davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The record., 1912-07-11
Oriental Politics.

"Hi Lee, Hi Loo" he declared as he
read the evening paper.
"And why this ribald song?" asked
his wife, trying to get sniff of his
breath.
Il am not singing" he replied. 81
am merely trying to memorize the
names of the Chinese cabinet officers
The record., 1912-07-11
A Mode of coneealment

II want to keep the real facts con
cerning this transaction a secret,
said the enterprising man.
Then" replied the sage counselor
Il should Immediately start a contro
versy concerning it. Then so many
theories will be advanced that the
facts will never become public"
The record., 1912-07-11
Always a Way.

Il am beginning TO fear" said Rev.
Mr.. Goodman. that ! may be inject
ing too much humor into my sermons,
The people may fall into the habit of
neglectlng TO take me seriously"
"Oh, don't worry about that, DEAR
his wife replied. Whenever you be-
Gin 20 notice that they are not taking
you seriously just ash. them to raise
your salary
The record., 1912-07-11
She Waa Eoruixen.

Authoress--Good gracious, what a
state this place is in! You have been
reading instead Of doing your work.
Servant have been reading your
last poem, mum. and ii SO enthralled
me forgot everything else.-Fliegen-
de Biaetter.
The record., 1912-07-11
chsnainu Doctors.

what you need, madam, is oxygen.
Come every afternoon for your inhala-
tions. They'll cost you 81 each"
Il knew that the other doctor didn't
understand ny case" declared the
fashionable patient. HE told me all
i needed was plain fresh air."
The record., 1912-07-11

The girl with more time than mon
sy can make trimming for her taf-
feta gown that is at once smart and
appropriate. This is by fraying strips
IF the silk, making the frayed silk
fringe which is "a soft, pretty trim
ming, and an inexpensive one.
The record., 1912-07-11
omelets Drowned.

A woman who makes delectable
,meicts cooks them as usual over the
Ere until they are set and then puts
he omelet pan under the broiler Of
he gas stove and let's the top brown.
says an exchange. This makes them
slightly without hardening the eggs.
The record., 1912-07-11
sxmnathx for the Parrot.

Talkative and Abusive Old Lady
complaining of recently bought par.
rot)-And when ! talk to that parrot
he says some dreadful swear words.
Dealer don't blame, i'm, ma'am,
the poor bird Is only 'uman.-Every-
body's Weekly.
The record., 1912-07-11
Excelsior.

She-I'm afraid cannot marry you.
want a man who possesses a noble
ambition, one whose heart is set on at
tanning some high and worthy object.
He-Well. don't want you?
she-Oh. George. darling, / am
yoursi
The record., 1912-07-11
LOOKING Amend.

A popular local belle is very roman
tic.
Il think | had better get job be-
fore we marry" said her fiance.
The girl protested.
Don't be SO unromantic," she said
'T won't need any clothes for long
long time"
"But you may want to eat almost
Immediately, my dear"
The record., 1912-07-11
Cleaning Patent Leather Shoes.

CItdt'ITIy TdtcfEt EcatTre' 0r'0cos
The best way TO clean patent leath-
CT shoes is, after removing all the
dirt, to wipe them over with soft
cloth dipped in milk. Polish with a
dry cloth, and You will have bright
polish. besides preserving the leather.
The record., 1912-07-11
To Flavor Cakes,

II you desire to give delightful,
elusive flavor to cookies or small.
cakes. place them in IN air-tight jar.
Drop in an orange. lemon, apple or
a sprig of rose geranium. This i'm.
parts a novel flavor to the cakes.
The record., 1912-07-11
Excuse These Tears.

"I chose a pet word yestermorn
And now I'm feeling lonely.
Twas ',inly,' but as sure's you're born,
Tho printer made II ''only."
The record., 1912-07-11
Hast One2

The chap who has dreadful cold
Is very far frcm feeling jolly:
Is far more apt. IL truth be told,
To yield himself to melancholy.
The record., 1912-07-11
The Difference.

as your ncighbor's garden mach
cultivated?"
Yes; but he Isn't"
The record., 1912-07-11
Toward MornInu.

Mrs. Schnapps-I have no words to
express my contempt of you.
MIR. Schnapps-Tha's tn bes' news
I've heard for a long time, m'dear.
The record., 1912-07-11

The Preacher-Then you don't think
I practice what preach, eh?
Deacon Hayrick-No, stree. i don't.
Yon've been preaching on ther sub
iect resignation fer two years, and
,es Amt resigned yit.. SuA..st i. =.
The record., 1912-07-11
Sound Alike.

