at home.
That Paris Teller who dreams the
designs fer wimmin's hats must eat
4 lot of welsh rarebit
The defeated candidate who asks
Cor Il recount gen'ally finds out that
he was beat wuss than he thought he
was in the fust place.
Teller who is observing always
has plenty Of umbrellas.
Who ever seen corn doctor who
didn't die his mustache? Some folks
is born lazy and some acquire lazi-
ness. like Mrs. Hank Tumms when she .
got married. /
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-12-25

The car has written the following
ode for consumption by the dear pub
lie:
Nothing 20 do but dodge the bombski.
Or else 70 be blown to kingdom
comeskI.
'Twould make most any guy feel
glumski
How would YOU like to he the Car?
Afraid to set his royal feetovitch
Outside. his home in the city streeto-
witch.
Nothing hut cornmeal dares he cato
witch
How would you like to be the Car?
Afraid to 20 TO bed at nightski
For fear some loyal subject miGhtski
Toss him a large bunch OF lydditeski-
How would you like to be the Car?
When Of this life you're wearyowskl.
And nothing looks quite CHEEKY owski.
lust hand yourself this queeryowski;
How would YOU like to be the Gar?
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-12-25
ARE THERE BEAVERS N VIRGINIA.:

.b.~,.s.S. 1T has lately been
....,.5 p, in. North Carolina Lcgis-
,s.uro from Pennsylvania County. the
and 81 The laurel and tn rhododen-
s-,n. -, way of preparing himself
,or the performance, % his duties as a
representative Of IN, people. he has
aaopted q move! plan. His proposal
To- can together tne voters Of his
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-12-25
Onthe Spur of the Moment
By Roy K. Moulton


For sixteen long and weary years tho
Democrats have stood
Before the old pie counter and have
vainly longed for food.
The goOdly plums were not for them,
they didn't get smell,
But now the doors are open and
they're rushing in pell mell.
It's like a bargain counter rush. The
man who runs the place
Is standing with look Of great con-
Germ writ on his face.
1t looks like fifty men will ask for
every piece of pie.
There Will not be enough to satisfy
the hue and cry.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-12-25

: hat-rack attendant in a st Louis
hotel made enough n his tips 70 buy
a roteI - his own. This is not strange.
for W. ourselves have often disbursed
enough q hry a courl, 90 hotels in
ono fee. Buying hotel IS cheaper
than staying a. ore.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-12-25

g.
Each hubby helps WHEY TO trim the
old tree.
D. r. KINNEY.
Philadelphia. Pa. Dee. -. 1912.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-12-25

In the decade from 1901 to 1910 the
death rate from tuberculosis IN the
United States declined from 1863 for
each 100. 600 persons living to 1903. a
decrease Of 49, per cent. while ;ne gen
-ral death rate. including all causes
OF death. declined only onc-half as
fast. o. at the rate Of % per cent.
from 1880 :, 1855
That Is what tie Red Cross seals
helped do.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-12-25

Hetwecn trying 90 D. a white Christ
mas and green Christmas. thc
Weather seems GO have produced a Eor-
.r-ns MD DIr--Ir-aa
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-12-25

When we have suffragette Santa
Clauses they at least won't burn up
in their own whiskers.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-12-25

There was a lot of waste wind on
Broad Street Christmas Eve.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-12-25

ono last "e,A 'or s.ris to propose
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1912-12-25

for any service that ! may have rem
4 dered.
WESTMORELAND DAVIS.
Loud0un County
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
KNOCKOUT BROWN WINS
 FROM FRANKIE MADDEN

