The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1912-05-18
BY ESTHER GRIFFIN WHITE.
I'm going out and commit ha

kiri," said the cynic.
! whats the matter?" asked Sal.
They're cleaning house out my
way" grinned the cynic.
81 know nothing more perfectly in
sane" continued the latter, than
cleaning house. Take everything out
of one room and put it into another,
the while you transfer the contents of
the pantry into the parlor and deposit
your best hat on the back steps"
Being sure not to forget" inter
rupted SAL ito ornament the front
| veranda with a choice collection of
| dog-eared household gods for the
neighbors to take joyful, if conceal
ed stock of, through peep-holes in
| their blinds"
when you are assailed by the pangs
of hunger you climb through a step
| ladder, hurdle over the flour-barrel,
do a back action steeple-chase by way
of the backstairs and land in the kitch-
en- to be informed that there is nothing
| to eat unless you care to forage for
yourself.
"Or are handed out last weeks
scraps on an ironing-board partially
supported by the baby's high-chair
with the neither end tobogganning
down to the sink"
"In the meantime" interpolated Sal,
Bridget accidentally spills a bucket
of water over your feet and in at
tempting to get out of the way you
| back into the kitchen cabinet and
knock half it's contents into the mid
die of the gas range whereon repose
| the left overs from the previous sea-
sons fruit canning"
And you flee for your life," said
the cynic. you do an acrobatic stunt
F! for your own upper chamber which
would bring you a thousand a week in
vaudeville, hurriedly don your best
clothes and sally forth a much abused
man recklessly in search of pleasure"
| YES" said Sal, land jauntily turn
ing the corner you encounter Liz, a
charming vision in her new crash suit
and done over hat. Liz greets you joy
fully!
Whittier away?' you ask affecting
extreme popularity.
"In search of eats responds the
blithe and irresponsible Liz.
"Then she inquiries the cause of
your gloom, ill-concealed by your af-
fectation of juvenile gayety.
you state you have been driven
forth into the cold world by the femi-
nine members of your family who
heartlessly cast you out to the raving
wolves and that you, in desperation
"'Seek consolation deploys the
lightsome Liz.
| "You look hastily around.
Don't talk SO loud you whisper,
we are so we'll known
Liz here deploys that if you're
ashamed to be seen out with her she's
perfectly willing to deprive you of the
benediction of her society and pre-
tends the beginning of a sortie across
the street where you disgustedly be
hold the Doctor viewing you with an
eager. expectant expression.
"Whereupon you implore Liz in
what Bill Nye called low tone to
take pity on your neglected condition
) and lunch with you at the Astoria
since you are positive the Doctor is
manouvering round to kidnap the de
lightful Liz and direct her footsteps
} toward some coy retreat with g
table for two on which burns a red
shaded lamp"
Rise to the surface and take Ions
breath" said the cynic.
you take a savage pleasure" con
!; tinued Sal, ''in out-flanking him, know
ing the doctor is possibly also seeking
consolation from the horrors of his
menage. So you are bowed elegant,
into the Astoria and find yourself seat
ed opposite Liz who, you observe, new
er looked better-how's it happen 20,
never noticed before what beautiful
sea-shell complexion she has and how
the hair curls kissably about her ear
l."
ooh, cut it, SAL" grinned the cynic
, although it is a fact
Sure" said Sal But she has i
done in the hair parlors-'
i. ''Villainous female! Leave me bu
one illusion-but ONE"
You can get it done for a whole
year now for twenty-five dollars-guar
anteed to last for twelve months b,
the calendar" announced Sal.
} You don't tell mel" exclaimed th1
cynic.
Il surely do" replied Sal "Yo,
make deposit of the twenty-five ant
then have your hair curled for lon.
distance run"