davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-04-19

FOR SALE-Stawberry plants, at
the Bakersfield plSce, No, II South
Sherman Ave. ID. @. Wood
IS A.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-04-19

| have just received disc
roller and am prepared to sharpen
discs. Bring them to the Chas.
Young Blacksmith Shop.
2-23-tf North Kansas Ave.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-04-19
Loans To Make

We have two small loans to
make $500 and $500, Oklahoma
land preferred.
Chas. Molter
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1912-04-19

FOR PAINTING, papering and
decorating see f. e. BREWER, Be-
sides the 5000 rolls of wall paper |
now have on hand, | have the agency
for the Alfred Peats Wall Paper Co.
of Chicago with will assure you Of
the very latest creations in wall dec
oratlons. Telephone No. l66 will
bring SAMPLES to your home. 4-5-lf
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1912-10-31

ed in Red River when storm over
took them while boating.
Hillsboro, Ill.-Former repre-
sentative Edward Lane died here
of heart disease.
Milwaukee,. w. Engle-
hart, p, who says his father is
wealthy St. Louis lawyer, arrest
ed for stealing two typewriters
and two. grips from local Y. M.
c. A.
San Francisco. = Lee Jon,
Chinaman, wants divorce because
his wife is getting too muchee
mclean, alice timee wantee
boSsee."
Portland, Ore. - Attorney
Huntsman, pleading case here,
asked for 4 hours time because
he had talked four teeth loose.
New York.-Walter Morris,
manager of San Roma hotel,
dropped dead of heart disease
when he heard hewsboy shouting
that Sherman was dead. Had
just left Roosevelt meeting at
Madison Square Garden.
Melbourne, Australia 800
love letters, dating back from
1889, have been found among eff
fects of bachelor, who died here
at age of 81.
Munich.-Wife of schoolmaster
paid Maria Kefer, Gypsy; $500 to
cure her of headache because she |
though Gypsy was related to
Devil. Three years in prison for
Gypsy.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1912-10-31

face and is shy tooth as result of
fall from horse, is recovering.
Princeton, N. Gov. Wilson
returned today to prepare speech
he will deliver at Madison Square
Garden, N. Y, tonight.
New York. - Mrs. Eleanor
Walsh, attacked by mad dog,
fought for IS minutes with beast.
Bitten rs times from shoulders to
feet.
New York obber bound
cigar clerk hand and foot and pro-
ceeded to rob store. Customer
came in. Robber sold him some
stogies and then went on with his
work. Escaped.
New York.-Boys tied wire
loop to end of street car. Kate
McDonough, 10, crossing street,
stepped in loop and was dragged
2 blocks. Badly injured.
NeWDury, Fa.-NIlaS. meyers
New York, left train here dressed
in pajamas because porter forgot
to wake him in time to dress.
Neutrality-suspicious. Social
ist congressional campaign COM
mittee filed statement Showing
that from May l to Oct. "a it had
collected $42,755 and had spent
$40,624.
Louisville, Ky.-Dr. J. w.
Foltz, himself a patient, burned
to death. 20 others narrowly es-
capped when fire swept Martins
vile sanitariun.
Jacksonville, Ind.-27 inmates
of Indiana ReformatorY. trans
ferred by special car to state
The Hawaiian gazette., 1912-06-25
Small Talks

EDNGs-Now rOmp white
House.
thingj
field make all the people there blue
to my Adding Machine
suggestion Ne joyrdng already
R. W. good Republican he this
fall he will with the and help it victory
of returned
vast my contemplated trip
CARL w1DEN1ANN-If the Republicans 90 into the campaign this fall
without Kuho the head the ticket they will not be able elect
a deputy sheriff
H BROWN seldom ever lose an election bet have won few
already with regard and believe the in the
presidential this fall
l. YoUNe-rhe contracts of the 1ordYoung company aggregate
100000 plenty of work all the Islands
dcaly all the laborng people
swADEN Territorial immigration omcer-rhey are doing great
at
improvements mi
PROFESSOR aARv1N heard such swell singing anywhere as when
o
waians a certainly people.
PROF. W. A BRYAN1m having quite time getting the
biological laboratory
hope we will be successful in everything
Newport
fifteen practically
the beach in
TowsE-The OF
doing a of that will show results in time.
ndugmg pos
sibty of to
Why lots of better than Roosevelt their ranks
ACTING CHIEF KE1IETT some Of b men who commit criminal
little girls Honolulu terrible of
Filipino
sian girl but the hard to work out
L. greater of
pnr business ipa ne nsooo,v ad n 20 5 f th s o
hant
planned great
SAM cI1LLINGWoRTHWe have about
fashioned rain for about think
Right a
it their lawns all day long and of them night
WALTER be
shaking the apathy off the people getting
real Odfaslioned Fourth July Chairman
celebration committee is working like while
Chlngwort has the mapped military
something
PRIVATE people
bluejackets military establish
lment here
The Hawaiian gazette., 1912-06-25
CAPTAIN SMITH At LAST GETS STORY
OF HIS ESCAPE OFF HIS MANLY CHEST

