davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
WOMEN'S WAYS.

Frum the PittsburS Dispatch.
Sweden has decided to grant the suf-
frage to women. And not a window in
the royal palace has been smashed.
Prom the ST. Albsns Daily Messenger.
Who will be so unkfnd as TO say that
women who follow the dictates Of fash
ion and wear the new ''incandescent
hats" will be light headed.
Frum the Charleston Is. c. State
One OF these days Laura Jean Libbcy
will electrify humanity by following her
own advice to the pinIng lovers.
From the Houston Daily Post.
Gaby Deslys denies the rumor of her
marriage. Gaby has a contempt for
such fOrmalities as marriage.
From the Ohio State Journal
woman can kiss another woman
without involving the slightest percept-
ible interruption to the conversation.
From the Richmnnd Times Dispatch.
The Countess of Warwick is certainly
give up a lecture trip because she was
too old.
From the ST. Paul Disratch.
A physical culturist is authority for
the statement that nearly all Boston
girls are either bow-legged or knock
kneed. Not being from Missouri, We
will take his word for II.
From the Emirs ADVERTISE
An anti-suffragist warns the Easter
brides not to be too loving. Wonder
what she's driving at? There's no meter
on love.
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A Philadelphia woman married again
Just three minutes after her divorce was
granted-and yet some misguided per-
sons pay full fare TO Reno?
Prom the New York American.
The suffragettes talk of giving up their
Easter hats for the cause. Now we'll
have more room In street cars and SUBJ
way. - g.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
The Comedy of the Marathon Race

At the present lime, Sweden is en-
crossed in some novel problems which
have arisen over the coming Olympian
games to be held in Stockholm next
June. 1t is high time the query was
answered: Are the games 10 be inter
national and world-girdling, or are they
mott" Sweden is slowly trying to
think the situation out"
Should the arena be thrown open to
all nations, white, red, black, yellow,
and brown? A Japanese runner has
entered the Marathon lists. Entries in
he games have been received from Chi
nese and Turkish athletes. Can the
line be drawn against nations or races?
At present the entry sheets arc Open
But Sweden wants to know whether a
runner from Oxford or Harvard will
object to running against a bushman
from Australia or a sheep herder from
Tibet. She is not certain ahat strict
sporting internationalism Sill contrib
ute to her peace of mind.
Another question with humorous
favor is receiving much attention. Will
refreshments be permitted, as they were
in England? In the English run, won
by Johnny Hayes, of Brooklyn, tea and
soup and other refreshments were given
to runners along the route Prof Ray
Lancaster, London scientist, suggests
that it would be wise idea to allow the
racers to carry bag of oxygen gas, for
stinulative purposes. This suggestion
has been received with a certain ironic
condescension in sporting circles, it be-
ing held that oxygen is dope" and that
the same illegitimacy that attaches to
the doping" of race horse surely at
taches TO racer of the human species.
In short, controversy has already
broken out, and it will require much
tact and thought on the part of Sweden
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
City's Financial Growth.

In a carefully gathered set of facts,
the Washington Chamber of Commerce
issues a resume of the growth of the
city of Washington in the last five years,
which period also measures the life and
activities of that body of live business
wires, and contrasts this growth with
that of the five years preceding, The
report is full of satisfaction to all who
have the welfare of the city at heart. 1t
is also most gratifying to all who have
in any degree contributed to the great
advance which the figures indisputably
prove.
From this statement it appears that
the capital of the banks and trust COM
panies of the city has been increased by
nearly 100000, which is more than 20
per cent increase. The deposits in these
institutions have increased by more than
SI4,ooo.ooo, more than 80 per cent. The
bank clearances have been nearly S66,-
100000 greater, or more than 20 per
cent increase. Apd all of this in the last
FIVE years To our business men in
Washington, and outside of it as well,
these figures speak elOquently of the
growth of the cry, and they carry with
them message OF enterprise, progress
siveness, and initiative of the business
men of Washington that is both good
to hear and pleasant to tell.
Along with this, it is TO be remem-
bered that financial institutions that
do business under the shadow of the
Treasury and under the close inspec-
ton of the Comptroller are of doubly
assured financial soundness, and are
ideal fduciary institutions Can this
fact. which merits the confidence of the
people, be the great cause of the unpar-
alleled growth of these organizations
There have been, all over the city,
outward and visib. signs of this growth
and extension OF Washington's financial
institutions. which al, citizens must have
seen. New banks and trust companies
have been organized, old institutions
have enlarged their premises or moved
into larger ones. bank statements have
been most satisfactory, and, in the open
market, the stocks and bonds of the
financial and hduciary corporations of
the city have enjoyed remarkable sta
bility of price and are always in demand,
but not always for sale.
Considering th2t among economists
there is no more accurate and delicate
measure Of the financial condition than
are the banking institutions, always
quick to respond 10 conditions of pros
Pcrity or depres sion. the certainty and
truthfulneSs OF the message of sound
and extensive growth which Washing
ton banks carry is, indeed, most gratify-
.ng to all concerned.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
PURELY PERSONAL.

