The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1912-05-28
AnUnintelligible
Epistle
: BY EMMA THORNE

Miss Jacqueline Armstrong. sopho.
more In \. college. after having had
a cheese, pickles and candy party In
her room and having parted with her
visitors, threw on dressing gown and
settled herself to writing letter to her
mother:
Dear Mammal have just come in from
a meeting of our University Society OF
Foreign Missions and sit down to write
you my usual weekly letter. ! am sorry
/ can't write oftener, but you know that
my studies take up all my time. l ike
college this year better than last because
the studies are more interesting. Besides,
! am getting used to university life. or
course We girls are not given the prfvi-
leges the students in mems colleges have.
but we don't miss them We are permit
ted to receive calls of formal kind from
young men, but 1t isn't as 1t 10 at home,
where the boys come in and we may romp
as much as we please. However, you
know I prefer girls society TO boys any
way, and nobody need watch me-
we have study hours in the evening;
consequently we are always In our rooms
at that time, and just now we are prepar-
ing for our examinations at the end or
the term. The graduating class this year
IA unusually intellectual, and the faculty
is looking forward to brilliant exercises
on commencement day. I hope that ! may
meet your wishes by taking an honor
when / graduate. I am doing my best to
stand well IN my class, but you must re-
member that have to compete with a
great many very clever girls.
II you come to see ms be sure you let
me know a day or two before your ar
rival When we have our friends and
families visit us our attention Is distract
ed, and We need to study hard day or
two ahead TO keep up an average. You
needn't send me the clothes you speak Of
/ don't need any handsome dresses here
in this atmosphere of study. They would
be out OF place Your affechonate
DAUGHTER
Having finished the above epistle.
Miss Armstrong wrote another TO Mr.
Ellison Keane. a student in neighbor.
ing mems college, in which she avoided
names and wrote In disguised hand:
My Dear-I was sorry not TO meet you
as appointed. / received a visit from an
aunt, whom I was obliged to escort about
and through the college buildings. This
coming of relatives at unexpected times
is dangerous, and in letter Just written
my mother have told her not to fall to
give me notice. I'll be at the trysting
place next Saturday at the same time
and hour, and IL you're passing you can
take me up rest OF a couple OF hours
will do me good The truth is I'm SO
bored with the miserable studies and try
ing to make the profs believe that know
something about them that need Sat-
urday spree. So don't fail on the next
appointment. But be very guarded. and
IL any one to be dreaded Is in sight don't
stop. but return and take me in when the
coast is clear. Ta-ta! SPOONlE-
Miss Armstrong addressed her two
letters and put them In their envelopes,
intending to look them over the next
day before mailing the one to her moth
err In the college box. The other she
proposed to take to private letter box
in the corner of a stone wall hidden by
bushes. The bell for chapel was ring
ing the next morning when she was re.
reading them. Hearing footstep com
ing, she had only time to cram them
into their respective envelopes when
the lady in charge of the dormitory en-
tered. Later Miss Armstrong posted
her letters in their proper places.
The next Saturday the gentleman
failed to put In AN appearance at the
trysting place. and the girl student was
worried. On looking into the private
letter box on her way home she found
a letter inclosing one which she had
sent him which was to her mother.
Goodness gracious mer' she ex.
claimed. eff I did that must have
sent the letter to him to mamma
Whatever shall do7"
The same evening a letter came by
post from her mother. 1t read:
NV Dear Daughter>-I have Just received
n lettnr from somebody don't know and
which 7 can't read. addressed TO me In
your handwriting. I don't know what II
means. think some of your fellow stu
dents and you must have been writing
letters In the same room and got them
mixed. II this is the case will return 1t.
Another supposition worries me. It may
be that you are I'll and out OF your head.
Telegraph me as soon as you receive this
sf am mistaken. Your loving and arx-
sous MOTHER
p. ST. inciose SO for fruits and such
things In case you are III.
This letter relieved Miss Armstrong s
disquietude considerably. She tele-
graphed her mother not to worry and
to return the letter at once. When she
received IL she wrote her fond parent
that some day she would give her a
satisfactory explanation of the matter.
At present she was boning hard for
exams and had no time. She hoped
the old lady would forget all about the
epistle, but she didn't. There were
few words In the note like "trysting
place" and a Saturday spree" that
looked suspicious. But the fact that
the letter was signed "Spoonie' In
stead of Jacqueline seemed to Indicate
that her daughter was not its writer.
Mrs. Armstrong did not remember JAG
aueline having mentioned any OF her
friends named Spoonie. but or course
in college there were a great many
girls, and Jack could not be expected
to mention them all.
Jacqueline. having finished her studies,
or, rather, her escapades. was gradual
ed with the others, the hard students
mostly becoming teachers. the esca-
paders becoming wives and mothers.
JacqueIine married Mr.. Ellison Keane
and made model mistress of the
household.
"By the bye" said her mother one
day after her daughters marriage.
whatever became of your friend Spoo-
ME- what's Her-Name. your college