davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1912-01-17

Madge-Didn't you think the show
ended rather abruptly?
Mabel-Yes. indeed We had barely
time to take up our things. put on our
hats and coats and get outside the
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1912-01-17
A Total Failure.

A Total Failure.
II spent a lot of money on that gal
of mine to have EN- learn her pyrog.
raphy. as she called IT."
Did she get on well with it?''
Cant make q pie what's wuth put
tin In yer mouth"
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1912-01-17
Pktins.

Fitting.
What do you think my wife said
when told her ! was going to give
q stag party?"
Il can't guess"
"she said. What . deer idea
OUR MOBILITY.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1912-01-17

visitor-Personally. I don't think
much Of the American method OF
spelling.
Hostess-Why notf
visitor-weli. take parIour. for in
stance. Having n in It makes all the
difference in ths world.-Tattler
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1912-01-17
The Cause.

How do you account for those nrr
dozen houses OF you're IN the block
going of so soon?"
because in them mad the sia ne.'
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1912-01-17

Mrs. Smart-welI. I see that Mrs.
Swift has got divorce
Mr. Smart-That means another
wedding present
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1912-01-17

An Arizona man who was in Chicago
recently for the purpose of buying
several thousand dollars worth Of
things that he needed In his business
was entertained at one of the coun
try clubs.
Now said his host before they
went into dinner. II wish you would
do the club the honor OF registering
We like to have the signatures OF all
prominent men who come here"
The Arizona gentleman looked at
the register for the purpose OF dis
covering what other prominent citi-
zens had written their names there.
and up near the top Of the page he
noticed the name of Benjamin Hoop
er II. A little below that was the
name OF Addison Bosworth III. Evi-
IDENTIFY Mr.. Bosworth had been fol-
lowed by q humorist. for unde. his
name was written John Smith XIV.
WELL" said the Arizonian. these
chaps amt got nothir' on me.
guess"
So he wrote:
Hank wattiss l."
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1912-01-17

tneater Derore the curtain went GOWN
Puck
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
WOMAN KILLED
JOY riding WITH
STRANGE men
Wife OF A RICH new YORKER
One of Men Robbed Body Of
JeWGIFy

New York, Nov. l4.-An automo-
bile containing four men and a woman
tumbled backwards over a 150-foot
precipice at the edge of the Highland
boulevard, in Brooklyn, just before
midnight last night, killing the
woman, Mrs. Andrew Reid, and seri
ously injurlng two of the men.
The men, who declined to give Their
names, explained that the chauffeur
had lost control of mis- car while at
tempting to turn it around on the
narrow roadway.
Mrs. Reid was the wife of Brook
Ign manufacturer Mr.. Reid declared
that he knew nothing about the ride
and was unacquainted with the unin-
jured men. who are held on charge
of homicide.
After making this statement to the
police, Reid collapsed. The two UNI
injured male passengers esq ye1
Mrs. Reds jewelry, valued at 5000
vas found in the pockets of one OF
the injured men.
The woman is the daughter of 4
prominent Massachusetts clergyman
and the affair has created great SEN
sation among her friends here
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
CHOLERA RAGING
AMONG SOLDIERS
IN TURKEY
THOUSANDS ARE STRICKEN
Conditions in COnStdRtinOple
Are Terrible

New York, Nov. 14-Oscar S.
Straus, former ambassador to Tur-
key, received the following cablegram
today from Ambassador Rockhill at
Constantinople:
There are now over $4,000 sick
and wounded soldiers here. Cholera
seems to be increasing fast. Much
sickness and restitution among the
many thousand refugees"
Official confirmation that Kiamil
Pasha has addressed King Ferdinand
of Bulgaria, asking for the conclusion
of an armistice, pending the negotia-
ton of peace preliminaries, was re-
ceived here from Constantinople this
morning.
report that the Turkish fortress
of Adrianople has fallen before the at
tack of the Bulgarian and Servian
allies is current here. but without any
confirmation in official circles.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
MAY HAVE A PRIMARY
TO NAME POSTMASTER
Election Spirit Rampant in
Georgia

Thomasville, Ga, Nov, 1.-THE
Townsville postoffice with its salary
If $4,000 seems likely to cause live
~ scrap among a crowd of candi-
dates Already there are a number
ol avowed would-be postmasters ant
there are others who are doing a
quiet feeling around" to see what
their chance would be for getting it..
IL looks now as if Congressman Rod
dt MERRY might have a job on his
Lands in making recommendation
for the office.
1t vas suggested recently that a
primary be held to decide who should
g the successful candidate and al
III ugh the suggestion was made in
tie nature of joke, it has been taxi
en- up generally and the majority OF
the people here seem to think it would
be a good way out of the difficulty.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
MAN MURDERED;
GIRL ASSAULTED
BY BLACK FIENO
NEGRO IS QUICKLY CAUGHT
LyuChing viii Follow Terri.
Bile Crime