From the Newark Star.
Experts say manuscripts bought by
J. p. Morgan in Egypt for $4,000 are
spurious. Its always well to be eau
tious of this cheap truck.
From the Pitsburg Dspstch.
The German papers do not know
whether to be madder at Col. GoethaIs
for putting the Kaiser in the Ananias
Club or at the Emperor for being put
in IL.
From the Charleston Is. c. State.
One hears as little of Senator Cum
minis these days as il he were Vice
President of China.
From the Houston Daily Post.
DR.. Wiley has signed a contract for
one hundred lectures this year. 1t seems
that the doc is taking steps to avert
the Vice Presidency with which Albert
Burleson threatened him.
From the Birmingham Ledger.
In his old age Uncle Andrew Carnegie
has developed into a beauty specialist.
Who would have thought an ironmonger
would display so much estheticism?
From the Knoxville Sentinel.
Secretary Meyer is not much pleased
with the way Democrats kick his navy
plans around.
From the Florida Times-Unicu.
Madero says he will not resign. No
need for Tama Jim Wilson to make a
similar assertion.
From the Elmira Advertiser.
Jimmy Garfield says a third party is
a possibility. Seems to us that Jim is
the third party. the other two being
Roosevelt and Pinchot. .-
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The dollar-a-day pension bill is lost
again. Representative Sherwood ap-
psrently has permanent job at WASH
ington. 80 E..e
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
ANNIVERSARY DATA.
APRIL =, 1912.

The State Of Louisiana is one hun
dred wears old to-day. As a territory
IL was named louisiana in honor OF
Louis NV. King Of France.
Forty-ciCht years ago to-day ths
Union army suffered a severe defeat
at Mansfield. La. by the Con-
federates The Federal troops. under
Gems. Banks and Smith. retreated
under fire to AIeNandris. This battle,
known as the Red River expedition,
was afterward termed the Bull Run"
campaign uf the Southwest.
The Winthrop party Of American
coIonists sailed from the Isle Of
Wight for New England two hun
dred and elEhty-rwn years ago to-day.
The birth of William Williams n
being celebrated in Connecticut to-
day He was a signer of the Declara-
tiOn Of Independence.
An automobile record of five miles
in the remarkable time or 3:1s.ss was
established at Los Angeles one year
ago to-day in Fiat machine by De
Palma.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
STATESMEN, REAL AND NEAR.
By FRED c. KELLY.

