Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1912-07-25
The Guest Who Outstays Her
Welcome
Dear Miss Doom:

Dear Miss Doom:
Kindly give me advice in the following
matter: l have an old friend whom / en-
terrain at week-ends; in fact, she has
spent considerable time at my house in
the past years. I rarely visit her. as she
boards in New York, and l don't wish
to put her to extra expense. Her salary
far exceeds my husbands. and she is
aware of that fact. She expects to spend
next week with me, and that would mean
debt to me again, as 1t always does when
she visits me. Would it be a terrible
breach of hospitality If / asked her to
pay a little board? She doesn't seem to
have or use Judgment of late and has
overreached the bond of good friendship.
] have done her many favors, for which
L am never even thanked; but she acts
as If | ought to dc them, and-I think
I'm losing my patience. / don't wishfto
be unkind, but / don't always want to
be in debt on account of her. for / can't
afford 1t. Hoping to hear from you soon,
A READER.
You have given me a very diff
cult problem to solve. I can readily
understand how such a situation
must trouble you and how hopeless
a tactful way out of it must seem.
It's a pity your friend does not show
the same consideration of you that
you do of her in the matter of WIS.,
iting.
Under no consideration ask her to
pay board. That would be an UNI
~pardonable breach of hospitality. On
the other hand, 1t is wrong not only
to. yourself but also to your husband.
TO go into debt to pay for her n
tertainment. Surely she does not
visit you without an invitation. After
this next visit, for which you prob
ably invited her, do not extend any
more invitations which will be n
drain on the family purse. If you
will forget false pride and explain
to her frankly your husbands posi-
ton, and the fact that you and he
are struggling to gain a foothold, I
am sure you will find misunderstood
ings, which would naturally arise
from the discontinuance of the in
vitations. will be prevented. If the
ingratitude of which you write has
changed the friendly feeling you once
bore her make no p%retense of desir-
ing to keep up this one-sided ar
rangement. If, on the other hand,
you still enjoy her society, tell her
that you will be glad to have her
spend the day with you as one of
the family, but that as much as
you would like to provide especially
for her entertainment, you are cot
at present in a position to do Sc.
If she is at all worthy of the name
of friend she will not resen your
frank statement, but win respect you
for 1t.
Hostesses and guests. take notice.
There is a real lesson in this friends
letter not only for the guest who
thoughtlessly outstays her welcome.
but for the hostess who from a mis-
taken sense of hospitality let's her
become a financial burden to
her, and thus misses the joy of true
entertaining. If your means will per-
nit it, hostess, by all near provide
those extra touches which will help
to make things more comfortable for
your guests but do not provide these
extras if their cost means debt.
True hospitality is not a matter of
household furnishings, of dishes or
contents or of the number of
of amusement to which the hos
tess takes her guests, but of the genu-
of the welcome which she feels
for those she is entertaining and the