Ocala, Fla, Nov. 14.-G. T. Bear
CESS. an old farmer and his daughter,
were murdered by a negro, near Nc
Intosh, twenty miles north of here this
afternoon. The old man was shot
down from ambush, while going along
road near his home.
The girl, his adopted daughter, II
years old, was assaulted and her
throat cut The old mans body was
found while yet warm and the girls
shortly after.
The negro was soon captured and
officers started with him for Gaines
vile. They were pursued by crowd
of the victims neighbors, which re-
ceived constant reinforcements and at
last accounts here was trying to in
tercept the officers and their prisoner
or even pursue them into Gainesville :.
At midnight no further report had
come from the posse which started out
to lynch the prisoner and it is believed
the officers have safely spirited him
away.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
MEDICOS TO MEET
NEXT IN KENTUCKY

Jacksonville, Fla, Nov. 14.-ThG
Southern Medical association this at
ternoon decided to hold the seventh
annual meeting next year in LeXing-
ton, KY, during the month of No
vember. officers were elected as fol-
lows
President-Dr. w. Frank James, OF
Memphis, Tenn.
First Vice President-Dr. Albert
Mcclure, of Richmond, Va.
Second Vice President-Dr. J. D.
Love, of Jacksonville, Fla.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
boy KILLED BY FALL
At HOME IN SAVANNAH
Tumbled Two Stories to His
I Death

Savannah, Ga, Nov. 14.-Hooks p.
Brooks, the 2-year-old son of Mr..
and Mrs. Courtney Brooks, is dying
at the home of his parents on Bar
nard street as the result of fall sus-
tanned on Tuesday afternoon. The
Brooks family lives on the second
floor of an apartment house and while
leaning over the railing of the porch
on Tuesday afternoon the little fell
low lost his balance and fell a dis
lance of about fifty feet He was
picked up in an unconscious condi-
tion and the doctors pronounced his
Injuries fatal.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
He Tjpped AGAIN,

He was very affable and free with his
opinions, was this young man. but that
was about all he was free with. To
the man who had carried his not un-
heavy bag to the little countryside
station he had given one whole penny
Notwithstanding the forlorn look on
the mans face, he still continued to
chat in an easy manner.
81 shall never forget" he continued
''the splendor of the scenery when
was in Switzerland. 1t was an educa-
ton to see the sun rise, tipping the lit
tie blue hills with gold"
"Ah!" interrupted the man who had
toiled with his bag. Them ills was
luckier than me, weren't they ?'-Lon-
don Tit-Bits.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
DEALER IN mi" BEER
NOT WANTED AS CITIZEN

Savannah, Ga, Nov. 14.-In the
United States court this morning
Judge Emory Speer declined to admit
to United States citizenship James
Moses, a subject of the sultan of T'ur-
kay. Moses gave his occupation as a
dealer in near beer, and the court
held that a near beer dealer was not
a desirable citizen, and declined to
permit him to take the oath of allie
glance.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
ANDERSON is sent
As MINISTER TO JAP IN
viii Be Acceptable to the
Japanese

Washington, ID, c., Nov. 14.-LarZ
Anderson, of Washington, now United
States minister to Belgium, has been
named ambassador to Japan, succer-
ing Charles Page Bryan. whose resig-
nation was announced few days ago.
Through the Japanese embassy it was
learned today that Mr.. Anderson would
be satisfactory to the Japanese gov
eminent, and his appointment will
be announced at once by President
Taft.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
What Mas the Text?

st select my text" began the young
layman, from the Book of Nature. 1t
is inscribed on every leaf, which clings
to every tree, in the library Of the
forest-the latter clause of the fourth
branch, and the third twig. Judges
Library.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15

y saw you at the new musical com
edy last night" said Mrs. Oldcastle
Yes, when Josiah come home he
said he felt like he ought to have
something to take business of from
his mind for little spell. He's been
In lot of big deals lately. SO we
thought we'd go to the show. although
neither him nor me go In for them
kind OF performances as rule. Both
of us like the classical better"
What did you think of the per
formance?"
Why. enjoyed 1t real we'll"
Il liked most of the people in the
company, but 1t seemed to me that
the mise en- scene was hardly in keep
ing with the performance.
Yes, | noticed that. too. Once I
thought the little man who was playin
on IL would blow his head OF. and It
was easy to see that the conductor
was provoked at him"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
SON.IN,LAW NICHOLAS
BEATEN FOR CONGRESS
He Loses Out BY Narrow Mar.
gin of 81 Votes