1T puzzles ME, indeed" says our
friend, the heavy thinker, moppipg his
beaded brow.
What puzzles you?" we ask, as is
expected Of us.
Il was just wondering II an eton
jacket is in the same class as din
ner coat"
The record., 1912-07-11

Wind o the south. come whisper now
Tie spell that shakes the blossom bough
The spell that wakes the waiting leaves
untii tney dance in wondrous weaves
of Jewell green against the blua
And show to us a world made new.
Wind o. the south, come nov and call
fhe vines uron Ire crumbfed wall
Until they Fit with springs owa blood
And open many a swelling bud,
And fill each gray and empty space
With restful strands OF CURING agrace.
Wind o. the south. come breathe again
Above the earth's cid wintry stain
Until the eager blades of grass
Leap up TO greet It's as We pass,
Let springs carpet -bc o,ire'Ied.
Starred with the dande.ions geld.
Wind o. the south. come o'er the miles
With promise OF the sumu5er whiles;
Come wa,sc the SILENT. sleeping 1rees.
And blow reyelIle II bed
And watt to us - trfuNfa
Caught from 81 Sa-s oom-
ss-fae o ias 30 - ,e5aF I6rr
For which we over x.
Como singing sinsi low
know,
Until the vibrant world shall be
Attuned to your glad melody.
The record., 1912-07-11
Just So.

The man who blows his own horn
often has to play second fiddle.
The record., 1912-07-11

N<N--01 1ss>NH
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-11-21
PecnIe kre Az ,I,ensa.

'The An. or-cGl ICO. ie have been so
busy DEVELOPING our rational re-
sources, opening mines, laying out
towns and cities. building railways
and factories, and subjugating the
forests and other great agencies nee
ton, they are just waking up to the
fact that our political parties have
been carrying on a charitable busi-
ness, so far as our citizenship has
been concerned. which, II persisted
I'm, win eventually enervate and en-
slave the will of the Celebrates
business consisting of begging. bar
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-11-21
RESOLUTIONS

Adopted by Editors Of the Demo-
cratic Press of Kentucky, at a
Conference Held Sept. 2sth, In
Louisville, Organizing the "Dem-
ocratic Editorial Association Of
Kentucky"
Whereas, There has been In
the past no organization of the
editors OF Democratic papers in
Kentucky similar to those exist
ing in neighboring states; and.
Whereas, The opportunity for
such an organization has been af-
forded by the action of State
Chairman Johnson N. Camden, In
calling together the members OF
the Democratic press Of Kentucky.
and the needs and advantage OF
such an organization has long been
felt in this state; therefore, be 1t
Resolved, That an orEaniza-
ton of the Democratic press OF
Kentucky be, and is, hereby made,
at this meeting today, under the
name Of the Democratic Editorial
Association OF Kentucky; be II
further
Resolved, That we appreciate
the opportunity Afforded by J. N.
Camden, the efficient. courageous
and farseeing state campaign
chairman Of the Democratic party,
in calling lis together today; and
be it further
Resolved, That we thank him
for his recognition and attitude
toward the press of the state. and
congratulate the Democracy OF
Kentucky for the course OF the
state central and executive COM
mittees in selecting Johnson N.
Camden as the chairman of the
campaign committee in the cleo
ton OF a Democratic president,
and that we greatly appreciate the
opportunity he has 80 graciously
accorded to the press OF Kentucky
in taking the initial step which
has brought US together"
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-11-21
Cure Appendicitis by
Pressing A Veriebra,

Chicago New. 10. Cure of APP
pendicitis soon will be commonly
effected without an operation,
according to DIR. Albert Abrams,
of San Francisco, who addressed
the first annual convention of the
American Association for the
study of Spondylorheraphy here
today. DR.. Abrams said the dis.
covery was made by pressing on
a certain vertehra, which has
the effect of Strengthening the
sigmoid flexurc, a loop in the
large intestines.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-11-21

Benton, Ky; Nov. IL. elias.
Hust, a travelling salesman for a
Paducah firm, as arrested at,
Columbus. Miss, by deputy
sheriff Waco. wanted on a
charge of seduction. The war.
rant was sworn out by Miss Ma
ry Pace, Of GilbertsvilIe. He
gave $500 bail and was released.
Hust formed the acquaintance
Miss Pace while teacher of the
Gilbertsville graded school in
1911
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-11-21
Dangers Of Earrings.

