New-York tribune., 1912-02-18
TAFT SEES GR|D|RON FUN
Scribes, as "Candidates," Woo
Miss Democracy.
WILSON GETS A PEDIGREE
Governor Described as Wood
row W., Sired by Jim Smith
and Damned by Watterson."

Washington, Feb. l7.-Miss Democracy
was the belle OF the midwinter dinner OF
the Gridiron Club tonight. while members
disguised 10 represent the several cannl-
dates for the Democratic Presidential NOM
nation entertained with their wooing dis
tinguished company. including President
Taft. some OF the candidates In person
prominent members Of Congress OF all rac-
tions and guests fronNa number OF states.
Festivities began as usual with the olaZins
up Of the red and white lights OF the i'm
mense gridiron over the head Of the presid-
ing officer.
Louis Garthe. Of The Baltimore Ameri-
can" was initiated as president Of the club
and was subjected to a grilling cross-eX-
animation by ten Presidential candidates In
order to test his fitness. Champ Clark
wanted 20 know Of Mr.. Garthe whether ne
favored tearing down custom houses and
annexing Canada: La Toilette asked what
he would think OF Gods patient poor bit
ing piece out Of a fat corporation every
dav." while oscar Underwood put his qucs-
ton into rhyme. thus
II I cut steel and steel cuts me.
can I cut ice as a nominee?
The answer was: Not IL Mr. Bryan sees
you first"
To the "gentlemen's court Of honor" was
left the reply TO Woodrow Wilson's query;
ais the schoolmaster abroad safer than AZ
home?" Harmon's pathetic appeal: Kun
ming for A real President, which would YOU
rather have: Cleveland's blessings Bryan's
curse or an Ohio candidate against YOU?
brought forth the comfortlesE answer: My
candidate is not running In OHIO.
The trneful opera OF Robin Hood was
the vehicle for the presentation OF num-
ber of prominent Progressive Most oil
them had sought the bosky shades OF Sher-
wood Forest for the sake Of ~ tall timber
berce they fell easily into Robins merry
crew. There was Little John Jim) Gar
eeId VIII Scarlet La Toilette, Friar Pin
chot ard good Dame Marketing, besides
Robin Hood. who introducing himself as
an outlaw. sang
Ru, outlaw, now YOU see,
Arc men OF wealth and rank ana peilg'e'.
There was a loud blast" from hugle
in the for. st depths. and It WAS announced;
That's Bob La Toilette; very rant
tlast That's Cummins": general miS-up
Of dIscords. Henry Watterson Is in con-
ference with Woodrow Wilson
That tuneful air "Old Crossbow' was
given a strange twist, as follows:
A statesman who dwelt on the ',oo'looss' edge
Mas dert with his old Big Stuck: ,.a..
A dove OF peace ~ on his windo" icds'
He hit Il awful Hex. -,
He stopped awhile and 10 sigh nHsan.
They heard him both near and far;
n YOU walt for the Office 70 seek the man
T'ho Office says stay where you are!
!, remained for the Democratic Presi-
Dental steeplechsse" skit TO bring out the
candidates in full force. A bookmaker ap-
neared with his blackboard, sheet writer
and other apparatus. and announced the
entries, which included the following:
Here Is Woodrow W., sired by Jim
Smith and damned by Henry Watterson;
breezed out well on his last trial; going
fast under hard pull.
Next is Judson H., an old csmpaigner.
begot by Grover c.. famous stake horse,
and damned by w. j. Bryan"
The funniest kind Of betting followed.
and the horses got away. but. unfortunate
ly the Gridiron Club failed TO enlighten
lis guests as to the identity Of the win
uer for Just as the ponies were punched
the police raided the hall and ''pinched"
the bookmaker.
MENU.
Canape Nova Scotia
Celery Radishes Olives sslted Nuts
|'''' Clear Green Turtle
Crab Flakes au Gratin
rnet OF Beef. Fresh Mushrooms
v,orIda string Beans Potatoes OBrien
Terrapin Maryland
Gridiron Punch
Virginia SQUAD Roasted
Salad la Taft
Mousse Fresh Strawberries
Assorted Cakes Coffee
Wines Haute sautethe
Apollinaris !