OF all local residents blessed with
patriotic parents, there are none known
better than Captain Paul Smith. Now
Captain Smith, destined by Fate to
bear the name of Captain John of
Poeahontas fame, was further distin-
guished by his parents who bestowed
ON him the given name of Paul Revere.
Captain Smith lifetime indeed has
been spent in attempting to live up to
the combined fame of his well known
namesakes, but never until month ago
did he succeed in his ambition and alas
when he reached home no one would
listen to him.
80 Home" in that instance was reek-
ing with Titanic news. The lterati
were recalling the inevitable previous
examples. So no one would listen to
Smith, The reaction set in, of course,
but it was not until yesterday that the
captain S chance came.
There has been a family of Russians
and one Spanish lady, Sonora ARA
gona, at the immigration station with
which Captain Paul is associated. The
senior has been laid up in the Japanese
Charity Hospital and the alluring offer
of fourteen dollars n month from the
Makaweli plantation did not tempt the
lady to leave the scene of her hus-
band s residence. Captain Paul used
to try to spring his yarn on the Rus
slams, but they threw trunks at him
and he had to desist Yesterday, how
ever, he shipped the crowd off to Paua-
! hau on Hawaii. He then shooed the
little Spanish lady into corner, plant
ed soap box in front of her and
started In.
'iYou see," he commenced, "when
reached Gibraltar, / stayed there only
| two days
''Pero 70 no" expOstulated the
lady.
"Oh, shut up, be still, can't you,
snapped the captain irritably GAS
was saying, only stayed in Gibraltar
two days where left them two Portu
goose who were sent back and then
went straight to Lunnon. / had only
been there a few days when up from
Gibraltar comes tearing a letter from
the people here in Honolulu. 'Ge
busy they says, and scratch aroun'
for some onion seed, we haven't go
any over here,
"Well, the blamed cable had bee
late, so ! wired for further order
aud took in the grand opera at Coven
Garden. Raymond Brown was in Lur
non kicking up dust around the steam
ship Offices and he and me ehumme
around bit. Finally when no order
come, Brown says to me, You bette
beat il home. They don't want an
onion seed, anyhow
$50 ] packed up and hit II over I
Liverpool where ! hooked on the Titan
aud few days later went aboard iul
The Hawaiian gazette., 1912-06-25

as they were casting loose. We were
pretty well out in the stream when
heard big noise coming out of Eng
land. There was a splutterin' and
cracklin that was sure terrifying and
came hikin' down to the boat and
waves telegram at me.
$50, Captain Paul Smith, he yells,
Here's a telegram for you to come
back to Iunnon, right haway.'
$50 I picked up my grip and went
up to the bridge and shook hands with
Captain Smith, namesake of mine,
and says to him, well, captain, good
bye, I'm darned sorry I can't go with
you, but duty's duty, you know, and
over the side I goes into the pilot boat.
81 went back to Lunnon and Brown
met me at the station. Sorry, old
top Is prism how r. C. has took
up eockney since he went away. But
| Doctor Clark just wired you to go to
I Teneriffe for honion seed next week.
| So I unpacked and waited and pretty
soon I got another cable saying, come
home quick. Onions all provided for.
So I goes home, pretty dinged mad, let
me tell you, until I got into New York
and I heard about the Titanic going
down off Cape Race with one less per.
son on board than there would have
been if it ISN'T for those blessed
darling, dear, lovely onion seeds"
"Pero yo no hablo Inglese," weeped
the sonora.
go, well, it doesn't matter" re
Piled Captain Smith airily, 81 got il
off my chest, anyhow. :"
The Hawaiian gazette., 1912-06-25
TO SUE STAR.

Word has just been received here
from Hilo, that William Heen, deputy
county attorney for the county of Ha-
wall, win institute proceedings against
the Hawaiian Star Newspaper Associ'
alton in the sum of $4,000 damages for
alleged libel.
II is alleged by Mr.. Heen that Wal
ter G. Smith, editor of the paper, at
tackled him and thirty other persons as
alleged fraudulent homesteaders in the
ease Of certain Hawaii Island lands.
Rev. s. L. Desha started another suit
some time ago against the same com
pany in the sum of $4,000.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1912-06-25
A GOOD FRIEND.

