The Whitefish pilot. [volume] (Whitefish, Mont.) 1904-current, 1912-02-22
BUSINESS IS
BUSINESS
By NJ. QUAD
Copyright. 1911. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

The village Of Exter numbered 1000
inhabitants end was accounted an in
teresting place. That was why George
Bailey, who had just graduated as
dentist. opened parlors there. It could
be figured as straight as a string that
1000 men, women and children had
teeth enough to keep three dentists OH
the hump.
1t was only natural that Mr.. Bailey
should observe the teeth of the people
he had come among. He met per
haps dozen in the 1000 whose teeth
were in good order. There was no
doubt that the graduate had come to
the right spot and struck soft thing.
A week went by and Mr.. Bale:
hadn't had customer. Then second
week passed. Then he went about to
inquire what was the matter. He ran
up against grocer. who told him.
why. I supposed you knew al.
about it," said the grocer. ''Some six
years ago a dentist set W here. and in
pulling tooth for old Mrs. Joyce
he pulled her neck out about two fee,
long. and she died next day. Too
much neck. you see. The dentist had
to fly for his he. Since that date none
o. US dare ratronize a dentist
At the end of the third week Mr..
Bailey offered to fix the teeth Of a min
lister for nothing. The minister said
he was much obliged. but he hadn't
yet fulfilled his mission on earth.
Did Mr.. Bailey set his office afire
and then 60 out and hang himself:
Not at all. He knew Just what to do
in such a case. and he did it. He went
up to Chicago and walked out bi,
until he found Professor Donaldson
The professor was the champion pain
less tooth puller of America. BY day
he was in his Office; when evening
came he dressed up as harlequin
and drove about the streets and pulled
teeth without charge. Mr.. Bailey and
the professor had a long and chummy
tall: together, and an agreement was
reached. Three days after the talk
the dentist was back at Eyter. A day
later the professor followed. He had
a wagon and music. He had flags ard
banners and prancing horses. lie had
the whole town on the street, and be
delivered lecture on bad teeth.
Bad teeth were responsible for head
aches. flatu!ency. dimness Of vision.
loss Of memory. Ei.iocsness. liver com
plant and a score of other things. Bad
teeth filed grave~ards. Bad teeth pre-
vented happy marriages. Bad teeth
caused half the crimes committed. Bad
teeth caused 10000 divorces per year.
1t was because Of the bad teeth Of
the soldiers that Germany conquered
France. 1t was only lecture on bad
| teeth and the results this evening. To
morrow evening the professor would
show the good people Of Extcr what
true philanthropist he was. There
would be something doing. and it
shouldn't cost any citizen cent.
When the next evening came the
professor made few general remarks
and then offered to pull teeth free OF
charge. It would be painless. If any
one felt the slightest twinge Of pain
that person was to be presented with q
FIVE dollar gold piece. Aye, the pro-
fessor would do better than that. He
would furnish sets of false teeth u,
the low price Of 81 set. Single teeth
would be only 20 cents each. No more
headaches in Extcr and the death rate
reduced so per cent.
Three evenings it took the professo,
to reach the last tooth. No hurt. and
nobody out cent. There We're a few
people who sympathized with Mr.
Bailey and called to tell him so. bu
he had folded his tent and gone on
fishing. and it was long fortnight be
fore he returned. What Of the people
who had got something for nothing
They had had from one to six teeti
extracted. Many of them were "ol
their gums" alone. Scores were lisp
ing as they talked. Other scores ut
tered a hiss as they started ont to talk
For three weeks they went about pat
ting each other on the back and call
Ing Professor Donaldson the friend O.
humanity. Then it suddenly occurred
to some one to ask when he was goiil;
to return and make good. Ec hat
been Indefinite about the date. The!
rushed to the Office of Dentist Bailey
but he could tell them nothing beyoat
the fact that he had the best kind o
luck fishing. Letters were written II
the professor but they remained I'm
answered. \ committee was sent t.
Chicago. 100 miles away. but it failet
to find it's mau.
Then vow must see what happened
Dentist Bailey was ready for the rusl
that came. Ec had secured an assist
ant in anticipation. His stairs groane'
under the weight of callers. The
wanted to be fitted from two from
teeth to all their mouths would hold
There was work for year ahead. an
there was money in the work. 1t wa
weeks and weeks before one man 4
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