davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1912-08-01
Fighting INSURANCE RATES.

TAMPA. FLA, Aug. 1.-The Tampa
Retail Dealers association has decided
to organize an insurance company with
a capital stock of 100000. This is a
step in the proposed fight against the
high rates prevailing in this city.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
Aa 10 Ahaalom skIuas.

Absalom Skiggs has taken his pen
in hand to drop US line to say that
we did wrong in rhyming Solemn"
Column" and volume" few days
ago. Absalom points out what we
knew anyhow, that volume" and sol
emn" won't stand hitched.
Well, Absalom, we didn't rhyme
those three words. We knew the mo-
ment that they were penned that they
did not rhyme and that they never
will rhyme, not even by the aid OF a
revision of the constitution or an en-
abling act of congress. We had no
intention or desire to rhyme them.
II we could. we would make "once'
rhyme with MONTH" but we know
we can't and therefore we turn our
attention to something else.
The world is fortunately not crowd
ed with Ablason Skiggses. Once In
while you run across one OF this
family, but luckily they are few and
far between. What is an Absalom
Skiggs? Gentle reader, an Absalom
Skiggs is critic who can't criticise
He is the gimlet-eyed. shoe-button
nosed, ngrowing-chinned, grass-hair
ed person who watches everything you
do. He never misses a stroke of your
hammer or a sweep of your brush oil
quaver OF your voice or a step Of
your feet or turn Of your head
And he never says word SO long as
you do fairly we'll. But the moment
he thinks you have made mistake
he jumps up with an "Ahai You've
made a mistake!" That is all he
looks for-mistakes. Why, any meas
ly individual can sit down and com
pile an Encyclopedia Britannica OF
mistakes any day in the week Alb
SALON. Skiggs, however. picks out tn,
ones that don't matter.
Still, II is well that we have the
Absalom Skiggses; they make tn,
rest Of US loom up by contrast.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
PlMPLES COVERED HIS BACK

my. troubles began along in the
summer in the hottest weather and
took the form of small eruptions and
itching and kind OF smarting pain.
It took me mostly all over my back
and kept getting worse until finally
my back was covered with a mass OF
pimples which would burn and itch at
night 80 that could hardly stand 1t.
This condition kept getting worse and
worse until my back was solid mass
of big sores which would break open
and run. My underclothing would be
clot Of blood.
Il tried various remedies and salves
for nearly three years and was not
getting any benefit. It seemed / was
in eternal misery and could not sleep
on my back or lean on a chair. was
Remedies and inside OF two weeks l
could see and feel a great relief. I
kept on using Cuticura Soap, Ointment
and also the Resolvent. and in about
three or four months time my back
was nearly cured and felt like new
being. Now am In good health and
no sign of any skin diseases and I
am fully satisfied that Cuticura Rene
dies are the best ever made for skin
diseases. l would not be without
them" (Signed) w. A. Armstrong,
Corbin, Kan. May rs, 1911. Although
Cuticura Soap and Ointment are sold
by druggists and dealers everywhere,
sample of each. with 32-page book,
will be mailed free on application to
"Cuticura," Dept. L, Boston.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
OF THE AGE OF .CHIvALRY
Fat Victim of Cupid Bashfully Ac-
knowledges Real Reason for His
Act Of Herolsm..

The smallest boy had broken
through the ice and the fat boy was
crawling to his rescue.
Come back. Fatty!" the other boys
shrieked. You'll bust 1t all in, an
den youse'll both be drowned"
But the fat boy, fiat on his stom-
ach and spread out to his widest ex-
tent, ignored these warning cries and
steadily crept toward the black hole
and Tommy's clinging fingers.
Once the ice made a cracking sound
and the watchers yelled with dismay.
But the fat boy did not halt. Nearer
and nearer he came. and finally his
out-stretched hands caught those cling
ing fingers and drew the small boy, lit.
tie by little, onto the firmer ice and
SO to safety.
What did youse do it fer, Fatty?'
one of the boys tearfully remonstrat
ed.
"Aw.' replied the hero, 81 knew
what l lost in weight l made up In
Wilderness, seer"
Then his face softened.
Besides" he bashfully said. I'm
sweet on Tommy's sister,"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

