davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
carlYle,a Bluntnssa

Thomas Carlyle once took Lord
Houghton Orchard Mllnesi 20 task IN
regard 10 the proposed pension foi
Lord Tennyson. Richard Milnes. said
Carlyle, taking his pipe ont Of hi
mouth, 'when are yo gaun TO get thui
peuslon for Alfred TennysonT Milnr-
tried to explain that there were aim
cultIcs In the way aud TINT possibly hi,
constituents who knew nolhlng about
rennyson would accuse him ~ helup
concerned IN job were he 10 succerd
In getting the desired pension for Tho
poet "Ilichard Milnes," replied The
'age. Ion the day OF Judgment, when
The Lord asks ye why ye didnn get thul
pension for Alfred Tennyson. it'll no d.
10 lay the blame ON your constituents
It's you that'll be damned
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
nr.,,.d Aoeordinn 20 Law.

The groccr's assistant In London used
20 be as carefully looked after ns his
employer. precise regulations being
laid down respecting the way he should
dress His coat had 90 be made ''close
and comely" and as well as the brcech.
es was 60 consist only OF cloth. ker'
sey. sackcloth. canvasse. English leath'
er or English stuffe costing not moro
thnn ~. Cd. the yard" Ills stockings
were 20 he OF wooden yarns or kersey.
he was not 20 wear spanish shoes
with polonla heels" and his hair was
90 be- cut short lie was forbidden TO
wear any glrdle. point. garters or shoe
strings OF any kind OF silk or ribbon
or any rose or such like goods upon bis
shoes. breach OF these regulations
rendered him liable 90 eighteen hours
imprisonment In the Gnlldhall
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
A ola.. Neddle stlletto.

A. diabolical n specimen Of murder
Gus ingenuity as ever WIS discovered
by the police was found one dny IN the
possession OF a ChinHman who had
been working IN laundry IN New Or
leans and who was believed 20 have
intended using II upon his employer
II was a tiny stiletto, with n handle
about as thick as carpenters pencil
and n blade four inches long OF glass
pointed AS keenly as a needle, A tiny
groove had been fled around the blade
close TO the hilt Suppose Il was driy
en- into a mans body, II would be Ger
tain 10 bre'k on at the groove aud
leave three inches OF glass deep In his
flesh. What Is more. the puncture
would be so tiny that II would prob
ably close at once aud show no mark
not even a single drop OF blood
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
DIG THEIR OWN GRAVES.
English Army Methods In the ESeeu
ton Of Condemned Spies.

EnVilsn ARMY mtNNouN w NNo GhoCNa
ton OF Condemned Spies.
The ceremony OF dlsposing OF con
dcmncd spy IN the English army nj
ways follows definite precedent.
The unfortunate man II surrounded
by detachment OF Infantry. aud after
he II provided with pick aud shovel
he is marched Off TO selected spot
aud ordered TO dig his own grave
This done. the tools are taken from
him aud his eyes are bnndugcd The
attending chaplain reads portions Sc
lectcd from the burial service. and
from the ranks OF the escort twelve
men are selected nt random 10y the
officer In charge.
These men. having stacked their own
rifles. are led 10 whore twelve other
rifles ARE awaiting them. six Of which
are loaded with blank cartridges. one
Of these II handed TO each man. 80
that no one knows whether the rifle
he holds contains bullet or not. and
none can say for certain that the shot
nrcd 10y him killed the prisoner. The
arlng party then marches 10 mn mp
pointed position The commands "prc
scnt!" "Fircr' are given. and almost
before the last word rings out the
vollcy II fred and the spy falls into
the grave he has dug,
Nearly every man II more or less nf'
fected on being selected 20 form )nc
OF the nrlng party. aud many men
have been known 10 faint away on be
Ing singled out while others ARE 80
overcome NJ 20 be- scarcely able Ia
pull the triggers OF their rifles
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
BURIED LIVING PERSONS.
Horrible Custom OF Japanese Prior to
Year 646 A. D.