Knockout Brown outboxed Frankie Madden in the ten round wlnd-up be- fore the American A. C.. Brooklyn. last night. The 'Dutchman", who side, gained the laurels of the. even- ing by carrying the fight to his op. ponent from start to finish.
 There was but one clean knockdown In the seventh section the protege of Dan Morgan beat Madden's right swing and landed a left hook to the body that dropped Frankie for the count of eight. The blow was crusher that took a great deal of the spirit out of Madden. In the tenth round Mad den connected solidly with his left to the neck and half dragged Brown to s knees. This blow. which had the
 '-el of a knockout fortune tely for
 own cid not find a vital spot.
 own dropped from the pull more
 an from the force of the blow. for was up in an instant fighting like
 wildcat
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
Motoring
Denies Johnson
 Will Box In N. Y.
Champion SaySs He Will But Fai-mOnt Club Officials
 Say He Won't

Chicago, Feb. Slack Johnson. the champion heavyweight boxer, said last night he would go to New York for the purpose of signing article for a ten round fight before the Fairmont Ath- Ietic club.
 Johnson said he had been offered S2O,0OO as his end of the show and he immediately wired his acceptance. Who is to be his opponent he refus- ed to state.
 Asked about the order of the New York Boxing Commission prohibiting him from fighting Johnson said some assurance must have been given or the club would not have gone ahead with the match.
 Billy Gibson, manager of the Fair mont club, when notified of the John sen statement, denied any such ar engagement
 or any amount to box at the Far mont club'' he said. 'The boxing commission. as I understand it. is op- posed to a bout in which Johnson VIII be a principal. I want to state that for the best interests of boxing. I am ready to obey the rules and regula- tton& of the State Athletic Commis- sion
 'cPut as Commissioner O'Neil has taken a stand against Johnson. m opposed to ma tching him And l voice the sentiment of all other box ing club managers in this respect.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
'AST GRAND KNIGHTS JEWEL
 RESENTED TO WILLIAM FLYNN

At the meeting of John F. Rogers 'ounciI, Knights of Columbus. last
 vening, Past Grand Knight Will am lynn was presented with d Past frand Knights jewel. The present ta- ion speech was made by Rev J. H. Nalahan, and MT. Flynn made a fit- ting response. Previous to the pre- sentation Rev. Father Callahan, who s chaplain of the council, gave the members some advice in regard to the 7uty which Catholic men owe to their church, their country and their orc an ization. Remarks were made by Dis trict Deputy George T. Kelly.
 Selections were sung by Joseph Wei Ter, assisted by James Cox, John J. Hughes also sang, accompanied by Harry Malorey at the piano.
 John J. Crowley gave a humorous address in an impersonation of Con- gressman Champ Clark. Cigars and a social session fol owed. The com mfttes iE charge was John H. Tague, Edward Gallagher, John welch and J. Corcoran.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09

these accidents the Giants would have found the going harder and wouldn't have finished as vel as they did.
 This year, I believe, McGraw is going to find that he must play bet ter ball. He will find Philadelphia and PittSburg stronger than in 1911, do not believe the New Workers will play anything like as well as they did last season.
 ''Marquard, for one. will not be as Successful; he won't win nearly as many games as he did last year" (And all the time we've been believ- ing the Rube had only just started to tear the old league to pieces. Strange how folks will disagTee.)
 Knabe naturally relieves the Phillies will be there or whereabouts next Oc- tober. He seems to have lost all respect for the Cubs however. s'Ch4- erlastingly out of it. From this dis tance I cannot see where Chance has strengthened. He hasn't a good man for first, and unless he plays Zimmer- against it at that corner.
 And if he does shift Emmy he'e apt to ind weak spot at second His pitchers are none of the best. hard to see how the Cubs are going to finish one. two. three"
 Judging from the following, c. Web Murphy is having 9 fine young time O 1t getting his athletes lined up. Mine Brown and Heinie Zimmerman ar just as far from the fold as they were weeks ago, if there is any trutF and the betting is that it's straight dope-in the latest advices from the West, to wit. viz:
 Brown declines to be considered holdout in any sense. as he means to quit baseball, trade or no trade, if the business proposition on which he and Alderman Tearney are working pans out. If he does not, he frankly says 1t is a matter of indifference to him where he pitches next season.
 Brown has not refused to sign a Cub contract. He has received none for the coming season. President Murphy admits none has been sent, but explains it by the statement he does not know Browns address or ev- en that he is in town except by means of newspaper reports to that effect.
 Baseball men in general look for the next step in the deadlock to je asking for waivers on Brown by the Chicago Club, but they do not even dare to hope it will be as efTicacious as it was in the case of Ed ReuIbach.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
Marquard Signs
 Up For Three Years Great New York SOuthpaw Comes to Terms With
 Management of Giants