Um-m-m-weli. o. course they's two sides
to 1t,
Or nine or ten, ponds how We view 1t.
They's Teddy sayin' he won't say
Jes' how he's feelin' either way,
An this here Teller Lafollette
A-showin jes whose carts upset,
An Taft a-trusttn' to his friends
An folks a-showin' what depends
On who's enominated. Well.
TIL sayin' is that time will tell.
But where does us folks come In.
thought
We got to vote. Um-m-m-well. jes' 80
Um-m--if my understandings proper.
Somebody's boun' to come a topper.
TIL Dimmycrats IL mixed like US,
With Woodrow Wilson in tn fuss.
An Harmon list'nin' to his boom.
An Clark demandin' elbow room
An Bryan diagnosin' each
With all his power o. pen an speech.
They're all on fire, We understand,
With hope fer this our native land.
No matter which way she may go
Well get to vote. Um-m-m-wel. 1es' no.
Um-m-m-they all want to git together,
But that would mean some stormy wealth.
er.
A good OIL sayin' in times past
| wuz one that went wait till ye're asst"
An what you will or will not do
| Depen's on IL folks want you to.
| They's some that don't know fame from
fuss
An cuss much more than they discuss.
| But, as the Teller SEE, why, I'm
Jes settin' one side markln' time.
| So let's all set an watch the show
Wen get to vote. Um-m-m-well. jes' so.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
THE CARELESS GROCER
Blundered, and Great Good Came of IL

A careless grocer left the wrong
package at Michigan home one day
and thereby brought great blessing
to the household.
Two years ago was sufferer from
stomach troubles, SO acute that the
effort to digest ordinary food gave me
great pain, and brought on condition
Of such extreme nervousness that
could not be left alone. | thought
should certainly become insane. l was
30 reduced in flesh that was little bet
ter than living skeleton. The doc
tors failed to give me relief and l de-
SPARED of recovery.
"One day our groceryman left
package of Grape-Nuts food by mis-
take, so tried some for dinner. / was
surprised to find that 1t satisfied my
appetite and gave me no distress what
ever. The next meal ate of 1t again,
and to be brief. have lived for the
past year almost exclusively on Grape
Nuts. 1t has proved to be a most
healthful and appetizing food. per-
fectly adapted to the requirements Of
my system.
"Grape-Nuts is not only easily d.
gested and assimilated, but l find that
since I have been using it / am able
to eat anything else my appetite fam
cies, without trouble from indiges-
ton. The stomach trouble and ner-
vousness have left me. l have regain
ed my plumpness and my views OF
life are no longer Respondent and
gloomy.
"Other members of my family, espe-
cially my husband, twhose old enemy.
the heartburn, has been vanquished)
have also derived great benefit from
the use of Grape-Nuts food and we
think no morning meal complete with
out It." Name given by Postum Co..
Battle Creek, Mich.
There's a reason" and 1t Is ex-
planned in the little book, THE Road
to Wellville." In pkgs.
Ever read the above IetterR A new
| one appears from time to time. They
| are genuine, true, and full of human
Interest.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
Reward of Merit.

Go on, sab! Go on and blow yo'
hawn bout who yo' is and what yo'
done!" impatiently said old Brother
Bogus. But femme specify dat Use de
on'y extingufshed citizen o. dis town
dat de president O. de railroad-dis
yuh road, right yuh!-paid any ten
ton to when he went th'oo in his spe-
cial kyah last week. YassaE, wuz
yuh when de train passed-right on
dis spoti-and dat ar polly white
man gimme fine see-gyah; flung it
to me out'n de window o. de kyah.
and / wuz lit. tooi'-Puek.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
Hobby of Wealthy Enollshman,