Year $50 a. D.
Prior 20 the year $40 A. u. the Japa.
nese had one OF the most horrible bur.
ial customs that eau be imagined-thnt
OF burylng all the immediate friends
and retalners OF prince or other per
son OF note IN standing position
around the potentnte's grave and leay
ing them In the earth up to their necks
TO perish OF thirst aud hunger.
The custom cannot be said 10 have
been general as late as the date given.
for the japanese records prove that In
the time OF the Emperor Suinln i01 30
q. c. the burial rites Of royal person
ages were so modified as 10 partially
abolish former cruelties. Speaking Of
a young brother OF Sulnin. who died
and had his retlnue buried standing
around his grave. the old record says:
"For many days they died not. hut
wept and cried aloud. Al last they
died. Dogs and crows assembled aud
ute on their hends. The empcror's
compassion was aroused. aud be de
sired to change the manner OF burial
When the empress died. soon after. the
mikado inquired OF his officers n some
thing In the wuy Of change could
not be suggested. and one proposed TO
make clay figures OF men and bury
them as substitutes"
That this did not entirely do AWAY
with tho former custom Is proved by
an edict issued 10 the year Oi0 A d.,
the date given iirst above. which for
bade the burial OF living persons and
provided a penalty for further adher
ence TO the awful rite.-st Louis Re
public.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09

Spokane. Portland & Seattle Railway.
LEAvING ST. JOHNS

Pallbrdgc Passenger for Lyle, Goldendale. ore
gon Trunk and local points 5a3 a ma
Inland Empire Express. to.l2 a. M Tor Chicago
81 Paul, Omaha. Kansas city, 81 Louis. Malla
Walla, Fascoi Roosevelt Grauddallcs, Golden
dale. White Salmon, Vancouver and oregon
Trunk connections.
Nouh Bank Limited 7zS p. M; for Chicago S.
Paul, Omaha Kansas Nity, ST. Louis spokane
sprague kilzyillc Lind Pasco. Roosevelt and
Vancouver
Columbia River Local ssS3 p. ma; for Vancouver
Camas. white salmon. Lyle Granddalles. Clin.
FailbTidge and all intermediate stations.
ARRIVING AT ST. JOHNS
Inland Empire E1press, Tao p. m.i from Chica.
70. 81 Paul, Omaha, Kansas city 81 Louis
Spokane, Spfaguc. Rnxyillc Lind, Pasco
Roosevelt .Granddales- White salmon and Van
COuFcr-
North Hank Limited 7.Ssa. m. from Chicago
81 Paul Omaha Kansas City, 81 Louis, Walla
Walla. PascD. Roosevelt and Vancouver.
Columbia River LOCal g.3l "a. M from Clins
Grauddalles. Goldrndalc. Lyle White salmon
Camas. Vancouver and an intermediate sta
tiuua.
Falhridge Passenger 500 p M. from Lyle, Gold
eudalc and local points.
All trains stop for passengers
Tickets ON sale Tor an points.
o. A. coruell, Agent
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
Vulcan

Vulcan, the god OF ancient black
smiths aud metal workers. was mm,
In consequence OF pretty hard NH
he had Ia his early days. Jupiter and
Juno had row, and Vulcan sided
with his mother against the old gen
lleman. who promptly kicked him oul
OF heaven. lie fell for whole day
and lighted on the island Of Lemnos
broke his leg aud received as severe
sinking up as though he had tum
bled down an elevator shaft Aescu
lapius set his leg. but, having only just
received a diploma, did poor job, and
for long time Vulcan went on a
crutch
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
Mouldn.t Liavs Ml..sd.

As a battalion was returning from
rifle practice at the ranges a shot was
discharged from the leading company,
apparently by accident, but the bullet
passed uneomfortably close TO the colo
mel. Look here" he roared TO the cap
tain OF the company. who fired that
shotf" "sir." replied the officer proud
ly. 1T can't be a man OF my company
for they are all frst class shots. Lon
don Globe.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
UNCONSCIOUS COUNTING.
Train the Mind TO Number Grouped
Objects at a Glance.

Train the Mind 20 Number Grouped
Objects at a Glance
II has always formed part OF the
professional conJurer's education to ac
qulre the power OF making instant
mental note Of many objects \ Ger.
man advocate OF the theory that every
one should cultivate some similar sys.
TEN of counting has suggested that the
ability Of most persons of distinguish
ing from three to FIVE objects at n
glance may be so perfected that the
mind will find It possible to take note
Of at least thirty articles in the same
length OF time. THIS authority, Preyer
hns declared that he can count thirty
objects OF the same kind as easily ns
other persons can count three or four
Apart from such usefulness as this
acquired power may impurt, the meth
cd Of teaching It is OF interest. The
test of ones ability in counting is easi
" made by placing several small oh
jccts. such as pins or coins, under
sheet OF paper and then lifting the pa.
per so that one may glance at the ar.
tlcles and give an immediate guess rs
TO their number.
At first the eye finds II possible to
distinguish only three or fCur objects,
but practice soon enables the expert.
menter TO manage any under ten with
facility. Above that number the proc.
ess becomes more difficult. Conscious
counting Is not permitted. The arti.
cles must be merely valued"
To perfect oneself I'm this practice
black spots. forming various geomctr.
cal figures. may be made upon squares
OF white cardboard. the number belns
gradually increased aud the positions
altered
Il Is said that the sensation OF 4
person prnctlccd in unconscious count.
ing when looking attcntivcly at large
numbers OF objects Is that their mum.
bcr Shoots rapidly through the head"
philadelphia Record.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
A PROBLEM IN PICTURES.
And the Peculiar Coincidence by
Which II Was Solved,