No one can have better friend when
troubled with collie or diarrhOea than
Chamberlain IS Collie, Cholera and Diar-
rhoea Remedy Ever since the middle
aged man of today was child il has
been going about doing good until its
fame has spread TO nearly all parts of
the civilized world and stands unrival'
led for its prompt cures. 1t never fails
10 give relief For sale at Benson,
Smith & Co., Ltd. Agents for Hawaii.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1912-06-25

.
How my dear old fathers LongfGOw the
sight Of japanese hacking Punchbow Not that they
anything beautiful the famous tree about which he whoe so
toucng but they and such deserve better treatment than
the hands of band of unfecng ocnas egsed
vandalism by equally unfeeng business manager of still more
Personally have personal feeling for trees There
really. fellow feeling for joke and who smile
at most deandngy every time they see you n there arc trees
meeting in Spring time Trees that eer
that grin fooshns short all sorts and
there kinds of people in the
world nd every knows that is
about question aborea is be wondered at
number of being hacked and
holiday OF there is nothing that we
right its
pleases of the growing timber thereon Yet it does
all and written about the conservation of the trees
Kahawe efforts liquidation the
the hills Oahu would have proved avalg
Only haveb to
sequences sighted policy cutting timber not mpeavey
supply districts Honolulu short that
the housewives forced " do their washing night and other odd times
of through the pipes The
that the aran supply running low Instead of having been conserved
months had made their directly the
Result repnishg of the underground supply Second
We going right ahead
left world right DOORS and all the fresh
reservoirs be that
children will better but all probability will then be too late
However Kapoani probably its earthly affairs
that time that has no bearing the at point
Teddy again presidency,
that his old competitor for the big chair William Jennings Bryan
will be Bryan record
ves By next election time it will be just sixteen since he
swept u the political horizon and became one of the notable men of
That of his 1896 memorable and his
cinchOn the House..
his
Fredericksburg
Washington countryside present
bright September when escorted out When
the platform he found that close the Mary,
and his the wmankind Amer
brilliant him If the sufragtes will look back the
files find Ban Fredericksburg Speech he will find them all
at his
Byan then entered Washington tired with his throat but
still baseball
e 100 nf was ug @ noe % ~ wa" NOT o a,nn@ %n asn'O"o
his napkin end into his collar and tackled his food like Nebraska farm hand
y ~
Now that the convention far as William Howard Taft is
either
F appoint his If until Secretary
Fisher August looks Washington his
$
the meanwhile
a lot
fatty reservations that
the Republican this fall Governor
they think the Governor be named and they made their minds
Delegate graceful chance of the
Other Republicans
believe the will be renomnaed
trouble the local g. p if Kuho either nominated
convention,
there is to Repub
this fall the of the KuhOFrear fight be
if Kuho be candidate if Fear be reapponed
another candidate
believe Republican
fin a to a
enough Territory he be
the Kuhio candidacy is settled the settlement
he OF al
his successor What Secretary Fisher finds out be attended
later Governor be grevousy
mis- resignation this time he should be named for his second
The Hawaiian gazette., 1912-06-25
SUPPORTED TWO.

Punkyno
q plainly
This big hotels" waiter
"fhey're bum"
just it, explained fnetOnary, leavn
other place goKansas City
The Hawaiian gazette., 1912-06-25

"0oing make a garden this sphngi"
'Noi I'm busy experimenting that dor negbor" Kansas
CITY Journal
The Hawaiian gazette., 1912-06-25
Tolls.

A good deal will depend to what
extent the Suez canal will reduce
theirs. Two reductions have been
made in the past year; the present
rate is $1.30. We do not know what
the Panama tolls will be, but it is
proposed to give the President author
ity to fix the tolls, the maximum to be
$1.25. The amount will ultimately be
determined by ordinary trade competi-
ton.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-02-20
AN EFFEcTUAL PRAYER.
Story of a Debt That Was Paid With.
out Money!