Indications are that earrings are
coming into fashion again-not the
diamond earrings which never go out
OF fashion-but earrings that are fash
toned from all kinds of material, Zig
neous and metallic. They will FOR
the most part be pendants and arden.
lovers in attempting to seize kiss
from the coy maid or widow will nnd
out how they may be hung up in a
coil Of tangled hair
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-11-21
d Cure Your Kidneys

MhHEfgNEy For Kidney, Bladder and Urinary Disesses
M&3>zEss 80 which, il neglected, often leads Brghts
Disease. KIDNEY FLUSH is safe, speedy
and satisfactory remedy for long standing
KIDNEY trouble, possessing wonderful antepc
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-11-21
Here's a Chance for the
Ananias Club.

Helena, Mont. Nov. 2. -Charg-
ed by wounded deer and una
BILE to use his rifle. which had
jammed. Clark Griffith. manager
of the Washington American
League team. saved himself
from probable serious injury by
his old time skill as a pitcher.
Selling store the size of a base
ball he threw and hit the animal
on the head telling it. He then
killed it with butt of his gun.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-11-21
For Chills & Fever

EaIg3sI r3.W OF all SCIENTIFIC Chill, Malaria and Aaue
90 cures, "EHIL-LAX' is the worlds great.
~ ~<S--~S~ Absolutely sure, safe and harmless
the person taking it, yet extremely fatal
to the malaria that in drives the poison
entirely of the system in days. Mild Family Laxative
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-11-21
ARE YOU SICK?'
} Fer Poison Blood

XII Fer Poison Blood
IL - Puriies the Blood, Cleanscs the Liver,
y -~-@-~-| Clears the Skin, Strengthens the Nerves.
Increases the appetite. For Catarrh,
Scrofula, Scrof1ous Humors, Ulcers
Humors and Pimples the Face Constipation Headache
Pains in the Back and all Blood diseases from any
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-11-21
R 20 The New Discovery

E#keN0AoExas3 For RHEUMATISM and GOVT, deep.
49, - seated and apparently hopeless cases, any
- age condition. Used by Specialists in
every quarter of the Globe Pleasant to take
Don't time with compounds cureals and inments
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-11-21

see the operation of the wireless tel
egraphy. These instruments that
send and receive the message have
first to be attuned to each other.
The instruments themselves are
placed in rooms on top of the high
est buildings, so that their vibra-
lions upon the waves of ether would
meet with no obstruction and their
message be detected.
an this instance, you gentlemen of
the press, are the operators In the
high towers Of creative thought and
influence, which guides and makes
that irresistible power-public opin-
ion. Some minds will not be attuned
to receive your message. But rest as
Sured that the good you do will not
die with this campaign.
Service For Humanity.
81 say now to you, gentlemen Of the
Democratic press of Kentucky, that in
responding to the imperious summons
laid upon you by our great party an
by our farseeing and courageous can
didate, who will not take the easy
road to the White House, you will be
performing as heroic service for hui
mainly as did the men who died for
their convictions.
1--WE can thank God that this will
be a bloodless battle, but we must
fully realize that it is second to none
Of the great struggles of the past for
he hafforpnopf IF mankind
Government by the People.
"Thus far have spoken ~ you
about the national campaign and the
obligations of the people to finance it,
so that when the Democratic admins
tration takes hold Of the reins Of gov
eminent, it will be unhampered by
obligations to anyone but the great
body Of the American people, free to
choose from among them the best
men to fill the Offices and to advoce-e
the best measures for their protector
and relief. thereby inaugurating in
reality a government of the people, by
the people
what / have said about financiny
the national campaign, of course, an
plies with equal force to the state
campaign, but fortunately the cost OF
running the state campaign will be
comparatively small. Under our plan
Of organization l feel that the
amount necessary will be raised with
cut much difficulty in the various
counties. as the people seem to appre-
ciate the importance and necessity Of
contributing to this fund and are do
ing so literally and cheerfully.
Il think we will all agree that the
wsrk to be done in Kentucky is to i'm
press the people with the importance
Of this election and the great oppor-
tunity of perpetuating Democratic
principles, and to this end to discour-
age in every way possible apathy and
eVerconfdence.
object Of Meeting.
There is no agency and no body
Of men in Kentucky better equipped
and qualified for this splendid service
than you gentlemen OF the press, ard
for the purpose Of discussing and dis
covering the best ways and means to
accomplish these ends we have met
today. l trust that you will SPEAK
your mind freely on this occasion and
let us have the benefit Of your expert
snce and thought"
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-11-21

at is pleasure to tell you that
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy is the
best cough medicine have ever used. I"
writes Mrs. Hugh Campbell, of La
vonia, Ga. 81 have used it with all of
my children and the results have been
highly satisfactory. For sale by all
dealers. n
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-11-21
GEN. ROBERT c. LEE.
To the Students Of Washington
College, Virginia.