The earl of ount-Edgcumbe, who
will be entertaining many parties at
Mount-Edgcumbe during the next few
months. would have been able to make
living as an architect If he had been
born in less exalted sphere. He de-
votes some of his spare moments
evolving fascinating toy palaces. each
study of its kind, perfect in every
detail. One he had lighted with cleo
tricity. These Aladdin palaces are
sometimes passed on to lucky chill
dren of his acquaintance.-Lond
Sketch.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
Wisdom.
Religion
And Health
Are -
Adjusted
BY FRANK CRANE

goes These things bait
Mark the splendid physique his emphatic spirits and radatng
health him where he these He doesn't know They
Now he had quit playing and pursuit of health he would have
missed it.
Only scky folks everlastng seeking health Beans and side
ogeuness blood and bones than pdsed food
and special diets and
Dr. Holmes spoke how ideas to if bullet had struck
of the nowhere The highest form Intellectual product
kind that sacs of the sort of writing and painting music
emegs similarly of the infinite and finds the
alatu of it is worth ton of study
character likewise the nob who not try
nob and the they who struggle against
purity
The finest moral texture by those souls who like the lilies
of field "fol not, neither do they spin"
They which better than effort they adjusted
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

try Peruna, and after using four bottles
can say l was entirely cured"
Unable to Work.
Mr.. Gustav Himmelreich, Hochheim,
Texas, writes:
"For a number of years suffered when
ever took cold, with severe attacks of
asthma, which usually yielded to the COM
mon home remedies.
last year, however, suffered for eight
months without interruption so that 1
could not do any work at all. The va
rious medicines that were prescribed
brought me no relief.
After taking six bottles of Peruna,
two of Lacupia and two of Manalin,
am free Of my trouble so that can do
all my farm work again. can heart
lily recommend this medicine to any
one who suffers with this annoying
complaint and believe that they will
obtain good results"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
DIDN'T THINK SHE WAS TIRED
Mr.. links Mean lnsinuatlon When
Young Lady DIspossessed Him
Of HIs Seat.

THAT was adding insult to injury"
said Representative Mann, the minor
ity leader Of the house, apropos Of a
political squabble. "It reminds me of
young Jinks.
Late one night young Jinks sat in
a crowded trolley car, and, when a
girl he knew got aboard and stood d.
rectly In front of him, he made no
sign. His face hidden by his newspa-
per, he pretended that he didn't know
the girl would like to have his seat"
After awhile she spoke.
Good evening, Mr.. Jinks.
Why, good evening. a.~
I've been to the Primrose social
dance
Indeed
Then, after pause. she added:
Its wonder. Mr.. links, you
wouldn't offer me your seat!'
links then got up. He was very
angry. He said, as he hooked himself
to strap:
81 thought you wouldn't want IT.;
for, as you said you'd been to dance,
knew you must have been sitting all
the evening"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
A Pace From Macheth.

Talk about numbering sleep!"
Macbeth had been wooing the
drowsy god for FIVE hours.
Talk about numbering sleep! A
guilty conscience is a hoIIar's worth
of morphine compared to those cats.
And he threw coat OF mail and n
pair of sheet-steel boots at the feline
congress across the moat.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
A Fatal Error.
Pooh

The critical theatrical manager
blurted out the expression of disap-
prevail. and the footlights fiickered
"Pooh You call yourself a vaude-
vile singer, and yet you do not pro-
nounce saw as If II we're spelled
'sor.'"
Realizing his utter humiliation, the
ambitions aspirant babe farewell 20
his hopes, and left the theater, dimly
wondering whether there would be an
opening for him as school teacher.
But he had his doubts about thar,
as he was not quite sure as to the pre-
nunciation of Idea"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

Il asked Nielsen what in the world
that extra J. was doing at the end OF
the word. especially as, even in Swed
ish, it is not pronounced.
"'oh, 1t is Just there, | suppose,
said Nielsen.
But now that you don't pronounce
the letter why don't you people drop
1t altogether? 1t looks so silly to have
a letter there you don't pronounce
Well said Nielsen, I suppose We
keep 1t there for the same reason
you hang on to the .p" in pneu
monia New York Herald
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