out Money.
NO" said the lawyer, II shan't
press your claim against that man;
you can get someone else to take your
case. or you can withdraw it, just as
you please"
Think there isn't any money in
it?"
There would probably be some
money in it, but 1t would, as you
know, come from the sale Of the little
house the man occupies and calls
home: but I don't want to meddle
with the matter, anyhow"
Got frightened out of it, eh?"
mo. I wasn't frightened out of it."
II suppose likely the old fellow
begged hard to be let OFF,"
"Well. yes, he did"
And you caved, likely?"
"No, didn't speak word to him."
"Oh, he did all the talking, did he?"
YES"
."And you never said a word?"
Not a word"
What in creation did you do?"
II believe I shed a few tears"
And the old fellow begged you
hard. you say?"
mo. I didn't say so; he didn't
speak a word to me-"
"Well, may respectfully enquire
whom he did address in your hear
ing?"
God Almighty"
"Ah, he took to praying, did he?"
Not for my benefit in the least.
You see and the lawyer crossed his
right foot over his left knee, and be-
gan stroking his lower leg up and
down, as If to state his case concisely;
you see, I found the little house easi-
ly enough, and knocked at the outer
door, which stood ajar; but nobody
heard me, so 1 slipped into the hail.
and saw, through the crack Of an
other door, just as coZy sitting room
as there ever was. There on a bed,
with her silver head way up high on
the pillows, was an old lady. who
looked for all the world just as my
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-02-20

Elephants Can't Jump.-"There is
one thing no one has ever seen an ele-
phant do either in a circus or out Of
it. and that is to jump" said keeper
in the Central park menagerie.
THE fact is an elephant cannot
jump. Because Of his great weight he
cannot take all four feet off the ground
at once. He may make a 100-yard dash
at the rate of twenty miles an hour,
which is going some, but If he was
pursuing an enemy and came to a
deep ditch eight feet across he would
have to stop short, because it Is too
wide for him to step it and he is una
BILE to jump. An elephant is a great
coward. He will have a fit If a rab-
bit runs between his feet. He has
tremendous strength, but he doesn't
know it."-New York Sun.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-02-20

Married Young An amusing in
cident happened some time ago in one
of Paris courts of justice. A vain,
naughty woman was called as a wit
ness, when the magistrate inquired
her age.
twenty-five last August" promptly
replied the lady.
The next witness was young man,
who at once acknowledged that he was
twenty seven years of age.
Are you related to the last wit
ness?" inquired the magistrate.
Yes; I'm her son." he replied.
"Ah!" unused the magistrate, your
mother must have married very
young"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-02-20

less he keeps his wits about him. If
he's standin' up in a car the stall an
noys him first. Then he shoves q
newspaper under the victims chin as
the car goes around q curve, and the
trick Is done.
"A safety cath on the end of the pin
may keep 1t from fallin' out, but they
never bothered me. I practiced for
months loosenin' safeties with my
thumb and third finger while copped
the pin with my first two fingers un-
til could get any stone ever saw.
don't say that / could do 1t today,
even II I would, because / had to work
on the rock pile during my last bit and
my fingers are a bit stiff yet and the
nails all worn down.
IT'S the same way with the safety
chains on the watches. AS soon as I
feel two snaff1es on the ring of q
watch I know there's a safety. My
fingers slide into the vest pocket and
unfasten the safety from the pocket.
They're all on the same pattern, and
dead easy. If people were only wise
enough to sew one Of the links Of the
safety chain into the lining Of the vest
pocket, we'd never be able to lift a
set, but I hope you won't print that,
because I might have to go dippin'
L
"Fobs? They're what we call easy
lpullups.' Any man that wears a watch
on the end Of fob ought to get rob-
bed. There ought to be a law against
'em. They're q temptation to every
dip that's turned straight. Why, you
don't need any stall to make pullup.
You just brush by the victim and pull.
IOf course ,once in a while there's a
safety hooked onto the fob, and in that
case there's a fall Anyone might wear
a fob If he sewed in link Of the safe
ty, but few are wise to that game.
"Chains a protection? Not on your
/ life! When I see good chain with
some patent arrangement about the
off close up to the link. For a dollar
you can get a little pair of nippers
that'll fit into your vest pocket. They'll
bite through a steel chain without
maxim any noise. That's what we
call 'nippin' slang Most all the dips
carry nippers specially for platinum
chains and lockets with stones in 'em.
The swellest dips amt botherin' with
stones and watches nowadays, though.
Whats the best way for the public
to protect themselves against the dips?
Keep away from crowds, In the first
place. We often make the crowds
ourselves bv hirin' some hobo 70 flop
over on the sidewalk.
Look out for the man who sits or
stands beside you with his arms folded
in such a way that the hand nearest
you Is out of sight. He may be cross
you Is out of sight. He may be cross
in his mitt' on you ready for a touch.
"And always look out for the we'll
dressed man that sits near you or
stands near YOU. That's your one best
bet"-St. Paul Pioneer Press.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-02-20