Cincinnati, Ohio, Nov 14-The Of
fetal count Of. Hamilton county, made
public by the board of elections.
shows that Congressman Nicholas
Longworth, son-in-law of Col. Theo-
dore Roosevelt was defeated for con-
gress in the First Ohio district BY
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
Hogs Bite MAY CAUSE
LOWNDES man HIS LEG
LaWtOn Kelly is Bitten By
a Hog

Valdosta, Ga, Nov 14.&Lawton kei-
1y, we'll known young white man
of this county, is in danger of losing
one of his legs as the result of a
bite of a hog several days ago. He
and several others were trying 10
catch hogs at his fathers place when
one of them attacked him and bit him
on the knee cap, infiicting very pain
full wound
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
Domestic Amenities,

when Mrs. Tribble loses her tenn
per she calls Mr. Tribble a worm"
What does Mr.. Tribble dor
He answers, Madam, you can't bait
met"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
COTTON MARKET IN
AMERICUS YESTERDAY
Receipts at the Various Ware
houses

Selling around IL cents, with IL IA
cents freely offered for the finer grades
the cotton market was steady yester-
day, with a net gain of six points in
the futures positions. January yester-
day closed at 11.S0 cents, with the
March option suoted at lie even.
The local spot market was quoted
as follows:
1912 1911
Good Middling ..........12 IA 8
Middling ...............11 IL 3-3
Receipts in Americas.
1912 1911 1910
Reed Yesterday. l755, H 1875 .....
Total Receipts 22.9 $50 85,l6S 21,1lo
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15

No man ever assumes the pose of a
political reformer as long as he is in
office
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
Hard to Explain Otherwise.

Hard 70 Explain OtHeTWIse.
'Dubbs interrupted his wife yester-
day"
How much did he win?''
What do you mean?"
Didn't he do it on a bet?"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15

Miss Antique-Ah! well. after all.
old friends are the best,
pie come to think that way when they
reach the point In life where they
can't 90 with the young folks any
more
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15

Howe--A weeks vacation means
rear added to your life.
WiseEt will have TO mean more
Ahan that IL am % i've 10 nay III II.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1912-11-15
y y = y y \ y = y y
EQUAL SUFFRAGE STATES.
Here are the states that have
adonted equal suffrage.


a III of liz hates ID he kIaaed al-
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

.. tl. evidences produced against
.... ........ ,t.. .i'..,... t,,t a, had
..H.u George n. Toe h"ond, pros
..., juror 800 thc MeNamara case.
I.ruuaHuat Cha. tur,, hours cone
-
,' .,a 90 ,f,,
,,.,,,, ~
......',, ' ,....,,,,,
..... .,.,..,, fIs,,I.t
..... r.,I .,t .f,,,..., ,.,,i,,,
lid. y.,.. ,... u,.,J. ta. nbi,.t ~
49,, -.
.....rf... ,.t i,..,,,. ~. ~, ..r..
...... f'. '.... ..t ,f.. s,,,i i,',., .,ra
... ..,..r..I t,r,,t..r.. ,ss......,...,.
......r.r.. l. Is,,..v 49, IN, '.,.'t
......r.t,,. .s,in., Inn, n.l.,,s, ,'f
. ..,.r. t,r t,, ,.,.rt.,.,, ,,,I ,,...
..r..r.. ..st.I,d IA .I, ,'1ru', mr ..'
.... uuII,.t.,ls. ali we're d,pounu.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

Opening figures were unchanged to
'ar higher December opened shade
iu zee nap tt NHe d ~ H2 isD. tuGDhcd
~ CSC und stood at 92i1C.
The CLOSE WAS steady with Brccm-
bar - re- zee higher go 12asr.
Corn Iuotunted with widely scat-
tered though liberal sales. the near
by months showing tho larger de-
.clluts Opening figures were FROM
one cent lower tu q shade higher
First sales of september we're shade
10 p mf ic down az 1UM W60isu.
che close Was steady with Septcm-
Der p ~ p down ~ 6osc December
closed q, 10 itC higher 40 5ittc
The month fcll of 90 GgI.r aud
stiffrnod u GG7-r December opened
shade higher Co au Nc lower at
% u re- '3 Ac, aud rested 40 $50
Fair demand kept oats firm ln spite
of the weakness OF corn The opou.
ma HuH from % shade to ttu higher
December started a ~ hr higher ut
dz n m d2 lsc. and moved up 10 80 Sac.
Export buying suffyncd provisions
hl the start. figures advancing gcner-
ailN frum = - re- aC, with prtuhpr prod
uNlN 1895 for pork. Nlu.9i p for lard
ana 5000 fur ribs
Wheat september 93a m i.r. DO
cCmb"r 82Ac
Corn september Gg%c; poccm-
hcT 6thc.
po,s september "itc, Dcccm-
bvr sea Mc.
Pork september N717ls.
Lard september tlU.GE1DTiac.
l'ihs Septomhrr floA
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