Rube Marquard, the star southpaw finger of the Giants, signed a con- tract to play with the Giants for the seasons of 1912, 1913 and 1914 fate announcement that the Rube had colne to terms was not given out by the New York club until yesterday MarQuard is thoroughly satisfied with the terms of his agreement, and says he hopes he will be of as much ser vice to the club in the next three years as he was last season.
 The lanky pitcher called at Secre- tary O'Brien's office late on Wednes- day evening and waited for McGraw to put in his appearance. John J. and then McGraw, O'Brien tnd Mar quard went into executive session. It seems the Rube thought he was worth a little more to the club than the sent him, though he said he did not desire to be considered a hold-out-
 To settle the argument McGraw of fered karquard a three-year docu- ment. Rube immediately accepted, and it did not take Secretary O'Brien long to draw up the agreement. When the Rube left the office his contract was in the safe of the New York club, and New York fandom is now sure of seeing the famous Eleven Thousand Do lar Beauty perform at the Polo Grounds for at least three years more.
 With the exception of Mathewson, Marquard is the only player on the New York club who is hooked up for more than one season. MathewSon will serve out the third year of his three-year term this season. The fact that McGraw signed his star left handler to a longtime contract is a good guarantee that the Little Napo- leon believes Rube'S work last season was not a flash in the pan, and that Marquard will remain one of the Giants mainstays in the box for three seasons more.
 Little need be added about Rube's ability. as his sterling work last sea son was one of the biggest factors in the Giants capture of the champion ship Rube stood first among Ma tiona1 League pitchers with the great record or twenty-four victories and seven defeats. McGraw expects even greater things from Rube this season. Early in the campaign of 1911 the big left-hander was still the Eleven Thousand Dollar Lemon," and it was not until July that he began to get his regular turn in the box. In Au- gust the big fellow was next to in viucihle. Next season McGraw will not find it necessary to do any more experimenting with the Rube, and he will be used regularly from the start of hcstilities in April.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
Tommy Burns Says
 He Will Come Back
Former Heavyweight Champion Back From Australia and Anxious to Fight
 Johnson

Tommy Burns, the former heavy weight champion, is a comeback. A dispatch received last night from Se- attIe, Wash. announces that Tommy Burns has decided to re-enter the ring, in an effort to meet Jack John son, the worlds champion. Burns IS anxious to meet Johnson and in re- entering the fight ring, a battle with Johnson is his one object Burns is in excellent condition and weighs 19O pounds He says he could enter the ring at 1SO, easily.
 Promoter Mcintosh promised me that I could have a match with either Jack Johnson or McVey," said Burns, yesterday. @'I'm after that heavy weight tit-e again and if I can posSib- Iy get a chance at Johnson it W Il be up to the colored man to extend him self"
 Burns has now announced his re- entry into the game and will begin to train at once. He has fully recovered from the injury received in a game of lacrosse, two years ago, and is now ready to meet all the big fellows who are in the nmelight- Tommy Burns has not engaged in a battle since he was defeated by Jack Johnson in Aus traIia, four years ago. Experts be- ieve that, like the others, Burns can not come back. Burns, however, is determined to secure another chance at the dark man.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
CRANE NO. 2 WILL PLAY s
 LOCKWOOD FIVE TOMORROv'