Not Able to Cry.-This is a really,
truly Irish story which was told at
Tammany hall the other day: When
an Irish county court was about to
open its session recently the discovery
was made that the court crier was alb
sent. A substitute was provided and
the court had hardly taken up a case
when a breathless messenger boy
dashed in with a telegram from the
absent officer. The missive was hand
ed to the Judge, who read:
"Wife's mother died last night. Will
not be able to cry today"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-02-20

SUNDAY Folks."-When DIR. John
Cairns went from Scotland to Ireland
for rest and travel in 1854 he was at
once delighted by discovering from
the guides who showed him about that
most of the landed gentry were Sun
day folks"
That's a fines CASTLE" he would
say, pointing to a big house set like
a crown on some rocky hill.
"Yis, SORT" said his guide. otis Sir
John O'Connor's," or, Tis Sir Rory
O'More's." He always added, He's a
Sundah mon."
At last DR.. Cairns grew curious.
What is a Sunday man?" he ask
ed.
We'll, sorr, it do be mon thot has
so many writs out ag'in him for debt
that he stays shut up tight in his
house all the week and only comes out
on Sundah, when the law protects
him."
DR.. Cairns opinion of the landed gen.
try underwent a change.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-02-20

Poet Meets Poet.- A north Missouri
farmer whose hog was killed by train
wrote to the company's claim agent
for a settlement, says a writer in the
Columbia Statesman. He penned his
communication thus: Dear Sir: My
razor-back strolled down your track
a week ago today. Your twenty mine
came down the line and snuffed his
life away. You can't blame me, the
hog, you see, slipped through cattle
gate; so kindly pen check for ten,
the debt to liquidate."
He received the following reply:
"Old twenty mine came down the
line and killed your hog, we know;
but razor-backs on railroad tracks
quite often meet with woe. Therefore,
my friend, we cannot send the check
for which you pine. Just plant the
dead, place DER his head, Here lies a
foolish swine.-Kansas City Times.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-02-20
Humorous department.

The Spurned Druggist. - South
Trimble, clerk of the house Of repre-
sentatives, was talking to Washing
ton correspondent about diplomacy.
In a public post" he said, great
diplomacy is needed. The man in a
public post must be diplomatic all the
time. Otherwise he will be treated
like the druggist.
"A druggist, late one cold winter
night, was awakened by the tinkle of
his emergency bell. 1t was boy. The
druggist slipped on a dressing gown,
went shivering down stairs, and found
the boy wanted 2 cents worth of
chewing gum.
Its like your cheek the druggist
growled, to wake me I'D at this time
of night for a paltry cents worth
AT this the boy scowled, threw
down the gum and pocketed his cents
again.
Like nv cheek, is it?' he said.
Then I'll take my custom somewhere
else. You can keep your chewing
gum. I won't have 1t now. after your
sauce
And he stalked out wrathfully, and
the poor druggist went shivering back
to Washington Star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-02-20
Movino sueeessward.-Joseph N

Moving Sueeessward.-Joseph M.
Gates was talking about the super
fluffy of show girls in Manhattan.
Every opening, he said, has a
dozen show girls clamoring to fill 1t.
I got thirty or forty positions in de-
partment stores last week. The sur
plusage of show girls is due to the
fact that so many artists models have
turned to theatricals this winter.
THE models say there is no work
for them. Art Is in a bad way. The
rich collectors buy nothing but old
masters from abroad"
Mr. Gates smiled.
But it would be nearer the truth" ;"
he went on, ito say that lots of artists
are failures. Even the successes, you
know, are only half or quarter sue
cesses-like the young surgeon.
"How is your surgeon son doing?'
asked one old man of another.
"'Oh, fine!' was the reply. Fine!
he performed his eleventh appendici-
tbs operation last week and the pa
tient lived three hours! New York
Morning Telegraph.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1912-02-20

Stopped the Heekler.-Having done
his best by every fair and unfair
means during the last election to catch
the candidate tripping the heckler
grew extensively personal.
"Is it true that your mother wash
es-" he began, but before he could
add the word Clothes" the witty can
didate called out smartly.
"Of course she does. Why, don't
you?"
This raised a loud laugh at the heck
ler's expense, but still undaunted he
returned to the attack.
"You can't deny" he said, that
your father was a rag and bone man.
I bought some clothes Of him thirty
years ago."
"And I see you're still wearing
them!" was the candidates lightning
retort.
There was no more heckling that
night.-Tit-Bits.