Some years ago a publishing house
was preparing to issue new edition
OF the writings OF Thorenu. writes
Charles 8. Olcott In Art aud Progress
The head OF the house aud n member
Of his staff were In consultation about
the method of illustration. II was
agreed that the pictures must be true
to nature. but how to get them was
the problem. Artists who do book u
lustratlng could not be expected to 20
into the woods and make pictures
which would In any way assist the
text to reveal nature as Thoreau saw
II. Photographs would be admirable
but where was the professional photog.
rapher to be found who would under
take to go into Thorenus country In
sunshine and rain, 10 summer and win
ter. to catch all the phases OF nature
which Thoreau recorded In his Jour
nal2"
While the two men pondered n caller
sat In the outer office with large port.
folio under his arm. Five years before
be had read Thoreau's journal" aud
had taken up his residence In Concord
that be might visit the scenes there
described. In all seasons and all kinds
OF weather be had wandered through
the woods and over the fields with
his camera. Passionately fond Of na.
ture. no was no less devoted to art.
To him photography was pastlme.
IL was not his profession. For the
pure love OF nature and Of art aud
with no thought OF pecuninry gain he
had accomplished the very feat which
the two business men had thought so
difficult. and by a curious coincidence
he appeared at the Office to exhibit
the result OF his work at the precise
moment when Its deslrabillty was be-
ing discussed.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
Writtsn In Slam,

Matthew Henry's commentary on the
Bible was written for the common peO-
pie aud In the slang OF the day la
commenting on Judges tx he says
I'VE are here told by what acts Abime
lech got into the saddle He hired for
his service all the scum and scoundrels
OF the country. lothian was really a
fne gentleman. The sechemltes were
the 6rst 10 kick him on. They said
all the III they could OF him In their ia
BILE talk. They drank health to bis con
fl,sion."
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
SAVAGES OF ECUADOR.
The Jibaros Gave One Spanish Gov.
srnor His Fill Of Gold.

srnor His Fill Of Gold.
N you nrc looking Tor real wild
Indian seek the Jlbnro. Perhaps you
never heard OF hlm. but you should.
Tor he's the widest. most savage and
uncullurcd type OF rcdskln who thrlves
today War and the Jiburo nrc synony
nous. No other Indian tribe In history
has 80 dctcrmlncdly and successfully
resisted efforts 60 conquer II us this
tribe OF the llbnro
Today the Jlburo. $1,000 strong, rule
supreme over the vast forest regions
OF Eucndor between the Santiago aud
putuso rivers and suuthWurd 20 the
Amazon. II II one OF the most plctur
csuue and primitive OF all surviving
tribes OF redskins once when partly
sublurntcd 60 Spanish rule they were
gondcd to rebellion 10y enforced labor
In the mines OF their tnskmustcrs nnd
marched 10000 strong into the strong
hold of their enemy and IN one night
completely annihllntcd the 10000 IN
hnbltnnts. A an example Of their
snyngery they killed the governor boy
NoNllHE Wloil'H F'lh h'NN NiH AHiH"A w
order that no "might have his till OF
gold"
Like tactics nre stlll pursued, ana
tho Jlbaro is little molcstcd War N
their normal condition, their fayorlte
weapons being the lance, the jnvclin
and the blow gun with poisoned NJ
rows. which have served them with
deadly efficiency.
Little ls known OF their religious or
mythuluglcnl beliefs There are about
400 Jlharus who are Christians. but
few of these nre of the full bloodcd
type aud ufe scornei by the majority
OF the tribe Missionaries sny the ~.
burns will never break from ancient
customs Catholic Encyclopedia
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09

A travelling theatrical company was
starting TO parade In a small New
England town when big gnnder from
a farmyard near at hand waddled To
the middle OF the street and began 10
hiss.
One OF the double in-brass actors
turned toward the fowl and angrily
exclaimed:
Don't be so quick 20 jump at con-
illusions. Wait I'LL you see the show "
-Iippincott's.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
Old Tim. Personally Quoted Tour

The campanlle looked down upon the
nrst agencies for conducted tours OF
which We have record. Five hundred
years ago Venice controlled the pilgrim
traffic 10 the Holy Land. aud quite a
humber OF hpms made good thing OF
H. They had their offices In ST. Marks
square. with all the apparatus Of nd
yertisement hoardings. tings and com
missionaries. The contract stipulated
how much space aboard ship aud
what food each pilgrim was to get,
aud the agents undertook not merely
TO carry the pilgrim across the sen. but
TO conduct him personally 10 Jerusalem
and TO take over all negotiations with
the officials. For the whole journey
the charge was 20 10 80 ducats. a third
TO be paid before starting. third In
Palestine and a third after returning
hoIne.-M Manchester Guardian.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
Lucky.