One of the fastest basketball gam of the season is expected Saturd. night when the Crane No. tea lines up against the fast Edgewo crowd at Rakoczy Hall. The Edg woods have yet to be defeated th season but McGuire's Crane team e, pect no trouble in getting the big CT Of the purse. This game will pract calIy decide the City Champfonsl: and a large attendance is expecte The officials for this contest will b, Patrick Hurley, referee. William Blu Ter. umpire and Walter EIlwood, time kepeer. The two teams will line u as follows:
 Crane No. 2 Edgewood Rarnsley Mole. Fran Right Forward Atherton. Graham. Shea. CCapt
 Left Forward Hoffman, (Capt.) Anthony. Refill.
 Center Eagan, Ludwig Della Vall'
 Right Guard Langhammer Hafalt
 Left Guard
 There will be dancing and prelim mary game between ethe Longfellows and Columbias.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
lBv Wagnerl


 From the tone of articles in the Waterbury papers it looks as if the fans in that city regret the action of the Connecticut league directors in transferring the Waterbury franchise to Holyoke. The holder of the $1,5OO note apparently tried to blur J'n ONeil and he wouldn't be bluffed. Of course the Waterbury men cannot be blamed for wishing to get their money bAck but O'Neil offered them several propositions by which they would have received the coin quicker than they can get it now. There is some talk of forming sem1-profes- sional league with Torrington, Win sted and other one night stands.
 Catcher Cy Mcdonald, the Hartford backstop. visited the Capital city yes terday and gave the usual monologue about being anxious for the season to open Mcdonald has been spend- ing the winter at his home in Hyde Park, Mass.
 Ira Thomas. the Philadelphia Attn letics' catcher, had quite flaming bee in New Haven, Wednesday, dur ing the league meeting. Ira, who Hartford. looked very prosperous. Un. cIe Jeems O'Rourke told Ira he looked like a priest.
 Cy Young. the oldest player in point of years of service. in the matoi the Boston Nationals for 1912.
 Manager McCarn and Secretary Hugh Reddy of the Bridgeport club went to New York. this morning They will look at materials for the
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
JOHNNY DUNDEE BEATS
 YOUNG EDDIE 0'KEEFE

Johnny Dundee, a sturdy little Ital- ian with a left that carries a terrible sting, beat Eddie O'Keefe, the Phila- delpfia sensation, in ten hurricane rounds at the National Sporting club New York, last night. Dundee had sta nina and cleverness in his favor; O'Feefe a wonderful boxer. had skill The stamina won for Dundee.
 The battle started with O'Keefe giv- ing fine exhibition of jabbing and getting away without a hit. For five rounds the milling was furious, but without decided advantage.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09

troit Tigers, may quit the game after more than a decade of strenuous work on the diamond with various teams to be a patrolman in c evelapd It is announced to-day that Delehanty has taken the examination and won sixth place on the eligibility list.
 Rube waddeIPs signed contract for 1912 has been received by the M1nneap- olis American Association team.
 McGraw has purchased George Pierce from the Mobile club of the Southern Association. Pierce was possibly the least successful pitcher in what was the Eastern League last year. ''The race is not always to the swift
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
BIG LEAGUE GOSSIP

Tn ten days the first squad of Giants will be on the way to Marlin, and from that time on the various big league squads will stream to the South and Southwest. Then will come the or ieS Of world beating recruits. Over 200 youngsters will exercise before the hawklike eyes of big league managers and S i've to fight their way to that major stratum of the game where only the elect may tread. To paraphrase few, few remain, though many meet. If out of all their recruits each big league team was able to discover one major star 1t would be the greatest year the game had ever known. Per- haps five or six of the ambitious youngsters may stick in fast com pany. The others will either be farm ed out for further development or else sold outright.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
KNABE DOESN'T THINK
 GI6MMfS CAN COME BACK

New York won the pennant last season because they had all sorts of luck Pittsburg would have beaten them out''-if's Otto Knabe of PhiIa- deIpbia a ibi-ing this time, not Pittsburg dopes' er-''had it not been for the accidents to Wagner, Wilson, Clarke and Miller, Philadelphia, too, was going we'll until Magee was lift ed and Dooin broke his leg. But for
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
OST OF COLLECTING
 CUSTOMS IN STATE