letting his gambling friend have any
thing more-and the mans wife and
two Of his children caught cold and died.
An old law provides that the Secretary
Of the Treasury shall approve all plans
Of government architects for public build
ings. The theory seems to have been
that inssmuch as the Secretary of the
Treasury handles the money he should
pass on the plans, just as the head OF
family who puts up the money r.
commonly supposed to ok. the plans for
a dwelling house. after his wife and
daughters have decided where they want
the closets and bathrooms. But UP until
the time OF Franklin MacVeagh It so
befell that no Secretary of the Treasury,
so far as anybody can recall, knew any
more about architecture than the man
who thinks he can build a house for the
cost mentioned in the Ladies' Home Jour
nal. Secretary MaCVeaEh happens to
have had a hobby on architecture for
many years, and is the first Secretary
Of the Treasury TO pay much attention
TO that part Of the job. He subscribes
to number Of magazines OF architec-
ture. studies the different styles in books
and thinks a lot about IL. MacVeaEh
insists that a government building
should be not only durable but beautiful
beautiful in a way that will lead the
people in whatever part of the country
the building is to pay more attention
TO civic adOrnment.
Census Director Durand finds relief
from the figures that he sorts out by
day, in tinkering with carpenter tools
when he goes home. He Is addicted to
the homemade furniture movement and
imagines that many useful articles can
he made in the basement in a mans odd
moments.
4 good way 10 stir the wrath OF James
WiCkersham. delegate from Alaska. is to
walk right up and ask him IL his home
is in Dawson OIty.
II gets on Wickersham's nerves 10 find
the people Of the United States 81 ig-
nOrant about Alaska, and that inquiry
is one of the COmmOnest Nhlbitions OF
such ignorance. IL seems that Dawson
City isn't in Alaska At ALL but in Yukon
territory, British Columbia. \ few years
ago the Postmaster General Of the United
States wrote To the postmaster at Daw-
son and upbraided him for not sending
in his reports to the department, even
though. as WiCkersham points out. there
would have been Just as much sense I'm
the Postmaster General writing such a
letter to the postmaster at Montreal
Wickersham hasn't recovered from his
disgust over the incident even to this
day.
Congressman Stephens. OF California. is
an ra-enthUSiastiC lodge man. He
was in San Francisco attending a State
Masonic dOinCS. whom the earthquake
mussed things uU. All the other Masons
We're for catching a train and fleeing TO
some place "f safety. hut stephens said
nav. nav. they would go over to the
Masonic Tempt and finish their exercises
Part Of the t'wple was Caved in, but
they found a room with the walls still
standing and went ahead with their
ritual until soldiers came and chased
them away.
CCupyrght. Ial- hy Fri =. Kcny. All rights re-
Ss-vJi.l
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
Police and Firemen's Pensions.

To the Editor: The first thing I do
every morning is to look over The Herald
to see II can see anything about the
policemen's and fremen's pension. I saw
where there was a night session on the
government employees pension. but moth
ing done for the widows and orphans
only a donation from A. Carman & Co,
who sent a check for so. l said God
bless that company. My husband served
on the police force twenty-five years and
contributed s. q month to the pension
fund. thinking his widow would be pro-
vided for IL anything happened to him.
l so often think of the younger widows
and their little children. and wonder how
they are making out, high as living Is
now. I feel sorry for the little children
who cannot enjoy the Easter joys and
look as most other children. Has the
Senate bill fallen through?
ONE OF THE WIDOWS.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
His CursoTy Chances.

Frum LippincOttS
Aunt Caroline and the partner Of her
woes evidently found connubial bliss a
misnomer. for the sounds Of war were
often heard down in the little cabin IN
the hollow. Finally the pair were hailed
into court, and the dusky lady entered
a charge Of abusive language against
her spouse. The judge. who had known
them both all his life. endeayored TO pour
oil on the troubled waters.
What did he say to you, CarollneT'
he asked
why, jedge, ! jes' cain't tell you all
dat man do say to mc."
Does he ever Use hard language?"
Docs yo' mean cussin? Vas, sub: not
wifi his mouf, but he's always g5yin' ne
sem cussory glances,"
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
How Malta Became European.

From the London Chronicle.
Malta underwent a geographical as well
as a political change through its acquI-
sition by England in 1874 1t had always
been regarded as part Of Africa, to which
I. seemed to belong both from topogra-
ply and language. After its annexation.
however, Il was discovered that the gar
rison was entitled to the higher pay
granted to troops employed out of Europe,
and were therefore more privileged than
the soldiers in the Ionian Islands. To
remedy this Parliament passed an act
decreeing that so far as pay went Malta
should be regarded as part OF Europe
1t used to be Joke that Malta had be-
come European by act of Parliament. and
the Jest soon became q reality 49,
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08

listening to them for a while. Il Is much
easier TO appreciate good bagpipe music.
Song Ioosens up the disposition. softens
the heart, and removes the bile from
the temper. II II is a good song II causes
the mind TO soar and fills the listener
full of great thoughts. Songs have made
armies fight more valiantly, and have
also made small men who go to bed
early arise bravely and attack larger
men with unutterable ferocity.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08

2 The world is happier for song. and the
worse the song the more happiness IL
produces. In music ignorance is Pc
puliarly blissful. and the educated and
sensitive critics who bleed internally
when they move through the musical
masses without ear muffs are the most
Of men.
Copyright. 1872 by George Matthew AdamAl
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08