Ny experience through life has
convinced me that, while moder-
alton and Temperance in all
things are commendable and bea-
eficial. abstinence from spiritu-
Gus liquors is the best safeguard
to morals and health.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1912-11-21

The forests of the Alaskan coasi
yield about 100000 board feet Of
humber year.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1912-01-23

tacles and slowing them away. Mon
sieur, this may be wonderful smile
but IL you could ever see one OF my
ducks smile--ah that Is something
All ambition TO make aesthetic
dent in this adamantine low-brow
oozed from me like handful OF shot
splitting out of wet, torn paper bag.
felt as II had wasted as much time
as II had been trying TO sell scenic
railway to a blind lacemaker. Elk
cuse my irritation! says, like an
architect whose design for a garbage
moderator has just been rejected be-
cause IL didn't have Gothic lines.
which is the soonest way out OF
here?,
Papa Boiteux jerked his thumb TO.
ward the window. waltzed over to IL
and looked down. Sixty feet, easy.
But why don't you go the way you
came?' he asked.
Because | said, there's man
down there wants me TO come down.
'But there wasn't. was there?" We
inquired innocently.
but there was" replied Tsidore
crisply. And he wanted me to come
down right away"
(Continued)
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1912-01-23

"Entombed alive, eh?" we remarked
after the Returned Commercial Mis-
sionary had left his plight sink in.
"Uh-huh."
mo doubt you Immediately became
frantic and beat against the cold, re-
morseless walls OF yoGr prison with
your unprotected fists until they
bled?"
Nix on the melodrama," answered
Isidor Macpherson. Il merely squat
ted there with my mouth open staring
at the place where the flagstone had
been inserted, until the match burned
my fingers or course, | tried TO prod
the slab open, but cement sets very
quickly and this had set just enough
oh, | admit | was unhappy. but didn't
! stage any of the frantic stun. Also II
occurred 10 me | wasn't so dreadfully
anxious 10 get out-that way There
was reason. The reason was Mona
Lisa. was beginning to feel that
had been naughty. They can be very
harsh with you In that La Belle France
for-er-carying out masterpiece.
1--WE told you So interrupted we
virtuously. 1T was a whole lot OF
| crust"
| "Or, look at il another way" re
sumed Isidore, my cake was al
| dough. Well, there was nothing TO be
gained by breeding over IL, SO tried
TO be llght-hearted and gay. | set out
again 10 follow my original bunch e
| show the picture TO Papa Boiteus o
the attic duck ranch, and then have
him help me out OF the place In some
manner. AS scrambled along through
the dark within the Louvre there were
points where only the thickness o
marble wainscoting separated me from
the interior. | heard no commotion
In fact, the picture wasn't missed unit
the following morning. But only
learned that afterward.
Admitting that they already missed
I 1t, | was safe enough Where i wa!
they wouldn't find me. I'd never have
been walled In by Jules. the plumber
II anyone had known | was there. Yes
indeed, would be safe for century
If cared to stay under cover, liki
\ Papa Boiteux. But that wasn't tn,
point. The point was that had TO ge
cut and sell a Hackensack hollow
ground hacksaw TO Jules the plumber
and all the other plumbers. So huI
ried TO where Papa Boiteaux was hold
ing forth In his duck ateller. We'll
here am again. chirped, like tn
clown in the Drury Lane pantomlme, a
popped up into his quarters for tn
second time from below. Hurry, TAX
a slant at this!' With which threy
out Mona Lisa for his inspection
"'Uh-what do you call it?' he ask
ed in his delightful old-fashione
French, when he had put a pair O
| horn-rimmed spectacles and closely eN
amined the 100000 painting 9TH
ciphers are mine).
"This is Mrs. Giaconda. otherwis
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1912-01-23
Books and Magazines.
MetrOnollian.