Wood Norton. the famous English
estate. has been the home of foreign
royalties for over hnlf u century Aft
or he lost the crown OF France Lonis
Philippe lived there. aud there Ia a fun
ny story told OF his meeting with M
old publican nfier his return. The mnu
stood 10y the roadside and bowed TO the
ex,king.
"who are you. my manr' he asked
II seem TO know your face. Were you
here when lived here beforey'
"Plense. your royal hlghness. I kept
the Crown
"Did you. indeed" exclaimed the ex-
king. "That's more than could dor
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
TUNIS DIVORCE COURT.
An Oriental Scene That smaeks of
"Ths Arabian Nights"

An Oriental Scene That Smaeks OF
"The Arabian Nights"
The next time you happen TO be In
Tunis don't fall TO pay visit to the
divorce court. II IL the most IIaroun.
al.Raschldic institution this side OF
samarkand. A great hail OF justice.
vaulted and fioored with marble and
strewn with eastern carpets. forms the
setting, while husbands In turbnns and
lawyers In tarbooshcs. white veiled
women and green robcd. gray bearded
judges complete n scene which might
have been taken stralght from The
Arabian Nights"
The women. closely yelled and hood
ed aud herded like no many cattle
within an iron grill. take no part In
the proceedings which so intimately
affect their futures. their interests be-
ing left In the hands OF voluble and
gesticulative ayocat In each OF the
four sides OF the great hall is an nj
cove, and In each alcove. seated cross
legged on a many cushioned dlynn. II
a green robed. gold turbaned cadL To
him the husband states his case. the
wife. through her avocat. putting In
her defense-if she has amy.
The judge considers the facts In ST.
ience. gravely stroking his long gray
beard the while. and then delivers his
decislon-ln nine cases out OF ten. 30
| was told. In favor OF the husband
Should either party be dissatisfied with
the finding he or she can take nm ap'
peal by the simple process OF walking
across the hall and laying their case
before one OF the other judges. whose
decision is tinal.
A case. even n appealed. Is general
iy disposed OF we'll under an hour aud
ut total cost OF si.20- Metropolitan
Magazine.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09

At place called AnghIn. about for
ty miles south OF Bangkok. China
man and his wife cultivated n small
sugar cane plantation The mnn had
been greatly annoyed by having his
cane eaten by his neighbors buffalo
calves Coming home one evening Just
at Gark. he saw what he thought was
one OF the marauders nc work on the
cane. Stealing silently up behind H.
he struck Il mighty blow with a
heavy club. The animal dropped with
out sound. The Chinaman told his
wife what he had done aud added
THAT calf will steal no more OF my
cane" In the morning he found that
the "calf' was a full grown tiger lie
had killed II by breaking its neck. Just
as the woman or Nam had done, And
John was 30 much impressed with his
own narrow escape that he took TO his
bed aud was sick for a week. - Youths
Companion.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
The OPEN MOUTH.
Causes That Induce II When We Are
lntently LISTENING.

iVNoUhil GlsNoVlN9s
Why do we open our mouths when
intently llstenlng1
There are three causes, entirely in.
dependent of one another, but acting
I'm unison, for this action. There is u
passageway called the eustachlan tube,
connecting the back of the throat and
the middle eur, the part behind the
drum. When lntcntly listening we
hold our breath, and this permits
sound waves to enter the mouth and
reach the eustachlan tube, aud In this
way they reach the drum and re-eu.
force the sound waves that come
through the natural channel. the outer
ear.
In concentrated attention the mind IL
fully engrossed in the one subject. and
Il loses control over voluntary muscles
that are not directly affected by the
subject or the process involved In the
motor activity that accompanies men
tai activity. The muscles are relaxed
the lower jaw drops. and this opens
the mouth
The third cause Is referable to alta.
vism. or the tendency to return In form
or action TO an early type. Early man,
like the animals, was urged TO action
by the fundamental instincts, self
preservation and race preservation.
His two aims were to secure food and
avoid or destroy enemies. Like the
animals. when his attention was ut
tracted by sound he placed himself
In the attitude for instant defense, at.
tack or securing food. In this attitude
his mouth was open to grasp instantly
what came IN his way The tendency
TO open the mouth when lntcntly lis.
tenlug still remains. New York Amer
Icou
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
-An Old PeIies Trick