The best wisdom and the best religion
come, like the best health, by the way.
In the highest realms of endeavor the
adage that .'you get what you go after"
is not true. Your greatest reward is some
thing you did not go after at all; it falls
in with you as you sleep; in other words,
the supremest things in mind and charac-
ter just come, and you cannot get them.
When boys play football what they
want is to win, to get the pigskin into the
other fellows goal. But winning means
nothing to wise old nature, and the uni
verse does not care where the pigskin
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

While we have cause to be elated over
the fact that through "kicking" we have
gained the individual drinking cup and
towel and have forced the barber to use
a separate towel for each man, yet most Of
us have never given a thought to the in
struments dentist uses.
Does anyone really know whether every
dentist sterilizes these instruments before
using them upon another patient?
We may get germ" from the trans
fer slip on coin held in the mouth or from
dust, but think how many germs could BIZ
on that tiny mirror dentist thrusts into
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

I have noticed that horses when they
are compelled TO remain in the open cold
turn their heads to the wind, and it seems
to me that they stand in this way because
they thus present the least heat surface of
their body to the cold.
And also in this attitude they secure the
greatest possible natural protection from
their hairy coats, inasmuch as the wind
forces the individual hairs more closely
against the body.
If this looks reasonable to teamsters,
they should turn their horses heads to the
cold wind every time possible.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
He OUGHT TO GET II.

ION what grounds do you seek d.
vorce from your wife," asked the law
yer.
Simply because of pun" replied
the long suffering husband. you see.
she's sculptress, and 1t gets on my
nerves to hear her remark twenty
times day, Will you love me when
mold?'"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

A Massachusetts minister has issued
a new set oc commandments for wives.
The women as yet are silent on the
matter. which gives rise to uneasy sus-
picions that they are retaliating by for.
mulating another set for husbands.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
When Your Eyes Need Care

Try Murine Eye Remedy No smartipp-Feels
Eine-Aets Quickly. Try 1t for Red, Weak.
Watery Eyes and Granulated Eyelids. Illus.
compounded by our oculists-not a Patent Med
iclne. but used In successful Physcians' Prnc-
tee for many years. Now dedicated 70 the Pub
iic and sold BY Druggists at &c ana 60c per Bottle
Murine hye salve In Aseptic Tubes, 25c and 500.
murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

A millionaire Is going to build his
hens $1,000 chicken coop: but It is
to be feared that even in such an en-
vironment they can't be persuaded to
lay golden eggs In fact. he will be
luckier than average mortals II they
lay at all
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

1t is said that a rule has been estab
lished in an eastern school requiring
all students to write names and nu-
merals legibly. II this rule could be
successfully adopted. hard and fast.
In every school In the land. editors
would have a snap where they now
laboriously attempt TO decipher
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

A man in New Jersey has refused
to accept the office of coroner be-
Ing on a corpse. Most Office seekers
are jubilant. not depressed. over the
prospect of landing such dead sure
thing
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

The head of the tip" trust in Chi
cago has decided that the young WON.
en- who preside at the checking-rooms
In hotels and other places where be
has bought the Tip" privileges must
wear pocketless dresses SO that they
will have no chance to hide the change
which Is handed to them. Why doesn't
he compel them to have their hands
amputated?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

After they had gained entrance to
vault containing 100000. Cleveland
bank robbers became frightened and
ran away, leaving the money behind.
Things that are too good to be true
continue to happen.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

There is nothing SO very strange In
the fact that Massachusetts minister
has left the pulpit to go into the coal
business. He is preaching the doc
trine that It is better to have a fire
here than hereafter.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

Yale professor tells US that the hook
worm Is one OF the causes of the high
cost OF living. We always thought
that the hookworm was caused by the
practice OF throwing the hooks into
the ultimate consumer.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

A Pittsburgh baby nine weeks old.
was operated on for appendicitis The
youngsters Of this enterprising age
are certainly the most precocious on
record
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