Joseph G. Cannon, one OF the older
members of our National Congress, went
into the dining-room of a Springfield
0llD hotel the last time he was in that
town and ordered substantial meal,
which included a portion OF potatoes. 1t
happens that the former Speaker is
wee triie particular about his potatoes.
and these didn't suit him.
II can't eat such potatoes" he told the
waiter. Just take these back and get
me some good ones"
The next mess wasn't any better than
the first. and once more Mr.. Cannon
called the waiter.
Take these potatoes to the proprie-
tor" he ordered. "and tell him I can't
eat them" And he laid his card on the
tray.
In moment the proprietor came in all
excitement.
what's the trouble. Mr. Cannon he
inquired.
mo trouble" replied the Congressman,
"only I can't eat your potatoes
And what's the matter with them
That" replied Joe Cannon. 'is what
would like to know. What Is the mat
ter with them"
Senator Chiffon has grabbed of tho hard
luck story stakes by a recital or the
true tale Of the difficulties that beteII
a constituent Of his down in West Nir-
GinIs.
The mans family was often left in
want because of his tendency to squan-
der his money at the gaming table. He
was forced TO borrow from time to time,
and as he never repaid such debts his
credit became somewhat impaired. The
chief Of the fire department in tho 1T
tie town was good natured and had lent
him money after all others had refused
10. But at last even the chief got tired
Of supporting a gambling joint by proxy,
and said never again.
Then the borrowing mans wife got
sick right at a time when they had no
coal in the house. He appealed once
more to the fire chief. and told him with
tears in his eyes that unless he could
raise $40 to buy coal for the base burner
his wife would catch more cold and die.
"Aw, I've heard that too often" NUT
tered the chief. when you Coin' 10
paw what you owe me already"
But tell you. chief. I've learned my
lesson. the man Insisted. TN never
gamble again. and IL I can get my wife
well now I'll work hard TO pay you
every cent ! owe you
We'll, remember thIs'H he the last
time" said the chief. as he pulled out
an old. worn pocketbook. Let's sec.
you have to have so. hey. don't know
that I've got that much" And he be-
gan to count his money over in his hand.
Five and two's seven. and ones eight.
and two halves is nine, and
Just then the fire bell rang and the
chief eNcitedly showed the whole hand
full OF money back into his pocket and
ran to mount the hose wagon. After the
fire was over he changed his mind about
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
EgEInE Them On.

The scene is laid in Tripoli.
''Ah, a battle!''
See them charge"
who is that dauntless hero who Is
cheering on the combatants?''
Il think he works for a moving pic
ture concern explained the guide.
Then the tourists started for the Pyra-
mids.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
LITTLE NONSENSE.
THAT DROP or INK.

You've heard about that drop Of ink.
That drop which may make thousands
think
And now I claim
You see the same
Upon the sporting page Of pink.
That drop CT ink. It's very clear,
VIII always with the lspeing appear.
That drop of ink
Makes thousands think
They'll have a winning team this year.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08

10 avoid the bitterness and jealousies
which the last Marathon engendered
among the nations.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
sounds Good.

THE japanese utilize flowers as food"
1t isn't such bad idea at that. Think
OF daffodil pickles and crocustard."
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
A Bu<ine.s Conference.

The bookkeeper came out looking mys-
terious and called for the Office boy.
What you been doing?"
"Nuthin'"
THE boss wants to see you right away.
/ guess it's the bounce for yours"
Nix" declared the Office boy. 81
know what he wants"
what does he want?'
He wants to know what new players
have been signed.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
April y In History.

April s. 1s1l-The first straw hat OF the
season is seen on the streets
April s. I755-Dr. johnson evicted for
nonpayment of rent
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
Better Pay.

When grim domestic warfare has
Involved our fiat,
The price of peace is quoted as
A new spring hat.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
Uncle Pennywise saysi

There are two reasons for being mar
ried In dress suit. young man. It's
fashionable. and it's your last chance TO
get a dress suit.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
New York Journalist,

Here's a man who claims to under
stand birds
'well?'
Cant We feature it?''
I'VE might" replied the editor Of the
New York paper, III IL were played up
properly. Send him out to get an inter-
view with the first robin and let's see
what he makes OF it,
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08
HI. ExncrIrnce.