Defending a man charged at West
Ham with drunkenness. a solicitor
said: "lt's a very old trick for two
policemen when taking a man to the
station to walk out OF step The re-
suit is that the prisoner lurches from
one side TO the other. and he is sup
posed to be unable 20 walk without as
sistance."-I.ondon Standard
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09

on Unimak island. Alaska. Is shi
shaldIn. which In some respects is the
most remarkable volcano 10 the world.
In addition TO a continuous emission OF
dense white smoke or steam. circular
rings apparently several hundred feel
In diameter and OF wonderful sym
metry and whiteness emerge In pufrs
at short intervals from the very top OF
the mountain. IL causes one to think
OF the possibility OF old Pluto OF Pan
dalon smoking a cigarette.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09

Brother Lobstock- How did yo' all
got yo' nose bustedi Brother lump
/ done slipped down an plumb lii on
my back. Brother LObstOck - But,
name o. goodness. sab. yO' nose isn't
located on so back! Brother lump
No, sab, an needer was Brudder
Wack.-Puck.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
A nlHsrsnt Mission.

"WeIl, old man. how's tricksr
"Miss Wallaby accepted me last
night"
II suppose you are around today &C
cepting congratulations"
"No; Pm around today trying to Dor
row $500 to buy the ring."-Louisyill
COurier-J Journal
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
Rahnad Rootlna.

The English root very politely.
When a erIeketer lands a ny the
blescherites yell: "oh. jolly well
caught Oh. very well caught in
deedg Sometimes when a player
plays unusually we'll they write him
note the next day.-Louisyille Courier
Journal
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
nldn., Ike the Reference.

Tramp-You know the sayin'. num-
-He that giveth TO the poor lendeth 10
the Lord" Airs. subbubs- Very true,
And since you speak In proverbs III
refer you TO another old saw. Tramp
Which one Is dat. mumf Mrs s.
The one back In the woodshed.-Boston
Transcript
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
His Quarter.

Il approach you In n worthy cause.
Mr. Titewad. We want to raise $780,.
600 A prominent phllanthroplst ofrera
to contribute quarter OF H."
''oh. WELL" said Mr.. Titewad hastily
Il don't mind giving another quarter.
Can you change a halfi"-H -Housekeeper
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
aalovad Of the Gods.

Miss Mary Anderson mime, Nayar
ro) 10 the play OF "Pygmulion and Gal
atea" once turned with Outstretched
arms toward the audience She was
supposed TO be appeeling 70 heaven
The gods will help me!" she cried
At once with one accord the gods" Of
the gallery roared response, I'VE wilir
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
A Bait and q BILL

sergeant-Now, then. Murphy, what's
the troublei Murphy-I'm looking for
me belt, sar'nt Sergeant Well. man
you'ye got II onl Murphy-Thankee
sar'nt II you hadn't told me I would
have gone out without it!-London An
sWers
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
Easiest Way Out.

Something ought TO be done TO ease
the prejudice against Wall street" said
the apprehensive citizen.
WELL" replied Mr.. Dustin stax. 'it
Is too much TO ask US TO move business
into another thoroughfare, Hut we
might change the name OF the street"
Washington Star
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09

-pid your husband have luck on his
shooting trtpf"
The very worst. He accidentally
shot the friend who was going TO take
Us on an automobile tour and missed
the man TO whom he owed a lot OF
money! Ra ltimore American
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
A Bold. Bad Man.

The phrase "A bold. bad man." now
worn thFeadbare aud comic, belongs to
spenser. who applied 1t to the Archi-
mago OF The Faerie Queene" d. I, 81;
A bold. bad man that dared 70 call BY
name
Great oorgon. prince OF darkness and
dead night
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09

"Why did you spend so much money
on your wlfe's funeralf' asked man
OF a neighbor.
"Ah. sir" was the reply, "she would
have done as much for me aud more,
too, with pleasure"
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1912-08-09
A riaht Fit.

How do you like the rooms In your
new fatY" asked Bill Brown
pretty fair" answered Jim Jones
.what do you mean by pretty fairr
.weIl. they're a little tight across
the shoulders. bnt otherwise seem to be
a good ft."-Cleveland Plain Dealer