The idea of having the Manchu
princes decide their own fate 10 de-
cidedly Oriental. especially in view
Of the fact that any fate which they
may select ia going to be decidedly
hard to take.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

A man who had II sticks of dyna-
mite in suit case has been arrested
In Pittsburgh. We have been assured
that he was not on his. way to the
peace meeting.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

Arizona is finding that statehood is
not without it's attendant horrors. as
a Phoenix young woman has designed
q burnt-leather Statehood sofa cush-
ion"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

A New York woman has married q
man whom she rescued from the
slums. What chance is he ever going
to have to assert himself around the
house?
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

The brother of the former shah, who
demands $4,000 of the Persian treas
ury. is named Salari Are there no
'y's" in Persian.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

With temperature of 25 degrees
below zero the Black Hills may az
well give up any claims they have
been trying to put forth In their favor
as a winter resort.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
RIaht in.her Line.

Gillet-The people in the fiat above
US are constantly fighting.
Perry-Doesn't your wife object?
Gillet-No. She likes to have fuss
made over her.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

The ultimate consumer has one ad-
vantage He never gets arrested for
trying to smuggle a 100000 pearl
necklace into the country.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

A wife with gun came to the res
cue Of her husband freed by a bear
And II was the bear that was shot.
too. and not the husband.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

Baseball is now to take its place
among the polite arts. since II has
acquired the graceful possession OF q
lady magnate
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

A Pennsylvania physician claims to
have educated two African chimpan-
gees to reason. After this there ought
to be hope for some humans.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
Doctors Said
Health Gone
Suffered with Throat Trouble

Mr.. B. w.
ID. b a r mes,
ex Sheriff
of Warren
G o u n t y,
t e nnessee,
in a letter
{ r o m Nc
NJ i nnville,
I e nnessee,
writes:
~ h a d
( h r o a (
tr o u b ! .
a n d h a d
t h r ee doc
tors treating
m e. A l l
failed to do
m e q N y
q o o d, and
o r onounced
my health
gone. I con-
4 . AL -
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

A fat mans club was raided recently
in a Virginia town. Naturally. the
raiding party expected a stout resist
ance.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

1t is said that Kipling received 81
q word for his poem. THE Female Of
the Species" II he has had to read
the parodies of 1t, the price il too
small
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

Woman has led the world since 1t
began. She took the leading part in
the first drama, Man and the Ser.
pent Paul Blouet.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

Scientists declare that the world ia
over 100000 years old 1t will prob
ably be 100000 years older before any
one man gets enough money to buy It.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

Paris restaurants are serving roast
camel as a delicacy. but there is no
recipe for cooking a camel in q pa.
per bag.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
Plan
for Saving
Lives
of Deer .
Hunters
By e. w. WOODS

regarding the proper handling of gun careful practice shooting
encouraged the mortality would be greatly diminished
hunting license should be issued only responsible who
have had experience in handling guns.
lives valuable to risk the hands of
lot of so-caed hunters who know nothing of firearms.
The gentleman who suggested red jackets will doubtless with
that restriction the license and bright clothes will prove IT,
sortion of the hunting problem.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets cur. con.
stipation. Constipation is the cause Of
many diseases. Cure the cause and Won
cure the disease. Easy to take. -
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

~ love to hear you play. he said,
My reasons? Well. the chief
One is that when you play for me
Your pieces all are BRIEF
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23
A Possibility

He's gone to that meeting, full Of
fire."
Then he had better be careful or
they will put him out"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

pected to erect a monument to the
man who invented the free lunch.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

Booth-What is the difference be-
tween charity and philanthropy?
Rube-Charity doesn't hire a press
agent.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

What we think upon, what we love.
we become. AS we think great or
noble thoughts we become great or
noble.-Bradley,
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1912-02-23

of usefulness and kindness. Hence it follows that
true happiness experienced only in unselsh service
for others.
Of this character should be the daily work or
calling of every According such is the case
with anyone his life is successful not only as regards
his own welfare and his influence upon his fellow men
here EARTH but also being the appointed gateway
into life everlasting.