New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1912-07-02
TIRED DELEGATES HAVE
NOW AND THEN A LAUGH

lcry" The Judge arose and yelled 70 ti1'
clerk. y will come down to the Tennessee
section and vote"
"Yote right where you are" yelled bac'
the clerk. whereupon Judge Williams sans
out in loud tones, Oscar W. Underwood
! The woman with whom he had been chat
ting was Mrs Underwood.
! NO KNOCKING.-A sign pinned on W. J
Brvan's door to-day read; DO not knock
am asleep. W. J. B ~
Some ono added footnote. do not
knock when you wake. Champ Clark.
! HOOsIER AMENITIES.--Tom Taggar
and John w. Kern met in the elevator after
the session Of the convention this AFTERNOON
"Thero are lot OF people who would
like TO gee you nominated who are not cast
ing their ballots for you, JOHN said MT
, Taggart.
| Eyes, Isuppose that IS So replied Sen
ator Kern, II am not even voting for my
self"
"You are losing glorious chance" said
Taegart. as he got out Of the elevator.
Foss FIZZLE.-Foss banners. placards
and handbills appeared all over the city TO-
day. but the display In the convention "@s
rather a sad affair. After Ollie James, the
nernanent chairman. had instructed the
notice this morning to arrest any persons
irving 70 come into the hall with banners
for any candidate whatever, man with
mean disposition remarked
That order will stop Foss nzzle.
rrpFNEN TO THE RESCUE.-some-
body managed to get away with the con
vention badge OF Fire Commissioners Joseph
Johnson. OF New York, when he was not
looking to-day. When he reached the con-
yention hall he could not get In. Suddenly
an tnspiration seized him. He hunted up
the deputy chief Of the Baltimore Fire De-
hartmann. who is in charge at the conven-
ton.
81 am the Fire Commissioner from New
York city" said johnson. somebody has
stolen my badge, ana can get '"' 0''
that appeal to your
..It does" said the Baltimore fireman, and
he usbered the New York Commissioner 70
a good seat.
~ guess he remembered that We sent
few fire engines down to this city some
wears AGO" commented Johnson, referring
to the great Baltimore fire.
CATO NOT COIONEL.-A Southerncr
has at last gone back on title cato sens
the picturesque Texan. whose familiar He
IRE Is always expected about a Democratic
convention, admits there are times when a
man likes TO hear the sound OF his nrst
name. Mr.. Sells had propped himself IAN
guidly against pillar IN the Belvedere
lobby when Judge Martin J. Wade, Of Iowa.
strolled through.
,, "Hello Cato, how are your" asked Judge
Wade.
I'm all in" frankly admitted Cato. but
you've helped me lot Martin.
"How's that" aueried the national com
Inittceman from Iowa.
"You've done me good by calling me
Cato" said the tall Texan. Down home
the folks always call me colonel and !
sorter get lonesome 20 hear somebody say
Cato once IN q while. These tides worry
a fellow sometimes.
And Cato Sells looked real pert follow
ing his remuneration OF the southerners
birthrght.
PROPHETS OUT or BUS1NEss.-The
convention at Baltimore witnesses the pass
ing OF the political upster. All the wise
ones threw up their hands soon after reach
ing this scene OF Democratic discord. and
the average prognosticator Is ns reliable
as the racecourse tout who backs An also
ran. Before the gavel fell IN the convention
last Tuesday "Gumshoe Bilr' Stone, Of
Missouri. was hailed a. It campaign mana
ger par excellence and as a political seer
without equal. SO far the Missouri Senator
has been right In one respect-Cbamp Clark
was really an asprant for the nomination.
The claims and promises OF all other mana
gers. press agents, political forecasters and
inside" information men have gone awrr.
Bosses Murphy, Taggart, Sullivan and 9TH
ers apparently have had as little insight
into the situation as the backwoods dele
gate. NOBODY has known what would hap
pen, and only the foolish ones have in
dulged in prophecy.
BALTIMORES THIN DIET Phila-
d4lphia newspaper correspondent stood
outside convention hall busily engaged In
putting figures down on the back Of an
envelope.
"'Lo. what are YOU DOING asked an
acquaintance.
just figuring an expense account said
the correspondent Il find the principal
items on ny bill Will be as follows.
"Ice water and sandwiches, 500. drink
ing cups. 60 80. and lemonade. sJo.
Ice water sells for nve cents glass At
the convention hall Maryland has a law
against public drinking cups. and The par
ANNE penny in he slot cups are sold by
The thousands The sandwich vendors
charge from 10 10 ia cents for tRo slim
slices OF bread and piece Of ham that IL
thinner than o womsn's Veil.