Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1912-03-28
CHAPTER v.
Turning on the Hose.

Turning on the Hose.
Look Amt that a snake %
shrieked Billy, pointing to what
looked to him ike big snake coiled
in the yard.
Snake, nothing" sneered his com
paniOn, that's a hose. You all time
got to call hose a snake. Come on,
let's sprinkle" and Jimmy sprang out
Of the swing, jerked up the hose and
dragged it to the hydrant My nam
ma don't never low me to sprinkle
with her hose, but Miss Minerva she's
so good / don reckon she'll care" he
cried mendaciously.
Billy followed, watched his compan-
ion screw the hose to the faucet and
turn the water on. There was a hiss
ing, gurgIing sound and a stream of
water shot out, much to the rapture of
the astonished Billy.
Won't Aunt Minerva care?" he
asked, anXiously. ''Is she a real 'Iigious
'0man?"
She is the Christianest woman
they is" announced the other child.
Come on, Wen sprinkle the street
and don't want nobody to get in our
way neither"
1 wish Wilkes Booth Lincoln could
see US" said Miss Minerals nephew.
big, fat negress, with a bundle
Of clothes tied in a red table cloth
on her head, came waddling down the
sidewalk.
Billy looked at Jimmy and giggled;
Jimmy looked at Billy and giggled;
then, the latter took careful aim and
a stream of water hit the old woman
squarely in the face
Who dat? What's yo' doin'?" she
yelled, as she backed off. rs a-gwine
to tell yo' pappy, Jimmy Garner" as
she recognized one of the culprits
pint dat ar hose way f'om me, 'fo'
make yo' ma spank yuh slabsided. l
got to git home an wash Drap it, l
tell yuh!"
Two little girls rolling two doll
buggies in which reposed two enor-
nous rag-babies were seen approach
ing.
That's Lima Hamilton and Frances
Black" said Jimmy, they're my
chums"
Billy took a good look at them
'They's goin' to be my chums, too,
he said, calmly.
Your chums, nothing!" angrfly
cried Jimmy, swelling up pompously
You all time trying to claim my
chums. | can't have nothing a tall
'thout you got to stick your mouth in
You bout the selfishest boy they is.
You want everything | got, all time"
The little girls were now quite near
and Jimmy hailed them gleefully. for
getful of his anger:
Come on, Lima, you and Frances, .
he shrieked, and we can have the
mostest fun. Billy here's done come
to live with Miss Minerva and she's
done gone uptown and don't care if
we sprinkle. cause she's got so much
'ligion."
But you know none of us are al
lowed to use a hose" objected Lima.
But it's so much fun" said Jimmy
land Miss Minerva she's SO Christian
she amt going to raise much of a
rough house, and if she do we can
run when we see her coming."
4 can't run" said Billy; Il amt
got nowhere to run to an
If that amt just like you, Billy"
interrupted Jimmy, all time talking
bout you amt got nowhere to run to;
you don't want nobody to have no fun.
You bout the picayunest boy they is"
Little Ikey ROsenstein, better known
as "Goose-Grease," dressed in a cast
off suit of his big brothers, with his
fathers hat set rakishty back on his
head and over his ears, was coming
proudly down the street some distance
off.
'Yonder comes Goose Grease Rosen-
stein" said Jimmy gleefully. When
he gets right close les make him
hop"
All right" agreed Billy, his good
numor restored, les baptize him
good."
oh, we can't baptize him" ex-
claimed the other little boy, cause
he's a Jew and the Bible says not to
baptize Jews. You got to mesmerize
'em. How come me to know so
much?" he continued condescendingly.
Miss Cecilia teached me in the Sun
day school. Sometimes know so
much | feel like I'm going to bust
She teached me bout 'Scuffe little
chillens and forbid them not, and bout
'Ananias telled Sapphire he done it
with his little Ratchet, and bout
Lijah jumped over the moon in a
automobile l know everything what's
in the Bible. Miss Cecilia sure is a
cracker-jack; she's bout the stylish
est Sunday school teacher they is
Twas the COW jumped over the
moon said Frances, and it isn't in
the Bible; its in Mother Goose. q"
And Elijah went to heaven in a
chariot of fire corrected Lima.
And | know all bout Gabriel" con-
tinued Jimmy, unabashed When
folks called him to blow his trumpet