Some people think it's sharp TO adver-
tise," sneered the merchant VINO didn't.
"I think Il is,' said the other merchant.
81 know it's dull IL you don't"
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08

Frum the PittSburg Dispatch.
Sweden has decided to grant the suf-
frage to women. And not a window in
the royal palace has been smashed.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08

Census Director Durand finds relief
from the figures that he sorts out by
day, in tinkering with carpenter tools
when he goes home. He Is addicted to
the homemade furniture movement and
imagines that many useful articles can
he made in the basement in a mans odd
moments.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08

Frrm the Charleston Is. c. State
One OF these days Laura Jean Libbcy
will electrify humanity by following her
own advice TO the pinlng lovers
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08

frpul the IlefelAnd fAin DeAlet
Philadelphia woman married again
just three minutes after her divorce was
granted-and yet some misguided per-
sons pay full fare 10 Reno?
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08

The suffragettes talk of giving up their
Easter hats for the cause. Now we'll
have more room In street cars and sub
way. .
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08

Prom the St Albsns Daily Messenger.
Who will be so unkind as TO say that
women who follow the dictates Of fash
ion and wear the new 'incandescent
hats will be light headed.
The Washington herald., 1912-04-08

The German papers do not know
whether to be madder at Col. Goethals
for putting the Kaiser in the Ananias
Club or at the Emperor for being put
in it
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-03-01
AKED EQUAL TO SITUATION
Example Of the Soft Answer That
Turneth Away Wrath-Also
ths Truth.

One OF Dr. Aked's most ardent sup
porters when that divine was pastor
OF Mr.. John ID. Rockefeller's church
is fond of telling what he considers =
striking example OF DR.. Aked's wilt.
DR.. Aked was fond OF taking long
country walks, and one day. being lar
in the country and wandering through
field. he and his friends noticed
sign nailed to a tree. mo trespassing
here"
Hurrying to get out of the forbid
den ground they met a farmer who as
sailed them grimly with the remark:
"Trespassers in this field are prose-
cuted."
DR.. Aked smiled at the irate far
mer.
But we are not trespassers. my
good man." said he.
what be you thenY" demanded the
farmer.
1--WE are Presbyterians, my dear
sir" replied DIR. Aked and walked
away.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-03-01

from Inflammation, and your Sanativs
Wash relieved me. / am glad to tell
anyone what your medicines have done
for me. You can use my testimonial in
any way you wish, and / will be glad
to answer letters. = Mrs. CHRISTINA
REED, 105 Mound ST., Peoria, Ill.
Mrs. Lynch Also Avoided
Operation.
Jessup, Pa.-"After the birth Of my
fourth child, ha1 revere organic infiam-
nation. Iwould have such terrible pains
that it did not seem as though could
stand It. This kept up for three long
months, until two doctors decided that
an operation was needed. s
"Then one Of my friends recommended
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound and after taking 1t for two months
Twas a well woman. Mrs. JOSEPH A.
LYNCH, Jessup, Pa
Women who suffer from female ILL
should try Lydia E. Pinkham's vegeta-
BILE Compound, one Of the most SUCCESS
full remedies the world has ever known,
before submitting to surgical opera-
ton.
The Elbert County tribune., 1912-03-01
cHILD'S HEAD
A MASS OF HUM0R

II think the Cuticura remedies are
the best remedies fer eczema I have
ever heard OF. My mother had a child
who had ragh on its head when It
was real young. Doctor called 1t baby
rash. He gave US medicine. but 1t did
no good. In few days the head was
a solid mass. running sore. 1t was
awful; the child cried continually. We
had to hold him and watch him to
keep him from scratching the sore.
His suffering was dreadful. At last
we remembered Cuticura Remedies.
We got dollar bottle OF Cuticura Re-
solvent, a box of Cuticura Ointment.
and bar of Cuticura Soap. We gave
the Resolvent as directed. washed the
head with the Cuticura Soap. and ap-
piled the Cuticura Ointment. We had
not used half before the chilG's head
was clear and free from eczema. and
& has never come back again. His
head was healthy and he had a beau
tiful head Of hair. think the Cuti-
cura Ointment very good for the hair.
1t makes the hair grow and prevents
falling hair" (Signed) Mrs. Francis
Lund. Plain City. Utah. Sept. 10. 1910.
Although Cuticura Soap and Oint-
ment are sold everywhere, a sample
of each. with 32-page book. will be
mailed free on application to "Cuti-
cura," Dept. L. Boston.