Estimates of appropriations for col ting the customs revenues during
 e next fiscal year call for provision IT seven persons to be employed at 'e part of Hartford at aggregate sal 'ies of SIP, ,165, nine at Bridgeport at 7.510, nine at New Haven at S11.6T0. i've at New London at s4,790, and 1ree at Stonington at $1,173
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09

Nearly two hundred bowling clubs have already been entered for the na- tional tournament of the American Bowling Congress. according to sec retary Abe Langtry. who opened his list for the play. today.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
BIG ELECTRIC SIGN
 FOR MASONIC CELEBRATION


 That the celebration of the 15oth anniversary of the founding of St. Johns lodge, No. 3. F. and A. NJ. win be one of the greatest events in the history of local Masonic circles is now assured. The committee in charge of the arrangements is making elabor- ate preparations for the entertainment of visitors. A gigantic electric sign of the insienia of the order is to be placed in front of the Masonic tenn pie. It will be lighted Sunday even- ing Decorators will begin their work tomorrow Accomnnoda tions for seat ing 600 persons will be made in the blue lodge room and preparations will be made to feed between 500 and 700 at the banquet Monday evening.
 Winsted-A rooster which broke out of it's cage, tried to perch on the beIIcord of a baggage car on the New York ridgeport express. His weight signalled the engineer to stop the train in a hurry.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
A Western critic writes:

''with St. Mary's College, however. rests the laurels of having the best college baseball team on the Pacific coast. The St. Mary's nine is prob ably the best college team in the coun- try. Both St. Mary's and Santa Clara encountered small difficulty in defeat ing the varsities of Stanford and Cal ifornia, and in the final games for the State championship the st Mary's nine trounced Santa Cara
 With the major league experience the college enjoyed last summer it cer- tainly should be able to turn out a fast nine. The Highlanders' bench was so crowded with college visitors that the regulars had to stand out in front.
 It wll probably surprse the fans to learn that the Pirates have asked for waivers on Vincent Campbel the had hitting outfielder. The only explana- ton seems to be that the youngster has taken too active a part in the feuds which rend the Pittsburg Club. Boston has refused 10 waive on Camp bell and he may become a Ward man.
 Brick Leonard, the young pitcher, has been released to the Spokane club of the Northwes+ ern League by tine Athletics in exchange for Pitchers Rounck and Bonner
 Jim Delehanty. the veteran baseball player and second baseman of the De-
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09

Charley Mitchell. the champion trot. ting gelding of last season. will cam. paign. this year. in the coIors of c A. z. Billings. who. last night, bought the rare trotter for S4.50O Charley Mitchell. last year. hung up a record of 2:04 1-4.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
SOME SPORTING SNAPSHOTS
Waterbury Fans Resent Transfer Of Base
 ball Franchise To HoyOke

drop in at the headquarters of the New York Americans to pay their re.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09

New York Americans to pay their re, spects.
 Tennis, basketball and track athIet- ics are ''brutal' according to pr. Dud- ley B. Reed, medical examiner of the University of Chicago, who declares in the current issue of the New Yorl Medical Times, that these sports rank ahead of football as destroyers of health. The midway authority gives the gridiron game practically a .,0"n bill while "panning'' other pas times.
 A formal challenge is on its way to Germany in behalf of the Aero Club of America for the next international c0rtest for the James Gordon Bennett Cup for balloon races. which was won in the United States IasI year. by Lieutenant Gerricks. of the German army. Three American balloons will participate in the race, which is to start from Stuttgart, Germany. The da te for the event has not been fixed Elimination races will be held in the United States to select the contes- tants.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09

Jim Delehanty. the veteran baseball ! player and second baseman of the De-
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09
MINISTERIAL LEAGUE.

Totals All 4S9 43O-125O Game onight-Crane Juniors Vs. Crane No. 2.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09

Manager McCarn and Secretary Hugh Reddy of the Bridgeport club went to New York, this morning They will look at materials for the
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1912-02-09

cv Young. the oldest player in point of wears of service, in the major leagues. has signed a contract with the Boston Nationals for 1912.