Kansas DUl Aug o.. cattle re-
c"Ipts 10000 including 900 southern.
market steady. Nutiyo steers. 50 sou
ioIn. sua H.rn steers. tt50@ 0p.
southern COWS and hoifor-. Ea.gan
600. native COWS and hrifcrs. Sa.a0M
t"r HiuUt'rH ana feeders 2iBuft
,bN. huIlH kL75m5.2i. calves $500
T $40. western steers G5.luUg.g1.
western .uN. S3.6uft6Uu
Hogs Receipts 1900. market
tii"ur EIIk ot sales 8s.3Uussu.
ucHFN. fNlUHiNiU, packers and OUT
uHDrs tsHuuass. light Ks.g,tiss..
plps SG.uuu 90.
0d'Du Receipts 1000, market
trDuE iu IH. higher Nurtuu-. 8g5
20 49,. lambs, fa..uniG.Is. rams,
N'ih'H Huu yrarhuss f1-5ftt
rang, owes. f2.21H3.5u.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

'hIagn AUG Co.. -Cattlv receipts
1.rnN, market steady go strong.
l'r'vvF $1,000 1850. Texas strorr,
200" 'n. western steers, yG.45m
3.unt hi.,N,rs and frydrrs sl.Uun
40, COWS aud hclfris. H2.GauNI1.
calves. fG..u1tD15.
Hogs Receipts $4,000. market
shade higher. Liant SN1UWk1U,
mixed EtrUuN5U; hc.tl t555M
$500 ruugI. Nt5iM $50. pigs yGuUu
N.-l. Uu'k uf sales. yt.H5ms.ta.
~Ur'F itcccIpts $4,000. murkct
steady Geo shade lower NauNr. $50
H ttu5 western, 81 go wear
huEf Ni.nafl.5u. lmus. native &t55
H f.H Western. yl1tu t..s.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

Cheyenne. NND. Aug d. Bp.i....
he attempted tu rub IL fuuth,r. t,EIrr
ih th' H,D of Npuug woman nu A
crowded street Tilted with mrrr -
makers ut thp Frontier" prIrhrHt.uu
nero tonight Bort Rogers of south
Platte, Nch. ll's dliug aD % hospital
hr escort of tho Young woman r..
sisted the attentions uf Rogers and
stabbed him over tl, heart.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

Attend our great $1,000 suit ..le
inr mon anu Wumru store open tH-
night The Golden Eur pry Goods
Company
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

80 luUIs Aug o. Wool steady
i".i'iu.f .rU western mediums, goa
-l. nur mediums. lsH goa" uu, l3m
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

Attend our great $1,000 suit pie
for men and women Store open toe
night The Golden lulr IN, Goods
Company
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

Attend our great $1,000 suit salr
FOR men aud women. Store open to-
uirht. Tho Cudrn rulr nr, Gundr
. .umpuuN
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

Sew YORK Aug Cotton spot
closed quiet middluR upIauds.
sl-.0u. mddlng sulf tle.25 Sales.
100 bales
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15
TOO LATE TO CLASSIFY

- ~ sfaf>fHersr NfsrsNs~s~eTesg
LuSi' Large black Maltese eat. mo-
white marks, return tu j A.
liuhhH, corner fiirrls avenue and
North Eleventh street
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

81 Louis. Aug 10 l.,uu tfm.
f13. spcltcr strong tGh5Hg.E0.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

luatimr.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

HIGHLY IMPROVED t0-acrc ranch
rh'ap, under Elephant Butte proc
i'ci. good adobe house. corraIs and
"ui houses, stock ana murhiucr,
WIN place. ON best ditch south OF
Albuquerque, family orchard. 100
mixed trrcs, Immediate pusarssiuu.
terms Box lu, Garfield, s.. N.
Ii'. ph. don't mind au occasional
l'h 100 Tact a lovers quarrel ls u
good thing.
SHE f,s, 10 generally shows WHO'S
going to he the boss uuorNurd. -
Philadelphia Record
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

STORE OPEN TONIGHT Colleen
Rule bry Goods Company
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

winter loodsror.s boz 'ulood-
'uHim.
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1912-08-15

Mems Bannister Oxfords
Lot the worlds soil
q
of an only thu
can
and a a
sal T, per N4.GH
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-03-21
ECZEMA AND ITCHING
ERUPTI0NS
Dentls. Says ResInoI Works Like
Magic.

