Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1912-06-28

( VELVET E8 RAGS
INDIVIDUAL oPNioNt
{ BY LUE +. VERNON {



ship of ID, 600 tons.
Seemingly while Strawberries be-
come larger and larger, the box con-
tanning them becomes smaller and
smaller as the years go by.
Waterbury, Conn, has a club to
suppress profanity. That :own must
be either blessed with a perfect tele-
phone and street car service, or have
none at all.
| have never read, as yet, of a
baseball pitcher who possessed a poor
or retreating chin, a weak or turned
up nose, small neck, Or diminu
tive brow or irresolute eyes.
Hetty Green says that hash causes
more divorces than infidelity. She
might have added that the young
wife'S first biscuits cause more
agony than does the early cucum-
ber
The Seattleites should invite and
even send committee to escort
Hearst of newspaper fame to their
city, and offer him such inducements
that the Seattle E.roni'aer would be
fact.
Every woman, as she cooks three
meals day, and washes dishes after
ward. decides that the next time she
marries twill be to travelling man,
one who is not home more than once
a week to- cook for.
The East is welcome to her PreSi-
dental candidates, but if she at
tempts to honeyfugel our Puget
Sound summer weather from us, then
from Olympia to Blaine will be heard
the cry: To arms! To arms!'
The man who is non -committal on
a public question for fear it would
hurt his business to take sides, is
the loddest-mouthed critic of news
papers for not doing that which he is
too cowardly to do himself.
"a candidate for office in Ohio has fled
the statement required by law Of the ex-
penses incurred by him during the can
| vass preceding the late primary. He
puts the amount at 25 cents. Perhaps
it is superfuous to add that he was de-
| feated. ."-P.I.
Such cheap liar as the foregoing
candidate seems to be, deserves to
be defeated.
William Wright, policeman of
Wilkes Barre, Pa, claims he ate "a
raw eggs at one meal If fresh
ranch eggs" William is to be en-
We'd, in way; but if the eggs
were case" ones; well, Id give
William my heartfelt sympathy, if
he had only ate 32 raw ones, at a
single " sitting"
Surgeons in Philadelphia proclaim
to the world they have grated hui
man eye. How in the name of sci
ence the surgeons kept their own
eyes open (awake) in Philadelphia
long enough to perform the opera
tion is what puzzles those who have
always understood folks in the city
of BrotherIy Love" slept all the
time.
Anyway the credit of having eagle
eyes must be allowed the survivors
of the Titanic who kept trace OF
managing Director Ismay. For the
speed which he actually displayed,
according to survivors, in securing a
seat in the life-boat, and his break
ing the record for speed in rowing to,
and boarding the Carpathia, could
not be followed by human beings but
those possessing eyes of the eagle,
his fight being so speedy and rapid,
seemingly.
A New York preacher intimates
that the sinking of the Titanic was
due to the anger of the Lord, be-
cause steamship companies allowed
their boats to run on the Lords day,
and volunteers the statement that
He (the Lord set apart that day for
us to remember and keep it holy. l
would remind this preacher that
there is no record of the Lord doing
any such thing. There is no COM
mand in the New Testament to keep
the Lord day holy, and this preach
er ought to know it. Neither is it
so much as intimated that the Sab
hath was transferred to the seventh