The Birmingham age-herald., 1912-12-29

The Loafers about the entrance of the Temple of Justice had listened breathless- ly to the dickering over horse trade be- tween the Deputy Sheriff and a long, gaunt, red neclIed Hillbily, and after all the details of the swap had been agreed upon with much profanity and slNillful ly- ing, the members slowly returned to their accustomed seats.
 Trading with one of these here Hill bilies has it's settlements, but it is some risky" observed the Old Confederate; any fellow in the hills will swap you property, lands, tenements, hereditaments or anything in Gods world that he's got for something that he wants of yours. Knew one of 'em to swap a single bar relied shotgun for a roan hoss, the gun would not shoot and the hoss had the slarders, so both of 'em went to Law, and enjoyed a lawsuit for four years.
 These red necks of the Mountains are descended from the Clans of Scotland, and everybody knows now canny and close a Scot can be. Why. the average Sandy would skin flea for it's hide and talloW. A Scotch Methodist Circuit rider once hit these hills. and he give it out that he wanted to trade his hoss so as to get a better nag. We'll them Sagas of the slopes, who had swapped hosses from the cradle up, not only as a amusement, but as a steady avocation, nudged each other in the ribs, chuclled and privately boast ed of how they were going to do up the Parson in a hoss trade. In six months time the Reverend owned every good hoss in the hills. and them Rubes was walking and leading the worst aggre- gation of bones. hoss hair and veterinary diseases that ever accumulated in this section; and right on top of this calamity the Parson inaugerated the derndest Re- pf11lpH off in 10 irG and you bet he had Mourners plenty on hand. Take it from me. Bud, you are inviting Financial Disaster when you swap hosses with a Methodist Circuit Riderl
 You might as well try to polish q brick bat as to change the habits or traditions of these interchangeable hill people At the battle of Franklin, Rube | Pcndley, from way doyn in the Ka- hatchie Hills, was captured and incar- cerated in Yankee Prison. Some chari- table Female Society up North took a fancy to Rube. and they sent him in drayoads of all sorts of hghtoned grub, Caviare crabs, oysters, fish, rare deli cacies from land and sea-each woman trying to outstrip the other in loading . 1p the stomach of their pet. Rube got ythinner and thinner, and one day one of tine women caught Rube crying and blub- DerlnS like a Ddby m HIS punk. A1ler much persuasion Rube blirted out the cause of his tears He said he was stary- inS to death. that he wanted some victu- als. that he wanted a whole tub full of fried eollards and eornbread and chit lingsi
 "Another thing, You can't overreach in a trade one of these Mossbacks. Hon. estly, l believe that if you was to ship wreck one of these fellows along with a Connecticut Yankee bald rock in the Pacific Ocean, the Hillrilly, in less than 30 days. would he renting the rock to the Yankee at S10 a week.
 For years Jim Harter has been doing little trading at my store. He never bought anything there until he had walked all over town to see if he couldn't get it | little cheaper elsewhere and after he famc back he would haggle and depreci- Rte the article until I would get sick at ny stomach and let him have it at about 4haif price. Last month Jim told me that he was clearing new ground, and had a fire lot of dry stove wood which he want ell to haul me at s1 per load He bragged awfully on how quick it would burn and what a hot fire real good. dry stove wood, prcpertly cut. would make. Jim is Hill billy right wears cotton shirt. jeans brooches. brogan shoes, and takes bath