More and more are the wonders OF
Resinol. No itching surface but what
is relieved instantly by its use, and
the list of diseases which are perman-
emily benefited is growing daily in
numbers and cases
This dentist says 1t is the real thing.
Glance over what he says:
Il have given Resinol Ointment to
patients troubled with Eczema and 1t
always worked like magic. One lady
after spending 500 In various ways
was cured by the use of a 50-cent jar
of Resinol Ointment. 1t is the real
thing for Eczema and all itching erup-
lions.
IF. M. STEVENS, DE-. S., Dover,N.H."
Resinol Ointment is an effectual and
reliable remedy In all forms of infiam-
nation, eruption and irritation of the
skin. It is an immediate remedy for
itching or intiamed piles and a great
curative application for eczema, letter,
milk crust, pimples, scalds, burns, chill
blains, chapped hands, boils, felons,
cuts and all infiamed and irritated
skin surfaces. Resinol Soap by its
antiseptic and healing properties as
sists the work of Resinol Ointment.
Try a ffty-cent jar of Ointment, to be
gotten from your druggist, and you
will be more than satisfied with the
expenditure. Free sample can be had
by writing to Department IS, Resinol
Chemical Co.. Baltimore, Nd.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-03-21
MANY COURT DEATH
Hunters Every Year Venture
Forth on Niagara River.
kimrods Caught In Running Ice Jam
Observed by Man With Glass, Who
Watches Them Plunge Over
the Falia

Buffalo, N. Y.-The fascination Of
hunting must be very great when 1t
Will lure men out onto the Niagara
river in the winter to an almost GER
tain death trap. 1t seems that the
duck hunting is especially good but
very dangerous about a mile above the
falls. Every winter adventurous duck
hunters put out In small boats and
dodge the Ice cakes while they hunt
their favorite game. As a rule, how
ever, most Of the hunters perch them
selves upon a ledge of ice and hunt
from 1t. They take a terrible risk even
by this method. for the ice jam that
Is constantly moving down stream Is
at any time liable to dislodge the hunt
er's perch and down he goes a victim
to the merciless cataract.
Not many years ago two men were
observed in a duck boat trying des.
perately to row out of a running ice
jam which had carried them down the
Canadian channel from far up the
river. Their terrified efforts were
closely followed by a man with a spy
glass, who had discovered them from
the windows of one Of the large shore
factories on the American side. The
unfortunate men had already drtfted
too near the first roaring cataract to
admit of any possible rescue, SO the
watcher could only helplessly wait for
their pitiful death.
In describing the incident afterward,
he said: God, what could l do to help
them-what could any man do? The
Almighty alone seemed to hold them
In his power. One man seemed to be
wrenching his shoulders from their
sockets with the oars; the other stood
In the stern, desperately plying a pike
pole. An oar broke, and was replaced
by a third. The man didn't lose a sec
ond in its replacement. Then, in a
mighty stroke, the other oar went,
and he fell s%prawling back in the boat.
He stood up, pulled the good oar from
Its pin, and began padding insanely
from the side.
They made little progress. Slowly
the great field of ice swept them
down, down toward those snarling,
angry cataracts below. l writhed In
agony before the hopeless vision. Into
the rapids swept the fore part of the
ice jam. Then the first great wave
seemed to rise up and hover hungrily
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1912-03-21
Astonished

De Wolfe Hopper tells a good story
about the domestic unhappiness of an
other actor. The hero of the joke was
a man who had married because the
woman had much money, although NO
beauty. Naturally, after the wedding
ceremony and the acquisition of the
brides financial resources, the hus.
band was never very attentive to her.
Another member of the company in
which the couple were appearing was,
however, far more appreciatlve Of the
lady's charms, and proceeded to make
love to her in an ardent but stealthy
manner. The grand finale came one
evening when the actor discovered
the other man kissing his wife. The
fond lover stood petrified with fear,
and expected to be shot down the
next moment.
No such thing happened. The out.
ragged husband only lifted his hands
toward the ceiling with a gesture OF
intense surprise, and exclaimed:
"Merciful heavens! And he didn't
even have to-"