There are two color features in the
February Metropolitan reproductlon
OF one OF Sorolla's paintings ana
two-color dramatic insert with sketCn-
es OF the seasons successes by claire
Avery. There is a variety OF good ne
ton by Melville u. Post, John Gals
worthy. Charles K. Hayand +. u:
Wodehouse, besides an lnstalineht %
the new serial by Maurice Hewlett the
most important article in the Feoruary
issue is THE Case for LaFollette, oy
Medill Mccormick, followed by per-
sonal sketch Of the man by Angus NC
Sween. In Light Upon Tripoli" the
grizzlies practiced on the Arabs py
the italian soldiers are described by
Frank ]. Magee, an eyewitness a
New Idea In Theater Management py
Hamlin Garland is an interesting ac-
count of the aims and purposes or the
Chicago Theater society. In Memoirs
OF To-day" +. CunIiffe-O owens explains
why Arch bishop Ireland was not MADE
a cardinal with Decatur on the bar :.
barry Coast" Is a dramatic account oil
an episode in the early days OF our
navy,
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1912-01-23
From Another Point Of View

told ou---(to be continued)
There a anxious in Montreal
From down the d. T. RS
Resides it will straight ticket for
n
probably having and twisted SO Is
a either way II goes
without the OF support
rather had lin lie o about it.
comment upon the fact that for newspapers pup
fairly well in campaign
Germany machine to determine
OF hgnites manufacture OF
tleastw we car much
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1912-01-23
How Woodrow Wilson Got
Along With The Wolverines

that he meant and stood for all he
said.-Jackson Patriot.
Following a brief introduction by
Attorney Kirkby, who referred to the
governor as the next president OF the
United States. Governor Wilson, after
mounting table provided for the &C.
casion, began an address which was
plain, direct and had the ring OF sim
cerity and honesty. He put his audi
tors in happy frame by referring TO
the many pictures which had been
published OF himself and reciting a
limerick applicable to his facial adorn-
ment, which made everyone laugh
heartily and loud.-Jackson Citizen
Press.
No candidate for the presidency in
years has made better impression on
the public, which had the opportunity
OF listening TO him at his best, as did
the newspaper men, than that made
by Gov. Wilson In his visit to Detroit.
He did not deal in old-time platitudes,
but presented the questions of the day
in a clear, manly, Straightforward
manner, in a most effective manner,
yet offensive to none, and commanded
the attention OF all without regard TO
party afiiliation. as well as won the
respect of his hearers. There is no
question that IL a man Who is not
pleasing to the masses of Republi-
cans should receive the nomination.
and Gov. Wilson should become the
nominee OF the Democrats, he would
poll an immense Republican vote in
Michigan Wilson made an impress
sion on the members Of the various
press associations that he is not only
scholarly educator, but progressive
statesman, imbued with the spirit and
progress Of the times.-Hillsdale
Daily
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1912-01-23
The Wide World.

The February Wide World Magazine
Is full OF interesting stories gathered
together from all quarters of the globe.
The issue contains some startling stor-
les OF adventure. two-"The Ordeal OF
Mrs. Page" and Hung Up In a Cave
being particularly thrilling. Lars Lind
contributes a topical and well-illus-
trated article entitled Among the
Bedouins OF Eastern Palestine" and
Whitefield Fegen describes the curious
"Swfnging Festival OF Slam" Mar
guerite Roby continues her account OF
"A White Woman in the Congo" and
j. II Bill commences his descriptive
papers entitled: Across Persia and
Furope on Pony-back" Many other
articles and stories-all dealing with
real life-are 10 be found in the Feb
ruary issue OF this remarkable maya
zine,
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1912-01-23

The utter absence OF rash promises,
his refusal to indict leaders OF the
other party, his avoidance of a dis
cussion which would have been purely
problematical at best, show him to be
the true type of sportsman. He be-
iieves in fighting in the open, but
never when the enemys back Is
turned.
His closing plea for the rejuvena-
ton of America and the return TO the
time when the whole people will be
free to manage their own affairs
without suspecting each other, was a
classic in its simplicity and impressive
conviction.
Moreover, Governor Wilson satisfied
his hearers that, were he elected, he
would serve the people, rather than
the big nterests.-Grand Rapids News.
Yet there is about him that earnest
ness which carries conviction. There
is the studied care in each statement
he makes. Every sentence uttered is
complete and scholarly. There Is moth
ing OF the clown, nothing dramatic.
When he rose to speak TO his big
audience, he stood calmly erect and
gestures were few and easy. He did
not work at his job as many ind IL
necessary to do. His language was
polished, deliberate. His enunciation
was perfect and no word was lost. He
LAYS no claim to oratory. He talks
calmly and sensibly, yet his closing
was one of the finest bits of oratory
one would care to hear.-Grand Rapids
Herald.
He made no effort TO be flowery in
his remarks, but in his delivery he in
jected much force to what he said
Purity OF politics was the gist OF his
address, and he so impressed his hear
ers as TO leave no doubt in their minds